#but that's true about literally anything he's ever written (which is annoying tbh) and I just don't agree ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry
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why do you talk about Louis using blue and green signalling as if it isn't about Harry, that what the blue and green are- do you not believe in larrie?
short answer for the reading challenged trolls to cut down on asks yes I am a larrie, not that anything is wrong with not being one. But longer (much more interesting imo) answer: We know H and L were together, but no one really knows if they are still or again- I personally mostly believe that they are, but I get why people don't think so and can't see any reason to get pressed about it. But you make a solid point- blue and green and certainly things like Louis wearing the H shirt don't potentially signify anything other than larry right? Well that's what makes it so interesting to me- I kind of don't think Louis IS using those things that way! As my recent anon pointed out (and I agree) he wants people to think he is Freddie's dad, he is not presently trying to be perceived as gay in the face of people trying to force him in the closet- he is in charge of his image and is choosing to publicly put forward that he is a guy who got someone pregnant and dates women. And I do think him and H are together, but I don't think he particularly wants to talk to us about that, if that makes sense? But I believe he does want to connect with his beloved fans on a more personal level, to revel in the acceptance and love and shared wink, I know you know I know, me and you until the end, our eyes meet, together we're the greatest- and I think he uses the larry imagery to do that, rather than to talk about his relationship. I could do this for days he gives us SO MANY examples to choose from but just to pick one: the all blue and green lighting for All This Time. Think about it- if he actually had images of a rainbow flag on the screens at his shows or waved one or something, it would make the articles and press and be a whole thing and revive every rumor ever about him in every tabloid! But if he makes the entire lighting and screens for a song blue and green (or wears a shirt with a giant H on it or any of the other one million coded things he does), well so what? No journalist would think a thing of it, nothing to see here- but the larrie majority of his fanbase hears him saying "you were right about everything and yes I am gay and I love you for seeing it" and go completely bananas! It's fucking ingenious tbh, SBB at his finest! And the fact that the song he chose for his current unhinged bluegreener fest was All This Time was for me the thing that really cemented this theory for me; I know some people disagree, but to me that song reads as being about him being closeted and his public life and the fans and choosing this lighting for that rather than for like We Made It or something really feeds my conviction that he is bluegreening on main as a way to tell us that he is gay rather than to tell us anything about his personal relationship. TLDR yeah I DO think he is signaling, a lot, but I don't think it tells us anything about the status of his relationship with Harry or anyone else and the reasons I think they are together don't have anything to do with Louis' stage lighting choices, but also that means I don't think it makes sense to say he's not signaling anything ever because you don't think they're together; both can coexist and I think it's just weird to act like he's not making pretty clear choices
#yeah yeah like I said I know some people disagree and think ATT is about harry#but that's true about literally anything he's ever written (which is annoying tbh) and I just don't agree ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry#none of us know for sure! your take is as valid as mine! but this is mine#SBB#this is just about Louis harry blue greens and other things like mad too but with him#well I don't feel the same tbh#I think he is talking about Louis specifically much more often#but then his situation around what people think and what he wants them to think is different so there ya go#are you a larrie#eta I don't really think they are still together at this point#but Louis continues to do these things#which to me makes this even more the case#it already made sense to me as not about saying they were together so that doesn't feel strange to me
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so i finished a court of wings an ruin pt.2
let us talk about the men... even though i don't really want to talk about them. for the most part they really disappointed me lol
Tamlin
tamlin is.... trying to be better (at least in the beginning) i guess but there will be no way that he will actually heal & get to move on if not only feyre but lucien as well betray him, use him, destroy him & his court
I was very much interested to see where the story leads him though I had no actual hopes for him to get a redemption arc (which he deserves, I stand by that point argue with the wall)
then he was not trying to do better anymore but now I think he is fully leaning into the villain role which FINALLY gives him the edge that has been missing
because now i see and feel that he has turned his back to prythian because he has really lost EVERYTHING that had importance to him (feyre, lucien, his court, ...). now we can make a good villain out of him, you know?
....
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make up your mind tamlin god fucking damn it, im getting tired of your back and forth DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE WOLRD BURN OR DO YOU NOT YOU ARE WORSE THAN ME AND I AM A SUN LIBRA MOON GEMINI
also sorry but how tf did he survive until the end my mans should have died or been killed on so many occasions bruh
Lucien
see this is what I was hoping for after the first and second book, lucien is so cool & such an interesting character especially considering his (still kinda unexplored) backstory
•so WHY is his ONLY character trait now elain??? please there is so much more to him, give me literally anything else
the descriptions of him fitting into the surroundings of the autumn court are so amazing though I am literally in love
i think its cool how he gets to work with the people at the night court and i hope he gets to work more with azriel and maybe rhys especially with things about autumn and spring court
also loved to see his inner feelings regarding elain and jasminda!! that was such a nice detail to show that he is falling (hard) for elain but still feels guilt about his first love (still annoying though)
... great, written off to go find a human queen... guess thats one way to get rid of a character... could've just killed him if you didn't need him bye
Rhysand
rhysand ... why fuck first talk later? war is coming my dude you can get your dick wet later, after you have heard news and planned accordingly???? Im disappointed 100% ew
but nooooo, instead we get this weird horny political talk... am I supposed to enjoy this?
apart from that he was kinda boring
unfiltered thoughts after he "died": i CANT BELIVE CAN NOT BELIEVE that he died AND THEN WAS RESURRECTED THE SAME WAY FEYRE WAS bro that was the most unnecessary scene i have ever read why make me go through all that tension (again bc it happened with feyre before) just to make him come back to life this is so shit i don't know wether to laugh or cry
but tbh i didnt believe for 1 second that he was actually dead, im sorry but there was no way SJM would have the balls to kill of Rhys lol
Tarquin
unrelated but I miss Tarquin he was cool I have a crush on him <3
he is way too good for the other high lords, i'd rather read about him
Cassian
eh... boring at best, annoying at his worst.
bro what the hell why are you so fucking obsessed with nesta YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HER and clearly she is trying to avoid you take a hint (no that is not romantic its creepy and annoying)
like "no means no" also applies to fae or other magical beings leave her A L O N E
he was so cool in the first book but this time it also feels like his only remaining character trait is nesta (giving very much lucien and i hate it) and maybe a bit of fighting/training stuff
Azriel
stays true to his character (at least in the beginning...)
if feyre is going to butt into his love life more I am going to riot, leave the man alone!
only one who actually pays actual attention to elain (yes, not even lucien does this as well as az) & figures her powers out first
also love how he is obv in love with mor but is neither making this his only character trait (looking @ you cassian & lucien) nor doing everything for her. he is NOT changing but staying true to his self i hope this stays the same
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ah nevermind he just tried to suffocate eris... honestly though I get the like pride & protect my family stuff but arent all of them a bit too easily riled up? all high lords & courts are assholes after all, you guys included. you should know this by now
slay for saving elain
Jurian
now what is this?
wha- why does SJM want to give everyone a redemption so bad (except for tamlin ofc we been knew)
am i really supposed to believe that Jurian has reached clarity after witnessing everything through Amarantha? it was so such a good concept, having a human turn insane and helping those he despised
and (even if its a bad example) would have showed that humans and fae CAN work together after all
all men do is lie. only tarquin slays. bye.
#no characters die in here anyways#except when theyre the villain or unimportant#i fell in love with lucien and then i was given NOTHING#go rhysand give us nothing#tamlin#lucien#rhysand#tarquin#azriel#cassian#jurian#actoar#acowar#a court of wings and ruin
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Collar X Malice: Unlimited Part 7 - Adonis Route
Honestly, I find the way Ichika joined Zero's side to be pretty iffy even back then in the original game, so I kinda hoped something like Kazuki dying would have changed here but I guess not.. I feel sorry for Kazuki that they reconciled but she still ended up joining Adonis alongside Akito, it must be a pretty big shock having to deal with that. (EDIT: guess he is gone..) Ichika being at the top and training people in marksmanship and stuff is very interesting lol. She looks all right with short hair but yeah, I agree with Zero, I liked the long hair more. Anyway, Zero wants her to find out if there's a traitor amongst them before the next X-Day (since the one 2 years ago failed) in 30 days. Anyway, it seems like you go through each of the Adonis' executors' stories so that's interesting. I'm just going to go from the ones I least like to the ones I like the most haha, and then leave Mikuni for last I guess. Well, Hana's story first then~
Kobayashi Hana
I guess Hana is as bright as ever. I quite enjoy seeing her try and dress Ichika up and make her cuter lol. On the other hand, seeing her mercilessly cut through that panda cake was pretty hilarious. One thing I enjoyed insight into was hearing that Hana has been avoiding going to Isshiki's concerts to avoid causing any trouble to them with the police just in case they come to crash it because of her or something. Honestly, I was pretty impressed. Like, she's always been pretty selfish, and she's always prioritised her love for Isshiki above everything, but to see that she could stop herself to protect him was nice in its own way. Even though she's a pretty ruthless killer, and even though she's obsessed with Isshiki, I guess she does think things through a bit so that Isshiki won't ever have to suffer because of her. Hmm Ichika seemed to reminisce about Kazuki, does that mean he died? Anyway, these investigations are short? Are they really just segments of story for Ichika to become friends with each person? Lol. I mean, Ichika literally did nothing but talk about random stuff with Hana lol. I actually find it rather endearing that Hana and Ichika can fight so openly about their feelings and understand that they actually do want the best for each other, it's kinda nice how they became good friends under such circumstances.
Soda Manabu
Honestly, I kinda wish we could just pick one character and continue until the investigation completes because it's sooo annoying having to press on each one like 7 times just to get a couple of lines of story each time Zzz. Anyway, gotta admit Ichika is pretty judgmental towards Soda, and actively tries to "fix" him and thinks what he does is "wrong", which is pretty annoying tbh. Just because she doesn't understand games, she thinks it's useless to Adonis, and then judges him for his eating habits? Lol. Anyway, at least she tried playing his game though lol, and even got lessons from him haha. I see, I can understand why Ichika would go to Zero for "revenge" but not sure about the "sadness" thing if that's what she's going for tbh. Losing Yanagi, Enomoto, Shiraishi, Okazaki and Kazuki is a big hit and I can understand it shattering her world, but going to Adonis is basically breeding everything that killed everyone important to her. Anyway, Sasazuka's pained voice telling Ichika not to go to Adonis really hurt. I'm sure he's really hurting over the fact he didn't notice the weapons that ended up killing everyone, alongside survivor's guilt of being the only one who survived out of the group, and then now not even being able to stop Ichika from going over to the other side.. It's painful to see. Anyway, lmao, Soda is probably a tamer little brother than Kazuki. His words are harsh but you can tell he only talks like that to protect himself, so any time he swears, I don't bother taking him seriously, he's a hurt little kid. It's cute how Ichika mixed his hated eggplants into the gratin and he didn't even notice, but he ate the whole thing happily🤣 He's so adorable lmao, especially when his face went red and he told her he'd eat her stuff again (even though she shouldn't hear it), and then he ran off🤣
It seems like Soda regrets his actions much more than I initially thought. He was able to get revenge, but now he's even more scared of death because of what he had done, and now he's just in this never-ending cycle of fear, needing to have Zero's power to protect himself, doing his bidding so that he won't die, but at the same time being so scared of his life that the only time he probably feels "safe" is when he plays his games. I love how happy he was when Ichika gave him a SS tier rare item and he put it on, locked it and kept it in a special box🤣 That's so cuteee. Definitely enjoyed Soda's mini part more than I thought hahaha, he's such a cute little kid, which makes it kinda sad lol. Soda blowing up and getting mad at Ichika for playing solo and saying she didn't need connections when she made him realise he wanted to start building connections because of her was really...heartwarming. Soda gave up on people and a lot of things thinking that he could never have them because that's how it was considering how people are, but he changed his mind after Ichika so insistently barged into his life, and now to say that it's practically useless would be extremely hurtful to him. I was really impressed with Soda, and I'm happy that he even told Ichika that she can rely on him more, he's such a sweet boy🥲
Uno Suzune
Lmaooo poor Shion, the woes of a big brother. I found it hilarious how Suzune would give him the green peas she doesn't like even though Shion hates them too, definitely something siblings would do🥲 I superrrr agree with Suzune about handwriting diaries instead of writing a blog! I mean, I have both obviously, but I definitely have different feelings when I read my blog and when I read my writing in my diary. Through my blog, I can easily read my exact thoughts and get to the gist of what I'm talking about, but with my diary, I can see stuff like when I started getting tired of writing, when I felt like changing my pen, and a lot of other feelings that can't be seen or portrayed properly in a typed blog, and yes, the memories of me writing all this usually comes back better when I've written it, mainly because I either say it in the entry or because I can actually remember sitting there and putting time into writing about my life/day.
Guess Suzune's pretty yandere for her brother if any kind of possible romantic interest from Ichika gets her other self to come out and threaten her about it lol. Anyway, it's cute how she’s starting to kinda think of Ichika as a big sister. Suzune willingly taking Ichika to Shion and calling Ichika Chi-chan is probably the biggest improvement you can get considering she could stab you as the worst case hahha. Well, Suzune was definitely cuter than I thought and seeing her so vulnerable, shy but wanting to protect Shion and getting out of her shell for him was sweet. Are there endings for each executor? Well, anyway, Suzune saying she would be sad if anything happened to Ichika was really sweet.
Sugawara Rika
Lmao, I forgot Sugawara is obsessed with Zero, this is going to be fun I guess. It's kinda funny that getting a 50,000 yen strawberry entices her lol, I'm surprised Zero approved it as an expense, like dang, can I have one too, I'm curious lol. Lmao when Sugawara wanted to keep the strawberries as a memento instead of eating it😂 She should have been convinced when Ichika said it'll become a part of her hahahah. LOL when Sugawara started lecturing Ichika about dressing better in front of Zero, and then tried to get her makeup to make her look better, but then Ichika runs away😂
Okay, I loved the girls dress up night with Hana, Ichika and Sugawara. It was so funny how they started arguing about what Ichika should wear and then became fast enough friends to recommend each other stuff and then wear it for fun. I loveee that they had a CG for their new outfits because they're all so pretty, I love them! I think Hana's is my favourite because it's so simple but cute in a different way from her usual. I guess it's kinda cute how in Hana's investigation, Hana focuses on Ichika's clothing fashion, but Sugawara takes it further or I guess mainly focuses on skincare, makeup and haircare haha. I guess it's nice that Sugawara is definitely much more open about standing up for herself and other women when it comes to men who try to objectify them or think of them as "lesser". She's become stronger. I think it's kinda sad to see that amongst all the other happy mini endings with the other executors, Rika's one with Ichika is actually pretty sad because it was through them bonding that Rika noticed Ichika's true intentions of revenge, and that's why they can never truly see eye-to-eye and be friends.
Ogata Tomoki
I guess I didn't expect Ogata to be the type to go to batting cages, but I even more didn't expect him to reserve sweets to make sure he can get them hahaha! It's nice that he enjoys wagashi though, I definitely should have tried it when I went to Japan, but I completely forgot😭 Aww, Ogata had such a sweet daughter! Whenever his wife wasn't looking, she would eat his hated tomatoes for him! Such a kind kid😭 I've never heard of monaka before, so I googled it and they look nice!! Kinda like an ice cream sandwich but not with ice cream and has red bean paste and other stuff inside I guess? I would totally eat it. Lmaoo at Ichika's impression of the typical salaryman😂😂 It's true though, I can't imagine Ogata going home to watch comedy shows with a beer in his hand🤣 Aww it was so cute how Ogata did an impersonation of a character in a drama because he got so used to doing it for his daughter. But lmao at Ichika though, telling him what he can improve on since Adonis might have end of the year parties he could use it for, imagine a bunch of terrorists partying for something so normal like the end of the year hahah😂😂
It's actually really sad how Ogata feels like he can't be a father anymore because he knows that he prioritises his current ideals and dreams more than his daughter. And I guess considering how long they've been separated and how much he has changed, it would probably feel awkward to try and be a normal father, but I guess at least through Ichika's encouragement, he's willing to try and reply to his daughter's letter of wanting to meet him. I think the reason why I've always liked Ogata is because he doesn't regret his actions. Like, he knows that he's killed people and that's why he doesn't want to see his family and get them involved with what he's doing right now, because he knows the gravity of his actions. But at the same time, his hatred for Fujii, the police and the whole mistaken arrest that led to such injustice for him and changed his whole perspective on life is something he can't let go of, and that's why it led him to Adonis and to fulfill his "new" ideals. He knows it's a path that will not necessarily have a "good ending" but he's willing to sacrifice everything for it, and I think that's what makes me attracted to his character. Anyway, LMAO at how insistent Ichika was on seeing young Ogata with a buzzcut playing baseball, absolutely hilarious when she was ready to tie him up with a rope and search his room😂😂 It's pretty sad to see that Ogata wanted to be like Isshiki and save people with his justice without faltering in this cruel world but he just wasn't able to do it because hatred was what fuelled him to move forward and not forgiveness or hope. But I'm glad he encouraged Ichika to listen to Isshiki's song and hear Kazuki's guitar, because seeing Ichika show her emotions again, even if just a little bit was nice...
Uno Shion
Aww, it's cute how much Shion cares about Suzune, but also so cute how he's embarrassed to say he likes chocolate🤣 It's nice that he's more cooperative than Suzune I guess hahaha. I never expected Shion to like to paint though, that's interesting. Anyway, it's pretty sad to think that the "outside world" was much more unforgiving to the Uno siblings, and that it was only after they joined this terrorist organisation did they get to feel safe and secure that they have shelter and food without people going crazy on them. In that sense, it's understandable how much more comfortable Adonis would be for them. Aww Shion and Suzune getting excited over a chocolate cake is so adorable. Them saving up to buy a home for themselves is so heartwarming, it makes me really want to cheer for them. I'm dying from how cute they are trying to feed Ichika the chocolate cake too because they really like her and think she's really kind like their mother was before. Shion buying a cheese tart for both Ichika and Suzune was sweet, she's like a part of his thought process when buying stuff for his sister hahaha. Lol when he just shoved it into her mouth instead of giving it to her like a normal person🤣 Lmaoo when Shion drew a portrait of Ichika stuffing herself with cheese tart🤣 To think that Shion was so serious about drawing that he's actually thinking about a future with it after the X-Day stuff..it’s so endearing.
Sera Akito
It must be difficult for both Akito and Ichika to talk to each other. Just seeing each other's faces would make them remember the past and compare it to the present, making their whole encounter just...painful to watch. It's so like Akito to hide that he dislikes shiitake mushrooms so that it wouldn't inconvenience Ichika and make her remove it from the cooking menu. Lmaooo at Akito being so scared of bugs, enough that Ichika has to call cockroaches dark fairies to make him feel more at ease🤣 I'm sure Akito must be hurting too, but his consideration for Ichika above himself really makes my heart feel so warm. Awww, my heart swooned when Akito said his ideal type was Ichika! If only there was an Akito route~ Anyway, I didn't expect Akito and Soda to really interact but lmaoo at Soda having spent millions of yen on in-game stuff, Soda is right though, gacha rates are cruel😭😭 Aww, it was so cute how honest Soda was about wanting to have defeated the boss with Akito instead of dumping him and killing it himself, since what Soda values is playing together with other people. So, Kazuki was stabbed by a guy who was influenced by Adonis into taking revenge against his bullies or something, and I guess Kazuki was killed when he tried to step in? Honestly, I feel terrible for Akito. He was already feeling doubts and guilt over getting revenge for his sister, but after experiencing Kazuki's death, he must hate his choice for joining Adonis even more than before. It honestly broke my heart to see Akito break down like that not knowing how he could atone for his sins in causing Kazuki's death. His heartwrenching screams really cut me and made me tear up from all the pain Akito must have been bottling up all this time. Akito will always be my favourite side character, I think his pain, his feelings and his emotions were portrayed so well.
Sanjo Keisuke
Aww, Sanjo's favourite food being ramen is very him, kinda hahaha. I can't imagine a 7kg bowl of ramen and having to finish that in 30 minutes😱 On the other hand, Sanjo being into arcades is kinda unexpected, lmaooo at Ichika thinking he would play the crane games😂 I didn't think about the fact that Ichika is a former cop just like him now, I wonder how he feels about that or whether he even cares😅 Lmao at Sanjo seriously answering Ichika what his type of woman is and then even describing the body shape with sound effects😂 I can't believe Ichika just tickled Sanjo and made him laugh like crazy, I would have liked to see that😆😆 I think it would have been so nice if Ogata was Sanjo's boss, I feel like their values and ideals of justice back in the day would have matched well since Sanjo probably desired something "pure" back in the day and hoped to be a part of an organisation that helped people, and Ogata was always helping people already, so they would have worked well together. It's just sad that they both got betrayed by their ideals of what the police should have been to them and others.
The idea that you can't feel any fear because you don't value your life is a pretty interesting and saddening thought. Maybe because I get that feeling sometimes. I agree with Sanjo, Zero definitely doesn't truly care about those ideals of saving the weak that he keeps spouting, he's not like Mikuni, and that's also imo the reason why Zero believes that he and Mikuni will never truly understand each other. Ichika and Sanjo eating ramen together is so cute lol.
Mikuni Rei
Lmao at Zero calling Mikuni an old man for liking fish, disliking carbonated drinks and other junk food because they're not nutritional hahaha. Otherwise, nothing much to say tbh, Mikuni has always been a rather bland character to me? I like him, but at the same time I don't because even though it's interesting to see that he actually has "noble" goals compared to Zero, the fact is that Mikuni as he himself said has been told that he's a "saviour" of sorts, and I think that really exemplifies the type of person Mikuni is. Someone who believes that he can and wants to "save" people in his own way as if he is someone above them all, but at the same time, he is very apparently flawed exactly because he is like that. He's not someone who truly understands the people "below" him and he also doesn't seem to perceive that as something that can be helped, and that's why even though his goals are "noble", he's not really noble at all. But it doesn't really change the fact that Mikuni is kind in his own way though. Mikuni eating shrimp crackers is so cute😂
Saeki Yuzuru
To be honest, I've always liked the chill policeman Saeki, and I personally think Zero likes that version of himself too. I feel like he always enjoyed just talking about stuff with Ichika during their drinking charades, and had fun visiting her. But at the same time, I feel like because of the existence of Adonis and Mikuni, Zero never really allowed his negative emotions to be "accepted" in order for him to move on, so instead it just continued piling up inside to the point of indifference towards the world and others imo. Anyway, it's sad, seeing Zero and Mikuni happily play chess together. They really look like two brothers just having fun in their own way. Hearing them say that they've been doing this since they were kids makes it all the more saddening when they realised that despite how "close" they were to each other, they never really understood each other. In a sense, I feel like in the end, both Mikuni and Zero use Adonis as a way to get the things they want and feel like it's one of the only ways they can do it? I mean, I do feel like Mikuni treasures his relationship with Zero more than Adonis or anything else, because when it comes down to it, I feel like he tries really hard to understand Zero by trying to see things from his perspective and hanging out with Ichika, the one that Zero thinks understands him best and the one Zero likes the most. On the other hand, Zero seems to use Adonis as a way for revenge of his mother and as a way to vent those emotions and scars he got, but at the same time Adonis also granted him Mikuni (a brother), and it gave him opportunities and power.
Zero definitely loves Ichika in an obsessed way, probably the only way he thinks he can love someone, since he doesn't want to become "weak" like his mother was. So if he felt anything like love, he would prefer it to be a love that would destroy him, because in a sense I think I can understand that sentiment of wanting the person you love to solely focus on yourself and no one else, whether that is hatred or whatever emotion doesn't matter, because being the entire focus of someone else's is a sort of "love" to enjoy, so I don't blame Zero for his twisted "love" lol. Especially since you can tell how much he has always enjoyed his after work beers and just chatting with Ichika. I quite enjoyed their little date walking around reminiscing the past and discovering new things they missed out on, now I really want to eat crepes🥲 The ending where Ichika kills Saeki is pretty sad though. Seeing Saeki the most relieved and happy he has ever been is probably what made me kinda happy for him though. He still sucks, but like Ichika said, I can't hate him, because it was true that he did reduce the sadness of many (whilst creating sadness for many others too though) and at the core, he was like in a sense a guy who consumed so much sadness from everywhere around him, always in pain, always sad despite his appearance, and thinking that makes it difficult for me to truly hate him.
Overall, I like the Adonis route! Initially, I was a bit sceptical whether it was really necessary and whether it would be interesting at all but I really loved bonding with all the executors. Seeing more of the human and emotional sides, seeing them warm up to Ichika and become friends with her really made me enjoy the "what could never be" part of it all. I think I especially loved Akito's because of how emotional it was tying into Kazuki and everything. But I also really enjoyed seeing the different sides of all of them. It really makes me wish Ichika got an individual route with like Akito and Sanjo and Ogata because I loveee them🥲🥲
Overall Review
I definitely enjoyed CxM: Unlimited much more than I thought I would! In the beginning, Sasazuka and Okazaki's routes kinda made me wonder whether I really wanted to continue this, but I'm so glad I got through them because I enjoyed Enomoto's, Yanagi's and Shiraishi's routes a lot! If I ranked them, I probably liked Shiraishi's the most, then Yanagi, Enomoto, Okazaki and then Sasazuka. It's definitely what I wanted in a fandisk, which is more fluffy romance and just bonding with all the guys even more, and I absolutely loveeee the potential romances with Yoshinari and Minegishi, they were so unexpectedly nice. Definitely no plot but that's okay since it's a fandisc and I think it fulfilled really well what its goal was when it comes to more romance in the story haha. 8/10! I'm definitely going to miss the characters, I'm so attached to Enomoto and them lol.
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hq characters as cheesy valentine’s day tropes.
masterlist. | valentine’s day event masterlist.
warnings: none! aside from some swearing, it’s just some fluffy valentine’s day scenarios for you. reader is gn.
characters: keiji akaashi, kenma kozume, yuu nishinoya, koushi sugawara.
notes: dedicated to @koushisun,, for being an exceptionally kind individual and having immaculate taste in 2d men. i hope we can get closer the more we talk, kris. thank you for being my first friend here on da tumbz. <33
keiji akaashi
confessions behind the school building
were you nervous about finally confessing your feelings to akaashi on valentine’s day of all days? absolutely
he was one of, if not the prettiest, impressively athletic, and overwhelmingly intelligent boys in your class
he probably got at least ten confessions on the daily
and valentine’s day simply doubled the number
and here you were, with your tiny valentine’s day card and box of chocolates in hand
you had heard from all the girls that he had been turning down confessions left and right, only adding onto your mountain of nerves
little did you know that he was waiting for you
cherry blossoms bloomed above your heads, falling gracefully like something right out of a shoujo anime. you tapped the tip of your shoe against the pavement, a nervous tick you had garnered that helped keep you grounded. this was it. this was the moment today was leading up to. you and akaashi were standing behind fukurodani, stealing away a bit of privacy. you didn’t need the prying eyes of the other girls watching as you confessed to your year long crush.
akaashi waited with a patient gaze, unmoving from his spot a few feet ahead of you. he gave you space, and didn’t force you to talk right away. it was as if he already knew the intricacies of your thoughts, the way your mind spiraled if you were suddenly put on the spot, especially when it was as intimate and open as confessing your feelings.
“i wanted to tell you, i mean- what i’ve been trying to tell you for years is that i, well,” your tongue felt like it was two sizes too big. your fingers fidgeted behind your back, holding onto the tiny note and chocolates you had made for him yourself. “i like you a lot more than i really let on. you’re always so thoughtful and considerate. you listen to me when i ramble, and you help me with homework or even small things i don’t completely understand. that’s um, that’s really nice of you. i know you’ve probably received a lot of gifts today, but if you could spare a bit of your backpack space to accept mine, it would mean the world to me.” you bowed towards him, eyes glued to the floor as you held out the small box of chocolates and the note you had written.
you didn’t catch the way a smile tugged at his usually stoic features, or the way he tilted his head in thought while wondering how much courage you mustered up to confess like this. still, you felt nimble fingers brushing against yours, the weight of your gift leaving your grip.
“thank you, y/n,” akaashi told you gratefully as you stood up to your full height, “i’m glad that you feel the same as i do.”
“... wait what.”
kenma kozume
heart shaped candies
kenma rarely has plans for valentine’s day tbh
he treats it like any other day because it’s just a day to play some animal crossing and farm more on stardew valley
however, when you waltz into his life, he panics a little bit as the date draws closer
he wants to make you feel special on valentine’s day
he settled for those tiny heart shaped candies, knowing that you had quite the sweet tooth
he wasn’t gonna leave you hanging on valentine’s day, sweetheart
kenma held your hand in his as the two of you walked home together. the day was rainy, small droplets of water pattering against the shared umbrella the two of you were situated beneath. you were talking about school, something or other about the clubs you were in and how passionate you were about starting your very own this year. kenma listened tentatively, an easy smile on his face as he watched your eyes light up and your free hand gesture and fly about as you spoke.
you were adorable.
the two of you soon arrived at your house, and you promised kenma that you would call him tonight so the two of you could play games or watch some netflix together over the internet. you two had been particularly invested in some k-drama that always left the two of you at the edge of your seats. you planted a gentle kiss to his cheek, his face erupting in crimson right to the tips of his ears. giggling quietly, you wished him goodbye, your hand beginning to slide from his as you went to leave. to your surprise, he held on tighter.
with his gaze cast down, you watched as he pulled out a tiny bag of heart shaped candies from his pocket. “i know it’s not much, but i saw everyone else getting their partners gifts and kuroo said that it would be good if i got you something too.”
you accepted his small token of affection with shaky hands and flushed cheeks. peering inside the clear bag, you saw a whole collection of multi-coloured candies reading cheesy phrases such as ‘b mine’, ‘true love’ or even a ‘cutiepie.’
“kenma, i love it. oh my.. haha! i thought you forgot since you didn’t mention anything about gifts for today.” kenma’s hand squeezed yours, his eyes lifting from the wet ground to meet your own with a small yet confident smile.
“i wouldn’t forget something as important as you.”
yuu nishinoya
big teddy bears
an absolutely chaotic mess on valentine’s day
he’s so excited that he finally has someone to spoil, so he wants to go all out
he figured that the best present to get you was the biggest teddy bear he could find
he went to 6 stores and dragged asahi and tanaka with him
he saw a teddy bear that was literally twice his size and went “I’LL TAKE IT”
mans has no chill, he spent literally his entire allowance on it
his grandpa didn’t even bat an eye PFFT
when nishinoya showed up at your doorstep with a chunky teddy bear in tow, you had no words. truly. it had been at the stroke of midnight when he texted you to come outside and see the valentine’s gift he had gotten you. you had said that this could wait until morning, but he insisted that this could not wait another moment. it was technically valentine’s day, after all! this resulted in you dragging yourself down the stairs of your home to greet him at the door. to your surprise, yet at the same time not surprising you in the slightest, was noya carrying the largest teddy bear you had ever laid your eyes on. not only that, but tanaka and what appeared to be a very exhausted asahi accompanied him.
“y/n-chan!” nishinoya shouted boldly and triumphantly, getting down on one knee which instantly made you panic. he wasn’t going to propose, was he? no he wouldn’t. would he? oh god. your words got caught in your throat, trying to formulate some kind of response to his sudden and incoming declaration. yet, a proposal never came. he held up the teddy bear as if it were simba from the lion king, the entire stuffed animal basically shielding his shorter form from your view. you suppressed a snort with your hand.
“i searched far and wide for this gigantic teddy bear for you, please accept it this valentine’s day!” nishinoya said loud and clear from behind the bear. you were having trouble stifling your laughter because from your angle, it looked like the bear itself was saying these words to you. you attempted to take the huge bear from his arms but it ended up being a lot heavier than you anticipated.
“noya, really this is-”
“take the picture!” noya whisper shouted to tanaka, who was holding up his phone camera with a thumbs up. noya posed beside you with an arm tossed around your waist, throwing up a peace sign and sticking out his tongue. leave it to yuu nishinoya to spoil you with the biggest bear he could find. it was incredibly endearing, especially when you found out from asahi that he nearly got kicked out from a walmart after knocking down the entire teddy bear display. he could be the biggest dork sometimes. but you wouldn’t trade him for the world.
koushi sugawara
baking together
he saw the idea on pinterest and he had to try it out with you
they were cupcakes red velvet with pink, buttercream frosting
easy, right? it would be a cute little date, you could even stay over at his house while you watched a romcom or something of the sort while they were baking
turns out it wasn’t easy
at all
“shit fuck, oh god- shit!” koushi mumbled to himself as he was spilling some of the red cupcake mix over the side of the bowl. you were trying your best not to laugh too much but you couldn’t help your giggles when koushi shot you a playfully annoyed glare, his nose powered with sugar and flourmaking him look straight out of a victorian magazine. baking with koushi had gone just as well as you thought it would. there was a lot of flour being thrown around, a few stray chocolate chips and sprinkles now on the floor serving as reminders of past quarrels. koushi had always been a rather chaotic individual behind his “soft boy” demeanour he liked to flaunt. he could be so goofy and fun. he could be your greatest hype man but also the person you knew could be in your corner when it counted. and here the two of you were, making a mess in your shared kitchen at nine at night for a valentine’s day date.
“honey, you’re mixing it too fast!”
“i’m mixing it just fine, see look! it’s supposed to be this thick,” his ahoge bobbed back and forth atop his head as he mixed with quite literally his entire torso. his tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth as he focused hardcore on the making sure the mixture was abolished of any and all chunkiness present. you rolled your eyes, a wide smile on your face despite his stubbornness. “the oven’s been preheating for thirty minutes now.”
“well the oven can wait,” he huffed, tapping the neck of the whisk against the bowl to remove the excess mix before grabbing a ladle to begin scooping all the mix into the muffin tin. not without another mess, of course.
“kou, stop moving the—”
“i’m not moving anything, you’re just making me laugh!”
“hand me the spoon, hand it over.”
“it’s not a spoon!”
“it’s a big ass spoon.”
“y/n!”
you were bickering like an old married couple as your hands reached greedily for the ladle that already had some cupcake mix in it. koushi held it out of your reach, causing him to back up into the counter while you hopped in an attempt to get it back. in your desperate attempts, you slipped on the flour from your little past war and caused the two of you to collapse to the floor in a heap of giggles and laughter.
yeah, you two would definitely never be touching any sort of recipe after that day, you absolute menaces.
all works © denkamis 2021.
tags:
@meilbox
want to be on the taglist? see this post!
#hq scenarios#haikyuu!!#akaashi x reader#keiji akaashi x reader#kenma x reader#kenma kozume x reader#nishinoya x reader#yuu nishinoya x reader#sugawara x reader#koushi sugawara x reader#hq x reader#hq fluff#denkamis.scenarios
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God every time people characterise magnus bane as a submissive helpless useless wisp of a man who needs alec to save him I lose a fuvkin life THAT'S THE HIGH WARLOCK UR TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!! especially when it's blatently written by someone who fancies alec
I think the main problem is that book malec stans big time infantalise alec and show malec stans infantalise magnus like how hard is it to acknowledge that they're both grown men?????? The amount of fics I've read which, depending on the source, stem from and the idea of x is smaller and therefore submissive and needs protection from big strong y like come ONNNN
lol remember when people got pissed at me for saying that the high warlock of brooklyn, son of a prince of hell, one of the most powerful warlocks alive, 400yo man with experience in training and combat, would make alec sweat in a fight
look, in general i agree with you that there is the whole "the shortest one is the fragile one in a relationship" trope and that it's annoying, but i reeealllyy can't agree that show malec stans in general infantilize magnus. i've seen my fair share of fics where magnus is infantilized and written as helpless, but they've never been anywhere near as common as the ones where it's the other way around or even where they are written as equals, tbh, and most of the time when people complain to me that magnus is being infantilized in my experience it's just that he's being written as like... human
like if magnus ever shows any vulnerability or insecurity or (god forbid) cries everyone acts as if he's being written as a shallow helpless useless creature, and that's... really not how it works. whereas alec is frequently written as the one who needs saving, who needs to be coaxed into having any conversations, who is always so insecure and afraid everyone will hate him uwu, especially the big bad brown downworlders, and half the time this is not considered as infantilizing as like, magnus having insecurities and talking to alec about it
and generally i just feel like for magnus if he is ever anything below superhumanly strong and competent (and sometimes even when he is written as that but ALSO as emotionally vulnerable) then he is shallow and useless and we gotta take into account that that's how characters of color are ALWAYS seen. brown and black characters are always seen as supposed to be superhumanly strong and competent, and never ever vulnerable or approachable in general. and if they have ever any softness or insecurity in them, people immediately lose interest. and i really feel like for a lot of people that's what goes on - the standards are SO different for magnus and alec that alec being treated as a baby and magnus being treated as human are seen as the same thing
like look, i don't know you or what you're referencing, and also i've been sick and tired of sh fic in general so recently i only read recs, so i'm not the best person to access what the general fandom tropes are, i'll admit that. but i'm just really tired of having this conversation while pretending that race is not one of the factors that is at play when we talk about the way people perceive and write alec vs magnus, when i'd argue that it's the most predominant one tbh
like if u wanna go with show fans are more likely to infantilize magnus (i still will never agree that it's as simple as "book fans infantilize alec and show fans infantilize magnus" cuz i literally hate the books and only read show fics and follow show blogs and EVEN THEN i see so much infantilized alec fic and posts i gave up on the general fandom and only read recs or stuff written by my - less than 10, only 2 of which are not in my direct circle of friends that i talk to on a daily or weekly basis, and only 4 of which are white/not black or brown - "trusted authors", but like, u can have ur opinion obviously), at least mention that in the show magnus is lighter skinned/played by an East Asian actor and not a Southeast Asian one and thus the racial stereotypes are different. (im not going to go into chinese privilege because im not sure how true that holds in the context of the US, particularly with the way china is their biggest enemy other than russia, but know that that is absolutely a thing in the asian racial context, especially when it comes to south east and south asian/brown people)
but acting like we don't live in a world where brown and black ppl are stereotyped to be strong and resilient to the point where they are literally less likely to get anesthesia in a medical procedure and that absolutely influences the way they are read and written in fiction and generally perceived by people, or where brown and black characters are always treated as emotional and physical support for white characters in fandom, is not it
like... MAGNUS IS A BROWN CHARACTER, malec is the #1 interracial ship on ao3 and the ONLY one in the current top 10 with a brown/black character other than finnpoe, can we please stop pretending that that's not a thing when we talk about fandom perceptions of him/them
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hello, bby💞💞 i absolutely ADORE everything u write, ur insanely talented!! I wanted to ask, you’ve mentioned several pieces of art, precisely songs and films, that have inspired ur work; could u give us some music and movie recommendations that have similar vibe to some of ur fics??? Thank u in advance, I hope u have an incredible day/evening, lysm💓💞💖
THIS QUESTION OOOOOOOH YES ANON YES okay okay first of all, thank you so much!!!! i appreciate that a lot <333 YES i love film so much hehehe <3 my music recommendations are pretty much the same as they always are. the films i’m recommending here; i’m not exactly sure if they have a similar vibe to my fics as i’ve found it difficult to find many films that fit that criteria, but here’s a nice huge list of films that have influenced my main series’, and how!!
beware!! very long post under the cut hehehe AND POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR BMB IF YOU KNOW THE FILMS HEHEHEHEHE
𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬
the godfather, part 1 + part 2
AAAAAAAAH okay, literally one of my favourite films of all time, the godfather (+ the godfather pt 2) is a fucking masterpiece. tomura’s close relationship with his father was both inspired by bnha itself as well as michael corleone’s relationship with his father, vito. michael is the golden child even though he’s the youngest, and i love love love how cold and ruthless he can be!!! he’s also super smart.
goodfellas
listen. if henry hill from goodfellas and michael corleone from the godfather had a baby, it would be tomura. he’s slightly more henry than he is michael, but his characterization pulls from both of these characters!! henry is fun, he’s reckless, he’s young, he feels like a god and he loves cocaine. henry also becomes very paranoid, a path with tomura is currently speeding down (albeit much more intensely, with legitimate mental health issues, but you get it). i also love the subtle ‘mafia princess’ trope goodfellas has going on with henry’s wife, karen (that scene where she says she’s going shopping and asks him for money, and he takes out that massive wad of cash?????? brilliant, one of my faves hehehe). henry also has some difficulty dealing with his emotions!!
narcos season 1 + 2
k, i can’t say too much about how this incredible show inspired bmb; i kind of feel like listing it is already giving away too much hehehe BUT i love the pure POWER pablo exudes, and i love his relationship with his wife and how family oriented he is.
scarface (both the original 1932 version and the 1983 version)
WOOOOOOOOOO OKAY. for the 1983 film: cocaine my friends. cocaine and violence and toxic relationships!!!!!!! i kind of love elvira hancock more than anything else; she’s so glamorous and fun and just aaaaah she’s definitely not as ‘baby’ or ‘good girl’ as bmb!reader is, but her sheer class and cute dresses and just how SPOILED she is reminds me a lot of bmb! for both 1932 + 1983: tony’s relationship with his sister, gina (which tbh borders on incest). gina’s another one of those ‘mafia princess’ types, and tony is extremely overprotective of her and spoils her like mad, too. she’s also fits that ‘good girl’ archetype a lot more!!
reservoir dogs
purely the violence. the violence the violence the violence, the crude and crass way the men talk to each other, and the fact that they’re like a lil organized crime group put together by a boss. i am IN LOVE (IN LOVEEEEEEEE) with mr blonde (aka vic vega <333). mr blonde’s extreme sadism reminds me quite a bit of both dabi and tomura, and he’s even referenced in the lil torture piece i wrote!! also, you literally cannot tell me that vic wouldn’t spoil the absolute HELL out of his good lil princess if he had one <3
(not a film, but!!!!!) hamlet
break my bones is very very very loosely based on hamlet (which is my favourite story of all time. literally. i love hamlet so much i can’t even put it into words); with tomura as hamlet, dabi as a mixture of horatio and laertes, and reader as ophelia. hamlet, my precious baby, is a spoiled fucking brat, who loved his father and was loved by his father. he’s also very intelligent, but falls prey to his indecisiveness and his inability to make decisions, in addition to the rapid decay of his mental health. that’s all i’ll say hehehe
baby driver
the relationship between baby + debora reminds me of the relationship between dabi and reader a lot <333 i also just love the aesthetic of this film, and the undercurrents of organized crime!!
the shining
just a teeny tiny bit; i cannot say anything about this or i think it’ll give something away!!!!!
burning
trios!!!!! trios!!!!!!!!!!!!and the relationship dynamic between jong-su, hae-mi and ben??????? absolutely incredible and reminds me quite a bit of the dynamic between tomura, dabi + reader!!
𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐀𝐔 (𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 ��𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐞) + 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐲𝐚-𝐧𝐢𝐢
i’m grouping these two together, because a lot of their influences overlap in terms of dabi + reader’s relationship!!! (i’m pretty sure we can all agree that touya-nii is so fucking Daddy, too <3)
true romance
i fucking love this movie, so so so much. i’d go as far to say that clarence and alabama’s relationship has without a doubt inspired or influenced every single romantic relationship i’ve written in at least some way, shape, or form. i LOVE them. i love their co-dependency on each other, i love their whole ‘it’s you and me against the world’ vibe, and i love how far they’re willing to go for each other. also, again, organized crime (no surprise), and alabama is just the cutest fucking thing i swear to god. that scene of her + virgil in the hotel room will forever be one of my absolute FAVOURITE scenes in cinematic history. i would die for this woman i love her more than anything. she’s so cute yet so strong, so brave, so IN LOVE, and aaaah that is just one of my favourite characteristics ever ever ever. i love women who are soft and strong at the same time, even if that strength isn’t physical.
sid and nancy
hello to one of the most famous toxic relationships ever!!! honestly, i don’t think i have to explain this one much LMAO. obviously my readers aren’t as hardcore as nancy and almost always fall into the ‘innocent good girl’ category, but their RELATIONSHIP itself reminds me quite a bit of the relationship between touya-nii and his princess <3
bonnie and clyde (1967)
ahahaha yet again, another very toxic, very co-dependent type of love. like clarence and alabama, i love how these two are literally willing to die for each other—they’d go straight to the ends of the earth for one another, no questions asked. this type of love is extremely unhealthy, obviously, but it’s something i am extremely fascinated with and love exploring in my work! also, that whole ‘fuck the world let’s commit crimes together’????? very tag you’re it dabi x reader!!!
pulp fiction
more specifically, the relationship between mia and vincent. the sexual tension there is fucking crazy, and i love how mia is yet again one of those ‘mafia princess’ types. really, this film applies to bmb as well, but i’m putting it here because the way vincent gets so so SO soft for mia reminds me of the way touya-nii and dabi in these two series in particular get soft for their readers. also, to a lesser extent, the relationship between butch and fabienne. i know a lot of people don’t like fabienne and get annoyed with her, but i think she’s just the cutest thing and i heavily relate to her and her babie/crybaby nature <3 and of course, the relationship between pumpkin and honeybunny (for tag you’re it especially!) <33
breathless (a bout de souffle)
there’s just something about michel that reminds me of touya-nii SO much. i think it’s a combination of his attitude as well as his petty life of crime, and the way patricia hides him in her apartment...i don’t know, it’s difficult for me to put into words, but i love him a lot <3
𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚����𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤
the joker + harley quinn: i feel like this is so obvious LMAO but i’m obsessed with the idea of that all consuming voracious love that borders on serious obsession. extremely possessive socio/psychopath and his dumb lil baby????? yes <3 (**i also wanna make a note to say that harley isn’t dumb AT ALL, but J will often insult her in such a way, and sometimes the men who write her portray her as such as well >.> but harley is one of my favourite female characters ever. i LOVE how girly and fun she is while still being extremely strong and (sometimes, depending on the version) independent. she isn’t without flaws, and i love how her mr j is basically her kryptonite <3)
speaking of batman, bruce wayne: what can i say, i just love spoiled rich men who have serious issues dealing with their emotions and walk the line of good and evil <33333
anakin skywalker/darth vader: listen, anakin was seriously slighted by those prequel films. but underneath all of that bad writing, at his core, anakin is a fantastic character. he is SO strongly governed by his emotions and is extremely selfish, and his love for his wife and family is ultimately what leads him down the path to the dark side <3 his emotionally charged motivations remind me a lot of CANON dabi!!!
thelma and louise: i just love their relationship, like, a lot hehehe. their relationship and the ending of this film reminds me a lot of my snowman & me; just yet again that whole ‘it’s you and me or it’s death’ type thing.
the darjeeling limited: it should be obvious at this point that i love trios, and i love complex characters and the relationships that come along with them. the relationship between the whitman brothers, the dysfunctional family, the truama and sadness...i love it all. this film is absolutely beautiful and really doesn’t connect much to my work other than the character dynamics, but i love it so dearly.
mad men: again, those misogynistic toxic relationships and the dependency betty has on don for the first few seasons!! also my god, the aesthetic, i am obsessed.
twin peaks: this hasn’t shown up too much in the work i’ve posted on my blog just yet, but i’m head over heels in love with the dreamy unsettling feeling that saturates this entire series, as well as the drugs and crime. also dale is my baby, protect him with everything <3
blade runner (both films): for city aesthetic
suckerpunch: an absolutely awful film but also one of my guilty pleasures, purely because i love babydoll so so so so so much <33 again, more for aesthetic than story.
𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐂
honestly, my music recommendations are exactly the same as they are in this post right here. lana del rey, lil peep, chase atlantic + the neighbourhood are the four that i’d say influence my work the most tho, and have the most similar vibe to my stuff!! also, nicole dollanganger is an incredible artist and lyricist, and i’ve been told more than once that my work and her work are quite similar (which i agree!!!). her stuff is hauntingly beautiful, but i have a lot of difficulty listening to it because it hits a little too close to home and makes me cry literally every single time. so please be wary of that, i’m giving a general trigger warning for her because she can get quite dark. but her work is absolutely fantastic, i highly recommend as long as you feel that you can handle it!!! <33
AAAAAH I KNOW I’M MISSING LIKE A MILLION THINGS I SWEAR but these are the films (and tv shows) + artists that readily come to mind!! thank you again for your question anon, i love stuff like this so much and i love discussing films and art hehehe <33
#THIS POST IS FUCKING *MASSIVE*#U HAVE BEEN WARNED LMAO#i could just go on forever about film i love it so much#so so so much#i know i'm missing so many that have had an impact on me i can feel it#but yeah!!!#really the biggest trigger warnings here are for toxic relationships and drugs#so proceed with caution please!!#i hope you're having a fantastic wednesday anon bb <333#please stay safe out there and drink enough water!!! ily!!!#clari gets mail#clari RAMBLES#my goodness#inky.bb
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genuinely curious, because this is a new trend I've noticed with a rising fandom: what do you think of fandoms where the creators do occasionally incorporate fanwork or openly agree or disagree with headcanons? i'm mainly referencing the dreamsmp fandom's.... unique way of creation and interacting with canon and fancanon- you of course don't have to publish this ask now that i've namedropped, but i was just?? wondering basically, after reading ur thots on HS
i have no idea what dreamsmp is so i think you’re safe
I feel like everyone who wants to ~incorporate fanworks~ needs to look at how Blaseball works and follow that. Blaseball is very very bare bones. All the team culture and player bios and artwork of the game comes from fans. The fans also run that shit, and have group brainstorming sessions about what these extra elements should be. I think this creates a trap of One True Fanon shit, where one interpretation gets treated as ‘correct’ but otherwise the system works well enough.
What never and does not ever work is when specific pieces of fanwork/fanon are elevated to canon.
(rest under cut, bc this got long and not everyone wants to hear the post-mortem on HS)
Now there’s two branches of this. One is “the fans noticed something that was already there in the text, so the creators canonized it,” like if a character acts a lil bi, fans notice, and the creators go “yes, and” to that. That’s reacting to what’s already there.
But there’s how HS does it. Detective Pony is technically HS canon now because it’s mentioned in the text now as if it happened. Or the June Egbert thing, which.... oof. To me, I think it’s fascinating to compare and contrast Roxy being trans and the June Egbert thing.
On one hand, Roxy was overwhelmingly headcanoned as a trans woman. Hell, they were my favorite to write that way. The Cursed Podcast had basically an entire fucking episode about Roxy being a trans woman. And then HS goes “actually Roxy is a trans dude, Dirk is transphobic, and Roxy is weirdly, uncomfortably compared to Dave all the time.”
This is.... not great. In a piece of work that is trying (and failing) to be in conversation with fandom (in part bc it was written by people who weren’t involved in the modern fandom (and one who fucking hated fandom)) it comes across as incredibly tone deaf. I am literally nervous about referring to Roxy as ‘she’ even though My Roxy is a trans woman, she always was, and the Epilogues want to play in my sandbox without following my fucking rules.
People have absolutely been harassed for continuing to headcanon Roxy this way. This is the fault of the HS crew for wading into the pool and not following the rules. You can’t just have a “headcanon” when you are posting to Fucking Home Stuck Dot Com with your “““““Fanfic”““““. You literally cannot do that. You have too much social capital in the situation. Anything that Hussie “headcanons” is canon. That’s just it. If he puts it into text, that’s canon baybee!!!! So that team pretending like they are Just Like Us is horseshit.
Then, on the other hand. June Egbert is elevated to canon.... which is.... sigh.
It’s Hussie incorporating queer representation he didn’t actually do for the woke points. There it is. It’s getting the accolades with none of the work. Its disappointing and annoying and on some level feels like fan work, done by people for actual queer rep, is swallowed by a guy that, uh. Does not have the woke points tbh! Who’s handling of trans ness in HS is pretty terrible actually!
I feel like HS is like a perfect encapsulation of all the worst ways to handle fandom and its content and the idea of including it. Every instance of them doing so is busted.
In my opinion, content creators should never pick and choose headcanons to elevate to canon. They should not put down any headcanons, they should not publicly endorse any. It means that there is a One True Headcanon, and if you follow it, you’re a good person, and everyone else? Is going to be harassed and bullied and attacked.
HS did this multiple times! That fucking team kept doing it! They kept throwing logs on that fire, and then acting shocked with the fandom turned even more dramatically toxic. Hey, Kate, when you say “Vriska is trans, was always trans” and that anyone who doesn’t like her is now suddenly transphobic, you fucked up! You have created a new venue for people to be harassed! You did that! Knowingly, openly, with fucking glee! Because now if anyone dislikes your fave, you know the type of push back they will get! Asshole!
In fact, how is it different, when you knowingly separate your text into “Canon” and “THE POST-CANON” (gag) and only include the big character revelation in the latter that most people are not going to interact with, how is that different than Dumbledore Was Gay Actually?
Andrew Hussie didn’t tell that story, they retconned it. And whenever there is pushback, that team just goes “TCH WELL it’s not ACTUALLY canon. We’re writing fanfic, just like you 8) 8) 8)”
sigh. do you know.... what its like to want better rep, and to be handed it, but it’s been injected with poison, and it’s not there for the rep at all, it’s there to score points on the people you hate? like......
LIKE I AM SITTING HERE AND I’M JSUT ANGRY ABOUT IT. at how all this post-canon shit was done to make The Discourse that much worse. how the people who did this just had zero respect for the fandom, despite many of them coming from it. (AND GOLLY DO YOU THINK THAT WAS PART OF THE PROBLEM)
My point is this: Hussie (and his enablers) has a lot of shit to say about fandom, and all of it is outdated, uninsightful, and often openly detrimental to the fandom. There is a fucking reason that the Epilogues were posted on Home Stuck Dot Com with a mock up of the AO3 header..... but not actually on the AO3.
Hussie wants, more than anything, to interact with fandom with its rules, because transformative works are fun! But he can’t. He has too much social capital in the fandom. He cannot just write a fanfic, because anything he writes is canon. That’s the nature of his relationship to the work.
And frankly, Hussie doesn’t want to abdicate that power. He wants to play with the sandbox but still be the king. He still wants to be important. Otherwise, if he were genuinely interested in that kind of participation, he would have posted the Epilogues on the AO3 under a psued. But then he would be just another fan, and we all know how Hussie feels about the fans.
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To be honest, I don't feel like it should be "Only RinHaru is a valid ship" or "Only MakoHaru is a valid ship". I can see why people would start shipping RinHaru as they grow more mature and spend more time in the fandom because their relationship is more complexe. But when I watched Free for the first time (the week I turned 16) MakoHaru was quite boring to me. I started shipping it after watching Starting Days. Do I think RinHaru is a beautiful ship too? Yeah! Both are 'canon' in their own way
It’s really not true. And I’m just stating facts here, not stuff out of my head. If you prefer stuff like Makoharu it’s your choice, maybe you like these sort of relationship, who knows, but saying that they’re both as canon is just a lie.
You won’t read anywhere that Haru looked at Makoto and his heart fluttered and his body felt hot, but you can read it about Haru looking at Rin.
There’s only one ship in Free! that’s written like this “It’s like I can feel him. I can feel Haruka with me. It’s annoying. As soon as I think about him, my heart starts beating so fast and I can’t keep calm. He can’t be near, but I still feel him. I can sense him. Am I this obsessed? Everything that I wanted... It’s much hotter now, it burns me. And I’ll burn Haru with this flame”. And no, you won’t find anything like that with Makoharu. And that’s only one outs 1000 of quotes like that... only about Rinharu.
If you’re having some troubles understanding characters, you can always read the books or free! rediscovery or producer comments or watch cd dramas. There they literally write over scenes how characters feel, which I think is obvious as it is tbh. Like here, for example. This is a legit thing from the book:
Miraculously me and everyone who was watching with me got everything the creators tried to tell without the commentary, but, hey, not everyone’s brains work the same way (and I don’t mean it like you’re stupid, I mean maybe my mind is just ordinary and yours is extraordinary).
I just genuinely wonder... in such moments, those who don’t ship Rinharu think what exactly? Stuff like “Rin just doesn’t see his own happiness that’s right before his eyes”? lol
They even openly admitted that nobody else ever made them feel that way, so it’s just facts. Not my opinion or anything.
Mooks are same. Rinharu mook gives off an entirely different vibe as the others, containing even borderline sexual stuff, which never happened to other ships.
I just myself prefer to not wear blinders. I have ships who are less canon than the other in animes. In some situations saying “just as canon” doesn’t work. Just say “I prefer that for some reason”. It’s a free world. People ship literally whatever in Free even for absolute no reason at all. Will I ever get it? No. But seriously after seeing ppl shipping something over Wangxain, I stopped being surprised.
For example, if I ship a less canon ship, it’s usually because like in bakudeku case I don’t like the way they’re when they’re together and I don’t see how it would work. But stuff like that doesn’t apply in Makoharu/Rinharu case, because Rin and Haru bring out the best in each other and you can’t really argue with that since it’s very clear. So the reason to not wanting them to be together, when they clearly want to be together must have something to do with either your personal preferences (which is like some people truly prefer just staying afloat to surfing waves, also habit is much easier, love is much harder) or with “I don’t want Makoto to be alone” (which is not a good reason to ship it tbh).
So no, in reality, romantic realtionships are always hinted only in Rinharu case. Since that first “Romantic, isn’t it?” Never once anything like that implied to any other ship. Sousuke also never made Rin’s heart skip a beat. They’ve actually also specifically added scenes where Rin picks Haru over Sousuke and Haru picks Rin over Makoto. Which is also why I’ll never get how you’d ship these.
P.S. when I was 16 I’ve watched CW shows, so let me just say 16 and 20 is a huuuge difference when it comes to preferences. There’re things I’ve watched back then, that I wouldn’t watch now without laughing, so who knows what it would be later haha
#answered#anonymous#rinharu#harurin#rin matsuoka#nanase haruka#free!#rin x haru#haruka nanase#otp#sharkbait#free#free! iwatobi swim club#free! road to the world
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...This response took me a million years, because there’s so much textbook abuse and mislabeling that I was like where do I even fucking start and how do I come at this. I’m still not happy with my approach but here we go. Sorry. This is going to be long.
Why do people abuse?
Domestic violence and abuse stem from a desire to gain and maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abusive people believe they have the right to control and restrict their partners, and they may enjoy the feeling that exerting power gives them. They often believe that their own feelings and needs should be the priority in their relationships, so they use abusive tactics to dismantle equality and make their partners feel less valuable and deserving of respect in the relationship. [x]
Abuse is habitual. Everyone on the planet has either intentionally or unintentionally done an abusive act, emotionally or physically, in one of their relationships at some point in their life, but that doesn’t mean that relationship was abusive or that the pair was mutually abusive.
It’s also not uncommon for an abusive relationship to have a degree of abuse from both parties involved. Many victims will unconsciously do something abusive as an attempt to bring balance to the relationship and gain some control, but those incidents are isolated and not “habitual,” which puts them in the overall victim category.
In this abusive relationship:
Jaime is the main victim. Cersei is the main abuser. There’s nothing “mutual” about it.
“lmaoooo Jaime CHOSE to be in this relationship”
I’m aware that GRRM probably intended Jaime to totally jump in 100% by his choice, but that doesn’t change the fact that literally every person in an abusive relationship appears to have chosen to remain in that relationship. Hell, I knew my abuser was abusive before I even got into a relationship with him, but I did it anyway because, man, he was charming and persuasive. He unconsciously used that charm, manipulation, and seduction to keep me hooked while chipping away at my identity. Victims of abuse all have a choice, in theory, but the reality of it is messy, because there’s manipulation at play and a great degree of delusion.
Cersei is guilty of narcissistic abuse.
It’s perfectly valid to view Cersei as a narcissist. She obviously isn’t diagnosed with anything, but I’m reading her as a textbook narcissist so… let’s play. Before I dive into all the abuse, I’m going to dig into Cersei’s narcissism, because it plays into the interpretation of their dynamic.
“You can argue, well, does she genuinely love her children, or does she just love them because they’re her children? There’s certainly a great level of narcissism in Cersei. She has an almost sociopathic view of the world and civilization.” (Also look up: malignant narcissism and sociopathy)
GRRM then immediately makes a comparison to Jaime, contrasting their abilities to love.
“At the same time, what Jaime did is interesting.”
He goes on to describe Jaime’s action of pushing Bran, implying he did it out of genuine love for others (since he used the word genuinely for Cersei and then compared). [x]
“LMAO BUT JAIME IS A NARCISSIST TOO”
No lmfao. Someone can appear narcissistic at times and swing on that spectrum, but that doesn’t make them a narcissist or show they have “a great level of narcissism.” One of the main defining characteristics of a narcissist is a lack of empathy. I’m not even going to dig up all of the empathy examples, because the above comparison from GRRM should be enough to tell you he isn’t writing Jaime as a narcissist and going that route would take this way off topic. Just… read his chapters lol. You don’t even have to get far into his POVs to see empathy and how his thought process is intentionally written to be different than Cersei’s.
Anyway, my level of sympathy for Cersei is entirely wrapped around her narcissism. To me, what’s sad here is the idea she can’t experience true intimacy and is completely unaware of it. She loves Jaime, and I truly believe she believes she loves Jaime, but in reality it’s only at the capacity that narcissism allows.
Narcissistic Abuse:
“Narcissists don’t really love themselves. Actually, they’re driven by shame. It’s the idealized image of themselves, which they convince themselves they embody, that they admire. But deep down, narcissists feel the gap between the façade they show the world and their shame-based self. They work hard to avoid feeling that shame.
Many of the narcissist’s coping mechanisms are abusive — hence the term, “narcissistic abuse.” [x]
I mean… that’s kinda sad? I feel for her in that sense, but, as the article says, “Abuse is abuse, no matter the abuser’s diagnosis.”
Needs to Look Like Her
There are several examples of Cersei commenting on his changed appearance and how she doesn’t like it. That isn’t too weird, since people have their own personal preferences and hey, maybe she just doesn't like beards? But no. That’s not the case. She doesn’t like the changes, because it means he looks less like her. It 100% is about Jaime being male Cersei - an extension of herself.
“Nor did Jaime help her mood when he turned up all in white and still unshaven, to tell her how he meant to keep her son from being poisoned. - AFFC
“his face was thinner, with hollows under his eyes and lines he did not remember. I don’t look as much like Cersei this way. She’ll hate that.” - ASOS
(and lol so tempted to go into how Jaime’s facial hair is symbolic of his identity shift and how that relates to the separation with his twin).
“Jaime likes looking like Cersei too”
Oh does he? If that’s still so then why isn’t he shaving his beard for her?
Has he ever been disgusted by her looks? Does he ever look at siblings and get irritated if he thinks they look more alike? When he noticed his change in appearance did he think, “I hate that we look different” or did he think, “Cersei will hate that”...? (Also, when he thinks that he would be Cersei in fucking ASOS - *pre-handchop which is pre-arc-* that’s a laughably obvious set up for the identity aspect of his arc with that belief being destroy, you dense- ...*deep breath* moving on)
I’m sure he romanticized the looks to an extent, but it’s been made clear that it’s far more important to Cersei than it is to him, since she often makes note of his change in appearance. This is even shown in a scene where Cersei is observing Loras and Margaery and getting annoyed that they look more like twins than she and Jaime do.
For some context, Cersei was watching them dance.
“They could be twins, Cersei thought as she watched them. Ser Loras was a year older than his sister, but they had the same big brown eyes, the same thick brown hair falling in lazy ringlets to their shoulders, the same smooth unblemished skin. A ripe crop of pimples would teach them some humility. Loras was taller and had a few wisps of soft brown fuzz on his face, and Margaery had a woman’s shape, but elsewise they were more alike than she and Jaime.
That annoyed her too. -AFFC”
Narcissistic abuse includes emotional and physical and is used as an umbrella term for the two when they’re done by a narcissist, therefore slightly changing the context of the abuse.
I’m not going to pretend that GRRM sat down with a sexual narcissist checklist, created from the hours of research through his dinosaur computer, BUT he clearly is aware of basic narcissistic and abusive dynamics. It’s… really not that hard. And even if you don’t think he consciously did it, her behaviors are still aligned.
“LmAo CeRsEi’S ‘EvIL VaGiNa’ - MiSoGyNiStS!”
…manipulation through sex is an actual fucking thing that’s genderless.
Right lmfao this is going to be long.
“A sexual narcissist is a person who uses sex as a tool to emotionally manipulate their victims to get what they want.”
People admit that she uses sex as a tool to get stuff done, claiming its her form of power in the patriarchy. What they fail to consider is that Cersei does this frequently to Jaime - a person who is meant to be her lover - which… makes him a victim of narcissistic abuse. Don’t believe me?
I’m going to be using this article to break apart sexual narcissism. If you want more just research. They all pretty much say the same thing, but I chose this one because I prefer the structure. The article breaks examples into categories:
Sex is used to manipulate/persuade
Excessive focus on physical over emotional
You Exist to Serve the Narcissist’s Needs
Constantly Puts You Down
Reacts Negatively When You Don’t Give Them What They Want
Treats You Poorly / Neglects You After Sex
Infidelity, Violence, and Sexual Addiction
This whole post has been a nightmare to organize. Tbh most of the examples I’ll use fall under MULTIPLE categories. The scenes are like fucking Russian dolls of abuse. Or like… Abuse Inception. Abuse within abuse within abuse, so I had to just pick and choose which ones to put where.
Charming and Romantic – But with a Catch
“Many sexual narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, especially during the initial stages of a relationship, when they’re trying to win you over. Like a master salesperson, they use charisma to get your attention, flattery to make you feel special, seduction (flirting, gifts, dinners, get-aways, etc.) to lift you off your feet, and persuasion to get you to give them what they want. Some sexual narcissists are very good in bed (at least they think they are), for sex is used as a tool to impress, entrap, and manipulate.
While there’s absolutely nothing wrong inherently with being charming, romantic, and a good lover, the narcissist crafts these traits in order to use others. He or she is not really interested in you, but only what he wants to extract from you (often to fulfill an inner emptiness due to the inability to create true intimacy).”
You can even find some meta that almost word for word says what’s described above, but they erase her doing this to Jaime - her partner- and frame these actions as feminist lol.
Eel Alley.
“But,” Jaime said, “there’s Casterly Rock …”
“Is it a rock you want? Or me?”
She then starts to seduce him to show him what he can have, to have the scale weigh in her favor. Manipulation through sex.
“He remembered that night as if it were yesterday. They spent it in an old inn on Eel Alley, well away from watchful eyes. Cersei had come to him dressed as a simple serving wench, which somehow excited him all the more. Jaime had never seen her more passionate. Every time he went to sleep, she woke him again. By morning Casterly Rock seemed a small price to pay to be near her always. He gave his consent, and Cersei promised to do the rest.” - AFFC
There's no indication whatsoever that Jaime had any intent to NOT wed and be Lord of Casterly Rock. He wasn’t really into Lysa but he never straight up refused to take on the role he was born into. In fact, he even kinda fancied Catelyn lol.
“Lord Hoster kept me for a fortnight whilst mulling his reply, and sat me beside his daughter Lysa at every meal.”
“Small wonder you took the white. I’d have done the same.”
“Oh, Lysa was not so fearsome as all that.” She had been a pretty girl, in truth; dimpled and delicate, with long auburn hair. Timid, though. Prone to tongue-tied silences and fits of giggles, with none of Cersei’s fire. Her older sister had seemed more interesting, though Catelyn was promised to some northern boy, the heir of Winterfell …”
And lol
“but at that age, no girl interested Jaime half so much as Hoster’s famous brother, who had won renown fighting the Ninepenny Kings upon the Stepstones.” - AFFC
He doesn’t even say, “but at that age, no girl interested Jaime so much as Cersei.” No. The Blackfish. Had Catelyn been unbetrothed, it’s not a stretch to think that Jaime would have been entertained by the idea of their betrothal. This was before Cersei seduced him at Eel Alley.
“hE GaVe HiS ConSenT”
Yeah, after she manipulated him through sex LOL. IT’S RIGHT THERE.
“Jaime always wanted to join the KG!”
“He had joined the Kingsguard for love, of course”.-ASOS
(HEY! Just like that tall, blonde, “beauty” he’s been hanging out with HHMM)
He wasn’t going to join the KG before Cersei gave him “love,” which is why he was asking about Casterly Rock and talking about Tywin, as if this was an idea he hadn’t thought of before. (Knight and KG are not synonymous). He joined “for love” AFTER she gave him intimacy, showing him what he could have if he agreed to stay by her side forever.
She even murdered Melara -HER FRIEND- for saying she wanted to marry Jaime one day. She kept trying to rob Jaime of a life outside of her, and yes I use the word “rob,” because it was through narcissistic abuse. She literally turned up the passion and kept waking him up with sex until he gave his consent.
And “by morning” Casterly Rock was “a small price to pay.” A SMALL PRICE TO PAY. That means it was worth something of value to him and then “by morning,” after she woke him up over and over and over until he agreed, it became a “small price.”
Also keep in mind that when Cersei was begging Jaime to join the KG to be close to her, she was legitimately crushing hard on Rhaegar not long before... she’s allowed to fantasize about marriage with Rhaegar, but Jaime isn’t allowed to fit his role and marry?
“once she had drawn a picture of herself flying behind Rhaegar on a dragon, her arms wrapped tight about his chest. When Jaime had discovered it she told him it was Queen Alysanne and King Jaehaerys. [...] By night the prince played his silver harp and made her weep. When she had been presented to him, Cersei had almost drowned in the depths of his sad purple eyes. He has been wounded, she recalled thinking, but I will mend his hurt when we are wed. Next to Rhaegar, even her beautiful Jaime had seemed no more than a callow boy. The prince is going to be my husband, she had thought, giddy with excitement, and when the old king dies I’ll be the queen.” -AFFC
Like… fuck…
Later on, when Jaime is developing into his own being and becoming aware of the bs, the Eel Alley scene is brought up again.
“Cersei.” He spoke slowly, like a man waking from a dream, still wondering where he was. “What hour is it?”
“The hour of the wolf.” His sister lowered her hood, and made a face. “The drowned wolf, perhaps.” She smiled for him, so sweetly.”
There’s the use of charm. Normally you could argue that she was honestly happy to see him. But what does she say next and what does he associate with that encounter?
“Do you remember the first time I came to you like this? It was some dismal inn off Weasel Alley, and I put on servant’s garb to get past Father’s guards.”
“I remember. It was Eel Alley.” She wants something of me. “Why are you here, at this hour? What would you have of me?” His last word echoed up and down the sept, mememememememememememe, fading to a whisper. For a moment he dared to hope that all she wanted was the comfort of his arms.”
And he wasn’t wrong. She did want something from him. So no. It’s not in his head.
“Jaime, Kevan has refused me. He will not serve as Hand [...] “You must be Tommen’s Hand.” -AFFC
This time he realizes what she’s doing. Using her outfit, she’s causing a recall to a past manipulative event that worked, exposing her intent, which is why Jaime immediately recognizes it as something she wants from him. This also implies that he now views their encounter at Eel Alley as Cersei wanting something of him since the two encounters were directly associated.
Here’s another moment of manipulation by a sexual narcissist.
“My sister wanted the girl to lose a hand. The old penalty, for striking one of the blood royal. Robert told her she was cruel and mad. They fought for half the night … well, Cersei fought, and Robert drank. Past midnight, the queen summoned me inside.”
Failing to get Robert to side with her and do something, she then summoned Jaime to give him the attention she knows he wants. You see where I’m going here?
“The king was passed out snoring on the Myrish carpet. I asked my sister if she wanted me to carry him to bed. She told me I should carry her to bed, and shrugged out of her robe. I took her on Raymun Darry’s bed after stepping over Robert. If His Grace had woken I would have killed him there and then. He would not have been the first king to die upon my sword … but you know that story, don’t you?” He slashed at a tree branch, shearing it in half. “As I was fucking her, Cersei cried, ‘I want.’ I thought that she meant me, but it was the Stark girl that she wanted, maimed or dead.” The things I do for love. - AFFC
This isn’t Jaime interpreting the incident incorrectly. This is character growth.
GRRM is speaking through Jaime by destroying the illusion and becoming aware of the reality he has been living. Because the lights are turning on for him, the things I do for love can take on a new meaning here. It’s more like the things I do to earn intimacy. He’s jogging down memory lane and realizing that every time (shown or told about in the books) she approached him she was trying to get something from him or trying to get him to agree with her. There was always a motive apart from a genuine desire to give and receive love, no strings attached.
Excessive Focus on Physical Over Emotional
“The sexual narcissist’s style of love-making is often focused on appearance and image, with a keen dislike for flaws and weaknesses from oneself or the partner. The love-making is less about two human beings connecting, and more about measuring up to idealized expectations. Try as the sexual narcissist might at physical grandiosity, there’s inevitably something missing in their performance: genuine human emotions.”
Mm yes.Going back to this as an example:
“his face was thinner, with hollows under his eyes and lines he did not remember. I don’t look as much like Cersei this way. She’ll hate that.” - ASOS
“The Targaryens wed brother to sister for three hundred years, to keep the bloodlines pure. And Jaime and I are more than brother and sister. We are one person in two bodies. We shared a womb together. He came into this world holding my foot, our old maester said. When he is in me, I feel … whole.” - AGOT
“I need you. I need my other half.” He could hear the rain pattering against the windows high above. “You are me, I am you. I need you with me. In me. Please, Jaime. Please.” - AFFC
People use Cersei’s romanticized twin comments as evidence to show that she genuinely loves Jaime. This also can connect to the GRRM quote mentioned above about her genuine love capabilities which can be argued as “lol no”.
She does not have “genuine human emotions,” because her words and feelings are from a narcissistic desire to be whole through the idea that Jaime is an extension of herself. So… yeah, if she thinks Jaime is herself as a male (“you are me, I am you”), then she’s missing half of her until he’s inside her, making her whole. Her, her, her, her.
Also, that’s a move to try to strip him of his own identity, his own person, and is a fucking massive red flag that this is how the relationship began. Does he ever try to persuade her to do shit by reminding her that they’re the same person? Like ffs.
She does this while trying to manipulate him using sex. He’s not listening to her, so she begs him to be inside her. Hey, why not? We’ve seen this work before.
“Every time he went to sleep, she woke him again. By morning Casterly Rock seemed a small price to pay to be near her always. He gave his consent, and Cersei promised to do the rest.” - ASOS
You Exist to Serve the Narcissist’s Needs.
“After the initial courtship period during which he or she tries to impress and please, a sexual narcissist may begin to demand that you cater primarily to his own selfish needs. He may expect you to be “on call”
Okay I bolded that “on call” bit, because she does go to him when she wants something, and then gets hella mad when he refuses. But I know some people will use this to be like BuT JaImE TaKeS hEr WhEn He WaNts and like.. Yeah, fair enough, you can make that argument, but… that’s leaving out context. He goes to her because she’s withholding intimacy and only initiates when she wants something from him. I’m going to play devil’s advocate and say it does fit. Remember what I said in the beginning that it’s not uncommon for victims to act in ways that are problematic (hate that word) to try to get back some control? Yeah. Apply this here. His unhealthy response is a reaction to her using intimacy as a tool.
“and satisfy sexual desires at his pleasure, require you to engage in sexual acts which only he enjoys [doesn’t really apply], or demand that you limit your other activities to be more available. Rather than being an individual with your own thoughts, feelings and priorities. The sexual narcissist expects you to exist merely as an extension of his or her wishes. ”
Cersei resents Jaime for disagreeing with her and thinking on his own. Literally the “you are me” bs and how she gets really angry when he begins to challenge her and goes against her wishes. She views him as someone who needs to cater to her, All he’s doing for her to slap and throw nasty words and cups at him is just... not doing what she asks him to do... his existence in Cersei’s life is simply to cater to her.
Constantly Puts You Down
“In order to put up a facade of superiority, and disguise hidden insecurity and inadequacy, some narcissists will constantly put other people down, to boost their own desirability and acceptability. In a sexual relationship, some (but not all) narcissists may also target their partners for ridicule, blame, shame, sarcasm, and overall marginalization. By subjecting the partner to an inferior psychological position, the narcissist is able to exercise a greater degree of dominance and manipulation.”
I mean… Do I really need to provide examples here? This is actually similar to the next one, so I’m going to put my examples there.
Reacts Negatively When You Don’t Give Them What They Want
“Since many sexual narcissists can't stand disappointment or rejection, they will frequently react negatively when you don’t give them what they want, in the way they want it. Some of the common responses include:
Anger – Tantrum. Negative judgment. Personal attacks. Ridicule.
Passive-Aggression – The cold shoulder. The silent treatment. Withhold of love and affection [which ties in to withholding intimacy examples I provided above]. Sarcasm. Calculated separation.
Emotional Coercion – Blame. Guilt trip. Calling the partner ungrateful. Threaten to withhold love and intimacy (such as it is). Pretend narcissistic victimhood.
None of these responses are those of a mature, reasonable adult. The sexual narcissist, by acting like a petulant child or a bully, hopes the drama and manipulation will hook you back in, so you’ll once again “belong” to him or her.”
Some of this is physical abuse too, so I’m sticking those under here. And yes, slapping counts as physical abuse and it doesn’t matter who the hell does it.
“Rule? I said naught of ruling. I shall rule until my son comes of age.”
“I don’t know who I pity more,” her brother said. “Tommen, or the Seven Kingdoms.” She slapped him. Jaime’s arm rose to catch the blow, cat-quick … but this cat had a cripple’s stump in place of a right hand. Her fingers left red marks on his cheek. - AFFC
Keep in mind that every time Jaime’s reflex goes to his face to block a blow it’s a sign that this is a behavior he’s used to. Sometimes people use the, “I don’t know who I pity more” line as well for “mutual abuse.” Context and… where’s the lie? Lmao.
Most of the time he’s being straight with her. Snarky ass? Sure. Abusive? No. Intent is key. She puts him down to shame him and attempts to decrease his self-worth. This is a control move, because she throws cruel words at him when she is unsuccessful in getting what she wants. He sometimes calls her a fool and one time asks if she’s drunk or stupid, because she’s legit spiraling into a paranoia and he’s going wtf lol. He’s not trying to make her dependent on him through the use of his poor language.
Anyway, back to physical.
Jaime felt his anger rising. “True, Loras does not leer at your teats the way Ser Osmund does, but I hardly think—”
“Think about this.” Cersei slapped his face. Jaime made no attempt to block the blow.
“I see I need a thicker beard, to cushion me against my queen’s caresses.” He wanted to rip her gown off and turn her blows to kisses. He’d done it before, back when he had two good hands.”
People love to use this against Jaime. Ffs. He’s literally trying to fucking defend himself from physical abuse by trying to diffuse the situation through sex, turning “blows to kisses.” This is one of those messy situations where it’s a victim trying to gain back control in an unhealthy, arguably abusive way. Does that make them anywhere near “mutually” abusive as if they’re 50/50? LMFAO no.
“Would Your Grace honor her white knight with a dance?” She gave him a withering look. “And have you fumbling at me with that stump? No. I will let you fill my wine cup for me, though. If you think you can manage it without spilling.” - AFFC
She turns him down with her disgust over his missing hand and then allows him to fill her cup I-
“Get out, I said. I am sick of looking at that ugly stump of yours. Get out!” To speed him on his way, she heaved her wine cup at his head. She missed, but Jaime took the hint.” - AFFC
Alright this big one…
WST:
“You mustn’t let Father take him from me. Jaime, please.
“I can talk to him, but he will not listen …”
“He will if you agree to leave the Kingsguard.”
“I’m not leaving the Kingsguard.” His sister fought back tears.
“Jaime, you’re my shining knight. You cannot abandon me when I need you most! He is stealing my son, sending me away … and unless you stop him, Father is going to force me to wed again!”
Guilt tripping and playing up the loving language.
Also, off topic, but I just want to point out that it’s funny Cersei came to him in Eel Alley to persuade him to join the KG to be with her. Jaime said they can’t get Tywin’s approval, so then she fucks him all night and he agrees. They played as lovers before that moment, but that was the night that sealed their affair to one another, to remove himself off the market and stay by her side forever. In this scene, she’s coming to him to ask him to LEAVE the KG, knowing Tywin would approve, and when he’s questioning the idea she tries to have sex with him, BUT he refuses her so her plan doesn’t work, making this moment the solid beginning of their downfall lmao. The opposite of Eel Alley.
“It makes no matter who they wed me to, I want you at my side, I want you in my bed, I want you inside me. Nothing has changed between us.”
Increasing the level of manipulation through intimacy since her previous persuasive strategy wasn’t working.
“Let me prove it to you.” She pushed up his tunic and began to fumble with the laces of his breeches. Jaime felt himself responding.
“No,” he said, “not here.” They had never done it in White Sword Tower, much less in the Lord Commander’s chambers. “Cersei, this is not the place.”
“You took me in the sept. This is no different.”
She drew out his cock and bent her head over it. Jaime pushed her away with the stump of his right hand. “No. Not here, I said.” He forced himself to stand. For an instant he could see confusion in her bright green eyes, and fear as well. Then rage replaced it.
Angry reaction due to refusal of sex. Childish reaction from not getting what she wants which quickly turns into bullying.
Cersei gathered herself together, got to her feet, straightened her skirts. “Was it your hand they hacked off in Harrenhal, or your manhood?” As she shook her head, her hair tumbled around her bare white shoulders. “I was a fool to come. You lacked the courage to avenge Joffrey, why would I think that you’d protect Tommen? Tell me, if the Imp had killed all three of your children, would that have made you wroth?”
Lol people thinking she was there to hang out with him. She admits to only being in there to ask something of him. “I was a fool to come.” Don’t miss out on the angry, nasty response because she was rejected and couldn’t use her favorite go-to manipulation tactic.
“You great golden fool. He’s lied to you a thousand times, and so have I.” [...]
“You had best go, Cersei. You’re making me angry.”
“Oh, an angry cripple. How terrifying.” She laughed. “A pity Lord Tywin Lannister never had a son. I could have been what he wanted, but I lacked the cock. And speaking of such, best tuck yours away, brother. It looks rather sad and small, hanging from your breeches like that.”
She’s trying to establish superiority by attempting to break him down, using his disability against him and attacking his manhood.
More?
“Gold? Or silver?” Cersei plucked a hair from beneath his chin and held it up. It was grey. “All the color is draining out of you, brother. You’ve become a ghost of what you were, a pale crippled thing. And so bloodless, always in white.” She flicked the hair away. “I prefer you garbed in crimson and gold.” - AFFC
I mean…I think that’s enough.
lol jk
“Tell him what has happened, and write … write …”
“Yes, Your Grace?” She licked her lips, shivering. “Come at once. Help me. Save me. I need you now as I have never needed you before. I love you. I love you. I love you. Come at once.”
“As you command. ‘I love you’ thrice?”
“Thrice.” She had to reach him. “He will come. I know he will. He must. Jaime is my only hope.”
“My queen,” said Qyburn, “have you … forgotten? Ser Jaime has no sword hand. If he should champion you and lose …”
We will leave this world together, as we once came into it. “He will not lose. Not Jaime. Not with my life at stake.” - AFFC
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHE
FUCKING
THOUGHT
ABOUT
HOW TO WORD IT
TO GET HIM TO COME BACK
SHE CONSCIOUSLY, FORMULATED A PLAN TO WRITE “I LOVE YOU”
SPECIFICALLY THREE TIMES
TO “REACH HIM.”
SHE. LITERALLY. ADMITS. TO MANIPULATING HIM. THROUGH EMOTIONS.
“Come at once,” she said. “Help me. Save me. I need you now as I have never needed you before. I love you. I love you. I love you. Come at once.”
Vyman was hovering by the door, waiting, and Jaime sensed that Peck was watching too. “Does my lord wish to answer?” the maester asked, after a long silence. A snowflake landed on the letter. As it melted, the ink began to blur. Jaime rolled the parchment up again, as tight as one hand would allow, and handed it to Peck.
“No,” he said. “Put this in the fire.”-AFFC
And Jaime had so much character growth by that point that IT DIDN’T FUCKING WORK LMAO. Her game isn’t working anymore. And not only is she trying to manipulate him through loving words, she’s also NOT GIVING A FUCK ABOUT HIS LIFE OUTSIDE OF HERSELF, because she’s acknowledging that if she’s going down then she’s taking him with her. T
he loving thing to do would be, “Jaime, I won’t allow you to be my champion. You’re missing your good hand and can’t win. I don’t want to be the one to cause your death.” But Cersei never gave a shit about his life outside of her so... not a shocker. (Also I just lmao that around the same time Cersei is trying to get Jaime to come back for his death sentence, Brienne is out there willing to literally hang by a noose to save him. Great contrast.)
On to Jaime…
I did a bit of research to see why the fuck people think Jaime is abusive towards Cersei. Almost all of the examples involve their type of sex play, his thoughts (WHAT LMAO), and… not understanding the difference between toxicity and abuse. Abuse is always toxic, but toxicity isn’t always abusive.
I’ve been in both an abusive and toxic relationship and the difference was that my partner in the toxic one wasn’t trying to establish constant control through various different methods. He wasn’t using me for his own gain or trying to make me feel like garbage about myself. He didn’t become physical when I went against him. In my non-abuse toxic one, we were like each other’s “drug.” Extreme highs and lows, propping each other up on a pedestal, losing ourselves within the relationship by wrapping our happiness around the other. The twins are definitely toxic, mutually, but some of Jaime’s unhealthy behaviors are confused with abuse and, ironically, his more questionable actions stem from Cersei’s abuse on him.
Quoting this again since it’s like a million pages up:
Why do people abuse?
Domestic violence and abuse stem from a desire to gain and maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abusive people believe they have the right to control and restrict their partners, and they may enjoy the feeling that exerting power gives them. They often believe that their own feelings and needs should be the priority in their relationships, so they use abusive tactics to dismantle equality and make their partners feel less valuable and deserving of respect in the relationship. [x]
There is a difference between UNHEALTHY/TOXIC and ABUSIVE.
Don’t come at me about the patriarchy being the reason why Cersei can’t be abusive towards Jaime (yes… I’ve actually seen that hot take). Within their own personal dynamic, Cersei has power over Jaime just by the nature of him being in the KG. She literally uses her position to tell him where to go and what to do, and even oversteps her boundaries sometimes by giving orders for him.
As stated above, she manipulated him into joining the KG with implied promises of being together always. She then had affairs behind his back, used intimacy to persuade him, and cruelly put him down when he didn’t want to do the things she asked of him. That’s Cersei trying to maintain control of their dynamic. This is a “pattern of behavior” that dates back to at least Eel Alley.
Unhealthy/Toxic
There isn’t a clear line when a relationship becomes unhealthy or abusive. This means it might be hard to figure out what kind of relationship you’re in. Remember that abuse is all about power and control. An unhealthy relationship might involve a power imbalance, being mean, ignoring boundaries [x]
Unhealthy behaviors can appear to be abusive behaviors, and certain toxic acts can turn into abusive over time, but they’re not the same thing.
For Jaime’s side of the “abuse,” he falls more often into the “unhealthy” category. I’m going to respond to a meta I came across recently.
“Jaime has channelled all his sexual desire into Cersei for most of his life (even thinking “I’ve been too long away from Cersei” when he experiences some arousal upon seeing Brienne naked), and that is not something one partner should put upon another. He judges the attractiveness of other women in reference to Cersei: Brienne, once, and Hildy the sex worker in ADWD. Cersei is a person, not a standard of idealised beauty.”
People twist the entire context to make him appear to be somehow abusive in a situation that actually…. sounds like a victim. Cersei wants that level of devotion from Jaime (and so do some of her stans), which is literally exactly why they don’t think Jaime and Brienne are a love story and why Cersei is like LMAO HER? Jaime would never leave me for that creature! SHE’S UGLY.
She lived her whole life knowing that Jaime only had eyes for her, and the irony of “not a standard of idealised beauty” is that Cersei wants to be the standard of idealised beauty. He’s not “putting” anything on her. He’s reflecting what she wants and what has been reinforced since childhood.
Besides that, I don’t see why it’s so wrong for Jaime to think Cersei is the most beautiful woman on the planet lol. And way to miss the entire fucking point, because the point is that YEAH, their entire relationship is superficial. Superficiality is unhealthy to an extent, but it’s not “abusive.” Jaime has only been with one woman his entire life and now he’s finally starting to encounter women away from his sister, so of course he’s going to compare. It’s like if you never left your town but one day decided to venture out into the world outside of it. You’re going to compare the buildings, the culture, etc because your mind is going to be expanding.
“ Until late in ASoS, he does not value his Kingsguard vows except as they allow him to be close to her. (Again, mutually abusive relationship; Cersei’s actions were vital in getting him into this position where he has nothing but her.)”
HOW IS THIS ABUSIVE ON JAIME’S END? And I already discussed how she manipulated him into that situation with Casterly Rock being something of value to him.
“Cersei has no meaningful relationships with anyone or anything outside of Jaime and her children. This is bad for both of them. So much of their emotional energy goes into each other, fostering the sense that they are not independent, whole people, and reinforcing the sense that the relationship is the only thing of value in their lives.”
Yeah! It is! And since Jaime is in the KG because Cersei convinced him to join, and she literally murdered her friend because the girl expressed wanting to marry Jaime, I WONDER WHY JAIME HAS NO FUCKING LIFE OUTSIDE OF CERSEI? As for Cersei, she CHOOSES to limit herself to Lannisters. Jaime isn’t forcing her to not have friends what the actual fuck. Cersei murders her friends lmfao.
This is unhealthy, not abusive, on Jaime’s end. HE isn’t the one “fostering the sense that they are not independent, whole people.” As explained above, CERSEI is the one repeating this over and over, using it to convince him, to control, to attempt to rob him of his identity when he tries to stray. So on Cersei’s end, yeah, that’s abuse.
“For all his idealisation of her and their relationship, Jaime’s trust in Cersei is also a very brittle thing. When Tyrion tells Jaime “she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know,” while still believing Cersei’s declaration that Tyrion has “lied to you a thousand times, and so have I” was “a clumsy attempt to hurt him,” he doesn’t do what someone in a healthy relationship would do, and ask her. Whatever trust he has in her vanishes in two sentences, one about Cersei’s honesty, one about her fidelity.”
And… his… lack of trust was justified anyway? LMAO. He even thinks at some point that Tyrion IS lying. And when he’s away from Cersei in ASOS, he doesn’t imagine her fucking other people while he’s gone, because he trusted her. He genuinely believes that she’s faithful to him (which is precisely why he felt so betrayed). But he also trusts Tyrion, so he went back and forth, wondering wtf was the truth.
AND HOW THE FUCK IS LACK OF TRUST ABUSIVE? This is another case of IT’S UNHEALTHY to have little to no trust in your relationship. Not abusive ffs (!!!)
“Jaime is abusive because he coerces her into sex”
BTW, a person who laughed at me and said this also is a huge twincest shipper which… why… do you… romanticize it and claim their love to be True.. If… you think… he does that?!
Pretty much everyone brings up “sexual coercion.” And you know what? Fair.
But... Jaime and Cersei are drawn to a messy push-pull sex play. She says no and then “weakley” pushes him away.
There were soft, wet sounds. Bran realized they were kissing. He watched, wide-eyed and frightened, his breath tight in his throat. The man had a hand down between her legs, and he must have been hurting her there, because the woman started to moan, low in her throat. “Stop it,” she said, “stop it, stop it. Oh, please …” But her voice was low and weak, and she did not push him away. Her hands buried themselves in his hair, his tangled golden hair, and pulled his face down to her breast. -AGOT
This is GRRM trying to clarify that this is their messy sex dynamic. I mean, he has a fucking little kid observe this all “oh hey but she isn’t pushing him away guys! It’s all good, guys! That’s just them!” Like he’s taking down notes. The 4th wall being broken here is almost jarring.
This sounds a lot like the scene at WF.
“No,” she said weakly when his lips moved down her neck, “not here. The septons …”
“The Others can take the septons.” He kissed her again, kissed her silent, kissed her until she moaned. Then he knocked the candles aside and lifted her up onto the Mother’s altar, pushing up her skirts and the silken shift beneath. She pounded on his chest with feeble fists, murmuring about the risk, the danger, about their father, about the septons, about the wrath of gods. He never heard her. He undid his breeches and climbed up and pushed her bare white legs apart. One hand slid up her thigh and underneath her smallclothes. When he tore them away, he saw that her moon’s blood was on her, but it made no difference. “Hurry,” she was whispering now, “quickly, quickly, now, do it now, do me now. Jaime Jaime Jaime.” Her hands helped guide him. “Yes,” Cersei said as he thrust, “my brother, sweet brother, yes, like that, yes, I have you, you’re home now, you’re home now, you’re home.” She kissed his ear and stroked his short bristly hair. Jaime lost himself in her flesh. He could feel Cersei’s heart beating in time with his own, and the wetness of blood and seed where they were joined. - ASOS
In both scenes she’s weakly protesting which implies it’s a form of their sex play, and she’s being turned on by him “taking” her. This depiction of sex was actually really trendy in the media not too long ago, so honestly the sex scenes for this “edgey couple” just exposes his age. That push-pull, yes/no, “he can’t resist me” wasn’t nearly as controversial as it is now. He was literally writing what used to be seen as hot. It obviously did not age well.
And GRRM never meant for Jaime to be interpreted as a rapist.
"If the show had retained some of Cersei's dialogue from the books, it might have left a somewhat different impression – but that dialogue was very much shaped by the circumstances of the books, delivered by a woman who is seeing her lover again for the first time after a long while apart during which she feared he was dead. I am not sure it would have worked with the new timeline. That's really all I can say on this issue. The scene was always intended to be disturbing … but I do regret if it has disturbed people for the wrong reasons." [x]
“Jaime thinks of her as a whore”
WHY IS THERE A THOUGHT POLICE? How is it abuse that he thinks a word with zero abusive action attached to it?? And like fuck LMAO Cersei is the one that goes off with the word “whore” quite often, in a misogynistic way.
What’s even stupider is when Jaime thinks of her as a “whore,” he’s just reciting what Tyrion told him, word for word. The words came from Tyrion, so Tyrion’s words are playing out in his mind.
“Cersei is a lying whore, she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and probably Moon Boy for all I know. And I am the monster they all say I am. Yes, I killed your vile son.” - AFFC
Oh, how Tyrion was sniggering.… a lying whore … fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack … - AFFC
And he even removes the whore bit.
“If so, we might have coaxed the truth from them.” … she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know … - AFFC
Ser Osmund Kettleblack paced beside them in his white enamel plate and white wool cloak. “… she been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know …” - AFFC
Jaime could feel his phantom fingers itching at the sight of him.… fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know … - AFFC
Strong and vigorous and handsome, Jaime thought.… she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know … - AFFC
He wanted to kiss her, carry her to her bedchamber, throw her on the bed … she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy … - AFFC
That only made her laugh. “We all have secrets, brother,” she replied. … she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know … - AFFC
Now there’s this time where he says,
Jaime gave a shrug. “My apologies if I mistook you for something you’re not. My little brother has known a hundred whores, I’m sure, but I’ve only ever bedded one.” -ADWD
OMG EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING NOW IT’S TIME TO OFFICIALLY STAMP HIM AS A MISOGYNIST AND THIS AS MUTUAL ABUSE towards someone who isn’t even fucking there and for bitterly thinking of his cheating partner as a whore in a world that throws that word around like it’s candy at a parade.
Since “whore” in Westeros is more loosely thrown around than it is in our world, the incredibly hurt and angry Jaime thinking she’s a whore for sleeping with multiple people behind his back is not that fucking wild. Do I think that's sexist? Yeah. Do I think it’s healthy? No. Do I think it’s a realistic response that a very hurt person would think, especially in a world where it’s a common term? Absolutely.
“He dreams about hurting her though so lol he’s clearly violent against her”
(yes I’ve unfortunately seen this a lot)
Hey all... I have a confession to make...
I dreamed about pushing a certain politician in front of a bus and bashing D&D’s teeth in. I also had a dream where I kicked my sister because she ate my last piece of cheesecake. I’m so sorry. Please lock me up and throw away the key until it’s time for me to be executed.
Last night he dreamed he’d found her fucking Moon Boy. He’d killed the fool and smashed his sister’s teeth to splinters with his golden hand, just as Gregor Clegane had done to poor Pia. -AFFC
… he DREAMED it.
PEOPLE ARE FUCKING USING THIS AS EVIDENCE FOR MUTUAL ABUSE BECAUSE HE DREAMED IT.
You know partly why? Because they THINK he’s going to murder her or harm her, so they’re prematurely calling him abusive and removing literally all the context because... IT HASN’T HAPPENED. They’re essentially accusing a man of doing something before he even does it without even knowing FOR SURE if he’s even going to do it, USING THIS DREAM TO ACCUSE HIM LOL.
god THIS FUCKING FANDOM I-
DREAMS. ARE NOT. ABUSE
I’mcryingwhydoIhavetosaythat
Not only is it in a dream, but like, idk, why do you think he’s having those violent dreams? Did she do something to really hurt him so his pain is manifesting in his subconscious as violence? IDK just a wild guess! Maybe he specifically thought about smashing her teeth in, because just previously they were speaking about how Ser Gregor did the same thing to Pia. You know... kinda like me dreaming about angrily pushing my cheating ex down the stairs after I watched a murder mystery documentary where someone was pushed down a flight of stairs. (Oh but my ex was a man, so it’s just viewed as a dream).
… the cringe of the thought police...
Yeah. I’m done. I didn’t even dig up all of Cersei’s instances of abuse and this thing is like fucking 20 pages long. So even IF you view Jaime’s thoughts (!!!!) as abusive and IF you believe he was full on coercing or raping her, they still aren’t nearly MUTUALLY abusive, as in 50/50 abuse, and I’m just going to circle back around to what I said in the beginning about the main victims reacting in problematic ways.
Anyway. I always start these as calm and cool and then end with all caps and a glass of wine to chill me out. All I have left to say about whatever that “mutually abusive” meta was is
#longest one I've ever done heads up LOL#jaime lannister#asoiaf#probably have a million mistakes and a thousand regrettable things but I'm tired and want this done#but honestly thanks anon#I was legit wanting to write about this for a long time#abuse
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YOU GOT: TŌRU OIKAWA
matchup for @triniteaaa !
‘my hobbies include making niche playlists (because i’m on that gifted kid burnout type beat), watching crime shows, baking, cooking, dancing in the kitchen WHILE baking and cooking, singing in the shower, reading poetry about love, and ruthlessly making fun of my friends (in the most loving ways)’
♡ remember that scene were oikawa had his lil blue earbuds in, watching the game on his phone before yanking out his earbuds and running away (the scene where everyone started simping over his ear); imagine that scene except, instead of being salty and and scaring innocent children, oikawa is taking a brisk winter jog through his community, admiring the scenery, thinking of you while a niche playlist you made for him is playing through his earbuds
♡ oikawa is the epitome of failing to meet the high expectation set for him at a young age by himself, peers, teachers and parents - like if he was a host in OHSHC, y’know how they all have their ‘types’ (mori is the ‘strong, silent type’, honey is the ‘boy lolita type etc etc), oikawa’s would be the ‘gifted kid bournout but still charming type’
♡ so yeah, to elaborate on that ^ he probably gets what your are going through and gives you reassurance when you need it - but for the most part, he just likes to bury it deep down within and make jokes about it with you 🤠
♡ as for the crime shows, i can imagine oikawa enjoying true crime podcasts and stuff like that so he’d definitely watch them with you but if you get scared afterwards - like if you hear an eerie noise in the house and get frightened - don’t expect him to be of any help. like yeah, he’ll wrap his arms around you, rub comforting circles on your back and tease you for being his lil scardey-cat but in reality, he just does a fairly good job of hiding the fact he is literally shitting himself too
♡ idk if oikawa cooks but he’d look hot asf in an apron so- KRBRHX he probably gets one with something like ‘kiss the chef 💋’ written on it and whenever you go near him while he is cooking and try to talk to his, he gestures to the words on his aprons lmao
♡ he enjoys baking/cooking but he doesn’t do it too often or passionately, the only time he does is when he needs to eat or during a date with you. bc if you’re in the kitchen making cookies then ofc he is going to join you- he’s not very much help though; the most he does is take the cookies out of the oven for you when you’re preoccupied but other than that, he’s more of a hinderance bc he likes to wipe dough on your face just to annoy you
♡ istg oikawa noticing you cooking while one of your more romantic playlists is on in the background, then swooping in, taking both of your hands in his own and waltzing around the kitchen with you. him mouthing the lyrics to the song and admiring your flustered expression as you stumbled, trying to match his pace ..lives in my head rent free 🤠
♡ ok so if you’re showering in en suite bathroom and he’s in the room next door, please sing loud enough for him to hear you through the walls and the heavy pattering of the water against the shower floor...because he’ll 100% sing back/sing with you
♡ like if it’s a chill, quiet song you’ll probably be able to hear his faint humming through the wall if you listen closely; if it’s a song with a duet, he’ll sing as which ever part you don’t want; if it’s a song with long notes, where the singer has a very powerful voice, he’ll reach that part and try hit the high/low note with you so you can both laugh at each other afterwards
♡ i could go on forever about how he sings different songs with you so i’ll stop rn-
♡ i hc that he got into reading poetry/love stories (yes, twilight- he’s team edward) after his breakup and now he’s addicted but he probably tries to hide it from you until one rainy day, you’re not feeling to well but he can’t do much to help and he feels worthless- so he reads you poetry to try make you feel better :))
♡ omg yes he probably listens to the way you make fun of your friends and uses that to describe them, if yk what i mean..
♡ so like, for example, if one of your friends is really short and you playfully call them tiny or goblin over a call and he overhears, if you ever mention that friend in future conversations, expect him to be like ‘eh? i don’t know who you are talking about- wait! do you mean your friend gremlin-chan?’ and you’ll fkn wheeze and make him promise never to say that again pfft
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
'my star sign is aries sun with leo moon and pisces venus, so i’m an emotional hopeless romantic. in terms of love languages, i tend to feel love and show my love through quality time and physical touch (despite the fact that i’m usually repulsed by touching people and being touched), so i’d be a sucker for just cuddling in silence or doing my own thing in my s/o’s presence.’
♡ oikawa is a cancer so y’all are both charming, happy on the outside and sad bitches ready to explode on the inside so together, y’all are an unstoppable force
♡ also, i think oikawa’s love languages are quality time and words of affirmation - he shows that he cares by constantly making time for you, putting you above anything else on his schedule and as for words of affirmation, he just likes it when you compliment him on his sets 🥰
♡ but there is really a little bit of everything with him tbh; he likes to get you expensive, over-the-top, grand gifts for special occasions - like that one time he bought you a pandora ring for you birthday (after only being with you for a few months) and also sometimes he brings you random plushies bc he saw it in a shop window and ‘reminded him of you’ - so that could be considered gift-giving as apart of his love language
♡ he always does the dishes after you are done cooking but other than that, he doesn’t do many acts of service
♡ as for physical touch, whenever he sees you cooking/looking like a deity in general, he sneaks up behind you, slips his arms around your waist, rests his chin on your shoulder and either talk to you or hum along to the song playing in the background
♡ despite that, he respects the fact you don’t like being touched so he won’t touch you all too often if you don’t want him to, so he usually let’s you initiate the cuddling
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
for @triniteaaa: ok so when i first read your req then you mentioned how you like to dance while you cook i immediately thought of iwaizumi but then i read your story mode req and at first i was proud of myself i am a psychic apparently but then i realised that i said i wouldn’t give ppl their self-ship for their matchup so i was a bit stuck as to who to pair you up with but then upon reading over your req once more, i realised there were two possible candidates: oikawa or akaashi. bc your love for poetry and how one of your love languages is quality time made me think of akaashi but everything else about you just screams ‘oikawa’s soulmate’-
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I really love your ideas haha! Have drunk konoha 11 + sasuke been requested yet? If not I'd love to read that
thank you!! I feel like it has been but I can’t find it and have no desire to go digging for it so I’m gonna do it again
Naruto
Gets all red when he drinks at all, let alone when he’s actually drunk. It’s so cute.
He’s also one of those people who thinks he is even more invincible than usual when drunk. He’s off trying to challenge a sober Rock Lee to insane physical challenges if no one stops him.
Talks a biiiig game shooting his shot and is super affectionate when drunk, but would chicken out if someone actually wanted to hook up.
Occasionally tears up about friendship. Super embarrassing. Super cliche.
Sakura
Is soooo aggressive lmao she’s so fucking mean I love it. The only people who can match this level of rude are Neji and Sasuke. If the three ever banded together (which they won’t, because Neji and Sasuke would fight), their target would be done for.
Desperately wants to arm wrestle.
Loves taking drunk showers. It’s just a fun time for her.
Gets kind of annoyed when people get weepy with her. She’s drunk to have fun, not to cry. If she wanted to get drunk and cry, she’d do it in her own home, by herself, as god intended.
Sasuke
Is such a wanderer. Every now and then team 8 will have to go track him down because he’s basically playing hide and seek without telling anyone.
Always tries to smoke a cigarette when he’s drunk. Always coughs super embarrassingly and painfully.
Again, Sasuke is sooo mean lmao he just sits there, wine glass in hand, critiquing everyone aloud! Drunk Sasuke immediately senses the thing you are sensitive about and comments on it.
Let Ino pierce his ear once when they were all drunk. Actually kind of liked it, but he eventually took it out because it got infected and he didn’t know how to take care of it (and was too embarrassed to ask).
Kiba
Horny drunk for sure. Unlike Naruto, he’s down to hook up with whoever happens to returning his affections that night. Claims they actually fuck, but usually they just sloppy, ugly make out and then Kiba falls asleep and is ditched.
If he drinks enough, Kiba is convinced he can communicate telepathically with Akamaru. No one can really disprove him.
Frickin loves to booty-pop to anything. My mans drops it low.
Gets angry when people try to make him drink water. He’s literally like this vid of the dude spitting his drink at his friend like one of those bath toys.
Hinata
Level 1 Drunk consists of her getting even quieter and even redder than usual. She’s embarrassed to be drunk and thinks she’s being judged. Kiba and Shino know this, so they get her to Level 2 Drunk, which is when she’s too fucked up to care and can finally let loose a little.
She’s kind of a wild card when she’s drunk enough to do abnormal things. Sometimes she confesses her weird secrets (such as definitely training herself to love ramen, even though her baseline is just that it’s ok, but a little salty); sometimes she gets uncomfortably deep; sometimes she just sits there with her Byakugan activated.
Legit will sit with her eyes clothes, in her own world, swaying to music that may or may not be playing.
Throws up often, but quietly and without drawing attention.
Shino
Hates being drunk in big groups. He really won’t do it unless he’s at home or somewhere safe with Hinata and Kiba. Otherwise he gets all weird and twitchy.
Shino is the kind of drunk who is very, very good at hiding the fact that he’s fucked up. Like, he’ll go all night with his team and the next day Kiba will bring up something Shino said and he’ll have zero recollection of that happening.
Lowkey is a huge savage when he’s drunk. He voices all of those mean inner thoughts that he definitely (and, tbh, rightfully) has.
Spills everywhere!! Mess!
Shikamaru
Has a strong preference for whiskey. He drinks it on the rocks, and has always done this. It’s what his mom drinks, so he just copied her because it looked cool and now he has a taste for it.
He’s relaxed enough to drop the totally disinterested facade. This sounds like an oxymoron, but he’s just comfortable enough to show that he gives a damn about whatever he’s talking about.
I say whatever he’s talking about because drunk Shikamaru dominates conversations. Kiba, who never really inspected him closely enough to recognize he has brain cells, was genuinely surprised that Shikamaru knew so many words the first time they were drunk together.
Doesn’t like to get deep when he’s drunk unless he’s with his team or with an s/o.
Ino
Ugh little lush. I love her. And Ino loves to be drunk.
I think she likes white wine the best and chooses to stick to it once she gets old enough to decide hard liquor just is not it for her.
Ino thinks she’s the funniest person in the world when she’s drunk. She will frequently ask, “Why don’t we have a show, you guys?”
She can also just flip a switch and go total mom friend, though. If someone seems to not be doing so well, she can suddenly function at a much higher level. Ino is always the one to notice if Hinata needs to have a nice little vomit.
Choji
Gets sooo giggly. It’s adorable. He’s just happy to be here, coach, and happy to be drinking with his friends.
He’s kind of a lightweight for his size lmao. Also, baby boy loves the fruity drinks. He’s very confident in himself and his masculinity; why would he drink something that tastes bad to prove something to Shikamaru, who was born liking straight whiskey? No, thanks.
Drunk Choji agrees with Ino in that they should absolutely have a tv show. They’re obviously comedy gold.
Volunteers waaaay too much information. He’s just…so, so honest…as soon as a drop of alcohol enters his system. That’s why all of the Konoha kids know how long he is a virgin; he informs them monthly on the status.
Neji
The third and final true savage of the pack. He’s a straight-up animal. Remember the chunin exams? Thirteen-year-old, sober, angry Neji came up with all of that very accurate and somewhat hurtful shit. Drunk, jaded, older Neji can come up with much worse, especially because he’s gotten some more humor injected in there as well. It’s horribly accurate and then everyone will laugh at what he said.
Picks fights with Sasuke sometimes. He’s just so fucking annoying, man. If Neji can be normal in mixed company, so can he, god damn it.
Gets really, really competitive. Sometimes he’ll take Naruto up on challenges on behalf of Lee.
Neji only eats junk food when he’s drunk. It is always a night of indulgence, meaning he doesn’t do it super often. Tenten usually has to bully him into joining her (and then she has to bully Lee).
Tenten
Just bodies shots like it’s nothing. She takes shots of the nastiest shit and her face doesn’t change. She started out like that in her quest to emulate Tsunade, then she just got a taste for it.
Usually tries to do damage control with the dumbass “challenges” Naruto gets up to with her teammates. Sometimes, though, she’ll just join in herself to prove she can beat them all. And she can.
Sings her fucking heart out. Take her to a karaoke bar. Please.
Suuuuper supportive. If someone gets in their feelings too much, she’s there to help them out and bring the mood back up. She’s here for a good time!
Rock Lee
Rarely, rarely drinks. His body is a temple, for one thing. And for another thing, he can’t finish a whole drink and everyone roasts the shit out of him.
Genuinely tries to hold back with the drunken fist stuff, but Naruto won’t stop challenging him! He turns into an agent of chaos.
Has written so, so many apology letters to different establishments and friends for destroying property. They are often tearstained and so sincere that he has never been asked to pay for damages.
Makes a lot of drunk impulse purchases. And if all the stores are closed, he’ll end up just picking flowers from yards as he walks by. He never goes home empty-handed.
#naruto#naruto headcanons#drunk headcanons#naruto uzumaki#sakura#sasuke#kiba#hinata#shino#shikamaru#ino#choji#neji#tenten#rock lee#konoha 11#konoha 12
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@sweetazuruvoid
I’m really not sure! Right now it’s not on my to-do-list but maybe one day
@naruto-hoemagines 👀 Tumblr is flattering me
@geld-sama
It’s very possible, but it really depends on how strong of a relationship he has with his sugar baby tbh, and if it’s going to affect his reputation
@imkarti
!!! Thank you!! Everyone is looking forward to a Part II I just don’t really have it all polished up in my personal notes, so I wouldn’t even know where to start with a Part II... like I said above though, maybe one day!
@coffeeandcoyotes
!!!! I SIMP SO MUCH FOR BNHA.... omg thank you <3
@datblobbyfish
ACE AND LAW ARE MY BABIES!!!!! I wanna post/write so much for them but like aghhhhh I just haven’t gotten around to posting personal stuff I’ve written for them.... please spam me though <3
@psychofishie
!!!!!! look upon your socks and now Kakashi would love to stain them with cum <3
@sufferthesea
thank you so much boo!!! ily too!!!!
@hikaru-mikazuki
You are so welcome!!! Tysm <3
I have a masterpost link you can find on desktop and if not, I reblogged my masterpost for the founders a while ago, so if you scroll down a little you can find it. You can also just search “Tobirama” or look through his tag
TRUE!!!
He would literally be humiliated for the rest of his life but good <3 he desrerves it
Oof.... do it kween...
Hmmm not really sure. He might be like “oh. okay” and just not bring it up ever in hopes his s/o gets the hint that he really doesn’t want kids... but once it does inevitably come up, there’s going to be a lot of arguments probably
Honestly I’ve been meaning to check that out I’m just lazy as hell ahh
!! GOOD!! He’s from My Hero <3
Yeahhh he probably wouldn’t. He’d have to REALLY love the s/o to feel a deep connection with a kid that’s not his. He won’t treat the kid like shit or anything, he’s just not really going to take on the role of ‘stepfather’ very well
thanks so much!! It looks like I’m staying for now. I just love writing so much. But times change so we’ll see how I feel in a few weeks <3
Honestly he would he’s a horn dog
Thank you!
I don’t think he likes the idea of abortion but he also really doesn’t want a kid so... if she’s the one who brings up abortion and they’ve had a good discussion about it, then yeah he’d probably say to go through with it
Honestly quite a few things from BoJack made me cry whew... everytime Bojack got emotional I kinda did too??
!!!! this gives me uwu <3 thank you <3
I do not!
He definitely isn’t actively wanting to be a father, but he’ll get used to the idea when it comes around. He’s more like.... 25/75 not wanting/but accepting lmao
I meannn he’s a pretty rough guy... it just really depends on how your personalities would fit together tbh :/
I can’t remember if I replied to this already but thanks so much !!!
I had to delete it because of the ban on porn stuff that Tumblr made a while back! It got flagged for inappropriate content ):
I haven’t! I really should though
akjshdkfajh honestly probably.. he seems like the type
You’re welcome!! I’m also very excited to write it. I’ll probably do Ace... my boy needs some love
Some possible respect that neither of them would ever openly acknowledge possibly, but definitely a feeling of
Hmmm I don’t think I’ve ever actually written that scenario?? I’m sorry!
asdhkfahksjf honestly your skin would be glowing
!! Well I know they would love their granddaughter, but Fugaku in particular is a big proponent of the “Uchiha first” ideals that Itachi really does not want his daughter growing up with, so there might be some issues with that in particular when it comes to how much the grandparents are involved in her life—BUT YES of course they do get to see her and do love her very much
!!! I’m honestly surprised there are so many Shisui hoes out there. I love that for him
NOT A BOTHER AT ALL AH!! THANKS SO MUCH <3
well I—I know Hashirama for sure would let you <3 the others, tbd
I DON’T REMEMBER WHICH HCS THESE WERE IN RESPONSE TO BUT!! YAY!
He’s so damn annoying like I wouldn’t be able to STAND his ass
it’s true... he’s in denial but we all know
LMLAO STOPPPP
Hmmm right now I’m really not sure. I know a lot of you guys want to see a part II, I just don’t know if I have the motivation... (but you’re welcome!)
you are welcome!!! it must be known!!
KAJSHDFKJASHF he would lose his SHIT
Hmmmm.. sometimes yeah he can be. It really depends on what his s/o likes
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im still rewatching gotham bc its a great distraction from studying and if 17 year-old me was right about anything its that its Fun
but also. what the Fuck were the writers thinking sometimes lmaooo im not even going to list it all because thats too much work, these r just some Thoughts
please dont ask why im watching it if this bothers me this much, i dont have a good explanation. its just Fun to watch fucked up people do fucked up shit i guess. nothing makes sense ever and theres soo much shit to dissect & so many characters to follow. yea that probably explains it
also this embarassing. i do not want to have these many thoughts about this show again.
1. police brutality as a ~quirky feature of this whacky city~. im Pretty sure that never really stops but im only halfway through s1 rn and its a Very big thing there. im not even going to talk about this much more because im not nearly close to being an expert on it & i dont have as much of a clear analysis of it, its just fucked up tbh how they treat such a major issue in real life like a fictional thing that makes their fake city more ~spicy~
2. the way they talk about/use mental health & neurodivergency
Fuck lmao this bothers me so much more now than 4 years ago. in general its a whole mess & a lot of it is probably based on comic stuff eg arkham, but they really portray anyone in there as a child huh. its So disrespectful and gross
at some point they basically only have villains from arkham, which i know is also at least somewhat comic-based but that doesnt rly make it better? great villainization of neurodivergent people guys (& why tf did they send oswald to arkham??? theres literally no reason for that one)
dont even let me get started on ed. LITERALLY Thee worst portrayal of neurodivergency/mental illness ive EVER seen lmaoo. in s1 hes soo autistic coded its almost funny if it wasnt 90% based on bad stereotypes, he literally checks All the boxes. and then he randomly gets the fake fictional shock value version of DID?? i feel like that was the only thing the writers could think of that made sense why he'd ever kill people lol and its a) So lazy and b) Extremely bad for how DID is seen by people. i dont know how DID works exactly so i cant say anything abt if the way it started/his switching was at least somewhat accurate, but its just this typical "evil dangerous neurodivergent dude cant control himself/is just evil to his core because his ~mind is fucked up~" and its so frustrating. Yes hes one of my favourite characters still. Yes i still relate to him way too much. Yes the way hes written is Extremely harmful. those things can all be true
3. queerbaiting. only developed a ship because it was popular with the fans, then make them fight each other for the rest of the show, then have them be ~brothers~ at the end when ratings drop. typical And annoying.
4. this is less of a Real World Issue and more bad storytelling but plot & character consistency are practically nonexistant in this show lmao. this has been run to the ground years ago but its still so weird. the main thing is again ed for me since he was my favourite, but they really changed his entire personality whenever it was practical for the "plot". i could barely recognise him in s3 until i got used to it lmao he was sooo different. u Could make an argument for the riddler vs the ed personality but again thats bad rehashing of harmful stereotypes & Also doesnt fix anything tbh. the only thing that was actually consistent (if im not forgetting sth) was oswald's character i think? he became less gross over time but that was all as far as i can remember. sneaky, manipulative, too emotional, loses everything because of either his mom or ed aka what he loves. he became less smart somehow after s1 which is weird but i guess s1 him would have taken over the country if they hadnt nerfed him. i honestly cant remember anyone else because last time after ca the middle of s2 i stopped paying attention to anything that wasnt ed or oswald but yea it was a whole mess
#gotham#whyyyyyy#i dont want to be thinking abt this#why does it take me so long to find sth to talk about for good shows but im endlessly entertained by bad ones.#i hate it.#god this show is a mess but its truly so easy to hyperfixate on#its perfect for distracting me from study anxiety
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new york’s very own madison ‘madi’ ko was spotted on broadway street in chanel sneakers . your resemblance to kim chungha is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-first birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being obsessive , but also ambitious . i guess being a virgo explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be glittery eyes, dangling earrings, & chanel draped in pearls. ( cisfemale & she/her) + ( kale, 20 , she/her , est. )
hi honeybuns !! im back and with child. there is a brief mention of an ed under the cut but i block it off with a tw start & end. if you’d like to plot pls leave a like and i can dm you or hit you up on discord !! my discord is kale#3079
BACKSTORY
haneul madison ko was born september 18, 1999 to two immigrant parents from S.K. her birth name is haneul, but she went by the name madison since it was easier to pronounce + madi began to almost detest her culture??
it was just that growing up she would sometimes get bullied for looking different at her school, for the way her packed lunches smelled/looked, the way people would stare if she spoke korean to her parents, how other kids would make fun of her english since she didn’t pick up on vocab/grammar as quickly since she didn’t practice at home with her parents. she just became SO insecure about it that she rejected her culture. she wouldn’t bring her mom’s food to school, if her mom ever forced her to take it she’d throw it away and choose to starve instead. she wouldn’t speak korean back to her parents in public, barely even in private (which reeaaallly upset her parents). this also REALLY destroyed her korean language skills. she can understand still, but she can barely hold a basic conversation anymore.
as she grew up, and continued this sense of distancing herself from her culture, she ultimately distanced herself from her family. which left her feeling - - alone often, even though it was all due to her own choices. in this loneliness, she found her escape in music. she would wear headphones constantly through the halls, in car rides, in her room when her parents yelled at her to turn the music down. she just loved music. she saved up the money her parents gave her whenever she worked at the nail salon (her parents owned it!!) to thrift an old keyboard. she became self-taught by trying to copy melodies of songs she’d listen to, thrifting piano lesson books, staying after school with the music teacher learning to play. sometimes she’d even skip lunch to sit in the chorus room with her choir director and play.
it’s not that she had a LACK of friends growing up, maybe just that she lacked a best friend. she had a lot of friends, but no one that she felt so connected to in the way she felt connected to music. perhaps, she was addicted to her loneliness.
she spent a lot of time playing the piano and dabbling in writing music that her grades started to fall (not that she was ever the BEST student) and her parents literally took away her piano. they said it was a waste of time because they wanted her to focus on doing well, so she could get into a good university, and then live a good life. music was just a distraction
but that didnt work
she would sneak out into the city to go to concerts and poetry readings. she’d sneak out and go to indie songwriters scenes while her parents thought she was at the library with one of her school friends
This underground scene had her full heart!! she was surrounded by likeminded people who just lived for music. she was hearing all of these incredible people who were all looking for their start. maybe not looking for anything at than just to sing their songs. tbh i think this was the point she was happiest. she was completely enveloped in music, just for the sake of music. There wasn’t any pressure, just music. Just the songs. she was wide eyed looking at this whole underground scene of artists. So maybe some plots from these underground charas?!
she’d perform some songs at karaoke nights and the indie sessions, and a producer took a keen interest in one of her songs. basically im kind of stealing halsey’s career start, but she posted a song Came in Close on SoundCloud and just blew up overnight. in the morning, she woke up to a record label asking her to fly to LA for a meeting.
and thus, Madison Ko began a career as Madi Ko where she’d release her debut album, Honey, a few months later. (DISCOGRAPHY HERE). her music is very 80s synth inspired!
new album that is most definitely CRJ’S EMOTION is coming soon...
PERSONALITY
right off the bat, madi is an absolute firecracker!! she’s loud, bursting with personality, has a lack of inhibitions that CHAOTICALLY mixes with her spontaneity
part of this is projecting her insecurities. she felt lonely as a child but doesn’t want to be seen as that to the world. it’s not so much a persona but an exaggeration of who she was.
she likes to show off her glam bc it, once again, hides her insecurities.
she just kind of is dramatic anymore
like everything about her
her persona as Madi Ko, upcoming popstar underdog, is like DUNKED in glitter, over the top stages and sets, draped in couture. basically her stages/outfits/dances/mvs are like Chungha’s but with Pale Waves and Carly Rae Jepsen VC. ex: 1, 2, 3, 4
also bc im obsessed with chungha’s famous diamond wink, IT’S GONNA BE MADI’S THING TOO. so basically madi has trended on twt a few times bc of her signature diamond wink bc she effing glues rhinestones and glitter under her eyes for performances !! she said fuck corneas !! ex: 1, 2, 3 ....god chungha is magical
so while madi is like a brand hypebeast n never shuts up, she can also get,,, easily annoyed. and heavily perceives ppl on first impressions despite that being the reason she felt misunderstood a lot growing up.
definitely argumentative!!! will blow up arguments for no reason n then later questions why she made it such a big deal but cant own up to her mistakes
when she decides she doesnt like you, SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU. it’s done. bridge is burned, she’s not keen on second chances
fame has definitely given her a bit of an ego problem --- she’s a bit more aggressive, self-obsessed while intrinsically insecure, is too busy flaunting her material possessions and trendy life that she can...lose touch of reality. basically most of her high school friends cant stand her. HC that her high school bf broke up with her bc she was no longer was the madison ko he knew!!! so if anyone wants to be that ex lmk !!! she’s written songs about them!!!
definitely the type of girl who is so hype at a party, dancing in fallen confetti, standing on the fireplace mantle, but then midway realizes she’s lonely. sad at a party.
ED TW STARTS!!!!!
....
she kind of always had body image issues growing up, but it was very off and on, but once she got signed and being by surrounded by cameras became normal she formed a full fledged ED. she’s passed out at concerts a few times bc of her ED, but they always brush it off as “not enough rest” or “she wasnt feeling well that day but pushed to perform anyway as to not disappoint the fans”
so feel free for ur muses to point it out !! she’ll get really defensive like “i eat i just work out a lot” and yeah it’s true she works out a lot but she...doesn’t really eat
it’s also one of the causes of her irritability ...
.....
END ED TW!!!!
idk why this is so long
always up for mischief!
does love a good prank. asks weird hypotheticals
is not scared of an ouija board
will get wasted off a few shots and drunk madi is UNSTOPPABLE
one time drunk madi cried bc her siamese cat (MOCHI !!!) wouldn’t ever get to go to school and would never know chemistry..... the dramatics.....
she is sensitive and despises it. she does everything she can to not come across as sensitive
however, she’s so obsessive. so deep in feeling. when she feels something she FEELS it. when she is mad it boils through her. when she is in love it is all she knows. when she is sad it covers her like sweaters and blankets on rainy days. she doesn’t know how to half-feel. everything she feels stops her in her tracks.
HOWEVER she’s the most obsessive with her own insecurities — so in relationships she’s kind of known for tapping out early. she just gets scared and the fleetingness of her career and that she’s at her very core, lonely and disappointed in herself, makes her want to run away thinking that letting down her walls and being vulnerable could only be disappointing for her SO. so maybe she ghosted ur chara or gave some lame excuse
Kind of obsessed with how she’s perceived
terrified that at any moment her career could be thrown away, her deemed irrelevant, and she goes back to being Madison Ko, daughter of nail techs in Koreatown. and then her parents would have been right all along, music was a waste of time.
she’s just my little fallen angel who flew to the sun (fame) and it constantly eats away at her girlhood, at her heart.
anyways this is all i got rn <3 come love me sorry i kind of didn’t shut up this is long
WANTED CONNECTIONS
an ex from before she was famous who broke up with her because of how she changed!! PLEASE i have ideas for this. plus,,, you get a lot of songs about ur chara!!! could be from high school, maybe someone in the music scene she frequented before she was signed, anything!!
anothr ex/fwb/undefined relationship i’d love is one when she was first famous who just introduced her to everything. something like a whirlwind that was exciting and magical. she’s written songs about this person.
exes in general.
hookups/fwb
romantic plots. pls i have songs who need meaning. friends to lovers, one sided (either way), slowburn, ANYTHING. love cruel summer plots, anything lover by tswift
PR relationships -- would LOVE one where she falls in love with the other despite how clearly defined they made their relationship
love triangles in general just get me going
best friend!!!! the one’s who know how the other feels just by looking at each other. they have countless sleepovers. tell each other everything. cry together on bathroom floors. pregame together.
ex friends. for whatever reason -- maybe madi did smth shitty, maybe they did. maybe there was backstabbing, maybe madi sacrificed friendship for a career, maybe she made moves on their romantic partner/interest despite being fully aware. idk. gimme
People she knew from the underground/indie scene before they were famous!! they’d have bonded over their love for music, little indie dreams kind of vibe. just imagine a group of dreamers !! Would love if they made some kind of pact!!!
party friends
collabs !!
pranks. mischief. gimme
enemies. gotta cook up some drama, yknow
GIRL GANG. god i just want this so bad like make a girls dream come true
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Here's a random question for you: I know you're a big (the biggest) proponent of Scanny, but if you had to pick someone else for Danny to have a relationship with, who would it be?
I actually have thought about this! Honestly, my go to after Scott for Danny is Mason, because the younger characters are literally only two years younger than the original characters even if it seemed otherwise a lot of the time. And so given that we never saw Danny and Mason interact due to the whole ‘oh sure, he totally graduated offscreen a year early just in time to not be around for the season that revolved entirely around his specific expertise aka hacking’ nonsense....I can easily imagine a few years in the future, Danny and Mason meet in college or grad school or somewhere they’re on even footing and learn they have mutual friends/experiences/knowledge in common and from there grow into a friendship and also maybe then they’re boyfriends and then husbands and then dads and then grandpas and happily ever after yada yada.
Meanwhile, if Danny encountered Liam at any age, I feel like he would just be like: “No.” And then wave his hand around in Liam’s direction in a circle like to encompass all of him, as he’s all. “All of this is just exhausting, whatever it is. I am too old and too tired to deal with this....vibe you’re emitting.”
LOL I can’t explain it, like Liam and Mason have entirely different energies and I feel that age isn’t even a factor as to why Danny would just not at all have patience for Liam. Like, I don’t think he’d DISLIKE him exactly, so much as just....’I’m going to be over here, and you’re going to stay over there, and I just think that’ll be best for everyone and we’ll all get along great that way.”
Hmm, who else. Controversial I guess, but I actually did kinda like Dethan, waaaay back at the very beginning of it, before that very same season crapped all over any real potential it or even the twins at all had in the show. Given that I’m fine with them and even like them in AUs or fics that diverge before they had anything to do with Boyd’s death, but if that’s at all in canon for a story, I have no interest in them as anything other than cannon fodder. Which let’s be real, you always kinda have a need for in TW stories.
But initially, I REALLY REALLY liked the fact that there was this (at the time) mysterious new character that was there for DANNY, like, deliberately seeking him out because of real or suspected significance....I was all for that, because I was like yes, excellent, clearly this means they have plans to focus more on Danny and bring him into the core group eventually and also obviously Danny’s gonna turn this guy away from the Dark Side and make him betray his pack of overcompensating losers for Danny and the power of LOVE because who doesn’t love that trope, am I right? Its all so clearly laid out!
Ahhh, to be that dumb again.
Anyway, so in AUs or early canon-divergent fics, I can be all for Danny and a better, more fleshed out and non-jackass depiction of Ethan. But by the time Ethan returns in actual canon, the fact that he’s with Jackson just irritates me in a ‘hooking up with your ex’s best friend is a jerk move and we get it, show, you don’t consider Danny important and never did, jfc’ kinda way. Beyond that though, I’m just like, Jackson can have him at that point, they deserve each other, go Team Jerkwad.
I don’t see Theo and Danny ever happening because I like to think that Danny’s view on scheming, ambitious and boundary-breaking friends with possible homicidal inclinations has changed since Jackson and Ethan’s presences in his life, and he’s like.....”Nah, I’m not doing that again. Two of that type are enough for me, and I’m kinda always gonna put up with Jackson at this point because...look, I had my reasons probably, just because I can’t remember the basis of our friendship now, like....just back off, okay?”
Just saying, I don’t think he’d inherently hate Theo if Theo’s story happens in an AU kinda way where he doesn’t murder and betray his way through the show’s social hierarchy, lol, but Danny would still just be like “Look, whatever your issues are dude, I’m not trying to judge you for them if you don’t make me, but like, go put in some you-time offstage and then maybe we can talk. I am not emotionally equipped to put up with the schemes of yet another person whose whole thing seems to be ‘am I good or bad, you decide, because I sure as hell can’t.’ I don’t care how big your biceps are, that is not going to be a deciding factor for me, not this time, no sir, I have learned from my mistakes, I have had hashtag Growth, and you need to go now, and also please put on a shirt. I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!”
Danny and Stiles is Lol That’s A No For Me, of course, Danny and Boyd I would be totally down for and can picture them being like, a snark queen power couple who hang back and watch all the drama unfold around them while providing entertaining commentary back and forth to each other but otherwise act like they’re not even there, and when someone annoyed by their running commentary finally snaps and goes “Why are you two even here?” like, I can so picture Danny and Boyd just blinking slowly and looking at them, then at each other, then back at them as if confused by the question.
“It’s Date Night,” Danny says slowly, in the tone reserved for being asked to solve the equation on the board that’s already got the answer written out right there.
“Okay, fine. But why are you HERE, then? If its your Date Night, like.....go have your date then. Catch a movie. Its all good, we don’t need you guys here at the moment.”
Boyd squints at them. “This IS our date. Whoppers?”
The latter is directed to Danny, as Boyd extends the box of candy towards him.
“Yes please,” Danny says, reaching for a handful.
Exasperated sighs are heard all around the room.
LOL anyway....who else....Jackson tends to be a no for me too, not for any real reason beyond like....I’ve read too many fics where they’re essentially treated as the Mirror Universe version of S/ciles, and you KNOW how I feel about that ship, so like, all even dubiously associated ships are by mere proxy also noped by me. *Shrugs*
Which mostly just leaves Isaac, and....idk, tbh. I’m not inherently opposed to them, and I’ve actually even read a couple of fairly long-ish and pretty enjoyable Danny/Isaac fics. But enjoyable in the sense of like....just as their own thing, a fun romance set in the TW setting/universe, between Danny and an Isaac-shaped woobiewolf. As the few Danny/Isaac fics I’ve found over the years tend to suffer from the exact same thing that’s always kept me from really ever getting into Scott and Isaac as a couple in anything other than theory...
Like, in the fics I’ve tried, I always tend to run into the same tendency to just....sand down all of Isaac’s rough edges and make him this shy, insecure, soft boy who is withdrawn until Danny or Scott bring him out of his shell....even when its based on the events of the show and Isaac’s already been turned into his leather jacket-wearing, snark-wielding, deliberately apathetic werewolfsona.
And that’s just...not Isaac to me? So if I treat him as an original character basically, I can enjoy those stories, and do, just because there’s sooooo little Danny-centric fic that awhile back, I absolutely spent a good year or so making sure like, I found every last scrap of it, lol. I went spelunking in some deep, dark places in search of even a little spotlight time for Danny, because He Deserved Better and I was willing to put up with a lot to see him get even a little (except for like, blatant and unavoidable Scott hate being front and center in the fic as well. Then I exited with rapidity. I love Danny, but not even for him can I stomach that).
But yeah, otherwise, I very very rarely found a lot of Isaac fics, no matter who he was paired with, where he wasn’t like....constantly soft and vulnerable and the focus of Scott or Danny or whomever else’s regular attempts to comfort and protect him. Which I mean, I love Isaac, and I’m always projecting onto abuse survivors in fiction even if just a little bit, so its not that I object to the comfort and desire to protect him parts, just the sheer unevenness that tends to be present in his dynamics as well. I’ve always said that for me, the true theme of TW was survivor empowerment, that all of these kids had been hurt and exploited and traumatized in various ways and they all struggled individually and together to find ways to cope and to heal, and also to feel empowered enough to protect THEMSELVES from whatever or whomever tried to hurt them again in the future.
And that’s the element that so often is missing from Isaac’s arc in fics, IMO...any hint of the character who he spent a lot of time and effort growing into on the show. Evolving first into a character who reveled in the power he’d been given and that made him feel safe and strong for the first time in his life, to the point where he was quite frankly an asshole a lot of the time.
But then from there he grew into a character who came to terms with the reality that as his own power grew, so did the power of the new tormentors he was now often in conflict with, due to the source of his newfound strength...and his strength and brutality and apathy were not at all the tools able to help him find true protection and recovery in his new world. They just weren’t going to get the job done, and that’s when he started to let Scott’s example sink in and take his lead from that, finding the power and strength in committing himself more to others, becoming more of an active participant rather than just a spectator or a henchman who needed orders before acting.....allowing himself to be vulnerable in exchange for the benefits being more open to others afforded him.
Isaac’s growth onscreen from season to season was the very thing that made him so interesting and enjoyable to me....as well as how his bond with Scott did the same thing....so when the former isn’t really present in fics, even the presence of the latter doesn’t really do a whole lot for me. And its the same thing in the Danny/Isaac fics I read, so yeah. There for it in theory, but the execution I’ve found has never done anything to make it any more compelling a ship possibility than any other random ship.
I think that’s pretty much everyone though? Well I mean like, there’s Corey, but I don’t have strong feelings about that possibility one way or another. And there’s Derek, given the whole ‘Miguel’ thing in S1, but you know me, even in future/aged-up settings, I still tend to be ‘what if Derek dated people his own damn age tho, like just for the sheer novelty, let’s explore that some more’.....not to mention that as the show progressed, the more fandom hated on Braeden and her relationship with Derek, the more I spite-shipped them. To the extent that now I find it hard to picture even AUs where they’re not endgame, or if Derek HAS to be in another ship for some reason, then they still were a super serious relationship before the fic and there’s always that hint of her being the one that got away, kinda.
*Shrugs* What can I say? The enemy ship of my enemy is my OTP. The Art of War, fandom style. I have no problem admitting it, lolol.
But yeah, that’s all of them I think now.
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sanjivani 12.08.19 lb
gratuitous mumbai shots. cut to idyllic camping scene somewhere in the hills.
dr. sid instantly established as fuckboi. can't remember what current female company's name is and is trying out all the First World Yoga Names (h/t @theincorrigiblemagpie)
there's something about namit's face that bothers me. it's a veryyyyy fuckboy type face. i just cannot trust it. hopefully the character will grow on me and i'll be able to get over it.
cute shenanigans turning to tragedy. sigh, already? we are literally only 1 minute and 7 seconds in.
LMAO WHAT???????? he didn't hear all the screaming, but saw the reflection of the kid drowning in her aviators instead????? HOW'S THAT EVEN POSSIBLE WHEN THEY'RE HIGH UP AND THE KID IS AT LEAST A 100 - 200 M LOWER???
"sorry babes. duty calls."
ofc. a true spiritual successor to armaan, this one.
oh ho ab bacha bhi lo. ainvayi suspense ke chakkar mein footage khaana.
standard uparwaale ka disdain by neechewaala doctor.
why won't he bloody identify himself as a doctor before taking out a swiss knife to slice into the kid?????
handy bottle of booze lying around for sterilization.
HE HAS HAD A SOLIDDDDDD FEW MINUTES DURING THESE SHENANIGANS TO TELL THESE PPL HE'S A DOCTOR AND NOT JUST A PSYCHOPATH HACKING INTO THE KIDS NECK AND SHOVING HIS GIRLFRIEND'S NECKLACE INTO IT, BUT NOPE.......
don't like his dialogue delivery. very stilted.
swelling music and slo-mo as he states his credo: JUGAAD!
"saab kahan le jaa rahe ho mere bachche ko?"
"jahaan logon ki jaan uparwaala nahi, neechewaala bachaata hai; jahaan har ek jaan keemti hai; SANJIVANI!!!"
lmaooooooooo i can't.
also lol, niceeeely got out of having to remember side-piece's name this way.
hey girl.
let's see how long this bright-eyed, bushy-tailed enthusiasm of yours lasts.......
ok the mom won't stop screaming and it's Too Much.
ok this guy's every other dialogue is like right out of those cheesyass motivational insta posts. i don't think i'll be able to watch this show if this is how it's written.
funky hanuman sculpture.
ok kuch zyaada ho raha hai.
ouffffffffff. first instance of contact itself a goddamn confrontation.
ladki chalti phirti diagnostic lab hai. and apparently carries around bars of chocolate in case of emergencies, like professor lupin.
haryanvi girl is talking too fast and i cannot catch 70% of what she's saying.
they seem to be strangers but are toooooo familiar with each other? who talks to someone they just met like this???
yeah, i don't think i can watch this show regularly. veryyyyy annoying writing. it’s really getting to me.
henloooooooooooo dr. shashank.
ohhhhhhh boy. looks like mohnish bahl has already written in his exit clause.
ominous music, Those Glasses, and the passive aggressiveness towards a man who's clearly not feeling well, tell us ki yeh insaan kaafi kameena hai.
"post chod raha hoon. sanjivani nahi. yahin rahoonga, aapke saath."
yeah let's see for how long........
oversmart jugaadu is reciting dr. shashank's speech from memory, while ishani toh looks like she might pass out from giddiness and admiration.
helllllllllllllo anjali! (the only character i'm really interested in tbh.)
"aaj toh koi operation scheduled nahi tha."
uhhhhhhh.... kinda hard to believe there'd be NO SURGERIES WHATSOEVER in a hugeass multi-speciality hospital like this on any given day? also, emergency cases like this can come up?
ouff overly emotional scene.
god, fuck this guy. i already hate him to bits. as an mba myself, i swear to god that mba types should never be put in charge of a hospital (or anything that’s a venture that values something else over bottom line.)
meanwhile dr. shashank is lecturing over here that they’ve kept sanjivani from being a commercialized business. lmao ok sir, pls look around this hospital of yours and tell me you actually believe this tripe you're spouting.
haan i was waiting for the chopper fees to come up. coz that shit was notttttttttt about to slide, as dr. fuckboy had hoped. woh toh kuch zyaada hi tha.
LMAO WHAT, THIS HOSPITAL IS RUN THANKS TO GOVT FUNDING AND DONATIONS?????????????? THIS HOSPITAL, THE SWANKIEST EVER??????? SURE.
also vardhan said this was a private hospital? oprahwhatisthetruth.gif
oh ho, sid has some well-known scam running, through which he funds these surgeries, but vardhan just can't seem to prove it. the slightest of respect for rebellious fuckboy.
this overwrought maaii is grating on my nerves. someone tell her to dial it down.
this one is just a little toooooooo confident with her intrusive questions.
ohhhhhhhhhhh boy. anjali had hoped to be chief of surgery. and is most likely not going to get it.
this creep needs to stay away from my girl.
not a fan of these gendered stethoscopes.
sure. how ALL of us gals hang out in hospital meeting rooms.
oh, happy birthday ishani.
mamaji has called to remind about not eating non-veg on poornima instead of wishing birthday though. and to remind to tell no one about her surname.
what's the whole deal with her surname though? so are we to take the arora as fake?
asha's the sapna of this show. very specific regional identity, bubbly, friendly supporting role. i already like her more than the leads (as was the case with sapna too. @ me but sapna and atul were most lovable!)
ok ishani is QUITE unlikable. itnaaaaaaa bhi hyper hone ki zaroorat nahi hai sis.
why was she just sauntering around, and just swooping into whatever case is in front of her? doesn't she have some kinda orientation or something to attend? aise hi khula chod diya hai in naye doctors ko?
also why did this first year resident have to come and take things over? why's that other doctor standing around clueless about the existence of hypothermia and how to treat it?????
lo ji. dr. awesome ne bacha hi liya. to the point the nurses are like waah waah, aap kitniiiiii sahi thi!
and this doctor who's her senior too.
oh god, wohi insta post waala gyaan yeh bhi pel rahi hai. ouff.
what this dude's name, anyway??? he’s more my type than dr. fuckboy.
oh so this is (part of??) his scam. selling unnecessary elective plastic surgery to women, playing on their insecurities. not misogynist atttttttttt all.
ouffffffff.
yeh kyaaaaaa faltoo aurat hai??????? she's super fucking annoying. it's literally your first hour in the place and you're already being such a damn pain in the ass to your SENIORS????? TO THE POINT WHERE YOU’RE PHYSICALLY ACCOSTING THEM???????
yeah i hate both of them.
———————————————————————
kal aur bhi ainvayi ka unpleasant khit-pit. i don't care.
oh shit dr. shashank has brain tumour. dr. juhi being called into service.
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