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#but thats fine i got drunk and maybe ill sit on the floor of the shower later in my clothes
lyricsandpapers · 5 months
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Might i be drunk? Yes. And?
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voidselfshipp · 4 years
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The Copper Wars
Chapter 3
Tw:MC gets triggered.
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By the time it was night jerico had finished the blueprints for his New invention.
A thirty feet tall robot, called The Forge, he couldnt wait to make It,but first he should change,and Grab something to eat,maybe even go to town and see whats up.
He took a quick shower,and changed,walking to the kitchen with his cats following behind him
--Hey guys whats up--jeri said non chalantly.
The mercs couldnt help but stare, he was wearing tight black pants,a dark green sweater, his hair tied in a bun while some stands fell loosely on his face.
--We uh...we were just about to eat-- engie mustered up, Serving the food.
--Nice, oh also! Ill go into town, anybody wanna come with me?
The men , except for pyro,soldier and heavy looked at eachother,before an argument broke out about who should accompany him.
--ya should let me go!, im super fun to be around!
--What ye goen ta get is this little shite talking yer ears off-Demo said drinking from his beer.
--Oh yeah? Well ya cant even stay still!youre drunk off ya ass!
--Id offer myself,I could use a break from workin'
--Ja!so would I!
--I zhink I could use some fresh air zoo
Jer stood there thinking--What if all of Us go?we could also use it to know eachother.
The mercs look at eachothern,and with grumpy looks they nodd.
And so, after eating off they went to town.
When they arrived the place was absolutely bustling with life,in the main plaza there was music playing, and jerico really wanted to dance!
The tune was so catchy!, and it reminded him of how much he and his dad would dance.
He took a quick look to his companions,but he could tell nobody was onboard.
So he just,stands there, pouting and his arms crossed.
Until a hand softly poses on his shoulder,he looks at engie who smiles and lends out his gloved hand.
Jer suddenly smiles, a huge smile on his face as he takes It.
The rest couldnt help but feel their chest warm up,he had a beautiful smile.
The music changes to a more softer one,and engie sweats bullets as jeri puts his arms around his neck.
--oh shit sorry i--
--No no,its alright uh aint used to dance with a Man thats all
--Theres always a first time,though if you want you can go back with the rest
--Its alright...this...this is fine
Both danced slowly,hesitant and unsure,but eventually they warmed up,and absolutely Killed it!.
Jerico was having so much fun.
Suddenly the texan Man dips him in, and he hugs his neck as jeri feels hes going to fall.
Engineers arms hug his waist,and with red cheeks they got back on their feet.
The texan knew hed get teased by scout, but seeing his companion happy made him feel giggly like a schoolgirl.
While walking through the local feria,jer fidgeted as he saw the stalls,so Many Many pretty things!.
He ran around, scout following him as he also got excited by all the things people sold.
--anyzhing Catching your interest?--spy sneaked behind the New merc, his french accent made a shiver run down his spine.
--Beejeezus!you scared me!
--my most sincere apologies,but please answer
Jeri just shrugged--Nothing really I mean they are pretty but,nothings like...'wow I want to buy that',besides you dont need to get me anything
--Consider it a welcome gift,if you need anyzhing or change your mind,let me know,our revoir
And the frenchman left.
While the rest were exploring,jeri sat on the empty stage, he then saw a Man,struggling to get his kid to calm down, the same Man was trying to play something on his guitar to no avail.
So he approached the dad, and asked if he needed help.
--You can try
Unaware of his team watching him, he sat on the floor with the kid,And softly played the guitar.
Jeri smiled,the kid mumbled things in what could be understood as spanish, and an idea appeared on his face.
--Hoy voy a hablarte
De mis héroes, que me vieron crecer
Desde el león que se hizo rey
Hasta la princesa que rompió la ley--He sang,gaining the kids attention--
Si me preguntas a mí
De ellos aprendí
Que hay personas por las que vale la pena derretirse
Que todo es posible, incluso lo imposible
Las virtudes a veces están bajo la suficiente
La belleza esta en el interior
Recuérdame aunque te diga adiós
Debo dejar de ser algo que no soy
Llorar me tranquiliza los problemas de la vida
Elimina de tu vida si elimina tu sonrisa
Hay una lágrima por cada risa
Eres más valiente de lo que crees
Porque tenemos que crecer
La segunda estrella a la derecha todo recto hasta el amanecer
Aférrate a aquello que te hace diferente
Si esperas el momento oportuno, era ese
Ohana significa familia, familia estar juntos siempre
Que tu alma libre esté
Que nunca es tarde para ser joven--his team had Walked closer.
The kid slowly calmed down as he sang, and quietly joining him.
Jer had a huge smile on his face,pouring his heart and soul as he sang with the kid who did the same,enjoying the music-- Boo
Sigue nadando
Sigue nadando
Quiero ser cómo, tú
Hakuna matata
Vive y deja vi bibidibabidibu
Hay un amigo en mí
Tan blandito que me quiero morir
De ellos aprendí!
Both ended their singing and the kid started to giggle and laugh, jerico gave the Man back his guitar and watched them walk away, with a warm feeling on his chest.
--recruit is good with little kids--heavy said.
--back in my home I had a lot of siblings,you end up learning I guess
And they spend the rest of the night enjoying the town.
Once back at his bedroom, just as hes about to sleep, he notices a pacage on his desk.
How...how did that get in here?
He got out of bed and Turned on the desk lamp.
--Que carajo...?--(what The fuck?),he then opened the small box to find a beautiful book,with carved details,painted gold.
'Since you too design things I figured this would suit you best.
Spy'
Said the note on the wrapper of the box.
He smiled and left it there,already too tired.
He then when back to bed, and fell asleep with his cats on his chest.
The morning sun filtered through the old blinds,jer hears his alarm go off,smacking the button of his alarm with a groan.
Suddenly he jumps as loud noises and shouts reached his room.
--la re puta madre!--he cursed sitting Straight,vica stands on their two back feet and with his front paws Cling to his unbuttoned shirt.
Jer picks them up,as illa jumps on his shoulder,and he walks to the source of the noise.
--Can I know what the fuck is going on?--Jerico asked,grumpy and a bit anxious.
--zhis idiot tried to Cook a pie,and somehow left zhe fork inside of it--medic said looking at scout.
Suddenly, scout screamed at the top of his lungs to defend himself,with a stupid argument.
Jer jumps back and hugs his cat, who purss and licks his hand.
His breath hitched as hes barely able to say--scout shut up!
His broken voice is enough to make the whole Room shut up and look at him.
--leetle Man feels bad,whats up?‐-heavy tried to Grab his shoulder but jeri stepped away.
--Scout give him a glass of vater-medic approached jerico softly, guiding Him to sit on the table--...how jou feeling now?
The New merc drinks the glass of water as he brokenly tries to steady his breath.
Vica sits on his lap,and illa jumps on the table, purring into the hand thats holding his head.
--I...I think im alright--jeri straightened his back--sorry,shouting And and loud noises make me anxious, try and Keep it quiet for now please?
--Ja, Ve'll zry, oh, by zhe vay,breakfasts ready
Engenieer was so kind to make the New merc breakfast with some home made applepie(without the fork inside of it)
Jerico Drank his tea, while his carts sat besides him curled up in a ball.
--So,jerico right?--engie said
--Yeah,whats up?
--Why dontcha tell Us about yourself huh?
Jers hand buttonned Up his shirt as he finally realized he was still in his pjs.
--Well,i moved in with my dad when I was a teen,worked in a bakery--scout chuckled condecenfingly--wich means I can make better pies than scout,and I Will not leave a fork inside of it,a part time artist, when I was like....twenty I did my phd in Steam powered engenieering,and when I could id go learn blacksmithing in one of my dads Friends house,nothing much
--nothin freaking much?!--scout said surprised-- you learnt blacksmithing and you think thats nothing much?
Jeri laughed snorting--well yeah blacksmithing is pretty cool
The Bostonian boy sunk in his chair and hid his face with his cap, as his cheeks Turned Pink.
--Oh and engie,I have the blueprints done,we can get to work in the wiring after this
--Alrighty then!
The rest of the breakfast was spent in quiet chatter, and jerico went to take a shower, closing the courtain.
The warn water hit his body and his shoulders and back relaxed.
He stretched his neck and washed his hair.
After the bath, he changed and went to Grab the blueprints and the notes he'd made in the notebook spy gave him.
He Walked to the door of his room,feeling excited to make this proyect of his into reality.
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saturnmyg · 6 years
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The devil wears givenchy (2) | Min Yoongi
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❝ You’re a therapist who one day gets a call from someone who claims to be satan asking for an appointment. On the day of the appointment you expect to see a teenager or someone in their mid twenties instead you’re met with a man in a screaming red suit whose hair and eyes are as dark as the night but with an attitude of a spoiled brat, he surely cant be satan. ❞
➵ paring: Satan! Yoongi x Therapist reader
➵ A/n: my tired dumbass forgot to add some of the stuff i wrote on my phone so i had to delete the pos and add it so the story makes sense
| 7.9k words | Demon au |  romance | Humor | action | eventual smut | series
| warnings in this chapter : cursing, mention of death, unlawful arrest
Previous / Next
Masterlist
⤑ ⤑ ⤑ ⤑
‘’ma’am we’d like to question you on where you were yesterday when the murder happened next door‘'Asks the shorter of the two.
He has brown blondish hair with green eyes and a face that you instantly can tell that he used to, or maybe still is, a fuckboy/player. The taller, who has shoulder length hair and hazel eyes, meanwhile looks like a guy who'd apologize if someone else poured soup into his lap. Ever since you've opened the door he's been wearing this uncomfortable expression, which you cant blame him though, because right now you do look like a beast who's hibernation sleep was disrupted.
You stare at them blankly ‘’aren't you two too old to be playing pranks on people like this?’’
Almost as if they were expecting that answer, they simultaneously pull out their badges. ‘’Ma'am this is a serious issue, you have to come with us’’
One thing you've always have hated is the police. They were never there to help your family, and as a drug dealer you saw how unjust they acted. Putting your friends into jail while the rich brats who committed serious crimes only got sentenced to be on a six month parole.
Basically they're bastards in your eyes and nothing will ever convince you otherwise.
‘’Do you have a warrant?’’ you ask raising your eyebrow
‘’Thats not importan-’’
‘’It is’’ you interrupt ‘’unless you have a warrant you cant take me anywhere , go check the camera footages of the places I've been i'll even give you the number of various people that can testify that i was at work during that time.’’
The shorter police officer pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs deeply before looking at the taller one. They nod at each other and the hairs on your neck raise at that action. Before you can even jump back the taller one grabs you by the arms twists them behind your back and you feel the cold metal of the handcuffs on your skin. He grips your arm so tight you're sure it will leave bruises later on. As he drags you out of your apartment the shorter one comes to your right side and gives you a pitiful look.
''Sorry lady we're just doing our job''
Sighing deeply, you glare at the one still holding your arm. For a second the thought of how you could you sue them with the claim that the unlawful arrest traumatized you and how you could make some pretty good money, flashes through your head. But you decide to not do that, there's no reason to get into more trouble with the police than you already are in. Also the claim wouldn't even work because you we're pretty aggressive from the get go, meaning that the judge would've instantly known that you're trying to scam them, which would result in either jail time or a hefty fine.  
You huff slightly as the taller one harshly pushes you into the car while the other one already gets into the passengers seat. The car smells like vomit mixed with baby powder and you're disgusted. You're pretty sure these guys have never cleaned the car throughly and a shiver runs down your spine just at thought of whatever you could be sitting in.
Giving up, you lean your head forwards and close your eyes. Slowly counting from a hundred to one while in the background some country song is playing which only adds to your misery.
Twenty minutes later you're escorted into the  busy police department. The color of the walls reminds you of vomit, literally, its a bleached out neon yellow that contrasts too much with the green metal bars of the cells that are on the right side of the room.
Looking around you see that at least you're not the only ''criminal'' who looks raggedy. Just like you most of the accused ones getting interrogated have the same annoyed expression on and you sigh deeply.
The police officer behind you pushes you towards a table where a muscular back is faced in your direction.
‘’Jeon’’ the officer on your right calls out and the person at the desk turns around. He's a doe eyed man with a strong nose. He seems to be in his early twenties, sporting a coconut hairstyle, which weirdly suits him.
‘’Suspect of the case from yesterday night’’ The other office speaks up and pushes you down on the chair.
Jeon looks down at you and raises his eyebrows, not expecting to see someone in their pajamas, who looks like they have been through hell and back. He nods and the other police officers leave, the taller one with the shaggy hair , puts his hand on your shoulder as if to comfort you or maybe say goodbye, you aren't sure. Though you do feel disgusted that he touched your for more than it was necessary and you shrug his hand off you.
The noise of the chair scrapping along the floor rips you out of your concentration and you look over to where jeon is sitting. Theres a dumb grin on his face as he's opening the files on the table and you're instantly ticked off. This guy hasn't even talked yet and you already wanna strangle him, his whole demeanor screams of someone whose lowkey a know it all and is smug about it.
‘’It’s not everyday you see a criminal in satin pajamas’’ Jeon speaks up ,pointing at your clothes ‘’but really though, it looks like you have a lot of money, so what in the hell are you doing killing people out here, got bored with life? needed more actio-’’
‘’I want to speak to my lawyer’’ you interrupt looking at him with a blank face. Besides the fact that they detained you with no rightful claims ,you also have to deal with this frat boy looking guy whose three braincells seem to be struggling to even get him to breath normally.
So you're going to call your good friend , Jung Hoseok.
Jeon sighs as if he already expected you to say that,  turns the phone on the desk so that it faces you. ‘’go ahead.’’
After dialing the number you look at the clock and see that its 10 am and silently pray that Hoseok picks up the phone. Since he usually sleeps like the dead till late afternoon on weekends you're not sure if he'll even hear the phone ring. It wouldn't surprise you though if he didn't pick it up, cause this wouldn't be the first time he basically left you for the dead.
Looking up you see Jeon still sitting on the other side of the desk and raise an eyebrow. ‘’Can i have some privacy?’’
The young police officer doesn't answer and clicks his tongue instead before getting up and walking into another room that seems to be the department's kitchen ,and you turn your focus back to the phone.
After the fifth ring you hear a click and a deep groggy voice bark into the phone ‘’what?’’
‘’Hey’’ you drag the word out ‘’its me y/n-’’
‘’Yes i guessed that by your voice, what do you want?’’  
‘’So remember how you said you'd help me if i ever was arrested? so uhh so apparently your time to shine has come’’ you almost stutter out. Its not that you're afraid of Hoseok but lets just say no one talks to him in the morning until he's in a better mood. For whatever reason he always wakes up really pissed and snaps at anyone in his vicinity and from the looks of it , you're the victim today.
You hear a thud and then bedsheet rustling and you put your hand in front of your mouth to block out the snicker that escapes your mouth.
‘’you almost made me fall out of bed, what in the hell did you do now? don't tell me you finally killed that boy from the bakery, you know that there are-’’
‘’Jesus christ Hoseok, no!’’ you interrupt and sigh deeply ‘’you know the boys next door? they got murdered and now I'm at the police station because these idiots think I've done it, despite having no actual backup for that claim.’’
‘’An unlawful detention’’ Hoseok states and you can practically see him furrowing his brows.
''basically, so i need your help, please i'll even buy you those space shuttle looking ass shoes you want’’ you plead
‘’They're called Balenciagas have some respect, but give me twenty minutes and ill be there, its the police department thats around twenty minutes from your place?’’
‘’God i could kiss you right now, and yes it is, seriously thank you’’ you sigh
‘‘Gross’‘ Hoseok says and you can hear the disgust in his voice , and he hangs up.
While you're waiting for Hoseok to arrive ,you continue to look around the police department. The man behind the green bars is now awake, his body swaying to the tune he's singing, while he has this dumb grin on that every drunk person has at some point, and you turn away . On the walls you notice there a pictures scattered of the officers that work in this department, some with quotes underneath that say something along the lines of ''have fun with life!'', as if to make it seem like this is a cool and peppy place to be.
Grimacing you look away, let out a quiet ‘’yikes’’ while raising your eyebrows before your eyes fall on the small corner section thats the department kitchen. You see Jeon leaning against the counter, his head low as he's starring at his phone whole the other hand is holding a bitten bagel. To your horror you see that he's eating it straight with no dressing or whatsoever and you wanna scream out loud.
Before you can even say anything, the little bells on the main entrance jingle and you turn your head to see Hoseok frantically walking towards you. His whole appearance is disheveled as he stands in front of you heaving like an asthmatic chain smoker , before taking a chair and sitting down next to you.
‘’I want the premium ones’’ Hoseok speaks up not letting you greet him ‘’so tell me what happened’’
‘’The boys next door got murdered’’
‘’Where were you during that time?’’ Hoseok asks
‘’Look i don't know what time they died, when i came home i could hear the music still blasting’’
‘’Tell me yesterday's schedule then’’ Hoseok continues
‘’I woke up the usual time, which is around six thirty, went to work and stayed there till seven, then went to the convenient store thats the closest to my place because i’m a dumbass who still hasn't bough her groceries and went home’’ you answer.
‘’Any witness?’’
‘’Secretary Kim’’ is your immediate answer ‘’he was there the whole day and there should be camera footage that we can use, oh and the girl at the cash register from the convenient store, her name is Hyunjin or something like that, she has turquoise hair’’
Hoseok taps his finger against his cheek multiples times before he gets up and loudly says ‘’Whose the officer overseeing my client?’’
Several heads turn to face you two at hoseok's question and you see Jeon walking towards you. ‘’Thats me’’
Hoseok scrutinizes Jeon , a displeased expression on his face before he stretches out his arm and points at you ‘’why was my client detained?’’
‘’She's under investigation for possible murder’’
‘’An unlawful arrest’’ Hoseok counters
Jeon crosses his arms over his chest and rolls his eyes ‘’Its not unlawful she-’’
‘’Do you have any evidence that she's the murderer?’’ Hoseok interrupts
‘’No but we're looking for i-’’
‘’So you're telling me you handcuffed her, dragged her to this place ,despite the fact that she already answered the officers question at her home ,and you don't even have one shred of evidence that could link her back to the boys besides that she was their neighbor?’’ Hoseok raises an eyebrow
‘’We didn't want her to have the possibility to run away’’
‘’She would have been gone by the time the police had arrived’’ Hoseok retorts, clearly annoyed ‘’meanwhile until they have finished checking the camera footage we will deny every accusation'' he continues and kind of slams his hand down on the table ''If this investigation lasts longer than 36 hours we will file a civil suit for unlawful restraint and a violation of her civil liberties’’
Jeon just sighs deeply , tongues his cheek before he walks away, clearly not having any of this but you don't feel bad for him. Thats what he gets for even deciding to work in the police force.
Hoseok sits down again and sighs deeply ‘’you have some of the worst karma ive ever seen’’
With a wry smile you hold up your handcuffed hands ‘’i mean , you could say i’m living my orange is the new black fantasy’’
‘’ha ha ha’’ Hoseok laughs monotone ‘’But seriously though this is a fucked up situation and I've seen the type of shit you have done’’
Hoseok is kind of an childhood friend. Hoseok's father worked as as a lawyer for your ex boss, until he died of an incurable illness and Hoseok was taken under the bosses wing. Even as a child Hoseok already had a brilliant and eccentric mind, which he used in helping them with lawsuits. Never actually participated  in court since he was a minor and couldn't act as an attorney. He then continued to go to college to study criminal justice and graduated on top of his class. Till today his clients consists of gang members in which he impressively has won many cases.
But then again this is Hoseok we’re talking about, he's slick as a whistle.
After you left ,you and Hoseok kept in touch, mainly because you were paranoid that something would happen and you'd end up in the exact situation you currently are in. Although for some reason Hoseok refuses to accept cash from you, and instead wants you to buy him stuff that he either cant afford or doesn't want to spend money on.
‘’Let me just do the paper works then’’ Hoseok murmurs , picks up the suit case ,puts it on his knees and opens it before taking out a file. Taking the mechanical pencil from his brown suit pocket and tapping it against the paper.
...................
Its been four hours since you arrived at the police station. Bored out of your mind you stare at your cuffed hands and try to move them. You wince at the sharp pain on your wrist and sigh. At this point you've already went through the seven stages of grief and currently you're at dissociation. Hoseok, who has finished the paper works, is meanwhile starring intensively at his phone like he's trying to solve the Da Vinci code.
Tapping your foot against the floor in a fast rhythm , you turn your head towards the main entrance just to see the two police officers from earlier strolling in.
‘’The footage shows that you're not the criminal’’ The taller one says while the smaller one roughly yanks your hands towards him.
‘’Careful’’ you bark out and hiss when the cuffs fall from your wrists. Slowly you rotate your hands, stretching out your fingers as your lets your joints crack.
‘’Are you the officers that arrested her?’’ Hoseok asks and gets up to stand next to you.
‘’yes’’ the taller one responds
‘’What are your names?’’ Hoseok asks, picking up the notepad from the table.
‘’Jesse and Roscoe Fitzgerald’’
‘’I see’’ Hoseok says ‘’brothers huh’’ he continues to scribble his number down, clicks his mechanical pencil twice and  you're not sure if you're just seeing things or if for a millisecond the butt of the pencil really just glimmered red.
Hoseok rips off the page and hands it to the officers ‘’you will be hearing from me shortly’’ and puts his hand on your back between your shoulder blades and softly pushes you towards the entrance.
The minute you're outside in the parking lot you turn towards hoseok with an expression of disbelieve and laughter ‘’did you really just video tape them?’’
Hoseok just glances at you and opens the car door ‘’this thing has been recording everything ever since i stepped a foot into that place’’
‘’That's illegal’’ You say, and get into the passengers seat
‘’Not when it can be used for court’’ he replies and fixes the rear view mirror.
⤑ ⤑ ⤑ ⤑
‘’Thank you for coming on such a short notice’’ Yoongi says, his hands clasped behind his back. ‘’As you've noticed we're basically drowning in work, which is why i came up with this idea’’ He presses the button on the small remote control in his hand and a blue print of an abandoned building appears on the wall behind him.
‘’Fifth’’ Yoongi addressees the fifth judge.
The fifth judge is a tall broad man, with a dark beard and round face that comically gives out his kind disposition. Originally he was the first judge but then got transferred to be the fifth for being too lenient on the souls.
‘’I heard your hall and tenth’s are the only places that aren’t having troubles’’
The judge sighs loudly ‘’i wouldn't say that’’ he answers with a groggy voice ‘’its thanks to my assistant that we can minimize the work but there's always something going wrong, cant speak for tenth though’’
‘’Well thats normal’’  the first speaks up ‘’we’ve always had a lot of work to do’’
‘’Doesn't mean its necessary’’ Yoongi replies and faces the projection behind him ‘’This is one of the warehouses that's currently empty, this is where we'd put the new interns in’’
‘’We don't have the time to train them’’ The  first judge continues. The first judge unlike the fifth, is a small man with a stern face and a white goatee beard. Yoongi particularly dislikes him mainly because he's always opposing his ideas but then never actually comes up with any solutions.
Basically acts typically like every old person.
Yoongi closes his eyes for a second, noticing that his anger is growing and counts to ten before he continues. ‘’I was getting to that part’’ and sends the elderly man a pointed look. ‘’We'll have to sacrifice multiples of our workers and work overtime for a while, but they would be training the interns’’
‘’What if they suddenly quit?’’ The tenth speaks up.
‘’thats a good question’’ Yoongi replies ‘’the whole training program would be an insight on what their job would be like, of course there'd be different sections to fit each of the ten departments but-’’
‘’That way they could decide to quit beforehand and spare us from wasting time’’ she continues
‘’Exactly’’ Yoongi points at the papers laying on the table before each judge. ‘’If you look on the paper you'll see that the estimate of workers that each of us would have to send is around 30 to 40 percent’’
‘’How long will the building be ready for the trainee's’’ The first judge asks
‘’Maximum six months, we'll have to come up with the training plan, the building needs to be renovated too, plus we need to find demons who are willing to work’’ Yoongi answers.
‘’Speaking of demons’’ The tenth judge speaks up. He's a fairly tall man with umber colored skin and a goatee like beard but only that he doesn't have the mustache. Yoongi doesn’t work with him as much as with the others mainly because the tenth is the last one to send the souls up to heaven, meaning he has the least amount of workload.
‘’What are we going to do about the demons that are going rampant here and in the human world?’’
‘’technically seen our duty is only to judge the souls’’ the voice of the seventh judge is heard, a huge red fan hiding most of her face. Its been said that the seventh judge is a beauty but no one has actually ever seen her face. ‘’ the only one who has enough power to discipline and who the demons will actually listen to is you’’ she points a dainty finger at Yoongi
‘’Ill deal with that later’’ Yoongi answers ‘’but thats it for today, please carefully read the documents and make your preparations as fast as possible.’’
The judges stand up , bow slightly before leaving the meeting room.
The percent of the demons rampaging in the human world has skyrocketed in the last few weeks. Its like as if they're all looking for the same thing, treasure hunt style. A competition on who gets ,whatever it is they're looking for, the fastest. And honestly its been stressing yoongi out.
‘’I guess the meeting went well?’’ a honey voice echoes through the room and yoongi turns around to see his advisor leaning against the door frame. Its Park Jimin, a demon with looks that rivals any model, to the point where if he didn't have a single horn coming out of his forehead Yoongi would have thought that he's an incubus.  
‘’Beardy was trying to argue again’’ Yoongi replies while rolling his left shoulder
‘’Thats because he's old’’ Jimin says ‘’you tend to lose or not care about how you come off to other people the older you get, which by the way reminds me  i forgot to ask how  the counseling session went’’
Yoongi glances at Jimin ‘’besides the fact that the counselor looked like a teacher who works in a private christian boarding school , it was good’’
Jimin raises his eyebrows at the description ‘’well at least she did her job’’
‘’She sure did’’ Yoongi answers and picks up the document from the table before walking up to Jimin ‘’she's actually the one who came up with the whole training regiment, she unexpectedly has a sharp business insight’’
Jimin hums as he's walking next to yoongi down the hallway ‘’she'd be a great addition to have’’
‘’Already asked her that she declined’’ Yoongi counters and they round the corner ‘’don't think you're off the hook though''
‘’Why?, her methods clearly are functioning since you've haven't blown up yet’’ Jimin answers with a smug smile
‘’Yeah cause the counseling was literally a day ago’’ Yoongi rolls his eyes
‘’Thats a miracle considering you'd blown up if you didn't find your pencil in 3.5 seconds’’ Jimin replies and opens the door to Yoongi's office
Yoongi's office is elegant. One side of the room has a dark wooden wall which is where the heavy mahogany desk is. Yoongi actually wanted to put an indoor waterfall by that wall but jimin stopped him, saying that there would be no use for it anyways and it would just cost unnecessary amount of money, counting out the water bill that would come cause of the constant stream.
Yoongi finds the room gorgeous, jimin on the other hand finds it looks too much like an office of a mob boss that you'd see in a movie. The only thing thats missing would be an old vinyl player ,playing some classical music, probably something that would match the cliché decor and vibe, like  Shostakovich's string quartet no.8
‘’Cause theres a regiment that needs to be followed which you all clearly aren't’’ Yoongi replies and walks over to his desk.
‘’Anywho’’Jimin ignores Yoongi's reply ‘’the meeting with the heads of the cold hell has been postponed because of a blizzard’’
⤑ ⤑ ⤑ ⤑
‘’They did what?’’ your friend Jieun slams her hand on the table.
You're sitting in a dainty little coffee thats located in the shopping centre. The whole decoration is cutesy and pink. White abstract cupid angels that are made out of pipes are  hanging on the wall. In the background a poppy song  is playing.  , that sounds like its from kyary pamyu pamyu,
This whole environment really isn't your style. Not that you hate pink or anything, you get why it appeals to people but its just not up your ally. The only thing that looks cute to you are the uniforms the waitresses are wearing ,which color combination are pink and orange with small peaches on the apron on the skirt.
Your friends like to joke and say that you're kind of like a modern day morticia addams, which to some extent you are in the way that you basically only wear black but if the real morticia would see your apartment she'd probably have a heart attack.
Just like anyone else who walks into your place for the first time
But after yesterdays mishap, or lets just say arrest, Hoseok drove you home and the minute you stepped into your apartment, the fatigue caught up on you and you feel asleep instantly. To which you woke up at three o'clock in the night and basically fucking up your whole sleeping schedule.
‘’Stop shouting’’ you hiss at Jieun ‘’people are already starring’’
‘’Whatever’’ Jieun waves her hand dismissively ‘’So they just dragged you to the police department like some sort of dog?’’
‘’Yup’’ you answer and take a sip of your smoothie
‘’And they only let you go after four plus hours, with the ‘’ups my bad haha’’ excuse?’’
You nod
‘’How are you not outraged?’’ Jieun asks bewildered ‘’you're planning to do something against them right?’’
‘’Jieun’’you sigh ‘’clearly i'm going to do something cause uh, fuck the police , but at the same time its out of my hands cause hoseok is in the picture’’
‘’Hoseok?’’ Jieun tilts her head ‘’what did he do now?’’
‘’Apparently the pencil in his suit pocket was video taping everything the moment he stepped into the police station, so i assume he's using that as evidence or whatever’’
A grin overtakes Jieun's expression and she leans back into her seat ‘’that slick ass motherfucker’’
Jieun's appearance is misleading. She has red dyed hair, freckles and a gummy smile ,that makes her look like an angel, yet she swears like a sailor. Hell even her mannerism are something that society deems as ''unladylike''. But thats something you love about her, she's always straight up without actually being hurtful but also respects peoples choices. You met her in college actually, she was your tutor in your senior year and its basically thanks to her that you manage to graduate with good grades, you continued to stay in contact and thats how you two became best friends.
‘’By the way’’ You speak up ‘’how's work?’’
‘’Ugh don't remind me’’ Jieun groans ‘’the models we're currently working with are even more stuck up than you and keep barking commands at us like we're maids’’
‘’Well have you talked to their manager?’’ you ask ignoring the dig at you.
‘’What can he do? he's a wimpy guy and they don't listen to him, i honestly feel bad for the guy but sometimes i wanna snap on him’’ she answers and takes a bite off her cake
‘’Is it too late to change the models?’’ you ask
‘’Mhm yeah pretty much , since the clothes fit them quite well and we don't have the time to get the rejected models since we have to meet the deadline.’’
‘’Sounds tough’’ you hum
‘’Well its whatever’’ Jieun replies and shrugs her shoulders '' besides yesterday’s fuckery whats been going on with you?’’
‘’nothing much, been thinking of redecorating my place’’
''Good, sorry but that place looks like forever twenty one designed it and i honestly don't know how you haven't lost your mind cause of it’’
you shake your head and laugh ‘’oh but this will sound weird as hell but i have been noticing something’’
‘’Oh?’’ Jieun raises an eyebrow and leans in close
‘’So basically lately I've been encountering people that have this really off vibe’’ you start
''Off vibe?''
‘’Yeah , like soulless you know? They have this vacant look in their eyes, even if they're smiling and it sends a shiver up my spine, and then on top of that they are good looking but to the point where its creepy.’’
''Oh wow'' Jieun replies
‘’Like i ordered a pizza few days ago, cause i forgot to buy groceries again, you know the usual- ‘’
‘’Thats a bad habit'' Jieun interrupts and points at you
''Yeah well i'm here for a good time not a long time’’ you answer and roll your eyes ‘’anyways so the delivery guy finally arrives and i kid you not he had the exact same vibe, as a matter of fact he's the first one i noticed who has that whole ''thing'' going on.’’
‘’So?’’
‘’so i accidentally touched his hand when i gave him the money and his skin was cold’’
‘’Maybe he just has a low body temperature’’ Jieun says and cuts a piece of the cake with her fork
‘’No jieun you don't understand, it was cold like a dead body’’
Jieun stops in her tracks and slowly looks up to you ‘’how do you know how cold a dead body is?’’
‘’Whatever thought is in your head get it out okay’’ you wave your hand dismissively ‘’his temperature was so low as if he died of hyperthermia ,it was honestly creepy and disgusting’’
‘’So-’’ Jieun puts the fork down and counts off her fingers ‘’vacant stare, too good looking to the point of creepiness, cold body, what else?’’
‘’Sleazy personality or full on listless’’ you continue
‘’Sounds like a demon to me’’ she says and continues to eat.
Another thing about Jieun is that she has always been intrigued by otherworldly beings, such as angles, aliens, you name it, she’ll probably have the whole wikipedia site memorized.
you blink at her ‘’sure right and i'm Mary the virgin’’
‘’Literally every description of a demon is that they're good looking, yet soulless and they give off this vibe of uneasiness. so yeah I'm pretty sure that were demons’’ Jieun says and you can see it on her face that she totally believes whats coming out of her mouth.
‘’Lets hypothetically say they're demons , what would they even be doing in the human world?’’ you ask leaning against the table
Jieun shrugs her shoulders ‘’i don't know, kill humans? look for souls? who knows’’
A memory of yoongi ranting about demons going rampant flashes through your head and you shake the thought off, he was just using religion as a metaphor right? though you did notice how weird he acted at the end of the session.
‘’Anyways’’ you say, deriving from the topic ‘’i need new clothes so lets go before the shop close’’
‘’Aight let me just finish this cake and we can go’’ Jieun says and stuffs a big piece into her mouth.
Snorting at how her cheeks protrude out, you get up and walk over to the counter. Behind the counter stands a woman in your age, thats listless scrolling through her phone. Her whole posture contradicts with the place, almost as if she's tired being here but you don’t blame her, instead you clear your throat to get her attention. Slowly she raises her head and her eyes widen big as saucers when she sees you and she puts the phone instantly down.
‘’I'm so sorry!’’ she says with a panicked expression, probably afraid that you're going to have her call her manager out and complain about the customer service
‘’No no its alright’’ you smile and wave your hand dismissively ‘’id like to pay though’’
While you're telling the cashier what you and jieun ordered, jieun gets up from the table, collects the trays and puts them on the rack that is close by and walks over to where you are standing.
‘’Have a nice day'' the cashier says and Jieun smiles before winking at her ‘’you too’’
You who saw the whole ordeal just rolls your eyes , grabs her arm and drag her out of the shop.
‘’Damn can a girl flirt?’’ Jieun grumbles
You let go of her arm ‘’no, we all know that you shouldn't flirt with people working in customer service that shit is creepy’’
‘’That shit is creepy’’ Jieun mocks you ‘’thats because you're stuck up, a prude, a vir-’’
‘’Im not a virgin'' you interrupt and glare at her
‘’Are you sure?’’ Jieun raises her eyebrows ‘’why else would you dress like a modern day goth kid that used to listen to MCR or panic at the disco’’
‘’Okay first of all panic at the disco isn't exactly emo-’’
‘’They wrote one pop song and that was for big hero six and suddenly its not emo?’’ Jieun interrupts, a grin growing on her face‘’ you just proved my point''
You nudge her ‘’i don't want to hear that from someone who listens to Lana del rey and suddenly thinks they're a witch, what are you, 18?’’
Jieun just pats you on the shoulder and shakes her head ‘’not everyone has a shitty music taste like you but thats okay! humans are meant to be individuals!’’
Offended you lean away from her ‘’rude’’
Jieun just laughs, shakes her head and walks into a store that looks like they sell clothes for kids in their early twenties.
You sigh deeply and call out to Jieun, whose already inspecting black cargo pants with a long belt on it. ‘’ you do realize we're in our thirties right?’’
‘’I should be saying that with the way you dress, i'm going to make you an outfit and you're going to try it out’’ Jieun answers without even looking at you, takes a pair of the black pants and scurries to another corner of the store.
Meanwhile you're sitting on one of the small square seat that are scattered across the store and wait for your best friend to return with whatever outfit, you just hope its not colorful.
Madonna's song music is playing in the background and you're instantly catapulted back to 2000. Once your friend ,whom you rarely visited because she lived right next to your grandmother, forced you to watch the music video and after some time even you got into it and started to dance. Which on the other hand surprised your friend because she thought you'd be one of those awkward teens who had no rhythm instead you turned out to be someone who could bust out some serious moves.
‘’Okay so’’ Jieun reappears and rips you out of your thoughts. To your relief you see that the bundle of clothes she's holding are all pretty much black, though you do spot a dark green and and a checkered gray. ‘’Try these out and if they look good we'll take them''
You raise your eyebrows ‘’and i don't get a say in this?’’
‘’Hell no, otherwise you'd walk out of this place looking like a nun, and i mean like literally.’’ Jieun replies, shoves the bundles of clothes into your arms and pushes you towards the dressing rooms. Pulling the curtain close behind you, you set the garments on the small chair and strip out of your clothes.
Few minutes later you rip the curtain aside, a mixture of shock and perplex on your face. ‘’Really?’’
Jieun whose been starring at her phone finally looks up and her face lights up at your outfit. You're wearing a sleeveless crop top turtleneck and the black cargo pants from earlier. ‘’What? you look good in the outfit and i made sure its black too’’
''I mean yeah its aight b-''
‘’So whats the problem now’’ Jieun interrupts, sighs and gets closer to you
''the problem'' you continue and give her a pointed look ''is that i’m old and you got me out here dressed like some insta faux goth girl , it even has the hoop chain look!’’
‘’You do realize you have the a baby face right?,  you look barely 22 and thats only if you're wearing makeup’’ Jieun replies and pinches your cheek. ‘’who did you kill to get those genes?’’
You pry her fingers away from your face ‘’thats why i have to dress my age how else will people take me serious’’
Jieun gives you a skeptic look ‘’i can guarantee you're already not getting taken serious with your usual get up’’
Instead of verbally replying you just roll your eyes and go back into the dressing room.
After you've tried out all the outfits jieun coordinated for you, you begrudgingly take them to the register. As the cashier is ringing up the items you look around the shop and see a guy standing right behind you in line. As you take in his beautiful features, a slow wave of panic and shiver overcomes you and you nudge jieun.
‘’Look’’ you hiss
Jieun lazily follows your field of view and shrugs her shoulders when she sees the man ‘’not my type’’
‘’of course not you're a les-, thats not the point what i mean is he has the same off vibe like all the other ones i told you about’’
At that jieun looks closer and her face suddenly pales and she looks back at you ‘’thats a fucking demon’’
‘’Clearly he's human'' you say and inch closer to her ‘’but i  wouldn't be surprised if i hear about him tomorrow in the news’’
‘’Your total is 129.90′’ The voice of the cashier interrupts. You take out your purse and hand him the money. Not even waiting for him to bag your clothes ,you quickly stuff them into the plastic bag thats on the counter, disregard the weird look the cashier is giving you and grab your best friend by the arm. ''lets go''
Jieun just nods and with few long steps you're out of the store. You're not sure why exactly you're reacting like this, its almost as if your whole entire being is cornered by a predatory animal and theres no way to escape from it.
‘’Im 99.99999 % sure this guy is a demon’’ Jieun says ,heaving as she's having trouble keeping with your long strides.
‘’Speaking of demons ‘’you slow down your pace ‘’i got a letter today from the local shrine where my grandmother used to live and they want me to visit them tomorrow wanna tag along?’’
‘’God yes’’ Jieun replies ‘’i'll ask them to do a purification on me just to be save’’
‘’i’m finishing tomorrow at six, do you want me to pick you up from work or will you already be at home?’’ you ask
‘’Workplace’’ jieun answers ‘’by the time you're there most of the work will already be done’’ She nudges you ‘’ will you wear one of the outfits we bought?’’
‘‘Come on’‘ you groan ‘‘thats disrespectful to visit the shrine looking like that’‘ 
‘‘God has seen your ass naked many times , so i don’t think its that disrespectful to show up with a little bit of your stomach showing’‘ Your best friend deadpans. 
‘‘So god is into voyeurism?’‘ you raise your eyebrows. Just the thought of some otherworldly being watching everything you do , is creepy as hell to you.
‘‘And i’m the disrespectful one?’‘ Jieun gasp and slaps you on the shoulder ‘‘He just watches you’‘ 
‘‘So if he’s watching me how is he looking after all the other humans then?’‘
Jieun shrugs her shoulders ‘’ maybe he has like a billion eyes or something’’ 
You shake your head ‘’ how did we go from a friendly man to some sort of creepy being that probably belongs into one of H.P lovecraft’s books’’
‘‘Lovecraft was a terrifying being’‘ Jieun says ‘‘ i mean have you seen how he looks? that guy constantly had this weird expression on, as if he starred into the abyss and found something that no human should have ever discovered’‘ 
‘‘You talk like you’re a vampire who has actually met him’‘ you counter
‘‘If i were id have make sure to get turned into one by the age of 22 so i could avoid having wrinkles, wouldn’t want to end up looking like Carlisle cullen ’’Jieun says and puts one hand on her cheek
‘‘Carlisle is supposed to be 23 in the movies’‘ 
Jieun turns her head and looks shocked at you ‘’Oh Jesus christ they did they character so so wrong ,because that man looks like moldy cheese’’
‘‘Jieun’‘ you snort and hit her on the arm ‘‘don’t be disrespectful’‘ 
Jieun just laughs and pushes you into another store
⤑ ⤑ ⤑ ⤑
‘‘The next appointment will be in a week’‘ you say to the elderly woman ‘‘would you like us to remind you on monday morning?’‘ 
‘’ yes dear’‘ she answers and smiles ‘‘ such a hard working gal , you youngsters have it hard nowadays but remember to always take a break, alright?’‘ and puts an boney hand on your arm. 
‘‘Of course ‘‘ you smile and see her out. 
Closing the door behind you , you walk over to where secretary Kim is sitting and lean on the reception desk ‘’Next monday on two o’clock for miss davenport’’ 
‘‘Noted’‘ Secretary kim answers and looks up. ‘‘I’m not trying to pry into your private life but-’‘
You sigh ‘’ its about those police officers right?’’ 
‘‘Correctly’‘ he answers and pushes the glasses on his face up
Not wanting to go through all the bullshit of explaining it to someone again you just quickly summarize it ‘’ they basically accused me of murder and then it turned out that i was not the murderer’’ 
Secretary Kim just raises his eyebrow and gives you a skeptic look, almost as if he’s judging you. Taken back by the expression on his face, you furrow your brows and lean back , tilting your head ever so slightly.
‘‘Anyways’‘ you continue braking off the tense silence that was hanging in the air for a few seconds ‘‘i’m clocking out’’ 
‘‘See you tomorrow’’ Secretary Kim replies and goes back to starring at the monitor. 
You walk back to your office, shut your laptop off, not before saving the documents and put on your Jacket. After wrapping your scarf around your neck you pick up your purse, shut the lights off and walk out of your office. Checking  your phone for the time you notice that you’re slightly late on schedule and almost run out of your workplace. Not even bothering to wait for the elevator to come you walk down the stairs in long strides hoping that you wont fall and bust your head open, which has happened once before 
Finally arrived at the parking lot you walk towards your car. Opening the vehicle’s door you carelessly throw your purse into the backseat, take your phone out of your pocket before connecting it via bluetooth to the stereo. After choosing a song from your spotify , you put it onto the dashboard and drive off. 
Twenty minutes later you arrive at the location Jieuns having the photoshoot. You notice that your best friend is nowhere to be seen so you just continue to  chill in the car waiting for her to show up. You’ve only made the mistake once where you disturbed her during a shooting and just the sheer thought of having to experience the scolding from that day makes you have goosebumps. 
‘‘How loud are you going to have the music blasting in this car’‘ Jieuns voice rips you out of your thoughts and you jump in surprise
‘‘Are you trying to kill me?’‘ you heave and clutch your chest before lowering the volume. 
‘‘No but apparently you are’‘ Jieun answers ‘‘ how in the hell are you not deaf yet?’‘
‘‘Whatever’‘ You continue ‘‘ how was work?’‘ 
Good, something funny happened actually’’ Jieun puts the seat belt on 
Driving out of the parking lot you glance over to your best friend ‘’ oh?’’ 
‘‘The models were bitchy as usual but the manager actually got pissed’‘ 
You raise your eyebrows ‘’don’t tell me he made a scene in front of you guys’’
‘‘He sure did’‘ Jieun says ‘‘ you should have seen the faces of the models , that shit was comical’‘ 
‘‘And humiliating too’‘ you laugh and Jieun joins in. 
...........
After an hour of you two singing early 00 songs, you finally pull up to the shrine. The weather has gotten colder and you see the moon hanging high in the sky. When you get out of the vehicle you look around in awe. The huge red pillars of the gate thats towering meters above you plus the glistening of the snow gives the environment a mystical vibe. The paper lamps that are shining brightly on the porch of the shrine gives the finish touch ,almost making it look like its straight out of a fantasy book. 
‘‘Not to sound like an old sentimental lady but this is breathtaking.’‘ Jieun speaks up and you both burst out laughing. 
Walking through the gates you see a woman walking down the steps of the shrine towards you. She’s wearing  long blue divided trousers ,that is tied tightly at the waist and a snow white garment thats tied so that the left left side of the seams are facing outside. . 
‘‘Y/n?’‘ She calls out with a smile 
‘‘Thats me’‘ you answer and smile back. Jieun next to you is star struck on how beautiful the girl is. She notices how the woman’s dark skin glistens slightly blue in the moonlight, how her full lips stretch over her pearly white teeth. She’s utterly beautiful and Jieun is smitten.
‘‘Please follow me, the priestess has been waiting for your arrival’‘ The beautiful woman continues , and walks ahead. 
‘‘I think i just saw an angel’‘ Jieun whispers and nudges you. You just roll your eyes with a smile and follow the woman. Walking up the stairs you get a closer look at the building and see old inscriptions carved into the wood. Distracted by the sacred decoration you don’t even notice the woman pulling aside the paper sliding door , which to reveals a moderately sized room.  
Besides the scriptures, to which you assume to either be poems or holy scriptures, and small statues of deities ,there isn’t much to see. 
‘‘Please go ahead’‘ The woman says and bows before scurrying down the hallway. 
As you walk into the room you notice another woman. Unlike the shrine maiden, as you call her, the priestess ears a dark violet colored patterned belted robe and the same blue loose trouser that you saw earlier. Her expression is friendly as she looks up from the book in her lap. 
‘‘Y/n’‘ she calls out almost as if she’s known you your whole life. 
Looking closer you find fine lines adoring her face and you’re instantly reminded of your grandmother. Though a sharp pain flashes through your head and you close your eyes. 
Worried the priestess stands up, walks over to you with quick long strides and puts a hand on top of your head. To your surprise , you feel warm energy pooling into you and the pain ebbs away instantly and you look at her in shock. 
‘‘Why don’t we sit down and have a chat’‘ She says with a gentle smile and you nod before sitting down on the floor. 
The priestess sit down on the opposite side, facing you and jieun, with a serious expression ‘‘I’m sure you’re wondering why i called you here’‘ 
‘‘Yes’‘ you say ‘‘ i have no memory of ever being here, so i was curious what this is about’‘ 
The priestess sighs wistfully ‘’ Its about your grandmother’’ 
204 notes · View notes
falconsandfishes · 6 years
Text
platonic relationship
i have a bone to pick with plato. see the socratic method is basically the scene in montynpython in which a woman is weighed against a peice of wood to determine if she is a witch. and this is pretty much also the measurement system women use for me judge a cardio junkie by his ability to withstand smoke fumes. ive been up all night listening to eminem because i wish that i had the mysogny that he had because logically i should be mad at these females who lie to me but apparently developmentally theyre limited. 
so pretty much i just want my neck not to hurt and my side and platonic love isn really the kind which could support my lumbar spine but if you think im angry you are right and maybe if i rhyme my brain will work this time and ill finally be able to explain was never targeted at my objects of affections at all i like to walk around the mall see a cutie with a skirt on and she sees me looking at her tells her grandmother to leave her there because this place looks fun as she smiles at me there comes abu my friend who judges me and judges you and as i stare at her i can tell she wants me too probably more emotionally mature than my mom and a virgin with her skirt on and its workun but i have the confidence of a plastic bag floating in the wind shes cheesing while i hide behind her even though shes 4 11 and im 6 4 and because he was there i didnt pass because i dont cross paths but even thinking about having a girlfriend makes him mad. if shes too young for me i would have figured that out but it doesnt help that no matter how young or how old even the weather lady im told shes not right for me so will you make up your mind please can someone define maturity because apparently there is a reverse correlation between it and age and socrates was no sage im not really impressed that he drank poison similarly i smoke weed which takes me back to age three and birthday parties then i think about how much my life failed but only because everyone always stood in front of me. so snitch on me when i talk to you when youre in front of me at your desk and say your story about butterflies is the best begging middle and end. meawhile i havent even gotten to the first page of my legend of the sword it had a much more compliated plot which was cut off. then tell me i didnt count to tenthousand while you were listening to the teacher say the is spelled t h e and put me in a remedial reading class with a bunch of girls and address us as the girls so we can read books about a mouse who lives with his family in a house but if girls and boys are the same how can you explain i was the only one in that group to be bumped up to the advanced on by 2nd grade. i guess reading the encylopedia of animals wasnt a wase memorized their latin names bufo sativa phylobates. so by third grade i was getting so good at math that they took me out of class and had me testing material meant for 5th graders and it was really lame how can i explain all the flaws in the system to all the other people who were also ruined by it.
finally one girl who was definitely old enough for me waved at me when i looked at her and i got a boner and walked over to the ladies at the tea shop who looked at me with a disgusted look on their faces then some gangster looking dude older than i am replaces me with his hand on her shoulder.
before i was 18 i could beat up my dad and ever since then i knew not many people in my generation had much of a chance against me but i looked so thin they were not understanding. high iq causing depression have anothe smoke session even though you have athsma everyone remember to complain that i prefer to get high off one big hit i stayed in high school till i graduated but i left.
unfortunately with brain damage i could still make straight as which made me think i was ok gpa jumping above 3.68 when i only show up an agerage of 3 days.
practice your sky hook do your pushups get embaressed when an asian princess sees you do them 20 hanlaps perfect form and im not even a jock wow id better stop. next thing the girl i like is sitting on my lap in class telling me she likes me back shes sitting on my desk shes rubbing my face my life isnt gay justnsaynsomehing and youll get laid.
nah ill let some kid with adhd steal her seat and ill help him with math instead because i didnt tell her this but im alread braindead. my soul probably died with my pet lizard or my kitten perhaps it was internet addiction. 
what makes you think youll be make it as a porn star? you know im hot. well maybe i just didnt want you to act like a slut. i still remember the blonde who waves at me and smiled my freshman year it was clear that the world was my oyster the only problem was i couldn make my own choices.
i wanted to be an actor but i was so good at acting nobody got it. was so good at debating everyone liked to argue. was so succinct couldnt get the last word. so fast nobody would pass me the ball so dominant in wrestling i had to pretend i couldnt win just to have a friend.
pretty much i feel like the last cro magonon stuck on an island without charlotte saisselin bounce baby bounce three story house you look so cute in a blouse. hey look theres charlottes stalker i think il wave my arms around.
bounce baby is a reference to eigth grade i was watching a 100 meter race and then some black guy said that she never raced again. weed turned her from a goth into a wigger and after that i figured id become one too but it wasnt till 2009 i started to dress like you. what happened was i got some clothes from olympia sports to wear as warmups on the basketball court and to work as a salesman i shaved my head smiled knowing i was dead but still i couldnt even say i wanted to kiss  girl without that not being cool enough for my nephew and her bowl broke too
it fell from her car on the pavement and she said that he didnt even get to hit it.
so now im living in my dads room on the floor and finally my back isnt sore i have a well paying job im away from mom i have iron lungs and dad still doesnt approve because now i play too much basketball.
hi im interested in going to california. i meant connecticut but califonia will do since its warm there. sure steve come on out west but read the fine print your 20s are dead.
prove you wrong shame on me. dont prove you wrong brag proudly. stay out west and let your dad die. watch him act like an asshole at home back east one more time. your reward for having surived on the street for years as a middle clas kid
your friend says he thought you were dead. by the way he has this girlfriend in connectiut. oh you were the one who set him up with her? theres a whole website or three centered around her? 
better get you to spend your money on heroin and make you seem like a jerk in front of my dad. my excuse is im skitzophrenic.
all because my dad shamed me for growing up even crazier than him. thats why i called up my friend and asked him to date my girlfriend. 
there must have been something in those amphetamines which made me keep stopping at her house. i found them up on the shelf years after i tried to spill them out.
it was the first time an adult had ever called me immature. he also said my handwriting was bad and i needed a cure. talking to him i began to get red where even to begin? i have a lot of prblems at home and this isnt fair. see my dad camps in the yard and gets drunk watches us through windows andmy sister punches me in the head. mom pretty much works till shes in bed.
every day she watches the same soap opera and oprah which i record for her on tape. my sisters friends call me gay so i go over and play with the kids from the other neighorhood all day. 
one of them listens to a lot of eminem. his favorite song is if you dont like it you can suck my dick. hes in reform school and proud to be off his meds. when i talk about biking down a steep hill and blending into traffic he thinks i meannliterall blend in.
two gay twin brothers end of the road honor roll kids. play baseball and have alcoholic parents. hey ill tell the girl steve likes he likes her then she will never talk to him again. accept his chalenge to a fight and he will bang my head into a tree which is the same thing i did to another kid who tried to jump me but got sperated from his friends. 
refuse to dance with the only girl in middle school who has hips. make fun of the girls intelligence who sits next to you in math and has giant tits. refuse to eat candy off the first girls tounge then your science teacher who pushed pills on you flips on the tv its 911
stare at a girl all day and say you dont like her. girls think youre gay if you have a boner. telll me a calculator doesnt mattrer for a test but i do worse without one. make a flag pencil it isnt cool enough for the other kids.
sit with the retarded kids timmy and jimmy. watch nick all night fresh prince and bill cosby.
your sister wont stop torturing you so hold her at knife point. buy knives at school try to resell them and for the first time ever the kids you sold them to ge caught witth knives.
stay in the program with three teachers who gave up on you. one leaves to become a dean suddenly your grades go up. kids are jealous because you dont do homework. girls smile at you knowing that your test scores are high despite that.
throw shotput as far as a high school kid without any exercise or practice. run around the track dozens of times in pants you still arent good enough yet.
go to an alternative program reluctantly in high school its sort of like jail. everyone smells like cigarettes the air is stale. this isnt good for you but we will make you think if you leave you will fail.
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bluebirdzykaysies · 3 years
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5.14 - day before momma leaves
Goddamnit I hate to admit it but I’m already thinking and crying like a baby in my head once my mom leaves me to go back home to sf. the feeling is mutual like melissa said cause she’ll probably be just as a wreck and all this time I’ve been spending with her, I’m cherishing even more. I’ve never felt like this and Victoria said the same thing; expecting that while I transition. But everyone needs to experience this. I DO, especially. I need the time away for a bit to miss them and I already miss those interactions with my brothers too of just lounging in the living room watching NBA games all night, or youtube videos like its judyslife or ustheduo.
Our lives have changed already and itll be so hard as I am bawling my eyes out, sitting in my newly mounted dining table my mom and I put together, facing outwards my window with the Chicago sun, beaming through at a whopping 54 degrees.
This is my life now, I will be on my own and making decisions on my own. Ive told a few folks that I’m sad yet annoyed my moms time here was a bit much. But I know it was perfect for what it is. We’ve been tired each and everytime, her actions speak volumes and our conversations arent as deep as I want, but I know this quality time was one that will impact my life forever. Even though I hate to admit it or will say this to her face. i love my mom. so much, she means so much to me and my brothers. The amount of things she does unselfishly aka drive my freaking car with just her and hector for 5 days cross country. do what she did to make me help settle, there is no one like her. and I will forever appreciate her and love her.
She is opinionated and still felt like I couldnt decide for myself but this will be also a time where I speak up and use my voice. Saying NO.
ugh the tears keep falling down but some highlights from this past week were:
- Silly vlog videos that I actually may put together when I get the time
- 5/6; arrived - went to container store to buy my elfa shelving for my closet. Super nice lady that worked there Hector spoke to. Went to world market to check out their furniture and standing mirrors. TJ Maxx/HomeGoods and picked up some bathroom essentials, shower curtain, mats and beddings, Facetimed Yan/Ronz/Brent+Rick at night (10pm CST) 
Mom stayed with Hector at Courtyard Marriot til Saturday 5/8. So I wanted to stay at the apartment for the first time alone and enjoy the moment and soak it all in. Parking at my garage alone, randomly waking up to the SUNRISE at 545am and just being in awe of my new city... I could just cry
Didn’t get my wifi set up yet so the struggle was real a bit. The air mattress we got from costco has been tough to sleep on but eventually Ill get my mattress. Just have been torn with my furniture not being here since everything was rushed and happened so quickly. Learnings from the move thus far:
-Write a damn list, I DID NOT. Aka thats why a bunch of junk and unnecessary things were with my mom and hector in the car. All couldve been bought here. I ocouldve taken more clothes and shoes
-Alot of my clothes aka my favorite jean jacket and pink/mauve henley was left at home. My running shoes - I decided not to prioritize idk fucking why *rolls eyes* and alot of my other valuables. Brendan is nice enough to ship it. Its not worth to buy a RT flight and go there and take it all back with me... no. :( I would though tbh if I was in LA. lol make couple trips but I’m far enough that its like.... whewww is it worth but one day I will come back and visit. For now, its slated for Oct
5/7 Friday; I had it off started the day late at 12pm and booked my mom, hector and myself tickets to the skydeck. my mom was HILARIOUS, she was scared at first and thought it would be a huge platform to see under but once she saw its just a small piece of glass over 105 floors, it wasnt THAT bad. Her and hector are hilarious together and annoying a little LOL. but I guess they’re cute
Went to Wrigley Field while there was a game and that was an experience. Fans at the top of their houses, Security all over the block, streets closed, fans everywhere. Its such a historical building in the middle of a freaking neighborhood so it made itself unique vs att/oracle park being so secluded down in mission bay.
RPM Steak for dinner in River North. Valet’d the car and Hector treated us to a Missouri Steak? it was bomb though but I wanted Medium and he wanted medium rare... cream of spinach, mac and cheese, asparagus and for dessert topped with a Baked Alaskan. Whatever that is. (It was good) and my first time trying it.. me and mom. Our waitor was a nice lady in her 30s, gave me tori kelly vibes. Then another worker stopped by our table who looked filipino for sure (Rox’s ex Dennis look a like) but I already for got his name. He told us how he lived in West Town too and would eat at this bomb restaurant called “Uncle Mikes” maybe the ‘superstar’ of chicago :) hectors jokes were a bit much saying climbing up the coconut tree and asking if he can make halo halo in the back for dessert. No sir....
5/8 Saturday; Plan was to visit Macys downtown to check out furniture at around 930am. But they werent open til 11am. We checked out the Bean at Millenium Park and my mom got to see all the tulips and flowers. We waited in line for a while at Stans Donuts since Wildberry was just too WILD and packed, so we walked a block down and had ourselves some coffee and donuts for the day. After we headed to Macys and were greeted by a tall man name Hilary. he’s THEEE BEST. he knew we didnt have to buy anything from him at macys but he’s such a sales guy and has been in this business for so long that he kept tlaking about Quality of furniture and making yourself feel comfy and at home. Being in a small apt, or living out alone for the first time, separating each section once winter hits so you’re not bored out of your mind in the small place. He was so friendly and nice, I took his business card. Went to Ashley’s on the way to the airport and got gas. Feel in love with the small dinette table they had but the one I’m sitting on now I feel like is just perfect. Soletren couch will forever be out of stock and I will never let this go :( honestly dont know how itll fit in my door but i guess i will settle for something reasonable and decent in size
IVE BEEN SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY. . . . . . . I cant even. I got paid today so todays check will be sponsoring all of my credit card funds. Gna just pay it off in full so I dont have to deal with it. But going forward a budget will be set. and luckily some of the things I bought work can reimburse so I’ll do expenses sunday perhaps.
Saturday evening after dropping off hector, we did errands in the suburbs and went to a walmart. a bit ghetto lookin but its fine. Decided to go to costco after but had an incidentn with this white man who bumped my car and didnt apologize. I was going to say something but we’re so far out in the suburbs Idk what the hell he wouldve done to me. And if they’re racist out there. took the long way home and it was prob not through the safest neighbor hoods but my mom didnt have to know since traffic on the freeway was just ALOT. omg and the roads are just so bumpy, my poor car. Becca said she has a guy at a shop her family always goes to so hopefuully I wont need him but just nice to know the option is there.
Went to the costco up by roscoe village and bought food and more essentials like medicine i have a whole pharmacy.  again throughout all this, my mom is the MVP. I wouldve been like, Ill go get it when I need it vs mom stocking up beforehand. We ended up setting my living room with a japanese style seating using my elfa shelving as the table and a towel over it. Leftovers from RPM for dinner and ribs/salad from costco. (I keep eating, and we’re not walking alot so....... I’m def gaining wait and will need to lose this asap)
I’ll be back more to cover this past week; mothers day, ikea, seafood city, hanging with becca, azul mariscos, drunk at ross and dollar tree, pants falling (mom) unbuttoned pants cuz we’re so ‘stuffffffed’ hanging with the boys via facetime cause I do miss them :( I need to havea schedule with them.
kk toodles. time to go back to work. no more crying (maybe) then an architecture tour with my mom <3 and dinner at a steakhouse at MJ’s on Michigan Ave BYeeeee
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saltynemo · 7 years
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Snuck Out
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WHATADO Everybody its your boi Nemo back at it again with another fanfiction. I had an amazing sex dream about the one and only, Tyler Joseph, and I decided to make a fanfiction about it, since I haven't wrote about Tyler in a long time. Plus, I got a request to do an ‘Anything Tyler’, so its a win win.
Summery: Tyler convinces Y/n to sneak into a club together and then Tyler gets jealous/angry at her for her acts. Y/n needs to be reminded who she belongs to
Type: Smut
Warnings: Cursing, Rough sexual content, alcohol reference, under age drinking, clubbing (going to a club), little daddy/dollface/doll kink, slight choking, over stimulation, getting caught, very little degradation ,Idk idk
Requested?: Yee
Word Count: 6.5k (6,536 words)
So without further a do, P-P-P-P-PLAY IT:
Ever since I introduced my mother to Tyler Joseph, she has insisted on me stop hanging out with him. "He is a bad influence" She states. To be honest, I have learned a lot of ways to make a fake ID with him, so I can see her point of view. Hes a bad boy and I dig that. Plus, just because my mom tells me not to chill with him, doesnt mean im going to listen to her.
Since I cant have Tyler around when my moms at home with me, me and him have our special little dates together. We usually sneak out together at 12 am, and go have fun. The worst action we have done together is sneak into a club thats about a block away from my house. And thats just what were going to do right now...
I take a swig from a Red Bull by my side, feeling the caffeine rush through my body. I sense a buzz next to me and I nearly jump out of my bed from excitement. Tonight is, once again, me and Tyler's night out together. I check my notifications and see he just texted me:
Tyler :P- Hey Y/n/n! Im across the street from your house Y/n- Are you crazy?! My mom is..asleep. Anyway, what are you doing out there? I usually walk to your house. Tyler :P- I thought a change of plan would be nice ;) Maybe we can sneak into the club again, like we did a while ago. Y/n- Hunny, last time we did that, they nearly called the cops. Are you sure you wanna take that risk again? What if they ask for an ID? Tyler :P- Trust me, they wont. This town is fuckin stupid. Come on, we'll have fun :) Y/n- I dont know about this..I mean im all up for danger, but this is kind of risky. Tyler :P- Oh come on..for me? :( Y/n- Oh okay! Fine. Ill be out in a minute
I get up from my bed and check my window, moving the blinds aside. And sure enough, I see Tyler; sitting down on the curb with his phone. I giggle and stroll to my walk-in-closet, looking for some clothing that could look like im in my 20's-which im not.
I picked out a red Thrasher sweater that cut off to my belly button, along with some jean short shorts. I slipped them on and check myself out in the mirror, noticing something was missing. I looked closer to my face, relizing if I was going to be in a club, I would need some slutty make-up.
I slipped into the bathroom, slowly closing the door so it wouldnt creak. I open my make-up kit, thinking of something that could look nice, but not too slutty. Would some red lipstick and smokey eyeshadow count? I shrug, grabbing the cosmetics needed. I apply the Ruby Luiquid to my lips, immitating a kiss to see if the magic worked. Of course, it did. I giggle, setting down my lipstick and focusing on my eyes. I dont think my eyeshadow is needed..I look pretty damn cute.
I sneak out of the bathroom, peaking behind my mother's cracked bedroom door. I large snore is erupting from the corner of the room. I roll my eyes, bouncing back to my room. I grab my phone and slip it into my back pocket.
I look in my mirror, checking myself out before I go. My height looks horribly small..I think they could spot that im not at least 21 years old quickly. Fuck it, Im definitely not wearing heels tonight. I slip on my usual red socks and black vans and grabbed some cash. I paused for a little bit, noticing my mother's purse was in my room. I look back at my door way, glancing to see if the ogre has awaken. I quicky, but quietly, grab my mom's wallet, searching for her card. Yes! Its here! Hasnt my mother learned yet? I slip it into my jean pocket and place the wallet back into the purse.
I sneak down the hallway, hoping that the hard wooden floor wouldnt creak at a sudden movement. I slowly open the front door, looking outside. I see Tyler, hoodie up and still on his phone. I slip out and close the door, locking it behind me. I jog to him, smiling at how cute he looked. He picked up his head and smiled, "Oh, Hey! Took you long enough" I chuckled, stopping right in front of him. He paused, scanning my face. "Whats with the make-up?" He asks, moving hair out of my features. I roll my eyes, "Were going to a club, Ty. There will be a ton load of sluts there" I inform, giggling. "Gotta blend in" I add, jazzing my hands up. We both share a  laugh and start to move down the street.
"Oh and by the way, I brought my mom's card" I say, pulling it out of my pocket and showing it to him. His eyes widened, but flashed a small smile, "You know the pin number..?" He asks, grabbing it from me and scanning it. I smirk, "And her signature" I add, taking it back from him and stuffing the rectangle back into my pocket. "I've taught you see well" He chuckles, putting me into a choke hold and ruffling my hair. I grip his forearm with both hands, giggling as I try to make him release me. We both laugh, him finally letting me go.
We went back to walking, a little too quiet for my liking. "So, did you bring any cash?" I ask, trying to kick the silence away. "I brought $40 of my mom's money" He says, feeling his back pocket to make sure its still there. "Our moms havent learned to hide their money" I say, looking over to him. He smiles, his dimples engraving in his skin.
*TIME SKIP Brought to you by Patrick's Fedora*
We turn a corner, the red Club lights blurry in our vision. We stop for a minute, eyeing out our location. "So, how do I look?" I ask, turning my body so its facing Tyler. "Do I look at least 21 years old?" Tyler just stares at me, scanning up and down my torso and legs. "Um- *cough* yea, deffinetly. You look amazing" He says, looking back up to my eyes. I smile, blushing like crazy, "You look older than 18-let me just say that" I giggle, playfully poking his chest. He rolls his eyes, "Come on, lets do this." We start walking towards the entrance, holding hands to make our disguise look believable.
Once we reached the line, we eyeballed the Security Guard; crossed arms and black T-Shirt that was obviously too tight. I looked at Tyler, giving him a worried expression. "Hey, they wont say anything" He whispers to me. "We have done this before, Y/n" I roll my eyes, smiling.
We stepped in front of the guard, looking up to the 6 foot tall man. He glared at us, squinting his eyes and looking at us closley. "You have an ID?" He asks, his voice rusty and cracked. I gulped, pretending to search my pockets for it. "Hey! Is that guy ok?!" Tyler suddenly shouted, pointing to a man laying on the ground; beer bottle in one hand and drooling. Must have past out. The Guard imediatly rushed over to him, yelling 'Hey, sir! Are you alright!?'. Tyler grabbed my hand, quickly walking into the club. Men and Woman were shouting 'Those kids went inside!' or just plain pointing to us. Tyler's grip on my hand tightened as we were greeted with blaring music, red and white flashing lights, and drunk sweaty men & woman.
He looked back at me, smirking as we started to blend in with the dancing crowd. He turned around and held both of my hands, leading me to the middle. I laughed, him letting me go. We started dancing, trying to fit with the crowd around us.
The lights and crowd around us were a blurr. Tyler and I were only focused on eachother, and also the ground to make sure we dont trip on eachother's feet. A couple of times, we had to move to a new location cause the Guard was looking for us. I guess thats what you get for sneaking into a club.
Suddenly, Tyler grabbed my hand, dragging me out of the dancing people. I quirked my eyebrow. Whats his plan this time? Get me drunk? He led me to the bar, finally letting go of my hand and looking at me. "Ok, whats your plan?" I ask, smiling since I was so confused. He smirks, at me, turning around and talking to the bar tender. I couldnt hear what he was saying, due to the noise in the club, but I knew it was evil. I heard him say the word 'hardest', and I knew right then and there what he was looking for.
Tyler payed the bar tender and turned around with a glass in his hand. I stared at the bubbling luiquid for a while, contemplating on what it was. I guess I was right..he is gonna get me drunk. "Hey Y/n" He said, waving the drink around slowly to snap me out of my daze. I give him a sarcastic look, "I dont wanna get drunk tonight" Tyler rolls his eyes, not wanting that answer. Suddenly, he grabs my waist, pulling me close to him. I lay my head back, giggling, "Joseph, what has gotten into y-". He puts the drink to my lips, making me open them and take in the alcohol. It tasted sweet, strong, sour, pretty much all of the flavors I could think of, I was tasting.
He sat me back up and took the drink away from my lips. "Tyler, what was that?" I ask, whiping them. He giggles, "Oh, it was nothing. Just the strongest drink they had on the menu" He put the glass down on the bar table. I raise my eyebrows at him, "Joseph, Im a light-weight. That drinks' gonna get me hammered" I say, lightly pushing him. "Thats the point" He chuckles, adding a wink. Damnit, why did I agree to go to a club with him? I already felt the alcohol rush through my veins, brushing up againts every cell. "Come on, Y/n/n. Lets get back on the dance floor" He cheers, grabbing my hand and leading me back into the crowd.
*TIME SKIP Brought to you by Wet Ones (keeping things wet since 1988)*
I was suprised that I didnt get as drunk as Tyler intended to. In fact, I was pretty sober enough to solve a math equation. Funny how Tyler wanted me to get drunk, and he was the one who got intoxicated.
We were grooving next to a barricade that blocked off a private room. I held my phone up over my head as Tyler stood behind me. I started recording us dancing, just to save the memory. I swayed my hips to the beat, giggling at how goofy I was. I held the phone at the tip of my fingers, trying to get him and I in one shot. Accidently, I dropped it behind the barricaded. I groaned bending over the barricade. I was so close to reaching it, but my arm wasnt long enough. I, stupidly, went farther over the barricade, finally reaching my phone. Suddenly, I felt hands on my hips, pulling me back. I began to squirm, trying to make the hands release me, but I only turn around to see Tyler. He had a look of stone as an expression. He almost looked...mad?
He let go of my hips, suddenly grabbing my hand. He started making his way out of the club, dragging me towards the exit. "Tyler? What is it?" I ask, trying free my hand, but his grip only gets tighter. What has gotten into him? We storm out of the club, his face still stone cold.
The rest of our little walk was a blurr. No talking, just silence and some of the crickets chirping around us. It was an awkward silence, him still holding my wrist, but not as tightly as before, and his face as serious as before. Was it something I did? What if he just drops me home and I never speak to him again? What did I do to diserve this? A million of questions and concerns filled my mind, making my heart beat sprint faster.
Before I knew it, I was at Tyler's house, in his room, on his bed. He paced around the room, staring at the posters around the area. The silence was unbarable. I hid my face in my palms, thinking of what to say to him or what to do. I quickly stand up from the bed, looking over to him; he looked back. "Tyler, I- Tell me whats wrong? Was it something I did? What-" I start to say, but was cut off by a kiss.
I was suprised at first, being taken off cause the gesture was so out of place, but after a couple seconds, I kissed back. The make out was over all rough; he grabbed the sides of my head, pulling us deeper into kiss. I felt him push forward, making me back up untill I hit the wall. He moved his hands down the the sides of my neck, holding it gently. His thumb brushed across an area that made me jump a little. I felt him smirk againts my lips, moving his mouth down from mine, to my jawline. He nibbled and sucked on my jaw. I silently moaned, placing my hand on his shoulder. I bit my lip, trying to quiet myself down so I wasnt too loud.
"Y/n, you have no idea how long I have wanted this" He huffed againts my jaw, putting my skin between his teeth. He brough his head back up, locking his eyes with mine. "Your so beautiful, baby" He groans, kissing me roughly. I moaned into the kiss, trying to match his movements. "The way you...brushed your perfect...little ass againts me" He whispers between kisses. He brough his hand up and cupped my ear, rubbing my lobe gently. "And I..." He groaned. "Do not share" He put his index finger againts my lip. I faintly smirked, bringing out my tounge and licking the skin. Tyler's eyes fluttered closed, biting his lip. "Your such a tease, Y/n" He says through gritted teeth.
He pulled out his finger, wiping it clean on his shirt. I giggled softly, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. He looked at me with the same cold expression he had before, making a chill run up and down my back. He stepped closer to me, even though we were already face to face. He slid his hands around my waste; anywhere and everywhere he touched made a trail of warmth. I eyeballed his hand, which was making its way up my cut off sweater. I held my hands behind my back, holding my hand with the other. I look up to his beautifle face, admiring it. He smirks, looking up to me and locking eyes. I couldnt take it anymore. I instantly cupped his face with my hands, kissing him. I needed more of him, God he was perfect...
We went back in the past; him bringing his hand up and cupping it around my neck, brushing his thumb across the same area that made me jump. Tyler smirked againts my lips, slowly inching his way down to my jawline, like before. He didnt stay at my jawbone for long, because before I knew it, he was going down on my neck, sucking the skin and nibbling on it. I let out a groan, biting my lip and trying to keep myself quiet. "My parents arnt home....be as loud as you want, babygirl" He said between bites and kisses againts my neck, suddenly finding my sweet spot with a pinch. I let out a moan, following his information. He snickerd againts my neck, sucking the spot harder, making a hickey form. I gently hold on to his head, not wanting him to stop.
Once he was satisfied with the small purple bruise on my neck, he departured from my neck with a slight pop. He locks a gaze with me, his eyes reading lust. We bothed giggled. He grabbed my waist, ordering my to jump. I do as told, wrapping my legs around his waste and arms around his neck. I look down at him, rubbing my nose againts his. He smiles his cute smile, flashing his teeth. While he started walking towards the bed, I took matters into my own hands and took off my crop top. He tossed me onto the bed, watching me bounce up and down the springs. He didnt hesitate to jump onto to my right away, laying over me and continuing out make out session.
Tyler tangled his hands in my hair as I did the same to him, gripping the sides of his hips with my legs as he began to slowly grind on me. He reattached his lips to mine, kissing with force. He slid his tongue into my mouth without permission, making me relize he liked his dominance. Teasingly, I bit his tongue gently, just to see his reaction. He smiled againts my lips, "Better watch it, doll." Oh, Damn. That name gave me chills up and down my back. He must have noticed my goosebumps, because he smirked and started rubbing my prickled arm gently. "You like that name, dont you doll" I bit my lip, nodding intensly to try to shake away another chill. He chuckled darkly, returning his attention back to lips, then neck.
He inched his way down to my jawline, sucking and nibbling on the skin. I let out a breath, feeling the tension slip away. Damn, hes good at this. "Do me a favor and take this shirt off before I rip it off" He orders, feeling the material of my cut off sweater. "Its actually a crop top, but ok" I reply with a bitchy attitude, smirking as I take off my crop. "I said watch it, doll. I dont wanna gag you now" He warned, suddenly grabbing my chin and jerked it so I was facing him. "You got it?" He asks, using his tiny thumb (sorry not sorry) to carress my bottom lip. I nod slowly, gulping down the lump in my throat. "Answer me verbally" He barks, holding my chin tighter. "Yes, daddy" I answer, smirking internally. I can tell he is taken back by this, due to the squint in his eyes. "What did you say?" He asks, smiling a little. "Yes, daddy" I repeat, biting down on his thumb a little. "Damn, this is gonna be fun" He says, removing his hand from my chin and pushing me back down on the bed.
He continues his kissing trails, down from my lower neck, to my belly button, not missing a beat or even hesitating. I arch my back a little, letting my hands roam blindly behind me, starting to try and unhook my bra. I reach my goal, throwing my black lace bra aside. He glances at the thrown peice of clothing, only to put his attention to me. "Jeez, your perfect" He says, biting his lip as he reaches hands out forward to touch my breasts. One of his fingers trace my nipple, making it harden quickly and I gasp. He snickers darkly, finally kneading both of my breasts gently. I let out a breath of relazation as Tyler kneads both of my tits, letting my eyes flutter closed. Suddenly, I feel a wetness on my left one, making me relize he has attached his mouth to it. I let out a soft moan, feeling him nibble and suck on the sensitive skin. With the other hand on my right breast, he used his thumb to circle over the nipple, making it harder than I thought it could ever be. I groan in fustration. Tyler gotta take his old sweet time, dont he?
He finally left my chest, looking over my breasts to see his work. I look down, noticing not one, but several bruises scattered all over the area. I could see the proudness in his eyes, his lips spreading with satistfactory. I giggled at him, moving hair away from my face. He pushes me on the chest, making me lay back down. I do as told, making sure im comfortable, since I know I wont be leaving this position anytime soon.
He starts off where he left off; circling kisses around my belly button to tease me. I hum, licking my lips then biting them. He finally answered my prayers, and continued his trail of kisses downward, heading towards my clothed pelvis. I wiggled slightly, letting him know I was getting sick of his teasing. He smirked, "Patience, doll" He said, toying with the edge of my shorts. I groaned in fustration, and somewhat pleasure. The feeling of Tyler Joseph touching me this way felt almost, illegal, which turned me on more. He was an illegal boy.
He started tugging down my jeans, trying to slide them off. I lifted my hips upward, helping him take them off. He reached his goal and threw the shorts to Narnia. "The grand prize" He mutters, poking at my entrance through my panties. I giggle, moaning slightly at the feeling.
He teases my clothed access point with his middle finger. "Are you gonna be all nice and wet for me, doll?" He asks, glancing up to me. If he keeps on playing with this Doll kink I have, I might just cum at his words. Suddenly, slides a finger in between my folds, slightly moving my panties out of the way. We both gasp; him surprised of how wet I am and me incredibly horny. "D-drenched" He stuttered, chuckling darkly as he began to slowly curl them. I tangle my hands in my hair, my mouth wide open as I take in a deep breath. Letting out a moan, I scrunch my face up. I havent felt like this in a long time, I forgot what it was like to have someone else's fingers in me!
He continued to hook his middle didget, untill I was panting and moaning his name. "Oh my God, Daddy, shit!" I practically scream, removing my hands from my hair and gripping the sheets. I could see the smirk poking out of his mouth, curling his finger more. I bit my lip and gripped the sheets harder untill my knuckles were white, the skin on my lips breaking away from my teeth, and my eyes squinting shut. I didnt want to be too loud, thinking the neighbors would come over and ruin the fun. "I dont hear you crying out for me, doll. I know you got it in you" He suddenly, some how, thrusts his finger deeper, making me moan out his nickname. Tyler must have gotten an idea, because he uncurled his finger, and started to thrust his middle digit in and out at a moderate pace. I loosened the grip I had on the sheets, still feeling pleasurable, but somewhat relaxed.
He suddenly took out his finger, leaving me cold. He leaned over me, ordering me to open my mouth. I obeyed, opening it wide. He stuck his wet finger into my mouth, almost all the way down to my throat. I twirl my tongue around it, humming. His eyes fluttered shut, him mouthing the word 'Fuck'. "Damn, I love you, dollface" He said, replacing his digit with his mouth. He was rough and needy in the kiss; my own were probably hungry and begging.
He broke away from the kiss, kneeling back down in front of me. He toyed with the stretchy part of my panties, twisting and feeling the lacey material. I hummed, "Please", barley above a whisper. "Please what?" He asked sharply, scratching my hip bone as he continued to fondle with my underwear. I whimpered, "Please daddy" He smirks at how much control he has over me. Finally, he begins to slide my lingerie down, taking his good old sweet time. I lift my hips slightly as the material skates across my hips, exposing my woman hood. I close my legs as I feel the mixture of Tyler's breathing, and the rush of cold air. Trying to regain the moment, I use my toe to point to where he should throw my lingerie. He snickers, throwing it to where I pointed. "Dont be shy, love" He says in a relaxing tone, resting his hands on my knees. I nodded, letting him spread my legs apart. He let my legs fall to my sides, me finally relaxing, knowing Tyler wont judge. "How can you be shy when you have such a beautiful pussy?" He says, gently rubbing his hand over the wetness thats in my thighs. I choke out a quiet moan, hanging my head back.
Suddenly, he slides 2 fingers in, making me gasp and moan in surprise. It could have been an accident from how wet I was. Either way, he started thrusting his fingers in and out slowly, my body shriveled from pleasure. I heard the sloshiness sound between my thighs as he picked up the pace, him whispering and praising me for how good and obediant I was. I felt the pooling in my stomach increase in intensity as he continued to thrust his fingers in and out. "Oh my God, Fucking hell-Im so close!" I moan out, gripping the sheets roughly. Tyler smirks, picking up his other hand and placing it on my clit, rubbing it hard. I scrunch my face up, preparing for my orgasm.
As time progresses and his fingers continue, I was a moaning mess; hair in my face, lipstick smudged from Tyler's passionate kisses, and just a something you would expect a girl to look like in a porno. He took his fingers off my clit, putting them to his side. Just as I was about to cum, his digits made a 'come hither' motion inside me, making me lose myself and fall over the edge. I fell hard, my body quaking with pleasure as Tyler's fingers didnt slow down. It was like I was falling from the sky, and I wasnt even close to the ground. The corners of my eyes faded to a foggy eroma as I scrunch my eyes and let out the biggest pornographic moan I could make.
I came down from my high, hitting the ground as he pulled out his fingers. Unexpectantly, he brought his tongue down on my folds, giving it a long and slow lick, adding overstimulation. I moaned, what almost seemed like a cry, in pleasure, gripping the sheets for some support. He tried to stay away from my clit, knowing I was already overstimulated enough. I could tell Tyler enjoyed my juices, from the noise he created, vibrating againts my womanhood; making me moan louder. He gave one last lick, making sure to get my clit before lifting his head up. He ran a finger up my folds, collecting the wetness onto his finger. I whimpered, biting my lip. He fit his digit into his mouth, letting his eyes flutter close at the taste. He groaned, taking out his finger with a pop, "You taste amazing-almost like peaches covered in honey" He informed, leaning over me. I giggled as he placed his red, swollen lips onto mine. Letting him gain entrance into my mouth, I tasted myself on his tongue, making the experience even more thrilling.
He pulled away, ordering me to sit on the edge of the bed. I do as told, crawling over to the edge as I watch his sit down on the bed, kicking his shoes off. He layed againts the frame of crib as he started to unbuckle his belt. I shoo his hand away, taking matters into my own palms. He smiled, putting his hands down on his sides. Once I figured out how to unbuckle his sash, I start tugging them down, Tyler lifting his hips up to help me. I threw them to WhoVille blindly, staring at the growing bulge that is still clothed; but not for long.
I tease the erection with my hand, squeezing and feeling it up and down. He groaned in pleasure, tilting his head back so it hit the wall. I smirked up to him, snaking a hand into his boxers and feeling his cock. I recieved a gasp from him, probably cause my hands were a little warm, but still gave him pleasure. With my other hand, I slid down his briefs with no trouble, throwing them somewhere in the room. I took my hand off of his shaft and spat on it, soon returning my palm to it. I began to slowly pump it, recieving low groans and moans. I really want to tease him...but would he approve? Fuck it, im gonna do it. I use my index finger to gently rub the slit of hit cock, moving it downward from the shaft to the end. "Stop teasing me doll, you wont like the outcome" He growls, biting his lip. I giggle, staring at the beads of pre cum oozing out of the slit.
I lifted my head up so it was in birds eye view of his dick. Suddenly, I felt a hand snake through my hair, pulling it out of my face. I glance up and smile as I began to slowly ease my head down on to the bell like tip. I swirled my tongue around the point of it, using my other hand to pump what I didnt have in my mouth. Tyler groaned in satisfactory, letting his eyes close. "I said, stop teasing" He ordered, putting pressure on the back of my head. I slowly slid my mouth down his shaft, him still pushing my head down. I hallowed my cheeks and slacked my jaw, giving him full power of my mouth. His grip on my hair tightens as he begins to bob my head up and down, the wetness of my mouth sloshing with each bob. He gives an 'Ah Fuck', paired with a strangled groan; by far the best noise I heard come out of his swollen mouth.
After a couple of bobs, I figured he wanted to take matters into his own hands, because he starting thrusting his hips up; or in other  words, fucking my mouth. A couple of times, I felt his tip rub the back of my throat, causing me to gag. I moaned around his cock, blinking away tears. "Im almost finished with you doll, just a little bit longer" He explained, his thrusts growing faster and harsher. I nodded, gripping the bed sheets to prepare. I felt his cock twitch in my throat, expecting him to be pushed over the edge; but I thought wrong. He instantly stopped, pulling me off of his throbbing cock with a pop. I looked at him with confusion, rubbing my eyes that were filled with tears, "But you didnt cum yet" I said, making it almost sound like a question. He nodded, "Waiting is the best part. And Id rather cum in that sweet little pussy of yours anyway" He says, adding a wink. I blush intensly, moving my face away from his crotch.
Tyler orders me to take is place, laying my head on the pillows. I do as told, watching him remove his shirt and socks. Once he was out of the way, I sit back, placing my head on a pillow and putting one in the small of my back. He climbed on top of me, letting me take a moment to scan his torso; Tan chest, ink painted into his skin, and the skinny, but muscular, torso of his. He took a grip onto his shaft, teasing my folds with it, making sure it was wet enough. I let out a gasp, moaning slightly. "Are you ready, doll?" He asks, laying his face down in the crew of my neck. "Y-yes" I choke out, biting my lip in anticipation. Immediatly, he thrusted his cock into my enterance, letting out a groan. I nearly drew blood from my lip I was biting so hard. I didnt know he was that big. I sucked his dick, how did I not know?! I whimpered, then moaning; I have never felt so full in my life. I saw Tyler struggling over me, fighting the urge to move. I turned my head, facing over to his ear, "Destroy me" I whispered, smirking internally. His control breaks, he begins to slam into me rapidly, building an incredible rythem that took away my breath. The muscles in his arms stand out above me, holding himself over me, angling each thrust to hit that one spot inside of me that brought me to life earlier.
"Holy, T-tyler!" I scream, wrapping my arms around him, trying to find support for the massive sex we were having. Suddenly, he grabbed the base of my throat, pressing down hard. "What did you say?" He asks harshly, making his thrusts deeper and harder. I grab his wrist, moving it up so it held at the mid of my throat. He smirked, finding a new kink I had. Tyler Joseph holding my throat like this was almost illegal, like taboo; that turned me on more. He answered my wishes, squeezing the middle tighter. "D-daddy!" I corrected in a strangled moan, throwing my head back in pleasure. He was fucking me with such force that the bed frame knocked againts the wall with each thrust. Once again, I felt the pooling in my stomach stirr up. I clenched around him, letting out a pornographic moan. "Close already doll? Pathetic" He spat, saliva sprayed onto my chest, dripping down over my breasts. "Im-oh my God, Im so close!" I scream. He smirked, suddenly slowing down his thrusts. I let out a sigh, feeling relaxed. 
He threw the pillow that was under my back to the side, replacing it with his hands. He picked me up, his cock sliding out of me with a pop. He picked me up as I wrapped my legs around him. He carried me to a local wall, nearly slamming me againts it. He placed his forarm over my throat, holding me inplace againts the wall. "Get ready to start screaming" He simply said, sliding back into me. I let out a groan, my wishes being fuffiled with his raging cock. He instantly started fucking me againts the wall. This position was amazing, he was able to get all the places he couldnt have gotten before. My eyes squeezed shut at the pleasure raking through my body; it hurt so much, but damn I needed this from Tyler Robert Joseph. "I-Im gonna cum, oh fucking HELL!" I scream, seeing black spots appear infront of me as I open my eyes. "Im not fucking done with you just yet, hold it in" He barks, some how fucking me faster. I moaned as I hit my head againts the wall, pleasure struckin. I held onto my orgasm, trying not to let it slip out of my clutch, but with the force Tyler was fucking me at, and the moans and groans coming from his mouth let me loose it.
I didnt have time to warn him that I was about to cum, it just happened. I rolled my eyes back into my head as I clenched around his cock. I moan in pure ecstasy as I cum around his throbbing shaft, closing my eyes tightly. "Since you like to cum without my permission, your gonna c-cum again" He spat, snaking a hand between us and rubbing my clit. I gasped, letting out the loudest pornagraphic moan I could let out. I grabbed the wrist that was rubbing my clit, scrunching my face up and panting histeracally. He smirked and started rubbing faster anyway. I used my other hand to try and push him away; the pleasure was over whelming my body. "Ah ah no you dont" He says, making his forearm push harder on my throat. I lost my oxygen, losing my voice and my energy, closing my eyes. "D-daddy, F-fu-cking he-ll!" I choke out, whimpering. "Hold on, im almost there" He warns, letting his mouth gape open. "Look at me, dollface" He says, removing his hand from my clit and cupping it to my chin. "Let me see those pretty eyes" He says, biting his lip. I open my eyes, staring into his own. They where dialated, the cocoa color ablaze. He panted out a moan, mouth gaping. "Oh-oh, fucking-" He choked out as he spilled into me. His cock twitched and throbbed, triggering my 3rd orgasm. I milked his cock with my convulsing walls, both of us pleasure struckin and talking like we were in a pornographic film. Curses and moans and groans fell from both of our mouths as we rode out our orgasms till we were both too sensitive to continue on.
Tyler leaned his forehead against mine, both of us still out of breath. We shared a laugh at how shook we were. "I cant move" I whisper out, my voice a little horse from my screaming and moaning earlier. "I dont want to move" I add, letting out a sigh. "Me either, Y/n" He says, his voice deep. "I could keep you like this all day and night and not get sick of it" He says, moving away from the wall slowly. I wrap my arms around him for support as he starts to walk back to the bed.
With all the energy he had left, he carefully laid me down on one side; using all of his strength to limp to the other. He plopped down onto the bed, sprawling out. We both inhaled and exhaled deeply, turning our heads to look at each other. "Should I walk you to your house?" He asks, holding out a hand to my cheek, rubbing the skin. I smile faintly, "Ill make up some excuse that I needed some alone time or something-I dont know" I shrug weakly. He smiles his cute smile, the one that was near and dear to his heart. "Im suggesting you wanna sleep over here?" He says, getting under the bed covers. I join with him, "Is that alright with you?" I ask in a sarcastic tone, grinning like a goofball. "Does a piano have a G note?" He says sarcastically. "Ill take that as a yes" I answer, cuddling up to him. He wraps his arm around me, my head laying on his inked chest. "Night, Joseph" I say, only above a whisper. "Night, Doll" ............. I open my eyes to rays of sunshine displayed on the ends of the bed. I feel Tyler playing with my hair, stroking my forehead and running his hands through strands. "Good morning" I whisper, smiling faintly. "Mornin'" He says, turning me so im facing him. We look into our eyes for a little bit; not moving or speaking. All of the sudden, we hear steps from outside the door. Our eyes opened in shock, his big brown pupils shaking in terror of what was about to happen. Neither of us moved, only stared. The door suddenly opened, revealing the one and only, Kelly Joseph. "Tyler, honey! Breakfast is re-TYLER! YOUR IN BIG TROUBLE MISTER!"
(I hope you enjoyed the laughs and pleasures and pains my fanfic has brought to you. Sometimes its nice to have an intense sex dream with Tyler Joseph. But truly, I hope Tyler doesn't read this lol. But anyway, I hope you liked it and cya next time :D)
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shleezaemour · 7 years
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Cause who doesn't want to see Will Solace in panyhose! ( this is smut if u don't like don't read)
Will!! Did you bring ice?!" " Its in the Sink!!" Nico was scrambling before everyone arrived. Will had invited everyone over for Nicos 21st birthday and he was panicking. Nico hated his birthday. Every year it seemed like something bad happened ever since he was 10 and his sister died on his birthday. It was like a constant reminder. "I don't drink I don't know why everyone is coming!" "Your drinking tonight!" "Your supposed to be my best friend why do you hate me?" "I don't hate you. I love you. And I will love you as I hold your hair over the toilet tonight" "Uuuggghhhh" "Oh stop being a drama queen" "I am not a queen" "King whatever!" ———————— The party was in full swing and Nico was drunk to say the least. Everyone from camp was there and pretty much destroying Wills house but he had the Grace to let it happen and let go a little himself. Nico couldn't even taste what he was drinking anymore they just kept making him shot after shot until he began to slur his words. The entire group was circled in the living room and even in his drunk state he felt a certain dangerous energy. Something was about to happen and he didn't like it. Will was in on it too he could tell. Where was his sweet William who protected him from such things? The William who got Nico out of horrible Christmas parties and would have breakfast with him every Sunday. That William was gone. Now a drunk blonde with a twinkle of treachery in his eyes stood before him. "Truth or Dare time boys and girls!!" As he heard he words a burning shot of fireball hit his throat and he almost choked. Nico wasn't keen on games. Alas his friends were not taking no for an answer and since he was the birthday boy he was being told he was obligated to play. They said they would be nice to him. They are liars. Except Will. Will would be nice to him. Nico decided sitting on the floor between Wills legs was the safest route. Maybe if he made himself look small they would skip him (not that he wasn't small already he barely broke 5'4") Sitting and being good and drunk he leaned on Wills legs hoping he wouldn't get the spins. Annabeth was first. "Leo! Truth or dare ?" "Truth" "Is it true Jason had to take you to the hospital last year to get something out of your ass and if it is true what was the object...?" Nico thought he would die. Wow thats how we are starting out? Gods help him! "True... and it was a toy car" Laughter ensued and Will grabbed Nicos shoulders squeezing them to keep from falling over. Damn will was strong. When did he get so strong? "Ok I pick Piper!" "Bring it on sea breeze!" "Truth or Dare!" "Dare!" "I Dare you to.... give Annabeth a lap dance!" Piper didn't even hesitate even know full well that this was just a ploy for him and Jason to store something away in their spank bank. Piper was a good dancer though. Taking it to the point that she actually stripped down to her underwear with the dance. Nico had never seen a naked girl before (live) but he could appreciate Pipers pride in her body. Will leaned in to whisper. "Kinda makes you wish you liked girls huh?" "Gods no. I have enough trouble handling my own equipment let alone a whole new set that's nothing like mine" "So your gay out of laziness?" "Total laziness. That and a good dick is to good to pass up" "Very true. I like both so I must be an over achiever" "Yeah you do that. Good luck with it too. " "Oh your just salty cause you want my dick" "Ha yeah so salty! Maybe I just don't want someone who will sleep with anyone" "Prude!" "Slut!" They fell into eachother in a fit of giggles. "Hey you! Will want to share what's so funny with the class?" Jason bellowed. "Oh yeah I'm a slut!" "Oh that's no fun we all knew that" Will threw an empty solo cup at his head. "Truth or dare Will!" "Dare" "I dare you to switch outfits with Reyna!" Reyna had on a sundress with polka dot pantyhose. This was going to be a site! Both of them escaping until the bathroom the game continues. "Nico truth or dare" "Truth" "When was the last time you got laid and with who!" Fuck "Oh shit ummm. That would be.... wow a year ago! Damn it's been a year! His name was ... fuck what's his name!! I think it was Butch from the Iris cabin. " "You fucked Butch! I didn't even know he was gay!" "His mother is the rainbow goddess guys.. so yeah I had a one nighter with butch a year ago around Valentine's Day. I think we were both just super lonely" Will emerged wearing a yellow sundress and Reyna had on Wills stupid blue tank and khaki shorts. Wow they were the same size? Who knew? Going back to his seat Nico was back sitting between his legs and studying the pantyhose. Will has ripped holes in it. "Percy truth or dare!" "Oh Solace what do you take me for! Dare!" "I dare you to kiss Jason " Percy marched right over to Jason and straddled his lap planting a full on the mouth pretty sure tongue was involved kiss. "I won't lie Neeks that was a little hot" "Not as hot as you in that dress!" Will blushed. "Maybe if your a good boy I'll let you take it off me later" Nico choked on his beer. "Your such a slut" "You know it!" Will made a show of crossing his legs and fanning his face like my sister does when she's embarrassed. He was kidding right? Many more truths and dares were passed around lightning fast. Leo had to take a shot of hot sauce. Jason had to admit to falling asleep naked next to Percy's at his bachelor party. Hazel had to sing a Broadway song as if she was on broad way. Percy had to twerk upside down against the wall and in doing so broke a lamp. Reyna had to admit she went down on her professor for a better grade on a test. The night was starting to come to a close but it was a good close. Nico was happy with the party happier than he thought he would have been. It wasn't to big but it was loud. Wasn't to crazy but some shit was broken. Nico was drunk but not throw up won't remember a thing drunk. Only slightly uncoordinated. Will still in Reynas sundress mind you walked Nico up to his room. As best friends they were not strangers to sharing a bed. "Will thank you for talking me into this" "Your welcome Neeks. Your always so sad on your birthday I wanted to see you happy" They both collapsed on the bed. Will was still in the dress and panty hose. Reyna kept his clothes and fell asleep on top of Leo downstairs. "I'm to drunk to undress myself you need to undress me" "Ok you undress me too" "Ok" Both started taking clothes off in a very complicated hilarious way. "My shirt is caught on my earrings Will!" "Sorry I just ugh why do you wear a million layers!" "Cause im cold! I'm always cold!" "Get on your stomach ill unzip the dress." Nico started to unzip Will revealing his very tan and freckled back. Wow he must be working out again Nico thought. Ripping he dress over his head Nico realized that Will wasn't wearing any underwear under the pantyhose. Gulping audibly he looked away. And fell sideways to his pillow closing his eyes. Will flopped back as well so that they were face to face laying down. Will reached for Nicos belt and started the process of removing his pants. "I can see your dick through the pantyhose Will" "Yeah well I'm about to see yours too so I think we will be even" "What why would you see mine?" "Cause I'm taking off your pants prude!" "Yeah but you leaving my underwear" "No I'm not I know for a fact you sleep naked" "How do you know that?!" "Cause I walked in your room once to wake you for breakfast and your covers came off and your ass was showing" "How dare you look at my ass!" "It's a nice ass stop being a prude" "You think my ass is nice?" "Dude I'm kind jealous. I work out like 4 times a week and you eat chips dipped in milkshakes and you are skinny and toned." "Genetics what can I say" "Are you going to open your eyes and look at me when you talk?" "Your pretty much naked" " So are you! I just stripped you. And I'm looking!" "Slut!" "More like pervert I would only be a slut if I made a pass at you" Nico opens his eyes. Instead of looking down he looked at Will. The spray of freckles that danced on the bridge of his nose was glowing. He was always so adorable when he glowed. Reaching over he pushed Wills long hair behind his ear. Will leaned into Nicos touch. Nico began to shake slightly. That feeling was filling the room. The feeling of when your a little drunk but your in a bed with someone and your wondering "what if?" That tension that makes you restless and cold. Cold everywhere except your ears. That magnetic pull. This was Will though. His best friend. Will was the only friend he had that was not straight and that was the biggest reason he had never gone for him. Nico needed someone to talk to about sex and lovers and the like. Needed that friend that got where he was coming from. Fear filled him as he realized that with just a few touches he could ruin all of this. He could sleep with Will. It would be awkward tomorrow and they would be fine at first and then he would stop coming over on sundays and then the texts would become fewer and fewer. The thought made him feel like crying. Losing Will would be heartbreaking. "What are you thinking about?" "You I guess. Losing you." "Why would you ever lose me?" "Because I'm drunk and I'm horny and I can't stop looking at your freckles and I can't stop touching your hair" "Oh that's a coincidence cause I've probably looked at your lips like 12 times since you started touching my hair"' "You feel it to huh?" "Yeah I started feeling in stumbling up the stairs. Your adorable when your drunk" "Your pretty adorable in those pantyhose even if your erection is stretching out the front" "Oh the prude is peeking is he?" "Its kinda hard to ignore pun intended" Will reached out and started trailing his tan fingers down Nicos pale skin. It was smooth and flawless like alabaster. Will could feel Nico shaking. They were going to fail this test. "Are you cold?" "No" "Your shivering" "Actually im trembling. Your touching me. Your touching me and I want you to" "Nico?!" "Yeah" "Since your being bold right now and I know it's the alcohol but I need to ask you something." "Sure " "Would you kiss me?" Nico leaned in and was inches away from Wills lips. Looking in his eyes he saw they were dilated and with just a thin lapis ring around them. Fear kept him from breaching the gap. He could still pull away. Will decided to crush Nicos fear and breach it himself. Slowly. Touching his lips just barely with his just a brush really. Not quite a kiss just lips brushing lips. Nico was full on shaking now. Whispering against his lips Will encouraged him. "You won't ruin anything Neeks. I want this ok." "O-ok" Nico pushed into Wills mouth full force killing the fear residing inside him. Will pulled Nicos body into him as he kissed him. Nico could feel Wills erection through the pantyhose against his own. Nico tangled his hands in Wills hair. Taking his nails across Wills scalp Will moaned a deep growl into Nicos mouth surprising Nico into opening his mouth slightly. Pushing his tongue into Nicos mouth. The kiss was like fire. A heat spread across Nicos skin causing him to move and grind against Will. As much as he didn't want to admit this he wanted this. Nico wanted Will. It's funny how you could be best friends with someone and never think about them in a certain way and then it's like glass shatters and you find yourself needing them physically as well. Will moved to take the pantyhose off. Nico grabbed his wrist. "Leave them on. I think it's hot" Nico said into Wills ear and then as he completed the sentence wrapped his mouth around the cuff of Wills ear doing circle 8s with his tongue down to the lobe making Will buck his hips against Nico. Will had never thought of Nico as kinky. He should have though. With as prude and self contained as Nico was Will should have known he was a secret freak. Breathing against Wills neck Nico came up for air and to ask... "What do you like? What's on and off limits I don't want to ruin this doing the wrong thing" "Umm I... oh damn that feels amazing! Um I-i am versatile I don't mind topping or bottoming. I like dirty talk too. I-if you want to top your going to have to prep me really well I haven't had anything in there in like 4 years. I-I like teeth. Anything with your teeth.. I don't like tickling I don't like riding im terrible at it I never get he rhythm right..." he explained in a breathy moan. "You?" "Ok I'm good with all that. Your a little to tall to ride me anyway but I'm topping tonight it's my birthday damn it. I-i like it pretty rough I may be small but I'm not made of glass. I like a little pain. I like facials and swallowing and I'm pretty flexible. I also want to rip those hose apart when I fuck you!" Will shook at Nicos words he had never heard him speak like this and it only made it hotter. Pre cum was soaking through the hose making a large wet spot. Nico cupped him through the hose glazing his palm in it. "Wow your so wet for me already.." "Oh yeah that's thing with me. I get super wet but don't worry I'm not close yet" "Oh I hope it I want this to last a while. It's been a year since I've had sex" "Damn why didn't you tell me sooner no wonder you have been bitchy" "Listen you little cock slut if you want my dick inside you tonight be careful with the snark. Cause I will edge the fuck out of you" "Oh I'll behave babe I want you" Good cause I'm about to make you feel really really good" Nico pushed Will on his back and crawled down then bed. Gripping the hose he started to mouth his was over the hose lapping up Wills wet spot. Bunching the blanket under him fisting he sheets Will cried out watching the erotic display. "Fuck Nico oh my gods please...!" He could feel the smooth wet texture of Nicos tongue up and down his erection and licking over his balls. Gods was this the same person that was his best friend? If Will knew it was this good he would have done this years ago. Reaching under Will Nico ripped a hand sized hole in the hose over Wills entrance. Will grabbed for the nightstand. Fishing out lube and a condom he threw the bottle down the bed. Nico spread a little over the tips of his fingers. "Spread!" Will complied instantly and felt Nicos fingers circle his puckered hole. Will hadn't told Nico but he never actually had anyone breach him before. Sure he had used a few toys but no one has ever fingered him. He has also never bottomed. Honestly he has no clue why he told Nico he would bottom. Maybe because it was Nico. The trust maybe. He has never trusted anyone to but he trusted Nico. Also he was not going to ruin this by telling Nico he was a bottom Virgin while he had his fingers in him. That could wait til a better time. The lube was cold but Nicos middle finger entered him. Will thought it would be uncomfortable but Nico was surprisingly gentle. Maybe it because he has small fingers. Also he was distracting him by tonguing his dick through the hose. Pinching the hose with his teeth he ripped another hole giving Nicos mouth full access to him. Nico swallowed Will with a confidence he had never seen his best friend have. Looking into his eyes the whole time never breaking eye contact. Teeth grazed the head of his dick and the sight of Nico baring his teeth at him almost sent him over the edge. Nico added another finger. "You keep that up Di Angelo and I'm going to cum full force in your mouth." "If you do that in just going to spit it back out onto your dick and stroke you through til your hard again." Will decided that at that moment at those words he was going to choke Nico. Grabbing the back of his hair roughly he pressed the Italians head down onto his cock until he could feel him in the back of his throat. At that same moment Nico got his revenge by crooking his fingers inside him pressing on Will prostate. Everything in the room flashed into negatives. Bliss pure unadulterated bliss shot up his spine. Will had done that move to other people before but had never experienced it himself. It was mind blowing and earth shattering. Sitting up he grabbed the condom and ripped it open with his teeth. "Stand up off the bed now!" Nico removed his fingers and stood. Will put the tip of the condom on his mouth. Grabbing Nicos hips he pulled him forward. Pulling back his foreskin Will lowered the condom into Nicos tip and and rolled it onto Nicos length without any help of his hands. Bringing his mouth up he did a few long deep bobs before releasing him from his mouth. Grabbing the lube he prepared Nico to enter him. "Where did you learn that whorish little trick?" "HBO?" Nico cut him off with a rough kiss straddling his hips on the end of he bed. For both of them being as drunk as they were the aspect of sex had greatly increased their coordination. Nico was biting his lower lip as Will trailed the tip of his tongue along Nicos upper lip. Nico seemed to be the king of the build. He would work you up and then bring you back down over and over. Wills stomach was getting messy from the lube. Nicos erection kept poking it only making Will more and more aware that he was about to get fucked. Pulling back Nico got off Wills lap. "Turn the fuck over!" Complying Will got on all fours. Nico began to rip the hose more up his backside. Positioning Will into a reachable height Nico hovered his tip over the prepped entrance. "You ready for me Solace?" "Gods yes!" Placing both his thumbs either side of Wills hole he slid himself into him. Pushing slowly until he was fully seated. Will was panting and fisting the pillows. "Tell me when to move" "Oh just fucking move your driving me nuts !!" "You asked for it!" A snap of Nicos hips caused Will to cry out letting Nico know he had angled correctly to hit Wills prostate. Picking up speed Nico removed his thumbs taking his nails down Wills back as he slammed into him. Bringing his head down he bit into Wills side causing Will to whimper Nicos name and hearing that sent goosebumps across Nicos pale skin. "You like that Sunshine?" "Yeah only next time do it harder!" Nico bit down into Wills flesh leaving teeth marks and a reddish purple rose on his side. The build in his gut was getting close but he didn't want to finish like this. "Turn over I want to see you!" Obeying Will flipped and wrapped his legs hard around Nicos skinny waist. Nico slid in easily brought him arms under Wills shoulder blades. They were eye to eye nose to nose. The constant snapping of Nicos hips and the feeling of Wills erection sliding between them from the sweat made Will whimper into Nicos mouth. "You feeling good..?" "Oh fuck yes " Nico thrusted harder. Will was close he could feel it the way he clenched around him. The whites of his eyes were all Nico could see as Will lost himself in him. The sight of it sent Nico to his bliss as he emptied himself into Will shuttering and moaning. Pulling out quickly he crawled down to take Will into his mouth once more. Replacing his fingers inside him he worked in and out bobbing his head taking in every inch of him. Bursting in Nicos mouth with a sharp cry and heavy breathing Nico swallowed the spurts of salty arousal until Will visibly relaxed. Leaning over him his hair brushed his best friends stomach trying to get his breathing under control. Reaching down he removed the condom from his now wilting member and threw it toward the waste basket. He missed. Oh well. "Are you going to stare at my belly button all night or are you going to join me back up here?" "Yeah yeah give me a second" Pulling himself up the bed and next to Will he laid on his back. "Do you have any water?" "Yeah on the night stand. Give me some too." Nico took a few large gulps. With the last mouthful he kept it in his mouth and hovered his mouth over Will. Dripping the water from his mouth into Wills. "Ha and your asking me about where I learned slutty tricks and you pull that move!" "Yeah well I have HBO too." Pulling Will into a deep and languid kiss he took his time with it trying to pour a little emotion into the action. Will was his best friend and Nico didn't want him to feel neglected after. "Are you ok?" Will asked as the kiss broke with a sweet hum. "Yeah I'm fine. More than fine really. That... that was... oh I needed that." Will stared into Nico as they held eachother in their after glow. "Nico?" "Yeah?" "Do me a favor would you?" "Sure. Anything " "Tell me you love me. I know it's a lie but.. I need to hear it. Nico peppered little kisses on Wills face. The corners of his mouth. His eyelids. Dragging his nose along the plains of Wills jawline. "I love you. And it's not a lie."
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animuras · 6 years
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best wishes for the holidays [drabble] [start]
this ‘drabble’ got crazy out of hand and I’m not gonna finish it in time, so we’re breaking it into parts. i’ll get the first two out now, and then update as i finish.
          part i Souta doesn’t see the present for a while. Not for the usual reason, because he isn’t at his own place at all, but at Roma’s, sleeping in a nest of pillows and blankets and the scattered ashes of any dignity he might have ever had. No, he’s actually been in his own room more, trying to see if bashing his head into a different wall will make a difference.
December, December is always busy, only this year, there’s nothing to do. Nothing left to be busy but his own messed up fractured brain, and honestly, after months he’s getting tired of that. You’d think with 25 years of repressed trauma his mind could get more than a couple months of horrific waking nightmares before it started getting repetitive, but most of his life had been empty repetition, anyway. Repetition and habituation. There were only so many things left that could qualify as nightmares and Roma singing off key at 3am had most of them beat at this point.
Most of them, but not all. There’s more left, even now than he’d like. He tries to pretend, like he always has, that he’s fine. After all, there’s entire other universes of anime to watch, novels to read, video games to play. Brand new gacha games, even. It’s almost enough to smear globs of white-out over the days he can hardly remember, knocked off balance by the passing smell of some specific flowers, or the wrong shade of purple hair. There are days when his sides ache, when the scar on his chest feels like its bleeding, when the kakuhou under his skin feel like they’re tearing him apart from the inside and he just lies there hoping they really will, really eat him alive after all this time, just like he’d asked so many years ago.
It’d gotten better for a bit, certainly. Even with the odd Zombie Apocalypse. But, as if on some kind of alarm, as soon as the calendar had flipped over to December, that same month is baby of a boss had marked up on the wall, the gears he’d barely managed to get turning started to spin out again.
It’s almost been a year, give or take an entirely different universe’s counting of time. A year since he’d felt that old man’s blood splash up over his gloves, since he’d felt the give of his sinew and bone under katana’s forged to defend him. A year since he’d conducted that orchestra, hallways of his childhood painted red, redecorated with corpses.  All that waiting and a year ago it really, finally started, he’d dragged the boulder to the top of the hill at last. All that was left was a few quick months of it rolling down, down, down.
And it had, hadn’t it? It had even crushed him under its weight like he wanted, in the end. What more could he have wanted. Would it have made any difference at all if he’d been able to make it through the next few scenes? Would the world have cared? It wouldn’t have mattered, really. He’d have been dead either way.
Maybe he’d have been here, either way, too, spending December in a new universe, (some computer simulation, maybe, he doesn’t even know,) not able to tell the difference between dreams and waking and memories, and too tired to bother to push them away by the middle of the month.
He lays in his bed and watches them, sometimes, the memories and nightmares, the video reel of his life with all its scratches and tears from being played like this so many times on a faulty projector. They transition seemlessly between things that really happen and things that never did, between fact and fiction, recall, imagination, dream, nightmare. If the screaming is real, really coming from outside his door or window, he wouldn’t know. He wouldn’t care.
He watches Kijima tap dance across his floor, his head cut in half, spraying blood everywhere and thinks, with annoyance, how hard all that will be to clean, hopes his roommates, wherever they are, can’t hear the thudding of that peg leg, and its only when the patchwork man phases clear through the wall that he remembers there’s no noise, no blood, not really. The wall beyond him shifts and he’s at Itori’s bar, her usual choice of music playing in the background.
The last thing I need is to get drunk, he thinks, pushing the bottle away from him. How many days has it been since he’s slept?
“How do you know you aren’t sleeping right now?” Itori lilts at him
“I don’t,” he says. “I never do these days.”
“I have to say,” Uta says from beside him, “the scientists have amazing timing, don’t they?”
Souta turns, looks at him from across the cafe table, a cup of hot black coffee in one gloved hand.
“There I was, so excited to see what Tokyo had to offer, but life is never so kind as to give us what we want.”
That’s true, he thinks, as the scene continues to play.
“I can only guess how frustrating it is to have such closely calculated plans interrupted in this kind of way.”
That’s also true.
“Killing your dad so easily… your inspiration is truly priceless.”
“So,” his own voice says, though it takes him a second to place, “They’re all dead then?”
Huh? His head buzzes, and the cafe around him shifts and he was back in that office,  then nowhere at all, then lying in a bedroom, staring at a strangely familiar white ceiling. He sits up, and looks down to see a small silver star in his hand.
Holiday presents were just as bad as birthday presents. Usually food or something consumable or trash, right? And yet here he is.
A wish, huh?
Huh?
There’s no star here at all, no poster on the wall, in fact, this room looks nothing like that. Dreams again, strangely banal dreams.
Which is when he sees the present. It’s not a star, but then dreams like to make those subtle and stupid changes. This must be why he’d put that silly one together.
He knows right away this was another plot of this hell without even looking at the strange name on the tag. He should throw it out. What reason did he have to think this... present would be any more amenable than anything else about this city.
Deja Vu, probably from the dream, nags at the back of his skull. He should just leave it be—
[ part ii ]
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bjornartesttest · 7 years
Text
May 2017
So its now been around two months since last post. There has been some changes, but no major changes I would say. Lets see
Work:
I helped Agatha  with her school project, a relatively quick project that went pretty smooth. I cant say I had too much of a say in it though, as she had a very clear idea about how she wanted to go through with it. We had a launch at the top of The Thief with loads of readings and performances. Fun, but also a bit exhausting. I did it for free, on a very short notice as a friend. Ive been doing that quite a lot for her. Its still mainly fun, but I am also a bit unsure about her processes sometimes. 
I also made a catalogue for Vårutstillingen that went pretty well recently, so they already hired me to do a project for them in August. Other then that I helped Trollkrem with a little floor text for their exhibition at HaIK, and I am still working with Tableau on their website. She keeps on changing stuff witch is kind of frustrating (Tove), but Im just going with the flow and helping her when she needs me. Easier that way, + we need to keep a good tone. Hopefully we are soon done!
Me and Morri are also working together on a project atm for Stavanger Kunstsenter, together with Geir Haraldseth. Its been quite nice I must say - we have a quite nice tone and inspire each other I think. We have been thinking about doing more work together in the future and I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I am thinking about doing a career change next winter, and I think if I have people like him to work with that would make a change like that quite fruitful. I am also potentially working with this other guy, Alex on a small project but we keep on extending the deadline and now he is considering moving to England, so lets see..
Basically what I need to do it to sit down properly and think though things. Step by step, and gradually make the rigght moves. It would be great to go into the summer having thought properly about this so I can spend some time to digest and take it in. I need to head full on this fall if I am going to make it work, and I need to make a proper busines plan and some savings. Ideally I need to save up money to cover my basics for about 6 months. Thats about 70.000 NOK. Can I save up 70.000 next fall?? Next week me, Harald and Saga will have a study group about a book Harald recomended. I will buy the book today. 
At Bleed Ive been working a lot with Visit Norway and a project for them regarding safety in nature. Ive been given a lot of responisibility, and its been quite fun. I went to Preiestolen for a week f.ex to Art Direct 5 movies. Now Im finalizing the project and am hoping that it will end up smooth. 
Im also the leader of Grafill Grafisk design, and would really like to make a bit more out if it. I dont think I am goving it the attention it needs atm, so I will talk more with Sara about this today. How can we make the most out of this??
Relations:
Me and Ingemar still hang out a lot as friends and that’s working out relatively fine. Hes still a bit much to handle sometimes though. Last week he started dating someone new. A 22 year old, super sweet and stunning guy from Rogaland. At first I was weirdened out by it and not quite sure how I felt. Was I jealous? Did I feel old? What was I supposed to feel? Everyone also got quite drunk and they started kissing very openly in the middle of the room, in fornt of everyone. I think my reaction was that I just got a bit numb and not sure how to focus my thoughts. I ended up sitting down with them and talking with the new guy and I really liked his personality.  I think he is good for Ingemar, and I think I can get used to seeing more of him, and also letting my friendship with ingemar more normalized. It feels kind of like he is a younger brother, or something a long those lines.
After the last time I wrote, I asked Germain what he wanted, and he was honest and straight forward about him not being in the right space to move forward with me. He got in touch agin a few weeks ago and we met. We tried to have sex, and the chemistry was gone. I think I got a bit overwhelmed by it all. It has felt like so many failures and rejections in the love-sector lately and I think it definitely put me a bit down mentally. I had a long break from both seeing and meeting up for hookups with boys, with was really good for me. A slow build up that made things more calm and made me stronger and more focused mentally. Having that said I recently had a setback. After easter holiday I sort of went all overboard and digged bit too deep into things - meaning sex. It was soooo nice to have sex, feel passion, skin and lust again after such a long break that I sort of just lost myself a bit into it again. During the past of 4 weeks Ive probably had 15 sex partners, at the most seeing 3 boys in one day. Why? And should I feel bad a bout it? A lot of it is really hot, but I often end up feeling broken in the aftermath. Like I give a little bit of myself each time, and then I loose grip on myself a bit and get this feeling of not begin in control anymore. Its like just urging for more more more more and then then more you get you get this bad tasting sauce. For instance, I met up with a two different guys the to days prior to my lat meeting with Germain. How could I possibly find more room for him from a passionate point of view after that? I could hardly even get it up.. Also, because Im on PreP Ive had more unprotected sex. This again has lead to me now having a STD (not sure which one yet), with is also extremely downgrading, as its only about a month since I tested myself the last time. I am working as a voluntair - testing people for STDs for goods sake. I should be able to have a more grounded relation to sex myself too then no? I think maybe the goal here needs to be that I can see guys for sex, but that I need to cut down on my availability again, as it gets a bit too much into my head. Once every now and then is OK, but not more then once per week. You can do that. Other boys.. Ive met a few great guys here and there, but I am not in a place where I am ready to chase any one right now. Why can’t someone chase me for a change? Lets see what time brings. Vegard and Sigbjørn has a very cute friend called Ole. He added me on both instagram and Facebook so maybe thats good for something. Max is also in town now for a few weeks. Maybe Ill send him a text and checks out if he wants to meet up for a bottle of wine some day next week. Caution though: Max really got to my feelings the last time. Better safe then sorry?
Roger texted me yesterday, like he usually does every 3 - 4 months. Sweet messages. Hes thinking about looking for a new job. Exciting and scary for him I guess. Im missing his lust for me a bit still. 
Friends
I have been hanging out a lot with some new friends of mine quite a lot lately - Vegard and Sigbjørn (a couple). We have met almost every week, and have been on holiday trips together as well as going out quite a lot - also togehter rwith Ingemar actually. Sort of a new unit. Its been really nice to bring in some new perspectives and positive people in my life. I feel I can be 100% myself, and talk about the good and the bad, and they generally make me feel very secure and rooted. We are also heading to Tel Aviv this summer - looking forward.
Life
Someone read my tarrot card last week. It said I had 3 previous love interests that all were differetn and very important for my past developemnt. Duh: Roger, Antti and Tim. It also said that I was in a good place professionally, that I was a good leader, a high performer and ambitioius. For the future it said I would go though a huge change thatwould be really challenging and make me see life in a different way. I could expereince health issues, so I should look after myself. Im thinking this change might be 2018. Lets make the change as proactive and challenging in the rigth ways so I can land safely on the other side...
Other:
Im going for a weeding to Deepti my first girlfriend this week in Kristinasand. Indina/Norwegain wedding with loads of lovely old friends. I actulaly think it will be really nice
The week after Im heading to Lisboa for a weeked to viit a guy I met in Kirgizistan last summer. He is tiny, has a big dick, and a scooter. lol.. I think it will be a fun weekend. 
Im going to Tel Aviv this summer with Benni, Vik, Kris, Vegard and Sigbjørn. Were watching Britney.. hehe. wil be fun. 10 days in a huge appartment. After that Im heading to Kenya to hang with Carmen. Were doing safari, beach and some mountain hiking. Ending it all off in Berlin. Probably broke as hell...
Ok thats it for today!
To do:
- Make 6 month plans
- Talk further with Morri
- Plan Grafill more in depth
- One boy a week
- Book last plane trip in Kenya
- Make a updated better list.....
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rhapsody-in-heaven · 7 years
Text
the “perfect girl”
we met at a club.
i had about 8 shots that night. i wasnt drunk, and i didnt feel like i was doing stupid things or anything like that. but with that about of alcohol you couldnt have called me sober.
you danced pretty well. and with the amount of alcohol i had i blurted out “how do you move like that?!” maybe that surprised you, maybe that intrigued you either way we started dancing. at one point you started making out with me. at first it was fine. it was a night out and i was having fun at a club.
but then it got too aggressive, it happened to much and you came on too strong. but i never told you to stop. because im awkward. and i dont have much experience. and i just dont know how to say no once somethings already started. we were dancing for far too long too. my legs were killing me. and although it was fun at first, it got too long and i didnt feel like i was having fun anymore. and again, you were aggressive. eventually my legs couldnt take anymore and i needed to sit down I thought that that was a subtle hint that i was done. you came with me tho. I was sitting with my legs together  but you swung them apart, came really close and started stroking my crotch. id be lying if i told u i didnt feel uncomfortable. it was hot, i was tired, and i was sitting with my legs together for a reason. still i didnt know how to tell you no. and no, im not blaming you.  you didnt know, i shouldve said something. but i just didnt know how to tell you to stop. maybe you thought i was into it i dunno. i assumed what happens at the club stays at the club, so more or less i was fine. 2am rolled around. the club was closing. you asked if i wanted to go back to your place. I said i didnt think that was a good idea. you backed off. you asked for my facebook ohkay cool - why not? (looking back tho, i regret saying no not that you were a bad guy or anything, but i feel like i unintentionally led you on). and that was that. except it wasnt. you messaged a lot. and in those messages it actually seemed like you wanted to get to know me. that was - unexpected. you told me i was cute and pretty and that you couldnt get me outta your head. and i felt like you were into me. but again, im super inexperienced and i dont like to assume things. you were with me for less than an hour and i wasnt sober. and now i get this vibe that youre into me? very into me. there were times you asked to hang out  and trust me i thought about it. you seem like a fine person. but our schedules never really worked out. plus i felt like you were into me and didnt wanna lead you on. then came kosmic. you messaged me asking if i wanted to get a drink. i said sure. i was expecting to pay my own. but you did before i could get the money out. i didnt want you paying because  1. no ones ever done that unless they were a friend. 2. i didnt wanna feel obligated to stay with you because you did. we talked and chatted and u asked me why i never met up with you. if i just broke up with a boyfriend or had another boy or if u werent my type. “ahh” i thought “he is into me” i told you the truth - ive had two boyfriends ive know each of them at least 18 months before starting. truthfully even now i still dont really know what it was you wanted from me. was it a relationship? was it a fling? if you say youre “into me” i kinda get that i peaked your curiosity enough that you wanna know more about me. if you say you “liked” me, that’s where i have a problem. you know nothing about me. that girl you thought i am is not me. you hung out with me while i wasnt even sober for not even an hour. how can you tell me you like me. you say you can be yourself around me. that its so natural to just be you when your around me. i feel awkward right now i feel awkward anytime a guy ive just met is msging me a lot and chasing after me. thats the real me too. the me who goes crazy with her friends is the real me as well. the me who tries to keep it professional at work is me. and the me who cries herself to sleep is me too. im not trying to pretend to be someone im not around you. so yes i feel natural too  but my natural around you is not a comfortable natural. its awkward natural.
but you dont know that, you dont even know i feel awkward right now. you know nothing about me. you say that it doesnt matter? ohkay maybe for you it doesnt, but for me it does. we talk for a while. well kinda - its loud and to be honest i cant hear most of whats being said. not exactly the best place to have a conversation. you tell me i dont seem awkward like i said. if only you knew how awkward i felt.  this dream girl you have conjured up in your head. the one who you cant get out of your mind. Is. Not. Me. you’ve idealized me into your perfect girl. when the truth is you know NOTHING about me. want an example? you told me that when you go clubbing u usually dunt dance with girls. but you did with me because it felt so natural. i tell you that i dance with anyone i can - thats not to say a lot, thats just to say i dont mind dancing with strangers if its for a night of whole hearted fun. you tell me you didnt know that ....exactly my point. you say we could still have fun tonight. and you start making out with me, so aggressively that I feel like a doll. again, i dunt know how to tell you to stop. you stop for a while give me this shrug like youre done and go in again - and again - and again. “the way you kiss too!” you say. “youre always smiling so i dont wanna stop” I think to myself, im smiling?? riiight i smile when i feel awkward and dunno what to do. omg my personality itself is making him misunderstand.
because at that moment i felt so fucking uncomfortable. i felt like a doll, an object - and yet i still couldnt tell you to stop. im not blaming you, i should have told you, and i really need to learn how to say stop. but if you thought for one second i was enjoying it that just proves how much you dunt know me. it was fine at first, but after it wasnt. and the dancing that night? with you it was never fun. the alcohol in my stomach and the fact ur so aggressive. holding on to me so tight that i felt the need to throw up. and spinning me around so hard you spun me to the ground. yes i had alcohol and i wasnt exactly sober but i danced with others that night but i didnt exactly fall on my butt with them. see when i said i wanted to dance, i wanted to dance with my friends. how do i tell you that this was fun, but i wanna have fun with other people now. i didnt know how. anyways stomach was queezy u were holding onto me too tight. i needed to throw up. so i went to the washroom  it wasnt a lot - out and done with in 5 seconds. i came back out - you were there. i get some water, sit for a while and tell you that im heading back down to the dance floor. you lose me in the crowd. i get a message telling me that youre at the bar on the second floor. should i ever wanna come and “hang”.
ive been “hanging” with you for the last 90 mins.  i actually felt that was 70 mins too much. i ignore the msg. i have fun dancing with my friends. I regret not leaving after the first 20 mins because i felt like the night would have been so much more fun. youve met me twice in person both times i had a number of shots in my system you see how ridiculous you telling me you like me sounds to me?
you say you dont need to know me, im sorry, i gotta call bullshit on that.
how did you feel when you found out that i could dance with anyone? did u still feel like i was the one sent from heaven?
how was it when you started to realize i was right? that the person you like is not the girl sitting in front of you, but in fact does not exist?
ive said this before and ill say this again, even now, i have no idea what you wanted. was it a relationship? was it a fling? i dont know. but telling me you like me without knowing me and trying to get to know me more as a person is not that convincing after you asked me to go back to your place after that first night at the club. it wasnt the fact that i broke up with someone or that there was someone else it was the fact that i didnt know you and didnt know what youre intentions were. i dont mind flirting at a club  and having some dirty fun. as long as it stays there.
and thats what i was doing. i thought thats what you were doing too.
if youre trying to convince me otherwise maybe you shouldnt have made out with me maybe you shouldnt have played with my crotch maybe you shouldnt have asked me to go back to your place. even making out i get, touching my crotch is a step too far, and asking me to go back with you, just feels like youre looking for a one night stand. telling me im the girl you cant get out of your head, who you want to get to know on a more emotional level, is not convincing when you stroke my crotch and ask me to go back to your place an hour within meeting eachother without ever asking anything other than my name and my major. that “perfect girl” only exists in your mind. today you message me saying that you were thinking about what i said. why you found me attractive, because you didnt know me i danced with you for so long and that you love dancing. was there something more you were going to say? it seems like a half finished thought, and honestly im kinda curious. but its been a few hours and even though youre online, you havent replied. maybe if you do - ill be completely honest with you and tell you everything i talked about here (in summary of course) but you probably wont.
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