#but there are some things that he will still take for granted
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[ID: The first image is a movie poster for the Dreamworks movie Home, showing Oh, a Boov (a wide, short, purple creature), Tip, a black girl, and a calico cat. The rest of the images are screenshots of sections of The True Meaning of Smekday, by Adam Rex.
In a ridiculously short amount of time, the Boov determined that humans were unwilling to mix peacefully into their culture. They pointed out all the people who fled instead of welcoming their new neighbors, even those whose homes had been taken outright. Captain Smek himself appeared on television for an official speech to humankind. (He didn't call us humankind, of course. He called us Noble Savages of Earth. Apparently we were all still living on Earth at this point.) "Noble Savages of Earth," he said. "Long time have we tried to live together in peace." (It had been five months.) "Long time have the Boov suffered under the hostileness and intolerableness of you people. With sad hearts I now concede that Boov and humans will never to exist as one." I remember being really excited at this point. Could I possibly be hearing right? Were the Boov about to leave? I was so stupid. "And so now I generously grant you Human Preserves—gifts of land that will be for humans forever, never to be taken away again, now." I stared at the TV, mouth agape. "But we were here first," I said pathetically.
The tent was strung with white Christmas lights and packed with people, all facing a stage on one end. And on the stage stood a redheaded man in a wifebeater with a Viking tattooed on his chest. People were booing him. "Shut up!" the redhead was saying. "I have the stage! All I'm saying is, now that we've all had to leave our real homes, we got a chance to get America right! There can be a place for the Saxon Americans, and a place for the coloreds, and a place for—shut up!"
"So every place has some kind of leader?" I asked. It had all happened so fast. "Sure. Most of them are former state governors, or senators, or whatever. The president runs a little town called Rye." "Just a little town?" "Yes..." said Mitch. "He's not very popular anymore, because of the invasion. People assume it was his fault somehow. But we have to have leaders. We have to have government." "I guess," I said. "Daniel Landry's district is far south of here," he said, "on some former Indian land." "Indian land? Like a reservation?" "That's right." "Is this Dan guy an Indian?" "I don't think so, no. I'm pretty sure he's white. He wasn't a governor or anything before, but he's really rich, so I imagine he's a good leader." "Uh-huh. But he's white," I said. "The Indians elected a white guy?" "Well...I don't know. I imagine all the other people elected him. It's mostly white folks living on the reservation now." I frowned. "And the Indians are okay with this?" "What do you mean?" "Well...it was a reservation," I said. "It was land we promised to the Native Americans. Forever." Mitch looked at me like I was speaking in tongues. "But...we needed it," he said.
"Mr. Hinkel," said the Chief, jerking his head toward the sleeping man. "He thinks Indians like me ought to live somewhere else. Likes to tell me about it a lot." I didn't really want to talk about Mr. Hinkel. "Well, maybe they'll let him go soon." "Doubt it," said the Chief. "Got beat up pretty good by someone who thinks gay people like him ought to live somewhere else."
The last excerpt from the book is in comic format, divided into four main panels. The first is captioned, "2,000 (two thousand) years ago - Many schools closed by the HighBoov, because Money is Needed Elsewhere. Boov are told not to worry about learning unimportant things. Boov are told to learn one useful thing that may be done over and over again and give their life meaning. HighBoov devise clever tests to find which Boov should be taught more, and which Boov should not be taught because Money is Needed Elsewhere." Boov are shown doing things like guarding, serving food, and taking care of children.
The second panel is captioned, "1,150 (one thousand, one hundred and fifty) years ago - Certain Boov who were taught many things announce that industry is polluting the waters of Boovworld." Boov in uniforms point to a chart of their world and gesture to something outside a window, presenting this information to other Boov in fancy outfits. "These scientist predict that the oceans soon will no longer be able to sustain life, unless things are changed."
The third panel is captioned, "1,149 (one thousand, one hundred and forty-nine) years ago - HighBoov declare that these warnings of pollution cannot be proven, so therefore nothing should be changed. The scientist Boov who gave these warnings are declared evil-evil that they should call our God unclean. These Boov are named the Forgotten and sent onto land into exile forever. Some of them die of asphyxiation. Most don't." A line of Boov trudge out of water onto land.
The fourth panel is captioned, "1,003 (one thousand and three) years ago - God dies of asphyxiation." There are many skeletons with lots of darkness in the background.
Plain text: "1,003 years ago, God dies of asphyxiation" End ID]
like the most politically neutered movie of all time unironically
#MAN i love the true meaning of smekday#the true meaning of smekday#long post#op feel free to put this in the alt descriptions alkdjf;lsdf no credit necessary + make edits as you please/if i made typos :-)#abcdefghijklmnop queue#art#comic
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🎄 MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄
How will you 🫵 spend your holidays with the boys?
These headcanons are mostly non-Christmas specific activities so everyone can feel included, no matter if you celebrate Christmas or not!!
Credits for the cozy prompts here!
Credits for the gifs here!
Frostheim
Jin
Drinking mulled wine.
It reminds him of when he snuck a sip from his mom's cup – feeling his cheeks warm and his mind get fuzzy. It was worth the light scolding he always received. As he grew up, however, the drink didn't taste as joyous as it used to. The spices held memories that were too painful to touch. Until you shared your cup with him during one Christmas night. And as he took a sip of your wine under your soft gaze, his cheeks warmed, and his mind grew fuzzy once again. But maybe it wasn't the drink's fault.
Tohma
Bundling up and taking a walk.
Granted, he already does it on the daily, but there's a special thing in the air when the year is ending; and the cold is seeping through the thickest of clothes; and you're right there, beside him, with your hand gripping his as if it was your lifeline. He knows he has a lot more resistance to the cold than you, and he enjoys it to the fullest. Seeing you bundled up, almost drowning inside his coats, waddling beside him like a penguin – he loves it. You're so cute. You're lucky he's a gentleman now.
Kaito
Baking cookies.
He thinks there's nothing more romantic than baking sweets with the person he's in love with. Wants to go through all of the cliches with you – putting flour on each other's noses and cheeks, sneaking a taste before it's done, making awfully shaped cookies just for the fun of it... it's the date of his dreams. It's only fair he'll try his best to make something you can't forget either.
Luca
Playing board games.
It reminds him of home. Of late nights with his parents and his brother, playfully arguing over plenty of colorful boards and weird pieces. However, playing games with his family after his brother disappeared became hard. It took him some time to realize he could enjoy it again with you. One night, under the dim lights and to the sound of your laughter and playful bickering, he felt his chest grow warm and his eyes soften as he looked at you, sat right across from him. He felt like he could keep trying again.
Vagastrom
Alan
Taking a long nap.
When was the last time Alan let his guard down? As he curls himself up on his couch, he feels like it must have happened in another lifetime. He focuses on his own breathing and his slow heartbeat – the soft, weighted blanket you had given him protects him from the cold outside, and he catches his own eyelids drooping. He feels comfortable. He feels safe. Before he drifts into a calm sleep, he makes a mental note to gather enough courage to ask you to make him company next time.
Leo
Lighting scented candles.
Self care wasn't exactly a foreign subject for Leo. He knew all there was to know about it. Yet, one thing still remained special whenever winter came around: the holiday themed candles. Gingerbread, nutmeg, peppermint... He pushed every themed candle into your arms whenever you two went shopping during this time of the year. It was his guilty pleasure; one of the few things he actually got excited about. You just have to give in to his whims (and pray you have no allergies).
Sho
Visiting the Christmas market.
Sho can handle crowds easily. Better than you, that's for sure. So you trust him when he invites you to stroll through the market, knowing he'll keep your hand in his as you two look at all the trinkets for sale and all the stall foods. You get each other small gifts – Sho gives you a miniature motorcycle keychain, and you give him a new bandana (which he puts it on his head immediately). As you two walk leisurely, hand in hand, through the busy street, he selfishly wishes he could just stay in this moment forever.
Jabberwock
Haru
Knitting a warm sweater.
He just finds more and more work for himself, even when he tries to relax; as if his body is fueled on responsibilities he creates for himself. If you point it out, Haru will only laugh and say he just wants everyone to have their own matching, ugly sweater. And he's steadfast on his goal. He wants his fingerprints visible when he's creating his very own family. You wearing an ugly sweater he made is just the first step.
Towa
Watching romantic movies.
Is it surprising to know that Towa is probably the biggest Hallmark fan? He could watch a thousand of the same "workaholic woman moves to small town and finds love" movies, and still wouldn't get tired of them. He talks of how he wants to recreate the "airport kiss" scenes, the "kiss under the rain" scenes, and the "kiss in front of an entire city" scenes. You tell him you can't offer him that much, but you can give him a kiss for every godawful movie he forced you to watch. And that's more than enough for him.
Ren
Listening to podcasts.
He doesn't like Christmas. Not surprising, I know. He just thrives in being a hater, and hating Christmas is essential to his persona. He will never admit, however, how much he loves the holiday atmosphere, and how perfect it is to tune into his favorite horror podcasts during the chilly, dark winter. You don't even point out that Halloween was two months ago anymore. You just cozy up next to him, and under fairylights and mistletoes, you get ready to listen to his favorite monster stories.
Sinostra
Taiga
Watching the snow fall.
He feels like the white snow awaken old, softer memories of a time long gone. He lays his head on your lap as you two hide in one of the school building's balconies, observing the snowflakes slowly coat the grass outside. You gently card your fingers through his tousled hair. Maybe he doesn't need to remember anything else if he can keep the memory of this moment in his mind, forever.
Romeo
Wearing warm pajamas.
They're fuzzy, soft to the touch. He can even feel his shoulders sagging as you straighten his pajamas and gently massage his shoulders. No need to yell, no need to fight, no need to worry about things falling apart and through his fingers. He shares his skincare with you in silence, and you accept it, in silence as well. The hum of his air conditioner is enough noise to fill the small, cozy little space you had created for him.
Ritsu
Doing a jigsaw puzzle.
There are no strict rules, no correct way of playing. Just a simple task with a simple goal. For once, he feels like he can be in silence and just properly enjoy your company while you two build some generic scenery together. Ritsu can just be, without the need to prove himself the smartest or the best in order to justify the space he occupies. For two to three hours, it's just you and him and nothing else.
Hotarubi
Subaru
Drinking hot chocolate.
The contrast between the japanese ambiance of Hotarubi and how "western" Christmas feels never fails to amaze Subaru. His favorite part of Christmas, however, isn't the decoration: it's the food. The sweets. He loves to warm his hands with a huge mug of hot chocolate, blushing every time you plop a few more marshmallows in his beverage. You spoil him, shoving every little sweet treat you find in his hands. He promises to eat them all, but only if you always join him in his indulgence.
Haku
Reading a good book.
It's not hard for Haku to have a good day, holiday or not. He just wants to laze around and have you tucked under his arm. That's all there is to it. He looks up from the new book you had just given him as a Christmas gift, only to see you handing him a mug of hot chocolate. He smiles, setting the book and the mug aside, and taps the seat right next to him, effectively trapping you under his arm. If he's being honest, he doesn't really care about christmas, but man, does he love christmas with you.
Zenji
Decorating for the season.
While Subaru usually worries about contrasting decorations, Zenji makes sure to place fairylights in every tatami room as soon as winter comes. He drags you around the dorm, his official helper, while he hangs ribbons and bells and mistletoes in every wall. When you ask him if he's hanging mistletoes on the doorways on purpose though, he looks at you with wide-eyed curiosity – he had no idea what you meant. Was there some tradition he wasn't aware of? Well, you're more than happy to teach him.
Obscuary
Ed
Lazing around
It's hard to break his habits. You do manage to shoo him out of his room after announcing Rui and you would deep clean it, so it could be presentable during the new year. Ed is pretty sure you're scarred for life, but, well, you insisted, right? But it's the holiday time, and his undead heart feels a little bit for you. He invites you to stay at his now pristine room for a while, dragging you into a random, obscure youtube rabbit hole. At least his sheets are all clean.
Rui
Going ice-skating.
Isn't it the perfect date? Being able to show off his glorious skating abilities, all while being your knight in shining armor, ready to catch you if you fall. He loves the angry red of your nose and cheeks and the awe in your face as you look at the way the sun reflects on the ice. Rui can barely keep himself from smooching your face until you were red from his attention, not the cold. He can't wait to take you to a cafe date next.
Lyca
Doing arts and crafts.
He wants to give a gift to Santa, and who are you to say no when Lyca asks you for help? In fact, he wants to give gifts to everyone he knows as well: the blonde gigolo, moth eaten casanova, Harurin, Romi and you, of course. His room becomes a warzone of arts and crafts supplies – there's glitter, glue and colored paper everywhere. But cleaning doesn't even come to his mind as he gives you a cheeky grin, glitter all over his face, as he show you his little craft project for Santa. He'll catch him this year, for sure.
Mortkranken
Yuri
Listening to cozy playlists.
Holiday spirit is the one Yuri blames when he allows you to control the aux cord. He's so generous, only demanding that every song must be instrumental. His ears perk up while he works on his papers and you put some etheral music to play. Plastic Platina, you call it. He huffs. What a silly name. He wasn't expecting, however, to inadvertently hum to the repeating rhythm of the song, his work flowing a little more fluidly than he expected. Maybe he can give things other than classic a try. But only sometimes.
Jiro
Lounging by the fireplace.
His body feels a little cold most of the time. It's a common ailment of his after he had woken up from his coma. During winter, therefore, he allows himself to be dragged by your hands as you demand he sits in front of the fireplace. You place a weighted blanket on his shoulders and tuck it snuggly under his feet. You sit beside him, watching the fire crackle and nursing a mug of coffee. He looks at you, body flush against him and he feels his cheeks grow a litte warmer, much to his surprise. Being cold isn't so bad, when he has your company.
#tokyo debunker#tokyo debunker headcanons#jin kamurai#tohma ishibashi#kaito fuji#lucas errant#alan mido#leo kurosagi#sho haizono#haru sagara#towa otonashi#ren shiranami#taiga hoshibami#romeo lucci#ritsu shinjo#subaru kagami#haku kusanagi#zenji kotodama#edward hart#rui mizuki#lyca colt#yuri isami#jiro kirisaki
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Part One ThirtyNine
prompt from @mugloversonly @after-the-end-times @spectrum-spectre
It’s a little odd having a birthday banner hanging across the Christmas Tree, but everyone was pretty determined that this is Eddie’s birthday, and that’s a totally different thing to Christmas Eve. So everyone is here; Joyce even baked a proper birthday cake, and now they’re doing the thing where they bring out the cake and everyone sings.
It feels bittersweet to Steve; Eddie’s first birthday. It was a year ago today that Steve pulled Eddie out of the pool. A year ago today Eddie came back to him. He remembers vividly struggling to get Eddie up the stairs. Cleaning all the filth off him. How he’d looked, with no hair at all, all skin and bones, wobbling his way down the stairs. The noise he’d made the first time he ever tried bacon; the startled look on his face the first time he’d ever hiccuped.
Eddie stays where he’s been put, sitting at the head of dining room table, proudly wearing a Birthday party hat. Eddie’s been to a couple of birthdays this year, mainly for the kids, so he knows what’s coming. He looks fucking delighted at the sight of the cake, but he still checks, “I can blow out the candles?”
“Yeap,” Steve tells him.
“Make a wish first!” Joyce calls.
“I wish-”
“Nooooooo!” probably half a dozen people yell, “keep it a secret or it won’t come true,” Robin adds. Eddie stares hard at the candles for a long second, and then he looks up, finding Steve. Steve can see the moment Eddie settles on his wish.
He’s still staring at Steve when he blows them out.
“So...things with Eddie are good then?”
It’s a little uncomfortable, but all the stuff that happened feels like it was a long time ago now. Nancy has definitely been making an effort to build a fresh friendship, and Steve can’t fault her for it, not really. Steve finds Eddie, he can see him through the doorway into the kitchen, making something with Robin and Chrissy, “yeah everything is...great. Like really great.”
“I was...a little surprised, you know?”
“Yeah that’s...understandable,” and it is. Eddie is literally a creature from The Upside Down; he didn’t even look remotely human to begin with, half of him was literally a fish. Plus Steve’s never really been interested in guys before, but he guesses there must have always been a little something there for him to take to it so easily. Granted the circumstances forced his hand a little, and he’s still had a couple of things to work through but...he feels pretty good about it. Besides, Eddie still isn’t even really human, so it probably doesn’t exactly count. Not with his lack of nipples and his downstairs situation anyway; you can’t exactly try to stick Eddie into a category...he’s Eddie, a unique and perfect thing all his own.
In the kitchen, Robin spills something, Chrissy shrieks and Eddie manically dashes for a cloth, cackling. The chaos of it makes Steve smile at them; everyone is at least a few drinks deep, Steve’s sure.
“You really care about him though?” She presses a little. Nancy’s never been able to just let it go, especially if she doesn’t understand it. She always needs to know, Steve’s pretty sure it’s not a nosiness thing; more an understanding thing.
“Yeah, yeah I love him,” Steve tells her unabashed, it is the truth, “he loves me too.”
“You’re sure it’s not just...I mean you did rescue him, plus, where would he even go if you weren't together-”
“Are you suggesting Eddie has some sort of-of-of Stockholm syndrome?” Steve can’t help but laugh, a little incredulous at the suggestion.
“Well no, I just. Think you should both be sure-”
“How are you and Jon then?” Steve cuts her off. He chooses to lean into the spirit of Christmas and assume that Nancy’s concerns all come from a good place. Even so, it’s not a good intention Steve has to tolerate if he doesn’t want to. He raises his eyebrows at her, waiting.
Nancy draws breath, like she’s not done, but then clearly rethinks it and chooses her battle, Steve can see the moment when she decides not to pursue it, sipping her drink before she replies, “yeah, really good,” over her shoulder, Eddie, Chrissy, and Robs have their heads together, the conversation clearly turned serious.
“That’s good Nance,” Steve chooses to be the bigger man, “I’m just really glad you’re both happy,” he tells her pointedly. In the kitchen, Eddie’s turned to find Steve, watching him back. Steve can’t quite decipher the look on his face, but Robin’s clutching his arm, on her toes, speaking urgently to Eddie. She looks kind of panicked, which immediately worries Steve.
“Well, I mean, obviously I want you to be happy, I mean I’m glad, really glad it all worked out for you.”
Eddie has a look on his face that Steve’s pretty certain he’s never seen before. He can’t quite work out what it means other than...Eddie’s pissed. Like, really fucking angry. And he’s marching closer, shaking off both Robin and Chrissy in the process.
Steve has no clue what’s happening as Eddie approaches, pushing Steve away from Nancy to press him against the wall and then...kisses him. Steve has his eyes open, not sure what to make of Eddie’s rage, but he soon lets them slide closed. He melts against the wall. Eddie’s kissing him like he’s got something to prove. He’s almost bitey as he sucks at Steve’s lips, leaving little scrapes that don’t quite break the skin. The passion is surprising, but so fucking hot Steve leans into it fast, matching Eddie’s energy and he sucks on Eddie’s tongue, curling his fingers around Eddie’s hips to pull him closer, no longer wanting to stop to question Eddie’s motives.
Eddie pulls back, pink and flushed, an inch of space between them, panting for breath Eddie asks, “you and Nancy used to be together?”
“I-” Steve can’t help his gaze flicking side wards to Nancy, and then back to Eddie, Eddie’s eyes narrowing at the sight, something flashing in the depths, “yeah?” Steve confirms weakly.
Eddie presses closer, his claws pricking Steve’s skin through his clothes; Eddie’s never been possessive like this before, and Steve is...well they’ve had a lot of sex, and Eddie pressing himself against Steve like this, kissing him like that...Steve’s body is only reacting the way it always does, which is a little mortifying in a room full of people.
Eddie leans his face closer again, his hair brushing Steve’s forehead, his breath warm as he growls, “you had sex with her?”
“Eddie!” Steve splutters, but apparently even that is too much, Eddie has him by the wrist, not quite painful, but very harsh compared to Eddie’s usually gentle nature. Eddie turns, pulling Steve along and he...bares his teeth at Nancy, actually hissing at her on the way past.
“Eddie!” Steve starts again, shocked, this time a reprimand, “be nice!” That’s no way to behave, and Nancy is unnerved enough that she takes a big step back. Steve is dragged along behind Eddie, ending up locked into the downstairs bathroom together. Eddie pins him against the door with his body, kissing Steve soundly.
“Baby,” Steve starts, his words broken by kisses, “what’s gotten into you?”
Eddie just growls. It’s not a sound Steve’s ever heard before, and he can feel it, rumbling in Eddie’s body where their chests are pressed together, “need you.”
Eddie starts nipping at Steve’s throat, stinging kisses that makes Steve’s hips roll, looking for friction against Eddie’s thigh. His brain feels like it’s going a little mushy, Eddie’s being unusually forceful, and Steve’s vaguely aware that everyone is still out there and, probably, are now very aware that they’re shut in here together but...as Eddie’s questing fingers find the button on Steve’s jeans, he’s struggling to care about that stuff.
“We’ve got to be quiet,” Steve breathes out, a final token protest, giving in to what's about to happen. Eddie huffs dismissively, tugging down Steve’s jeans and underwear together, Steve angling his hips away from the door to help. Eddie abandons them there, bunched around Steve’s thighs, surging up for another possessive kiss. Eddie grabs Steve’s bare ass with both hands, his claws digging into the meat a little as he squeezes, pulling Steve against him.
“She not touch you again,” Eddie growls against Steve’s mouth, words choppy, “promise.”
“I...I promise baby, of course,” Eddie stares into Steve’s face, their warm breaths mingling as Eddie inspects him from inches away, like he’s searching for any hint of a lie, “no one else ever again, I swear it.”
Eddie nods once, sharply, before spitting into his palm and grabbing Steve's now, very hard cock. He had no idea he’d be into this, but possessive, bossy Eddie is lighting him up in a way he didn’t know he’d like, his brain turning to mush a little as Eddie touches him. He feels too warm, flushed and sweaty already, the world narrowed down to Eddie’s touch on him, hard and fast, intent on getting him off.
“And you,” Steve’s mouth is insisting before his brain catches up, he needs it, needs to make Eddie feel good too. Eddie doesn’t stop jerking him, but he does slow it down, leaning back a tiny bit, giving Steve space to reach past the bend of Eddie’s own arm to get to the button on his jeans.
Steve sees the fabric move. He can see Eddie’s cock desperately wriggling for freedom beneath his zipper. Eddie’s told him before that it gets real uncomfortable real fast, and Steve tuts quietly, “baby.”
Eddie’s cock forces it's way free before Steve even has the zipper half down, already having found it’s way through the slit in Eddie’s boxers, it rushes into Steve’s fingers, greeting him eagerly and tangling itself firmly there. Eddie groans, shuffling close again. The head of Eddie’s cock opens, setting sucking kisses on every part of Steve’s hand and fingers it can reach. They arrange themselves as Eddie’s hand speeds up again, “fuck, baby, yeah.” Steve’s cock is leaking, making Eddie’s hand slick, but Eddie still stops to spit again, landing the glob on the exposed head of Steve’s cock. It’s red already, and Eddie squeezes, forcing Steve’s foreskin up to roll back up and partially cover the swollen head.
Steve’s guts are tight already, the muscles in his ass and legs tensing, he can’t stop the shift of his own hips as he works his thumb in circles across the head of Eddie’s own cock. Eddie jacks him again, slow and so firm, forcing a massive dribble of pre come out of the head of Steve’s cock. Steve groans again, “baby, I’m gonna’-”
“Wait,” Eddie uses his free hand to push Steve’s hand off himself, letting his cock to wriggle free between them. It stands tall, searching, the black petals rippling.
Eddie angles Steve’s cock out, pulling the head down and towards himself, and Steve instantly knows what Eddies planning, “oh fuck baby, yes, yes please.” They’ve never done this before, but just the idea of it makes Steve hips shift, his balls going tight, the orgasm bubbling at the base of his cock, “please, now,” Steve vaguely aware that he’s whining, loud and desperate.
People can hear; he doesn’t give a fuck. He wants this.
Eddie’s cock latches to the head of Steve’s, the black petals stark against the dark pink spongy head. The fit is perfect, the slit of Steve’s cock, the head, being suckled and gently rubbed by all those little bumps, the sucking pulse feels like a mouth, the texture incredible. Eddie drags his hand upward, forcing Steve’s skin up again, his foreskin sliding over top of the petals. Eddie makes a choked noise, his free hand scrabbling again at the meat of Steve’s ass. Steve desperately locks his knees to stop himself from falling. The pulsing, sucking, pulling sensation is relentless.
Eddie moves his hand again, dragging Steve's foreskin back down, revealing the filthy sight of those jet black petals cupping the head of Steve's cock, the body of Eddie's cock writhing. Steve’s head thumps back against the door, his hips wriggling now, unable to stop himself moving in tiny little thrusts, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” Steve groans, “baby-”
Eddie leans up for a kiss. It’s messy, uncoordinated, both of them groaning and panting into each others mouths, and Steve cries out against Eddie’s lips as he comes. The pull is sharp, the stimulation on the head of his cock turning frantic as, just like with Steve’s spit on his cock, Steve’s come works to push Eddie into his own orgasm. Eddie accidentally catches Steve’s lip with his teeth, and the sting is delicious. His orgasm seems to go on forever, Eddie's cock suckling fiercely, and Eddie’s hand working him so perfectly.
Eventually, Eddie slumps forward onto Steve, Steve using his back to the door to keep them both up. “That was…” Steve starts, but doesn’t know where to go. He doesn’t know how to describe what just happened. It was maybe the best orgasm of Steve’s life.
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, muffled where his face is smushed into Steve’s shoulder. The head of Steve’s dick is suddenly cold, and he figures Eddie’s dick has gone back in. They stand there for a few minutes, Steve rubbing Eddie’s back, gathering themselves. Eddie clears his throat, lifting his head so he can look Steve in the eye, “I’m sorry.”
Steve frowns, brain still a little flooded with happy chemicals, “what?”
“For before. I just...I found out about you and Nancy and I got...I got so angry. It,” Eddie makes a motion between them, a churning of his insides that he can’t express, “I’ve never felt like that before it was...like I hated her. And I needed you and I don’t understand-”
“You were jealous, baby?”
“I...yeah, it was horrible. And stupid- I didn’t – there’s no-” Eddie huffs, struggling for the words.
“How you feel doesn’t always make sense. There’s no...rules, you know.” Steve frowns, remembering, “should probably say sorry to Nancy though, you like, hissed at her which, kind of funny but still.”
Eddie looks a cross between horrified and mortified, “I don’t even remember.”
“Wow,” Steve can’t help being smug, “got it bad for me, huh?”
Eddie limply slaps at Steve’s chest, sighing through his nose, “shut up.”
Steve hums, “uh huh. We should get cleaned up.”
“Probably.”
They peel themselves apart, Steve leaning to grab for some tissue off the roll as Eddie starts to pull his pants down a little, but as Steve investigates, his finds his cock dry, “huh, where did it go?” He wipes up a little, the skin tacky with spit and precome, but otherwise everything is clean and dry, “uh...is my come on you? I can’t, uhm, find it?” He tucks himself away, pulling everything up so he can help Eddie.
“I don’ t think so?” Eddie replies, touching himself, his slit, the crease of his thighs, when Steve goes to wipe at him with the tissue, since Eddie usually makes a lot of come, there’s nothing, “I’m clean,” Eddie tells him.
Steve frowns, “did you come?”
“Yeah,” Eddie huffs, “I definitely, definitely did. That was…”
“Yeah,” Steve agrees, “but you’re dry?”
“Yeah,” Eddie scissors his thighs together, something he normally does when he’s spreading all the jelly like come about, “nothing there.”
“This is weird, where'd it all go? And why haven’t you, you know?” Steve feels for himself, running two fingers gently along Eddie’s slit, pushing in to part him the tiniest bit, Eddie makes a breathy little noise as Steve pulls away, “you sure you came?”
“Steve,” Eddie replies flatly, pulling his pants up and buttoning them.
“Right right it’s just...weird, right?”
Eddie shrugs, “makes it easy?”
“Yeah...don’t look a gift horse in the mouth I guess, considering we now have to go out there and face everyone.”
Eddie grins, “I like that they know.”
“Of course you do,” Steve sighs, fixes his hair in the mirror, and opens the door.
It’s after midnight; Eddie’s birthday is officially over. All the kids have gone home with Hopper and Joyce, and before everyone else heads home, since it’s Christmas, they’re going to exchange gifts now.
Steve had been, mildly mortified after they came out of the bathroom, not really wanting to face Joyce's raised eyebrows or the girls giggling...Eddie however, has been strutting around like a proud peacock, so Steve hasn't been feeling too ashamed about the whole thing. He is however, glad of the distraction of the gifts.
All the gifts are stacked under the tree, and Steve has been voted to distribute. A lot of the labels have been made from cut up magazine letters so that the hand writing won’t be recognized; to Steve they vaguely look like ransom threats.
They go around the room, opening their gifts one at a time, trying to guess who got them. They mostly work it out. Steve isn’t that interested in his own; he’s more interested in what Eddie got. The box is actually kind of heavy, and it’s pretty big.
Eddie opens it happily, pulling out a record that Steve knows he’s wanted for ages. And then...a denim jacket with no sleeves that Steve knows he was eyeing at the thrift store. Steve watches with mounting suspicion as Eddie pulls out a book he's talked about. The box, now Steve’s thinking about it, is wrapped with very familiar wrapping paper.
“Eddie, you got loads, they definitely didn’t stay on budget. Who got Eddie? Steve, was it you?”
“No, no it wasn’t me,” Steve quietly chuckles to himself. He half listens as Robin goes around the room, and every single person denies getting Eddie.
“Whoever pulled your name must know you pretty well, huh Baby? They got you exactly what you wanted.”
“Yup,” Eddie grins happily.
“Steve, come on, it must have been you, it wasn’t any of us.”
Steve just shakes his head in denial before turning back to Eddie, “baby...it’s kind of against the rules to pull your own name.”
Eddie frowns, “no it isn’t,” the whole room erupts into laughter around them.
Steve tries to clear up some of the aftermath, but it’s nearly two in the morning and he can’t be fucked really. He collapses on the couch, finishing his now warm flat soda. He can hear Eddie pottering, “we should go to bed!” Steve calls. He’s not loud, not much above speaking volume really, but he knows Eddie will hear him.
“Can we do our gifts now?” Eddie asks from the doorway.
“Sure Baby, if you want to. We’re going to be out most of the day tomorrow anyway,” they’re spending Christmas with the Hopper-Byers brigade, and Steve is kind of looking forward to it. Eddie’s second ever Christmas.
Steve heads off to his hiding place in one of the spare rooms to get Eddie’s gifts, Eddie does the same; Steve knows his are stashed out in the utility.
He’s been pretending not to know.
“Okay, me first,” Eddie says, sitting and pulling out what Steve knows is the record. Steve eyes the gift he has from Eddie; just the one, but it’s fairly big looking. Square. Steve has no idea what it could be.
Eddie likes the record; he absolutely loves the book of Metallica tabs and almost leaves to get his guitar right there and then, but Steve stops him, “tomorrow baby. We really need to sleep after this.”
Eddie laughs at himself and his own excitement, agreeing. When he opens his final gift, the guitar pick necklace, he puts it on immediately and swears he loves it so much he’s never going to take if off. Steve’s glad to hear it, even if it makes him feel, momentarily, a little weirdly possessive.
“Okay, this first,” Eddie pulls over the box, “Chrissy helped me,” he admits as Steve unwraps it, carefully pulling out the frame inside. It’s wrapped in soft packing paper, and Steve pulls that away to reveal his crown. It’s been artfully arranged behind the glass, all dried now, the tufts of grasses stand tall, still twined up with all the little flowers that Eddie had included. Clearly someone spent a very long time carefully setting it out, and it looks beautiful. Steve had carefully stored it away in a shoebox, so he hadn't even noticed it was gone. He’s...touched, by the memory of them in the woods around Hopper’s cabin. Eddie had told Steve he loved him for the first time not long after.
“Thank you...it’s so thoughtful. Thank you. I can hang this up and remember it forever, I love it.” Eddie smiles, slipping off the couch to kneel in front of Steve. Steve sets the frame down.
Eddie pulls a little velvet box out of his pocket, “I didn’t understand what it meant,” he starts slowly, “when you put this on me,” he lifts his left hand, rubbing at the ring with his thumb. “I didn’t know what being engaged was, or weddings or...any of it. I didn’t know, but you loved me anyway, and I’ve never taken it off,” Steve swallows thickly, he knows, he knows in his bones where this is going, but he lets Eddie speak. If Eddie’s saying so may words in one go, it means he’s really thought about, and Steve won’t interrupt him. “But I know now. I understand all of it, and I know I’m a guy, and...we can’t get married, but I...wanted to show you that I know. I know now, and I love you too.”
Eddie opens the box, it’s a simple silver band, thicker than Eddie’s but still, it matches. Steve isn’t sure he’d be able to speak, his eyes already feel wet, so he silently holds his hand out for Eddie to slide the ring on; it fits perfectly.
Steve feels like he’ll crack open if he tries to talk about what he feels right now, it’s too big, too much, “you measured my finger didn’t you. Before the mall? So sneaky.”
Eddie nods, his own eyes looking suspiciously misty, smiling and biting at his lip, clearly nervous, “do you like it?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I love it, thank you. I love you.”
Eddie smiles, sitting up for a kiss, “love you, too.”
#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#steddie#ficlet#ao3 author#upside down creature eddie#Fish Guy Eddie#creature eddie munson#robin buckly#chrissy cunningham#eddie and chrissy#fish guy#platonic stobin
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A Rose in Harlem
New York is supposed to be the city where people vanish into the chaos, but somehow, Simon Riley has found his way into your life. He’s managed to slip past your defenses, filling a void you didn’t realize was there. But when the closeness starts to feel too real, you pull back, desperate to hide your vulnerability. Simon, however, has already bared his own scars and expects you to do the same. Suddenly, your life feels like a romcom you never signed up for, starring the one man who’s impossible to ignore.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete, when no one else ever cared.
Masterlist
PART 4
The Sweetest Taboo
So, you're sleeping with your neighbor. This is fine. Totally fine. You're two consenting adults; no one needs to know. Except Simon seems to disagree.
You wouldn’t peg him as the "kiss and tell" type, but much to your duress, Simon is unapologetically the "kiss and show" type.
At the grocery store, he casually shows up at the same time, grabbing your bags like it’s second nature and walking you home. The stares from the neighbors make your face burn.
Morning run-ins in the foyer have evolved into something dangerously inappropriate. He refuses to let you leave without a kiss. Sometimes it’s just a fleeting brush of lips; other times, it’s deeper, lingering, and edging into the territory of lewd, making you shove his face away.
Then there’s the hoodie. One of his oversized ones, soft and smelling faintly of him. He bullied you into wearing it. You caved, of course, but it stays hidden in the back of your drawer when Ishta comes around—there’s no way you’re dealing with opening that can of worms.
It’s not just the overt gestures, though. It’s the way he lingers too long at your door after you’ve kissed him goodnight. Watches you through the fire escape, like he has every right to. Sitting there with his legs sprawled, a cigarette lazily dangling between his fingers, he makes no attempt to hide it.
You tried to put an end to that one. Bought curtains on a whim, feeling smug about the newfound privacy they’d grant you. But they mysteriously disappeared the day after you installed them—conveniently after you’d gone to work.
Simon played dumb when you confronted him, leaning casually against his doorframe.
“Dunno what you’re talking about, angel. Someone breaking in while you’re away? Maybe I should stick around your place and keep watch.”
His grin was infuriatingly smug, as it usually is.
It’s all becoming a little too real, a little too… loud. And yet, when you’re pressed up against him in the quiet of your apartment, his hands framing your face like you’re the only thing worth holding onto, you almost forget about his wrongdoings.
***
“Brought out the good shit tonight.”
Ishta grins, popping open a bottle of prosecco—the cheap, overly sweet kind she adores. You hold back the urge to grimace as she pours, passing you a glass.
“What's the occasion?”
“Me and Mr.Scottsman are official!”
She squeals lifting her glass high. You mimic the gesture, the clink of glass on glass ringing lightly through the room.
“Wow, it's so official you still won't tell me his name.”
You quip, rolling your eyes as you take a cautious sip. The sweetness of the wine hits immediately, and you fight the reflex to wince.
“John. Johnny.”
She sighs dreamily, hearts in her eyes.
“I call him Johnny because John is way too serious for my liking.”
You raise a brow at her,
"Sounds like you’ve got it bad, Ishta.”
She doesn’t deny it, swirling the prosecco in her glass like it’s some romantic prop, her grin widening.
"Oh, you have no idea. He’s got this laugh—it’s ridiculous—and he can’t make tea to save his life. But, ugh, he’s perfect."
You shake your head, taking another begrudging sip of the prosecco, already bracing yourself for what’s sure to be a night of gushing anecdotes about Johnny.
“Perfect,”
You echo with a laugh, setting your glass down.
“You’ve been together for how long now? A month?”
“Three weeks,”
Ishta corrects.
“But when you know, you know.”
You snort, leaning back against the arm of the couch.
“Yeah, sure. You’re gonna marry this man, huh?”
“Don’t tempt me,”
She says, her grin widening.
“He’s already invited to meet his family. Can you believe it? His family, and I’m just over here trying to not come off as a complete lunatic.”
“Well, you’re failing spectacularly.”
You tease.
She throws a pillow at you, laughing.
“Says the one who’s been mysteriously glowing these past few weeks. Care to spill why?”
You freeze for half a second, a sip of prosecco poised at your lips.
“Glowing? What are you even talking about?”
“Oh, don’t play coy with me,”
Ishta says, narrowing her eyes.
“You’re hiding something. Someone.”
You feign indifference, shrugging.
“Maybe I’ve just been using better skincare.”
“Bullshit. Spill. Who is it?”
She leans forward, her gaze piercing.
There’s no way you’re telling her. Not about Simon. Not about the fire escape. Not about the way his hands feel against your skin or the things he whispers in the dark.
“No one,”
You say firmly, hoping she buys it.
“And stop projecting your ridiculous love life onto me.”
Ishta squints at you, unconvinced.
“Uh-huh. Sure. For now, you’re off the hook. But mark my words,”
She wags a finger at you.
“I’ll figure it out.”
You laugh nervously, downing the rest of your drink.
You’re grateful for how easily distracted Ishta can be, her attention now fully locked onto the trashy dating show the two of you watch every Thursday. It’s a routine you’d both adopted more for the chance to mock strangers' poor life choices than for any genuine investment in the drama.
Occasionally, she’ll pipe up, her voice dreamy as she recounts the latest romantic gesture from Johnny, her “Mr. Scotsman." She compares him to the guys on TV, and each time, she insists that Johnny does it better. You can almost hear the wistful sigh in her voice as she talks about how much she adores him.
You smile at her, teasing lightly,
“Gonna end up as one of those military wives?”
Ishta laughs, a genuine, carefree sound that rings out in the space between you. She shrugs with mock indifference, but there’s a spark in her eyes.
"Maybe. I mean, he’s a loverboy under all that wildness, but yeah… I’d say I’ve got it bad.”
You smirk at her, shaking your head.
"You’re hopeless."
"And you’re one to talk,”
She fires back, leveling you with a knowing look.
“Sexy British neighbor still got you tied up in knots?”
You scoff, taking a sip of your drink to stall. The wine’s still too sweet, sticking to your tongue, but you focus on the tang that lingers at the edges.
“I’m not ‘tied up’ in anything. Haven't even spoken to him since the noise complaint situation.”
“Riiight.”
She side-eyes you, unconvinced.
“Something tells me that's not entirely true. You get this weird look on your face every time I bring him up.”
You try to keep a straight face.
“Maybe you’re reading too much into things.”
“Uh-huh.”
She leans back, crossing her arms.
“One of these days, I'll catch you slipping.”
You roll your eyes, desperate to redirect her attention.
“I think you’ve had too much wine.”
“Or not enough,”
She shoots back, taking another sip with a knowing smirk. She hums, like she just remembered something important.
“I forgot to tell you, Johnny invited you to come with me to meet his family.”
You make a face of confusion.
“Me? Why?”
“I talk about you a lot, believe it or not you are one of the most important people in my life.”
The statement takes you back a bit, makes you feel a twinge of guilt lying to her.
“But his family?”
“Well…”
She tilts her head, searching for the right words.
“They’re not exactly blood relatives. They’re his squad, I think that’s the term he uses. He trusts them with his life, so he sees them as family—or the closest thing to it. Something like that.”
It’s her turn to hesitate, her fingers absently trailing the stem of her wine glass.
“Anyway, he thought you might want to come along. Besides,” She adds with a grin, peeking up again.
“It'll be fun. Think about it! Drinks, charming military men, and me as your entertainment. What more could you want?”
With Simon in your life, you think to yourself, you find yourself wanting for nothing lately—except maybe a little less suffocating attention.
“Yeah, what more could I want.”
You say aloud, masking the weight of your thoughts with a light laugh.
Ishta beams at your answer,
“That’s the spirit! You’ll see—it’ll be good for you. And hey, if nothing else, you can help me judge Johnny’s friends. Who knows, maybe one of them is a secret disaster like the guys on this show.”
The conversation shifts back to the TV, her playful commentary dragging you out of your head. But even as you nod along, your mind is already working on an escape plan.
You’re just gonna text her some excuse when the day comes. She’ll understand. Probably.
***
“How can you breathe in these?”
You groan, tugging at the waistband of Ishta’s skin-tight leather pants as she twists and wiggles, trying to pull them up.
“Breathing isn’t a priority here.”
She huffs, planting her hands on her hips and giving a final shimmy.
“Looking good is. Besides,”
She admires herself in the mirror.
“Johnny will love it.”
“Yeah, he probably cares more about how easy they’ll be to take off, Ishta.”
She grins, running her hands down the smooth fabric.
“Yeah. My man, the most efficient guy I know.”
You laugh, shaking your head as she strikes a dramatic pose.
“Efficiency—truly the cornerstone of romance.”
“Don’t knock it,”
She quips, spinning around to face you.
“He’s got it down to an art. Makes him a great lover.”
“Ishta.”
“I mean seriously, when I'm running late he knows exactly what to-”
“Ishta!”
“What? Someone has to get laid here, and it sure isn't you!”
You groan in protest, grabbing a throw pillow and launching it at her. She ducks, her laughter ringing out as she returns to inspecting her reflection in the mirror, twisting to check out the back of her pants.
“I think my butt’s getting bigger.”
She declares, completely unfazed.
“Aren’t we running late?”
You ask, exasperated.
“We’re fine. He’s getting us an Uber.”
She replies, adjusting the waistband of her pants with a smug little smile.
“To Brooklyn? Ouuu, big money.”
You tease, rolling your eyes as you grab your bag.
She grins, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
“I just got him trained right. I'll show you how to do it when you get your own man. Or woman. Or anyone.”
Before you get to have your say her phone dings, and she grabs her keys.
"C’mon, Uber’s here."
You give her one last look before following her out the door, ready for whatever insanity lies ahead.
***
The bar you stand outside of is dingy and small, a stark contrast to the sleek black SUV Johnny arranged for Ishta and you. You raise an eyebrow, already feeling out of place.
“Are you sure this is the place?”
You ask, rocking side to side in your heels, feet already hurting.
“Too good for it?”
Ishta teases.
“No, just… aren’t we a little overdressed?”
You reply, glancing down at your outfit. Her red-bottoms are going to get ruined by the sticky floors, and your top is way too low-cut for a place like this.
Ishta smirks, giving you a look.
“You’ll be fine. Besides, if anyone stares for too long, the guys will probably scare them off— if they are anything like Johnny describes.”
And so, you step hesitantly into the grungy spot, thinking of what shitty liquor you need to get you through the night.
The bar is dim, louder than you expected, the scent of stale beer and fried food heavy in the air. Ishta leads the way with her usual confidence, weaving through the mismatched tables and chairs. You follow, heels catching on the sticky floor, your stomach tightening as she heads toward a table in the back.
That’s when you see it: the large black hoodie. The person wearing it is turned away, broad shoulders hunched slightly. Something about the way they hold themselves makes your chest tighten. You tell yourself it can’t possibly be him. The odds are ridiculous, almost laughable.
And yet, your feet falter.
Johnny spots Ishta first, lighting up with a grin so wide it makes his eyes crease at the corners, laughter lines deepening across his face. There’s a boyish enthusiasm in the way he waves her over, unrestrained and unabashed, like a pet spotting its owner after a long day apart.
You remember her mentioning once, in passing, that he was born the year of the dog. It’s funny how fitting that feels now. Loyal, eager, a little too earnest. He all but bounces out of his seat, the movement causing a ripple of attention to shift across the table.
The ridiculously pretty man seated next to him glances up first, his expression brightening with easy charm. Across from him, an older man with a beard you could only describe as unnecessarily dramatic turns and nods politely.
Then, the hoodie moves. Your stomach plummets.
Simon.
His expression is unreadable, but the sight of him freezes you in place, and before you realize it, you’re standing there looking like a deer caught in headlights. The rest of the table follows his gaze, looking at you with various degrees of curiosity.
Ishta grabs your arm.
“Oh my God. Girl, is that your man? What’s wrong? You can’t back away now!”
She says in a low voice, dragging you forward before you can recover.
“That is not my man,”
You hiss back, but it does nothing to stop her relentless pull.
Johnny grins as you both approach, his voice warm and thick with his accent.
“Almost scared her off, Ghost.”
Ghost?
Your eyes flick to Simon. His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t say a word.
Johnny, takes over the introductions.
“This is Simon. Don’t mind him, wasn’t properly socialized as a bairn.”
There’s some shifting around as the group makes room. To your dismay, Simon stays tucked into one side of the booth, leaving Kyle and Price to scoot out. They pull over chairs from a nearby empty table, and you find yourself awkwardly squeezed beside Simon while Ishta takes the seat across from you.
“Finally nice to put a name to the face.”
Ishta beams at Simon, and you can see the faint flicker of amusement in his eyes, though he doesn’t respond. She laughs when Johnny makes a confused face, giving a brief rundown to the table.
“She says you haven't seen each other since that incident.”
Ishta waves her glass in Simon's direction.
Simon leans back in his seat, mask still up.
“Avoids me like the plague, she does. Must’ve left quite the impression.”
Kyle snorts, leaning forward with an amused grin.
“That’s just his thing. Simon’s got a talent for being a nuisance, don’t you, mate? Knows exactly how to make people’s lives hell.”
“Only when they deserve it.”
Simon replies smoothly.
The table chuckles, but you stay quiet. His knee bumps yours under the table and you shoot him a sharp glance. He doesn’t even look your way, focused instead on swirling his drink he hasn't touched. You drink more than you probably should, hoping it’ll dull the awkwardness.
Thankfully, the rest of the table carries on without issue, their conversation flowing easily.
“Military, huh?”
You ask eventually, your voice quieter than intended.
Simon doesn’t look at you, but Johnny leans in with a grin.
“Yeah, we're stationed here for a while, so get used to seeing my handsome face around.”
The ease in his tone does little to settle the tension twisting in your chest. Simon doesn’t so much as flinch, remaining a stoic, unreadable presence. His silence feels deliberate, heavy, but Johnny’s brightness seems determined to lighten the mood.
“Maybe you’ll even get used to this one,”
Johnny adds playfully.
“Though I wouldn’t hold your breath. He’s got the personality of wet cement.”
That makes you laugh a little, along with the rest of the table. Younod toward Simon.
“So… Ghost. That’s a call sign?”
Simon hums, noncommittal, leaving Johnny to fill the silence.
“Wish I got something cool like that,”
Johnny says, shooting Simon a look that’s both teasing and fond.
“Guess he earned it, scary bastard.”
You glance at Simon again. His face gives nothing away.
Ishta leans over and whispers something into Johnny’s ear, her lips brushing against his ear with a playful familiarity. Whatever she says prompts a crooked grin to spread across his face, his blue eyes lighting up with mischief.
The two of them fall into their own little world, lovebirds whispering and laughing softly, entirely lost to anyone else at the table. Their giddy exchange contrasts sharply with the tension simmering between you and Simon.
You shift in your seat, feeling the press of his knee against yours again. It’s subtle, almost imperceptible, but the contact makes your pulse quicken. You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, wondering if it’s intentional. If he notices your reaction, he doesn’t show it.
Across the table, Price and Kyle keep the conversation flowing, their camaraderie effortless. You envy the ease they seem to find in this dynamic, the sense of belonging that eludes you in this moment.
Eventually, you decide to call it a night.
“Think I’ll head out, guys.”
You say, grabbing your bag. You glance toward Ishta, but she’s too busy twirling a strand of Johnny’s hair between her fingers, practically sitting in his lap.
Kyle stands, reaching for his jacket.
“Want me to walk you home, love?”
Before you can answer, Price butts in.
“Think Simon’s closer. Said you're neighbors, right?”
Your mouth goes dry.
“Oh, uh. Yeah.”
“He'll take you home. Don't need Kyle chasing up your dress.”
Simon finally looks at you, dark eyes unreadable. Without another word, he gets up.
***
The train ride back is painfully silent, tension coiling thick between you. Simon doesn’t make small talk, doesn’t fill the awkward space with meaningless words, and you can’t decide if you’re grateful or annoyed.
When you finally reach your apartment, you stop at the door, fumbling with your keys. You unlock it and step inside, turning to offer a polite, “Goodnight.”
Before you can close the door, Simon’s boot wedges into the frame.
“No kiss goodnight?”
He murmurs, pulling down his mask, voice low.
“Do you always have to be like this?”
You mumble, leaning forward and tilting your head up.
“You like it.”
He replies, pressing his scarred lips against your glossed ones.
The kiss lingers in your mind longer than it lasts, the warmth still spreading through your limbs. He pulls away, slipping his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. You stand with the door still open,
“Ok, well, goodnigh-”
“Not gonna invite me in for a drink?”
The way he says it—like he’s giving you the option, but he knows exactly how this game goes—brings a rush of heat to your cheeks.You hesitate for a moment, the weight of the night pressing down on you, but it hits you then—you’ve been waiting for him to make this move. Simon knows exactly how to push just enough, always teetering on the line between being too much and just enough.
You tilt your head, playing the game, your voice teasing.
“I don’t believe in letting strangers into my place, Ghost.”
His jaw tightens at the name, a flash of something flickering behind his eyes, but he recovers quickly, scanning your face with a quiet intensity.
“Hit your head, angel? The name’s Simon, remember?”
“Hmm,”
You cock your head, a playful smirk curling on your lips as you tease,
“Hmm, doesn’t ring a bell, sorry.”
Simon’s expression shifts, eyes narrowing just a fraction as his lips curl into a grin.
“No? Thought you’d remember it with how many times you say it when I’ve got you bent over that couch.”
“Simon!”
You gasp with a smile.
“Glad to see your memories back, love. Had me worried there for a moment.”
His voice drips with smug satisfaction, fingers creeping around your waist as you step backward into your apartment. His movements mirror yours, closing the distance, the same familiar rhythm between you two. Except this time, the dance ends in your bed, bathed in silvery moonlight that filters through the windows, casting shadows and soft glimmers over the room.
What he says to you in that space, the things he says are as depraved as they are tender, sinful words laced with something softer, gentler. And in that moment, you realize they’re the sweetest things Simon is capable of offering.
Lying on his chest, you let your thoughts drift, his sparse chest hair tickling the side of your face. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat drums against your ear as your fingers trace lazy circles on his skin. His hand mirrors yours, gently skimming the small of your back in slow, soothing motions.
You enjoy these moments just aas much as the more heated ones—maybe more. They feel almost domestic, like peeking through the keyhole of something you tell yourself you can’t have. But for now, it’s enough. It fills that quiet loneliness you feel some days.
Simon presses a soft kiss to the crown of your head, his lips lingering there for a beat longer than you expect. It feels like him savoring the closeness he so rarely allows himself.
“Mind if I sleep here tonight?”
His voice low and casual.
Your body goes stiff before you can stop it, and his hand on your back stills.
“Oh,”
You say, forcing a laugh that cracks at the edges.
“Didn’t think you’d grown tired of your bachelor setup. What happened? Mattress on the floor finally giving up on you?”
Simon hums, unbothered, his fingers resuming their lazy path.
“Figured I’d upgrade. You offering?”
Your heart stutters in your chest, and you sit up quickly, putting a small but deliberate distance between you.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He doesn’t move, watching you with hooded eyes, his expression calm, unreadable.
“Why not? Thought we were comfortable now.”
His tone is deceptively light, but you can hear the challenge beneath it.
“I don’t sleep well with someone else in the bed,” You say, crossing your arms, covering your bare chest.
“It’s just a thing—I’m used to having my space.”
“Space, huh?”
He sits up and leans back against the wall, hands clasped behind his head, looking entirely too at ease.
“Didn’t seem to need space a few minutes ago, angel.”
You frown, heat rising to your face.
“That’s different. Sleeping is… it’s personal.”
He smirks, tilting his head slightly.
“And what we just did isn’t?”
You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to keep your irritation in check.
“You know what I mean, Simon.”
“Not sure I do,”
His tone is playful, but there’s a stubborn edge to it now.
“Seems to me like you’re just makin’ excuses.”
“I’m not.”
The words come out sharper than you intended. You sigh, running a hand through his short hair, an apology of sorts.
“It’s just… I’m not ready for that.”
“A lil sleepover?”
He tilts his head. Before you can respond, he grabs your face with one hand, his fingers pressing against your cheeks to make your lips pout.
You yank your head away, sucking your teeth in frustration.
“You’re impossible.”
He grins, leaning back against the wall like he’s won something.
“Am I? Or are you just makin’ this harder than it needs to be?”
“Simon,”
You snap,
“It’s not about being hard or easy. It’s about boundaries. Respecting them.”
“Boundaries?”
He raises an eyebrow, the smirk slipping just slightly.
“Since when have we had those?”
Never, you think to yourself. It's a little distressing if you think about it too long, letting a man have such sway on you.
He pulls you closer, his thick arms wrapping around you with an ease that feels as natural as it is intrusive. You don’t resist, though. Instead, your fingers trace the inked lines on his forearm, a distraction, an excuse not to look him in the eye.
“Think you got one more in you?”
His voice is low, dipping into something softer, coaxing.
“I’ll be out your hair after that.”
You can’t help the faint smile that tugs at your lips, even though you hate yourself for giving in so easily. It’s always like this with him—pushing, pulling, finding that sliver of space where you’re weak enough to let him in.
“Yeah,”
You murmur, leaning just slightly into his touch,
“Think I do.”
His lips curve into a grin, satisfied, but he doesn’t say anything more. Instead, he pulls you into his lap. And just like always, he gets exactly what he wants.
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#he never got spoiled as a child so if you give him an inch he will take a mile#a rose in Harlem#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley x y/n#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon ghost x you#simon ghost x reader#ghost x y/n#ghost x you#ghost x reader
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Ruin ramble because writing his pov is interesting
Do you ever notice that Ruin gets really self depreciative about himself sometimes? (Maybe not quite self depreciative, but highlighting things about himself.) Implying vulnerability in a way that can almost come off as a joke if it weren't for his tone of voice. He says he hasn't been safe in a long time, it would be nice to sleep for once, wouldn't his death be hilarious? It comes off as a cry for help, but he states it as fact, he's convinced it won't change.
He's very stubborn about what he's done. He had nothing left to lose. No, there was absolutely no other way he could've gone about destroying the creator, he'd spent years considering his options. Yes, Solar was collateral, unfortunate. Those lives were a necessary sacrifice. He had to do it. There was no other way.
To him, he chose the lesser amount of people in the trolley problem. That was the morally correct thing to do in the circumstances he was given, lives would have been taken either way. He had to do it. (He could've walked away from the lever that switched the rails, but that would be the self serving option, wouldn't it? To move on?)
The most interesting part about it to me is, why does Ruin keep on going? All he's known is pain and suffering in some shape or another, he had nothing to live for after his goal was completed. All he'd ever known was bad, bad, bad, vindictive release, a little bit more bad, and then nothing. He was ready to die, he didn't know where to go.
Then came along this new dimension, one he'd apparently accidentally created through his actions. For someone who has nothing to gain or lose, wouldn't this be a nice chance of pace? To look forward to something nice that was more or less your responsibility in a weird way, to cultivate something good for once after a life of bad? To be able to take the place of your abuser, break that cycle? This new dimension is his reason to keep going, he will see this one good thing through if he can help it. Even if he isn't particularly liked by his migrated peers.
But he still isn't secure. There are enemies he'd made, the insurmountable weight of lives on his shoulders, and a new uncertain freedom of identity. (Granted, he still has to lie to some people to get by. I more mean his own Creator, the Virus act, and Nexus + Dark Sun here. Ruin having to strike deals and bargain for his life and act against his own morals to survive. But those are gone. When had Ruin last acted like himself, truly? He had barely been able to define himself as an Eclipse before everything bad happened.)
Does Ruin hate himself? I don't know, he's very adamant about hating what he had to do, but would do it again. He believes he was right, he's even defensive about it to several people, but there is still something that's bothering him. Does he hate himself for pressing the red button? Dunno. Maybe subconsciously. He's clearly meant to parallel Puppet with how he is now, they're the same words in different font. Ruin pulled the lever to kill the smaller amount of strangers to save the greater amount of strangers. Puppet was inside the train that killed everyone she knew. She wants to repent, Ruin hasn't shown much interest in it. Does a selfless act require repentance?
I like to think he has a bit of a dissociation issue, he compartmentalizes things if you squint, a possible coping mechanism of something called cognitive dissonance (a disturbance that happens when your actions do not align with your morals/values.) He was right for what he did. What he did was bad. What he did was necessary. He deserves his fate. He doesn't like pain. There's some contradicting statements there, he'd have to separate some things into neat little boxes in order for it to make sense in his head, so he didn't torture himself thinking about what that said about himself and his values. What he did was right and necessary. What he did was bad and he deserves his fate. He doesn't like pain. Still contradictory a bit, but a little more organized. If he focused on the positive box more than the negative box, he can feel better about himself, but he's painfully aware of the negative box' existence. Maybe he avoids looking at the negative box at all times and ignores the contents, but what's inside is so over accumulated that it can't help but be constantly present and occasionally overflow in those matter-of-fact cries for help. A lotta PTSD can fit in this bad boy (pats ruin on the head)
Does that make sense? I don't know, I feel like a therapist trying to write from his point of view. What is wrong with this little british guy.
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The Exit Strategy – Part 1
Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there's one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.
Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader
Warnings: +18, language, mystery, a tinge of angst, humor & brotherly banter, one tiny surprise 🤓
Word Count: 5.8k
A/N: Happy holidays, guys! Enjoy 🎄❤️
Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Tag List
Part 1: This Is Not a Pipe
The heavy truck door slammed shut behind him as Russell slid into the passenger seat with an exhaustive sigh. Colter’s big pickup was parked right next to his beautiful Chevelle in that same old motel parking lot in Virginia.
Russell hadn’t moved – yet. Well, sort of. He’d been away on assignment in some frosty region for a couple of weeks. He wasn’t allowed to say where exactly he’d been, and he knew better than to put it into writing, so let’s just agree he was at the North Pole looking for Santa Claus.
He could’ve ended up anywhere he wanted once he touched ground in the States again, but a very appreciated phone call from a former colleague made the decision for him. Besides, Russell knew this particular motel well. The coffee was more than decent and got the job done, the owner and employees were nice, comforting, and, most of all, trustworthy, and there were always fresh towels.
“Extra fluffy for you, Mr. Russell,” Rosa, the maid, would say every morning with the brightest smile.
Oh, and they had a hot tub in the back…
“Thanks for coming, man,” Russell extended his greeting without glancing at his younger brother once. He could feel Colter’s scrutinizing eyes on him, though, drilling for answers. Granted, his request had been rather unusual, so Russell understood where his younger brother’s ever-frozen furrowed brow stemmed from.
Providing answers didn’t come easy for the older Shaw, however. In fact, it had always been sort of a problem for him – even in the past. Especially in the past. Russell never lied, but he did omit things. Important things. On purpose.
“Yeah, uh, sure,” Colter replied with a polite smile as he started the car and rolled out of the lot.
Ah, yes, politeness…
That was what they were at, although it was progressively improving. It was only the third time the brothers were seeing each other since they had reconnected. And while the last two encounters had given the Shaws some well-needed time to talk things out and build trust, Colter was still naturally wary of his estranged sibling. As was Russell.
“So, what’s this about? You were pretty vague on the phone. You in trouble?”
That finally caught Russell’s full attention. He quickly shook his head, causing his hair to fall into his face. “What? No! No… No trouble,” he swiftly assuaged his brother with a dismissive hand gesture and a lighthearted chuckle. “Just need your help tracking down an old friend of mine, is all.”
Colter quirked an eyebrow at that. “Another Army buddy of yours?”
“Uh, something like that, yeah,” Russell replied rather mysteriously and didn’t even try to conceal the fact that he was hiding something more behind his ambiguous answer. But Colter only intensified his stare at him and wouldn’t let go that easily. Russell knew that. After all, they were related.
Persistence was a Shaw family trait. Another survival skill, if you will.
But this time, Russell wasn’t hiding a big government secret (or maybe he was). No lives depended on this particular mission (or so he thought). He wasn’t protecting a client, a company, or even his dubious employer (but someone else). He wasn’t choked by an NDA or about to save someone in grave danger (as far as he knew).
No, if anything, it was the fact that Russell didn’t know how much he could or should share with his brother. They were related, yes. But, technically, they hadn’t seen each other in decades, so they weren’t just considered merely estranged but strangers. Russell had always been aware of that fact, and Colter was beginning to catch on.
Especially during this mission.
See, once upon a time, the two hadn’t been just brothers. After moving to the cabin, societal contacts became scarce for the siblings. All they had was them. They were friends. Best friends. Always competitive, but friends nonetheless.
How much did they really know about each other now, though? How much of the old was still there?
“So, who are we looking for? What’s the guy’s name?” Colter asked, suddenly eager as he jumped into gear. He had always been restless, even as a kid, which fondly reminded Russell of their childhood.
But how much was he still the Russell that Colter once knew?
Well, Russell, on the other hand, remained calm and ruffled a casual hand through his beard. “Well, she’s, uh–”
Eyebrow cocked, Colter snapped his head to the passenger seat where his brother started to squirm. “Oh… Oh, so it’s a she,” he emphasized with a small grin. “Now I think I get it.”
There it is. I knew it, Russell thought with an internal sigh. In order for this mission to work, he knew he had to reveal some things. Private things. Things about himself and his life. Going in, Russell knew he couldn’t ask Colter for help without giving him something.
Their father had loved tests (and so did you – but that’s another story…). Russell always thought it had been the professor in him. So, Russell saw this as a test as well.
Could he trust Colter? And more pressingly, considering some long held accusations of murder, did Colter trust him?
A clear of Russell’s throat cut right through Colter’s chuckle. And then, the eldest tried his best to give no reaction at all. “Yes, she’s a… woman, but hold your horses. It’s not what you think, okay?” Colter lifted his eyebrow once more, causing Russell to heave another exhaustive sigh. “Fine, alright? It’s exactly what you think.”
Well, close enough, Russell thought. He knew Colter couldn’t even possibly imagine the reality in his wildest dreams.
Usually, Russell was an expert in avoiding uncomfortable questions. He was a pro at ditching answers and keeping secrets, even under torture and duress. However, there was just something entirely unique about dodging questions posed by little brothers.
And Russell saw it as a perfect bonding opportunity. He wanted to fill the chasm between them that their father’s death had caused – once and for all. But he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t walking around on eggshells most of the time – something that reminded him of you again.
Learning from past mistakes, Russell wanted Colter to experience the fun side of him. The one that brewed his own beer, cared too much about his car, and had weird tastes in food. He chose to leave out the rest – the dark stuff and the very best stuff, too.
After all, Russell was good at omitting things.
Colter chuckled triumphantly. “Does this mean you’re finally giving up on Reenie?”
Amused, Russell let out a snort. “Ha! You wish… First things first, alright? Let’s just see how this thing pans out. It’s kind of a long shot. You know that exit plan I told you about?”
“Yeah, you wanna open your own brewery, right?”
“Yeah, well, let’s just say in an ideal world this, uh, woman would be part of that exit,” Russell said and sounded purposely casual as if he didn’t care the mission was successful or not in the end, omitting yet another thing – he did care.
He cared a fucking lot.
“Really? Okay.” Colter scratched his jaw and gave his words some thought. Then he offered a small, yet kind, smile. Honestly, Russell didn’t know what he had expected. “But, you know, if you want me to find the future Mrs. Shaw, I’m gonna need more information to go on. A name, last address, or a-, uh, a picture, maybe?”
“Well, name’s not gonna help you much in this case.” Your first name might’ve been shareable intel, but your last name was of the highest classification. “Her last address that I know of was in Berlin. And while I do have one photo of her, it’s not meant for your eyes, brother,” Russell said with a firmly territorial look that still carried a mischievous twinkle, revealing the exact nature of the photograph to be indeed inappropriate.
Russell had one naughty photo, yes. But he had a whole giant box of others, too.
Colter’s eyebrows met above his nose as he licked his lips. Customarily, people gave him more details when they needed him to find someone. But then again, those people usually weren’t his brother. “Do you know anything about this woman? How long have you two dated?”
“Uhm… not that long,” Russell supplied with a clear of his throat before mumbling the rest of his answer, hoping his beard would swallow most of his words. “Ten years. Give or take…”
What is time anyway if nothing but a concept, right?
Colter blinked at him and almost steered the vehicle off-road before gripping the wheel a little tighter. “I’m sorry… Did you just say ten years?”
“Well, might be more like twelve,” he admitted finally. “Well, anyways, saw her last three years ago.”
“Wow, okay, uhm…” Colter became quiet for a moment, speechless probably, the tiny bits of information running on a loop through his mind. He figured his brother still had lived a life while they hadn’t been speaking. Of course he had. He just never thought about what that life might have entailed, aside from classified military operations. “So, you’ve dated a woman for twelve years…”
“Fourteen.”
“…haven’t seen her in three, and know basically nothing about her?”
Russell snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I know. Ridiculous… Not even sure the name she did give me was her real one,” he said. It was a joke. He did know the name. He knew everything there was to know about you. So, maybe he did lie – sometimes. “But it’s the job, you know? It’s-, uh, it’s complicated.”
That part was true. Truer than he could ever possibly describe in words.
“I guess so…” Colter sighed, and Russell could hear the growing frustration. “So, she does what you do?”
Russell nodded. “In a way, yeah…” And Colter knew what that answer meant – he couldn’t say more. Again. “But don’t worry. We won’t have to turn over every stone on the face of this planet. I have a general idea of where she lives these days,” Russell provided. “One of my, uh, associates was working a job with her not that long ago. That’s how I found out she’s back in the States.”
Colter nodded in acceptance, knowing it was no use to try and prod more answers out of his brother. “Alright. Guess that’s something. So, where are we headed to?”
Russell then flashed him a grin with newfound determination sparkling in his green eyes. “Falls Church.”
The short drive had remained quiet for the most part. Colter refrained from asking more questions, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get straight answers out of his older brother in one form or the other. To accentuate Colter’s assumption of receiving non-answers, Russell mostly stared out the window with an intensity that had Colter believe his brother was counting trees when, in fact, Russell was pondering what he would, could, or should tell Colter.
Of course, Colter could also always ask more questions about their elusive father, but he didn’t do that either. Sure, one could say he was curious. More than that even.
What did Russell really know about his death? Their mother? Their family? Their work?
Another time, he kept telling himself throughout whenever he stole glances at his long-lost sibling. It was too soon. What was the point when Russell was so clearly reluctant to share anything at all?
Thus, there was nothing left but silence among peaceful woods and dense foliage till Colter pulled his truck over curbside in the idyllic town center of Falls Church.
Patiently, he waited a moment for Russell to open the floor and tell them their next logical steps. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, blew raspberries, clicked his tongue, and waited and waited and waited…
Nothing.
If Colter didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought someone carved a lifeless wax statue out of his brother and planted it on his passenger seat. Russell’s entire body stood motionless, only a set of green eyes flickered alive every once in a while and swayed out the windshield in search of something – or someone.
“So, what’s the plan here?” Colter asked with a clear of his throat. “You just wanna stay here and wait till she accidentally runs across the street?” It was meant as a joke, but to Colter’s dismay, Russell remained dead serious.
“That’s exactly what we’re doing,” the older Shaw confirmed and squinted his eyes at the busy street. Again, he had omitted a few things. In his mind, Colter didn’t need to know why Russell knew to be in front of the post office at exactly 15:03 (UTC–4) on a Tuesday.
Colter snorted a laugh. “What? C’mon, that can’t be the plan… Do you know how many people live in Falls Church? Or in the general Washington metropolitan area? We could be here for days. Weeks even…” The younger Shaw then switched fully into work mode, grabbing his phone from the Bluetooth car mount. “We’re never gonna find her like this. You got a phone number, maybe?” But before Russell could answer, Colter replied himself, shaking his head at his own silliness. “What am I even asking? Of course you don’t.”
Russell only smirked at that. Restless, he thought again.
“What about an old one? Maybe even that would help. I could call Bobby, Reenie… You got anything? Nothing?” But the younger Shaw’s questions apparently stumbled upon deaf ears. “Russell? Russ? Are you even listening to me? I’m trying to help you here. You could at least–”
“Found her!”
Russell almost jumped out of the car as his voice rang with sheer excitement. His heart was beating a mile a minute when his emerald eyes landed on the target. It felt like the very first time all over again.
Granted, the first meeting didn’t go so smoothly – there had definitely been some bumps (all on his part). Then again, he expected this next meeting to go a little roughly too (again, all on him).
“Wait, what?!”
Russell downright beamed. “Told you this would work.”
Colter only scoffed under his breath, the familiar competitiveness crawling back to the surface. “Yeah, well, beginner’s luck, okay?”
One boot had nearly touched asphalt before Russell remembered this wasn’t a situation that required him to storm in guns a-blazing – not even covert. Gentle hands, he reminded himself and swiftly closed the car door again, falling back into his seat. His lungs deflated.
Colter, on the other hand, was more confused than ever. “What-, uh, what are you doing?” Half-amused, his brow furrowed a bit more. “If you’ve found her, go talk to her. Where is she? Who is it?”
Curiosity could only be contained for so long. Colter wanted to know who had been a part of his brother’s life for almost as long as he had. He felt this was a key piece of information that would cause the first domino to fall. And then, revelation after revelation about Russell’s past would unravel.
Basically, Colter was waiting for the big epiphany. No pressure.
Russell vehemently shook his head. “Can’t. At least not like this. I need more intel first. You need to find out her name, and then we need your guy Bobby to get onto this.”
And yet again, guess what? Yes, Russell was, indeed, omitting things.
“Me? Why me?” Colter blinked at him. Surprise, surprise…
“‘Cause, obviously, she’d recognize me,” Russell pointed out. Again, omission. Like he had explained earlier, it was a real problem…
Colter exhaled a deep sigh. “Okay, and I’m guessing you’re still not gonna tell me why we’re doing all of this, right?”
“Nope.”
“Yup, thought so.” Still not convinced, Colter narrowed his eyes at his clearly paranoid brother. Maybe paranoia ran in the family. Not to point fingers – he recognized it in himself, too. “Do we really need to go through all that trouble? I mean, you’ve known that woman for, what, fourteen years, you said? Isn’t that a little extreme… even for you?”
Fifteen, Russell corrected in his mind. Close to sixteen. Nineteen max.
“Just trust me, okay? It’s necessary,” Russell reassured, knowing those words bore some weight. Hurriedly (he was getting antsy – this was a time-sensitive issue), he pointed a finger out the window to the sidewalk across the street. “You see that woman walking into the post office? That’s her.”
“What, the brunette in the flowery dress with the golden cross necklace? That’s her?”
“Yup.”
“Wow, okay…” Surprised didn’t come close to explain how Colter felt. He had expected… different. His brow almost met his hairline, but he still tried his best to conceal his wonder – to no avail.
Suspiciously, Russell leaned back in his seat and assessed his brother’s demeanor with a small glare. “What?”
“Nothing.” Colter threw his hands up in surrender, swallowing. “Just… She doesn’t really seem like your type.”
Amused, Russell stifled a chuckle. “And what exactly do you think is my type, little brother?”
“I don’t know…”
“What, you think some nice Christian girl is too good for me?” Russell deadpanned. Admittedly, he enjoyed bantering with his little brother. It reminded him of what he had missed out on for years. This was what he had wanted and longed for since he had left the family at eighteen.
Well, “left” wasn’t really the right word for it now, was it? It implied a voluntary act, and his leaving wasn’t so voluntary.
“That is exactly what I’m saying,” Colter countered, laughing. “It’s just, you know… dental hygienist in a motel hot tub springs to mind.”
“Okay, alright… You done?” Russell huffed, shaking his head. He refrained from showing his honest amusement. “You’re gonna follow her in or not?”
“Alright, I’ll go,” Colter finally agreed somewhat enthusiastically and jumped out of the car, swiftly following the woman inside. After all, he was curiouser and curiouser…
Russell kept his eyes trained on his younger brother until Colter vanished inside the post office. Now, it was out of his hands, only hoping his little brother wouldn’t blow it. Chances were high he would. Not that Russell didn’t have some faith.
He just had more faith in you.
Colter spotted you picking up mail from a PO box and decided on a plan of action in a matter of seconds. After all, he was quick thinking on his feet and the best at what he did. That’s why he was here. That’s why Russell had picked him for the job, right?
As you made your way back to the door, Colter eloquently intercepted you without disturbing the crowd. Another thing he had learned from his father.
He bumped straight into your shoulder and almost tackled you to the ground by the sheer force of his sneak attack. The mail in your hands scattered to the tiled floor like autumn leaves, and as Colter bent down to help you pick it up, he took a peek at your name on a postcard.
“Oh my God, would you look at that… I’m so sorry, Miss–,” the younger Shaw apologized clumsily, “Nora Laurier.” He uttered your name with a suave smile as he handed you back your pile of letters. The flirt in his eyes, however, he only added for Russell as revenge for Reenie. “Beautiful name.”
Your hands lingered on the letters between you for a moment as you took in his features and tall stature. It left you with a strange haunting of familiarity.
“Thank you,” you finally said with a hint of a smile as he let go of the mail. “Be more careful next time.”
“I will. Sorry again.” Colter chuckled with blushed cheeks and watched you leave. He waited till you had passed the row of windows before exiting himself.
He was a good actor, too.
Antsy, Russell almost bit his lip bloody as he stared the post office down till a migraine began to form. God, what he wouldn’t pay for some X-ray vision and super-hearing. He could be downright Superman with that – and the hero always got the girl.
His heart dithered anew with longing as you walked out – it took his breath away. You always did that, and you did it well. But then, you stopped short for a mere second, which wouldn’t have caused a civilian to raise a single brow. But Russell did.
“Shit…” he mumbled in the silence of the truck and lowered himself down to the dashboard. He watched you reach for your phone in your purse and call someone as you headed down the street.
Eventually, you stopped three houses east and finished your call in the shade of a tree next to a busy (and noisy) bus station. Russell caught your eyes drifting back to the doors of the post office, though, just as his little brother walked out and jogged towards the car.
“Shit, shit, shit!” Russell ducked even further down, hitting his head in several places. “What did that knucklehead do?”
The driver’s door opened as Colter casually slipped inside. “Got a name,” he announced victoriously. Part of his happiness emanated from gathering yet another puzzle piece of his mysterious brother – meeting you. “She goes by Nora Laurier now… And she seems nice. Way too nice for you, actually…” As he drifted off, his eyes searched for the elder one before finding him almost kissing the floor mat. “Russ, uh… What-, uh, what are you doing down there?”
“What the hell did you do?” Russell’s tone was both snappy and frustrated.
“Whoa, what d’you mean what did I do?” Colter waved off defensively. “I did what you told me to do!”
“She made you!”
“She did not make me,” Colter brushed off with a laugh, quite confident of his own skill set. They’d had the same teacher. He would know if you had suspected anything.
“Then why did she wait and look after you, huh?” Russell pointed out in annoyance.
Colter’s lips itched to break a smile. He couldn’t help it. It was the perfect opportunity to teach his flirt of a brother a well-needed lesson. “Well, maybe I caught her eye… piqued her interest, you know?”
Russell cocked a brow from below, his stare lethal. “Did you flirt with her?”
Colter hesitated for a moment. Mostly for dramatic effect. “I-, uh… You told me to get her name. ‘Sides, I told you Reenie was off limits.”
“Oh, so this is about revenge? Very mature.” Russell frowned. “She still there?”
“Where?” Colter stretched himself a bit as he looked out the windshield.
“Tree. Bus station.”
An amused smile formed on Colter’s lips as he spotted you. “Oh, yeah. I see her. I don’t think she suspects anything. She’s not even loo-… No, uh, wait… Yup.”
“What?” Russell’s brows drew together as he rose a little from his crouched position.
“Yeah, she’s definitely looking over here.”
“Well, stop looking down,” Russell hissed through gritted teeth. After a deep breath, he spoke in a calmer, more advising tone, “Pretend I’m not here.”
“Trying to, trust me… Should I wave at her? Smile?”
“Are you nuts?! Just look ahead. Pretend you’re getting a phone call.”
Colter did as he was told and held his phone to his ear. “She’s still looking,” he informed with a pressed smile, barely moving his mouth when he spoke.
“Okay, what’s she doing now?”
“There’s a-, uh, there’s a car coming and pulling over by the bus station. Dark gray Audi A6. Virginia Plates. Yankee-Papa-Charlie-5824,” Colter said as Russell hauled a pen from his pocket and began to jot down the plate numbers on his left palm.
“Copy that.”
He’d memorize them anyway, but one could never be too safe. He could get a concussion in the next hour or so (most likely because of you), and then what?
“Okay, she’s getting in,” Colter narrated. “Driver’s in his late-thirties. Male. Glasses. Medium height. Medium build… I think you could take him,” he added with a teasing grin.
“Shut up,” Russell retorted. “Are they gone now?”
“Pulling away from the curb and… Yep, they’re gone. Headed south down the road,” Colter affirmed.
“Alright.” Russell popped back into his seat with a sigh and some sore muscles. He had been sure he’d heard a few bones crack while he’d been cowering down there. He might be finally getting too old for these missions. But that was part of the reason why he was here in the first place – retirement was calling. And Russell wanted to fill the chair next to him on the porch.
“You good?” Colter checked and choked the small laugh that wanted to escape upon the ruffled sight of his older brother.
“Yeah, go ahead and follow them. Just keep a low profile,” Russell instructed. “On our way, you might wanna call your op analyst, too. See what he can find out.”
“Alright,” Colter agreed somewhat reluctantly but still tailed the sedan. “You sure this is a good idea?”
“What d’you mean?” Russell said mindlessly, keeping his eyes focused on the target vehicle.
“Us… stalking your ex-girlfriend?” Colter noted with a cocked brow. “And her potentially new boyfriend?”
Russell only laughed at that. “We’re good. Trust me.”
Admittedly, though, a small part of him wondered (and worried) if this was all real. Maybe Nora Laurier wasn’t your real name, but it might be your actual new one – one you’d adopted as a safety precaution after you’d left it all behind. Maybe you had finally done it and retired, found a perfectly normal guy, and settled down – just without him.
Or:
Maybe you were still in the game, after all.
Russell was hoping it was the latter. Otherwise, he could probably expect a hefty restraining order in his future, but he wasn’t about to tell Colter that. Not until he knew for sure.
The Audi parked in front of an organic grocery store a few blocks down. Colter chose a spot across the parking lot, keeping a reasonable distance with the perfect view. Russell watched as you and Unnamed Man #1 sauntered into the store, an arm slung tightly around your waist and a smile on your face.
While on the phone with Bobby, Colter could tell that the sight of you in another man’s arms stung. “Okay, uh, thanks, Bobby.”
“What’d he say?” Russell fired as soon as Colter had removed the phone even just an inch from his ear.
“Uh, well, there’s some bad news,” Colter revealed hesitantly and licked his lips, not knowing how he was supposed to break his brother’s heart. “Bobby ran the plate number through the DMV. It’s registered to an Aiden Laurier.”
“Laurier?” Undeniably, Russell’s heart flinched at the connection. “Maybe a brother. Cousin…”
Or a colleague, Russell’s mind stubbornly added.
Colter bit his lower lip hard before he spoke, “They’ve been married for two years. I’m sorry, Russ.”
A hand comfortingly patted Russell’s shoulder. A part of him wanted to scream heavenward, but something else inside was gnawing on him.
He clicked his tongue. “No… No.” Sure, one could argue that denial was always the first step of grief. “No. No way she married sweater-vest John Mulaney over there.”
“I’m pretty sure she did. Bobby sent me the marriage certificate,” Colter countered and showed him the screenshot on his phone.
Russell glanced at it for a short second, not even bothering to waste more time on fake news. He shook his head. He knew better.
“Nah. I’m not buying it. You need to go in there and tell me what you see.” He sealed his words with an encouraging pat on the shoulder.
Colter exhaled deeply. “Russ, I-, uh, I think you need to let this go, man. You’re starting to… Never mind.”
“No. Go ahead. Say it,” Russell prompted with some thunder in his voice. “I’m reminding you of Dad, don’t I?”
Colter only twitched his shoulders. “I mean, yeah. A little.”
Russell’s head bobbed in thought before he met his little brother’s eyes. “You really don’t see it?”
“See what?”
“The post office, the road crew over there, the-, the fake documents?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“C’mon… Just think about everything Dad taught us, huh?”
Was Colter really not getting it? Russell found that quite hard to believe. He had known his little brother to be as sharp as a whip. While Russell didn’t always have the nicest things to say about their father, he could admit the old man had prepared them well for life. Well, one life at least. This one.
The nomad life, the odd jobs that required them to have a particular set of skills like Liam Neeson.
Colter shook his head. “I have no clue what you’re talking about, Russell.”
Russell let out a sigh and leaned back in his seat. “Alright, if you don’t see it, you don’t see it.” A smirk twitched in the corners of his lips. “It’s your funeral, brother…”
With narrowed eyes, Colter pursed his lips. “Alright, just tell me one thing, okay?”
“You know I can’t tell you anything,” Russell reiterated and brushed his beard.
“I know. I know… It’s not that kinda question,” the younger Shaw reassured.
“Go ahead,” Russell relented and curiously looked at his brother.
Within a second, Russell could think of a million questions Colter might want to ask him, but this hadn’t been one of them:
“In the past three years, how many times have you thought about her? And I don’t just mean ‘crossed your mind’ every couple of months. I mean ‘seriously thought’ about her?”
“Hmm.” Russell pondered for a moment before replying, “Every damn day.”
It wasn’t a lie, no omission of anything, and Colter could tell. You were the first thought that popped into Russell’s still groggy mind when he woke up and the last one every night that fluttered across his weary eyelids. Obviously, he didn’t give Colter the soppy answer, though.
“Fine. I’ll go,” Colter softened his stance. “You owe me,” he added with a pointed finger before setting foot outside the car.
“I do owe you. Anything you want, brother,” Russell agreed with a broad grin. “How about we start with a full case of my homebrew, huh?”
Colter danced gracefully through the aisles, spying through canned goods and boxes of cereal. He watched you carefully select fruit with your husband, move through the dairy talking about “organic” and “locally sourced” till you landed on a few choices of toothpaste and finally strolled to the cash register.
Everything seemed boringly normal and ordinary. You chatted with the cashier. They handed you a coupon, which you slipped into your purse. Your husband paid with his credit card (which carried the same name matching the DMV records), and both of you left the store with two paper bags in your arms.
Once through the sliding glass doors, you stopped and turned to your husband. “Darn, honey, I think we forgot the milk.”
“You want me to grab it?”
“No, I’ll do it.”
“Okay, I’ll wait by the car and load the rest of the groceries.”
Now, Colter found that odd. He had watched you spent at least five minutes in the dairy aisle. How could you forget something as basic as milk?
As you hushed inside, your husband sauntered back to the car, and Colter followed you back in. You passed right by the dairy and, with a few looks that resembled a scan of your surroundings, you slipped past the door that led to the restrooms.
Waiting a beat, Colter went in after you. But you were long gone – just not to the restroom. An ‘Employee Only’ door that led to a dumpster alley outside was just falling shut.
Granted, Colter had a bad feeling about this. It was the same feeling he always got shortly before walking into a trap. In his defense, though, you were not a seven-foot-tall, 300-pound kind of guy. He wasn’t about to be ambushed by Shaquille O’Neal, which is probably why Colter didn’t find it necessary to pull his gun.
In hindsight, he should have.
The narrow alley was quiet and empty, except for some trash littering the ground around the dumpsters. It was closed-off, too, wedged between buildings with no view to the parking lot or nearby streets.
And then, something hit him. Or better yet: You hit him. With an elbow to the face and a stiff, flat palm to his throat, Colter stumbled forward before you gave him the final blow and knocked him off balance, tackling him to the ground.
Pressing his cheek into the rough and unforgiving surface of the asphalt, you jumped on him and restrained his arms tightly behind his back. While he squirmed to get out of your hold, he didn’t use as much brutal force as you expected he would.
“Shit,” he muttered below you, his voice muffled by the gravel. A light chuckle escaped him. “Okay, you got me.”
“Sounds about right,” you agreed with a smirk and tightened your grip on his arm.
Then, Colter heard a gun click above him. Hoping to see his brother, he looked up – only to find your husband with a weapon in hand as he stared down the barrel.
“Ah, I think you broke my nose,” the younger Shaw mumbled with a groan.
“Good. You’ve been following me. Why?” you prompted sternly. “Who are you? Who are you working for? Jafari? Mueller?”
“Listen, I-I think you’ve got the wrong idea. I’m not who you think I am,” Colter argued with a strained voice. What the hell had Russell gotten him into? “This is just a big misunderstanding.”
“Uh-huh.” You could only roll your eyes at that. How many times had you heard that line before?
“Let’s hood him. Get him to the Market,” your partner suggested. “We’ll see if he talks then.”
“No, really,” Colter insisted, growing a bit more uneasy. He had no idea what the Market was, but it didn’t sound pleasant. “You know my brother.”
“Who’s your brother?” With your elbow, you put more pressure on his back.
“Ow, alright…” Colter groaned once more as the pain intensified. “Looks kinda like me. Think two decades younger. He was in the Army, so probably didn’t have long hair and a beard. Uh, kind… green eyes? No? Doesn’t ring a bell?”
Colter watched your brow furrow in his periphery as he squinted upwards. He could see the gears starting to turn in your head. You just needed one final push to put all the puzzle pieces together.
“If it helps, my name is Colter. Colter Sh–”
“Shaw,” you shot like a missile. Your jaw plummeted to the ground, your heart springing right out with it. Your grip on the man caught between your thighs loosened, hearing Colter’s sigh of relief before you heard his voice.
“Hiya, sweetheart.”
Your head darted up, the man beneath you long forgotten. You swallowed as your eyes landed on an all too familiar face – even when it was covered by a bunch of hair that had never been there before. The heart-crushing smile was still the same as if it had been ripped straight from an old photograph you had of him.
“Russell?!”
Part 2: This Is a Russell Mission – TOMORROW
Quite the entrance! Writing Russell reminded me somewhat of Plastic Hearts Dean (minus the addiction problems unless you count lying) because of all the wild overthinking 😂
If you enjoyed this story, then I'll gladly keep working on its prequel. Was a bit nervous to post this since I filled in some family history gaps myself 😅 I also dove into the books a little and added some things that kinda fit their "show" personalities.
Please let me know what you think and if you'd be interested in a young soldier!Russell series 😉🤍
TAGS:
Forevers: @alwaystiredandconfused @xlynnbbyx @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @blackcherrywhiskey
@deansbbyx @foxyjwls007 @ladysparkles78 @roseblue373 @zepskies
@agalliasi @yvonneeeee @hobby27 @iamsapphine @globetrotter28
@mxltifxnd0m @lacilou @feyresqueen @suckitands33 @onlyangel-444
@syrma-sensei @perpetualabsurdity @deans-baby-momma @yoobusgoobus @jessjad
@hunter-or-the-hunted @k-slla @just-levyy @mrsjenniferwinchester @illicithallways
@muhahaha303 @ultimatecin73 @nancymcl @leigh70 @brightlilith
@nesnejwritings @samslvrgirl @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @fromcaintodean @barewithme02
@thebiggerbear @star-yawnznn
@deansimpalababy
#the exit strategy#russell shaw#russell shaw x reader#russell shaw x you#russell shaw series#tracker#tracker cbs
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The Dreamers in House Targaryen
So, I finally did the Thing I once promised to do.
Below the cut is the complete famiily tree of House Targaryen, based on all the information currently available in all the published books. I also included the Blackfyre branch for the sake of completness.
Included a reference for what means what on this absolute monster of family tree. Also, for the sake of clarity, I did not include spouses unless they were also Targaryens or a child of a Targaryen.
House Targaryen pre-Conquest surprisingly includes only two confirmed Dreamers and none who could be suspected of having the gift.
Or maybe it's just the lack of the data (*glares at Valaena's mother*)
Daenys the Dreamer: self-explanatory. The most famous of Targaryen Dreamers and the one everyone wants to be like.
Aegon the Dragon: honestly, no surprise there. GRRM confirmed that Aegon's Dream from the show is also canon to the books. But even if he didn't, I would have marked Aegon as a suspected Dreamer - it was long theoretised that Targs came to Westeros because of a prophecy about the Doom of Men, so I could see the Conquest being kicked off by a Dream.
Now this is were it gets Interesting!
Alysanne Targaryen: there is an excelent analysis of Fire & Blood chapters on why Alysanne could be a Dreamer. One that apparently was missed by her relatives.
Viserys I Targaryen: so the thing is. Book!Viserys is never hinted at to have Dragon Dreams. Even in the show, he only had the one dream (of dubious authenticity). Hence, marked as show!only Dreamer.
The Greens!
Helaena Targaryen: Honestly, same deal as Viserys. Book!Helaena is never even hinted at as somebody who might be a Dreamer. So she's in blue and not red.
Now, Aemond's potential line might have produced something. If Alys actually had a living child. And if that line survived more than a generation.
Unfortunately, Lack of Data.
Honestly, once again we are dealing with Lack of Data on the Blacks and their descendants. Fire & Blood only takes us to the end of Regency, which is when Aegon the Younger turns sixteen. We have almost nothing after that as WoIaF is much less detailed on the family doings.
So if there was somebody with the gift, the fact did not make it into history.
Aegon IV's many, many bastards!
(even if some only suspected)
(or you know, not actually his)
Brynden Rivers (The Bloodraven): the only one with magical shit going on, and his is explicitly of the First Men variety.
(If we ever get Fire & Blood 2, I have some hopes for Shiera.)
The Blackfyres!
Daemon II Blackfyre: very explicit confirmation in The Mystery Knight, as he speaks of several Dreams he had over his life that came true.
Also, it's a colossal mess of a family tree with multiple branches having an uncertain fate. *eyeroll* And fans wonder why nobody believes in Varys' story about Young Griff.
Moving back to the main family, we finally get some confirmations that yes, Targs still produce Dreamers. Granted that seems to be confined to Maekar's branch
Daeron the Drunken: confirmed in The Hedge Knight and about as explicit as it gets.
Aemon Targaryen: as confirmed as it can be when we don't have his pov. But he says several things during aFfC that in hindsight are rather prophetic.
And here are our heroes!
Daenerys Stormborn: very explicitly has Dragon Dreams and waking visions at various points in the books.
Jon Snow: technically, we still don't have the confirmation that he's actually a Targaryen. But Jon does have a dream about figting Others at the Wall with a sword of fire, that is very similar to the Dream Dany has about fighting warriors of ice at the Trident.
Rhaegar Targaryen: marked him as a suspected Dreamer for the simple fact that it is hinted that he could see Dany when she was having her visions in House of the Undying.
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One of the problems I had with the online radicalization of Jalil in reunion is how it actually occurs. Jalil is supposedly radicalized by a message board, but it’s provided by alliance and the AI mascot he uses is Lila. So it’s left muddled on what exactly is happening here.
Is there really an internet based opposition to LB and CN? You wouldn’t think it since Paris enlarge is shown to still support them. But the presence of message boards would imply at least some support for monarch even if it’s mostly trolls. Or is alliance fabricating it for Gabriel to upset people in a targeted way? Or is it just Lila with a bunch of alt accounts? It’s really hard for me to tell just how wide spread this is as a problem for Paris considering it’s dropped after this one episode.
I'm also not sure how seriously we're supposed to take the criticism shown in that episode. It feels very much like the sort of BS we get with Su-Han where he points out a legitimate concern but in the most obnoxious, inflammatory way possible so that the audience feels forced to disagree with him. It's terrible writing that isn't very fun to watch. Reminds me of all the awful live-action Disney reboots that try to engage with every critical take anyone has ever had, leading to a lesser story. They would be much better off to just ignore the criticism they don't want to properly address and have fun with the story even if there's an arguable flaw. That's what suspension of disbelief is all about!
You want Paris to support Ladybug and Chat Noir no matter what they do? Cool! That works! Just don't take an episode and introduce the idea that there is actually criticism out there because that makes us start to question things like anon is doing here.
Another great example is the "issue" that Gabriel never uses the butterfly miraculous to heal his wife when it feels like that should be within its power. The show was totally correct to never address that on screen because the butterfly probably should be able to heal her! The reason it can't is because then the show would end. If the writers tried to explain an in-universe reason, then it would be as nonsensical as their explanation of how the rooster works:
Gabriel: There! (to Orikko) You! You can grant me any power I want! (closes the Grimoire and walks toward Orikko) You will give me the power to travel through time! Orikko: No, you're mistaken! Time travel is Fluff's power and I can't grant the power that already belongs to another Kwami! Gabriel: Are you trying to deceive me?? Orikko: (nods) By all means! Read the Grimoire again! (Gabriel reopens the Grimoire.) Sass: Each Kwami represents a concept, and a concept can only exist once in the universe. Xuppu: Too complicated, Sass! Let's use an example to make things simpler. Take Tikki, she is the Kwami of Creation, and creation is creation, and if there's another creation than creation, then it's not "creation", it's "replication"! Gabriel: Then grant me the power to locate Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous! Orikko: Trouble is, that's not a power; that's a wish! Xuppu: For instance, if I asked Santa for a pair of socks, that's a wish. But if I want Santa to grant me the power to knit socks, then it means Santa needs to know how to knit socks in the first place so he can teach me! Gabriel: (groans angrily) Grant me the power to unmask Ladybug and Cat Noir's secret identities! Xuppu: No can do! Orikko: (shoves Xuppu away) I cannot give a power that would disrupt another Kwami's magic. And being able to conceal the person behind the costume, well, that's part of the magic of their Kwami. Gabriel: (enraged) So you're utterly useless!
If all of this is true, then how do the goat and the peacock make things? Isn't that Creation? And how was the butterfly able to make a time travel villain? That's Fluff's power! And how was Gabriel able to offer to make Marinette into a villain who could unmask people via the butterfly? That's going against the miraculous' powers!
The answer is simply that the lore was not thought out in a way that stands up to even the most basic questions. When that's the case, the only way to handle the problem is to just ignore it. Keep your on screen explanations as shallow as your lore. Don't try to add depth that isn't there. Trying to address it just highlights how shitty your world building is.
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Depressive Christmas thoughts below that I will delete later.
Honestly, this Christmas was terrible.
People often say that Christmas loses its magic as we grow older, that adulthood takes away the joy. But for me, it’s never been like that. Christmas has always been special because it meant being surrounded by family, the familiar warmth and love we shared. But this year, Christmas just felt empty, and that’s because my grandpa’s no longer here.
It’s strange, because I’ve always known, deep down, that the elderly people we love won’t be with us forever. It’s a part of life, something we should accept. But for some reason, I never really let it sink in. In my mind, I convinced myself that my grandpa would always be around. And now, these months without him have felt like waking up from a dream—a dream where everything stayed the same, where he was still here, where he never really left us.
The silence where his voice used to fill the room is suffocating. I never realized how much of my life was anchored in the little things he did—how he always made everything feel like it would be okay. I took that for granted, assuming he’d always be there. But now, that familiar warmth is gone, leaving a cold emptiness behind.
These days, I find myself looking at old photos, remembering the sound of his footsteps, his voice, the way he’d sit in his favourite chair—reading, telling stories, or simply watching the world go by. It’s hard not to feel lost without him, like a piece of me is missing, a part of my life that will never be the same.
I can’t help but wonder if this is what growing up feels like—facing the truths we try so hard to avoid. The reality that people leave, that time moves forward whether we’re ready for it or not. I thought I understood that, but now, it feels like a lesson I’m only starting to learn. It’s strange how something so universal, so inevitable, can still hit so hard when it touches your life in such a harsh way.
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CHRISTMAS SPIRIT | SAGAU Childe
🍊 content: SAGAU! Childe x Reader
✦ content w: none! fluff or plain or smthn along that line. Though, I think you should read Birthdays | SAGAU! Childe first before this for context igs.
It’s been a few months since Childe was acting weird in the game.
At first, you thought it was just your game lagging—with Childe just abruptly stopping in the middle of a run, or when you’re using another character and for some reason Childe switches in.
But it happened a little too often after a while.
Everytime you’d try to use another character, he would either switch with them out of the blue or the entire game would freeze.
Maybe your phone was being faulty, or the storage was at its maximum capacity (archons, you hoped not).
Whatever your reasons were, it had all been thrown out of the window on the day before Christmas.
It started out like any other day for you—no work or classes, just another day to grind in the game again (and another day to appreciate Childe ofc). You figured you could still play the game despite all the problems you’ve encountered so far, since those weren’t gonna stop you anyway.
While fighting the Pyro Regisvine with Childe, your screen suddenly freezes and glitches for a moment before the fight continues.
Wait…
Continues???
You watch, completely dumbfounded as Childe moves on his own. You try to tap on any of the icons but it doesn’t work—it’s like he was alive and conscious as he fought the large boss plant.
What surprises you even more so was the fact that he transformed… into Foul Legacy…? You rubbed your eyes, hoping that maybe you were just tired or maybe even dreaming.
After the fight was done, Childe settled in place, still in his Foul Legacy form as the Regisvine falls to the ground. He turns around, his attention seemingly focused on you before the screen turned black.
You take in the first few moments of silence, thinking what was that just now—like, no seriously, what just happened?
Reaching out to your device, you began to make an attempt to turn in back on again, but nothing happens. You sighed, scratching the back of your head as you wondered what you were going to do now.
You figured you could go celebrate Christmas—that’s no fun, you’d hate to celebrate Christmas by yourself, you’d rather spend the day grinding for primos or something.
Well, not like you had a choice anymore. After all, your device was broken—playing Genshin Impact was no longer an option at the moment. Begrudgingly, you began to decorate your room a bit.
You started with a small, white Christmas tree you found somewhere in the storage room, adding a few decorations and lights to its leaves—making sure that it wasn’t too much or too bare.
After that you just added a few more things here and there to the room, lights and all that to make the atmosphere a bit more festive and warmer than it usually is.
Once you finished, you take a step back, sitting on a nearby chair as you pondered what to do next.
Out of pure randomness you just decided to bake some cookies instead—it would keep you busy for the remaining hours of the day, and maybe Santa would even grant you a wish if you leave some out for him.
No, you never really believed in Santa, but anyways-
You baked some classic chocolate chipped cookies, and neatly arranged them on a plate before placing it on the desk inside your room.
You partnered the cookies with a glass of milk, and a shot glass of vodka because why not? it was yours to drink in the morning anyway—at least, that’s what you thought.
You do a few more other things to tire yourself out before heading to bed, kissing your hydro slime and Childe plushies goodnight—hoping that by tomorrow your device is back to normal, and that what happened earlier was just a random glitch.
Eventually, you fell asleep, at a much earlier time than you usually do.
Meanwhile, when the screen turned black, Childe had noticed since your face had disappeared, and he couldn’t hear you anymore either.
He’s been trying to communicate with you or even move freely on his own—to show you that he’s conscious. But doing so was messing up the boundaries that keep you two separated (aka the device).
He turns back to his normal self, the after effects of Foul Legacy weighed down on his physical body a bit when he does so.
He steadies himself, as he wishes to himself again that he wants to see you.
Not just through the screen—he wants to meet you, physically. He thinks that by doing so he may be able to sort his conflicting emotions out, which have been growing by the day for some reason.
It amuses him in a way. How much you like him despite his nature, how he came to be who he is now, and despite knowing what he does.
You just like him as he is, and it was very unlike him to be swayed by it.
It was unlike of him to reread the letters that you sent to him, to look forward to his birthday every year—hell, to look forward everyday whenever you come online.
He keeps telling himself, that he could never feel the same way as you do. Being worlds apart only meant that it was futile to even entertain the idea.
But he somehow dislikes it when you use other characters, whether it was to buff his damage or to heal him, he just disliked it.
So, while picking up the rewards from defeating the Pyro Regisvine, he unconsciously finds himself wishing to meet you, even if it was just for a moment.
He sighs for a moment, closing his eyes and folding his arms, contemplating about something. When he opens his eyes once more, he immediately makes a double take.
He’s suddenly in a different room. He feels different too, he doesn’t know how or why, but he just does.
He looks down on himself for a moment, checking if there were any changes. A small, red and white hat falls from his head and onto the floor when he does, catching his attention.
He crouches down for a moment to pick it up. Once it was in his hands he inspects it—triangular in shape with a white ball at the top. He decides to hold onto it for now before looking around the room.
The place looks comfy, and warm and soft. It was definitely much different from his own room—with a lot of stringed lights, and a snowy…
A fake, snowy tree with a few decorations.
The design wasn’t overwhelmingly festive, it was just right for whatever ocassion the owner of the room prepared for.
He remembers that you had mention something about this in one of the letters you’ve written to him on his birthday. Merry Christmas was it? It was something about gifts and presents, though he’s not entirely sure.
He takes a few steps around the room, wondering how he got here—maybe the work of an Abyss Mage? He shakes the idea away, sitting down by the edge of what he thought was an empty bed.
As he places his hand behind him, he pauses as he felt the curve of a leg. His head turns, finally noticing you who was almost drowned by the covers, and surrounded by soft materials that resembled him and some hydro slimes.
Oh.
Oh.
He was frozen in place as it registered to him, his thoughts were suddenly racing, with an odd rhythm and pulse coming from his chest.
He was excited.
It wasn’t the same excitement that came from battling enemies, or fighting with strong people.
No, this was entirely different. It was like he was thrilled to see you, to meet you, face to face without any barriers or boundaries for the first time.
“Comrade?” He speaks, his voice is quiet—almost afraid to wake you when you looked so peaceful in your sleep.
But he also wanted to wake you up, and ask for your name.
He squints his eyes and gets off from the bed. He feels weird staying in such close proximity to you.
He walks over to your nearby desk, deciding to check out some of your stuff. He wanted to investigate—unable to help his habits as a Fatui harbinger.
Seeing a plate of cookies, a glass of milk, and a shot of alcohol on the desk, he was left rather confused and intrigued. What on earth were you up to?
Against his better judgement, he picks up one cookie and examines it. It looks good.
It doesn’t seem to be poisoned. So, there’s no harm in trying them, right?
Before he knew it, he’s eaten about half of the cookies, a fourth of the glass of milk, and took the shot of alcohol—which was much to his liking.
He comes back to you, sitting by the edge of the bed once more as his eyes watch how you snuggle with the toy that resembled him.
“You really love me that much, huh comrade?” He speaks to himself before scoffing quietly in amusement.
He tries to sort out his feelings as he just stares at you.
It’ll pass.
He was quiet for a long while, sitting still beside your sleeping figure. After a few moments he finally lets out a sigh, telling himself that he’ll think it through another time.
It’s not love.
He tells himself again, firmly believing it as he takes out the red and white hat from earlier.
He reaches out to the toy version of himself, carefully placing the hat on top of it as to not wake you up.
Seconds after doing so, he immediately finds himself falling to the familiar ground of Teyvat.
He groans as he stands up, clearly annoyed of what just happened. He scratches the back of his head, clearly confused how he got sent back to Teyvat in such a manner.
“Huh… I didn’t get the chance to say Merry Christmas.”
✦ it’s been a while since I’ve written anything, so this is a bit rough, also a bit rushed? idk, it’s not that great *sad noises*
✦ late Christmas / holiday fic for everyone, sincerely from ur favorite trash writer
✦ I love him sm, can I cry-
✦ not lore accurate Childe, don’t come at me
✦ lots of grammar mistakes, don’t mind it pls
#childe#ajax#tartaglia#genshin impact ajax#genshin impact childe#tartaglia genshin impact#genshin impact#SAGAU#self aware genshin#self aware genshin alternate universe#christmas#late christmas writings#tartaglia x reader#childe x reader#fluff#angst? idk#idk how to categorize this
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Just finished the second one after a bit of a holiday delay. And you know what? It was a bit better! You can tell the author found her groove writing the main 3's dynamic, though I have some issues that I'll get into.
Jinafire and Skelita feature in this one, though their roles are very small and they pretty immediately fall into the antagonists control (seemingly) Toralei does show up, and just like Cleo, she sucks! The author wrote the two of them so horribly, and I think it's such a shame cuz mean girl characters can be very fun, and I think in the other medias the two of them are.
Speaking of mean girls...Venus kinda is one! There were so many instances of her being rude, and being attitudinal kinda seems like her main personality trait. She'd say something out of pocket to someone, and then get mad when they handed that energy back to her, it was kinda infuriating.
Unfortunately Rochelle went right back to being annoying as well. She's written to be blunt and take things very literally, to the point where she comes across as pretty insensitive a lot of times, but it's explained away as being a "gargoyle thing". Maybe it would be a little less bothersome if she wasn't also super condescending at times, especially with how she constantly corrects others. It was also established in the first chapter that she and Garrott broke up at some point, so now her crush on Deuce is considered slightly less problematic.
Robecca was okay in this one. She said "bees knees" a lot less, thankfully. The story also started to touch on the disappearance of her father, who in this story was fully normie, as well as Robecca's sensitivity on the subject. Her love interest Cy was all around lame and useless in this story, which is kind of a shame since he worked with the main 3 a lot in the first book, and they had a decent-ish dynamic. (He's also written to be a bit of a creep....he's always following Robecca around without her knowing. Granted when he does he normally comes to her rescue in some way but still...its weird.)
Overall though, the thing that bugs me about the narrative is that it seems like it hinges on everyone in the school being stupider than the main 3. Everyone but them got brainwashed in the first book, everyone but them trusts the lady who brainwashed them in the first place. Like come on...if this was a MH movie or webisode, Ghoulia would have figured everything out behind the scenes during a side plot. If they really wanted to make it believable, they'd have had her get kidnapped at the end instead of Headmistress Bloodgood.
Oh but the illustrations is this one were delicious! I got so excited to see each one at the start of the chapters, and the chapters in this one were shorter than the first so there were a lot more. We got to see a bunch of other characters aside from the main 3, and it was such a treat! Really makes getting through these a bit less of a slog.
I'm like halfway through the first Ghoulfriends book and main three are so annoying. I'm hoping it's like a character flaw thing, where they'll recognize it and get better over the course of the series, but oof. Gitty did these ghouls so wrong.
They're beefing with Cleo for no reason...Venus flipped out on her out of nowhere (in the middle of class, unprovoked!!) for using paper bags and then sprayed her with hypno pollen, meanwhile Rochelle, who is in her own relationship, is hardcore flirting with her man!!! I wish the author had been more original when it came to giving them a "frenemy" there are so many options aside from Cleo! (Honestly Operetta would have been an interesting choice, but whatever)
Robecca's characterization is the most tolerable, but she's incredibly rambly, and the author decided to give her a bad sense of time for...reasons. And despite being British, she uses oddly Southern phrases while talking...its super strange. With Venus and Rochelle, I can see where her mind went with writing their characters, but Robecca honestly seems so opposite to her canon personality.
And her backstory was kinda mangled too. It's acknowledged that she was disassembled, and recently reassembled, and even that she previously lived with Mrs. Kindergrubber, but she's treated like a brand new student. No acknowledgement that it was Ghoulia who put her back together!
I understand giving the characters a fresh take, but it would have been pretty simple to integrate the actual canon. Robecca and Rochelle were introduced in the same movie, they were new to Monster High, just not new to all of the characters.
#ghoulfriends#ghoulfriends just wanna have fun#ghoulfriends series#i will say in terms of where the story is going i have no idea#theres so much happening lowkey lol#its interesting cuz like 70% of the story will be kinda slice of life and then shit will hit the fan outta no where#i also had an epiphany that i think the ghoulfriends personalities might be inspired by the powerpuff girls#you have the smart studious pretty one that takes on a leader role (and has bangs)#the mean green confrontational one with an attitude and a short fuse#and the sweet bubbly one that no one takes seriously#could be a coincidence tho its not like those are super original character traits#on to the next one i suppose the second left on a cliffhanger#also side note clawdeen has shown up very little and it makes me sad :(
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the sense that cassie would knock into tony
#not even only regarding Gregory but ellis as well#she'd see this perfectly good friend who cares about tony and has stuck by him for years that tony grew up with#and yeah hes a little flawed but not enough to be dropped or condemned#and shed see how tony blows him off and resents him bc of his own pent up anger and wants to stop hanging out with him#on top of watching tony treat gregory as only a mystery/ggy#(bc this would have to be post book+sb and pre ruin id say)#and shed get mad not only on gregorys behalf but on ellis'#friendship is so important to her and shes grateful to have met Gregory every day#gregory whos flawed like ellis is but tony still wants to take him for granted#both ellis and gregory#shed yell soo much sense into him#and its even more interesting during some sort of plotline where they have to stick together#like ur my only ally and its killing me watching you treat your friends like this but i have to stick with you#doesnt mean i wont scream at you after noticing all this#tony and cassie having different outlooks on a ggy esque plotline#like finding him or solving it or something (but cassies friendship was with the real gregory)#and she watches how as she cares about helping and saving her friend and making sure hes okay#tony is treating it like a detective case and like gregory is just a mystery to solve like hes a goal and not a person#or his FRIEND#cassie would be soo mad#maybe like during ruin or something tony is there#and she doesnt know about the murderous part until she yells at tony about how hes treating finding Gregory#and then he explains it all to her but is like i donnttt think it was him he mighhtt have been possessed#imagining post ruin Tony is the only thing keeping cassie from spiraling#like thyere trapped down there for a bit and he finds a way out but cassie has been being whispered to by the mask and shit#he keeps her from being turned against gregory in this case#using the words she threw in his face about friendship back in hers#not-gregory duo#tony#cassie
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:
Steph (25):
Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)
Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)
Her worst trait really is her spitefulness
Cass (26)
Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.)
Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness.
Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)
Tim (24)
Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)
Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)
His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)
Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)
Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this).
Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)
His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)
Dick (17)
Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)
Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)
His worst trait actually is his anger issues.
Barbara (18)
Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)
Thinks her worst trait is her disability
Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)
Damian (16)
Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)
Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism
His worst trait actually is his perfectionism
Duke (16)
Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)
Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)
His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words
Jason (14)
Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne).
Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)
His worst trait actually is his reactiveness
#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#tim drake#dick grayson#barbara gordon#damian wayne#duke thomas#jason todd#batfamily#randomizedrobinsau#I'm debating whether I should tag this with the Joker Junior tag and those related to it for Pierrot#because like...it's not quite that. but it's also very close to that and is the direct result of that.#but Pierrot would fucking HATE to be tagged as that and sees it as an insult to his identity...which he already has problems with#so I don't think I'm gonna#anyways lmao I am totally projecting my younger self onto Barbara. How could I not? She's literally the reason I view my disability#the way that I do and she actively improved my mental health just by existing and saying some of the shit she did when I was in the#stages of accepting my own disability. So yeah I am projecting a lot onto her because I love her and see myself in her.#I'm mostly basing these characterizations on my favorite versions of them (ie Red Robin 2009 Tim and Birds of Prey Barbara).#so I'm taking the traits I like/think fit in this AU and discarding what I think either is bad or doesn't fit or if I just don't like it.#Damian's 'murder gremlin who is a meanie on purpose because he is a meanie' is entirely unappealing to me and also does not fit this AU#I prefer him when he's portrayed as a sympathetic kid (who is still an asshole) and not a demon child. So that's what I'm using.#same with Talia's 'abusive mother who is totally on-board with all of her father's bullshit and will kill someone for no reason' version#I have read enough comics to know what I like/what is most important and what I don't like/what is#BLATANT CHARACTER ASSASSINATION GRANT MORRISON YOU FUCK YOU SET TALIA BACK SO FUCKING FAR#I also decided to outline their WORST traits because I already know what I like about these characters/their best traits.#most people do. But what was a greater challenge was finding what would make their lives and those of others worse.#what would I hate about this person if I knew them IRL? What would I first suggest they get therapy for? What hurts them and why?#I found these questions really interesting in the context of this AU where some people are forced into completely different roles#the says/thinks/is was inspired by trying to answer that question for myself. I say my worst trait is my impulsiveness but when#I asked others in my life they answered 'oh so you said your weird thing where you don't ask for help right?'
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tw vent (mostly in tags)
Ah yes, the violent thoughts of revenge are back
#I straight up missed most of first period cause i was stuck daydreaming about killing him#My life was over before it began#he's the fucking reason i had to live in poverty instead of having a good happy childhood or some shit#theres so many things people take for granted#even middle class#i could have never been homeless (I am still greatful that this year i have a place to stay)#even then the place im at#they said we had to stay there for less than 6 months#6 fucking months#im feeling stressed the fuck out#but i really want to be optomistic#i want to be happy#but its getting hard as shit#especially knowing all the things i've missed out on#i dont want to overshare everything#especially online#but#im going to find him#and i swear on my life im going to kill him#and if i cant to that#i will ruin his life#i will publish his name#i will tell everyone everything about him#i will mention every fucking thing#he's hired a fucking investigor once on me and my fam#so it shouldnt be hard to do the same to him#so far i know his fb#and linkdin profile#and that was just me googling his name#i also know what university he goes in
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the amount of surprised pika “wait people actually shave their arms?” comments on posts about body hair are so funny like I unironically am so happy for you that you weren’t laughed at by a classmate for having hairy arms “like a man” in like 4th grade this is why I wish body hair conversations would stop centering around armpit hair
#okay that’s the tldr but the way I actually remember it is that the classmate (a boy) pointed out my arm hair and ask why so hairy#and I genuinely was so confused I was just like idk??? and then later at home that day I asked my mom about it and she was like#It’s bc your dads side of the family is hairy so then I later talked to that guy again like ‘I take after my dad’ or whatever#And /then/ is when he laughed and was like ‘but you’re a girl’ about it#Granted I’m non-binary but like I didn’t know that in elementary#Plus I didn’t stop shaving until around mid 2010s and was still self conscious about it for years#Like I remember feeling embarrassed during college (2018ish) if I had to use the rest room and someone else was in there when I would roll#My sleeves up to wash my hands#Anyways I eventually stopped caring about it sometime within the last year or 2 but see how long that took? It really shouldnt#Like some of us just genetically have more darker thicker visible body hair than others and we shouldn’t be shamed for it#One thing at a time though because even I’m still working through leg hair shame#I don’t shave them anymore but I also haven’t worn shorts outside of my bedroom in years#I’ll literally switch into shorts if it’s too hot right before bed and switch back into pants before stepping out of my room in the morning#I’ve been feeling cute the past few days and it’s starting to warm up again plus also had a convo w mom recently so#I might change that soon but only within the house still bc baby steps <3#Anyways I’m just rambling now so I should stop. Good night !!
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