#but the thing is unhygenic places trigger my anxiety
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whywoulditho · 3 years ago
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vent time. ignore
#so my dorm room is pretty small and even through i have a desk its not easy to study there bc i have roommates too etc#so i was trying to find some place to study peacefully#there weren't many options it was either cafeteria or a random empty room#the cafeteria is always loud so that was a no no. and some of the empty rooms in the buldings have large tables i can use to study#so i tried those#but the thing is unhygenic places trigger my anxiety#(which i suspect might be more like an ocd but i dont dare say anything before i see a therapist)#and those study rooms are public so everyone uses them. and they get in with their shoes on too (i take mine off when i'm in my room)#whenever i touched the walls or the floor i got so stressed and wanted to go take a shower. so obviously it didn't work#that's when i decided i have to make my place myself so i picked an empty room that literally nobody used and cleaned it up#got some help of other people to bring a table to the room and started using that place#i put a sign on the door that said please dont get in with your shoes bc i cleaned this fucking room thank you#nad it was going so good i loved that place it was clean and fresh and comfortable it was great#then one week i'm si k and i dont go there for a few days in a row#AND SOME MOTHERFUCKERS START USING MY ROOM#now. i know i cant be mad at anyone cause that's literally a public space too. but seriously out of all the rooms they can use...why mine?#i mean it wasn't even a study room before. there weren't even tables. and this whole year no one used it even once#i stepped up and made that place something. i'm sorry but i did it for myself not for anyone else#now its filthy again and i have to clean. but thats not even the issue. the issue is that people keep using the room whenever i'm not there#its not safe anymore#and i dont know how to ask them to leave#they look me in the eye and be like 'you wont mind if we study for a couple hours here right?' and i'm like '...sure. i was leaving anyway'#WHY AM I LIKE THIS#I hate this so much#how do i tell them to fuck off#UUUYGHHHHH#i think i'm gonna cry#sorry#this is the tag i'll use for my rants
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