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moonctzeny · 4 years ago

Text

First Times

“Jae”, you whispered, gaining his attention, “We will still be best friends after this, right?”

He pulls you closer to him, making your face rest on his naked chest. He smelled like sweat and that intense body spray, like those days he came back from his basketball practice to meet you under the treehouse. He smelled like home.

pairing: childhood friend/ceo! jaehyun x fem! reader

genre: smut, angst

word count: 6.584k

warnings: loss of virginity, then not so virgin sex lol, squirting

summary: “Jaehyun had been your best friend ever since you were 7 years old, but after a certain incident he disappears, without informing you of his whereabouts. You had come to terms with the fact that you’ll never see him again until your paths cross unexpectedly, meeting as boss and employee”

a/n: I feel like ceo! jaehyun fics are overwritten so I tried to focus more on the childhood friends to lovers aspect, giving it a little twist

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There was no way that was him.

When you were 10 years old you couldn’t wait to have your first kiss. You were plain obsessed with the romance dramas that were playing on tv, your mom complaining about having to witness the same unrealistic tropes over and over again, but you stayed frozen in front of the screen.

Why were the characters so caught up in the thought of seeing each other? Why were they willing to risk everything they had for the other person? You were curious to find out about the love the grown ups talked about, and playing mommy and daddy with the neighbor’s son, Jaehyun, wasn’t cutting it anymore.

He was waiting for you in his treehouse, preparing his toys for your playdate. A table of pots and cutlery on one side of the room and a battlefield with ships on the other. He preferred when you two dueled for the “fate of your country”, but he knew you liked to play house so he compromised. One hour of what you like and one hour of what he liked, that’s what his mom had said.

You stomped inside, your pout not matching his excited smile.

“Finally, you’re here! Can we play my games first? My uncle got me new soldiers, look!” He ran up to you, a bunch of different green miniatures in his hands. You didn’t bother to spare him a glance, too caught up in your personal drama.

“I don’t want to play games,” you whined, “I want a boyfriend!”

Jaehyun blinked a couple times, confused. “But you have one, me. I am your friend and I am a boy”

You threw your head back in frustration, groaning so loudly that the rest of the neighborhood probably heard you. “Noo it’s not the same! We don’t kiss on the lips and stuff!”

The little boy came closer to you, scowling. He was starting to get really impatient with your whining over these dramas that you liked so much. So what if you don’t kiss and stuff? It’s no big deal anyways!

He grabbed your ears, bringing you closer to his face and he gave you a small peck. Your first kiss.

“There. Will you play with me now?”

When you turned 18 you exchanged your love for dramas with a love for art. You also exchanged your calculus workbooks for oil paints and acrylics, busy with piecing together a portfolio that would get you accepted into art school. There was one thing that stayed stable in your life, however, that followed you from childhood into adolescence.

“Hey, sorry for being late, basketball practice took longer than I expected”, Jaehyun apologized and joined you at his backyard. The treehouse had gotten too old for inhabiting but the trunk you were currently lied against served its purpose as your current hangout after school.

“Hey”, you sniffled and he finally noticed how watery your eyes were. He dropped his sportsbag immediately, and sat next to you on the slightly moist grass, your arms touching.

“I’m guessing Mark denied your offer to go to the prom with you?”

You nodded, hiding your face in his embrace before he sees you crying. Being Jaehyun’s friend wasn’t always easy. His easygoing personality and good looks on top of being president of four school clubs made him one of the most popular kids in high school. You reminded yourself that he’s still the same boy you’ve always known, that you don’t have to feel threatened by the army of girls always clinging by his sides, but it was hard. It was hard to recount your rejection from this morning when he probably has never truly felt that feeling before. Even with his college applications pending, you knew he’d be successful. Any institution would be crazy to miss up on him, and the rest of the world felt that way about him too.

“I don’t wanna talk about it”, you mumble, leaning back before you stain his t-shirt even more, “Did Mina find the dress she is gonna wear after all?”

Your genuine worry for his prom date, even after your failed promposal, broke his heart. You were always so empathetic, so selfless, so nice to him. He didn’t have it in him to let you stay in your state of misery.

“Nothing”, he blurted, rushing to explain after seeing the confused look on your face, “she bailed on me last minute”.

That was a lie, but you didn’t have to know that. Jaehyun cancelling on his date would be a dick move, he knew that, but you being happy was his priority. It always has, at least as long as he was still here. “So if you didn’t mind, I was thinking we go together? As friends of course”

“Jae! I love you!”

You tackled him with a hug, the grass tickling his neck and he just laughed at the adorable screech you let out. You both stayed there enjoying the chill evening, talking about renting cars and matching outfits.

He let you rant about the dress you’ve chosen to wear and he promised to convince his parents to leave his house empty for the after party.

The prom night was the last time you saw Jung Jaehyun. There you two were, sprawled out on his bed and tired off your asses, spending what seemed like the most fun night of your life together. Your feet were in blisters from all the dancing, head spinning from the after-party vodka. Jaehyun had turned his head towards you, tie undone and staring at a piece of glitter that had fallen on your collarbone. He looked as handsome as ever in his suit, red eyes glued on you and a satisfied smile on his face.

“Your parents are gonna be so mad when they see the mess on their carpet. I told you not to get Jungwoo drunk”

Jaehyun laughed, his deep laugh reverbrating through the room. “Not if you tell them in the morning. They can’t get mad at you. You told your mom you’re staying over, right?”

You nodded, maybe shaking your head a lot longer than needed but your tipsy self wanted to make sure you got your message across.

“You know”, you started with a snicker, “she gave me like a million condoms for tonight. Probably thought I was planning on losing my virginity like any teenager with a social life”

He kept staring at you, eyes lazily taking in the sight of your pretty smile. “Yeah, same with my dad. I think that’s the only reason why they gave me the house”

You whipped your head to face him at the speed of light, mouth gaped open and staring at him incredulously. “Jae, you’re a virgin??”

It was hard to believe. I mean sure, you hadn’t had any experience in the sex department either but you were, well, you. Shy with new people, horrible at flirting and a bit standoff-ish if you were being honest. But your best friend, as likable and good looking as he was, had never been with a girl before?

“Well, yeah, I was just kinda- I was waiting for the right person, you know? Someone to make it memorable”

You sighed, relating with his words but also...

“I just wish I could get it over with”, you confess and you saw Jaehyun gulp visibly. He was glancing at the nothingness on his ceiling, lost in his thoughts.

“Yeah”

The silence lasted for a few minutes, only the distant sound of a passing police car interrupting it. He sat on his knees, the conversation sobering him up significantly. “Remember when you wanted to have your first kiss and I just did it so you wouldn’t complain about it anymore?”

You smile fondly at the memory, waiting for him to continue. There was somewhere he was getting at.

“Well, we both want to not be virgins anymore, right? So let’s just do it”

You felt an electric tension growing between you. It was like you were holding two magnets, begging to touch each other but you still held them apart, because if you let go you just knew things would never be the same again.

Jaehyun leaned in, dunking his head at the last minute and kissing your neck instead. It was tentative, a kiss that tested the waters. He was still holding back, wanting to make sure you wanted this as much as he wanted it too. You scooted closer to him, placing your legs to frame his closed knees, putting his face gently in your hands.

His pupils were dilated, shifting to a million places but your voice managed to make him concentrate to your eyes solely. You could hear his heartbeat bumping in his chest.

“Jae, I love you. You have to trust me, ok?”

“Okay” he nodded, eyes wide open and sincere, “I love you too, so much”

You kiss him finally, and the room around you spun even more. The feeling was strangely comfortable, yet your lungs were struggling to do their job. In that moment, it felt like everything in the world was the way it was supposed to be, and you two were a part of that bigger, perfectly orchestrated picture.

He grabbed you by your waist, bringing you over his lap. His fingers danced from your thighs to the zipper of your dress, the cool midnight air spreading goosebumps on your back. You help him out by pulling your straps down, staying in your strapless bra.

“If I knew what was gonna happen tonight I would wear cuter underwear”, you mutter and Jaehyun chuckles. Why did your heart skip a beat at the sound? It’d be a lie to say you hadn’t found yourself staring at your best friend a minute too long in the past, but tonight- Tonight the effect he had on you held an intensity that you’ve never felt before.

“Underwear can only help you out so much. They can’t do wonders”

“Wow Jae, way to make me drier that the Sahara desert”

He dipped back down to your throat, sucking at the soft skin over your collarbones and earning an embarassingly high-pitched moan from you. You felt him smile against your neck as he licked over the nibbled flesh in little circles, wishing he would repeat that motion on another part of your body.

“We’ll see about that”

As if he wanted to prove his point, he grinds you over his erection, lighting your insides on fire. Your dress was short, meaning that you could feel all of him-and it seemed like a whole lot- over your panties that were damping up.

“Show me your tits and I’ll show you mine”

Jaehyun laughed at your comment; ridiculous yet successful at calming his ragged breath down. The buttons of his dress shirt opened one by one, each of them revealing another inch of his smooth chest. His skin was glowing, and his abs proved that puberty was starting to work its wonders on him.

You trace your fingers over two moles on his chest, leaving soft kisses over them. You could feel his pulse on your lips, fast and pumping blood all over his body. Despite his attempts at staying collected over the loss of his virginity, you realized that he was probably as nervous and scared as you are.

“Your turn”, he whispered, bringing you back into the moment. You reach back to unclasp your bra, freeing your boobs, and a smile cracked on your lips at Jaehyun’s reaction.

He stayed frozen and gawking at your chest, hands twitching and not knowing what to do with the sight you so generously offered him. Bringing his hands into your own, you place them over your mounds, guiding him into squeezing them. He continues on his own, pinching your nipples as he leans forward for another kiss, probably to hide his evident blush from you.

The making out continued, leaving you both with only your underpants on. He places you on your back, and starts petting your clit over your panties, the motion so soft it drove you insane. Hungry for more.

You started whining, grinding forwards against his fingers and he chuckled, pulling the fabric away to leave you uncovered. The chilly air was quickly exchanged with the feeling of his warm digits, causing a different kind of shivering.

When he inserted the first finger in you, you felt like your whole body was burning up with a high fever. You’d done this again, with your ex-boyfriend in summer camp but it definitely didn’t feel as sinful and delicious and pleasureable as this. It pulled at a knot in your stomach, begging to be untangled and Jaehyun was taking his sweet time with you. Quick circles on your swollen bud and a nibble on your neck, that’s what it took for him to enjoy you shaking through an orgasm.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful”

You looked angelic with the sweat trickling down your chest, skin glowing in the limelight and Jaehyun would just sit and stare if it wasn’t for the tent in his boxers that was screaming for attention. Pulling at the soft fabric, you sprung him free and the boldness that came when you did started to evaporate. It hit you in that moment, that he had seen all of you and now you saw all of him- yes you had been best friends for years but this intimacy was unprecedented. And you liked the feeling.

You put him in your grasp, moving your fist in a pivoting motion with his precum as your lubricant. He throws his head back with a grunt that almost made you cum a second time and urged you to pick up the pace. Unsure of what to do next, you licked your other palm and started to massage his balls hoping he liked it. He did by the sound of his moans, but stopped you abruptly, scaring you that you accidentally did something wrong in your inexperience.

“If you continue like this I’m gonna cum. Let’s do this“

You swallow on nothing and reach to your jacket on the floor for the condoms your mum gave you.

“Want a pink one? A green maybe? Blue?”, you joke and he pets your hair lovingly, looking down at you.

“Blue. Your favourite colour”

You smiled warmly at his response, satisfied with your decision to share this moment with your best friend. With someone who knew you so well.

Unwrapping the plastic, you placed the rubber over his hardness with shaking hands, following the instructions as best as you could. Jaehyun leaned down over you, planting a dozen kisses over your face as he positioned himself over your entrance.

“Ready?”

You nodded, giving him permission to dip his tip in, the first inches stretching you out nicely. The wetness caused by your orgasm helped your situation a lot, the slickness allowing him to dive a little deeper. Then, the stinging started, making you hiss and he kissed you immediately, trying to soothe you.

“I know, baby, I know. I’m sorry. We have to go through the hard part now ok?”

The nickname playing over and over again in your head gave you the patience needed to endure him bottoming out, along with the first thrusts. It was uncomfortable, but the feeling of him inside you, of the two of you coming together as one, released some chemical in your brain that made most of the pain go away. He took his fingers from your hips to gently pat away the teardrops staining your cheeks.

“That’s it baby, you’re doing so well”

His words and the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls drew a moan out of your half open mouth, the sound carrying on the air you two shared and landing on Jaehyun’s lips. There was a tension on your belly and something told you it wasn’t just physical, more like an emotional revelation, a fire already ignited but flared up by this incident. Your feelings towards your childhood friend, a love that was more than platonic.

For you, at least.

Jaehyun was young and you felt so tight around him that he didn’t take long to finish. He pulled out last minute, taking the condom out and spilling spurts of his cum all over your stomach. It earned a scowl and an eyebrow raise from you but the way he apologized, saying you “looked too beautiful to resist”, was too cute to stay mad at.

You laid back on his bed, holding hands and trying to register what just happened. The ocassional car drove by, the lights illuminating Jaehyun’s eyes that you noted were glossy. Maybe it was just as intense for him, you thought and squeezed his hands a little tighter.

“Jae”, you whispered, gaining his attention, “We will still be best friends after this, right?”

“Forever”

Forever must have a different meaning in the Jungs’s dictionary, because after that night, Jaehyun was unreachable. You tried to text him, call him, only to be ignored and faced with stupid excuses.

You thought long and hard about why your best friend suddenly decided to ghost you. Maybe he didn’t like the sex. Understandable, since it was your first time, but it’s not like you promised him a night of mind blowing love making or anything. You decided that he probably felt too awkward to talk to you after that night and you told yourself to give him some space.

Three days passed, then another, then a week and still no sign of Jaehyun. Tired of the radio silence and irritated by his attitude, you got ready to visit him at his house, confront him one-on-one.

No, you didn’t wear your favourite perfume for him. It just so happened that you chose to put on that dress he had complimented you on before. You didn’t hope for him to call you beautiful again, or have a retake of the prom night fun. The butterflies in your stomach were probably the heavy lunch you ate. Yes, it was all coincidental.

You walked down the stairs with a pep in your step, storming through your parents in the kitchen.

“And were are you going so happy, young lady?”, your dad chirps and you smile at him.

“I’m gonna go see Jaehyun real quick!”

“Real quick? To a different country? He came back already?”

You stilled at the sound of your mother’s words, confused.

“A different country? I’m going down the street to the Jungs, mom”

“Honey, the Jungs are there but not Jaehyun. He moved abroad to study Business. Didn’t he tell you?”

The ground beneath your feet seemed to melt and pull you under the third level of hell. How could he get accepted to a university and not tell you? How could he move countries and not even say goodbye? How dare he make you fall in love with him, give you the best night of your life and then leave you hanging like that?

You ran upstairs to your room, wailing in what seemed like a mixture of rage and sadness. You felt so dumb, in your sundress and shaved pussy and cute underwear you chose out for him. It was all so, so unfair and the feeling ate you alive. The feeling that you hated Jung Jaehyun.

So now, when he stands from across the room, all suited up but with the additional rank of CEO on his shoulders you couldn’t believe that it was him.

Your portfolio did get you into an art school after all, majoring in product design. Your innovative work of rebranding the latest releases, taking on the aesthetic part of the marketing, landed you a great deal in J industries. The product was good and your skills were better, so when the sales went off the roof you weren’t surprised. What you didn’t expect however, was that the boss of your boss, who was currently staring at you from across the launch party, was your childhood best friend.

Ex-best friend.

“Damn, y/n, Mr. Jung hasn’t taken his eyes off of you all night, huh?”, said Sook, the assistant marketing director who was working by your side on the project.

“Well, he should have come over and congratulate me by now. I did help save his company”

She laughed lightly, unaware for how deeply rooted your dislike for the man really was. You continue your conversation when you suddenly see her turn visibly tense, sweeping her hands on the front of her dress. Oh, you should have watched what you wished for.

“M-Mr. Jung, how are you enjoying this party? This is y/n, she did most of the designs for the campaign-”

Eyes widening in shock, you get lost in some passerbys, meddling with the other coworkers in the gathering. Sook left a little yelp when she realized you had dissolved into thin air in seconds. You could still faintly hear her apologizing merrily.

“Oh I swear she was sitting right next to me Mr. Jung”

Chatting up with friends and even strangers, you made sure you never stayed in the same place for too long. Jaehyun’s eyes were still boring holes into your face no matter where you went, a smirk plastered on his own every time he caught you checking out for him.

In a last attemp to turn invisible, you find cover on a small couch, slightly hidden by some ballon decorations and you shoved a book to your face, faking interest. But alas, a dip in the furniture next to you and the familiar woody smell soon rang a bell of danger in your head.

“You know your book is upside down, right?”

Wincing at your fatal mistake, you turn around to be faced with a pair of brown eyes you thought you’d never see again. You noticed how they’re glowing in pride and ambition and remembered how they shined that night from tears, how you tried to read through him, just like now.

“Jung. Got bored of your little staring game?”

Jaehyun had grown an inch or two since you last saw him, you notice, standing even taller in his exemplary posture. He still stuck with his long hairstyle, locks styled back sleekly and exposing his defined cheekbones. His skin was even paler than usual, glowing in the dark room. Being a CEO probably meant staying inside a lot, making tanning for his complexion almost impossible.

“Considering you applied to my company, y/n, I figured you’d come to me now as well”

Why was he using that voice around you? You‘d made fun of him numerous times in the past for that deep tone, only coming up when he was trying to woo some girl.

“I didn’t know it was your dumb company”, you start, rolling your eyes in annoyance, “I’m surprised you even remember my name”

“How could I forget the girl I went to prom with?” And took my virginity, you wanted to add but knew he censored his words on purpose. “Also, Sook mentioned your name like, five minutes ago”

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about”

His silence was uncomfortable, thickening the atmosphere even more. You saw regret and guilt in his features, lips struggling to find the right words and hands fumbling with his tie.

“I know you’re mad, rightfully so. But please, come over to my place for a drink. For old time’s sake”. The deep voice was persistent and that’s when you realized that Jaehyun wasn’t a teenager anymore. So many years had passed since that summer, enough to mature you both physically and emotionally, yet the wound stung still so freshly.

“You can’t just choose when to re-enter my life so easily”, you huffed and started to walk away from him, when you felt his fingers wrapping gently around your wrist.

“y/n, please. I’ve missed you. One drink, that’s it”

It was so annoying, you thought as you entered his condo, how his dimples were still so effective at convincing you. It was quite luxurious, definitely bigger than your apartment and by the looks of the fancy furniture, his hard work as CEO surely paid off.

“You like it?”

“Not as much as your treehouse but it’s okay”, you reply him and he grins at the reminiscence of your old shenanigans as children.

“I’ll bring the wine”

You snooped around a bit more, examining the decorations of his living room. It was quite minimalistic, an abstract painting or two, a weird sculpture, no family pictures in sight. You always hated places like that, so lifeless, so impersonal. Jaehyun had too rich of a personality for that.

He sat on his leather couch, placing two glasses of white wine in front of him and motioning you to sit down as well. You took a seat as far away from his as possible and he winced at the distance you kept, now also turning physical.

Jaehyun started a conversation by asking you about your work at the company, then moving on to your personal life. You politely answered him, even joked about how single you are. He started recounting the start of his company, how he got the idea to begin from scratch and the hardships that came with it. As it was expected from the bachelor’s vibes his place emitted, CEO position didn’t allow for enough free time for him to meet someone new, let alone something serious. Your little meet up seemed to be going well. Too well to be exact. One glass down and you finally had enough of feigning ‘happy old friends catching up’.

“Why did you bring me here Jaehyun? Really bring me here”

The man sighed at your tone, running his fingers through his hair and messing their gelled-up styling. Getting up from his position, he finishes up his second glass and sits closer to you, body facing yours.

“I guess... I owe you an apology. For back then. I should have told you I’m moving abroad”

“Yes, Jaehyun, you should have. Especially after what we did before you left”

He closed his eyes in shame, glossy after he reopened them. A serious expression darkened his features, looking as solemn as that last night you saw him before his disappearance and hanging from your lips. “Do you regret it? Going through with it?”

“No”, you answer immediately, because it was the truth. All the guys you’ve slept with in your time as an adult, though more experienced than high-school Jaehyun, were missing that one factor that none other than your best friend could offer you. Connection, vulnerability, care. True love.

He sighs, once again, clearly relieved by your answer but still speaking in a bittersweet tone.

“Good, I would really hate myself if you did. I was just, so scared you’d forget about me. I had to know you’d remember me. Then you said this whole thing about wanting to have our first time and-“. You knew it was the wine in his system that caused his rambling. Jaehyun wasn’t one to stumble on his words, definitely not sentimental like that. But alcohol seemed to bring you closer when in need and at the right time so you let it, once again, and you let him finish. “-and you looked so beautiful that I couldn’t help myself. If I knew you’d grow up to look like this I would have never-“

He stopped himself mid sentence, regretting sharing more. You, however, weren’t done with this conversation yet. There were so many years spent repenting your friendship, so many questions running through your head, and you weren’t leaving this room until they got answered.

“If you didn’t want me to forget you that much then why not tell me you got accepted to a university abroad? I was your best friend!”. Your words were emotionally charged, unwillingly making your voice turn up in volume. It was as if you turned back into the little girl crying in her bedroom, finally getting the chance to say all those things she was screaming in her pillow. “I would be so happy for you, I loved you”

“Yes you did! You literally said that every single day!”, Jaehyun yelled back, startling you, “And every single time it was as if you jabbed a knife in my chest! Did you know how much it killed me? To hear this from my best friend I’d been in love with for the past 10 years?”

“You- you were in love with me?”, you ask dumbly, voice light in disbelief, a stark difference from Jaehyun’s a second ago.

He settled his breathing, hands fixing his hair once again in abashment.

“I knew that if I told you I had to go abroad you would get all sad and start crying and I wouldn’t be able to see you like that. I knew that the moment you’d tell me you miss me I would drop everything to be with you. That night that we had sex.. I didn’t plan it but I thought it would be better for you if I made you hate me. And when I saw you again today- it felt like not one day had passed since high school. I didn’t know how to approach you, what to say. I’m sorry”

You sat there in shock, connecting the dots in your brain. All the feelings you were trying to repress around him, the lingering glances and butterflies in your stomach, were reqruited all along. You knew exactly what he meant earlier, about time seeming to freeze. The way he looked at you now, all teary eyed and red and shaking was utterly and overwhelmingly the warm Jaehyun that met you every night after school. And you wouldn’t let another day go to waste.

You lean forward, capturing his lips into a kiss long overdue. It was tentative and you started pulling back when he places both hands on the sides of your neck, keeping you from letting go. His fingertips grasp part of your hair and you lean your face sideways, melting into the kiss and his touch. A lick on his bottom lip and now your tongues were touching, groaning at how much better he got at this and wanting to put his skill to better use. Tugging on his soft locks, he moans and his baritone voice made the hairs on your arms stand on edge.

You moved your hands on his chest, palming the defined muscles and deciding you wanted to treat your eyes, ripping his shirt open in one move. Jaehyun grabs the meat of your thighs, hands gripping the edge of your dress and pulling it upwards until it falls over your head. He dipped into your neck immediately, sucking and nibbling passionately right in the middle, your moans sounding breathless with the pressure he puts on your throat. Trailing down, he left a path of open mouthed kisses, now focusing on the mounds of your breasts that your bra wasn’t covering. A flick of his wrist and the piece of underwear was gone, lips surrounding your nipple, releasing it with a loud pop.

You moan out his name and his growl’s animalistic, nails digging on the softness of your hips.

“Fuck I love that sound”

He probably made it a goal to hear it again as he started kissing on your inner thighs, the bruises he left behind teasing you to the point of begging. You lift you hips to discard the skimpy underwear you chose for tonight, Jaehyun’s breath fanning your clit. A few kitten licks and your back is already lifting from the leather, his hands intertwining with yours to keep you in place.

Practice makes perfect and Jaehyun must have had a lot of it, the interchanging of sucking, licking and spitting on your pussy making you lose your mind in the most delicious way. You were in the midst of murmuring a mix of praises when he finally finds that spot that has you trembling under his tongue. Riding out your high, you grind against his face, the pleasure not leaving any room for shame. Chest heaving and vision restored, you glance down at Jaehyun, looking as irresistible as ever wiping his wet lips and chin.

You were fully prepared and willing to return the favor so you motioned him to stand up, positioning the back of your neck over the hand rest of the couch. After opening your mouth wide he got the point, quickly ridding himself off his pants and boxer briefs, spitting profanities at how hot you looked for him right now.

You were upside down, but you could very well see Jaehyun’s hard and angry cock staring back at you. You always thought that maybe, since he was your first, you might have overestimated his size in your head. But your brain apparently hadn’t manipulated that memory in the slightest because that length and grith would definitely be a challenge for you. And hell, did you want to take it on.

He pushes through your lips, and your tongue is quick to engulf him. Licking up and down his shaft as best as you could, made Jaehyun grip the couch in an effort to keep his knees from buckling from pleasure. The position allowed him to push even deeper inside you, filling up your throat. He places his fingers over the bulge on your throat, watching it itently with every move of his hips.

Your eyes teared up and your throat started to burn but the sounds Jaehyun let out with every thrust made it all worth it. He finally pulls out, a string of saliva and precum landing on your lips and he is quick to to clean you up with his fingers. Collecting the wetness, he pushes his digits inside your mouth, and something changes in his glare, eyes darkening in the most lustful expression.

“I need you inside me”, you mumble with his fingers inside of you and he nods, asking if he should go get a condom. You search through the contains of your handbag, hands trembling with the way he is pushed up agaist you, erection digging in the softness of your ass as he’s nibling the skin on your shoulders.

You handed him the square foil and as soon as he takes it in his grasp, he pushed you down to the arm rest, back against the cushion and legs in the air. Moving your hand between your legs, you distracted him by playing with your pussy, speading the juices around and pushing your folds apart to direct him to your opening.

The first thrust felt divine, thick cock filling you nicely and making your head fall back in pleasure. Jaehyun threw your legs over his shoulders, eyes glued to yours as he kissed your calves, picking up his pace. The moans started rolling off your tongue, echoing inside the big lounge and accompanied by the skin slapping sound of your bodies.

“I missed your body so much”, he muttered as he gripped your waist, setting an incredible pace that had your feet flexing. You turned your head to the side, catching your reflection on the huge window leading to the balcony. Tits bouncing, Jaehyun’s flexed arms, his dick digging inside you. What a sight.

“See something you like?”, he chuckled darkly and you smiled up at him, grazing your nails over his biceps.

“Show me something to remember you by”

Jae halted his thrusts, turning you over to your stomach swiftly, ass in the air. He kneaded his hands over your ass, giving it a little spank and spread your cheeks apart. Placing his right knee on the arm rest, he dives inside you again, and the moan you let out barely sounded like you. His cock was so deep inside you that you had to close your eyes to relish the feeling of fullness, amplified by the light pain of the stretch. Jaehyun collected your hair in his fist, pulling your upper body against his chest as he wrapped an arm around your own.

“Open your eyes. See how nicely you take my cock. Think you’ll forget that?”, he growls in your ear, thumb digging in your cheek and palm slightly muting your sounds. The dirty talk, his cock grazing against the spot that drove you crazy and Jaehyun’s godly reflection pounding the shit out of you brought you over the edge again. He didn’t let you take any time off, hips continuing to bruise against you as feverly as before, and you thought you just might combust.

“Jaehyun, p-please, it’s too much”, you plead with as much power is left in your system, and he pulls out, only to start rubbing quick circles over your clit that had you thrashing in his arms.

You melt into his arms, a pressing feeling in your belly that you had never felt before and soon you climax for the third time, droplets of cum squirting out of your pussy and dripping onto the wooden flooring.

“This is so fucking hot”, Jaehyun mutters and starts thrusting inside you, trying to coax as much cum out of you as possible.

The waves keep coming, gushing out of you every time he pulls out, until he can’t take the sight anymore, coming with a shiver and a ragged breath.

You were sweaty and exhausted, smiling faintly as he showered you with kisses.

“Let’s get you cleaned up”

You try to stand up futilely, knees wobbling and unable to keep your balance. Jaehyun chuckles at the sight but helps you up like the gentleman he is, moving you to the floor’s bathroom.

You hop in and he joins you, letting the water run down your body and helping you soap up. It was very intimate but comfortable at the same time, his gentle caresses belonging to your skin. Everything felt right.

He was occupied with running his fingers over two hickeys he had planted on you earlier when you snap him out of his thoughts, voice barely audible over the running water.

“I’m sorry you felt like you had to lie to me to go study abroad. I think it’s pretty obvious after what we just did that I liked you too, but... I still would have let you move. Force you even.”

“You’re right. I’m sor-“

“I mean it Jaehyun. I’m so proud of you”

His eyes glimmered at your praise, wet eyelashes framing them and fluttering closed as he leaned down, pressing the sweetest kiss on your lips. It left you breathless, almost hurting when he pulled back. You could kiss him forever.

“I know you said I can’t just come back to your life like that but I want to try. I’ve seriously missed you”

“How about taking me to a date tomorrow night? To catch up some more”

He grinned brightly, eyes turning into crescent moons and dimples making your heart burst.

“Wherever you want”, he promised and took a step closer to you, hand snaking down your ass and pulling you against his wet body, “And speaking of making up for lost time... How about a round two?”

#jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun angst #nct scenarios #childhood #nct smut #jaehyun nct #nct angst #ceo jaehyun

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kerie-prince · 4 years ago

Text

the intern

Peter Parker x Reader (college au)

requested: (anon) plz plz plz give me some college aged, super powerful ( think stark ceo powerful ) peter parker shit. idc what the rest of the story is about, i just need a brooding, smoldering, suit wearing, extremely expensive, college aged spiderman. plz and thank you!!!!

warnings: language

summary: When you start a new internship at Stark Industries, you're not only surprised to find Peter working as your boss, but that he's not the shy neighborhood boy you grew up with

a/n: this doesn't follow canon so for this imagine, hammer industries is just a rival company and the snap never happened lol also i don't know anything more than operating a phone so don't expect me to write sciencey, techy stuff lmao

(gif source)

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you were running across the road to jump into a cab that was available. Your phone hadn't been charging all night as you thought it had which caused you to wake up forty-five minutes before the start of the interview. You need this internship before you graduate from Empire State and get your degree in robotics.

On the way there, you nearly got car sick as the driver took sharp turns and nearly ran past intersections seconds before they became red. Once in front of Hammer Industries, your heels clicked loudly as you ran inside the tall building. You checked in with the front desk and took the elevator up to the 10th floor.

Just as you arrived, Justin Hammer was calling your name. “I'm right here!” you nearly tripped on your heels and your breaths were short.

“I've called your name three times, do you understand what that makes you look like, correct?” Justin stood unphased as you stood up straight and tried to steady your breath. “All these people are on time. Some of these folks have been here for hours, even.”

“Yes, sir. I’m so sorry–”

“Shame, I really liked your resume and your report on the expansion of nano-technology. Try again next year, maybe.” Justin started to call out the next participant and when she got up you stepped in front of her, “Please Mr. Hammer, I need this internship or I can't graduate.”

The people in the waiting room had their eyes on the two of you, tension so thick that it was almost hard to breathe. “Then maybe you should have come on time,” he pushed you aside to let the next person in to interview. You quickly ran back out and spoke to no one all the way home. Your eyes and cheeks were aching as you held in the tears during your Uber ride. The driver wanted to ask if you were okay, but if you were to break down in his car he’d probably be stuck having to listen to what happened and if he was honest with himself, he didn't actually care.

Once you got to your apartment, you made a straight line to the kitchen. “Hey, how’d the interview go?” MJ, your roommate, asked while still looking at her computer. You reached into the freezer for your emergency ice cream pint, snatched a spoon and walked into your room without saying anything. “That bad, I guess,” MJ said to herself.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

You sat with MJ and Ned in the cafeteria, but had not touched any of the food on your plate. Your head was laid on the steel table and you just continuously groaned. “I’m a failure,” you whined.

“No, what you are is fucking dumb,” MJ commented as she ate.

“Thanks, Michelle, that makes me feel so much better,” you looked up to glare at her before laying her head back down. Ned felt bad that his friend was in despair, “How come you didn't ask Peter for help?”

“Huh?” you lifted your head back up some of your hair falling onto your face.

“Yeah, Peter already works at Stark Industries, why didn't you just ask him to get you in? You could even skip the internship altogether and be in full time,” Ned suggested. You gave it some thought, but something about it didn't sound right.

“No, I don't want to bother Peter. I don’t want him to think that I’m only calling him for a job,” you sighed. Ned texted Peter anyways. Unexpectedly, Peter texted him back immediately.

“He says it’s fine,” Ned showed you his phone to read the text. ‘Yeah man, tell her to come in tomorrow and Ms. Potts will interview her’

You let out a deep breath you didn't know you were holding and pulled out your phone.

��Thank you so much for helping me out’

(…)

‘No problem, anything for a friend’

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

The Stark Industries building was huge. It almost looked taller than the Empire State Building, and maybe it actually was. Your legs were shaking as you stared up at it. “Here goes nothing,” you assured yourself.

The lobby was bustling with people; workers walking around, a group of kids that seemed to be here on a field trip, and some teens taking pictures in front of one of Mr. Stark's Iron Man suits.

The trip up to the 17th floor was crowded with people as more and more entered in every passing floor. You had to squeeze yourself out and accidentally stepped on someone’s foot in the process.

Looking around, your jaw dropped. It was an open laboratory with groups of people putting together small robots, flying drones, and people laughing and talking. It was such a fun and cool looking environment, you wondered why you didn't just apply here in the first place.

Pepper Potts spotted you walking around and approached you with a tap on your shoulder. “Hi, I’m Pepper. You must be Y/N,” she reached her hand out to shake yours which you accepted. “Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Peter’s told me a lot about you. Come, follow me,” Pepper’s office had glass walls and a view of New York from behind her desk. You weren't particularly fond of heights, but even you would love to have an office view like that. Pepper gestured to the chair in front of her as she smoothed her dress to sit in hers. “So, I see here that you had an interview at Hammer’s. Can I ask why you chose them?” You didn't even know how they got that information. You hadn't seen or spoken to Peter in quite a while, so how Pepper knew that was beyond you. You sat there with your lips moving to say something but nothing was coming out.

Pepper seemed to have caught on what you were thinking and elaborated, “Before I do any interviewing, I do full background checks on everyone.” She had a gentle smile which made you feel better. You thought she would scold you or something considering the question did more than catch you off guard.

“My mother used to work there for a long time and I figured that I would follow,” you explained. Pepper nodded her head and wrote some notes down. She looked onto her computer and looked at everything there was about you. “Well, I see here that you have exceptional grades. 4.7 GPA since you started school and your paper on nano-technology has gotten much praise. I think even Tony read it.” No way. The Tony Stark read my paper? “So tell me, do you see yourself working here at Stark Industries?”

You looked outside and watched everyone in the open lab again. “Yes.”

“Then that’s all I need to hear. We’d love to have you here,” she reached over to shake your hand. You looked at her surprised and hesitantly shook hers. “Welcome to the team, Y/N.”

“Thank you so much!” You cupped her hand with both of yours and shook it a little too quickly, but she didn't seem to mind. You were ecstatic to start your path to your career, and at a dream place at that.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

Your alarm rang at the time you set it to, but there was no need for it. You couldn't sleep all night. Today is your first day of your internship and you were feeling so many things at once. Excited, nervous, happy, scared…

You tried to restrain yourself to a light breakfast, but MJ’s pancakes were to die for that you ate two whole stacks. You looked through your closet just about fifteen times; you had already picked an outfit the following night with the help of MJ, but when you put it back on, you hated it. It sucked for your roommate seeing as she had to sit through you changing from eight other outfits.

You tried to picture the lab again to see how other people dressed for a better idea to base it on your outfit choice. From what you remember, it was pretty casual, so that’s what you stuck to.

You were given your pass the day you were hired, so you had no issue walking inside. The elevator was just as packed as it was last time, but you were more composed so there were no toes being stepped on this time. You weren't exactly sure as to where you had to go, so you looked around to see if there were other interns to ask where to start.

“Y/N!” Peter’s voice surprised you from behind. Your shoulders jumped a bit, but relaxed at the view of his face. His face… you actually hadn't seen him for quite a while. Months, maybe. His jawline was more defined, and his once floppy hair was styled neatly. You tried to not look him up and down, but the temptation was definitely there. And the other thing, his voice was deeper than you last remembered. Is this really Peter Parker? “Hey, Peter.”

He gave you a hug that nearly made you lose breath. He was stronger than you remembered. A memory flashed back to when you were in junior high; you, Ned and Peter were hanging around the local park and you beat Peter on rounds on the monkey bars. He gave up after a couple bars, but you went back and forth a couple times. ‘Show off.’ But now, he had muscles that the shirt he was wearing hugged his biceps.

The hug was quick, and you had to pretend that he didn't just squeeze some life out of you. “Do you work on this floor?”

“Yeah, you’re actually assigned to work with my team. Come, I’ll show you around.” He started walking and you noticed how his posture changed. Damn, I know it hasn't been this long since I've seen him. Why does he look so different? He was wearing trousers. Trousers? Peter hates trousers. But his ass is looking great–

“Hey guys, this is Y/N. She’s going to be working with us as an intern. And I'll say this beforehand, no she's not going to be taking coffee or lunch orders,” Peter introduced you. There were various aged people in this group. Some were your age, and one person looked to have been in his thirties. Peter is in charge of this group? They all said ‘hi’ to you and went around introducing themselves.

Once that was finished, Peter pulled a chair for you on the table. “You’ll take notes for me while I give this presentation,” he whispered to you before walking in front of the table and started writing on the clear glass board.

He was talking quickly and didn't stumble over his words like he used to. Everyone was listening to him attentively and you jotted notes down as quickly as you could. Every now and then, you would steal glimpses of him and feel a sort of… well you felt something. Amazement? Inspiration? Adoration?

No doubt was Peter one of the smartest people you've ever met and here he was leading his own team and making potential products for Stark Industries at such a young age. Seeing him at work was so… it was indescribable to you but all you could think of was how different he is now. In a good way, of course.

Peter Parker has been your friend for years and to see him change from a bumbling, shy, adorable nerd into a confident, intelligent working man attracted you.

When you got home, you thought a lot about your first day. Being an intern at Stark Industries was really fun, so far. You weren't expected to do silly things like get coffee or lunch for everyone or pick up someone’s dry cleaning. You actually learned something and even had your opinions heard on some of the things that Peter suggested for his team’s upcoming product presentation.

If this is what it's like to be an intern, you couldn't imagine what it would be like working full time.

“How'd it go?” MJ stuck her head in your room. “It was fun. I'm working with Peter,” you explained your day to her.

“Cool,” was the last thing she said before she went to her own room for the night.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

In the past few months, your internship at Stark’s has been going swimmingly. Everyone's been so nice, and the work is so fascinating. You've gotten closer with Peter and along the way, he felt like he was more than a friend and boss to you.

Currently, everyone was getting ready for their final presentations for the upcoming annual Stark Industries Convention. It was going to be Peter’s first year presenting his own project with his team and you were so excited to be a part of it.

The time you’ve spent with Peter was really fun. He was a good mentor and a great friend. The only thing was that you couldn't help but look at him a little too long, and you’ve found yourself thinking about him during your classes or doing your homework. The shy boy from Midtown High was no more, replaced– no, grown into the Peter you know now. But you pushed all feelings aside to focus on your next thesis paper and mock-up of the handout brochures of Peter’s project.

Sometimes, you didn't even feel like an intern as Peter would ask for any ideas you had to make the project better and even let you help with assembly. He stayed true to his words and you’ve never once had to run for coffee or things like that. There’d be times when you would study some of the little parts under a magnifying glass and he’d come up slightly behind you and explain about some of the bits on the working table.

And every time he did that, your breath would be stuck in your throat and you’d have to remind yourself that this was just Peter helping you out and you’re just learning. But it was normal to want more every now and then… right?

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

The convention was just a few days away and you had trouble finding something to wear. These events were usually black tie events, but did that mean the presenting teams as well? Wouldn't that be uncomfortable?

One of the guys on your team, Richie, sat with you during lunch and talked about how he was probably going to wear the same suit as always. Not because he couldn't afford a new suit, but he was just a simple person and he only wears it once a year for the conventions and that’s all, so it’s still in mint condition.

The girls on your team and some from others were going dress shopping the day before and invited you to join. You were excited mainly because now you don't have to bother MJ for it.

Speaking of MJ, you were going to ask her to come with you. Pepper sent out the electronic invitations to everyone in the company and authorized plus ones to even interns. She’s never been to one – for reasons you were still confused about – but you wanted your best friend to be there for you. And if not MJ, then you bet Ned would still come with you. Wait, what if he’s going with Peter?

On cue, Peter had sat in the chair next to yours in the small break room, “Hey, Y/N.”

“Oh, hey Pete. You excited for Saturday?” Peter quietly stirred his coffee and gave you a small smile, “Uh, yeah. I’m nervous, but I’ve worked really hard on this. And everyone, too. Including you.”

You slightly blushed. I didn't do all that much you thought. You two just sat there taking small sips from the hot, bitter beverage.

“So… I wanted to ask you something,” Peter started.

“Mhm?” The coffee nearly slipped past your lips. You quickly grabbed a napkin to lightly dab some of it off of your lips.

“Well, as you know, we can bring anyone with us to the convention,” he trailed off.

“Yes?” Is he going to…

“And I wanted to know if you were bringing MJ with you.” Oh. You nodded your head and thought you hid your disappointment well but without knowing, Peter actually caught it for a split second. “Good. You can come with me,” he smiled and stood up.

You were in awe; without effort, Peter just asked you to be his date for Saturday.

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆:

“Dude, how are you not ready yet? He’s gonna be here any minute,” MJ sat at her computer per usual working. Your music was too loud for her taste playing from your shared bathroom. Peter said he would pick you up at 7, and it was currently 6:50.

You had put on and removed your make-up at least five times. Something was always wrong; one of the wings would either be thicker than the other, the blush would be the wrong shade, or the lipliner kept going out of place. But, alas, you finally nailed it.

Your hair was styled half up with elegant curls and braids. In between some braids were little bits of baby’s breath flowers. Most likely, you were going to have a hard time taking those out but they looked cute and it was too late to take them out.

Your dress was right above your knee and flowed comfortably so you wouldn't have a hard time walking. It was a neutral taupe color and had a V-line that ended just above cleavage and hugged the curve of your waist. You paired it with simple black heels and a small, white handbag.

“He’s here,” MJ informed you.

“Okay,” you took a deep breath, “what do you think?” You spun around and held your arms out. “You look really pretty. Now go get ‘em. I’ll watch it on the live stream.” She gave you a lazy thumbs up and resumed her work.

Outside was Peter in an all-black apparel. His dress shirt had only one button undone, and he had a loose blazer that accentuated the dip of his shoulders. He stood against the limo with his hands at his sides. God, he’s gonna be the death of me.

When he caught sight of you, he had a flirtatious smirk on his lips and held out for your hand. “Peter, where’d this limo come from?”

“Mr. Stark set it up for me,” he stated like it was no big deal. Must be nice being his favorite. He held the door for you to climb in and closed the door behind him. “We’re ready, Happy,” he told the driver. Happy rolled his eyes, closed the window and drove off.

The convention was off to a great start; Tony Stark came in with his suit as he always loved to do and started introductions before everyone else scattered around to look at the projects of the many departments in his company. Some groups of certain departments had large stages, some had small stands, like Peter’s.

There were still large crowds coming to see the smaller presentations, and everyone seemed to be fascinated with Peter's. You stood on the side as his team operated the machine and Peter spoke. He looked confident and it was mesmerizing to watch him.

After the night was over, all employee’s and some guests were brought back to headquarters for the after party. You walked around with Peter and had flutters in your heart every time he held the small of your back. The most exciting part of the night was meeting Tony Stark in person. He greeted Peter warmly, and then his eyes landed on you, “Peter, who’s this?”

“Oh, this is Y/N. She’s a friend of mine,” he gestured for you. You shook Tony’s hand and stood starstruck. “The one you don’t shut up about?” Pepper hit his shoulder and laughed nervously.

“Wait, I’ve heard about you. Buddy of mine works at Empire State and he showed me your paper, it was really good.” You were still shocked that he had even read it and here he was talking to you about it. You went back and forth talking about nano-technology.

On the way home, you and Peter talked and laughed about things you told him as you caught him up to what was happening on campus when he couldn't be there. It was a really fun night, and Peter was more noticeably relaxed now that the hard part was over. “Alright, home sweet home,” Happy announced through the window.

“Well, that’s me,” you smiled sadly, not wanting the night to end. You reached to open the door but Peter climbed out from his side. He walked around to open your door and just like he did earlier, held his hand out for you to grab and assist you out the limo. What was different this time was that he kept his hand in yours as he walked you to the door of the apartments. “I had a great time with you tonight,” Peter confessed.

“Me too,” your voice was soft and low for only him to hear. Peter’s eyes switched from looking into yours to your lips before he grabbed your face with both hands and kissed you. The kiss was needy, passionate, but had a certain gentleness to it. Once he felt you kiss him back with the same fervor, he deepened the kiss and brought one hand to pull your waist closer to him.

You pulled apart to regain your breath and looked to admire his swollen lips and he copied the same notion. He leaned in to give you a gentle kiss and pulled away, “Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Peter.” Your cheeks were flushed and your face was warm. You watched him as he left and ran inside. Upstairs in your apartment, you found MJ and Ned sitting on the couch with a bag of chips in each of their hands.

“Good night?” Ned asked. You just nodded and walked slowly to your room.

“We saw the whole thing, by the way,” MJ said nonchalantly. You looked back to glare at your best friends, Ned smiling innocently at you and MJ keeping her straight face.

You changed into your pajamas and laid on your bed on your back, looking up at the ceiling. You couldn't wait to go back to work on Monday.

—

requests open!

#peter parker #peter parker imagine #requested #requests open #peter parker au #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #marvel imagine #avengers imagine #spider man imagine #spider man x reader #spider man x y/n #spider man x you #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #spider man fluff #spider man smut

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writing-in-april · 4 years ago

Text

Postmarked In The Past

Spencer Reid x Female Single Mom Reader

Summary: After sixteen years of no contact Reader reconnects with Spencer because she has to reveal the secret she’s been keeping since she stopped sending letters to him.

A/N: Hey heyyy! This is my sixteenth fic (it’s actually was totally unintentional to choose the 16th for this fic even though the daughter is 16 in this fic lol 😂) for my 30 fics in 30 days for April!! This one is based off of this request and is part of my unlinked Spencer Reid & Letters series! Thanks for all the love and support lately- I was going to put out my plan for my 1500 follower celebration yesterday or today but if you saw my post I’ve been struggling so it’ll probably come on the 19th or the 20th. Submit an ask here- I love hearing from everyone 🥰Thanks for reading and hope y’all enjoy 🥰

Warnings: Reader keeps a huge secret she definitely shouldn’t have, Reader is a single mother-the daughter doesn’t have a specified name but she is specified to be 16, Reader is very defensive when her daughter finds the letters, mentions of a one night stand

Main Masterlist Word Count: 2.5k

Spencer had been a bright spot in my life, one that had been snuffed out all because of me. When I had found myself pregnant with his child, after I had visited him once, I bolted. For a long time I justified my actions, saying to myself that it was better that Spencer was unburdened while his career was just starting out. But, deep down I knew how wonderful Spencer would have been as a father, how he would have moved heaven and earth to make everything work. And, that guilt haunted me.

The memories I had of him were so far in between, every moment with him had been so fleeting at the end. I struggled to sometimes even remember how he looked as it had been sixteen years since I last laid eyes on him.

I had to strain my memory to remember the way his gelled hair curled around his ears and how sometimes I saw him let the curls free only around me. His eyes had been brown, I could remember that. But, pinpointing what shade they were when they glinted in the light or were drenched in the shadows was lost to me. I knew he had been tall and lanky, his hands reflecting that with how spindly they were. To remember how those fingers had felt on my skin, or how his lips had marked me, or how he would gently stroke my hair was too difficult. Whether it was because I couldn’t remember or that I didn’t want to, it was just too hard for me to want to try to strain my memory anymore.

The labor had been the most difficult thing I had gone through, no one had been there to hold my hand. And, I didn’t really want anybody else except Spencer holding it. I had gritted my teeth and accepted it, pushing through the physical and emotional pain, especially since the pain of losing Spencer had been entirely because of me. I had been given a beautiful baby daughter that day and it was then that I started to force myself to forget Spencer, she looked too much like him to be able to bear.

The only things that remained in my life that involved him were the letters I sent to him in the last year of our relationship while we were long distance and my daughter. The letters were able to be shoved in a box at the bottom of a closet, but my daughter confronted me with my actions everyday by existing. I loved my daughter very much, I just tried to avoid the topic of her father by concocting a lie and making myself forget all of Spencer’s features so I wouldn’t see them as much in her. My nightmare would be the two things converging to confront me with my guilt, I don’t think I could handle that.

—-

At the kitchen table I saw my daughter, holding a letter. Her holding a letter wasn’t at its core a bad thing of course, but I could tell by the slight yellowing of the paper that it was getting old. Immediately panic spread through me; there were no other old letters she’d be looking at besides mine, the ones I sent to Spencer.

“Those are private.” I snapped defensively, definitely too hostile to be reasonable. It was obvious by my tone of voice that I was hiding something.

“Private?!” She yelled, giving away that she had already read at least a few of them. I clenched my eyes shut to prepare for her question, “Are these from my father?! Who you said was a one night stand?!” I vividly remember explaining the lie I had concocted for her, her being confused why I would only be with her father once. It was a hard subject to dance around, a difficult lie for me and her to swallow. But, the alternative was too painful for me to be honest with her, or honest with Spencer. And, I knew it made me selfish, at the time it had been so Spencer wouldn’t stop his blossoming career. With time I realized that I really had done it because I had been scared. The guilt had started to sting worse when I realized that.

I had been caught, there was no weaseling out of this. I hanged my head in defeat, finally admitting to the large lie I had even roped the rest of my family in, “Yes.”

If she had been a dragon she’d be breathing fire on me while she spoke, “And why would you keep this from me! Did he do something bad or something?! Is that why you didn’t tell me?!”

“No-I-“ I stammered a few times until I found the words, “I- I did it because I didn’t want to hold him back… We were so young, and I knew he’d quit his new job across the country to come back to me.” Keeping the details still vague was my only armor right now. I kept to myself how those letters were the way we communicated for months when he started in the academy. We were only able to meet up once a month, and one month I unexpectedly fell pregnant. I never sent another letter or came to visit him again once I found out.

She clenched her jaw at me, looking back down at the scores of letters that we had written, and I had hidden. Her next question now made me clench my jaw, “C-can I see him? Or call him? Or send him a letter?” If you don’t know how to contact him anymore I’m sure we can-“

I was nervous as to where this was going. There was no way I could contact Spencer again after all these years, the guilt already ate at me everyday. Seeing and remembering his face would only make it worse. Fear was fueling me and I cut her off because of it, “No- I- I don’t think it’s a good idea...I just need more time- until I’m ready.” I started to shrink away from her, my authority slipping through my fingers as I became more and more vulnerable.

“You’ve waited sixteen years, you’ll never be ready.” The spite in her voice was stinging, she wasn’t completely wrong in her statement.. And when I didn’t answer she then stormed away, slamming the door to her room.

——

Our relationship in the few weeks following was strained at best, estranged at worse. She barely spoke to me since then, the biggest conversation we had was about what was for dinner- and that had been about two sentences long.

I was slowly coming around to the idea of perhaps finding a way for her and Spencer to reconnect. The guilt that I had been so afraid of becoming worse if I confronted it head on, only grew worse by avoiding it. I was actually going to talk to her after I got home from work, until I realized what she did.

She left her own letter on the table titled Dear Mom, detailing where she was going without giving any specifics. There was one part that gave her reasoning for writing her plan down, she didn’t want me to have a heart attack even if she was mad at me. Plus there were a few sentences about how she had used her own money that she had been saving up, which was supposed to be for college only serving to make you even more frustrated. At the bottom she wrote- I’m going to find my Dad, please don’t follow me or call the police.

I scoffed to myself, wondering if she expected her warning to not to follow her to be followed. Of course I was going to follow her, there was no way I was going to just let her go off on her own like that.

It wouldn’t be too hard to find her. Spencer may have changed apartments since then, but one quick google search of news articles he was mentioned in showed me that he still worked at the BAU in Quantico. It was probably a safe bet that my daughter did the same thing and was planning on visiting him at his office.

The plane ride there had been tumultuous, not in the sense that there was any chaotic occurrence or severe turbulence on the plan, more like in my mind. My hands shook, my foot tapped, and my mind raced while I took the long flight from Las Vegas all the way to Quantico. My mind went round in circles whether or not I viewed Spencer meeting my daughter- our daughter as a good thing. It was difficult to accept that even though they’d both most likely be mad at me, they deserved to meet. Especially since I knew how good of a father Spencer could potentially be. Once I had landed I didn’t stop, getting a cab straight from the airport to where the BAU offices were located.

The building looked daunting in front of me. It wasn’t a skyscraper by any means, but the task that I was here to do was so big it felt like one as I stared at it while trying to work up the courage to go in. The guilt however, was too hard to ignore.

My mind was on autopilot as I told the secretary at one of the front desks. It was too stressful to focus on worrying, so exhausted from the emotional roller coaster I was riding. An agent had assured me that she was safe which made some of the stress melt from my shoulders luckily.

“Here she is.” The agent gestured to the office, empty of any other person except my daughter. I felt even more relieved now that I saw her with my own eyes.

When I entered she waited a second before speaking timidly with disappointment, “He’s not here, he's on a case.” Her demeanor had deflated almost immediately as she saw me escorted up.

“Who told you that?” My arms crossed around my chest, nervous and furious all at once. I didn’t need to tell my daughter how in trouble she was, by the pout on her face she knew she’d be getting grounded for a long time even if I did let her talk to him.

“This nice lady named Garcia, she works with him. But, she did tell me I had to wait for you until she called him” For the first time since I had read her letter to me I cracked a smile. When we had still been communicating, Spencer often wrote and spoke about his teammates. Besides a fleeting photo of the team shown to me by him while I had been over here visiting, all my perceptions of the team and how they might look were all based on my imagination.

Despite that, when a vibrantly dressed woman clicked her heels into the room, I knew it was her. Spencer had perfectly described her, shining bright compared to the dull colors of the bureau’s office.

“So your Spencer’s baby mama.” Yep, she was definitely as blunt and beautiful as Spencer had described. I blanched at her comment, though I didn’t deny it, which was all she needed to know to confirm.

“Can you give me his number?” I skittered past the question, not wanting to confirm it out loud.

She beamed brightly at me, already starting to punch in the numbers with the phone on the desk in front of me. “You can call him now if you want on this phone, they just stopped working for the day.”

When she handed me the phone, it had already started ringing. I couldn’t help but panic, almost refusing the phone until my daughter nudged me forward to grab it. My finger trembled severely as I wrapped my hands around the phone, but I still managed to hold on to bring it up to my ear just as someone picked up the phone.

“Hello?” It was him, he sounded so similar to the boy you knew, that boy was a man now. He sounded more haggard compared to sixteen years ago; I wondered what all had happened since then.

“Hey- Spencer it’s me.” By the hitch in his voice that came through the speaker, he knew who it was.

At first I heard nothing from him, only some rustled feedback in the speaker. My shoulders were practically at my ears now afraid he might hang up. He did eventually stumble out a greeting, “H-hi? Why are you calling me after all these years- aaand on a phone at my work?”

“I’ve got to be honest with you,” I cryptically answered with an evident shake in my voice. I was biting my nails now, not caring if I chipped the polish on them. My daughter grabbed my hand to comfort me even though she was probably still furious at me which helped coax out my next statement, “cause I haven’t told you why I stopped talking to you…” I breathed in deeply once before I finally admitted the secret I had held for so many years, “Spencer, you have a daughter, she just turned sixteen.”

Dead silence was all I got, that was until I heard a choked out sob from him, “Why?”

He didn’t need to elaborate any further, it was quite clear what he was asking. Again another meek shaky reply came from me, “There were a lot of reasons- the main one was I didn’t want to hold you back.”

My daughter was now crying as was I, I hadn’t given her my reasoning until now. Maybe one day I’d give Spencer all the reasons why I had hidden it from him for so many years even though it was painful. I had held a lot of guilt about not ever contacting him again or even sending another letter. Spencer deserved to know everything, especially about his daughter who was the spitting image of him in almost every way.

“Can I talk to her?” I agreed, which seemed to surprise my daughter. I think she thought I’d be furious enough with her to not let her speak to him. She would still be getting many privileges taken away from her, just not this one as it was my fault she never knew her father in the first place. My fingers shook even more as I moved to click the speaker button so he could hear her speak.

“Hi- dad.” They spoke for a while, while I took the back seat, barely interjecting. They both deserved every ounce of father and daughter time that I had deprived them from throughout the years. My chest did feel lighter now that I had told him, now that my daughter was getting the chance to know him. Hearing them laugh and giggle with each other almost immediately only cemented how much she was her father’s daughter.

When the phone was handed back to me, after seemingly hours of talking (Garcia had even popped in a few times to get me more coffee) Spencer asked,“Can you stay in Quantico till I get back?”

I smiled, happy that I’d finally be able to see and remember his face again after all this time, “We’ll be here waiting, it’s time you meet your daughter in person.”

Ask Me Anything

—

Tag lists (fill out this form to join): If your url has a strike through it means tumblr won’t let me tag you- check in your settings if you allow yourself to be searchable

All works: @shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg @boxofsparklingmuses @multixfandomwriter @takeyourleap-of-faith

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99 @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat @anaagraceeberr @ashcakes1918 @reid-me-a-story @cosmic-psychickitty

Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes @onlyhereforthefanfics @jareauswifey @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat

Letters Series: (Group of Unlinked fluff fics about Spencer and letters): @whoreforthebau @sierraraeck @90spumkin

#spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler fluff #mgg #mgg x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #30 fics in 30 days

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jungtified · 4 years ago

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convenience store | j.j.h.

𝐏��𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: college student! Jaehyun x college student! Reader

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: fluff & a tiny dot of angst <3

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1.5k

𝐀/𝐍: honestly, if anyone reads this, I don’t actually know what was going in my mind when i decided to write this lol. I don’t even like this but I ain’t wasting my time and effort so... if you like this enjoy <3??? and if you don’t then high-five! bitch same. + if there are any mistakes, let me know! I’m kinda blind sometimes. last but not least, any feedbacks would be greatly appreciated :) enjoy!

your phone had been ringing continuously for the past 5 minutes. you cursed silently and rubbed your eyes, turning to your side table where your phone laid before picking it up finally.

“hey beautiful, let’s go get some ramen,” Jaehyun said playfully. you groaned after his words. “what’s wrong with you, it’s literally 3 a.m., I’m trying to get some sleep!” you replied with a tired, raspy voice.

“damn, you sound sexy. come on, I’ll be at your door in 5.” he joked and hanged up before you could even say something. ‘this asshole, is he even living in the correct time zone? he called me beautiful and sexy though…’ you thought and whilst annoyed at him, you blushed.

Jaehyun is the one guy favoured by all. you didn't think you'd be friends with him one day, let alone pay attention to you. but after he sat next to you in class, he found himself beside you more often and becoming best friends in no time. you were very much surprised to be a quiet person like you are usually, that he would hang out with you. even the campus gossiped about you both for a while after you unexpectedly hanged out with him.

with the vibe Jaehyun had around him, you instantly hated him the first time you met each other. but it all changed after he managed to treat you to coffee, ending up spending hours there just talking about life. you found out that he isn’t what he’s always like, cold and a dry texter type of guy. actually kind and friendly, he also likes getting you to be adventurous, trying many new things you wouldn’t usually go for.

the amount of time you had spent around him was ridiculous, it’s like you can’t live without him. of course, you started developing feelings for him over time. you can’t remember when exactly, but you were clear of it after he hung out a couple times with a girl named Wendy. you couldn’t understand why you were jealous of them at first, but your knowledge of how protagonists fall in love in k-dramas and fiction stories made you realise you were crushing on him.

finally, out of your tiny daydream, you got out of your bed to check yourself. you looked exactly to what you thought you would look like, a whole wreck. unlike you, when some people wake up, they actually look good, like Jaehyun. what in the world was god thinking while he was making you and Jaehyun? did he miss an ingredient or something?

a knock was heard when you were combing your hair. immediately knowing who it was, you shouted, “come in!”. Jaehyun walked in and was scared by your glaring looks at him. “okay, I’m sorry for calling you so late at night. let’s go!” he said.

“but I have to look decent!” you replied.

“ma’am you look perfectly fine to me, let’s get going right now!” he said while dragging you away while snatching the comb off your hands.

sitting outside the 24/7 convenience store, Jaehyun told you to wait for him. you looked up to the sky, stars shining bright. it’s beautiful but, it constantly reminds you of how Jaehyun’s like the stars. so fucking gorgeous, people admiring him just like how people admire stars. yet you’re just an ordinary girl, working hard in school and getting good grades to graduate university just to get a good job in life without having fun in your school years. that was your plan until he came along.

you couldn’t believe that someone like him found you entertaining. he told you once that you were fun to be with. he told you that you’re a great person. he told you that he loves how you treat people equally, even him. those words made your heart flutter. sometimes you just want to shout your feelings out for him, you want to be with him forever. he makes you feel happy and worth. all the times he made you feel better after a bad mood, or whenever you get your period, he never fails to surprise you. your favourite foods? his appearance? simply anything he does just makes you smile.

the thing is you didn’t have the courage. you tried multiple times to hint that you like him, but it didn’t work. getting scared that one day you’d miss the chance of being with him, you had to build tons and tons of courage. obviously, the number one reason for not telling him about your feelings was quite obvious you were scared that he won’t be able to reciprocate your feelings and end up ruining the friendship the both of you have built up over the past year.

but today, right now, you felt like it was now or never. you are ready to risk your friendship for love. was it the energetic feeling of being awake at 3 a.m.? or just the sight of how you saw Wendy was all over Jaehyun last week made you bold? you couldn’t take it anymore; you were sick of it. ‘okay, don’t be nervous, don’t back down you scaredy-cat. when he comes out you must tell him.’ you assured, telling yourself that it’ll be okay.

the moment Jaehyun pushed the door of the convenience store open, you stood up and gathered your courage to speak out your feelings to him. “Jaehyun! I-I have something to tell you…” you stuttered for a moment, nervous of what was to come. “okay… you seem a little nervous,” he answered as he sets down the ramen and snacks he was carrying.

“you know, w-we have been f-friends for quite some time n-now right, Jaehyun?” you said, eyes starting to water. you felt so overwhelmed by your feelings for him, along with the turning feeling inside you.

“Y/N, calm down, are you okay? you’re making me nervous.”

“no-no, I’m fine, just listen to me yeah,” you assured him. “uhm, I’m really thankful for all the times you’ve spent with me. I’m so happy that you became my best friend and whatever happens, you’re still my friend, right?” you asked with a cracked voice, twisting one of your rings around your finger.

“you… did something wrong? or you don’t want to hang out with me anymore?” he questioned nervously speaking fast and hands turning clammy. he liked your company, a lot. which explains why he was really scared that you would leave him one day.

“no Jaehyun, listen to me. I-I uh, I really like you. like, like-like you, and I can’t stand the sight of you and Wendy together anymore. I can’t help but feel so pissed off and jealous all the time even if I don’t show it. I’m sorry for that and you probably don’t like me back. I think just ruined our friendship; I hope we still can be friends after this.” you spilled, fingers fidgeting and tears running down your face.

you looked at him for a response. no matter what it’s gonna be, you told yourself you’ll accept it even if it’s a rejection. but all he did was to stare at you with such intense eyes. it wasn’t sadness, lust, or hatred. you couldn’t make out the emotions he’s having, therefore you decided to leave since you ruined the atmosphere.

“I-I should just go…”

you stood up to walk back to your apartment, feeling so overwhelmed from your confession. you felt so sad but so good that finally, you spilled your feelings out. the stuffiness was gone, but the thought that you will never be the same around Jaehyun again made you feel worse.

turning to the direction of your apartment, you felt Jaehyun grabbing your arm. “what now?” you coldly reply turning around to shake his grip off you. somehow, he managed to hug you. “Y/N. I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a long time now. the reason why I’m asking you out for ramen right now was to tell you, I have liked you since the first time we’ve met.” he spoke calmly, holding you tight. as a response to his words, you hugged him back. you never thought that he would like you back, especially the way he treated you usually.

however, inside his mind was full of regrets, regretting that you were the one to confess first and not him. it should be jealousy, but he regretted that he made you wait too long. also, the fact that you thought he and Wendy were in flirting terms made his heart break a little.

“but I thought you liked Wendy,” you questioned, breaking his train of thought.

“since when? she’s irritating, I only saw her as a friend,” he assured you.

the moment he told you that, you began to cry harder. of all the times you saw them together and telling yourself that he doesn’t like you, were purely just some imagination that you perceived yourself to believe. he pulled away, hands now holding your waist. attempting to wipe your tears away, you ended up crying more out of joy. you couldn’t believe it.

“are you sure you like me?” you ask as a confirmation.

“yes Y/N. I’m in love with you.”

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chocojjk · 5 years ago

Text

For A Moment

summary: If you knew from the start that there is no forever, will you still choose to love?

words: 8.6k

a/n: Hello friends, long time no see :( ... This is long overdue and I’m not even gonna make up any excuses because honestly I just had no time and no motivation to find time. However, with the recent events, I was finally able to finish this au and I am excited for you guys to read it!

I tried to edit it as much as possible but my head started hurting lol

Also, this was inspired by the movie Hello, Love, Goodbye

one.

You were a busy person. Your life a constant battle between yourself and your phone alarm, ordering you of your next tasks at hand. In your world, time is important. Time is gold. But when you met him, for a moment, time just stopped.

“Hi,” he says, giving you a sweet smile.

“Welcome to the Timebeam, what can I get you?” you reply, your customer service voice barely there, seeming as this time of the night everyone is either too drunk to notice or too happy to even care. No one comes here for a good conversation anyway, everyones only here for 3 things: get drunk, have fun, and get laid.

Timebeam was a very popular bar in your city that you so happened to work in. Don’t get me wrong, you could care less about the alcohol that surrounds you but the job pays well and the tip is insanely crazy - people tend to be rash when they’re drunk and well, you needed the money.

“Well, I- uhm, was hoping I could get your number,” he replies, the smile still on his face.

“No,” you shot back as quickly as his question left his mouth.

“Why not?” he asked, confusion evidently laced in his voice. You can tell that the boy in front of you wasn’t used to someone rejecting him. Typical. But if he wanted someone so bad, then he shouldn't be asking the most sober person in the room.

“What would you need my number for?” you retorted.

“I wanted to get to know you better, maybe take you out on a date,” he replied, this time a smirk playing on his lips. He knew you had to be the slightest bit interested if you were still talking to him. He was sure you were going to give in eventually. Besides, like a typical boy, he enjoyed a challenge.

“I'm a very busy person “Mr.-” “Bang, Bang Chan,” he chimed in, reaching his hand out to shake yours in which you gladly accepted. I mean come on, you are still clocked in and the number one rule in customer service is to always keep your customers satisfied.

“Nice to meet you sir, like I said, I'm a very busy person, I don't have time to get to know people, let alone go on dates with them. So I suggest you order something or find a different conquest for the night because all you're getting from me is a glass of alcohol of your choice,” you declared, finishing it off with a small smile.

He was about to reply to you when suddenly a man came slurring in, pushing him out of the way.

“8 sh-shots of uh.. your b-best vodka,”

“Yes sir, which table are you in?”

“Table number…uh...9 i think, i don't know just look for me,”

“Alright sir, coming right up,” you said as you busied yourself behind the counter preparing the drinks, completely forgetting about the boy that had asked for your number. You never did find any of those interesting, always telling yourself that they're too drunk to even remember their actions and 99.9% of the time, you were right.

He observed the way you treated the customers, finding it absolutely cute how you kept a smile on your face, your voice keeping that high, cheery customer service voice. However, your eyes seem to tell a different story. A one that he wanted to know. But tonight wasn’t the night and so he made his way back to his friends.

“So did you get her number?” Minho asked, a smirk on his lips

“Nope,” he replies honestly, a huge smile on his face.

“So why are you smiling?” Jisung asked, clearly confused as to why his best friend is plastering a huge smile on his face when he has just gotten rejected.

“Wow, for the first time in history, someone dared to reject our brother??! I can't believe it!,” Changbin added, a little too loudly if one may ask. Clearly the boy was way too gone and so was the rest of them as they all bursted out in laughter, even Chan himself chuckled as he swigged the glass of beer, his eyes never leaving your figure.

Their loud ruckus, however, caused you to turn in the group's direction, locking eyes with the man himself, as he nods his drink towards you, taking a sip, and giving you the same small smile that he has been giving you all night.

two.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

“Another day, another dollar,” as spongebob would say.

You get up for the day, shutting off the little death machine that kills you a little bit inside every time it opens its mouth. You honestly should get used to that loud, damn thing as it screams at you 5 times a day, each ring signaling your next task at hand.

Being a part time college student and also working two jobs isn't as easy as people make it seem to be. On top of that, your family relies on you for financial support. Their business crashing has laid a huge weight on top of your shoulders. Before you only used to worry about paying for your education but now there’s just piles and piles of loans being thrown at you.

You really didn't have any other time to sneak in a date here or there - maybe after your shift in the bar but even that doesn’t end until 1 in the morning and by that time you're way too exhausted to do anything.

Besides, with your family relying on you, it's not like you can just drop everything. At least not until for the next 5 months, when you will finally be relocated to Canada to start your on the job training, working as a [insert your dream job.] The job that you actually desired. The job that you’ve been working so hard for and the job that pays so well that it will finally get your family out of the debt you owe. When that time comes you will finally be able to leave this hellhole of a place that you’ve been calling your home for the past 2 years.

In 5 months, you’ll finally live the way you want. The way you dreamed.

You just gotta get through another day until that day finally comes.

I’m sure you don't want to keep hearing about how much work you have to get done so let's fast forward, shall we?

“Hi,” he says, giving you a sweet smile.

“It’s you again,” you deadpanned, not having any time for the games he came here to play.

At this he let out a small laugh before cheerfully replying with, “what happened to ‘Welcome to Timebeam, what can I get you?’” mocking your voice from the night before, clearly teasing you.

With a sigh, you rolled your eyes before letting out a, “Welcome to Timebeam, what can I get you?” as you plastered the fakest smile you could ever give. He clearly found this amusing as his laughter rang loudly around the room, you swear it was even louder than the music that everyone was dancing to. Unexpectedly, you found yourself laughing along with him, causing him to stop and stare at you, a smile playing on his lips.

“Have a drink with me?” he pleaded

“Can’t drink on the job,” you replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Technically...you're not on the job anymore… it's 1 pm,” he points out, flashing you a smile

“And how would YOU know that?” you questioned, one eyebrow going up, hands crossed against your chest.

“Believe it or not i'm a very observant person, I noticed how you left right when the clock struck 1 last night,” he states proudly

“Oh so you're stalking me,” you challenged him, this time a smirk making its way onto your face making him laugh.

“Have a drink with me.” he ordered, obviously not asking anymore.

“Will you finally leave me alone if I do?”

And maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the way that you’ve been missing the feeling of another body against yours but the next thing you know you find yourself walking into a motel room, your hands tangled in his hair, the taste of the bitter whiskey that you guys drowned evident on his plumped lips that were working its way against yours, pieces of clothing disappearing all over the room.

As things continue to get heated, you start tracing kisses from his neck, making your way down. However, in the midst of it all, before you got too lost in the feeling that he was giving you, you broke down. Chan stares at the wall ahead, the romantic mood in the air quickly disappearing as soon as he hears your cries. Honestly, he has no idea what to do. This was definitely one of the most awkward hookups he has ever encountered. Was he supposed to hug you? comfort you? Because let's be real here, he definitely did not come for that. As you regain your composure, you utter a soft, “sorry,” before putting your shirt back on and running out of there ashamed, leaving Chan half naked and confused to the scene that unfolded before him.

After a couple of minutes of composing himself, he walks back out into the busy city of Seoul, not expecting to see you sitting on the bench outside of the building, looking out at the lake that surrounds it. For a second, the city seemed to stop, the sound of the bustling cars and busy people all being drawn out as he takes a good look at you, your features being etched onto his mind.

What was it about you?

He can't seem to figure it out but he did know that you looked sad, and he never leaves a hook up without the girl feeling satisfied. So maybe it wasn't in the way he intended, but he will make you feel good.

three.

“So tell me, did I smell THAT bad that it led you to cry?” he jokes, trying to get you to laugh yet all he received was a stoic stare.

You felt him take a seat beside you, the cold air slightly getting warmer. “You know the drill right? None of the things that happened back there was real. It was just a spur of the moment thing and we’ll both go back to living our lives th-”

“Wait, wait, wait, what exactly happened back there?” he says his eyebrows raised, a cheeky smile on his lips

“I'm just saying that none of those feelings were real.”

“Trust me, I didn't have feelings there…but you..you seemed to have a lot,” he says teasingly, obviously hinting at the way you just cried and ran. You ignored it though, not really in the mood to talk about the scene that just took place as you were embarrassed enough and so you put on your strong front like you always do.

“Good. Because I’m telling you now that I’m not interested. And whatever happened will never happen again. So you can leave me alone now and move on to your next girl.”

“W-ow,” he says, holding a hand to his heart before letting out a laugh. “So this is how it feels…” he pondered out loud.

You give him a look, seeming to say, ‘how does what feel?’

“You see, I’ve just never been on this side before. I’m usually the one who pushes the girls away, the one who breaks it off. You know...this actually hurts a bit.” he states.

‘Psh of course he was,’ you thought to yourself. The boy's cocky behavior was evident from the start so of course his pride would hurt a bit now that he has been rejected but you remained from making any comments. You let the silence wash over the two of you, the only sound coming were from the small waves the lake was creating. For some reason, him just sitting next to you made you feel a little less lonely and so you basked in this moment of peace before it ended.

“You know...if you want...you can talk to me about it,” he says, finally breaking off the silence.

“What makes you think I would talk about my feelings to a complete stranger?” you shot back, really not understanding what the boy had in mind.

“Well you see, that's the beauty of it,” he says like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sensing that you still weren't convinced, he continued, “i’m a complete stranger, right?”

“Right.” you deadpanly replied

“Which means at the end of the day, my thoughts and my opinions don't matter to you... which also means you can open up to me because, well...one, i wont judge and two, even if i did, why would you even care what i think?... since i'm a stranger and all,” he explains, urging you to start sharing.

You stare at him for a bit, thinking to yourself if it was a smart idea to go along with what the boy has said.

“...or you can just keep staring at me like that, i don't mind it at all,” he says with a cheeky smile on his face as he turns to you. However you didn't look away, instead you examined his face even more, noticing the dimples that were coming out to play and the way that his eyes seem to smile along with his lips. He was definitely the type of man you’d fall for and if things weren’t how they were now, then maybe you would allow yourself to fall. Finally, straying your eyes off of him, you look back into the ocean.

“I’m just so tired..i-i want to have control. For once in my life, I want to live my life for myself and not for anyone else,” you mumbled.

He had a point. He is no one to you, just a stranger - a stranger that you would never have to talk to again. So why should you care how you look, why should you care enough to act strong?

And so you exploded, “I'm tired of always acting strong for everyone. I’m tired of pretending I’m fine with what's happening in my life. I’m tired of being compared to the people around me, reminding me that I’m not even nowhere close to where I want to be...i just..i just want to be happy,” all the feelings that you’ve kept to yourself finally tumbling out. Your tears flowing freely down your cheeks but you could care less. It felt good to finally say those words out loud. It might seem silly but just saying it out loud felt like a huge weight was taken off your shoulders.

He listens to your rant, wondering to himself how this broken girl in front of him still seems to be the most beautiful one he’s seen. The way your tears started falling, making your eyes glassy and your nose starting to get that hint of the color red… it was all beautiful to him. But the most beautiful of all were your words and the way you spoke. Out of all the strangers out there, he was the one lucky enough to be given the chance to meet you. The real you. No fake smiles, no cheery voice, just the painful words that finally matched the eyes he first met with.

After your long awaited confessions, he let the silence take over for a second before saying, “I want to have my own music studio,” he says, looking out at the ocean. “I want people to look at me and take me seriously…I want to show my dad how successful I can be without his help and his money,” he continues.

You realize now that opening up to him was one of the best things you could do. Because just like what he said, he didn’t judge you, hell, he didn’t even state his opinion. He just let you say what you were feeling...nothing more, nothing less.

He then stood up, standing on the ledge that separates him and the lake, raising his arms up like he was about to fly, he yelled out a loud, “I want to be happy!!!” and you swear the whole entire city could hear him but you could not have cared any less as your feet started making their way towards him, joining him on the ledge, as both of you started yelling out your wishes.

“Let’s work towards our dreams, yeah?” he says, turning to look at you, his eyes beady yet beautiful. It was like looking at the skies filled with twinkling stars, and his smile - wide and evident and all you could do was nod and mirror his expression.

four.

After some time, you guys finally got tired of screaming into the cold air. Sitting side by side on the ledge, you start a new conversation with him. After all, you guys are just strangers, it wouldn’t hurt you to know a little more about the guy in front of you.

“Have you ever been in love, Chan?” you ask, catching him off guard. He wasn’t expecting you to ask him any questions, hell, he wasn’t even expecting you to say goodbye. He thought you were just gonna get up, leave, and continue your life without acknowledging the scene that just happened.

“Why do you ask?” he replies, curious as to why you were suddenly interested in him.

“You just don’t seem like the type,” you answered honestly. Chan scoffs at this and you suddenly feel bad for asking but before you could apologize, he replied, “of course i’ve been in love, i am still human after all”

“What happened?” you ask. In a way, you're not quite sure why you kept asking him questions you're not that interested in knowing the answers to. All you know is that you don't want this night to end quite yet.

“I told her I loved her,” he expressed, his eyes immediately finding interest in his jeans as his fingers started to fiddle with the watch that seemed to be made specifically for his wrist.

“and then what happened?” you wondered what could possibly happen to turn Chan into the playboy that he seemed to be.

“Thats what happened,” he countered “I told her i loved her and she got scared and left, told me that she wasn’t expecting that to happen…i-i didn't know that that's how easy it was to scare a girl away, but now I do,” he says snickering.

“It's my party trick now, if i know i'm not interested, all i have to say is ‘i love you’,” he concluded, finishing his rambling.

“I love you.” you replied quickly, hoping that this will finally make him walk away and end this night because you couldn't find the courage to do so.

Upon hearing your words, he lets out a small giggle, “I’m sorry but…I don’t love you. I'm staying right here.”

five.

It’s been two weeks since that night and you haven’t seen the stranger that made such an impact on you. In the two weeks that have gone, you sometimes find yourself walking home through the path that passes the bench, hoping to even get the smallest glance of him. However, much to your dismay, you were always greeted with an empty bench, cold air nipping at your skin and the boy nowhere to be seen.

His friends were here though. Seated at their usual table, you go up to them as soon as you clock out, “Hi, I was wondering if you guys have seen Chan around?”

They all snicker at the sound of his name stumbling out of your lips and you immediately regret even asking in the first place until a voice coming from behind you breaks your thoughts, “hey stranger,” he says, his soft honey voice filling your ears and calming you down, the same way they did two weeks ago. As you turn to face him, you notice the same dimpled smile he was wearing, something that you didn’t realize you've missed seeing until now. You utter out a small, “hi,” as you slowly walk towards him.

He notices that you were out of your work clothes, your jacket in hand, “you wanna get out of here?” he asks quietly, for only the two of you to hear. All you could do was let out a small nod as he took his hands in yours. Pulling the two of you out of the bar, he waves to his group of friends to signal that he was leaving as his friends' cheers slowly diminished with every step. Chan never told them what happened that night so they assumed that you were just back for a second round with Mr. Bang, as they like to call him when he’s out doing his thing.

You guys ended up at a ramen place a couple of blocks down the bar. This part of Seoul is always alive so it didn’t take long for the two of you to find a place to settle in.

“So… why were you looking for me?”

He asked the question that you hoped you didn’t have to answer because frankly, you don’t even know the answer either.

The reason why you opened up to him in the first place was because he was a stranger to you. You never expected to be here, at 1:30 in the morning, eating a bowl of noodles and ruining your schedule for the brown-eyed, curly-headed man seated in front of you. If you were to be completely honest with yourself at this moment, you would say it was worth it. Instead however, you inhaled the ramen in front of you, choosing not to answer the question he laid out.

Chan, on the other hand, couldn’t help but let out a small smile. He could feel how flustered you were with him catching you red handed, asking his friends about him. Though you chose to ignore his question, he couldn’t be happier that he was given another moment to be with you and so he ate his ramen in silence, only the sounds of the busy streets can be heard around the two of you.

“I realized I never got the chance to thank you,” you say as soon as the last bit of noodle disappeared into your mouth.

“Thank me for what?” he says, eyebrows raised.

“Well, two weeks ago, a boy went up to me at the bar expecting to score but instead had to listen to me talk about all my problems,” you say, smiling sheepishly. “I want to thank that boy for letting me express my thoughts and not judging me for a single one,” you continue, your eyes avoiding contact with his. You aren’t the type to be so upfront with your feelings, usually choosing to bottle it all up, so saying all these things out loud were quite hard for you.

“I think the boy would say you’re welcome and that if you ever need another night like that then all you need to do is exchange numbers with him so you can easily reach him whenever you want,” he says, his small smile coming out to play.

“Is that your way of asking me for my number?” you teased

“maybe,” he replies, letting out a small smirk as he hands you his phone.

After inputting your number into his phone, you looked up at him, “i love you,” you say jokingly.

Chan, quickly remembering what you are referring to, replied with a “sorry, i still don't love you,” and all you could do was let out a laugh.

He quickly joins you, your guys’ laughter mixing in with the sound of the busy streets and Chan swears that he’s never heard anything more beautiful.

six.

‘Where are you right now?’

A text on your phone read, coming from the one and only Bang Chan.

‘At home, why?’

‘I got you coffee :)’

Your heart stops a beat. Something that you find has been frequently happening ever since Chan stopped being a stranger. Ever since that night, you and Chan have been texting non-stop. However, you’re very much aware that this could never develop into something more than it is now as the days you had left in this city were starting to diminish and Chan knew that as well. You told him about it through text one night. Explaining to him that once you’re done with school, you would be making your way to Canada to finally start the life that you’ve been dreaming of.

At first, Chan was angry at the world for letting him meet you just to take you away a couple months after. However, he never let it be known to you as he acted nonchalant, like the information you spread out to him didn’t just hurt him. He contemplated whether or not he should allow himself to get more attached, but after a day of not talking to you he realized that he already was. Which brings us to now with Chan standing outside of your apartment, choosing to sacrifice his whole heart out on the line just so he can still be with you. After all, you guys don't have forever.

Quickly glancing out your apartment window, there he was, a black beanie on his head paired with his regular black hoodie and jeans, your cup of coffee sitting right in between his hands, the only thing that's providing him any source of warmth in the cold air. You made your way out of your room as quickly as possible so that you could finally let him in.

“Thank you so much, you’re a lifesaver,” you say as you take a sip from the cup of coffee that he handed to you.

“Still stressed about the big test, huh?” he commented, taking a seat on your bed that was right next to your study table.

“Yeah, I just can't seem to understand this topic,” you replied, letting out a frustrated sigh, “like, I’ve read it over and over again and it's just so… so complicated!... my professor never went over this in class so i don't understand why it's even on the test to begin with,” you cursed, a frown making its way upon your face.

“Let me take a look at it,” Chan extends his hands out, reaching for your notebook as you give him a questioning look.

“Ok y/n, im smarter than I look,” he scoffs as you put your hands up in defense, “i didn't say anything!”

“You didn’t have to, your face says it all,” he bickered as you uttered out a soft sorry and slumped down on your chair, choosing to focus on the coffee cup instead while Chan read your notes.

“Oh this is easy! I could teach you!” he exclaimed as your eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

“Are you serious!? Chan please tell me you're not joking, you're literally my last hope!” you say dramatically, quickly rushing to his side so that he can finally start explaining to you the topic that you've been trying to make sense of for the past 3 hours.

1 hr later

“... and that’s how you do it,” he declared.

“holy shit, you’re amazing,” you say excitedly, “i cannot believe i've spent so much time on this for it to be that simple! ugh! I love you!,” you continue, the buzz from the coffee and the happiness from finally understanding something that has left you puzzled for hours letting you feel like you're on cloud nine.

Too caught up in your feelings of accomplishment, you didn’t even notice the way Chan didn't retort with his famous, “i don't love you,” line but instead was looking at you like you held all the stars in the world in your fingertips.

seven.

“You’re texting y/n again huh?” Felix chimes in as he walks into the apartment that he shared with Chan and Minho.

“How’d you know?” Chan asked, a puzzled expression on his face.

“You’re literally grinning like a child on christmas day,” Minho teases, the smirk on his lips getting wider with every second.

“Man, you’re whipped,” Felix jokes as he and Minho erupted into a series of laughter, never expecting this day to come especially with the reputation that Chan had.

“But bro, let me remind you that y/n is leaving soon,” Minho points out, his responsible side kicking in. They’re very much aware of the situation at hand and he knows that once you leave then they’ll be the ones to have to pick up the pieces. That was something that none of the boys were looking forward to. They’ve all seen Chan at his worst, all experiencing the day Chan fell in love for the first time and was left broken hearted, morphing into the playboy that he is, or was, until he met you. It felt like a repeat of history to them. As much as they wanted to like you they couldn’t allow themselves to get attached to you the way that Chan already has. However, they still supported the two of you and whatever the hell your guys’ relationship was. The both of you chose not to put any type of label on it as there would honestly be no use since you were eventually going to leave.

“What if...what if I can show her that she doesn’t need to move away to be successful?” Chan wondered. Actually he’s been thinking about it for a few days now.

“And how exactly are you gonna do that?” Felix questioned curiosity getting the best of him. As much as possible he wants to help his friend, who is practically like a brother to him. If there was any way to get you to stay then he would very much contribute to the plan.

On the other hand, Minho was more of a realist, “She’s been wanting to leave years before she even met you, you think a boy would change that decision for her?”

See, in this whole situation Felix and Minho were like the devil and angel on Chan’s shoulders. One was always a ray of light, allowing him to have hope while the other was always harsh and truthful, reminding him of reality. You can choose who’s playing the part.

“I just- maybe...maybe if i show her that she can have everything that she's been dreaming of here, then she’ll stay,” Chan continues, “I can make things easier for her like bringing her food when she needs it, i’ll help her find a better job so she doesn’t have to strain herself all the time, hell, if that’s not enough, I’ll even reach out to my dad if I have to.”

Chan and his father’s relationship was an iffy one. They used to be close until Chan decided that he would be pursuing music instead of the law career that his dad has been trying to implement on him ever since he was young. Obviously, it didn’t end well for the pair. His dad’s pride was crushed as he was always gloating about how his eldest son would be taking over the firm soon. Eventually the atmosphere in the house became so thick that Chan decided to move out, only meeting up with them during the holidays.

But for you, he’s willing to move past that. He was willing to give up his dignity if it meant a forever with you was possible. He felt like he finally found the missing piece in his life and the thought of having to let it go without even putting up a fight just doesn’t sit right with him. Chan was desperate and as soon as the other boys heard his proposition, they immediately knew how important you actually were to him.

“I think it could work,” Felix exclaims, cracking a smile out of Chan however it was short lived as Minho followed shortly after, “but is that what she wants?”

eight.

2 months. That’s the remaining time he had with you. Chan felt like he was in the fourth stage of the Kubler-Ross grief cycle even though he hasn’t even lost you. From the day you met at the bar to now, the past 3 months of his life have been the most thrilling and heart racing moments he has ever had. Laughing with you, eating with you, just being with you is always the best part of his day.

Lately it’s been harder for the two of you to meet up though as Chan was busy with his music career. After multiple days of you ordering the DJ in Timebeam to play Chan’s music, a producer finally took interest in the music he has been making and gave him a chance to work with them.

Even though this meant taking up the time that you two had together, you couldn’t be prouder. After countless nights of deep talks with him, you knew that this was his dream. You supported him from a distance and listened to him talk about the experience every night, his voice becoming your daily lullaby. For Chan, it was a sign from the universe. Something that was telling him that if he really lands this as his permanent job then he will be able to help you financially, meaning that you didn’t have to go.

You were staying in his apartment for the night as you missed the presence of the boy so you decided to just do all your studying there. What was that phrase? Killing two birds with one stone.

“Dinners ready,” he says, popping his head in calmly so as to not disrupt you. “Ok, i'll be there in a sec,” you acknowledged as you finish the last bit of your essay. Honestly, you thought that you were just going to end netflix and chilling with Chan so you pat yourself in the back, feeling proud that you actually accomplished the assignment that you had to do.

Eventually you take the seat in front of Chan, ready to dig into the spaghetti that he has prepared but before you could even transfer some to your plate, he stops you, “nu-uh wait,” he says, lightly smacking your hand away from the plate, leaving you with a pout. He laughs at you before placing a soft kiss upon your rosy lips, giving you a feeling that you just can’t seem to get over and then heading to the fridge to grab the bottle of wine that he was cooling. It was just you and Chan tonight, the other boys going out to Timebeam, as usual.

“What's up with the fancy wine?” you say teasingly, “are you trying to get into my pants because i'm pretty sure that already happened,” you conclude, emitting a laugh from the both of you.

“Well…I got the job and I wanted to celebrate a little,” he beamed, his smile widening with every second.

“oh my god?!! That's amazing!!” you cheered, immediately jumping up to give him the biggest hug your tiny frame could muster.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” he expressed as you kissed him all over, your heart bursting of happiness for the boy in front of you. He did it. He is finally going to be able to live out his dream.

“We should probably eat now before the spaghetti gets cold,” he says in chuckles as you kiss him once more on the lips before going back to your seats. The two of you talk about your days as you guys ate, really savoring this heartfelt moment.

“So I was thinking,” Chan hesitated, “what if you don’t move to Canada?”

And with that one small sentence, the light hearted air suddenly turned thick. Slowly placing your fork down, you stare at the black shirt Chan was wearing, trying to process the words that just came out of his mouth.

“wh-what?” you say, your voice faltering.

“I did it y/n… I got the job, i-i can help you and your family, i-”

“When did I say yes to that?” you ask sternly. The cheerful mood completely diminishing into thin air.

“Well, you don’t have to say yes, I’ll do it for you in a heartbeat-” the boy says, his heart completely filled with pure intentions but you were furious.

“You don’t get to decide things for me, Chan.”

“please, y/n,” he begged as he cautiously reached out for your hand however you removed it off the table as soon as you noticed, your eyes still refusing his gaze.

“y/n I love you, I did all this for us,” Chan continues, noticing that he is now speaking to the girl that he met that night. He was not going to let you shut all your emotions down. You, on the other hand, recognizes the effect that the boy had in you and you knew that once you stared at those brown eyes of his then you were done for - you’d give up everything and you could not be that weak. Not after everything you’ve gone through to get to where you are.

“If you love me then why are you making me choose?” you questioned, unsure of how to feel at the moment.

“y/n please.. if you love me then choosing wouldn’t be so hard!” he retaliated, the tears he has been desperately trying to hold back finally falling.

“I never said I did.” you gulped, regretting the words as soon as they left your mouth.

nine.

It’s been a week since that dreadful conversation yet nothing can get Chan to leave the couch. Sitting there dumbfoundedly, your words felt like a gunshot to his heart and he can’t believe he let himself fall in love again after swearing it off the first time. He needed a drink. Anything to stop the words that just seem to keep replaying in his head. Staggering over to the kitchen, he easily spots the last bottle of beer in the back of the fridge but before he could take a nice long swig, it was being taken away from him.

“Dude what the fuck?!”

“How long are you gonna do this for?” deadpanned Minho as Chan let out a frustrated groan, “Can’t you just leave me alone? You don’t understand how I feel Minho, you’ve never been in love!” he scoffed, yanking the bottle out of Minho's grip.

Minho didn’t let this get to him. Unlike Felix, Minho wasn’t afraid of Chan and had no problem with putting Chan back into his place, so he grabbed the bottle of beer and smashed it down the ground.

“Dude are you fucking serious right now?! That was the last one!” Chan yells frustratingly before pushing Minho away from his sight, a lot rougher than he would if he soberly knew what he was doing.

“Am I serious?? Am I fucking serious?!” Minho snaps, finally reaching his breaking point.

“It’s 10:30 in the morning Chan! You’ve been drinking all week! You haven’t showed up to any of your meetings and we’ve all been making excuses for you!! You already lost the girl are you gonna fucking lose your dream job too!” Minho fumed. He hated the fact that it has come to this but he hated seeing his best friend lose himself more.

So yeah, he’ll play the villain in Chan’s eyes for a while but that's only because he truly cares for him.

“You really thought she was just gonna drop everything for you, huh,” he scoffs, “Wake up call Chan! you knew from the beginning she wasn't that type of girl so stop acting pathetic because we don’t feel bad for you.”

“You’ll move on. You’ve done it before. Just don’t take too long this time before you lose everything else,” he finishes before storming out of the apartment, the door slamming loudly as Chan finds himself back into what seemed to be his favorite place of the week - the couch.

“He’s right you know,” Felix says softly after hearing the commotion through his room. Picking up the pieces of glass that have shattered across the floor and cleaning up the mess that his older brothers have created, Chan sighs, a headache starting to form “Felix, I don’t need this from you right now too.”

“Hyung, i'm just saying...you did know the situation at hand before you even entered it,” Felix mumbled as carefully as possible.

“What do you think I should do?” Chan muttered, finally giving into the words that were being said.

“Honestly, I think you should talk to y/n” Felix admitted. With the mention of your name, Chan sits up, his attention solely focused on the younger boy in front of him, “you love her, right?” Felix questions.

“Yeah, but that's not the problem-”

“Hyung, let me talk first,” Felix sheepishly smiles, lowkey scared that Chan would burst again if he pushed his limits.

“S-sorry, yeah… go on,” Chan nodded, urging for him to speak.

“Well, how I see it, you took the risk of loving her even though you knew there was a timer that was going to go off as soon as these 5 months are over. You’ve already made it to the fourth month. What's one month more?” Felix reckoned.

“So you’re saying, I should go back to her?” Chan questioned, confused as to why Felix would suggest it when he thought that they wanted him to move on from her.

“Not go back to her but maybe fix it, she only has one month left, and you’ve created this out to be the perfect relationship… you don’t want to look back at this moment and think what could have happened in the last month,” Felix states, giving Chan a small smile before wiping off the spilled beer and making his way back into his room, leaving Chan to himself.

After a couple of minutes of just thinking to himself, Chan finally gains the courage to pick up his phone and text you.

‘Meet me at the place I first met you tonight after your shift... please.’

ten.

The place he first met you. You figured it was at the Timebeam and so you waited, keeping an eye on his usual table so that you could easily notice once he made his way here.

After waiting 30 minutes, the boy is nowhere to be seen, leading you to wonder if this was all some sort of sick joke. A way to get back at you for hurting him the way you did but that part of you that loves him won’t let you think of him in such a malicious way and so with your head drooped down, you ventured out of the crowdy club and into the streets of Seoul, pushing away all the thoughts of the curly-headed boy.

You were starting to have doubts. Seoul was what you were familiar with and in 30 days time you’re gonna have to leave the place you’ve grown accustomed to.

Who am I kidding?

You’ve been waiting to leave this place as soon as you got here. You were having these second thoughts because you wished for a different ending. One where Chan doesn’t hate your guts. Maybe one that ends as perfectly as it started.

And then it hits you. The place he first met you.

You ran. You ran as fast as your legs could take you and there he was - sitting on the same bench, looking out at the shining lake, his hands being kept warm by the pockets of his hoodie. Suddenly the busy streets of Seoul didn’t seem to be as busy anymore.

You walk towards him slowly, engraving his features into your mind, taking a mental picture. Chan was a sight to see and you didn’t want to forget it when you’re 5,000 miles away. Carefully, you take the seat beside him, he doesn’t spare you a glance and you were too ashamed to look at him but you do hear the sigh that comes out of his lips.

Chan finally lets out the breath he’s been holding as soon as he felt your warm body take the seat next to him. After waiting for almost an hour, he was terrified that you were never going to show up and that he wouldn't have a chance to fix the mess he has created. But now he was anxious because he didn’t really think of what he was going to say and you’re here, sitting beside him, the smell of your perfume intoxicating him with every second that passes. Instead of accidentally blurting out something stupid, he stays still, not even sparing you a glance in order to compose his thoughts until you broke them.

“I love you,” you confessed.

Chan chuckles, still looking out at the lake, “are you saying that because you want the bench all to yourself?” he jokes, trying to lighten the air but you weren’t in the mood for any jokes. Facing him, you gather all the confidence that you could muster up, “No. I love you,” you confessed for the second time and Chan couldn’t help but let a tear fall from his eyes as he smiled a gentle smile.

“Thank you,” he says sniffling, finally facing you as you slowly wipe his tears away.

“I’m sorry for what I said, I don't know why I said it...i-,” you blabbered, trying to comfort him.

“That’s okay,” Chan says, cutting you off, “I know why,” he says, a sad tone laced within his voice, “it’s for your dream,” he finishes, shooting you a warm smile. You mirror his expression, glad that he knows that you didn’t actually mean what you said that night.

“I actually have to be the one saying sorry,” he starts, “it wasn’t fair of me to ask you to choose...im sorry y/n,” he says apologetically and all you wanted to do was bury yourself into the crook of his neck and never let go.

Instead you grabbed his hand, lacing it with yours. The feeling of his hands enveloping yours like before felt like home.

“I’m scared,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. Chan grips onto your hand tighter, letting you know that he was there and he will always be there for as long as you let him.

eleven.

Waking up to the sounds of the birds chirping instead of your alarm blaring was truly a phenomenal feeling. It’s your last week and having just resigned from your jobs, you had all the time to yourself. Well…yourself and Chan. You promised him that you were all his this week, something that he asked from you a week before.

“Hey, there’s something I wanted to propose to you,” he says one night as he was walking you home from work.

“Hmm, what is it?”

Getting down on one knee, your eyes widen in shock but quickly regain your composure when you see him pulling nothing but a finger heart from his pocket, “Will you spend your last week in Seoul with me?”

As you think back to that night you never noticed how fast the time came. That fear in the back of your head tends to resurface time and time again however you always had Chan to remind you that you were strong enough for the journey that lies ahead. It’s crazy to think that you won't have that luxury a week from now.

“hmm, what are you thinking about?” a groggily Chan asks from right next to you,

“Just how much I love waking up with you next to me,” you say teasingly.

A smile immediately emerges upon his face as he grabs you close to him, settling his face on the crook of your neck, his arms wrapping around you.

“I have a lot planned for this week,” he mutters, badly trying to shake the sleep away but with you right beside him, he couldn’t help but fall into a deeper slumber.

“I can’t wait,” you yawned, following him shortly after.

twelve.

Namsan Seoul Tower - the last place on Chan’s list.

Two days before your flight.

This week was just filled with Chan taking you to places you have never been before and you realized how beautiful South Korea was when it didn’t deal with you having to take care of drunk people and/or arguing with your professors.

You’ve gained so much more love for this country in the short amount of time you were with Chan than the two years you’ve actually stayed here. It sucked that you never got the chance to explore the place earlier but you were glad that Chan was the one to be able to show you the wonders that it truly holds.

“Baby which lock color do you want?” he asks as you guys find a lock to purchase.

“The black one is nice,” you say, “we could write on it using white marker, I think it’ll stand out more,” you added as Chan immediately picked up the items and paid for them.

As you guys make your way to where the bridge was, you noticed how many couples there were at this place. Everyone has a hand to hold on to, different laughters filling the air and you love the way that Chan and you seem to fit right into the equation. With his fingers in between yours, you look up at him, memorizing every detail.

“We’re here,” he says as you grab the lock from his hand, writing out the words:

“C + (y.in) forever”

Ironic, the word forever.

But who knows? maybe somewhere down the road, forever is for the two of you.

Chan wraps his arms from behind you as you both look at the scenic view ahead. “I’ll always love you,” you say for only him to hear and he muffles back a tear before mimicking your words.

“I’ll always love you too.”

thirteen.

“Chan, thank you,” you say as you guys sat on your favorite bench, enjoying the last night you had together.

“For what?” he says, his thumb slowly grazing over your hands providing the comfort that you were so used to.

“For letting me live my dream.”

fourteen.

Chan dropped you off at the airport. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing you could do, clinging onto him and inhaling every memory of him with you.

Nonetheless, as soon as they called your flight, you left - not even sparing a single glance back. Chan didn’t expect any less though, in fact he hoped that you won’t look back because if you did then he probably would have never let you go.

Chan will always be etched into your mind as the boy who loved you and let you be you and you can’t thank him enough.

fifteen.

3 years later

Looking back at your life in Seoul, you don't even remember the blaring alarms and the loud drunks that you had to deal with on the daily. Instead, memories that include holding a hand and sharing a laugh - memories that lasted only for a moment, were the ones that you remember most.

(a/n): If you’re reading this then thank you so much for reading all the way through! I hope you guys had as much fun reading it than i did writing it. feedback are always welcomed!!! i might not respond to all of them but i do see all the comments and they always make me smile :)

(the only reason i don’t respond is because my main tumblr blog shows up and shes kinda ugly lolol - but you guys can drop stuff off in my asks and ill make sure to reply there)

again, thank you for reading!!! <3

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flyswhumpcenter · 5 years ago

Text

Nurse Café - Chapter 5/6: “Recovery is Nothing but a Filler Arc”

PREVIOUS CHAPTER / NEXT CHAPTER

Fic Summary: Life could have honesty been simpler than that for Hokuto, a second-year Liteature major. There’s, however, someone out there willing to just make it easier on him.

Fandom: Ensemble Stars! (College/Coffeeshop AU) Ships: HokuAn (Anzu/Hokuto)

AO3 version available here.

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Chapter Summary: Hokuto finds the process of recovery boring. This is a snippet into this very boredom.

Chapter Wordcount: 1.7K words.

Chapter Notes: Lmao @ my shitty updating schedule (which isn't a thing to begin with). It's technically filler content, but I felt bad about not having at least some snippets into a recovery process and, of course, more pining because who doesn't like pining. I like writing with a lot of sarcasm and this fic is the perfect occasion for it lol. My goal is to actually finish Nurse Café before 2020 rolls around, so we shall see if the last chapter comes out before the new year arrives! (I doubt it, but you know, a week can be enough for this).

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Recovery was a boring process. A necessary, absurdly boring process.

He supposed it depended on what you needed to recover from. If you only had to recover from a cold, it could be a good occasion to feel cosy: buried under the covers, a cup of hot chocolate in hand, watching some TV programs while a humidifier tried to keep your nose from clogging up… Alas, he wasn’t recovering from a cold at all and must have been in the most boring kind of recovery: the one where he wasn’t well enough to do anything interesting, but not dying enough not to be aware of how much he was wasting his time as he flopped in bed like a fish out of the water.

At least, and yet a little to his dismay, his grandmother had insisted to watch over him when his friends couldn’t. Sure, she was out of her cast and had recovered her full mobility, but she shouldn’t have been there. He was supposed to do this thing on his own, not get babied all over again. It tasted like failure and disappointment in himself, as if the entire situation wasn’t worth being untrusting of his capabilities.

However, a major part of him was grateful for her to be such a watchful caretaker. It was his fault if he had landed there, he admitted to that fact without hesitation (albeit not without swallowing his pride in for good measure), so he could have been expected to fix his own mistake by himself like a good boy; and yet Grandma was here, tending to him each time he’d open his eyes during the day. He’d have to find a way to thank her later down the line…

Truth be told, he was relieved that people were checking up on him. In that state of his, his body barely agreed to move out of the bed, and if it accepted, then it’d only be for short spurts of time. The festering headache raging in his skull really didn’t help in the slightest, instead profiting from his incredible vulnerability to do its thing. The more time went and the less he felt that way, usually trapped in a deep daze for most of the time, overthinking things when he was conscious enough to do that. A… fascinating time to be had in perspective, huh.

If it wasn’t Grandma, it was his friends from university. More exactly, two friends: Isara and Anzu. He had specifically for them not to tell anyone else, as he wanted to preserve a little bit of his credibility within the academic premise. It was mostly about food, medicine and cleaning stuff here and there. Before his glassy eyes, the papers on his floor finally disappeared, piling neatly on the desk as he heard conversations without participating. They made recovery less of a chore to go through.

The only times where he didn’t feel like he was throwing his precious time of the window was when people came in and kept him intellectually awake. Day after day, for an entire week, his favourite moments were still those where Anzu was there, sitting on a chair next to him or simply minding her own business somewhere else in his flat. If his brain wasn’t too confused, she’d stay here more than Grandma and Isara, especially the second as he was permanently busy (he could swear he had heard Anzu making sure he too wasn’t overworked beyond his own mind. Isara only chuckled awkwardly at that).

He’d usually see her do things around, mostly her homework, sometimes something else. After spending almost an entire day sleeping and dazing when he wasn’t unconscious, he could finally truly watch her do things and hum some of her favourite pop songs. She was the most pleasant thing about his recovery, as he could spend some time with her without any major disturbance. He’d never admit it openly, though, because then he’d never see it get lived down.

It felt warmer whenever she was in the room too… Must have been his temperature and the awful sentiment it brought upon him.

The first time he tried to rise out of bed, it was to help Anzu with putting away some groceries and pay her back for these, and she immediately dropped her bottle of dish soap to pin his shoulders back onto the mattress. Would have it not been such a situation, having her on top of him like that would have surely sent him into a daze; instead, Hokuto was glad to blame the sudden burn in his cheeks on what was left of his fever and shook the other ideas away. God, she did look like she was blushing as she realized how cliché their position had been, but it must have been out of embarrassment… Nothing more than that.

He did retry later in the day, after the nth nap he had taken in the last two days (at least, he thought it had been two days? He didn’t exactly have any screen to check the date on to set straight his scrambled perception of time). Once again, Anzu jumped on him, urging him not to overdo it, albeit they had come to a silent compromise: he could sit up now. It was unbelievable than even such a simple gesture still made his head spin like that. At least, it was stabilizing, so he figured his gyroscope had somewhat fixed itself. How fragile had he made himself, exactly?

With some more patience, brought upon him by the screams of the body he couldn’t ignore much anymore and everyone’s smiles and words, he had finally reached a point where he could at least wash himself in peace and not risk opening his frontal lobe on the slippery tiles of the shower. If Grandma and Anzu still insisted to make him his food, he started biting back, albeit as hard as a new-born puppy, much to his chagrin and somewhat to Isara’s amusement.

“I’ve never asked you about that, but I’m curious,” the latter asked him when the three of them were around his table with some fried noodles for dinner. “How in the hell did you put yourself in that situation, Hokuto? It really doesn’t resemble you to be this… careless?”

“Haven’t you asked me that before?”

“Mao has, but you may have… replied with nothing but nonsense, when he did…” Anzu chimed in, scratching her chin with an awkward smile.

He felt his embarrassment rise up in his throat again, but instead decided to clear his throat and brush it aside as much as possible.

“Things piled up, I suppose. I was making a presentation with a tight deadline and taking care of my grandmother who had broken her foot. It got out of control much more than I had anticipated.”

“Why didn’t you ask us to help then?” Isara seemed genuinely confused, or at least curious.

“Both Anzu and you were already busy, and I sincerely doubt Akehoshi would have made anything better for my grandma. Yuuki seemed busy enough as it was too, now that I think about it.”

Truth be told, Hokuto had no real answer to give and it must have felt by his two friends, considering the looks of disbelief they gave each other before realizing they’d both be late to class if they didn’t eat any faster.

By the end of the week, life was finally back to what it should have been. It still hadn’t prevented Hokuto from disobeying doctor’s orders (he didn’t remember getting examined at any point, but if Anzu was telling him so, then it must have happened at some point…) and grabbing his laptop to write some mails here and there. Braving the headache the brightness of the screen was providing him with, he attempted explaining himself to his prof for his sudden disappearance with his presentation in hand.

Apparently, he had written nothing but gibberish, and that was more than enough to convey to the prof how unwell he had been. He guessed it was convenient, in a way…

He made sure to thank everyone as much as possible. Unexpectedly, Grandma told him it was her mission as a grandparent to take care of him, especially after he had done so for her; and he felt too humbled to respond anything against that. Isara more or less told him the same, saying it was normal for friends to help each other and that they needed to do so anyway, that he didn’t mind. The amused smirk on this man’s lips as he said that more or less indicated that he had gotten some amusement out of the situation. As soon as he got noticed, though, Isara told him he had been worried and that it was good to see a buddy go back to normalcy. They agreed on that statement.

Still, how could he thank Anzu for all of her services? She had done a ton for him and he had no real way to get back to her on that. She had spent a lot of her precious time trying to fix his mistakes and didn’t spare her words when it came to convincing him that resting was what he truly needed and that it was okay for him not to force himself out of bed this quickly. It really didn’t help that his feelings were having a rave party in the back of his mind…

“You don’t have to thank me or pay me back,” Anzu responded. “At least, don’t feel forced to do so. I was just happy to take care of a friend!”

The pink on her cheeks was back. Did he happen to still have some fever lingering and playing with his senses?

“I’m just glad you’re alright now. You really scared me when you collapsed like that, you know?”

“I’m pretty sure I do.”

“You better do! I don’t want to see that happen to you again, so I hope you’ve learnt the lesson… You’ll be fine from now on, right?”

“I should be. Thank you very much again, Anzu.”

“And you’re still welcome, it’s the third time you thank me in five minutes! Take care, okay? I’d hate to see you this sick again. See you soon!”

“See you soon.”

On that she left, her smile and her perfume leaving the premise of his previously fatigue-riddled flat. It made up for ideal circumstances to realize something: Hokuto was afraid he’d have to soon deal with a whole other kind of sickness.

#enstars #hokuan #anzu (enstars)#isara mao #sickfic #hurt comfort #recovery #caretaking #fatigue #au: college #au: coffeeshop #otp: konpeito chou cream #Fic: Nurse Cafe

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