#but that's ok!! they can always be adjusted
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Personally, as someone who has mini shifted to these realities- and knows countless people that have shifted to a fewof these realities too, I only have to say: While its perfectly fine and GOOD to spread awareness about trauma, people don't remember that every person has different limits. I wonder; Why don't we say this about hogwart shifters? There's a freaking war going on in sixth year-seventh year? People die? What if you're friends with cedric? Or why do we only focus on those drs that are KNOWN as dangerous, but not the ones ppl don't usually know? I do agree in how it can be terrible but, let me bring an example. I have a friend who often shifts to JJK. She says, yes, it is not a nice experience to shift if you're unprepared. But, if you think you can handle it and are prepared: This reality is so worth it. The people and connections overcome anything. And yes! She has seen people die. A lot. She has exorcised curses. I myself happened to mini shift to the rumbling. And a thing I didn't mention in my post was how the smell of blood was also present. It doesn't haunt me, but it existed and I acknowledged it. It is incredibly sad some people truly get traumatised even back here (because, yeah you bring trauma back but, its genuinely relative from the person who shifts from OWN experience and FRIENDS experience.) after the things they have done or went through. But people with different moralities and different strengths can handle different things. While I am an aot shifter and a jjba shifter for example, I know bad things will happen but I also know I can handle them after what I've lived. It is NOT ok to shift to somewhere if you think you'll be genuinely hurt. The awareness spread by these posts is great! but please, lets focus on all kinds of drs--- and specially, those that are seen as less dangerous. Because mha and hp are as dangerous as aot and kny even if less shocking. Aot can be beautiful due to the people, specially with some script adjustments even if I'm a full canon shifter usually. So can KNY , so can jjba, so can jjk,and hell, so can a fame dr. Anything can be traumatic, but anything can be beautiful. Some people also go thereto heal their traumas related to what they've been through, so it makes sense they don't script out things. For example, I have a dr where my partner dies. And I've experienced that in this reality. And you'd say, I don't want to experience that shit again. But I need somewhere where I can mourn without being judged. And somewhere where I can be there for him in his last moments. That can be very taxing, but also healing. Not saying same thing about friends dying and shit, but, its always different for others and we need to remember that. I DO NOT condone literal kids going there though. No matter what they're not prepared. Nothing against OP since I think awareness is important and their trauma is valid and real. Im just using this post to share mi opinion
honestly shifting trauma is so overlooked its crazy
I agree. Like I know not a lot of shifters want to talk about how fucked shit can get but like it gets scary out there and I feel like it’s so irresponsible to pretend it’s all glitz and glamor.
Like genuinely I feel like a lot of people don’t understand just how real it is. Like obviously it’s as real as ours but it’s a really difficult thing to fully comprehend until you’ve actually done it. I worry so much for people shifting to places like Attack on Titan. Like are you prepared to see your friends get eaten alive in front of you. “Oh I knew that they were gonna die so I’ll be fine” these are real people you’re going to be in close proximity with you’re most likely going to get attached to in some capacity and even if you’re not it’s difficult to watch people die in front of you. And that goes for anywhere with any kind of violence. In Demon Slayer I almost threw up hearing and smelling demons, humans being devoured, etc. and it’s going to stick with me forever. I might not always think about it but when I do it fucks with me. The violence I’ve been forced to commit on other people because my life was on the line in most of my DRs fucks with me too.
I feel like we should talk about it more and we just don’t and it’s really upsetting cuz now I feel like I’m crazy for being so shaken about it, or being devastated by a friend’s death. Why should I feel weird for not being over the fact I was fucking strangled. Idk it just upset me that everyone wants to act like it’s got no flaws
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HIII OMG IDK IF UR TAKING REQUESTS (OR IF THIS COUNTS AS ONE??) BUT I CANT WAIT FOR ANY OF YOUR VI FICS 🙏 LIKE OK IM SAT 🪑 YOURE GONNA SLAY!!
sweet consumption ꒰ა♡໒꒱
goddess vi! x fem! reader
SYNOPSIS: honestly not really much of a plot besides vi and reader being in love and obsessed with each other.
WORD COUNT: 2.8k
CONTAINS: smut!, cannibalism as a form of expression, consensual choking, mentions of blood and slight violent actions, religious overtones. p.s I always try to keep clothing and reader’s physical descriptions out of my stories, so readers can resonate with it more. but for this story, reader wears a dress. kind of proofread ? act 3 vi!
AUTHORS NOTE: ^^ omg thank you so much love <3! you’re so sweet, that does mean sm! ! also if you guys want to listen to the audio I had playing to set the vibe I wanted (specifically the first 3mins), here it is <3 https://youtu.be/pdmLj1mkslA?si=XhaI2_E2Sm485mhN I was meaning to post this before act 3 but oh well.
∴.·:*¨¨*:·. ☙.·:*¨ ¨*:·.♡ .·:*¨ ¨*:·. ❧.¨*:·.∴
the soft piano traveled throughout the corridors as you sat toying with the edge of your silky, sage dress - eagerly waiting for your presence to be requested. the smooth, dark marble beneath your feet caught your attention. you swore it swirled in little patterns right before your eyes. the walls of her quarters were coated with various meaningful art pieces and the pillars stood tall where beautiful women were chiseled into the top and bottom. her love and respect for women —for her community, was so admirable. before your mind could wander farther, you were interrupted.
“our goddess, violet, requests you.” a fellow angel proclaims as they seep into your view.
'our goddess?' your mind repeats. It was true. she was a goddess of the people and of the angels. she portrayed that in the most genuine way. however, you still couldn't fight the slight nerve to be a bit possessive. you nodded and smiled to the woman dressed in a silky emerald gown, their wings slightly curled around their hips. taking a deep yet staggered breath, you walk down the corridor that lead to violet's chamber. soon enough, you stood before her arched door. It was vast and encased in fuschia and black jewels. gems and crystals in their purest form blended perfectly above, as gold curled around the edges of the large door frame. before you could even bring your fist up to grab at her door chime, it swings open gently. she sensed you.
It was dark in her chambers. your eyes waited to adjust to it as the fireplace was the only source of light. the soft gothic piano contrasted the crackling of the fireplace. this genre of piano soothed vi’s nerves. your eyes averted as slight movement was caught in your peripheral. and then...you are met with her. she stood right before her large windowsill - it portraying a perfect view of the nightlife that was her domain and the beautiful river encompassing it. she was beyond alluring, truly. words could not describe violet's beauty. for she was the prettiest and the strongest goddess there was. the handsomest soldier that would ever fight on the battle field.
her pinkish red hair peppered with streaks of black, like fire and ash, rested over her right side. her blue eyes like stained glass that always outed her every emotion never failed to capture you. her freckles kissed upon her nose and cheeks like a field of wildflowers in april. oh how cute she was when she scrunched her nose when upset or angry. violet was revered in her looks by the other celestial beings, but they doubted her ideals. violet. sweet violet. her heart so gentle but her face stern. she stood for peace—for equality. but she tended to get too passionate in protecting others and standing for what she believed in. the other goddess's teased her about her name. vi for violence. some pretty butch brute with too much power they'd say. she wished they'd respect her name. and how you wished they would know her. violet. sweet violet. vi.
“you're staring again. hmmm and nor did you acknowledge me when you came into my quarters." she pouts, inching closer to your still being. her hips swayed gently as she walked down the little steps, fists at her side. so ready to protect, like she always was. her beauty put you in a trance as your eyes adjust to the glow of her pale freckled skin.
"I'm sorry, my love. It's darker in here than usual." the words jumbled out nervously as the luminescence of her eyes consumed you.
she gently drug her fingertips against the apple of your cheeks. "mmm I am in a mood of sorts today. what do you have for me, beautiful?"
your words caught in your throat and your body shivered. angel's were only allowed to see their goddess' once a month to report to them. you were violet's trusted designated angel that gave her updates of information that she needed to rule her domain, so naturally you saw her a bit more often. the lack of her presence made your yearning beyond intense. the only angel and being that vi had ever touched and she made that clear constantly. but why were you so special? you doubt you'd ever ask. to even be breathing the same air as her was a blessing so you never dare question her.
"I brought all angel reports for last month as well as letters from the goddess's. they seem to have important news to share with you." you nodded, too nervous to glance into her eyes. she loved how nervous she made you.
"so obedient, my sweet girl. I will have to get to it all later." she curls her fingers under your chin. "come.”
she steps away from you to sit on her velvet claudette chaise lounge. she gazes at you intently - waiting. her eyes were warning you as she was often impatient. you walk towards her gently on the tip of your toes. you could never seem to get used to her intensity. she just stares at you often. it's a bit creepy, but you know she is just curious and expressive. reading vi through her eyes was easy for you. she was intrigued.
you kneeled before her as her leg peers out from the slit in her grey throw over dress. she nudges it out to you gently as invitation for you to touch her. as they open, it exposes a delicious amount of her skin that you wanted to just devour. slowly, you bring your hands to glide up her leg. her soft skin feels electric and you swear every muscle in your body relaxed after you touched her. closing your eyes, you nudge your cheek into her skin. you locked eyes as you kiss up her leg, lifting yourself to make your pecks to the inside of her thigh. the feeling of her smooth creamy skin was enticing, the smell of her. vanilla, musk, firewood —brown sugar. the way she was lent back, looking down at you with her legs spread wide was so seductive and sensuous. her arm hung over the couch and the other gently grazed your hair as you nipped at her inner thigh. she had stretch marks on her hips and a bit on her inner thigh. you kissed at them gently. the soft chuckle she let out made your ears ring. goodness. she made you weak.
your breathing got heavier as you inched closer between her dress and to her core. your fingers snake through and move it aside. no underwear. looking up at her, she slightly smiles and blushes. "I was waiting for you — I always do." she breathes out like a whisper.
your cheeks turn a fiery shade of pink. you were then blessed with the sight of her beautiful flower. the heat and scent of her core was close to sending you into a frenzy. tufts of pink hair and puffy lips. you were addicted to her. to her taste. your mouth started to salivate. she bit at her lip and opened her legs wide as if inviting you to enjoy her delicacy. your arms curled around her thick thighs as you grip the soft skin. you press your lips to her clit and suckle. like sweet butter, she melts in your mouth. the sweet but salty taste of her made your toes curl. she was glowing. she threw her head back and her hair flowed over the soft velvet couch. gentle wisps of her hair danced over her lips from her desperate panting. she lets out a gentle moan and entangled her fingers writhin your hair. the feeling of her pussy tangled around your tongue was enough to send you into psychosis. you dug your face into her gently as you could not seem to get close enough. curling and twisting your tongue around her, she panted and whimpered little praises.
her moans increasingly got louder. she was always so vocal. and to say you loved it was an understatement. soft as a harp, her moans flowed through your ears like a gentle river. like a song that soothed your soul. shoving your face into her cunt, your mission was to devour. the feeling of her on your tongue — on your finger tips. her moans, her voice. you were made for her, to please her. to give her the love that she deserved as your goddess. she was under appreciated. you are so deep in thought you failed to realize how tight your grip had become on her shaking thighs. she was overstimulated, yelping and arching her back. she attempted to gently move you. pulling away from her gasp, you muster out, “my goddess. please forgive me. I got carried away. I-“
gripping your cheeks softly, she shoved you back on your knees. her face followed yours closely. "oh how i missed you." she growled.
hearts swam in your eyes. drool and her sweet slick coated your lips and the area surrounding. you look dumbed out. her body was a drug. she was your drug. sweet violet. without the hold she had on your face, you'd fall. she licked at your throat as her calloused fingertips drug your dress down your body. she softly grazed her tongue over the edge of her teeth. she gripped your hips and drug her hands all over your body. the need she had for you was insatiable. untamed, disgusting, and full of teeth. she would kill and stain her hands with blood of the innocent for you. and that was a lot to put down as a goddess for her people. but the way she needed you was vile. the yearn she had for you made her sick. sick and rotted with desire. need. you. a mere angel. nothing compared to her. oh but you were.
her lips captured yours quickly. immediately her tongue swallows yours. her lips were succulent like ripe grapes. to kiss vi was to be refreshed, replenished. revived. crawling down to your level, on the floor, she kneeled with you. not once did she slow her pace and stop the movement of her lips on yours. a kiss was the beginning to her cannabilism. she was kneeling with you. someone as gorgeous and high being as her sat on the dirty floor tangled in front of you. your saliva mixing and tainting her own. she didn't care. your differences didn't make her ill. she was a goddess who could love who she pleased, but she could tell this made you uneasy.
"my love. the floor." you pulled away from the kiss, gently cupping her flushed freckled cheeks. her eyes shone such a radiant blue. she was content.
"I am not above sitting on a dirty floor. I've been in worse. and for you — I would lick the filth from your skin with the blade of my tongue." she whispered, licking the shell of your ear. her cool breath sent shivers down your spine and your heart sunk.
both of her hands held your cheeks, as she curled her tongue over your lips. she pecks them gently and then again, glides her tongue over the plump of your lips. your mouth slightly parted with the pressure and need for her mouth on yours. before you could give into her kiss, she pulls away swiftly. nodding her head in the direction of her sleeping quarters. "on the bed."
you sway your naked body away from her, making your way to her giant canopy. sitting on the edge of the bed, you softly grip her black silky sheets. vi sashays towards the edge where you were and pushes you softly into the middle. standing tall, she drops her dress off of her shoulder. all you could do was stare at her awe. her biceps tensed slightly with her breathing. her subtle abs shone in the light covered in minimal sweat. her tits sat perfectly and exposed. her collar bone, sharp and tempting. her pussy on display and so enticing. again. you could happily die between her legs. everything she did had your pussy melting and pulsating. she crawls towards you and kisses up your body slowly. not breaking eye contact once. she drags her canines against your calf and presses gently, making her way up to your lips.
she’s perfectly above you now, stopping at your face. your eyes are captured in hers and you can’t look away. you smacked your lips onto hers and she burst into a giggle as you peck her lips over and over. pulling away, you let her catch her breath and rub your fingers against her face. you press a kiss to her forehead, her nose, the apple of her cheeks, her eyelids, chin, and then her lips again. then you kiss her hands again, and again, and again. she didn’t like her hands. you knew that. but every sliver of her was perfect to you. she presses her forehead to yours as she gnaws at her lip.
"I want to feel you. to let go with you.”
before you can process a single thought, she eagerly parts your legs wide and squats herself above your cunt. you can feel everything. like her soul and her bones were intertwining with yours. her pussy slid against yours. gripping your legs, she quickens her pace. every touch of her hands on your skin sent your body into shivers. you craved her. you wanted vi to use her calisoused fingers to pry your ribs open and lick your heart and your bones. to live inside of you to protect herself. to connect your organs and become one. to be loved by vi was to be consumed by her. you’re snatched back into reality at the loud sounds of the both of your moans blending together like symphony. she gripped at you like she could not live without her claws and bare teeth sunken into your skin. you chant her name like a prayer, her eyes rolling into her head as all she can think about is you. the sound of you. your skin. your flesh. you. she attempted to cage you in so you couldn't move away from her.
"oh baby i know." she groans into your ear as you whimper closer to your release.
the primal desire for you was unquenchable. she can feel you pulsating against her, she knew you were close. so was she. her right hand tangles around your throat as she begins to squeeze. your eyes rolled so far into your head and all circulation began to cut off. and by the goddess's near, this was the most amazing feeling. to die by violet’s hands. the way she is touching you and staring into your soul. it wasn’t pain. it felt like freedom.
"you belong to me, say it. please." her eyes turn soft and tear up. they were like a gentle void, a void of so much emotion. your vision started to turn white and you could only feel her engulfing you. your orgasms overtaking the both of you like wildfire. you could feel the electricity from her fingertips coursing through your veins and your blood. she loosens her grip as you gasp for air. every touch of hers on your body like a cold breeze. the beautiful pit that was her eyes enveloped you. you both stare at each other in a pant.
"we are all yours, vi." you giggle, referring to the angels and her terrain. gently, she collapses on your chest. you graze your fingers against her back, tracing her tattoos.
she hums, "mmm but they are not." she looks up at you, curling your hair between her fingers. "you are. and for you, i am my rawest form. the yearn I have for you is too much. It hurts." she pauses, and takes a deep breath. "I hate when you walk out that door."
her eyes are entangled in yours. the other celestial’s would say that the love between an angel and a goddess was unruly and dangerous. that didn't matter to you. nor did it matter to vi. they don't know what it was like to kneel at her alter. to be loved and wanted by her. they have not heard her gentle giggles and murmurs throughout every kiss. they haven’t seen her wide set grin and the smile lines surrounding her heart shaped lips. nor have they tasted her divine fruit. they haven't gazed into her eyes and seen right through her heart. to be loved by vi was to be consumed by her.
“my love and loyalty has always lied with you, my sweet violet.” and into her lips, you collide. underneath the fiery touch of vi’s fingertips, you become poetry.
AUTHORS NOTE: ugh yes…cannibalism as symbolism for lesbian love and obsession again>>> of course, it’s literally my favorite and if you get it, you get it :3 anyways, caitvi scene made me scream as hell. everything made me scream and cry omfg. so many thoughts. If you’re reading this, have a great day, night or evening! mwuahhh <33 hope you liked !
#vi arcane#arcane vi#arcane#vi x fem reader#vi x reader#vi smut#vi x you#arcane season 2#vi x reader smut#caitvi
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First of all thank you SO MUCH for being a safe space to be critical of the new arcane season. I wanted to love it. I really really did. But there’s just too much I can’t look past. It’s nice to have a blog I can scroll through where everyone is in a similar boat.
The more I think about it the more I take issue with the concept behind episode 7. Don’t get me wrong from a stand-alone perspective it’s the best episode in the new season and had my favorite moments. But the more I think about the more it feels…icky. I’m absolutely not opposed to seeing a well adjusted Powder I love Jinx and her tragedy is the hardest hitting part of the show for me. That said, season 1 gave me the impression that powder was always going to grow up “bad” due to the circumstances she was born into.
Even from the beginning, we see she experiences psychosis, and likely other unnamed mental conditions (I resonate most with the idea of her having bpd.) OBLIGATORY mental illness OBVIOUSLY does not make you a bad person—I deal with a lot of them myself—but Powder was growing up in a situation where the world was against her. She was in a triggering environment that exacerbated her mental health issues. In my opinion, Powder’s tragedy was about how the situation she was born into took a vulnerable young girl, chewed her up, and spit her out as a “monster.”
Then we get episode 7 where… everything is ok?? Don’t get me started on the peace between zaun and piltover its ridiculous and that’s all been said. The scenes on the bridge especially irk me WHY are people so freely traveling between the two cities what happened to the classism WHERE IS THE SOCIOECONOMIC INEQUALITY??
To return to Powder, I get what they were going for. I do. I personally have OCD that only flares up when my mental health is bad and is mostly unnoticeable otherwise. I get that one episode isn’t much time to explore things, but I take issue that after LOSING HER SISTER powder would just? Be okay??? Well adjusted?? Maybe I’m biased. One of my favorite things about Jinx are her struggles with mental health—it hits close to home. It hurts to see Arcane mostly drop that in the second season. Does au!Powder have psychosis episodes? Does she ever hallucinate Vi? What about her abandonment issues? It feels so cheap to me to say actually if Powder had never accidentally blown up her family she would have been completely healthy and fine actually—her path to becoming Jinx always always had a societal problem at the root of it.
And maybe you’ll say well powder has a better support system so of course she’s doing fine and I can almost accept that… except for the apparent peace between piltover and zaun?? ARCANE WHERE IS THE SOCIOECONOMIC INEQUALITY YOU CANNOT TELL ME YOU FORGOT? She’s not facing the same kind of discrimination and hardship that main universe Jinx experienced and that made her story so compelling. Now again, one episode isn’t much to explore and perhaps she has issues bubbling under the surface, but it feels strange to completely drop that part of her character in favor of everyone is happy and fine and alive (except vi fuck you vi).
Tldr; Jinx’s story stood out to me as a tragedy about how a bad environment can exacerbate already present mental health issues. She was ALWAYS doomed—she did not have the kind of support and care she needed. Jinx’s problem was never that ooooooog trauma (and silco’s parenting) made her evil. Jinx’s problem is that the world simply doesn’t give a fuck about her and throws her to the wolves. You can remove the trauma from the Powder, but you can’t ever forget that she’s living on the underside of Piltover’s boot.
I can see what they were going for with well-adjusted powder and don’t get me wrong I LOVED her she was so cute. But in combination with some of the other uhhh decisions this season made it just feels like a cop out. Her issues with mental health are nonexistent and yay piltover doesn’t hate poor people anymore, isnt that great? If I could change even one thing I’d give her a little psychosis episode in the scene where Ekko questions her about VI’s death—tying her back to Jinx and causing Ekko to break down the boundaries even more between his mental schema of Powder vs Jinx.
Also don’t even get me started on how I��ve seen some people in the fandom respond. I’ve already seen “awwww ekko should’ve gotten to keep sane!jinx” which. HELLO???
Np~ I am glad to share people's thoughts with the world!! It's nice to read similar thoughts and opinions to your own.
Yeah T.T I enjoyed the p so much, but it was still riddled with the same issues that plagued the rest of the season. The largest is definitely the fact that none of the kids had proper childhoods because the system they live under doesn't allow them peace. You are so right on Powder's episodes - when Ekko started pressuring her and she told him to get out before she does something she'll regret, I legit thought we were about to witness one. She had the body language and the tone of someone who IS about to go off, but then she... Just didn't... Add to that the unrealistic economic situation, which I've already ranted about, and you remove the two unshakeable factors which contributed to Jinx' downfall. Once again the writers are forgetting that the characters didn't start having issues in s1e1, but were suffering long before the show started.
The point of the episode is sort of Dynasties and Dystopia 2: Electric Boogaloo, in that it's dedicated to Ekko's mental separation between Powder and Jinx breaking down. But where in the first instance the breaking came from a really organic place - him realizing mid-battle she remembers their childhood friendship as well as he does - this time it's much simpler. Like. Of COURSE he would start caring for her again if he met her under the most perfect circumstances, where loving her is super duper easy. Letting Powder exhibit her "Jinx"ish tendencies more often would have been a much more interesting situation. I did appreciate the ones she'd had - creating a Vi doll, treating her like she's still alive - but it could have gone even further imo.
As for those saying he should have gotten to keep her as Powder... No what. The point of the episode was that the Powder he'd met made him miss the Jinx he'd known. He wasn't tempted to stay in the perfect world (akhem Heimerdinger akhem) because none of those people could understand him. It's the reason he trusted Vi despite her suspicious return to the Undercity - he can't help but feel connected to those who went through the same trauma he had back then. And that's my fav aspect of why he still cares about Jinx - for the longest time, the two of them were the only survivors of THEIR Undercity. She chose Silco, but she was still the only one who could understand his pain, even across enemy lines. I missed this in s2, too. He said he'd given up on the Undercity becoming a better place, which is bs, he absolutely never did. The only thing he'd given up was her!! SO the speech really should have been about that, and the alienation he'd felt.
In short, I don't really think the episode should have had a "perfect" AU to show Ekko a lesson. It would have been much more interesting to keep it realistic. But oh well, I suppose that's just the chorus of s2
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How do you make your colors look so lively?
Do you use layer effects?
Pls tell us how you color and your process and if you use layer effects to do so
for colouring i usually fuck it and ball it really. eye colour pick the shit out of my works. too lazy to download an actual ref just to pick the colours because my pc is Dying. but when it comes to making the colours fit the ambiance i have two (three..?) ways on how i do it personally
if it's a piece with a clear picture of the background — like this one for example — i would try to match the base colours with the background so the colours will look more natural and give the feeling that the characters *are* there in the art
some people would usually start out with using the "multiply" effect and that's okay! but i'm a sai 2.0 user so i kicked it up a bit by using "Shade" it gives off a more depth effect with the colours you're working with rather than "multiply". for the colours itself i match it based on the ambiance that the background is giving. it doesn't necessarily have to be the exact colour from the background where you eye drop the colours — making slight adjustments to it to make it fit your preferences more is ok too!
now it looks more like toya and kohane are in an afternoon set (: i added some shadows and depth to this piece soon, which i choose the opposing colour for to make them look more natural
they're really just shading so i won't explain it too much, and that's really it honestly! i don't use a lot because sometimes too much can ruin pieces ^^"
however there's a second scenario where my art just .. doesn't have any backgrounds. this trick is the trick i use the most because my post contains 90% doodles 😭 there's two ways on how i do it
the first one
and the second one
that's really it! but again just have fun with colours that suits you, it doesn't always have to be text book learning. fuck around and find out dude
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Ok please be nice I wrote a silly thing based on this post of mine - a Just Like Heaven AU where Tommy is haunting Buck. This idea tickled me so I threw this together real quick. Not really edited or anything it's just for funsies.
Buck is buzzing with adrenaline, high off another successful rescue as he weaves the engine through traffic. He’s so focused on getting to his destination and the thrill of the whole thing that for a second he completely forgets about his recent problem.
“In quite a hurry there, Buckley-”
“FUCK!” Buck startles, adjusting the wheel so he doesn’t run the engine off the road. He sneaks a look, and yes, there’s Tommy, looking unimpressed in the seat next to him, “Look man, can you just- just this once, go to- wherever it is you go when you’re not with me?”
“I don’t know where I go when I’m not with you,” Tommy replies sullenly, “I just sort of… stop.”
“Well, that’s depressing,” Buck mutters, flicking his eyes to his phone again and making a turn, following the map on his screen, “I just need like- ten, fifteen minutes of alone time, okay? This isn’t the kind of thing you take a dead guy to.”
“I’m not dead,” Tommy snaps.
“Oh yeah, you’re super alive,” Buck reaches out with the arm closest to Tommy, watching it effortlessly pass through his shoulder, and wiggles it a little for emphasis. Tommy rolls his eyes dramatically, leaning forward to squint at Buck’s phone.
“A hookup app, Evan? Really?”
Buck flushes a little under Tommy’s stare.
“This worth risking your whole career for?”
Buck falters a little, this seemed like such a good idea two minutes ago, “I’ll be back before they even know I’m gone.”
Tommy scoffs, “You know what I would do to be out doing the job now? And you go and do this.”
Buck smacks the side of the steering wheel with the flat of his palm, “Well maybe I’m under stress! Maybe I recently started a really intense job and, oh yeah, started seeing a fucking ghost every time I turn around! Maybe I want a little closeness.”
“I’m not letting you do this, Evan.”
Buck makes another turn, closing in on the dot on the map, “And how exactly are you gonna stop me?” he asks, stomach doing something funny at the idea of possibly hooking up in front of Tommy.
Only he doesn’t expect Tommy to take a comically large deep breath and then start singing at the top of his lungs.
“What- ar- stop that! Is that- are you singing Britney Spears?”
In between breaths Tommy rushes out, “-Enjoy it Buckley, I’m doing Barbie Girl next- OH BABY BABY I SHOULDN’T HAVE LET YOU GO-”
Buck swears as he pulls up next to the BMW at the lights and leans out of the window, trying to maintain a flirty attitude. She’s cute, and he can definitely see them having a good time together, if they could get a little privacy. Tommy’s visits were always short-lived, and he clearly doesn’t control when he pops in and out of Buck’s orbit. He’ll disappear soon-
“SHOW ME HOW YOU WANT IT TO BE-”
- right?
“Hi,” he smiles, “Groovyheels297?”
“Why are you yelling?” she looks him up and down skeptically.
“MY LONELINESS IS KILLIN’ ME-“
“I’m not- ah, I’m not yelling, sorry,” he says apologetically, and then subtly turns and hisses over his shoulder, “Hey can you just stop-”
“Yeah, no offence dude but I don’t think so.” Groovyheels says, putting her foot down and driving off.
Tommy leans forward and watches her go, nodding approvingly, “She’s a smart girl, you were acting kind of suspicious.”
Buck presses his face into the steering wheel and groans, banging his head gently until a horn from behind him urges him on.
“Back to the station then?” Tommy suggests dryly.
#911 abc#bucktommy#911 fic#911 ficlet#my writing#cherry writes#please be nice lol#idk if i will do more
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Even if I haven't been very active lately, 9 years is still pretty significant- happy birthday to the blog!
So like Percy up there I'm gonna do so dome reflecting. This blog's where I've often done that for some reason, but here's the tl'dr for blog related stuff.
• I would like to keep drawing stuff but feeling generally unsure in myself, and I'm wondering if all the years of fandom harrassment have caught up with me • I have one big project in mind, I've been dipping my toe into what I'd need to do it. No spoilers but it was one of the first things I played around with this series, so do with that what you will • If I can keep myself drawing, I want to use more of the original source material since I'm struggling with original ideas. So stuff like redraws, hOpEfULlY even animatics, just like what originally got me so into trains yknow? Because that's fun and sparks joy. And that always goes down a treat with you guys so bonus • As always I appreciate you guys not coming after me for being so inconsistent
The rest of this is me doing what Percy's doing in the drawing and reflecting, as there is indeed much 2 think about. It's also a little sad and venty so, there's your warning there.
.
Ok so obviously a busy year, we moved into our new house that we actually own, I spent most of the year planning our wedding, and then got married. Big stuff. Also! I came off antidepressants in the summer. I've been on them for...basically as long as this blog, 6 months after I started it I think. Which also means I'd been on antidepressants my entire adult life. Feels like a big deal and I guess I'm still adjusting.
Another big thing, but sad, is that my dog died about two weeks ago. If you follow me on twitter you'll have seen her but she did make an appearance here a few Halloweens ago
I got her when she was 13 and had her 8 years after that. So that's been difficult. Unrelated to that (probably), but I just feel...really mediocre. And before you point out the obvious, this has been present even before I came off antidepressants. But yeah just... mediocrity. In myself as a person, how I look, what I draw, my whole life really (barring my marriage thankfully). What have I achieved? I'm 26, I'm not working, I don't feel well, my art isn't good (I don't think so anyway- like yeah it's technically fine I guess but it's not, and has never been, very stand-out or impressive). And lately art doesn't bring me the same joy it once did, and I'm wondering if all the years of harrassment from this fandom (mostly the twitter side, tumblr's been pretty good to me) has finally caught up with me and put me off the whole thing. Or worse, that I just don't have as much of an interest in it anymore. I don't think I'll ever be like "ok yep I'm officially done with this blog" because I'm so stubborn but idk. I want to make things and be creative, I want to make more train art, but it doesn't feel the same. I don't know what's wrong. What do you listen to? What you want vs what you feel? I still enjoy train stuff, I love going to Awdry Ex every year. It's been like this for awhile. It's not even like I have a strong feeling of what I'd rather be doing as far as careers go. And even if I did, oh yeah I'm sure my two degrees in animation will be very relevant in another field (sarcasm). I feel adrift. My sails are open but there is just no wind. Planning my wedding gave me something to do and work on and just, feel useful but now that that's over I feel lost again. Losing my dog, who had become the center of my life because of how vulnerable she had become, hasn't helped.
On the more creative side of things, I also don't really know what to do with this blog's story either. The show's ended as far as most people are concerned, and I kiiinda wrote myself into a corner because once Thomas turns 18 he's going to leave for university, and that sets off this whole arc with James but basically the problem is it involves characters leaving and for some reason that feels like a no-no here. Don't get me started on the timeline lol. But Thomas works on a railway on Sodor, that's how it has to be...right? I guess I'm sort of at a crossroads of, ok do I want this to be close to the source material, and thus easily digestible to newcombers? Or do I want to make it more and more my thing and distanced from the source material? I doubt there's many new people coming since the series ended. And even then, there's a lot more humanization artists around now than when I started, so it's not like I'm filling a niche anymore. Just to be clear it's fine and also good that there's more humanization artists, variety is good, I just don't feel as "needed" anymore (which is 100% in my head and not an actual role that belongs to me or something). I started this blog when I was 17, so my interests and what I relate to have changed obviously. The character designs certainly have. It's never followed a super rigid story plan, but the core of it has always been the central cast doing things on Sodor. I however have always had a scene/project/animatic/whatEver in mind for when this 'series' would '''officially''' ''''end''''. But then what comes after that? I've always tried to run this blog like they are Real People that You interact with. But in real life there is no ending to the story, there's always more stuff to come. You get married, and it's wonderful, and then life goes on. The credits never roll. So maybe that's what I'm having trouble coping with...the progression of time. Ah, my old nemesis. I've always had trouble with letting go of things. There's nothing to say that I couldn't still draw stuff after the series "ends". I guess any story after Thomas leaves could be like... a sequel series or a spin off or something. Spin-off of a spin-off. Famous 8 All Grown Up. Famous 8 Qurter Life Crisis. Who knows. I certainly don't.
I've also been really into an original project unrelated to this but those don't get as much attention and while I'd like to do something with it one day, I don't feel very confident in being able to make that happen right now. But you know... as far my as art not being super spectacular goes... I think my individual talent has always been is my ideas, like the writing side of things. And then brought to life with my art, which normally isn't anything to write home about but is good enough to convey the idea and be not-awful to look at, lifts both of them beyond what they were individually. Maybe that's what I should focus on. Maybe that's wishful thinking.
So....idk. Idk what I'm doing but I'm trying to be gentle on myself and just let myself continue to drift, to heal from this heavy loss, and then in the New Year I'll try and pick myself up. Then there will be no more big once-in-a-lifetime events coming up, no more just-moved-into-a-house-and-oh-no-there's-a-bunch-of-things-that-need-attention-NOW scenarios, and no more big holidays for awhile. I guess we'll see.
If you read all of this I am so sorry but also thank you for reading my ramblings. And thank you for being around, whether that's been for a few months or for several years, but especially if it's been several years
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''Come in Evan, sit at my feet. Now, I wanted to talk to you about the wedding.
It will be a gynarchy style wedding, as you know. You will take solemn vows to serve, obey and worship my daughter, as your wife. You will need to give me, at some point in the next month, all your bank, investment, saving, mortgage and income details in order that they can all be transferred to Rachel's name. Any questions, honey?''
''Do I have any access to money at all mommy?''
''You will have to ask Rachel, she will decide.
What happened in my marriage is that David had a small allowance, which was monitored by me, plus a debit card for food shopping which had limited access to two or three named shops.
It worked perfectly fine for us.''
''Why do I need to give you this information and not Rachel., mommy?''
''Well, she asked me to deal with this, as she is so busy. I will, of course, give her all the info, dear. Don't worry. Any questions?''
''Where will we live and where will we be going on our honeymoon, please? Rachel hasn't told me any of that.''
''You need to ask Rachel.''
''But Rachel doesn't allow me to ask questions, it is so annoying.''
''If Rachel doesn't allow you to ask questions then you don't need to know these things.
Look, honey, Rachel will probably be going to Bali with William, OK?
I shouldn't tell you if she hasn't. but that is what she has been saying. You will stay here with me and learn all the household skills you will need.
As to where you will live, I guess it will be the same place you live now.
She says she can't see why that would change.
When she gets back from her honeymoon you will move into the basement of her six bedroom mansion.
I think William has made some adjustments to make you more comfortable down there. He is so sweet.''
''Oh, I see. So I am not going on honeymoon with my new wife?
Why has she bothered to marry me and not William?''
''Honey, don't get upset, Rachel loves you so much.
She has always dreamed of a sissy slave husband, like they have in Hollywood.
William is just a close friend, she wouldn't marry him, now why would she? He is such a loser, hasn't got a job. sleeps in his mother's spare room, and has a beat up old car.
You are her true love, honey.''
''Yes mommy.''
#fully clothed denial#serve women#beautiful women#female supermacy#pussy free#female led relationship
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Hiya, if it's okay, can I ask how you decided to price your commissions? I'm planning to set up a page but I am SO lost as to how to price goddamn anything and you seem like you've got this stuff really well sorted out
also holy shit GREAT WORK ON THE DEMON GATES!!!!
Sure thing!! Since art is my full time thing right now, I try to price commissions by considering how much time they take to complete, and compare that to a typical wage.
Using my prices as an example, for a single character full color piece with no background, I know I can probably get it done in 3 hours of total work time or less. If I want to make at least ~$15/hr, then $45 total is a fair estimate.
Of course, this specific example won't work for every artist, since everyone has a different workflow. (I tend to work pretty fast.) There's more to consider of course, but this is a good starting point.
Also THANK YOUUUU <333333
#other artists feel free to chime in with your ideas too!!!!#don't undersell yourself!! a good anecdote i've heard is that if you set your prices too low; people might think it's unprofessional/a scam.#it can be tricky to set prices that feel fair both to yourself and the customer. tbh i'm still not 100% sure about mine#but that's ok!! they can always be adjusted#consistency is key when starting out. find a good middle ground and stay there for a while to get a feel for it.#hope that helps!!!!!#asks
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Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)
#lay rambles#my ocs#oc: liam hawke#oc: lilian hawke#both my hawkes are very social w their friends but i love comparing their boundaries around it#theres variation in rules for specific ppl with both of them ofc but theres still general differences#with liam its all very open and everyone can p much come and go whenever#they dont get extra keys (theyll get lost and he doesnt want randos finding them lol) but they know where to find the spare key#and bodhan and sandal and orana know to let them in whenever#hes very lenient in this this regard but he does have rules abt what he does and doesnt want them to do#mostly its about not making too much of a mess lol bc liam prefers to clean himself#(he doesnt trust the crew with his household and also he has particular ways of doing things and Hates when theyre done differently)#so things like keep your dirty garb at the entrance dont cook by yourselves (this was banned after they did it one (1) time lol) etc#also no fucking allowed. do that somewhere else for the love of the maker he does NOT want to walk into that in his own house#(and it also comes back to liam not trusting them with cleaning but also Not wanting to clean that up lol)#also he is not fond of them going into his room uninvited. most of the house is chill but that is *his* space#he accommodates these rules by e.g. having spare slippers and a little washing basin in the entrance hall for dirty shoes/feet#always makes sure to have snacks in stock that he knows they like#food will have notes abt what to leave for leandra/orana/etc but otherwise food is prepared with his friends in mind#and in general he'll make sure to adjust the space/routine in little ways to accommodate them#(air out when fen isnt there cus he doesnt like drafts; keep curtains open cus anders prefers open spaces; etc)#lilian on the other hand doesnt like when her friends come into the estate without a heads up (cept for emergencies)#but once they have her 'ok' its basically mi casa es su casa#dont yknow. overdo it and get too rowdy but otherwise do whatever#however. she also expects everyone to clean up after themselves. she aint here to play maid and youre all adults#also liam has a general 'please try to not be too wild when leandra is here' and lilian doesnt#not cos she doesnt care but cos leandra is bothered by sth she can speak up herself#oh and lilian uses the basement space as temporary refuge for anyone who needs it (mostly escaped mages)#also side note: both offered gamlen to stay but he refused (out of pride/remorse)#...this got long and i ran out of tag space lmfao so this is it for now xD
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zesty lowkey just another way for str8 ppl to say faggot / faggy and get away with it
#and im sick of letting them#cus why my lil nephew not even ten yet saying that and 'acting 'zesty' ' with his friends#i hate sounding like a boomer like i value the upside of technology#but u give humans / ANYONE rlly a chance to relax and a lot will turn it into laziness / neglect just because they can#like it's good to spread awareness but it's maybe likeeee. Not a good thing to spread statements/stereotypes with no further explanation#and peddle it to CHILDREN#whose comprehensions skills are. surprise. that of a CHILD'S#i say this ironically. btw#'oh im so mature for my age' no bro ure an immature HUMAN whos being forced to immaturely consider urself mature#due to the nature of ur relationships and homelife (or more-so the lack/negatives of them)#like it's ok to be a little stupid#as long as u keep trying to improve instead of just sitting in fault#or acting like they dont exist#anyways this got off topic but ya. crazy#kids have been killing each other n crazy shit like that but lately the crazy murder stories have HEAVILY leaned into#a misunderstanding of materialism#instead of just 'i wonder what it feels like' it's 'she took my ipad & also i wonder what it feels like'#like the first was already scary enough & now we've got this shit???#empathy is going thru a downside and we need to adjust the scales back!!!#im not gonna act like this is some new never seen b4 onset of fear impacting a generation after mine#bcs it's not never seen before in LIFE.. it's just never been seen b4 in UR life. which can feel like LIFE LIFE bcs like. uve only got one#that u may be cognizant of or etc religion aspect insert here. the point is. history repeats itself. but the points of history#can vary in visibility. some events get more notice than others bcs history's voice is ppl & actions & sometimes that gets erased#this isnt some bastardization point of one generation. but it IS a flaw that can show up in any gen (usually the oncoming ones)#bcs changes can be comfort & discomfort & the one u'd usually consider negative isnt always#anyways what im trying to say is. we need empathy back up period. always. we need empathy#lack of it is concerning. end of argument
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being a grown up w inferiority complex over a hobby nobody gafs about is so so so so utterly ridiculous. and yet.
#sawry i know ive been so whiny lately ):#accepting that i need longer than two weeks to adjust to this move and being a bit sick as well has been. harder than it should be 😭#thats all fine really like it genuinely doesnt matter if i never publish anything again but what i haaaate#is that yucky feeling im getting just from like. reading fics even. its so stupid and i havent felt anything like this in YEARS#obviously ill get over it but it makes me sad bc i havent felt so welcome/well received in a fandom space and so comfortable sharing my work#in a long time and i dont want to lose that over stupid ass RSD bullshit 😭#anyway its ok we move as always#i just need to use my blog like a diary so i can jettison the feelings and be normal hwcusnxlen
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I need to stop having one weird reaction with someone and then letting the anxiety decide in my head that the friendship is doomed because I ruined it like it's my absolute worst trait and I just have to move past it but it's hard
#i have to operate under the assumption that if people have an issue they will tell me but unfortunately this isnt true .#and it has happened to me in the past that i thought everything was ok because people were giving signals i wasnt picking up on#due to the autism so now im paranoid and constantly looking for signs i did something wrong and people are mad#and then i find them where they arent there which perversely does more to ruin a friendship than almost anything else#like the constant Are you mad at me... so i try to force myself not to do that and just#try to again assume that people arent however. im so worried about being blindsided Also of course i naturally dont want to make people#upset so if i am doing something wrong i want to change my behavior. however the fact its nuanced like#where you have to only do that a little bit and then take people at their word most of the time#fucking sucks like you actually are required in relationships to read peoples unspoken signals but you cant do that Too much#and if you misinterpet them its bad... but you cant ask for feedback too much because thats bad too. IT DOES MY HEAD IN actually like#it makes it so hard for me to interact with people because im just worried All of the time . and i have to be constantly like#ok check the facts and adjust behavior. check the facts and adjust behavior. make sure the facts are facts and not jumping to conclusions.#ok how do i do that . ok when do i ask directly. also people dont always tell the truth when you Do ask directly .#and then this is why my whole life i have mostly kept to myself and im trying to stop doing that but its hard because talking to others is a#puzzle for me that stresses me out more than anything else. man this sucksssssss can i just BE NORMAL!!!!!!#i know like Everyone has this problem its a common issue with relationships Communication but it feels especislly difficult for me .i#like cant fathom how other people manage very large numbers of friendships like even being able to count my close friends#on one hand i feel like im barely managing everything and im letting everyone down constantly but again i think thatsnonly my perception/#worry and not even true. god
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skzies are SO sweet to each other 🥺
#how they’re always joking around but never in a mean tone like anything can get turned into a joke but they check w others if it’s still ok#to joke around w something. and the way they ended up sharing the eel through games but still played until everyone got a piece#was so sweet when chan offered half his piece to lino and lino was like no no on a serious note it’s ok 😌 and he did the sweeeetiest smile#how in was pissed OFF at not winning like kind of for real and seungmin went like okok innie relax it’s ok#and how they make sure lix gets the least lines to memorise even though he’s not the one driving was so 🥺 like it’s such a sign of knowing#each other so well that they do these things without rly asking like#just naturally adjusting to everyone around them ouhhhh i LOVE friendship and humans. so much
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#minor health rant ok i'm sorry it's just. i've been debilitatingly ill on and off for this entire last year and it hasn't once let up#and i've had to deal with uni and grades and assignments and adjusting to living on my own for the first time#all while having an autoimmune disease that went undiagnosed for the first six months i was at uni.#and i've only just started to process how difficult this last year really was bc when i was in the thick of it#i just told myself i had to keep going. i had to get through it. and i DID i got through this entire year#and i did my exams and my labs and my assignments and i joined a sports club and a choir#and i balanced all of these things whilst i was actively iron deficient and malnourished and recovering from pneumonia#not to mention the literal Chronic Fatigue and Malnutrition Disease i didn't even know i HAD#AND YET. AND. YET. my family has turned this into a joke#i'm not even allowed to be that upset about it. they still expect great things from me bc that is who i am that is who i have ALWAYS been#and i don't know who i am anymore!! i don't know what i can do!! i spent ten months so sick i could barely function and i still DID IT.#it's no good telling me they're proud of how resilient i am!!! i don't want to have to be resilient i want to be WELL#i don't want to be told how strong i am i want the simple comfort of being allowed to REST#i don't know how many more times i have to remind them that i have an actual CHRONIC INCURABLE DISEASE before they listen to me#ANYWAY. complaining over lolol i'm sure i'll be fine!! haha#it's not like i'm ever NOT fine lmaoo#ok everyone back to scheduled posting. realness over !!#🙏🙏
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Ok tiktok just found out Alfred isn’t just the super sweet butler dad and like yeah but now it’s just absolving Bruce of everything again and I just think if the comic fans read comics everything would be okay
#No bc I’m thinking about that post again#you ppl tag everything dc comics#and like half of my issues would be resolved if y’all just came out and said ‘I don’t read comics’ and tagged ur shit ‘Batman fandom’#like I said fandom is fun sometimes and all but seeing ppl who haven’t read shit discuss why Alfred is actually evil now and Bruce is a#manipulated child is so#like alfred is a soldier he’s been through shit this makes sense for him lmao#not that it’s good or whatever but ppl like ‘maybe alfred was the classist all along’ PLEASE#like ok Alfred put the memorial up Bruce still threw Dick through it#maybe. nobody is well adjusted? and the tragedy is about the continuation of cycles and how love is always there even when it doesn’t seem#like it?#how love isn’t enough but it’s everything and maybe everything won’t satisfy you until it does and then you have to do everything you can to#keep it which is what makes love not enough#maybe it’s not a slice of life with crime fighting on the side
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every time i look up the tag of gojo satoru - i want to scream at the mischaracterization the poor man's going through 💀
#gojo satoru#ok so lots of ppl like to make him a playboy with a god complex and call it a day#meanwhile canon gojo satoru is like an overworked retail manager who had way too much expectations placed on him as a child#and a chronic overachiever#is he blessed with those skills? absolutely#is he fucking unhinged as a result of them? yes. i think so.#but like i take one look at him#and while he has 'adjusted' in a way where he CAN create bonds#i think the man seriously suffers through intimacy issues#like especially in his job where people DIE all the time#and in his personal life where his BEST FRIEND had horrendous results after death aka getting posessed by fucking kenjaku#like. yeah. no. i don't think he's the type to easily let people in much less let them have the opportunity to sink their hooks in#at least not for long#because he DOES love A LOT despite it all#but imo he only loves from a distance#always from a distance#so seeing what people project onto him with his mischaracterization is so interesting#i wonder if it's intentional writing as a whole because gojo's whole thing as “the strongest” doesn't actually mean jack shit.#it's just a title people have used to project onto him#so to fall for that projection#i feel like is both a boon and hinderance from gojo's side. always at a distance#i wonder if he lets people believe that in order to protect himself ultimately.#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu gojo#overall the man's just trying to catch up on the happiness of his childhood the best way he can tbh and i think that's admirable#for a job as traumatic as that.
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