#but then the cost of his Feelings are foisted onto other characters

[mimi-911]

not to hashtag not like other girls myself here but popular fandom opinions usually fucking suck lmao

[bittlebarnes]

The Path of Least Resistance 4/?

Read on Ao3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

Summary:

“How old are you?” Percival heard himself ask absently.

“19, Mr. Graves.” Was Newt’s tight-lipped answer. He sat down on one of the ornate couches and thanked the house elf who had appeared with a tea set.

“You don't have to call me ‘Mr. Graves’. If we're to be married, I imagine you’ll be using my given name quite a bit.”

“And are we? To be married I mean?” -- After his expulsion from Hogwarts, Newt tries to regain his family's favor by entering an arranged marriage.

“Mr. Graves is liking you to know he won't be home tonight,” Wendi appears at Newt's side, a consternated look on her little face.

“Thank you, Wendi,” Newt smiles at her before going back to his book. It's been two weeks since Percival returned to work and he's been diligent about keeping Newt in the loop. If he's going to be late he either sends Wendi or a note to let Newt know not to worry and an apology for missing dinner.

It's different. It’s...nice. He lets his mind wander to a future where he and Percival could be something. Something more than what they are now.

Newt wonders, however, if this goodwill between them can last. Percival is, more than most, a creature of habit, Newt thinks. This recent behavior is anomalous due to stress and changes in his environment but creatures always return to their true natures once they’ve settled. He twists the ring on his finger and tries to remind himself where he stands in their relationship.

No matter how much Newt wants things to stay just the way they are.

--

"You know I don't want to burden you, Newt, but really. You simply must snap out of this funk you’re in.” Theseus had come to America to visit. A show of goodwill, he’d said, that the Ministry and MACUSA are getting along just fine. The war is over. He was staying with Newt and Percival in their home in the city. Newt tried to welcome his brother but the man spent most of his free time with Percival in meetings. Any time alone with Newt was filled with unwanted advice and pitying looks.

“I’m not in a funk.” Newt pulled his feet up onto the chaise and sighed knowingly. This was a conversation they’d had many times. “I’ve told you, Percival and I aren’t there yet. I’m only 21, Theseus. There’s plenty of time for children. When would Percival even see them anyway? He’s as busy as you are.”

“Newt, you know it’s not the same.”

Newt did know. Plenty of Omegas his age are already on their second or third pregnancies. Many of Percival’s contemporaries already had large families. Theseus’ new wife was expecting and they’d only been married six months. Suddenly, Newt’s empty nest was starting to look a certain way.

“What do you want from me? I didn't ask to come here, Theseus. This wasn’t my decision. You can’t foist me off on a strange Alpha on the other side of the world and just expect me to lay up and bear his children. You know this isn’t the life I wanted.” Newt tries to keep his voice even but he wobbles near the end, still a frightened boy at heart.

“No,” Theseus agreed. There was a sympathy in his voice that Newt hadn’t expected. Not many were sympathetic towards him, simply disdainful. “But Newt, you must understand and accept that it’s the life you have. You can make the best of it. Now, has Percival been unkind to you.”

“Define unkind.”

“Newt.” Theseus groaned. “I just want what’s best for you. You’re still young and handsome and that’s gotten you this far.” Theseus sat down at the foot of the chaise and held Newt’s gaze. “It’s gotten you and Alpha who’s wealthy and who’s willing to let you work but you must understand that there’s a cost, Newt. And I don’t want the worst to happen.”

“Of course. We shan’t embarrass the family again, right?” Newt snorted, “father would see me institutionalized before he allowed a divorce. Perhaps that's what he’s wanted all along.”

Theseus groaned at the accusation. “Don’t say that. Father loves you very much. He was very concerned about you moving so far away from us but allowed it because of Percival’s character. And a divorce isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you. If you aren't careful, you could wind up with another Omega living here.”

Something vile and poisonous curled in Newt’s stomach at the thought. It was vicious and instinctual and set his teeth on edge.

“Percival would never,” He snapped.

“It’s more common than you think. He’s got the status,” Theseus warned. Newt knew it wasn’t unheard of at all for alphas of a certain prestige to marry a second omega to help carry on their lines.

“He wouldn't do that to me,” He asserted still, certain, “I have every intention of delivering him an heir so it won’t be a problem.”

Theseus didn’t look convinced but nodded all the same.

“I just worry about you, little brother. I know this has been hard on you but you’re so strong, Newt.” Theseus took his hand then and squeezed. It was a rare show of affection, one that almost startled Newt. “You must guard yourself. Don’t give Percival a reason to make your life more difficult.”

For a moment, Newt wondered if Percival had divulged something to Theseus. Something that would worry Theseus about his future.

But Percival had made promises and, if anything, Newt trusted him to keep his word. He was safe with Percival. He always would be.

--

Newt makes the decision on a whim. If he wants this thing between he and Percival, this peace, between them to last, he may have to leave his comfort zone. It’s frightening but cowardice would leave them back where they started.

Or worse.

It’s this sudden spike of bravery that has him packing up the meal Wendi made and apparating to the Woolworth building. Percival’s thrown himself back into his work with a fervor but his health still worries Newt.

He knows his way to Percival’s office this time and bypasses Auror Goldstein’s office despite her double take.

When he finds himself outside of Percival’s door, the dread returns. This was a terrible idea.

“He’s in there.” He hears a voice behind him say. It’s a witch, pretty and blonde. “He’s been in there all day so I’m sure he’ll be happy to see a friendly face. You don’t have to worry.” She tosses him a wink and pats him on the shoulder before leaving.

It’s weird but it does make him feel better. Even if Percival is angry, he’ll just go home and eat alone like normal.

He knocks.

The door swings open on its own, Percival not even looking up from his desk.

“Yes?” He sounds irritated.

"Percival?” Percival’s head snaps up, a shocked look on his face.

“Newt? What are you doing here? Surely not another class trip.”  

“No. I actually bro-brought you dinner. Wendi cooked so you don't have to worry.” Newt says in a rush. Percival’s eyes finally hone in on the basket in Newt’s grasp.

“Oh, Newt,” He says, his voice soft,  “thank you.” He stashes his pen before getting up from his desk. He gestures for Newt to sit down on the couch before joining him.

“I'm sorry if I interrupted.” Newt sets the basket between them and begins fishing things out.

“No. I needed the distraction." Percival accepts an offered napkin.

Newt doesn't know what to say. He and Percival rarely shared conversations over meals when they were at home let alone in the man’s office. Percival was rarely home early enough to attend meals and if he did, Newt usually ignored him in favor of grading papers. If they did speak, the topics proved to be mostly surface level in nature.

“Things are going well? With you being back in the office?” He ventures. It’s a poor opening but he hopes Percival appreciates the effort.

“Hm? I wouldn't say well but they're going. It’s been more frustrating than anything.” He stops to chew and silence laps over them again.

Finally, Percival looks up at him, his brows furrowed. It looks almost as if he’s seeing Newt for the first time.

“Newt, you’re a magizoologist.”

“Um, yes. I am.” Where in the world could this go?

“Do you know what an Obscurus is?”

That’s...not what Newt expected.

“Of course. I teach a section on them in my class. It’s the manifestation of the repressed energy within all magical children. For one to be created, the child would have to endure extreme abuse. They’re quite fascinating. I’ve never encountered one in real life but the man who previously held my position told some very intense stories.”

Percival looks more enraptured than Newt’s ever seen him in a conversation about creatures. Something’s wrong.

“Why are you interested in Obscurials? You’re not, you’re not pursuing one are you, Percival?” While Newt has always believed in field experience, he always cautioned his students. The textbooks weren’t always right and caution needed to be exercised.

“It’s an open case, Newt. I’m afraid I can’t divulge the details. Just...I might have more questions.”

That’s concerning.

They finish their meal and Newt tries to put the anxiety from his him.

He is not successful.

--

Newt decides to spend his day off catching up on some reading. There’s an article on mooncalves he’s been dying to dive into but student work has really been taking its toll. Percival's supposed to stop in for lunch and Newt is surprised at himself: he’s actually excited. Thirty minutes before Percival is set to arrive, he gets cleaned up. He fixes his hair and picks out one of his better shirts to wear.

Wendi sets out a nice lunch tray for them and actually smiles at Newt. It's just a day of surprises.  He grins when he hears the front door open and goes to greet his husband.

“Newt! Good, you're home.” Percival's smile is exhausted but there nonetheless. It’s who’s with him that drowns out Newt's sudden goodwill. “This is Credence. He's going to be staying with us for the foreseeable future.” future.”  Percival's smile still hasn't faltered even though Newt swears the room is suddenly 20 degrees cooler.

Underneath the sour smell of unrealized magic is an unmistakable sweetness. Percival's brought another Omega into their home. Newt wants to shred him.

He never thought Percival would take it this far, that Theseus could possibly be right. The humiliation.

His recent kindness? The ground they’d gained in their marriage? Had it all been for show? For this boy?

Something must show on his face because Percival clears his throat and calls, “Wendi? Will you please take Credence upstairs to help him get settled? I think I need to speak with Newt alone.”

“Of course, Mr. Graves. You is following Wendi now?” the boy looks mystified at the little elf but follows her dutifully. He quietly shuffles past Newt without meeting his eyes.

As well he shouldn't, Newt thinks venomously.

“I'm sorry I didn't let you know I'd be late. Dealing with Credence’s situation has been tricky, to say the least. It took a lot to get clearance for him to stay with us.” He hangs up his coat and loosens his tie. “Hopefully things won't be this way for long.”

“And how do you expect them to be?” Newt asks thickly. Does he still have a place here? Or will Percival want him foisted off somewhere else? That's not uncommon either. Divorce is embarrassing for all involved. Better to ship him off to the country or worse, back to his parents.

“Easier?”

“‘Easier.’” The word doesn’t even feel right echoed on Newt’s tongue, “if you think I'm going to just-just allow this, you are mistaken.”

Percival looks taken aback.

“Newt, Credence needs-”

“I don’t really care what he needs. I won’t have a second in this house. You don't need one. I haven't asked you for much but I won’t entertain a harem.”

“A harem?” Percival's voice is reaching an uncomfortable pitch. “Wait, a second. You think-Credence is not going to be a second omega.”

“Then why is he here?”

“Because needs my help! He's part of the case I'm working! Mercy Lewis, Newt!” Percival looks more taken aback then Newt’s ever seen him. You think so little of me? That I would just parade another Omega into our home? Your home? Newt-"

“I heard your mother talking. She's been looking for a new omega for you for months. Ever since you told her you didn't want me anymore."

The silence between them is deafening. Newt feels his chest heave and wonders where the sudden burst of anger came from. Percival goes pale but doesn't deny the accusation. He can't.

“That wasn't a conversation you were supposed to hear.” He says finally, his voice quiet.

“But I did. And now you've kept your word.” The anguish Newt feels is unexpected. It sits like acid at the base of his spine. Newt feels awful, like an absolute failure. “I think I'm going to vomit,” he says.

Percival takes him by the arm and guides him to the kitchen. Newt takes a seat while Perical gets him a glass of water.

He tries not to cry.

Percival sets the glass on the table next to him.

Newt wipes his eyes tiredly.

“If you want me to move Credence-”

“It’s fine. You said he’s a guest, then that’s that.” Newt tries to keep his voice even but it comes out harsh nonetheless. “This is your home.”

Percival doesn’t flinch per say but his composure slips, just for a second. There’s a crack in his carefully cultivated facade that Newt hasn’t seen before.

“It’s-it’s your home too, Newt,” He says quietly, “It’s our home.”

Newt fights the sudden urge to snort. “I’ve been derelict in my marital duties. Theseus warned me this would happen.”

“Warned you of what? That I’d bring a second omega into our home?”

“Because I haven’t given you an heir. You want someone you desire.” It’s a crushing admission, one Newt has always feared. He had gone to Percival once at the beginning of their marriage, ready to do his duty, only to be summarily rejected. He’d never tried again.

Percival’s sigh is heavy as he sits down next to Newt.

“Newt...I don’t think I’ve done any of this right,” he tucks a loose curl behind Newt’s ear before cupping his cheek, “but understand this, it is never my intention to disrespect you or your position in our home. I swore you a life of contentment and it would appear I’ve broken my promise.”

“Percival…”

“But maybe this is where we get the chance to start over. When I was with Grindelwald,” he shudders and Newt wants so much to comfort him, “I knew I was going to die. I wanted to at some points. I knew you would never come for me."

“You thought I would abandon you?”

“No,  I just didn't think I'd given you reason enough to care.” Percival huffs another sigh, “but you came anyway. You came and you saved my life.”

The urge to cry is suddenly back. Newt doesn't like to think about how close Percival came to death.  “I knew something was wrong. I should have come for you so much sooner, Percival.”

“There was nothing more you could have done and I don’t blame you for staying away. I know that you care. I just hope you know that I care for you as well.” Percival’s voice is so gentle that Newt has to fight the urge to curl into him.

It's not love.

But, then again, Newt didn’t marry Percival for love.

“I will never intentionally hurt you,” Percival says and Newt knows it’s a promise, “regardless of whether we have children. I’ll never have a need for a second.” He presses a the softest of kisses to the crown of Newt’s head and Newt breaks. He curls into Percival’s shoulder and finally exhales.

[snapedefender]

Hello! My English teacher and I were having a conversation about Snape, and one of the points that came up was who Snape blamed/felt was responsible for Lily's death. She felt that he blamed everyone but himself, while I felt that he blamed himself most of all. However neither of us could explain why we felt that using references to the text although I thought Snape must feel some responsibility or he wouldn't be motivated to switch sides. As someone who has analysed the books what do you think?

oooooooh!

well, to be honest, i agree more with you than your teacher but there’s not a whole lot in the book to support either idea entirely (to the exclusion of the other, i mean). we get very little of snape’s headspace re: lily’s death. but here’s my reasoning:

a) the entire scene in the prince’s tale where dumbledore talks snape into looking after harry. snape is clearly teetering on the edge of suicide there (”i wish i were dead”). and we know he loved lily, so it’s clearly grief there. but i would argue that it’s also self-loathing and guilt for his own place in her death, which he clearly is very objective about. he knows what he did, he knows what it cost him. 

b) “only those i could not save” as a line decries a snape who tries to foist blame onto other people. i think that snape is someone who is very aware of the part he plays. he doesn’t say, as he could, “those voldemort killed” for instance. he doesn’t blame the person who he could, rightfully, blame, because it is on voldemort and the other death eaters that these people die. no, snape blames himself. he’s the one who couldn’t save them, so he’s the one responsible for their deaths. and it’s fairly simple to trace that sort of reasoning back to lily and snape’s feelings of responsibility for her death. if he feels responsible for these strangers, with whom he shares nothing, then wouldn’t he also have the same responsibility for lily, where he acutally did play a role and did have a hand? 

c) however i do think your teacher has a point - snape certainly does blame voldemort and sirius (before he knows about pettigrew). rightfully so (well, in voldemort’s case - but snape is misinformed about black, so he thinks he’s in the right). i just don’t think that snape is foisting the blame from himself onto them, even though he feasibly could. that’s not in snape’s character. snape is very self-aware and cognizant of his place and his responsibilities - i think snape places blame as is appropriate, and he thinks it’s appropriate that he shoulder some of it. 

but like i said, it’s really impossible to say entirely one way or the other simply bc we just don’t get enough of snape’s headspace. however, based on his characterization and the scenes mentioned above, i think it’s more likely than not that snape includes himself in the circle of blame about lily’s death. he’s not blind to his faults or unaware of his mistakes - indeed, i would argue he tends to be particularly clear-eyed when it comes to his failures and mistakes. 

[delilahmidnight]

I think the thing that bothered me most about zaras death (besides the absolutely OBSCENE length of it) was the idea that she was meant to be a stand in for Claire, in that, she represented that non-maternal, work-obsessed part of Claire that the narrative thought was morally wrong and sought to destroy/change. Though since Claire is the protagonist, they can't actually kill her, so they kill zara instead. Think about it. Both Claire and Zara are shown (badly, unfairly, and inaccurately, in my opinion) to be """selfish""" in some way, inattentive to family or children, superficial, uninterested in any aspect of their lives or the world other than their careers. Claire """foists""" her nephews off onto her assistant who in turn makes the unforgivable mistake of losing track of them for ten seconds while she plans her upcoming wedding. These are grave sins for women to make, because, as we all know, women are not allowed to not be interested in children or to be more interested in themselves and their careers than in family life (/sarcasm). So anyway, they set up these two """selfish""" women, make the one who's a main character """grow/change""", so that by the end of the movie she has experienced her heteronormative awakening and """"suddenly"""" cares about her nephews and is for some reason attracted to the man with whom she was so at odds a mere 24 hours before; and as for the minor character--she gets to pay for the sins of her boss as well as her own. Prioritizing her wedding planning over the boys for *ten seconds* and losing track of Claire's (not even her own!!! Her boss's!!!) nephews is an error serious enough to warrant that horrible thirty second long death scene. But the punishment doesn't NEARLY got the crime. I read a comparison somewhere btwn zara and that lawyer guy from the 1st movie who abandons the kids in the jeep and runs in the toilet to hide, and is subsequently eaten first, and horribly. But that guy, at least in terms of the narrative, deserved what he got, for leaving two children alone against a t-rex in order to save himself. He was actually sacrificing their lives for his. Zaras actions were not even close. She was by the boys' sides the whole time, while still letting them wander and take the park in at their own pace. It was Zach who decided to ditch her, not the other way around. When she realized the boys were missing, in her own words, she looked everywhere for them, and when Claire called her she was frantic. She does everything in her limited power to get them back to their aunt safely, and at the moment she's carried off, she's telling them to get to safety. Same applies to Claire's character. She's not ditching the boys because she hates kids. She legitimately has meetings she has to attend as CEO of the park to make sure it runs smoothly. (And yes I know CAPITALISM!!!! trust me I've already wrestled intellectually with the moral dilemma of the environmental costs to destroying a modern island ecosystem just to support one that shouldn't even exist in order to make money I KNOW PEOPLE!!!) But *she* is the one to call out to Gray when she sees him, recognizes him despite not having seen him for SEVEN YEARS (which, according to his wiki page, would make him FOUR when Claire last saw him--do you know how much kids change between 4 and 11?? And Claire recognized him from *the back of his head*--she clearly knew him very very well) and seems genuinely excited to see him. She worries about them constantly and even teams up with someone she cant stand to rescue them. She's not emotionless or a robot, even before their dramatic reunion during the dimorphodon/pterodactyl attack. But the narrative constantly treats her like she's "missing the mom gene" (aka a fundamental part of being a human woman apparently /sarcasm) and like she has to learn how to feel and care. She gets to grow as a character, and Zara is punished for her sins. *That's* what really bothers me about Zara's death. Its a warning for those women who dare to be selfish.

[schraubd]

My Healthcare Story

The House of Representatives, in a razor-thin 217-213 vote, has voted to repeal and replace Obamacare with the AHCA. The crucial amendment to get conservatives onboard was to allow states to eviscerate the protections for patients with pre-existing conditions. I've mentioned before on this blog that I've suffered from kidney stones. Right now I'm in the process of doing some tests to figure out my risk factors and what, if anything, I should change in my diet or lifestyle to make them less likely (since, as Rep. Mo Brooks (R-AL) was so quick to remind us, any health problems I have are evidence of nothing more than my own degraded character). That's how it should be: when I'm sick, the focus should be on getting me better. My health care should be a conversation between me and my doctor. My investment advisor shouldn't need to play a role. But the advent of the GOP vote has, of course, made me worry about whether kidney stones qualify as a "preexisting condition." After all, I'm not going to stay at Berkeley forever. So what would happen to me if I need to switch insurance or -- worse yet -- lose it altogether? Kidney stones aren't the most expensive condition one can have, but they're not nothing either. Since they onset completely unexpectedly, they can send you to the emergency room at the drop of a hat. And they sometimes require surgery to remove (as mine did -- more on that below). My best guess is that it's unlikely that I'd be denied coverage altogether because of my past history, but it's possible that a new plan would exclude coverage for any future stone-related problems. Which sucks, because kidney stones are scary enough without having to worry about how to pay to treat them. One argument one occasionally hears about foisting more costs onto sick patients is that it gives us additional "skin in the game" that inspires us to make better and more cost-effective choices. So I figured I'd offer a story on that front, because I don't think that makes any sense at all. As I said, I recently had surgery to remove my kidney stone. But I almost didn't. Kidney stones are strange in that they can lie dormant for awhile -- lulling you into a false sense of security -- before roaring back to life and causing agonizing pain. This is particularly nettlesome because, especially with a smaller stone, it's possible to pass them without realizing it. So if you go through several months with no pain, is it because the stone has passed or is it just playing possum? My stone was about 4 millimeters, which is on the small side. My urologist told me that a 4 mm stone will pass on its own about 70% of the time. I had been having attacks of pain about once every 1.5 - 2 months since the fall, and it did not seem to be passing on its own. So after the latest bout of pain in January, we scheduled me for surgery in March -- with the caveat that if it passed before then, we'd cancel the surgery. The weeks pass, and I'm feeling fine. I didn't notice it pass. But again, I knew sometimes they pass without you noticing. Certain elements of how the stone had been progressing in prior bouts of pain made it plausible that the last bout really was the last bout. We did an X-Ray to see if we could pinpoint the stone inside me, but it was inconclusive. My urologist pointed to a vague spot and said maybe that's the stone ... but maybe it's nothing. X-Rays aren't actually all that good at picking up kidney stones. And unfortunately, there wasn't any safe way to know for sure if the stone was still inside me other than simply doing the surgery. As we approached the day of the surgery, I asked my doctor if he thought we should go through with it. It was not implausible that the stone had already passed, after all. Moreover, I'd never had real surgery before, and was a bit nervous. The procedure entailed full anesthesia, followed by threading a scope up my urethra, into my ureter, and blasting apart the stone with lasers. They'd leave a stent inside me to handle residual bleeding, and that would be removed in about a week. Objectively, it's not so bad -- but you can imagine "having a tube stuck up my dick" isn't exactly on my bucket list, either. And how silly would I feel if I had the surgery and it turned out there was no stone at all! The doctor listened to me. And he said that it was, indeed, possible that the stone had already passed. We could simply wait another couple of months and see what develops. The problem with that was (a) he still thought it was more likely than not that the stone had not, in fact, passed and (b) there's no guarantee that if I had another attack, they'd be able to schedule me for surgery promptly. Ultimately, his recommendation was to go through with the surgery as planned. So I did. And when I woke up, I was told that yes, the stone was inside me, and they had successfully removed it. Moreover, he told me that the stone would have never passed on its own. My ureter was significantly enflamed and swollen around where the stone had nestled; it had gotten so narrow that it was physically impossible for the stone to go any further (I gather things were so tight in there that it had also made it no easy thing for the surgeon to even reach the stone with his laser. Good job, surgeon!). All of this is run-up to the following: My kidney stone surgery cost me, with insurance, a little less than $1,000. That's not chump change. But without surgery, it would have cost closer to $10,000. That's more than a third of the annual salary of your average Berkeley grad student. Had I been paying that money out of pocket, I almost certainly would have ignored my doctor's advice and delayed the surgery. Which, as we now know, would have been the wrong decision. How wrong? I'm not sure -- I thankfully do not now need to know exactly how dangerous a badly enflamed, swollen, and rapidly narrowing ureter might have been. In short, the only thing having (more) "skin in the game" would have done for me is caused me to have made the wrong medical decision. Because I'm not a doctor. I have no medical expertise. I'm not in a position to make smarter medical decisions just because I have to pay more for them. The most likely result of my having to pay a ton of money for medical expenses is me making bad medical choices. Thankfully, because I had insurance I made my choice for the right reasons -- the sound, professional advice of my specialist doctor who actually knows how kidneys work. And thank goodness for that. In any event, now I've had kidney stones and kidney stone surgery, which means I may well be in "pre-existing condition" land (albeit far less so than, say, a cancer survivor). Which means that in the GOP world, it's quite plausible that if I leave Berkeley (which I no doubt will) and have to change insurers, I may no longer be covered for at least this particular medical problem. If my kidney stones come back, I won't be able to concentrate on, say, getting emergency pain relief or whether I need another surgery. My friend Josh Blackman says there is a "contradiction" around the discourse re: pre-existing conditions: nobody wants to exclude them, until people learn that including them increases costs. Which, Blackman says, of course they do -- there's no such thing as a free lunch. I'd note that there's an ambiguity here: requiring coverage of pre-existing conditions doesn't necessarily increase costs so much as it redistributes them -- at least in a system where one can't opt-out of the medical system altogether (and here I'm talking less about a mandate and more about guaranteed access to emergency care. Unless we switch to a system whereby uninsured people are left to die in the streets, we're still "paying" for their healthcare). Persons who are relatively healthy pay a little more so that persons who are very sick pay a lot less, but the overall cost doesn't change (a simplification, of course, but it will do). As it happens, even with this particular pre-existing condition I don't know whether I-as-an-individual am a net gainer or loser in the protect-preexisting-conditions world (other than kidney stones, I'm a relatively young and healthy man). But either way, I'm absolutely willing to pay my share so that I and others like me -- or not so like me -- can have the healthcare that they need. It strikes me as beyond petty for me to resent the possibility that others might "use" the benefits of health insurance more than I do. I should be so lucky! The best thing that could happen to me is for me to never again have reason to access the benefits of my health insurance other than routine checkups and peace of mind. But if I happen not to be so lucky, then I'll be grateful that I'll get the care that I need to survive and thrive. There are many, many people for whom the AHCA will impact far more severely than me -- from cancer survivors to persons needing organ donations.to victims of sexual assault. These people will see their lives made much worse if the AHCA passes. But there are a lot more Americans for whom the AHCA "only" will make our lives a little worse. A little scarier. A little more insecure. A little more unknown. A little less protected. I had hoped we could beat the AHCA in the House. But House Republicans were determined to pass a bill they didn't fully understand, whose provisions  had not been scored by the CBO, and from whose dictates they exempted themselves. We have 18 months to make them pay for their hubris. via The Debate Link http://ift.tt/2qFGnQf

[swipestream]

The Heretics of St. Possenti

The Heretics of St. Possenti, by Rolf Nelson, presents the story of a disillusioned bishop heading off into the American backwoods to establish a monastery dedicated to the usual sorts of monkish activities. You know the kind: growing their own food, praying at regular hours, singing matins every midnight, studying the bible, learning a trade, practicing close order combat drills, making and selling ammunition on the open market, scaring away Federal officials by using threats of violent resistance…the usual.

Wait, what?

The Heretics of Saint Possenti represents the best that literature has to offer. On the surface, it’s the story of how a new monastic order might spring up in these days when civilization teeters on the precipice of the next great turning of the wheel. When presented with the challenge of bringing men, particularly young men, back into the folds of the Catholic Church, Bishop Thomas Cranberry wisely looks to the most vulnerable men in American society – those with nothing left to lose and those most in need of a life line. He finds them in the backalleys and bars of anytown USA, almost all veterans who have been ill served by the country that spent their youth and sanity overseas in the pursuit of vague promises of building a better world. The Bishop approaches the problem of bringing men into the Church in a novel way – by listening to them and realizing that the modern palliatives of “man up”, “drug up”, and “shut the hell up” just don’t work in a country that views them as disposable and that rejects men’s need for camaraderie, physical competition, and quiet contemplation.

After a slow introduction in which Bishop Cranberry simply meets and listens to a cross section of men in his town, he learns that there is far more to modern masculinity than the seminary ever suggested.  The lack of action early in the book is counterbalanced by frequent discussions about masculinity that we aren’t supposed to have in these modern, “enlightened” times.

The Bishop closes his mouth and learns from a wide range of men – surprisingly thoughtful men, he finds – and experiences the revitalizing power of strength training and combat sports. Over the opening quarter of the book, he slowly develops a plan so audacious that he dare not reveal the particulars until he has already proven its effectiveness. With a small investment from his local Cardinal, Bishop Cranberry takes the lost men of his town, those heathy enough in mind and body to still desire a way out of their predicament, and gives them something to live for. They find a patch of woods where they can be free to work on themselves – mind, body, and spirit – and where they can help each other recuperate from the trauma of their modern lives.

Interwoven and buttressing the story of the monastery itself are the stories of the men who help the Bishop establish this strange new monastery. Some were chewed up by a military industrial complex focused more on finances than the welfare of the men it claims to serve. Some were ground down by the self-contradictory demands of a culture that demands they be strong enough to surrender at a moment’s notice to the latest whims of the nearest victim group. And some just want to be a part of something bigger than the next quarterly profit report. Their stories are poignant, and provide the glue that holds together a novel that often diverges into philosophical debates about the nature of manhood, self-defense, meditation, sexual mores, and the finer points that distinguish one rifle from the next.

It’s an odd sort of book that sometimes feels like a post-apocalyptic novel, albeit one in which the blasted wasteland that surrounds the monastery is spiritual rather than physical. With numerous digressions into the sort of logistics porn that runs through more traditional post-apocalyptic fare, these passages underscore the valuable effects of self-sufficiency on a man’s psyche. The discussions about firearms, ammunition, and the economies of both fit into the narrative naturally and unobtrusively, with a man’s view of firearms revealing much about his character.

The book also shatters a number of common misconceptions about who monks were and how they lived. Scholars of the post-Enlightment years have foisted onto the public a one-dimensional view of monasteries as grim and soulless places populated entirely by weak men condemned to live out their days in gray drudgery. The Heretics of St. Possenti presents monks as they really were – strong, but often damaged, men seeking escape from the secular world for a time for reasons as varied as the men inside the cloistered walls. Some are stoic and no-nonsense, some are smart-alecs, and some are just not meant for the live of a monk. All have their time on stage, and all bring both joy and sorrow to the monastery as they underscore the hidden costs of society’s destruction of the ties that once bound good men together as a community.

The success of the monastery is shown in a series of third-act vignettes. When the original class of monks completes their term of service and return to the world full time, they act with swift certainty in the face of danger. They confront the challenges of modern life head on, and with the support of other men who have their backs come what may make the world a better place to live. This final vision of men who stand together, for the good of each other rather than as a sacrifice to ephemeral notions of “it takes a village”, is one sure to chill the bones of any globalist-minded reader who manages to survive the preceding two acts that strip away their delusions and show men as they are, not as the left wishes them to be.

It’s not a book for everyone. The close-minded and pessimistic will find their worldview challenged, as will those who view any expression of masculinity toxic.  Open-minded men seeking answers – and the women seeking to understand what drives western men – will find this book a fascinating look at everything from friendship to survivalism to religious practice in a secular age and even the politics of the Catholic Church. If you can handle the idea of warrior-monks operating on a cancer ridden culture with all of the bloody tools at their disposal, give The Heretics of St. Possenti a shot – you won’t regret it.

Saint Possenti himself

This review glossed over the striking contrast present in men dedicated to the Church who spend their days practicing close combat, at the shooting range, and working in an ammunition factory. It seems self-evident to anyone who knows the role the Church and its men have played in defending Europe from barbarian hordes of many different stripes, but for those interested in one aspect of that relationship, here’s the story of Saint Possenti, the patron saint of handgunners and the monastery’s name-sake (from gunsaint.com):

In 1860, a band of soldiers from the army of Garibaldi entered the mountain village of Isola, Italy. They began to burn and pillage the town, terrorizing its inhabitants.

Possenti, with his seminary rector’s permission, walked into the center of town, unarmed, to face the terrorists. One of the soldiers was dragging off a young woman he intended to rape when he saw Possenti and made a snickering remark about such a young monk being all alone.

Possenti quickly grabbed the soldier’s revolver from his belt and ordered the marauder to release the woman. The startled soldier complied, as Possenti grabbed the revolver of another soldier who came by. Hearing the commotion, the rest of the soldiers came running in Possenti’s direction, determined to overcome the rebellious monk.

At that moment a small lizard ran across the road between Possenti and the soldiers. When the lizard briefly paused, Possenti took careful aim and struck the lizard with one shot. Turning his two handguns on the approaching soldiers, Possenti commanded them to drop their weapons. Having seen his handiwork with a pistol, the soldiers complied. Possenti ordered them to put out the fires they had set, and upon finishing, marched the whole lot out of town, ordering them never to return. The grateful townspeople escorted Possenti in triumphant procession back to the seminary, thereafter referring to him as “the Savior of Isola”.

The Heretics of St. Possenti published first on http://ift.tt/2zdiasi

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Speech by Foreign Minister Steinmeier at the opening of the German-Colombian Peace Institute

Speech by Foreign Minister Steinmeier at the opening of the German-Colombian Peace Institute

-- Translation of advance text --

Esteemed Minister of Foreign Affairs, my dear Maria Angéla, Members of the German Bundestag, Friends of the German-Colombian Peace Institute, Ladies and gentlemen!

I am delighted to be here in Bogotá and to join you in getting the German-Colombian Peace Institute on the road.

After all, Germany is a close partner to Colombia on its journey towards a comprehensive peace.

I had the opportunity this morning to gain a direct impression of what has been achieved so far and what still needs to be done. My fellow Foreign Minister, Maria Angéla, invited me to join her in visiting the Mesetas demobilisation zone, where FARC fighters are gathering to begin the demobilisation process. The place is far away from Bogotá and even further from Havana, where the peace agreement was negotiated. And yet it is at Mesetas that the peace agreement really takes shape for me. Not everything is finished – far from it. Much remains to be done. But people there are working very hard to build. They are working on peace in a very real way. It is a construction site for peace, and I find that a very strong, positive symbol.

***

Ladies and gentlemen,

The very fact that Colombia has a chance to build peace right now did not just fall from the sky. Colombia’s recent history in particular has demonstrated how easily such projects can fail. The agreement is the outcome of a long and difficult negotiating process, initiated by the courageous policy of President Santos, carried by the realisation that there simply could not be a military solution after decades of bloodshed, and effectively supported by international partners who helped generate the trust that such negotiations require.

The success of the talks with FARC, having resulted in a viable negotiated solution, is first and foremost a message of hope for Colombia. But not just for Colombia. With this armistice, Colombia is also sending a message for other violent conflicts around the world that appear quite impossible to resolve: peace is possible! However intractable the situation, even if the conflict has cost countless lives on both sides, peace is possible if people have the willingness, courage and patience to persevere with determined and difficult negotiations. And if each is willing to make concessions that go right to the limits of what they can find acceptable. Only in these conditions, when those involved refuse to settle for yet more rounds of conflict and yet more casualties, then the apparently impossible can be achieved. Then, prospects arise again for a people ground down by decades of civil war and violence; fresh hope is born.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the message that Colombia is sending – a message that truly deserves the Nobel Peace Prize! Congratulations.

***

Ladies and gentlemen,

In his family saga “La Oculta”, Colombian author Héctor Abad portrays the deep scars that the violent conflict has left behind in the lives of Colombian families.

At one point, he recounts the suffering of Pilar, one of the novel’s main characters, when her son is kidnapped by FARC and taken into the cold Colombian highlands, into agonising uncertainty. He writes, “Those were hard times: we lived without living, slept without sleeping, ate without eating, and night after night we dreamt terrible dreams.” (Not from official translation.)

On my last visit to Colombia, I was able to spend a lot of time acquainting myself with similar real stories. I had the chance to talk to a young woman who had suffered just such a fate herself. She had fallen into the hands of FARC at the age of 13. She was forced to live with the rebels for years, constantly fearing for her life as she considered her next escape attempt. Only after six years had she succeeded and fled here to Bogotá. She told me how it was tearing her up inside, that fear of her homeland, fear of the vengeance of FARC, fear of her family. And she told me about the thousands of families which had had sons and daughters snatched away, whether by FARC or paramilitary groups.

I was deeply moved by those conversations with former members of FARC and paramilitary organisations. They gave us a lasting impression of how deep the wounds go that this conflict has left behind in society. There is hardly a family in this country that has not been scarred by decades of civil war. I am sure that each and every one of you in this room could tell me the same or a similar story.

In consequence, the peace agreement cannot mark the end of the road. It is going to take perseverance and strength from the whole of society to take this compromise between the Colombian Government and FARC and quickly underpin and build on it in such a way as to truly generate social reconciliation in Colombia. I am profoundly impressed to see many victims willing to reach out a hand in reconciliation to their tormentors. That willingness is cause for optimism. At the same time, there are many highly complex and contentious issues to be resolved: how the crimes of all violent groups are to be handled judicially, what the prospects of this process are for victims of the conflict, by what means and methods reconciliation is to be managed and the remaining armed groups dealt with, and finally, how socio-economic tensions are to be overcome.

***

Ladies and gentlemen,

It is here in Colombia and by you, the people of Colombia, that solutions to these sensitive issues will need to be found. But you will not be alone. Germany is a close partner to Colombia. The agreement with FARC enshrines the request that Germany lend its assistance in the implementation, particularly in matters of transitional justice and reconciliation. We will do so gladly! But we aren’t doing it because we think we have the perfect answers to those convoluted questions. We’re not trying to foist ready-made German solutions onto our Colombian partners. Germany has its own experience of overcoming divisions within society, after our country was torn apart by injustice, violence and oppression under the Nazi regime and then split into East and West until 1989/90. There is no blueprint for dealing with your own history. But perhaps our experience can be helpful as Colombia searches for its own path.

***

Ladies and gentlemen,

That was the logic behind the idea for the German-Colombian Peace Institute. It has been most particularly fostered and supported right from the start, notably by Members of the German Bundestag. Special thanks go to Edelgard Bulmahn and Tom Koenigs, who is accompanying me today and who has been providing me with a lot of advice in recent years in his capacity as my Envoy to the Colombian Peace Process. 

It is also thanks to your input, fellow Bundestag members, that we are launching an institute today which will not take a didactic tone but will seek to generate new possibilities for action by means of learning together, researching together and fostering exchange between our two countries. 

The German-Colombian Institute is an additional pillar to our cultural relations and education policy and to our work for peace and reconciliation in Colombia.

It is built on firm foundations of practical work for peace that Germany and Colombia have been jointly engaged in for more than ten years.

It is bolstered by superb academic cooperation involving more than 150 partnerships between universities – particularly, of course, those which constitute the Peace Institute’s consortium in Germany. Professor Marauhn, please accept my sincere thanks for that on behalf of all the members of your consortium.

Ladies and gentlemen,

All that being said, today is not just about launching the institute. You have already been getting things going. I know that the Colombian and German consortium partners agreed on a number of initial pilot projects yesterday, which they intend to start in early March, not only here in Bogotá but around the regions too.

You agreed, for example, to develop the economic prospects of sustainable agriculture in the former conflict regions. You intend to dedicate intensive efforts to building a post-conflict society, by enhancing participation in decision-making processes, working on the psycho-social preconditions and possibilities of reconciliation measures and making peace education part of the school curriculum.

We want to support you in those endeavours, mobilising the expertise of the Georg Eckert Institute for International Textbook Research as well as the requisite financial resources.

And we will continue working on a project with you that is particularly close to my heart. This is a project that demonstrates how important that third pillar of our robust relationship is: alongside practical action and academic expertise, we need broad-based, civil-society-led cultural engagement with sport and the arts. 

It’s about learning the rules of the game, not at school desks or in lecture halls but on the football pitch. More than 50 coaches have been trained, and more than 4000 children and young people have taken part. One of them wrote this to us: “On the pitch, I learned to help people, to have tolerance for others and not to reject other people’s feelings and ideas.” That’s exactly what it’s about. And that’s why we will continue to fund that pilot project over the next three years.

We are also going to help organise that cooperation between academia, the arts, civil society and the political sphere by means of a group of friends of the German-Colombian Peace Institute.

I have been told, Natalia Léon, that the Goethe-Institut and Experimenta Sur are ready to play their part, as are the German and Colombian arms of streetfootballworld – and that you, Heinrich von Berenberg and Héctor Abad, are at their side, together with Martha Nubia, future head of the National Museum of Memory, and Raphael Gross, new head of the German Historical Museum.

I can only congratulate you on that and urge you to continue integrating the German-Colombian Peace Institute into the cultural sphere and civil society far beyond the academic world.

***

Ladies and gentlemen,

As I draw these remarks to a close, let me go back to Pilar, the character in Héctor Abad’s novel. Someone tells her, “Just imagine everything behind the fog was the way it used to be.” Pilar replies, “I can’t.”

As I see it, those lines contain a profound insight. Even when the past is obscured by some fog, it remains present and it influences the present. With our own history, we Germans have had to learn how painful it can and sometimes has to be to actively remember and to work on the fractures and wounds affecting a society – and how liberating and healing too. Be assured, therefore: you have a partner in Germany. A partner for peace. And now we even have a joint Peace Institute!

Thank you very much.

from UK & Germany http://www.auswaertiges-amt.de/EN/Infoservice/Presse/Reden/2017/170113_Rede_COL_Friedensinstitu.html?nn=479796