#but thats another can of worms to open i am sure a bunch of other more people

[boobchuy]

i wonder a lot if anne thinks of herself as a bad friend. like... imagine urself in her shoes, after how she said she's finally happy to be herself, and then suddenly she's faced with three different kinds of betrayals. she sees her loved ones almost die and think they die and then they ACTUALLY die. that's a lot.

logically though, I think she knows she just has really bad luck in this department lmfao.

Still I don't think it's too far-fetched think that she blames herself if even a little bit for the shit storm that is her life rn

Back when her mom accused her of being irresponsible and being the cause of all this, I wonder if there was a single thought in her head that was thinking that it WASNT her fault?

Everytime she's said 'i don't know!' in this show is such a jarring moment for me to remember that holy shit, this kid is literally still 13. She genuinely doesn't fucking know what to do most of the time! how sad is it that she maybe thinks that things would be so much better if SHE wasn't the one doing all this?

She tries her hardest though. As seen by how much she really doesn't seem to want to drag in other people in with her 'problems', from Dr. Jan to her parents, this girl is gonna take on so much responsibility that she's gonna drown in all of it if it weren't for the people around her actually saying that hey... It's fine... We can handle it.. we want to help not bc we think you'll do bad nor do we pity but bc we actually Love and Care about u... And I just

ANYWAYS.

Her wanting to give sprig the bestest birthday he could possibly have was her subconsciously trying to prove both to her best friend and herself that she's still worth it for the people she cares about and the fact that she does all these things without considering the fact that people can literally just love her even WITHOUT any materialistic thing or stuff she can do is a much needed set of words she had to hear I think. Spranne against the world and all that jazz this is the best duo and the bestest friends I love them so fucking much

[blookmallow]

im starting to realize there’s a bunch of connections going on between tma episodes.. i dont know what it Means yet and dont tell me!!!!! ill get there!! but. hmmm. im going through the transcripts after i listen to them to make sure i didnt miss things/checking the details and i just. Keep Finding More Shit, it’s all connected, i feel like there’s something huge going on behind all these and i Do Not Know what it is yet 

this is. very long and disjointed i went through all the transcripts for every episode ive listened to so far and kept noticing more things 

like Don’t Tell Me if im right or wrong ill find out im just gathering thoughts. setting up my little conspiracy board. red strings everywhere

- firstly theres an obvious running thread going about the cursed jurgen leitner books, gerard keay, the. worms. and jane prentiss 

- carlos vittery in Arachnophobia mentions offhand that his complex had an infestation of “small, silvery worms” which passed right over my head the first time but looking at it again thATS THE FUCKIGN WORMS!!!! and martin found. Probably Jane in the basement of that same complex. so. well, (that also means like Who Knows how many people in that building might have gotten infected) (i also wonder whether the spiders might actually be Good, if the worms are hideous parasites maybe the spiders are showing up to eat them/get rid of them, martin says he likes spiders, the spiders almost definitely killed vittery but he was violently trying to wipe them out so maybe it was a greater good kind of thing) (or they’re just spiders and dont have that level of comprehension and like the nasty silver worms. either way) 

- there’s also a lot of Foretelling Of Death but i dont want to go through and list all of those rn

- in Anglerfish, there was some kind of. shadowy hand thing beckoning people into the darkness. Amy Patel in Across The Street describes seeing a similar shadowy hand thing reaching into Graham’s apartment before his. replacement. both of these are described as “folding” in on themselves/moving in a really unnatural way. smoking was also mentioned in both but i havent really been following that as a symbol very closely. possible link with Fire? i dont know

- Repetition. Graham was obsessively filling hundreds of notebooks with the words “Keep Watching,” mary keay’s skin was completely covered in unreadable script tattoos, the paper found by the garbage men was the Lord’s prayer written in latin over and over again, ivo lensik’s father became completely obsessed with fractals and couldn’t stop drawing them. the unnamed burned man in First Aid repeats an unclear phrase over and over again. gerard keay is also covered in tattoos of eyes in First Aid, which was not mentioned before (though probably wouldn’t have been visible before) 

- Graham was convinced he was being watched/followed by Something, harriet was concerned about being followed after she was attacked by prentiss (which. matches with martin’s experience too, though he was much more fortunate), vittery was followed by The Spider, lensik’s father also believed Something was coming for him (and “all the bones are in his hands” sounds very. leitner), and there was. whatever approaching darkness was coming after robert montauk, as well 

- Graham has a weirdly hypnotic table, the first Leitner book found by dominic swain had oddly vertigo-inducing woodcuttings, gerard keay’s eye painting is similarly hypnotic, lensik finds a box in the old tree with the same hypnotic carvings on it 

- not sure if the Spider Apple has any relation to the Arachnophobia episode, but, there’s that, also 

- swain’s book had an image of the sky, which he described felt like you would “fall into it” if you looked at it for too long, and robert kelly sort of “fell into the sky” in Freefall. laura popham describes a sense of being swallowed up by the earth in Lost Johns’ Cave, as well 

- same theme of becoming “lost” in Lost Johns’ Cave and in Alone, similar concepts of being consumed by the earth 

- i dont think its necessarily related to anything else as far as i know but just wanted to mention also i didn’t process the... extra audio recording in Lost Johns’ Cave correctly, i thought she was saying “help me, help me, please help me” which was unnerving, but didn’t really seem all that critical to add, until looking at the transcripts i realized it was “take her, not me” which was a HUGE punch to the gut when i discovered it lmao. dont ask how i managed to mishear that badly but i am very very bad at auditory processing which is why im reading all these scripts to make sure i didnt process them wrong

- Graham mentions he’s gay, and the man who had the dream about gertrude mentions having broken up with his boyfriend, Graham. jon doesn’t comment on this and it’s not necessarily the same graham, and im not sure what the significance is if it is, but it seems like an odd coincidence if it isn’t. “antonio” doesn’t go into detail about why they broke up, but mentions they had been living together 

- the name Joshua Gillespie stands out to me for some reason, like I’ve heard “gillespie” somewhere before, but I haven’t noticed it coming up again in any of the transcripts unless I just missed it. could just be that my brain decided to Remember that name for no reason though. he’s the guy with the coffin 

- jon mentions this, but Breekon and Hope deliveries were responsible both for the weird coffin and the yellow stole from the incident with father burroughs 

- there’s a major ongoing theme of Fire and Burning, both just in general, and a more specific Fire With No Apparent Source thing continuously happening. the prayer paper in the trash had been burned, timothy hodge burned his apartment after the Worms Incident (and martin mentions noticing one of the worms looked slightly burnt - maybe it survived the fire and returned to jane?), sgt. berry was “distinctively marked” by an incident with a flamethrower, the vampires are supposedly very very vulnerable to fire, raymond fielding’s house burned down and his. ghost? disappears with a burning smell and a burnt spot on the floor, lensik experiences an intense, unbearable heat with no clear cause soon after the encounter with raymond, which father burroughs also experiences in his account. the mysterious coffin in Do Not Open had an unnatural heat to it. gerard keay burns the leitner book and picks up the still-smoldering ashes but isn’t concerned with the heat, and then appears again as one of the burned men in First Aid, having apparently experienced second-degree burns on every inch of his skin, but had completely undamaged clothes. the nurse describes feeling a burning sensation when the chanting starts, but dismisses it as a nervous reaction, then experiences the. boiling drink bottles and the burning hot door handles. she says she could feel a burning heat from gerard’s hand. the burned man’s body immediately self-cremates when gerard kills him. lee rentoul also gives specifically a lighter to angela for her Piecemeal curse, though that might be coincidental. he does burn the first box after he discovers it, though

- the garbage man describes the last Weird Trash as “tied off with a dark green ribbon, arranged in a bow like an old-fashioned Christmas present” - which contained a copper heart, possibly symbolizing alan’s real heart, with the rest of his body never being found. this matches both with robert montauk’s killings and the cursed boxes from angela’s curse- “brown paper and string, like an old-fashioned Christmas present.” there was also the weird thing with raymond’s hand, but im not sure that’s related 

the vampires’ victims bodies also seemed to disappear, not sure that’s related either 

- jon confirms that the pendant julia describes (the one belonging to her mother and also her father’s last victim) is a symbol of the People’s Church of the Divine Host cult. wondering if this is related to what father burroughs experienced. gerard keay is searching for a lost pendant in First Aid, but its design is unclear, and he describes it as brass. unsure if related. the fact that gerard’s tattoos/etc were of eyes, and the other pendant is of a closed eye, while one is made of brass and the other of silver seems like there might be some connection though even if it isn’t the same one. there didn’t seem to be any burning involved with the montauk case, anyway 

then there’s. this entire thing im just gonna paste it here, from sebastian adekoya in the Boneturner’s Tale: 

“Books are amazing, aren’t they? I mean, when you think about what they really are. People don’t give the actuality of language the weight it deserves, I feel. Words are a way of taking your thoughts, the very make-up of yourself, and giving them to another. Putting your thoughts in the mind of someone else. They are not a perfect method, of course, as there’s plenty of scope for mutation and corruption between your mind and that of the listener, but that doesn’t change the essence of what language is.

Spoken aloud, though, the thought dies quickly if not picked up. Simple vibrations that vanish almost as soon as they are created, though if they find a host, then they can lodge there, proliferate, and maybe spread further. Still, it is not a reliable method in terms of a thought’s endurance, as humans are fragile creatures, and rarely last a century.” 

this definitely seems relevant to jurgen leitner (and this is. one of the episodes about a leitner book, so) it definitely seems likely that he’s spreading some kind of.... Belief or Self or Power or Something through his books, possibly even his own consciousness is within them somehow, or at least the consciousness of Something or Someone. the man with all the bones in his hands. taking bones and warping them. bones appearing in the pages but Wrong. might be related to the bag of teeth, too, hundreds of All The Same Tooth

definitely something to the... immortalization of thoughts/memories/Consciousness through written word, especially when we consider the words literally tattooed into mary keay’s skin/the book possibly bound in her skin. i cant put a coherent thought together on this but its definitely... important, i think 

sebastian also for some reason specifically mentions he was holding a copy of Stephen King’s Misery in the confrontation with Jared’s mother, which is a story about an author being forced to write something against his will/words that aren’t really his own, to appease someone else, which. seems like it might be relevant somehow too, maybe. the fact that it was named specifically when it wasn’t apparently relevant to the story seems interesting 

[tobacconist]

this is one of my favourite videos on the internet

here is a full transcription:

(southern drawl)

 i know i been gone a while, i just cant seem to get caught up on clients to make regular videos. [coughs] but i did have quite a few people asking me recently, some of my students, about the subject of whats now called ‘live things’ in a person. [takes a drag on a cigarette] now, most people are gonna say ‘its impossible’ that all of us southerners being ignorant folks that we are have mistaken snakes in a person for intestinal worms. [takes another drag on the cigarette] and, thats just not true. anyone that was raised southern, in the south, knows the difference between, like an intestinal worm, and a snake. we got em. yknow, drinkin from water hoses, and yknow, jus different thangs, uh, was the belief on how we got them. now im not a scientist, so, i know you can get intestinal worms from unproperly cooked meat and whatnot, but, we got em. we knew what they were, and we generally stopped getting em when we started chewin tobaccer; so it was more of an ailment that children had. [takes another drag on the cigarette] because, when we got teenagers we all thought wed chew tobaccer like the adults and it would make us cool, yknow. but, the fact of the matter is, we had all seen intestinal worms; and we all knew the difference between a snake and a roundworm. now, when we take that into consideration, the next thing is ‘well it was all slight of hand’ yeah. there was slight of hand. where an individual would vomit into a bucket and when they werent looking someone would throw a snake or somethin in there, but, there are other instances where that would be impossible. [another drag on the cigarette] we have seen individuals open their mouths, and vomit out a snake. not a dead one, a live one. its not uncommon, we just dont talk about it. [coughs] because people dont believe us, and they assume we’re ignorant. now, one of the other arguments is ‘a snake’ cus were just using a snake as an example ‘cannot possibly live inside a human body’ [another drag on the cigarette] that may be true. i am not a scientist but i assume its true. but, the thing is, theres a lot of ‘impossibles’ that we deal with in hoodoo. it is ‘impossible’ for a little bag of dirt and herbs hidden under somebodys porch without there knowing, to cause them bad luck or death or sickness, thats impossible; yet it happens. hoodoo is all about the ‘impossible’. its a science of miracles. now, another thang, and this is one of those thangs that we dont talk about. [another drag of the cigarette] but, i thought id share this, because a lot of people arent gonna understand it. your big problem with trying to wrap your mind around this idea, that someone can put a snake in a person, is assuming that this is a normal garden variety snake. it is not. these snakes are not natural snakes. so keep that in mind. i wont go into big detail on this, but realise that a snake that has been put into someones body is not a natural snake. [another drag on the cigarette] and, yknow, theres frogs and salamanders, and all sort of different animals; spiders, uh, flies, even! um, ill admit to a little slight of hand i did once [another drag of the cigarette] regarding a fly. now flies, for those of you that know, that have ever worked in a grocery store, cus in my younger years i did work at walmart. they often, like, land of refrigerator cases and they become kind of paralyzed from hypothermia. so what i.. if you take em off and hold em in your hand they’ll warm up and fly away. so what i did was, i made sure my mouth was really dry. i basically stuffed a bunch of napkins in my mouth, and dried my mouth out. and i got, i think it was two or three of these flies, and i put them in my mouth. it sounds really gross, but you have to understand what i was trying to do. basically, i was trying to really freak some people out. i held these flies in my mouth until i could really feel em movin around n buzzin. [coughs] i made sure there was some people watching, and i coughed, and three flies flew out of my mouth. its very gross, but, the sheer mindf.. mindgame i played on these people; it really disturbed them. heres this crazy fucker, and hes wearin an alligator foot around his neck, cus this is before we had a dress code that i worked there; and hes coughin out live flies. it was funny as hell, and to this day these people still think i coughed out live flies. which i did. but as for getting back on subject, the live things. i know of a lady, who when she gave birth; and this was documented, and kept very hush hush. even, uh, there was an xray. and this was really crazy, there was a snake in her womb. it was a snake, and it was there. no one could figure out how it got there, but this was xrayed and documented. ... i believe it was my grandmother, i dont know, dont quote me. [coughs] but it was my grandmother, i think, it might have been s.. one of the others i get em kinda mixed up; that told me of a younger child, who opened their mouth, and a snake crawled out of it. these things do happen. i wont tell you the ways i learned to do them; but, dont be so quick to dismiss everything, especially when it comes to things of that matter. we’re southerners. we might not speak the best english, we might have some funny ways; but were not so stupid that we mistake a common parasite for a snake so keep that in mind. um, ill be back soon.

[goddamnmuses-a]

Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones

Alright so I did this for Episode I which you can find here. So.. here’s my weird.. live reaction/note taking/whatever this is.. to Episode ll. 

Alright so.. Once again the opening crawl is very politicy. 

Count Dooku I think is mentioned for the first time in it and Padme becomes a Senator instead of a Queen in it.. which.. is weird. 

The Naboo ships im not sure about.. I like the design but they seem too new and clean for being a prequel. That said they are owned by royalty so i can let it slide i guess. 

“I guess i was wrong, there was no danger at all” *EXPLOSION* ffs Jeff, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut? 

Nooooooo! Not.. Cordey? Omfg that was the worst death i’ve ever seen. Terribly acted. 

Ayy it’s the Jedi avengers, no but like why is like i presume the whole or half the jedi council in this meeting? Shouldn’t they have like 1 representative? 

Yooo thats live action Barriss Offee in the back... hey girrrll ;) 

actually she’s probably supposed to be like 13 or somehting so i take that back. 

 I love just all the traffic flying by the window

YOOOO it’s my boy Jar Jar aka Darth Plagueis the Wise, don’t @ me. 

Spice mines on the moon of Naboo you say? Isn’t Spice a drug but you mine for it.. there are drug miners in Star Wars.. good stuff. 

That elevator would be terrifying. 

Obiwan just like.. LOL I fell into a nest of Gundarks.. what a character I am. .. Love him. 

Anakin like “I haven’t seen her since i was underaged master.. now i can  get my fuck on!”

ALSO ITS BEEN 10 YEARS!?

“Ani you’ll always be that little boy” *Police sirens*

Anakins a little bitch

I think Jar Jar’s ears things are much longer.. but might just be me imagining things. 

She’s not forgotten you, she said your name.. you creep. 

Heeyy look it’s your custom star wars character Zam. 

Obiwan is so sassy

Anakin is pretty creepy towards Padme. 

Those worm things are naasty

Yo tbf that was some smooth lightsabering, they were like an inch tall and right up on Padme and he didnt even hurt her accidentally. I’d have killed her there. 

Obiwan just fucking dives out the window like its nothing. Mad man. 

Zam is the worst, instead of shooting Obiwan she shoots her own damn droid. 

Damn it Anakin, he’s told you to stay away from power couplings. 

Obiwan is just gonna be like “FFS ANAKIN!” this entire movie... well.. Saga. 

I wonder how Jedi pick their robes because like some are very similar and then theres like a few that have darker leather stuff, it’s like there’s a jedi stylist or something.. Someone make that OC. 

 Amazing catch Obi. 

So Obiwan is his real name but he goes by Ben later on and then Ben Solo is named after him but shouldn’t it be Obiwan Solo? 

A changeling, she really is a custom character. 

Yoo that Twilek wasn’t stupidly thin, I’m here for Thicc Twilek. 

What species is Death Stick guy! I wanna know what he does with his life after he rethinks it

I hope it backfires and he’s like “Hey.. I could be doing so much more” and he ends up like the head of a crime family. 

She didnt even change.. so much for changeling. 

....she did when she died i take it back. 

Damn the background Jedi are ugly. 

I like how this shows that Palpatine has already begun manipulating Anakin. 

Still dont understand why Jedi see the balance being a good thing when it’s leaning heavily towards the light side right now. 

Anakin “IM READY FOR THE TRIALS!” .. you aint. You a moody bitch.

I like Padme’s dress. 

Anakin just got warned to back down because he’s being a creep. 

Omfg whats that rape face. 

Dormy or whatever her name is, better actress than Padme. 

Poncho! Cal approves. 

WOO ITS DEX!

Jawa Juice? Ew.

Wtf is the Rishi maze?

Dex suddenly went sinister at the end, why? 

Yess the librarian! She’s the best. I think she has a badass Order 66 story if im remembering correctly. 

She’s very sure about her records though.. calm down lady. 

“No droids” says the droid to the other droid. 

So i presume the head of the Jedi Council is always the one who looks after the younglings. 

Awwh the little babies and they’re all gonna get killed by Creep Vader. 

Yoda is so soft, good dad figure. Best boy. 

They elect queens on Naboo.. thats interesting. 

I love the Jedi fighter look. 

HOLD THE FUCK UP THEY DIDNT KNOW ABOUT KAMINO 

THERE WAS A FUCKING LONG NECKY ALIEN ON THE JEDI COUNCIL IN EP 1.. 

.... some bullshit. 

I should really look into Sifo Dyas

And Why are there not more Clones in Star Wars... 

Other than like.. .. spoilers for.. you know what nevermind. 

I DONT LIKE SAND! HE SAID THE THING

Anakin you creep

Why the fuck would Padme even lean in at all? He’s been nothing but a creep and she’s shown 0 interest in him at all so far. 

The Camino people are pretty chill. 

That was the first bit of actual chemistry between Padme and Anakin 

Omfg the pear, fuck off. 

Also forgot to comment but theres some clear like.. oohhhhhh moments im having with how order 66 got set up. 

Has Padme had an outfit change again?

She’s got her sexy outfit on to turn him down.. seems right. 

Her make up is a bit.. much

Sooo the force is weaker with the jedi because the light sides had it so good for so long that the force is trying to balance out and bring it back the other way, makes sense. 

It’s actually his connection to his mom that brings him towards the darkside to start.. nice. 

Padme trying to be inconspicuous is super conspicuous 

I like that the droid said okey dokey. 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY WATTO

YAAAAY ANI SPEAKING HUTTESE

I love how Watto is happy to see Ani. 

Watto doesn’t deserve the shitty life he ended up with. 

Love some New Zealander up in my Star Wars. 

Seismic charges have such good sound design. 

Thats one hell of a missile. 

Eyyyyy it’s c3p0 it’s amazing how much i’d forgot of this. 

Tusken Raiders are dicks. They know sign language but they’re dicks. 

Even Anakin is like “These are good people”, good. They’ll raise your son. 

Is that general grevious’ voice? 

What the fuck are these aliens

Awwwh noooo she waited just to die in her sons arms. 

Tbf i’d go full darkside if someone tortured my mom. 

You know what.. this Ani is nothing like the ones from the cartoon, he seems like less of a whiney bitch in the clone wars but we’ll see.. 

Cleg Lars’ hover chair is pretty dope. 

Anakin got over hating Obi Wan real quick. 

Even captured Obiwan is a sassy boy. 

Jar Jar as badass as he is.. is basically putting the Sith Lord in charge. 

So far if you dont know that palpatine is the Sith there isnt really anything obvious telling you which is pretty interesting. 

Padme has had another outfit change, another iconic look. 

And so behind the adventures of r2 and c3po

C3PO had a costume change, he’s been watching Padme. 

The fake out they have you thinking Padme is covered in magma is pretty good

Okay then suddenly she loves him.

Also bye bye lightsaber

Genosians are pretty gross

In my head they were always the same as Toydarians for some reason

I like that bug monster, i remember killing them in one of the older battlefront games.. as maybe Aayla Sekura but maybe i made that up. 

Anakin surely got the best one to fight. He basically tames it.

The fucking peck on the cheek, was that needed? 

Droidekas are still cool as fuck. 

Suddenly Jedi. 

The Jedi that made it up to Dooku is terrible, he cant even reflect a few blaster blasts.

Well.. Jango lost his head. 

The smile on that green jedi’s face is beautiful, what a beautiful alien man. Kit Fisto.

Obiwan is an icon. 

Dooku is pretty reasonable all things considered. 

Woo clones!

“Around the survivors, a perimiter, create.” Yoda.. just speak normally damnit. 

Yoo what if Jaro Tapal shows up in the new Clone Wars cartoon season.. i’d lose my shit. 

I like Dooku’s bike. 

Anakin you dumb fuck. 

I always thought Dooku’s curved lightsaber was weird. 

Rey should have done this sick ass catching the lightning trick instead of the two lightsabers. 

Jedi flips all over the place woop. 

As obvious as it is that Palpatine is the hooded Sith, i feel like they dont show his full face because i feel like a little kid might not be able to tell. 

I kinda like how it shows a bunch of clones (the basic start of the stormtrooper) and then star destroyers and it’s like.. heres where the empire started. 

Aaaaaand they’re married? so yeah.. congrats Ani you creeped your way into being a husband. 

[theday]

anyways, ill say bye now... i hope ure well rested and have a good day!! (wait, i remember what i wanted to ask!! at least i think this is what i wanted to ask? anywys, do u know what u want to do now that ure finished w school? if u dont mind me asking, of course, i understand if u think its a bit personal!) ok, now im done, have a good day!! take care and stay hydrated!! (and now i really did send u a bunch of asks..)

omg i hope u dont mind but ill be answering the stuff from ur last ask here (the one where i… deleted everything) under cut bc itll be 2x longer now

so first !!!!! how i got into kpop!!! it was thanks to my good pal (@.briwoon) boxy! i follow her on twitter and despite her being a day6 stan twt i had her unmuted anyway bc.. after years of being an anime blog on tumblr and seeing all my anime mutuals slowly converting into kpop blogs one by one i was able to filter the kpop out of my brain?? smth like that since back then i wasnt into kpop and i didnt want to unfollow since im mutuals with most of them :-0 

another backstory - i was one of those people who never saw themselves getting into kpop? and i think the main reason was bc i thought liking kpop would make u seem lame?? due to the influence from people around me?? but as years went by and as my mutuals changed interests it stopped bothering me and that mindset kind of just? faded away bc who am i to call other people’s happiness bad?? but despite being okay with it i never really made the move to get into any groups lmao that was until i got tired of my interest at that time (seiyuu, japanese voice actors) and my interests would always. not last?? idk so maybe thats why i didnt want to get invested but it happened regardless 

anyway usually i wouldnt take notice of her rts but this . this beautiful man with orange hair and minion glasses caught my eye when i was scrolling through my timeline and i was like o worm? oh mu god? hes beautiful? so i slid into her dms and asked her whomst the beautiful man was and she sent me all their mvs after that from congratulations to i smile (the most recent mv at that time, late june) for me to watch :-D now at that time, from what little knowledge i had of kpop.. i understood that groups would be singing and dancing so i was prepared to see some sick moves or smth?? but then. i clicked on miss i smile and my wig flew off? bc… wtf.? they were playing instruments???? and they sounded good ??? so i was like oh my god? a band??????

before day6 i also had (have) a preference for bands and the way their music sounds so i was like?? ready to just. get on board yknow?? i watched how can i say and i saw the lanky noodle wearing glasses and i was like o fuck mu life? i caved and asked boxy for their names and other information and best decision of my life bc.. they really make me happy!!! after that like the day after ? myabe they did a vlive and i was like o shit? what do i do… so i downloaded the vapp and wowie i love it? its my second home…… i watched every vlive they had at that time and i thought that was a lot… (it isnt, compared to mx) and i was just rly content??

(ok i know u asked for kpop and not … day6 or other groups bc im gonna talk abt how i got into mx and astro too bc…… how can i Not.. u can skip this part tho i just wanna ramble abt my loves? ill tell u when u can continue)

that was peak happiness for me at that time.. until… boxy started talking about monsta x in our groupchat (with @.tokayhk) and she would just ramble abt this kihyun fella (who i vaguely knew bc my real life friend likes him and mx and i bought her his pc before along with the guilty clan part 2) so i was like hmm interesting… and honestly? i wasnt going to get into monsta x i really wasnt planning on asking her abt them (since i was scared id lose interest in day6 right after) but then.. she started linking videos and i .. my resolve crumbled down as i heard monsta x yelling and … this beautiful cover (which boxy sent to show us how powerful kihyuns vocals are but i was 2 focused on mister aka minhyukku) and she told us how funny these monsta men are and i was like o h no…………….. eventually one day in late august i asked her to tell me more about these monstas…… aftert that i watched every mxray episode (starting from season 2 bc i dont know 1 comes before 2) and even though i didnt know anyone who was on screen except jooheon i found it really funny and?? it made me laugh so much i love mx?? ya… boxys kind of like my guardian angel?? shes really the reason im living tbh… introducing me to all these lovely people?? thank u miss boxy i love u

now. for the astrosus….. they were a bit different.. because i didnt have boxys help and they were the first group i took interest in solely bymyself so i knew i was in for a wild ride (at first, i couldnt even differentiate brian from sungjin in day6 lmao) after stanning monsta x and day6 i became more?? open to kpop and i started watching unhelpful guides on youtube bc . they were funnie and idk its nice??/ and i stumbled upon the astro one (which wasnt that funny but more helpful than anythng) and i was like. oh worm? the cicada group… bc i watched a short clip of them catching that stupid cicada in their office as it appeared on my tl one day so i clicked on the video ..and after watching that it led me to another video of astro being extra for 6 minutes and those six minutes/????? best six minutes of my life because theyre so fnny and they made me laugh a lot? (combined with the editing from op) so bc they were funnie i decided to look them up and read their profiles/??? i watched their nimdle video and only knew mj bc his tag was the two letters m and j lol but it really made me bust both of my lungs i just?? laughed A Lot 

im not sure how i managed to put name to face so quickly but it mightve been bc after the nimdle videos i watched every ddoca and astro play as well as their vlives available bc..  i just inhale the content at godspeed?? 

for mx and astro i was drawn in by their personalities before their music because they were on more variety shows and had more chances to show dorky they all are which made it way quicker for me to fall for the two groups??? for day6 its a bit sad but the weekly scheduled vlives arent enough for me to tell what kind of people they are (although those r still hilarious) i just wish they would go on more variety shows?? its understandable if they themselves dont want to be on any shows though!!! i love all 3 groups with all my heart :-D 

ok if u skipped u can start from here ill be answering the questions now lmao

FIRSTof all,,,,, youre learning how to drive?? thats so cool >:-0 we’re not allowed to learn until we’re like...?? 18?? or 21 idk but not so Soon :-( and its cute u think abt me (or of what to say) but pleaseth stay safe... i hope ur driving lessons go smoothly until u end theM!!! hopefully youll be able to get ur licence :-D 

aNDD!!! the thought of drinking warm tea when its cold outside.. is so ?? nice to think about hecc u better drink that tEA and enjoy it !!!! stay warm and comfy miss RM ..... and it even snows there????? thats so cool tbh ?? (i love snow but maybe thats bc it doesnt snow here so i dont know the tru evil of snow but like.... its so.... white and fluffy??) i would ask u 2 take pics and show me but alas...... the time is not right :-( do u know when we’re allowed to expose ourselves?? i forgot rip... but its sometime next month right im excited???? since its near my birthday !!!!! 

ok now to answer this ask no i actually have no clue what i want to be after i finish school?? yikEs but last year i (jokingly) said i wanted to be a farmer??? idk if i might actually do that probably not i guess im just freestyling (going with the flow) for now we’ll see where life takes me 

and like i said u can ask me anything !!! im fine with it :-) alsooooo please dont ever feel bad about sending too many asks bc its a lovely thing to wake up to and i just?? get rly happy when i see all the asks in my activity :-D!!  

[thoughtsgoingthroughmyhead]

You know what i think is wrong? Just by reading this blog, i think all these things youre doing is a rebound. Youre actually not over him and i can tell that you still would like to talk to him and close properly, i think you shoild contact him since u do wanna talk to him. Thats the only way of making it better. U were with him for basically 10 years and only slept with him. And just this year. You slept with 4 other guys. That just shows youre doing whatever you not think of him. Dont be a hoe

Thank you kind stranger for giving me some advice about my life after calling me a skank and whore. But that was terrible advice, if I want to talk to someone I’ll contact a therapist not my ex. Plus he knows about this blog so he can probably see this if he still reads it, which I doubt he does. That’s a can of worms that I don’t think I could ever open again.

One thing you don’t know is that I slept with him while he was married. That was a low point for me. And whenever I was with him I had no control of myself, I can’t imagine what would happen if we ever started talking again.

I like who I am now. I’m not a hoe, I’m just a sexual person. I’ve had multiple times where I could’ve slept with a bunch of different people but I chose not to because well STDs lol. If I was a hoe I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. But thank you for thinking I’m a hoe, smh double standards when it comes to women. How many girls have you slept with, huh? I could count mine on one hand, can you?

Also you got it wrong, Miami guy was a rebound for my first ex. Then I got into a relationship with my other ex. After that I slept with another rebound guy. So two rebounds, two relationships. I just figured out my pattern, thank you!

And aren’t you the one that wanted to sleep with me, Mr. Mysterious from McNair, Texas who’s 27 but his birthdays June 8, 1991? What happened to I wanna fuck you raw, and cum in your ass? You’re a walking contradiction in my book right now.

Also, my life is going good right now. I’m getting somewhere with my school. I’m a more outgoing, confident person. I’ve changed my life ever since he left my life and I’m proud of what I’ve done for myself. Overall I’m happy, and everyone I know can see that on my face. I made myself happy, something I never thought I’d be able to do. So no I won’t contact him, but I will say that you sound just like my ex by saying all of those things. That’s 100% something he’d say. You sure you aren’t posing as a random guy to hide the fact that you’re him lol? 🤔🤔