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annab-nana · 4 years ago

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Bookshelf Confessions - Peter Parker

Peter and MJ are caught in the middle between a relationship and a friendship, a situationship if you will. There are definitely some feelings between the both of them, but when she overhears Peter talking to Ned about them in the library, she pulls you in to listen in with her and the conversation takes a turn you both didn’t expect.

A/N: Hi guys! So this was a late night tiktok inspiration. Here is the video I got it from and I changed the words up a bit to better fit how Peter would talk and to better describe MJ as well but anyway, I hope you enjoy! Oh also, if you guys really want it, I could do a part 2 to this but we will see :)

Part 1 of Books Tell Secrets and Lies

Warnings: some curse words

Word Count: 3.2k+

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“Ned, I need to talk to you,” Peter whispered to the boy as he grabbed his arm and pulled him between a couple of bookshelves in the library. School had just ended, and the mop of brown curls dragged his best friend all the way to the room filled with books and resources as soon as class had been dismissed.

Though it was a library and you were supposed to be silent, the way Peter was being exceptionally quiet and almost secretive obviously caught the eye of an observant and nosy Michelle Jones. She was about to join the pair, but upon noticing that her boyfriend—if you could even call him that—seemed to try to be hiding something from her, she stopped. If Peter ever had a problem, he would round all three of you guys up to discuss it, needing all of the brilliant sound minds of his buddies to help him make a decision. So, when he was only talking to Ned without you and her included, she got a weird feeling and hung back behind the shelf next to them to eavesdrop.

You were minding your own business as you searched for a book to write your English report—which you thought was ridiculous that you already had a big assignment to complete when it was only the second week into your senior year but that was a topic for another day—and you were walking past the aisles to find where the fiction books of author’s with the last name starting with Z would be found when a hand reached out to grip your arm and tug you into a nearby aisle. You were about to protest until you saw it was only your harmless yet curious best friend. Before you could open your mouth to ask why the hell she dragged you here, her hand quickly but silently covered your mouth, prohibiting you from speaking at all. Her other hand came up to her own mouth as she placed a finger in front of her lips signaling you to be quiet. Rolling your eyes, you grabbed your phone.

Y/n: ??

She pointed towards the bookshelf and you heard the mumblings of one Peter Parker, the top of his head hard to miss when it was peering above the dusty books that lined the metal shelf.

You, MJ, Ned, and Peter made quite the friend group. Though you all were fairly different, your similarities brought you together and you loved having them by your side. What made it even better is that when MJ and Peter started their “relationship”, it didn’t mess up the dynamic at all. You all still hung out and you and Ned weren’t uncomfortable with their closeness at all, though you both did want to know if they were actually dating or not.

Since the Europe trip, they have been a lot closer. There was no denying that. You and Ned both have seen the stolen glances and holding hands under the lunch table. There was something going on there that they didn’t want to let on or they were just simply happy being together more often.

When you heard about Peter’s plan to woo MJ over the summer, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you were not a little disappointed. You were ecstatic for MJ, but your heart longed to be in her place. He had looked to you for help in making her swoon since you had been her best friend for years and while you would always help Peter no matter what, it hurt to see him in awe of another girl. Once you found out that MJ felt the same towards Peter and you knew his plan would work, you pushed those thoughts and feelings to the back of your mind, far where no one could find them. You had been a tad upset for a moment, but when you saw how happy they were, there was nothing more you could do but support them.

You still were confused as to why you both were hiding from your friends behind a bookshelf before MJ started typing furiously on her phone to text you.

MJ: peter is being hella sus and i wanna get to the bottom of it

Y/n: you little detective

MJ smirked at you as you both leaned in a little closer to hear better.

“I’ve been hanging out with MJ,” Peter started, running a hand through those beautiful chestnut curls and focusing on Ned who was smiling innocently and nodding along to the conversation. “Everybody thinks we’re dating because I spend my weekends hanging at her house and watching movies or whatever.”

“Yeah,” Ned chuckled, clueless to where the conversation was heading as were you. MJ had a deep feeling in her gut that it would lead to him telling Ned he wants to break up with her even though they were not actually together, but she wasn’t quite sure that was all he had to say.

“She’s on the decathlon team, one of the smartest people I know, and she’s could even be prom queen if she wasn’t so against it.” Both the boys lightly laughed at that as you all knew MJ too well. You had to hold back your giggle while you and MJ shared an amused look before continuing to listen in on the conversation.

“While we study chemistry, there’s a little more chemistry between us if you know what I mean,” you watched the bashful boy sputter while pink dusted his cheeks. You looked to MJ who found the floor to be much more interesting than your gaze at the moment.

‘You guys fucked? And you didn’t tell me,’ you mouthed after placing your fingers under her chin to make her look up at you. Her eyes widened and she shook her head profusely before mouthing back, ‘no, just made out a lot.’ That put your heart at ease a bit yet you still weren’t fond of it, but Peter’s next words caught the attention of you both.

“But I have a secret I must confess,” Peter sighed, eyes flitting down almost as if in shame. Your eyebrows furrowed while your puzzled expression met MJ’s worried one. Your hand reached out to grab hers and your thumb rubbed smoothly over her knuckles, a small gesture you knew provided her with much comfort and though she was trying not to show it, you knew she was getting anxious.

“It’s not her laugh or the way she’d dress. She’s not the reason I’ve been thinking about love,” he muttered with his head still down. Ned let out a light gasp at what he was hinting at and your heart broke for MJ. You tugged at her hand and tried to step forward to lead her out of the library, this conversation being one she did not need to hear, but she remained put. She gave you a sad nod as if saying ‘it’s okay y/n’, so you conceded and stayed with her for emotional support. But you knew the second she left, you would rip Peter a new one if she hadn’t done it first.

“Every weekend we hang out, I lose my cool when she’s around over stupid little things that shouldn’t even bother me,” Peter stated with a huff, angry with himself because of how he felt. If he could love MJ and not feel at war with himself and his feelings, then that is what he would do but he was growing tired of the constant battle in his head and in his heart. “And I don’t know if this is just a crush.”

So, he liked someone else for sure because that was the second time he mentioned something like that. You were growing angry with the boy and you knew that even if he possessed superhuman abilities, your rage would overpower him. Your eyes mixed with sadness and anger sought out MJ again to check on her. She was remaining closed off as always, but she had begun to open up a bit more recently and Peter’s actions were putting her back where she was.

“How do I find the words to tell her,” Peter paused, eyes darting around before meeting Ned’s, “that I’m in love with her best friend.”

You and MJ both stiffened and for some reason, you felt uncomfortable holding her hand now. You were doing it to comfort her as you always have, but you were the girl her ‘boyfriend’ was in love with. Your wide eyes remained trained on Peter and Ned as you waited for them to further confirm your suspicions.

“Y/n?” Ned gawked at his best friend. He had zero clue that Peter felt like this, but he did know you had a small crush on Peter when y’all were formulating the plan to get MJ to fall in love with him. Ned had seen the way you looked at Peter and one day, he saw the tears that brimmed your eyes before you excused yourself to the bathroom, Peter too focused on perfecting each step to see that you were distraught. Ned left as well to go ‘get something from his locker’ and he found you fanning your eyes dry and blowing some air out to calm yourself.

“You like him, don’t you?” Ned questioned as you turned around to hide your embarrassment. You were crying over Peter Parker while helping him get with your best friend. It was silly.

“Hey,” he spoke calmly as he placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. “You don’t have to hide from me. I saw the tears before you left but y/n, why are you helping him with this if you know he will end up with someone else? Doesn’t that hurt?”

“Yes, it hurts like hell but what am I supposed to do? Tell him I like him?” you spoke sarcastically but of course, he took it literally.

“Yes! That’s exactly what you should do,” he encouraged while you shook your head.

“I can’t do that to him, Ned. He is head over heels in love with MJ. Anyone with eyes can see that and though she will not let anyone know, I can tell she has a crush on him too so who am I to get in the way of that? They will be happy together and I will get over him. I will be okay, Ned,” you told him as you quickly wiped away your tears.

“Promise you’ll be okay?” Ned inquired, holding out a pinky for you to link yours with his. The childish act made you smile, and you did just that.

“I promise as long as you don’t tell him.” Ned nodded in agreement and you two unlinked pinkies. “Now I am gonna actually go to the bathroom to make sure I look fine, and I’ll be back,” you informed him before heading into the restroom.

“Yeah, Ned. I fucked up. I am going to ruin the whole group and their friendship. MJ will hate me and so will y/n for hurting MJ,” he sighed, leaning against the shelf to his right and keeping his eyes down. He felt so bad for this, but this was how he felt and he could not keep lying to MJ.

“Peter, you’re an idiot if you think they’re gonna let you ruin their friendship. They were best friends before you and they will be best friends after you too. You’re starting to sound like Flash,” Ned giggled while Peter shot him a glare, quietening him for a moment. “Sorry, but you should’ve come to this revelation back in June. Things would’ve been a lot easier.”

You had forgotten that they didn’t know you were there, and MJ was about to hear that you had been in love with her fling for a while and didn’t tell her. Again, you tried to get her to leave to spare her from hearing any more, but her feet remained planted. She was not going anywhere and if she wasn’t, you weren’t either. So, you stayed and listened beside her.

“What do you mean by that?” Peter quizzed and Ned’s eyes widened, realizing that he said too much. He let out a sigh before giving in and telling him.

“Y/n’s... kinda been in love with you since before the summer. I don’t know how much before, but she liked you when we were planning how to get MJ to fall in love with you during the Europe trip. I saw her tear up once and then I found out.”

MJ’s hand dropped from your own, her face reading shock and hurt when you looked at her. You felt like shit and you hadn’t really done anything wrong. Maybe you should have told her that you used to have a crush on Peter, but it seemed irrelevant since they were closer, and you never stood a chance so why add drama when it wasn’t needed? She took a couple of steps back before walking to leave the library, leaving you to follow.

“MJ, wait,” you called after her, but she was long gone. Tears filled your eyes as you watched your best friend storm away through the hall where you stood from the library’s entrance. You could have followed her further, but you knew MJ and you knew she’d rather be alone right now.

“Y/n...” you heard the faint voice of Peter whisper from behind you, a warm hand clasping over your shoulder as you turned to look at his freckled face. Under any other circumstances, you would’ve been thrilled to hear that Peter had liked you back, but your best friend’s heart was broken by him because of you as well and you just wanted it all to be fixed.

“You really had to tell him. I promised you I’d be okay if you didn’t tell him,” you spoke to Ned, choosing to ignore Peter’s presence in front of you for the moment.

“I’m sorry. It slipped and I couldn’t get out of it. I didn’t know you guys were right there.” He was right. It was not completely his fault. You two were invading on their privacy. You can’t help what you hear.

“Y/n,” Peter repeated, and your tear-brimmed eyes snapped to his honey brown ones.

“What?” You did not mean to come off angry, but you were aggravated to say the least.

“Are you okay?” he asked genuinely. The softness of his voice and eyes were pulling you in but you were so irritated with him at the same time.

“No,” you whispered, breaking your promise to Ned as he did to you. Peter stepped forward to hug you but your hand on his chest stopped him. “You can’t comfort me anymore. Do you realize what you have done? You have broken MJ’s heart, a heart I didn’t know was capable of breaking. If she sees us hugging, that will just drive the knife in deeper. You hurt me by dragging me into the middle of all this and because I didn’t tell her that I liked you, she probably hates me too.”

Saying that last little bit broke your heart. Your best friend probably hated you. Your crush liked you back, but you could not be with him which was more infuriating than longing for him from afar. You felt angry, upset, and exposed as your biggest secret was out. All the emotions whirled within you and you did let a few tears fall.

“Y/n, I’m sorry. This was not my intention nor how I wanted this to go at all. I’m so sorry,” he softly spoke before trying to hug you again as he desperately wanted to comfort you. He hated to see you upset. This time, you let him. You let your arms circle his waist and your head cry into his chest. You let him wrap his arms around your neck and press his lips to your head, something he had always done when trying to calm you down. You felt like you would have no friends left if you pushed Peter away so why do it? The reason why you should have spoke up and broke you two apart in an instant.

“Wow,” she muttered, saddened brown eyes dancing between you and Peter. “I came back because I wanted to talk this out before I stayed in my room and was left alone in my head, but you know what? I don’t really feel like talking anymore.”

“No! MJ, wait! Please!” you tried to stop her but her cold eyes and raised hand warned you to give it a rest.

“I’ll let you know when I’m ready to talk but until then leave me the hell alone.” And with that, her head of unruly brown crinkles and curls left the building of Midtown for the weekend.

The interaction made you feel even worse as a sob bubbled up your throat. You had never been like this with MJ, and you were scared you were going to lose her forever. Your hand flew to your mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound of you crying and Peter was quick to wrap his arms around you again, but now, you shoved him away.

“No, Peter! Can’t you see what this has done? We can’t be together. I don’t want to see you until MJ and I are on good terms and maybe not even then. I just...” you backed away towards the door, “I need to be alone. Ned, I’ll text you later.”

Ned nodded at you with a sad smile and held his pinky up toward you, his silent way of asking if you were okay similar to the promise you two had made months ago. While the action caused your lips to turn upwards only slightly, you shook your head to answer the question. He understood and he and Peter both watched you leave as well.

“Well, I guess I was wrong. You can come between their friendship,” Ned spoke up, trying to lighten the mood with a joke that was way too soon for Peter to enjoy if he ever would.

“Ned, not now. I’ve accidentally broken two girls’ hearts and they both happened to be my best friends. I feel like shit,” he groaned, rubbing a frustrated hand down his face. “I’m just gonna go on patrol to distract myself and then swing home.”

“Okay well, I’m gonna bring this to y/n and check on her before going home. I’d check on MJ too, but she scares me so I’ll just text or call her later,” Ned chuckled while holding up a copy of The Book Thief, the exact book you were hunting prior to the whole fiasco. “But you need to figure out what to do. You can’t ruin their friendship. I understand if they don’t want to be friends with us, but you can’t tear them apart.”

“I know, I know. I really fucked up,” Peter huffed while stuffing his hands into his pockets. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do but I’m going to fix this.”

“You better,” Ned stated before he left the school himself. Now all of his friends had left and were angry with him in different ways. He crushed MJ’s heart and then he crushed yours even more by unintentionally making your best friend hate you. Ned was more disappointed than angry, and he felt bad himself for spilling your secret. This whole thing was a huge mess that Peter had to fix to bring his favorite people back together and he was beginning to wish he had just kept his mouth shut in the first place.

Part 2: A Chemical Aquaintance ->

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dimeforhispocket · 5 years ago

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As if it’s Our Last (Part 2/2)

Nafla x fem!reader

Rating: Mature

Genre: some angst but a ton of fluff

Word count: 12k

Summary: or maybe you have a lifetime of opportunities

Notes: situationship, implied sexual content, you can also read on my AO3

You hold up a sign when you wait for him to come out into the arrivals hall at the airport. When he comes out and sees it, he bursts into laughter as he approaches you with his arms out for a hug.

“Where did you get a picture like that?” He asks as you hug him back gently.

“I commissioned an artist to make it. Here you are, sir.” You hand him the cardstock picture of a baby husky popping out of a Coca Cola can and take hold of his small rolling suitcase. “Let’s go.”

“Thank you.” He chuckles, following right beside you towards the airport parking lot where your car is.

Conversation flows freely between you two as you put his belongings in the trunk and have him join you in the passenger’s seat. “Here, I got you a prepaid SIM card that you can use while you’re here.” You fish out the card from you bag.

“Say what. Oh wow, thank you.” He takes it gratefully and gets to work on switching out the SIM cards in his phone while you back out of your spot and drive towards the exit. You confirm with him the name of the hotel before you make your turn onto the right lane and start towards your destination.

“Wow, you really came prepared with everything. Thank you.” He says as he leans back in his seat, looking out of the windows to take in the sights of the city passing by.

“Of course! If I’m gonna be your guide, then I sure as hell am gonna be the best.” You scoff, “I got a lot of stuff for you to see, but we can take it as slow as you like. You must be tired after your flight.”

“A little bit, but I’m all good now that I’ve seen you.” He smiles.

“Smooth talker.” You chuff before you both laugh and update each other on the recent happenings in your lives as you drive to the hotel. And although your eyes are on the road the majority of the time, you can’t help a few quick glances over at him.

He’s as cute as the last time you saw him. His hair is a lot more faded out now after having gone through a couple new styles and looks since the last time you saw him, and his skin is a little fairer after the winter, but overall you don’t notice any stark differences. He’s still as awe striking as he was to you before. It’s still unbelievable that you went to personally pick up Nafla at the airport.

You hope that he’s impressed with or at least enjoying the small effort you put into your look today. It’s nothing fancy, since you didn’t want to stand out too much, but you did doll up your hair and face a little differently. And maybe this is a new shirt, but that’s it. You still have a casual-day-out look about you.

Once you arrive at the hotel, you accept the offer for the valet service even though you don’t usually. It’s just a little more hassle than it’s worth to park on your own and find your way back up to the lobby when you’re taking a celebrity around. You join him at the front desk and Nafla takes care of most of the check-in process, so you just drag his suitcase along when you receives his key card.

“Oh wow, it’s nice.” You whistle when he opens up the door to his room on the 20th floor. It’s a little more spacious than the average room, and has a luxurious bathroom area. The view isn’t too shabby either.

You take your time scoping the place while Nafla gets his stuff together. He offers you a drink but you decline and just take a seat on the loveseat by the window. “So you’re here for like, three days, right?”

“Yeah, flying out around noon after the third night, so I gotta get to the airport in the morning.” He replies, putting all his essentials in his small over-the-shoulder fanny pack — hype beast brand, of course. “But until then, let’s go and make the most of it.”

He’s standing all packed, ready to go out on the town. He didn’t bother changing, but he did put a cap on, which you think always looks cute on him. “You sure you don’t need to rest a bit or anything?” You offer as a last chance.

“Nah, fuck sleep. Let’s go.” He nods towards the door, and you follow his lead. You were hoping he’d say that.

After getting a light lunch at a nearby chain restaurant that you happen to love, you take him towards the city center for the biggest tourist attractions first. You act as his photographer and take the coolest pictures of him, and even pose in a few silly photos yourself. It’s weird to think that Nafla is taking pictures with you to keep in his phone instead of the other way around. Though you do do the same.

Once the late afternoon settles in, however, you bring him to your favorite place for a long walk — the bay park. “It starts around where the bridge is, but stretches out across the rest of the city, so it’s a popular place for a lot of people to just jog or ride their bikes. Kind of like the Han River, in a way.” You explain.

“Wow, it’s incredible.” He takes a breath when he sees the view and takes in the cool afternoon breeze. “How is this not more famous in tourist sites and books?”

“Leave it alone, we locals gotta have a spot to ourselves.” You wave him off but lead him towards the walking path right by the water. “You okay with walking for a bit?”

“For sure.” He agrees.

The conversation begins to slow between you as Nafla continues looking out into the bay and the view of the city while you just reminisce in the fact that you’re taking a sunset stroll with your celebrity K-hip hop crush. But after a couple minutes of relaxed silence, you decide to take it a step further.

“Wanna listen to some music with me?” You pull out your Bluetooth earphones.

“Yeah, sure.” He smiles, taking one of the wireless earphones from you and sticking it in his ear. You try to stay calm about it as you pull out your phone to look through your playlists.

“I’m about to bare my soul to you.” You confess, picking your go-to playlist for a long walk. “But feel free to ask me to skip.”

“Sounds good.”

“And we can switch to yours on the way back.” You offer, chuckling giddily at the idea of being able to listen to what Nafla has in his own music library.

You start with a familiar, upbeat Korean song and leave it on shuffle for the time being, letting your pace match the beat as you continue along the bay path. And honestly, this makes the whole experience a lot more pleasant — as music usually does. Nafla nods and bounces along beside you as you continue walking and you share glances and smiles with each other every so often.

But it’s only a couple minutes into the walk when a new song pops up and you can feel your arms twitching, itching to do a wave or some sort of dance move. In truth, a lot of the time that you come here to walk, you come in search of inspiration for a new set of choreography to a new song you want to do for a class. Or sometimes, you just want to take a moment to stand off to the side of the park and dance to the music in your earphones without a care as to who’s watching in the area.

It’s hard to hold off on those impulses with Nafla here, but you don’t want to get too crazy when it’s only his first day here. As well as his first time seeing you again after several months. But you suppose you can’t hide it even if you try, because Nafla suddenly asks, “You look like you really want to dance right now.”

You turn as see that he has what must be an amused, but can pass as a forgiving smile on his face. So you relent and sigh, “Yes… I really love this song.”

“Okay, show me what you’re feeling.” He encourages you.

“You sure? You’re not gonna get embarrassed and run off?” You laugh.

“I didn’t say that.”

You hit his arm lightly with a little pout, and he quickly follows up to say that he was kidding, and that it is completely okay if you want to dance. “Well, thanks.” You say, “Hope you don’t regret it.”

You let this song pass and end before you start bouncing along more visibly to the next one. Thank goodness he asked, because you don’t know if you would’ve been able to hold back for this one. You’re already lip syncing along to the words and sweeping your arms out in front of you to dramatize the song, and Nafla is happily laughing at you.

But when you pull up a few steps ahead to start spinning and adding some footwork, that’s when he pulls out the camera. You protest at first, but he keeps finding a way to record you anyway when you start dancing again, so you just come to terms with the reality that Nafla will have some embarrassing videos of you in his possession.

At some point, you actually pull him aside to one of the balcony areas of the path and ask him to help play the song while recording you with your phone. “I’ll use it as a point of reference when I’m putting the choreo together later.”

Admittedly, you feel less silly when you have Nafla there with you recording and looking like he’s supporting you than when you’re out here on your own. He seems to find you entertaining too, so at least you manage to keep the mood light. “You’re a riot.” He chuckles when you announce that it’s time to turn around and head back to the car.

“Let’s listen to your music now. I don’t want to be the only one jamming out here.” You suggest.

So Nafla connects his phone to your earphones this time and pulls up a playlist of his own. As expected, it’s a bunch of hip hop songs, though they don’t really seem to have a uniform theme about them. You recognize at least half of the ones that play, but a lot of them, you haven’t heard before. It’s interesting to get to know his music taste. To know that this is what Nafla listens to on the regular, that this is what helped inspire him to pursue the career he has now.

Despite not knowing some songs, you still bounce along to some of them, and even ask him to send you the names of one or two that you’d like to listen to on your own in the future. But most of the walk continues without too much conversation between you on the way back, just the nice breeze and the great view.

Until you’re caught by surprise when Nafla slips his hand into yours. You had been staring out into the bay as usual when you felt his soft, but firm hand take a gentle hold of yours. Of course you snap your head around to look at him, then down at your hands, then at him again with that adorable innocent look on his face. When he offers you nothing but a small smile, you crumble and just smile back before turning back to face the water.

Mostly to hide the actual gigantic smile piercing across your cheeks because Nafla!!!! Is holding!! Your!!! Hand!!!!!! Like you’re a couple or something!!! It’s so freaking cute, you want to scream, but you’re somehow afraid that it might actually travel across the oceans back to South Korea where his main fan base will find you.

You take a quick peek around to see if any of the other bystanders are staring at you, or if anyone might recognize Nafla (which they haven’t so far, luckily for you), but you just let it be and allow yourself the euphoria of holding your favorite rapper’s hand while you daydream about him as your boyfriend.

There’s a buzz in your heart for the rest of the evening when you take him out for dinner at one of your favorite local restaurants and then to a nice bar that you’ve been to once before. You both talk casually and amiably and give off no more displays that may hint that you two are more than friends, and the entire evening remains pleasant even so.

By the time you bring him back to his hotel, it’s almost midnight. You’re about to drop him off at the front and drive home, but he stops you, “Come spend the night.”

“What?”

“Come on, I don’t want you to go yet.” He rubs his hand persuasively on top of yours that’s on the gear shift, “Stay the night with me.”

“I- I have a class tomorrow morning.” You point out, though really, all you want is to stay with Nafla for the whole night, “I was just gonna come back and meet you for lunch or something.”

“You can still make it.” His hand is rubbing on your forearm now, and moving up to rest on your shoulder. He moves in close to your ear to whisper, “I’ll try not to keep you up too late.”

You close your eyes and try to disguise your shudder with an exasperated sigh before putting the car back in drive, “Fine.”

When you’re back in Nafla’s room after leaving your car in the hotel garage, he requests to shower first, so you agree and use the time while he’s in there to try and settle your nerves.

By texting your group chat with your closest friends, ‘I’M STAYING WITH HIM TONIGHT LASDJFOAIEW’

You type out as many details as you can in the conversation with all the excited replies that pop up until Nafla appears back in the room, freshly cleaned in some simple pajamas. “You can shower now if you want.”

“Okay,” you say, sending a last update and promise of more details later before putting your phone on do not disturb mode.

“Here, you can wear this for tonight.” He offers you a t-shirt, which you gratefully accept before heading into the bathroom.

You stare at yourself in the mirror as you silently freak out and mouth to yourself all kinds of things while you’re hidden away from Nafla. You cannot believe you’re going to spend the night in his hotel room, wearing his shirt, doing… who knows what with him. As you wash off in the luxurious, marble-tiled shower, your mind wanders back to the glorious, pleasure-hazed memories of how you spent your last night with him. You don’t want to hold any expectations based on what happened before, but your body is thrumming in anticipation for what could happen next.

When you reappear into the bedroom with absolutely nothing on except his shirt — you washed your underwear in the shower and you’re letting it dry so you can wear it tomorrow morning — you come to find that Nafla is tucked in to the waist in the duvet on the bed, watching a movie on the TV. He turns to you with a smile and pats the other side of the bed, beckoning you to join him.

You settle yourself into the bed carefully, making sure the hem of the shirt still covers the top of your thighs even when you slide onto the mattress. “Endgame?” You try to identify the movie he’s watching.

“Infinity War.”

And so begins a whole discussion of the Marvel series, which expands into other movie genres and topics until Nafla interrupts to bring your attention to the scene playing. And soon, you’re both too drawn into the plot of the film to talk anymore.

At one point, however, he does take a moment to murmur to you, “C’mere,” to press you close to his side and put his arm around your shoulders. Your heart flips at the proximity and intimacy of the position, with the both of you rested against the pillows, every inch of your sides touching from torso to leg, and your head that could easily lay on his shoulder. It’s a wonder if he can’t feel your heart beating in your chest.

Eventually, you do get a little tired of holding your head up to watch the movie when there’s a perfectly viable headrest available to you that would allow you to continue watching just fine, so you give in and tuck your head into the crook of Nafla’s neck for the remainder of the movie. He’s incredibly warm, and buff, from what you can tell. Maybe even more so than the last time you were with him.

The movie continues on, and you sink into the absolute perfection of this moment. You’re cuddled up against Nicholas Choi, wearing his shirt in his room, after he flew into your city and asked you to stay the night with him. You don’t want to dare to ask, but could there really be anything better than this?

You suppose there can, when Nafla turns his attention over to you and finds tears coming down your face as the end credits begin rolling. “Aw, are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You croak, sniffling as you wipe at the tears, “It’s just… his voice at the end. It’s heartbreaking.”

“Yeah, it is.” Nafla swipes his thumb across your cheek at a tear you might’ve missed, and looks at your face so intensely that you start to wonder if you did something wrong.

But as he stares longer, and starts stroking some of your hair back from your face, you begin to pick up on the shift in the mood. You wait for him to make the first move though, just staring back at him with a vulnerable look in your eyes until he leans in to kiss you.

Wow, it’s amazing. As amazing as it was the first time. And the second, and third, and all the times after that. He adjusts you to have you lie down more flatly on your back so he can plant a hand on the other side of your head to kiss you more deeply. Your idle hands slide up his chest and come up to cup his face. It feels a little more intimate that he may be going for, but you can’t help it. You just feel so warm and soft and close to him right now, you need to hold him.

Needless to say, you didn’t need the shirt after all throughout the rest of the evening. And Nafla didn’t manage to keep his word about trying not to keep you up too late.

“You were so incredible.”

“Thanks, I do my best.”

Nafla is waiting for you to pack up your stuff in the gym dance studio after your morning hip hop class. He decided to join in since it was a drop in class anyway, and you were nervous, but happy to have him. The class was small, as it usually is on Saturday mornings, but luckily they all had plenty of energy. And Nafla was able to follow along just fine about ten minutes into it.

“I’m impressed you’re still capable of teaching a class. Thought I might’ve worn you out this morning.” He teases.

“Shut up, it wasn’t all that.” You roll your eyes.

After a long, tender, late-night romp that lasted until about 3AM, you both managed to fall asleep for a couple of hours before Nafla woke you with his wood poking your back. And well, since he was a light sleeper, he easily woke up when you simply groaned and stretched against his hold on your waist. But even with morning breath and the exhaustion of a day out and night in, he still kissed you and initiated a round of lazy morning sex.

Which was absolutely euphoric, so you claiming that it ‘wasn’t all that’ is just a bit, fat lie. And Nafla knows that, but he lets you have it as you lead the way back to your car so you two can go grab some lunch.

“So what’s on the itinerary for the rest of today?” He asks as he digs in.

“Well, actually I have some work to do on my laptop for a bit, so I was hoping we could chill at a cafe for a bit this afternoon?” You give him an innocent, but pleading look.

“Sure, we can do that.” He agrees.

“Great! Thank you, it’s just that I really want to get it out of the way so that I won’t be thinking about it for the rest of the weekend.” You explain, “But I’ll take you to my absolute favorite cafe in the city. It might not be that impressive compared to the ones in Korea, but I really love it.”

Nafla seems to find it not too shabby either when you bring him in and order your drinks. You sent him off to find a table while you paid, since you’ve been paying for a lot of the meals during your outings. “It’s the least I can do,” you keep telling him that a few meals and drinks are nothing compared to how priceless the experiences you’ve had with him have been.

He chose a booth near the back, where it’s quieter and slightly more isolated from the rest of the cafe patrons. He took the seat that’s facing the rest of the cafe, so you sit in the booth chair across from him and set up your laptop, “They’ll bring the drinks here.”

“Cool.” He says, pulling out his phone and tapping around on it. You’ve just started in on your work emails when the drinks arrive, and you leave Nafla to take his photos and send his texts and everything else while you work your way through your tasks.

About half an hour in, and half a drink consumed, Nafla silently moves out of his side of the booth to join you on yours. “Can I sit here?” He asks.

“You already are.” You snort, letting him lean against your side and wrap his arms around your waist as you continue to read through and make notes on the documents you’re going through. Nafla just rests his chin on your shoulder and watches as you continue to work, and you suddenly feel tingly and warm at the intimacy.

Practically speaking, if you wanted to fully focus on your task to get it done faster, you’d ask Nafla to let go and give you some space, because his touch and scent are sending your thoughts all over the place. But you like it so much, so you leave it alone and settle for taking twice as long to read and reread through some sections of the documents.

Nafla goes back and forth between playfully rubbing patterns in your body and looking through his phone, but he stays close to you no matter the task. At some point, he actually starts kissing at your jaw and neck, claiming that he isn’t looking for attention when you question him. But by the time you somehow manage to get through your list of tasks, Nafla has given you two fresh new hickeys.

“Oh my gosh, I cannot believe you,” You smack his thigh when you pull up your laptop webcam to inspect the red spots on your collarbone and the side of your neck.

“Hey, they’re not any worse than the ones you gave me.” He points out, pulling down the collar of his hoodie to reveal the several purple bruises you had left there last night. You had refrained from the love bites that first night back in Seoul, but somewhere in the conversation, he said that it was okay to leave whatever marks you wanted here. Guess he doesn’t see any harm in it since he’s in a country where he isn’t as easily recognized.

“At least yours can be hidden easily,” you retort, rubbing at what will likely be a very visible mark on the side of your neck tomorrow. You turn to him with narrowed eyes, “Maybe I shouldn’t have been so nice.”

“Oh yeah? Gonna get your revenge?” He chuckles, like he’s challenging you.

Instead of answering, you pull him closer by the front of his hoodie and kiss right in the center of his throat, where his adam’s apple is. You can feel him swallow against your lips, even though he’s chuckling casually above you. Slowly, you continue your trail of kisses, higher and higher until you reach the edge of his jaw right underneath his ear.

You wait a beat and breathe against his skin, to which he responds by gripping you tighter in his hold. His anticipation makes your heart jump in excitement and giddiness, so you put your lips right there on his jaw. And you kiss on him a few times before parting your lips to lock around that small patch of skin, sucking and occasionally licking until you know there’ll be a dark purple bruise forming in a few hours.

When you let go, and kiss back down his neck, you hear and feel him shiver against you, and your ego just blows up a few sizes. Dragging your nose up from his adam’s apple to his chin, you lean back to get a good look at his face. And you are absolutely gone seeing that breathless, needy look in his eyes.

You smile in something of a victory, and he shuts you up by pushing his lips back into yours and pulling you closer by the waist until you’re almost on his lap. God, is it possible to get high or drunk off of another person’s scent like this? Does he realize what he’s doing to you? You’ve melted into his hands and against that soft, talented mouth of his. If he can kiss and touch like this, it’s no wonder his music feels so authentic when you hear it.

When Nafla moans into your mouth, however, that’s when you have to bring things to a pause, “Mm, Nick. Nick, wait.” You pant, stopping his hands from coming any higher up your torso, “No more, not here.”

He heaves a dramatic sigh, but willingly agrees. He leaves a peck on your nose before moving back to his own side of the booth. You check yourself in the webcam once more and adjust your somewhat disheveled appearance before shutting down your computer and putting all your materials away. “I have a fun place in mind next.” You announce.

Nafla’s eyes turn everywhere as he takes in all of the flashing lights of all the arcade games, and the adult fun house area in the center of the facility. There’s an area for rocking climbing and a tightrope course and even a trampoline and ball pit. Basically everything fit for the inner child that still lives within the adult body. “This is so cool.”

“Yeah, and look at this.” You lead him by the hand over to the Dance Dance Revolution area, where there are a handful of people gathered to watch the college kids who frequent the arcade play the game.

Nafla watches as they select a hit pop song and follow all the dance steps with the most stylish flair to their movements. It looks like they’re actually performing the choreographed dance rather than playing a virtual game. The only thing that gives it away is the fact that their eyes remain glued to the screen in front of them, watching the arrows carefully as they rapidly climb to signal the next move.

“That’s fucking crazy! They must practice a lot.” He comments, awestruck by the dancers.

“Yeah, they’re here every time I stop by this area. They might actually be part of a dance club at school or have their own crew.” You explain.

“Whoa…” he trails off as he continues to watch. And after several more songs, Nafla turns back to you, “Do you ever play?”

“Me?” You laugh, “Yeah, I used to. Sometimes. I’m nowhere near this level though.”

“I dare you to do it.” He challenges.

“Oh, you dare me?” You challenge back, “Then I dare you to join me.”

So that’s how you end up on another DDR machine in the arcade, dancing against Nafla to different hip hop and K-pop songs you found in the catalogue. He’s not that great, but he does make it to C-class scores. Not that you’re much better than him at B-class. You got all the moves, but your rhythm was more awkward than you remember. It’s been a while since you’ve danced to a game.

Not that it matters, because you and Nafla are just laughing for the rest of the afternoon as you bulldoze through the games in the arcade, winning tickets and getting prizes. You even get a slot to jump around in the trampoline and ball pit area with him.

He looks like he’s having the time of his life, and you’re so glad that you’re able to see that smile on his face. You feel honored to be able to bring him to such a place to give him that kind of happiness. And by the time you’ve both had dinner and drinks, you decide to just spend the rest of the night in.

“You sure you don’t want to visit the local club? Because I don’t know if you’ll be able to get up for your flight on Monday if you go tomorrow.” You ask as you pull out your pajamas from your bag. You had made a stop back at your house this morning before your gym class to change and get some spare clothes since Nafla insisted on having you stay with him for his remaining nights here.

“It’s cool. Besides, why would I need to go to the club when I would just dance with you anyway?” He comes up from behind you and wraps you in a hug before giving you a tender kiss.

“Oh? So even with all the pretty girls in a different country, you’d still pick me?” You say it teasingly, but you kind of want to take it back once you say it. It sounds more presumptuous than you meant for it to come out.

Nafla is silent for a moment, which makes it even harder on your nerves and pounding heart, because the last thing you want is to make things awkward by having The Talk. You’re not sure if either of you are ready to put a label on what you have right now, and you’re not sure you’d like the answer that comes out of the discussion either.

But he takes it easy on you and answers you in that throaty, moody voice, “Of course.”

And that’s all you need for tonight.

Nafla’s last day in town is filled with tour bus rides, short hikes, shopping, bar hopping, and all kinds of food. And like the previous night, he chooses to stay in for his last night with you. You crack open some beers in his room, sing and dance around the room with water bottle mics, you hand-feed him some snacks while you’re both naked in bed watching a movie, take a bath together, give each other massages, and have endless bouts of sex.

It’s almost as if neither of you want the night to end, so you just do as much as you can to avoid going to sleep. But morning does eventually come, and Nafla has to shower and pack up his belongings.

While you lie there as he packs, you can’t get out of your own head, wondering if you should talk to him about… what you two are. Are you even anything? You would like to think so. The guy flew all the way out to your city to see you, didn’t announce his travel plans to anyone publicly, and he’s been acting like your boyfriend since he touched down here.

At the same time, all of that could just be because this is more of a getaway to him. He can’t have the comfort of anonymity in Korea, he can’t hold hands on a peaceful walk in public or make out with someone in a cafe or go around without worrying about being bombarded by fans. So maybe this was his chance to escape all of that and have a temporary girlfriend.

Maybe that’s what he likes about you. The fact that you’re temporary, and that you don’t bring it up. From the beginning, you’ve always been ready to say goodbye. From the first night at the club, to the second night at the party, and even now, you haven’t brought up anything about seeing him again after this. Maybe he likes the fact that you have no strings attached, and that you make things so easy for him. All the fun without any of the commitment.

Which you can understand, coming from his position as a famous rapper. It’s hard for him to enjoy moments like this now that he’s shot up to fame. Can you blame him for wanting a taste of it in the midst of all his success?

No, but you still have yourself to think about. You don’t know if you can go on wondering what you’ll have between you for the next months to come. Is there even anything possible for the two of you? There’s potential, for sure, but the practicality of it all makes it hard.

And first and foremost, does he even want anything more with you? For all you know, this could just be a fun fling for him and he may never contact you again after this. If you suddenly ask the ‘what are we?’ question, you might end up feeling humiliated for even thinking that you had some sort of chance to be with someone in his realm of fame. So should you even bring it up at all? Or should you just let it sit in your mind until after he leaves and deal with whatever will come later?

Would that be the easier option? To just opt out of the awkward conversation and keep the good memories of his visit in the case that he ends up not speaking to you ever again? You would end up as a hot fling legacy in his past, but you’d be a good memory, you assume. And it would be consistent with what you’ve expected from him since you first met; no expectations and no complications. If he wants to keep reaching out, then he can.

But then what if he does keep reaching out? What if this keeps happening? Are you just going to be his holiday fling forever? Does that make you seem easy? Or less of a person? That’s the last thing you want, as much as you like Nafla and want to continue getting to know him. But if this isn’t ever going to build into something feasible, then wouldn’t you just be reserving too much of your time waiting for him to get back to you?

You would love to see him again, but if you ask this question, it could very much end up jeopardizing the relationship you have in the future. Is it worth it? Is any of this going to be worth it?

“What are you thinking about?” Your heart jolts, but you manage to at least keep the shock within your body when Nafla pulls up behind you with a light hug.

Now’s your chance.

“Just… can’t believe the weekend passed by so quickly.”

“Yeah, I know right. It’s crazy.” Nafla agrees with a soft, tender voice.

Chicken, you cringe at your inner cowardice. Because you know it’s true. You’re too scared to risk it, especially when it’s just such a rare opportunity to still be in contact with Nafla when you could’ve easily been left as a one-night stand. Yet, you feel kind of relieved that you’ve decided to hold your tongue for the moment.

The atmosphere between you is still light and sweet as you go with Nafla to check out and drive him to the airport. He summarizes some of his favorite parts of the trip, several of which allude to your reactions when he pleasured you in the evenings. You act offended, but you laugh along and quip back with your own observations of his quirks.

You can’t believe you know these things about him. To think, you’ve gotten to know Nafla at a deeper level than the average person. Clearly, you’re still leagues away from being someone within his circle, but you’re still in awe of how lucky you’ve been to be able to spend this much time with your favorite rapper.

Flight check-in is smooth, and you’re especially relieved that there haven’t been any big incidents up until this point. It’s a wonder that not a single person has come up to him or done a double take to try and get a better look at him to confirm that he is indeed Nafla. Though to his credit, he’s wearing a hat and a mask at the airport right now, so that helps a little bit.

He still has over an hour to get to his gate, so you’re wondering how you should address this farewell. You’re still talking casually as you approach the area for TSA checks, which is where you’ll have to part. So when you actually do make a stop there, you turn to face him and say, “It’s been such a pleasure having you here. I’m so honored that I was able to spend time with you and act as your guide. That you decided to come here for a vacation in the first place.”

“The pleasure’s all mine. I had the best time, thanks to you.” He smiles at you, opening his arms for a hug, “I almost wish it wouldn’t have to end.”

“You’re telling me.” You laugh over his shoulder as you hug him tight, wanting to relish every last minute that you get to feel Nafla’s body against yours.

Then he tackles you with a surprise whisper, “I don’t want to say goodbye just yet.”

You pull away with a sympathetic pout in your lip, “I can keep you company for a little bit longer before you have to leave.”

He takes your hand, and you can see his smile in his eyes even behind the mask, “Good. I was hoping you’d say that.”

On your way back to the car after finally sending him off, you pull up your phone to message the group chat.

‘I literally just had goodbye sex in an airport bathroom’

The replies come immediately.

‘WHEN DID U BECOME SUCH A CLICHE’

‘Aaahhh!!!!!!’

‘YOU DID WHAT’

‘GET IT GIRL’

He ends up posting a photo set on Instagram of his trip. The only hint that he was with you (or any person at all) is his caption at the end of the post, where he gives photo credit to a wolf emoji. Which is what you’re guessing is the closest thing he could find to a husky, so you like the photo and ignore all the comments about when he was in the country, or the upset from fans that missed him because they know the spots in the photos that he visited, and the handful of questions about a dog taking the photos for him.

Nafla had texted you for a bit after landing back in Seoul, but eventually things picked up again and he got busy. You’re okay with the distance because you just spent several days with him and only him, and you have plenty of memories to daydream and reminisce about when you’re bored. The goodbye you two shared was rather dramatic since he had fucked you in a handicap stall in the men’s room before taking his flight, but it was seamless. You felt like you got closure and capped it off perfectly without any more expectations for the future.

So you’re doing a lot better than you were worried about now that he’s back in Korea. Work still keeps you busy, and your friends let you gush about him every time you meet up. And in the aftermath, you’ve actually gotten addicted to quite a number of songs that you felt really narrated your shotgun romance with Nafla, and developed some new choreography to them to illustrate the experience.

In fact, you even have another fling with someone you meet at the club on a night out with your friends. It wasn’t your best one, obviously, not after you went through such a whirlwind of great sex with Nick, but it was still liberating in a way. You were starting to move on with your life without him constantly on your mind.

So leave it to him to abruptly stop that good flow with a surprise video call several minutes before your morning alarm is about to go off.

At first, you’re confused and wondering if you’re dreaming or misreading the name on your phone, because Nafla has never video called you before. In fact, he hasn’t even voice called you before, so this is really coming out of nowhere, especially after several weeks of no contact since he left your city. But who knows? It could be an emergency, so you decide to pick up.

“Hello?” You groan through your morning voice and try to pry your eyes open wider than a squint. The sunrise is harsher than usual from through the window.

“Hey, uh…” He hesitates. But wow, you did not realize that just hearing his voice again would do this to you in the morning. “Did I wake you?”

“What do you think?” You answer cheekily, rolling around and sighing as you look for the strength to lift your phone up to see his face and let him see yours.

“Oh, sorry. What time is it over there?”

You look up at the time at the top of your phone screen and relay the information, “Just before 6:30. You jerk.” You add in a playful murmur.

He laughs and apologizes again, and that’s when you hear chuckles and chatter in the background. “Who are you with right now?”

“Just some of the guys, I think you might remember them.” He maneuvers the camera around to reveal Bloo, Loopy, and Owen beside him. They all wave and shout hello to you, to which you chuckle and say hi back.

“So, like…” Nafla starts, looking somewhat nervous, “We were just talking a bit, and the topic of my vacation last time when I visited you came up. So yeah, I just wanted to see your face again.” He finishes awkwardly, “And show it to these guys.”

“Hello~” Some of them wave again.

“So you decided to call me before seven in the morning, and expose my crusty ass face to all your friends?” You say, rolling over to your stomach and propping yourself up on your elbows before holding up your phone properly again.

“No, that’s the thing! I was actually telling them how you’re still really pretty without makeup on or anything.” He defends.

“Yeah, we were talking about how Meg and some other girls we work with all look so different without their makeup on. And then Nick here was all like, ‘nah she’s way prettier when she doesn’t have it on, blah blah blah’ and we were like ‘prove it’ so he just called you.” Bloo goes on to explain. You can’t tell if he’s already had a couple drinks today or if that’s just how he normally talks, but he’s got a happy slur about him.

But you do pick up on the detail that Nick was talking about you and calling you pretty, which makes your heart leap far too high for the morning.

“What is this, a college frat dare?” You scoff, tossing your hair out of the way and checking your face in the video camera for any dried up fluids in the corner of your eyes or nose.

“Oh my god, it feels like it. These guys wouldn’t stop bothering me about it, so that’s why I just called you. Sorry again, for waking you to deal with this bullshit.” Nafla says.

“He was right though, you’re still very pretty with a bare face.” Loopy decides to interject, and Bloo comes in with a few agreeable comments.

“Thanks, I guess.” You roll your eyes but offer a sleepy smile anyway. That’s when your phone alarm goes off, so you switch it off and sigh as you slowly slide out of your bed.

“You gotta get ready?” Nafla asks.

“Yeah,” you sigh, “A regular work day.”

“Oh okay, well maybe I’ll talk to you later?” He offers, though he sounds slightly disappointed. And that small shift in the tone of his voice is what snatches at your heart and makes you ache not to say goodbye.

“No, it’s okay. It’s been a while, so I can talk for a bit.” You say as you set your phone on the bathroom counter, “If you actually want to talk, that is.”

“Yeah, yeah! For sure.” He says, “We got a little time too, and I was wondering how you’ve been doing anyway.”

You don’t have the energy to warn them that you’re taking a leak, so when they hear the flush and there’s laughter in the background, you can understand the humor, you suppose. “Wait, did you just go to the bathroom while on the call with him?” Bloo asks, laughing.

“Yeah! A girl’s gotta pee.” You argue, washing your hands and grabbing for your toothbrush. “You go first though, since I gotta brush. What’s been going on with you?”

You talk throughout your entire morning routine, and most of the other guys eventually leave Nafla alone to chat with you. Though they occasionally do pass by again and ask a question or make a comment about something. As you talk with him over your breakfast and putting on your makeup, you get kind of caught up in the excitement and comfort of talking to him again.

It’s only when you’re about to start your car to go to work that you decide to hang up. You keep the goodbye casual, but once the line’s cut, you take a deep breath to squeal and bounce in your seat until you’ve calmed down. “Nafla just video called me… He just called me… Ah!!”

When you’ve finally calmed down enough to start your car and make your way out of the parking garage onto the road, you’re already thinking about how you’re going to slam your keyboard in the group chat. And then, right at a stoplight, a new message appears on your phone, making you almost lose it when you glance over.

‘I missed the sound of your skin against cotton’

The other drivers beside you barely wait when the light turns green, eager to drive away from the crazy person screaming inside of her car.

Over the next few months, it’s the same old story. You guys pick up on conversation over text for a week or two before eventually letting it die out, only to pick back up again several weeks later. Sometimes, the talks get deep, sometimes they remain lighthearted and noncommittal. There’s even another video call or two sometimes. But you have completely returned to square one.

Of course you still go about your life as you normally do, working, dancing, hanging out with friends, occasionally going out, though you’re more reluctant to have flings now because you doubt they’ll ever live up to your experience with Nick. But you spend a lot of your time thinking about him, wondering if you’re holding out for him when you don’t need to be, annoying your friends with questions about him.

They all have their own takes on the situation, some motivated by self-growth, some motivated by clout, some motivated by adventure, but in the end, you can’t get him out of your head and you don’t know if you want to. Your memories of your time with him still feel so fresh and your body still craves for a man to treat you as well as he did.

It’s not like you haven’t tried going on a date or two in the meantime, but it’s just so hard to hold up to that standard that you now have. No one makes you feel as euphoric or special as Nick did when he came to visit you. Honestly, who could ever begin to compare? The dude flew to another country to come see you. What could some regular dude possibly do to impress you on a first date anymore?

You’ve been in the same section of this maze in your head for too long, which is why you decide to take your upcoming vacation on your own. Maybe what you need is some alone time, away from all the familiar friends and restaurants and advice and places that remind you of when you brought Nafla there. You’re going to take your two week vacation and go backpacking somewhere new, somewhere fresh. Somewhere that will give you a whole new state of mind.

“That’s pretty noble of you, to just take an adventure to yourself and commit to it.” Your friend comments when you explain your plans to the group.

“Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet someone while you’re traveling around.” Another suggests. “A new man or new friend or whoever they may be.”

“I sure hope so. Do you think that if I talk to random strangers at a bar about Nick that they’ll all give me different advice?” You wonder.

“I don’t think traveling with the intention to get advice for your love life is the best way to approach your trip.” Another friend deadpans, “But that would be interesting to see the differences in opinion.”

“Also, you have to remember, if you do this, it has to be about you.” Another friend reminds you, “If he happens to hit you up during the trip or he asks about it, don’t let him pull anything crazy.”

You snort, “And by crazy, you mean?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean.” She retorts, “He flew out to see you once. Who’s to say he won’t do it again? He’s just going to mess with your head, I’m telling you.”

“That’s not going to happen, I won’t let it.” You assure your friends, who all give you skeptical looks or just look away while sipping their drinks. “I’m serious! This is going to be my vacation, and I’m not going to let it get ahead of me this time. I mean it.”

Your friends exchange looks with each other before turning to you, “If you say so.”

All goes as planned. You land in Budapest to kick off your trip, then make your way up to Bratislava, Vienna, and then Prague. It’s tougher than you thought it would be traveling alone without a guide or being fluent in all the different languages of the places you visit, but you make do. And you make an adventure of it.

You spend your days hiking mountains, walking through old neighborhoods, visiting cathedrals and museums, eating at bistros and drinking at bars, talking to all kinds of people, evening booking a tour or lesson every so often. It’s all a bit overwhelming just traveling to a new place every two or three days and getting reaccustomed to each new city, but it’s refreshing. And it keeps your mind occupied.

For the first week.

‘Hey are you on vacation right now?’

You get the text while you’re in Poznan, enjoying your third St Martin’s croissant that day at a nice cafe near your hostel. First, your heart stops, because you can already hear your friends’ voices in the back of your head telling you not to do it. And they get louder as you unlock your phone and open the messaging app, but before you realize it, your reply is sent.

‘Yeah! On a small Europe tour this time’

‘Nice. I saw your pics on IG. Looks cool’ His response appears immediately.

But this is fine, you continue to text him for a few minutes and update each other as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary.

‘Where are you gonna be in a few days?’ He asks.

‘Depends. I’ll be in a couple other cities in Poland for a bit, but I’m gonna fly to a city in Latvia for the last leg of my trip’

Your heart beats as you wait for the next message, and it bursts when you see it actually appear.

‘Can I come join you?’

You should not be doing this.

You should not have gotten caught up in the excitement of his request and eagerly planned out the details for his arrival. You should not have cancelled your reservation at a guesthouse and agreed to stay with him in a hotel. You should not have put so much effort into your appearance when you’ve just been bumming it for most of this trip and prioritizing comfort and ease. And you most certainly should not be getting frisky with him on this taxi ride to the hotel.

“Nick— Nick, wait. Mmph—“ You pull away as he kisses you.

“I missed hearing you say my name like that.” He chuckles, kissing your cheek and rubbing at your thigh before moving back to his own space in the backseat.

“Oh my god, chill.” You laugh back, “I missed you too, though.”

When he just smiles and holds your hand in response, your cheeks can’t take it and you just direct your gaze out the window instead. You’re so warm and your heart is pounding like crazy in your chest. You wonder if he can feel your pulse in your wrist right now.

After leading him to the room you booked — since you had arrived in Riga first — he sets his stuff down and pins you to the edge of the bed, and just kisses you. He kisses you for a while, slowly, tenderly, like he’s making up for lost time. And he does that several times, only taking small breaks to breathe and look into your eyes before coming right back in.

And he keeps it rather chaste — with his hands at least. They remain on your hips, occasionally rubbing at them and your butt, but he doesn’t move them anywhere too rated. His lips however, they’re taking you on a ride that you didn’t even know you had been waiting in line for. You feel like you’re in a movie, reuniting with your true love after years apart due to war or something. He actually kisses you just that passionately.

At some point, you realize you’ve been laid down on the bed and Nafla rests on top of you, like he’s unable to remove his lips from yours. You’re beginning to realize that you never enjoyed kissing any guy as much as you’ve enjoyed kissing him. You could probably do this for hours, and you’re fairly sure he would let you. How are you supposed to not fall even deeper for him like this?

“Nick…” You sigh, eyes totally glazed over when he next pulls away from you.

“Ugh, you oughta know you shouldn’t be calling my name like that.” He groans into your neck, finally starting to rub himself against you.

You hum in pure delight, absolutely high off of this affection and pleasure and company. It’s like you’re finally being properly touched again. “Maybe… Maybe we should hold off for now.” You shiver, voice still shaky from excitement.

“Sure, that’s probably a good idea.” He groans in his low, sexy voice before lifting himself off of you to stand again.

You two take a few minutes to get your minds and bodies settled before pulling your belongings together in the room and discussing where to go for lunch. Since neither of you are feeling particularly peckish yet, you decide to go buy some food to bring with you on a picnic near the lake.

Nafla looks up good foods to try out while you navigate where the central market is. And as you’re shopping, it feels like a domestic getaway with your dream man more and more. He jumps and rides on the shopping cart like a kid, debates with you on what drinks to buy, feeds you samples, and attacks you with surprise back hugs. All you’re waiting for is for some old person nearby to ask how long you’ve been married for.

About an hour or so later, you both get off the bus and trek through the forest of Beberbeku Lake until you find an area with some wooden benches and tables. You sit beside each other on the same bench after you set up all the food and drinks, and Nafla tries feeding you again, which you turn away this time in favor of eating what you actually want to eat.

“You need to put some veggies in your body, even if you’re on vacation.” You insist.

“I barely saw any vegetables in the market; clearly the diet here is built on protein.” He argues back. “And pickles.”

To emphasize his point, he tries to stick one of the pickles from the jar the grocer recommended in your face. “Stop it, I don’t want your pickle.” You reject him with the tone of the child.

“Really? I thought you liked my pickle.” He takes the opening for the lewd joke. “Or was all the screaming last time from all the veggies you ate?”

“You shut the fuck up!” You scoff, smacking him in the arm, “Don’t turn a cute picnic into something dirty.”

“Oh please, you’d like it.” He chuffs, smiling as he takes the pickle back.

“That’s beside the point.”

“Is it?” He challenges.

“Anyway!” You interrupt the flow of this conversation before anyone nearby starts to listen in, “How’d you get permission for a getaway so soon anyway? Don’t you have shows to do?”

“Yeah, but everyone needs a break every so often, despite how we all rap about no days off.” He slides his arm around your waist to keep you close to him while he eats with his other hand, “So I convinced the team to let me have these couple of days between shows to enjoy myself.”

“That’s sustainable.” You comment, pulling out a piece of rye bread and smearing it with an herby butter you found in the market. “Have you ever thought about coming here on your own? Or for a show?”

It’s still hard to believe that you’re able to converse so casually with Nafla of MKIT RAIN like you’re old friends, or an old couple. But he just makes it so easy for you by accepting all of your energy and rallying it back to you. You suppose that’s what makes it so hard to turn away from him.

You absolutely love this connection you have with Nick, and you can tell that he enjoys being with you too, when he is with you. And despite what your friends warned you about and what you also know may emerge from this, you still want to enjoy the time that you get with him — simply because he took the time to come see you. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to be.

The intention and sincerity behind it all is a completely different story, but for now, you allow yourself this indulgence. Traveling really becomes so much better when you’re with a companion — especially one that you get to make out with.

So for the next few days, you explore Riga with Nick beside you, taking pictures, walking through cathedrals and churches, interacting with people at bars, hiking through forests and mountains, everything you had been doing before with a new facet to your vacation. Nick always provides fun conversation, or a comfy shoulder to rest on, and he treats you to a lot of the things the city has to offer this time.

It’s the time of your life, honestly. You dance along with street performers, you attend a music event together, you eat and drink all kinds of new and strange things, and of course, you have a lot of sex. It’s physically impossible for you and Nick not to get down and dirty when the day comes to an end in your hotel room. If you’re honest, you think that that might actually be the highlight of any day.

Which also makes you wonder again — is that what he’s here for? Sex and a good time? A private getaway? And can you blame him for that when you’re still here lapping up the attention and affection he gives you? You don’t know how you should approach this anymore because when it comes down to it, you don’t even know what you want from him.

Commitment? That’s probably going to be the hardest no you’ll ever get smacked with. He’s young and in his prime, and having a committed significant other would bring about all kinds of complications.

His intention? If he tells you that he doesn’t want anything serious from you, would you still be willing to provide that occasional fling for him? Can your heart continue to handle all the mind games and unanswered anticipation?

A clean cut? Say worse comes to worst, you end up never speaking to him ever again. It’s the absolute last thing you want, especially after you feel like you’ve gotten close to him, but maybe you should follow your friends’ and family’s advice to just enjoy what you had with him, but put it behind you. Maybe it’s just not meant to be.

But… you can’t help but hold out that small hope that, maybe — just maybe — he would want something more. Maybe he did put all this effort into keeping in contact with you and flying out to see you because he genuinely likes you. And maybe one day, if he does decide to settle down, he would choose you.

Because if you lay it all out, and if it were all up to you, you would choose him. You would choose to keep what you have. You would. Even with the distance, even if he’s fucking other chicks on the side, even if you don’t talk for weeks on end. If he would be willing to keep you in his heart, you would wait for him.

You would. You really like him. You like him as Nicholas Choi now, not just Nafla of MKIT RAIN. He’s more than just a famous rapper to you now; the two of you have history. He’s more familiar with your body now than the majority of the men you’ve been with before. And you like how sweet he is, how he’s humble, and focused, and goal-oriented, and how he treats you well even with all the success that he’s had up until now.

Now that you’ve come to this realization, you sigh knowing what you have to do. You can’t put this off like you did last time. You’ve known since then that he’s someone special and that you won’t be able to easily get him off your mind if you keep playing head games with yourself like this.

So on the last night of your trip, the night before Nick has to leave in the morning, you stop him when he tries to pull you on his lap on the bed. If you had more patience, you would just fuck him for one more night and tell him in the morning, but it’s been eating at you all day and you can’t run from your own thoughts anymore. “Nick, wait.”

“Is something wrong?” He looks around your face, searching for signs of distress.

“It’s not so much wrong, as it is…” You pull away from him and sit cross-legged on the bed in front of him, “Confusing.”

He blinks at you, looking like he knows what’s coming, like maybe he’s been waiting for this moment to come. So he adjusts his own sitting position to face you, “What is?”

You take a deep breath and run your hand through your hair, giving yourself a moment, “Look, Nick. These past few days have been incredible. And last time when you came to visit me, incredible. I really enjoyed spending all this time with you and having fun with you like this.”

“Yeah, me too.” He agrees.

“Right.” You nod, “But… I don’t know if I can keep doing this anymore. At least, not without knowing what you’re actually thinking.”

Nick nods like he understands, looking away for a moment before returning his eyes to you, “Okay, what do you want to know?”

“I think you can guess.” You say, rubbing at your knee nervously, “I like you. A lot. A whole fucking lot. And… I like how I feel when I’m with you, and all the effort you put into coming to see me again. But I don’t know if I can just keep acting like I’m your girlfriend a couple days of the year when I’m just stuck in my feelings for the rest of the year, wondering if you like me back.”

He continues to nod slowly as you talk, his eyes and body language starting to become more closed off. That doesn’t look good for you.

But he takes the responsibility upon himself to give you an answer, at least, “I do like you. I really do. Every moment that I’ve had with you, it’s been real. That much is true, I swear to you.”

You nod, understanding. And then bracing yourself for what’s to come next. “I’m sorry if I’ve been… stressing you out. I guess I got so caught up in how much fun I was having that I didn’t think about how you may have been feeling. I genuinely like you, and I like what we have, but the last thing I want is to put you through pain because of me. So…”

You can feel your body tensing to brace for impact. Here goes nothing.

“If you’ve had enough that pain, then I totally understand. But I’m going to be honest and tell you I’m not ready for anything serious.”

You nod again, suddenly feeling a prickle of heat behind your eyes that you hadn’t been expecting. But you listen as he continues, “You are so amazing, and maybe if things were different, I’d be with you in a heartbeat.”

“You say that to all the girls you fuck around the world?” You chuckle in an attempt to lighten up the atmosphere, and distract from the tears forming in your eyes.

“You’re the only one I’ve flown across the world to see, I swear.” He smiles. Well, that does make you feel a little better. Flattered, at the very least. “Actually, you’re the only person I’ve met for a one night thing that I’ve kept talking to. I never had any idea that we’d be where we are now.”

It’s too late, the tears have already formed. One falls down your face when you blink, but you still smile, happy about what you’re hearing. “Guess this whole thing would’ve turned out differently if you actually had a condom that first night.” You laugh with a sniffle, wiping at your face.

“Yeah,” Nick chuckles, bringing a hand up to swipe a few tears off your face with his own thumb. “But I don’t regret any of it. I’m glad I met you, and that we’ve done all this. I’ll probably write a song about you one day.”

You break out in a laugh at that one, but tears still fall from your eyes, ironically enough. “Thanks, I guess. I mean…” you try to find the right words to say while your heart and mind are so scrambled up, “I’ll still like you, and I’m fine with that. But I just needed to know so that my heart isn’t… holding out for you when you know that it’s not gonna become anything.”

“Yeah… I’m sorry.” He puts his hand on top of yours and wipes at more of your tears with his other hand.

“I’ll be fine. Eventually.” You take a deep breath. “But, if I ever see you again, I don’t think I can do this again.”

“Nah, I get that.” He nods.

“If you want, I can still be your friend though,” you offer, “If you ever need anything from me, just ask. Although I doubt you’ll need anything from me.” You chuckle.

“That’d be cool.”

“But… Just don’t contact me for a bit. I think I need some time to clear my head.” You request.

“Of course.” He agrees, then opens his arms for a hug, which you accept. And you take your sweet time in his arms, remembering his scent, his touch, his skin. It may very well be your last time.

When you pull away, you sigh as you look at him, “Do you still wanna have a romp? I’d be down to give you that much.”

“No, we don’t have to.” He smiles, “I don’t want all this to be too much for you.”

“It’s okay, I want to.” You insist, slowly rubbing a hand along his leg, “I wouldn’t give up the chance to fuck Nick Choi one last time.”

He laughs, and that smile makes your heart light up. You’re going to miss it like crazy, you can already feel it. But for now…

“Okay, then. Come here.” He lifts you into his lap, gently rubbing at your back until you come down to kiss him. He’s extra soft and sweet this time, and it just squeezes at your heart even more.

“Ugh, that mouth of yours is dangerous.” You grunt when you pull away.

“Oh yeah?” He chuckles.

“Yeah.” You retort with a little attitude, but still playfully, “You kiss a girl like you love her, how do you expect her not to fall for you?”

He only offers you a curious hum before kissing you again and rolling you over to lie on top of you, “Do you want me to stop?”

“Not at all.”

And he doesn’t. He doesn’t stop all night long.

#nafla x reader #nafla #nicholas choi #nicholas choi x reader #khiphop scenario #mkit rain #situationship #hate me if you want but i like this ending #tho there may or may not be a sequel one day #mine #nafla scenario

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