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harleenfleck · 5 years ago

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“The Joker and the Harlequin”

Joker/Arthur Fleck x Harley Quinn/Harleen Quinzel Fic

Summary:

"You may not understand, but when you see the Joker laughing, I see him crying"

Harleen Quinzel is the new Intern in the Arkham Asylum, place where she meets the distinguished criminal Arthur Fleck, mostly known as the Joker. She fears of him, until for a meaningless revenge and corruption inside the psychiatric hospital, the Joker becomes his patient. In every psychiatric consultation they will have, Harleen will gradually feel a connection to Arthur, a fatal connection that will lead to her lethal destiny.

Will it be at least reciprocal?

Warnings of the story in general: Violence, gender-based violence, obscene language, sexual content, possible drug addiction and possible NSFW.

Notes: Well, after thinking about them a lot, I've decided to translate my first fanfic from “Joker” into English, what an emotion! I hope the translation be decent hehe. Anyway I'm sorry if I make some mistakes grammatical or writing mistakes :3

I hope you like this first chapter, I'll put warnings and notes on all the chapters, and some lyrics of songs too.

I also want to explain that Harley Quinn/Harleen Quinzel will be one of the characters that will have the most changes, oh no, don't worry, believe me, only the character will adapt. At first it would seem like it's OoC, but trust me, Harleen Quinzel will have a different yet similar development to become Harley Quinn.

And also clarify another thing about Harley: I'm frequently asked, "What actress should I imagine in Harley Quinn, In Margot Robbie or another woman?" The truth is, you imagine the actress you want for Harley, you're free to do it. Honestly, I don't have any actress in particular, sometimes I think on Margot Robbie but on other occasions I think on actresses like Elizabeth Olsen, Emily Browning, Esther Povitsky, and even Natalie Portman. Don't limit yourself! Imagine your own Harley Quinn for Arthur!

By the way! If you speaks in Spanish and want to read the whole story to where I have stayed, it left you the links of Fanfiction.net and Wattpad :3 (Don’t make spoilers!)

I think with nothing more to say or clarify, I will leave you with the first chapter, I hope you like this story! It will be a sad and dramatic thing, but because I like the sad and dramatic, hehe, enjoy it!

Warning of this chapter: No one. Just this one it’s short.

...

Chapter 1

"Good morning, citizens of Gotham City, we hope you're all right from wherever you're watching us. Today is a tremendously sad day for all of us... Today 10 years ago was the Tragedy of Gotham City..."

The day was painted gray. For many people, they hoped the day would end soon.

But for her, the day just starting.

She thought about it while picking up her dark brown hair and making a bun with this one. She had to be completely prepared.

She looked her nails, making sure were free of polish and short. It wasn't like her nails always going to wear nail polish, she just wanted to make sure.

The truth is she was very anxious, and of the same anxiety, she had eaten her nails. It had to be a perfect day for her.

She looked in the mirror, feared that her makeup would be outrageous, fortunately for her it was actually subtle. She did not use many products on her face, however, she considered it perfect for the occasion. The only thing missing was the most basic thing, the essential, what could not be missed by anything in the world in a makeup: The lipstick.

She looked at her collection of lipsticks, a collection made up for only five lipsticks. Of all, she chosen and had among her fingers one of her favorites, a red lipstick.

She uncovered it and looked it. Yes, it could be the ideal color, the one indicated for the occasion, because from the first time she was fortunate to try it on, it was the type of lipstick that made her feel more confident and self-assured.

"If you're gonna start use this kind of makeup, that would be no problem if you start helping me with the rent of the apartment, just pick a good corner, where the police don't notice you, but the customers do"

Remembering her mother's words when she discovered that lipstick in her collection, she made her keep it immediately. Ashamed, she preferred to use an opaque rose lipstick.

She looked one more time in the mirror of her dressing table: Makeup ready, hairstyle ready, clothes too. Everything was ready in her.

It was her first day of the Internship, her first day as a psychiatrist, and even though she loved her career as a doctor and the approach she decided to give it, she did not like the idea of where she would develop professionally. Well, she didn't deserve to be there.

She was one of the best students (Probably the best) of her generation in the specialty of Psychiatry. She wanted to escape from Gotham City, because that city, also being one of the worst cities in the country, brought her terrible memories. So, putting all his knowledge to work, she managed to present an excellent thesis that dealt with how criminal comportment was born in the society.

Of course, it was a pretty flattered job, one of the best in decades. However, the teachers in charge of graduating the psychiatrist, knowing that, despite the woman's attitude, they could see she was someone very beautiful, and they did not want to miss the opportunity.

The teachers told to the girl that for the excellent investigation they gave her approval and honors, but if she really wanted that, she must "met with them in their offices from 8:00 PM" or see them in the “Mermaid Motel” on the outskirts of the city at 9 p.m.

She, remembering fears of the past, rejected to be alone with any of those teachers who had made sexual insinuations to her, and even she exhibited them. They, in revenge, decided to take away her right to choose their Internship place and send it to the worst place where she could do it:

In the Arkham Asylum

She felt like a kick in her stomach when the rest of her classmates escaped to better places in the country. But she had no choice but to prepare and fulfill what the destiny told her to do.

Once ready, with her hand bag, her rounded glasses over her nose and her doctor’s coat under her arm, the young woman walked once more to her mirror.

“... It's your first day... It's your first day Harleen... Don't screw it up... Don't do it”

She left her room, ready for everything.

“Mom, I’m leaving”

Harleen looked that her mother ignored her, while she sat watching the news on TV. Without saying anything else, she left her apartment.

Not much happened when on the subway, Harleen delve into her thoughts and occasionally looked at people. She read from afar the newspaper headline of an older man who was focused on his reading.

"The Dark Knight stops a bank robbery"

Harleen knew who they referred to in the city as The Dark Knight, some are agreed with him and defended him, others hated him and wanted him to be arrested as soon as possible.

Harleen didn't care if that vigilante was doing the right thing or not, what surprised her was that someone outside the authorities did their job.

Leaving aside that subject in her mind she concentrated again on her thoughts.

Despite being at Arkham, she was enthusiastic.

When she was a teenager, she had always been fascinated by psychiatry: The study of mental illness.

What she could wait from that day?

“Hey little lady, give me your wallet”

“Eh?”

Oh yes, the bad luck lady always accompanied her everywhere.

Harleen's blue eyes rose, a guy with bad loos was pointing her with a knife. Her eyes became small when she noticed the assaulter's intentions.

She looked everywhere, waiting for help. People acted like what was going on in front of her was a passing vision. Something that wasn't really going on.

In a fearful and shy voice, she spoke to the criminal.

“No... Please... It’s, it’s my first day in…”

“Give me the fucking wallet if you don't want to die!”

Scared, she pulled her wallet out of her bag and took out the money, handed it over to the assailant.

20 bucks.

“That’s all, bitch?”

“It's, it's all I've got, I don't have more...”

Frightened, she hoped it would be enough for the robber, but she just felt something damp on her cheek, it was a spit, he spit on her.

“Fucking poor”

When the thief leaves, she looked everywhere again, the subway wasn't so full, but if there were enough people to get up to defend her, it was just a knife.

But she at once thought that not everyone would give her life for a stranger.

Disappointed that her day will not start as she wanted, she looked out the subway window as she wiped herself with a tissue she pulled out of her bag.

A tear ran down the cheek cleaned, dried that drop quickly. She didn't want to ruin her makeup.

When she finished to clean her face, she breathed.

She was hoping it wasn't a bad day.

She was expecting that with all the hopes she had left.

...

“Nobody knows, nobody cares if I'm lonesome

Nobody sighs, nobody cries if I'm blue

It seems that night after night

I sit alone and twiddle my thumbs

But still I keep right on hoping, keep the door open

But nobody comes”

Annette Hanshaw - " Nobody Cares If I'm Blue"

#Joker #Joker fanfiction #Joker x Harley Quinn #Arthur Fleck x Harleen Quinzel #Joker 2019 #Write #Writing #I can't belive I do this omg #AAAAAAAA #Harley Quinn #Harleen Quinzel #joker film #Joker fandom #Joker (2019) fanfiction

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blogwonderwebsites · 6 years ago

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Nature China’s Leaders Confront an Unlikely Foe: Ardent Young Communists

Nature China’s Leaders Confront an Unlikely Foe: Ardent Young Communists Nature China’s Leaders Confront an Unlikely Foe: Ardent Young Communists http://www.nature-business.com/nature-chinas-leaders-confront-an-unlikely-foe-ardent-young-communists/

Nature

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Activists in Shenzhen last month protested in support of workers’ rights. Their banners call for the punishment of corrupt police officials and the release of detained factory workers.CreditCreditSue-Lin Wong/Reuters

HUIZHOU, China — They were exactly what China’s best universities were supposed to produce: young men and women steeped in the ideology of the Chinese Communist Party.

They read Marx, Lenin and Mao and formed student groups to discuss the progress of socialism. They investigated the treatment of the campus proletariat, including janitors, cooks and construction workers. They volunteered to help struggling rural families and dutifully recited the slogans of President Xi Jinping.

Then, after graduation, they attempted to put the party’s stated ideals into action, converging from across China last month on Huizhou, a city in the south, to organize labor unions at nearby factories and stage protests demanding greater protections for workers.

That’s when the party realized it had a problem.

The authorities moved quickly to crush the efforts of the young activists, detaining several dozen of them and scrubbing the internet of their calls for justice — but not before their example became a rallying cry for young people across the country unhappy with growing inequality, corruption and materialism in Chinese society.

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A group of student activists and young Maoists were seeking last month to help factory workers form a labor union in Huizhou, a city in southern China.CreditSue-Lin Wong/Reuters

“You are the backbone of the working class!” the protesters chanted at one rally, addressing workers at an equipment factory. “We share your honor and your disgrace!”

Protests are common in China, especially by workers who have nowhere else to turn in a nation without independent unions, courts or news media. But the demonstrations in Huizhou were unusual because they were organized by students and recent graduates from some of the country’s top universities, who have generally stayed off the streets since the 1989 pro-democracy movement that ended in bloodshed outside Tiananmen Square.

In the decades since that massacre, university students have generally helped advance the party’s economic and political agenda, focusing on jobs, homes and other aspects of material well-being while supporting authoritarian rule, or at least eschewing politics. As economic growth has slowed, party officials have grown more nervous about Western influences on the nation’s youth, who are more worldly and digitally connected than ever before.

But the Huizhou activists represent a threat the authorities did not expect.

Carrying portraits of Mao and singing socialist anthems, they espoused the very ideals that the government fed them for years in mandatory ideological classes, voicing grievances about issues like poverty, worker rights and gender equality — some of communism’s core concerns.

“What we are doing is entirely legal and reasonable,” said Chen Kexin, a senior at Renmin University in Beijing who took part in the protests. “We are Marxists. We praise socialism. We stand with workers. The authorities can’t target us.”

But they have. On the morning of Aug. 24, police officers wearing riot gear raided the four-bedroom apartment the activists were renting in Huizhou and detained about 50 people. As the police burst through the door, the activists held hands and sang “L’Internationale.”

Though some have been released, 14 activists and workers remain in custody or under house arrest, according to labor rights advocates. The local police accused the workers of acting on behalf of foreign nongovernmental organizations.

Since President Xi took power in 2012, the party has sought to restrict the use of Western textbooks and stop the spread of “Western values” on campus, referring to ideas about rule of law and democracy that could undermine its hold on power.

At the same time, Mr. Xi has demanded that universities expand their teachings on Mao and Marx. In May, he visited Peking University and encouraged students to promote Marxism, saying it was important for the university to “take Marxism as its surname.”

But some in the party seem uneasy about the proliferation of these groups, apparently worried that their calls for greater economic equality and worker rights could undermine China’s modern-day embrace of capitalist markets.

While only a small minority of students are involved, they represent a leftist critique of Chinese society that seems to be gaining traction on college campuses, partly because the authorities have been more hesitant to suppress it than other political discussion.

On the Chinese internet, thousands of young people participate in vibrant Maoist and Marxist chat rooms, and some have started leftist news websites, posting commentary on topics like pollution, globalization and economic theory, without much interference by censors, until recently.

This week, school officials harassed young Marxists at a half-dozen universities and prevented some from meeting, activists said. And last year, the police in Guangzhou, the capital of Guangdong Province, arrested Zhang Yunfan, the young leader of a Maoist reading group, accusing him of “gathering a crowd to disturb social order.”

Younger Chinese are often described as apathetic, selfish and obsessed with money. But Eric Fish, a writer who has studied Chinese millennials, said that the generation born after the Tiananmen Square massacre lacks the instinctive fear of authority of older generations.

“They’re more willing to go out on the street and stick their necks out,” he said. “There is not as much appreciation for what could go wrong.”

The dispute in Huizhou began in July, after Jasic Technology, a manufacturer of welding equipment, prevented its workers from forming an independent union. China allows labor organizing only under the auspices of the official, party-controlled All-China Federation of Trade Unions.

The workers said managers had seized control of their branch of the official union. Complaining of being underpaid and treated like slaves, they began to organize a petition before the police intervened and detained several of them.

The young activists learned of the workers’ plight on internet messaging apps and took up their cause, with about 40 students and recent graduates going to Huizhou, a manufacturing hub of 4.8 million people in Guangdong Province. Hundreds of others spoke out in support online — so many that several universities warned students not to go to Huizhou.

“I could not sit still,” Yue Xin, a recent graduate of Peking University who majored in foreign languages, said in an interview before she was detained. “I could not let myself be a mere internet commentator. I had to stand up.”

Zhang Shengye, 21, who graduated in June from Peking University with a degree in pharmacology, said he was inspired to join the protests by his family’s own struggles. His father, a sailor, was laid off from a state-owned firm during a wave of privatization in the 1990s, an experience Mr. Zhang described as a “financial and emotional apocalypse.”

But it was in college that he decided to answer Marx’s call to “work for mankind,” he said. Frustrated by the low wages and poor treatment of workers on campus, he and 60 other students, calling themselves the Marxist Research Association, published a report documenting labor violations.

“We share a very simple sympathy for workers and the aspiration of a better future for communism,” he said.

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Zhang Shengye

In Huizhou, the young activists called each other “comrade” and wore T-shirts with images of clenched fists and the slogan, “Unity is strength.” They marched alongside workers, holding banners that declared, “Forming unions is not a crime.” They staged re-enactments of the abuse the workers said they endured at the factory.

Though they identify as Maoists, the activists are decidedly nonviolent, unlike Maoist rebels in countries like Nepal and India who embrace violent revolution. Their philosophy also differs from China’s older Maoists, who largely focus on rooting out Western influences in Chinese society and are less confrontational toward the party.

The young protesters insist that they are good communists who support President Xi.

Before she was detained, Ms. Yue wrote an open letter to Mr. Xi saying that she had been inspired by his fight against corruption and his time working in an impoverished village in the countryside as a young man.

She added that the campaign in Huizhou had its roots not in foreign ideas, but in the May Fourth Movement of 1919, a student-led uprising in China that the party considers a precursor to the Communist Revolution.

Ms. Yue, also a leader of China’s #MeToo movement who spoke out against sexual harassment and assault on campus, has not been heard from since the police detained her during the Aug. 24 raid.

Friends are also worried about Shen Mengyu, one of the first students to call attention to the workers’ campaign. She was held by security officials at a hotel and is now under surveillance at her parents’ home, activists said.

Several workers at the equipment factory have also been formally arrested and charged with disturbing social order. Huang Lanfeng, whose husband, Yu Juncong, was among those detained, said the government was unfairly punishing workers while ignoring factory abuses.

“We will never give up,” she said. “We swear to fight the evil forces until the end.”

As the school year began, the activists vowed to press their campaign. Mr. Zhang and others staged a rally in Mao’s hometown, Shaoshan, on the 42nd anniversary of the Chinese leader’s death this month, and called on the government to release their friends. The police broke up the protest and briefly detained Mr. Zhang, who was also held and released after the Aug. 24 raid.

Mr. Zhang has circulated a petition calling on the party to punish local officials. He wrote:

“We are here because we are deeply aware that what we do is legal and just.

“We are here because we want to repay the workers with what we have learned for so many years.

“We are here because we don’t want to believe that dark forces can laugh malignantly in the world we inhabit.”

Follow Javier C. Hernández on Twitter: @HernandezJavier.

Zoe Mou and Echo Hui contributed research.

Read More | https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/28/world/asia/china-maoists-xi-protests.html |

Nature China’s Leaders Confront an Unlikely Foe: Ardent Young Communists, in 2018-09-29 00:41:43

#Nature of Business in the Current Market

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internetbasic9 · 6 years ago

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Nature China’s Leaders Confront an Unlikely Foe: Ardent Young Communists

Nature China’s Leaders Confront an Unlikely Foe: Ardent Young Communists Nature China’s Leaders Confront an Unlikely Foe: Ardent Young Communists https://ift.tt/2xHvvXi

Nature

Image

HUIZHOU, China — They were exactly what China’s best universities were supposed to produce: young men and women steeped in the ideology of the Chinese Communist Party.

That’s when the party realized it had a problem.

Image

A group of student activists and young Maoists were seeking last month to help factory workers form a labor union in Huizhou, a city in southern China.CreditSue-Lin Wong/Reuters

“You are the backbone of the working class!” the protesters chanted at one rally, addressing workers at an equipment factory. “We share your honor and your disgrace!”

But the Huizhou activists represent a threat the authorities did not expect.

“They’re more willing to go out on the street and stick their necks out,” he said. “There is not as much appreciation for what could go wrong.”

“We share a very simple sympathy for workers and the aspiration of a better future for communism,” he said.

Image

Zhang Shengye

The young protesters insist that they are good communists who support President Xi.

Ms. Yue, also a leader of China’s #MeToo movement who spoke out against sexual harassment and assault on campus, has not been heard from since the police detained her during the Aug. 24 raid.

“We will never give up,” she said. “We swear to fight the evil forces until the end.”

Mr. Zhang has circulated a petition calling on the party to punish local officials. He wrote:

“We are here because we are deeply aware that what we do is legal and just.

“We are here because we want to repay the workers with what we have learned for so many years.

“We are here because we don’t want to believe that dark forces can laugh malignantly in the world we inhabit.”

Follow Javier C. Hernández on Twitter: @HernandezJavier.

Zoe Mou and Echo Hui contributed research.

Read More | https://ift.tt/2OmbUp7 |

Nature China’s Leaders Confront an Unlikely Foe: Ardent Young Communists, in 2018-09-29 00:41:43

#Nature of Business in the Current Market

0 notes

blogparadiseisland · 6 years ago

Text

Nature China’s Leaders Confront an Unlikely Foe: Ardent Young Communists

Nature

Image

HUIZHOU, China — They were exactly what China’s best universities were supposed to produce: young men and women steeped in the ideology of the Chinese Communist Party.

That’s when the party realized it had a problem.

Image

A group of student activists and young Maoists were seeking last month to help factory workers form a labor union in Huizhou, a city in southern China.CreditSue-Lin Wong/Reuters

“You are the backbone of the working class!” the protesters chanted at one rally, addressing workers at an equipment factory. “We share your honor and your disgrace!”

But the Huizhou activists represent a threat the authorities did not expect.

“They’re more willing to go out on the street and stick their necks out,” he said. “There is not as much appreciation for what could go wrong.”

“We share a very simple sympathy for workers and the aspiration of a better future for communism,” he said.

Image

Zhang Shengye

The young protesters insist that they are good communists who support President Xi.

Ms. Yue, also a leader of China’s #MeToo movement who spoke out against sexual harassment and assault on campus, has not been heard from since the police detained her during the Aug. 24 raid.

“We will never give up,” she said. “We swear to fight the evil forces until the end.”

Mr. Zhang has circulated a petition calling on the party to punish local officials. He wrote:

“We are here because we are deeply aware that what we do is legal and just.

“We are here because we want to repay the workers with what we have learned for so many years.

“We are here because we don’t want to believe that dark forces can laugh malignantly in the world we inhabit.”

Follow Javier C. Hernández on Twitter: @HernandezJavier.

Zoe Mou and Echo Hui contributed research.

Read More | https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/28/world/asia/china-maoists-xi-protests.html |

Nature China’s Leaders Confront an Unlikely Foe: Ardent Young Communists, in 2018-09-29 00:41:43

#Nature of Business in the Current Market

0 notes

trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

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Artie Lange Is Not Ready to Die: F*ck Em All

Its hard being friends with the notoriously demon-plagued comedian Artie Langewhich, full disclosure, I am. This is in no way objective. I truly want the guy to live.

I first interviewed Lange in 2006 as part of the New York Posts coverage of the annual New York Comedy Festival. He had just sold out Carnegie Hall in a few hours and was on top of the world. Over the next few years, we met at comedy clubs from time to time. I mentioned how healthy he looked in a May 2009 Page Six item about his visiting Colin Quinns one-man show (which he mentioned in his book Crash and Burn). When I interviewed him again on Oct. 30, 2009, it was a longer talk this time, with a few insights that surprised me. He talked about the game comics play of initially sabotaging a set with the audience, then seeing if you can dig yourself out of that hole. I asked if he had ever thought that he might be playing the same game with his own life. You should be a shrink, he said.

Sixty-nine days later, I heard the news, like anyone else who follows Lange: that he was near death after stabbing himself in the stomach nine times with a 13-inch kitchen knife.

Then on Sept. 27, 2010, I got a call from comedian Dan Naturman, who told me all about Arties triumphant return at the Comedy Cellar, which led to an incredibly feel-good lead item in Page Six called: Artie Lange Thrills Audiences Again.

I interviewed him several more times over the years, and when my husband Pat Dixon, who is also a comedian, started his own show in 2015 at Compound Media, run by controversial radio legend Anthony Cumia, I told Artie that he ought to consider joining the network. To my surpriseand unrelated to me telling him that, as the pairing of two Sirius refugees is a no-brainer for anyone who follows shock-jock radioin August 2017, he started a new show with Cumia called The AA Show. Now, not only did Lange have a regular broadcasting outlet, but the HBO series Judd Apatow and Pete Holmes enlisted him in called Crashing, where he played himself, was a bona fide hit. His third book, Wanna Bet?, was inked, his standup was doing well, and so if you were doing any kind of predictive sequence, what happened next was no surprise.

Oct. 16, 2017: Artie Lange rushed to hospital, cancels weekend show. Dec. 13, 2017: Artie Lange Arrested After Missing Court Date for Drug Charges. Dec. 15, 2017: Artie Lange Headed to Rehab on Private Jet After Drug Charge.

Less than a month later, on Jan. 12, Lange returned home to New York and tweeted out to his 364,000 followers: Im back guys. Clean & Sober 32 days.

On Jan. 18, after celebrating Dave Attells birthday (Artie just turned 50 himself), Lange met me in between sets at New York Citys Olive Tree Cafe. To avoid the requests for photos from fans and occasional paparazzi, we sat in his SUV and drove around the city for an hour and a half before returning to the comedy club. With one hand on the steering wheel and one on an unlit Marlboro Red, Lange talked about everything from Harvey Weinstein to Donald Trump to Louis C.K. to Aziz Ansari to the fundamental question at hand:

Artie Lange doesnt want to die… right?

The following interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Mandy: So I guess Im wondering at what point all of this is enough to get you to stop. Like, for instance, I have a friend who if he did cocaine one more time, the doctors told him his nose would collapse

Artie: Well half of my nose is gone. My nose has no septum. I mean Ive been snorting coke and heroin

Mandy: When was the last time you did coke or heroin?

Artie: Well I just pissed clean at Hazelden so thats 38 days. But heres the thing: 31 of them were in lockdown. So nows the real work. And Im not going to lie to you, its a struggle lying there every night.

Mandy: Whats the longest youve ever been clean?

Artie: Since I was 15, 11 months. And two weeks in my twenties.

Mandy: Do you take, what is it, methadone?

Artie: No, no. I was on methadone years ago. There was a methadone clinic on Eighth and 35th, and I would go there before Howard. They would give it out to me, like special, at 5:30 a.m. I had to stop doing heroin because I was losing my job. They gave me the methadone. Its fucking heroin, basically. I left during interviews to throw up. And I said, Well this is worse than fucking heroin, so why dont I stay on that. I take Suboxone now. Suboxone works well for me, and its accepted by society. It looks like a pill you take for blood pressure every morning, so thats how Ive got to look at it. It lets you not go cold turkey.

Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped.

Artie Lange

Mandy: You detoxed cold turkey in jail this last time?

Artie: Ive been in jail like eight times, and this past time, I detoxed. I kicked heroin, like lying on the floor. When I got arraigned, you always want to be very respectful in front of the judge. She was like, What are you doing? And Im thinking to myself, Well, your honor, Im dead. And you know, Im trying to stand up. Withdrawal, the physical stuff, people would see the first or the second day of withdrawals, girlfriends would say, Well, that was really bad. And Im like, You saw the opening act. That was The Clash. That was David Johansen. The Who is about to take the stage. The third or fourth day of heroin withdrawal, if youre a big user like I became, if youre not physically stopped from getting dope, youll get it. With heroin, I became an addict on the road. I always had money. Ive never had to steal. I dont judge those people. Like people say to me, Have you ever blown a guy for heroin? I say, No. But then again, no ones ever asked.

Mandy: If you do fall off the wagon again, are you scared of fentanyl at all?

Artie: No. A real heroin addict is not scared of fentanyl. Id do it in a heartbeat. I want strong shit.

Mandy: Have you seen the tiny amount it takes to kill you?

Artie: I dont know what it is, but draw it back one inch. I would accept fentanyl in a heartbeat. I had a fentanyl patch on in a mental home. It was unbelievable. Ive never ODed. Ive had dealers say, Jesus Christ. What the fuck. But the nose is bad now. I could get a brain infection. If I did it, anything would go right to the brain. But again, I heard that six months ago, and I went and used an hour after.

Mandy: So I mean… you must want to die.

Artie: No, I dont want to die. I want to be high.

Mandy: But that will eventually kill you.

Artie: Im 50. If you would have told me in 1995, if you tried to bring up 2018, it would be like The Jetsons. Id be like, What are you talking about?

Mandy: So youre having fun on borrowed time.

Artie: Im playing with the houses money. As far as Im concerned, Im an overachiever. A lot of money changed hands on the internet when I turned 50. I was so happy. Fuck em all.

Mandy: But I mean… your mom and your sister. Theyre the main people who keep you from wanting to to be reckless with the houses money, right?

Artie: Yes thats the… thats the worst.

Mandy: I called your mom when you were practically in a coma these last few weeks, and her voice was just so heartbroken. I dont think she thought you were going to make it.

Artie: Yeah, you know, my father left us with nothing. I love my dad. He was my best friend. But my father was a criminal. My dad was an impulsive guy, and thats what killed him. Just like my father, with me, there are real high highs and real low lows. Like my mother saw me at Carnegie Hall, when my book went to No. 1 on The New York Times bestseller list, and I think [Barack] Obamas was like No. 7. She has that framed. But then shes also seen me withdrawing in jail.

youtube

Mandy: Your mom discovered you when you tried to kill yourself in 2010, right?

Artie: That was not a suicide attempt. I was in such bad withdrawals. Believe me, I leave a note. The one other time, I left a note. But shrinks go, Youve never tried to kill yourself. Because there was always a mountain of drugs involved. I was in such bad withdrawals, I wanted to feel something different. I was by myself. I wanted to lose enough blood to pass out. When I woke up, I dont know, I figured Id put on a red shirt and go out. I didnt know my mother was coming over. They had an intervention planned that I didnt even know about. I go, Ma, you never planned a surprise party.

Mandy: Does your mom talk to you every day?

Artie: Yeah, my mother knows me better than anybody, but I dont tell her when I slip. You know, when Dr. Drew offered me 250 grand to do Celebrity Rehab, I thought to myself, Do I just want to kill my mother now? Like its going to be me and Dennis Rodman throwing up in the same bucket. I love Dr. Drew, but I knew that show was going to go off the air because the recovery rate is like zero. If Pablo Escobar were alive today, hed be running a rehab. Its such a corrupt industry.

Mandy: You seem to still get offered drugs a lot. I think about that scene in Crashing where its the super hot woman from Showgirls who has coke and wants to do it with you.

Artie: Gina Gershon? Yeah, you know, that episode is based on one of my stories. And if the woman who inspired the episode figures it out, shed be very happy with the casting.

Mandy: Do you think it was a good idea to leave rehab early?

Artie: I have to do this intense outpatient thing which is five days a week. I go in there in the morning, and I get piss tests there. Screen Actors Guild doesnt let you do that to people. Like its almost an NFL union. You cant pee-test people. Not that Im complaining about it, but I dont get fired from shows because ultimately its a forgiving business for stuff like that. People always say its a forgiving business. And, its true. Robert Downey Jr. came back, and hes like the best actor ever. But for every one of him, theres like two thousand Jeff Conaways from Taxi living at a right angle and nobody cares and they die alone.

Mandy: Youre just working so much right now.

Artie: The one genre where I have some juice is the radio business, and you know Anthony Cumia, I love Anthony so much now. I never really met him before. Were both sort of outlaws. Without this podcasting technology you know we both would be out of a job now, probably. Its such a weird existence I have right now. Over on one side, Im doing this crazy podcast with Anthony on Compound Media that I love, and then Im on Crashing which is an HBO-produced show I love, but which could not be more the other way. Judd Apatow is another famous guy who saved my life. Like, what a great person. Ive got books and stand-up, and Im still making a lot of money doing it. If thats not going to go away, theres not much of an incentive to stay in rehab.

Mandy: And Im guessing, from what you said, you dont want to leave your mom with nothing. So what about a gig like the one with Anthony Cumia. Is that enabling or is that helping you stay clean?

Artie: Let me tell you something: I love doing it. Its almost like therapy. A lot of people dont understand a comics mind. People are like, Youre going to jump right into stand-up? Yeah, thats what I have to do. I cant stop doing it. And Anthonys show is like from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. Its the most fun Ive ever had in my life. Even more fun than Howard. Because I was never uncensored on Howard. Its his show. Its Howard. So what was happening near the end when his life changed, he would meet somebody in the Hamptons, and we wouldnt know about it. Like me and Fred [Norris, the longest tenured Howard Stern staff member] wouldnt know about it. And then hed be friends with them, like somebody we bashed for 10 years. So Id say something about Richard Gere, and hed go, You got a problem with him? Id go, Havent we always had a problem with him? No, I had dinner with him. Well, can I get the memo? I dont give a shit. Ill put him on the fucking list. But I wouldnt not be able to make fun of Orlando Bloom. The show, I couldnt be on now. And he knew that.

Mandy: Anthony probably does a better Howard impression than Howard at this point.

Artie: Well the thing about Anthony is that hes the same guy off-air. But its not true for Howard. Howards a very fascinating guy. He must have an IQ north of 180. But the example I always use is that Hunter S. Thompson was a guy who destroyed like the wealthy and corporate America, and he walked the walk until the end of his life. He was a crazy maniac in Colorado and shot himself in the head. And Howard was like that for a while. He was making fun of all these people, and when he got a chancelike no one else has become an A-list person through the radiobut when he got a chance to be with those people, fans thought hes going to be like Hunter S. Thompson. Like you see them through the window eating, and hes going to bust through the window or moon them or something. And when he got the chance, like Jennifer Anistons wedding, he starts making out with Orlando Bloom.

Mandy: Metaphorically.

Artie: Right. And to me as a fan, its like, what the fuck have we been laughing at all this time? Me and my first girlfriend at the time Dana [Sironi], she was close with Beth [Ostrosky Stern]. And Beth is a sweetheart. I dont want to make it sound like Im bitter. I still love Howard.

Mandy: Who are the people from the Stern show you keep in touch with?

Artie: Well, theyre not allowed to call me. I swear to God, Ive had people tell me from the show they were worried they were talking to me. Look, Im a person whos impulsive, and I get very angry and I say things I shouldnt say. Its hurt me my whole life, and Im a junkie.

Mandy: You tweeted a few days ago, Look out Marci. Im talking to Howard without your permission, referring to his high-profile handler Marci Turk. Did you actually talk to Howard Stern?

Artie: No, I dont talk to Howard. We hate each others guts. He cant stand me for some reason, and Ive learned to hate him.

Mandy: Whats your reaction to Louis C.K.? And now everyones talking about the story that was written about Aziz Ansari.

Artie: Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped. But you know, I agree with Samantha Bee when she says it doesnt have to be rape to ruin somebodys life. Thats true. And what Louis did is despicable. That was a rumor for a long time. But if youre a couple of women at the Aspen Comedy Festival, youve got a lot going on, probably. And theres this comedian, who back then he wasnt famous, but hes always been respected, and they certainly knew him. And hes promising them shit supposedly, and its just because he wants to jerk off in front of them. Its just the creepiest thing ever. Louis was always overrated to me. He has like five jokes hes written that I like. But you know Ill go along with it, if it gets me spots. I just think hes overrated. To me, it was like the emperors new clothes came off. In the hotel room.

Mandy: Have you had any women approach you with any kind of Me Too moment, something they wanted to confront you about?

Artie: A girl? No. I mean, some people think Im a misogynist because of stuff on the Stern show. You know Ive never told anybody this, but this is how my family feels about sex predators: After I told my father about a high-school teacher hurting a girl I knew, the way my dad dealt with it was by waiting outside the teachers house, putting a bag over the guys head, and leaving him in a car for two days. My dad came back, disguised his voice, and he said, Stop fucking touching little girls. Im not condoning how he handled it, but thats just the truth. My father thought that was justified. You know, there are people who think Goodfellas is horrible. We think its a comedy. My momshe is the strongest woman in my lifeand she and my sister are my heroes. Any woman whos ever dated me will tell you, Im like, Are you sure? Can we get this in writing and an email from you? I think in Hollywood, its a case of these nerdy guys who dont know what to do with a woman, and they get a chance to do it, and they do something inappropriate. Like Ive never been a Casanova but Ive always been able to get a date. I think the more time you stay asexual in your adult life, you get creepier.

Mandy: Ive had several comics over the years tell me about their personal dislike for Aziz based on his standoffish behavior. Do you think theres any schadenfreude right now as he is coming under fire?

Artie: Im probably one of those guys. I thought he could follow me on Bitter. I dont like bashing of comedians in general. I hated the Dane Cook-bashing thing. And Dane goes on to make all that money, and that bitterness comes out. Then his brother steals millions of dollars from him. I wish Dane well. And you know, I think Aziz gets a lot of that bitterness, too. You know, his timing is perfect for comedy. But what he does at the Comedy Cellar is not going to endear him to anybody. What he does there, he sits in the corner like a young Dylan writing jokes, and he can do that at home. We get it. Youre a hard worker. But I guess were going to have to get over that, because a new generation of people is coming.

I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it.

Artie Lange on Howard Stern

Mandy: Do you think that Crashing captures the changing culture in comedy at all?

Artie: Judd is so great at what he does, and so is Pete [Holmes]. The way Judd lets you improvise, and the money… see Ive never been involved in something that you might call a hit. Except the Stern show, but that was very different. Judd is so successful. The money HBO is spending. They shot it like a playyou dont have to do over-the-shoulder stuff. And the way that I talk and work, it was way better for me. Judd knew that. Like the scene in the pizzeria, Judd read my book, which was flattering, and he said, Just tell me stories about your life, about what can happen off-stage, so like the ghost of Christmas future. Comedy future. I think its great, because Judd lets us talk.

Mandy: I was relistening today to your very first Howard Stern appearance. And Stern is joking, saying, You need coke. Youre a lot better on it. He also says, Go out and get into more trouble, and well have you back on.

Artie: I know. But you cant blame anyone else for any of this. Howards genius is seeing which way the wind is blowing in society and acting accordingly. I think he noticed after the Janet Jackson thing, we started getting fined for stupid shit. Were getting $500,000 fines for jokes Im making about farting. The guy is a genius at marketing and comedymore so in marketing. I think he saw over time the way the show was going, and that it would not be conducive to have me on it. But he also knew that I was popular. I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it. I think he conquered that era of radio with me. I wouldnt fit in now at all. I cant stand Gwyneth Paltrow. The contrast between the old shows is crazy. Like if you listen to shows we did of us talking about Jennifer Aniston or Ellen DeGeneres dancing in the 2000s. He said Aniston was a cunt. Even I was like, Jesus, it must be personal. Now he goes to her wedding.

Mandy: So whats going on with your health? The diabetes has gotten really bad? Have you had to amputate anything?

Artie: God no. The rumors have gotten really bad, havent they? No, the diabetes is under control every time I go to the hospital. But the thing is, its a confusing disease. One day a Twinkie could save your life, and another day it could kill you. Im not a good preparer so thats why I was bad in school. I was like, Lets get the fuck out of here and get to life. Which comedy lets you do. But yeah, with diabetes, youre supposed to measure your blood sugar every time before you eat. Im like, What the fuck, are you kidding me? Im going to take my blood sugar in the parking lot of McDonalds? Its bad, but when I go to the hospital they get me under control. So now its under control. Its fine, actually. But you know, give me two months out of the hospital and my blood sugar is higher than my credit score. Thats the signifier of a loser. They also put me on the liver list. I needed a new liver. But I went to a medical clinic someone recommended, and they gave me this special shit they put in the saline, it cost like $80,000, and my liver enzymes were like 900, which is like Mickey Mantle at the end of his life. And it went to normal, completely normal. My kidneys, my liver are all fine. The doctor said, Youve got the bloodwork, despite the diabetes, of an Olympic athlete.

Mandy: Have you thought about going down to Hippocrates Health Institute, where a lot of entertainment industry people have gone?

Artie: I did that once. Yeah, my sister found out about it. You need a prescription for an apple. I ran away from that in 2008. Howard said, go away for as long as you need to. Eight days in with these two other guys who were Stern fans who would have done anything for me, we just escaped in the one guys car. I got a $3,500 room at the Setai in South Beach, and I got a hooker and a bunch of pancakes. And I called into the show and said I have whiskey and pancakes with this Ecuadorian hooker, and he put me on the air. So I left early from that, and I was out of control. And Howard didnt think I was going to die or anything. You know, Chris Rock came in once and said, Howard, I think youve got to fire Artie. I love him. But he needs consequences.

Mandy: I guess my take is, from observing you from afar, youve said, Im clean so many times, and that youre always somebody who is going to use.

Artie: People think that I want to be someone who uses. I dont. I mean, I remember in Little League when I didnt use anything, I was very happy. When I am emphatic about it, in my personal life, I dont lie to friends of mine. But I can think of a lot of reasons why you dont tell your boss youre doing heroin, and why I lied to Howard Stern. Theres also a misconception I hate that Howard didnt care about me. He tried to get me help. Several times he said to me, Take as long as you want, and when you come back you have a job.

Mandy: So do you think some of the drug abuse comes from massive, massive self-hatred? That was the case for me, I know, and many addicts.

Artie: Thats interesting. Listen, Bernie Brillstein was talking to Norm Macdonald and me once. Hes the legendary manager who managed [John] Belushi, and he managed Chris Farley. And he supposedly said to Belushi and Farleyits funny he had guilt that he said this to Belushi, and 20 years later he said it again to mehe said, Well, whatd you get into show business for? Not to fuck hookers and do drugs? I was brought up on Sam Kinison and Richard Pryor. With Richard Pryor, I wanted to do almost everything he did, short of burning himself. And thats a terrible thing to think, but I got the opportunity, and I made every mistake you could make. I was like, Why not? The first time we went to Las Vegas with Howard, I fucked 11 strippers in four days. We were like the Rolling Stones going in there. Two years on MadTV aint exactly the Rolling Stones. The stuff Ive done with Norm Im so proud of because it was Norm, but it was never like a big hit. Like Dirty Work has become a little bit of a cult thing, which Im proud of. But with the Stern show, this was like rock-star shit. We flew into Vegas on a private jet, and theres a line around the block, and its all for us. Howard is married. Fred is married. Everyones married, and then theres me. The strippers going down her list, and she says, I guess Ill fuck him.

Mandy: Do you still talk to Norm Macdonald?

Artie: We communicate with text, like everybody else. He put a very nice thing in his book about me. He called me the last time, and he said, you gotta stop doing this. He was worried about me. I love Norm. Norm saved my whole career. Out of nowhere. I was about to start driving a cab again. I got the call for Dirty Work, and that led to everything else. Norm. Howard. Quincy Jones, who gave me MadTV. And Judd now. These are famous guys. [Bruce] Springsteen called me. And Apatow said to me, he said, You must be a really bad addict going back to this shit after all these people, your heroes, saved you. Hes right. I mean, Quincy Jones saved my fucking life. He also got me these insane privileges in L.A. County. Like my own shower. And I asked Quincy, How do you have so much sway in prison? He said, I made Thriller.

Mandy: So why do you go back to the drugs after you get clean each time? Is it the boredom?

Artie: Its the anger. Ill give you an example. Its a story I kind of keep on the down-low, but there was this girl that I dated in San Diego. She worked at an agency as an assistant. She was 23. I was 28, and I was on MadTV. And she was pregnantshe got pregnant, found out it was a boy. I was all excited, and she was scared to death because of how I had been living. Me at that age makes this look like Mr. Rogers. So the first place we made out was Zuma Beach, and she said, Lets go to that place. I want to tell you something. Shes crying, and she says, I had an abortion. I was mad, and I said, Why? And she said, You know, Artie, youre going to make your mark in this business, but I hope you do it before you die. And I cant deal with that.

Mandy: So anger is often the cause of relapses for you? Anger at the world?

Artie: It is a strange world. Its like rereading the Unabomber Manifesto its kind of like, I get it now. I dont agree with how he went about it, but he was clearly on the money about technology. Or look at the movie Network. That one scene, he lays everything out about what is to come.

Mandy: When do you find out if youre going to jail?

Artie: Feb. 23. You know, if they want to send me away for being a junkie, thats fine. The judge was very fair. Very smart. I dont know if she was a big fan of mine, but thats all right.

Mandy: When do you think you were happiest in your life?

Artie: You know, its funny. When I was broke, when I left the port as a longshoreman, and I decided to drive into New York City one night, I was 19 years old. When I started doing well, I was driving a cab, I was broke, trying to help my mother out. We were about to lose the house. And I told her I could go back to the port. She said I could keep doing it. But you know, I was happier during the struggle because of hope. I was 23, broke, driving a cab, parking a cab in front of The Comic Strip, which was the first place I passed. I would have [Joe] Matarese or [Dave] Attell watch the car. I was happier then, I swear to God.

Mandy: Hollywood can be fairly crushing. So many transactional relationships and people who dont care if you live or die and want to use you.

Artie: At the Stern show, I saw how toxic that entire environment was. You have some people who are without talent who just leached onto Howard. Talentless guys whose entire life is based on pleasing that one person. I saw people who werent comedians who thought they could sit in that chair and do what I did. When I went down with the heroin thing, they were clearly making statements about it. Like if I died, they would have been almost happy about it, I guarantee it. I saw the sharks swimming like Ive never seen before. I thought I knew a lot about people in a non-naive way coming into that job, but man, the way people wanted what I did for a living. What pissed me off is that they thought they could do it. And you know, theres a reason that chair stayed empty. Im done being humble with some things. That chair isnt empty completely because Howard felt like it; that chair is empty because he knows no one can do what I did. There are people who are funnier than me, but theres no one who would have been as honest, and no one who knows that show better. I left a lot of blood on that fucking floor, man. I told stories that cost me relationships with some people, and I didnt realize it. I almost got arrested. The DEA came to the fucking show because of something I said on the air, in their fucking windbreakers, to grill me about Heath Ledger because they thought we had the same heroin dealer. Im like, Why the fuck do you think that? I guess theres reasons they could. There was a security guy who worked the door, and he saw the whole thing, and he said, Artie, you are one entertaining fuckup.

Mandy: What do you think of Donald Trump, who used to do the Howard Stern Show quite a bit?

Artie: I love Trump. Ive had like four times when I interacted with him. I roasted him. Trump said I was the best of the night, but then Howard is so smart, he told me to tell the joke that was making fun of him in business. I do, and then Trump goes, Artie was the worst of the roast. He bombed. I had a CNN guy call me about it, and I said, Im not doing it. Because Im fucking rooting for him. And I golfed with him and Eli Manning once at his club. I did nothing but laugh along with him. Then I saw him at Howards wedding. Howard had bought out Le Cirque. But it was still small. I had played Carnegie Hall at this point, but it was so nerve-wracking. Billy Joel and his wife were there, two feet from me. Howard. Trump and Melania. Barbara Walters, Joan Rivers, Chevy Chase. It was a tough room, you know. And I killed. The first joke was how much Beth looks like Christie Brinkley, so I made a Billy Joel joke. And thank God he laughed at it. But Howard was drunk, and doing that great Howard laugh. I loved making Howard laugh. But Trump came up to me afterward, because other people spoke and kind of bombed, and he shook my hand, and he said, That was a very hard thing to do, and you were amazing. He respected that even though I look like a slob he could tell I worked hard. Because, yeah, you think I walked into Stern because I won a lottery? So I always respected the guy.

Whether youre for him or not, what he represents is that this country can vote out politicians and elect a game show host because theyre pissed off about stuff. You know, there are two guys on that Billy Bush tape. One guy apologized. The other guy didnt. One guys working at a gift shop in Kennebunkport. The other guys president. The fucking country likes alpha males. The Midwest does, I know that. And the stuff with the Mexicans. He didnt say he hates all Mexicans. He told the truth about the drug problem. How do you think I get dope? Trump just doesnt give a shit. You know, Louis C.K. wrote an op-ed piece, while he was, jerking off next to women, calling Trump Hitler? And its like, Calm the fuck down. It washes down what Hitler did. A guy who let the Mob take away garbage because you have to? The naivete of these people. If you build a building in New York, you have to deal with the Mob. Trump knows that. Ted Cruz lost so many votes during the primaries when he attacked him on that.

Mandy: What do you think of the porn star Stormy Daniels and Trump? I guess he asked her to spank him with a copy of Forbes.

Artie: Well, I think Ive done worse. Comparing him to Harvey Weinstein? Thats a fetish. Listen, if Trump has raped someone, of course I hate his guts.

Mandy: So for you, what has the reaction been to your latest near-death experience? From everything that Ive read on Twitter and Reddit and YouTube, I feel like half the fans are saying, I dont want to watch him kill himself anymore, and like, Ive stopped believing him.

Artie: The fact that I havent got it yet is hard to understand. I think theyre disappointed in me. It was an easier sell at 30 than it was at 50.

Mandy: Whats the best sobriety advice youve received, do you think?

Artie: To not make my Higher Power my career or another human being because it can disappoint you.

Mandy: Do you believe in God? Do you pray?

Artie: You know, Ill give you something Ive never told anybody. So my father was obsessed with Houdini the magician, and Houdini was obsessed with the occult. Houdini always tried to contact the other side, like dead relatives. So Houdini said, If I die, lets have a word. If the psychic tells you the word, you know, we talk. So my father said, when he was lying in bed, he had the plan to kill himself, but I didnt know that. He said, Lets do that. I go, OK. His father, who I never knew, died when he was 11. He got shot in front of him. His father worked at a factory. The Otis Elevator Company in Newark. It was a bookie, I guess. But he said, Lets make it Otis.

So Im in rehab this latest time, several weeks ago. And Im in the van, which the hilarious security guards call The Druggie Buggie. Or The Loser Cruiser, thats what they call it in jail. So Ive just come out of the shit, with the withdrawal part, and I looked better, I guess. It was a beautiful day. Where I went in Connecticut, it was like a Christmas card, it was unbelievably beautiful. And I said, I feel better this time. I felt really good. The sky was clear. I was with people I like, and they both said out of nowhere, I think youre going to make it this time. And I said, I guess I gotta think like that. And I stretched over, and there was a car that said Otis on it. The elevator at the rehab that never broke, they said, when I told them the story, the Otis Elevator Company was repairing the elevator. Listen, I dont believe in any of that shit, but that is the most spiritual thing thats ever happened to me. I tell my mother that, and clearly shes religious, and she goes, Dads talking to you. Im telling you, that was fucking freaky. So you know, just at that moment, when I had hope and I looked up and it was a clear sky and it says Otis, I was just like, Jesus Christ.

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/artie-lange-is-not-ready-to-die-fck-em-all

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born2daddy-blog · 8 years ago

Text

Revelation

I spent a majority of my life walking a path riddled with lust, perversion, illness, wrath, envy, and pride. I’ve committed murder in my heart countless times and I have been less than loving towards others, only doing for them expecting in return, which is deplorable. It wasn’t until I came to the bitter end of myself disease laden, broken hearted, sick and tired of being sick and tired and having attempted suicide did I finally see the hand of God that was protecting me all that time. I couldn’t imagine it ever getting worse then it did, but God knows how much worse it could have been, and He only allows enough to get the best out of you. Jesus saved me, physically; a year would pass before He would save me spiritually. I spent that year rotting in misery and inner turmoil, wondering why I was spared: upset that I couldn’t take my life and frustrated that I had to go on-I saw no reason to. Then my sister came and ministered a word to me and I received Jesus Christ into my heart. Who I was, was dead and gone and who I really am was born. I’ve resolved to get as close to Jesus as possible; all I can say is, He sure is making my life worthwhile this time around. Despite my pitfalls, I know he has me this time. I can only pray that something similar if not better occurs for you. As I’ve come to know the Lord, He’s proven to be faithful, loving, considerate, strong, inspiring, honorable and fulfilling. And, I would like to share that with you.

May the Lord bless all those who read this. I speak salvation over those who come across the wisdom in this essay. May the scales be removed from your eyes and may they be anointed with eye salve. Lord, reveal the truth and forgive me if the delivery is off. Forgive and cleanse me Lord of any sins iniquities or secret faults. I bind and rebuke any spirits that rise up against this essay and release the Holy Spirit, In the name of Jesus Christ. May the Holy Spirit pick up the fumbles and move despite. You know my heart Lord, do your thing. Thank you for using me, and thank you for saving me. It is in Jesus’ precious Holy name I pray, Amen.

Sometimes, we ought to be like kamikazes in the spirit, as the Lord leads. You waltz in, imperfections and all, although covered by the blood of Christ, post-removal of mote in eye (The King James Bible, Luk. 6:42,) with encouraging force (Php. 1:14 & Joh. 7:38.) As sin begins to surface, and we repent, crucify the flesh and plea the blood of Jesus (Php. 2:12,) a sacrifice befitting the King of Kings (Psa. 51:17,) we are then charged to turn to our brother out of compassion and empathy: Ready, humble, initiating follow-through when down in the trenches and bold, courageous authority when He issues the directive. Upturning tables, exposing lies, seducing spirits and heretics (Joh. 2:15;) presenting the truth as revealed by the Word of God and the Holy Spirit (Joh. 16:13:) albeit through a spirit-war tattered vessel, with such humility it's painstaking and leaves you prostrated in the spirit, bare naked before the throne of God-Oh, what an honor (Psa. 51 & Rev. 3:19…) Where He deems appropriate, all in public so it not only serves as honest and forthright edification and exhortation but, where applicable, an open rebuke of unbelievers and the unlearned as well: truth-By the Sprit and love-By the fruit (1Co. 14:24-25, 1Pe. 3:8 & 1Co. 13:4-8.)

And, boy, do people get offended (Matt. 13:57.) It’s a spirit of a spoiled child, “you’re being mean,” children often retort and before long the infamous, “I hate you,” spews forth (Joh. 3:20.) A child may grow to resent the authority of their parents but they know they must conform for their own benefit; otherwise, they’ve taken a turn for the worse and are headed for self-destruction. I beseech you pray, then, go forth believing and receive! Any opportunity to manipulate to get their way, they’ll take it (Rom. 3:23,) because “…they know not what they do” (Luk. 23:34.) When all is said and done, the parent is still the one with the wisdom to protect that child, in our case our strength to endure comes from the Lord via the seven spirits of God (Php. 4:13 & Isa. 11:2,) and it comes with a responsibility to do the research (Act 17:11,) at the same time we are that child. Completely baffling.

It’s also pertinent to note that you must be consistently calm and collected-Walk in the spirit of Christ, otherwise you lose control of that child because you’ve become a luke-warm hypocrite-walking in a lie. Just like the Pharisees and Sadducees, they resorted to extreme measures out of fear and utter divisiveness. No one likes hypocrites for real, this coming from man. Because you’ve thrown all caution to the wind so will the child in kind. They understand the darkness because they like what they’re doing (Joh. 3:19-21.) That’s why it is very important to ask the Lord to perfect the fruit of the spirit within us (Gal. 5:22-23,) once baptized in the Holy Spirit with fire by the Word of God (Mat. 3:11-12, Rev. 3:18 & Isa. 48:10.) After all, Jesus being the leader that He is, demonstrated this calm, assertive control over His converts with flawless execution. So awesome!

We must be childlike, not childish (Mat. 18:3-4 & 1Co. 13:11.) We make Him a liar when we get all in a hissy fit when asked to forgo our desires for His, because He did everything He said He would do. Fulfilled all the prophecies and gave us the Holy Spirit as a comforter, knowing full well what it’s like to be tempted by everything known to man (Mat. 4 & Heb. 4:15.) He provided (Joh. 6:31, Exo. 16:4, Mat. 14:13-21,) He guided (Exo. 13:21-22,) He comforted (Joh. 20:11-16,) He clothed (Gen. 3:21,) He housed (Gen. 7:1-4.) He simply deserves the best, period. And, boy, will some of you get resentful , the Lord and I have been working that out the past couple of weeks, it really is a relationship, our earthly ones were just practice for the one we ought to hold with Christ, but WILL, will to obey and conform moment to moment, trial to trial, glory to glory, day by day by day to the image of Jesus Christ, doing that is the way to love Him back (Rom. 12:2.) Hallelujah! Amen! Praise the Lord!

Wake up (Rev 3:14-22,) stay in the race (Heb. 12:1-2,) put your armor on (Eph. 6:11-18,) and fight brothers and sisters (2Th. 4:7-8,) the enemy is prowling (1Pe. 5:8.) Akin to Paul Revere’s famous cry, sans the contempt for the arriving party pertaining to his quote: Jesus is coming, Jesus is coming (Rev. 3:10!) Don’t just look sharp, be even sharper (Rom. 12:1-2 & 2Ti. 2:15.)

It’s about getting back up: being empowered with a choice by the revealed truth inherent in the Word of God (Joh. 1:12.) It’s about the spirit of things, not merely the act but the flow of things and the fruit, or the effect it has on the souls of those around you-We’re curious and emulating creatures whether we want to admit it or not, look at the tabloids and TV shows then look at society (1Co. 8:9.) We’re scared to admit we haven’t the faintest idea sometimes how to do what we need to, so we look for an idol to trust in, false ones at that, because Jesus is the only way to endure to the end: be it an athlete, a movie character, an influential figurehead, false spirituality, traditions, and the list goes on and on (Exo. 32.)

What’s so ironic is that the wild animals have it together, they don’t worry about half the things we do and they naturally know how to employ synergy (Mat. 10:29-31.) Ants are fascinating creatures… Animals are even more obedient than we are, He just tells the fish to jump in the boat and they’re like, “To be eaten by our creator? Sure!” I’m quite certain the devils are laughing at us. We’re the only ones that seem to not get it, even they know what’s on the up and up, they were former angels after all (Mat. 8:28-34.) We, unfortunately, became corrupted by sin, but thank God for His redeeming, reconciliatory, restoring, sanctifying, purifying, and that list goes on too, work of Jesus Christ at the cross. It’s great to know, that He completely covered everything, He’s so thorough that way.

We are not here for ourselves, we’re here for others (Joh. 13:35.) We must be held accountable with our imbued authority and be responsible with our choices, actions, and speech-conforming to the image of the Almighty God as presented by the Bible and the Spirit of Revelation.

For those of you, who have not received Christ into your heart I encourage you to begin as soon as possible. There isn’t much time left on the clock, and He is indeed thorough, so trust that everyone will have a chance even if He has to send a tree to speak to a suffering girl in the middle of the Amazon, He can and He will. This is another opportunity for some, a first for others, to receive the gift of eternal life. We all know we have the ability to make choices; my job is to simply present to you a choice. You can choose to be separated from Jesus for all eternity in Hell or you can choose to be with Him. He absolutely will not accept our sinful selves as we stand, without His cleansing blood, in His presence. And He doesn’t deserve to compromise on that because He is perfection. Come as you are to Jesus now and He will make you presentable. Wipe your tears, set your broken bones, and dress your spiritual battle wounds. Besides, He loved us so much, knowing how the enemy defiled us, came down to earth wrapped himself in human flesh to walk among us and died on the cross in place of our sins, the only one to ever resurrect himself conquering death to prove to us He is God-Fulfilling prophecy once more. Jesus loves you and He’s waiting for you to want to love Him back, like a gentleman and commendable groom would. You are part of the bride of Christ, and this is the marriage proposal.

If you’ve already received him in your heart, and you’re stuck in a spiritual battle you think you can’t win. I encourage you to repent of any sin you’ve neglected to confess to and any sin unawares. Then ask the Lord to baptize you in the Holy Ghost with fire so you can be comforted during your walk with Christ. It really is a straight and narrow path and only few will make it. Pray for those who are struggling.

If you’ve received the Lord in your heart and have been baptized in the Holy Spirit with fire, I encourage you to set some time aside if you haven’t already and talk to Jesus, just you and Him, no interruptions, no cell phone, TV, dog, no distractions, just you the Bible and God. As you begin to read pay attention to the images that come to mind and write down any questions, He will answer them by various means, just keep them you’ll be surprised when he gives you the answer, half the time you forgot about the question, I had to learn that the hard way. If you have anything pressing stop and just tell Him, then pick up where you left off. Perhaps he’ll begin to tickle you like he has me. But everyone has their special thing. I will be praying that the Lord honors this and really does a mighty movement for you. Times are getting tougher and we all need to stick together. Pray for those who receive salvation as a result of reading this essay, Pray for those who are struggling with their faith and pray for the brethren undergoing persecution. Pray that the body of Christ gets hotter and hotter for Jesus. And most importantly, give glory to the Lord, Jesus Christ.

I encourage all of you to connect and fellowship with me, for prayer, testimony, encouragement, and an ear to listen, a friend. Lord willing, I will be ordering a case of Bibles for those who do not have and to pass out. May God bless you all and keep you.

A fellow unprofitable servant doing my duty in Christ

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dareread · 8 years ago

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A twentieth-century repetition of the mistakes of ancient Rome would be inexcusable.Rome was eight and a half centuries old when the poet, Juvenal, penned his famous tirade against his degenerate countrymen. About 100 A.D. he wrote: “Now that no one buys our votes, the public has long since cast off its cares; the people that once bestowed commands, consulships, legions and all else, now meddles no more and longs eagerly for just two things, bread and circuses.” (Carcopino, Daily Life in Roman Times [New Haven, Yale University Press, 1940], p. 202.) Forty years later, the Roman historian, Fronto, echoed the charge in more prosaic language: “The Roman people is absorbed by two things above all others, its food supplies and its shows.” (Ibid.)

Here was a once-proud people, whose government had been their servant, who had finally succumbed to the blandishments of clever political adventurers. They had gradually relinquished their sovereignty to government administrators to whom they had granted absolute powers, in return for food and entertainment. And the surprising thing about this insidious progression is that, at the time, few realized that they were witnessing the slow destruction of a people by a corruption that would eventually transmute a nation of self-reliant, courageous, sovereign individuals into a mob, dependent upon their government for the means of sustaining life.

There are no precise records that describe the feelings of those for whom the poet, Juvenal, felt such scorn. But using the clues we have, and judging by our own experience, we can make a good guess as to what the prevailing sentiments of the Roman populace were. If we were able to take a poll of public opinion of first and second century Rome, the overwhelming response would probably have been—“We never had it so good.” Those who lived on “public assistance” and in subsidized rent-free or low-rent dwellings would certainly have assured us that now, at last, they had “security.” Those in the rapidly expanding bureaucracy—one of the most efficient civil services the world has ever seen—would have told us that now government had a “conscience” and was using its vast resources to guarantee the “welfare” of all of its citizens; that the civil service gave them job security and retirement benefits; and that the best job was a government job! Progressive members of the business community would have said that business had never been so good, that the government was their largest customer, which assured them a dependable market, and that the government was inflating currency at about 2 per cent a year, which instilled confidence and gave everyone a sense of well-being and prosperity.

And no doubt the farmers were well pleased too. They supplied the grain, the pork and the olive oil, at or above parity prices, for the government’s doles.

The government had a continuous program of large-scale public works which were said to stimulate the economy, provide jobs and promote the general welfare, and which appealed to the national pride.

The high tax rates required by the subsidies discouraged the entrepreneur with risk capital which, in turn, favored the well-established, complacently prosperous businessman. It appears that there was no serious objection to this by any of the groups affected. An economic historian, writing of business conditions at this period, says, “The chief object of economic activity was to assure the individual, or his family, a placid and inactive life on a safe, if moderate, income . . . . There were no technical improvements in industry after the early part of the second century.” There was no incentive to venture. Inventions began to dry up because no one could reasonably expect to make a profit out of them.

Rome was sacked by Alaric and his Goths in 410 A.D. But long before the barbarian invasions, Rome was a hollow shell of the once noble Republic. Its real grandeur was gone and its people were demoralized. Most of the old forms and institutions remained. But a people whose horizons were limited by bread and circuses had destroyed the spirit while paying lip service to the letter of their once hallowed traditions.

The fall of Rome affords a pertinent illustration of the observation by the late President Lowell of Harvard University that “no society is ever murdered—it commits suicide.”

I do not imply that bread and circuses are evil things in themselves. Man needs material sustenance and he needs recreation. These needs are so basic that they come within the purview of every religion. In every religion there is a harvest festival of thanksgiving for good crops. And as for recreation, we need only recall that our word “holiday” was originally “holy day,” a day of religious observance. In fact, the circuses and games of old Rome were religious in origin. The evil was not in bread and circuses, per se, but in the willingness of the people to sell their rights as free men for full bellies and the excitement of the games which would serve to distract them from the other human hungers which bread and circuses can never appease. The moral decay of the people was not caused by the doles and the games. These merely provided a measure of their degradation. Things that were originally good had become perverted and, as Shakespeare reminds us, “Lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds.”

More than fifty years ago, the great historian of Rome, Theodore Mommsen, came to our country on a visit. At a reception in his honor, someone asked him, “Mr. Mommsen, what do you think of our country?” The great scholar replied, “With two thousand years of European experience before your eyes, you have repeated every one of Europe’s mistakes. I have no further interest in you.”

One wonders what Mommsen would say today in the light of the increasingly rapid destruction of our traditional values during the past 25 years.

Many of our people have been converted to the idea that liberty has been tried and found wanting, just as many believe that Christianity has been tried and found wanting. They do not know that what has been found wanting is not the true values of liberty and religion but only perversions, worthless counterfeits. So when we urge upon them those true values, they shy away. They have been fooled before, so they want to try something which they think is “new.”

How far have we departed from our traditional values? There is no mystery here. It is well known that the basic policies of the two major political parties with respect to the intrusion of the State into the economic and social lives of the people differ only in degree and method. There is no discernible difference in fundamental principle. Prominent political figures of both parties pay lip service to the letter of our Declaration of Independence and Constitution, while they violate the spirit.

The proponents of an all-powerful centralized government have erected a bureaucratic colossus which imposes upon our people controls, regimentation, punitive taxation and subsidies to pressure groups, thus paralleling the “organized mendicancy, subvention, bureaucracy and centralization” which played so great a part in the downfall of Rome!

We are demoralized by an indecent competition. Each one denounces government handouts and privileges for the other fellow—but maintains that his special privilege is for the “general welfare.” The slogan of many of us seems to be, “Beat the other fellow to the draw”—i.e., “draw out of the public treasury more than you put in, before someone else gets it.”

I am no prophet of inevitable doom. On the contrary, I am sounding an alarm that disaster lies ahead unless present danger signals are heeded.

What specific steps should we take? I believe that neither I nor anyone else, no matter how exalted his position, can determine for 165 million people their day-to-day economic and social decisions concerning such matters as wages, prices, production, associations and others. So I propose that these decisions, and the problems connected therewith, be returned to the people themselves. This could be done in four steps, as follows:

First—Let us stop this headlong rush toward collectivism. Let there be no more special privileges for employers, employees, farmers, businessmen or any other groups. This is the easiest step of all. We need only refrain from passing more socialistic laws.

Second— Let us undertake at once an orderly demobilization of many of the existing powers of government by the progressive repeal of those socialistic laws which we already have. This will be a very difficult step because every pressure group in the nation will fight to retain its subsidies, monopoly privileges and protection. But if freedom is to live, all special privileges must go.

Third—Of the powers that remain in government, let us return as many as possible to the states. For on the local level, the people will be able to apply more critical scrutiny to the acts of their government agents.

Fourth—Above all, let us resolve that never again will we yield to the seduction of the government panderer who comes among us offering “bread and circuses,” paid for with our own money, in return for our sovereign rights!

Admiral Ben Moreell (1892 – 1978) was the chief of the U.S. Navy’s Bureau of Yards and Docks and of the Civil Engineer Corps. Best known to the American public as the Father of the Navy’s Seabees, Moreell’s life spanned eight decades, two world wars, a great depression and the evolution of the United States as a superpower. He was a distinguished Naval Officer, a brilliant engineer, an industrial giant and articulate national spokesman.

#history #ben moreell #navy seabees #rome #collectivism #liberty #government

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bloodfromtherock-blog · 8 years ago

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DONALD TRUMP TAKES OFFICE. THE TWILIGHT ZONE, INDEED.

Daniel Hutchens January 20, 2017

Donald Trump takes office today under a cloud of corruption and dread unlike anything in modern American political history. He has his staunch supporters, of course. But there are a popular majority of + 3 million who voted against him, most of both the Republican and Democratic party elected officials, the entire US Intelligence community, plus many leaders of other governments around the world, who find Trump’s victory suspicious. They question if the man is unfit for leadership, and see him as a downright ominous character stepping onto the world stage.

As I wrote once: “What we have here, folks, is a shyster slimeball who slithered into national politics through the cracks in a fractured Republican party. No one even knows who the Republican party is these days, or what they stand for, but their extremist right wing fanatical fringes (including, of course, the racist elements among them) were driven into a rabid frenzy by the Obama administration, and spent eight long years spewing illogical hatred that laid the groundwork for the candidacy of an emotionally immature and politically inept ‘celebrity’ like Trump.”

That much is true, but it’s only part of the picture. There were also plenty of smart, upstanding citizens out there who were wooed by Trump, largely out of sheer disgust with gridlock partisan politics. Trump was right when he said the system is broken, and right when he said a large part of our population felt voiceless and forgotten by Washington politicians, Democrat and Republican alike. What’s sad is, those honorable, working-class voters are now––as Trump backpedals on campaign “promises”, and reveals his cabinet of billionaires and inside power-mongers––very likely about to receive the reaming of a generation.

And there’s no dispute Trump’s campaign also catered to the very worst in our society. He built his candidacy on the brain dead “birther” bullshit, and only admitted it was untrue when the facts started hindering his campaign. His speeches were littered with insults and innuendos, thinly veiled racism, utter disrespect for women and non-Christian religions, nasty remarks about Gold Star parents, the outrageous mocking of a disabled reporter, boasts about the size of his penis, and all sorts of vulgarities previously unthinkable for a Presidential candidate. He was endorsed by the KKK and the America Nazi Party. He “disavowed” those endorsements in only the most casual and noncommittal ways.

But according to our system of voting, Trump was elected President. There’s no changing that now, and it’s important our country maintain its methods of peaceful transfer of power. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be looking long and hard at the ways in which this election was tainted, beyond any doubt at this point, particularly by the Russian hacking.

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When Rep. John Lewis recently said he doesn’t see Trump as a “legitimate” president, this of course upset Trump, who can’t stand any form of criticism, from anyone, ever. There is question whether not being “legitimate” at this point is the proper terminology.

But the rest of Lewis’ statement, the thrust of his meaning, is completely beyond argument: “I think the Russians participated in helping this man get elected. And they helped destroy the candidacy of Hillary Clinton.”

Trump’s tweeted response to Lewis was typically juvenile and ridiculous, and included this little gem: “All talk, talk, talk––no action or results.”

This one falls into the realm of, “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” For Donald Trump to accuse Civil Rights icon John Lewis of being “talk––no action” is arrogant and stupid beyond belief. Back in the ‘60s, Lewis, of course, risked his life repeatedly in Civil Right marches, got his head cracked open on the Edmund Pettus Bridge, coordinated and encouraged many committees and events in the name of Equal Rights and human dignity––all textbook examples of the definition of “action.”

Meanwhile back in those days, Trump was rich-guy-buying deferments from the Vietnam draft, and a few years later, getting sued by the Department of Justice for housing discrimination scandals, in which he and his father misrepresented and refused housing to blacks.

And all the years since, Lewis has a commendable record of public service and 30 years serving in the US Congress. Meanwhile, Trump put on a reality TV show, starred on WWE wrestling, and was guilty of numerous scams on the public, such as the Trump University fiasco.

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But let’s get back to the Russian hacking…’cause that’s a fact, Jack. Even Trump was forced to admit it, after receiving direct briefing from Intelligence. He continues to insist the Russian interference didn’t change the outcome of the election––hard to prove––but there’s no longer any denying the Russians attempted to get Trump elected.

(Of course he had denied Russian involvement previously, for no good reason, with no evidence at all. Much like back when he said he knows more about ISIS than our generals. He expects the public to take whatever he says as reality, despite all facts to the contrary. Sadly, some members of the public do just that. But Trump’s adversarial stance toward American Intelligence is troubling. Former George W. Bush speechwriter Michael Gerson said, “Trump’s blanket attack on the intelligence community…is an insanely dangerous antic that materially undermines American security…dangerous beyond belief.”)

Former CIA chief Leon Panetta said, “Think about that. Donald Trump, who wants to be president of the United States, is asking one of our adversaries to engage in hacking or intelligence efforts against the United States of America to affect an election.”

Another former CIA chief, Michael Morell, said that in terms of national security, "We would say that Mr. Putin had recruited Mr. Trump as an unwitting agent of the Russian Federation.”

All corners of American Intelligence are saying things like this: "Russia’s hacks were aimed at helping Trump”…“Russia’s hacking was intended to influence the election in favor of Trump.” …“This was a conscious effort by a nation state to attempt to achieve a specific effect.”…“There is substantial evidence that Russian President Vladimir Putin himself authorized the cyberattack.”…On and on and on.

The only question is, was Trump aware of or involved with the Russian interference? That remains to be seen. Trump denies this, of course, but suspicious links continue to trickle out. Donald Trump Jr. has commented about massive Trump business connections in Russia. Trump’s campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, managed investments for a Russian aluminum business with close ties to Putin. Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, who Trump considered for Vice President, has strong ties to Russia and was seated next to Putin at a dinner in 2015. The weird allegations of a video involving Trump and some Russian hookers…etc. etc. None of these are damning evidence at the moment, but they certainly seem strange coincidences.

Meanwhile, back here at home, Trump has struggled with other scandals as his presidency approached. He’s been accused by 15 different women of sexual harassment and assault. (These claims, though unproven, gain credibility due to Trump’s infamous “grab ‘em by the pussy” tape, wherein he brags about sexual assault.) There are also ongoing suits regarding fraud, racketeering, discrimination, defamation…I believe the count is 75 in all. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but the sheer number of these charges against an incoming American president is unparalleled, and an embarrassing burden for our nation to bear.

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During the presidential campaign, many of my friends assured me they were confident Hillary Clinton was going to win the election. Some of those friends supported Clinton, others Trump. But the money seemed to be on Clinton to prevail…the polls seemed to point that way too. And those friends of mine, who assured me Hillary had this thing wrapped up, are all much smarter than I’ll ever be.

But still, somehow, I didn’t buy it. Just a weird, unholy gut feeling…I flinched at the absurd idea of a reality TV star Commander in Chief…but I felt it coming. I mean, I didn’t bet the ranch on it or anything…but I just felt an ill wind blowing, carrying the odor of some stagnant and poisonous swamp…the night of the election, long before the outcome was mathematically locked in, I got sick to my stomach, clicked off the TV, and went to bed. 2016 was a malicious, ugly, idiotic bitch of a year, for me personally (death of my Mom, just for starters), for many of my friends too, for the world of Music, on and on…and a Trump victory was the perverse capper…but as usual, I fear I digress.

Anyway, the question now is, where do we go from here? Nobody really seems to know. Trump has already pissed off China and Germany for no good reason, just ‘cause he felt like running his mouth. He also badmouthed NATO and the E.U.

R. Nicholas Burns, former senior State Department official and ambassador to NATO, who has served presidents of both parties, says this about Trump’s ideas regarding Europe: “To say that NATO is obsolete, openly support the disintegration of the E.U. …is a fundamental break with 70 years of American policy and strategic thought supported by Republicans from Eisenhower to now…NATO is the great power differential between the United States and Russia.”

IMAGINE THAT. Yep. The whole world is subject to Trump’s insults and contempt, his tweeted tantrums. The only exception being…you guessed it, folks…Russia, and Trump’s beloved Vladimir Putin. Who has “taken authoritarianism to a whole new level,” according to Human Rights Watch. (Between the influence of Putin, VP Mike Pence, Bannon and Sessions et al, our LGBT community has every right to be downright scared about the future. In fact, so does every American who’s not extremely white, and extremely rich. But that’s the brave new world in which we find ourselves. The Twilight Zone, indeed.)

So…my gut feeling about the election was dead-on correct. Do I sincerely and desperately hope my gut feeling about the new administration turns out to be completely wrong? Do I hope to look back after four years and think, “I couldn’t have been more off base”? Yes, yes, yes. God, yes.

But what my gut is yelling at me today is, “Brace yourself ‘cause here it comes. President Putin and his creepy lil ventriloquist’s dummy, Donny.”

#TwilightZone #trump #JohnLewis #CollusionWithRussia

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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

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Artie Lange Is Not Ready to Die: F*ck Em All

Its hard being friends with the notoriously demon-plagued comedian Artie Langewhich, full disclosure, I am. This is in no way objective. I truly want the guy to live.

Sixty-nine days later, I heard the news, like anyone else who follows Lange: that he was near death after stabbing himself in the stomach nine times with a 13-inch kitchen knife.

Less than a month later, on Jan. 12, Lange returned home to New York and tweeted out to his 364,000 followers: Im back guys. Clean & Sober 32 days.

Artie Lange doesnt want to die… right?

The following interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Artie: Well half of my nose is gone. My nose has no septum. I mean Ive been snorting coke and heroin

Mandy: When was the last time you did coke or heroin?

Mandy: Whats the longest youve ever been clean?

Artie: Since I was 15, 11 months. And two weeks in my twenties.

Mandy: Do you take, what is it, methadone?

Aziz Im sorry is a better name. I dont have any respect for Aziz Ansari. Im glad nobody got raped.

Artie Lange

Mandy: You detoxed cold turkey in jail this last time?

Mandy: If you do fall off the wagon again, are you scared of fentanyl at all?

Artie: No. A real heroin addict is not scared of fentanyl. Id do it in a heartbeat. I want strong shit.

Mandy: Have you seen the tiny amount it takes to kill you?

Mandy: So I mean… you must want to die.

Artie: No, I dont want to die. I want to be high.

Mandy: But that will eventually kill you.

Artie: Im 50. If you would have told me in 1995, if you tried to bring up 2018, it would be like The Jetsons. Id be like, What are you talking about?

Mandy: So youre having fun on borrowed time.

Artie: Im playing with the houses money. As far as Im concerned, Im an overachiever. A lot of money changed hands on the internet when I turned 50. I was so happy. Fuck em all.

Mandy: But I mean… your mom and your sister. Theyre the main people who keep you from wanting to to be reckless with the houses money, right?

Artie: Yes thats the… thats the worst.

Mandy: I called your mom when you were practically in a coma these last few weeks, and her voice was just so heartbroken. I dont think she thought you were going to make it.

youtube

Mandy: Your mom discovered you when you tried to kill yourself in 2010, right?

Mandy: Does your mom talk to you every day?

Mandy: You seem to still get offered drugs a lot. I think about that scene in Crashing where its the super hot woman from Showgirls who has coke and wants to do it with you.

Artie: Gina Gershon? Yeah, you know, that episode is based on one of my stories. And if the woman who inspired the episode figures it out, shed be very happy with the casting.

Mandy: Do you think it was a good idea to leave rehab early?

Mandy: Youre just working so much right now.

Mandy: And Im guessing, from what you said, you dont want to leave your mom with nothing. So what about a gig like the one with Anthony Cumia. Is that enabling or is that helping you stay clean?

Mandy: Anthony probably does a better Howard impression than Howard at this point.

Mandy: Metaphorically.

Mandy: Who are the people from the Stern show you keep in touch with?

Mandy: You tweeted a few days ago, Look out Marci. Im talking to Howard without your permission, referring to his high-profile handler Marci Turk. Did you actually talk to Howard Stern?

Artie: No, I dont talk to Howard. We hate each others guts. He cant stand me for some reason, and Ive learned to hate him.

Mandy: Whats your reaction to Louis C.K.? And now everyones talking about the story that was written about Aziz Ansari.

Mandy: Have you had any women approach you with any kind of Me Too moment, something they wanted to confront you about?

I think he was trying to figure out a way to get rid of me. I did the job for him, but I dont think he was rooting for it.

Artie Lange on Howard Stern

Mandy: Do you think that Crashing captures the changing culture in comedy at all?

Mandy: So whats going on with your health? The diabetes has gotten really bad? Have you had to amputate anything?

Mandy: Have you thought about going down to Hippocrates Health Institute, where a lot of entertainment industry people have gone?

Mandy: I guess my take is, from observing you from afar, youve said, Im clean so many times, and that youre always somebody who is going to use.

Mandy: So do you think some of the drug abuse comes from massive, massive self-hatred? That was the case for me, I know, and many addicts.

Mandy: Do you still talk to Norm Macdonald?

Mandy: So why do you go back to the drugs after you get clean each time? Is it the boredom?

Mandy: So anger is often the cause of relapses for you? Anger at the world?

Mandy: When do you find out if youre going to jail?

Artie: Feb. 23. You know, if they want to send me away for being a junkie, thats fine. The judge was very fair. Very smart. I dont know if she was a big fan of mine, but thats all right.

Mandy: When do you think you were happiest in your life?

Mandy: Hollywood can be fairly crushing. So many transactional relationships and people who dont care if you live or die and want to use you.

Mandy: What do you think of Donald Trump, who used to do the Howard Stern Show quite a bit?

Mandy: What do you think of the porn star Stormy Daniels and Trump? I guess he asked her to spank him with a copy of Forbes.

Artie: Well, I think Ive done worse. Comparing him to Harvey Weinstein? Thats a fetish. Listen, if Trump has raped someone, of course I hate his guts.

Artie: The fact that I havent got it yet is hard to understand. I think theyre disappointed in me. It was an easier sell at 30 than it was at 50.

Mandy: Whats the best sobriety advice youve received, do you think?

Artie: To not make my Higher Power my career or another human being because it can disappoint you.

Mandy: Do you believe in God? Do you pray?

Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/artie-lange-is-not-ready-to-die-fck-em-all

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