#but the t shirt i got i bought a size up bc they usually run small well it's like 2 sizes too big

[troutreznor]

WHERE! Did you get the bmo shorts im enamored

🩵🩵🩵

[magicalgirlmascot]

May or may not have been inspired to create the KNPS Toa in Hero Forge. Probably also gonna do the Turaga. I’m def curious as to your thoughts on everyone’s appearances, wanna see how what I have so far compares.

I am in TEARS please please please show me when you're done!!!

I've been kind of deliberately vague about their appearances in the fic itself because last time I wrote a big long human!Bionicle fic where I was more specific about their appearances I. wound up hating it later lol. I will say though that my Bionicle Sports Anime designs aren't necessarily what I have in mind when writing! (Those are mostly just for drawing Bionicle fanart without having to draw robots and possible eventual comic reasons.)

I do have some stuff in mind, though! I'm putting it under a readmore because it wound up getting fairly long lol

Tahu: redhead, toned and fairly beefy on account of the MMA but not like dehydrated about it, jeans, t-shirts, and button-downs with the sleeves rolled up kinda guy

Kopaka: my brother thinks he should be albino but I'm on the fence there, either way he does have blue eyes and light hair cut pretty short, glasses, tall and thin

Gali: petite, curly hair usually pulled back from her face, wears a lot of long, flowy clothes (cardigans, skirts, etc.)

Onua: short af, fat, muscular, hairy, I've made Gimli jokes before but I honestly do picture him looking like Senshi DungeonMeshi with less beard, almost exclusively wears black jeans, glasses are not prescription but to help with his light sensitivity

Pohatu: tall, runner's build (muscular legs, kind of average weight distribution tbh), thick brown hair that he's been growing out, tends towards muted colours and earth tones

Lewa: fucking beanpole, tall, thin, and gangly, hair is a bird's nest 99% of the time and he has given up trying, wears green almost to the complete exclusion of other colours, loves himself some good cargo pants

Vakama: glasses and tidy beard, greying hair, middling height, wears a lot of old man sweaters/cardigans

Nokama: taller than Matau but shorter than Vakama, hair is going grey but she dyes it, carries herself with grace and poise, it's. I do picture Lucretia Adventurezone a little bit while writing her ngl

Matau: short!!! absolute manlet and either mad about it or chill with it depending on which is funnier in context, wears loud shirts

Onewa: was not a cane user at the start of the story but is one now on account of his bad back, growing his beard out, worst case of resting bitch face you've ever seen, decently tall

Whenua: tallest Turaga, thick glasses, has worn a dress shirt and tie to work every day for the last 20+ years and isn't going to stop now even if his husband makes fun of him for it >:(

Nuju: average height, long fingers, went white by age 35 (claims it's from stress but it just runs in the family, Kualus was also fully white by 35 and Matoro probably will be too), dresses nicely but not a full shirt and tie like some people

Also you didn't mention them but bonus characters bc I've been thinking about them:

Takua: built like Lewa (tall and gangling), dyes his hair blue, fashion choices are "the colours gave me a headache so I bought it immediately"

Jaller: short king, blonde, probably the most athletic kid in the class

Hahli: shorter than Takua but still pretty tall, wears jeans and sturdy clothes, solidly built

Krahka: I mean sometimes she's a fox and sometimes she's got six arms and tits the size of her head, she can look however she wants

Again please please show me when you're done!!!! I would like to see it

[outrageousbirb]

On top of everything else that my suicidality impacts; it also impacts my ability to go through my possessions to clear them out.

Like it's extremely difficult to make reasonable rational decisions when your brain responds to almost every question with "why bother? Can't we just die instead" or "counterpoint. We should kill ourselves" or "why would you keep that? So your loved ones have even more of your shite to deal with after you off yourself? How selfish are you?" Or "sure throw that away, then if you need it again you'll have to ask for help getting another bc you're a useless piece of shit who can't do a single thing right, like basic employment, you lazy piece of shit"

So yanno. It's fun.

I tend towards ruthless when it comes to purely sentimental items - mostly bc I struggle to genuinely feel anything bc of how numb I am. I got rid of all the clothing from my childhood and teen years that I was holding onto when I turned like 20, bc I was like "I'm not having kids. I have no room for this stuff. It's all in good condition. Any day now I could off myself and then when mum clears out my room she'll find these and likely breakdown sobbing bc she failed to save me or smth. So if I get rid of them now, I get the drawer space back, and we avoid that whole breakdown also. Cool, a twofer." And handed them to my mum with a "these can go. I'm done with them"

I miss my orange half zip jacket. I wore it for years, until it stopped fitting. I miss my generic superhero swimsuit, it looked so cool. I had this pink striped panda hoodie that was so cute, and I never wore girly clothes like that, so it was something special for me. I had this one t shirt I got from a charity shop - it was recycling themed with this stupid graphic that I thought was so cool. I can't remember what it said now. I wish I had a photo of it. I still remember the day I bought it, and the shop. It was the same year I got my grandma little porcelain cats for Christmas, when I was still in primary school.

I couldn't tell at the time if I was keeping them because I actually cared or just because I knew people usually kept beloved stuff from childhood and I had good memories attached to those items. I figured it didn't matter if I wasn't gonna be here much longer, so I did what I thought was the mature thing, and passed them on myself so my family wouldn't have to deal with them later.

And then I kept living.

Idk. I try to have logical reasons for keeping stuff. I keep things for practical reasons - I only keep books if I intend to reread them, otherwise they go straight into the charity pile. I try not to hold onto clothing I know I'll never wear again, even if I liked it once, or it was my favourite. I try now to be more conservative with my bag-buying, because although I love them, I'm aware how little I actually need tons of bags of similar sizes and colours, and how much more I prefer bags which actually meet my size or wear needs - closures and capacity predominantly.

But this means that I end up with a bunch of clutter that's all theoretically useful, but currently in my way. And I don't organize it or store it properly, bc I'm too depressed and adhd to figure it out. So it just grows like a fungus in drawers and shelves and boxes that now matter how often I remove sections, I'll turn around and it's the same size again. It's exhausting. And I can't use practicality as reasoning to sort through it, bc it's useful, and emotions are out, bc of the aforementioned "but we're gonna kill ourselves" track running through my head 24/7. So I just don't ever make any decision ever.

[theres-no-you-and-i]

GUIDE TO ETHICAL THRIFTING

Hi! You've probably seen some posts floating around about ethical thrifting, but they're usually focused on one aspect of it. Thrifting is more complicated than you think! When you thrift because you want to and not because you have to, be conscious of every decision you make at the store! These are spaces & merchandise there to help low income communities, and you are a guest in that space. Be respectful. As your resident Person Who Only Had A Childhood Bc Of Thrift Stores, here are some things to keep in mind :)

• Choose your store wisely! Stay out of low income areas where thrifted clothes might be more needed or in higher demand. When people unnecessarily thrift in low income areas, it limits options and raises prices. And see where your money is going! Look to shop at non-profits like Goodwill that look to support & create change in their communities. Avoid Salvation Army. They're abusive, homophobic, and transphobic.

• Stay in your size range. There is a massive shortage of plus sized clothes and kid's t shirts. Plus sized clothes are typically more expensive, which means fewer people who need them can afford them at retail price. If you want a crop top, buy one. Don't get a kid's t shirt from a thrift store, where you're taking it from someone who needs it. If you want an oversized t shirt or jeans, get them somewhere else. Plus sizes and kid's sizes should be reserved for the people who fit in them. If for some reason you absolutely NEED them in those size ranges, try a regular store (wild fable brand at target has good crop tops!), someone's depop (as long as it's not a re-sold thrift store fine), or a higher priced, for-profit thrift store that's targeted towards higher income customers.

• Some things are just off limits. Stay away from socks, sneakers, winter boots, rain + snow gear, and cleaning supplies. These are things people NEED, and if you can afford to buy it elsewhere but don't, you're taking life saving resources away. If you want to buy anything listed above (except the cleaning supplies) used for ethical reasons, try Play It Again sports! They've got no shortage of products, they're slightly cheaper than retail, and buying second hand is good for the environment! If you have winter gear in good condition that you don't want anymore, you could bring it to a ski swap and trade it out for new things!

• Don't buy just to re-sell on Depop. Buying in bulk just to raise prices on Depop/Poshmark/Mercari is not okay. Lots of people doing this raises prices at the stores themselves, the clothes are less saline than what you're settling them for (which is unfair to the customers) and you're making good clothes inaccessible to the people who need one. It's totally fine to sell old clothes online, but they should be your clothes or your friends'/family's clothes. If you're going to sell clothes you thrifted at a higher price, they should be enhanced or transformed somehow. Adding a button or one ribbon isn't enough. Do something creative. Embroider a jacket, rip some holes in those jeans, rip that t shirt up and patch it with safety pins.

• Give back. When you shop at thrift stores unnecessarily, remember that you're using a service meant for somebody else. In order to keep the system running and not hurt it by thrifting, you need to replace what you take. That doesn't always mean donating to thrift stores (although that's always a good plan!). It could mean donating money to an organization that gets low income students in your community access to new clothes and school supplies. You could volunteer at a local school to help pack meals for low income families over the weekend. You could take time to sew new clothes and donate those if that's something you enjoy. (Bonus points for donating clothes to thrift stores: you're throwing out fewer clothes & reducing your carbon footprint!)

• Avoid the toys, the caps and gowns, the kid's books, the prom dresses, and the wedding dresses. Obviously some of this is seasonal! If it's Halloween and you need a dress or a cap & gown or something for a costume, if you can't get it cheap anywhere else, go for it! I'm not about to tell you to go buy a several hundred dollar dress for your zombie prom queen outfit. But when you hit the second half of the school year, leave that shit alone. It's not cheap, so if you can afford it elsewhere, do it. Low income kids deserve a prom dress and a cap and gown just like you do, and the thrifted supply is really limited already. As far as toys and kid's books, those are important developmentally! All my books as a kid were from Goodwill. It was most of what we could afford, and they weren't being bought up too quickly so I loved reading. Most of our games were from Goodwill, too, which is how my parents kept my sister and I occupied so they could work, and how we spent a lot of time together. Little kids deserve those things no matter how much money their parents make. If you want older books, go to a secondhand bookstore (more expensive than Goodwill & generally more books). For games, try eBay!

If anyone has anything to add,let me know and I'll put it on the post!!!

[twelverose]

till the sun comes shining through (1/?)

It's a life of working hard and playing harder. Rose is the daughter of an old family trying to keep up with modern times. James is the boy of a family who left for easier living. It was natural for them to collide. Rodeos and events keep them on their toes, pushing them closer. All they know is they have a life to lead and it's better with two.

Rating: Teen (Some sexual implications, mild violence)

Pairing: Twelve/Rose

WC: 2.9K

TW: Mild violence, drinking.

A/N: It’s a cowboy au bc i love writing about things inspired by my own life babey. yeehaw.

Song: Cause I Love You - Johnny Cash (Title) and What Was I Thinkin’ -  Dierks Bentley (Chapter)

Read on Ao3

Chapter One: Come and Get Me Grin

What was I thinkin'

Oh, I knew there'd be hell to pay

But that crossed my mind a little too late

_______________________

Rose Tyler was the most beautiful girl James had ever seen. He decided that years ago. He was a year older but the same class as her in high school. Keeping at least an acquaintance with her for the first two years. Before their junior year where they really got to talk at a party. He’d been chasing her ever since. And she had fun leading him.

Her family bought the old McCrimmon ranch before she was born.  Her father was a cowboy legend. Raised to ride bulls and that he did. Winning enough by riding in the PBR to be able to invest in more land at the age of twenty. They raised cattle and trained horses. Her mother was a champion of her own. Training and riding horses in world class events. Rose stayed humble though. She was carefree. No restraint in her friendliness or attitude. It was a warm welcome in James’s life.

His family wasn’t a fan of the friendship. Especially once they sold their farm.

When she told him to meet her at the front gate of her property, he stumbled over his okay. It was a given. He wasn’t one of the idiots to say no to her. Or maybe he was the idiot to say yes. There was a rumor that Pete Tyler was more than a bull rider. Something to do with another guy and Jackie. James never asked about it. It was just something that came back around whenever word got around that Rose was going on a date in high school. 

But they weren’t in high school anymore. And he was glad that he wouldn’t have to hear it again. Especially since his nerves were already on fire, sitting at the edge of the Tyler property.

When she climbed over the gate, he knew he was in trouble. But didn’t really think about what it meant.

“You might wanna drive,” She said as she hopped into his passenger seat, “I think dad heard me.”

“What?”

“Wait another minute or two and you���ll see why.”

So he did. Not sure if it was because he felt the need to prove himself or to see if the rumors about her dad were true. Maybe it was both. But the sound of a shotgun made him kick the truck into drive,

“What the fuck?”

She shrugged and smiled, “It was an actual warning, y’know?”

Rose was wearing a tank top that belonged in an early 2000s horror movie. It was a size too small and showed off her midriff. He wasn’t complaining. Especially when she made an obvious move to sit in the middle seat to change the radio station. James found himself clenching his jaw. Just to make sure none of the stupid thoughts going through his mind came out. Not that there were many there at all. 

During the commercials between songs, they caught up. They hadn’t really spoken like they used to since graduating. Both of them falling into work. James was a farmhand at several ranches. Rose was working with her mom and dad. Taking care of cattle and training horses.

She talked about a new horse until she realized what road they were on. He didn’t even realize. Until her entire mood shifted slightly. Into something that made his cheeks turn red.

“What have you got planned for us tonight?” She asked, batting her eyes.

“Oh, the Amber Tree is doing somethin’ tonight. I think a band is playing? I’m really not that sure.” He tried to sound cool and confident. 

She smirked at him, “Who told you that?”

“What d’you mean?”

“I know how you boys work. You talk to each other to figure out the hottest spot. Who’d you talk to?”

He pretended to be offended, slapping his hand over his heart and glancing at her with a sigh, “You think I’m boring? Let me show you a bit of fun tonight then.”

She laughed, “You think I would’ve asked you out if I thought you were going to be boring?”

He pressed down further on the gas and grinned at her, “I sure hope not.”

The highway they had turned onto went through a forest until a railroad crossing. The music echoed back at them through the tunnel of trees. She seemed to know every song on the radio. Unlike him, he could only pick out a few. She didn’t seem to notice. Singing to him or out the window, grabbing his arm to get him to look at her. 

He tried to keep his eyes on the road. Luckily he knew it like the back of his hand. Because she was determined to make him look and keep him looking.

Once they got past the train tracks, she hung out the side window for a bit, whooping at the moon. He laughed and whooped with her. It was all so natural. It was fun. The most fun he’s had in months. It made some type of warmth pump through his veins. And all he wanted was more of it.

  And that he got. 

When they crossed the county line, blue and red lights flashed behind him. Rose slid back in with a wide smile and looked at him like she was saying, “Well, prove what you got.” So he did. Changing the gear and swiftly pulled off into a field. The wind whipped through her hair, wisps of it stinging his face. She kept looking behind them, telling him how far behind the cop was. He wasn’t worried. He hoped he’d remember to tell her that he’d done this a few times. And his best story of one of those times.

He really did try to avoid the crops. Although he heard at least one stock of corn get caught underneath him. The other side of the field was a dirt road, which he tore out onto. 

“Why don’t you go faster, cowboy?”

If he had to give an excuse or reason to go faster, he would’ve had to blame the testosterone spike those words caused. And usually, he’d try to keep in line. But if she was asking, then James would just have to do it.

The smile he got in response was worth it. A tongue-touched grin. James decided that he’d probably do anything for another smile like that.

It was another five minutes of loud music and speeding before they made it to the bar. It was already busy. Nine at night would do that to places like these in small towns. Especially when there was a promise of live music and fights. Although, fights weren’t on the posters.

He wiped his palms on his jeans and looked back at her, “Ready?”

“As long as you can keep up.”

They were both technically underage. Technically because the bar didn’t care nor did it really have enough staff to do so. The bar itself was full of old timers. The ones who were found there every night and knew everyone and their father. They were the first ones to ask what Rose was doing there.

“Does your father know?” He tilted up his hat.

Rose shook her head,  “And I hope he doesn’t find out.”

The man chuckled and went back to who he was talking to originally. James felt a wave of anxiety go through him. Afraid of what that conversation would lead to for him.

“He’s not gonna tell him, right?” James asked while he paid for their beers.

“You better hope he doesn’t. You’re already in trouble.”

Her wink told him that she was more of the trouble than her dad. Even if he knew the more trouble he got into with her meant only more from her dad.

He didn’t let that stop them from dancing though. It was a honky-tonk band. It was hot and sweaty in the middle of the room. He knew that. But he didn’t know when he lost the button down he was wearing over his t-shirt. He didn’t care. She was so focused on him that he had no choice but to return it. 

They were close. A lot closer than they’ve been when they danced at parties. Her chest against his. Her hands running up and down his back. This time, there wasn’t one of her friends to pull her away because she was busted. Or one of his to tell him he better lay off or he was in deep shit. They did what they’d been waiting to do. And she knew the perfect way to do it.

He was on fire. Because that’s what she did to him. Made him red and wild. So, he was just about to finally kiss her when someone shoved him back from her.

James knew who that someone was. They saw each other when he walked into the bar. They both realized what could happen. James figured it would. They both had a reputation that was in due time for testing.

Jimmy Stone was older. He was probably what made Pete Tyler the protective father he is. Once again, if the rumors were true, no one could really shame him for acting the way he did.  There was no question in what Jimmy was capable of, that was given to James. He was fit. He had to be for what he did. But he wasn’t much compared to Jimmy.

“Will you fuck off, Stone?” Rose shouted at him.

He shushed her, “This isn’t about you. Well, it doesn’t have to involve you.”

James took a step forward, “You can stop talkin’ to her like that.”

He saw the fist coming and he let it land. To prove he was just as tough as Jimmy. That’s what he would say tomorrow when he was at work. But right now, he would be stupid to say it didn’t hurt. He could feel the bruise forming when he stood back up straight. He felt the blood from his split lip run down his chin.

“You afraid to fight, pretty boy?”

If it were a movie, he’d probably pop his neck. But instead, he flicked the baseball hat off Jimmy’s head. Dodging the next punch, James managed a land to the middle of the other guy’s gut. But he took the one to his ribcage. Jimmy laughed when James took a step back and groaned.

There was a crowd around them now. He saw someone step out in the corner of his eye. Then felt Rose’s hand on his elbow but he shook it off. He wasn’t one to lose a fight without good reason.

“You ready to regret coming out tonight, Stone?” 

He was cocky. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t fallen yet or that Rose was on his side. Then a surge of anger rushed through him. He wasn’t sure where exactly it came from but it slipped out of his mouth with the taste of blood. And the hardest swing he thinks he’s ever thrown.

The crowd around him gasped. Jimmy fell flat on his ass. James laughed, then he spotted the tooth on the ground and grabbed Rose’s hand. Taking off out of the bar. 

As he slid into the driver’s side and started the truck, she slid over the hood. His heart started beating a little faster. When she jumped in, she landed in the middle seat- almost in his lap. That’s when he stopped breathing. 

She gave him a kiss. One that he had been dreaming about for a while now. It was sloppy and deep and warm. It was probably a lot shorter than what it felt. Only stopping when they heard a commotion at the front door.

She slipped away from him with a breathy “Thank you.”

They tore out of the gravel parking lot. He didn’t try to speed on the way home. Wanting to keep her this close for as long as possible. But he got a glimpse of the time and worried about what would be waiting. 

She reminded him that maybe it would be worth it. Distracting him with another kiss when he stopped at the first sign of the night. And then telling him to pull off the road just for a second. Which led to a little more than he expected. 

He had a little more than one bruise now. The rest were a lot sweeter than the first. And his shirt was just as high on his stomach as hers. Hair probably is just as messy too. Though, he didn’t quite pull it off as well as her. Given she laughed at him when he pulled back. 

“You’re a mess.” She laughed, running her thumb over his bottom lip. Focusing on the cut he got in the fight.

“Your fault,” He mumbled, leaning into her hand, “What else am I supposed to do?”

He tried to kiss her again, but she giggled against his lips. Giving him a chaste one before patting his thigh.

“Better get me home before my father decides you’re the next hide on the wall.”

He cursed under his breath. Moving back to his seat and putting the truck in drive. Trying to ignore the feeling of Rose’s hand in his hair and her humming. Those things would probably be the last thing he needed to be thinking about when pulling into her drive.

Which he was against. But she coaxed him into doing it by playing the right cards. The ones he fell sucker to almost every time, especially for her.

Pete Tyler was sitting in the driveway. James knew he was in for it by the look he got when he put it in park. Instead of flying out of the drive like any other person, he got out with Rose. Grabbing her hand. 

Which was arguably the stupidest decision he made all night. Grabbing her hand in front of her father like this wasn’t doing anything for him. Pete just glared at him harder.

Rose gave him a reassuring squeeze. He hoped that her showing fondness for him would save him some skin. The instinct deep in him doubted it would.

Pete glanced down between them, “Did y’all have a good night?”

It wasn’t a pleasantry. But James treated it as one, “Yes sir.”

The two words came out as if he should’ve given them with a salute. He held back the impulse to do so sarcastically.

“You should’ve talked to me beforehand.” He said thickly.

James suddenly felt like he should’ve at least tried to sharpen up  a bit. He felt a bit bare in his untucked shirt, messy hair, and jeans tucked into boots. He held his head high still. There wasn’t any use in putting it down at this point. He would rather be caught looking scared in front of Jimmy Stone.

Rose pulled her hand from his and walked over to her dad. He didn’t fall for her scheme like James, “Rose. Get inside.”

“Why should I?” She tested him, trying to hide her grin.

“It’s nearly 3 am, you still live in my house, and you might as well and go ahead and get your trouble with your mother over with.”

Rose sighed and took a few steps behind Pete but didn’t go inside. He didn’t take his eyes off James. He had the same challenging look that Rose did earlier. James understood what it meant to inherit looks in that moment. Even if they meant different things.

“Your daughter is amazing, sir. I was lucky to get to hang out with her tonight.”

“You sure are. Where’d you get that bruise?”

James struggled for his words, “Uh, Jimmy Stone.”

“Where’d you go to run into him and get that?”

“He’s worse,” That was his attempt in defending himself, “And I’m sure you’ve got another way to find out besides me.”

Pete laughed and shook his head. James let a small smile come to his face. This was the opposite way of doing things for a first date. You meet and talk with the parents first. Not after. He didn’t really mind. Nothing really came smoothly for him. And he liked it that way.

Especially because their conversation ended with a little less of a glare. 

“I’ll let y’all say goodnight. But you better watch what you do, Smith.”

He nodded and Pete walked inside. Silhouette taking a stance by the window. Rose glanced back and tried to shoo it away. But eventually walked back towards him when it didn’t move an inch.

She took his hands, “I had fun tonight.”

“I hope so.” He felt awkward suddenly. Unsure of what could happen next.

“Sorry about Jimmy. And my dad.”

James shrugged, “I wouldn’t ask for anything else. Another great story to tell.”

“You wanna make another great story?”

He couldn’t get out his “What?” before she kissed him. Right there. In front of her dad in the window. Once again he felt like he was on fire. Every nerve in his body was ringing. He was careful to kiss her back, not that he wanted to be.

He was shaking slightly when she stood on her toes to whisper, “It’s okay, he likes you.”

James stood there for a second. Watching her skip back inside. Excited for whatever would come next.

[livralph]

19 from this list— “You won’t scare me away.”

A/n: this may have become much longer than intended bc I forgot to post it.

Luna had never thought settling down was for her. Moving around had been her thing. Travelling thousands of miles and never staying anywhere more than a week just so she could continue to explore the world. That had been when she was younger, when staying on the move made her feel free, like nothing bound her to the world other than the creatures she was so fond of. As she became older— after the war— it felt different. The moving from place to place so often made her feel like she was running away from something. Perhaps herself, perhaps her past, perhaps everything and nothing. Whatever it was, it made her more determined to keep going. The longer she stayed at home with a friend or her dad the more anxious she became.

A minute too long in one place and she’d feel her blood run cold. A pit in her stomach would open up and she was out of the door at an obscene time with nothing more than a note left behind saying goodbye to whoever had hosted her for her return. Her bags were packed with a wave of her wand and she would cast a second spell to shrink her luggage to the size of a purse. Then into her pocket it went as she ran from the door, locking it with a flick of her wand. And into the night she went.

Harry worried. Scared for what she was doing or what would happen if she continued to disappear for weeks, even months, at a time. No one could contact her despite their efforts, and after Luna shouting at Draco for asking her to stay longer no one did. Well, to say no one asked would be a lie. There was one person who always would and never failed to have Luna stay grounded a moment longer. No one understood how Ginny did it, but no one ever asked.

Luna stayed with Ginny more than anyone else she stayed close to. At least every three months Ginny would wake to a gentle knock at her door and know who it was before she’d even left her bed. The rest were lucky if it was once a year. Every time this would happen both of them would lose their breath a little. They both knew why.

~~~

“Ginny, no ones seen her in four months.”

“She’ll be fine.”

“For Merlin’s sake—“

“Harry.” Draco said softly from where he sat beside him. Harry looked at him desperately, wishing his husband would side with him for once even if he knew that in this argument he never would.

“It’s been longer than usual, but she’s okay. I know she is.”

“How can you just know, these things, Ginny?”

“Because I—“ Ginny didn’t say what she’d been going to. She’d never say it to anyone but the person who needed to hear it. “Look. I know her better than you. Hell, I know her better than anyone. If there was reason to be scared, trust me, I’d be terrified right now. She’ll be here soon. Whether it’s in a week, a day, a month, who cares? She’ll be okay. She always is.”

Harry sighed, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes under his glasses while Draco scanned Ginny’s face carefully. He knew what she’d been about to say from the amount of times he’d almost slipped up when he and Harry were yet to say the words, but if Ginny wanted to keep that to herself that was her call. “I’m sorry.” Harry muttered. “I just worry. Can’t help it.”

“Hero complex.” A gentle smirk climbed Draco’s face as he elbowed Harry gently in the ribs then leant over to kiss Harry’s cheek. “It sweet.” He said against Harry’s skin before moving away. To look over at Ginny, stood leaning against a the counter looking at them sadly. In apology the blonde offered a half smile. Ginny may have not been at the point of saying anything, but she was certainly in a place where she knew Draco could read her as easily as a book. “C’mon. Let’s go, Harry. I’m sure Ginny would appreciate us leaving before the sun rises this time.”

Ginny seemed to be thrown back to herself at these words because when Draco said them she stood up properly, stepping away from the kitchen counter and walking to the hallway. “No, no, you can stay. I’ll make the spare bed for you guys so that—“

Draco put his hand on her upper arm gently. “No need. Really. We have somewhere to be in the morning and Merlin knows we can never leave your house on time.” He didn’t say that she might need the spare bed in case Luna arrived but it was obvious to Ginny what he meant when she looked at him. Draco saw something flicker through her expression but it was gone before he could think of what it was.

Harry and Draco left ten minutes later, leaving Ginny alone. Honestly, she was worried about Luna, it just wasn’t something she felt she could say in front of Harry. He may have been panicking but knowing Ginny was would send him overboard. Since they’d left she’d been sat staring at the cupboards above the counter and nursing her almost empty bottle of beer. The guys had brought a six pack, having one each themselves and leaving the rest for her. She was still on her first and likely wouldn’t drink another.

From the hall her clock pinged and Ginny counted each. It was three in the morning. Draco was right, him and Harry probably could have ended up staying until the sun rose again. It was somewhere around four in the morning now, and Ginny could never get to sleep after that. She knew she should sleep, every time she missed out it was hell to catch up but she’d been struggling recently and to fall asleep when she thought Luna would be at her door any second was never easy.

“Go to bed.” She said to herself harshly, downing the last few mouthfuls of her drink in seconds. And she did got to bed, cleaning her teeth and changing out of her robes in favour of a slightly over sized muggle t-shirt she’d bought at a concert last time Luna had been back. After that she climbed into her bed and fell asleep almost immediately after her head hit the pillow

~~~

Ginny groaned, hearing a tapping. Who the fuck was awake so late? She turned over pulling the pillow further over hear head to drown out the sound. Didn’t anyone get that some people were trying to sleep? She stayed in her bed a moment longer before she remembered who would be tapping this late at night, that it was someone knocking on the door more uncertainly than ever but still in the exact same rhythm she always did. It was Luna.

Without even bothering to put at least some leggings on over her underwear so that her legs didn’t freeze from her cold apartment, Ginny was on her feet, running to the front door. She knocked her hip on the sofa back as she passed it but ignored the slight twinge she’d felt. “I’m here.” Ginny said just loud enough to be heard through the door as she began unlocking it.

Then it was open and there was Luna. And oh, Merlin, maybe Ginny had forgotten just how beautiful she was or maybe somehow Luna looked more gorgeous than usual but she’d lost her ability to breathe for around thirty seconds that they both spent looking at each other, relearning the way the world stopped when they were together.

“Hi.” Luna was the first to speak, an awed smile growing on her face as if she’d just seen the best thing in the world. And maybe she had. Ginny didn’t even try to respond, she only threw her arms around Luna and hugged her tightly. Her face was hurried in the crook of Luna’s neck, blonde hair that was longer than the last time they’d met by inches smothering her.

Eventually, they let go of each other knowing that the hallway was both extremely cold and not the most private place for a reunion. “Harry’s been worrying.” Ginny said once she’d closed the door again, looking over to where the other girl was stood, fingers tracing the intricate wooden pattern of her kitchen table.

“He always worries.” She shrugged, looking up at Ginny with twinkling eyes. “You carved this, right?” Ginny nodded, knowing she was talking about the table. “I could tell. You don’t leave a signature, but your method... it’s very you. Beautiful.”

Ginny fought of a blush. She didn’t know quite what Luna meant by that but she didn’t have to. The words sent her spiralling anyway, even when she knew they were a compliment like most of Luna’s other ones. Vague, ambiguous. They could mean any number of things and whatever someone thought she meant it was always something more obscure. For once it seemed pretty black and white. One thing or another.

“I’ve been worrying, Luna.” Ginny pressed, wanting to move her mind on from where it had been.

Luna’s eyes shut for a moment. “I know.” Merlin, how she knew. Ginny would always ask her to stay, one more night at least. Not once had Luna said no because if there was anyone she missed the most when she was away, it was Ginny. When she left she knew Ginny would spend the week after doing practically nothing but eating and sleeping. Draco had told her too many times that it killed her every time she left. “I’ve missed you so much.” Luna smiled at her.

Ginny could do nothing but return it. “Do you want food? Something to drink?”

“Water would be good, thanks.”

Luna watched her walk to the sink and turned to look at the mantelpiece above the large fireplace. There were a few framed photos of her and her family, Harry and Draco, then on the end one of Luna. It was a few years old now, she could tell from the way her hair fell just below her chin. She scrunched her nose slightly; that never had been her favourite hair cut. It looked as though Luna wasn’t aware of the photo being taken, but she knew she was. The day it was taken sat at the forefront of her mind constantly, though it had taken a moment for her to place the picture.

She was wearing these baggy patchwork dungarees and a t-shirt splattered with paint. She still owned the outfit, buried somewhere in her bag. They’d been painting the furniture Ginny had bought for her bedroom. Covering them all in white paint before Luna asked if she could add on some patterns. Patterns became flowers, mostly sunflowers climbing up the headboard of the bed, and daffodils in grass along the bottom of the footboard. The furniture all matched and by the end they were both covered in paint. Some on their noses and clothes and ankles. It was one of Luna’s favourite memories.

Ginny tapped Luna’s shoulder gently to pull her out of the memory. She’d seen the photo Luna was gazing at but also the glassy look in her eyes. They’d both gone over that day a thousand times without discussing it. “Water.” Ginny smiled.

“Thanks.” Luna took the glass. “Had you been asleep long.”

“Barely. About half three I got to sleep. Harry and Draco left at two.”

Luna nodded slowly, biting the inside of her cheek gently.

“If you’d seen their car would you have come in?” Ginny said quietly, hand finding Luna’s free one between them without saying anything about it.

“Good question. Wish I knew the answer. Probably not.”

“You don’t like them asking loads of questions.”

“And you do?” Luna laughed faintly, the ghost of what her laugh used to be, when they were teenagers in school who didn’t realise their young bliss would end the way it did.

“Good point. Draco’s better than Harry. Even if he knows there’s something going on that you aren’t saying, he leaves it be until you’re ready to say it. If you’re ready to say it.” Ginny was thinking of what she’d said earlier, the way he’d looked through her and seen what her words were going to be before she caught herself. Now Luna was looking her over in an equally perceptive way.

She smiled. “Merlin, he’s really got his head screwed on these days. When we were younger he might as well have been walking on the ceiling.” Somehow when Luna threw out things like that Ginny felt better, like they hadn’t changed in the past eleven years since the war had ended. Even if she knew Luna said things like that just so people worried less about her, thought she was just as happy as she had been in school, it made Ginny feel at home.

“I don’t know. It was less like he was walking on the ceiling more walking on every surface and hoping one of them was right.” She mused, pretending just as much as Luna. They both held their serious expressions for a moment before bursting out laughing. The words were barely something Luna would say now, let alone Ginny and somehow that made them grin. “I’ve missed you, Luna.” Ginny said when they were both standing upright again with easy smiles on their faces. The kitchen had been heavy with an abundance of feelings that were nowhere near the elation she usually felt when Luna returned since Harry had arrived but now, finally, she felt happy.

The look on Luna’s face changed, barely noticeable but it was there. “You have no idea.” Was all she replied before moving onto another topic. Where she’d been in the past four months, the crazy animals she’d encountered and drawn in her sketch book. The excitement in her voice as she spoke of the mermaids she’d met in China with beautiful tails made of red scales and fins that were so thin they were translucent but still strong and gorgeous. She said she’d labelled many of the diagrams and managed to expand her dialect by communicating with a colony in another country.

At five in the morning, the sun was up, and they were sat at the kitchen table. Words had recently stopped flowing but the silence was comfortable. They were sat beside each other, Luna’s left hand and Ginny’s right resting on the table interlocked. Luna’s thumb was gently smoothing over the back of Ginny’s hand. The touch was the only thing keeping her awake. Eventually, they stood up, walking slowly to Ginny’s room, hands swinging between them easily.

Luna pulled her trunk from her pocket and waved her wand, reversing the charm that held it so small. She moved it to a corner of the room so it wasn’t in the way and pulled out some pyjamas. “I’ll be back in a minute.” Ginny had already tucked herself under the covers when she spoke and a fond smile took over her face. A few minutes later she returned to the room wearing a pyjamas Ginny had given her a few years ago, and sat on the side of the bed, taking out her earrings before lying down beneath the duvet.

The slow steady breathing beside her lead Luna to believe Ginny was already asleep, so she rolled over to face the window. Apparently, she’d been wrong, as a few minutes later Ginny took a deep breath, holding it for a second. Searching for words. “Last time...” she began, “last time you were here you said there’d be a time you wouldn’t leave.”

Luna bit her lip, she’d thought Ginny was asleep when she’d said that. “I did.” She rolled back over to face Ginny’s back again, only to come face to face with her. That had surprised her as she hadn’t felt the bed shift or heard the sheets move. Ginny said nothing, but through the darkness she could see a question resting in her eyes. “You’re asking if this is it.” It wasn’t a question, maybe Luna had meant it to be one but by the time the words were out she couldn’t tell.

“You hate it when people ask you to stay.” Ginny muttered, hand finding Luna’s under the covers as if hoping it would stop her leaving.

“Not you.” Luna breathed, removing her hand from Ginny’s grip and moving it to rest on her cheek, brushing strands of red hair back.

“Still, I don’t want to scare you away by asking things you can’t answer. There are so many things I need to say, have needed to say for years, luna, but I haven’t. I can’t, because—“

Luna shuffled closer to Ginny on her side and pressed their lips together gently. The reaction she felt was immediate, Ginny melted. The quickened breaths that had been leaving her stopped completely for a second and then the touch was gone. When Luna next spoke, she had rested their foreheads together. “You won’t scare me away.”

They fell asleep like that, the space between them non existent, hands on faces and foreheads touching, the air they breathed mingling together.

[comicteaparty]

January 15th-January 21st, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from January 15th, 2020 to January 21st, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What sort of merchandise are you most likely to buy for webcomics you read and why?

carcarchu

does a physical copy of the book count as merch? nothing compares to the feel of a real book in your hands and watching my collection grow is so satisfying. i like having a tangible way to show my support. after that is small prints. i rarely see acrylic charms of webcomic characters but those are nice too

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I know I'm particularly weak for enamel pins - which happen to be the first major merch I made for my first time tabling at a con. They're definitely the most common thing for me to consider purchasing from others. I also like small prints and stickers! And if a particularly cute character is somehow made into a plush... I'd be all over that, too.

Cronaj

For me, I love physical comics. So if a webcomic creator made a physical print version of their comic, that would be the best way to entice me to buy something. Comics almost always look better on paper in my opinion, and I'm a weirdo when it comes to book smell I sniff new books like an absolute degenerate. The other thing I would buy is art prints or art books. I have a huuuuge collection of art prints from creators I admire. So keep 'em comin'! I mean, I'll buy any merch that calls to me, but usually if I can't put it on a shelf, hang it on the wall, or wear it, I probably have no use for it.

Capitania do Azar

I'm a big fan of physical copies and charms of all kinds! I also appreciate stickers and small prints (big prints are nice, but take up a lot of space). Zines with side stories or related/concept art are also a good choice

keii4ii

Storage is a big issue for me, so I tend to not buy physical books unless like... it's a comic I would love to read but can't do so online easily (e.g. if the website doesn't function properly on my computer) I really like prints that have qualities/features that can't be replicated digitally -- e.g. foil, holo coating, VERY special paper texture, etc. (I've even seen one artist offer lenticular prints which I thought was awesome -- just wasn't into the characters that were on the art) Small to medium sized prints are fairly easy to store, so that's also a big plus for me! Also, clear plastic folders? I've never bought them admittedly, but those can look SO nice with the right type of art (some artworks look so special when printed on that clear material). I wish more people offered them so I could actually buy these, but I understand they can be costly to print.

Tired Programmer

I would buy physical copies as well. About the storage issue... Well, when I understand, that there are too many of them for my humble bookcase, I just sell or give old ones away. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And also stickers. Stickers rock. (edited)

SAWHAND

I agree! If I really like the comic I like to have a physical copy! It feels special since I think a lot of times they're limited printing. I also really like stickers since they can just get put on something I already have and thus not take up extra space. I generally don't get prints because wall space is at a premium and I feel silly not having them hung up, but that's just a personal preference. Other than that it would have to be something really cool or something with function, like a notebook or...I don't know, an apron, or maaaybe a t-shirt.

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Printed comics are definitely my go to fav especially if it's a webcomic I've been really wanting to read but haven't had the time to do it online. Sitting down with a book is a lot easier for me that sitting with my phone or pulling my laptop out. I do also like stickers a lot. I've really gotten into covering the inside covers of my sketchbooks with them the last few years X)

kayotics

I usually go for printed books, pins, or plushies. If there’s a Kickstarter happening I’ll usually splurge for a pin tier if it exists. I don’t use stickers that much but I know a lot of people love them? But it’s not my thing.(edited)

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Usually printed books and phone charms. I will always buy webcomics that go to print and I collect charms. Other things like stickers and pins are nice, but often too pricey. I will go for them when they're bundled into KS tiers with printed books, though.

varethane

Printed books for me! Sometimes stickers, and sometimes enamel pina

Pins

I dont tend to get prints because I wont really do anything with them

(But my prints tend to sell decently, so there is a market for them out there...)

keii4ii

I just like collecting prints! I don't even put them on my wall, I just stick them in a binder kind of like my own custom-curated artbook

I really like seeing the combination of certain artworks and certain paper textures!

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

omg Kei...why have I not thought of that ?? I will now do that for all the print i've collected gosh!! and I agree with Vare, books are top tier merch I go for (zines included) Prints are a second for me, with charms and pins being the thing i least go for bc of space (though I am seeing pin boards come into fashion and I'm def into doing that as well!)

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I do really love pins too, I'm just really bad at remembering to wear them. I probably should get myself one of those clear back packs con goers wear.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

oh yes ita bags!

varethane

The problem with me wearing pins is that I normally bike everywhere, while wearing a backpack

So if I put them on a jacket, the straps of the bag will rub on most of the good pin locations

And if they fall off while I'm riding my bike they are lost forever

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I tried putting pins on my backpack for a while.... only to come home and realise they fell off at some point during the day.

varethane

Yeah :(

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Ita bag! Yes! Lol I'm always super scared that my pins will just break and I'll loose them X') so when I do remember to wear one I'm constantly checking to make sure it's still on me

varethane

I have one jacket that I've been putting most of my pins on, which I wear to conventions

And it did pretty well except my rice boy pin fell off somewhere in the Seattle airport and is now lost forever :(

Betrayal......

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i have def...super glued pins to my backpack before and the rubber backings are so bad for pins too bc they never hold

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Oh, patches are another thing, like pins, that I love but usually have to stop myself from getting. I need to find a good patch jacket, because I really love a patch. I've been wanting to make one for my own comic merch for a while too.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ohhh yes same-- i stll have patches that i havent done anything yet with bc i haven't found The Right Jacket

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Same TuT

Eightfish

I've got the Property of Hate tarot postcards up on my wall right now. Also partial to a good enamel pin. What I'd love to see in merch is a well designed, stylish shirt, but haven't really found that so far. I find webcomic shirts tend to be too detailed and illustration-y to look good as shirts, and would prefer something more graphic.

Q @CecilieQMT making WAYFINDERS

I'd love to design shirts! Just haven't figured out how to get them printed properly... ^^'

RebelVampire

For me, it's digital copies. So PDFs and eBooks. Unlike many people here, I can't stand print copies for a myriad of reasons. XD But digital copies I can get behind cause it supports the artist, has some nice bonus stuff sometimes, and generally collects everything nicely so some website hiccups aren't a problem. While this has never come up because it's rare, I would also buy plushies. Cause one can never have enough plushies. But alas, I don't think the market is there for that XD

kayotics

Plushies are just really hard to produce and store, same with T-shirts

Well, T-shirts aren’t that hard to produce, but they’re hard to store and keep a good amount of sizes

Mei

I tend to buy books/physical copies of webcomics I like! I really enjoy the physical reading experience! I also really like buying enamel or non-enamel pins. I enjoy collecting them, but going off what people have already said, I also have an innate fear of losing them :(

AntiBunny

If it has a cute character, and the price is in my budget, plushies are awesome. Unfortunately that's a difficult one to do, because small batches of plush that are build by hand are going to be expensive, and a comic has to be very popular to warrant more economical large runs. And I'll also say physical books.

Mei

plushies ARE awesome

I got the coyote plushie from Tom, the guy who does Gunnerkrigg Court

I just really love it

and also I couldn't decide which of the MANY volumes of comics to buy

(i didn't and still don't have space to stock up on a lot of books so I must be prudent sometimes)

((but my bed always has space for plushies))

[em-be-lievable]

Hello!! Whereith thou get thee cool punked clothing? Ith would like to dress as cool as thou

Y’all gotta stop enabling me with my special interests- I WILL write you novels.

This is gonna be a whole thing, so sit your butt down and prepare to listen to me yell for ten years. 

This question is literally different depending on what I’m wearing- but my clothes fall into three schools of fashion which I’ll refer to ‘Statement makers’ ‘Essentials’ and ‘Accents.’ 

THE STATEMENT MAKERS: 

These are the pieces that make strangers want to start arguments that they can’t win on the streets with me XD I have 4 in total: Though each one is a work in process. “Where does get one of these fine pieces?” You may be asking yourself? “Surely there is a hot topic-esque store that must provide such items!” The long and short is no, there isn’t. You gotta make these yourself.

So how you do that?

Step one: Start with a base.I like to keep these relatively cheap bc A: I’m broke, and B: This way I can put a little more money into ‘accents’ (which I’ll explain more about later) First you need that base- a good garment that will hold up to your daily life and tolerate the abuse you’re about to put it through. What I do is go to my local thrift store, or good will (not salvation army. F*ck the salvation army) and get one second hand. The vest and the leather jacket above ran me a total of 20$ instead of the 100$ you’d waste if you bought it from Big Business (and also f*ck them too for killing the environment and the economy) Be heckin’ thrifty and crafty with it- you’re essentially purchasing your canvas so don’t be afraid to scrounge. 

Step two: Gather your men.And by men, I mean the sh!t you’re gonna adhere to this beast. A good place for pins/patches? Etsy. Theres literally millions of options you can get from small businesses and independent artists all over the world and they’re usually pretty cheap: Ranging anywhere from 1$ (plus shipping) to 15$ for big back pieces. Literally every single patch that wasn’t gifted or I didn’t make was purchased via etsy. Which brings me to my second option for pins and patches: Make them. You can get a button maker if you’re feeling frisky- or just go to a f*ck ton of rallies and accommodate them from there. Patches can easily be made with a scrap of black fabric and some white fabric paint. At my local WalMart a yard of plain black cotton fabric will run you about 3$ and will get you 10-20 patches depending on the size. The paint will run you about 1.50$ and an afternoon of your time just grinding away at it. 

And if you’re Extra Edgy™ like me- you’re gonna need some heckin SPIKES. Spikes are surprisingly easy to come by and add to your pieces- I get the little screw on ones: on Etsy it’ll run you about 10$ for 100 of them- or if you’re okay with it, use amazon and get 500 for 8$ (As much as I’m not a fan of big business, I can understand the need to go with the cheapest option.) 

Step three: Just literally throw that sh!t together.This is the fun part: Making it your own. This way no one has the same sh!t as you and you can wear your pride on your sleeve, back, chest ect-Small words of wisdom: -Iron on patches are weak. They’re not going to stay on for long. Just surrender to the fact you’re going to have to sew that sh!t on now and save yourself the heartache. -If you get/make flimsy fabric patches, you’re gonna need interfacing. You can also buy this at walmart for around 4$ a yard and it’ll save you so much goddamn trouble. -There is no way in the freshest of hells you’re going to be able to sew on a patch to a leather jacket. Just scrap that notion now- it’s not going to happen. So what can you do? Aleene’s super fabric glue. Literally the jaws of life aren’t gonna be enough to rip that patch off your jacket if you use it. Idk who Aleene sold her soul to to get such sticky sh!t but I stan her for it forever. -Don’t be afraid to paint directly onto your items. It’s so much f*cking fun. Just do it.-If you’re gonna make this a whole hobby/lifestyle you might want to consider investing in a sewing machine. You’ll never know true agony until you spend days hand sewing on a back piece stitch-by-stitch only to realize it’s crooked when it’s done. At least if you use a machine it’ll be 5-10 minutes of work lost as apposed to literal hours. 

THE ACCENTS: 

This is where you’re gonna throw the money you saved by thrifting your statements. These are the splurges, that one shirt with the funny logo you have saved in your bookmark bars, that impulse buy at the mall. The pricier things that you’re just not gonna be able to make yourself and would rather ask for for your birthday/christmas/whenever you’d be receiving presents.

So, as for MY guilty pleasure spots: 

WildBlackSheep on Etsy. What can I say? I love an independent bish. And their shirts are just so witty and funny, I love them to death and back. Not to mention the customer service is UNREAL. 10/10 would recommend to a friend.

WickedClothes.com. I’m just a dead ringer for combining that 80′s cartoon style with my morbid sense of humor. The ‘Let’s Have A Seance’ ringer tee is one of my favorite shirts. 

JohnnyCupcakes. Literally theres like one design, but it’s a design I love. If the cupcake with crossbones doesn’t convey who I am as a person, idk what does.

BlackCraftCult.com. Now, I’m not a satanist- but I’m extremely supportive of the ideals that neosatanism has. (Which is essentially just believing in yourself and not being an assh*le) Plus, satanist or not, the designs are dope. 

angryyoungandpoor.com. So, you want a particular piece of ‘punk’ fashion that can only be bought, but you don’t want to pay full price for it. This is your stop. It’s discount classic punk fair to find all your favorite brands at not full prices, plus more. The website can be like a goddamn maze but I’m sure every punk will find something they like there.

And theres so much more, but I’ll be here all day just getting down EVERYWHERE I buy clothes XD These are just my favorite brands, and the ones I frequent most to treat myself. 

THE ESSENTIALS: 

Now for last, but not least- literally the staples. The basics. The things every person who ever wears clothes ever needs. The foundation to lay all your accessories and statements upon to get a good cohesive look on you and have you feeling completely punkified. Find these literally anywhere that works best for you: Goodwill, Target, Walmart, whatever. It doesn’t matter as long as you have these staples to build upon your punky exterior. 

The shopping list:

-Black pants. Everyone and their mother needs just one good pair of plain black pants. They just go well with literally anything and are a dope addition to an edgy exterior. If you’ve got the funds and the time, I’d highly recommend finding one pair that fits you well and buying two of them- Keep one as normal but then take a couple of serrated knives and sandpaper to the other and give yourself some distressed pants. (Afterall, why on Gaia’s green earth would I buy PRE RIPPED JEANS when I’m the proud purveyor of my own destruction?)

Jeans.Same as the first for better or worse: You need a nice pair of jeans. I’d recommend doing the same shtick with the black pants and getting one pair to keep and one pair to rip up.

Plain black t-shirt.Literally get your butt to a dollar tree and get yourself a plain black t-shirt or two. You have no idea how useful it is to pair with your clothes. Just do it.

Plain white t-shirt.See above.

Boots.Combat boots just make the outfit. You may want to invest in a nice long-wear pair since shoes can be kinda expensive and you want a lot of milage for your buck. I’m a big fan of classic Docs bc they last FOREVER and are just good shoes. And if you’re not big on animal made items good news: They come in Vegan now. 

Converse.They’re just good shoes what can I say? It’s classic, it’s comfortable, it’s always been around and it’ll always be around. You can get them in all kinds of styles and colors- like why do I even need to explain to you why converse are a good idea? I bet 5$ you already own a pair! They’re also great running shoes in case you need to flee from cops if need be, in my experience.

And from there you can mix and match with jewelry (in the face or otherwise) and hair to get a whole look! Hope this helps my darling!! Best of luck with punking it up!!! 

[sweetbfs]

as a trans guy i get p dysphoric about my clothes, and ive tried wearing “””guy””” jeans for a while now but i dont think they help me much as passing bc im rather short (5’1”) so they tend to look a little baggy or loose especially when i sit down and i know clothes dont matter but some part of me tells me im not really trying when i want to wear my old jeans that actually fit :// (i also feel bad that my mom buys me jeans n i barely wear them) (i do enjoy the larger pockets tho)

as a trans guy with huge hips and a tiny waist, i’ve had so much trouble finding jeans that fit. not all guys jeans will look masc on you, and not all “girls” jeans will look fem on you. imo the best types of jeans are high waisted, plus if they’re too long i just cuff the ends up once or twice for added Gay Artsy look. in addition, the only thing you can do is try on guys jeans until you find the type right for you. belts help a lot, and you can find cheap and durable ones at h&m or target. as for “girls” jeans, try high waisted styles a size or two up. they should be baggy enough so they’re not skin tight, but not too baggy/loose. tbh i’ve had better luck w “girls” jeans, but you never know! try target, h&m, forever21, or old navy/gap. and don’t feel bad, at the end of the day it’s fabric and some types won’t always make your body look masc. good luck bud! - mod andy

Hey, I´m 5´1 and I have the exact same problem ! The thing about jeans is that you need to look for the right cut. Also, a good rule of thumb is that women´s run small and men´s run large - us short guys wanna aim right down the middle. If I´m in the women´s section I always look for boyfriend, straight leg, or relaxed fit jeans. In the men´s/boys sections, I look for skinny, tapered, sometimes bootlegs, or I try on enough jeans to find something that works.

Find something that can stay up without a belt, but fits perfectly when wearing one. Belts are a really ”masculine” accessory that not only can help you keep from looking frumpy, but that add a streamlined and professional look to your outfit as well. This is a tangent, but I´ve discovered (due to private school dress codes) the magic of belts as of late, and I´d recommend all guys out there pick up 2 belts - one brown, one black (there are some cheap & plain ones at Walmart - just make sure they fit). Also, it´s conventional to match your belt color to your dress shoe color. If you ain´t wearing leather shoes, you can forget about that.

Back to pants ! A fact of life for shorter guys is ill-fitting pant legs. For jeans, the easy way out it to cuff them, James Dean style. Rolled up legs don´t stick out or look frumpy so long as you style them right and that the cut of the jeans allows for a cuff that hangs closer to your legs rather than looking like Kevin Smith´s jorts. If you´re going the cuffing route, cuff them while trying them on in the store to make sure they look alright. If you think cuffing looks bad, you´re gonna have to have them altered.

Altering jeans isn´t as scary as it sounds. The easiest way is to just measure out the right amount and cut them off. It gives a worn and frayed look to the denim, as well as ensuring that you don´t trip on the long legs. If you hate the frayed denim trend, either you or a family member/friend are gonna have to seam the new pant legs - either by hand or by sewing machine. I´m rusty with my sewing skills, but there are plenty of youtube videos that can walk you through the process better than I can. If you don´t have that option, find a local tailor. Taking up pant legs is one of, if not the, easiest alterations out there, so it shouldn´t cost you much.

I know you only mentioned jeans, but I´m going to talk about slacks as well (sorry, like I said, I´m a private school kid). I never wore slacks before this year, aka my first year at Catholic school. They aren´t for everybody, I´ll tell you that much, but I´d recommend at least trying out one pair, preferably cheaply made and without a liner. Again, I get all of mine from walmart. It all depends on your fashion sense, but because my fashion sense lies along the lines of ivy-league dropout, slacks work great for me. Even if you´d never touch slacks with a 10-foot pole for street clothes, they work great whenever you´re going to someplace snazzy and want to avoid the possibility of having only skirts or dresses to wear, so try and find one pair that fits and you think are half decent. As my grandma said: better to have them and not need them, than to need them and not have them.

Because slacks aren´t denim, there aren´t many skinny-jean-like slacks in the women´s section - most are more relaxed. The men´s section tends to have slacks that run wider in the ass than most men´s jeans, at least from what I´ve noticed, so do be mindful of that as well. You can cuff slacks, but tbh I never do and always have mine altered. I´m just the opposite with jeans, if you were curious.

As for where to shop, I can´t recommend thrift stores enough. They´re cheap and have great selection, as well as it´s easier to convince parents to let you try on clothes there that they would think are silly (ie clothes that go along with your gender identity) then it is at a Macy´s or something, at least from my experiences. Also - Walmart is great (g-d knows I´ve plugged them enough in this post), but I also wanna mention Target. While Xmas shopping for my dad, I bought myself a nice dress shirt from their brand Goodfellows that fit great for being a men´s dress shirt, which are usually a nightmare for me. They looked to have some really nice stylish pants that I´d recommend peeping.

I had the same problem with guilt over unworn feminine clothes. Talk to your parents about your clothes ! Tell them that your fashion sense has been evolving as of late, or you want to try the current trend of more relaxed pants. It´s annoying, but it keeps them from buying clothes that make you feel dysphoric, and help improve your chances of your parents buying you clothes that you actually like ! Though I don´t celebrate Christmas, my mother got me clothes that I loved this year as a gift. Last year I hated every piece of clothing she got me, but everything this year was wonderful and masculine, and even though we have to go back to the store because nothing fit (lol), I was genuinely really happy with my clothes.

And clothes do matter. Since coming to the conclusion that I was trans, I gradually changed both my closet and my body language over the past years and they´ve helped me pass a lot better. Despite being 5´1, skinny as a rail, and a junior, I had everyone at my Catholic school (correctly) assuming I was a boy, and (incorrectly) assuming I was a freshman for a good 2 weeks at the beginning of the school year ! Passing doesn´t matter at all, unless passing makes you feel better. It´s a shitty, cisnormative ideal that can be easy to reach sometimes, and impossible to reach other times. But if passing helps alleviate dysphoria for you, as it does for me and a ton of other trans people, then I wish you all the best ! Oh, also, get a watch ! Don´t ask me why it works, I honestly have no idea, but I swear it made me pass like a dream when I started wearing one. Get a decent, gender neutral/manly watch that´s at least medium on the size scale between tiny ”women´s” and giant ”men´s” watches, and you pass SO much better. Drop $20 at, of course, walmart, hit up the jewelry section of your local thrift shop, ask your parents if they have any you might like - just get one.

It´s like 1am here and I spent ages typing out that monster of an answer, I hope that helps and is somewhat cohesive. G´night anon, good luck with your pants !

- Mod Llewellyn

[athleisure-aesthetic]

This is a long post because I went on a few rants, but there are workouts and stuff in there, I promise ;) stay tuned for commentary on vanity sizing and non-scale victories!

April 13 Thursday’s workout was super speedy. Legs and a quick stretching NTC workout. I meant to do curtsy lunges to finish it out, but I was crunched for time and my legs were already burning from the seasaw lunges and step-ups because my bench was higher than a normal one would be. I always get kind of frustrated when my NTC workout ends up being a lowkey stretching one, because I use it to replace cardio for the day. I’m starting to think I should either do more than one or just do cardio anyway. At least I got in a nice half hour walk at lunch; it was much colder than I was expecting since the rest of this week has been so nice! Still pretty out tho. And my skull shirt is badass. The end.

Went to Whole Foods with Ani when I got home to get some goodies for the weekend, and really stuck to my list (which I was proud of, bc that store is a literal TRAP) which included chocolate milk as a post-workout fuel… ASK ME HOW HYPE I AM TO START DRINKING CHOCO MILK AGAIN!!! (very. obviously.) Also started growing a mini protein bar collection because now I’m terrified of not properly fueling post-workout, so now I’m going to have very little excuse not to, since these babies are extremely portable. Just throw one in ya workout bag, and there you go. Don’t even have to remember to get it from my lunch box. I’m finally trying RXBAR and a few Quest Bar flavors (shoutout to @runningwhilenotdying for the suggestion, ty girl!) for now, in addition to the Luna Protein bars I still have. Still going to have to try a few to find out which works best for me.

Legs / butt workout 3x each 15 reps weighted glute bridges, 10# 15 reps goblet squats, 10# 20 reps step ups, alt. sides, 10# 20 reps seasaw lunges, alt. sides 15 reps weighted lying leg curls, 6# 40 s wall sits 10 reps burpee + high jump alternating leg swing stretches instead of curtsy lunges bc I’m a wimpy bitch lol

Listening to: “Under You” by Nick Jonas

April 14 Today is the day John Mayer’s full album is out, something I realized halfway through Friday morning while working from home, so I blasted the FUCK out of it in my apartment and haven’t stopped listening since. Ani took the day off, so it was just me at home designing, which is literally what I wish every work day of my life could be. Making my own schedule, eating and working out whenever I want and not having to worry about when I’m going to finish, not having to talk to people lol.

I decided to workout around 11ish and had to do arms / upper body without weights, which was a bit challenging considering my weak wrists and lack of free weights. BUT I made it, and my wrists weren’t ded afterwards, so I guess I’m building up some strength? Plus check out my schweaty knees, aren’t they purty? It was a dec workout, so hype it. HOWEVER, in the middle of my last set, this awful ringing started in my apartment, which I identified as the fire alarm after panicking for like 2 seconds. Then there was this weirdo announcement in our hallway as if we were in a damn dorm, saying to evacuate asap so I was like o fuck ok let me get my things. Ran outside with my purse and a jacket, ran into the woman who legit hates me and Ani for being loud on the weekend two whole times (fuck her tho it was a Friday and Saturday at like 11pm get your panties out of your ass amirite) and she was like idk what’s going on I’m probably not going downstairs. I was like ????? um if there’s a fire I’m not dying so bye. So I ran down 8 flights of stairs to find no one in the lobby. Sick. It was a false. Alarm. Bc they’re doing construction right in front of the elevators. Motherfuckers. So I had to go back up 8 flights of stairs once I got the approval from the doorman. Thx for the cardio break, how’d you know I needed that? 🙄 Finished my set, worked for a bit longer, then showered and decided I was done working for the day lol.

It was pay day and I was bored so I kinda went a little nuts on a shopping trip. As usual, I mostly bought athleisure, buuuuuuuuuuut there are some significant things about this shopping trip that I must share.

1: I willingly purchased two pairs of athletic shorts. I do not wear anything but leggings to workout in, because I hate the way my legs look, and I usually feel much more mobile and flexible in leggings, even if it’s like 90 degrees out and July. But I tried on two pairs of black shorts, and could actually see myself not only wearing them like to bed, but like… doing active things in them, and being ok with seeing my legs. First #NONSCALEVICTORY o the day.

2: I not only willingly tried on a one piece bathing suit, I tried on two, AND I purchased one. Every person alive knows too well the personal torture of trying on bathing suits, especially in dressing rooms that have awful fluorescent lighting that does not flatter anyone. But for some reason I was in a good mood about my bod (perhaps after the shorts win), so I grabbed two suits and said to myself, fuck it, don’t feel bad about yourself, but do not get your hopes up. This could go great, or it could not. Don’t let this be a reflection of how hard you’ve been working. It might just not fit, that’s not your fault. BUT THEY BOTH FIT REALLY DECENTLY OK. The one was like bright red and v scandalous and tbh I did not have the boobs to fill out that sucker. So despite it fitting ok, I couldn’t go with it. But the other was stripey and rouchey and pretty comfortable, so I was like welp. I need at least one suit for the summer, and can’t picture myself using any of the ones from last summer, and I don’t feel like total crap in this. So. I bought it!

3: I purchased at least one thing of every size (S, M, L, and XL), which proves that sizing is fake and literally doesn’t fucking matter. I like all my tops a little baggy and all of my bottoms tight (except those shorts I ended up getting, but who knew I would even buy shorts…). That’s just my personal preference style-wise. I went to four different stores, and ended up getting clothing that fit me, but when I was ripping the tags off when I got home, I noticed that all the sizes were different. I bought a shirt from Uniqlo (AMAZING STORE, btw, never been before today) that was a size small, which is something I haven’t done in like literally maybe 7-8 years. I also bought a cropped sweatshirt from Marshall’s in XL, even though I thought it was a large when I bought it. Either way, it’s not like my body morphed mid-shopping trip. I was the same size all day, but the stores decided I was all over the place. This just makes me a, hate the fashion industry for forcing this imaginary 00 system and ideals of size-shaming on us, but also b, feel better about myself because I know that I can’t be reliant on just being one size. I used to think of my weightloss in terms of pants sizes. Like last Friday when I was wearing actual pants, they were 12s. But like. A 12 at one store could be a 16 at another, or an 8. I used to say, oh I just want to be down to a consistent 8. That would be the perfect amount of weight to lose. If I get there, I’ll know that I’m good. But I’m really starting to see that that number and that size doesn’t exist. There is no universe in which an 8 at every store will fit the same. So judging yourself on a system that’s literally impossible to fit into is just a recipe for hurt and shame. So now I’m just gonna grab any size that looks like it’ll fit. It’s still not fun to see a higher number, but that’s going to be a mindset I have to get myself out of, and this post is proof that it doesn’t matter. I want to base my happiness with my fitness on phyiscal progress: what I can DO with my body, not just how it looks in the clothes I inevitably have to wear. But today, for a few reasons, I felt really good, and I’m proud to have seen not only one, but a few non-scale wins. Hype it the FUCK up.

Whew. That was a lot, sorry. I almost feel like a doing a ~haul~ like I’m on some fashion youtube channel, I bought so many fun things. But whatever, I doubt anyone cares about that except me lolol.

Honestly sometimes I think I just like to buy some things because I’m happy they fit me, not because I need them or are in love with them. Is that weird? I feel like I’m a pretty specific shape (very short and curvy, but not curvy everywhere), so when I find something I actually think fits me, I usually just say, yeah I’ll wear this. I definitely am spending too much money that way, but it’s nice to feel like a lot of things are fitting me well for once.

Arms / upper body workout 3x each 20 reps shoulder taps, alt. sides 10 reps pushups 20 reps walk outs + twist, alt. sides 10 reps tricep dips 50 reps arm circles forward 50 reps arm circles backward 20 reps lat pull downs + shoulder squeeze 35s, 40s, 45s plank 10 reps decline push ups 10 reps burpee + high jump + 5 jumping jacks PLUS 8 flights of stairs when my fucking fire alarm went off and the elevator didn’t work 🙃

Listening to: “Burlesque” by Christina Aguilera OR the Voices in Your Head a cappella version, both are fun

April 15 I was hella nervous for my run today; 6 miles seemed like a lot to me, and after last week’s long run on the treadmill, it had been a while since I’d done a long one outside. The last time I finished a long run outside, I felt like death. So this time I wanted to be really prepared; I read some articles and youtube videos on how to run longer without like dying, and made sure to focus on my breathing and warmup. Once I left my apartment, I didn’t start my timed run for about 10ish minutes but still ran slow to get my legs ready. Then I did some of the moves from the videos, and set off. Today I went towards the art museum and Kelly Drive for the first time, which was definitely busy for a Saturday morning, but it was kinda gray out and mid-50s which is like perfect running weather. I felt really good for like literally the whole run, and I couldn’t tell if it was the new place, good music, or what, but I was surprised at how quickly the miles came and went. I stopped at 4.56 miles to take the picture in front of the art museum, walked briskly up the hill to the building, then ran the rest of the way on the rest of the Schuykill River Trail and back towards home. I finished a little ways away from home and was inspired by a boy who seemed to be blind or albino who was running with a small leash with a girl, and continued jogging all the way home. So I really totalled something like 7.10 miles and they felt GREAT which is INSANE for me. Like that’s so many miles. And I haven’t run that far in so long, and they actually felt GOOD??? Like who am I?

I rewarded myself with a cinnamon roll protein shake, a little more shopping (I ended up getting the black Nike Tanjuns for anyone who saw my post last night lol), and Chick-Fil-A nuggets for lunch. Was considering making this day a cheat day when I saw the Chick-Fil-A, but I was good and only got the nuggets. My resolve was tested when I saw a girl with a Rita’s cup right when I got home and I wanted to be like OMG GIRL WHERE IS THERE A RITA’s AROUND HERE???!??! But clearly I held myself back.

Guess that means more Easter chocolate for me tomorrow hayyyyyy

6.02 mi 10'20" min / mi

Listening to: “Hair” by Little Mix