#but the event happened at barely 1000 words

[pink0lamby]

MORE DISCORD SHENANIGANS!!!!!

[vodika-vibes]

CONGRATS ON 500!!

Long time lurker, I am here every morning around work, and have reread most of your fics at least 3 times. Your writing is amazing!

Okay I'll stop gushing 🙈

For the follower event, I was thinking Kix, Emerald, and late night.

Thank you, and congrats again!! 😊

I'll Wait Forever

Summary: When an emergency makes Kix late to pick you up for your date he’s incredibly apologetic. What he doesn’t know, and what you need him to understand, is that you’d wait forever for him.

Pairing: Post-Stasis Kix x F!Reader

Word Count: 830

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Thank you for your nice comment! I'm so glad that you like my stories enough to come back to them! I hope this is close to what you wanted, you didn't specify, so I chose to go with Post-Stasis Kix rather than TCW era Kix. Both are swoon-worthy. My goal is to keep all of these under 1000 words. I wonder how I'll do, lol.

The fall of the Empire, and the rise of the New Republic, has made you a very wealthy person. Wealthy enough that you, and a group of your friends, were able to repurpose a Lucrehulk Class droid control ship into something a little more useful. 

As of now, and with the permission of the New Republic, the ship is home to over two million displaced individuals (many of Alderaanian descent), it’s also home to a massive shopping center, and is the home point for this sector's Bounty Hunters Guild.

It is a point of some pride, yes.

And, at this point, it basically runs itself. Which means that you only have to do a little bit of work to make sure it stays running smoothly. Which, for you, means that you have to play nice with the politicians in the New Republic.

But that only happens every so often.

Which means you’re able to focus on more important things.

Like writing your novel…and spending time with your boyfriend.

Both are very important to you, though you’re not ashamed to admit that Kix, your boyfriend, is far more important to you than anything else that you own. Including the ship that you currently call home.

He travels a lot, and you don’t mind, because in the end he always comes back to you. 

Speaking of said boyfriend, he said that he was going to take you on a date tonight.

You tilt your head back to catch a glimpse of the chrono on the wall, and you release a sigh, though there’s a smile on your face. It is well past closing time for all but the seediest of restaurants, which means no going out tonight.

Ah well. Such is life.

You flick your gaze back to the first draft of your novel, and you make sure to save your work before you set it to the side.

Time to make dinner, and if you’re lucky, Kix will join you for dinner. 

You meander into your kitchen and you put some water on the stove for the pasta, before you dig around your pantry. Might as well make a proper meal.

You’re about to put the pasta in the boiling water when the door to your suite slides open. Absently you pour the whole box into the water, before leaning back to look into the main part of your suite, and a bright smile crosses your face.

Kix is gorgeous. 

Tall and broad, with thick curly hair and an equally thick beard. The tattoo under his hair just barely peeks out at his temple.

You’d quite happily follow him into hell, if he asked.

Not that he ever would.

“Welcome home,” You chirp from the kitchen, “I started pasta for dinner, do you want cheesy bread or garlic. I have both because I have no self control when it comes to bread. It’s a problem.” You check the water and then leave your posting in the kitchen to walk over to him. 

He sets his helmet on the table next to the door, and then casts his gaze to you, something akin to guilt crosses his face when he takes you in, “I’m late.”

“I don’t mind.”

“You got all dressed up for me.” Kix says, his lips turning down.

“I got dressed up for myself. The fact that you also appreciate it is just a bonus.” You grin at him, and slide into his arms, your arms twining around his neck, “Now. Garlic bread or cheesy bread. This is a super important decision, Kix.”

His arms tightens around your hips, “I’m sorry, love.”

“It’s just bread, Kix. It’s not really that important. I can make both.”

He laughs softly, but there’s something almost broken in his voice, “I’m sorry for missing our date. Again.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not. It’s really, really not. You deserve better than…this.” He vaguely gestures to himself.

“I don’t want better. I want you.”

“Even though I neglect you?”

You slide your hands to his face, and you lightly brush your fingers under his eyes, “Hold on there, mister. You don’t neglect me. I have never once felt neglected.”

He tilts your head back, “How can you say that?”

“Kix,” You grin at him, “You still don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

You stand on your toes to brush your lips against his, “I’d wait forever for you. You’re worth it. I’d follow you into hell if you asked.”

He exhales sharply, his breath washing across your face, “I love you.”

You beam at him, “I know, I’m very lovable.”

Kix arches a single brow, and he moves his fingers to your sides, lightly tickling you, pulling a startled giggle from your lips, “Is that all you have to say?” He asks, a smile playing on his lips now.

You hop into his arms, his arms sliding securely around your waist to support you, as you kiss him deeply, “I love you too. Always. Forever.”

[georgiapeach30513]

Now Jen…I LOVE your blog and your posts but I respectfully disagree about your Steve comments. Again, I use the word respectfully, because I don’t want you or your other followers to take it too seriously. But I think it needs to be said.

First of all, Bucky fans love to make virtually everything about him, especially when it comes to Steve. Please do not at me, Bucky fans never want to admit this but some of you even bleed onto the actors and like to make things about SS when it’s about CE. Think about it. Why do these two people always get compared?? Maybe because it’s a bunch of Steve Bucky fans who can’t get over it and don’t want to. And then it becomes competition and Bucky/SS fans need to make it a sticking point into virtually everything and I’m TIRED. CE fans tend to get upset because they keep having to defend Chris doing random movies instead of doing or following what Sebastian is doing and I think some of them are tired too. Or maybe I’m just projecting.

Steve in the movies did everything for this guy and he also does everything for everyone else. But the moment he does something for himself WW3 happens. I’ll agree that the ending for his arc should have been different because the endgame storyline left too many questions and as a Steve fan I find it extremely annoying. But Why is it his duty to be his friend’s butt buddy forever and always? How come Bucky fans can’t ever seem to let go? And they’re fine when Steve world revolves around him but when they have to deal with Steve being his own person and thinking about his own life for once it’s verboten. I don’t think Bucky is perfect in the slightest and mostly he annoyed me 10 fold in the falcon show. But I will allow it since he has been through a lot, he’s allowed to be grumpy. I don’t expect him to live his life for Steve and tbh I also think he should have gone back in time and relive his own life differently. But that’s a different story and clearly about whose marvel contract is still active and whose is expired.

But Steve needs to be a ray of sunshine that doesn’t do anything except exist for his friend 24/7? Also…why are we getting this “he left him for a person who aided in bucky’s demise?” How did Peggy do that? Why, once again, is it not about Steve and Peggy, but about Bucky and dumping it on Steve and Peggy???

Even now salty bucky fans make their dislike about endgame and MCU about Steve not being around for Bucky, even though the storyline literally was just writing Chris out of it. If it was in reverse and Bucky went back in time I’d 1000% bet none of you would be crying about it. You would say, good for him he deserves to lives his life over. But Steve deserves just as much if not more, he has had no life of his own and was barely existing even in his own movies, as…oh yeah, even marvel was making his story about other people, so no I don’t agree with this constant needing to be mad at Steve over Bucky, when you could just admit that you want it to be about Bucky always and Steve second.

That being said…that is just my opinion. Your opinion is valid as it is your blog. You are my favorite blogger on here but this is one thing I can’t stay silent on.

I love conversations like this, so NEVER apologize. I think the beauty with cinematic universes are we get to know the characters a bit more. And every character is going to resonate with different people in a different way. So let’s get into this, and of course I respect your take, but let me explain a bit more where I’m coming from.

I am aware that we Bucky fans love to make him the main event. As do Steve fans do that, and Loki fans do that. And I do think that there are some people who go bleed the lines of reality with fiction. Obviously when I joke around about Sebastian and Chris I do not think that they are romantic at all. I do think that Chris and Seb equally are aware that the other is attractive. And everyone knows that I am a big hater of people comparing Chris to Seb. I don’t like it. These are two different actors who have both carved out their careers very differently, and for them. Sebastian has always shown that he wanted awards, and is looking at acting as an art form, while I think Chris enjoys what he does, but maybe doesn’t center his whole life around it. As far as the random movie, Seb has done random shitty movies as well. I am not going to dive into why Chris has chosen the movies he does, because I’m not Chris.

There is a big reason why I hate time traveling movies, and honestly, this is a prime example of one of them. I’m also aware that Chris’ contract was up, so they thought they would be clever with his ending. I actually think it was a cop out, personally. It’s not just for the Bucky aspect but for the Sam aspect. Maybe Steve being a white man didn’t understand the weight he put on Sam’s shoulders. I don’t think Steve understood Sam’s position as a black man, and I think that reigns true with most white folk, including myself. I will never understand the injustices that POCs feel, I can be empathetic, but I am aware of the privilege the color of my skin has. Again, Steve’s ending left so much to be desired. And then if you think about it, Steve knew that Peggy died having a full life, and he still selfishly went back. Furthermore, he went back, and stopped the life Peggy would have had. So therefore it alters the future/present. Again, I hate time traveling movies for this reason. I think at the end of the day it was the finality of the decision, but also I feel so many people weren’t given closure with it. That includes fans, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and all the other Avengers.

I personally do not think that Steve needs to live his life for his friends. But this was the life he was given, he should have moved forward, instead of going backwards, but again, Chris’ contract ended, I get it. It was lazy writing. As far as Peggy aiding in Bucky’s demise, who was the one who allowed Zola to live? Who allowed Zola to not just live but work for SHIELD? Peggy Carter AND Howard Stark. What did Zola do? He rebuilt Hydra. What did Hydra do? They tortured Bucky. Remember when Steve learned all of this? Learned what Zola did, and who allowed Zola to live? How he built Hydra to be more powerful than ever? They created the ultimate weapon, The Winter Soldier. Bucky was no longer human to them.

I can’t speak for everyone else, but had the roles been reversed, I would still be irritated. Again, lazy writing. In my ending, Steve had his dance with Peggy, but he returned. I actually wish that Steve made a bargain with Red Skull, a soul for a soul, and he retrieved Natasha. He got his dance, and he said his goodbye, but he came back to the time he was supposed to be in. Take Bucky and Sam out of the equation. Steve still should have stayed in the present even if those two characters died. He rewrote Peggy’s history, and therefore the present. Don’t get me started on Marvel making his story about others, Civil War still irritates me. That was just a lower scale Avengers movie, and we deserved better. I enjoy the movie, just not as a Cap movie.

Now as to the last comment, I jokingly say I can’t ever look at Steve the same. I actually choose to believe my ending for him over what happened. I don’t want him to constantly live to serve Bucky. I want Steve to have his time to grow into Steve. Oddly enough, Steve is also my number 8 Chris character. I don’t think I resonated with him as much as Bucky, and I can admit that this is why I put Bucky on a pedestal. It’s funny that the two best friends had very similar and yet very different lives. I wish that Marvel would have dove into that more. I would love to see a piece where it explores both Steve and Bucky’s mental health. We got a bit of that with TFATWS, but not enough, and without Steve. I guess I love the Cap trio so much, including Sam, I selfishly want more and more of all three.

Again, I love these conversations. And I think all your statements are valid.

[ghosts-of-love]

My thoughts about the Captain (and especially the scenes in episode 5) under the cut. Not spoiler-free, obviously. it's also...over 1000 words

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the way his story was handled. I’ve never been a Havers girlie and to an extent I’m still not, for reasons I would probably have to explain in a different post. I’ve always known the Captain loved Havers, but I will admit that I did always think it was quite one-sided and, given what we were shown in Redding Weddy, I had previously thought that the Captain didn’t know he loved Havers until after his death.

I didn’t mind being proven wrong about that. There was always the chance that we would be given more information about the Captain’s life that would make me rethink things. I suppose I would now see Redding Weddy less as the Captain realising his feelings for Havers too late, and more him coming to terms with it on another level. Or even just realising that you don’t have to bury everything, some emotions and memories can be brought to the forefront and considered in a healthy way.

I still didn’t get the impression that they were ever together. I think there’s a whole depth to the relationship that we were never privy to. A lot unsaid between them and the audience but also between each other. More could always be revealed in the Ghosts Book that’s coming out soon though.

There could have been mutual feelings and love and even an actual romantic relationship there but I personally believe that the raw desperation in the Captain fighting his way into the event shows that they were not in contact (eg. writing letters to each other) in the way that two people in a secret relationship might have been.

I think that they were something that ‘could have been’. They were each other’s ‘what ifs’. If it weren’t war time, if Havers (sorry, Anthony) hadn’t gone to the front, if it weren’t quite literally illegal.

Or maybe it wasn’t even mutual. I find it hard to parse Havers’ expression. His ‘I know’ isn’t even an agreement or a confession, so much as it is an acknowledgment that he understands the Captain’s feelings, even if they’re not reciprocated.

And the Captain says ‘I had to find you’. It was a desire to know he’s alive. To know he survived. He may as well have said “I had to see you in the flesh”.

I don’t think they were together back then. I think they could have both wanted to be. I think they could have ended up together in the future if the Captain hadn’t died. If he had just waited and found a way to reach out to him a different way.

I didn’t have any problems with any of that bit actually. I thought it was beautifully acted by Ben – I could feel everything so deeply. The panic of it all. The desperation. The deep yearning to get closer to Havers, however possible.

My one gripe (which is perhaps becoming less of a gripe as time passes, but might resurface when I rewatch) was actually with what happened afterwards – the apparent lack of reaction to the story by the ghosts. Or at least, the lack of time dedicated to their reactions. He didn’t say the words aloud, and neither did they.

I flip-flop between being annoyed and thinking it works, somehow. I suppose we get to fill in the gaps ourselves – there’s no, ‘he wouldn’t have said it like that’ arguments because we don’t know what he said, we just know the bare bones of what he revealed.

And they all knew anyway.

I enjoyed (you get what I mean) the mirroring of of his stuttering in season 4 ‘I – I -’. Maybe there wasn’t anything to merit sharing with the group then because he lost his nerve but also because he knew they all knew, even if he couldn’t say it aloud. And with Havers – he can’t get the words out. That doesn’t matter. Havers knew too.

It would have been disappointing to me if they’d joked or said ‘we knew’. It would have detracted from the importance, I think. I would have felt the same if they’d fumbled around to say something he didn’t actually need to hear. For example. I don’t think he actually needed anyone to tell him that ‘it’s okay to be gay’. He’s known this for years by this point, since Sam and Claire’s wedding.

But what did he need to hear?

The man who survived the war but saw no action, who sneaked into a ‘decorated officer’s only’ celebration, who crawled through a window, who stole someone’s medals – just to find, not even necessarily talk to the man he loves – the man who died of a heart attack after the war was won.

He needed to hear that he’s brave. And that’s what he’s told, and by Fanny no less (I don’t have the power to unpack all of the meanings behind that; their friendship, her previous attitudes, her husband). I don’t think anything else they could have said would have sat right with me. Considering it was a group setting, I think it was done under the right conditions – i.e. he wasn’t put on the spot like in season 4, he made the decision to say something himself, he didn’t want to move on still regretting, still believing he wasn’t brave, still thinking he’d done something terrible. I think them telling him he was brave – and all being in agreement, all letting him get his story out with no interruptions too, unlike with Thomas, Kitty, Humphrey talking about their deaths/Kitty’s ball – demonstrated a level of attention and respect they don’t normally give to each other too.

I just wish there had been a bit more. Just something. But I can’t even figure out what it is that I wanted them to say in addition, that’s the funny thing!

I suppose I had also hoped that Alison might be there when he finally admitted something about his life/sexuality. She was the one who introduced him to the idea that homosexuality is legal now and specifically welcome in Button House, after all. I think he deserved to feel that she was proud of him. But maybe she was the one who gave him the strength in season 4 to know he wanted to wait until he was ready.

But also, the knowledge that Ben has had this planned in his head from the beginning comforts me, as does the fact that he has always tried to handle the Captain’s story/arc with respect and dignity (as much as these ghosts are ever given, you know?).

Those are my thoughts, slightly untangled but still not exactly coherent. I’d love to hear what you all think too!

[ihavenolife346]

You have to let me go

Nikki Sixx x f!reader

Summary: After Y/N, Nikki’s girlfriend passed form an overdose. He turned to heavier drugs. Drugs that made him see her…

Warning: Drug use and character death and hallucinations

1 year ago

"𝖡𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗇𝖾𝗐𝗌, 𝖸/𝖭 𝖸/𝖫/𝖭, 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝖭𝗂𝗄𝗄𝗂 𝖲𝗂𝗑𝗑 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖽𝗂𝖾𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝖺𝗇 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝖽𝗈𝗌𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗇𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍."

Even though the house was screaming with people, even though Nikki was almost completely wasted, even if he could barely understand anything right now…he still heard the news report.

He could have sworn he had heard the name wrong, he could have sworn he didn’t hear the name of 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭, the girl he knew he would marry one day. He knew it couldn’t have been her…yet when he pushed his way through the crowd and into the living room, he saw her…her picture, her name, everything was correct. His Y/N was dead, dead from an overdose that he got her addicted to. If he didn’t get her addicted to cocaine, this wouldn’t of happened.

___________________________

Vince, Mick, and Tommy all remembered that night like it was yesterday. One second they were all partying together, the next minute Nikki was screaming at everyone to get out. At that time they had no idea what made Nikki kick out everyone…that was until they walked I to the living room to find a sobbing man. All four of them were sober within a second. When Vince, Mick, and Tommy looked at the TV, they knew exactly what made Nikki like this. Y/N was dead. The girl all four of them grew to love…she was gone. They all were talking so long to process the event, they hadn’t even payed attention to the breakdown Nikki was having.

Ever since that day all of them changed. Mick, he seemed to be the most ok out of all of them. But he wasn’t. With him being a few years older than everyone else in the group, he never thought he’d have to live life without the girl he considered to be like his little sister. He always thought he’d be long gone before her. But he knew how to keep to himself and keep his heartbreak to himself.

Vince, he was never particularly close with the girl. But he still liked being friends with her. He loved when she would come to the studio, she’d always brighter up the place. Get everyone to laugh, help them come up with words to new songs, she just made everyone happier.

Then there was Tommy…he had been best friends with the girl since grade school. He was there for her first dance recital, she was there for his first ever football game. They were inseparable from the moment Y/N came up to “the new kid” and asked him to play, Tommy’s very first day at the new elementary school. Tommy’s first ever friend. When he found out she was dead…he lost his shit. She was one of the only things keeping him from doing the same thing that she did…he was struggling.

And finally Nikki…after everything he went though, Y/N was his grounding. He blamed himself for her death, he introduced her to the drug, he was the one who was responsible for getting her a dealer, he blamed himself. The girl who was with him through think and thin. The girl who no matter how many times he pushed her away, she still stayed by his side. He swore to himself that one day he was gonna marry her. She was his reason to try and stop his addiction. Hell, she was even trying to get better. But…it didn’t work out. And Nikki was destroyed because of it. He wasn’t sure how he would love without the girl. He started pushing himself away from everyone in the world. Well everyone expect the girl he loved now. A girl with the name of Heroin.

___________________________

1 year after Y/N’s death

Everything was a mess…the band was almost split. Vince killed Razzle, Mick was drinking more, Tommy was lost, and Nikki…poor, poor, Nikki. Over the past couple months he’s been shooting Herion. $1000 a day. Has been for the past 9 months. He was completely lost without her. His Y/N…still had all her stuff in their house, still dreamed of what it would be like if she was still her. Herion helped him with that. Herion let him see her, let him talk to her, let him touch her and hold her. Herion was his answer to everything. So everyday, right around 3:45, he’d go into his closet, get out his stash and shoot up. He’d keep doing it just to be able to see her again. And here he was, on a Friday night, almost passed out in his closet.

“Baby, come on. Open your eyes.” Nikki heard the sweet voice he loved so much. “Come on. baby. You can do it.” Y/N’s voice purred, crouching in front of him.

“Hi baby.” Nikki opened his eyes, a smile on his face, even though he knew she was just a figure of his imagination. “I missed you.” Nikki reached out to the imagination of the girl.

“Nikki.” Y/N’s figure sighed, leaning away from him.

“What’s wrong baby? Is everything ok?” Nikki had a lazy smile on his face, happy to see the girl.

“You have to stop this. You have to stop doing this.” Y/N had tears forming.

“W-what?” Nikki asked, already knowing when she was talking about.

“You have to let me go. You have to stop doing this to yourself.” Y/N pushed herself away from the dying boy.

“Y-Y/N. What are you talking about? You’re here, and I’m fine.” Nikki pushed himself up and off from against the wall.

“Baby…you aren’t fine. Your killing yourself by doing this. You have to stop. And you have to let me go.” Y/N couldn’t dare to look him in the eye.

“I’m fine. I’m still walking aren’t I?” Nikki jinxed himself, having to lean on the wall so he wouldn’t lose balance.

“You have to let me go.” Y/N repeated, finally looking him right in the eye.

“You have to let me, let you go…” Nikki mumbled to himself.

“I need you to do that for me. I need you to let me go. I need you to stop doing this to yourself.” Y/N cupped his face in her smaller hands.

“B-but i won’t see you again…” Nikki felt himself start to tear up.

“You’ll see me again someday. But that day is going to be a long time form now. But you’ll see me again. Y/N choked on her words. “I promise you, you’ll see me again. But right now I need you to get in bed. When you wake up you’ll be fine. And you need to get the help that’s needed.” Y/N lead the man over to his bed, gently getting him settled.

“I love you…” Nikki held onto the girls hand just a bit longer than needed, accepting the fact that he needed help, even if he never got to see her again.

“I love you too Nikki.” Y/N squeezed his hand, kissing his forehead. “Sleep well baby.” Was the last thing Nikki heard before his eyes shut and was passed out for the rest of the night.

___________________________

When Nikki woke up the next morning, he knew what he had to get help, he knew he had to let her go, accept that she was dead. She was gone, and he finally knew it, for the time she’s been dead, she was just a figure of his imagination, what he wanted to see. And he needed help because of it. But that’s not what he did. He got up, got some coffee, and went right back to his closet.

He shot up again…

[xxsycamore]

@hypnossses asked for 😏 + Chevalier! Hope you enjoy and thank you! <3

[😏] 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚌𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔-𝚞𝚙 𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝙲𝚑𝚎𝚟����𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚛。。。

CHEVALIER

"It's imported by Ruby. You know where Ruby is, don't you, simpleton?"

Sitting in the Foreign affairs faction's office, your desire to be helpful once again puts you under Chevalier's stern gaze as he explains the details of the trading deal behind certain imported goods. Ruby... Ruby is... you know where it is, vaguely...

You open your mouth to make a brave guess, barely dodging the eye daggers Chevalier throws your way before your lips even more to form a word, seemingly able to smell your doubt.

Think fast! What would Leon do when cornered in such situation? What about Yves? Nokto? Jin?"

Jin?! It's true that the man has some notable wits in himself, but your mind immediately goes to some tactics of his that are... rather unfit for this here.

Oh well. You're ending up getting unalived scolded anyway, what's the worst that can happen?

"I fear I don't know quite where Ruby is, Prince Chevalier... maybe you can get me a map? Because I got lost into your eyes."

...

...

"Out of my sight then. We'll make sure you never get lost again."

∎ For You, My Valentine‼️ - xxsycamore’s 1000 followers celebration party | 💌 event masterlist

[polyamorouspunk]

sleepover friday *vent warning*

im so fucking annoyed at myself i just submitted an essay for my degree and it went so fucking badly

its over 1000 words under the word count and its barely referenced, i was pretty much going off of my base knowledge for a bunch of the information i put in it because i ran out of time to research

even though i had OVER 2 MONTHS to write 4000 words which is *plenty of time* if id actually begun working on more than just a plan before this week

i even had a 3 week break over easter but i did absolutely fuck all the entire time

the worst part it i was soooo excited about this project the entire time, the topic is really interesting to me and i really wanted to do well, i just *couldnt* actually get myself to work on it

and on top of that ive skipped most of the content for my other modules this semester mostly because i couldnt be bothered to get out of bed for the scheduled stuff and then didnt see the point in doing the reading for the thing i wasnt going to

i feel like at this point i should probably just drop out because i obviously cant handle this but i really want to keep going, i need to finish this degree

i keep telling myself "next time ill start earlier", "next time ill do the reading" but i never fucking learn

sorry for just kind of yelling at you about my problems, i just needed to get it out, ill probably feel (slightly) better after ive slept and eaten something other than snacks <2

a few good things did happen this week as well though, i went to see The Maine last night (bought the tickets back in autumn and decided to go anyway regardless of how little of my essay was finished) and a few days ago i did a scavenger hunt type event with my rock society (the music) where my friend did not break his feet (confirmed by doctor) (challenge was highest jump, he jumped off a wall) and another friend ate a pringle covered in dish soap and a lot of salt (challenge was eat the grossest thing) (last time they did this someone ate out of one of the bins along the street)

That sounds like a lot of fun! I’m glad you have a group of people with shared interests like that doing fun things!

There’s nothing wrong with being burnt out from school work/life. I myself dropped out of my last class I need to graduate and STILL I haven’t even checked to make sure that I did drop out.

I’m just going to try again next year because it’s okay that this isn’t my year for it.

[kyrodo]

This is a year 3 rant. This is trauma. This is what happens when people go out of their way to ruin someone's life. The axe forgets but the tree very much remembers. Even the lowest point in my entire life can't beat your crime and I find that hilarious.

Me and Red barely get by. Too often Red is stressed because he's either out of the job or in a very stressful one. A combination of car expenses and retail therapy often has me covering rent or lending 800+ a month to cover Red's side of things. And the more money Red makes like when he was supervisor for a while, it somehow doesn't change anything. I still have to cover 500-1000 per month over top of what few expenses I pay attention to. Red could make a million a month and would somehow still require me to cover him because unlike me where gaming is my main ambition financially, Red has an endless amount of things he wants and spending makes him happy. Which is not a healthy habit.

With both of us working and in the 20/hr ranges, it is more manageable now than it used to be. But we're always struggling. Red gets less and less social, we go on furry related trips way less than we used to, which is currently none at all unless it's vrchat. Red slowly succumbs to depression and for a while until I met Choskey was definitely bringing me down with him. If we meet more people like bittfish and zen and Choskey and whoever else. Or possibly even people like Azuki, the more likely we'll be able to get a room with people and cut down the costs of such trips and also have people to actually hang out at the con with, which matters much more than what attractions or events the con has to offer. And it becomes a viable activity we could start doing again.

What makes me happy isn't spending and sometimes even gaming by myself isn't fun. What makes me happy is being in those kinds of social environments having a good time with people and making memories with them.

I'm not for everyone. I'm not the best at making conversation, I don't like being teased that much, I tend to be pretty stiff. I make up for it by making noises and trying to be cute or finding ongoing antics with people. I'm also not a great handyman and even when it comes to technology my knowledge is limited and specific. I don't watch sports, I don't read news, I often hear about things through other people so I'm usually the one being told about things and not the one telling them. I don't like being forced to react to something in any kind of expected or pre planned out way.

I'm not as useful as Red. Frankly I don't know what it is I bring other than how many ways I find to express affection with words and animal noises. But Red finds value in it, and Choskey finds value in it. I'm not for everyone. But if it's any wonder, I did find where I do fit.

I make honest assessments of myself, especially in the present where I'm not trying to be as extra. I make honest assessments of other people. I'll say things every now and then, poke at stereotypes like too much testosterone out of spite, but I don't honestly believe that. It is a way to get someone triggered. And as far as accurately evaluating people goes, I do it more and more over the years. Because you wouldn't. Because painting a clear picture was something you actively avoided. And the only one left to say anything about it is me.

I am aware how different I sound in text than irl. Especially when I am expressing intense emotions. But ultimately I try to make sense. I try to be coherent, I keep as many details as unambiguous as I possibly can except when I'm emphasizing a point. And that is my specialty. Understanding people. Figuring out why they do what they do that might not be obvious at a glance. It is partially something I learned while trying to read between the lines too hard, but it also helps me calm down. It helps me feel relaxed when I can see more than just what's on the surface. It helps me avoid reacting to things at a glance, and things go by more smoothly than they would otherwise.

I was forced to do this by someone who would not stop being extra when it came to communication. But I have adapted it to my needs. When me and Choskey talk I tend to be very intuitive, often making conclusions before he has to say it himself and they are spot on more often than not. And that seems to make it comfortable to talk to me as well about most things. I've matured incredibly well in many countless ways. I'm certainly not head voicing characters when I type anymore. When my own seems to do it just fine. Choskey loves my voice so much that he gets off to it so, needless to say I don't see much reason to sound like anything else anymore. I found confidence in myself because of Choskey. Because of all the people on vrchat that love my cat noises. My noises are no longer just a private thing only Red can ever witness.

And I find reasons to be happy about being me. About being Kyrodo. My cute noises, the art, the avatar, my ability to play games most people would not spend the time to train like adofai. Being loved by two people, one of them for way longer than most couples last. Having a lazy job that allows me to focus on play over work. Being able to make friends so easily in vrchat and discord. My art by Hyrika being liked by so many people. I keep finding more and more reasons to be happy to be alive. And I feel special. And I no longer feel alone. I'm never alone anymore. Choskey always sees to that and I love him for it. While I used to dread having to spend a day to myself without having Choskey to play with, it's not as necessary now. I haven't had enough time to do things like get through and explore the skills and crafting options of 7 days to die. Or play Valheim because we're constantly doing something so often. And it used to be that I had way too much time to myself. I'm having the opposite issue now and it's not a bad problem to have. This is exactly the kind of social life I wanted.

And this wouldn't have been possible if I had simply resolved myself to live the same shut away life the ever increasingly introverted Red seems to want now. I've needed this for a very long time. I just didn't know where to look or how to get Red to be okay with it. You were a desperate chance at something I didn't have any other options for at the time. And that is the only reason I even paid attention to you. I don't always understand what makes me feel connected to someone, but you were the biggest stretch I've ever made when it comes to romantic interests.

Lawrence it's definitely the femboy and sylveon thing. Enternode I liked before I developed the crush on Lawrence and she/they are a Sylveon. She was curious about my rants when we were mutuals for a bit and she was such a massive contrast to Ronnie that she seemed like a good follow crush to help me heal. Vera, Vera's a wolf and a Blackheart and that's pretty much it. Choskey we both ran around in the same avatars and kept playing Dive To Blue in mmd. Kay, the camping memories and being connected to the mountains. Red the boyscout stories, programming mentoring, introducing me to the furry fandom. Kara Redwall roleplaying and chatting, and she was very wholesome and cheerful. Paige she would invite me to her lunch group whenever she saw me sitting alone. Shadetail was just flirty. Ron the only thing I can think of is subtextual nonsense. That is pretty much the only thing he had going for him and nothing to follow up on it. Specifically nothing, no matter how hard I tried to believe otherwise. And I guess pyramid head reminded me of Marcus who's close friends with me and Red, so naturally I thought Ron would also get along with us.

Unfortunately content and personality are two separate things. And yeah, it's not the greatest that so many people have found their way into my heart for one reason or another. For Kay she used to complain a lot about how lonely she was after Mew broke up with her and Mew played a similar role to me in making vocal noises that I used wonder if I could be a good fit for her. Sometimes something as small as that is enough for me to like someone. The moment I start thinking about if another person would think about me, then I get curious about it and I start to develop feel for them. Or when they are very nice to me or spend a lot of time with me. I wish I was a bit less fickle cause it means I would get hurt less, but with Red and Choskey in my life right now it doesn't seem like I'll have to worry about that again for a while. No one else really spends enough time with us for me to take interest in them.

Also I'm less likely to make all kinds of remarks or assumptions about someone I haven't met. Over anticipating someone's "fangs" because of the kinds of stuff they watch or what they're going through for instance. I was intimidated or scared given the kind of soft perspective Red usually has of me. I made a lot of wrong moves. And if we did get to a point we could start talking normally I felt like ultimately none of it would matter but we didn't get there because I didn't care enough about the first impressions I was making.

Gynosexual I think accurately describes me. I like femboys a lot. Lawrence in particular but Mew was kinda girly and it... definitely has an appeal, and in some ways it's also wholesome and cute. And I grew up with Shadetail being one of my heroes and shadetail is male to female trans. If anything Red is the least likely person for me to be into when looking strictly at sexual appeal. He has a nice face but beyond that everything else is memories, good repor, and everything he's done for me like being a social hub in our early life and bringing me into the furry realm which I highly enjoy. He also knows so many things and he loves teaching me random things. So it's not really much of a physical attraction kind of thing but he was a good choice for a wholesome lasting relationship regardless. Which unfortunately leaves me wanting areas he doesn't quite cover. Given the overwhelming majority of the people I fell for are trans or female and I tend to enjoy art in that direction as well a lot, I definitely think I'm gynosexual. Choskey is not girly or at least will actively deny it, even though he likes being pink and pretty. And I acknowledge that. But I do like that side of him even if he won't identify with it. I do like being a cat, and cats are often associated with the trans community as well. Autism as well which I still don't claim to fully understand or understand where I stand with it, but cat boys are definitely a plus for me, so long as they aren't a prick. I like the programming socks aesthetic way too much, even low quality art of it tends to look pretty nice. Or harnesses, or maid outfits. The whole cat cafe thing. Some of it might be glue from liking Ronnie into Enternode then into Lawrence. But it is extremely appealing. Especially since I'm naturally skinny so if I were to have the clothing for it I'd probably look okay in it. But yeah I guess that is my thing now. And my avatar looks so good. Being pretty while not necessarily being 100% male or female. I like it a lot and everyone finds it cute. I recognize not everything will ever be reasonably covered by a one or two person relationship but this is good enough.

But to double back on Ron maybe that's another reason I kinda started off saying you were a bit out of my usual as far as people I would typically fall for. I don't understand our dynamic beyond the subtext. I have my preference for black orange and blue and that's about it. I didn't get to know you enough to see whether or not you are toxically masculine but your music is definitely out of my range. I'm too soft for you and you are too edgy for me. My edgy parts with blackheart fire etc tends to be pretty short-lived, and only around when I want to feel intense emotions, which are usually negative ones. And that was great back then when I wanted to be angry because of what I was going through. It's not so great now. And I do tend to lean towards things like Ori's soundtrack which is in sharp contrast. Even when I'm mad the only screamo I listened to was Bastard by Oomph! or I Could Care Less by Devildriver. And pretty much nothing else. So it is so different and difficult for me to appreciate that kind of music the same way as someone who enjoys it on a regular basis even when they're having a good day. I like girlier music so to speak, and I say that knowing full well what Vera is like. But that's what my ear prefers. That's what theme I prefer. It relaxes me, it's feelgood, and it seems so well put together and beautiful. So the dynamic with Ron at that point is what? It requires a certain appreciation for chaos and things that sound skin crawly or disturbing that appeals to one audience while turning off another. It's as polarizing as liking or not liking pickles. There is no middle ground really. You either like it or you don't, and if you don't chances are you're never really going to. It is not a taste you can just acquire but something your mind is compatible with or not. Which isn't to say someone who likes children of bodom can't also enjoy Ori music. But going the other way is definitely harder. And as someone who tends to feel sick to their stomach whenever I'm experiencing adrenaline, shovers, cold sweat, twitching lip, a general constant feeling of unhappiness, trying not to invoke that feeling is not a good starting point for appreciating that style of music. I would go as far as to say that's the whole point of it. That's what makes it exciting or enjoyable. But it's not for me. And I suppose the same could be said about horror. It's not for everyone either. Kara has some appreciation for it even though she gets scared easily, and Choskey doesn't like scary things at all, especially jump scares. Red is hypercritical and doesn't like it and says most of it isn't scary anyway. So it kinda works out that I didn't get into it because socially as of now I don't have any reason to. And again I'm stiff. I don't like having expected reactions forced out of me by another person or entity. So when I already know a movie is scary, all the jump scares get numbed down to nothing because I'm already waiting for it and I don't really get immersed into it because of the fact that I'm preguarding myself. I anticipate it so hard that I feel nothing and just find it silly.

[amtrak12]

AO3 Wrapped for 2023!

I got tagged by @purlturtle for this, so thank you! :D Let's see how I did on fics in 2023.

Overall Stats:

Works Published: 2 - because a Pushing Daisies snippet snuck in there lol

Word Count: 92,498

Kudos: 475

Hits: 14,729

Bookmarks: 161 (99 public and it's killing me ahaha I just want a nice round number again D:)

Subscriptions: 285

(All of those stats are heavily, heavily skewed towards one fic over the other as you'll see below :P)

Individual Stats:

Most Popular by Kudos: Can We Keep Her, my Lucifer S3 time travelling toddler rewrite at 471 kudos. (Out of my 475 total for the year LMAO. I told you the stats are skewed!)

Most hits: Can We Keep Her (Lucifer) again with 14,688 hits. Listen I really only wrote one fic this year. The Pushing Daisies one barely counts.

Longest: Can We Keep Her (Lucifer) at 92,307 words published as of today and still growing. Fun fact: This is also my longest fic ever published! So it would've won this category in any year.

Shortest: Three Lifetimes (Pushing Daisies) at 191 words. I did have other one shot ideas after my rewatch but I had to save my energy for the Lucifer WIP.

Most Comments: SHOCKINGLY (not), it's Can We Keep Her (Lucifer) with 186 comment threads/415 total comments. My greatest wish when this fic is all said and done is to hit 1000 total comments because I'll never be able to hit that in any other fandom I could ever be in for the rest of my life. And if it does turn out to be 30 chapters long (or more!), then I'm actually on pace to achieve it :')

(And this is where I go more into fic recs than talking about my own fics, because I did not write (or read tbh) enough to have proper answers for this section.)

Fics that made me cry:

Writing: The [redacted] scene for Can We Keep Her that I've played a million times in my head but haven't actually written yet cause I'm only halfway through the story. Maybe also the time travel reveal scene which gets posted in January, but that's lived in my head for so long, I can no longer tell what feelings it evokes.

Reading: never have I ever by jrrmint (Lucifer). S4 Chloe/Lucifer smut. It doesn't make me cry, but it does make me ache because it's Season 4, aka the angstiest season, and this fic makes it even messier than canon was which is just beautiful in the 'I have a history of loving soap operas' way. :D :D It also taught me cheating is a trope I will eat up with a goddamn spoon for this ship. Like HOLY SHIT! Eve, I love you, babe, but I need more Chloe/Lucifer S4 cheating fic pronto! O_O

(NOT S3 cheating fic. It does not work as well, because the Chloe/Pierce relationship was already a stupid decision -- by both the writers and the character -- so let's not add even more stupid decisions on top of it. However, everybody's already hitting rock bottom in S4 (and at different times too!) so that's why the cheating trope works so deliciously there.)

Fics that made me smile:

Writing: The opening scene to chapter 7 in Can We Keep Her still makes me laugh so much. Rory's manipulative little "My heart hurts :(" ploy absolutely kills me, plus all the other 'Day 2 of a baby angel' chaos that's happening. Also all of chapter 9 with the Deckerstar family domestics of putting Trixie and Rory to bed. A++ me. Makes me grin everytime.

Reading: If He's a Tramp (He's a Good One) by maybemalapert (laconicsims) -- Lucifer joins Chloe and Trixie on a trip to Disneyland, set (and written) in early S2. I'm absolutely loving reading the Lucifer fics in chronological order/reverse page order on AO3 since I came to the show after the entire thing aired. And this little one shot was wonderful <3

Group Activities:

Gifts: No gifts given or received this year.

Collaborations: I did do something here, though! I was a beta reader in the Bering and Wells Big Bang event. :) I helped with Dawn of the Dragonborn: Heart of a Hero, Heart of a Predator, Heart of Dovahkiin which was written by Rinari7. Not finished yet, but hopefully someday! Because the outline was really detailed and incredible. So, so, so fun AU even if you know very little about Skyrim (like me)!

Events: Also the Bering and Wells Big Bang. I still absolutely could never be a writer for such an event because I get too stressed and freeze whenever I try. But I really enjoyed being a beta reader! Less pressure lol

[secretivemessenger]

For the 1k event i'm requesting

Prompt = 100. “You’re still horny? Didn’t I fuck you hard enough last night?"

With Pantalone, they're in a meeting and mc is sitting next to him, suddenly, mc's hand trails towards Pantalone's thighs and slowly rise up to his dick but before his hand could reach his crotch, Pantalone grabs his hand.

At the end of the meeting they both walk out but Pantalone grabs mc's hand and drags him into an empty room, rest is up to you

Keep quiet

Bottom Pantalone x Top male reader

Rating: NSFW

Warnings: OOC Pantalone! Implied partners with benefits! Past sexual sessions mentioned! Hand job! Public sex!? Almost getting caught! Then actually getting caught! Nipple play! Reader has a big cock! Belly bulge!

Note: sorry for the long wait dove^^ but here ya go , also changed the plot up a bit if you don’t mind😗 also reader is a fatui harbinger or else how tf he gon be in the meeting room🤨

1000+ Event

Every one of the harbingers was standing far away from each other in that room that looked like a corridor —a single long table seated in the middle with a total of 12 wooden chairs.

In that freezing meeting room, the only sounds that could be heard is the sound of chilling silence, as hard stares were being thrown around towards one another.

You barely held back the laughter inside because of their silly little staring competition, asserting dominance is what Childe said it was, but you were far too amused to complain about it.

All of this was happening because the so called “leader of the harbingers” was not yet present , which is not that surprising because that old grandpa —as you liked to call him— always shows up to these “very important meetings” whenever he wants, sometimes you’ll be kept inside for hours till he finally decides to show up, unbearable but you still managed to bare with it somehow.

The sound of the large door opening attracted the attention of all as everyone’s faces turned to face the newcomer who entered the room, with his charisma and charm, Pierro walked inside the room scanning it with his eyes behind the mask.

Making sure everyone was present he made his way to the table sat down on the chair at the beginning of the table , all without saying a word , once he was fully seated he spoke out. “You are allowed to sit down now.” And just like little trained obedient puppies, everyone followed the somewhat order without a word of complaint, you chose the nearest seat to you which luckily was right next to the one with all the glory, Pantalone.

What you and pantalone have is somewhat complicated, you weren’t exactly lovers nor friends, a sex partnership is what it should be called, you were made to sign a whole 100 page contract before starting this, it was surely stressful but definitely worth it.

The smile on Pantalone’s face never leaving his lips as he looked at the leader listening carefully to what he had to say, and all you could do is stare at him, his face looked so pretty, almost hard to believe such an elegant person was begging like a slut to be stuffed by your fat cock just yesterday, such a two face~ a cute one atleast.

Just thinking about it excites you, remembering the way you held onto his slim hips as you pounded his hole till it stretched to the shape of your cock , making it so no one other than you can use that pretty hole of his, useless to everyone but you.

You can still hear his choked out moans inside your head, his little cute whimpers his shameless cries the way he stuttered with a moan everytime he tries to speak , at the end he just lost all his energy and passed out leaving you to continue fucking his passed out body.

Absolute good times, you wish to go back to yesterday just so you can fuck him again and again and again, such an unhealthy obsession you have developed for the infamous Pantalone, but you truly can’t be blamed he is majestic after all.

As these thoughts and memories flooded your mind like a disease you felt the heat moving straight to your cock, you can definitely get hard just by thinking of the things you two have done, meanwhile eyes slowly turned onto you which brought you out of your very deep thoughts.

Cold and amused stares were sent your way along side some glares , you might’ve been too obvious with spacing out this time, a small oops left your mouth, you heard a small chuckle from your “partner��� before he averted his eyes back to Pierro, and so did the other harbingers.

How embarrassing getting caught daydreaming about fucking one of your fellow harbingers, if only they could read your mind they’d be truly flabbergasted, to know about the horrendous thoughts that fill your mind.

Looking back at the leader you tried to focus your attention on him again but it was very hard, alot of uninteresting words came out of his mouth, you’ve only listened for few seconds and the feeling of boredom started consuming you whole.

Looking back at the man who has your mind in a choke hold you couldn’t help but admire him again, the way that little tank top of his looked around his upper body, if you squint a bit you’ll even see his cute nipples through it, and the way these tight jeans sticked to his legs like magnets, making his thighs look unsurprisingly charming and so grab-able, you just wanna squeeze it and squish it.

But who were you to keep your desires hidden? And so that’s exactly what you did.

Your hands gripped tightly at the inner side of his thighs under the table, his body jolted up in surprise at the unexpected touch, he looked straight at you with questioning eyes, you just smiled and signaled him to shush and give his attention back to Pierro, the look of panic in his face never eased but he still slowly turned his head back around , trying so hard to ignore the feeling of your hands squeezing his thighs.

Slowly going up towards his clothed cock, his breath hitch at your slow movement, these little touches you gave his made him incredibly weak, the feeling of your hands at his growing bulge was unbearable so he gripped tightly at your hands and glared at you, expecting you to stop he almost let out a moan when you squeezed at his cock.

As his other hands held on tightly to the chair’s leg, you started massaging his cock till it was rock hard inside his pants, breathy sigh’s left his lips as concentrating with whatever is going on has become unbearably hard, the way your hands slipped inside his pants then to his boxers made him flinch so hard as he looked at you in a panic state then looked around seeing everyone deeply focused on Pierro’s important talk.

Once your hands wrapped around his wet leaking cock an uncontrollable moan left his mouth, at the same time he smacked his fist on the meeting table to cover up his sound, the so called important talk was cut out by Pantalone’s loud smack to the table.

“Regrator, is something wrong or did you just feel the need interrupt what I had to say?” Pierro spoke while looking directly at Pantalone waiting for his answer, the moment he tried to open his mouth to answer you started fisting the tip of his cock squeezing and jerking it up then playing with it using your fingers, he tried his best not to whimper and cry out, scared he might embarrass himself infront of his fellow harbingers he stayed quiet as his heart shook with fear and excitement.

“You chose not to answer I see, this meeting was prepared by the tsaritsa herself , so make sure to arrange a meeting where you can talk to her about this kind of behavior , yeah?” Pierro said with his intermediating eyes, as Pantalone glared daggers at you for getting him into this unnecessary trouble while you only smiled at him still playing with his pretty cock “Y..yes” Pantalone answered in a stuttering tone taking all of his energy to not moan out while talking.

A sigh left Pierro’s mouth before going back to whatever he was saying, as you continued to jerk him off moving your hands up and down, looking at his sweaty face as it no longer holds that smile.

He smacked a hand against his mouth as his chest raised up and down, his body was shaking and trembling because of you, he almost teared up as he felt himself about to cum, before he gets anywhere you pulled your hand out completely.

He looked at you in shock , he opened his mouth many times to say something but nothing came out, you just smiled at him before turning your head to Pierro completely ignoring Pantalone, no matter what he tried to do you ignored him through out the whole meeting leaving him to suffer with the painful hard on you caused.

Pantalone was absolutely furious , how dare you do all this to him just to deny him from his release , and so once the meeting was over it was no surprise to you when Pantalone grabbed your hands and started dragging you away , while you just let yourself be pulled by him , you stopped in your tracks once you reached the hallway leading out of the building.

“Oh? Where are you planning to take me?” You asked playing the clueless game knowing damn well where he was gonna take you , “Stop wasting my time by acting dumb , let’s go.” He said in an annoyed tone

“You’re still horny? Didn’t I fuck you hard enough yesterday?”

You said in a mocking tone while a smirk presented itself on your face. “Doing such things in the meeting room , weren’t you the one who was being a horny mutt.” He confronted you , “Me? Are you sure? Cause I’m very sure you were the one getting turned on”.

Slamming him on the hallway wall. “You liked it, didn’t you?” You said as the smile on your face stretched more “Liked being touched like that knowing that everyone in that room could’ve possibly caught us , caught you enjoying yourself like a damn slut.”

His body twitched at your words and you didn’t fail to notice it , a small chuckle escaped your mouth , “Are you done now let’s g-” He tried to sound intimidating while saying it but you didn’t even give him the chance to fish his words.

Pressing your kneecaps on his visible bulge made him release a desperate moan , his body already feeling hot. “Why waste time in going to your building when we can do it here?” Hearing your words he looked at you like you were crazy or something “Oh cmon.” You started planting little kisses on his neck. “You were really enjoying it in that meeting room.” Moving your kisses higher till it reached his ear. “C’mon, it’ll be fun I promise.” You ended it with a small blow on his ear making his body shiver with chills.

Silence was the answer you received from him and you decided to take it as a yes. You slowly started by taking off his shirt leaving trials of kisses till you reached his cute buds , starting with small licks before taking the pink buds in your mouth he didn’t try to push you away instead he wrapped his hands around your neck pulling you closer as small gasps left his mouth.

You continued Sucking at his nipples till they were all red and hard , just by you swirling your tongue on his nipples made him breathless , lost in pleasure he didn’t even notice you taking off his pants until the air brushed against his hard cock stealing a gasp out of him , as you slipped your fingers inside his gaping mouth. “Suck.” You ordered , oddly enough he obeyed without making sure to get your fingers all wet , how adorable it was the way he sucked on your fingers , making you wish it was your cock instead.

Alot of thing were going on at one time , you fucking his mouth with your fingers all the while you still continued to suck at his nipples , it made his body so shaky and sensitive he barely managed to keep himself standing.

As hard as it was for him as it was for you , you who’s cock has been hard all this time without even touching it , you left yourself needy and gave all the attention to Pantalone instead.

But you too were getting desperate , so finally deciding to give yourself the attention you deserve you slowly started stripping your lower half naked , finally freeing your cock from its confinement. Pantalone stared down at your huge cock his drolly mouth looking very hungry for it. “See this, this is what fucked you good last night.” You said as you stroked yourself infront of him.

Swallowing his spit his sweaty face turned flashy red as he slowly took all the courage he had to speak his mind. “Fuck me… Please..” With the amount of desperation in his voice you couldn’t decline him beside it made you much more harder than before , as a laugh came out of you. “Gladly~” You said as a big smile planted itself on your face.

You moved too fast for his unfocused eyes , in a matter of seconds you took a hold of his legs and made it wrap itself around your waist , before plunging your fat cock inside his hole , and the loudest scream left him , Pantalones eye’s opened wide as his tongue lolled out , uncontrollable gasps and breaths lefts him because of the feeling of your cock inside his guts.

While pantalone was still getting used to your cock suddenly invading his insides , you looked down at his little tummy that you can clearly see the traces of yourself in.

It made you proud knowing that your cock was so deep inside of him it bulged in his stomach , pressing your fingers down on the bulge made a small cry leave him as he digged his nails onto your shoulders drawing blood , but you didn’t mind that it was actually cute.

Not much time was needed for Pantalone to adjust thanks to the fact that his hole was still lose from yesterday , so once a certain time passed you started moving your hips starting by slowly fucking him , this gentle pace didn’t last for long as your movement became more faster and rougher by time.

Shameless moans of your name left Pantalone’s mouth completely forgetting you two were still in the hallway and some of your other “fellow harbingers” were still present in the building , but you didn’t mind getting caught because then they’ll know that he was yours and yours only.

You pounded into him while gripping on his ass and stretching it , you raised his body and brought it down with your thrust drawing another slutty moan out of him , moving your hips you continued to fuck into him roughly watching your cock move inside of him watching the way his face twists with every thrust , he looked fascinating.

The both of you were close to cumming , it felt like a need to you to cum inside of him , to fill him up with your cum you can feel yourself getting closer just by thinking about it , your thoughts were cut off at the sounds of a very small gasp , very small you almost missed it.

Looking to the side you saw one of the fatui agents , you recognised from his uniform that he’s one of the dept collectors , how long has he been here you wondered , giving the fact that he have a visible hard on it must’ve been a while , you two were so lost in pleasure you didn’t notice him at all , truly hilarious.

Without stopping your thrusts you continued fucking into Pantalone who’s eyes were closed as he continued moaning absolutely clueless about everything other than the cock moving inside of him , as a smirk came up your face you put your finger on your lips signalling the agent to shush.

The agent nodded his head nervously and went away with his life , knowing damn well if Pantalone was to know he will surely end up without a head , but he didn’t really leave he knows how dangerous it is to stay but he couldn’t leave for some reason , so he hid behind the wall thinking you wouldn’t notice and started taking care of his own problem

you couldn’t contain the small laugh at the dumb agent as you continued to fuck your cock into his puffy hole knowing damn well that little agent was jerking off to you fucking Pantalone.

🏷: @gaybitchfx @vyloy @peter-the-pan @saelipse (your food) @valeksei (totally didn’t forget to tag you) cuse you said to tag u in important shit

[mikeysbabygirl]

Everybody portrays this man as a virgin loser bark bark ouaf ouaf who's just so nice and so shy, and I like it ! Don't get me wrong, he's such a sunshine.

But I'm thinking about this version of him, the dark one we saw after Manjiro's death (💔) and I probably shouldn't but man...

This is NSFW short draft so don't say you weren't warned. Word count : around 1000

Well for me, at least, this man is a menace.

He was such a sweetheart to you, before everything that happened. He couldn't even believe someone finally agreed dating him, moreover, you, none of his friends believed him when he told them about you two because "she's way outta your league", but it doesn't matter because at the end of the exhausting day at S&S motors, he would come to your place, hold your body closer, and sleep in your bed.

Now it was all water under burned down bridges, now he barely talks to you when you occasionally visit to make sure he's eating at least a decent amount. You don't blame him, after the traumatic events he's been through, you rather alternate between being there for him and giving him enough space.

Lately he's been taking a lot of space... and well you just wanted to know how he was doing, it precisely is what brought you to his place, what got you standing in front of Shinichiro sitting on his couch.

-" Gotta smoke " Wakasa lies, wanting to leave you both alone. He gets up from where he was sitting on the armchair and as he walks by you, his hand reaches to rub your waist in a comforting move. You both miss the blaze flickering on Shinichiro's deep abyssal hues.

-" Careful, he's not... " Wakasa whispers, almost a soft gaze on you as you give him a knowing smile.

Alone in the living room with him now, you dive deep in his dark ocean of eyes. He has never stared at you with such an empty glare, both arms resting behind the sofa, legs parted, weary expressionless face, and you anxiously playing with your fingers in front of him.

-" I just came to check on you" you announce, you finally dare to raise your head only to be met by yet another empty glance. " And to see if you needed anything from me".

-" Do I look like I need anything from you ?"

You swallow it, you've grown used to this dryness anyway.

-" No but..."

-" So ? Why the fuck you here for ? " He insists, his stern tone kind of intimidates you, he can see it, he wishes he could feel the slightest guilt... But along with the destructive thoughts colonizing his mind lately, the last straw and last thing he needed was seeing Wakasa's hand on you. He wanted to hurt you...

-" Shin I just wanted to kno-"

-" You just wanted Waka's cock. And I wasn't in need to see that. "

Well you tried at least not to take it personal, but your nerves are also easy to get at.

-" I'm sorry about everything that happened, okay ?" You finally dare raising your voice, though he doesn't seem the least impressed. " I'm sorry that I did not yet found a way to help you, Shin. I'm sorry I can't seem to be a good of a girlfriend. "

His foggy eyes drink in your shame whilst you get closer to his sitting form, standing right above him.

-" But... You don't get to talk to me this way. "

Nothing, not even the slow lift of his eyebrow could've prepared you...

-" You deserve better than all of this shit, but so do I. And I'm not just gonna sit here and let you disrespect me. I'm out."

It could have been a beautiful, dramatic moment, the rebellion of a woman in all its glory.

Yet Shinichiro's ticking bomb of nerves exploded right there and then, a strong, deadly firm grip is tightening around your fist, and with a gasp from you pulls you straight up into his lap.

You're frozen, because as much as he was so dry toward you lately, he didn't touched an inch of your skin. Deep inside, Shin wanted you to keep the memory of his old gentle touches instead, but oh well, you played first.

And you gulp down, as his hands come to squeeze your hips tightly, adjusting your body his left thigh.

-" Y'know what ?"

You're not sure if it is his face getting closer to yours, his fragrance mixed with the smell of smoke, or just his magnificently cursed aura, dark hair and eyes swallowing you like a black hole. But something about the way he looks at you tells you...

-" I think there's indeed something you can help me with..."

And the way his voice drops, becomes a growling whisper tells you...

-" Oh ? " You nervously scoff, a coping mechanism, probably, never had he been so... Creepy. " And what is it ?"

Shinichiro's hands sliding under your shirt, rubbing your bare skin up and down tells you...

-" Fuck yourself on my thigh".

To run.

-" You ain't fucking serious, are you ?" You raise an eyebrow, and immediately lower your tone in front of his unimpressed expression. " That's so toxic, Shin. We need to talk your issues th-"

The sudden thrust of his knee against your clothed clit, however, leaves to place to talk. Your eyes widen, he tightens his grip around your waist.

-" so we're not running the cute mouth anymore, huh ?" He scoffs, and you think, it's not your boyfriend in front of you. " you said it. You wanted it. "

And suddenly, his thigh won't stop meeting your clit, again, and again, stealing the breath from you and you're forced to hold on his broad shoulders. It is wrong, so wrong... But it has been so long since you've been showered with his touch, the drought left you as thirsty as to drink the poison he was spilling.

-" You wanted to help me. And I'm asking you, ride my thigh like you mean it. Like the fucking gorgeous slut you are. "

It felt like, his degrading words left by the window, while the need of him came by the front door. He saw your walls of seriousness stumbling down, saw your cheeks heating, your eyes beginning to roll back in your head, and he thinks that's crap because he really missed you.

-" yeah, that's it... " He groans in your ear, feeling the way you begin insidiously grinding against his thigh. " Fuck yourself on me, might just wanna take this pussy next"

And along with the twisted thoughts living in his mind right now, a smirk creeps up on his lips, hearing the ecstatic sounds breaking through the barriers of your mouth.

A rather forceful, abrupt thrust of his thigh, coming with a sudden hand pulling your hair back got you releasing a higher-pitched sound between a moan and a gasp, Shinichiro brushes your lips with his, making you face him.

-" and you're gonna make him hear. " You don't quickly understand he talks about Wakasa. Smoking somewhere in the kitchen or whatever. " Make him hear how loud I can make my bitch scream, before I'm pulling them from you by ruining this puss' , yeah ?"

At some point, you're even way too far gone to think about what he is saying. The only thing on your mind being your near orgasm, as his thigh relentlessly abuses your clit. Shinichiro suddenly pulls your face closer, fingers intertwining in your hair seeing the damp spot you're leaving on his pants.

-" That's it... That's what 'm talking about... See how good of a girlfriend you are for me ?"

I know I'm supposed to be revising BUT I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS HELP. I'm probably just good for horny jail ( only for these manga boys tho)

Also it's not proof head so if you see a weird word just close your eyes on it lol

[faevi]

SCENARIO: You meet lifeguard Levi and attraction blossoms. Oh, and he also happens to save your life. - PART ONE.

notes: this is part of @odmlevis's summer event for celebrating 1000 followers!! i'm so happy that got to participate, thank you riz for having me <33 ilysm!! now i'm usually insecure about my work despite having a passion for writing and enjoying it buuut i sorta suffered writer's block so i think this is my worst one yet DFLGJDFJ. i still hope you all enjoy it and i'd loooooove to hear your thoughts ; w ;. i'm obsessed with lifeguard levi! also there is NO smut in this piece. there are suggestive things but the second part to this will contain the smut and i will do my best to make it exciting uwu. please enjoy and look forward to part two!! <3 also fuck small font never using it for beneath read-more.

word count: 12,500+.

content/trigger warnings: drowning, death (i mean it happens technically but don't worry), CPR, ocean danger (riptides) mentions of fear and potential trauma, lifeguard levi being mega hot, suggestive scenes but really you're just helping levi being protected from the sun, thirsty talk, a raging karen, jellyfish sting??, lost children and i think that's it! -- also i have like 10% knowledge of CPR, etc so if it's not extremely accurate for every little thing, forgive me!

A soft sigh parts from your lips. You could feel the gentle sea breeze caressing your exposed flesh and you breathe in the salty scent that lingers in the air. You watch as each small wave washes over your feet, grinning a little with happiness as you curl your toes into the wet sand. It feels weirdly soft and everything reminds you that you’re alive. That’s why you love the sea and being new in town; you couldn’t help but plan the first few days where you spend the long hours at the beach. It’s a rather nice beach, as well. The beach from your previous home town definitely couldn’t compare.

The sun is out, shining down on the visitors but it isn’t horrific with its scorching temperature. Especially with the gentle breeze masking, it's true burning potential. You could hear all sorts of chattering around you. Kids babbling excitedly as they splash salty water at each other. Teenagers sun-bathing across their towels, gossiping about their crushes. Parents watching over their children or distracted by the heat rays, trying to dodge them by staying beneath the large umbrellas that the government must provide on the public beach. Everyone is here for a reason and there’s happiness buzzing around.

You grin a little to yourself, watching as a small hermit crab is stealthily trying to crawl back to the ocean and away from the terrifying yet clueless humans. Your hands carefully come out to hover over the crab, providing it with some shade. It hesitates before slowly succeeding in its day’s mission and fading into the ocean. “Good job, little guy.” You praise despite it falling on deaf ears. With the breeze licking pleasantly at your bare flesh, you squat down to glide your fingers rather lovingly across the wave that comes to your ankles.

“Ex-Excuse me, miss?”

You hear a small voice next to you, already identifying it to belong to a small child. You tilt your head to gaze at the girl. Her face is red and blotchy from tears, automatically prompting a concerned frown to appear. “What’s wrong, cutie?” You ask gently, extending your hands out cautiously and the little girl latches onto them, her cries becoming louder, snot threatening to dribble and you look down to see that her foot is almost pale beside the striking red that comes in the form of lines. A jellyfish must have made contact with her and you gasp softly, inching closer.

“That looks like it hurts, sweetie. Do you know where your parents are?”

She frantically shakes her head and it causes moments of panic to flicker in your heart, leaving an unpleasant ache. You hated seeing anyone in pain. Especially children. “Well, you know there are special people who work on the beach! They’ll help you with your foot and help find your parents. Shall we ask them?” You ask in a soothing tone, hoping to coax her into relaxing further and not focus on the stinging pain that must be pulsating through her foot. The young girl whines, latching onto you, arms around your neck.

It surprises you but you welcome it with open arms. Physically. You wrap your arms around her frail body and hoist her up, careful to keep her close to your own body and not touching the foot covered in sting marks. Your hand gently rubs along her back, eyes wide open as you try to capture the sights of the signature red uniform that lifeguards wear. Most seem to be very far into the distance. “It’s okay, sweetie. We’ll find your parents soon, hm? All the pain will go away.” You continue to blurt out the comforting words for the little girl in your arms, feeling the sleeve of your shirt becoming wet with her tears.

You were starting to feel desperate and that’s when fate introduced itself on the beautiful beach, in the form of a male lifeguard, settled comfortably on the lifeguard chair, peering through binoculars to scan the beach every so often. The umbrella providing him with the much-needed shade and for now, preventing any threat of sweat to appear for the moment. Each step and you're reminded of the warm sand beneath your feet, gaze fixated on the lifeguard. Even with the distance between you both, your heart is starting to race with excitement. You’re at the foot of the ladder, head tilted to look at him and gosh, it was a struggle to not stay fixated on his beautifully chiselled abs but even his face made you feel like you’re drowning in gold from how gorgeous he is. Sharp jaw-line. Perfectly shaped brows. Soft lips. Smooth skin that’s begging to be marked. Steel-grey eyes looking down at you.

Oh.

He’s looking at you. The lifeguard is leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees, legs spread out slightly and the whistle dangling down his toned chest. “What do we have here?” He asks curiously, brows knitting out of concern, eyes flickering from you and to the little girl. His gaze lingering on you a little bit more than the child. You feel warm in the face, ignoring the crowds behind you and adjusting the girl in your embrace.

“The poor girl lost her parents and I think- a jellyfish?”

The male doesn’t wait for you to finish, jumping down from the high chair and with a soft thud from the sand, he lands gracefully in front of you. Instantly, his larger hands are hovering over the girl, his voice soft and tender.

“Hey, sweetheart. Is it okay if I touch you? It will help me check out your foot.”

The little girl is clinging, peeking at the dark-haired lifeguard. You find yourself surprised by how gentle he is and that he even asked for permission when most would just go out of their way to grab. She nods her head slowly, sniffling quietly. The lifeguard guides you both further beneath the umbrella that’s situated up high. He then cradles her leg with his hand. “Oh dear, that must hurt, hm? Let’s get you up to the secret base. Do you want me to carry you?”

The child’s head is nodding eagerly and you find that it’s not just you completely wrapped up in the male’s soothing tone. His eyes meet yours and you offer a warm smile, carefully handing the little girl over. Gently, the lifeguard wraps his arm around the child, cradling her head to the crook of his neck. You decide to stay quiet as you follow him across the beach, footprints left in the sand. His fingers gently brush through the girl’s hair, aiming to distract her from the pain that continues to linger.

“Jellyfish are mean, aren’t they? What’s your name, little one?”

“So-Sophie..”

“What a pretty name! We’ll call out for your parents once we reach the secret base. Stay strong, we’re nearly there, okay? It’s okay if it hurts, Sophie. That doesn’t mean you’re not strong.”

You feel warm from the male’s words, watching as the little girl calms down to only a few hiccups between her tears, glancing up to see that you’ve nearly reached the ‘secret base’. He clears his throat, looking towards you.

“Your name?”

“Y/N. Yours?”

“Mm. Levi. Did you find her?”

You frantically shake your head, hands rubbing nervously together as you recall the girl tugging on your sleeve and tears gliding down her chubby cheeks. “She found me. Well, maybe I was just the closest adult to her, I was at the edge of the ocean. The first day visiting and it’s already so eventful.” You joke lightly, hand stretching out to rest on the little girl’s head. Levi hums thoughtfully in response, now standing at the foot of the stairs towards the lifeguard lookout. One arm continues to hold the girl comfortably to his body, the free hand now gripping onto the rails.

“Welcome to the Paradis beach, then.”

A light laugh escapes your soft tiers, eyes shaping like moon crescents as you smile wide, pleased from the rather casual welcome from the handsome lifeguard. “Thanks! I’ll be visiting again. Whether to swim or save another child by taking them to a— beach professional.” You joke lightly, willingly following Levi up the wooden steps, thankful they’re not metal because otherwise, your bare feet would burn further. Levi lets out a half chuckle, amused by your words. “Just remember to apply sunscreen with each visit.” The dark-haired male mutters, nudging the door open and entering into the cool office space that contains clear windows to expose the entire beach.

Another lifeguard is sitting at the office desk, legs propped up and lips wrapped around a lollipop, lazily sucking on it. His dark brown hair tied loosely into a bun and red shorts hanging low on his hips; same uniform as Levi. “Sup, Cap’.” He slurs out playfully, swinging around to look towards you and the little girl, eyes soon focusing on the blotchy sting marks across her foot. “Ouch! Looks painful, sweetie.” The other lifeguard states, pulling himself out of the chair and walking over to you three.

He raises an eyebrow, looking at you. “We promise your daughter is in safe hands. Sit back and—“

“Oh god, I’m not the mother. She’s lost.” You splutter out, feeling flustered as you shake your head. His lips press thoughtfully together around the lollipop stick, shrugging his amusement away from witnessing your flustered moment. Levi rolls his eyes at his co-worker’s playful manner. “Eren, call through to the others. We’re looking for her parents. Her name is Sophie.” Levi orders the younger lifeguard who salutes, prompting a soft giggle to spill from the girl’s lips. Eren grins, winking towards the pair of you. “The quest begins to find the princess’ parents! Knight Levi, I leave the girl in your capable hands!” Eren grabs his cap to pull onto his head before grabbing the walkie-talkie and leaving through the door you entered. You bite back a smile, silently amused and pleased that both you’ve met are good with kids so far. You settle down next to Sophie, stroking her hair lightly and thankful from the break in the cool room.

“Tch. He’s a bit of a brat but a helpful one at that. He’ll find your parents in no time, Sophie.” Levi reassures softly, walking over to the basin where he adjusts for hot water; not too burning. He swiftly cleans his hands before tugging on a pair of latex gloves. Not necessarily needed but Levi likes to handle everything with proper hygiene and care. “Alright, little one. The—“ Levi pauses, contemplating on something. “The magical cure to this monster attack is hot water and waiting it out for the most point. Good thing you have two knights with you.” Your eyes meet with his before he adjusts her toes to rest on the chair in front of her.

Sophie pouts a little, squirming uncomfortably but she looks determined. “Okay... Okay! I can do it.” Sophie grabs onto your hand and you squeeze lightly. Levi sets an empty bowl on the ground beneath, tips of his glove covered fingers brushing along the protruding sting marks before setting the other bowl of water on the table next to him. Sophie whimpers softly, biting down on her trembling lip. Levi offers a soft smile and you feel your breath being taken away and sits down on the other side of Sophie.

“Ready, Princess?”

Sophie closes her eyes, nodding frantically. Levi holds onto her other hand and stuck between you both, Sophie finds herself feeling safe. You watch, almost fascinated when the lifeguard handles her with such care. He scoops some of the hot water with a cup before gently pouring it over the sting marks. You could feel her small fingers gripping your hand tightly as she squirms in her seat. “That’s it, Sophie. You’re doing so well.” Levi praises quietly, repeating the process. It soon becomes soothing for the stinging pain, coaxing it to become light throbs and eases Sophie’s heart.

Her cheeks are dry with tears, watching the warm water being poured consistently over the injured area. “Wah, is- is water magical?” She asks innocently, truly wrapped up in the wonder of how the warmth of the liquid could dominate the stinging pain. She even begins to wiggle her toes against the chair. Levi chuckles softly, finally setting the cup down and letting her foot air dry because he knows a towel is never a good idea for any sort of burning sensation.

“I think what makes it magical is your strength, Sophie. You’re a little trooper. You did well. Now we’ll just wait for Mister Eren to come back with your parents.” He holds his hand out and you watch as Sophie excitedly yet clumsily smacks her hand against it. Levi grabs onto it and playfully shakes it about. You wrap your arms around Sophie and squeeze lightly. “You did so well, Sophie! D’aw, I’m so proud of you!” You exclaim, prompting another giggle to bubble out of her chest.

You hear frantic footsteps outside, climbing up the steps until a couple appear, two females stumbling in. They’re sobbing out of relief, coming over to pull Sophie into their arms. “Mommy! Mama!” Sophie squeals, hanging onto them and grinning. Levi stands up and you sit back, avoiding the close sight of his toned body in front of you. Especially with the obvious v-line that leads down and beneath the red shorts. Eren bursts in, arms out wide. “Quest has been completed! I’ve found the Queens and as a reward for the pretty princess..” Eren trails off, plucking a lollipop from the candy jar and hands it out for the child.

Sophie smiles shyly, small fingers curling around the stick to pull in. One of her mothers breathes in deeply, biting down on her lip. “Thank you. Thank you for finding our daughter. We were worried sick and looking all over for her.” Both of her mothers pull her in further, clinging firmly onto their daughter. It warms your heart to see the reunion, hands hiding behind your back. The shorter male clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s quite alright. This happens more often than you think. All I request is that when you go home, you help her have a hot bath, it will help soothe the pain even further. Just a regular jellyfish sting but she handled it well.” He explains firmly, guiding the family closer to the exit.

With several thank yous to the pair of the lifeguards and Sophie waving goodbye, they left. Eren glances towards you, smirking slightly before he moves towards the door. “I’ll go keep a watch out.” He says before leaving through the door and jogging down the steps. Silence fills the air between you both and you’re awkwardly rubbing your hand along your arm, smiling a little. “I’m glad she can go home in peace.” You exhale out softly, your body finally relaxing. You love the beach and it’s always full of surprises. Some that make you feel uncomfortable. Why? You hate when people, especially children, are distraught.

Levi’s slender fingers drag through his silky hair, stretching out and unintentionally flexing his muscles. You swiftly look away again and he’s no fool. He picks right up on it instantly. His hands stuff comfortably into the pocket of his swim shorts, face expression a little smug when you weren’t looking but it fades away quickly when you gain the courage to look at him once more. “You did the right thing, Y/N. You.. You’re a good person.” Levi decides on, not wanting to expose himself just yet on how the attraction is mutual. He couldn’t. He needs to be professional.

You feel your cheeks warm up from the kind words, opting on rolling your eyes playfully as you walk over to the door, lingering as you turn around. “You’re pretty good, too. Saving people and all. I better head home for the day but... You might see me tomorrow if you’re around on shift. I’d like to visit this beach often.” Your fingers tap lightly on the frame and Levi’s steel-grey eyes holding your gaze.

Seeing you for the second time? Doesn’t sound bad at all in his mind. Levi walks over to the desk situated in front of the tall windows, grabbing his cap. Instead of putting it on his head, Levi walks over to pull it down onto yours, hovering in front of you. “Make that a promise then and return my hat, Y/N.” Levi responds smoothly, eyes flickering down to your tiers.

A surprised whine escapes, flustered as you pull his cap further down until it manages to hide your eyes. “Oh— Okay. I’ll— I’ll see you tomorrow, Captain.” You tease the lifeguard lightly before swiftly leaving the lifeguard’s secret base and jogging down the steps. You didn’t get to see the rosy tint to his cheeks and you weren’t aware of how you now invaded his thoughts, feeding him certain fantasies already.

“Pretty..” Levi breathes out softly before shaking his head to snap out of his thoughts and walks over to settle in his seat, eyes instantly locking onto your figure through the windows. He watches as you jog across the golden sand. Tomorrow. You promised tomorrow and he’ll hold you to that.

—————————————————————

Just like you promised, you arrived at the beach the following day. The cap is comfortable and blocking out the rays of the sun. Selfishly, you didn’t want to return the cap. You wanted to keep it. Why? You know why. It belongs to the lifeguard named Levi. The one you find so irresistible that visiting the beach gives you a whole different meaning. Your mind is left wondering if you’ll stumble into him today, finding yourself too nervous to actively search for him. You could only hope. Desperately hope that fate will be on your side once more.

It’s just after 12 o'clock and you’re walking along the pavement, gazing fondly down at the beach. You recently went down to splash in the water and even leave a pattern in the sand with pretty shells that were swept up by the waves. Now, you’re craving ice cream. You’ve always been fond of keeping cool with a sweet treat. You shuffle along the pathway, the warmth of sun rays seeping into your flesh and making sure to keep out of the way of other people.

Once you arrive at the outer entrance of the cafe, you shuffle into line, gaze fixated on the menu. You lightly tap your chin thoughtfully, inspecting the variety of flavours. You could hear seagulls squawking in the distance, the sound easily lacing with the sounds of the waves and laughter. You smile widely when you finally make it to the counter. “Good afternoon! I’d like a scoop of cookies ’n’ cream, please! On a cone.” You request, pulling your wallet from your handbag. You watch as they scoop up the ice cream and gently pressing it onto the cone, making sure it’s firm before they hold it out.

“That’d be a $2.50!” The worker says with a professional smile.

You nod quickly, managing to balance your wallet between your body and arm, wiggling out your card. They prepared the machine for you and as you go to press your card against the touch screen, suddenly, another black card presses against the screen and an instant beep is heard. A soft gasp falls from your lips, head whipping to the side and your eyes meet his.

Levi. Right now, he’s wearing a uniform shirt to cover his toned body and a fresh pair of red shorts. No cap, of course. The shades on his head have pushed up some of the strands of hair but besides that, some still frame around his temples. Amusement lingers in his steel-grey eyes, pulling his card away to tuck back into his wallet. “You— You didn’t have to do that!” You exclaim, a little bewildered from where he arrived. The dark-haired male cocks his head slightly, delicately holding onto your wrist as he guides you out of the line with the ice cream. “Saw you and wanted to, Y/N. It’s no issue. Besides, you’ve kept your promise. So think of it as a reward.” Levi retaliates lightly, finally taking a sip from the takeaway cup.

Butterflies flutter in your stomach, eyes lingering on his lips that press against the edge of the cup, mindlessly taking small licks of your ice cream. You’re too focused on his face, making yourself oblivious to the fact that he’s mimicking you. His warm stare fixated on your lips, watching as the ice cream smears across your tongue, coating your lips in the sugary goodness. Ice cream never looked so tempting for the older male until now.

“Coffee for the shift?”

“No, tea. Helps me feel relaxed.”

He tilts his head briefly, silently gesturing for you to follow him back down the pathway and enjoy the beautiful scenery. You follow him obediently, falling easily into step. Two tiny steps with one long stride from the lifeguard. “Tea is good, I couldn’t resist an ice cream, though.” You sigh out softly, dragging the flat of your tongue across the creamy texture, almost having to withhold a moan from how sweet it tastes. Levi kept his head facing towards the ocean, almost sipping at his tea a bit too fast, feeling his tongue becoming numb. He couldn’t help but think to himself that you were starting to be far more too tempting than the ice cream. “Not a sweet tooth but I confess, you make it seem heavenly.” He murmurs against the rim of his lid, glancing at his watch. His break will be ending soon. You whine out softly, flustered from his confident yet sweet way with words. “Tsk, please, Levi. It’s not me at all.”

Droplets of ice cream threaten to dribble down your chin. Gently, Levi cups your chin and you stop walking. His thumb cautiously wipes away the slippery goodness and when your eyes meet his, there’s some unknown electric spark you’ve never felt before. Cautiously, he licks his thumb and finally tastes the cookies ’n’ cream before he resumes his walk. The lifeguard knows that he rarely makes bold moves but when they slip out, he attempts to behave naturally as possible. You feel weak at the knees and find yourself briefly grabbing onto his forearm to stable yourself. Your cheeks feeling so hot that you swear for that moment, you must have been the radiant sun.

The corners of Levi’s lips quirk ever so slightly, extending his arm out slightly so you could continue to use him as support. His internal excuse? Lifeguard duties. The bottom surfaces of your shoes scrape lightly against the pavement, playfully shaking your head before breathing in deeply. “Why did you want to become a lifeguard?” You ask out of curiosity, tugging his cap further down on your head. Levi disposes of his empty cup in a bin passing by before rubbing the back of his neck. Why?

“When I first saw the ocean, it made me feel free. I wanted to continue to chase that freedom and felt like others feel it when they’re at the beach. Guess I just wanted to protect others when they feel it. So I trained and now here I am.”

The sense of awe wraps around your heart and squeezes. You never expected such a breathtaking answer. You puff out some air, finally letting go of his arm. “That’s amazing of you. I love the beach but I don’t think I could ever be a lifeguard. It takes strong people to take such an emotionally and physically draining job.” You compliment happily, tongue swirling around the ice cream as it gradually becomes smaller, carefully munching away at the cone until the ice cream eventually disappears and you’re left pouting. Levi finds himself growing fond of you and this is the only second time you’ve spent time talking to each other. You especially look endearing tucked away beneath his lifeguard cap.

“It has its downsides but there’s plenty of perks. My shift resumes soon.” Levi exhales softly, pulling his dark shades down to cover his gaze and block out the burning sun. You couldn’t help but pout, willingly following him like a lost puppy, trailing down the steps. The lifeguard, being the subtle gentleman that he is, offers his hand to help you down. A simple offer but not a necessity to accept. Still, you do. Anything to feel the softness of his skin against your own. You gently take hold of it, the other hand grabbing the rail and you take each step slowly. You both were being deliberately slow to take your time getting back to the main lifeguard post, not because you struggle with stairs. It prompts an amused grin to tug at your lips.

“A pity, I find myself wanting more of your time. Perhaps I need to go pretend to drown in the ocean so you could come and swim out to me? Be your damsel in your distress for this one time?” You grin, jumping down onto the sand. Levi rolls his eyes from hearing your words, giving your hand a firm squeeze. “You will not be doing that. If you happen to be in trouble, then I’ll come to save you. Besides, it’s not like I’m going anywhere. My time is yours.” He reassures through an exhale, letting go of your hand. He stretches out the muscles in his hands, swearing he could still feel the warmth. The warmth is so pure and comforting compared to the blazing sun.

You bite back a grin, fingers lacing together behind your back and you just knew that if it wasn’t for the sand making each step of yours sink, you’d be bouncing. You watch him, fascinated. His eyes are fixated on everything around him. First, the ocean. No one is drowning. Across the beach. No issues. No fights or tears. It’s relieving for him to not having to rush and simply trail along between bursts of crowds and standing umbrellas with you. You were never away from him, able to keep up. The only issue that made his eyebrow twitch out of annoyance was a group of teenage boys leaving their rubbish behind.

“Oi.” Levi called out firmly, lifting up his shades and naturally, you shift behind him and watch the lifeguard work his magic. The teenage boys turn as if ready to give him a whole lot of shit but the death glare that the short lifeguard is sending towards them, leave them looking like deers in headlights. “Pick your trash up if you ever want to enjoy your time here again. No one leaves filth on my beach.” He warns in a deathly calm voice. They appear to choke on their spit, frantically grabbing the wrappers and empty bottles off of the golden sand before stumbling away. The dark-haired male tsks softly, pushing shades down once more. God— You couldn’t even try to ignore the deep fluttery feeling in your stomach from witnessing the lifeguard being protective of his beach and disgusted by filth. A man who loves the beach to be free of trash has easily deepened the attraction you feel towards him, cheeks feeling too warm to be just from the sun. His hand takes hold of your wrist to gently guide you back into being next to him, walking in comforting silence and your hand resting over your beating heart.

It didn’t take either of you long to reach the base and you stand on the small pavement block, a pout lingering. Is there where you had to leave him for the day now? Well, you could always come back tomorrow. You know your friends wanted to spend time with you at the beach as well. “Wait here.” Levi states firmly, walking up to the entrance of the lifeguard office that you visited yesterday to help a child.

Obediently, you stay. You stay at the very edge of the steps, silently wondering if you should return his cap. You find yourself selfish and wanting to keep it. Simply cause it meant something about him will be with you. Instantly, your hand comes up to smack against your forehead. “Acting like a damn school girl with a crush.” You scold yourself through a heavy sigh and completely oblivious to the lifeguard walking back down the steps, his shirt now off to reveal his beautifully detailed abs, one hand rubbing sunscreen along his other arm.

“Oi, stop spacing out.” He scoffs lightly, amused from seeing you react to hearing his low voice. Your head snaps up, eyes locking onto the heavenly sight of a thin white cream being rubbed into the other’s gorgeous skin. Smooth and pale, never threatened by the sun. You figured yesterday that he uses sunscreen like it’s a second skin for him. Levi is now standing in front of you, wrist angled slightly as he holds the tube of sunscreen lightly. Instantly, your hand reaches up to rest on top of it, gazing into his grey eyes.

As usual, his eyebrow arches up in question. You felt like you were under a trance as the sounds of people around you both fade out with ease and in your mind, it’s only you two standing on this small pavement block in the sand and seagulls chirping as they fly by, the sounds of the wave becoming a form of comfort.

“Let me help you. Not like you can reach every inch of your back, right?” You suggest with a sickly sweet smile creeping up onto your face. It’s almost as if you have something sinister planned but Levi is no fool. Sure, you want to help him but evidently, you also want to touch him. This is your way of asking for consent and willingly, he lets go of the tube. “Go ahead, princess. I know you probably can’t hold yourself back any longer.” Levi teases with an amused half-laugh escaping.

A childish grumble escapes you when he hears his words but really, could you even deny it? You’ve been admiring ever since he was sitting up in the lookout chair beneath the umbrella. Hell, you even loved when he looked down at you. “Just being a friendly citizen.” You joke lightly before moving to stand behind him. Blindly, you squirt some of the cool sunscreen onto your hand, placing the tube carefully on the rail to balance before you finally rest your coated hands on his broad shoulders, warm gaze steady on his toned back.

His shoulders tense up for a moment from the cold temperature of the sunscreen but he soon relaxes, eyes glancing over the beach. No one seemed to mind the lifeguard having an openly flirting moment with someone. Usually, he’d be put off physical touch with another in a public space but the excuse is that you’re just helping him. Besides, no one is looking. Kids are too busy building sandcastles to even care of two adults heavily hinting at their mutual attraction towards each other.

Levi is strict on himself but for once, he relaxes further as he feels your fingers gently massaging against his tensed up shoulders, rubbing the white sunscreen until it smoothes over his unblemished skin. You personally enjoy feeling the muscles that work so hard to save lives daily. Maybe that’s what makes him even more attractive in your eyes. The muscles alone aren’t overwhelmingly bulging. It’s just the perfect amount. Your standing close enough for your warm breath to fan across his left shoulder blade, shifting your gaze to steady his face. You swear there were flames hotter than the sun dancing in his hard stare that fixates on the ocean. What could he be thinking?

If only you knew as your hands travel. You squirt more onto your hands, not wanting a slither of his flesh to become burned by the fierce sun. The palms of your hands pressing flat against his back and gently moving along the muscles that easily melt into relaxation from your magical touch. Levi’s teeth bite down hard on the inside of his mouth, not daring to give away just how much he’s enjoying feeling your currently silk-like touch along his body and just towards the upper curve of his behind, thanks to his shorts sitting so low.

Your chin rests on the back of his shoulder, smirking slightly as you continue to stare up at the lifeguard’s face. Levi doesn’t dare to look at you, still. “So wouldn’t it be best to wear a shirt, still? Are they that unpractical?” You ask out of mere curiosity and it encourages a hard sigh from the short male’s lips. “They’re a little restrictive but honestly, I’d be for wearing them. It’s Eren who whines that are apparent hot bodies would attract more people to the beach. God fucking knows why. Mikasa agrees for Eren’s sake. Jean is competitive and wants to prove his body is hotter than Eren’s. Sasha and Connie just happily go along with anything. Armin is a peacemaker so he just agrees to what makes the majority happy. Even the one in charge of us, Erwin, is fine with it. Tch, you think visiting the beach is about seeing the ocean or something.” Levi drawls out, though deep down Levi agrees with anything as well. His squad being chilled out means less on his shoulders.

An amused giggle escapes your lips, biting back a grin. You could hear the fondness in his tone despite his open complaint. You could understand why shirts would be important but selfishly, you’re really happy that they’re rarely on. Though, you know you’d be like some animal on the heat for the gorgeous man whether he was dressed head to toe or not. “Well, I think you look lovely either way so no complaints from me.” You reassure, hands pressing against his lower back and spreading out, your grip managing to stretch out the flesh and a soft groan escapes his lips.

“My front needs working on, too. Since you’re being so kind with helping me.” He grunts between his clenched teeth. You raise an eyebrow, cheeks heating again before you eagerly guide the lifeguard to turn around. He follows the movement of your hands willingly until he’s facing you. For the moment, your bodies are so close that warm breaths form together between you. Only an inch between your lips and his. You could just lean in but, you didn't.

Boldness flows through your veins and so you lean up to whisper against his ear, tongue almost teasing with a light ticklish graze against his earlobe. “I’ll be a good girl and make sure you’re protected.” You pull away with a shy grin, noticing his eyes struggling to not widen with shock from the courage you display. You stifle a laugh, leaning back now and grabbing the sunscreen to squirt more onto your hand, soon lathering it onto both of your hands before you smack them lightly onto his firm chest. Briefly, you could feel his steady heartbeat beneath your palm before you finally took the last needed step and begin to repeat the same motion from when you lathered it onto his back. Your smaller hands glide across, rubbing the creamy substance into his skin, edging down slowly.

Your fingers accidentally brush against one of his sensitive nipples and his fingers twitch. The urge to halt your movements were strong but he pushed through. He watches you with an intense, fiery gaze. Eyes clouding with something mysterious as the pads of your fingers brush along the ridges of his abdomen, admiring the toned muscles that seem so firm in place from heavy training.

You smear the sunscreen across the hard yet soft surface of his stomach, rubbing the cream along his sides and your gaze avoids his. You could feel his soft pants against the side of your face and he seems so drunk off of your touch already, sparking confidence in you. You glance up for a moment before your now daring hands glide along the obvious v-line that leads to somewhere else.

“Such a teasing brat.” Levi mutters quietly, fingers dragging through his silky locks as he watches you, deeply fascinated. You smile innocently, tilting your head. “Just doing my civic duty and helping out a beloved lifeguard of the Paradis beach. Here— Your legs need to be done, too.” You reason gently once you finished with his upper body.

Fuck. He couldn’t believe you’d not care if anyone else on the beach was watching. Levi glances up towards the lookout, noticing Eren’s smirking face through the window at the scene he’s witnessing. Instantly, Eren backs off to keep an eye out on the beach when he noticed Levi’s signature death glare. Tch. Levi watches as you so innocently lower yourself, gripping onto his muscular thighs until your knees make contact with the concrete. There’s a temporary burning sensation across your knees but frankly, maybe you were the one who is too intoxicated from touching him cause you find yourself not giving a damn. A little pain isn’t going to scar you for life and so, you welcome it.

Levi feels almost delirious but he hides it well behind a neutral mask, eyes set on you. Usually caring for physical touch in public right out the window still. The lifeguard desperately excuses it as help. Maybe his back hurts a bit so he can’t reach for his legs. Yeah… That sounds reasonable. Perhaps not for the lifeguard who often refuses help and pleased to show he’s capable of everything but right now, he wants this. He wants to have visions painted in his mind from pleasant memories of you down on your knees in front of him. Arms cross against his chest and he leans against the rail.

You reach for the sunscreen and continue to look up. Your head is tilted back enough for the moment so he could see how your clouded gaze is looking up at him from beneath his cap that you were still wearing. Long lashes fluttering so prettily and he couldn’t help but wonder— No. He needs to stay on task. Levi shifts his knee up to brush lightly against your chin, silently encouraging you to continue. You pout slightly from not even seeing him budge in the slightest when it comes to whether he’s deeply wrapped up in your behaviour but obediently, you squirt the last bit of sunscreen onto your hands and quickly, work it into his thighs and down the length of his legs. Surprisingly, his legs seem quite long despite being short. His body is perfectly proportioned. You tenderly squeeze along his thigh muscles and even down to his calves, admiring what must be the structure of some God.

Grudgingly, you finish down to his ankles and notice his hand extending down towards you. You take hold of it, feeling the warmth spread through you and butterflies fluttering and you’re easily hoisted up by the lifeguard’s strength. You almost stumble but his swift grip onto your waist and hands resting on his chest is enough to stabilise you. A soft chuckle escapes the lifeguard and you feel his hand pulling on the cap, pushing it further down.

“Thank you, love. A saviour to a lifeguard, huh? Definitely protected now, feel like sunshine is just repelling off of my body.” Levi hums softly, grabbing hold of the sunscreen from your grasp, fingers brushing against your fingers. “Always happy to save the day but it’s your turn now to do the saving. Shall I go jump in the ocean now? Is that enough to prompt you to save me?”

Levi couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes, though the corners of his lips twitch slightly. It’s difficult for him to not smile when you’re being silly. “Well, I will be doing my job but don’t be an idiot and drown yourself. I better resume my shift properly now. Your teasing ways have been halted.” He sighs, hinting at the fact that your hands practically groped him happily as you massaged the sunscreen in. It’s a good thing that no one was actively watching, all too distracted by their little worlds.

You bite back a grin, hand coming up to take the cap off. You suddenly feel his fingers delicately wrap around your wrist. “Keep it. You proved to me that you keep your promises.” The lifeguard reassures, now pulling away. He needs to move to one of the furthest chair lookouts on the beach for the afternoon.

No— You didn’t want to be away from him. What was going on with you? Why are you so drawn towards him? “I- I’ll be back tomorrow! My friends want to come and we’ll be around. You’ll keep an eye out for me?” You ask, pleading with the older male with your eyes. He’s staring for a good few seconds before forcing himself to look away, hands naturally resting on his hips. Tch. He’s never been weak for someone but why is it that you could ask him to burn the world and he’d contemplate about doing it? Does this mean later as whatever relationship this is, blossoms, he’d do it? Mentally, the lifeguard tried to excuse every thought that lingered in his mind.

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to try and search for you through the hundreds that visit this beach. Don’t worry.” Levi sighs dramatically, hands resting on your shoulders to give a brief squeeze before guiding you off of the cement block in the sand. “I have to go, Y/N. Get home safely. I’ll find you tomorrow.” Levi reassures, stepping down as well. Your feet easily sink into the soft sand a little and the dark-haired lifeguard is nearly pressing up against you.

Briefly, his thumb and index finger pinch your chin lightly, leaning towards you momentarily. You feel your breath hitch from the contact, unable to stop yourself from leaning into his touch. “You make ice cream taste sweeter.” Levi murmurs. The moment was fleeting. Levi was already pulling away, his hand gripping onto his opposite shoulder to roll slowly, stretching out his muscles.

“Go home. Rest.” The lifeguard says once more before finally, he begins to jog in his desired direction. You swear you must have been in Baywatch or something cause everything seemed to slow down as you watch him with your fiery gaze, eyes lingering on his toned ass in the signature red shorts.

No— No, no, no.

You frantically shake your head to snap out of it before finally deciding to head home, walking in the same direction but already, he was far in the distance. Your fingers linger at your lips, faintly remembering the taste of the sweet ice cream and smiling to yourself. Tomorrow needs to come and fast.

——————————-

“You’re telling me that this beach is FULL of hot lifeguards but you’re only craving one of them? What about that— Eren, was it? He seems like he knows how to make you cream hard. Like— Over and over.”

Instantly, your hand smacks against your forehead, resting back against your large beach towel as you groan quietly. Your best friend always has a lovely way of choosing her words. You have the same signature cap on, tilted slightly to block out the sun, your one-piece swimsuit is a gorgeous red and maybe you wore it to feel even closer to a particular lifeguard. It’s silly. This crush of yours. Instantly developing on day one and it’s only the third day. You wondered how deeply infatuated you could potentially be in months if you’re already drowning happily in the thoughts of him.

Yes, other lifeguards exist on the beach and are incredibly hot. Eren with a cherry flavoured lollipop dangling from his lips and shades covering his eyes, openly and jokingly flirting with you and your friends before moving on to inspect the beach. Your best friend was practically drooling from the sight of his gorgeous eight-pack and that’s when you decided to tell her you were only interested in one. The one you mentioned over the phone. Levi Ackerman. Eren is hot, you’re no idiot. It’s just Levi has such a strong hold of you. Almost choking and leaving you gasping for air but that’s what you wanted. To be completely wrapped up in someone. Devoted to a man who is devoted to protecting the beach. You wonder if he’d open up to the idea of being devoted to you as well. You sigh out softly, gaze almost longing as you stare up at the clear blue sky.

“You can go chase Eren, he’s hot. He’s just not..”

“He’s not Levi.”

Your best friend sighs out dramatically, almost shaking her head in disbelief before she crawls towards you. It’s only you two on the warm sand at the moment. Your other friends are having fun splashing each other in the ocean. You watch as the other female hovers over you, eyes full of warmth. “Why don’t you try to find him later? I’m sure he’d be happy for you. Well— You’d be happy to see him. Probably would wet yourself out of exicte— Hey!” Her words are cut off with a loud laugh as you jump at her, rolling around until you’re on top.

Your fingers jab into her sides, coaxing another giggle to escape. You pout slightly, flustered from her words. “It’s not my fault that he’s so gorgeous, huh! You’d understand once you see him.” You huff playfully, pressing a dramatic kiss to her cheek. Your best friend sighs dramatically, cupping your cheeks to squish them. “You’re an absolute simp. For an older man as well. Come on! Let’s go swimming.” She grins at you, tugging on your hand. You couldn’t help but grin, always feeling energised from being around you. With your best friend’s help, you hoist yourself off of your towel, pulling the cap off of your head to tuck carefully away in your bag. You didn’t want anyone to see it and take something that you find yourself caring so much about.

With soft giggles and loud cheers, both of you sprint towards the ocean, feet sinking into the sand with each step. You both splash into the shallow waves that stroke along the sand. You gasp sharply from feeling the cold lap at your feet but you push through, running with your hand tightly gripping onto your best friend’s hand until it reaches the waist. You spread your hands out, basking into the warm sunrays and the sand beneath swirling around your feet from the constant movement. You find yourself feeling happy from the cool water against your bare skin, legs feeling even smoother when they rub beneath the water.

You flinch when your best friend splashes water at you and you lick your lips, tasting the saltiness. You narrow your eyes playfully before you jump at her, aiming to have her soaked from head to toe. The ocean acts as a resistance between you both but, it doesn’t stop the other female from escaping as you hug around her neck tightly, dunking her beneath the surface before letting go. You watch as she splutters a little once she’s above the ocean level, pouting at you.

“You’re an absolute brat, Y/N.” Your best friend whines, splashing more of the salty water at you. You stick your tongue out playfully, feeling the wind blowing your wet strands of hair gently around you. Huh. Another perfect day, you couldn’t help but think to yourself and utterly oblivious to the slowly developing rip near you; waves of water finding a lack of area to naturally pull back into the salty sea. You dip your head back into the ocean, grateful that the beach is known for being one of the cleanest on the planet. You could only assume that Levi is a heavy contribution when it comes to zero pollution.

“Y/N, is that him?” Your best friend asks, coaxing you out of your relaxed state. You carefully peek in the direction where your best friend is pointing and in the distance is indeed, the man who is holding you so tightly. Figuratively. You shift to stand up, the water reaching just above your waist, feeling a gentle pull that you only assume are the easy waves pushing out and pulling back in. Naturally, you feel hotter than before, despite the ocean keeping you cool. It’s his fault. He’s able to leave you all tingly and squirming even without being near you. Your gaze lingers on the dark-haired male who appears to have not noticed you yet but, he’s looking around quite often, more so for a lifeguard who usually fixates on an area for several moments before onto the next. Is the— No… He couldn’t be.

If only you knew. Levi’s grey eyes are searching for you. The lifeguard is dedicated to his job and so, it’s only a given that it’s natural for him to watch out for the visitors of the beach today. When his head tilts to inspect the rockpools that are forbidden to the public. There are even ropes tied off to metal poles drilled deep into the rocks and warning signs for the public to stay away. That it’s not safe with jagged rocks and nasty little critters who love to visit. Does that stop a lost child trying to climb up the awkwardly placed rocks on the side of the beach? Apparently not.

“Fucking hell, where are your parents..” Levi mutters beneath his breath, attention briefly off of the ocean as he walks the two hundred metres towards the small cliff of rocks that leads up to the small pools. “Hey, kid.” Levi calls out with a warm tone. The small boy turns around, hands gripping weakly onto the rocks. The child wasn’t going to make it far at all. Levi leans over the small child, his bigger hands smothering the child’s hands gently. “That’s not for climbing, hm? Are you lost?” When Levi asks the child, he easily guides the small boy away from the rocks and kneels. The child struggling to form words simply nods his head.

Why do parents seem to lose their children so easily? Levi couldn’t help but wonder. Sure, it’s difficult when children love to explore and are deeply fascinated by the smallest of things, like a seagull eating a fry but, really? “Come on, let’s go find them, hm? Can I pick you up?” Levi extends his arms out, offering a very brief yet soft smile. Instantly, the small boy practically stumbles into Levi’s arms, cheek rubbing against Levi’s warm chest. Levi wraps his arms carefully around the child, allowing the child’s behind to rest on his forearm before he stands up.

Levi takes his time to approach the general population of the beach, allowing the child now to ramble into his ear like an overly excited kid seems to do. His hand reassuringly rubbing along the boy’s back and instantly, his piercing gaze now flickers to a middle-aged lady storming in his direction, arms wildly swinging.

‘Tch. Great.’

“What do you think you’re doing with my son!?” The middle-aged lady practically roared as her hands launch out to try and grab hold of her child. Naturally, Levi pulls back and tightens his hold. One hand comes out to halt her movements, eyebrow arching. “Excuse me? Calm down before you hurt either of us or your child.” Levi scolds before carefully setting the child down. The small boy is holding calmly onto Levi’s fingers and his mother rather aggressively pulls her child away.

“How dare you! Are you trying to kidnap him? I’ll call the cops on you.”

An amused scoff escapes Levi, finding that blood is rushing to the tips of his ears and leaving him angry. The crowd behind the lady seems to become loud and restless and Levi needs to move on to find what was going on. He gestures to both the red shorts that are low on his hips and the whistle around his neck. “Ma’am, I’m a lifeguard and your son was alone and trying to climb dangerous rocks. How about you watch your child instead of your phone or some shit?” The dark-haired male remarks before trying to move on. The lady pushes at his smooth, bare chest, scowling. “No, no! You’re staying right here. You have no right to talk to my child! That’s the issue here, not me losing him. I don’t care if you’re a lifeguard and save lives. You’re a pervert! I’m calling the cops.”

Levi openly scowls at the stupid woman in front of him. He doesn’t have time for a raging Karen. The lady whips out her phones and begins to dial for the police. “You’re going to look like a fucking idiot when they arrive but go on.” Levi spits out, not bothering to keep his cool when he usually does. He tries to move past her but again, she pushes him back. The child whining from his mother’s strong grip. “Let me go do my job before I drag you off my beach.” He threatens with a deadly calm voice. The crowd behind the woman is even more restless than before and that’s when he notices a female stumbling towards him.

The lifeguard manages to move aside and catch the female. Her arms desperately grabbing onto his toned biceps and she’s crying heavily, face red and blotchy. “Hey, what’s wrong? It’s alright, I have you.” Levi says, managing to shove the middle-aged lady off of his back, hands gentle on the younger female. “Pl-Please, you have to help her! My best friend! We got caught in a rip and a-as she guided me out, she got sucked in further. Please!! Help, Y/N. She’s drowning!”

Levi’s blood rushes cold from hearing both the horrific situation that the older lady was preventing him from attending to and, that it’s you that’s in danger. His hand firmly grips onto your best friend’s hand to give a reassuring squeeze. “Come on. No time.” He states and when he moves in the same direction that your best friend is pulling him towards. The middle-age grips onto his forearm, trying to pull him back. “No, you’re staying here until the police come!” She exclaims in disgust. With his inability to control his temper that he’s usually perfect at and knowing you’re in danger, Levi rips his arm out of her grip, seeing red from the pure anger pumping throughout his entire body.

“FUCK OFF.”

Levi’s voice laces with your best friend’s and he glances towards her, noticing the tears still spilling but sharing the anger, obvious by her piercing gaze. The mother is shocked from having the pair yell at her, scoffing and pulling away but continues to call the cops. Whatever. Not Levi’s problem. With his hand still comfortably gripping onto your best friend’s hand, he sprints down the cleared area on the beach, sand flicking up with each movement. His heart is racing with dread, hoping that he wouldn’t be too late. This would never usually happen. Levi is the master of multi-tasking when it comes to helping lost children and saving people from danger but the conflict prevented that from happening. Stupid. So damn stupid.

“Th-There!” Your best friend chokes out, pointing out towards the previous part of the ocean that she was swimming in. The rip is a dangerous one. The pulling of waves back into the ocean rapid and aggressive. Fuck. Just in the far distance, Levi could spot your head struggling to stay above the water, arms weakly splashing before exhaustion takes over and you start to sink. The crowd is in distress and he sees Eren jogging from the other end.

“Take care of the crowd!” Levi calls out to Eren before he lets go of your best friend’s hand and begins to run directly into the rip. It’s crazy for an average citizen to do but as a lifeguard, he’s trained to face them head-on. To have a strong body that handles endurance and the heavy pull of a rip. Is it preferred to have equipment like a board when rescuing? Most definitely but alas, when there’s zero time, Levi had to take the chances and know that he’ll survive, thanks to his intensive training. Already, he feels the shallow water at his feet trying to tug him in and he sprints forward, heart racing with both adrenalin and anxiety. ‘Y/N, fuck. Please be okay. I’m coming.’ Levi thinks, diving gracefully into the pulling water. The rip embraces his body happily, wanting to pull him in deep and leave him exhausted but, with his muscles tense and swift kicks of his legs, Levi manages to meet your body.

You weren’t moving. Your body is still being dragged out to sea but naturally, Levi’s arm wraps around your waist to pull you close to him. He uses his free arm to aid himself in swimming parallel with the beach, moving sideways and further out of the rip. He could feel his body being pushed back, keeping both his head and yours above the waterline. God, he wished he had his board. His muscles strain with each time his arm drags through the resisting water, legs kicking beneath. “It will be okay, Y/N!” He calls out, being greeted by a wave that flows towards the shore from next to the rip.

Relief washes over him when there isn’t any more resistance, meaning that he managed to swim out and still have a protective hold of you. Your body is limp in his arms, floating in the water like a ragdoll. Water threatens to drip into his eyes from wet strands of hair but he ignores it as he pushes towards the shoreline until finally, his feet make contact with the soft sand of the shallow waters. He’s panting heavily, noticing Eren nervously looking back to see if Levi needed assistance but people were horrified, trying to inch closer to watch. “Everyone, back off!” He calls out, gently pushing the crowd back. Levi’s legs feel weak from the heavy use of them, arms hooked beneath your shoulders to drag you carefully up along the sand until he lays you back against the damp sand, panting softly. Instincts as a lifeguard kick in instantly and he’s going through the process to prepare for CPR.

First, he’s desperate to check for a response. Tender hands cup your cheeks. “Y/N, can you hear me?” His hands coming down to shake at your shoulders. Nothing. Fuck. His fingers gently press down on your chin, guiding your mouth to open. Carefully, he checks for any signs of breathing by holding his hand beneath your nose and hovering over your mouth. There’s no faint touch of a breath against his fingers or palm. Double fuck. Quickly, his fingers press against your pulse line in your neck and he feels nothing. This couldn’t be happening. It feels like a bucket of ice-cold water of horror was dumped all over him. He needs to stay calm. His hands tensing up to avoid the trembling.

“Eren, I’ll be starting CPR. Call in the paramedics.” Levi calls out to the younger lifeguard, not bothering to watch as he shifts himself to lean on his knees. The dark-haired male rests his palm on the centre of your chest, the fingers of his free hand easily slotting in between the gaps of his other hand. With no time to waste, he begins to start with compressions. His hands firmly pressing against your chest, pumping steadily and counting up to a hundred and twenty. A hand comes up to gently pinch your nose, the palm resting lightly on your forehead and your lips still parted.

Swiftly, two of his fingers carefully dip in to inspect that your airways are clear and you’re not choking on anything, not daring to poke in deep and once cleared, Levi inhales deeply before his lips barely press against yours and he blows in deeply until all of the air left his lungs. He then tilts his head until his ear is hovering over your mouth, gazing at your chest, watching as it falls slowly. He is quick to repeat the action another five times, lips barely pressed against yours as he blows deep amounts of air into your lungs.

The crowd is restless, trying to peek around both Eren and another lifeguard who has arrived. “The paramedics will be here any moment, Levi!” Eren calls out, arms extending out to block. Your best friend peeking from behind Eren, clearly in distress. The dark-haired lifeguard takes note of what he heard but continues, his hands coming back to the centre of your chest, beginning the next set of compressions, panting out between each push down onto your chest.

Suddenly, you splutter out the water that was trapped in your lungs, droplets mixed with saliva splattering across your face and your eyes scrunched tightly before you inhale sharply, desperate for oxygen. Your chest is screaming at you to relax as your heart races hard. Not wanting you to choke further on the salty water, Levi carefully rolls you onto your side, one hand on your waist and the other gently patting your back, making sure not to be too rough. His own heart is racing, in time with yours. He feels beyond relief. Happy. Thrilled. Hell, even concern and anger. Anger towards a certain old lady holding him back because if she didn’t, the threat of your life wouldn’t be on the line. Still, he’s so damn relieved. Adrenalin causing his body to shake as you roll onto your back once more, breathing deeply as if you haven’t breathed in so long.

Everything is confusing and you flinch from hearing loud cheers around you. Your best friend pushing past Eren and stumbling towards you. Instantly, Levi’s hand extends out to halt her from touching you. “Careful.” He warns gently and you blink slowly, eyes flickering between you both. What.. happened? Your short-term memory is momentarily unstable. “Stay still, Y/N. The paramedics will be here soon.” Levi reassures, glancing up to scan the crowd. Already, he could see a pair of paramedics rushing towards the scene, carrying a portable stretcher between them.

“Wh-What happened?” You manage to cough out, a hand coming up to rub at your aching chest. Tenderly, Levi’s thumb strokes along your cheek, gazing down at you. He’s silent for a moment, deciding on his words. “Consider me selfish but, I had to bring you back to life.” He mumbles softly, looking off to watch the paramedics set the stretcher along the damp sand. Naturally, your eyes widen from the news and vaguely, you begin to remember some details. Being caught in the rip. You pushing your best friend to encourage them to swim parallel to the beach, only for the salty water in front of you pushing you back and soon enough, you were frantic. The panic taking over the knowledge you have of dangers on the beach.

You drowned and Levi rescued you. He breathed life back into you on the shore, people anxiously watching. Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes, face scrunching up and weakly reaching out for him. With ease, Levi takes hold of your hand. “Just keep on breathing in deep. Do you feel any sharp pains?” He asks softly, glancing towards your best friend. She’s sniffling softly, wiping at her face. “No, feel okay. ‘M not too good but alive.” You mumble softly, using your free hand to reassuringly stroke along your best friend’s bare thigh.

The paramedics squat down on either side of Levi, already kicking in to check your vitals. “She’ll have to come to the hospital for a checkup. She might be able to go home tonight if everything is all good for the next few hours but we have to be sure. If you’re able to leave your shift, please attend with us. She might still be facing trauma and health problems.” The paramedic to Levi’s right states, satisfied with your condition for the moment. Naturally, Levi pulls away for the moment, offering your best friend to stand up. “Can you collect her stuff for me? I’ll have her call you.” He asks softly, resting his hand on the female’s shoulder to give a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll take care of her.” He says, backing up with further reassurance.

Your best friend is sniffling, suddenly hugging tightly around the middle, hands pressing against his bareback. Awkwardly, his hands hover above her back, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. “Thank you for saving her. I’ll— I’ll go get her stuff.” She states before rushing off, not wanting to waste time. You were watching the entire time, tears threatening to spill still. The paramedics were carefully moving you onto the stretcher, insisting for you to relax and not strain your body further. Even when you insisted you were okay with walking.

You continue to watch. Levi discussing things over with Eren and the other lifeguard, noticing heads nodding eagerly and gesturing for Levi to go. There was no time for Levi to even grab a shirt, still, only in the signature red shorts, hair wet from the ocean and droplets of water gliding along with his lean figure. The paramedics lift the stretcher off of the sand just as Levi takes hold of your backpack, swinging it onto his shoulder. The crowd parts to allow you to be carried away with no issues and your hands come up to cover your face, wanting to fade away from the humiliation you felt, not wanting to be in public’s attention as they whispered around you.

Your mind is like a fierce whirlwind with thoughts, still facing disbelief that you ended up drowning despite desperately trying to escape, only for Levi to breathe air back into you and jumpstart your heart back to beating. You barely processed that the stretcher slides gracefully into the back of the ambulance and the lifeguard joins you, settling down next to you. You flinch slightly from the slam of the ambulance doors, one paramedic in the back with the pair of you.

“Y/N.” Levi calls out for you softly, scooting to the edge of the metal bench. Instantly, your hand grasps around his, slotting your fingers through the gaps of his and looking towards him. If it wasn’t for this man right next to you… You wouldn’t be part of this world anymore. It’s overwhelming. Heart clenching with so much relief and adoration for the older male. A small hiccup escapes you, bottom lip trembling and tears now spilling down your hot cheeks. The dark-haired male’s gaze softens, ignoring the existence of the paramedic and uses his free hand to come up, cupping your cheek.

Carefully, his thumb brushes away the tears. “You sa-saved me.” You hiccup out quietly, tilting your head to nuzzle against the warmth of his palm. “Well, it’s my job after all.” Levi jokes lightly, his palm squishing your cheek as he drags his hand along until his slender fingers brush through your locks, hoping to ease the tangling from the salty water. You giggle softly, shaking your head. “Don’t do that again.” The older male sighs out softly, his hand appearing to not be able to stop touching you as it smoothes down your bare arm, eyebrows knitting together to form a frown. You feel confused, mirroring his frown.

“Don’t. Don't put someone else before yourself again when it comes to your life.”

In reality, Levi understands why you did it. It was your best friend and since day one, Levi could tell you have a heart of gold and an incredible amount of empathy. Still, it brings pain to his heart. The thought of losing you. If it wasn’t for your best friend grabbing his attention, who knows what would have happened. His hand holding yours is gripping tightly. If that raging Karen was just doing her job as a parent, he would have saved you instantly from the dangerous rip. He cares about you.

You smile softly, chest rising and falling slowly. Your chest is aching less, not clogged up by water anymore. “I had to. She’s my best friend.” You mumble softly, ignoring as the paramedic inspects your vitals once more, just allowing them to attach you to whatever. You don’t care to pay attention, even if you’re grateful for them taking care of you. Levi pulls both of his hands away, trembling fingers dragging through his tousled hair. His heart feels heavy with dread. “I know, but fuck. Y/N. I was scared. I'm rarely scared and yet I was so fucking scared that I didn’t get you in time. I mean, I didn’t. You died for the moment and if I wasn’t trained in first aid, who knows what would have happened. I’m just glad you’re here. Fucking Karens distracting me.” He groans out of frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Butterflies are born in your gut, fluttering wildly from hearing his words. You couldn’t even pay attention to the roasting words about middle-aged women. He was scared to lose you? Was the attraction mutual? Were you both developing feelings ever so slowly or, was it just because it’s his job. You could only assume that he was feeling guilt from not getting to you in time. With a huff and your arms trembling, you attempt to hoist yourself up until you’re sitting. “Hey—“ The paramedic starts, only to stop with a sigh and deciding to allow you to sit up. They adjust the back levels of the stretcher so you could rest your back against it. You mumble your gratitude before you bend slightly to face Levi.

“Come closer.” You huff, pouting. Levi rolls his eyes dramatically before he willingly moves forward until his crossed arms are resting on the rails. “I’m sorry for scaring you, Levi. Thank you for saving me. I love the beach and I— should have seen signs but I was too oblivious, having fun with my best friend. It’s important to me to keep her safe but I promise I’ll be careful, nn? No more danger.” You promise and despite your body feeling so weak from exhaustion and trauma leaving you rattled, you bring your hand up to cup both of his cheeks. They feel so warm against your palms.

His half-lidded gaze is fixated on your face, silently wondering in pure awe how you could be so pretty despite what just happened. The corners of your lips form a tired yet genuine smile. You like him. You do. Even before he became your hero and saved you. Levi relaxes himself to rest his face in your gentle hold, gazing into your eyes that he finds so beautiful. Not that he’d say that so openly. You nervously lick your lips. “Can I kiss you?” You ask through a soft squeak, positioning your body to keep the silent paramedic hidden. No one will ruin this for either of you.

An amused chuckle escapes his tiers, pleased from you being the first to ask. “A kiss from a gorgeous girl? How can I deny that? Go on, baby love. Kiss me.” The lifeguard mutters, leaning in. The pet name warms your heart, making you feel like you’re swimming in a pool of gentle gold. You smile towards him before completing the gap and press your plush lips onto his soft tiers. Your breath is stolen away once more for the day but this time, you wanted it. You shift your hand to the back of his head, nails scraping along the light buzzcut before fingers thread through his damp hair. You pour all of your gratitude and deep attraction for the older male into the kiss.

For that moment, Levi accepts affection with ease. Even when someone else was in the moving ambulance. For him, everything around just faded to black. Your lips managing to have a hint of sweetness despite swallowing salty water. His arms stay comfortably crossed against the rails of the stretcher, tilting his head to the side and deepening the kiss. Tiers fitting so perfectly together, moving in sync and savouring the taste of each other’s lips. Addicted already. His fingers tighten around the rail for the moment as he holds himself back, not wanting to completely devour you just yet.

You find yourself feeling light-headed. Probably the curse of drowning only recently and so, you pull away with a soft pant. Levi gaze is holding fondness, the pad of his index finger resting against your forehead and pushing you back until you’re resting with your back against the thin mattress of the stretcher. “Tch. Now rest. I don’t want you to push yourself.” Levi warns, leaning back. You pout slightly. “Honestly, I feel fine? I don’t think going to the hospital is needed.” You try to reason through a soft whine. Really. You feel fine. Perfectly alive. Maybe a little frazzled, guilty, scared and exhausted but, you’re fine. Levi shakes his head. “That won’t work on me, Y/N. Come on, it will be good for the both of us if you rest.” He says, arching an eyebrow as if daring for you to retaliate. You didn’t.

Comfortable silence fills the air. Only the sounds of gentle beeping and wheels against the road. You feel like the happiest person right now, despite the terrible experience. Deep fear still lingers but you’re relieved that at the moment, you could think about his lips against yours. That feelings are mutual. You’re grateful for the escape.

“Do you want to come to a bonfire this weekend? I’ll be there. The other lifeguards as well. You can bring your best friend.”

You blink from hearing the sudden invitation, turning your head to look at him. Steel-grey eyes are staring right back at you, prompting your cheeks to feel warm, looking down at your hands. “I’d like that.” You confess breathlessly. Pleased with your response, Levi relaxes, one leg crossing over the other. “I’ll send you the details once you’ve been discharged, love. For now, do get some rest. You’ve had a rough day at Paradis.” The dark-haired lifeguard insists, intense gaze warning you to just accept and behave.

You nod your head obediently, not daring to whine for even a second and settle comfortably in the stretcher, finding comfort in the butterflies in your stomach. It was near impossible to hide the smile that blossoms across your visage when you feel the warmth of his hand enveloping yours.

You find yourself thinking that your version of heaven on Earth comes in the form of Levi Ackerman and thank god, you’re alive on Earth.

---

© 2021 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED — FAEVI. Do not modify, repost, plagiarize, or claim my work as your own. Do not promote any of my work on any forms of social media without my prior consent.

[not-poignant]

Lately I have been trying to learn more about story structure and have been rereading books I've enjoyed while trying to pay attention to the structure specifically. I reread The Gentle Wolf and was just wondering, if you don't mind answering, is structure something you make a point to think about along with character/plot while you're planning out novel-length projects, or is it more something that happens instinctually for you?

Hi anon,

Tbh the answer for both things is kind of true when it comes to novels? I've talked a lot in the past about how I use a 3-act structure, and A/B/C storylines, so you only need to go back into the pia on writing tag to see some of those posts that have more of an explanation.

But I also generally speaking look at wordcount. I work out that I want to write a 90k story (give or take 10k words) - which is a standard novel). I generally divide that number by 4.5k (average chapter length, give or take 1000 words) and that leaves me with knowing exactly how many chapters I have to tell my story in.

From there, I mostly focus on having each chapter not be too 'busy' (i.e. focus around one major scene. The only exception are what I call 'transitional' chapters, where time gets super non-linear and I just skip ahead through a bunch of smaller scenes), and cleanly getting through my plot points as much as possible. In the chapter plan, everything is extremely short-handed. An example of my The Gentle Wolf chapter plan looked like this (copy/pasting from my chapter plan):

AODHAN

Thomas visiting Little Star. Aodhan happy to see him. They chat, and Aodhan realises he likes Thomas (or has known for a while) but that it’s been 2 years and he’s probably missed the mark. Thomas expresses needing information for his museum and because Aodhan wants to establish more of a connection, he suggests his grandfather.

THOMAS

Thomas meets Aodhan at Iona’s house. Iona treats Aodhan badly and Thomas feels bad. Wonders how this is connected to Aodhan’s ‘absences.’ The information Aodhan has is good. Thomas marvels because he has zero connection to his own wolf family, as he was put up for adoption. Aodhan mentions loving shifting, asking if Thomas would ever do it with him, but Thomas redirects: ‘I don’t like the loss of control.’

AODHAN

Aodhan with Hunter, shifting, chatting about Thomas. Hunter says Aodhan should just tell Thomas that he likes him. Aodhan gets a call, and leaves to see his father. Later he lays in bed and decides the worst thing about him isn’t that he’s demisexual.

(These are chapters 1-3 - Tumblr's formatting is weird and I don't want to touch it, lol).

The entire chapter plan is 1000 words, and one or two chapter descriptions are only one sentence. When that happens, it means I know around that point I'll need 'more' but can't figure out what I need yet at the beginning of the story. I leave those chapters as kind of empty spots for me to put any extra stuff in that might be relevant at the time.

But anyway you can see from chapter 1 we establish the unrequited aspect of Aodhan's feelings for Thomas, as well as Aodhan's workplace, and Aodhan's family as historically significant. In chaptaer 2, we meet Aodhan's family, and we learn more about Thomas' issues with shifting. In chapter 3, we learn that Aodhan is struggling over whether or not to tell Thomas he likes him, etc.

The Gentle Wolf actually had pretty slow / gentle pacing on purpose. But I tend to go with chapter plans like this because I just want bare bones of the events that are happening, or the emotionally significant events. I've got friends who write really long chapter plans (they're basically just writing a skeleton draft), but I've always done it this way - leave them as short as possible, focus on how to make these basic points powerful.

I don't chapter plan most of what I write, and the more complicated a story is, the less likely I am to plan it out (with the exception of The Ice Plague). The reasons for that are that I've had 9 years of practice writing serials, and I actually feel like I'm stronger at winging it and creatively figuring my way out of dead ends, than I am at pre-planning a story. So that's where the 'both' part comes in. I will also throw out an entire chapter's description if I think of something better as I'm writing the story.

I would say overall structure is pretty innate in the sense that...I've read thousands of books. I've watched thousands of TV episodes and hundreds of movies. I've read thousands of fanfics over the years. And I've done university-level courses in Scriptwriting and Creative Writing. There's so many different ways to look at story structure (3 act? 5 act? 9 act? etc.) I am a character first writer always, for better or worse, and I am mostly just interested in following characters through a story.

I try and avoid reading too many books on 'how to write' but I do like Dan Harmon's Story Circle technique (I learned about it late though, not at the beginning) and I feel inspired by the way Studio Ghibli tells a story, and many fanfiction writers that I love reading. I also find books written by writers tend to be extremely rigid and 'do it this way or else' (which is annoying when you realise they're all teaching you different ways), and a little (or a lot - in the case of Stephen King) ableist. So I avoid em! I'm the first person to say I'm not a great writer, but I like what I write, and since the great writers aren't writing specifically for me (not enough hurt/comfort, not enough angst, not enough BDSM, not enough diversity, not enough sitting with characters as they just talk about stuff and figure stuff out, not enough non-sexual touch, etc), I figured I'd fill that gap ;)

If someone wants to be a successful author, I don't think they should write like me, so...I'm just going to leave on that parting note, lol. There's a lot of other authors doing it better out there, just be wary of anyone who says that their way is the best and/or only way.

[inkyblinders]

These Fragile Pieces

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Requested by anon: Hi! I was wondering if I can request a Tommy Shelby angst to a happy ending imagine. Basically, Tommy told y/n to wait for him, but he moves on with Grace. Now, when she tries to move on, he won’t let her... etc.

Author’s note: This story is set shortly after the events of Season 1. ~1000 words.

Warnings: Angst

Tags: Let me know if you want to be added or removed

@rrtxcmt, @whizzbeesdukes ___________ “It starts and ends at the Garrison for us, eh?”

On a night like this, the pub should be filled with customers, red-faced with whisky and loud with song. But the tables are empty, the room so quiet you can almost hear the sawdust from the ceiling drift to the ground, swirling in the air like snowflakes.

You can do that--change business hours according to your whim and fancy-- when you’re the leader of the Peaky Blinders.

“Tommy, you didn’t need to close down the pub just to talk. It’s not like I’d run away. I’m not unreasonable.” Your mouth twists even as your voice is steady.

“Aye,” He says heavily. “It’s not you who’s unreasonable.”

He casts his eyes upward, and if you didn’t know any better you would think he was praying. But Tommy Shelby doesn’t pray to God. That part of him died when he went off to war and came back a man with a heart made of frost and stone.

“What do you want? If you need someone to mind the pub now that Grace is--”

“That’s not what I came to talk to you about. The truth is...”

Tommy reaches across the rickety old table and takes your hands, his own palms callused and warm. Good, strong hands. You’ve seen them kill a man before, but you’ve also seen them carefully pick bluebells from the field and thrust them to you, sweet and bashful in the way a boy in love could only be, because he knew they were your favorite.

That was years ago. Now you hardly know the man sitting across from you.

There were rumors that Tommy fell in love with a golden-haired siren and lost her when she betrayed him. You’ve seen Grace working in the pub before. She was quiet, polite to the rowdy customers but keeping to herself. When you told her you had kin from Galway she smiled wistfully and said she missed the rolling green hills there.

Her songs were clear and sweet, and they brought back some semblance of normalcy to the town. The war-haunted men of Small Heath have gone too long without something beautiful in their lives.

So when you saw Tommy grow closer and closer to Grace, lingering in the bar after hours, passing over your gaze as though you were a ghost, you couldn’t find it within yourself to hate her. After all, it wasn’t her fault that he left you waiting on an empty promise.

f,Now, as you look at Tommy’s hands holding yours, ashamedly waiting for you to find the truth behind his eyes, you realize what he came for. Why he needed to talk to you alone. And a sudden fury filled you so that you could barely speak.

“How dare you,” You say in a low voice, shaking. “How dare you waltz into my life, pretending nothing’s changed, when I’ve waited and waited for you to come back to me?"

“After Grace, I--”

“Was this seat where she sang for you, that first day? Did you pick this place because it reminds you of her? I'm not a dog to be replaced when your favorite runs away." The words rip out from you, dripping with acid, cruel even to your own ears.

He flinches as if you'd struck him in the face. "It's not like that," he says fiercely, "I never meant to hurt you. And I never loved Grace."

“We’re through, Tommy. You made your choice and I made mine. I have a man, now. He is kind to me, you know? Kind and true.”

“But you don’t love him.”

His matter-of-fact tone makes you truly want to strike him.

"You pretended I didn't exist, Tommy. You came back and pretended I was a stranger."

Tears blur your vision until his face dissolves into fractures of color and light. You blink them impatiently away, but more well up to replace them until you feel him get up and sit beside you. And despite hating yourself for it, you allow him to gather you in his arms, and press your head to his shoulder,

It has been so long, the closeness should feel foreign. But as he murmurs into your hair and tenderly wipes the tears away with his hand, as you breath in his scent like oxygen, it's like the war never happened and you only belonged to each other again.

"I came back from France different, and I didn't want you to see me like that." Tommy says quietly, his voice rumbling in his chest.

"Back in the trenches, when the cries of the dying were too loud to be ignored, I'd close my eyes and see your face. When I slept I'd dream of seeing you again, holding bluebells in your arms."

"But when I came back everything was wrong. All I saw were the blood and the mud and the dead. I saw Grace and I thought, maybe I could make you hate me this way, hate me enough to make you forget. So you don't ever have to see me trapped in my own mind, reliving horrors not meant for anyone to see."

Now it is he who twists his lips into a sardonic smile.

"But it seems like she left before she could do any damage."

"Grace never did anything. It was you who thought you could play God with my heart." You sniffle even as your heart breaks at the pain Tommy has hidden for so long.

“And what a fool I was for believing I could do that." Tommy sighs, full of regret.

"As for the Garrison, love, don't you remember? This was where you sent me off. You said you’d rather remember me here smiling and drunk instead of scared at the station. When we sat here, I also asked if you’d wait for me.”

"So I'm asking again, as wretched as a man can be, am I too late?"

"No," You whisper softly, reaching across the space between you to cup his face in your hands, "Never."

[kiribaku-queen]

The Blood King and his Queen [10]

Pairing: Bakugou x reader

Romance, Angst, Drama

Word count: 3.6K

TIGGER WARNING: 18+ scene, first time, taking virginity, vanilla sex. If you are not comfortable reading smut or are NOT 18, please read up until the line!

Summary:  From being a mere servant girl to marrying the scariest prince in existence, your world changed right before your eyes. Exchanging places with the princess, you knew, wasn’t going to be easy. But could you have found love on the way? Or was it never meant to be?

A/N: Happy reading my loves!

Thank you for helping me reach 1000+ followers! I have a follower event posted, if you haven't seen it! Requests are still open if you are interested. Rules are posted after this chapter and you can see them if you scroll down my page. Will be reblogging soon!

[previous]                                                                                               [next]

It all felt like a dream. When you woke up from the warm, sun rays, Bakugou’s dreamy face was the first thing you saw. Eyes closed without a care in the world. You finally felt a piece and that everything was turning right for you, that this was going to be your new life.

There was nothing you wanted more than for you to be in Bakugou’s arms, and that’s where you were this very instant. His arm wrapped around you in a tight, protective hold, his face just centimeters away from you, you could feel his breath tickle your skin. He looks so peaceful when he’s sleeping. So relaxed and calm. You wonder why he couldn’t look like that all the time.

But happiness and euphoria came to a halt when you both became a lot busier. Especially since the ball was right around the corner. You were lucky if you were able to even hear his voice. He would be in bed late at night and you would miss him in the mornings because of how much of an early riser he was. Sure it was disappointing now being able to see him nowadays, but after this ball, you were going to spend the rest of your life with him. So there was no need to fret over it now.

You were walking down the hallway with Mina as she was teaching you more about how this palace ran. You got an idea of how your palace ran since you were basically everywhere. Bakugou’s palace was sort of the same concept, only a few things were different. You had to learn where everything was and how to run as queen and what better way for someone to show you than Mina. She was close to the Blood Prince so she had a good idea of how the palace ran. She was telling the history of the royal family, their ups and downs and their legacy. Mina was deep into conversation when a hand covered your mouth and brought you to a secluded area nearby. You make a sound of shock, but because the hand muffled the sound of your voice, Mina didn’t notice and continued walking on.

You were expecting your back to be slammed against the wall, but you were surprised when a hand gently stopped the impact. You came face to face with the one and only Blood Prince who had a smirk on his face.

“Katsuki!” your eyes welled up with tears and you immediately pulled him in for a tight hug. God, you missed his touch, his warmth, his everything. Bakugou hugged you just as tightly. He pulled away to give you a chaste kiss upon your lips. You couldn’t help but melt into him, your knees falling weak. Thankfully, Bakugou still had a good grasp on you.

“I missed you,” he breathed, letting your foreheads rest together.

“You stole my line,” you joked, kissing him again. This time, Bakugou was smiling into the kiss.

“Shouldn’t you being your princely duties,” you reminded him, trying to pull away but Bakugou wasn’t done with you just yet. He kept trying to kiss you despite you physically pulling away to talk to him. When he started getting frustrated with your refusal to kiss him, he started attacking your jaw line and your neck.

“Katsuki~” you whined.

“Let’s just enjoy this moment. I don’t have much time before they notice I’m gone,” he said in between kisses.

“You missed me that much?” you teased and you expected Bakugou to give you some snarky remark but he admit it.

“I missed you so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he came back up to your lips, claiming you as his. He pushed your bodies together, your lips never leaving each other at that point. You both craved each other. After getting that first kiss out of the way, you weren’t afraid to kiss each other all you want. It was almost an addiction. The flavour of his lips made you crave for more. You were too immersed in each other that you didn’t notice a pink haired soldier giving you the death stare. Obviously, you weren’t going to look at her direction any time soon, so she cleared her throat, making her presence known.

“Are you done yet?” she asks, startling the both of you. You were quick to pull away from embarrassment that you got caught. But Bakugou, on the other hand, just stared at her while still saying in his pose: one arm around your waist while the other was bracing the wall. Mina didn’t hesitate to grab you, pulling you to her side.

“If you’ll excuse me, your highness, but I’ll have to take my girl back. I was in the middle of a lesson and if she’s going to be your queen, she’s gonna need to know this stuff!” she scolded her future King. She took your hand and personally escorted you away so she could finish what she was saying.

“Tch,” Bakugou smirked, finally standing tall and watched as his most trusted soldier took you away. Mina was the only person, besides Kirishima, who was allowed to be that sassy with him. He took another moment to look at your retreating figure before joining the rest of his soldiers who were resting against the wall, waiting for his highness to be done with his business.

As Mina had her hand in yours and continued to talk your head off, you kept looking back behind you at Bakugou. Mina noticed that you still weren’t paying attention and stopped in her tracks. Her eyes traveled to where yours was and her eyes softened.

“Are you listening to me?” she playfully scolded, placing both of her hand on her hips as if she was mad.

“Yes, ma’am,” you said sadly, giving her your best puppy dog eyes. Mina knew those eyes but she wasn’t going to fall for them so easily. Bakugou’s figure was quickly disappearing, but Mina wasn’t budging. So you jutted your bottom lips out, adding to the effect and pleaded to her. Mina knew that she was going to let you go but just wanted to give you a hard time.

“Alright, just one!” she allowed and your face just brightened up. You dashed down the hall, as quickly as you could in that dress, straight into Bakugou’s arms.

Bakugou didn’t sense it at first. He thought your little makeout session was the last he was going to see you until after his work was done. He wasn’t expecting you to make a run for it down the hall to him. Bakugou only turned around when he heard running coming closer to him. As soon as he turned around, you jumped into his arms and gave him one last passionate kiss.

Mina smiled softly as the sight, her heart full of happiness and love for the both of you. Kirishima and the boys looked away respectfully to give you guys space. Sero had to slap Denki’s face away because he was just staring so obviously.

Before Bakugou could relax into the kiss, you already pulled away and returned to Mina’s side. For the first time in his life, he had no words to say. He could only stare at you in disbelief, but in the good way. He smiled, shaking his head and continued on his way in an incredibly good mood.

You returned to Mina’s side, feeling accomplished and you both giggled like little girls.

“Okay, okay. You’ve had your fun, your highness. But I really need to tell you about this war because I think it’s so interesting and I think you’d really like it. So…” Mina babbled on, getting really excited to talk about the history of the Kingdom. Of course you were listening but your mind still wandered to a particular blonde prince that had your heads in the clouds.

You were back in Bakugou’s room, getting ready for bed. You looked in the mirror, brushing your hair out and lost in thought. The date until you officially marry Bakugou was fast approaching and still, you hadn’t told him your biggest secret. Whether you tell him now or later, he was going to be angry. Nothing was happening yet. You don’t think the real princess knows. If she did, you were sure you’d be back at the palace by now. So were you safe? There is never going to be a right time to tell him. But was it best that you took this secret to your grave? Could you handle all the guilt? No. You had to tell him. Tonight, you decided.

You had just finished brushing out your hair when you saw Bakugou enter your room, making you gasp in surprise.

“You’re back already?” you asked, getting up to greet him at the door. He welcomed you with open arms, taking in your scent.

“I’ve got to get plenty of rest for tomorrow,” he said. Ah, that’s right. The ball to celebrate your engagement was tomorrow. Already?

“Oh, so you didn’t come back early because you missed me but because you were getting ready for tomorrow. I see,” you huffed playfully, crossing your arms and walked away. Bakugou grabbed your arm before you could walk completely away from him and pulled you in close.

“Stop. You know I missed you,” he said seriously. Your hand touched his bare chest, his warm radiating from his body made your heart race. No matter how many time you could see him shirtless or how many times you’ve touched him, it would still bring butterflies to your stomach.

The same thing could be said for Bakugou. It didn’t help that you were wearing a loose, fitting nightgown, leaving everything up for the imagination. Granted, he had already seen your naked body once, but it was only a glimpse. He didn’t get a good look before so he could only imagine what it would be like when you were under him, taking your naked form all in.

Bakugou scoops your face in his large palms, bringing you close to him until he places his lips on yours, the fluttering feeling in your stomach only intensifying. He broke the kiss for both of you to catch your breaths and claimed your lips as his again. His kisses felt different, like they had a purpose. His hands started roaming around your body, making you feel hot all over. It started on your back, then slowly caressed down to your waist and then over the curves of your ass. Your mind was filled with thoughts of him that it was driving you mad.

Bakugou wasn’t satisfied with just kissing you. He was craving more. Hungry for more, he moved on to kiss your neck but you tried to stop him.

“Wait, I need to tell you something first,” you grabbed onto his shoulders, but the way he moved his lips and how his tongue swiped against your skin was making you almost forget what you were about to say.

“Do you trust me?” he breathed, detaching from your neck momentarily.

“O-Of course I trust you. But it’s kind of important,” you said.

“Kind of. Surely it can wait till the morning,” Bakugou continued attacking you with kisses.

“But Katsuki-” Bakugou interrupted you by completely stopping his actions to look you dead in the eyes with the most serious expression.

“Do you trust me?” he asks again. You stared into those crimson orbs of his and sighed.

“I trust you. But-” you couldn’t finish your thought because Bakugou had turned you around so that you could see yourself in the mirror.

“Whatever it is you have to say, it can wait till morning. Right now, to me, there’s nothing more important than making sure you feel like a queen,” he declared, looking at you from the mirror.

---------------------------------------

Bakugou starts kissing your neck again, his soft lips coming into contact with your bare skin sent chills down your spine. You allowed yourself to submit to his touch, closing your eyes to heighten your senses to his touch.

Gently and deliberately, his hands moved to the back of your gown, untying the bow. He fingers wrapped around the silk fabric, feeling every knot come undone. He goes slow, feeling the curvature of your waist, then your lips, then all the way back to your shoulders. He takes his time removing your gown, admiring your bare shoulders and back that were now exposed. Your gown falls with a soft swish to the floor. The cold air made you shiver but Bakugou made up for it by his roaming hands that were so warm to the touch.

He feels up on your naked body again, this time roaming up the front, groping your breasts in his hands and then caressing your neck. His mouth moved from your neck to your shoulders. You could feel his tongue swipe against your skin for a more tingling sensation. You didn’t want to waste another minute. You turn around and kissed him. He holds you tightly in his arms, kissing you back with the most love. You pull him closer to you, guiding him to the bed.

You fell onto the bed, his arms falling on both sides of your head. Bakugou climbs on top of you, removing his cape swiftly without disconnecting the kiss. He then scoops you up in his arms, you hands fall to rest on his cheeks and the back of his neck. Your tongues tangoed together in a lover’s dance.

God, what was happening right now? You were completely naked, Bakugou was half naked at the moment. The ambiance of the room was intense and clearly getting more heated by the second. You had no idea what you were doing nor did you know what was going to happen. Everything was happening so fast, you didn’t have time to think. All you knew is that you didn’t want to stop. Your lower region became numb and tingly. You’ve never felt this sensation before. Everything was so new. Your mind was all fuzzy with thoughts of him, it was driving you crazy.

One hand roamed down to your waist while the other hand was busy doing something else. You could hear him fiddling around with his pants and the sound of it coming off. Almost immediately you could feel something hard hit your inner thighs. You jumped in shock, only imagining what it was.

You didn’t know anything about sex. You were so coped up in the palace walls and you weren’t educated on anything. The only thing you remember growing up was that you shouldn’t show your body to anybody but your partner. And that was only if you were married. But what were you doing now? You weren’t not married yet Bakugou was devouring you all over. His touch was so addicting and he was touching you in all of the right places. An unfamiliar feeling started in the pit of your stomach and there was an aching feeling in between your legs.

Bakugou broke away from the breathless kiss, saliva connecting your tongues together. He takes this time to admire your bare body. He never noticed how curvaceous you were, you were just perfect. Your chest was heaving up and down, making his eyes move to the mounds of your breasts. Your nipples were erect from how turned on you were feeling. Bakugou couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight. Then he ventured lower and he almost groaned when your legs were already spread, ready to take him in. It was making him even more hard.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful,” he whispers. He licks his hand and started pumping his cock. If he didn’t do something soon, his cock would explode for being neglected. He moves closer to your entrance but before he could put it in, you stop him by putting your hands on his chest.

“What are you doing?” you asked, panic starting to rise in you.

“You trust me, don’t you?” he asks. You nod your head. “I promise, I’ll make you feel so good. It’ll hurt for just a bit.” He warned. You take a deep breath, putting all your trust in him. He glances up at you. When you looked ready, he slid his dick inside you, all of it and fast. You take a sharp intake, surprised by his action and how much it hurt. So much so that you feel it in your throat. You grab onto his forearms for dear life. He leans down into you and whispers in your ear.

“Breathe, my princess. Just breath,” he tries to direct you. And so you do as you’re told. Bakugou doesn’t move and just stays still to let you adjust to his size. Slowly, you start to relax. You let your shoulders fall and allow your body to fully ease. The tightness around his cock eventually became looser. That indicated to Bakugou that that was a sign to move. Bakugou slowly thrusts into you. The feeling of pain was still there in the start, but the more you relaxed, the more you felt that pain turn into pleasure.

You started to moan, your eyes rolling in the back of your head. You’ve never felt like this before. It was all new, but making you crave more of his touch.

Bakugou groans loudly at the pleasure. He loved the sounds coming out of your mouth, the loved how your tits bounced up and down from each thrust. But he loved how you clenched around him more. Fuck, he wasn’t expecting you to be so tight. You felt so warm and despite not prepping you beforehand, you were so wet. The sounds of your slick folds meeting his cock were sinful. Suddenly, Bakugou snaps his hips into you, making him go deeper inside you. You moaned loudly and threw your head back.

“You like that?” Bakugou’s voice was raspy. You nod your head enthusiastically, almost impatiently.

“I love that,” you respond. “Do it again.” You begged. Bakugou smirks and does it again. He lets his cock be free from your clench before slamming back into you. You moan loudly again and clench around him even tighter.

“Fuck,” he curses, continuing to slam his hips into you.

Your servant girls were nosy, as all servants were. They wanted to know the gossip. The girls were right at your door, ears pressed against the giant wooden frame. They were listening in and giggling to each other. Two masculine figures appeared behind them, clearing their throats intentionally. The mighty soldiers, Kirishima and Denki, made their presence clear. They looked intimidating, arms crossed against their chest to look cool, or at least Denki was. The girls bowed their heads and scurried off. Some of them looked back to see both of them guarding the door to give you two privacy. Denki took notice of some of the girls and gave them a flirty wave. They giggled again before leaving their sight. Denki smirked and tried to give Kirishima fist, but Kiri denied it, smacking his hand away with an eye rolls and shake of the head. Denki shrugs his shoulder and put his hands on his belt.

Bakugou thrusts into you with more force and more power than before, moans are filling the air, both yours and his. You claw at his back trying to get something to grab but you’re just leaving markings on him, which he doesn’t mind. All of a sudden, Bakugou pulls out, panting and clear frustration painted all over his face.

“Fuck, not yet,” he panted, holding his cock in his hands. You didn’t know what he meant by that, but you whimpered at the loss of contact. Wanting to feel something, you grabbed his face and brought him in for a kiss. The prince groans into the kiss, that being his last straw. He pulled out wanting to last longer, but seeing that you were impatient and wanting more, he had to please his princess. He brought your legs around his shoulder and thrusted into you, not giving you time to breath.

“Mhm, ah!” you groaned, separating from the kiss. You felt excitement rapidly grow in your lower region, a feeling so pleasurable you had no idea how to take it.

“Wait, Katsuki. I feel too good,” you warned him in between moans.

“I’m almost there, too,” he said, going faster to chase his high.

“Ah! Fuck, wait! K-Katsuki! AH!” The pleasure was almost too much for you. The feeling was getting larger and larger until you couldn’t take it anymore and just let go. You threw your head back and clenched your eyes so hard you saw stars. Your pussy clenched around his cock so tightly that it was Bakugou’s turn to let go. With one last groan, your walls were coated in a thick, hot, white substance.

You both stood still, able to finally catch your breath. Bakugou leaned down to touch noses with you, his beath on yours. You were so high on cloud nine that you didn’t think before speaking.

“I lo-” you began but quickly realized what you were about to say. You put your hand over your mouth to prevent you from saying those three magical words. Don’t say it, you thought. If you said it, you’d never be able to take it back. Bakugou takes both of your hands and pinned them above your head.

“I love you, too,” he leans down to whisper in your ear. Tears brimmed in your eyes, threatening to spill out. Because you felt so happy. So happy that you didn’t want this dream to end.

A/N: Spoiler alert: enjoy this chapter. Enjoy every chapter so far. All that serotonin you’re feeling? Soak it all up. Because this is the last fluff chapter you will ever get 😊

If you’d like to be added to the tag list, just let me know! And I’d love to know your thoughts, what you think of the series so far and what your expectations are for upcoming chapters! Do you want a happy or sad ending? What angsty scenes are you anticipating? What do you not want to happen?

Don’t forget! My requests are open until May 9th!

1. Send in a request or headcannon of any Boku no Hero or Haikyuu characters

2. I prefer angsty requests! As for headcannons, I'm down with any genre. If you are sending in a request, please be as descriptive as possible! Its hard to write when the topic is so broad!

3. FYI if alot of the requests are the same, I will most likely combine them all or only do one or two of them since I dont want to repeat alot of the same topics. It'll get boring: not only for the reader but for me as well

4. ❌No NSFW! Not experienced enough but I can hint at some sexiness

It would be really cool if you could send in some requests! I’ll be doing all of them to the best of my ability, you won’t be disappointed!

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[christ0pher-evans]

Be Still

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader Warnings: 18+ Smut / Angst / Mentions of panic attacks and nightmares Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: This was written for @the-iceni-bitch's 1k challenge! Thank you to Natalie for this chance to spread my writing wings a bit further! &congratulations on 1000 followers, may there be many more <3 Please reblog and like🖤

 ♡

Prompt - "I'm thrilled by the still of your hand"

2:15am  You squint your eyes open, suddenly very aware of the cold chill washing over you. Looking down, you realise the cause of your problem; falling asleep naked from your romantic evening with Steve was intimate but now bothersome as you were coverless and freezing. Glancing over at your sleeping beau, you could see the covers entangled with his legs but the rest of his naked form was exposed. You steal a moment to admire his beauty amongst the tranquility. 

Carefully reaching down to grab the covers, Steve’s leg twitches violently and you retract quickly. You wait a minute, worried you’d disturbed him from his slumber. 

You knew Steve hadn't been sleeping well since the events in Wakanda, since what people were nicknaming ‘The Blip’. Still ingrained in your mind was the sickening look on his face as he walked back into your home, petrified his worst fears had come true. You had walked into the lounge, nursing a very strong coffee when you saw your defeated fiancé leaning against the wall. Dropping your coffee instantly, you ran straight into his arms, determined to never let him go again. Thus, leading to your earlier romantic date night. A tradition started when Steve came home, where you’d both agreed time was too precious to neglect the importance of one another. A promise to devote even more time and effort to your relationship, a vow to cherish and appreciate. 

Withdrawing from your recollection, Steve was now fidgeting frantically and mumbling incoherent words to himself. You wondered if he was awake, but with the glare of the street light in your darkened room, it was obvious he was still asleep. You could also see a heavy layer of sweat coating his forehead and a small amount pooling in between his defined chest; it was unsettling and you knew you had to coax him awake. 

Gently placing one hand on his shoulder, you used the other to lace your fingers through his resting on his stomach to show you weren’t there to hurt him. Tracing patterns over the dewy skin on his shoulder and squeezing his hand gently, you hoped it was enough to wake him or at least draw him out of his nightmare and back into a blissful slumber. 

Before you could even check if your soothing actions were working, Steve shot straight up, clearly reaching an extremity in his nightmare. Watching him stare forward like he was completely alone, you nervously picked at your nails waiting for his composure, not wanting to startle him further. Soon he was panting heavily and squinting his eyes closed, rubbing them furiously as if to remove the dark images from his mind, evidently swept up in his hysteria. Starting to realise he wasn’t nearing the end of his torment, you felt unnerved about how you would draw him back to reality. 

“Steve..”, you barely whispered, hoping the sound of your voice was enough comfort but it just drifted into the void. 

The trembling of Steve’s hunched frame and the vice like grip on the covers exposed the unravelling of a broken man, a distinct onslaught of a panic attack. You knew you had to act fast, terrified of what could happen or what Steve would do if this escalated further. 

To bring Steve back to reality, you knew you had to take a risk. A bold move that would quite literally shake him back into the real world. 

In one swift movement, you were straddling Steve’s naked form and gripping his face in your hands, forcing him to look you in the eyes. 

“Steve, listen to the sound of my voice!”

“Baby, I’m here,, you’re ok!”

“I love you, I’m right here, you’re safe!” 

The feeling of your heart thumping out your chest spread through your body, all the way to your fingers as they continued to grip his face. Time had ultimately frozen whilst you waited for Steve’s reaction. 

Hands quickly shifted to grasp your waist, instinctively pulling you closer as Steve found composure in his breaths and a softness in his movements. Staring into his eyes, you found tenderness and infatuation. Steve was looking at you like you were his lifeline; his strength and weakness simultaneously. 

A barbaric flood of emotions coursed through you as Steve’s grip turned possessive, pulling you tighter against him and kissing you with a distinct behaviour; urgency. You could feel the desperation as your lips fervidly crashed together, tongues instantly swirling around one another as you united with weighted emotions. Throwing your arms around Steve’s neck, you pulled yourself impossibly closer, desperate to prove you belonged to him.

You moaned into Steve’s mouth at the feel of his cock nudging against your core. The intensity of the situation driving your need, and want, for one another. Steve deepened your kisses, biting on your lip occasionally to draw more obscene moans from you, knowing that they also turned him on.

No words were spoken, demanding touches were communicating exactly how you felt. Both already naked from the night before, Steve lifted you up and pulled you back down onto his hard cock with ease. The uncontrollable need was enough foreplay to have you both squirming for one another.

Naturally feeling the urge to pleasure Steve until he forgets his pain, you started grinding in deep circles, both of you needing to know he was filling you up completely. With a tight grip on your hips, Steve encouraged your movements and pushed himself deeper inside of you, sleekly brushing against your g-spot repeatedly. 

Fingerprint shaped bruises certain to litter your hips and red marks from intense kisses left on your chest surfaced like a plea for you to be Steve’s, a prayer for you to unconditionally belong to him. 

Keeping your grip tight on his shoulders, Steve began thrusting up into you at a fierce pace. Resting your forehead against his, your body was overwhelmed with a craving for him. The feel of him driving into you was unmatched, every thrust tipping you closer to the edge. Your back arched as Steve pushed impossibly deeper, your eyes rolling back as your head fell back in utter ecstasy. Steve moved one hand to grasp your chin to pull you back to him for an eager kiss.

Your kisses became choked with lust against each others lips as you spoke the first words since this carnal display of passion began, “I’m yours forever.”

Continuing his unforgiving pace which was now spurred on by your words, the rouse of your orgasm quickly rushed to the surface. The filthy moans veiled by Steve’s skin pounding against your own was stimulating you further. As you etched sloppy kisses on his neck and shoulder, the gentle warmth of Steve’s breath graced your body; an intimate reminder of your all-consuming love. 

It was then that you realised this was never about pleasure, this was Steve seizing every shred of intimacy between you to ground him, to draw him to you like an anchor. A rushed need of passion to destroy his dark thoughts. 

Your body was now so overwhelmed with euphoria and emotion that it felt like it was going to shatter. One of your hands left the support of Steve’s shoulder and fumbled down towards your clit, now desperate for release. Steve’s thrusts were starting to falter so you take over, one hand sloppily tracing circles on your clit whilst the other gripped tightly to Steve’s neck, bouncing up and down on his cock. Steve’s hands were exploring your skins surface like it was the first time, gripping at your hips, caressing your breasts and embracing your face. As your own body started to waver, you settled on passionately grinding till you were both cumming together. 

Delicately persisting with your movements, you both descended from the culmination of impassioned highs. Your body convulsing as your orgasm continued to burn through you, Steve’s body also jolting with pleasure. 

The only sounds in your bedroom were ragged breaths as you rested against Steve’s chest. Your arms lazily slung around his neck as you gently ran your hand through his hair. Eventually, you raise your head and look Steve in the eyes, brushing your nose softly against his own. 

Feeling slightly concerned with his inattentive gaze compared to his usual tender aftercare, you raised your left hand, smiling as you admired your ring like usual before gently placing your hand on Steve’s cheek. 

The softness of your other hand placed over his heart, the tenderness of a perfect kiss and with the love in your eyes, you were determined to subdue his thoughts. The intimate touches bought a clarity back into Steve's eyes, a knowing that he was always going to be home when he was with you, a stillness in his heart.