#but then again it’s been rough for years

[chleem]

Mr & Mrs Starkey

One shot: husband drew x wife yn 

Summary: In which your 5 year-old son catches you kissing santa claus, oblivious to the fact that it's just drew under the costume.

Genre: fluff, smut (shower sex )

⋆.˚ please dont copy or translate my work!

♡⸝⸝ merry xmas! | mistletoe | halloween

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

You lean against the doorframe of the shared bedroom, watching ‘Santa Claus’ place wrapped gifts under the Christmas tree. 

Drew’s movements are very sloppy, due to the big red suit he’s wearing. 

“Seems like Santa needs to lose some weight,” you tease, not even trying to hide how funny you find his situation. 

Recently, your son, Ben learned about Santa Claus and how he brings presents to kids, and like any curious five-year-old, he's completely captivated by the idea of ‘catching’ Santa. The details of his plan are a little hazy to you—he mentioned it about a month ago, but you forgot the specifics.

You told Drew that no costume was necessary; just eat the cookies on the table and put the presents in place. But Drew insisted. And now, here he is, awkwardly fumbling around in a full Santa suit. 

Placing the last gift under the tree, he turns around, his white beard and hat threatening to slip off. His blue eyes meets yours with annoyance, lips pressed in a thin line. “Well, usually my elves do this.”

You giggle, finding Drew’s dedication to the part funny and cute. “Okay, Mr Claus,” you walk over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck, “take a break and have some cookies, huh?”

The annoyance in his eyes fade away, his shoulders relaxing under your touch. “You could’ve been my elf,” he murmurs, hands wrapping around your waist. 

“But I’m Mrs Claus, remember? I stay home, do dishes, yadayada,” you joke, rolling your eyes dramatically. “leave the heavy work- important work to you.”

Drew parts his mouth, looking down at you with a knowing look. 

“I did wrap the presents, didn’t I?” You continue to say. “Doesn’t that count for being an elf? I picked out the gifts, payed for it, set the tree up with Ben-“

Drew’s lips aggressively thrusts itself into yours; tongue fighting for access. You gasp into his mouth; taken aback by the abrupt action. That allows the slip of his tongue, tangling in with yours. 

The cheap fake beard makes it hard to concentrate though; the rough hairs getting in between. 

You pull away from him; eyes hooding with a soft smile on your lips. “Rude.”

“You talk too much sometimes,” he murmurs, a hand going up to cup your face. 

“Isn’t that why you married me-“

He plants his lips on yours again, and you giggle against his lips. 

Drew laughs too; the warmth between you two palpable, the quiet intimacy of the moment almost too perfect. Drew’s hand, still cupping your face, gently tugs you closer, his thumb brushing over your cheek in that way that always makes you melt. The kiss deepens, slow and soft, as if he’s savoring every second of it. 

When you finally pull away, both of you breathless, you find yourself caught in his gaze. It’s that look—the one that makes your heart race, the one that feels like he’s seeing straight into you. You smile, your heart fluttering a little more than it should.

“Maybe I do talk too much,” you tease, your voice barely above a whisper.

He smirks, his fingers tracing along the line of your jaw. “You can talk as much as you want... as long as it’s with me.”

The attempt to sound sweet and lovely is ruined by your incapability of staying serious; because how could you, when Drew’s fake beard is crooked and he’s got this silly red suit with the big belly on? 

“What now?” Drew murmurs, eyeing the silly grin on your face.

“I’m kissing Santa Claus,” you chuckle, reaching up to give his beard a playful tug.

He pauses for a moment, his eyes looking at you with a mischievous glint to them. 

“You naughty girl,” masked with a chuckle, a seductive tone is laced in his words, matching the smirk that’s hidden beneath the white beard. Drew leans in again, catching you in another kiss. 

This time, however, his hands start to roam around your body, feeling the material of your thick hoodie. 

His lips travel down your neck, kissing wherever is exposed. 

You let soft moans escape your mouth; the erotic feeling building in your lower stomach. With a hitched and breathless voice, you ask, “hey Drew?”

He lazily hums against your skin, hands resting just above your ass. 

“Wanna help me shower?” you whisper seductively into his ear, tugging the Santa hat off his head.

Drew pulls back slightly, an amused smile tugging at his lips as he looks down at you. “Y’know you don’t need to ask…”

You plant a kiss on his jaw, soft but deliberate, before moving away, your hand tugging at his sleeve as you make your way toward the bathroom. But Drew doesn’t follow, a thoughtful look painted all over him. 

“Stockings…” he murmurs, looking over his head at the fireplace, with the stockings that he needs to fill as ‘Santa Claus’.

You sigh, knowing exactly where this is going. After all, both of you are suckers for your son, always willing to put everything aside just to see his smile. You glance at Drew, trying to look annoyed, but the soft smile on your face betrays the affection you feel for him—and the family you’ve built together.

“Fine. I’ll shower alone,” you start, readjusting the fake beard he has on. “And I’ll leave Santa to his duties.”

“Thank you,” he sourly replies, his frown evident though the thick beard. 

“Yeah,” you murmur, your lips matching the expression he has. You pat his shoulder, before turning around, making your way to the bathroom. 

You make sure to add an extra sway to your hips, a lame attempt to convince Drew to ditch his costume and join you. 

But nope. Not even when you start stripping, leaving the door open for him to peek. 

——

The bathroom was thick with steam, the fog clouding the mirror as the water poured from the shower head.

You stand underneath the spray; getting ready to wash your body next. 

When you reach for the soap, a much larger hand takes hold of yours, stopping you. You glance over your shoulder, and sure enough, Drew, who presses his body close. 

“Hi,” you flirtatiously start, which comes out more hitched. 

Feeling the soft press of his tip against your back, the breathing gets much harder to steady. 

The temperature in here is definitely rising- not because of the shower. 

“You mad?” Drew’s voice comes out low, a soft smile on his lips as he turns you around to face him. 

You don’t miss the quick glance down to your tits; his gaze lingering longer there than it should be. 

You cock your head to the side, pretending to think it over, but the teasing glint in your eyes gives you away. His hands move to your waist, rubbing circles over your skin, his blue eyes searching yours for an answer.

Your lack of response serves as an invitation for Drew to start planting kisses along your neck, lingering longer on your sweet-spots. 

“Drew…” you softly moan, the thoughts forgotten as he starts sucking the skin on your neck. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, bringing him closer than he already is. His hands find themselves traveling down your body, squeezing your waist, ass, thighs, anywhere he likes. 

“I like this,” he murmurs against your skin, as his hand squeezes your ass again. 

“Mhm,” you lazily hum, running your hands through his wet hair, feeling his aroused dick brushing against your pussy. Shit.

His hands hook under your thighs; lifting you up effortlessly. And because of all the times you've done this, you instinctively wrap your legs tightly around his waist, pinning you against the tiled wall. 

This position causes his dick to brush against your inner thigh; your tits brushing his chest. 

“I like….”

Leaning against the wall, your gaze locks with his hooded blue eyes, feeling the weight of his stare on your lips. “…the way you take me in.”

You chuckle at Drew’s attempt at talk dirty, something you’ll always find amusing throughout your marriage with him. Okay, you liked it, but who were you if you didn’t play along with it? “Well, show me how much you like it.”

A dorky grin Drew fails to suppress shows on his lips, his hands’ gripping tightly on your flesh. His eyes flash down look at the closed proximity you both are in; before quickly flickering back up. 

That makes the blood rush to your cheeks, a flush creeping over your skin. 

“Gonna-“ he leans in and catches your lips in a messy kiss, his teeth pulling on your bottom lip. “-fuck your brains out.”

You breathlessly giggle at that too, your eyes softly focused on Drew, a smitten look in them. 

Without another comment, Drew adjusts his hips, and you feel his cock slowly entering you. Glancing down, your breath hitches as he thrusts in; deeply nested inside. 

“Fuck,” you moan out, tilting your head to rest against the wall.

The showering water that flows down might as well serve as lubricant- yet your walls still feel tight.

Your eyes close for a moment; and you feel Drew’s lips on your neck again- kissing hard enough to leave hickeys. He eventually trails down, lips coming in contact with your breasts. 

He groans as your hands travel down his neck, before tightening around his shoulders. Your nails dig in, averting the pressure there. 

“Drew…” you whine, hoping he starts moving, your eyes flustering open. 

He pulls away, his mouth opened slightly with the same smitten look in his eyes. “…looking at you like this-“ he delivers a thrust to your core; the shock of it causing a loud moan to escape your lips. He chuckles at that, before finishing his words, “makes me wanna put another baby in you.”

“Shit,” you breathe out, as his hips start to roughly slam into yours; one of his hands coming up to play with your tits. The sensation of his thick cock thrusting into you is enough to blur out his words. 

Your body bounces with each rough push his hips drill into your pussy- matching the moans escaping your mouth. He grunts, the sound matching the rising heat in the room, each exhale thick with the intensity building between you.

“F-feels so good,” you mumble.

“Feels good, yeah?” He chuckles lowly, repeating your words. You watch as a grin tugs itself at the corner of his lips, his blue eyes staring lustfully into yours. “Buried with my cock- you look pretty, babe.”

His words, the fast pace, his hands roaming all over sends an alarm to your core, your orgasm building and threatening to explode. 

“Fuck,” you moan, your walls clenching around him as he readjusts you; allowing his dick to thrust into the familiarity of your g-spot. “I’m, c-close”

“Yeah?” Drew kisses the corner of your lips, his moves never stopping. “Right on my cock, baby.”

His lips catches yours again, kissing you clumsily and swallowing the soft sounds you produced. 

The knot in your stomach goes undone- and you feel the warm liquid erupting out of you, over Drew’s cock. You clench around him again, as he continues his pace to chase out his own high. 

His moves become sloppier, his lips pulling away as his dick twitches inside of you, his cream painting your walls white. 

“Shit,” he chuckles, slowly pulling out to leave the tip inside you, just to push fully back in again. 

You chuckle tiredly at that, as he shoves his cum deep into your cunt. “Oh, Drew…” your tone comes out almost like a whine, your throat going hoarse. 

You don’t even try to hide how limp your body is, muscles giving out on holding onto Drew. 

“My beautiful wife,” he almost purrs, blue eyes staring into yours in a smitten way that makes the butterflies in your stomach to fly widely loose. He sets you down on the floor slowly, helping you regain your balance. 

You let his warm hands brush away the hair sticking to the side of your face, the shower head pouring warm water over both of you.

You stand in silence, staring into each other's eyes, both trying to regain your composure from the intensity of the sex. 

“Love it when you talk dirty to me,” you suddenly say, your tone a mix of teasing and heat, a sly smile playing on your lips.

Drew catches onto that; his lips curving into a smirk. His hands slips back to your waist, settling there as if it belongs. “I’k what my girl likes.”

“Geez, what a man,” you tease, your breath catching as his fingers trace over your skin. “Knows what his girl wants.”

You lean in and kiss him briefly, yet pouring your emotions into it. He returns it; bringing one hand up to cup your face, angling it to allow access to his tongue. 

Fuck.

After six years of marriage, he can still easily turn you on like a switch—effortlessly, every damn time. 

You pull away, catching the fucked-out look in Drew’s eyes, the blue beaming down at you. “I’m sleepy,” you murmur, which was your meaning of ‘fuck me in bed, I’m tired’.

“‘Kay,” he murmurs, rubbing circles along your jaw, “let me, give you the princess treatment first, yeah?”

You snort at his words, as he reaches behind you to grab the soap. You don’t miss his low chuckle, even finding his own words funny. 

You relax, and let Drew give you the luxurious ‘princess treatment’, cleaning you up and ready for bed. 

——

Christmas morning

“Ben’s acting weird…”

You whisper to Drew, as you place the dishes into the sink. You spare subtle glances over at your son, sitting on the couch. 

His attention is fixed on the TV, his new toy in hand—opened first, his excitement obvious.

Drew leans against the counter, sipping on the third cup of coffee he made this morning. Last night, well, both of you didn’t get much sleep. He furrowed his eyebrows at you, before shrugging. “No?”

“Um, not to you,” you keep your voice low, standing next to Drew as you both watch the living room.

During breakfast, Ben had been shy, avoiding your gaze and giving short answers to your questions. But he seemed perfectly fine when you tucked him into bed yesterday. “Did I do something last night?”

Drew snickers, and when you glance at him, he casually unzips his jacket. With a smug grin, he reveals the hickeys you’d left on his neck last night. 

Shit. This man is a dad, and he can’t seem to be serious at all during times like this.

His grin escalates into laughter when you roll your eyes at him, pushing his shoulder lightly. “I’m serious. Ask him for me, will you?”

“Alright, alr- I’ll do it.”

Drew doesn’t move, taking another sip of his coffee. 

You send him a glare, along with aggressively zipping his jacket back up. 

“You mean now, got it,” he chuckles, putting the cup down. You shake your head at him, a smile reappearing on your lips as he walks away. 

You busy yourself by scrolling through your Insta, liking posts you don’t care about. The soft whispers you hear are barely audible, drowned out by the TV and the occasional rumble of Ben’s toy.

It’s about two minutes in when you hear Drew’s throaty laugh through the house, Ben hurriedly yelling, “daddy! Quiet!”

“You got anything to support that?” Drew’s voice comes through, his attempt at keeping quiet failing miserably.

You glance up just in time to see Ben jump off Drew’s lap, rushing toward his room.

Meeting Drew’s gaze, you raise an eyebrow, skeptical. You walk over and sit down beside him, waiting for an explanation.

“You’ll see. It’s hilarious,” Drew says with a grin, clearly trying to hold back a laugh. You give him a sideways glance, not buying it for a second. 

Ben runs back, his familiar blue eyes meeting yours for a split second before he quickly looks away.

“Wanna show Mommy what’s in your hand?” you chirp, your gaze landing on the toy camera you bought him a few months ago, now clutched tightly in his small hands.

He ignores you; walking straight into Drew’s arms. 

“Well that’s rude,” you murmur, but both father and son remain oblivious, their attention now fully on the toy camera.

As you try to sneak a peek, Drew leans away with a mischievous grin, clearly enjoying whatever he’s looking at. Ben, on the other hand, glances at it nervously, his small brow furrowing in worry. 

Your curiosity grows by the minute, heightening when Ben says, “is mommy in trouble?”

His big, doe blue eyes meets yours again, and he looks like a sad puppy (much like his dad sometimes). It melts your heart; again proving you could never be mad at this kid. 

His dad, on the other hand, you might choke him to death if he doesn’t explain what’s going on right now. 

“Why don’t you tell mommy?” Drew teases, his hand rubbing Ben’s stomach in an assuring way. 

You can see the thought process on Ben’s face, the pout deepening as he concentrates. His small brows furrow, eyes narrowing in serious contemplation.

Finally, Ben points his little finger at you, his voice loud and clear. “Mommy kissed Santa Claus!”

Your mouth drops open in shock as your mind races through the events of last night. Shit. You kissed Drew, who was dressed as Santa. Then the shower together- But how did Ben catch you? Was he out of bed? Did he—

Drew flips the small toy camera’s screen toward you, revealing a paused video. There’s no mistaking it: it's you, mid-kiss, with Drew in his Santa costume.

Oh. So this was his great plan of catching Santa Claus. A hidden camera.

Your face flushes as you look back at Drew, who’s struggling to suppress his laugh. You quickly cover your mouth, trying to hide the matching smile creeping onto your lips.

“Oh, Ben, honey,” you start, your voice sweet but a little flustered. His eyes glance up at you, eagerly awaiting your response. Relax, he’s only a five-year old kid. “Santa needed help with the presents…and mommy helped him.”

You flash a small smile, hoping he’ll understand. Ben looks up at you with a puzzled face, clearly not buying it. 

Dammit, five-year olds are getting too smart these days. 

“Don’t worry; mommy’s on the good girls’ list,” Drew adds on, clearly enjoying this. 

You shoot him a glare - really? “Ben, mommy would never kiss Santa,” you say firmly. “I was hugging him- see?”

“But you kiss daddy like that all the time,” Ben loudly comments, fidgeting nervously. 

A soft laugh leaves Drew’s mouth, absolutely no help to his situation. Great, just another reminder to yourself to maybe keep the affectionate touches to a minimum around Ben in the future.

“Okay,” you start, trying to steer the conversation back to safer waters. “Yes, Mommy and Daddy kiss sometimes, but Santa—he's just, well, he’s just here to deliver the gifts. That’s all.”

You glance at Drew, who���s still trying (and failing) to hide his grin. “Right, Drew?” you add, shooting him a look that says get it together.

“Right, right,” Drew says quickly, trying to sound serious. 

“So, Ben,” you turn your gaze back to your son, holding his tiny hand. Gosh, he’s adorable. “Santa's just doing his job to make Christmas magical. Okay?”

Ben nods slowly, his tiny face scrunching as he seems to take it all in. “Okay, mommy.”

You smile fondly at him, reaching your arms out.

He lets out a laugh that’s eerily similar to Drew’s, a lighter sound as he buries into your embrace. The sound of his laughter fills the room, bringing a sense of joy to your heart.

Somehow, with all its goofiness, it’s moments like this that make everything feel so right.

You press a kiss to the top of his head, as he snuggles against you, you can’t help but think—god, he’s basically a mini version of Joseph Andrew Starkey.

“Mommy loves you,” you say, as Ben pulls away. 

“I love you too, Mommy,” he mumbles, his voice soft but genuine. Like every kid, though, his attention span is short. His eyes drift over to the Christmas tree, where a few presents remain under the glittering lights. “Can I open the rest?”

You nod at him, and Ben takes off immediately, racing towards the Christmas tree. You can't help but smile as you watch him grab the first big present in front of him, tearing it apart. 

Although, your smile falters as your eyes drift back to Drew. He’s lounging on the couch, a lazy smile on his lips as he watches Ben, clearly amused.

Without thinking, you slap his stomach a bit roughly, causing him to flinch in his seat.

"Hey!" Drew protests quietly, his eyes widening in surprise as he looks at you. "What was that for?”

“Really? ‘Good girls’ list’?” you shoot back, raising an eyebrow at him.

He scoots himself closer to you, his smirk deepening, “you definitely took it like a good girl last night.”

Fuck. 

You freeze, his words hanging in the air, sending a shockwave through your chest.

"God, you're impossible,” you groan, slapping his hand away, the one trying to slip under your cardigan. 

Drew’s throaty laugh escapes again, wanting to further tease you when Ben interrupts the short conversation. 

He proudly shows off the present he got from ‘Santa’; a toy truck that he’s been begging for since forever. His small hands grip the toy truck, eyes wide with excitement.

The warmth of the moment radiates off you, and everything else fades away. Ben’s joy fills the room, and for a moment, it’s as if time stands still. 

The Christmas tree lights flicker softly in the background, casting a gentle glow, and the world outside feels distant, as if nothing else matters.

What a jolly merry Christmas. 

-------------------------------

word count: 3.6k

ִ ࣪𖤐 a/n: i want drew's kids. and i hate kids. but i want his.

be honest...this was shit writing, and im sorry about that. im in a writers block lately, my brain is officially on vacation mode. but merry christmas, and i hope you enjoyed this! ignore any mistakes, and read mistletoe if you havent ! (much better imo)

[woso-dreamzzz]

Leaving: Christmas

Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader

Summary: Christmas with Menor

It's not often that Eli gets to have all three of you in the same place, not with you off travelling the world for your tennis, practically in a different country every month.

But the winter months is one that she can almost guarantee you'll be home for.

You finish your tennis season on a high, lifting the trophy at the WTA Finals before you spend a few more weeks in Poland with your training team coming up with a rough schedule of what you want to compete in next year.

But you're home now which means that Eli has all three of her daughters in the same country. Which also means mandatory days out together on the run up to Christmas.

It's easier to get you sorted than Alexia - still playing football every week - and Alba, still teaching as the schools haven't gone on holiday yet.

You're back in your childhood bedroom and seem to delight in sleeping the day away and only getting up around two in the afternoon to migrate from your bed to the sofa.

Occasionally, you roll out of bed early in the morning to take part in some sponsorship commitments.

Your tennis season has been nothing short of extraordinary this year and you've somehow become Nike Tennis' golden girl along the way with all of your tennis gear bar your racket being supplied by them.

Like how now, you and Alexia are wearing the exact same Nike shoes as you all walk through the Christmas market together.

"Mami!" You complain over the noise of the crowd," Mami, make them stop!"

Somewhere between the stall making handmade Santas and the stall with fresh paella, Alexia has gotten you into a headlock and is none too kindly ruffling your hair while Alba pinches your cheek between two fingers.

"She started it!" Alexia yells back.

"Alexia," Eli says with a sigh," You are thirty years old-"

"Yeah, Alexia!" You butt in," You're old."

"No, y/n, that's not what I meant," Eli tries to correct you but she's interrupted yet again.

"Yeah, older than you!" Alexia says," Which means you're meant to do what I say! Listen to your elders!"

"Oh? So you're elderly now? Maybe you should sit down, Ale, and rest your old back!"

You shove her off of you, stamping on her foot before taking off down the street.

"Hey! Get back here!" Alexia yells, taking off after you as she forces her way through the crowd.

Alba shakes her head in mock disapproval. "You know, Mami-"

"No, Alba," Eli says," I will not only buy you stuff tonight. Stop trying to get your sisters in trouble."

Alba shrugs. "It was worth a shot."

By the time Eli and Alba catch up, you and Alexia have forgotten whatever argument you've been having in favour of nosing around some of the stalls together.

Somehow in the time it's taken for Eli and Alba to return, you've both gotten cups of hot chocolate with caramel sauce and marshmallows along with little Christmas ornaments to hang on the tree.

"Must you two spend so much money?" Alba complains as she points at the little paper bags that Eli hadn't even noticed.

"It's not our fault that we've got a lot of it saved up."

Alba rolls her eyes. "It's exactly your fault! You don't have to keep winning so much in prize money."

You shrug. "It's not my fault I'm good at what I do."

"It's your fault you're not spending it on me," Alba says, tongue poking out of her mouth.

"If I buy you stuff, will I get sister points?"

Alba doesn't even have to think about it. "Yes."

You grin. "What do you want?"

Eli sighs. "Alba, please stop exploiting your little sister's goodwill."

"Yeah Alba," Alexia butts in, her own tongue sticking out," Don't exploit our little sister."

"You do it all the time!"

"I'm allowed to!"

"Girls," Eli says wearily," Please stop exploiting each other."

It's a weak request, one that Eli knows will be ignored but she has to at least attempt it, if only to look like a good mother in a crowd of strangers.

She easily tunes out the bickering of the three of you as she turns to the hot chocolate stall and buys herself a cup of it.

You and Alexia have good taste, she can give you that because it's delightfully creamy and Eli takes a long gulp before turning back around.

She's not surprised that the three of you have disappeared.

In all honesty, she's surprised you all stuck around for so long.

Usually, the three of you go off by yourselves the moment you step into a market. Eli's kind of been a bit antsy for you to all disappear. She does her best Christmas shopping when none of you are around.

"Alexia!" You complain," Hurry up! Alba's saving us a spot in line."

"But..." Alexia pretends to stumble, making herself seem suddenly weak and weary. "I...I don't know if I can go on! You know, with my old bones!"

"Alexia, you're so dramatic!"

She grins. "Yes."

"Come on!" You say," I want to go on the drop ride!"

"You always want to go on the drop ride!"

"Exactly," You say, pulling her more forcefully than before," Because it's tradition! Don't ruin tradition!"

Alexia laughs, finally having stopped digging her heels in to throw her arm over your shoulder.

"You know I'll never break tradition."

[rafeyscurtainbangs]

𝓻𝓪𝓯𝓮𝔂𝓼𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓫𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓼

𝙽𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚢 𝙻𝚒𝚜𝚝 | 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬

𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝕋𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪-𝔽𝕠𝕦𝕣: 𝔸𝕡𝕣è𝕤 𝕊𝕜𝕚

𝚂𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛’𝚜𝙱𝙵!𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚡 𝚃𝚠𝚒𝚗!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

warnings: swearing, drinking, angst, mutual pining, cheating, public sex, sex in a hot tub, multiple positions, fingering, unprotecyed p in v, creampie, spanking, oral (male receiving), backshots, rough oral, pet names, dirty talk

📖 Your twin sister’s boyfriend is so hot… A family trip to Breckenridge leaves plenty of tension between you and Rafe

Masterlist

Reader’s POV:

You stare out the château window, watching powdery snow swirl under the deck lights. Breckenridge is serene—stunning this time of year, but it’s almost impossible to enjoy now; your twin sister Sophie is testing you nearly every free moment since you arrived.

You take a sip of spiked cider, letting the warmth rush through you, hoping it will numb the frustration. Sophie was the perfect one—the angel. Or so everyone says so. Your mom and dad dote over her, and they always have, Sophie… So sweet and studious, so thoughtful and kind-

”Shouldn’t you be asleep by now?” Rafe asks from the kitchen as he lifts the sink handle, drawing a glass of water, a teasing edge to his voice, bullying you and your sister in the same comment. You, for going out when your parents hoped you’d be like your sister, winding down for the night. While also knocking your sister for being such a wet blanket, already in bed at 8:30 on a Friday night…

“Mhmm… Probably,” you hum, your breath making the steam from your cup roll over the edge.

“Shouldn’t you?” You ask, making him smile and nod. He brings the glass to his lips, takes a sip, and walks toward the dark hallway.

“Touché,” he mumbles against the rim of his glass. “You goin’ somewhere?”

You look over your shoulder, seeing Rafe standing there in nothing but a pair of black sweats on his muscular body, his hair damp and cut body still dewy from his shower, making your heart flutter.

“Thinkin’ about it,” you smile.

“Who with?” He asks curiously.

“Well, not you two…” You scoff. “Thanks for ditching me.” His lips draw to the side, opening his mouth to speak but you start again. “Think I might meet up with those guys we saw at lunch. They seemed fun.”

“Guys?” He asks, failing miserably at hiding his jealousy.

“Mhmm… They’re still at the resort, so I might meet them up the hill or maybe downtown. We’ll see,” you hum as you gesture to your phone as a new notification rolls in.

He nods, looking down the hallway before looking back at you. “Well, uh… Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” you sing as you pull up the text thread, watching from the corner of your eyes as Rafe’s stay on yours until the last moment.

You hear another set of feet pad down the hallway, lighter than your parents. They stop, and you hear the soft, sweet peck of a kiss, making your eyes roll.

Here we go.

Your sister steps into the kitchen, opening the cupboard to grab a glass for herself. She follows in Rafe's footsteps, filling the glass with water, but her gaze is not nearly as kind.

Your eyes shift to her, then back to your phone; your sister saying so much with just a glance. Why do you go out so much? Why are you wearing that? Are you drinking again?

Admittedly, you stalked his social media account… He was fun before he met her. He's the kind of guy who might go out for a drink at 8:30 on a Friday night on vacation without feeling like the whole world will come crashing down around him the next morning.

What did she do to deserve Rafe?

There has always been tension between you… and Rafe just made it worse.

She can see it too—see how he looks at you even though she would never admit it herself…

“Goodnight,” she mumbles as she walks back toward her bedroom. You bite your lip, feeling jealous that she gets to do that, knowing she’ll probably go in there, flick off the lights, and shut her eyes… Maybe they’ll cuddle and chat, but they’re not going to do half of the shit you’d do… The kind of shit that you dream about. The things you know he thinks about, too, and each lingered stare highlights that.

It all started on the Fourth of July, the first time Sophie brought him home. He was taken aback. Of course, he knew you’d look alike, but you don’t think he ever dreamed of how you would differ; you, filling in all the spaces he wished she’d fill. Sophie is all sugar and softness, the model girlfriend and idyllic daughter. But she’s too perfect. Her edges are too smooth. He couldn’t stop stealing glances… It was intoxicating. And impossible to forget.

The downtown area is bustling, filled with people winding down after a long day of skiing. You belly up to the bar at Après Ski, hanging out with the people you told Rafe you’d meet, but your thoughts are still on him.

Even if he were here, you wouldn’t be able to enjoy yourself; you wouldn’t be able to talk to him freely with Sophie there. She would cut you down at every chance, telling stories that would surely embarrass you if she felt even the slightest tension build between you… Maybe it was for the best that he isn't...

You look at your phone, catching the time: 11:37 PM… Pulling up the UBER app, you follow the long list of options and settle on the best: reaching out to your mom to pick you up instead. Well, not her…

A quick text to your mom, a lie about no available UBERs for an hour, and a wicked surcharge. The timing was strategic, too, knowing that when you left for the night, your mom and dad had popped a bottle of red wine—the two of them having a glass or two—And, much like their daughter, a single glass of wine and driving was out of the question. Who would they have to ask? Rafe Cameron…

The rental car rolls to a stop before the bar, and your heart jumps in your chest. You hurry outside, walking down the snow-plowed sidewalk, body shivering from the winter cold.

You open the passenger's side door and slide in; your body instantly hugged in the car's heat and the warmth radiating off him.

“Hey,” you smile, keeping your tone light, not trying to give yourself away completely. “Thanks for comin’. I was-”

"Stranded?" He asks as he lifts his eyebrow, lip quirking in a smirk as he turns on his blinker, blockaded in a sea of UBERs.

“Completely,” you smile, biting back a little laugh. You're caught in your little lie in the first few seconds, but again, maybe it’s for the best.

Instead of calling you out, he just gives a short nod and eases onto the road, heading back towards your place. Silence settles over the two of you, thick with the tension of everything you aren’t saying.

Snow drifts across the dark road, headlights illuminating the space before you as you barrel through the dark Colorado night. Rafe reaches down, turning up the radio slightly. The song swelling in the car, with its sultry beat and lyrics making that pressure even more palpable.

You cross your legs in your sweater dress, letting the skirt ride up the fullness of your thighs. From the corner of your eyes, you watch Rafe’s grip on the steering wheel tighten, knuckles turning white.

He throws his gaze down for a moment, looking at you sitting pretty in your seat before returning to the road ahead. With that, a hot wave of satisfaction rolls over you.

“Uh…” Rafe’s deep utterance rumbles in his throat. “Did you, umm… Did you run into those guys from the hill?” He asks, begging the question he’s wanted to ask since he picked you up.

“Mhmm,” you smile.

You lean over to fiddle with the heater controls, purposely shifting closer. Your bare thigh grazes the center console; Rafe’s eyes linger on your bare skin yet again.

“You weren’t able to sleep?” You ask curiously as you turn slightly to the side, resting your head against the seat, giving him your sole focus. Rafe takes a deep breath and turns to you before snapping his gaze back to the road. You look down at your body, watching the way the v-neck of your dress sits even lower at this angle, your perfect tits pressed together.

“I couldn’t relax,” he responds, his voice tight and hoarse. Rafe looks at you again, double-taking, not even trying to be subtle.

"Well, maybe I can help you relax," you suggest lightly.

His breath catches. He forces his eyes back to the road, clearing his throat. "Wha-What?" He questions through a breathy laugh, wondering if those seven words just left your mouth or if he’s dreaming it.

"You must be tired, Rafe," you say softly. "Long day, and now you're chauffeuring me." You rest your hand on his big bicep, squeezing him. “Thank you, by the way...”

He laughs and shakes his head, picking up on the blatant seduction—every part of his being craving more. You bite your lip and smile.

He likes this game.

As you lay back on the seat again, the song changes, and you roll your body slightly to the music. You sing the next line. Rafe lets out a deep, sexually frustrated laugh as he drums his thumbs on the wheel.

“You are somethin’ else, sweetheart,” he mumbles, his voice taunt. His Adam’s Apple bobs in his throat, jaw clenched tight as he fights himself from looking for the nth time. "Why are you doin’ all this?"

"Doing what?" You ask dumbly as you turn your focus back to him, letting the cozy knit material of your dress tug down your shoulder a bit, highlighting yet another piece of bare skin he’s never seen before.

He gives a low, humorless laugh and scoffs. Rafe has tried to stay focused on the tree-lined drive before, but his self-control is fleeting. He exhales a sharp breath, seconds away from losing it altogether. "You know exactly what you're doing. Don’t you, princess?"

Princess? You tilt your head as he pulls into the dark driveway.

“No clue what you’re talking about,” you breathe.

“No… No, you do,” he responds teasingly.

"Maybe,” you whisper as he shuts off the car.

“You gonna go to bed or what?” He asks chastely, trying to hold on to his last shred of resolve, grasping, trying to derail his own thoughts.

“I might stay up, maybe have a drink, watch a movie maybe,” you mumble as you pull your phone out of your purse, pulling up a text chain between you and one of the guys.

“Who… Uh,” he blurts the second he sees the other guy's name across the top of your screen. “Who are you talkin’ to now?”

You look at him out of the corner of your eye, giving him a knowing glance. “Zach… He wasn’t able to come out tonight. I was just going to see if he wanted to come over and watch a movie or go out in the hot tub or something. Is that okay?” You ask teasingly.

He looks back at the house, fixing his face, and then down to the time on the clock. You watch his reaction closely; more than a flicker of jealousy… Anger too. ”Isn’t it kinda late?” He rasps.

“Alright, Sophie,” you knock.

Rafe's stare hardens on yours. "I mean, you don’t really know him-"

You turn toward him again, looking at him square in the eye. “You’ve never just hooked up with someone, Rafe? Sometimes you can just do somethin’ to have a good time… Why are you actin’ so serious? Don’t you ever just want to fuck?”

“I mean… Of course,” he murmurs, his mind a flurry of thoughts: jealousy, envy, lust.

”But you’re probably right… It’s probably too late.” You watch as his muscles soften, shoulders falling slightly. “I mean, the offer is still there for you…” You smile, letting your words drift off. Rafe’s eyebrows pinch together, wondering if that offer includes just the movie and the hot tub or the hookup, too.

You giggle and roll your eyes, keeping it vague on purpose, just to fuck with him. The two of you know full well you mean all three; Rafe, still unable to acknowledge that, playing dumb to his better judgment.

His lips part, but no words come out. A faint flush creeps across his cheeks. Neither of you speaks for a moment, letting the tension twist tighter.

Rafe lets out a sigh of relief as you slide your phone back into your purse, leaving Zach on read for the moment. He takes a deep breath, trying to rein in his emotions. "We should get inside."

The two of you walk inside the house, stripping yourselves out of your shoes and Rafe out of his puffy coat.

You walk past him, brushing up against him slightly as you move to the coat hook, catching your purse around the knob before tucking your shoes away. “Goodnight, Rafe,” you smile. “Thank you.”

”Of course,” he whispers as he turns his body toward you, making you slow slightly as he hangs up his jacket as well.

He looks down at you, following the contact, moving into it. “Rafe…” You breathe, hearing his breath hitch his name leaves your lips.

“Yeah, baby…”

Baby? Shit… "Are you sure you don't want to stay here for a minute?" You ask as you take yet another step closer.

He licks his lips, his beautiful blue eyes reflective before he hangs his head a little more. “I’m not sure about anything right now,” he mumbles weakly. Rafe turns his cheek, moving closer, the warmth of his breathing hitting your neck, making your body buzz from head to toe. “… But Sophie-”

”We don’t need to talk about her…” You silence him before he can finish his thought.

Rafe inhales as you rest your hand on his chest, feeling his heart bang underneath. You slide your hand higher, hooking it around his neck before your eyes meet again. He gives up control, leaning in the rest of the way, fighting back for a moment, and right when you think he’s about to commit, he buries himself in your neck, pressing his lips against your skin.

The kiss never truly happens, his lips brushing against the soft warmth of your neck. But the contact sends a sudden surge of adrenaline through your veins regardless. Your pulse pounds rapidly, thumping in your head as Rafe jerks back, looking down at you with a mixture of longing and regret, ebbing and flowing between the two.

“I—” he breathes, his voice thick and heavy. “I can’t... not here. Not like this. Alright?” He talks more to himself as he anxiously runs his fingers through his hair, pushing out a shaky breath.

“Okay,” you whisper, stepping around him before he can say anymore, heading toward the living room, Rafe clearly hoping you’d put up more of a fight. It’s empty; everyone’s asleep for the night. You walk to the sliding glass door and hear Rafe’s heavy footsteps along the hardwood floor.

Rafe steps into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water just like he did earlier in the night, waiting for what you’ll do next. You reach for the bottom of your sweater dress, pulling it over your head, leaving yourself in your lace bra and thong.

You hear him fumble some grumbled words past his lips, catching your attention. You turn over your shoulder, watching as his gaze sweeps over you, lingering on the thighs, your hips, your ass.

His eyes land on yours, and he clears his throat, pushing down the lump with a sip of water. You give him a little nod, no more, no less, as you grab the door handle, gliding it open.

You test the water with your toe—slipping into the hot tub, steam curling around you, leaving you sighing in relief. The jets and hot water knead and melt away your tension from the day, though your mind continues to churn.

You replay it all… All of the frustrating moments flashing through your mind: Rafe’s watchful eye on you all day, the bar-night ditching, the car ride, the near-kiss in the hallway, the way his gaze nearly devoured you in the kitchen just moments before.

Your eyes flash open, head cocking slightly as you notice Sophie’s bedroom blinds drawn open. A shadow shifts along the glass—catching Rafe’s movements. You raise your hand, waving at him teasingly, and he falls out of view just like that.

You roll your eyes and shut them again, trying to relax, but it’s useless.

Buzz.

Your phone buzzes on the hot tub’s edge, and the screen lights up with a new notification.

Rafe: hey

You: hey

You: Still can’t sleep?

Rafe: No

You: You should stop staring at your phone, then… Shut your eyes and go to sleep.

Rafe: cmon

You: What?

Rafe: I can’t get you out of my head.

Your wet fingers hovered over the keyboard, heart thumping hard.

You: What are you going to do about it?

You look at the screen, watching the typing bubbles pop up at the bottom, then disappear, only to start again.

Rafe: Nothing I should.

Rafe: But I can’t stop thinkin about you

You: Then stop pretending.

Rafe: its not that simple

You: it shouldnt be that hard

You: What if I told you I think about you too?

Rafe: I’d say I already fuckin knew.

You: Cocky much?

Rafe: Only when I’m right.

You bite your lip, look at the window, and then return to your phone.

Rafe: If shit was different, I’d already be with you.

That single line sent a shiver through you, and for a second, you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You draw a deep breath, wondering what you should say next…

You: So make shit different.

You look at your phone, waiting for a message to form, but it doesn’t come. The little clock ticks away, leaving you feeling like you did in the hallway when he dodged your kiss.

Rafe: You’re going to ruin me You know that?

You: You want me to apologize Rafe?

Twenty minutes… You roll your eyes, killing the jets, letting the hot water still. The snow falls around you, melting just above the water, chilling your shoulders as it sprinkles your balmy skin.

Creak.

You look toward the sliding glass door, wide-eyed as you see him. Rafe steps a little closer. The ripples of his cut abs and V-lines cast little shadows on his tight stomach. He doesn’t have a swimsuit; this choice was probably a last-minute decision, leaving his body hugged in his black Calvin Klien briefs.

Your pulse spikes as you take in the details—eyes drawn to the gold chain glinting on his chest with each rapid, nervous breath he takes, his gaze unwavering.

"You changed your mind," you say softly.

"I couldn't.." Rafe exhales shakily. "I tried not to."

Your heart flips as he moves closer to the tub. His gaze travels over your wet skin, pausing your tits to meet the water; the rest of your body lingering just below. His big hands rest on the edge, squeezing tightly, still trying to hold himself back.

"We need to talk,” he mumbles, his voice just above a hush.

"About what?" You whisper as you turn your body toward him, chest to chest, resting your knees on the tub seat as he stands just outside. He groans as his hands fall from your eyes to your lips, down your perfect body dripping with water.

“About us… What’s goin’ on… Your fucking sist-”

”Stop,” you plead, cutting him off before he can finish. “Just don’t…”

His pupils are blown wide, lips parted, body tilting in closer and closer. His fingers thread into your wet hair as chills spread across your body, your breath catching in your chest.

When your mouths meet, everything else falls away. The kiss is hot and desperate. The warmth makes the winter cold around you disappear. Your heart pounds in your chest, keeping time with his. Rafe cups your cheeks in his big hands, pulling you closer as you lead him into the steaming water.

Your lips move in unison, tongues sliding against each other, teasing and rolling as his rough hands squeeze your body. “Fuck,” he moans as the warmth of the water surrounds you both, Rafe pulling you through the water onto his lap as he deepens the kiss. He holds you tightly, hands taking two fistfuls of ass, guiding you to grind on top of him. “You drive me crazy,” he pants between sloppy kisses.

“Mmm…” You moan in his mouth. “I can’t stop thinking about you,” you pant, and he pulls away, leaving you gasping for breath. Your lungs fill with a blend of the heat of the tub and the winter bite. He presses his forehead against yours, hands still on you, coaching you to rock on his stiff bulge.

Rafe doesn't hesitate this time. His mouth crashes onto yours again, hands roaming your curves as the steamy water laps at your back. He looks back at you, half-lidded, lips swollen; desperate for more. “What can’t you stop thinking about?” He asks, making you gasp as he presses his big hand against your pussy. His other arm wraps around your waist, your bra clinging to your skin; it leaves you feeling like nothing’s between you until he unclips it fully. The wet bra floats to the surface and you throw it over the edge as Rafe tugs down his boxers, doing the same.

“This… Being with you, fucking you, being yours, Rafe. I think about it all...”

Rafe���s eyes meet yours—his lust-hazed gaze falling down what he can see of your body. “Me too…” His hands reach where he can’t see, traveling lower and lower until his fingers curl around the band of your thong, tugging it away from your skin.

“Mhmm,” you hum as you rise in the water, stepping closer, your tits eye-level with Rafe’s face as he tugs when down.

He nuzzles into your chest, grabbing your breasts in his big hands before pressing them together, sucking down on your nipples as your hands wrap around his neck, skimming through his hair.

"Fuck, you look beautiful, princess," he sighs.

"So do you, Rafe…”

“What are you gonna let me do to you, baby?” He pants as he pulls you to him again.

You lean into him, lips brushing against his ear, moaning as you feel the friction on his hard cock, nudging against your aching clit with each roll of your hips. “Are you gonna let me suck your cock,” you smile.

"You're gonna choke on that shit, princess. Of course I am,” he hums, quickly clearing his throat as he listens to those filthy words flow so easily from his lips.

“You sure, baby? It’s really cold,” you whisper as you wrap your fingers around his dick, making him groan, tossing his head back, only for you to suck down on his neck.

“Oh, shit-” He huffs excitedly like it’s been a long time, making you smile. “You’d do that shit out here?” He asks as he looks from side to side, darkness all around you, but the rental isn’t remote; lit châteaus poke through the trees on all three sides, on top of the fact that your entire family is asleep just feet away, to one of them his girlfriend; your sister no less.

“I would,” you smile as you lean in, tits grazing the top of the water, making chills spread across your body. “Or I can just do this?” You whisper against his lips as you continue to stroke.

“Mpfhh—No… No, baby,” he groans. “I need your lips around me. Can't fuckin’ take it.”

Rafe grabs your body fast, swirling you through the water, switching positions, leave you sitting on the bench as he stands before you. You look up at him through your wet lashes as you wrap your hands around his body, nails clawing into his ass, guiding his cock to your lips.

Your eyes widen at the sight of him, Rafe’s long, thick dick resting just above the water, curving slightly up to his rock-hard stomach. Your wrap your hands around the base, pulling to the tip, watching a bead of precum pearl out of his slit. You lean in nice and slow, flicking your tongue up the seam on him, making him bite his lips to stiffen a moan.

Chills flare across his muscular body, you, so caught up in the moment and distracted with the beautiful man before you that you already forgot about the winter winds whipping around you.

“Please, princess,” he groans, the darkness in his eyes letting you know that, for the moment, he’s forgotten as well. All he wants is what you promised and what he said would happen. He wants you to choke on it.

You look up at Rafe’s, tracing his messy tip against your lips, licking them, making him moan; that sound gets swallowed up in a deeper sound as you wrap your lips around his dick fully, bringing him deep in your mouth.

“Holy shit,” he gasps. “Fuck, you feel so good.” Rafe smiles as you start to bob around his length, taking as much of him as you can get. “Can’t believe you’re doin’ this shit,” he smiles devilishly, looking around for anyone else before turning his focus back to you.

Rafe rests his ringed hands on your cheeks, giving you a few shallow thrusts, marveling at your trained gag reflux before pushing you further, making you choke on his cock again and again.

“Goddamn, baby,” he mumbles as he reaches his thumb up, tracing it under your eyes, catching some tears as they fall, bringing it up to his lips before sucking, checking if you were really crying from sucking him off so good. His eyes roll back in his skull, dick throbbing on your tongue as he praises you.

Rafe presses you down; his tip kisses the back of your throat, making you gag again. He releases your head, but you continue to work. "Good fucking god," he moans, chuckling sinfully.

You wrap your fingers around his dick as well, stroking as you suck, making his big muscles tremble. You fuss around his cock, the vibrations making his jaw tighten as he realizes just how much pleasure you’re getting from having his heavy dick in your mouth as well.

“You like the is shit, huh? Fuck, you’re so good—shit, you’re good at this, princess,” he hums.

Your jaw starts to ache as you deep-throat his length; Rafe’s so blissed out by the sight of you, trying his hardest to hold back his pleasure, fighting off his climax for the fear that this shit might never happen again, not wanting to lose this feeling.

“No… Fuck,” he grunts as he tosses his head back to the night sky, taking a grip on the back of your head suddenly. “Gonna… Goddamnit. I’m gonna cum, princess. You don’t have to swallow it. Alright?” Just—Just… Fuckk,” he moans as you pull him out of your mouth fast. Fisting him two times before he’s cumming with a deep groan, painting your face with ropes and ropes of warm cum.

He looks down at you mesmerized, staring at you like you’re his favorite fucking thing in existence as you lift your finger to your cheek, running it through the mess before slipping it through your lips, sucking before releasing your finger with an exaggerated pop, only to do it again.

You sink in the water, going all the way under before coming back out, pawing the hot from your hair as he looks back at you, still stunned and silent.

Rafe stands chest to chest with you, panting as he looks in your eyes. “Do I even need to say it?” He asks as he wraps his big arms around your body, bringing your lips to his. You give him a knowing glance, and he nods and bites his lip. “Best blow job of my fuckin’ life.”

“Yeah?” You ask with a slight tilt, making him nod down at you fast. You wrap your fingers around his pulsing dick, making Rafe hiss and groan as he looks down at you. Waiting for what you’ll say, wanting to go so much further with you.

You wrap your slight hand around his wrist with a smile, guiding him between your legs. “Mmm… Shit. You sure, pretty?” he mumbles.

“Stop asking, Rafe…” You whisper. “We both want the same thing.”

“Yeah?” He asks smugly as he slips his fingers through your folds, swirling over your clit, before moving a little lower. You whimper against Rafe’s lips as he pushes in one finger, then another, curling them inside you, making you throw your arms around his big shoulders.

“Fuck you make some pretty sounds, princess,” he mumbles as he thrusts his fingers into your cunt again and again, each utterance fleeing your lips more desperate than the last “They’re leaving for an early run tomorrow… I’m gonna tell her I’m not feelin’ too good,” he whispers warmly against your neck as his thumb finds your pearl, rubbing on top. “M’gonna have you screamin’. Shit… You gonna be a good girl and get loud for me?” He asks. “You’re a fuckin’ screamer… I can tell.”

“Yes, daddy-”

Sexual tension fills the space around you as he lives in that title for a moment, chuckling darkly as he replays it in his mind again. “What did you just call me?” He hums hot against your skin. “Say that shit again…” He whispers against your neck as he bites down on your skin, making you release a breathy cry for more. The thin band in your belly tightens, threatening to snap with just a little more.

“Daddy…” Your lips lock with his, Rafe swallowing moan after moan from you. Your body trembles from the pleasure coursing through your system and the cold winter chill whipping against your naked body; Rafe’s bare frame is the only thing keeping you warm.

“Let me cum on your cock,” you whisper, and before you can react, he flips you fast, pushing you to clutch the edge of the hot tub as he traces his fat tip through your folds just enough for a little extra slick before slamming inside, making your head fall forward. He doesn’t let you adjust, knowing you were close, wanting to get you off a few times if he had the chance.

You look back over your shoulder, watching Rafe’s gaze trace over your curves as it always does, following the arc of your spine, watching the way the fat of your ass jiggles with each smack of his toned hips. His brows knit tight as he sees your drenched cunt pulling him in, his cock dragging back all shiny and wet with you.

Rafe pushes on your lower back, making you arch even more, hitting that perfect spot, making your muscles quake, hand fastened over your mouth to hold back your cries of bliss. “Fuck, Rafe. I’m cumming,” you whine as you throw yourself back, meeting him thrust for thrust.

“Mmm… Just slow down, princess. Shit—Shittt. Not ready to cum yet,” he grumbles. “Pussy’s too good… Fuck.”

His fingers dig into your plush ass, emptying his load deep into your fluttering cunt, but he doesn’t stop. He barely acknowledges it, though the look on his beautiful face is a dead giveaway. He just doesn’t want to stop until you cum again—screaming his name as your pretty pussy bounces on top of him.

Rafe pulls you off his dick with a shuddering breath, the man barely able to form a word, just tugging you where he wants you as his cum drips from your puffy hole. He pushes his lips against yours, kissing you breathlessly, letting his tongue slip between your lips.

“Did you cum?” You ask with a smile.

“One more,” he huffs. “Wanna get you off one more time.”

“Rafe…” You giggle.

“Maybe… Maybe I fuckin’ did. Alright? Told you… Pussy’s too goddamn good. Just use it as lube, baby. C’mon,” he mumbles against your lips, kissing you again.

He rests his elbows on the side of the tub, his pulsing dick sticking out of the water. You turn around, poking your back out, hands dragging up your ass.

"Such a fuckin’ tease,” he laughs breathily, letting his hand come down on your ass with a rough crack.

“Yeah, Mr. Comin’ out in the living room to flirt with me… Without a shirt on?” You tease. “And that’s just today.”

“Yeah. Yeah… You got me there,” he sighs as he grips your ass, pulling you apart enough to watch his cum roll out of your slick hole.

He keeps his eyes locked on your pussy, catching his release on his swollen tip before pushing inside again. "Ugh... Fuck," he grunts as you start to bounce.

You move your hands to his knees, working Rafe’s cock a little quicker. Gliding him in and out of your tight pussy. "J-Jesus Christ," he mumbles as you roll your hips in a circle on his tip. Moving lower, you take him completely, all of Rafe, every motherfucking inch, as you grind your ass on his lap.

Rafe’s big arms started to tremble, holding himself up, his hips just out of the water, but he wanted to watch his creamy release work in and out.

He grabs your hip, pulling you even closer, slamming you down on his cock as little whimpers and cries slip your lips, sounds you couldn’t hold back if you tried.

“M’So close,” Rafe, you squeal as you you work yourself quicker, bouncing up and down on his cock, your body slapping against him as the shallow water sloshes around you.

Rafe stands up fast, wrapping his arms around your hip, fingers finding your clit, rubbing quickly, pushing you over the edge. You let out a pathetic cry; Rafe’s hand quickly covers your mouth, silencing you, holding his palm over your lips, muffling your moans as you cum around his big cock.

Rafe tucks himself in your neck, muscles clenching tightly as he empties himself into you again, twitching with the last remnants of his orgasm, breathing heavily into your ear. You look back at him breathlessly as he releases a deep, satisfied sigh, pulling you back into the water.

Rafe presses a kiss against your temple and then another, holding you close as he slumps a little deeper into the hot tub with you held close in his arms.

The two of you lose track of time-kissing, touching, letting the vapor swirl around you. You look up at the sky, watching the snowflakes dance down from the darkness, the winter chill letting you know you can’t stay out here forever.

When you look back at Rafe, his beautiful blue eyes are on yours, filled with anxiety. You cup his cheeks, rubbing your thumbs across the slight stubble. "We can't go back from this, baby," he rasps. “I don’t want to pretend like this didn’t happen-”

"Then don't,” you wrap your arms around his neck, fingers scratching into his wet hair. “We don’t have to talk about it right now…”

“Tomorrow?” he asks, and you can’t help but smile, knowing that he doesn’t want to push this aside. This isn’t a one-time thing. He wants this just as much as you do, and he’s willing to wade through the drama sooner rather than later.

“It’s going to be a mess…” You whisper.

“Yeah… I’ll be worth it for you,” he assures, his gentle rasp heard just over the steady whooshing of the jets.

“I agree.”

tags: @rafesthroatbaby @littlelamy @kisses4angels @watchmerora @buckybarnessweetheart @anamiad00msday @namelesslosers @cades-outsider @romaescapes @starkeysprincess @oxpogues4lifexo @unrealmirrorball @sleepiibunniiii @gri959 @rafesgiirl @daryldixon83 @akobx @hyperfixationgirl @lhhlver @rrafeswhore @slut-4-gojo @blair-bears-blog @loveesiren @cameronwillow @rafegf-real @alphabetically-deranged @ariana2saucyy @rafestoothbrush

[blubwrryslut]

blasphemy. eren y.

𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑ preachers daughter! nsfw. lol, this is my first work so be nice ya’ll! i have a longer version of this story in the works it’s probably gonna be 10k+ works indulging in their backstory, but enjoy! merry christmas everyone! 𖤐⭒๋࣭⭑

“shit. shit. shit. c’mere.” calloused hands from years of work dig into your soft flesh, pinching, squeezing, tracing every curve and dip of your body. the rough texture of his hands contrasts sharply with your smooth skin, sending shivers down your spine. drool gathers pathetically around the corners of your pouted lips as you desperately grip his shoulders for some sort of solace, nails digging in and leaving crescent-shaped marks imprinting his skin. he takes your wide hips in his hands, guiding them in a slow, deliberate rhythm as you bounce on his dick, gasping with each movement against your velvety walls. the room is filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure, the rhythmic creaking of the wooden bed, and the soft, breathy moans escaping your mouth. it drives him fucking insane.

"kiss me, please—shit, i need you to kiss me." needy. that’s exactly what the man is but he doesn’t care. you’re like a fucking drug he can’t shake, you’re in his veins. you lean down, he kisses you once, then twice, it’s a disgusting kiss, spit dribbling from your chin as he cocks his head to the side deepening it. the feeling of your squelching pussy sliding across him is enough to make him utter those four stupid letters. “how ya think lil ol daddy would feel? seeing his perfect little girl like this all fucked out—god!” the thought alone has his eyes rolling into the back of his head, usually, you’d bite back but the way that his tip kisses your cervix each time you swivel your hips against his has your mind foggy.

your thighs ache, and eren’s holding your waist so tight that you're sure there will be bruises tomorrow. he thrusts up into you, his cock filling you over and over again. the way he moves you is sinful, his large frame underneath you as he fucks up into you like a toy. his fingers find their way to your swollen clit and you can barely hold yourself up. you're fucking putty in his hands, whimpering and mewling for more as you feel the knot in your stomach growing tighter. "oh my god, ren” you sob, he knows exactly what to do to get a rise out of you, his voice alone could make you cum.

"fuck, you're tight. c'mon, lemme see that pretty face." he grips your hair and pulls your head back, watching the expressions flit across your pretty features as he uses you, chasing his own high. "look at me. look at me, sweetheart.” you can't deny him, your eyes meeting his dark ones. he looks so pretty, his grown out mullet usually pulled to the back falling into his sweat ridden face, rosy cheeks, eyebrows scrunched together. “s-so handsome,” you whine. that’s enough to send him over the edge, cum spurting inside of you, leaking from your used hole. “ren!” you nearly scream as your orgasm rushes over you next, spasming in his arms as he whispers sweet nothings. eren yeager was nothing but trouble, and now you’d been sucked in. shit.

[kentopedia]

˚₊‧꒰ა ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY — levi ackerman

𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎. your car breaks down before you can make it home for christmas. it leaves you with no choice but to call your ex-boyfriend.

𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓈. fluff, sfw, gn!reader, exes, christmas, light angst, second chance romance, soft!levi, modern au — 3.3k words

𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈. dropping the annual levi christmas fic. happy birthday to my beloved, he is such a special character to me and has gotten me thru some rough times :( forever grateful u exist levi ackerman. this was going to go in a completely different direction in my head but... alas the words lead me and i must follow. hope you enjoy!

Of all the things to happen on Christmas Eve, car trouble ranked among the worst. Which, naturally, meant that’s exactly what happened to you. 

Something not too far from a blizzard had come in overnight, coating the roads in a thick, hazardous blanket. It looked beautiful, sure, but you were two hours away from where you needed to be on Christmas, and you figured — how bad could it be?

The answer was bad.

You’d skidded, blown out a tire (they were old, due for a change), and found your hood popped open with an odd smoke, stranded only 30 minutes south of where you’d come from. Your family was expecting you home by the evening, there to see everyone for Christmas Eve dinner. 

At this rate, you’d be lucky if you made it for Christmas at all.

After cursing yourself profusely for not just taking an extra day off and leaving yesterday, you started scrolling through your phone, looking for assistance.

The towing company answered the line in a sharp tone, already dismissive of your worries. It was idiots like you that kept them working Christmas Eve, and their annoyance was evident.

“What can I do for you?” a man, testy and older, answered. 

You explained the situation, and received a less than understanding response. 

“Sorry, miss, but we’ll be two hours out. There’s been a few other incidents, and we’re short-staffed. We can give you another call when we free up.”

“But I need to be somewhere tonight. There must be something you can do?”

“Sorry,” he said again, but it was clear he wasn’t very sorry at all. “If I were you, I’d start making calls… See if there’s anyone brave enough to come pick you up in this weather.”

He hung up on you.

You groaned, throwing your hands up in the air. It was unlikely that anyone would want to be your savior tonight. Your family was still 70 miles away, and everyone else you knew had other plans for Christmas Eve. 

But. 

You knew this stretch of road well, were more familiar with it than most streets along here. It was a country highway that wrapped around the smaller town before leading you onto the interstate, one direction to your hometown, the other to the city you lived in. 

Of course, it was here that your car had decided to break down, just ten minutes away from your ex-boyfriend’s house — a man you knew would be home, and certainly wouldn’t be afraid of the weather. 

In fact, he was the only one that wasn’t a tedious drive away, that could save you from the unfortunate situation you’d found yourself in.

You squeezed your eyes tight, trying not to cry. 

Calling Levi seemed your only choice — as pathetic of a choice as that was. You weren’t even sure he’d still have your number, or if he’d answer. But, your hands were becoming numb, the temperatures were dropping with the sun, and you weren’t sure how long you could stay out here without getting frostbite.

Still, on the second ring, you faltered, licking your lips. 

Maybe this was a bad idea. It’d been three years, after all. For all you knew, he could’ve had a new partner, could’ve been engaged. He could’ve moved across the country without any warning — you had no idea. 

Your hand started to fall away from your cheek, phone dropping with it. But the familiar tone stopped you, interrupting the third ring.

“Hello?” 

You exhaled, unprepared for the wave of emotions that washed over you from that simple word. Levi sounded exactly like you’d remembered, his voice even, almost monotone, nothing in it betraying his emotions. 

Still, it made your stomach twist. You couldn’t help but recall a time when that word had held a hint of affection in it.

“Levi,” you said, pushing away that line of thought to keep your voice steady. “You answered.” 

He was, apparently, just as surprised as you were. There was a long pause on the other end, before he resumed talking.

“I almost didn’t,” Levi admitted, releasing a breath of air that had to have come through his nose. “I didn’t want to. But, I couldn’t think of a good reason you’d call me on Christmas Eve unless—”

“I’m so sorry,” you cut him off, apologizing. You pinched the bridge of your nose, shivering in the cold. “I wouldn’t be calling if I weren’t desperate. but my car broke down — I was driving back to my parents’ house, and the tow company can’t come yet…” you rushed through the story, sparing too many details. “But it’s freezing, and you were the closest person I could think to call.”

He went silent once again. 

That was when you started to realize how crazy you’d been to call him. The last conversation you’d had was around this time of year, both of you stiffly walking through all the reasons you were worse for each other than you were better. 

This was a horrible idea. 

“I’m sorry,” you said again, shaking your head. Tears of embarrassment flooded your waterline. You weren’t sure they’d ever stopped. “This was stupid. Fuck. Forget it. I’ll—” 

“Where are you?” 

“What?” 

“Where are you?” Levi repeated, insistent. “I only answered because I figured it was an emergency. Looks like I was right. So where are you?” 

Your heart flipped at the notion that, even if it was a small part of him, he still cared. 

After fifteen more minutes of shivering in your freezing car, you ended up back at Levi’s house. The same house he’d lived in for ten years, and probably would live in until he died.

Levi wasn’t a homebody — in fact, he liked to spend more time outside of the house than he probably spent in it. He traveled a lot, sometimes for work, sometimes for fun. But it was a home that had belonged to his mother, until she passed away when he was freshly eighteen. 

Even if he hated living in this suburban town, you didn’t think he could stomach to part with the home he’d been raised in. One of the only things he had left of his mom.

It was almost heartbreaking, that you knew such intimate details about a person that had faded out of your life.

Levi’s house looked about the same, but Levi… Well, he looked incredible. As far as breakups went, he must have gotten the better end of it.  

His black hair was lightly dusted with snow when he helped you out of his car, red cheeks a bright contrast against his pale skin. Time may have dulled your memory of him, but you could have sworn his eyes had gotten even more blue in the time you’d been apart.

God, he was gorgeous. How had you ever been with someone like him?

“Would you like any tea?” Levi asked, taking you to the kitchen. Not like you’d forgotten how to get there. You’d spent enough time in his house to know the layout, right down to the foundation.

“Sure,” you said, still shivering, even with the heat blasting in the house. “Thank you, Levi. Not just for the tea, but for helping me. I won’t stay long, I promise.”

Levi was rummaging through his cabinet, and looked over his shoulder, back at you. Something rest on the edge of his tongue, but he said nothing, busying himself once more. 

The kitchen was the same as you’d remembered. None of the furniture had changed, but he’d added new appliances, changed out some of the cookware. Poinsettias were in the middle of the table, the only festive thing in the room.

You stared at them, and frowned, the tension between the two of you palpable. While you’d met each other once again like you’d never been parted, there still an underlying current of mistrust and uncertainty. A feeling that was expected to linger.

The break-up between you hadn’t been nasty, but you hadn’t parted on the best of terms, either. You and Levi had always argued… a lot. Half the time, it didn’t mean anything, but you couldn’t stop yourself from spitting something mean when you got angry.

It was your similarities that drove you apart, not your differences. You were both so neat, you fought over where things were meant to go. You were both independent, you grew frustrated with sharing space and compromises.

You were both stubborn, and never admitted to being wrong, even when it caused a rift between you and split you apart for good.

Of course, the worst issue was your tendency to bottle up your feelings, rather than talk through them. A problem that Levi shared — meaning that every little thing between you was brushed under the rug, only to trip you up later.

Levi brought the steaming mug over, pushing it to you across the table. You took a small sip of it, blinking at him over the edge of ceramic. 

“My favorite tea?” you asked, recognizing the taste of it immediately. “You remembered.” 

“I wasn’t sure if you still liked it, but I’ve kept it around anyway,” Levi said, and, as if realizing what he’d admitted, continued, “It grew on me. I drink it now.” 

You smiled. It was small and sad, mourning all the things you’d lost, but the sentiment warmed you all the same. You remembered Levi loved earl grey in the mornings, and chamomile before bed. In the fall, he preferred rooibos, the color and flavor reminded him of the autumn leaves. 

Or maybe he didn’t. Maybe he didn’t like any of those things, anymore. 

“I’m glad you like it now,” you said, humming. “You never did, before.” 

It sounded like a jab, even if you didn’t mean it as one. Levi stiffened, only slightly, before he released the tension and snorted, tightening his grip around the mug. 

You glanced at his hands, slender and pale, veins purple under his skin. Hands that had once roamed all over your body, slipped inside you, pulling you apart from the seams. 

That wasn’t a path you wanted to go down. You blinked, pushing away that line of thought as your stomach flipped, and prayed he hadn’t noticed your staring. 

“Anyway,” Levi coughed, clearing his throat. 

You nearly shrunk from embarrassment, certain that he had discerned your thoughts, but Levi wasn’t looking at you at all. His eyes were fixed on the clock across the room, watching the hand rotate around the frame. 

“You were visiting your family. How have they been?” 

Safe conversation, easy conversation. The kind that you could have had with any stranger, even if Levi knew all your family by name, knew your Christmas traditions. You repeated old history anyway, like you were meeting him for the first time, sharing weekend plans with an acquaintance before going your separate ways. 

The two of you chatted for a while, sipping on your teas, all the while, avoiding the topic of his holiday plans — if only to sidestep the discomfort that came with hearing he had none. Not that that was shameful, of course. Plenty of people did nothing for the holidays, didn’t want to. 

But, Levi had always come home with you for Christmas, for five years. Everyone loved him. Although you’d been nervous, at first, Levi fit right in, made himself comfortable with those that you cherished. He was polite, even though his sarcasm often bled through. But, that only made him funnier, in the eyes of everyone you held dear. They’d always given him two sets of gifts — for Christmas and his birthday — excited to watch him open them. 

Levi had always been so stoic when he responded with a stiff thank you, but you could see how touched he was, how pleased to be integrating himself so easily into your life. 

He’d made your holidays better than they’d ever been.

Now, he spent them alone. 

You couldn’t help but feel like your breakup had taken something special away from him, something he should’ve gotten to keep, even whilst you were separated. Maybe you could invite him home with you, just so your cousins could play one more round of cards with him and lose.

Melancholia flowered in your chest, and you, then, yearned for those moments, the ones you’d kept so dear. 

How had everything gone so wrong?

Your conversation stalled. You looked at each other, unsure what to say next. 

Shifting anxiously in your seat, you stood, as if for the first time realizing that you were in Levi Ackerman’s house, and you shouldn’t have been. That you were having cordial conversation with a man you swore to never speak to again, and it was like falling back into a routine, it was normal. 

And that was the worst thing about it — you knew why’d you’d broken up, but right now, you could hardly recall a good reason.

“I’m sorry,” you said for the millionth time that evening, eyes flashing towards the clock. It had only been thirty minutes, but the snow was getting worse and your tea was cold. “I should call my parents and let them know I won’t be home tonight. Hopefully the roads will be—”

“Wait.” Levi reached out, grabbing your hand before you could stand and make your exit. 

Your eyes flashed down to where you touched, at the same time his did, before you uncomfortably broke away. Levi blinked, then chewed the inside of his cheek, his mouth still drawn into that unexpressive, thin line. 

“What?” you asked, after too many seconds of silence. 

Levi inhaled, then dropped his head, jaw working as he looked away. “I’ve done a lot of thinking, over the past two years.”

Your breath caught in your chest. “About?” 

You already knew the answer.

“When we—” He licked his lips, eyes narrowing at the microwave, before they met your own. “Decided to end it.” 

Decided to end it. What a harsh way of putting it, but you supposed it was true. A final round in the passionate romance you’d had. A break-up seemed too simple for what you’d been, when it had ripped your heart out of your chest. 

“Oh,” you said, swallowing. 

“I know you might not want to have this conversation,” he said, nodding to himself. “But I need to say what I should’ve a long time ago. That I’m sorry.” Levi’s eyes were on you then, a more intense shade than you’d ever seen before. You froze, feeling unable to move, locked in the storminess of his gaze. “So many things were my fault. All the times I was dismissive, the times I was angry. All the times I didn’t communicate when I should’ve.” He released a breath, and despite his bravado, you realized he was just as nervous as you were. “I didn’t know how to love you like you wanted, and I’m sorry that I did such a bad job of it.” 

You blinked, watching him shift in his chair. “Levi…” you said slowly, softly, the word agonizing as it left his lips. 

“I know that doesn’t make it right, but I need you to know. I am sorry. You deserved better.” 

That, alone, brought you close to tears, that he seemed to be taking the blame for all the things that went wrong. Putting it on himself, when it was both of you, incapable of working together. “Levi, I’m sorry too,” you blinked back your tears, setting aside your pride. You’d already lost enough dignity, what was a little more? “You loved me just fine. Maybe I just couldn’t appreciate what I had. I never tried hard enough to make it work.” 

“That isn’t true.” 

“Yes, it is.” 

“No,” Levi huffed, “it’s—” But then he stopped, gathering himself, catching the fall, right back into the same old routine. You looked down at your hands, embarrassed. “We weren’t bad for each other. Nothing we ever did was bad for each other.” It sounded like a question, even if it wasn’t.

“It must have been,” you said, in a small voice. “Otherwise…” 

Otherwise, you’d still be together. 

Levi smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. His hands clenched and unclenched on the table. “I should’ve called you, when you left. I shouldn’t have let you walk away.” 

“But you did.” 

“I did,” he breathed. “And I regret it every day of my life.” 

You looked up at him, eyes shining at the realization. He still wanted you, maybe even still loved you. 

And as much as you cared for him, as much as your heart still bloomed in your chest at the sight of him, you weren’t sure how you felt about that.

“Levi—” you began, hoping to dispel the conversation. But he didn’t let it get that far, voice cracking at the start of his sentence.

“I mean it. I think about it all the time. About you. You were my friend as much as you were my partner, and I wanted you forever. I miss you. I—” Levi cut himself off, there, at the growing look of fear on your face, the knowledge that he was going to let something slip he shouldn’t. 

It tugged at your heartstrings all the same, and you looked away, wrapping yourself up in your arms. 

Silence fell across the room, the only sound the howling wind outside, a flurry of snow crashing against the window. Levi waited, patiently, for you to be the one to break the silence — and you summoned up all your courage, all your honesty, for a response.

“I would be lying, if I said I didn’t think about it too… What it would be like to try again.” 

Levi looked up, blue eyes narrow, but sharp with anticipation. “You—”

“I miss you too, Levi.” It felt like carving your heart out of your chest and handing it to him on a platter. “But it couldn’t be like it was before. Where we talked to each other about everything except for what really mattered. We can’t.” you swallowed, shaking your head. “I can’t do that again.” 

“I know.” Levi licked his lips. “Is that something… You would want?” 

Was it? Was Levi truly what you wanted, or were you not thinking clearly, only remembering the good times amongst all the bad. Were you just yearning for an idealization of love, a feeling that you’d been missing since splitting with Levi? Was it him you really wanted, or just someone to call your own?

But you knew the answer. It was obvious.

“Yes,” you answered, so quiet you weren’t sure he could hear it. “I would… I do want that. Maybe that’s why I didn’t hesitate to call you tonight.” 

Levi didn’t smile, but his eyes brightened, the storminess fading away so they looked like the sky. The cloud of grey above him melted away, and he seemed even younger than he had before, caught in the promises of adoration, akin to a boy in a schoolyard. 

“You can spend Christmas with me. Your birthday,” you said, hesitantly, not knowing if you’d even make it home, if you’d be stuck here. If that kind of invitation was not yours to give. “If that’s something you’d want.” 

“It is,” Levi answered softly, without questioning it, gripping your hand across the table. “I would’t want to spend it any other way.”

You smiled at each other, then, caught up in the glow of Christmas lights and the snow outside, a shaky vow holding between you. Maybe things wouldn’t change — maybe they would go back to how it’d been before, neither of you ever saying what you really meant. Maybe you’d hurt each other worse than you ever had before. 

But you loved him — you loved each other. And that could be enough.

thank you for reading! ❤︎ reblogs and comments are appreciated!!! i might write a pt 2 if there is enough interest, but i wanted to finish this before christmas ◡̈

[scudevils]

baby, it’s cold outside — JB9

pairing: joe burrow x fem!reader

warnings: smut, morning breath doesn’t exist, established relationship, pwp, swearing, not proofread!!

inspired by: “baby it’s cold outside” by dean martin [2.3k]

a/n: ew i hate the ending okay i can never write them 😔😔

joe would never deny his hatred of the cold, from playing in it to simply just feeling it, he hated the way it nipped at his skin, leaving his hands red and sore, the way his face flushed. you, however, found it adorable, when he flashed up on the big screen and his cheeks had turned a pretty pink, the tip of his nose starting to look like rudolph.

a winter storm had sure set in for the night, your bedroom window frosted over as the pale morning sun reflected off of the snow outside, glistening like shining jewels across the grass, although you knew it’d be a pain to clean off of the car, the picture was so winter wonderland it was worth the hassle in your eyes.

winters in cincinnati were rough for him, he still hadn't adapted to the below 10 mornings in the years he'd been with the team, instead seeking your comfort and warmth in the bed you shared before his early practices, never wanting to leave the safe space of his covers in the morning, savouring it as he dragged himself to the shower, where for some reason he refused to had warm morning showers, even when you joined them with him.

you felt his stirring in his sleep, already been awake for at least half an hour with his arm still wrapped loosely around your waisg, always an early riser despite the later sun rises you were getting, your room still covered in a blanket of darkness despite the time on the alarm clock reading 6:58 am in bold, due to go off any minute to wake joe up for practice, and whilst you had the luxury of going back to sleep, he did not, so you were left to your own thoughts.

in the corner of the room, a small decorated tree stuck out in your thoughts, a smile tugging on your lips at the memory of getting it with him when you'd first moved in together two years ago, and thereafter decorating it together, your first christmas seeming so long ago like a blur in your mind. your vanity in the other corner of your room was adorned with other decorations, the picture of you and joe at your first christmas tree lighting in high school together front and centre.

your attention fell back to the sleeping man beside you, his hand subconsciously with a grip on your hip, still deep in whatever dream he was having as you could make out his eyebrows furrowing in the rays of the rising sun that reflected in through the open drawn curtains. down his neck and along his collarbone you caught a glimpse of the marks from the night before, purple and red bruises littering the taut skin, scratch marks travelling over his shoulder and down his back.

mornings together like these were easily up there as the favourite part of your relationship with joe, you both had busy lives, so it was always special to you to have time spent together wether asleep or not. neither of you had any other need than staying close to the other, the gentle rise and fall of his chest soothing you almost to sleep again. just on time, his alarm sounded in the background, feeling him pulling you closer into him as he let out a tired groan, unhappy that he'd been brought out of his peaceful slumber.

tiredly, you left soft kisses across his bare skin, making his waking up at least a little bit more manageable, tilting your head to look up at him when you reached his chest, a small smile forming on your lips as you noticed the tip of his nose had turned a light pink, the coldness in the air wasn't missed by him as he brought the duvet further up your bodies.

the hand you had draped over joe's midriff moved to trace over his bare chest, feeling the goosebumps raising on his skin from the coldness in your touch, the heat of his body quickly fighting it off as you felt the muscles contracting under your light touch when your touch went lower. you tried to bring your hand lower down his body, the feeling of his grabbing your wrists held you back, reactions still quick despite his tired state.

"just wanna warm you up." you said innocently, unconvincingly apparently , as joe finally opened his eyes to meet yours, the mischievousness hiding in plain sight behind them. teasingly, giving him a kiss on the cheek as he leant in, his lips slightly cold at first, warming up quickly against your own as his hand crawled its way up and down your leg, a slight squeeze of your ass when he got there before resting it back on your hips.

he had brought your leg up to sit on his hip, the motion having him so close you could feel his entire body against you, the heat radiating off him. the action also allowed him to deepen the kiss, his tongue pushing past your lips as you let him take control, pulling you on top of his body, legs straddling his hips now. from your position now, you could see the corners of the windows had began to frost, the sight of snow undeniable as the sun reflected off of its bright surface. there was still a chill in the air, bringing the covers up to cover your body as you sat over him.

you lightly traced your finger down his face, the one you shamelessly loved to look at so much, the one you looked for in the stadium from your seat and he looked back. the eyelashes you'd always been jealous of framed his eyes perfectly, even as he held them sleepily open, his eyes were mesmerising, forcing you to hold eye contact with him.

there was no way you could talk about how much you loved his face without mentioning his lips - ones that have explored your own and your body only hours ago - you swore he's memorised his way around by now. his bottom lip slightly juts you graze it with your thumb, watching it fall back into place when you let go.

"did i not tire you out enough last night?" for the first time that morning, you're blessed with his morning voice, raspy and deep and deep and one you're sure you'll never get sick of, wanting to hear it every morning for the rest of your lift, a christmas present from him.

you lean closer to him, muscular arms wrapping around your back to hold you secure as you did so, lips just barely grazing joes ear. "could never get tired of you, joey."

just barely, you could hear him swearing under his breath, absentmindedly rolling your hips down against him with the grip he had on you, heat rushing to your cheeks as a small moan escaped your lips from the friction. "you're gonna be the death of me, baby." he muttered to you under his breath, smiling at him teasingly, you gave an experimental grind of your hips, wanting to see how much control he was willing to give you.

he lifted you off of him slightly, the pair of boxer shorts you'd stole from him that now acted as sleep shorts, off in an instant and you were back down on him, the pair of basketball shorts he'd been wearing pulled down just enough to free his cock. "gotta head to practice soon, we're gonna have to be quick." you knew if it was up to him he'd have you both locked in the room, tangled up in your bedsheets together, spending the rest of the day in each others arms, but he unfortunately didn't have time on his side.

you craved his touch, feeling his semi-hardon against you since the moment you'd woken up, feeling the way his hips subconsciously rutted against your ass, and you'd be a liar to say that it didn't turn you on that he wanted you in his dreams just as much as he wanted you awake. a prolonged whine fell from your lips as he bottomed out inside of you, about to drag your hips in a rocking motion when you pressed your hand against his chest.

with less than a second to react, he pressed his lips against yours, the kiss far too intense for a quick morning make out, had your head spinning, the slow drag of his hips slipping a moan from your lips into his mouth. tracking down your jaw and neck, his lips left dark purple marks in their wake in various sizes and shades. you whined as he bit into the soft skin at the base of your neck, soothing the stinging with his tongue.

"fuck joey, thought we had to be quick." your words were breathless, absentmindedly grinding your hips down to meet his and you could feel him deep inside of you, his hands not providing you with aid as he made you do the work to get yourself there, instead running his tongue along your collarbone as he made a mess of your chest with hickey's, in places only his eyes would see, driving him even more feral for you.

“can always take my time with you.” he confessed, lips brushing against your ear as he spoke, the hands that hadn’t helped you before now rested on your hips, keeping you at a steady space, occasionally thrusting up to meet your rhythm but with the most part letting you take your time.

you could feel one of his hands move from your hip, his large palm finding its way to the inside of your thigh and giving the soft flesh a squeeze before his hand grazed over your cunt, a small moan escaping your lips as your head dropped to the hollow part of his shoulder. his thumb toying with your clit as you clenched around him. “fuck, can feel your close, baby.”

you were only able to respond with a short hum, pleading and whining at him to give you more when he began to take over your hips, moving them against him quicker now, someone feeling him deeper inside of you, like he was hitting every spot that had your eyesight fogging and toe’s curling from the pleasure. “shit, joe,” you could feel your orgasm building, practically knocking at the door as your bodies moved against each other.

his hands roamed all over your body as if he was exploring it for the first time, the cold tips of his fingers digging into the flesh of your ass as he held you down against him, stopping your movements before he begun thrusting up into you, the pleasure overwhelming as you fell against his chest, one of his hands coming to cup your breast, squeezing the flesh and rolling your hardened nipple between his fingers before giving the same attention to the other. “you’re so beautiful, baby.”

you could hear the roughness in his voice, driving you more crazy for him than you already were, as you took back a little more of the control as your hips connected with his faster, the sound of skin on skin filling the room, long forgotten was the winter chill as you took solace in each others bodies, the time on the clock already reading that he’d be late for practice if he didn’t get up now, but he couldn’t have cared less, his attention fully on you as his blue eyes pierced yours, you could see how he was holding himself back, waiting for you to finish before he did and rhe sentiment alone drove you absolutely feral.

the sight of you on top of him was almost too much for him to control himself, the blissed out state on his face becoming more apparent as you clenched around him when his thumb found your clit against, quickening against the sensitive spot and it finally had you tumbling over the edge, your body falling flat against joe’s, the only reason your hips continued moving was because of his hands, working you through it as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear, a low guttural groan falling from his lips as he finished inside of you.

his hands wrapped around your back, pulling you against his chest as your hands fell comfortably on his shoulders, the tension in your body gone and you whined as he slid out of you slowly, a comforting hand rubbing up and down your back as the cold air began to bite at you again, the quiet a welcomed state.

you stayed like this for a few minutes, joe making the first move to get up as he went and got a towel to clean you up, and you heard him from the bathroom as he let out a “fuck i’m gonna be so late.” after finally reading the time on the alarm clock.

[chosok-amo]

BLACK AND BRUISE : RYOMEN SUKUNA

“feels like we had matching wounds, but mine’s still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine.” you broke up with your boyfriend for four years and the day after you broke up you saw him already with another girl. you can’t stand the heartbreak so you choose to erase yourself from his life like you were never there, like you don’t exist, until a few years later.

warning. non-sorcerer au, angst no comfort, pregnant reader, yuuji is in his late 20

p.s i may or may not make this another part but from sumuna’s pov. ( previous part )

the gentle warmth of the sun poured into the room, its golden beams slipping past the half-drawn curtains and casting delicate patterns across the walls. the light crept over your face, its persistent glow teasing your lashes until they fluttered open. you groaned softly, shifting under the weight of sleep, when a firm nudge at your shoulder startled you awake. it wasn’t gentle, not in the least—it was rough, urgent, almost impatient.

“wake up.”

the words sliced through the haze of your slumber, low and commanding, like a distant thunderstorm rolling in. your eyes fluttered again, squinting against the blinding glow of the morning. a tall, shadowy figure loomed above you, its broad frame blotting out the sunlight. it was as if the room suddenly darkened, save for the faint illumination outlining his figure.

blinking rapidly, you tried to focus, your vision sharpening just enough to catch a glimpse of him. there he stood, Sukuna—towering, imposing, his body a canvas of intricate tattoos that seemed alive under the morning light. his crimson eyes bore into yours, their depths cold, unrelenting. the sharp lines of his face were cut from stone, handsome yet devoid of warmth, his expression as still as death itself.

a small smile tugged at your lips despite the unease blooming in your chest. your voice, rough and raspy from sleep, managed a soft, “good morning, baby.” your hand stretched toward him instinctively, seeking comfort in his familiar presence. but before your fingertips could graze his skin, he stepped back.

your smile faltered, replaced by a frown that deepened as the distance between you grew. the sheets crumpled around you as you sat up, your chest tightening at his rejection. the way his cold, crimson gaze lingered on you sent a chill down your spine, a feeling of vulnerability washing over you like ice water.

“baby?” you whispered, your voice laced with confusion, almost pleading. the light that once felt warm and comforting now seemed harsh and unforgiving, illuminating every crack in the fragile peace you thought you shared. your heart thudded heavily, the silence between you stretching unbearably.

what was wrong? why was he like this? the questions tumbled through your mind like an avalanche, threatening to suffocate you, but his expression revealed nothing. he remained stoic, a living fortress, impenetrable and unyielding. the golden morning light framed him like a phantom—beautiful, distant, and untouchable.

but he didn’t respond. his silence felt heavy, like a storm cloud looming overhead, ready to break at any moment. your chest tightened with unease, the warmth of the morning light now doing little to combat the cold sinking into your bones.

you sat up straighter, clutching the blanket to your chest with trembling hands. the soft fabric felt like a fragile shield, barely enough to protect you from the weight of his gaze. it wasn’t like this with him—never like this. the sukuna you knew could be sharp-tongued and cruel to others, but with you, there had always been something softer beneath the layers of his rough exterior. but now, as he stood there, unmoving and silent, it felt as if that part of him had vanished.

“baby…” your voice broke the stillness, trembling yet desperate. “what’s wrong?”

your eyes searched his face, hoping to find a trace of the man you loved, the one who held you close during your darkest nights and kissed your forehead like it was sacred ground. but his expression remained unreadable, carved from stone.

the light coming through the curtains illuminated the details of his tattoos, the dark, intricate patterns that wrapped around his arms and climbed his neck, a stark contrast to the vulnerability you felt in that moment. the tension in the air was suffocating, your pulse quickening as you awaited a response—any response.

his silence was deafening, and the distance between you felt more vast than the few steps he had taken away from the bed. your fingers gripped the blanket tighter, the soft material wrinkling under your grasp as you tried to steady yourself.

“please,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, breaking under the weight of your emotions. “baby, talk to me.” still, he said nothing, his crimson eyes watching you with an intensity that made your stomach churn. the morning light, once gentle and golden, now felt harsh and accusing, casting stark shadows across the room and magnifying the growing chasm between you.

his silence was an abyss, a vortex that threatened to pull you in and devour you whole. fear prickled at the edge of your consciousness, making your heart race. the man who used to hold you close, who used to whisper reassurances into your ear, now stood there like a stranger, his gaze as cold and distant as the frozen tundra.

you took a deep breath, desperately trying to steady your voice. “d-did i do something?” you cursed the quiver in your voice, loathing the weakness it betrayed.

sukuna stayed silent, his gaze unwavering as he studied you. for a brief moment, you thought he might finally answer, but instead, he scoffed—a low, derisive sound that cut through the stillness like a blade. he rolled his eyes, the sharp motion as dismissive as the scoff had been, before turning his back on you. the weight of his retreat felt like a physical blow as he strode to the wardrobe across the room, his movements deliberate, almost cold.

“why are you asking?” he said, his voice carrying that familiar edge of irritation. “i thought you already knew what was going on.” his words hung in the air, dripping with accusation, and your heart sank further. his tone was indifferent, like he couldn’t believe you’d dare to ask. he flung the wardrobe doors open with a sharp pull, the sound of the hinges echoing in the quiet room.

you swallowed hard, clutching the blanket tighter around you as if it could shield you from the storm brewing within him. his broad back was turned to you now, the muscles in his shoulders shifting under the patterns of his tattoos as he rummaged through the clothes, seemingly more interested in the contents of the wardrobe than in giving you a real answer.

your mind raced, trying to piece together what he meant, what you could’ve done—or not done—to warrant this reaction. the way he spoke, like you should already know, only deepened the ache in your chest. “i… i don’t understand,” you murmured, your voice trembling as you tried to make sense of his words. “what are you talking about, ryo?”

your words were like a whisper in the face of his silent storm. sukuna continued to rummage through the wardrobe, unbothered by your plea. each movement was harsh, filled with a restrained anger that sent a shudder down your spine.

his silence spoke volumes. as he sifted through the hangers, each rustle of fabric seemed to punctuate his irritation. sukuna’s shoulders tensed at the sound of his name. the familiarity of it, the way it rolled off your tongue like it belonged there, grated on his nerves. he clenched his jaw, the muscles flexing as he continued to rummage through the wardrobe, his fingers yanking clothes off hangers with a bit more force than necessary.

“you don’t understand?” he echoed, his tone biting, “or you’re pretending not to understand?” he didn’t look back, his gaze fixed on the row of shirts in front of him, like they were the most fascinating thing in the room.

then, without warning, he stopped. his fingers stilled, gripping the edge of the wardrobe door. for a moment, you thought he might say nothing more. but then he turned, slow and deliberate, the weight of his gaze crashing into you like a tidal wave.

his crimson eyes burned with an intensity that made it hard to breathe, and yet his expression remained unsettlingly calm. “you asked for a breakup yesterday,” he said, his voice low but firm, steady as a heartbeat. the words hung between you, heavy and unrelenting, as his eyebrows arched slightly, as if daring you to deny it. “remember?”

your mind reeled, his words slamming into you like a punch to the gut. the memories of the previous night stirred, rushing in like a flood you weren’t ready to face. you had called him, your voice trembling with emotion as you told him you couldn’t do this anymore. you’d said it so clearly, so desperately—“i think we should break up.”

you could still hear his response, as clear as the ache in your chest now: “i don’t do breakups.”

and then, like the cruelest twist of fate, the two of you had ended up in the kitchen, the place you’d shared countless meals and stolen kisses over the years. the intimacy of that moment had been almost unbearable—his hands gripping your hips as though trying to anchor you in place, his lips trailing fire down your neck, as if to remind you of everything you were trying to leave behind.

but now, standing before him, hearing those words fall from his lips, you were dumbfounded. your chest constricted, and you clutched the blanket tighter against you, as if the fabric could hold you together when everything inside you felt like it was shattering.

“ryo…” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you searched his face for some kind of reprieve, some trace of the man who wouldn’t let you go last night. “but you said…” but the words faltered, dying in your throat, because a part of you didn’t know if that was true. sukuna watched you, his gaze unwavering, silently gauging your reaction to his words. a twisted satisfaction coiled in his chest seeing the dumbfounded look on your face, the way your body seemed to shrink away as the reality of last night’s conversation dawned on you.

he let you struggle for words, relishing the way your voice broke mid-thought. “but i said…?” he echoed your phrase, his tone laced with mockery. his lips curled into a cold smirk, the edge of his canine peeking out as he took a step towards the bed, closing the distance between you. “but i said…” he leaned down, his face now just inches from your own, his breath warm against your skin as he spoke, his voice a low, dangerous murmur. “you’re not going anywhere.”

the words were a stark contrast to the gentleness of his movements. he reached out, his fingers tracing the edges of the blanket you clutched to your chest, as if they were caressing the fabric rather than you. the small touch still sent a shiver down your spine.

he took another step forward, his body now towering over you, caging you in with his presence. “you’re a trembling mess,” he continued, his gaze moving over your face, taking in every small reaction, every flutter of your eyelashes, every shake of your breath. “it’s pathetic.” a hand shot out, gripping your chin, forcing you to look at him directly. his fingers pressed into your skin, not enough to hurt but with enough firmness to make you feel constrained, as if he owned every inch of you—heart, body, soul.

you looked at him, eyes wide and glassy, the tears that threatened to spill over gathering at the edges but refusing to fall—as though even they were terrified of him, too. your chest felt as though it were weighed down by an invisible stone, each breath shallow, a laborious effort, as you struggled to process the poison dripping from his words. his tone, sharp and unforgiving, sliced through the fragile shell of your composure, leaving jagged wounds in its wake.

his crimson eyes locked with yours, but they were not the same as they once were. gone was the warmth, the fire, the spark that once breathed life into them. in their place was an emptiness, a coldness so profound it seemed to swallow everything whole. they were no longer eyes, but hollow pits, mere remnants of what had once been, as if the embers of some long-dead flame flickered weakly before finally expiring, leaving only ash and the residue of something lost.

his smirk widened, distorting his once-beautiful features into something cruel and alien. the face you had known, the face that had once smiled with a warmth you thought was reserved just for you, was now unrecognizable, a mask of mockery and disdain. his hand tightened around your chin, forcing your gaze upward before it was shoved away, not violently, but with such casual cruelty that it made you feel as though you were nothing—small, insignificant, a mere afterthought in his world.

“but i say a lot of things,” he murmured, his voice dripping with mockery, the words slipping from his lips like poison. he savored each syllable, letting them hang in the air, thick with bitterness, each one designed to wound deeper than the last. “you should know by now that you can’t ever really trust me.”

he bit down on his lower lip, as if he found some faint amusement in the scene unfolding before him, though it was a cruel sort of amusement—half-hearted, a shadow of something darker. the smirk that had briefly faltered now returned with a force that made your heart tighten, twisting the knife already lodged deep in your chest.

“isn’t that something you should’ve learned by now?” he continued, his voice almost playful, as though he were talking to a child who had failed to learn even the simplest lesson. his head tilted slightly to the side, a subtle gesture that made the room feel even smaller, as though the walls were closing in on you, bearing down on you with the weight of everything he was. “years of dating me, and you haven’t figured out even one or two things about men?” he paused, letting the silence stretch painfully between you, before leaning in closer, his breath barely a whisper against your trembling lips. “especially me?”

his tone softened, but it wasn’t kindness that softened it. it was venom, deliberate and calculated, each word a subtle stroke against your unraveling spirit. his presence enveloped you, suffocating, like a fog that had settled in, thick and unyielding. his form loomed over you, an oppressive force that seemed to stretch beyond the room, beyond your ability to comprehend, leaving you trapped in his shadow.

you blinked, the tears in your eyes now a silent threat, trembling on the edge of release, but you refused to let them fall—not yet. not in front of him. the ache in your chest deepened, like a weight pressing harder against your lungs, each breath becoming more difficult, more fragile, as though your very existence was being drained away by the sheer presence of his cruelty.

“ryo…” your voice cracked, the sound little more than a fragile whisper, broken and torn between the desire to speak and the fear of being heard. but he only watched, his eyes cold and piercing, cataloging each nuance of your suffering, waiting for the precise moment when you would shatter completely, when the pieces of you would finally crumble under the unbearable weight of it all.

sukuna’s smirk widened, a grotesque expression of satisfaction at the fragile crack in your voice, the soft, desperate pleading that trembled from your lips. his eyes, once drawn to the warmth and depth in yours, now found only the shimmer of unshed tears, a mirror of the suffering he had inflicted. yet, within the storm of pain that had settled in your gaze, there remained a flicker—a stubborn, defiant glimmer that refused to yield to him, that would not grant him the pleasure of seeing you utterly undone.

he leaned forward, his presence overwhelming, his face hovering just beyond the point of contact, his breath a searing, suffocating force against your skin. “you’re even more pathetic than i thought,” he whispered, his voice a languid mockery, each syllable dipped in contempt, the venom in his words thickening the air around you.

a warmth surged inside you, not the softness of vulnerability, but the sharp, sudden burn of fury. anger, that strange and alien force, slithered its way through your chest, cutting through the dull ache of your own misery, its heat rising in knots that twisted tightly within you. it was fierce, a sharpness that stung with every beat of your heart, and it fueled the fire of defiance that now began to smolder beneath your skin. how dare he? how dare he stand there, that twisted smirk still clinging to his face, as though his cruelty could diminish you?

your thoughts spun in a haze, a flickering montage of last night’s events, each image more jarring than the last. if he truly wanted to leave, to sever the fragile thread between you, he could have done so with honesty, in the silence of an agreement. no games, no theatrics, no bitter proclamations that left you questioning your place in a relationship that had, until then, felt like the ground beneath your feet. no promises veiled in intimacy, no sweetness masking the brutality of his indifference, no gestures that now felt nothing but hollow.

and now this? now, in the sterile light of the morning, he discarded you as though you were a discarded object, leaving you trembling, reduced to a mere echo of yourself? the cruelty of it gnawed at you, an unbearable weight pressing down on your chest.

your fingers dug into the blanket, the fabric biting into your skin, your knuckles turning pale as you clung to the familiar sensation, the only thing in the world that felt solid, that didn’t dissolve like ash at his touch. the anger, now a fire burning hot and insistent, pushed against the fragile walls of your composure, demanding to be released. you gritted your teeth, the tension in your jaw nearly unbearable, and as your gaze met his, a flicker of something defiant rose up within you.

“you’re a fucking asshole,” you said, the words tumbling from your mouth like venom, raw and jagged, cutting through the suffocating silence that had enveloped the room. they were harsh, brutal in their simplicity, a fleeting relief against the weight of the moment. yet, even as they left your lips, you could feel the echo of their truth linger, not in the comfort of release, but in the strange, hollow emptiness they left behind.

sukuna’s smile stretched wider, his crimson eyes glinting with a sadistic amusement, as though he found a twisted pleasure in seeing you unravel. there was an unspoken satisfaction in the way you looked at him, your glare, laced with fury, only feeding the darkness in him, stoking the flames of his amusement as if your anger were an exquisite form of entertainment.

he drew closer, his presence overwhelming, and the space between you seemed to disappear, his face now so near that you could feel the heat of his breath, thick with the scent of musk and spice, an intoxication that tangled with the weight of your emotions, making everything feel unbearably heavy.

“so, you’re finally showing some spine, are you?” his voice was low, a mocking rumble that curled around the room, his words almost savoring the moment. “how amusing. it’s almost endearing to see you so riled up.”

his hand reached out, fingers tracing a delicate strand of your hair, the touch light, almost gentle, yet laced with a quiet malice that made your stomach churn. “but, you’re still the same. still fragile, still breakable,” he whispered, as though examining the very essence of your being, reducing it to something delicate and fleeting.

the anger surged within you, a wildfire now, fierce and uncontrollable, and for a split second, the thought of smashing that smirk off his face crossed your mind like a fleeting, violent impulse. yet, even in your fury, you were still trapped, his towering form pressing in on you, your fingers tangled in the folds of the blanket, as though the fabric itself were the only thing anchoring you to reality.

his chuckle rang out, deep and unsettling, a sound that slithered through the air, sending a tremor through your bones. he tilted his head, studying you with the careful gaze of someone who saw your every nuance, as if he were cataloging each flicker of emotion, each broken piece of you. “so much fire, so much defiance,” he mused, his eyes narrowing, “and yet… here you are. still here, clinging to the futile hope that things might somehow return to what they were.”

his words hung in the air, suffocating, as though they carried a truth you had no choice but to accept—an unspoken acknowledgment that the past had long since slipped away, lost beneath the weight of his cruelty.

sukuna’s gaze locked onto yours, his crimson eyes dark and inscrutable. he was watching you, reading you, but giving nothing in return. sukuna was a master of concealment, his emotions tucked away behind a mask of indifference. no flicker of regret, no sign of pain—nothing to betray what he truly felt. and that made it worse. you couldn’t read him, couldn’t find even the smallest crack in his armor. he was impenetrable, a fortress of cruelty and coldness.

he finally pulled away, stepping back, the distance between you growing with every measured movement. the space felt suffocating and freeing all at once. “i have class,” he said, his voice flat, almost bored. “so, i hope you’ll be gone. from my apartment, my life… before i come back.”

the finality in his words hit you like a punch to the chest, knocking the air from your lungs. you stared at him, your lips parted, trembling, but no words came out. disbelief washed over you, followed quickly by a wave of pain so deep it felt like it might drown you. and then the tears came. they spilled over, falling in heavy streams, as relentless as rain desperate to meet the earth, drowning everything in its path. your body shook with the force of it, but your voice was steady, low and sharp like a blade as you spoke.

“i hope you have everything,” you began, your teeth clenched, your words dripping with venom. “everything you could ever want in life. i hope you get it all. and i hope you never feel satisfied.” his expression didn’t change, but his eyes—those crimson eyes you had once loved so deeply—stared back at you with a hollowness you hadn’t noticed before. an emptiness that made your chest ache, even in the midst of your fury.

your voice cracked, but you pressed on, the weight of your pain propelling you forward. “i hope you grow up. i hope you have a wife, a job that pays well. i hope you have beautiful children who adore you.” you paused, your voice dropping to a whisper that was no less deadly. “but i hope there’s a hole inside you that never goes away. a hole that makes you suffer every single day.” you met his gaze, the fire in your eyes burning through your tears. “i hope you have everything, sukuna. everything. and i hope it’s never enough.”

the words hung in the air, heavy and unrelenting, as sukuna stood there, silent and unmoving. for a moment, you thought you saw something flicker across his face, something like regret or sadness, but it was gone before you could be sure. and then he turned, walking away without another word, leaving you alone in the space that had once been yours together, now shattered and broken beyond repair.

sukuna clenched his jaw, his footsteps heavy as he walked away, the weight of your words clinging to him like an invisible chain. they echoed in his mind, taunting him with a cruel persistence—your curse, your wish for his endless dissatisfaction, for his perpetual hunger, struck him deeper than any physical blow ever could.

his hand rested on the doorknob, but he paused, his back turned to you, your sobs reverberating in the quiet space, each cry a sharp thrust to his chest. he longed to turn, to look upon your face, but he could not summon the will to face you again.

the following day, you found yourself standing outside his apartment, your heart heavy with the weight of everything that had unfolded. you didn’t want to be there—didn’t want to confront the aching void that seemed to consume you whenever you thought of him. you didn’t want to feel the raw sting in your chest deepen, yet you knew you had no choice. there were fragments of your life, scattered among the remnants of your shared past, and though you longed to leave them behind, you could not bring yourself to walk away entirely without reclaiming what was left.

your fingers hovered above the keypad, hesitant, the numbers embedded in your memory like scars. you pressed the code, half-expecting the door to reject you, to lock you out for good, sealing the end of everything. but it didn’t. the lock clicked open, as it always had.

for a fleeting moment, a thought brushed against your consciousness, a whisper of something you wished you could ignore. perhaps he had left it unlocked on purpose. perhaps, deep within him, he wanted you to return, hoped you might come back. but you dismissed the thought quickly. no. that was not him. not anymore.

you pushed the door open, and for a brief instant, the silence greeted you like an old, dissonant friend. the air was thick with the memories of laughter, arguments, love—each corner of the room steeped in the ghosts of your time together. everything was exactly as it had been, as if nothing had changed, the furniture, the faint scent of him still lingering in the stillness. it was a cruel trick, how the space could feel so familiar, yet so estranged at once.

then, a sound—soft at first, but unmistakable. moans, sighs, the low grunts of a voice you knew all too well, mingling with the sound of another. a woman’s voice. your breath caught, and in that moment, it was as though the ground had fallen away from beneath you. you didn’t need to see to know. the sounds painted a clear picture, a cruel and bitter one.

a hollow laugh rose from the depths of your chest, though it never made it past your lips. of course. of course he couldn’t wait. couldn’t even allow the ashes of what you had to settle before diving into someone else’s embrace. the realization struck you like a knife, sharp and unrelenting, twisting deeper as it sank in.

your feet felt frozen to the floor, as if the weight of the moment held you captive. the world spun around you, but you remained frozen in place. the pain was acute, raw, consuming. it wasn’t just the betrayal—it was the confirmation of what you had already known, but refused to acknowledge. sukuna was exactly who he had claimed to be, and you, in your foolishness, had convinced yourself you were the exception.

you swallowed, the burn of your throat making it difficult to breathe, the ache in your chest threatening to overwhelm you. your hands trembled as you stepped back, the door still ajar behind you, its silent invitation to leave hanging in the air.

you didn’t hesitate. you turned, your legs carrying you away from him with a sense of urgency, as though staying even a moment longer would suffocate you. the rest of your things, the remnants of a life you once shared, no longer mattered. you couldn’t bear to be in that space, couldn’t bear the thought of his voice—so familiar, so intimate—intertwined with hers. the love you had once shared, now belonging to someone else.

the door clicked shut behind you, and for a moment, the sound felt like the finality of a chapter ending. but it was not clean. it was not easy. the pain still clung to you, wrapping itself around your ribs, squeezing until each breath became a struggle.

as you walked away, your thoughts churned. it wasn’t fair. he was fine, wasn’t he? perfectly fine, moving on, living his life, while you carried the weight of this broken love. it felt as though you shared matching wounds—his had already healed, smooth and unblemished, as though it had never been. but yours… yours were still raw, still bleeding, black and bruised.

yet, you kept walking. one step after another, carrying yourself away from him, from the life you had once built together. it hurt more than you had thought possible, but beneath the pain, there was a quiet resolve. because this time, you were not just leaving the apartment. you were leaving him.

the sakura trees lined the streets like guardians of fleeting beauty, their delicate pink petals drifting down with the breeze, blanketing the ground in a quiet surrender. each petal lay still, crushed underfoot without complaint, their sacrifice unnoticed by the hurried world above. sukuna walked briskly through the scene, his long strides carrying him across the familiar paths of the park, his destination clear: the ice cream parlor.

his presence was as sharp and cold as ever, his crimson eyes glancing briefly at the cheerful chaos of the park. laughter and joy filled the air—children racing each other across the grass, couples walking hand in hand, families gathered beneath the blooming trees. it was all so ordinary, so unremarkable, and yet it gnawed at him.

the park hadn’t changed. not a single thing had shifted in all these years. the bench where you both used to sit still stood beneath the shade of a sprawling sakura tree. the open field where you used to spread out the red-and-white checkered blanket you’d picked out still invited picnics. he could almost see it—him sprawled on his back, you lying against him, your head on his stomach. the warmth of those quiet afternoons came rushing back, unbidden.

you had a way of making silence comfortable, he remembered. sometimes the two of you would just lay there, lost in your own thoughts, his fingers absently twirling a strand of your hair. other times, the quiet would give way to playful arguments, your voices rising in mock irritation before collapsing into laughter. this park was a haven for you both—a place where the weight of the world couldn’t quite reach.

but now? now it was just a park.

sukuna stepped into the ice cream parlor, his voice cool and detached as he ordered. “two ice creams.” he didn’t bother glancing at the menu. his eyes were elsewhere, scanning the park with a hunter’s precision, though he wasn’t sure what he was looking for. he was about to turn away when something—no, someone—caught his attention. his sharp eyes narrowed, his breath hitching ever so slightly.

pink hair. a bright smile.

his twin. yuuji.

sukuna’s brows lifted in faint amusement, his lips curving into a smirk. what’s that idiot doing here? he wondered, already imagining some clumsy attempt at flirting. his eyes followed yuuji, watching his every move with a predator’s patience. but then yuuji turned slightly, revealing the person beside him.

and sukuna’s world shifted.

it was you.

the air seemed to still around him, his smirk falling as if the weight of the moment had stolen it away. the color drained from his face, and for the first time in years, he felt truly unmoored. it was as if the ground beneath him had crumbled, leaving him suspended in disbelief.

you hadn’t changed. not in the ways that mattered. the curve of your back, the way you carried yourself, the softness in your expression—it all came rushing back to him, a flood of memories he hadn’t asked for.

he took a step forward, then another, each one slow and deliberate as if testing the solidity of the earth beneath his feet. but then he saw it—yuuji’s arm around you, the way his lips pressed to your cheek, the way you smiled up at him.

the world tilted further.

just as he was about to take another step, his eyes caught movement by the swings. a child—a boy, no more than a few years old. his pink hair shone in the sunlight, his laughter ringing out like a melody sukuna hadn’t realized he missed.

then the boy called you “mommy”, his voice bright and pure, as if it carried no shadows.

sukuna froze. his breath caught in his throat, his chest tightening as his mind raced. his gaze darted between you, the child, and yuuji, piecing together a puzzle he didn’t want to solve.

was he…? no. impossible.

the boy’s face was round, soft, bright—none of the sharp edges sukuna saw when he looked in the mirror. there was no darkness in his eyes, no coldness. just light.

“what the fuck?” sukuna muttered under his breath, his voice barely audible over the pounding of his own heartbeat. you and yuuji both turned at the sound, your eyes locking with his for the first time in years.

and in that moment, everything—the sakura trees, the children’s laughter, the warmth of the spring sun—seemed to fade away. it was just you and him, standing on opposite sides of a chasm neither of you knew how to cross.

you sat side by side on the bench, close enough that the sakura petals falling around you landed in your hair, yet the distance between you felt infinite, an ocean of memories and regret stretching wide. your hands trembled, curling into fists on the fabric of your dress as if the pressure could hold your emotions in place. you didn’t look at him. maybe it was the pain, still raw and deep despite the years. or maybe it was because you had moved on, and seeing him no longer filled the hollow space inside you.

no, you didn’t starve for him anymore.

he sat rigid, his long limbs folded in a posture too controlled to be casual. his crimson eyes, those piercing eyes that once held you captive, were now fixed on the child playing in the distance. the boy laughed brightly, running to yuuji, who scooped him up with ease, their matching smiles lighting up the park.

sukuna’s chest ached, the unfamiliar weight of it catching him off guard. he didn’t expect this—didn’t expect to feel anything. but watching the boy—your boy—he felt something sharp, something he couldn’t name.

regret?

his gaze lingered, tracing every familiar feature: the pink hair catching the sunlight, the laugh that rang like a melody, the wide, innocent eyes. it was all so achingly familiar, yet so far removed from him. and the way yuuji looked at the boy, the ease in their interactions, the warmth of their bond—he has everything, sukuna thought bitterly.

and yet, somewhere deep down, a selfish part of him wished it was his. his throat tightened, the unspoken words clawing at him. he didn’t know what to say, didn’t even know why he had stopped here, why he hadn’t turned away the moment he saw you. but instead, he let out a breath, low and shaky, before speaking.

“how are you?” his voice was softer than he intended, a hesitant tremor running through the words. you stiffened, your fingers clenching tighter on your lap. for a moment, you didn’t respond, the silence stretching unbearably between you.

sukuna’s jaw tightened, his gaze dropping to the ground. you’re fucking lame, he cursed himself, the words echoing in his mind. of all the things he could have said, this was what came out? after everything he had done, after all the time that had passed, the best he could manage was a shallow pleasantry?

he felt your exhale, slow and measured, before you finally answered, your voice quiet but steady.

“i’m fine.”

the words were simple, but the weight behind them was heavy. they carried years of hurt, of healing, of learning to exist without him. you didn’t look at him as you spoke, your gaze fixed firmly on the boy in the distance, on the life you had built without him.

sukuna felt your words pierce him like a blade, deep and cruel. fine. just fine. nothing more, nothing less. after everything, after all the destruction, all the chaos he had unleashed upon you—this was all you could say. ‘fine.’ it was a slap to his face, a reminder of everything he had lost, and the bitter weight of it suffocated him.

his throat tightened. he didn’t know what he had expected from you, what he had hoped to hear after all this time, but ‘fine’—that word felt like a finality, an impenetrable wall of cold distance. the silence that followed stretched between you, suffocating and heavy. his gaze flickered to you, lingering on your face, yet seeing you as if for the first time. the years had marked you, yes, but the angles of your face, the way your eyes held a spark of something that was undeniably you—everything about you felt the same, and yet it was so utterly alien to him. his fingers clenched at his side, the muscles taut with the desire to reach out, to touch, to trace the lines of your face as he had done before. but he could not. there was too much hurt between you, too many wounds that he had carved deep into your soul.

the silence became unbearable. sukuna was a man of words—of sharpness, of mockery, of heated arguments. but here, beside you on this park bench, he was mute. there were no biting remarks, no cruel barbs. just an oppressive quiet, a world of things unsaid.

his gaze drifted to the child, laughing in the distance, as yuuji chased him with exaggerated panic. a part of sukuna's chest tightened painfully, and his words came out fractured, thinner than he had meant them to be, choked by something he couldn’t hide.

“kid, huh?” he said, the words thick with a bitterness that didn’t come from the sarcasm he had intended. “and yuuji’s?” they were meant to cut, to wound. but they fell flat, weak, crushed by the vulnerability he had tried so hard to bury. his voice cracked under the weight of something he couldn’t name, a storm of emotions tangled within him.

you turned to him, lips parting as if to respond, but the moment was stolen by the sound of small, hurried footsteps. your son came stumbling toward you, his legs unsteady with joy. his laughter, pure and untainted, filled the air, and for a moment, the world seemed to stop. his eyes, shining with uncontainable happiness, locked onto you, and he collided with your legs, wrapping his tiny arms around you in a clumsy hug.

you chuckled softly, steadying him with gentle hands, your voice a whisper of tenderness as you murmured, “careful there.”

he grinned up at you, his little face lighting up with something he had to tell you. but then his gaze shifted, and he looked at sukuna, studying him with an intensity that seemed too thoughtful for someone so young. the child’s eyes widened. he blinked, his brows furrowing in a silent question. and then, for the briefest of moments, his gaze met sukuna’s—eyes of crimson red.

the same red that stared back at sukuna in the mirror every morning, that had stained his soul, that marked him in ways he could never escape. the breath left his lungs in a harsh, silent gasp. his body froze, a shiver running through him. it wasn’t possible. it couldn’t be. but there it was, undeniable and raw.

the boy blinked, confused, still staring at sukuna, but before he could speak, yuuji was there, scooping him up effortlessly, lifting him onto his back. “gotcha, kiddo,” yuuji said, his grin wide as he carried the child away toward the playground, the laughter spilling from the boy in a carefree squeal.

but sukuna remained frozen, his eyes wide in disbelief, his chest tight with something he couldn’t identify—something heavy, something ancient, something that churned and shifted deep within him.

you didn’t meet his gaze. your eyes remained trained on the ground, as though avoiding his stare could keep the truth from surfacing. “those eyes…” sukuna murmured, his voice barely a whisper, the words trembling as they left his lips. “those eyes are…” his breath caught, his chest tightening further as the truth settled around him like a cold fog.

he knew those eyes. he would know them anywhere. they were his.

your voice broke through the thick silence, soft yet heavy with the weight of what you were about to say. “i found out i was pregnant a month after… that day.” the words hung in the air between you like a thread ready to snap. you finally looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time since he had appeared in the park. the wind carried the faint scent of sakura, making your hair sway gently. strands danced across your face, brushing your cheeks, which had turned a delicate pink from the cool breeze. your eyes met his, unflinching yet filled with a raw vulnerability that made his chest ache.

sukuna froze, his crimson gaze locked onto yours. he couldn’t look away, even if he wanted to. this moment, this version of you—standing against the backdrop of falling petals, the soft pink tint to your skin, the weight of years etched into your expression—it was something he would never forget.

he had always been good at reading people, at seeing through their masks, but with you, it was different. even now, as you stood before him, there were layers he couldn’t unravel, emotions he couldn’t pin down. all he knew was the sudden tightness in his chest, the guilt clawing its way up his throat, and the realization that no matter how much time had passed, you still held a piece of him that he couldn’t reclaim.

“and you didn’t tell me,” he said finally, his voice quieter than he intended. there was no malice, no sharp edge—just a quiet bewilderment, a pain he didn’t know how to mask. your gaze didn’t waver, but your lips pressed into a thin line as if holding back a flood of words. “what would it have changed?” you asked, the question soft yet pointed. “you told me to leave. to be gone. i just… listened.”

those words hit him harder than any curse ever had. he wanted to argue, to demand why you hadn’t fought back, but deep down, he knew. he had made you feel like you had no choice. he had driven you away, and now, years later, he was standing in front of you, realizing the depth of the consequences he hadn’t dared to imagine.

his gaze flickered to the playground, where your son—his son—was laughing with yuuji. sukuna’s hands clenched at his sides as he turned back to you, searching for the right words and finding none.

“he’s mine, isn’t he?” he asked, though the answer was already written all over the boy’s face. you nodded, the smallest of movements, but it was enough to shatter the fragile barrier he had been holding up. “why didn’t you—” he stopped himself, exhaling sharply. “why didn’t you tell me back then?”

“because you didn’t want me,” you said simply, your voice steady though your eyes glistened. “and if you didn’t want me, why would you want him?” the wind carried your words away, but they left a hollow ache in sukuna’s chest.

sukuna’s heart pounded against his ribs, the sound deafening in the silence that followed. how could he explain what was going on in his head, when he wasn’t even sure himself? all he knew was that finding out he was a father, suddenly, out of nowhere, was throwing his whole world off-kilter, turning his reality on its head. and the fact that you hadn’t told him, kept his own flesh and blood away from him—it was infuriating and yet, in a twisted way, made sense.

sukuna was silent, the park suddenly feeling too crowded, too noisy, yet incredibly empty all at once. his heart pounded in his chest like a drum, each beat a reminder of how much time he had lost, how much he had missed. he swallowed, the lump in his throat thicker than he had anticipated. he had been ready for a lot of reactions from you—anger, perhaps even indifference. but seeing you so calm, so unbothered, stung more than he ever thought it would.

sukuna’s eyes never left yours, studying your face, the small tics and twitches that spoke volumes. but behind the veneer of calm, there was something different—an undercurrent he couldn’t quite place. he could feel it, sense it in the air between you, in the tension that had settled in your shoulders.

“all those years,” he began, his voice a low rumble. “i had a son, and i never knew.” his eyes flicked back to the playground, where yuuji was now pushing the boy on a swing. the kid was laughing again, his little legs kicking up dust with each push forward.

sukuna watched him for a moment, taking in every detail. his hair, the same shade as his own. his eyes, those wide, innocent crimson pools that mirrored his own. the sound of his laughter, a sound he’d never heard before but recognized as his all the same. you smiled softly, your gaze drifting to your son as he soared higher on the swing, his laughter cutting through the hum of the park like music. for a moment, your expression softened in a way that made sukuna’s chest ache, a bittersweet mix of warmth and loss. when your eyes returned to him, they held no resentment, no anger—only a calm acceptance that he wasn’t sure he deserved.

“he’ll be four this december,” you said quietly, the corners of your lips lifting just slightly. “yuuji and i are planning a party for him. something simple, with his friends from kindergarten.”

your voice was steady, each word so matter-of-fact that it twisted like a knife in his gut. sukuna studied your face, searching for something—anything—that hinted at lingering bitterness or regret. but there was nothing. you looked… content. beautiful in a way that felt distant, like a piece of art behind glass.

his eyes flicked back to the playground. the boy—his son—was shouting something to yuuji, his tiny hands gripping the swing’s chains as he kicked his legs. the sight made sukuna’s throat tighten. he had missed so much. “kindergarten,” he murmured, almost to himself, the word foreign on his tongue. “he’s already in kindergarten.”

you nodded, your hands folding neatly in your lap. “he loves it there. he’s made so many friends. and the teachers… they always tell me how bright he is, how full of life.” sukuna could only watch, listening to your words as you spoke about your son. a part of him was proud—proud that his son inherited his own intelligence, his own vitality. but most of him was just lost, drowning in a sea of emotions he couldn’t fully comprehend.

he had missed all of it. the first words, the first steps, the first laugh—all because he had been so stupid, so blind to what was right in front of him. his hands clenching into fists. he didn’t want to hear about how the kid was thriving in kindergarten. how he had friends. how he was happy without him.

yet he could hear the pride in your voice, the undeniable love and adoration you had for your son. it was clear in the way your eyes sparkled when you spoke of him, the protective, motherly instinct that emanated from you like a force field. it was so foreign, yet undeniably human. “he never... asked about his father?” he asked, the question slipping out before he could stop himself.

you shook your head, your expression calm, yet tinged with a bittersweet sadness that sukuna couldn’t quite place. “no,” you said softly, your eyes drifting back to the playground where your son was now tumbling in the grass with laughter, yuuji playfully chasing after him. “he’s never asked. maybe it’s because he sees how much he and yuuji look alike… the hair, the face. he doesn’t question it.”

your voice was steady, but there was an undertone that lingered, a quiet weight beneath your words. sukuna stared at you, his crimson eyes narrowing as his mind reeled. of course, the kid wouldn’t question it—not when yuuji was always there, stepping in, filling the void sukuna hadn’t even realized he had left behind.

his hands twitched at his sides, his jaw tightening. “so that’s it?” he asked, his voice low, almost a growl. “he just assumes yuuji is his father?”

you looked back at him then, your gaze unwavering. “he doesn’t assume anything, sukuna. he’s just a kid. he doesn’t need the weight of complicated answers right now.”

the words hit harder than he expected, the implication slicing through him. you were protecting him—shielding him from the chaos sukuna’s presence could bring. and deep down, he couldn’t blame you.

but it still burned.

sukuna swallowed, the lump in his throat feeling like sandpaper. the fact that his own son didn't even know who he was, the fact that yuuji was taking over the role he should have had… all of it stung like a thousand knives.

he didn’t know what to say. didn’t know how to process the emotions swirling inside him. he could feel a storm brewing within, but for once, he didn't want to unleash it. not on you, not in the middle of the park where his son—his son—was playing gleefully.

sukuna’s jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing as he watched his son’s joyful antics. the kid was climbing on a jungle gym now, his small hands grasping the metal bars with determination. yuuji stood below, ready to catch him if he fell, a small smile on his face.

the sight should have been endearing—the carefree boy playing with his surrogate father. but all sukuna felt was a bitter mixture of anger, regret, and envy. he should be the one standing there, spotting his son, ready to catch him if he fell.

sukuna’s fists clenched at his sides, the desire to march over and rip yuuji away from his child overpowering. but he held himself back, a bitter taste in his mouth. that wasn't his place, not anymore. he had made sure of that. instead, he turned to you, his eyes locking with yours. “how can you just sit there?” he spat, his voice low and laced with anger. “how can you let yuuji play father to my own son?”

you held his gaze, unruffled by the sharpness in his words, your expression calm yet firm. you had always known how to stand your ground with sukuna, how to weather the storm of his anger without losing yourself. “and what would be the point?” you replied steadily, your voice soft yet unyielding. “to stir up confusion? to fill his head with questions he’s too young to understand? he’s happy, sukuna. he’s safe. isn’t that what matters most?”

your words were deliberate, cutting through his anger with a quiet precision. sukuna’s jaw tightened, his crimson eyes flickering with a mix of emotions—rage, guilt, and something far more vulnerable. “he’s my son,” he bit out, his voice low, almost trembling. “he should know who i am.”

“and he will,” you answered, your tone unwavering. “when the time is right. when he’s old enough to understand what it means. i’m not keeping him from you, sukuna. i’m protecting him—from the pain, the confusion, the chaos. i’m protecting him the way a parent should.”

your words hung in the air, heavy with meaning, and sukuna found himself at a loss for a reply. he wanted to argue, to fight back, but deep down, he knew you were right. it didn’t make the bitterness in his chest any easier to swallow, but it made him pause, his anger faltering.

you glanced back at the playground, your gaze softening as you watched your son laugh, his small body swinging from the jungle gym with unrestrained joy. “he’s all that matters now,” you added quietly, more to yourself than to him. “and i won’t let anything—or anyone—take that away from him.”

sukuna remained silent, the weight of your words settling over him like a heavy blanket. for the first time, he truly saw the depth of your love for your son, the lengths you would go to keep him safe. and it left him reeling, his emotions a tangled mess he couldn’t begin to unravel.

sukuna swallowed, the lump in his throat feeling like a stone. all the anger, the rage that had been brewing inside of him—it all evaporated in an instant, replaced by a bitter sense of realization.

you were right. as much as he hated to admit it, your words were true. you weren’t keeping his son from him. you were protecting him, shielding him from the chaos that sukuna’s presence could bring. the kid was happy, thriving, blissfully unaware of thecomplicated web of emotions surrounding his existence.

he gazed at you, truly seeing you for the first time in years, and in that moment, he recognized something in you he had never expected to find: the quiet strength in your eyes, the resolute determination etched into the curve of your shoulders. you had changed, morphed into something he couldn’t fully comprehend. you were no longer just the person he once knew—you were a mother now, shaped by a fierce love that had carved new paths in your soul. there was a wildness in you now, a power, a willingness to move mountains to protect the child you had brought into this world. and in some dark, twisted corner of his being, it made him love you more than he ever had before.

“i…” he began, the words choking in his throat, as if the very sound of them was foreign to him. he faltered, unsure, because nothing he could say could ever match the storm inside of him, the chaos that had long since swallowed him whole. he had no words for the depth of the feelings that tore at him, no way to untangle the mess of love, regret, and longing that knotted in his chest.

you offered him a smile, and for an instant, it was the same smile he had once known, so long ago—genuine, warm, and familiar. it was like the briefest glimpse of light breaking through the oppressive clouds that had settled over both of you, soft and fleeting, yet undeniable.

“i’m sorry,” you spoke, your voice unexpectedly tender, carrying a weight that caught him off guard. “for the things i said that day. wishing you everything in life but never being satisfied—it was cruel. it’s the worst thing i could ever wish on anyone. i wouldn’t want anyone to curse me like that, so i shouldn’t have done it to you.”

your gaze held his then, steady and unwavering, but gone was the venom and resentment that had once filled it. now, there was only warmth, a soft tenderness he had long forgotten. “i just… i just want you to have the life you deserve,” you added, your voice unwavering, as if the words were not born of this moment, but of something far deeper, something more enduring.

he opened his mouth, the words dancing on the tip of his tongue, but they faltered, suffocated by a weight he couldn’t name. for once, sukuna—the man who had always prided himself on his sharp tongue, his biting words—was rendered speechless.

before he could collect himself, you rose, brushing the coat from your shoulders as you called for yuuji. he turned at the sound of your voice, his eyes catching yours, and with a silent understanding, he scooped up your son and began walking toward you.

your son’s delighted giggles filled the air, his tiny arms wrapped around yuuji’s neck in pure joy. when they reached you, you glanced back at sukuna for the briefest of moments, your eyes meeting his. but there was no anger, no regret. only something unspoken, something that neither of you could articulate.

the image of you, with yuuji and the child in tow—so perfectly entwined, so whole—was a blade lodged deep in sukuna’s chest. he wanted to rise, to speak, to confront the weight of this impossible truth, but his body remained frozen, bound by the gravity of what had not been said.

you did not look back. without a word, you turned away, your son’s laughter echoing through the cold, empty air as yuuji carried him toward the car. sukuna could only watch, his gaze locked on the fading figures, as you disappeared down the path. and in that moment, he was utterly alone, left to drown in the silence he had created, swallowed whole by the dimming light of the day.

sukuna remained frozen, his crimson eyes fixed on the space where you had just stood, the weight of the silence settling over him like a crushing blanket. the world seemed to shrink around him, the laughter of the child, the warmth of the moment fading into a hollow echo that only deepened the emptiness inside him. the weight of his own solitude was unbearable, a crushing, gnawing feeling that clung to his bones and choked the very air from his lungs.

it was a solitude he had always known, yet never truly felt—until now. it was as if the universe had conspired to bring him to this very moment, to this precipice, and now that he stood at the edge, he realized how terribly alone he truly was.

his heart, which he had long since buried beneath layers of indifference, thudded painfully in his chest, each beat like a slow, agonizing reminder of his own failures, his own incomprehensible loneliness. he had spent years in a fortress of his own making, convinced that he could bear the isolation, that he could find solace in his own darkness. but now, as the light of your departure seemed to wash over him, he realized how false that belief had been.

it was as though the very ground beneath him had crumbled, leaving him suspended in a void that threatened to consume him. the void was cold, oppressive, and suffocating. he opened his mouth to speak, to call out, to demand something, anything—but no words came. they were swallowed by the silence, absorbed into the air that was thick with the weight of what had been lost.

he wanted to scream, to tear at the sky, to shatter the world around him until there was nothing left but the raw, bleeding truth of his own desolation. but he remained still, paralyzed by the overwhelming realization of how utterly empty his life had become without you.

the laughter of the child, now distant, reverberated in his ears like the sound of mocking, bitter fate. how had it come to this? how had he, who had once held so much power, so much control, been reduced to this broken thing, left behind in the fading light of a world that no longer included him?

his chest tightened with a suffocating ache, his hands curling into fists, nails digging into his palms, as though the pain might anchor him to something, anything, other than the suffocating void that stretched before him. yet, nothing could fill the emptiness, nothing could undo the damage he had done to himself, to you, to everything he had ever touched.

he had been a fool. a fool to believe that time would erase the wounds, that power would shield him from the consequences of his own choices. but now, with nothing left but the hollow echo of his own regret, he understood—the price had been far higher than he could ever have imagined.

and as you disappeared from his sight, so did the last vestiges of hope, the last thread that had held him to any semblance of meaning. he was alone. utterly alone. and the weight of that truth felt like an insurmountable mountain pressing down on his chest, each breath a labor, each moment a torment.

in that unbearable silence, he felt it: the deep, gnawing ache of his own heart, the loneliness that had been there all along, waiting for this moment to unravel him.

[hanniebaeee]

All I want for Christmas

Chris Bang x fem!reader

Warnings: some tears and making out

Genre: almost exes to lovers, angst, fluff

Summary: You and Chris are on the verge of a break up, but then, it's Christmas. And there's some magic in the air.

a/n: Merry Christmas everyone 💕 Love you all, and I can't thank you guys enough for all the love and support. Lots of love and wishes for the New year from me✨

The freezing December air bit at your cheeks as you stepped onto the rooftop of your apartment building. One of your neighbors, Jimin, handed you a cup of mulled wine, and you accepted with a smile. Your fingers wrapped tightly around the mug tightly, your eyes taking in the sight around you. 

The party was in full swing - warm fairy lights strung across the rooftop, some of older women decorating gingerbread men. A beautiful Christmas tree gleamed in the center, but none of it reached you.

Your eyes darted around the crowd, searching for just one face. 

Chris.

Your chest ached at the thought of him. It had been weeks since you last spoke. Since that disastrous fight. You'd both said things you didn't mean. It was just a poor way of shielding your own hearts from being hurt.

You loved him. God, you loved him. But sometimes love wasn’t enough. Or maybe…it was just too much.

You sighed and sipped your drink, leaning against the railing, letting the city lights blur your thoughts. And then, you felt it before you saw him. That quiet pull.

There he was.

Chris stood at the far end of the rooftop, near the makeshift stage, surrounded by kids. 

He looked good. Too good. In that beautiful grey coat and pants, and that crisp white shirt that you loved so much on him. But his eyes - they were rimmed with dark circles, hollow in a way that absolutely shattered your heart.

You turned away, your breath hitching. How was it possible to miss him this much, when he's standing right there in front of you?

“Alright, alright, gather ‘round!” someone announced, pulling your attention to the stage.

The kids had taken seats on the front row, giggling with excitement. And then, Chris stepped forward to the mic, with a guitar in hand. And his eyes met yours, and your heart stopped.

“Settle down, settle down,” he told the kids, with a gentle smile on his face, his voice a little rough around the edges.

And then his eyes met yours once again, as he started to sing. 

Silent night, holy night…

The world faded. His voice was like warm honey, dripping with emotion, so achingly tender, like he was pouring every ounce of himself into the song. You stood frozen, his voice wrapping around your chest, squeezing tight until tears pricked your eyes.

Towards the end of the song, you couldn’t take it anymore. Blinking rapidly, you slipped away, setting your mug down on a nearby table and heading for the stairwell.

You didn’t make it far.

Sinking onto the cold steps, you buried your head in your hands, shoulders trembling as sobs wracked your body.

“Y/N.”

The voice was breathless, and you looked up to see him standing there, his chest rising and falling like he’d run after you. His cheeks were flushed from the cold, and his eyes, wide, desperate.

“Chris, I…”

He didn’t let you finish. He sat on the step near you, his hands cupping your face as he leaned in close, his forehead brushing yours.

“I can’t do this,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I can’t be without you. I know I screwed up, I know things are messy, but…please. Don’t let this be the end. I need you, baby.”

You swallowed hard, tears slipping down your cheeks. “Chris, it’s not that simple. We keep hurting each other.”

“I’ll fix it,” he said, his thumbs brushing away your tears. “Whatever it takes. I’ll fix it, because I love you more than anything. Please, just…don’t give up on us. Don't give up on me…”

The vulnerability in his voice shattered the last of your resolve. You surged forward, your lips crashing into his in a kiss, so desperate but sweet. 

He groaned against your mouth, his hands sliding down to your waist, pulling you into his lap as you straddled him on the narrow staircase.

The stairwell was quiet except for the sound of your ragged breathing and the faint hum of music drifting down from the rooftop. Chris’s hands roamed your back, pulling you as close as he could. Your lips moved together in a rhythm that was both frantic and tender, years of love and pent-up longing pouring into every kiss.

“God, I missed you,” Chris whispered against your mouth, his soft wet lips so warm. His thumbs brushed along your jawline. “Missed this. Missed you.”  

“I missed you too,” you admitted, your hands threading into his soft curls. “So much.”  

His lips found yours again, hungrier this time, and you melted into him, your fingers gripping the soft fabric of his shirt. He shifted slightly, leaning back against the wall and pulling you further into his lap. And the heat radiating from his body was enough to make your head spin.  

“Chris…” you murmured, breaking the kiss just enough to look at him. His eyes held a tenderness that made your chest tighten.

“I love you, baby,” he said and tears welled in your eyes again, but this time, they weren’t from sadness.

You pressed your lips to his and he hummed softly, his hands sliding down to your hips, and sliding under the hem of your sweater. His touch was warm, sending shivers down your spine.

His lips slipped down your neck, and you tilted your head to give him better access, your fingers tangling in his hair.

“Chris, anyone can just walk by,” you managed to say, your voice tinged with both amusement and desire. 

“And?” he teased, smiling as he nipped lightly at your collarbone.  

You let out a laugh that quickly turned into a sigh as his hands slid higher under your sweater, his thumbs brushing the sides of your ribs. His kisses grew rougher, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to make you squirm. 

“Okay,” you said breathlessly. “But if Mrs. Park from 3B catches us, I’m blaming you.”

Chris chuckled, his grin boyish and utterly irresistible.

“Fair. But I think she’d just tell us to get married already.” he said, and you stilled, searching his eyes. There was no teasing in his gaze now, just pure love.  

“Too soon?” he asked softly.

“No,” you whispered, leaning into his touch. “Not at all.”

With a radiant smile, he kissed you again, slow and deep.

“Come back to me,” he whispered against your lips. “Move back in with me. Let’s fix this. Together.” 

Your heart swelled, and you nodded, tears spilling over. 

“Okay, Channie. Let’s try again.”

Tags: @moonchild9350 @velvetmoonlght @eastjonowhere

Dividers: @strangergraphics

[mysteria157]

Pairing: Higuruma Hiromi x Reader (Vicky)

Rating/CW: fluff, smut, explicit sexual content, vaginal sex, oral sex, holiday romance, MDNI!

WC: ~5.2K

Summary: A holiday tale of three Christmases with your neighbor Higuruma.

a/n: As part of the Secret Santa Fic Exchange hosted by @nanamiscocksleeve, I wrote this for my secret santa @sassypossum. This is my first Hiromi fic, so I hope you enjoy!

Divider: @arminsumi @mikeykuns

The first time wasn’t planned.

Most people fill their December evenings with bright parties that have too much alcohol and shopping bags, with wrapped presents and spiked eggnog. But not for you. This Christmas night, you find yourself climbing to the roof of your apartment building, a thermos of hot chocolate warming your hands.

The day hadn’t started great—an alarm that never went off, a train ride that was twenty minutes late, and your favorite tea that you’d spent money you would rather not think about had arrived in a package soaked to the bone, destroying the precious herbs inside. Just being in the walls of your own home wasn’t enough.

So now here you are. The city sprawls before you, and blocks of flickering concrete, reminiscent of your Christmas lights before they blew out from a fuse you still can’t find.

You don’t expect to find him there.

Not too tall, standing at the edge of the roof with his back turned. A suit as black as night and wrinkled along the hem, swept back hair fluttering faintly in the chilly breeze. His shoulders rise just slightly and then relax, a plume of smoke curling into the air. You’d seen him around the building enough to know his name—his habits. 

Higuruma Hiromi, a man who consists of late hours fighting endless battles most would consider already lost, exhaustion always clinging to him like a second skin but always sharing a gentle smile when you both brushed past each other in the hallway.

You’d seen him around but barely had the confidence to actually have a conversation. There was something about him that always made you stop short, to open your mouth and then close it again in fear of humiliating yourself just by asking him out for coffee.

“Mind sharing that rail?” you called out, watching him startle slightly before craning his head over his shoulder to look at your approaching form. His small pupils, a deep chocolate brown, focused on you with an intensity you couldn’t quite place, then flickering to the thermos.

“It’s public space,” he resigned but shifted slightly to make room for you. The metal railing was cold against your thin pajama pants as you settled beside him, close enough to smell the tobacco and what might have been a hint of coffee on his breath.

“Rough case?” you asked softly after a few quiet moments, your eyes on the Tokyo skyline as you offered him your thermos. 

Higuruma’s tired eyes look from you and down to the thermos in your hands, hesitation flashing over his features before he pops the cigarette in his mouth and uncaps the lid. “Hot chocolate?” The surprise in his voice is enough to make you smile despite his evasiveness.

“With candy canes,” you add. “Christmas tradition.”

His quiet laugh catches you off guard—a warm and low hitching in the back of his throat that sounds misplaced, as if rusty and remembering how to work. “God, I don’t think I’ve had hot chocolate since…“ he trails off, eyes jumping from building to building in order to remember before giving up.

He pulls a heavy drag instead, turning his head away to exhale the thick gray smoke and take a sip of your drink. The city hums with holiday energy, lights brighter than usual, cars honking louder and longer than necessary.

“I usually work through the holidays,” he says finally, cigarette already half gone. The confession hangs in the air between you, heavy with years of solitary Christmases. Of declining parties and get-togethers and finding company in himself and the bed he collapses into after a long day. 

You don’t know what makes you say it. The serenity in the air. The subtle jumping of your heart when you watch his lips purse and the embers of the butt illuminate the curve of his nose. 

“Well, now you have company this year,” you reply gently, trying to ignore the feel of his fingertips brushing yours when it’s your turn to collect the hot chocolate.

He hums noncommittally; gaze turned back to the city long enough for you to study him. He’s a handsome man with lean features and a strong sense of justice that makes your heart flutter in ways you don’t understand. 

You drink the last of the hot chocolate—the peppermint of the candy cane forming a syrupy concoction at the very bottom that slides along your tongue—but you don’t leave. You stay with him until his cigarette is ash, until the bottom of your thermos is dry, until the December air has painted both your cheeks pink. 

The next day, you don’t speak when you pass in the elevator, but something’s changed—like the first note of a song neither of you knows you are waiting to hear.

Time flies when you become aware of things, and a year passes like seasons through a window. There are glimpses of each other in the elevator, shared cigarette breaks that become a habit, the way you learn to read his different types of tired. Just like that, winter finds you again, this time in the lobby of your apartment building. A convenience store bag is clutched in your hands, fingers shaking with the prospect of what you want to do, your eyes watching the numbers above the elevator tick down.

Maybe he’ll be there again. Resting on the railing, smoking a cigarette with his gaze on the city skyline. Maybe he’ll smile when he sees you, just like he did a week before when you both checked your mail at the same time—brushing shoulders, a joke passed back and forth, his lips breaking into a smile that lingered long after he was gone.

When the doors open, he’s there—suit jacket missing and sleeves rolled to show sinewy forearms. Those small pupils widen slightly at the sight of you, a year’s worth of rooftop conversations living in the space between you, unspoken but undeniably present.

“There you are,” he says casually, stuffing his hands in his pockets as you cross the threshold of the elevator and slink beside him. The words are simple, but they hang in the air, heavy with an implication that’s enough to still your heart.

The elevator doors slide closed slowly, casting you both in silence, and the subtle ‘ding’ of levels climbed. He turns, leaning one side of his body against the elevator wall, his full attention on you in that intense way you have learned by now is not apathy. 

It didn’t take very long to read him, to pick past the perpetual weary expression on his face to take in the ticks in his jaw, the furrow of his brow, the blinding smile he gives when he gets past that initial few minutes of shyness. That sense of conviction he has for his cases translates to everything else in different ways. And now, it’s on you, a look so intense with something warmer. Something sharper.

“Late night?” you ask, trying your best to cast the room into something else other than your nerves that seem to ooze out of your skin like tendrils. You squeeze the handle of your bag, the plastic rustling faintly in the quiet. His gaze flickers down to your hands, taking in the brand stamped on the bag.

“Always.” That weariness is softer now, worn smooth like a river on jagged stones from all the nights you’ve shared his silence. “I take it you have plans this year?” He nods to the bag in your hand.

You try not to think about the resignation in his voice. You clear your throat, opening the bag for him to peek inside. “If by plans you mean a Christmas cake? Then yes, I have plans.”

The elevator dings again, five stops away from your shared floor. He whistles long and low, pulling a snicker from your chest as he pulls out the cake and turns it in his hands to examine. “You sure you can finish this on your own?”

You scoff, feigning offense and snatching the cake away to shove back in your bag. “I’ll have you know that I have a very insatiable appetite.”

“Is that so?” he asks, dripping with so much suggestiveness that you’re convinced you’re just hearing things. The elevator doors slide open, but neither of you moves. His gaze catches yours, steady and unyielding, and suddenly, the air feels heavier, your chest tighter. 

“I have coffee,” he offers finally, his voice low, deliberate. The words carry so much more—an invitation, a continuation, a year of understanding distilled into a simple gesture. “If you would like company…for your plans.”

He smells like a hint of cigarettes and cologne that makes you lightheaded, but you pull in a deep breath to let the smell fill your lungs, willingly disorienting yourself.

“Sure,” you say gingerly, your voice catching slightly in your throat. He steps aside, holding the elevator door open for you, and you follow him down the hall.

His apartment is exactly as you imagined—case files neat on every surface, the quilted throw blanket on his couch that he had wrapped around you two days ago on the roof, that cheap coffee maker you’ve heard him defend countless times humming in the corner. But there are new details too—a mug you recognize from the combini downstairs, the one you mentioned liking a month ago. Artwork that looks like it came directly from a museum on every wall, adding a quiet sophistication to the otherwise practical space.

You can only take in so many details before he’s moving, kicking off his shoes and taking the bag from you as he walks to his open kitchen. “How about tea instead?” 

He opens one of the kitchen cabinets to display a plethora of neatly arranged glass jars filled with tea bags and loose-leaf blends. The sight surprises you, your breath hitching slightly as he quirks a smile. “You like tea.” And it leaves his mouth as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

You do. And the fact that he’s remembered this small detail leaves an electric warmth in your chest that you try not to let show. Instead of responding, you focus on unloading the cake from your bag, carefully peeling back the wrapper without smudging the icing.

Behind you, the quiet clink of jars being opened and spoons measuring tea and coffee into a pot fills the space. There’s a domesticity to it—the ease with which he moves around his kitchen, hovering and reaching around you without invading your space—feels almost surreal. It’s the kind of quiet moment you’ve imagined in fragments, alone in your apartment, in the early mornings when you’re mind is more imaginative than usual, during work meetings that you should be paying attention to. It’s something you’ve thought of, but never quite dared to believe could be real.

When he sets two mismatched mugs on the counter, a tea bag hanging from the one you mentioned, the steam curls between you both like an offering. You look up at him, your heart stumbling over itself at the softness in his gaze. The darkness beneath his eyes is still as intense as ever, but there’s an undercurrent of care painted over his skin that eases your worry.

For a moment, neither of you speaks, the quiet filled with the whir of the coffee maker as it cools down and the warmth of the tea between your palms. He cuts the cake evenly, sliding the entire treat between you both and presenting two forks of equal size.

The first bite of the cake is far too sweet, the tea doesn’t have the amount of honey that you prefer, but neither of you seems to mind. The world feels impossibly small—just this kitchen, just this quiet, just you and Higuruma.

He presses his forearms on the counter, leaning on his elbows and tilting his head to regard you. His dark hair flops over one side, wild and ruffling and itching for you to touch. His curved nose only enhances his features to create a devastating concoction of tired beauty.

“You really brought all this just for yourself?” he presses, voice soft but laced with that quiet amusement you’ve come to expect. There’s no judgment in it, just a curiosity—an invitation for honesty that he already knows if you’re brave enough to give it.

You shrug. “I imagined you had the expertise to solve this kind of question on your own.” 

Higuruma snorts, stabbing a corner of his side of the cake. “Uh-huh.”

“Don’t ‘uh-huh’ me,” you playfully hiss, pointing your icing-covered fork in his direction like an accusation.

He takes a slow sip of his coffee, unflinching despite the heat, his eyes locked on yours in a silent battle that you’re definitely losing. The cup clinks onto the counter, cutting through the silence.

“You like me.”

Several things happen at once. 

Internally, you’re panicking, heart picking up in speed, stomach coiling with nervous heat, mind screaming at you to abandon ship like a giggling school girl. 

Externally, you narrow your eyes, feigning indifference with all the composure you can muster. “Or, I just thought someone could use a little Christmas.”

If he believes you, you can’t tell. That level of apathy you can read has only taken you so far, and without the experience of working with him, there’s no way you can pick apart the mask of a lawyer who has the answer but doesn’t want to give it away.

But slowly, his brow lifts, something in his expression shifting—warmer, softer. “Someone?”

Your fingers tighten around your mug, the ceramic almost too hot to hold. You bring it to your mouth, stalling with a long sip as your chest tightens, and somehow manage a small shrug. “Yeah. Someone.”

He hums, contemplative, accepting even as he forks a piece of cake and presents it to you like a silent toast. “Well, if I were this someone—which clearly I’m not,” he drones, smirking at your rolling eyes, “then I would say thank you for bringing it to me. And Merry Christmas.”

The silence that follows isn’t empty. It’s full of something unspoken, something that hums in the space between you like an unsung melody. You hold your fork aloft, mirroring his gesture, and lightly tap the prongs against his.

“Merry Christmas, Hiromi.”

Outside, the city glows with the soft pulse of winter as Christmas draws to a close, but here, in the warmth of his kitchen, the world feels impossibly still. Just this quiet, just this moment, just you and him. 

Time moves differently again.

Too fast, yes, but now when you’re falling for someone in fragments—in elevator rides with your shoulders pressed together, in text conversations that stretch into dawn, in the way Higuruma’s tired eyes seem to hold more light when they find yours. Another year passes like this, in moments you collect like precious things.

Your apartment feels unusually warm, the faint scent of pine mingling with cinnamon from the candle flickering on the coffee table. Your Christmas tree stands in the corner, a decent height with artificial branches fluffed to their best shape, the entire ensemble still missing the final touch—the ornaments scattered on the table beside two mugs of tea.

You glance at the clock nervously, dusting imaginary lint off your sweater. He’s late, not by much, but enough for you to wonder if he’s had second thoughts. You know you shouldn’t entertain it. Higuruma is more than able to text you should anything come up. But still—

There’s a knock—firm and stead, unmistakably him and your heart drops to your stomach. He’s there, of course, when you open the door—suit jacket gone, dark hair messy from running his fingers through it, tie crooked and loose. His dark eyes meet yours, and the weight of them is both comforting and disarming.

“Please tell me you didn’t put it all together without me?”

You roll your eyes, letting him inside and silently swallowing the hint of tobacco that wafts from him. “Saved the best for last.”

It doesn’t take long for you both to fall into a rhythm. The ornaments vary—some old and sentimental, others newer and playful. He’s careful with each one, furrowing with that harsh concentration as he places each bauble on a branch that seems to hold significance. You both work efficiently, a hum of Christmas music filtering through the air, the warmth from the fireplace warming your toes. When you catch a glimpse of him on the other side of the tree, your mind wanders.

You know him better now. Know that he likes his coffee with two scoops of sugar (and a dash of cream when he thinks no one’s watching), how his voice sounds rough with exhaustion after long cases, how he hates when his hair touches the tips of his ears, how his usual detachment melts into something softer when it’s just you two. 

“Before you…I hadn’t had a Christmas tree since law school,” Higuruma muses wistfully.

You glance at him, admiring how the firelight softens the perpetual exhaustion in his features—the glow illuminates his face so you can trace his aquiline nose, the slight darkness beneath his eyes, the length of his dark eyelashes that blink slowly. 

“Not even those years you won bigger cases? Feels like that’s worthy of time off to enjoy the holidays.”

“Especially not then.” He picks up a small ornament, rolling the metal hook between his fingers. “Never seemed important enough to take the time.”

You busy yourself with pinching the flimsy metal hook of a larger ornament, trying to ignore the resignation you saw in his eyes often during those late nights when he opened up to you. Another victory only meant more time to take on another case, another person with the system automatically turned against them in need of his help. Even with the knowledge, there’s something that still twists in your stomach. Spending every Christmas like this—hunched over a desk, buried in work, alone.

You hold an ornament for him—a tiny racing car from your third year of life— wiggling it like a wad of cash before he rolls his eyes and snatches it playfully from your hands. The tree slowly begins to take shape, lopsided and shedding plastic pine needs, but still beautiful in its imperfection. As you both begin to hang the smaller ornaments one by one, you ask, 

“So…before you decided to take on the world, what kind of trees did you have growing up?”

Higuruma pauses, a faded blue bulb hanging from lightly tanned fingertips. For a moment, his gaze drifts, his already solemn expression dipping fractionally, and you wonder if you’ve pushed too far. But then he speaks, his voice softer than before.

“Real ones,” he mutters. “Tall ones that shed pine needles all over the floor and made the house smell like a forest.” He places the ornament on a branch near the top, bending the thin metal hook to secure it. “My mother used to insist on decorating it all herself, though. She had this thing about symmetry.” A small, nostalgic smile tugs at his lips. “I think I preferred watching her more than actually helping.”

You smile softly, picturing a younger Higuruma sitting cross-legged on the floor, hair probably shorter, eyes smooth around the edges and free of sleep deprivation, observing with quiet curiosity. “What about you?”

“Depends on the year,” you shrug, holding up a Spongebob ornament and inspecting its slightly chipped edge. “Some years, we had fake ones like this. Other years, my family would drag a real one home and spend the next six months vacuuming pine needles.”

His chuckle is low and warm, seeming to drift across the room, wrapping around the tree to warm your skin. For a moment, the air between you feels lighter, more familiar.

The tree glimmers by the time you’re done, a haphazard mix of ornaments and lights that somehow works. As he helps you pack up the empty boxes, Higuruma pulls something from the depths of one—a sprig of artificial mistletoe.

You freeze, hair standing on end as he holds it aloft, an eyebrow quirking in amusement. “Were you planning on using this?”

“Not intentionally,” you murmur, rushing to him and reaching to snatch it from his hands before he tilts it away and dangles it above your heads. The sight of where it is, the implication of what it means, makes your throat dry up quickly.

“Isn’t it a tradition?

“It’s cheesy,” you try to reach for it again and sigh when he raises it higher. “And for someone who hardly pays attention to the holidays, why do you suddenly want to follow tradition now?”

Higuruma grins, and the look of it, the way it makes him seem so much younger and filled with mischief, only makes heat spring to life in your belly. Unwarranted and quickly flaming out of control.

“Because for the past three years, you’ve made sure I follow at least some kind of tradition. You want to try this one too?”

You open your mouth to retort, to tell him that you don’t want to kiss him, and spend the next few nights crying because he doesn’t feel the same way. You don’t want to finally put yourself out there and then be so miserably crushed that you’ll probably find a way to break your lease.

But the words dissolve on your tongue when his free hand cups your jaw, his touch warm and grounding with the faint littering of callus. The space between you shortens, the air thin so quickly you can barely breathe, his lips brushing yours so lightly it’s almost asking the question again.

And because you don’t know if you can wait another year to be in this position again, you close the gap. Your hands twist into the front of his shirt as you pull him closer, deepening the kiss, the weight of three years fizzling into nothing as he wraps his arms around your lower back, the mistletoe dropping to the floor.

It’s not enough for your brain to process before you break apart, both of you breathing heavily, his forehead resting against yours. 

“Good?” you exhale, the word trembling on your lips.

Those down-turned eyes study you, taking in the curve of your eyebrows, the length of your lashes, and the humps of your lips. He responds by pulling you back into him, his kiss feverish now, mouth pitching against yours until you open with a soft gasp and welcome his tongue.

For as much as he smokes, he barely tastes like tobacco. Your tongue picks up on coffee and spearmint, licking against him and resisting the urge to bite down when the hands on your hips dip past the hem of your shirt, brushing the bare skin of your sides. 

When he pulls back again, the sound he makes in his throat feels as if it’s the hardest thing he’s ever done. He presses a kiss to your forehead, your nose, and one cheek. “Is this okay?”

For a moment, you want to be offended by the question. This man, who you’ve wanted for years, is stopping the very thing you want to ask questions. But when your brain puts two and two together, when you realize that, of course, he’s asking for permission, it only makes that heat in your belly curdle.

“Yes,” you breathe against his lips, pulling him into you again. His touch is deliberate yet tender, palms exploring more of your skin and pulling you into him like he can’t get enough. The intensity of the kiss leaves you dizzy, and you barely hold on to his neck long enough for him to hike up your legs and wrap them around your waist. 

The journey to your bedroom is hazy. You register when your back brushes against a wall when he stumbles, a sting in your lip when he bites down. By the time you both fall into bed together, the sheets are cold, your skin naked and flush with his and you blink away the arousal enough to take him in. Despite his outward appearance, Hiromi is beautiful. The sinewy muscle that curves a faint impression of abs, firm pectorals, and lean thighs with a thick line of dark hair that collects where he hangs heavy.

He leans down, trailing soft kisses from your lips down the column of your throat, licking the curve of each nipple before taking them in his mouth one by one. You arch into the wet feel of his tongue sliding down your stomach, nipping down your pelvis as he slides large hands under your thighs and throws them over his shoulders. The sight of him there, between your legs, hair mussed and falling in front of his eyes, sends a rush of heat through your body so quickly that you almost choke on a breath.

“You like me,” you can’t help but tease, exhaling in a fluttering laugh when he snorts and presses a kiss to your inner thigh. It feels as gentle as a promise, flaring in importance as he works his way up, the stubble of his jaw grazing your sensitive skin, leaving a blistering trail of fire in its wake.

“I definitely do.”

Your back, which is already unconsciously arching slowly from the feel of his breath at the apex of your thighs, practically snaps when you finally feel him on you, a cry leaving your throat inhibited. The world seems to narrow on the feel of him, the way his thick tongue moves with unrelenting accuracy, the way his lips press and suck, groaning into your folds when you unleash sounds you didn’t know you were capable of making. 

“Hiromi,” you gasp brokenly, your hands tangling in his hair and tugging closer as the tension builds in your core. He hums against you, sucking your clit into his mouth, a vibrating jolt of pleasure shooting through your body. It’s too much and not enough, your breath coming in ragged gasps and pleas as he takes you apart.

When you finally shatter, it’s with his name on your lips, your body shaking wildly as waves of pleasure consume you. Through it all, he doesn’t waver, licking you slowly through the aftershocks, his hands stroking your thighs to work you down.

When he finally pulls away, his lips glistening with your essence and dark eyes fixed on you, there’s an intensity in his expression that steals the breath from your already struggling lungs. He trails wet kisses back up your body, hands picking up what’s missed until his tongue slides back in your mouth again. The taste of you is enough to lick that flame back to life again.

“Still okay?” he asks gently, roughened by desire but laced with unmistakable care that makes your eyes sting.

You nod, your chest still heaving from your orgasm, but the weight of your emotions and the look in his eyes demand words. “Yes. Always, Hiromi.”

Something passes over his features at the sound of his name on your lips, soft and unguarded. He kisses you once more, slow and deliberate, as if he’s savoring you. It’s not just want—it’s need, tethered to something deeper that’s been growing between you for years, but you were always afraid you wouldn’t be as strong on his side.

“I need you to know…this isn’t just tonight for me. It’s not just because that mistletoe was in that box.” He swallows, resting his forehead against yours. “I want you…this.”

The words settle between you like the freshly fallen snow that started a few hours ago, soft and weightless but undeniable. For a moment, your chest tightens, a fragile knot of hope loosening into something sure as his gaze searches yours. You cup his jaw, tilting his face so you can look into his eyes through your blurry vision. 

“It’s not just tonight for me either.”

The tenderness in his expression melts into something more charged, more finite—lips claiming yours and tip pressing to your entrance before he carefully slides in inch by inch, his eyes never leaving yours until he’s fully seated inside. It’s overwhelming—pleasure and emotion weaving together to make your body tremble beneath him.

It feels like it takes so much time and none at all for momentum to build between you. The heat of his breath, still tinged with your scent, fans across your cheeks as if he’s memorizing the shape of them. His hands dig into your hips and pull your closer to him, curving his cock with a blissful thrust that makes you see stars.

“Perfect,” he whispers, reverent as he kisses up your neck. “So perfect, angel.”

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, nails digging into the meat, yanking him impossibly closer as your throat pitches moan after moan into the hot air of your apartment. Each thrust is slow, deep, and intentional as if he’s trying to show you everything he can’t yet put into words. But you can feel the promise in the way his hips smack against yours. In the way he groans against your lips and swallows your pleas for more.

“I’ll do it right next time,” he whispers. “I’ll take a few days off work. Take you to dinner at the izakaya up the block you’ve been talking about.”

“Hiromi—”

“Three years of wanting you, of pretending—” You can’t answer him, can’t really soothe him when his movements are growing desperate when he kisses you in a way that makes you lose yourself even further. 

You’ll muster up the energy later for another round, but right now, you’re rushing to the finish line, whimpering against his lips that turns into a debauched moan when his fingers find your clit, rubbing slowly despite the frantic clap of his hips.

You fall over first, you can’t help it. The whisper of your name from his lips is enough to yank you over with an embarrassed keen. He follows not long after. It’s not just pleasure—it’s the unraveling of three holidays spent balancing on the edge of this moment. Every rooftop conversation under snow cloud-covered skies, every flicker of shared warmth over tea, every stolen glance and whispered joke—all of it spills out now. It’s every lonely Christmas rewritten in the language of him, of this, of now.

He’s holding you through it as your orgasm pulses through you like its own heartbeat but doesn’t let go. In the quiet that follows, you think of that first night—how you brought him hot chocolate and warmth when he thought he needed neither. His lips press soft kisses to your temple, your shoulder, your fingers. His eyes so heavy with the need to sleep but his actions saying everything but.

“Merry Christmas,” he murmurs, his voice filled with something you hope to have a name for in the near future. 

You smile, dragging your fingers up and down his back. That unspoken thing finally becomes tangible, a soft tune creating harmony with the Christmas music still playing in your living room.

“Merry Christmas, Hiromi.”

Merry Christmas, @sassypossum!!!

[synvil]

Recording.. // Pornstar! Rafe Cameron x Pornstar! Fem! Reader

a/n: welp, this will be interesting. there’s so many ways this can go but let’s see which one i came up with.

synopsis : getting to work with the famous, most current top rated star in the porn industry was a dream. Let’s see how it turns out for you. pornstar! au!

warnings : explicit content! penetration, choking, cunnilingus, afab!, multiple orgasms, roughness, squirt, etc.

“[Name], thank you for coming. Did you get the email regarding today’s content?”

Shaking hands with the producer, you share a smile and nod, pulling away. “Yes, I read through it. I’m alright with it all.”

“Great, and I take it you’ve already showered and cleaned up before coming? Any questions?”

You nod again to the first part before thinking for a moment and parting your lips to speak. “Actually, I just wasn’t sure who I would be working with today. That wasn’t clear in the email.”

The producer exhales in understanding and hears the door opening, “Actually, we needed confirmation that he was willing to come in today,” and a tall, muscular and toned male steps out, a towel around his neck and in nothing but boxers and some gym shorts. “And there he is. Cameron!”

“Cameron..?”

The male who steps out looks up as he ruffles one end of the towel against his head of hair. “Yeah?” Almost immediately, he locks eyes with you.

Holy shit.

THE Rafe Cameron. The highest rated star in the industry, where every man and woman alike would kill to meet the handsome stud, much more, to work with him.

Must be a fever dream.

When you first auditioned to be part of this industry, Rafe was only beginning to take off.

And now that you were one of the top stars alongside him, Rafe was the highest rated one, and every woman who ever had the chance to work with him, could never be the same.

Thing is, you had no idea what he was like. Was he rude? The pompous kind of asshole? Or was he charismatic and sweet? But if he was, was it just for show?

Many thoughts begin to flood your head until you realize the producer and Rafe have been talking, and now he’s coming over to you, hand extended out.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Y-Yeah, same.” You mentally curse yourself out for your anxiety and shake his hand but even more for the fact that you have yet to make eye contact, still glazing over his dripping wet bare body.

Rafe follows your gaze and gives a small chuckle, a charming smirk following it as he pulls away. “Sorry, thought I’d get a quick shower in before we start our filming.” He explains but you just manage a small nod. “R-right.”

The producer comes over and pats both of your shoulders. “Alright, now that we’ve done introductions, we’ll go over the scene once more with both of you and we’ll get started. Rafe, why don’t you go get dressed and I’ll get [Name] prepped?”

Rafe nods and gives you one more glance, his smirk still shining at you. With a wink, he turns away and takes his leave.

That smirk.. it sends a certain thrilling feel of desire in your stomach and you swallow thickly before attempting to focus your gaze on the producer, who begins to instruct the scenes.

Here you are..

“I can’t believe you!”

You shout as you slam the front door behind you, just for it to open a second later and Rafe coming in. “God, you’re insufferable!”

The current scene was you and Rafe coming home from the bar, celebrating a night of a special occasion, you had gotten a promotion at work.

And now you were rushing inside, having caught your on and off boyfriend of two years, openly flirting with another woman right next to you, once again.

At least that what it looked like to you, but your boyfriend has cheated before, and you weren’t going through it again.

“Would you just listen to me for one second?!”

Rafe’s voice follows after you while you take off your heels and throw it his way. “Don’t fucking talk to me!”

He narrowly dodges the heels thrown at his face before the expensive bag in your hand is also aimed for his head.

“What are you doing?” He asks, catching the bag with a scoff as you retreat to the kitchen.

“Take it back. I don’t want it anymore, we’re done.”

“Done? So you’re just giving all the things i bought you, back?” Rafe looks at you in disbelief as you begin to take off the jewelry on your person and drop it on the counter with a clink.

“I’m done with second chances, you asshole. You can’t just do one nice thing for me, one night.” I curse, slamming my hands down on the countertop as I turn to face him.

Rafe calmly sets the bag down as he stands opposite of you of the counter and sighs softly. “Baby, you’re not thinking straight, just let me explain before you-“

“Before I what? Break up with you for the final time?” You pull off the bracelets until you’re finally free of any jewelry and slide it towards him. “Take it all back.”

This time, Rafe can’t help but curl his lips into an amused smile, as he watches you return everything on you that he had bought for you.

“All of it?”

You tsk and point to the doorway. “The heels are back there.” You remind him though he was obviously aware.

“Alright, everything.. then the dress is included, right?”

. . .

“W-What?-“ Clearly taken back, Rafe’s lips forms a smirk at your clear surprise.

“Last I checked, I bought that stunning black gown you’re wearing tonight.. to celebrate.. remember?”

His words cause you to purse your lips and you’re aware of his slow advances towards you as he rounds the island counter in the kitchen. Rafe doesn’t break eye contact, keeping his eyes trained on you as he does this.

Tensions are high and you know he’s right, but you also know what will happen if you take off the dress.

However, behind the facade, behind the cameras rolling, your inner self is ready to burst. Your cheeks are beginning to flush and you can feel the intensity of his gaze on your body, trailing up and down your figure. Whether or not he was in character was unclear but it still made you wet with arousal at the sight.

Reluctantly, you bring your hands up to the straps, pulling it to the side of your shoulders and down slowly.

Rafe’s eyes hungrily takes in your fully naked form, you weren’t even wearing panties.

Your lack of undergarments weren't part of the script, which you can tell catches Rafe by real surprise momentarily, but it quickly dissipates into a smirk instead.

“No underwear?.. How naughty of you..” he murmurs as he finally makes it to your side and you fight the blush that’s threatening to spread and darken further.

“Shut up-“

Rafe just chuckles at your reaction as his hands sneaks around your bare waist. He looks down from his height with a certain glint in his eyes. “Hey, i’m not complaining..” He says as his head moves to your neck, kissing your collarbone softly. “it's kinda sexy..”

What the hell, I can’t respond.

He’s so hot.. i need to talk.. but im speechless..

My heart is pounding so hard— Relax, [Name], this is all just acting- Rafe Cameron is just acting.

You’re overthinking, stay professional!

But the next thing you knew, Rafe Cameron’s lips were smashing against yours in an intense, heated kiss.

And the faint whimper that escaped your lips wasn’t fake.

Needy hands roam your body everywhere, his lips planted on your neck and kissing every inch of your skin. He raises his head up to your ear and whispers, his breath hot. “You good?” It was quiet and subtle, not loud enough to pick up on the microphone hanging near us.

You nod faintly, and he grins, not waste another second ravishing you.

All the prior anxiety and worries you had faded and you found yourself melting into the kiss, Rafe’s muscular arms lifting you up by the waist and placing you on the counter, the cold touch making you gasp.

That gasp was enough time for him to allow his tongue to slip in, the muscle exploring inside your mouth, making you moan lightly.

Every movement was full of passion, Rafe fondling your breasts, giving each mound a full squeeze. His fingertips pinch your buds, a gentle twist causing you to send a breathy sigh. Your hands find their way to his hair and tangle your fingers in the locks of his dirty blonde locks.

Rafe's low chuckles reaches your ears again as he travels up to nip at your earlobes. His right hand goes down to dip between your thighs, his index finger planting itself right at your clit. He rubs it a few times before whispering, "So wet.. I can't wait to taste your pretty pussy.."

It's almost a growl when he says it, sending rushes of adrenaline through your body and the boost of arousal grows further in you.

The Rafe Cameron gives you one last kiss on the lips before he slowly slides down to his knees, muscular hands grabbing a hold of your thighs tight and firm, and being face to face with your already glistening pussy.

He licks his lips and doesn't hesitate to dive face first, tongue taking a long lick to your folds before going down on you. "O-oh, fuck-" Your eyes flutter shut at the wet sensation, a sharp inhale slipping out.

Holy shit, it felt incredible.

Rafe's tongue moves in circles around your clit a few times before continuously slurping up your juices that leaked from your folds, devouring your pussy like he was starved.

Your hands prop up your body by placing it firmly on the surface under you, but you can't help the hand that goes to tug on his hair and push his face deeper in, which causes him to chuckle deeply, the action creating vibrations through you.

"Oh god, Rafe." You breathily pant, his grip forcing your thighs to remain spread while his tongue prods at your entrance, pushing in and out. "Shit.. you taste incredible.." He mutters as his nose buries itself against your clit. The feeling is enough to send you into overdrive, your head tossing back and a tightening in your stomach makes you cry out.

"R-Rafe, I'm so close-"

Grinding your hips against his face, you illicit a loud mewl of pleasure, your body sending shocks throughout as you tremble from a hard orgasm.

Despite your fluids gushing down his chin, he continues to delve deeper in, overstimulating you, causing your thighs to shake as you cry out again, making him laugh.

“Aw, was it too much for you, sweetheart?” He grins mischievously and you flush, ignoring the way your heart flutters at the nickname as you attempt to catch your breath, watching as he licks his lips and stands up straight, ripping off his button up.

You can feel your mouth going dry at the sight of his toned, chiseled abs, the sweat glistening on his skin but what widened your eyes was the sight of his hardened bulge through his trousers, and you reach for the hem of his pants and pull him close, wrapping your legs around his torso.

Remembering you’re still on camera, you speak, “This doesn’t mean I forgive you.” You mutter, staring into his eyes while your hands palm him softly, working to unzip his zipper. But your words only cause him to flash a smirk as he helps you undo his trousers. “Oh don’t worry, sweetheart, by the time i’m done with you, you’ll forget about tonight.”

Crashing his lips with yours, you grunt but let him pull you even more towards the edge before pulling you down to the ground, his hands pulling the waistband of his pants and boxers down.

He strokes himself a few times, your eyes unable to help itself to the sight and you swallow thickly.

“Something wrong, baby?” He hums in amusement and you turn away a bit bashfully. “Not at all.”

Turning you around so you faced away from him, he breaks into a smirk as he wraps his arm around to give you a hand necklace, your throat firm in his grasp. Lining himself up at your entrance, he leans in close and speaks lowly. “Good, because I don’t intend to stop.”

Without warning, he inserts his length inside and you cry out a noise of pleasure. Your back at arches and he tightens his grip on your throat, but not enough to hurt you. “Heh, shit, you’re so fucking tight..” It almost seemed like it was actually Rafe saying this to you, instead of his character, but you didn’t have much time to think about it after as he begins to thrust into you from behind.

“F-Fuck-!”

One hand goes up to grab ahold of his arm that was holding your neck, and the other holds onto the counter for support. Every hard thrust causes your breasts to bounce as you two move in sync, Rafe doing deep but slow thrusts. His other hand is firming holding your waist but it travels up to grope your right breast, squeezing it hard.

Strings of moans are filling the room, and you momentarily forget the audience and cameras on you as all you can focus on is Rafe’s cock penetrating you hard.

He’s so deep.. i-i can’t think straight- it’s too much..

i’m so close- no wonder he’s so popular..

Rafe pulls away from your neck to use both hands to hold your hips firmly, his own picking up the pace as he begins to fuck you fast, the wet juices squelching each time your skin makes contact.

His hand goes down and his finger flicks your clit and it’s starting to send you over the edge. “Rafe..” Whimpers escape you as you dip your head down, clenching your fists on the countertop tightly.

“R-Rafe, fuck, you’re so deep.. i-i’m gonna cum-“

Rafe just smirks as he rubs your clit further, continuously thrusting you harder and faster until he feels a gush over your release and he pulls out, watching as your pretty glistening pussy squirts all over the floor.

“Fuck.” He bites his lip at the sight as he feels his own building up, and he spins you around while you’re panting. “Get on your knees,”

You fall to your knees to his command, and watch as he strokes himself fast and seconds later, his cum spurts its white salty liquid over your face, painting it like a canvas.

He pants heavily, catching his breath while you do the same, eyes fluttered shut at the warm liquid drips down.

“And cut! That was great, now get cleaned up you two!”

“You alright, [Name]?”

Still on the ground, you barely register a voice is talking to you while you appear dazed and confused.

Rafe has some skin-sensitive wipes in his hands, gently rubbing your face to wipe off any of his fluids before carefully helping you to your feet. “Did I go too rough on you?”

“I’m alright, thanks..” You whisper, feeling the exhaustion take over you. You lean onto Rafe, who holds you securely against his chest. “If it’s any consolation, today was fuckin’ amazing..” He chuckles lightly as he presses a tender kiss to your temple before guiding you to the couch where you can rest for a bit.

“Yeah?.. I think i understand why so many women gush over you after working with you.” You giggle weakly, sending an appreciative look when he sets you down gently, placing a blanket over you. He also chuckles lightly. “Yeah, but I think i’d like to work with you again, sometime soon. Maybe we can talk about our next filming together over dinner?”

Your stomach feels as though butterflies are doing flips inside you at the assumption of his words. “Are you asking me out, Rafe Cameron?”

Rafe merely shares a wink before pecking your forehead and getting up. “I’ll let you figure that out. Meanwhile, I’ll head to your room and draw you a bath to clean up.”

He takes your hand to press a soft kiss to the back of it before smiling your way and then turning to leave. Maybe he wasn’t acting the whole time.

“.. Rafe Cameron just asked me out..”

Best filming job ever.

a/n: hello all, hope you enjoyed! :) merry christmas. i shall have the first post of my camgirl series out soon!! <3

i’m sorry if this seems like such a rushed abrupt ending but i wanted to finish this in time for christmas :)

[helioooss]

isolation caved in, i adore you; the sound of your skin

synopsis: you and minjeong get caught up in a dating scandal — all along, she realises she has been in love with you.

warnings: flufffff

w/c: 3k+

a/n: another short story…it’s 2:30am and i couldn’t really sleep.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the faint buzzing of your phone on the nightstand jolted you awake, the sound cutting through the quiet of your small apartment; the dim light from the screen cast shadows across the room as you reached for it, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

minjeong’s name lit up on display, accompanied by a string of missed calls that made your stomach twist with unease.

she never called like this, not unless something was wrong.

“hello?” your voice came out rough, still thick with sleep, as you pressed the phone to your ear.

there was silence for a moment, save for the faint sound of her breathing on the other end. you sat up straighter, the worry bubbling up in your chest.

“mindungie?” you tried again, softer this time. “what’s going on? are you okay?”

her reply was a shaky inhale, followed by a soft sniffle that made your heart drop. “i’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “i didn’t want to bother you.”

“you’re crying,” you said, your voice laced with concern. “don’t apologise, i’m here.”

another pause, heavy and suffocating. then, in a voice so small it was almost inaudible, she said: “i’m in another dating scandal.”

your chest tightened at her words. she had faced scandals before — being in the public eye in one of the most popular girl groups in the world meant she was no stranger to baseless rumours and invasive speculation but hearing her cry over it was completely new.

“what’s sm doing about it this time?” you asked, already trying to piece together a plan in your head. “aren’t they handling it?”

“they want me to take a hiatus,” she said bitterly, her voice trembling. “alongside my recent surgery; they think it’s the best way to let things settle, but it’s not just about me this time. it’s affecting other people…people who don’t deserve this.”

your heart ached at the frustration in her voice and the way she sounded so defeated. you hated this; hated how the world wouldn’t leave her alone, wouldn’t let her live without dissecting every moment of her life.

“it’ll settle down,” you reassured gently, even though you weren’t sure if you believed it yourself. “it always does. people will move on to the next thing soon enough.”

“not this time,” she mumbled, her voice quieter now, tinged with something close to despair. “this one’s different.”

you frowned, the weight of her words sinking in. “what do you mean? who are they saying you’re with?”

there was a long pause, the kind that made your chest tighten with dread. you could hear her breathing, uneven and shallow, as if she was trying to muster the courage to answer.

finally, in a voice barely above a whisper, she said, “you.”

the word hung in the air and for a moment, you weren’t sure you’d heard her correctly.

“me?” you repeated, making sure you heard correctly.

“yeah,” she said, letting out a bitter, shaky laugh. “they’ve got all these photos…ones from when we were kids and some from the last time i visited busan. they’re saying we’ve been secretly dating for years.”

your mind raced as her words sank in. you thought of all the moments the two of you had shared, ones that were so innocent but now felt heavy under the weight of her confession.

the time she’d visited you at the restaurant, laughing as she stole bites of your food; the long walks along haeundae beach, where she’d tease you about how much slower you’d gotten since you were kids.

moments that had always felt like yours alone — twisted into something you hadn’t prepared for.

“that’s ridiculous,” you replied firmly, though your voice wavered just slightly. “they’re just making things up like they always do. anyone who knows us would know it’s not true.”

“it’s not about what’s true,” she added, her voice breaking again. “it’s about what they can make people believe. and they’ve done a good job. it looks…convincing.”

your stomach twisted at her words, the dread settling deep in your chest. “have you looked at it?”

“yeah,” she admitted, her voice barely audible. “and it’s bad. really bad.”

you clenched your jaw, anger and protectiveness bubbling up inside you. “minjeong, you know none of this matters, right? the people who care about you, the people who know us, you — they won’t believe it.”

“but it’s not just about me,” her voice trembled. “it’s about you, too. they’re saying things — terrible things about you, digging into your life. our lives in busan. i didn’t want this for you.”

you’d always known the risks of being close to her, of staying a constant in her life even after she became a star but you never imagined being dragged into her world like this; exposed in a way that felt so violating.

“i don’t care what they say about me,” you insisted, though the knot in your stomach told a different story. “what matters is you. we’ll get through this. we always do.”

she let out a shaky breath, her voice softer now. “please don’t look it up,” she begged. “it’ll only hurt you, and i don’t want that. promise me, please.”

the curiosity was already gnawing at you, but the desperation in her voice was enough to make you falter.

“i’ll try,” you answered eventually, though you weren’t sure if you could keep that promise. “but you’re not alone in this, okay? you don’t have to carry it all by yourself. and you’ve done nothing wrong.”

she didn’t respond right away, but you could hear her breathing slow slightly, as if your words had brought her even the smallest bit of comfort.

“can i come over?” she asked after a moment, her voice small and tentative. “i’m back in busan for a week or two.”

“of course,” you said without hesitation. “you can stay as long as you need.”

“thank you,” she whispered and for the first time since the call started, her voice carried a faint trace of relief. “i’ll be there in a minute, see you, y/n.”

“okay,” you hummed with a smile. “be safe.”

when the call ended, you set your phone down and leaned back against the headboard, staring at the faint glow of the streetlights outside your window. your mind was a storm of thoughts — worry for her, anger at the situation…and a quiet, nagging fear about what this would mean for the fragile boundary you’d built between friendship and the feelings you harboured for years.

as much as you hated to admit it; a small selfish part of you felt the weight of her words differently. they thought she was in love with you. and no matter how false the rumour was, it struck a chord in you that you tried to bury a long time ago.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the small kitchen was quiet except for the soft clink of the spoon against the teacup as you stirred the honey into the warm chamomile tea. the warm light above the stove cast a faint glow on the countertop, highlighting the steam rising from the mug.

on the side, you’d set out a small plate of chocolates — the mint chocolate ones she always liked. it wasn’t much, but it was all you could think of in the middle of the night, your hands moving on autopilot.

your mind drifted, as it often did when it came to her. minjeong. winter. her name alone carried a weight in your chest that you’d grown used to over the years but never quite knew how to handle.

you have loved her for as long as you could remember, though you’d never dared to say it out loud — not to her, not even to yourself most days.

it was easier to keep it buried, to cherish the friendship you had without risking everything by wanting more. but now, it felt like the fragile balance you’d built was falling apart.

this scandal, these rumours — they were forcing everything to the surface and it terrified you.

what if she believed it? what if she looked at you and saw the truth you’d been hiding all this time? worse, what if it ruined everything?

the thought of losing her was unbearable.

resting your hands on the counter to steady yourself, you heaved out a sigh. the fear clawed at you; relentless and unyielding. you didn’t want her to think there was any truth to the rumours or make her feel uncomfortable around you. all you wanted was to protect her.

your gaze drifted to your phone on the counter, the curiosity too strong to ignore. she’d begged you not to look, but your fingers moved before you could stop them, typing your name and hers into the search bar.

almost instantly, the top result caught your eye — a youtube link with over a million views. the title read: aespa winter and y/n: secret love through the years.

your stomach dropped as you hesitated, then tapped on the link. the video began playing, a soft piano melody accompanying a slideshow of photos.

the first few were ones you recognised: pictures from your childhood, back when you and minjeong were just kids running around the streets of busan; they were harmless, ones you’ve shared to the public.

then came the more recent ones and your breath hitched. you didn’t even know where the fans had found these photos, but they all told the same story.

the two of you, close and comfortable, looking at each other like no one else existed. in every frame, your gaze lingered on her like she held the universe in her hands.

and then came the details — the matching necklaces, the ones you’d ordered from japan for her 21st birthday, customised with her initials and a small star charm. the video even included clips of minjeong talking about you in interviews, her voice warm and full of affection as she called you her rock, her safe place.

it was overwhelming and your chest tightened with a mix of emotions — fear, longing, guilt. you hadn’t realised how obvious your feelings were, how much they’d been captured in fleeting moments you thought were private.

you closed the video quickly, the knot in your throat threatening to choke you. you couldn’t let her see the truth, not like this.

a sudden, soft knock at the door startled you, pulling you out of your thoughts. your heart jumped as you turned towards the sound. wiping your hands on your toy story pyjamas, you walked to the door and opened it slowly.

there she was.

minjeong stood in the hallway, her small frame wrapped in an oversized hoodie, the sleeves hanging past her hands. a black hat and mask covered most of her face, but her red and swollen eyes were unmistakable.

she looked utterly exhausted and before you could say a word, she stepped inside and crashed into you, her arms wrapping tightly around your waist as she buried her face in your shoulder.

her body trembled as she started crying again, her muffled sobs breaking whatever composure you’d managed to hold onto.

“i’m so sorry,” she choked out between breaths, her voice cracking. “i’m so, so sorry.”

you froze for a moment, overwhelmed by her sudden closeness, but then your arms moved on instinct, holding her tightly.

“hey,” you whispered, your voice soft and steady, though your heart was racing. “it’s okay. you don’t have to apologise.”

“it’s not okay,” she sobbed, her words coming out in gasps. “you don’t deserve this and i don’t know how to fix it.”

you closed your eyes, resting your chin gently on the top of her head. “we’ll figure it out,” you reassured, your voice firm despite the storm inside you. “you’re not alone in this. i’m here.”

she clung to you like a lifeline, her sobs slowly quieting as you held her and closed the door behind you. the scent of her floral shampoo filled your senses, grounding you in the moment. you didn’t know how long you stood there but you didn’t care. all that mattered was her and the promise you’d made to be there, no matter what.

when she finally pulled back, her face was flushed, her eyes red and puffy. she wiped at them with her sleeve, looking small and vulnerable in a way that made your chest ache.

“thank you,” she murmured, her voice hoarse. “for everything.”

you shook your head, offering her a small, reassuring smile. “you don’t have to thank me, mindungie. just…come sit on the couch. i made us some tea.”

her lips twitched into the faintest of smiles; trailing behind you. her presence filled the space with a warmth that was both comforting and heart-wrenching.

as you handed her the cup of tea and watched her take a small sip, you couldn’t help but wonder how long you could keep the truth hidden — how much further you could pretend you weren’t in love with her when every moment like this made it harder to breathe.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the cup, her favourite one; chipped and its colours fading, now sat on the coffee table as she curled up at the far end of your small couch; knees drawn to her chest, her oversized hoodie drowning her small frame. the moonlight streamed through the half-drawn curtains, bathing the room in a soft silver glow.

you just sat beside her, unsure how to navigate the weight of her silence.

finally, she broke it. “i don’t care what happens to me,” she said softly, her voice trembling just enough to make your chest ache. “but you…i’m worried about you.”

you blinked, taken aback. “me?” you said, your voice quiet. “you don’t have to worry about me.”

“how can i not?” she replied, her eyes locking with yours, wide and filled with worry. “they’re going to dig into your life, say horrible things about you. i can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt because of me.”

you sighed, leaning back against the couch. her concern was touching, but unnecessary. “minjeong, i’ve lived my whole life being just another face in the crowd. no one’s ever cared enough about me to say anything, let alone horrible things. i can handle it.”

“you don’t know what it’s like,” she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper. “you don’t know how cruel people can be when they think they know your story.”

“maybe i don’t, but i know this much: i can handle petty comments from strangers. what i can’t handle is seeing you like this. so don’t waste your energy worrying about me, okay?”

her lips trembled and for a moment, you thought she was going to cry again. instead, she looked away, her blonde hair falling messily into her face.

“you’re too kind, you know that?” she began softly. “sometimes i think you’re too good for me.”

you wanted to laugh at the absurdity of her words, but the vulnerability in her voice stopped you. before you could respond, she turned back to you, her gaze hesitant. “can you…can you hold me?” she asked shyly, her voice almost timid. “just for a while?”

your breath got caught in your throat, but you nodded, shifting closer to her on the couch. she leaned into you, her head resting against your shoulder as her body relaxed against yours. you wrapped your arms around her gently, feeling the warmth of her against you and the steady rise and fall of her chest.

the moonlight caught her features, highlighting the soft curve of her jaw, the delicate slope of her nose, the way her messy blonde hair framed her face.

even like this — tired, vulnerable, with tear-streaked cheeks and swollen eyes, she was breathtaking.

your fingers found their way to her hair, running through the strands gently and you felt her sigh against you, a soft, contented sound that made your heart ache.

“sometimes,” she murmured, her voice muffled against your hoodie, “i wish i wasn’t famous. i wish i’d chosen a normal life, stayed here in busan. with you.”

your heart squeezed at her words, but you forced yourself to keep your tone steady. “you were meant to be a star, minjeong,” you said softly. “you’ve always been destined for it. even when we were kids, you had this…this light about you. people were always going to notice.”

“but i didn’t want them to notice this,” she said, her voice laced with bitterness. “i didn’t want them to hurt you.”

you didn’t know what to say to that, so you stayed quiet, your fingers continuing their soothing rhythm through her hair. her words, though, lingered in your mind, intertwining with thoughts you’d been trying to suppress all night.

what would it be like, you wondered, if she truly felt the same way about you? if the rumours weren’t just rumours but a glimpse into something real?

you’d spent so long convincing yourself that she was out of reach — that her world was too far removed from yours for anything more than friendship.

what could you even possibly offer her? your simple life, a tiny apartment and a small restaurant?

there was nothing about you that could ever impress her, nothing that could compare to the glitz and glamour of her world.

and yet, here she was, leaning against you, seeking comfort in your arms. it felt too good to be true and you hated the way your heart clung to the moment, desperate to believe it meant something more.

“what are you thinking about?” her voice broke through your thoughts, soft but curious.

you froze for a moment, your hand stilling in her hair. “nothing.”

she pulled back just enough to look up at you, her face still close enough that you could see the faint shimmer of tears in her eyes. “don’t lie to me,” she muttered, her tone gentle but insistent. “you’ve got that look on your face, like you’re a million miles away.”

you hesitated, unsure how much to tell her. your mind raced for an excuse, something lighthearted to distract her, but the weight of her gaze made it impossible to lie.

“i was just…thinking about us,” you admitted quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. “about how different our lives are. and how…how lucky i am to still have you in mine even though you’re a big star now.”

her expression softened, and for a moment, you thought you saw something flicker in her eyes; something you couldn’t quite place. before you could dwell on it, she leaned back into you, resting her head against your chest this time.

“you’re not lucky,” she smiled. “i am.”

her words settled over you like a blanket, warm and comforting, yet heavy with meaning. you didn’t know what to say, so you stayed silent, holding her with your eyes closed as the moonlight bathed the room in its quiet glow.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the soft chirping of birds filtered through the open window, mingling alongside the morning sun spilling into the room. the first thing you noticed as you stirred awake was warmth — minjeong’s warmth, her body pressed close to yours, her head nestled against your shoulder, an arm draped across your waist and her soft breaths tickled your neck.

you froze, your heart immediately racing as the situation fully sank in. it had been years since you’d been this close to her — the space you’d carefully maintained between you was gone and the intimacy of the moment made your chest tighten with equal parts longing and fear.

as your eyes fluttered open, her blonde hair was the first thing to greet you, falling into her face in strands that glowed golden in the morning light. her cheeks were slightly flushed, lips parted ever so slightly as she remained lost in sleep. she looked peaceful, so beautiful.

for a second, you let yourself admire her.

then reality hit and panic crept in. this was too close, too much. you couldn’t risk her realising your true feelings as you carefully shifted, trying not to wake her, but your movements caused her to stir.

her eyes opened slowly, blinking as they adjusted to the light. when they focused on you, a soft smile tugged at her lips.

“good morning,” she mumbled, her voice still laced with sleep.

“morning,” you replied, your voice awkward and stiff as you immediately shifted away, creating a small but noticeable gap between you. “sorry. i didn’t mean to, uh, get so close.”

her smile faltered slightly, her brows knitting together in a small frown. “why are you apologising?” she asked, her tone soft but tinged with confusion.

“i just…i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you sat up, rubbing the back of your neck; heart still racing. “i’ll make us some breakfast.”

before she could respond, you were already on your feet, making your way to the kitchen. she sat up slowly, watching you with a look you couldn’t decipher.

“let me help,” she offered, already starting to move.

“no, no,” you said, turning back to wave her off. “just sit on the couch, okay? i’ve got this.”

she hesitated but eventually relented, settling back onto the couch with a small sigh. pulling out her phone, she began to tap at the screen, though her gaze kept drifting back to you as you moved around the kitchen.

she wasn’t texting anyone, though — not really. instead, she found herself scrolling through the same photos and videos she’d seen the night before, the so-called “evidence” of your supposed relationship. each image showed the two of you at different points in your lives, some familiar, some she didn’t even know existed. but it wasn’t the photos themselves that caught her attention — it was you.

the way you looked at her in every single one of them. it was so obvious now, in a way she hadn’t allowed herself to notice before.

your gaze was always soft, filled with something she couldn’t quite name but felt deeply in her chest. she stared at one photo in particular, a candid shot of you smiling at her during one of her almost weekly visits to busan. the look in your eyes made her heart flutter.

it can’t be, she thought, her heart beating faster as she lowered her phone — but the thought lingered, refusing to leave. she glanced at you, watching as you moved around the kitchen with practised ease, cracking eggs into a bowl and chopping green onions with quick motions.

the smell of something sizzling in a pan soon filled the room and she couldn’t help but think about how natural this felt; waking up to you, watching you prepare breakfast as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.

you were so focused, so determined to make everything perfect for her and the thought made her chest tighten.

her phone buzzed in her hand, a message from jimin lighting up the screen.

‘are you sure you and y/n aren’t dating?’

she ignored it, setting the device aside as her attention drifted back to you. her thoughts were a mess, swirling with confusion and a strange kind of hope she wasn’t sure how to name.

you turned then, catching her gaze, and the world seemed to still. her heart skipped a beat as you smiled, holding up a plate.

“breakfast’s nearly ready,” you smiled, the warmth of your voice spreading all the way to her chest. “hope you’re hungry.”

she nodded, her throat feeling tight as she tried to push down the growing emotions threatening to overwhelm her.

“i am,” she managed to say, her voice softer than she intended. “also sleepy.”

and as she watched you turn back to the stove, the realisation hit her all at once, unrelenting and undeniable.

i’m in love with her.

the two of you sat at the small dining table, plates of warm, steaming food in front of you. you made made simple dishes — scrambled eggs, leftover rice and grilled mackerel with a side of kimchi.

it wasn’t extravagant, but she ate it like it was a gourmet meal, a soft hum of satisfaction escaping her as she took her first bite.

“i missed this,” she said, her voice muffled slightly as she chewed. “your cooking, i mean. it’s so much better than anything i get in seoul.”

“don’t let your manager hear you say that,” you teased, grinning as you poured her a glass of water. “they’ll think you’re living off convenience store meals.”

“i practically am,” she admitted with a laugh, her nose scrunching in that way it always did when she found something genuinely funny. “you have no idea how much i’ve missed this.”

the conversation drifted into easy territory, the kind of nostalgic reminiscing that always seemed to happen when you were together. you found yourself laughing as she recounted a time in middle school when she’d gotten detention for climbing onto the school roof to retrieve a kite you’d accidentally let go of.

you shook your head. “you were always such a shy troublemaker, how you ended up as an idol, i’ll never know.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” she shot back, mock-offended. “i’m responsible now. mostly.”

“sure you are,” you said, smirking. “remember your first boyfriend? what was his name again? jonghoon? jinhoon?”

“it was junghoon,” she corrected, rolling her eyes but unable to hide the small smile tugging at her lips. “and we were, like, twelve. it doesn’t even count.”

“oh, it counts,” you said, leaning back in your chair with a grin. “you were so serious about him. always writing him those sappy little notes.”

“don’t remind me,” she groaned, covering her face with her hands. “i can’t believe i ever thought that was romantic.”

“hey, at least you had a boyfriend,” you said, unable to resist teasing her. “i’ve got nothing to compare to.”

she dropped her hands, her expression shifting into something more curious. “why is that, anyway? is there no one special in your life? i’ve been meaning to ask.”

the question caught you off guard, your smile faltering for just a moment before you quickly recovered.

“if there was, you’d be the first to know,” you said, nudging her foot under the table. “don’t be stupid.”

her expression softened at your words, a small smile playing on her lips, but you weren’t sure why.

trying to lighten the mood, you added with a grin, “though, if you give me jimin’s number, maybe i’ll reconsider.”

her reaction was immediate. her brows furrowed, and her smile disappeared as she stabbed at her rice with her chopsticks.

“you’re kidding, right?” she said, her tone sharper than you expected.

you blinked, taken aback by the sudden shift. “obviously,” you chuckled, but she frowned deeper. “come on, winter. it was a joke.”

“well, it’s not funny,” she muttered, her gaze fixed on her plate.

“why are you getting so worked up?” you asked, tilting your head to study her. “what’s it to you if i joke about jimin?”

she didn’t answer right away, her jaw tightening as she shoved a piece of mackerel into her mouth.

when she finally spoke, her tone was clipped. “it’s just…weird, okay? she’s not even your type.”

“oh, and you know my type now?” you shot back, raising an eyebrow. “you haven’t even see me with any girl.”

she looked up at you then, her eyes narrowing slightly. “yeah, i do.”

the tension between you was palpable, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. you weren’t sure what to make of her reaction — it was so unlike her to get upset over something so small. but then, as you watched her, the realisation began to dawn on you.

she’s jealous, you thought, the idea almost too absurd to entertain.

you decided to test the waters, leaning forward with a small, teasing smile. “minjeong,” you said, your voice light. “are you jealous?”

her eyes widened slightly, but she quickly masked it, looking away with a scoff. “don’t be ridiculous.”

“you’re jealous,” you said, your grin widening. “oh my god, you’re actually jealous.”

“i’m not!” she insisted, her cheeks flushing as she crossed her arms defensively. “it’s just—ugh, forget it.”

her reaction only made you laugh, the tension between you dissolving as quickly as it had appeared. she glared at you, but there was no real heat behind it, and eventually, she let out a small, begrudging laugh of her own.

“you’re impossible,” she said, shaking her head as she picked up her chopsticks again.

“and you’re adorable when you’re mad,” you said without thinking, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

she froze for a moment, her cheeks reddening further and you felt your own face heat up as you realised what you’d said.

but instead of snapping at you, she simply looked at you, her expression unreadable, and for a moment, the air between you felt charged again, heavy with something unspoken.

“just eat your breakfast,” she said finally, her voice softer now and you nodded, your heart still racing as you focused on your plate, wondering what, exactly, had just happened.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the next few days passed in a quiet rhythm that felt almost too perfect to last. mornings were slow and easy, filled with soft conversations over coffee and the occasional sound of minjeong humming to herself as she wandered around your small apartment.

afternoons were spent watching movies, cooking together, or simply lying on the couch; tangled up in blankets and each other.

it felt normal in a way that was disarming, like the two of you had slipped into a version of life where nothing else existed — no dating scandals and pressure, just the comfort of being together.

it scared you how easily you’d fallen into this routine, how much it felt like home. every small touch, laugh, every shared glance seemed to chip away at the walls you’d spent years building around your heart.

and with each passing day, it became harder to ignore the truth you’d buried for so long — you were still in love with her and being this close to her now was both a blessing and a curse.

for her part, she seemed quieter than usual, her gaze lingering on you a little too often, her smiles softer, more hesitant. she hadn’t brought up the scandal again, but you could feel the weight of it hanging over her, a tension that never quite left her shoulders.

one night, you decided to close things out with one of her favourite movies, tenet. she was practically giddy as she set it up, her excitement a stark contrast to the more subdued moments of the past few days.

“you’re going to love this,” she geeked out, her eyes lighting up as she settled onto the couch beside you. “it’s so clever. you have to pay attention, though.”

“you realise you say that about every confusing movie,” you teased, earning a playful shove from her.

two and a half hours later, the credits rolled, and you found yourself lying on your side, facing her. your arm was wrapped loosely around her waist, her head resting against your shoulder. the movie had been a blur of time loops and action sequences, none of which had made any sense to you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

your attention had been more on her than anything else — the way her lips twitched into a small smile during her favourite scenes, the way she unconsciously leaned closer to you as the story unfolded.

“so,” she began, her voice soft and teasing, “what did you think?”

you groaned dramatically, tightening your arm around her waist. “i think i have no idea what just happened.”

her jaw dropped in mock offense and she pushed at your chest. “you’re kidding! how could you not get it? it’s brilliant!”

“oh, i got it,” you grinned. “something about going backwards in time, saving the world and…i don’t know, doing a little dance?”

“you’re impossible,” she muttered, but the smile tugging at her lips betrayed her amusement.

“you’re adorable when you’re frustrated,” you replied without thinking, the words slipping out before you could stop them as you laughed.

her smile faltered, her cheeks flushing slightly as she stared at you, her expression suddenly turning serious.

the laughter that came so easily from you, the warmth of your skin pressed against hers — it all felt too much and not enough at the same time.

she didn’t know when it started. maybe it had been years ago, back when the two of you were just kids, chasing the tide and dreaming of futures that felt so far away. or maybe it was more recent, in the stolen moments when she would visit you between schedules, sitting in your tiny apartment and making her favourite dishes and feeling more at home than she ever did in her dorm.

but tonight, as the credits rolled and your soft laughter filled the quiet, it clicked.

it was you. it had always been you.

the realisation settled over her like a wave, overwhelming and undeniable. you were the missing piece, the thing she had been searching for without even realising it.

the void she’d felt for so long, the ache that no amount of fame or success could fill — it was simply you.

“y/n,” she said softly, her voice tinged with something you couldn’t quite place. “what are we doing?”

your heart skipped a beat, her question pulling you sharply out of the playful banter. “what do you mean?”

“this,” she said, gesturing between the two of you. “us. spending all this time together, acting like…” she trailed off, her gaze dropping to where your arm was still wrapped around her. “acting like we’re more than just friends.”

you swallowed hard, your chest tightening as her words settled over you. “i don’t know,” you admitted. “but i know that i don’t want it to end.”

her eyes flicked back up to yours, wide and searching. “but what about everything else? what happens when i go back to seoul? what happens if people find out about this and they…they ruin your life?”

“minjeong,” you said, your voice steady despite the storm of emotions swirling inside you. “my life isn’t perfect, but it’s mine. and if being with you means dealing with a little chaos, then so be it. i’ve handled worse.”

“you don’t understand,” she said, her voice faltering. “it’s not just a little chaos. it’s people prying into your life, twisting your every word, making you out to be something you’re not. you have a normal life, y/n. i don’t want to be the reason you lose that.”

you reached up, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face. “you’re not going to ruin anything and my life stopped being normal the second you walked into it. and there’s nothing in this world i’d trade you for.”

her breath hitched at your words, her gaze searching yours as if trying to find some hint of doubt. “but what if it’s not enough? what if i’m not enough?”

“you’re everything,” you said without hesitation, your words filled with a sincerity that left no room for doubt. “you always have been.”

her lips parted as if to respond, but no words came. instead, she watched you with so much adoration in her eyes and closed the small distance between you, her lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was as hesitant as it was certain.

it was soft and gentle, like the answer to a question neither of you had dared to ask.

you responded instinctively, your hand moving to the back of her neck as you deepened the kiss, pouring years of unspoken feelings into the moment. her fingers tangled in your hair and her body melted against yours as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

when you finally pulled back, your foreheads pressed together, you could feel her breath against your lips, warm and shaky.

“i think…” she started, her voice trembling, “i think i’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

your heart swelled at her words, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes. “you’re not the only one,” you admitted, your voice breaking slightly. “i’ve hid how i felt for too long.”

“but we’re here now, aren’t we?”

a soft, watery laugh escaped her as she leaned in again, her lips finding yours in another kiss — this one deeper, more certain, like the beginning of something neither of you had dared to hope for.

and in that moment, wrapped in each other’s arms, it felt like the rest of the world could wait.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the end.

[sillymommy6969]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝕰XES & Os

Lara Raj x fem!reader

summary: you’ve been seeing lara for a while and she’s finally invited you to see them perform at an award show from the vip lounge, but you didn’t expect to see the last person you’d want to run into on the way to the bathroom, and lara isn’t too happy when she spots the both of you from onstage

warnings: nsfw, suggestive/sexual themes, hickeys, biting, rough!lara, dom!lara, jealousy, possessive!lara, semi-public!sex, car!sex, teasing, dirty talk

Y/N adjusted her dress—red, lara insisted she sported her favourite colour for good luck—smoothing the fabric over her hips as the bass from the concert hall vibrated through the walls of the VIP lounge. Tonight was a special night. Lara had personally invited her as her plus one to this show—a full house for some award show.

She had the perfect view of the stage—of Katseye.

Y/N had heard Lara sing before at Katseye concerts, but seeing her command an entire stage with her group was going to be such a new experience. The anticipation of watching her girlfriend in her element sent a thrill through Y/N’s body.

The woman decided to step out for a moment before the show began. The hallways were bustling with staff and a few other VIP guests milling about. There were tables on tables of food and drinks ordered perfectly, before a fancy bar offering many tapped kinds of beer. Y/N barely had a chance to orient herself and take in the room when she collided with someone.

“Oh, sorry!” Y/N started, but her voice faltered as she looked up and locked eyes with a familiar face.

Billie Eilish O’Connell.

“Y/N?” Billie’s scoffed, her voice like a melody she hadn’t heard in years but still recognized instantly. Her ex’s trademark smirk tugged at the corner of her lips. “Wow, it’s been a while.” Her eyes raked over the red, silky dress hugging Y/N in all the right spots. “You look… good.”

Y/N’s heart sunk. Of all places, why here? Why tonight? She cleared her throat, trying to maintain composure. “Yeah, it has. What’re you doing here?”

“I’m performing tonight,” Billie said casually, brushing her red rooted hair back. “And you? Who’re you here for?”

Y/N hesitated, debating how much to share. “My girlfriend, Lara invited me.”

“Lara?” Billie’s smirk widened knowingly. “As in Lara Raj from Katseye? I always knew you liked a woman with a bold hair colour,” she joked, “Small world, hm?”

Y/N nodded, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Billie’s piercing gaze always had a way of making her feel exposed, even when there was nothing to hide. Before she could figure out how to end the conversation gracefully, a deep voice called out. It could only be whom used to be one of Y/N’s more familiar friends, Finneas. “Hey, Billie! We’re needed backstage!”

“Coming!” Billie called back before turning to Y/N. “Well, it was nice seeing you again. Maybe we’ll catch up later?”

“Sure,” Y/N lied, already dreading another conversation.

Billie leant forward for a quick hug, her hand placed securely on Y/N’s waist before pulling away with a grin.

As Billie disappeared down the hallway, Y/N exhaled shakily. The timing couldn’t have been worse. She knew Lara wouldn’t be thrilled about her talking to her ex, especially not tonight of all nights. Y/N made her way back to the VIP lounge, hoping to put the encounter out of her mind.

The concert was electric. Katseye’s energy was infectious, and Lara shone brighter than the stage lights. Her voice soared, her movements captivated, and Y/N couldn’t take her eyes off her. Every so often, Lara’s gaze seemed to flick toward the VIP lounge, and Y/N felt her cheeks flush under the weight of her attention. It was impossible for Y/N’s voice to go any louder, she practically lost her voice shrieking her girlfriend’s name as they moved around the stage for “Touch”.

Lara made sure to blow a kiss her way before they ended.

A couple more acts came on after Katseye, all delivering unique performances. When Billie sauntered onstage, the audience erupted. Y/N froze in her seat as the spotlight illuminated her ex. She watched Billie and Finneas exchange a quick nod before the music started. Their voices blended beautifully, creating a hauntingly powerful harmony. But as Y/N’s eyes darted between them, she couldn’t shake the tension knotting in her stomach.

Toward the end of the song, something caught her off guard. Billie’s eyes flicked toward the VIP lounge—toward her. It was brief, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

And backstage, watching the dozens of screens streaming different angles of the show, it was nearly impossible for Lara to miss the deliberate motions Billie seemed to throw her the VIP lounge. Initially, she thought she was crazy, there were a couple other people standing behind the glass of the lounge, it could have been to anybody. But, after a wink, a blown kiss and intense eye contact as she moaned in apart of the song “Bitches Broken Hearts”, she was almost certain her girlfriend, standing out amidst the others in that linen dress, was the target of Billie’s affection.

And the girls’ teasing just seemed to solidify the theory.

“Damn, Billie’s really coming for your girl, huh?” Manon joked, nudging a tense Lara with her elbow, “Look at her face.”

Daniela exhaled deeply, “I could feel the heats from here.”

Megan whistled, fanning herself. “Can you blame her? Y/N’s looking mighty fine in that dress.”

Sophia playfully shoved her in the shoulder as she eyed the tight clench of Lara’s jaw. “Don’t go instigating, guys. There’s like twelve other people standing in that VIP box.”

Yoonchae tilted her head, before pointing at something on one of the screens. “Is Billie… pointing?”

The six members gathered around the screens, their headsets and mic’s still clutched in their hands. It looked to be Billie standing from her seat beside Finneas. And as the man played the tune to “I Didn’t Change My Number”, Billie walked her way to the edge of the stage, gazing over thousands of fans reaching for her and letting out shrill screams. But her own gaze landed on the woman up in the VIP lounge, shimmering red beneath the showcase lights. Her hand rose to point at the woman as she belched a particular line, a line she had written for her when reminiscing on the times Billie would love waking to this woman’s bare back.

Lara knew of Y/N’s past, her friendship then turned brief but toxic relationship with Billie. Y/N had assured her many, many times there was nothing there anymore, they don’t even talk, but the way Billie seemed to be flaunting her feelings for her girlfriend was like waving red before a bull.

She was going to fucking murder Billie Eilish.

Assisted backstage by Katseye’s manager after the concert, Y/N waited anxiously, knowing she’d have to face Lara sooner or later. She was excited to jump into her girlfriend’s arms, showering her with kisses and praise for how good she did onstage. She hoped to explain everything in case she had seen the whole Billie fiasco, but fate had other plans.

“Oh, hey!” Billie called out. She was catching her breath, sweat dripping from her head with her hair clipped up lousily. She had a bottle of water in her hand, half-drunk and crushed in between her fingers. “Did you enjoy the show?”

Y/N swallowed, nodding politely. “Yeah, you were good.”

“Yeah?” Billie smirked, looking down to wet her lips as she capped the bottle. “I was hoping you’d like it.”

The woman glanced past the singer’s shoulder to scout for her girlfriend or somebody from Katseye who could get her out of this situation. “Yeah, I really enjoyed the show. Hey, maybe we should catch up some other day over drinks, yeah?”

Billie tilted her head, “Really? I’d love that.”

She pulled her phone out her pocket, “I’ll text you a time and place. You still have the same number?”

From behind Y/N, Katseye had changed into the outfits they came in. They were laughing and chatting about the success of their performance. But Lara was ahead of the group, buzzing on her feet in excitement to see her girlfriend.

“Oh my God, is Y/N… talking to Billie Eilish?” Daniel gasped, “Wait, Lara, I didn’t know your girlfriend was friends with her. Maybe she could introduce us.”

But Lara stopped in her tracks, staring at the singer inching closer to her woman with a phone in her hand. She was sporting that signature smirk, her sleepy eyes drinking in the perfect skin to dress ratio her get-up offered. Without another thought, she strode over.

Y/N felt big hands palm her waist, sliding down and around her back. Warm lips met her cheek, before a taller figure loomed over her and alluring dark eyes met her own. She was basking in that post-performance afterglow and she looked ethereal. Before Y/N could greet her girlfriend or contain the excitement she felt suddenly surge from her head to her feet. Lara was already glaring at Billie, who just looked between them with an eyebrow raised.

“Hey, baby” Y/N started, the smile on her face spreading as she grabbed Lara’s face, pressing a couple kisses against her cheek. “You were incredible tonight.”

“Thanks,” Lara said curtly, her attention still trained on Billie, who brushed her nose and looked away. Her grip on the shorter’s waist tightened, fingers making its mark on her skin beneath the dress. She nodded towards Billie, who slipped her hand in her pocket. “What’s good? I’m Lara.”

“Billie.” The latter stuck a hand out, but retreated when Lara didn’t seem to entertain the offer for a handshake. “I’m a big fan. You guys looked amazing out there.”

“Mhm. What’re you guys talking about?”

“Nothing, baby, we were just catching up.” Y/N’s hand rested on Lara’s chest, fingertips caressing the fabric of her top in attempts to soothe the seething rage from the singer. “I was just saying goodbye to Billie. I’ll, uh—see you around?”

Billie nodded, winking. “See you around then, pretty girl.”

As she turned to leave, Lara pried herself from Y/N’s grasp. Her jaw locked and her fist clenched, she would have thrown a punch if Sophia and Y/N hadn’t held her back. The girls circled around the couple, keeping the redhead from getting in any trouble cameras could potentially catch.

“Lara, baby, please!” Y/N gasped, both hands on Lara’s chest as the taller looked over her shoulder at Billie disappearing into her dressing room.

“What the fuck is her problem, doesn’t she see me here?”

“Just let it go, it’s what Billie does, she’s trying to get a rise out of you.” The younger fixed the hair that fell into Lara’s face, gently cradling her face. Sophia motioned for the other girls to leave the two of them alone, they slipped away to the Katseye lounge for the afterparty. “Breathe, baby.”

Lara huffed, her lip twitched. Her nostrils flared as her jaw remained clenched, still looking anywhere but at Y/N.

Still, she didn’t reject her girlfriend’s touch.

Y/N’s arms circled around Lara’s neck, her fingers nipping at the baby hairs under her waves. Her body leant into Lara’s, gently tugging her into an embrace.

When she pulled away, Lara’s harsh grip on her hips softened.

“What the fuck was that? ‘Pretty girl’?” She scoffed.

“This is what she does, you can’t let her get to you.” She assured, “Billie’s just being… Billie.”

“And the fucking serenading? Is there something you wanna tell me, Y/N? She was singing and pointing at you during all her fucking sex songs.” Lara grunted, crossing her arms. “What, it’s just a fucking coincidence she was looking straight at the lounge of all the places she could’ve looked at?”

“Baby, you’re being ridiculous.” Y/N sighed, “I told her I was here with you. It’s not like that.”

“Really? After that whole show she put on onstage?” Lara’s jaw tightened. “And you just happened to run into her tonight? Backstage? With her all up on you like a slobbering dog even when she knew you’re here for me?”

“I didn’t plan it,” Y/N said quickly. “I bumped into her when I was tryna look for you. We only talked for a minute, I swear.”

Lara’s eyes searched Y/N’s face, her walls firmly up. “She was staring at you the whole, fucking thing. Do you have any idea how that looked? To me? To the audience?”

“I’m sorry,” Y/N said, stepping closer. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I only have eyes for you, Lara. Billie doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.”

Lara hesitated, her tough exterior cracking just slightly. “I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

“No, you had other things to worry about,” Y/N said earnestly. “You worked so hard for this, and I didn’t want to distract you. I’m sorry for talking to her, she just wanted to catch up.”

Lara sighed, her shoulders relaxing a fraction. “It’s not just about tonight. It’s about how I feel when I see you with someone like Billie—someone who clearly still wants to fuck you. Have you seen the way she was ogling you like you were a piece of meat?” She took the brown leather jacket she had on off, draping it over Y/N’s shoulders. “This pretty little body should just be for me, you got it? Me. Not Billie.”

“Lara,” Y/N gasped, feeling the taller’s hands palm her ass.

“I wanna hear you say it, baby girl,” Lara looked down at her girlfriend’s body, her eyes darkening and her lips slightly parted. Her hand slid beneath the base of Y/N’s dress. “Who does this body belong to, hm?”

“You, baby,” Y/N moaned softly, “Only you.”

Without warning, Lara closed the distance between them, capturing Y/N’s lips in a fierce, possessive kiss. Y/N’s breath hitched, but she melted into it, letting Lara’s touch silence every worry. Lara’s hands moved to Y/N’s waist, pulling her closer as if to claim her in front of the world.

When they finally broke apart, Lara’s eyes burned with intensity. “Come on.”

Y/N doesn’t even remember how they guys got there, but they were parked in an empty lot somewhere on the way back to the dorms. She was too focused on Lara’s hand inching higher and higher each minute as she sped down the streets. Then, Lara would hop out the car, circling around to pop open the door on the passenger’s side. Y/N let out a loud squeal as the Indian leant in to pick her out, carrying her in her arms. She kicked the door closed, opening the one in the back and gently setting the younger inside.

Getting in, Lara cramped herself in between the woman’s legs, closing the car door behind her.

As she leant down to push her own jacket off her girlfriend’s shoulders, her free hand raked up the woman’s bare thigh, scrunching her red dress. The two of them were making out like two animals in heat, a complete mess. The Indian’s teeth grazed the skin of her jaw, trailing wet kissed down her neck to her collarbone. Her lips latched onto the smooth skin of her chest, sucking red, dark bruises onto her.

“Fuck, I love this colour on you.” Lara growled into their neck, her hands caressing the curve of her hips.

With her mascara running and her lipgloss smudged, Y/N looked up at Lara’s darkening eyes taking in her disheveled look. The straps of your spaghetti dress were already halfway down your arms. She smirked, “I prefer it off of me.”

Her hands had found their way under her dress, fingers lacing into the waistband of her red laced thong. She rubbed her clit through the fabric, drawing out a moan from Y/N’s lips.

Growing frustrated with the fabric, she slid them off her legs.

Automatically Y/N spread her legs, giving Lara better access to her glistening pussy.

"Aww, baby. Look how wet you are for me." She teased as she rubs her bud gently. “You this wet for Billie too?”

The car filled with the sound of their bodies shifting, fabric rustling, and harsh breaths as they both grapple for control. Lara’s fingers grabbed one of her legs, throwing it over her shoulder, her fingertips digging into her skin, while Y/N’s hands tangle in her hair, pulling roughly. The younger woman shook her head, whimpers escaping her swollen lips.

“Please, Lara, don’t tease.”

Lara pulled away quickly, hand raising to grab Y/N’s cheeks harshly. She whimpered at the loss of friction, fingers reaching down the older’s back, nails scratching lines into her skin. Y/N bucked her hips into the knee between her legs, needing more.

Y/N can't help but focus on the sensation of her leg between hers, the friction sparking a tickle within her. She ground against her harder, the heat building between your legs, and she let out a soft moan, her head falling back against the seat.

Lara’s hand trailed down her inner thigh, teasingly close to where she need her most.

"Nobody fucks you like I do." Her fingers slip further under her legs, tracing her fingernails against the skin around her core. Y/N can feel the heat of her hand, fingers inching closer, but not close enough. "Say it." she groaned, her lips brushing against her earlobe, sending a shiver down her spine.

Her hips move with the rhythm of her hand, pushing against it, seeking more. "Yes, Lara," Y/N whispered, her voice hoarse with desire, "Nobody fucks me like you do.”

“Mmh, that’s what I thought.” she smirked, her warm breath brushing her cheek as she slowly pulled her hand away, leaving you empty and aching.

She watched her girlfriend squirm under her, a leg still held over her shoulder. Her eyes flicking down to where she was still pressed against her thigh, seeking relief. She spread her legs slightly, allowing her more room to grind against her. “Such a fucking brat, flirting with your ex.”

“Stop being an asshole and fuck me already!” Y/N whined desperately, her nails digging into her shoulders.

She moved her fingers to plunge into her girlfriend. Y/N let out a loud moan.

“At least when I’m an asshole, I have enough gas in the tank to fuck you the way you deserve to be fucked.” she growled, pressing herself against her. “In the back of my car like a whore.”

Lara dove into the crook of the younger’s neck, her teeth sinking into her tender flesh to silence a groan coming from her own throat at the feeling of your cunt around her, starting a steady rhythm, she gripped your hips harder. “You gonna go talk to Billie after this? Show her the marks all over your body?”

The younger moaned loudly, the sound reverberating off the car walls. Her hand grasped at Lara’s hair.

“Shut up and keep fucking me.” she argued back, pushing back against her to meet her thrusts. the force of her movements made the car rock, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the air.

Her moans grew louder and more desperate as she continued to pound into you, one hand moving to grip your hair roughly. “Oh, fuck—God, Lara!—don't stop!'"

Lara’s other hand reached around to rub her clit, her fingers pressing hard against the sensitive nub as she fucked the younger mercilessly. Y/N’s body shook with the force of her movements, her legs trembling on the seat.

She hissed in Y/N’a ear, her breath hot and heavy, “You take me so well, baby,” she bites and sucks, quick to muffle any noises with her mouth, “just obsessed with my fingers, right?”

Y/N arched her back even more, pressing herself against Lara’s hot body as she filled her completely.

“Y-yes. Lara…” she slurred, “You feel so good!”

The windows of the car fogged up as the vehicle rocked violently with each thrust. Lara’s sweat dripped down her arm as she drove into Y/N relentlessly. By the way her legs were shaking, Lara knew she was close. “Cum for me, baby.”

Y/N’s moans grew louder, more urgent, as the pleasure built to an unbearable peak. Lewd noises escaped her parted lips. She clawed at Lara’s back as a powerful orgasm ripped through her. Lara helped her ride out her high, before sliding out. She plugged her fingers straight into her mouth, moaning at the tangy taste. She leant down, ignoring the slight burn she felt along her spine, kissing a panting Y/N’s forehead.

“Next time I see you with her, I’m gonna make her watch as I fuck you silly. Got it?”

[ikkyfics]

The Return

Summary: "Darling, I’m sure Anna doesn’t want to monopolize our evening. Perhaps we should..." "Don’t worry," you cut in, your voice as sweet as it was sharp. "I’m just catching up. Three months is, after all, quite a long time to be away."

Warnings: angst, hurt, reconciliation, sensitive topics, mention of betrayal (not consummated), rebuilding trust, intense and emotional dialogues

A/N: anon, I hope I do justice to your request - I hope you enjoy reading <333

Masterlist

The train moved through the vast whiteness, cutting through the snow like a pioneer in unknown lands. The rhythmic sound of the wheels against the tracks filled the silence of the cabin as you gazed at the landscape through the window. Snowflakes gathered on the glass, creating ephemeral patterns that quickly disappeared with the warmth of the cabin. The winter was always harsh, but there was something poetically beautiful in the monotony of the icy horizon.

You pressed the small bundle of letters against your chest, feeling the rough paper in your hands. Alexei's words echoed in your mind, the familiar phrases you'd read and reread countless times over the past three months. "I hope the snow is gentle with you," he had written in the last letter. "Natasha misses you, and so do I. Come back to us soon."

Alexei's handwriting had always been precise, almost meticulous, but it seemed to have lost something. Perhaps a fluidity, or the warmth with which he used to end each message with affectionate declarations. Not that he had been cold; far from it. But there was a restraint in the words, as if he were trying to hide something. You shook your head, pushing the thoughts away. There was no room for doubt. Alexei was your husband, and your nearly three years together had been surprisingly harmonious for an arranged marriage. You had built something real, something that seemed unshakable.

The longing tightened like a knot in your chest. It was almost impossible to be away from Natasha, your daughter, who was under two years old and already the light of your days. You could imagine her now, perhaps playing with the blonde curls she had inherited from Alexei or dragging some toy across the floor of the hall. Alexei would surely be close by, attentive, although not the type to show excessive affection. He had a magnetic calm, a charisma that drew looks and trust from everyone around him.

You closed your eyes for a moment, remembering his face. The sharp features, the hair he always kept immaculate, but which seemed to rebel against control in the most intimate moments. His eyes, as clear as ice melting under the sun, held a depth that disarmed anyone who looked at them long enough. And yet, there was gentleness there, a softness he reserved only for you and Natasha.

The train made a turn, shaking lightly. You held your purse at your side and glanced at the clock. Only a few hours remained until you reached the station, and the thought quickened your heartbeat. What would the reunion be like? You felt your hands anxious, the words you might say to him forming and dissipating in your mind.

You opened the last letter again, your eyes following the familiar words. "The house is emptier without you. Natasha calls for you every night. I’ve been distracting myself with... events, but it’s not enough. Please come back to us soon." Something in the sentence felt hesitant, as though there was more he hadn’t said. But before you could reflect further, the train gave a final jolt, announcing the approach of the destination.

You took a deep breath, putting the letter away and straightening your posture. Soon, very soon, you would be home.

The station was alive with the sound of carriage wheels on the pavement, hurried footsteps, and voices muffled by the steam of the trains coming and going. The air was heavy with the smell of burning coal and the biting cold of winter. You gripped your suitcase tightly, your heart pounding in your chest as you stepped off the train. It had been almost three months away from home, away from him, away from Natasha.

Your gaze swept over the crowd, searching for a familiar figure. Men in top hats and heavy coats hurried past, women wrapped in shawls shielded their faces from the cold, but it wasn’t any of them you were looking for. Then, you saw him.

Alexei stood near a cast-iron column, his imposing stature setting him apart from the chaos around him. He wore a dark gray overcoat that accentuated his broad shoulders, and a black hat partially shaded his face. But it was impossible not to recognize those eyes—clear as ice in the sun, watching you with intensity, as though the world had stopped.

You paused for a moment, unable to breathe, unable to believe that you were finally here. He took a step forward, removing his hat with an elegant gesture, revealing his perfectly styled blonde hair, though a stubborn lock fell over his forehead. Time seemed to freeze around him, the bustling station blurring into an indistinct haze. All that remained was him.

"Alexei," you whispered, your voice choked with the emotion rising to the surface.

He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he walked toward you with long, determined strides, his face controlled, but his eyes betraying a storm of feelings. When he stopped just inches from you, the silence between the two of you seemed to speak louder than any words.

"You’re back," he finally said, his deep voice heavy with something you couldn’t name. He seemed so calm, so restrained, but the way his eyes traced every line of your face, as if making sure you were real, betrayed how much he had missed you.

You let the suitcase fall to the ground and took a step toward him, unable to hold back. The distance between you vanished when you threw yourself into his arms, your fingers gripping the heavy fabric of his overcoat as you buried your face in his chest. He seemed stiff at first, as though the moment had caught him by surprise, but in seconds, his arms closed around you, strong, protective, as if he never wanted to let go.

"Alexei," you murmured again, the sound muffled against him. The words failed, but it didn’t matter. The way he held you, with an almost desperate firmness, said everything he couldn’t express.

He tilted his head, his face buried in your hair. You felt the warmth of his breath on the top of your head, the subtle touch of his lips against your strands. "I was counting the days," he murmured, his voice so low you almost didn’t hear it. "Every damn day."

You pulled away just enough to look at him, your eyes full of the tears you’d tried to hold back. "Me too. I counted them too, Alexei."

He raised one of his hands, his broad, strong fingers sliding along the side of your face, wiping away a lone tear that had escaped. "You’ve lost weight," he observed, concern evident in the softness of his voice. "But still beautiful." The corner of his lips curved into a brief smile, a shadow of the charisma you knew so well, but still devastating.

You laughed, even though the emotion still tightened your throat. "And you look... more tired. Is everything okay? And Natasha? Is she okay?"

"She misses you. We both do," he replied, the smile fading as seriousness returned to his face. "She’s at home, waiting for you. She kept looking at the door every day, asking when you’d come back."

Your heart squeezed at the words, at the image of your daughter so small and eager for your presence. "I need to see her," you said, the urgency growing.

"Let’s go home," Alexei said, effortlessly taking your suitcase and holding your hand with the other. "We’ve waited long enough."

As he guided you through the station, his hand firm on your back, you felt that despite the chaos around you, there was something solid in being next to him again. The connection between you both seemed to have withstood time and distance, but deep down in your heart, you still felt a shadow, something you couldn’t name. Something hiding in the corners of your thoughts and in the glances that Alexei, as loving as they were, couldn’t completely mask.

The carriage jolted gently as it moved through the icy streets of St. Petersburg. Outside, the sky was painted a dark gray, and the snow covered everything like a white blanket. Inside, warm and cozy, you couldn’t stop looking at Alexei. He was sitting beside you, one hand holding yours, his gaze fixed on the window as if he were lost in thought. The silence between you was only filled by the sound of the horses’ hooves on the road.

"So," you began, your voice breaking the silence, "what happened while I was gone? How is Natasha? Is she eating well? Is she sleeping properly? And you? Alexei, is everything okay?"

He turned his face slowly, his clear eyes landing on you with an intensity that almost made you shrink. "Natasha is fine," he replied, his voice low and controlled. "She missed you, but she’s strong. I... I’m fine. Don’t worry about me."

"Of course I worry," you retorted, narrowing your eyes. "Three months, Alexei. Almost three months without seeing her. Without seeing you. Don’t tell me not to worry."

He sighed, his free hand rising to loosen his tie. "It was... a busy time," he admitted, looking away. "But now you’re here. That’s what matters."

Busy. The word hung in the air, heavy and vague. You studied him in silence, noticing small details that hadn’t been there before. The stiffness in his shoulders, the subtle dark circles under his eyes that the soft light of the carriage couldn’t quite hide, and something in his eyes – a shadow, a weight that seemed to have settled in during your absence.

"Busy how?" you insisted, feeling an increasing need to understand.

"Society matters," he said, evasive. "Ball after ball, endless appointments... nothing worth mentioning now. We’re almost home. Natasha’s waiting for you."

His words were like a barrier, a calculated response to end the subject. You wanted to insist, wanted to ask what exactly had been consuming him, but something in his tone – and maybe something in you – made you pull back. It wasn’t the time, not yet.

When the carriage finally stopped in front of your house, your heart raced. Alexei stepped down first, extending his hand to help you down, the gesture so natural and courteous it seemed like an extension of who he was. You accepted, stepping down carefully and looking at the familiar facade of the residence. Everything was the same, yet at the same time, something felt different.

Inside the house, the warmth of the fire in the hearth and the scent of burning wood wrapped around you in a feeling of comfort. Your eyes scanned the space, searching for her – your daughter, your Natasha. And then you saw her.

She was in the arms of a nanny, sitting near the fireplace. Her blonde hair shimmered in the warm light of the fire, and her rosy cheeks were rounder than you remembered. She turned her head when she heard your steps and blinked, as if trying to confirm that it was really you.

"Natasha," you called, your voice thick.

The little girl blinked again before a wide smile lit up her face. "Mommy!" she cried, squirming in the nanny’s arms until she was placed on the floor.

You couldn’t wait. You knelt on the rug and opened your arms, barely believing you’d finally have her in your arms again. Natasha ran towards you with hurried, awkward steps, stumbling slightly but not stopping until she threw herself into you.

"My girl," you murmured, holding her against your chest and burying your face in her soft hair. She smelled of soap and something sweet, something you could only describe as her.

Natasha began to speak excitedly, her words tumbling over each other as she told you about things that, to her, were grand adventures – the new toys, the walks in the garden, the stories her father had told her before bed. You laughed and cried at the same time, absorbing every detail, every word, as if you needed to make up for all the lost time.

"You're so big now," you said, holding her face in your hands. "My big girl. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Mommy," she replied, her words coming out a little jumbled, but still clear enough to warm your heart.

For a moment, you forgot everything – the station, the unanswered questions, the subtle changes in Alexei. All that mattered was the comforting weight of your daughter in your arms and the feeling of finally being where you were meant to be.

You lifted your eyes to Alexei, who was leaning against the doorframe, watching the scene with an expression that was impossible to decipher. "We're together again," you said, your voice soft and full of emotion. "Finally together."

Something passed through his eyes, something that made him look away for a brief moment before he replied. "Yes," he said, but the word seemed to carry more weight than it should have. He took a step forward, kneeling beside you.

"Natasha," he called gently, and the little girl turned to him with a radiant smile. "Are you happy now? Mommy is home."

"Happy," Natasha replied, laughing and grabbing one of his hands while still holding yours.

The moment was perfect, almost. But the way Alexei looked at you – as if there was something he wanted to say, but couldn’t – left a small shadow lingering over your heart. You pushed the thought aside, determined to enjoy the reunion. After all, you were home. With them.

Dinner went by in a mix of light conversations and moments of pure joy. Natasha, always chatty, monopolized much of the attention with her stories and childish laughter, and you could hardly contain your smile seeing her so excited. Sitting at the table with your family again felt like a balm for your heart, something you had longed for through endless weeks. Alexei, in turn, remained a bit quieter than usual, but still participated with occasional comments, always attentive, always directed to you or your daughter.

After dinner, you took on the task of putting Natasha to bed, refusing any help. It was a moment you wanted for yourself, a ritual you had missed so much during your absence. In the little one’s room, you dressed her in a soft cotton pajama, decorated with tiny flower designs, and sat by her bed while she snuggled under the covers.

"Sing to me, Mommy," Natasha asked, her sleepy eyes already blinking slowly.

"Of course, my little flower," you replied, stroking her hair before you began to sing a soft lullaby, one that your own mother used to sing to you.

When Natasha finally fell asleep, breathing softly against her pillow, you stayed for a few more minutes in the room, just watching her. Her chest rose and fell in a peaceful rhythm, and her little face, lit by the dim light of the lamp, seemed like the perfect picture of peace. Your heart filled with an almost overwhelming love, so intense that it was hard to put into words.

As you left the room, you made your way to the master bedroom. The house was quiet, and the hallways seemed bathed in a cozy dimness. When you opened the door, you found Alexei sitting in an armchair near the fireplace, a glass of wine balanced in his hand. He had changed out of his formal dinner clothes into a white linen shirt, unbuttoned at the collar, and lighter pants. His golden hair was a bit messy, as if he had run his fingers through it several times. The fire cast soft shadows on his face, highlighting his strong jawline and marked cheekbones.

You paused for a moment in the doorway, watching him without saying anything. He seemed lost in thought, his clear eyes fixed on the fire. There was something about him that always made him seem a bit younger and yet filled with a maturity that made him irresistible – a mix of vulnerability and strength that seemed uniquely his.

"You’re very thoughtful," you said, finally breaking the silence as you closed the door behind you.

Alexei lifted his eyes, and his expression softened when he saw you. "Just thinking about how much I missed you," he replied, his voice low and filled with sincerity.

You walked over to him, feeling the warmth of the fire as you drew closer. "Three months," you murmured, stopping beside the armchair. "It felt like an eternity."

He set his wine glass aside and reached out his hand, pulling you gently into his lap. You let yourself be guided, snuggling against him as his strong arms closed around you. His scent – a mix of wood and something subtly citrusy – was so familiar that it made your eyes close for a moment.

"You’ve lost weight," you said, a touch of concern in your voice as you traced your fingers along his collar. "Haven’t been eating well?"

"Do you think food tastes the same when you're not here?" Alexei replied, a slight smile curving his lips. He tilted his head, his clear eyes searching yours. "You’re the heart of this house. Nothing feels right without you."

His words, so simple and direct, made your heart race. You lifted one hand to touch his face, your fingers brushing the line of his jaw. "You have a way of saying things that completely unravels me, Alexei," you admitted, your voice barely a whisper.

He smiled, the kind of smile that seemed to carry so much affection it almost hurt. "Just being honest," he replied, leaning in to brush his lips against yours. The kiss was soft at first, almost hesitant, but it quickly deepened, becoming more intense, filled with longing and need.

When his lips finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, his warmth surrounding you completely. "Promise me you’ll never stay away for so long again," he asked, his tone more vulnerable than you were used to.

"I promise," you replied, feeling a lump form in your throat. "But you have to promise me something too."

Alexei tilted his head, his clear eyes fixed on you with an intensity that made your heart race. "Anything," he said, his voice low and deep, filled with sincerity.

"If something is wrong, if something is weighing on you, I want you to tell me," you continued, holding his gaze. "We’re a team, Alexei. We always have been."

For a moment, he didn’t respond, just watched you as if trying to memorize every detail of your expression. Then he slid one of his hands to your face, holding it with a gentleness that contrasted with the evident strength in his fingers.

"I promise," he murmured, but the way he said the words – slow and measured – suggested something deeper, something he wasn’t ready to share yet.

Before you could respond, Alexei leaned in to kiss you again, and this time, there was no hesitation. The kiss was a fusion of longing and need, filled with everything that had gone unsaid during the three months you had been apart. You felt his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you closer, as if he needed to prove to himself that you were there, real and present.

"You have no idea how much I missed you," he said against your lips, his voice rough and broken.

You closed your eyes, absorbing the warmth of his confession as your fingers slid into his hair, messing up the golden strands even more. "I know," you whispered, your heart tight with the weight of lost time. "I missed you too... everything about you."

Alexei didn’t respond with words. Instead, he rose from the armchair with you still in his arms and walked toward the bed. The movement was so natural, so full of intention, that you found yourself unable to look away from him.

"Three months," he murmured as he gently laid you down on the sheets, his eyes roaming over your face as if he were trying to memorize every detail. "It was the longest three months of my life."

You reached up to touch his face, tracing the line of his strong jaw and the contour of his lips, now curved into an almost imperceptible smile. "Then let’s not waste another moment," you replied, your voice soft but filled with conviction.

He didn’t need any more encouragement. Alexei leaned down, his lips finding yours again, but this time with a passion that was both raw and controlled. His hands explored every familiar curve, as if he needed to remember every part of you.

The night unfolded in a mix of whispers, touches, and moments of pure connection. He was gentle, as always, but there was a new intensity, something that spoke of lost time and how much he had longed for you. Every gesture, every word whispered in your ear seemed to carry the weight of everything you both hadn’t been able to express during the months of separation.

In the end, you found yourself nestled against his chest, your heart still racing while his fingers traced lazy patterns on your back. His breath was deep and steady, and you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to relax completely for the first time in months.

"Promise me you won’t leave again," he whispered, breaking the silence.

"I promise," you replied, your voice thick with exhaustion and the overwhelming love you felt for him.

And while the world outside continued with its concerns and challenges, there, in Alexei’s arms, you finally found the peace you had longed for.

The following days brought a routine that you embraced with more joy than you expected. After three months apart, every detail of life at home seemed more significant. The familiar scent of the freshly tended garden, the soft laughter of your daughter echoing through the halls, the sound of Alexei talking with the servants — all of it formed a comforting mosaic, bringing back the feeling of belonging.

Still, there was something different.

Alexei remained attentive and engaged, but you noticed moments when he seemed lost in thought. His eyes, so expressive, carried a restlessness that he masked well. It wasn’t anything glaring, but you noticed. A lingering stare into nothing, slightly delayed responses, a subtle change in tone by the end of the day. It was subtle, but you could feel the difference, as only someone who knew him so deeply could. Still, you decided not to press him. The reunion was still recent; maybe time would erase any shadow that was troubling him.

It was in this context that the first big event since your return took place: a ball.

The night arrived with a light chill, which seemed to accentuate the elegance of the event. The mansion hosting the ball gleamed like a jewel under the starry sky, with torches lighting the path flanked by snow-covered trees. Carriages arrived one after another, unloading elegantly dressed guests, while servants hurried to collect coats and organize the entrance.

Inside the hall, the atmosphere was even more breathtaking. Crystal chandeliers reflected the candlelight in a sparkling display, casting golden and silver patterns on the ornate walls. A string quintet played softly, filling the air with elegant music, while the scent of fresh flowers and wine lingered in the atmosphere. Guests in luxurious dresses and impeccable suits moved gracefully through the space, their voices in animated murmurs, interspersed with restrained laughter.

You entered the ballroom alongside Alexei, his arm firmly resting on yours, a gesture that seemed natural and yet carefully displayed for society. He looked impeccable in his formal uniform, with golden details accentuating his broad shoulders and proud posture. His hair, always carefully styled, reflected the light as if it were made of golden strands, and his light eyes scanned the room with a gaze that was both warm and vigilant.

You had also prepared carefully for the occasion. Your deep blue dress contrasted with the lighter tones around you, the silver embroidery seeming to capture the light with every movement. The elegant neckline and long sleeves accentuated your silhouette, and you felt the gazes following you as you walked past him.

"Everyone’s watching you," Alexei murmured in your ear, his tone both protective and proud.

You smiled, not looking directly at him. "Maybe they’re watching you."

He tilted his head slightly, as if considering your response, but the playful gleam in his eyes revealed that he liked the idea.

However, as the evening went on, something changed.

As you conversed with some acquaintances, you noticed diverted glances, muffled whispers, and a growing discomfort began to settle in. It wasn’t paranoia; people were definitely talking about something. Their polished smiles and courteous greetings barely masked the tension on the faces of those you knew well.

It was during a pause in the music that you saw it.

Alexei was on the other side of the room, speaking to someone you immediately recognized: Anna.

She looked stunning in a red dress, her dark hair perfectly arranged, and a smile that seemed to enchant everyone around her. Alexei was slightly leaned toward her, which in itself wasn’t unusual—he had always been attentive in conversations. But there was something in the way he looked at her, an intensity you had never seen before.

Your heart tightened, and you felt the world around you slow down for a moment.

You quickly averted your gaze, pretending to be interested in a glass of champagne that a servant offered. Your face betrayed nothing; you knew how to control your emotions in public. But inside, questions began to form, each one more difficult than the last.

Alexander approached with a cordial smile, his imposing figure standing out in the already rich environment of ornaments and luxurious dresses. His suit was impeccable, a deep gray that contrasted with his brown eyes, so different from Alexei’s. Despite the physical and personality distinctions, there was something about him that inspired the same aura of confidence and power as his brother.

"Allow me to steal you for a walk, my dear sister-in-law," he said, his voice low and polite, but still carrying the warmth that always made you feel welcomed.

You accepted without hesitation, offering him a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. "It would be a pleasure."

Alexander extended his arm, and you took it, allowing him to guide you away from the conversation circle you were in. The murmurs and laughter from the ballroom seemed to grow in the background as you moved at a slow pace, wandering between the marble columns and the glow of the chandeliers.

"How has your return been so far?" he asked, the conversation casual, but his observant eyes betrayed something deeper.

"Tiring," you replied, with a practiced lightness. "But I’m relieved to finally be back."

Alexander let out a soft, almost imperceptible laugh. "I imagine it wasn’t easy to leave everything behind for so long."

"It wasn’t," you admitted, turning your face to watch the guests dancing in the center of the ballroom. "But some things can’t be ignored, as you well know."

He nodded, but didn’t say anything for a moment. Then you felt it: the looks he gave you, longer than they should’ve been, almost condescending. There was no judgment in them, but a kind of compassion that made you feel an increasing discomfort.

"Does something about my appearance seem off?" you asked, trying to hide your unease with a light joke.

"Not at all," he replied quickly. "You look stunning tonight."

You knew he wasn’t just being polite, but the weight behind his words was hard to ignore. Alexander wasn’t one to speak too much, but his ability to convey the unspoken was almost unbearable.

"Did Alexei mention anything about my absence?" you asked, finally gathering the courage to address the matter that had been on your mind since you entered the ballroom.

"Alexei..." Alexander began, but then stopped, his eyes fixed on something—or someone.

You followed his gaze. There was Alexei, still by Anna Karenina’s side. She was laughing at something Alexei had said, her head slightly tilted toward him. And Alexei… He had that look in his eyes. Something soft, something captivating. Something you rarely saw when he looked at anyone else.

The world around you seemed to slow down, every sound muffled, as if the entire ballroom had fallen silent. You felt Alexander’s arm move slightly beneath your hand, bringing your attention back to him.

"Anna is a remarkable lady," Alexander said, his voice low and controlled.

"I know who she is," you replied, almost not realizing you had spoken out loud.

"Of course you do," he murmured, but there was something in his tone that suggested more than mere confirmation.

You continued walking, but your attention kept drifting back to the sight of Alexei and Anna. The way he leaned slightly toward her, his smile—not forced, but genuine.

"Alexander," you began, your voice sounding more hesitant than you would’ve liked. "Is there something I should know?"

He hesitated, just enough for the tension in the air to rise. "You know Alexei has a restless heart. He’s like a bird who sees an open window and can’t resist the curiosity."

"That doesn’t answer my question," you retorted, your hand tightening slightly on his arm.

"Because some questions don’t need to be answered," he said, giving you a look that was both understanding and protective.

There was a latent pain in his words, as if he understood perfectly what you were feeling, but knew that no explanation could ease the weight in your chest.

You glanced at Alexei again, and this time, you met his gaze. He saw you, and for a moment, something in his expression changed. It was as if the magic of that moment with Anna had been broken, as if he were a boy caught in a forbidden act.

You adjusted your dress with an automatic gesture, while the muffled sound of the orchestra seemed like a distant soundtrack to the turmoil inside you. Alexander stepped away after a brief farewell. Each step he took toward Alexei and Anna was a decision that reverberated in your chest like the echo of a heavy bell. The distance between you seemed like an abyss, but still, you kept going. There was no turning back now.

Alexei straightened up, adjusting his suit as if that could somehow protect him from the intensity of your gaze. Beside him, Anna turned, offering a calculated smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

"Darling," Alexei began, his voice sounding controlled, but without the familiarity you so longed for. "We were just talking about—"

"Don’t worry," you interrupted softly, your tone impeccable but with a hint of ice. "I don’t want to interrupt."

Anna tilted her head, as if analyzing every word you said. "It’s always nice to meet such a courteous soul," she said, the smile remaining but with something sharp hidden in her expression. "I was just commenting to Alexei how charming this ballroom is. It’s no wonder so many important events happen here."

"Ah, yes," you replied, keeping your tone polite but feeling the lump in your throat grow. "This is the kind of place where people meet, isn’t it? But I must say, I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting your husband, Anna. Isn’t he joining you?"

Her smile faltered for a moment, but quickly recovered. "Unfortunately, he couldn’t come today. Business, you understand."

"Certainly," you murmured, letting the word hang in the air, laden with meanings that no one dared mention. "I imagine it’s difficult to keep up with all the engagements when one is so busy. I’ve felt the same since I returned. It seems there’s so much I’ve missed."

Alexei cleared his throat, his unease evident. He shot you a quick, almost pleading look, but you ignored it, keeping your eyes fixed on Anna. "But it’s good to know that Alexei has been in good company while I’ve been away," you added, a soft, almost imperceptible smile touching your lips.

Anna responded with a polite laugh, but you noticed the slight tension in her shoulders. "Ah, of course, Alexei is a gentleman. He was just telling me about some… society matters."

"He’s truly very helpful," you said, tilting your head, as if reflecting. "Always so thoughtful."

Alexei intervened, his voice low but firm. "Darling, I’m sure Anna doesn’t want to monopolize our evening. Perhaps we should..."

"Don’t worry," you cut in, your voice as sweet as it was sharp. "I’m just catching up. Three months is, after all, quite a long time to be away."

The words fell like stones on a glass surface. The ballroom around you seemed to grow quieter, or perhaps it was just your perception, distorted by the growing pain inside you. Your fingers trembled slightly, but you hid them between the folds of your dress, struggling to maintain the flawless appearance.

Anna smiled, but this time the gesture seemed more like a mask than anything else. "Well, I won’t steal any more of your time. It was a pleasure, as always."

"Certainly," you replied, nodding your head in farewell, but the look you cast at Alexei was not one of farewell. It was something deeper, something you knew he would understand.

As she walked away, the silence between you was deafening. Alexei reached out to touch your arm, but you took a step back, keeping your gaze fixed on him.

"Not here," you murmured, your voice low and controlled, though the tremor in your hands betrayed the chaos inside you.

He hesitated, as if wanting to argue, but the weariness in his eyes seemed to silence him. You turned on your heel, head held high, and began to walk away, but the weight in your chest was overwhelming.

As you moved through the ballroom, the noise around you slowly returned, but it felt distant, as if it came from a world you no longer belonged to. With each step, you felt the pieces of the puzzle falling into place, and each one pierced your soul like a sharp blade.

As you walked between the guests, your dress impeccably adjusted and your smile carefully positioned, the emptiness in your chest seemed to expand with each passing moment. The conversation with Alexei and Anna had revealed more than words could express; it was as if a veil had been torn, exposing something you had suspected, but refused to accept.

The glances that always seemed to last a second longer than necessary, the muffled whispers when you passed... now it all clicked. It wasn’t just your imagination, it wasn’t just the insecurities of a wife who had been away too long. It was something tangible, something that everyone there knew and that you were just beginning to understand.

You moved between the groups, smiling and waving mechanically, refusing to stop long enough for anyone to notice the crack growing in your mask. Alexei, for his part, kept his distance, respecting the space you clearly required, but still, you felt his gaze on you, heavy and silent, as if each time your eyes met, he was trying to say something.

The dinner table was a lavish sight, filled with delicacies that would have been irresistible on any other occasion. But now, just looking at the dishes made you feel nauseous. The last thing you could bear was pretending to have an appetite. You grabbed a glass of wine, more out of a need for something to hold than a desire to drink.

You tried to engage in the conversations, but the words of the others reached you like indistinct echoes. It was as if everyone in the room spoke a language you no longer understood. When someone mentioned Alexei, even casually, you felt the weight of the words, as if they were stones thrown at you.

The night seemed to drag on endlessly, each minute a silent torture. You deliberately avoided Alexei, moving from group to group.

When the moment to leave finally arrived, relief mixed with anguish, as if leaving the ballroom could ease the pain, even if only for a moment. Alexei waited for you by the entrance, as he always did, but this time there was something different about him. He didn’t try to touch your hand, didn’t make any casual remarks to break the silence. He simply opened the carriage door, and you stepped in without looking at him.

The ride back home was enveloped in an almost unbearable silence. The carriage swayed gently along the road, but every movement seemed to intensify the tension in the air. You kept your eyes fixed on the window, watching the passing lights and trying, in vain, to find some sense of normalcy in what had once been so familiar.

Alexei tried to speak once. "I..." he started, but his voice died the moment you turned to him, your gaze firm yet silent, saying everything that needed to be said. He sighed, leaning back in his seat, and didn’t try anything further.

The ride home was a blur, and when the door to the bedroom clicked shut behind you, echoing in the heavy silence of the house, it felt like an inevitable trigger. What had once been carefully controlled—the expressionless face, the calculated steps, the impeccable posture—crumbled as soon as you found yourself alone.

The first tear slipped silently down your cheek, warm and heavy, followed by another, then another. You tried desperately to stifle the sound rising in your throat, but the sob came, breaking the silence like a desperate wail.

Your legs gave way, and you leaned against the edge of the bed, your hands trembling as they gripped the fabric of your dress. All the weight of what you felt seemed to collapse at once—the pain of betrayal, the humiliation of the glances in the ballroom, the emptiness growing inside you.

Then, without warning, you heard footsteps behind you. Alexei. He must have heard the muffled sound of your crying or simply knew he couldn't leave you alone in that moment. He entered the room, and upon seeing you like this, his eyes filled with something impossible to describe — regret, pain, perhaps even desperation.

"No," you managed to say, your voice choked, your teary eyes meeting his. "Don't come closer."

But he didn’t stop. He ignored the warning in your voice, the protests in your expression. His large, firm hands gently landed on yours, which were still trembling, trying to push him away, but he didn’t give in.

"Don’t do this, Alexei," you whispered, your voice breaking. "No... I can’t..."

He didn’t respond with words. He simply pulled you close, wrapping you in his arms, the firmness of his touch contrasting with the gentleness with which he held you, as though you were something precious and fragile he feared breaking even more.

"Why?" you asked, your voice desperate, almost a muffled scream against his chest. "Why wasn’t I enough? Why, Alexei? I tried... I always tried..."

Your hands pushed against him, or at least tried to, but he remained still, his own hands holding you tighter, as if fearing you would escape. You struggled, but it was futile. He was stronger, and you didn’t have the energy to fight against his grip or the storm of emotions consuming you.

"I loved you," you continued, the words coming out in broken sobs. "I still love... And that wasn’t enough, was it? I gave up everything for you, and you... you..."

But the words were lost in the crying. Your voice disappeared, but the tears kept coming, hot and relentless, soaking the fabric of his shirt as you collapsed. Alexei still hadn’t said anything. He didn’t try to explain, didn’t try to justify. He just held you, pressing your face against the top of your head, his lips touching your forehead in a gesture that seemed desperate.

"Why don’t you say anything?" you murmured, your voice weak and hesitant, mixed with the sobs. "Say something, Alexei... Please..."

But he couldn’t. His hands held you as if he could keep you whole with just his touch. His breathing was irregular, almost as frantic as yours. He seemed as lost as you, as incapable of dealing with what was happening as you were.

Eventually, his strength gave out. The crying subsided, the sobs becoming more spaced out until exhaustion overtook you. You stopped trying to pull away, stopped fighting against his grip. Your body went limp in his arms, exhausted, defeated.

Alexei remained there, holding you as if he could rebuild everything with the strength of his embrace, as if he could erase the pain with his closeness. But the space between you, invisible and overwhelming, seemed to grow with each passing second. Your breath, once broken by crying, was now just a tired whisper against his chest.

He finally loosened his grip, just enough to look at you. His eyes, so familiar, were now filled with a weight you had never seen before — something almost unbearable to face. He raised one hand, hesitantly, to touch your face, but you turned away slightly, pulling back in a way almost imperceptible. It was enough for him to freeze.

"Please," you whispered, your voice hoarse and broken, barely more than a thread of sound. "Please, Alexei, go away."

His eyes widened slightly, as if your words had hit him hard. He opened his mouth, perhaps to say something, to protest, but the silence in the room seemed to swallow any attempt.

"I can't..." He stopped, his voice faltering. "I can't leave you like this."

You turned your gaze away, unable to bear the way he looked so desperate, so lost. "I can't sleep with you here tonight. Not like this," you admitted, feeling each word tear at you like glass as it left your mouth. "Please, Alexei. Just... just go."

He took a step back, as if the words had physically pushed him away. The pain on his face was evident, as if you had taken something essential from him. He looked at you with a mix of disbelief and anguish, before slowly shaking his head.

"You can't push me away like this," he murmured, his eyes shining with torment he couldn’t hide. "We never... we never sleep apart."

You closed your eyes tightly, trying to ignore the tremor in his voice, the weight of the memories those words brought. "I know," you replied, your voice barely audible. "But tonight... I need it. I need space, Alexei."

For a moment, he seemed about to argue, to take another step toward you. But then he saw something in your eyes — something that made him stop. The pain you were feeling was there, raw and open, impossible to ignore. And seeing it, something inside him seemed to break.

He stepped closer one last time, hesitantly, as if each movement was a battle. "I..." His voice faltered, and he swallowed hard. "I never meant to hurt you. Never."

You didn’t respond. Not because you had nothing to say, but because you were too broken to find the words.

When he raised his hand, this time to touch your cheek, you instinctively pulled back. It was subtle, but enough for him to notice. The pain in his eyes turned into something deeper — pure despair, as if that small gesture had taken away any ground he still had left.

"I will," he finally said, his voice low and rough, each word weighed down with something that felt like a ton. "But that doesn’t mean I’m not here. I... I’m not going anywhere, understood?"

You just nodded, not meeting his eyes, your body still tense with the weight of everything that had happened that night.

Alexei stood still for another moment, as if trying to memorize the moment, or perhaps gathering the courage to leave. When he finally turned, the sound of the door opening and closing behind him was both a relief and a final blow.

You stayed there, alone in the room, the silence once again filled only by the sound of your irregular breathing. And for the first time in a long time, the bed felt immense, cold, and empty.

The night was an endless torment. The silence of the room felt larger than any physical space, filled only by the echo of what had happened. You stayed sitting at the edge of the bed, staring into the emptiness, unable to lie down on the surface that still held his warmth. The feeling of Alexei’s absence was suffocating, but the thought of sharing the same space with him again so soon was even more unbearable.

The minutes dragged on until they became hours. Every sound in the house seemed amplified: the distant creaking of wood, the rustling of the wind against the windows, the occasional footsteps of someone downstairs.

When morning finally began to break the sky, painting the room with a gray, hesitant light, you heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps in the hallway. Slowly, almost hesitantly, they approached the door. The knock was soft, almost restrained, but still it echoed like thunder in your chest.

"I'm leaving," his voice came through the wood, low and hoarse, carrying a weight that seemed to suffocate every word. "Please... take care of yourself."

You remained silent. Every part of you screamed to respond, to open the door, but the pain weighed heavier. Silence became your only answer. On the other side, you heard a nearly imperceptible sigh, and then the footsteps receded. When the front door closed, the sound reverberated through the house like a final warning, leaving everything even emptier.

When you finally found the strength to leave the room, the sun was higher, casting a soft glow over the halls of the house, but you didn’t feel any warmth. The cold seemed to have settled inside you, a constant weight that made each movement feel like a Herculean task.

Little Natasha was in the living room, playing with a set of dolls, her face illuminated by the innocence you knew you should protect at all costs. But at that moment, even before she looked up at you, something changed in her expression.

"Good morning, Mommy," she said, her sweet, hesitant little voice.

You forced a smile, but it felt as if every muscle in your face was being pulled against your will. "Good morning, my love."

She put down the dolls and ran to you, her small arms wrapping around your legs. It was such a simple, genuine gesture that it made something inside you break again. You bent down and held her, squeezing her to your chest as if she were your anchor.

"Are you sad?" Natasha asked, her voice muffled against your shoulder.

"No, my angel," you replied, but the hoarseness in your voice was deceitful. "Mommy is just a little tired."

Natasha pulled away slightly, her blue eyes — so incredibly similar to Alexei’s — locking onto yours. They were curious, deep in a way that seemed impossible for someone so small.

"You look sad," she insisted, her little fingers reaching up to touch your face, as if she could wipe away a tear that hadn’t even fallen yet.

You held her tiny hand, squeezing it gently. "Mommy is fine, I promise," you said, but the lie was so fragile that it felt like it could shatter at any moment.

She didn’t respond, only nestling back into your arms. You closed your eyes, inhaling the soft scent of her hair, and allowed yourself to simply feel the moment. But even in that tenderness, there was a throbbing pain.

Natasha was a living reminder of Alexei. Every feature of hers — the eyes, the soft hair, the curious expression — was a painful reflection of the man you loved, but who now seemed so distant. With each glance at her, you were reminded of what was at risk, of what seemed to be crumbling beneath your feet.

You held your daughter a little tighter, trying to find comfort in that closeness. But the pain was there, persistent and unbearable, like a shadow you couldn’t shake off.

The attraction to Anna had been as unexpected as it was unsettling. It wasn’t something Alexei had sought or even desired, but there was something about her that seemed to challenge every fiber of his sensibility. She was enigmatic in a way that eluded him, a vibrant presence amid the salons and social gatherings that otherwise seemed so monotonous. Her beauty was undeniable, but that wasn’t what fascinated him. It was the way she seemed to exist in her own world, as if she were always one step ahead of the expectations society imposed on them.

In the early casual encounters, he had thought it was just a passing curiosity, an innocuous distraction. But as the months dragged on and the absence of his wife was felt more acutely, Anna became a beacon of something undefinable, something he couldn’t ignore. They never crossed any lines. Not a touch, not a kiss. But the long conversations, the glances that lasted a second longer than allowed, were enough to create a chasm of doubt within him.

Now, looking back, Alexei hated himself for letting it happen. It was a betrayal not only to his wife but to everything they had built together. He couldn’t deny that the distance between them during her absence had fed something dark. With her gone, the days had become unbearably empty. Her absence was a constant echo that resonated in every corner of the house, and he, in his weakness, had sought comfort in a presence that should have meant nothing.

But Anna wasn’t his wife. She wasn’t the woman who had shared his fears, his dreams, his life. She wasn’t the mother of his daughter, the companion he had sworn to protect above all. And now, in the present, the price of that weakness was almost unbearable.

The days since the ball had been torture. She avoided him with an almost supernatural skill, and he couldn’t blame her for that. All he knew about her came from the servants, who neutrally mentioned the places she was or the hours she spent with Natasha. He didn’t see her, and it was killing him.

That morning, while holding his daughter in his arms, Alexei felt an almost suffocating despair. Natasha, with her silky hair and eyes so incredibly like his, was a reminder of everything he could lose. She nestled against his chest with unwavering trust, her small fingers clutching his collar as she murmured something about playing in the garden. He ran his fingers through her hair, trying to find some peace in that moment, but the guilt was overwhelming.

“How could I do this?” he whispered, more to himself than to anyone else. His wife’s face came to mind, not the hardened look from the ball, but the way she used to smile at him when she thought no one was watching. The memory was so painful it almost made him lose his balance.

His mother had warned him countless times, her words as sharp as they were precise. He still remembered her stern tone during a recent argument, one of the few moments when she had truly lost her patience with him.

“Anna is not for you, Alexei,” she had said, her eyes flashing with something bordering on disdain. “Your wife deserves more. Your daughter deserves more. And you... you should be ashamed.”

He had stormed out of that conversation furious, but now he understood the weight of her words. He was ashamed. Deeply. And the worst part was knowing that, no matter how hard he tried, there was no way to go back in time and undo the damage he had caused.

Natasha, sensing the tension in his body, lifted her face to look at him, and her innocent gaze completely disarmed him. She was so small, so confident that her father was the best man in the world. He felt a sharp pang of desperation as he realized that, if he continued like this, he might lose that too.

Alexei couldn’t take it anymore. The silence that once was an almost invisible wall between you two now felt like an impenetrable barrier. He saw the servants walking through the halls, casting furtive glances of pity and caution, bringing scarce news about you. “She’s still in the room, sir,” they would say. “She hasn’t eaten anything again today.” Every word was a stab, and that morning was no different. When the maid returned with the untouched tray, Alexei felt something inside him break.

Without a word, he took the tray from her hands and climbed the stairs, his heavy footsteps echoing through the house. The door to the room you used to share was closed, and for a moment, he hesitated. Since that night, he hadn’t crossed that threshold. He hadn’t dared. But now, he had no choice.

Pushing the door open, he found you sitting in front of the vanity, impeccable as always, but so different. The dress perfectly aligned, your hair styled with perfection. Not a strand out of place. But what hit him the most was the absence. The absence of color in your face. The absence of the sparkle in your eyes. And the absence of any trace of the love he used to feel, even without you needing to say it.

“You need to eat.” His voice came out harsher than he intended. He placed the tray on the small table next to the bed, watching you through the reflection in the mirror. “If you keep going like this, you’ll end up sick.”

You didn’t respond, your fingers busy with a small brooch pinning your collar. The silence that followed was suffocating, until your voice cut through the air like a blade: “Alexei, I want a divorce.”

“Please,” he said, his voice hoarse, almost inaudible at first. Then, stronger, more desperate. “Please, don’t do this. Don’t say that. No…”

You remained firm, your eyes fixed on him, but the trembling line of your lips betrayed the colossal effort you were making to keep your composure.

“Alexei…” your voice was low, almost a whisper, but the weight of what you said was like a direct blow. “I can’t anymore… I just can’t.”

“But you love me.” He said it like a prayer, as if repeating those words could undo everything that was happening. He stepped forward, his eyes pleading, shining with a desperation he could barely contain. “You said you loved me. You still love me.”

“I love you.” Your confession came quickly, but as harsh as a blade. “And you know that. But it wasn’t enough, Alexei. It was never enough.”

He fell to his knees in front of you, his chin trembling, his hands outstretched toward you as if begging for his very life. “Then what do I do?” He asked, his voice breaking. “Tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix this. I’ll do anything, anything you ask. But don’t ask me to let you go. Please, I can’t…”

You turned your gaze away, but he saw the tears threatening to spill, even as you held them back with all your might. “I don’t know if there’s anything to fix.” Your voice faltered, but you quickly regained composure, lifting your chin. “I don’t know who we are anymore, Alexei.”

“We are us.” He almost shouted, desperation taking over him. “We are us! No matter what happens, we are us. I can’t... I can’t imagine my life without you. Without Natasha. I can’t bear that.”

“And I can’t bear being with someone who destroyed me like this.” Your tone was firm, but the pain you felt was as evident as his. You saw him close his eyes tightly, as if trying to push away the weight of your words, but they had already lodged themselves in him like splinters.

"Please." He reached out again, this time gently holding your arm, his touch trembling, almost reverent. "Please, don't do this. Tell me what I need to do to fix this. Tell me... anything."

You finally looked at him, and his eyes were so full of desperation that for a moment, something inside you wavered. "I need time." Your voice broke, and you hated how much saying that hurt. "I need time, Alexei. I can't even think straight with you like this. With us like this."

He slowly shook his head, as if he didn’t want to accept it. "Time?" He asked, the word coming out like a sentence. "I can give you time, but... what if you decide you don’t want to come back to me? What if you decide that... it's over?"

You took a deep breath, the tears you were trying to hold back finally streaming silently down your face. "I don’t know, Alexei. I don’t know."

The room fell into unbearable silence, broken only by the uneven sound of his breathing and your stifled sobs. Finally, he stood up, his hands trembling, his eyes red. "I’ll wait." His declaration was low, but carried a firmness that seemed impossible given his state. "I’ll wait as long as it takes. But don’t give up on us."

You didn’t answer, unable to find the words. And as he left the room, the door closing softly behind him, you collapsed to the floor, feeling as if every part of you was falling apart.

In the days that followed, Alexei’s absence in the room was like a constant shadow, a gap you didn’t know how to fill. He had respected your decision for space, yes, but he wasn’t truly absent. It was impossible to ignore the small gestures that betrayed him: a tray of tea and biscuits appearing on your table, accompanied by a short but warm note. “At least this,” the latest one said, with slanted handwriting and a palpable care.

The servants didn’t comment, but you knew. You knew he asked about your meals, about your health, about anything that could ease the guilt he carried. He was present in a discreet way, almost invisible, but so tangible that you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was always near, still caring, still watching.

Alexei’s mother’s visit came without warning, on a gray morning, when the heavy clouds outside mirrored the weight you carried in your chest. The maid announced her presence, and you felt your stomach churn. Though there was respect between you two, Mrs. Vronsky had always been an imposing figure, surrounded by a natural authority that seemed to demand reverence.

You hesitated before going downstairs to meet her, but you didn’t have the strength to refuse. Deep down, you knew this conversation was inevitable.

When you entered the room, Alexei’s mother was already there, sitting impeccably in one of the armchairs, her heavy coat carefully folded beside her. She raised her gaze as soon as you entered, and for a moment, something in her eyes seemed to soften.

“You’re so thin,” was the first thing she said, instead of a greeting, her tone direct but filled with concern.

“I’m fine,” you replied, your voice soft but firm.

“No, you’re not.” Her response was immediate, with no room for debate. She gestured for you to sit, and when you did, the silence that followed was as thick as the cold morning air.

Mrs. Vronsky wasn’t a woman who minced words, and you knew she was there for a reason. Still, it was you who broke the silence. “Why are you here?”

“For you,” she said simply, her eyes fixed on yours. “And for Alexei.”

You clenched your hands in your lap, trying to maintain composure. “If you came to defend him, know that you don’t have to. He’s already done that on his own.”

His mother slightly tilted her head, as if weighing her words before responding. “I didn’t come to defend him. I came to listen to you. Do you think I don’t know what’s going on in this house? That I don’t see the pain in both of your eyes?”

The mention of pain stung like a sharp needle. You looked away, staring at the floor, but her voice continued, firm and soft. “I never supported Alexei’s involvement with Anna. I made that clear from the start. Not because she’s married, but because I knew something like this wouldn’t end well. My son has always had this weakness... this tendency to be captivated by the new, the different. It’s part of who he is. But I also know he’s a man who loves deeply. When he loves, he gives himself completely.”

You raised your eyes to her, and there was something there, a mixture of hope and desperation that you couldn’t hide. “And what guarantees me that this love will be enough?”

“I can’t guarantee,” she admitted, her words direct but without cruelty. “But I can say that, since you entered his life, Alexei has changed. He found balance in you. I saw it with my own eyes. And I know that, even with the mistakes he’s made, the love he feels for you is real. I know that you still love him.”

Your heart tightened, and for a moment, you almost wanted to deny it. But what would be the point? “Loving doesn’t seem like enough,” you murmured, more to yourself than to her.

“Maybe it’s not,” Alexei’s mother replied, leaning slightly forward, her hands resting on her knees. “But sometimes, love is what gives you the strength to find a way, even if it’s painful. I’m not here to ask you to forgive my son. I’m here to tell you that, whatever your decision is, you won’t be alone.”

The sincerity in her words hit you like an unexpected blow, and you felt your eyes burn. But no tear fell. “I don’t know if I can get over this. Sometimes, it feels like the distance between us is insurmountable.”

“The distance is great,” she agreed. “But you’re speaking as if he’s on the other side of an abyss. He’s not. Alexei is trying to reach you, even if awkwardly. Don’t you see that?”

You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to control the emotions threatening to overflow. “I see. But every gesture of his just reminds me of everything that’s been lost.”

Alexei’s mother nodded, her gaze softer than you’d ever seen. “That’s natural. But I also want you to know that you’re important to me. Not just as my son’s wife, but as the woman who made his life better. If you decide that you can’t continue, I’ll understand. And even then, you’ll still be part of my family. Always.”

Those words broke something inside you, but they also brought a small relief. You stood up, and she did the same, holding your hand firmly for a moment before letting it go.

“Thank you,” was all you could say.

“Take care of yourself,” she replied, her voice carrying an unexpected gentleness.

Later, as you walked down the hallway, you heard Natasha’s laughter echoing through the house. Peeking through the slightly open door, you saw Alexei sitting on the floor, holding the little one in his arms, her golden hair shining in the light coming through the window. Your chest tightened painfully. It was impossible to deny how much Natasha looked like her father — in her features, her smile, even in the way she seemed to light up the room.

You stayed there for a few seconds, watching. Alexei could hardly believe it when he lifted his eyes and saw you standing there, at the door, your gaze fixed on him and little Natasha. For a moment, he froze, as if any movement could shatter that fragile moment. The weight in your eyes hit him like a punch, and for a second, he wondered if he should call you, ask you to join them.

But before he could even open his mouth, you looked away and disappeared, leaving the door slightly ajar. The absence was an immediate emptiness, a cold that spread through him even with Natasha still nestled in his arms.

“Daddy?” The sweet, small voice of his daughter broke the silence. Natasha tilted her head to look at him, her golden curls falling over her forehead. “Who was there? Was it Mommy?”

Alexei swallowed hard, trying to hide the tightness in his chest. He adjusted Natasha in his arms, snuggling her close. “It was, my little one. But... Mommy had to go.”

“Doesn’t she want to play with us?” Natasha asked, her big, bright eyes searching for an explanation.

Alexei closed his eyes for a moment, trying to gather his strength. How could he explain something that he himself didn’t fully understand? How could he justify the choices that had led them to this point?

“It’s not that, sweetheart. Mommy is... tired. And sometimes, when we’re tired, we need some time to rest alone.”

Natasha furrowed her brow, clearly thinking about the answer. “But Mommy told me she loves us. She still loves you, doesn’t she?”

Those words, so simple and direct, pierced Alexei. He took a deep breath, feeling the weight of it all on his shoulders. “Yes,” he finally replied, his voice low and hoarse. “Mommy loves you very much. And I’m sure she still loves Daddy too.”

“Then why don’t you stay together? Grandma said that love makes everything better.”

He felt his stomach twist when he heard the mention of his mother. Her visit was still fresh in his mind, a reminder of how much he had failed — not just with you, but with himself. She hadn’t spared any words, and the silent disapproval in her gaze still burned in his memory.

“Because Daddy made a mistake,” Alexei finally said, choosing his words carefully. “And sometimes, even when you love someone, you need to show that you can get better before things get better.”

“Will you get better, Daddy?” Natasha asked, her little fingers touching his face as if she wanted to make sure he was paying attention.

“I will,” Alexei replied, his tone now firm. “I promise you, Natasha, that I will fix things. I’ll do everything I can to bring Mommy back to us.”

“Can I help?” Natasha smiled, as if the simple thought of being helpful could solve any problem.

Alexei chuckled softly, kissing her forehead. “Your help already means everything to me, little one. Just having you here with me gives me strength.”

He hugged her tighter, letting that moment between father and daughter carve itself into his memory. Meanwhile, behind the affection he shared with Natasha, Alexei felt the weight of a decision solidifying. He knew he couldn’t allow himself to fail again. He couldn’t disappoint you, or himself, or that little creature who looked at him with so much love and trust.

When Natasha finally got distracted with one of her toys, Alexei stayed there, silently watching her. His conversation with his mother echoed in his mind, every word heavy with meaning. He felt ashamed, crushed by the realization that he had ignored advice and gut feelings that could have prevented all this pain.

But the shame wasn’t enough to paralyze him. It was a flame, something he would use to fuel his determination. Alexei knew the road to you would be difficult, painful. But looking at Natasha, so much like you and so full of life, he found a new resolution.

He didn’t just want to fix things — he needed to. And he would do it, no matter how much time or effort it took.

The change didn’t happen all at once, but it was like spring after a long winter. Alexei didn’t let a single day pass without trying, without showing how much he was willing to repair the mistakes that had brought so much pain.

He started with simple gestures. Your favorite tea left on your desk. A fresh rose picked from the garden, carefully placed in your room. He would stop in front of closed doors, hesitating, but not knocking, respecting the space you had asked for, yet unable to stop leaving something, no matter how small, to let you know he was there.

Over time, he began to include Natasha in his attempts, inviting both of you to join him for a walk in the garden or for a special snack. And although you still didn’t join him, he noticed that the coldness from before was fading, replaced by something more neutral. More human.

The maids would mention that you were starting to eat normally again, that the pallor that marked your face had begun to give way to its natural color. Alexei saw this too, in brief glimpses — a soft curve at the corner of your lips when Natasha said something funny, a distant look, but less painful, when you thought no one was watching.

And then, that night, fate brought the opportunity he had been waiting for.

The storm had started earlier, with thunder echoing in the distance and gusts of wind blowing through the windows. Alexei was in the living room when he heard the door open, and before he even turned around, he knew it was you.

You entered the hall, your hair drenched and stuck to your face, the dress weighed down with water. He immediately got up, his heart racing at the sight of you like that.

"My God, you're completely soaked." His voice was low but full of urgency as he approached. You hesitated for a moment, as if considering pulling back, but eventually allowed him to come closer.

Alexei grabbed a wool shawl from a nearby chair and gently wrapped it around your shoulders. "Come. Let’s get these clothes off before you get sick."

His tone was practical, almost automatic, but there was something in his movements — the way his fingers trembled slightly as he adjusted the fabric over you, the care he took to avoid looking directly into your eyes — that betrayed the depth of his feelings.

You followed him to the bedroom, your steps light and almost silent on the carpet. The tension was palpable, an almost visible thread between you both. He gestured for you to sit in the chair near the fireplace. You did, your eyes fixed on the flames as he moved around the room, grabbing clean towels.

Without saying a word, he knelt before you, gently removing the pins that held your hair with firm, yet tender fingers. Each pin made a soft metallic sound as it fell onto the towel he had spread across his lap. You didn’t pull away.

Alexei then stood up, hesitating for a moment before reaching for the ties on your dress. He paused, looking at you for permission. You nodded slightly, enough for him to continue.

The knots loosened slowly, and the sound of the wet fabric coming undone seemed to fill the room. He helped you stand and wrapped a dry robe around your shoulders before stepping back, giving you space to sit again.

When he finally spoke, his voice was almost a whisper. "I’m so sorry."

You lifted your eyes to him, something shining there that he couldn’t decipher. “What about her?”

Alexei froze. For a moment, it seemed as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. “Anna?”

You nodded, your expression still unshaken, but the tension in your shoulders betrayed the effort you were making to stay strong.

“It was nothing,” he said finally, his eyes searching yours as if he wanted to beg you to believe him. “Nothing that justified... nothing that was worth this.”

“And why?” Your voice was soft, but cutting, like a blade piercing straight through his heart. “Why her? What did she have that I didn’t?”

Alexei ran a hand through his hair, clearly distressed. “I don’t know. She was... different. Something new, something I had never known. But it wasn’t love, it wasn’t... you.” He knelt in front of you again, his hands gripping yours tightly, but without hurting you. “Nothing ever came close to you. I was a fool for letting this come so close.”

You looked at him, your face still unreadable, but your eyes starting to shine. “What if I had stayed away longer? What if it were someone else, Alexei? How can I trust that this won’t happen again?”

Alexei remained kneeling in front of you, his eyes glowing with a desperation that seemed to suck the air out of the room. He didn’t move, neither closer nor farther, as if even the slightest shift could break the fragile connection that still existed between you.

“You are everything to me,” he repeated, his voice heavy with raw vulnerability. “But I know that just saying that isn’t enough. I know I can’t erase what I did, the pain I caused.”

You didn’t answer immediately. Your mind was in turmoil, each of his words crashing against the walls of your own pain, echoing. Finally, almost in a whisper, you asked, “Did you... did you two ever...”

Your voice faltered before you could finish the sentence, but the meaning was clear. Alexei’s eyes widened, as if the question had cut deeper than anything else. He shook his head quickly, almost frantic.

“No,” he said firmly, his voice a little louder, but still choked. “Never. I never did that. I never even kissed her.” He swallowed hard, lowering his gaze for a moment before meeting your eyes again. “I was a fool, a complete idiot for letting her occupy so much space in my head, but it wasn’t... physical. It wasn’t love. It was... it was a weakness of mine, a fascination with something I didn’t even know I was seeking. And I hate myself for it. I hate myself for hurting you this way.”

You felt the weight of every word, the warmth of his sincerity reaching something deep within you, but the pain was still there, alive and pulsing.

Alexei leaned in slightly, his hands still holding yours, but loosely, as if preparing for the inevitable moment when you would pull away. “I’d give anything to go back in time, to make the right choices from the start. To never have allowed anything to come between us. But all I can do now is this. Ask, beg for a chance to be better for you.”

His eyes shone, tears threatening to fall, but he didn’t look away, as if he couldn’t allow himself to hide anything from you. When he finally moved, it was to wrap his arms around your waist, a hesitant, almost fearful gesture.

“Please,” he whispered against the fabric of the robe you were wearing. “Please, tell me there’s still something in your heart that will let me fix this.”

You stood still, your body rigid as if you were trying to decide what to do. He didn’t dare move any further, his face hidden against you, breathing deeply as if it were the last time he could do so.

And then, almost imperceptibly, you raised your hand, your fingers hesitantly touching his hair. It was a small gesture, but to Alexei, it felt as though the whole world had stopped. He lifted his face, surprised, but didn’t say anything.

Your fingers threaded through his blonde hair, the touch soft, but steady, and something in him gave way. He closed his eyes, resting his forehead against your stomach as he let out a sigh that sounded almost like a sob.

“I don’t know what to do,” you admitted, your voice low but filled with emotion. “I don’t know how to get past this, Alexei. But... I can’t stop loving you.”

He lifted his gaze to you, his eyes misty, but with a spark of hope. “I don’t need you to know right now,” he said, his voice trembling. “I just need you to let me try. Let me prove that I will never disappoint you again.”

The silence that followed was thick, but not empty. It was full of all the unspoken things, all the emotions that still needed room to exist between you.

Finally, you nodded slightly, the gesture almost imperceptible, but enough for him to understand. He didn’t smile, as if he knew there was still no room for joy, but the tension in his shoulders eased, and he held you more firmly in his arms without hurting you.

“Thank you,” he murmured, so softly that you almost didn’t hear it, but the weight of that word hung in the air between you, carrying all the love, regret, and promise he had to offer.

The night was calm, wrapped in a stillness broken only by the soft sound of rain against the windows. You were in Natasha’s room, the little one’s hair illuminated by the warm light of the lamp. She was lying on the bed, hugging the battered teddy bear she insisted on carrying everywhere.

“Now close your eyes, my love,” you said, your voice low and gentle as you adjusted the blanket around her small body. “It’s time to sleep.”

“Will you sing for me?” she asked, her eyes, identical to Alexei’s, shining with expectation.

You smiled, a small but genuine smile, as you began to hum a melody your mother used to sing to you. Her little hand held yours, as if that gesture were essential to the moment.

The door creaked softly as it opened, and Alexei stopped in the doorway, his tall figure illuminated by the hallway light. He hesitated when he saw her there, his eyes resting on the scene with an expression of tenderness so raw that it seemed to contradict the strength of his presence.

For a moment, he considered turning back, letting that moment belong only to the two of you. But then Natasha turned her head, her sleep-messy hair spreading across the pillow.

“Daddy,” she called, a sleepy smile lighting up her face. “Are you going to put me to sleep too?”

Her request was an unexpected bridge between the two of you. Alexei looked at you, a silent question in his clear eyes, the same ones Natasha had inherited. There was something so vulnerable in his gaze that the air seemed to grow a little heavier.

You nodded almost imperceptibly, making space beside the bed. He stepped into the room, each movement carrying a rare hesitation from him. When he approached, Natasha reached out her arms, and he leaned in to kiss her forehead before sitting beside the bed, opposite you.

“Now we’re all here,” she said, content, holding both of your hands.

“Does that mean you’re going to sleep for real now?” Alexei asked, his tone soft but tinged with amusement.

She shook her head, a mischievous smile appearing. “But I like when you’re both here with me. Daddy, mommy...”

The sound of that word hit him like a sweet blow. Mommy. It was simple, but hearing it from his daughter’s lips, in the context of that intimate scene, felt like a reminder of everything he was trying to protect.

Natasha shifted between you, her eyes slowly closing as she mumbled random words about the day. “I want a brother,” she murmured suddenly, her eyes blinking lazily before closing again.

Alexei let out a soft laugh, surprised, and looked at you. “A brother, huh?”

“Yes,” Natasha answered with a yawn, her eyes already closed. “To play with me.”

You and Alexei exchanged a glance, his expression softening in a way that rarely happened. When she finally fell asleep, her breath light and steady, he carefully adjusted her in the bed, leaving a kiss on the top of her head before standing up.

He moved closer to you, extending his hand to help you rise. You accepted, and he didn’t immediately release your hand, holding it between his as if afraid that the moment might slip away.

“She’s just like you,” you commented, your voice low as you looked at Natasha.

“No,” he replied, his eyes fixed on the small, sleeping face. “She’s the best of both of us.”

There was a comfortable silence between you, the usual tension replaced by something softer, more hopeful. He looked at you, his clear eyes carrying a tenderness that seemed almost shy.

“About what she said…” he started, hesitating for a moment.

“Alexei,” you interrupted, your tone almost exasperated but with a small smile.

“I know, I know,” he said, raising his hands in surrender, but his smile was back, something rare and so genuine that it made your heart ache.

The door to Natasha’s room closed softly, muffling the sound of her calm breathing. You and Alexei stayed in the hallway for a moment, as if the moment required silence, a reverence for the scene you had just shared. He seemed to hesitate, his hands sliding into the pockets of his suit jacket, a nervous gesture you knew well.

“She’s always known how to disarm us,” you commented, breaking the silence, your voice low but full of tenderness.

He looked at you, the corners of his lips curving into a nearly shy smile. “It’s an innate talent. I don’t think she got that from me.”

“Maybe from me, then,” you replied, your tone playful, something he hadn’t heard in a long time.

His smile widened, but there was something deeper in his eyes, something that kept him quiet for too long. You were about to ask what he was thinking when he turned slightly, his body leaning as though about to leave.

“Alexei.”

He stopped immediately, turning to face you again. You took a deep breath, gathering the words you wanted to say.

“You don’t have to go back to the other room,” you said, your voice soft but carrying something more. “If you want... you can come back to our room.”

The words came out before you could reconsider, and for a moment, the silence in the hallway seemed absolute. Alexei blinked, disbelief written on his face, as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard you correctly.

“Is that what you want?” he asked, his voice so low it was barely a whisper.

You looked at him for a moment, your eyes searching his, which seemed to scan every nuance of your expression. “It’s a step, Alexei,” you replied, sincere. “I think we’re ready to take a step.”

He let out a breath that seemed to have been held for a long time, his shoulders relaxing a bit. “I...” He stopped, shaking his head as if the words were too difficult.

“And besides,” you continued, your voice light but carrying something almost mischievous, “if we really want to give Natasha a sibling, I think it makes more sense for us to be in the same room, don’t you think?”

His eyes widened, surprised, and for a moment, he stood completely still, as if the words had been a shock he hadn’t expected.

“You...” He started but didn’t finish, his gaze fixed on your face as if trying to process the subtle, but significant change.

You raised an eyebrow, the playful look returning to your expression, something he immediately recognized. “It’s just a practical matter,” you finished, your voice slightly provocative.

He stepped forward, the hesitation giving way to something more determined, his gaze intense and fixed on yours. “Practical,” he repeated, as if testing the word.

The air around you seemed to carry a familiar tension, something that had always been there but now felt more tangible, more urgent. You saw the shadow of a smile play at the corners of his lips, and you couldn’t resist.

“You’re taking this very seriously, Alexei,” you teased, your voice lower now, only to be interrupted.

He leaned in, his lips meeting yours with an intensity that made your heart race. The kiss was both tender and desperate, as if he were pouring everything he couldn’t say into words. Your hands went to his shoulders, a gesture to steady yourself, but instead of pushing him away, you pulled him closer, allowing yourself to finally give in to the moment.

When you pulled apart, your breaths were shallow, and Alexei kept his forehead pressed to yours. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this,” he murmured, his voice hoarse, full of emotion.

The night seemed silent, the kind of silence that embraced the house like a heavy blanket, protecting the sounds that belonged only to that space. The room you once shared was almost exactly as before, but something felt different now. It was the same space, but it carried the weight of everything you had lived through—and survived.

Alexei was sitting at the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, watching you as you took off your robe and prepared to lie down. His gaze was intense, but not unsettling. It was a gaze of reverence, as if he couldn’t believe he was here again.

“It’s strange, isn’t it?” you asked, breaking the silence, your voice soft but full of emotion.

He looked up at you, a small smile appearing on his lips. “Strange... and familiar at the same time.”

You moved closer slowly, feeling the warmth radiating from him even before you sat down beside him. For a moment, you stayed there, side by side, your hands almost touching. The small space between you seemed heavy, but also filled with something new—hope.

“I thought about this so much,” he murmured, turning slightly to face you. “About what it would be like... having you here again. Being with you like this.”

“And how is it?” you asked, your playful tone trying to mask the vulnerability behind the question.

He chuckled softly, but there was a gleam in his eyes, something deeply sincere. “It’s better than I allowed myself to imagine.”

You felt your heart tighten, but it was a different kind of tightness now, something less painful and closer to healing. You reached out to him, your fingers touching his gently. He intertwined his fingers with yours, the gesture so familiar it brought tears to your eyes.

“Alexei...” you started, but he interrupted you, his eyes fixed on yours.

“I know,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “I know it will take time. That this is just the beginning. But please, tell me there’s a beginning.”

You nodded, feeling your throat tighten with emotion. “There’s a beginning,” you replied, your voice almost a whisper.

He leaned forward, his forehead touching yours, and the world seemed to shrink to that moment, to that touch. “I won’t fail you again,” he promised, his voice heavy with something so deep that it made your eyes well up with tears.

“I know,” you said, the sincerity of your voice making him close his eyes for a moment, as if he were absorbing it.

You both moved together to lie down, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. When Alexei pulled the covers over you, he did it with the same care as always, as if every small gesture had meaning. You curled up next to him, his body fitting to yours as if it had never stopped being like that.

He ran his fingers through your hair, untangling the strands that had come loose throughout the day, the movements slow and almost reverent. “I feel like I’m holding a piece of the future in my hands,” he murmured, almost to himself.

“And what do you see in that future, Alexei?” you asked, lifting your gaze to meet his.

He smiled, the kind of smile that made your heart tighten with both longing and hope at the same time. “I see us. Natasha... maybe a little brother for her, if you still want,” he added, his tone lightly teasing, but his eyes shining with tenderness.

You laughed, a light and almost new sound. “Maybe,” you replied, teasing. “But one step at a time, right?”

He leaned in, his lips brushing your forehead in a gesture that seemed to carry all the promises in the world. “Right,” he agreed, his voice soft and full of emotion.

Silence fell again, but it was a different silence now. It was a silence of peace, of new beginnings. And as you curled even closer, your hearts beating in a slow, synchronized rhythm, you knew you were finally finding your way back to each other.

[wchswift]

ଓ Home for the Holidays

Pairing: Logan Howlett x latina!fem!reader Summary: you're finally dating Logan, and this year for Christmas, your family, not very mutant-friendly, invites you and Logan to the holiday. Content: fluff, a lot of feelings, slightly angst, established relationship, complicated parents but they redeem themselves, not proofread, English isn’t my first language :) Word count: 5k (I got a little carried away) A/N: like I said christmas prompts are all my head has been coming up with lately lol. This one is totally self indulgent... I'm sorry (not really). I really think Logan would get along great with my latin family so this is what I wrote! Merry Christmas to you all!!! 🎄

mdni 𖤐 18+

The world outside was muffled in white. Snow blanketed the grounds of the X-Mansion, smoothing over the jagged chaos that typically defined the lives of its residents. But here, in this room, everything felt still, warm, and safe.

You blinked awake slowly, your cheek resting against the solid plane of Logan’s chest. His steady breathing was a low hum beneath your ear, and the arm he’d slung across your waist anchored you in place, as if he thought you might disappear if he let go.

For a while, you stayed like that, letting the lazy warmth seep into your bones. Mornings like these were rare. Most of your days started with some crisis or other, but the mansion had gone blessedly quiet for the holidays. Even the younger mutants seemed to understand the sanctity of this lull, their usual chatter and chaos replaced with soft laughter and the occasional sound of Christmas music echoing faintly through the halls.

Logan shifted beneath you, his muscles flexing under your cheek as he adjusted his grip. The calloused pads of his fingers traced absentminded circles on your back, a tender gesture you’d come to treasure.

“You’re quiet this morning,” he murmured, his voice rough with sleep. “Something on your mind?”

You smiled, too comfortable to move. “Just appreciating this.” You turned your head slightly, nuzzling against him. “Don’t ruin it by talking too much.”

A low chuckle rumbled in his chest. “Fair enough.”

The quiet stretched out again, the two of you wrapped in the soft cocoon of blankets and each other. You let your thoughts wander, enjoying the rare chance to simply exist without the weight of responsibility pressing down on you.

And then your phone buzzed.

You groaned, burying your face against Logan as the sound shattered the tranquility. “No,” you mumbled. “Not yet.”

Logan reached over to the nightstand, grabbing the offending device without letting you go. “You gonna answer this, or am I tossing it out the window?” he asked, holding it just out of your reach.

You sat up reluctantly, frowning at the screen. The familiar number made your stomach twist, a mix of excitement and apprehension knotting your insides.

“It’s my family,” you said softly.

Logan’s eyebrows lifted slightly, but he didn’t say anything. He just handed you the phone, his steady gaze enough to ground you.

You hesitated, then swiped to answer. “Hello?”

“¡Mija!” Your mother’s voice filled the line, bright and cheerful as ever. “You sound tired. Are you resting enough? Eating well?”

You smiled despite yourself. “Hi, mamá. I’m fine, I promise.”

“Good. Listen, I have some news.” Her tone turned conspiratorial, and you could almost picture her leaning closer, as if you weren’t miles away. “We want you to come home for Christmas. Your papá and I were talking, and it’s been too long since we’ve all been together.”

Your chest tightened. It had been too long. Ever since your powers had manifested, there had been tension, distance. But in recent months, your family had made an effort to mend things, to accept you for who you were. And now, this invitation felt like another step forward.

“I’d love to,” you said after a moment, your voice softer now. “I really would.”

“Good, good. And—” She hesitated, then plowed ahead, her excitement spilling over. “Bring your boyfriend. Logan, right? We want to meet him.”

You froze, your gaze flicking to Logan, who was watching you with mild curiosity. Your mother’s words echoed in your head, and suddenly, the cozy warmth of the room felt stifling.

“Mija? Are you still there?”

“Yeah,” you managed, your throat dry. “I’m here.”

“Well, bring him. And don’t worry—he’s family now, too. We’ll take care of him.”

You swallowed hard, the weight of her words pressing down on you. After a few more pleasantries, you ended the call and set the phone down, your hands trembling slightly.

Logan tilted his head, his dark eyes narrowing. “What was that about?”

“My family,” you said, your voice quieter than you intended. “They want me home for Christmas. They want us home for Christmas.”

His eyebrows lifted again, but there was no hesitation in his response. “All right.”

“All right?” You stared at him, incredulous. “You’re okay with going?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He shrugged, his tone casual, but you could see the flicker of something deeper in his expression. “It’s your family. They’re important to you.”

You bit your lip, looking down at your hands. “I just… I don’t know how they’ll react. I mean, they’ve been better about accepting me, but this is different. And you…” You trailed off, struggling to find the words.

Logan reached for you, his hand warm and solid as it cupped your cheek. “Hey,” he said softly. “Stop overthinking it. If they’ve got a problem with me, that’s their issue, not yours. But if you want me there, I’m there.”

His certainty steadied you, and you leaned into his touch, releasing a shaky breath. “Of course I do! I do want you there. I just—”

“Don’t,” he interrupted gently. “Stop worrying. We’ll figure it out. Together.”

You nodded, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Okay. Together.”

Logan leaned back against the pillows, pulling you with him until you were curled up against his side again. The knot of anxiety in your chest loosened slightly, replaced by a tentative sense of hope for having Logan by your side.

Outside, the snow continued to fall, and for a little while longer, the two of you stayed wrapped in the quiet, preparing for the journey ahead.

When it was no longer possible to extend the moment with Logan, you got up and started your day. Since it was close to Christmas, the mansion was quieter and less crowded, giving you a chance to relax alone for a while.

The snow seemed endless, a quiet ocean blanketing the world outside. From the wide windows of the X-Mansion’s common area, it stretched out in every direction, softening the edges of the landscape until it looked like something out of a dream.

You sat on the arm of the couch, watching the scene unfold with the same stillness it seemed to demand. Logan was a shadow in the corner of the room, leaning casually against the doorframe. His presence was like gravity—solid, constant, something you could always feel even when you weren’t looking.

But now, his gaze was fixed on you, sharp and unwavering.

“You’ve been quiet all morning,” he said, breaking the silence. There was no accusation in his tone, only a quiet observation. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

You sighed, your breath fogging up the window for just a moment before it vanished. “It’s nothing.”

He let out a low hum, the kind that told you he didn’t believe a word of it. He crossed the room in a few steps, coming to stand beside you. His reflection joined yours in the glass, his dark eyes meeting yours in the faint, distorted version of the world.

“Try again,” he said, his voice softer now.

You looked down at your hands, fingers twisting in your lap. “It’s just… the idea of going home, after too long. And bringing you with me.”

His reflection didn’t waver. “You don’t want me to come?”

“No!” The word burst out of you too quickly, and you winced at the sharpness of it. “That’s not it. I already said, course I want you to come, Lo. It’s just—” You hesitated, your thoughts tripping over each other in their rush to the surface. “I don’t know how they’ll be. My family, I mean. They’ve gotten better about… about everything, but it’s still complicated. And you going too—”

You glanced at him, struggling to find the right words. “You’re not exactly… subtle, Logan. You literally have mutant written all over you. You’re like a storm—intense and impossible to ignore. And I love it so much, but my family, they’re…”

He raised an eyebrow, waiting.

“They’re the kind of people who smile through awkward silences and sweep anything messy under the rug,” you finished weakly. “I just—I don’t know if they’ll know what to do with you. And I don’t want them to make you feel like you don’t belong. I don't want them to treat you differently.”

Logan was quiet for a long moment, his gaze still fixed on you. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and steady, like the rumble of distant thunder.

“You think I care what they think?”

You opened your mouth to respond, but he held up a hand to stop you.

“They’re your family,” he said simply. “I’m not going for them. I’m going for you.”

There was something so unshakable about the way he said it, as if the answer was as obvious as the ground beneath his feet.

You let out a shaky laugh, your breath fogging up the glass again. “You make it sound so easy.”

“It is,” he said, and the quiet conviction in his voice made your chest ache. “They don’t have to like me. Hell, they don’t even have to understand me. But if they love you, then they’ll respect the choices you’ve made. And if they don’t—” His reflection smiled faintly, a wry twist of his lips. “Well, they’ll have to deal with me.”

You shook your head, a reluctant smile tugging at your own lips. “You’re impossible.”

“Yeah,” he said, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder. “But I’m yours. That’s all that matters.”

Something in your chest unfurled at his words, the knot of anxiety loosening just enough for you to take a deep breath. You leaned against him, your forehead resting against his shoulder. He smelled faintly of pine and smoke, like the forest itself had come to life and taken human form. It was so comforting.

“Thank you,” you murmured.

“For what?” he asked in a low voice, his hand coming up to rest on the back of your neck.

“For being you.”

He huffed a soft laugh, and you felt his lips brush against your hair. “Don’t go getting all sentimental on me now, sweetheart.”

You laughed, the sound lighter now, like the snowflakes falling outside. For the first time all morning, the weight in your chest didn’t feel quite so heavy.

The road stretched ahead of you like an endless ribbon, winding through snow-draped trees and frozen lakes that glittered faintly in the pale winter sunlight. The hum of the car engine was the only sound for a while, a quiet rhythm that matched the pulse of your thoughts.

Logan drove with one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the center console where his fingers occasionally brushed against yours. It was a casual touch, almost absentminded, but it anchored you to him in a way words never could.

You watched his profile as he drove, the sharp lines of his face softened by the morning light. There was a quiet intensity about him, like a storm that seemed less threatening and more comforting. He was like a force of nature, capable of demolishing obstacles while also providing a protective haven —a force of nature that could tear down walls and shield you from the worst of the world all at once.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked without taking his eyes off the road.

You smiled faintly. “Are they worth that much?”

“Probably more,” he said, his lips twitching into the smallest of smirks. “But that’s all I’ve got on me.”

You laughed softly, the sound easing the tension in your chest. “I was just thinking about how far we’ve come. I mean, from where we started… to this.”

Logan glanced at you, his brow furrowing slightly. “This isn’t just ‘far.’ This is everything.”

His words were so simple, so unshakable, that they left you momentarily speechless. He had a way of doing that—cutting through your overthinking with a clarity that left no room for doubt.

You turned to look out the window, the snow-covered landscape blurring past. “You know, when my powers first showed up, I thought… I thought I’d never have this. A life. Someone like you.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, but you felt his hand move, his fingers intertwining with yours on the console. “Guess I’m lucky you were wrong.”

You blinked, surprised by the softness in his voice. When you looked at him again, his eyes were fixed on the road, but there was something unguarded about his expression—a glimpse of the man behind the claws and the growl.

“Logan…”

He shook his head slightly, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Don’t go getting mushy on me now, sweetheart. We’ve got a long drive ahead.”

You snorted a laugh, leaning back in your seat. The warmth of his hand in yours stayed with you, a quiet reassurance that no matter what waited at the end of this journey, you wouldn’t face it alone.

By the time you pulled into the driveway, the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, painting the sky in shades of pink and gold. Your family’s house was just as you remembered—warm, inviting, and alive with the kind of chaos that only the holidays could bring.

Lights twinkled along the roofline, and the faint sound of music spilled out into the crisp evening air. As Logan helped you with the bags, the front door swung open, and a wave of noise and warmth hit you like a tidal wave.

“¡Cariño! ¡Por fin!” Your mother was the first to greet you, wrapping you in a hug so tight it stole your breath. “I’ve been waiting all day!”

“Mamá,” you managed, laughing as she fussed over you.

And then her attention shifted to Logan. Her eyes softened, though her tone remained brisk. “And this must be Logan.”

He nodded, his posture relaxed but his expression carefully neutral. “Ma’am.”

Your mother’s lips twitched, but she didn’t comment. Instead, she turned to usher you both inside, chattering about the food, the decorations, and how your father was already working on his second plate.

The rest of the family followed in quick succession, a whirlwind of introductions, hugs, and rapid-fire questions. Logan handled it all with a quiet patience that surprised even you, his gruff demeanor softening just enough to put them at ease.

Your younger cousin tugged at his sleeve, wide-eyed. “Are you really Wolverine? Like, claws and everything?”

Logan raised an eyebrow, glancing at you as if to ask, 'Should I?'

You shrugged, trying not to laugh. “Might as well get it over with.”

With a sigh, he extended one hand, the metallic claws sliding out with a faint snikt. Your cousin’s eyes widened further, her jaw dropping.

“Whoa…”

The rest of the family crowded around, their curiosity breaking any lingering tension. Logan didn’t say much, but the faint smirk on his face told you he didn’t mind the attention nearly as much as he pretended to.

As the evening wore on, the chaos began to settle. The smell of food and cinnamon filled the air, and the house hummed with laughter and music. Logan had drifted to a corner of the room, where your father showed him an old photo album.

You watched them from across the room, your heart swelling at the sight of Logan fitting into this world you’d been so afraid to share with him.

“Mija,” your mother said, pulling you aside. Her voice was softer now, her eyes warm. “He’s good for you. I can see it.”

You smiled, your chest tightening with emotion. “He is. More than I ever thought I deserved.”

She cupped your face, her hands warm and familiar. “Don’t ever think that. You deserve everything, and more. I wish I had told you that more often. I'm sorry, nena.”

For the first time in a long while, you believed her.

Dinner had barely ended when the music started, a lively rhythm spilling from the speakers and filling every corner of the house. Chairs were pushed back, plates cleared away, and the living room became an impromptu dance floor.

You watched from the edge of the room, laughing as your cousins dragged reluctant uncles and aunts into the fray. The Christmas lights blinked in time with the beat, casting a kaleidoscope of colors over the scene.

And then you felt a hand on your wrist.

“C’mon,” Logan said, his voice low and warm.

You stared at him, incredulous. “You? Dance?”

He smirked, a glint of mischief in his eyes. “I’ve been around long enough to pick up a thing or two. Don’t make me regret this.”

Before you could protest, he pulled you onto the floor. The music swelled, and for a moment, you forgot the chaos, the noise, everything but the warmth of his hand on yours and the steady strength of his other hand resting lightly on your waist.

He wasn’t perfect—his steps were a little stiff, and his timing faltered now and then—but his confidence made up for it. You couldn’t stop smiling, even as your family whooped and cheered around you.

“Not bad for a grumpy old man,” you teased, your voice just loud enough for him to hear over the music.

“Careful,” he warned, his smirk widening. “We are at your parents' house but if you keep this up, that won't stop me from punishing you." He whispered against your ear for only you to hear, his voice firm but with a hint of humor.

You laughed, the sound pure and unrestrained, and for the first time that night, the weight of your nerves began to lift.

Later, as the music faded into softer melodies and the crowd thinned out, you found yourself in the kitchen, refilling glasses and helping your mother plate desserts.

“That Logan,” she said, her voice thoughtful. “He’s different.”

You froze, unsure of where she was going with this. “Is that… bad?”

She shook her head, her hands deftly arranging cookies on a platter. “No. Just… surprising. He doesn’t talk much, but when he does, you can tell he means every word. And the way he looks at you…” She paused, her gaze softening. “You deserve that kind of love, cariño. The kind that doesn’t waver.”

Your throat tightened, and you turned back to the counter, suddenly very interested in the stack of plates waiting to be carried out. “Thanks, mamá.”

But before you could continue, the sound of approaching footsteps drew your attention. Your aunt appeared in the doorway, her ever-present smile firmly in place.

“There you are!” she said brightly, stepping into the kitchen as though she hadn’t just been eavesdropping. Her gaze flicked between you and your mother, curiosity gleaming in her eyes. “What are we talking about?”

“Logan,” your mother replied, her tone light but guarded.

“Ah,” your aunt said, her smile sharpening at the edges. “He’s… an interesting choice.”

You stiffened, the warmth from your mother’s words quickly fading. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, nothing,” your aunt said breezily, but there was a calculated edge to her voice. She picked up a cookie, examining it as though it were the most fascinating thing in the room. “It’s just—well, a man like that doesn’t seem very… stable.”

Your mother frowned, "Paloma don't start…" she said with a warning tone, but even so, your aunt continued, her tone dripping with faux concern. “No, I just mean, he's a mutant! And with his background—and those claws… He seems a little aggressive too, It must be exhausting, keeping up with someone like him.”

The words hit like a slap, dredging up the old insecurities you’d worked so hard to bury. Your grip on the platter tightened as you struggled to steady your voice. “Don't you dare! You don't know anything about him. Logan is not aggressive, he is a good man, kind and caring.” you said evenly, refusing to rise to her bait.

“Of course, I’m sure he is,” your aunt said, her smile widening. “But he is still a mutant, don’t you think—”

"And my daughter is also a mutant, Paloma, so you better stop this, " your mother replied, her face completely serious now.

"I didn't mean to offend, I'm sorry," she said sarcastically. "But it's funny you should say that since you never were okay or wanted to deal with the fact that she was a mutant either."

Your breath caught your throat, chest tightening as you felt anger take over.

"You're right, I lost my relationship with my daughter just because I didn't understand her, and I was wrong. All I want most is to make up for it and change. So I won't accept any more of your prejudice, not with my daughter or with Logan." Your mother's voice was firm and steady, her posture confident and despite the moment I smiled to see the change in her. The way she defended you.

“Everything is fine? Anyone got something to say about me?”

Before your aunt could answer, the deep, gruff voice cut through the air like a blade, silencing the room. You turned to see Logan standing in the doorway, his expression unreadable but his presence commanding.

Your aunt faltered, her confidence wavering under the weight of his gaze. “I—no, of course not,” she stammered, her smile faltering as she fidgeted with the cookie in her hand.

Logan’s gaze didn’t waver, and his voice was calm but firm as he added, “Good. We wouldn't want to cause a scene on Christmas, right?”

Your aunt nodded, muttered something about needing to check on the drinks, and scurried out of the kitchen, leaving an awkward silence in her wake.

Logan crossed the room in a few strides, his hand finding yours. His thumb brushed lightly over your knuckles, grounding you. “You okay?” he asked softly. “Need a hand?” This time he looked at your mother, his gaze light and tone gentle.

Your mother stepped aside with a knowing smile. “She’s all yours.”

You smiled, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

Logan’s hand tightened around yours. “C’mon,” he said, his voice low and meant only for you. “Let’s get out of here for a minute.”

The night had settled into a comfortable lull by the time Logan led you outside. The snow had stopped falling, but the cold still bit at your cheeks and turned your breath into faint clouds in the air.

“Busy night,” he said, his tone dry but not unkind.

You laughed softly, the sound muted by the quiet of the world around you. “You handled it pretty well.”

He shrugged, his hands buried deep in his jacket pockets. “Your family’s all right. Loud, but all right.”

You nudged him with your elbow. “That’s high praise coming from you.”

He didn’t respond right away, his gaze fixed on the horizon. The silence stretched out, not uncomfortable, but heavy with unspoken thoughts.

Finally, he turned to you, his expression softer than you’d ever seen it. “You were scared about bringing me here,” he said, his voice a quiet rumble.

You let out a breath, watching it curl into the night air. “I didn’t want it to go wrong—for you, or for them. I thought maybe… maybe I was asking too much.”

Logan stepped closer, his presence like a shield against the cold. “You never ask too much from me,” he said firmly. “But you’ve got to stop carrying all this by yourself. You’re not alone in this anymore.”

His hand found yours, the roughness of his fingers a contrast to the gentleness of his touch. “You don’t need to protect me. And you sure as hell don’t need to protect them from me. That’s not how this works.”

Your throat tightened, his words cutting through the tangled mess of your insecurities. “I just… I don’t want to mess this up,” you admitted, your voice trembling.

He tipped your chin up, his eyes locking onto yours. “You won’t.” The certainty in his voice was unshakable, and it felt like he was holding more than just your gaze—it felt like he was holding you together.

"I can't lose you, Logan," you breathed, desperation lacing your words. "And sure as hell I wasn't going to lose you because of my family." As he leaned closer, the frigidness of the world outside seemed to fade, replaced by the warmth radiating from him. His forehead grazed yours, a gentle touch that sent a shiver of connection coursing through you.

His breath was warm, his voice a whisper that carried only for you. “Whatever happens, it’s you and me. That’s not changing.”

The words wrapped around your heart, soft and unyielding all at once. “I love you,” you whispered, the confession slipping out before you could stop it.

He smiled then, a rare, fleeting thing that lit his face like sunlight breaking through clouds. “I love you too,” he said, the rough edges of his voice softening with the weight of the truth.

And then he kissed you, slow and deliberate, like there was nothing in the world but this moment. His hands moved to your waist, grounding you, making you feel like everything would be okay.

Later that night, the house was quieting down. The children had been sent to bed, though the muffled sound of giggles hinted they weren’t asleep just yet. Most of the adults had retreated to the kitchen for coffee and one last helping of dessert. You sat with Logan on the couch, the glow of the Christmas tree casting soft shadows across the room.

The space felt smaller now, more intimate, as if the noise and chaos from earlier had wrapped itself around the house and left behind only warmth. Logan had his arm draped along the back of the couch, and you leaned against him, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to you.

“Y’know,” he said, his voice low, “I’ve been around a long time. Seen a lot of families. Never really… been part of one.”

You tilted your head to look up at him, surprised by the confession. “Not even before—?”

He shook his head, cutting you off gently. “Never had anything like this. The noise, the mess, the way they’re all in each other’s business.” He chuckled softly. “It’s good. Feels like life.”

You reached for his hand, your fingers lacing with his. “They’ve accepted you, you know. You might not think it, but they have.”

He looked down at you, his brow furrowed. “How can you tell?”

You smiled. “Because they’re treating you exactly the same way they treat me—asking too many questions, teasing you, shoving food at you like it’s the answer to everything. That’s how they show love.”

Logan was quiet for a moment, his eyes glued to your intertwined fingers. When he finally spoke, his voice was softer than you’d ever heard it. “It’s nice. It’s… good to feel that. To feel like I’ve got a place.”

You pressed a kiss to his shoulder, your heart swelling at the vulnerability he rarely let show. “You do. With them, and with me.”

The sun was barely rising when you woke the next morning, the soft glow of dawn spilling into the room. Logan was still asleep beside you, his breathing slow and even, one arm draped possessively over your waist. For a moment, you just watched him, marveling at the way the years seemed to fall away when he was at peace.

The sound of children’s laughter broke the stillness, followed by the creak of floorboards and the distant rustle of wrapping paper. Logan stirred, his eyes blinking open as he looked at you.

“Mornin’,” he mumbled, his voice gravelly with sleep.

“Merry Christmas,” you whispered, leaning down to brush a kiss against his lips.

He smiled against your mouth, his hand moving to the small of your back to pull you closer. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

The two of you made your way downstairs, where the living room had transformed into a chaotic wonderland of presents and decorations. The children were tearing into their gifts with wild abandon, while the adults watched with coffee cups in hand and fond smiles on their faces.

“¡Mija! ¡Logan! Ven acá!” Your father waved you over, a brightly wrapped package in his hands.

You sat on the floor beside Logan as your father handed you the gift. “This is for you two,” he said, his voice warm.

Inside was a framed photo of the family taken the night before, everyone crowded together under the Christmas lights. In the corner, Logan stood beside you, his expression reserved but his hand resting on your shoulder.

“We wanted you to have something to remember this Christmas by,” your father said. “So you’ll always know that you have a place here. Both of you.”

You glanced at Logan, your throat tight with emotion. He met your gaze, his arm coming to rest on your shoulders, gently pulling you against him as he gave you the smallest of nods.

By the time the car was packed and the goodbyes were said, the sun was high in the sky, casting long shadows across the snow. Your family stood on the porch, waving as Logan started the engine and pulled out of the driveway.

The road stretched out ahead of you, the silence in the car a comfortable contrast to the noise of the past two days. You leaned back in your seat, watching the snow-covered trees blur past.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” you said, glancing over at Logan.

He huffed a quiet laugh, his hands steady on the wheel. “Could’ve been worse. Your tío Pablo was about two shots of tequila away from a fight, though.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “He’s always like that. But he liked you, you know. They all did.”

Logan didn’t respond right away, but the faint curve of his lips told you everything you needed to know.

As the miles stretched on, you found yourself reaching for his hand, your fingers lacing together over the console. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze, his thumb brushing lightly over your skin.

“You’re happy,” he said after a while.

You smiled, resting your head against the seat. “I am.”

He glanced at you, his expression soft. “Good. You deserve that.”

And as the car continued down the snow-dusted road, you realized that you finally felt completely at peace.

𖤐 reblogs and feedback are appreciated! requests are also welcome, ty!

[artofshinga]

Tonight I accidentally deleted months worth of art... maybe years. Some of it backed up but most of it not, due to me just getting too into a comfortable routine. We're trying to recover it but it's grim so far and it's been a ROUGH christmas eve. We're gonna run the recovery again overnight and see if it works better this time but this might be like the... third... time I've lost all my art in one blow...? the other two were due to flooding though and it was all physical art (among other belongings) this is all digital and definitely my own fuck-up so I'm upset. Fingers crossed for a christmas miracle or some shit idg I'm not religious but I AM sad and desperate, and that's close enough rn

[wolfsclothing6]

Weight of Desire

2k special

Gabriel Sanchez had spent years living a life that felt perfectly adequate but deeply unremarkable. Middle management at a tech firm, a reliable boyfriend in Lucas, and a comfortable apartment in Manhattan. By all accounts, he should have been happy. But the truth was, Gabriel hadn’t felt alive in years. Even his relationship with Lucas, once fiery and passionate, had dulled into predictable rhythms—dinners, Netflix, the occasional half-hearted kiss before bed.

When the email arrived—Opportunity Awaits: A New Experience—he clicked on it out of nothing more than boredom. The promise of something new was enough to intrigue him.

Moments after filling out the form, Gabriel felt his body seize. A warmth spread through his limbs, but it wasn’t the kind of comfort he’d expected. It was heat, heavy and consuming. His vision blurred, and then everything went black.

Gabriel woke up gasping.

The first thing he noticed was the weight—his body was impossibly heavy, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath. His skin felt foreign, rough against the fabric of the sweat-soaked sheets beneath him. When he reached up to run a hand through his hair, he stopped short, staring at the thick, dark fingers that weren’t his own.

His heart raced as he stumbled out of bed, the entire room unfamiliar. The walls were cracked, the air thick with the scent of frying oil and stale sweat. A cheap, warped mirror hung crookedly on the wall. Gabriel approached it, his legs unsteady beneath him, and froze when he saw his reflection.

The man staring back at him was large, with dark, ruddy skin and a heavy, rounded face. His body was immense, rolls of flesh spilling over his waistband. His arms, thick with muscle buried under fat, flexed as he clutched the edge of the mirror.

He wasn’t himself.

The ID card on the nightstand told him his name: Javier Castillo.

---

The city felt different in Javier’s body. The streets were harsher, the air colder. Gabriel’s movements were slower, deliberate, as if the weight of Javier’s life clung to him like a second skin.

That afternoon, Gabriel found himself standing in the back room of a greasy diner, staring at an enormous stack of dirty dishes. His arms ached, his back throbbed from the weight of the day.

Paul, his wiry manager with a perpetually sour expression, barked at him from the doorway. "Javier! I told you those tables need to be cleared now, not when you feel like it!"

Gabriel straightened, instinctively opening his mouth to respond. "I—I’m—" But the words stuck. Instead, what came out was, "Lo siento, jefe. Es que estoy—uh—trabajando, pero—"

Paul’s face twisted in irritation. "What the hell did you just say? Speak English, man!"

Gabriel’s cheeks burned. He tried again, forcing himself to speak slowly. "I... I work... too much," he said, but the words felt clumsy, wrong.

Paul rolled his eyes. "Just clear the damn tables, Castillo."

As the manager stormed off, Gabriel clenched his fists. He wanted to shout, to explain that he wasn’t Javier, that this wasn’t his life. But the weight of his reality—the weight of Javier’s life—pressed down on him.

Days turned into weeks, and Gabriel became more attuned to Javier’s life. The grind of menial jobs, the whispers of coworkers in Spanish he could barely follow, the way strangers looked through him on the subway.

But there were moments of connection. At a construction site, Miguel—a fellow worker—brushed against him while handing him a tool. The contact was fleeting, but Gabriel felt it like a spark. Later, Miguel invited him for drinks.

At the bar, the air was thick with the smell of beer and sweat. Miguel leaned in close, his hand resting on Gabriel’s thigh. "¿Cómo estás, güey?" Miguel asked, his voice low and teasing.

Gabriel tried to respond in English but stumbled. "I... uh... I’m tired... no sé cómo decirlo..."

Miguel chuckled softly. "No importa, hermano. You don’t gotta explain."

When Miguel’s lips brushed against his ear, Gabriel let out a low, shuddering breath. They didn’t make it back to the apartment. Instead, they found themselves pressed against a brick wall in an alley, Miguel’s hands gripping Gabriel’s waist, his mouth hot and demanding against his neck.

For the first time in years, Gabriel felt wanted—not for his polished appearance or polite charm, but for his body. For the raw, unpolished truth of it.

---

As Gabriel lay tangled in sweat-stained sheets the next morning, Miguel’s arm draped across his chest, he stared at the ceiling. This life, as exhausting and unforgiving as it was, had awakened something in him.

He didn’t know how or why this had happened—how he had ended up in Javier’s body, or what it all meant. But for the first time, he didn’t feel like a spectator in his own life.

Tell me if you want them to be Reaccurring characters I love to write more about Gabriel(Javier) and Miguel