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innerchilddailywrk · 4 years

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25 Signs You Have a Wounded Inner Child

Feeling Safe Inner Child image

Pay close attention to these signs. They will help you learn the general extent to which your inner child has been wounded and the level to which you feel unsafe in this world. The more signs you say “yes” to, the more you need to seriously consider inner child work:

In the deepest part of me, I feel that there’s something wrong with me.

I experience anxiety whenever contemplating doing something new.

I’m a people-pleaser and tend to lack a strong identity.

I’m a rebel. I feel more alive when I’m in conflict with others.

I tend to hoard things and have trouble letting go.

I feel guilty standing up for myself.

I feel inadequate as a man or woman.

I’m driven to always be a super-achiever.

I consider myself a terrible sinner and I’m afraid of going to hell.

I constantly criticize myself for being inadequate.

I’m rigid and perfectionistic.

I have trouble starting or finishing things.

I’m ashamed of expressing strong emotions such as sadness or anger.

I rarely get mad, but when I do, I become rageful.

I have sex when I don’t really want to.

I’m ashamed of my bodily functions.

I spend too much time looking at pornography.

I distrust everyone, including myself.

I am an addict or have been addicted to something.

I avoid conflict at all costs.

I am afraid of people and tend to avoid them.

I feel more responsible for others than for myself.

I never felt close to one or both of my parents.

My deepest fear is being abandoned and I’ll do anything to hold onto a relationship.

I struggle to say “no.”

If you answered yes to ten or more of these statements, working with your inner child should be at the top of your priority list. If you answered yes to five or more of these statements, you should seriously consider reconnecting with your inner child.

How to Support Your Inner Child in Feeling Safe

Inner child healing image

Hold the hand of the child that lives in your soul. For this child, nothing is impossible. – Paulo Coelho

We all have an inner child. When was the last time you spoke or connected with yours? How often do you take the time to tune in and listen to your needs? Do you regularly make space to play and enjoy life?

As human beings, we are not linear or two-dimensional creatures. We are all multi-faceted and have multiple selves. Think about it for a moment: the ‘you’ currently reading this article is very different from the ‘you’ joking around with colleagues, isn’t it? The ‘you’ in the middle of the night is very different from the ‘you’ going to the movies with your partner or friend. The ‘you’ talking to your parents is very different from the ‘you’ talking with your boss.

Your inner child is an essential part of the intricate patchwork that makes up your identity. When you ignore or deny your inner child, he/she is doomed to wither away within the deep dark vaults of your unconscious mind.

Disclaimer: there is so much pain to be faced with inner child work. But there is also so much joy and so much vitality to be experienced. One of the most exciting and miraculous parts of inner child work is that often hidden gifts and aptitudes that we’ve long lost touch with emerge. Not only that, but many of our relationships improve, our addictions/habits lessen or fade away, and our connection with ourselves deepens. Self-love and acceptance are finally possible. I’m not saying you will experience all of these benefits right away, but you will most certainly experience something beneficial so long as you’re committed!

Also, I want to say here that these exercises are not intended to replace therapy, programs or groups for the inner child or child abuse. If you’ve gone through child sexual abuse, severe emotional abuse, or have a mental illness, seeking professional help is essential. This article is only meant to be a supplement. Finally, if you experience strange or overwhelming emotions while practicing the advice below, please stop immediately. Seek the help of a professional counselor before proceeding.

Remember that everything takes time. The practices below are not quick fixes. They’re not sparkly wands that will immediately make everything better. But they will give you the basic tools you need for feeling safe, secure, and protected at a core level. I truly hope you find something below that will nourish you and your relationship with your inner child. And remember, if you need more in-depth help, I recommend finding more inner child healing exercises in our Inner Child Journal.

Here are the summarized points:

Reflect on the timeline of your childhood

Write a letter to your inner child

Write a letter from your inner child

Share your pain with a trusted person

Loving and supportive affirmations

Do an inner child visualization/meditation

Be your own protector and nurturer

I’ll go more in-depth into these points below:

1. Reflect on the timeline of your childhood

You might like to get a piece of paper or document on your computer and divide your childhood into the following stages: Infant Self (0-9 months), Toddler Self (9 months to 3 years), Preschool Self (3-6 years), and School-Aged Self (6 years to puberty).

Within each stage, try your best to recall how you felt, what life was like, and how safe, supported, and accepted you felt. Keep in mind that feeling safe as a child didn’t always have to do with the family environment. Often the school or other environments that we spent a lot of time in shaped our inner child. Record any memories or physical sensations you had, even if they feel fragmented. Record the tones of voice, expressions, and words your parents or teaches used when interacting with you. Even if a memory seems silly or a reaction you remember having seemed excessive, please write it down. As an adult, it’s important to honor what your inner child authentically experienced, even if it seems ridiculous or exaggerated as an adult.

The more information and emotionally-charged material you have for a particular age range, the more you need to focus on connecting with that particular stage. I’ll share with you how below.

2. Write a letter TO your inner child

Imagine that you’re a wise, gentle, and loving wizard or fairy godmother. Imagine that you want to adopt your inner child. As you write the letter, tell your inner child how much you love them and want to spend time with them. Write in a way that makes you feel safe, cared for, and understood. Here’s an example from a letter I have written to my inner child:

Dear Little Ale,

I’m so happy you’re born. I am here to protect, love, and care for you. I want to help you feel loved and accepted for who you are. I want to show you that it’s safe to be heard, to feel, and to be seen. I want you to feel like you will always have a home with me no matter what. I want to help and guide you every step of the way. I love you so much.

Love, Fairy Godmother Aletheia

If you feel emotional during this process, it’s okay. Let yourself cry and be proud of your courage to express how you truly feel.

3. Write a letter FROM your inner child

Using your non-dominant hand (in order to bypass your logical side of the brain), write yourself a letter from the perspective of your inner child. For example, if you are usually right-handed, use your left hand to write. Using your non-dominant hand will help you get more in touch with the feelings of your inner child. Here is my own example of my inner child speaking to me:

Dear Godmother,

I want to find home. Please protect me. I don’t want to feel alone anymore.

Love, Little Ale

You can write back and forth between your Wizard/Fairy Godmother self and your little self. Creating this conversation often reveals a lot of surprising and buried emotions, and new information.

4. Share your pain with a trusted person

It is important that the pain you went through as a child is validated and heard by someone. Whether you seek out a caring friend, support group, or trusted therapist please understand that sharing your feelings is essential to all inner child work. Sure, you can do it alone. And you can do a lot of deep work alone in general. But in order to experience a ‘breakthrough’ or even just to heal deeply, sharing is important. We are social creatures who need others to hold space for us. Your pain needs to be lovingly validated. If the person you’re sharing your inner child work with is questioning, arguing, or trying to give advice to you, you’re not getting what you need!

Here, it is vital for me to emphasize the need to seek real caring and nurturing support. If you don’t have friends who are mature or capable enough of doing this, please consider finding a therapist or spiritual counselor. There are many affordable options out there. Investing in your well-being and mental health IS worth it. There are also many professionals out there who specialize in inner child work or hold workshops. Counselor and self-help writer John Bradshaw writes “I believe that group work is the most powerful form of therapy” when referring to inner child work. But one thing: please don’t share with your family members, even if they are caring. Family members who have not done their own inner child work are much less capable of dealing with yours. Defensiveness, anger, finger-pointing, and grief may result in sharing your feelings with family members, so please don’t do it.

Sharing takes tremendous courage and inner strength. It’s normal and okay to feel scared! Feel the fear, and if you feel ready, share anyway.

5. Loving and supportive affirmations

Loving affirmations are a powerful way to affirm your worthiness and support your journey in feeling safe. When repeated consistently, affirmations have a way of rewiring the brain and sinking down into unconscious layers of programming. Repeating such messages can result in deep change and healing at a primal level.

Here are some loving and supportive affirmations you can say to yourself throughout the day and during meditation:

I will stay here and support you.

Welcome to the world, I’ve been waiting to hold you.

I love you just the way you are.

I’m so glad you’re here.

I want to take care of you.

I want to spend time with you.

I want to hear your thoughts and feelings.

It’s OK to feel sad and scared.

It’s OK to be yourself.

You’re allowed to say no.

You are so special to me.

You have so much to offer the world.

I believe in you.

I will protect you against harm.

You can say these affirmations as many times as you need, whenever is necessary during the day. You might even like to use a special voice when saying these affirmations, such as the voice of a wise old man or a loving mother.

Also feel free to create your own loving affirmations! The list above will help you get started, but often the most powerful affirmations organically arise from your deepest needs.

6. Do an inner child visualization/meditation

You will need to dedicate about half an hour or more to this exercise. Find a quiet and comfortable space, and either sit or lie down.

Imagine that you are about to meet your inner child. You walk outside into your backyard and he/she is playing in a sandbox. What age is he/she? You walk up to your inner child and sit down. “Hello,” you might say, introducing yourself. You look into the eyes of your inner child. What is he/she feeling towards you? Curiosity? Trepidation? Shyness? Skepticism? Excitement? Respect your inner child and his/her boundaries. If he/she wishes to hug you or shake your hand, let that happen. If not, it’s okay. Your inner child may just need to warm up to you. You might next wish to ask, “What do you need the most?” If you are communicating with your infant self during this visualization, the response might come as a visceral feeling as opposed to communicating with your school-aged self who might respond verbally. If your inner child tells you what they need, provide a safe space for them. Let them feel heard, seen, understood, and loved by you. You might like to share with them how much you love and care for them, and wish them to be cared for. If your inner child wishes to be cradled, hugged, or held, embrace the opportunity. Once you feel that your mission to connect with your inner child has been completed, you can visualize yourself walking back into your house. Focus on your breathing, stretch your body, and open your eyes.

I recommend journaling about the experience. Journaling is a wonderful tool for self-reflection, deepening your self-understanding, and also serving as a way to document your progress. So take a few minutes to do it!

7. Be your own protector and nurturer

As adults, it’s important that we take responsibility for our emotional well-being. Feeling safe in this world is extremely important and essential for our inner child to thrive. Signs that you feel unsafe in this world may include:

Constant anxiety around others

Tendency to worry excessively

Inability to trust others

Inability to trust yourself and your abilities

Feeling afraid to do things by yourself

Harsh criticism of yourself

Fear of trying new things or going to new places

Assuming the worst in every situation

If you can relate to the feeling of constantly ‘being on edge’ in the world and around others, I strongly recommend focusing on feeling safe with yourself. Constant self-criticism, ignoring your needs, lacking personal boundaries, always putting others above yourself, and changing yourself to be accepted all keep you in a fearful state of not feeling safe.

While our parents or guardians may not have fulfilled most of our needs (or any of our needs), the beautiful truth is that we can. The concept is strange, even foreign to us, but we can be our own parents!

The benefits of re-parenting yourself?

Greater happiness and optimism

Improved creativity

Healthier mind, body, and soul

Stronger friendships and relationships

Development of essential life skills: acceptance, forgiveness, vulnerability, compassion, self-love

If you find it really hard to re-parent your inner child, seeking help from an inner child work familiarized therapist will be a wise investment. Therapists, after all, act as substitute parents. They can listen to and help coach your inner child, while supporting and strengthening your inner parent.

If you prefer to go solo, that is absolutely possible. However, please do seek out a support network if you can, whether online or in real life.

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loycereiber · 6 years

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Lessons Learned from 50 Cent’s Bankruptcy

A federal judge recently discharged the bankruptcy case of rapper 50 Cent after he paid more than $22 million of his debt.

50 Cent filed for Chapter 11 reorganization in 2015, with debts of $36 million and assets of less than $20 million. The “Get Rich or Die Tryin’” artist, whose real name is Curtis Jackson, paid off a five-year plan early with $8.7 million of his own money and $13.65 million he received in a settlement of a legal malpractice lawsuit.

Jackson’s bankruptcy case started when a woman won a $7 million settlement against him in 2015 for posting a sex tape. Soon after, he filed for bankruptcy to help with that debt, as well as his failed business ventures.

But late last year, Jackson nearly was in hot water when he posed with stacks of cash on Instagram. A judge questioned if he was really declaring all his assets, but Jackson said he was merely living up to his perceived image — a famous rapper with loads of money around him — and that the cash was a prop.

In his response to the judge, 50 Cent said: “Just because I am photographed in or next to a certain vehicle, wearing an article of clothing, holding a product, sitting next to what appears to be large sums of money or modeling expensive pieces of jewelry does not mean that I own everything in those photos.”

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Here are four things everyday consumers can learn from 50 Cent’s high-profile bankruptcy case.

Chapter 11 Isn’t Just for Companies — People Can File, Too

Let’s face it — none of us are like 50 Cent. We’re not celebrities and we don’t have his life, grandioses or not. But what lessons can we take away from his very public proceedings?

For most of us, it’s to know your bankruptcy and the rules, inside out.

Chapter 11 of the Bankruptcy Code usually involves a corporation or partnership, reorganizing to keep the business alive and pay creditors over time. But people in businesses or individuals also can seek relief in chapter 11.

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For individuals, chapter 11 has some similarities to Chapter 13 bankruptcy, which is a reorganization of a consumer’s finances to pay creditors over 3-5 years. With the help of a bankruptcy attorney, chapter 13 filers work out a payment plan that allocates their disposable income into monthly payments.

Nearly anyone can file for chapter 11, whereas many small businesses are ineligible for chapter 13. Chapter 13 also is only available to debtors with regular income and subject to debt limitations — which, as of April 2016, were no more than $394,725 in unsecured debt (debt not backed by collateral, such as credit card debt) and $1,184,200 in secured debt (like mortgages and car loans).

Your Bankruptcy Case Can Last a Few Years, or a Few Months

A typical timeframe for a bankruptcy discharge varies depending on which chapter you file. For 50 Cent, he filed for bankruptcy in 2015 and had five years to pay off his debt, but paid up earlier this year.

Under Chapter 7, the debtor generally doesn’t pay back his or her creditors. Most people prefer to file under chapter 7, with common debts eliminated like medical bills or personal loans. Chapter 7 also is quicker than other bankruptcy proceedings, and typically lasts 4-5 months.

Chapter 13 filers who earn income that’s less than the state average for their family size enter a 3-year payment plan. Those who exceed the state average are bumped up to five years. The payment plan allocates consumers’ disposable income to make monthly, consolidated payments to creditors.

Chapter 11 can be a little more complex and expensive than chapter 13, and fewer types of debt are dischargeable. Special provisions do streamline these cases for small business debtors, though. Furthermore, Chapter 11 also does not require debtors to turn over their disposable income to a trustee, but the total value of his or her disposable income over a five-year period.

You Need to Be Completely Honest with the Court

If you try to game the system, as it initially appeared 50 Cent had when he posed with stacks of fake cash, you could be in big trouble. Luckily, he was in the clear.

However, people enter bankruptcy court to receive a discharge, and the biggest way to screw that up is to be dishonest. Other than having your bankruptcy case dismissed, you could be fined big time or end up in jail.

Section 727 of the Bankruptcy Code lists the various grounds for objecting to a bankruptcy discharge, including:

—lying under oath;

—destroying records or failing to keep adequate records;

—no good explanation for a loss of assets; and

—concealing or transferring property within one year before filing in an attempt to defraud a creditor.

You must tell the court about everything you own, plain and simple. If a bankruptcy trustee expects you may have left out assets, they’ll schedule a 2004 exam and ask questions under oath.

It probably goes without saying, but social media can ruin your chances at a successful bankruptcy if a bankruptcy trustee looks through your accounts and finds something unsavory. That includes posing on Facebook with assets, like a car that you own but haven’t told the court about.

Finally, if it’s found you have concealed or intentionally transferred property before your bankruptcy case, you can be sued. You can also lose all non-exempt assets without any debt relief.

You Can Recover After Bankruptcy

Say you’ve made it safely through your bankruptcy proceedings. You breathe a sigh of relief. (If you’re 50 Cent, you posted on social media immediately afterward.)

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What next?

Outside of the impact of bankruptcy felt during proceedings, bankruptcy and debt solutions can impact your credit score, but not as largely as you might think. So don’t put off filing for bankruptcy. The sooner you get help with your debt, the better your credit score will be in the long run — which will help you be more likely to get a future loan for a house, car, or rebuild credit with a credit card.

Make sure to review your credit reports, as all credit card accounts should have zero balances after a bankruptcy discharge. When opening a new credit card account, put small balances on it and pay them off immediately. Also, make sure to live within your means.

And beware: those annoying collectors may still call. However, collectors who ignore the discharge order are violating federal law, under section 524 of Title 11 of the United States Code. A discharge effectively operates as an injunction against continuing to collect or recover from the debt.

Free Consultation with Bankruptcy Lawyer

If you have a bankruptcy question, or need to file a bankruptcy case, call Ascent Law now at (801) 676-5506. Attorneys in our office have filed over a thousand cases. We can help you now. Come in or call in for your free initial consultation.

Ascent Law LLC8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite CWest Jordan, Utah 84088 United StatesTelephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Additional Bankruptcy Resources

Secured Debt in Bankruptcy

What is a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy?

Goin Public with Your Startup in Utah

Utah Bankruptcy Attorneys

Should Filing Bankruptcy be the Last Resort?

Bankruptcy Lawyer Salt Lake City

Source: http://www.ascentlawfirm.com/lessons-learned-from-50-cents-bankruptcy/

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ofcaerus · 7 years

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Name: Asher ‘Ash’ Strike (they/them) Affiliation: Old Olympus Occupation: Spy/Informant. Drug Dealer/Dancer for New Olympus. Faceclaim: Paulina Singer

BIOGRAPHY:

You go by Ash now, but that is not the name you were christened with - and this isn’t the first time you’ve shed your identity, only to have it remade new. You are made of fleeting moments and running shoes, a creature to whom lying comes naturally, always inventing falsehoods. Where some might do such wicked things in the name of survival, you’ve never been one of those desperate phoenixes - rising from the ashes. Instead, you’re a chameleon, changing your spots to adapt to your habitat. You can’t deny that it’s fun either.

Your parents call you Jane. You learn to scowl at that name - much the way you scowl at everything in your childhood. Traditional, they say, with approving nods. Plain, old Jane, you reply, bitter. It’s not as if your upbringing is hard - your parents are perfectly nice people, if not a little dull - and they make enough so that you never worry about money. Your mother is a school teacher and your father works in insurance. Your home has a white picket fence and a tree you can swing from - but your world is only as big as the town you live, 10,000 apiece. Even now, you can still remember each one of their names. There was Muriel your next door neighbour and Jack the first friend you made in Elementary. But they, like your parents, are so small. Your entire world isn’t big enough to fathom, nor fit, your desires. Simply put, you want it all.

You never manage to pinpoint exactly what that means, preferring to focus on the wider concepts - places, people and things. You draw your inspiration from works of fiction, your only outlet in this black-and-white life - and picture yourself in the shoes of your pretend heroes, living their lives. You suppose that your talent for lying and irresistible charm stems from there, mimicking their sentences until you could stole their voices for your own. Next step? Their stories. Had you been born on the West Coast, you might have been a child actress - prone to stepping out of your own skin and into those of others. Bored with your life, you often played games - to your benefit - and at the expense of the town dwellers. You snuck into the local bar, dolled up to double your age and drank whiskey without flinching. You stole cigarettes from seedy men and smoked in the school bathroom, doe-eyed when you were caught. You stole lipstick from the local store and deliberately got caught, seeing the limits to which you could push people. Deploying a variety of tactics, you got away with each act of rebellion. With time, even that game grew tiring, too easy. You wanted to sink your teeth into something real, into a challenge.

So, at seventeen, you tear your college applications to shreds - and months before you’re due to graduate high school, you buy a one way ticket to New York City - with no intention of ever coming back. You had always liked the charm of teenage runaways, the romance behind pursuing a dream and leaving it all behind. The logic of reality would dictate that it wouldn’t work out, that you return within three months with your tail between your leg, but things have always slotted into place for you. You’re fortunate like that. So within moments of arriving, you drop into The Stardust Diner just off Broadway and sell a story about being an aspirational musical star. You call yourself Maria - just like the one from West Side Story. Maria is innocent, naive and a little air-headed. But boy can she sing. They give you the job - and you sink your teeth into your new life. You don’t just play the role, you become it. You make friends, kiss your co-workers and live off leftover pancakes and fries. But being the ingeune grows tiring for a while, so after nine months, you claim you’ve been casted and leave without a goodbye to all those you have known. All that’s left is a name badge in a shoe box at the end of your bed.

You sublet your apartment and move in somewhere else, where they don’t ask too many questions. You’re Jean now, a chain-smoking Parisian native. Getting to grips with the grit of the city, you live in Queens, working in a dive bar to make ends meet. You spend most of your days pouring beers and acting as a sort of therapist, listening to the woes of your customers – but their stories too. Such magical ones, that set your heart alive. You feel a little like Jane then, captivated by a fairy tale. You don’t stay Jean for very long, but not because the accent is too hard or the hair dye begins to ruin your hair. You don’t mean Jean because the adventure isn’t enough. You need more than beer bottles and crumbled cigarette packets, hook-ups and half lived adventures. You need something better. You’re not asking to become a magnate of Wall Street (it’s too structured), but would it be so bad to have a little of something else?

The night your life changes, the night you meet Zeus, you’re nameless. You’ve always taken great pride in your identity choices, musing for a long time – so when they ask for your name, outside the Warehouse (you picked it because it’s like nowhere you’ve been before, very Carrie Bradshaw of you) you don’t give them one, tapping the ash of your cigarette like you’re playing them. (You can’t shake the last vestiges of Jean, after all). I’ve been watching you, she said. You’ve got the world wrapped around your fingers. It’s true, you’ve spent your evening flirting with random strangers and scoring free drinks, the eyes of the world beholding your charisma. That’s what I’m looking for. Do you like adventures? You tried not to look too curious, to hide the spark in your eyes. Tossing the cigarette away, your breath was mist on the damp night air. Depends on what they are. The woman laughed. And what they can give you? Well I can offer you a slice of the world, served up on soliver – riches and powers and meaning. You hated to admit that you were drawn in by the sound of that – of playing out your own rise, dipping your claws into something with meaning. I’m in the middle of a war – one I intend to win. But to do that, I need someone to be my eyes and ears on the other side, someone from outside the inner circle. Someone with an air of innocence. Someone who wants to be there. You paused, being a bond girl had never sounded very appealing, but 007 themselves? Perhaps a spy could be fun. Otherwise, why would fiction salivate about it so? What do you have in mind? The woman smiled, or snarled, it depended on your perspective. How do you feel about getting your hands dirty? You shrugged, indifferent. Morals had never mattered much – you never thought they would. You know, I’ll need your name. You laughed. I’ll give it to you tomorrow.

Sure enough, when you turned up at the cusp of dawn, you were armed. Your name was Ash, a lucky name – and you were from New Jersey, just up the road. It was the closest to Jane you had ever been, fulfilling long held hopes. From that moment on, you never looked back.

Zeus taught you everything about the world you were about to possess. Both the flower and the serpent, the rose and the thorns, you became everything under their tuition, the best version of yourself that you had ever been. You words were intoxicating, your aura undeniable. You gave them – and Old Olympus – everything, all the parts of you – Ash and otherwise. In return, she let you into her world – darkness and shadows, daggers hidden in the dark, fine white powder. With her patronage, you blossomed. Without it, you were done – and after one tasted, you never wanted to leave. This truly was the role of a lifetime. You thought you knew better than Alice. You thought you wouldn’t fall into Wonderland. After two months of careful training, you made your move, haunting Club Nyra until they noticed you. At first a bartender and then a dancer, it was months until you were taken to the one they called Hades. You had your eyes set on him from the start. A distant creatures, he gave nothing away. But he let you in. That was enough.

Since then, you’ve spent every waking moment crawling your way in, a pest who won’t let go. It’s been longer than you thought – the longest you’ve spent as anyone (you may be losing yourself in the role) – and you’re only just beginning to gain their trust, to be allowed into the inner circle of the group. A low-level drug runner and part time Dancer for them, you’ve not gotten the ultimate pay-off yet, the one that will strike the final blow. Zeus circles impatiently, craving each nugget of information. You’ve given her everything you have, chipping at New Olympus piece by piece. In the process, however, you’ve discovered something beyond belief – completely unintentional. You’ve found a conscious. New Olympus aren’t the backstabbing monsters Zeus made them out to be – and Zeus isn’t the hallowed King she likes to parade as either. There’s weakness. New Olympus have been kind, even welcoming – and you’ve started to feel unconscious working against them. Had this been any other role, you long would have taken off – leaving everything else, even yourself, behind. Instinct urges you to do just that, knowing you can’t keep playing both sides forever and dread having to pick one of them. But something else urges you to stay. You’re just not sure which side to stay on. You’d better figure it out fast – before someone else does.

#bio

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loycereiber · 6 years

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Estate Planning for Single Parents

Estate planning is important for everyone, especially if you’re a single parent. Getting your finances in order is an important first step to ensuring your children are taken care of in case the unthinkable occurs. Estate planning will give you peace of mind. As an estate planning lawyer, I promise you that the time and effort you put into your estate plan will not be wasted.

As a parent, you might be worried about your children’s ability to manage an inheritance. You might be worried about their financial future. Proper estate planning will help assuage these fears.

Estate Planning Tips For Single Parents

Estate planning requires lots of preparation and thought before making final decisions with your attorney. Here are some tips to consider:

Create a list of assets and debts. Preparing this will make the estate planning process easier and more accurate.

Pick a child guardian and property guardian.

Meet with an attorney to discuss the different elements of estate planning.

Meet with a financial planner.

Make a last will.

If your lawyer recommends it, establish a living trust.

Estate Planning Questions to Consider

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Who will take care of your kids?

This question is possibly among the hardest questions you will have to consider during the estate planning process. However difficult this decision may be, it’s a decision that needs to made. If you don’t choose a guardian for your child and pass away prior to your child becoming an adult, your kid could be placed in care of a court appointed guardian.

Who will receive your assets?

As a single parent you want to guarantee that your children will be the ones receiving your assets. This may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s something that needs to be put in writing to ensure that your money goes where you want it to go.

When and how will your children receive your assets?

Estate planning allows you to control when and how your children will receive money or valuable property.

Do you need life insurance?

Life insurance is a good, sound investment for everyone, especially single parents.

Should you consider a revocable trust?

Also referred to as a living trust, a revocable trust allows people to manage assets while they’re alive, but upon your death, the trustee you’ve named will be in charge of your assets. A good revocable trust enables people to avoid probate.

Understanding Child Custody Laws

Dealing with family issues can be difficult, and Alder Law Group understands the hardships child custody can bring, so we are here to help. Because child custody isn’t always easy on parents, we strive to serve you with compassion, discretion, and understanding.

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Understanding child custody laws can make the situation easier on both the parents and children. First, child custody is the legal status given by the court for the caring and control of a child. Even if the parents of a child were never married, child custody is determined by custody sections in Utah’s divorce statutes. Most orders of custody are given to one or both of the parents of the child, and in some cases, custody is granted to another adult.

Types of Custody

There are two parts to child custody: Physical and legal custody. Physical custody relates to where the child lives, while legal custody determines which parent will have the right to make decisions regarding the child. When possible, joint legal custody is often the best option for the child’s sake.

Within these two parts to child custody lies sole and joint custody for both physical and legal. Take a look at what each entails:

Sole Legal and Sole Physical – If a parent is granted sole custody, the child will live with one parent and that parent will have the right to make choices concerning the child.

Joint Legal and Joint Physical – In this arrangement, the child can live with both parents and both parents are able to make choice regarding the child. This is most successful when both parents are willing to communicate and work well together.

In both cases of sole custody, visitation may be granted for the non-custodial parent. When joint custody is granted, the child must live in each parent’s home for 111 days of the year.

How Custody is Determined

The court grants custody to parents based off the best interest for the child. The court will grant a parent custody or visitation, also referred to as parent time, once it determines what is in the best interest for child. The best interests of a child are determined through a variety of factors, such as:

The parent’s’ conduct

The quality of the relationship between a child and parent

Which parent is more likely to allow visitation for the other parent

In some cases, the judge will ask the child for his or her preference, but this is not always taken into account when granting a parent custody.

There are also a number of factors that are considered when determining what type of custody will be granted to a parent. In granting joint legal or physical custody, these factors may include:

Which type of custody will best suit the child’s needs

The distance between the parents’ homes

The ability to cooperate between parents

History of child or spouse abuse

The parents participation in caring for the child prior to divorce

Visitation

Visitation, or parent time, is granted to the non-custodial parent. State law requires a minimum visitation time when parents cannot agree on their own schedule. Much like determining custody, the court will decide how much time with the non-custodial parent is in the child’s best interest.

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