#but the more ben talks about him the more i'm like...aw what a cool guy

[askbensolo]

Hoooooo boy.

Dang I'm real sorry you had to go through that Ben, that sucks all over.

I have to say though, I think you maybe dodged a blaster bolt here.

A relationship ought to be made up of people with good communication and similar values and expectations, and if those arn't there, there really isn't much point to it.

It seems like both of you definitely have a roadblock in communication going, and while that could definitely be overcome, truth is it sounds like Fanny has very different wants/needs/expectations for her future.

She seems to definitely expect there to be some sort of physical relationship eventually. Wether she just expects it due to thinking that's just how "relationships" work, or something she actually wants for herself, just on her own time table, it does sound from what you wrote that she is at least more interested/affected by sex then you are.

It also sounds from her saying she wants to wait for her first kiss to be with someone she's engaged to, and that she's liked you for years but was willing to suffer in silence that she's a romantic at heart. She will want you to do romantic things for her in order to feel loved and appreciated.

And if neither sex nor romance are things you feel like you could ever want, I wouldn't go through with this. Both of you will just end up miserable, and neither of you deserve that.

Best of luck man, and sorry again that you have to deal with this

Hiiiii I'm sober tonight but I had a pretty good day today so I think I can handle this one on jellyfruit sparkling water alone.

So…the idea of romance is beginning to grow on me, even if it’s hard for me to pick out what makes it different from friendship. I can kind of sort it out by asking myself whether the things I’d like to do with her are different from things I’d like to do with my college buddies, and—yeah. Yeah, they are. Sorry, Treeso ol’ pal, but I’m not about to slow-dance in the kitchen with you—not without an unhealthy amount of alcohol, anyway. I’m probably never gonna be as much of a hopeless romantic as Fannie is, but…I think there are things I could learn. I even think I could kiss her one day. Just…just not yet.

But…sex is different. I don’t know if…I can ever do that.

And you're right. That's a whole ‘nother thing to think about in this whole mess. At first, I thought Fannie and I were alike, since she's so…you know…vanilla. But I know she wants to be married, and she wants to have children, and...she probably wants other things too, like you said.

Part of it is just how I've always been. As if there was some kind of developmental stage that just never occurred for me (psychologically, I mean). But I think some of it has to do with...Snoke. He took residence in my mind for years, and although I was sixteen when he first made contact, who knows how long he was there before that? And then eventually he won my trust and affections, and began to meet with me outside of my mind...and even though the memories are fuzzy...I remember certain things. He used to hold me in his arms while I cried. Cradle my face in his hands. Run his fingers through my hair. I kissed him on the cheek once, in the sunken hollow of his scars. Don't get me wrong, he and I never did anything weird together, but—

...No, what am I saying? Everything I just said is super weird. Aren’t I insane, trying to claim it wasn't weird I kissed an ancient raisin freak on his nasty, crusty face when I was a teenage boy—

But it was also the things he did to me mentally that stick with me. He used to probe my thoughts at night, and even though he could do that without actually touching me, it was...just as bad as it sounds. I remember being scared and skinny and sixteen, lying on my back and staring at the ceiling, trying to keep still while he entered my head. Trying to relax so that it wouldn’t hurt as much. I’d feel his presence pushing against the perimeter of my mind, harder and harder, until my resistance snapped, like a rubber band stretched to its limit, and then it was like my soul ruptured and bled out all around me on the bed while his cold bony hands were feeling around my brain, and pulling stuff out, and examining things, and rearranging them, while I kind of went into shock and laid there frozen with tears streaming down my face and waited for him to be done—

Actually no I don't want to talk about this anymore. Throwing up in my mouth just a little bit.

...Sparkling water break. Ahh, the refreshing taste of carbonated water that was once in the same room as someone imagining a jellyfruit.

But, yeah…I just can’t think about being naked with someone, without being reminded of how that felt.

Um—I wasn’t physically naked with him. Again, I hate that that’s something I legitimately need to clarify. Just…naked in every single other sense of the word, to the point that I may as well have been.

And…it’s hard for me sometimes, because it sort of makes me feel like…like I’m not a guy or something. I mean, I know I’m a guy, I just mean…most guys aren’t afraid of sex. Quite the opposite, in fact. You remember I was homeschooled, right? Well, I learned a lot of new things in college. And I learned to pretend like I wasn’t afraid, you know, when the fellas were hanging out and swapping stories, and I’d just sit there, and try to laugh at the appropriate times…

I kind of told Treeso a little bit, since we were close buds. Not about Snoke specifically, but just…that something bad had happened to me when I was a teenager. Treeso was a solid dude, despite presenting like your typical frat bro, and he started taking me to the gym and joked that he was gonna make sure I got jacked so no one could ever hurt me again. I don’t think Snoke would be deterred by my biceps…but I did get a lot more confident.

And more physically attractive. I mean. Come on. I know I look good. I like looking good. But it never changed how I felt about…you know.

So…yeah. I never really worked on addressing this particular little trauma, since A) um…AUGHHHHHHHGHHGHHH and B) it didn’t seem like a problem, since I was so sure I was gonna be single forever. When this whole thing with Fannie started, I thought about it only a little...and part of me was like, hey, maybe she’d be okay with not...really...doing that?

But…that’s kind of a huge ask, isn’t it. It doesn’t make sense to me, but sex is kind of a big deal to most people, huh.

...Who knows. Maybe it would have been to me, too, if I hadn’t been…if Snoke hadn’t…

...I mean...what if this isn't just "how I am"? What if he made me this way, and now there's just a crucial part of my adult self that never got to form, that's broken, that I’ll never experience the same way other people do, that I can never get back, and...that I can never offer her…

...Oh Force. The sparkling water cannot save me. I know I like her. I know I love her. I'm even pretty sure now that I'm in love with her. But everything's all wrong, and I'm all wrong, I'm so screwed up, I'm screwed up in ways I've never fully realized, and probably screwed up in ways I don't even know yet—I mean look at me I’m not even a real man I mean what an absolute loser how can I look so damn good without a shirt but totally freak at the thought of getting in bed?? I'm such a weak kriffing beta failure I freaking hate myself and I bet she’d only end up hating me too and—and—and—okay, calm down, Ben, calm down, keep it chill…

…Okay. So. Clearly, this will not be my last time thinking about this. I am very tempted to throw it out of my brain and never think about it again, but…no. This feels…important to me.

Note to self. Need to buy more sparkling water.

[thebluestbluewords]

rumors of his death have been greatly exaggerated

"How's your brother doing, dear?" Fairy Godmother asks, taking Chloe's hand as she comes up to the teacher's table. "Is he enjoying his graduation trip?"  

Chloe tips her head sweetly to the side. "What brother?" 

Fairy Godmother looks puzzled. "Your only brother, dear one. Unless your parents have adopted another without telling me?" 

"Oh, that brother. I haven't seen him since..." Chloe hesitates. "The incident." 

"I'm sorry?" 

Chloe beams. "The incident. It's a family matter, I'm really not supposed to talk about it. I'm sure he's fine, though. Mother isn't too worried about him." 

You could make a topographical map out of the folds in Fairy Godmother's forehead. "Yes, of course. I'm sure that must be hard on your mother, not having her son around." 

"She endures." Chloe says cheerfully. "I should really go get dinner before I hold up the line. I'll see you in class tomorrow. I've already got my Fairy History essay ready for you!" 

"That's lovely, yes." Fairy Godmother says, still frowning. "And Red, you've got all your books? Everything you need?' 

Red lifts her chin. She's not just a passive observer, even though whatever's going on with her royal roommate's missing brother sounds horrifically fascinating.  "I'm all set. Wonderland post sent my books last week." 

"Lovely, lovely. I'll see you two in class tomorrow." 

"Goodnight, Fairy Godmother." Chloe chirps, bobbing into a half-curtsy before she moves away. 

Red will not curtsy, but she dips her head in the vague shape of a bow. "Goodnight." 

+

"So." Red says, once the two of them are out of the dining hall and on their way back to the dorm room they're going to be sharing. "You've got a brother?" 

Chloe looks at her sideways, without moving her head. "No. I've got a Chad." 

There's a particular darkness in her voice at the name, like how Red wants to say Jabberwocky sometimes, when they've been especially bad. 

"I take it you're not a fan." Red says, because it's stupid to ask questions, but she's the princess of Wonderland, and she should know her neighboring kingdom's royal families. "Is he really awful?" 

"The worst." Chloe says lightly. "He's not at home right now, though, so we've all had a bit of a rest." 

All? 

"All." Red repeats. "How big is your family?" 

"Big enough." 

It's dumb to play evasive word games with a Wonderland girl. "Big enough to fill a carriage?" 

Chloe sighs. "Bigger." 

"Big enough to fill a limo?" 

"Bigger, if you're counting everyone." 

"I'm asking you to tell me about your family, Auradon girl," Red says, leaning in towards Chloe, making it a flirty request, rather than a desperate dig for information. "Aren't you guys supposed to love talking about yourself?" 

Chloe shoots her a certified look. "My family is weird. You don't need to know about them, it's just...my brother is off on a mission to find himself, or something. He graduated in the same class as King Ben, so people are still going to ask about him, because one weird girl who plays with swords for fun isn't enough for the royal gossip tabloids." 

"Swords." Red drawls. 'Very royal." 

Chloe huffs out a tight little breath. "Yes, swords. I'm on the ROAR team. Royal Order of Auradon Regiment. We practice running through obstacle courses with swords for fun, and I'm actually really good at it, so please, please don't make fun of me. I know I'm not a very proper princess, but I really do love it, and my mom doesn't care what I do so long as I don't mess up my face, so just-- just stop it. I'll tell you about my brother if you really want, just..." 

"Swords are cool." Red blurts, before she can think twice about it. "Your brother sounds like a lame-ass anyway. Tell me more about your sword game?" 

Stupid, stupid. Asking about her sports team? Super lame behavior. Not cool at all, Red. 

Chloe looks up at her through her lashes. "You're making fun of me again." 

Red's heart skips a little beat. She's not sure if it's from shame or the huge, embarrassing, terrible crush that she's trying really hard to squash. "I'm not. Promise." 

"It's okay that you are. Everyone does, once they hear about my hobbies," Chloe says softly. "I'm not cool like my brother, or popular like my sisters. I'm the youngest child in my family, so everyone babies me all the time anyway. I don't mind it usually." 

She's twisting her hands together, looking down at her fingers. She's not wearing any royal rings or anything. Red's been wearing rings since she was a kid, to show her status and to punch people better. She wouldn't know what to do with hands that are so soft and naked. Does she hold them? Give Chloe one of her own rings? Tell her she's an idiot for declining any symbols of her royal status and get her mother to give her at least a small family ring? 

"I'm not actually a very good princess." Chloe says after a moment. "I just let people tell me what to do all the time. I just follow the rules and practice with my sword and read a lot of books. I'm not brave like my mother. You're probably braver than me. Coming to a new country, a new school, all by yourself... that's really brave." 

"Thanks."

Chloe's eyes are enormous. "Yeah." she whispers, soft and sweet and so, so close to Red. "I think you're really brave." 

Red lifts a hand to touch her roommate's cheek. "Brave enough to hear the truth about your brother?" 

Chloe's face falls. 

Red's heart sinks right along with it. 

"No. You don't want the truth anyway, it's boring." Chloe says, turning around to unlock their door.  "Anyway, I'm sure everything is boring compared to Wonderland, so I won't make you listen to me any longer. Goodnight, Red." 

Their door shuts before she can come up with a comeback. 

Fine. If her roommate won't tell her what's going on, Red will just have to figure it out herself. 

+ 

The next person to ask about Chloe's alleged brother gets an even less helpful answer. 

"I lost him." Chole says sweetly. "At sea. We went out on the yacht to celebrate his graduation, you know, after the...incident." 

The student nods seriously. It would be stupid to roll her eyes, but Red's patience for these delays is short already, so she does it behind Chloe's back. Really subtly. 

Chloe bobs her head in a little nod that could almost be serious, if she didn't look so pleased about it. "Yeah, so we were out on the ocean, and he just fell overboard. We lost him. Mom threw him one of the inflatable life rafts, but you know how Chad is about accepting help, so once it hit the water he just started swimming away. At the rate he was going, he's probably in the Southern Isles by now." 

+

It happens again. 

"He's at home, helping mother weed the library. We have a curse, you know. Roses keep growing in the fiction section, and it takes all hands on desk to clear it out." Chloe says, flashing the girl a bright smile. "The only reason I'm exempt is because mother and father don't trust me not to solve the problem with my sword.” 

The girl frowns. “Chad, weeding?” 

“Oh, yes. He wouldn’t usually, but mother asked him specifically. He’s really a mother’s boy at heart. It’s sweet how much he’d do for her.” 

Red watches the girl digest this. 

“Aw. That is sweet.” 

Chloe beams. “Isn’t it? He’s just the best. I bet if you run to the library now you could understand just how he feels right now, surrounded by all those books.” 

+ 

And again. 

“He’s joined the astronaut training program.” Chloe says. Her face is set in a very serious expression, which is only fitting considering that she’s talking to the head of their math department. “We haven’t seen him in ages, but he’s supposed to be on the moon base soon, so every time we look up back home we wave to him. It’s a new Charmington family tradition.” 

“That’s very nice, dear.” 

“If you want to join the SpaceChad fan club you can go to the royal media page our sister set up,” Chloe says sweetly. “It’s online under SpaceCaseChad dot com. There’s lots of good pictures.” 

Their teacher pinches the bridge of her nose. “Very nice story, Chloe. I’m sorry I asked.” 

“Princess Celeste puts a lot of work into it.” 

“I’m sure she does. Now sit down so you can learn some theorems.” 

Red looks the page up. 

It’s full of press pictures of Chad Charming, the only Prince of the Kingdom of Charmington, heir apparent of the second biggest kingdom in all Auradon, poorly edited to look like he’s floating in space. 

And wearing cat ears. 

The animated sparkle in his eyes is a nice touch. Red appreciates the sort of effort that goes into these things. The effort that’s been put into adding a tiny rocket ship under his boots is less impressive, but the way that the rocket bursts into animated flames every fourth edit is much funnier than it seems the first time you scroll past it. 

She’s starting to think that her roommate might actually be on to something here. 

+ 

The fifth time it happens, Red's pretty sure she's in on the joke. 

Before Chloe can come up with another smartmouth answer, Red gasps. The student who asked this time is some girl in a cheerleader uniform, and she looks like an easy target, so Red throws her whole body into it. Mouth open, eyes wide, and a gasp so theatrical even her mother would be proud of it. 

"You can't just ask that!" Red gasps, sweeping an arm around Chloe's shoulders. "Oh my gods, why would you even ask when it's still so fresh?" 

The cheerleader gapes. "I— what—?” 

"You don't just ask a royal family member what happened to her only brother," Red snaps. "It's not done. My mother could have your head for it. Chloe, are you okay?" 

Her roommate is shaking in her arms. Red's never tried to be a good person, but there's a feeling building in her that might be what goodness feels like. It's sort of like when she drinks the special unbirthday tea that she’s not supposed to touch, and a little bit like when she's in on a secret with her mom. Giddy, that's the feeling. 

The cheerleader's hands are on her cheeks now. "I didn't mean any harm, I'm sorry. Oh my god, Chloe, I'm so sorry. Is he okay?" 

Chloe's face is buried wholly and completely in Red's shoulder, and she's a warm, comfortable, shaking weight that's making it hard for her to think straight.  There's so many horrible things that can happen to a prince, and only so many ways to say it... 

"She doesn't know." Red says, pulling Chloe in a little tighter so her giggles can't spoil the illusion. "The last thing she knew he was visiting friends in Fairyland, and then he started sending letters written on leaves instead of paper, and now..." she hesitates. 

"Now?" 

"He just sends the leaves." Red finishes. 

The cheerleader gasps. “I bet there's pollen all over his beautiful hair too!" 

Seriously? 

"We can only assume." Red says, face just as solemn as her mother's court isn't. "It's a real shame. The fairies want a princess on a milk-white horse to get him back, and she's got to ride in on the darkest night of the year too. Holding the moon in a jar as her guide." 

The girl looks about five seconds from whipping out her phone to write the lies down. "A real princess? Or would like, a pop princess work instead? Chad always said how much he loved Marcielle Lance. I bet he'd love me forever if I sent... I mean, if somebody tipped her off that the Prince of Charmington needed her to save him from Fairyland." 

"The letters didn't say." Red shrugs. "But it never hurts to try, I guess." 

The cheerleader is practically vibrating. "I've got to go make a— I mean, get to class! Thanks, though!" 

Red lifts a hand to her retreating back. "Buh-bye.” 

+ 

Time travel vertigo is a pain in the butt to recover from. 

Red falls into Chloe as soon as the world stops reshaping itself around them. 

Chloe shoves her off. “Where are we?” 

“More like when are we.” Red corrects, staggering upright. “And I think the answer is not far enough. Look, that roof looks exactly like it does now.” 

“It’s a roof.” 

“Yeah, and all the fancy pants brochures that you sent to Wonderland while we were sealed off from the rest of the world show that roof looking different than it does now. In our current time. Because it’s new, princess. We got brochures about replacing it.” 

Chloe closes her eyes. Red can see her breathing slowly, and stifles a grin. Her roommates hates being wrong, which works out great, because Red loves seeing her royal highness mad. 

“We can’t be here. We have to leave, now.” 

“We just got here. The watch has a cooldown time of one minute for every year travelled. We can’t leave yet.” 

“No, we have to leave.” Chloe grabs Red’s hand. “My bother is here. This is two years ago. He’s going to be here, on campus, and he’s going to recognize me, and our whole cover is going to be blown if we alter time in ways we weren’t expecting!” 

Oh, no.

“No,” Red says slowly, stretching out her words around the grin that’s threatening to take over her whole face. “No, I don’t think we do have to leave. After all the stories I’ve heard about this brother, I wanna meet this guy.” 

“You don’t.” 

“He’s an Olympic level swimmer, an astronaut, a curse-breaking mommy’s boy, and he was interesting enough to get kidnapped by fairies? I can’t wait to meet him.” 

Chloe stomps her foot. “You know that’s not true. I make all that stuff up, because—“ 

“Because why, princess?” 

“Because the real reason is boring.” 

Red glances down at the pocketwatch. One minute left until they can leave. “After growing up in wonderland, you think I don’t like boring? My mother is trying to stage a coup as we speak. She raised me on a diet of all-excitement, all the time. I want boring. I love boring. Please, for the love of time, give me something boring to think about until we can get out of here.” 

Chloe glares. “No.” 

“What?” 

“No. I’m not telling you. The longer we stand here arguing the closer we are to getting out of here. I don’t have to tell you, I just have to stall until we’re out of time.” 

“Bold words from the girl who’s not carrying the time machine.” 

“You want to get out of here just as much as I do,” Chloe says, logically. Oh, how much Red wants to hate her. “You’re not going to leave us here, in the wrong time, just because you want to know where my brother’s hiding.” 

Red leans in. “Hiding, huh?” 

“You—“ Chloe slaps a hand over her own mouth. “I’m not saying another word. We can’t alter time before we’re supposed to, it’s too risky.” 

“Twenty seconds. Tick tock, princess. I could leave you here if you won’t tell me.” 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“You don’t know what I’d do.” Red hisses, leaning in so close that she can see the way Chloe’s eyes are tracking the motion of the pocketwatch. Her roommate’s eyes are pretty. It’s not fair that she’s got such an awful habit of keeping secrets to offset her pretty face. 

“I’ll tell you,” Chloe offers. “But only once we turn the watch.” 

“Deal.” 

“Now.” 

Red cranks the watch, but carefully this time, so that her fingers don’t slip before they’re ready and send them another two or three years back. 

“You’re sure you want to know?” 

The watch is hot in her hand. The dial is shivering under her fingers. “Yes, I’m sure.” 

Chloe throws an arm around her waist, and grabs the watch out of her hand. “He shaved his head and got too embarrassed to show his face in public!” 

[shy-magpie]

RQG 167

So storm time? With Zolf in peril and everyone else trapped in a cell together because when we asked for them to be forced to actually talk a finger curled on Alex's monkey paw.

Bryn just advised them to go into full rebellion if Alex tries to slam cut them past bits they want to do but he had a definite laugh in his voice. Alex responded by implying he'd bribe them with swords and cool jackets. So I think this is run of the mill guy stuff rather than actual power games like the bowling alley ads. I mean if Alex was serious he has to know that slam cut to cyberpunk/anime future is nothing compared to slam cut to wings right?

Movie advert voices from the boys as they add on to Alex's "last time on RQG".

Will save, hm just general principle or is it to resist having their heads messed with by the storm?

Will Save, hm just general principle or is it to resist having their heads messed with by the storm?

The Cohort are rolled as one, but they do better than Skraak.

Ok the magic levels vary so they won't be stuck in the cell the whole time.

Azu sits next to Kiko, her little finger is on Kiko's in "an unspoken pinky swear everything is going to be okay". Alex really does know when to indulge us. The players take this as proof Alex is going to take Kiko away from Helen/Azu. Well yes after a fashion, we've known from the beginning she is probably going to side with Earhardt in the near inevitable mutany. Have to let Azu & Kiko properly bond for it to hurt properly when that doesn't change.

Aw Hamid checks in with Azu because he remembers her claustrophobia.

The sense motive isn't on Azu, but with only an 8 Alex doesn't tell us what it was.

Cel wants to improve the box, but can't find anything but busy work. Cel is mostly just going over it with a fine tooth comb for minor improvements.

Bryn wasn't entirely joking about them just taking control of the camera at the beginning of the episode apparently and circles back around to his check on Azu when Alex makes moving on noises. Azu appreciates it.

Zolf time. Big broad question from Alex: survival check or profession sailor for what style Zolf is steering the ship. Ben doesn't let him finish the question before saying he will stick with Sailor since it has the higher stat. He then gets 28 on his first roll and Alex accuses him of sounding smug; which the rest of the table protests. Yeah it was more pleased/satisfied than lets say "she can't one shot me I'll take the hit".

Weird energy from Alex & the players, not sure if its they are in a weird mood to face the storm or having the storm scene put them in a weird mood. Either way hope its not the podcast part pressuring them to go forward on a session they would have rescheduled in a regular game. A lot of Alex's suggestions from the sensitivity special were things like snack breaks that don't work in remote sessions. Whatever, I'm just a listener, I need to trust them to know when to call it and keep my analysis on the characters not the players.

Zolf has to sail straight through it. Not seeing any metaphors in "the best way out is through" (my phrasing not a quote) nope.

Huh the Ursa Major seem to have left their bodies on peaks to be as high as possible. Smart enough to be magic worshipers maybe?

Borealis makes light wobbly like a cartoon heat haze. The lines of color are tangible bits the ship can touch.

Zolf is nervous whistling and casts Resistance which lasts for a minute right as the ship touches it. Bryn reminds him that Hamid cast Heroism last session.

Zolf ties himself to the wheel as the Borealis effect of the world smearing like a water color and going back to normal only to do it again approaches.

The box makes a pleasant bell sound as the effect reaches them.

The effect happens to Zolf's body. The chiming sound can be heard coming from the

Hamid proposes "two truths & a lie" to pass time. He has to explain it to them.

Carter goes first

Hamid points out there are plenty of Egyptologists in Egypt when he tries to claim he is the best in the world.

Zolf feels powerful urge to sleep.

Wilde is back on form and when Hamid suggests he or Miek (I think, one of the Cohort?) go next he asks who defines the truth. Hard to tell the degree to which he actually doesn't get it vs is focusing on Hamid's actual goal by drawing attention and distracting everyone. This is painfully in old!Oscar's wheelhouse, but after that Earhardt sex joke I am not sure if he can keep up a line of patter without it blowing up somehow. People like him often mistake being able to smooth things over after they've crossed the line with a knack for not crossing it in the first place.

Yeah this is going to go well/sarcasm: his first statement is that he had genuine feelings for Bertie. Because we really need the party to process tonight that, even only knowing of him second hand, everyone has seen through him except Hamid. Alex better not bring Aziza into this.

Second point: Oscar was shy as a child to the point of wearing disguises.

Third point: He loves Harrison Campbell novels.

Well now I don't know which I want to be the lie: the second one is painful for a truth to trust them with; Hamid having his feelings about his friend being seduced and embarrassed in the paper being brought up might clear the air either way; if even Oscar likes the books Hamid might let go of his attitude about them but it might be better if he has someone who isn't an active fan. Just as there is nothing wrong in liking them, there is nothing wrong in not liking them as long as you aren't judgy about it and Hamid is pretty good about keeping his opinion of them to himself.

Alex has them roll a perception check. The Kobolds are asleep, if the storm encourages them to sleep through it rather than stress that is a gift horse I am looking right in the mouth.

Hamid asks Cel's help to draw a curtain around them out of respect for their taboo on people knowing where they sleep. Cel points out it would be safer to be able to see everyone. I am pleased Hamid suggested it, but have to side with Cel, its a good thought but they did fall asleep in plain view which was either a decision or proof we need to keep an eye out for things making decisions for them. Hamid yields quickly. Poor Cel sounds scared something will go wrong with the box.

Hamid goes back to the game. Wilde frowns and says they've been spending to much time together when Hamid says the lie was Oscar being shy as a child and that his genuine feelings for Bertie were negative. Which I believe means he loves Harrison Campbell novels.

Zolf is still having more problems with pressure to sleep and has a spell (owl's wisdom) to deal with it. Engines seem to be off but the ship is still moving: elementals asleep?

Barnes, Carter, and Earhardt fall asleep. Everyone else starts to notice they are feeling tired, Alex leaves it to the players if they notice its supernatural.

Ah Hamid "I guess people weren't enjoying the game very much". Ok if it wasn't supernatural then it would be a sign he kept stress down enough for them to fall asleep surrounded by people in a strange situation, that's a pretty good sign for morale.

Azu asks for his 2 truths and lie, only for Bryn to call the break. Alex sounds impressed and Bryn is laughing so yeah this is bonding rather than a proper rank fight. Hm could just be a "delegate damn it" thing since Alex does have a lot on his plate... No I'm doing it again, all I need to know is that it doesn't sound like an actual problem.

Hamid's statements:

Are interupted by Wilde pointing out he knows Hamid well, which hints at reciprocation for Hamid knowing him well enough to call his truths. Whether he means that friendly or is trying to get his own back after being seen through is hard to say. Hamid points out he did research before hiring the team and he volunteers to sit out if he knows.

1)never lived in Mainland Europe

2) Never visited Sub Saharan Africa

3)Never won an academic prize

Wilde sits out in favor of a nap. Hamid starts feeling very weary as Azu asks about his statements.

Ouch Azu thinks he was quite good at school & academic achievements. Hamid falls asleep as she speaks, dodging that discussion. I wonder if it would be better or worse if he got a prize after he made an effort in Prague before the incident. I don't think Azu would get weird on him about not being good in school itself but I can't remember how much she followed of his running with bullys.

Back to Zolf: Zolf realizes the ship is moving before he tells it too. Zolf tries to fight it mentally, and is able to over rule the ship by making minor changes to the course while it tries to keep to the true course.

In the box everyone except for Cel and Siggif are asleep. Azu and Kiko fell asleep in eachother's arms.

Cel is so distracted "fixing things" they didn't notice until now; Sigguf is muttering to himself and when Cel checks on him he says he has bad dreams. He has a heart breaking crossword he clearly keeps redoing.

Cel has figured out its unnatural and tries to wake them up, Sigguf follows their lead. No luck.

The ship has started to tack itself, and started to maintain itself. Which could go either way especially since half the reason he keeps most of the NPCs alive is that they are needed to run the ship.

A good ep, even if Alex did duck developing the Kobolds again.

[lemon-ty]

While I have no time to draw I found that thing from twitter and I don't think it would be bad if I post at least anything till I'll be free to draw?? and let's say that's just one another post before I'll finally add some of It in my blog

I'll just answer all in one post let's go, guys

(Movies & mini series & book mixed)

1. Favorite female character

I don't think there're a lot of 'em lol. But

Patricia Uris

That's right, not Beverly. Patti has one(!) chapter and somehow I fell in love with her character while reading it. She's got her own story before Stan and she's got a very very very beautiful relationships with him.

(I'm so in love with Uris family I mean whyyyy can't I just have some Stan with his pretty wife and a CHILD THANK U VERY MUCH)

2. Favorite male character

RICHIE

I'm just in love with him he's perfect next

3. Worst character

Bill?

OK, let's talk about it. I was kinda neutral to everyone in the Loser club except Richie for a year or more. Then while being in fandom I fell in love with these guys like with everyone of 'em concluding Bill. But when I decided to actually read a book... why is he so stupid and careless and fjligvdsvfuklugxseggh

Moron.

I really tried not to be "of course u let kid go alone what will happen right??" but this.fucking.weather.this.fucking.fact.that.Georgie.told.him.he.was.about.to.go.to.the.closed.area.u.know.closed.bc.it.was.dangerous.to.go.there like BOY, u killed ur brother when he stepped out of the house HAVE U EVEN LOOKED TO THE WINDOW???? Was it ur plan how to get rid of him bc he was clever and better than u and everyone loved him more? Bc if it was, well, congratulations! it worked not like u expected but still worked!

I'm bullying Bill Denbro in my house I wish for the alternative version with George as a main character instead of him-

4. Favorite scene

Richie and Beverly dancing together

I LOVE their friendship they're like BEST BROTP EVER

I love all their interactions and I find it SO ADORABLE they danced together I always think about it ...about 'em

5. Favorite member of the Loser club

Well, again? Fine. RICHIE

6. Original or remake?

I'd say book? But if we're talking only about films when of course remake

I saw mini series some time ago and that was cute and had a lot from the book (and abult Eddie-) but it was so naive and looked kinda stupid (sorry everyone but I'm the new auditory and I can't get that seriously especially after new films) while new films... Weeelll...

Let's be honest, I saw It 2017 only bc of James McAvoy in the second chapter and I found it boring. And then the second part I found more like a comedy than horror. I didn't like films that time but I liked characters (Richie). Some weeks ago I rewathed both It 2017 and It 2019 and second one is still too long and a comedy but first I found interesting

So remake is great at least on the second time watching and that's enough

7. Reddie?

Reddie is always the answer it's never a question cuz the answer is YES all the answers YES

8. Ben of Bill?

Oh that's a question for me and my hate to Bill!

Ben OF COURSE

Not only bc I hate Bill, Ben is awesome himself. In films he was more leader for the Losers that Bill and Mike like together?? And have u seen that he did fo Henry in the book? Damn boy u're way too cool slow down

9. Best ship

Look question 7

10. Worst ship

OK it took a lot time to find the one bc I don't think there's any ship I would actually hate or smth but if thiiink Bill × Beverly

First, bc Bill?? Seriously?? Go and find someone better, my girl

Second, bc Ben and Bev have much more chemistry (god, Richie and Bev have more chemistry and this tells the person who would kill for reddie)

11. Book or movie?

Book

(and if u say the book is too big I swear I-)

12. Tim or Bill as Pennywise

Why do u need to ask such difficult questions?? I mean, I love every version of Pennywise no matter if it's book or 1990 or 2017-2019 they all are great in their own ways

So both Tim and Bill have an extreme charisma, different but equal in power

I like Tim's Penny bc he's simple and warm I mean c'mon I would definetly hug him or anything and die happy, I mean, he just got ur trust??? And I like how bad effects make him seams not like an awful monster who will eat u but like a friendly mischief (listen me up: he makes sink dirty right after Bev cleaned it up like phhhhhhhhahaha really u're a moron u know). Yeah, that's not that Pennywise is meant to be but that's adorable

And I love Bill's version bc he does look scary (in a some way, of course). Yeah yeah new effects are doing their work and the costume is less friendly than Tim's but the most important is Bill's acting. His mimic and expressions are perfect he fits this role way too good. And, damn, he's so funny like... Yeah, I'd spend my last minutes with him he's great, that would be the most hilarious death I could ever get

So... can I just say both??

13. Funniest character

Do u really see this as a question??

Richie. The funniest guy ever. I would go to his stand-up. I would buy his merch. I would buy hi- AHEMAHEM

Seriously, I found him irritating watching 1st movie first time but after 2d started I've changed my mind he's a diamond that makes films better like he's the only reason I didn't fall asleep while watching 2d part

14. Worst character fear

OK, let's say we don't count the book here. Bc, u know, the fears in the book was, well, like actually kid's fears. Like someone just saw a horror film great now they've got a deep emotional trauma that's like kids work.

So saying about movies...

Stan

Does anyone really got what's wrong with that painting?? I mean???? Just an art what's wrong with u, Stan, do u like... hate art???

I do not get it, plz, if u do, just explain me bc I have no fucking idea why should it be a normal fear that's stupid

15. Favorite actor from the film

James McAvoy

Like I said I went to this fandom ONLY bc of him

16. Favorite adult character

Do u think they grew up and anything changed? Hell no!

Richie

Forever Richie

17. Worst encounter with Pennywise

None? I really can't name u anything bc they all are great at leeeeast bc of Pennywise taking part in it. The scene with him can NOT be worst

(but still-

Eddie's such a stupid brave boy like WHY does he always need to go to scary deadly places I mean are u going to die of what????)

(in the book he just decided that was a great idea to actually try to get into the Neibolt house like ????????????????? U FUCKING BRAVE IDIO-)

18. Worst jump scare

I don't pay attention to any jump scares sorry

None

But I can name my fav! Mrs. Kersh. Not bc she's scary but SO FUNNY OMG

(and in mini series she IS scary, yeah...)

19. Favorite quote

Everything Richie says

20. Least favorite ship

Stanbro

This ship is really great: there're reasons why it's existing and the ship dynamic is good but... I hhhaaaateeee Biiilllllly. And that's the whole problem, yes. Blame me but I can't love otp if I don't like one of the characters

21. Favorite fan account

Don't follow any

22. Favorite Pennywise quote

Is he saying anything??

Alright-alright I know how it looks. "U say u love Penny but don't remember any of the words he's saying". Yes! All I remember is that everything he says is cool but, yeah, sorry, I have nothing in my head

23. Best friendship

RICHIE TOZIER

&

BEVERLY MARSH

24. Richie or Bill?

Who the fuck will choose Bill?????? Richie's the best

I mean, u want me to choose between my fav one and the one I hate most? really?

25. Eddie or Ben?

Not lying to u that's a difficult question. I like both of 'em so I needed a list with +s and -s of each one

Eddie:

+ Jack Dilan Grayser's face

+ the thing with hand

+ u can joke about his mom

+ s.h.o.r.t.s

+ he's mean I like ppl like that (I'm person like that)

+ can kill u with the knife just stuck in his cheek

+ healer

+ brave as hell

- he's SO loud

- non human speed of talking

- most of the time he's a wimp, let's be honest

- DEAD

- has scary tendencies of amputation everything

- not Riche's husband somehow

- mindlessly brave as hell

- FIVE

- PARAGRAPHS

- OF

- OBSCURE

- MEDICINE

- STUFF

in his very first chapter

Ben:

+ an architect (i concider all of 'em like gods)

+ punctual. If he said he'll be in ur bar on Saturday when he'll be doesn't matter he's in London right now

+ I tell u he's a hidden leader

+ can drink and stay sober

+ HE

+ PUNCHED

+ HENRY'S

+ BALLS

- wrote a haiku I don't like haiku

- minuses are ended

So Ben has less +s but less -s if u compare to his +s. So, sorry, Eds, but Ben

26. Funniest scene

Every with Richie

27. Least favorite male characters

I can't just say Bill again, right? Or I caaan???

Bill

28. Most underrated character

MIKE

I see ppl love every character even the once that has really small time (STAN) but I haven't seen so much ppl loving Mike. Everyone kinda... forgot about him?? What an irony

29. Favorite edit

Every with Richie

30. Is fack real?

No

Plz don't ship real ppl

[imjustpeachy8]

An Inconvenient Spark

Part I.  Summary: He's a Commander in the Resistance. You are a lowly force-sensitive thief from an equally lowly planet with order defying tendencies. You two under no circumstance get along. Your life take a turn the moment you decide to save his arrogant sorry-ass from certain death. If only you knew saving him would result in joining the Resistance finding not only your purpose in life - but also the biggest oaf-looking asshole in the whole galaxy. If only you could go back in time to that day - you would let him die, just to rid of this incessant headache Ben Solo is giving you. AU.

Warnings: language

Word Count: 2k

A/n:  i just needed an angsty, slow burn Ben Solo fic I guess. Go easy on me guys, this is my first time with writing.

Ben Solo woke up with the intent to make that day better than the last one. Last day was - well, it was complicated. It was messy, unnecessary and downright ridiculous.

He still felt his frustration consuming every bit of his body. Yesterday, it had decided to sit on his heart and made a home in it. He didn't know how long he was going to feel it. And he hated the whole situation in each passing moment more.

Still, he forced himself to start the day as a new one. A blank page. Nothing else before the morning.

It would be for the best. For him, and for the whole base, actually. Yes, he decided then - he would do that, he would behave, he would pretend that everything was fine - just for the sake of the people who he led and commanded. And for her Mother - yes, for her he would behave.

When he stepped foot in the command center, the whole place fell silent for a moment.

Great.

Letting out a breath, he scanned the room to find a familiar face. After a second, Lt. Connix appeared next to him, a small smile disappearing from her face the moment her eyes found his.

"She's in her office, Commander. She's waiting for you."

"Thanks" - he muttered out, and went on his way.

When he reached the door of the office, he gave himself a moment to collect his thoughts. He pushed through the entrance, only to find himself face-to-face with her mother’s stern look.

"Commander, it's good to see you. Although, i believe this was due yesterday." - her tone made sure to have an edge in it.

He huffed out a breath in return. His annoyance was coming back in an instant.

"I apologize. I was.. I wasn't in the right state of mind last night and -"

"So I heard." - she replied. "Tell me, son.. what were you thinking? To send off your comrade without a blaster, and then leave her to fend for herself on her own."

Ahhh, right.

He knew this would be a problem. He just had a tiny little hope that his mother would somehow understand. Basically, he did nothing wrong. He just lost his cool for a moment back there. For a couple of moments, really, but that wasn’t important right now.

"We went back to her, she's fine and i didn’t think she'd be stupid enough to not have a blas-.."

"That's enough." - Leia pinched her nose with her delicate fingers and let out a sigh. "Ben.. you need to be smarter than this. I know the two of you had a rocky start, but this whole thing looks like you deliberately tried to leave her to die on that planet." - She was raising her voice now, obviously mad at this whole ordeal. "She's not just your fellow comrade, she's also under your guide." - She let out another long breath. "You have to fix this."

"Fine." - he reluctantly replied.

There were a lot of things Ben Solo learned in his 28 years of his life. One of the many was, that somehow women - and especially his mother - would turn out right in every argument. Every kriffing time.

Agreeing with her would be beneficial. And if he wanted to be honest with himself, a teeny tiny part of him felt guilty.

So, he let her have the last words, let her see how sorry he was - even if it only was an act. He would get scolded a little but then he would forget about the whole deal. Like nothing really happened.

"Good. I expect you to apologize to her." - she chided after a moment.

Ben let out an unwanted growl. "You cannot be serious! I won't apologize to that wench, she deserved to be left on that planet. Maybe this time, she learned something about why it is imperative to follow a simple kriffing order."

"You will apologize, end of discussion." - Leia decided to ignore her son's outburst, knowing well enough that further engaging Ben will only lead them to another heated argument.

His chest heaved. He was seeing red. Why- why should he apologize? He hadn't done anything that bad, really. He just wanted to teach her a lesson about not following his orders. Nothing else. After all, he was her commanding officer, she should be listening to him. He didn’t left her there, he just wanted her to see that she wasn’t the only person who knew how to play this game.

She was a pain in his ass, thats what she was in reality, ever since he first saw her. She - without a doubt - was the most infuriating person he had ever seen in the whole universe. She was reckless, defiant and most importantly, she tended to ignore orders when she saw fit. Well, honestly, that only happened when said order came from him. For everyone else- she was compliant, nice even. And that made him hate her more. She drew him to the fucking wall.  

He was snapped out from his train of though the moment Leia started to speak again.

"And the two of you are grounded for a week. Maybe this will teach you a lesson, too." A moment passed in silence, but Leia wasn't done just yet. "Oh, and please be a dear, and deliver the news to her."

He couldn't  fucking believe this.

***

"WHAT?"

You and Finn were seated in the mess cantina in the morning. The room was empty except for the two of you, everyone else was already busy with their assignments at hand. Life on the Resistance base meant that work started way too early and ended way, way too late.

You however, were back from a mission. From a really bad, tiring one to be specific. The Falcon landed in hanger B late last night, and since nobody assigned any task for you in the morning, you decided to sleep as long as you could.  Hence, the reason you are the only people in the cantina, with Finn sitting across you, both eating the blob that was left behind.

"You heard me right. Kriffing bastard almost left me on that planet this time. Apparently, to teach me a lesson about defying orders." - you grinned. "Can you fucking believe it?"

Finn looked at you in disbelief. "How are you so calm about this?" - he thinned his eyes at you, clearly being suspicious of your state of mind right now. "You.. - you are planning something, aren't you? That's it, right?"

"No, my dear friend. I'm not gonna do a thing about it." - your grin grew wilder. "Someone else will...I hope." - with that, you got back on munching the blob people here called breakfast.

While eating, you thought back to last day's events. The whole thing was - well, avoidable. If only the two of you just knew how to behave when things went awry. You often found yourself thinking about this arrangement. After saving his ass on your home planet, you found yourself in a place where you could choose. Choose about your future, about what you wanted to do with your life. So you left with him and his team to join the Resistance. Acclimation to this whole situation was pretty easy for you, easier than you previously thought. Everyone was welcoming, and very friendly. The realization of you force powers was the cherry on top. As they told you, there were only two of them on the base.

Since your first day, you have been helping them with everything you could. Sometimes with mechanical work, sometimes with piloting, sometimes with missions. Work was easy to find. Peace - not so much. Not really, when a certain Commander is always pestering you with little, incessant jabs and remarks. Not when every time you come up with a wonderful idea he immediately shuts you up. And definitely not when he leaves you on Nar Shaddaa. You huff out a breath at the thought, shaking your head.

This fucking man.

Blob put aside, you and Finn were chatting about nothing, sipping caf when the doors of the cantina opened, and Ben Solo swaggered through. Your gazes locked on each other. You waited for this moment since the morning.

Being on base only for a couple of months wasn't much, but you thought of yourself as a good judge of character. While Ben Solo sometimes was still a mystery to you, her mother wasn’t. You instantly knew how Leia worked. And you had a suspicion that she knew that you knew. Looking at his annoyed face, you realized Leia was playing along. You were baffled at the thought and forced the creeping smile from your face. You needed to savor this moment.

Your commander stopped at your table, face now impassive but the twitching of his left eye and the current energy around him gave his true feelings away. He was angry and annoyed, and at that moment, you were the happiest person in the galaxy. The staring contest  however, was interrupted with Finn's throat clearing.

You put up your sweetest smile you could muster and batted your lashes at him before speaking.

"Commander Solo, are you joining us for breakfast?" - you chirped.

He looked up at the ceiling then, breathing through his nose. You loved him so riled up.

As he realized that he didn't want to spend any more time in your presence than it was necessary - he leered down at you, and started talking.

"No." A beat. "I'm sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said and that I almost left you on Nar Shaddaa." - he still managed to be cocky and arrogant, even when apologizing. You couldn't believe it.

"Thank you, Commander. I hope your bruised ego will get well soon from this beautiful apology. Aaaaand, I just hope next time you would be a little more professional." - You couldn't just let him go with a sorry-ass apology like that. He needed a jab. Just a little one. "I mean.. one would think that after saving your life, you would.. I don't know.. not leave me to die on a hostile planet maybe?"

He was getting angrier now, the force around him resonated. While you loved making him angry, you realized this was not the right time to engage in another argument. After last night, you didn’t have the energy to fight, so you decided to let this conversation go as soon as possible. After all, you got what you wanted.

"What more do you want me to say, Princess? I'm sorry, take it or don't, I don't care."

What a jerk.

"Most importantly, both of us are grounded for a week, and for the time being, you're training only with Rey."

Oh. Ohhh.

You could work with that.

A whole week without working with Ben Solo? Last night, on that planet, while you desperately waited for  rescue you could only think about how unlucky you were to be left behind.

Now? Now, you were certain you were the luckiest girl in the galaxy.

Leaving without another word, you again had found yourself with Finn, a shit-eating grin already on your face.

"Why are you so happy about this? Didn't you hear the part you are grounded? For a week." - he looked at you incredulously.

"Oh, Finn. Don't you see? I got myself an apology and a Ben Solo-free week. I really couldn't have hoped for more."

If being mouthy and sarcastic around the Commander always resulted with a week of not seeing him, you would probably just try to sabotage every mission from now on.

[cocastyle]

Sick Day

Pairing - Eddie Kaspbrak x reader

Word Count - 2,888

A/N - definitely not one of my longest pieces of work, but I honestly love the length for this request :) Eddie is one of my favs and I just love him so much so I loved writing this! if anyone else has a request, please go ahead and send it in! I am accepting Christmas requests right now seeing as Christmas is so soon so if you want something written just let me know!

if you would like to be added to my permanent tag list, let me know!

Request- Oooh could you write an Eddie Fic where he takes care of a sick Reader? He fusses over her so much and it’s super adorable :’)) Thank you!! @purplelittlepup

"Tilt-A-Whirl is by far the best ride that's going to be there."

"No fucking way! That ride is for pussies. The Zipper is the best!"

"No, the Tilt-A-Whirl!"

"The Zipper!"

Y/N rolled her eyes as she listened to her boyfriend Eddie Kaspbrak argue with their best friend Richie Tozier about which carnival ride was the best. The Losers had all spent the night at the arcade and had just went there separate ways, so Y/N was the only one there to hear the two's bickering on their walk home.

With the carnival coming to Derry and it's first official day being tomorrow, the carnival was all the Losers could talk about. They had been planning on going to the carnival since it left the previous year, but now that it was here, Richie and Eddie were arguing over which ride they should go on first.

"Guys, the rides are all great," Y/N sighed before she squeezed her eyes shut and let out a small sneeze.

"Bless you," Eddie said almost automatically before looking down at his girlfriend. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and held her close as he said, "Come on, Y/N. Don't you think the Tilt-A-Whirl is the best?"

"Woah! No fucking way, Eddie Spaghetti! Y/N's opinion doesn't count because she's just going to agree with you because you two are dating," Richie frowned.

"I don't know. I have to agree with Richie on this one. The Zipper is pretty fun," Y/N admitted before sneezing again.

"Bless you," Eddie and Richie said before Eddie pouted and Richie laughed in his face.

"Never mind! Y/N's opinion does matter," Richie smiled earning a whack in the arm from Y/N.

Y/N glanced at her boyfriend who was still pouting and she chuckled before leaning up and pressing a kiss to the boy's cheek, the action making Eddie blush and smile almost instantly before he pulled her closer to him by the neck for a small hug.

Y/N shivered slightly from the cool breeze and Eddie frowned before instantly taking off his jacket and wrapping it around the girl. Neither of them had time to say anything before Richie fake gagged making the couple glare at him.

The two rolled their eyes and smirked at each other before Eddie pulled Y/N close and gave her a quick kiss. "My eyes!" Richie cried out in disgust before he gagged again.

The couple pulled away with a laugh before Y/N sneezed again. The boys went to say 'bless you,' but didn't get a chance to before Y/N was sneezing again.

Once she stopped with her sneezing fit, Richie let out a laugh and said, "Well fucking bless you." Y/N chuckled at that and rolled her eyes at the boy before glancing over at Eddie who was looking at her worriedly.

"Are you okay?" he asked with concern, not liking that Y/N had been sneezing a lot for the past couple of minutes.

"Yeah, yeah. It's just allergies," Y/N assured him despite feeling the pressure that was building up in her face and the small ache in the back of her head. Eddie clearly didn't like the answer and went to question her more, but Y/N could already see her house not too far away from them. "Here's where we part ways, boys. I'll see you two tomorrow, okay?"

"See ya, loser," Richie joked before Y/N and him fist bumped. "Don't miss me too much."

Y/N put a hand to her chest in fake agony before saying, "I will try my best." This caused the two to chuckle before Y/N reached out and ruffled Richie's hair. The boy quickly went to fix it, but he would be lying if he said he didn't love it when Y/N did that.

Y/N turned her attention to Eddie who was still looking at her in worry. "I'm fine, Eddie," she whispered before leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Eddie hummed in response before wrapping his arms around Y/N and giving her a big bear hug. Y/N smiled and hugged him back tightly before pulling away to sneeze again.

Y/N pulled Eddie's jacket closer to her body before smiling at the boys and beginning to walk away. "Bye, guys!" she called out while Eddie stared worriedly after her.

Richie looked to his friend and put a hand on his shoulder before shaking him slightly. "She's fine, man. Just some allergies like she said," Richie told him.

"Yeah," Eddie muttered as he stuck his hands in his pocket and began to walk the rest of the way home with Richie. "Just some allergies."

So why did he have a feeling it was more than that?

- - -

"Where is she?" Eddie asked, his face scrunched up in concern as he nervously bit his lip. He snuck a glance at his watch before frowning and looking to the Losers. "Y/N's never late to anything."

"I'm sure she's fine, Eddie," Mike spoke up.

"Mike's right. She might have lost track of the time," Beverly suggested while her and the rest of the Losers tied their bikes up on the bike rack at the carnival.

The lights and sounds of laughter had stolen Richie's attention and the moment his stomach growled from having smelled all the different foods was the moment he grew impatient. "I don't know where the hell she is, but if she doesn't get here soon I'm going in without her," Richie said practically bouncing on his feet.

"No, you're not," Eddie said with a pointed look towards his friend. Richie huffed in frustration and went to argue, but Bill was quick to stop the argument before it even began.

"Th-Th-There she is," Bill spoke up, pointing behind Eddie. The Losers all turned to look and Eddie sighed with relief at the sight of Y/N trudging towards them with her bike by her side.

Eddie felt his heart flutter at the sight of her wearing his jacket and he had started to blush, but when he got a better look at his girlfriend, he paled. She had dark bags under her eyes, a red nose, as white as a piece of paper, and her eyes were fluttering open she close like she was struggling to stay awake. She looked like she felt awful.

"I knew it wasn't just allergies," Eddie muttered under his breath before he began to take big strides towards the girl.

"Fuck, Y/N. Took you long enough!" Richie complained, none of the other Losers having noticed the young girl's state.

“Richie,” Ben hissed, already feeling bad for the girl.

"Sorry," Y/N croaked, her voice sounding as if she had to strain to use it. She sneezed before looking over at her friends, all of their faces turning into looks of concern when they saw her.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Stan questioned, his head tilted curiously as he looked to the girl who was now being bombarded by Eddie who had taken her bike from her hands to put it on the bike rack.

"I'm fine," Y/N assured them, but they knew better than to believe her when she both looked and sounded like she didn't feel good.

Eddie was by the girl's side in an instant, a frown on his face as he gently reached out and placed a hand on her arm. "Honey," he whispered, "I think it would be best if you go home. We know what you're saying is bullshit and that you don't feel good. You need the rest."

Y/N frowned and reached out to shake Eddie's arm slightly, whining out, "But we've been waiting on this for forever, Eddie."

Eddie sighed and moved his hand down to latch onto her own before giving it a small squeeze. “I know, darling, but you need the rest,” he whispered so that only she could hear. Y/N frowned, but didn’t respond so Eddie took that as a sign of acceptance.

Turning to the group, Eddie found that Bill was already giving him a knowing smile. Eddie returned the smile before saying, “I’m going to take Y/N home. Bill, do you mind-?”

“No, yeah, I’ll dr-dr-drop her bike off on the w-w-way home,” Bill assured him with a nod.

“Thank you,” Eddie said before his eyes flickered over his friends. “You guys have fun tonight, okay? Maybe we can come again when Y/N’s feeling up to it.”

“Of course,” Stan said.

“Definitely,” Ben agreed, the boy smiling sympathetically towards the sick girl who had moved close enough to Eddie that she could lie against him if she wanted to.

It was like she was holding back though and Eddie felt his heart warm slightly when he realized she was only holding back from touching him because she knew how much he hated germs. Usually Eddie would die if someone so much as coughed in his direction, but with Y/N, he never seemed to care about germs or getting sick.

So he didn’t even hesitate to wrap an arm around her and pull the girl close, the action causing Y/N to sink into his side almost instantly. She wrapped her arms around his waist and dug her face into his side while Eddie lovingly rubbed a hand up and down her back before he looked back at the Losers.

Beverly was holding a hand over her heart because of how cute the two were while the others, minus Richie who looked bored, all smiled at the couple. Eddie’s eyes flickered over to his best friend and he gave the boy a look before saying, “Richie.”

Richie’s gaze slowly fell upon Eddie who gave him a small smile. “Go on the Tilt-A-Whirl for me, would ya?” Eddie asked, knowing that Richie was upset that both him and Y/N wouldn’t be joining the boy for the night but not showing it.

That made Richie crack a smile and he nodded slightly. “Yeah, yeah. Just for you though, Eds. Now you get Y/N home, okay? I can’t have my arcade partner missing out on too much,” Richie said before his eyes flickered over to the girl. “You get some rest, Y/N, okay? And don’t worry, Eddie will take care of you.”

Y/N smiled softly at that and her grip tightened on Eddie ever so slightly as she whispered, “Thanks, Rich. You guys have fun.”

A chorus of ‘we will’ and ‘hope you feel better’ followed the couple as they slowly began to walk away from the group and over to Eddie’s bike.

Eddie got on first before glancing back and watching cautiously as Y/N slowly got in behind him. Her arms instantly wrapped around his waist and she leaned her head against his back, her eyes fluttering closed as she nuzzled into the boy. Eddie could feel the heat radiating off of Y/N and through his shirt which made him frown before he quickly took off on his bike, heading towards Y/N’s house.

Y/N’s parents were out of town or they wouldn’t have let Y/N even leave the house in the state she was in. So that meant Eddie would have to take care of her for the night, not that he minded.

The whole ride home consisted of Eddie thinking of excuses to tell his mother while he tried his best to keep Y/N up on the bike. Every time she started to fall asleep, Eddie would have to wake her up and it broke his heart despite her reassurance that it was fine.

The couple finally managed to get to Y/N’s house and Eddie was quick to toss his bike onto the ground before hurrying the girl into the house, wanting nothing more than to get her inside. Eddie silently led Y/N to her room and left her to get changed into some comfortable clothes while he went downstairs to make her some of his ‘healing’ soup as he liked to call it.

By the time Eddie had returned with a bowl of soup in hand, Y/N had changed into one of his shirts he had left at her house and some shorts. Eddie couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her, finding her just as beautiful as ever even if she wasn’t feeling one hundred percent.

Eddie slowly crept across the room before setting the soup on her nightstand and sitting down in the side of the bed. The dip in the bed had Y/N slowly blinking her eyes opened and she smiled ever so slightly at the sight of her boyfriend before closing her eyes once again.

“I’m sorry you have to take care of me,” Y/N muttered, her smile slowly turning into a frown. “I know how much you wanted to go to the carnival.”

“I don’t have to take care of you. I get to take care of you. I want to take care of you. Besides, I wouldn’t have any fun if you weren’t there with me,” Eddie assured her as he reached up to brush some of the hair from her face.

Y/N smiled softly at that before relaxing under Eddie’s touch, not noticing the way his smile dropped as soon as he felt her burning hot skin. “Shit, Y/N. You’re burning up. Do you know what this means?” Eddie questioned, his voice raising in a panic as he stood up and began to pace the room.

“That I’ve got a fever?” Y/N questioned as she sat up and began to eat some of the soup Eddie had brought her.

“Exactly! So we’ll need to break that as quick as we can. You’ll need some cold compresses and possibly some ibuprofen. Oh, and you’ll need lots of water to replenish your body and-“ Eddie began to ramble.

“Eddie,” Y/N sighed, her soft voice being enough to make the boy freeze in his tracks. His eyes flickered over to look at her and she set the half eaten soup on her nightstand before saying, “I just want to sleep. I promise I’ll feel better when I wake up.”

Eddie sighed, his shoulders relaxing ever so slightly as he realized he had about gone into his freak out mode. Knowing that sleep was probably the best solution for the girl, Eddie nodded his head in agreement, “Fine, but I’m at least giving you some ibuprofen.”

“Deal,” Y/N sighed before watching as Eddie quickly disappeared from her room only to return with some ibuprofen and water a minute later. She downed the pill as quick as possible and took a few extra gulps of water to appease Eddie before lying back down in her bed.

She had just started to close her eyes when she felt the bed start to dip down behind her. Y/N glanced over her shoulders, her sick eyes widening as she noticed Eddie getting into the bed with her. “But, Eddie, you’ll get sick,” she whispered worriedly, knowing how much the boy hated being sick and how fussy his mother would get.

“I know,” Eddie said, a loving smile on his face. “But frankly, Y/N, I don’t give a fuck. All I want to do is hold my sick girlfriend and help her feel better. A few germs are worth it if I get to hold the girl that I love.”

Y/N smiled at that and Eddie took that as a sign that he could lie down beside her. He carefully laid down beside her before wrapping his arm around the girl, chuckling as he watched her flip around so that she could nuzzle her face into his chest, her hand balled up into a fist around his shirt.

“Eddie?” Y/N whispered as she nuzzled closer to him, loving the warmth and love that seemed to be radiating from the boy.

Eddie hummed softly in response as he moved a hand up and began to gently play with the girl’s hair, the action making her sigh in content as she felt herself growing drowsy.

Letting out a small yawn, Y/N whispered, “Thank you for taking care of me. I love you.”

Eddie smiled again that and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to her forehead. “I love you too, darling,” he whispered back as he held her a little closer of his body, tucking her head underneath his chin and rubbing a hand up and down her back as her breathing slowed down.

Y/N never felt more loved and comforted than she did in that moment. How she had ended up lucky enough to have Eddie Kaspbrak return the crush that she had on him for years was still a mind blower to her. And she wouldn’t trade moments like this with the boy she loved for anything in the world.

“You sure you don’t want anything else? Maybe some more water? A cold compress?”

“Eddie.”

“Right. I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I love you too, you idiot. I love you too.”

* * *

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[goldenhour-goldenboy]

Hi, I'm obsessed with this movie. I've seen it like 10 times now and none of my friends/family will watch it with me. But I was wondering if you could do a younger benny and his high school sweetheart. Maybe they find eachother again later in life. How they were in high school and how they were before he and Will enrolled Vs how they are now given all the things they have seen and how they are older. I just thought this would be so cool.

My LOVE I am so sorry this took so long but I’ve made it! I actually got a bit carried away by the whole younger Benny thing but I hope that’s alright! The ending is fairly short since I didn’t want to overwrite the whole thing (maybe I’ll do another one where I go into detail a bit more how the service changed him but I have to work through the other requests first and there are some that are asking for the same thing so we’ll see)I had SO much FUN writing this and also broke my own heart bc now I’m sad that there’s no Ben Miller in my life lol OKAY 

also i’m also obsessed with that fcking movie it’s not funny i tell you

High School Sweethearts and Long Life Lovers (young!Benny Miller Headcanons)

When you and Benny first meet it’s like two worlds colliding. It’s not necessarily because you are the opposite side of a coin but more that you’ve never interacted with him and don’t exactly share the same group of friends. While you try to get through High School as fast and as unproblematic as possible, Benny seems to almost celebrate every second of it. He’s not a trouble maker per say but he likes to be seen (and heard) while you try to fly under the radar as much as you can. 

For Benny High School is just a passing point, somewhere he’s stuck until he gets his degree and an environment where the rules are not meant to be broken but defiantly meant to be bent to the maximum. For you he’s just another loud guy that tries his damn hardest to prove to the world of tough and different he is and you’re not at all interested in getting drawn into whatever mess he decided to create this week. He’s not a trouble maker but you think he does mean trouble.

You shoot him down the first time he strolls up to you to ask you to hang out. It’s not because rumor has it that Benny Miller leaves nothing but broken hearts and bruised knuckles behind but because his cocky attitude and constant teasing annoy you, not as much as the stares from jealous girls down the halls do, but still enough to decline. What does spark your first interest is the way he accepts your answer (which really consists of a simple “No”, you not intending to argue with him). Though his gaze is still lingering on you for a second, he backs of fairly fast - faster than most boys you’ve encountered by then and it’s his understanding and the space that he gives you afterwards that you appreciate about him. You don’t like him a whole lot better after that but at least he doesn’t turn out to be a real asshole.

Falling for Benny Miller turned out to be a marathon, not a sprint. Somehow, and you’re still not sure how, he wedged his way into your heart. It’s the little things that seem to come to your attention more often afterwards, how he’s almost always late to the classes you share with him not because he doesn’t care but because he walks everyone else of his group of friends to their classes first. How his face lights up when he’s getting picked up by his brother and you watch them through the windshield, Benny turning up the music and belting out the lyrics to a song where he doesn’t hit every note and his brother just snorts at him. 

His bruised knuckles turn out to don’t come from fighting in the streets and picking fights constantly but from taking boxing classes late after school at a local gym. You find out by accident, your cousin who picks you up from school recognizing his brother William and stopping for a quick chat, mentioning training and Benny being involved. William seems far softer than Benny, though you haven’t talked to Benny any more than his brother. For a second there’s a hint of surprise in Will’s eyes as you introduce yourself and you wonder if it may be recognition as well. As you pull your hand from the short handshake you can’t help the thought that crosses your mind if Ben has talked to his older brother about you, the image sending a soft blush to your cheeks.

A lot of firsts happen in the time you’re with Benny. 

The first time seeing bloody knuckles followed by a first time where you have to patch up said bloody knuckles. This time it’s not from training and it’s takes a bit of questioning until he rasps out that there were those bullies that tried to pick on a kid in his neighborhood. You scoff, telling him that he’ll get in trouble if he goes to School like that the next day and that it’ll only make the rumors worse about him being violent but Benny just shrugs, murmuring that it was worth it and he’d do it over and over again.

The first time you taste the bitterness of beer was on his lips, which happened to be the first time you kissed. You remember how his lips were a bit chapped that night, the music blaring inside the house you’ve been invited to, the smell of cigarettes lingering on the front porch and the railing behind you. You remember Benny’s hands on your waist, at first more hesitant but then your lips parted, a soft sound escaping yours and he gripped your waist harder, pressing his body against you.

You remember the first time you smelled him, face pressed into his shirt as it seems that you just couldn’t stop crying. You felt silly in that moment, balling over the loss of your favorite pet but that bundle of fur grew up with you and though you knew that it’s end would come long before your own it still hits you, hard. Benny was there then, rubbing small circles on your back and holding you steady.

Benny’s seeing a kind of sanctuary in you, something steady in a life that seems to move too fast for him. There are countless nights that he crawls through the window and into your room late at night. Sometimes you’re still sitting at your desk studying, sometimes you’re already lying in bed and the face that suddenly appears in your window scares you to death. 

When his dad gets called for another tour, it’s you Benny turns to. Will calls you first after Benny storms out when he hears the news and it doesn’t take long for the younger Miller brother to show up at your window, cheeks red and breathing furiously. He’s frustrated at first, walking circles into your carpet and cursing his dad and his brother and the army and the whole goddamn world before stopping with his back to you. You can’t see his face but the way his shoulders tense up, hands balled at the side before starting to shake you take a gentle hand to turn him around. The sight of his scrunched up face, tears falling big and heavy to your shirt as his head hangs low nearly breaks your heart and this time it’s you that wraps him in a tight hug and rubs his back.

Normally he leaves after a couple of hours but this time Ben falls asleep in your arms, face pressed into the crook of your neck, exhausted from the fear and the crying while you stroke his head, again and again until his ragged breaths calm down and he stops shaking. There’s really nothing you can say to him that will make it better. After all you’re both just two teenagers, too old to believe in miracles, too grown up to ignore the realistic chance of his father getting injured while being deployed. So you hold him and hope that in the daylight, the fear won’t be as strong.

Benny’s an absolute sweetheart to you in school. It’s not like he was rude before but now he’s taking chivalry to a whole new level. There’s usually an arm around your waist or a hand in your back pocket, stolen kisses between class. Glancing his way he’ll catch your eyes, a sheepish smile on his lips and before you turn your attention back to the board.

You’ve tried studying together for a while but it really doesn’t work that great. It’s either Benny distracting you or your distracting Benny, causing piles of homework to get kicked onto the floor, pencils clattering to the ground as you feel his body pressing you into the soft mattress of your bed, hips grinding against yours as he’s starting to suck with his sweet lips right under your jaw.

Benny accumulates a couple of habits since you’re around. There’s little notes that you randomly find in your backpack or your locker, not everyday but mostly after you had a tough week or a fight. Picking you up and dropping you off becomes a thing as soon as he passes his drivers license and there’s usually a cup of coffee waiting in your cupholder at the passenger side. On your birthday he creates a cd with your favorite kind of songs and it becomes your morning pickup playlist, William having to sit through the same songs over and over again whenever he happens to sit in the car.

Benny learns how to play guitar in those years with you though he swears Will made him do it and he didn’t learn it just for you. He’s can’t play an awful lot of songs, most of the time he can’t concentrate and sit still for the amount of time that it takes to learn a full song and playing the same thing over and over bores him to death very easily. But whenever he feels the need to clear his head, he likes to sit down, guitar in his lap and mindlessly pick at the strings. 

Though he hasn’t played in years the old guitar, that was actually your dad’s old guitar that he didn’t need and gave Benny as a gift, still sits in his childhood room at his parents house. He thought about taking it home but he really sees no point in it since he doesn’t play anymore but at the same time he can’t get himself to give it away either.

You try to go to prom with Benny, you even picked out a nice dress and he got dressed up but the night of the actual prom went a bit different than expected. You even made it to the parking lot but neither of you seemed to wanna get out of the car, instead you kept sitting there and looked at the people lingering around or waiting to get inside. It takes one look at each other and Benny’s pulling out of the lot in seconds.

You end up at a diner that night, with burgers and fries, first alone which you enjoy immensely and later joined by your friends that didn’t seem to enjoy the prom too much, even less without you two being there and Benny raising havoc. Instead of dancing in a very sweaty overcrowded gym Benny gets some change for the old jukebox and you end up dancing in the middle of the diner. And though Benny’s dance moves are a bit questionable at times, he twirls and twists you around that night that you get dizzy, grabbing onto his arms for stability where he takes the chance to steal a kiss from you, leaving your friends hollering and whistling at you two from the background.

Breaking up wasn’t so much a decision as it kinda just happened. Near the end of your High School both of you are met with the question on where to go next in life -  and unfortunately it seems as if fate is working against you. While Benny is set on joining the army with his brother (and this really does not come to your surprise since it has always been his dream) you start to look into Colleges. Both of you are stressed because finals are coming up, the inevitable question on how you should continue your relationship combines with the worries about the future and one fight too many leaves both of you with the feeling that maybe this isn’t meant to last forever.

Maybe if the timing was different, the two of you would’ve had the chance to talk it out one more time but you move away a couple of weeks after Benny gets employed and sent to camp for basis training. It’s your first real heartbreak, for both you and Benny and it certainly weighs heavy on your soul. A breakup is always hard but being this young it defiantly feels like the end of the world and it doesn’t help that you can’t seem to shake the thought of “What if..?”

The next time you see each other happens by accident. You’re back in town for a week to catch up with your family and though Ben has certainly changed you recognize him immediately. His body that just started to gain muscles when you last saw each other now has developed quite well and he’d outgrown his scrawny body but it’s still Benny. His hair is cut short and you catch yourself thinking that it’s even a bit too short for your liking. The sheepishness is still there, though his eyes flicker around the area, and you think to spot a hasty glow behind them, though it’s hard to tell from across the parking lot.

You don’t talk that day, him entering the grocery store and you’re about to pull out the lot, time doesn’t seem to give you a chance. But seeing him stirs something inside of you, the thought of him crossing your mind the following week again and again until you even ask your mother if she heard anything from the Millers, though she doesn’t know too much. Your brain is like a overachieving little helper, serving you memories at the most inconvenient times and it takes a bit for you to store the thought of Benny Miller to the back of your mind again.

It’s been ages now, at least it feels like it, when you stumble into each other, for real this time. You’re in front of a bar, waiting for your friends who want to celebrate your move back to town, though the thought brings nothing but hot shame to your cheeks that you wish to drown in a generous amount of alcohol. It really doesn’t feel like your next step in life but more like you’re taking ten steps back and thinking about moving back in with your parents makes your hairs stand in the back of your neck. 

This time you don’t recognize him immediately. He’s almost inside the bar when your eyes meet on accident, you glancing up from your phone again, trying not to look too long at the bulky dude in the grey sweater passing you by. He stops and you clutch your bag a little tighter, frantically trying to remember what your father told you about throwing a punch, just in case, and you almost take a step back as you hear his voice. “Y/N?” It’s hard to look at him now, his face a collage of colorful bruises, a split lip and red nose and you though you try hard find the boy that you gave your heart to in his eyes it takes you a minute.

You quickly realized that his appearance isn’t the only thing that has changed. He’s still witty and quick with a come back to tease but there’s a lack of his easy going charm and he seems to have lost some of his carelessness along the way. Maybe it’s because you’re not as close anymore, a small voice in the back of your head whispers and you silently agree. After all you’ve grown too, so expecting him to be still a boy at heart might be a bit too much.

You’re chatting for a while and it feels awkward at first, a stiff conversation about nonsense. Your eyes sneak back to his injuries and you can’t help but think that Benny looks .. rough. You don’t ask him how he’s been, the question seems silly to you because what even are you trying to hint at? His time in service? Where’s at now? What the hell he’s done to get that beaten up? 

You part as your friends arrive, Benny scattering away as they get out of the car and you end up not knowing how to say goodbye. It ends in a long nod from him and a small smile from you, fiddling with the hem of your jacket as you debate wether or not to ask if he wants to stay in touch and you get caught up in the excitement of your friends, the group giggling and pushing you through the front door of the bar. As you look over your shoulder you only see Benny’s back as he’s crossing the street, almost at the other side and you break into a sprint to catch him before he vanishes into the night. 

It takes a bit of convincing until he lets you type in your number into his phone. “Let’s keep in touch, yeah?” He nods and you’re almost sure he won’t call. It’s a week later that your phone rings, Benny on the other line, stuttering about catching up (he promises that most of his face looks better now and that he won’t scare the living daylights out of you this time) and suddenly you’re fifteen again, heart racing as you agree.

Find the moodboard for highschool!Benny Miller here! xx

[ultralaser]

i'm just gonna go ahead and spoil the fuck out of hellboy 2019 bc it's awful and i can't think of a good reason not to

thomas haden church shows up as lobster johnson! but he looks ridiculous, like, a cheap halloween costume version compared to, say, the period costumes in captain america or wonder woman. and he has NO SET UP so he just comes off like a joke, it's not, oh this is a wierd noir pulp hero in **gotham city**, it's, lobster johnson, nazi hunter. is hellboy a world with cool superheroes, and if so, why isn't hellboy one of them? is he an x men now? idk it doesnt work tho

baba yaga shows up! she has a house on chicken legs that's rendered beautifully, but then she has one of the worst face prosthetics i've ever seen, it literally looks like a cheap monster mask from party city. so much for the grace and elegant spookiness of a doug jones suit, this baba yaga mask can't even lip sync well

guy davis kaiju demons show up! but they aren't, cool, they're just, they have as much screen time as the ogdru jahad in hellboy 04, but they show up and start just gruesomly killing ppl, like same with thr giants fight earlier on, the movie uses the r rating to push a lot of just dismemberment, disembowelment, graphic bodily harm, it's gross and mean and dumb and out of character for the comics. therr's the helicopter shot of the tall man walking through the tower bridge, then two bat demons fky up in front of him and tear someone in half and all their guts fall out. what? why

king arthur and merlin show up! merlin is, christian for some reason? and king arthur is boring. this sequence is nearly saved by ian mcshane's narratiom, but not really. witches bad, she created a plague but not, the plague? england is the most important place in history, blah blah, no. king arthur legend of the sword does more with excalibur as a magic artifact, and drunk merlin from transformers the last knight is way more compelling than Christian Merlin, warrior for god

they do the quick ww2 origin flashback, ala thomas and martha wayne, joe chill, pearls. kroenen is there and looks bad, ilsa looks fine, rasputin, tbh feels like they got the same actor who did a poor job in 04, he's generic in a boring way, the whole scene is unnecessary

okay, so, then halfway! through, after hellboy has been sent to england to help the rebel general from rogue one, and they name their perennial giant hunt 'the wild hunt', and they all betray hellboy and stab him with a bunch of spears, and are killed brutally by giants, and then hellboy brutally kills the giants, and is rescued by new girl, who talks to ghosts and was rescued by hellboy from being replaced by a fairy changeling (who is back, running around putting milla back together after king arthur dismembered her and locked her still-living pieces in boxes around england?), and hellboy both knows her from all along but also hasnt been back since, and knows shes a psychic but also hasnt seen her since she was a baby, depending on the scene?

THEN finally daniel dae kim's ben daimio shows up, and he's NOT EVEN IN THE BPRD, he's with british intelligence, and he takes hank's anti-mutation polyjuice serum from days of future past to repress his were-jaguar form, and he has a special gun designed to KILL HELLBOY because he doesnt trust him not to be the actual devil, despite, HIMSELF, being cursed with a monstrous destiny

the scene in the trailer with hellboy, new girl, and daimio on a bprd mission, with hellboy punching daimio to activate his hulking out? THAT'S IN THE **SIX MONTHS LATER** EPILOGUE. the movie ENDS with the three of them finding abe sapien

so this whole thing? is a fucking ORIGIN STORY. it is EVERY SUPERHERO MOVIE FROM 78 TO IRON MAN TWO, it is ONE HERO, ALONE, IN A WORLD WITH NO OTHER HEROES. it's not even the x-men because they're not recruiting hellboy to join their team, it's like if the x-men were just xavier and logan and a nunch of fbi guys.

meanwhile, ddk and new girl are both americans doing british accents, david harbour is still playing hellboy as a 75 year old teenager, and ian mcshane, bless him, is just playing ian mcshane

also, just, i think the intent was for harbour to play it as the stone right hand is just really heavy? but it ends up looking like a cosplayer who misjudged the weight of his prop hand an hour into the con. i want to say del toro did a better job of making it look like, this is actually hellboy's hand, and not, this is ron perlman wearing a wierd prosthetic.

and also, amazing advances in prosthetic technology aside, why didnt they just get dave bautista, if they wanted surly hellboy, or dwayne johnson, if they wanted comic accurate charming hellboy, because neither of those dudes would have needed a muscle suit. hellboy ends up (AGAIN) looking like one of the fucking dwarves in the hobbit, who wore fat suits to look like they were built like john rhys davies, but if they turn their head wrong you can see their prosthetics floating like trump's wig

have the balls to give him his wierd jawline from the comic, or don't fucking bother

okay, okay. OKAY. so, you guys remember the BLOOD TORNADO from blade one, the 'original ending' on the dvd where frost turns into a whirling vortex of blood, and they superimpose the dorff's torso just kind of leaning out of it? and it looked awful both because it's super fake anyways but also unfinished? so, there is an EXTENDED scene where professor mcshane comes back as a ghost, and it's ian mcshane's head pasted onto a super fake ectoplasm tail coming out of new girl's mouth (which also, gross), and they forgot to give him a neck, and he's naked? and it's awful and only not laughable bc, frankly, ian mcshane is a treasure and spends the whole moving swearing a lot

and honestly, the most annoying part is that hellboy 19 cribs the ending from hellboy 04 where hellboy is about to give in to his cursed destiny and join team evil, until some white dude says 'no, stop, you have a choice thanks to your father'

hellboy popped into our plane in 1944 and it is 2019, dude is SEVENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. he is smarter than this shit, or at least, old enough to know better. i'm half his age and i can tell when someone is not negotiating in good faith.

and at least in 04 he was doing it to save liz, in the new movie witch milla ALREADY KILLED IAN MCSHANE and it still takes ghost mcshane to cuss hellboy out back to team good, talking him into using EXCALIBUR to rekill her instead of, destroying the world

and do they reconcile that EXCALIBUR was the key to the hellmouth, that hellboy pulling the sword from the stone started the biblical apocalypse? that england is the villain here? no, they joke that now hellboy is king.

OMG and i forgot merlin shows up again to tell hellboy HE IS LITERALLY DESCENDED FROM KING ARTHUR. his human witch mother fucked satan in the 1600s and gave birth to hellboy in hell, and then four hundred years later rasputin and the nazis summon him to earth as he's still a baby. does this make sense? no. is it comics canon. idk, who cares, it's BAD.

this movie is B A D in almost every way, it is amazing how bad it is. it is clearly a 'gritty' remake of the 2004 film, not in any way a new take on the comics. there are FIFTEEN YEARS of new bprd comics put out since that film for these guys to riff on, and they are still fundamentally misrepresenting beloved characters while also just, making up new bullshit.

but when del toro did that, it was del toro's cool bullshit. this is hellboy from the guys who said 'lets have jaime rape cersei on joffrey's tomb'

[sustainhealthmagazine]

Treasure Island with Bear Grylls the Interview

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Hit Channel 4 series The Island with Bear Grylls returns, but this time there’s a twist. For the first time there’s money at stake and it’s everyone for themselves. The reimagined series - Treasure Island with Bear Grylls - will once again see 12 ordinary Brits marooned for 35 days on a remote.

We wanted to find out more from the main man himself behind the Island and what’s going to be happening.

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This is the first time you’ve dropped money on to the island, what made you decide to shake up the series in this way?

Well this is something I've wanted to do with the show for a while. It's been a natural evolution, you know? With season one the whole premise was just totally original, then we've gone through so many of the big things in society that are powerful and relevant for people, from ageism to wealth to gender and this was the last one that we purposefully, I personally, held back until now. But we always knew, it's such a powerful force in all of our lives and it can have such pull for good and bad that once we introduced this it would be a whole new level. It feels like it's happening at the right time, having done these other angles on the show before, but this one was always going to be a crowning glory really. What happened was amazing, it really was.

You mentioned that you think this is the right time to introduce money, what do you mean? 

Well, I think with money, so much of society is driven by it. I understand it, it's natural, but it's such a powerful force in everyone's life. But it's interesting because ultimately money is neutral, it's us that distils power to it and I always think money amplifies what we are.

It really does expose human nature, doesn't it?

It does. I think the island full stop does that. It just amplifies so much of who we are and it strips it right back. Looks, material things and all the things that society places so much value on, and so actually, if you don't have it and it's taken away what do you really value? And then you start dropping money back into the equation and it's like dropping grenades onto this island, it really was like that. We would watch the footage come back every day and we'd be like, "Oh wow!" You couldn't anticipate how people reacted and you never know what people's characters are like. You never know them really well because it's just words, and until I hear you're good under pressure, you never really see what people are made of and that's the art of the island. 

What were you shocked about the most when you saw people's reactions to the cash?

How powerful the draw is, and how people's values can change when they get dazzled. That's the flip side of the coin and the positive so that by the end it was incredibly inspiring seeing people's journeys of looking in that mirror and saying actually, "What is this for? How much does it mean to be able to do good things with this and help people and support people and let's start to plan amazing things for other people." Suddenly you see this light starting to shine through the cracks. I'm always interested, and we gave people an amnesty at the end, for a day, where everybody had to declare what they had. It's such a driving force in society and we wanted to say, "Hold on. What's the real value of it and what are the lessons from this”, you know?

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Do you think the way they all deal with the money will spark arguments between viewers over what they would do in that situation?

Yeah! There is going to be so many arguments like that. I think one of the lessons is that the real wealth in all our lives isn't always found just in hard currency. What are you after, money or happiness? Surely happiness matters more and do you need money for that happiness? I do think that sitting with those guys around that fire at the end, there was a real sense of what we have in life, these shared experiences show perspective on life and perspective on our families back home and our perspective on our work and our own values, it is priceless, you know that matters more than just some cash in your pocket. There's something beautiful when people realise that the real wealth in their lives is found in relationships. It's a really beautiful thing to experience for yourself and it's a beautiful thing to see in other people, especially when they've had a real journey, when it didn’t start off like that. 

One islander Ben said he went on the island obsessed with the trappings of wealth, came off the island and within weeks had sold all his watches and his car…

Ben had a pretty strong argument for saying he really found riches on the island. And that's a really cool, positive thing from Treasure Island.

What are your thoughts about money?

Well I think it's always easy for somebody who has money to go, "It's not a driving force of my life." So I'm mindful of that, and I don't want to belittle it because people have real battles financially. All of us are different, but for me the raw pursuit of money has never been a huge driver for me, that's just the honest truth, it really hasn't, otherwise I would have never joined the Army! I would have become a numbers guy maybe, because I would say the chances of what's ended up as my career working out is so small. I say this to my teenage boys that there's been a huge amount of luck involved in my career, and if I'd have been after just money, I would have picked a different career in the outset.

I mean, as a young person I just wanted to really follow my heart and I loved adventure, loved the relationship with people under pressure on a big mountain or in a jungle or on an island, I've always thrived off that. So that's been a much more motivated thing for me. I do think at the same time, my dad used to say, "If you really do what you really love, not always but pretty often, money will kind of follow. But chase the money and it's a bit like a butterfly, it will fly away. But if you just keep on doing what you're doing and then a butterfly comes around it's a nice surprise." I'm not saying it's always like that, but it's felt like a little bit in my life. I've loved adventure and the survival side of things and doing that has brought me my career.

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You don’t seem to be someone who chases fame either, we don't see you at many showbiz parties or on red carpets?

Well I think, none of that is real, it really isn’t! I see it so often in people and especially Running Wild guests, a number of people talk about that and they're seeing the whole cycle. If you chase that stuff, it's so transient and it's never enough. I am telling this to myself as much as you, you've just got to remember this stuff's not real. The real stuff in your life is found in your relationships with those you love. It's your family, your children, and trying to find work that is fulfilling and makes you smile. And the other side of it is that I'm not only quite shy at those sort of events, I don't actually enjoy them. I have a much more extroverted sister who's always going, "God you're rubbish at these things." She'd love it, she'd love to go to all those parties and events, I just find it very uncomfortable, it's just not my natural place. I love being with good friends, sat with your over the wall somewhere, I'm genuinely more comfortable then and I enjoy that. I love the mountains, I love being in these places with great friends. But being at a big party and being in a big room of people and it's all loud, there's an awful lot of showing off, there really is. I actually haven't been to something for so long that I swore this summer that I would go to one. I won't say what it was, but I went to one of the big parties in London and after 10 minutes I was like, “This is why I don’t come, this is such a dark side of society. Every guest was desperate to tell everyone else how famous and successful they are and it just makes me curl in a ball.

What did you think when you found out that Ivar Mountbatten was on the island? 

Well the casting is so key on the island, you know, it's getting that right and trying to get a fair cross section of society. But when it comes to dropping money, it's just another interesting dynamic to have somebody who is a Lord. At one point I think he was arguing saying he had more need of the money because his mortgage was bigger and he has school fees for the kids. I can see the logic but that's an example of where views can differ. Some people will listen to him and wouldn't necessarily see it like that, it’s very interesting.

Mano is a leading brain surgeon and says his time on the island has made him better at his job, he feels he has more clarity of thought to deal with intense operations. what do you think about that?

That's amazing, see that's cool, that's not just about happiness, actually now you're saying it's made him more efficient. That's the main thing, you're less clouded by crap. What a waste of energy is all these envy and greed emotions are for all of us. It’s such a waste of emotion. I love that story of Mano, that's great.   

Jack was branded the Mowgli of the island and you praised his behaviour on the island…

I really meant it, his journey was incredible, he has my full respect. He did that the hard way. Through cheerfulness and through kindness and through helping other people and by selflessness and it really, really shines bright as you watch those episodes. It's not rocket science, but it's incredibly difficult when you're blinded and dazzled by cash. You know? It's very easy, everyone talks like this when I'm driving them in on the boat. And I smile because I know as soon as the bright lights come on and that cash is waved, people act differently and sure enough you don't know who any of the real heroes are until you're really under pressure, you're really hurting, you're really hungry, thirsty, scared and then £100,000 is waved in front of your face. Then you learn about who the heroes are. And Jack was one of them.

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What motivates you to keep working when you don’t have to given the success you’ve had?

I really love it, and The Island is a great example of what I love in that you go and take these guys off to the edge of the world and you see that light and pride in their eyes when they come back. It is a quiet, respectful, humble, confidence that you cannot buy anywhere. Your money can't buy it, you've got to earn it, you've got to earn this through blood, sweat, endeavour, massive failure, you've got to learn it by facing fears, you learn these lessons on The Island and those that endure, invariably have this feeling at the end. I see it every time. There's a light in their eyes, it's quiet assurance, and it's really powerful. So I did this stuff, why? Same reason why I'm Chief Scout. It's about the outdoors and what scary, tough, cold and desperate experiences give people, is that quiet sense of we need each other, and sometimes you’ve got to reach out a hand, together we're stronger, and I can be really proud of myself. We see that through The Island, we see that through the Scouts, we see it through Running Wild, and it's the reason I do my job. 

What would make you want to call it a day then? Can you see that day happening?

Well I would love to do a lot of all of this stuff, but without being filmed! That’s the answer to that! The bit I struggle with is being on camera. I actually find it difficult, I don't really enjoy having a camera pointed at me. So I think maybe there would be a day where we just do this without the cameras. But I want an adventure and the empowerment of these experiences always to be part of my life. Whether it's through kids or grandchildren or great-grandchildren, what a cool thing to have in your life, why give that up?

You mention Running Wild, you've taken some amazing famous figures and political figures into the wild, is there anybody else you would love to take out on your adventures with you?

Yeah, the list of great guests grows. But the one thing I've learned is that I don’t talk about who are target list is until we've got them! We're lucky with that show, we just keep attracting amazing individuals. I'm very grateful for that privilege to show them our amazing world. 

Shows like Treasure Island and Running Wild is about getting people outdoors. Why do you think it's more important than ever to get people outdoors? 

I think it’s because we grow so much, it's where character develops, you know? It is what Baden Powell the founder of Scouting said, "A week in the field is worth a year in the classroom." Scouting is based on that and I see it with all our TV shows, it's the same thing. When speak to the guys once they are off the island, “What do you learn by sitting through a typhoon with no shelter, no fire, you’re cold, hungry, you can't learn that in an office”. There is something intangible, but our shows are rich in friendships and in hardships and they never give up spirit. Ultimately that's what the outdoors, and the wild teaches us. If we learn these things there, we become so much more powerful in life because we think, "Oh this bit's easy. I remember that time we were stuck in that jungle or stuck wherever," you know? And that empowers you, it's all about being empowered for your everyday life. These guys aren't going to go back to another island in a hurry, but they're going to use these lessons they've learned about wealth and each other and that sometimes putting your head down and keeping going helps you for the rest of your lives, you know?

 Do you think the more we get outdoors, the more inclined people are going to be to save our planet? 

Yeah, I mean that's definitely the other side of it. To understand why the whole climate change mess is so important, you've got to see it. That's the reason Barack Obama wanted to go on the journey with me, he'd studied the science and he said, "I've seen all the science, I understand that, but I want to see it." And I think when you stand up close you see the effects of climate change closer, whether it's some animals who, like on Hostile Planet, the show I did where you actually see the devastating effect on wildlife all around the world from climate change, you see litter on an island in the middle of the Pacific. That's the classroom, isn't it, for all of those guys on this show, one of the lessons they came back with is they're never going to throw a bit of plastic onto the ground because they've seen it on an island.

Does your heart drop when you see all the impact of what we are doing to the planet? 

I really see it all over the world, everywhere I go. We come from a generation where the older people debate it and young people want to solve it, and I see that. I've just been to the World Scout Jamboree in America, 50,000 young kids from all over came from different countries all united in a message that we have to tackle climate change. We have to sort out plastic.We have to reduce fossil fuels. This isn't like, “Let's debate whether or not it's a good idea”, this is like, “Do it, do it, do it”. I'm proud to encourage that in these guys and trying to shine a light where it's most powerfully seen. I feel like it gives us all hope when you've got kids like that, being such loud voices for others, but it's got to come from the politicians, you know? So that’s why having Narendra Modi in the wild was so powerful, I did that show because he said, "My vision is to clean up India." And the message is you've got to do it. Words are words, you've got to actually do it, you've got to lead. So taking him on that journey was important. 

We need to get you with Donald Trump because he doesn't believe in any of it…

I know! I think Ivanka really understands it and I'm always hopeful that there are not many people who don’t get persuaded to do things by their daughters, so I just really hope that her understanding on this will rub off, eventually, on him. Let's pray! 

You've done so much, you've achieved so much, have you got anything left on your bucket list that you still want to tick off?

Well, you know, all the things of achievement, all of that is tins and pots, you know, tins and pots, nothing more. The real wealth, like Treasure Island says, is around us all and in our relationships, in our family, and that’s a constant thing, you never stop giving to and trying to invest in and protect and treasure. So yeah I love all the TV shows we do as a team, I'm super proud of being Chief Ambassador in World Scouting and the influence that young people can have there. Our Be Military Fit legacy, that’s really important to me because that's so rooted in our veterans and empowering them with businesses after they leave the military. But all of this stuff is the same thing really, it’s about empowering people through adventure, and I hope I'll do that for a while. 

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