#but that's not really what i'm feeling like doing atm

[punkranger]

i have so many ideas that i wanna draw but most of them require panels and while i've gotten more used to that i kinda just wanna work on one piece and have it done without any need for follow-up or repetition...

[lunarharp]

figured i'd do this again..bit early i guess..

[sophiethewitch1]

kinda wanna write a fic where the dog is literally the deus ex machina

[chucapybara]

have a low fever rn and all i can think about is feixiao. breeding actually. oughrhjtj

[reploidbuddy]

TIL writer’s burnout is a thing and I recognize myself in the symptoms ;-;

[thegreenhordes]

The loud sounds of more and more Growlers set a fire in Null's head, the aching turns to throbbing as he leans down and rubs his temple hard with the side of his leg. There's too many, the sounds too loud. With the number of Ponies he knows are encamped within the Friendship Castle he is certain most of these Growlers are wanderers from elsewhere. Unfortunate souls who thought traveling would keep them safe. Now they smell him, hear his pained groaning, and they are so very, very hungry.

He hears the voice of a stranger, the sound less odd on his ears than that of the ghostly apparitions that have thus far haunted him. Null forces his head up, vision swimming as he locks eyes with a monster.

Null: There... There's

The throbbing in his skull nearly sends him to the ground. The barrier wavers.

Null: A Watcher... If I try the usual methods... They mean nothing if that- THING- can see me.

It stares at him, menacing and dripping blood from its maw. Sclera stained black and irises a green so bright it hurts to look at. The mouth, affixed in what looks much like a grin, widens as its lips twitch. Another voice reaches his ears as the Infected Pony stalks forward.

Null: Not Enough... My- Nngh- 'Talents' won't defend me in any real way. Not here. My skills are... let's call them forensic based. If it isn't dead already, or- or something small like a- rabbit, flower, anything fragile, my magic either doesn't work or it causes negligible damage.

He rubs his head again, harder this time and with the points of his cloven hoof.

Null: I- I'm sweating, so the Growlers can smell me... The. . . W-Watcher. . . Sees me... And I- I-

Suddenly his world tilts and he thuds to the ground. The pain reaches a crescendo and the barrier cracks through. For the moment it stays standing. But it is oh so fragile. Null: I'm seeing double...

[Fear not, this is too early for the end. Strain your ears, hear what comes.]

[polaroidcats]

I just want to crawl into bed and hide underneath my duvet for like a month but I have to go be a functioning caregiver in like half an hour, I have no idea how people do this full time when it's already breaking me to be a part time caregiver

[curioscurio]

Most of my sinus infection has cleared up besides the occasional cough and irritated throat but now this ear infection.... everything hurts can I please have a break before I have to go back to work just a day without pain so I can clean up my sicknest without feeling like ass

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.

It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.

It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.

When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.

Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.

I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.

[loumauve]

the goddamn toast water post just made me utter "history is fucking real" in the most solemn and serious tone of voice, out loud, to myself, in the goddamn bathtub

[girlscience]

I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women 😭😭😭

[mariemariemaria]

i feel kinda crazy bc whenever i was a teenager i created this sorta imaginary older big sister who had moved out of the house so in my head i could live w her whenever i wanted bc she had survived it all and was independent and she would also just comfort me in a big sisterly way whenever something bad or upsetting happened and recently ive been going back to that at my big age 😭 and its kinda sad and also just wish fulfillment and also kinda scary bc i really used to think that by my age i'd have everything sorted but i really don't and i know that's normal and nobodies twenties are perfect but some people also have good relationships w their fathers which is crazy just to think about sooo

[shinmiyovvi]

Welp.... Guess I'm already fucked next month

[revenantghost]

Take care Rev!! I'm sorry you're going Through It right now. I hope your kitty recovers quickly and you're able to catch a break. I'm sure if you need to be a little more sparse for this week's bookclub folks will understand- you've put a lot of effort into this as is afterall!

;^; Thank you <3 Honestly feeling so crappy and wondering what the point is with people just being hateful and spreading negativity making me want to backpedal hard out of Trigun--which is the first time I've felt this way here! Normally I can mentally give people being this way the finger and move on, but especially seeing some mutuals ganging up and seeing some more private stuff going down, all while very real things on top of even my poor cat are bearing down on me... I'm just so tired. So thank you for sending this <3 We'll see if/when I get back to bookclub myself, I guess

[hauntedbythenarrative]

.

[non-un-topo]

Went to a support group specifically for FTMs last night and had a good time. Surprised myself by tearing up. That's not a very cis sign, is it