#but then there are new migraine symptoms we can't figure out how to deal with

[thethingything]

we feel like we have covid and we tested negative so hopefully that does actually mean we don't have it instead of it being a false negative but either way holy shit we feel ill

[bookwormcosplays]

SSRI Withdrawal Journey

I wasn't going to do this because I'm a very private person and I don't like talking about my mental health on social media, but I decided this is very important for me to remember how this felt and to give people a frame of reference.

I've been on lexapro for a year which I always knew it was going to be temporary because I was having a lot of mental breakdowns and I just needed to get through school. I told the psychiatrist I just wanted to get through school and she still prescribed me this. I was aware of the withdrawal, but I was under the illusion that it should be fine if I tapered.

Why not continue take it? It didn't really help me out a lot. It had more cons than pros. All it did was make me less angry and eat more which is something I'm capable outside of medication. The breakdowns though were affecting my school life that a round of therapy wouldn't help and this helped to minimize it, but now I graduated.

Fast forward to current day. I told my primary doctor I wanted to come off of lexapro, couldn't talk to my previous psychiatrist for other reasons, and my DOCTOR said "oh lexapro is easy just split your pills in half take it for a week then stop." I was on 20mg. I said I'm really concerned about withdrawal could I get 5mg pills. She said "okay" and gave me only a week of 5mg. Mind you I was already running out of my original pills. So I had no choice, but to follow her advice.  

1st Week (10mg): Insomnia, night terrors, night sweats, nightmares, and mania. I was very manic. I kept acting out of character, talking a lot, and pulling out old projects to work on. I was exercising. Doing a bunch of things even though I was running on very little sleep (2 hour naps basically). I also had some dizziness, but it wasn't too bad. I thought I could definitely handle withdrawal because I felt on top of the world.

2nd Week (5mg): Continued insomnia, night terrors, night sweats, and nightmares. New symptoms-- I crashed hard after the manic episode. Headaches (24/7 they will not go away with no type of medicine), joint pain, nausea, vomiting, no appetite. Can't drink water. Makes me sick. Dizzy spells get more intense. Static in vision. Can't walk straight. Bumping into walls. Falling more often. Can't look at phone or laptop without unbearable head pain or nausea. Migraines. Flu like symptoms (don't have flu, haven't been outside the house in a week). Sore throat, congested, fever. Increased sweating and what feels like hot flashes.

3rd Week (nothing): Continued insomnia, night terrors, night sweats, and nightmares. Headaches, joint pain, nausea, vomiting, no appetite. Dizzy spells, static in vision, still can't walk straight. Still bumping into walls and falling more often. Can't look at phone or laptop without unbearable head pain or nausea. Migraines. Flu like symptoms, sore throat, congested, and fever. Increased sweating and hot flahes. New symptoms-- Fatigue, try to sleep but nightmares keep waking me up. Yet I also don't want to sleep because the nightmares are so bad. Exhausted. In bed all day. No brain zaps yet? Noises make my head hurt. No matter how small. Cabinets closing, music playing, etc.

I will update the third week as we finish it up then make a new post as this goes on.

I don't know how people deal with withdrawal while working. If you want to take an ssri or lexapro specifically, I suggest you intend to stick with it. If you're just trying it out, figure it out within the first month. If you want to taper, do it with someone who understands the consequences of withdrawal. I seriously don't understand how this withdrawal is not different from opiods or any other drug. If I wasn't in a situation where I can't take it anymore, I would get back on it to stop this. Needless to say, I do not recommend lexapro for short term use or honestly at all (but also I'm in pain rn and very irritated).

[stardustedknuckles]

Was thinking today that other than a persistent pressure between my legs, I really haven't seen anything change on my dose of T yet and then I realized that for all the headaches and sinus bullshit that's begun since then, for all the gas being worse and whatever, I haven't taken or wanted any weed since I started. The only reason I took it was for the constant inflammation I had been dealing with and I can't explain it, but that low-grade fuzzy feeling that had been in my skin is just. Gone. I've also been able to eat foods I have been afraid to touch for months since they randomly began causing problems I couldn't find the vocabulary to even explain. Gluten, soy, yeast - all of the things I had been trying to narrow down and figure out which of them was hurting me and how...I'm still careful about spacing out when I eat it, but that didn't matter before. Most things are acceptable again, and when I'm not anywhere near my period I have a huge appetite. Estrogen is still fucking with me pretty badly, but it's only been three months on a low dose and despite the hormonal migraine activity, I can tell it's easing up every month.

None of the things that are happening feel new, either. It feels like they were maybe going on before and they were so buried under inflammation that I couldn't experience them properly to label them. I now know that the random panic food causes in me sometimes is silent reflux - my throat feels like it's closing because the acid is touching the esophagus and making the muscle flinch away from it. The hypersensitivity to light around my period and the constant sinus pressure confirm what I've already looked into, that I have "flu-like" period symptoms. It's just clearer now (as it starts to fade). T isn't causing any of these things. They're just taking a while to go away because my cycle will take a while to piss off entirely.

And that's on a half dose. Part of me is worried it won't be enough to completely suppress my cycle and I'll have to go all in just to feel normal more than two weeks at a time, but three months ago it was one week if I was lucky. So I guess we'll cross that bridge if and when we (don't) get there.

And all of this time, I have needed my ADHD meds exactly twice, both for big projects that are specifically leaning on a skill I am especially bad at. So not only am I feeling better for the most part all around, I am feeling better without the meds that have kept me upright and functioning for three years. I have an official fibromyalgia diagnosis. Even if I'm not sure that's exactly what was going on, it is a very big deal that I don't need stimulants just to exist anymore. SOMETHING rheumy was fucked, and at least for now it's doing better (we'll see how next summer goes. it always gets quieter in the fall and seems heat activated.)

[thebibliosphere]

Only if you have the spoons this is a desperate migraine question

I have chronic intractable daily (ie 24/7 for the past two years) migraine with aura. The past six days have been 9/10 constant pain (I live my life at a 6-7 from my combo of medical issues) , too much nausea to eat, can't sleep, can't function.

My neurologists think I have MCAS/hEDS and I'm already diagnosed hyperPOTS. I can't see an allergist until at least January. My jaw constantly dislocates on one side so that's definitely making the migraine worse, the way the joint has gotten all crooked and asymmetrical.

I'm doing everything I can to see the doctors I need but right now I'm just miserable and what do I do?

Oh, friend, I'm so sorry. I don't know if it's an option for you, but if your neurologist is able to get you into physical rehab specifically for your jaw (and likely some cervical instability, if I'm honest) then that might be a good option to help with the muscle fuckery likely contributing to this.

Instability is one of the major inducing factors for migraines in patients with EDS, and also general hypermobile joint disorders, so getting things stabilized (as much as possible) is often necessary for any kind of long-term relief.

If you visit a chiropractor, I would advise avoiding any neck/jaw/upper back adjustments until you have been properly evaluated, as those adjustments might be causing short-term relief but prolonged damage. Once you know what you're dealing with, you can talk to your doctors about what methods of treatment are safe for you.

As for MCAS... I really hope you are able to find doctors who know how to both test* and treat it, but it makes me hopeful that your neurologist is even aware of it, as histamine is a major factor in chronic migraines and I wish more doctors knew it. (link)

There are many safe and effective mast cell stabilizers a doctor might want you to try, but the first line of defense in MCAS are h1 and h2 histamine blockers, which are things readily available otc like Zyrtec (h1) and Pepcid (h2).

If you're not already on any histamine blockers, I'd talk to your doctor about doing a trial run of something simple like Zyrtec. It's not uncommon for those of us with MCAS and histamine issues to require double the recommended dose to see any benefit, so that might also be good for you to know.

I know these types of meds are available otc, but please Always talk to a doctor before starting any medicine and especially when considering doubling up on any medicine. It's very possible to overdose on antihistamines, though it's more likely on things like Benadryl.

Vitamin D also contributes to mast cell stability, so if you're deficient, (or even if your numbers are just a bit low) I'd suggest getting on a supplement to help give your body the support it needs. (I'm paraphrasing my EDS specialist here, but this can also help with EDS and joint pain, as we burn through our stores quicker from our bodies always needing to repair things!)

You might also want to look at your diet and see if cutting down your histamine intake might help, as there's a good chance if you have MCAS, your body is not processing histamine properly. There are many online lists that talk about Histamine Intolerance, but the most reliable I've found to date—and the one all my health care providers defer to— is the Food Compatibility List from the Swiss Interest Group Histamine Intolerance (SIGHI) (link)

The list is obviously not definitive as everyone's bodies are different in what they react to, but it can be a good starting point to help figure out where there are any potential triggers in your diet that might be causing problems. Try to keep a food diary to find any possible triggers, if you aren't already.

I would highly recommend finding a dietician to help walk you through the elimination and reintroduction process, as it will help you keep track of things, but also ensure you are doing it safely, as extreme low histamine diets are not sustainable long term, and can actually make MCAS worse as your health begins to deteriorate from lack of nutrients. The goal is not zero histamine in the diet, it's to get your body to stop overreacting to safe things so you can eventually add things back in and live as normally as possible.

Again, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Facing any of these diagnoses is hard. All three is just a genetic trifecta of fuckery. The good news is once you start to treat the main issue, the others might settle down too, and hopefully the migraines with it.

Best of luck. I hope you find relief soon and the care you need.

*A lot of the testing is inaccurate, and we desperately need better means of testing. A lot of doctors are now switching to clinical diagnosis based on symptoms and response to mast cell stabilizing treatment. So even if your test results come back "normal" (mine do unless I'm actively anaphylaxing!) and your problems are still persisting, try finding another doctor willing to monitor your response to mast cell disorder treatment methods.

[myownjadedpieceofmind]

Let's catch up, shall we?

So... sometime Tuesday I came down with a migraine from hell. I attributed it to looking up at the fireworks the night before and working front desk that morning. Well, Wednesday that migraine progressed into a full body flare of every symptom I have. My skin broke out in hives, I couldn't hold down any food or water, every single inch of my skin hurt and my joints literally burned.

I spent all day Wednesday in the hospital due to a kidney infection that put my autoimmune system into hypersensitive setting. I got iv fluids and antibiotics and figured I could just go home and deal with the rest of my issues from there. Honestly, I'm a veteran to the kidney issues, so I generally just self care once I get the antibiotics to kick the crap.

That was the wrong idea. I went back to the hospital that night and was admitted. I got out late yesterday afternoon.

When I came home, I got the mail. A large envelope from social security letting me know I "do not qualify for disability under the definitions of disabled conditions, and there is no reason why I can't find suitable work given my conditions." Weird, because every single thing I've been diagnosed with, and continue getting diagnosed with, are all listed in their qualifying disorders. The disability advocate group that took on my case probono seems to think they can help me out, so it just means i get to wait til we appeal and battle it out. At least I have someone to help, and they aren't trying to stick their hand out for profit.

I had to work this morning. Don't know why when the majority of the morning was spent watching the boss train the new chick how to do morning routines. Oh well, it's $44, and right now, that's a whole lot.

The boyfriend has a problem and we are headed to the cherokee nation hospital where he has coverage to get his shit checked out. It's a hard thing to talk about as a dude, but... he's had a lump on his testicles and has played off like no big deal. Until it became a painful lump, and now it's looking like an emergency surgery to repair some damages. He's done Jiu-jitsu and mma for the last 17 years, at the very least. The amount of damage he's taken to that area, well, it likely contributed to the issue thats going on. Anyway, the local dr didn't want him to waste any time getting this figured out, so, that's what's next.

I'm working tomorrow. My daughter lost her job and smashed her phone in the same day, so her luck is about like mine. I feel so bad for her, but what can I do??? I told her if she could make the drive here, she could have one of my older samsung phones. But, as it is, gas isn't cheap and her car hasn't had an oil change in FOREVER.

If I played the lottery, I'd be praying to get just a tiny chunk of the win, like $6k. Enough so I could pay my bills, stock my fridge, take care of my daughter so she isn't without a phone, pay for my son's gym membership (the best mental health the kid could ask for), get my truck serviced, and maybe buy some new fucking underwear.

The irs owes me around $10k over 3 years in returns. Like... 2 years of the returns were filed late, and I get that they are short staffed. But, how entirely awful is it to know that I've got that kind of money out there, but I can't touch if til the irs deems it worth their time. Imagine the penalties I'd pay if I owed them money for years??

Oh yeah... and since I was in the hospital, the orthopedic dr put off my appointment for another week. I've been sneaking my arm out if the splint from time to time over the last 2 days...my skin couldn't handle the restriction while I was so sick. The nurses that were doing my iv screwed up so bad, I have 9 bruised punctures up and down my arm. They only had the one arm to abuse thanks to the splint. But, I look like hell. I don't even know how I'm gonna dig out of this shithole.

Here's hoping for some good news to roll in. I could use a silver lining.

[ik-jams]

BTS Reaction: They find out their S/O has a chronic illness when she/he has a bad episode.

I hope you like it @little-miss-sherlock Lots of lub to youu 💕💕

Smol Warning: This involves certain health issues that.. Well, I don't know if it would offend anyone that I'm writing about chronic illnesses I don't understand fully. I looked up the symptoms of all these and I'm going with that, if you know you'll get mad or your sensitive to this material please don't read.

———————

~ Kim Seokjin/Prince Jin:

Jin always heard you talking to yourself but he felt it was normal for people to do so and he found it cute. Until one day you forgot to take your medication. Your mind was everywhere you kept telling the wall to "Shut up" then-

Jin: Y/n? Are you okay? What's wrong? Look at me.

You: Who are you? Where am I? Where's mom?

Jin: What? Y/n. It's Jin.

You: Jin? Like... Gin?

Jin: No with a J.

He decided to take you to the doctors and surprisingly he found the one you go to for medication. Everyone seemed to know you, know what was going on and he found out you had schizophrenia.

Your personality was all over the place, you heard voices, and sometimes short losses of memory. When he found out he was extremely confused and mad. Why would you hide something so serious from him?

Jin: Explain.

You: I was ashamed.. Embarrassed. Who would want to date someone like me? I didn't want you to leave me..

You: I'm sorry..

Jin: -Holds you and kisses your forehead- I've told you. I'll love you till the day I die no matter how cheesy that sounds, it's true.

Jin: We'll work together, and I'll take care of you. You'll never have to deal with this alone.

Jin: I love you.

~ Suga/Min Yoongi:

While you and Yoongi were going out to get grocery's you had fainted. Immediately he dropped everything to get you to a hospital.

Yoongi: What happened?

Doctor: Have they not told you? They've been here a few times.

Yoongi: For what?

Doctor: Their medication. We have them on two at the moment. They have GAD. Which stands for Generalized Anxiety Disorder. They fainted for lack of sleep. Their anxiety is very bad, she/he has horrid thoughts of her/himself, she/he has told us about her/his troubles sleeping, she/he has had thoughts of death, now that you know please do take care of her/him.

He was furious that you didn't tell him. He wanted you to trust him with everything and it definitely seemed like you did but to know you hid something involving your health he questioned how much trust you actually had in him.

Yoongi: Why didn't you tell me?

You: It's always made people back of from me.

You: It has ruined so many past relationships and I just don't want to lose you. I love and care about you so much Min Yoongi, I couldn't risk it.

Yoongi: But you could risk your health?

Yoongi: You know everything about me and after hearing you didn't leave me. What makes you think that THIS would want to make me leave you?

Yoongi: Anything you need just ask. Your health is the most important thing because you are important to to me.

~ J-hope/Jung Hoseok:

You both were about to go to bed, at the time Hobi stayed over and when he went to go ask you something he saw you scrambling to find something.

Hobi: Y/n?

You: -You jump slightly- Yes?

Hobi: What are you looking for? Can I help you?

You: No. It's nothing, just needed a sleeping pill so I can sleep well.

Hobi: If you don't find them there's many ways I could help you sleep.

You: Today. I think I just want to cuddle with you Hoseok.

Later while he had fallen asleep, you went back to look for your medication. Then you started tantrum-ing, sobbing. getting emotional, you broke glass, and you weren't yourself. Of course Hoseok heard and ran out to see if you were okay or what was going on. He saw you sobbing on the ground, your hands bleeding from shards of glass that were on the floor.

Hobi: Oh my god. Y/n? Come with me. I'm taking you to a doctor.

You: Leave me alone, Go away! I don't need your help.

Hobi: Yes you do. Come here. -slowly approaching you-

You: I'm warning you to get away!

Once he manages to grab you and semi calm you down he takes you to a doctor and he found out you have a extreme Bipolar disorder, He was frustrated and heart broken that you never told him, and that he had to find out like this. When he saw you, you were going to talk but he didn't want to hear you.

Hobi: Don't you talk. Listen.

Hobi: Don't ever hide anything like this from me again. Do you understand? I thought that I took care of you well and to know that I wasn't able to help you for this, wasn't able to take care of you better is the worst thing I have ever felt.

Hobi: Understand that I love and care for you and I want to take care of you till the end.

You: I was just worried you wouldn't be able to handle it. And you would leave, just like everyone else.

Hobi: Then I'm offended that I'm just "Everyone else" to you. I am your boyfriend, your lover, and someone who wants to take care of you like you take care of me.

Hobi: So let me.

~ Rap Monster/Namjoon:

You: Do you what an Inhaler looks like?

Nams: I guess I do, why?

You: Random thought.

You and Namjoon took walks around beautiful areas a lot and walked to your house a lot. You looked through your bag to check if you had your inhaler and for some reason it was gone. You know you had taken it and you were worried because you might need it.

Nams: Y/n why do you have this? -He holds up your inhaler which you take from him immediately-

You: I'm taking it to someone later.

Nams: Don't lie to me.

You: I don't lie.

Nams: That was a lie. Do you have asthma?

You:

Nams: Answer me, Y/n.

You: Yes, I have asthma!

Nams: Why didn't you tell me?

You: Because I was embarrassed. It's embarrassing to breathe from a tube in public or in front of you.

You: And I figured you wanted to date someone normal. Someone who isn't bothersome and you won't have to worry about so much.

Nams: Baby, You don't ever need to feel embarrassed, I still love you, I'm falling in love with your personality. I love you just as you are and I will take care of you, alright?

Nams: From now on, tell me everything and anything. Nothing can change how I feel about you.

Park Jimin/Chimichanga:

You liked asking Jimin to teach you dance whether you were good or not didn't matter, it was just fun to move around to the beat of music, but today you forgot your pain killers so you were limping and falling a lot. .

Jimin: Are you okay? You're very off.

You: Just dandy.

Jimin: What's wrong?

You: Nothing.

Jimin: What's. Wrong?

You: I have Chronic pain, which is basically forever pain in the same place... I have it in my knee.

You: anddd oh my gkkdbd it's cramping up. Can you go get my pain killers please??

Jimin: Why didn't you tell me??

You: Because knowing you, You wouldn't let me out the damn house.

You: Even if we don't live together. I know you'd somehow watch me.

Jimin: I would let you out..

You: 1 step out the door would be too far for you.

Jimin: I just care about you.

You: I know but what you CAN do is help me with the medicine and take me to my doctors appointments.

Jimin: I can't drive...

You: You can accompany me to my doctors appointments.

V/Kim Taehyung:

When Tae came over to hang out with you, he opened the door with the spare key you gave him.

Tae: Honey!!! I'm hommee!

You guys had this joke where you acted like a married couple. You usually replied with something funny as well but you couldn't.

Taehyung went to the kitchen only to find you crouched, leaning against the wall behind you, and holding your head.

Tae: Y/n! Are you alright?

You: Medicine. Please. -You point to a cabinet- Get a white and blue bottle.

After he gave you the medicine and you were feeling a bit better you guys started talking.

You: Why are you here so early?

Tae: I wanted to surprise you but you surprised me. Are you okay?

You: I'm fine now. I mean, it'll happen tomorrow, the next day, the next, and after that, then so on.

Tae: That's impossible.

You: Not if you have a Migraine.

Tae: How come I didn't know?

You: I was embarrassed, I'm pretty sure you didn't want to date someone who was forever sick so it was nice knowing you—

Tae: Shhhtsh I'm staying and caring for you, and cuddling you, and being with you until the day I die.

Jeon Jungkook/Kookie:

You didn't hide it from Jungkook but you also haven't told him.

You'll take your medicine in front him and when he asks you say your sick.

But you've been sick for the whole year you guys have been dating so of course he is going to get suspicious.

You: I read a new book~

JK: Yeah you told me about it. You're on page 289, It's interesting, and you would like to find more from that author.

You: When did I.. You know I probably have bed memory.

JK: You told me about this book four times.

You: I have? Oh wow.

JK: How'd you forget after four times?

You: Ah hmm, I have ADHD, bad memory, bad at paying attention. um um oh wow suddenly I'm bored. Did I bring my pills??

JK: I don't think so, let's go home alright?

You: Yeah, sorry I didn't tell you. I just, it's not attractive. Yeah.

JK: I'd still love you with any sickness, how you talk to me, treat me, take care of me, love me, and your personality is what made me fall in love with you.

You: Thanks Bunny boy.

JK: Let's eat at Wagwan after alright?

You: I heard they give out Snickers now. I don't know why but I'm down.

JK: You're adorable.