#but the words went where the wrods wanted to go

[renecdote]

Bruce + protect for @sugarbatsy

Everything looks right, except for the way that it’s all wrong. The Jason framed on the mantlepiece is older than the picture should be. Seventeen, eighteen maybe, sitting in front of an open toolbox, Bruce’s favourite Ferrari behind him, his bright grin smudged with grease.

“That’s the one you couldn’t save.”

Bruce doesn’t jump. He turns slowly, not sure he wants to see what he knows is going to be there. Red and green and yellow wrapped like linen around a mummy, perfectly preserved the way he was when Bruce last saw him whole. There are no broken bones though, no blood, no bruised or burning flesh. It’s just Jason. Bruce’s Jason.

“That’s you,” Bruce says. It comes out raspy, painful, choked out past everything he doesn’t know how to say.

Jason—floppy haired and too damn young for the sadness in his eyes—shakes his head. “I can’t be him,” he says. “I can’t be anything anymore.”

The pain in Bruce’s chest is sharp, growing sharper. His body is a bruise and this hallucination—dream? afterlife?—is the child who keeps poking it, just to see if it really does hurt as much as it looks like it will. After it happened, Bruce would have given everything to see Jason again, to numb the ache he carried around with him. But seeing his son now just makes the ache wore.

“I’m sorry,” Bruce chokes out. “God, Jaylad, I’m so—”

“Yes,” Jason interrupts. “You’re sorry. I know.” The words are bitter but his smile is sweet enough to make Bruce’s teeth ache. “It’s okay, Bruce, I forgive you.”

Bruce shakes his head. No. No, it’s not supposed to be that easy. It’s not supposed to—

“I promised to take care of you. I promised to protect/ you.” It’s easier to let the words come with the swell of anger he feels toward himself. Burning through his veins, clouding his thoughts, painting everything in a blood-red haze. He should have done things different. He should have done things better. “All I did was get you killed.”

Jason is angry now. He’s right in Bruce’s face, hands grabbing fistfuls of Bruce’s sweater and shaking, clinging, holding on like he’s solid and real and alive.

“No,” he snarls. “No. You loved me.”

His voice cracks and his eyes spill tears and Bruce decides this can’t be some torturous afterlife, he can’t be dead already, because this, what he’s feeling right now, this must be what dying feels like. His heart has cracked right down the middle, blood cut off from all his vital organs, pain spreading through his cheat and squeezing until he can’t breathe.

“It wasn’t enough,” Bruce hears himself whisper, as if a ventriloquist far away is putting the words in his mouth.

Jason doesn’t have anything to say to that. He wraps his arms around Bruce’s chest, presses his face against the same scratchy wool he always complained about when he was alive (“Bruce, noo, take if off and then I’ll hug you. No, Bruce, no, no it’s itchy. Bruuuuce.”). Bruce hugs him back, tight enough to hurt, feeling the wracking tears that don’t wet his sweater. As much as Jason is here, he’s not really here at all. Wherever here may be.

“I’m sorry,” Bruce says again. He could say it for the rest of his life and it would never be enough, no matter what Jason says.

“Shut up, old man,” Jason says through sniffling tears. “Just let me hug you in peace.”

Bruce laughs, little more than a choked breath, strangled before he even realises that it’s not at all funny. It’s just so Jason that if he doesn’t laugh he’s going to cry as well. He thought he spent all his tears after Jason died, but every time he turns around there is a new reason for them to spring up. He cups the back of Jason’s head, curls as soft and unruly as they always were. It isn’t real. It can’t be real.

But God it feels real.

“I miss you so much, Jay,” Bruce murmurs.

“I miss you too, B.”

Bruce closes his eyes and tells himself that it doesn’t matter if it’s not real. It doesn’t matter if Jason is really here or not. If he doesn’t think about it, if he just keeps his eyes closed and hugs his son, it can be good enough for a little while.

[viktormaru]

Iruka’s day is ruined again

decided there would be no better day to post this piece

words: like so many (746)

warninngs:  unforgivable crimes

--

Iruka woke up and it was a great day. 

The sun was up and the sky was blue and he drank his coffe and he thanked the lord for another beautiful day. He was very blessed to have his beatuiful job nurturing beautiful kids.

He went outisde to walk and he said hi to people on his way to school (where he was a teacher).

He said hi to the teachers too.

And on the way he found his beautiful son naruto.

“Ah hjello naruto” He greeted and naruto smiled at him

“Hi dad”

“What are you doing today” he asked cherfuly cause he wanted to know

“I am going out with my friends!! Dattebayo!! We’re going to watch amovie” he said

Naruto was like 18 or something i dont know. And then iruka was like “ah thats really nice what movie is it”

And naruto said it was  a

Romance Movie

Iruka blushed… romances… 

“Be careful naruto.. He said

Naruto said seriosu

“Its okay iruka sensei, you dont need to be worried. I know… protectyion”

Iruka started sweating.

“What do you mean?”

“I know u must always leave space for jesus when ur hugging a girl” he said obdientlyi, because iruka tauught him that. “And i wouldnt do it any other way. But i know that if i came to it. I know to use the protection so the babyes are not alerted.”

Iruka sweated all over nervously. No it couldn….. How could? Naruto couldnt nknow

“What proteciton nrauto?”

Naruto gulped

“Condpm”

Iruka ‘s vision blurred his shaking legs shaking. He knew he shouldnt dhave let naruto go awy, he knew the dangers of the world. But , a boy so young?

“Naruto how told you that?’ he controeld the shaking of his voice by shaking the opposite directoin

“Kakahsi sensei told me. He said all teens all do it and to rubber and lube up before getting the fuck up” he nodded

Iruka’s ear rang in anger and gfear. 

“Naruto you msut stay awy from him he’s bad influence he ruind my 26 birthday party and i cannot forgive him for his bad actions”

“But sensei!” naruto cried hard “hes my sensi nn”

“Naruto u must let go”

“No!!!!1!” naruto yelled “team 7 means family and family means no one gets left behind im gonna go watch the movie dad” he cried and he ran

An d iruka cried too

His family wsa ruined now, but he could fix this

He could save the other families… poor sakuyra..l so young.. Or sasuke, he had no family ah shit , so young…

Iruka breathed in deepluy and he ran to make justice

He prayed first for the kids and to protect them from  that man’s wrods

He sweatted at ‘protected’ cause it was like ‘protection’ and kakashi ruined another word for him god there wasnt anything that man couldnt ruin

“HIRUZEN”

NO WAit naruto is 18 hes dead LMAO

“Tsunade”

He ran to her office

“I must report a terible crime.”

“hm/?” she had her chair turned away, only the hatr viisble

“Its akashi he.,.. He said..”

Iruka couldnt say it 

He clenched his fists until it made that one leather sound in anime

“He said.. Premarital sex is fine… he said it… to …. Naruto”

She remained in shocked silence

“Who nows who else couldve heard it? Thsi is unforgivable. I undertand he was anbu bnut this??? Think of the children.”

“I do” tsunade asid but her voiec was not right

Iruka froze

No

“Pardon?” he asked in fear

“I think of the. Eand i think”

The chair turned reavleing………………………….. KAKASHI

HE WAS THE HOKAGE!

NO!

“I thinl… pre martial sex is cool” he said

Iruka clenched hes teeth in agger

“NO ITS NOT!! THATS NOT RIGHT!! HOW DARE YOU!!”

“Its too late im the hokage now i make the rules, the rules is… s”

“SONT SAY IT”

“E”

“NO!”

“X”

AAAAAAAAAAA IRYKA SCXREAMED 

“This hovernment is so corrupted what about our morrals we’ve fallen so far from god’s graace” he lamented to the heavens

“I will now go home and not do my homework or my work or my home but ill do a Guy and were not even gonna be married”

“I cant beliee this” he struggled

Kakashi said to get out of his office now

Iruka angered his eyebrows

“I ownt allow nit anyomre”

He copied his slash on the nose on the headband

He was now…. Nukenin

(TO BE CONTINUED??????)

[seijch]

hi im about to spam u (so sorry) but ive been too scared to read doomsday until now and im so glad i finally did becasue dude. Dude. its so much. "It’s as the sky bleeds from orange to pale blue that it hits." i loveeee how you incorperated such small moments like the hot chocolate and the ily + i know... be even here just the thought of your Last Sunrise is heartbreaking, but to /realize/ your own end coming in that moment, especially watching the soft sunrise... oof.

HI!!! omg when you sent this i was like . abt to sleep but i read this before i did and went irl 🥺🥺 and then also passed out before i could formulate a response sjfksdfds

anyway!! my response to your asks (i hope i got them all but!!) will be under the cut bc i dont know how to shut up ❤

a lot of the way the interactions in doomsday unfold are honestly BECAUSE tsukki and the reader are (i mean first of all, theyre tsukki and the reader with all that comes with) fully aware that:

they have abt a full day of life left

theres nothing that can be done to elongate that time or avoid death altogether

its not like some young adult novel where a group of ragtag teenagers save the world; its the tale of two adults who have had time to come to terms with the fact that their lives and the lives of everyone they know will end soon (and once again everything that THAT comes with). its why i rlly enjoyed juxtaposing the nice weather w the crippling realization of their own mortality 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

"you try to stress your words, make it absolutely clear that you’ve never meant anything like you mean this" this is HEARTBREAKING in a whole miryad of different ways - for a realtionship u establish as one with so many things unsaid but still understood, but here to have her say this so desperately?? like she feels this its too big to leave between the lines? it doesnt matter that he knows, she needs to say it and needs him to hear it UGH IM SAD AGAIN

IM SO GLAD YOU POINTED THIS ONE OUT!! this is EASILY one of my favorite parts of the whole fic mostly bc its something i go thru a lot? like im the definition of that tweet abt never making any damn sense but ESP when it comes to my i love yous or other serious things...i say it a lot and yes i mean it every time! but sometimes i MEAN it and i never quite know how to properly express that kinda thing. 

i think its especially big for the reader in the context of the world ending and in the context of their relationship with tsukishima to have that moment of transparency and complete sincerity for the EXACT reasons you described!!!

"It’s hollow; neither of you have been under the delusion that this was anything but." u said u werent sure about his characterisation but this screams tsukki to me. cuz hes blunt and i dont think he would lie to himself about something like this especially. and even when she tries just for a moment to pretend, he just shows her /no, its ok, this is the truth and we have to die with it/... nah it vibes dude. hes such a interesting character for this idea too? because hes not sappy or anything +

so his tears hurt so much more... oof. "This is my goodbye, he says with more than words." this just... i have so many feelings about this. cuz to me hes totally someone who shows affection through small actions when he cant find the words to match his emotions? so this is like a 4-book-saga laying out his emotions cuz he doesnt quite have the words to say it out loud and theyre out of time. its desperate, but not sad desperate? like its the end but its just him making sure shes knows everything 

ok first of all THANK YOU for saying that bc i wrote him being more vulnerable than i think we rlly see in any tsukki not like ... in junior high LMAO and immediately after i felt my characterization alarms ringing ... like yk those natural disaster alarms? thats the vibe...

but i had one of those Moments where i was no longer the one writing and it was the characters themselves just telling me what to say and how to say it nsfsfsd so im rlly glad it worked! and tbh when the concept first grabbed me by the collar i was juggling a few different characters around in my head but i think i made the right choice in the end. its like you said -- hes not a particularly sappy type and hes always been more grounded in reality imo than some of the other characters (another contender for this fic was akaashi but i realized i do NOT have any solid grasp of his character that isnt from fandom interpretation which is a double edged sword tbh)

and honetly i was ok until "If you’re going to take me out, do it in style, you’d said to him, once. So he does." and then i was all of a sudden crying. and the "stripped down to your bare selves" like theyre just being incinerated together and IM- NO WRODS JUST FEELINGS. i think the best thing about this is how unrushed it feels? and it hurts and its aching but they Know. +

and theyve come to some form of peace with it so when it does come, they can focus on eachother and not the end oh im gonna cry again. this was so gracefully put together, thank u for this. i might reread it and cry again, amazing work 😭💕

i didnt touch on it above bc i wanted to do it here but yes!!!! the absolute fucking DESPERATION felt by both parties in that last minute (which idk if you read my tags on the fic proper but 11:59 was originally one segment before i took those last couple paragraphs and made them the very last second ... i think i made the right choice? it rlly does scream FINAL to me) is SO poignant. all of the walls and hidden meanings fall away because in the end theyre all they have left, dying in each others arms at the very end of it all.

this full REVIEW honestly made me so happy to hear esp on a piece i wasnt quite sure how to feel about at first,, thank you 🤝🏻🤝🏻 i hope you have/had a wonderful day!!!!

OK EDIT BC I JUST SAW THIS COMIC SOMEONE MADE ON IG AND ITS NOT THE MOST RELEVANT BUT ANSWERING THIS PUT ME IN A TSUKISHIMA MOOD SO HERE

[kimtaetae16ii]

STORY OF US - DONGHYUCK LEE

Synopsis : in which the elderly knew about your hidden relationship and make you guys broke apart and at the end he came back to fix it all while you were struggling with depression

Warnings : mental illness, mental abuse, violent, light-smut,using curse words alots, easy English grammar XP too cringy, too clingy, might cause frustration

Pairing : Donghyuck x reader (n ur name is Jeannie Pwark)

A/n : this is my first fanfiction of him ever! So yeah those senpai who sees mistakes in my writing do chat me about tht .

_________________________________________

You and Donghyuck had been in relationship for almost 2 years. You were homeschooled back then so did he too. Both of you got same teacher for English subject even for different places. So, to make it easy, the teacher made group chat on WhatsApp so that if anything inconvenient happened she will inform you guys through there. There's many students in there too but Donghyuck attracted your attention. You were the one who started the conversation with him.

He, in the first place actually  dislike you for being too friendly with him and others. He used to hate you too. He hate you for nothing. He thought that you were friendly bitch of no where. Also he was being insecure because he afraid you might be a gold digger to dig all of his family's assets all away. But then, you've proven to him that you are an angel with pure heart so you just being kind towards him until he finally fell on you. Your first-sight crush finally fell on you.

You both lived in rich residents as your father is working as successful businessman while your mother is a successful lawyer in the city of Seoul. Then, both of his parents work in their own business that the profit so fucking higher than Trumph.

done throwback session.

[ Saturday, 1:37 a.m.]

You couldn't close your eyes yet as you already drove in long 9 hours sleep in the late evening. Then you woke at 9 p.m. It just after you woke up, you receive 16 missed calls from him andthe spamming chat is uncountable. Then, you guys been in an arguments which caused he was being mad while you were being sulking.

The clock showed it was almost 2 a.m. and you still cannot close your eyes. The feelings are coming. You want him. You want him to sing you to sleep with his angelic voice. You want his warmth body heated your body so you won't get cold while sleeping in air-conditioner.

then, with feeling guilty you tapped on the number on the light screen after that you pressed the phone on your left ear. hoping he would not be mad at your anymore.

after 30 seconds, he finally picked your call.

"what's the matter now. You disturb my sleep"

his words really hurt your feelings like he unwilingly to answer your phone call but he did anyway.

Donghyuck is not a person who sleep early actually. He's been an owl just want to make sure you are the one who get beauty sleep before him.

"I cannot sleep. will you come over? please ~" you begged him because this is the way for both of you to be peace once again. You need him.

you've heard he sighed.

"i've told you for countless time to not sleep in the late evening or else this will happen. Y/n , you really need good health."

that's why i'm asking you to come over so that my depression will be cured.

"okay. i won't disturb. just continue to sleep. sorry." you end the calls made decision to throw the phone away onto the hard floor.

you hate yourself like the way he used to hate you. you knew who you are. you know how annoying you are how much burden you gave to people surround you especially your family. and because of that, you less attention from them. that's why you need haechan. he's right person to be but not right for you.

You curled up while sitting while buried your face in your lap. Tears finally streaming down on your cheeks.

i hate me. i want to die so bad.

you felt sorry for Haechan to waste his time just for you. you give him nothing in return.

you've been crying so bad that make your body shaking while you mumbling all curse words about how bad you want to die.

Suddenly, you felt hands brushed your hairs from back. When you lifted your face, you saw your precious boyfriend right in front of you. your heart ache but in the same it healed when he pulled you into his arms.

"Haechan-ah~" you called him.

"yes, sweetheart" he replied while pat your back softly like you're a new born baby.

"you still mad at me ?" you broke the hug and faced him looked into his shining eyes.

"Sweetheart, we're good now. do not be overthinking , okay. You'll be fine." he pulled you into hug again then he sang you to sleep.

You fell asleep in his neck then, he changed the position. He laid you down carefully place your head on the soft pillow then he laid next to you.

" sleep tight, Lee's "

[Saturday, 6:40 a.m.]

At the time you woke up, you were left with his fresh cologne on your bed sheets. Your morning felt so good.

you pressed the circled button of your iPhone , then you noticed he leaved you mesage in your personal chatroom saying

'sweetheart, i'm going home. Have a great journey to your grandmother house. XOXO '- 5.35 a.m.

You got big smiled there. You changed the position to sit then after few minutes, you went into the bathroom to wash yourself.

Then, after you already settle up yourself, you went the downstairs and enter the kitchen to get breakfast.

then your 7 years old greeted you.

"hey y/n, i saw man walking out from your room when i want to go to toilet this morning."

you hurriedly cover your little sister's mouth before anybody in this house heard her wrods.

"shhh . don't tell mama"

"mama was with me."

loud of laugh then.

_________________________________________

The way to your grandmother's house was very tiring even you were not the one who drive the car but like you've been stopped at rest area so often plus the weather was very hot for you.

Once you arrived at your grandmother's house, you guys were greeted by the the maids. Then they lead you to the living room. There, finally you met your grandma.

"Heeeyyy ,Oh My granddaughters! Miss both of you so bad !"

Grandma opened her arms as she welcomed us to hug her so we running along until we got into her hug. She kissed our top of head also our cheeks.

"How you've been, Nana?" I asked her while sitting next to her on the couch that made by  animal's skin.

"I'm great!  I just missed you guys so so much!

Kyaa~ Haneul yah!  Why don't you often bring them here? You also didn't always visit me. You know I've been so lonely after the death of your father! "

Mama fixed her hairbun prepared herself to answer Nana's question.

"I'm sorry, Ma. I'm just busy with all my clients-"

"Fuck your clients!  Your mother is more important!"

"Ma, don't be like that. I promise you to visit you as often as needed after all of the cases settled up at the court."

"I don't care. I made decision."

"What decision, Nana? " I, hugged her right arms, looked into her eyes.

She looked at me for second then she turned to face mama back.

"I want both of my grandchild to stay with me"

My heart dropped down-

but my little sister cheered up as she like to be with nana just because nana fulfill her needs.

"Kyaa~" I pushed little bit her head bit getting scolded by my father.

"Park Jeannie!"

"Ma, but Jeannie would enter her university so soon. Also Jane gonna have her first homeschool session." My father suddenly exist in that situation.

"I insist. She can took over the chocolate company after she get her training months."

I saw fire in Nana's eyes. So did my parents too.

Yeah. Even they don't mind about me a lot but they seems won't lose me. like I stil need home cause it's not faraway from haechan.

"Nana-"

"Okay! Let's have our special meals!" She cut me deliberately.

"Yeaayyy.  Nana did you make my favourite Sandwich?"

"Of course, honeybun! Now let's go all of you."

-

At night.

"Fuck. I hate this." You groaned alone on the bed thinking how you would be without seeing your boyfriend for not a single day also after you moved into your grandmother's house soon.

You looked up at the white flower decorated ceiling and that things still wandered in your mind.

You didn't get any phone call from him yet for today. He has been busy with his schedule of being an idol.

He always available at middle of the night.

You turned on the screen then got into your personal chatroom with him.

Babe, I have something to say. Really important.

Sent, 12:32 a.m.

You only got one tick from him. So you just decided to go to sleep even you didnt use to sleep at early bed.

[1:40 a.m.]

You can felt something was vibrating in your hand as you held your phone while you drove to sleep. That's make you woke up in the middle of the night.

Without seeing whose the caller, you answered just like that.

"Heelo sweetheart. Already asleep."

"I can't sleep unless I heard your voices, you know."

"Awwwwww~ so sweet talker."

"Shut up. How was your day during the show?"

"So tired but not full enjoyed."

The atmosphere suddenly turned into serious.

"Whyy babe, are you sick while performing?" You were afraid as he worked too hard just to present great performance to gis beloved fans.

"No. I'm not sick. I'm fine thank you."

"Then what?"

"I'm not enjoy it much as you're not here watching my performance with the members."

You dumbfounded.

"Are you serious, bang-chan?"

Bang-chan means side dishes in Korean.

"Hahahahahaha" you heard him laughed so loudly. You just brought that up again because you watched one of the vlive that Jeno called him Bang-chan when he introduced himself.

Then, you also laughed but not that as hard-core as him.

"Are you done, baby?" You asked him after you heard silent voices.

"N-no" his giggles still there.

"Hahahh, i want to see you so bad right now. But i cant As the network is not giving cooperation with me. So, yeah~ "

"So, you feel like you want to go home?" He asked.

"Yes of course. Home is everything." You looked out the glass window. Spontaneous thought came in.

"Am I your everything too?" He snapped you out by his question.

It took several seconds to reply that.

"Lee donghyuck, you are my last destiny after the world end its life."

"Wahh~" at the end of his word, his soothing voice made you melt.

"Go to sleep now , babe. You tired i know that."

"Love you 3000" you added.

"Love you for infinity numbers."

And that amde you laughed.

"Bye. Have a nice sleep, haechan."

"Okay ."

You end up the call. After that you directly close your eyes and drove to sleep.

A/n : I can't add some more parts as it hit the max length. Tf. If it hit 10 likes, I'll post more ♡♡♡

[movefowardalways]

Music Hurts More Now

The music I listen to

It all reminds me of you

You introduced me into almost everything I listen to today

I listened to EMINEM because of you

As well as 50 Cent, not that I listen to him anymore, but when I hear his songs, it makes me sad

What a sad reminder of your existence

You were loved by me, I wish you knew, but how could you, 

I did you wrong many times

I was young

Unstable and I didn’t know how to fight for a place in life either

Utada Hikaru I know of her music because of you

You played Kingdom Hearts and you are the reason I still love and will always love those games, because of you

Linkin Park got me through many tough times in life, I want to thank you for introducing me into them

I am sure at one point in life they helped you as well, or maybe Fort Minor

I remember the day you told me about them, you were so excited that Mike was in Fort Minor as well

You knew he was so skillful, I know you looked up to him and Eminem

You had a love for Taylor Swift, no I never got into her music

I do remember your love for Bad Blood and you always played it on repeat

You just adored her

I do give you kuddos for liking her, she is a wonderful person and fights for all the rights that people deserve to have

Simple Plan I cant even play now, everytime I hear any of their songs, I start to cry

I miss you so much I wish I could see you one more time

I wish we could forgive each other

I do forgive myself, I do know I hurt you, hell our whole life was a mess

I wish you could see where I am in life

You would be so proud of me right now, you would be happy for me

Music just hurts now, it’s never hurt me as much as it has since. you been gone

Any song with a slight reminder of you, really chanhges my mood to sadness

I am more sad of your sadness then you not being here anymore

I know now, you can finally rest, you can be at peace, no more struggles, no more sadness, no more hate you have

I am glad in a way because i used to cry at night to not know where you were

To not know if you were ok or not

You played it off, always acting cool, like nothing was wrong

I knew you were hurting and I knew I couldnt do anything about it

We used to hum songs together and we each would have to guess who was humming yet. That was agreat childhood memory we had

I didnt have much words at your funeral, but I will slowly figure out the wrods to say to you here

I was in shock, I couldnt understand how you passed

It was unbelievable I couldnt comprehend it

I couldnt believe it

I seen your body and just looked at you waiting for you to wake up, hoping it was all just some huge prank that you were playing.

Reality kicked in when i had to leave, you were gone

I still cant comprehend it

I still cant believe that it is true

I havnt been able to sleep proper in months and I keep having nightmares, these will go away one day

I have to try to ignore a lot of what happened as I am in school, work, and have to take care of Damon

If I let your death get to me, I will lose control, I will ruin everything that I have worked so hard to accomplish in life

Yes ignoring it is not right either, but if I felt distant at your funeral or didnt talk a lot because I dont know how to handle it

I don’t know how to be ok with it

You are my brother, my older brother, I really looked up to you everyday.

You are gone and you be missed forever by me

No one will miss you as much as I do I hope you know that

My heart is breaking for you

To know your struggle, hell we both went through it in our own home, at school, growing up and being lost in the world was so hard

I figured it out, I got better, I got a job, went back to school

I am sorry that you cant be here today to see it and to see your self value.

I do LOVE You.

Rest in Peace, until we meet again brother.

#missyou #bigbrother #brother #tooyoung #toosoon #dontdodrugs #drugskill #ridtheworldofdrugs