#but thats it i get lost with the dippers/bears

[toxintouch]

Requesting assistance, please?

Touchstarved Fandom,

Has anyone noticed that each of the standees have constellations on them? Different ones for each character!! And I think they might be real ones? But I'm notoriously bad at identifying constellations.

Anyone able to help me out? Are these real constellations?

[Pics below]

[Leander] [Kuras & Vere] [Mhin & Ais]

[fearsbellsarchived]

[me? Thinking about a gf fairytales au instead of being productive? More likely than u think!!! think ou.at buT BETTER and w/o the real world dimension hopping part. under the cut bc i just copy/pasted my tags from forever ago to put them in one place

mabel and dipper are hansel and gretal

paz is sleeping beauty 

bill is maleficient 

if we’re gonna get disney about it wendy as merida 

i LOVE the idea of tambry as rapunzel??? 

mabel can also be like...eric from the little mermaid 

so mermando can be ariel 

gIDEON AS URSULA/VANESSA IN THAT VEIN THO 

bill is also rumplestilskin 

stan can be the huntsman (idk from which story cause theres a fEW BUT)

ford is the sorcerer from fanstasia 

ford is teaching dipper magic....and instead of a true love’s kiss that’s how he wakes paz (maybe?)

the northwests made a deal w bill like in the most famous version of rumplestilskin but instead of wanting paz for himself he just wanted to steal her body at 16

so when they lose the deal they ask for help from ford and ford’s like “yo i can maybe change the deal??? a little bit???” so instead of bill taking her over when he goes to she falls asleep ​

so dipper wasnt supposed to wake her up but he found her and fords notes and he and mabel went on an adventure

bill is all the villains 

billains 

so stan has to leave mabel and dipper in the woods (idk y it wasnt for long the twins are just impatient) so stan disappears and the twins are like “lETS EXPLORE THE WOODS”

they come across some creepy old house w a lot of spiderwebs (can u guess the villain yet?)

an older woman comes out and is like “why are you guys lost in the forest?”

mabel points to the glitter trail “we’re not lost”

dipper looks behind them ‘mabel!!! where’s all the glitter?!”

(ACTUALLY MAYBE ITS YARN???) 

so they lose the trail 

meanwhile stan is losing his fucking mind

he follows the stray glitter but it’s blown all over

he feels “LOST IN THE WOOOOODDDS!!!”

so the old lady offers for them to stay the night bc its getting late

dipper is SUPER sus but he plays it cool surprisingly

mabel is So In!

long short...stan eventually saves them from darlene’s trap

usually shes just a maneater but look

when u live in the woods u do what u can

so stan hauls them back to their cottage

dipper knew there was weird shit out there but he wants MORE

he starts going through his great-uncle’s journals (*cue the dipper squee*)

he reads about bill and his deal w paz’s parents

he’s like....’maybe we should rescue her?’

ford wont tell him why they cant

so dipper and mabel sneak out

they steal the grunkles’ boat

mabel falls over board???

dipper tries like HELL to save her

but then he sees mermando save her

SO MABEL IS SAVED BY MERMANDO!!! 

gideon (who had long-loved mabel from afar) finds out

he visits the merman to trick him

all mabel remembers is his voice

so YES mermando trades his voice for legs just like the movie

sue me okay w his distinct accent it makes sense!!!

so the twins get sidetracked bc mermando shows up out of nowhere

they dock on a small island for a pit stop and thats when ‘kiss the girl’ happens

they dont kiss so they move on

they dock on another stretch of land the next day

AND GIDEON APPEARS

the twins have only heard about him from their grunkles so mabel hears his voice and goes *heart eyes*

mermando is Distressed

dipper is Focused on getting to this sleeping princess

mabel makes fun of him for liking her

SO GIDEON HAS MERMANDOS VOICE!

at one point dipper catches him w/o the amulet that makes him sound like mermando

and he tells mabel and its kinda like “the hand that rocks the mabel” or whatever the ep was called

it takes dipper and mermando being threatened (and gideons voice slipping) for her to catch on and she breaks up w him

dipper wants to throw him overboard

they just leave him on the next inhabited island they find

mermando got his kiss but decides to go back to the ocean anyway

he promises to write

mabel is Sad

SO BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ADVENTURE!

the twins come across a land near the one paz is on and decide to stop for food and to stretch their legs and other hygiene things

they find out there’s some archery thing going on and mabel is like ’ooooh can we try?!’

turns out its for neighboring kingdoms’ princes to win a princess

mabel and dipper think this is RIDICULOUS so they crash it

mabel steps up to shoot and everyone’s like ‘wHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?’

then dipper steps up beside her. neither of them have shot a bow before

they shoot at the same time. mabel’s like thisclose to the bullseye. dippers too far right

THEN!!! PRINCESS WENDY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE

DIPPER AND MABEL ARE IN AWE OF THIS VALKYRIE. THEYRE BOTH READY FOR HER TO KILL THEM BC THEY THINK ITLL BE AWESOME

but wendy is like ‘ACTUALLY ILL SHOOT FOR MYSELF THANKS’ and splits like three arrows down the middle w her accuracy

she looks at mabel and dipper and is like ‘u dudes look fun! ive never seen u before who are u???’

and they’re like ‘WELL!’ and launch into detail about their adventure w overlapping voices and sound affects and VAST description

anyways. i cant decide how old people are rn okay 

so wendy is like “hey dad??? im going on an adventure w these guys!” and her dad is like “unusual but u DID just win ur own hand. so ill allow it”

“YES! can i take soos too?!” 

“sure!”

sO THEYRE OFF AGAIN!!! lemme tell u the ship is filling faST!!!

they get to paz’s land. and the first thing they find is a girl in a tower with long purple hair.

everyone is pretty much just making ‘wtf’ faces for like....ten minutes.

finally wendy calls up the tower like “YO! WHATS W ALL THE HAIR?!”

tambry leans out the window w a bored expression and goes “its mine. im tambry. who r u?”

they introduce themselves and are like “u wanna come on our adventure?”

then....ROBBIE APPEARS!

and he knows where the princess is!!!

”oh yeah. her. shes also in a tower. its got a door but its guarded by gnomes.”

then robbie climbs tambrys hair pecks her cheek and ducks in the tower

they decide to head for the tower robbie directed them to. but they have to pass the castle. Northwest Castle

robbie warned them about the northwests. said that the princess was one and before she disappeared she was the snottiest brat hed ever met

so they became friends despite the fact that he plays music for a living (and not very well either)

her parents told her of the spell when she was twelve

so robbie’s like “they are not nice people and neither was she??? most of the townsfolk are glad shes asleep tbh”

but dammit! dipper came here for an adventure!!! he wasnt going to stop just bc the princess wasnt what he expected!

so they continue on!

mabel is like “maybe she doesnt KNOW how to be nice!”

and soos is just excited to be there!

and wendy is just...u kno...chill

they start to get close to the castle and they feel like they’re being watched

and then soos notices the PEACOCKS!

they assume theyre spies for the king and queen. which is half true?

they can also warn bill if someone is near pacifica

oh damn imagine that

being stuck asleep w a DREAM DEMON in ur head

sorry for the accidental psychological torture paz

WHICH IS THE ONLY TORTURE SHES HAD!

i think to make up for risking her life as a baby ther parents were like “we’re just gonna spoil u rotten and PRETEND u do no wrong eVERYTHING IS FINE”

so dipper is reading the journal and he FINALLY gets to the true loves kiss part of the deal

and he looks around at the party like “oh shit true love what do we do???”

mabel suggests he at least try and everyone agrees that yeah okay thats the back up plan

but dipper wants to use a SPELL!!!

so the king and queen see him w the journal and remember ford having the same one

so everyone is brought to the king and queen

theyre like “pRINCESS GWENDOLYN?!”

bc this is MY STORY and if i wanna give wendy a more princess-y name thEN I WILL

i say as i continue to refer to mason as DIPPER!!!

SO THEYRE MEETING THE NORTHWESTS!!!

wendys like “yes that is me the princess” and then everyone else introduces themselves...w dipper introducing himself as mason bc it just sounds more fairytale-y

soos is jesus (hey zeus! not jee sus)

soos is like....wendys bff/personal servant but mostly bff

so they explain their adventure to the northwests as quickly as possible

preston is no patient man and he’s is like “tbh its probably important she be here for her 18th bday soooo??? as long as she wakes up by next year why not???”

but only bc dipper was like “i wANNA USE MAGIC I DONT WANNA KISS HER THATS PLAN B!!!”

plus u kno...even if he DOES whats the guarantee itll work???

the guarantee is me being a filthy shipper tHATS WHAT!!!

so they continue to the tower!

there is probably a sidequest thingy with giffany bc i liked that episode

also soos needs more screentime im sorry

SO THEN!!! FINALLY!!!! THEY MAKE IT TO THE TOWER!!!

WHICH IS!!!

IN FACT!!!

GUARDED

BY

GNOMES!]

also theres a manotaur/multi-bear sidequest i just thought of bc i like THAT episode!!!

is this gf, a fairytale, sk.yrim, or a d.n.d campaign now??? WHO KNOWS!!! ITS NOT ME!!!

SO THEY GOTTA GET PAST THE GNOMES!

first they offer safe passage in exchange for mabel as their queen

after thats declined theyre like “or the redhead. well take her!”

this is also declined

finally jeff tells them to attack

at first the party tries to fight them off and they do okay

uNTIL SOME GNOME WEAPONIZED SCHMEBULOCKS RAINBOW PUKE!!! (i think it’s toxic tbh but i dONT REMEMBER)

finally mabel just pulls out her trusty crosSbow (aka “GRAPPLING HOOK!”) and they just make a tightrope to the window above the door

wendy goes first and NAILS it

then everyone else follows

soos almost falls and gets left to the gnomes but everyone helps him balance and they all make it through the window

coincidentally. the window leads to the princess’s room

OH MAN WHY DIDNT I USE THE PTERODACTYL?!

oh well. anyways.

everyone is looking around the room and like...taking it all in

dipper takes a moment...then walks over to the princess

he isnt sure if waking her will also wake the demon

crossover even more w my old paciphera au??? idk probably not

so dipper tries the spells he narrowed it down to

none of them work

all his friends have returned to the princess’s room and mabel is like “u gotta kiss her brobro!”

so dipper...poor poor dipper...just leans forward and kisses her

paz pretty much snaps her eyes open when dipper is a half inch from her face while he’s pulling back 

and even tho she was forewarned she wasnt expecting DIPPER so she SCREAMS

dippers ears are ringing

she shuts her eyes and stills her breathing and sits up.

AND SEES EVERYONE ELSE AND SCREAMS AGAIN

“i dIDNT EXPECT U TO BRING *FRIENDS*!”

so once shes a little more calm they explain the whole adventure to her

paz feels a little honored they came all this way just for her

also since True Love beats everything bill is like.....back in his home dimension. also paz has been fighting him for like....over a year.

so paz is like....ready to Go. u kno. just wants to go HOME.

they get pazs shit together and exit the tower through the door

she says goodbye to the gnomes. all by name.

“oh yeah mom and dad made them my personal guard when i was like...eight. theyve been prepping for this my whole life. they’ll meet me back at the castle.” so then she starts telling them about herself and her last like 

two years of being asleep w a DREAM DEMON

“sometimes i got the weirdest nightmares??? and they never ended. but when i woke up i couldnt remember anything specific.”

she and dipper talk away from the group. he tells her about how hes her true love and everything “okay well. we’ll have to lie to my parents and say it was a spell. bc they will NOT approve of us being true loves and if they hurt you...”

“then they hurt *you* too!” dipper finishes (idk maybe a combo w a soulmate au thing?)

meanwhile mabel is like...whining about boy problems??? and wendy is like “this is y boys r dumb.”

soos is like...wandering off. I WANNA INCORPORATE MELODY BUT WHO SHOULD SHE BE?!

paz and dipper start like....arguing about how to deal w her parents

apparently they actually ARENT that nice. if she doesnt marry a prince they’ll give her over to bill completely...or something idk

SO theyre nearing the castle!!!

theyve written theyre grunkles okay no worries. also mermando.

thats y mabels complaing about boys.

mermando and that manatee wife of his!!!

paz is not exactly ready to face her parents so she convinces the party (roll for charisma) to go the long way

which is actually just circles

anyways

we run back in to melody and soos and the party is like ‘wHOOPS WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE GLAD U DIDNT GET EATEN BY A SPIDER LADY!

maybe melody is like....a fairy???

something light and ‘childish’ bc thatd fit her personality

soos is like “ive BEEN here. u dudes have been going in circles.” and everyone glares at paz.

“im sorry!!! i just dont want to go back!!!”

“ur dad made us promise to have u back for ur 18th bday.” says dipper while he tries to stay mad at his future wife

paz is like “YEAH SO HE CAN MARRY ME OFF TO A PRINCE!!!”

idk why paz and dips are being better at being soulmates here okay i was like....sleep-drunk when i first wrote this

so the party has a choice to make.

take paz back home where she wont be able to be w her TL (which in some cases has probably led to death) OR!!!

sneak her out and take her home w them?!

wendys probably gotta go back to her own kingdom tho.

and soos wants to stay w melody

U KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?!

sTAN NEVER GOT TO BE SOOS’S DAD!!!!

SORRY SOOS!!!

so anyways

mabel and dipper decide to help her sneak out

luckily she knows all the blindspots

it takes longer but they finally make it back to their ship

they say theyre goodbyes to soos and melody and paz wishes them well in her kingdom. she promises to return when shes ready to rule

they load the ship and sail to wendys kingdom next

they stay a few days to recuperate

paz has trouble sleeping bc when she does the nightmares come back.

cue a kat.niss/pee.ta thing where paz sleeps next to dips bc it keeps the nightmares away

wendy has to explain why soos isnt w them to her dad who kinda shrugs it off?

“u proved u can protect urself.” or something.

after like.....a whole fucking year the twins are heading home.

paz and dipper sleep together on the ship too bc its just fucking easier

paz is nervous to meet the grunks

she and dipper arent exactly....dating??? its def more like soulmate au

where theyre AWARE theyre supposed to be together but they dont even rly know if they WANT to be together.

paz is p much “i dont rly wanna be w anyone else. ill let u kno if that changes.” and dips is like “tbh same.”

mabel is already planning a big royal wedding.

iDK Y BUT I WANT THEM TO FIND OUT THEYVE BEEN ROYALTY ALL THIS TIME??? probably just bc i LOVE that trope!!! but theyre not so its whateves.

so they FINALLY get home. mabel has been writing letters this whole time. to mermanso. to soos and melody. to wendy.

shes the captain of the dip.ifica ship and shes gotta keep her crewmembers in the know!!!

the twins also wrote to the grunks the whole time so!!!! no worries!!!

paz tries writing to her parents...but she can never find the right words.

meeting the grunks isnt as bad as she thought???

stan loves her off the bat. partially bc shes rich and bc she doesnt take shit

ford is pleased to meet the girl he saved and shes v v thankful to him for saving her life as best he could.

it takes her like a YEAR to write the letter.

she promises her parents she’ll return. AFTER shes married.

at this point she and dipper ARE together. they figured all theyre confusion out and are just living the good life!

mabel and wendy are doing the long distance thing. shes still friends w mermando.

robbie and tambry found paz and they write back and forth.

u CAN TAKE ROBBIE AND PAZ SIBLINGS FROM MY DECOMPOSING HANDS!!!

everything is as happily ever after as it can get.

and then dipper proposes despite knowing what it means.

BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER ADVENTURE!!!!

*end credits roll. an epic theme song starts playing*

[minijenn]

Mystical Mystery Kids AU

In yet another bout of excellence over on the UF Discord we have created yet another really neat AU, one that I happen to enjoy quite a bit because it has le angst in it ahahaha (plus design wise it has a lot of really awesome potential) So yeah, have a bunch of headcanons we’ve come up with (plus some original ones of my own) under the cut!

So the backstory of this AU actually starts a waaaaaaay long time ago, back in the days of ancient Egypt. So we got our Mystery kids but they’re of course Egyptian but they still like go solve mysteries and hang out and whatever (idk this part is the part I don’t generally find as interesting as the present day of this AU)

So one day the kids are wandering around or whatever and they discover the truth that Bill (who, as we know from... some extra canon stuff idk) basically had the ancient Egyptians build the pyramids as monuments to him or whatever) is actually a geometric bastard who wants the world for himself

So the kids are all set to expose the truth to everyone but then Bill himself shows up and decides to silence the kids by cursing them, turning them each into a different kind of mythological monster

So in this we have Gem-corrupted (but still sorta sentient) rose monster Steven, dragon Dipper, Pegasus Mabel, and roc Connie

So yeah these kids are pretty much screwed because there’s no way to undo the curse (cause Bill is an ass) and they kinda can’t really hang about in human society anymore so they all just flee and go off on their own and stick together as they wander around, eternally stuck in their monstrous forms (they basically have unlimited life spans, but they can be killed (which will come into play later on)

And eventually these kids find their way to Gravity Falls, which is where all of the weird things usually tend to congregate, and that’s where they settle down

Now of course the Gems were around back in the day so they’re completely distraught about what happened to the kids, but Garnet I guess, has a vision that they’ll all eventually meet again someday in this place called Gravity Falls, so they decide to move there and play the waiting game, hoping that they can see Steven again someday

Now flash forward to the modernish era and the Mystery Kids get... uh... offed; basically they all die, probably in roughly the same way

BUT because the curse thing Bill put on them is sorta like this eternal thing, upon their deaths, the kids actually reincarnate into the modern Mystery Kids we all know and love

Now at first, these kids are all born human and normal and such, but as they grow up they gradually start to transform into the monsters they used to be (and they gradually start gaining memories of their past lives too) 

So let’s break it down into how it goes for each one of the kids (and I’m kinda gonna be doing some copy pasting from Discord here so bear with me)

So Steven; he’s not part Gem anymore, at least not apparently; but the Gems happen to find him with no parents around and they realize he’s basically identical to their old Steven they lost centuries ago, so of course they decide to take him in and basically raise him

However, he gradually turns back into that corrupted rose monster over the years and to quote @7-galaxys​ here (cause she came up with some really good ideas for this AU): “ OK so for Steven, there ain't no flower shops in Gravity Falls or Beach City, but the CG often portal to different places and whenever Steven comes along and finds Roses, he keeps them. He's got an uncanny ability to care for roses, so even starts his own rose garden. (Yet, as soon as the gems gave him seeds for other flowers, Steven couldn't care for them nearly as well and it always frustrates him) He's always got this distinct smell of roses about him, and really likes the color pink. He's usually calm, but small things will set him off (like when he's scared or hurt). Lots of people noticed he acts in an almost animal way, but everyone just chalked it up to HIS weird and mysterious past (showed up outta nowhere with 3 aliens- definitely not normal) that's also a bit pinkish. At one point, en STEVEN'S 12 or something, he noticed that some rose petals stuck to his skin. When he tried pulling them off, they refused to budge. When they finally did come off, he felt paint and was bleeding...thankfully they fell off on their own, but Steven started wearing sweaters after that to hide his new, strange skin. If they're on his hair though, he'll leave am cause he like an there and no one really questions it. Weird kid=weird habits”

So yeah, like I said, gradual transformations over the course of several years that even the kids themselves are sorta baffled by

Now for Connie, her and her family have always lived in Gravity Falls; however as she started to turn back into a roc (which is like this huge eagle-like bird if you don’t know), her parents kinda keep her inside a lot because they don’t want people to freak out over their half-bird daughter

And, quoting Galaxies again:  “Connie was always ridiculously light, even when she was born; her parents worried she wasn't the right weight, but everyone was surprised when she survived to infancy. Her X-rays how ARE always really weird (Connie was born with kinda hollow bones) but NO one figured out why. She was always so interested with birds, and I guess in this AU, is a needs glasses because her pre-roc vision and her now human vision were colliding a lot, which  made it difficult to see. When she was about 8, she began to grow feathers, and thats when her parents didn't let her go outside anymore. Connie's nose began to grow kinda weird, and sometimes her skin kinda had scales like how talons did? It was weird. One time, on a school field trip before her shut in, she was visiting the aviary habitat where birds fly around, yeah? And when she whistled (only she knew how to whistle out of the whole grade- she claimed no one taught her tho) all the birds flocked to her area, or at least most of them. One of them perched on her head and she stayed in the habitat the whole day.”

Now for the twins, they’re still born in California and again, seems like they’re all right and normal at first, but gradually Dipper starts turning back into a dragon (a tiny lil one) and Mabel turns back into a Pegasus

Galaxies, once more, weighs in: “Dipper's skin occasionally gets really tough and one time, he touched the stove while there was FIRE and it was hot AF but there wasn't a burn, Mabel always had a strong connection with horses and loved the idea of pegasai (But would sometimes point out that they looked....wrong somehow and she could never say how) and the twins always felt like they couldn't always communicate with people and DIPPER FUCKING LOVES REPTILES and Mabel always had this crazy endurance and a ridiculously fast metabolism and Dipper gets fangs and will sometimes growl”

So yeah of course the Pines parents don’t really know how to handle their kids’ alarming transformations, so they kinda panic and send them up to live with Stan in Gravity Falls (when they’re like, idk maybe 8 or 9) because apparently all sorts of weird shit happens up there, so they’ll probably be safe there, right?

So Stan takes them in and he finds their transformations to be pretty weird yea, but he’s supportive and comforting because well, Stan is the best

So the kids meet each other about the same time they do in UF and they all quickly bond because by that point they’re just about all fully monsters (I’d say the transformation would basically be complete around the time their past lives got cursed, which would be when they were 12/13 whatever)

So yeah through meeting each other that awakens even more past live memories and the kids eventually remember their former bond and that only brings them even closer together (the Gems are baffled but delighted by the way to see the kids again, even if they are still monsters) 

Also, being a dragon Dipper FUCKING HORDES A LOT OF RANDOM STUFF and it drives Mabel crazy (Stan and Amethyst use Dipper as a regular advantage on their revenge trips tho cause he’s got such an apparent knack for stealing lol) 

As for more extemporaneous stuff, when Dipper, Mabel, and Connie all grow their wings it HURTS like hell for all of them, poor kiddos (a lot of this transformation stuff would likely hurt them cause ya know, they spend years turning from humans into literal monsters)

Steven sometimes sheds his petals and they’re apparently very rare and highly valued for their healing properties

Steven’s also the only one of the MK who can’t fly but he compensates for that by being able to run very fast and jump very far

Despite being a dragon, like I said, Dipper’s a pretty small one, so he’d be the tiniest of the MK here (with Connie being the biggest cause ya know, giant bird)

Mabel still has a diet that consists of a lot of sugar (cause ya know, horses, sugar cubes lol), Steven’s pretty much an herbivore, while Dipper and Connie are both total carnivores

The kids kinda spend most of their time hanging out in the woods because they know they’ll probably be safe from humans being afraid of them out there (though they do trust Stan and the Gems of course) 

Aaaaaaand that’s about all of the main things for this AU but idk its a nifty idea (I’ve already sketched up what dragon Dipper and beast Steven look like so I’ll probably finish those up one of these days and do designs for the girls as well) 

Either way, as always, lemme know what ya think and if you got any HCs you’d like to add! Tbh this one is pretty neat (I love slow transformation situations) so I may write something for it in the future, idk its angsty but cute ^_^

[ceeberoni]

Constellation Rankings

Note: this ranking will not include zodiac constellations because pretty much all of those are badass and i wouldnt want to get into astrology discourse. ok cool here we go

1. Orion

the best fucking constellation like???? its so cool???? like the constellation itself is fuckin raw af???????????? this motherfucker could kill me and id thank him. also has a fucking nebula sword like COME THE FUCK ON PEOPLE

2. Ursa Major

the constellation that has the worlds most beloved ass. u know there the big dipper is ur fuckin good to go man. you lost some keys earlier guess what? found em fucker. and that fucking gate to the cosmos is wrapped in a sick fucking bear constellation????? a fierce competitor

3. Draco

if i have to tell you why the dragon constellation is cool then im not sure we should be having this conversation

~Honorable Mentions~

(below cut for sake of not making a really long post)

4. Triangulum

honestly the constellation thats literally just a fucking triangle?? i have mad respect for this one. triangulum fuckin owns it

5.Corona Borealis

crowns are fucking cool. i want a star crown and i know you do too. i actually just remembered this one as i was doing this list and i was like “wait why isnt this my favorite constellation”

6. Lil Dipper

trying its best. its got some big shoes to fill. tho its got the north star so thats cool. i believe in u buddy

Thank you all ofr reading my post!

feel free to add more opinions on more constellations in reblogs/replies!

[cupcakeshakesnake]

Watching SU for the first time: Season 3 ep 11~15

Beach City Drift

-That quote is weird in the way that it sounds cool but somehow fails to make sense

-what the fuck greg

-DAMMIT KEVIN

-KEVIN.

-Steven was basically me there

-’Hate’s a strong word’  I don’t think I want to know what would happen if I existed in that world.

-”I smell what you’re steppin’ in.”  “Ew.”

-ANIME GLASSES

-um but aren’t they basically like high schoolers. They’re too young to get themselves killed in a car race like that??

-Episode summary: Steven and Connie learn how to deal with a troll.

-Kevin is still cancer.

Restaurant Wars

-what the fuck

-excuse me but i thought both of you were adults

-”Too many carbs”

-That shit screams diabetes and obesity.

-HEELIES

-Did he just try to brand Steven with a burn mark

-On a side note, ‘kofi’ sounds like the Korean word for ‘nosebleed’.

-*lapis voice* This plan sucks.

-”I have a girlfriend.”  “Where she at tho?”

-OH GOD THIS IS PERSONALLY EMBARRASSING ME

-CRINGE INTENSIFIES

-DAMMIT STEVEN

-Plot twist: RONALDO ACTUALLY HAS A GIRLFRIEND

-Steven no

-Steven no

-Plllleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaase nooooo

-STEVEN DRAGGED PEARL INTO THIS

-STEVEN DRAGGED THE CRYSTAL GEMS INTO THIS

-AND THEY’RE ROLLING WITH IT

-JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

-Steven Universe staff: “We got really good reactions last time we dressed Pearl in a tux, let’s try dressing her in a waitress suit this time”

-But I eat fries without ketchup... They’re salty already...

-Sometimes this show has a magical boy singing and playing ukulele, sometimes it has the alien victims of an ancient experiment shrieking in agony, and then there’s this episode

the gems are not giving a single fuck

-wtf is onion doing there

-umm

*something relatable*

-And here I am, eating pizza with chopsticks  (well not right now, but I sometimes eat pizza like that)

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

-HA Studio Ghibli joke

-Sour cream’s mixtape must’ve been HOT

-who the fuck eats a whole pizza by him/herself in one go

-what the fuck kind of dream is this

-why is the dogcopter meowing

-KIKI’S FACE

-okay but what the fuck

-what

-THE FUCKING PUNS

-why is Steven so tired. Is his dream energy-spending affecting his real life

-what the fuck

-WHAT THE FUCK

-OKAY THEN

-Okay, these last two episodes felt like a bit of a filler for me, but all in all it’s okay because it had character building for the background characters.

Monster Reunion

-At first I thought his healing magic only worked on gems.  Then it turns out it works on humans too.  Now it works on friggin teddy bears.  He should open a repair shop.

-"Look what I can do!” *breaks dish*

-THE FICKING FACE

-”I lost the battle of will.”

-WHAT

-THAT LINE AROUND THE MIDDLE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE STRAIGHT ALL ALONG

-CENTIPEETLE

-AAAAA

-CENTIPEETLE

-”-to heal damage from the diamonds”  I see some plot threads hanging around there...

-Sounds like a victim of some chemical/geneological experiment

-THAT FACE AGAIN

-aww omfg tHAT’S SO CUTE

-CENTIPEETLE IS SO CUTE

-SHE HAS HANDS

-ADORABLE HANDS

-OMFG SHE DREW HERSELF

-AAAAAA

-(IS THAT WHAT SHE USED TO LOOK LIKE)

-Peridot’s salute?? I thought it was easy? Also it kind of looks like she is making a diamond shape with her arms/hands

-who the fuck is that yellow gem with the afro

-please don’t tell me yellow diamond used to have an afro

-Centipeetle: “Here is a nice little story told with crayons... see it goes like this.. then this happened.. AND THEN THEY ALL DIED”

-Wow, Centipeetle learned how to animate frame-by-frame.

-The diamond... experiment.. thing...

-NUUUUU

-DON’T CRY

-SHE CRY

-HOLY FUCK IT’S THE DIAMONDS

-but why only three?

-*Dipper Pines voice* The mystery deepens.

-NO CENTIPEETLE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-wait but how did he know that ship was hers

-she seems pretty traumatized

-WHERE THE FUCK DID AMETHYST COME FROM

-So the green scribbles are supposed to be gem writing?

Behold, the majestic Pearl bird in her natural habitat.

-FORESHADOWING

-FEELS

Alone at Sea

(I watch this on Kisscartoon and every time the video lags the theme song’s like W WE E A A R E THE CR RY Y STAL GE GEMS and I hate that)

-THE WATER WING EYE COVERS AGAIN

-EYYYYYYYYYY intensifies

-”They have a surprisingly clean sense of humor”

-”S.S.MISERY”

-that little blush/snort/wink/laugh thing was freakin adorable

-how does Greg know how to drive a boat anyway

so cute

-WHAT THE FICKK LA[IS THATS  NOT HOW FUISHING WORKS

-But what about the bait?

-Ah there we go

-”Like a worm or a 20 dollar bill”  What kind of fish would you even catch with a twenty-dollar bill? The rich ones?

WHAT WAS THAT

-Lapis is still emo.

-WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

-EYYYYYYYYY

-what

-WHAT

-WHAT

-THAT’S SOME COMPLICATED EMOTION STUFF THERE FOR A KIDS’ SHOW

-BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS NOT A KIDS’ SHOW ANYMORE IS IT REBECCA HMM?

-REBECCAAAAAAA?!?

-WHAT THE FUCK

-WELL LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT YOUR WISH LAPIS

-NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE

-HOW THE FUCK IS SHE STILL ALIVE

-LAST TIME I LOOKED, SHE GOT SWALLOEDED INTO THE EARTH IN SOME WATERMELON SALNDSAN IN THE MIDDLE O NOWHERE

-(NAILED THAT SPELLING)

-(Long, somewhat unrelated theory: I have a theory that the appearance of a gem fusion partially depends on the participants' relationship. In The Answer, we can see Garnet looking different compared to her current form - bubbly splatters of pastel, cotton candy colors - hypothetically because it was something completely new and strange to her. Then, as she got used to being herself more and more, her color settled down into a more calm, darker palette. Likewise, Malachite's monstrous form - I daresay she is extraordinarily beastlike with her centaur anatomy comprised of six arms and no legs, even compared to other multi-arm fusions - may be caused by the fact that the relationship between Jasper and Lapis is so toxic. That raises the question - would Malachite have looked different had their relationship been something better? If Jasper and Lapis somehow overcame their conflicts and started to bear each other's presence more peacefully, would Malachite's appearance change into something more 'civil'?)

-(Slightly shorter, somewhat more related theory: I've seen people say that the relationsip between Jasper and Lapis is an abusive one, in which Jasper is the abuser and Lapis is the victim. While I agree wholeheartedly with the former statement, my thoughts differ slightly on the latter. I think that this is an abusive relationship on both sides - Jasper dragged Lapis into it for her personal needs (or perhaps an urge to comply to her directive which was to defeat the Crystal Gems), and Lapis used it against her as revenge and to save her friend. In the end, they were both harmed.)

-But in all seriousness HOLY FUCK THAT GOT DARK

-STEVEN NO

-what the fuck jasper

-Is that some love/hate thing going on in Lapis’s mind

-HOLY FUCK WATER FIST

byyyyyyyeeeee jaspeeerrrrr

-Also, I was working on a Malachite drawing, but there goes my motivation.

-I’M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD LAUGH OR CRY

-WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL

-Lapis is pretty strong. She’s carrying a grown man and a boy AND flying.