#but then i also found a tank top and socks that ive been needing

[florida3exclamationpoints]

I'm going on a little shopping trip. For my mental health

[omori-sv-au]

its late but idc i finished a oneshot >:) i actually wrote this like 2 months ago but basically rewrote 80% of it bc it was. very outdated LMAO ive changed quite a bit since ive started making this au but yeah enjoy also this was formatted on mobile so if it looks horrendous on pc please forgive me ill fix it tomorrow

Hero waved goodbye to his employee as he left the restaurant, smiling until he saw the man enter his car. He let out a long sigh and made his way back to his office. It was particularly cold out, and the wind coming inside from when the employee opened the door to leave annoyed him quite a bit. He ruffled through his hair. Why was he letting some wind annoy him?

To be fair, it had been quite the busy day. The restaurant was packed, to say the least- as expected on Saturday nights. Hero knew his food had a great reputation in Faraway. He liked that.

However, night had fallen and the restaurant had closed, meaning it was time for his other “lifestyle” to take it’s course. He finished his closing routine and swiftly left the building.

As expected from the wind earlier, it was particularly chilly today. Definitely staying inside tonight, Hero thought as he walked straight past his car and further down the empty city streets of Faraway. He couldn’t risk taking the car with him- no one could know where he was. Hero slipped into a nearby alleyway, beginning to weave through the various buildings until he found a door on the side of one that looked abandoned.

The door wasn’t particularly special in any way. But it was one Hero found himself at almost every night. There was a slot near the top that opened up when he knocked, revealing a pair of eyes that widened once they laid on him. The door was swiftly opened a moment later.

“Good evening, boss!” The girl who opened the door said with a twinge of nervousness in her voice that Hero picked up and attempted to remedy by sending a smile her way. She breathed a sigh of relief, and he made his way forward until he found another door. But this one belonged to him.

Hero swung it open and stepped inside, quickly closing the door behind him before setting his bag down. He took a look at the room he was in- his office. His “other” office.

Hero opened a closet in his office and flipped through the various articles of clothing until he found what he needed- a shiny, two-piece blue suit, with white stripes running across both pieces. It had been dry-cleaned and ironed to perfection, and the suit almost looked like it glowed. Only the best, Hero thought as he took the suit out of the closet and began changing out of his work clothes.

He loved the way the suit felt on him. It made him feel important. Respected. Powerful.

Rich.

For the finishing touch on his outfit, he opened a drawer in his desk and took out a pair of large, spiky, triangular sunglasses that were tinted so dark that you could use them as a mirror.

Sure, Hero was the boss of his restaurant, but it was in this outfit and in this time of day that he truly felt like one. Looking at his reflection in the mirror on his desk, he smirked upon seeing he looked as grand as ever.

Down here, no one knew of “Hero”. They only referred to him by one name:

Bossman.

Finally feeling comfortable, he yawned and sat down, only to let out a yelp when he saw someone standing where the door had been.

Hero quickly regained his composure to get a better look at who was in his office. It was a boy- he was definitely younger than Hero, at least 3 or 4 years as he looked fresh out of high school. He was wearing a black tank top and white shorts with black stripes, along with black socks that stopped just above his knees. His hair was pitch black and quite short, but his bangs were long and would cover his face if not for the cat mask he wore to conceal his identity. Hero had no idea who this was or how he got inside, but he knew it meant trouble. He quickly got up and slowly approached the boy.

“Answer quickly. Who are you and how did you get in here?” He snapped, putting his hand in his pocket and gripping a pocket knife he had stashed in there.

“My name is Omori,” the boy started, his voice quiet and monotone. His facial expression didn’t change from the blank one he had when Hero first saw him, even as he was slowly being approached. “I let myself in.”

Hero raised an eyebrow. Who did this guy think he was? Did he even know who Hero was? What he was capable of?

“And why are you here?” He asked, stopping in front of Omori.

“I want to work with you,” answered Omori plainly. Hero paused. Really? All this for a job offering? He snorted.

“Well, it’s admirable that you broke in here, I’ll give you that,” he said, crossing his arms. “But I don’t exactly offer paid positions right away, if you’re here looking to pay off your college debts. Plus…” Hero walked back to his desk and sat down.

“I have no idea who you are, you’ve just broken into my office, and most importantly, you haven’t given me good reason to hire you in the first place. I cant just go around putting nobodies on my team, eh? Why should I hire you?”

Omori was silent for a bit. Hero would never admit it, but he had no idea what he could be thinking about. The expression on his face was unreadable. But, after another moment of silence he finally spoke up.

“Because,” he said, slowly putting his hands up to his mask and beginning to remove it, much to Hero’s surprise. Finally, he could see who this guy was. Maybe it was-

No.

Hero’s eyes widened in fear as the mask fell to the floor with a clang. Standing in front of him was his long-time childhood friend, best friend of his little brother, and sibling to his dead girlfriend… Sunny Suzuki.

“…I know who you are, Hero.”

Hero began to sweat, which he hated doing in this suit. This was pretty bad. No one had figured out his true identity, and if word got out, his reputation of being one of the most kind-hearted and generous people in Faraway would be ruined. And he desperately needed that reputation. Not only that, but someone he was very close with was the one to find it out.

But wait. He wanted to work with him. Why would Sunny possibly want to work with him?

“Sunny?” He began, trying to regain his composure. “Sunny, you- you can’t be here. Let alone work here. You’re gonna go home, go to sleep, and forget everything you saw here. Got it?”

Sunny was silent again, which Hero disliked.

“No.” He said, after what seemed like another eternity. “I want to work with you.”

Hero frowned. “Sunny, you know what I do here, right?”

“Yes.”

“And, pray tell me, what exactly did you have in mind of doing with me?”

“Helping.”

Hero sighed. This wasn’t going anywhere, but he didn’t know if Sunny would leave. He seemed dead-set on this, for reasons he could not comprehend.

“Sunny, listen- what I do is very, VERY dangerous. And while this may seem hypocritical, I can’t in good heart let you come with me.”

“I can help. Watch,” Sunny replied, as if he didn’t hear a word Hero said. Hero opened his mouth to protest but was silenced when Sunny raised an arm and three, ghost-like red hands appeared from thin air and levitated upwards, mimicking Sunny’s arm. Hero’s eyes widened in surprise. So… Sunny had superpowers? And he never knew… he wondered if any of the others knew about it. Nevertheless, this changed everything.

“Sunny, my friend…” he said, the tone of his voice changing to that of a smooth businessman.

“Why didn’t you say so in the first place? Why, if I knew you had superpowers I’d have you on my team as soon as possible. Welcome aboard!” He exclaimed, getting up and walking over to Sunny. He stuck out a hand towards him, grinning like a maniac. Sunny stared at his hand for a second, and then took his hand and shook it, sealing the deal. Hero let go and took a step back.

“Now, those red hands you’ve got there look helpful… but can you fight?”

Sunny nodded. “I can demonstrate.” Hero laughed. “While I’d love to see that, I’d rather keep my henchmen healthy tonight. Saves loads of money on hospital bills… you know how it is. However…”

He went back to his desk, turning on his computer and quickly scrolling through something. When he found what he was looking for, he sent a smirk towards Sunny.

“I’ve got something I gotta do tomorrow night that will give you loads of people to practice on. Whaddya say?”

“Okay.”

Hero walked back towards him and slapped a hand on his back, letting out another hearty laugh.

“Then it’s a deal!”

[popcrone818]

Spitfire-chapter 3

Sorry that I've been gone for so long, here is the next chapter in my Sweet Pea story.

Hope you enjoy please leave feedback.

Aurora’s POV

I stormed out of Sweet Pea’s trailer, tears coming to my eyes as the scene played on repeat in my mind. He only saw me as a friend nothing more, no matter how close we had been. I heard a bang coming from his trailer and I knew that he knew I wasn’t coming back. I sat in my car just outside Sunnyside Trailer park as I watched Toni and Fangs ride in on their bikes. I knew they were going to Sweet Pea’s as today was our normal day of watching movies until we got bored and ordered food. It’ll be a shock to them that I’m not there cuddled up to him already. I threw my car into drive and took off back to my house, hoping that Archie was with Veronica and that dad was at work. I didn’t want to deal with anyone else today I just wanted to lay in the bath and listen to music. There were no cars in the drive way when I got home so I headed straight upstairs to my bathroom and started running a bath with bubbles for myself. I had cried the whole way home and my eyes were puffy and my makeup smudged. I lit a few candles around the bathroom before I heard the doorbell ring just as I was about to get undressed. I groaned and headed back downstairs my socked feet making little noise on the hardwood floors.

“This better be fucking good I’m not in the mood.” I swung the door open to be face to face with Toni. She grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into her body. I felt sobs wrack my body as she moved us inside.

“It’s okay, come one I know that you want a bath, I’ll help you.” She led me upstairs and back into the bathroom that smelt like the teakwood candles I had lit before Toni arrived. She helped me undressed which isn’t weird even though she’s gay, this isn’t the first time Sweet Pea has been a dick and I’ve needed a bath. She switched on her playlist specifically designed for moments like these and she came to sit on the edge of the bath with some make up wipes. After helping me take off my smudged makeup she sat down on the cold tile of the bathroom and turned to me. “Tell me what happened. He told us what happened but what happened with your side.” I sunk down lower in the bath before I answered her.

“Basically he thinks that I need protecting, that I’m so fucking breakable that he needs to protect me from everyone.” I took a deep breath and looked at her.

“Oh honey, no he doesn’t, he knows how strong you are. You have never not once backed down from putting him in his place, when most people would from one single glance from him. That first day we met you I remember talking to him once you left, he said that no one has ever stood up to him like that. We teased him saying that he liked you but he brushed us off. When you did your dance he couldn’t take his eyes off you. But I know for a fact he wasn’t thinking sexually, there was nothing going on in his pants when Fangs looked at him. That may sound bad but what I’m really trying to tell you is that; he may be a dick, and he may have anger issues that he really needs to resolve but he does like you, as more than a friend, he’s just afraid of you leaving, he only has us. Well us and the serpents, but even then he really only has the three of us and he’s terrified of any of us leaving him.” I blinked back tears as her words sunk in. I had just walked out of one of my best friends lives just because he called me a friend and because I thought he thought of me as breakable.

“Should I go back over there?” I asked her.

“God no, make him grovel, you’re a badass bitch who don’t need no man. Make him want you that much more, make him squirm. Honestly he probably deserves it. Tonight you and I are having a girls night.” She giggled causing me to giggle. “Now where do you hide your face masks?” I pointed out the bottom drawer in the vanity. She nodded and got out all the different masks that I have before she took off out the door. I shook my head at her before she came back in dressed in a pair of my pjs and carrying another pair along with underwear for me. She was wearing a light green pair that consisted of booty shorts and a spaghetti strap tank top. For me she had grabbed my black booty shorts with my huge tshirt that I had stolen from Sweet Pea. I glared at her before I got out wrapping a towel around my body and drying off.

“I thought we were trying to make me feel better not make me miss him.” I held up the shirt to the front of my body.

“Shit I forgot that was his.” I waved her off and pulled it over my head. I may be pissed at him but he still smelt amazing. Even the candles I had put on reminded me of his scent. We spent the rest of the night talking shit about Sweet Pea and Fangs and also laughing our asses off at memories either with or without the boys as we did masks and watched stupid girly movies which made the both of us cry.

Sweet Pea’s POV

Summer had came quickly. Rory was avoiding me at any cost, serpent meetings she would stay by the bar with Toni, or she would be working the bar. She never came to the wyrm to just hang out anymore and when I saw her in school she kept her headphones in and her head down. I had been spending a lot of time with Josie McCoy and she was fun sure but she was no Rory, I thought she could help me get over her but she couldn’t. She and I were just using each other and called it a summer fling but a couple weeks in I couldn’t do it anymore. I had watched Rory laughing at Fangs and Toni in the wyrm and I just felt like absolute shit, so I stormed out of the wyrm jumped in my bike and made my way to Josie’s.

“Didn’t know we had a hook up scheduled.” She chuckled as she opened her door.

“I’m not here for a hook up.” I told her looking down at my feet. “I cant keep doing this Josie, I’m sorry.” I went to turn back around and leave when she grabbed my shoulder turning me around. Her lips were on mine and before I could even think we were up in her room hooking up yet again. I looked at her and suddenly I couldn’t see Josie anymore I saw Rory which made me kiss down her neck and bite harshly. I felt her moan which only spurred me on more.

It wasn’t until I was laying down staring up at the ceiling that I finally saw Josie not Rory. I frowned and looked at Josie before I got up to collect my clothes.

“This is it, no more I cant keep doing this to myself.” I told her as I buckled my belt back up.

“You love her don’t you?” She asked as she wrapped a sheet around her body.

“Who?” I asked her playing dumb, in the last 6 months all I have been able to think about is Rory, I have finally come to the realisation that the things we used to do we did because I liked her.

“Aurora Andrews.” I looked down at the floor as I shrugged on my jacket.

“Yeah I do. I have since I met her.”

“Then go get her dumbass. You’re the reason she has changed and you and I were only doing this so that we could forget other people. And I know I’m not the only one it hasn’t worked for. I don’t know how many times you’ve called me Rory.” I turned away from her and started to head out the door. “I hope it works out for you Sweet Pea, you’re a really great guy and I’m sorry for using you these past couple of weeks.”

“I’m sorry too, I hope everything works out for you.” With that I walked out of her room and out of her house.

I made my way to Wyrm knowing tonight was a night she was doing a shift with Toni, I had to talk to her, I needed to talk to her even if I can only get her back as a friend I don’t care. I quickly spotted Toni as I walked in, but she quickly ducked into the room behind the bar.

Aurora POV

Toni joined me in the back room as I tied my hair up getting ready for my shift.

“He’s here, you either start the plan now or you keep waiting hoping life will go on. But I know the both of you are miserable without the other.” She went to turn around and walk out before I spoke up.

“He has Josie now.” She spun back around to me as my voice was so quiet. “He doesn’t want me anymore and the plan is now null and void. Can I just have the night off?�� She shook her head and grabbed both of my shoulders before pushing me out the door. I stumbled a little bit before I crashed into a strong chest. Their arms wound around my waist and I was hit wth a familiar scent, one I hadn’t smelt in months, other than the occasional candle that had a similar scent. Minus the leather and cigarette smell. I looked up craning my neck slightly as I was in heels so I wasn’t as short as I normally would be, and I found myself lost in his deep dark pools of whiskey. He cleared his throat and I pushed myself away from his strong arms and chest standing on my own. I crossed my arms over my chest and just stared at him as I waited for him to say something.

“Rory.” He breathed out reaching his hand out to me. I took another step back away from him and saw his face fall. “I’m sorry about that night, I’m a fucking idiot, I didn’t realise only calling you a friend and making you think that I thought you were fragile would do this. I like protecting you, even though I know you can protect yourself, I like knowing that I’m needed. These past couple of months I have missed your touch, have missed our banter, I’ve missed the way you push me to be someone better than just a drug running Serpent. Aurora Andrew’s I miss you so much and I never thought I would ever say that about a Northsider but you are different.” He took a deep breath and our eyes locked. I felt my resolve crumple around me and I reached my arms up and tangled my hands in his hair bringing his body closer to mine. Feelings aside, because he never mentioned them and I knew he was with Josie now, I knew I missed my best friend.

“Ive missed you too Sweets, I’ve missed sitting on you, I’ve missed our movie nights and cuddles. I’ve missed everything about you even the way you smell, which sounds weird now that I say that out loud. I had this whole plan to make you regret being a dick but standing here in your arms I know that I never want to go that long without your arms wrapped around me again.” I buried my head in his chest and I felt him chuckle as he ran his fingers through my hair.

“What did this plan entail?” He asked me pulling away from me slightly.

“Basically it was just making you regret the way that you spoke to me, showing you I wasn’t fragile and kicking some Ghoulie ass, but thinking about that now I can see how stupid it was.” I laughed and brought him in for another hug. His head rested in the crook of my neck and I felt his breath fan over the exposed skin.

“Rory, shift is starting!” I heard Toni yell from behind the bar. I pulled away from Sweet Pea and placed a soft kiss on his cheek before I strutted away swinging my hips more than normal as I felt his eyes on me. He is such a boy. I joined Toni behind the bar and watched as Sweet Pea walked over to Fangs to start a game of pool. “So… that looked promising?” She questioned me as we started to serve some of the patrons of the bar.

“He apologised and told me all of these cute things that he missed about me, I was fucking putty in his hands and he knew that. I wanted to make him work for it but as soon as I felt his touch I was fucking gone. Toni I think I love that man over there.” She squealed and pulled me into her.

“I’m so gad you finally see it. Ive been saying that for months and you’ve just brushed me off every time. I actually remember you threatening me over it once too.” We giggled at each other and my eyes found Sweet Pea, he was already looking at me and we made eye contact before I blushed and turned away from him back to the job at hand of getting the older serpents drunk.

“Hey pretty lady, what are you doing after you finish up here?” I heard a deep baritone voice coming from behind me and instantly tensed up. I turned around slowly and threw the rag I had in my hands at Sweet Pea.

“I was seriously about to cuss you out and tell you I had a boyfriend, they always leave me alone when I do that.” He threw the rag back at me and I got back to the tedious job of cleaning all the glasses.

“You get that often then I assume?” He asked me as he sat at the bar. I rolled my eyes at him and grabbed a beer out for him.

“Every so often, once they saw I wasn’t around you as often they started to get worse. I guess your just a really scary badass Serpent that even the older serpents are afraid of.”

“Yeah I kicked one of their asses a few months back and no one has looked me in the eye since.” He took a swig of his beer before my attention had to be taken away by another Serpent.

“Hey hot stuff!” I rolled my eyes but went over to him anyway. “Once your done with mister 30 seconds I’ll take a beer and your number thanks.” He winked at me and I watched from the corner of my eyes as Sweet Pea clenched and unclenched his fists. I bent over slightly more than I needed to in Sweet Pea’s line of sight as I got the beer out.

“You can have the beer, because that’s my job, but my number and my attention are saved for him, so I would appreciate any rude remarks to be kept to a minimum or non existent.” I sent him a wink and shoved the beer into his hand before turning back to Sweet Pea.

“Um, when did that happen?” He asked gesturing to my body.

“Um, when my big cuddly teddy bear decided to be a dick. I told you I could take care of myself, now you’ve seen me in action.” I rolled my eyes at him as he looked back over to the perv from before. “Plus he probably heard you hit on me and I didn’t say anything so he thought it was alright tonight.” I shrugged and started to wipe down the bar.

“I always knew you could handle yourself Rory, I’m just very protective, and I guess you could say territorial as well.” He looked down at the bar not meeting my eyes.

“Oh I know you are Sweets, why do you think I let you give me all those hickies anyway?” He gave me a questioning look finally meeting my eye as I leant against the bar on the other side.

“Wait, what? You knew I was doing that to keep pervs like that fuckwit away from you?” He asked me, I nodded and leant over closer to him on the bar. My boobs getting squished between the bar top and my body.

“Of curse I did, I also knew you beat up the first Serpent that tried to hit on me too. I’m not stupid Sweets.”

“Never said you were. What time do you get off anyway?” He asked me as I leaned back to look at the clock.

“Uh, in 15 why?”

“Movies at mine? No Fangs, no Toni just the two of us?”

“Absolutely!” I looked around for Toni hoping I could get off early. I found her over by the pool tables with Fangs. “You go talk to her, I’ll make sure everything is right for her to take over.” He nodded and got up making his way over to Toni and Fangs, I saw her nod her head as I wiped the bar clean.

“So you having movie night without us tonight?” She asked as she retied her apron on her hips. I nodded and blushed. “Get out of here, and if I don’t get an update tonight I’ll assume things went great and we should start planning your wedding tomorrow.” She winked at me causing me to blush even darker. She pulled me into a tight hug before placing a kiss on my cheek.

“Ready?” Sweet Pea asked from behind Toni. I nodded and pulled off my apron before going into the back to get my things. Sweet Pea placed a hand in the small of my back as we made our way out of the Wyrm.

“USE PROTECTION!” I heard Fangs yell from inside and I blushed and looked at Sweet Pea.

“Toni also thinks something is going to happen tonight.”

“It can if you want.” He whispered in my ear before handing me his helmet. I shook my head and gestured to my own bike. His eyes nearly fell out of his head at my baby. I grinned before placing a kiss on his cheek and skipping off to my bike, turning the key and hearing the engine roar to life. I looked back to Sweet Pea who hadn’t moved yet, his jaw going slack before I winked at him and sped off to his trailer.

Being back in his trailer again after so many weeks of not being here was weird, he handed me a glass of water before we sat down on his couch and faced each other.

“How have you been?” He sat down his glass and licked his lips. I found myself watching his every move.

“Not too bad, been busy working and you know things with school.” He ran his fingers through his hair and I felt my fingers twitch.

“Okay, look we used to be close, I want to get back to that and this small talk bullshit is not helping our situation. In the last couple of months we have both been avoiding each other, after you stormed out of my trailer Toni told me why she thought I lost you. Look, I called you a friend because I thought that’s what we were, just best friends.”

“Look I understand that we were friends and I know that you calling me a friend shouldn’t have effected me the way that it did. But it happened and I acted on impulse,”

“The way that you left effected me in a way that it shouldn’t have as well. We were both acting on emotions, I love you Aurora, that is why I protect you, that is why I acted the way I did with Mantle that day, and why I got so emotional when you told me you could handle yourself. I know you can but I like feeling like I’m needed, needed by someone so important in my life. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment. I miss the feeling of your fingers on my skin, I miss when you would push me in the chest when I was being a dick, I miss you sitting in my lap and wrapping my arms around you, I miss cuddling in the couch and watching movies until all hours of the night.” He reached forward and took my hand in his anger one, he looked down at our interlocked hands and started to fidget with one of my many rings. “These past couple of months have been hell for me, as Im sure it has been for you. Toni hardly spoke to me she would talk to me through Fangs, and I knew she was with you when she wasn’t with us. It killed me not having you right beside me.” I squeezed his hand and looked into his deep whiskey eyes. I’m could see a slight sheen to his eyes and squeezed his hand again.

“Sweet’s, these months have been just as hard for me too, that’s why Toni stayed with me. I reacted the way I did because I thought we had something, because I thought you could see I could handle myself and when you would jump in it made me feel like you didn’t have that faith in me. I thought you cared enough to let me be myself. It hurt Sweet Pea,”

“Noah,” I cocked my head to the side and looked at him strangely. “My name, its Noah.” He looked down at his lap and I felt my face contort into a smile. “No one knows, so please keep it to yourself.” He avoided looking up at me. I reached forward with my free hand and grasped his jaw tilting his head to look at me. I held his gaze.

“Noah, I will never let anyone know. Thank you for sharing that with me.” He let go of my hand and I felt his calloused hands rest on either side of my face.

“I want to do something.” I nodded my head holding eye contact with him. He leaned in pulling my face closer to his, I closed my eyes as his lips gently brushed mine before he pulled my face even closer and deepened the kiss. He pulled away from me slowly I kept my eyes closed but caressed his hands gently as they laid on my jaw. “Aurora Andrews, I have loved you since you stood up to me, I felt soft and weak under your gaze,” I felt his thumb softly rub his thumb against the apple of my cheek. “I honestly hated the feeling but I found myself drawn to you, to feel your touch and to feel your gaze on my skin once again. I craved the feeling of your skin on mine, I became protective of you, I hated it when you joined and did the dance, I never wanted this life for you, I don’t even want this life for me, but if you feel the same I will work tirelessly to give you the life that you deserve.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek and Sweet Pea was quick to wipe it away. I opened my eyes and felt myself get lost in his honey coloured eyes.

“Of course I feel the same, I’m strong but I feel weak around you, I feel butterflies whenever you touch me, which is a lot by the way. I want a life with you Noah, we can get out of this together and have what we want.” I took his hands off my face and held them in my own. “I love you Noah.”

“I love you Aurora.” I pulled his face closer to mine and planted my lips on his, he pulled back slowly and rested his forehead on mine. “Be mine?” I nodded keeping my eyes closed when he pulled me impossibly closer almost sitting on his lap before kissing me passionately with his arms wrapped around my waist.

[penny4yourthot]

In the Blink of an Eye

Summary: For years, Tig believed that he would spend his life, and his money, finding love with a different woman every night - until he met Erin. She quickly stole his heart and he had never been happier, but all good things have to come to an end eventually, sometimes it's just sooner than you expect. 

Thanks to @ithoughtofthisusername for editing and @red-w00dy for just being you and helping me. 

It had been a perfectly normal morning for one of Charmings many outlaws, Tig Trager. He let out a low groan as the bright sun trickled its way into his bedroom between the cracks of the black curtains that hung over his window. He went a little too hard at the party last night, finishing half a bottle of jack and a six pack before retiring to his room with his old lady.

The familiar smell of coconut filled his nose as he opened his eyes and smiled seeing her brown hair sprawled out across his chest. He loved the way she slept with an arm lazily across his chest and her head right over his heart.

“Erin, are you awake?” he whispered lightly as he nuzzled his head into her long curly locks. He couldn't help but chuckle when he heard a small tired groan leave her lips.

“Rough night last night doll?” he asked with a laugh. Of course, he already knew that answer. He was completely and totally in love with this woman who was able to keep up with him and his clubs drinking habits. She easily downed shot after shot with him half the night. Then, once they retreated to his dorm, they stayed up another couple hours showing each other just how much they loved one another.

“Yeah, maybe a little too rough,” she replied as she looked up at him giving him a wink that drove him completely crazy. Erin sat up and wiped her tired eyes before looking back over at Tig who was staring at her.

“What?” she asked as she raised her arms over her head stretching the kink out of her back.

“Your gorgeous, I'm not allowed to stare at my old lady?”

“Not with that look you aren't, I'm sore from last night,” she chuckled as she got off the bed and started to strip her pajama shorts and panties off.

“But maybe I'll let you join me in the shower.” She winked once more at him and then laughed when she saw how quickly he shot out of bed and rushed into the bathroom behind her.

She reached into the shower before turning it on, making sure it was turned all the way hot, the way she liked it. As she waited for the water to heat up enough she grabbed her and handed Tig his. She was desperate to get the taste of stale alcohol out of her mouth and she was sure he was too.

Once she was satisfied with the minty taste in her mouth, she returned her toothbrush to its rightful place in the holder next to the sink. She turned around and slipped into the shower, letting the hot water run down the length of her body.

“Jesus Christ, how do you shower with the water so damn hot!” he yelled as he followed her into the shower.

“It’s not that hot Tiggy,” she giggled as she washed her hair.

“It feels like the water is being pumped straight out of hell,” he exclaimed as he reached for the handle to turn the water down a bit.

“Such a drama queen Tig,” she laughed as she reached for the bottle of conditioner, getting ready to put it in her hair. He grabbed the bottle gently out of her hands and poured some into his hand.

He massaged the conditioner into her hair. Knowing that she lets it sit in her hair for a few moments, he pulled her tight against him, her back touching his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

“I love you so much Erin,” he whispered in her ear. It was true, Tig had never loved anyone the way he loved this woman. She honestly wasn't his type; she didn't have blonde hair or seemingly too large breasts in proportion to the rest of her body. She was also very shy and quiet, but once he got a taste of the attitude that she hid behind the shyness, he was hooked.

“I love you too, Tiggy,” she replied as she turned her neck to place a kiss on his cheek. They stood there for a few minutes just embracing each other and, eventually, washing each other.

Tig lived for mornings like this. After being deployed overseas in the Marines for a few years, he needed this; someone to come home to and to keep him grounded when his mind would easily drift off to the things he had seen in combat.

Tig had been home for two years now and Joined SAMCRO immediately after coming back to the US, finding it hard to fit in with anyone. He found a home with the club, most of them were veterans as well, so they all knew the struggles he was having.

Tig met Erin six months into being a prospect; he was called to tow her car to the shop because it wouldn't start. From the moment he laid eyes on the helpless girl, with big green eyes at the only gas station in Charming clad in jean shorts, a red tank top and a pair of run-down converse, he knew he was in trouble.

Tig was planning on proposing to Erin. He had the ring picked out already and hidden away in his sock drawer. Today was the day he would ask her to be his wife and he couldn't wait for that moment to come. He had planned a whole day together, getting breakfast at their favorite diner, going to the lake to relax and swim, which was Erin’s favorite past time. Finally, he would take her to the same place her car broke down, where he met her, and get down on one knee, right there at the gas station, in the middle of town.

He did not care if the gas station was romantic or not; it was the place where he met the love of his life and it was the place where he was going to ask her to marry him.

A half-hour after they got out of the shower, they were ready to leave. Tig had a backpack that he stuffed Erin’s bikini and his swim trunks with a couple of towels along with the ring that he hid down in the bottom of the bag. She had no idea the plans he had for them today and he intended to keep it that way.

“Where are we going?” Erin asked as she walked out of the clubhouse, putting her sunglasses on quickly to shield her hungover eyes from the bright charming sun. She instinctively grabbed Tigs hand as he walked with her to his bike.

“You’ll see,” Tig smiled as he looked over at Erin. He loved the way her jeans hugged her curves perfectly and the way her long brown hair was draped over her shoulders and down her back like a perfect waterfall. He could not help but think he was the luckiest man in the world.

Tig handed the backpack to Erin to wear so it wouldn't be in the way when she held onto him. After they both had their helmets on they climbed on his bike and took off down the small roads of Charming.

Arriving at the diner, Tig backed his bike up to the curb and threw the kickstand up. He grabbed Erin’s hand as they walked into the diner and sat at their favorite table, the one by the window.

“Coffee?” the over-energetic waitress asked, her blonde hair pulled back in a tight bun.

“Yes, please,” Tig and Erin said at the same time. Erin couldn't help but notice the way the waitress was looking Tig up and down with a smirk, not even acknowledging her existence.

Tig noticed her roll her eyes as the waitress walked away.

“Why are you rolling your eyes?”

“She was totally checking you out, acting like I wasn't even here,” Erin joked causing Tig to laugh.

“Well that bitch ain't got shit on you, doll,”  he assured her, grabbing her hands and holding them across the table. He loved the way Erin still blushed when he complimented her even though they had been together for a year and a half.

“So your not going to tell me what we are doing today?” she asked, trying to pry the info out of Tig. She knew he was bad at keeping secrets from her.

“Nope, my lips are sealed,” he over-dramatically replied with a grin.

“Yeah but maybe mine aren't,” She winked. Erin loved teasing him in public, she knew the effect she had on him.

“What's that supposed to mean?” he asked with a shit eating grin on his face. He knew exactly what she meant but wanted to hear her say it.

Before Erin could reply, the waitress came back and set their cups of coffee in front of them and pulled the notepad out of her apron, ready to take their orders. They quickly ordered their food and both laughed when the waitress walked away. This time, Tig noticed the looks he was receiving from her and made sure hold Erin’s hands and caress her arms a bit dramatically.

“Remember the first time we came here?” Tig asked with a grin.

“How could I ever forget? I thought you were insane going to the bathroom then texting me to join you in there. In a place full of people!” She laughed, remembering it like it was yesterday.

“There weren't that many people here doll, it was two AM, just a couple of truckers,” a chuckle escaped his lips as he reminisced about that night.  

“I had only known you a few weeks, most girls would have run out the door and ditched you.”

“Well you aren't like most girls, that's why I love you. You’re so different compared to all the girls I’ve met.”

“Yeah because you're so used to blonde bimbos throwing themselves at you for riding a motorcycle,” Erin laughed. She knew it was true. A few of the crow eaters took a while to adjust to the fact that Tig was off the market when they first started dating. She had seen the multiple attempts they made to try to get with him, but he always pushed them away.

“Hey now,” he put his hands up in defense, “those girls were only after me because of my bike?” He questioned, jokingly.

“No Tiggy, I'm sure there was more they were after,” Erin elaborated.

Their food arrived quickly and they made small take as they scarfed down their food. The two of them were always hungry for greasy breakfast food the morning after drinking so much. After paying for their food, they walked out of the diner, hand in hand. They climbed on the Bike and took off towards their next destination, the lake. They had to take the highway that left Charming to get there as it was in the next town over.

Tig felt Erin put her head on his shoulder to get a better look of the road ahead of them. He looked over at her for just a second, taking in the beauty of her face.

It was when he turned his head back to look at the road that he noticed a deer darting straight in front of the bike. Tig swerved, sending his bike down in the middle of the road. It was a split second, he felt Erin’s grip being pulled away by the force of the bike hitting the road. Tig could feel blood begin to run down his arm from a bad cut.

He didn't have time to process what happened when he heard a loud scream come from the other side of the road. Tigs head shot up faster than ever as he pulled the bike off of his leg. The pain he was feeling was nothing compared to the worry he felt about her.

“Erin!” he screamed as he jumped up and hobbled as fast as he could to the other side of the road. Her leg had been run over by a car and he could see the blood spilling from her wounds. Her arms were scraped up and there was a giant gash on her forehead.

“No, God no, Erin, I'm right here,” he screamed, the tears falling down his face and onto her chest.

“Call 911,” he yelled at the lady who was getting out of the car.

Tig quickly undid his belt from his jeans and applied it on her thigh in an attempt to stop the bleeding from the injury she sustained below. He then put his hands over the gash on her head and applied pressure, his eyes scanning over the rest of her to make sure there were no more wounds.

As he scanned back up her body he couldn't tell if she was breathing or not.  Taking his hands off her head wound momentarily, he placed his, now bloody, hand on her neck checking for a pulse. His heart shattered when he couldn't feel the thump of her heartbeat. His instincts took over as he started CPR on her, counting to ten then giving her two breaths. Something he learned back when he was in the Marines.

“Please baby, d-don't leave me,” he sobbed as he continued compressing her chest.

“I love you, baby,” it was becoming harder for him to breath but he wanted her to hear him. “I need you, I was going to ask you to m-marry me tonight,” he said, his voice faltering with the tightness he felt in his chest. His arms grew tired within minutes of starting CPR, his muscles screaming for more oxygen as it became progressively harder to breathe.

He jumped when he felt an arm around him, looking up it was a paramedic. He was so concentrated on bringing Erin back that he didn't even hear the blaring sirens or see the flashing lights from the ambulance.  

“Sir, we’ve got this. Please step back,” the paramedic said as his partner kneeled down on the other side of her lifeless body. Tig could hardly hear the words that the man spoke, it wasn't until the paramedic physically took Tigs arms off Erin that he truly noticed their presence.

He sat back on the pavement and watched as the paramedics continued CPR and put a backboard under her to lift her onto the ambulance.

“There’s another rig on the way here to pick you up sir,” the paramedic's words burned like fire in Tigs mind. He stood up and hobbled over to the ambulance.

“I'm not leaving her side,” he said as he climbed on and took a seat on the bench next to Erin. He held her hand as one of the medics continued to work on her while the other one sped off to the hospital.

It only took a few minutes to arrive at their destination but, to Tig, it felt like days. He could see the color draining out of Erin's face from the blood loss. He knew the possibility of her coming back was slim, but he would not give up hope. By the time Tig hobbled out of the ambulance and into the room where the doctors continued to work on Erin, he saw the whole club standing in the hall. Unser had called them as soon as he arrived on the scene and saw who the victims of the accident were.

Tig stood there in shock as the doctors and nurses kept up the CPR and pushing medications into the IV that the paramedics inserted in the field. He never really believed in God but he was silently praying as he watched the events unfold in front of his eyes. Pleading with whatever god may exist to not take her away.

He was shaking so intensely, he could hardly stand. He knew he was covered in blood; some of Erin’s and some of his own. He also knew his leg was probably broken. None of that mattered now. He pushed away multiple nurses who tried to help him, his focus on the beautiful brunette who lay still on the table.

He thought about all the plans he had for the two of them. He thought about all the time they had spent together and the amount of love and trust they had. Then, the memory of what happened ran through his head like a movie playing right in front of his eyes. Maybe if his vision never left the road, this wouldn't have happened. Tig’s thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the words of the doctor who was in charge of running the code.

“Time of death, 11:32 am.” The words no one ever wants to hear, the ones that cut through your heart like a knife cuts through butter.

“No, No keep going! You have to save her!” Tig screamed, hardly able to keep standing as he felt a stabbing feeling in his chest.

“Mr. Trager we have done CPR for over thirty minutes, with the amount of blood loss and the trauma of hitting her head, there is nothing more we can do. I am so sorry for your loss,” the doctor replied as if it was a rehearsed statement; something they say to all the families of the lost loved ones.

“Sorry doesn't mean shit,” Tig said as he ran up to Erin and tried to continue the CPR on her.

“Mr. Trager, she was more than likely killed directly on impact, she didn't feel any pain,” the doctor said as Tig felt arms pulling him away from his attempt to revive Erin again. He turned around to see his best friend, Clay, standing there.

“She’s gone man,” he said, looking Tig directly in the eyes. The tears that spilled out of his bright blue orbs burned as they ran through the cuts down his face. He knew she was gone. He didn't want to accept it though. The doctors and nurses all left the room like they were leaving the stage at the end of the shittiest play Tig had ever seen.

“I need some time alone with her,” Tig choked out. Clay hugged him and then walked out, shutting the door behind him.

Tig pulled up a chair next to the bed where she laid lifeless in front of him. The chair next to him held the backpack that Erin had on earlier that he pried off of her back before initiating CPR. He opened the bag and reached down to the bottom, surprised to feel the box that held the ring undamaged from the accident.

He pulled the ring out and slid it on to her finger.

“I love you so much Erin, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you,” Tig could hardly get the words out over the tears, but this was something he had to do.

“I’m so happy we met. I've l-loved every minute we spent together, and I'm sorry this all happened. we should have taken a different road or your car. It should be me lying there,” he sobbed, the feeling of loss hitting every cell in his body. He looked at her face, covered in dried blood and cuts. The once rosy cheeks that he loved were now pale white and cold. He held her hand and sobbed over her chest.

He didn't know how long he laid over her but he was interrupted by the soft knock on the door from a nurse who had come to check on him. He knew it was time to let her go, the pain he felt from the accident starting to make its way up his body as his adrenaline slowly faded. He placed a soft kiss on her lips and followed the nurse out of the room.

Tig wasn't sure if this was reality or just a fucked up nightmare. He prayed that he would be waking up with Erin still in his arms. With every passing minute, he knew the possibility of this being a dream was less and less. After the nurses and doctors patched him up and cast his broken leg, he was discharged from the hospital.

He immediately retreated into his dorm room, ignoring everyone in the clubhouse. He sat on his bed and when he smelled that coconut shampoo on his pillow he lost it again. It only took a single tear to break the dam that held back all his emotions. He ran to the bathroom and hugged the toilet, vomiting.

How could he go on without the light of his life? The one who made it all okay, even when it wasn't. He grabbed a paper towel and wiped his mouth, then discarded it in the garbage bin, a pink box grabbing his attention as it lay in the bin.

It was a box that previously housed three pregnancy tests. He immediately took the bin and dumped the continents on the floor. He saw three white sticks fall out. He picked them all up and held them in his hand. The two pink lines he saw on each test hit him like two bullets to the chest.

She was pregnant. The thought of having a baby with Erin put a small smile on his face until reality came crashing back to him when he saw the scrapes and bruises on his hand from the accident. She was gone. They were gone. Tig threw the tests against the wall and pulled his hands to his face. His eyes hurt from crying but he couldn't help the tears that fell.

One minute he had everything he needed in life and, in the blink of an eye, it was all taken away from him like a cruel game that he didn’t want to play anymore. He didn't know how to live life without her and he knew he would never forget her beautiful face no matter how hard he tried to push it away.

[manmodeactivate]

Ultimate passing tips list for pre-t transguys (and some other tips too)

If you want to look like your average joe cis guy this list is for you, you dont have to try and look cis to be valid this is just for people that want to pass in public consistently. This is info I’ve gathered over the years and stuff I’ve learnt myself too so i thought i’d put them in one place. 

This stuff works for me, i pass all the time basically even if i am perceived as a younger guy that’s fine by me.

its pretty lengthy so the topics are facial hair, hair, jaw, voice, height, hips, packing, binding, swimming, working out, foods, body language, clothes and bathrooms.

•FACIAL HAIR: shave your peach fuzz coz guys don’t have peach fuzz or…

you can make it pass for male facial hair by growing it as much as you can as a moustache and shaving the rest. You could even leave a lil at the sideburns. Once you’ve done that grab a makeup powder a bit darker than your skin tone and lightly brush on the areas with hair to darken it and tada you have facial hair. You could dye it if you have some pretty good fuzz ive done that and it works a treat the video’s here. If you go for something darker than light brown you will have to wash your face a few times to get the skin stain off.

I’ve also heard coconut oil is good for facial hair growth. If you want to give that a try get a bit and slather it on wear you want the hair and massage it in for like 5 mins and leave it or sleep with it on. 

Coconut oil is a good moisturiser and can act as a shaving ‘cream’ and aftershave too. 

Also shaving to make hair grow thicker and darker is bs. When the hair starts growing back because its been cut not pluck the end of that hair follicle is flat not pointed making it appear darker and thicker.

You can ghost in the areas where facial hair would be with makeup too but it may look less natural. 

And keep eyebrows more natural just focus on the middle. You can darken them the same as your facial hair as men have darker, thicker eyebrows generally.  

•HAIR: going tight on the sides can make your head look more square therefore more masculine. 

 Also keep it messy, women generally have smooth, brushed through looking hair. Get some clay or wax or whatever works for your hair type and texture and rub it in your hands till there’s no clumps. Then work it into ALL of your hair, just go crazy. Also side parting rather than something closer to the middle for short hair looks more masculine and less i want to speak to the manager.

 Also square off that sideburny bit don’t keep it pointy. 

Body hair is good to keep too coz most guys have a crap ton of it (leg hair, armpit hair) 

•JAW: you can clench your jaw to make it more rigid and square (people keep adding not to do this for too long which is true but like common sense guys). 

Also chewing gum more often to make you jaw muscles stronger can improve your jawline.

Try out contouring if you want to (I understand if you don’t) 

•VOICE: I’ve seen some exercises online like humming as low as you can for 30 seconds a few times a day; stretching your neck; stretching your neck while humming; singing male parts in songs; speaking more slowly and controlled; speaking from your chest or abdomen. One or a combination or these might work for you just give them a try. 

•HEIGHT: there are short cis guys so don’t worry too much.

You can wear shoes with thick heels or wear inserts. I’m not sure about any other height tips as i don’t worry about my height.

•HIPS: if you have a lot of weight around your hips that isn’t bone wear mid or high rise jeans and put them over that area with a belt on so you can cinch down the fat a lil bit. This could be dangerous so don’t do it too often or too tight.

Losing some weight can help but when it comes to bone it ain’t moving.

Ty turner said boardshorts are good too because of the wide waistband so give that a try in the summer too.

•PACKING: honestly packing isn’t a passing thing most people don’t pay attention to it but you can if you want to.

A sock in your briefs or boxers is good enough but there are packers and stps (stand to pee devices) you can buy too.

Tight briefs, a harness or a diy harness is best for packing.

To make a diy harness use a waistband from some underwear and either put a hole in them for the shaft to go through or you can attach a o ring or something similar to the waistband which will last longer.

If you have just a packer like the mr limpy or pierre you can use pouches like the joey which ensure you dont lose your dick down your leg.

If you have a freetom i made a harness out of womens underwear and it works really well. Just chop a hole in the front a few inches below the waistband and tada!! 

To use an STP you just whip it out do a lil bit of a squat and put it underneath you, legs a bit spread so you dont squash the stp, point it mostly down and go. Depending on the stp this can vary and you may also have to control your flow.

I also did a review of 2 freetoms, pierre and the joey packing pouch that you can watch by clicking here. 

•BINDING: DO NOT USE ACE BANDAGES OR WRAP ANYTHING ALL THE WAY AROUND YOUR BODY. Its extremely dangerous and you could break ribs and puncture organs.

Only bind with binders from trusted brands. A few that are well known are gc2b, underworks and flavnts bareskin binder. Ive used the gc2b binder and i can definitely recommend it it is extremely comfortable and the material is great.

To avoid the moob when you put on your binder put your hand under the bottom and push them either to the side or down. If you have a smaller chest you could go up but just fiddle around till it looks the best you can get it (Yes some positions are healthier than others if it causes pain don’t do it that way obviously).

You can try kt tape but only use in small amounts. From over your nipple to your armpit with only a few pieces. This method can effect skin elasticity and cause irritation. Do not use more tape than what was just recommended as you don’t want to constrict yourself.

Also sports bras are good if you can’t buy a binder or it isn’t safe to. Wear one backwards or wear two (one forwards and one backwards) if wearing one normally doesn’t do the trick.

Layers and thick jumpers and jackets can hide your chest too.

Do not buy cheap ones on ebay.

Only bind up to 8 hours and try not to exceed that. If you have to bind for longer take regular breaks but 10 hours is the absolute max.

Don’t sleep in one either as you breath differently when you sleep and you need some time to breath if you wear it everyday.

Don’t buy one smaller than your size this can can serious problems. Your size will work very well and getting a smaller size doesn’t mean it will flatten you more. Most guys have pecs anyway so a lil bump is okay.

•SWIMMING: again boardshorts with a wide waistband are great but also rashies (bather material t-shirts basically) are good too. 

If you wear a sports bra (fowards or backwards. Probably don’t try wearing two as that would be constricting) or a bareskin binder you can wear an over sized rashie over the top to hide some curves (when it isnt clinging to your body) and also hide the binder or sports bra. 

A wetsuit with a rashie also works well. 

No one will question you wearing a rashie but if they do just say its to protect from uv rays. 

You can also try binding with kt tape/sports tape with a rashie. 

•WORKING OUT: strength/weight training your upper body can help make your shoulders look bigger and more masculine. Doing exercises regularly (a few times a week) for muscles like the triceps, biceps, chest and lats is a good start (i say a good start, you should also work out other body parts to ensure balance but the focus is on people just starting or people that dont do gym often and want a more masculine appearance).

Have lots of protein to help build muscle (exercise at the same time, just protein won’t do anything).

Also shedding some weight can help with curves as well as help get rid of a baby face.

Working out also boosts testosterone.

•FOODS: there are natural testosterone boosting and estrogen blocking foods you can try. These are some i found but there are others. They probably won’t do much but you can try them out if you want.

Some boosters are tuna, egg yolks, oysters, shellfish, garlic, coconut, beef and beans.

Some estrogen blockers are kale, cauliflower, broccoli, mushrooms, whole grains, pomegranates, grapes, olive oil, spinach, onions and citrus.

•BODY LANGUAGE: be confident. This is very important. 

Shoulders back, chest out. 

Walk with a slightly wider stance (coz most guys have some junk down there ya know so just imagine that or buy a packer to help with that) and also sitting down with your legs slightly apart (coz again junk down there). 

Try not to talk with your hands too much but if you do, do it less with your wrists and maybe more slowly and with your whole arm. 

Hands in pockets is also a masculine mannerism.

•CLOTHES: wear masculine (or androgynous) clothes that are a lil oversized. T-shirts that are wider in the torso and longer are best. Tops with a standard neck opening are better than wide neck openings too as it makes your neck look thicker. 

Rolling up sleeves is a good idea too coz if you have a big shirt the sleeves are going to look a bit funky. Sleeves that are fitted on your arms and show your mid upper arm give the illusion of bigger arms therefore more muscular arms. To tighten them and shorten them just roll them up a few times. This won’t look weird or suspicious either coz it’s a trend that’s happening anyway. 

Patterns, dark clothes and layers are good for hiding your chest and curves too. 

Muscle tank tops are good in general so wear them. 

In terms of accessories a watch is great and maybe a leather or wood bead bracelet or a plain ring. Keep it minimal. 

•BATHROOM: in and out just do what you’ve gotta do. Don’t look around and chat or whatever. 

Keep your head down if you’re worried you don’t pass enough. 

[weightlossjourneydf302-blog]

When Professionals Run Into Problems With massive weight loss, This Is What They Do

Remember any time you weighed around 300 pounds and you simply literally felt stuffed into your dresses? Zippered trousers and tailored shirts just werent your model, or closer to the reality, you couldnt come across any zippered pants that match you perfectly or shirts that didnt peep open of pop buttons! Elastic became your closest buddy! Would you remember how self-conscience you were not to bend in excess of for worry of busting out your seat? Or how in regards to the way your huge thighs would rub a lot against The within seam of the trousers, you had been happy that no-one could see you https://www.youtube.com experienced splitting substance between your legs?

These are terrible and unpleasant Reminiscences of what life was like in advance of your gastric bypass body weight-loss surgical treatment! It Practically feels just as if These memories are a complete life span at the rear of you now, doesnt it? And for individuals who have had the surgical procedure and remain Functioning towards their target body weight, those Recollections arent considerably enough away yet.

Several gastric bypass sufferers, as they trim down, do not learn how to dress in smaller sized-dimensions outfits. They discover the freedoms of loose-fitting clothes being refreshing, significantly less binding, and a lot more soothing. They often adore this recently-uncovered delight and they are proud of the best way their outfits hangs on them as opposed to wraps tightly all over their system.

These very same clients who use the unfastened garments frequently have concerns with thinking they've not lost plenty of body weight. They can say things such as, the size exhibits Ive dropped bodyweight, but when I see myself from the mirror, I continue to search so massive.

For those clients who're feeling that way, I intend to make a suggestion that just may be the simplest repair; Ive dubbed this to be my Finding Rid on the Baggies campaign.

And that i dont signify sandwich baggies either!

Dropping fat so quickly is surely an experience, to mention the the very least. We undergo lots of measurement changes each and every couple of weeks. I remember when I was losing, I used to be going to the thrift shops each individual three months to purchase extra garments to suit me until eventually the subsequent fall in size came. Not quite expensive when they are employed things. It was some thing I had to do!

Some clients haven't any clue that they are trapped in their baggies right until another person details that out to them. This should be carried out while in the kindest of how, or from the way that fits your friendship. In the event you genuinely are friends with someone that is trapped while in the baggies, then you can be blunt also to The purpose by expressing, Get from Individuals baggies! Other folks may well require a gentler tone When you are to stay good friends.

Imagine if nobody is telling you that youre trapped during the baggies? Does that indicate youre not?

NO. It probably means that they are as well afraid to show you prone to hurting your thoughts.

This is where I leap in Im heading to provide you with some clues at this time regarding how to guage whether or not you remain putting on baggy clothes unnecessarily.

You understand youre trapped from the baggies when:

Youve misplaced fifty kilos and you also havent put on the subsequent smaller garments sizing. Fifty lbs is a whole lot, and it Reveals!

The shoulder seams are nearing nearer to your elbows.

Your shirts or sweaters suit you want quick dresses.

You'll be able to get an enormous fistful of fabric and continue to not be touching your body.

Your shirt or attire in shape you like oversized maternity put on.

Your shirts have leftover stretch bumps stuck in them where you dont have bumps like that any longer.

Your toes change back and forth within your sneakers when you walk.

Your pantyhose may be pulled nearly Nearly your armpits.

You come to be tangled when you wander simply because your pant legs get knotted up between your legs.

Your fifty percent slip falls proper off of you and unto the floor.

Your tank tops have grown to be slings for that

Your sleeves flap during the wind like sails.

Your turtlenecks are actually tortoise-necks that dont even contact your neck.

Your rings are slipping off. Place them Absent until finally you may get them resized Ive found the tears of individuals whove missing their rings!

Your socks stretch over the knees.

The rump of one's pants sag reduced and appear to be harboring pockets of air.

Getting the notion now? In case you are guilty of any one of those baggie signs, I strongly urge you to definitely go to your closest retailer and purchase a scaled-down dimensions!

I am able to promise you, that if you receive out on the baggies, you'll really feel so far better about yourself, you excess weight-reduction achievements, and start to appreciate in the deeper perception exactly what the medical procedures has done to suit your needs. Its time to stop beating oneself up with unfounded criticism.

This surely WAS a tough lesson on you, wasnt it? Effectively, not less than you have a clue now and also you didnt really have to get mad at a buddy telling you! And when one day your fiend DOES show you that youre trapped within the baggies, notify them thanks and imply it by carrying dresses that flatter you.

And for the buddies who need to fall the bomb on anyone trapped inside the baggies. if youre far too shy to inform them for their facial area, mail them this information!

[the-final-world]

64 Questions I love these things 1. if you could have one superpower, what would it be that one tumblr post about Bethesda glitches 2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 1?? The dark is ok as long as you don't hear some witchy shit then it's not ok 3. The person you would never want to meet? What 4. What is your favourite word? I dunno??? Apathy comes to mind 5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? I took a test and it said I'd be a willow tree so that 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? "Why does my hair stand up like that, it looks like it has an election... Hairection" 7. What shirt are you wearing? My trademark tank top which I love 8. What do you label yourself as? ロスト コズ 9. Bright room or dark room? Dark room because the sun reflects on my screen and I can't see shit if it's bright 10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Playing danganronpa 11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? Literally none I've craved death ever since I was little 12. Who told you they loved you last? Oh 13. Your worst enemy? If I cared about keeping an enemy I'd say almost everyone but honestly having an enemy is a waste of time 14. What is your current background picture? Karamatsu 15. Do you like someone? I am incapable of romantic feelings without getting bored in two weeks 16. The last song you listened to? Afraid- the neighbourhood ️ 17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. who would you blow up? Boring 18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Boring 19. If anyone could be your servant for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? ;) 20. What is your best physical attribute? I haven't taken care of myself for months I have no attributes 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? You know damn well what I'd do Also grow a beard Beards are great 22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? I'm not talented 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Cannibals 24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Spinach feta spinach feta Idk what it's called 25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? A hundred dollars doesnt go far and idk I'd probably see if I can find the owner first It could be a little kids birthday money or something dude 26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? I'd give it to someone else tbh I wanna go to Japan and Canada and England but I want the satisfaction of knowing I worked for it 27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the beverage of your choice Iced coffee Or I could get somethin really fancy, sell it for a decent price, and use the money to buy stuff for the families in need around here? I know a few people and they could really use it! Altho I haven't talked to them since late December 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Don't hurt the fucking animals or you get the exact same treatment cunt 29. What is your favourite swear word? Fuck dude I use fuck and cunt alot? Those I guess 30. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab one inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing fire? Id panic and while deciding once I get into the house, burn alive bc Im an idiot Actually I have a secret chest with all these really treasured objects people have given me so that 31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? As much as I'd love to Ive learnt from every experience and if I were to erase them I'd be bound to make the same mistake so pass 32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has superpowers. But check out this cool fact… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Do I get to take my cats and family if so England 33. The celestial gates of beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend / family member / person / etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? I'd prolly thank the dude but I'd pass, it just seems really fucked up to bring someone back Just like cloning??? Messed up shit 34. What was your last dream about? Nightmare I'm not willing to share but I did have a dream about pizza before so 35. Are you a good… singer? No 36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Yes 37. Have you ever built a snowman? I've never even seen snow 38. What is the color of your socks? I don't have any 39. What type of music do you like? Angsty music 40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? I love both 41. What is your favorite milkshake? C h o c o l a Te thiccshake 42. What football / soccer team do you support? No 43. Do you have any birthmarks No 44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I'm a dropout dude 45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Already changed it my man 46. Are you reliable? No 47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would you ask? Wyd ho 48. Do you hold grudges? Lil old me??? Yes I can't even help it, it is ingrained 49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? No what the fuck Lobster man 50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? When I was little this girl told me a praying mantis tried to have sex w her and I had a horrible dream about it 51. Are you a good liar? I wish I was 52. How long could you go without talking? I live almost secluded and I have no physical friends Guess 53. What has been your worst haircut / style? Long hair 54. Have you ever baked your own cake? I want to say yes but this is definitely fucking slang for some shit 55. Can you do any accents other than your own? No 56. What do you like on your toast? Nutella? Jam? Idfk? 57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? I posted it not long ago 58. What would be your dream car? One that drives 59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? I just think 60. Do you believe in aliens? Who tf doesnt 61. Do you often read your horoscope? No 62. What is your favourite letter of the alphabet? Y 63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs I love dinosaurs I've always loved dinosaurs even before I could walk Dinosaurs have always been a thing w me 64. What do you think about babies? I hate them and I hatew people who shove them in my face leave me alone But that isn't an excuse to be mean to a baby or child directly tagging??? Who wants to do this tho

[phawareglobal]

Shannin Strom-Henry - phaware® interview 274

Pediatric PH Caregiver Shannin Strom-Henry discusses her daughter Zoe's congenital diaphragmatic hernia and pulmonary hypertension diagnosis. She describes how being a rabid researcher, collaborating with her PH care team and the power of parent online support is helping Zoe (11) lead as normal a life as possible.

 My name is Shannin Strom-Henry. I live on Bainbridge Island, Washington, an island just off of Seattle, and I have a daughter who will turn 11 on Monday who has pulmonary hypertension.

Zoe's story goes way back. When I was 20 weeks pregnant, I was told that she had a congenital diaphragmatic hernia, and our world sort of came to a screeching halt for a little while. That diagnosis in itself means there's a hole in the diaphragm and her stomach and intestines and spleen were up in her chest cavity, so her lungs didn't form properly. That condition has a 50% chance of survival to begin with, so we knew we were in for a long haul on that.

We ended up down in Portland instead of at Seattle Children's Hospital because the ECMO beds were all occupied at the hospital at the time. They sent us down to Portland and we spent three months in the NICU down there. And I lived down there at the Ronald McDonald House, and Jason, my husband, would commute back and forth from Seattle to down there.

That was sort of the first thing we were dealing with, but part of congenital diaphragmatic hernia is pulmonary hypertension, a lot of kids that have a CDH have pulmonary hypertension as a result of that. It was a word we heard sort of bantered about when she was little, but it was never something that was the immediate thing we were dealing with, we were more just dealing with trying to get her to survive and the day-to-day of all of that.

Her repair on her hernia was done at about a month old, and as she sort of stabilized a little bit, she was still super frail, but as she was stabilized, they started talking about her pulmonary pressures more and talking about us getting back up to Seattle since they didn't have a clinic down there to deal with pulmonary hypertension. It became sort of a thing then that that was going to be the focus, along with all of the other, getting her to eat and do all of the things that she wasn't able to do at the time.

The adjustment was pretty crazy. We went from living in the hospital down there to being transferred up to Seattle Children's Hospital, and we went from the NICU to the general floor, because I think they weren't quite sure where to put us. The nurse at the time didn't even know how to suck the stuff out of her nose, which was crazy. I was like, "Oh my gosh, give me this thing." Because they were all learning. It was very much of a shock for us to go from nine people in her room all the time to just sort of being on our own.

After that, they soon got us into the cardiology clinic at Seattle Children's, and we started focusing on those aspects of it. She was immediately started on Sildenafil, some diuretics, and some other things like that at the time. She got stabile enough to go home. We ended up going home after three months in the hospital. She was on oxygen, she was tube fed, she needed a million meds all day long. I stayed home with her. I quit working as soon as I had her, and went from working full-time to being basically a NICU mom hanging at home.

We learned as we went. It was a lot of work. Tube feeds and medicines and stuff, and three, four months, five months into it, started to realize she wasn't going to get any better very quickly. And so, that's when we started talking about doing an IV Flolan.

At nine months old, she had a central line put in and we started IV Flolan. She also had a feeding tube placed at that point in time, because we weren't getting anywhere with that either, we knew that was going to be a long haul. And lots of monitoring. I mean, I think Zoe got stronger very slowly.

She was 2 and a half when she started eating. That was sort of a crazy thing. We did a rapid ween on her and basically stopped feeding her for about two weeks to make her hungry and get her to eat, and we did all this with the cardiologist at Seattle Children's, of course. They're very progressive there, and great with some ideas that we bring to them.

This was based off of a German therapist that had done this program. The Flolan helped her a lot, it stabilized her pressures. When she first went on an IV, she was at 140 and she dropped around 85 to 90, which is where she's been ever since then with her pressures.

Our thing with Zoe was to live as normal a life as we can, but make sure quality of life is good. I would still take her out and we'd go shopping and do things, and have birthday parties, and do as much as we can with her. She was a happy little kid.

The first central line that she had, she would scratch at it like crazy to the point where she was gouging herself. We couldn't figure out how or why she was doing this for the longest time. I started doing some creative things, because I work in costuming, so I know how to sew, and I started making these basically little crop-top, bra-tops for a baby basically, that would cover her site just to try to keep them out of her fingers. I would make them in all these different patterns.

It helped a little bit, but she would still get in there. We finally found out she was allergic to the dressing and to the chlorhexidine. I don't remember how we figured that out other than maybe we stopped using it to try to let it heal or something. Since then, she hasn't had any issues with that.

She's always been very aware of her pump, but she's had it since she was nine months old, so she doesn't really know any difference. Since then, I've done other creative things with it, like right now she wears her pump in a little sock on a tank top, so it goes under all her clothes.

When she was younger, it used to be in one of those backpacks, the animal backpacks that have the leashes on them that people use. I would take those and make the pocket deeper in them, because at that time, she was on the CADD Legacy Pump, the big pump, so the pump was the size of her back at the time because she was so little.

But she just would get used to it and people got used to it. I think at first it was hard for me to see people watch her in public or look at her. There used to be a woman that would come up to me at the grocery store and be like, "Something's wrong with your kid, her face is really red." I mean, I think we've all heard these stories over the years of things, awful things people have said.

But you kind of get used to it, and Zoe has adapted really well. I think she doesn't let any of it phase her. I think we keep her pump under wraps as much as we can, more for safety than anything, but she's not phased by it. She's never been embarrassed by it.

She started preschool at three in the school district, and they have been amazing, the school district's been amazing working with us on what she needs, and having a nurse on staff, and letting us talk as little or as much about it as we want to. So, a lot of kids she goes to school with have known her since she was three, four years old, and are used to her and know her limitations, know that she's sometimes on oxygen.

Nobody thinks it's weird. They know she physically has limitations, where she knows she can't run as fast as they can or all that. But they're really good with helping her when she needs it, and she's sort of shockingly not embarrassed by it at all. We will see how that changes when she gets older, but for right now, she's pretty chill about it.

Zoe's been through a series of pumps and medicines. She started on IV Flolan, we then switched to IV Veletri when she was a couple years old, which was great and we didn't need icepacks. Then we switched to Remodulin, which was great. Eventually, we were able to get on the Crono Five Pump, which is now been discontinued, that little tiny pump, which was a game changer for us.

That probably happened when she was in fifth or sixth grade, which was really nice to have that pump not be so front and center anymore. And now she's on SubQ Remodulin, which we've been doing for about three months now, so we're figuring all that out.

Earlier this year, she had sort of like a Potts shunt procedure. She had her PDA reopened. It had been closed surgically when she was about a year and a half old, and the doctor here in Seattle was able to go back in and put a stint on the side of it, from her PDA into the descending aorta, and basically do a Potts shunt without having to go in and do open-heart surgery.

We're still sort of waiting to see what the progress that helps, or if it helps at all, but she certainly seems to have more energy from then. She's still oxygenating really well and that has been great.

I have just always been a rabid researcher of all things related to Zoe. I mean, I think it started when she was diagnosed with the congenital diaphragmatic hernia. I never knew what that was, and you just start digging into the world of the internet.

There's different ways of looking at things that are different than what the medical staff in the United States, what insurance lets you do, all that sort of thing. But there's a world of information out there, so between the PH support groups, the family support group, and going back to when Zoe was tube fed, finding this German psychologist who did this rapid ween things, there's a lot of information out there and new ways of thinking about stuff.

I'm kind of one of those people that digs in and something, I'll read it and be like, "Oh my God, that's it, that's what we have to do. This sounds like it'll work." We'll try all the ways that the doctors normally recommend and if you don't get anywhere, then there's got to be other things.

We're super fortunate, Seattle Children's Hospital and Dr. Young, her cardiologists there, they're really progressive, and they like to hear our ideas, and they love that we talk to the other parents in the groups and bring them ideas. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't, but they're always willing to hear them and potentially try them.

I think the parent groups are a life changer. I mean, we've made so much progress with Zoe because of things other people have gone through and learned on that. That probably was actually where I figured out why she was scratching and that she was allergic to chlorhexidine, because somebody had mentioned that that's what they figured out on their kid.

I think we are all our children's best advocates, and us sharing information as parents is what helps our kids, and doesn't always work for every kid, but there's some great information out there. Strength in numbers, right?

Our take with Zoe is we want her to have the best quality of life ever. We want her to be able to live life and experience life and do all the things. And so, yeah, we just did a three week trip to France. A week in Paris, and then in Strasbourg, and Loire Valley, and Normandy. It was a trip Zoe's been talking about for a couple years, she wanted to go see the Eiffel Tower.

Jason and I, my husband and I, we both used to travel a ton for work, and we haven't really done any since Zoe was born other than going to the conference and the Make a Wish trip for her. And so, one day we were like, "Well, let's see if we can do it." We started by talking to the cardiologist, and when we started talking about it, Zoe wasn't quite stable enough and they weren't ready for it. But about a year and a half ago, they were like, "Yeah, I think she's up for it now."

We started planning it, and it took a lot of work going into it, a lot of conversations with the cardiologist. Again, they're amazing and did all the paperwork for us. You need a letter to fly, and oxygen, and med orders, and all of that stuff, and they helped a lot of with that. Took a lot of planning on our part because France wasn't going to be as ADA accessible as the states are. Zoe's in a wheelchair for long distances. She can walk and do stuff, but she, like many PH kids, gets winded when she walks a long ways.

We knew we were going to have to haul a lot of stuff, and that took a lot planning, but it was worth it. I talked to other parents who had traveled internationally. Another PH mom who's a dear friend who we met down in Houston, her husband was from France, and so they had lived there for a while and she gave me the name of the cardiologist there, and the PH specialist, and so I even had all this hospital information when I went over there, which was really amazing, which luckily we never needed.

We just try to do all the things with Zoe. We don't say no to her. If she wants to do something, we let her do it. She takes hip-hop class, she takes ballet class, and she's learning to ride a bike and do all the stuff, and I just think those are the memories we want her to have, is to do whatever she can. She's a good self-advocator. She knows when to stop if she needs to. And other than that, she'll jump in and do something with gusto, and I think it's amazing.

My name is Shannin Strom-Henry and I'm aware that I'm rare.

Learn more about pulmonary hypertension trials at www.phaware.global/clinicaltrials. Never miss an episode with the phaware® podcast app. Follow us @phaware on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube & Linkedin Engage for a cure: www.phaware.global/donate #phaware #ClinicalTrials @antidote_me 

Listen and View more on the official phaware™ podcast site

[alienvirals]

Alien: Covenants Katherine Waterston: We live in hypersexualised yet totally prudish times

The actor following in the footsteps of Sigourney Weaver has been dubbed the new Ripley

Ripley, the indomitable action hero played by Sigourney Weaver in the Alien series, may have hung up her flamethrower for good, but the franchises latest prequel, Alien: Covenant, features a convincing replacement in the form of tough cookie Daniels, played by Katherine Waterston. The 37-year-old actor got her breakthrough role as the enigmatic Shasta Fay in Paul Thomas Andersons fuzzy comic thriller Inherent Vice and was last seen sporting a cloche hat and brandishing a wand as Tina in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

In person, she cuts a jaunty, unassuming figure. She saunters into the room in white trainers and navy trousers, red socks visible in the gap between them: a black tank-top partially conceals a white T-shirt. She is tomboyish and tall, like Ally Sheedy on stilts, so that when she folds her long legs under her chair, she looks exaggeratedly S-shaped. Dealing with the weight of expectation from Alien fans hasnt been too intense, she says, nibbling on a pain aux raisins. The way I looked at it with this and Fantastic Beasts was that it was like being recruited on to a sports team. Theres a devotion from these fans who are just excited for the next game. They arent sat there thinking: Youd better not let me down, Waterston!

Alien: Covenant trailer: Ridley Scott returns with sci-fi thriller

Rumours suggested that Daniels would be Ripleys mother and, whatever the truth, there are resemblances. Both are rational women transformed by circumstance into gun-toting warriors. Both are shown at some point in singlets, or clomping around in magnetic boots, and each has a problematic relationship with a synthetic colleague. The only shortfall comes in the area of the catchphrase, where Danielss multiple efforts (including I got you, you son-of-a-bitch and Lets kill this fucker!) are no match for Ripleys emphatic: Get away from her, you bitch!

Most strikingly, the first note Waterston has to play in the new film is outright panic when technical problems wake her prematurely from hypersleep. The second is grief. Its like slamming on the brakes before anyone has the chance to buckle their seat belts. I didnt know how I would play it or how I could get there, but thats always the most appealing thing to me. The insecurity is exciting. Maybe Im also curious about testing my ability. She widens her eyes. Seeing if its still there.

Although Daniels is treading in Ripleys footsteps, or, given that Covenant is set 20-odd years before Alien, forging the path that Ripley will follow, Waterston didnt talk to Weaver about the part. But the two women have a distant connection. When Waterston was starting out as an actor, she got her first lead role in a play at The Flea, a New York theatre co-founded by Weavers husband, Jim Simpson. Sigourney came to see it and said something like: You were good. Nothing extraordinary. But when someone like her says that, you hang on to it for years. When I got this job, I thought immediately of that moment.

Waterston is big on the idea of all actors as an extended clan, perhaps unsurprisingly for someone whose siblings are in the business, and whose father is Sam Waterston, the veteran from The Killing Fields, Crimes and Misdemeanors and the TV hit Law and Order. Her mother is the former model Lynn Louisa Woodruff. Acting is a community where you come in and out of each others lives. Im slightly envious of the golden age of Hollywood. It must have been frustrating to be owned by the studio, but it was also like being in a company, working with the same people, and that appeals to me.

Working On Alien: Covenant, she was reunited with Carmen Ejogo (Fantastic Beasts) and Michael Fassbender, with whom she shared some fraught scenes in Steve Jobs, as well as her old chum Billy Crudup. At one point during our conversation, she leaps up and yanks open the door in response to voices outside. Billy Crudup, will you shut the fuck up? she hollers down the hallway. Im trying to focus!

Crudup sidles into view. What you doing for dinner tonight, he purrs. You want to join us? Me and Danny McBride? You should be so lucky! What larks. Of course, its entirely possible that she could have put on a more vivid display of her need to cultivate actorly intimacy than bounding out of the room to accost a colleague. Possible, yes, but not likely.

She first saw Crudup when she was 15 in a Broadway production of Tom Stoppards Arcadia, which she now credits with confirming in her mind her acting ambitions. It was the thing that clicked me over to that next level of curiosity. Clicked? You know when youre going up at the start of the rollercoaster and its going click-click-click towards the summit? Id had the initial idea of wanting to act but I didnt know how I could do it.

Even though her dad is an actor? I know! Isnt that weird? On a rollercoaster, theres an inevitability about whats going to happen next.

Did acting feel that way? Yes. Even though I wasnt sure how it would come about, I knew it would.

Determined to distinguish herself from her family, she eschewed performing as a teenager. Didnt appear in so much as a school play. Photography was her bag. I loved the darkroom. Its a good place for an angsty teenager. Her favourite picture is one she took while visiting her father on location in Dublin. Its of this drunk gambler at the racetrack, totally loaded, who had climbed into a tree to get a better view of the horses. She smiles sadly. I cant imagine having the guts to do that now. I wonder sometimes if Ive got in the habit of only being courageous when someone else has written the words I have to say.

Inherent Vice trailer: watch Joaquin Phoenix in the first look at Paul Thomas Andersons Thomas Pynchon adaptation

No one who gave the sort of performance that Waterston did in Inherent Vice should be in any hurry to sell herself short. Shasta Fay appears in only a couple of scenes but her presence permeates the film; she is the personification of its riddles. Attention at the time focused disproportionately on one scene in which Waterston lies naked across the lap of her ex-lover, played by Joaquin Phoenix, and invites him to spank her. One journalist asked if Joaquin left red marks on my butt, she recalls incredulously. I wish Id said: I dont remember but Ill tell you what bend over and Ill spank you as hard as I can and well see what happens.

We live in such hypersexualised yet totally prudish times. People have this expectation about everyone elses relationship to their own bodies. Surely you must have shame about your body? Surely whats scariest for you as actor would be to stand in a room naked? Believe me, Ive been in so many more terrifying situations as a performer than that. This was working with people I trusted in a scene that was rich and complex and there was so much to do there that I hardly even thought about that thing that seems to be all everyone could talk about. Theyre just hoping Ill say: Oh, I was so scared that day and then I drank a few shots of whisky and I felt better. She gives a mighty roll of the eyes.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them trailer: Eddie Redmayne in Harry Potter spinoff video

After Inherent Vice wrapped, she was convinced she would become known as the first actor to be bad in an Anderson movie. That period between finishing the film and opening night is agonising. Thats part of why actors go from job to job so they dont have to live with the anxiety in the interim.

As if to prove that, she has already shot another three pictures since Alien: Covenant, including Steven Soderberghs Logan Lucky opposite Channing Tatum, and is about to start Fantastic Beasts 2.

Having likened acting to a sports team and a rollercoaster, she saves her most conflicted analogy for last. Ive heard this is how cults brainwash people, she says. You wake up and you go to conferences that go on all day and then youre so exhausted that you sleep, and then you get up and do it again the next day. Thats what its like making movies. Youre up before dawn, you collapse at night and then you do it all over again until theres no room for anything else in your brain.

Alien: Covenant is released in Australia today, in the UK on 12 May, and the US on 19 May.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

The post Alien: Covenants Katherine Waterston: We live in hypersexualised yet totally prudish times appeared first on AlienVirals.com - Latest Alien & UFO News.

from AlienVirals.com – Latest Alien & UFO News http://www.alienvirals.com/alien-covenants-katherine-waterston-we-live-in-hypersexualised-yet-totally-prudish-times-2/

[alienvirals]

Alien: Covenants Katherine Waterston: We live in hypersexualised yet totally prudish times

The actor following in the footsteps of Sigourney Weaver has been dubbed the new Ripley

Ripley, the indomitable action hero played by Sigourney Weaver in the Alien series, may have hung up her flamethrower for good, but the franchises latest prequel, Alien: Covenant, features a convincing replacement in the form of tough cookie Daniels, played by Katherine Waterston. The 37-year-old actor got her breakthrough role as the enigmatic Shasta Fay in Paul Thomas Andersons fuzzy comic thriller Inherent Vice and was last seen sporting a cloche hat and brandishing a wand as Tina in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

In person, she cuts a jaunty, unassuming figure. She saunters into the room in white trainers and navy trousers, red socks visible in the gap between them: a black tank-top partially conceals a white T-shirt. She is tomboyish and tall, like Ally Sheedy on stilts, so that when she folds her long legs under her chair, she looks exaggeratedly S-shaped. Dealing with the weight of expectation from Alien fans hasnt been too intense, she says, nibbling on a pain aux raisins. The way I looked at it with this and Fantastic Beasts was that it was like being recruited on to a sports team. Theres a devotion from these fans who are just excited for the next game. They arent sat there thinking: Youd better not let me down, Waterston!

Alien: Covenant trailer: Ridley Scott returns with sci-fi thriller

Rumours suggested that Daniels would be Ripleys mother and, whatever the truth, there are resemblances. Both are rational women transformed by circumstance into gun-toting warriors. Both are shown at some point in singlets, or clomping around in magnetic boots, and each has a problematic relationship with a synthetic colleague. The only shortfall comes in the area of the catchphrase, where Danielss multiple efforts (including I got you, you son-of-a-bitch and Lets kill this fucker!) are no match for Ripleys emphatic: Get away from her, you bitch!

Most strikingly, the first note Waterston has to play in the new film is outright panic when technical problems wake her prematurely from hypersleep. The second is grief. Its like slamming on the brakes before anyone has the chance to buckle their seat belts. I didnt know how I would play it or how I could get there, but thats always the most appealing thing to me. The insecurity is exciting. Maybe Im also curious about testing my ability. She widens her eyes. Seeing if its still there.

Although Daniels is treading in Ripleys footsteps, or, given that Covenant is set 20-odd years before Alien, forging the path that Ripley will follow, Waterston didnt talk to Weaver about the part. But the two women have a distant connection. When Waterston was starting out as an actor, she got her first lead role in a play at The Flea, a New York theatre co-founded by Weavers husband, Jim Simpson. Sigourney came to see it and said something like: You were good. Nothing extraordinary. But when someone like her says that, you hang on to it for years. When I got this job, I thought immediately of that moment.

Waterston is big on the idea of all actors as an extended clan, perhaps unsurprisingly for someone whose siblings are in the business, and whose father is Sam Waterston, the veteran from The Killing Fields, Crimes and Misdemeanors and the TV hit Law and Order. Her mother is the former model Lynn Louisa Woodruff. Acting is a community where you come in and out of each others lives. Im slightly envious of the golden age of Hollywood. It must have been frustrating to be owned by the studio, but it was also like being in a company, working with the same people, and that appeals to me.

Working On Alien: Covenant, she was reunited with Carmen Ejogo (Fantastic Beasts) and Michael Fassbender, with whom she shared some fraught scenes in Steve Jobs, as well as her old chum Billy Crudup. At one point during our conversation, she leaps up and yanks open the door in response to voices outside. Billy Crudup, will you shut the fuck up? she hollers down the hallway. Im trying to focus!

Crudup sidles into view. What you doing for dinner tonight, he purrs. You want to join us? Me and Danny McBride? You should be so lucky! What larks. Of course, its entirely possible that she could have put on a more vivid display of her need to cultivate actorly intimacy than bounding out of the room to accost a colleague. Possible, yes, but not likely.

She first saw Crudup when she was 15 in a Broadway production of Tom Stoppards Arcadia, which she now credits with confirming in her mind her acting ambitions. It was the thing that clicked me over to that next level of curiosity. Clicked? You know when youre going up at the start of the rollercoaster and its going click-click-click towards the summit? Id had the initial idea of wanting to act but I didnt know how I could do it.

Even though her dad is an actor? I know! Isnt that weird? On a rollercoaster, theres an inevitability about whats going to happen next.

Did acting feel that way? Yes. Even though I wasnt sure how it would come about, I knew it would.

Determined to distinguish herself from her family, she eschewed performing as a teenager. Didnt appear in so much as a school play. Photography was her bag. I loved the darkroom. Its a good place for an angsty teenager. Her favourite picture is one she took while visiting her father on location in Dublin. Its of this drunk gambler at the racetrack, totally loaded, who had climbed into a tree to get a better view of the horses. She smiles sadly. I cant imagine having the guts to do that now. I wonder sometimes if Ive got in the habit of only being courageous when someone else has written the words I have to say.

Inherent Vice trailer: watch Joaquin Phoenix in the first look at Paul Thomas Andersons Thomas Pynchon adaptation

No one who gave the sort of performance that Waterston did in Inherent Vice should be in any hurry to sell herself short. Shasta Fay appears in only a couple of scenes but her presence permeates the film; she is the personification of its riddles. Attention at the time focused disproportionately on one scene in which Waterston lies naked across the lap of her ex-lover, played by Joaquin Phoenix, and invites him to spank her. One journalist asked if Joaquin left red marks on my butt, she recalls incredulously. I wish Id said: I dont remember but Ill tell you what bend over and Ill spank you as hard as I can and well see what happens.

We live in such hypersexualised yet totally prudish times. People have this expectation about everyone elses relationship to their own bodies. Surely you must have shame about your body? Surely whats scariest for you as actor would be to stand in a room naked? Believe me, Ive been in so many more terrifying situations as a performer than that. This was working with people I trusted in a scene that was rich and complex and there was so much to do there that I hardly even thought about that thing that seems to be all everyone could talk about. Theyre just hoping Ill say: Oh, I was so scared that day and then I drank a few shots of whisky and I felt better. She gives a mighty roll of the eyes.

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After Inherent Vice wrapped, she was convinced she would become known as the first actor to be bad in an Anderson movie. That period between finishing the film and opening night is agonising. Thats part of why actors go from job to job so they dont have to live with the anxiety in the interim.

As if to prove that, she has already shot another three pictures since Alien: Covenant, including Steven Soderberghs Logan Lucky opposite Channing Tatum, and is about to start Fantastic Beasts 2.

Having likened acting to a sports team and a rollercoaster, she saves her most conflicted analogy for last. Ive heard this is how cults brainwash people, she says. You wake up and you go to conferences that go on all day and then youre so exhausted that you sleep, and then you get up and do it again the next day. Thats what its like making movies. Youre up before dawn, you collapse at night and then you do it all over again until theres no room for anything else in your brain.

Alien: Covenant is released in Australia today, in the UK on 12 May, and the US on 19 May.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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