#but the plot is kinda cute so it's not that bad 🤣

[slashingdisneypasta]

Beetlejuice x AFAB!Reader || Drabble+Smut

Plot: You bet him he couldn't leave you alone (stop harassing you) for even one day, not realising that he would take winning s o seriously, but he's a stubborn old fuck so now its been weeks, and he still wont give in. And well... now you kinda miss him. Ironic, huh?

Warnings: Smut. Reader is DOWN BAD, FED UP AND WANTS THAT PERVERT DICK. A little daddy kink, panty stealing, creampie (WRAP IT BEFORE YA TAP IT. Especially with this guy 😅 We dunno what he has 😅), at points its even kinda f l u f f y?? I tried to connect with different facets of Beetlejuice 😅🤣 XD Unedited.

"Stay fucken still." That raspy voice sounding a hundred shades of pissed o f f creeping directly in your ear, as well as the boner you're sitting on, do absolutely the opposite to what he wants. They do not deescalate anything- in fact, you just feel even more turned on. Jesus christ, who knew it would only take 2 weeks no-contact for you to find him attractive.

But-- b o y, do you see it now.

Yeah he's mucky, but thats part of it?? The harsh mossy stubble and forearm hair (When he rolls up his sleeves), the deep greasy racoon bags around his dark beady eyes, the crazy hair that will not be tamed, everything. You know its kind of fucked up, but you have never wanted someone so bad. And if it weren't for that stupid bet 2 weeks ago-- you would have him! Goddamnit. You and your big mouth.

"Come on BJ," You urge softly, using the tip of your finger to guide his face towards you even as every muscle in his face fights to stay strong and remain stern- and most importantly, avoid looking at you. "Look at me." The ghost with the most hadn't looked at you since he accepted the bet, afraid of seeing you and immediately losing. Immediately being unable to keep his nasty eyes- hands- mouth, off of you.

He's been so strong. So boneheaded-ly strong.

Meanwhile you've been going crazy thinking about him stuffing you with his cock and then keeping your dirty underwear after.

Now sat atop his lap, face-forward, you intend to get him to look at you again and break his resolve. If it is the last thing you do tonight. Or for the week.

"I am lookin' at you." His face barely moves; the words coming out forced and humourless. No tone at all. But you can feel his cock painfully hard stretching the seam on his pants, and your underwear. Probably an embarrassing wet spot, too. "Whadaya mean."

You're so close he can surely feel your warm breath on his face. Giving his nose a cute little brush with your own, you feel his dick twitch in his black and white striped pants and a slow grin worms it way onto your lips. "No you're not... come on. Please, BJ?" With round eyes, you pout a little. "I miss you."

With that, he gives a frustrated and animated groan, and finally looks down from just past your head- to your eyes, causing a delighted smile to slip across your face. "Come on now baby- thats not fair at all. Come on."

You throw your arms around his neck as a familiarly slimy, hot, sex-crazed grin spreads across his grimy mouth. That wild look that apparently you love appearing in his eyes again, looking down at you- all over. Licking over your pretty willing body with just a look. "You didn't give me a choice!!"

"Hey, hey, hey- you bet me, sugar- "

"Hey. You gonna take your chance and fuck me, or not?"

He shrugs. "Well when you're right, you're right." Then he kisses you open-mouthed and all-tongue and just how you imagined he would kiss, and swallows any giggle you were going to give. Along with all your thoughts.

~

Neither of you can bring yourselves to perform any foreplay- even though you want to. Want to enjoy this; grind in his lap a while longer, feel his tongue in your cunt, tease him with your lips warm and tongue damp over the top of his pants- But you're more then wet enough already, the fabric of your underwear sticks to your pussy lips, and his obviously rock-hard boner fights to tear a hole in its confines. You'll have time for all that fun stuff later, anyway.

You barely have time to properly taste each other's tongues for the first time before his greedy fingers are digging under your skirt, underneath your underwear, and slipping easily right into you. Too easily, shit. He gives a filthy groan, getting 3 of his fingers good and drenched in your slick; feeling your pretty cunt squeeze 'em. "Fuck, honey, I think this is the best pussy I ever had."

Breathless, you give a giggle; forehead pressed into his shoulder at just the feeling of his fingers invading you; hips juttering slightly into is hand. "You haven't even had me yet."

"Lets fix that, then, shall we? Now."

Your fingers go down to the button on his pants and eagerly, with deft fingers, undo it. He's not wearing underpants, predictably, so you just have to reach in and carefully finagle his fat cock free. Then you swipe a finger over the insanely leaky tip for fun and watch his head fall back against the wall, listening to the wildly horny, gutteral groan come out of him at the feeling.

He clicks his fingers and your underwear disappears. You see it reappear in his hand a last time, just before he shoves it in his jacket pocket; flashing you a cheesy grin. "Souvenir."

When finally, finally you sink down on his gross cock you both let out sighs of utter satisfaction. 2 weeks was a hell of an edge.

You're almost happy to just sit there with him stretching you open, milking him with your pussy, but when he shifts his hips, just getting more comfortable and laying his hands on your hips, the movement sparks a change of mind. "BJ... " You wrap your legs more securely around him, around the back of the chair he's sat in, and lift your hands to grip the lapels on his jacket. Your eyes meet his very dark, lusty ones. Just watching you; a little scary and a little smug and a little pussy drunk. "... fuck me."

"P l e a s e?"

"Please, daddy."

His eyes roll into the back of his head and dramatically huffs, making you giggle. "Oh fuck, baby, you really know howta murder a guy." With all his strength, he pulls himself back together; straightening up again. "Alright, alright- hold on, daddy's gonna take you on a ride."

You open your mouth to respond, but before you can even make noise, you blink and you're in another position entirely. Off the chair now, you find yourself pressed against a nearby wall, your legs still wrapped around him and his cock still throbbing inside you.

While you're feeling dizzy from teleporting, Beetlejuice pulls almost all the way out of your messy cunt and thrusts all the way back in- hard. He does it again. Then the pace picks up and he's pounding you into the wall at an inhuman pace that has you hiding your face in his shoulder again and knotting your fingers tight in his greasy hair.

Your orgasm builds up at a record pace, due to all the build up. It would be embarrassing, if he wasn't fighting not to paint your insides already himself. "I gotta- I gotta be honest, sweetie, I- I don't think daddy's gonna last long in this cat. Not this time. The way you're suckin me in- Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck. Pullin' my hair- Damn, shit, Fuck!- " Finally, BJ mashes his groin against yours and holds himself there; cumming hard inside you.

That causes your orgasm, rolling your hips against him and riding it out, making him shudder out a sigh. A vulgar dopey grin flickers across his jawline and black teeth.

... After a few minutes of heavy breathing- you catching your breath, and him just 'livin in it', enjoying the feel of breather meat for a while longer, you finally pull yourself together and raise your head carefully off his chest. "Um... " Suddenly you feel awkward. But not uncomfortable. You give a small, tired smile. "I don't know what to say?"

"... " He ducks down and presses his forehead to yours, and you're fooled for just a moment that this might be a sweet moment. "Uh. How about 'you win the bet, handsome?'."

Quickly you swat him, laughing. "Oh- Never!"

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Hello!!

The crack post saga continues... =D

Warning: long, long post 😊😅

To be very honest though, for today's ep I will be getting serious more than usual, because it was quite significant in the flow of the plot, and also had moments of communication (this emotional constipation is what makes me yearn for Cherry Magic ah) that need to be studied a little closely.

HOWEVER, there will most definitely be crack because this group of friends is (unapologetically) batshit crazy and my brain refuses to not make comments at the most inappropriate times.

Peem: NO ONE SAW ME CUDDLING MY CRUSH TO SLEEP RIGHT?!

The sheer panic in his movements, oh my gods. It should not be as hilarious as it is 😭😂

To be very honest though, I would've panicked a bit in his place too, with friends like those, they'd never let him live it down

Peem is so cute 😭

Nothing to see here, just a guy getting shy over how his prince charming hom-ed him, and they kissed through his hand and cuddled all night hehe

Phum: here he comes again :) *eye twitch*

Peem's expression, how he's still holding his hands as if he has the cup, Kluen's disbelief, and Phum's smug af face-

I'm wheezing 😭🤣

Kluen, I'm kinda starting to like you, but no.

You don't stand half a chance against them and their situationship.

Hope you find another boyfriend to fall in love at first sight with (and leave my boys alone please, they don't need any more complications) <3

Oh, Fang knows too. Of course he does, that's his little brother right there

We all know how protective of his brother he is, there's no way he'd let anybody else take care of him... unless, he knew Phum liked that person

les voila

Poor Tan, his theerak just ignoring him T-T

*looks between them* yeah, pretty much the same pic 👀

And here it is. The root of all his fears.

See, in this camp, almost all of them are paired up in the sense that they usually stick to that person. Even Beer has MIck. But then comes wild card Kluen, who's hogging all of Peem's attention as much as he can and that leaves Phum. Alone.

I will be getting back to this running motif of Phum being alone and how it changes through the ep in later scenes as well

Also, after they went back, both Mick and Beer asked if he really was okay, which made me smile, because maybe, Phum isn't as alone as he thinks himself to be. There are people who care for him, who are concerned, who'll support him, and of course, he always has Fang, his beloved phi

My poor babie Tan 🥺🥺

Also, notice how the shot is taken in such a way that they're the only ones in the frame, and are also standing within one specific part of the wall? (Ignore Kluen's head and hands please). It reflects how they're in their own world with each other, especially Tan

The nosy peeps gang strikes again!

Jokes aside, the synchronised strides, the background music together set the perfect levels of suspense and comedy

Peem, smug: yes! that emotionally constipated dumbass is finally getting out of De Nile

Pun: wait... is my plan actually working? Ah, of course it is

Toey: head empty, no thoughts, but... DOES P'Q ACTUALLY LIKE ME OMG I'LL DIE

Oh gods, FINALLY. I wish them a happily ever after. Sadhu 😌🙏🏼

Pun forgetting all about being quiet when Toey finally confesses is so on character 😭👍🏼

Also... what's even the point of being quiet? Q and Chain have been friends with these idiots since high school, of course they know they're peeking

Toey: *shooketh*

Gays in thai bl and staring off into the distance 😭

This scene was so, so beautiful and also quite important for both Q and Toey

Q knew what was up, more or less, but his confusion stemmed from his knowledge of Toey

Would Toey really go to these lengths? For him?

"Why? Are you the only one who can tease me?" <- Q says this to tell Toey that he might have been angry, but now he understands that Toey didn't really have any bad intentions

Hugs always get bonus points from me, and this was pretty up there

Pun hiding behind Chain is so on point

His friends: you're an idiot so we had no choice but to intervene 😭😭

Matt's (JJ) comedic timing is >>>>>>

Toey and Matt's friendship is also given weight in the series, and I'm happier for it.

Also revenge is sweet ehehe *coughs*

Moving on.

If there's no live singing dedicated to your One True Love, is it even Thai BL??

We Are making generous use of MSP songs 😭👍🏼

This scene.

The apology. It is at this point that they're leaving all the past pain, grief and anger in the past

Q makes sure to tell Toey that yes, he may have loved Milk Frappe Boy, but now, in the present, all his love was for Toey, his lovable annoying mentee

This apology is not only to Toey, or Milk Frappe Boy, but to himself as well, because by causing pain to a person he loves twice, he'd caused himself pain too

The perfect sweet and romantic moment, but also with a teeny bit of teasing, because that's who they are

No joke, I gasped and nearly stopped breathing when he said this

Peem's reply, his soft but kind of hurt voice were just so painful to hear

But it's also this moment that Peem gives Phum a reality check – if he really didn't want to, he wouldn't be doing any of this, and Phum had no business trying to control his life

The conversation outside with Q was significant, but also a diluted reflection of Peem's earlier (in ep. 7) talk with Q

Even a few episodes earlier, Q would have gone ballistic on Phum for treating his bestie like this, but now, he asks Peem how he feels for Phum, tries to understand exactly what their relationship is

It was at this point that he knew, he fucked up

Beer is a godsent. I love him <3

I think Toey says "I asked hia Tan to blow it up for me."

Also, Tiw and his rubber duck floater from MSP anyone? 👀

And, we are back to square one where Phum is left alone again

As I'd said before, this a repeating motif throughout the series, but especially the last two episodes

This is how it has always been in Phum's life: he has been left behind. He does have Fang, but now even Fang has a boyfriend. And while this does not affect his brother's affection towards him in anyway, it does introduce a new strand of lonliness for Phum because 1. no matter what, he loves his brother a lot, and knows how much he loves Tan, so he definitely will try to stay out of their way at least sometimes and 2. he wants a boyfriend too. Further, he wants Peem, but there's a push and pull there, and after what he said, in his mind he had pretty much ruined his chances with his crush

This is the moment Phum starts to hope that maybe, just maybe, his feelings aren't as unrequited as he'd thought.

On the other hand, Peem is the one afraid here. What if the deal is all that's holding them together? What if without it, Phum will have no reason to be as close to him?

Peem, baby, for one, your groups are already merged, and secondly, this guy is head over heels for you, no way he'd stop following you like a lost puppy

(Apparently, it's not Peem's turn with the communal braincell this week 😭)

Here, Phum is technically alone, but he's surrounded with friends, and he's smiling

He isn't left behind here, for once, he's sitting there by choice (to shamelessly ogle his crush, but shh we don't talk about that) with the comforting knowledge that when/if he jumps in, he won't be left out, Kluen be damned

Once the floodgates of affection have been opened to Q, there's no going back <3

(Also, notice how Tan is already asleep on Fang's shoulder? 👀)

FINALLY

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT SINCE PEEM KICKED PHUM'S BALLS

Jokes apart, this moment is so, so beautiful. The kiss, the soft question "are you ready for my answer now?" (maybe Peem isn't, but hell if he denies this man his kissies).

Everything leading up to this point is also so very delightful

Phum helping them out in the cafe, despite probably having never worked a day in his life, discovering how Peem still kept the roses and finally, finally, the completed painting. This sight, above all, is what convinces Phum that Peem might have feelings for him after all; because which fool would lie about not having completed something that would free them from being a slave to someone? A fool in love, that's who

ALSO,

if they don't get together and have the fluffiest moments in the next ep, I swear to god, hands will be thrown *grumbles* they're already making me wait a whole damn week

Anyways, that's all for this week, see you next ep! (I cannot promise I won't be jumping around and screaming, but then again, this is supposed to be a crack post so-)

And if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊

Here, have a bubble tea and a sandwich 🧋🥪

[If you'd like, here are my previous posts: Ep 8 and Ep 9.]

[bisexualnerd]

Writer tag game

I wasn’t tagged, but I saw the game randomly posted by another user so I want to play anyway! (red for fic links and blue for series links)

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

35 (and only one draft because I don't really like working on multiple projects at the same time)

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

395,306

3. what fandoms do you write for?

I write the most for Batfam, mostly Tim and Jason but usually, the whole fam (more or less) is also there.

I write a bit more for some other fandoms but there are only one or two fics for each (2021 Produce 101 - Chuang Zao Ying, Hollywood Undead (but these fics are not finished), Julie and The Phantoms (1 fic - finished), Arsenal Military Academy + The Legends (they are kinda connected in 1 fic) and I have like, one translation project too.

I'm hoping to write Star Wars fics one day too. Really like the whole time travel thing and Obi-Wan is my beloved.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Monster Under My Bed (The Monster Down The Hall)

"Back Away From Him."

if i lose everything in the fire, i'm sending all my love to you

Cold

A Pile of Sleeping Birds

5. do you respond to comments?

All of the comments, definitely. I really enjoy reading and replying to them and sometimes, I even come back to re-read the comments to feel validated 🤣

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I write angst a lot but I have a thing for happy endings. But if I look at the fics individually and not like, as a part of a bigger series, it might be i have so much to say but you're so far away. But if not just the ending but the whole plot in general, it can be any fic really (I would recommend Restless Heart Syndrome, And Now You're Home, The Monster Under My Bed (The Monster Down The Hall), and What The Heart Remembers).

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They all have some sort of happy endings (though some fics that are a part of a series might not but the series will have happy endings). But since all I have talked about is Batfam, I would recommend this from Julie and the Phantoms. I don't write romance often, but this is just a short soft, cute love story of two ghosts (Reggie and an OC based on his real-life wife) plus some humour in the band - ‘Cause I’m Not Too Far And You’re My Favorite Place. I was very satisfied with how it turned out and I still come back to re-read for my own enjoyment a few times so I hope you guys will give it a chance.

8. do you get hate on fics?

My most controversial fic would be Hold Me Close, Don't Let Go (Watch Me Burn) but it's not like people showed hate to me. They just didn't like the story and how I wrote it so there were some unpleasant comments. The newest one, I think I did well with my response. It's a rather heavy fic because I went through a really rough time when I was writing it (along with many others) so if you want to read it, be careful.

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't. My fics are all rated G or T (mostly because of swearing and violence, and also some with suicidal theme or idealisation because I did have a really bad time).

10. do you write crossovers?

Just for two fandoms, Arsenal Military Academy & The Legends, because they share the same lead actor and actress so I thought it would be fun to write something about reincarnation. It's Then and Now, Forever and Always.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think I'm famous enough for that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, into Chinese, actually. It's The Monster Under My Bed (The Monster Down The Hall). The link to the translated fic is in the fic.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not really. I planned my current series How To Steal A Brother with my friend Den and she is also my beta-reader for this series but I still write all of the stuff, which she reads and corrects the mistakes for me later.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

That's hard to choose. I really like Robin (Dick Grayson) and Starfire. It was like my first ship ever because I watched Teen Titans as a child. I also like Marinette/Adrien, very cute but the secondhand embarrassment is not very healthy for me (at least she has gotten better at interacting with him). The Doctor (10th) and Rose was one heartbreak that got me crying like a baby in 8th grade.

So honestly, I don't think I can pick because those were the three that came to my mind first, but I still have like a few dozen left.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

The Hollywood Undead fic - When Gravity Pulls You In. It was a really fun idea but then I ran into a big writer's block and I haven't recovered for this fic. I have been writing for Batfam again but I doubt I can go back and finish this one (at least anytime soon).

16. What are your writing strengths?

I don't think I'm too good with dialogue but I do have a strength in describing and like some sort of metaphor (English is not my first language so this is a difficult question to answer). I don't know if this is also considered a strength but like I said, I don't really write many fics at the same time so I can manage them pretty well. Most of my fics are completed before I move on to another one.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. And I forget a lot of stuff so I have to go back to the earlier part so the plot won't be inconsistent. And of course, I write in English, which is not my mother tongue, so sometimes, I lack vocabulary or my grammar can feel weird.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I mean, I would add translation or explanation very subtly in there. But I saw a Star Wars fic where the writer had like, floating texts or something for the conversations in Mando'a so like, I will research on that if I need to write in another language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Batfam. Tim-centric.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Damn, that's like asking a parent for their fav child on national television.

In terms of like, wording and metaphors and descriptions and all the technical stuff - And Now You're Home - because some of my fav paragraphs are in here. In terms of logic, time can never change for the flying bird under the summer sun because I went crazy with all the planning for the whole time-travel-but-nothing-changes-the-future thing. In terms of plot, i'm so out of touch with everyone, and everything's a blur to me. This was one of my earlier ones but when I came back to this earlier this year, I found it so enjoyable and fascinated. I couldn't even believe I wrote this one. But it is a part of a series so you might want to check out I've Got You Brother.

This has been fun and I have been shamelessly PR-ing my fics. I don't really know who to tag so anyone else who wants to play, go ahead and have fun!

[nerdieforpedro]

WIP Tag Game (The XL edition) 🤣

I was tagged by @missredherring and sure I did it earlier this week. Could I have come up with a new WIPs because my mind is never quiet? 🤐

Yes, yes, Yes I did. 😆 I’m also structuring it similar to how she had it because it spoke to me. 🤭

Current foci (because having just one is difficult as I bounce around):

1. Weddings 101 with Dieter and @angelofsmalldeath-codeine - We’re going to finish it one day or at least the next chapter. Also AO3 link.

2. Coasting through the Rainbow 🌈 - I’m half way done with chapter four of this finally. 😆 2 and 1/2 more to go! Also AO3 link.

3. Waters of Lethe - The Qimir one. Maybe 2-5 parts? We’ll see where it goes. So far only one part. AO3 link

4. Honey and Sugarplum - With Jack Daniels and an OFC. Very sweet, smutty kinda and fluffy. ☺️ AO3 link.

Excuse me Ma’am? We’re over here in the back!

1. Unnamed Fae Jack Daniel fic for Monster Smash Challenge. I did write out some Fae facts for this one and I plan to keep it…..an actual one shot?! It’s been 900 years since Nerdie’s done one of those.

2. Fifty-Six Wildflower Lane - this one with Frankie still needs an ending, then I can post it here like. Just need part number four. AO3 link.

3. Tasting Ambrosia - Ezra, ever the scoundrel nagging at the back of my brain has a small WIP. No idea where this one is going. Also trying to do drama and will he make it out sort of deal. 👀

We been waiting for our day to come for so long:

1. Travel to You - A sweet and maybe a little obsessive Javi G? He’s adorable, has golden curls and can shoot those clay bird things down accurately so, totally fine. Have discord and FFXIV references, very nerdy. 🤣 AO3 link.

2. Therapy for the Well-Adjusted - Marcus Pike and Imani are finally going on that date. Or do they? Maybe they go somewhere else? Also AO3 link.

3. A Safe Place for Us - Dieter and Aisha continue to sort their feelings and trying to make a baby. What could go wrong? Also AO3 link.

4. Green Shop of Memories - that Marcus Moreno AU where I made him a wizard/warlock that owns a cafe. 😘 It’s all sad, and cute. Plus it has fairies and a Magic Council. Also fake dating? AO3 link.

5. Kissed by the Sun - I had an idea that Oberyn Martell was a son or descendant of Apollo and he pissed off Venus (Aphrodite if ya nasty) and was barred from his soulmate being able to interact with him other than his voice. Because…..I read too many Marcus A fics that kept referencing Roman gods. 🫡 AO3 link

6. Din’s in the Neighborhood- Modern Din AU that has him meet on OFC DV survivor post divorce. Also Grogu is a human boy and we have Finn/Poe. There’s also Johnnie Mae and Luke that are just together? No one’s asking and I don’t think either of them would given an answer. 😆 So many cameos and randomness, so little time. Side notes: I gave Din tattoos, Obi-Wan is a children’s author and there’s a Jedi Law & Order show. Also AO3 link.

7. Fire and Fury - Pero and Calista’s story likely has two more parts. Complete with smut, more fighting, a bathtub (I promised @avastrasposts that one) and they’ll get their revenge! But what happens after? Also AO3 link.

8. Hands of God - This could be a long one shot or I might have to split it up. The Marcus Acacius fic that @soft-persephone and @megamindsecretlair “gently suggested” that I write. I did start it. 👀 There will be some infidelity, plots, murder and a coup. Also a dash of smut just for seasoning. And maybe a subby Marcus A? Can I do it? Only time and Marcus’ sash will tell.

9. Front Office Adjunct - One of two Dave York fics. ☺️ Dave blackmails on OFC into working for him. Things appear to be stacked in his favor, but are they? This one is a slow burn one, enemies to lovers maybe? Also espionage, murder, violence, smutty and bad behavior. Just bad. 👀🤫 AO3 link

She hasn’t touched us in so long:

Pleasure Principle - The first series I ever started anywhere. Has Dave York in a toxic working on making it better relationship with an OFC. I’ll finish this one someday. 😭😭 Also AO3 link.

Uncomplicated Mi Amor - The fic where I swore I was going to have something sweet for Javier Peña. Which it is, I just haven’t finished it. 👀 Also I will finish someday. Also AO3 link.

Roc & Doc - A Tim Rockford crime series with an OFC ME that is my love letter to the likely thousands of hours I’ve spent watching crime procedurals or listening to true crime podcasts. Also AO3 link.

Some have just AO3 links, I haven’t gotten around to putting them on Tumblr yet and some are in both places. A few just exist in notes. 🗒️ I should also never look through my WIP this in depth again. This thing is very long. 🤣🤣🤣

NPT because you may have already done it but I described things this time around. 🙌🏽

@schnarfer @maggiemayhemnj @lotusbxtch @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @604to647

@inept-the-magnificent @connectioneverywhere @for-a-longlongtime @lady-bess @tinytinymenace

@perotovar @julesonrecord @yourcoolauntie @clawdee @magpiepills

@trulybetty @rhoorl @grogusmum @syd-djarin @sin-djarin

@harriedandharassed @missladym1981 @jolapeno @pedrospurplerain @alltheglitterandtheroar

@movievillainess721 @notapradagurl7 @bishtrouille @fhatbhabiee @secretelephanttattoo

@gasolinerainbowpuddles @din-cognito @djarins-cyare

[spyxfamilyanalysis]

Chapter 97 & 98... shock me a lot (Part 1)

Alright, before reading my point of view about the chapters, ...

Thank you all so much because we finally reached 80 followers, we are on the way to 100 followers!!! I couldn't have done this without your support on liking my analysis. Though I may be not the best at analyzing anime or manga, and I probably be inactive quite long (could be because I'm busy studying, and I ran out of ideas), I will do my best giving you guys something to read (?) to entertain, all to the fans of SPY x FAMILY!

And Happy 2nd anniversary for this blog @spyxfamilyanalysis!!!

Now let's get back to the post.

After the ball dance event in chapter 97, we get to see Martha (Becky's butler) and Mr. Henderson (Anya & Becky's housemaster)'s past when they were schoolmates.

Now that I know Martha is 3 years younger than Henderson 😮

And oh boy, how I love this cute "romance" between the both of them :")))

From strangers to familiars, they have a very cute bond between a senpai and a kouhai. Firstly, if you haven't read chapter 97 and 98, read it now! Because this post contains spoilers!

Well, not because you can't read this post duh! I feel like if you read the manga first, you will get what I'm writing, so you can follow the flow of this post better.

(why this pic is so messed up...)

Just kidding really, I know you will keep reading anyway... Ima right??? 😏

Now first, plot of the story:

Chapter 97

(seriously, i dunno what to explain here, since this is the intro for senpai and kouhai's friendship~)

Ok why is the lady has Anya's signature smirk :D

Every since Martha's debut in ballerina show dance, the first ever word Henderson ever spoke was "How elegant!", which to everyone's surprise, from an elite to a transfer student.

And after that day, Martha, and new transfer student, ended up having friends thanks to her talent in ballerina, while Henderson, an Imperial Scholar, lost some because of his strict attitude (?) and his arrogant, was called "Mr. Elegant".

Yet these 2 opposite characters ended up spending time having tea and conversation, and they both enjoying each other's company, as if they are close friends, more than just the relationship between an upperclassman and an underclass-"woman". Personally, I think that is a great start to build relationships with not only just your peers, but also your upperclassmen. I mean, you can ask for the latter's advice, they can support your study, since they know more than you.

Heck, I wish I knew an upperclassman to help me with my studies and exams, too much for an introvert :")) But I guess I don't have time for that anymore... because I AM now the upperclassman. It's my last year in high school already, and 7 days left before my entrance exam for university. My sister is lucky to have me to guide her...

Martha also helped Henderson by protecting and defending him from his bullies, and hell, she was very funny when she was young. This could not get any more silly huh 🤣🤣🤣

And so, after graduation, he decided to become a teacher, probably because of how "unclever(?)" the teacher was, kinda blaming Henderson for boycotting military, and the bullies were the ones at fault.

And finally, ya all know, the prom dance...

Yes, he is not interested at all! Like bruh man >:(

Becky felt so bad for Martha, her butler. I, too, felt bad for her. But uh, I understand that at this young age, "love" is something hard to describe, feel, understand.

Off-topic: I also experienced love at first sight before, and you know, the feeling "love" is very vague. When I saw "him", a friend same class as mine in secondary/ junior high school, but not same class in high school, someone I kinda like, but not truly "love", I couldn't really confess my love to him. I can't say that "I love you" so randomly. Because, like, in my opinion/ definition of "love", you have to understand the other person's true self, and decide whether it is worth enough to confess, and you must stand on your ground of what truly happen, and what it means to love somebody. And I was an amateur of that, so I really am unsure what feeling I am experiencing. Like I had said in one of my "fact post" about me and Liam in my blog @laurenmiki06, I don't experience love before so I'm not sure of my sexuality. Besides, I know in some parts of America, ya care a lot about your sexuality and pronouns, but I'm in Vietnam, so they don't matter to me. I am not being offensive about this. I mean, what if he already has someone in mind that is not me? What if I got rejected, and probably, I couldn't bare the pressure, the pain I have to endure. That's why, in this 12-ish year of studying, I tried to ignore and set the feeling "love someone other than my family" aside, and focus on studying to pass grades, before heading to university And well, what Martha said is very true, you are still young and naive about your surroundings, you need to understand life first, before making decisions, that might affect your future.

And oh well, Henderson did say so himself: I was still so ignorant. So obsessed with pursuing my ideals... so desperate to radically change the world... that I couldn't keep step with those around me... or even spare a thought for the hearts of those even closer.

After two and a half years... she managed to become a Imperial Scholar, as she promised to him when they were still together at their own tea party-break.

And who would have thought that the new teacher they were about to greet was Henderson!?

And that's the end of chapter 97!

P.s.1. Bruh, I wish romance in real life could be like this... Lost and found again, and fall in love. And here I thought it would end up like this (I wish I COULD end up like this) but no, I still single :"))

And we all thought, Martha and Henderson will be on good terms again, like a fellow senpai and his trustworthy kouhai...

Chapter 98

At the start of the chapter, we finally have a reunion of Martha and Henderson (his first name is Henry, but I prefer to call Henderson). And we thought it would stay the same as that, still chatting at tea party... alongside with taking cover for bombs and war outside, of course.

Well, that's not until... this happen.

And there goes her future career in ballet... :"(((

Martha was depressed, but then something unbelievable just happened... Martha decided to join the army.

And what she said is true, they are living in the world where weapons are everything. Either you are saved from being killed or being killed. Survival is everything on the battlefield. Martha has to stand up and fight back, or she will lose everything. She has no choice, after all...

Henderson recalled himself as hard-headed, kinda stubborn, lost in a world of idealistic, where he thought that education can save the world, yet it worth nothing...

He was a history teacher, and you know what they say, let the past be the past.

When Martha heard that his parents were about to look for a wife, she overheard that and shed in tears. She knew that she ran out of time. You know already that I mentioned in chap 97 that she was in love of Henderson. She stood tall and bold, acted strong before the graduation ceremony and the ball dance.

While every ladies dressed in beautiful gowns and dressed, she dressed in an army suit, which surprised Henry.

And holy- their dance is hilarious, first time I saw his flaws in dancing, quite inelegant for a gentleman.

And the hit point, she was trying to confess her love to him... But it feel a bit... sudden and I felt it was missing something...

The English translate: "How much I truly come to-"

But in the Vietnamese translate: "Em thích a-" -> "I love y-" (it's a bit blur)

And that's the end of part 1

Part 2 coming soon...

P.s.2. Tatsuya-san really know how to make us insane.

Why!? It was good all the sudden! I was hyped after reading this, and then I became bored... This is the definition of a cliff-hanger. Well done, Tatsuya-san, you really know how make us drive insane :) Our adrenaline is rising and waiting for your next chapter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The author's few words: Thank you for reading this!!! I've been busy lately, because I'm about to take my entrance exam (abt to die :"))) ), so after this post is posted, I'll be inactive for this blog for a week or so. I need to take a break from the test, it is pressured :")

Any ways, in truth, after chapter 98 was out for a while, I already start working on this. But it is hard for me to find time typing this (or could be I'm lazy), so long that chapter 99 just out a few days ago...

So Part 2 will be about chapter 99 then :)))

[llamaisllama777]

LAES,TSAMS,MGAFS Weekly*/Daily* review 👏 👏 👏

Congratulations 🎊 👏 💐 🥳

Earth and Lunar did it! 100k subscribers! 👏 👏 well done, you both! And well done, Kat and Reed. They all have worked so hard... it's not even funny how hard they've worked. I like how we got a trip down memory lane in this episode, just them talking about how their lives have been and all they've gone through. Lunar and Earth DESERVE that party!

Drop was just an absolute menace in this episode! I loved every minute of it, especially when he melted all the rubber balls together and Sun was like "I just want to talk to him. I just want to talk to him. I just want to talk to him. I just want to kill him. I just want to kill him." I loved the reference.🤣 all that was missing was the shotgun and it would have been even better.

I thought that Drop would stick around a bit, I was thinking, 🤔"Hmm, him and Jack would make great friends." KA-BOOM!

"Never mind." 😃 probably for the best they killed Drop. This episode also made me realize, I feel so bad for both Sun and Moon. Moon was back for what? Three days? A week? And now people are starting to drop all their problems on him. Not like Sun and or the rest of the family but like Puppet and Monty and look I get it, they are in way over their heads here but still he's back for a week and now he's gotta...

* checks list *

Help Sun with the daycare, help build an anti-puppter device, destroy Ruin's negative star power generator, make Dazzle a new body, maybe make Molten a new body, stop Nexus and Dark Sun, stop Creator, help Lunar with the Astrals, and possibly defend himself in court against the Astrals. So, ya, I'd say he's got a full plate!

And I feel bad for Sun cause now Drop wrecked the daycare. What a surprise another one of Moon's inventions hurt Sun in some way. Just someone help these two also LUNAR WHY DID YOU DRINK BLEACH?! YOU KNEW IT WAS IN THE SODA MACHINE?!?!?!!?!?!?

Aww, F.C.'s jealous, that's actually kinda cute, he really loves his new Puppet mom. Speaking of Puppet mom, Puppet, didn't you just disown Jack? Make up your mind! I love Jack and F.c.'s interactions. Jack's just being his spinny self and F.C.'s is plotting his murder also...

GOTHIC TREASURE BOX IS ACTUALLY CANNON!

I am now just learning this! I was talking to someone the other day, and they said Foxy and Puppet were a couple, and I believed them, but I wanted to be a 100% sure... welp needless to say, I am 110% sure. Add this to the list of ships.

F.c and Jack actually make great friends l, you did good with those two Puppet.... and now Jack,F.C. and Vageta are now friends... evacuate the city.

12/10 <- Cause it's a special day for Lunar and Earth! Congratulations to everyone involved with the making of the show!

We really do appreciate all the hard work you guys put into it. The writers,the actors, the thumbnail artist, the editors, you all are amazing! Thank you for the wonderful show you have given us. I don't think any of them will see this, but if they do, I hope you know we appreciate you.

-Llama

[sansloii]

Muses that would sleep together if they could pick (and disregarding plot and a bunch of other reasons)

MIKAH

Evan (eventually do and theyre the same level of stupid)

Andy (Is their type kinda)

Vega (Listen--)

PENNY

Dakota only, honestly. 🤣 but they'd be cute

WYNN

Evan (this man would put Wynn through so much nonsense)

Roderick (im not explaining this because i dont have to)

Lawali (They would be such a cute couple don't even play with me)

EVAN, assuming he wouldnt fuck Everyone

Mikah (again, same level of stupid)

Dakota (The way this man would blow up her phone--)

Wynn (Evan's offered and he'd do it again)

Lawali (They dated already so-)

Andy (on this episode of problematic men that Evan would absolutely be enamored with--)

DAKOTA

Roderick (who wouldn't? Like is this even a question?)

Penny (they'd have very good banter and lord, Koko would enjoy that so much)

Andy (This is a solid maybe. If she's feeling like stressing herself out? Sure.)

Lawali (his dog is very cute. He's very cute in general too.)

JOSEPH

Vega (shocked but not surprised)

Roderick (Roderick would be good for him but he may not be good for Roderick)

Lawali (They stress me out a little but I'm sure they'd be fine)

RODERICK

Dakota (because why wouldn't he? Also theyd be good together and i am a slut for the very obvious dynamic they'd have)

Wynn (I honestly have no reason why I think theyd be cute. I just do)

Joseph (have you ever wanted to see two older men kiss? Yeah that's where i am at)

ANDRIS

Mikah (in a heartbeat and after the heartbeat stops)

Wynn (Andy would be oh so bad for him and that's a promise)

Dakota (he would also be bad for her)

Lawali (him too. Very bad)

VEGA

Mikah (not justifying myself)

Joseph (also not justifying myself)

Lawali (still not justifying myself)

LAWALI

Wynn (BECAUSE THEYD BE SO CUTE)

Dakota (He would legit trip over his words in front of her)

Evan (on the flipside, listen-)

Vega (Okay but if Vega doesnt do any of his weird shit--)

Joseph (this one is actually genuine, now that i think about it. Still stressful though)

[shalikneez]

fourth wing thoughts (no spoilers):

while reading:

- MIRA IS HOT she reminds me of totk zelda

- xaden scares me lowk

- why is xaden so mf big. HUH?! enormous ginamanasaurus motherfucker. in my head he’s 5 foot 10 inches and sleeper bod. next question

- i know rhiannon is sexy. need more of her!

- omg chronic illness mc YES

- violet is so cool lowk like acknowledges her weaknesses ✅ improves herself ✅ isn’t annoying ✅ isn’t a bitch unless ur a bitch to her first ✅ smart as fuck ✅

- bitchass jack barlowe reminds me of nacho cheese doritos.

- dain more like DAMN why don’t u shut the hell up 🤣

- dain is so protective savior complex core like bro has no faith in her aaaahdhdh honestly i would have snapped sooner because like why is he always talking like she’s a child and needs to be saved

- xaden on the other hand is always hyping her up. which is great but occasionally he goes over the top imo . we get it ur down bad my guy

- she’s sooooo silly calling xaden out in public all the time

- so happy dain x violet romance didn’t last. he reminds me of chaol from throne of glass

- ngl thought violet was gonna be the whiny shy useless mc but the whole book up to 60% is all about her getting stronger and cooler and hotter and she’s confident and figures her shit out without complaining

- i loooove her and her sibling’s relationship. it’s so real ngl. book of brennan is so cute. brennan and mira, and mira and violet. i love them.

- violets armor from mira is so cool ik she looks hot in it. fan art better slay

- NAOLIN MENTIONED ‼️‼️

- if she says “rippling muscle” or “he’s so beautiful” one more fucking time—expand ur vocabulary girl 😩

- dain bruh stfuuuuu bro is so annoying he probs looks like this 🤓

- so many cliches but all the cool world building and shit balances it out so well like i don’t even mind that much

- yeah she’s gonna get a special dragon obvi

- i was right 🤭

- dragon descriptions make me 😁😁😁 it’s so httyd and so much detail and care put into it i love it

- dragon world building is so 💗💗

- tairn the dragon u are so cool to me

- i want a dragon

- i miss mira

- xaden is so cool. reminds me of a wolf

- TAIRN IS SO UNSERIOUS 🤣🤣 sarcastic ass dragon

- MATES LMAOOOO so sarah j maas coded

- LIAM IS SOOOO CUTE so puppy dog :) sawyer too

- oh the telepathic connections. it’s so sjm up in here

- telepathy aspect is cool tho i like how this author writes it <3

- why r the dragons getting hot and heavy 🥵 🤨

- omg kisss!

- MIRA OMYGOD I LOVE U I MISSED U SO MUCH MY WARRIOR QUEEN

- ngl around 70% it’s not as entertaining as all the deathly challenges and trials from the beginning

- omg violets power 😮 im a slut for opposite aesthetics

- oh. not a fan of the monster dick sex. uncomfy lowk. good for them though 👍

- ok politics. i don’t care that much.

- OKAY CLICHE DIALOGUE I SEE YOU it’s so weird i’m not even that bothered by it when normally i would be

- this is becoming more romance than death-defying war college stuff :/

- lovers quarrel. lovers share trauma. then lovers make up. idgaf!

- me when the romance book is romancing 😐

- basic adult romance dialogue! welcome back. how are you today

- more monster dick sex. how lovely.

- xaden’s muscles keep rippling. bro stay still!

- man what kinda sex is rebecca yarros having 🧐👁️

- omg plot

- omg TENSION! BETRAYAL! TWISTS!

- oh the climactic end-of-book battle. ngl none of these details are processing in my head. what fight?

- i know someone had to die but why that particular person. man :(

- i’m sure this battle and strategy and action scenes are so slay. i’m dissociating tho lol

- aw xaden likes her so much. simp

- CLIFFHANGER 😮

overall: i liked the first half better than the second half. first 50% was soooo addicting. i loved the world building and dragons and war college and challenges so much but i’m just not a huge romance person. like the romantic buildup is amazing but afterwards i’m just meh. of course there was the expected tropey/ cliche/ booktok moments BUT most of it was overshadowed by how great the other aspects of the writing was. i dissociated at the end and didn’t really feel attached to violet or xaden or even the dragons (this is a me problem) but i think the ending is great set up for book 2 (will probs give it a read). like u can tell where the book is going but then the author does something unique to make it a little different than other books in this genre, so idk how many surprises book 2 will have. the fact that i read this is in less than 24 hours says a lot though. i hope mira comes back :D

[spaceymarz]

[Queen of Tears ep 12]

Haein is making me flip out a bit. i'm trying SO BAD to trust her judgment, but i'm also scared as fuck that she'll get manipulated by Eunseong again (even when she thinks she's double-crossing and outsmarting him). girl don't go anywhere alone with him, don't feel bad for him, don't change your answer after he tells you something new, don't believe anything he says, don't eat any food he gives you 🤮 she doesn't even know he's drugged her before!! she doesn't even realize he's lying about saving her when she drowned. GIRL GET AWAY FROM HIM !! 🤮🤮

(chronological typing as i watch the episode)

i keep worrying about Haein so much that i forget that people are literally trying to MURDER Hyunwoo 😭😭 whatever, he can take care of himself

the chains on grandpa's tie are CRAAAAZY that's a WICKED detail 💀💀💀

BAEK HYUNWOO is he fucking invincible or something? the climax of this show must be him actually getting beaten up (ouuu don't say that) since he's avoided it so many times 💀

did Lady Moh actually do all that shit for Eunseong?? she's kind of an icon and a moment if all that's true. also the way they're stepping on the broken glass and Eunseong is bleeding is so cunty. "if you don't want her to get hurt, don't let her use you. i won't stand for it." MOTHERRRRRRR

the juxtaposition between the way Haein and Hyunwoo express love vs the rest of the plot is sooooo 😭😭 they're so cute

Soocheol trying to learn how to fight so he can protect Dahye and Gonu, who he still calls his family (🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺) meanwhile Gonu's bio father is a shitbag is so 💔💔💔 HWAITING SOOCHEOL OPPA 🗣🗣 i hope he gets to beat that guy up at least once

not to be rude, but does the actor who plays Dahye's [boyfriend? BD?] kinda suck? 😭 it's giving me second-hand embarrassment. i can't tell if Dahye's actress is bad, too, or if the guy's acting is just throwing me off.

did Dahye just drug him and run?? 🤣 i love how this show doesn't drag anything out, and i'm way happy that i don't have to sit through more abusive man scenes.

"don't smile at me. gosh, handsome men are dangerous." she's sooo 🤭🤭🤭 i love her dedication to her coin, too.

TEARS IN MY EYES Soocheol defending Gonu 💔💔💔 that's his baby boy quit playing with him 🥺 he's a DAD!

it's fucking funny how this show has epilogues for things that were explicitly implied in the main part of the episode. they can't leave SHIT up to the imagination 💀

[upthehillask]

Gryffindor and Slytherin so overrated in the books. If there is a good person, they must be in gryffindor. If there is a bad person (mostly) slytherin. And if we need a side character (and not that important) they are ravenclaw/hufflepuff. Like Hufflepuff only have cedric(dead) and tonks and ravenclaw only have luna. Nothing more.

Like i hate even sorting hat saying; gryffindor wanted brave kids, slytherin wanted cunning kids, ravenclaw wanted smart kids AND Hufflepuff takes OTHERS.?? wtf i literally hate that. And I find it very funny when Jk rowling says her fav house was hufflepuff. Yea sorry bro i don't buy it :)

I think you are Hufflepuff, what do you think about this?

Yeahh JKR definitely wrote the story in very simplified, archetypical terms, with exaggerations of characters, plot events, motifs, etc. It IS a children's book, at least at the start, so I guess that makes sense, but I get how it's a bit frustrating now that the Harry Potter world has expanded so drastically outside of the books themselves. Meaning that the gaps in representation (whether it's something fictional like Hogwarts houses, or something real like proper minorty representation, for example) are particularly obvious now and hard to ignore.

ikr, JKR saying her fav house is Hufflepuff is such a cop out🤣 It's still kinda cute though how Helga Hufflepuff, when establishing the Hufflepuff house, was like fuck it, anyone is welcome here💛 what a queen bee And yes, I am indeed a Hufflepuff! Hope you're still happy with your house though, whichever it is!

[torihakaraublog]

Obey Me! Nightbringer "Happy ⭐️ Holidays!" Pop Quiz pt.1

!SPOILER WARNING FOR THE EVENT!

My thoughts on part one of the 2023 Christmas holiday event.

Okay so first off I have to talk about the sprite outfits. They are split into 2 types; Santa's (??) (The brothers) and reindeer (everyone else). Personally I think all the 'Santa' ones are kinda meh, prob cause some of the brothers colours are not holiday colours. The reindeer ones are adorable and fit the holiday spirit great, except Luke's. Luke's is just kinda lacking, they could have taken him out of his beret just this once. Solomon's is my favorite! It looks so comfy.

It felt like there was alot going on with this event so I probably missed some things.

Event starts off with the announcement of a holiday decorating competition to win the Krampus Star which grants a single wish. Probably my least favorite Christmas activity to do in a group lol but it's a good premise.

This turned into a hallmark movie real quick 🤣

Levi you good here?? Lmao

I'm just casually forced to help every one, then who ever wins I have to approve their wish. Please everyone is gonna wish for the same thing (spend Christmas with me) and I'll end up spending it with everyone anyways...

Now things start getting weird. Everyone is fighting and Barbatos figures out its a rare moon cycle that released an Dark Demon Santa (I started laughing here).

Collecting things with everyone was kinda cute. An adorable momment between Lucifer and Beel that solidified my HC that Lucifer can't say no to picking up Beel tho hes too heavy xD Also liked that Mammon got to show a bit of his responsible older brother side! <3

The spell takes over everyone and Raphael is told to break up the fights for some reason tho he has a short fuse himself.

Then somehow everyone decides not to fight and it works?? Christmas spirit??

I was basically shaking in my boots at learning Diavolo absorbing the DDS's power was the only plan and if it goes bad the Devildom would be left without a ruler for some time. Like this is SERIOUS serious! (And also makes the plot super intresting :0)

So glad they included a conversation between Diavolo and Lucifer (tho it would have been better if I wasen't there). Diavolo gave Lucifer the new start he and his brothers needed and I know if something happened to Diavolo, Lucifer would blame himself. This conversation was needed so he could know where he stood in relation to the problem/solution if I'm making any sense.

I think I'm gonna piss myself (sorry for the crude language lol)! THANK YOU BUT GIVE IT TO BARBATOS NOT ME.

The context for this image is Solomon beginning to understand Christmas spirit :3

Foods Mentioned

Mushy Shroom (in cave??)

Quetzalcoatl Brain Sandwich (cafeteria, apparently Bel's fave)

Quetzalcoatl Brain Pudding (cafeteria)

pudding and sandwich are mixed later on.

I'm assuming in the next part of the event we are gonna have to find the DDS 🤔

[shelbydelrey]

Heyyyy I’m starting to read Pride and Prejudice and I thought I’d let you know since you’re a big Jane Austen fan. I’ve only ever read Emma by her, so I’m excited. Do you have any other recommendations? I was looking to read Northanger Abbey since it’s one of her more gothic works.

Hi, M 😃 It's so nice to see you, girlie 🤗

But honestly, i don't know if i'm the right person to make Jane Austen recommendations 😅 I'm not as versed in her work as some people are and i'm a fan simply for the ✨vibes✨ 🤣

Pride and Prejudice, in my basic bitch opinion, is her best book and the most entertaining (i could easily see Emma becoming the most entertaining out of the two for you because the girl is a *hot mess* 🤭). Lizzie is just an incredible heroine and seeing/reading her not accepting Darcy's bullshit is hilarious and the work Ms. Austen made on Darcy is just - insert gif of me biting a pillow here - marvelous. He's an asshole, yes but instead of being played as some bad boy swag, it's shown that he's terribly awkward introvert king: Best Austen Hero, no dispute there! (fyi this is my *my opinion* in case anyone disagrees and wants to come for my head).

I haven't read Northanger Abbey myself yet (although i plan on doing it soon) and i feel weird recommending Reason and Sensibility and/or Mansfield Park because they're kinda boring? 😂 I love this two stories and Mansfield Park is even my second favorite Austen book but the plots and character conflicts are heavily focused on moral and the romance is just embarrassing 😒. It's very Jane Austen if you're accostumed with her work but unless you have the patience to sit through it i don't see why you should bother.

Persuasion is short and kinda cute, so maybe you should try it? 😅 Sorry for the rambly mess! I hope i helped somewhat.

[mrsbsmooth]

Red, White & Royal blue: live blind reaction.

I have never read the book, I have no idea of the plot, I have a two line summary.

Let’s go.

There is so much exposition in this it’s not even funny

PRESIDENT UMA THURMAN!

Is the book written like this what the fuck this is kind of bad

Where was Prince Henry’s actor when they were casting the crown fr he’s a dead ringer for baby wills

Don’t get me wrong. The two main characters are fucking hot as shit, but the actual story and the dialogue is so predictable

Alex has the eyelashes of a god

The budget for this is… not high. The president’s son can only afford to have like 50 people at his party? And it’s in a marquee tent with fairy lights instead of at a venue? The fuck? Lol

And they’re skipping all the relationship development.

Okay wait Get Low just came on

Henry watches TV, but he’s never heard popular music?

Oh this everyone getting low except then thing is kinda cute but a little cringe but actually a lot cringe. I refuse to believe that someone who drags their mate to the DF for get low isn’t getting aforementionedly low.

Aw Henry leaves when Alex kissed a girl, methinks he’s got a little crush

OH

OH I SEE

oooooooooooooooooooo

Aw cute Henry likes him. Wish we’d had a little more foreshadowing of that though cause it seems like they were just friends. Could’ve done with a bit more from Henry’s POV

God this snow is so fake though I’ve never even seen snow but that was so obviously a closed set

Pairing up the only two black characters I see hmmm

The actress who plays Nora is absolutely adorable

Both women leaders I love it

Omg did he not come to the party naur his poor little empty place card

Did his place card say “Prince Henry” I’m fucking sorry but a black tie event he would be “HRH” AT LEAST, and they would be using Alex’s full first name (assuming it’s Alexander) or just Mr. Full first name and Surname who wrote this you know nothing of etiquette 🤣

Miguel hot. Please don’t sleep with him though please Henry will be sad.

Alex you didn’t tell him off the record you eejit

REDRUM

OKAY HER WALKING IN ON THEM WHHXHCHHAHAHAHA IM DYING OMG THAT WAS SO GOOD

Are you still…. “Like Stonehenge”

“Your Royal hardness”

Omfg I’m dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣 that’s so cute

He did NOT just pat Henry’s ass in public babe you’re gonna get him in trouble

OH OKAY THIS JUST GOT GOOD LETS HAVE A BJ SCENE

oh wait no it didn’t. They really just faded to black on me 😒

“Keep it Casual” rude and not okay

And also wtf did Henry get off too or did he just blow Alex and leave. What happened to “I’m gonna do terrible things to you” like no sir it sounds like you just got a blowjob and then didn’t reciprocate. Lover of the year 10/10 (sArCaSm)

THOSE GREY PANTS HIDE NOTHING ALEX GODDAMN

Why are there bagpipes playing at a polo match?

I’m sorry but for people trying to keep things quiet they sure talk about their sexual escapades in public a lot

A mouthful muahahahha called it with the grey pants alex is hung like a horse

Oof Alex got swerved for the hand hold that’s a big ouch

Aww the bit where he’s not sure who’s topping and who’s bottoming it’s such a mood and it’s cute.

Okay stop. Wait. I’ve paused this. Anyone who says they went to boarding school as a justification for being gay or experienced is lying. I went to an all girls boarding school, and my husband went to an all boys. All boys schools are some of the most disgustingly homophobic places on the fucking planet. If he’s saying that all the boys are fucking each other he’s dead wrong. If anything he’d be so shamed for being even remotely gay that he’d be traumatised. Fuck boarding school. Okay back to the movie.

Ooooh damn alex has a great body

Oh wow this is actually really fucking cute

I can’t believe how wrong I was about you FUCK OFF THIS IS SO CUTE

Aaaaaahhhh!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! THIS SEX SCENE IS SO ROMANTIC AND CUTE!

I can’t help but laugh with the hand closeups though it’s so titanic and cringe

But the facial closeups are *beautiful*

These guys are phenomenal actors I’m so glad they didn’t fade to black for that scene. But the directing is… interesting.

Pausing to find out if the actors are gay

Unconfirmed for both. I ship them together they look beautiful as a couple.

“I’m learning” oh fuck off that’s beautiful

Oof the plane home is a mood alex is so in love.

His mum is right though. She can’t do shit unless she gets re-elected

Wait was he formerly allowed to speak to the press lol since when??? As if he’s authorised.

“Yes madam president” oh shut up you angsty teenager 🤣 this is so “you just don’t GET me mom and daddddd”

Awww he’s so cute with his Texas thing though

THE EMAILS BACK AND FORTH

WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT IN PUBLIC

Wouldn’t it have been more romantic for him to be waiting in Alex’s apartment because then he actually would’ve been able to greet him properly instead of just grabbing his shoulder like “what are you doing here”

Miguel KNOWS and this is bad bad bad. Why the evil Hispanic man though?

AHAHHAHAHHA ZAHRA STORMING IN WHERE IS SHE omfg she is by far my favourite character in this whole movie

“Who knows about this?” “Literally no one but you. And the secret service. And Percy. And Nora. Oh and I told my sister. Oh I didn’t know that? Yeah she’s really happy for us.” BSHCHJCJSHAHHAAHHAHA

That was my favourite line so far hands down

Technically I’m the spare CHCISOOAK PRINCE HARRY CODED 🤣🤣🤣🤣

As for you little lord fuckleroy I will brexit your head from your body OKAY ZAHRA HAS THE WORLDS BEST DIALOGUE NEW FAVOURITE LINE

THE BOW - your royal highness omfg I’m dead Zahra deserves an award and an Oscar the actress is so good

Aw the talk with mum awww this whole thing is cute. Bestie Uma is an ally. Her telling him about bottoming is so iconic omfg

Aw look at Henry in a flannel shirt 😂

The karaoke omfg and he sucks 😂

Alex is so in love holy shit

Aw and Alex’s dad loves him

THE SHUFFLE CLOSER ON THE DOCK

WHAT A CALLBACK

oh

Oh no

Oh I don’t like this

I don’t like the look on Henry’s face rn

Oh wow alex just got swerved.

I— *splash*

That’s how I’m leaving every uncomfortable conversation from now on. Just roll away and splash into the water.

HES LEAVING COMPLETELY?!!!!???!

Aw i like your dog what’s his name

Wait where’s the dog I want more dog

Quickly checks doesthedogdie.com

Only one report and it says no so I think we’re good.

Did you actually end things with Alex though? NO YOU DID NOT. You just GHOSTED HIM

Nora’s right go to london

OH HES HERE HES AT THE GATE shkskskksksks

oh my god Henry’s speech is heartbreaking.

“I can love you and want you and still not want that life. I’m allowed. And it doesn’t make me a liar. It makes me a man with some infinitesimal shred of self preservation and you don’t get to come in here and call me a coward for it.”

Okay whelp now I’m crying. Being a prince do be like that. Except fuck Harry and Meghan for reals.

Well you can’t just not let anything happen to you. Because nothing will ever happen to you. Isn’t this what Dory says to Marlin in Finding Nemo wtf 😂 PLAGIARISM

I’m pretty sure the royal family don’t have a key to the British museum please correct me if I’m wrong, they could have magic skeleton keys to every building in Britain but it seems unlikely.

Circling a sculpture of a male torso like sharks hmm yes the deepening of the movie such imagery much wow very meaning

Please don’t dance amongst the statues that’s really cringe

Aw okay no I take it back it’s cute.

Elvis? it should’ve been a Bowie song just saying.

OH WAIT THE DOGS NAME IS DAVID I JUST REMEMBERED awww yesss hope nothing happens to david

Aw they’re dancing like they’re at a school disco 🤣

History huh? Bet we could make some.

PLEASE Alex waking up in Buckingham palace 😂 that’s gonna be an awkward walk of shame past the paparazzi 🤣🤣🤣

The chain on that key is new it is not old. When did he make that necklace yesterday?

OH MY GOD NO NOT THE EMAILS

#Hacked

No

No

No

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

WHY WONT THEY LET THEM TALK THIS IS DUMB AND STUPID

Surely someone has a sneaky phone they can hook them up on COME ON!!!!!

I fucking knew it was Miguel. Even when I thought it was the palace I knew it was him.

“This is about privacy” eek Prince Harry is gonna love this IRL

That whole speech from Alex was beautiful. Also means they can’t deny anything which is probably not the best strategic move I hope Henry’s not mad that he did that. Stupid idealistic Americans.

ZAHRA IM OBSESSED WITH YOU YOURE THE REAL QUEEN AND SHES FUCKING THE EQUARRY OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS IM IN LOVE IS ZAHRA SINGLE I WANT TO MARRY HER

SKINNY PERFECT ASS hjcicidoskkcncjidisokncnnfmdkskskkckkckcjncnsnamkck

“Baby” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“I’m coming to london” WHY DID YOU NOT DO THAT AS SOON AS THE EMAILS GOT LEAKED

Omg that hug on the stairs stop it they’re actually so beautiful together

HES NOT PLAYING YANKEE DOODLE ON THE PIANO

Did Henry see Alex’s speech tho I kinda need to know

OH YAY HE SAW IT jcjcjdkksoxjjcncks

“Your boyfriend”

Oh the king wants to see them oh shiiiit

THE SIGNET RING

Shut the fuck up Phillip you Poncy cunt

THEY

No

NO THEY DIDNT

They did not get STEPHEN FUCKING FRY to play a HOMOPHOBIC KING

Bsbchjcjsjdjkckfkkdmsa I am laughing so fucking hard right now I’m crying I actually had to pause it I’m laughing so hard

THIS CASTING DIRECTOR EITHER NEEDS AN OSCAR OR A RAZZY I CANT DECIDE

Why haven’t they bowed all the royals now to each other

He smokes lol the king does not smoke they would consider it vulgar these days

That is a LARGE glass of whisky. Like that is four shots minimum.

Dear God, this King is so fucking stupid if he thinks that this can be explained with Clandestien reports after Alex has just done like a super romantic beautiful speech publicly acknowledging their relationship .

Like what is he expecting Henry to say that Alex was lying and he was making it up to further his mums political campaign?

Hommo sek siual 🤣🤣 I’m sorry but Stephen fry playing a homophobe is just so far outside the realm of me being able to suspend my disbelief I’m just PMSL

They will not accept a Prince- just wait

Now is the part where there’s a giant crowd supporting him

CALLED IT

GO

YAYYYYYYYYYY aww they’re so cute together aww aww awww yayyy look at all the pride flags

Of course the election hangs on Texas lol

It’ll come down to Austin

Writing her concession speech on election night I think not this would’ve been preappproved weeks ago

Prince would not be on stage he wouldn’t be allowed either by the royals or by his security team or by the Democrats lol

AND THE MOVIE’S OVER

Rachel Hilson that’s her name I love her

Someone needs to tell me if the book has better pacing than this because the pacing was all over the place for the first 45 minutes. The rest of the movie was great but idk

OH THERES A POST CREDITS 🤣 aww cake YAY that’s so cute abbdbsjajhahahahqh

There we go.

Overall not bad but the pacing and exposition was really off at the start. Lucky I’m procrastinating from writing otherwise I might’ve turned it off lol.

Love the actors (especially Alex’s eyelashes babe what mascara you using damn) and their chemistry but idk the writing was a bit cringe in parts. Really well acted though.

Recommend-ish?

Edit: it’s now the next day and I’ve had time to think about it. And the more I think about it the more I’m fucking in love with this movie

How rarely do we get to just see two silly little boys in love with none of the trauma dumping or anything just a beautiful little romcom for two happy little gays

10/10 idc about the exposition and cringe I loved it and it deserves the world.

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

thousand autumns donghua, episode 14~

(episode 14 already??? IS IT ALMOST OVER?? OH NOOO I’M HAVING TOO MUCH FUN ;A;)

AH our intrepid duo have arrived at bixia sect!!!

aww the cute bby likes the scener--OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS DEAD

OH NOOOO THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! WTF???!??

i am glad that shiwu is getting some extra trauma btw, it'd be a shame if he had a normal childhood after all this

YAN WUSHI'S EYES WENT ALL PURPLE!!

he frowmn >:( like dis >:(

oh!!! my son is here MY SON IS HERE HI BBY!!!!

UH. wow the old man wiping blood off his mouth in a. kinda sexy manner??? hawt. 😳😳😳

yu shengyan all worried about him ;A; the letter, all symbolically splattered with blood ;A; wHAT A SCENE

is this a flashback??

ruan hailou!!! idk u yet but my opinion is low bc u and pu anmi are killing these ppl who seem v nice

AAAAHHHH TOO MANY NAMES!!! i'm getting a bit overwhelmed by all the introductions!! i’ll try my best, but pls forgive me if i get names wrong or miss a few ;A;

yue kunchi, ok he's a disciple here....that miniature chinstrap beard thing on him is....a choice 👀

also some of these other dudes have got like,,,,,,,sort of khitan style hair arrangements?? they look rad tho 💅

GIRL NO DON'T PROTECC HIM WITH UR BODY!!!

OHHH it's not a flashback!! SHEN QIAO ARRIVES JUST IN TIME TO HELP!!!!

lmao ruan hailou thinks he's the main character, it's very cute

ahh is pu anmi from the south then?? his animations are rly good actually, like i can just FEEL the disdain dripping off him, i can imagine him as an actual human in a live-action drama like, i've seen ppl do these....movements!! I LIKE IT!!!

ooh they gonna fight?? they gonna fight 😤

EWWWWWW HE LICKED THE SWORD!! DONT LICK UR SWORD MAN!! DO U KNOW HOW MANY DISEASES ARE BLOOD-BORNE. DO U WANT EVERY HEPATITIS. UR NOT SAFE FROM PLAGUE SIR

aww yisss now they fighting >:D

OH SHIT SHEN QIAO IS SHOWING HIM UP

FIGHTING TWO AT ONCE???? GET EM SHEN QIAO!!!! U ARE SUCH A BADASS SHEN QIAO!!!!

shen qiao is the epitome of 'float like a butterfly, sting like a bee' today with his gentle winds ability!!! such beautiful martial arts!! 🤩

i love how there's always a guy describing the fight for us, the audience lmao 🤣 like a sports announcer or something, but for martial arts 🤣

FUCK YEAH THIS FIGHT SCENE GOES SO HARD!!!! THIS IS GREAT!!!!

WOOOOOO!!!!

Zhao Chiying!!! A LADY SECT LEADER!!! she is beautiful omg ;A; she is so pretty and graceful ;A; they all respect her so much ;A;

bixia disciples: great to see u zongzhu!! ur killing it zongzhu!! :D

lol ruan hailou looks like he just saw his ex at a party. awwwkwarrrrdddd

OH SHIT ZHAO CHIYING IS KNEELING TO THIS LOSER?????

she is so polite!!! she's a better man than i tbh!! i would never bc i am impolite as fuck :D couldn't be me luv, couldn't be me 😌👌

SUCH HONOUR. SUCH DIGNITY.

ohhh was........was ruan hailou accused of assaulting the previous master's daughter?? but he didn't do it, and he was wrongfully exiled from bixia sect?? maybe the subtitles are a bit unclear, or maybe i'm a bit dumb, or maybe it's both (it's probably both lol)

aaaawwwwww the disciples love her so much ;A;

OH GREAT EVERYONE IS NOW CRYING

wtf is even happening anymore??? im so confused lol

lol yeah girl u could have intervened BEFORE ur disciples got killed but whatever

now pu anmi is a prisoner to bixia sect!!! they have ONE DUDE, one SKINTY DUDE, taking him away, unrestrained. that won’t end poorly at all (unless the plot declares otherwise lol 🤣)

pu anmi: U GUYS SUCK!! MY SHIZUN WILL RESCUE ME!! AND UR STUPID BOYFRIEND YAN WUSHI IS GONNA DIE!!! >:(

shen qiao: :(  but we're not friends anymore :(

OH SHIT IS THIS GUY GONNA KILL HIMSELF???? DON'T DO IT BRO WAIT WAIT

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH MY GOD HE JUST

HE JUST WENT OVER THE CLIFF LIKE

THAT WAS SO FUCKING SAD???? IDEK WHAT HIS DEAL WAS BUT WAS THIS REALLY THE ANSWER??? poor fucking man, he was a twat but like........i feel quite bad for the man!! nobody deserves to feel that there's no way out besides taking their own life ._. even if u have done really bad things....u can do better! as long as ur alive, things can change!!!

poor shiwu....standing by the table, wiping his tears....he's seen SO much ;A; my poor bby boyyyy i wanna hug him ;A; COME TO BIRB'S WINGS, CHILD!! I SHALL SHIELD YE FROM HARM!!! :V

shen qiao: well i brought shifu's kid all the way here :)

zhao chiying: yyyeah about that. can u keep him actually??

shen qiao: u couldn't have told me this BEFORE WE WALKED ALL THE WAY HERE?? :) whatever fine i'll keep him, he's mine now :)

AWWWW SHIWU'S KOWTOW WAS SO EXCITED!!! HE'S SO HAPPY OMG!!!!! SWEET CUTE BABBY ;A;

HE SNATCH THE TEA FROM ZHAO CHIYING BC HE'S SO EAGER TO HAND IT OVER OH MY GODDDD ;A;

btw are his parents and sister dead now?? his old man's probably in gaol for taking another child hostage but his mum and sister were starving to death on a bridge. do u suppose they sold him to zhu lengquan. do u think they got a good price

shen qiao: btw can i stay over ur place?? i need to kill a man :)

zhao chiying: sure why not lol

[padfootdaredmetoo]

Hi! Guess who?! ❤️Ahhhhh I just got to read the part you posted and I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!! Thank you for writing it!! I loved everything about it!! First off I love how they met so much!! Like it was so cute that the women had a sleep over and party for her first night!  Then the fact he called her 221C and was so grumpy about it😂 That made me laugh!! And Ebola was just precious in every way possible!!!! I think you wrote her character perfectly!! I love how all the Shelby women just took her right in too! ❤️❤️ I'm sure Ada and Esme would be sure to grill Tewksbury hard when they meet him!!😂😂 Also I just realized that Mycroft and Oswald Mosley are both played by the same actor and imagines the chaos of the Shelby's meeting him when you mentioned him being a twat😂😂 But I just love over all how you built up her relationship with Enola! 

And then Sherlock 🥰🥰🥰🥰 abhhh my beautiful brilliant man😂😂I'm not sure if I'm right, but the way I read it he seems to have broken in to her apartment (technically) when he came in the morning to get Enola and that cracked me up! I loved how she threw the book at home too then! Serves him right😂 but their "second" meeting was also so cute and I loved how she was like "don't hurt my enola" and he was like "your brother annoys mine and that makes me happy"😂😂 

And then oohhh the drama!!!!! Like I feel bad she was hurt (even though I knew it would happen🤭) but then like AHHHHHH Sherlock saving her was just!!🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 I also love how soft he was with helping her and the fact she was able to relax when she knew it was him!!!!🥰🥰 and ohhhh! She kissed him!! Also how he was like "you're in shock" and didn't let it go much farther ! Idk why but like I really liked that part. Conscious consent is attractive. 🥰🤣🤣🥰 AND THEN HE READ TO HER!!!! 😍😍😍 also I can absolutely see him arguing with. A fictional characters motives😂😂😂 he'd probably make a whole case file for why a fictional plan failed or guess what the ending was before the plot twist😂😂 

And then the whole rest of the ending made me laugh so much!!😂😂 I love the idea of a furious Enola trying to tell off Tommy and his brothers thinking they'd hurt basically her sister. And then Tommy just staring because is anyone else yelled at him like that (and of that) they would have been ☠️ but he can't to that to this small girl he doesn't know it but could probably take him in a fight decently well😂 And then awe!! I love how her family was relieve she was ok, but the men immediately went into like 🧍🏻‍♂️🧍🏻‍♂️🧍🏻‍♂️🧍🏻‍♂️ kinda stand off mode over protecting her both generally and brother wise😂 Also I like how Tommy took some of the blame for it too!! That part made me smile thinking like he did it because it was true but also because let's be honestly Tommy seems to have a soft spot for like the young and innocent in that even if he doesn't know them well he'll try to help them. Like the big brother in him saw Enola's feelings her hurt and was like "yeah we're gonna fix that's a bit" And I think Ada and Enola make the best tag team wing women ever😂😂 They were like "oh this is happening, this is very much happening." I love how they even brought Alfie into it😂 also YEAH WE'RE ALFIE's FAVORITE !!😂😂😂  also brief thought, Alfie and Enola😂😂 oh the chaos that would bring😂

And then the ends scene 🥰🥰🥰🥰 like all the scenes were 🥰🥰🥰 but I really like the end he was like the safest you'll be is by me so let's cuddle😂😂🥰🥰 and yeah! I loved this entire thing so much!! It was absolutely perfect and brilliant!! And thank you so much again for writing it!! I loved it and probable read it 4 times over before writing this so I could take it all in 😂😂🥰🥰 you're amazing!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hey Love,

Sherlock 100% broke into her apartment in that scene. I mention it in one of the parts I left out - but I just posted them!!

I am SO SO SO happy you enjoyed it! There is one more part I want to write for it. I'm just really so happy and I feel like for whatever reason that cross-over works so well. My mind has exploded over different Ideas I want to write for it so thank you for sending in this request and for waiting such a long time. Not to mention writing in to encourage me. Seriously it's been really nice chatting with you! <3 <3 <3

[synamartia]

Oh no. Oh, no no no no no, I do not like those warnings at all.

♡ ... Murder, dead bodies, allusions to bad things by bad men, Alastor has had bad times and will have bad times, bad kind of choking, domestic shit, Detective Brady, Obvious Sin

You're gonna make my heart hurt with this one, ain'tcha? Should I get some tissues and ice cream before I start reading?

♡ You let Alastor start the shower, remembering people often complaining you turned it too hot. Stepping into the tub and drawing the curtain around, you told him to face the water so you could clean his back. It wasn't dirty, you just wanted an excuse to touch and stare.

Me too, boo. If it's not sloughing off my skin, it's not hot enough.

♡ He looked down right bashful. It was so cute you wanted to shove your face in his crotch and scream.

I'm picturing an embarrassed Alastor rn and ASDFGHJKL-- my heart! It's melting! Whyyyy does every version of Al that ISN'T his normal charming, confident self make me wanna squeal like a schoolgirl? 😭

♡ Date makes a move. Alastor politely redirects. Date gets annoyed because it's not the first time he's done this. Alastor offers other ways to please them, be it his hands or his mouth. They either get sad ('You think I'm repulsive, don't you?!') or angry ('What kind of man are you?').

The kind I would sell my soul to without a second thought.

♡ If he didn't find them worth the effort, he would simply end the date then and there. But if he liked them enough, enjoyed their company enough, needed them for some purpose enough, he would acquiesce. They would touch him, and he would react like the touch-me-not plant he used to harass as a child, moving without thought from the stimulation. And he'd think about more engaging things until he got them to finish or he could say he did.

I had NO clue what a touch-me-not plant was, like I thought it was just a different name for the Venus fly trap. Shows how little I know about botany 🙃

♡ But like a fall from a mildly scary height into the sea, thrilling but safe, he tensed as your hands moved. When you began to wash his face, he hit the water feet first. His shoulders noticeably relaxed, and you thought you saw his chin shake a little, but you let it go to rub circles on his cheeks. You got behind his ears and under his chin. You tried to make a mustache but the soap didn't later well enough for that.

Okay, this whole time I've been scouring the chapters for specific scenes to draw, and I've finally found one. This. Is. ADORABLE! ❤ also kinda want to test the facial hair statement mentioned in the next paragraph. Y'know, for curiosity's sake. 🤔

♡ It tickled when he washed you, those soft fingers making bubbles across your skin. The steam was dampening his hair. Ah, you just noticed he wasn't wearing glasses.

God this is so cute! Intimate moments like these are one of my reasons for loving the slow burn~ Plus the innocence of it all just makes it 10x better, and the way you describe it-- *chef's kiss* Perfection! It's got me wanting to write a bath scene for Haunted once the raunchy sex is done; aftercare and all that jazz~ but my anxiety is kicking in hard, and I feel like if I did, it would be copying you somehow - not like verbatim, more so plot/course of events and such 🥺

♡ He squinted then made his eyes wide, "Hmm.... Two hands." You pushed him down with your foot to his chest, him catching himself with his arm. "At least I didn't say three, dear."

THE ATMOSPHERIC PIVOT. WE WENT FROM AWWWHHHS TO GIGGLE SNORTS IN .02 SECONDS 🤣 at least I didn't say three heheheh

♡ "I can do anything I damn well want." Your eyes skirted around his face before making him meet your gaze, "Atleast to the car. Okay?" Suddenly insecure about how aggressive you were, "Please."

BROOOOO-- I feel like this ALL THE FUCKING TIME, just never knew how to phrase it! I'm EXTREMELY aware of my over-zealous tendencies, and I'm constantly worried I'm being a nuisance and weirding people out, especially you, Mink, and Danny. So if I ever get to be too much, please tell me so I can tune it down a bit, okay? And I'm really sorry if I've already done it..

♡ It was unspoken, and somehow equally shocking as the night you grabbed a dead man by the legs, that you dressed each other. Domestic was the only word for it and it was downright frightening for you. But you didn't stop, some magnets in your fingertips drawn to the buttons of his shirt, to the collar you adjusted, to his glasses that you rested on the bridge of his nose.

How the fuck did you manage to make dressing one another sound more intimate than stripping each other down? so jealous rn

♡ Alastor hadn't any idea what he was doing, perhaps his mother had told him to do this and he had long forgotten it. Maybe he saw it in a movie. Or read it in a book. But gingerly, as you sat on a side of the bed away from Tommy, he knelt and rolled up your stockings, watching as you clipped them to the garter belt. He slipped on your shoes and took your hand to help you stand. As you put on your dress, his hands took the buttons at the bottom and yours took the top, meeting in the center. His newly clean fingers straightened out the wrinkles.

Second scene for drawing, saved~ ❤

♡ "Why did you work for a man like that?" Continuing to avoid your face, he busied himself with drawing the sides and corners of the canvas up like a giant sachet.

YES, THANK YOU. I'VE BEEN WONDERING THE SAME THING.

♡ As you both stood there, trunk full of Tommy between you, you were unaware of what little wildfires you'd set off in the other.

GAHHH-- I love your idioms so much! ❤❤

♡ Our. Your knees buckled a little.

*swoons* I'M RIGHT thERE WITH YA, BABYGIRL~!

♡ That grin erupted, beaming a toothy smile that warmed you to your core, "Endlessly fascinating." His fingers lingered on you until they were pulled away by the limits of his reach, him backing up to the car door, "Be safe. Good night."

Oh goodie, a perfect excuse to tell ya'll something adorable my kid does. Gather 'round, it's unrelated story time! My 4yo is still learning to speak clearly, and the way she says "careful" sounds like a really crude pronunciation of "oreo", so whenever someone leaves the house, she'll shout as loud as her little lungs will let her, "Be oreo!" So now instead of saying "be careful", Wifey and I will say, "Be an oreo!" ... We're gonna be those cringe parents that bring up embarrassing things our kids did to their prom dates, watch. 🤣 great, now I made myself sad by thinking about my girls growing up uggghhhh whhhhyyyyyy T.T

♡ Alastor rode home in silence, sometimes so lost in thought he would snap back to reality and realize he had no idea how long he had been driving. It would take a second but he would confirm he was still on the right path.

I do this too. Half the ideas I get for writing come from my driving daydreams. Just wish they sounded as good on paper as they do in my head 😭

♡ It was too soon to bring you to his home. He knew that was a logical statement. However, every other part of him wanted to carry you over his shoulder into his house and show you around, excited to hear your responses to the details of his safe harbor. He could cook for you. You two could push the sofa back and dance in the sitting room. The back porch was lovely for early morning reading.

Neither one of them wants to admit it's love, huh? *I Won't Say (I'm In Love) starts playing*

♡ Alastor would give nearly anything to share a set of plates with someone gentle, to have a set of hand towels in the bathroom for himself and someone patient, to warm two mugs in the morning with coffee for himself and someone understanding.

MY HEART. HAZEL I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS-- ❤️‍🔥💣💥

♡ He stared down at Tommy's pale face, clothes dirty and body stiffening on the metal work station of the greenhouse. He probably would never have learned about Tommy if not for you. No rumors or whispers or warnings about a theater manager abusing the artists in his employ were floating around.

I feel like my question will be answered if I just keep reading, or go back a couple chapters, but Tommy's abuse was still fairly new, wasn't it? I feel like, given enough time, he would've wound up on Alastor's radar eventually. 🤔 An alternative meet-cute for Al and Reader~ ❤

♡ "Detective Brady! The assistant manager can talk now." Someone called from down the hall. You continued covering your bruises, hoping he hadn't noticed them. With a pat to the door frame, metal ring clinking, he left.

THE FOREBODING. IT HAS RETURNED. Also, I can't remember if you described what Brady looks like, but all I see when I think of him is Kingpin from the Marvel Comics. 😶

♡ Surprisingly, the theater ran perfectly smoothly without Tommy. James, the assistant, stepped up and everything carried on as usual. The detective didn't come back, either. Rumor in the dressing room was that Tommy had been an open-and-close case of bad decisions leading to bad outcomes.

It's not that simple though, is it? I have a feeling Tommy's murder is gonna come back to bite our deer couple in the ass.

♡ Except for the small detail that you hadn't actually known where the west entrance was to the park, or even that the gates had names. But you found it easily enough. As you approached you could see him waiting, a blue suit without the jacket, was there a color he wouldn't look charming in?

Saaaammmmeeee. I am shit with directions. Give me landmarks, not the whole north/east/south/west shtick. I WILL get lost worse than Zoro (One Piece) ever could. 😂 also blue??? Color me intrigued 👀

♡ You spoke without thinking, something you never did, "You're too beautiful. I should go." Your attempt to turn away only half in jest. His bright laugh rang out, melting the muscles of your legs.

GIRL SAME.

♡ "Autumn, was it?"

OH HELL NO. YOU'RE NOT ABOUT TO RUIN THIS. GTFO HERE, PENCIL DICK.

♡ The detective, tall and lean, eyes a striking cool blue and hair the color of wheat, removed his hat. "Oh?"

Oh, wow. My mental image of Brady was SO far off, holy shit. 😂

♡ "Ah, well, you had good reason to be. Lucky coincidence seeing you here." He set his hat under his arm, "I was just headed to your manager's mother's home."

THE FUCK IT IS. COINCIDENCE, MY ASS.

♡ Were you wearing your perspiration pads under your dress? You think you were. If not, maybe you could just spill water on yourself and say it was a stain. Stiff, you took a seat.

Wait, those are a thing?!

♡ "I was hoping to interview the rest of you ladies. I was going to stop by tomorrow but, if you have a moment, what can you tell me about him?" His eyes looked like ice, their effect similar as a chill ran down your spine.

Oh, fuck me. Now all I see is Iwan Rheon. HAZEL, YOU'RE MAKING ME THIRST FOR THE BAD GUY OVER HERE i'm just a certified villian simp

♡ You stood up, slapping his shoulder, "I meant the theater! Sir!"

Maybe I'm just horny but I'd take him up to that studio where Tommy was killed - y'know, to "investigate" Why the hell am I down so bad for Brady now what the actual FUCK 😩

♡ "No. That night with Legs. He stopped me a quite a few blocks before I found you. Gave me his card and a warning about missing people and something about little ladies being out at night."

*snort* Legs. 😂

♡ His hand came over and gently rubbed your open palm with his thumb, "You're right. That was smart, thank you." Alastor smiled brighter, "Now! Let's put that behind us. I don't have a terribly long time. There's a couple things to discuss. Most importantly," he leaned over the table, face serious, "You think I'm beautiful?"

*inhales* BOI. such a cheeky lil shit istg

♡ When you told him you hadn't slept that well in weeks, and thanked him softly for his affection as you felt that had something to do with it, he hummed happily. He offered you his home phone number, you gesturing to the phone box at the corner in return.

Ah, payphones. I know today's technological advances have made them obsolete, but they still had SOME use left. Cell phones aren't always reliable, what with the whole battery life thing and signal dependency, not to mention, not everyone has the luxury of one, so why rip 'em all out? ... God I feel so old now.

♡ But finally, the moment you'd been waiting for. You called Alastor and he sounded tense, like he hadn't slept. With a simple "What's wrong?", he asked if you'd want to help him with work.

FUCK. YES. FINALLY GONNA GET OUR HANDS DIRTY am i too excited for this part?

♡ The look of betrayal on the man's face as his eyes flew from Alastor back to you increased Alastor's high was three fold. He asked the man already too gone to reply, if he remembered his staffer. "You should. She'll always remember you."

AHHHH VENGEFUL ALASTOR I LOVE IT

♡ But one night was atypical. One night was downright horrible.

Wait. Hazel, what are you doing? Where are you going with this? HAZEL WHAT'S GOING ON--

♡ You found your answer when the man smiled down at you, telling you how beautiful you looked in the starlight, how you'd stay so beautiful forever, and wrapped his hands around your neck. Capital "D" Dangerous.

GO FOR THE JEWELS, READER. TWIST IT, PULL IT, BOP IT!

♡ The man wasn't huge, but he was larger than Alastor. You watched the men struggle, slippery ground complicating Alastor's attempts to stay upright as he straddled the man, and he couldn't get leverage enough to bring down the knife. Horrified, you sat on your legs feeling helpless as the man lifted himself and Alastor off the ground entirely and tossed him onto his back. A small cry, Alastor rolled away revealing a rock where his back had landed.

LEAVE MY BABY BAMBI ALONE YOU BRUTE. D<

♡ He thought he heard you scream.

HAZEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL WHYYYYYYYYYY I LOVE THE SUSPENSE SO GODDAMN MUCH BUT WHYYYYYYYYY

Gonna go get some late night dinner, and then on to chapter five! Please let this end okay- *fingers crossed*

A Doe in Fall (part 4)

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦

Part 4 Enough

Alastor struggled with the prior expectations others had of him, but you eased them away with gentle hands. And to your great comfort, Tommy’s absence is noticed but not entirely shocking to anyone. With that concern behind him, finally, Alastor gives in to his own selfish wants and asks for your help with his “work.”

「Warnings/Promises: Human Alastor x Fem Burlesquer reader, No smut! No pussy eating! No fingering! It took away from the important events and Alastor’s mental health (I know he’s not real but he’s KINDA REAL?) so I didn’t include it. Next time! , Murder, dead bodies, allusions to bad things by bad men, Alastor has had bad times and will have bad times, bad kind of choking, domestic shit, Detective Brady, Obvious Sin」

You let Alastor start the shower, remembering people often complaining you turned it too hot. Stepping into the tub and drawing the curtain around, you told him to face the water so you could clean his back. It wasn’t dirty, you just wanted an excuse to touch and stare.

A moment of silence, you were a little scared to speak but had a question burning a hole in your pocket, “Do you like sex?” You ran the bar of soap down his back, no wash cloth in sight.

“It’s … pleasurable.”

Your mouth twisted, “I thought maybe…it didn’t work.”

He laughed, “You wouldn’t be the first. Works fine. I just don’t care to use it much. I don’t-“ a pause, he considered how to say it as he had never said it out loud before, “I don’t see the appeal, typically. There’s better ways to enjoy my time and chase pleasures than sweating over a stranger,” The word stranger floated in the air around you. Alastor felt the need to push it away, dispel it as quickly as he could, “Dancing is basically the same thing, which seems to be the issue with current society.”

“I can respect that. Well, I’m relieved you aren’t dependent on murder for an erection because I don’t think I can hide that many bodies.” A chuckle from him, but you grimaced. Not now, don’t joke now. Stop hiding from the uncomfortable vulnerability of blunt honesty. You were glad he couldn’t see your face, resting your head between his shoulder blades as you lazily washed his lower back and down, “Don’t push yourself. I know I’ve been-,”

“Affectionate?”

“Aggressive.” You winced, “your word is better. Just, I wont… I can't enjoy something you don’t want.” Your traced circles onto his skin, “I can't get my rocks off to someone’s bad time.” A smile you couldn’t see, small and warm. “I hope it’s obvious I won’t go anywhere.”

He laughed louder, offending you a little.

“Sorry, it’s just— yes that’s been made clear. I quite literally told you to stop following me and somehow here we are.” He looked over his shoulder at you and gestured for the soap. You shook your head no.

“Turn around.”

He paused.

“Not— not like that. Unless you want me to?” You would drop to your knees so fast you would damage the tub if he said yes.

“I’m good dear, thank you.”

The tub was safe.

You took your time, covering his chest in suds, his arms, his sides. You did get on your knees after all to wash his feet, his calves, his thighs. You stopped short of going any higher.

He looked down right bashful. It was so cute you wanted to shove your face into his crotch and scream. 

Alastor wasn’t used to people handling him. Not outside of uncomfortable situations. The order of events typically went as follows:

Date makes a move. Alastor politely redirects. Date gets annoyed because it’s not the first time he’s done this. Alastor offers other ways to please them, be it his hands or his mouth. They either get sad (‘You think I’m repulsive, don’t you?!’) or angry (‘What kind of man are you?’). 

If he didn’t find them worth the effort, he would simply end the date then and there. But if he liked them enough, enjoyed their company enough, needed them for some purpose enough, he would acquiesce. They would touch him, and he would react like the touch-me-not plant he used to harass as a child, moving without thought from the stimulation. And he’d think about more engaging things until he got them to  finish or he could say he did. 

And it would buy a little more time with good enough affection and good enough company and good enough reasons. 

Good enough. ‘Enough’ was right there in the phrase. 

And then it would repeat until someone gave up.

When he didn’t move or reply as your hands sat where his thighs met his hips, lost in some train of thought, you left it be and stood. Lathering your hands, “One spot left!”

He suddenly looked so tired, eyebrows rising as if to ask you ‘what’s that?’ yet the dullness of his eyes indicated he wasn’t actually asking. 

But like a fall from a mildly scary height into the sea, thrilling but safe, he tensed as your hands moved. When you began to wash his face, he hit the water feet first.  His shoulders noticeably relaxed, and you thought you saw his chin shake a little, but you let it go to rub circles on his cheeks. You got behind his ears and under his chin. You tried to make a mustache but the soap didn’t lather well enough for that.

“You’re not missing out. I don't look good in facial hair.” He said, and you believed it. 

You handed him the soap and let him finish cleaning himself, trying to steal looks without being too obvious. Making a mental note to yourself for every piece of him to compliment later when he was more comfortable.

It tickled when he washed you, those soft fingers making bubbles across your skin. The steam was dampening his hair. Ah, you just noticed he wasn’t wearing glasses.

“Can you see? Without the glasses?” He was down now, cleaning your already clean legs.

“Ah, well, no.”

You held up 7 fingers.

He squinted then made his eyes wide, “Hmm…. Two hands.” You pushed him down with your foot to his chest, him catching himself with his arm. “At least I didn’t say three, dear.” 

You play kicked, “Unfunny!”

When he laughed now he looked boyish. His laughter bright as a bell. It was so jarring that it made your subconscious remind you of the dead man lying in the other room. The juxtaposition impossible to ignore.

Alastor noticed the shift in the air, getting up and setting the soap down on the lip of the tub. His hands rubbed your cheeks, your chin, your nose.

“You can leave after you’re all cleaned and dressed.” He was looking at your nose as he spoke.

“I can do anything I damn well want.” Your eyes skirted around his face before making him meet your gaze, “Atleast to the car. Okay?” Suddenly insecure about how aggressive you were, “Please.” 

Alastor nodded, could he see your smile? You could see his.

It was unspoken, and somehow equally shocking as the night you grabbed a dead man by the legs, that you dressed each other. Domestic was the only word for it and it was downright frightening for you.

But your body didn’t stop, some magnets in your fingertips drawn to the buttons of his shirt, to the collar you adjusted, to his glasses that you rested on the bridge of his nose.

Alastor hadn’t any idea what he was doing, perhaps his mother had told him to do this and he had long forgotten it. Maybe he saw it in a movie. Or read it in a book. But gingerly, as you sat on a side of the bed away from Tommy, he knelt and rolled up your stockings, watching as you clipped them to the garter belt. He slipped on your shoes and took your hand to help you stand. As you put on your dress his hands took the buttons at the bottom and yours took the top, meeting in the center. His newly clean fingers straightened out the wrinkles.

He avoided looking you in the eyes, something heavy in the space between you two telling him the air might catch fire if he did. He didn’t know what that meant, and he had done enough new things for one evening. 

“Can I ask you something?” He took the twine that tied the clothes together and began looping it through eyelets in the canvas.

“Of course.” He could ask you anything, if you answered was still up in the air.

“Why did you work for a man like that?” Continuing to avoid your face, he busied himself with drawing the sides and corners of the canvas up like a giant sachet.

A good question. One you would think he’d have asked before the murder. “He wasn’t like that before. This whole… thing was a recent shift. I know it was gambling but I think he was getting into some hard drugs too. His behavior had just gotten erratic.”

He tied the twine tightly, “It seemed impulse control was an issue for him, given his brief conversation with me. This-,” he pointed at you, suddenly full of passion again, “This is what I meant. I don’t talk to men for long. What a terrible conversation that was.” You fought back a smile. “Was he bragging? You wouldn’t believe the number of men— well I suppose yes you would.” He pushed up his sleeves and held them in place with arm bands, “If that is the typical sexual tendencies of men then I’m glad to see I evolved past it.” Alastor was spewing a stream of consciousness that even you could tell was out of character. 

Or perhaps, “I have a feeling you’d be saying all this if I were here or not.” You stared down at the canvas bundle.

That smile again, “Normally it’s under my breath but— they don’t seem to mind!” He gave the bundle a tug, checking for the sturdiness of the twine.“So, usually I do this closer to the car…” 

It was unladylike and you loved it, legs open wide as you lifted your half of the bloody package. You lumbered down the tight stairwell as he went backwards, insisting it was the gentlemanly thing to do. There was a moment you were alone at the bottom of the stairs as Alastor brought the car around. You gave the body a little kick, “Why’d you have to go and be such an ass?” Mumbled under your breath like a professional.

As you both stood there, trunk full of Tommy between you, you were unaware of what little wildfires you’d set off in the other.

Alastor felt his stomach flipping, an impulse to grab your face with both hands and kiss you making his fingers tap the roof of the car. He was worried if he did, he wouldn’t be able to stop. An issue he had never had before, but it still felt like an issue nonetheless. It was, wasn’t it? An issue?

Something in you felt like the good wife in the doorway, waving your darling off to work in the morning. Wanting to plant a kiss on his cheek and straighten his bow tie. If you’d seen a neighbor do it you’d roll your eyes and fake a gag, but you wanted to give it to him. You wanted to give him consistent adoration he could rely on and that was the only example you could think of. A nervous hand considered clawing the feeling out of your chest entirely.

You both decided to play it cool,  Alastor dialling back the urge and planting a single kiss to your nose. You hummed, “If anyone asks…”

“You saw Tommy take the cash and leave.” Alastor said quickly, so confident you could believe maybe you had.

You nodded. Biting your bottom lip you stopped the urge to offer more help. Trust needed to exist that he’d ask for it if he wanted to. 

Maybe your face was losing its skill, mask dissolving under the events of the night, because a grin spread across his face, “Baby steps.”

Always scared of letting him slip through your fingers, you tried to hide how badly you needed another date to look forward to. Pursing your lips, “Speaking of, we’ve checked off public acts of indecency, a dance hall romp, and now some gentle sex near a formerly living man. Would you like to get coffee this week?”

“In the daytime?” False incredulity

“Fully clothed.” You added.

If he hadn’t stifled his laughter, it could have been dangerous, “Scandalous.” A small panic, he hadn’t actually agreed yet. An unfamiliar feeling of insecurity came down on you like a mistimed curtain fall. 

“I’ll need a few days…Saturday, at ten, the little cafe at the west entrance of our favorite park?”

Our. Your knees buckled a little. 

“Sounds positively deviant. I’ll be there with bells on.” Why was your heart pounding now. Why now?

“It’s a date then.” A kiss to your cheek, he tensed, holding back. “Can I drive you home?,” it was spoken into your skin. His lips not leaving your face. 

“I have to go back in. Tell everyone how much of an ass Tommy is for leaving me all alone with that wealthy bore.” Your cheek leaned into his kiss. His lips dragged across your skin to find your mouth, still open.

He exhaled, shakey and slow. Your eyes saw something new; dilated pupils staring down at you. A heat was pooling in your lap again, never so receptive to a pair of eyes before.

“Should I come back?” He knew he shouldn’t.

Luckily so did you. “You know I’m not far from here. Just get home, or wherever you're going, safely.” He finally let his mouth capture yours, his hands roaming the soft fabric of your dress. Red, smooth, warm. You broke away, pulling from some well of strength you didn’t know you had, “If the girls see— there’s no motive quite like a jealous man.”

That grin erupted, beaming a toothy smile that warmed you to your core, “Endlessly fascinating.” His fingers lingered on you until they were pulled away by the limits of his reach, him backing up to the car door, “Be safe. Good night.”

Your legs crossed one in front of the other, had a man ever considered your safety enough to say it out loud? Without adding some patronizing addition like “little lady” or “pretty thing” to it that felt more like an admission of intent? “Good night.”

Alastor rode home in silence, sometimes so lost in thought he would snap back to reality and realize he had no idea how long he had been driving. It would take a second but he would confirm he was still on the right path. 

It was too soon to bring you to his home. He knew that was a logical statement. However, every other part of him wanted to carry you over his shoulder into his house and show you around, excited to hear your responses to the details of his safe harbor. He could cook for you. You two could push the sofa back and dance in the sitting room. The back porch was lovely for early morning reading.

An incorporeal pain tore through his stomach. 

Hands gripping the steering wheel, bright eyes popping up from the tall grass as he rumbled past. 

He was getting ahead of himself again. All of the idioms he was taught were going up in flames. 

‘Don’t put the cart before the horse.’

Unfortunately he had guilded the cart as well, so weighted with the gold of his hopes he was worried the axis would snap.

‘Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.’ 

He had saddled you with an entire coop of his joy. Unfair and unwise.

‘Pearls before swine’

He was, like many men, reduced to a greedy mouthed animal at your feet, incapable of appreciating your attention as it should be. But he didn’t want you to stop. Perhaps a pig could learn?

So much for evolved. 

As he pulled into the dirt driveway of what was his father’s home, then his mother’s home, now his own, he wondered what your first thoughts would be. Would you like it? Were you expecting something grander? Something shiny and new? 

When he was backed up to the greenhouse he rested his head against the steering wheel. 

The smell of the soap was heating up with his thoughts, remembering your hands. You smelled the same now tonight, the same soap. What an intimate thing to share. Could he ever hope to share such things with someone, or was it foolish to spend time thinking about it? 

Alastor would give nearly anything to share a set of plates with someone gentle, to have a set of hand towels in the bathroom for himself and someone patient, to warm two mugs in the morning with coffee for himself and someone understanding.

A secret little dream he threw away shortly after entering adulthood. Which was fine for him. If having those niceties meant having to fake that a part of himself mattered more than it did, he didn’t want them. Not that much. He was already putting on a show outside, he couldn’t bring the audience into his home. His mother’s home. 

As he grappled with Tommy’s impromptu shroud, he considered his outward image. 

He was proud of it. He chose to have it, it was a tool that got him far in life and elevated his status. No qualms. Just, when you expect to do something all of your life alone, it’s foundation shaking to learn perhaps you didn’t have to.

He had convinced himself he preferred to be alone. But now it seemed maybe he had been lying to himself. At some point he confused accepting a situation with preferring it. 

He stared down at Tommy’s pale face, clothes dirty and body stiffening on the metal work station of the greenhouse. He probably would never have learned about Tommy if not for you. No rumors or whispers or warnings about a theater manager abusing the artists in his employ were floating around.

Again, he felt his chest tightening. It didn’t matter if he had had the man already in his sights or not. He would have killed him. Alastor ran his hands through his hair. Would you have stopped him, would he have let you, if you swore Tommy didn’t deserve to die?

No. A silly rhetorical. Had you begged on your knees with tear stained eyes he’d have kissed your cheeks and said whatever you asked to hear. And then he would wait for Tommy to be alone in a dark place like he did the others. And he would avoid looking you in the eye for as long as he had to, until you forgot about the former employer.

With a single and soft clap of his hands he shut his mind off and went about his work. Now wasn't the time for questions and what-ifs. He needed to make Tommy disappear as soon as possible. He didn’t usually kill so close together in time. A brief thought slipped through the cracks of his walls, This would be easier with help. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

No one noticed Tommy was missing until the following night. But given he’d gotten a considerable payday Monday the staff just assumed he was off snorting his profits. 

It wasn’t until Wednesday morning did police come by, Tommy’s mother having called in a missing person’s report.

You heard the girls speaking to the detective outside the dressing room before rehearsals. 

“This is typical Tommy.”

“He’s been dabbling into some heavy stuff.”

“You didn’t hear it from me, but! I heard he got,” you couldn’t see what she was doing, “ya know?”

When the detective looked into the dressing room and asked who he hadn’t spoken with, your eyes met in the mirror, recognition painting his face. 

“Detective Brady! The assistant manager can talk now.” Someone called from down the hall. You continued covering your bruises, hoping he hadn’t noticed them. With a pat to the door frame, metal ring clinking, he left.

He didn’t have time to speak with all of you before it was doors open and left before the show began. As soon as you got home you fished around in your key bowl for the crinkled card.

You dropped it back in, hands coming to your face. Of course. Why would it be any other man?

Deep breathes. It isn’t strange he ran into you before, you worked and lived in the area. He probably handed that card to every woman he passed at night. 

Slow breathes. The girls did the legwork, just follow suit. You were a single woman. No one would suspect you of anything unless they found a smoking gun under your pillow. Even then, if you could bat your eyelashes enough and find a  dainty enough cross necklace you could beat any rap. 

All you wanted now was to see Alastor and tell him. Three more days.

Surprisingly, the theater ran perfectly smoothly without Tommy. James, the assistant, stepped up and everything carried on as usual. The detective didn’t come back, either. Rumor in the dressing room was that Tommy had been an open-and-close case of bad decisions leading to bad outcomes.

There was a sadness at the theater regardless, no one having heard any news. He had wandered off before but he always returned in time for the big weekend shows. But Friday night came and went and Tommy never showed. Which for you was expected, but the other staff seemed worried. The girls, not so much. 

You weren’t as scared as you had thought you’d be. For yourself, atleast. You would rather die than let Alastor be found out because of you. Maybe he would have advice to ease you. Even if he didn’t, you’d be comforted getting him up to speed.

Knowing you’d see Alastor soon was like knowing when the next big rain was coming. You spent all week planning your time around it. 

Except for the small detail that you hadn’t actually known where the west entrance was to the park, or even that the gates had names. But you found it easily enough. As you approached you could see him waiting, a blue suit without the jacket, was there a color he wouldn’t look charming in? 

No. Silly questions seemed to be in the air lately.

You slowed as you approached, him hearing the click of your shoes and turning before you could gather your thoughts. This was the first time to see him in the daylight. 

His mouth was moving but you didn’t hear anything, brain short circuiting. His hair looked so much brighter in the sunlight, sun passing through brown locks. You could see his eyes looking at you, brows rising as he questioned something, but your thoughts were arrested by the color of the gaze you’d spent weeks trying to get into the focus of; a bright honey brown that seemed to shimmer. A little pop of light bounced off a button of his vest, his smile gleamed as he leaned towards you.

Run. You had no business here. A possibly soon-to-be criminalized dancer and him. You should have worn a better dress. Should have gotten your hair done. Should have better.

Alastor couldn’t figure out what your face was saying. He was proficient in reading the expressions of others, in discerning the changes in the air of any given room, but this… he couldn’t place. Your eyes were wide, smile taut and flat as you took a step backward. His hand reached out to stabilize you, your heel catching on the uneven pavement of the lesser cared for wards of the city.

“What’s wrong?” His smile softened. 

You spoke without thinking, something you never did, “You’re too beautiful. I should go.” Your attempt to turn away only half in jest. His bright laugh rang out, melting the muscles of your legs. 

“That’s a new one.” His fingers lingered on your arm, “You can pick a seat, I’ll grab coffee. No staff on the patio.”

Considering fleeing still, you thought about how sad he would be standing there with two coffees in his hands. The weather was quickly cooling, but in the early sun the outdoor seating was perfect for a coffee date. 

Shaking off the nerves, you tried to get a fucking grip. You adored your physical form, you had no issues thinking you deserved whatever you wanted to have. But, well, it was like he was glowing from the inside out. Even his skin seemed to catch the light. There was that quick heart beat again. You looked through the glass front, Alastor in line. If you had gone through with the plan to rob him, and had he returned in the daylight to argue with you… you’d have just handed back his wallet and maybe even your own. 

The least attractive thing about him was his money, strange considering it was normally the most important thing a man had in his pocket for you. 

Did he know? That you had been-

“Autumn, was it?”

You heard something in your neck pop as your head spun toward the voice. The color left your face, you stood so quickly you almost knocked the chair over.

“Detective! What a blessing!” Your hands were trembling as you reached out for one of his with both of yours, “You’ve been on my mind lately.”

The detective, tall and lean, eyes a striking cool blue and hair the color of wheat, removed his hat. “Oh?”

“Yes. I never got a chance to thank you for saving me last week. That man was just not taking no for an answer.” You took several steps to the left, making his back turn towards the cafe doors. 

“I thought maybe you’d been cross with me. You ran off like-.”

“I was just nervous. I didn’t know if you were for real or just another trickster trying to get a lady alone.” You stared at his eyes, trying to keep him focused on you. 

“Ah, well, you had good reason to be. Lucky coincidence seeing you here.” He set his hat under his arm, “I was just headed to your manager’s mother’s home.”

Your eyes flitted to the counter, back to Brady. “Oh? Is…is it bad news, sir?” 

“Not a trace of the man. But, that isn’t uncommon down here I suppose.” The detective sat down at the table you’d been at….you stayed standing. He motioned for you to take a seat, “That being said, I don’t think Tommy just wandered off with some cash.”

Were you wearing your perspiration pads under your dress? You think you were. If not, maybe you could just spill water on yourself and say it was a stain. Stiff, you took a seat. 

“I was hoping to interview the rest of you ladies. I was going to stop by tomorrow but, if you have a moment, what can you tell me about him?” His eyes looked like ice, their effect similar as a chill ran down your spine. 

“Well, oh geez… I don’t want to speak ill of anyone, ever.” Your hard learned skills were coming back to you. Your hands came together to shyly fidget with each other. 

“Consider it a help to the police, no worries ma’am.”

“Miss.” You corrected, that practiced smile small and chaste, “I’m not married, sir. As you can imagine, in my profession, it is very hard to come by good, honest men.”

A chuckle, he put his hat down on the table. Fuck. Fuck! 

“But, uh, yes. I can tell you quite a bit. Tommy was a fine man. For awhile. He was very respectful to us. A clean and tight ship.” You saw the door open behind him, Alastor using his back as his hands were full. “But, the last three months or so, he started getting mean.” You leaned forward, putting your left hand on Brady’s that rested on his hat. Your right hand slipped to the side and under the table, waving frantically to Alastor to turn back around.

Without question he swiveled on his heels, sitting down at another empty table near the cafe doors with his back to you.

You gripped his hand and the hat with one motion, and set it back on his head, “If he saw me talking to a flat foot…it could be a lot of trouble. Maybe we should speak privately.”

Why were you incapable of finding a balance between honey and venom? Your words came out too sweet, voice dipping into the tone you reserved for marks.

“Ah, well…Miss Autumn-,” Brady shifted in his seat.

You stood up, slapping his shoulder, “I meant the theater! Sir!”

He flustered, shaking his head and standing too, “I didn’t say anything!” His nervous laughter eased you, walking further from the table so he would follow. “Well, I’ll be by tomorrow. Maybe we can finish this conversation.“

A nod, not at all intending to tell him you didn’t work Sundays, “That sounds good. Anything I can do to help. But really, I expect Tommy will show up as soon as the cash runs dry.”

With a tip of the hat, he walked off to bring bad news somewhere else. 

You waited a moment before moving to the seat across Alastor. You thought your bones had turned to jelly, “Thanks for the rerouting. Was I obviously rattled?” You were mortified.

“No, not at all!” Alastor set the cup in front of you. “A former beau?”

You shook your head, “Worse. Detective Brady back there came by the theater this week, but didn’t have time to speak to me. Just so happened to see me now on his way to Tommy’s mom. Actually, that was something I wanted to tell you. I’ve met him before.”

His brows rose, blowing slightly on the coffee, “Oh? A patron of your theater?”

“No. That night with Legs. He stopped me a quite a few blocks before I found you. Gave me his card and a warning about missing people and something about little ladies being out at night.”

Alastor nodded, unphazed.

“Should I be worried? Because I’m worried.” You couldn’t even touch your drink, stomach in knots. He smiled, breaking the spell Brady had cast over you.

“Without a body there is no proof anyone is dead. That’s all that matters.” Alastor was cocky, leaning back in his chair with a far too relaxed demeanor.

You hadn’t realized your shoulders were so tight, “Sorry for shooing you away. I just got so scared! If he knows I,” You caught yourself, face going red as you corrected, “thought I had a guy, it could put you under a spotlight.”

His hand came over and gently rubbed your open palm with his thumb, “You’re right. That was smart, thank you.” Alastor smiled brighter, “Now! Let’s put that behind us. I don’t have a terribly long time. There’s a couple things to discuss. Most importantly,” he leaned over the table, face serious, “You think I’m beautiful?”

You kicked at his shin under the table, “My heart nearly stopped! I thought it was something important! Unfunny!”

A snicker, “Cruel?”

You nodded, “Very!”

It was by most people standards a normal date. It only strayed from mundane when Alastor walked you home and asked if you had any nightmares about Tommy. 

When you told him you hadn’t slept that well in weeks, and thanked him softly for his affection as you felt that had something to do with it, he hummed happily. He offered you his home phone number, you gesturing to the phone box at the corner in return. 

The nights were busy, so you often spoke in the mornings before his work. You’d made somewhat of a schedule, waiting in the booth around when you knew he was up and settling with coffee. He’d call, you’d ramble about your evening and what wild thing happened. Luckily the detective never returned after his Sunday visit so your stories were just fun and lighthearted. His laughter sounded so good over the staticy phone line. He would tell you about his work, about the bands he had the pleasure of hearing. New Orleans was the undisputed mother of jazz, and it showed in the fervor of his audience. It wasn’t uncommon he was busy keeping up with demand for more big and new sounds. 

While you enjoyed every opportunity to see him, be it coffee at a different cafe than the first or a walk around forested areas you knew were of use to him, the calls were nice. It allowed you to enjoy him without worrying about putting any undue pressure on him. You could twirl your phone cord and bite your lip without concern.

But finally, the moment you’d been waiting for. You called Alastor and he sounded tense, like he hadn’t slept. With a simple “What’s wrong?”, he asked if you’d want to help him with work.

The first one was almost too easy. Alastor had you wait at a bar where a man he clued you in on frequented. A staff member of his station had missed work for several days, supposedly sick. Alastor got the real story from eavesdropping on the ladies at lunch. The man, Mr. A. Wellington, was next. After watching and waiting, Alastor knew the man’s patterns well enough. Including you was a risk, but he had been fighting the urge to ask you for so long now. This one seemed it would be cut and dry. 

All it took was a smirk, a well placed hand, a laugh. The man practically pushed you down the back stairs of the bar and out through the doors that led to the service street. So engrossed in ignoring your suggestion of slowing down, he didn’t hear or see Alastor standing feet beside you both. 

The look of betrayal on the man’s face as his eyes flew from Alastor back to you increased Alastor’s high was three fold. He asked the man, already too gone to reply, if he remembered his staffer. “You should. She’ll always remember you.” 

You leaned against the door that led back to the hotel bar. Your eyes and ears were open for any unwanted company, any possible danger. Other than your own little madman. Alastor took this one personally, you could tell by how much messier he was than the first two.

While he didn’t explicitly state his code of ethics for selecting “victims”, you had picked up on the pattern. A man who assaulted a young woman, a wife beater, a violent segregationist. 

Was he really doing bad things? You found it hard to pity any of them.

Once the messy part was done you’d help get the man, as it always had been so far, into the trunk. You’d share a few kisses and clean the scene before being driven home, where you’d share a few more. Your favorite part, by far.  And after you waved, he’d drive off to wherever he went with the dead men. 

But one night was atypical. One night was downright horrible.

You lured a man into a large park beside the water. A part of you almost felt bad, as he sweetly held your hand. He had been a perfect gentleman, you seducing him at a dance hall. Alastor had warned you he was dangerous, but you wondered for a second if he was Dangerous or dangerous. Like Alastor-dangerous.

You found your answer when the man smiled down at you, telling you how beautiful you looked in the starlight, how you’d stay so beautiful forever, and wrapped his hands around your neck. Capital “D” Dangerous. 

The man was knocked off balance by Alastor tackling him from the side. You all three fell into the dirt and grass. The wind was forced out of you from the impact, your hands failing to get traction as you tried to sit up. The ground was slick with mud from recent rains flooding the rivers. Hurricane season was already in full swing.

The man wasn’t huge, but he was larger than Alastor. You watched the men struggle, slippery ground complicating Alastor’s attempts to stay upright as he straddled the man, and he couldn’t get leverage enough to bring down the knife. Horrified, you sat on your legs feeling helpless as the man lifted himself and Alastor off the ground entirely and tossed him onto his back. A small cry, Alastor rolled away revealing a rock where his back had landed.

The man only needed one of his large hands to wrap around Alastor’s throat but he used two for the fun of it. Your shoes slipped off as you struggled to get to your feet like a baby deer newly introduced to the world. Everything was wet and spinning, your lungs were burning. 

Alastor didn’t feel scared as his vision went black, just annoyed he had fucked up.

Even that feeling washed away as a grayness flooded into his consciousness. Everything lost color, flavor, texture. All urgency inked out. 

Before everything slipped away, before he slipped under, he thought he heard his mother calling his name.

He thought he heard you scream. 

Part 5 is halfway done 👌

༻Masterlist༺

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @wettiny-in-smutland , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuffn, @rubyninja1 , @simphornies , @alleystore , @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @ive-no-idea-what-to-call-this , @fizzled-phoenix , @fjorjestertealeaf , @phobophobular , @surusurusuru , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo , @simplyonehellofanotaku , @xixflower , @i-am-nonbinary-bean-deal-with-it , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 , @watereddownmilk , @raynerrold , @crazii-saber-wolf , @valkyrie-expeditions , @bontensbabygirl , @sillyb0nez , @oo0lady-mad0oo , @jazzmasternot , @pseudobun , @fraugwinska✨, @alitaar , @straows , @alastorssimp , @angelicwillows , @b-o-n-e-daddy , @one-and-only-tay , @asleeponelmstreet , @tremendoushearttaco , @mutifandomkid , @sapphirecaelis , @itzzzkiramylove  @saccharine-nectarine

@looking1016 , @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer , @blakeaha

🏹Alastor stalkers: @celestial-vomit , @amurtan

@faeoffaith ,