#but thats okay shes very eclectic in

[modpoppy]

favs from all my fandoms (new and old)

some of my favs from each fandom ive been in like ever

genshin impact: my fav of all time kaeya alberich i love him Very Much So, hes just one of those characters who its like. UGH. where he just wants to be sweet but cant let himself get too comfortable where he is (literally in his case). i also relate to him irt my relationship with my family/sibling. hes just constantly aware of other people both to be cautious and to know the people he cares about more, hes been shown canonically to pay close attention and provide gifts that he knew people wanted

runner up is ZHONGLI i related to him very much but i fogrgt why rn lol

kingdom hearts: xion, not for very long but right around when i was finally actualizing my gender identity (id previously been very agender/masc) i rlly took to xion for like. Gender Inspo. i felt like even tho she got the short end of the stick she did her damndest to forge her own identity (roxas got his whole game and arc about it while xion bascially got fridged but its fine). when i finally let myself consider who i would be as a fem person, i pictured her :D

one piece: sanji!! i already sorta liked him (okay maybe not in fishman island or thriller bark. that was. shit.) before heading into whole cake but. lord almighty. lemme tell ya i dont cry very easily over anime but whole cake took me OUT. sanji just tries so hard to be someone who doesnt cause the problems, hes cringe fail but he tries so hard to just be ALLOWED to exist bc hes fought so hard to believe he SHOULD uugggghhhhhhhhhhh. irt the straw hats i think he has some of the most unique and fleshed out philosophies (not wasting food) that his backstory perfectly contextualizes. also im on board with trans fem sanji

runner up is YAMATO he is so beautiful AND hes a kinnie whats not to love im just mad hes not in the straw hats (yet)

total drama: svetlana this was legit the only gif i could find of her on here. i dont need to explain myself svetlana sweep 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️

jjba: doppio/diavolo its FINE it COUNTS but technically 90% just doppio..... back in 2021(?) i dyed my hair like diavolo (pink with green spots) i feel like thats. all i need to say

ace attorney: to the surprise of absolutely no one THE PHANTOM ive just always attached to the whole. Not Being thing. in the past i struggled rlly hard with depersonalization/derealization/dissociation/basically every manifestation of the phantom, so id connect to them (which i dont think helped lol). nowadays, i focus rlly hard on the idea of the phantoms semi-redemption bc its like... being a person not being a required prerequisite to existing/being in society if that makes sense???? its complicated and probably only makes sense to me :P

runner up is obviously UENDO+ i love them all tell no one but i think kisegawa is my fav i wish she got more lines i actually only watched soj for them bc at the time everyone said the game was literal ass

(dw athena is in close third place shes literally my daughter)

rvb: if you asked me while i was a fan id probably say agent maine but in retrospect grif was clearly my fav, especially later in the show when he was one of the few leads who had a genuine character arc. he feels the most like a real person idk man

silent hill: every fucking gif of henry is him busting his ass thats all that needs be said

danganronpa: i changed favs very often bc i had zero idea what constituted well written characters lmao i have ~eclectic tastes~ but the main character i rlly liked was touko/syo, her arc in despair sisters afairc was decently well done and her relationship with komaru was sweet, even if dr is kinda an inescapable grease fire. in hindsight, i think i also related more to her than i realized bc of her self esteem and the way her trauma/phobias seemingly blocked her from basic self care/socialization but it was really more about her never having the courage to push her own boundaries (idk how well thats shown in the game but that was my experience)

runner up: korekiyo bc i liked him a lot for longer than most othr characters but afairc my perception of him was VERY heavily based on headcanons/fanon so i doubt id like him at all on a replay. best guess is id only maybe like shuichi or something. pretty much everyone in dr is an asshole tbh i cannot emphasize enough how ass my taste used to be my ability to pick characters i like boiled down to someone telling me a character was cool and i immedaitely absorbed them

pjo: okay so this bitch is in a book so ofc theres no gif for him but jason grace is the funniest motherfucker on the earth. half the time id say something out loud while reading and hed immediately say that exact thing. absolutely exquisite. bro had no idea what the fuck anyone was saying half the time

twst: i started playing for ruggie but immediately deuce also proved to be the funniest motherfucker ever i dont think ive ever seen his gimmick in anything else its so fucking funny i live for characters who seem like the straight man but then turn out to be equally as batshit as their peers (i stopped playing bc i had been misinformed and thought this was a college but these are HIGH SCHOOLERS why am i being isekaid into HIGH SCHOOL WTF)

now for some misc favs bc theres not really a fandom for them per se

i love him and he is me

oh my god and i found a gif of my favorite scene i love steven i also want to . attack him sometimes

[kirozai]

hello! I love the new blog and i think ill make myself comfy in here! I was wondering how the genshin cult worships god!reader probably for this aether, zhongli, and baal?

hi there!!! welcome to my blog and congrats on being my first ask! (if you cant tell im very happy you like my blog :D)

__________________________________

For you only you.

obsession, worship, genshin cult au, self awareness, yandere behavior, mentions of blood

characters included: aether, zhongli, and baal

aether

the traveller, the one looking for his sister, and your loyal lap dog.

it seems weird but his way of worship and caring for you is spending time with you. it gets lonely in a teapot all alone. at least that what he thinks. so being able to convince zhongli after a while you and him go on a walk together.

the birds are singing and the sun is bright! of course the best thing about the walk is you! paimon blabbing about what she would like to eat. you and aether talk about the scenery! after then you’ll go to wanmin restaurant to eat your favorite meal! you seem to always smile so.. let him worship you and spend time with you! anything you want shall be done!

zhongli

god of contracts, liyue’s archon, and your most loyal acolyte friend.

His worship is very eclectic, ranging to small things like cooking for you, or spending time with you. of course he does spill some bloodshed from time to time but its all for good thoughts! the person insulted you!!! how could he just stand there like that doing nothing!? >:(

the smell of universal peace fills the air. oh its time to eat made by yours truly. its taking a little bit longer then normal though. a scream pulls you out of your thoughts. oh so that thats why. hm. zhongli apologizes about the… distraction. he makes the food even more delicious! since he worships you so well just stay put okay? you dont need to do anything! just let him handle it! :)

baal

god of eternity, inazuma’s archon, and your loving acolyte.

the way she worships you is offerings one of the softer types of worship unlike killing in your name as someone else… not pointing fingers of course childe. (of course she never mentions it she wont be afraid to spill a little bit of blood.) of course she has a shrine for your offerings… it mostly includes candy, desserts, blood.

on this sunny day you and baal are walking to your shrine to pick things up. the immense variety of offerings lead to candy all the way to wine (i think) dont drink it of course. i dont think wine is that dense looking… of course! lets look at all of the sweets and desserts for you to try! its like a mini picnic with you and baal! shes been wanting to spend time with you since being the leader of inazuma is a very hard job! which leaves her no time to spend time with you. she apologizes profusely of course but for now. just take some time to enjoy with her.

______________________________________________

thank you for reading this and whoever requested this i hope i was able to fit what you wanted! thank you for the kind words!

kirozai out!

edited: no

[sag-dab-sar]

God Relationships & Communication: It's okay to be "Headblind"

One Heart Many Gods by Lucy Valunos Series Post #2

To her credit she notes specifically that people will disagree with some things and that she simply wrote this as a book of suggestions for beginners. I want to talk about this issue anyways so I'm simply using her book as one example among dozens. Because it is a perfect example even if she preface's that the book is entirely her opinions. ... I guess due to that I have to preface this post with: its my opinions as a long time former eclectic polytheist, now a Sumerian Revive/Recon polytheist and Hellenic Revive polytheist; combined with historical precedent

Also as a disclaimer: I have literally no idea what she means by devotional polytheism / a devotional practice versus like..... all other forms of modern paganism/polytheism? She empathizes how her booklet is building a devotional practice and I don't see many differences between what she describes and what headblind (we'll get there) polytheists do. Including devotees.

Essentially the entire premise of the booklet is relationships with your gods and communication with your gods.

Specifically interpersonal relationships, because the reciprocal giving of offerings and receiving of blessings, which Lucy does make note of, can be seen as a relationship. For some people simply worshipping can be seen as a relationship even if they are "headblind". But neither of these two examples are what she is describing and she makes that clear in her book.

The idea she expresses, and what I see all over the internet, when it comes to having a "relationship with [insert God]" is always equated to human-human interpersonal relationships. This is further showcased by every analogy that comes up when discussing the topic as always "how you treat your friends and family."

Each part of the book circles back to it. If you want this for yourself thats fine, do what you want, love and worship the gods as you want; but having a human like interpersonal relationship with a God(s) should not be promoted as necessary or foundational. The number of times I have seen people despairing over not having a godphone, not getting signs, not seeing their Gods etc is heartbreaking.

🔹Headblind🔹

This is a word I learned recently, it basically means someone who doesn't have a Godphone. Doesn't receive signs, feelings, dreams, can't communicate, etc.

Let me make something clear:

Headblindness is 100% okay.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with not having a godphone. You never need anything akin to communication that so many pagans push for. Its not a requirement. Your religion can be just as fulfilling as anyone else's even if you're "headblind".

The fact that an entire new term was coined to describe the inability to communicate concretely with the Gods blows my damn mind.

Seriously, read this post (by @dameaya) its enormously insightful on this topic and since I'm not fully headblind myself it's better to hear an explanation from someone who is.

Comparing what I consider my "godphone", to this book and the enormous amount of posts I've been seeing that espouse the same principle, I'd say I'm probably 90% headblind. If not a tad more considering the frequency of the events is incredibly minuscule, I never initiate the communication, its never a back and forth, half the time I wonder if its the God at all— which usually doesn't make much of a difference anyways. Its almost always regarding their idols & items, beginning/ending their daily worship, and I think 3 times an offering. Very little beyond that, which seems to run counter to the whole relationship godphone descriptions people emphasize.

Seriously, most of godphone experiences I've had come from Hygeia and I'm neither devoted to her nor dedicated anything to her.... she just likes her idol a very specific way. Athena is probably second. Communication plays very little role in my practice and, if anything, there have been years where it was completely and utterly non-existent.

🔹Communication🔹

She says:

A critical component of a relationship isn’t just giving and receiving gifts, which is basically what offerings and blessings are. It is actually talking to each other.

I mean if "each other" means its back and forth or frequent "godphoning", I am missing THE critical component with basically every single God I worship. Including the two I'm devoted to and the three I've dedicated aspects of my life to. Its never frequent and its never a conversation.

How many people in religions that never "died" which have multiple Gods or a concept like it (e.g Hinduism or Shinto) have interpersonal relationships where they talk with the Gods? Keep in mind Hinduism has 1 billion adherents.

Do you think every ancient person had a discussion with their gods?

Did every bride-to-be needed a discussion and relationship with Artemis, Aphrodite, and Hera? All who play roles in the marriage process, and a girl/woman's life in general.

Did every Athenian need an interpersonal relationship with Athena and talk to her?

Did every Isin citizen need an interpersonal relationship with Ninisina and to talk to her?

How does this concept make any sense when you put it in that perspective? It frustrates me to no end because it is so ingrained in modern paganism that people developed a term for people who can't communicate or perceive signs from the gods.

Whats funny from a Hellenic polytheist standpoint what she says isn't the most critical component of the relationship actually is, Kharis (by @verdantlyviolet) the reciprocal giving of offerings and receiving of blessings.

How can you know what your Gods want if you never ask Them? How can you know what They want from you if you never listen? This is a step you shouldn’t skip, even if you choose to incorporate it at some other time or in some other way. There are as many ways to listen as there are Gods.

"How can you know?" Religious tradition. You don't need to have UPG in order to pray or give offerings— ever. You could spend decades worshipping the Gods without ever being told what the Gods want from you. You can learn what those Gods were given, how they were prayed to, etc. If the information is scant in a particular tradition or pantheon due to lack of historical records scraping up just enough info to know about the God is fine, you could also look at neighboring cultures' practices as they may relate.

Then give prayers and offerings in a way you think respects them—no communication needed, no divination, no UPG, no relationship, and you're doing just as good as any other polytheists. Feel free to skip the step, I do every time, I only ever "listen" when the Gods themselves decide to activate my "godphone." Then there is a whole boat load of discernment involved.

🔹Divination🔹

Learning at least one method of divination to the best of your ability is indispensable. If one method doesn’t appeal, try another."

Again, I point to both modern religions and ancient ones. Divination was a profession. Like being a merchant or doctor, the hundreds upon hundreds of people who worshipped these Gods didn't personally know divination.

Now you might be thinking "well we don't have that structure so we have to adapt to the modern day!" My point isn't that we should or shouldn't use divination to commune with the divine. My point is: its not necessary. It can be helpful and fun but no polytheist should ever feel the need to know any form of divination to be worshipping correctly.

I actually find it dangerous to suggest personal divination to new comers. Divination is a skill, as is discernment (by @helvetica12point) that new comers may not have. Thus shoving them head first into "use divination to learn what your Gods want" could be setting them up to feel like they've failed, enforce confirmation bias, or simply become frustrated.

Unless you walked into this path knowing a divination technique already, divination shouldn't be on the list of "Things You Should Start With." It'd be like using the diving board on your first day at swim class.

🔹Interpersonal Deity Relationship Requirement🔹

I say requirement because every pagan/polytheist 101 book or blog post truly emphasizes this as a requirement. As do so many tumblr asks.

...devotion in practice is not simply saying a prayer or lighting a stick of incense. Those are the means, not the end. The end of devotion is connection with the Divine.

and saying a prayer and lighting a stick of incense isn't a connection to the divine because.........?

I fail to see how it isn't.

Ereškigal devotee here. Can confirm: saying prayers (including requests), lighting a stick of incense, and giving her some water is, indeed, a connection to the divine. The only difference in my specific practice is that prayer and that offering are solely to her and Namtar. Yes, it actually is that simple.

But when we zoom in a little past those major points in the Wheel of the Year, however it is observed in your tradition, there becomes a bit of a tangle for the typical Polytheist. We are Polytheists because we have many Gods. How can we possibly honor Them all on a daily basis, particularly if They all prefer different offerings? The answer is, we can’t. At least, not in more than a very general way. Even Gods in the same Pantheon are different and distinct from Each Other, with different preferences.

Their is no precedent to say "they all prefer different offerings".

That's completely absurd. Especially when you add "even in the same pantheon." Do God's have specific offerings they may like? Yes. There may be certain foods or drinks that were given to certain Gods within specific cultus but that would vary from location to location and hinged on what luxury items the people of that location had available to them not the Gods "personal preferences." Ereškigal may enjoy chocolate in my UPG, but guess what the Ancient Mesopotamians didn't have: chocolate.

How much variety did ancient people have in their diet compared to us?

Make sure to minus global food imports. Minus the all-year-round accessibility of most food today. Take into account the amount of, lack of, and location of trade routes. Make sure to remember what the average ancient worshipper could financially obtain and offer to the Gods.

When you start to take all that reality of the ancient world into account, even for the cultures where we have little writings, the variety of food they could offer vs what we can offer is vastly different. Remember, we aren't temples who are being funded by tax systems and empires able to demand the absolute best for the Gods. The logical conclusion is that (non-empire-funded-temples) people gave what they had available to them.

The idea that every single God has different personal preferences and you should stick to those preferences individually is entirely UPG. Which is fine.

But implying that we cannot worship a multitude of Gods at once, because they all prefer different offerings, is not fine. Its simply false and misleading.

I know there are new comers who feel they can't worship [insert Gods] because they don't know the specific offerings yet. Which is heartbreaking.

As for every God having different preferences: want an offering they can all enjoy? Water. Depending on the pantheon there may also be a variety of offerings across the board. Wine for Hellenic or beer for Sumerian. Maybe just a bit of bread for essentially any pantheon that had an agricultural society— including those with scant historical record simply by deduction.

Hellenic pantheon offerings (by @verdantlyviolet)

Mesopotamian pantheon offerings

If you can barely do anything in life water is perfect

Since the whole point is regular devotion and allowing our spirituality to enrich our daily lives rather than just the “holy days,” how are we to balance this? One possible solution is to honor a specific Deity each day of the week, using either personal or traditional associations to choose the day (or if all else fails, divination!) You could also opt to simply dedicate one day a month (preferably the same day each month if possible, such as the third Thursday or the first Sunday of each month) to honoring a particular Deity.

In my own practice, I am dedicated to a particular Deity, and He receives my daily acts of devotion, as well as one day a week where I seek to specially honor Him. Two other Deities who I am also more closely involved with are also honored each week, each on Their own appointed day. A couple more are honored once a month, and still Others only once or twice a year, on holy days that correspond with Them. For me right now, this keeps my practice to a reasonable time commitment and gives me adequate time to prepare offerings, etc. for each Deity without becoming overwhelmed.

The idea that offerings and time have to be given to each God individually is a manifestation of the interpersonal relationship requirement. Due to the individuality and emphasis on "quality time", like a friend, means you have to limit the number of Gods and parcel out your time among them. In this case, you should pick 1 day of the week or 1 day of the month to honor them; limiting the amount of Gods so as to not get overwhelmed.

Here is my hypothetical: If I have an interpersonal relationship with Hera, spend time with her at her shrine, meditating, communicate daily (pretending I could do that which I most certainly can't), offer her specific things she likes that I know of via UPG, give daily prayers specifically to her, the relationship Lucy explains, then that is a devotional practice. So unless I can do everything, or at least half the things, I listed for Hera with every other deity that I want to honor its only honoring them "in a very general way."? I suppose that makes sense since she very clearly explains what she means by devotion is quality time spent together and talking. [I should note she does write a section about chronic illnesses and that we can't always do things as planned etc so she did take that into account]

So I'd do this with Hera daily, but Zeus on Mondays, and Apollo of Wednesdays and Nanaya every 7th of the month and and and ...... that makes it way more complicated than it needs to be. Complicated enough that she constantly warns the reader about how this can become overwhelming. And shes right, having an interpersonal relationship with all the Gods you want to honor would be enormously overwhelming.

I would suggest starting with one or two Deities with Whom you are already relatively close or with Whom you wish to be closer, and focusing on Them to begin with. You can add in Others once you've found your feet! I say this again because it can’t be stressed enough: please resist the temptation to do everything at once and honor Everyone at once.

While you shouldn't do everything at once please find me a historical prayer that only mentions one God— like not even saying "son of Zeus," because that would make it two gods. I have a feeling those prayers are rare and for good reason: polytheism, the Gods are naturally interlaced.

You don't need an interpersonal relationship with the Gods, unless you want one. Even if you have an interpersonal relationship with 1 God doesn't mean you can't still honor 10 or more on a daily basis. Totally possible. Want to have interpersonal relationships with more than a few (as she mentioned)? Probably not possible.

Let me ask again: how is "simply saying a prayer or lighting a stick of incense" not worthy of being called devotion? I mean you probably want to combine the two not just one or the other, and add some water. But prayer, request, offering ...... is great, thats what you need. And it doesn't have to be one deity per prayer or per offering. Meaning you don't need to set up a schedule like the above in order to honor more Gods (you can set up a schedule for your own enjoyment and organization but its not required for the sake of the number of Gods).

Like give me a reason that simple act is not devotion, as she claimed.

Yes, there are libation days for various Gods in Hellenic tradition..... but those days aren't necessarily set aside to do everything I did in my hypothetical-Hera relationship. Yes, I've said that you should be giving your "all" to the Diĝirene but that consists of those 2-3 things just at varying sizes and elaborateness depending on your own life circumstances; an important difference is it can include a dozen Gods if you so desire.

As a side note: I'm not including things like becoming the best version of yourself, following the order, etc. I'm specifically focusing on worship, relationships, and communication with the Gods.

We won’t have the same relationship with any two Gods, just as we don’t have the same friendship with any two humans, and as time goes on and our relationships grow, we will naturally become closer to Some than we do with Others.

Ding ding ding I found a human-human analogy!!! Its in a few other places I noticed.

Let me examine my own worship practice based on the way Lucy, and many others, describe God interpersonal relationships and communication that is so heavily emphasized in the pagan/polytheist sphere:

Do I have an interpersonal relationship with Hestia? No. Do I still worship her? Yes, for 8 years.

Do I have an interpersonal relationship with Hypnos? No. Am I still going to pray for sleep during a bad night? Yes.

Have I experienced signs from An? No. Am I still going to honor and recognize him? Abso-fucking-lutely.

Have I ever had any godphone like experiences with Ĝeštinana? Nope. Been worshipping her for 4 years.

Did I ever receive a sign from Hermes, Hekate, and Apollo Argyieus? No. Am I going to honor them, pray to them, and offer to them as household Gods? Yes.

What about Ares and Ninĝirsu do I have interpersonal relationships with them? Nope. Have I dedicated my career goals to them? Yes.

Do I have an enormously deep connection to The Sun? Yes. Do I have a interpersonal relationship with them? No.

I have what can be described as an interpersonal relationship based on the book (or rather, as close as I can get to whats described in the book; minus the godphone) with maybe three Gods total. Yet, I currently have 8 on my daily altar, 15 if you include the ones on the prayer beads. My breakfast was dedicated to 12 named as well as "The Great Diĝirene and Theoi"

I have never had a communication line with any of them only them hitting me over the head with a feeling, dream, or emotion on occasion. I don't use divination to communicate with the Gods because I'm not skilled enough to trust it, nor do I want to. When I divine something I think its a spiritual tool, reading in to whatever can be called "fate," or "possible fate." Not a telephone to the Gods; and I rarely if ever take my conclusions on the reading as a message specifically from the Gods. I'd rather just worship and leave my requests in the hands of faith. I've been worshipping for 10 years [as of 2021]. Neither interpersonal relationship nor continual communication have ever been necessary.

If you want your polytheist practice to revolve around a few specific deities by developing individual interpersonal relationships that is perfectly fine! My issue is that ever Pagan 101 / Polytheist Beginner info brings this up. That relationships and communication with the Gods have become essentially bedrocks of modern paganism.

🔹Honoring Many Gods🔹

There are plenty of ways to honor and give thanks to a variety of Gods on the daily.

She is right there is no way to worship every God in existence. But its clear from context she means a high amount, above like 3, in a single sitting.

Here are some thoughts off the top of my head:

If you have an altar with many Gods invoke each of their names before pouring out a joint libation or giving a joint offering. Like I said mine currently has 8. And can end up with many more.

My Sumerian Meal-As-Offering prayer honors 6 Gods.

"[Say a Gods name, list one of the qualities you like about them, rinse repeat for however many Gods you want to honor] I bring this fruit and water as an offering to you. I seek your help for the rough day I have ahead of me tomorrow. Thank you." However many Gods you want

"To the Ouranic Theoi on high please accept this libation as my show of gratitude" Dozens of Gods.

"Great Diĝirene sweet is your praise" Few thousand Gods.

"Mighty Olympians, awe fulfilling, — Hestia, Zeus, Hermes, Aphrodite, Ares, Hephestos, Hera, Artemis, Apollo, Poseidon, Demeter, [Dionysos]— I say hail to you. Please be with me today as I [insert task]" 12/13 Gods.

"May the Annunaki of Heaven, upon their thrones, possessing mighty power, give me strength for this task. I shall praise you always" around 100 Gods.

"All the Theoi" "All the Diĝirene" "All the 'iluma" recognition of all in your specific pantheon.

Of course the rebuttal is that she said this "How can we possibly honor Them all on a daily basis [? ...] we can’t [...] At least, not in more than a very general way."

My point is, the "very general way" is more than enough to be a devout polytheist. A devotional one even.

A single offering or libation can be given to many many Gods. Prayers can include many many Gods. The idea that each has such specific preferences that you need to give individual specific offerings has no basis outside of Cult Centers. Again just give some water. Sure you aren't specifically building a relationship with all of them, but thats not necessary for offerings, blessings, requests, worship, ....being a polytheist.

🔹Final Thoughts🔹

God relationships & God communication should be opt-in aspects of polytheism/paganism. Not opt-out. And when the two are presented as fundamental I have a serious problem with it. In our current community and beginner guides forget opt-in / opt-out, the whole "option" part of it is abandoned.

In closing: Worship the Gods even if you never feel them. Have faith in the Gods even if you never get a sign. Trust the Gods even if you don't know divination. Become a better person even if the Gods don't ring you up to tell you exactly what to do. Do things in the name of your Gods without them giving specific guidance.

If you want an interpersonal relationship with the Gods that's cool too. Just stop pushing it as foundational.

-🔷🔷🔷-

One Heart Many Gods Book Series

Post #1 - Is Polytheism Really That Tough? | Author & Book Info

Thats it for this book, I had other post ideas for the series but honestly they wouldn't be particularly enjoyable to write and these two posts got across my major talking points in regards to the book. So yeh....first Book Series done 😅

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

Dude i just went through the entire band au tag and I am in love!!!! Since you said it was cool to pick your brain about the au i wanted to ask about Raz. Like, we know how he ends up with the band but like, i want those juicy details. Not to mention I'd love to know more about the dynamic he has with each member of the group. Is it like the game where you've got Adam warming up to him pretty quickly while Norma doesn't really like him at first? Do things change when Frazie and Dion tag along?

OKAY this is nice cus i have a few asks wondering abt Raz's relationship with the band and this lets me answer that while going into a little more detail;

raz's relationship with music is pretty similar to his relationship with psychics in canon, where he collects magazines and records and likes learning all about the bands he admires. His room is covered in all kinds of dollar store posters and zine clippings and he has a little beat up record player Nona gave him with some old records; a lot of his music taste is Old simply because that's all his family really had access to, similar to how Frazie likes the B-52s and the Bangles. I think he'd be really big on stuff like Elton John and Hall and Oates (:

his all time favorite band CURRENTLY though is one he'd only heard by happenstance over the radio, the Techno Duo of Sasha and Milla, AKA Sunshine Sinewave. their eclectic style blew his fuckign mind the first time he heard it and he really wants to try making stuff like that himself.

HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH LIZZIES BAND IS... a bit tense at first.

readmore cus as always i rambled a bit

some of them (namely lizzie, norma & gisu because they Dont have patience for kids) kind of saw him as a nuisance when he'd first started following them around the fair grounds, asking way too many questions about their set up and what they did for a living and what having a band is like.

adam ofc didn't really mind him from the get, because he has 3 siblings himself ( & one is a sister raz's age .) So He Gets It. once raz makes it obvious he isn't screwing around adam even lets him play on his keyboard sometimes (:

but ofc the initial reverse kidnapping scenario has all of them on edge about him at first. Norma especially is ticked because she thinks hes more of an issue than he's worth and is going to get them in trouble, which. She's right in her own way LMAO . when everyone else starts getting more used to him she's a little insulted by the fact that they're more likely to follow his lead than any of her own perfectly sound advice. (one of which being they really need to bring this kid back to his mother before theyre Arrested or worse, he gets them completely Lost) and she never really eases up on this until much later.

lizzie likes to mess with raz, she tends to make up tons of stories about what being in a band is like and things shes done. 100% she is a compulsive liar and raz believes every word of it.

gisu tends to take advantage of raz's helpful nature and has him do a lot of her roadie work BUT in exchange she lets him have some of her old tape decks so its 'fair.' she also mines him for embarrassing info abt dion which is fun for both of them

him and sam get along well enough but she also lies a lot about how band stuff works simply because she has the ability to make things work for her. shes very enigmatic that way. also she thinks hes insanely good for marketing.

MORRIS doesn't get to spend a lot of time with him but he does find him funny in an Overwhelming Child kind of way. raz is the only one who will listen to him blab on about radio play and bands no ones heard of for 2 hours

i think that dion and frazie being there doesnt change the dynamic much except in regards to like, them clashing a little more with the band than raz does initially for their own reasons-

except of course in Norma's case where raz bringing frazie along is both the best and worst thing thats ever happened to her and ultimately fuels her need to rat them out to raz's mom later because shes just so so self sabotaging.

[ambitionsource]

hi can we get some zaley friendship headcanons whenever you're free? ☺️

im not the best at headcanons just bc of the way my brain functions but im gonna do my best for you, sunny my friend. let’s go zay and riley let’s go!

thrift shop buddies!! one of the most common ways that they hang out is definitely going thrifting. considering they arguably have the two most eclectic wardrobes on the show, this makes sense. esp i fully believe they’re the perfect people to thrift shop with where they encourage each other to try on everything, even if it seems outlandish (and sometimes even more in those moments). that’s the only way to really get some good finds! and i feel like, beyond S1, when they wear items for performances in the show that are clearly unique / seem thrifted, it’s more than 50% likely the other helped them pick it out at some point

on this note, i think that they both have really good senses of what looks good on the other bc they spend this time together, probably better than anyone else (yes, including their significant others. not that that’s hard, since both of their significant others have notoriously bland fashion). like even when theyre not out together i can totally imagine them seeing something and being like “oh this is so riley / zay” and getting it for each other. they know each other’s sizes and have like an ongoing swap credit system gfJSKHJDLFH

riley and zay usually run performance by the other person before they perform them for the class / at an audition. like they find a specific time (usually during breakout sessions during class) to get in front of the other person and run them through their concept + do a run-through for them. they just really appreciate the other’s perspective, especially since they tend to complement each other -- zay is able to identify places where riley could heighten things or add some flair or just like... assert her talent more lmao, whereas riley helps zay pull back on some of his more overwhelming instincts when necessary or find the moments to truly lean in emotionally rather than blowing us out of the water the whole time

if we could actually Watch the show, i guarantee 9/10 times when riley or zay is performing, we would cut to the other enjoying the performance. like theyre always bobbing their head along and truly feelin the other’s performances. excellent vibes luv!

i also think they harmonize well with each other, which is why its kind of a shame they dont do more performances together within the context of assignments (as for why, couldn’t tell you... it might just be a weird psychological thing of like i have These people i perform with when it matters and these who are just for fun... like maybe zay and riley tend to see each other as easygoing comfortable duet partners and thats why they try not to overdo putting pressure on it). but yeah they absolutely have days where they just hang out in one of the rehearsal studios and play around on the piano and try to find ways to harmonize on their favorite songs. this is some of the best singing riley ever does, bc its so low stakes and fun

i also think that honestly, zay really helps strengthen riley’s vocals over the time they’re friends -- especially early on. riley is someone with good raw talent but she’s never thought about honing it seriously prior to joining aaa, whereas zay has been on a career mindset since he was little. so he is good at teaching her like small technique things or helping her expand her range and she really values that esp bc hes so selfless about giving it, but it doesnt come off naggy or unnecessary like maya’s advice often does

sometimes it can be hard for them to find songs they both wanna sing though bc their music taste is so different. i think they have like three small categories where their favorites overlap -- select big names (sza, chloe x halle), jazz / old-time crooners (frank sinatra, nina simone, and the like), and select musical theater. but i think this is mainly on zay, bc he’s much more picky about music than riley who will give anything a listen without much nudging. as we know zay likes to pick on his friends’ music taste (like charlie and harry styles / 1d) and i don’t think riley would escape this affectionate teasing. they exchange song recs and riley gives him like her usual piano ballad-y sara bareilles tswift rachael yamagata energy and shes like oh yes, another piano ballad and hes like STOP!!! JUST LISTEEEENNNN GFSJKLHJFDSKLHKDLFH

that said though, they’re definitely go-to friends when it comes to like checking out a new local artist or coffeeshop open mic nights. this is probably a typical zay / riley / yindra outing

zay doesn’t spend a ton of time watching tv bc “he has better things to do with his time,” but riley and zay are definitely the type to watch a show together. like not always Together, but they’ll try to keep up with each other so that they can talk about it (and riley has to try really hard not to keep binging and get way ahead of zay). theyre good at this bc they can have really intense and opinionated conversations about it but in a way where its like safe and neither of them feel like theyre actually being judged / are stupid if they disagree (something thats not common for riley, and zay usually is trying to discuss media with super strong personalities who aren’t great at Debating).

in general, though, they tend to agree on favorite characters / relationships. for example, they both hate rachel berry -- which always gets maya and farkle extremely heated if they’re around. i can only imagine why...

they’re also definitely safe-space vent people for each other. they don’t use the privilege all that often bc i think both of them try to like keep their cool and not get hung up about things, but if they really just have to pop off about something they know they can go to the other person and they’ll actually Listen and keep it under wraps rather than either spilling it to everyone else and/or immediately trying to problem solve rather than just listening to the Emotions. and it’s helpful bc for the most part, their friends don’t actually really overlap that much, so they don’t really like harbor the emotions the other person unloads on them or let it affect their dynamics with other people? like riley can talk about dasher and zay can talk about yingel without it having any ripple consequences bc theyre different circles.

for example, i can totally see riley talking to zay about how she feels like -- at first -- asher doesn’t really like her and won’t really let her in and like he doesn’t want her to join the friend group (even tho that isn’t really true). like she can’t talk to dylan about it bc she’s not going to put him in that position and she’s not foolish enough to think that’s a good idea, she can’t talk to lucas about it bc he like doesn’t get stuff like that gFJKHGLFJSDLH and also he has such a set impression of asher it would be hard for him to understand it from her perspective. zay has none of that, so hes a good person to listen to her nerves about it.

the only times this gets kind of complicated / janky is in the midst of zay x charlie stuff where riley is kind of unintentionally (or, sometimes, intentionally) in the middle. like, zay trusts her not to go telling charlie what he says about him, but he knows they’re good friends too, and its an awkward position to put her in. but still, i think when zay is really hurt or frustrated he’ll snap sometimes and just vent out all his anger about charlie to riley in one foul swoop, and she’ll just absorb it like a sponge without judgment and then not bring it up again. but you can also see little ways where this puts pressure on their friendship, like how when he was drunk in 304 zay expressed resentment towards the fact that riley also talks to charlie and sometimes he feels like she puts him first, even though that isn’t true. it’s just..... a very very complicated (and interesting, if emotional) situation with that trio.

that being said, when things are Good, i think that zay feels comfortable talking about his significant others (including charlie) with riley. he doesn’t really get too Detailed about anything personal or anything, but they definitely discussed charlie in s2 in the small window of time where riley knew and zc wasn’t actively imploding LMAO. on the flip side, riley doesn’t really talk to zay about her relationships, but only bc her relationship is lucas GJFSKLJHLKDJHFLDSH. like anyone else she’d be like okay sure this is fine but she knows zay finds lucas annoying 65% of the time and talking about him in a romantic context grosses him out so she respects that LMAOOOO. hysterical

in general, if they’re gonna hang out, they usually go to either a local coffee shop they like (like svorskis) or each other’s houses. its kind of a relief to have a person they can just take anywhere and have around their parents with no trouble at all, considering both of them are used to having a boyfriend who cant be seen in their house (for different reasons). and theyre comfortable enough that like i think when they hang out at their houses, they just spread out in the living area of both bc theyre not hiding anything, its like very lowkey and comfortable

that being said, riley doesnt spend much time in zay’s usual studio at school. most people don’t, its a place zay now likes to be alone (and it feels weird with someone else being there who isnt charlie)

as for how they come off to their families, the babineauxs love riley. jada has met her a couple of times and thinks she’s super sweet + zay could afford to learn a thing or two from her like how to chill the fuck out (cue zay going shut the fuck up). donna is excited that zay has another friend who isn’t batshit intense about stuff like maya / farkle, she figures yindra has the diva best friend role covered and zay needs more friends like nigel and riley to ground him. she’s right about this.

cory likes zay, but he also does have some prejudices from the teaching perspective about how zay doesn’t pay attention in class half the time and blows off his assignments -- but this isn’t partially because cory isn’t a great teacher and his assignments suck. so the feeling is mutual, tho zay gets along better with cory in a neutral, polite sense than say, asher and dylan, where it’s like guerilla psychological warfare. topanga has no opinion about zay bc riley doesn’t introduce her friends to her (wisely).

they’re still very common lunch buddies. essentially when riley isn’t eating with the techies (which is only when lucas is there usually) or bothering lucas in the booth once a week, she’s with zay (which usually also means nigel, yindra, and farkle, though not always)

ultimately, i think that when someone asks riley who her best friend is, her mind will always jump to zay first. not even because theyre necessarily the closest at any given time, but because he really was her first life raft at aaa and he extended that kindness to her in a moment where she was so used to being brushed aside, talked over, ridiculed -- and you don’t forget that. it stays with you. so when she thinks about her Best Friend, speed round answer, he will always come to mind first. i think she greatly admires his skillful balance of confidence and compassion, his sarcastic sense of humor, the way he gets so passionate about dance and music and how these elements come together, and his inarguable kindness that is at his core and so fundamental to everything he does (even when his more known reputation is a bit more barbed and witty).

on the flip side, i think riley came into zay’s life at the exact moment he needed it. we know he felt isolated in s1, and even though i think he thinks of nigel and yindra as his first-to-mind best friends, riley was a breath of fresh air who allowed him to be himself with someone who wasnt going to judge him on past decisions or impressions. just like he gave her the chance to define herself in his eyes with his extension of company on that first day, she does the same for him by not making assumptions about him and learning who he is on their terms. i think she’s also just a really great, measured system of support -- she’s not busting his balls or keeping him in check like yindra and nigel do (except when its really needed, like 304), but she isn’t as in awe / romanticized with him like charlie. i think he appreciates that he can go to her for an honest perspective, but she’ll take the care to deliver that honesty in a gentle way. it’s like, he’s tough enough to take a hit, but sometimes its nice to know you have someone who will be kind with you even then.

that’s what is at the core of their friendship overall. kindness.

-- Maggie

[demigodsanswer]

What are everyones favorite songs/bands?

(all links go to Youtube)

Percy: It’s been said before, but this boy is a music snob. He only listens to “real music” and for sure has London Calling and Sticky Fingers on vinyl. Sally can always tell when he’s had a bad day, because he comes home and listens to The Wall (because he’s a drama queen). Bisexual music snob Percy for sure has this poster of Jim Morrison on his wall, and not just because he’s a fan of The Doors: 

He is also a fan of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. His favorite song by them is “Easily” (some of the lyrics are: “The story of a woman on the morning of a war / Remind me, if you will, exactly what we're fighting for / Throw me to the wolves because there's order in the pack / Throw me to the sky because I know I'm coming back”). He’s also a fan of Rise Against, and his favorite album by them is Appeal to Reason. 

Annabeth: Listen, I’m gonna say something potentially controversial, but it’s something I believe very strongly in. Annabeth is a Britney Spears fan. Hard core. She was born in 1993 and got to camp in 2000. You know that older girls at camp were all learning the dance moves to “Oops I Did It Again” and she learned with them. In 2007, when Britney had her breakdown, Annabeth looked back on her own past three years - the quest for the lightning bolt, the sea of monsters, holding up the sky, and going into the Labyrinth, and she just thought “Oh okay. I’m not gonna do it, but I totally get it.”

And for a while she hid this, writing it off as a guilty pleasure. But then, somewhere after the war with Gaia, she was finally like “fuck it. I’m Annabeth Chase, I’ve saved the world, I redesigned Olympus. I like Britney Spears and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.” Now she’ll unironically say things like: “I didn’t like the Greatest Showman, I thought it was too derivative of the Britney Spears Circus music video.” This does annoy her music snob boyfriend to no end, but she just responds to his complaints with: “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over how much fun I’m having.” 

Grover: I feel like he and Percy just chill in the woods and listen to the Grateful Dead while Grover plays covers of their songs on his reed pipes. 

Nico: This is also potentially controversial. I don’t think he’d really like pop punk or emo music. I think that he’d actually really enjoy more mellow indie-folk music. I think he’d love Hozier (favorite song is “Be” and “In a Week”. He also loves Hadestown, both the musical and the original concept album. Besides Hozier, he also loves the band the Oh Hellos. His favorite song by them (and possibly his favorite song of all time) is “Dear Wormwood.” 

Thalia: Green Day, but especially newer Green Day. She did not pay attention to the parental advisory warning on American Idiot and now she’s gay and she hates the government. Her favorite song is “Letterbomb,” and, although she’s not a fan of musical theater generally, she has to admit that Rebecca Naomi Jones killed that song on the musical album. 

Piper: I don’t know what her favorite band would be, but she for sure has the energy of someone who says “Oh yeah, I like Panic! at the Disco, but only their early stuff, like A Fever You Can’t Swear Out and Pretty Odd.” But then she secretly jams to Prey for the Wicked. 

Leo: He for sure likes comedy music, like Bo Burnham (favorite song is the Kanye Rant) and Lewberger’s “White People Taco Night.”

Jason: Jason has the energy of a white boy who loves the Beatles. His favorite song is probably “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.” His favorite movie is “Across the Universe.” 

Hazel: I don’t know what her favorite band/singer/song would be, but I do know that Jason tried to get her to listen to Abby Road once, and she laughed in his face. 

Frank: I think that Frank just vibes with everything. Doesn’t matter what it is. Spotify is so confused by what to recommend him, because he’s just got the most eclectic playlists. The algorithm is like “Do you want show tunes? KPop? Rock? R&B? What do you want??”

Clarisse: I don’t think she’d really care about music that much, she just wants music thats upbeat to workout to. If she were to go to a band’s concert live, she’d probably go see the Dropkick Murphy's; they’re probably the only band that she actually listens to when she’s not working out (she prefers audiobooks and podcasts for things like commutes to work/class and downtime). Her favorite song by them is “Rose Tattoo.” One time, she wore a Murphy’s tee shirt to a bar, and the bartender asked if she was from Boston or if she was Irish, and she just said: “No, but I’m white and violent, so I feel spiritually connected to them.”

Will: I think that he’d be the one to be obsessed with early 2000s pop punk and emo music. Fall Out Boy, Taking Back Sunday, Say Anything, all of it. He hears the opening chords to “Cute Without the E” and he loses his damn mind. 

I can’t do everyone, because I’ve pretty much only listened to the same 48 songs for the last decade. Also my youtube algorithm is not fucked from searching for all this music. 

[hadleymorrison]

                            hadley  jane  morrison . 33 . pediatric  nurse .                           resident  tragedy  &&  walking  ray  of   sunshine . 

mentions of undiagnosed mental illness , alzheimers , death , 

PERSONALITY  OVERVIEW :  

hadley  is  a  free  spirit.  she  does  what  she   pleases  as  it  suits  her (  provided  it  does  not  endanger  or  inconvenience  those  she  loves  ) and  is  always  looking  for  new experiences .  she’s  incredibly  clever,  and  would  pride  herself  on  her  wit  (  although  others  might  not  find  it  as  endlessly  hilarious  as  she  does .  )  she’s  quite  goofy ,  with   a  wide  and  eclectic  set  of  interests .  she  does  have  the  tendency  to  be  blunt  and  give  opinions  & advice when  no  one’s  asked  for  it.  she  can  be  headstrong ,  favoring  her  own  ideas  to  those  of  others .  in  the  same   vein , she  is  stubborn ,  and  doesn’t  like  to  admit  when  she’s  wrong . it  takes  quite  a  lot  to  get  her riled up, but one certainly wouldn’t want to get on her bad side : she  has  quite  the  temper.   her  moods  are i ncredibly changeable ,  something  that  she  tries  to  ignore .   most   importantly  ,   she   leads   with  KINDNESS  .   she  is  a  remarkable  friend  that  will  go  to  extremes  in  order  to  assure  the  safety  and  comfort  of  the  people  she  cares  for .   those  she  loves ,  she  loves  with  her  whole  heart .  she’s  incredibly  nurturing ,  too .  on  a  daily  basis ,  she  strives  to  be  compassionate ,  patient ,  and  understanding . 

BACKGROUND

                 “THAT  HADLEY . . . SHE’S  A  GOOD�� GIRL.”  was  the  phrase  most  uttered  during  hadley’s  youth .  and  truthfully ,  she  was .  she  is .  miss congeniality  in  high  schoo.   she  looked  after  her  siblings (  younger , and  elder  )  she  was  kind  to  herself  and  others.  a  little  zany ,  perhaps .  but  a  good  girl . 

HADLEY was  born  to  a  pretty  ‘typical’  family  of  6  in   lakeview  and was the middle  of four  siblings . her  mother  was  a ‘bananas’  amazing  composer  ,  but  passed  away  a  few years  ago .  HER  DAD  ,  a  raging  irishman ,  is  an  eclectic  guy  and   founded  ‘ morrison  on  maine ‘ a  boutique-y  kind  of  bookstore  that  often  costs  more  to  run  than  it  makes  in profit .  she  grew  up  in  that  store , and  it  fueled  her  love  for  words,  adventure ,   and  literature. she  grew  up  convinced  that  she  was  going  to  be  a  writer , until  she  found  out that  she  was  also  passionate  about  people  &  science . nursing  called  to  her.

it  was  in  nursing  school  that  hadley  met  (  at  the  time ,  who  se  believed  to  be  )  the  love  of  her  life .  the  two  understood  each  other  on  a  soul  level.  they  were  the  same  in  so  many  ways ,  and  different  in  so  many  others .  he  was  her  person - -  he  remains  her  person  to  this  day.  but  life  isn’t  always  so  kind.  hadley  noticed  her  father becoming  more  and  more  confused  without  the  presence  of  her  mother.  she  knew  what  was coming,  but  instead, channeled her energy into her job , his family,  into  healing  sick  kids. 

 she  lived  vicariously  through  his  sister  , a  single  mother  of  two  young children . she loved being cool  auntie  hads. and  when  her  father’s  early  onset  alzheimers  became  too  much ,  and  her  brother’s  recklesness  was  too  much  for  her  to  carry  alone,  and  her  relationship erached an impasse at the big things : marriage and children,   she  got  scared.  restless and  fidgety ,  she  ran.  for  a  few  years ,  she  took  a  job  in  a  new  city . it  was  enough  to  soothe  her  soul  ,  and  fill  it  with  a  new  kind  of  loneliness (  for  a  while  ). 

hadley’s  life  changed  completely  when  she  received  a  call  in  the  middle  of  the  night .  her  big  sister  had  passed  away  suddenly ,  leaving  her the guardian  of  his  niece  and  nephew .  ( ages 3 and eight months , respectively ) without  a  thought , hadley  moved into his sister’s place,  back  to  lakeview and took up the life of a parent. the  transition  has  been  more  difficult  than hadley  could  have  imagined .  her  grief  aside ,  she  is  quickly  realizing thats he has no idea how to do any of this. while she does the best he can , she often feels overwhelmed by the responsibility that has been placed on her  shoulders.

MISCELLANEOUS FACTOIDS :

she has a cat that hates everyone, including her.

she works in the pediatric emergency  ward – she is GREAT with kids even though she swears she doesn’t want them  ( but now she has  them ) 

she is sassy & witty and i support everything she does

adventurous a f??

her mother was a composer and SHE is a secret piano genius but she doesn’t play so very much anymore.

she’s a BIT scatterbrained , but only when it comes to herself. she’s incredibly good at her job and looking after others.

she’s left handed !

she’s repressed a lot of residual trauma related to her sister.

she and her eldest brother are currently splitting time looking after their dad . they want to keep him out of an assisted living facility for as long as possible , but hads understands that that’s not a realistic option. it’s becoming a huge strain on the family & on hadley.

hadley is extremly fidgety and often comes across as someone with a ‘ SKITTISH ‘disposition. she often picks up new hobbies like knitting and crochet to keep her hands busy

she’s really zany but also really sweet and fun and i love her okay?

loves movies??? more than anything?? and also superheroes ??

hadley  is  struggling  with  undiagnosed  bipolar  disorder ,  and  really  needs  someone  to  help  her  with  her  mental  health  struggle. 

she is one of the most compassionate people you will ever meet. but also will give you tough love if you need it.

pls love her.

WANTED  CONNECTIONS

SEE MAIN FOR 3 POSTED WCS

co-workers

friends / neighbors

people who knew hadley’s sister

childhood friends

people who babysit hadley’s niece and nephew

frequenters of morrison on maiine

general friends

casual flings

hadley’s therapist or life coach

someone helping hadley get the handle on parenting

former exes

more tba

[lovingnekoma]

Hi Artemis! I LOVE the theme and aesthetic of your cafe?! It's so beautiful here! Anyway, can I get a Vietnamese iced coffee, to go? I go by she/her. My style's simple, minimalist: neutrals/B&W athleisure and toned-down academia. I'm 5'4" w/medium length brown hair, athletic build, a youthful face + warm eyes. My personality type is ENFP and I'm a Slytherin if this helps. I'm pretty easy-going and my favorite things are citrus bonbons and crisp fall mornings at a coffee shop. Thank you! Tip: ❤

TO GO thats so cute i’m slfjklskfs

i match you with... komori !

headcanons 4 u

i’m screaming!!! soft autumn dates w komori!!! you guys wear the softest sweaters!!!! hes been tryna get into fashion so he has a cute lil fuzzy bucket hat and you roast him for it but like lovingly bc he does look really cute. hes kinda on a crunch some mornings bc hes got practice or weight training or whatever pro volleyball players do so its not uncommon for him to wake up wayyy before you. if you guys cant swing by a cafe together before parting ways or spend the morning together, he does a GREAT homemade cold brew and makes it ✨seasonal✨too also when you do drivethrus if you’re in two diff cars he always tries to be ahead of you in line to pay for you behind him. also sometimes he asks the barista to tell you that you’re very cute when you pull up after him bc hes got a michevious side

okay so see theoretically komori is Not a Slytherin so you mayyy destroy him. hOWEVER you are an enfp and as an enfp you are Good With People. very caring yes. you know who else is caring? komori. lots of like, good communication and love languages going on. if i wrote a fic about you two there would be gratitious hand holding and cuddles and sweater trading. he tells you that your booty looks cute in your leggings in those exact words at least once a week. we appreciate all booties in this household but komori jus thinks you’re very nice in every way and will compliment you wholly

homemade chocolates are like, A Thing in japan so komori tries to make you citrus bonbons himself!! hes a decent cook and a better baker and he tries to surprise you but you like, Found Out. mostly bc you were searching for chocolate and then found the like, the stash of ingredients hidden in that one top shelf that has like nothing in it but kitchen decor that nobody ever uses bc its the kitchen. i mean, komori likes kitchen decor tho and likes feeling festive so he has,, seasonal decor and you humour him lmao but anyway. you Know but you kinda let him do his own thing and the bonbons are really yummy and he kinda figures you know but you both jus humour each other <3 this was so convoluted i’m so sorry lmao

idk if youre a kpop fan at all but i kinda headcanon komori’s style to be like j-hope’s? it’s kinda eclectic and can be kinda bright he went to the high school w toxic waste colours and isnt as emo as sakusa idk what anybody expects so its def super different from yours. you still take all his cute crewnecks to make a killer academia fit tho and the contrast is acc really interesting. you both find it kinda cool to see how like, similar but different you both are and this kinda winds into part clowning each other and part conversation on individuality w/ a little kissing involved

your apartmentttt is goalssss. GOALS. for all komori has his own bright clothing style, he does prefer a kinda cozy simple look. or like,, soft clutter culture. you guys curate a really nice apartment i feel w lots of light and neutrals and soft pieces (like a rug or a super soft couch. komori def spend big on a cloud couch) and y’all add like fun little pieces. coin flip on who goes vintage who goes modern and which rooms they go in. lately ive been kinda obsessing over like,, candle sand and i feel like thats sakusa’s housewarming gift to you is candle sand and a really pretty bowl thing to pour it in. the ambiance is like very clean lines and warm even tho its pretty neutral toned overall. maybe some jewel tones idk.

i keep breaking my 3-5 headcanons thing but i jus have misc headcanons so: y’alll get plants! i feel like you guys at least have a lil succulent bb and name it something very funny lmao. also komori’s social feeds used to have lots of food pics and to this day y’all occasionally clown him for it. also you guys send each other pics of random cats and dogs you see on the street. when you’re having a bad day or morning he’ll make sure to bring you to your fav coffee shop to vibe, have your fav coffee & meal delivered to you if he can’t, and/or give you flowers and a kiss.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Hello I'm having maiaphael feelings and you're legit the only person who I can SCREAM about them to. Jdhdhdgdgd do you think they would serenate to each other? Because I had the cutest thought of them cuddling beneath like 8 blankets because "Mr. I have to feel warm and toasty at all times" they just cuddle and softly sing to each other giggling while they forget the lyrics because they get sappy with each other.

omg!!!! yes!!!! jsnsisnsysbsusbsisn absolutely!!! also im wheezing @ warm and toasty ur so correct i accept nothing else!!

i think Raphael 100% secretly can sing, but Maia is the only one he actually sings to other than Madzie (Simon is a professional singer and thats intimidating, okay, and Meliorn isnt very big on being serenaded. Magnus and him sometimes hum or listen to music together but rarely sing). and like imma go to the blankets thing in a second because that is 100% adorable and i love it, but the image of Raphael serenading Maia.... using music to express how he feels about her.... inspired

this is not exactly a romantic song but I'm picturing like. sometimes it gets hard for maia, you know? like she puts so much work into her projects, into the shadow world, into improving the downworlder community, and there are still. people who snicker at her for her relationship with raphael. werewolves who consider her a traitor. racism from shadowhunters, constantly. and shes tired, because she's working so hard, with the pack and Taki's and the Council and everything, and sometimes it feels fruitless?? you know? and i just picture him singing creo en tí (by ana tijoux and juan ayala) (for non spanish speakers, that means "i believe in you")

things i love about this song:

it mentions anger and talks about anger being born of pain and fueling a fight that's about love, which in my humble opinion, FUCKS. it's really refreshing to see a song that validates anger, particularly anger that's born as a reaction to violence, and reminding that it's a fuel for change, and love. i love the positivation of anger in that and i think it could be especially meaningful for maia as a Black woman constantly fighting the "angry Black woman" stereotype

it talks about change and how it comes slowly but that's okay and how little things matter and changing the world begins at their own environment and small things, is a work that you do everyday, together

it's really soft and loving?? even if it's not a romantic song, it just has so much affection and love both for the person theyre singing to and just. the world, and humanity, and the change they want to bring in general

it tackles how hard it is to try to make change in the world and how even as you stumble and break down and fail, you're still worth believing in

Juan Ayala's part in particular is super soft and loving and I'm not gonna put the whole lyrics here (tho i super recommend that u check them out because aaaaaaa) but look at this lil part

En lo pequeño radica la fuerza

Con tu cariño yo caminare

Imaginando rutinas bellas

Para dar vuelta el mundo al revés

Empezar por nuestra casa primero

Romper con todos nuestros miedos

Ser consecuente

De cuerpo y de mente

Para alzar el vuelo por senderos nuevos

Porque tu luz cotidiana

Enciende la sonrisa que sale por la mañana

(Creo en ti)

Porque veo tu fuerza inexplicable

Esa justa dignidad inconmensurable

(Creo en ti)

Yo reafirmo que tu rabia proviene del dolor

Y tu lucha florece del amor

(Creo en ti)

Porque en ti, me veo yo

(Creo en ti)

I'm soft for that shit okaY. like all the love and support it expresses! the validation of her feelings and struggles and the reminder that shes still strong and worth believing in. the softness!! the part about her light lights up a smile in him... BECAUSE IN YOU I SEE MYSELF..... bro wait a second, wait a fucking second didndidndkdndk IM WEAk

but okay back to the covers part!!!!! I'm just ..... hmm hddhjd having all the feels for that, the both of them under the covers, singing, Maia teasing him because he's 100% a secret sap and loves dramatic soft love songs, while Maia... is eclectic i think but i can particularly picture her as both really liking hard rock and having a secret soft spot for disco, and no that's not because I'm weak for her giggling hysterically as she sings i wanna dance with somebody, Raphael smiling and kissing her face and doing a weird and terrible dance as they're both lying down

i also keep having the mental image of like. once they calm down and they're just catching their breath, giggles dying down slightly, Raphael just softly going "sólo tenerte cerca, siento que vuelvo a empezar" because that line ALWAYS MAKES ME THINK OF MAIAPHAEL OKAY. AAA FUCK ("just having you near feels like starting over", for non spanish speakers)

also just. Maia getting up in the morning, and she's kinda energetic in the morning, so she just starts blasting punk music as she gets ready for her day, jumping and singing a little bit and basically being adorable. and Raphael is also a morning person but the quiet morning person type, but he doesn't even mind, just settles on watching her bounce and sing and make a mess as she gets ready, smile on his face, absolutely endeared and in love and aaaaa

and im just udbdidndidndidn weak thank you so much for this ask and mental image omg ;-; aaaaaaaaaa

[polyamorous-mysme]

Do you think the 5 main rfa members be in a poly relationship with each other? Or would it work with mc? I've read some soulmate fics and was curious abt your opinion

you know ive done a couple of these in my rfa x rfa tag and i think its a super interesting dynamic to ponder ive only ever really read one mysme soulmate au fic because at the time i was searching for them it was the only one up and only had two chapters and i even wrote the first part of one myself

but the problem i have with rfa x rfa is just trying to write it. because there are so many dynamics in it, especially when you bring in MC, a totally projected character that you either have to make as generic as possible or somewhat self-insert, its really difficult to write in a way thats still engaging and interesting

ive always said i like polyamorous mystic messenger without mc specifically because as MC your interactions with the characters are already scripted, and how you might normally talk to a group of people, even lovingly sarcastic, can get you a bad end. that being said, i do like that writing MC into a fic gives you the option of having an OC without … really having an OC? because mc is already IN the game and already IN the plot, you’re just giving them characteristics that you want in your fic or in your headcanons. often when i write headcanons that involve MC i wish there was more of a template given by the req for how they personally see MC – because its such an inherently diverse character! – but when i write fics its an entirely different story. MC can be your self-insert or MC can be based off an original character you’ve had for years and i love that malleability.

that being said though, given who MC is in the actual game, RFA x RFA is just a little bit more difficult in some ways and easier in others when you include MC. MC is someone that pushes for growth for all the members of the RFA, but it can get to the point where that’s all someone’s take of MC is for. you kind of have to stretch a lot of what the mysme writers give you if you’re writing something with that many relationships if you dont have MC in there with the ability to empathize with everyone and help everyone else understand each other.

zen is very self-absorbed. not in a malicious way, but in a vain, often-doesnt-understand-anyone’s-feelings kind of way. 

jumin is calculated and driven by logic rather than emotions, and when he IS driven by his emotions, he also does it without thinking because letting himself feel things isnt a practiced thing for him

jaehee is obsessed with her work and making everything perfect because that’s where she gets her self-worth. she doesn’t take time for herself and runs herself ragged.

yoosung is the polar opposite of jumin. a lot of what he does, he brings logic to it at the beginning, and then loses that train of thought and does what is going to make him feel better here, now. he’s very involved in self-gratification which leads him to feeling sorry for himself rather than do what he needs to do.

707 is eclectic and uses humor to mask any real information about him. he’s afraid to let people get close to him because he thinks it will hurt them, and any time he tries to talk about himself seriously the reactions he gets pushes him into covering up with a joke.

what mc does is teaches zen to empathize and learn that putting all of yourself out there for everyone else’s consumption isn’t always healthy. mc teaches jaehee to focus on her own needs and to base her self-worth in gratification of the work she does rather than the amount of work she does. mc teaches jumin that emotions are not always irrational or illogical or harmful, and that he needs to feel to be healthy. mc teaches yoosung to set a goal and work towards it and experience the joy of having that goal met rather than seeking for endorphins in a gaming addiction. mc teaches 707 that its okay to need people and to reach out. 

without all of that you have five people with totally different personalities, none of whom entirely understand or particularly like each other, but that doesnt mean they were always like that to one another.

i know this post is all over the place and i apologize for that but when it comes down to it, either way of writing all of the RFA in a relationship works if you have MC with a personality but still with the function of who MC is in the game, OR if you find a way to get the RFA to interact with each other in the way MC teaches them to without needing MC, or if you write them how they were before the whole Rika situation went down.

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Any headcanons about when Una and Trinket are teenagers? 💚💚💚💚💚

More teenage Widomauk babies! 

Trinket has a habit of wearing his daddy’s old clothes, he has a very…eclectic sense of style. He rummages around in Molly’s closet and finds things he hasn’t worn since his twenties, old jumpers with bold geometric patterns and hareem pants with embroidery on them and scarves and all kinds of things. Molly is very proud to see his son experimenting with his style and quite a few things he wears have a lot of memories attached to them. More than once, he’s seen Trinket wearing something and grinned and nudged Caleb, winking and asking him if he remembers the date he last wore that on, years ago. Caleb goes red and begs him not to remind him of that right now, not in front of their baby. 

As soon as Una’s allowed, she gets so many piercings to rival even her daddy. She thinks she looks so tough and cool and her big bat ears offer a lot of real estate for hoops and chains and studs. Initially, Caleb was set against her getting them but then she gave him those big pleading eyes of hers that he can never ever resist. So ‘no way, never’ turns into ‘okay maybe one’ and then ‘alright, four’ and then ‘okay, okay, six but thats definitely it’ 

Mollymauk turns out to be a very very good parent to teenagers, as he’s said before, he’s basically a walking cautionary tale and knows just how to give his kids enough freedom without giving them room to do something dangerous and get themselves into trouble. However, caleb struggles with the idea that his little babies aren’t so little and aren’t really babies any more, it makes him really sad that he can’t pick them up and rock them any more or that they don’t have as much interest in playing games with him or having him read them bedtime stories. He looks to Molly pleadingly a few times but Molly reads his mind and shakes his head firmly. No more babies with their little horn nubs are coming out of him, thanks very much. Fortunately, Caleb has Frumpkin to cuddle and rock. 

Because they don’t really know for sure when Una’s birthday is, given that she was just handed in to the hospital anonymously, she and Trinket share a birthday and their dads throw them a joint party every year. The siblings love that, they’re very proud that they get to share a special day 

[serensama]

Sweet asks

I am doing the ENTIRE list thanks to someone who shall not be named.... @guacameowle .... but that’s okay. Because I love her and she’s fabulous and she asked rather nicely. YOU BETTER DO THE SAME THING WHEN YOU HAVE THE TIME WOMAN. 

vanilla - how has your week been? Rather poopy actually. I’ve been struck down with a crappy ass flu so i’ve spent most of the last five days in bed, feeling super sorry for myself. Or asleep. One or the other. 

chocolate - what do you crave right now? Oh??? Right now? I crave the kingfish entree and meat fruit entree from Heston Blumenthal’s restaurant “Dinner” here in Melbourne. That was the BEST raw kingfish I have ever had in my life, it was like butter in your mouth. The meat fruit was the smoothest pate in existence like- HOLY COW. That... or you know... to be able to taste everything i eat again... *fierce side eye to this damn flu again*

red velvet - what type of music do you like? Oh goodness, I like a lot of different genres. Right now I’m listening to a lot of really emotive songs, yes, the angsty ones, to help me write. But anything that I can generally sing to unknowingly as I work away it good. So that could be songs from Moana, or the Moulin Rouge to Pearl Jam, Disturbed and Linkin Park. I have a very eclectic taste! 

ice cream - if you were an animal, what kind would you be? Either a dog or a dolphin. A dog because they’re loyal and friendly and I want to be able to cuddle my human and make them happy. A dolphin because they’re so damn bright and look so cheerful and have a lovely little family unit wherever they go. And i like the idea of a layer of fat surrounding my body being a super good thing. 

cake - describe your ideal location My ideal location? It would be in curled up on my new sofa with a blanket thrown around me, in my new living room in front of my new 80″ tv playing my favourite games in my newly built house. As boring as that sounds, thats super exciting to me! Adults don’t dream big anymore TT__TT

mocha - what are three things that make you feel warm inside? Friends, Family (including fur family) and Food. Put them all together and I am the happiest April. 

frosting - describe your appearance A short, round woman who looks simultaneously 12 and 40, of indiscriminate asian descent who wears glasses and occasionally some makeup to look decent. 

marshmallow - do you sleep with plushies? if so, which are your favorites? Do two of my dogs and husband count??? THEY SHOULD TOTALLY COUNT.

sorbet - describe an ideal summer day Inside with the AC on. Summer can kiss my ass. . . oh okay... 30 degrees celsius with a breeze.... whilst I'm inside with the AC on. 

butterscotch - describe an ideal autumn day The sun is shining and the wind is just slightly crisp, enough to warrant a scarf and perhaps a beanie. The ground is coloured with beautiful fallen leaves that crunch beneath my feet, the sounds of the children in the nearby school throwing those leaves in a joyous school yard fight. Glorious. 

caramel - describe an ideal winter day Rain. So much rain. The soft rumble of thunder- no loud crashes or sudden booms- just a gentle purr from the sky. It would be cold but not freezing. Cold enough to breathe against the glass of the window and to see it fog up so I could draw hearts upon it. Hot chocolate and soup weather. A good book as I sit next to the heater. Perfect. 

pecan - describe an ideal spring day ANY DAY WHERE IM NOT ATTACKED BY POLLEN IS MY IDEAL SPRING DAY. 

mint - what’s new in your life? These antibiotics are new... Well we just signed our building contracts so it’s all pretty done and sealed now! My poor bank account has lost its beautiful fluffy 5 digit figure before the decimal point TT__TT but thats okay. I’m happy :) 

pie - “home is where…” Pants are optional. 

macaroon - list three things you feel inspired to do 1) Get my figure back. I miss being really healthy.  2) Keep writing. I still have a bit to write for this fandom.  3) Clean. When I get better, there’s a lot of spring cleaning to be done!!! 

[harrv]

today may not be a good time to post this and im sorry for blowing up ur notifs but what the fuck !!!! i hit 1.1k followers !!!! i usually do my follow forever posts at end of the year but i didn’t do this last year bc i was waiting to hit 1k ! now here i am !

i made this blog on april 21, 2014 and had my first post in may 1st of the same year then abandoned this blog and officially came back after a year and now this blog has been running since july 2015 lmao it took me 2 yrs to get 1k rip me

anyways! my experience here on tumblr is Awesome so far! (i am not being sarcastic) (or am i?) and i met great people thru here and have made a lot of amazing friends and lost quite a few, sadly

of course @ everyone thank you thank you thank you thank you all for making my tumblr experience great! i still don’t even understand why y'all still follow my lame ass trash of a blog but i couldn’t ask for more lol i love y'all for still keeping up

NOW all i wanted to do right now at this very fucking moment is to give my mutuals a Huge Shoutout for being so so fucking lovely and so so fucking awesome and so so fucking nice! (even tho i only every occasionally talked to some of you and wish i had the guts to talk to everyone), my sappy ff starts below! :)

special mentions

the pepito elvis gc (i am only mentioning the ones that talk the most) - amy aka the louie who mistaken this harrie gc for a larrie gc (@given-a-chance), cat (@smolbirds), brenda aka my mom (@sweetcreature-lou), amber aka pure (@skamb3r) , antwahnise (@gilmoregirlsau), and fucking ciarra aka #1 harry hater who also sings like an angel (@larriez)

what the flipping fuck guys i love every single one of you??? thank fuck im in the same gc as y'all and thanks for indulging the shit outta me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even this gc is still a Baby (its only three weeks old) i had so many fun memories with y’all :’) and i think its really cute waking up with like 79 messages <3</p>

henri (@onlyangele) - love even tho we had only talked thru replies u made me laugh so much binch wish we could talk more

vika (@louisosoft) - the sweetest darling!!! every time i see u on my notifs i fucking smile bc i just love ur blog ok??? and i love ur cat even tho i kinda despise cats (dont block me im a dog person)

libby (@angelpolvo) -  girl………………… ur the Gayest and also the Nicest and i just love the shit out of you??? i love that we screamed over josephine vander bc thats what gays do right ??? and bitch??? is she urs already???? I AM DYING TO KNOW PLS UPDATE ME

rachel (@sugarbabykink) - rachel, u cute ok?? ur very fucking cute and i love seeing you on my dash, tw*tter tl, and ig :’) and **** ** ******** forever

liz (@angelharry) - remember when u wanna change your url but you’re scared and i was the one who encouraged you to change it and supported u thru it wow Great Times lol and i love your shitposts???? you’re one of the funniest people i met in my life ??  wow ?????????????

……and of fucking course, the snapchat king, the louis to my harry, the harry to my louis, my moon and stars, the bitch who still puts up with my stupid gay ass and im wondering why he still does that wtf……………………………..

agatha (@lourrious) - bih. what the fuck ??? i would d*e for you???? i never thought we’d be friends until Now??????? such Soulmates we are, aren’t we? the universe really found a way for us to meet again ? wow ? and thank fuck i knew you !!!! thank you for always making my day and making me laugh with ur snaps and making me smile whenever im sad. you are always there to comfort me, and i never met someone like that til you. bih, i would sell my liver just to meet you in person. im getting all sappy bc of u bitch and i love getting sappy. i treasure you very close to my heart. heck i treasure you in my heart. you’re always in my heart bih :3) :3) :3) :3) :3) :3) :3) :3) :3)

that’s it whew okay lets start

(bolded are…well..u know the drill)

# to b

@1-800-garbage @1989rosesxx @19yrs @1dconcertblog @3chic @8walls @acejade @aimhpal @alestiaa @alwaysinmyheartweet @amaerie @anathemaer @anchorliam @andd-all-his-little-things @ange1s @angelbud @angelharry @angelhoney @angeliety @angeltaurus @asterfairy @aurae @avenroger @babeharrie @beauthxrry @beingsoft @bengaligf @beysharrys @bloglaurel711 @blushbae @boringangel @buerella @butimthechosen1 

c to e

@candybisous @catharticphan @cherrielouie @chilllarries @coffeegirlfriend @compasstatt @complementarytatts @constellarry @curlycuelou @dancerharry @dareharry @degenerateharry @doriangrayss @dvinefeminine @eclecticitys @ecliptique @edolouis @elebeard @engjelll @estrelune @etherealnyc @everrsincenewyork @eversincesnlharry @exposealienharry

f to g

@fairydustlou @favoriteirishmember @feminist-tomlinson @fendiontop @filthyt0kyo @fireprocf @flowoury @flufy-louis @fondsmol @fooledangel @foolsgoldkink @forharrys @frickydazzle @fuckboivibes @fuckingastrology @gaysfic @gayymothman @geantle @geminivenus  @gigglelou @gilmoregirlsau @girlov @given-a-chance @glitterrthug @gloomycancer @glowingangel @glowystyle @godgavemelou @goldenharrie @goldvnbby @grapefruitseltzer @grinching @growgardens 

h to k

@h-isforhome @happileeds @happlouis @haroldtwerkin @harrsys @harryandlana @harryfromplanetstyles @harryftariana @harryhugs @harrylouie @harryrs @harrys @harrysgayalbum @harrystyles-mybabyboy @harrystylesisaprettyprincess @harrystylesthealbum @harryz @hazzastop @heckheckk @hershelstyles @hesnlt @highlightharry @holyfucklarrry @homeisharry @homelyrics @homemp3 @horchati @howgreenmetblue @hufflepufsh @hzzs @imafoolforlou @iridescentblooms @itrose @itslovestylinson @jeffsazoff @jennydixon @kalelube @kathrynactually @kingsofpeace @kissharryufool @kitkatp @kiwilivemp3 @knjpeg

l to m

@languidheart @larriekisses @larriez @larrsygettinglarried @larrydagger @latte-louis @laurnts @lhrryonce @liames @lilcurlies @liltinylouis @louiesdarlings @louis2k15 @louisbuttcheek @louisisloved @louislikesboys @louislittletummy @louisosoft @louiswantstomarryharry @lourrious @lovehoperomance @loves2much @loveutae @lthica @lunarosa @magicalhalo @memeharry @menudo @mexicanasapphic @minirose @mitamdemo @mitamhalo @moonblessd @moonsunhl @mounshine @mutualfond

n to r

@notsebastan @oceanoflouis @ofsighs @olivemel @onlyangele @onlyangelharold @oopstatt @organicysl @packersbeanie @pearlgorl @petalful @peterpansexuallarrie @pinkflowerlarrie @pinkflowersharry @pinkhalo @poppunknouis @poptropicaofficial @purerosewaters @rainbowlads @realfalsiane @realytired @redsatin @redyke @rlphlaurn @rose-forces @rosegoldeyelids @rosehoneywater @roseofhalfeti @rosedgirls @roseputa @roseylouie @rosyharry 

s

@satinmilk @scaryharrybooeylouis @sccorpio @secret-lil-rendez-vous @sherrybomb @shimmersapphic @skamb3r @smolbeanlt @smolbirds @sofharry @some-guys-like-guys @spaannk @spceboystyles @sspookyjimchristmas @strawberrylipg1oss @strawberrypiebaby @styles2017 @stylesandtrash @stylespaceboy @stylespug @stylinsoney @stylishirish @sugarbabykink @sweetcreature-lou @syzygay 

t to z

@t-h-e-q-u-i-e-t @thegayankle @thegaynkle @thekhilla @thelovesclubs @thereylouis @thestyles @tigertat @tomlinfeeling @tomlinfinitys @tomlinsonaoki @toxicsxciety @trianglelouie @tzujs @unf @vanillagloss @vagueangel @vainbitch @vibrantess @victoryjacket @viplourry @virgomtv @warmfringe @waturs @westindia @wildepixie @wwwlouis @xlytherin @yowapeda @yslfond @yvesdidas @yvhes @zarnes @zourrygf

i thought i’d like to add my fave non mutuals bc i usually unfollow non mutuals but here are the ones that made it so hard for me to click on their unfollow button:

@organicstunts @kindofsharethat @dunkirks @domestic-harry @softhie @thedebutsingle @worththewhiletweet @youfuckingloosah @softestswan @birdonahotdog 

YA THAT’S IT FOR NOW BYE

[sayitaintdoe]

it is the day before d-day, and theodora graham has made her descent into san francisco, and i have to remind myself when the notification goes off on my phone, like, six times that teddy is married now and doesn’t need me showing up at the airport with bells on to pick her up from her last great adventure.

which is probably for the best, considering i’m already running late for work as it is.  but that is really just a technical detail more than it is anything else.  late, schmate, am i right?

okay, not right, because my friend syd will murder me if i don’t start actually, like, showing up on time (or at all, really, but i do at least tend to usually have the decency to show up if nothing else).

my car, an old and sputtering and wheezing volkswagen beetle far past her prime (talulah, if you must know), creeks up into my designated parking spot, but she doesn’t make a cute little BEEP! when i lock her so much as she makes a sad, miserable boop.  a “please put me out of my misery and put some of your grubhub money toward a new car, dumbass.”

i ignore this, hiking my bag up my shoulder and heading through the front doors of grove & joy, the eclectic little hipster paradise of a salon and pop-up shop my friends syd and joy own.

see, this is my thing.  everyone i consider a friend is between the ages of 23 and 30, and i just want to know, why it is that i am the only one who doesn’t have a single goddamn clue what i’m going to do with my life.  like, we’re talking nothing.  nada.  i am wandering around perfectly content to run the fucking register at this joint so long as my friends are around.  and everyone else is off getting married and (god forbid) getting pregnant and having, like, grown up jobs.

and then there’s me.   square peg, round hole, trying not to be one of those millennials that every dumbass article complains about but then wondering what is so wrong with liking avocados in the first place, bob from kansas city?

i’m losing track of my point.

and whatever point i’m trying to make (is there one?) is soon enough derailed by a flurry of rainbow sherbet arms and tiny, slim arms wrapping tight around me.  “you’re on time!” every time joy announces something, she announces it with a giggle.

“even a broken clock is right twice a day,” i reply, getting in my daily dad joke for the hour (okay, the half hour), and dropping my bag to the floor behind the front counter.  “what’d i miss?”

her hand rests at her hip, head tilted to the side before her face lights up, a second later.  and from there, she’s nearly pouncing, soaring toward me with her hands quickly finding my shoulders and gripping tight.  “you have a date and you didn’t tell me!”

“oh, do i?”  i pretend to be focusing on my nails, before flashing her a cheeky grin.  “there might be a date happening, yes.”

“with PRESTON?!”

“how much are you bribing him, exactly?”  a second voice, definitely belonging to sydney, pipes up from the back.  i turn my head and can see just enough of the peaks of their newly frosted silver hair poking over the half-wall staring back at me like an early 2000s disney channel character.

i clear my throat, swooping around the corner to approach them, hands propped on my hips.  “for the record, he asked me out.”

well.  now he did.  maybe they won’t mention it to him!

sydney raises their eyebrows back at me, clearly surprised by this.  i just nod eagerly back at them.  “uh huh, yeah.  thats what i thought.  how’s that for bribery?”

“i think it was only a matter of time,” joy chimes out in her singsong voice, pressing a kiss to my cheek and then pressing one to sydney’s.  “i mean, the two of them have been married since middle school.”  pause for laughter.  “remember that time we had to do that flour sack project and—”

for some reason, i feel my cheeks flush, and i quickly swat my hand at the air like that’s going to stop the memory from rolling up, or at the very least, stop the conversation from progressing.

luckily — luckily!  call me zack morris because i am saved by the bell, literally — the door chimes open again, to save me from this conversation, save me from them, stop any of this from going any further, and i turn around for the distraction with my well-trained customer service smile.

but it’s not a customer.  it’s her.

all five-foot-eleven of her, standing tall and willowy.  teddy.

“YOU’RE ACTUALLY HERE IN THE SAME PLACE AS ME IN THE SAME TIME ZONE AS ME CRAZY RICH ASIANS THE REALITY SHOW IS OVER ARE YOU SERIOUS?” i spew out all my words as one long string, throwing myself across the salon and right at her, tackling her into a hug as a client comes in behind her and kennedy sweeps into professional mode, but not before giving her a squeeze on the shoulder.

“i called preston when i landed to make sure where you’d be, i wanted to surprise you!” she hums back in my ear, and married teddy feels the same as single teddy and engaged teddy and broken hearted teddy.  still firm and strong.  just, like, now with this weird big rock on her finger.  sparkling back at me, begging me to look at it.  so, i don’t.  because fuck you, wedding ring.

 “speaking of surprising you…” joy hummed in that teasing, singing voice of hers, looking between teddy and myself and going so far as to wink.  WINK!

teddy blinks back at her, and then she’s looking back at me.  “speaking of?  what did i miss?  and if you hold out on me, i will physically kick your butt, and you know that i can and will win.”

i clear my throat.  “well, first of all.  your goldfish is definitely not dead.”

“so, you just... put a doppelgänger fish in the tank.”

let’s skip ahead.

teddy leans back, taking a sip from her iced coffee and looking at me like it’s the first time she’s ever seen me.  the good news is that she’s somehow thankfully managed to calm down after learning about goldie the first’s most untimely demise.  the bad news is that she’s definitely not going to let go of the fact that i let it slip that in order to speed up the grieving process, preston healed my wounds and drowned my sorrows by asking me on a date.

so, okay, yeah, i just keep adding onto the story - but that’s what makes it so interesting.  it’s the layers that make a cake good, not the flour.

“do you know where he’s taking you?”

is it weird that i haven’t thought about it?  like, any of it?  but where is he taking me?  why does he have to decide where we go?  it’s 2018 and i have good taste and this was all my idea anyway, so shouldn’t i get to have a say in where we go?

will it be different than every other time we’ve gotten dinner together?  we’ve done some very... how you say, couple-like things when we’ve grabbed dinner together before, but is this different?

holy shit.

am i going on a date?  with preston?

“doe?  you okay?  you look pale.”

i am brought back to grove & joy, back to teddy watching me cautiously and a stream of customers filtering in around us.  

“somewhere with a violinist,” i blurt out, recalling something i remember preston telling me the other morning when i was slipping out from under his covers.  “and no peanuts.  otherwise brady can’t have any leftovers.”

a date with preston.

a date with preston.

going out with preston in a date-like environment where we’re supposed to pretend to be a couple and it’s weird because we don’t do that and what the fuck was i thinking and why did i suggest it you IDIOT

it’s late now.  not so late that kat will pull dramatics if i stumble into the apartment in the dark, but late enough that i know preston’s not doing anything else (he couldn’t possibly), and somehow that’s all i need to know.

despite everything, despite feeling some weird twist in my gut telling me this is most likely all going to blow up in my face (it’s bound to), i still find myself reaching for my phone as i skip the usual route to my apartment in favor of the turn for his, pulling up in front of his building and slipping in without a word.

i know brady and stevie enough to know better than to disturb them, so i go for my spare key that isn’t so much a spare key as it is i stole preston’s and had my own copy made, and i let myself in.

every closed door has a glow coming through the cracks, and i can hear the obnoxious late eighties hip hop wafting out of preston’s room when i twist open the door.

my jacket’s off before the door is shut behind me, followed by my shoes, and then my top.  my fingers are working to my jeans and then suddenly his hands are there, replacing mine, charting out territory he’s mapped many tones before, and his lips are meeting mine, and he’s dragging me in and i’m letting him.

“hello, lover boy,” i tease against his mouth, hearing his half-laugh, half-whine of a “don’t ruin this” that’s returned to me.

and it’s funny, this thing about us.

one of us is always waiting for the other, always expecting the other to show up.  it’s always an extended invitation, an exclusive welcome mat.

and most of the time, we accept it.

this is what i want to focus on: his lips on mine and my hands quickly working off his shirt and his stupid spongebob squarepants boxers, us tripping over each other on the way back to his bed, but him catching me before my head hits the mattress without him like some freaking john mayer song.  because we’re best friends, and that’s what it means to be best friends.  you catch each other, right?

this is the here and the now.  and this is way less stressful than the storm building up in my head for no goddamn reason.

so i let it take me.