#but then as i read further i finally realised that their relationship is actually of a different kind and oopsieee that was weird

[kivrumi]

GEEK! SATORU GOJO / FEM! READER ᗢ𓄹 ׅ ࣪ ˖ ⊹

⚠️ WARNINGS: no actual smut in part 2 mb... (part 3 defo tho) masturbation beside you, you catch him, dirty fantasies and thoughts, pervert behaviour, panty stealing, down bad Satoru, submissive Gojo, NSFW, virgin Gojo who is severely downbad for reader. so so so FLUFFY

A little bit of Geto/Sukuna x reader

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

geek!gojo who is staring at your Instagram. Is it appropriate to follow you after one conversation with you? He stalks your social media daily anyways, what difference does it make? Nevermind, Gojo is too much of a pussy to make that kind of move.

geek!gojo who gets little "hi"s and waves from you now. Your friends have become salty realising your small friendship with the white haired man, it only fuels Gojo to be more cocky (in his head).

Listen, geek!gojo is very attractive. Everyone knows it! People that have never heard of him approach him for his good looks, but immediately back down when he starts yapping about the most irrelevant shit. No one could handle him, to that point they didn't even want him if it came with dealing with that bullshit.

geek!gojo who thought he would never find someone to match his freak... until you guys first talked.

geek!gojo who has already made a playlist for you. Songs he found out you like and songs he likes merged in one, this playlist is NOT for you to see. Its just what he listens to in order to fall asleep every night.

geek!gojo who wonders why Suguru has been more dry and avoidant lately, ever since Gojo told him about his relationship development with you. Oh well, it's probably nothing!

geek!gojo who still can't find himself to go up to you. So, you were the first to strike up a conversation. You are... inviting him to a party?

geek!gojo who has never been to a party. The most social event in his life is his weekly club where all the other geeks join (there are only two others)

geek!gojo who accepts your invite immediately, he would be a fool to say no.

geek!gojo who is taking forever to decide on what to wear for the day.

Then the day of the party finally arrives...

"Gojo hey, where you going?" you ask as you eye his... intresting pick of attire. Gojo notices how your outfit is way more casual, tank top, skirt and god those thigh highs. Your tank top was enchanting your breasts, he just wanted to throw his head in them to avoid having to see people glace at his stupid idea of clothing.

geek!gojo who wore a suit to a frat party.

Is this not what people wore to parties? Oh my god he is so embarrassed right now, he is definitely about to leave. Walking out, he bumps into you!

"Oh nowhere uh" He replies, scratching the back of his head, sweating.

"Good, come on" then you wrapped your arm around his arm to drag him further into the party, causing his blush to openly show on his face. "I like your suit Gojo, if i knew you would dress classy i would've worn a nice dress to go along with it".

geek!gojo who cant handle the mere thought of you actively trying to match with him. I mean, you could always match classy attire after this, perhaps at a restaurant with just the two of you.

you who got dragged away by your lame friends about seven minutes in on you and Gojo just discussing about random media topics.

geek!gojo who is all alone at this party now.

geek!gojo who invited Geto over text, just to get left on read.

geek!gojo who has been wandering around the place for about half an hour now, and he finally sees you.

you who was on Sukunas lap. Fuck, the rumours were right?

he had the urge to just drink to get drunk but Gojo just doesn't drink at all, he liked imagining it tho.

geek!gojo who explores the house deeper, this was your house, right?

nevermind, there is a portrait of Toji by one of the beds. Toji is just another nuisance part of your friendgroup.

geek!gojo who just sits on the floor of a random guest bedroom and curls up into himself. He is alone at a big party but doesnt have the strength to leave when your pretty self personally invited him.

geek!gojo who falls asleep on the floor, only to be waken up by your tiny hand resting on his forehead.

"Gojo, you okay?" he hears you ask as his eyes slowly flutter open. You were checking his temperature, was he feeling unwell.

geek!gojo who is heating up at the idea of you caring for him and taking your time to see if he feels alright. Him heating up just makes you more suspicious of a fever.

geek!gojo mumbles under his breath.

"You're so perfect" but of course you couldn't catch what he said. You just started sitting by him, staring out to he distance with him.

geek!gojo who didn't realise how tired he was till your shoulder was right by his, now his head slowly leaning onto you, fighting himself to stay awake.

He falls asleep again on your shoulder.

geek!gojo who has no idea what time it is, but he is at the back of a cab now? Next to... you?

"Oh you're finally awake Gojo," You said glancing at him, Gojo looked around and then to his Pikachu watch.

4:32 a.m.

The driver said something about it being your stop. Did you take him to your house? Gojo who questions why he was at your house when you both left the car.

"Huh? I asked you Gojo, i woke you up and said we needed to get a cab then you kept begging not to be left alone. Then i asked if you wanted to just stay over mine and well you seemed to really want that"

of course he had to be an idiot half(?) sleep walking.

"You change your mind?" You ask, obviously not wanting Gojo to be uncomfortable in your home.

"No no i uh dont want to be alone tonight aha..m as i said... uhh call me Satoru, by the way," he quickly added nervously, he didn't like how you always called him Gojo.

geek!satoru who is now awkwardly sitting on your couch, being persistent about sleeping there and not on your bed with you. He would definitely get a boner just by being in your room. God even this couch smells like you, his pants already feel stiff.

"Okay well if you find it uncomfortable don't be shy to hop in my bed, its big enough for the two of us"

geek!satoru who is soooo uncomfortable on this couch. Was it genuinely made out of rock? Soon as you let him into your heart he will take you couch shopping, prices are on him.

geek!satoru who gets bored because he seriously can't sleep. He looks around your living room, it seems like you alone, do you have a job thats currently making you able to afford it?

geek!satoru who ends up snooping around everywhere. When he gets to the bathroom he is amazed by the scents of shampoo and just the idea you've been naked in here many of times. Yes, he got hard from that mere thought.

geek!satoru who spotted... your panties... right ontop of the laundry basket.

geek!satoru who didn't think twice, although his mind keeps cussing him telling him to stop, before grabbing your panties and unbuckling his belt.

geek!satoru who is leaning on the door, panties on his dick, imagining you were right beside him jacking him off saying sweet evil words in his ear. His moans had to be kept to himself, he only let out shaky breaths or a quiet 'please'. He doesn't know if he should edge himself or overstimulate himself, what would you do to him? He needs to do this accurately...

geek!satoru who has already came twice in your panties. No use washing them now, he might aswell pocket them.

geek!satoru who leaves the bathroom only to be surprised by your face out of nowhere. It was honestly life threatening how beautiful you look extremely tired, messy hair, confused face, baggy shirt and PJ shorts.

"Satoru you're still awake?" You look up and down at him and let out an 'oh'. Oh shit, Was what he did obvious?? "I'm so sorry Satoru i forgot you were wearing a suit... come let me find you something better," And with that you grabbed his trembling hand and took him to your bedroom.

...

YOUR bedroom.

geek!satoru who is at the edge of your bed as you rummage through your wardrobe. He is looking around your room, seeing all of your special intrests displayed in posters, figurines and random other stuff. As much as he was intrested in your room he honestly did this to distract himself from you bending over in your shorts finding him clothes.

"Sometimes i buy oversized shirts so that will do, not sure about bottoms tho," You say as you throw an oversides shirt to him, he immediately strips himself from his suit and tie.

geek!satoru who can't see your wondering eyes as you strip, he wouldn't even dare to think you have intrest in him despite him knowing of his own good looks.

but damn your eyes are glued to his toned chest before he covers himself. Damn you needed more than that.

"Oh look at that i found some oversized PJs that my friend left over!" Now just who was that friend? An ex? Someone you were intrested in or that friend took intrest in you? Satoru didn't want those nasty PJs but you were offering who was he to deny. He would rather die than deny your attempt to help.

You look away as he strips the rest of his clothes, and once he changed into the PJs you looked over toward him. Is it weird you like him in your shirt, although its a bit too tight for him due to his toned chest. You wouldn't mind him topless too.

geek!satoru who does not want to go back to the couch aka hell. But he is to shy to ask to sleep beside you. Luckily, you feel the same way.

"Satoru please take the bed, ill take the couch dont worry"

"N-no- it's fine ill uhm. I don't mind.. sharing the bed now" Why was that so hard to say.

Satoru has found himself tucked under your sheets now, your side still empty as your walking around your room doing god knows what.

Finally, you go to rest right beside him, both of you sharing one blanket.

6:13 a.m.

geek!satoru can't sleep now due to you being right beside him. He tries blocking out his perverted thoughts but how can he help it when he can feel the warmth of your body, the scent of your hair, him being drowned in your bed and shirt.

It seemed like you was asleep, would it be okay to... touch himself quietly?

To be honest that's just how he tries sleeping every night, it works the best.

geek!satoru slowly slid down the PJs and palmed himself through his digimon boxers with a light grunt. He had to stay quiet, you was sleeping so soundly beside him, he wouldn't want you to waste any sleep.

He peeled his boxers off his hand immediately reached for his pink strained dick, he couldn't stop moving his hand up and down, his hips buckled into his fist as his teeth gripped his lips harshly. His other hand reached for the bed, his tip kept sliding against the blanket on top of him, leaving a sticky patch. The pleasure was overwhelming, and the force to stay quiet was too difficult. He quietly whispered your name as his thumb moved towards his tip, he keeps trying to imagine what you would do to him, how would you jerk him off?

geek!satoru got a bit careless, his thrusts got harsher and his moans got louder. He whined at how good he felt, and your name seemed to never leave his tongue.

"Satoru?"

With his name being uttered by your pretty lips he felt his high, his body shook from pleasure and his breathing hitched. He let out a needy whimper, stroking himself to finish off properly. But now his high was done, he realised not only did he stain your sheets, you watched it happen.

He slowly looks over to you, you couldn't see his dick as he was still under the sheets but the way he was acting, thrusting and moaning it was definitely obvious what he was doing. He made it very obvious he was getting off to you too with the amount of times he called your name.

You was a bit quiet, you seemed to be thinking about what exactly to say or to do to handle this situation.

What the fuck. Maybe you were nastier than him.

"Want me to help you.. Toru...?"

.

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

note: i know i said smut in part 2 but i didnt want to rush it too much i apologise. IF YOU WERE TAGGED IN THIS YOU WILL BE TAGGED FOR ANY OTHER PARTS.

@kivrumi do not steal / copy / reword / translate my work

taglist: @kazupop @vamqyx @ceylestia @cursedforlife @ratedrrrr @dr3amingc0rpse @sukunadckrider @sukunaspillow @s4ikooo1

[sttoru]

·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. staying at your boyfriend’s house for the first time is nerve wracking. though luckily satoru understands your situation all too well.

wc. around 870

tags. older bf!gojo satoru x female reader. fluff, teeny tiny bit suggestive implications. reader is implied to be a virgin + has no experience dating. satoru being a gentleman hehe. nicknames used ‘sugar, sweetheart’. not beta read.

“are you sure?” you ask your lover who’s making himself comfortable on the couch. satoru sits down and gives you a reassuring smile. he adjusts the blue blanket he’s covering himself with before responding.

“mhm. a hundred percent,” he nods and reaches for your hand. his thumb brushes over your knuckles in a soothing manner. his blue eyes glow with the purest form of love—pure unadulterated love for you.

it’s your first time staying over at your boyfriend’s. it’s nerve wracking for some reason. maybe because you have all kinds of ideas running through your head about how your night could possibly go.

the thought about possible intimacy is scary, because you’re not sure if you’re actually prepared. you had set your mind to it on your way to his house; you will be ready if satoru asks to take things further. for his sake. .

but, when the time had come, nothing happened. you expected at least something to happen. he’s kissed you as per usual, however more than that has not occurred. perhaps it’s your own fault for trying to predict what will happen.

though how can you not? you assumed that if a boyfriend and girlfriend spend the night together, they’ll surely do something more. at least you think that’s what happens most of the time. with other couples that is.

you should’ve known by now that satoru doesn’t compare to other men. especially not to the college boys your age—who only want to hit and move on. satoru is serious about your relationship. committed.

“what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, sugar?” satoru’s smooth voice interrupts your thoughts. you clear your throat and shake your head, dismissing your own tendencies to overthink every little thing.

his big hands cover both of yours completely. they’re warm. nice to hold. the older man lifts your hands up to his lips and kisses your palms. you sigh and finally relax after what feels like hours, “nothing, ‘toru.”

nothing, you say. little did you know that satoru has long noticed what’s wrong. you’re easy to read—your body language reveals every little thing you’re feeling.

you subconsciously had your fists clenched at your sides the second you stepped into his apartment. you’ve been avoiding eye contact more than usual and you keep nibbling on your bottom lip. those were all the signs he needed.

satoru knows you well enough to realise that you’re overly nervous. he understands why. it’s your first time staying overnight at a man’s house—your boyfriend’s house.

satoru’s sure you’re thinking that he’ll ask you to sleep with him. it’s obvious. each time he kisses you, you tense up. you normally get flustered, though today you’re more than just nervous.

he doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable. he doesn’t want you to think that he’ll do anything you’re not ready for. the last thing satoru would do is take advantage of this precious moment. of his precious girl.

it’s also why he suggested to sleep on the couch. he figured that you’ll be less nervous if you have the bed to yourself. all he wants is for you to relax around him.

“may i?” satoru whispers. his warm breath caresses your hands and you instantly give your consent to whatever he wishes to do. the older man thanks you quietly before putting his forehead against yours.

you look into each other’s eyes and you’re once again stunned by the beauty of his blue orbs. satoru brushes his knuckles over your cheek, adoring just how adorable you look from up close, “it’s okay, yeah? i won’t ask you to do anything. i promise.”

you blink. it’s only then that the realisation dawns upon you. no wonder satoru has immediately noticed your nervous demeanour. he’s always so perceptive of how you feel. it’s quite heartwarming.

those comforting words are all you need. you smile brightly and hug satoru out of reflex. you hear a giggle escape his lips before he returns the gesture. his strong arms wrap around your form and he squeezes you to his chest.

“aww, there’s my baby,” satoru coos. he’s happy that he’s finally succeeded at calming you down. he’s also happy that he got your usual self back. he tenderly kisses the top of your head.

you lift your head up to get some air. satoru’s tight embrace and familiar scent nearly suffocated you—not that you would mind going out like that. you kiss his cheek, “thank you for being so. . err, patient and understanding.”

your boyfriend shakes his head with a soft smile playing across his lips. satoru leaves a trail of ticklish pecks down your face until he reaches your lips. after waiting for your usual sign - a faint nod - he captures them in a gentle kiss.

he pulls away after a few seconds, though stays close to your face. you’re filled with an incredible feeling of warmth because of satoru’s obvious adoration for you. pure content.

he lets out a breathy laugh at your cute, flustered expression. he pulls you in for a hug again and presses your head against his chest, “heh, no, i should thank you for trusting me. i love you s’much.”

[little-diable]

There's just something about you – Professor!Austin Butler (smut)

Well well well, ofc I {as somebody who has a massive prof!crush} had to give in and write this. I think this has potential for a part 2, so please tell me how you feel about that. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: The reader works as Professor Butler's teaching assistant. The two are about to take a trip with his class when she gets sick. While staying with him for the weekend the two finally give in to the pull keeping them chained together.

Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, oral (f), professor x TA relationship, quite fluffy

Pairing: prof!Austin Butler x fem!TA!reader (3k words)

picture credit to the original owner

“Alright, listen up!“ Professor Butler’s voice echoed through the room. His words were followed by instant silence, forcing all eyes towards the handsome professor. She stood close to him, not enough to feel his body heat clashing against her, though just enough to hyperfocus on the scent of his expensive cologne – a scent she’d always pick up on, no matter where she was at.

“As you all know, we’re leaving for our trip next week. (Y/n) was kind enough to take over the bookings, but we need you to find one or two people to share a room with. Please send (y/n) an email til Monday, so we can avoid any confusion when we check in. If you have any further questions about the trip or concerns, feel free to reach out to one of us.”

She had joined the faculty as Professor Butler’s PhD candidate and teaching assistant a while ago, slowly having to adjust to being around a man like him. At first, (y/n) had struggled to focus, fighting against the urge to stare at him at any given chance, but slowly she had gotten more and more relaxed around him, actually getting to enjoy her interactions with the young professor. 

“Please don’t forget your homework, alright? I’ll see you all next week.” The room was filled with loud noises as he ended the class, forcing the students to their feet and out into the hallway. (Y/n) busied herself with his notes, rechecking them before she allowed her gaze to find his bright eyes. “You did good today, (y/n), if you feel comfortable enough you can gladly do next week’s class on your own.” 

“I don’t think I feel ready to do this without you yet.” His big hand found her shoulder, leaving her torn between focusing on the feeling of his thumb softly stroking the fabric of her blouse, and the intense eye contact he now held with her. For a second, neither of them spoke, leaving (y/n) to wonder what he was thinking about. 

“Alright, but you’re by far better than me at catching their attention, I hope one day you’ll realise that.” Professor Butler’s raspy chuckle had an addicting effect to it, leaving her to avert her gaze as he took a step away from her. “Chinese takeout while we grade the essays?” 

……

She woke with a pained whine as her hand reached for her phone, trying to read the time. It was Saturday morning, two days before they’d go on their short trip, but her body was clearly fighting against all plans, making her suffer from a sore throat and a blocked nose. Curses wanted to claw through her, cursing fate for pushing her into her misery. 

(Y/n) had been looking forward to the trip for a while, excited about spending some more time with Professor Butler outside of his office and the room he was teaching in. Secretly she had hoped for some more calmer moments where they could go back to sharing information about one another that had nothing to do with their research or their university work. Hopes that were now evaporating into nothing but cold air. 

For a moment, (y/n) pondered over her choices, but her fingers had already started to move before her mind could protest, opening the email app. With a few quick words she sent her professor a small warning, telling him that she was sick and would most likely not be able to join on Monday. She felt pathetic for the wave of hurt and exhaustion flushing through her, leaving her trembling body to search the warmth of her bed. 

It didn’t take long for her phone to go off, forcing her glassy eyes to read his reply. Simple words told her to give him a call with his added number to the email. Perhaps it was the fault of her cold, perhaps it was the fault of her hazy thoughts, whatever it was, it stopped (y/n) from overthinking, clicking on the number before her anxiety could get the best of her. 

“Morning, (y/n).” His raspy voice shot shudders down her spine, momentarily letting her eyes flutter close. She repeated the greeting while internally cringing at the raspy sound of her voice. “Oh sweetheart, you sound horrible.”

Heat rose to her face at the pet name, having to forcefully stop herself from gasping. She could only let go of a hum, not trusting herself to speak coherent words he could easily pick up on. 

“Are you still living alone?” A while ago (y/n) had told him about her struggles to find a roommate, unsure who to pick as she had high priorities she didn’t want to let go of. Once again she hummed, wondering where he was taking this conversation. “Alright, I want you to pack a bag. I’ll pick you up in a few, you’re spending the weekend with me, I can’t go on that trip without you. We’ll get you back to your healthy self in no time.”

“Professor,” she sat up as she tried to protest, having to drown out the sinful thoughts instantly flushing through her mind. “I don’t want to take up any of your space, and you could also get sick. I’ll be alright here, don’t worry.”

“No, you’re staying with me. I won’t accept any protests, (y/n). What’s your address?”

It hadn’t taken long for them to end the call, for her to take a quick shower and to pack a bag. Her heart kept racing in her chest, urging her to move, to be smart about the things she packed. She barely got any time to overthink as he had arrived at her place rather quickly, but now as she was sitting on his couch, wrapped in a blanket, (y/n)’s thoughts finally caught up with her. 

Austin – as he had asked her to call him – was all too gentle with her, tending to her every need with worry tugging on his features. (Y/n) could only guess that she looked as horrible as she felt, tired eyes barely managing to stay open, and yet she didn’t want to miss a thing, cherishing the chance to be so close to him. 

“How about we watch a movie before I make some soup, huh?” Austin plopped down next to her, tugging on her legs to place them in his lap. (Y/n) allowed herself to study him for a few seconds, his blonde hair had that slightly unruly touch to it, blue eyes focusing on his TV. He wore a simple white shirt that perfectly stuck to his muscles, paired with blue jeans that gave him a different touch to the version of him who always wore suits in class. 

“Sure, I’m good with whatever.” He shot her a quick smile that left her trembling, having to calm her racing heart with her grasp on the blanket growing stronger. She barely managed to pay the opening sequence of the movie any attention, getting lost in her thoughts as his thumb stroked the soft skin of her ankle, holding onto her as if he was scared she could slip right through his fingers. 

For the first time in years, she felt an unfamiliar kind of safety wrapping itself around her, clinging to her like a second skin made to protect her, to cherish her, to perhaps even love her. 

……

Quiet steps carried her towards the big kitchen, engulfed in darkness as (y/n) started the kettle, hoping that another cup of tea could finally lull her to sleep. She was too deep in thought to notice his approaching figure, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed in front of his naked chest. 

“You alright, sweetheart?” (Y/n) jumped at the sound of his raspy voice, pressing her hand to her chest as she turned towards him. A laugh clawed through Austin, guiding him closer to her with slow steps. “Sorry, I didn’t want to scare you.” 

(Y/n) had to turn from him, trying to focus on the almost boiling water as he came to a halt behind her, reaching for another cup. His naked upper body was pressed against her back, one of his arms found its way around her waist to keep her close to him. Goosebumps covered her limbs, silently whispering to her, guiding her hand to find his. 

No words were spoken between the two as she poured the hot water into the big cups while Austin reached for the teabags. He loosened his hold on her as if he was begging her to turn around, to get lost in the bright eyes that reminded her of warm summer mornings spent at the beach, getting lost in daydreams that felt more real than memories of things she had lived through. Her body urged her to move, to lean against the counter with her eyes finding his features, wandering over his handsome face. 

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, (y/n)?” She didn’t trust her voice, knowing that she’d most likely make a fool of herself, but the two hands finding her waist, keeping her caged between his tall frame and the counter, encouraged her to part her lips. (Y/n)’s eyes focused on his neck, on the golden necklace he wore, dangling from his neck like a pendulum about to give her a glimpse into her future. 

“I,” a shaky exhale left (y/n), trusting her mind and heart to guide her. “I keep thinking about how comfortable I feel here. Thank you for letting me stay with you, Austin.” 

She expected him to shoot her his signature smile, to pull away from her to reach for his cup. But he kept close to her, hand slowly moving up to her face, cupping her cold cheek. He forced her to look up at him, making her breath hitch in her chest as she watched his gaze flicker between her eyes and her lips. 

“I tried to stay away from you, but you’re not making it easy for me, sweetheart.” (Y/n) got no chance to reply, silenced by the feeling of his lips finding hers. Ever since she had joined his team, (y/n) had imagined this very moment, wondering how his lips would feel pressed against hers, how he’d hold onto her as they got lost in their kiss. But this was so very different to all these daydreams, more intense, more exciting even. With his hands finding the back of her thighs, he helped her onto the counter, allowing himself to stand between her thighs as they kept kissing. 

“Now you’re definitely getting sick for sure,” (y/n) mumbled the words against his lips as they parted to catch their breaths. Austin’s raspy laugh echoed through the kitchen, bright eyes burning her skin as if she was caught in a wildfire, about to burn to the ground. 

“For you I’ll gladly take on the struggles of being sick.” His words left her heart roaring, lips finding his once again. Their tongues met in a teeth clashing kiss, wordlessly managing to communicate their longing, the desperate need they had fought against these past months. “I need you to be honest with me, do you want this? I don’t want to pressure you, sweetheart.”

“Take me to bed, professor.” (Y/n)’s smirk grew wider as his pupils dilated, picking her up without another warning. She had her legs wrapped around him, face buried in the crook of his neck. Within seconds they found themselves in Austin’s bedroom, he didn’t give her much time to take in the big room, the pictures gracing the walls, fully focused on him as he pressed her down on the mattress. 

Austin kissed his way down her throat as if he was following the trail of a treasure hunt, high on the adrenaline of the search. (Y/n) trembled beneath him while her fingers tugged on the hairs at the nape of his neck before moving down to his muscular shoulders. Somehow it felt as if they had done this numerous times before, knowing exactly how and where to touch one another. 

He parted from her to pull her shirt over her head, focus instantly drawn to her naked chest. The way Austin was staring at her made (y/n) feel as if he was marvelling at a masterpiece, a creation of old times the human mind barely managed to understand. Carefully he cupped her breasts, groaning at the feeling of her soft skin pressing against his. They held eye contact as he brought his lips back to her skin, sucking on both nipples before kissing his way down her stomach. 

“Austin,” (y/n) choked on his name, begging him to keep on moving, to touch her where she needed him the most. 

“Talk to me, sweetheart, what do you want?” His voice grew lower with every spoken syllable, pushing heat down to her core. She felt her walls clench around nothing, begging him to finally fuck her. 

“You, all of you. Please, I need you so badly.” Without speaking another word, he ripped her panties from her hips, letting his fingers explore her arousal-covered folds. His name rolled off her tongue, she arched her back at the careful touches, trying to shuffle even closer. Austin could do whatever he wanted to her at that very moment, she was putty in his hands, his to toy with, his to use for his own pleasure. Whatever he wanted, she’d do it, if he kept on touching her like this. 

“Will you let me taste you? I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.” (Y/n) could only nod her head, letting go of a breathless gasp the second his rough tongue brushed through her folds. Austin moaned at her taste, he wrapped one arm around her thigh, keeping her pressed to him while the other hand found her clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves with his fingers. Within the first seconds of him touching her, (y/n) had known that she wouldn’t be able to hold on for long, overstimulated by his touches. 

No longer could she spare her hurting throat any attention, no longer did she struggle to breathe on, all she could do was focus on him, on the way he dipped his tongue into her tightness, how he added more speed to his movements, pushing her closer and closer to the edge.

“You taste so sweet, I could stay like that forever, if you’ll let me.” She moaned at his praise, fingernails scratching at his skin to try and hold on. Her legs were trembling from the strength she used to curl her toes, unsure how much longer she could stop herself from giving in to an intense orgasm. 

“It’s alright, cum for me, show me how pretty you look when you cum for me.” Austin’s words pushed her into the open arms of her orgasm, calling out his name as he kept circling her clit with a smirk glued to his lips. He watched her every move, every micro-expression he could pick up on, fully mesmerised by the beautiful woman he had wanted to pull closer for months. 

“Oh god,” (y/n) panted the words, drawing gleeful chuckles from Austin as he let go of her. Her glassy eyes watched him undress, gaze wandering down his muscular upper body, past his six-pack to his sweatpants. His cock sprang free as he stepped out of his clothes, a sight that pushed heat straight down to her cunt, needing to feel him buried inside of her. “I need you to fuck me now, I can’t wait any longer, Austin.”

“Mhm, such a desperate girl, we should teach you some patience one day.” He reached for a condom, rolled it down his cock and positioned himself between her thighs. With her hand finding the back of his neck, (y/n) pulled him back down for a kiss, distracting herself from the slight pain as he pushed into her, having to adjust to his size. For a second, they held still, clinging to one another to let go of a few deep exhales, fingers interlaced to try and keep themselves grounded. 

“Move, please, professor.” Austin let go of a growl at the use of the title, building a comfortable rhythm that allowed one another to get used to the sensation. He was careful with her, not daring to hurt her when she was still sick, not fully able to guide her body. But the blissful expression tugging on her features was enough to calm his racing heart, finding enjoyment in the way she clung to him, how she seemingly felt the same pull he did.

They were a mess of tangled limbs, of moans blurring together, of hearts beating in sync, a match so perfect neither of them wanted to break out of their very own bubble. Their bodies met with every thrust, bringing them closer and closer together, while their eyes found back together. 

“My pretty girl, I don’t want to let you go again.” He murmured the words against her lips, luring a soft chuckle out of (y/n). 

“Don’t let me go, don’t you dare.” Her head rolled back as his cock nudged her swollen spot, leaving him grinning in success. Austin kept staring down at her, trying to burn every passing second into his mind, praying that he won’t ever forget about this night. 

“Touch yourself, make yourself cum on my cock, sweetheart.” With a gasp leaving her, her fingers found her pulsing clit, moving quickly to give her the needed push. He fucked her through her second orgasm, letting go himself as she relaxed beneath him. 

Austin clung to her as they both tried to catch their breaths, only parting as they managed to break through the hazy fog wrapping itself around the two lovers. He threw away the condom before he returned to her, cupping her now warm cheek to pull her in for another kiss. 

“How about a bath?” She could only nod as he picked her up and carried her into his bathroom, while making the silent promise to cherish her for as long as she’ll let him.

[mrghostrat]

Haven’t been on tumblr in a long time.. I remember your streamer au, but nothing more. Id appreciate a small recap! :3

HII! for anyone who hasn't read it, it's a very slice-of-life collection of scenes for the most part, so there's loads of lil scenes i'll leave out of this. but here's a look back at the overall friends-to-lovers plot!

and they were streamers (10/16) (unfinished wip)

aziraphale and crowley are full time twitch streamers who live together in a london townhouse. crowley streams whatever he wants, usually toxic pvp games and "just chatting" hanging out and drinking. aziraphale streams all kinds of wholesome crafty content, such as cooking, baking, reading, and book binding.

crowley has been in love with aziraphale since... god, far too long. he'll never say anything because he knows aziraphale only sees him as a friend

aziraphale is bombarded with a hate raid during pride month, and is severely ill-equipped to moderate it himself. crowley jumps in to shut it down and fix his security settings to protect him further.

aziraphale brings crowley a cup of tea one stream (standing off-camera) when he's heavily focused on a game. he startles at the sudden presence, shouting "angel" accidentally for everyone to hear. aziraphale doesn't mind, but the chat go nuts speculating over the pet name and his relationship with his roommate

furfur, a sub-par streamer and tea-spill investigator, notes a connection on twitter between this "angel" and and old stream clip where crowley is caught ranting and rambling (very smittenly) about an "angel" in his life.

aziraphale's chat starts to wonder about the fondness between him and his elusive off-screen roommate

crowley posts in aziraphale's chat asking if he can have a bite of what he's cooking. he goes to the kitchen to try some, but the chat is too distracted freaking out that the notorious crowley is watching an aziraphale stream to realise aziraphale has actually handed a plate off camera. aziraphale seems troubled when he notices the chat is so beserk, so crowley makes a secret side account to send him a donation and tell him to keep up the good work

aziraphale comes home to find crowley in a discord call, playing party games with anathema, newt, and nina. he settles in beside him on the couch to join in.

crowley surprises aziraphale by raiding him at the end of his stream. he uses his 3,000 viewers to ask if aziraphale plans on going to a twitch meet-up in edinburgh. when crowley finally asks himself, aziraphale says yes.

the dark council, a huge and popular UK twitch team, tweets their curiosity about crowley's elusive roommate, wanting anyone with sleuthing abilities to spill the tea for them.

shaxx encourages furfur to investigate his theory that aziraphale and crowley live together, wanting him to impress the dark council twitch team to grow both their streams.

aziraphale and crowley drive to edinburgh together, playing games in the car, answering questions on twitter, and have a tense conversation on what to do if you harbour a secret crush. aziraphale thinks you should go for grand gestures, but crowley thinks it's best to bottle things up.

they attend the meet-up at a packed pub. crowley introduces aziraphale to beelzebub and promises to stick by his side, but as the drinks start flowing, they both get more comfortable to mill around and socialise on their own.

furfur, hired as the photographer for the event, arrives only after crowley and aziraphale separate from one another. but at the end of the night, gets a photo of them leaving the pub together in a drunken giggle fit, looking like smitten lovers. shaxx and furfur speculate they might be more than just roommates.

back in london, aziraphale makes plans for his holiday fundraiser stream. his viewers suggest a "roommate reveal" for £5,000. both he and crowley are flabbergasted that anyone is even slightly interested. furfur rushes to compile a tea spill twitlonger before the fundraiser.

while planning for his christmas events, aziraphale bakes a practise batch of angel cake on stream, crowley's favourite. he jumps up from the couch to eat a slice, accidentally wandering straight onto camera-- spoiling the fundraising surprise, and ruining furfur's tea spill. they're trending on twitter the next day.

aziraphale is hate raided again, but this time the raiders hack into his chat bot. crowley rushes in to reset the bot's data before they can export years of chat logs and sensitive viewer information. when the raid is halted, aziraphale is relieved, then devastated to realise everything has been wiped, until crowley assures him he made a backup of the logs, a la saving his books.

aziraphale finally realises he loves crowley. he's so overcome with affection for him, it starts to freak crowley out. crowley thinks he's getting swept up in the christmas season and is reading into affection that isn't actually there, and aziraphale thinks he's making crowley uncomfortable by upsetting the status quo

aziraphale becoems downtrodden by how closed-off crowley is being, and crowley panics when he realises he hasn't been subtle at all. he promises aziraphale hasn't done anything wrong and that he's just in his own head about their upcoming christmas party with their mods. aziraphale tries to believe him.

[sc0tters]

Second Chance | Jamie Drysdale

summary: jamie might still have your mind but does he really have your heart?

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, p in v, mild choking, mild degradation, jealous jamie, swearing.

word count: 3.68k

authors note: for how long this took me I’m embarrassed to admit to how short it is… this part two was also so freaking weird to write so I’m hoping it’s a bit better to read.

pt 1

You had grown to hate Anaheim.

The city was a shell of its former self with where the shadows of Jamie seemed to haunt your mind. Everywhere you looked you swore he was there and you hated being met with the reality that he wasn’t. But most of all you hated the fact that you couldn’t seem to hate him.

Trevor noticed the decline in your mood but he just assumed that it was some kind of seasonal depression. And as he focused on building his new relationship with his girlfriend, he simply didn’t notice how far you had fallen. Trying to grapple with life as a twenty year old was always going to be tough and still feeling the pain of a broken heart that was dealt to you by the man who you couldn’t ever call yours.

It was this weird sense of grief you felt. You couldn’t say that you missed him because then what was it that you missed? He wasn’t your boyfriend, and at best Jamie was the guy you slept with from time to time. To top it all off you were a barely keeping it all together whilst Jamie seemed to be unscathed from the unfortunate emotions, only furthering your pain.

Your friends put you on enough dating sites to last anyone a lifetime as you were the only one single. And as you finally stopped turning them down, they wouldn’t give you a chance to change your mind. With each guy you could only find his downfalls or how he wasn’t like Jamie and how your heart and your brain just wanted the man who clearly wanted nothing to do with you.

So after almost three months of struggling with all of these men that clearly weren’t enough to pull your mind from the grasps of Jamie; you finally found someone who made you feel alive and funnily enough he had been right in front of you all along. Alex started hanging out more with you when Trevor started spending more time with Dixie.

Alex had actually shown up at the Zegras siblings apartment one night looking for Trevor “hey Al.” You smiled as you saw the boy stand over you “is Trev in?”Aled asked as he cocked his head shoving his hands into his shorts pockets.

Your lips pursed together as you shook your head “he’s out on a date.” Your words made him wriggle his eyebrows as he laughed “I got that man dinner for nothing?” Every Wednesday the duo would go for dinner if they didn’t have a game and now it seemed that your brother forgot of that tradition.

You frowned sending him a sigh “if you’re up for an episode of the bachelor I could eat?” You offered opening the door further as you smiled tilting your head inwards “since you asked so nicely.” Alex didn’t hesitate to nod as he walked in making himself comfortable on the couch.

That’s how your weeks ended, with Alex on the couch and he was no longer just your brothers best friend but instead a friend of yours. You had to say that you found yourself falling for him. With Alex it was no longer tough to not think about Jamie, instead now it was tough to not let your body feel like it was on fire with nerves.

All the way in Philly sat Jamie as he frowned staring at his phone in his empty apartment. The sound of a notification pulled him from his daze when he realised that he had a voicemail from you. It surprised him when he saw your name but after months of letting his thumb hover over the call button only stopping when the fear of hearing you upset got to him. But instead he was met with the sounds of you in bed with someone else.

The sounds of your breathe shaking echoed in the phones speaker “fuck Al!” You moaned letting your legs shake “you are such a pretty fucking girl.” Alex mumbled as he ran his finger over your clit. It made Jamie freeze listening to you having sex. Was he meant to hang up? Because this clearly wasn’t meant for him.

You grabbed the boy by the back of his neck as you pulled him forward “gonna come.” You announced kissing his lips “go make a mess on my fingers and I’ll make you feel real good with my cock.” As the offer left Alex’s lips a flurry of jumbled sounds and noises left your mouth signalling that you had reached your high.

The sounds made Jamie recoil in disgust as he didn’t know what to do about it. Most of all though he missed being the one who made you sound like that. Jamie didn’t know what to do as he felt his cock hardening in his pants. The season had ended and he was meant to be heading home to his parents but all he could think about was you. There were no rumours on twitter about you and this Al that Jamie swore was Turcotte.

And he knew that Twitter would have found something as they even had scraps of you and Jamie together swirling around the rumour mill. So as he was met with nothing but random pictures of you and Trevor, Jamie knew what he had to do.

You groaned when you were woken up to the incessant pounding on your door when you realised that Trevor was still out “alright I’m coming!” You complained rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

Before you could even properly open the door it was pushed into you as the raven haired boy that you knew so well walked in “where is he?” Jamie grunted looking around the pristinely clean apartment “where is who?” You yawned wondering if you were dreaming of Jamie being there.

The boy stopped planting his feet where he was as he sent you a harsh glare “the man you fucked last night y/n!” His words made you freeze as you began to wonder how he knew about what you had done the night before.

A laugh echoed through your ears “you gonna tell me you don’t remember giving me that front row seat to listen in?” your eyes went wide as you realised what had gone on.

You couldn’t help but bring your hand to your mouth as you held back a laugh “you came back because you heard me have sex?” You knew it wasn’t the time to bring it up but that clearly seemed to be his entire reason for being there and you were a fool to think that it could have been something else.

Jamie rolled his eyes as he felt himself grow angry “I leave for Philly and all of a sudden you’re deciding that your type simply has to be friends with your brother.” The flyer spat as he sent you a glare “you don’t get to go there!” The embarrassment you once held had left your chest as it had been replaced by anger.

He rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms “why not?” Jamie spoke rhetorically as he cocked his head “because that’s the only thing we have in common.” He pointed out reminding you of how different the boys were.

You chewed at the inside of your cheek “you left me and came back to judge me for moving on?” Your voice was barely a whisper as the boy stepped closer to you.

Part of you was grateful for the fact that Alex left earlier that morning needing to catch a flight back to Michigan but the other part just wanted him to walk into the living room to stop whatever was going to come from this “you didn’t really move on though, did ya?” Jamie’s fingers were rough against your cheek as he towered over you.

A shaky breath left your lips “you’re being mean.” You pointed out trying your best to ignore his question “tell me to leave and I will.” Jamie announced pressing a cold and hard gaze against your weakening one.

The oxygen around the room was struggling to get into your lungs as you shook your head “you know I can’t.” It came with this defeated sigh that even made Jamie pity you “then why’d you go for him?” The question was like the one you had asked yourself so many times and could never find the answers to.

You shrugged as no answer really made the most sense “you enjoyed playing him is that it?” The hockey player was pushing your buttons in search of a particular answer “he’s good to me J.” You shook your head almost offended that the boy in front of you thought that lowly of you.

Yet it gave him the chance to laugh at you once more “better than I was?” It seemed like that was the first question you could actually shake off as you shook your head but this time to really say no “does he have you coming for rounds on end?” Especially once Jamie moved into out from the Zegras sibling’s apartment; it meant that you were over at his more often than not and up until the sun would rise.

Tears welled in your waterline “only you do that.” It was as though his cock left an imprint on your cunt that only he knew how to make feel full “I know my sweet girl.” You really thought that you had moved on from Jamie but as he stood in front of you with his hand caressing your cheek, you knew that you couldn’t have been more wrong.

Jamie put you out of your misery as his free hand gripped at your hip “how about I make you feel real fucking good?” He offered letting his lips hover over yours “please.” Was all the hockey player needed to hear as he picked you up letting your legs wrap around his waist as his lips locked with yours.

All of the lust and anger that both of you felt about the situation -about each other- was oozing out of your systems as your hands tugged through his hair pulling at the roots as his tongue slid into your lips “should fuck you out here like the real slut that you are.” He proposed letting a smirk form across his lips as he watched your eyes go wide.

Trevor had told you he was coming home, you just didn’t know when “Jim.” You whined shaking your head as you motioned your bedroom trying to tell him that today wasn’t the time for it “you worried that your little boy toy is gonna come back to see where you really belong?” Jamie nipped at your neck as he walked you both into your room making sure that the door was shut.

He watched in awe as your eyes scanned his face “his name is Alex, Jamie.” You reminded the boy as you felt guilty thinking about how sweet Alex was to you “and I’m gonna make sure you forget it.” Jamie’s announcement didn’t have you thinking otherwise as he placed you onto your bed settling into his place between your legs.

You had seen Jamie jealous before after you chugged a beer that Mason had given you. But this was a whole new level as if Jamie had something to prove “now rest that pretty little head of yours on that pillow f’me.” The hockey player reached behind you to grab your pillow as he pulled it closer to you.

One thing you always knew how to do was listen to him and today you didn’t disappoint. Your body nestled against your sheets as you looked at him with anticipation “god you’re soaked.” Jamie grunted seeing your soaked cunt as he trailed his fingers against your slit watching in awe as your wetness stuck to fingers.

He swore that the sight would truly never get old as he would watch you like this forever “please.” Your voice waivered as you forced your hips into the air “been thinking about having a taste of this all the fucking time.” Jamie confessed making you meet him with a whimper.

His lips pressed against your knee “Jamie.” You groaned feeling his breath go down your legs as he made sure to spread his love equally “yeah baby.” The hockey player turned his head up to look at you as you chewed at your lower lip.

A mewl left your lips “please fuck me.” You begged feeling desperate to feel him between your thighs again “don’t think you’re in a position to be making demands.” Jamie clicked his tongue as he blew a cool air against your cunt “not after you were fucking him on our bed.” He didn’t even give you a chance to respond as his tongue latched onto your clit.

Your hands gripped at your sheets in an attempt to stop your body from curling into itself “‘m sorry.” You croaked out as your body melted into his touch

Jamie might as well have been a starved man as he treated you like you were his last meal “can’t believe you let him see my sweet tight pussy.” The boy raised his lips only far enough to bring his hand between you both so that he could hit your cunt.

It made you moan as your body shook “he would let me come.” You knew you were playing with fire as the hockey player sent you a glare “that pretty little mouth of yours is gonna get you in so much trouble.” Jamie warned edging dangerously close to you as he smirked.

You used the last bits of power and strength that you had left to smile “you used to deal with that by putting your cock in my mouth.” You swore that in that moment Jamie was seeing the devil as his pupils darkened “that’s before I had to treat you like somebody else’s whore.” He spat letting his fingers grip onto your hips as he turned you over resulting in a yelp leaving your lips.

Your didn’t often deceive you but in that moment you swore you heard Jamie grunt into your ear “you just had to go and give this pretty little cunt to someone who didn’t even deserve it.” Jamie clicked his tongue as he undid his belt.

You gripped at your sheets as you felt your shirt come off of your back as it was lifted up “see he isn’t a fan of you back here.” The hockey player mumbled to himself as your back looked untouched “at least I know your ass is still mine then.” He squeezed your ass in his fingers causing a breathy moan to leave your lips.

You couldn’t help but shake your ass pushing yourself into him “god I need to fuck you.” Jamie groaned feeling his cock throb as he felt your bare cunt grind against him “what are you waiting for then?” The question taunted him practically egging him on as you push his buttons further.

The swollen tip of his cock oozed precum as he wrapped his hand around his shaft “you’re lucky that I can’t get this cunt out of my head.” He grumbled pumping himself once then twice before he dragged the mushroom head over your slit.

It made your body tense as you curled your toes “fuck!” Your moan was swallowed by your pillow as Jamie smirked to himself “seems like you been missing me too.” The hockey player gripped at your hips as he let himself bottom you out.

Both of you stayed there for a moment as your walls hugged his length “like I never even left ya.” Jamie gritted his teeth as he began to pick up the pace of his thrusts feeling his eyes flutter “was worried he would have ruined my pretty fucking pussy.” The boy spat oozing with jealousy as it made you whimper.

Tears formed in your waterline when your ass was met with a smack “no!” You cried as you shook your head “don’t worry doll.” Jamie kissed the back of your neck as his hands slid under you to cup your breasts.

The sounds of his thrusts echoed in your ears “could never ruin something that wasn’t his.” Your cunt clenched around Jamie as you were aroused by his possessiveness “you like hearing me say that you’re all mine huh?” You could feel his smirk like the Cheshire Cat as you nodded.

Jamie’s knees dipped into the mattress as he got the best angle into you “all yours.” You moaned as you turned your head up to see him looking back down at you “knew you still had a brain in that pretty head of yours.” The hockey player kissed your cheek as his cock throbbed from within you.

Your breasts bounced with each thrust of his cock “don’t stop J.” You begged feeling a coil snap in your stomach “you feel you haven’t had a good fuck in months.” Jamie wasn’t lying when he said that, your cunt stretched to his cock and it was as though he hadn’t been with you before.

Cries let your lips as you babbled a steady stream of incoherent nonsense “make me feel so full.” Tears streamed down your cheeks as your legs began to shake “you feel me in here?” Jamie asked pressing his hand against your lower stomach where he felt his cock hit your gspot that left you yelping out in pleasure.

His fingers slid lower to rub your clit “fuck I’m gonna come.” You announced not thinking that you would be able to last much longer “gonna hold it until you ask nicely.” Jamie clicked his tongue as his free hand was quick to move to your neck as he pulled you closer to him as he held you upright.

Sweat stuck your both of you as his thrusts began to grow unstable and inconsistent “please let me come.” You called out not caring who could hear you “just want to be all yours.” You nodded feeling your vision get blurry as you didn’t think you were going to last much longer.

Jamie let his teeth sink into your shoulder as he stopped himself from coming in that moment “you never gonna let him get close to your pretty cunt ever again?” Jamie spat pressing his fingertips over the sides of your throat.

You swore your throat was raw as you kept on begging to have him let you come “I’m only yours Jamie.” You mumbled nodding as your ears began to ring “you fucking own me.” That was enough to let Jamie go feral as he used the little energy he had left to practically fuck you into oblivion “just go make a mess on my cock doll.” The order wasn’t something he needed to say twice.

As your cunt clenched around him it triggered the hockey players orgasm on as he spurted his warm load in sticky strings against your cunts walls “fuck J.” You whined writhing against him as you practically forgot how to breathe when the oxygen to your brain began to slow.

It took him a few more thrusts until you both landed on your mattress and his hand left your neck “wow.” Jamie mumbled sliding his cock out from your cunt to see your release mix either his as it oozed out “you okay?” He added flipping you over onto your back as you finally got the chance to look at him.

The way his eyes scanned you deep of concern made you laugh “that was the hottest thing I think you’ve ever done.” You confessed making him match your laugh as he leaned down to kiss you “think I can make it a little hotter then.” Jamie proposed running his hand down your slit before he scooped up whatever release that had oozed from your cunt as he now let it go back into your core as he pushed his fingers through your hole.

That day left an imprint on your mind as four weeks had gone by and Jamie had become nothing more than one of Trevor’s friends. Confessions seemed to way less than your brothers tears as he drunkenly sobbed into your arms one night begging you to end whatever it was after he found you in Jamie’s shirt.

Thankfully Trevor seemed to have no recollection of the conversation as he invited Jamie along to the family house on the lake a little over a month from now. Sure it was going to be weird for you but after a long call with Jamie you both agreed that it was going to be best for things to end for the sakes of Trevor.

He tried to put up a fight but when you brought up distance amongst other factors, Jamie knew he had lost the battle. You and Alex were merely enjoying things the way they were.

It was the perfect balance that truly didn’t need a label to have you feeling secure. Yet as you stood in the bathroom waiting for your timer to go off part of you began to curse your big brother for having to come to you, and for you having to be a good person.

Your period had been late and as it was bikini season you never complained but when you did the math backwards you realised that something was off. Even if you had shared your bed with two different guys, only one had you without any kind of protection between you both was Jamie.

And as you flipped the test over to see the thick bold letters spelling out the word PREGNANT you knew you were in all sense of the word fucked. No amount of tears was ever going to help make this situation better as you began to panic. Your head pressed against your knees as you wanted to wake up from this dream.

Al 🖤: just booked my flight see you next month x

[topherwrites]

FIC RECS: OUTER RANGE, OUTER BANKS, STRANGER THINGS

If I made a little comment about every single fic or series here, it would be inhumanely long, so I've refrained from doing so and have just put the summaries for each. This is split into two parts, TGM fics and everything else.

I hope that anyone who reads this list finds something that they love on it just as much as I do! If I missed you, I'm sorry, there was a lot to sort through!

SOME OF THESE ARE 18+, PLEASE HEED THE INDIVIDUAL WARNINGS!

RHETT ABBOTT

Yellow Soul by @creatchie8

Trapped in a relationship with your high school sweetheart Perry is like a never ending nightmare of always stepping on eggshells. One winter break changes everything as you are reintroduced to his younger brother, Rhett. Looking for an escape, Rhett provides the perfect shelter you crave.

right where i want you by @sushiwriterhere

Standing there, staring at the cotton balls in the trash, some part deep inside of you decides that it’s now or never with Rhett.

Odds are Stacked by @sunlightmurdock

In which Rhett loses a bet and you lose your virginity.

Wayfaring Stranger by @/sunlightmurdock

Betrayal sends Rhett veering further West, searching for answers and searching for himself. Instead, he finds you.

Much Love by @southpawbitch

you & rhett have found yourselves in a little fwb situation despite the fact that you have a fiancé.

About Last Night by @delopsia

A self-indulgent take on Rhett's best friend coming back to Wabang and surprising him after his final rodeo.

Dancing Beneath the Moon by @/delopsia

How is it that your heart only longs for the ghost of a cowboy? And why do you get the feeling that his heart utters the same for you?

Closing Time by @youvebeenlivingfictional

“You’re having a helluva night, huh,” You comment. “S’that supposed to mean?” “You got a shit bull, then you struck out with that girl…And you failed to bait Luke Tillerson into trying to kick your ass.”

RAFE CAMERON

Untouchable by @boneblushed

It is crucial that the head boy and girl of Kildare Academy work together. Too bad the head girl is you and the head boy is Rafe Cameron.

Glitch by @/boneblushed

Rafe has a bad fall on the ski slopes. A temporary amnesiac, he falls in love with you all over again.

So Gorgeous It Actually Hurts by @/folkloreslovechild (deactivated)

childhood enemies to lovers, the slowest of burns, an unbearable amount of pining, both parties in heavy denial for like 90% of the fic, Rafe’s a total douchebag but he can’t help it (you’re gorgeous).

Euro Trip by @/folkloreslovechild (deactivated)

europe summer trip au!

new light by @outerbankies

you come home from college to spend your last summer before senior year in your hometown of the outer banks. an old friend hits you up wanting something more, and you begin to see what’s really been there all along.

You Belong With Me by @forevermoreharrington

Rafe’s fallen helplessly for his dream girl but she just doesn't see it yet.

tis the damn season by @atlabeth

When your roommate Rafe lies to his family that the two of you are dating, you agree to go home with him for the holidays to help sell it as his fake girlfriend after a generous bribe. It's just three weeks in the Outer Banks with one of your best friends -- what could go wrong?

Armour by @probably-writing-x

Having your heart broken was one thing. But Rafe watching somebody break your heart? That was something nobody could prepare for.

So We Won't Forget by @netegf

you meet rafe cameron at a grief support group while he struggles with the loss of his father. he's trying to be a better man, and you can't help but love him for it.

Hate It When You Leave by @/netegf

you are trying to cope with the fact that you're hopelessly in love with your best friend. He's trying to cope with the fact that you don't go after the things you want… including him.

I Know I Am by @bookofbonbon

For Rafe, it's always been you. He's just waiting for you to realise it too.

STEVE HARRINGTON

redamancy by @sanguineterrain

redamancy (n.) - the act of loving someone who loves you back; a love returned in full // or, four times you kissed Steve Harrington, and one time he finally kissed you back.

dancing with our hands tied part i | part ii by @taintedcigs

in which steve is in love with his best friend's ex.

EDDIE MUNSON

Pearl by @cacoetheswriting

a story about two kids trying to navigate through love and loss, inevitable goodbyes, various reunions, friendships and hardships, joy, heartbreak, plus surviving the upside down - all to the sound of Janis Joplin's Pearl.

[saerins]

⋆୨ chapter one ୧˚ thorns without flowers, bars with no drinks

⋆୨ if not for you (masterlist) ⋆୨ previous: prologue - all see through just like glass <> next: chapter two - a million miles away, still you connect me in your way ୧˚

⋆୨ synopsis ୧˚ neither of you want this. both you and sae reluctantly agree to this marriage, although sae’s dissatisfaction far outweighs your own. with hidden agendas and old flames, will this ever work out between the two of you, or will your forced spark be doomed to fail?

ೀ series: sae x f!reader | wc 5k | ೀ content warnings: fluff/angst, modern au, arranged marriage, rich!sae and rich!reader, hostility on sae’s part, profanity, your marriage is not off to a very good start, both yn and sae both have other … options. | notes: ty i appreciate all of you who are reading this <3 i added everyone who asked to be tagged ^_^ lemme know if i missed you !!

The day has finally arrived. After two months of painstaking preparations, it’s your special day today. Not that your parents have given you any say on your own special day. You wonder if your future husband got the same treatment too. That is, if he was even interested in it.

Everyone has arrived, the chefs are ready, people are dressed to the nines, photographers are already snapping away. More than half the guests, most of which you barely know, have come to speak to you, to congratulate you, but it all still feels so surreal.

Is this really happening?

There’s a lot of important people in attendance today, a lot of them you don’t even know personally. Which is funny, considering that it’s your wedding. Of course, both sets of parents were in charge of the invites, and your actual friends probably only account for fifteen percent of the entire list. (With Sae’s friends, probably totaling thirty percent.) The rest are spaces filled by people in power—political, business, what have you. It’s no surprise; your parents (and you guess Sae’s as well) are great at networking, and of course these people would attend such an event—two kids of rivalling companies getting married would signify a possibly huge shift in market share, and they’d probably like to be here to witness for themselves if this is some sort of sham. If this lasts, then they’ll have to move their money around, that’s for sure.

It is kind of a sham, but you’re trying to get that out of your head. This can’t possibly be anything but a ruse to further their own gains. Parents are like that, as much as you know.

“Hey, are you sure about this? There’s still time to back out, you know?”

Beside you, your ever observant younger sister offers you a sad smile; a product of the guilt she feels because despite you not telling her, she knows you’re just trying to keep the crosshairs away from her. She must’ve realised that your feet are colder than you thought. But as far as you’re concerned, better you than her.

She has a happy relationship with one of the nicest guys she’s ever met, and the last time you’d spoken to him, he’d confessed to wanting to marry her. The only downside to it all is that your sister is way too filial—if your parents tried to force her to get married to someone of their choice, she’d give in eventually, and you don’t want that.

Besides, you don’t have anyone. No love interest, no potential suitors—what’s the worst that could happen to you? As long as Sae is decent enough of a human being, you’re sure you’ll be fine.

“I’m sure, so don’t worry about me, okay?” Your hands come up to her shoulders, squeezing slightly, offering your best and most radiant smile.

Sensing that there’s only more of your dear sister’s worry coming, you’re grateful that a timely knock comes from the doorway. You hold back a sigh of relief before turning to look at your visitor, and you stiffen up when you realise who it is.

“Is this a bad time?”

Your sister speaks up before you do. “Oh, Itoshi Sae, of course not!” There’s a sense of excitement in her voice that masks her earlier concern; it’s kind of sad that the art of faking is a necessity of living in the world you do. It’s one of the essential skills. You either fake it or face consequences. “I’m all done here, you two should talk.”

With that, she bounces out of the room, and you wonder just what kind of thoughts she’s having—her happiness is kind of infectious. Sure, Reo had said countless times that if Sae was ever a dick to you, he’d punch him in the guts for you. So far, he doesn’t have to. It’s nice that he made the time to visit you before the ceremony, it’d be nice to meet just once before after all.

“Hi, um, it’s nice to meet you.” It’s the best you can do when you’re halfway gaping at how good your future husband looks. There’s nothing that needs to be said for his face; his red-brown hair frames his face just nice, his teal eyes makes it feel like he can see right through you, and those naturally long lashes of his makes you envious. He’s wearing a simple black tux—but you know there’s nothing simple about the price tag. Not for his tux, nor for your couture wedding dress. He still looks handsome all the same, and you realise now why so many girls seem to be all over him from all those forums you’d been reading up on.

Still, as charming as he looks, he makes you slightly uncomfortable with that especially long silence, your eyes falling on his gaze, his teal eyes seeming like they’re posing you silent questions. You remain quiet, waiting for his next move. It’s almost like you submit by default.

Some foolish part of you, the hopeless romantic, is hoping you and him can hit it off right away, but even you know that’s asking for too much. Sae proves you right when he finally opens his mouth.

“I wanted to set things straight before we go through with anything.”

Just like that, with just those few words, Sae has managed to strip all the hope out of you. Nothing good can come out of those words, coupled with that monotonous tone of his. This isn’t the face of a man who’s happy to get married, and certainly not one of a man who is even willing.

Though, can you really say you are?

“I only said yes because I was forced to,” Sae tells you, not explaining more than he needs to. The line is drawn—thick with a black marker, something you can’t miss even if you wanted to. “Just play your part, act happy, and you can drop the act once we’re done with this today.”

There’s something in his bossy attitude that doesn’t sit right with you, but you’re too busy being disappointed in yourself to do anything about it. All you allow is a nod, because even without Sae saying it, you had planned to give your biggest smile later anyway, no matter how fake it is. Thing is, you had imagined that Sae was less… hostile than this. Honestly, maybe you had been hoping for him to at least put some effort into liking the situation, but from how he is now, it doesn’t look like it at all.

“Okay then, see you.”

Sae barely looks at you before he turns and walks off toward the door, right about to turn the corner when he’s stopped by your parents. Of course, they’re more than delighted to see him. They’d been convincing you hard to this arranged marriage, claiming how you’re so horrible at romance that they really are just pushing you to do this so they can have an heir early. If you ever did have a child, you can only be sure how you want to not treat them like. Your parents can be credited for that.

“You look wonderful, Sae!” Your mother is already gushing over Sae’s look as your father has his arm around him, pulling him back to the door.

“So, this is the first time you’re meeting our Y/N right? What do you think, son?” Your father has his Client Services voice switched on—after seeing him work all this time, you can distinguish it in an instant. You wonder if Sae can.

In front of your parents, you’re shocked to see that he’s already putting on an act. There’s a very subtle smile on his face—something that seems so soft and secretive, something that looks like it’s meant to be viewed by exclusive people only—and you find your own heart skipping a beat. You wonder if anyone’s ever been so lucky to be able to see that naturally.

“Your daughter is…” Sae trails off, and you find yourself swallowing the lump in your throat, inwardly asking. yourself why on earth would his opinion matter to you at all. “Pretty.”

It’s a simple word, with an even simpler meaning, and Sae doesn’t even mean it, but you find a heat creeping up your cheeks and you’re not sure why it’s so easy to appease you.

“You’re hopeless, you know that?” Reo says later on, after your parents and Sae have headed off somewhere and Reo takes their place.

Covering your head with your hands, you groan, absolutely annoyed with yourself. “Is it so wrong that I just want my future husband to remotely like me even just a little bit?”

Reo sighs, wondering what kind of luck you have to be born into a family where that isn’t even possible. Usually, people marry someone after they dated them for a while. After they can ascertain they’re good for them and that they have the capacity to put them first. Somehow, you’d been stripped of that because your parents, of all people, are the ones encouraging you to get married to someone who doesn’t love you. Hell, they even know that you and Sae don’t even know each other.

It’s pitiful, really. You’re a nice person, and Reo would shake you and convince you not to do this if he could, but it’s not like you can afford anyone to lose faith in you. If they do, how will you keep up your act? So, he’ll play his part as your best friend and just support you—he’ll deal with Sae separately if he ever dares to treat you horribly.

“Does he even know how to be nice to people?” You ponder out loud, whining, pouting as you gaze at nothing at all, the ticking of the clock making you more nervous by the second.

The wedding ceremony is half an hour away now.

Reo takes a seat beside you, leaning an elbow against your dresser. “Hmm, I heard about him from friends of friends—but all of them say he’s more of an asshole than your average person,” Reo fills you in, though you probably guessed that by yourself.

Of course, he chooses not to disclose the fact that Sae has an alleged ex he can’t get over, because what good would that do you? You’ll just get all FBI-mode and try to find her socials and find reasons you’ll never measure up and say shit like maybe that’s why Sae isn’t interested in you.

Still, you look like a hot mess and Reo has to encourage you somehow, or else you’ll end up walking up that aisle like you’re marrying Lord Farquaad. “Oi, Y/N, what I hear is he’s just a tough nut to crack.”

“I get it, Reo, I’ll probably end up talking to the wall everyday at home since my husband won’t even talk to me.”

Reo rolls his eyes, pressing his lips into a firm line and putting his hands on your shoulders, taking care not to shake you or else your hairdo will come off and he’ll have your hairdresser absolutely seething. He’s not about to try and owe her anything or else he’ll end up bald just from having to offer her a wig.

“Hey, he’s just a tough nut to crack,” he repeats, and he sighs in exasperation when you still don’t get it. “So crack him, stupid. You’re good at that, right?”

Your eyes widen at Reo’s insinuation, and even more so when you realise it’s an actual good attempt at trying to encourage you. You crack a small laugh and Reo smiles along with you—he thinks that smile looks the best on you.

“If you can crack Nagi of all people, who’s Itoshi Sae?” Reo affirms. Nagi Seishiro, the son of the dean back when all of you were in university, who wanted for nothing except laying in bed all day and playing games, somehow managed to show an interest in helping his mother with her business, and it’s all because of you. Reo still doesn’t know how you did it, but all he knows is that you’re probably magic. (No, he knows you definitely are. You were, once, his once upon a time after all.)

His words stay with you even as you walk down the aisle fifteen minutes later, arm looped around your father’s.

“Be a good wife, okay?” Your father’s words break you out of your reverie. It isn’t the normal way a father would show concern for his child. No, the way he says it is cold and sinister, like it’s a threat. He reminds you why you’ve never had a good relationship with him. “If you screw this up, we’ll all have hell to pay.”

Trust your father to drop a bomb on you right before he passes you to Sae, who receives you with a polite nod. Perhaps, his original reaction is to have no reaction at all—is that nod his form of ‘acting’?

“Dearly beloved, we are all gathered here today—”

The words are lost on you as you try to keep your head in the present. Different thoughts are invading your head from different places that you almost feel overwhelmed from the mess. You can see Sae right in front of you, staring at you, and all you can think of is how you’re going to get along with someone who looks like he doesn’t want to. Growing up with a distant father and a far-too-subservient mother gives you anxiety—what if you end up just like that? Aside from that, instead of the holy words of matrimony, all you can hear is your father’s words repeating themselves in your head.

Hell to pay? Why, exactly? Why did he let go of the flimsy excuse of simply wanting to be his daughter’s matchmaker? What’s he talking about when he involves you in a possible blowback? What’s going on?

“Anytime now, princess.”

Sae’s hushed voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and you scramble to gather yourself. “Yes, I do.”

For some reason, Sae’s hands are now around yours, and the glimmer of the diamond on your ring finger reminds you of the gravity of what you’re doing. You’re getting married—to someone you barely know, for a reason you’re somehow not privy to. You’re signing away your life to be with someone who made it clear he’s definitely not interested, who views you as a chore before he bothers to get to know you.

It all terrifies you, if only because this was not what you ever envisioned for yourself. In the audience, you see Reo’s vibrant purple eyes looking at you, a confident smile on his face, nodding as though telling you that you’ve got this. In some ways, it’s reassuring, because once upon a time, you’d thought of Reo as your Prince Charming.

In front of you—not completely oblivious to your subtle actions: trembling fingers, eyes flicking over to that purple-haired boy in the front row, your shallow breathing—Sae puts a gentle hand on your cheek, slowly guiding you to look straight at him. For his part, he has to at least make this believable, to make his parents believe that he’ll follow through with this for years and years so that they’ll never have to bother Rin. Unfortunately for you, you’re his ticket to that end. Like it or not, both of you are in this together.

“Try to look like you’re happy, at least,” Sae breathes against your lips, a soft curve on his lips just for show, as he slowly presses his lips against your own, a satisfaction washing over him as he feels you kiss him back.

Great, step one is done. Now, for the rest of the wedding.

It’s a tough sell. During the reception, you’re acutely aware of how awkward you and Sae are around each other. He tries, occasionally tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear, or offering to feed you food. It’s only because there’s a lot of eyes on both of you.

His hand on your back feels foreign, and forced, and you can’t help feeling sad that he’s not someone who cares for you. The only thing tiding you through is that it’s not necessarily that way for you too.

“You’re a horrible actress,” he whispers, low so only you can hear. He’s right, too. You really do suck at this. “If you don’t at least look happy, we’re both in trouble.”

As if you need a reminder. In some ways, his attitude is similar to your father’s, and not in a good way. It only serves to make his touch more alien.

“Hey, look who’s here,” you hear a very boisterous voice approaching.

A quick turn of your head and you can see who you assume to be Sae’s friends, because surely they’re not yours. The one approaching first looks older, dark hair with green tips, behind him another one with blonde hair and wild pink highlights.

“Hello there, beautiful,” the first one says, reaching out to grab your hand and place a kiss on the back of it.

With a click of his tongue, Sae yanks his hand off of you. “Stop playing, Oliver.”

Oliver. That name sounds oddly familiar.

“At least I wasn’t like Mr Embarrassing here who spilled the wine all over one of the bridesmaids.”

Mr Embarrassing cocks a brow, ready to challenge Oliver. But before either of them can say anything more, Sae cuts in.

“These are my friends—”

“I’m Oliver Aiku,” he introduces himself, properly reaching out his hand this time now, waiting for you to take it at your own pace. 

You stare at him dumbly for a moment before shaking it. “As in, the law firm?”

“At your service,” Oliver smirks.

Of course one of Sae’s friends is the son of the most influential law firms in the whole of Japan. Right as you’re still collecting yourself, Oliver nudges Mr Embarrassing.

Looking completely disinterested, he sighs. “Ryusei Shidou.”

“As in,” you pause for a while, afraid you might be wrong. “As in… the governor Shidou?”

Annoyed, Shidou nods anyway, and Oliver begins to tell you to excuse him because he’s in a shitty mood but you’re not really hearing any of that.

Holy crap. So that must be the infamous son of the governor, the one he keeps carefully hidden away from prying eyes. Given how he’s behaving, and how he looks completely unlike a… typical person here, you’re not that surprised. That’s probably just how tradition is, in their family. Much like how you and the Itoshis have their own as well.

The rest of the celebration goes uneasily, your anxiety forever creeping up your spine, threatening to unravel itself and have you running off to Reo for some sense of familiarity—but that won’t look well: new bride choosing to spend the entire celebration with her best friend instead of her new husband? That’ll just bode a scandal for all three of you, and with this many influential people in the room, from governors to influencers, that’s the dumbest move you can make.

“Well, you two look absolutely beautiful together!”

After your first dance, the Itoshis approach you, both of them seemingly happy on the surface, but given how Sae absentmindedly tightens his grip around your hand, you’re not so sure you should believe in the superficial. Right, because you of all people should know the complications that come with being children of such parents.

It’s like Sae realises what he’s doing before he drops your hand, acting like nothing happened at all.

“Sae. What did we discuss?” The way his father calls his name is absolutely sinister. If you didn’t know any better, you swear they feel like absolute strangers.

Fortunately for you, some other guests come by and steal their attention, both of them relegating to one of the other tables. Beside you, Sae’s jaw is clenched—he’s lost any interest in faking anything for now.

Still, you suppose, if you’re going to get along with him, you probably have to try to reach out… right? Steeling your resolve, you place your hand over his, squeezing it a little, “what was that—”

Without even letting you finish, Sae yanks his hand away, and for the first time today, you’re seeing some genuine emotion behind his eyes. 

And they’re not kind. They’re pretty, but they’re ice cold—the veins on his temple are prominent now, and he really doesn’t care if anyone sees.

“You’re my wife, only on paper,” he hisses through his teeth, still cautious in keeping his voice down. His frustration doesn’t know its boundaries, choosing to take this anger out on you. “Stop trying to poke your nose into my fucking business, we’re strangers, and that’s all we’ll ever be. Drop the act, I’m done for today.”

Just like that, he storms off, which doesn’t quite particularly cause a ruse because for a wedding held for the both of you, there’s not a lot of people here that actually care for either of you. It’s as though this wedding is just a pathetic excuse for a larger-scale networking session.

Feeling even more pathetic yourself, you make sure nobody’s looking before you slip away, retreating to the rooftop garden—you need some fresh air after being so uprightly rejected by your on-paper husband.

Back in the dressing room, Sae locks the door behind him, knowing full well you didn’t deserve to be on the other end of his temper but not being able to bring himself to just apologise. Just as well, he figures. From the looks of it, you seemed pretty hopeful for the bare minimum being a good relationship but Sae can’t see it.

He catches his reflection in the mirror, barely recognising himself. A year ago, getting married wasn’t even in his radar. He’d thought of it before, sure, but would never have guessed in his wildest dreams that he’d get married to you of all people. 

There’s always an agenda for why his parents force these things on their children. If he was a shittier brother, he’d have let them drag Rin back for all he cared. But maybe it’s the way he can’t bear for them to ruin yet another dream that he so easily gave in. Or maybe he thought that this idea wouldn’t be so bad in the first place, maybe it’ll give him the chance to want to move past certain things.

Evidently, it’s not working well.

You’re pretty, and that’s something he didn’t lie about. You really are, but that’s all he can say. He can’t say he sees anything, any hope, any reason for him to want this to work out.

Sae sits down on one corner of the bed, pulling his phone out. He scoffs upon realising he doesn’t even have your number. What kind of fucked up marriage is this? Nothing was handled for either of you, so it’s safe to say that the only thing either set of parents cared about was that this went through. 

As he looks through his phone, contemplating whether to ask Oliver or Shidou to think of an excuse to let him bail from the celebrations before it ends, a text comes in, and this time, all the anger and disappointment disappears, all that’s left is the warm feeling of nostalgia and familiarity.

The contact he hasn’t seen in his notifications for a few years now lights up his phone, and all of a sudden he feels somewhat better. Though, her message itself makes him feel complicated inside.

Sae types a couple of responses, staring at it for a few moments before rephrasing himself and sending it through.

Hours later, after the celebrations are done and both of you are forced to drive back to your new apartment together, you sit in the passenger seat, staring out the window as Sae drives, sitting in complete silence.

As much as you want to save what this marriage could be, you’re not sure where to even start after how he flared up earlier.

Sae keeps his eyes on the road, too enveloped in his own thoughts to bother even turning on the music. His eyes occasionally flick over to your figure. Your fingers are trembling. Are you scared of this all or are you just feeling cold? Either way, he can’t bring himself to care. All he cares about right now is just finding a way out of this stupid farce.

After a fifteen-minute drive, both of you arrive at the apartment building; sleek black walls on the front and twenty-storeys high. Each floor is an apartment in itself, and it doesn’t take a genius to know that only the rich and wealthy stay here. By extension, that means your neighbours are either going to be complete strangers who don’t bother each other, or annoying young kids who host parties and have to be complained against.

Both of you head up to the top floor, neither of you knowing what it’ll look like—it was a gift from both your parents, saying how they picked out the best of the best for their children, and then periodically joking about wanting grandchildren. (You and Sae had completely ignored that part of the conversation.) Sae let you carry your heavy bags on your own, choosing to avoid any sort of eye contact all the way up. He’s just busy on his phone, and you can’t help feeling a little lost.

When you reach the top floor, Sae opens up the door; it’s made of heavy mahogany, slamming right back at you after he strolls in. You take a deep breath, pushing on the door to open and barely making it in, sucking it up because the last thing you want after an entirely shitty day is to have an argument.

Sae doesn’t even stop, just keeps walking, placing his suitcase in what seems to be the master bedroom. Truthfully, you wouldn’t know; this is the first time you’re even seeing the apartment. This entire place is huge, and thanks to this being on the top floor, there’s two floors and a high ceiling. All crisp and clean, walls a bright white, full contrast to the outer walls of the apartment.

Ten seconds later, Sae comes back out, finally making eye contact as he looks at you like you’re dumb for just standing there. If he does think that, he doesn’t say it out loud.

“There’s another room at the far end down the hall, you can use that one,” he tells you, matter-of-factly, as though you wouldn’t retort. (You don’t, but it’s annoying that he takes it as a given.) “And there’s only one key, but I’ll make a copy tomorrow and pass it to you.”

How romantic. The first night of your new life together and he’s relegated you to the far end of the house to sleep alone. You’re sure it wouldn’t be past him to enforce a rule of minimum contact at this point.

“Yeah, sure.”

You’re trying not to make a big deal out of this, because what would it even amount to? It’s not like you can get out of this, or else what’ll that do? Just impact your sister. But still, it completely sucks that your husband isn’t someone you love, isn’t someone who even wants to give it a shot, isn’t someone who’s willing to make himself bearable to live with.

An exhausted sigh leaves Sae’s lips as he tosses the keys onto a tray placed carefully atop the kitchen island. “I don’t think I need to remind you, but I didn’t want this and I think neither do you,” he says, his eyebags more apparent now that some of his makeup has caked off. “So I’ll keep out of your way if you keep out of mine.”

Spoken as if he truly hates your guts.

The wariness from everything that happened earlier—the wedding, the entertaining, the scepticism, your unwilling husband. What’s supposed to be a typically happy occasion has drained the complete life out of you, though it deigns to strip your hope entirely. Some nauseatingly optimistic cell in your brain is telling you that you still have to try, that it takes longer for some people to warm up to you, that if you give up then this might really just be it for the rest of your life.

So you nod your head and force a smile, even when Sae doesn’t return it, even when you know he won’t. “Mhm, okay,” you say, obediently, even though Sae just looks on at you emotionlessly, the only sliver of human that you see in him being the slight furrow of his brows. When he turns to walk back to his room, you call a goodnight! to him. All it gets you is a grunt of acknowledgement before he slams the door once he’s in.

Trudging your bags behind you, you dump them on the floor of your bedroom. The walls are pearly white, and the dresser is huge, a top-to-bottom mirror rests on the wall next to the closet. There’s even a bathroom inside, too, though you’d bet it’s smaller than the one Sae’s room has. 

It’s all very nice. Expensive, like the suite of a five-star hotel, and decorated lavishly.

But that’s all this is.

Nice. On the surface. It’s nice only to the eyes. Yet it can’t shake the foreboding feeling inside you that nags at you, warning you that Sae is just going to get even worse as you go.

Right as you’re about to spiral into a descent, you get a text from Reo.

You smile at his offer. Maybe if this was a few years ago. Maybe if both of you had acted on it when you knew the feelings were there. It’s been too long since then, everything that could’ve been is not—but what is doesn’t seem to have any hope of working out. 

Sighing to yourself, you make a mental reminder in your head to keep trying tomorrow. After all, you’re probably the only hope this sham of a marriage has at making it.

taglist: @kimvmarvel @mxplesyrvp @yuzurins @futuristicxie @kiopanxp @k0z3me @y-sabell-a @sae1toshilover @xoxojisu @karmatiz @sagejin @minnieminnie00-got7 @hearts4heidi @shiinobu-x @n1uh @prepchuu @leeyzhuo @shidouryusm @kaiserkisser

[zahri-melitor]

Tim Drake: Robin

So as a title, I have to say I can see what Meghan Fitzmartin was trying to get at, and I don’t mind the story as is. I think I would categorise it as a flawed story with interesting ideas, where part of the issue is that MegFitz ran out of space for the stories she wanted to tell, and part of the issue is as I’ve already said, the entire run could use the writing being more explicit and explanatory. Plus, it’s definitely suffering from its second plot getting cut off abruptly by cancellation – there was clearly 2 issues just yanked out, that would have provided some much needed pacing and complexity to the story.

Also Bernard, despite the development that finally arrives in issue 7, still remains somewhat of a cipher as far as personality goes the whole way through, and there conflict and the stakes in this story are so so low. So incredibly low. Everything is just too pat.

Structurally, I did like issue 7, framing it via restaurant meal courses, and us finally getting a peep at Bernard’s perspective on matters. And what we get is at least something, though it’s still pretty minimal. Bernard has drama with his parents, who if you read in (and this is the thing about so much of Fitzmartin’s writing, you have to read into the implications and hope you’re getting the ones she’s laying down) don’t like that he’s dating a guy, and also don’t like that Bernard is studying to be a chef. There’s a fairly oblique joke in the text where Tim says “you’d think they’d be proud that their kid is majoring in physics and biology”, where a friend read it as “Bernard is studying for a double major in science PLUS studying to be a chef on top of this” and I personally read it as “Tim is joking with Bernard over the fact that his parents are mad that he’s got an apprenticeship in food services rather than going to university as he was expected to, because learning to cook involves both practical physics and practical biology”. Which is supposed to be the correct reading? I can’t tell! Because Fitzmartin doesn’t spell it out!

Bernard’s parents basically being the Fanon Drakes who are mad that Bernard is not Living Up To Their Expectations (and also his parents are basically on the verge of divorce and living in separate rooms now and his mother had a single tear and begged Bernard to come home via text message to help shore up her marriage or whatever) is mildly amusing except for the way in which I find it exhausting because it just feels like straight fanfic tropes.

Bernard’s also clearly not over whatever it was that sent him in the direction of the pain cult and the chaos monsters, and he doesn’t want to talk about it. But our problem is that this should cause some sort of drama, and yet the only result is that Bernard’s like ‘I can’t/won’t help you’, and Tim accepts this and never inquires further.

Also as other people have said, ‘Bernard knows and Tim doesn’t know Bernard knows, and they never discuss this or have this cause any tension between them’ is honestly the most boring possible beat set up. If you’re going to play with levels of who knows what you need to give it stakes! Have Tim stressing about hiding things from Bernard and how that affects his relationship! Have Tim think about why he can’t tell Bernard! Have situations that read one way to Tim and another to Bernard! Have a reason that Bernard’s just patiently waiting for Tim to get around to revealing the secret to him! I like having characters who are playing identity porn with each other and hiding things and going “Bernard knows who Tim is and Tim sort of knows that Bernard knows but Bernard doesn’t know that Tim has realised that Bernard has clued in” or whatever.

The story very occasionally starts things that could actually cause some drama or stakes to emerge (the ‘Tim is dating Robin and does this cause drama with Bernard!’ moment. Kate and Tim having conflict over the chaos monsters and whether or not this is a Religion of Crime problem and if she’s been brainwashed. Etc) but then happily glides past them without digging in to actually cause that drama.

I’m also somewhat disappointed that the outcome of ‘when did everyone have realisations that they liked boys’ is ‘both Tim and Bernard realised this in the course of the pain cult date actually’. Which…eh. It’s very very ‘I never felt this way about someone before I met you, we’re not gay we just love each other’. Tim claims he never suspected it about Bernard when he was younger and Bernard claims he always suspected, which, tbh, in the context of things we do know Tim can be somewhat oblivious about these things (see Fitzmartin’s ‘I didn’t know what I was feeling’ about Kon’s death), but really Bernard? You when you were in full ‘compulsory heterosexuality, I just love women so much, why does Tim keep having girls be friends with him and want to date him’ mode, you suspected Tim liked boys? Because while I certainly can point to a lot of things over the course of Tim’s Robin run, the closest we come to anything in Willingham’s run is Tim telling Bernard his girlfriend goes to another school. Which, in the context of Tim just transferring into a new school is not that unbelievable, even in the classic stakes of ‘oh you don’t know her, she goes to another school’ girlfriends. It’s just…the boring path.

And I think that sums up a lot of this run. It’s got some interesting potential hooks. But almost without exception, whenever there comes an option between a choice that would cause drama and character development potential, or there’s a pat boring noncontroversial path, the story picks the latter. And there’s only so much nicey nice ‘don’t do anything that might be controversial, two boys dating is already controversial enough’ that I can take.

I wouldn’t have minded it if the run had been given more space, but honestly what I think it needed was getting handed over to a new writer to have a go and give a different perspective. And we haven’t had that.

[crowleysgirl56]

Book Omens! A meandering journey to reading Good Omens to my son. The finale!

Well we finished it! Here are some thoughts and observations from both my son and myself (mostly myself actually).

- did I miss something or did Hastur just not do anything further once he got out of the answer-machine and ate all the telemarketers? In the show he manifests in the Bentley then gets discorporated and sent back to hell when Crowley drives through the ball of fire on the M25. But the book just has him coming through the phone line, turning into maggots, devouring the room of telemarketers and then that’s it. Also, it’s been a while since I’ve watched season 1, do they show that the telemarketers are brought back to life because the book has one of them call Newt and then gets annoyed that they’ve lost an entire day because they think it’s still Saturday (assuming this is thanks to Adam putting the world right again). Anyway, this is all to say that I find it odd that the thread of Hastur is just left hanging like that. Which makes me wonder if he was always supposed to have a major part to play in the book’s sequel (and therefore season 3). I recently read an old interview where Pratchett said the makings of the sequel are built into the book. Could this be one of those threads?

- on the subject of Hastur my son said that while he was stuck in the answer-machine Crowley should have just turned him into The Best of Queen, and HOW THE HELL HAS NO ONE THOUGHT OF THAT?! This kid is so clever sometimes he’d make Crowley proud.

- another major thing I noticed and I’m hoping I just didn’t miss something crucial here, is it’s never explained where Crowley got the holy water from. Is it implied it was Aziraphale in the book and I just completely missed it? All of this backstory was of course included in season 1 and I’m wondering if it was included specifically because it was never explained in the book. And again, because there was no explanation, would this have been included in the sequel?

- a sudden though regarding the bikers. There’s never any indication that they were restored. I don’t know if this means anything specifically, but considering there’s the short gag at the end of the book that implies the telemarketers were returned and also the delivery man, I wonder why this didn’t happen for the bikers. Again, is this another thread for the sequel?

- I’ve taken some screen shots below of more passages in the book that made me realise why I never thought Aziraphale and Crowley were romantically coded to each other the first time I read through the book (and I think I might do a deeper dive into these passages in a separate post).

Any thoughts about this is welcome. But again, it seems to be one of those “squint to see the deeper relationship” cases here.

- I will admit however the fact that they had no problem holding hands may have been what gave people pause to think about their relationship. Though could their relationship have been framed platonically, like for example Frodo and Sam in LoTR? (don’t come at me for that comparison. I get that Frodo and Sam are shipped constantly, but Tolkien very specifically said their relationship was about platonic companionship and the type of companionship that hetero men seem to be afraid to show each other in modern times.)

- the last passage involving Warlock was really interesting. Again I couldn’t remember if it’s included in the show, but there definitely did seem to be some kind of implication that there was more to Warlock than him just being the swapped child. Again, was this another thread for the sequel? Was it implied that he would now be the new antichrist? Or could he perhaps be the second coming? Will we see him in season 3?

So, overall impressions. My son liked it but I think a lot of it went over his head (I had to stop and explain a lot of religious canon to him, a lot of the satire, and most of the jokes). He liked Death and the rest of the horsemen and also the bikers. He identified with Adam but still didn’t quite understand why Adam just didn’t use his powers for good (bless him). He didn’t really feel anything in particular for Aziraphale and Crowley (sob!). He also asked me to explain what happened season 2 and why I’m sad about it. He is also now very sad for me, and is very angry with NG.

Maybe one day he’ll read the book again for himself and find the humour much more relatable. He is interested in reading Discworld again and maybe this time will stick it out.

I personally am glad I read it again for myself. And I’m also really grateful for all the fanfic that we have that expands on the story and the characters. Thank you so much to the fandom for your fabulous stories and your love for these characters. And thanks for following along with my ramblings.

[selene-moonie]

AOT: Faith in the 'Cause' and Social vs Inherent Value

NOTE: SPOILERS for the entire series. Also, I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong here. I only hate the shitty parents. Each character worked within the worldview they were raised with, and each of their decisions matter in the story.

Let's get a few definitions out of the way to start:

The 'Cause' - whatever you believe in that's bigger than you. Saving your country, ending the titans, getting a better life.

Social Value - when your worth comes from your ability to support others or your accomplishments.

Inherent Value - the idea that everyone has individual value regardless of their social accomplishments.

There are a few different types of parents. Some raised their kids to believe in a 'cause', others didn't, and some originally believed in a cause and then started valuing their kids as individuals.

Let's start with one of the original villains - Grisha Yeager. He raised his first son to believe in the 'cause' and valued him mainly for his ability to progress this cause. He will be written into history as a monster, like his brother, but it started when Grisha and Dina removed his humanity.

Zeke valued himself so little that he got his parents killed, endured years of spinal injections (and essentially became a male brood mother which is horrifying), had no close relationships other than the one with his mentor, and died for his sins right after he finally started smelling the roses. That is a fucking tragedy if I've ever read one.

His brother didn't get it any better either. Eren grew up with more love, and less of a cause than Zeke, but Eren picked up his own cause and inadvertently copied his dad. Eren's mom is a black haired woman, and Eren kept everything secret from his loved ones till it was too late. He's also dead because he valued himself more for what he could do for his friends than actually living his life.

Which is a shame because Mikasa deserved better than beheading the man she loved. I know Eren couldn't end the cycle of violence himself, he could only save the people loved, but it sucks that he had to die to do that.

I do want to say here that the parents who pushed their kids to further the cause are the ones aware of the reality of the world, like the fact that there's a war, the discrimination against the Eldians, etc. The parents who raised their kids not to believe in a cause, but instead valued them as individuals are the parents unaware of these things.

That doesn't mean they lack awareness of their immediate reality, as in the case of Artur Braus, Sasha's father. He straight up told her she could hide out in the forest and choose to not adapt, but he would change his family traditions to cope with the changing world. Her response was to rebel by joining the military but Sasha eventually came into her own and was one of the best members of the Scouts.

I think of how Sasha and her dad were key players in making sure another Eren wasn't created in Gabi. Her entire character arc was her learning that the Paradis Eldians were people just like her. The kindness, courage, and fighting skills that Sasha brought to the table years prior paid off in Gabi's interactions with her family, which is eventually what changed her mind. I just love seeing the cycle of violence end.

Jean is another one who was brought up with inherent value. He was self-absorbed and self-interested, but also ended up having one of the biggest character changes throughout the story. Jean quickly realised that his skills weren't as useful inside the walls as outside. He also chose not to kill a child soldier, in addition to saving Reiner, despite everything Reiner had done. He was one of the pettier characters, yet he grew into a really responsible man who chose to do better than continuing the cycle of violence as well.

Now the third type of parent is the one who originally valued their children for their social value, but eventually came to love them for their inherent value. These include Karina Braun and Leonhart. Karina straight up used her son to get a leg up in their society, and Leonhart adopted Annie for that purpose which is wild to me. I'm not sure how, or why they started loving their kids after they'd gotten them into the war criminal stuff, but hey, their kids eventually started making decisions that aligned with their true identities. Annie just wanted to go back home, and even though Reiner developed borderline personality disorder and suicidal ideation, he turned out ok as well.

I do wanna talk for a sec about the fact that the ones who were valued socially engaged in the most self-sacrificial behavior. Eren was in love with Mikasa since day zero or something, but he never told her. His relationships were strained and eternally kept at arm's length for his cause. Zeke didn't even have close friends, and Pieck apparently always knew he was a liar.

Meanwhile, the ones who saw inherent value in themselves ended up being the most well-adjusted of all the kids. They were also the ones to reach out and bridge the gaps between the Eldians in the end. Sasha probably never went a day wondering if her best friends loved her, and even though Niccolo hadn't proposed, she probably fantasized about marrying him as well. She lived fully, though she became a casualty of war. I don't think the ones with the causes got to do that.

The kids who eventually learned to value themselves as individuals (Rei, Annie, and Historia) had to assimilate their shadow selves, and they also learned to live life for themselves.

Each of these kids' parents had an active role in the decisions they made and how they valued themselves. The ones who were valued socially died alone and sad, while the ones who did die but were valued inherently had happier relationships. And the others just had to find ways to deal with the shadows they had collected along the way.

[purerae]

— ROOM 42

CHAPTER ONE ;; PROLOGUE

ROOM 42 MASTERLIST

SYPNOSIS ;; Y/N, surprisingly, in detention for missed homework, teams up with the school's delinquent to investigate a mysterious door. Unable too explore further, Y/N and her friends devise a plan to sneak into the classroom after school and explore the hidden space. Their curiosity leads to a sinister game of secrets and betrayal. As they and their friends go deeper, the consequences grow. How far will they go to hide their sins? How far will they go... for her? (click on master list for more details)

(keep reading for chapter one.)

??? POV

"Why is it always me?" Zion groaned, frustration etched across his face. “The teacher's pet constantly snitches on every bloody thing I do." He slammed his fist into the wall, causing more chips to fly off the already ruined surface.

For the seventh time, Eliza, the teacher's pet, had reported Zion Minh for skipping class.

"Bro, she just doesn't like you. I skip class all the time, and she never bothers me," his friend Adrien chuckled.

Zion rolled his eyes. "She just wants to suck your dick, shut up."

"I mean, who wouldn't? Just look at me~" Adrien teased.

Zion gave him a blank stare and narrowed his crimson eyes. Adrien snickered at his own joke.

Despite their banter, Zion and Adrien were actually close friends. They had known each other since they were babies due to their parents' close work relationship.

Zion, with his dark crimson red hair and matching eyes, had a reputation as a high school delinquent. He was always ready to confront anything that seemed like a threat. Everyone in school knew better than to mess with him, except for his gang and Eliza.

Adrien, with his dirty blonde hair and khaki green eyes, was also a delinquent but less intimidating than Zion. He had a reputation as the school's playboy, often flirting with the girls. Teachers liked him, but they knew he could be mischievous at times. Only Zion and his dad had seen Adrien at his worst.

"Alright babe! Enjoy your detention, I'll see you later," Adrien chuckled, running off to the main entrance and leaving the building.

Zion grimaced at the mocking pet name and muttered a quick goodbye before heading towards Room 42, the designated detention room at the back of the school. He preferred this room to avoid the other students, as he was often tempted to pick fights with them.

Upon entering, Zion noticed a tall woman with long blonde hair sitting on a desk at the front of the classroom. He rolled his eyes, recognizing her as the one who often gave him detention.

"You're here again, Mr. Minh? You really need to step up your game before you get excluded from this school. Also, surprisingly, someone else has a detention right now in this room," she sighed, looking him up and down. "Please don't annoy her. I'll be gone for half an hour to attend a meeting. You better still be here." With that, she trudged off, her footsteps gradually fading away.

"You better still be here," Zion mimicked in a high-pitched voice, raising his hands mockingly.

He made his way to the back of the classroom, his usual spot, and started playing with his pen. After a while, boredom set in, and he decided to explore the classroom. He rummaged through the books, broke some pens, and generally acted nonchalant. Finally, he went up to a tall bookshelf and grabbed a boring science book, which he despised. With a sense of rebellion, he began vandalizing it, scribbling all sorts of things and profanities.

However, he soon noticed something in his peripheral vision. A girl with her hood up and earphones in was staring straight at him. The sound of music bled through the buds.

Feeling awkward, Zion looked up and made eye contact with the girl. She quickly rushed to the front of the class and took a seat. It then dawned on Zion that this was the person he had detention with. He rolled his eyes at the realisation, 'Great, some freak i have to share the room with for a whole ass hour…’

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Y/N L/N

Y/N was ten minutes late to detention because she couldn't find the isolated classroom. 'Of course, I'm the one who has detention at the stupid creepy classroom,' she thought with a groan, tilting her head back out of frustration

This was her first detention, and she was panicking. It happened because she had failed to submit her math homework three times in a row. It wasn't entirely her fault; she lacked the motivation and struggled to understand math for fucks sake!

As Y/N entered the room, she noticed a red-headed boy crouching down, aggressively defacing a book. He already gave her an odd impression as she wondered why he was torturing the Science book meant for younger children. She stopped her music and put her hood up, hoping to avoid any attention from him.

The boy's face was visible to her, but he seemed too absorbed in his task to notice her. It dawned on her that this was Zion Minh, the scariest person in school and Eliza's one-sided enemy. At that moment, she wished she could just run out of the classroom to avoid any potential conflict.

A/N ;; The first chapter is awful I am so sorry!! Please trust me, and it will get better as the chapters go on. comments and reblogs heavily appreciated <33

purerae &lt;3

[theheartofone]

Steel in Her Veins, Chapter: Thirty-One

Read On: AO3 | Table of Contents | Next Chapter

Characters: Fem!Reader x Roronoa Zoro

Chapter Thirty-One: Rubber

A myriad of packeted rubbers lay scattered across the table.

Chopper, usually the picture of innocence, squirms uncomfortably in his seat, his eyes fixed on the desk before him as he embarks on what is undoubtedly the most awkward conversation of his young life.

“So… when a male and a female engage in intimate intercourse…” Chopper quickly squeaks, his eyes firmly glued to his desk. “At the height of their stimulation, there’s something that occurs, called ‘ejaculat—’”

“Please. Please make it stop.” Raya’s stricken voice comes out in restrained muffles through the air-locked seal of her hands, whirls of hot steam continuously needling out from the gaps of her fingers.  

“Ch-Chopper, it’s not what you think,” Zoro blurts out, squirming uncomfortably in his undersized chair. “W-we were just... training. Yeah – yeah, we… we were sparring.”

Raya’s mouth gives way to a miserable moan, shooting the samurai a withering glare from between her blackened fingers. “No. You’re stupid. You’re actually stupid. I think it’s finally hit me.”

Zoro’s eyes narrow as he turns his head, his expression forming a menacing snarl. He’s about to unleash a sharp retort when Chopper, sensing the tension mounting between the two, quickly intervenes. The little doctor knows all too well what’s coming next - another pointless squabble that would only serve to further strain their already fraught relationship. 

With a quick dart of his furry little frame, Chopper positions himself squarely between the two, effectively diffusing the situation before it can escalate any further.

“Zoro. Training?” Chopper repeats, his tone sceptical. “C-completely naked?”

Zoro pauses. Slowly, almost comedically, red begins to colour the samurai’s face as he splutters for an explanation, something – anything – to get out of this Gods awful sex-talk with Chopper.

“Uh... well, yeah, you know...” he stammers, his words faltering under both Raya and Chopper’s unwavering scrutiny. “Sword-fighting… Cardio… Practicing… You know…”

“Just stop,” Raya whispers, looking wholly ashen.

Chopper sighs and takes his little red hat off from his head.

“Guys, it’s not like I’m enjoying having to do this,” he began, his voice tinged with exasperation. “But as your doctor, it’s my responsibility to see that you’re both being… safe.”

The room falls into a suffocating silence, each word from Chopper hanging in the air like an impending storm. Zoro and Raya avoid each other’s eyes, the tension between them thickening with every passing moment. 

Chopper clears his throat, his eyes darting between the two. “Are either of you… o-on any sort of contraceptive, by—”

“No!” Raya instantly interjects, growing redder by the second. She fumes in her seat, never thinking she’d be asked these questions by the one crewmate she could only see as an innocent baby boy. 

Chopper’s eyes widen in disbelief as he realises the weight of her answer. 

“B-But you both know how babies happen… right?” he chokes out.

And in an instant, Zoro’s throat tightens as he chokes on his own saliva, his eye bulging comically wide in sheer shock. Meanwhile, Raya buries her face deeper into her palms, as if trying to conceal herself from the embarrassment that engulfs the room. Thick, chugging clouds of smoke rise above her head, practically begging her to hop aboard the humility train.

“Chopper… Last night was really… irresponsible, I know. We drank too much, it was a really weird moment for us… and I know you mean well with these but…” Raya hesitantly nudges the condom packets toward Chopper, her movements betraying her discomfort. “What we did was a one-time thing. A mistake. A disaster. A poor—”

Zoro’s teeth grind together audibly, a deep growl bubbling up from the depths of his throat like a menacing animal. With a swift motion, he jerks his head to the side, fixing the awkward girl with a piercing glare that could rival the intensity of a thousand suns. 

Insulting his prowess in the bedroom? He won’t let that slide. 

“Funny. ’Cause I saw otherwise - when I had your lips wrapped tightly around my finger,” Zoro retorts through clenched teeth, his words dripping with pure bitterness. The following few words rumble out quieter from his lips, his body angling towards the warmth of her body. “Or did we forget that little moment?”

Raya’s eyes widen in horror as Zoro’s words hang heavy in the air, the heat of embarrassment consuming her hair like wildfire. Her mind races to comprehend what Zoro just said, struggling to grasp the reality of their drunken escapade.

“I-I don’t think we remembered last night quite too clearly, then,” Raya chokes out, her voice barely above a whisper as she stares straight ahead, unable to meet anyone’s gaze. “We were very intoxicated. We didn’t do such a thing.”

He crosses his arms, tilting his head at an angle as a smirk plays at the corners of his lips. 

“Didn’t stop you from locking your legs around me so desperately,” he lowly whispers.

Chopper’s choked surprise fills the room, his tongue nearly rolling out of his mouth in disbelief, while Raya’s face flushes with rage at Zoro’s audacity. Her fists clench at her sides, nails digging into her palms as she struggles to contain her fury.

“You’re despicable,” she hisses, her voice dripping with venom.

Zoro’s smirk widens, his eyes glinting with amusement as he revels in their verbal sparring. “Oh, am I? Or are you just too ashamed to admit the truth?”

Chopper watches the exchange with growing concern, his brow furrowing as he searches for a way to diffuse the escalating tension between the two.

“Guys, come on,” he interjects weakly, his voice barely audible over the simmering hostility in the room. “Let’s-“

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Raya screams, sparks of fire engulfing her brows in menacing stabs. “You—you’re so… insufferable!”

Zoro shrugs nonchalantly, edging himself closer to her, his smirk never faltering in the face of her fury. 

“And yet, you can’t seem to stay away.”

“Fuck you,” she spits out.

“Fuck you, too,” Zoro smirks, his tone mocking as he relishes in their verbal exchange. “How'd it go again after that? ‘Fuck m-’”

With a screech of a chair toppling over, Raya storms out of the medic cabin, her exit abrupt and final, leaving Zoro with his unfinished sentence hanging in the air.

But Raya’s fury is far from quenched. Like a hurricane flown from the burning hells, she lunges towards her smithing equipment in one smooth movement before hurtling down the deck, running away from anyone in her line of sight - until, she realises, that there seems to be virtually no other person on the deck.

She stands there aloof, looking around in complete silence.

No one's here. The Sunny, for once, creaks silently across the sea, with no trail of voices echoing against its lumber.

She looks around, scanning for clues and then suddenly, warmth spreads across her chest as the realisation kicks in.

She stares at the anchor that's lodged into the depths of the sea.

They’ve finally reached an island.

While she was in there, bickering with the stupid asshole, they were in the midst of anchoring. Law’s ship floats behind the Sunny, anchored to its tail like a sodden trail of misfortune, but the sand that brushes against its metal is undeniable. 

It’s an island. A temporary escape. From... him.

And just as suddenly, she takes a flying leap out of the ship.

Her feet sink into warm, golden sand, enveloping her ankles in a soft embrace. The sensation is pure bliss, and for a moment, she forgets about everything else. The sun beats down on her skin, its intense heat offering a welcome respite from the cold, sterile walls of the ship. 

And with a war cry, she begins running.

She runs so hard across the landscape that her lungs breathe fire, and her metals screech in desperation. Her legs kick from beneath her like a stallion in the midst of overgrown fields.

Everything’s a blur; the world spins, and her thoughts are all jumbled in a mess of unorganised breaths. For one moment, for one instant, she lets go. 

For one moment, for one instant, she allows herself to forget everything. 

She breathes in the saltiness of the air and lets her feet feel the warmth of the ground as it slowly paves its way into the corners of her pumping heart. 

She lets go until she no longer can, when her legs can’t keep up with her anger, and her heart begs for respite, and all her metals go crashing against the dense ground.

The world is silent except for her loud breaths, and Raya stands there, staring helplessly at the glimmering sword.

She feels a sharp prickle behind her eyes, an unwelcome sensation threatening to spill over into tears. 

What was she thinking?

Her chest heaves intensely.

What was she thinking, allowing herself to succumb to her wants, to desecrate a dynamic with a person that did not need meddling with?

What is she doing, enjoying herself? Grinning, and drinking, and talking, and tinkering away in her beautiful little workshop on the top of a beautiful ship; meanwhile, Suki is hanging onto his life by a thread. 

She clenches her fists, the sand slipping through her fingers as she struggles to contain herself.

And why him? She could’ve chosen anyone… anyone except for him. And for some reason, she let her, what, lust take over?

Instantly, she shakes her head. She does not lust for Zoro. No. She won’t let that happen.

She falls into the warmth of the sand, the sun casting a golden glow over her skin, the waves lapping so warmly from a faraway distance. It’s been an eternity since she last felt the solid earth beneath her feet, an eternity spent adrift on the boundless sea. But this, she realises, is her reality now—a life suspended between sky and sea, all for the sake of him. For Suki.

All for the sake of Suki.

Her gaze drifts to the sword cradled in her lap, Suki’s sword, a silent testament to her unwavering belief in his survival. She’s avoided it until now, afraid of what its touch might awaken within her.

Today, however, she reaches out to it, her fingers tracing the contours of its hilt with a mixture of reverence and trepidation. She understands now that avoiding his belongings only serves to betray her dwindling resolve. And she won’t allow herself to do that. She’ll let anything else to break inside of her except for her faith in that old man’s life. 

So she sets about her task with a determination born of desperation, each stroke of the blade a whispered prayer, a vow to keep it sharp and ready for Suki’s inevitable return. With each pass of the whetstone, she imbues it with her unwavering faith, willing it to serve as a promise to seeing him again.

She ignores the searing pain in her arm, the steady drip of blood from her wounded fingers, focusing solely on the task at hand. Raya ignores the blood that tears through the skin of her fingers as she ruthlessly continues to sharpen and refine the blade.

The world fades away, replaced by the rhythmic scrape of steel against stone, the only sound that matters in her universe of silver.

A sharp jab to her arm breaks her trance, the syringe containing Chopper’s temporary cure dully tumbling to the ground. But she hardly notices, her mind consumed by the singular purpose of her work. She presses on, her wounds growing bigger, her movements fuelled by determination and devotion, until the blade gleams with an otherworldly brilliance. 

A pair of sandy footsteps soon break that trance.

As their eyes meet, countless emotions flicker across Raya’s face - a mixture of surprise, heated resignation, and a hint of vulnerability. Zoro stands before her, a stalwart figure against the backdrop of the sinking sun. His typically steely gaze softens, revealing a trace of concern that simmers beneath the surface.

Raya’s exhale is heavy with weariness as she leans her sword against her thigh, the weight of her exhaustion and frustration palpable in the air. “I’m really not up for a fight right now,” she mutters, her voice carrying the burden of her fatigue. She raises a hand to shoo him away. “Off you go.”

Zoro’s response is swift, a shake of his head accompanied by a determined expression. “That’s not why I’m here.”

With deliberate steps, he closes the distance between them, his eyes narrowing as he notices the subtle tremor in her hands. His chest tightens with a mixture of concern and guilt as he observes the way her fingers clench and unclench, a silent testament to the turmoil raging within her.

And then he sees them – the raw wounds that mar her delicate skin, stark against the soft sand beneath their feet. His breath catches in his throat, a pang of distress coursing through him as he takes in the sight.

Clamping his teeth together, he suppresses the urge to voice his concern, his jaw tightening with resolve as he reaches for the worn bandana wrapped around his own arm. With practised movements, he unravels the cloth, his fingers tracing the frayed edges with reverence and regret.

Each fold of the fabric ruffles as his skin kisses hers. He wraps the bandana around her injured fingers with gentle yet purposeful movements, his touch tentative and uncharacteristically soft.

They sit in a cocoon of silence, the rhythmic melody of the waves crashing against the shore the only sound between them. Zoro’s gaze remains fixed on the ground, his fingers intertwined with hers in a silent symphony of solidarity.

Finally, breaking the stillness, Zoro’s voice cuts through the quiet like a gentle breeze. 

“I went too far,” he confesses, his words barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

Raya’s response is equally soft, tinged with exhaustion and resignation. “S’okay. Me too.”

The silence stretches on, punctuated only by the rhythmic sound of waves crashing against the shore. The salty scent of the sea fills the air, mingling with the fading warmth of the setting sun. Neither Zoro nor Raya feels the need to fill the void with words; simply being next to each other, sharing in the quiet peace of the moment, is enough for now.

Time seems to slow as they sit side by side, watching as the sky transforms into a canvas of vibrant colours, painted with orange, pink, and gold streaks. The horizon blurs, the boundary between sea and sky merging into an indistinct line.

Then, as the last remnants of daylight fade into dusk, Raya turns to Zoro, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. The weight of her question hangs heavy in the air, the gravity of her words palpable even in the fading light.

“Can I ask you a serious question?” she whispers, her voice barely audible above the gentle rustle of the breeze. Zoro meets her gaze, his expression softening with concern and curiosity. He nods, wordlessly encouraging her to continue.

The tension between them crackles like electricity, a palpable energy charging the air around them. Raya’s heart pounds in her chest, and the anticipation of Zoro’s response causes her breath to catch in her throat. She searches his face for any sign of his feelings, but his expression remains inscrutable, his eyes betraying nothing.

“How did you feel, really? Having to force yourself not to help Suki?” Her voice trembles with emotion, the vulnerability in her question laying bare the depths of her turmoil.

Instinctively, Zoro’s finger rises to brush away a stray tear from her cheek, his touch gentle and comforting. His gaze lingers on her lips for a moment, a fleeting and inexplicable hesitation flickering in his eyes.

He exhales heavily, his breath mingling with the salty air. “Haunted,” he admits, his voice weighted with a sense of heaviness. “I’m haunted by it.”

Raya’s chest tightens at his words, the weight of his confession sinking in like an anchor dragging her down. She feels a surge of emotion welling up inside her, but she suppresses it, unwilling to let herself unravel in front of him.

Silence envelops them once more, thick and palpable, as if it were a living, breathing entity settling between them. Raya’s nod is almost imperceptible, a subtle acknowledgement of the truth that lingers between them, a fragile bridge spanning the chasm of their unspoken words. It’s not an apology, but in that moment, it’s enough.

Zoro grunts softly, the sound breaking through the stillness like a stone cast into a placid pond. His gaze drifts to the sword nestled in Raya’s lap, a relic of a haunted past. 

“Is that your old man’s?”

Raya’s eyes follow his, a bittersweet smile tugging at the corners of her lips. 

“Yeah,” she replies quietly, her voice a whisper carried by the breeze. “Just freshening her up before she reunites with her owner.” 

Zoro nods, his fingers inching closer to the gleaming metal as if drawn by an invisible force. 

“How... how do you get it so sharp?” he asks, his curiosity piqued by the intricacies of blade maintenance. There’s a genuine fascination in his voice, a hunger for knowledge tempered by a deep-seated respect for the craftsmanship before him.

A faint smirk dances across Raya’s lips, her eyes alight with a mischievous glint. “Wow, Roronoa. You wanna learn? From me?” she teases. “Are you sure? I might stab you in the back once I catch you off-guard.” 

Zoro shrugs nonchalantly, though his eyes betray a hint of genuine interest. “You do that, I’ll cut your equipment in half again.”

Raya’s laughter dances on the breeze, a melody of warmth amidst the cooling evening air. “Fair warning, then. Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she quips, her eyes alight with playful mischief as they lock with Zoro’s.

With a gentle touch, Raya guides Zoro’s hands, each movement purposeful and sure. She demonstrates the art of blade maintenance with practiced precision, her guidance a testament to her skill and expertise.

Their proximity grows intimate as they work together, a silent understanding passing between them with each shared moment. It’s a dance of mentorship and camaraderie, their movements fluid and harmonious.

From behind, their silhouettes merge into one—a small bear embracing a larger one. Raya’s slender form nestles against Zoro’s broad shoulders, her breath soft against his skin as she leans in to inspect the sword. Zoro’s heart quickens at the closeness, his senses heightened by her presence.

Their hands, a study in contrast, find a natural rhythm as they interlace. Zoro’s rough, calloused palms envelop Raya’s calloused fingers, their touch a symphony of strength and grace. 

“So what you gotta do first, is hold her like this...” 

For a brief instant, time seems to stand still as they linger in the quiet intimacy of the moment. The gentle rhythm of their breaths mingles with the soft scrape of metal against stone, creating a symphony of sound that fills the air around them.

“So,” Zoro clears his throat, breaking the tranquil silence, “When’s my last sword gonna be fixed?”

The question hangs in the air, and Raya feels the air go out of her lungs. “Soon, I think,” she manages to force out, her voice strained with the weight of unspoken emotions.

Zoro’s brow furrows slightly at her response, a flicker of concern dancing in his eyes. “You know,” he murmurs almost to himself, his gaze distant as if lost in thought, “I wish you fixed that one first.”

Raya’s curiosity is piqued, her gaze narrowing slightly as she meets his eyes. “Why’s that?” she questions, her voice tinged with suspicion.

“Nothing, really. It… belonged to someone I knew,” Zoro replies cryptically, his voice barely above a whisper - as if sharing a secret too precious to speak aloud.

A surge of surprise courses through Raya, her heart skipping a beat at the unexpected revelation. “Who?” she demands, her voice trembling. “W-who? What was their name?”

Zoro pauses, turning to face her fully. His breath lays warmly against her skin, lips barely millimetres apart as he regards her with a questioning frown. 

“Why d’ya wanna know so bad?” 

Raya shakes her head, her eyes locked with his. “Tell me,” she implores, her voice barely above a whisper. “Her name. Tell me her name.”

Zoro’s eyes narrow at her persistence, but he leans closer, curiosity evident in his gaze.

“Kuina,” he answers quietly.

Before Raya can process the significance of his words, a sudden, sharp jolt runs through Zoro’s body, causing her to gasp in shock. Zoro recoils, his hand jerking back as if stung by unseen forces. His eyes widen in shock, accusingly locking with Raya’s.

She looks down, her heart pounding in panic. Blood seeps through Zoro’s palms, a gaping wound tearing through his skin.

Her hands come into view, and for a second, it feels like her body has stopped functioning.

She stares at her blackened palm, slightly tilting it under the light to see it… shining.

Silver adorns her skin like scales, glittering in what could only be called a menacing set of sharp steel.

“Raya! Raya!” Nami cries as she hurtles towards them from the forest, her words tumbling out in a frantic rush. “There’s a lead! I found a lead – I-I…  Raya…?”

[thelov3lybookworm]

So for that Kenji request 😁 I've had a plot in mind abt Kenji and reader being enemies to lovers (since childhood, they hate e/o after castle rajes them in) practically and then both of them are sent as undercover soldiers and then by the time of 'ignite me' or 'unravel me' what happens is that the reader is always closed off abt her trauma but then one day she just breaks down and opens up to him and Kenji comforts her (?) And either one of them realises that the energy they put into hating each other is actually liking and Juliette is stuck in the middle of their mutual pining. IM SORRY FOR THIS LONG REQUEST BUT I HAD THIS SCENARIO IN MIND FOR TOO LONG AND I COULDN'T PUT IT INTO WORDS. Also it's SLOW burn and we see their relationship progress over the years 🥰

Undercover

Summary: Y/n is being sent on a mission, and she's rather be dead.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: heh im back love! sorry this took so long to write, but here it is finally! I've decided to make this a series, as it would make more sense that way.

(also, its been so long since i read the series, so ill have to do some of my ✨research ✨ while writing)

enjoy!

•○🌑○•

Y/n hated mornings, as any normal person would.

Of course, not many people were normal in Omega point.

She hated waking up so early, hated hearing the happy mindless chatter that surrounded the breakfast table in omega point, as if it was not the worst time of the day ever.

And the thing she hated most about mornings?

Him.

Kenji Kishimoto.

Whenever she saw him, she had this irrational yet completely justified need to strangle the living daylights out of him.

He was one of the abnormal people around here.

Y/n simply could not understand how someone could be so cheerful all the time, and it got on her nerves whenever he sent her a mocking smirk towards where she would be sulking in the corner.

She wanted to punch and/or kick him in the fucking balls, only because she wasn't picky.

The line for breakfast was moving exceptionally slower today, and Y/n was just about to scream in frustration when someone placed a hand on her shoulder.

Y/n whipped her head around, ire blazing through her, ready to give a piece of her mind to whoever thought it a good idea to touch her, especially so early on, hoping it would lessen her irritation, then froze, cursing her own luck.

There stood the Kenji loving old bastard, Castle, a smile on his face. Kenji stood behind him, a confused look on his face.

"Castle." She intoned, trying to smile back at him.

Castle glanced back at Kenji before meeting Y/n's gaze again. "Y/n. Haven't had your breakfast yet?"

Y/n resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she lifted the tray she was holding, giving him her best attempt at a sheepish smile.

"Hmm. I was hoping you'd be free, but it's alright. Meet me in my office after you are done. I have an important mission for you."

Y/n nodded, turning away from the old man as the line proceeded further.

•○🌑○•

The dim lights of the corridor led her towards the small space Castle called his office, wondering what this mission could be.

What concerned her more was why Kenji was with Castle.

It could be nothing, she knew, but still she could not help but wonder if he would be a partner in this mission.

The moment Y/n reached the door to Castle's office, she paused with her hand on the door handle, listening closely to the raised voices from within.

"Why her?" That was, unfortunately, Kenji.

"Because she is our only last option! No one else is eligible for this task, an those who are do not want to go." Castle replied, and Y/n ignored the sadness in her chest at being the last resort.

Was she not good enough to be the first choice? Was she so bad that she was being chosen only because no one else wanted to do this task, whatever it was?

Y/n shook her head, twisting the door handle and walking in, a neutral expression on her face as if she had not heard anything that had been said.

Kenji stood there, fuming, while Castle looked exasperated.

As soon as she entered, Castle smiled at her, shooting a look at a glaring Kenji.

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Yes, about that." Castle took a deep breath, glancing at Kishimoto once more before speaking.

"You have been chosen to go to sector 45 as undercover spies along with Kenji."

Oh hell no.

•○🌑○•

tagging no one because you might not have read the series and i dont want to tag you unnecessarily if you dont want to be tagged 😉

[quidfree]

hello! i've followed you to indulge in your TSH content, having just finished the book and your fanfic Sober II (Melodrama) back to back! (i'm destroyed!!)

i'm wondering if you've given any thought to whether Richard (Tartt's Richard, or yours) is gay or maybe bisexual? he ofc probably would not make that distinction himself - given the time period, or his aversion to that kind of self reflection, or the apparent finality of his relationship with Francis, or maybe all of the above - but it's fun to think about now, especially myself being someone who now IDs as a lesbian after 10 years of IDing as bi.

thank you for your service 🫡

hello! love your username btw. and thank you, glad to have you in the quidfree extended tartt community.

i like the 'tartt's richard or yours' distinction- i would say i do make an effort so that (to me at least) my richard is a plausible iteration of hers, i.e. i do not like to write so that the characters are 'my' versions unless i think the source material is bad (or at least bad in that specific way). but some of my less serious tsh material veers further into the 'my' side of the scale, for sure. anyway all that to say i don't have separate sets of thoughts on 'both' richards, it's more that there's some stuff i'm 100% on being in canon and some stuff i know i extrapolated into the extended materials my tsh fic constitute.

all that aside, i actually do not have strong feelings on whether richard is gay or bisexual. i think both have strong canon grounding and present similar but slightly different psychologies of the character. the obvious thing is that richard is repressing his attraction to men, but whether he's also comphet in his attraction to women is debatable. he's consistently attracted to them and sleeps with/dates them across all of canon, but on the other hand the key female love interests for him are 1) judy, whose interest he doesn't reciprocate 2) mona, who he sleeps with post murder in a fugue state 3) camilla, who he deifies as a feminine ideal and also always lauds the androgynous beauty/looks she shares with her brother of and 4) sophie, who does lend the most credence to him actually being into girls but also is someone he latches onto when his whole group has deserted him and then fails to emotionally connect with despite several years of dating. of course that could be the trauma, the repression, or both! but my point is there's evidence both ways, no pun intended. richard has very distinct ways of thinking about men and women but it's not as simple as one thing- there's his own self-perception/masculinity, his sexism, his homophobia, and his sexuality all playing a part.

you're right that he wouldn't make the distinction himself, though- either way, his canon thought process is very much 'well i'm not one of those' and that's a catch-all. if and when he gains self-awareness it would have to be through a prolonged relationship of some kind, e.g. with francis in sober ii-verse, because one-offs he can excuse and repress. which is why i think once that sort of long-term realisation happened he would think that he had been lying to himself/everyone the whole time beforehand and secretly consider himself a homosexual (regardless of whether this would be accurate).

i think modern day richard would be more likely to call himself bisexual regardless of which option you go with as more likely. you know that quote from obama's biography about reading marx to get with bisexual college girls... that's somehow richard-coded but in the sense that he thinks calling himself 'flexible' or whatever lets him sound liberated but plausibly heteronormative. in any setting francis delights in the corner he paints himself into.

[writing-house-of-m]

Addiction

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Talks of drinking and drugs. Sexual themes but nothing completely explicit. Toxic relationship. Manipulation. Cheating.

Word count: 3159

Summary: You can't stop yourself from falling under Wanda's spell

A/N: I thought of this when I heard the line "There's something about the way you look tonight" from the song Billie Bossa Nova by Billie Eilish. I actually didn't realise how similar this was to the song until I listened to it again then tweaked it to fit the song a bit more. Also, this is very different to what I usually write so I'd appreciate any comments letting me know what you think. As always, enjoy!

CHECK THE WARNINGS BEFORE READING, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT MEDIA YOU CONSUME

These parties were becoming more and more of a nuisance with how often you were being forced to attend them.

There was no point in you being here.

Happy people having fun, you would roll your eyes more if you could.

A final space is waiting at the bar as if it is reserved for you. Taking the seat you order a drink then look around. Seeing the different groups of people chatting away does nothing to help you. You really do not want to be here.

You turn your back on the excited murmur, trying to drown it all out whilst waiting for your drink. You wish you could have ordered something stronger, anything to cover up the bitterness in your mouth. The gum in your mouth now feels like you are chewing on plastic. It is just something to distract you anyway.

When the bartender places your drink in front of you, you immediately take a sip. The ice in your glass clinks against the edges when you turn in your seat to look at the crowd of people that fill the room once more.

Pretentious is one word to describe them. People who want nothing more than to look important. Elite. When really everybody is just as scared as the next person to lose their deluxe lifestyle.

Not long later your head turns to the entrance when two people arrive. Your gaze moves along with them as they walk into the venue, arm in arm, greeting different people as they pass. The 'perfect' couple.

It makes you sick but when you try to pull your eyes away you can't. There is something about the way she looks tonight. She always did look good in red.

It isn't as strong as it can be but she will always have you under her spell. Your attention is drawn away when a hand brushes her cheek. A hand that isn't yours. No. It is from the one she chose in place of you.

The action is enough to get you to look away as if someone has thrown poison in your eyes.

You take another sip of your drink and just as you expected it does nothing to calm you. It is like there is no taste. All that is left in your mouth is a sourness since she left you.

The woman who haunts your dreams isn't yours anymore. These stupid parties are an additional reminder of that. It is bad enough you have to see them every day around the compound together.

You can't even look him in the eye. Your mind is filled with thoughts you shouldn't have about her anymore.

It's not your fault you know what she looks like under that dress. The intoxicating sounds she makes when you press all the right buttons. How sweet she tastes. Everything is dull in comparison.

You miss being able to steal that nectar from her lips at random times of the day. It has changed your pallet forever. Nothing will ever compare, no matter how hard you try to replace it.

The weight on your chest, that was supposed to get lighter with time, just gets heavier. Guilt always lingering in the back of your mind.

A sarcastic voice pulls you out before you can spiral any further, "And here I thought you would be pouting." Natasha. Always there to make you realise how childish you are behaving.

Natasha was the biggest advocate for you and Wanda. She still hopes one day you will reconcile, even with that walking toaster in the way.

You clench your jaw, a probable gloomy look resting on your face as you let out a sigh and look down at the glass leaving your hands damp with condensation.

"Please don't, Nat," you try to push her away. Knowing your friend though, this was long from over.

"What? I just came over to see if you wanted to dance," she says casually but you know there is a reason for it.

Your eyes fall to the dance floor. Wanda's arms are wrapped around the wrong person. She looks happy, a slight blush on her cheeks that makes her look youthful. You can't help but feel jealous. She used to look at you like that.

The weight on your chest grows heavier. You knew you wouldn't make it through tonight. It's why you didn't want to come but 'appearances need to be upheld'. Who are you to not meet Tony's demands? He has given you a place to live after all.

"No." It comes out a little more aggressively than you want it to but you know Nat won't take it personally.

"Ouch," she feigns hurt, "Is this how you treat a lady that wants you?"

A scoff leaves your lips and you smile a little at the joke, deciding to reciprocate, "I'll let you know when a lady approaches me," you smirk.

Natasha chuckles, glad for the win to get you out of your head, even if it is just for a second.

"You know how Steve feels about gum at these functions," she says, extending her arm, a napkin resting in the palm of her hand for you to spit out the flavorless substance into.

As Natasha scrunches the paper into a ball leaving it on the bar top you explain, "It distracts me from wanting to put a 'death stick' in my mouth."

"Well, I could always distract you if that's what you wanted," she flirts with an eyebrow raised.

You shake your head at her antics. A small smile is on your face as you look down into your drink. There are darker shade spots on your pants from where droplets of water have rolled off your glass.

Natasha takes the tumbler from your hand and places it next to the discarded napkin. She then pulls you from your seat, "Come on. Dance with me."

You let her guide you, keeping your eyes to the ground so you don't see the green ones you used to wake up to.

When you make it to the crowded floor Natasha places your hand on her waist, the other one following shortly after as she wraps hers behind you, drawing you in and resting her head against your chest.

It's a slow song so Natasha stays close to you, unbeknownst to you she is keeping an eye out for Wanda.

Getting bored of looking at the ground you close your eyes and take in the warmth that Natasha provides with her closeness. The comforting press of her chest against you, her shampoo invading your nostrils, soothing as you sway lightly to the soft music. You were never good at dancing but this, you could do.

It must be a few songs later because the people who surround you are different to those who were there when you first arrived.

There is a misstep on your part and you bump into someone, an automatic 'sorry' falls from your lips before you see who it is.

"It's okay," Wanda smiles at you and you almost forget how to breathe. You shouldn't be here. You have been doing so well breaking old habits.

Natasha links her arm in yours standing next to you as you avert your eyes, clearing your throat. You can't look at either of them, especially the android. The bitter taste you are so familiar with makes itself known at the back of your throat.

Vision and Wanda exchange a few words of greeting with you and Nat before Vision looks in the distance. He then excuses himself saying Tony was calling him over.

The habit of you trying to stop clenching your teeth is really being tested right now, you can't help yourself so you give in to the action. Especially when Natasha decides to play wingwoman, excusing herself next and telling you to dance with Wanda now that you were both alone.

This is not what you needed. All your hard work is about to come crumbling down and you know it.

Natasha often talks about how good you are for one another and how she wants to see the two of you flourish once more.

If only she knew.

All you want to do is run away. Get as far away from Wanda as possible but old habits die hard. The smell of her perfume and inviting smile doing nothing to help your resolve.

Wanda takes her position, arms around your neck. Your hands rest on her waist keeping her at, a literal, arms length away. You fall into step with the music, this is all a familiar well rehearsed dance between you two.

She tries to hold your eye contact but you look behind her, "I saw you by the bar, but you don't smell like your usual order," Wanda analyses. "You stopped smoking too?" She adds inquisitively. Your reply comes as a slow nod, still looking at a random spot in the distance behind the band not wanting to get hooked by her gaze.

"You're doing better than you ever did when we were together, malysh," your jaw clenches hard. Whether it is because of accusation or the pet name, you are not sure.

Wanda can feel how tense you are. Your shoulders are practically up to your ears so she strokes the back of your hair, fingernails lightly scratching the sensitive area.

"Just relax," she whispers, making you exhale slowly. Her actions and warm breath fanning over your face makes you do just that, your eyelids falling slowly, shoulders dropping evidently, "That's it baby, it's just you and me."

She pulls you closer so she can whisper directly in your ear. Her words calm you down unlike any drink or narcotic you've consumed before.

Her voice is soothing, so much so that you are under her spell once more. She has never needed to use her powers to have you under her control. You were always weak whenever it came to Wanda. "Let's get out of here," your head bobs up and down, slowly agreeing to her command. You allow yourself to get pulled along by her, out on to a private balcony.

It is like you are on autopilot, turning into the character she likes you to be. You just want to make her happy after all.

Wanda rounds a corner where you both know nobody inside will be able to see the two of you. Facing you she walks backwards, holding onto your jacket. She leans against the wall pulling you closer. One of your hands holds your weight beside her head as the other goes to squeeze her waist.

Wanda pulls you by your collar to close the distance. Your lips were always much better at dancing, especially against hers.

It wasn't always like this. You were heartbroken when she left you, you still are heartbroken, and you know it's wrong because she is with Vision now. But you still crave her. She is an addiction you cannot break. So you will take whatever she gives you - the best and worst kind of torture.

Heat travels up your neck, filling your cheeks and the tips of your ears. Your senses are overtaken by Wanda. Her sweet taste invades your mouth, her nails scratching your scalp as she holds onto you tighter when the kiss gets rougher.

You press your body against her tightly, your hands finding the bottom of her dress pulling it up. Her heavy breathing is interrupted by a gasp as the cool air hits her warm skin. You take this as the perfect moment to move your kisses to her neck and lift her so her legs are wrapped around you. That is when Wanda feels the bulge in your pants.

"I hope you weren't thinking of anyone else but me, malysh," she says between breaths.

There is an innocent pout on her face when you look at her and mindlessly reply, "Only you."

Your lips land on Wanda's as she tries to rub herself against you but you hold her still, pressing her against the wall even more, making her grunt in frustration when she can feel the hardness pressing into her. "I need more," she exasperates.

You roll your hips with hers, giving her the smallest bit of satisfaction for a moment, making her moan loudly. "Please sweetheart. I need you, you know what I like," she holds your jaw roughly, nails digging into your skin. "No one can fuck me like you do."

Her words almost make you lose all of the self control you still have left, but you come to your senses when a cold gust of wind hits you, making you remember where you are. "Not here," you whisper. You then leave a trail of kisses along her jaw finishing with a peck on her lips.

You let her down and keep out of sight as you walk hastily to get to your room. Wanda smirks, biting her lip when you make it to the elevator. She pushes you against the far wall then attacks your lips and neck. Unbuttoning your shirt to leave a mark or two on your collar bone. You don't get the same privilege.

No one can know.

When you finally make it to your floor, you enter your room only wanting to make Wanda feel good. The little voice in the back of your mind reminding you she is no longer yours is forgotten as your rendezvous continues.

…

Wanda sleeps against you. The sound of her light breathing filling the air.

Her warmth and having her tangled in your sheets comes at the cost of your sanity. To you it is but a small price to pay.

No one knows about this and it has to stay that way.

You can't even tell Nat. She understands why Wanda initially broke up with you but now that you were doing better she has hoped you would have reconciled if not for Vision.

You try to take in the peace of the night. You try not to think about the guilt that lingers after you fall into bed with each other. You try not to think about the fact that Wanda will have already disappeared by the time you wake up in the morning. You try not to think about the rehearsed repeated lie you tell Nat when she asks where you disappeared to before the night ended.

The woman in your arms will always be the love of your life. She will always take advantage of you because she knows she can and you will do whatever you can to get whatever crumbs she will give you.

…

Falling to sleep always came easier when she was in your arms. You stir awake when you can no longer feel the comfortable weight on your chest.

Lifting your head, you are confused when you see her almost out of bed, "Wanda?" You ask groggily, reaching for her wrist.

There is no reply but your mind catches up, it is the time of the night where she leaves you for the arms of another. You let out a sigh and drop your head into the plush pillow whispering, "Stay."

"Go back to sleep, Y/n," Wanda lays next to you, stroking your hair. "You know I have to go."

"Please stay," your voice is barely audible because of the tight knot that has presented itself in your throat.

You don't mean to sound so desperate but you are tired and far too broken to pretend that you are okay.

Wanda wraps her arms around you as she continues to stroke your hair. She shushes you and whispers sweet words in your ear as your face presses against her bare chest.

It doesn't take long for you to fall into the depths of slumber once more.

The next time you wake up, Wanda is gone. The once warm sheets are now cold, holding another secret which costs you a piece of yourself.

The bitter taste has returned to your mouth once more as you get up to start your day.

It is long before most people will be getting up considering the party the night before. You pick out a loose t-shirt and some sweats so you can take advantage of the empty kitchen before anyone else gets up.

You start up the coffee machine and wait for it to heat, trying to find peace in this quiet morning. Just like all good things, it comes to an end, "Morning stranger," you hear the husky voice of your friend.

You try not to roll your eyes, knowing she would have some way of knowing even without seeing your face, "Looks like someone had some fun," Natasha says pointing out the marks on your neck. "What was her name?"

After you pour two mugs of the hot beverage you turn to face her with a tight-lipped smile, "Distraction," taking a small sip after.

The coffee is not strong enough to cover the distaste in your mouth.

"Okay, fine. Don't tell me," she says as she gets closer. "But I am glad you had some fun," Natasha says, rounding the island to pick up the mug you left for her.

You raise an eyebrow, "Don't I always?" Which Natasha scoffs at. "If you don't mind, I'm going to finish this in my room before our training."

As you walk back you hear a door open and close, figuring it will be Steve, you don't look up until you recognise the two voices.

You divert your attention from Vision as soon as you make contact with his synthetic blue eyes, your sluggish steps never stopping. The guilt creeps up the back of your throat, so you do your best to clear it.

Vision greets you first, "Good morning, agent Y/l/n." Who is followed by Wanda giving you a sweet smile, "Morning Y/n."

"Morning," you manage to get out as you brush past them. You make it to your room and swiftly close the door behind you.

Placing your coffee down on your desk, you lean over it taking a deep breath. Hot tears threaten to fall but you try with everything you have to push them down and control your breathing.

The lies are easy, you have always been good at telling them - when the drinking became too much and you were out getting whatever you could get your hands on to dull the ache that comes with being an Avenger, the lies would easily spill from your lips. It's keeping up the act that is the difficult part.

You know you shouldn't but you think about the inevitable; falling back into bed with Wanda again. You could call it an obsession at this point.

You just wish you were stronger, to be able to stay away from her but you know it is impossible. Because you are an addict and you will indulge for as long as she will let you.

[rey-jake-therapist]

So, I've been reading the Name of the Rose these past few days and it just dawned me ;

Both lust and pride are two of the most intriguing parts in that story, especially if you take into consideration the nature of the plot.

And I've been thinking how both Sauron and Galadriel have up to this point not accepted a fact concerning their relationship.

Due to her pride , Galadriel seems unwilling to fall again into one of his traps or actually believe that anything he ever said was true, even though he himself said that not all of it was deception . She seems determined not to accept the fact that he actually saw an equal in her face, or even an respected opponent that he genuinely needed by his side , for whatever reasons . She does not in fact realise that for him whatever transpired between them was real, ambiguous or not.

He, on the other hand, seems unwilling to accept that she'd been and still is his weakness, because he does not deem himself capable of that sort of feebleness. He underestimated her in the past , but he also underestimated the fact that even in the past, but also now, he is incapable of causing her real harm. Because the truth is that he could have inflicted much greater pain in that fight, had that been his intention.

I always parallel his lust ,to Morgoth's lust after the Silmarils, especially if you come to realise that the said jewels had been inspired by Galadriel's golden hair.

So I believe his lust, or his disregard towards the emotion directed to her , is something he always reflects to his desire for control and power and she is the very essence of it, even though he seems to ignore the latter in terms of her power over him, due to his arrogance. He plays the role of the ever unaffected while forgetting the effort he puts into convincing her to join him.

He seeks for a strategic ally, for a queen to crown and this is all fine political talk, but he casts aside the very circumstances that took place when he spoke the truth and the honest vulnerability behind his words.

It's quite ironic really. He speaks the truth and she denies him, casts threats and occasionally reaches false conclusions, because she once felt overwhelmed and overpowered, but she's the one who knows genuinely how she feels.

And they are a mirror of one another.

She is defending and fighting herself in that scene, but he does that as well.

Should the writers decide to explore their bond further in the future, especially now that they're bound to each other by Morgoth's crown , it'd be really interesting to see how both of them come to terms with the inevitability of it all, but also with how they both are and where they stand.

Because Galadriel does not know that Sauron had really been candid with her; she disclaimed it in the finale (and rightfully so I guess ).

In case we get a mind palace , it'd be nice to actually get her to finally see. Finally accept the fact , that despite the tragedy of what has transpired , whatever happened between them was in fact true and genuine on both sides.

It'd also be confronting for Sauron to start to realise that she actually overpowered him when she flung herself on that cliff. And that he, himself allowed her to overpower him .

And that actually he still needs her for that version of Middle Earth he is plotting for. I don't think that that there's a version of a plausible Middle Earth in his mind where she does not exist , even if it's just for a potential ally that shares the same idiosyncrasy.

That's why I believe that the fighting seems endless now. It's not that they're just fighting each other . They're grappling with the circumstance of their relationship and the versions of themselves that existed only with each other as well and the loneliness that follows.

So I'd love to see them struggle more and more , and provoke each other until realisation hits them and they finally come to peace with the terms of it all.

PS: I find your analysis really cool each time . Great insight!

Anon, I love how your mind works <3

And thank you, by the way!