#but thats just my take. but i think hes got issues with fame and all that just like leon

[randomthefox]

Hey there. I’ve been reading through your blog and you seem to have some pretty good opinions on the Sonic franchise. Compare that to me. You see, I’ve consumed so much Sonic media outside of the games and read so many headcanons online that my perspective is probably pretty warped. So I’ve got a request, if you don’t mind. First, I’m going to list off my interpretation of Sonic the character.

I’ve always seen Sonic as arrogant. An extrovert who knows he’s the hero. Who loves the attention and embraces his own hype. Not that Sonic only does things for the fame. He does things because he knows in his head what he’s doing is right. He just enjoys the fame he sometimes receives for it. This lines up with how he’s consistently interpreted verbally destroying his enemies and how he loves travelling the world and meeting new people (because you have to love meeting new people if you love travelling the world). He loves talking to people and loves talking down to people who are being jerks because Sonic loves being in the spot light. And I don’t mean arrogant in the derogatory sense. It’s always a joy to get swept up by his sheer force of charisma. To watch as he walks all over his enemies because they tend to be narcissistic murderers. I find his arrogance gives him layers. It makes him flawed while also giving a good reason for why he refuses to change. Sonic only does things his way, and we’re all just lucky that involves doing good. He radiates confidence, so it’s no wonder so many people follow and respect him. But he’s also simple. He doesn’t have any kind of complex moral philosophy. If you asked him why he did something he probably wouldn’t be able to give anything more complicated than a shrug and maybe a one to three sentence answer. Something about doing what he thought was right in the moment. Because Sonic is also impulsive. So, while he doesn’t always do things in the most effective way possible, he always does what he thinks is right, and that tends to be the right thing, at least in spirit. Thats my take on Sonic’s character. Now, I want you to tell me what’s wrong with it. Feel free to rip it to shreds. I want to know what’s true (if anything), and what was born from fandumb or the comics and isn’t an accurate interpretation of the game canon. Only if you want to that is. I understand that this is a pretty long read.

>Hey there. I’ve been reading through your blog

I'm so sorry

>I’ve consumed so much Sonic media outside of the games and read so many headcanons online that my perspective is probably pretty warped.

Like that person who got all their info about Avatar The Last Airbender from fandom memes and didn't know who Aang was? No shade, I'm just poking fun. We all gotta start somewhere.

>I’ve always seen Sonic as arrogant. An extrovert who knows he’s the hero. Who loves the attention and embraces his own hype.

What you are describing is Archie Sonic, aka Steven Maurice Urkle the Hedgehog. That is how Archie Sonic was written. The Archie comics are not in continuity with the video games, as the comics themselves state plainly at the beginning of every single issue.

Archie Sonic is a completely different character compared to the Real Sonic, and what you are describing is precisely what makes them different. Because the Sonic from the video games is quite the opposite.

Sonic being arrogant isn't quite true. It's more that he's CONFIDENT. He's well aware of what he's capable of, both in regards to what he can accomplish AND what his limitations are. If something is beyond his ability, he has no bones about admitting it and working to overcome those limitations so that he'll be able to handle it. Ego doesn't factor in whatsoever, if he's stronger than a threat he's happy to admit it bluntly and with maybe a small degree of bravado, but if he CAN'T handle something he won't pretend otherwise.

I would argue that Sonic is actually an introvert. Fukurou-Hoseki used to have some really good videos about this subject, but unfortunately they've vanished off the face of the internet and their videos are no longer available. This is a shame because whilst I didn't agree with ALL of their opinions, and we had some personality clashes from time to time, overall I think they had very good insight into Sonic's character and explained their interpretations well with evidence from the video games to support their conclusions. Anyway, yeah put me in team Sonic Is An Introvert.

This doesn't mean that he's shy or has a problem with social interaction. Sonic definitely is happy to engage with people. But being an introvert means that he "recharges his batteries" by BEING ALONE, in solitude by himself away from other people, and it is irrefutably true that Sonic enjoys spending time alone. His dang catch phrase for a while was "long time no see" BECAUSE he would go long periods of time without interacting with even his close companions, because he's off gallivanting on his own doing stuff by himself. He doesn't even have a house, he just goes wherever the wind blows him and sleeps wherever he stops - he isn't Tails' roommate, he doesn't hang out in a tree outside of anyones house. The most we ever see is in Sonic Adventure it's heavily implied that he's staying at the Emerald Coast hotel as a guest since he was sleeping by the pool in the morning when Tails crashed, and the front desk clerk gives Sonic a unique introduction compared to every other character. He is NOT uncomfortable being around other people, but when left to his own devices Sonic is more often seen BY HIMSELF.

And he definitely does not soak in the praise and adulation from an adoring public. Again, that's Archie Sonic. Archie Sonic definitely is centrally motivated by his reputation as "the hero of mobius" and getting recognized for being as such and grapples with all the expectations that come with that title. But Game Sonic does not seek the limelight. He does not REJECT praise, he accepts compliments and appreciation for his actions, but he'll often brush them off with the sentiment of "I just did it because I felt like it."

And he never sticks around to soak in the cheers of an adoring public grateful for his heroic deeds. The only scene anywhere even close to that was in Sonic Adventure when he went Super Sonic, and that was clearly a "lend me your energy" moment where the hopes and wishes of a desperate populace allowed the positive energy of the Chaos Emeralds to let him transform. AFTER he got finished stopping Chaos and saving the day, Sonic fucking DIPPED. He just left, when no one else was even really looking, and just ran off. TAILS is the one who ended up getting a heroes celebration by Station Square which gifted him with a Chaos Emerald for his efforts to save the city - Sonic has never been stated to take part in any kind of ceremony in his honor like that. And even at the end of Sonic Forces, Sonic doesn't even bother to hang out with the Resistance which are his own friends after the day is saved, he just ran off like he always does.

Sonic does NOT "love the attention." He does not "enjoy the fame." He won't REJECT attention, he doesn't seem to resent or have a problem with being famous, but he doesn't think he even did anything special to warrant receiving attention or being famous. And he does NOT see himself as a hero. He was just doing what he felt like doing.

>He loves talking to people and loves talking down to people who are being jerks

Eh, Sonic is kind of a man of few words. He tends to only say as much as is needed, he definitely isn't a conversationalist. I don't think we've ever seen him engage in small talk, and when he is in a conversation with someone he tends to be more of an active listener who only pipes in when he has something of merit to contribute. And he definitely doesn't "talk down" to anyone? I mean, Sonic likes to trash talk sure, but it always seems more good natured and playful than anything else. When Sonic is REALLY pissed off at someone, he tends to clam up and becomes incredibly blunt and straight forward about how he feels. This isn't really him talking down to them, it's more like a dressing down.

>He does things because he knows in his head what he’s doing is right.

See above. Sonic doesn't do what he does "because" it's "the right thing to do" or anything like that. He does what he does because he likes doing it. He felt like it. He enjoys it. He LIKES helping people. That really is all it comes down to.

>I find his arrogance gives him layers. It makes him flawed while also giving a good reason for why he refuses to change.

Sonic has flaws, and "arrogance" isn't one of them. Sonic is a creature of instinct, he does what comes naturally to him without really thinking twice about it. He's not really a look before he leaps kinda guy, if it seems proper to jump he's just gonna jump. USUALLY this works out for him, because he really is just that good.

But it's definitely not a positive trait. Sonic Lost World was a game dedicated to confronting that element of his character by having things NOT turn out positively when he did something on a whim, and he didn't even learn a lesson because he just kept doing it and getting his friends in trouble in the process lol. You don't need to make up a flaw to give him dimensions, he already has them.

And Sonic doesn't "refuse" to change, he just doesn't need to. He's already a complete self actualized person. There's nothing for him to need to change into. He already lives by the truth that he believes. This is in contrast to the type of character who undergoes a positive character arc, who lives by "a lie that the character believes" such as Tails who believes the lie that he isn't good enough on his own and needs to emulate Sonic to become cool - his character arc is about overcoming that lie and realizing the truth that he can be capable effective and cool just by being himself. But Sonic is a character who already knows what the truth is, and he uses that truth to overcome the challenges of the narrative and to inspire change in a lie burdened world. Sonic doesn't NEED to change, because he's already perfect. Instead, Sonic is a vehicle to inspire change in others.

>Sonic only does things his way, and we’re all just lucky that involves doing good.

I've seen other people express this sentiment as well, and while I understand where it's coming from... it doesn't jive with me personally. Like, I get it, it's the "what's so funny about truth justice and the american way?" Superman story thing, where everyone realizes that if Superman wasn't bound by his ideals the world would be fucked.

But frankly that just doesn't feel right when we're talking about Sonic. I don't disagree with the sentiment, but to me it feels like saying "we're lucky the sky is blue and that grass is green" you know what I mean? We aren't "lucky" that Sonic is a good person, because he literally would NEVER be a bad person. I dunno, it's hard for me to articulate this one. I don't disagree, it just doesn't have a good mouth feel for me personally.

>He radiates confidence, so it’s no wonder so many people follow and respect him. But he’s also simple. He doesn’t have any kind of complex moral philosophy. If you asked him why he did something he probably wouldn’t be able to give anything more complicated than a shrug and maybe a one to three sentence answer.

Yes. Correct. And it would definitely be a one sentence answer, and that sentence would be "I did it because I felt like doing it." lol

>Because Sonic is also impulsive. So, while he doesn’t always do things in the most effective way possible, he always does what he thinks is right, and that tends to be the right thing, at least in spirit.

Also yes. The only chaffe is this idea of "what he thinks is right." I know it feels like I'm nitpicking or being pedantic, but I do think this is an important distinction. Sonic does NOT do things "because" "it's the right thing to do." He does things because he WANTS to do them. He SINCERELY enjoys and has fun HELPING PEOPLE and STOPPING BAD GUYS. And that is the only reason he does it! Because he likes it. Because he wants to. Because it genuinely doesn't occur to him to NOT do so. Saying he does it "because it's the right thing to do" implies that he has or needs a REASON to do it, and he doesn't. "Don't Ask Me Why, I Don't Need A Reason/I've Got My Way, My Own Way" are literally the words in his theme song.

>Thats my take on Sonic’s character.

It seems like you mostly saw people talking about Archie Sonic if I'm being honest lol. People can like what they like, but Archie Sonic is his own distinct character. Not even a "version" of Sonic, he's just a COMPLETELY different character who happens to also be named Sonic. Which, frankly, is why I hate him. Because he dilutes the discussion. He'd be a perfectly fine character on his own, but he doesn't exist on his own. He wouldn't exist without the Real Sonic, and I'm definitely long past the point of even pretending to tolerate Archie Sonic in any capacity. You would not have these conceptions about Sonic's character if it wasn't for Archie Sonic, because everything and I mean basically every single thing you are describing is just Archie Sonic. Including the stuff that is actually accurate to Game Sonic.

You can like Steve the Hedgehog all you want. I would like him too, if he was allowed to exist as his own character. But he's NOT Sonic. Never was. And I enthusiastically recommend experiencing the Video Games first hand so you can truly meet Sonic yourself.

[gamergirlshelby]

Heyo whats up! The other day I stumbled across this post by @jazz-kitty which pitched a possible Swap AU for Pokemon Reborn, which this small comic in of itself inspired. so many ideas for more swaps for.

So after getting the go ahead from Jazz, I thought it could be fun to ramble about some more possible swaps for some of the other swaps for this au :3

Its a good bit so I'm gonna put it under a read more because I have many ideas that I am happy to explain!

Ok first off are the swaps already present in the original post by Jazz, which I will be using as a baseline for my ideas! The most notable swap is Cal and Blake Whitaker being the focus of the original comic, and already I think that is just. a really neat concept all things considered. Already both of their arcs would be very different, with Cal never going to Apophyll, likely still having a lot of that pent up frustration and anger issues, and Blake mellowing out a bit, but probably still being a bit of a jerk since he doesn't really give a shit about a lot of whats going on. If anything I'd still say that Blake probably still kicked Cal's ass when they first meet like in canon which makes Cal even more mad at him in swap au,

Next is Lin swapping with the protagonist. Honestly I'd still need to think about which protagonist would take canon Lin's place since I don't really have a definitive favorite among them, and I feel like they all would be pretty interesting to switch around. I just know that it'd probably end up being one of them.

Then last of the swaps shown in the comic is Bennett taking the place of Shelly. To be honest Bennett ending up more like an anxious bookworm might be better for him in the long run versus how he is base game. Don't get me wrong Bennett probably has one of my favorite arcs throughout main game and post game, but I'm doing a playthrough rn and I just got to Iollia valley and. C'mon man.

First off is a big swap between Julia and Florinia with Amaria and Titania respectively (as well as Fern and Hardy but I'll get to them in the next section). Julia taking the place of Amaria, with Amaria being in charge of the water treatment center/gym and Julia living with Florinia in the Fiore Mansion. Titania would be a teacher at the Onyx school in Florinia's stead, writing as a side hobby, while Florinia maybe works out in the field studying pokemon strategy in the wild to better understand them? Her gym being out in the desert would also fit with her theme of being a grass type sand team.

Next is Fern and Hardy swapping. Hardy loses his connection with Titania as she gets absorbed in her work at the school, falling more into his rock star persona, although he ends up more arrogant due to his fame around the school and city. Then there's Fern, who I'd say is probably more like he is post game? Definitely the kind of guy who'd make someone smile (although still probably a little misguided).

My next swap is a bit simpler being Cain and Aya, with Aya being the recurring rival and Cain being the poison type gym leader, Cain not being able to runaway while Aya does.

Another somewhat big swap is Solaris and Elias as well as Taka and Luna, with Elias being the founder of Team Meteor, Luna being the unwilling heir, Solaris is the third member of the elite four and Taka is on the run from his father, carrying the emerald brooch.

To round out the ideas I had for Team Meteor is Sirius and Connal. They both have connections to the Belroses and also they are both huge pieces of shit. Sorry to be blunt but its true.

Another swap that I think would be interesting is Noel and Anna with Eve and Lumi respectively. Honestly I don't really have much of an explanation I just think they would be interesting pairs to switch.

And thats all the swaps I was able to come up with. There are probably more I could come up with and honestly knowing me I could probably come up with swaps for the whole game if you give me like. a week. but also that would take me forever and I am tired-- i might end up doing some doodles for these ideas at some point to cause swap aus are fun. anyways thanks for reading my rambles :3

[nicotinzwei]

November

Okay so I think I’ll try to do a monthly thing on here and just talk about my favorites but I won’t stick to the same categories each time. So heres my recap for November!

Show Twin Peaks is a long time favorite. A friend recommended this show for years because he knew I’d like it, but I hate watching new content so I put it off forever. Well he was right... So much of the media I love is inspired by Twin Peaks (Life is strange, Nightvale, SIMS 2 FOR DS). My favorite genre is very very strange town. I just started rewatching it again and I (guy who has only seen twin peaks) honestly can’t think of a show thats so dark and funny at the same time. Also the theme is amazing please listen to it while you read this. (I had to go through this paragraph and delete all the times my hands automatically typed twink peaks)

Game When I was a kid I had this game called King Arthur. Its a board game but the board talks to you. It has weird sensors that you had to put your gross sticky children fingers on and then it recognizes where on the map you are and the characters interact with you. For 2003 that was super advanced. It didn’t have much to do with the original story, you just had to colletct items and fame to win and pull the little plastic sword out of the stone. The game has been discontinued for a while but i got it second hand online. The sensors are kind of messed up so I have to press really hard with my gross stricky adult fingers but its still fun.

Drink I hate wine but I love met. This month I found it in a supermarket so i dont have to wait for the next renaissance fair to have some. I also found out that you can drink it warm and its the best thing ever, but a bit sweaty.

Clothing Me and my boyfriend are on the opposite end of the pant width scale. They only wear the tightest 2010 emo ripped jeans and i just got the biggest cargo pants I found. Heres a list of thigs that I can fit in the big pockets: bag of chips if you let the air out, small water bottle, medium popcorn, my whole forearm, met. They’re also very noisy when you walk, so you can easily conceal and noises the stuff youre trying to smuggle into the cinema could make.

Video I Emailed My Doctor 133 Times: The Crisis In the British Healthcare System by Philosophy Tube was my video of the month. Abby takes us through her struggle against the health care system during her transition. Yes, Britains system is even more fucked up but the issues stay roughly the same all around Europe. November was also Trans Day of Rememberance and this video shows some of the reasons why. Sorry for ending on that note but just squishing it between the lighter topics wouldn’t feel right and it was also part of my month.

See you after December!

[salandition]

Wear it Like a Jacket

Raihan x Reader

A/N: This started off as a request that someone sent me, but i noticed i was straying very far away from the initial idea and prompt so I made it into it’s own post. 

Word Count: 3,700+

---

Raihan wears a big, fluffy, comfortable hoodie over his gym uniform- and he almost always wears his gym uniform. The gym clothes don’t really suit him, and the shorts show off too much of his legs, in his opinion- but the fans love his legs, so he guesses there’s at least that.

But Galar is known for it’s fickle weather, and Hammerlocke is built smack-dab in the middle of the Wild Area- you know, the place with several different climates that rotate daily? Yeah.

So Raihan takes what he can get with his uniform- using the hoodie as his one solace during the cold weather as his legs shake from being so naked and bare during literal snowstorms.

That being said, at least the uniform is nice for when the sun is determined to blast literal heat rays onto the city that create a fuzzy haze in the air. That’s the only time that he takes off his big hood, tying the article around his hips instead. Still, the hoodie doesn’t leave him. It’s always on him.

A shame that it’s been used against him. He wore it at first because he didn’t like his clothes, and he didn’t like showing his skin, and he really didn’t like having so many eyes on him and admiring him. Despite the selfies, the attitude he showcases out there- there’s truth to it, of course, but only so much. It was nice, but stifling. Raihan brought the hoodie with him originally to feel more secure, to ground him with something familiar and something that belonged to him.

Raihan was ignorant when he did such a thing- he should have predicted that people would leech everything they could get. The hoodie became his staple- a part of his image. It was his uniform now, just as much as the collared shirt and shorts were. And he just had to live with that.

That’s fine. It’s comfortable, it’s soft, it’s snug. He’s not complaining.

But he doesn’t wear it outside of work anymore.

No one has ever commented on it, though. No one really pays attention to Raihan like that, honestly, so he’s not surprised. He hardly even realizes it himself- it’s not something noticeable. Not really.

You were different, though, apparently. His eyebrows raises in surprise and interest as you ask him one day-

“Why don’t you wear your jacket?”

His lips pull up as his brow furrows, just a bit confused as he looks down at you. “What do you mean? I wear it all the time.”

“At work,” you look away from him as you look ahead, shuffling on the bench you sit on. Your hand ruffles through a plastic bag, taking out a handful of crumbs before you throw it out on the grass and several bird Pokemon flock down to get a bite. “You never wear it out of the gym.”

Raihan hums, watching the birds and how they flap their wings and one of the bigger ones puffs out its chest as it tries to get more than the rest. “I guess. Never really thought about it. Does my current outfit not do it for you?”

“That’s not it,” you tell him, “I just noticed. I guess I wondered if there was a reason behind it. You used to wear it all the time- your dad gave it to you, right?”

He had no idea you would remember such a thing.

“...Yeah,” Raihan says. “That’s true.”

He doesn’t say anything else and neither do you. The two of you once again sit in silence, simply just being in each other's company as you spread out food for the wild Pokemon around the park. It’s a beautiful day out- the sun is shining but not in an overwhelming way, a breeze flits through the air and through his thick hair, leaving little bumps on his neck.

For once, he’s wearing pants, so he’s not as cold as he’d usually be. It’s pleasant.

“But you do look nice,” your voice cuts through the silence eventually and Raihan turns his head lazily to look at you. Surprisingly, you look him in the eye- something you tend to avoid doing, so it almost catches him off guard how confident you are and how your eyes shine so brightly with the sun behind your head. “You always do, but I like what you’re wearing now, too.”

“Oh, yeah?” Raihan smiles as he lets out a soft breath, his back slouching more as he relaxes against the hard bench. His head tilts just barely as he tries to look at you from another angle-

Hear your words from another angle. But he doesn’t see or hear anything except for everything that was already there.

“Thank you, then,” he says simply and you smile at him as you nod, your eyes squinting and nose scrunching in the cute way it does whenever you smile.

It’s not much longer after that when the two of you part, both having another thing to do while the day was bright and shining. You comment that you should do this again, and Raihan hums an agreement- and that was that. The walk back to Raihan’s home is relatively peaceful, besides the few times that a fan sees him and waves eagerly from across the street. But no one wants pictures today or conversation- it’s a rare day that happens, especially during such nice weather, so Raihan appreciates it. He appreciates the rare silence he’s given, especially when he’s busy trying to pull your words apart in his head.

When he opens his front door, closes it behind him, Raihan finds himself torn by how simple you are. Simplicity has never been so confusing. He shouldn’t really be wondering why you say the things you say- why you noticed such a trivial detail about him, that surely everyone else has noticed too, probably- it’s not a big deal.

Still, when Raihan wanders into his room and sees that same, familiar hoodie sitting clean and neat on it’s hanger in his closet- he can’t help but draw his eyebrows together and feel odd. He reaches forward without even realizing it, feels the material of something he’s felt hundreds of times between his fingers.

Your dad gave it to you, right?

Raihan hardly remembers telling you such a thing. 

Frustrated, he lets the sleeve go and shuts his closet in an act of defiance, though Raihan has no idea what he’s even defying. A jacket is a jacket- and it’s hardly even that, anymore. It’s a uniform. 

It wasn’t supposed to be a uniform. 

---

Raihan’s been feeling stranger lately. It’s not bad- but it bothers him that his jacket feels itchy all of the sudden when he goes to work- and it bothers him that he doesn’t know why he feels strange in the first place. It’s irritating, honestly, but Raihan is a relaxed guy and he doesn’t get irritated. 

So everyone hardly has anything to say besides what’s routine, because Raihan isn’t any different. Not really. 

But when you come to visit him at work, you confuse him again. “What’s wrong?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed. He does the same as he looks down at you. Again. You’re really short. 

“What do you mean? I feel fine.”

“You’re acting different,” your lips purse as you mumble and your arms cross across your chest. You look away as you ponder. “Maybe I’m wrong though,” you say, quickly taking it back- Raihan doesn’t know why you’re so quick to doubt yourself. “I guess I thought you were a bit tense. You’re itching your arms a lot.”

Raihan doesn’t know what to say to that. He looks at his arms- the sleeves of his jacket pulled up to his elbows- and he’s confused when he finds lines there. Lines his nails left from scratching too hard. 

Why didn’t he notice that?

“Maybe I’m allergic to something,” he says, putting his hands in his pockets. Raihan knows he isn’t allergic to anything but soybeans.

You take the bait though, murmuring that maybe that was it, and the conversation moves on. The two of you talk about a variety of things, and then Raihan has to leave to work more with his gym trainers. You leave after you wrap an arm around his thin waist, pulling him into a side-hug and successfully confusing him further as you bid him goodbye and let him go. 

You didn’t even let him hug you back- but that wasn’t it. You’ve never done that before. Hug him? No, not really. He’ll hug you sometimes, as much as he hugs everyone else. But Raihan remembers distinctly how you often shy away from affectionate things like that and you’ve told him that you don’t really feel comfortable initiating contact. 

It’s flattering that you would hug him. That’s what he should be feeling. But instead he’s just...

He doesn’t know. 

---

The next time the two of you meet, Raihan isn’t wearing his jacket. He wears a faded purple hoodie, a black collared shirt beneath it, and once again he hides his long legs behind some grey jeans. You invited him out for breakfast- of all meals. 

Raihan didn’t even know people went out for breakfast. It was always lunch or dinner. 

The morning air is refreshing though when he walked to your apartment and picked you up, and the conversation is equally as refreshing. He’s glad you invited him out since he’s been feeling odd ever since the last time you talked. Thankfully, he doesn’t feel that way anymore. 

As you both eat your fruit and pancakes at the diner, Raihan feels light and relaxed. He breathes easy. 

You confuse him sometimes, but he doesn’t think it’s really your fault. Nothing you do is wrong or weird- it’s just Raihan. He’s the weird one. 

You’re the bright, beautiful one with the same shining eyes you had in the park. You haven’t changed, and that’s nice. 

So when you ask him, “are you feeling better?” Raihan tries to keep breathing easy. 

“I don’t know,” he says honestly and takes another bite of his fruit. “But I feel good right now.”

“I’m glad for that,” you smile. Raihan doesn’t try to hide his stare. “If you need to talk about something or vent, I can listen. I’m not nearly as busy as you, so I’m sure I have the time whenever you need me.”

Raihan hums as a reply. 

---

It’s around six A.M. when he calls you. Raihan doesn’t expect you to answer, but you do, so he doesn’t take that for granted. 

“Do you think gym leaders are allowed to play hooky?” He asks you. He sits on his bed, naked besides his boxers, and he’s staring at his closet. 

Your voice is rough and groggy, probably from just waking up. “I don’t think so, but the Gym Challenge isn’t really happening right now...” You hum and Raihan can hear shuffling on the other end. “Why would you want to? You have a plan?” 

“Not exactly,” Raihan says. “I guess I just don’t want to go.” 

A few silent beats pass until you talk again. “...Do you want to come to my place?” 

“Yeah.”

“Alright,” you grunt- Raihan thinks you’re proabably getting out of bed, “I’ll make some tea.”

---

When Raihan arrives at your place, he’s got a bag around his shoulder and skinny jeans on, which feels ridiculous because of how early it is, but skinny jeans are warm. 

You let him in without question, though, letting him close the door behind him as you wander to the kitchen. He follows behind, lowering his head when the doorway to the kitchen gets in his way. 

He’s too tall. 

“You like black tea?” You smile and sit at the table where two glasses sit. You take your spot, and he takes his. 

“Yup,” Raihan says, but when he looks down, it’s definitely not black tea that sits in his cup. He gives you a look, and you smile wider as you put a spoon in yours and stir. 

“Everyone knows that about you,” you say. “But I know you like green tea, too. With a blend of white.” Your head makes a nod as you look at his bag, gesturing to it. “Are you going to put the bag down?” 

Raihan slowly removes the strap from his shoulder, looking at you strangely as he puts the bag down to rest on his chair. “I didn’t realize you knew so much about me,” he says, selecting the words carefully. 

“I don’t know anything you haven’t told me,” you tilt your head in curiosity, still stirring your tea. Raihan sighs and frowns, looking back at his cup. 

“I guess I didn’t realize that, either.”

“Does it bother you?”

“I don’t know,” He frowns more. “I think I tell everyone the same things. My friends the same details. It’s never really brought up, though.” When he finally sips his tea, it’s full of flavor but burns his tongue. 

Raihan drinks some more and he doesn’t even wince. 

You hum as you take in what he’s told you. “What’s in the bag?” You ask him instead of questioning him on the other topic further. Raihan looks across the table at you, your face surprisingly calm. 

“...I wanted to ask you something,” Raihan stands from the table, and you follow suit, waiting beside him as he ruffles in the bag and brings out his hoodie. The familiar, iconic one- clean and warm from the dryer. He hands it to you, waiting for you to take it as you stare at the article wide-eyed. “Could you put this on?” 

You look at him, utterly confused.”Why?”

It’s six A.M. That fact is somehow really solidified in his head at this moment that he stands in your kitchen, feeling oddly desperate as he gives you something that is precious. 

“I... Whenever I put it on,” his hand lowers, holding the jacket tightly between his fingers, “it feels weird. No matter how many times I wash it, it makes me itch. I checked for bugs, all that- but there’s nothing. So I want you to put it on and just- tell me if it itches.” He’s aware that the idea is weird, and Raihan is ready for you to call him crazy and that he needs to go to work- 

Instead, you take the hoodie from his hands as you tell him, “okay.” Your head nodding in a resolute way. 

...Okay. 

Raihan can’t do much but watch as you unfold the jacket, shaking it out and then move it behind you as your arms slip through the sleeves. You fumble for the zipper and struggle to latch it and pull it up, because the hoodie goes all the way down to your knees- if Raihan wasn’t feeling like a bit of his soul was riding on this, he would have laughed. 

But he doesn’t, and he thinks you noticed that. 

“...Itchy?” He asks after a few moments, once the hoodie is zipped up and securely around you. You lick your lips and purse them, nose scrunching up as you think- cute- and then your arms fall to your sides as you look up at him. 

“...Not really. It feels soft and comfortable- I’m not feeling anything itchy, besides maybe the tag on my neck.” 

Raihan sighs- his body practically falling into your kitchen chair as he sits down and lays his head on the table. “What is it, then?” He groans, dragging the words longer than they need to be as he feels like he’s losing. Losing to what- he doesn’t know. But he’s losing. 

Your hand places on his back, rubbing gently until eventually you ask, “why don’t you put it on?”

He looks at you as his head lies on the table, cheek squished, and he rolls his eyes. “You know, I hadn’t tried that.”

You snort and pinch his back. “Just do it for me. I want to see something, too. I did it for you, so do it for me.”

Clearly, you have an idea. So Raihan groans some more as he sits up, watching you with half lidded eyes as you take off his jacket and hand it over to him. Raihan shrugs it on as he does nearly every morning, the jacket fitting him the way it always does. 

“How does it feel?” You ask. 

He waits. 

His face falls, and you fall down to squat beside him, a hand on his thigh as you balance on your toes. 

“I don’t get it,” he says, “it’s been bothering me all week.”

“Okay,” you say, taking a breath as you look up at him from your spot on the floor. Your hand starts to rub his leg- not in a way that’s suggestive or crude. It’s comforting- at least, it’s supposed to be. Raihan’s not sure how he feels at all in this moment. “But let’s think about it. Usually, you only wear it at work, right?” Raihan nods. “Right now, you’re only with me.”

He purses his lips, eyebrows furrowing. “That still doesn’t make sense.” You give him a look. 

“Raihan,” you sigh, “You’ve been acting off all week. Ever since we met at the park- do you think that’s just me? Or is it true?” 

His silence is enough of an answer. 

“I think there’s something bothering you, but I can’t tell you what it is. It’s impossible for me to know that,” Raihan almost scoffs. He’s not sure that’s true. 

You seem to know more about him than Raihan himself does, these days. 

Your hand around his knee, you shake him a bit. “So, do you think you can tell me?”

Raihan looks down at you again- and it’s odd. You’re odd- even if that goes against what he said yesterday. He doesn’t think that’s true anymore. Because here you are, squatting beside him and talking him through something- whatever this is- at six o’clock in the morning. With his favorite tea on the table- getting cold, if he might add. 

Who does that?

He sighs, an elbow on the table as he sits up to prop his face in his palm. His fingers scratch at his cheek. “You mentioned how I never wear my jacket outside of work. And I guess I was thinking about how that’s true. And a variety of other things.” 

You shake his leg again, and Raihan smiles as he huffs out a breathy chuckle. 

“So many people stare at me,” he closes his eyes, “so many people are looking. The appreciation for it comes and goes. I like the attention, and I like my job. But it’s... it’s like my life is impersonally personal. Like no matter what I bring to the screen, to the people watching me- it’s Raihan, right? The great gym leader, Leon’s ultimate rival- Raihan who goes feral, Raihan who uses the weather, Raihan who takes a bunch of photos.” 

“Who wears the sweater?” You add, and Raihan’s blue eyes open and stare ahead of him. 

“...Yeah.” He snorts. “I’m not even making any sense, but yeah.” 

You shrug from below him, but don’t offer him any words. You just keep looking at him- so Raihan guesses he isn’t done explaining himself. 

“I guess...” Raihan starts, the words taking their time to come out as the gears in his brain process. “I like my job, but I don’t like... when the things important to me lose their meaning because of all the people looking at me,” his free hand wanders to his jacket then, once again feeling the material between his fingers. 

Soft and warm. Unstained, despite everything it’s been through. Raihan made sure of that. 

“I think I get what you mean. I can’t say I wholeheartedly understand, because I’m not in your position,” your other hand grabs his hoodie too, making Raihan once again put his focus on you as you smile so gently at him. “But I can make sense of it- I can tell why you’re feeling bothered. So do you know what I think?” 

Raihan smiles back, raising an intrigued eyebrow. “What do you think?” He asks.

“I think you should wear this when we go out for breakfast again tomorrow,” you tell him. “And I think you should wear it when you go to work today.” 

Finally, you stand- groaning a bit as you do and wiggling your toes. Raihan’s eyes follow you, lips forming a pout. 

“You’re not letting me play hooky, after all?”

You laugh, eyes sparkling again when you do, “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow,” you tell him. 

And oddly enough, Raihan believes you. You haven’t given him a reason not to. 

---

He does as he’s told. Raihan goes to work, wearing the jacket as he always does- and things go smoothly. No one knows what happened this morning, because Raihan acts the same as ever. When the day is over and Raihan is back home, he puts the jacket back on it’s same hanger, and the gym clothes back in their same drawer. 

The next morning, he meets you at your apartment again. The hoodie wraps around him like a blanket, providing extra comfort against the chilly morning air. The break in his routine feels strange, but otherwise- not world shattering. You answer the door right away, and the two of you walk back to the diner you had gone to before. 

Once again, in the middle of your meal, you ask him the same question. “Are you feeling better?” 

This time, Raihan didn’t have any fruit on his plate- now it’s bacon, and the pancakes from before is replaced with a sweet chocolate crepe. The bacon crunches just how he likes it when he puts it in his mouth. 

“You know?” Raihan starts, his long legs stretching under the table and bumping against yours as he leans back in his chair. “I think I feel fine.” 

“Things feel a bit better when they’re put in a different context, don’t they?” You hum pleasantly with a smile, chewing on your own meal. “Not as suffocating.”

Ha. He gives you a squinty, wide smile as he shrugs. “Possibly,” he says. 

When Raihan reaches forward to grab his drink, your arm darts out and grabs his. His eyes widen in surprise, and you lift his arm a bit before you let go. “Nearly got chocolate sauce stains. Can’t have that.” You gesture to the plate below him.

He’s never been so careless. 

Raihan grins even bigger than before. “Thanks, mate.” 

His father would never forgive him if he got it stained. Thankfully, though, Raihan has you to help look after it just as much as he does. 

[itsbeenahellofayear]

what we got, it don't come easy

Summary: Some things are easy, some things aren't. It can take time to learn what is important.

Warnings: Smut. Maybe not as much as you'd expect from a story thats pretty much only about sex. Some feelings. Language.

Author's Note: It took a while to get this one across the line. The first segment has been written for weeks, but I lacked inspiration, motivation, and was a little burnt out on anything Leaf related for a little bit there. RIP 2021 season....

Thanks to all of you who kept checking in and were enthusiastic about the little snippet I posted. Kind of kicked my writing into gear today!

I crave your feedback - this is weird and disjointed and very personal in a lot of ways, so I'd love to hear what you think!

---

Sex with Auston is easy - that's never been the issue between you.

This thing started with sex - you connected on tinder, got to talking for a couple of days, then went out for drinks.... That wound up with him in your bed, having arguably the best sex of your life.

That first night, lying hot and sweaty and completely satiated, you'd be lying if the thought didn't cross your mind that you could do this for the rest of your life.

It was that good.

-

You don't keep a list of things to try, but you kind of keep a list of things to try.

-

Some things that make the sex with Auston so good:

He's the first guy to encourage you to use your vibrator on your clit while he's fucking you - it's not every single time - sometimes coordination isn't possible when he's fucking into you so good but those times when he's pressing deep into you, hands on your breasts, grip firm just the way you like, and you've just got your vibe pressed to your clit on a low setting and you just shake apart.... Those are good times.

His dick is huge. Like he's big to start, but then he grows. It honestly took a bit of work to find angles that didn't have him ramming your cervix each time, but once you did... He fills you up so good.

He loves to eat you out. You've had your fair share of mediocre oral, but there's something about the way he just goes for it, lets you twist your fingers in his too long hair, makes these little noises into you, that just really does it for you. He'll open you up with his thumbs and just dive his tongue deep inside of you, then move up and basically caress your clit with his tongue. If you're honest you can't even fathom what he's actually doing, it just feels insane.

He lets you ride his face. Now, it's not an every time thing, mostly because if you're going to expend energy on riding him, really what you want is his cock buried inside your aching slit. But sometimes, he'll settle himself on the bed, and you'll just climb on top of him, grip the headboard, and just ride.

-

You might love him.

(Maybe that's why it's good)

-

So the sex has never been the problem.

The problem lies in the in between bits.

In the moments when you're feeling insecure about his fame, and his looks, and the company he keeps. You're not a party girl - you'll go out to the bar once in a while, but people, everywhere, is not really your scene. You know he likes to go out, especially after wins. You know he likes to drink. And sure, sometimes he'll text you, and he'll end up at your place late at night. But sometimes he won't. And so you wonder.

It's also the moments where he just shuts down, internalizes, and won't communicate. You're not one for talking about your feelings, but you do believe in communicating when it's about things that affect someone else! Case in point: you send him a message in the morning on what you know is his off day - he doesn't even read it let alone respond until 8pm. You had asked him if he wanted to meet up for afternoon drinks.

It's also the moments when he says stupid immature shit, when you realize that, no matter how great a family he comes from, he's still a rich, entitled man-child that doesn't really understand the value of a dollar. And that irks you.

A lot.

-

But.

You're just fooling around - keeping it casual.

But.

-

He takes you out to the cottage with some of his boys. The season ended in heartbreak, they're splitting up for the summer, they want to blow off some steam.

You spend the days lazing by the lake, lying in hammocks in the yard, sneaking off for a "picnic" in the woods. And by picnic you mean Auston laid you out on a blanket and ate you out until you couldn't take it.

You spend the nights getting high sitting out by the fire, leaving unsubtly to go back inside to fuck.

It's probably around day 3 when you realize you're legitimately, 100% in love with this guy.

Day 5 you head back to the city, and haven't really talked to him about how you feel.

He leaves for Arizona the next morning.

-

He's not your boyfriend.

He doesn't know you fell for him.

-

The first night you had sex with him – the first night of the rest of your life – you remember thinking you've never felt this full.

Now, months later, you feel like you're empty.

Anytime you think of him, it's like your pussy just clenches involuntarily around what it thinks should be there, inside of you.

You want him so badly, so deeply, and you don't even have a real claim to him because you couldn't open up and tell him that something had changed.

You catch yourself scrolling insta late at night, looking to see if he's posted something that might hint he's out with someone else.

You hate that you're like this.

-

(You never see anything, for the record)

-

He comes back to Toronto in August.

That honestly catches you by surprise.

More so because you're just home on a Saturday afternoon, watching TV when he knocks on your door. Pretty much the last person you were expecting to see, but you can't deny that your heart ends up in your throat at the sight of him, tanned, bulked up, and looking at you like THAT.

"What..." you start.

"Faith" he breathes out.

You don't understand.

He walks forward into your apartment, crowding you back against the other wall of your tiny entryway.

You're still so caught up in him being here. The way he said your name...

You look up at him.

He just presses himself against you and crushes you to him in a hug. You feel him everywhere. The faint spicy scent of his cologne, the heat of his body, the puff of his breath against your neck where his head is pressing.

Engulfed - your brain provides.

"I missed you" he mutters into your neck.

-

Your brain is going a mile a minute.

How is he here? Why didn't he tell you he was coming back? He doesn't need to be back for weeks. Why is he here? What is happening?

You push him back a little. Not off of you entirely, just enough to give you some space to breathe.

"Auston, what?" You try again.

He looks down at you.

Swallows.

"I..." He starts.

Swallows again.

"I needed to see you, Faith."

He looks... Nervous?

"Aus... What's going on?" You ask him, heart racing out of your chest.

He swears.

"I might be reading this thing wrong, this thing we have, but... I want you to be mine."

You feel like you've been hit with a brick.

All you can do is stare at him as your mind struggles to keep up. You feel yourself reaching for him.

"Aus. Yes. Of course."

He blinks. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You reach for his hand and pull him to the bedroom.

-

Sex is easy, with you and Auston.

You've never been afraid to ask for what you want. He's never been shy to ask for what he wants. And usually that lines up.

But for the first time since all this started, you feel almost shy with him.

Without discussing it, you both get naked pretty damn quickly. There's a second or twenty where you're just looking at him, drinking in his broad shoulders, his stomach muscles, his trim hips and his thick thighs. God, do you want him.

You might say that last part out loud, from the way he laughs and just picks you up and tosses you on the bed.

You've been soaked since you opened your door, and you're impatient to feel him again. He looks at you and you just whimper his name and he smiles, hitches up your legs, and slides slowly, so slowly, inside you

“Fuck, Aus" you hear yourself.

"You feel so good, baby" he groans out, letting you get used to him stretching you out, leaning down to press a filthy open-mouthed kiss to your lips. He bites at your lips as he starts to move, driving into you in a rhythm that makes you feel so good, hitting you just right.

It’s not enough.

But before you can say anything, Auston pulls back, and changes the angle that your hips are lined up with his and suddenly he’s impossibly deeper, and you just can’t breathe with how good he feels and his hands are on your breasts, and he’s pinching your nipples just right, and you are moaning his name almost like a prayer, and it just slips out.

“Aus, I love you.”

You don’t even realize what you said until he stills for a moment, eyes snapping to yours, and he makes this noise.

“Do you mean it,” he asks.

Its not the time for it, but you’re never going to be his open another time so… “Yeah.”

“God, baby. Yes. I love you too. It’s why I came back. I just wasn’t sure…”

He moves back so he can kiss you, deep and filthy. You feel him, deep inside you, and you just… cling to him. He starts fucking into you in earnest - hard and fast, kissing you the whole time, though it ends up being more like just panting into each others mouths but you can’t get enough of him.

“I’m so close,” you manage to get out.

Auston gets a hand between you and presses his thumb to your clit and you just hear yourself keening.

“I love how you feel around me,” he groans out. “Come for me.”

It doesn’t take long.

You shake apart underneath him, and you feel him pulse inside you and it’s just so much and you can feel tears leaking out from the corner of your eyes, and you just feel so much in that moment.

It’s so much.

-

So sex has never been an issue.

But now it is so much more.

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

John Lennon & Eating Disorders - an analysis

“Help me get my feet back on the ground…”

A really interesting topic to me is that John might have suffered from an eating disorder; as someone who does have an ED (or rather multiple ED’s) I feel like I could give a potentially insightful take on all this, so heres just my thoughts on the topic:

In my honest opinion, I don’t think (or perhaps rather, I don’t know) that John struggled with a full blown ED - as in, to the point that he would meet the criteria for a diagnosis. But I do think its pretty well evidenced that he at the very least struggled with having and maintaining a healthy relationship with food, as well as suffering from poor body image and insecurity regarding his weight. Perhaps that is enough to constitute an ED; I wouldn’t want to gate keep the diagnosis here - and its a thin line between disordered eating and an actual ED.

I wouldn’t be surprised if it was unequivocally confirmed that he did in fact struggle with bulimia, as has been suggested by some (X) because it would be fitting with the rest of his personality, which tended to be tumultuous and insecure. But at the same time, that assertion appears only to be a rumour. I think really that its too difficult to say for certain whether John did struggle with an ED, because ED’s are already difficult enough to spot as it is, even amongst your closest friends and family. Whilst there are certain behaviours and signs to look out for, its still a difficult thing to pinpoint really; anorexia can be relatively easy to spot, because the signs tend to be more apparent: skipping meals, noticeable weight loss etc. but if were going by what appears to be the most common belief - that John had bulimia - then I feel that that’s something especially difficult to spot. Bulimics tend to be of a regular weight, so there aren’t so many outward indications of the ED; and in addition to this, it’s relatively easy to hide bulimia, because many people with purging disorders might still eat 3 full meals throughout the day, therefore appearing to eat a balanced diet.

But we can also see some indications of ED behaviours throughout Johns lifetime - for instance, his weight did fluctuate to a degree that feels questionable, especially given that he has no reputation for having ever really exercised - and so it appears that this weight loss would have been due primarily to his food intake. These fluctuations occurred often within a concerningly short span of time - and whilst this could be drilled down to his LSD usage, it neglects the evidence we have that John was in fact concerned about his physical appearance and weight. And whilst in later years his heroin addiction did cause him to lose weight, thats only a relevant detail to Johns weight after 1968, when he started abusing the drug. Its been documented that he was insecure about his body image, seemingly starting around 1965-ish, when he wrote ‘Help!’. In a 1980 interview, he would later recall:

"When ‘Help!’ came out, I was actually crying out for help…I didn't realize it at the time…But later, I knew I was really crying out for help. So it was my fat Elvis period. You see in the movie: He — I — is very fat, very insecure, and he's completely lost himself. And I am singing about when I was so much younger and all the rest, looking back at how easy it was…It was my Fat Elvis period. I was eating and drinking like a pig. I was depressed and I was crying out for help. It's real. And I meant it."

The concerning thing about this quote is that John’s weight gain really wasn’t that significant [see photos below] I think he developed a problem with binging* after he got famous, but I don’t think he really recognised food as being an issue at this stage because he was probably just excited about indulging in all the privileges wealth and fame had brought him. Moderation probably just wasn’t something that had occurred to him at that stage; and arguably we can see evidence that he lacked impulse control even before the fame (eg. When Julia died, John binge drank for months). Its only after a reporter referred to him as “the fat Beatle” that he appeared to really become aware of any weight gain, and id think that this was maybe because he probably just found some comfort in food once he became famous. The excitement around wealth and fame was one thing, but also he’d been put into this position of immense pressure under the social eye, and his life had quite rapidly become both chaotic and refined.

(*He wasn’t just binge eating, but really overindulging in everything, whether that be food, sex, drinks, drugs etc.)

(A photographic comparison I found on Reddit of Johns weight loss within the span of about 3 months. Of course, the stark difference in appearance could be due mostly just to differences in angles and lighting etc. but in comparing photos of him from any position during this period of time, we can still see a shift.)

Another point to consider it that these are only the ED behaviours that he made apparent; they don’t account for the potential ED behaviours he might have concealed from both the public, and even his own intimates. But then again, thats only speculation - whilst I suspect that his eating habits might have looked more disordered on a day-by-day basis, I don’t know, and so I can’t prove anything.

And so I have to wonder what might have sparked an ED/disordered eating in John. The ubiquitous saying is that “its about control”, and whilst to a large degree ED’s are about control, from my own experience theres a lot more to the mentality than just that - and so I don’t want to just point to the beatlemania and public image as the sole source for the poor relationship with food. It must have been a huge influence on him, because being in the public eye that way would shift a person’s perception of their own body image. But I think he’d always been a deeply self-conscious and insecure person, and this probably just manifested into a loathing of his physical appearance (in fact, I think John had always been insecure about certain aspects of his physical appearance even prior to fame, such as his nose). I think the pressures of fame, as well as the shaming he received from certain journalists, clearly prompted him to develop a deep insecurity about his weight - but the foundations for an ED already appeared to ingrained in him from an early age.

It appears that from 1965 onwards, John would associate binge eating with a lack of control, and therefore a lack of self-worth. Allegedly Harry Nilsson is quoted as saying:

“John and I were having a heart-to-heart, then all of a sudden John went off about how powerful men had ravenous appetites and wanted to swallow the world whole. And he thought that was why he had this horrible problem – being hungry all the time and overeating…He said he often fantasised about large quantities of "forbidden" foods. He said food was "sacred" to him and it frightened him. He saw it as "a great weakness" and he referred to it as "a lack of discipline".”

Concerning Yoko’s denial of the ED allegations however, im not sure what to make of that. On the one hand, she probably had the closest insight into what John’s eating habits looked like on a regular basis, and so if she says she never saw any signs that John had an ED, then I think that is worth noting. It could also be that he just concealed the symptoms well, or (and this is more probable in my opinion) if he did have an ED, it probably was EDNOS, which could be difficult to spot.

Then again though, if Yoko were to admit to John having had an ED/disordered eating, that would damper her own reputation, because we know that she hugely influenced his eating habits and diets. But in addition to this, she might truly not have recognised Johns eating habits as being disordered - for instance, she told the The Mirror (x) “John did not have an eating disorder…sometimes he slipped and ate a bar of chocolate.” Perhaps im looking too much into that quote, but this whole mentality of “slipping up” after eating a bit of chocolate seems disordered to me. Eating foods like chocolate in moderation shouldn’t feel like a failure, and especially if theres no real need for you to be on a diet (of which was true for John because he was never overweight, and certainly not to a degree that would be detrimental to his health), it shouldn’t feel like “slipping up”.

So overall, what I make of the claim that John had an ED is this:

I don’t feel as though we have sufficient evidence to make the claim that “John suffered from bulimia”. Its been evidenced that he struggled with his body image, specifically regarding his weight - and the ways in which he both gained and lost this weight feels questionable to me, and are certainly worth examining - but I can’t see any hard evidence that he struggled with a purging disorder specifically.

If I was going to hazard a guess at the ED diagnosis that seemed the most fitting for John, id actually argue EDNOS (or Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified), because it feels as though Johns eating habits didn’t fit strictly within the confines of any other diagnosis, such as anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder. But id have to see what Johns diet looked like on a more regular basis to really confirm that diagnosis - so its really only my own speculation. But I just wanted to give my take on this discussion, because id just read a lot of people saying stuff like “John had bulimia”, and I wanted to really examine and analyse the truth to that claim. If you have any thoughts on this, feel free to add to the discussion - this was just my take.

[bonny-kookoo]

Soulmates (JJK x Reader) ☁️🔞💜

✨ Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

✨ Genre: Angst, Breakup AU, Idol AU, Smut, fluff/romance

✨ Warnings: Breakup, crying kookie because that needs to be a warning, arguing, shouting, some mean things being said, safe sex because we wrap it up even if we’re sad friends, vanilla sex, it’s just basic lovemaking y’all what do you think this is, hopeless romantic Jungkook, jk is super bad expressing his feelings and kinda petty

✨ Summary: Jungkook always told you that you were his soulmate. But sometimes, soulmates aren’t meant to be, are they?

Jungkook had a nasty habit.

And it was that every time he thought he was right, he became selfish. And no, not in any cute kind of way. He would start to chase his own tail in a sense; completely blocking out any kind of other opinion than his on a topic. It lead to the shouting match you both had now; his voice considerably louder than usual, a whine to his tone that in no way was intended to be charming. No, the way he drawled out certain syllables was to only further make sure you knew how upset he was.

"What do you want me to do!" He yelled, looking at you with a gaze that you knew could easily guilt-trip you into giving in. But this time he needed to be an adult, you needed him to understand your side of the situation as well. "I can't just make everything disappear and make everyone forget my face." His eyes were still hard. "They'll figure it out anyways, I don't get why we have to hide it anyways!" He groans out, as you sigh, a headache incoming.

"Because it would be the end, Jungkook." You argue back, voice however in no way as loud and stern as his was. "I'm not telling you that you have to be an actor onstage, but I'm asking you to leave our problems and arguments Off-Stage Jungkook. Everyone on twitter got concerned why you were so serious during your stage!" You said. Because this had been the main issue at hand. He have had a concert just a few hours ago, but you weren't able to attend it. The reason had been that some staff members forgot to pick you up from the airport due to some problems that had come up last minute. You had been understanding, simply ending up taking a cab to yours and his shared apartment, watching his performance via livestream instead. He'd sounded upset over the phone, frustrated even, yet you had tried to reassure him that it wouldn't be his last- you would always be there the next. What did upset you however, was how he had been openly upset onstage about it. He seemed agitated, serious, and not his usual self, which had lead to not only his bandmates scolding him, but also you. You had simply asked him to remember that fans couldn't know what happened away from the cameras. They didn't know, and they had no hand in it either- he was being unfair by punishing them with his behavior. But his habit of growing hostile when critic got too personal blasted everything out of proportion, now ending in the situation you had in his kitchen.

"Well, I'm not gonna go up there and be all happy while I don't even know if you're safe!" He barks back. "You're just as important to me as the band, as my job, can't you appreciate that?" He whines, and your eyes become even more upset.

"Jungkook, I do appreciate it, but it's also what I'm scared of." You say, and he furrows his brows. "You can't do this Jungkook, please. I told you I can wait, I'll wait forever, but this is a limited time. I want you to enjoy it fully, without responsibilities, because they'll be there soon enough. I want you to be with your band 100%." You say, and he suddenly grows quiet.

"You sound like you're breaking up with me right now." He wonders across from you, his voice now eerily low and considerably less loud and angry. You can't look at him.

"I don't know if I should." You answer him, and his eyes suddenly widen a bit, glistening as the tip of his nose turns red. He's close to crying, you know it. But you have to do what's best.

"Don't." He says, hands balling into fists before he nervously wipes them down his sweatpants, suddenly on edge. He's always like this whenever he's unsure of what he's supposed to do. It's quite endearing, if it wasn't because of such a matter. "You- We'll find a solution, I shouldn't have, you know, gotten so upset-" He starts, but you shake your head.

"Please, let's just.. not." You mumble, and you still can't look up at him. "I'll uhm.. I'll sleep on the couch, okay? I try and be gone tomorrow morning." You say, and only now do you move, trying to get out of the kitchen, as he suddenly embraces you from behind, his large body shaking as he struggles to form a coherent sentence through his tears.

"No no I didn't mean it-" He apologizes, even though there is nothing there to say sorry for. "I'll be better, I'm sorry, I won't do it again-" He chokes out, but you hesitantly grab his hands, trying to unravel his arms around you. He holds on tight, like a toddler not wanting his mother to go and leave him alone. It somehow feels just as heartbreaking to you. "Don't go, I'm not letting you, please stay.." He begs, and it reminds you of a tamper tantrum your friends kid held in a store a few weeks back.

"Jungkook please, don't.. don't make it so hard." You say, trying to be brave but ultimately failing as you have to swallow hard to keep your own feelings locked. At least until you're alone. You finally manage to get out of his hold, as he stands before you, eyes red and cheeks wet with his tears as his bottom lip trembles visibly.

"Are- you serious?" He asks, voice higher in pitch as he struggles to keep it steady. "You'll leave me alone like that?" He almost accusingly says, and you sniffle.

"You're not alone Jungkook, you're never alone. You shouldn't even be here, you should be sleeping at the dorms like you used to. I'm just pulling you away from the band, and its not fair! I have no rights to do it, I'm being selfish, I'm now interfering with your work as well, Jungkook, don't tell me you're this blind." You say, as he looks at the floor, caught red handed.

Jungkook dries his nose on his sweater sleeve as he swallows. "I'll.. go and sleep at the dorms then. You uhm.. can take the bed." He mumbles, as you nod, even though you probably won't be able to. "Are you.. will you.." He starts, and you nod with a sad smile.

"My promise still stands." You say. "If you'll still want me then, I'll wait until this dream is over." You say. He nods, biting his lip as he grows unsure again. He doesn't know what to do, if he should hug you, or not, kiss you, or not, hell he doesn't even know if he can look at you now. So he simply nods again, shuffling away as you stay put, listening to him putting his shoes on, as the door shuts after he leaves.

Only then does it hit you.

And only then, do you let yourself cry, sob as you scream and fall to the ground, letting it out.

As he sits in the living room he once felt so familiar in, he notices how alienated he feels. It's awkward as Jimin and Suga look at him, unsure what they should say. Only now does Namjoon come into the room, surprised to see the youngest. "What's going on?" He asks, and Taehyung gives a bottle of water to Jungkook, as the youngest mumbles his answer.

"We broke up." He says, and everyone seems to grow sad at it. They really liked you, even though everyone had been wary at first; you had proven to them however, that you were genuinely in love with Jeon Jungkook, and not only the Jungkook of BTS that made headlines if he only did as much as sneeze in public. His money didn't matter to you and neither did his fame- yet they had all feared this outcome. "She said uhm.. she doesn't want to interfere with my work so.."

Suga nods at this, and sighs. "Mature choice." He says. "Shows she cares about you." He concludes, as Jimin seems to want to argue. Jungkook shrugs. "But I think a lot of it came from you." He speaks, as he looks at the youngest, who furrows his brows. "Think about it. It was your choice to spend your time at your private apartment rather than here so you could be with her. You get upset when she doesn't text you, and fuss over her if she gets hurt." He explains, as Jungkook suddenly feels as if he's being scolded again, huffing as he slids into the couch with frustration. "But that's who you are; you invest yourself 100% if you find something that makes you happy." Yoongi puts his phone away.

"That's totally helping, hyung." He grumbles out, as Jimin throws one leg over the other.

"I think what he's trying to say is that you have to find a good balance." Hoseok says as he sits down as well. "You always give it your all, and thats great, but it wont work long-term. Split your time equally, make space for a piece of everything instead of trying to carry it all at once." Jungkook sighs, as he feels his eyes sting again.

"Well, doesn't matter anyways." He huffs out, as his voice chokes up again. "Guess at least PD-Nim will be happy." He grits out before he begins to cry again, everyone at loss on how to comfort the youngest of the group.

Jimin chimed in at that, gently scolding the youngest. "Now thats unfair." He says. "He's not gonna be happy over you being upset Jungkookie." He scolds, and Jungkook looks down at his hands in his lap.

He knows hes being petty and childish right now. He knows things like these happen. He knows that you love him, and that you're probably just as upset as he was.

But he was heartbroken as well.

And he hates it.

It takes him a while to figure it out.

It takes him to break down during a concert in front of thousands as he realizes its the first ever since your breakup; as he remembers that no, this time he won't go home to his own apartment but he'll share a room again. He won't be rubbing his sweaty hair teasingly on your neck to hear you laugh and yell at him to stop. He won't be getting to hold you through the night after he'd made sure you both felt close and satisfied before he'd fall asleep with you.

It takes for him to cover a heartfelt song with your name on the tip of his tongue, making fans fawn over the emotional tune in his voice as he let's go of his pent up feelings through the only thing he knows he's good at; music.

But he eventually figures it out.

BTS is granted a small hiatus, a moment to breathe, as he immediately knows what he wants to do with the time he'd been gifted. He visits his parents, tells them about you and his plans, and feels even more motivated as he finally returns home into his private apartment, previously owned by him and you. He wonders how many nights you'd fallen asleep in front of the TV waiting for his live concerts to be shown. He sits down, grabbing his phone, as he calls your number, secretly wondering if you've changed it.

You didn't.

Nothing is being said at first, until he speaks. "Hey."

"Hey." You answer, unsure.

"I've made time now." He says, and you sigh on the other side of the line, saying his name as you're ready to argue, before he stops you. "No no no not like that, aish.." He runs a hand over his face, hair longer now as he thinks about what to say next. "Long term. I.. Yoongi-hyung said that I'm merely growing up, and that that includes changing, but-" He starts, and his voice is a bit raspy from slight overuse from recording another cover earlier that day. "I wanna grow up with you, not away from you. I wanna change, but I want to change right next to you I-" He stutters a bit as he grows nervous. "I don't want to wait until this dream ends Y/N.." He says, throat closing up as he thinks about how you maybe changed your mind. He can't give up like this, though. "I want to live this dream with you." He finishes, and its quiet for a moment. Until he hears you sniffling.

"You're stupid." You say, and start to laugh as he does too.

"Where are you right now?" He asks, and you sniffle again before you can answer.

"Crying at Hangang bridge, what about you?" You chuckle, and he smiles at no one in particular.

"Can you.. Can I pick you up?" He wonders, picking at the ends of his sweatpants' strings. You agree, and he gets up immediately, grabbing his jacket, a mask, and his cap as a disguise.

The door hits the wall with a loud noise, making Jungkook hiss a bit as he's a bit startled by the noise, before he simply resumes in kissing you feverishly, not caring much about any damage might done as he closes it shut behind him. He slips out of his shoes and picks you up with ease after you've discarded yours as well, stumbling a bit with you in his arms as he laughs on the way into his bedroom, your arms safely around his neck in fear he could drop you.

He'd never.

He makes sure your back meets the mattress softly as you both shuffle out of your jackets, his cap meeting the floor somewhere as he unhooks the mask from behind his ears, the fabric having been moved to rest under his chin anyways, simply to be able to kiss you silly. He shrugs off his coat as his hands help you to throw your shirt over your head, his body crawling over yours as his hands move over your skin. He's in heaven, absolutely insane for your touch as your cold hands slip under his oversized carhartt shirt. He wonders for a moment how he could ever make it work without you, without your presence, your touch, your love and care for him. He's happy he doesn't have to, glad he was able to pull you back towards him, as he leaves open mouthed kisses along your neck, carefully cupping your breasts until he unhooks your bra, helping you discard the piece of underwear before he places a few kisses on their bare skin as well, relishing in the feeling of them, warm and soft in his palms.

"I love you so much." He mumbles onto your skin as if to tattoo the words underneath it, to keep them safe inside your flesh never to be forgotten by you.

"I love you more." You humm against his lips as his meet yours, his grin making his eyes crinkle at the sides as he helps you get him and you out of the rest of your clothes. He moves away for a moment to get a condom, before he jumps back on the bed in a manner that's almost too childish considering what you're about to do, but somehow it's so undeniably Jungkook that you simply laugh, closing your eyes as your head falls into the wrinkled bedsheets below.

"Impossible." He answers a little late, as he slips on the safety over his length, kissing you again as he carefully slips inside you, breathing out a sigh of relief at the feeling of your warmth around him. "You feel like home." He humms out, a rough grunt escaping him as he begins to move his hips, years of dancing experience making it easy for him to find a rhythm perfect for you both. You still smile.

"You're so cheesy." You huff out, as you look at him, his hair falling downwards as your hand instinctively reaches for the back of his head, pulling him onto your lips again, hooked on his taste as he needily bites your lower lip, sucessfully opening your lips to grant him access. A younger, more innocent version of him would've thought of this sloppy and intimate way of kissing as weird and maybe even gross, but his current version couldn't care less. He'd do anything to feel close to you.

So he doesn't care that your juices make your bodies slippery, that his sweat starts to collect on his temples, or that the sheets underneath you two would probably have to be washed. It doesn't matter, because he's with you, he's holding you' he's inside you- nothing could make him stop now.

When he reaches his climax, spiling into the condom inside you, he reaches between you two, inked hand finding your most sensitive spot as he eagerly moves his fingers over it, making your whine and whimper as you come undone as well, clenching around his sensitive cock as he breathes heavily, letting his head rest on your shoulder as you both take a moment to collect yourselves.

He laughs after a moment, slipping out of you with a slight hiss at the sensitivity, before he heavily rolls onto his side, taking a deep breath before he groggily heaves himself into a sitting position, discarding the condom before he flicks on the bathroom light with a click, the sound of gushing water soon filling the apartment as he filled the bathtub with warm water, carefully opening a drawer where some of the bathsalts and soaps were kept, before he puts some in, gentle smell meeting his nose as he smiles softly. He tucks some of his hair behind his ear as he steps back into the bedroom, corners of his mouth still turned upwards as he spots you still laid out on his bed. "Come on, let's take a bath, yeah?" He humms, as you smile sleepily, letting him carry you into the bathroom where he sits you down in the tub, returning into the room after he'd put the sheets into the hamper in the bathroom, and put new ones onto the bed, ready for when you both would return.

He steps into the tub, sitting behind you as he leans back against the cold tiles, you in his arms as he sighs. "I mean it, you know." He says as takes the loofah from the side, gently moving it over your arms as he carefully cleans your skin. "I'll balance it out better. I promise-" He says, as he moves your hair away from your neck over your shoulder, kissing the top of your other. "I'll be better. I promise." He concludes, before you move, turning around as you return his soft gesture, moving the soapy sponge over his skin as well as he watches you with fond eyes.

"Okay." You say, and almost laugh as his eyes widen, brows shooting up into his hair as he grins, moving forwards to hug you tight, uncaring for a moment that the water slightly spills off the sides, making him look at it in surprise for a second, before you both laugh as he lathers your face in sloppy kisses.

"Thank you!" He repeats. "Thank you- thank you- You won't regret it, I'll be good, promise!" He says, and you smile at him.

You know he's gonna keep his promise.

You're happily chewing on your snack Jungkook had bought you earlier, as your head rests on the crook of his neck, your legs thrown over his lap as you sit on his thigh, his hands clicking the mouse and typing on the keyboard as he adjusts some stuff. He'd invited you to spend some time with him at the studio, only if you wanted to of course, and he did tell you it would probably be boring. You disagreed, even now- sure, you weren't doing anything, but it was interesting to see him produce songs. He clicks to save his project, before he shuts down his computer, leaning back in his chair as he groans, head falling backwards. "Done?" You ask, and he shakes his head.

"Not quite, but I shouldn't be working anyways." He says, as he pulls his phone out of his jean pocket, checking something before he playfully slaps the side of your bottom. "Alright, up up, we have a camper van to pick up and some bags to carry love." He exclaims, and you smile. He'd decided after a bit of brainstorming to take you on a small trip to jeju Island, having managed to get in contact with some people to be granted access to a more private campsite, so he could spend his small trip as safe as possible with you. He'd post any picture of the scenery and him later, after the trip- he knew how easily his fans could pin point where he was from past experience.

As he locks the door of his studio, he walks down the hallway with your hand in his, mindlessly, as if it's second nature for him to hold it anywhere he goes with you. Its charming, how he doesn't even notice he's doing it anymore.

He even opens the car door for you while he talks, again not noticing it at all as he simply continues what he's doing, driving you both to your now officially shared apartment. He'd had a talk with his bandmates about him and the dorm life- and they had all agreed that it was okay if he wanted to move in with you. As long as he'd spend enough time with them to not end up growing apart again, they were fine with it. After all, he was growing up, and that also meant for him to grow more independent.

He put the bags into the back of his car, a rented Palisade, as he drove you both to the airport, the plane you both board taking you to Jeju in a mere hour. A cab takes you two to the rental service where the campervan was already waiting for you two. He smiles as he moves everything into the van, thanking the guy providing some explanations on how things work, before he sits in the drivers' seat, you climbing in beside him on the passenger seat. He grins for a moment before he turns on the engine, driving off as you smile as well.

You don't know how the future is gonna go for the two of you. You're sure this wasn't the last hurdle you would be facing, but you're more sure than ever that you would manage it somehow. You'll make it work. You know that.

Because at the end of the day, you're still his soulmate. And they'll always find a way to be together.

Thank you for reading everyone, and please stay safe and healthy!

Love, Bonny. (C)2020 Bonny-Kookoo. Please do not repost, translate, or edit my content. Thank you very much.

[annavysoul]

I can confirm, they introduced themselves as 3 readers and they made a post how Bee is leaving and starting their own channel. They even made a post to support it and linked the blog, that's how I knew of the Bee drama. But yknow whatever. But they shouldn't demonize those poor future apouses lmao, it's not gonna be them, or any of us.

Warning very long, I got carried away my bad lol

But the drama on tumblr is kinda mild conpared to Youtube "readers". At least the readers here on tumblr try to hide the fact, that they're describing themselves very well but yoooooooo.... Youtube readers are a different breed. Most of them are super young (12-13, but there are a handful of readers old enough to fucking know better) and just straight up describe themselves with no shame. I even found some who put pics of themselves lmao. Me and my friends like to go through readings and bet, who is describing themselves as a spouse. There is one reader who has over 30+ vids on Mrs. J, and most readings are like over 20 mins long. How much is there to know about a person, that doesn't exist yet??? But most YT readers are obssessed with the fact, that Mrs. J is from India, what a coincidence that the reader is also from India lmao. I'm not saying BTS wouldn't ever date someone from that country, I'm saying it's impossible to get a specific country, age, height, religion etc from tarot cards. The pics on the cards might give you clues and the cards can say that the person is different from you, but they go into way too much detail. And it's funny because they're always soooo specific for Jungkook and V, but for the other ones....crickets🦗 On one hand it's so sad bc you have these little girls, putting out their private info, looks and secrets for the whole world to see (these vids have thousands of views) and they don't really grasp the consequences of their actions bc yknow, their just children. The internet never forgets. But on the other hand, you have these grown women who, like I said, should know better than these little girls. Not only do they get so defensive if you don't 100% allign with what they said, they are borderline so obsessed of the idea of being a spouse. Like tf??? Bts aren't Gods. They're very attractive celebs, who's purpose is to entertain people with their contents and music (hence the word idol & entertainer), while they do feed into that perfect bf material scheme, it's up to the fan to not actually develop real romantic feelings (a celeb crush and being a stan is something very different). Most are actually fans for very superficial reasons, they just find them attractive, not the music. And if you take the glitz and glamour of fame and money away, Bts are regular human beings, with flaws and issues. Like. The. Rest. Of. Us. They only show you the best side of them, because it's part of the whole idol package. We truly do not know these people, no matter how sincere or authentic they appear on camera. Like so so many were suprised that they wanted to disband a few years ago, bc they couldn't handle the pressure. These readers always believe if they meet/marry them, their life is going to be better and they feel alive again or smth. Most of these readers actually need therapy, I don't mean that in a condescending way. They imagine that their spouse, a celeb they've never met, will be their sole reason for their happiness and only then they are able to fix their issues and unhappiness. That reeks of co-dependency. And even if they'd become couple and be public, then what? A really big big chunk of Armys are actually in love with Bts, no matter if they even know tarot or not (Armys usually claim that only 2% of the fandom are delulus but that's definetly not true🥴). You'd get send d*eath threats, be harrassed, get doxxed, be hated for all eternity, even if you'd decided to break up. Look what happend with Jk and the tattoo artist he only hugged. She lost her job bc Armys were reporting her, some were trashing her workplace, she got threats, her friends got harassed and doxxed and she lost a friend (Jk). Not only that, but people would legit stalk you and try to hurt you, if you were a romatic partner of Bts. Then you also have the tarot side, who'd try to curse youa nd paint you as the evil demon, who is toxic to member xyz. And I don't think you'd want to spend your entire life locked in your house. And I personally could never deal with like millions of haters, no matter how hot my partner is.

Yoooo! i search again in yt and watch a couple of videos... these are kids for go sake🥺🥺 where are their parents and why they let them public private infoooo?!? internet and children isnt the best combination...

and yess, theres also grown up women and thats really creepy, u can understand that children might do that cause they are young, BUT WHEN U ARE OLD ENOUGH, U SHOULD ACT BETTER!! and i insist, they just trying to prove to themselves and to the world that they are worth it to be with a celebrity, like yeah of course u are worthy, like any of us, but this is not the way u know? its weird, i dont think its sane at all, they just are using the cards to feel better, and thats bs. and if it is just a cope mecanism, plz work on yourself, get help, life its better when u are in a healthy place

also its interesting about mrs being from india and most of all the videos i watch where from indian armys, tarot doesnt work like that, yeah u can feel the energy that its different, perhaps different culture and think that maybe it could be a foreing, but the cards will never tell you something that specific, less if u dont even know in person the people you are reading for

we dont know them at all, and people put them in a such high pedestal just for being famous and hot, so i really have trouble to think that some tarot readers can pick their real energy, im a very intuitive person, but i need to be in the presence of the person to feel their real energy, so to be so specific in a reading they need to energise the cards with the energy of the person, they need to at least shuffle the cards and connect with the reader, sooo thats why i only see these reads as enterteiment, and its bad for the community to claim that we can see ALL of about them.

i'll never forgive the people who threaten the tattoo artist, poor girl, and thats why the guys cant have healthiest relationship, let them have a LIFE

[arcwhore]

Daddy Issues

((gif credits to @rudypankows ))

[rafe cameron] x [reader]

request: nope

word count: 2.5k+

description: rafe has gone to a big kook party to get away from his dad when he meets the reader, unbeknownst that she was doing the same thing.

warnings: smut, dd/lg, choking, slapping, age play, hair pulling, creampie, pretty much just filth

song: daddy issues by the neighborhood

rafe cameron had issues. who doesn’t? but he was almost 20, still living with his parents, fueling himself with coke and redbull. he never felt like anything he did was enough to make his father realize that he just wanted to be loved. 

he’d spent his whole life obsessing over how to be successful in his father’s eyes. he’d offer to do something, but then when he screwed up, he got yelled at, only making him feel worse. he just wanted his father to take his eyes off his sister for a while and just give him attention. in some ways, he hated his sister for that, telling himself that it was her fault that he felt like this. he never leaned back and took into account that it might be his own fault.

take you like a drug

he tapped the card on the table, forming a line with the white substance. the music boomed through the house, frames shaking on the walls. strobe lights danced around the room, shining on his face. his eyes crossed and his body numbed with the effect, taking in the feeling of complete ecstasy. this was the one party that he came to with no distractions. he had no friends around him trying to tell him to sober up, no parents to yell at him, no sister to make fun of him. he felt light, like the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders with every line. 

i taste you on my tongue

he felt the couch dip beside him, looking over and seeing a girl. she was one of the only girls that he’s ever seen here that actually grabbed his attention. her hair glimmered with every passing light, her skin glowing with excitement. 

“you mind if i take a line?” she asked. rafe would normally decline the offer unless they were giving him money, but he was so entranced with her that he just nodded his head. her small hands grabbed the card from him, leaning down to sift the powder. he stared at her the whole time, loving the way her back arched when she bent down, the way her boobs hung under her. 

you ask me what i’m thinking about

i’ll tell you that i’m thinking about

whatever you’re thinking about

she snorted the whole line, wiping her nose clean, and handing the card back to him. she gave him a faint smile, her body lifting up from the couch and walking away with a simple ‘thank you’. he watched her hips move as she walked to the kitchen, swerving through people to grab a drink. rafe watched what she poured, straight vodka, and he scoffed. 

the girl downed it all in one go, heading back to where her friends were, dancing and grinding on each other. god, he wanted so bad for her to be grinding on him like that, wanted her eyes to close and just give in to him completely. in a split decision, he got up and walked towards her, grabbing her hand. he ignored the greetings from others, only focused on the gorgeous girl that captivated him. she looked up at him with doe eyes, spinning around and pressing her ass against his crotch. 

tell me something that i forget 

but you might have to tell me again

it’s crazy what you do for fame

“my name’s y/n, by the way,” she whispered in his ear. rafe hummed, her name ringing in his ears like music. 

“‘m rafe,” he replied, his hands grasping at her hips. he traced up her stomach, the tight dress she was wearing clinging to her curves so perfectly. his hands reached her breasts, and they were basically dry humping each other. blood rushed to his dick and it hardened against her. she giggled, spinning around on her tiptoes.

“you wanna go find a room?” she whispered in his ear, and he immediately perked up. he nodded and her hand grasped his, dragging him up the stairs. her hands twisted the knobs with urgency. every single one was locked as they worked their way down the hallway. they reached the end, the final door opening up for them. 

they scrambled in and rafe pushed the girl against the door. his lips captured hers, a leg slipping around his waist. her dress was riding up, exposing her lacy thongs. he let his lips travel down to her neck as he grinded into her. she let out a light moan at the contact, jerking up to meet rafe’s hips. he sucked a harsh hickey into her neck, the inhumane sounds coming from the girl only fueling his desire. 

go ahead and cry little girl

nobody does it like you do

i know how much it matters to you

“fuck, daddy,” she groaned. her head lulled back and hit the door, the nickname making rafe growl. he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist completely. he walked back to the bed that sat on the other side of the room.

“you need a daddy, huh, baby?” he asked her. the girl, now beneath him on the bed, whined. he wrapped his big hand around her throat, so tight that it could snap. her hand flew up to grab his forearm, arching her back up into him. “beg for it, baby girl. come on, beg me like the little slut you are.”

i know that you got daddy issues.

“please, rafe,” she squealed out, his hand making it hard to breath. she loved the way he controlled her, how he got her to do anything with just a few words. she felt a hand slap against her face, a sting following suit. 

“not my name, little one,” he looked into her eyes, and she could see the fire burning inside them. she knew that he wanted exactly what she wanted, that he wanted to treat her how she so desperately craved. her mouth opened in a silent moan.

“daddy, i want you. fuck me, use me, hit me. i promise i’ll be good for you,” she begged the blonde. his hair had fallen on his red face, and his eyes were darker than she’d ever seen.

“fuck, thats a good girl,” rafe let go of her neck, admiring the way she gasped for air. his hands grasped at the bottom of her dress, pulling it up over her head. he worked at his own shirt buttons, her hands twisting around her back and unhooking her bra. she gaped at his toned stomach, hands going to caress the muscles that flexed under her touch. 

and if you were my little girl

i’d do whatever i could do

i’d run away and hide with you

his calloused hands grabbed her boobs, pulling her nipples in between his fingers. he relished in the sounds she made, his mouth finding it’s way down to the swollen buds. he gave harsh sucks around them, tongue flicking up and down on her skin. he bit down, earning a loud moan from the girl. her hands had come up to his hair, tugging him back up to kiss her. 

their tongues danced in each other’s mouths, exploring all of each other. their hands were placed on the most intimate areas of their bodies. neither of them had been with anyone in so long and they were so sensitive under each others graze. 

he moved down once again, kissing down her stomach, biting when he reached her underwear. he grabbed them in between his teeth, pulling them down her thighs. she giggled at the gesture, her head throwing itself back when his breath hit her cunt. her hips jolted up, trying to gain some kind of friction. 

“you want my tongue, babe?” he asked her, kissing along her inner thighs, nearly avoiding her pussy every time. 

“yes, daddy, i want it so bad,” she moaned out, her body completely handing itself over to him. his kisses moved to the hood of her cunt, kitten licking when he reached her slit. she let out a breathy moan, bucking up into his face. “be still or you get nothing.”

her mind reeled with the explicit mental photos she was taking of him. the way his eyes looked up at her when he kissed her clit, sucking it ever so lightly. the way his tongue moved, dipping in and out of her folds. the way his hair fell in front of his face...

her hands wove into his hair, his fingers dipping in and out, gathering her arousal. he let one finger slip into her, teasing her. he moved it slowly, his mouth still covering her clit. “please- oh my god, it feels so good!”

“you taste so sweet baby girl. i could eat you out until you shake.” rafe teased.

“please, i want more. i want you.” she moaned out, hoping that he would give her what she wanted with a little bit of motivation. his face came up from between her legs and he let his finger slip out of her. he ran his hand up her body, to her throat. he squeezed hard, watching the girl fall apart beneath him. a shock wave of heat struck her, her cunt clenching on the air.

“please what baby?” he asked her, slipping a finger into her mouth. she sucked on it, swirling her tongue around his fingertip. “tell me.”

“please, daddy.” she begged when his finger slid out of her mouth with a pop.

“good girl,” he praised. he pulled his pants down to his ankles with his free hand and she saw the harsh tent in his boxers, straining to be let loose. a patch of pre-cum had already formed and she smiled when she saw the effect that she had on him. she reached down to cup his cock through his boxers and rafe’s head tilted back with a moan. his hand left her neck. “shit, look what you do to me, baby.”

she giggled, hooking her fingers in the waistband and pulling them all the way down. her breathed hitched when his dick sprung free, hitting his stomach. he was big, bigger than anyone she’d ever been with. and he was thick, her hand could barely close around him. when she looked up at him, she saw the smirk on his face. he knew what he was doing, and he knew he was going to give it to her good.

“turn around, ass up,” he demanded. she let go, flipping herself over on the bed and arching her back. rafe slapped her ass multiple times, every one getting harder. she groaned every time his palm hit her skin. “so fucking sexy baby.”

she buried her face into the pillows, waiting patiently for him to fuck her. his hand grabbed her hair and pulled her face up. “don’t hide from me, princess. i want to hear how good i’m making you feel.”

with that statement, he grasped his dick, sliding it through her wetness. he forcefully thrusted into her without warning, stretching her pussy wide. “oh fuck!”

his skin slapped harshly against hers, the sound of her wet cunt echoing through the room. “goddamn sweetheart, you’re so tight.”

she was a whimpering mess beneath him. his hands wound around to her front, his hands going on each side of her face. his fingers held her mouth open, allowing all of her moans to flow out. he groaned when she clenched around his cock, fucking up into her. her right hand reached behind her, grabbing his head to pull him towards her while her left scratched against the sheets.

“mmm, you like the way i fuck you?” he groaned into her ear. her head shook rapidly, trying to let him know how much she enjoyed the way he made her feel. he let go of her face and moved to her hair, pulling her head back to look her in the eyes. his eyes were hooded and dark with lust, the light blue orbs now tinted.

“yes, daddy, i love way you fuck me! fuck, harder, please.” he pulled out and flipped her over and she whined at the sudden loss of contact. he lifted her legs over his shoulders, hugging them tight in his arms. she moaned loudly when his cock slipped into her again, staring into his eyes. he fucked her with a bruising pace, pornographic moans rumbling from deep in his chest.

“oh fuck, right there!” she felt his cock start hitting her g-spot with every thrust, her hand slipping down in between her legs to rub her clit. he saw her pleasuring herself, letting go of her legs and slapping away her hand.

“only daddy gets to touch you.” he pushed her legs up and above her head, forcing her hands to hold them up for him. he held her waist while he fucked her, watching her face contort with pleasure.

“daddy, can i cum?” she pleaded. the knot in her lower belly was getting tighter and the euphoric feeling of being high coming back to her. he nodded, giving her permission to cum.

i love that you got daddy issues.

“cum for me princess,” he grunted. he continued to torture her cunt with undeniable pleasure, her orgasm crashing down on her like a tidal wave. he felt her pussy spasm around his cock, sending him into his own pit of orgasmic bliss. they both moaned as they came, the girl loosing her grip on her legs. she smiled when she felt his warm seed fill her up, coating her so perfectly. 

he pulled out abruptly, watching the girl push his cream out of her cunt. it dripped over her ass and onto the sheets. he smiled and gave her pussy a slap, her body jerking in return.

rafe laid down beside the panting girl and placed his hands behind his head. she rolled over and threw an arm around him, snuggling into his side. he tensed under her, not used to the affection. she felt this, and once she kissed his chest, she loosened up, placing his arm around her back. they stayed like that for a few minutes, wallowing in each others auras. 

“i’m sorry about your daddy issues,” she apologized. she knew his reputation, but she knew nothing about his personal life. she knew that he had sisters, and that his dad wasn’t the best, but she was curious. she felt bad, she wanted to help him. the boy shrugged his shoulders. 

“it’s okay, there’s nothing i can really do about it. he’s just so...” he trailed off. she knew that he was more of a closed off person when it came to his personal life. 

“you don’t have to open up to me yet, it’s okay. i want you to be able to trust me, i want to be there for you,” she comforted him. he peered down at her, falling in love with the concern in her eyes. he wanted to protect her, to show her the love that he never received. so he did just that, falling deeper into love with her than he ever thought possible. he learned how to be gentle, how to be sympathetic and kind; she brought out the best in him. she knew how to show people their true colors, ones they didn’t even know were trapped inside them.

that was his first favorite thing about her... her second being her daddy issues. 

my masterlist

[skittypenguin]

sorry ive been so inactive lately!! schools been a LOT atm but i felt it would be a good idea to talk about the tommy stream today - had to catch the vod because i was out all day.

i know most people on tumblr hate twitter, and id say i pretty much agree with them on most parts- but i only was able to look through twitter as the stream went on and there were so many people acting extremely on different sides of the coin

- either (a) tommy is a very stressed out 17 y/o at the top of internet fame and of course he is going to be very stressed about not messing up , and (b) tommy is extremely privleged to label certain situations as “politics” and leave twitter.

situation (a) .

i kiiiind of agree with. i can really sympathize w tommy because i can relate to him and how he rambled a ton about it on stream - its pretty obvious its been on his mind for a while, and he seemed to just keep running in circles trying tonplay both sides of the “twitter bad/twitter good” argument which kinda got him no where. if i saw my name trending in a way that is completely negative, i would also freak the hell out. i’m also glad hes gotten/getting therapy ! feel like not a lot of ppl talked about that. i see the argument “wow. i cant believe you guys pushed him to therapy” and i dont really understand what that means to accomplish. therapy is a wonderful solution, and we should be celebrating hes seeking out those sources.

situation (b)

Now. i do agree that maybe labeling certain situations as “politics” when theyre just human rights issues is privledged! however. i do feel like a LOT of people on twitter have this issue of cherry-picking certain phrases to fit a very constricting narrative. theres a lot of assumptions and drawing to conclusions you need to make to conclude - oh yeah. tommy hates poc issues because he labeled them as politics. i dont think thats how it works, and watching the stream back i never got that intent at all. taking a break off of twitter does not and will never mean you dont care about current issues ever. mental health is not a cop out or bad excuse to leave it, and it’s quite literally why so many other people do, too.

all in all - its not really black and white!

stuff he said can absolutely be shown as a bit ignorant, but he clearly has understanding for when he messes up - i think a break off of twitter and talking about these topics off stream with close friends is what will be important for him :D i hope he comes back with a more healthier mindset and all <3

[thespiantherepist]

Android Iida x reader

You knew your dad loved you. He only wanted the best for you, and to him it was never enough. He always kept you financially supported, even though you didn't ask.

Your father ran a robotics company, the leading one on your country. His company was never second best; however he never let fame get to his head. He always had your best intrests in mind.

You weren't famous, and you never wanted to be. Running your cute, little library café was enough for you. It was always so peaceful. So blissfully soft, and warm. It was in just the right spot. People would flow in. People would flow out.

Like clockwork.

Your co-workers, and employees were your friends. They always listened, they showed up on time. You have always loved your life. You never were able to comprehend sadness. How could you?

You were always content. Nothing could go wrong right?

He died peacefully. Nothing painful, the doctors were baffled. No signs of struggle, or strain were present. They couldn't find any reason for his death.

This was the first time you'd experienced true sadness, and it hit you like a freight train.

You felt like you were being flung around. Through the wind she blew, and then she would land back down again. That, was the only way you could describe the feeling. Next to emptiness. Somehow, you couldn't bring yourself to cry. He would've turned in his grave knowing you were crying.

You missed his hugs, and crappy dad jokes. You missed the random cup of coffee sitting on your counter when you got home, all because he had a spare key. You missed him as a whole.

You decided to take a break from work, it was all to much right now. Thinking about your father now had just gotten you used to reminising. You sat in your window seat, looking down your driveway, that was encaved by trees. Staring at the rain, as it dripped down your window you felt peace. For the first time in about a week you were able to sleep.

When you woke the storm outside was raging, it was nighttime. The bolts of lightning that cascaded down lit up the voided night, like a second day. The rain that had started as a slow peacefull kind was now destructive. Threatening to destroy the Midnight roses your father planted for you.

After a particularly large flash had light seeping in your window you saw a silhouette.

Large, and Rectangular.

A box!

You hadn't ordered anything so this was unusual. Walking over to your door, and trying to navigate through the dark using only your hands proved difficult. It set you on edge, but you were always brave. You were brave for him.

Reaching for the doorknob, you gently unlocked it. The box on the porch dwarfed you in size. Your heart stopped, maybe this wasn't a good idea. Alarms blasted in your head,

● HEY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?DO YOU NOT REMEBER THE GREEKS? WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE GODDAMN WOODEN HOR- and she's bringing it inside... g.r.e.a.t.●

This was madness.

This is bizzare, I dont like it. I cant send it back, but...

You were faced with an issue, an android stood in front of you. Face stern, cold, (handsome). Eyes deadset, staring off. The muscles he had could possibly crush a watermelon. Suffice it to say, you would've thought it was a corpse; had it not been for the glasses that went into metal slots by his ears, and the engines on his legs.

Engines?

"Who knew dad made ones that looked so real.."

Awe filled your voice. It was a beautiful model.

The droid had a metal bracelet, with the name, 'Iida' engraved on it.

"Iida?"

"YES MASTER!"

"HOLY FUCK NUGGETS!" You were shooketh, 'THIS BITCH IS VOICE ACTIVATED?' That's wack.

"I APOLOGISE FOR FRIGHTENING YOU MASTER, YOU SEE YOUR FATHER MADE ME TO PROTECT YOU. I AM TENYA. I HAVE COME TO SERVE YOU IN PLACE OF YOUR FATHER."

Oh dear god, mans was loud. He also sounded like your favourite voice actor, but that was beside the point. You needed to find a volume button now.

○Two hours later○

"What do you mean you want to,... send me back?"

"Look Tenya," You said with a sigh, "Ive been having a hard time as of late an-"

"Yes master, however if I may interject for a moment? I was made for you specifically. I am not the company's." He explained it as if he was explaining it to a child.

"Okay... Ill consider it."

"What is, it? Master." He raised a brow, soft hydraulics were heard from inside him.

"I'll let you stay if you promise to help with chores, and whatn-"

"YES MASTER!"

Living with Tenya wasn't easy.

"Iida take a break."

"Iida, I dont need more food. Please stop feeding me."

"IIDA FOR GODS SAKE STOP CLEANING, IT SMELLS LIKE A THERAPISTS OFFICE IN HERE!"

And every time he'd respond with a blunt,

"No mamm, I'm afraid I cant do that."

"No mamm, it is my duty. Please eat now.

"MAMM I CANNOT STOP CLEANING, IVE TOLD YOU! PLEASE RELAX!"

It was, tense.

Iida, was difficult. However he was also resourceful. Wanted to know the weather? Todays, tomorrows, and next years baby. Need someone to theorise with? Iidas your man, resourses, and fact checks.

Want someone to cuddle with?

Yeah no, he refuses to do that.

"You're too precious, Im afraid Im not allowed!"

"Iida, I need affection."

"I'll call Shinsou."

You sigh.

"Cool, he's better than you anyway." You say pouting.

What. was. that?

Was Iida hearing correctly? Shinsou? Better than him? That cant be true. You were wrong, end of story, he'd prove it to you.

"Im sorry mamm, he didn't answer his phone."

"Did you even call him?"

He said nothing. Then.

"Master, come here."

"No." Really, then? Thats how you were going to be. Iida took off his shirt, revealing, very yummy.

TONED.

Abs.

"I'll sit next to you then." His programms scanned, finding the best cuddle positions. He threw his right arm over the couch. Pulling you into him along the way. Puffing out his chest, he allowed your head to lye there.

'OOH!' Iida thought suddenly. 'That actually feels nice. What? No Iida, Bad Iida! You cant think that way about heeeeeerrrr...'

He stopped. His mind jumbling.

You were asleep. A purring sound lightly emmiting from your body. A small sleepy smile on your face.

Iidas lit up like a bonfire. He smiled dopily, a clinking, of gears, and a soft thrum in his chest resonated.

'Relaxing.cuddiling. I could get used to this!'

[popcorn-hero]

How the villians reveal the issues in the BNH society

“Good deeds should be done with intention, not for attention. “

Honestly, stain was taken out of the story to quickly for my liking. I resonate with his ideology because I see it in regards to our culture. You see it on social media all the time: people recording themselves “helping” the homeless, or donating money. People must have their good deeds acknowledged and glorified.

But as I say, if you have to be perceived as a good person, you’re probably not a good person.

I think stains argument can be seen with the character Mt.Lady who comes across as an attention seeking, lazy, I’m only here so you can take my pic type of hero. What really drives her to be a hero? Is it because she can help society or is it for the fame?

And then we have the hero ranking system which I feel is the number one problem in this society. It’s a status that many strive for- like actor who only acts for the sake of getting "Academy-Award Winner” added to their title. Now theres nothing wrong with recognition, however, if your only you should strive to be the best at your craft for yourself rather than to get notoriety, that will come naturally.

And its not the heroes fault, its society as a whole that has laid out a culture that treats heroes as professional athletes. They get merchandise, riches, fans, etc. 

All Might is the embodiment of what it means to be a true hero. Get the job done because it needs to, not because it will make you famous. I would like to see an OVA of the world before it got to where it is now.

There are far too many silent sufferers.  Not because they don't yearn to reach out, but because they've tried and found no one who cares

- Richelle E. Goodrich

I can’t stand child abuse and that chapter showing us Shigarakis’ back story really hit me. Here you had a little boy who wanted to be a hero and was punished by his father for that. His father abused him, and his family enabled the abuse to continue. There was no hero for Shigaraki.

No one looking out of him No one there to save him.

You had a little boy who at first thought he was quirkless and then bestowed a very destructive power at his most vulnerable state. It was sad to see him accidentally kill his dog and ask his sister to help him after thinking he was in danger.

Then you have this child walking alone in the streets, half dead, starved, and traumatized, and no one saw him. (The old lady did, but when she saw his appearance, she moved on like it was nothing.)

No one thought to take this child to the police station? A hero didn’t see him?

Except for All-for-One. He saw Shigaraki. He saw a broken child that could be molded and raised to be his perfect vessel. 

And so he left one abusive relationship and entered another.

For a society filled with heros, there was non in his life.

“When good people consider you the bad guy, you develop a heart to help the bad ones. You actually understand them.”

La Brava and Toga are characters that weren’t given a chance to be themselves. Both of their quirks take on an instinctual nature. Both of their downfalls happened in their school years.

Toga is naturally drawn to blood. It is blood, ones life force, that she needs to use her quirk. When she drinks the essence of someone, she becomes that person- its like the ultimate type of bonding with a person. Now, I think Toga may have had something mentally going on with her that was only amplified by her parents and peers view towards her. With positive reinforcement, consulting, acceptance of her nature, I think Toga would’ve lived a pretty normal life. If she wanted to be a hero, she would be good for stealth and spy missions.

La Brava is very similar to Toga in the obsessive nature linked to their quirk. La Brava has to know everything about a person and actually love them for her quirk to work. Her quirk is probably the best quirk to have on a support team. The teachers and her parents should have taken the time to understand her quirk (I’m sure quirk counseling exist.) and maybe have some type of quirk sensitivity class, so children can understand that not all quirks manifest in the same manner.

If La Brava had the right guidance and acceptance early on, she would be amazing to have on a team.

“An unjust law is itself a species of violence. Arrest for its breach is more so....

- Mahatma Gandhi

Majority of the worlds population has a quirk. It may be mundane; it may be extraordinary. They may never have to use, or the have to use it to survive.

From what I understand thus far, you have to have a heros license (or maybe other licences) to use your quirk. Using your quirk without a license is a felony offense.

But is that fair? If someone has a quirk that allows them to fly, why should they be penalized for just wanting to get around faster? If they aren’t using their quirk to cause damage and harm, then why is it a problem. Why are people punished for their ability?

It would be no different from only professional singers signed with a label allowed to sing- anyone else will be fined.

In the MHA: Team Up Missions and Vigilantes, we get more a behind the scenes of the hero society. Vigilantes are classified as criminals even though the work they do is for good reasons. The little boy in the first team-up mission was holding the toxin of his quirk for YEARS because society forbids the use of quirks without a license.

What if your quirk is always active?

So now we have the Meta Liberation Army. They believe the use of ones quirk is a human right. I agree. By standing against a system that is flawed, they have become a terrorist group. They may have well done some terrorist actions thats not touched upon in the manga.

I kinda wish they didn’t merge with the LoV. I think them being a neutral opposing force between heros and villains would have made the story more interesting. 

Since it seems that Hirokoshi is releasing novels that takes a side path to the main story line, I hope to see novels that takes up back the beginning (like day one with the first person to be born with a quirk and a mutation)

It's not at all hard to understand a person; it's only hard to listen without bias.

- Criss Jami, Killosophy

 @waxwingedhawks​   Did a good job at pointing  out mutant discrimination. I knew that spinner was ostracized based on his appearance, but some of the things that waxwingedhawks mentioned that I didn’t catch the first time around. 

Even when I’m reading the story, I question when do we consider whos human and who’s an anthromorph/object brought to life?  

Hawks, Miruko, and Tsuyu are people who’s quirk presents as animal traits. They look more human than animals. Then we have Tokoyomi, Mina, Kojiro Bonda, Centipede and

(Ok, idk if wash is really a washing machine, or thats their costume)

Who clearly are closer to being non-human that human

If Horikoshi does decide to shed more light on that topic, I would like to see that as part of Mina’s character development.

I’ve actually become disgusting engross in this world and I’m currently reading Vigilantes to pick up some more pieces on the shady nature of this society.

[indecisive-v]

NINJAMUFFIN TWITTER AMA AUGUST 7 2021, EXCEPT HE'S ONLY ANSWERING QUESTIONS THAT HAVE PROPER GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION

ama just ended!! funkin related shit has been recorded under the cut as per usual. this time og copied text is uncolored, and purple text is paraphrased by me

Q: Do you have a favorite Friday Night Funkin’ mod at the current moment?

A: MordeTwi Magic

Q: Do you have a format in mind for the built-in mod support, or are you saving that for later?

A: depends what you mean by 'format'. stuff like charting will probably always be constantly changing until we have most levels of the game done, since we'd essentially want modding tools to be basically DEVELOPMENT tools as much as possible, and dev tools change as project goes on

Q: Favorite FNF character?

A: Girlfriend

Q: Have you tried (or are going to try) getting Friday Night Funkin' on other consoles?

A: It's totally possible, we just gotta get in contact, figure out what we're feeling it with, and get folks to make the backend for it

Q: Are you worried about the game itself being overshadowed by fan content (and by extension modding), or is it a non-issue for you?

A: we can see the grand picture of what we want out of FNF, and thats what separates us from any of the fan mod stuff

Q: What do you think of the reliance of Game Banana in the current modding scene?

A: it makes me very happy to see sans undertale over fnf boyfriend mod sit side by side on the same website as counter strike surf maps

Q: Hey, Mr. Muffin, what’s the release schedule for “new” Friday Night content looking like?

A: make stuf til its ready for an update

Q: Will there be something like an "extras" gallery where we can look at concept art and stuff?

A: if there is, it would be super cool. we dont just want some concept art image viewer in-game and call it a day.

Q: Will characters from stuff that ISN'T Newgrounds-related show up in FNF?

A: probably happening sooner than later, so yea

Q: Have you guys thought of hiring famous modders? (KadeDev, SugarRatio, etc)

A: no, we wont hire based off of fame

Q: Are you for or against Friday Night Funkin' mods and/or fangames being sold or otherwise distributed commercially (as long as they're open source obviously)?

A: Not against it, but why would anyone put up paywalls this early anyway?? Even the vanilla game is free rn so it seems kinda weird. But it's cool for em to take donations

Q: Are you okay with people going to the game’s source code, compiling it and getting the whole full game for free?

A: That's the point, my guy.

Q: Did you play test any of FNF yourself, and if so did you ever have trouble beating specific weeks or songs?

A: I've only beat Guns once or twice, but I've had others play test and do better than me

Q: If FNF hadn't gotten so popular, what would you be doing right now?

A: Still workin' on it. That was the plan, getting popular was just a surprise bonus. We'd be less focused on it though since we wouldn't have like 2 million Kickstarter bucks

Q: Got plans for FNF's anniversary? Anything cool?

A: Thinkin about it, but... monkey ball...

Q: Do you think the direction of 'let's make the hardest mod ever' will have some impact on the difficulty of the final version of the game?

A: I don't think we're influenced much by mods. We're NOT in the modding community at all

Q: Is there an fnf modder that is your friend or whose relationship with you is closer than other modders?

A: prob siivagunner crew technically

Q: Do you worry about how mods might execute ideas that you were eventually gonna do?

A: yeah, cuz usually when they do it, they dont do it as cool as we had in mind, and we'd have to show them how its done, lol!!!!

Q: How do you feel about the majority of fans that are basically children? Will the game have more mature content in the future to keep them away?

A: i think people see it as something we need to "actively combat" but genuinely i dont think any of us care. we just are going to make the game how we want to make it, and forcing these edgy things or whatev to "scare of the dumb kids XDDD" will just come across as cringe i think!!

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 1 - Haruna Fuuka files lawsuit against internet slanderers

*with Kaoru (K), Joe (J), Tasai (T) , who is a journalist writing for the newspaper Tokyo Sports, and Kami/god.*

Kaoru: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru. Have you heard of 'The Freedom of Expression' somewhere before?

Joe, Tasai : *noding*

K: I've a feeling we've done this before...

J: Thats right, yes...Its not a feeling, we actually did.

K: We are reviving the show we did on the radio station InterFM from 2015-16, on youtube this time.

J: Awesome

*applause*

J: I was really happy when I was first told about the revival.

K: I was also surprised *laughs*

J: Its not that you were made to revive the show though, right Kaoru?

K: The suggestion just came at me.

J: Oh really, like 'How about it?'

K: Like, 'Wanna tryy?' 1*

J: Ah, in a Kansai accent?

K:Yes yes

J: Like, 'Lets tryyy'..kind of thing...it started like that *laughs*

K: Yep

J: We did quite a lot (on InterFM). We even did a special edition

K, T : Yes, we did

J: We even made stickers

K: Brazil!

J:Yes

T: Ah, the live broadcast..at the Olympics

J: It was Dobashi san...Bishbash Dobashi san.

T: It would be good if we could do another live broadcast at this year's Tokyo Olympics.

J: On this You tube channel?

T: Yes *laughs*

J: A live broadcast might be a bit difficult legally, as for the Olymipcs *T laughs*

K: Um, thats *shhh*

J: Oh, its a secret!' *K laughing*  Maybe if were are asked by Tokyo Sports..?

K: Yes yes...So, as to the freedom of expression... 

Kami/god: Wait, wait, wait..I've come down too.

J: Oh, Kami?

K: He's saying it from himself *laughs*..I thought he would come if we beckoned him though.

J: Thats what usually happened. He was the kind of god that would come down after we called him, but now a god that comes down on his own accord.

K: Wasn't he like that before too? Should we keep him in reseve a bit more?

J: He'll want to appear, we can't help it?

Kami: You were forgetting about me!

K: We are not forgetting you!

Kami: You musn't forget your god!

*laughing*

T: We are not forgetting you!

Kami: Its not good!

J: You are always in our hearts.

T: Yes, he is.

Kami: Yes, thats it..you have to think like that.

J: But, you are not in the studio today, kami?

Kami: Oh..um, im just getting off a night shift..

J: A night shift?!

K: Ah, but it was like that before..

Kami: Right.

J: You are doing night shift work again? *Tasai laughs*

Kami: yes, thats right.

K: That was a while ago wasn't it, how many years ago?

J: Oh, is this the night shift season?

Kami: No, its..

T: You worked for ￥1000 per hour right?

Kami: Yes, yes...my hourly rate has risen a bit though. They were telling me 'Take a rest, take a rest', so my income dropped.

J: Ahh, its what they called a 'reformed working style', right?

Kami: Right

J: Its tough for you too, Kami.

Kami: *laughs* Yes it is.

K: He's the same as ever...  so lets get started.

J, T: Please

K: Ah, by the way, Tasai san, as well as Bishbashi Dohashi san, wasn't there another person before (at InterFM)?

T: Yes..a beastly guy *K laughs* An old aquaintance of the listeners', a guy called Monster Hiranabe.

J: Its a strange story, but once when a certain celebrity died, Hiranabe-san called me up, and asked me if I had known the deceased guy...as soon as I said that I hadn't known him very well, he hung up on me straight away!

T: Thats awful!

J: He is awful

T: This very guy, Hiranabe, even got a promotion from the manager.

J: Eh? Promoted to what?!

T: To Director

J:Eh?! Really?

K: Is that okay??

J: No, it'll be terrible!

K: Right, lets move onto the main news...I'd like to get deeper into the concept of 'The Freedom of Expression'.

J: Right, so Haruna Fuuka has filed a lawsuit againts those who engage in 'internet slander'.

A tweet stated 'Both her parents created a failure'.

On Jan 14th, 18 year old Haruna and her mother filed a lawsuit at Yokohama district court demanding ￥2,654,000 in damages from a person engaged in spreading falsehoods which have damaged her dignity.

On the acknowledgement that these tweets went beyond what was deemed acceptable by society at large, on Nov 1st the internet provider was ordered to make public the persons name and address etc.

Haruna has been tweeting since the age of 9, giving her opinion at random about society's problems, and creating a stir. She now has over 200,000 followers and is fighting 10 years of slander. Kaoru, what do you think about this?

K: Well..I mean, naturally, you'd feel like that..

J: Hmm, but I don't know the details but..the name of the defendant has been withheld...well, its a common problem that as a person speaking in the public eye, you are going to get criticism along with praise...like a 'fame tax'.  That said, how far do you go before honour is damaged? On SNS, you are of course free to express yourself, you can write what you want, but the issue is what constitutes damage to honour. This might be a very difficult area in which to draw a legal line, but on the other hand, if you don't draw a legal line, things may escalate out of control...Kaoru, what do you think?

K: Well for example, if banter between friends is written down...controlling that...Its best not to look at whats written in the first place.

J: Ah, the person in question right? By the way Kaoru, its a strange question, but do you search for yourself online?

K: No, not really. I hear things, the office staff will tell me.

J: Oh, if anything is being said?

T: In the world of fame its quite true, that even if 98 or 99 opinions out of 100 are good, the one negative thing will stand out.

K: Well, yes, its the bad things that..

J: On the other hand, from the writers'  perspective at Tokyo Sports, how far are you willing to slander someone? You could write an article in a good or bad way..

T: Of course balance is important, but of course, if the courts want to complain to us, they can call us, and start an exchange, but in the case of slanders on the internet, its like, who do you complain to? So, if you ask celebrities, they will say Tokyo Sports slander is better than anonymous online slander because at least they can complain to our face.

J: Mm, absolutely. Just how far do we protect these tweets, these freedoms of expression? Its difficult.

K: Are these really 'expressions'?

J: Well, esentially, yes. When you say 'tweets' you think of nonsense, but really its media expressing things, or artists expressing things..

K: Yes, yes, you can get a sense of individual expression.

J: And this especially has the power to influence...

K: Yes, and people get swept up in it.

J: I think this is universal, but at the moment I think Japan is bit like a geyser, people will rush towards any incident and some will start complaining, I mean, I think its important to say what you feel, but its complaining without trying to solve anything, only satisfying yourself.

K: Thats it

J: Its sounds strange to say, but it ends like masturbation. If it turns into something towards a soloution its ok, but just creating thoughtless slander to satisfy yourself is questionable.

K: So its often said, if you continue the conversation only looking at the bad things, it can't be helped. There are also good people out there..you know, put more importance on those people. How to put it...its like we said before, if you focus too much on that one out of a hundred, its kind of rude to the other 99.

J: I see. Still this person has over 200,000 followers and its said she has been fighting slander for ten years.

T: She's always been a bit of a talking point online. I'll just search for her.

J: I also have Instagram, I do stuff to do with societal problems on The Dave Fromm show's youtube channel, and whenever I upload about it (on IG), my followers decrease!  *everyone laughs* Outrageously decrease! Im serious, despite getting so far, that channel updates every week, and with every update my followers decrease. Maybe people hate reading about societal problems..*to Tasai* What did you find?

T: So for example there was that thing recently about regulating gamers to 60mins per session, she had quite a few things to say about that, playing vs learning etc.

J: I see..Young people do complain, well you can't really tell here, but on the other hand, young people these days, i know they would hate us old guys talking about this, but young people apparently have three main taboos. The first is talking about sex, they dont follow this, the second is politics, they don't follow this either, and the other one is, they don't like being made to talk about the kind of things that they really need to be talking about...there seems to be this kind of trend. So i think in this way...theres a chance Haruna is getting right to the point of this. But certainly, applying the law in a way that recognises infringement/damage to honour by way of personal utterances has the potential to lead to restrictions on the freedom of expression. Its a difficult play off, isnt it?

T: Yes, it really is

J: Obviously, when it comes to race, or racial discrimination, there has come to be rules concerning hate speech and so on, but how far can you regulate one-to-one slandering, or..how far can you protect the person being attacked? Should the country or the judiciary decide this? Its difficult.

K: Kami, what do you think? Are you there?

Kami: Well, I hear slanders towards me all the time *everyone laughs* Like, god tells lies, god is useless, or even that there is no such thing as god!

J: Ahh, i see. They deny you!

Kami: Yes, thats it. If I care about those things, I lose!

J: Do you search for yourself online?

Kami: I do. *everyone laughs* ..and whenever I do its only ever those things that come up.

J: Ah of course...Kami, you have an exceptionally good handle on social media  dont you?

T: He's great

Kami: Ive got a good handle on it.

J: Do you use an iphone?

Kami: I have two.

J: God has two iphones! Thats brilliant.

Kami: Yep, I have two...im not allowed to use them while im working.

T: Does he have a contract? With his address and such?

J: I can't tell whether he's great, or whether he's not so great...

Kami: If i care, I lose...I prefer them to hate me, rather than to be indifferent to me.

K: Kami, what do you think about playing computer games for one hour?

Kami: If the kid is good at it, they should keep doing it.

T: I see, i see.

J: Ohh not sure about that. That seems a bit out.

Kami: No, i really think so. Skilled kids can carry on playing.

K: Should unskilled ones give up?

Kami: Yes, they shouldn't do it...When they play all day, and they just can't clear the level..that kind of kid.

K: Its a waste of time right?

Kami: Exactly, its a waste.

J: They should do something else?

Kami: Yes

K: You should quit if you have no talent for it?

Kami: Yes, yes, its talent.

J: Well, just getting off a nightshift must be tiring.

K: For us too, you know, we should try not to say 'stop it' too quickly...we have to keep it interesting.

Kami: It was interesting though, I was listening.

T: Oh thank you.

Kami: But don't tell lies about me.

T: If you thought it was interesting, you should write about it on your social media.

Kami: Yeh, everyone pretends on social media anyway, they won't know its me.

K: Well, that was the first episode of 'The Freedom of Expression' but, should I ask how it was..? *laughs*

J: But, being together again after a while was refreshing..

K,T: Yes, thats right

T: Im happy.

J: So am I.

K: Well, so we started in this vein....Tune in next time to see how it goes.  So this time, only this camera, theres nothing here *gestures behind*, but if lots of people watch, we could go different places, increase our cameras. I still don't know about your fee, Joe.

J: Eh?! What do you mean? It says here my fee will stay the same!

K: I might have to lower it *laughs*

J: *coughs* You're only lowering mine?...But everyone please subscribe.

K: Yes please. Please look forward to next time. Thank you very much.

1* They are saying 'How about this?' in a Kansai accent, how to translate that??

[co27]

got tagged by @beanplague to discuss my opinions on women. i have shit memory disease so this is a list of Women I Enjoy in no particular order. theres only five because i have comically few interests that arent ocs anymore i think 10 is the general amount tho EDIT I INCLUDED ANOTHER CHARACTER

Penumbra - Ducktales. whats a phineas list without penumbra. she means the WORLD to me. its very obvious from the everything about me that i really dig “characters who use anger as a (bad) coping mechanism” and boy does she take the ticket. its also just. wow. shes lesbian huh. a canon lesbian interacted with Donald Fucking Duck Of Disney Fame huh. i could go on for hours but basically her character arc means everything to me and i think she should marry della

Della Duck - Ducktales Also. i couldve just put them in one together bc theyre same media but they deserve their own spots. i really adore how much life was breathed into this character whos just really never been given a spotlight before. i love how realistic everything about her is. adventure mom. 10/10 would let raise me

Meg - Hades. ill be honest i have not beat the game yet i have no idea how long it is till im done but meg.... oh meg. not only is she hot but wow shes got a lot going on huh? i really cant wait to learn more abt her and her history with zag... peel back her layers like an onion. thats not a euphemism i mean like in a finding out her issues way

Tome Kurata - Mob Psycho 100. i know everyones like “haha lol aliens girl” BUT BRO.. ALIENS GIRL!! not a lot of girls in media get to just kind of be. weird as all shit the same way male characters do. tomes just funny and weird and a gamer. shes just a good time to see onscreen

Sasha James - The Magnus Archives. AUAAUGHHH SASHA MY BELOVED. i get so fucking emo thinking about her. like she was just... a smart friendly charming lady, optimistic despite everything, struck by tragedy... even from a narrative standpoint the not sasha stuff is such a turning point in the series imo it just makes me so insane

Susie - Deltarune. what can i say i guess i love angry purple women who dislike the protagonist at first. the susie v lancer scene made me CRYYYY im so attached to her and her character arc. give susie friend.

i tag any of my mutuals who want to do this “aww haha he doesnt mean me” yes i do. do it /th

[voidselfshipp]

Tender heart

[Chapter one]

Tw:mentions of past trauma andfood

Summary: jericos first week on the job as team rainbows psicologist was boring, until her first patient walks in for help and later that day a friend of her takes her to the sea to talk.

Ok to rb

Its been a week already, jerico silently sat on her Office, the cracking of the Fire was the only thing that could be heard, the houseplants hanged from the ceiling, two sofas infront of the fireplace, and her desk with cluttered Papers books a warm Cup of tea and a family photo.

She had been introduced in team rainbow last week, so far none of the operators didnt come by to talk.

See,her job was more of a moral support and psicologist, it was boring since no-one came by for help.

Distracted from her thoughts by her pet eagle playing in her bird playground, nibbling at the plastic keys hanging from a pole.

The bird caws flying to her owners shoulder nuzzling jeris hair cawing.

--its been very boring week, dont you think sunshine?--she scratches under the eagles beak smiling as sunshine nibbled on her finger playfully.

She then sighed thinking itll be like any other boring day,nobody would come by and her resume at the end of the week for Harry would be empty.

Sunshine flied back to her playground and entered the medium sized wooden house.

The silent falls heavy on the room again, she clicks her pen trying to get herself distracted.

A psicologist that struggles with intrusive thoughts,aint that ironic?.

But then,the little bell ontop of her door rang, hesitant soft steps are heard as a Man, around fifty enters.

He pushes his dishveiled dark brown hair back, panting softly, he seemed to be in a hurry--uh hello?-- he wasnt sure how to start conversations.

Jeri looked up when she heard the chime,and smiled warmly at the newcomer-- welcome--jeri would be lying if she told you that a feeling of excitement didnt settle on her chest when the Man entered and sat infront of her--whats the matter

The Man looked away,trying to think of a way of explaining it, he then remembered the file that was tucked neatly under his arm, he hands it to her--Harry told me to give this to you before our session

Jerico took the file and read it.

The first paper was more of a summary than a proper introduction.

"Ryad al-hassar Ramírez.

Age:53

Al-hassar suffers from chronic insomnia,slight shifts of mood outside work and an obssesion with his brothers murder.

The last one is a sensitive thing to talk about, proceed with caution".

Jer closed the file and left it on the table intertwining her hands togheter leaning in.

--Well ryad,before we start Ill introduce myself,I dont remember you in the line up when I got here last week,im jerico, nice to meet you

She extended her hand, and he shook it,he was a bit nervous, therapy wasnt the best thing for him during his life, hes a very Stubborn Man.

--well whats on your mind?-- she asked.

He struggled to find his words, maybe it was a mix of things, the cute therapist infront of him, the tenderness with wich she was handling him, and the fact that he hasnt had a proper therapist in a good while.

--Well, what can I say-- he started--things are a bit tense at the moment with ash's and kali's fight, then theres been talk of making me take a month off for health issues, I mean its ridiculous im perfectly fine!,maybe im low on energy but its nothing a couple of cups of coffee cant fix

She perked up, Ryad swore he saw her ears move a little when she looked up to him--Couple cups of coffee?--she inquired,his body tensed as he realized the slip up he just made--tell me ryad, how Many cups are we talking about, one? Two?

The Man looked away in shame, muttering --Five

He waited to be reprimated, he was ready to get yelled at as his previous encounters went, instead though he gained a warm hand on his wrist, squeezing it Gently--does those cups of coffee help you with your day?maybe that has to do with the talk of taking the month off

Ryad sighed his tone a bit more stern than before-- I dont need a month off, I just need to get some sleep,I can still do things!

Jeri flinches at the sudden elevation of his voice, Harry had told him that she was very sensitive to loud noises.

He calms down --Im sorry I..i shouldnt have yelled at you...

He heard her chuckle and softly shook his hand--Dont worry, I know what you meant, sometimes in order to do things we need to take a step back,it May hurt and we May hate it at first,but in the long run itll help-- she stood up, her hand leaving his and walking up to the water Cooler--Tea? Itll help you relax

It couldnt hurt at this point.

So they kept talking for a bit longer, ryad was slowly getting more and more convinced that maybe that month off would do him good.

He sighed chuckling softly looking up from his cup to jeri-- youre very good at this --He said.

--Hmm?

--im very stubborn but somehow you made me change my mind,I think ill take the month off

Jer smiled--well, If theres anything else I can do for you

He had loosen up and she took a glimpse to his charming and romantic self, she wasnt preparing for the following,though--can I get your number?--he playfully winked at her, she chuckled along with her cheeks red....she could always say its because of the fireplace.

--Well I can give you my card if you need anything,in your file says you live off base, so maybe itll be helpfull for you

She gave a small bussiness card and he took it shoving it in his pocket.

--Well, thats all--he said standing up handing her the cup--Thanks

Jeri smiled--Glad I could help!

When he left,she put her forehead against her desk sighing,rainbow had some good looking people, now her work would be extra difficult.

At afternoon she closed her Office,she told Harry to tell the operators to swing by her room if they needed anything.

Now there she was eating her food in bed, laptop on her legs watching a movie with sunshine tucked under her arm, sleeping soundly.

A soft Knock interrupted her dinner-- who is it?--she asked.

--its ngugi,ngugi furaha

Jeri leaves the PC and food on the bed running to Open the door--Wamai! Good to see you, whats up?

The kenyan Man leans on the windowsill,Him and jeri had become somewhat Friends since he had helped her move in.

--I just need to clear my mind,I was hoping we could go down at the beach and talk?

Oh yeah,ngugi had certain affinity with the sea, she figured it would make their talk be more loose, so she put on some flip-flops and went down to town and then to the beach.

Its a starry clear night, the sea rocked softly against the sand, both felt the Ocean as a home, it was something they had bonded over.

--So--jer said with hands on her pockets--whats on your mind?

He proceded to tell her about the fight between ash and kali,how worried he was that it would end up in something worse, fearing that it would spark into something more violent.

They stopped and sat near the shore,she put a hand on his back patting it softly.

--I promise this Will be fine, Harry,zero and I are working hard on making sure this doesnt go even more south,for now id advice you to relax,tomorrow morning you could go for a swim,itll help you wind down

--I guess youre right--his arm pulled her closer, hed noticed she was shivering--Thanks jer

--Youre welcome.

They sat there in silence for a bit longer,enjoying the calm.

He was about to say something about heading back but jerico was already asleep, so he lifted her up and took her back to base to her room.

His own quarters were at the other side of the building, surely jerico wouldnt mind if he stayed the night.

This was confirmed when not only did he felt jeri make herself comfortable against his back but her own eagle, who had fame of being very protective over her owner, cuddled up to him.

He chuckled petting the bird,then Yawning, turning off his brain for the night, with an inexplicable feeling of warmth on his chest.