#but the glasses do infact be rose tinted

[portalgunslinger]

thinking too far ahead maybe. after the events of the main story, cas, avis and lun retire from mercenary work to live more peaceful slow lives (and run from the authorities) Nik often worked with them but now since theyre gone they team up with an incredibly lost and traumatized Satin to show her the ropes. unfortunately nikolai has zero comforting skills whatsoever so 90% of the time theyre either bickering or awkwardly sitting in silence. i feel like after a while satin would begin to open up to him and they could bond over movies :3

[dietcokebitch777]

Cut toxicity out of your life.

Yes, I know as daunting as it seems a slow, quiet life is better than one were you constantly feel pressured to be part of a group of people. Cut them out. You heard me. All of those people who seem to drain your energy, make those picky comments about your person, exclude you from group events. Leave them.

Literally as someone who only has three close friends (who I CHOSE out of my big friend group) yes, my life has become quiet, but I can actually do all the things I want to do. By cutting out all the toxicity you're able to appreciate little moments but most importantly find your true self. It's appreciating those little moments and also finding beauty in little things. Suddenly without those rose tinted glasses, the rain no longer seems gloomy, dead flowers actually become appealing and oddly enough you start to appreciate others around you better. Quietness is the root to empathy. It is a lifestyle. A way to find your TRUE self. A version of you where you are not performing.

Girl, or whoever reads this, they do not deserve you. Think of yourself as a prize, your circle, people you actually desire and not for the stupid concept of social status. Trust me, people will infact like you MORE once you leave behind all of those vampires that suck out your beautiful personality. To separate toxicity you must (the most important step) slowly and safely cut out those you don't want in your circle. Don't just randomly go quiet around them. That's weird. Instead create this mask or new personality around them, and distance yourself, find new friends and leave. That way there will literally be no drama. Okay and next, if the spark dies between you, cut them off. I don't care if they're a close friend or a lover. You need to realise that they do not serve you an emotional purpose anymore. It's okay for friendships to go stale, this is life, so what I've learnt is to just let them be. It's okay, people are ment to come and go. Think of them as building your character but now the river has went dry and that's okay, this happens naturally on earth as well. Cut out toxicity because no matter what your mind tells you, you deserve a nice life.

[feastingonfanfiction]

Waiting on the red string of fate

Alt route ending 2 [chapter 3c]

Tanya Denali x fem!reader

Chapter 3c: Sprouting roots, into hearts, arguments, and it's all torn apart

Summary: You have to just let all this bottled up pain out, but some things take a turn for the worst

IMPORTANT NOTE:ending 3C is essentially just an alt ending to the events in 3B, so I started it at the point where Tanya learns that she is infact the cause of the hanahaki, Read 3B (probably the happiest ending) before 3C(the alt angst route) I guess or not(i cant control what you read), but it won't make much sense at the start off point.

A/N: Welcome back. If you've read the other servings of this particular fanfiction i write, this one will be sort of shorter considering I started at a midpoint within 3b. Am I fully satisfied with the end? Nope! But dwelling on it too much will just tear me apart

Anyways, here is your serving of sad.

Bon Appétit and Happy readings!

Check out other parts on the:

Masterlist menu

Or

Part 3b (the actual happy ending)

WARNINGS: THIS IS NOT A HAPPY ENDING, I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A HAPPY ENDING. The usual warnings hanahaki has its own set of warnings(choking on flowers petals, blood etc) character death is here, maybe some gruesome, not quite gorey but not pleasant descriptions

She? Was the cause of your hanahaki? Tanya didn't want to believe it. She was the cause of your pain...

You have to understand she loves you

And she's not saying that just because she knows hanahaki goes away with reciprocated love.

Her face shows hurt to think you could think that. She moves to declare that she does, in fact, love you

But all you can do is laugh at that, not even looking at her, "You love me? You love me?" A chuckle escapes

"Oh, that's rich coming from you, but ok, say I entertain the idea that you actually have feelings for me? What do you expect from me? Hmm? Cause you've already shattered my rose tinted glasses on the idea of love even before we met and I dont know if I can ever really believe you" you say at the absurd idea of giving your heart away fully, believing now that it'll be torn apart if given.

"And - and what about the guy you were with, what about him? What was he to you?"

"He meant nothing to me, he means nothing to me, even now, I-" she tries to say, but you cut her off

"I SAW YOU, I WAS THERE! IT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE NOTHING AND..."

you try to scream, it came out more hoarse than you intended. Part of you just wanted all of this to go away, the other part could feel the waves of sorrow and sensations of betrayal flaring up from the memory of the first time you saw her, your head was spinning as your emotions took over, some parts irrational jealousy some parts despair. The hurt in your chest felt like a jab of pain that you assume was just your emotions.

"...and I can't trust your words." it comes out as a mere whisper, but Tanya heard it, and she could feel her unbeating heartbreaking at it...

"So what was he? If he meant "nothing" to you, does that mean I'll mean nothing to you, too? Heck, you could still be lying to me -"

"BUT IM NOT," she tries to defend herself. She's not lying, but you clearly don't trust her, and she's not sure what she can say to fix this.

"And how do I know that, for all I know you could still be with him" "but-" "NO LET ME SAY WHAT I HAVE TO SAY" you yell at her interruption, rage was building as you gave in to you emotions.

Tanya silences at that thinking maybe you just need to let it all out.

"Am I just a rebound to you? Or some kind of conquest? Heck, you're probably here just to play with my emotions....get to know me, make me love you only to turn around and stomp on my heart again"

"NO! Please listen I-" she intejects abruptly there's no way she can let you think that but you won't have it.

"I don't have to listen to ANYTHING you have to say! I don't even know you! I don't get why you even came here! You don't have to pretend to want to be here, I know your game, so just give up and just leave me alone!"

Tanya tries to figure out what she can say to make you know she's not like that, she does want you, but in her state of contemplation of what to say she misses out on what sounds like some-thing growing inside you and what sounds like something breaking.

Your chest was hurting, like there was something digging into your sternum.

Your head spinning as you gripped your chest as then you feel a jab of pain in your heart. You panic, scared of what it could be, maybe it was just another coughing fit coming along, if it was you didn't want her here to pity...or mock you.

"Just- just get out, leave me alone... you did it for all of my life. I don't see why you should be around for what's left of it," you say weakly.

Those words definitely hurt. Tanya doesn't know what to say besides wanting to just say no, she can't find the words that'll plead her case to you, but then you rush past her not giving her the chance as you stumble quickly into a room and slamming the door shut, locking it.

She turns to look at where you went, hesitant to follow, but deciding to follow and stand outside, she can hear your accelerated heartbeat....the conversation must've added a lot of stress...

You feel flowers growing again when you decided you had to get to the bathroom, your heartbeat way too fast. You didn't know the hanahaki was getting so much worse throughout that conversation...

You didn't know something had happened inside you, how would you have known? you couldn't see inside yourself. You wouldn't have known the roots of the hanahaki had taken a detour going just slightly left. Some had wrapped around your lungs, but where these roots were headed? They had pierced and dug into your sternum and ribs and then slowly found their way to wrap around your heart, squeezing it. Crushing it.

All you could feel in your chest was pain. The edges of your vision was blurring as you tried to get yourself to throw up to stop the pain. Your heart hurt, everything hut as you tried and choked on petals, blood pooling in your mouth,then finally the darkness calls for you as all of it stops as it takes you.

Tanya can't help but fight against breaking down the door versus giving you space. She can't help but worry at your alarming heart rate. Your coughing and breathing is also getting worse, but what makes her want to break off the handle and bust open the door is the sound of something that sounds like breaking and something growing that sounds like it's piercing flesh.

She fights it until something happens, and she suddenly can't take it anymore as she breaks down the door.

What finally made her snap was the fact that everything suddenly stopped, your heart beat, the coughing, everything, and then a thump on the other side.

So here Tanya was, covered in woodchips in a broken doorway to a bathroom. The lighting dim as she sees you there having fallen curled up on your side on the floor littered with bloody petals. Panic grips her as she sees the blood leaking from your mouth and the small pool of blood collecting underneath you. She lifts you into her arms. Your eyes were barely open, but what essence of spirit that lived within those eyes were gone.

Tanya was full-on panicking now. You couldn't die, not now, not before she could clear up this whole misunderstanding. Your body was still warm, but your heart had stopped. Maybe it wasn't too late she hoped as she pulled you close, whispering an apology, and sunk her teeth into your neck. One side then the other, hoping with enough venom it could bring you back. It's got to, she only just found you, you can't leave her yet, not before she has the chance to know you.

She lifts your body out of the bathroom, hopeful that it'll work and brings you to what she thinks is your room.

She's very concerned at the lack of heartbeat, more fearful that it won't work.

She places you on the bed, very worried at the blood that seeped onto her when she carried you. It was all over her arms. She then notices your chest, where your shirt was covering it was stained crimson with blood seeping and spreading pooling into a larger point.

Fear takes her as she hopes if you do wake up that you don't mind, but she slowly unbuttons your shirt to reveal your chest, and directly where the pooling stain on your chest was, there plant roots were sprouting out.

She didnt know how to react, there the hanahaki roots were digging through you, she looks a little to your left, just the area above where your heart should be and there roots also sprouted outwards like plants breaking through the winter snow but here the routes where sprouting out of your paling skin covered in blood.

What does this mean? Was there so much internal damage that the venom might not take hold? Were you.....she dare not say it, but she had to wonder was it too late? Should she have broken the door down when she had the chance?

She couldn't stop the what ifs, she had to know something. Your heart didn't restart, and you weren't breathing, and the roots were protruding from your skin like worms breaking out of the earth.

She then considers calling Carlisle. Perhaps he can help her? Pulling out her cellphone, she calls, wondering where they might be, and surprisingly, they're not too far a drive from where you are. Explaining the situation, Carlisle was kind enough to lend his assistance to see if there's any possibility that you could be saved.

Tanya gently changes you out of your clothes and into something not bloodstained, wrapping a blanket around you and then picking you up bridal style she then makes for the car, driving off in a rush probably breaking the speed limit, she does not care. She has to know if you'll come back to her.

Arriving at the hospital, Carlisle meets her part way outside, taking you from Tanya's arms they move quickly, wanting this to be done under secrecy.

He does a chest x-ray, whilst Tanya waits for this agony to end.

Eventually placed in an unused room, she waits there holding your hand, hoping she wasn't too late

Carlisle comes back eventually with the results of the chest Xray, placing them up on a box along a wall that lights up the image better. What Tanya sees scares her.

There was your ribcage, your heart, your lungs.

But the roots, the roots, and stems were prominently entwined between the spaces of your ribcage. Your sternum was fractured from the roots digging into multiple places. Your lungs were completely wrapped around by the roots and your heart.....your heart was fully wrapped by the roots in a crushing manner

Squeezed in the middle, as well as areas along your heart that seemed to display what happened to your chest, roots bursting out from your heart....

Carlisle looks over to Tanya with pity, "I'm not certain but with the extent of damage I don't think.....I'm sorry Tanya but I don't think that the venom will be able to save her...."

If Tanya could cry, she would have done so long ago, she wished she could, but all she felt was the vampire venom pooling in her eyes.

Tanya takes you back home after that, back to your home. Placing you on the bed, she stays by your side, uncertain what to do now....you might likely be truly gone....

Part of her wants to hope that she wasn't too late, but the X-ray was some damning evidence. Giving it one last shot, she decides to wait for the supposed day you would've woken up if you are turned, she can't lose hope, she just can't...

Leaving you in your room, she goes about cleaning your slightly dusty home, cleaning up the bathroom, and the door she broke. She basks in the feeling that this home was yours. Eventually, she stumbles across the shoe box, your soulmate letters still inside with the last one you wrote on top.

Going from the state of the letters, she reads through them to learn about who you were, wanting to cry at the type of person she accidentally hurt. She felt a little worse at the letter you wrote about the night you saw her, something clearly broke in you that day. Within the next letter, though, it was like something changed, and you accepted your fate, thinking she would never come find you.

By the final letter, it didn't seem like you hated her. It felt more like you were giving up and accepting the hanahaki...

She felt hopeful at the tone of the letter, hopeful maybe that you would wake up and it'll all be OK. You would wake up, and you two would be able to work through this.

The final day of when you were supposed to awake arrived, and she waited 24 hours

But once that time passed, something in her dimmed, she then waited a little more... you can't be gone, but still as time passed more parts of her hope broke off as part of her broke too, as your beautiful eyes she only looked into the first time a few days before would not open and look at her, and then finally the last embers of hope smothered out.

You were truly gone...

You were gone, and she was left alone deemed by the fates to live this life alone.

[leticiasilva]

Diary 31.10.23

The version I created for him is the one I care for. But the real version of him was the one who made me fall for.

But do I like him that much?

Do I care about him that much?

Today his hands lightly touched other hands.

I never wished to be someone else in my entire life except for today.

Why a beautiful girl is so horribly jealous? Isn't it pitiful? shameful?

Today was a horrible day, full of myself. My empty self. And my eyes were satisfied just to see the sight of him. The glasses, the red lighted jacked, the drizzle behind his back while he laughed.

Today I felt like he was looking at me with like I was a ghost, or something vaguely intriguing. It was embarrassing, and he was cute. But infact I think I've been watching him with rose-tinted glasses.

And then in this moments I think with myself: I think I don't like him.

But then I remember the last year: the kind smile, the things he said, how he act, the way he respects people...

[succulentdegenerate]

Mad

she saw the world with rose tinted glasses the red flags on the horizon only looked slighty more vibrant while she felt the thorns dig into her temples poison pumping into her hatred in her veins now the rose tinted glasses only seemed more red

tongue numbed with nasty words but never leaves her head why is it when she looks at people she only wants them dead the world is sadistic warm and animalistic only animals have the dicipline to follow their instinct

evil isn't born only formed and made but why is it when we rub our thumbs we do it for our selfish gain money and pride death and life words that mean nothing in our sick and twisted game

I used to want to hurt now I want to hurt all those people that turned my world into a blody ruined mess I see the evil in people I see beyond the flesh The frenzic power of biting into flesh

people are disgusting people are rotten there seems to be a truth I've unwillingly forgotten

violence comes from hate the gluttonous need for power So maybe instead of turning bitter I should take a boiling shower

you hear them talking in your mind leaves you falling behind so before you're far to gone yell in their ear "LEAVE ME ALONE!" I don't deserve bullies like you telling me what to do so LEAVE ME ALONE

I will kick and scream leave you whimpering hear you begging me "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"That's what you get for being a social shark," that's what you get for leaving me in the dark didn't like me from the start, but decieved me anyway because self-reflection brings you pain I don't subscribe to your ways

You don't know the amount of times I cried every night not being near my friends but where was the invite had to invite myself had to ask for help where you ever at all my friends?

Yes, I'm angry, still and I will die on this hill You trampled on my respect I will trample on yours You weren't even happy, so what was I good for?

sometimes I wish you were dead Not taking back what you said even though I never heard those words at all People like you makes my skin crawl

The bare minimum: that you respect instead of being invested you just infected me with your self-loathing, heavy, boiling poison CONGRATS: I'M ON YOUR FUCKING LEVEL NOW MEDAL TO YOU INFACT A FUCKING MEDAL TO EVRYONE YOUR PHENOMENAL ACTING SKILLS DESERVES A FUCKING REWARD

I'm really angry now more than ever before