#but then my mental illness got the best of me n my BFF turned into my FP n my disorganized attachment style n self hatred ruined it all lmao

[bo0zey]

i’ve had a friendcrush on you since like 2015 but i am so fucking awkward i don’t know how to start a conversation

WAIT STOP cuz if it's a friendcrush from 2015 then i gaurantee u there's like a 99% chance that it's mutual n i was too much of an awkward chicken to say/do anything abt it n deadass had to placate myself w delulu daydreams of a future that existed where everything was mutual💀 ...........

[sunghoons-mole]

Come Over

you’ve dealt with depression for a majority of your life, but your best friend Sunghoon was always there to help you through it. you were his person, after all - as he was yours. but he never told you how he wished for something stronger. 

GENRE // bff!park sunghoon x reader

WARNINGS // mentions of depression and anxiety. **DISCLAIMER:** all details are taken from my own personal experiences with mental illness and do not reflect or represent everyone with depression/anxiety. 

FROM THE AUTHOR // whew its been a while since i’ve been on here... life is hard and kicking my ass. that’s what inspired this, after all... with all my mental health issues, sometimes i wish enha would come hug me and tell me everything’s okay... so i can write about it and fall into the fantasy. ah. lets pretend for a bit, shall we? 

Do you need me to come over?

You stared at the text, balled up in your favorite blanket. He had sent it about fifteen minutes ago, and all you could do was stare at it. Your cheeks were dry from the tears you hadn’t bothered to wipe away, letting them soak into your skin. 

You wanted Sunghoon to come over more than you wanted anything in the world right now, but you were afraid. Afraid of being an inconvenience. Afraid of asking for help. Afraid of him seeing you this way.

He’d been there through your worst times, but this time was different. You didn’t leave your apartment; You barely left your bed, even. You hadn’t been able to shower yet today, and couldn’t bring yourself to make anything to eat. Everything felt terrible. 

After some time, you decided to respond. Your fingers felt heavy as you typed back.

No, I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.

You clicked the phone off and rolled over, burying your face in the blanket and sighing. Maybe some more sleep will make everything go away. You didn’t even know how you were still tired after napping all day, but you felt as though you could sleep for another several days. 

Thoughts of the texts you had sent Sunghoon flooded your brain as you laid with your eyes closed. Was it a bad idea? Did you stress him out? He probably had more important things to do, other things to worry about. 

Just as you were drifting off, you heard the key to your apartment turning, and the door quietly being opened. The boots against the kitchen floor were a sound you knew all too well. 

All of a sudden your heart quickened as you remembered that you hadn’t showered. You were suddenly aware of how gross you felt, how you must smell strange, but it was too late. The footsteps down the hall that you had hoped for suddenly filled you with dread. 

A soft knock on the doorframe had you rolling over to face him. You swore you had never seen anything as beautiful as Sunghoon in the entrance to your bedroom, in sweatpants and a t-shirt, holding a bag of crappy fast food in one hand and a smoothie in the other. He smiled at you, a bright, loving smile, and kicked his shoes off, setting the smoothie down on your side table. 

“I will worry about you, actually.”

You felt tears coming for the millionth time that day, except this time they were caused by gratitude. 

Sunghoon’s heart almost split in two when he walked in the room, seeing you with tear-stained eyes and hair tangled. You looked so unlike the happy Y/N he knew and loved. He decided then and there he’d do whatever it took to return the smile to your face and the sparkle to your eyes. He needed it to keep himself going. 

“I got you a smoothie, and something to eat, so you better eat all of it. I assume you haven’t really eaten.” He shoved the bag at you and sat on the bed next to you, running a hand through his dark fluffy locks. You sat up and took the bag of food, suddenly hungry for the first time that day. Sunghoon grinned at you again, patting your leg reassuringly through the blanket. “Let’s watch something, yeah? Or do you want to talk?”

You chose to watch a show, handing him the remote. After a few episodes and some food, he turned to ask how you were doing. His eyes were a mixture of compassion and concern, and it made you want to lie, just so he wouldn’t look like he was ready to fall apart. 

“Hoon, thank you for this. I really needed it. I’m sorry if I took you away from anything...” You crumpled up the bag and set it aside, slurping up the last of the smoothie. It was absolutely delicious. 

“Of course, Y/N. Don’t ever apologize. Not for this.” He scooted closer and put his arm around you, rubbing your shoulder. 

You almost succumbed to his embrace before you remembered that you still hadn’t showered. You pulled away quickly, earning a confused look from Sunghoon. “Are you okay? Did I do something?”

Your eyes watered at his attentiveness. “No, Hoon, I’m sorry...” You buried your face in your hands, feeling awful once again. “If I’m being honest, I really need that. I just need someone to hold me, to make sure I don’t fall apart. Everything hurts right now. And I just want you to hold me, and I want to be okay.”

“Y/N, I’ll hold you as long as you want. I promise. I’m not going anywhere.” Sunghoon pulled you back, but you pushed a hand to his chest. “What’s wrong? You can tell me.”

He hoped it wasn’t him. He didn’t know how he’d deal with himself if he’d screwed up. 

“I haven't showered!” You sobbed, breaking down again. You covered your face again, trying to disappear. 

Then you heard a laugh. 

You peeked through your fingers at Sunghoon, who was giggling at you. He thought you were adorable in the way that you worried about such things, especially when you were having much larger problems. 

“What?” you whispered, sniffling.

“I didn’t really notice that you... hadn’t showered.” He grinned, pulling your hands away from your face. “And I don’t think I care all that much. You’re my best friend. I need to be here for you. Even if you stink.”

“Do I?” Your eyes widened. 

He laughed again, . “No, Y/N. You smell normal. Like a human. Now come here, please. I want to help you.” He silently prayed that you’d let him hold you. It was his favorite pastime. Oh, how he wished he could follow up with a kiss. But friends don’t kiss, do they?

You settled into his arms, sighing at the scent of him and his warmth. He wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back gently and setting his chin on top of your head. “Everything will work itself out, you know that?”

You closed your eyes, hearing the hum of his voice through his chest. “I’d like to think it will.”

“It will. I’ll make sure of it.” He moved his hand to stroke your hair, making you sigh again. It felt so nice to be held. You knew that at this moment, Sunghoon was the very glue that was holding you together, keeping you from falling apart and losing your sanity. You couldn’t believe you had told him he didn’t need to come over, because now that he had you were positive that there wasn’t any other way. 

“I love you, Hoon. You’re my best friend.” You sighed into him, giving him a little squeeze. You heard his heartbeat quicken.

“I love you, you know. I mean, there’s no way for you not to know.” He planted a kiss on top of your hair, and your heartbeat matched his. 

“Am I your best friend?” You felt childish asking.  “You are.”

You didn’t know why you were asking these things, just that the reassurance was helping to soothe your nerves. “And you love me like your best friend?”

Sunghoon’s breath caught in his throat. “Well, no...” 

You froze, as did his hand on your back. “You don’t love me as your best friend?”

Sunghoon settled his chin on your head again, and twirled a strand of your hair. The TV seemed so distant, and you weren’t even sure if the volume was on anymore. You couldn’t hear it, couldn't even process anything in the room that wasn’t your body or Sunghoons. 

He sighed, heavily. “Y/N, I’m afraid I love you a lot more than that.” 

~

Thanks for reading! With love, sunghoons-mole <3

[crazy-little-cool-cat]

Gold Digger - Chapter 3 | Gwilym Lee x OFC

A/N: So back to our regular Saturday schedule only it’s Wednesday, we are! Sorry for the long wait, I had some family things to take care of and whatnot.

Warnings: The usual?

Word Count: ~3.4K

Warnings: Cross-over (I miss those HiG idiots so much), swearing, alcohol use, Joe shenanigans.

The Playlist (updates regularly)

Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Lizzie and Shelly were in some foul moods. They've been arguing for nearly half an hour now. Although Lizzie promised Shelly a Gwil-a-thon, she changed her mind because she was feeling quite ill. Sniffles, coughs, and sneezes where the majority of the sounds emanating out of her. Balls of tissues surrounded her on the living room sofa, empty mugs of tea decorated the coffee table. Her ducky slippers poked from under the blanket she covered herself with. Her Grumpy Cat pajamas indicating that she hadn't left the house that day. Shelly, however, did not care in the slightest. She was promised a binge session and she was going to do whatever it took to make it happen.

"I don't care if you're under the weather, and I don't understand what it has to do with watching some telly." Shelly planted her hands on her hips and tapped her foot impatiently. "I want to see your Prince Charming act, alright?!"

"Do you dot udderstadd the word doe?" Lizzie croaked inbetween sniffles. "Christ!"

Shelly scoffed and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. Then, a lightbulb seemed to go off in her head, because she had a devilish glint in her eyes.

"Doe, a deer?" Shelly smirked. "A female deer?"

"Oh, God." Lizzie grumbled and slapped her palm to her face. "Dot this."

"Raaaaaaay," Shelly bellowed, "a drop of golden suuuuuun!"

"Shelly, please stop."

"Me," Shelly puffed out her chest and pointed upwards, "A name I call myself!"

"Shells, please!"

"Faaaaa," Shelly ignored her, "a long, long way to run!"

"Shelly!" Lizzie barked.

"Yes?"

"Why?!"

"Because I know how that movie terrifies you." Shelly shrugged. "Seeeeew, a needle pulling thread!"

"Shelly!!!"

"Laaaaaa!" Shelly's voice rose in octaves, "a note to follow Sew!"

"For cry-eed out loud, woo-bad!"

"Teaaaaaa," Shelly carried on, "a drink with jam and bread!"

"Fide!" Lizzie raised her hands in surrender, "fide. We'll watch Jabestowd. Just please stop!"

"Oh, alright."

"Thakes, Shells." Lizzie groaned.

"You know, you really do talk gibberish when you're sick." Shelly noted and sat down on the armchair, keeping a safe distance from her sick roommate and best friend. "It's alright though. I speak fluent "Ill-zie."

"You're such a dork."

"Get it? Ill-zie?"

"Yes, Shelly." Lizzie said as she put on the first episode.

"It's like Lizzie but with jumbled up letters!"

"Shut up already! It's starting!"

###

A week after the "Gwil-a-thon", Lizzie kept radio-silent when it came to him. Watching him on screen made her swoon. Knowing how talented he was made her head spin. The fact that she's now friends with someone like him made her heart stop. None of it made any sense to her. Why would someone like that be interested in someone like her? She couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that an actual celebrity wanted her company. 'A bloody schoolteacher', as she fondly referred to herself as she got drunk on wine with Shelly on a Saturday night, fully healed from her flu. Then, her phone notified there's an incoming message, and Lizzie's heart dropped right to her knickers.

'My mate's coming by for a visit next week and we're going to this party. Would you like to be our plus one?'

Lizzie sighed and tapped her finger against her cheek as she contemplated her response. She didn't know much about who Gwilym's friends were, or the kind of parties they enjoy going to. She also hasn't really spoken to him at all for a whole week after binge-watching everything he was ever in with Shelly. Her green eyes bore holes into the screen as she pondered over it. She blew a soft curl away from her face, pensive.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Shelly quipped as she poured them both glasses of white wine.

"Gwil invited me to a party with one of his mates next week." Lizzie looked up and reach her hand out, opening and closing her fingers.

"Go!" Shelly barked and gave Lizzie her glass. "Go!!!"

"I don't even know the lad -"

"You'll get to know him at the party!"

"- and I haven't spoken to Gwil at all, all week. Don't you think it'll look a bit sketchy if I suddenly jump on the opportunity?" Lizzie pouted.

"He doesn't seem to think anything of your silence, Liz." Shelly noted. "He probably just assumed you were busy being a bloody schoolteacher, you know."

"Hm."

Shelly and Lizzie stared at her phone for a minute before Shelly snatched it away and unlocked the screen.

"Hey!" Lizzie cried.

"Shut up, I'm doing you a big favour here!" Shelly pushed Lizzie back with one hand and texted 'sure' with the other. "Done."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing." Shelly shrugged innocently and gave Lizzie her phone back. She sipped her wine calmly.

Bloop.

'Great! We'll pick you up. We'll figure out the rest of the details next week.'

###

"What if it's the blond one?" Shelly slightly slurred her words as she drained the third bottle of wine into her glass. "The drummer guy?"

"Ben Hardy?" Lizzie snorted. "You think it's going to be Ben Hardy?"

"Why not?!"

"They were castmates, Shells!" Lizzie sipped her wine. "Just because they acted in a film together doesn't mean they're bffs."

"You're clearly not following them on Instagram, then." Shelly smirked.

"Oh, and you are?" Lizzie scoffed.

"I sure am!"

"Jesus."

"No, my name is Shelly." She joked. "Whoever this bloke is, you know he's a looker if Prince Charming is hanging out with him."

"What?"

"Attractive people only hang out with other attractive people!" Shelly informed her best friend. "It's the rule of law."

"What law?" Lizzie's brows knotted in confusion.

"The law of science!"

"He's married, you know." Lizzie noted.

"Gwilym?!" Shelly gasped.

"No, you plum!" Lizzie rolled her eyes. "Ben Hardy!"

"Oh, right. To your girl-crush." Shelly sing-sang.

"She's not my girl-crush."

"She totally is." Shelly giggled. "Look at you blushing!"

###

The night of the party, Lizzie was beside herself with nerves. She wanted to impress Gwilym and make him want her as more than just a friend. Whether it was the fact that he was Annabelle Lee's cousin or the fact that he was just the perfect man, she just wanted him. His company. His touch. His attention. Fluffing up her hair at the roots, she looked down at her vanity and deliberated the perfect lipstick to match her outfit and finalize her look. Tonight was the night Gwilym will see her and fall in love. The thing she didn't know was that he already had - when he knocked her on her ass and she laid there on the grass, looking like a porcelain doll some child had dropped. With her look complete, she left her room for Shelly's input.

"How do I look?" Lizzie twirled in front of Shelly.

"Too clothed."

"It's January. I don't want to get pneumonia, alright?" Lizzie scoffed. "T'was bad enough with the flu. My class got split and -" Lizzie adjusted the cuffs of her skin-tight red sweater-dress.

"Shut up with work talk on weekends already!" Shelly put a hand up to stop Lizzie's rambles as she stepped up to her. "Ugh!" she groaned and pulled Lizzie's neckline down. "It's like you're not even trying -"

"Shells!" Lizzie gasped and jumped back. "That's so rude!"

"You have to flaunt some of the goods, missy."

"The goods were flaunted, thank you very much!"

"No, they were not. Now, however?" Shelly hiked up the skirt of Lizzie's dress. "Much better. Wear the knee-high black boots."

"I'll look like a prostitute." Lizzie scoffed.

"A high-end escort, really." Shelly countered. "If you do shag prince charming," Shelly tousled Lizzie's soft curls to give her a bedridden, disheveled look, "bring him home and be as loud and as nasty as you possibly can, please."

"Good God, woman!"

"Or just do it right on the sofa, if you want. Make a sex-tape out of it." Shelly winked and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"You're hopeless."

"I know."

###

Gwilym leaned against the car, one leg crossed in front of the other, as he waited for Lizzie. His breath clouded as he exhaled, the January winter chill seeping into his bones. A flash of red caught his eye, making him do a double-take. He gulped when he saw Lizzie and rubbed his hands together, suddenly slightly nervous. She walked up to him with a lopsided smile, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously. She had a swagger to her steps, she almost looked like she was cat-walking towards him.

"You look amazing!" Gwilym's eyes scanned over her body. "Aren't you frozen solid?"

"I am, in fact, freezing," Lizzie giggled and hoped he couldn't hear her teeth chattering. "Where's your mate?"

"He decided to stay in the car." Gwilym rolled his eyes playfully. "Americans, you know?"

Lizzie nodded and made a mental note to herself that it was not Ben Hardy in that car.

"Did you enjoy free-heeeeeeee -" Gwilym's friend seemed to have forgotten how to use words as he turned around in his seat to look at Lizzie. "Hello."

"Joe, meet Lizzie." Gwilym said as he collapsed into the driver's seat and she sat down very carefully at the back. "Lizzie, this is Joe."

"Hey, Joe."

"Hello." Joe had a dopey smile on his face. A whiff of whiskey reached Lizzie's nostrils. "Hi."

"Pre-gaming?" Lizzie snorted and made eye contact with Gwilym through the rear-view mirror. "Really?"

"He insisted." Gwilym shrugged and flicked the blinkers on. "So this party we're going to is nothing too fancy, really."

"What's the occasion?" Lizzie blushed under Joe's gaze.

"Birthday!" Joe announced. "Someone we worked with on a project not too long ago."

"Look at you, trying to be cool." Gwilym chuckled and earned a glare from Joe. "Our best mate is having a birthday. Joe is very excited."

"Benny deserves every bit of my excitement."

"B... beh..." Lizzie stuttered and gulped as she composed herself, "Benny?"

"Yeah." Joe had a dreamy look in his eyes. "His name's Ben."

"Huh." The prospect of meeting Ben Hardy and his wife so casually made Lizzie obliviously bite her bottom lip. Both men shift uncomfortably. "That sounds like fun."

###

"Silly Gwilly!!!"

Gwilym, Joe and Lizzie turned around to the source of the screeching as they walked inside the club. The music thumped and the light flickered.

"Oh my God!" Lizzie gasped and froze in her tracks. "Is that...?"

"Annabelle!" Joe finished her sentence and ran towards Annabelle with open arms.

"Move it, Joseph!" Annabelle side stepped around him and made a bee-line towards Gwilym. "I feel like I haven't seen you in years! What the fuck?!"

"Got a bit preoccupied, Banana." Gwilym picked her up and swayed with her from side to side in a tight hug. "I missed you too."

"Just because you and Clara aren't together anymore doesn't mean you have to cut all ties with me, you know." Annabelle detangled her legs from around his waist and slid down his body to the floor as if he were a fireman's pole. "She's on holiday anyways. Who's this?"

"This," Gwilym took Lizzie's hand and pulled her closer to him and his cousin, "is my new... Er... friend, Lizzie."

"Friend, huh?" Joe and Annabelle said simultaneously.

"Yep. Ran into her in the park one day, literally." Gwilym explained.

Lizzie opened and closed her mouth like a fish as she tried to conjure up a coherent sentence. Annabelle Lee-Jones was, by far, her favourite person on the entire planet. Mentally kicking herself, Lizzie extended a hand out for Annabelle to shake with an awkward giggle.

"Hi, I, um..." Lizzie struggled for words and only felt worse when Annabelle raised an amused eyebrow at her. "I don't get starstruck very often but you're just about my favourite person ever..."

"That's so sweet!" Annabelle laughed and pulled Lizzie in for a hug. "After BoRhap exploded no one even cares about me anymore. You just made my day, you know."

"Where's Ben?" Joe interrupted.

"At the table." Annabelle rolled her eyes. "Go find your husband, Joe. Lizzie, you're coming with me!"

Annabelle pulled Lizzie along by the hand and walked her over to the bar. Lizzie stumbled as she looked back at Gwilym. He waved at her with an amused smirk on his face. If she survived a night out with this crew, it will be nothing short of a miracle.

###

"Who's the redhead?" Ben asked as he stared at his wife chatting up a stranger. "Why is Annie latching onto her?"

"Gwil's friend. Lizzie." Joe said and wiggled his eyebrows.

"She really is just a friend." Gwil shrugged. "I'm not sure she's even remotely interested in me."

"Is she blind or just stupid, then?" Ben wondered.

"Neither, you rude fuck." Gwilym snorted.

"Are you into her?" Joe asked.

"I mean, she's gorgeous..." Gwilym rubbed at his chin.

"That, she is." Ben said under his breath.

"I'm telling Annie." Joe warned.

"Go ahead, I think Annie might have a crush on her. She won't mind. She'll probably let Ben watch." Gwilym chuckled and made Ben blush a crimson red.

"So, if she's just a friend..." Joe started.

Gwilym groaned and bit the inside of his cheek, knowing where Joe's train of thought was going.

"I mean, I wouldn't want to cock block my best -"

"Yes, Joe. You can hit on her." Gwilym rolled his eyes and cut him off. Lizzie wasn't his to have and it seemed like the situation won't change in the foreseeable future. "Knock yourself out."

###

Lizzie was sloshed. Blitzed. Completely and utterly hammered. Gwilym seemed to keep her at a safe distance all evening, calling her his 'friend' every other sentence. Each time made her feel slightly more devastated - something that did not go unnoticed by Annie. Coming to the rescue, Annie made sure Lizzie will forget all about her troubles and have a happy, drunk, good time at Ben's party.

Indeed, Lizzie felt like a happy haze veiled everything around her. She swayed from side to side, Joe behind her with a hand on her hip, telling her silly jokes as they danced. His breath fanned over her ear and gave her goosebumps. She hasn't hooked up with anyone in a while, and Gwilym was obviously uninterested in her and more interested in the flock of girls surrounding him and batting their eyelashes at him. A small pang of jealousy made her hurt, but then Joe gave her all of his attention and she was drunk and happy, and things rolled downhill like a snowball effect. His lips softly grazed the shell of her ear and he pulled her closer to him. Her lips parted at the sensation. Joe's warm hands roamed over her as they danced, leaving seary trails in their wake. He looked up to see Gwil waving his hand at him, trying to get his attention. When he finally did, Gwil lifted his other hand up, dangling his car keys to signal Joe that it was time to leave.

"Gwil's calling for us." Joe slurred, inclining his head down and nuzzling her cheek slightly. "Think it's time to go."

"I don't wanna..." Lizzie pouted.

"Me neither."

Lizzie turned her head and brushed her lips against Joe's, feeling a small rush of adrenaline flow through her. Throwing caution to the wind, both drunks locked lips on the dance floor in a sloppy, almost obscene kiss.

Gwilym, Ben and Annabelle watched from a distance and snorted, all at the same time. They've been watching the two carefully since Joe asked for Gwil's "permission" to hook up with Lizzie as if it were a National Geographic film.

"So you're really going to let Joe have his way with her?" Ben looked at Gwilym questioningly.

"She's not mine." Gwilym shrugged. "And from the looks of it, she doesn't want to be."

"You oblivious wanker." Annie muttered under her breath, unheard by the other two.

###

"Oh, no, no, no!" Gwilym said and grabbed Joe by the elbow as if he were a disobedient child, "you're going in the front!"

"Hey!" Joe protested and stumbled after Gwilym. "That's rude!"

"No, rude is snogging with my Lizzie in the back of my bloody car."

"Your Lizzie?" Joe raised an eyebrow.

"You know what I meant."

"Look, man, if you have any issues with this..."

"I don't have any bloody issues." Gwilym scolded. "Now, get in the car."

Both boys collapsed into their seats and looked at Lizzie through the rearview mirror, obliviously scrolling through her phone. Her face softly illuminated by the white glow of the screen. She blinked slowly, as if falling asleep.

"Where to, Miss Daisy?" Gwilym asked and smiled softly when she looked up at him through her lashes.

"Home, please." She smiled sweetly. "Is it alright if I stole Joe?"

Gwilym knew this was coming but he still felt a small pang of jealousy in his gut. He glanced over at Joe's drunk, pleading face and nodded with a sigh, starting the engine.

"Well then," Lizzie smiled mischievously, "onwards, noble steed! Take me home!"

###

"You're so fucking hot." Joe whispered in between feverish kisses. He had Lizzie pressed up against the front door to her flat, his knee parting her legs. "Goddamn."

"Let's go inside, then?" She bit her bottom lip and looked up at him expectantly.

Joe replied with a low growl. Lizzie giggled and turned around, quickly unlocking the door and stumbling in. Joe pressed himself up behind her, his hands travelling everywhere they could reach on her body. He kicked the door shut behind him and released his hold on Lizzie's body, allowing her to turn and face him. He caught her lips, nibbling and biting on them. His hands worked their way down her torso and gave her bum a hearty squeeze.

"Eager, are we?" Lizzie laughed.

"It's been awhile." Joe admitted sheepishly. "And you're so fucking hot, I..."

Lizzie crashed her lips onto his.

###

Joe woke up at the crack of dawn, feeling like a rat died in his mouth and a horse kicked him in the head. He took in his surroundings, letting the night's memories flood back in. Ben's birthday party. Picking Gwil's friend up. Lizzie. Dancing. Making out. Gwilym's mood on the ride to Lizzie's place. Making out again. Hooking up.

He turned his head to the side and took in the sight of Lizzie's naked body next to him. She wasn't curled up next to him - she was spread out in all her naked glory, her soft red curls veiling her breasts like a nymph. With a sigh, he rolled over and pawed at the floor, looking for his boxers. When he finally found them, he groggily stepped into them and pulled them up, walking towards the door. Nature called.

He rubbed his eye sleepily as he left her bedroom and closed the door behind him, and collided with another person.

The realization made him shudder. There is a strange woman looking at his almost totally naked body, and she was hot and smirking.

"And to whom do I owe the pleasure?" she drawled, her voice like honey.

"I, uh -" Joe tried to shake the embarrassment off and stood up straighter. "I'm Joe."

"Hello, Joe. I'm Shelly."

"Shelly." Joe echoed, a dopey smile on his face.

"What are you doing in my home and where are your clothes, Joe?" Shelly looked him up and down. She seemed pleased with the sight. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Well," Joe gulped, "I'm... See, last night -"

"Elizabeth McGee!" Shelly roared. "Lizzie!"

"Shhh!" Joe leaped forward and placed his palm on her lips, muffling her bellows. "What the fuck?!"

Shelly looked at him challengingly, one eyebrow raised. They stared each other down before she poked her tongue out and licked Joe's palm.

"Ew!" Joe flinched and pulled his hand back. "But also, good thinking!"

"Thank you!" Shelly bit her bottom lip. "The bathroom's that way."

"Uh, thanks." He said, confused at her abruptness. She looked down at Joe's crotch and noticed a prominent bulge. He felt heat flood his chest, all the way up to his ears. A gorgeous woman stared at his bulge and all he could do was stand there. "This isn't awkward at all."

"On the contrary, mate." Shelly winked at him. "I'm enjoying myself."

"Yeah?" A cocky smirk tugged at Joe's lips.

"Yeah." Shelly stepped closer to him and put a hand on his cheek. "Too bad Lizzie's the one who saw you first."

Her hand slipped down the column of his neck and to his chest before she dragged it across as she left and disappeared into her bedroom, closing the door behind her softly.

##########

TAGLIST: @ramibaby @filmslutt @lose-you-to-find-me @sonic-volcano  @nosferatyou @rogertaylorin1976

[wayward-marvel-sommer1196]

Spiraling - Part 2

Pairing: Jensen x Reader; Jared x BFF!Reader

Warnings: Self harm, depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, mental illness, mental disease

Word Count: 3142

A/N: This has been written for a long time just needed a little bit added to the end and some editing. I also want to say that there will be multiple parts to this so rest assured this is not the end. No beta keep that in mind. REMEMBER suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem. Please reach out if you need help.

Summary: Did Jensen get to you in time? How will things change? Will you be okay?

Masterlist - Spiraling 

"J-Jay?" you said more as a question than anything.

"Y/N, sweetheart, thank god. Where are you? Are you home?" Jensen said with concern laced in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm home. Look Jay I -"

"Y/N, please, don't say what I think you are. I got your text. I know you better than you like to think sweetheart and those words, as nice as they were, weren't you. Jared and I are on our way now we are like five minutes from the house. Please, I love you too, just hold on till I get there, okay?"

You nodded your head and sniffled. "Okay. Can you stay on the phone with me? I don't trust myself alone, Jay." The tears started to flow again.

"Of course, sweetheart. I'm right here. I'm all yours. Talk to me."

"Jay, I'm-its-I don't know what to do."

At that moment Jared looked to Jensen silently asking if he could say something, not wanting to interrupt you two.

"Hey Y/N, is it okay if Jared says something?"

You nodded.

"Look bug," Jared said using the nickname he gave you after a year of knowing you. "I know it's really hard, especially when it feels like the darkness has taken over. I know you're thinking it would be easier to stop fighting and just let your inner demons win. You know I understand what you're going through, but I need you to know that it's not you that's actually thinking that. It's your head playing tricks on you. It's the depression talking. You are stronger than that, I know you are. Jay needs you to fight Y/N you know he will be a wreck without you. Hell, I need you to fight. I need my best friend to talk things through with when I can't go to my wife and need a female opinion. I need someone to knock some sense into me like you always do when I get out of control. Jay and I both need you in our lives Y/N we love you too much to let you go. I know this isn't going to just go away but I need you to let us help you fight every day, okay?" Jared said.

You didn't know how to respond. Jared meant a lot to you but never in a million years did you think you meant that much to him especially after he met Gen.

"Bug, you still with us?" Jared asked.

You wiped your tears and took a deep breath. "Yeah, yeah Jare, I'm here. I'm so sorry guys. I'm so so sorry," you tried to apologize.

"You have nothing to apologize for sweetheart. Look we are pulling up now I'll see you in a minute," Jensen said as he hung up.

You just put your phone down and looked down at your wrist that now had a line of blood that worked its way down to your fingertips. You looked at the blood in disbelief. Were you really seconds away from killing yourself? At that thought you began to sob heavily again and that's when Jensen came through the bedroom door.

He went to the ensuite and grabbed a wet and dry rag. He came over to where you were in the bed and crouched down in front of you. He grabbed your arm and began to wipe the blood with the wet cloth as he began to speak to try and calm you down.

"Y/N, sweetheart, look at me. Please?" He pleaded, and you obliged. "There are those beautiful Y/E/C eyes. I need you to calm down okay? Take a few deep breaths or you're gonna hyperventilate okay?"

You looked into his beautiful concerned green eyes and nodded. You took a few deep breaths while Jensen grabbed the dry cloth and wrapped it around your wrist. You steadied your breathing and looked at Jensen again.

"Jay, I -"

"Sweetheart if you are going to apologize again, don't. I don't blame you for this. This isn't something you can control. I know that. Just, why didn't you tell me it was getting this bad?"

"I thought I could push it down and forget it, but that only worked for a couple days. I -"

“A couple days? You have been feeling like this for a couple days? Sweetheart, I could have helped you.”

"No, Jay you couldn't have. You were working, and I didn't want to burden you with my problems. That's one of my issues I feel like I'm failing in this relationship because I can't be as happy as you are no matter how much I want to be. I'm not as beautiful as most of the other women you have dated. I mean I would know I've met them all. You dated freaking Danneel Harris for crying out loud. She's literally a model. I can't compare to that. Not to mention I can't seem to get a job to save my life and I'm just a disappointment. I don't know why you keep me around. I'm worthless. I tried to freaking kill myself how pathetic is that? On top of that I couldn't even do that right."

"Y/N, stop!" Jensen yelled. "Jared can you come in here please? Y/N look at me right now, I'm sorry I yelled but when you say awful and untrue things about yourself like that it upsets me. For starters you are not a burden and as much as I love my job, you come before that. I would quit if I had to if it came down to picking between you and Supernatural. As far as the other women go, yeah, they were different from you, but you want to know why none of them ever worked out?"

You nodded your head urging him to continue.

"They didn't work out because they weren't you. Sure, they were beautiful, but the love wasn't there, not like it is with you. And you know what, I think you are gorgeous. I always have even when you had braces, wore glasses, and had that god-awful haircut in the sixth grade. Y/N I've been in love with you for most my life I just didn't think you would feel that way about your drama geek best friend. Ask Jared if you don't believe me. When I first met him and introduced you two he teased me relentlessly."

You looked to Jared to confirm what Jensen was saying, not that you didn't believe him, but you just wanted confirmation.

"He's not lying Y/N this guy has been smitten with you since I met him. I think about a week after I met you both I asked him if y'all were dating because that's how you acted, and he just laughed in my face. If you're questioning the love in your relationship don't because I assure you it's there. And if it means anything I also think you're gorgeous and that's coming from a married man so there's no worries that I'm lying to get in your pants or anything," Jared said trying to lighten the mood a bit which worked as a small smile graced your face.

Jared stepped away to open the blinds and then went into the ensuite.

"There's that beautiful smile I feel in love with. Sweetheart as far as the job thing goes I couldn't care less. You could remain jobless for the rest of your life and I would be just fine with that. It changes nothing. I enjoy taking care of you actually and love having you all to myself when I'm on hiatus. I don’t want to share you with a job."

Jared came back out of the ensuite with your first aid kit. He walked towards you and Jensen got up to sit next to you while Jared crouched in front of you. He pulled out some antibacterial cream and bandages. He put the cream on your wrist and wrapped the bandage around your wrist.

"Bug, you need to stop internalizing all of this. It will swallow you whole if you let it. You have to talk it out with someone. If you don't want to talk to Jensen, then you have me, or if that doesn't work you have Gen. I know I haven't known you as long as Jensen has but I have known you for the last 12 years and have claimed the best friend slot since you started dating this guy, though if we're being honest you're more like my sister. I hate seeing you this upset. I hate hearing you say those horrible things about yourself. You are not worthless Y/N, far from it in fact. You were the main person that helped me when I was having a rough time. I don't think I would have made it through without you. You help keep me and Jay in check when we start acting like children. And you are there for Gen and my kids when I can't be there and that right there is everything. Tom and Shep love their auntie Y/N and baby Odette will too. You make all of our lives, especially Jensen's, so much better. So, if you were going to fail at anything in life I'm sure as hell glad you failed at killing yourself. Even though you can reason with yourself that no one will miss you like I have Gen and Jay has me and the show or whatever, none of that will replace you. Obviously, I love Gen and my kids, but like I said you are like my sister and losing you would kill me and it would damn sure destroy him. You could forget about Dean Winchester because if you were gone Jensen wouldn't leave this house. So, you are not a disappointment, you are not worthless, you are loved, and you are needed. Don't let the darkness win when you are nothing but light."

The tears were already falling. This man was like a brother to you, more than your actual brother anyway. His words meant everything to you and since you weren't able to form words at the moment you grabbed and pulled him into the tightest hug you could muster.

After a minute you let go and kissed his cheek and whispered a thank you into his ear. He got up and excused himself into the living to give you a moment with Jensen.

You turned to your boyfriend of two years and kissed him with a vigor like never before. You let go when you needed to stop for air. You leaned your forehead against his with your arms around his neck.

"Jay, I'm a mess, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. I know this is not exactly what you signed up for when we started dating but I would very much like it if you stuck around. I need help with this. You know my family, they mean well, but they make things worse. Obviously, handling this alone isn't working, since I almost made a very permanent but stupid decision today. You wanna know the only thing that stopped me?"

Jensen nodded pushing for you to continue.

You put your hand on his cheek and said, "You. When you Face Timed me, your picture came up and looking at those green eyes changed everything. I need you Jay. I need your help with this. You and Jared are probably the only two that can help. You are the love of my life but above all you have been my best friend since forever and we have been through everything together so can you stick around for one more thing?"

"Sweetheart, that's not even a question. Of course, I'll help you. Of course, I'll be here with you. Of course, I'll support you and do whatever you need. But I won't stick around for ONE more thing. I'm going to stick around for everything. You have seen me at my worst and have scraped me of the ground and brought me back to reality I think it's my turn to return the favor. You are my best friend yes, but as the moose out there said that position has another taker. I'd much rather you be my girlfriend and maybe one day my wife."

You blushed and looked almost shocked at this confession. Jensen looked dead into your eyes as he said this with a nervous grin but a face of seriousness.

"Y/N, I have been in love with you since we were 8 years old, since before I even knew what love was. The reason all the other girls were the type they were was because I was trying to bury my feelings for you. I thought that if I chose something completely different than the awesome, fantastic, beautiful girl I was infatuated with, that it would be easier. But alas, it never was, especially since we spent like every day together and when we weren't together we would at least call. So, I guess my point is it has and will always be you. You could be some hobo on the street that's 600 lbs. with scraggly hair and wreak of garbage and I'd still pick you over someone like Danneel."

You chuckled at the thought. "Really?"

"Well, maybe I'd throw you in the shower first, but after that yeah." He took his hand and brushed the few hanging strands of hair behind your ear and just looked lovingly into your eyes.

"I'm calling Danneel and telling her that you'd pick a hobo over her," you said with a smirk.

"No, that's not what I said - wait you still talk to Danneel?”

"Yeah I mean she's cool and I mean y’all’s split was amicable. We're not like best buds or anything but we occasionally chat, and she says she's glad we finally got together."

"She always did think you and I should be something more."

"Well I guess it makes me feel better that you fell for me before I fell for you."

"What? When was it for you?"

"Well I mean, I've always loved you, but when I realized I was in love with you was when we were 13. You took Jessica Anderson under our tree and kissed her. I was so pissed. At first, I thought that it was because it was our spot and you took her there, but then when I saw you kiss her the next day at school and got the same feeling, I realized it was because I wanted to be the one you were kissing."

"Honestly, I only kissed her to try and make you jealous. I asked Josh what to do to get your attention and that was his advice. Since you didn't react I just assumed you didn't feel the same way."

"Well for one, your brother is an idiot and so are you for listening to him and two you should have known better than to go about it that way."

"Yeah, well I was 13 and stupid. What do you expect."

Just then Jared came back into the room. “Hey guys, I just got off the phone with Gen. I need to head home. Tom is refusing to take a bath apparently. Gen told me to tell you she is here if you need anything and she would like to set up a dinner for all of us next week. Is that okay with you guys?”

You got up off the bed and gave Jared a big hug. “Tell her that would great Jare. Thank you.”

“No problem, bug,” Jared said as he walked out leaving you and Jensen to be alone.

Jensen turned to you and grabbed your hands and held them. “I think we should schedule you an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow and get ahead of this while we can,” Jensen said.

“I think you’re right. Thank you for being my rock through this. I couldn’t get through it any other way,” you replied.

“No problem sweetheart, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you,” Jensen said.

“I love you too.”

Jensen grabbed you by the cheeks and looked you deeply in the eyes. “You, my love, need a shower.”

You laughed and hit him in the chest. He wasn’t wrong, but you wouldn’t admit that. When you turned around you saw the knife on the bed with the little bit of blood that you lost and your face paled. Jensen immediately noticed and grabbed your attention.

“Hey, don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of it. You just go and get yourself cleaned up.”

You nodded your head and kissed Jensen one last time before grabbing your robe and towels and heading towards the bathroom.

Once you were done and fully showered you realized you needed help rebandaging your cut. So, you put on your robe and headed back into your shared bedroom.

“Hey Jay, I was wondering if you could – “you froze when you saw what Jensen had done in the 30 minutes you were in the shower. The bed was made with fresh new sheets, there was no blood to be seen. He had fresh clean clothes laying out for you. The shades were still drawn but there were candles lit around the room and Jensen was sitting on the bed in one of the shirts he knew you loved and a pair of sweatpants.

“What do you need sweetheart?” Jensen asked.

“What’s all this?”

“I thought I’d treat you to a nice candlelit afternoon of cuddling and love.”

“I would love that.”

“What were gonna ask me when you walked out of the bathroom?”

“Uhhh, oh yeah, can you help me bandage my wrist?” you asked with a look of shame on your face.

Jensen walked over to you and pulled your chin up to look at him. “Hey don’t do that. Don’t judge yourself. You can’t help that your brain isn’t cooperating with you. Of course, I’ll help, and I’ll be damn proud at how strong you are to stop yourself.”

You started to tear up when Jensen wiped your tears from your cheeks. He grabbed your bandage materials and brought you over to the bed. He sat you down and gently wrapped your wrist being careful not to wrap it too tight.

Once he finished, he grabbed your clothes and handed them to you while he put the materials away. You got dressed and he grabbed you by the waist and kissed with a passion you didn’t think he had in him, and that’s saying a lot.

“How about we lay down and cuddle and just relax,” Jensen suggested.

You just nodded as you both got under the covers and you laid on his chest. He wrapped his arm around you and started to play with your hair as you both drifted into a nice needed slumber.

Tag List

Spiraling

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Dean/Jensen

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@waywardasfudge

[softmahito]

i want to take care of you (drake x mc)

mc: dhalia cole summary: dhalia haven’t seen drake all day so she decides to check up on him +in this super perfect world both hana and maxwell knows that dhalia is in love with drake and not the prince because they’re bffs and can tell each other anything a/n: requested by a lovely anon ((”I’d love 51 from the ‘more writing prompts’ for Drake x mc”)) this is loosely based on chapter 17 from book one ((thanks for your help @firefly-hwufanficwriter )) and when i say loosely i really mean loosely +this will probably be a little ooc but i need this Drake in my life so just bear with me pls thanks words: 1,4k+                                                                🌸 SEND ME SOME REQUESTS 🌸                                                                            ⭐ MASTERLIST ⭐

Today was one of the most tiring days for Dhalia. Not physically but mentally. She truly didn’t mind doing some manual labour. After some time she learned to quite enjoy it. But today she got stuck at yet another dinner with the royal family. And dealing with King and Queen and trying to look like she’s still interested in the Prince was more exhausting than any physical work she could think of.

But what was absolutely the worst about this whole situation was the fact that this super fancy dinner meant none of her friends was there - almost none to be completely honest - but even tho Hana was there she was sitting almost on the other side of the table so there was no way Dhalia would have a chance to talk to her. So no Hana, no Maxwell and sure as hell no Drake. And she was certain that the lack of interaction with her friends made her so tired. She could bearly stop herself from yawning in the middle of the meal.

And if that wasn’t enough when she thought she was finally free Liam’s parents for some reason insisted she’d join them on the walk. And Dhalia certainly didn’t have much to say so of course she agreed and spent another two and a half hour wandering through the garden area behind the palace. She’d probably spent even more time with them but Maxwell came to her rescue. They drank some coffee together and then she could beyond any doubt head to her room and rest for a while. She laid on her bed and after few minutes she was fast asleep.

When Dhalia woke up the clock on her bedside table was showing 10 p.m. She yawned and was ready to change into her pyjamas and go back to sleep when suddenly Drake popped up in her mind. She didn’t see him today at all. Normally he’s always somewhere near, keeping an eye on her or hanging out with Maxwell. But today there was no sign of him and Dhalia already missed his sarcastic sense of humour and snarky remarks. So she ditched the previous plan and decided to go to his room and just check how he’s doing.

“Where are we sneaking?” Maxwell appeared beside her out of nowhere.

“Oh my god Maxwell! You scared the hell out of me! Where did you even come from?” Dhalia asked with one hand on her heart. “You know what? Actually, I don’t wanna know. And we are not sneaking. I am sneaking into Drake’s room. I haven’t seen him today at all. I’m kind of worried.” She explained.

“No one told you? For real?” Maxwell looked surprised. “Drake’s ill. He spent the whole day in his room. I thought you knew.”

“As you can tell I did not know that. So if you excuse me I’ll now go and see if he needs anything. Thank you very much.”

“Sure thing. And don’t you worry if something happens I’ll cover for you.” He winked at her and started to back up. “Don’t do anything I wouldn't do!” He added smirking.

Dhalia only shook her head and headed to Drake’s room. She was really glad that both Maxwell and Hana knew that Drake and she are something more than friends. She was so scared of telling them the truth but they were really understanding and Maxwell even claimed he kind of knew that there was something between them - in what she didn’t believe at all. But it was reassuring to know that they have her back.

The not-so-good part about it was that she finally would have to tell Liam that she fell for his best friend. She already tried that once but he was too busy and there was no way they could talk in private. At first, she was angry about it but then she realised that maybe she should talk about it with Drake first so later they can both tell Liam what’s going on.

When she stood in front of the doors to Drake’s room a small smile found its way on her face. There was something about this grumpy man that never failed to make her smile. No matter how bad things might be he always brought her joy.

She knocked a few times and when was met with no response she decided to just go inside. She gently opened the door and quietly went inside. At first, she didn’t even notice Drake but when she was walking closer to the bed someone moved there and then she saw him. With a fond smile on her face, she made her way to where Drake was laying. 

His face was a little more pale than usual. His hair was all over the place and his lips were parted a little as soft snores were coming out of his mouth. Dhalia couldn’t help herself but think that he looked just adorable. And she cursed herself for not taking her phone with her.

Sleep was clearly something Drake needed right and Dhalia really didn’t want to disturb him but at the same time, she was just unable to leave. So she took one of Drake’s shirt that was hanging on the chair and as quiet as she could take off her clothes and put on the shirt. Then she laid down beside him. Almost instantly Drake’s arms pulled her closer to him as if he knew that she’s the one laying next to him. 

“Now that is a nice surprise.” He murmured in a hoarse voice placing a light kiss on her neck.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Dhalia whispered feeling a little guilty.

“Cole, you can wake me up whenever you want. But shouldn’t you be asleep as well? It’s kinda late.”

“I was going to but I haven’t seen you all day and I just wanted to see how are you and then Maxwell told me that you’re sick so I had to come in case you’d need anything.” She explained as she turned to face him. His eyes were still closed but there was this playful smile on his lips.

“Right now I have everything I need in this bed.” He whispered making Dhalia blush.

“Drake I’m serious.” She chuckled. Before Drake could say anything he turned away from Dhalia and sneezed. “Bless you.”

“You’re here so clearly I've already been blessed.” He stated and reached for a tissue but as he groaned Dhalia figured out that there weren’t any near him.

“You’re impossible when you’re sick you know?” She referred to what he said. “Stay here and I’ll bring you more and maybe some glass of water.” She added.

“You realize you don’t have to do all of this, right?”

“I do, but I want to take care of you. I care about you.” She said simply and a moment later they were cuddling in bed again. “And I missed you today. It was so tiring.”

“Maxwell told me that you had dinner with Liam and his parents. How did it go?”

“Like always. It was really boring and of full of not-so-subtle comments about how I clearly shouldn’t be here.” She rolled her eyes. “And then I spent almost three hours walking in the garden with the royal family until Maxwell came and rescued me. I hadn’t even had time to talk to Hana or Maxwell for that matter.” She sighed. “But luckily it’s over now and there’s nothing to do tomorrow so I can stay all day in bed with you.”

“You sure you want that? I will probably infect you.”

“We have a whole day to catch up on. Plus I’m not scared of flu.” Dhalia said and leaned in to kiss him on the lips.

“Well, then I’m more than happy to spend tomorrow here with you, Cole.”

[vernon-luv]

Mad Love Pt. 4

word count: 990

genre: AU (ex bff x reader), angst 

“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” He asked in a soft voice, taking my wrist again an seeing how much he hurt me. He had many rings on when he gripped my wrists. I started to bruise and even bleed a little from the sharp rings but it didn’t hurt. I didn’t even realize it until after we both settled down.

“It’s fine Vernon, it doesn’t hurt. I’ll just clean my wrists.” I said and he nodded but felt even more guilty about himself. “I’m sorry Y/N.” He hung his head low.

“It’s fine Vernon, it’s fine.” I kept repeating as I brushed his hair out of his face and caressed his cheek with my thumb.

I got up to go to the washroom and rinse off the blood. While washing my hands, I started to think deeply about what I was doing here.

Now that I stayed back, I feel even more uneasy. After seeing how crazy he was a while ago, I wanted to help him more.

“Y/N, are you okay in there?” He asked since I was taking so long.

I took a deep breath. “Yeah.” I answered before turning off the water and dried my hands.

I walked back to Vernon who was sitting on the couch and just finishing the soup I made for him.

He looked a lot calmer than earlier but I had to remind myself that he still has a mental illness.

“What did they say you have?” I asked him and he knew what I was talking about. 
“They said I have post-traumatic disorder.” He said in a low voice, avoiding eye contact.

Hearing him explain what the doctors said about his mental illness just made me feel worse.

“I don’t believe them.” He said in the end.

I sighed. “You can’t say that.”

“I’m fine, aren’t I? Do I look crazy?” 
“When you were mad you did.”

“I haven’t been taking my pills for the past month.” He admitted.

“Vernon.” How could he? He’s suppose to be better with the pills.

“Even if I have nightmares and relive those awful moments….at least I get to see you and think of you everyday since you’ve been gone.”

We both were silent. How much has he missed me? Did he really love me that much?

“It’s still bleeding. I’ll get some bandages.” He said in a sad tone as he got up and left.

He came back soon with the bandages, cream and a wet cloth. He took my hand gentle in his as he cleans up my wrists. Seeing him take care of me again, makes my heart flutter.

“Cheating on you was the worst decision I ever made Y/N.” And then my heart broke again.

“Don’t say things like that. I don’t even want to be reminded of what happened, let aloe talk about it.” I looked away from him.

“I can tell, since you ran off without even telling me where….I remind myself about how much I fucked up everyday.”

He puts on the last bandage before cleaning up. “Why’d you do it?” I asked.

“I thought…I wasn’t enough for you. I kept thinking that you just didn’t…didn’t want me as much as I wanted you. I don’t know why but some days..when I woke up next to you, I felt cold and more alone. It happened around the time I felt you hung out with the guys more than you were with me. All of a sudden, it just happened and this girl, I don’t even remember her name, we ended up…we ended up sleeping together and after that it kept repeating again and again.”

“I really did try my best to stop myself Y/N, I really did but every time I got reminded about how you looked at me, I just let everything go.”

“What do you mean the way I looked at you?You were everything to me Vernon.”

“It didn't feel like it.”

“You could’ve talked it out you know? Instead of cheat on me with some slut! I thought you were better than that.” I said disappointed in him and now getting angry.

“I know, it was low, even for me. But I promise you Y/N, ever since you left, I knew what I did was so wrong and I never once looked at girl like I look at you now. I never loved anther girl like I love you. I promise you Y/N, if I could turn back time, I would. I want to fix my mistakes. I don’t want to keep living like this.” He begged me for forgiveness.

“You don’t have to live like this Vernon, you can get over it. I promise, you’ll be a better person but I can’t forgive you and I can’t go back to you.” I told him and got up.

“Y/N, wait-“ I’ve heard it too many times. People trying to make me stay when all I want to do is leave and be alone.

“Can I please leave? Please.” I begged.

He could see how much I was hurting from everything the two of us talked about. He got up and caressed my cheek with his thumb, leaning in to place a soft kiss on my forehead.

“I’m sorry for everything.” He whispered, meaning every word he said.

I pressed my lips, trying to keep myself together. Avoiding eye contact, I turn around and walk out as quick as I could.

Closing the door behind me, I stop to think once again. My heart has been hurting so much. It felt like I left my heart with him.

I didn’t take my hand off the cold door knob, wanting to open it again and see him but I knew I shouldn’t.

I find myself holding onto him yet I know better to not.

I hate myself for still loving him