#but thats ok it came out decent anyway!!

[alazic02]

It's been a long time coming but here is the full piece I made for the @alwaysandforeverzine Miraculous Ladybug LoveSquare wedding zine! It was designed like an actual magazine and featured both Adrinette and LadyNoir centered wedding pieces :) I spent quite a bit of time drawing the detailing on Ladybug's dress and I'm happy with how it turned out!

Artwork ©: alazic02 | buy me a ko-fi

Do not repost.

[waywardsalt]

sitting huddled in my little writers hut trying to piece together what kinds of effects i want bellum’s possession to have on linebeck

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

ok so I know this is a petty hill to die on, but I know you're 1- a really huge blog that lots of people see, and 2- a decent person, so I’m hoping you can hear that I’m not trying to be antagonistic or anything.

anyway- you tagged that wicked post with "I feel like they've trauma bonded" or something similar, which is really funny, but one thing- that's not what a trauma bond is, and as a victim of actual trauma bonding, I’m on something of a mission to correct the way ppl have been misusing the term.

to quote psychology today, "A trauma bond is an emotional attachment that can form in an abusive relationship, specifically the connection the victim feels toward the perpetrator. A trauma bond is characterized by cycles of negative reinforcement interspersed with occasional bursts of positive reinforcement; this so-called intermittent reinforcement makes it very difficult to leave an abusive relationship."

anyway, I don't mean to be rude or presumptuous or anything, I’m just trying to get the word out lol

i dont think thats rude or petty at all! you're being the opposite of antagonistic rn i wouldn't blame you if you came up a bit aggressively even, its a reasonable thing to be turned a bit sideways about.

ive always understood a trauma bond to be a bond two people forge due to a shared trauma, like two unhealthily close siblings surviving together under a shared abusive parent. but now that i know its actually more like self justification the abused child utilizes to keep their abuser parent as a loving caretaker in their mind to protect their own sanity, i know not to describe it like that first way anymore.

thanks for giving me the opportunity to learn more about it so i dont make any further mistakes and can do my part to help others understand too <3

[filmbyjy]

hiii

you may not recognize me and thats because im (kinda) new hehe.. anyway, i've been kinda stalking you- but that's besides the point. i loveee your workss!! keep up the good work <3 idk if asks are open, but if they are, could you write a fluffy fem!reader x bf!niki where the reader comes home from a long day, and niki comforts her?? and if you cant, its totally ok <3

have a nice day!

a/n: this has been in the drafts for a year now💀 so sorry, I am trying to clear the drafts but my schedule is shit and we all know I suck at keeping up with my schedule😍

WELCOME HOME

it was past 8pm when you had treaded through the front door of your apartment. your body sore from leaning over the tables and wiping it. normally, the cafe you work at was peaceful and was decently packed but after a viral video that practically wowed the internet.

there had been more and more people stopping by everyday. the cafe was decently sized but it was short staffed so sometimes you had to man the cashier, do the dishes, clean the tables and make the drinks. for normal days (before the surge of people), there was about 2 people working per shift, not including the 2 bakers in the kitchen as they were the behind the scenes staff that were required to be there.

with not that many staff per shift, it was hard for you and whoever was working that day to manage the cafe. that also meant more demands from the customers who think they are entitled to make a mess of the space as 'customers are always right'. curse, whoever made that quote.

you were mentally and physically drained. you just needed a good long rest for the rest of the week. however, you couldn't do that. not when your off-days were already used up for visiting your family back in your hometown. if only you could just...take a breather.

"welcome home, baby!" ni-ki slides into the hallway just as you walked towards the living room. you gave him a tired smile.

"hi riki, why aren't you at the dorm?" ni-ki gives you a playful pout.

"already kicking me out? baby, you wound me. i came to see you and you're already pushing me away." he says as he throws his (long) arms around you. "you weren't answering my calls so i assumed it was a long day at work and you didn't charge your phone."

you took out your phone and tried to turn it on but it was indeed dead. "sorry, today was a hectic day. couldn't even get a proper lunch break. there was so many people coming over for the past week."

"yeah, i heard about it. jake hyung talked about wanting to come over and buy some desserts. they did look good but since you know us being celebrities...we could get mobbed."

you hummed, "that's fair. it's a good thing you didn't go. seriously, have never seen such a long queue outside of the cafe in my whole years of working there."

"there was a queue?" he says as he pulls back from the hug.

"yeah, i felt like i was working at some fancy restaurant. oh god, speaking of there are so many karens trying to scam me and gaslight me into thinking i did something wrong when i did nothing wrong." you groaned and buried your head against ni-ki's chest.

he pats your head. "were you the shift manager?"

"usually i am whenever i am working that day."

"mmm, then you could've kicked them out and taught them a lesson."

"trust me, i wanted to but i can't i'll lose my job so i just sucked it up and patiently worked with them and even gave them a free bagel."

"not the free bagels, baby. they'll just come back again for more." ni-ki huffs.

"i know but what am i supposed to do." you sniffled as the tears that unknowingly appeared falls. you were just mad and exhausted. ni-ki obviously heard it so he pulls you back and cups your face.

"hey hey, don't cry. everything will be fine. why don't i run you a bath and then order some of your favourite food, okay?" he wipes the tears that were falling down.

"will cuddles be included?"

"of course. cuddles will be included. now, just lay in bed and i'll get the bath running." he pecks your forehead and goes to move to bedroom. however, you grabbed his wrist.

"carry me to my bedroom?" you pout. ni-ki smiles and scoops you up in his arms. he princess carries you over to your bed and places you gently onto the mattress before going over to the bathroom and getting ready the bathtub.

you had shut your eyes for a bit since you were tired but the exhaustion took a toll on you and you fell asleep for a little. ni-ki shakes you a little. "baby? the bath is ready. go enjoy it, i already placed an order so the food should be on the way soon."

you hummed and went over to the bathroom to remove your clothing and step into the bathtub. you laid your back against the edge of the tub and shut your eyes again. the candle light making everything moody and warm. you were enjoying the comfortable warmth and silence, much better than the bustling sounds at the cafe. this felt nice.

you had spent in the bathroom for about 20 minutes or so before deciding to get out of the tub. you didn't want to your fingers or toes to look like dried prunes so you decided to just get out of the water. you had grabbed the towel and dried yourself off. you could hear a knock at the door.

"baby, i have pyjamas with me. i forgot to leave them inside the bathroom." you opened the door to ni-ki. he had one hand out to hold the pyjama set and the other hand covering his eyes. a very gentleman thing of him to always do if you came out of the shower in just your towel.

you had noticed he too was wearing a pyjama set and it was similar to yours. of course, he loved matching things with you. you grabbed the pyjamas. "mmm, i think you forgot to grab my undergarments."

his ears quickly turned red in embarrassment. "ah, i knew i forget something. i-i'll just leave the room so you could change." and so ni-ki bolts out of the room and shuts the door. you shook your head, laughing a little since he was so adorable.

you changed into the pyjamas after putting on your undergarments and then went out to the living room. there ni-ki was, turning on the tv and searching up your favourite anime to watch together and setting up the food onto the coffee table. you had come up behind him and back hugged him.

"i have the best boyfriend in the world." you say. ni-ki smiles.

"well, let's not forget your boyfriend is one of a kind. where can you get another nishimura riki, member of boy band enhypen, in the world." he boasts. you playfully rolled your eyes and released him.

"that's very humble of you, riki." you playfully say.

"oh, i know. i'm just that hot." ni-ki smirks. you laughed.

"yeah, you are. now, will my hunk of a boyfriend please just cuddle and eat with me?"

"of course, i'll eat with my beautiful and amazing girlfriend any time." he steals a small peck to your lips and settles down on the couch. you gave him a playful gaze and settled right next to him.

after some time, you found yourself tangled with ni-ki. your legs and his long ones were somehow crossed in between in each other as you cuddled like cats laying together.

"oh, it's over?" you say.

"no, it can't be." ni-ki gasps.

a flash to the tv showed 'season 2 coming soon'. it made both you and ni-ki groan. "that's lame. we have to wait for the next season? that's going to take 1-2 years." ni-ki whines.

"they're going to pull another 'Spy Family' thing where there isn't going to have episodes in the next season, i can feel it." you complained.

"boooo. let's watch something else." ni-ki grumbles.

"yeah, let's watch-"

"let's watch, you. you're really pretty." ni-ki says as he stares down at you. ah, this playful and teasing ni-ki is appearing now.

"that wasn't that smooth, riki."

"well, to me it was. besides, this is a signal for you to reward me and i don't know give me a kiss or at least a peck? i am an amazing boyfriend, right?"

you snort, "yes, riki. you are but you're not getting that peck."

"what? why." he pouts.

"because..." you got closer to him and watches you with adorable doe eyes. before you unexpectedly peck him and ran away. ni-ki sits there confused, trying to analyse the situation properly. until he finally digested it.

"hey! get back here!" he yells as he tries to chase after you.

you could've not felt any better.

and being with ni-ki helped it.

[danepopfrippery]

Ive had a chance to chill and think and id like to add forget nandermo right. Ok the last season fucked EVERYONE over.

Tbh they couldve had Colin take a dump onscreen and itd have been less a fuck u to fans.

From least offensive to worst:

Only one who came out close to decent was Colin. But they left so many stupid threads. He beat the piss out of guillermo once just cuz i guess? He still doesnt remember Laszlo being his dad, and the one friend he thought he had resents him cuz his wife wants him.

Laszlo would be second least bad. He did have a really great emotional ep with his dad issues, and he and Colin working together was sweet. But Laszlo treated monster bad after being a good dad to colin. The end. The only two consistencies is he loves his wife and he can be a right idiot when feuding.

But im pretending rosemarys baby was the real end so he and Nadja both got pregnant and had their sons. Love it.

Id place Nandor here but the Guide thing was such fucking left field and they stuck with it til the end. Otherwise him enjoying pointless work and being hurt and running away is on track.

Then Guillermo. What a wasted god damned season. Is Jordan a vampire? Who knows. What did Miguel have to say on the ride home? Who knows. Literally nothing learned or gained here.

Sean got a really weird half storyline. I believe hes that big of a drunken lout. No gains here either.

Nadja had another season of being loud and obnoxious. Playing human was fun (incl ruining the banana phone joke) but the fails were cringey. Nadja is smart and capable, they havent given her much since the nightclub. The end. Also for no reason she has a lot of buckets and pillows (but again i did like the Rosemarys baby ending).

Then the Guide….no one got fucked over harder then the Guide.

She hasnt had a purpose since the Vampiric Council in 3. They made her full time and promptly Meg’d her character (meg from family guy who is treated like shit). Ok nightclub stuff was tolerable, esp being acab.

Then she becomes a nag trying to trick Nadja and make them let her in. Shes whiny and pathetic. Instead of talking to her one friend Guillermo she sets a trap.

By open of 6 shes barely found. Until Nandor decides right here and now he wants her bad. She wisely refuses and we never get an answer why the sleep hypnosis brought that idea on. She works for Jerry off screen and leaves the credits.

Shes fine in the revenge ep and fun when she tells Nandor to fuck off. Suddenly she doesnt even count as Guillermo’s friend (office party) and the last we see of her shes whiny and suddenly magafv. Thats basically the last line i think?! For her anyway.

[stealingpotatoes]

Invitation to talk about Sayuri and Nymie?

:D CAN OF WORMS: OPENED!! i'll tell u abt how they got found as Jedi

ok so Sayuri is one of the students that doesn't rlly go home bc there isn't much to go back to. Basically her parents were Rebellion pilots (or one was a pilot the other a mechanic. kinda unsure) but were both killed in action against the Empire abt 3-4ABY ish. obvs the Rebellion couldn't look after a 7-8yo while fighting the Empire

so the remainder of the squad manage to get her back to her parents' home village/ where she was born. so having like Everything change all at once leaves her pretty ?? and gives her some serious trusting-her-environment issues. her coolgirl "i dont care" persona is very much a result of this bc she's worried abt getting too comfy in smthn. (which is at odds w the OTHER issue she got from this event which is "deathly afraid of flying" an issue not helped if Master "traffic laws are just guidelines" Skywalker is piloting. but she tries 2 act like shes fine)

this is gonna get kinda long so im gonna smack some unposted art here and then go into a readmore

anyway fast forwarding to when Sayuri's abt 13 (roughly 9aby) she's visiting her parent's old squadron on a New Republic bc they'd all come visit whenever she could and after the Empire's fall they did a lot more pick her up and fly her to a base to ALL see her. and they're like omg Sayuri you came at the PERFECT time bc this rlly amazing pilot war hero who's also some like. mystical whatever is here!! he's on his way to some magic place we heard. maybe u can meet him!! which sayuri meets w her usual whatever bc she's not that gassed abt war heroes.

very worth noting that the squad's probably all seen her move shit with her mind, but theyre like oh you know how it is with teenage girls. the "nobody knows what a jedi is" + "the empire existed for a decent bit of her childhood" thing has kept anyone from being like yeahh sayuri should like. talk to someone abt this.

anyway she goes along when the squad are like c'mon let's see if we can see him. ok the only way i can describe this is you know the spiderverse like... spidey-sense recognition thing? that's basically what happens LOL Luke and Sayuri both have a FORCE USER RECOGNISED?? moment and Luke then makes a beeline for her then realises oh shit tiny teenager not jedi. would you LIKE to be a jedi?? and sayuri who hates her village and is feeling the strongest emotional connection she's felt in forever w this stranger she met 2 seconds ago is like okay fuckin sure yeah. and woo jedi!!

i posted my unposted nymie art yesterday but likkeeee pretend theres some here <3

So Sayuri falls into the "one of the Jedi found them thru the force or by chance" category of students who get found. However Nymie very much falls into the second category, which is "CAN SOMEONE DEAL WITH THIS WEIRD SUPERPOWERED CHILD FOR US????"

So 2 things about Nymie: 1. like i've said before, she's from a very rich high class pantoran family. super stuck up, mostly raised by nannies & tutors, but somehow Nymie just didn't get the stuck-up genes like all her (4!!) siblings who are just obsessed w their social standing etc and is instead just :D all the time. 2. her proficiency ig is the living force esp in the 'good at connecting to animals' way (which I think means I legally need to draw her w Ezra).

so the former often led her to escaping her family's stuffy parties and galas or whatever (usually to whoever's house it is' garden or somewhere she wasnt meant to be) to find something interesting. usually a pet <3 one particular time when she was 9 she was following her Pet Sense but couldnt find anything in the house. so she kinda just reached out more and long story short thats how Nymie managed to call this hugemassive beast (i'd tell u what it was if i knew pantoran animals LOL) out of the nearby countryside to her. massively distressing for everyone, all these rich ppl were like "OH MY GOD I NEARLY DIED" (it didnt attack anyone). very funny exciting time for Nymie who was enjoying this new beastie friend til animal control showed up. saddening. everyone is confused bc HOW did that happen

a dude old (and cool) enough to have seen more than one jedi in their heyday (+ idk uni researcher knows his shit) noticed what happened w it going straight to Nymie and overheard her account and realised what happened and was like hi nymie's parents. i think u need to get into contact w the new republic bc thats a jedi right there (which they take and go oo social climbing. we have a jedi child people will think we're cooler. bc theyre assholes)

and yeah im losing steam now but luke shows up and she joins the academyyay!

[cat-mermaid]

so no one wanted a Clone High revival more than me, since it came out in the early 2000s I have pined for more

then we got it

I forced myself to watch up untill that ep where JFK and Joan break up and fight over custody of a turtle or somthin, got really drunk before the end, then the next day realized I needed to rewatch it

I dragged my fucking feet about it, realized that I'd been forcing myself to watch the new episodes every week because its CLONE HIGH, the thing I wanted for ever and ever.....

....but I was miserable watching this new stuff. It was no longer about mocking teen drama, it was teen drama and also not funny at all

I just couldn't stand those 3 new brightly colored characters that didn't act like the historical figures that they were based off of-

-and don't get me STARTED on about the fact that all 3 of them ALREADY HAD CANNON CLONES in the original:

ok see all these bright obnoxious designs? Look what this person did to fix them:

WOW just put the unibrow back on Frida and these are halfway decent!

Anyways, the other thing about these 3 that rubbed me the wrong way was the desperate try hard-ness of the writers to make us love them like fans loved the original cast

nope, sorry, you made them all too middle of the road SAFE and that equals BORING

oh yeah and remember that fucking episode where they mock fans for having nostalgia for the original series? always a text book poor decision, especially considering this was a revival and OG fans are your bread and butter

so i just stopped watching. I felt bad but I couldn't make myself watch a show i dreaded sitting through every week

today I randomly clicked on a youtube vid about "what went wrong" with the new series, only to find out there was already a season two that aired aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand clone high is canceled

wow

WOW

not only did everyone just stop talking about the new seasons once they aired but it made so little impact that I had to find out there was a season two/shits canceled from a random ass vid that showed up on my recommended feed

they didn't even bring Gandhi back for season two :(

I think I heard wat went wrong is that the original creators got the show greenlit in 2017 0r somthing but then another movie they wrote, SPIDERVERSE, fucking exploded at the same time and suddenly they had to hand off writing the show to some other people

thats why the show sucks. Its a shame because I know of a lot of the artists who worked on the new show, they were awesome and its not their fault that anything went wrong.

watta shame

[fagcrisis]

poppy war thoughts, aka this book was so bad it made me want to get a goodreads account just so i can shit on it in an official capacity

so what initially sold me on this book, is that despite my friend ellis absolutely hating rf kuang's babel, ive only ever seen raving reviews for it anywhere else, and a brief description of its magic system reminded me of gergő és az álomfogók. i love that mainstream fantasy is finally starting to rely on drawing from cultures other than the sort of western mainstream and i was actually super excited to get into it. well it sucked (this contains spoilers obviously)

its 11 am this is not gonna be very structured but let me start off by listing some things i did enjoy. first of all its low hanging fruit and im better than this so im only gonna shit on tpw for being so directly about the sino chinese war that the only actual interesting bits of exposition in the book was what was just a description of actual events a Little bit. listen lotr is about ww2. its fine its all fine. anyway, i had fun with the bits of worldbuilding that were yk, actually worldbuilding. the magic system was really interesting and just super not explored enough, the book handled drug addiction about as sensitively as the dare program, but nevertheless it was a cool concept. shamans who have to get high as hell do do anything and then putting those guys in a combat setting is crazy. really fun concept. speaking of shamans i loved jiang. his archetype is impossible to fuck up and he was loveable and fun till the very end. uhh what else. the fight descriptions were good its something kuangs is decent at, as someone whos watched just truly an inordinate amount of wuxia as a child i rly can appreciate a stupid convoluted fight scene. oh i found it hysterical that the west was just one country that was really fun.

NOW ONTO THE SHIT I HATED

rin is incredibly unlikeable i know its not the point of every book ok but tpw isnt good enough to have a protagonist who is just impossible to relate to this isnt 1984 okay this is contemporary ya. i GET that she sucks and thats the point but im supposed to emphatize with her and throughout the book she just seemed stupid and easy to manipulate and not very interesting. shes an incredibly shallow character which is i guess what happens when you base your ya teenage girl protagonist on CHAIRMAN OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY MAO ZEDONG. HELLO. anyway. all her personal relationships are very much carried by the strenght of the characters close to her, and because most characters in this book are not very interesting that makes for a shitty fucking protagonist.

most of the conflict in this book is extremely artificially generated until maybe the second half of part 3. everyone in rins life is unnessecarily mean to her because shes just so smart and good at things. the part where they accused her of cheating on the exams and she owned them like crazy came to define much of the book. some kind of mean cunt whose purpose in life is to cause misery is an asshole to rin bc shes so smart and strong and talented, and she owns them with a witty remark. she punches nezha on the first day of school for fucks sake.

speaking of the school, the majority of the book is spent at sinegard academy and it is an extremely predictable and dull affair. i long for the wizard of earthsea. kuang is not a very good writer on a technical level and everything that she tries to imply she ends up spelling out (usually by having a character say it out loud) only a couple pages later. you can get through 2/3rds of this book by just reading every other page and correctly guessing what has happened and what will happen. in possibly the funniest paragraph of part 2, rin thinks about how everybody thinks altan is the coolest guy and yet he has no friends and at this point shes been experiencing quite severe racism from all of her peers and then instead of leaving you to figure out the quite obvious conclusion kuang literally has her say "oh his skin is dark and mine is too. i wonder if he knows what racism is like" just, truly hysterical.

her feud with nezha is unbearable, i knew immediately that he would become a romantic interest because a ya protagonist cannot hate a boy for perfectly good reasons. it always has to be bc shes horny. anyways thankfully when she starts studying with jiang, jiang is there and the terrible dullness of it all is lifted somewhat

as i mentioned before, the actual historical elements in the book elevate it greatly and the third part is almost enjoyable in some sections. however, unfortunately, this is also the part of the book where rin and altans darkling situation begins. i have a sinking feeling altan may not have died, which sucks because i hated this bit. they have virtually no relationship to eachother except altan yelling at rin occasionally. now again there were bits and pieces of their relationship that i didnt quite hate, but honestly i still dont entirely buy the rin is a seerly thing emotionally because she is so detached from it. the revelation only seemed to shock her a little bit and then she was busy with being at war and her boss hating her, when she actually gains the power of the phoenix at the very end its her own hatred and egoism fueling her rather than any connection to her people. overall this again comes back to her being quite weak as a character, and the worldbuilding suffers as a result of that

in any case, ill mull over continuing the series. the ending was actually quite strong i love a genocide as a result of being a stupid fucking 19 year old (dont quote me on this please), so maybe the next one is better maybe ms kuang learned to write inbetween these 2.

[figula]

i actually had a really pleasant day today :)

ben was out most of the day but he got me for cuddles in the morning so a nice start

then when i got up i decided on a whim to walk into town (its nice to feel cautiously able to do this again rather than having to consider whether or not my hip will make it there)

spent a lot of money bc ive been having a shit time lately and sometimes thats what is fuckin needed

atm there's this thing in worcester where there's loads of painted penguins that you have to find + there's an app you can tick them off on - this is crack to my kind (completionists) - so i spent a decent amount of time wandering around ticking off penguins on the map, and still only did about 1/3 of them. i will probably go back in the week

played the sims, played the strangerville infection storyline which ive never palyed before despite being a sims player for years. that was really fun

ben came home + we watched some of interview w/ the vampire. me and ana have been talking about this non-stop the past few days bc i finally caught up on s2 and it (as i said on here too) it is fucking incredible tv. ben had refused to watch it on the grounds that everyone on tumblr is really annoying about it (fair) but i was like what if you watched it with your wife though. (he loves watching tv with his wife, it's a rarer thing than you might imagine bc i get bored easily sitting still on the sofa) and he was like ok :) anyway he really liked it and it was 1am before he was like "ok we better stop there" and we will probably watch more tmr lol

got another chess job ofc

had a lovely end-of-day cuddle w/ ben as well. genuinely lovely bookending cuddles

not really specific to today but im pleased that last week's madness episode wasnt so long and protracted as it has been prev (i know i talk about the no food for a week episode a lot but it was actually only 2? yrs ago and it was literally nothing like that at all this time)

i am still feeling quite emotionally depleted + something is not quite right in my mind (this is something ive felt for months not i think a hangover of last week) but like fuck it i had a really nice day today

[puppysdog]

fuck all your haters, tell me about your saw-sona

FUCK YEAHHHH ok under the cut cause its probably gonna be long + saw trap details

Her name is Isabella, Izzy for short and preferred. Shes in her mid 20s, home cut choppy straight black hair thats a bit past her shoulders with short bangs. Her style id say is a bit casual 2000s goth/emo (big cargo pants + tight black shirt, black choker, fingerless gloves, big work boots). personality wise shes very nervous/paranoid and has pretty rapid mood swings from being antsy to extreme anger. after she gets out of her trap she gains a little more confidence and channels her anger better, but still isnt the best at speaking up or talking without tripping over her words

her backstory is shes still living at home with her abusive dad and is a prop designer for a small theatre company. shes had a long history of abusive partners and hanging out with manipulative “friends” and such, as well as some pretty severe substance issues. she never tried to solve her problems and instead ran away from everything but still came back to the same bad situations. after driving off crying upset and angry and inebriated after a fight with her dad, she ends up running over (basically bisecting) a pedestrian that ended up being some doctor that was supposed to perform an organ transplant thatd save someones life, leading to two deaths total. she gets away with it in court through sleazy lawyers arguing things like the pedestrian wasnt on a crosswalk and etc.

Amanda is the one that chooses her for one of Kramers traps. i think amanda has a bit of a soft side for her considering her circumstances, but kramer is still the one who makes the trap. the best way i can describe it is its like a giant clock with a vertical pole in the middle. Izzy is attached to the pole by her ankles being chained, her neck being chained, and a long rebar wrapped once around her torso. the rebar extends out to a gear wheel at the edge of the clock, so when the gear wheel starts to move, the rebar begins to wrap around the center (aka where Izzy is trapped). In front of her hanging from the ceiling is the jigsaw tape and a tire iron. extended out of her reach and a bit lower hanging from the ceiling is an off switch. the switch is only reachable by leg length. to escape her trap, she has to break her foot out of the chains by bashing it with the tire iron, and slamming it against the off button. during her trial after she debates in throwing the tire iron at the switch, but realizes if she misses she’ll have no backup plan. she begins to bash her foot, but the tire iron slips from her hands anyways. at this point, she has about a minute left before the rebar wraps tight enough around her to break her ribs and crush her insides. frustrated and screaming that she was going to do it and that she doesnt want to die, she twists and snaps her already damaged ankle out of the chains, and flings her leg forwards, disarming the trap. she makes it out with one severly fucked up foot and a couple of broken ribs. shes wheelchair bound for a bit after and eventually switches to a cane

shes very eagerly takes on the role of John’s apprentice as she sees him not killing her as one of the first kindnesses in her life, and she immediately wants to put her dad in a trap. her traps are decently theatrical due to her prop making skills with a rube Goldberg style premise to them, but they arent always the most stable (at least once or twice has one broken/a victim has broken it)

like i said earlier she gets along with Amanda pretty well. they dont see each other as a threat to John’s legacy since Izzy is just fine with being a follower with no want to actually become Jigsaw, and Amanda is empathetic towards her problems and the fact that shes younger

her and hoffman do NOT get along. hoffman already disliked her based on the fact that amanda chose her, and isnt a fan of her erratic behavior which he considers a liability. she hates him on instinct and doesnt believe he understands kramers ideals, and despises him even more after learning about him switching amandas letter post johns death. he definitely tries to kill her and vice versa after kramer dies

her and john get along great. he has empathy for her being younger and is proud of how she escaped her trap + believes she understands his ideals. its very saw x kramer and amanda relationship but shes a little more obsessive over him and sees him as a mentor figure

her and gordon end up teaming up after kramers death and get along decent. she believes he understands john’s ideals and feels fine following him, theyre both in the fucked up foot club, and both want hoffman dead. shes sees him sort of as a fatherly figure and he sees her kind of as a daughter figure but their work is too fucked up to fully establish that

since im an adam is alive truther and he also works for gordon, i think Izzy and him get along fine as well. they definitely have nasty t4t sex

hehe anyways ty for asking :)

[msm-tsotmw]

6.18.20XX

Hi ! It’s Toorie , And I Just Wanted To Apologize For The Lack Of Posting 😅

I’m Just Hanging Out With My Friends Under The Monstralis , Having A Good Time !

Anyways , Sprigg , Mauna And Moperetta Have Been Gone For A Concerningly Long Time … I Hope They’re Okay !

yea

hopefully they arent dead or some shit

… Dead ??

we havent gotten any calls or messages from them recently

I Mean , They’re In A Cave , So The Reception Might Be Crappy-

it looks like the reception is pretty decent, actually.

… What ?

i mean, we all share a blog, right?

uh

yeah

turns out, sprigg’s been posting basically as much as we have.

oh cool

wait what

jeeo, can you tell ‘em what they’ve been doing down there? I’m gonna go get a cookie.

alright, sure!

(Flitz flies away, leaving Jeeo, Toorie and Mondo with each other.)

?

uh

(He fiddles with his claws.)

so, ummmmmmmm… apparently, sprigg got attacked.

WHAT ??

WH

luckily, they weren’t harmed!! mauna, moperetta, and some kid named bister helped them out.

Oh , Phew .

yea phew

wait who the fuck is bister

ummm, apparently this whiz-bang who washed up on faerie and ended up here on light?

that’s all i know, but they seem to be getting along pretty well with moperetta and mauna, who sprigg is apparently calling “m&m” now.

M&M ! That’s A Cute Nickname !

seems like something id call them ngl

yeah, uh, sprigg was thinking about you guys when they came up with that nickname.

oh cool

That’s Nice ! Where Are They Now ?

um…

(Toorie stares at Jeeo intently.)

lost in a really big crevice.

Oh

WAIT , WHAT ?!?

HOLY SHIT ARE THEY OKAY

yeah, they are!

oh thank glaishur

Whew , Thank Torrt …

however, they’re super lost right now, and they’re wandering around waiting for someone to find them.

oh ok

Well ? Let’s Go Find Them ! They Need Our Help .

but what about flitz? we’ve gotta wait for her to get back.

Oh Yeah

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight .

(Everyone turns to face Flitz, who has returned holding a batch of cookies in her talons.

hey, guys!

oh, there they are!

so, uh, do you guys know about—

Yeah ! We’re Gonna Go Find Them !

wait what

Flitz , Can You Go Tell My Sisters ?

uh, okay??

(Flitz flies away to go tell Crysta and Ritika about where Toorie and co. are going.)

okaaaaaaay, let’s just wait for her, then.

hey uhhh toors

Mhm ?

can i talk to you for a sec

Yeah ! What Is It ?

uhhhhh

are you sure about this

because its probably super dangerous down there

like

its literally pitch black and theres rocks EVERYWHERE

we might trip and fall on smth or even break a fucking bone

Relax , Mondo ! We Can Bring This To Light The Way .

what if we starve

Uhh , Flitz Can Bring Cookies ?

Why Are You Even Worrying So Much In The First Place ? This Isn’t Exactly Like You …

oh

uh

well

its kinda complicated

but uhhh

can we talk a little quieter bcs i dont like other monsters listening to me talking abt this

Sure ! Go Ahead .

uhh

when i was like idk 15 or something one of my buddies dared me to explore a cave

i said no so he went in there instead

and uh

he never came out

Oh .

then i went in there and uh

all i found was his scarf

and nothing else

Oh .

That’s … Scary .

yeah

thats why i dont go in caves

(The two exchange a silence which lasts for like 50 seconds before Toorie suddenly hugs Mondo.)

wha

huh

why are you hugging me

I Just Felt Like You Needed One .

oh uh

..

thanks

(Mondo hugs her back, not knowing that Flitz has flown back. She lands next to Jeeo.)

oh, they are SO in love.

what?

they’re in love, Jeeo! pretty sure that’s kinda obvi-

HEY

We Heard That , Y’know !

flitz!

sorry, but you can’t fight the obvious.

(Mondo buries his face in his hands, embarrassed, then does the Shinji pose on a rock. Toorie bends down to pat him on the back.)

Hey , Flitz ?

yeah?

I Almost Forgot , Can You Get Some Of Our Stuff In My Sisters’ House ? We’re Probably Gonna Need It When In The Cave .

alrighty!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yea

toorie and mondo were too stupid to check the other posts for whatever tf Sprigg was doing lol

(they’re t4t girlfailure x malewife bimbo x himbo and they comfort each other. funny yet wholesome ship dynamics my beloved 👍)

-Mod Jimmy 🗣️

[alba8688]

Chapter 4

The next morning I woke up super early to call in sick to work to go see Eddie at the hospital.

I got in my car and turn on the Radio Metallica master of puppets was playing I tried to change the station but everytime I did it would

Go back metallica.

"Eddie ." I said softly looking through my rear view mirror to see if he was in the back

Seat but he wasn't .

"I like that song." He suddenly appears in the passenger seat looking at me .

"Where are we going ?" He ask

"I'm going to see you ." I said almost as a whisper

Eddie tilts his head to the side and smiles .

"Little ole me?" He blushes

"Yup ." I say popping the p

"Ok let's go see me ,wait I'll be back ." He says and disappears.

Im starting to hate him doing that .

But it's ,whatever .

I started driving to the hospital which wasn't that far away from where I live that's why I like the apartment so much because it was so close to everything.On my way to the hospital I kept looking to the seat next to me to see if Eddie would appear  but he  never came back not until I parked the car and scared the shit out of Me.

"Jesus Christ!!" I shouted

"Sorry sweetheart, I had to make sure I looked decent when you got here ."

He winks at me .

"You came to the hospital ?"

"Yeah duh ,I've been here since last night my uncle was here ,he didn't see me though I don't understand how you can see me .Well anyway Harrington was there so I decided to try something and I went inside him."

'What do You mean inside him?'

"You know how in the ghost movie you go into someone that's alive and control them ,we'll I went inside of him and made him brush my hair and shave me ,you know make me look good for when you got there ,it was a weird experience never tell him I did that ." He shivers

"That was the weirdest conversation I ever had with someone ." I chuckled while getting out of the car .

"So ,you and Jason huh?" eddie startles me

"Jesus Christ Eddie, you need to stop scaring me like that ."

"I love scaring you ." He smirks

"I can tell ."

"So what did you see in Jason?" He asked

"You can't get over that, can you ?".

"Nope never will Jason lover "he cackles

Thinking he is the funniest metalhead around town.

"Well because of Jasón I move here,,4 years ago he asked me to move him With him And I did, I moved  here to Hawkins and got myself a job as a high school teacher because of him you met me so thank him for that ." I must have looked like An idiot talking to myself walking inside the hospital .

"Damn ,if I had a teacher like you back in high school I would have never skipped class." He flirted

"Eddie." I blushed like a

School girl covering my face with my hands .

"What is the true ." He walk in front of me backwards not looking where he was going .

"Be careful!!"I said thinking he was going to

Bump into someone but he just went through the person and I shook my head at his cocky smirk.

"I'm sorry ." I told the man who almost bumped into Eddie giving me a weird look .

"You're such a dork ." I giggled and stopped when we reached the front desk where a grumpy looking nurse was sitting .

"Umm hello ." I say softly

"How can I help you?" She asked not even bother looking at me ,she was watching videos on her phone .

"I was wondering in what room is Eddie Munson in ?" I asked

She didn't say anything but just started typing on her computer .

"Edward Al Munson is in room 204 Thats upstairs in the third floor ." She tells me

"Thank you." I tell

Her and start walking to the elevators .

As soon as I walked in Eddie appeared next to me "Hello Edward Al Munson." I giggle

"Oh shut up !!" He pretended to slightly punched my arm

"Ouch!!" I fake making him laugh

"You can't even feel it ."

I feel something alright but I don't know how

To describe it to him I don't know if I should even tell him.

The elevator door opens to the third floor .

And Eddie and I stepped out, this hall is really quiet, super quiet. We walked around passing rooms with people attached to wires to there bodies and machines around  them keeping them alive .

Was Eddie going to be like this?

I stopped when I saw room 204 .

The room wasn't not like the rest of the other rooms that had glass walls .Eddie's room is actually a regular room.he had a Private room just for him.

I reached for the doorknob and open the door slowly walking in .

When I entered the room it was decorated with posters of bands like Metallica,Dio Black Sabbath and I could hear music playing in the background.

It was Metallica's "Master of puppets."

I turned back to see Eddie but he wasn't behind me anymore .

I kept walking until I reached the curtain that was covering Eddie's bed from the view of the entrance .

I stopped feeling my heart starting to beat faster. I extended my arm to move the curtain to the side slowly and saw Eddie unconscious in bed with tubes on his nose that helped him breathe and a big tube going down his throat.

On the side was a screen that kept checking his blood pressure and his heartbeat .

I approached slowly towards him.

It was the same Eddie that I would talk too but now here he was unconscious.

He looks Exactly the same.

I reached for his hand, rubbing small circles on the back of it  .

"I-I can feel that ?" Eddie suddenly appears next to me .

This time I wasn't scared .

It's like I was expecting him to appear .

I kept my hand right where it was looking at Eddie in the bed .

"I can feel you touching my hand ." Eddie tells me ..

"How is that possible ?" I asked him

"I don't know ."

I stayed in that hospital room for a few hours with Eddie and talked about random stuff he used to do when he was alive or awake .

It was so weird watching him sitting down next to me but at the same time being in that bed attached to all those wires .

I hadn't realized I've been quiet for so long until Eddie told me .

"What's wrong ?" He asked, "Are you crying ?"

"No." It came with a small squeal and more tears fell down my cheek "I'm sorry Eddie ." I managed to say

"For what ?" He asked

"For thinking that your not worth it Eddie you decided to take your life because you thought you weren't love ."I cried

"Aria ." He said softly

"Hello." I heard someone say ,

I wiped my tears and saw Eddie had left.

"Hello there ." Dustin walked in

"You came to visit him ."

"Yeah ,I wanted to tell him that I'm taking good care of his apartment until He wakes up ." I smiled at him..

No one's pov

But what Aria didn't know was that Dustin had heard what she was talking to Eddie the whole time.

Aria had forgotten to close the door and Dustin walked in and heard her talking to Eddie. He thought she was talking to Eddie, who was lying unconscious on the bed, not with the ghost of Eddie .

"Well I have to leave ." Aria got up from the chair and took one more glance at Eddie and she could swear she saw his finger moving.

She gasped and looked at Dustin"He does that a lot ,the doctors say it's a good sign."Dustin sits on the chair Aria was just sitting not that long ago.

Aria steps out of the room with a big knot on her throat. The metalhead she talked to was not dead; he was actually alive by those machines.

Aria’s pov

I walked a little faster trying to get to my car and cried .

"Aria?" I heard Eddie's voice from a distance but I didn't turn around. I couldn't see him right now.

I wanted to cry.

I needed to cry. It hurt me seeing Eddie attached to all Those wires .

I wish I could have met him before he decided to take his life .

But I didn't .

Without realizing I was outside the hospital in the parking lot walking to my car .

I got the keys out and open the door and got in fast locking at the door behind me .

And that's where I couldn't hold it anymore

The tears started falling down without permission. I was cryin for someone that I never met in person .

Well I met his ghost or his soul. I don't know how it works .

  When Claire told me to go out there and find someone I never saw me falling for someone was in a coma.

Next chapter

[hexbugnan0]

aaa nano.

i wanna write some of the intent behind her current actions and why she acts the way she does and the reason she does the things she does but oh my goodness. major spoilers for her backstory.

if i was going to though ill just use the stuff i already have sort of revealed. spoilers for nanobreaker entry 4 im gonna explain the nano bits i put in

hollywood was a really bad time for nano. a lot of it specifically is inspired by bojack horseman and yeah. shes bojack coded herself but. a decent chunk is based off sarah lynn.

^reason for this: nano is like. super self pitying. she has spent the past 3 entries feeling sorry for herself, like a loser. and instead of doing anything abt it she just takes it out on the people around her (atm in entry 2.) it does not help that codebreaker is questioning and second guessing her though. Anyways. nano has two motivations behind voting for atm. ill only explain one of them because the other one is explained by lore later. but. 80% of it was out of anger, and just wanting to feel like she was In Control for once. she is not. shes also just super petty which brings us to

nano is like really immature. she's been sort of childish since entry 1 and shes not gonna stop doing this. this kind of ties into her issues with having responsibilities, as well as um. other parts of her backstory. ok here im going to assume you also read the secret nano comic that you get by clicking the clock.

uhh. ill talk about the conversation she has with synth in the nano intro, because thats where i put the bulk of her lore this challenge. synth convo: synth is still understandably pissed by nano abt the shit she said last challenge. which is fair. it was shortsighted and like. a Very Obvious Lie to everyone on purpose. mostly nano flailing to try and get a sense of control again even though she has no control. So to remedy this, nano apologizes and (she is actually telling the truth in this conversation)

however, um. second part of nano's personality. Shes like. incredibly manipulative with the information she chooses to disclose. she knows synth well enough at this point that disclosing this will make her seem pitiful, and yeah, that goes against her initial attempts to try and seem independent and stuff, but she knows thats a losing battle. at this point the most she can do is to try and gain peoples pity and hope theyll keep sticking with her out of it, as well as use the shitty shit that happened to her to manipulate her way out of the bad things she does (this is a cycle this happens in nano backstory oops)

Anyways she brings up codebreaker and LA next. mostly its to subtly shit talk codebreaker since codebreaker came out of that region, but also its to dump a bit of backstory. and the reason for SecretLeader and also the reason shes been out of it.

she can't take responsibility for her actions ever because shes never actually had to until (unspecified egg incident). and immediately after that she got her responsibility taken away.

im actually going to reveal nanos backstory backwards. from like. most recent all the way back to the hive. which means you guys have to look at pocketwatch first.

pocketwatch is not That complicated shes in the backstory to beat up nano and make her feel helpless enough to join a competition in the middle of nowhere. basically she is nano's (technically current) wife and was emotionally manipulative. thats. all you need to know for Now. When she goes on the spiel abt LA nano is referring to pocketwatch. so yeah take from that what you will. Okay okay so. thats the synth conversation and the bulk of pocketwatch. uhh. most of the codebreaker conversation is actually more codebreaker backstory focused but yeah LA was not good for nano gee i wonder why wow i wonder why serial monogamy why does she fall in that pattern why is she scared of people getting too close to her tune in next time for more deranged limelade lore rambles

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAOO tumblr really said f u…but glad it worked out either way but I seriously need to find a better system for remembering if I actually sent something in or not….hmm….

Anyways hope your flight was nice!! And omg NOO the migraine :(( hope it goes away soon! I wish I had some tips or remedies but I honestly can’t remember anything that was super effective…..

Karasu serving as usual!! No because the Karasu nagi content from epinagi lately is fire like thank you for saving us in the drought that is the PxG match!!

First rin now ISAGI I saw your post and oh my god I was kinda shocked but then again I think we’ve mentioned this possible scenario at some point before so maybe it was just a matter of time….bro atp you’re gonna be providing more content for Kiyora than kaneshiro is you might as well just adopt him as your oc LMAOOO (I think your blog really just has manifestation powers atp let’s just face it)

I’m genuinely laughing my ass off (needed to write it all out for emphasis) at the “karasu anon requests (any)” LMFAOOOOOO but PAUSEEE SINGING READER KARASU??? That sounds very interesting!!!!! WAIT A DAMN MINUTE CHERRY TREE PT 2??? Sign me tf up part one slapped so hard

Also wait riding lesson right when you got back from vacation WITH jet lag AND a migraine??? You’re truly built different I can’t even wake up at a decent time after traveling between time zones ok but Karasu bfb was a JOURNEY LMAOO I’m also never getting over that wc it’s insane

Shidou would go wild for Karasu’s sus comments LMAO adding Otoya to the mix would be so chaotic HAHAHA also someone needs to save yuki asap fr

LMAOOO Karasu truly the only thing holding PxG together esp since Loki probably does not care about the dynamics of the team beyond winning and Charles’ growth

Lukewarm is honestly the perfect word for it…but wait ok speaking did you see the chapter….because wtf….im ngl i still haven’t caught up fully with whatever happened after the yuta gojo freaky Friday but what just came out was wild

SHSHS thats actually so annoying….hopefully it gets resolved soon! Im not super well versed in the topic but have you looked into it being something like vertigo? Or is it till more likely the side effects thing? Either way hope that and your migraine goes away soon and doesn’t come back!!

Anyways I’m gonna go read your latest post and try not to convert to kaiserism (I probably won’t but it should prove for some more uhhhh clearheaded commentary (??) than if I was fully invested in the character too and not just your writing LOL)

- Karasu anon

FR like it all linked up and that’s what matters in the end 🤩 hm ik for me personally when i’ve finished smth and i have it in my notes app i put a little green checkmark emoji next to it?? so maybe once you’ve sent an ask in you could put a green check on the note or smth 🤔

icl the flight was kinda crazy my brother and i were judging the pilot HEAVILY because the landing was kinda bad 😭 we’ve both been flying since we were like 6 months old so we’re very used to planes and whatnot LMAOO we can even tell what went wrong…as soon as the guy started landing we were texting each other like “omg he didn’t descend enough in the air now he has to take the landing too high and he’s going to hit the runway too hard 🙄” “negative aura for the pilot fr” (second text was obviously my brother FJDKDJS he is nothing but a teenage boy through and through)

HAHAHA PLSSS no because i’ve always considered isagi boring because where is the angst potential?? but then i realized that he (and yukimiya who kinda falls into the same boat) are very very yuta okkotsu coded 😳 so like where the angst with characters such as karasu and nagi is the fact that the feelings are there but never quite acknowledged/understood in time, the angst with isagi and yuki and characters like that is that no matter how hard you cling to someone and love them there’s sometimes extenuating circumstances that just tear you apart and there’s nothing you can do abt it (ex all of the dying and whatnot that happened in pomegranate ink…like for the majority of the story reader and yuta are in a relationship but they just can’t be together because of the bs going on in their world) 😰 they’re definitely characters that work better in an au though because in a modern setting they are just too healthy and normal…okay also i’m realizing that me being bored by personality types that i’m supposedly most compatible with might have smth to do with why i’ve never been in a relationship irl 😓 JFKSKS

nah because watch me write a beautiful layered complex kiyora and then all of a sudden my little fun facts abt him appear in the manga or a possible ln 🤨 going to be raising some eyebrows and asking which of my followers is secretly kaneshiro at that point LMAOAOA

HAHA i’m probably going to give your idea posts special tags and then that way i can go back and reference them when i’m in dry spells!! but for now i’ll probably do one of the ideas from each post just so i can clear my inbox LMAOAO i’m going to have to go through and see which characters i’m feeling when i get to them 🤩 and yes the request is for a reader who’s good at singing but shy abt it!! it’s probably going to be on the shorter side (like the isagi ones) but yk my track record with saying that 😭 ALSO YOU HEARD RIGHT CHERRY TREE PT 2!! it’s going to take place when rin goes and finds the reader again after the world cup like he says he will 🥹 so much more of a time skip than instrument pt2 🫣 but i’m excited to write it!! rn i’m working on the nagi req because he’s #bae but cherry tree pt2 might be next 😳 trying to take a break from karasu so i don’t feel like i’m writing the same thing over and over LMAOAAO i’ve written quite a lot for him recently (aka bfb) so i’m switching it up and writing for other characters for a bit 🤩 i have not abandoned karasu nation though trust i will return just taking a second to do my duties to the rest of the fandom 🙏🏻

LMAOOO i’m always on my grind 😩 i missed the pony i ride so i had to go back fr 🙏🏻 tbh it was a struggle getting there but my lesson was pretty good so it all worked out in the end!!

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING like shidou and karasu are actually two peas in a pod it’s insane to me that no one else has picked up on their duo potential 😟 i need them to be besties and a trio with otoya would be insane JFKSDJSJ yukimiya needs friends fr 😭 like poor guy doesn’t even have a canonical bestie in bllk…i’m trying to think of people without a set “duo” that he could be paired up with 🤔 like kunigami has chigiri, isagi has bachira + rin + barou, reo has nagi, and most of the other characters feel like they’re too young to be super close with him (like hiori and all)…maybe gagamaru?? actually that would be crazy because apparently gagamaru thinks one of his strengths is his good eyesight and we all know what’s going on with yukimiya’s eyes 😓 i can’t think of anyone else who’s definitely staying in the manga that doesn’t already have a bff though 😟

yes i did see the new chapter!! honestly idk how i feel abt it…i think it was just done weirdly 🤔 like a lot of people are defending the situation and saying it makes sense/is supposed to be a shock factor thing and while i can definitely see the appeal of that it still doesn’t feel cohesive to me?? like okay she’s back in the last five chapters it just doesn’t sit well for ME considering how important she’s supposed to be 😕 i’m sure people will say i have no reading comprehension or media literacy or wtvr for thinking that but maybe i’m also just sensitive because she’s a female character so i think it’s annoying she was dead for most of the story and then suddenly she’s relevant again randomly?? like to me that is not how you should develop a character especially when you already are on such thin ice with writing women 😰 also again i can see the shock factor aspect but in my opinion an author should not be out to surprise their readers just to say “gotcha 😏” yk?? like if nobara was going to come back it should’ve been done in a way that felt more natural than her just randomly springing up LMAOAOA i’m not saying she should or shouldn’t have shown up earlier in the FIGHT just that it didn’t feel as exciting to me as it could’ve because it didn’t feel earned or deserved 😬 but this is top ten opinions i’ll never share in the public because the jjk fandom WILL jump on me and say i can’t read and blah blah blah 🙄 listen like i said idm her coming back it’s just the execution was off to me!! but also maybe i’d be more hype if i was still super into jjk like i used to be 😔 truly atp i’m just reading to keep up with it and know what happens…maybe one day in the future i’ll go back and binge read the whole manga at once and maybe it’ll feel much more cohesive then!! but we’ll see

sadly i have no clue what it could be 😓💔 but fingers crossed it resolves itself soon 😩 and EEK not kaiserism…i had a brief dip into it because he’s just very easy to write about in literally any au but he’s not a character i can stay passionate abt for very long LMAOAOA like he’s not rlly one of my favs even though i don’t mind him that much

[aahsoka]

vent post abt drawing class

this class is just so fucking stressful for me and i dont really get why other than i think the assignments are too close together ??? my grade is OK like im passing but at least two of my projects were never fully finished and this last one likely will not be and im just ending up really not happy w anything im making either during or after its made so it just feels like torture most of the time . my other two classes are great I have been enjoying making my prints even when they turn out kinda shitty and I enjoyed my art history lectures . i think maybe i hate large scale traditional drawing in general? because while my last drawing class was not as stressful I did get a bit overwhelmed at the end but there I was allowed to go more non representational so I didnt have to worry about fucking . Rendering. im worried if i dont get a decent grade on the final project it’ll tank my grade ???? but i should be good with at least a 65% ish? I think? I will be so fucking happy when this is over . i need a few more upper level art classes to graduate but i REFUSE to retake this class so I just signed up for life drawing again instead bc I found that class soooo relaxing . god i wish my final was like a portrait or something thats something im good at !!!!! not this . drawing pieces of instruments really really realistically shit . and i could maybe do this well if I had MORE TIME . Its all about how i have No Fucking Time !!!!!!!!!!! and adding onto that my brain does the stupid thing where it like absolutely HATES the idea of working on like 90% of these projects so its super hard when I have time to even convince myself to buckle down and work . Its insane . even when i was stressed tf out over my illustrative media class I still ENJOYED THE ACT OF PAINTING. GAHHH. I wish we didnt have a ‘final’ drawing and just like another normal project. I hate the prompt we got for this its annoying as fuck . why did i come up with the idea i came up with. its something I like but my GOD is it fucking COMPLICATED. I dont have the brain power . CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS SHIT ASS CLASS TO BE OVER GOD. ONLY A WEEK AND A HALF LEFT OF THIS SUFFERING

also since i was sick i think i deserve more leniency .

anyways . i think i am giving myself a headache

[ashadowofburnedoutstardust]

Ok so I got bored and tried a rabbit hole about the star Sirius for this one because I can see it year round and its one of the few stars I can pick out. I've had a particular fascination with it since I saw a weird thing in the sky near the constellation back in 2018 near where the tail is located in Canis Major

Apparently Sirius was used to discern the beginning of the new year in an Egyptian calendar at some point which even more weirdly just happened on August 6 2024, even more annoying thats a life path day for me 🤦‍♀️ (24/01/1986 - yes I really was born the day that weird scientology founder dude died)

Apparently Sirius was used as the new year symbol but it also symbolised the upcoming annual flooding of the Nile river

If I were to guess at any reference to eyes? I dunno eye of Horus is an egyptian thing? Supposed to mean Protection, Health, and healing, its a popular tattoo. Theres a whole story about Horus losing his eye and it being restored

All I can day is my brain weirds me the fuck out.....but yeah I got distracted by this lol

I found these: one is called the Rosette Nebula, the other is known as the Cone nebula. I can't look at these next to each other and keep a straight face because apparently I'm 12 but.....

*ahem* Anyway......

I was reading about how Sirius is part of some kind of asterism triangle and signifies the beginning of the year in an ancient egyptian calendar when I came across a constellation called Monoceros or "The Unicorn" which is apparently where these two Nebulae are located. If I had a decent enough telescope I could look up at them from here right now

You can imagine why the word "Unicorn" would get my attention.....

I have no idea what this has to do with my dreams that tend to predict things - my brain could be processing things but I've never heard of these before so I'm still trying to figure out how I see the patterns of things before I see them 🤷‍♀️ or however this is supposed to work but the blue and pink tinges of colour from my dream just struck me when I saw these images

Again I'm not always able to discern things until after something has happened but sometimes its just nice to try and keep track of things for the fun of it as well

Also when I stumble across these things it does my head in a little and I need to put it somewhere

And since y'all decided to come along for the ride....feel free to be weirded out with me

I have absolutely no fucking idea what the message is here 🤷‍♀️

I'm going to allocate last nights dream to my own processing of the world around me but you never know with me, even I don't always know with me - so I'm going to write it down:

I would have to say the intensity that was felt throughout the dream was more than likely a side effect of consuming an entire tub of ice cream but honestly I'm on my way to bed again and its still got hold of mind nearly a day later

The Cosmic Eye

The colours were extraordinarily vivid throughout

There's really only three parts I remember clearly

I'm in the middle of a city by the harbour, the wharf I'm standing is almost flush with the surface of the water.

The surface of the water is smooth and I can see the reflection of the buildings in the water

My daughter runs along the wharf - she's much younger than she is now - and jumps into the water but it's a little too deep so I pull her out and carry her under my arm back towards land

The next thing I know I'm looking at pictures of various medical scans of eyes on a board, why eyes I'm not entirely certain but it tied a little bit into the next part of the dream

Im in the house I grew up in and I glance out the window looking up at the sky

There is a great expanse of clouds covering one half, and heavily populated great cosmic sea of stars on the other

Imagine if you could see all of the stars in the night sky from everywhere in our universe clearly no matter there distance

My mind can't shake the image of it even now while I'm awake........

I can see a nebula, it reminds me of the cats eye nebula except there are many more stars in it and the colouring more pinkish red

It's like staring into the eye of the consciousness of the universe itself........

I try to grab my camera to take a photo of it but the clouds begin to move across the sky like a curtain turning the sky an evening blue before I can

I look up again and see sirius in the sky above me as a lone shining star and a feeling of calm comes over me