#but the pink is SO ugly and the red hurts

[scummy-writes]

On an entirely different note

Steeples hands

How the hell do you make your posts have pretty font colors instead of the eyesores tumblr provides.

[carcarrot]

new shoes btw. again

[hwan-g]

( 𝑻𝑬𝑬𝑻𝑯 ) ୧ ⠁

ೀㅤ۪ pairing. biker/drug dealer! chris x fem! reader : genre. age gap, dark romance, angst, smut : warnings. read at your own risk — mdni ! use of pet names, smoking, explicit sexual content, possessiveness, obsession, severe anger issues, violence, flawed characters that make mistakes : word count. 10.1k

ೀㅤ۪ synopsis. he was born with a gun in his hand, a ticking time bomb in his head. it’s been counting down since, the brain has festered into a landmine, a battlefield. no. peace is a foreign word. reserved only for you.

PROLOGUE.

You cannot begin telling this story if you don’t first punch your own mouth. His gun, safety off, shiny and awful in the dead of night, the barrel of it pointing at your temple, a patient irony. It’s three in the morning and the red bleeding is sweet, oh so sweet.

There’s no love without violence, sweetheart, and did you know? He loves you so much, he’ll kill you. He loves you so much, you’re calling for help. Of course, it cannot be your voice, and if he gives you another chance, you’ll say everything differently this time around like—this bed is where he fucked me slow and rough, I think he was trying to bury some part of himself in me, and here, you see, the sheets smell just like his cigarettes, and this, here, is where he brushed my hair, just like this, so careful, but never mind the cracks in the mirror, the shattering is always the same, it has nothing to do with me, everything to do with him.

You hear his voice in your head all the time, haunting, your dutiful ghost; he’s there when you sleep, he’s there when you wake up, a nightmare concealed as a daydream, and you want him to do his worst, you want it to hurt, to scar, to be a permanent mark, because it’d mean you’d loved him; that love has been here and it was ugly and terrifying, and you survived it, even if you could never survive him.

Upstairs, the bed is unmade, stained with wine and your climax. Chris is gentle in all the ways he is not, which is to say he kisses you with teeth, he holds you with fists. You saw him on a black motorcycle once, an impressionable girl in a dark place, lost, searching for purpose, and he looked like a knight in shining armor, he looked like hell and heaven combined, a savior and captor, and you’d wished to crawl inside, to make a home out of him. You’d smiled and waited, you've always waited, you always will.

When he came, he was so cruel, he burned brighter than fire—you believed in him; after all, how can a man be so consumed by flame and not put his own hands around his neck, not succumb to his charcoal painted flesh? You were a fool, and he saw it, and you paid the price for it. He wants to keep you forever now, he’s never going to let you go, do you understand that? Why, why, why did you go ahead and do that?

For what? A scrap of metal heart and a ribcage, bone and muscle?

What about your own heart?

What about the eternal winter residing when he's not there?

ACT ONE: before.

He smiles and the world expands. His face blooms into a thousand different shades; the pink of his mouth curving, the red of his cheeks rounding, the dark of his brow straightening. A stop motion picture, the beginning of autumn, the turn of the leaves, the crisp air replacing warm winds.

His fingers weave through yours, interlocking, thumb running down index, mouth a breath over yours, so close he could graze your lips if he wanted to. You look between you, noses touching, then back to brown so deep you imagine raw honey gliding, real amber in the face of the sun.

Chris. You whisper his name in your head. It sounds like a secret. Your best kept one. Chris, Chris, Chris . . .

There’s blood on his shirt underneath the leather jacket. There’s a loaded gun on his belt strap, a knife tucked in his boot, a razor engraved on the ring he wears, and he’s not so careful with it, and you don’t think you want him to be. You assume it’s normal to want this—if his blood mixes with yours, well, isn’t that enough to take you with him? Isn’t that almost a wedding ceremony, isn’t that almost a declaration of war?

Do you think I’m crazy, you think to yourself. Do you think I’m crazy, would you want me if I am, would you want me, do you want me? You don’t dare say it out loud, but he’s staring at you as if he could eat your face raw—a demon, a demon—and shove the rest of you in the deep freezer, so you decide to bite him instead. You get on your tippy toes and nuzzle into his neck, biting the soft flesh underneath his earlobe.

He doesn’t exclaim, not a hiss, not a gasp, not even the slightest of inhales. He withstands the pain you inflict him, and you feel his desire digging into the inside of your thigh. His arms reach out around you, pulling you to him in that all-encompassing way, and you’re left to witness what can only be the slow consumption of your beating heart. His bike groans under the sudden weight, but he’s got you. You don’t think, then, of what that entails.

“(Y/N).”

The night sky comes into focus, all dark indigo, starless, and the streetlights flicker bright, sounding the late hour. The light never seems to go anywhere near you two, it refuses, it hesitates, and back then you found it all so mysterious and exciting, ignoring the warning bells, swallowing down the instinct of danger, danger, danger.

“Yes?”

Your eyes fall shut at having his rough palm grabbing hold of your face, thumb tilting your head upwards to meet his sizzling gaze. You hold onto his wrist for support, your body floating, mourning the loss of his body heat against the biting cold. He notices this, and moves to shrug off his huge jacket, wearing it over your shoulders in one swift move.

“What will I do with you?” It’s a plea. A threat. Both.

Chris looks down at you, and the earth shakes to its core. He looks down at you, and you don’t want to be alone anymore. You want this, this, this, every day, all the time, forever. You wish to wake up in bed next to him and know he’s yours, wake up and not wish for some other dream so you can find him again. To be awake and want to be awake.

His big hands caress your face, sink into your hair. He stares at you intently, as if he’s holding back from saying whatever’s turning over and over in his head. It can switch so fast, that look, faster than you can blink, a clipped temper, a quick anger. 

You’ve only seen it once, and you’d been quickly turned away. He’s got people watching everywhere, he’s been haunted by darkness and shadows long before you served him that drink in The Bloody Muse. You almost forget about returning to your shift, time slipping away, responsibilities fading whenever you’re near him.

Seungmin will be missing you, Felix will be looking for his good luck charm before he goes on stage. Midnight means you return from dreamland. Still, you have a couple of minutes left. Enough to hear the gunshot, enough to panic and let out a scream and have Chris slap a hand over your mouth, willing you with his gaze to calm the fuck down.

You breathe hard, stiff with fear. He appears perfectly composed, relaxed even. It’s then you realize who he is and what he does, and how this is probably his or his club’s doing. There’s misdirected anger in you ricocheting on all corners. You want to bite his fingers, you want to demand an explanation. You work here, dammit, and he’s kept his bullets away from this place so far, for what you thought was your sake.

Chris was a handsome hypocrite, a skilled liar.

“It’s not what you think,” he says simply, removing his palm from your mouth, shaking his wrist off. “Don’t overreact.”

All of his previous warmth disappeared, instead, the cold, menacing man you know very little of and have never dealt with taking its place. You understand he has to be this way, but you hate that he has to act like this with you too. Because of your reaction. Because you couldn’t keep your cool.

Silly girl.

“What is it, then?” A naive question, so many untrue answers he could give you.

He passes a finger over the cut on your cheek. The cut he gave you. You lean into his touch, desperate for anything, hungry, starving, even. You don’t want him to leave, but he won’t stay. You hate, hate, fucking hate this part.

“Something that needed to be taken care of,” he chooses the words carefully, you can tell, and you decide that, if he wants you to stay in the dark, you will. You have to.

You love him.

“Someone,” you correct, quietly.

Chris smiles, mouth curving, and his hand moves to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. The touch is tender, affectionate. Something inside you cracks and caves, it melts. You would withstand too, you think then. You would deal with anything, put up with everything, for that single touch. For that one single look.

“Someone,” he echoes, his own voice smooth blue velvet, an overture. “You should get inside.”

A sharp pang of bitterness in your chest. “I should?” Because I questioned you?

He drops his hand, and brings his arms over his broad chest, crossing them there. Closed off and done for the night. You unconsciously take a step back, hurt from the sudden change, whiplashed and upset.

“If you don’t want to be late,” he states matter-of-factly, but he says it in this kind of open tone, a mere suggestion rather than a complete dismissal. Yes. “Don’t look at me with those damned eyes, sweetheart, what can I do against them?”

You wipe at your cheeks, and try to fix the mess, try to smooth over, to make right again. “I’m not, I’m sorry.”

“Come here.” A command. 

You go like a kicked puppy, your leash short, your loyalty unshaken, despite the scolding. He reaches out and slams you to his chest, a hand pressing the back of your head there, and you inhale him, all of him, memorizing his scent, trying to hold on to whatever parts of him you can in case he decides to never come back for you again. It’s pathetic and it’s pitiful, but this is what you know. This is all you know.

“You’re my girl, you know that?” He mumbles in your hair, his breath hot on your scalp. You lean into him, wrapping your arms around him, and almost cry yourself dry from the prospect of ever losing him. 

You’d die. You’d die, it’s entirely unthinkable. It’s the worst pain imaginable. 

“You’re my girl, baby. I’d never let anything happen to you. Do you believe me?”

You nod your head yes. He squeezes you against him tighter. You feel so safe, then, the safest you ever have. Of course you believe him. You’d believe his every word, you’d follow him into anything, blindly, willingly. You want to please him. To make him happy.

He grabs a fistful of your hair, suddenly and pulls you back to look at him. His eyes are manic, black. “I need your words, (Y/N). Do you believe me?”

“Yes. Yes,” you yelp, your mouth falling open from the sting.

In your stomach, something lights on fire. You rub your legs together, trying to relieve it. He glances down between you, curses. 

You started it. 

The descend. 

It was your fault. 

He’d never touched you so savagely before that night, he’d never shown the same need you had. That he could want you the same way you do. . .You felt so giddy you could squeal, so happy you would gladly reduce yourself to schoolgirl-and-her-stupid-little-fantasies.

“Is this fucking getting you wet?” And he pulls harder, tilting your head all the way. His tongue comes out to lick from the base of your neck all the way up to your lips. You’re on fire, you’re on fire! You moan hoarsely and try to keep your footing. “You like me being rough with you, sweetheart?”

You’re too embarrassed to respond. So, you guide his hand under your skirt. Chris curses again, more lewdly this time, nasty things, words you’ve never heard him say before. Oh, this fucking cunt, fuck me . . . So goddamn wet, baby girl, I bet it tastes so sweet. Will you let me? Will you let me have a taste right here?

“I— I have to go back, I’m—” but his fingers are already dipping into your underwear, his palm cupping your burning sex.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he growls into your ear. “You hear me?”

You jump, and look around, paranoid. He grabs your face and forces your eyes back on him. He’s got that crazed look again, the one that lets you know he’ll stop at nothing to have this. Out here, in the open. And he’ll fucking make it worth it. You succumb, too flushed, too bothered, unbecoming in his arms, as he backtracks you into the wall next to the exit door, and gets on his knees, tugging your undergarments down with both hands, hooking your leg over his shoulder.

Your fingers dig into his hair, dark eyes staring up at you. In your mercy, kneeling in front of you. Do you love me? Is this you, saying it? Is this your way of showing it? You caress the soft strands, staring back, overwhelmed. The beginning of the end for you. You’ll never escape him after this. He’d never accept it. You’d never survive it.

When his face gets lost in between your legs, you almost collapse, your entire body shaking with the forceful need to come. He licks and laps and sucks your clit into his mouth, and it’s too much, it’s fucking unbearable, it’s incredible, it’s so much, it’s everything, you want more, you want him to stop, more more more, oh my God, please, please—you’re being so loud there’s no way they haven’t heard that, that Seungmin hasn’t, he’s really only around the corner, and what about everyone else, oh God, oh God, you’re close, you’re so fucking close, if he could just—oh, fuck yes, fuck yes . . .

Chris pulls away, his lower face glistening with your juices. You whine at the loss of contact, your pussy clenching around nothing, aching. 

“Don’t fucking come,” and he’s getting up, he’s unzipping his pants, and you’re eager to help, you’re eager to reach inside and grab him, free him. “I have to get inside you, baby.” 

His cock is standing rock hard, angry. He wraps one hand around your neck, and the other slides over his length once, twice, you’re so entranced you can’t look away; he’s so big, he’s so erect, and you want him so fucking much, you’d do anything right then, you’d be anything.

He turns you around, and you barely have time to get a good grip on the wall, before he’s entering you with one long, violent thrust. You scream out, pressing your temple on the cool brick, allowing him to take whatever he needs. His fingers squeeze around your neck, tighter and tighter still, until all you see is stars, until all you feel is him slamming into you, his hot body over yours, your mixed moans of pleasure.

I could come to this image forever . . . Look at this fucking ass, you beautiful fucking girl, I never want to stop . . . fucking tear you apart, lay inside you . . . Taking cock so well, made for me, made for me, made for this . . .

His movements turned sloppy and primal, reaching the end, and you, forever following him, forever after him. He was no more than beast, pistoling into you with vigor, all animal, your sides bruised from the way he was holding onto you, but you loved it, you wished he’d never stop, exploding into a million pieces, coming apart under him in vibrant streaks of color and tears. His head dropped on your lower back, whispering there she is, there you go, sweetheart, there you are, my baby, as he gave one, two, three final thrusts, before reaching down and removing himself from your soaking cunt, flipping you around, and forcing you on your knees, his cock in his hand, on the verge of climax.

You open your mouth wide, and he shoves in, fucking into it no more than three seconds before you feel his cum hit the back of your throat, warm and salty. 

“You fucking vex me, woman. Look at the sight of you.”

You breathe through your nose slowly, as he grabs your face and makes sure you swallow, fingers rough, before pulling out at once, tucking his softening length back in his jeans, and lifting you up by the waist.

He fixes your skirt over your ass, and smoothes over the edges, making sure no indecent part of you shows. When you catch his eye, he winks at you. You bubble over like a soda can, spilling everywhere, and he chuckles low and raspy, before reaching for your hand and pulling you flush against him, trailing kisses on your shoulder, your knuckles, your cheeks, your brow.

This is the Chris that looks at you and sees you. The one you love, the one you miss the most when he’s gone. This Chris comes out only when you’re alone, when he’s forgotten what else there is, what he has to do after you go back to the club. For now, he loves you, no violence, no hunger.

You almost weep at the sight of him.

“I’ll talk to your boss,” he murmurs, pecking your lips over and over.

You giggle, and he twirls you once, your arms extending as you try to go towards the door. He pulls you back in at the last minute, handsome, glowing, smiling.

“I haven’t lied to you,” he says, and half of you doesn’t miss the solemn way in which he says it. “I won’t let anyone touch you. Ever.”

You pause for a split second, still remaining in the post bliss of your orgasm, but then you’re moving again, slipping from his grasp, heading back to your drinks and suggestive conversations.

“I wouldn’t want to be touched by anyone else, Chris,” you retort, blowing him a kiss, and disappearing through the big black door, letting it close behind you.

You don’t see the way you leave him standing there, how he closes his eyes and has to breathe through the loss of you; how he drags his feet to go pick up his jacket from the floor. How he inhales your sweet smell, and instantly wants you back, a corpse in his arms that can’t go nowhere.

The corruption began when you told him your name. It invaded his bloodstream and blackened his mind.

He’d rather kill you than have you walk away from him like that.

ACT TWO: in the midst.

Chris fucks you with the purpose of possessing you.

There’s not a minute of peace when you are with him, he envelops all senses, he erases all other thoughts, until all you know is him, his touch, his cock. Months into sharing a bedroom, and coming apart underneath him every night, he’s never once mentioned that incident, the first one.

He’s never apologized for how he treated you, never brought it up. But he’s never once treated you the same since. Now that you live together, he gets to call all the shots, know your exact whereabouts, control what you wear, what you eat, how you come, how many times—he’s fucked you in places you never thought possible. He’s fucked you in front of people, shamelessly; on the banister, in the pool, on the kitchen counter and the office. Against walls and on the hood of his car, parked in the garage, Changbin, the road captain, working on his bike not a few steps away.

No one ever said anything to you, tried anything. They didn’t have a death wish, or they respected Chris too much. His influence was a testimony to his abilities. No one questioned him, but everyone obeyed him. They treated you like one of their own, they protected you when their sergeant would leave the house.

Other things—the shitload of drugs hidden in every trinket, every crevice, places you’d never think to check, and the meticulous way they deliver said product, how the trucks come in the middle of night, motorcycles deconstructed, filled to the brim with cocaine and sent to wherever, distributed to whatever unfortunate person. Chris never touched the trucks, you never saw him near them.

That was Minho’s job.

You spent entire days in bed after the deliveries, fucking, improvising stories of hunters and angels falling in love, how the hunter is always attracted to the angel’s light, how the angel forgives the hunter for his nature, and willingly dies by his axe. Chris bathes you and washes your hair with lavender, then carries you over to the vanity and brushes the strands with such care, you think he’s always loved you, in every life. That, perhaps, he was born loving you, and that this was predetermined; inescapable, inevitable.

He doesn’t sleep. He spends hours making love to you, feeding you; he works for even longer, meetings with the president, meetings with the suppliers, mountains of paperwork that you see him burn afterwards in the fireplace downstairs. If he does close his eyes, it’s flitting, twenty minutes here, an hour there; after he comes down from the high of being buried inside you, after a shower, at night as he watches you sleep, you pretend to close your eyes and feel him get comfortable on your stomach, his lips kissing any spot of naked skin he can find. When he does drift off, you lift your head and observe a man such as Chris Bahng sleep, how he does it, so unaware and off guard, so unlike his usual self.

It’s endearing. You love him the most when you find him in those positions, so peaceful, and a part of you thinks, ashamed—at least no one is dying by his hand tonight. His soul is something you think about a lot, the wretched, poisoned thing, paying for his actions. You asked him once; what keeps him up, why is he so unable to fall asleep?

“Nightmares,” he mumbled against your neck, teasing the sensitive flesh there. “Every time I close my eyes . . . someone is waiting for me. It’s always different, but they always end up dead. Everyone I care about— you. When you’re in my dreams, I can’t stand it. I’m always the one holding the gun. You’re always falling, or— fucking . . . walking away from me. When I wake up, I always check if you’re next to me,” his hand travels to yours, interlocking your fingers. He avoids your gaze. “If you’re not, it’s . . . it gets hard to breathe. I think I’ve killed you, that I’ve finally fucking lost it and, and done it, and the walls close in around me . . . Christ, I sound fucking insane.”

It’s difficult for you to say anything after that, so you slowly make your descend at the foot of the bed, making sure to kiss every inch of him, to let him know you’re right there, that he’ll never lose you, that the day it’ll come to that you’d rather he does kill you, that he does make that decision for you, because you’d have clearly gone mad; you cannot see yourself beyond him, cannot see a future where he’s not there, even as a fixture, even as someone who’s loved you once, a very long time ago. A friend, a lover, it’s all the same, and it’s all him, and you’ll always get whatever version of him you can.

You know you sound crazy, and maybe you are, maybe you deserve each other in that way, but it’s irrelevant to this story. This is not for the faint of heart—loving someone like him does not come easy, it’s not one of those ridiculous words—fate or destiny—or anything simple like that; loving him is hard fucking work, it’s torment and agony, it’s excruciating, and it’s a choice you make every single day, because you need it to live. An addiction, perhaps, though you’ve never been an addict.

You know this is how it feels. The needle in the vein. The snow on your nose. The smoke in your lungs. The burning, the boiling. This is it. When you take his cock in your mouth, when you hear that broken gasp fall from his lips, the familiar groan, the guttural sounds from the back of his throat, and how he grabs the back of your head, forcing you down to the hilt of him; when you’re so full you might as well inhale him entirely, become part of his crotch, his most private part, the one he keeps to himself—you think this is what it’s like to wait on someone’s steps, a beggar, a desperate girl giving her heart on a silver platter for the one in the house, the one holding the reins.

Chris is kind and generous. He opens the door, he allows you to come inside. There’s light and warmth here, but there’s also shadows in the corners, there’s locked doors and no one else around. It’s a lonely house, but he’s right there, all you need, all you’ll ever need. He welcomes you with open arms.

You get lost in the labyrinth of him.

“What the fuck was I doing before you, sweetheart? Who was I, who was I without this fucking mouth, fucking hell, baby . . .”

It’s a savage act, some would call it cannibalism, but it’s only been known as love to you. Your insides are aflame, roasting a pretty crackling orange, when he finally comes on your tongue, his hips lifting, eyes shut tight, your head in his big hands, keeping you there, making sure you’re swallowing every last drop. You do. You do. You‘re licking circles around the shiny, swollen tip one moment, and he’s got you bouncing on it the next, manhandling your ass, facing you away from him, wrapping muscular arms around your waist, ravaging your back with his teeth, biting and soothing, putting out the forest fires himself, braving the danger.

A devouring hunger. Stripped to its most primal state. Everything within you is jumping. No one talks about this—screwing for the sake of the flesh. You need to come, and keep coming, and he does too. There’s no other thought, no other reason. He’d mount you if he could, knot in you for hours, pump you full of his seed. If this is the way it’s meant to be, then let it be. Let him fuck you until he’s satiated. Let him fuck you into your last dying breath.

But his words. You want those for yourself. He whispers them in your ears, his mouth everywhere, the hotness of his breath, the raspiness of his voice—just as lost as you. This is how you need him.

“This cunt is mine, fucking mine, mine . . . Say it,” he drills into you, skin slapping on skin, sweat like water, and your tears, so uncontrollable, so many— “Say it, damn you.”

“Yours,” you comply, your arm reaching out to wrap around his neck. He kisses your shoulder, he bites, he marks. “All of me. Forever.”

“Swear it. Don’t ever leave me.”

“No . . . no . . .” You moan loudly as he reaches deep inside, to spots that make you see stars.

He shoves your face in the mattress, and gets on top of you, pistoling his length into you, hard and fast, chasing after the high he craves. You cry out and take it. The pain is so intense, bleeding into pleasure, overwhelming your body. You can’t feel your own heartbeat anymore, only Chris, only his pounding.

“Such a goddamn slut. Look at you,” he slaps your ass once, “fucking look at you,” twice, three times, four. You sob into the sheets, grab onto them. He’s relentless, he’s so close, you’re so close— “Why are you crying, huh?” He pulls you by the hair hard, lifting your head. You gulp down air, you’re glutinous, deprived. “Did you need my cock that bad? Have I not fucked your needy little hole enough?”

“You have, you have, please . . .”

Let go for me, sweetheart, fuck, you feel so fucking good . . . Never get tired of this pussy, taking me so well, baby, so fucking well, come on, one more, one more, that’s it . . .

Coming felt like the gates of heaven liquifying inside you. Your orgasm tore through you so savagely, you forgot how to breathe for several moments, your limbs unresponsive and extremely sore. Only thing you could do was convulse under Chris’ massive body, and let him ride his own, his nails digging into raw flesh, voice groggy and incredibly deep after three rounds of sex.

“Did I hurt you? Did I hurt you, baby?”

You hadn’t realized you were still crying ugly, terrible sobs. You immediately missed the weight of him as he got off you at once and flipped you on your back, panic-stricken honey eyes searching your face, your chest, any part of you he might’ve harmed.

“Where does it hurt? What have I done?” He kisses your temple, your eyes, he tastes your tears. He’s so worried you almost feel guilty for not responding. “(Y/N), I need you to tell me, sweetheart, I can’t see it, I can’t—is it your—”

“I’m fine,” you pacify him, placing your hands on either side of his face. You’re still breathing abnormally fast, but so is he. The room is spinning. “You didn’t hurt me anywhere, I’m fine, Chris.”

“But if you were, you’d tell me, yeah?”

He was so handsome, so handsome when he loved you.

“I would.”

His gaze was piercing, honeycomb giving way to molasses. His hands were trailing off again, doing their own thing, what they knew best; how to please you. His thumb on your clit, rubbing soft circles, your creamy entrance making lewd sounds that had the man over you growing impossibly hard again.

“And what about this?” A warm, tingly sensation grew low in your belly. “Does this hurt?”

You trap his hand with your thighs, and he smiles. You smile back.

“Maybe a little,” you lie, stretching.

He doesn’t let up. His fingers slip inside again, his other hand moving on himself, veiny and sure. Chris masturbating to the sight of getting you off is perhaps the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. Your body is a tool he’s acquainted well with, and has made his sole expertise. So many hours on this bed, learning each other naked.

“Your cunt says something else,” he smirks, pumping his fist over his girth slowly, deliberately, growling low in the process, making you wetter, making you want, want, want. A chain of chemical reactions, you’ve become. “I wanna eat you out, (Y/N), you think you’ll be able to handle that?”

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

“I’ve been thinking about it all day,” he mumbles on your stomach, placing a kiss there, and traveling down, nose dangerously close to where you want him most. “Your face when you come apart on my tongue—I wish I could die between your legs, baby.”

“Don’t say that,” you hide your face in embarrassment, as you feel him get in position, opening your legs wide, staring shamelessly at your swollen pussy.

“I’ll say whatever the fuck I want,” he licks it once, tongue pressing flat on your clit and flicking, and you’re fucking gone. You’re writhing, trying to get away, moaning so loudly the whole house must’ve heard you. “This is mine, you’re fucking mine, and you’re so goddamn beautiful.”

He doesn’t get to work much on you, you’re coming apart in minutes. You’re so overstimulated, your legs are shaking uncontrollably, the muscles twitching. He doesn’t seem to care though, because he’s fingering all of your cream on his cock and finishing himself off, an ungodly sight, something out of a renaissance painting, the most explicit one, all well defined abs and veins popping on his neck, mouth formed into a perfect silent scream, as he pumps, and pumps and shoots on your thighs, white thick streaks, hot and sticky.

There’s a knock on the door, a throat clearing.

“Bahng,” Changbin’s voice. “It’s important.”

The room drops in the negatives. You see the abrupt change on your boyfriend’s face, his expression freezing over, his jaw clenching, moving, as he stares at the door like he wants to break it, and then beat his friend’s face in. You get on your elbows and whisper softly, “It’s okay,” to which he ignores.

“What the fuck do you want?” He calls out, furious, getting off the bed and grabbing a pair of discarded jeans from the floor.

“Meeting in ten,” his captain replies, and then there’s footsteps shuffling away.

“I need to shower, anyway,” you try to lighten the mood, reaching over the bed for your shirt. “We’ve been holed up here for hours. I don’t even know what time it is.”

“Why do you need to know?”

You don’t let his tone ruin what you’ve been building for the entire day. He was perfectly fine up until two seconds ago, it has nothing to do with you. You repeat this to yourself as you move around the room, clipping the hair away from your face, wiping the makeup from your cheeks.

“It’s really alright, Chris, you’ll only be gone for a bit.”

He ignores this as well. What he does—he takes two big strides towards you and grabs your face roughly. You meet his eyes, dark and menacing, and keep your cool. You don’t let his anger scare you, you’ve seen it all before. It has nothing to do with you, it has nothing to do with you.

“All you need to know, is I’m still in this fucking room and you smell like my cum, and there’s a lot of fucking things I can do in ten minutes,” he snarls, patting your hair down, bringing your hips together. “All you need to know is you have no use for clocks, because you’re not going anywhere. Am I fucking clear?”

You try not to let your body take over your mind, as it’s happened many times before. He knows your weak spot, he knows how good he can make it feel, and he uses it to his advantage any chance he gets. 

You will not be manipulated. You will stop falling for his words.

“You’re going to regret saying that,” you retorted, suddenly sad. “You’re only being like this because you want to stay.”

To that, he visibly calms, he mellows. “Of course I do. I never wanna be anywhere else. I wanna fuck you until you’re on the verge of passing out, and then I want to take you in the water and make it all better,” he tries to kiss you but you turn your head. There are no words to describe the hurt etched on his face, then. “You’re the only thing that matters, (Y/N). The only true thing.”

“Why do you treat me like this, Chris? Hot, then cold, again and again.”

You might’ve as well slapped him. He untangles himself from you at once, and walks over to the closet for a shirt. Your stomach drops. You definitely said something you shouldn’t have. Who knows how he’ll be now, what he might do. You might not see him for days. He knows how to hurt you and keep hurting you. One coin, two sides.

Nevertheless, you have to know. He never gives you any answers. You’ve given away so much to be here, to be with him. He walks the thin line of having something like that, a line between holding you—broken glass on his shaking palm, recklessly picking up the pieces when they fall, unafraid of the blood, of the cutting and maiming, and the repercussions afterwards.

His self destructiveness has never been more prominent before. Now it’s all you see.

“One true thing, Chris. Please.”

He looked so severe, the set of his jaw, the glint in his eye. When he punches the closet door closed and smashes the mirror with his fist, you don’t think he’s quite there in the room with you anymore. He’s in that faraway place again, in that hole, so hard to find.

Of course, the blood. The blood is always there. It’s been there from the start.

He motions for you not to move, his hair a mess sticking in all directions. Such violence and it’s all within him, there’s nothing you can do to pull it out of him. Only when it lashes out, only when he becomes the weapon.

“Don’t fucking come near me,” he barks, and you stop, you remain perfectly still, your gaze locked to his knuckles, bleeding profusely, staining the carpet. “I will never hurt you,” he rasps, and there’s iron will behind his words. “I will never fucking hurt you, I’d sooner die. I’d sooner fucking die . . .” His eyes fall closed, his breathing deepens, and you’re pretty sure you only have a few seconds before this all goes to shit.

You grab your clothes, and shoes, and where’s your phone, where’s your stupid phone—

“Get out of here. Get out of here now.”

You bite your lip until you taste copper. You won’t cry. You won’t fucking cry. This is not your fight. This is not your problem.

“I love you,” you squeeze out, before you throw the door open and spill down the stairs, the beast bellowing behind you, “GET THE FUCK OUT, GET THE FUCK OUT.”

“What the hell’s going on?” Changbin puts his hands out, grabs your shoulders. 

Felix doesn’t even have to look at you; he curses, and climbs the stairs three at a time, calling for backup. The demolition has already begun.

You won’t cry. You refuse, you refuse, you refuse.

There’s no love without violence, sweetheart, and did you know?

ACT THREE: intermission.

In a fight, he’s devastating.

You’d told him time and time again, none of it meant anything, not a thing, just some mindless flirting to get better tips, it was part of your job, it was silly, little, nothing, nothing at all. You’d warned him against coming inside the Muse. It’d only cause trouble.

He would only cause trouble. It’s why he had Minho permanently positioned in there, it’s how the club was under Strays payroll, it was his excuse for visiting that night.

Making sure the product was being distributed properly. Keeping an eye out. Bullshit. You were so mad at him. He never showed up for these things, they went through other people. Chris was too important for it. And yet, here he was, disrupting your workflow, beating your regulars into a pulp.

You didn’t recognize anything from the man he was the last time you saw him. He had none of the tenderness, none of the ember in his gaze, no softness; only sharp, obliterating cruelty and the gun on his strap. His fists were bloody, his anger palpable.

Your tables had emptied out, unpaid. You were so angry.

“Try it, motherfucker,” your boyfriend smashed the poor guy’s head against the hardwood floor, repeatedly, in succession, until your voice was scratched raw from shouting for someone to stop him. “Try getting near her again, let me see you. Walk a straight fucking line to my girl, see if you get to live another goddamn day.”

“I didn’t know she was your girl, man! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” The man had been reduced to tears, his face so beat up you could barely make out his features under all the blood.

Minho stood in one corner, observing passively, while Seungmin tried to keep his friend back, ever the security guard. Chris was gone, though. There was no way to bring him back. There’d be a death tonight, and all of you would have to pretend it never happened. You think about that. About the first time you lied for him. For them.

“Bet you wanted to fuck her, hm?” He pulls his head up, only to bring him to his knee, kicking his nose broken, and throwing him back on the floor, chairs wobbling and falling over in the storm of him. “That’s what you’ve been coming for, isn’t it, you sick fuck?”

The whimpering is what did it for you. “I didn’t know. Please! Please!” You couldn’t just stand aside; you couldn’t let this go on.

The stage was empty, the band long finished with their set, now sitting at the counter over at the bar, glancing curiously your way. It was infuriating how none of them wanted to get involved. It was too late for this. Too fucking late, and you were tired.

So, you walked over to where Chris was stomping on the man’s ribs, making sure you were in his line of vision. When you got as close as you could, you called out his name. Nothing. You tried again.

“Chris. Chris.”

“I’ll fucking kill him, baby, he’ll never look at you twice, he won’t be able to, I swear it to you.” In what dark, dark place have you crawled into, my love? How do I get there?

You try to keep your voice steady, reasonable. From the corner of your eye, you see Seungmin shaking his head at you, motioning you to step back, away, out from the line of fire. 

“I don’t want that, Chris. I want you to let him go.”

“What?”

“And then I want you to go home.”

In retrospect, you should’ve heeded the bouncer’s advice. This version of Chris does not belong to you, it has nothing to do with feeling or logical thought. It festered in some terror-stricken hole he’d found as a child, and grew into a large open wound, the heart tree of all inhumanity in him. You’d have to carve it out if you’re to ever save him. But to carve it . . . No. You couldn’t. Not you.

Two terrible things happened that night, things that you’d quicker forget than let yourself remember fully.

His calloused hand attacked your neck, wrapping around it with such brutal force, it knocked the air out of you. Immediately, four men jumped to your rescue, circling you like hounds, yelling at Chris, trying to snatch him away from you.

“Stand the fuck down,” he snarled at them, never taking his black eyes off you. “You think I’d actually fucking hurt her? She can take this, can’t you, sweetheart?”

You nod, willing yourself to breathe through your panic, to combine this touch with the one he uses when he makes you feel good, the pain only pleasurable, only flitting, almost enjoyable. He watches you do this, and something flashes in his expression, a recognition, a moment of clarity. It’s gone as soon as it arrives.

“Don’t ever tell me what the fuck to do, you understand? I’m doing this for you, so you can be safe,” he’s never raised his voice at you, and he’s not doing it now, either. You’d take the screaming over this eerie calmness, this polite rage.

This is the monster under your bed, the demon in your closet. You can’t do anything about this, you don’t even know what’s hiding there.

“I didn’t ask for that, Chris,” you manage to say, placing a hand over the one on your throat. No one speaks, no one moves.

“You’ve no fucking idea what’s good for you, do you?”

“Clearly,” you reply, calmly, bitterly.

You see him swallow, and fight with the shadows clouding his judgment. You see the split decision—and the way he shoves you away, the way he refuses to look at you any longer. 

“Have it your way,” he snaps. He’s still so beautiful to you, even like this, the way a severe thunderstorm is, the way gray clouds can cover an entire sunny day in minutes. Not despite, but in spite.  “But this fucker dies today.”

In a split second, your life—an infinite whirlwind, a dizzying dance with no end in sight—it changes, it shifts, because—Chris takes his gun out, a single click, and shoots the man on the floor beside you. All it takes. A blink of an eye. No one seems to get what happened, probably accustomed to the death looming over, but you—you’re covered in blood now, blood that’s not yours, and you’ve never seen someone die before. You don’t even think it registers in your mind, really. You just stare, and stare, and hope that he’ll get up and go to a hospital, because he looks terrible.

“Don’t feel too bad, princess,” Felix whispers somewhere from behind you. “He was a registered sex offender. Boss found out today. Chris had to do it.”

“Chris is not a hit man,” you say mechanically, paralyzed, something else looking through your eyes, inhabiting your body. 

Where are you? Where’d you go?

“No, he’s not,” he agrees. You faintly feel a hand on your shoulder. You don’t react. “But he’s the one that’ll always get the job done. No matter what.”

This is the second thing. Learning that your boyfriend might be more of a collection of ghosts than an actual person. That the blood sprayed on your legs could be anyone’s, could be yours. The thing is, you weren’t truly scared before, but you are now.

And the terrifying truth—you still love him. You love him, you love him, it beats as sure as your heart, it fills you with guilt and despair, because . . . you don’t even really care. You should, surely. This is a horrible situation. But Chris is standing a mere few feet away from you, and he wants nothing to do with you, not when he’s like this, and somehow that’s more severe, that’s—that’s the real tragedy.

“Take care of it,” he cracks his neck, addressing no one in particular. Any of these men would do anything for him, for the club. Honor and loyalty, above all. “Bring me the books. There’s still business.”

Minho and Seungmin get to work, while a third person goes in the back. You don’t know who, you don’t see them, your gaze hasn’t moved from Chris. You whisper his name again, like back in the alley, over and over, and hope for him to turn around, to look and see, to dance with you, to shake you and make you spill. But he doesn’t. You don’t think he ever will again.

You’re one of them now. He didn’t keep you away, he failed, and so now you know.

“And for fuck’s sake, someone take her the hell away from here.”

You kickstart. “No, I won’t go.” You’re here, you’re here, where would I go if you’re here?

He won’t even spare you a second, a moment. He’s walking towards the bar, he’s lighting a cigarette, his hands are still raw and bleeding. The club is closed for the night, you’re no longer needed. Just another witness, just another person in the room. He can make you feel so small, so incredibly small, like you never mattered at all.

Felix steps up and offers to drive you.

“To the house,” Chris instructs firmly, skimming through pages of numbers. “Stay with her until I come back.”

There’s tears stinging your eyes. You fight not to let anyone see them. There’s so much movement around you, it’s making your head spin. Red, fuschia, orange, yellow, blue—the lights never stop turning, they bleed over everything, a dream, a technicolor dream. You lift your hand to your cheek to confirm you’re still real, that you’re still breathing.

You’re sick to your stomach. Not enough. Not enough.

“Why are you sending me away?” You try again, foolishly hoping he’s going to pay you any mind, give you any explanation.

“Come on, (Y/N),” Felix mumbles close to your ear. “You don’t wanna be here for the clean up, trust me.”

Why are you sending me away, why are you sending me away . . . You don’t remember the ride to the club house. You don’t remember much of anything after the click of that gun. It echoes. The man’s eyes roll to the back of his head, a loop of red, fuschia, orange, yellow, blue, redfuschiaorangeyellowblueredfuschiaorangeyellowblue

Someone screams.

ACT FOUR: after.

“I’ve never had a moment’s peace.”

Shirtless, with bandages running down his chest and over his shoulder, he looks like a tortured man returned from war. Burned. Turned inside out.

He was born with a gun in his hand, a ticking time bomb in his head. It’s been counting down since, the brain has festered into a landmine, a battlefield. No. Peace is a foreign word. Reserved only for you.

You listen, you let yourself become the body he loves. You can’t find it in you to be angry at him, not anymore.

“How can I hold a thing like you in my hands and not break it? When you asked me for the truth . . . I couldn’t think of anything, (Y/N), not a single fucking thing,” he wraps a towel around your head, sure, capable hands pulling you up and helping you out of the bathtub. “What I feel for you is poisonous, it’s disturbing. You don’t want that. You shouldn’t want that. It’s not what you deserve.”

“You’re saying all this like you’re saying goodbye,” you whisper, letting him dry your skin, noticing the way he won’t allow himself to linger too long.

You see his mouth curve, his brow furrow. A strange image. It’s almost as if . . .

“I’ve only ever been a monster. A pathetic fucking excuse of a man, and I cannot keep you caged, I can’t keep being selfish with you,” when he’s once again met with your silence, he circles around you, hides behind your back. “You’re incredible, you know that? Other girls would’ve been running for the hills, but not you,” when he lets your hair fall, there’s a horrifying sound, like the earth ripping apart, the heavens falling—

Chris is crying.

Chris is crying and something is very, very wrong. Nothing feels right. He won’t let you turn around. His hands hold you still, his face is buried between your shoulder blades, and he.won’t.let.you.turn.around.

Your eyes sting with the effort it takes not to break down alongside him.

“You just—won’t—fucking—leave. You won’t give up,” he sobs, and then he’s hugging you, he’s hugging you so tight your ribs burn, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because you never in a thousand years ever pictured this man crying, much less in front of you.

“I’m never giving up,” you reassure him, trying to soothe the boy trying to come out, to escape. “Because I love you. Whatever that means for you, Chris. I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”

He feel him shake his head, his hand wraps around your throat, bodies flush against each other. “I want you. I want you without . . .”

He lets go.

You turn to him, tilting your head, looking for his eyes. He exhales shakily, and moves away, grabbing his lighter from his back pocket, the cigarette from behind his ear. He rubs his face raw, then lights it, tip cherry red and burning fast, and he uses a hand to sit on the tiled floor, one arm resting on his knee. You get in front of him, towel forgotten, numb, completely numb.

“The club?” You say, quietly, so as not to anger the spirits, the demons. For no one else to hear but him. “You want to leave the club?”

He chuckles bitterly, and scratches his brow with a thumb, avoiding your gaze completely. Smoke swirls around you like snakes hunting for prey, an ominous presence. “I can’t even fucking say it. It’s been my whole life, my whole life. This fucking place—I know nothing else.”

“We‘ll figure it out. If you want out, we’ll find a way. Chris, these people look up to you, they trust you—”

“No, the fuck they don’t. That trust goes out the fucking window as soon as I walk. If I leave I’m a fucking traitor. If I leave I’ve betrayed all of them.”

You reach for his empty hand. He pulls away. You can’t ignore the Deja vu of this action. “And what about you?” You press, still. “What about what you’ve given for them, for their laws and rules? Your soul, Chris—”

He laughs, then, a proper laugh. When he does, finally, meet your eye, you see it all. The tortured, the choked, the repressed. It will never be easy. Ever. He might not ever make the decision, he might not ever leave. But dreaming about it . . . He has the right. No matter how unattainable, how unrealistic it seems to him. Why has no one ever shown him how?

“That battered, old thing,” he muses at his cigarette. “Lost it a long time ago, baby. Nothing there.”

“I don’t believe that.”

His smile breaks your heart. It looks so defeated, so devoid of any real happiness. “This is why I can’t let you go,” his fingers reach out and touch your bottom lip, the intention pure, nothing more than a reminder you’re still there, still his, but his gaze speaks of something darker, something you’ll never be able to quit.

“I got charges against me,” he says. “If I take the fall, the club remains. If I don’t, it all goes to hell.”

No. No. “Let it,” you choke out. “Let it! Chris, we can leave. We can go. Let’s just go. Please, I don’t—I can’t, I don’t want to lose—”

The biker puts his hands on your shoulders, shushes you, cradles you like a baby. You comply, a million different things bubbling inside you, ways to get him out, words you never said, everything you didn’t get to do yet. It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair.

“Listen to me,” he continues, cigarette hanging limply from his mouth. “It’s already done. I’ll be gone for a long time, alright, and I need to make sure you’re fucking taken care of. Be a good girl for me, yeah? Listen to me, (Y/N).”

You couldn’t. You were crying too hard, you missed him already. What you two had was nothing but burrowed time, you knew this, and you still mistook it for forever. This was why he didn’t want to get too close. This is why, every time you tried to hold onto him, he slipped away like quicksand. It was all coming down to this.

“Sweetheart, come on, stop crying. You know who I am, yeah? Don’t worry about me, I can take care of myself. Listen to me—I’ve hidden money away. I want you to have it, okay? Use it to get yourself a place, somewhere safe. And don’t fucking go back to that club, I don’t wanna hear you went back, you hear me? Do something for yourself, go to school, I know how fucking smart you are, you’ll fucking blow them away. Hm?” He lifts your chin with his thumb, kisses your forehead, staying there, lingering for one, two, three seconds, before he pulls back and looks into your eyes, willing you to agree, to accept the money, to go on living without him. “I love you, alright? You got all of me, whatever’s still there, it’s all yours. Don’t wait for me. Live.”

“I don’t want to.”

He deflates, sighing heavily. “Don’t make this harder than it is, (Y/N). Do what I say.”

You shake your head, sniffling, wiping at your cheeks. “Not without you. I’m not doing any of that without you. I’ll wait. I’ll wait for you.”

His expression is pleading, his nails digging into your skin like he wants to crawl inside and change your mind. “It’ll be years, baby. Too many. You’ve no fucking idea the shit I’ve done. They got it all, some fucking snitch went and gave it all away. I’m turning myself in tomorrow, I’m not—I’m not fucking asking you to wait. You’re not. Find some lucky boy that’s got nothing to do with this life, and be normal. I never meant to bring you into all of this. You didn’t—didn’t fucking deserve it.”

“Just like that?” you ask, defeated. You could never picture yourself being with anyone else, no one at all.

After Chris, nothing. Alone. Lonely, forever.

He chuckles, crushing you to him, his arms strong, and steady, and home, home, home. “Just like that. I’ll wring his fucking neck out if he’s not good to you, though. I’ll always keep an eye out, always make sure you’re safe.”

“Can I hear it again?” Such a quiet request, barely anything.

He knew exactly what you meant. Your heart broke, fresh tears making their descent on your face. He wiped all of them away. He held you as if, if it was up to him, he’d never, ever let go.

“I love you. I love you so fucking much, sweetheart. You’ll be alright. I got you. I got you.”

You reach to where you know he keeps his gun. His hand flies out to stop you, gaze flaming with fear, with anger. Ash burns your arm, but you don’t even feel it. You’ve seen him use it; undo the safety, press down on the trigger. It was so easy for him. It’ll be easy for you too.

“Shoot me, then,” you bellow. “If you’re not gonna let me do it myself, shoot me! I don’t fucking want this, I’m not losing you, I’m not getting with someone else! What about me? You got this great plan—did you ever stop to think about what I’d want? If I’d be able to move on like how you’re expecting me to? I can’t just switch off my feelings for you, Chris, it doesn’t work like that, okay? I’ve gone through too much, I’ve seen too fucking much to just—to just—”

He wrestles you down, pinning your body on the floor, and getting on top of you, his smooth, cold gun resting on top of your heart. His mouth had curled into a tortured snarl, a bitter smile, his eyes shiny, crazy. You were shaking, he was shaking. You started crying, he started crying. With his thigh against your cunt, you felt his erection, hard and twitching.

“You think I didn’t think of this first?” He said roughly. “Christ, (Y/N), I’m trying to do the right thing here. You think I’ll be able to fucking kill you? I fucking adore you. I’d rather shoot myself in the head first, get it over with. Don’t ever fucking ask that of me again. I’ll be a dead man the second I do such a thing. I’ll be a dead fucking man if I’m not able to have you. Don’t ever fucking do that again.”

“Coward,” you spit in his face, and fight against his death grip. “Sentence us both then. I’ll be dead either way.”

He smashes your lips together. It hurts, it hurts, you wanna say, but you don’t think it’ll ever stop. There’s nothing in his way, everything in yours. In the time it takes to unzip his pants, grab his cock and guide it inside you, you’ve mourned him a thousand times over. To never have this again—him, again. . . You’ll die from missing him. You’ll cry yourself dry. There’s absolutely no way to escape this fate. You’re not ready, you’ll never be. How ridiculous it all seems in the end, faced with losing him.

He makes love to you slow, gentle, like he’s never done before. It’s not so much to get you off, than it is to make you understand. He could kill you both, but he’ll never be able to see you again. His place will be hell, the lowest level, the one he’ll have to keep walking for all eternity, while you’re up with the angels. If he doesn’t, if he hides the gun and never thinks of it again, at least he knows you’re somewhere out there, where there might be a one in a million chance he gets to be with you once more. If you’ll take him. Old and grey. He’ll never see you again as you are underneath him right now.

You stay like that on the floor for a while, with his seed spilling from between your legs, your scent all over him. You kiss him and for the first time, he kisses back. No teeth, no fists.

When he moves you over to the bed, he sleeps for the first time since he was born.

He sleeps and he dreams of you, of little hands reaching out, of being away from all this, far, far away. What he would give.

Everything. Everything.

[skyrigel]

“Exile”

Pairing: Cregan Stark x exiled!Reader

Hotd masterlist

You had no name, no home, no where you belonged. But Cregan doesn't think so, he thinks you belong to him, maybe you do.

Warning: Angst, hurt/comfort, jealousy, inappropriate language, fluff [ wc: 1.9k ]

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

You watched the snow flakes fall, like crushed sugar taking refuge on your lashes, soft and cold.

The girls had ofcourse abandoned sewing and started whispering to each other, and like always you were excluded, not that it concerned you, exiled.

Their ohhhs and ahhhs weren't quiet enough, you kept your head low and mouth tight, smearing your thumb in the insides of your hand.

That's where Cregan was standing, when you first met.

His face was cold and distant, watching as you were brought between these walls, stripped from your name, all titles, no honour to serve, no virtue to entact, just nameless exile, a no-one, truly pathetic.

You thought he wouldn't speak, the way he moved, his shoulders were always tense, like something physically was burdening him, and you weren't going to start with his frown—not that it was your concern but it wouldn't kill him to smile, he might look good if he smiled. And how coldly he spoke, you almost ran opposite of him during those first times.

Ofcourse he was good looking, very, what you were even playing at ? All the girl you were forced to indulge with talked of nothing but him, the noble ones were shy, only smiling under their breaths and blushing bright crimson while common court girls had wide mouths and broad imaginations, also filth —they spoke so much of the young wolf like they knew anything — they didn't, nothing at all.

Have you seen his ribs ?

he's...she beamed pink...very big. Yes bitch.

He's got so much there, chuckle, no, you haven't seen Martha, I have — Liar— And his mouth, ohhhh.

And he's wild like a wolf, just last night—No, he wasn't with you.

“Stop!”

All the girls snapped their head at you in union, some actually scared that it was Septa, some had mean, annoying frowns knitting on their dull, red faces.

“ What's with you ?” one of them said, She was the one who was boasting about her ‘wolf bite', a very angry bruise at the side of her neck, it looked more like hive. Bitch.

“ Don't...” You gulped, “ ...stop spreading rumours...you all..you never really—” It was shameful, you couldn't talk, what would you tell them, that they don't know how it feels to be the one Cregan's arm, how it felt to be kissed by those lips, and to feel his heat creeping up your spine, how it felt to be his lover, no they didn't, none at all. lying whores.

“ She's gone insane.” One shrieked, covering her high pitched screeching of a laughter and other's joined for a snicker.

“ She's just jealous because she's too ugly to be his whore.”

Fuck you. You didn't if you said it or not.

“Aww, you nameless slut.”

Oh.

And you would've said something, but your throat was rigid, your cheeks burnt with shame and all you saw was girls with name, girls with father's and mother's, girls with futures and husbands and children, girls with home and prospects and life.

Then you looked down at your hands, beaten up with hard labour and prickled needles, a sense of reality washed like waves over you.

The kind of waves that brought you to winterfell, your mother's necklace was taken first, a ruby, exiles don't have the luxury.

“ You're no one's daughter, you have no name, no home, no noble blood. You don't belong and don't matter, do you understand ?”

No

“ Yes.”

And during those days in water, you thought what it meant, name wasn't a physical concept, it can't be stripped and yet it was —

“ Aye, girl ! ” that's what you'd become now, a girl, a girl who's no one.

But, you fought back the tears, turning your back to the chatter of giggles, nameless whore... pathetic, isn't she ?... Your eyes were brimming with tears and your vision was blurring, you just ran, wherever your flight took you, just far, far, far.

“ Ow —ouch.” You squealed, bumping against a hard except walls didn't have hands to steady you and wall didn't speak.

“ You should be care— Are you crying? ” Cregan said, he had that sweet way of talking to you, it's an inside joke.

“ Are you...are you scared of me ?” Cregan said, his mouth twitched in concern —worrying.

“ Oh...I..no..m'lord.” You bowed, feeling your cheeks flush, you realised how poor your attempts have been to avoid Cregan, only landing you to him personally seeking you out.

“ Cregan.” He said, noticing you wide blown eyes, “ Call me just Cregan. If you don't mind, lady Y/n ”

A pause. It's been a while you heard your name said so beautiful, each syllable, each sound resonating like waves rippling through water, a soft music, you couldn't believe it was something that was yours, that it belonged to you.

“ I am an exile.”

“ You never answered my question? Have i done something to offend you ? ”

You looked up at him, feeling your heart spiral in a lavender haze.

“ You, m'lord —” Cregan frowned, “ Cregan. You are...I..you speak coldly.”

“ Right.”

“ I shouldn't have said that.” You said it, panic seizing you but... was it...oh, he's smiling, Cregan Stark is smiling like a fool and it's so bright that you feel your skin melting, your bloody boiling and your mouth too dry.

“ Thanks, i think you wouldn't avoid me now.” He said, like a different person, his jaw was loose, his eyes were crinkling, his words were carrying warmth and sweetness.

“ I am not.” you sniffed, but he already had your wirsts in his grip, holding them like you were guilty. Maybe.

“ Tell me Y/n.” He urged, he leaned to inspect you, a tear fell down your eye, gathering at the tip of your chin.

“ It's nothing, really Cregan, nothing at all.” you tried to smile, it could've worked with anyone but Cregan knew your bones better than you, he frowned and if times were different, you would've kissed it away, whoosh.

“ Tell me darling, it would pain me if I couldn't take away your misery.” His eyes deepened in yours, brushing your cheeks and you leaned into his palm, “ I don't want to see you, I don't..fuck — it hurts me.”

“ I don't want to hurt you.” You said, loving him was like an itch, a never ending torment, craving him was stopping the itch only to realise you'd ripped off your skin, like that.

It began with you ducking around him in halls, turning away from him at every point because he just intimidated you, the way he looked, like he knew, like he could read everything that ran in and out your brain, it scared you, the power, the chaos.

Then something changed, whenever you were alone you found yourself with him, telling him about home, no longer home, praying and praying, and he watched, sometimes he joined too, kneeling beside you, shoulders touching, eyes closed and in those moments you drifted into a dream, in your dream you were getting married, you had dreams like this before but now the man had a face, a truly beautiful face, and you were saying your vows, you let yourself smile at those ridiculous sweet nothings, ofcourse no, you stupid, stupid girl, no.

And you loved talking to him because he listened, everything and nothing and he made no noise, nodding and smiling along, sometimes he would lean to your side, sometimes taking your hand and guiding to his hair while he laid in your lap, looking up to with stars in his eyes, and then one day war came and duty called.

“ I will come back to you.” sweet, he said it so sweetly that you could've died.

“ I know.” and maybe it was love that rippled the thought of parting, because love was afterall grief preserving, your breath hitched and you hesitated only a moment, a bare second before you reached on your tip toes, joining your lips to him, for a man who was ice, his lips were warm like fire, soft and warm.

You blushed when you heard grabbed your face, pulling back and looked into your eyes, a grin, almost spilling out of his mouth.

“ I will come to back to you.” and he kissed you again, kissing Cregan was like confetti, it's one moment everything is bursting golden and then the ashes settle, he has to leave, for war, but the sparkle never leaves — he'll come back to you.

“ Then tell me, please, let me help you.” Cregan's eyes were pained, his jaw hardening, he would break his face like that.

“ Just girlish tatter, they claim to know, claim that they have with you..you, that they know how it's like kissing you and how it's like bedding you and how —” You didn't realise you were breaking until Cregan swooped you in his arms and gathered your pieces, you were pathetic, and what if it's true, what if they know, it didn't matter, you were no one, no claim, no right, no name, exiled.

“ Oh, my darling...shhh.” He kissed the top of your head, his arms wrapped around you, helping you hold on to him.

“ They are all pathetic liars, all of them...no, they don't and they never will. Only you my baby, only you my lady.”

“ I am sorry...I am being pathetic.” You pressed your wet face into his cloak, somewhere inside his heart was beating, only for you, Cregan had told you very much, when he traced your finger on his chest, there, he would smile, can you feel it ? , He would gleam like a teenage boy, yes, i can, thud-thud-thud, You would lean down to press your ear on his chest, he would spoon you, skin by skin, just two warm bodies and glittering souls, yeah, just for you.

“ No, you're not, my darling. You're not, they are... pathetic and jealous.” He was raging, you knew, but he wouldn't lash out, not now because it would mean he would have to let go of you, not yet.

You smile into his arms, it will be okay, as long as it's like this, you and him, you don't need a name, really — just him, he's your home, he's yours, he's where you belong.

“Okay, okay...now calm down my lord.” You looked up at him, his brooding sulking face, no, they don't deserve it.

“ Huh, What did you say lady y/n ? ” He cocked his head, the corner of his mouth tugging at one end, beautiful.

“ I am an exile.” You said, watching as he shaked his head, wriggling you along as he shaked your waist in a hug-like way.

“ No.” He pecked your lips, “ you're mine.”

Maybe love wasn't just grief preserving, but life blooming like twilight flickered by the horizon, almost blinding but so beautiful.

[poppy-metal]

twisting urself up in knots abt craving a rougher more frenzied touch from ur husband after the baby’s born ur body’s changed but ur libido hasnt and u dnt know how to ask for more so ur becoming more closed off meanwhile everytime yall do have sex art’s fighting demons to not stick his thumb in ur ass and plow u into the mattress

it's literally ridiculous like yall are STUPID. I feel like eventually you'd just blow the lid off during an argument YOU started because you're moody and horny and arts wearing a knit sweater and looks so fucking hot and dilfy you want to kick him. you want him to bend you over and slap your ass and beat your pussy up on his dick. and he won't!!!!! you yell at him for something stupid and simple like putting your babies toys away wrong (he wasn't) and art is so lost puppy about it all, he just wants to fix it, he hates seeing you upset. and eventually you just spit out - "you think I'm ugly!!" and burst into tears.

art almost cries himself because that statement has never been more untrue and his baby is sobbing and it's somehow all his fault and he sweeps you in his arms and kisses the top of your head so so tenderly. "baby, what's wrong? you know that's not true." when you don't answer him he pulls back, holds you at arms length. "hey. it's not true. you're fucking beautiful. like, it hurts how pretty you are."

you bottom lip wobbles. "th - then why don't you touch me anymore?" you say pitifully and art rubs his hands up and down your arms, his brows pinched in confusion.

"I do - I do touch you. am i.... is there a way I should be touching you that I'm not?"

you look away.

art implores you gently, "baby, please. talk to me."

"how you touched me when we were." you flushed. "trying for our baby. you don't touch me like that anymore, you don't- you don't fuck me like that.... anymore...."

art is quiet. his cheeks get pink. his hands squeeze your arms. he fumbles for what to say for a second and when you start to pull away he tightens his hold, almost loosens it, but then he sees the wide eyed expression you make and keeps his grip firm.

"you want me to -" he clears his throat. he's got alot of thoughts right now, "you want it like that with me? again?"

you look at him, incredulous. he seems shy about it. insecure, even.

"art that was the hottest sex of my life. I think about it when I touch myself next to you while you're asleep."

oh.

"oh."

you look at his chest, embarrassed by your outburst. you'd essentially thrown a tantrum over not getting dicked down the way you wanted to be and you felt like a brat. but he was your husband, dammit. you should be able to communicate to him. even about embarrassing things. and what was so embarrassing about wanting him, anyway? he was fucking hot.

"I miss you fucking me like - like I'm a slut." you mumbled the last part. aware your baby is just in the other room, put down for a nap. you don't want her to wake up and hear mommy and daddy talking about this stuff - even if she can't understand it. "you were so out of control back then - like you couldn't get enough of me and were just taking what was yours." you bite your lip. "I liked that."

art is so relieved. he'd been harboring guilt for the way he acted like an animal when he was trying to get you pregnant. he'd just..... he had a thread of control he was used to maintaining and it fucking snapped. he'd been working on keeping it intact ever since because that's what he thought you wanted.

"you liked it." he echoes. almost in wonder. he's looking at you like you're everything he's ever wanted given to him wrapped in a little bow. the mother of his baby. the love of his life. his wife. the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. and the girl he wanted to bend over a bed and pound into without restraint. "that's - im glad you did." his ears are burning, cherry red. he naws on his bottom lip. "I wasn't sure you wanted to be treated like that again. it was - I was -" he chuckles, a flash of dimple. "- well I wasn't exactly gentle with you."

"I know." you tell him. you sway into him, his arms go around your waist and your arms hook around his neck. your fingers finding the babyhairs curling at the base of his neck and playing with them. "you fucked the shit out me."

your vulgarity makes him laugh - makes you giggle too. he quiets and when he looks at you, your whole body shivers. his pupils are dilated. his hands venture down your body, cupping your ass in his big hands and squeezing.

"I wanna have you like that again." he tells you, honest. his voice is soft and earnest which just makes his next words all the more intense. "I want to fuck you so hard you don't ever doubt how bad I fucking want you." he grips your ass hard, makes you gasp. "need that thought out of your pretty little head as soon as possible, actually."

you're breathless. "my mom," you tell him, "we can have her babysit- a- and we can have a night just the two of us."

he licks over his teeth, already thinking of your body under his - naked and twisted in pleasure as he teases that hot little pussy.

"I'll get us a hotel." he tells you. "do all the things I've been wanting to do to you - "

you nod eagerly "yes -"

the baby starts crying. but you're not disappointed. you feel tummy flutters as art kisses your forehead, lingering for a moment - before he goes to check on your daughter. god he's so fucking hit.

you wonder how he'd feel about you calling him 'daddy' in bed.

[bwabys-scenarios]

Princess(NSFW)

Yandere!Kurapika x Chubby!Fem!Reader

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

warnings: nsfw, breeding, yandere behavior, Kurapika is enamored with you, reader’s body is made fun of(not by Kurapika), violence, death

A/N: the food throwing scene is based on something that happened to me in school LOL

HXH Yandere NSFW: @lightshowerrr @jungtoast @nenggie @aliceattheart @atransmuter @sweetmiri

He can’t get enough of you, really. From the moment he met you, Kurapika was immediately pulled in by your sweet voice and soft frame.

Everything from your cute chubby cheeks to your pretty plump lips had his heart racing.

Of course, Kurapika wasn’t the type to talk for looks alone. You were more kind and patient than he thought possible, always there for him when he needed support or comfort, and never getting upset when he would leave for unspecified periods of time.

You were always so understanding, so sweet and unapologetically you. A ray of sunshine was the only way he could describe you. Even the cloudiest days couldn’t dull your shine.

To him, you were an angel, his princess. Anything you asked for, he would hand deliver if it meant you would give him that pretty smile of yours.

He just adored you endlessly, nothing made him more happy than being by your side.

Kurapika, however, was unfortunately quite shy. It’s not that he didn’t want to share his feelings with you, he just… was afraid of rejection. So, while on missions or away from you, he would stare at your picture, sighing as he dreamed of a life where the two of you could be together.

It wasn’t long before his little crush started to grow into something more… obsessive. After all, the two of you were close, were you not? When he would announce he was coming to visit, you would drop all other plans so you’d be available for him. That meant something, right?

So today, as he took you shopping, Kurapika decided it was about time to tell you how he really felt.

“How does this look?”

You walked out of the changing room in a tight miniskirt and a sweater, making Kurapika glad he wore his loose fitted tabard today.

You plump tummy and soft thighs made his dick twitch, and he cleared his throat as he crossed his legs, his cheeks red. “Y-you look great, (Name).”

Once you changed, he added the clothes to the steadily growing pile of things he wanted to buy you. Kurapika couldn’t help it, you just looked amazing in everything you put on.

Kurapika paid for your clothes before taking his hand in yours. “How about some ice cream? It’s pretty warm out.”

“Ooo, that sounds really yummy-“

The two paused when they heard someone muffling their laugh nearby. Kurapika eyes narrowed before cutting to the left.

“Pfft! Are you sure she needs ice cream?”

You shrunk into yourself as a group of girls and their boyfriends laughed to themselves. Kurapika hated this, he hated seeing you try to hide yourself due to the rude comments of others. You never had anything bad to say about another person, so why were you the one always being insulted and belittled?

“Come on, there’s no need to listen to the words of those with an ugly heart.”

He attempted to guide you away, only for you to yelp when a piece of food was thrown at you.

“There, fatty. If you’re so hungry, eat that.”

Kurapika stood completely still, his eyes on the stain now on your sweater. It had been a gift from him, a soft pink cashmere sweater that you loved.

“K-Kurapika, let’s just go…”

After being friends with Kurapika for a long time, you knew that the scarlet hue taking over his eyes meant trouble in this context. You tried to fight back the tears of humiliation and hurt to prevent Kurapika from going on a rampage.

“I-I’m okay, we can just wash my sweater later. Let’s go to m-my apartment…”

He let out a shaky breath, glaring daggers at the group before gently squeezing your hand. “Alright, angel. Let’s go.”

You sighed in relief, unaware that the quick glance Kurapika made was enough to pick up on several things to later identify the group of people.

They wore jackets with a local college’s symbol, and a few of them still had their part time job uniforms on. ‘Not only are they scum, they’re stupid too. It won’t take much to destroy their lives, and they handed me their information on a silver platter.’

But he wasn’t focused on that now. Kurapika instead shifted his attention to you. Just like you knew when he was about to snap, he knew when you were about to break.

“(Name)… you don’t have to keep up a brave face. What those people said was rude and uncalled for.”

He brought his hand to your face, gently wiping away the stray tears that fell down your soft chubby cheeks. “I’m sorry, (Name). Today was supposed to be a fun day out. Now it’s ruined…”

“It’s not your fault…” you said softly, leaning into his touch. “I was… getting tired anyways. We can hang out at my apartment for a bit instead, eat some snacks and watch a movie.”

Kurapika smiled, his eyes softening as he gave your cheek a light squeeze. “That sounds lovely. I much prefer time spent alone with you to days out anyways.”

————————

Kurapika was currently trying his best not to get hard as (Name) snuggled up with him on the couch, your head resting on his chest.

It wasn’t easy being in love with (Name) and not knowing if you felt the same. You were so sweet and affectionate, always wanting to be held and cared for, but he wasn’t sure if you wanted this attention from him alone, or if you were just this way with everyone.

“Kurapika, kisses…”

His head felt fuzzy and he could hardly move without the bulge forming in his pants throbbing, but Kurapika leaned down and peppered kisses on your cheeks and forehead. “Are you feeling any better now?”

You smiled, your chubby cheeks warm as you leaned into his snuggles. “Yeah… I feel very warm and happy right now.”

He traced circles into the soft flesh of your belly, nuzzling his face against your neck. “That’s a relief. I never want to see you upset, (Name).”

His warm breath fanned against your neck, his lips grazing your jaw. It made you feel funny, and your squirming didn’t escape his watch.

“Everything alright?” he asked, his voice soft… but with a husky edge. Kurapika traced circles into your thigh with the tip of his fingers.

You shivered, and that caught his attention. His eyes lit up before he smirked, gently groping your fat thigh. “Come on, if something’s wrong you should tell me, sweetheart…”

“Mmph… feels weird, Pika… when you get this close I feel all warm and fuzzy…”

He felt something warm spreading through his body, and when he began to subconsciously guide your hips over the bulge in his pants, the two of you both moaned in unison.

Kurapika was quick to slip your skirt up, his hand groping your soft, fleshy ass. Your panties were soaked, he could see the wet spot spreading as his fingers lightly ran over your clothed clit.

Every soft whine and whimper that left your plump lips had his cock twitching, begging for release. He wanted you to know how much he desired you, how badly he needed to be inside your pretty, fat pussy.

Although all he wanted to do was slip your panties to the side and fuck you right there, Kurapika was in love with you. He didn’t want his first time with you to be quick and fueled by lust.

So he scooped you up, much to your chagrin. You whined and complained, but he shut you up with a kiss to your forehead.

“Holding you in my arms is the highest honor. (Name)… I adore you. Don’t you ever forget that.”

He laid you down on your bed, pinning your wrists above you head before kissing down your neck. “I want you…”

Your little plea for him made him bite back a groan. He could tell that you were getting restless by the way your hips bucked into his. You… wanted him.

“You already have me…” he murmured, your panties being tugged down with one hand while his lips met yours. “My body, heart, and soul, it all belongs to you. It has since the moment we met.”

The two of you shared a kiss as his tip pressed into you. He held onto your hand, letting you squeeze it as he entered you for the first time.

He was in heaven, nothing had ever given him so much pleasure before. Kurapika bit on his lip, trying not to cum on the spot.

“God, (Name)…”

He pulled back his hips and pushed back in, shuddering I’m ecstasy.

“P-Pika…”

He blinked, the fog of pleasure clearing from his mind. Tears were pouring down your burning cheeks, and he could see a bit of blood dripping from your warm cunt.

He was your first.

“F-fuck, (Name)..!”

Kurapika panicked, instantly leaning forward to check you over. You were sniffling, clutching onto his shirt tightly.

“J-just hurts a little… my first time…” you managed to get out through your sniffles.

Soft, sweet kisses were placed all over your face, and he nuzzled your cheek. “I’m so sorry, princess. I…”

You leaned into his kisses, nuzzling him back. “It’s okay… I know you’d never hurt me on purpose…”

The two of you lay there, connected in the most intimate way while you shared kisses and soft words of love. It was enough to make you blush, seeing how much he wanted you, how much he needed you.

The pain ebbed away into pleasure, and soon enough you were moving your hips, your eyes growing hazy. “M-mmm… can you..?”

“Y-yeah…”

He was panting too, hips stuttering as he tried his best to hold back for you. If anyone on this planet loved you, it was Kurapika.

The second his cock pulled out and fully sunk into you again, you both let out a breathy moan. It’s like the two of you were in sync.

He buried his face into your neck as his hips rutted into yours, only the sounds of skin agaisnt skin and whines of pleasure could be heard in that dark room.

“I love you… god, I love you so much (Name)…”

The next day, dark hickeys would litter your neck, but tonight it looked so tender and pure… he had to cover it in his marks so everyone would know you were taken.

Each bite, each suck had you crying out, pain mixing with pleasure. His grip on your hips was like iron, keeping you in place so he could pound into your pussy until you saw stars.

Sometimes you forgot just how strong he was. Kurapika had always been gentle with you, never in a million would he ever think of hurting you on purpose, but tonight he left unintentional bruises everywhere he touched you.

He just had to have you as close as possible, your bodies pressed against each other so closely that you could feel his heart beat against your breast.

All he could think of was cumming inside of you, the thought of your belly heavy and swollen with his young flooding his mind.

And by the end of the night, he was curled up around you, his finger tracing circles over your belly. Both of you were exhausted, but happy.

“I love you too, Kurapika…” you whispered, resting your head on his chest as you drifted off.

His fingers gently played with your hair as he lost himself in thought. If he wanted you to be happy and safe… he would have to get his hands dirty.

Kurapika never wanted you to be sad again… and he had an idea on how to help.

——————

The sound of something big being dragged across the floor could be heard, along with a wet THWACK!

“P-please! We’re sorry, we d-didn’t know she was important to you! Just let us go!”

Kurapika dragged a man by the hair and threw him against the wall, his form slumping before falling on top of the various other bodies that were piling up.

“Let you go? No… I couldn’t risk that. How do I know you wouldn’t just find another person to take out all of your anger on?”

Kurapika held up a piece of paper, waving it in the man’s face. “Your mother abandoned you when you were just a child, and now you take out your mommy issues on women that look like her.”

The picture revealed a plump woman in her thirties that had the same body type as you.

He tilted his head towards a girl that was tied up, her head still fuzzy from being drugged. “Does your girlfriend over there know you’re a serial killer? You spend your days harassing random women on the street, then bring women that look like your mother home to torture them before they’re slaughtered.”

Kurapika stabbed the man through the leg, causing screams to tear through the cool night air. “You’ve gotten off easy for domestic abuse charges because your father is on the police force… but I’m not sure daddy can save you now.”

He stepped on the man’s face, taking a drag off of a cigarette. You hated him smoking, but right now he needed it. “I was going to just beat the shit out of you until you got the message… but seems like letting you back on the streets is just going to put my princess in danger.”

After putting the cigarette out on the man’s eye and listening to him scream, Kurapika brought down his foot again and again until all that was left was a bloody mush.

By then, the woman had begun waking up, and screamed. “N-no, don’t hurt me!”

The blonde turned, blood splattered across his face. “Wasn’t really planning on it.”

He pulled out a gun and shot her, then sighed. “See? An instant death.”

Fire spread across the area, the smell of burning skin and flesh alerting people nearby. Kurapika had already fled the scene, and was washing off at a hotel.

Killing wasn’t something he enjoyed… but if it was for you, he could do it. He never wanted you to be afraid or in danger, and anyone who made you cry was unforgivable.

You were sitting on the couch, watching a movie when he got home. It was late, but thankfully you were still up. After all that killing, he needed the comfort.

“Pika, you’re just in time! I just started this new movie, I heard it’s really good!”

He smiled, plopping down next to you and leaning his head in your shoulder. You smelt so good and your body was warm and inviting, he couldn’t hep but bring you close and bury his face into your neck.

“You know I would do anything for you, right (Name)?”

His scarlet eyes looked up at you, and for a moment… you were strangely uneasy. They seemed almost… crazed.

“W-what do you mean?”

But as quick as you spotted it, his eyes were back to normal. “Nothing, nothing.”

He pulled you into his lap, inhaling your scent. “What’s the movie about?”

You knew Kurapika had violent tendencies… but in your heart, you wanted to believe he was a good man, and would never hurt anyone. He was your lover, your best friend… but god did you worry about him.

As the two of you went to sleep that night, he held you as close as possible, his chin resting on the top of your head.

“I would kill for you, you know… and… maybe I already have.”

You weren’t sure why he said that all of a sudden, but he stayed completely calm, as if it was the most normal statement in the world.

“Kurapika… you don’t have to do that… please… don’t.”

You caressed his cheek, looking into his soft brown eyes… and decided to ignore his words.

“Goodnight, love.”

He stared at you for a moment, his eyes narrowing as he held your face in his hands. “(Name)…”

Before he could say anything else, he sighed and smiled fondly at you. “… goodnight.”

As you slept, a strange possessive feeling crept into his heart, and his grip tightened until you whimpered in his sleep.

He would kill for you, end anyone that tried to hurt you or take you away…

Kurapika kissed the top of your head and promised himself that he’d toss his morals aside if it meant keeping you safe.

Anything for you, his princess.

[loves4ge]

close your eyes

toji fushiguro x reader

established relationship

injured toji!!!!!!!!!

if you were already asleep, you wouldn't hear the soft click of the front door. it was quite late, actually, so it wouldn't be a stretch to assume you'd be sleeping. but you couldn't. not without toji. he had certainly spoiled you, wrapping you in his arms each night, rubbing palms into your back, lips against your hairline.

you sit up in the bed, waiting for toji to climb upstairs and get into bed with you. but minutes pass without any appearance of the gruff man, worrying you. slipping into fuzzy slippers the two of you bought at a flea market months ago, you trudge downstairs. there's a pink bow on the band of one of your slippers, reminding you that you took off the bow from the other one to make a little hairclip. for him.

you slide down the stairs, feet heavy with sleep.

"toji?" you call out, his name leaving your lips smoothly, dripping honey and warmth. a groan sounds in response, somewhere from the kitchen.

that doesn't sound promising at all. grimacing, you manage your way to the kitchen in the dark.

you fumble around, gliding your fingers across the wall in an attempt to find the light switch. successful, you flick it on.

“god, toji.” there he is, in all his glory, slid up against the cabinets lined under the kitchen counters. his face is bruised, shirt torn with haphazard and bloodied bandaging peeking through. his face is screwed up in a grimace, and his scar glimmers in the dim, amber light of the kitchen bulb.

"didn't mean 'ta," he shifts, hand tightening over a particular spot on his abdomen, "didn't mean 'ta wake you up."

your frown deepens, a sad sigh leaving you. dropping to your knees, you place your own hands on his forearm.

"love, what… don't say that." you exhale a breath, kissing a seemingly devoid of any hurt spot on his shoulder. he doesn't twitch at the contact; a good sign. there's a first aid box somewhere over in the kitchen which is probably why he dragged himself here in the first place.

you crawl to the cabinet storing the box, retrieve it, then return to where toji is. he is hardly ever this quiet. it scares you.

"what happened?" you murmur softly, using scissors to cut up his shirt. you remove the scraps, and examine him with tender eyes.

"nothin'. just got hurt. it happens." he is short, curt. you expect it; he's not the type to sing kumbaya and hold hands when it's time to open up.

"alright. i'm gonna remove these bandages, okay?" he manages a short nod in response. his hands are limp at his sides as you unravel the gauzy strips. it's hard not to flinch at the red, ugly gash large as a kitchen knife. god, you are gonna be sick. although, you are glad it is shallow, not requiring any stitches.

you work in silence, pressing a cotton pad soaked in disinfectant. toji groans, his hands curling up into fists until his knuckles turn white. after prepping the wound, you start to unwind the roll of medical gauze.

"sit up please." he tries to.

you start winding the bandage around his torso, leaning in close, your face pressing against his bare chest. you snip the bandage, securing the end.

"thank you." his voice is scratchy, and when you look at him, all you can see are the whispers of purple blooming against his cheekbone. your body is sagging in exhaustion, though your mind is running in overdrive.

"i'm so," you start, cutting yourself off as a sob creeps up your throat, "i'm just so, so worried about you, toji. i just- i can't," tears gather in your eyes while he looks at you, expression unchanging, "i don't want to. scratch that, i can't do this without you." there's a watery crack in your sentence but the both of you disregard it.

"i love you." toji says, pain and admiration swirling in those eyes of his that you love so much. you crack a rueful smile at his statement.

"i love you too."

toji smiles, though it probably hurts to do so. his hand that was at his side now travels to yours. you entwine your fingers, softly. he looks at you.

[inesbaby21]

Kate just admiring reader and watching her with her puppy dog eyes☹️

Ahhhh I love you nonnie omg!

- I'm just seeing reader on live/recording a grwm to post and kate just sitting on the bed behind her admiring her!

- Or like Game day grwm's- and Kate wants a little makeup nothing toooo crazy, but it's a home game so of course she wants to look purty and stuff! so she begs (not like she had to beg anyway!) for you to do a some light breathable makeup on her. I'm literally gushing this is too cute!

- Post!game Kate who just wants to shower, get the interviews over-with, eat, and wind down with hyperfeminine!reader omgomgomgggg.

- Kate is secretly a girly girl idc, hyf!reader and Kate definitely have matching/monogramed pj's and definitely share a skincare routine!

"Y/N/NNNN it's 9 o'clock- i'm sleepy and we have a busy day tomorrow" Kate says pouting as you talk to viewers/reply to some comments asking about your hair/very obvious matching pj's.

- I definitely can see Kate dating/marrying a Nepo!Baby BIGGGGG time- or not gonna lie a model! Like not someone who's like super out there- but quiet and reserveddd! Someone who brings her back down to earth after a bad day/game you know?

"I do understand where your coming from Syd- and that this loss wasn't something to take to heart, but Y/N came in from Milan to watch me play and we lost" The blonde says genuinely upset- and hurt, don't get me wrong you definitely didn't care if she won or lost, but it hurt Kate knowing that you'd traveled so far to see her- and she still had lost.

-Hyperfeminine!Reader who does NOT need Kate to dumb things down for her, and mad it very clear that she wouldn't be interested in going to watch Kate play if she didn't understand the sport (definitely had to watch one of those basketball explained in girl term tiktok's but we don't judge!)

-Hyperfem!reader Who definitely has scary girlfriend privilege; wearing whatever she wants at ANY time of the day because "Her girlfriend can fight"

-Whipped!Kate who definitely has a designated section in her closet for readers sleepwear, a few pairs of everything- and her emergency jewelry box! Because what's worse than an ugly outfit? No accessories duh 😞

"Kate fucking Martin. There's no way you keep a whole 1/5th of your closet for your girlfriends stuff" Jada Say Wheezing- as she shows the live the difference between the red, blue, white, black, and grey colors of her wardrobe; and then the pink, green, black, and white section that she had unintentionally dubbed as yours.

- HyperFem!Reader who takes the most unhinged, off guard, and borderline clipped pictures of Kate on Facetime/While she sleeps because "Her face is just so sweet when she's sleeping."

-Hyperfeminine!Reader Who take Kate on a Sephora trip to get her a full face of makeup (She's never gonna touch it Unless you do it, but you know just to have for whenever she's ready!)

-Hyperfeminine!Reader who spent most of her childhood/adolescence running from her femininity/was a tomboy- but randomly after hitting 16-19 had a whole life altering change in style, interest, activity.

- Hyperfeminine!Reader who let's Kate know that she doesn't have to be a "gentleman", and CONSTANTLY reminds Kate that she is a girl too, and never makes her feel ashamed for her more "girlish" interests/hobbies.

-Hyperfeminine!Reader who takes Kate to get her nails/feet done every few weeks (they do those cute matchy matchy couple sets) Kate has to get the shorter/gel of course because of basketball but!

A/N currently listening to country music! may have given me to strength to carry on 😣

[hayatheauthor]

How To Accurately Describe Pain In Writing 

Pain can be an interesting emotion to write about. It gives authors the liberty to merge their character’s emotions and surroundings to create beautiful metaphors and graphic descriptions that draw their readers in and convey their character’s struggles. However, if done wrongly reading your descriptions of pain can feel like a chore to your readers. Unsure how to accurately describe pain in your writing? Here are some tips to help you get started. 

Use The Five Senses 

As humans, we possess five senses that dictate our reactions to the world around us. When writing, it is important to use these five senses rather than just relying on what your character can see. Talk about the sound, the smell, the taste, and even the feeling. 

If your character just got burnt, talk about the sound of sizzling flesh and the slight numbness they feel. Mention the terrible smell of burnt flesh, and make your character feel dizzy with fear as their eyes finally land on the horrific wound. 

Internal bleeding makes people spit blood and taste iron and partially healed wounds feel itchy and irritant. 

There is so much more to pain than what you see, and simply talking about your character’s wounds isn’t nearly enough to make your readers wince in second-hand pain. In fact, they are more likely to skim your passages in boredom. 

Show your readers what your character is experiencing, and then go on to describe their reaction to this situation. 

Build It Up, Then Break It Down 

Pain doesn’t just suddenly come from nowhere. It starts with something small, blossoms, and then spreads. Your character won’t just suddenly get a third-degree burn the size of a baseball by leaning against a hot steel wall for the briefest of seconds. It starts with a light reddish-brown mark, then darkens, maybe even blisters. 

You can’t go from 0 to 100 in one sentence. You need to build it up and show your readers how your character’s pain was found. Then, break it down. 

Pain doesn’t come from nowhere, but it doesn’t suddenly disappear either. Show us how your character’s wound heals. Does the wound mark from where they hurt their knee turn into an ugly brown shade for a couple of weeks? Do their burns gradually fade from red to pink, or turn darker? 

It’s important to show your readers the aftermath of your character’s pain. A character who just had a bullet pulled out of their shoulder with a hot knife can’t suddenly just jump up and start firing at the enemy with perfect aim. 

You don’t need to overdo it and constantly mention their wounds during the healing stage, but something as simple as ‘her bandages uncomfortably scratched at her back every time she lifted her hand to eat’ or ‘his fingers subconsciously shifted to run over the remains of his burn mark even as his eyes remained trained on the blackboard’ will suffice. 

How Does This Affect Your Character? 

Physical pain aside, wounds can also have an effect on your character’s dynamics with others as well as your plot. 

It’s important to take into account how they got this wound, how the other characters might react to it, and internalised conflict caused by it. Maybe your character injured their fingers during a game of volleyball and now they’re staring at their final exam paper with tears of frustration brimming their waterline because it hurts too much to write.

Maybe your protagonist suffered a small burn while sneaking out to go to their friend’s house and their parent or mentor saw it. Or maybe your protagonist won against the antagonist but suffered a grave injury to their legs and now cannot fight during the next confrontation, resulting in a chaotic outbreak at their headquarters. 

Think about the internal as well as the external damage your character’s wounds can cause, and then use that as a plot device to further your book. 

Do Your Research 

It’s very important to accurately portray your character’s level of pain and consider whether or not they would realistically incur such injuries from such a wound. When writing about a character’s wound or pain consider doing some research about that type of wound. 

Here are some things you need to check when researching the wound type: 

How much blood would they loose with this type of wound? 

What are the side effects? 

Could this be fatal? 

How long will it take to heal? 

How long does it take for a wound to get to that extent? (for example, if you’re writing about a third-degree burn, research what it takes for a burn to be considered third-degree). 

What are the major veins, arteries, and other important body parts in that part of the character’s body? For example, if your character is supposed to be injured on their arm but it’s not supposed to be serious, you need to consider whether the wound could realistically have ruptured their radial artery, resulting in death. 

Will there be any scarring? What about any long-lasting wound marks? 

You could also take a look at historical events similar to the one you’re writing. For example, if you’re writing about an assassination attempt consider researching the most historically renowned assassination techniques. 

It’s also a good idea to ask your families and friends about their experiences with the type of wound you’re writing about (so long as it’s not a sensitive topic). Maybe you have a cousin who suffered a third-degree burn once or a classmate who has a scar from a graphic wound across their arm. 

I hope this blog on how to accurately describe pain in writing will help you in your writing journey. Be sure to comment any tips of your own to help your fellow authors prosper, and follow my blog for new blog updates every Monday and Thursday.  

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Are you an author looking for writing tips and tricks to better your manuscript? Or do you want to learn about how to get a literary agent, get published and properly market your book? Consider checking out the rest of Haya’s book blog where I post writing and marketing tools for authors every Monday and Thursday. 

Want to learn more about me and my writing journey? Visit my social media pages under the handle @hayatheauthor where I post content about my WIP The Traitor’s Throne and life as a teenage author. 

Copyright © 2022 Haya, you are not allowed to repost, translate, recreate or redistribute my blog posts or content without prior permission

[outoftheseine]

- SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY FIC RECS -

a lot of dad!simon fics here. i am not sorry. i want to bear this man's child(ren) | note: this is COD so there are some trigger warnings like: blood, guns, injuries, military stuff, death so please beware of them. there also also 18+ content so minors DNI. don't forget to read the authors' warnings | more will be added!

main masterlist

SERIES - MULTI-CHAPTERS

haunted | part 2 • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @babygirl-riley (heavy angst, tw: depression, drugs, addiction suicide, toxic relationship, please read the warnings!)

too old for you | part 2 • simon 'ghost' riley x medic!fem!reader

↳ by @lunarw0rks (smut, hurt/comfort, age-gap)

soft spot • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @cordeliawhohung

the red means, i love you • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader x john 'soap' mactavish

↳ by @thewriterg

smashing pumpkins • simon 'ghost' riley x civilian!fem!reader

↳ by @qwimchii

last kiss | part 2 • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @milf-murdock (angst, unestablished relationship, smut, fluff)

secret lovers | part 2 • husband!simon 'ghost' riley x wife!reader

↳ by @savemefromanepicoftimewasted

my baby swingin' • biker!simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @tojisun (very sexy biker!simon, smut, fluff)

happiness • simon 'ghost' riley x wife!fem!reader

↳ by @lethalchiralium (i feel so fuzzy when i read this series, fluff, sometimes angst, some tw be aware)

i'm with you | keep you close • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @undercoverpena (angst, feelings, explicit)

being yelled at by ghost | part 2 • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @hxltic (angst! simon is an asshole)

northern attitude | part 2 • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @bubbles-for-all-of-us (enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst)

lights on • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @peachesofteal (single mom!reader, fluff, slight angst, protective!simon)

one night stand | part 2 | part 3 • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @cmncisspnandmore

ONE-SHOTS - BLURBS - HC'S

break in, break down • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @hyperactively-me (home invasion, comfort, fluff)

his girls • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @babygirl-riley (so so so fluffy, dad!simon)

one fucking mistake • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @codfanficedits (very angsty, hurt but no comfort for a whilez grieving, tw:depression)

book boyfriend • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @stargirlrchive (fluff)

lime-sized • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @imperihoe-writes (pregnant!reader, very fluffy)

bloodied bullets, soft confessions • simon 'ghost' riley x gn!reader

↳ by @ghosts-cyphera (a little mean!simon, hurt/comfort, injuries, fluffy end)

monster • neighbor!simon 'ghost' riley x afab!reader

↳ by @rowarn (smut, protective!simon, zombie au)

unmasked love • simon 'ghost' riley x afab!reader

↳ by @springtyme (so so so cute! dad!simon)

adoration • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @yawnderu (dad!simon, fluff)

simon 'ghost' riley x sensitive!gn!reader

↳ by @cherryredstars (fluff and nswf content)

this chapter is over • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @colonelarr0w (character death, angst, injuries, some fluff)

simon says • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @unreliablesnake (smut)

salt in an old wound • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!oc!reader

↳ by @ghouljams (hurt/comfort, explicit content, fae au)

blood on my shirt, rose in my hand • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @alwaysshallow (friends to lovers, the continuation is on ao3!)

antique soldiers • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @mangowafflesss

why? • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @riverbutghost (asshole!simon, injuries, slightly explicit at the end)

cold but warm • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @riverbutghost (asshole!simon, injuries, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff)

pretty pink flowers and bloody cherry blossom tree • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @underscorewriting (really really angsty, ugly cried)

for the last time • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @wttcsms (pregnant!reader, mentions of death, angst but fluff)

welcome home • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @nastybuckybarnes (home invasion, arguing, fluff)

medical leave • simon 'ghost' riley x gn!reader

↳ by @kib-ble (mentions of injuries, hurt/comfort, fluff)

no more stars left to count • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @lvlyghost (angst, hurt/comfort)

protective • simon 'ghost' riley x reader

↳ by @ponyosmom35 (medic!reader, protective!simon, tw: sexual harassement)

return • simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader

↳ by @bruhrobs (fluff, colleagues to lovers, single mom!reader)

[madamechrissy]

Fractured Desires

ꕥ Pairings: Suguru Geto x Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader (Mostly Satoru Gojo x Reader)- It's a mess tbh lol

ꕥ Warnings-MDNI-explicit sexual content, threesomes/ foursomes/ complicated shit, infidelity and confusion. Angst and smut and yandere Gojo behavior. In this chapter- Cunnilingus, rough sex, dirty talk, objectification, spitting, overstimation, Satoru is a toxic hottie, obsessed behavior

ꕥ Word Count this chap- 11k

ꕥ Summary- You meet Suguru Geto at your work, he is charming, gorgeous, and has a poly lifestyle. You jump in, and you all share women and have way too much fun. But then it's starting to get serious between you, official even. He can't wait to have you meet his best friend. But... Satoru Gojo hates you. The minute you meet. He gives you no reason, but he's nasty to you, no matter what you try. Suguru finally has enough of Satoru being so mean and brings up the idea - 'let's have you two fuck this frustration out'

Satoru hates you because deep down wants to make you his. He doesn't understand how Suguru could ever want anyone but you. Though it's a bad idea, he agrees to share you with Suguru for a chance at you and... The moment he touches you... Rules are bent and broken, Suguru develops feelings for another girl, and Satoru gets further obsessed with you. Nothing is as it seemed. Will everyone get hurt?

Chapter 3 - Masterlist

Chapter 4

Satoru's POV

Satoru sees you, in the dark of the night, and you crush his goddamn heart with those streaks down your face of tears. You step out of your VW beetle, and he cringes as he sees you have eyelashes on the headlights, flowers all over it. It looks awful, it certainly doesn’t suit someone as beautiful as you, oh if you could be his he would make sure you never had to drive anywhere.

You step up to him, still in that little dress from earlier, and the sight of the straps of your lingerie entice him to no end, falling just slightly off your little shoulders, revealing so much supple skin. Your eyes, the ones that haunt his every dream, are all puffy and red from crying, and there is an anger that takes hold of Satoru then.

What did Suguru do to you?

Whatever it is, Satoru wants to just keep you safe, if he can make you his… Could you be his? Would you? His thoughts make him ache as his gaze looks down your every curve, as you clutch your little hands together nervously, your pink purse slung over your shoulder. You’re so girly and pretty and…

What’s he doing? Just standing out here. He should ask you in, no fuck he should carry you in, like the little doll you are. Oh and to fuck you like a doll makes him so hard under his pajama pants he can’t function. To have you to himself…

Satoru shakes himself out of it, out of the thoughts of you that never stop running through his addled mind, you encompass all his thoughts lately. He’d been stroking himself to the memory of your cunt so hard his dick hurt, wishing he could have done more to you, so much more. But were you really ready to be his, or would you stay just out of reach?

It tortures him, you torture him.

Your POV

“Why does your car have eyelashes!?” Satoru demands, in the middle of the night, fuck it’s almost the morning. And you can’t stop the giggle that escapes your lips as he’s standing there shirtless, arms crossed over his chest in blue pajama pants with little cats on them.

“Why are you judging me, while you’re wearing those?” You tug at them, and he glares down at you.

“ These are comfy. That is stupid. So ugly. Like beetles aren’t ugly enough.” He shivers in disdain and you cross your arms too, scowling.

“My beetle is beautiful! Look at the flowers! Those are hand painted, I’ll have you know.”

“They’re hideous. Ugh, come in, your car is turning me off. Gonna be no dick for you.” You roll your eyes as you walk into his fancy house now, with floor to ceiling windows, modern and beautiful. It’s immaculate as you step in.

“You’re so mean. Should I even be here?” You ask, and then gasp as he’s got you pressed against the door, holding your face gently in his huge hands, and you see his mad look in those pretty blue eyes.

“I asked you here, so shut up. Okay?” You just sigh, little hands gripping his wrists then. “You want a drink?”

“Am I … staying the night?” You ask nervously, and he laughs a bit then.

“It’s almost morning. Yeah you’re staying. Drink or not?”

“Yes, thank you.” He grabs your hand and leads you toward the kitchen, eyeing you as he pops open a bottle of whiskey, you try to even your erratic breathing. “Want something to wear besides a dress?”

“You wanna see me in your clothes, huh?” He rolls his pretty eyes, and then hands you a little crystal glass filled with amber liquid.

“I’ll get you something but it’ll be huge. You’re tiny.” He didn’t answer your question, but he’s back with a soft gray shirt and black shorts. You sigh, smiling gratefully at him.

“Thank you, Toru.”

“Shut it with the nickname, brat. Go get out of that dress, mmkay. Bathroom is right there.” He points and you take a sip of the whiskey first, letting it burn, walking over to Satoru’s bathroom and changing then, his clothes are so long on you, but they’re comfy and soft.

You tie the shorts as tight as they go, peeking at your dress and lingerie, folding them with a frown, as it hits you. Suguru Geto, the man you really thought you were in love with, hadn’t even cared to see you in it. He hadn’t found you good enough to even cuddle with, to even… and you’re just done with him, now. How did someone so perfect become so…

Awful. Suguru was awful.

You weren’t the best, no you’re here with his best friend, aren’t you? But you only feel slightly better knowing you are done, but you know that this will lead to so much more drama, but you couldn’t not come here. There was so much there, in the energy between Satoru Gojo and you, that you are consumed with it.

Your phone buzzes, and you peek at it, only to see his name, and you damn near want to throw the fucking phone.

Suguru : Princess, please don’t let this be over. I am so sorry… can we please talk? I can’t wait until tomorrow.

You: Suguru I said we’d talk but I can’t. I am done. I don’t want to be treated second best any longer. Please just let it go.

Suguru: We are not done. You can’t just say that, you can’t just do that, where even are you? Let me come over.

You: And leave Shoko alone? No, don't be so rude. Treat her better than you did me.

Suguru: I don’t love her, can’t you see? I was just… hurt by how close you and Satoru were.

You scoff, rolling your eyes and glaring at the goddamn phone.

You: Bullshit. You ignored me last time with her. You can’t just blame Toru for all our problems.

Suguru: Toru!? You call him a nickname? The man that called you unattractive just Friday, the one who is mean as fuck to you? Now I know he is the problem. Me and you will fix this.

You: There is nothing to fix. There’s no us.

Suguru: You can’t mean that. Give me a chance, to show how important you are to me, to show love. We won’t play around anymore. I see that it’s hurt you and I feel like shit.

You: I’m sorry but no, it’s more than that. This isn’t fixable. You couldn’t even cuddle with me? I just felt so alone.

Your tears well back up as those sounds hit, you’re so perfect , it nearly incapacitates you.

Suguru: Just let me come see you. I can’t just write to you. Did you not even really love me at all? How can you love someone and leave?

You: I thought I was in love with you, but I don’t even know you.

Suguru: You do know me. Just let me fix it, let me make you feel special, we can get away from here and just be alone.

You: No. Throw out anything I left, and do me a favor, treat Shoko better than you did me. Wish you the best. Goodbye, Suguru.

You ignore anything else he says now, putting the phone on silent, hyperventilating damn near as you stare at your reflection in the mirror. The phone is buzzing and vibrating, shaking in a circle, and he’s calling you, so you say fuck it, and hold down the power button.

What are you doing at his best friend’s house? What future could you and Satoru have, as his best friend… if Satoru even wanted that. At the moment it seems you two are just sexual. Very sexual. Mind blowingly Sexual actually, but hate sex doesn’t equal relationship. But do you even want one?

Or do you want to feel Satoru Gojo’s lips on every inch of your body?

Want to see his eyes when they go insane blue?

Want him to say those horrible things, call you a slut, a whore even,  want him to cum in you?

Fuck.

You’re overheated, your brain is just mush, with exhaustion, heartache and something more, something new. An obsession growing with the white haired man out there waiting for you, the one who you ran to, the one who hates you. He does hate you, doesn’t he?

But his hate feels better than Suguru’s ‘love’.

You shake it off, walking out now and Satoru’s hungry gaze rakes over you, as he’s sipping his own drink, the room is dimly lit in soft light, bathing his perfect shirtless body in an ethereal glow. You eye him greedily, every beautiful muscle, every cut and line on his well formed frame.

“So, have a seat, brat.” He taps the stool next to the bar, and you rest your arms on the granite countertop, sighing as he sits next to you. “What happened?”

“He… I… Oh, shit…” You’re crying, then, and Satoru hesitates, watching as you try to swipe your tears off your face. “Sorry, fuck.”

“So it was bad. Huh?” You exhale, nodding then.

“So… Suguru has a rule that we don’t play once one of us is done, he’s always had this rule. But I woke up and… I was alone. I figured he must be crashed on the couch, but…”

“Oh shit.” He wipes a hand down his face, sighing.

“Y-yeah. Um he… well they were fucking. Obviously. But it wasn’t even that, I could forgive it even though it’s hurtful-”

“What!? Why would you forgive that? Him breaking every rule he’s created like some game.” Satoru’s anger is clear in his voice, and you tremble a bit at it. “And he sure didn’t fucking want to let you come here, so what he plays with women on his own and you have to listen ?”

“I know. I know it’s fucked up. But I would forgive him if not for-”

“You’re stupid.”

You glare at him, as you both angrily sip your drink. “Let me finish if you want to know what happened. Stop cutting me off.”

“Well if you weren’t talking so stupid I would. Why in the hell would you take him fucking in the guest room when he said, right in front of me mind you, that he would be cuddling with you.”

“I’m hurt as fuck, okay!? I am not saying it’s not so hurtful. But I get it that he wants her a lot. That I’m not enough-”

“So fucking stupid. You’re a whole idiot to think that.”

“Satoru let me finish!”

He grimaces, rolling his eyes, his white lashes fluttering, and then he touches you, hand on your thigh. You shiver at it, at the first physical contact from Satoru Gojo, alone. “Did you break up with him?”

“Yes. I did. He wouldn’t let me go unless I promised to talk to him later, he was like blocking me by the door. Trying to explain. Anyway it’s not that he fucked her, yeah it hurt, but it was what he said to her. I can’t-”

“You’re done with him though?”

Your eyes meet his, and you see it, the desperation in them, when he cups your face, studying you. “Yes I am done, I can't do it anymore. I texted him just now to let me go and have fun with Shoko-”

“So, you're done with him? Not gonna go back?”

“Done. He even did this ‘I love you’ fake confession.” Satoru snorts at that, rolling his eyes. “Satoru you won’t let me finish a sentence for shit, by the way.”

“You’ll finish all over my mouth in just a few minutes. Hurry up now.” You blink a bit then, lips parted as you gasp at his words, as his hand on your thigh squeezes, squishing the plush of your thigh with his huge grip.

“Thought you hated me?”

“Finish the reason you’re so upset, aside from the obvious. Before I occupy this pretty mouth.” His gaze is on your lips now, you involuntarily lick the lower one, making him moan.

“Jesus christ.” You sigh, and he releases you for a moment, you struggle to focus, to think. “He’s your best friend, though.”

“Yeah I know, but the way he acted around you? I don’t know where that’s coming from. I couldn’t figure out why he’d share you till I saw him with Shoko and he just ignored you. Who could ignore you!? When I saw that I just…”

“Yeah. He was moaning, loud too like he clearly didn’t care, but then he said she was perfect, the most perfect and I just-I just-” You feel a fresh onslaught of tears then, and Satoru scowls down at you.

“You’re so perfect I hate you, remember? Fuck that.” You moan when he yanks your head back, gripping you by the nape of your neck.

“Toru you say that but I don’t know why. I don’t know what you see to make you think it. I’m a bartender that drives a beetle-”

“With eyelashes on it too.” You giggle a bit, breathless in his grasp, but he’s so serious as his fingers are sliding up under his shorts, and you’re getting wet just from that. “Terrible taste in aesthetics aside, you’re so gorgeous it kills me.”

“Satoru…” You whisper, as he’s leaned close, his sweet breath on your lips and you drink it in, his desire, his words.

“You are, goddamn brat. Don’t expect sappy fucking words, don’t expect me to call you a Princess, but I’ll fuck you so good you’ll forget anything he said. Anything he did.”

“Satoru!” You cry out when he finds you, slick and dripping already.

“Did he touch you at all? When I left?” He’s rubbing your clit in little circles, and you moan, shaking your head. “He’s so stupid. When I’m finished with you? There will be nothing left for him. You’ll feel nothing for him anymore.”

His dark words scare you a bit, but your pussy is too wet for you to care, in fact you’re soaking his hand more and more, hands clinging to his bare shoulders, as you ache to kiss him, but he holds just out of reach. His blue eyes stare at you so hungrily you can’t function, the energy between you both so vivid you could touch it, could feel it in every breath.

“I hate you, Satoru.” You whisper, blinking back tears before gasping out at how good his fingers play you, pressing on your little clit.

“Yeah, do you baby?” He huffs out the words.

“If you never looked at me like that, if you never acted like that, I’d have never known Suguru didn’t really want me.” You speak through your tears, breathy as your cheeks tinge pink, and Satoru slides a finger inside of you, his lips parting.

“He’s fucking stupid, how could he not want you? Look at you. Kill me just existing, soaking my hand and making that face?” You cry out when he’s crooking his finger inside you, when the other hand grips your neck, you’re melting in his grip, you crave him so much.

“The things you say fuck me up.” You whine out, then moan again as he hits that spot inside you.

“I haven’t started fucking you up yet, baby.” He slides his hand out and you feel empty, then he’s picking you up like you’re nothing, sitting you up on the high bar then, sliding your shorts down your thighs. You shiver as the cool air hits your overheated cunt and his eyes eat it up, licking his lower lip.

“Toru…” He scowls, gripping your hips tight, fingers pressing into your pelvis now, as he leans his head down, snowy white hair falling over a perfect brow.

“Now I can finally take my fucking time, lick you till you beg for me to stop, but I won’t.” You whine at that, bucking your hips up and he smirks down at you. “Beg for me, for me to give this slutty little pussy what she needs.”

“Please, please… I want your mouth on me.” You beg, and Satoru laughs now, his breath so hot on your sensitive little cunt you scream out, legs shaking just from that, as he pulls your lips apart.

“Make you forget his name, forget he ever touched you.” The possessive words and how wild his eyes are make you lose any sense of anything, you grab at his silky white hair then, as he’s still just breathing on you.

“Then get down there, Satoru. Make me forget.” He growls, then he’s buried himself between your thighs, hungry as he laps up the wetness dripping down your slit, you arch your back, gasping. “Satoru!”

“Slutty little cunt,” he’s whispering against you, nipping at your clit with his teeth, the sensation making your tummy clench, making your entire body overheat, and then he devours you, and it’s nothing like what he did with the threesome, no he’s lapping every inch of you up, shoving his tongue in your entrance, nose bumping your sensitive little clit.

You’re pulsing around the wet muscle inside your walls, and his groan vibrates against you, until you’re cumming all over his face, head smacking back on the counter as you see stars.

“Oh my f-fuck- ah Toru!” He’s lavishing you up, every bit of your cunt now, drinking up everything he makes pour from you, and you can’t handle it, your legs are shaking in his tight grip. “Oh my god! Sensitive…”

“Hey brat, so who is Suguru to you?” Satoru asks, darkly, and you blink in confusion then, as you come down from your high.

“My… I guess my ex now? Ah fuck!” He smacks your pussy then, smirking and shaking his head as you glare. “The fuck?”

“When I’m done you won’t be able to answer.” His words drive you insane, that look on his perfect face, as he pulls back, spreading your lips of your sex wide and the saliva is spit from his mouth onto your pussy.

Satoru’s POV

God just look at you, spread wide on his counter, all flushed from having cum all over his face, and fuck you tasted so good, you’re dripping down his chin. Now he’s watching his spit fall on this perfect cunt of yours, watching it drip down all clear, bubbly and sticky, mixing with the stupid amount of wetness drooling out between these puffy lips of yours.

He watches as it hits that tiny clit, just dripping, and he reaches down to spread it around, smirking as you look down at him, back arched, still in his huge shirt but he sees those nipples poking right out, sees your mouth loll open. He bends down then, spreading you even wider, finger running down and feeling that slick heat, before sinking one inside you, making you cry out again.

“Satoru!” Your name on his lips ignites a fire in him, and he’s so hard it physically hurts, he uses one hand to adjust himself in his boxers as the other hits that spot he’s found, the one that makes you tremble and whine. “Ohmy- Satoru!”

“Like that, little slut? Me fingering you right here?” You gasp when he hits your spot again, crooking his finger just so in your little gummy walls, so tight it’s hard for him to sink two in you, but you’re so wet you suck him in. “Right there, baby?”

“Y-yes. There. Oh my… cumm- cumming, fuck…” You’re gripping the edge of the counter so hard your little knuckles are white, your thighs trembling like crazy as he fucks you with two fingers, and you start soaking his hand down to his wrist, pulsing around them and making him groan.

But he’s not done with you, not by a long shot, not until you’re a writhing mess, not until he has you so sweaty and your hair so messy, not until you forget anyone but he exists. The thought of anyone ever inside of this perfect little pussy makes him want to fuck you until you can’t even remember your own name, much less anyone else’s, not when you’re all he can think of.

So Satoru licks up your sweet wetness, flicking his tongue on your clit and watching you fall apart under his licks, and he groans at how sweet you taste. “Satoru s'fucking good, ngh.”

He loves your slurring words, your hips rocking, he pulls back and adds a third finger, stretching you open and watching with rapt attention as your pussy takes him, so eager, so hungry, as you wince in pain, trying to grab at his wrists, but he smacks your little hand away.

“Too much, Toru… it’s too much ah! Please…”

“Who is Suguru, baby?” He whispers, and your eyes roll back when he fucks you with those three fingers, whining and gripping at nothing.

“My ex, he’s my ex. I’m not with him. Please!” He laughs then, shaking his head, and your glazed over eyes meet his, your hips jerking up as you pour wetness down onto his hand again, dripping on the counter.

“Not good enough, not even close.” He huffs, and then he’s got them all the way inside you.

Satoru watches as you are moaning and whining, and that’s what he loves, the way you sound so desperate. He's eating the vision of you up and burning it in his brain as he stretches you beyond your means with those three fingers, and you start bucking up into his hand, your breaths coming in ragged pants as he fucks you faster, harder, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

“Cum again, brat, I know you can. You’re so easy, aren’t you?” You just whine, mumbling incoherently, and he starts shoving up your shirt, hand pressing on your soft tummy, making more pressure. “Say it.”

“I’m easy, I’m so easy! Mnh!” Fuck you’re sexy, god he can’t even handle those words, that face, the feeling of your walls clenching him. He can’t wait to cum inside of you, the thought has him leaking through his boxers and his pajamas, a wet spot forming as he dreams of slipping inside.

“That’s right, you’re fucking slutty for me, baby. Cum again, let me feel it.” And he bites down on your plush thigh, just enough to leave a mark, and your eyes roll back as you do exactly that, cumming all over his hand again, your cunt contracting around his fingers so tight it’s like a vice.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Satoru !” Your voice is hoarse from screaming, and he loves it, he loves that he’s the one making you feel like this, that he’s the one you’re begging for now. He pulls his fingers out, watching them glisten with your juices, and brings them up to his mouth, licking them clean, watching you watch him do it with a hazy look of desire.

You taste so good. Like honey. He can never get enough now.

And then he’s leaned up, pressing his mouth to yours, brushing back your hair, feeling the sweat beading on your forehead, and he yanks off his shirt you're wearing, revealing those gorgeous tits. “Taste how sweet you are?” You nod, shyly, how can you be shy at this moment he doesn’t know. “I hate how good you taste.”

“Y-you do?” He laughs, harshly, nodding, as he starts sucking on your breasts, pulling you closer to the edge of the counter, and then his hand slides back down, his thumb sliding over your clit again, making you jolt. “Satoru it’s too much.”

“Again.” He orders, and your eyes lock with his in a daze. “You’ll cum again, and again, and again, until it’s only me.”

Satoru presses up on your swollen little clit and you make that little whine from the back of your throat, the sound that entices him to no end, the sound that wrecks him. You’re clinging to him now, little hands pulling at his hair and making him leak that precum more, as he delights in sucking each perky nipple into his mouth, as your back arches.

“Satoru I can’t again. Please.” You whimper once more, and he chuckles, looking up at you.

“Cum one more time and I’ll fuck you, like the pretty whore you are.” Your eyes go wide, your lips parting, and your pretty breasts are heaving right in front of his face, while you drip down his fingers, slippery. “So wet I can’t keep my fingers on your clit, such a slut for me, huh?”

“For you.” Those words wreck him, and when he slams his lips on yours, and you lick yourself off him greedily, he doesn’t know if he can hang on much longer. The heat from your little body, pressed against him, as he flicks his fingers on your clit side to side, until you’re drooling from your lips and your cunt. It’s too much for him.

“For me, you sure? Not lying to me?” You shake your head, screaming out then and clutching his shoulders with your manicured nails, the pink glittery ones that he hates, making him hiss in pain and pleasure.

“N-not lying, Toru! Ngh! Please!” You have tears in your beautiful eyes, fuck he had never even seen that exact color, that’s why you haunt him so, why are you so beautiful as you cum again, panting and shivering in his grasp.

“Good girl.” He murmurs finally, and he sees it, the look on your face, you’re cock drunk on him, dazed and listless. He picks you up, and you eagerly wrap your legs around his bare waist, your hands clinging to him. Your head falls back, and he’s sucking on your delicate throat, so tiny he can’t wait to wrap his big hand around it once more.

“I’ve never felt like this. Ever.” You whisper, and he pulls back to look at you, at the tears running down your long lashes, dripping little trails of black mascara. Those words he could have never thought true.

“I hate you.” He whispers, to make it true, to avoid the truth , but instead of getting upset, you cling to him, lips just a breath away.

“Fuck me like you hate me then.”

Fuck .

Your POV

At that Satoru Gojo is carrying you to his room in long, sure strides, his mouth brutal as it works over yours, his grip so tight you can’t breathe. You are trembling in his hold, as the aftershocks of the nonstop orgasms are still pulsing in your little cunt, sore from how much he’d stretched you out, but fuck you loved it, you wanted even more, you want everything.

Fuck Satoru made you feel so good, even with his harsh words and tone, even with the rough way he’s grabbing you, you want it, you need it. Satoru Gojo consumes every bit of you, as you feel his panting breaths on your lips, the only sign that he’s as lost in this as you, the rest of him showed this insane confidence.

“Want me to fuck you like I hate you?” Satoru murmurs, and you nod eagerly, as he’s slamming you on his stupidly big comfy bed. It’s got four huge posters that you briefly imagine being tied to, before he’s sliding off his pants and you see his pretty, long cock bounce out.

“You’re so pretty.” You murmur, without thinking, and Satoru scowls, gripping you by the hair and making you look up at him.

“You’re so beautiful you haunt me.” At that your mouth is just wide open, but he has you flipped within moments, on your hands and knees on the bed, and he’s pulling at your hair again. “Arch your back.”

You shiver at the command, obeying instantly, and then he’s lined up with your entrance, whining out. “Satoru, please…”

“So desperate.” He’s plunged his cock into you then, to the hilt this time, and you’re screaming out at how deep he hits, his big hands gripping your hips now, your head just falls forward, and you hear his moan behind you.

Your hands dig into his expensive blanket, soft and plush in your stupidly tight grip, and then he starts moving and fuck he moves hard. He’s thrusting hard, his cock dragging along your walls, so thick it’s stretching you beyond your means. You’re gushing as he slams into you, again and again, rougher than you’ve had, rougher than you can handle.

“Fuck you like I hate you, huh?” He huffs, working over you, and then one hand shoves your head into the mattress, muffling your cries, as he bends forward and keeps stroking inside of you, bruising your cervix with each hit, the smacks echo inside Satoru’s room.

“Mnhh…” You just moan into the mattress, it’s hard to breathe between the thrusts that are wrecking your little cunt, as he works on you brutally, but you’re close, you feel it, throbbing around his cock, and he pauses for a moment.

“Fuck it’s like you’re made for me.” You hear him whisper, and then he’s fucking you slower, pressing in so deep he’s inside your cervix, yanking your hair back up and your hair is falling all over your sweaty forehead as he pulls you. You’re helpless in his hold, all you can do is whimper. “You like this, don’t you?”

“Y-yes. S’much I… love it.” He pauses again, breathless and rolling his hips then, making you fall apart. “Cumming, cumming… mnh!” You scream out, shattering around him, gushing down his length, and he groans, hand digging into your hip so hard it’s bruising. You’re cumming so hard you’re shaking violently, unable to catch a breath, it’s like you’re suffocating on him.

“Who is Suguru to you?” You whine as he pushes you down on your tummy now, sprawling prone position on top of you with his long body. “Asked you a - ha - question, fucking brat.”

“ Satoru… I-I can’t…” He groans over you, his breath hot on your neck as he brushes your hair off it, running his tongue along the side as he’s pressing deep inside, and you’re close to falling off the edge of the Earth. So much pleasure you see stars burst behind your eyes, dripping down to his fancy blankets, crumpling as he moves over you.

“Look at me.” You turn your head, your neck sore from earlier, and he cups your chin and you peer into those eyes, bright blue and blown out, his breath on your lips, and you fall…

You’re falling.

How and why?

It’s bad.

Or is his dick that good!?

“Satoru…ah!” You cry out softly as he wraps one arm around to find your clit, so sore and puffy you jerk, causing his cock to hit a spot that feels so good you’re embarrassingly pouring out, cumming again, unable to control anything.

You bite your lower lip as he watches you, so intense, his eyes maddening as he slowly rocks into you, watching every expression on your face. “Answer me, now. Who… is… Suguru to you?” He speaks between thrusts, and your eyes are rolling back in your head. “Ah-ah, look at me.”

He’s blurring right in front as you struggle to focus, to overcome the insane need that he fills you with, his presence is like air. “Wh-what… Satoru I don’t…”

He smirks then, cocky and self assured, like the Satoru you knew. Did you know him then, though?

“Good Girl, that’s what I thought.” He murmurs, and then he’s kissing you, gently now, not fucking you rough, no he’s consuming you with each slow roll of his hips, as his long cock bullies through every barrier.

“S’good, it’s s’good… can’t… think…” Your voice is breathy as you struggle to keep to this existence, but Satoru is pushing you over that edge, as you taste his sweet lips on yours, his tongue swirling with yours, messy, desperate.

“You feel so fucking good. Fuck.” He grunts out those words, releasing your clit to sink two fingers in your mouth, and you’re drooling around them, as his cock’s strokes are harsh, smacking sounds so loud mixed with the squishing of your wetness.

“Ah! Ah oh my god…” You scream out sloppily around his thick fingers, ass arching against his abdomen for even more of the brutal thrusts. They fuck you up so good you truly can’t function, just a whimpering mess under him.

“Who is Suguru?” He huffs again, and lets his fingers slide out of your lips, to wrap around your little throat, taking over you. Your eyes flutter shut, and he squeezes tightly, sucking out your oxygen. “Look at me, with those eyes that torture me.”

You can’t figure his words out, you don’t even know where you are, all you can do is blink stupidly and gasp as he works over you. “I don’t know.”

He moans then, sounding so sexy, hot against your mouth, sweat dripping from his chest onto your back, as he grinds between your thighs. “I’m gonna cum in this perfect pussy, I’m gonna fill you up so full, got me baby?”

You nod weakly, your little hands reaching up, one cupping his face, the prettiest face that holds so much anger, but now how he looks? Like he’s as blissful as you, drunken gaze damn near, and he seems vulnerable for just that moment. His words sink in, what he’s going to do, something you never have, but your cunt merely tightens around him in excitement.

“I want you to, Satoru.” You whisper, his thin white brows sink low over his eyes, long white lashes covering half of those baby blues, as he lightly squeezes your throat, sighing against your mouth.

“You’ve never?” He asks, and you shake your head just a centimeter or two, making him groan. “Good. Good I want to be the first to fill you. And not just once, I’ll keep filling you, till you can’t walk out of this bed.”

His dark words should scare you, but now, you’re starting to build into another climax, though he’s barely moving now, it’s all you, grinding eagerly, helplessly for more of him, fuck you can’t get enough of him. He’s squeezing your throat ever so gently, but putting more and more pressure, until you feel like you’re floating, now you feel him throbbing, thickening so deep.

“Fill me up, please . Toru… I want it.” He groans, slamming his lips on yours, then he’s rolling his hips, shuddering behind you, crying out all his pleasure into your lips, you drink it greedily, crying out as he presses in so deep you can’t remember where he ends and you begin, losing more breath as he overtakes you.

“Need you to take it all, like a good little slut. Just for me.” You just whine, and now hot white puffy ropes of Satoru’s cum are filling your eager hole, and you scream out, choking nearly as he groans, gripping you so tight as he’s drooling into your mouth. “Mmm… f-fuck…”

He’s stuttering as he groans, as he keeps filling you, and you’re cumming so hard you’re shaking, his cum and yours just gushing down his cock, down your thighs, sticky and messy, and he’s still pumping. Your head falls to the side, against Satoru’s forehead, and he’s crying out in your ear, hand releasing your throat just to grip your hair, pushing his cum deeper inside you.

“S-Satoru… Satoru…” You’re whining, tears streaming down your cheeks, and he whimpers right with you, trembling arms around you, his breath on your ear, tickling it, every sense is heightened.

“Why do you have to feel so perfect?” He grunts the words, and you just pathetically whine, you’re incapable of anything else. “Smell so good, taste so good, look so good… now I feel this .” He thrusts again, and you’re so oversensitive you’re sobbing now, so sore as he’s still hard and thick in you.

“It’s too much. It’s all too much.” You sob out the words, and he chuckles a bit, husky as he turns your face to meet his, gripping your cheeks.

“You’re pushing it all out, baby. That won’t do.” You tense, and he’s off you then, flipping you on your back and looming over you, eyes locked on yours. “I need you to take it all, remember?”

“I did… what-ah! Fuck, too much no!” You’re squirming as he’s shoving his cum that’s slid out of you back in, grinning deviously as he watches you fall apart. “Too sensitive, too-”

“No, baby you can take it like a perfect little slut for me. Can’t you?” He cooes those words, shoving his long fingers in your sore little cunt again, and you can’t stop the tears, breasts heaving and drawing his attention. He begins sucking on them, leaving red marks shimmering with his saliva, messy kisses everywhere as he shoves more inside you.

Your fingernails grip his shoulders, hips bucking under his touch. “Satoru I can’t even fucking breathe. Please.”

“Oh baby I’m just getting started with you.”

You cry out in pain as he shoves even more, and it’s just pouring down his long fingers with the pressure in your tummy as you’re just dripping out. You blink a bit, sputtering stupidly, as he finally lets your cunt go and slips those fingers into his own mouth, moaning.

Fuck he’s hot.

“Satoru…”

“We taste perfect together. I fucking knew we would.” He’s on top of you, his hot, hard chest drenched in sweat, his big hands cupping your face, taking you over. “Wanna taste us baby?”

You nod, weakly and he chuckles. “Y-yes. I want to.”

“Hmm…” He takes more of both of you, shoving it in his mouth, then he’s pressing his other fingers on your lips. “Open.”

You do as he says, then he’s spitting in your mouth, a mix of your wetness, his cum and saliva, and you eagerly let him, though this is far beyond anything you’ve done. This is insane shit you see in porn right? But no, Satoru Gojo is spitting in your mouth, once, twice, three times, grinning then down at you.

“Swallow. Now.” You eagerly do as he bids, letting the salty liquid slips down your throat, and he moans, you feel him rock hard on your inner thigh again, as his pretty blue eyes are so bright it hurts. “Open up, lemme see.” You do as he says again, fuck any command Satoru Gojo made right now you’d do. “Good girl.”

“Holy fuck.” He chuckles, and you yank him down, slamming your lips up to his, and his laugh stops, he’s groaning in your mouth, hands sliding up your body slowly, squeezing every curve. “What even is this? Is this normal for you?” You whisper then, leaning back, and his lips thin into a line.

“No, it’s not. I need you. Again.” He’s yanking your thighs apart, and you shake your head nervously. “Aw, sore baby?”

“Yes I’m sore! You’re huge, and I came too much!” He’s grinning, and you roll your eyes then. “You sure love my pussy for hating me.”

“I hate how much I love it. How much I need it. If I never tasted it, if I never knew… I could have pictured it wasn’t this good. But fuck you for it.” You scowl now, and he’s grinning even wider at it. “You’re gorgeous angry. Hate how much I love that too.”

“I hate how much your dick fucks my mind up. How much you fuck my mind up.” He’s laughing again, lips on yours, smacking kisses as he pulls your hips down, and he’s pressing against you again. You whine out in pain. “Psycho.”

“Oh baby you have no idea.” He’s back inside you, and you scream out, in a mix of pleasure and pain, gripping him tight on his strong arms as he looms over you, his eyes fluttering shut in pleasure. “Oh my fuck… it’s always so perfect.”

“Satoru, so so sore… please go easy.” You whisper, breathless, and you imagine he’d laugh, fuck you harder… but his eyes lock, and he leans down, brushing your messy hair back and stroking your cheek.

“I won’t hurt you.” His words carry far too much weight, and it’s like you see a different side of him suddenly, you nervously bite your lip and hiss as he slides out and in your little cunt. “I need more of you. More.”

“Then take it.” He groans and slams his lips down on you, down your face, down your neck, his grip and kisses so hard as his cock gently rocks inside you, not trying to hurt you, but your walls are so wrecked it still stings. But it’s so good , the burn, the pressure, the stretch, that you’re teetering off the fucking edge again. “Oh my god, you feel so… fuck so good in me, Toru.”

“Hate that name from your perfect lips.” He hisses those words, kissing your lips again to shut you up, rolling his hips up and grinding the leaking tip against your g spot, and you start spasming, screaming out as the pressure explodes, and you cum again, getting weak now, clinging to him. “Can’t take it, can you? Did he not fuck you good enough, baby?”

“Wh-who? What? Huh- ah! Toru!” He’s smiling against your lips now, perfect full lips curling up on the sides, resting his forehead on yours as he steadily pumps, so easy with you.

“Gonna fill this pretty pussy again. You’ll be dripping me out for days, won’t you baby?” Your eyes roll back, as your hips arch off the bed and he’s pressing in, then he does something… so intimate, entwining his hands in yours, fingers interlocking. You’re trembling as he raises them above your head.

You look up at him, chest heaving with the effort it takes to breathe anymore, as his scent fills your nostrils, mixed with the sex in the room of both of your bodies, and you’re soaking him with each easy push inside you. He inhales, and he has no right to be so attractive, no right to make you feel so much, no right to hold your goddamn hands like he loves you.

He hates you.

“Look at you.” You bite your lip, eyelashes lowering over your eyes, glazed over from being fucked so good. “You’re too pretty. It makes me so fucking mad.”

“Why? Why do you say shit like this? Ah!” He presses in, hands squeezing yours, glittering blue eyes eating up your every feature as he moans.

“Because it’s true. I need you to be mine. Do you fucking get it?” He’s let one hand go, the other cupping your cheek, thumb under your chin and pressing in so deep you’re screaming, pulsing around him, pressure in your tummy so intense it’s difficult to form a word or a thought.

“Yours? You don’t want that.” He scoffs, scowling down and shoving in so deep he’s in your damn stomach, fuck you feel Satoru in your throat, choking you up, tears back in your eyes as it’s too overwhelming.

“You don’t know what I want, fucking brat.” Your eyes go wide, and he glares down at you then. “You don’t know how you kill me.”

“I don’t mean to. Mnh Toru! Fuck it’s too much.”

“No, you do it by existing. You’re made to ruin me.” You’re shaking your head, so confused by him, but fuck if those words and that look don’t make you fall deeper into the abyss that is Satoru Gojo.

“That’s you for me. Ruin me though. I w-want you to.” He growls nearly, slamming his lips down and going hard for just a minute, ripping through your already wrecked cunt, and you’re screaming, head lolling to the side and he’s biting your neck with those sharp teeth, surely bruising you.

“Baby I haven’t ruined you like you have me. But I will. Beg for it, for me to fill you up. Breed this pussy.” His words make you shudder, cumming hard and trying to cling to him, to keep tethered to earth, but everything is slipping.

“Pl-ease, Toru, please. Cum in me.” He’s hoarsely grunting, drips of his sweat from his brow landing on your lips, as he works over you, hungry, his cock thickening impossibly again.

“Cum with me, be a good girl yeah?” You nod eagerly, and he picks up the pace, hurting your sore little cunt in the worst way, your thighs squeezing his hips tightly, until you feel him again. “F-fuck… oh my god!”

He’s whimpering in your ear as he clings to you, pumping you so full you can’t take it, your nails digging in hard, marring his perfect skin as you’re pulsing all around him and he’s hot inside you. Fuck he cums more than last time some how, and you feel so rubbed raw as the heat spreads, as it drips all down your lips and down his shaft, and he pumps slow, looking down at you.

“You cryin’?” He whispers, and you just nod, as he brushes those tears, kissing you so passionately you’ve felt nothing like it in your life. You sob against his lips, and he sips up your salty tears with every kiss, more desperate than the last, his hands so tight on your face it hurts. “Who’s Suguru?”

You blink at that, taking a trembling breath, choking on your sobs, feeling his hunger, his madness, and it’s taking you over. Wrecking your mind, your heart, your very soul is ripped apart and bare under him. He’s watching carefully, studying you with those dilated eyes, and you raise your own hands, cupping his face.

“No one.” He moans at your answer, pulling you up against his body, squeezing you so tight you’re breathless, Satoru is your breath.

“That’s right, baby. It’s all me, isn’t it?” You nod weakly, and he exhales, kissing you over and over, sliding out of you, and it’s so messy, all the cum he’d pumped in you, you wince at the pain you feel pulsing in you.

“It’s nothing but you.” His eyes water then for a moment, making them brilliant like sapphires, but they were prettier than any gem could be.

“Now you have a taste of what I’ve gone through since we met.” You shake your head in confusion.

“You can have anyone.”

“I sure can. But it’s you who haunts me. Every goddamn minute.” You try to understand him but it’s difficult to feel so desired, so needed. And by Satoru Gojo of all people. Just earlier today Suguru was holding you, but he seems so distant, it’s like you can’t remember anything but Satoru now.

What this man does.

He looks down at your cunt as he sits back on his knees, smirking and touching your slit, making you suck in a breath. “Satoru, it really hurts.”

“I see it, all red and swollen. Beat up. Poor little pussy.” He bends down, kissing it with a loud smack, and laughing as your hips jerk, your legs still shaking violently.

“Fuck is this where you kick me out? Because you’re gonna have to carry me out. I’m fucked.” He smirks, looking down at you, the mess he’d made.

“We’ll go clean you up, then you can stay here and get cuddles. From me. Is that what you want though?”

“You’d cuddle me, Satoru Gojo?”

“Why not. I’m the best at it.”

“But you hate me.” He smiles, easing you up, your entire body is boneless and you feel like fainting damn near. He takes in every bite mark, every hickey, every place he’d grabbed that’s bright red, your tears down your sticky cheeks.

“The thought of you in my arms kills me.” You gasp, and he’s turned away then, helping you up on wobbly legs. “Let’s clean up. Shower?”

“I’ll just sit there, I’m wrecked.” He snorts, then bends down, scooping you up in his big arms.

“You’re such a prissy brat. Do I gotta carry you everywhere?” You’re blushing, being in his arms like this? His hands under your thighs as the other holds you right under your breasts?

Fuck.

You’d let this man carry you to hell. What even was this man?

Inhuman level fuck!?

You can’t form a coherent thought aside from your throbbing cunt, so sore you will feel it for days, and the beautiful man holding you carefully, like he cared, but he didn’t and he couldn’t. Was this a game to him, were you a pawn in something? Or did he truly want you that much? There’s no way, right?

Satoru’s POV

Satoru carries you like the delicate little doll you are, even as he complains he relishes holding you so close. Your arm is around his neck, your other hand pressed on his chest, over his heart, where it pounds for you. He carries you to his huge bathroom, watching your face, but you don’t even look at the marble tiles and the gorgeous fixtures, no you look at him .

Your eyes are stuck on his face, wide, tears dried on your cheeks, fuck you look beautiful crying, crying for him . You’re so full of him, aren’t you? You can’t even focus on anything, with your glazed over eyes, with your reddened lips, bit and sucked by him. Your perfect breasts are covered in red spots, as they gently heave up and down with your shaky breaths.

Fuck now that he’s cum in you, he can’t ever let you go.

How could he even let you leave, let you go to work, when now he wants to keep you here forever, he wants to keep cumming in you, so much you’ll get pregnant with his babies. Fuck the thought of that gets him hard again, and even he is sore, cumming so much for you, inside you, your walls having sucked every greedy drop, as your eyes had rolled back in your head.

Seeing you cum was so fucking beautiful it punched him in the gut, but to cum with you!? To taste how good your arousal was mixed with him? And for you to have just swallowed too… it was like anything he said, you did without hesitation, cock drunk off him and dazed. Could you truly feel that way for him too?

No, there was no way you were as obsessed as him.

Satoru remembers the day he met you as he sits you up on his sink, turning to run the hot shower, watching the waterfall as it heats up, starting to steam up the bathroom. You patiently wait, he watches your shaky hands on your lap, as you’re completely naked for him, as if you’re nervous, crossing your arms just a little bit, making him yank them down.

“Don’t ever hide your body from me.” He speaks through gritted teeth, and you shyly look down, nodding, letting him brush your hair back. It’s messy and damn from all of your exertions. “I dreamed of your body.”

“Why, Satoru? I’m still confused.” Your voice is shaky and soft, like it took effort for you to speak.

“Why? What a stupid fucking question.” He runs his hands over every perfect curve of you, watching your skin trail in goosebumps, watching your every sense come alive under his touch.

“Thank you, Satoru.” You murmur, sliding you little hands up his chest, then down his abdomen, fuck it feels so good he trembles. You make him whimper, tremble, shake… the fuck did you do to him!?

“Thanks for what?”

Your eyes land back at his, your lashes spiky from crying, your cheeks are flushed, a blush decorating even your little nose. “Thank you for tonight.”

He should be thanking you, fuck you make no sense.

“For cumming in you?”

Now you’re bright red, looking away again. You always get so shy over nothing, he notices, tilting your chin back up, and he sees something in your gaze that tears his fucking chest out. How could you feel the same, he’s an idiot, there is no way… is it because you came so much? Is it an afterglow?

“No, thank you for making me feel beautiful. Special.” He frowns then, because he has not even begun to worship your body.

“You’re a beautiful, annoying fucking brat. Who I still hate.”

You smile a bit. “You hate me for existing, huh.”

“Sure fucking do. C’mon, let’s clean up.” He drags you to the tiled shower, the water scalding hot, pulling you under the spray, watching rivulets drip down your perfect body, the one you always try to hide, the one he’ll never let you feel insecure about again if he has a say. “I said don’t hide.”

“S-sorry, Satoru.” You stand taller, shoulders back, making your tits all perky and making him stupid.

“Fuck you.” You blink, rightfully confused, and he sighs, rolling his eyes. “Fuck you for being so pretty.”

You giggle a bit then, and your smile? Fuck it makes him ache. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, it will crush him, if you don’t end up being his. He’s never had you like this, had every part of you, and now his hands grip your arms, making your laugh sober a bit, as that faded look of desire hits your pretty face.

“Am I funny to you?” You shake your head, stepping closer, against Satoru’s body, so small and soft and perfect.

“I just really don’t get you. You're stupidly pretty. Why do you find me…”

“That insecurity shit will get this pussy wrecked again. I’ll fuck you till you forget you have an insecurity. Got me?” Your lips part, and you look confused, brows drawing together.

“It’s like you care about me, Satoru.”

He scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Just annoying is all.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Stop smirking brat. Let me wash you.” His hands suds up, and he caresses every bit of your silky smooth skin, relishing in every gasp, every whine, every time your eyes flutter shut. Every time that head falls back.

“Fuck this feels good.” You murmur, as he’s washing your lucious hair, piling it up and then getting the shower head to rinse the suds out. God this is what he never dreamed of, pampering you, just for a moment.

You deserve everything.

Would you truly be his though?

Soon you all are drying up, and you’re in his clothes from earlier, the sunlight streaming in, birds tweeting loud and annoying, the sound of cars passing by all in the distance. You’re glowing, a small smile on your gorgeous face, as you dry your hair on a fluffy white towel, and Satoru’s heart thuds in his chest, words stuck in his throat at how the sun rising illuminates your skin.

You’re so beautiful.

Not a speck of that makeup you always wear, your hair is drying all stringy and wavy, not straightened like he notices you do. You always make sure you look perfect, but how perfect are you like this? And how can he tell you, how can he open up, when he’s terrified.

“You look good without makeup.” Fuck, that’s all Satoru can manage, huh, but you smile softly, looking down a bit.

“Oh, thank you. I don’t usually go without any.”

“Well you don’t need it.” He’s being too nice. “You do it stupidly anyway, too much pink shit.”

You roll your eyes, laughing. “Uh huh. I do like blush.”

“Welp you’re always bright red around me.”

“And will I be around you?” You both go silent, and Satoru feels like someone punched him in his stomach, until you walk up to him, taking him by the hands. “Or now that you got what you wanted will you tell me to fuck off.”

“What!? You’re so stupid.” He glares down at you, and you glare back, and fuck if you angry didn’t make him hard.

He’s always hard around you.

“Well I mean you hate me, where does this go?”

He doesn’t know what to say. How does Satoru tell you he’s wanted you since the moment he walked into that bar you worked at, and you hadn’t even seen him, no you were working. But he had watched you, sitting back at a table, terrified of the insane feeling he had, only to leave and tell Suguru.

Then guess who Suguru comes in with just a couple of weeks later?

You.

And he had to act like it was fine. Because he’d been too scared to come up to you, and why? Satoru could pull any woman, he’d had countless models, actresses, wealthy women, beautiful women. But you outshined any woman, not just your gorgeous looks, everything about you. And now he has a chance, but he’s scared again, he hates you making him feel this way.

“I’m not just having this be one night. No fucking way, brat. Think you’re getting off easy huh?” You bite that lower lip, and he pulls it out of your teeth’s grip with a thumb, frowning down at you. “Stop eating your lips off. How can I kiss them?”

“Oh Satoru… fuck.” You’re tearing up again, and he sighs.

“Crybaby.”

“Shut it. You say sweet things then hide them being a dick . You scared of something?”

You know him so well how?

But he glares.

“Nah, just saying. You’re not getting off so easy. Well… you do get off easy, don’t you baby?” He cooes, all condescending as he pulls you to him, but you melt at his words, melt at everything he says.

“You want to do this again? Are you sure? What about…”

“Don’t bring it up. And want isn’t the word. I need this again.”

“Satoru…”

“Shut up and come to bed. It’s morning, you’ve kept me up all goddamn night and I need some sleep.” He drags you now, and soon he’s spooning you, and fuck you feel so right in his arms.

He hates that you were in Suguru’s arms.

He hates that Suguru is his best friend and right now he hates him. He hates everything about you.

“This is so nice, ugh.” You whisper, sinking into his embrace, your ass pressed back against his lap, as he inhales the sweet scent of your skin from the shower, you’re so warm against him. “I run hot, so you know.”

“Well I get cold, so fuck it.” You giggle, fuck he loves that sound, but when you look back he’s glaring. He can’t let you know how stupidly happy you make him by just breathing near him. “What?”

“Nothing. You feel comfy, Satoru.” You brush his drying hair back, and he damn near purrs, nothing feels better than your fingers against his scalp.

“Comfy huh?” You just nod, smiling softly, and you lean up a bit.

“Is it cool to kiss outside of sex? Or is that all this is.” Satoru’s heart is pounding, his tips of his ears red as he burns up at that.

“Is that all you want? Me to fuck you stupid.”

“No, it’s not all I want. But if it’s all it is, I’ll take it.” He frowns at you then, and you look down, lashes casting shadows on perfect cheeks, over the dark circles under your eyes.

“You’ll take just getting fucked by me, really?”

“Yeah.”

It’s silent for a moment.

“Well that’s not all I want from you.” Your mouth opens, and he just stares at you, as he holds your body close, feeling the heat warm through him. “You can kiss me if you want.”

You lean up and gently brush his lips with yours, god you’re so sweet, and it’s the first time where it wasn’t some prelude to sex. It was just a kiss, and Satoru had never felt anything like it, the warmth spreading through his body as your soft lips work over his, in little pecks, tongue swiping on his lower lip. It’s like you’re ruining him with every sigh you make, every rock of your body.

“You’re a good kisser, Satoru Gojo.” You murmur, and he smirks.

“Of course I am, brat.” You roll your eyes, sighing, and he wishes he could say more, but you’re right, he’s scared.

So scared.

Is this just a dream? One of many?

“Good morning I guess. It’s not night huh.” You turn away, resting your head on the pillow, and his arm wraps your waist, under your breast, a hand gripping one, feeling the soft weight in his hand. You moan slightly, and he has to hold back his own, focusing on trying not to fuck you again.

Because he wants to hold you.

“You deserved cuddles tonight.” He murmurs, and feels you tremble, feels a couple hot tears fall onto his hand.

“I got them. Even better ones.” He can’t stop the stupid smile on his face, he’s so glad you can’t see it. He just clears his throat.

“Going to sleep, shut up now.” You just snuggle against him more, and Satoru Gojo finally gets something he never thought.

You in his arms.

Your round ass on his cock, your tit in his hand, but he’s more focused on your even breathing, on the rise and fall of your delicate shoulders, of how sweet your smell is. How warm you are. Fuck you kill him.

How can he hate you now?

***

Your POV

The door bangs loudly, and you wake up in Satoru’s arms with a jump, he’s wrapped his long arms and legs all around you, his head on yours, and he groans as he hears it, the beating on his door. You turn to look at him, and both of you just know, when his eyes meet yours, and when his lips part, and he sighs.

“One more kiss before the shitshow.” He murmurs, and you eagerly lean up, your heart racing, as his mouth descends, as the door is banging off its damn hinges, and you hear shouting.

“Satoru let me talk to him. He won’t be as mad.” You murmur, but he smirks, shaking his head, as you brush that white mop of hair back.

“Nah, let him be. I know whose cum is dripping out of this cunt.” He winks, and your mouth is wide open, then he’s hopping up. “Yeah yeah, I’m coming.”

You shake as you sit up then, as you realize it’s all gonna crash down, and you pad out barefooted to the living room. Suguru is there, furious and shaking, his hair drawn up in a bun but he looks exhausted. He’s got Satoru in a fierce grip by his throat, and Satoru is just grinning at him.

“What’s up best buddy?” Suguru glares at his tone.

“Why is my girlfriend’s car out front!?” He demands, through gritted teeth, and you walk up then, clearing your throat.

“I’m not your girlfriend.” He glares, letting Satoru go and striding up to you, making you shrink back a bit at his clear anger, his eyes have gone damn near black with it.

“You sure the fuck are, even if you clearly came to get revenge.” You scoff at that, shaking your head as his gaze takes you in.

“It’s not revenge. It’s fucked, I know, I shouldn’t have come here, but we are not together anymore. I ended it.”

“You can’t do that. And you know I’ll forgive this, I know I hurt you, but don’t just end it like this.” He grabs your shoulders so tight you wince. “Have your fun?”

“I had lots of fun.” He scowls, baring his teeth in irritation, and Satoru’s cackling behind him. “I’m not with you anymore. You made your choice.”

“No you ran away into Satoru’s arms just to hurt me.”

“You’re gaslighting her, Sugu, stop.” Suguru turns around, seething, you can feel how mad he is, and Satoru is just grinning like a kid in a candy store.

“This has shit to do with you. Aside from you manipulating her.”

“Me? That’s rich. You’ve been doing that just fine since you met her.” Satoru dodges a hit, as Suguru’s on him in a minute, and he laughs again. “Aww buddy, are we really gonna fight over her?”

“She’s certainly not yours.” Suguru decks him then, and you gasp in horror, as you watch his big fist connect, and Satoru’s lip is bleeding, but he’s grinning.

“I mean I came in her twice though, ya sure?”

Oh shit.

Chapter 5

ao3 link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58179796/chapters/148935853

[megamindsecretlair]

I See Red

Pairing: Black Noir x Black!Fem!reader/plus size reader

Warnings: 18+ only. MINORS DNI. You are in charge of your own reading experience. Primal dom Black Noir, Dark elements. Cursing, PIV, SMUT, fingering (fem receiving), bratty reader. Black Noir and reader is aroused by hunting/being hunted. Sorry if I missed others. No spoilers for Season 4.

Summary: You filled in for your friend, working as a server during a party featuring Vought leadership and Supes. All night, you've been playing with Black Noir. Who's hunting who when you lure him out into the garden maze? 

AO3 Link

Word count: 2,664k

A/N: WHEW, sometimes when the feral hounds get to howling, I must answer that call. My fam was in rare form tonight so I'll take it as my sign to chill out lol. Toss a coin to your blogger by leaving a comment, reblog, or unhinged ask.

Taglist: @chaos-4baby @00aijia00 @amethyst09 @ciaqui @we-outsiiiide @browngirldominion @iv0rysoap @thecookiebratz @harmshake @judymfmoody @multiversefanfics @tvchi @twocentuar @umber-cinders @planetblaque

God, your feet hurt. You had been working the party all night, working hard to keep Supe’s drowning in liquor and drugs and the Vought leadership blissfully in lust chasing after them. This was your last fucking party. Your friend could keep this gig. You didn’t need money that badly.

You’ll miss exploring rich mansions, though. This was the closest you’d ever get to knowing how the other half lived. They took all of this acreage for granted. It was an everyday sight to them. They looked at the lush gardens and intricate pathways and saw the money they hemorrhaged trying to keep it afloat. To impress other rich pricks who had too much money and time on their hands. You’d love to have their problems. 

You snagged a glass of champagne from the kitchen, intending to take your break out in the gardens in the back of the mansion. The lighting was softer out here, muted in such a way to give it a hazy, dreamlike look. 

The gardens out here boasted rich purples, bright pinks, and summery oranges. There were still some people out here, giggling and glasses clinking somewhere in the distance. The air was chilly, near frigid, but felt amazing on your overheated skin. 

The soft, shimmery cherry red dress you wore tickled your thick thighs as you took off your heels and padded down the stone steps towards the maze. You discarded your empty glass on the pillar at the bottom of the steps. The maze had instantly grabbed your attention as you received the “don’t fuck up” talk from the manager, Elliot. He was an ass, thought himself more important than God, but all you did was tune him out as you looked towards the maze.

You took the last step and then hopped quickly onto the grassy knoll, the ground too cold for your aching feet. You sighed as your toes squished in the grass, a light mist making your feet wet. But that was okay. The dew added to the atmosphere and if you closed your eyes, you’d swear that you stepped into another world.

The maze loomed above you, hedges taller than ten feet. Perhaps bigger. You looked behind you to check for anyone nearby. Your eyes snagged on Black Noir standing outside the doors you just exited. 

Your heart skipped a beat, drinking him in. He was so mysterious. But with an obvious, dangerous swagger like he could snap your neck in half and then carry about his day like it didn’t faze him. All night, you felt like he was watching you. All night, you dodged from room to room just to see what he’d do.

He’d stalk from room to room right after you. Sometimes you let him catch you. He’d sidle up next to you and tilt his head, never saying anything. It was his whole thing. But you wondered what his voice sounded like. Or what he looked like. He could be horrendous underneath the stretch of black across his face. 

No one with that much presence could be ugly right? You blamed your mask kink as you waited for Black Noir to zero in on you before taking off into the maze. You turned and turned, scurrying down pathways whether they lead somewhere or not. You weren’t sure how big the maze was, but that made it more exciting.

Clouds of breath escaped you as your imagination took off. You knew Black Noir was behind you somewhere. When would he catch you? What would you let him do if he did? 

You ducked down a few more pathways, nothing but the stars and moon to guide you overhead. This was nuts. This was one of the wildest things you’d ever done. But when would you ever get the chance to do this? Since this was the last party you covered for your friend, you intended to go out with a bang. 

You giggled to yourself at your wild thoughts before covering your mouth with your hand. This was a supe you were up against. You weren’t quite sure about his powers and that only added to the thrill. 

Did your red dress give you away? A twig snapped behind you and you whirled around, expecting to see Black Noir. There was nothing. Nothing but hedges surrounding you. The light hoot of an owl. A breeze ruffled your flyaway hairs, a sheen of sweat settling between your breasts and on the back of your legs. 

A rustling noise made you duck down a nearby pathway, spurned to fleeing at the prospect of being hunted by Black Noir. He was usually quiet as a church mouse. Were these sounds due to natural critters in the maze? Or was Black Noir playing with you? 

Your thighs tingled and your pussy throbbed. You thought you took enough turns, you were completely lost. You weren’t sure how he could find you in this. You controlled your breathing, stepped quietly, and you kept your eyes pricked for any sign of movement. 

You turned down one final path that led to the middle of the maze. Set in a wide square, the middle had a few benches and a fountain. There was a statue in the middle of the fountain, a young naked maiden pouring water from a giant pot in her hands. Her hair flowed down the middle of her back, inlaid with stone flowers. 

Shit like this was wasted on the rich. You could spend eternity here just cataloging all of the details on the statue. Was it Greek inspired? You stepped closer, momentarily forgetting that you were trying to entice Black Noir. 

Remembering that, you inched closer to the entrance. You looked both ways and then turned to the fountain. The water trickled and the breeze turned biting. 

You sighed. Maybe he wasn’t interested. Maybe he was tired of the chase. Maybe you played hard to get for one minute too long and Black Noir found someone more willing. You pouted and gave one final look at the fountain.

The cool smell of leather wafted to your nose as a gloved hand clamped down over your mouth. You tried screaming, but it was muffled by his hand. You struggled, fighting, clawing to get free but the solid mountain behind you was unforgiving. 

You looked up and back, into the visor of Black Noir. You still struggled, more excited than scared this time. Black Noir wrapped a large arm around your middle and yanked you from the ground. Your feet kicked, trying to connect with his legs but he was an expert. He held you far enough away where you couldn’t touch him.

Black Noir suddenly let you go. You dropped to your feet with a huff before turning around and backing away from him. Black Noir tilted his head and stalked forward. 

“Found me,” you said and smiled, holding up a hand to ward him off. 

Black Noir nodded.

“I was hoping you would,” you said. You felt silly, like you were talking to yourself. But Black Noir tilted his head again, like he was questioning your statement. You bit your lip, not answering him. 

You really wanted to hear his voice. But then again, half the fun would be gone. Once you knew who was underneath, it’d ruin the mystery and the intrigue. You backed away all the way to the fountain. The edge of the fountain hit the back of your thighs and you stopped. No more room. 

Not unless you wanted to try running around him. You looked past him and Black Noir stepped into your line of sight. You giggled. “Not gonna let me get away again?” You asked.

Black Noir shook his head. 

“How will you get me to stay?” You asked.

Black Noir cracked his neck, rolling it, before stepping to the side in a wide stance, somehow making himself look bigger. More intimidating. Your heartbeat was loud in your ears, thumping harshly in your veins. 

You feinted to the left and Black Noir jerked to the side. You giggled, doing the same thing on your right and Black Noir cut off your escape. You grinned as you pretended to run to the right, turning at the last minute, and dodging Noir’s outstretched hands. You did it! You were free!

That feeling was short-lived as Noir scooped you up by your middle, lifting you and walking backwards until you were right back where you started. He dropped you at the edge of the fountain, grabbing a fistful of hair and yanked you back.

The moan escaped you way too fast. You wanted to be coy. Wanted to drag this out and be a smoking hot target. Instead, you were just too damn needy. 

Noir put his face close to yours. Not a word. He nudged your exposed neck with his nose while his free hand ghosted across your chest. You stuck your boobs out, wanting him to do more than this. 

He ignored you, moving his hand to grab a handful of your tummy and squeeze. You moaned again, rubbing your backside against his front. 

Noir moved his hand to lift up your dress, cupping your mound and squeezing. “Fuck!” You moaned out. No mercy. He squeezed to the point of pain, savoring your cries, before rubbing your pussy over your panties. 

“More, more, please,” you cried out. 

Noir pushed your panties down your legs, only giving you enough slack on your hair to let you kick them off. Your skin was on fire. Blood boiling. Pussy throbbing. 

Noir pushed you forward and the palms of your hands stung from the rough stone of the fountain. Your breaths came out in shuddering waves as you were bent over the railing. Noir kept his hold on your hair while you heard his zipper ripping through the night air. 

Noir breathed harshly. A sound! It should not thrill you this much to get a hint of a sound out of him, but fuck. This was going to fuel your fantasies for months. Possibly even years. 

Noir gasped as he removed his glove. You couldn’t see his hand. It was too dark. But you did feel as he moved his fingers through your dripping folds. You moaned, legs giving out. Noir pulled your hair until you stood up straighter and you cried out. 

He wasn’t pulling hard enough to do any real damage. Just a little sting. Just enough force to show you that he was in control. 

Noir continued to play with your pussy, rubbing his fingers around your clit and inside your entrance. You leaked all over him, creating a neat little river that began to leak down your legs. 

Noir pulled your hair. “Oh god, feels so good. So good. So damn good,” you chattered, not sure what you were saying and not truly giving a fuck. This was the most fun you’d ever had during sex. You wished that you could freeze this moment. Or expand it, stretch time as long as you need to in order to experience this for as long as possible. 

You were racing towards an orgasm in no time, screaming into the night like a wild banshee. Who cared who was around at the moment? They were all getting their rocks off, it was only fitting that you did as well. 

Noir continued to finger you, continued pumping his long, thick fingers inside and drawing out another orgasm. 

“Please, please,” you whimpered, not sure what you were begging for. Each orgasm was too quick, too short. Not enough, not nearly enough. You rubbed onto Noir like a purring cat, rubbed your ass against his armor clad groin. 

Another harsh gasp from him. He pushed you forward until you were fully bent over the fountain. He grabbed your hip and pulled you against him. He worked his pants down low enough, slapping a big dick against your wet pussy.

The wet slapping sounds were loud. You had so much slick dripping out of you. He rubbed his dick back and forth, getting the tip wet with your juices. “Fuck me, fuck me,” you begged. Enough with the teasing. You felt ready to jump out of your skin. You were needy. And feral. 

Noir’s hold on your hair tightened as he slapped your ass hard enough to make you hiss with pain. You shook with raw need, pussy clenching around open air. He smacked you again for good measure and you moaned, sticking your ass out.

“I’m sorry, I’ll behave,” you whimpered.

Noir continued with coating his dick in your juices before finally breaching your entrance. He stopped short of entering you fully, waiting. For what you weren’t sure. You pushed against him with a deep groan, pushed your ass backwards in an attempt to slip him inside. 

It wasn’t until you stopped, until you grew still enough, that Noir slammed inside in one savage thrust. “Oh god!” You screamed, legs shaking on his dick. He was so big, a delicious stretch spearing you. 

He drew back until just the tip was inside and then slammed back in. He continued this savage push and pull, driving you insane. You couldn’t pay attention to the rhythm he tried to set. It only felt like not enough. 

You tried to slam him back faster, trying to get that lethal recoil going. Noir stopped and yanked your head back far enough to earn him a cry. You bit your lip and looked at him with a sweet smile. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll behave,” you said. 

Noir hovered over your back, using his size to cage you in. He nudged your neck with his nose, shuddering breaths quiet in your ear. You moaned as he slid back in, increasing his strokes, hitting a spot deep inside.

“Don’t stop! Don’t stop! That’s my spot! Right there!” You moaned and cried. He hit a spot so deep you started to see stars. 

Noir obliged you, hitting that spot over and over until you were an incoherent mess, dribbling, and mumbling as a powerful orgasm ripped through you. The edges of your vision turned blurry, as you surrendered to the ecstasy. 

As you came down, Noir’s hold didn’t lessen as he snapped his hips against yours. Soft, panting grunts in your ear that made your pussy clench onto him tighter, hold him in deeper. He let out a muffled groan and finally spilled himself inside you.

His hot, pulsing cum squelched as it mixed with your own essence. He continued snapping his hips like he couldn’t help it. Like he couldn’t stop. You gripped onto his warm thigh, throwing that ass right back on him so you could milk him for every drop. 

Your panting breaths were louder than his as he softened. He pulled out and adjusted himself. You remained faced forward to allow him time to zip himself back up. When you heard the zipper go back up, you dared a glance behind you.

He was right back to the stoic, monolith of a man as he stared in your direction. “Fuck, that was amazing,” you giggled, feeling drunk just off the strength of his fucking. You had enough moonlight to spot your red lace panties on the ground.

Noir was faster, snatching it before your fingers could close around the cloth. You grinned at Noir as he put a finger against his mask and tucked your panties into his pocket. 

“You really gonna leave me here like this?” You asked. 

Noir nodded slowly. “Asshole,” you smirked. 

You walked around him and Noir followed the movement, twisting his body all the way around. You backed away, heading for the entrance. You were thoroughly tired, legs aching, but still, you found that you wanted more. The night was still young-ish.

You blew a kiss at Noir. “Catch me if you can,” you sang as you danced out of the maze, picking up speed when you heard Noir scramble after you.

There will be more! The Secret Black Noir Files

[b00kdiary]

I love your series with the Bat Boys and the Plus Size reader. Could I request a story where the plus-size Reader is feeling low and unpretty especially compared to the Archeron Sisters and distances herself so she doesn't burden the IC with her issues but Cassian won't let her and shows her how beautiful she is on the inside and out. And maybe they find out they are mates in the process (I hope I made sense lol and sorry for the long winded request)

Mirror, Mirror | Cassian

Cassian (ACOTAR) x Plus size reader

Y/N flees a party where it seems Cassian and Nesta can’t stay away from each other, but when Cassian comes rushing after her, more than one declaration is made and more than one secret is discovered.

A/N: I made a few adjustments to this (wherever my imagination took me) and this might be the best one I've written yet, I was literally so happy re-reading this :)

Warnings: mature themes (18 +) swearing, body-image issues, eventual smut and Cass being utterly infatuated with his thick, beautiful lady (Hint: mirror-play)

MASTERLIST - 1 and 2

Nesta laughed, a wonderful, breathtaking sound and something ugly twisted in me as Cassian’s face lit up, stars twinkling in his eyes as he beheld her.

I sunk back further against the wall, into the shadows, willing them to hide me, to hide the hurt and jealousy that ate and ate and ate at me the longer I watched them.

His hand on the small of her exposed, flawless back.

The sensual curve of her pink lips as she stared up at him.

The shadows that darkened his gaze as he trailed his eyes down her perfect body, over that blood-red dress that clung to every delicate curve and lean expanse of flesh, every inch of her tan and smooth and gorgeous.

A sharp pain stabbed at my chest, directly at my heart, at the sight of them together- they looked perfect. She was everything he deserved: tall, slender body curved like sin in all the best places, and the kind of fierceness that could bring the General to his knees.

And Cassian wanted her, it was obvious, the way he looked at her, the way he laughed with her, the tension between them, it was never like that with me, he was never like that with me.

“Y/N.”

The sound of my name startles me, but I swallow my surprised gasp at the touch of shadows that dance around me, clinging to my shoulder and waist, a soft and sweet greeting and I manage the barest smile as Azriel walks over to me.

“Hey, Az,” My voice is hoarse, strained, and Azriel’s lovely face deepens into a frown at the sight of it, never one to miss any details, no matter how small, “Enjoying the party?”

“I thought I was having the least fun here, until I saw you,” Azriel’s face is contemplative, sad, and I glance down when his eyes move to Cassian and Nesta, inching closer together, “You should go talk to him, you know he wants to see you.”

“He seems perfectly content with Nesta,” I sigh, and I hate how ugly my words sound, how hollow and bitter I sound, “There’s no way I can compete.”

“There’s nothing to compete with,” Azriel furrows his brows, his shadows erratic over his shoulder and I scoff at his words, at the kindness in them, “Truly Y/N, you look lovely tonight, Cassian’s an idiot if he doesn’t see it.”

I feel heat behind my eyes, a sharp pricking sting of emotion that makes it hard to see or even swallow. I tuck my hair behind an arched ear, clearing my throat, and hating the pity in Azriel’s gaze, hating that he felt he had to compliment me just to make me feel better.

“Thanks, Az, but I think the only idiot here tonight is me,” I manage a strained laugh, and Azriel sees right through it, he sees right through me. “I’m not particularly in the partying mood tonight, I’m going to just go back to my room, and have an early night.”

“Let me escort you,” Az steps forward, his scarred hand reaching for my waist, but I stop him, smiling appreciatively, but shaking my head, those treacherous tears rushing to the surface.

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” I whisper, and his face turns hard, unforgiving at the sight of my tears, those hazel eyes sharpening as he turns his head back to Cassian and Nesta. “Goodnight, Az.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

I barely hear his farewell, already stepping away and this room and the people and the music and laughter and joy all dwindle into nothing as I leave, as the tears begin to leak down my face, as my bleeding heart erupts in pain, as I slip out into the silence.

Alone.

***

“Stupid, so stupid,” I mutter roughly to myself as I slam my door shut behind me, the door clicking shut with a resounding thud, strong enough it rattled through my bones and straight to my heart.

I sniff furiously, a mixture of anger and sorrow filling me as I stumble through my room, the distant sound of music and people echoing in through the open balcony, a far cry from the still and deathly silence I was surrounded by.

I kick off my heels, flinging them messily to the side and I sigh at the feeling of the cold floor against my sore soles, at the relief from the pressure on those two thin heels, that burned with every step I took.

Stupid, so stupid to think I could put on a pair of too-high heels and be as tall and intimidating as Nesta Archeron. Stupid to think I could slip on an expensive gown and look as beautiful as she did as if it would hide the fact that my body looked nothing like hers.

I was an idiot to think that the hair and the makeup and the jewellery, that any of it would be enough to make Cassian see me, to make him want me.

“So fucking stupid,” I choke out into the silence, and this time I don’t hold back the pain, I let one tear fall and then another and another, until I can’t make them stop. I gasp on my sobs as I collapse onto my bed, my arms wrapping around me for comfort.

Alone. Utterly alone.

That thought, the reality made me cry harder until I couldn’t see or breathe, until every single atom in me shook with the sobs, until my voice bounced off the walls, ringing through the air as if mocking me.

My hands quivered as I unclasped the tear-drop diamonds from my ears, discarding them easily to the bed beside me and my lip broke as I reached behind my long hair, unhooking the diamond necklace, the stones heavily dropping to my hands.

A gift from Rhysand.

‘Cassian won’t be able to take his eyes off you, especially if you show up to his room wearing only this’  Rhysand had teased me, and like the idiot I was I giggled- giggled, and blushed like I was a fifteen-year-old schoolgirl.

Stupid.

“Y/N?” Three swift knocks against my door and I froze, “Y/N? Are you there?”

Cassian.

“Y/N,” His voice turns worried, frantic and his knocking doesn’t persist, “Are you okay, open the door for me please.”

I groan quietly, gnawing on my lip as I rise from the comfort of my bed, discarding that necklace beside the earrings, something scorched and bitter filling me at the sight of them- and when Cassian calls my name again, that feeling spreads.

I wipe the tears from my face, harsher than needed, my footsteps pattering against the flooring as I march over to the door and somehow the sadness in me has vanished, evaporated into something cold and cruel and angry.

My fingers curl around the handle and I yank the door open, my heart so loud I can hear it thundering in my ears and my face is blanketed, like a sheet of ice as I half-shield myself behind the door, unable to meet his gaze.

“Y/N,” Cassian sighs, and I hear the relief in his voice. I avoid his gaze, a pregnant pause sounding through the room as he stands there, and I see his body go stiff, “You left the party, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” I clear my throat, my hair shifting forward to hide my tears and I feel Cassian’s eyes piercing down at me, unyielding and confused, “I was just tired, I’m going to go to bed.”

“Wait, Y/N-“ His voice becomes quiet, and I pinch my eyes shut at the feeling of his eyes on me, at the worry that lingers in the air, “Have you been crying? What- what happened, are you alright-“

“I’m fine, Cassian,” I try and push the door closed, trying to force him out before I crumble again but his large hand comes to the door, halting it in place and I don’t have the energy or strength to fight him. “Please, just go, go back to the party, go back to Nesta-“

“Nesta?” He interrupts, and all amusement and joy has left his voice left his face and when I lift my eyes to him, I see them narrow, hurt flashing through them, “What does Nesta have to do with this, can I please come inside-“

“No, I don’t want you here, Cassian!” I hiss, my words sharp and lethal and honed to hurt him- and they do, I see his face fall, his breath catching at the anger on my face, the anger in my words, directed toward him, “Just go back to her, I wouldn’t want to ruin your night ahead.”

His face falls, and I see the moment realisation flashes through his eyes, and the look on his face, the pity, makes me want to die.

“Y/N, that’s not-“

“Please, Cassian, spare me,” I scoff, and I force myself to be cruel, force myself to be cold and unfeeling because otherwise the reality would consume me and I would not humiliate myself further, not in front of him. “I don’t care who you fuck, just leave me alone, I’m tired.”

I release my hold on the door, my throat unbearably tight as I turn on my heel, ripping my gaze from him, unable to take the hurt in his face, unable to see him looking at me like that- he was my friend, long before I loved him, he was my friend, and I was being so horrible to him right now.

Silence stretches on as I walk away from the door, my footsteps heavy as I move to my bed, my fingers curling around the wooden pillar, needing it for strength, needing it to keep me up.

I sighed when my door clicked shut after a moment, that light dying out and I was utterly alone again. He was gone and I was alone.

I bite my lip hard enough to pierce the flesh as fresh tears brim in my eyes and I curl into myself as they fall, my head falling against the wooden beam, and I clutch it tighter as small cries break through my lips.

“Azriel said you saw Nesta and me together at the party, saw us laughing.”

I flinch at the sound of Cassian’s voice, echoing through the room and running over my skin like a phantom touch, and I gnaw on my lip harder, pinching my eyes shut and keeping my back to him as his feet step closer to me.

“I wasn’t flirting with her, I’m not interested in her, Y/N,” Cassian’s voice was tender, and calm and it made me feel sick, “Nor does she feel that way about me.”

“I don’t care,” I grit out, tasting the saltiness of my tears seeping into my mouth, “You can do whatever you want Cassian, you don’t owe me an explanation, just-just leave me alone.”

“I was with Nesta because I was nervous, I was nervous to see you,” His words turn low, and my entire body stills at the lament, his footsteps getting closer still, “I always get nervous around you, and Nesta knew that she was teasing me about it, about how I felt-“

“Right, I’m sure with Nesta Archeron standing next to you, I’m the one who made you nervous,” I drawl sarcastically, the words tasting like poison on my tongue and again, more tears fall, “Spare me the bullshit Cassian, I don’t need your pity.”

He sighs- no, it’s more like a frustrated growl, irate and furious and a sound I’d never heard Cassian make toward me. I sniff as his footsteps bound closer and my mouth parts in a silent gasp when his hand curls around my wrist and he rips me around to face him.

“Look at me, Y/N,” His canines flash, sharp and deadly, a mirror to the darkness in his eyes as he stares down at me, his wings splaying and that handsome face turning vicious, “Just fucking look at me.”

“I don’t want your gods-forsaken pity,” I tear my wrist from his hold, and I immediately miss the warmth, miss his touch, miss him- but still, I curl my lip and I scowl up at him, “I told you I’m fine, so what do you fucking want from me?!”

“You!” He bellows and the walls shake, the syphons at his shoulder blaring bright red with power and the lament, the strength behind that single word. He shakes his head, his jaw locked and eyes blazing, “I want you- I don’t pity you, I love you.”

My face drops, the blood rushing from my cheeks and I think, no, I know that my heart has stopped dead in my chest.

“What?” I breathe and all the anger and hurt and degradation has turned to ash in my mouth, as I stare up at him, at the lovely face, soft and sincere and real. “Cassian, I don’t understand-“

“What’s there to not understand? I love you; I want you, I have for so long, Y/N,” Cassian sighs, his throat bobbing with the movement, and I inhale a sharp breath when his hand comes to my face, cupping my wet cheek, “How can you not see that?”

“B-but Nesta,” My lip trembles and Cassian’s face falls at the sight, his grip tightening and when he draws me closer to his body, to the warmth and strength of him, I don’t fight it. “You could have her o-or any other female you want- why would you want me? I’m not enough-“

“Stop, don’t say another fucking word, I won’t hear it,” Cassian growls, his eyes tapering and my eyes flutter as he runs his thumbs over my cheek, soothing, wiping away the tears that can’t seem to stop, “You’re enough, you are everything and more- you’re intelligent and fierce and elegant, you’re funny and sarcastic and kind, you are the best female I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”

“But I’m not beautiful, Cassian,” I mutter and the way his eyes shatter, the way his whole face shatters at my words, it’s like I broke something in him. “I’m not beautiful like the females you’re surrounded by- I’m not tall or thin, I’m not delicate or petite, I don’t look like them.”

“Oh baby, I don’t want them, I want you,” His voice cracks as he draws himself down to me, his face inching toward mine and full of so much feeling it made me breathless, “I want all of you.”

I gasped at the feeling of his lips crashing against mine and I didn’t fight it, can’t fight it when his hands curve around to the small of my back, dragging me flush against his body.

Cassian’s lips move against mine with hunger, devouring me and tasting me in a way that has my whole body reacting, all the way down to my toes. I arch my back into him, my fingers curling into his dress shirt, nails cutting through the fabric for leverage as he slips his tongue against mine.

I taste the bittersweetness of wine in his mouth and a whimper escapes me as he laps his tongue against me, firm and sure, as if memorising the feel of me, memorising the taste of me, of every sound that slips past my lips.

“Cass-“ I huff in a harsh breath when his hands, large and ringed and rough, slip down the rolls at my back, his fingers digging in perfectly as he curls them under the curve of my ass and lifts me up into his arms. “Cass!”

My protests die out on my lips, Cassian dismissing my worried cry by pulling me into another all-consuming kiss and I can do nothing but moan, my legs wrapping around to latch onto his waist and my hands slipping around his neck.

My core burns, sensitive and aching as Cassian begins to walk, every step brushing his hard, toned stomach against me and eliciting the filthiest moan from my lips. Cassian grins, gnawing at my bottom lip, his fingers kneading against my ass with reverence as he moves us.

But not toward the bed.

I flutter my eyes open as Cassian comes to a stop and the look in his eyes, the feral delight makes my body shiver. He helps me slip down from his hold and I raise a curious brow at him as he places his hands on my waist and then spins me around.

To look in the mirror.

“Cassian,” I frown, catching my own eyes in the reflection before immediately looking away, a pit of dread opening in my stomach as I latch my eyes higher, to where he stood towering behind me. “What-“

“Do you trust me?” Cassian whispered the question, his hands running soothingly up and down my arms, the touch so bare that I craved more. “I need you to trust me, Y/N.”

“I- I do,” I swallow, my voice shaking but I steel my spine and push away any fear at the kindness in his eyes, at the male I’d known for years and trusted with my life. “Of course, I trust you.”

“Good,” He nods, and my body tightens, prickling with fear and anticipation as his fingers begin to tug at the straps on either shoulder, his eyes darkening with something filthy and heady as he stares at me through the looking glass. “Because I’m going to show you how much I love you, every inch of you.”

My breathing turns shallow and burdensome as Cassian gently tugs down each strap, his movements deliberate and slow and making every second feel as long as an hour. I don’t take my eyes off his as he runs his palms down my back, moving to the zip there.

His body is thrumming with energy as he watches me, piercing and unblinking as he tugs down the zip at the back, inch by inch, the sound of it unzipping the loudest noise in the room.

He releases a desperate whoosh of air and I catch the look in his eyes, the carnal lust in them as he slowly drags the front of my dress down. I clamp my eyes shut the second the material falls, revealing my bare aching breasts and the flesh of my stomach.

“Cauldron fucking spare me,” Cassian hisses and I don’t need to see his face to know how he’s watching me, can hear the appreciation and need in every word.

I still don’t open my eyes, can’t open my eyes as his hard body shifts behind me, his touch turning rough as he begins to yank the material down my wide hips, over my love handles and down my thick thighs until it hits the floor.

My underwear tugged down with it.

My body shakes with every inhale and exhale I take, my heart pounding as Cassian trails his fingers across my thighs, hips, and waist, over the sides of my breasts and down the length of my spine.

“Open your eyes, Y/N,” His voice is at my ear, soft, coaxing, and my back arches when his rough, calloused hands curve around me, cupping my breasts and kneading them tenderly, “Open your eyes and see how fucking perfect you look right now.”

I suck in a steadying breath, the feeling of his fingers twisting and tugging on my taut nipples distracting me and eliciting waves of sparks and embers through my body. I brace myself and before I overthink it, I open my eyes.

I come face to face with myself- utterly naked, every flaw and imperfection, every roll and stretch mark, cellulite, and bump on display. And yet Cassian was looking at me like I was the single most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

As if in his five hundred years of existence this was the closest, he had ever gotten to heaven.

“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” His voice quivers, emotion clogging the words and tears prick my eyes when he presses soft, loving kisses against my neck and jaw, adoring me, “I wish you knew how much I crave you.”

“Cass,” I moan, feeling his hard length pressing into my back and this time, when my eyes meet his in the mirror, I let him see how much I needed him, how much I wanted him, “Show me, Cassian.”

“Y/N,” He groans, a primitive, male sound as I rub my ass against his cock, his entire body shivering at the touch and his eyes growing heavy as I press my bareness against him, “Are you sure-“

“I’m sure,” I whisper, and Cassian’s eyes turn wholly black as I lean forward, bracing my palms against the mirror before me and spreading my legs as I press my ass back into him. I glance back up, to the feral need on his face and I smile, “Take me, Cass.”

A low, terrifying grumble reverberates from him, from somewhere dark and unsatiated inside him and my core throbs when he cements himself to my back, turning my head to capture my lips in his and he tastes me like he’s addicted.

I pant as he plants one of his hands beside mine on the mirror, our fingers interweaving and the sound of him unlacing his breeches, his fingers tugging and yanking and ripping at the material makes me clench with anticipation.

“Are you ready- I don’t want to hurt you,” His face buries into my neck, biting and suckling on the flesh but I hear the concern in his voice. I grab his free hand from behind me, bringing it down between my thighs and he moans as I drag his fingers through my wetness, messy and leaking.

“I’m so ready, Cass,” I plead, my nails digging into his arm as he pulls his cock free from his trousers my eyes meet his through the mirror and he smiles at the desperate pout I wear, “Please, please-“

His head runs up and down my folds, collecting the wetness and when he stills at my entrance, teasing my hole, I go weak at the size of him.

“How could I ever deny you, baby?” He hisses in my ear, his fingers curling around mine against the mirror and a roguish smile stretching across his face- one that promised to ruin me.

“Cassian!”

He shoved his cock into me, hard and fast and unforgiving and the shriek that escapes me echoes through the whole building as he sheaths himself all the way, forcing me to take it.

I choke on my cries as Cassian moves his hand to my hips, his fingers holding onto the flesh for leverage as he drags his thick, pulsing length out of me, the stretch so far and wide that it hurt more than I ever knew it could.

But then he snapped his hips forward, stuffing it all back in and I moaned, my body wrecking with the intensity of it, with the intensity of him.

“Fuck you’re so tight, baby,” Cassian gritted out, nudging my thighs apart with his knee and pressing a hand down onto my lower back so that I was leaning forward, my face inches from the mirror and his cock slipping in so deep. “So fucking tight.”

“Cassian, oh- Cauldron-“

My tits bounced and my thighs shook as he fucked into me, his pace brutal and merciless, pounding me hard and deep, my pussy sucking him in and clenching, my eyes rolling at the mixture of pleasure and pain that throbbed through my core.

He didn’t give me any time to adjust, didn’t give me time to get used to the size of him- and I fucking loved it.

“Does that feel good?” He muttered, fingers curling into my hair and yanking my head back so that my eyes met his in the mirror and I whimpered at the pressure on my scalp, at the sound of my wetness and his skin slapping mine as he slammed his hips to meet my ass again and again.

“S-so good,” I blubbered, my words slugging together as I watched his face tighten, watching him sweating and panting and grunting, those dark eyes sliding between our bodies, watching his dick slide in and out, coated in my juices. “Don’t stop, don’t stop- please, please-”

He snarls, the sound animalistic and the electricity in my core intensifies when Cassian’s hand releases my hair, his hand slipping around to grip my throat and the angle shifts as he brings me back to his chest, our sweating bodies melting together, his fingers around my neck tight as he keeps me there.

“Look at yourself, baby,” He croons, his voice like sin as he nibbles against my cheek and I cry out when he drives into my pussy faster, his eyes watching every reaction, every movement through the mirror and it drives him on. “See how fucking perfect you look, taking my cock like it was made for you.”

“Cass, Cass,” His name is a prayer on my lips, the head of his cock slamming against a point in me, deep and untouched, a point that has every nerve ending setting alight and he laughs, like claws running down my spine, delighted at how close I was.

“So beautiful,” His fingers tighten around my throat and my eyes flutter open, latching onto the sight of us in the mirror, his body against mine, the sweat coating my skin and the absolute adoration in his eyes, “See how beautiful you look? Say it baby, say you’re beautiful.”

A command, a raw and final command.

“I’m-oh,” My head tilts back against his shoulder, my back arching as Cassian’s hand slips between my thighs and he begins rubbing brashly at my clit, fast and messy and forceful, and my knees start to quake. “Cassian, I can’t I’m- I’m-“

“No, no- You can’t come until you say it,” He growls, and I mewl when his fingers circle harder, his hips driving into me so perfectly that I can feel how red and bruised my ass is getting. “Say you’re- shit- say you're beautiful, say it, baby-“  

Every word is emphasised with a snap of his hips, again and again, and the sound of him panting and moaning in my ears, his fingers ruining my clit it’s too much.

“I’m beautiful,” I moan, tears trickling down my cheeks at the tautness of my body, that bubble in my core starting to expand and expand and it hurts so good, “I’m beautiful, fuck-fuck-“

“Come, baby, come,” Cassian chuckles, dark and sinful and when my body gives out, his arm wraps around me, keeping me up and fucking me so good, sliding against my walls and ripping apart any control I had, “Make a mess of my cock for me.”

“Cass- Cass- Cassian!”

He hits that spot again and again and again, not stopping, not giving me even a second to breathe and that bubble bursts, explodes, and all I can do is chant his name over and over as releases rocks through me.

“Shit, Y/N,” Cassian curses, and my stomach clenches and unclenches, moans falling endlessly from my lips as I come, wrapping around Cassian painfully tight, and I know he’s close, know he’s barely hanging on.

I pant, damn near hyperventilating as my orgasm shatters me and my body starts to ache and burn as Cassian chases his high, his hips stuttering and his body hard against mine, curses falling from his lips as I clamp down around him, again and again.

“Shit, baby,” Cassian groans, eyes clamping shut and I watch through the mirror, enchanted as his fingers curl into my hips, his head falling to the crook of my neck as his body goes utterly still and he releases inside me.

The sound he makes, that devastating rumble of power that emits from him, is muffled into my neck and I whimper as his hips come to a jagged halt, the feeling of his warm come spreading through me making my head spin.

I can’t look away from him, not as he clutches onto me like a lifeline, canines scraping against my neck and his wings arching up high and spread wide, trembling with the aftermath of his orgasm.

“Fuck,” Cassian pants, the both of us sagging forward with exhaustion, and as he slowly slips out of me, he groans at the sight of his seed leaking out from me and down my soft thighs. “Fuck Y/N.”

I suck in greedy gulps of air as I lift my head, my heart pounding in my chest and a sense of clarity wrecking through me, waves of release fading into oblivion and the silence settling around us. Cassian smiles, tenderly, as I meet his gaze in the mirror.

But then something happens.

I freeze, my body jolting the second my eyes meet his, the second I see those hazel orbs and melt into their serenity, into their comfort.

Something clicks into place.

“Y/N?” Cassian’s worried voice greets me, pushing through the haze and fog and disorientation and I feel his hands pushing back my hair, trying to gain my attention, “Y/N, baby, what’s wrong?”

Tears burn my eyes, strong and overwhelming and maddening and when my eyes lift, when I see Cassian through the looking glass, his face pales in worry.

“What’s wrong-“

“You’re my mate.”

He stills, his entire body stills, and I release a shaking, astounded sob. Cassian doesn’t speak, doesn’t breathe as I turn on my weak legs, finally face to face with him.

“You’re my mate, Cassian,” I choke out, half-laughing, half-sobbing and my hands shake as I bring them up to his beautiful face, watching him melt into my embrace, “My mate.”

“It only took you fifty years to realise,” Cassian muttered, tears brimming in his eyes and my mouth went slack at his words, at the broken teasing in them, “Made me wait long enough I think.”

“You-you knew?” I gasp and Cassian’s hands fall to my waist, drawing me closer and the feel of his hands, his touch, ignites something raw and dangerous in me. “How-“

“I knew the very day we met,” He whispers, voice hoarse and lip trembling and more tears leak down my cheeks at the sight, at his words, “I knew you were my mate from the second I saw you, and I have loved you in silence every day since.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I croak out, my fingers curling around his cheek- I wasn’t angry but it hurt, my heart hurt for him, for the years he spent knowing and being able to do nothing.

“I wanted you to realise on your own,” Cassian says, and something breaks in my chest at the tear that streaks down his face, sinking into my hand, “I wanted you to be ready for me, for us.”

“Cassian, I love you, I have loved you from the first moment you smiled at me, from the first moment you spoke to me, from the first moment you looked at me,” I smile, rising onto my tiptoes and pressing the softest kiss to his lips.

Sparks. Utter sparks.

“I have always loved you,” I laugh as his hands cascade down my back, curling around my ass and this time, when he lifts me with ease, I wrap my arms around him, hooking my legs and bringing his face close to mine. “My Mate.”

“I’ve prayed to hear you say those words,” He muttered against my lips, his eyes fluttering at the tender touch, and I sighed as we pressed our foreheads together. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Cassian.”

____________

@mis-lil-red @hyemishii @assaultsofthought @starswholistenanddreamsanswered

Comment to be added to the tag-list >3

[boizandgurlzinthehouse]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞.

pairing: coriolanus snow x toxic!fem!reader

summary: someone always throw a spanner in her works, to achieve her biggest dream —being coriolanus’ lover, wife and claiming power. luckily, y/n is not on the loser side when it comes to playing. 

trigger warnings (overall): mastermind!reader, toxic!reader (for real, she’s doing nasty things), reader’s family is a bit fucked up, reader is obsessed with coriolanus snow, lying, swearing, blood, violence, killing people, hunger games stuff, i just love volumnia gaul, reader hates lucy gray and everybody who’s around coriolanus, mental health problems mentioned such as psychotism, domestic violence mentioned, drugs, mention of sexual fantasies.

trigger warnings (in this part): mastermind!reader, toxic!reader (for real, she’s doing nasty things), reader’s family is a bit fucked up, reader is obsessed with coriolanus snow, lying, swearing, domestic violence mentioned, drugs, mention of sexual fantasies, mentions of gaining weight and wearing a corset (patrick bateman vibes), i really hope it doesn't seem like bodyshaming, reader has problems only with her own body.

prologue.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈. 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐖𝐒.

another day. another chance to win him over. 

y/n could be named for many things: a filthy liar, a nepo-baby, a psychopath or simply a crazy girl, but she was never, ever lazy. waking up, she always had the same routine: getting out from the bed, changing into her underwear she wore the day before, making her hair up into a bun, spreading carbon on her teeth to be white as marble. working out, even if it hurt, because how could she be the best wife ever for coriolanus if she was lazy and out of shape? through workout, she thought about who she is. i am y/n y/l/n, youngest member of the house y/l/n. we are noble, i am noble, and i deserve everything what i have now. i am beautiful, clever and nobody can ever drag me down. the people who hate me are only envious of my life, my body and my mind, but they’re all going to soil. i love the life i have, and i will appreciate every single second of the life i will have when i achieve my goals. i have every tool i can use to win, and i will use them to be the woman i want to be. it’s not far away, and everyday is a chance to be closer to the woman i want to be.

after that, taking a bath, scrubbing her body with a sponge, so her skin would always be silky, using her razor to get rid of the unwanted, ugly hair on her body. smearing vanilla and rose oil onto her skin: vanilla for being gentle, and rose for coriolanus. brushing her teeth, washing down the charcoal, washing teeth with the regular toothpaste. sitting in front of her dressing table, picking her eyebrow, putting cosmetic oils and serums on her cleavage, her neck and her face. while letting it dry, picking out the outfit of the day, calling in her maid, hortense to help her with the corset if she felt that she gained too much weight because of the medicine, or was on her period. y/n hated so-called red days, and waited for the day when she could bear her husband’s children. putting her clothes on, sitting at the dressing table again, her maid helped her if she wanted a special hairstyle. checking her manicure, it was now soft pink, it’ll match with her clothes. making her hair, she did her makeup, curling her eyelashes, putting a little chili on her lips to be so full –it hurt like hell, but how could she be perfect if she didn’t put effort in it?, whilst repeating another list in her mind. this was for coriolanus. 

be kind with him, but never too kind. be kind and modest with everybody else, so they won’t notice it. agree with him in the things that are important, but also speak your mind if he seems doubtful. speak your feelings to convince him, you are important to him. always accept his help, but don’t make redundant situations, don’t look like the damsel in distress. make him feel special, let him be the man he is, make him feel that you support him and his plans, but never make too big promises. don’t look pathetic, don’t show your emotions too much. never talk about him to others, only if they mention him, talk good about him, and talk bad about others if it’s needed. don’t make a scene if something doesn’t work your way, it will sooner or later. take action when it’s the right time. 

applying lipstick as the last step, she was ready to step out from home. y/n knew she had a strict routine, but doing mornings on autopilot let her think about more important things, like her daily plans. first destination was the school where coriolanus was, but first, she needed to get her papers after graduating, after that they’re gonna have lunch together, and then, she’ll look for the letters to see if volumnia gaul accepted her application. probably she will, she knows her entire family, how great they are, and she probably heard about y/n herself too. 

“good morning ms. y/l/n, how are you?” lacy, her sister’s maid asked her as she carried the laundry in a big basket through the hallway on the ground floor. 

“i slept well, lacy, thank you. where is my sister?” 

“your sister, morphia went to arrange the flowers and the cake for her marriage. i am so happy for her, ms. y/l/n!” 

y/n couldn’t decide if lacy was truly happy or just acting. but she wasn’t a threat, so y/n didn’t care. 

“me too, lacy.” 

her father was sitting at the head of the table, reading the tabloids, her mother, lorelei was eating some eggs with meat, some gin in her glass on the side. 

“this pheasant is really good, cyril.” she mentioned, looking up to see her youngest child. “oh, my sweet, y/n! good morning.” 

“good morning, mommy.” she said, giving her a kiss on the cheek, going to her father, she waited until he stopped reading the tabloid and looked at her. her father, cyril y/l/n was really strict, but not as strict as crassus snow. once, after her father made her burn the flowers she tore off from their garden and beat her, her mother stroked her cheek, saying “oh, honey, don’t be sad. your father is a good man, not like crassus snow. i think you should be glad that you don’t have him as your father.” so this way, y/n was happy. or so her mother thought. 

“good morning, father.” she told him too, giving him a kiss on the cheek too. she could do that until she was eighteen, after that, only the greeting was acceptable. y/n saw once, when morphia tried to kiss her father when she passed eighteen, she got slapped across the face. but they were happy, weren’t they? 

“how’s your application with gaul?” he asked as y/n sat down. 

“i handed it in yesterday. probably a letter will wait for me in the afternoon.” 

“why, what will you do today?” 

“cyril, i already told you that! your butler even wrote it down for you!” her mother whined, looking at her daughter. y/n took a slice of bread, reaching for the butter and the knife. 

“don’t mind it, mother. i’m going to the school to get my graduating papers, then have lunch with coriolanus, and then–”

“coriolanus snow? that boy and his family are broke, his father was gullible and got killed by the rebellion. why are you humbling yourself in his presence?” 

control. control your face, your hands. y/n’s fist curled around the knife tighter, grabbing it with real force. 

“i know, but he has great talent. and he’s gonna be the next president of panem.” she replied calmly, looking at him. sometimes she fantasized about stabbing him there, at the head of the table. 

“president of panem? y/n, you are so amusing when you say things like this. but i truly hope your words will become reality someday. crassus wasn’t gullible, everybody was afraid through the first rebellion.” his face softened, just as he spoke to a three year old. 

“yes, honey! your father doesn’t doubt you, he’s just amazed at what you are saying.” her mother added, sipping on her gin, batting her lashes. it wasn’t even ten in the morning, as she was already wasted. after eating the slice of bread, y/n stood up, hiding the knife into her sleeve. 

“i’m going out, but i’m gonna be here for the letter. please don’t open up before me.” she asked, making her father look up. 

“hortense is going to bring it to your room.” 

“thank you, father.” 

“honey, you didn’t even touch the caviar and the honey, please eat some more!” 

kissing her mother’s cheek again, y/n looked at her. she got her eyes, her mother was truly beautiful when she was young, acrimonious lips talked cyril only married lorelei because of her looks. nevertheless, the creed family was also noble, y/n only had to bear festus’ horrible personality twice a year, christmas and the reaping. 

“don’t worry mommy, i’ll be fine.” 

she could work easily with an empty stomach, getting back to her room, preparing her bag. looking at the medicines, she put the bottle under her clothes. she didn’t need these pills that made her useless, slow and lazy anyway, she needed something else… and she knew her horrible cousin, festus got that white, powdery thing. grabbing the butterknife from under her sleeve, she touched it. it was the worst knife ever, blunt and short, like some of the fighters in the games. y/n loved her father, respected him and counted on his words, but questioning her and laughing at her, it was the exception if it came to love and respect. and if her father is doubting her again, she will–

funk! well, who thought that people could stick butter knives into the wall? 

arriving at the school, showing her papers that she was a private student, the secretary gave out her graduation stuff. nodding, the secretary told some things, but her mind was focused on finding festus. going to the main hall, everybody whore red, y/n was the only outstander with her black skirt, soft pink blouse and black blazer. every school uniform was truly awful, the capitol is the wealthiest in all panem, couldn’t they make it a little bit more… pleasant? it’s a shame that every fabric is on their hand, available, and still, they style it horrible. nevermind, festus was there, chatting with that bitch arachne and that fucker pliny harrington. 

“hey, festus, hey, everybody. can we talk for a minute?” she turned to her cousin. festus looked at her, smirked, then looked at the others. 

“of course. sorry, it’s only a minute.” he said to them, walking to one of the corners with y/n. leaning to one of the marble piles, he dug his hands into his pockets. “so, what do you want?”

“why are you asking me so pitiless?” y/n blinked at him. for some people, formality in family could seem heartless, but she was relieved that she didn't need to waste her time if she didn't want to.

“you talk to me only if you need something.” 

“me? don’t be ridiculous, i helped with all your assignments in school, what would your mother say if she heard that?” y/n couldn’t be a big gamer if she didn’t knew the connections in her environment perfectly well. seeing how festus’ face became a little bit rigid, she continued. “anyway, i want from that white dust you gave me last time.”

she couldn’t even carve a wider grin on his face, even if she wanted to.

“so you liked it? it’s better than your stupid pills.” y/n had a poker face, but she wondered how he got to know. “you’re not the only one who knows things in the family.” fucker, you don’t even know everything, yet you still play like you’re the most clever. the funny thing is that it ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble, no. it's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

“i have business somewhere else soon, can i get it or not?”

“it will cost some money, but i am always happy to help my family.” oh, fuck off. y/n reached her hand like she wanted to shake hands with him, and this way, demand and supply met. “if you drink some of it, it’ll be better. you are a crazy bitch y/n, but if snow really will be the president, remember me as one of your biggest supporters.” he smiled. “oh, and volumnia heard some of his great ideas about getting more audience for the games. if you’ll work for her, that ugly power couple thing can be really dangerous.” what ideas? she knew it was a problem that the game wasn't so popular, and he thought that coriolanus wasn’t so interested in that. of course, until now, because big money was at stake, and everybody was prowling around the corner. y/n curled the corner of her lips up under duress, bidding goodbye to festus. she wasn’t gonna take it now, she used it only for emergencies.

now, she could completely focus on coriolanus. where was he? walking to the other long hallway, looking around, he was nowhere despite that they stuck to eleven am yesterday. suddenly, she felt two hands on her shoulder, making her turn. 

“there you are!” there he was. y/n could look at him for an eternity, could he look better under eleven hours? everything about him was perfect, from the way he looked to the point he talked, and y/n almost tasted the sweetness when his mind was forming those clever, great thoughts. and his looks? she knew they could have the most precious children; angel blonde hair, blue eyes, chiseled jawline she could kiss a million times, his body was sculpted by the gods who were looking down on them, and she prayed every night to the deities so they could be each other’s one day. in y/n’s mind, coriolanus wasn’t just a boy or a soon-to-be-man. no, he was the base of everything, he had everything that y/n needed, and y/n was raised truly the best way. nobody else could get in the near of the perfection he formed, and y/n could see the future. the future, where they marry, she is in the longest, most beautiful white dress full with gemstones like rubies, sapphires, diamonds and emeralds, vowing endless loyalty to each other, the whole world is envious of the wealth they have. the future, where he becomes the president of panem, leading the nation with a strong hand and making decisions with a strong mind, while y/n helped to make the games more impressive, more dangerous, more cruel, but first of all, supporting him in everything, even if she has to get her hands dirty. the future, where she was pregnant with his children, naming them ancient names so they could mirror the same noble qualities those deities had, raising them the best way so they could even outgrow them, perfect people. “how was your morning?”

the future they could have. the future they WILL have. 

“hello, corio. mine was pretty good, got my graduating papers. how was your day so far?” 

“it was… good, i guess? this mentoring thing is new for everyone, i spent all night thinking how lucy gray could win.” 

that name, again. keep it cool. 

“i’m sure you will think it out. shall we go and eat lunch?” 

sitting in a gorgeous, golden restaurant, y/n chose a corner for them to sit in. when their food arrived, she waited for him to speak. it seemed like something was itching his mind, and she was one of his best friends, wasn't she? corio looked to the side, then at her, then took a bite from his lunch. let’s break the ice. 

“is everything okay, corio?”

“yes, yes, everything’s fine. is it… on my face?” 

“well, since i…” don’t make it too personal. “...since we know each other so well, i see worry on your face. you can tell me everything.” 

“it’s… it’s gonna be really, really embarrassing for me, but… so, y/n, it’d be my pleasure if… you’d come with me on a date?”

clawing on her thigh, was this reality? was coriolanus really, really asking her out in this glorious place? was she truly worthy of his love? moderating her grin to a smile, she looked at him. he was truly a love-child of an angel and a god, and while y/n was truly a masterpiece herself, it was the biggest honor for her to get into the grace of this guy. now, the idea of the wedding and the best imaginable life wasn’t so far away. did the gods hear her prayers above, and saw the list she created? 

“forget it, y/n, i know i’m not–” coriolanus tried to hush the previous idea with an embarrassed look on his face, but y/n shook her head. obviously, her mind wandered for too long. 

“no, no! of course i’d go on a date with you. with pleasure.” y/n smiled, slowly reaching for his hand that was on the table. they touched each other frequently before, but not like this. she hated a part of herself, the part that could melt under his touch and got dizzy from only his skin. but truly, she could eat it up if she could. 

“oh, okay, well… i just… thought that it’s embarrassing, because you pay for all of this, and–” never let a man’s pride falter. it’s the firewood for the campfire, the pressure for the diamond, the water for the plants. if you feed a man’s ego, he’ll trust and love you. 

“corio, dear, please. i’m not with you because of your money, we can’t do anything about our past and families. and you’re gonna win the plinth-prize, so what are we worrying about?” 

“but–” y/n hushed him gently, playing her finger in front of her lips. 

“i’m sure you will win that prize. why, who else would win it? the daughter of an energy secretary? or a rich, spoiled kid?”

“they are all rich and spoiled.” y/n totally let pass the fact that she was too. but what was the problem with it, really? they couldn’t do anything about it, you can’t decide where you were born. a person can change everything about itself, but not its origin. it always stays with you, clinging onto your ankle, to drag with yourself everywhere. in this life, they got on the winning side of the wheel. and who cares about the next life? 

“but no one’s father is a general, except you. and i know that you didn’t like him, but keep the mindset.” 

“you are so clever, y/n. thank you for always putting my mind into it’s place.”

“i’m just telling the truth. and… how are things with the game? is it hard?” 

“oh, it’s… i still need to figure out some things. but i had some ideas about ways to get people more engaged in the games, like getting them sponsors, or interviewing the tributes so the viewers can get closer to them, pick a favorite, some things like this.” 

“it sounds really interesting, did volumnia hear these things?” as much as she hated festus’ bragging, he also mentioned things that she could use. maybe that’s why everybody got rid of her so fast at a big gathering like the graduation two days ago. she never had ‘juicy tea’ or some things like that, only if she wanted to get something. and when she wanted to get something, the chamber of secrets instantly opened. 

“yeah, well she came in when we were discussing those things. she said that i need to write it down, and then clemensia interrupted that we’ve always worked and brainstormed together, so we can write that together, too.” 

totaling another pen, dovecote? being a tricky bitch, i wasn’t expecting less from you. 

“i think volumnia should know that the idea was yours. clemensia is your good friend, but why wasn’t she just cheering that you got the gamemaker’s attention?” plant the seed. maybe not with clemensia, she will do it for herself, but anyway. coriolanus needed to know the truth. 

“i will talk with her about this.” he won’t. he’s too kind-hearted for it. “and i’ll write down my ideas. anyway, how’s your application for volumnia gaul? did you hand it in?” y/n nodded at his question, chewing on the potatoes. 

“got handed it in yesterday. i really hope if i go home this afternoon, a letter will be waiting for me.” the smile on his face was worth everything. what could that mouth do if there were only the two of them? because she knew what her mouth could do. 

“i’m sure she’ll hire you. one of your thesis got onto her table, remember? the one you wrote about the possible content of venom in mono– and dicotyledons. and if she’s not, then she’s a dingbat.” y/n remembered that thesis, her brain always burned out from the three-day long insomnia. 

“careful, corio! i hope she doesn’t have ears everywhere.” that woman was the queen on her chess table, it was the side that could never be decided. 

all the way home, she thought about coriolanus. y/n gotta hide the grin she was forming with her lips when she was driving home with the chauffeur of the family. all the effort, all the pain… it was worth it. she almost teared up from the joy, but her mascara was really expensive, even her mother thought that it was too rich for their blood.

“is everything alright, miss y/l/n?” helius, their private driver asked, looking into the rear-view mirror. y/n nodded, exhaling and inhaling. big news like this always messed with her head. nodding, everything was perfect. 

stepping inside the house, she raced up to her room immediately. there was the letter, persephone slept beside it. picking it up, y/n used her nails to tear it up. she never waited for news like this. the sooner she knew, the sooner she could got suit in the new situation. 

dear y/n y/l/n, you got accepted…

throwing it away, she instantly picked up persephone, screaming into her fur. persephone meowed, already used to her owner’s insane habits. anyway, the food was tasty in the house, so why not bear it? 

“you hear this, persephone? the lucky star is shining on us.” she whispered to the cat, stroking her head. she couldn't sit back, not now. not when good things, the reward of the hard work could be felt. not when everything worked for her plans. “mother and father will be so happy. and we are happy too, aren't we?” 

y/n didn't know happiness, only when her heart got fast and drug-like feeling curled in her blood. but now, she got to be a predator. a predator who sat for hours, days to catch its prey. when news were coming in, things always changed. she had to be patient, but she couldn't get lazy, not now. not when strange news was coming up. news that didn’t match with her expectations, nowhere, never. news that bathed her soul with venom. news that raised her little game onto a new level. 

a/n: the prologue got so many notes like my tumblr literally BLEW UP thank you so much girliez 😭 i hope you liked this part, more focus will be on corio i just want to size up reader's mindset

take care of yourself babes, love y'all luisa

[nan0ka]

𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇♡𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄. ⁰⁰

zero. — pretty, pretty roses.

summary. the first time you met someone that depressed. no way you're giving him a rose.

content. highschool au, fluff, slowburn, childhood friends to lovers, umemiya may seem ooc, little angst.

wordcount. ~0.65k.

❨🗂️❩ → masterlist. ❨📁❩ → next.

　“DON'T touch them.”

As soon as those words left your lips, the white-black haired boy was frozen on spot at the unknown voice. Slowly, but surely he lifted his head to see a [h/c]-colored girl with furrowed eyebrows. The gaze was cold, unusual for a girl around your age and the harsh tone under your voice sounded pretty unfriendly. He pulled his hand back that was just centimeter away from the beautiful light pink rose.

His eyes went down to a cute watering can laying in your hands. The can itself represented a giraffe which made it a lot cuter. He stood up to take a few steps back for you. You stood there, watering the roses, careful to not give them too little or too much. Then he finally noticed that you wore a little, white-black dress with a red backpack and were around his height, maybe-probably a bit shorter.

But still. The nervousness didn't leave him at all as he watched you water the plants. Even though he estimated you to be in his age, you seemed intimidating and scary. You even have a sweet little dress on and were holding a cute watering can. Your appearance didn't match your facial expression at all. You definitely owned a pretty face, but you wore a stoic face that probably made it hard for other kids to approach you.

When you were done with watering the plants, your piercing [e/c] eyes met his downturned blue ones. One second, two seconds, three seconds, four-you broke the eye contact as your eyes went up and down. The tense boy infront of you had white hair growing in from his roots with black hair at the ends, his eyebrows were white and he wore a plain, loose fitting sweatshirt, jeans, and light-colored tennis shoes with a strap over the laces.

And most importantly, he had a scrawny body. A bruise on his cheek. Under his eyes were dark eye bags. Infront of you was literally the definition of frail. Quite the opposite of healthy. [e/c] eyes stared at the skinny boy. The longer the silence the more it made him feel awkward. Finally, a sigh escaped your lips and it broke the unnerving silence. But it sounded like you had just dealt with some annoying six year olds as an adult.

"You look ugly."

He froze.

What's wrong with you? Why are you so mean? His nervous demeanor dissapeared, got replaced with an indifferent one. And you noticed. He didn't answer or react much more at your insolent choice of words. Childs these days are pretty rude. He observed you, while you turned to your pretty roses again and crouched down. Your delicate pointer finger touched the rose carelessly.

—and suddenly he was staring at blood dripping down the floor.

"The rose has dorns, you know? You could've hurt yourself." you explained as you pulled your hand away again. "And I don't think you can take it with that... body."

You're weird.

Just seconds ago you were rude. Now you seemed to care. Or maybe it was your way to show how you care about your peers. His facial expression softend. And you noticed. The choice of yor words were seemingly more pleasing this time, so you were satisfied with yourself. Now you can also tell your mother that you can add a new 'friend' to your collection. Ah. You mean you found a new friend.

"Can I... have the rose?"

"No. But you can have this." you rummaged through your backpack and gave him a bandage. "For the bruise on your cheek."

"...Ah. Thank you." he accepted it silently.

"..."

"..."

"...Only... Only if you look healthier next time we meet. Then you can have the rose, 'kay?"

— NAN0KA [ may 30th, 2024 ]

At first, please forgive me for the grammar errors...

[astroboots]

Love Bites

CO-WRITTEN WITH @THIRSTWORLDPROBLEMSS

Summary: Marc wakes up with a lot of hickeys in the mirror.

Content: a cup of yearning, a spoonful of angst and a heapful of horny and mix well with masturbation.

A/N: Inspired by @guruan amazing art series of love marks and hickeys on the Moon Knight boys. See her twitter for the pieces.

Word count: 4.9k words

ASTROBOOT’S MASTERLIST | THIRSTWORLDPROBLEMS' MASTERLIST | MOON KNIGHT MASTERLIST

Marc is no stranger to finding marks on his body.

Black and yellowed bruises scattered across his ribcage. Angry pink abrasions on his knuckles or jaw, the dark reddish brown of old blood crusting around deeper gashes.

They never bothered him too much. The suit takes care of it in the blink of an eye when he needs it to. Well before Steven wakes up so that Marc can make sure that his other half will always stay none the wiser of what their body is put through on a daily basis.

Marc is usually the one responsible for most of the marks and bruises. But Steven, with his clumsiness, isn't altogether blameless.

There are nights when Marc will wake up with a sore arm from a box of souvenir junk that's fallen onto Steven during inventory time. Sometimes, Steven in his half-conscious stupor will bump into a particularly hard corner of the shelves leaving Marc with a purple blotch on his hip or shoulder. It happens often enough that when Marc wakes up fronting and find his body marred with big ugly bruises, he doesn't react with even an ounce of surprise.

After all, pain and bruises are routine for him. It's what Marc has known for as long as he can remember. But Marc can't say he's used to this. 

He's standing in front of the small mirror of the bathroom. His eyes lingers over the maroon-red mark that's discoloring the junction of his neck, right above his clavicle. It's the length of three fingers. It's bright, splotchy and glaring.

It's so unexpected it takes Marc several long seconds before he registers it for what it is.

Not a mosquito bite, it's too large for that. Not a bruise caused from a punch.

A hickey.

A grumble simmers in the back of his throat. Marc has a pretty good idea how the body ended up with a hickey.

Steven was going to take you out on a date last night. Some restaurant you’d been wanting to try “for ages.”

You'd looked so excited when you'd told him about it over breakfast that morning. Eyes bright, smiling cheek to cheek that made his chest squeeze tight within, as you had devoured the pancakes he'd made for you.

Marc stares back at his reflection in the mirror. At the big showy red blotch on his skin. If Marc leaves it as it is, it's sure to spread even wider until it turns purplish and blue and covers half of his throat.

Shit, you really went to town on his— on Steven's neck.

The two of you must have had fun.

His fingers trail the outline of the discoloration of his skin. The skin is bruised and a little tender, but it doesn’t hurt. Not in the way he's used to.

This isn’t the lingering pain from the impact of blunt knuckles or the sharp throbbing  of broken ribs. This is different.

This bruise was made, not with a fist or a weapon, but with care. Made with your soft lips dragging across his neck. Your exploring fingers digging into his hair as your teeth scrape down his jaw and down his --

Fuck. What is he doing?

He glares accusingly at himself in the mirror.

What the hell was that?

Marc doesn't do this.

He doesn't let himself think about what it's like when you and Steven are together.

That's the rule he set for himself early on when you entered Steven's life: Marc is going to stay out of your way.

Leave you and Steven to live a normal and happy life without his interference... Except he fucked up.

Marc feels like a goddamned Disney villain most times. It's bad enough that Marc steals away hours—sometimes days—from Steven's quiet London life without the man knowing.

Somehow, and Marc isn't entirely sure how he's managed to land the three of you in this position, but not only do you know about Marc now. Marc's also cornered you into the impossible situation that you have to keep his existence secret from Steven.

Leading to the present status quo. One where Marc eats away at the poor man's life like a bottom-feeding parasite. Stealing time from Steven, on mornings that you wake in their bed. Hours that Marc could and should be ceding back to Steven. Instead, Marc finds himself lingering more and more often. Standing in the kitchen, cleaning up waiting for you to wake.

In the beginning he told himself that it was to keep an eye on you. After all, he can't have you wandering around in apartment flat and uncover something that is not meant for your eyes. But he'd be lying to himself if he said that was still the case. Because Marc trusts you after all.

No, he knows why he does this. Why he stays in the mornings, sat across you from the table, watching you eat with warmth fizzing pleasantly in his veins. He knows even if he'd never dare to put words to what it is.

He wants to take.

A heavy, sick feeling spreads in his stomach—his old familiar friends, shame and guilt—because Marc has already taken enough.

He doesn’t get to take this too. Doesn't get to think about what it's like when you and Steven are together.

That time belongs to Steven. You belong to Steven.

Marc is just an interloper.

His eyes pull back up from the floor of the bathroom and he catches himself frowning in the mirror.

He hasn’t moved his hand. His fingertips linger, thumb dragging over the pulse of his throat before pressing down on the bruise, hard. Digging in until he can feel the ache of it. Until the mark stings like it would have when it was freshly made by you.

A sharp thrill sparks down his spine, and warmth streaks across his lower stomach. Marc ignores it. Ignores the heavy ache that pools in his groin. It’s fine. As long as he ignores it, doesn't take things further, then he can let himself have… this. The fading echo of the love you have for Steven.

Marc leaves the hickey. 

He wears his civilian clothes when he goes out at night on Khonshu’s business so the suit won’t heal it.  Tries to avoid getting hurt so he won’t leave any other bruises for Steven to find. It feels strange. It's been a long time since Marc approached a fight with anything like caution.  

Over the course of the next week, he wakes up each night to see that the hickey has bloomed. Marc maps its journey as it spreads from the small spot on his throat up the length of it until it almost reaches his jaw. Then it begins to fade.

On the fourth day the stark red has grown subdued. By the fifth, the blotches on his skin are well on their way to healing. And on the sixth...

On the sixth day, Marc finds a second mark right below the fading one at the base of his neck and long red streaks marking scratches on his shoulder.

New marks keep appearing with each week. Small finger-nail shaped crescent moons on his shoulder blades. The indent of teeth on his clavicle. More hickeys, the small and gentle bruises scattered across the body like a treasure hunt for Marc to find.

He's not sure how he feels about that. Except that there's a strange and unsettling flutter deep in the pit of his stomach everytime he catches sight of one of them in the mirror.

Shit. He's probably not supposed to feel anything about them at all. After all, they shouldn't affect him one way or the other at all. None of them actually hurt.

Judging from the frequency they're appearing, Steven obviously likes them. What’s Marc gonna do about it? Sit you down over the breakfast table, as he ladles up pancakes on your plate and casually drops that he keeps finding marks you've left on Steven? That it makes him feel... (funny? strange? good?) some way about it?

No, this is fine.

There's nothing to be done with the strange situation the three of you find yourselves in. All Marc can do is catalog each and every one of them. Each and every bruise and scrape and bite you leave on Steven, pressing harsh fingers over them until the blunt ache sets in so that Marc can feel them too.

Nothing is wrong. It's fine.

As long as he doesn't think of anything more, doesn't let his mind wander, then Marc isn't crossing a line. After all, there's nothing else he can do about the situation.

The only thing he can do is to keep his silent inspection of each hickey and scratch left on the body. He tells himself it's because he has to know what's going on with the body. To make sure it’s in good enough condition for Khonshu’s missions. That’s all it is. It has nothing to do with the fact that it's a tiny window into the part of Steven's life with you that Marc won't let himself intrude or eavesdrop on.

He almost believes it.

And if there’s a bittersweet feeling that weighs heavy in his stomach, it doesn’t matter. He can ignore it. Marc is no stranger to wanting things he can't have, things he doesn't deserve.

It's fine.

Everything is fine.

And it would have kept on being fine if it weren’t for the fucking lipstick.

The first time it happens, Marc wakes up alone in the apartment slumped over a chair, a book in his lap. Steven must've fallen asleep while reading. Nothing unusual there.

Marc doesn't even notice anything’s wrong until he steps into the bathroom and catches sight of his reflection in the mirror.

Smears of glossy scarlet stand out glaringly against his skin. It's on his face, his mouth and neck, bright red like a traffic light, warning Marc to stop.

Against his better judgment, Marc doesn't heed the warning.

His hand comes up to trace a pristine, perfectly-defined lip print on his cheekbone, trying not to let himself imagine what caused it. He pushes the invading image of your smile and the sweet curve of your lips down into the depths of his mind where he can't reach.

This is different from the hickeys and scrapes. Completely superficial. There is no underlying injury for him to punish himself with, but he catalogs the marks anyway.

The one on his neck is less pristine, smeared at the edges. His fingers drag over the skin in the same place your lips would have.

There's a bright-red smear at the corner of his mouth.

Marc stares at that one for a long time, breath coming in faster and heavier as his fingers hover, not quite touching.

He doesn't dare touch it because he knows what sort of contact made those marks. Can almost feel the weight of your arms wrapped around his neck, the slight sting of your fingers twined into his hair. The bridge of your nose alongside his as your plush lips press to his in a desperate, devouring kiss.

Shit. Shit!

His heart thrashes hard and fast with the fluttering panic of a trapped hummingbird inside his chest. Stepping backwards, a rush of blood floods his body and he feels lightheaded with the pace of it.

He can't look at it. Has to turn sharply away. Grabs a washcloth and the soap and scrubs until his skin feels raw. He doesn't let himself look again until the marks are gone because it feels like crossing a line. One he wasn’t—isn’t—going to let himself cross.

"It's my four month anniversary with Steven," you tell Marc as you reach for the toasted bagel with cream cheese in front of him.

Marc slides the plate back out of your reach and begins to layer smoked salmon on top.

"Where are you two going?"

"Steven booked Gloria. It's the cute Italian place with all the flowery corner booths and pretty porcelain dishes, remember?"

He nods as though he has any idea which restaurant you’re talking about. He doesn’t. Marc doesn’t spy on Steven’s dates with you.

"Their truffle pizza is delish, and for dessert they have this heavenly lemon meringue pie which is—and I am not exaggerating in the slightest—eight inches tall.”

"Sounds nice," he says, adding the finishing touches to your bagel. He barely has time to place the last caper before you swipe the plate from his hands and take a large bite out of it.

You moan your approval, then chew and swallow, smiling at him as you lick your fingers clean, and Marc doesn’t let himself think about anything at all.

"We'll go there sometime," you say, and it makes Marc stop in his tracks. "We can share it together."

He doesn't say that there’s no way in hell.  Doesn't tell you that he doesn’t get to be together with you outside of the bubble that is these stolen mornings here in Steven's apartment. Doesn’t try to explain why somehow that would be crossing the last tenuous line he's set for himself.

Instead he turns around, stowing the cream cheese back in the fridge and steadfastly ignoring the insistent itch under the collar of his shirt. Your latest mark is there, simmering with heat where the shape of your lips are still branded onto his skin.

"Sounds nice," he says again.

Marc doesn't peek on your date with Steven.

It's not easy to stay away. His consciousness keeps floating to the surface, an involuntary reaction to Steven's feverish excitement that buoys Marc closer to awareness. Trapped in the dark purgatory where he’s peripherally aware of the palm of their hands going clammy with sweat and the whole of their body flashing hot and cold. He has to constantly swim down into the nothingness to avoid being inadvertently pushed to the front.

But Marc holds steady, even when he can feel their heart pounding away in their chest like Steven is running a goddamn marathon. He's determined to let you and Steven keep your private time private. The two of you don’t need him hanging around peeping like some perverted fly on the wall.

But…

It's a special kind of hell when Steven gets this excited.

It takes everything Marc has in him to fight the instinct to step in and take over, but he manages it somehow, holding on by his metaphorical fingernail until Steven finally succumbs to an exhausted sleep.

As the first dim light of the morning sun slinks through the windows, Marc wakes to find himself in bed, tangled up in twisted sheets.

His thighs ache, his back is stiff and it takes him several moments to orientate himself. Sandy-eyed and more exhausted than he should be, he peels back the bedding, to reveal…

Red.

His bare chest and stomach are smeared in bright crimson red. 

Blood. 

He's covered in it.

Adrenaline cracks through him, bright and sickening, and Marc jolts upright. 

Oh fuck, what has he done now?

No. He forces himself to regulate his breathing, air hissing between his teeth as his chest heaves. It couldn't have been him. 

The last thing he can remember is ceding the body to Steven, and then the fight to keep his consciousness submerged. Steven wouldn’t have done this either, which means– Shit! Shit!!

It's everywhere. 

Splotches parade across his torso, bright and glossy and so very red. Really red, almost… too red. He tips his chin down to get a closer look, and…

There's a perfectly defined shape of a set of lips on his left pec.

Marc stares at it, then raises a trembling hand to press two fingers over the ruby red lip-print and sags with relief.

Not blood. It's fucking lipstick. 

Your lipstick.

His face prickles with heat, his fingers trembling against the skin of his chest.

There's another, less well defined print next to it, and he traces that one as well, and then the red ring smeared around his nipple. He follows the trail of color down his chest and abdomen. It's fucking everywhere. Way more lipstick than could possibly come from a single application.

Marc can picture it. Fuck, he is picturing it, as clear as day. Your bright eyes gazing up at him through lush lashes as you kiss your way down his– down Steven's heaving chest, pausing your assault every now and then to reapply your lip color. The tip of the waxy red stick smoothing over your plush lips, leaving the shiny red color behind. The way you would purse your mouth before leaning back down to stamp another mark upon his skin.

Marc's fingertips brush over another red smear low on his belly. One that’s just barely visible before it disappears under the edge of the sheet.

There’s static in his head, so loud that it drowns out everything else. He can barely hear his own thoughts so it’s easy to ignore the little voice in his head screaming that this is a bad idea and push the sheets aside to follow the red streak down the crease of his thigh.

Tired muscles jump under the brush of his fingers, skin prickling, and he's suddenly, uncomfortably aware that he's hard. Achingly so, his dick throbbing just inches from where he's touching the trail of lipstick on his skin.

The soft cotton of the sheets drags against his overly-sensitive skin as he shoves it the rest of it off, and–

Fuck.

He stops, every muscle in him tensing up because the red smears and kiss marks don't end with the one on his hip. Of course they fucking don't. They continue down the sparse trail of hair leading to his groin where there's a perfect bright red ring circling his aching dick, right below the leaking head.

There’s several rings, the red streaked and smeared up and down the length of him. Oh fuck.

His dick pulses, jerking against his stomach, and a drop of precome wells from the tip. He watches as it rolls slowly across the flat plane of the head which is graced with a single, only-slightly smeared kiss mark.

Marc feels that mark as if it were branded onto him.

He takes himself in hand without thought, thumb slicking though the slippery fluid, smearing it across the impression of your lips. His whole body jerking as he grinds his thumb into that red spot, pressing as though he could somehow imprint your touch into his skin—into the very fabric of his torn and fucked up soul.

He gets lost in the feeling, pleasure just short of pain that has him shuddering and shaking under his own touch. Lets go only long enough to lock his fingers over the circle of scarlet right under the head of his dick. Then it’s on to the other ones, covering each of the marks in turn, squeezing and sliding between them, rubbing the seemingly endless stream of precome he’s oozing over his cock. The lipstick spreads, smearing further until it’s staining his hand as well. The skin of his palm and the length of his dick both streaked with that bright alarming red.

Everything aches. It's overwhelming. Sharp pleasure pushes along every nerve, filling up every empty crevice in his hollow chest until there’s no room left for anything else, and he doesn't know if it's from the touch of his own hand or the knowledge that these marks are from you (from your soft, plush mouth wrapped around his dick) or both.

Marc doesn't do this.

He doesn’t do slow. Or soft. Doesn't let himself indulge in this kind of languid, drawn-out touches.

Sure, he jerks off. When the need arises, he takes care of it. He handles his hard-on the same way he deals with the other tasks involved in the upkeep of their body—with little patience and just enough effort to get it over and done with as efficiently as possible.

More often than not, it's him in the shower, fisting his cock with quick, perfunctory motions as he stares at the wall and tries not to think of anything at all (something that's been harder than usual these past few months). It's something he does as a matter of routine. Just one more item on his hygiene checklist: wash hair, jerk off, wash body, dry off, brush teeth.

This is.... not that.

If he stopped long enough to acknowledge what it is he's doing. To put words to what this is, he's not sure he can think of anything but "fucked up". Fucked up and entirely alien and new to him. Slick and soft and slow. The drag of his fingers over the stained, sensitive flesh of his straining, aching dick almost sensual, and it drives a low, guttural gasp from his lips.

The sound is met by a sleepy sigh from behind him, and Marc freezes.

Fuck.

He doesn’t dare turn his head to confirm what he already knows. That you must have spent the night with Steven, and you’re still lying there in his bed now. 

And Marc is sitting less than an arm's length away from your sleeping body, smearing your lipstick up and down the length of his leaking, jerking cock.

And you're about half a second from waking up and catching him red handed and realizing just how fucking disgusting he is.

Terror spears through him as images of what happens next flash behind his eyes.

The shock on your face. Your redredred lips parted in surprise and disbelief. How disbelief would shade into horrified disgust when you see the proof of just how fucked up he is; the way he's made himself sick with yearning over you. Over something that's not his—could never be his because you're a thousand times too good for him.

Marc wants nothing more than to curl up into himself and disappear forever, but he forces himself up and out of bed. Keeping his back towards you, he retreats toward the bathroom as quickly and quietly as he can manage. He doesn't dare turn around. 

If your eyes are on him… 

If it's already too late…

He doesn't want to know.

That resolve lasts until he's reached the questionable safety of the bathroom. He can't help but sneak one a last look over his shoulder at you as he slides the door closed.

Your eyes are closed. Thank fuck. The knot of fear in his chest loosens slightly at the sight of you sleeping peacefully, unaware of his disturbing behavior.

But– Oh fuck, your lips. 

The delicate contours of your plush mouth are smeared and stained with the same color that's streaked across his body, a fucking beacon in stoplight red. 

His skin, every square inch that's tinted with the evidence of your touch, starts to burn, and Marc burns with it.

He doesn’t remember shutting the door. Doesn’t remember turning to press his back to the wall. Marc comes back to awareness staring down at one of his hands where it’s wrapped around his aching, leaking, red-smeared dick. The other hand is pressed against the lip print on his chest, fingernails digging in. A bright spark of pain courses through him, and he pushes harder, clawing at the stained flesh as though, if he just presses hard enough, he can peel back the layers of himself to reveal the memory of what it felt like to have your lips against his skin.

Marc is excruciatingly aware that he is fucking things up. Has fucked them all to hell and back already. 

The line he told himself he would never cross is somewhere miles behind him along with his self control and any shred of decency. This is wrong. He should not be doing this. Has no fucking business with his hand anywhere near his dick when his mind is full of you.

The knowledge of how fucked up all of this is, makes him slow his strokes. Guilt and shame weigh him down, as heavy as Khonshu’s armor, flooding his body almost as thoroughly as pleasure. 

But he still can’t make himself stop.

The floodgates are open. Marc can’t stop rubbing his dick any more than he can stop seeing you, eyes wide and knowing; your ruby red lips pressed to his, sliding over his stomach, wrapped around his cock. 

His chest heaves, breath stuttering painfully in his lungs. His fingers tighten around his cock, and the pleasure that sears through his veins is blinding. It’s consuming, all-encompassing, burning through  every reservation and shred of morality until it robs him of the ability to tell right from wrong. 

Everything is a haze. There are no thoughts left in his head. Nothing left except you.

All he can think of is the look of pure delight on your face after you take your first bite of the breakfasts he makes for you. The way he'll sometimes catch you gazing at his back when he's standing by the stove and you think he can’t see. The forty-five minutes each morning that you're his alone.

Warmth seeps through his chest and takes root beneath his ribs, a counterpoint to the almost painful heat rippling in his gut. It climbs his spine and spreads outward along his limbs until all of him, from his stomach to the tip of his head, is filled with the sensation. It feels good. In a way that Marc can't ever remember having felt.

There's a strange sound pushing against his throat, and if Marc wasn't so far gone, he'd register it as sounding dangerously close to a whimper.

His eyes flutter open, (and fuck he can't remember when he even closed them) to find himself staring up at a stranger in the mirror. He doesn't recognize this man. The messy black hair that falls over his brow doesn't belong to him. Nor do the swollen lips, parted slightly as if their owner is about to plead for something. Dark eyes have gone glassy and wet, with an unfamiliar drunken glaze. 

He doesn't know this man, but it’s not him.

Can’t be him. 

Or maybe it is. 

Need, ugly and grasping, is written across his face. He can feel it dripping out of him, can see the full extent of his depravity, staring back at him.  He looks desperate, nearly unhinged. 

Out of control. 

All the things he doesn’t get to be, because he’ll just fuck things up.

But that doesn’t stop the jagged heat blossoming in his stomach. It starts from the tip of his toes, wrapping his limb with aching bliss until his knees go weak and he's nearly doubling over unable to hold his own weight.

His hips cant up to meet each stroke of his hand. Chasing after the pleasure eagerly, even as the residual shame clings to every inch of him.

He presses his eyes shut again so he doesn't have to look at himself in the eye as the looming promise of his orgasm rises higher.

He regrets it immediately. 

In the dark, without the distraction of his reflection to look at, there's nothing to stop his mind from filling the blank space with you.

Your gaze from across the room.

Your touch when the back of your hand accidentally brushes against his when you help him with the dishes.

Your voice...

“Together,” you'd told him yesterday. You'd go tho the restaurant together. As if you two were a couple.

The breath catches in his lungs, searing pleasure streaking along his limbs, achingly sweet and…

Wrong.

This is so fucking wrong.

Wrong of him to think of you here with him. Wrong to imagine the warmth of your body pressed against his, your smaller hand wrapped around him in place of his own. Wrong to wonder how soft your lips would be, trailing down the length of his neck, teeth sinking into his neck to leave another fresh mark, one meant only for him.

The feeling is too large, too overwhelming. It's fucking unbearable. Pleasure doubling and redoubling to fill every inch of flesh, every cell, until his body feels alien to him.

It rips through him, chaotic and endless. A cacophony of static, fills his head as his climax explodes through him. Pulse after agonizingly blissful pulse rips through him, and he spills himself across the white porcelain of the sink.

It goes on and on and on until he's empty and wrung out.

Until the only thing left in is the harsh noise of his uneven breathing wheezing out of his chest and the acidic guilt and shame that are lodged in his throat like bile that he can't spit out.

The strength has been zapped out of his limbs. His knees are weak, threatening to give way, and his hands shoot out, gripping the sides of the cold and dirty sink as he slumps forward, barely holding himself upright. His forehead is pressed against the cool glass of the mirror, but refuses to look at his reflection. 

It's there all the same. The incriminating flush of his skin nearly as red as the marks from your lipstick. The evidence of your lips pressed to his skin with intent, with care, with…  love. 

But not for Marc. 

It’s never going to be for Marc. 

He closes his eyes again and lets the world fade away. 

Dedications:

To my favorite clown @thirstworldproblemss who had her mastery hands all over this and wrote majority of this pieces (all the best parts of it).

Also dedicated to @guruan who is currently in tumblr jail and if tumblr could let her out that would be great!!! I need my beautiful MK boys in art form and Leslie's presence in my life on tumblr.

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