#but the closest thing we get is some very vague aspects in one or two shadow library texts and that's about it

[covesdadappreciation]

[Going through basically every step] Renee Murray x FTM Reader

Fluff

I always refer to Renee and [Name] as their current pronouns and will only refer to them as their former terms when referring to something they said when they were younger/at the age they used those terms. 

Heads up, Writing this is confusing for me because the OL’s school grade system is vague for my understanding, so the timeline might be confusing or it’s just me…

[Name] and Renee.

The two most fucking oblivious people in the whole world.

Even Tamarack noticed. 

Renee and [Name] have been the closest of friends since elementary school. 

Sure, not at the very beginning when they met considering that [Name] was born female and only realized he was trans in High school. Renee, back in the 5th grade when she’d met [Name], wasn’t a huge fan of girls. She thought that girls were a distraction, envy covered with disinterest in anyone who identified as a girl and some internalized misogyny perchance. 

It only took a couple weeks for Renee to finally get used to [Name]’s attempts in starting their friendship, and I mean it took effort. Renee’s stubborn, no doubts about it. So when they met [Name], all she could think was ‘what a dumb girl. I’m never going to be friends with her!’ and made it their mission. 

Unsurprisingly, [Name] can also be stubborn with a mission. 

He made origami animals, brought a handful of nature from Tamarack’s backyard, and post-it notes to put in an envelope. Then it would be safely secured in [Name]’s bag until Renee would visit her mom’s classroom or when the group would hang out to be delivered into Renee’s hands. 

And for 3 weeks, this went on and on until Qiu convinced Renee to at least try being friends, which somehow worked. 

[Name] took the illusory award of Renee’s friendship with pride, making sure to enjoy every aspect. [Name] had invited her to his house countless times, had figured out every single little thing that Renee enjoys or hates based on observation (because god forbid Renee ever talk about her feelings), made gifts for her, and visited her class whenever possible as the years passed on. In return, Renee gradually began to return those actions, and more. Inside jokes, getting each other food, leaning on each other both physically and emotionally, and always being protective of one another. 

So imagine Renee’s horror when [Name] was starting to “haunt” her mind. [Name] was suddenly the person that Renee imagined being roomies with, wanting to hang out with him constantly, occasionally getting jealous if anyone ever tried to get as close as she and [Name] are.

“I can’t like her!”  She had complained, “She’s… her.” Renee didn’t want to lose her best friend. The one person who she understood and cared for the most, more than she did for Qiu. Hell, anyone else should’ve been her crush, but [Name]? This was going to fucking hurt if this goes wrong. So Renee made a promise to herself that this growing realization was never leaving the mind palace. This is gonna be a pain.

Little did she know that [Name] was juggling those same thoughts as well… just… differently. 

“They’re never going to like me! I’m going to have to explain so much. What if they don’t like me? What if my transition changes things?” [Name] doubted, “and then what? We just, what, go on dates? Or would we stay only friends? No one’s prepared me for this!”

So baby steps.

[Name] came out to Renee, Tamarack, and Qiu on bowling night that [Name] forced them on.

“I’m trans.” He states simply as he came back from a roll.

“You missed.” “Congrats!” “What?” The trio all said in a jumbled mess. [Name]’s eyes were mainly stuck on Renee’s reaction, noticing how her look turned soft. No judgment, no bitter or distant look… more so a sense of pride and ease. [Name] sat back down next to Renee while it was Qiu’s turn, getting a firm comforting side hug from Renee. 

She’s the prettiest person [Name] had ever seen.

And [Name] was the most handsome person Renee had ever seen.

Two years later, on Renee’s birthday, [Name] was the last person to stay for the party. The both of them sitting on Renee’s front porch, a smoky feel to the autumn air, faint smell of cinnamon coming from the Murray household. Renee paused for a moment, opening and closing her mouth, trying to find the right words for something. 

“How’d you figure out your whole… trans thing?” Renee asks softly, the words barely wanting to escape her. 

“Oh- uhm” [Name] straightens his back, furrowing his brows to think.

Renee catches how sudden the question is, groaning into their hands before muttering out a quick “Sorry, sorry. You don’t have to answer- and maybe wrongly worded, I just… you’re the only one I could imagine asking this to, so…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, Renee! Let me think” [Name] reassures, looking away before explaining every thought and personal feeling that they felt safe to share with Renee. A small gut feeling in [Name] knew there was a reason she had asked, but he knew it wasn’t his place to prod. Even if there was a cautious approach to her voice that probably said it all in hindsight. All [Name] knew was that he had to give her space and a chance to open up if necessary.

“--So yeah. That’s when I decided I had to tell you guys.” [Name] shrugged, looking back at Renee. 

A small moment of silence followed afterwards, uncertainty painting Renee’s face. It almost made [Name] wonder if he said something wrong until he felt Renee place her head on his shoulder. 

“...Thank you for telling me” she exhaled sharply, her upper body going slightly limp as to try and relax herself.

Renee was the kindest soul that [Name] had ever met.

And [Name] was the most patient boy Renee had ever met. 

Once in their 20s, high school over with and their futures now fully in their own hands, the dating rumors were finally over with. Sure, Qiu and Tamarack were the main instigators, but it was surely not because they saw something that Renee and [Name] refused to see!

So what if Renee finally came out and the first person they told was [Name] and they both went out to celebrate at the diner? So what if Renee and [Name] were making plans to room together in an apartment? So what if [Name] bakes sweets for Renee, and Renee cooks for [Name]? And what if Renee and [Name] are each other’s closest “oh-so-definitely platonic soulmates”?

It isn’t like Renee had told Qiu about her crush, nor did [Name] tell Tamarack…

Definitely not.

No.

Never. 

It’s not like Qiu and Tamarack connected the dots in middle school and have tried everything in their power to get the two of them to finally just get together. 

—

“You have to tell her” Tamarack huffed, messaging her forehead, “She totally likes you!”

“It’s going to eat me alive if she rejects me! What if we stop being friends?” [Name] whined.

“What if you guys end up getting together and having the most loving relationship for the rest of your lives?” Tamarack exclaimed.

—

“How would I even start? Just go up and say ‘I’ve had a crush on you since we were in middle school! Surprise!’” Renee ran a hand through her hair and tugged lightly, 

“Yes!” Qiu yelled out, “That’s almost perfect!” 

—

“I can’t fuck this up, Tammy” [Name] sighed

“Then don’t. Go up to her.”

—

Imagine me this. It’s a Sunday night in Golden Grove’s park after dinner at a restaurant. Two people with one single goal in mind. Confess their fucking hearts out. Both of them unusually dressed up more formal than normal, fidgeting hands, nervous glances and laughter, but the comfortableness between two people who have known each other for years makes it bearable. 

These love dorks were [Name] and Renee. 

The only ones sitting on a bench, sitting in odd positions but deeming it comfortable somehow, (though it may be the reason they have back problems) and on the verge of exploding over how terrifying and exciting this is. 

“Renee-” “[Name]” They start

“Shit, sorry. Go ahead” [Name] bowed his head slightly. Renee cleared her throat, “Right, so… I think that you should know that I think your presence is great.”

“That’s good to know” [Name] chuckles,

“...Would you say you feel about the same?”

“I would die for you” [Name] states seriously at first, blank face before smiling to make sure that it was a lighthearted comment (but he probably would,) “But yeah, of course I enjoy your presence. We’ve been partners in crime for… basically our entire lives”

“Right right-”

“And you know, we might as well be together for the rest of our lives because we’re gonna live together, and I like you, and if you like me too we could get better tax returns if we ever got married–” [Name] began to ramble.

“What?” Renee raised a brow.

“I mean- maybe you don’t like me! We could still get married to get those tax returns- or not get married at all!” [Name] panics throughout the confession, “And by me liking you isn’t because of the tax returns! I really do just like you, I have for years, like middle school or highschool, but I didn’t want to scare you away and have to make all those origami animals all over again! Fuck, this is not how I wanted this to go–”

[Name] hides his face into his hands for a moment, groaning in disbelief towards himself, “I like you. That’s what I was trying to get at. I made it a lot more difficult than needed”

“I saw that” Renee giggled, flicking [Name]’s shoulder, “That may have been the most dorkiest or worst confession I have ever heard in my entire life, I’m still debating.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-” [Name] was interrupted.

“Now I’m not saying I don’t like you, [Last Name]. I’m just saying that your confession was out of this world. Not that I was going to do better than that either, but you know,” Renee shrugs, “I like you. I have for years now too…”

[Name] finally gains the courage to lift his eyes up to look at Renee, “Seriously?”

“Very seriously. You’re very important to me, [Name]. The most handsome man I’ve ever met, the boy I grew to love, someone I didn’t think I’d love or wait this long for, but you made every second worth it.” Renee gives a small smile, breathing in the foggy autumn feel. 

“I think we’re soulmates” [Name] says plainly, “Because no matter what would've happened, if in some alternate universe there was some kind of obstacle that tried to stop us from being together, we would’ve found a way back to each other no matter what. I know I would.” [Name] adds, placing his hand over Renee’s hand. 

They both exchange a gentle look, Renee’s fingers play with [Name]’s rings, intertwining their hands together. They lean in closer, and the giddy feeling of waiting after so many years practically swallows [Name] whole. 

It wasn’t a shock to find that Renee was a gentle kisser, cautious to make sure that they’re both enjoying it, occasionally splitting away and coming back, as if still starving for more affection. Eyes closed, feeling their hands still together… Each other’s first kiss. 

Two people that will always try to understand each other. Two people who don’t even need to try and find the beauty within one another because they see it constantly no matter what.

[sunderedstar]

Hello! I’m loving your Raksura core AU and I’m wondering how do Raksura age compared to humans? Like what is the human 15 years and 50 years equivalent for Raksura? I haven’t gotten to read Wells’s series yet and I couldn’t find the info online. Thank you!

Raksuran ages are...complicated 😂 Mostly because Wells herself leaves so much of it vague and up to interpretation, and in at least one key instance she outright contradicts herself badly. So friends and I have filled in the gaps with our own math and guesswork over the years. TLDR, a lotttt is covered by the fuzzy realm of "maturity," which for Raksura almost seems to have two stages? But as far as Raksura core goes, 15 is the equivalent of a 15 year old, whereas 50 is probably only just starting to cross over into not-young maturity.

For instance, you're considered no longer a fledgling and therefore eligible to get married shortly after you leave the nurseries (which we estimate around 20ish years old, for simplicity's sake, to sync with human ages). Canon has the example of Ember, who gets taken by Pearl, who is much older than him, when he's younger than Moon. Again, his exact age is never stated.

But there is also another, almost secondary sense of "coming into maturity" that doesn't seem to kick in until consorts are nearly 40 turns old, as we see with this mention of Moon coming into his power.

So! They leave the nurseries and are considered of age, young but mature. Moon, the main character, is at least 40-45 years old based on when his family died, and both he and Ember are referred to as "young consorts," as a category. Which means...if 40+ is still considered young...like, that's not middle age for them. They're just getting started.

(Fact: royal Aeriat and Arbora live longer than warriors, period. Canonical. Every warrior character in Raksura core is a tragedy waiting to happen. You're welcome. We can guess that warriors from royal clutches have the potential to last longer than warriors from Arbora clutches, since they're also bigger and stronger than the norm, but that's speculation.)

Another fact: we know that a consort who becomes a line grandfather can and will outlive everyone they've ever known and loved, even beyond the warrior problem. We're talking multiple generations-spanning lifespans, and the main example we have in Raksura canon, Stone, is still going strong as a huge dragon-bee person long after he's gone grey and outlived his queen. Again, Ms Wells refuses to put exact numbers on his age, but based on some later guesstimation, line-grandfathers have got to be lasting hundreds of years bare minimum. There is no such thing as a queen-line-grandmother equivalent. So consort line grandfathers are outliers, but they must be counted, etc etc.

Queens (such as Ice of Emerald Twilight) can and do otherwise outlive the consorts who don't transition into line grandfathers. Ice is on the verge of turning white with age, the point at which a Raksura knows they're dying, and her living first consort is mature and older than the main character, but entirely lacking in grey scales. Again, with how wide a range "maturity" covers, this type of age gap between queens and consorts seems to be relatively common.

There are also many aspects of this blurred by early installment weirdness - in the first book, Pearl is called old, but tbh, when queens and consorts have this very broad expanse covered by young/mature, Pearl is probably the closest equivalent to a middle aged cougar in my opinion? She's called (I think) three times Moon's age, as another point of comparison, which would put her at 120 years+, but she doesn't have any grey to her scales at all, that woman is in her prime. Malachite of Opal Night is described as bigger and therefore older than Pearl, and she isn't going grey yet either, she's an apex fucking predator.

The real math - the math that Ms Wells may not have intended to be literal, but which I have made the executive decision to take as literal, because it helps explain all of the above - is the fact that Merit, an Arbora described as being young, calls himself one-tenth of Flower's age.

If that is literal? If that is not hyperbole on Merit's part? If we assume that Merit is baseline 20 years old (and he's most likely a little older than that)? Then Flower died of old age when she was 200 years old.

Minimum. Likely a little older, give or take if Merit is closer to 25 or 30.

That single canonical age ratio breaks this whole thing wide open. That is the average Raksuran lifespan in a nutshell. You take that math, and apply it to line-grandfathers, as stated above, who are capable of outliving generations and generations of 200-year-old Arbora? Canon states that Indigo Cloud left the Reaches seven generations ago - and Stone was a fledgling at the time. He is still going.

If they don't get killed, Raksura live a long fucking time.

(And then Ms Wells goes and claims in the third book that the Fell last tried to invade the Reaches only 200 years ago, which makes absolutely zero sense. Actually nonsensical. Does not align with any of these age ranges or her later/short story collection timelines whatsoever. Someone tried to chart it out a while ago on Reddit, and if that was accurate, Stone could only be about 200 years old himself (if the Fell invasion coincided with the big Raksuran migration). And then the Merit:Flower age ratio falls apart as exaggeration, and everyone else collapses back down to a normal human lifespan. You'd still have seven-eight generations, but shrunk into a human-standard 200 year span, instead.)

Which would be boring. 😔✌️ So no, they age like humans until they're 20, and then live until they're 200+.

[amphiptere-art]

Ok.

The arcade Fae!

Now this is just the bare bones ideas. I might flush this out or even un-flush this out. Might decide I want less details and more freedom. Depends on how I'm feeling.

Anyways. First thing I sort of decided to do. This might be a thing I get rid of because more freedom juice. But for now it's what I have.

Basically there is a difference between modern fae and old fae. Modern fae basically are the generic storytell look that we have nowadays. Tinkerbell and nature spirits. That is their only justifications of why they're fae. Because that's what the general public of the modern day has made Fae to be. Most modern fae look like your generic Tinkerbell fairy, and they only really take care of any random nature thing. It doesn't have to be specific and usually it's their choice.

Then there is of course Old Fae. Which are a lot stranger and are made within very differencing intentions. Basically every single one of them is an aspect of something. They aren't created out of some child's idea of little fairies living in their garden. They are usually made by a similar thought process but with much more varied appearances. Plus the meaning behind them. It could be as simple as a little kid associating butterflies with playmates. Or an entire group associating something with an emotion and it taking form. Because there isn't a modern widespread interpretation that these Fae were being based off of. They can be wildly different. Usually based more so off of real animals or even just random creature features smashed together.

Anyways with those two different rules in place. I'm going to spit down what I've been thinking for everybody.

Now again. The modern Fae can really look like any sort of standard fairy. And can do about anything. Plenty of them look like standard butterflies or moths. Some of them are different. But for the most part they are small humanoids with bug wings. Plenty of them just take care of general nature. Whether that be caring for animals or plants. Some decide to be guards. Some decide to be caretakers. It's really diverse.

Meaning that characters like moon, sun, blood moon, and planet can look and do about anything. Which I haven't figured out a look for any of them, because they can be anything. Gives me a lot of avenues I have yet to explore. But it can probably be assumed that they will look unkaredistically like their normal counterparts. Since they literally can.

But! The old world fae don't run by those rules. They have to come from a specific aspect. They have to be a personification of something. Usually taking the form of an animal that people believe that aspect is best formulated in. Ergo say, a animal is running around but nobody can catch them. Soon it turns into a myth about this mysterious uncatchable beast. A fae can emerge from those myths. Usually taking root of what these people think that mysterious animal looks like. So those sort of situations. Although this can happen with an emotion and the physical aspects can be random. Usually the closest you get to a specific creature is something that person connects to.

So with the idea of old world fay down. Let's start with eclipse and go down. Because these guys need explanations. Although they still don't have much designs. Just vague ideas.

So eclipse despite already having a fae design. Being a version of Blue Moon. They are going to have a different design because they're just not the same at all. Probably a bit more dragonfly and less grasshopper. Similar but different. They were created out of the joy of children. A basic one but a good one at that. The kids just associating them with their favorite "playful bugs". Unfortunately they gained a second aspect through corruption. Basically they are old enough that this was old school superstition. And The adults of the village that Blue Moon first came from started to associate them with evil. And a different kind of fay basically came from that superstition and imprisoned them. The Eclipse that was just an aspect of childlike joy. Was suddenly corrupted by adult fears. Basically becoming a two-sided figure of childhood fear and childhood warnings.

Anyways on to the next one. Black Star. Oh he's got a dark one. I don't even know if I can explain this again without internally shuttering. To explain it as simply as possible. Black Star is the combined feelings of people who are suppressed in there expressions. I kept using the example of pride and I will use it here. Black Star is basically every single person's feelings of not being able to express their pride due to something. And in a way he is that suppression. Basically in this example. Black Star feels like a person who is suppressed in their expression. But being around humans can sometimes make it so their suppression is worse. Now I've been using pride. But this could be anything. It's just the easiest one to throw examples out for. Right now Black Star might be based off of a tiger swallow butterfly. But there's lots of different types and I haven't decided on which. Since he was created more recently. He does have that more standard human body with bug wings. It's just a bit more extravagant looking.

Pluto right now doesn't have a design. But they do have an aspect. Outrage over animal fighting. Who couldn't guess? Basically around their region was a lot of animal fighting. The animals actually created Pluto. Basically calling outrage to the woods for their mistreatment. Which is how Pluto was created. They are very violent revenge type fae. They don't like humans and don't want them near him. Due to the fact that they weren't created through human thoughts. They also struggle to communicate with any other type of fae. Plus most Fay interact with humans because they are created from their thoughts. So they don't get along anyways. Right now they're design is in the open. Probably will be some randomly scribbled sketch.

Then there's Nova. I can't say much about Nova. Because putting out his aspect might accidentally put out way too much information about his normal counterpart. So. We are just going to say he came out of an aspect of wanting power. I'm not going to say anything else. He's also probably going to be some random scribbled sketch.

There is of course Jack. He is going to be the most magical of the group. To put it very basically he was created from an old world group that heavily believed in witches wizards etc. They totally believed in the magic of the woods. And through this basic mass belief that the woods were magical. Jack was created. He has some magic over harvest. As the people wouldn't usually go over to the woods and basically ask for help from him. Asking that the woods don't intrude upon their farms. Asking that the creatures in the woods don't destroy their harvests or eat their livestock. Because of just the sheer amount of belief in Jack. He basically has control over the entire forest. This has somewhat faded with time. But he basically became the god of the forest due to this belief. So despite the fact he has lost most of the actual belief in him. He still has quite a bit of power. Mostly from cultural history that speak of his name. Even if the belief in him as an actual entity is gone. His forest has become a sanctuary for any sort of fae because of this belief. Basically it's the only place we're fae and go and not worry about fading so hard in to obscurity that they don't exist anymore. Which can happen and is usually how they die. Unfortunately most of the fay that do go into the wood only meet with him once. He also doesn't give out boons to humans anymore because of the lack of faith.

And I think that's all the old world fae. I'll have to sketch up designs and stuff. Or at least get a certain creature everybody's based off of. But this is all the explanations you need on there aspects. I'll have to make sure the tag this in my big list. Anyways! Hope you had guys have fun with all these ideas.

[heyclickadee]

Yeah, okay, here goes:

I think some fandom infighting would be less toxic if we a really understood that all of us are here for different reasons.

And I don’t just mean that different kinds of stories are going to be helpful for some and hurtful for others and vis-a-versa, or that different people are going to tell different stories, you know, differently, and that should do our best to let people enjoy things. I mean that, at the end of the day, there’s a spectrum of the parts of fandom people enjoy.

For example, I have a sibling who’s in some fandoms strictly for the transformative aspect of fandom. Canon is more like a jumping off point and, to some extent, an afterthought. Their primary interaction with whatever a fandom is centered on might be fanfiction and other fan works. The characters and world they interact with in those fandoms are often completely unrecognizable from canon. The goal is often to create characters—self-inserts or otherwise—to exist in completely new stories that are (vaguely) informed by canon, but not beholden to it in any way. Most everyone in that fandom has a self-insert OC or a Y/N. The whole point is taking something you like, or wanted to like, and shaping it to fit you better. That’s fandom for them. And that’s great!

And then there’s me, who’s almost the exact opposite. Canon is more of a focal point. I love seeing fanfiction and fanworks that completely veer away from canon events and characterization, I appreciate them, but I don’t like making them myself. I love to write, but I have a hard time writing fanfiction, I couldn’t write a fic-it-fix to save my life (no, not even in the highly unlikely hypothetical scenario where it turns out a lot of us are wrong and Tech is dead for real). The closest I get to fanfiction are either short little half analysis/half story blurb posts, or doodley fanart that’s either a theory for something I think could happen in the future in disguise, or silly drawings about scarves. I compartmentalize fanon, my headcanons, and actual canon a lot. And I love seeing people’s OC’s, including the self-insert ones, but I dont want to make one myself. I don’t want to be in the story, because it isn’t about me; one of the things I love most about interacting with fiction I didn’t write is that it helps me get outside my own head and see things from a different point of view. I write a lot of metas and theories, but my favorite thing is being able to look a story that’s completely told and done, and getting to tease it apart. And that’s also okay.

Now, the two points I’m using as examples aren’t really opposites; there’s a ton (A TON) of very good character analysis and interpretation in fanfiction, and there’s often (maybe even usually) transformative aspect to analysis/intepretation. And I’m betting that most people in fandom fall somewhere in the middle of the range between transformative and interpretive when it comes to what they like about fandom. A lot of people write great fanfiction and equally great meta posts, and honestly, I think being good at the one makes you better than the other. But they are different approaches to enjoying and interacting with fiction, and I think at least a little of the friction in fandom can come from not recognizing that we all often have different approaches to this fandom thing.

Edit: I need to also mention that when it comes to interpretation and analysis, there’s a lot of wiggle room for contradictory conclusions that are all equally valid. Do I think that interpretive conclusions not supported at all by the text exist? Oh boy howdy, yes. But I also think there’s a lot of space before you get there, and a lot of ways for even one person to interpret the same thing, let alone an entire fandom.

Edit 02; I should probably also acknowledge that, as a lifelong Darkwing Duck fan, I also really enjoy shows or even books where ‘canon’ is more like a loose set of guidelines or a basis premise and the whole idea of the show is to do wacky things with that premise. I’m way more likely to get involved in the transformative side of things when this is the case.

[foundationsofdecay]

So let's play

In Sundowning, we get a lot of references to Sleep and Vessel's relationship being like a game they play. It's violent, sure, it has its highs and lows and winning and losing seasons, but even though the most hardcore sports fan may insist their preferred sport is more than just a game... maybe it can eclipse multiple roles, but that doesn't mean that it isn't still a game to be played at the end of the day. It's something both teams are knowingly and willingly engaged in.

Blood Sport, of course, is the most obvious example of this in Sundowning. Rolling the numbers, playing with chance, playing over and over despite knowing you're never going to be the winning team at the end of the season, those are all very prominent aspects to that song. Take Aim is debatable, depending on if you wanted to stretch that to an archery or sharpshooting perspective, though the image of Vessel with the arrow on his head can be a compelling one. In Give, we have talk of fighting fair, a relationship that's like open warfare but uses similar language to war games. More explicitly we see this in Sugar - "you play your twisted little game", "you must be crazy if you think that I will give up the game".

Here's the thing, though: forgive me if I'm mistaken, but I don't think we get a single lyric in a single track on TPWBYT that could be described in this manner. None at all. The absolute closest thing I can think of is vague references to warfare again in something like Missing Limbs - "my polite offenses won't last for very long", for example - but the idea that this is some kind of sport they're engaged in has long since vanished, and it's dubious whether or not he's even referring to Sleep so much as the heavens brought up in the previous verse.

Then again, TPWBYT is pretty unique in its tone and language, or at least marks a major departure from what was established in Sundowning.

Yet, even the two singles dividing those two albums don't use this language. In something like Jaws you can find references to play, but these are far more one-sided. Being "caged and always provoked by prey left unattended" is partly a rather impotent cry and partly an invocation of the image of a child pouring salt over a slug or pulling legs off of beetles. In this game, only one person in truly playing, and what kind of game is that, really?

Given that, what about TMBTE? Were the singles and album after Sundowning a momentary pause, a change in perspective on their interaction based on the broader concept that comes back into the previous focus when we reach the third album?

Well... no. You can see last vestiges of it in something like Chokehold's "you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood", but the duality that was once there is completely gone, just like we saw in Jaws, here more akin to dog fights than anything. You get references to hunting in Aqua Regia, but not of the competitive type either. Perhaps if you framed it in the sense of a game of life and death, but there's an animal quality to that, the result of a force of nature rather than something they willingly and knowingly engaged in like in Sugar.

So, what is it, then? Is Blood Sport the last time we ever see their relationship in that light, or at least the last direct acknowledgement of it? Blood Sport is in and of itself an introspective piece, reading more as internal monologue than dialogue. Though, as said at the outset, even though it's an admission of loss that doesn't necessarily mean the game is going to suddenly end. What, then? Did the game actually end there, or did it stop feeling like a game and more like an obligation? If you didn't call the game, you have to decide: will you save yourself the trouble and refuse to put up a fight, or keep fighting anyways? Do you end it now, or do you let it drag out until the end?

[aroaessidhe]

Hi so!!! Sorry if this is a really impossibly ambiguous and vague request, but I just had to ask for recommendations. I've really struggled to find aro/ace fiction I relate to, because almost all that I've read fit into one of 2 characters: fantasy story where the character is only incidentally a-spec and it doesn't seem to affect them at all, or extremely 'realistic' modern contemporary fiction where everyone's super neurotypical and comfortable with themselves. Do you know of any aro/ace (1/2)

books that go for a more... artistic tone, if that makes sense? Really sorta trying to think about what it means to be aspec, and how it affects your life, and create something really emotional with that? Because that's what I'm really missing, and what makes me feel so lonely as an aro/ace. For example, I really enjoyed Loveless, vol 2 of the Jughead revival, and Todd Chavez from Bojack Horseman. And... that's sorta it. I want an aroaceness that is weird but Meaningful, I guess??? Maybe...?;;;

Hi! I will try my best!

I guess I sort of know what you mean about being 'artistic' but am not sure if there's much that truly fits that - some that are introspective about being aroace, maybe not so much on the weird side though. (I agree that we're severely lacking in deep complex books About being aroace)

To be quite honest the very first thing that comes to mind is Koisenu Futari, which is not a book* - it's a jdrama about two aroaces deciding to live together and how being aroace affects their lives, and finding their passions in life. absolute comfort show, have watched multiple times, obsessed w it. (*well, it it originally a book but isn't translated to eng)

Am thinking more in the aro/aroace direction here, as there are definitely a bunch of ace books that go into detail a lot about how being ace affects their life - but it's often in relation to dating, which I assume you're not looking for. Most of these are still like, aspec-ness is just one of the aspects of the narrative, not the sole focus unfortunately

Mostly-contemporary stories, that deal with amatonormativity/aroace experiences:

Other People's Butterflies - this is similar to Loveless imo, in terms of being about a teen figuring out she's aroace

We Go Forward - novella about two young women who meet travelling in europe and become friends, one is aroace [this is free to read]

The Rhythm of My Soul - YA about two aroace dancers wanting to get into a prestigious romantic-ballet company; goes into their experiences of both figuring out their sexuality and experiences quite a bit. a bit of a thriller with a lot of ballet-school-drama , and the writing is a little messy imo but I did enjoy some aspects of it

Breasts and Eggs - adult literary fiction, the MC is ace, maybe arospec? (there is a bit of an almost-romance in one section) while it doesn't go deep into directly addressing aspec experiences, a lot of it is about the MC considering donor conception, and people not liking that she wants to have a child without having a partner, and similar experiences of womanhood/motherhood while not being interested in sex/relationships. I have mixed feelings about some aspects but it may be the closest to what you're looking for!

Summer Bird Blue - the main focus of the plot is family and grief, but part of the MCs journey is questioning if she's aroace

Funeral Girl - the MC is ace (and implied aro), her main journey is dealing with her extreme anxiety about death and the future, and while her being aspec is not really a focus, it feeds into that a little and is brought up from time to time. (this book emotionally destroyed me a bit lol)

Every Bird A Prince - this is middle grade, so it's focused more on the tween self-discovery side of being aro and amatonormativity, but I really loved it. (about half the plot is this, half is fantasy-ish)

Goddess Of The Hunt - this is a poetry collection about an aroace Artemis. obviously not super comprehensive since it's short and poetry but might be of interest! (it's been a while since I read it)

a few fantasy/genre books with aro characters that talk about aro experiences more than average, though of course it's still not the focus of the plot:

Fire Becomes Her - has a demiromantic MC who's getting out of a relationship and finds a QPR, so there's some discussion of aro experiences in the narrative

Royal Rescue - fantasy story with a tower-rescue matchmaking system that the aroace MC is forced into, but escapes and dismantles the system, so his experiences with amatonormativity are at the forefront (if a little dramatised)

The Grimrose Girls - contemporary fantasy, one of the 4 MCs is aroace and her storyline deals with her experiences and how it effects her, moreso in the negative so far (which I actually like, because as you've said so many books just have it incidentally mentioned)

Baker Thief - one of the two MCs is aro bi, and they get in a qpr with the other MC, so there's some exploration of identity there. there's other aro characters too. (see also the author's City of Spires series, which is high fantasy & has various aspec characters discussing their identities and life)

Not Even Bones (trilogy) - they never self-identify as aroacespec, but both MCs clearly are by book 3. it seems like they get together in book 2 but in the 3rd they're both like, actually lol I'm not attracted to you like that, I've just never been able to have a friend I care about this much before, lets stay together as friends, and talk a bunch about amatonormativity

there's definitely a bunch more of this kind of thing but my memory is hazy as to how much things are explored, and it's probably not quite what you're looking for, but hey!

hopefully there's something here that seems like it might be of interest! and if anyone else has suggestions please add, I'm not great at remembering fine details of how identity is explored and discussed if it's been years since I've read it

[vasito-de-leche]

also, also —

I wrote out so many quotes 'cause your language is beautiful and you manipulate it to express complicated figures with simple words so easily is breathtaking. SO I took many quotes and one seriously got on my mind

"would you forgive him just as readily if he were to kill someone in front of you?" I feel like I'd need you elaborate on that one. The thought looks curious as an idea for a situation but at the same time I understand how easily forgiving reader would be borderline ignoring severance of the situation(maybe??? Im still not sure how this works since we got fans already knowing he unalives ppl easily in the first place + the whole setting does collocate with high death rate so...) and on the other hand, abandoning him is just gameover. So I thought the closest to actually getting through this situation without being too unrealistic would be two options

First one is probably classical "y/n already knew it before and them getting close to FMN was with that fact taken into account" and the second one is (mourning the loss of life then) turning to him to adress the issue and try to figure some other ways to "win" without killing anybody(paralyze potion??? More mind games? idk). As if it's _our_ problem and not just his. tldr: jokes on him we are not getting off of that ship.

sorry for this getting too big. you've awakened a dog and it's rabid

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS, I LOVE LOVE LOVE DISCUSSING THINGS IN-DEPTH WITH PEOPLE! this is us right now, we're sitting and talking about FMN's unstable mental health together and we're holding hands and we're having fun

when I wrote that oneshot, I wanted to keep everything as vague as possible when it came to the reader - this includes their involvement with FMN's and how they tackle the ticking bomb that is his personality and moral compass!

the only thing regarding the reader that I wanted to come across is that the reader cares about him to some degree - the depths of those feelings are pretty much up to you and how you feel about FMN

the SECOND thing I wanted to come across is the fact that FMN lives in his own head, so everything HE perceives about the reader is either projection or wishful thinking, like. you CANNOT take him at face value because everything he thinks and says is a contradiction. he's obsessed with you but both denies it and revels in it, he spends so much time observing you but also misses INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS things about you. he loves you and he hates you. etc etc.

so when FMN starts thinking all that shit about how would you react if he were to kill someone in front of you, that's all intrusive thoughts. they make no sense and are fueled by impulse and things he doesn't actually want to engage in (but might, just because he's one hair away from constantly ruining his own life in one way or another, FMN is self-destructive above all else)

the message underneath is that he simply just wants to keep being awful and irredeemable because he wants to show you that he's ugly inside and outside because he's STILL pretending to be a smooth and very hinged person. it wasn't meant to establish that the reader NEVER saw him kill or commit any other atrocities, or that they're willingly blind or anything else - again, those aspects are left vague for whoever reads this to fill in the blanks AND FMN cannot be trusted in here, especially when reading his POV

ultimately, I can't start elaborating on how the reader would react if they saw FMN kill people fireworks style after this oneshot - because YOU are the reader, I don't control your thoughts or perception. in this oneshot, the character of the "reader" lacks any sort of backstory, motivations, or any solid info to even start thinking if they'd forgive FMN or abandon him or whatever, if that makes sense. I didn't establish if they're an arcanist or human, if they're mixed or infected, if they're willingly siding with Manus or are blind to FMN's affiliations with them, etc. it's all up to you in the end! you get to pick how you'd react in the aftermath!

if we were talking about more specifics like, "how about a reader who rejects the foundation and believes in manus?" or "can you write about a human reader caught up in the crossfire?". those things I can deffo work with because there's context for me to start from

hope this made sense, and ty for the asks!! always a treat to see more FMN fans <3

[navree]

If u coukd rewrite hotd what would u change qnd how would u rewrite it?

So, I'm gonna set some limits on myself and decide to follow the vague outline of the show, including the amount of time jumps. Ideally, if we lived in a fantasy land and I'd been made top showrunner (HBO it's not too late I don't need that much money), season 1 would have either been all Emily and Milly to really set everything up, or at the very least with the only time jump being the one between episode 5 and episode 6, and keep the rest of the season in the same timeline so we'd have had more time to develop the Velaryons and ESPECIALLY Jace and Luke and maybe get to see some post-Driftmark things like Aemond's recovery and the aftermath of Daemyra's marriage. But that's a larger undertaking that would require more extensive rewriting, so I'll just stick to the time frame and general plot of their episodes, and just add in my edits and tweaks and cuts and additions. Anything that isn't discussed, assume it's being kept the same as in the show. (And this isn't even taking into account that when I heard "House of the Dragon" I thought it was gonna start with Aegon's Conquest and I was really excited about that and had to temper my disappointment when I realized that wasn't what I was getting).

Episode One - I wouldn't actually change all that much about the pilot, since I think it was actually pretty solid all throughout. The things I would change are a) a different introduction scene for Daemon and Mysaria, or at maximum just cut it, because it doesn't really serve much purpose in the narrative and b) there's no stupid fucking prophecy. I'm not against the idea that Aegon might have had ulterior motives beyond simple Conquest, and we know that Targaryens are capable of having prophetic abilities, but no this should not have been a secret passed down through generations for some fucking reason because that's stupid. And most importantly, considering that HOTD needed to succeed in spite of Game of Thrones, not because of it, because of how awful the last season was and how immediately it faded from the public consciousness and stopped being relevant as a result, the show should honestly not be so frequently be calling back to a disappointing aspect of the show. "A Targaryen must be seated on the Iron Throne" ok but she wasn't and the Long Night ended because some rando had a good ten yard jump according to D&D cuz they wanted to "subvert expectations" stop reminding me of that if I want to be enjoying this new show. Also, we need to set up Rhaenys more, and her issues with being passed over. She needed a scene for herself beyond the tourney, maybe after Aemma's funeral.

Episode Two - Again, don't have the most complaints for this episode either, and most of what I'd change would be adding back in all those scenes they deleted. Keep Criston's induction into the Kingsguard so we can see how sacred it is and how seriously we take it, keep the apparent argument that happens between Alicent and Rhaenyra after Viserys announces the wedding (and have someone remember that seasons can last YEARS in this world so he needs to be more concrete than just saying "at spring's end" when it comes to the wedding), and especially that scene of Rhaenyra helping Alicent get ready for the wedding and that conversation about whether this is what Alicent wants, and I assume her noncommittal answer that's answer enough. I'd also tweak the Dragonstone stuff, keep Daemon and Mysaria's conversation and even the fact that Daemon lied about having a child, but make a lot more comments about how this is mostly an attempt to get Viserys's attention (I know some people find Ryan's interpretation that Daemon's primary motivator in grooming Rhaenyra was just to get the closest thing to Viserys that he could, but I really like it, I think it shows again that Targaryens aren't socialized to view their siblings as siblings, it adds depth to Daemon and his occasional poor little meow meow tendencies, and it'd be an interesting look into Targaryen/Valyrian culture that incest wouldn't be the main issue, same sex attraction would). Daemon should also get in a fight with one of Otto's men on the bridge, someone who's acting too quickly, and we can see Daemon's martial prowess and how deadly he is with Dark Sister outside of the lists. Rhaenyra needs to also work a lot harder to get him to give the dragon egg back, and chiefly, we need to see her relying on Otto more for advice on what to say, like at the Kingsguard scene, so that we can see that Rhaenyra doesn't yet know who might have her best interests at heart, contrasted with Otto's master scheming, and explain why she's so much more hellbent to get him out of KL in later episodes, when she realizes that he doesn't. I'd also maybe add in a scene between Alicent and Criston, maybe after she and Viserys are engaged, maybe having her attend to Kingsguard ceremony and give him a little welcome present she stitched because she's a lil cutie.

Episode Three - This is where things start changing. For one, Rhaenyra and Alicent aren't at odds yet. They're distant, they're uncomfortable and don't know how to talk to each other, but it's more in line with how they feel not just in the OG ep 4 but also in this new timeline where they have that moment before the wedding. For two, my God no White Hart. It's the hokiest of the hoky, it's giving The Last Unicorn, it's giving that one stupid scene from the Kristen Stewart Snow White movie, it's giving baby's first fantasy attempt. We can keep the hunt, and that other deer that Viserys kills and his struggle with it, to show the extending rot in him and that the Targaryens are starting to lose the mandate of Heaven, and we should especially keep the scene with the boar and Rhaenyra. I actually liked that scene, how it's after Rhaenyra is told she needs to marry and breed despite not wanting to, and then an aggressive male pig tries to kill her by forcing himself down on her, and she responds by viciously stabbing it over and over (and also when she said that the boars sound like kids when they die, and we see her having issues with Aegon, and then she kills the boar and hears it die without struggling with it? that's good, that's really good). We should keep Rhaenyra feeling displaced and out of sorts at the attention Aegon is getting and how it seems everyone's disregarding her, or, as one anon put it in a way that still makes me giggle, Rhaenyra being upset at a toddler that he's the protagonist of his own birthday. The stuff between Rhaenyra and Criston can stay the same, and once again, we need another scene between Alicent and Criston, maybe discussing Rhaenyra and whether she's all right. A scene between a knight and a queen with all that formality, but clearly Alicent trying to bridge that gap because she's lonely and she likes him. Once back at KL, we're gonna get that scene where Rhaenyra feels she's gonna be replaced by Aegon, but it's not going to be with Viserys, it's going to be with Alicent. Alicent, possibly after talking with Criston, can go to Rhaenyra, or maybe summon her, cuz she's pregnant and doesn't wanna exercise too much but Rhaenyra can mistake that as Alicent pulling rank, and talk. And that's when Rhaenyra explodes and says that she knows that Otto and Viserys are planning to replace her with Aegon, and it's Alicent who says no because she's still gonna have that scene with Otto where she defends Rhaenyra's claim cuz she wants to keep that friendship. It's not Viserys who says Rhaenyra won't ever be replaced, because Viserys shouldn't say that. Having Viserys constantly reaffirm Rhaenyra's status in private is baffling when you see how he doesn't do anything about it publicly, so we should keep the book thing where he's trying to keep everyone happy, and is either too lazy or too inept to realize the problems it's causing by not falling one way or another. He's not going to reaffirm shit, he's gonna keep the situation as is and, you know, set the seeds for confused succession and civil war.

As to the Stepstones: not getting it. I understand why they wanted it, they want a Game of Thrones style battle sequence, and to show off Daemons' martial prowess (hence why I added a scene of him dueling on the bridge in ep 2, since we're gonna cut all of this), but the Crabfeeder and that whole Stepstones arc is such a nothing problem and doesn't come back in any way and just seems like a forgotten plot. So we'll see Corlys and Laenor in the Stepstones at a war council, to show Corlys's ability and develop Laenor, but Daemon is going to get scenes at Driftmark. He's gonna, idk, bring tidings or some shit to Rhaenys, so we can show her actually in the show since she's a main character, and have her sum up some of the situations at court to Daemon, to show her shrewdness and her capability (since she's supposed to have been better suited to politics than Viserys). This is also where we're gonna get two things: Laena and Vhagar. We're getting that scene where Laena claims Vhagar as a young woman, and Daemon's gonna see it, and he might have a flirtatious conversation with her, something to set up their eventual romance. And for anyone asking why, well this is my rewrite and like Daemon and Laena and I wanted them to get more set up than they did. And it can contrast how Daemon, a man, can flirt with someone he actually desires even though he's married, while Alicent is stuck in a marriage against her will that's tearing her relationship with Rhaenyra apart, while Rhaenyra is still being forced to eventually marry, though she can choose her suitor.

Episode Four - This is another episode I like, so I wouldn't change a whole lot about it. Most of it I'd keep, but I'll add a couple things. We're adding Laena and her betrothed, the Sea Lord of Braavos ('oh but why' it's a surprise tool that can help us later), at court, so we can keep up the tension between her and Daemon, which Rhaenyra might remark on, and that's why she's both more willing to follow him into KL and also why she's angry at him after his abandonment, not just because that's some vile shit he pulled, but also assuming that it's because he wants Laena, not her, even though that flirtation hasn't extended past conversations and discussions of dragons now that Laena has Vhagar. Rhaenys is at court as well, now that Corlys is at Driftmark, so we should get more scenes of her to showcase her abilities as a politician. There should also be a scene with Larys where Rhaenyra might be rude or dismissive of him, maybe not unintentionally but doing it nonetheless, in contrast to Alicent's whole "yeah you can hang out with us Larys" thing during the hunt, to explain why he wants to cause problems for Rhaenyra other than, idk, the cripple is shifty because being crippled means he has to rely on his wits and he's devious because he wishes he wasn't crippled, that whole bullshit. And during the scene between Otto and Viserys (after Rhaenyra has more reason to want Otto fired because she felt he was a false friend in ep 2), when Viserys does his whole thing about Alicent being a manipulation, Otto, already knowing that his job is lost, might fire back (respectfully, but still) about how she was a manipulation Viserys was more than happy to receive. And Viserys, confronted with his own complicity but as always, not wanting to do anything about it, ends the conversation and firmly tells Otto he has to leave King's Landing. And also still no prophecy, Viserys just pulls rank and tells Rhaenyra that after this shit she's marrying Laenor cuz he's king and he says so.

Episode Five - As much as I hate it, let's keep Daemon killing Rhea. There can maybe be more ambiguity about what he actually meant to do, along with new ambiguity about why he's doing it (does he hate her? is he trying to get viserys's attention again? is it to marry rhaenyra like he said he wanted last episode? is it because of this budding Thing with laena? is he just a bastard? is it a combination of all of these?). We'll keep the Driftmark stuff largely the same, though when Corlys does his whole "the crown was stolen from you" thing, rather than Rhaenys saying she doesn't care after we know she does care, we keep the fact that she cares and is still upset with it, because we've had more episodes with her and more content of her being bitter, but her issue is in dragging Laenor into it and potentially putting their children at risk. The stuff in King's Landing is going to be largely the same as well, just with some added gravitas to the Alicole conversation because we've spent more time with them developing a relationship. The big change is going to come during the rehearsal dinner. Because it's a rehearsal dinner, Rhaenyra won't be wearing white, but the red and black colors of House Targaryen, so that we can understand why her side is called "the Blacks" while Alicent's is called "the Greens". We should have Alicent give a smile to her Hightower relatives, but the person who does that "we're glad you're growing strong" talk with her should be Tyland, so that we've now got the bones for all of the allies Alicent'll have for when Aegon takes the throne. Daemon'll show up doing his white boy swagger, and he'll have his dance with Laena and his sexual tension with Rhaenyra, and we'll have Joffrey needle Criston. Also there should be at least one really frosty conversation between Rhaenyra and Alicent, maybe in between the dancing, where Rhaenyra realizes Alicent knows that she lied and Alicent makes it clear, even after the stepdaughter comment, that she's cutting Rhaenyra off.

But remember what I said before about how the Sea Lord of Braavosv is at court with Laena because they're engaged. Well, in the book, Daemon insults him until they have a duel, upon which Daemon kills him and then marries Laena. We're keeping that, and that's the fight at the wedding, but here's the thing: obviously Kingsguard are going to get involved because a foreign ruler and the brother of the King are dueling with swords at a wedding among civilians (including the princess, so we can keep that scene with Harwin because it's fun), and at some point Joffrey can get involved too while Criston's already trying to at least keep people out of the way, and that's when he snaps. Criston still beats Joffrey to death in a rage, but no one notices given what's going on. Then this is where Viserys passes out, shocking everyone, and Daemon gets his kill shot in on the Sea Lord and leaves while everyone's too stunned, and Criston leaves too, horrified but what he's done and how he's completely soiled his cloak, and we get that amazing moment of Laenor wailing over Joffrey's body because that was very affecting. Then we get the wedding, but Viserys isn't there for it cuz he's already passed out and is in the hands of the maesters. We see Alicent save Criston, but this time with the actual conversation involved, have her kneel on the ground and take the knife from him to highlight that Criston thinks she's just the angel brought down to Earth. Have a moment after the wedding where Laenor and his parents decide to sit vigil for Joffrey, and Rhaenyra go to find Alicent but doesn't know where she is (with Criston) and then goes to thank Harwin, to hint at the eventual romance between them. Episode ends with Daemon saddling Caraxes, ready to ride away before someone thinks "hey maybe we should imprison the guy who killed a foreign ally's leader", and then suddenly a great shadow blocks out the sun. Suddenly Vhagar lands in front of him, Laena atop her, and Daemon thinks, oh shit is she gonna try and fight me for killing her betrothed? He's still on the ground, and suddenly Laena climbs down from Vhagar to join him there. She doesn't say anything, but she smiles at him, and Daemon bends to kiss her hand. This is an episode that's scene people throwing their lots one way or another, and now Laena and Daemon are doing it too, to themselves. Interspersed with a moment of Alicent and Rhaenyra at Viserys's sickbed, each on an opposite side and still in their signature colors, the court gathered there too (the Velaryons minus Laenor and Harwin and other Team Blacks behind Rhaenyra, the Hightowers and Lannisters and Criston behind Alicent), Vhagar and Caraxes fly off, almost dancing, into the night. Idk the episode ends with maybe baby Helaena and lil Aegon starting to cry. Part one ending with dragons in the air and children in our ears, to remind us what this show is really going to be: a war of succession that ends with the dragons gone.

Episode Six - Anyway, ten years pass. The first shot isn't Rhaenyra graphically giving birth, cuz I don't want it. Instead, we're gonna see a dragon egg warmed over the fire, and it's gonna be Jacacerys and Lucerys and Laenor waiting in the adjacent chamber, probably having some sort of exposition talk so that we know what's going on and who these kids are. We can hear Rhaenyra doing that screaming birth thing, but one of the first things we see as that her two kids obviously don't look like Laenor, they don't even look like her. We can keep the stuff about Alicent wanting to see the kid and Rhaenyra being petty and bringing her baby herself, and most of the stuff about this episode, not just in KL but also in Pentos with Laena and Daemon. However, we're not going to have anything about Daemon being a distant father (for a reason), or about Daemon regretting marrying Laena. He's a bit directionless, but happy enough, and Rhaena's issues are largely her own because she's a kid and she sees that her twin has something and wants to know why she can't. Since we still need to adhere to stuff we know happened, Laena's still gonna unfortunately die in childbirth, but I'm mixing the show and book versions. We can keep a scene where Daemon refuses a C-section to contrast what happened with Aemma and Viserys, but she still manages to give birth like in the book, though like in the book the baby doesn't survive and she gets childbed fever. And it's in that fever that she goes to Vhagar, weak and knowing she's dying, to ask Vhagar to kill her so she can go out on her own terms. Scene largely plays out the same, but there's more urgency to Daemon when he realizes she's gone, to go along with the fleshed out relationship they have. And when he sees it, he's clearly deeply upset, and we're going to get the scene of him comforting his daughters, since I'm still really annoyed they cut that.

Important changes however, are twofold. For one, it's Lucerys who's going to be showing the most issue with apparently not being Laenor's son, but Harwin's, to give him an emotional through line to work with since we spend the least time with him. For two, the Greens kids. Largely, I'll keep most things the same, that Aegon seems to see himself as an older brother to all of them and helps out with dragon stuff and has a friendship with Rhaenyra's sons (especially Jace, he and Jace should be pretty close), Helaena should still be a dragondreamer, and Aemond should still have been bullied by Aegon and the Velaryons. But. For one, Helaena's getting more personality. She's a dragondreamer, yeah, and I'd keep this coding they're giving her when it comes to autism, but that scene with her and Alicent should have her just kinda babbling and hyperfixating, wanting to talk about her special interest and maybe not necessarily registering Alicent's constant "uh huh" as she tries to follow along, so that we can see more of Helaena's personality, along with her small prophecies later in the scene with regards to Aemond. For two, I'm adding a scene where Aegon goes to Aemond after the Pink Dread thing. He's clearly doing it because Alicent told him to apologize, he's uncomfortable and kinda surly and Aemond's still upset at him, but Aegon tries and does a whole "hey, you'll get a dragon, you can tame a wild one on Dragonstone or something". Neither of them are comfortable in that moment but Aegon is trying to be big brotherly in that way that seems to come more naturally when he's helping the Velaryons, and Aemond's clearly trying to appreciate it. It's so that we can get that same sense that, yeah, these relationships are a bit screwy and these people are all weird but they are still ride or die for each other. The essence of that Alicent line; they can cuff each other as much as they want at home, but they also need to defend each other.

The last scene of the Velaryons should be them preparing to leave for Dragonstone, on top of the world, when they get the twofold news about both Laena and Harwin, interspersed with that scene between Alicent and Larys. And maybe, if I'm allowed to be self indulgent, while at Harrenhal we get a brief, just barely there first glimpse of Alys, for me because I want it since I love her.

Episode Seven - Driftmark I'll play out largely the same, since as much as I hate the choices characters made, it was good storytelling and important anyway. Small changes include Daemon not cracking up at his wife's funeral for no reason, and we're going to hear Vhagar screaming when Aemond gets his eye stabbed out. Some bigger changes are going to include Rhaenyra being more visibly upset that Harwin is dead, along with Lucerys, to tie into his arc about feeling out of place, and that Rhaenyra and Daemon's sex is less about "giving into their ultimate desires" and more an entire mishmash of feelings, desires they've felt and grief for their respective dead loved ones and the two of them seeking power in that moment as well. We're also going to make Jace more of a mediator in that fight between Aemond and the other kids, trying hard to de-escalate it when Baela and Rhaena attack and Luke and Aemond escalating it, and it's Luke who has the knife, not Jace. Jace is still involved, since he also understands the Strong insult, but as the eldest of the four he's the one who most understands that this can turn bad quickly. Additionally, when shit goes down in the throne room, it's largely the same, but while Rhaenys and Corlys protect the Velaryon kids, it's Aegon and Helaena who move to stand in front of Aemond, since he's their baby brother after all and their mother's main protector is trying to get to her and being blocked by Daemon. There's not gonna be a scene between Alicent and Viserys cuz I don't know what that scene was meant to serve.

Lastly, sorry but Laenor needs to die. Like, actually die. It'll foreshadow how ruthless Daemon and Rhaenyra are in their pursuit of power, one of the things that draws them to each other, it gives more weight to Rhaenys and Corlys and their eventual rift, and honestly Laenor's death not being legit is just such a massive plothole. How is Seasmoke free if Laenor isn't actually dead? Did no one ever notice Laenor in the Free Cities ever? Laenor was just fine abandoning his family after they'd already lost Laena? He was fine abandoning the kids he'd raised for ten years? And when he heard about the Dance he never once tried to come back to help them and let them all die, his mother and former wife and the kids they raised? Yeah, no, it doesn't make sense, Rhaenyra and Daemon are just gonna cold blood kill Laenor, and the vibe of the wedding is gonna be less Romance and more about power and old magic, with more emphasis on the blood sacrifices and the flashes to what's happening to Laenor, along with the kids looking weirded out considering that this is way too soon.

Episode Eight - The big thing is that this episode is gonna start with Vaemond's death, and it's going to be much more book accurate. He's going to be talking to Rhaenys about the situation, and then Daemon shows up, in his Crime Hoodie, and kills him (we can keep that he does it from behind so that Vaemond can't fight back). Daemon's spotted leaving by his daughters and we realize that there's a bit of a rift. Both of his daughters live on Driftmark with Rhaenys, and there's clearly love there, though a bit strained because they clearly left due to the swiftness of his marriage to Rhaenyra. On Dragonstone, we see Vaemond's corpse fed to Syrax, and we also see Lucerys kinda being an angry teenager, since his right to Driftmark is being questioned, just a lot more ill at ease than we saw in the show. In contrast, Jacaerys is more comfortable, and instead of learning Valyrian he's teaching it to Aegon and Viserys, who are their normal ages and not little babies because that makes no sense (and Jahaerys and Jahaera and Maelor are all their book ages as well). Rhaenyra's also further along in her preganncy than we see, so that we can see the urgency of why they all go to KL when they get called there to discuss the succession by Otto and Alicent, as well as Vaemond's murder. Meanwhile, in the city, I am keeping Dyana, since as I've said it's a good scene for what it shows us about Alicent and also the world of the court at large, but I'm changing the perpetrator. Instead of Aegon, it's a Hightower guardsman that Alicent has thrown unilaterally in the black cells, to demonstrate to the audience her ultimate power. Aegon's issue is that he is indeed drunk in the middle of the day, and he won't really seem to care about Dyana and what happened even though she's nursemaid to his kids, and that's why Alicent's disappointed in him and where we see that he's a layabout. Aemond's intro is the same, cuz that was good, and I'd also add a scene between Aegon and Helaena with their kids so we can see Aegon's fondness for children (foreshadowing), as well as first hear Helaena's beast beneath the boards prophecy and see more into the dynamics of their marriage, that it's strained because of personalities but they work better when they treat each other as siblings rather than spouses.

There's gonna be more emphasis on Daemon and Viserys, on that relationship, with Rhaenyra and Viserys's more formal, since we nixed any rapprochements in episode 3 and we're not doing the prophecy to bind them together, while leaning more on that idea of Daemon likely loving Viserys the most (and yes keeping the crown thing in the throne room I don't even like Viserys but that scene got to me). The difference is that the issues settled in the throne room aren't just Luke's succession, with Rhaenys being more neutral and just saying she will do what the king wills, which allows the betrothals to move forward (and Luke is the one doing his own arguing, so that we can see more of him and see his anger at having to do this), but also about the Silent Five (for non-book readers, these were five Velaryons who were upset at Vaemond's murder and went to court for justice). One of them likely does that whole "her children are bastards and she is a whore" thing, and in general is way more disrespectful to Rhaenyra than he needs to be, and they're all pressing their own claims, and Viserys does what he does in the book and orders their tongues removed. The feast is also gonna be a mishmash of changes and keeps. For one, the first toaster after Viserys's speech (which doesn't go over as warmly as the Greens kids clearly are angry at him about being a shit dad, even Helaena they should all be sharing a look) is going to be Daemon. Daemon will raise a cup to Viserys, to his brother, call him a good kind as a callback to when he called him a weak king in the first episode. Then that inspires Rhaenyra and Alicent, whose toasts are largely the same. Helaena's toast can be kinda the same, just so we can keep Otto going "good" after she sits down. The key differences are that Jace is going to ask Baela to dance, since they're engaged, and there'll be a scene where Daemon sits himself next to Viserys and the two talk as brothers, on friendly terms once again. Rhaenyra and Alicent share a smile, and then Viserys leaves cuz sick. The Strong toast proceeds largely the same, except what motivates Aemond isn't the pig (Lucerys here is more surly and just generally kinda upset about how he had to defend his claim), but Jace asking Helaena to dance next to provoke Aegon, which sets him off and Aemond does that stand thing that he did earlier in the original ep. And then he makes the excuse for the Strong boys toast, and things go largely the same after that.

And as I've mentioned before, I really hate that Rhaenyra never found out what happened to her mother, so let's change that. After Alicent gives Viserys his medicine, Rhaenyra arrives to say goodbye to him, Alicent and Rhaenyra sharing another silent, almost warm moment before Alicent leaves. And Viserys, addled again, mistakes Rhaenyra for Aemma, and starts going on about how much he missed her, how he hopes she forgives him. Rhaenyra's confused but eventually Viserys's babbling goes on long enough for her to realize what happened, and exactly what he did. And she's horrified, shocked and angry and upset, and tells Viserys she doesn't forgive him, both to hurt him and also because maybe she doesn't, after what she's had to deal with in being the heir to the throne and stealing Alicent and not doing anything about the succession and causing all these problems and also for apparently killing her mother. She leaves then, and Viserys dies alone, the victim of all the awful choices that he made because he was too passive to try his hand at anything. And most importantly, no prophecy, since we nixed that, and no mix-up, he just dies.

Episode Nine - Since there's no prophecy mix-up, Alicent's been involved since the beginning of planning to put Aegon on the throne, and it's clear in the planning stage she wasn't that concerned with what would happen to Rhaenyra after the fall out at Driftmark. But now, she's more aligned with that "what of Rhaenyra" sentiment we see in the show. I'm not changing much for the bulk of the episode, but I am changing the stupid child fighting pits. They exist, yeah, but we don't go there because Aegon likes to watch the fights. We're going there because one of the places where they're held is also the home of a former prostitute who has a bastard of Aegon's (Gaemon perhaps?) and more importantly, while we're there we see Mysaria and we see big, hulking man in a bloody butcher's apron and a huge sword (FORESHADOWING I think we all know who that might be). I might add a scene of the three Green kids after Aegon's found, just a small moment of the three of them, not entirely sure what they'd talk about or if they'd even talk at all instead of just being together, but I want a moment for them. Ideally, I'd make the coronation book accurate, with Sunfyre's flight and Alicent crowning Helaena herself, but as I said I'm making myself stick to the framework of the show, so...

Coronation happens, Rhaenys busts in the through the floor. Everything stays the same up until the roar. After that happens, and Alicent looks up at Rhaenys, they share a glance and maybe...maybe she will...But then we hear a dragon call and descending from the rafters (since we know dragons can make burrows up there, like Viserions did in ADWD) is Sunfyre, flying down to get in front of this hostile dragon and his Aegon, majestic as anything in all his glory, and ready to throw the fuck down. And that's what inspires Rhaenys to leave, realizing this isn't the moment for a fight and she could get trounced, especially as we hear rumbles from within the Dragonpit (Dreamfyre) and a different dragoncall from outside (Vhagar). Rhaenys flies off, and as the doors finally close us to black we hear the sound of all three dragons together, and episode ends.

Episode Ten - Again, another episode where I wouldn't change much. We're making the circumstances of Visenya's birth more book accurate, with Rhaenyra screaming at her to get out and cursing her for a monster, and we'll keep in that scene between Rhaenys and Baela, Baela staying as a matter of principle and because she does love her father and knows that this is the endgame for him. Rhaenys and Corlys also ally with Rhaenyra not because they suddenly prefer her and think she's a good ruler, but because they know that this is the side Rhaena and Baela will choose, and they're the last family they have, the last reminders of their dear children, and so they stay for them, and hope that Rhaenyra knows what she's doing. And since there's no prophecy, that's not what gets Daemon angry enough to get violent, it's specifically that Rhaenyra is thinking of taking Otto's terms and Daemon just goes "no you can't do that to us, to me", all angry like. And he doesn't grab her by the throat, maybe just hard by the arms and shakes her, and Rhaenyra forcefully pushes him and pulls rank on him in that moment, reminding him that, even if she does capitulate, until she does she is Daemon's sworn queen and will not touch her that way. And Daemon's just left kinda gobsmacked, before whirling around and leaving to go to Vermithor, and Rhaenyra takes a vulnerable moment.

I'd also add a scene between Jace and Luke, Jace in this episode I'd keep largely the same, and Luke as well, but with the added surliness and issues he has, and it's Jace who finally snaps him out of it. Jace tells Luke what he himself has always known, that their power comes from their mother, their Queen, and that they're Targaryens before anything else. Jace also says that, if he doesn't have a son, Luke will be his heir, not because he's a Velaryon or a Strong but because he is a Targaryen, Rhaenyra's Targaryen son, Jace's Targaryen brother. And that gives Luke the push he needs to go all in, and then fly to Storm's End after a final conversation with his mother. And Storm's End I'd keep entirely the same, I like all of that and I like how that ends the season and what the means for everyone, especially Aemond going forward.

There's a lot more I would change if I wasn't keeping myself beholden to the episodes and overall structure of the show, as I said I'd probably do less time jumps and do a lot more development of the Strongs and more of the interpersonal relationships between people, and just really slow everything down, to say nothing again of what I actually wanted the show to be about. But all in all, yeah, if I'm beholden to what the show's done and just how would I change and rewrite within those constraints, this is by and large how I would do it.

[adultswim2021]

Tim & Eric Nite Live #3: “Flipz” | November 20, 2007 - 10:00PM | S01E03

This will be the final of the “make good” Tim & Eric Nite Live review, and from here on out they’ll be weaved into their proper order with all the other shows. Thank you for your patience. Sorry if you are Nite-Live’d out, but to me there could be no such thing! I simply love this show too much. 

This is the third episode anniversary special featuring the guy who did Flips in a season one Awesome Show sketch. I think they said where he was from, but his accent is the closest thing I’ve heard in real life to the voice Andy Kaufman puts on when he’s doing his foreign man character. We are celebrating with tuxedos, champagne, cake, and extra decorations. Eric holds up a cake in the shape of a number three. He does this again during the closing credits, only this time some of it falls to the ground. I’ve often said that a lot of On Cinema at the Cinema’s DNA is present in Tim & Eric Nite Live, with Tim’s irritable dick persona being very similar to his On Cinema persona. The cake-dropping bit here really seals the deal for me. 

This one has it’s share of actual awkwardness, like every time David Liebe Hart interjects almost anything. There’s also a squirmy bit where Tim & Eric confuse Milan, the master flipsman, by seemingly springing an ad read for Flipz chocolate pretzels on him, which he sorta stumbles through. It’s another one of Tim & Eric’s fake/ironic sponsorships. There’s also a passing reference to FrankTV, which I’m assuming was Super Deluxe’s on-site promotion at the time this episode streamed.

In this installment we play “Pound for Pound”, a joke-off between DJ Dougpound and a young boy named David Gore, a young stand-up comic. We will also see him in the next episode of Awesome Show. They trade jokes, with DJ Dougpounds being a little more sophisticated, just ironic and intentionally lame. His joke about buying a digital camera the deli is memorable (7.2 mega-pickles).

At the end of Pound for Pound, James Quall, David Liebe Hart, and George Kerr, a violinist all vote for who they think won. DLH doesn’t seem to be with the program; I believe that he was briefed to vote in such a way that there would be a tie, but instead of doing that he just declares that his vote was for a tie. When they push him to vote for one or the other contestant, he picks the wrong one, causing Tim & Eric to improvise their way out of the situation by declaring George Kerr’s violin solo to count as two votes. The real tie-breaker is left to the flipmaster general Milan, who also seems to mix-up the names and not be sure who he’s voting for. David wins the competition, and Doug’s parents are briefly interviewed to shame their son for losing a comedy competition to a child. 

George Kerr, by the way, used to perform in some kind of band with DLH as part of some kind of comedy tour, but DLH alleged that he was influenced by his family to not hang out with DLH because he’s black. Full interview is here. I wouldn’t take that too seriously because the things DLH can be a little suspect. I think we can read between the lines on this one. Hopefully it isn’t true.

Fred Armisen does a very Fred Armisen-style bit as a guy who counts hits for websites. The bit is fine and intentionally mind-numbing, but DLH doesn’t seem to be in on the joke when he very earnestly asks Fred about real-life harassment he’d been suffering from Tim & Eric fans. My personal theory is that moments like this lead to Tim & Eric trying to be a little more careful and less exploity of their outsider cast members. For those who are uncomfortable with that aspect of the Tim & Eric experience, this is a pretty potent moment that makes them look not too good. Through my perverse eyes, it saves the segment. 

Rounding out the rest; we get to see the upcoming Thocks sketch. I have a vague memory of Tim & Eric appearing on, I think, Dave Navaro’s talk show which was another web-only show that streamed live on ManiaTV (the network that aired Tom Green’s internet talk show). They showed the Thocks sketch on his show too, and presented him with an actual pair of thocks. I remember Dave lighting up and proudly declaring that he was going to wear them for real.

There’s a subtle reveal in this one: Richard Dunn appears via skype, and is said to not be in studio this episode. But at the end while the credits roll he just casually joins the fray. I love shit like that. (screaming, scarily) I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

it’s genuinely fucked to see in hindsight tommy's genuine interest and attempt in telling a respectful story about mental health and abuse (even if he was sixteen and not entirely knowledgable on those topics) and then get screwed over at every aspect bc his two closest friends at the time (when he was a literal minor and who had both been weird as shit to him before like people forget how vile people treated Tommy The Real Life Human in the dsmp era and that absolutely impacted Tommy The Character- if irl dream would casually victim blame the irl tommy for “making” him sound creepy (when he was borderline flirting with him as a “joke” and getting mad when the LITERAL TEENAGER was uncomfortable) and irl wilbur would rely on again a REAL LIFE TEENAGER to get through some of his mental health crises and openly admit that no wonder they treat his character like shit) were at best abuse enablers if we want to be very generous to dream and in the case of wilbur undeniable abusers and sex pests.

like obviously that’s not the most important thing with them being awful people but it makes the fact tommy was genuinely trying to tell a story about abuse and trauma (even if it was clunky at times bc he was young) and they would shut it down whenever it seemed too close to actually definitively stating abuse was bad really fucking sad. like tommy should have got to tell the story that was clearly very important for him with people that’d respect and help his creative vision, not shut it down bc they were abusers who quite frankly often treated him in incredibly inappropriate ways on public platforms. the fact teenagers were around those men at all is shocking and sad- it’s obviously nowhere near as bad as the abuse Jesus Christ but it’s depressing and concerning. MULTIPLE abusers had unrestricted contact including normalised private DM access with MULTIPLE teenagers. the fact that no one points that out shocks me bc as someone who Knows vaguely about content creation and stuff from relatives… teenage content creators are more vulnerable than an average teen, not less, bc they’re essentially child stars lite. that should never have been allowed.

god it's so nice to see your takes on things genuinely

As flawed as it is, i think dsmp is still an incredibly interesting and unique narrative about abuse, how it affects different people, and how it's spread and normalised. It's not a satisfying or clean narrative by any means, but i still think that it approaches its themes in a way that's fundamentally different than any other form of media and it's still worth it to spend time analysing it.

i don't know if the fact that actual abusers worked on it has anything to do with it (i would hazard a guess and say yes, but i digress), but oftentimes it genuinely feels like a look into the internal machinations of abusers, and i think it can make people more aware of the warning signs. and good analysis is the #1 way to actually bring that lesson to the surface, since the story wasn't written with that moral in mind but just stumbled onto it.

so, thank you for giving this smpand its story the time of day, i think that it's genuinely something that's worth doing and it's nice to see someone put themselves out there like you do (since i know how a lot of fans are), have a lovely day!

Ugh this is all worded soooo perfectly. This story is truly the most unique look into abuse and it never even used to word …….forgive the long tangent I’m about to go on but it’s important!! I know there is a bigger conversation to be had, particularly about the meta and the way Tommy played ctommy/how he interacted with the adults on the server, which greatly influenced the delivery of the abuse plotline. Tom Simons played Ctommy epistemologically, so the characters�� knowledge, for the most part, extended only as far as his did. Which created a devastating story ! Especially concerning cwilbur!

I wanna actually talk abt how the word “abuse” was never used, despite it permeating thru the entire narrative. This was on purpose of course. Tommy The Guy was 16. His outlook on abuse and the nuances of it likely weren’t developed enough for him to ever really understand what was happening to his character until it was too late. And in that vein, Clayton Ray Huff and william gold also didn’t think harder about the harm they caused not just Tommy, but everyone else they hurt irl. And I’ll never forget Tommy’s cry for justice before that HORRIBLE ending, saying in his twitch chat that “cdream drove ctommy to suicide!” Or when he told his chat they were Also being manipulated by c!dream, after his first prison visit. It’s so complicated and so difficult to talk about, but it’s absolutely necessary when the story itself never really…. Understood the topic it was portraying. The level of abuse apologism and victim blaming present in this fanbase had such an awful effect on me and my friends, and again, that was intentional. Send the audience they curated to silence any conversation that might allude to blaring red flags. BUT! I’m in a better headspace to discuss the intricacies of its harm and how it failed, and simultaneously investigate how it managed to be so Real.

As for the story being written by a handful of actual abusers … well……. It’s no wonder it ended like a punch to the throat. Absolute horse shit spun from the mouths of men who know what they are, and want to keep being that way. Wilbur thinks he can just Leave for a while and everything would go back to normal. Dream thought he could Start Over so that no ACTUAL consequences would ever reach him. They learn NOTHING because they don’t believe they have to. It’s sick. But it’s always necessary to remember when analyzing the train wreck of an ending both men concocted. Dsmp failed as damage control because they played abusers in that story too. And abusers don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. Completely incapable of introspection.

Okay I’ve talked enough lmfao but . I’m rly thankful I get to receive anons like this … I do not think I’m the smartest person by a long shot and seeing other people articulate these thoughts and introduce me to new things has been very healing and validating. It’s much better than the ppl who would flat out deny it or harass me lol.

[sqarletsworldlesswandering]

Currently thinking about the “Duo as gatekeepers” idea again

Wondering what their design would be like? I can see both of them being similar to Avemcaec and Spinacylp, not being attached to the track itself…

I can also see both of them being based on eldritch angels? Feathery and lots of wings and eyes… maybe a halo too

Now that's a very interesting thought.

In my mind, Aven would sorta be like Avemcaec where he's detached from the causeway, while Edda would be wrapped around it. My logic there is that Aven has the closest thing we get to "flying" in his arsenal while Edda is more grounded.

I could easily see Aven having wings, or maybe smaller wings that will boost him off the track for short bursts but then back on, and you have to attack while he's on the causeway.

Edda meanwhile I picture as just...moving very quickly, and having a lot of "shield" elements that you have to get through before being able to attack eyes. I.e. There's an actual layer you have to surge or something before the eye becomes available for attack, as opposed to just...something you need to dodge.

Design wise the angel approach could make sense, but I think we can also vary that a little to be more true to their original designs.

For Edda, what if we took a very literal approach to the term "lightning bug"? We've got the shields a la insect chitin and elytra, we've got literal lightning, and we can lean hard into the blues while some of her dodge-oriented attacks use ice crystal motifs. This would also nod to lightning being her main element, and ice more her secondary. Visually, that might translate to lots of glowing parts, possibly that pulse their glow. Maybe even some sort of blindness mechanic, like having to memorize a dodge sequence beforehand and execute it in darkness. Another visual beat could lean into insectoid limbs and compound eyes. The compound eyes especially could work well with the shield dynamic. Could definitely go with multiple pairs of wings - take the multi-winged eldritch approach but make it insect. Maybe she reflects lightning through her wings to aim and that's how the telegraph works.

As for Aven, a bird motif could work, but so could maybe a vague serpentine motif. Feathered lizard vibes of some kind. Maybe the feathers being visible means he's more vulnerable because his scales/plating pulls back to allow him to fly properly or somethin'. Most of his attacks could be wind based - wind tunnels that boost or slow you uncontrollably, tornadoes that force you into a glide or keep you from vaulting, etc. Then the fire shows up in projectiles and other obstacles whilst you're trying to reckon with the wind mechanics. It'd be neat if his scarf made an appearance, maybe as the pair of wings that lets him boost off the ground. I have this image in my head of his underbelly, and the feathery parts of his wings having most of his eyes, but there's a part on his wings that's a false eye pattern, as are the two on his face. The underbelly has to be hit with a projectile while he's on the causeway, and the feathered ones need to be hit by surging while riding a tornado or something adjacent. He's got little to no shield aspects, but he makes himself hard to reach, a la guard and evade, contrasting Edda's shield.

[butwhatifidothis]

What is your opinion on the TWISTD/the Agarthans?

In general? They're an interesting concept implemented in a terrible way.

Cuz, like, there are ways to make a subsect of humans that have declared themselves above the gods, to the point of viewing fellow humans as lesser for not following their way of life and to the point of instigating genocide against a race of beings that have done nothing wrong. If they were going to be given focus, it would've been interesting to see what's it like just being an Agarthan.

Like, obviously not all of them look as crazy as Solon or Thales, since Kronya looks just like anyone else but grayer, so what makes an Agarthan have drastically different looks? Is it living longer - have Thales and Solon been alive for around a thousand years? They're both magic users while Kronya isn't, does that have something to do with it? Both male while Kronya's female, is that it? And on that front, what about Cornelia? Does her actual appearance have something nutty going on? And what's goin' on with their lore in the library? Do they think Sothis replaced their god, and is that why they hate her and her children? Is this god Arval? But I thought they hated the gods and thought themselves better than them, was it only Sothis they thought they were better than? And so on and so forth; on that front, I'm hoping 3 Hopes can shed some light on them (hopefully without outright demonizing the Nabateans in the process).

But. Like. They aren't given any focus. Like, almost at all. So you have a bunch of people who can freely shape-shift at will, have shown to be capable of extremely convoluted yet successful acts of subterfuge and espionage (like Lambert's murder), and have what are essentially nukes at their disposal... and yet they never feel like a threat, once post-timeskip hits. And when you look back on the game, you realize that TWS had plenty of moments where they could have just killed everyone at once without even needing Edelgard's war - the Battle of Eagle and Lion is the most egregious of them all, having all of Edelgard, Dimitri, Claude, Rhea, the future leaders of the large majority of the noble houses from all three nations of Fodlan, and all of the Nabateans (that are still interacting with humans) present and condensed into one easily blowupable area, but if they had been any sort of competent and done that then there'd obviously be no story.

So what they end up being more than anything else is just the fandom scapegoat to alleviate any wrongdoing from, well, mostly Edelgard lmao. Something something "She needed to do this or TWS would do X/She couldn't trust anyone because they could be TWS in disguise/She might be bad but what about TWS tho so is she really that bad." And/or they're used to make Rhea look bad cuz the fandom wants to make undue, shitty comparisons to her and them for no reason.

But story-wise, they're kinda just... a distraction? Like there's a reason AM's story works just fine by taking out all of the main heads of TWS on accident; they're useless in the grand scheme of things, and giving them the half-hearted focus that the other routes do just takes away from time that could've been spent focusing on the character arcs of everyone else. But on the other hand, taking them out completely is tricky because a lot of what happens is because of them; their competency existing but only in pre-game events clashes with their incompetency that exists almost everywhere else.

So I guess TL;DR of this is that TWS/the Agarthans could have been an interesting addition to 3H's lore, but they end up overcomplicating things too much without really feeling like they have much of a presence outside of being a fandom scapegoat to cast all blame on

[thewertsearch]

Yeah, I think what each individual Aspect ‘means’ is being left intentionally vague. Hell, the closest thing we ever got to a Title explanation came from Jaspers, which says it all, really.  

Let’s take a quick look at the kids’ four Aspects, through the lens of the Players who embody them.

Breath is not a traditional element. Wind is, but Hussie chose Breath, which feels very deliberate.

I think this is evidence that we’re supposed to be looking at Aspects symbolically, because Breath is highly unlikely to be literal. I really don’t think John has powers that relate directly to people’s lungs - although that would be pretty funny, so I kind of want to be proven wrong. 

Anyway, John has (maybe) done one thing with his Aspect - he (possibly) created a gust of wind. Not much to work with, but that, plus the name of his Land, does imply that this is indeed the Wind-substitute element. There’s definitely more going on with Breath, though - because, again, it could have just been called Wind. 

Rose ‘likes’ LOLAR, but she’s generally more into shadows. Why did the game assign her the Aspect that seems like her natural opposite?

Jaspers, uh, tries to explain, but it’s all sort of mixed up. 

JASPERSPRITE: [...] you are what some people around here call the Seer of Light. JASPERSPRITE: And you dont know what that means but you will see its all tied together! JASPERSPRITE: All the life in the ocean and all the shiny rain and the songs in your head and the letters they make. JASPERSPRITE: A beam of light i think is like a drop of rain or a long piece of yarn that dances around when you play with it and make it look enticing! JASPERSPRITE: And the way that it shakes is the same as what makes notes in a song! JASPERSPRITE: And a song i think can be written down as letters. JASPERSPRITE: So if you play the right song and it makes all the right letters then those letters could be all the letters that make life possible.

So Light is... music? It’s vibration? Thought? String? Language? DNA? 

There’s a throughline here of information, but that’s clearly riffing on Rose’s role as a Seer, a role which revolves around information. None of this really explains Light - if anything, it sounds like Jaspers is struggling to relate Rose’s Quest to her Aspect, and I’m no clearer on what it really means. 

It might not mean anything, or - and this is a possibility I’ve been considering for a while - it might mean whatever its Player thinks it means. Players shape the Medium through their prototypings, so maybe they shape their own elemental system the same way, and Jaspers is deliberately being vague so that Rose can make her own judgement about what Light ‘is’. 

Anyway, this one is weird, because I think Jaspers is talking about Rose’s Class as well as her Aspect, and I can’t untangle the two yet. I think I’ll table the Rose Light Analysis until we get another Light Player, and we can compare and contrast.

Time seems pretty cut-and-dry - it symbolizes time. Dave’s a Time Player, so he’s the time traveler of the group, he’s the one messing with timelines, and he’s the one who’s going to have the most time duplicates floating around. If Time is more than that, we haven’t seen it. 

Dave's settled into his Aspect better than anyone - although it is notable that he doesn’t seem to have any time powers, as such - he’s just using an item.

If Time is straightforward, then Space should be too, right? But Jade’s Aspect seems like the complete opposite of what her deal is, even more so than Rose. Jade was literally the team seer for a thousand pages - she was all about Time, and hasn’t really done anything that relates to space. 

Rose is the one with an observatory, and John is the one with a telescope. Maybe Jade will get a teleportation item during her alchemy binge, and we’ll see the Witch of Space start to put her Aspect to use. 

[little-mouse-adventures]

yet more rambles about this

there's 2 things that I'm currently hung up on.

He died in a park near me. This cousin grew up on the other side of the province; it takes 8 hours to drive there. He would regularly hitchhike around western to midwestern Canada. He'd always been a self-proclaimed nomad, and that, partnered with the mental health issues, meant he would disappear for long stretches of time and no one in the family would hear from him. It was never unreasonable to assume that this kind of situation would happen: he'd go off somewhere, and the next we'd hear of him he would have died. But he died near me, y'know? Like, of everywhere on the planet (or even the country, idk if he had a passport, and Canada's huge), he died near me. How long was he around here? Would we have gotten lunch together if I'd known he was around? We have other cousins nearby, did they see him before he died?

He's the first of the cousins to go, at least on this shared-family side. (Well, both sides for me, but everyone has two parents, and i'm pretty sure some of my other cousins have lost their cousins). The lot of us were never super close; there's 11 cousins with around 40 years between the oldest and the youngest, so we're all pretty spread out, age-wise and geographically from when we grew up to now. But he's the first gone. He was the oldest of us. And even though we were never all close, we were family. There was affection. We liked each other, we had each others backs (another cousin on this side said to my mom when my sister and I were little (and I'm paraphrasing here): if your girls ever want to try drugs, even the hard stuff, let me know and I'll make sure they get the good stuff that's not laced with anything else or has anything weird going on with it. I'll make sure they're safe." Which is possibly a weird thing to say to a woman living in a white-picket fence suburb with her 2 pre-teen daughters and a mini-van, but that's love, baby! I don't know these kids very well, but damn, they're family, and I'll keep them safe if they ever engage with this aspect of life! It's easier when the parents go (I originally typed "adults" instead of parents, but of the 11 of us, only 1 is still technically not an adult), because they're old. Of my mom and her siblings, I think only half are still alive. And the youngest of them is over 60. (The oldest left is, I think, just over 70). So like, when one of them dies of cancer after smoking for 40 years, or the 75-year-old with her own severe health problems kicks it, you kind of expect it, y'know? But despite knowing Shi was old enough to be my dad, he was never really lumped in as anything other than "my cousin" in my head, with all the connotations of closeness that tends to invoke - we're of a similar age and generation or whatever (even though that largely wasn't true).

It's weird. Blah blah blah, all the usual "it feels like a piece is missing" stuff, but it's kind of true. It just doesn't feel like a piece I was really aware of, and to be perfectly honest, not one that was particularly load-bearing or structurally beneficial. It's like... in the house of my soul and family, it feels like a nice, but largely unneeded window has just been smashed. It'll get boarded up and just be there as a vague noteworthy piece, but it's not like the foundation cracked, or the second-floor bathtub came crashing through the ceiling into the kitchen.

And it's not like he's the first ever to go on this side of the family, or even the person I was closest to! Half my aunts/ uncles, my grandparents, and my mother are all gone! But at least for those, we all had some warning. They were old, or sick. With Shi, it's just like... "Hey, you know that cousin that you always kind of figured would disappear for a time and the next you'd hear of him, he'd've died? Yeah, he disappeared for a time and now he's dead." It's jarring, even though it really shouldn't be.

Anyways. The thoughts are just kind of swirling now so I'm gonna stop typing and go get something to eat. And I guess continue on, and get in touch with my aunt when she's ready for that.

ramble about personal family stuff that i just need to type out to process a bit

just found out one of my cousins died. he was easily 20yrs older than me and i think i saw him like 15 times total in my life. I certainly haven't seen him in the past 10 years. And now he's just gone.

I feel so bad for my aunt who now has to bury her boy. And he had a son as well, who I also feel awful for! Like... my cousin was never in the greatest of mental health places so he was never primary guardian, but they were close.

idk man. He was found unresponsive in a well-known local park, and it's December. so he likely died cold and alone. Though according to my aunt's message to the family, it was apparently a "quiet, calm passing" and his organs are being donated, so it sounds like he was found unresponsive, given care, and passed anyways.

It's weird, because idk if I would have recognized him if I saw him on the street. Though when I saw the pic of him with his son from last summer my brain went "yep that's Shiloh!" so there's that at least.

It's just a bunch of weird emotions at the moment. Some mad I didn't really know died after I haven't seen him for ten years and I feel like crying. I suppose we are coming out of the 'oh the holidays are the time for Family!" stuff, and like... I keep losing family members. An aunt died last summer (same side of the family, too), my husband's grandmother died last fall, now this cousin is gone...

shit's weird, man.

[btsandvmin]

Vmin song analysis - Winter in August - Part 4

Since this analysis ended up being so long it has been divided in parts. This is part 4. If you haven’t read part 1, 2 or 3 yet I recommend doing so. This is the final part.

This started as a Spring Day analysis, but it has since grown immensely. I actually rather call it a thematic analysis or something, and while Spring Day is still at the core of it all, I go through many songs and details outside of Spring Day connections.

Taehyung obviously loves Spring Day a lot, and Jimin does too. It might seem weird to make a Vmin analysis out of Spring Day, but I just felt there was enough surrounding things to talk about. Even if they might be coincidence I do personally think they fit it very well with the other song theories I have made, and I have even mentioned Spring Day a few times before. As usual I suggest reading my other song analyses before you get into this one. You can find them all in My masterpost

I am going to talk mostly about connections that Taehyung has made and how he seems to use a lot of similar themes and references, but also things possibly connecting Vmin and Spring Day.

Lyrics and theme

Choreo and MV

Taehyung’s (and Jimin’s) love for Spring Day

Connections to Vmin’s songs

Overlapping themes

Other connections to Vmin

Taehyung's songs not being all he wants to say

Taehyung’s mixtape

Summary

In this part I will focus on Taehyung and things he has mentioned in regards to making songs. Mostly I will speculate about the mixtape and then there is a final summary of this series of posts and the things I found the most interesting to keep in mind.

This is the last part and also the shortest one. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this, so before anything I just want to say thank you all for reading, and hope that you found this analysis worth your time.

7 - Taehyung’s songs not being all he wants to say

This isn’t related to Vmin, but I also want to mention how it seems some songs of Taehyung might be a bit held back, or at least that he might not fully be able to express all he wants in them.

The first example is how Namjoon says this about 4 o’clock in his fan café post:

"Through this song, Taehyung may not be able to express all of his emotions, but I hope that we'll be able to express it as much as possible. I hope it is the closest expression of Taehyung's dawn!"

To me this all sounds like an important moment for Taehyung, with emotions he wanted to express. And Namjoon points out Taehyung might not be able to express "all of his emotions" as read in his fan café post. If this was all I might not react because I can understand it might be difficult for someone else to truly understand and fully express something that comes from someone else. For Stigma Namjoon also said it "sounds like Taehyung has his own story". But of course for most of their solo songs on Wings we didn’t get to hear all that much of the meaning behind them.

But somehow there are a few of these expressions and examples where it really seems like Taehyung might be held back somewhat, perhaps in particular when it comes to songwriting.

There is of course the Christmas song, and that is probably the most direct example. Even more so relevant from a Vmin perspective because it also touches on the subject of romantic expressions between Vmin because of the lyrics being “not fit for two men to sing” and being denied for that reason.

Then we also have the way Taehyung spoke about Sweet Night and Inner Child. 

First in this Vlive with Namjoon, where he said he tends to write what he has felt himself when speaking about Inner Child.

In the same clip Taehyung also said it was difficult to get to express the things he wanted. That the staff had a hard time and that he wasn't able to realize what was in his mind. But it’s very difficult to say if this was about sound or lyrics/expression.

It’s really impossible to make a song analysis for Vmin and not reference other analysis of other songs at this point... But I’ve talked about Sweet Night before in Sweet Night - Song analysis and HERE.

But then he later on also confirmed in an interview that Sweet Night in particular was meant for his mixtape, and thus not meant for the drama. Once again it’s a song that starts from Taehyung’s feelings.

We know that Taehyung likes to write things he has felt, and we know he has sometimes seemingly had struggles to express those things. I don’t know if these other examples (except with Happy Christmas) are more about being unable to express it because he doesn’t know how, but it could also be him not being able to express certain things.

Because then there is the "Tone it down" comment he apparently got to hear from Bang PD which Taehyung mentioned in relation to the making of BE when talking about his own mixtape.

Yoongi brings up a valid question, because while we know that Blue & Grey is a song that talks about Tae’s hardships and that BTS in general can bring up “darker” topics. We don’t know if this was a comment on a particular song or if Tae had several and we have no clue to what kind of details they might want Taehyung to tone down. I do know many (not just Vminies) have wondered if it might be LGBT+ related, but again we only have speculations here.

Speaking of LGBT+ I also can’t help but notice that there are 3 possible LGBT+ references in Taehyung’s songs. The first and most obvious being the lyric reference to the movie Moonlight in 4 o’clock, secondly the cover of Confessions of a mask seemingly being used as inspiration for imagery in Singularity, and thirdly the “You make me want to be a better man” line from Snow Flower being a possible reference from the movie As good as it gets. On top of this there is of course Happy Christmas basically being denied because it’s romantic lyrics that isn’t “fit” for Vmin to sing together.

I think that the music Taehyung makes is very important and personal to him, as he has said as much. I think it says very much that 4 o’clock and Happy Christmas involve Jimin to some extent at least and that Taehyung has many times talked about giving Jimin songs. If Taehyung is held back, it’s understandable that he would get frustrated. I think we even have a direct example with how he expressed the problem with his Christmas song live to us all.

What Taehyung gives us is things he wants to talk about and express, which to me is just another example of why looking at Taehyung and what he says and does kind of brings a bit more weight to any shipping or relationship conversation about him. 

Lyrics like “sharing my fragile truth” or “I'll be back to tell another story of mine” to me in combination with the way he emphasis wanting to be honest and write about things he has felt is just another layer to Taehyung’s songs I find interesting.

What all these examples brings to mind to me as a Vminie is the Vmin Unit interview and Taehyung's "As honestly as possible".

For me it feels like Taehyung is telling us his story and his feelings “as well as he can” by expressing things through his songs, but that there could be reasons he isn’t saying everything he wishes he could say and perhaps even that the company might advise him to keep some things a bit more vague.

8. Taehyung’s mixtape

There are a few interesting aspects about Taehyung’s mixtape and what we might get on it and this section will be more speculation and theories about upcoming things.

First of all we know that Taehyung said there is a song that will be very similar to 4 o’clock on his mixtape (he talked about this the same day as Vmin’s unit interview for Friends). Another translation explains it as more of a “continuation” of 4 o’clock, which is definitely interesting if that’s the case.

Then there is just the general fact that Vmin seem very interested in collaborating and show a lot of interest in each other’s music in general. 

We also got Taehyung mention he is writing a song for sleepless nights when he had a conversation with an ARMY on weverse May 4th 2020, meaning after the release of Sweet night but before Blue and Grey.

We did also get a snippet of the song “Sleep” on April 21st 2021 (at 4.24 am) so that could also have been the song he was talking about. Regardless Taehyung is really using this theme a lot.

We also got some interesting things from Taehyung which people wonder if it might have to do with his mixtape and a new song. It started on April 1st when Tae came back to Weverse after a while and, amongst others, commented on this post by an ARMY.

This is a very small detail, but the ARMY mentions Jimin as “a soft sunny spot of a spring day” and Taehyung as “the gentle breeze that brushes against your skin...” and Taehyung’s reply uses spring flowers (cherry blossoms) fluttering in the breeze. To be fair this is a reach, and it wouldn’t be weird if Tae didn’t think about Jimin’s role being in spring at all.

Then he tweeted about a song called Loop (by Peakboy) along with some cherry blossoms and a new expression.

Most interesting here is perhaps the line about “I am starting to feel more comfortable in the darkness.” As we know Taehyung seems to find the night sweet now, and this is another example that might point at it being something that has changed over time.

Then there is the "I flower purple you", which seems to be Taehyung's new name for cherry blossoms (or he just didn't have any better emoji). And if so the possibility of what that love means and how it can connect to spring and possibly Jimin (through his “Not Tata. It’s the face of I purple you” comment).

So we have the purple flower on the cover of Snow Flower and then Tae using Cherry blossoms together with the new tag. I am just saying that if Spring is a possible topic for a song on Taehyung’s album, I will be very curious to see what it says.

We also have Jimin drawing a Cherry blossom tree on his shoes in ITS. If Taehyung has been thinking about adding a song to his mixtape which uses references to spring or even more Cherry blossoms in particular, it’s possible Jimin was perhaps thinking of this song while choosing his motif. But this is definitely a reach and likely has no bigger meaning except that Jimin finds Cherry blossoms pretty.

And just recently at 4 o’clock in the morning on August 27th 2021 we had Jimin post “I miss you every single day” which does match with the lyrics of Spring Day “보고싶다”, though I definitely think this is too common to mean anything.

Still, there are a lot of small things to find, and either I am just finding things because I am looking, or there might be something to it. There are just a lot of matching things at this point, and I don’t know if they all can be random coincidences even though I am sure some of them are.

I don’t know if Taehyung will release his mixtape, or if he does if it will be what he wanted or at least started originally, but I hope he can release and sing the songs he wants to sing. Either way I will look forward to whatever he decided to share and am curious what stories he will sing about next.

9 - Summary

Spring Day was released in February 2017 as an addition to the Wings album on You never walk alone. Meaning it also comes very soon after Lie and Stigma which both have these themes of being in pain and feeling bad about themselves. There are also a lot of songs from Taehyung in particular (but also Jimin) about wanting to be together with someone but either having to wait or being unsure about the future. The time of release is the beginning of 2017, more precisely in February which was also a very good time for Vminies, not the least since we got the Soulmate claim. It was in other words during the Spring Day/Not today era where Vmin first claimed each other as soulmates in public.

If we put together that Taehyung both references the scene in 4 o'clock which Jimin is linked to, and uses scenes from Spring Day for Scenery it's possible Taehyung has done these references because they have personal meaning to him. And it's possible that since one of those references (4 o’clock) might be connected to Jimin that the other one (Spring Day) might be as well. Again, keep in mind the lyrics of Spring Day and in particular how it includes "you're my best friend" and how Taehyung has also used “Are you my best friend?” in the lyrics of Sweet Night which is also romantic.

Now of course this is all under the assumption that Winter Bear and Scenery too could be Vmin songs, but even if they aren’t at the very least it does seem to be examples of Spring Day being very important and inspiring for Taehyung. He references Spring Day directly for his own promotion of both Scenery and Winter Bear and considering the lyrics and themes I do think the songs could have connections through inspiration at least. If you want to read more on why those songs have other connections to Jimin you can also read my posts Vmin - Scenery, Promise and song connections and Vmin - Winter Bear analysis.

What we end up with are these:

Possible similar themes and lyrics between Spring Day and other Taehyung songs.

Possible thematic similarities for Jimin's songs as well.

Jimin and Taehyung both loving Spring Day and creating moments with each other during it.

Hobi referencing Spring Day in reaction to a Vmin moment.

Spring Day possibly being referenced for 4 o’clock release.

Spring Day being directly referenced in relation to Scenery twice.

Spring Day being referenced with the release promo for Winter Bear.

The possible scene between Vmin in the park from 4 o’clock being referenced in Scenery (also the release time of the teaser), meaning in extension Spring Day references to Scenery could have a connection to the same person.

Vmin both having a certain love for the winter season and night which they have used in their songs.

Friends including "Cold winters" as something they have gone through together.

Friends including them saying they want to stay together forever.

An interesting timeline with how Vmin was during Spring Day era and what songs Tae wrote around that time.

Many of the expressions in Taehyung’s songs matching how he talks and thinks about Jimin.

12 out of 13 songs having either the theme of Night/Day or Winter. And 4 out of these songs having confirmed direct links between Vmin.

As usual there are a lot of things in the details that are much more difficult to know if they have meaning or not, but at the very least there are many things that fits with the narrative that Spring Day means a lot to Taehyung and that he could be influenced by the themes and how they also match well with Jimin in particular.

If I would sum it up with Vmin as characters in this ongoing narrative in their songs it would look something like this:

Taehyung's perspective: It's difficult and he wonders what the future holds. He's unsure and doesn't know if he can pull Jimin closer even if he wants to and even if Jimin seems to feel the same it seems like a double edged sword. Being hidden or them not being able to be together as more than friends is something he struggles with. He wants to express himself and he tries through his songs. But even if they have each other now and he seems to gradually get more used to the "Night/Winter" over time, it is a constant struggle. He wishes that he was stronger, but Jmin being there with him helps him.

Jimin's perspective: We don't have as many songs from Jimin, so perhaps he doesn’t have as much of a need to express himself outwards in general. He is better at being ok with what they have, or at least at seeming like it. 'I say that it's all okay. But maybe that's not what I truly think.'. He can "sleep" early on and he smiles even though the smiles aren't always happy, and in contrast Taehyung can't. Basically what Jimin is doing is being better at hiding it. But Jimin also wants Taehyung to be his own light and night. In it all he also promises to stay and that Taehyung is his and expresses how he wants to be together when BTS is over.

I guess you could say that winter has been a hibernation period for their relationship. In particular for Jimin. But now they can both enjoy even this period because unlike earlier they are waiting together, they have reached each other, they can hold hands and give each other warmth when they need it. They know where they stand and have mostly reconciled with the thought of waiting to be together properly. Even if it's always going to be difficult.

I might be taking some of the lyrics a bit too literally. Either way it seems both of them are more ok with the current situation compared to before. To me if there is a Vmin perspective here it seems to slowly change with time in how they express it but that the want and wish to be together has always been there. It also seems possible that finally after all this time and uncertainty some things have become easier, and that there might even be change towards something even better in the future.

I’ve been working on this theory for a long time. Like I said, the original plan was to post on February 13th for the anniversary. But it was a lot bigger and took more time than expected. I also didn’t expect Taehyung to give me new reasons to raise my eyebrows. One being this new song 'Sleep' with it’s lyrics, and the other being the cherry blossoms he posted about. I am very curious to see what we might get for KTH1 when it comes out.

Spring is coming.

(Ok sorry for the joke but I am actually scared if Spring would be coming in regards to Taehyung's song narrative. Way more scary than Winter coming if you ask me.)

[straight-into-the-animus]

(Not) Getting Married Today (French Fryes)

This was a fic request for my amazing pal @etzee-ohs that was a long time coming, but finals kept getting in the way. Sorry about the wait and I really hope you enjoy it!!

Read on Ao3

Jacob could hear Evie’s heels clacking on the tile as she came into the bathroom, and quickly slid the lock shut on the stall door.

“This is the men’s room!” He tried to protest, but it came off as more a whine.

“Why’d you run off?”

“I had to piss.” Jacob scooted back on the toilet, almost willing his body to become more compact to avoid being seen.

“Are you a racehorse? You did it twice before we left the house as well.” Evie must have found where he was, since he could see through the gap in the bottom that her short heels and bottom of her pantsuit stopped in front of his stall door.

“Maybe I had a lot of water.”

“Are you even dressed? The ceremony is in an hour.”

Yes, Jacob was somewhat dressed. And no, Jacob didn’t need to be reminded of the time crunch. Arno’s family had gone full out with renting a hall for the ceremony and reception, a lovely villa in the countryside that was way too clean for the rustic look it was going for.

They said they want to take care of it all, Arno had smiled, obviously happy his family had such a blessing and wanted to help, and Jacob tried to get away with a joke that he still wanted a say in the catering and cake -- which he did get the choice of, and thoroughly enjoyed so much that he had hard times with every cake. It wasn’t going to be a big wedding, just the people closest to them. For the past thirty minutes even Jacob where he was had been able to hear the sound of tires crunching on gravel as expectant guests rolled up, and all made excited and general conversation. Jacob was a simple man and would’ve been happy to have a courthouse ceremony in their pajamas, so to get married in a hall was more than he ever dreamed of getting. But in the year and a half it took, neither of them backed out. Jacob didn’t say anything, never questioned Arno and why he wanted this, and he was regretting it.

It wasn’t to say he didn’t want to spend forever attached to Arno, because he did. He knew that even if they ended up splitting, which killed Jacob to think of, he’d never marry again because Arno would’ve been it. But he didn’t want Arno to spend forever attached to him.

“It’s not too late to run, right? I mean. We’re not gonna get the deposit back. I can send something to compensate Arno’s stepdad. You think they’ll accept American money?”

“I’ll drag you back if you think of leaving.”

“Can you just stop, Evie? You’re not helping.” Jacob got off the toilet and opened the door, taking in the concern of his sister’s face. “Why the fuck would Arno wanna marry me?”

“Because he obviously loves you. Can’t you see that? He asked you, right?”

“He asked ‘cause he doesn’t know anything.”

“You’re calling him stupid now?”

“No! Or- yes. Stupidly romantic. It sounds like a good idea but it’s just gonna be a pain in the ass for him eventually.”

Evie fixed him with a look that just seemed to scream that he was an idiot, and he hated it with all his heart because he knew he wasn’t. She spoke, slow and measured, and even if Jacob didn’t want to listen he did.

“You’re not a pain in the ass.” At Jacob’s snort, she rolled her eyes. “Not most of the time. Right now you’re pushing it a bit. But I think Arno really did know what he was doing when he proposed. Have you ever known Arno to back down on anything?”

And Jacob hadn’t -- it was why he was the best at pulling Arno away from fights or at the very least supervising to make sure it didn’t go too far. And why their rare arguments lasted for days sometimes. But he refused to answer and went to wash his hands all the same to avoid her.

“Okay, just- Just don’t cancel anything. Please. We can figure things out.” Evie put a hand on his shoulder and led him out the restroom to go to his actual room, getting no fight in the action. He felt like a livewire and she had to sense it by the way he was silent for once. “I need to step out for a minute to talk to someone and you’re going to relax. Okay?”

Jacob glared but did as asked, looking all the picture of a petulant and scared child as he sat down on the cream sofa.

--------------

Evie stepped out of the room, closing the door, before walking to the end of the hallway and dialing the first number in her contacts. Élise picked up within a few seconds.

“How is he?”

“I finally got him to settle down. He’s curled up on one of the couches. How about your brother?”

“This close to hyperventilating into a paper bag.” Élise sighed, and Evie heard her moving quickly to likely go somewhere more private. “He’s deadset on thinking Jacob doesn’t want this.”

“Obviously we can tell they’re made for each other if they’re going to be like this,” Evie mumbled, pacing a step back and forth at a time before something hit her. “I might have an idea.”

“I do love those.”

Evie grinned.

---------------

Evie waited a few minutes, unwilling to go back to verbal abuse, and came back into where Jacob was likely wanting to drown his sorrows, glancing up at her. At least he had moved on from the whining and shivering aspect and now just seemed to sulk in his seat.

“It’s fucking raining now.” Jacob bemoaned loudly, looking out at the dark sky that had just recently been light and sunny.

“I’m sure they’re moving anything they need to inside. And they say it’s good luck, you know.”

“They made that shit up to comfort the piss poor bride who lost her expensive summer wedding.” Jacob sniffed, and Evie tried not to notice the red puff under his eyes from rubbing them until it became too much.

“Do you want me to put some makeup on that? Get you all dapper?”

“There’s no point,” Jacob said, “there’s not going to be a wedding.”

“I promise you there will be. Everyone’s showed up, besides.”

Jacob sat back, obviously displeased with what she said. But at this point, she couldn’t mince words. It was all or nothing. Both of them were silent for a while before Evie’s phone buzzed, and she checked the notification.

“Here. A video to cheer you up, maybe.”

“Is it a virtual cat poster thing?”

Evie rolled her eyes and pulled up the video Élise had sent her, handing the phone over to Jacob. Jacob pressed the small triangle for play almost absently. The video had some motion in it of the phone being set up, and lean subtly against something small while two people were right in the middle of a conversation. He recognized the visible figure standing in front of one of the small mirrors, undoing and redoing his hair in an anxious manner.

Despite what Jacob thought, his heart did that standard skip it always did upon seeing him. He hadn’t gotten to see him since they arrived and separated, but Arno was half-dressed in his blue shirt and crisp dress pants, bowtie undone haphazardly.

“-don’t get why do you think Jacob is going to regret this? He said yes, didn’t he?”

Faintly he realized it was Élise speaking to Arno, and Arno sounded… panicked.

“He said yes because he didn’t know what he was getting into! I didn’t want that.”

Jacob’s heart sunk, but Arno continued, giving up on his hair with a frustrated groan.

“I’m grateful we did- Were going to do it here. And it’s beautiful. But… I’m not exactly marriage material, Élise. Don’t give me that look, it’s true. I’m an idiot most of the time. What happens when the honeymoon phase is over? And he realizes after a year or two that he doesn’t want to deal with me? It’s his right, but… I’d be heartbroken. And if I hurt him? I love him too much to put him through this.” Arno mumbled something else, sitting in one of the chairs with a dramatic huff and burying his face in his hands. There was one final line Jacob caught. “I’m nothing without him and he’s everything without me.”

Jacob was vaguely aware of Evie shouting about how he could’ve broken her phone, but he didn’t even realize he had dropped it as he hurried off. There could have been more but he didn’t need or care to hear it. He ran off through the hallway, almost knocking over poor waiters and workers alike as he looked for his fucking perfect fiance, who was somewhere thinking that Jacob couldn’t want him more than anything in any sense of the word.

Élise was waiting outside a door, and she barely looked up as Jacob stormed into the room she was near. Arno saw him in the mirror, jumped, and spun around, a tremulous smile playing on his face before it fell.

“What’s wrong, Ja-”

“I love you too, Arno. I said yes because I love you. Yeah, even with your fucking wardrobe and ego and attitude and smarts and good fucking heart.” He blurted out, not letting Arno get in a word edgewise before continuing. “Don’t you ever think you’re anything less than it for me, please.”

“Jacob, darling, mon amour , just breathe.” He held Jacob loosely but tried to get the man to look him straight in the eyes as he spoke. “Where- where is this coming from?”

“I saw the video. Evie had it. Where you said that shit all about you.”

“I- Élise filmed that?” He sent a half-hearted glare as if his sister could see him through the wall, but Jacob held his face and turned him back to look at him.

“I get it if you don’t wanna get married to me. But don’t be a dick to yourself in the process.”

“Of course I want to get married to you. I proposed. And I meant it.” Arno said, serious before turning shy. “I suppose… I just got worried. That I was being selfish by asking somehow.”

Jacob looked down, shyly grabbing Arno’s hand and playing with it. It was a distraction so he didn’t have to watch Arno’s no-doubt judgy gaze. “I was worried. I thought you were making a mistake with all this. With me.”

“I could never. If anything I was worried you’d be making a mistake with me. Compared to you, I’m-”

“You’re not nothing.” Jacob’s head snapped up. “Don’t say that again. ‘Sides,” Jacob ended up giving a half-smile, “I need someone around to keep me in line. That’s worth something, isn’t it?”

Arno smiled and ended up giving a somewhat surprised huff of laughter. He glanced down again. “Looks like we’re both a few idiots.”

“It’s us. I wasn’t expecting things to go perfectly.” Jacob’s smile grew at Arno’s second bit of laughter and it turned a bit sheepish. “So… After all that… Do we want to get married still?”

“If it means I get to have you for good, then of course. If you’re sure you want it as much as I do.” Arno looked up and gave a small smile, but it was brilliant and blinding. “But you’ll need to leave so I can finish getting ready.”

“I dunno. I quite like the idea of undoing your work so far.”

Arno chuckled and gently stopped Jacob’s hands from teasingly going too far up his chest.

“We’ll have the honeymoon for that. I promise.”

“Making me wait so long. Glad I know it’s gonna be worth it.” Jacob grumbled good-naturedly, and leaned in for a tender, chaste kiss. He was only barely pulled away when he spoke again, unable to help it. “I love you.”

“And I love you too.” Arno smiled. “Now. If we want to ‘do the damn thing’, as everyone says, we both have to finish getting ready.”

“Already nagging and we haven’t even exchanged rings.” Jacob grinned and gave him one final kiss before walking out of the room. Élise looked up as he left, and she grinned.

“Glad to see you’re finally acting like adults.”

“I’m definitely doing something at you and my sister’s wedding in return.” Jacob sent her a look, but he was smiling all the same before he hurried back to his room.

The wedding ended up starting just ten minutes behind schedule in one of the halls, hastily set up to work against the rain. But neither of them wanted to rush it.

---------------

Evie wanted to hit them for how much they ended up making everyone cry. There wasn’t a dry eye at the vows, or the kiss, or the reception, and Jacob and Arno held onto each other in a first dance that didn’t consist of anything more than just swaying in place. Evie and Élise sat back at the head table, red hair brushing Evie’s shoulders as Élise leaned on her.

“You think our wedding will be as hectic as theirs?” Evie asked, and Élise rested her chin on Evie’s shoulder as she looked up at her.

“Knowing us? Absolutely.”

Title and work inspired by Getting Married Today from the musical Company!

I hope you enjoy! If you do I have a Masterpost here and more ideas for writings and prompts here, so feel free to request! Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful day!