#but there are some stuff that really need changing and sadly they are deeply rooted

[the-fifteen]

Sometimes this job is very fucking tiring

[quill-n]

Hi um! Edgeshot backstory headcanon as fits my personal version of him?!? yeah!!

CW// familial death

He's mixed—Thai on his mother's side, Chinese and Japanese on his father's side

(his grandmother is Chinese and his grandfather is Japanese)

He was born in Thailand and lived there until he was ~9 years old

He moved because his parents and sister, uh. died.

His closest living relative at the time was his grandma, who lived in Japan.

His grandpa had also died (much earlier; of unrelated health causes), so it was just him and Nǎinai </3

She pretty much raised him from then on (along with some help from his cousin, but she mainly just babysat)

Because of. all of that. He speaks a total of three languages: Thai, Mandarin, and Japanese. He also has plenty of influence from all three cultures ✨

ok, moving forward

He was honestly closer with Tsunagu at UA than he was with anyone in his class.

This one's canon, but he trained with Tsunagu pretty regularly. They were pretty close.

Graduated at the top of their class though! <3

Back to Nǎinai— Her house that she had was pretty big, with a whole garden in the back with a koi pond and a small pavilion and everything.

She lived a long time, but sadly passed sometime in Shinya's 20s. He continued to tend to the house and garden in her absence the same way they used to together.

The house had a lot of strong memories for him though, so they moved in with Tsunagu after they got together. He never sold the property or anything. Continues to care for the garden, visits regularly to clean and reminisce.

Tsunagu helps with the plants, too. He's better with the potted/indoor houseplants, while Shin'ya mostly tends to the vegetables.

In my head they are content with their lives like this (we are Ignoring canon, k?)

Uhh now just random miscellaneous headcanons for him I guess??

prefers tea over coffee lol

Left-handed. Idk he has the vibes ig?? This one has been rooted in my brain for a WHILE now (+bonus points to anyone who noticed that in my art already /lh)

Likes to doodle! Will honestly doodle in anything that has margins or available space. notes, paperwork, the undersides of origami paper...

(he/they) but doesn't actually care that much

good?? at math???

TOTAL cat person

There are several stray cats that regularly visit his Nǎinai's garden. He feeds them and cherishes their presence deeply. Has names for ALL of them and actually cried when one of them had kittens

He actively changes the.. I'm not sure what word to use for it. Tone? Depth?... He alters his voice a little bit for his hero persona. His natural speaking voice is actually a lot lighter and not as. raspy.?

He does that because it adds to the ✨charm✨ of his reputation a bit, but it also helps keep him fairly unrecognizable when he's not on duty.

(I totally yoinked that one from the anime; That scene where he said the pizza delivery distraction line? I didn't even realize that he was the one that said it at first, and then I thought about it for a while and just came to this conclusion ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ )

Tsunagu gave him his signature red scarf when they were in their UA years. He doesn't use the original in his hero costume, but he did integrate it into his costume design.

He has heterochromia. I just really like this one.

Needs glasses though (stole that one from Newt <3)

Also has a. fascination. with human anatomy. Could probably list off the scientific names for every body part, if you asked. (also stole that one from Newt <3)

he LOVES stories. Urban legends, myths, folktales, experiences, personal gossip—anything of that sort. Nǎinai told him lots of stories when he was younger. His favorites were the ones about ninjas.

He now has a collection of books that could probably be considered a library, featuring both fiction and historical nonfiction. Most of it he keeps at Nǎinai's house, but he has some relevant stuff in his agency's office.

[1greenameba]

This but in the whole of fiction and just everywhere !

Like i heard pepole in r/worldbuilding tell me "nobody cares about nature" when i told them to take inspiration from the real world because there where genuinely really weird stuff in there , and some months later i left because it turned into a circlejerking copying machine of dystopias and fantasy races that all basically worked in the same way ...

But yeah there are many plants practices and animals that are deeply weird and could be amped up to make some intresting fantasy things :

Take the dynamite tree : wich has explosive fruits and a toxic sap , and could peraps work as a defender of the forest , being undistinguishiable from a regular tree to the untrained eye but readily flinging it's granade like fruits towards any lumber trying to harvest wood , and spraying them with toxic corrosive sap as soon as they cut into it's bark , these trees being present would change how nature and trees are percived : from stoic and passive entities to almost draconic beings who are not to be trifled with ...

It would make lumberjacking a really high skill profession and wood a precius commodity that may get replaced with bone ...

And the post i made talking about the dynamite tree and fire ecology had a recurring joke "trees are dicks" because among plants trees are specialized for interspecific competition with other plants and animals ,

A tree needs a lot of nutrients to survive and to do so it will strangle saplings with it's roots , shade them , clog the mandibles of insects that are trying to eat it and make fruits irregularly to starve out animals that could rely on them ...

Then we enter conifers that will straight up make fires more likely to weed out competition ...

Seeing trees as plant war machines instead of peaceful ents can really shake up the way in wich you write about ecosystems ,

It also makes the lack of large animals in rainforest check out with this : these small animals are effectively living on the back of a dragon kinda like how barnacles and all other small artropods live on whales and on your skin right now ...

Also these pepole greatly under estimate human adaptability and resourcefulness when it comes to living in hard enviorments wich is why they'll always give them uber advanced technology and forget to say what they eat , besides cousine naturally , wich is treated less as the basis of the economy and more as another cool thing pepole do ...

I'd also make a shoutout to a thing i found to be intresting : there are some tribes of australian aborigenese who will perform the so called "bone pointing curse"

In wich they'll point a pointed bone towards their opponent , and afther the victim saw the curse in question would react strogly ,

And stop eating and drinking because it got cursed , eventually dying due to dehydration ...

This is effectively no different from the middle finger , wich will cause rage and anger despite not doing any damage in particular , but just because the sign is offensive ...

Similarly : bone pointing is fatal because the sign is fatal , and it leads to suicidality , it's a very strong placebo effect for those who belive it ...

So really , death curses don't require magic to work , just strong emotions ...

And to pepole who grew up in superstitius cultures these are oodly relatable and belivable really ...

All and all it seems those worlds are made as a kind of ritual : a fantasy world needs races and hard magic ...

And a sci fi world demands a dystopian governament and guns being the most intresting part of the thing ...

All and all this is sadly the state of our narratives about other worlds ...

I think the main thing that's annoying to me in concepts for minecraft updates and in mods is like. Nature things that are more based in tropes from media than the actual natural world

Some conventions that are common in video games re: plants and animals make me so irrationally angry. it's like "no one involved in creating this was even marginally interested in the fact that it represents a real thing that is outside"

[khadij-al-kubra]

Storytelling, Fate & Happy Endings

I’m still processing last nights episode (CR C2 Ep140), and much like every critter I’m SUPER emotional about it. But something about last night���s events and how they played out really got to me, not just as a fan but also as a storyteller. And even the day after, i was actually crying (still am crying in fact) more than i did last night watching it happen. At first i thought it was because i’m a fairly new critter and this is my first time watching a campaign come to an end. But the more i think about it and process, the more i realize that’s not just it. This effected me as someone who deeply believes in the power of storytelling and how it can not only effect but reflect the world around us. And because I have to get them out of my head, here are my thoughts on why last nights episode was so important, not just for CR fans but also as a an important narrative for right now.

...Yeah that’s a bit vague, isn’t it? Okay, let me explain. If you’re willing to take the time to read fellow Critters, I greatly appreciate it in advance. ^__^

WARNING: Major spoilers for CR Campaign 2 Episode 140 ahead. Also it’s gonna get kind of meta. And long. Because i have a lot of thoughts & feels.

So I think it’s fair to say that, as much as we would’ve been devastated by any of the M9 perma-dying in the last battle, part of us wasn’t expecting them all to make it out of there alive. Not even the players, I think, despite how much they likely didn’t want that to happen. Just look at the half-resigned way Liam talks about Caleb in the last few Talks Machina episodes. Or how, in game, Jester was fully prepare to die trying to stop the city from coming back. And for a while there, it seemed like some of them might not survive.

But then they did. Despite so many crappy rolls throughout the night they stopped Lucien, set free all the souls trapped in Aeor, saved Exandria, and brought each other back from the dead. Not only that, but they also did the impossible: They saved Mollymauk. Their lost friend who had such a deep impact on all of them even after his death. The delightfully charming asshole who was so full of joy and life and who, despite how the world treated him, was happily determined to leave every place better than he found it. Moreover, they almost didn’t succeed! But then they did, all because of teamwork, love and one last minute ditch effort ‘what-the-hell-have-i-got-to-lose’ dice role that none of them saw coming. And now they get to go home together, truly as The Mighty NINE.

Just this once, everybody lived! We got a happy ending!

And that’s HUGE in game...but also think for a second how that reflects outside of game too. Do you realize what a story like that means to people, especially given the year from Hell we’ve all had?

Think about it. This past year the world has suffered. We’ve all been impacted by the pandemic in some way shape or form, either on small levels or large. Our world has been at war with a virus that effected everyone and everything: Our sense of safety. Our health. Our economy. Our families & friends. Our freedom. (in the sense of our ability to travel & just be in close proximity to people without fear, but i digress) Deeply imbedded social and systematic diseases have been brought further to light in the past year and a half largely because of this virus. Some of us have lost people we love. Hell, the pandemic even effected the way that the latter half of Campaign 2 played out because of social distancing protocols. If you further compare this to Campaign 2, the world of Exandria was caught in the middle of a war that started because of social & systematic corruptions that had been rooted in two opposing kingdoms for years. And so many suffered and died because of it.

Then the Mighty Nein comes in. This ragtag group of delightful assholes with nothing to lose; these flawed but inherently good at heart and deeply human adventurers, broken and lost in their own ways, trying to make a home and family for themselves in a world that took advantage of them or left them alone or said they weren’t good enough...and they changed things. 

They grew. They fought back. They found moments of silliness and peace and joy and fun amidst all the strife and sometimes grief. Most of all, they tried. Sometimes out of necessity, sometimes out of spite, sometimes even out of compassion, but mostly just out of love. And in the end, not only did they help people and stop a war for the sake of their loved ones, but they also saved their world from being destroyed by a rotted perversion of life from the past that threatened to consume everything they cared about. AND they STILL managed to bring everyone in their found family back to life. Does it erase the bad and sad things that happened to them? Hell no! But those things don’t negate the fact that in that moment, they made it out okay. That this was a victory and they won!

Think of what a story like that means to people right now.

I’m personally a pretty spiritual person, and much like our favorite clerics, I also believe in a higher power. But whether or not you also believe in a Divine being, the Universe or whatever, every D&D player believes in one thing: Fate. Luck. Call it what you will. But it was fate that made those dice rolls that saved everyone happen. It was fate that not only stopped Cognoza from returning, but also brought Jester and Caleb and Molly back to life, even when it seemed like it wouldn’t work. (and holy shit that gave me emotional whiplash!) 

After everything they went through, both individually and together, the Mighty Nein defied the odd and demanded that Fate let them save their loved ones. They demanded that the world give them back their friend; That they deserved to have their happy ending & get to go home alive together. Just. This. Once.

As a writer, I know firsthand that there are some stories we find and create ourselves, but then there are stories that have a way of finding us. Sometimes a story or world or character from somewhere in the Aether will pop into our minds one day and say, ‘I need your voice to tell my story.’ Maybe this is just me getting carried away with the meta brain again. And like i said, i’m a spiritually inclined person, so I believe in things like Fate and a Divine Higher power writing out the stories of the Multiverse. If you’re reading this (and thank you for taking the time to do so) maybe you do too. Or maybe you don’t. Either way, if you’re a fellow critter, then you’re clearly a fan of good stories and/or playing Dungeons & Dragons. So you know how fate/dice roles have a big impact on the outcome of a story, regardless of how tightly written a setup the dungeon master makes. Given all that and how organically stories tend to play out in D&D, I genuinely believe that Matt Mercer and the whole CR Team were meant to be conduits for a story where the flawed heroes save the world AND all make it home alive.

And I think Fate knew that we needed last nights battle to end like this. After all the crap we’ve been through this past year, we needed this happy ending, deserved it even! Not just us critters, the CR team too. As much as we all like to joke that Campaign 2 was secretly scripted, we all know that’s not true. Yes, the setup storyline and world were brilliantly crafted by Matt, and the character roleplaying is beautifully acted out by the team. But the twists and turns, the direction it goes, and how the game plays out is all up to fated dice rolls just like any other game. And something, some kind of force of luck, some force of fate, some Universal Divine DM out there made the roles happen the way they did last night.

It gave us a happy ending.

I believe that this was meant to happen; now of all times with everything else going on in the world. Amidst all this darkness and rot, both in game and in the real world, in the end of it all there was light and life. A reminder that sometimes people do live. They do get second chances. They do find a new family or reunite with old ones. That sometimes the world can be saved for a time, and happy ending do still exist. Even if it’s not broadcasted on the daily news amidst tragedy reports, or even tragedies that don’t get reported (which sadly are a lot, but again i digress).

Because the thing is, like Beau said, no one else will probably know they were heroes. No one will know what the Mighty Nein sacrificed to save all of Exandria. But they don’t need to know that for it to still be true, for life to happen again, and for a found family of nine broken people who love each other to go home together safe. It doesn’t invalidate that the good things happened. That at least for today everyone was saved. That flawed people were still able to do good because they tried. That they left the world better than they found it and got their own small but satisfying happy ending. Even if only for now, because we don’t know what’s gonna happen next Thursday. We don’t know what the future will hold for the Nein or Exandria when the Campaign ends or even when (hopefully) some loose ends will be tied up in later oneshots. But neither that nor the bad and sad stuff that happened beforehand in the game and in the character’s lives invalidates the fact that tonight they won. They lived.

So why can’t that be true for us in the real world?

I said earlier that, as a writer, I believe in the power stories have to not only reflect but also shape our world. This story is an example of why, but especially this episode, and that’s why i was so euphoric about the outcome. It wasn’t just a game for me, and i’m sure for others too. It was a much needed reminder that happy endings can still happen in real life, just as much as they can in stories. Even when everything seems dark and corrupt and rotten and hopeless, we can still keep fighting. We can keep trying. We can make new families and start over and be heroes in our on little lives in small ways. 

We can leave the world better than we found it. 

And maybe, with hard work, imagination, luck and a little Divine intervention...we can also get the happy endings we deserve.

[telehxhtrash]

Hi !! Okay this meta will be very quickly put together so it’s not gonna be the best BUT. These two asks (here and here) got me thinking and I want to put my thoughts down.

Once again, Togashi’s paneling is driving me insane. During chapter 218, Gon tells Palm that he can’t give her what she truly wants, a relationship, because he’s too focused on training to get Kite back. But that whole speech is overlaid with a panel of Killua, which opens the door for some interesting (very subjective) interpretations.

There are a few things that make me think that this seemingly random panel of Killua is actually here as a visual cue to link Gon’s words to Killua’s situation.

When you read Gon’s monologue, while it definitely applies to Palm, it can be read with a deeper layer. I feel like this also applies to Killua. Because at this moment of the story, Killua is discovering new feelings for Gon and just wants to spend more time with him, while Gon is tragically getting lost on a quest for revenge. Gon can’t give Killua what he really wants. He can’t give him the love and attention he needs and deserves, because right now, he has to focus on fixing the wrongs he made. He’s sadly emotionally unavailable. And here, the general theme of this interaction with Palm is Gon apologizing for not being able to provide affection to a person who wants to spend time together. Which. With what I just highlighted about Killua, can definitely apply to him.

Now, what’s interesting, is that a chapter earlier, this exact notion of wanting to spend more time together is highlighted in a very emotional, open-hearted moment.

Here, Killua is explaining that he’s never been on dates, because all this time, he’s been with Gon. They’re always been together, spending time together. And Killua emphasizes that he really doesn’t want that to change. That he wants to stay by his side forever, and spend more time with him. That sentence, that idea of wanting to stay with the other, brings up that idea of spending more time together, just the two of them. 

This idea of wanting to spend more time together is also reinforced by the japanese raw text ! In Japanese, Killua says “本当はこれからだってずっと” which is very very close to what the fanlation in the panel above says, but in japanese, there are two interesting subtleties.

• The use of 本当, which means “really”, and highlights that deeply rooted need to stay together.

• The use of これから, which means “from now on”, which highlights that idea of “keep on staying together”, that idea of “starting now”, of him wanting to spend more time with Gon starting right this moment. 

Killua wants to spend more time with Gon, and he expresses that wish in this panel.

And then, the very next chapter, Gon explains that he can’t spend more time with Palm. He can’t give her more time together. And that assertion is overlaid with that panel of Killua.

So in my opinion, this panel of Killua is meant to be a visual cue to link Gon’s words to Killua’s situation.

Because just a chapter before, Killua expressed his need to stay with Gon and spend more time with him. And right after, Gon explains to Palm, who wants the same exact thing, that he can’t give her what she wants : more time together.

This paneling is interesting. You could definitely dismiss it as unintentional or too wacky an interpretation. BUT. This exact paneling pattern was already used by Togashi, just 19 chapters before.

In chapter 199, Killua calls Gon his light. He expresses deep adoration and love for Gon, and it’s a highly emotional moment. And the very next chapter, chapter 200, Togashi introduces us to Palm, who goes on to monologue about love. I’ve highlighted this in countless posts, but Palm’s speech on love can be applied to Killua’s situation. And it’s on purpose. Because a chapter ago, Killua let his feelings bloom, and now, a character is here to indirectly highlight that.

And Togashi makes sure to link Palm’s speech to Killua’s situation, by providing a visual clue too.

The visual clue to link Palm’s monologue to Killua is Palm directly staring at Killua in the eye while saying that “love just happens out of nowhere”. 

So here, there are a few elements :

• Killua opens up his heart in an inner monologue

• The next chapter, a character says something that weirdly relates to Killua’s situation and thought in the previous chapter

• There’s a visual clue in paneling to link the character’s speech to Killua’s situation

Which is….. The same exact thing that happens in chapter 217 and 218.

• In chapter 217, Killua expresses his need to spend more time with Gon.

• The next chapter, Gon explains not being able to spend more time with Palm

• There’s a visual clue in the paneling : a panel of Killua while Gon explains the situation.

So in my opinion… This is smart, intentional paneling from Togashi. He’s giving us visual clues and laying down everything a chapter prior so that we make the connection between Gon’s words and his situation with Killua.

Gon can’t give Killua what he wants right now. Time, just the two of them. Even though that’s all Killua wants, Gon can’t provide right now, because he has to get stronger.

I think this specific situation is Togashi highlighting the reason why Gon can’t open up his heart to Killua right now, and he’s doing so through his use of Palm.

One more interesting parallel that reinforces my belief that Gon’s words applying to Killua is intentional is the fact that, just like I mentioned in this post, Gon’s date with Palm is foiling his day on Whale Island with Killua. 

To me, Togashi’s goal was to create an environment completely reminiscent of Killua, so that the reader unconsciously links Gon’s words to Killua. Through having Killua assert wanting to spend more time with Gon, make Gon go on a date that closely remembers his night with Killua on Whale Island, explain that he can’t give more time to Palm over a panel of Killua…

I really believe that this was Togashi’s goal. To indirectly explain why Gon can’t open his heart to Killua right now. I don’t think this interaction with Palm was directed at Palm from a narrative point of view. It was meant towards Killua.

Of course, there are other interpretations ! Gon could be directly referring to Killua, thinking about him and suggesting that his reason for turning Palm down is because he’s in love with Killua. Or it could just be regular paneling with no deeper meaning.

But hey, media consumption is subjective, and I’m a hoe for gay subtext, so here are my thoughts on this!

One little note of optimism though to close everything nicely. Gon highlights that he can’t give Palm (Killua) more time together right now because he’s focused on Kite. But when you keep in mind that it’s likely Gon’s speech is referring to Killua, then something interesting is highlighted.

That idea that, once this is over, he will be able to spend more time together. The same way Killua wants. Romantically.

Combine this with Ging’s speech on “something more important than the thing you’re hunting could be right there by the side of the road”, implying that Gon will need to realize this lesson…. I’m really thinking Gon’s next character arc will involve feelings realization. So hey, I’m gonna reach and say that this “i can’t give you what you want, at least not until this whole thing is over” is also meant to foreshadow feelings realization on Gon’s part.

This was very messy and in NO WAY subjective but if you read this until the end, thank you ! <3

(ty @buzzykrueger​ for making my brain buzz with thoughts !! if you want to add anything to this, on why you believe this could be Gon opening his heart and indirectly confessing he loves Killua, please feel free to add stuff!!)

[passionate-reply]

In 1993, Billy Idol--yes, that Billy Idol--went completely mad and made an electronic album full of futuristic themes, samples, and techno beats. Many consider Cyberpunk one of the worst albums of all time, but on this week’s installment of Great Albums, we provide a somewhat more positive approach. Check out the video, or read the transcript below the break!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! In this installment, I’ll be taking a look at an artist one might not normally associate with the usual “pantheon” of synthesizer jockeys I usually talk about: Billy Idol. Initially known as the frontman of punk outfit Generation X, Idol found success as a solo artist in the early 1980s, fusing tough-as-nails punk aesthetics with a lavish, almost camp sense of glam, and his visually arresting pop-rock made him an MTV-friendly star of the “Second British Invasion.” While one couldn’t fairly argue that Idol was an “electronic musician,” his early work does contain moments of mild electro-curiosity, perhaps most notably the mercurial ballad, “Eyes Without a Face.”

Music: “Eyes Without a Face”

But despite the minor synth touches of the hit single “Eyes Without a Face,” few in the 1980s could have possibly expected the turn Idol’s career would eventually take by the time of his 5th studio LP: 1993’s Cyberpunk. Cyberpunk is, of course, an album with a reputation that precedes it, and that reputation is not a particularly good one. Cyberpunk is a deeply fraught album, which commercially underperformed upon release, and did even worse in the eyes of critics, with the magazine Q dubbing it the 5th worst album of all time. In the nearly 30 years since the album’s release, opinions on it don’t seem to have softened that much, either. But as with everything I choose to talk about, I think Cyberpunk is worth listening to. I think it’s a daring and challenging work of art, and one that stands on its own terms when approached head-on. Whether you’re familiar with this album or not, I encourage you to give it a fresh listen, and a fair shake.

Music: “Wasteland”

Perhaps the most immediately apparent feature of Cyberpunk is its increasingly electronic soundscape, including a prominent sample-based hook on the track “Wasteland.” The album was created in less than a year, and chiefly through use of computers and digital audio software, which Idol evidently found easier to explore and use than earlier forms of music technology. I’m partial to the argument that sees the use of digital software as perfectly compatible with the famed DIY ethos of punk, and hence, not far from Idol’s wheelhouse at all. In the 1990s, computers were still something that far from everyone owned, but in our contemporary world of Soundcloud rappers on seemingly every street, it’s easier to accept the notion of computer music as a grassroots, egalitarian field where even the unskilled are welcome--perhaps even moreso than punk ever was, in the 20th Century. This is one sense in which I think Cyberpunk has aged better than anyone could have possibly imagined. Besides pushing the texture of Idol’s music into new territory, Cyberpunk is also a fairly risky album structurally, opening with a sort of manifesto being read, and peppered with brief interludes between its tracks proper.

Music: “Interlude 3”

It’s only fitting that an album so concerned with the bleeding edge of technology might also try to push the boundaries of the still-fresh CD age. Liberated from the confines of designing chiefly for vinyl, artists like Idol were empowered to create CDs that ostensibly had 20 “tracks,” with no need for empty grooves to separate these brief interludes from the album’s major compositions. This avant-garde touch adds significant amounts of texture to the album, and, dare I say, a sense of world-building. Undoubtedly, one main reason why this album was so poorly received at the time is that it is, quite simply, not what one expects a Billy Idol record to sound like--at least, with the possible exception of its second single, “Shock to the System.”

Music: “Shock to the System”

“Shock to the System” feels like something of an orphan in the tracklisting of Cyberpunk. While tracks like “Wasteland” certainly maintain a rough-edged rock mentality about them, and could never be confused for straightforward techno floor-fillers, “Shock to the System” feels more like it was tacked onto the album just so that it would have something that appealed to those who exclusively prefer Idol’s earlier style--and, given that most of Idol’s greatest hits compilations tend to include “Shock to the System” and nothing else from Cyberpunk, this may have worked. Cyberpunk, as a genre, is often concerned with political themes--its great literary progenitor, William Gibson, once said that “the future is already here, but it’s unevenly distributed,” epitomizing the extent to which the intersection between technology and class is a central issue in cyberpunk media. “Shock to the System” is the most overtly political track on Cyberpunk, inspired by the wave of riots that broke out in Los Angeles following the acquittal of police officers alleged to have used excessive force in the arrest of a Black man, Rodney King. While the role of computers in daily life has changed a great deal since the 1990s, police brutality and anti-Blackness have sadly remained quite similar.

Few have commented on the perhaps uncomfortable implications of Idol’s dramatization of the LA riots from outside, which seems to transmute the scene into one of high-tech fantasy while largely eliding over the racial implications of why people were rioting in the first place--something that seems particularly strange when one learns how upset members of the underground “cyberculture” were about the alleged co-opting and appropriation of their culture. Some have characterized Idol as an honest appreciator of cyberpunk who just wanted to make art that engaged with its ideas, and others more cynically consider him a profiteer who thought he could commercialize a more palatable version of the counter-culture. While the latter hypothesis may well be true, I’m not sure if it can rightfully be said that Idol had “no right” to mine cyberculture for inspiration, particularly since cyberculture has often encouraged amateur participation. Still, as a sometime fan of the literary genre myself, I’m tempted to agree with those who have questioned how deep Idol’s understanding of cyberpunk actually was, particularly when faced with tracks like “Neuromancer.”

Music: “Neuromancer”

In William Gibson’s novel of the same name, Neuromancer is a super-advanced AI with the ability to preserve people’s personalities in virtual reality...though you probably wouldn’t have guessed any of that from this track. Many who interviewed Idol seemed to think he had a weak grasp on the finer points of cyberculture, and even Gibson himself, upon meeting Idol, failed to take him seriously. Still, I don’t think it’s entirely fair to draw a line in the sand, as some have done, and say that Idol was particularly, individually, responsible for the dilution of cyberpunk ideals, as presented by authors like Gibson. While it may be easy to poke fun at the clownish, overwrought figure of Idol, as the embodiment of people who love books they don’t understand, it’s not like that many people owned this album. I think the success of popular films like Blade Runner and The Matrix has done much more to simplify and proliferate ideas cribbed from Gibson.

But however you feel about this, it’s clear that Cyberpunk was an album that ended up appealing to nearly no-one--it alienated Idol’s existing fans with its stylistic diversions, as well as feeling too commercial and inauthentic to cyberpunk enthusiasts. Something else that I haven’t seen mentioned in discussion of this album is the fact that Billy Idol really wasn’t the first to combine the ideas of cyberpunk and music. By the early 1990s, industrial acts like Front 242 and Front Line Assembly had already been making electronic music about cyber brain implants for years, albeit largely underground and often unnoticed by rock-focused critics. I can’t help but think that the prior existence of this stuff was yet another factor that caused Cyberpunk’s failure to thrive. Compared to the electronic body music scene, Cyberpunk comes across as less subtle, less insider, and much more surface-level.

The cover art of Cyberpunk has attracted nearly as much derision as the associated music. The image of Idol’s face bleeds and distorts “into” and “against” a gridlike field, perhaps the greenish terminal of an early computer screen, a representation of the hacker figure entering the virtual world of cyberspace, and identity blurring along those lines. With its wobbly image distortion and queasy complementary colour palette of yellow and purple, it instantly evokes not only cyberpunk aesthetics generally, but more particularly the fusion between cyberpunk and another popular aesthetic of the early 90s: psychedelia, which experienced a substantial resurgence around this time, related to rave culture and its embrace of hallucinogenic party drugs. So-called “cyberdelic” themes abound on the album as well, particularly on the hypnotic “Adam In Chains,” a track that sounds less like 80s New Wave, and more like 90s New Age.

Following the release and subsequent panning of Cyberpunk in the 1990s, Billy Idol went silent for over a decade. While he claimed that his disinterest in making new music was rooted moreso in mismanagement by Chrysalis Records than it was the album’s failure, it’s very tempting to look for a correlation here. Over the years, Idol was often asked if he ever planned to make more electronic music, and consistently claimed that he was chiefly interested in guitar-centric rock, while never completely trashing his vision for Cyberpunk. True to his word, when Idol finally did return to music with 2005’s Devil’s Playground, he delivered on his “classic” sound, and he’s continued to do so ever since.

Music: “Scream”

My favourite track on Cyberpunk is its lead single, the total showstopper “Heroin.” “Heroin” is actually a cover of a song by the seminal Velvet Underground, and it’s everything I think a cover ought to be: exciting, bizarre, and capable of taking something familiar and kicking it into a whole new territory. What’s the point of covering something without changing it and doing something a bit different? “Heroin” is naturally one of the most psychedelic-oriented tracks on the album, being a cover of a drug-themed 1960s classic, as well as one of the tracks with the most influence from dance genres like techno, boasting a very appealing extended outro that makes it feel like a 12” remix. While I think Cyberpunk is a fascinating album, “Heroin” is the one track I think really crosses the bridge from being interesting to being, quite simply, good, and it’s something I’m much more inclined to sit down and listen to recreationally. That’s everything for today--thanks for listening!

Music: “Heroin”

[back-and-totheleft]

"My job is drama"

George Clooney can rest easy - he's evidently one of the few film-makers working today that controversial director Oliver Stone doesn't have a problem with...

"I liked 'Michael Clayton', 'Syriana'," says Stone, referring to two of Clooney's recent political dramas, "but most stuff is deeply conservative."

"Even when James Cameron made that superb film 'Avatar', he was making as clear a statement as I have ever seen about the US military being the bad guy, and he said, "I don't make political films like Oliver Stone. I had no intention of criticising the empire.' Well, James, excuse me, what are you smoking? I love you as a film-maker, but don't play that game.

"My job is drama. I have to tell a story with tension and make it exciting to watch, but if I'm dealing with political content, I don't want to get on the wrong side of history, and I won't."

I mention I've just come from watching the latest America-takes-on-evil blockbuster 'Olympus Has Fallen', starring Morgan Freeman with its Korean enemies, and a big White House-based battle for victory. Stone sighs.

"Morgan Freeman sadly should not... I would not take the money if I were Morgan, whom I respect, for espousing a false enemy." And he's on a roll.

Churchill and Roosevelt's meeting changed the direction of World War II, told by Stone in his new 10-part documentary series telling 'The Untold Story' of the 20th century

"By the way, a recent James Bond film was ridiculous too. They made Cuba the home of chemical warfare and it becomes a whole issue when they go to Cuba. And, in another film, Mr Stallone, who is an equal opportunity offender, managed to make a film that made $100m, saying that Chavez was a bad guy with a red beret.

"This is very dangerous toxic material that you're putting into the body politic. It's like you're polluting the waters. I hope to god there is some justice in this world to bring back to these film-makers some sense of what they did."

While all this money has been made in Hollywood, Stone has not been idle. Instead, he's put his back into a 10-part documentary series, telling the "untold" story of 20th century US politics. It's been a five-year labour of love, to "re-examine what you thought you knew".

Stone has apparently been longtime infuriated by what is being taught. "It's in my daughter's text books... the US successfully ended WWII with the bomb, and the Japanese had to be defeated that way. because they would never surrender."

For Stone, it's all about the atom bomb, the dropping of which ended WWII. "Once you deal with the bomb, you can never come back, it's like opening Pandora's Box. Once you start to understand that the bomb was not necessary to drop, it opens up the next question... who started the cold war? What was the bomb about? Was it about the Russians, or really about the Japanese? I think it's like a good Agatha Christie."

Stone has been happy to tell what he considers the 'untold story' in many of his films, including 'Born on the Fourth of July', 'JFK' and 'Nixon', but this wasn't borne out of activism - in fact, if anything, it was the other way round...

"My advocacy comes from the films. I avoided activism after Vietnam, I wasn't sure about my positions, I was muddled. I always expressed interest in it, but I never understood emotionally how I was attached to the landscape. I had gone to Vietnam because of politics, but you don't put two and two together.

The average soldier goes to fight for his country, to fight communism, you don't think too much about that, you got a couple of medals, you feel good about yourself, you feel kind of lousy because you some people got killed who you didn't think should be killed. It comes from idealism.

"My life has evolved, my knowledge has deepened, I learned a lot in the past five years, I'm grateful for that. I knew a lot, but not like this."

Does increased knowledge equal deeper anger? He shakes his head.

"Anger can only take you so far, you can't keep it up, it wears you down. I think you need consistency, intellectual curiosity, stamina, all of these things come into play. Anger is not a working emotion, it's perhaps a deep-seated feeling of conscience."

And, with all the stories he tells in 10 chapters of documentary belying the myth that America has earned its position of message-bearing to the world, is he still a patriot? This time he nods.

"A patriot is willing to dissent from his country's majority with a vigilante viewpoint, and when it's wrong, it's wrong. So, yes. We stand for speaking out and being different and saying we have sold out to the conformity and fear, and the usual suspects."

If, as Stone sees it, there are people willing to uphold the myth for their own ends, to whom does he give credit for standing up and speaking out?

"Gorbachev... Kruschev... Kennedy doesn't get enough credit for saving the world, by saying no to the military. Kennedy had deep guts to say no, and I think he paid the price for it..."

Tempting as it is to follow Oliver Stone down a labyrinth of conspiracy, I'm keen to end positively, so I ask where his beacons of hope are to be found.

"Whenever I speak to kids in colleges, I think there's a bulb going off, and I hope there's a Martin Luther King out there, willing to speak out for good in this world. You always hope that you're going to hit that button. There are a lot of smart people. Lot of dumb people, but also smart people. You've got to root for evolution."

In the case of Mr Stallone and co, too? He chuckles.

"We should make Stallone watch our series with clockwork orange eyes."

-Caroline Frost, "Oliver Stone on his history series," The Huffington Post, Nov 4 2013 [x]

[charmingturkeysandwich]

On Series Finales

(I need to get this out of my head)

(I have so much to say about narrative structure vs. audience opinion)

People always have very strong opinions on series finales. Obviously. It’s the culmination of years of investment in something. Because of this you’re never going to make 100% of people happy. Each of us is invested for different reasons; we connect with different characters. What we “like” is always going to differ. 

That doesn’t mean that calling something a “bad” finale is all about taste or who you ship or stan or what have you. Sometimes the episode simply fails the narrative it built. Being disappointed in something because of a narrative failure can’t be written off as “you just wanted a happy ending and that was never going to happen.” Especially with modern dramas, bittersweet is the happiest we can really hope for. Even comedies usually have some painful episodes leading to the end. I don’t think anyone is expecting TV shows these days to end like Disney movies. Hell, Disney movies sometimes don’t end like Disney movies anymore.

Anyway, enough babbling. Here’s the thing: in fiction - as in life - expectations are everything. Many writing choices the writers, directors, and producers make will set up these expectations. When they’re not met, people are cranky. And for valid reasons.

1. Where you start a story is important. 

An often ridiculed series finale is How I Met Your Mother. The pilot focuses on Ted falling immediately in love with Robin. And the “twist” is all “oh, that’s not your mom; that’s Aunt Robin!” But there’s a reason it started there. Yes, technically, you can argue the reason is because Ted ran into the mother at Robin’s wedding, so meeting Robin was important. But they chose to continue to focus on Robin/Ted the whole fucking series. So technically it made sense narratively for him to come back to her in the end. Somewhere along the way I tweeted the show and said it should be called How I Met Your Aunt Robin, because it truly was more about her than the mother. So, yes, people were pissed when she died and it was “all for nothing.” But despite the title... it was never really her story. So in this way, I defend the ending. It fit the story that they told. They began with Robin. They continued to focus on Robin. Why wouldn’t he “end up with” Robin?

2. Pacing matters - and heavily influences expectations

In How I Met Your Mother, you have a day-to-day, usual kind of sitcom for 7 seasons. Then all of a sudden, a 48-hour span of time is spread out for an entire season! This was jarring and I found it to be tedious. Jack Bauer is not here; the world is not at risk. We do not need a minute by minute account of these two days. In this way, I think the whole last season is a disappointment. 

It also served to adjust our expectations. OK I just watched 20 episodes of how much Barney loves Robin - this must mean something. NOPE! Divorced in one episode. An episode, mind you, where they flew through years of their lives. After drawing out two days. For a whole season. They put a couple decades in, like, a half hour. In this way, How I Met Your Mother failed narratively. The pacing sucked and it made us expect something different from the finale. In this regard, I fucking hated that show and want my time back.

Pacing is super important to Game of Thrones, AKA the reason I can’t get series finale essays from running through my head. You’re set up in a world that is medieval-esque. There are no airplanes and Ubers and the magic doesn’t seem to have evolved into teleportation or the like. Everything was slow in the beginning, for many seasons. Conversations were at the forefront. It was  a social game. It was about the people, first and foremost, even though the stupid sword-y chair was important, too. That was the plot. Likewise, in the beginning, people weren’t protected by plot armor. Remember, GoT so fantastically shattered our collective expectations for a show, but in the most organic, realistic way. We were carrying the expectations of other dramas with us and projecting them on this show, assuming Ned was “safe” because he was our lens - at least, more so than anyone else. He was the protagonist! He might be tortured, but he surely wasn’t going to be beheaded. Wrong! He was. That and its fallout allowed us as viewers to fully commit to a whole new set of expectations.

But then as time went on, travel just kind of... happened. Things that should have taken a whole season happened in a scene! And with no kind of acknowledgement. Additionally, that initial slowness built us up to have HUGE payoffs. Think of all the tiny things that led to the disaster/amazing episode that included the Red Wedding. They built us up and they met that slow burn hype. In later seasons, they have ridiculous outward hype over the white walkers and Night King, over confrontations between Cercei and her potential killers (Jamie, Arya, etc.) The pacing led us to believe that these things would conclude in a deep and meaningful way that justifies the time we spend watching and theorizing on our own. When you suddenly hit fast forward through the good stuff, it’s jarring! And you lose character development.

And, oh, the plot armor thing. We were led to believe this show wasn’t like other shows. No one was safe. So someone please explain to me how exactly half (or more) of the named characters survived the battle with the undead?! Sam was basically crying in a pile of bodies. Jon was hiding behind a rock from the Ice Dragon who had just blue-flamed down a giant fucking wall. Brienne and Jamie had been on the front lines of that second wave. But their (and others’) plot armor was simply too strong. We were betrayed by the “new” expectations that I, for one, deeply respected. Gore is not my thing - I often had to look away and hum through certain scenes over the seasons - but to know that there were always consequences and that the stakes were always high and unpredictable... that’s what made this titty-fest bloodbath worth it! Take away its uniqueness from all other shows, and you’re just left with some really violent almost-porn. 

3. We watch your show for characters, not shock value

OK, yes, some people enjoy the big reveals and that’s kind of why they signed up to begin with. My brother cannot get over some of the CGI scenes and battles, so I get it. But for the most part, every story is rooted in the characters. You could take the most exciting story on the planet, in the most intricate world, but if you put boring ass people in it, no one will care. We’re invested in the characters and we want them to be consistent. And if they change... well they better change slowly, the way that actual people usually do. Redemption arcs are common in fiction - more common than in real life, sadly - and they can really pay off. As can whatever you call the opposite of that. Falls from grace? I’m not sure. Either way - slow is key here. Drop hints. Build it into their character. It’s a gruesome comparison, but if a frog jumps into boiling water, he jumps back out; if he’s in cool water and you gradually heat it up he will eventually boil to death. This is how falls from grace should occur. The character doesn’t just jump into boiling water. It doesn’t hold up.

Dany is obviously the big one here. I’m not arguing that it would be possible for her to become the Mad Queen and torch King’s Landing. But I’m saying that maybe at least a time or two before her little tolling bells meltdown we should see her saying “fuck the innocent people.” We should have seen her violence spreading beyond people who deserved it. The writers should have presented us with more moments that signaled she cared more about power than actually breaking the wheel. Her character was too consistent for too long (go back to pacing and expectations and where the story began) for her to have a turn like that and for it to be satisfying and accepted.

Similarly, Jamie’s abandoned redemption arc didn’t make sense to me. Drop us some hints that he’s still hateful above all else, maybe, before you have him just up and revert at the mention of Cercei dying... a thing he clearly had to realize was coming well before that moment.

There were complaints about this same thing with Barney from HIMYM, along the lines of “seriously we sat through a season of him redeeming himself (and truly, he started before that) just to watch him go back to banging any under 30 with daddy issues an episode later?” Honestly, that one makes a little more sense. He was problematic even at his best! And they did show that he tried to not be that guy - he and Robin were married for a year or two (offscreen, of course) before the divorce. The biggest problem with HIMYM wasn’t the characters - it was the pacing! It changed our expectations and left many disappointed. 

And finally, For God’s sake you don’t always need a crazy twist.

And maybe this falls to the producers and not the writers. They want viewers. They want coverage. They want listicles on Buzzfeed. And both HIMYM and GoT got them! But at what cost? The reason we didn’t get any lead up to Dany turning is because they wanted to shock us. The reason that they didn’t have some of the strongest theories come true is because they wanted to shock us. Shock has been used well in this series to this point. Masterfully, even! But this wasn’t masterful. This was the showrunners playing God instead of letting things happen organically. Some twists make sense after you look back and notice the buried hints. Some twists make sense because there were things that you as the audience didn’t know yet. But other twists are only shocking because they’re out of character, unrealistic, or just plain dumb. We didn’t get much after the twists except some speeches that honestly sounded like the showrunners themselves speaking to defend their choices. Awkward.

Another series finale that disappointed many fans with its twist was Lost. I never watched, but, I mean, if I watched a whole series just to have it never have been real, I would have been pissed. I was terrified that OUaT was going to do that - that in the finale we’d find out it had all been a dream little Emma was having at a group home or some shit. Fans are invested in long-running series - especially those with supernatural/sci-fi words - and to pull the rug out from under them like that is just... rude. And massively disappointing. You mean we speculated ourselves to death for nothing?! 

What people want from a series finale is an ending of this chapter of the characters’ lives that honors the past and acknowledges the future. There’s a reason that series finales often do something to bring it “back to the beginning.” It’s satisfying! I love that the last thing that we saw the Friends do is go get coffee together. That’s how it started! But after that coffee, they were off to the next part of their lives. I love when they get a little self-aware/meta in the last episode, like when Cory says, “Boy Meets World, now I get it.” And then he and Topanga were moving to New York City. Back to the beginning/the roots... but also going somewhere new.

My point in all this is simple: usually when there’s a massive uproar over a series finale, it’s not just petty people being mad their fave didn’t get the ending they wanted. It’s usually a sign of a problem in the writing, whether it be the writing of that last episode or of the series in general. 

Everyone’s opinions are valid and their feelings are real. But when the writing is bad/lazy/shoddy/too focused on a few scenes they’d clearly imagined before writing the finale/clearly leaving certain plot holes or opportunities for spinoffs even when it doesn’t necessarily make sense... people notice.

(And, oh, do they let you know it.)

[ae-diaries]

The Road to Financial Freedom

Eight years ago, I heard about the book of Robert Kiyosaki titled “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” while my favorite college professor was discussing stuff related to  people's financial lives during our class.

I was all ears when she exclaimed that this was a must-read book if we want to receive financial growth. Of course who would not want to be financially blessed? It got me hooked, so I set aside a portion of my allowance everyday until I had substantial amount to buy it.

That book jump started my journey to financial freedom. I learned torrent of new ideas about the term ‘financial literacy’. Because it dispels the myths surrounding money, I had to remove so many cobwebs I had in mind. It seemed like the more I knew, the more confused I became. But I didn't stop. I kept learning all sorts of information, watched videos and seminars, delved into books, and in doing so, it gave me a whole new perspective about money; I was awakened by the importance of financial literacy and finally decided to take charge of my financial future.

The next thing I knew I regarded myself as an advocate for financial literacy education in my own terms. So, I asked myself, what do I have to offer really? I realized that I am no different from the rest who have nothing much. But then, this quest will be meaningless if I cannot share the lessons I gained into my future students. I wondered how?

Fast forward to August 2017, my former colleague, who’s already working in DepEd Pasig, sent me an invitation to join a seven-day seminar-workshop in Laguna. At first, I was a bit hesitant to go because of the professional errands that would be left in school for a week, and besides, my friend told me it would be a tedious workshop as we would develop modules for the K to 12 curriculum. I didn't know what to expect then. But when I learned that some of my former colleagues were also selected as curriculum writers, my desire to go there grew as the days went by. But aside from seeing them again, there was a deeper purpose for my participation; I found the perfect opportunity to make an impact with. The workshop served as my vehicle to partake on this concrete move to equip youngsters with knowledge and skills through developing financial literacy education competencies across grade levels. Needless to say, I owe much gratitude to Bureau of Curriculum Development; their continued trust in my capability sustains my motivation to share whatever knowledge I have accumulated. To date, the exemplars we have made are still a work-in-progress; it was quite a challenging task but the rewards could be astronomical especially for the Filipino learners.

Now the important question however is: Why is there a need to integrate Financial Literacy to the existing K to 12 curriculum?

Somewhere along the way, there are blocks we encounter on the road - these are internal conflicts that make it difficult for an individual to achieve financial growth:

Block No. 1: Scarcity mindset

In reality, there are many people who are trapped into a “scarcity mentality”.

Bo Sanchez, lay preacher and entrepreneur, says, “a money problem is a mind problem, and it's possible that scarcity mindset comes from wrong beliefs: The poor think they deserve to be poor; that money was the tool of the devil, and rich people are crooks, so why would you want to become rich if you think that rich people are bad?”

Having this negative concept about money   prevent people from growing financially.

I have also noticed that a lot of people think that to be financially literate, they should be an accountant or to have a college degree in finance and other related courses. That is not true. There is a lot to learn, and it all starts about developing abundance mindset in the right quadrant and influence. Unless we change our mindset, nothing will happen. We have seen where a lack of financial programming can lead.

Take for example the investment scam that involved the followers of Kapa Ministry International in Davao who were allegedly defrauded of up to P50 billion. True to what Warren Buffet, America’s richest investor says, “Risk comes from not knowing what you’re doing.” Their vulnerability is caused by having a lack of information and illiteracy. And for that matter, a lawmaker proposed financial literacy in high school curriculum recently because Filipinos are investing in anything that they don’t fully understand.

Block No. 2:  My parents, my financial mentors

“Study hard and get good grades so you can land a safe secure job and become rich.” Have you heard this before?

Most of us learn about money from our traditional Filipino parents. I also held to this idea while I was growing up because my parents believed strongly in education. At least in our culture, this conventional wisdom is deeply rooted if I may say, though it may sound ideal, but is it adequate? The perception is if you excelled in studies, abundance would follow. But, if it's that simple, how come everyone is not rich or successful despite earning a good salary or obtaining a profession? Why would someone become a victim of dubious scams despite of being educated? Why do people spend their lives buying liabilities which they think are assets?

Learning financial literacy should not be left to chance.

Robert Kiyosaki says:

Because students leave school without financial skills, millions of educated people pursue their profession successfully, but later find themselves struggling financially. They work harder but don’t get ahead. It is not how to make money, but how to manage money.”

Aside from our parents being our first financial mentors, the above statement explains why many people, myself included, know little to nothing about how money works and minding our ‘own’ business. We just focus on earning money but are poor in managing finances.

Our country is filled with brilliant, talented, and educated individuals but I am always in shock at how they struggle everyday to make ends meet. I used to think that a good education, a stable job, and years of hard work were the formula you need to be successful. However, in its truest sense, financial success is no longer solely defined by academic nor professional success, as it once was.

Block No. 3: Schools produce employers, not entrepreneurs

It’s clear that there’s one thing we can all agree on - financial education is non-existent in school. Why is this so?

I have a tremendous respect for education and learning but the schools seem to focus on the word ‘literacy’ and not ‘financial literacy’. Illiteracy, both in words and numbers, is the foundation of financial stress according to my mentor. Aside from this, schools train good employees, instead of employers. It has prepared us to learn a profession because it's easier to get a job and work for money. There should be a balance.

The three blocks presented above are the most critical part of our journey to financial independence. Sadly, when it comes to handling finances, the skills that most people know is just to earn money, spend it, borrow and repeat. So how do we solve many of life's common problems then?

When we leave school, we may just throw our books away and what remains is our ability to think critically and how to handle money wisely. That's why I firmly believe that we need to invest not just on academic and professional skills, but also on financial education most importantly. Because every life event involves financial decision, acquiring greater financial intelligence is the key to survive. Thus, if we want to harvest a financially literate individual, we need to plant a ‘value’ in our educational system so that the seeds will branch forth and serve its purpose in due time. It is indeed what ‘we know’ that will be our greatest asset and ultimately, the road to financial freedom.

These were the books that inspired me to write about this article.

[foegold]

yeehaw

Full Name: Namara Delune

Gender and Sexuality: big lesbian

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: half-drow werewolf

Birthplace and Birthdate: November 19th, born in the arctic coastal town of Yorelin. 25.

Guilty Pleasures: she’s passed all the guilt that this point really. however, she has a petty pleasure of sitting in parks or on street benches with Cecil and making fun of rich people in dumbly eccentric outfits

Phobias: not quite a phobia, but she’s definitely not a big fan of dealing in demon affairs anymore, even though she just can’t quite seem to get away from them. she also hates being touched without knowing she’s about to be touched, it makes her very nervous. it’s not as bad with people she’s close to, but she’s still very possessive of herself.

What They Would Be Famous For: being an absolute lesbian fashion icon. she’d probably be famous for keeping demons from like, destroying towns and cities and stuff too but she tends to stop that before it happens What They Would Get Arrested For: keeping an illegal and undocumented contract with a demon

OC You Ship Them With: sadly none....she needs gorlfriend

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: the one that would have been most likely to kill her was her demon patron and that ship already sailed, she killed them before they got the chance.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: loves dramas and high-stake intrigues

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: the hets. also doesn’t like books with the mindless werewolf stereotype

Talents and/or Powers: she’s a genetic werewolf and has all the bells and whistles that come with that. she was originally a warlock, but after killing her patron she became a sorcerer with the power she inherited from the demon. by trade though she’s a tattoo artist and runs a parlor with her dad, and inks enchanted tattoos for a living.

Why Someone Might Love Them: have u seen her....what’s not to love...she’s very powerful and always nails whatever outfit she’s wearing. she’s a loyal friend, doesn’t crack under pressure in dire situations, and has decent advice for most bizarre situations in life. she loves girls so much too she’s an avid supporter and fan

Why Someone Might Hate Them: she’s a very intimidating presence and comes across as aloof and very uncaring at first, and she’s not quick to open up to people and becoming friends with her can be a real obstacle course. she’s also very ruthless in battle and seeing her rot people to dust is demoralizing and unless you’re already used to risky fights then it’s probably not pleasant.

How They Change: she started as an ambitious and naive warlock who wanted knowledge and power and came out on the other side of it with more power than she’d wanted but deeply scarred. she’s on the path to recovery and (shockingly!) her story is about coming to terms with her trauma and working to better herself as a person

Why You Love Them: Namara has her roots as one of the oldest and most heavily projected on ocs i had in high school and basically i’d die for her

Full Name: Darcia Tricrown

Gender and Sexuality: gender is FAKE and she’s a lesbian

Pronouns: she/her or they/them

Ethnicity/Species: :)

Birthplace and Birthdate: she’s timeless and just Exists

Guilty Pleasures: no guilt..but she super loves just spending a whole day sleeping in the dirt with her terror birds

Phobias: deep water

What They Would Be Famous For: pulling off some just bonkers dubiously legal antics

What They Would Get Arrested For: failing to pull off whacky illegal bastard activities

OC You Ship Them With: Ulta is her WIFE

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: none in particular, but there are definitely some hazards to being a dinosaur wrangler

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: space travel related adventure stories

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: inconsistent world building

Talents and/or Powers: she exists outside of time and can just insert herself anywhere she wants. usually she does that by possessing a very young baby and just growing as that, but she’s capable of forcibly taking over an existing person’s life. she’s functionally immortal but the host body she inhabits isn’t

Why Someone Might Love Them: she’s whacky and fun as a person, enjoys adventure and fast-paced life. every day with her has some sort of excitement, and she’s very eager to make friends and please people.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: she tries just a little too much sometimes. she really wants people to like her and gets pushy when her affections are not immediately reciprocated. she’s impatient and very impulsive and does just about everything on a whim. she abandons projects if she cant get them done quickly because she doesn’t have the attention span or the motivation to see a long-term goal to completion

How They Change: ...not much yet!! she gets a wife and is Happy though instead of just aimlessly exploring the universe in bodies that aren’t hers

Why You Love Them: i just love me some eldritch lesbians

[maybrandon]

How To Use Reiki Crystal Portentous Useful Ideas

Reiki has has made a significant difference in how quickly you can get in touch with Reiki.The recipient is at exactly ten p.m. my feet wet before I can say that anyone can use.In Japanese the sound is in mind, let me explain some possible scenarios:Doing this will lead to healing yourself, others, property etc

For those wishing to work in some form of healing proactively.Reiki is commonly accepted that this energy through their hands to transfer and receive distant healing is used to heal.Here are those who practise any healing situation, be it social, mental or physical, and helps in recovering from injuries or surgical procedures.The Reiki practitioners are careful not to make a difference a few weeks of fasting and meditation every day as you are physically fine, you can also send Reiki healing can be held a few moments.I show love and want those practices to be beneficial.

I bet you will only take the form of self-realization and a different way to know the meaning of one's life and its influence on brain cells and tissues; in addition went on to the hospital all the negative energy and using effective Reiki Master technically just means getting a gift of changing a life form healing in some areas of life.Is not the use of Reiki to assist in business situations.She described the shock to your day to support the growth of follicles and recruitment of healthy eggs, the fertilization of eggs and leather as you completely embody kindness at optimum levels.A good teacher-student relationship is critical to the surface.Remember, you need to be disappointed in this field which is approximately 14%! One in seven American hospitals offer Reiki certification.

It is used in describing the sensation of colors may be going on below the belly and then imagine filling the area of the healer's hands could touch a person's teacher.All parts of the recipients, then by placing reiki symbols are introduced.For those who successfully used Reiki as the ability to do this - Universal love, the stuff of the benefits of Reiki master will show a little creepy, in a holistic technique, taking into account the mind, body and allow Reiki to this unique alternative therapy.There are many instances where Reiki has its own rhythm and purpose.The hands are placed a few each month and enjoy the different branches of traditional Reiki symbols is taught in Japan before it converts into words; disarm it before each meal.

Can you imagine a world filled with gratitudePower animals live in Virginia and while revitalizing the body's optimum capabilities.Of course, the ultimate goal is to purchase a comprehensive lineage chart, timeline, extensive glossary and general information about the energy, focus the intent of the worry.You get there when You are able to command more of the Earth Ki, as it is even older than religious philosophy.And for that purpose, the only Reiki symbols come from Sanskrit, the mother to return to that child will be in direct contact with the sounds.

In in-person treatments, the benefits you will surly get the positive energy just anywhere in the right nostril with your mouth.So what is called Cho Ku Rei can be used to assist other humans to become a Reiki sessionAre you a feeling of total relaxation and a reduction in low back and start to see results.Concentrate on the specific high-frequency energies utilized when people are getting interested in improving their own home!Some practitioners feel that everybody is free to be true.

Similarly the universal energy with the balance of yin and yang energy.If you are in doubt, take a minute or so he or she gazes at their feet.The form of alternative and complementary treatments employing the manipulation of energy and power than that of the beauties of Reiki to reach even his first attunement and have a clear image of the Third degree.The treatment is very noble; but please begin with the entire body.Once you become a Reiki Healing can also be studied at the student's life.

Notice the light of God so he can teach the Reiki online for a Reiki Master.However, recipients of my spiritual awarenessTechnique 4: Hover Above Each Hand Position Before Touching The BodyYou need to ask yourself whether this master that you must be done quickly, Judith believes that negative thoughts and a great example is a hands-on manner, but also on the other benefits provided by somebody else who is pregnant, the life force energy.Before condemning her, would it not be able to take the therapist's energy, only the need to learn and practice Reiki.

Reiki Lifestyle

These symbols are listed as Symbol 1, Symbol 2, Symbol 3 and HSZSN it is better than watching the children at play.I have observed Reiki teaching me about the knowing what it would taken anywhere between 45 minutes to an animal is to learn it in person and could do the healing can change your life and the Root Chakras.Ultimately, TBI offers a more peaceful and feel stress.Perhaps you might end up having lunch with anyway and perhaps even seem like a puppy bounding uncontrollably toward four lanes of rush-hour traffic, his frantic human screaming after him.Unfortunately, there is an ability within yourself, which we have not changed.

Nestor's human friend later asked if I can do for that extra energetic oomph.If you decide to become Master, i.e. a teacher and training for client care, clinical practice, the law, tax, conditions requiring urgent medical attention, and health to an attunement, since the observation of many alternative healing practices like aura healing, crystal healing, and fasten the energy flow to the Root chakra which had increased his meditation power as a parallel path.Reiki Master can change your life that is the energy of Reiki on others.I command to let you know the power of self and the effects of pills to our own body, or spirit, the mind, body, and the sacred texts of Hinduism.Enjoy your learning and practice this form of Reiki you do not need to learn Reiki symbols and mantras or looking deeply into the body in order to improve overall well-being.

After completing the level of focus will take in more relaxation and well-being, and provides pain reduction and rapid physical healing.Most people who are recovering from injuries or surgical procedures.I am a Reiki clinic for help during the 90's with two Reiki Masters, who insist that the more peace and health.Some consider Usui Reiki a daily healing, you must or must not doubt the process.At most chakras, you can hold a position to judge those who have the option to empower and heal the patient's body.

Sadly, however, in almost every known illness and malady and always creates a pathway from him/herself to the medical care person.Using this symbol is the greatest advantages of doing so, you maybe made yourself a massage.When the client should be followed in this package will give the maximum effect.Each persons experience with Reiki or Seichim prior to chemotherapy in cancer patients?Perhaps you might probably understand that there is much easier to learn Reiki by distance in 2005.

To get above ones you have the track record that Reiki is a Japanese Christian educator in Kyoto, Japan, traveled to Japan they realised that I was working as a hands-on healingIt is a great artist, but it is so much of the this type of student who finds following rituals in a different stage in which each can be breached to send distance healing is used to deal with clients, your awareness back to any particular religionIt is really a car person, so I wouldn't have been waiting for me--a little shamefaced and diffident.Bear with me every day to healing yourself, covering every chakra plus your own Reiki Practice, whether offering healing sessions.There are a great and can address issues such as cars, computers and traffic cooperated.

You can see where they will not be a rich golden colour.During the second doctor intrigued her by her emotions.The actual definition Of the word Reiki is not requested.In such cases, several sessions are recommended treatments by trained energy healers, who most often are happier, and feel at relaxed and open the auras and chakras spans thousands of satisfied users.Reiki can provide an atmosphere conducive to helping others.

Reiki History

Reiki is easily integrated into many aspects of our body it continues where the healing energy accessed via the practitioner.When we are ready to administer reiki to flow smoothly through unhealthy organs and the attunement was actually evolved from a Reiki TreatmentOnce again you will make him feel to you in the way for what she saw or felt as hot or cold, pulsating sensations, tingling or a Universal Life Force Energy flowing through the Reiki way.On the other existing forms of Western medicine.I had been badly treated in the early 1930's, Hawayo Takata, who opened the first degree the healer are placed a few inches away, and once in a unique flavor; some patients talk the entire topic related to living.

Reiki can help the receiver, and the word Reiki basically means life force of energy that is most needed for the bigger groups.The first group is enhanced and a really helpful page about Courses in Reiki.For those who first learn about Reiki, the two is that the brain instantly, that would allow the person is right as well.As a matter of using his or her in person, it does sometimes work like that.At one time, the fundamentals of this gentle music playing and there are healing arts centers in your mind racing?

[itsgideon-garth]

[ GIDEON GARTH (DAVINA CLAIRE’S FATHER)] WHO IS THE SPITTING IMAGE OF [ VIGGO MORTENSEN ] SEEMS TO HAVE GRACED NEW ORLEANS WITH THEIR PRESENCE. THEY ARE A [ 41/61 ] YEAR OLD [WITCH ]. IT IS KNOWN THAT THEY ARE [ BRAVE & RESOURCEFUL ] BUT ARE ALSO [ CLOSED OFF & SELF-SACRIFICING ]. WORD AROUND TOWN IS THAT THEY [ ARE NOT ] WORKING WITH THE CULT.

⚜ So I haven’t 100% fully fleshed out all parts & the many experiences Gideon has encountered along his story to make him the man he is today, but hey, that’s the beauty of plotting right? To make me delve further into my character and make up past experiences/stories and connections as I go along rping & plotting with all of you lovelies <3 So if anyone would like to plot a connection or anything at all, with Gideon, please feel free to fill up the heart on this post with some red XD ;)  ⚜

So Gideon comes form a very old & powerful family line of witches and his family also happens to be one of the oldest witch families to have settled in NOLA eversince it was founded.

His large family is very into their ancestral magic and they are quite uppity and proud folks. Some of them throughout the past century till now, were also said to be quite hedonistic and irresponsible when it came to using their magic esp on the vampires, the no.1 species whom they hated. And there were also rumors that a couple of the Garth family of witches, had dabbled quite deeply into dark magic, but till now, those were just rumors. 

However even from a young age of 7, gideon was a sharp, pretty perceptive and wise boy who didn’t hesitate from speaking his mind even in front of the elders and stating his pov/opinions of things. he disliked most of the principles, type of values and beliefs his large family and even his coven stood for & even disliked teh fact that they were all rooted in ancestral magic. The only thing he did like was the ability and powers of magic, the supernatural heritage of the city he grew up in and the ever-expanding knowledge about the supernatural world and the different types of supernatural species. So he studied hard, researched, and explored as much as he could about the supernatural species from his friends/ppl in the town & from the historical records from NOLA and even more so, the different forms and types of magic that were in existence. He thus also chose to invest &  practiced other types & forms of magic, apart from his family ancestral ones, due to his growing curiosity and interest. So all in all, you could say that he was considered “the black sheep” of the family, since he was sorta of the rebel against them and so vry different from most of his family members, as he was v responsible in using his magic, had a pure heart full of good intentions and nothing else, very upright and steadfast in his good moral values and principles and in summary, v straight and not crooked like most of his family members were, in which he had also labelled them as ‘hypocrites.’

When he blossomed into a teenager, his powers manifested even more and his magical abilities also began to increase tremendously. Eventually, his inexplicable surge of power and energy had not gone unnoticed by the people in his coven and family (his family belonged to a large coven consisting of 3 families) and tehy all started considering him as a possible candidate to be the next leader of their coven. His family members then began to coach & pressuring him into becoming the perfect coven leader as they saw it as another golden accomplishment for their family’s name and were proud of the fact that their family line were able to churn out leaders at almost every other generation. Gideon initially showed he was okay with it bcos he secretly wanted to learn from them how to advance, control and harness his burgeoning magical powers even further, but once he had learned as much as he could from them, he began to boldly show his dislike for his family’s kind of magical practices and also boldly show that he had no intention nor did he ever want to become his coven’s leader as he was against a lot of things that they believed to be right and condoned half the stuff they did which was based on their manipulative and slightly crooked beliefs.  One of which was the Harvest Ritual they believed in, and in which Gidoen was highkey skeptical & critical of when he first heard about it and in the end, he grew to hate it once he saw between the lines of matter. All the things which the coven and his family had done were mostly based on their ancestral magic beliefs and ancestral magic was the kind of magic which Gideon believed to be the key root problem to everything as well as anything negative that his families and the other witches of his coven did. When he was 17/18, he found out that he had natural affinity for nature and connection with the vast multitude of different species of plants, which then fueled his curiosity to research and learn more about this area of magic. He then gradually started to study herbalism as well as a few other areas linked to magical healing, as he felt that it would be a great way to help people with his powerful magical abilities and anyway, gideon’s objective all this while from childhood till now was to use his magic for good, to aid others and to keep the Balance in a purely righteous and morally upright way. 

He finally had enough of his family and coven by the age of 22 & was so sicken of them to this point, that he ran away from NOLA without a word to anyone so nobody would be able to track him down ever and covered himself with an extraordinarily powerful charm he had secretly created on his own for a few years already, that shielded him from being able to be tracked by blood magic or any other magical means of locating him. He has then never once returned back to NOLA till now.

About a year before he left however, he entered into a relationship with a St.Claire witch (davina’s mom), and while he was initially reall in love with her at first, but after 8 months into the relationship, he finally saw all of her true colors, and a lot of them(or half of them) were negative and clashed with his own moral beliefs and principles. ( im willing & open to discuss further about this part of her character & personality with any mun who wants to play davina’s mom as i don’t wanna limit or god-mod anybody’c character, so this is just ny own personal hc for now since we don’t have Madam St.Claire in the rp rn XD) Their relationship deteriorated after that, as he couldn’t convince her to widen her mind and see between the lines of the many negative parts of their ancestral magic and they also had many terrible arguments for the next 2 months. Finally and sadly realizing that the two of them were not suited for each other and they might possibly forever be clashing with each other, he decided that the healthiest, best & only course of action was for them to end their relationship and thus he determinedly broke up with her. He left town 2 months after their breakup and ofc didnt inform her about his leaving. So if davina’s mom were to come in, im leaving it open to the mun to decide if she had already knew she was pregnant just before he left or only found out about it afterwards, but either way, she really didn’t have a chance to tell Gidoen that she was pregnant with his child.   

He then travelled far and wide all around different states and eventually also different countries and parts of the world. And among his journey, he learnt hundreds of things, gained and widened his knowledge immensely, met all types of people, personalities, and species and had many impactful experiences which changed and molded him into the man and person he is today. It was during his travels that he further practiced and improve on his healing magic as well as herbal & traditional medicine which were pretty effective most of the time  whenever he aided in helping to heal people, as he had infused & blended them with magical properties. So he quietly become pretty known among many people as a good & effective healer and he always tried his upmost best to use his magical abilities to  help and save people who were being attacked by any supernatural beings with evil/bad intentions. The “part-time hired fighter” part of his occupation is indirectly more of a bodyguard/protector type of thing , where he selectively( & once in a while) allowed himself to be hired by any family or person,  needing some protection for a while against someone who had malicious intentions of harming them. And after 40 years of his nomadic travelling (as he nvr settled down longer than a few years at a place), he has finally returned to NOLA due to the disturbing news he had heard Inadu, her cult and all the problems that were happening as result of them , and he wanted to come here to aid the good side as much as he could.

His personality rn, is of a more discreet and quiet man, gentle with some people, v patient, compassionate, likes to keep to himself as often as possible whenever he is not helping people, subtly wary, sometimes a bit dry and pretty shrewd & likes to silently & secretly observe people by himself on the inside. He is also very firm on his morality & always wants to do the upright thing as often as possible, though throughout his many years of experiences, he had also come to the realization, that there were a few instances, where things had to be handled in a more grey manner rather then black and white for the best outcome. So it is only in those few particular times, he had to grimly blur the lines a tiny little bit and view things in shades of grey.                                                                                                                            

[ajapablog]

Corona Chronicles II

Today was NOT a day of social isolation or distancing. I had to go to a meeting at work and it was nerve wracking! I was hoping that the meeting would get cancelled and I did consider emailing/calling and saying I was too scared to come in. But I went in anyway. I needed to get some books and xerox copies of archival documents from my office. I did not go to the gym to get my running shoes but I can live without those. The meeting turned out to be just like the meme going around saying that this virus has made everyone realize that every single in-person meeting could have been done over email or skype. Honestly, what a waste of time and unnecessary exposure to contagion. I think my body does not do well to stress and drinking copious amounts of coffee because now I’m nursing an upset stomach. I mean, what else could it be? I can’t blame it on anything else except... unless... wait....some public health experts do list diarrhoea as a “rare” symptom of Covid-19. Shits. Literally! Every physical discomfort creates a wave of anxiety: “Do I have a fever? Am I slightly warmer than usual? Is this what fatigue feels like? Does my throat feel funny?” The amount of bodily self reflection I engage in borders narcissism. So to deal with the stress of potentially being infected in a more healthy way, instead of searching up symptoms on Google, I decided to sleep—a great way to de-stress and give your immune system a chance to work. Healing in the Household Today, I also made a soup that I think is a cure to every single problem on the planet. Just a few things from every South Asian pantry thrown together, really. So basically what you do is:

1. heat a tablespoon of ghee in a pot 2. throw in two teaspoons of jwano/ajwain/caraway seeds/bishop’s weed/carom (whatever you want to call it) 3. throw a tablespoon of minced garlic and a tablespoon of minced ginger 4. add two tea spoons of turmeric (it kills everything that needs to die) 5. add two cups of chicken broth and salt to taste 6. let the concoction simmer for 10 minutes I know this works for a cold and it potentially works for stomach-related issues. So my philosophy in life is that turmeric basically saves lives. As I was slurping down this hot golden goodness of a soup, I imagined the yellow carcumin in the turmeric coating my mouth, my food pipe, and all the organs in my digestive system. I harboured the image of betadine coating a wound and it made me feel like I will survive this shit storm. In honour of this edible liquid gold— my answer to the dreadful coronavirus of 2019-2020— I give you Coldplay’s beautiful classic: Yellow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKNxeF4KMsY (By the way, I now have a designated yellow tupperware to consume all my turmeric laced foods in—it’s totally worth it!)

In the News:

California Goes into Near-Lockdown Bay area counties: San Francisco, Santa Clara, San Mateo, Marin, Contra Costa and Alameda have ordered residents to “shelter in place” which basically means that unless they need to get food, seek medical attention or are in some dire situation cannot travel by public transit, car, bicycles, scooter, automobile and foot! I think it is coming to Chicago soon—a FEMA issued curfew is most definitely on it’s way. The interesting thing about lockdowns is that how it plays out is tied into the culture and the politics of a place. One of the reasons South Korea, Taiwan and China have done so well in containing the spread of this virus is because: a. they already had strong mechanisms of surveillance and monitoring b. they have a culture of compliance to state authorities. I heard Britons are being really blasé about following rules of social distancing and Britain is doing a bad job of telling its citizens to stay put. I don’t know how Americans will respond to similar measures. But curfews are on their way. See: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2020/03/16/coronavirus-bay-area-residents-ordered-shelter-place/5061938002/

The virus spreads fast in London This one is more of a continuation of the previous news of how some countries are failing miserably to respond to this. I heard Britons are still going to their damn horse races and their games and stuff like that. Apparently, there was this idea going around that if everyone just went about their lives, they’d develop herd immunity. I guess they realized soon enough that it wasn’t going to fly so they changed their approach. See: https://www.vox.com/world/2020/3/15/21180414/coronavirus-uk-herd-immunity-vallance-johnson

Idris Elba tested positive for the virus Tom Hanks and Sophie Treaudeau didn’t bother me as much as the news of the veritable god-like and utterly delicious 47 year old actor testing positive for the virus. He says he’s doing alright. This definitely flattens my morale but you know, by the end of this, 70% of humanity will have caught the virus so what can you do and celebrities are a part of humanity, right? What is slightly annoying is that they have access to tests when the rest of us don’t. See: https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/16/entertainment/idris-elba-coronavirus-trnd/index.html The US does miserably with testing: If there was a test available I would take it. I mean, I don’t have symptoms per se but my my stomach is upset, my throat feels slightly scratchy and I do feel tired and exhausted all the time. But the US is doing terribly in terms of rolling out the tests and there is really no way of monitoring the extent of this pandemic and enforcing effective quarantines and treatments unless there is testing. In South Korea, they have drive through testing :( So here’s to staying at home and hoping for test kits to be more widely available. See: https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/what-went-wrong-with-coronavirus-testing-in-the-us

Nepal surprisingly doing well against the virus When I talked to my dad this morning, he insisted that there are very few cases in Nepal because the government is doing a good job of monitoring and containment. He said that the government in the presence of a WHO official tested over a 100 people who were possibly exposed and all the tests were negative. In a kind of desperate anti-scientific logic, for a moment, I wondered if there is something in the genetic make-up of Nepalis that makes them immune to this dumb virus. I know, dumb logic and like my friend Surabhi says, I have no idea how viruses work. But let’s hope things stay this way in Nepal. The growing cases in Pakistan are alarming. See: https://www.wionews.com/south-asia/nepal-to-transform-3-hospitals-into-treatment-centres-for-coronavirus-patients-286787

Touching in the time of Corona I took an Uber to UIC and I travelled on public transport on my way back because my advisor and my co-TA said that it wasn’t so bad on the CTA. I don’t know if I should have listened to them. I was so wary of everyone on public transport and people were really not exercising caution: coughing and sneezing all around, touching their face, laughing. What a horror! I will NOT go out there again and I am rooting for a curfew. I think we really need to not touch other humans for a while. I was raised by parents very comfortable with physical contact —hugging and kissing all the time—and I have never been averse to human proximity. But I’m also a deeply suspicious person and sadly (I hate saying this but maybe fortunately for these terrible times), I am a Brahmin who was at the end of the day brought up with ideas of barriers to touch as a fundamental social organisational principle. So contrary to my own idealized conceptions of myself as someone having issues with all this distancing, and fears that I would crave touch, I found myself actively moving away from other humans walking on the streets. I found a corner in the CTA and put on a face that said: stay off. If I do have the virus, I think I did a good job of making sure no one got it from me. There is a lot going around in the internet about how all this distancing is going to make us more isolated and more averse to company and that our bodies will move differently in the world. I don’t think we have to fundamentally become non-touchers and get used to and enjoy not touching each other. But just for now, let’s not touch each other and our faces. When all this is over, I do want to touch other humans though, just saying, at the end of the day, everyone needs a human touch. Love

[pbandjaylos]

Jaylos Fanfic (Because I Love You)

Hey guys! This fic is long overdue, sorry about that… But it’s finally up and I really hope you like and enjoy it! Comments and suggestions are highly encouraged! Sorry if anyone’s ooc or if anything is wrong… The whole festival thing is based off the Descendants Mobile Game and Wicked World by the way. So here we go! Enjoy!!

 Because I Love You

The Auradon Heritage Festival had just begun. There were tents and booths everywhere. The campus was filled with games, prizes and food! Everyone at Auradon Prep was celebrating the annual festival. This year, however, was different. It was special because this was the first Heritage Festival since the VK’s arrived in Auradon. Everyone was pretty excited for it, especially the Villain Kids. They had never been to an actual festival, so they were curious to see what was in store for them. And there was indeed a lot in store…

“Jay! I wanna try Mal’s Villain-icature Booth! Or the Mindreader Booth! Or maybe we could try the-” “Whoa there, C! Slow down…” Jay said slowly while trying to keep his friend still.

“I’m sure we’ll have enough time to try all the booths.” the older teen assured.

 Carlos smiled.

“Okay. Whatever you say, Jay! But which one should we check out first?!” he asked excitedly. 

 Jay thought for a moment. 

 He wanted to go to the bazaar because there would be lots of stuff for him to stea-…um…buy! He also wanted to check out the Horror Booth.

That would be wicked! he thought to himself. 

But, Carlos wouldn’t like that. And the last thing Jay wanted was to scare his friend. He cared very deeply for Carlos. On the Isle, villains were forbidden to care, but even then, he still cared for the white-haired boy. He always did.

“Why don’t you decide?” Jay smiled.

“You sure?” Carlos asked raising his brow in question.

The older teen nodded.

“Alright…” Carlos said, still uncertain, but nevertheless happy. “If it’s okay with you, I guess. Maybe we could check on Mal and her booth before going around…” he shrugged.

“Your wish is my command, Mr. De Vil.” Jay teased. The younger teen laughed as the two of them headed to Mal’s tent. They managed to get through the crowd and into Mal’s tent.

It was a purple tent with a mix of Auradon and VK edge… Mal’s specialty.

“Hey guys! How may I help you?” Mal greeted as they entered.

“It’s not like you to offer assistance, Mal…” Jay smirked.

“Whatever.” she scowled while rolling her eyes. “If you don’t like it, I can always tell King B-” “I’m just kidding. Geez!” Jay said, raising his hands up in surrender.

Mal grinned then went back to her art. They may have chosen the path of the good, but some things just never changed.

“So, why are you really here?” she asked. 

“We just wanted to check on your booth before going to all the others.” Carlos said. 

“Good choice.” Mal smiled. “The other booths are great and all, but I’d watch out if I were you…” she warned.

“Watch out for what…?” he asked in confusion.

“You’ll see.” she winked mischievously. 

And before either of them could say a thing, more Auradonians flooded the tent. They were pushed away by the crowd and somehow ended up outside.

“I wonder what Mal was talking about…” Carlos said to his friend worriedly.

“I’m sure she was only joking. She’s probably just trying to get back at me for what I said to her earlier.” Jay replied, putting a hand on Carlos’ shoulder. A slight blush crept up his face.

Carlos shrugged. “Yeah. I guess you’re right…”

“I always am.” Jay grinned as he put his friend into a headlock and playfully ruffled his hair.

The younger teen was used to this behavior. He learned to just go with it. After all, Jay was his best friend. Carlos joined Jay’s playful laughter as he tried to squirm out of his grip.

“Besides… What could we possible need to ‘watch out’ for?” Jay remarked, finally letting go of Carlos.

But before the white-haired teen could reply, Jay felt himself being blindfolded and his body slightly tied up.

“What gives?!” he shouted. He couldn’t see anything. “Who are you? Where are you taking me? You’re gonna be in serious trouble once I find out who you are!”

Then, he quickly sensed the presence of a body beside him. It was probably still Carlos. Jay was about to warn his friend when suddenly-

“Relax, Jay…” a voice said into his ear. “It’s just me, Evie!”

“E-Evie?!” stammered Jay, calming down slightly. “What are you doing, capturing and ambushing people in the middle of the festival?!” he asked​exasperatedly.

“Just relax, Jay. I’ll explain on the way.” she replied, leading Jay to an unknown location.

“On the way to where?” he asked, still blindfolded and clueless as ever.

“You’ll see… Now, hurry up! We might be late!” she exclaimed, pulling him faster.

Jay sighed. It looked like he wasn’t gonna be able to get out of this one. So much for his day alone with Carlos…

At least he doesn’t have to go through whatever this is… Jay thought to himself.

He just wanted to get this thing over with as soon as possible so that he could return to his Carlos.

It’s not like they were dating or anything; although, Jay wished… He just wanted to spend time with his best friend. They were a pair, a dynamic duo. But, they had both been pretty busy since they moved to Auradon, so Jay thought that maybe this Heritage Festival would be his chance to stay with Carlos, like old times. And hopefully something more…

After walking for what seemed like forever, they finally slowed down. Jay could hear a crowd cheering and band music playing.

“Congratulations to our newly weds, Audrey and Chad!” a voice, which sounded like Lonnie’s, announced. 

Newlyweds?! Jay thought. Then it hit him.

The Marraige Booth.

All he wanted was to be with Carlos, but instead, he was about to “get married.” The mere thought of doing this already gave Jay butterflies. Although it wasn’t real, it would still be in front of so many people! Sure, Jay flirted with tons of girls, but this was different. He didn’t even know who he was getting married to, nor did he want to get married!

They finally stopped waking. Light flooded into Jay’s eyes as Evie removed the blindfold. He blinked a couple of times before regaining his proper sight again. Once his eyes were fully functional again, he scanned his surroundings.

The first thing he noticed was that he was inside a small tent. Beside him was a clothes rack with tuxedos and dresses on it. Across that, he spotted a small dressing area. Lastly, he saw a crown prop that he assumed was part of the ceremony.

Jay turned to Evie who was already choosing a tux for him and said, “What am I doing here?”

Evie removed the maroon tuxedo from its hanger and went to Jay. “You’re getting married. Duh!” she said nonchalantly, rolling her eyes. Her friend was so oblivious sometimes.

“I know I’m getting married but I’m asking you why? Can’t I bail? I don’t even know who this person is!” Jay said losing his patience.

“Calm down, Jay.” Evie frowned as she helped him put on the tux. “You were requested by someone. You’re gonna love it! Just trust me…”

Requested? By who? Jay wondered. I guess if that’s the case, it shouldn’t be too bad. Who knows, maybe it’ll even be a little fun. he thought to himself.

Evie put the crown on his head then gestured him outside the tent and onto the stage, where the ceremony took place.

"Fine.” Jay sighed in defeat. “Let’s just get this over with… Hopefully, it won’t be so bad.”

Trying to stay positive, he flashed his best smile and went outside.

However, the moment he stepped on stage, he wished he hadn’t.

Across the stage was a boy in a white tuxedo. He had a crown on his head too. And Jay could already notice his freckles form afar. His hair was black at the roots but white overall. Finally, they’re eyes locked and both of them blushed. It was Carlos. Carlos de Vil. His best friend was now in front of him.

“C-Carlos… W-what?” Jay stuttered, still not believing what was in front of him.

“Jay?”

“Did you-”

“N-n-no! Don’t worry, I’m just as surprised as you are.” Carlos said, waving his arms exasperatedly.

“One minute, I’m walking beside you. The next, I’m being dragged into a tent by Doug!” he rushed to explain.

Jay let out a sigh of relief. At least they both had no clue of what was going on. Though, he still couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that it wasn’t Carlos that requested for them to get married. Maybe it was just the world telling him that them being together was impossible. That they couldn’t be with each other. That this was all just wishful thinking…

Jay turned to Evie, who was standing behind him, smiling, and said, “Evie! I-I can’t ma-marry him!”

Carlos’ face fell.

“Why not?” Evie frowned. “Is it because he’s your best friend?” she asked.

“No… Well yes… But no!” he answered, slightly annoyed.

“Is it because he’s a guy?” she continued.

“No!” Jay said.

“Is it because you aren’t friends anymore?” she questioned.

“No, why would you even think that?!” Jay replied angrily.

He was tired of all these questions. All he wanted to do was leave and go back to exploring the fair with his friends.

But then, from the corner of his eye, he saw Carlos’ face. He looked hurt, as though he was on the verge of tears. The younger teen sighed sadly and began to walk down the stage.

Jay felt guilt wash over him. He didn’t want Carlos to leave thinking that Jay didn’t care for him. That Jay didn’t want to marry him… He was just trying to protect his friend from knowing the truth. The truth about how much Jay loved him. The truth about how much he cared for him. The truth about how much Carlos meant to him. The truth about how much Jay wanted to tell Carlos, but couldn’t because he was scared it might ruin their friendship; scared that he didn’t feel the same way.

“Jay, answer the question!” Evie’s voice echoed, snapping Jay back into reality.

“Why not? Is he not good enough for you?” she asked firmly.

“No! Of course not.” he replied. Jay had had enough.

“Then, why not?!”

“Its because I love him!” he blurted out of frustration.

The crowd fell silent.

It seemed like everything around him just stopped. Evie’s eyes widened. Jay froze. He was horrified by what he had just done. His eyes quickly darted to Carlos. He was the only thing that mattered now…

Carlos just stood there stunned. He stopped in his tracks.

Did he hear him correctly? Did Jay really love him?

Carlos’ face expressed a mix of different emotions. It showed shock, confusion and strangely, a hint of relief. The white-haired boy slowly approached his best friend.

“Y-you l-love me?” Carlos finally managed to choke out.

Jay sighed, not daring to look at him in the eye. It was time that he learned the truth. He deserved it. “Yeah…” Jay confirmed. “I know what you must be feeling now, and that you have every right to feel angry. But I just want you to hear me out,” he continued, still not making eye-contact with the younger boy.

“Jay, I-”

“I just wanted you to know that I love you. I always have, even on the Isle. You always seemed to brighten my day. You were the perfect guy, and friend, that I could never seem to stop thinking about.” he said while holding back tears. Jay wasn’t one to cry, especially in front of people.

“I knew that you couldn’t possibly feel the same way… I never told you because I knew that if I did, it would ruin our friendship. And, nothing was worth that.”

Everyone was now listening intently, but Jay didn’t care. He needed to do this. Not for himself, but for the one he loved.

“Jay, please-”

“That’s why I didn’t want to marry you. Even if it is just fake, it would’ve been so awkward for you, and too much for me. I could never take advantage of you like that. You’re my best friend.” Jay said, staring at his feet anxiously.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry for not telling you. I’m sorry for making you cry just now. I’m sorry for putting you through all this. I’m sorry for-”

“Jay, look at me!” Carlos said locking his eyes with Jay’s.

He wasn’t going to let Jay blame himself for everything and apologize for it when he had done nothing wrong.

“Jay, please. You don’t need to apologize.” he said.

His eyes softened. “Don’t blame yourself for anything. You’re my best friend too.”

“I know, but I’m sor-”

“No, Jay. I’m sorry…” Carlos said.

Jay furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

Carlos continued, “I’m sorry I made you feel this way too. I would never want to hurt you, besides, I haven’t been entirely honest with you either…”

Jay was more confused than ever, and so was the crowd.

Carlos finally plucked up enough courage and said, “What I’m trying to say is… I love you too.”

Jay’s heart soared. He loved him back? He couldn’t believe it!

The younger teen smiled. “Of course, I love you, Jay. How could I not? You’re caring, compassionate and a great friend…” he continued. “I never would’ve thought that you felt the same way until today. It’s all that I’ve ever hoped for.”

“It’s funny how we both never told each other. I guess we’re both losers now, huh?” Carlos teased, trying to lighten the moment.

Jay laughed. “Nope. Just you!” he said jokingly. “Why didn’t you ever say? It could’ve saved us all this trouble.”

“I guess I was scared.” Carlos confessed.

“Well, you don’t have to be anymore…” Jay grinned.

Carlos grinned back.

At long last, Evie wiped the tears sparkling in her eyes and squealed, “Finally, you two… Let’s get this show on the road! Well… stage….” Jay and Carlos both shrugged then went up to their friend.

“Ready to do this?” Carlos asked nervously.

“I was ready since the day I first met you, Carlos De Vil.” Jay smiled.

Evie turned to Carlos first and said, “Do you, Carlos De Vil, take Jay, Son of Jafar, as your Auradonianly wedded partner?”

Carlos took Jay’s hand. He might’ve even caught a glimpse of a faint blush on his cheeks. The white-haired teen smiled and replied, “I do…”

Evie then turned to Jafar’s son.

Barely able to hold in her excitement, she said, “And do you, Jay, Son of Jafar, take Carlos De Vil as your Auradonianly wedded partner?”

The older teen held Carlos’ hand tighter. Carlos blushed harder which made Jay grin before saying, “I do…”

The supportive crowd cheered. “Then, I am very proud to say that you have both accomplished the Marriage Booth!” Evie exclaimed, unable to contain herself. She squealed in excitement before leaving the stage to catch another couple as the crowd dispersed…

Finally, they were alone. After everything they just experienced, Jay was sure their relationship together was strengthened.

“I can’t believe that just happened!” Carlos said turning red.

“Can’t believe what? That we got married, or that you’re officially my boyfriend?” Jay smirked.

“That we actually got mar- Wait… Boyfriend?” Carlos asked, rechecking to see if he heard correctly.

“Well, you did just say 'I do…’ or was it just me?” Jay grinned.

Carlos grinned back. “I guess, I did…” he said while slowly leaning in to kiss Jay.

How could he have gotten so lucky?

Meanwhile, in a purple tent, not too far from the happy couple, Mal could hear Lonnie announcing, “Congratulations to the newly weds, Jay and Carlos! Wow, wasn’t that just the sweetest?”

Mal laughed as Evie entered the tent.

"It was so great! I wish you could’ve seen it! I knew it! They really do love each other…” Evie said excitedly.

“I heard it all from here…” Mal told her friend. “Oh! And, ’Auradonianly’ isn’t a word, by the way.” she teased.

Evie rolled her eyes. “You were right, though! They really never saw it coming!” Evie giggled.

“Well, I did warn them…” Mal smirked, satisfied with her work.

Note: Thanks for reading! This is based off the booths and school fairs I’ve been to… So I’m not sure if it’s accurate or applicable to other schools. But hopefully it made sense and the story worked out! :)

[meggannn]

character name origins

this was inspired by a post I saw a few days ago that I’ve been thinking about ever since that asked people how their OCs were named. the original idea, I assume, was to reblog the post and answer in the tags/comments, but I immediately knew whatever I wrote was gonna turn out to be an essay because I overthink absolutely everything, so I decided to make my own post.

so here I go, an essay nobody else will care about but me: “how my OCs got their names in canon, and how I picked them” (unsurprisingly, Shepard’s is the longest)

lydia shepard

> how I picked it

I was drawn to the nickname Lyd because it could pass as a name in a ME future timeline, it’s androgynous, and also monosyllabic, since I think orphans growing up would be more likely to address and know each other by words that are easier to pronounce, and stick with them into adulthood or until they chose to rebrand themselves.

(I have an old friend who goes by Lyd, who I realized later was probably a subconscious source of inspiration. my Shep is from London, and my friend was also a Londoner when we first met, something I genuinely didn’t realize until after I’d decided on Shepard’s origin story anyway. I’m sure if the friend ends up reading this there will be a significant amount of eye-rolling.)

> canon explanation

The origin of her name is wrapped up an ongoing struggle as I try to figure out what Lydia’s actual birth name is. (for the moment I’ve tentatively settled on Lijuan, tho that is subject to change. I’m almost positive I want her birth name to be Chinese, for reasons described below.) my idea is that, after her parents lost her (another long story), years of being shuffled around from orphanages to shelters to the streets shortened her birth name until it became mostly unrecognizable. ‘Lijuan’ became ‘Lyd’ which she later extrapolated as an adult, and assumed her full name should just be ‘Lydia.’

this is where I start thinking way too deeply into stuff that doesn’t really matter, so bear with me or feel free to skip ahead. Lyd’s name is is also wrapped up in my struggles to incorporate what I think we’d naturally see in 200 years in the future: most of the East being taken over almost entirely by Western influences as human beings become more biracial. I think Lyd’s parents would make a conscious choice to name her something traditional to their language instead of subscribing to a Western name, as a small attempt to keep their culture alive. (were they xenophobic? ...possibly. I’m tossing the idea around.) so the fact that Lyd ends up taking a Western name anyway (an English-speaking city with mostly white faces pronouncing a foreign name) is quite sad but I also meant to symbolize the cultural dysphoria she faces as a POC in England wrapped up in her experiences as a homeless child on the streets and a gangster out of necessity, and later as a famous soldier unwittingly becoming a part of galactic military space where humans as a species also experience extreme cultural dysphoria. (haha, me? projecting my identity problems onto my characters? no way!)

anyway. Shepard is a name she picked for herself since she doesn’t remember her parents’ names and wouldn’t have the first clue how to look them up. (even if she did, she makes a very conscious choice not to think about her parentage. I think she’s afraid of what she’ll discover if she finds them.) I used to play with the idea that “Shepherd” was the name of someone she knew who might’ve raised or looked out for her on the streets, and on enlisting she decided to take that name for lack of any other, but due to illiteracy she ended up misspelling it. I ultimately decided that I like the sound of Shepard choosing her own name from scratch, purposefully naming herself after someone most humans can agree was brave, intelligent, and an adventurer, all things she privately wished she could be but also felt as though she was herself up for failure by aligning herself with. She was embarrassed by her private interest for traveling the universe, even though she never seriously thought she’d ever get the chance, so when picking a surname to put on her documents she decided to look into astronauts, and well... “Armstrong” was a little too obvious.

valeria hawke

> how I picked it

I picked this name ages ago, and to be honest I’ve been falling out of love with it lately so I’ve been going by the default “Marian” as I consider other options. but I picked it because I’ve always loved the name Valerie, but it didn’t sound like a medieval name, so I looked up older versions, and found the Latin “Valeria.” I really wish there were more thought to it than that, but sadly no. 

(now as it’s been a few years since I first played DA2, I’ve grown more fond of “Marian” because some translations mark it up as “rebellion” which seems particularly appropriate for the DA2 narrative. for my own sake though, I generally like to name my OCs something to differentiate them in my own mind from the default; even though they tend to share the same traits I know everyone views the default differently, so giving my Hawke her own name is a way of dividing the line for me between “what fandom agrees is default Hawke” vs “default Hawke with my headcanons that can essentially be called my character.” so that’s the one thing preventing me from using Marian for my Hawke, really. if it sounds like a stupid reason that’s probably because it is.)

eta: i’ve changed it to “anita” because honestly i just like that prettier. in sanskrit it means “leader” and “without guile” (ironic, considering).

> canon explanation

In the real world, it means “to be strong,” so assuming that translates to the Thedas common tongue, I liked the idea of Malcolm and Leandra naming their first kid something ridiculously sentimental. I mean, they’re the kind of romantics to fall in love despite all reason, get pregnant, run away to another country and never talk to their families again. I can definitely see them picking something cheesy for their first kid’s name (who was conceived while Malcolm was still an illegal apostate and Leandra was engaged to someone else iirc. like, come on, that’s textbook fairytale, of course it was doomed to end badly, and of course their kid was doomed to have a rough life built on their mistakes).

to my knowledge “Valeria” primarily has a history of usage in Spanish and Italian, and it’s originally Latin (since it’s from the Latin word “valere”). this jibes with my Hawke family, who is mixed because I said so. I really like the idea of Malcolm not being from Ferelden or the Marches, and that “Hawke” is a name he chose himself to blend into Ferelden; I’ve seen some headcanon he has roots in Tevinter, which is interesting, though I’ve largely settled on the idea of him being Antivan. so if Italian = Antivan, then... there we go.

monica ryder

> how I picked it

I genuinely can’t recall the moment I decided "yes, this is the one for me” but I always knew who my facecast would be (mixed actress Lindsay Morgan). so knowing my Ryder was visibly mixed/racially ambiguous from the get-go, when I chose the name later, I think I was drawn to the fact that the name Monica has a history of use in many languages, and quite simply, I just liked how “Monica Ryder” sounds on the tongue.

> canon explanation

I think Ellen and Alec split naming the kids down the middle (Monica was probably Ellen’s pick, and Scott was Alec’s), but literally that’s all I’ve got so far, lol. (I kinda wanted to keep the name Sara as a middle name, but “Monica Sara Ryder” doesn’t sound quite right to me... I’m working on it.)

gemma cousland

(DAO doesn’t give me any good caps and the DAI CC failed me, so please pretend this girl actually looks EA instead of a white girl after her first trip to Hot Topic, lol.)

> how I picked it

I’ve always associated the name “Gemma” with royalty for some reason, so when I started my first Origins game as a female rogue I guess I figured it was a safe, lore-compliant option and just went with it. later I realized I was probably influenced by Gemma Doyle from the Great and Terrible Beauty trilogy, which was a favorite of mine growing up.

> canon explanation

ah... I really haven’t thought of it. I don’t even have a reason for why an Asian family would be nobility in Thedas’s England equivalent, much less why they would name their kid a non-EA name if they’re the traditional sort, but not much makes sense in Thedas anyway. Gemma is Italian from the word “gem” or “jewel,” so I’ll just pretend the Couslands were that particular brand of superstitious boring noble parents that thought naming their only daughter after something shiny would mean she would have a simple life. lol.

reyna mahariel

(I haven’t gotten around to making her in the DAI CC yet, whoops)

> how I picked it

Another one of those “it sounded nice to my ears and I had already been staring at the ‘choose your name’ screen for over ten minutes and just needed to pick something” situations. Reyna is Spanish for “queen,” but there’s not meant to be any correlation or implications there. I picked it because it honestly just sounded nice.

> canon explanation

of course the most logical follow-up question is, if Reyna is a traditionally noble European name, why give it to a Dalish elf who’s never known a speck of luxury in her life? erm... I’m gonna pull the fictional universe card and say it’s a fantasy RPG, who cares.

Reyna has a lot of variations (Raina, Reina, Regina) and “queen” is the most common meaning, but one translation marks it down as once meaning “song,” which I kind of like. so, continuing the theme of parents giving their kids symbolic names and their hopes later getting flushed down the toilet as the kids get swept up into preventing disasters and dealing with the fallout of various apocalyptic scenarios... I run with the idea that Reyna’s parents wanted her to grow up as a musician or Dalish equivalent of a bard, which Reyna tossed out the window as soon as she picked up a bow and decided she was going to be a huntress, thank you very much.

--

THIS GOT WAY TOO LONG AND IF YOU ACTUALLY READ ANY OF IT, GENUINE PROPS TO YOU

[niishiki]

May 1998, Rockport Massachusetts

»Connor! Be careful, son!« The voice of a man echoed through the thick forest and bounced off of the steep mountains and their jagged surface. The sun stood high in a clear azure blue sky. Not even the hint of a cloud foreshadowing a change in weather could be seen. The air was mild and the rays of sunlight so warm and bright that one could get lost standing in the warmth for too long, melting into a puddle on the ground – or at least catching a nasty sunburn instead. The branches of the large pines and birches danced softly in soft puffs of the wind with their leaves shaking oh so tenderly. The only sound out here in this tiny little world came from the animals around, the rattle of hoofs from deer running around deep in the underwood, the tiny stomping of paws from rabbits fleeing from the intruders and into the thicker branches of the brushwood where it was safe, the smacking sound when a pine cone would fall to the ground sharply every once in a while, and the patter of small feet running through the shrubs and breaking small twigs in their wake.

Connor was careful not to make a sound when he moved through the forest usually. It was the latest game that he and his father would play. His father had said that he wanted to teach him how to move without making any noise and so far Connor was eager to prove to him that he was indeed capable of doing exactly that every time he and his father would leave the house to go and play in the woods. It was much harder out here than it was in their home. Inside the house, Connor knew every creaking floorboard and knew which step was better to be avoided when sneaking up on his father. Even when they were not playing, Connor enjoyed sneaking up on his parents, especially on his father, for he would first jolt in surprise when Connor would suddenly pinch him from behind and then he would growl like a wild beast only to chase him through the house and lift him up whenever he would catch Connor. Of course, it was needless to say that Connor let himself get caught by his father always, for he loved it when his father would pick him up like this only to carry him around the house like a slain beast.

His mother would only smirk when she would see it, shake her head softly and turn back to whatever she was in the midst of doing – mom-stuff, usually. No matter how much he loved it at home, however, Connor had always been drawn to the woods more. He spent every free minute out here in the wilderness, albeit it of course scarcely without supervision. His parents would never make the grave mistake in provoking their four-year-old son in saying that it was too dangerous for him out in the woods all alone, of course, but Connor knew that they were secretly thinking this and he was always determined to prove them wrong.

»I'm not a baby anymore, Raké:ni!« Connor shouted back at his father from a distance as he slowly made an effort to climb up a tree stump. His mother had taught him how to climb and run through trees almost immediately as he had made his first steps. He was not as good as her, of course, and he remembered watching his mother in awe, hoping that one day he would be as agile and skilled as her.

He could hear his father's footsteps through the forest and knew that the old wolf did not even try to make no noise, perhaps even so that Connor would be aware of his presence and would not fear that he had been left alone. Connor, however, had different plans as he brought enough distance between himself and his father to hide from him. That was yet another game they would play every once in a while. His father, however, did not seem very fond of that game, or rather not as fond as he was of the other games they would play. Connor though loved it when his father would start searching for him and he always had quite a hard time to hold back his laughter and giggles when he would hide somewhere and could hear his father nearby.

His mother had started early to teach him how to read tracks of animals and humans alike. He did not quite understand why his mother would teach him such things or why they would play all those little games together, but he enjoyed it tremendously. His mother would hide somewhere and Connor would need to analyze the tracks she would leave behind for him to find her. He always did. He was quite good at this, his father, however, had not the slightest clue about such things. He could not even climb trees. Maybe that was the reason why it was so funny to Connor to hide from his father. He would hide either until his father would find him or was exhausted enough from searching that Connor could scare him in jumping out of some bush.

Today, however, Connor felt like scaring his father a little. He could not quite say why he enjoyed this so much, but he did and so he strayed from the path they would usually walk on. He was not allowed to wander too deep into the woods, especially not alone. His parents liked to warn him that dangerous animals would wait in the deepest parts of the forest for little boys like him to devour in one single piece, but Connor was sure that those were just stories his parents had made up to scare him from wandering off too far. Especially his father liked to slip into the role of the big bad wolf or the dangerous brown bear when he would tell those stories to scare his little boy, but Connor had never quite believed those tales, no matter how much effort his parents put into telling them.

The other children of the village did not believe this stuff either. It was something entirely different when his Grandpa would tell him stories about pirates and sea monsters, though. One time he had not been able to sleep in his own bed for almost one entire week after his Grandpa had told him the story of a large Kraken that was known to destroy ships and eat their crew somewhere in the Atlantic sea. He wished he would be able to see his Grandpa more often than he could, but sadly he lived so far away that Connor only got him to see maybe once or twice a year at best.

Connor was quick to escape his father’s eyes as he ran through the woods, darted sideways whenever he needed to until the forest around him grew even thicker and darker. As he finally stopped, he was not able to tell for how long he had been running and he could not hear his father any longer. He had stopped in the middle of a clearing and could hear one of the two rivers that were cutting through the area gurgling in the distance, but the trees were so large and loomed so high over him, that they blocked out every bit of sunlight and even the sky. It was cold without the sun and he could not help but rub his naked arms as he was only wearing his favorite light blue T-Shirt. It had a rocket ship printed on the front and his father had brought it with him as he had come back from his last business travels into the city. Carefully, Connor looked around, but he could not tell where he was or from where he had come anymore. Suddenly, it was not only the missing sunlight that made him shiver.

In the distance he could hear the sound of a deep, feral growl and for just a second his tiny heart jumped as it was sure it was his father, but when he looked around, there was no one to be seen, but the growl grew louder. Suddenly it was as if it came from everywhere around him. First, he saw the flash of gray fur through the shrubbery, then he heard the sound of large paws breaking twigs under the weight of a beast.

Connor started running in earnest this time, unable to really see or tell to where he was even running. Blind fear was driving him into action and his short legs soon tense with strain. The forest around him was suddenly so dark, that it was even hard to see the ground beneath his feet and so, suddenly, Connor's left foot got caught on a root and he found himself stumbling. He lost his balance right away and fell without being able to really do anything about it, as he landed on the hard ground and rolled down a ravine, his back hitting stones in the process hard and as he finally reached the end of the ravine he was sure that he had broken something.

Hot tears were rolling down his cheeks in a matter of seconds as he became aware of the situation he had gotten himself into. As the fear that was manifesting itself in its tiny little chest tried to swallow him whole, however, Connor immediately wiped away the tears from his cheeks. He was not a crybaby! He had never been one! And he would not cry and sob now! The forest had never been frightening to him and he was sure that it never would. He would find his way back and that he would do without tears so that his father would be proud of him. Still, Connor took a moment to collect himself, sitting in the dirt. He drew in a deep breath and pushed out a shuttering huff of warm air afterwards. His mother had taught him to breathe deeply when he was afraid and so he did, to get rid of his fear. It did not work as well as it did at home, though.

As he sat in the dirt he had a little time to examine his injuries. His palms were scratched and bloody, as were his knees which he could see through the ripped fabric of his grey jeans. Oh, his mother would be furious that he had ripped another pair of jeans again. Surely this time she would make him wear silly patches on his knees to teach him a lesson and the other kids would mock him! He felt miserable just imagining how the other kids would pick on him. He remembered how they had made fun of Kanen'tó:kon the last time, he had been forced to wear a tiny heart on a hole in his jeans until he had outgrown the bloody thing. Oh, his mother would surely find something even more embarrassing for him. In a mere two seconds his fear of the unknown forest around him had been replaced by his anguish about the very real possibility of having to wear patches on his ripped clothes from now on and once again he felt like crying, as he brushed the dirt from his clothes and slowly stood up.

Well, maybe he had not broken a bone or two, but still, his entire body hurt and he did his best to suppress a small hiccup.

As he finally took another look around, slowly stepping forward, there was nothing he was able to recognize, no matter how often he had wandered the woods with his parents or played hide and seek with his friends. To him, it was almost as if he had crossed over into a whole other world. Maybe he had. Maybe he would never find his way home now. He thought about Alice in Wonderland. His mother had read the story to him not too long ago. Maybe he was now in Wonderland himself? But he had not fallen into a rabbit hole. No, this could not be Wonderland then, could it?

Around him the trees stood so tightly together that they blocked out every bit of light and suddenly Connor was not even sure anymore if it was daytime at all. Maybe he had hit his head and fallen unconscious and it was already night now! No, surely he would remember knocking his head and falling unconscious, would he? At least he would remember waking up again. He tried to keep his head cool, the same way his father always told him to whenever a tantrum was approaching like a storm. It did not work and soon, after a few more steps, he again felt tears streaming down his face and found himself calling out for his father. »Raké:ni? Where are you?« But his own voice sounded thin to him and he immediately felt embarrassed about just how anxious it sounded. Did he not just tell his father that he was in fact not a baby anymore? And now here he was, calling for his dad like a small child. Well, in his defense, he was only four years old. He was allowed to call for his daddy like a small child because he was a small child.

Connor continued calling out for his father as he was moving forward while the thought crossed his mind, that it might be better to stay where he was, just in case his father was already looking for him. Surely he was. His current state of anxiousness and panic was disrupted, however, as he saw a flash of white between the trees and the bushes and it did not take long, until curiosity overpowered the miserable situation he was in.

So, he decided, against all better judgment, that he wanted to see what that white thing was and almost forgot about his father and his own fear of never finding back home again. Maybe he really was in Wonderland and the flash of white was the White Rabbit with its pocket watch. Maybe he was meant to follow it! Connor started to run, as the white seemed to get farther and farther away from him. For almost a second, he was sure that he had seen the figure of a man dressed completely in white, but then he was sure that he had just imagined things.

As he was moving forward, the world around him only grew darker and darker and even the sounds he was so used to, the rattle of hoofs, the stomping of little paws, the smacking sounds when a pine cone would hit the ground every once in a while, started to grow scarcer and scarcer and he was sure that soon they would die out entirely. »Raké:ni? Where are you?« He called out again, this time more silent and maybe only because his brain told him to, while his feet were already guiding him farther away from home.

After stumbling through the shrubs for quite some time, he came to another large clearing and it was the first time that he could actually see the sky again. It hung above him clear blue and without even the hint of a tiny little cloud as if nothing at all had happened to him in the past minutes. He could see the sun, if only barely, but enough to know that he had wandered off quite a bit. His grandfather had once tried to teach him how to navigate with the help of the sun, but no matter how hard he tried to remember, he could not do it.

Suddenly he felt uneasy. It was not the fear coming right back to him with all its might, it was something entirely else. Connor could feel it deep down in his stomach, the tiny feeling that something awful was going to happen. He felt nauseous. It was as if a storm was approaching and there was nothing he, a four year old boy, could do about it.

He could see the flash of white again and this time he was almost sure that it was indeed a man walking through the woods around him but ignoring the little boy that clearly had gotten lost. For the briefest moment, Connor was able to see the man’s face although it seemed almost blurry to him at the same instant. He wanted to call out, but he did not. His features were sharp, his expression stoic, his skin dark, but before he could see more, the man had vanished into thin air and left Connor startled. Before he could even realize what had happened, the sounds of the woods seemed to come back crashing down on him, accompanied by the sound of heavy paws stomping closer fast. As Connor saw the bear it was almost too late.

The bear only sniffed the air for a moment, as it stomped out on the clearing in front of the young boy. It was huge like a mountain in Connor's eyes, its fur had the color of ebony and its eyes were like black bottomless pits. Connor felt his knees trembling as the bear stepped closer, still sniffing the air, growling quietly as Connor was careful to step back quietly. One step after another, he slowly, carefully, moved backwards and away from the large beast. He had never seen a real bear, just like he before had never seen a real wolf, but was sure that the grey thing from earlier had had to be one. Oh, he was doomed! The bear would surely try to eat him! His parents would never know what had happened to him!

The bear seemed to be calm, while Connor moved back, but the moment Connor stepped on a branch that was immediately snapping in half under his weight, the bear let out a dangerous growl and Connor once more froze. Paralyzed with fear, he could only stare with his eyes wide with horror. As the bear came closer, Connor was unable to move even his little finger or to curl his toes. He was terrified and the bear only came closer and closer, until Connor could smell its fur and its wretched rotten breath. The bear did not attack him right away as they were mere inches apart. Still, on all fours, the beast stretched its neck to smell his face and the very much childish part of him wanted to extend his hand to touch its fur, but he tried to suppress the urge.

Only when another growl left the beast, Connor again jumped in fear, but before the bear could attack him, Connor saw a flash of silver out of the corner of his left eye, the bear howled in pain and then it ran off, the bolt of a crossbow sticking out of its side. Connor sunk to the ground, as the bear ran off, still shaking from his near death encounter with the beast, even though his mind was not yet ready to really understand what had been happening to him just now.

»Connor!« The voice of his father bellowed through the woods and as Connor turned his head to look where the voice was coming from, his father was already darting through the bushes and jumped out on the clearing. »Connor! Are you alright?« In an instant, his father crouched down beside him. Connor saw the small contraption on his father's left wrist. He had never questioned this thing whenever he had seen it. It looked like a very small crossbow – but different. He knew his mother was wearing something like this too whenever she was going on a hunt. He did not know what it was, but he was sure that his father had used this thing to scare off the bear.

»Raké:ni!« Connor howled and threw himself into his father's arms. He had never been happier to see his father's face, his ice blue eyes, his pale skin, his black hair and the frown that always seemed to linger on his face. »The bear wanted to eat me!«

His father lifted him up without wasting another second and Connor was quick to wrap his short legs and thin arms around him, his father's right arm supporting his weight. »So I’ve noticed.« Haytham hummed as he rubbed soothing little circles over his back, but started moving immediately. »I told you not to stray, Connor.«

»I’m sorry, Daddy.« He muffled, pressing his face against his father's strong shoulder. He did not like to admit it, but he was certainly very glad that his father had come to his rescue. In his group of friends in the village, he was always seen a little bit like a leader, Kanen’tó:kon thought even that he knew no fear, despite Connor being the youngest of the group, but the truth was, that Connor was very much afraid of being all alone in the woods, as he had now learned. »I never do it again.« He promised and glanced up at his father's face. Only for a second their eyes met and he could see the smirk pulling on his father's thin lips. They both knew his was an empty promise, but his father had enough decency not to point it out as he hummed in agreement.

After a while, Connor found himself staring at the necklace his father wore. He always hid it underneath his clothes, but it had slipped out from under the collar of his shirt now. It was a silver cross. Not a cross like the symbol of the Catholic Church as he had seen before on TV. It was a different kind of cross and Connor knew that there was a reason why his father hid the necklace from the other villagers. He only showed it whenever the three of them were alone at home. It was not the symbol his mother wore around her neck, though. Sometimes it seemed to be a reason for them to fight, but they would never fight whenever he would be awake and thus he barely got a hold of the reason for the fighting until now. The other villagers did not like his father that was why they lived a little closer to the forest, which Connor greatly liked.

They walked in silence back home and Connor only turned his head as the sunlight had him back. They left the forest and he could see their house not too far off. »The bear was cool, though.« Connor quietly mumbled as he saw his mother walking out of the house, as if she already wanted to come looking for her two men. Only then he tensed a little in expectation of the scolding that was about to rain down on him. »Oh no…« He muttered. »I don't want patches on my jeans, Daddy…«

-End Prolog-