#but that's maybe a more popular opinion so it doesn't belong on this post

[taxidermycanine]

Hey not sure if this is the right place to ask this but I'm looking for whoever might be able to offer advice. My wife just told me she's therian today (wolf). I'm completely supportive of it of course. As another wolf therian, do you have any suggestions for things I could do to help her feel more comfortable or support her better?

(Anon ask to protect her privacy because she's self conscious about it)

hi! this is absolutely the right place to ask, welcome :o)

this is very sweet of you to do, and i'm sure your wife appreciates you looking more into therianthropy so you can understand her better!

i hope you enjoy this post, and thank you again for this ask! the tips are under the cut

species affirming 101: wolves and other canids

hello there! struggling to figure out ways to affirm your therianthropy because you don't know where to start? or maybe you're someone who knows a critter personally and want to learn how to make them more comfortable around you? then sit down and get comfortable because this is species affirming 101 (with me, the dog).

before we go into it, please note:

not all of these things are for everyone, and that's okay! do what feels right for you.

i will try my best to provide alternatives for any food recommendations for those of you with dietary needs, but apologize in advance if i fail to do so.

that the most important thing to affirm your species is through taking good care of yourself and spending some time outside to ground yourself. sometimes these things take time, they'll come to you eventually.

with that in mind, let's begin with the first tip!

NUMBER ONE: clothing

whether you have shorter or longer fur, this point can help you either way! the human body doesn't grow nearly enough hair to feel comfortable sometimes, which is why i wear clothes that are fuzzy, warm, and the same color as my fur. this is especially helpful in the colder months.

as for the warmer months, i recommend purchasing things such as tail keychains, trimming your nails into claws, drawing paws on your shoes. even meditating in a wooded area can help somewhat (at least in my own experience).

NUMBER TWO: snacks

usually when people think of species affirming snacks their mind immediately goes to something like jerky, and whilst that can help a few folk, in my opinion it's much too gritty for me to enjoy comfortably. i prefer eating slim jims for the saltiness and fall-apart texture. if you can't eat meat for whatever reason, i recommend experimenting with different types of mushrooms. a popular choice for meat imitation is the lions mane mushroom. when cooked a certain way, it's crunchy, filling and has a tender texture.

NUMBER THREE: ambiance

something as simple as putting on a video of nature sounds can make you feel more at home. i recommend mixing this with den making (making your bed feel more like a den by adding lots of blankets, going under them to sleep for coverage, maybe a chair or two to keep the entrance visable. i find having some sort of floor mattress works best for this sort of thing)

NUMBER FOUR: comforts

stuffed animals of your theriotype are always a nice way to feel less lonely, especially if you feel like you're meant to have young. acting like they're your pack, your litter, or simply just your belongings can provide heavy comfort during times of feeling isolated.

if you feel like you shouldn't have stuffed animals because you aren't a domestic breed, you shouldn't worry about that. One, you can do whatever you want forerver. Two, there have been many cases of animals finding things like stuffed animals and playing with them, look at this guy!

NUMBER FIVE: socializing

as canines are social animals, it's important for you to spend time with others, therian or non-therian. if you have human friends, or a human partner, great! if they're comfortable with it, you can have them pet you if you'd like. maybe ask to go on a walk with them for a more discreet option.

i'd also recommend making friends who are also therian so you have others to relate to. it's important to realize that you are not alone in this, and there are so many who feel the way you do right now. if you make some irl, go to the forest together! play in the river! if you're stuck to being online friends for however long, make moodboards! play online games where you can be an animal together! roleplay if that's more your speed! there's plenty to do with loved ones.

for now, that's all i can think of. for the anon though here's a little more just for you, i wish you and your partner the best.

be there for her, tell her that her being a therian doesn't make you love her any less and that you find her therianthropy beautiful. ask her about what she'd like you to do to help with species dysphoria, if she has any. research about her theriotype with her to show her that you care about it. as another wolf therian myself, the thing that helped me the most is having my own partner be there for me. canines are social animals, be social with her.

my love to you both,

bandit

[visceral-viscera]

not to poke my head in where it doesn't belong but. i have very little context for the current RW drama- but yall really need to stop acting like everyone who likes the same thing as you is your best friend. and that ALL different opinions are something to be actively shunned and shamed. ive seen like 3 posts that all boil down to "fandom bad it ruins the game for me im gonna leave" and people getting the weirdest anon hate, and its so confusing to me. Block the people who are weird (in your opinion,) and try not to make everyone in the fandom your bestie.

Note: never join a fandom discord expecting to make a bunch of live long friends. they almost always end up this way. if you are in a room with people who literally just have the same POPULAR game in common, there's gonna be people you dislike. and people who do bad shit.

And for the love of god- this is more general- take words like "zoo," "proship," "groomer" ect out of your mouth and just say what exactly they actually did/support. trying to figure out what the hell yall are talking about whenever this stuff comes up is impossible, because some people think its "proship" to write a fic where the adult characters are mean to each other, people think ALL anthro nsfw is zoophilia (including??? literally just adults doing it in suits?? you can think its weird but if it isnt hurting any real animals please just block and move on.), and that a 19 year old dating a 17 year old is grooming. (NOT examples i saw in the tag but ones ive heard in other places).

don't take this shit so seriously. the internet is full of creeps. yes even your favorite game that used to be niche back in the day. dont write "call out" posts. dont REBLOG callout posts. its so fucking easy to just change your identity online, all it does is spread fear and confusion and infighting. if someone you like is interacting with someone you know is a POS, just send them an ask or PM. and respect if they choose to continue interacting! maybe block them if they do! if you HAVE to let the wider fandom know- please just put factual info. do not buff it out with random shit or god forbid fabricated shit. put the info out there, clearly, without inflammatory/reactionary language, and trust that people who care will block as needed.

free yourself from the chains of "the fandom is mean/bad." start ignoring people. stop giving a shit what other people think. do not send anon hate. be free. god bless.

[hcfiles]

"Agree. Evidence she showed none. But, maybe there was no time. After the statement that impressed and called attention to the page, someone else could have assumed her place before shutting the page down."

How can someone else have assumed her place? I'm sorry girl but that's a big reach. The Account is gone but if the Woman was real why didnt she make a new account and post EVIDENCE as soon as possible? Was she ever "seen" again on any platform? No she wasn't and there was never a picture or any evidence. I'm trying to stay calm and be nice to you because you have a right to your thoughts but dont you think these thoughts go a bit too far? How many celebrities have to deal with made up accusations? Justin Bieber, Ricky Martin, Johnny Depp, Nick Carter and his brother, Michael Fassbender, Armie Hammer (partly), Drake Bell, Jonathan Majors, Chris Evans and his Wife and so many more, there are "expose accounts" for almost all celebrities....When Warhammer was announced I remember a tweet from a female Journalist, she said "many Journalists will dig deep into Henry's Life now to find something controversial, something they can "expose" him with". Because Warhammer doesn't fit Hollywood's agenda and new woke politics. Nothing was found so far!

Toby Emmerich wanted to get rid of Snyder and the Snyderverse ( including Henry as Superman) since 2017. After the Justice League failure. But Henry had a movie left on his contract...Emmerich offered him a small cameo in Shazam. Dany Garcia declined the offer because she, and that is my personal opinion its not a fact, wanted Henry in Black Adam for years. There was a rumor Emmerich was furious about it, he apparently said " as long as I'm running WB, Henry will never be Superman again". Emmerich is a pos, btw like all Studio Bosses. Warner Brothers used some news outlets to do hit pieces on Zack Snyder, Ezra Miller and Ray Fisher ( after Ray accused them of racism). The Superman recast was always a problem for WB because the fans are very passionate about Henrys Superman and the Snyderverse and yet WB, Emmerich, Journalists never found anything on Henry. There was never a hit peace against him from Warner Brothers. After he left the witcher someone (nobody knows who) tried to smear him but why was it done anonym? On a shady platform like demoux? It is proven they post stuff all the time without checking for facts first. If there is something on Henry why has nobody been able to expose it yet? And Im talking about the official way with an actual person behind the accusation not some "anonymous sources". Henry's Team and Management isnt that powerful to prevent something from coming out trust me. Henry may work in Hollywood but Hollywood never liked him because he never fit in. Most of the time he stays in England not in the US. He doesn't attend much Hollywood Events, After show parties, red carpet events and so on. He's getting work in Hollywood but look what kind of work it is, with directors he already worked before. Directors who like him and want to work with him again but he doesnt get a role in a Martin Scorsese movie for example. Henry doesnt belong to the inner circle of Hollywood. He left a "popular" show on Netflix, wants to do Warhammer that is full of everything Hollywood hates, he stood up for fans.....! Do you know Stephen Baldwin follows and likes Henrys posts on IG? He's exposing Hollywood for quite some time now but he seems to like Henry. Long Story short, there are definitely people ( certain WB Executives, Witcher Producers (Lauren)) who would love to see Henry getting cancelled. I think Lauren would do anything to save her show but coming out with an accusation means you need to have evidence of your claim and so far...nobody seem to have anything on him. If the Witcher smear would have been true why was it not stated by Lauren herself or her producers or the writers or even Netflix? Why was cast and crew coming out speaking well of Henry as they did for all these years? He even got a goodbye ceremony with Netflix flying in Henry's Superfan, Rory. Anonymous sources can not be trusted and not be taken as facts thats for sure. Nobody knows if in the near future someone with a face and name will accuse him of something BUT that didnt happen yet and it's more than wrong to hope for it like you do. And please dont deny it, all your posts are clearly hoping he did something wrong and thats why he needs this pr relationship, you desperately want to be right about him. That there is a dirty secret but you dont see that you literally hope hes a bad person, maybe even an abuser just because you can't stand his relationship. Im just a fan, i dont know him personally either but at least I dont hope hes a horrible dude. I want to believe in the good in people and as long as there is no serious accusation with evidence against him I and many other Fans have a right to believe he's a good Person, a right to believe he didnt do anything wrong.

Wow! I have a lot to answer:

a) "How can someone else have assumed her place?" - Simple. Once his team got to her (or him - we naturally assume it's a woman, but it could be a man), they could have bought her silence, assumed her page for a while to discredit it until it was taken down.

b) " Why didn't she make a new account" posting evidence? - If her silence was bought, she probably signed a non-disclosure deal. But, evidence...? Of what? The "accusations" she made were related to his Character and attitudes mostly and talked about a supposed freaky sexual taste. There's nothing criminal about it nor to be turned "evidence". Unless, other real lovers come public.

c) "I'm trying to stay calm and be nice to you." - What does that mean? Is that a threat or you just have a short temper? Losing your mind for a celeb you say you don't know? Careful! If you are so convinced of your favourite celeb's perfection as you say you are, why lose your temper with "nonsense" from a stranger in T? I am really surprised how people go so far to defend a celeb they say they don't know based only and exclusively on his public life. Honey, it's Hollywood! Nothing is what it seems. If you don't know the guy there's no way to know anything about him, only what he wants you to know. And these people have a different mindsetting. They don't care for bad publicity as long as they are in the spotlight.

d) "Don't you think these thoughts go a bit too far?" - Not really. Henry Cavill opened the Pandora box when he agreed to be put in this situation. He was always dubious motivating doubts in his fandom and gave us quite a show to entertain. We are just giving him the feedback. Of course, it wasn't the one he expected. You can manipulate the crowds, but there's no guarantee it will react the way you expect.

e) You name a few celebs here saying they had to face "made up accusations". Well some of the ones you named aren't saints and not all the "made up accusations" are actually "made up". Celebs are not God's above good and evil. We have been having many examples of that, lately. And "expose accounts" are part of the deal of being a celeb.

f) You say journalists (I say just curious) said they were going to dig Henry's life to find dirt and that nothing was found. I disagree. To work in this Entertainment Industry you need to be aligned with its mindsetting. If you are not a freak, you, at least, see what goes on, you deal with the freaks, you know who is who and you know who does what, remaining silent, for you don't want to lose your celeb status nor the fame and money that come with it. And being a Hollywood escort promoting promiscuous to boost an image is not exactly an example of dignified professionalism.

g) But, yes! I do believe there are abusers, CEOs in this Industry pissed with Henry, because he doesn't bend easily to them. I know he's a different kind of celeb and that's why he is restricted to action movies and directors he knows and has worked with. That's why he's fighting to become a producer (or, at least, have the title). But, that doesn't mean he's a perfect saint, a God above it all, because it's clear he accepts being subjected to a few ... How to say,... Not very decent stuff in this Industry, for real roles.

h) And, Yes! Agree with your observations on the Superman x BA cameo deal, the resistance of some in production of Supes.

i) Again, I also agree with you about his behavior on the TW set. I really don't believe the rumours about him being offensive to colleagues somehow. He might have flirted with someone, though. He's a man, human. I also think that leaving the series was a decision involving a lot, such as the possibility of making another Superman movie (promise Garcia made him, allowed him to believe and announce without a signed deal).

j) And, yes! There are a lot of absurd rumours about him. But, that doesn't mean every single rumour is a lie. Again, celebs are not above the good and evil, they are not God's. They are humans with flaws, fighting desperately to create and keep a FAKE image to the public. A fake image they come up with to be adored, to gain a fandom that will make them relevant and boost their career. They only show fans what THEY want them to see and know. Their private life can be very different.

k) And the cast and crew will always say good things about colleagues. That's part of the job to promote the production positively and the environment they work in as healthy and cool. That's part of the job. If there's a suspicion of a problem among cast and crew, the production is fated to fail.

l) "Anonymous sources cannot be trusted and taken as facts." I agree. But they can be questioned and discussed. And that's what we're doing here.

m) " Nobody knows if (...) someone will accuse him of something, BUT it's more than wrong to hope for it like you do." - Apparently, you are hoping that doesn't happen, what indicates you are insecure in your beliefs. Don't suppose you know my intentions. You say I hope someone accuses him of something. No! I don't! First, 'cause I doubt there is something that terrible, like a big deal there. But, I do believe he's not the guy he sells. Behind cameras he, by free will, accepts ... Let's say, dubious deals performed as dignified in front of cameras to sell the image of the model Character. What I do believe is that he's a hypocrite, a pretender who used immoral PR strategies against his fans trying to manipulate the media, motivating hate on the internet by exposing a woman to public execration, to avoid accountability and negative exposure, only to protect and keep his fake image. I don't see such behavior as dignified.

n) I don't need to hope for anything. Reality speaks for itself. What's been happening for four years screams what I put here. I don't need to prove anything nor convince anyone. The situation speaks for itself: The woman chosen for the PR, her rep and exposure on the internet versus his rep and the image he sold for years, the immoral strategies used by his PR team, the desperate attempts of damage control, the intentional teasing posts they adopted, their insistence in motivating fans' negative reactions to, later, point fingers accusing fans of their stupidity, his lack of attitude towards it, his participation in this circus (true or false) that HE COULD HAVE KEPT out of social media, out of the tabloids and out of the spotlight to avoid all this, BUT DIDN'T.

o) "You hope there's a dirty secret, that he's a bad person, an abuser just because you can't stand his relationship". You couldn't be more wrong! And, I see you are here as a minion criticizing a page you actually don't follow. If you have read all the posts with an open mind and attention, you would know that's not right. The dirty secret can be a deal he accepted behind cameras that reflects his real Character, the way he thinks and really is, not necessarily a terrible misconduct. And, I don't believe he's a bad person, just a vain dude who put his vanity before his moral standards making bad decisions; that he was corrupted by the Industry he works for, because he was weak. Concerning this relationship, I really believe it wasn't a relationship, just a PR and I couldn't care less. He had gone through PR stunts/dates before and you have never seen me react to them, have you? He is free to date whoever he wants. And I even believe they got sexually involved during these years of shenanigans. After all, he needs to fulfill the escorting contract and it was necessary to be convincing. And, the baby belly was the cherry of the cake. They made so much effort to prove the relationship was real (and they are still trying unsuccessfully, with the help of stans like you, who can't stand the idea it is fake). Why? Don't they believe their own love affair? Why care for what we believe? Yes, because it was quite a show they prepared for us.

p) You are a believer. I'm happy for you. I hope you continue believing and fighting for him as I once did. But, unfortunately, events that were obvious to me, made me change my mind about him. There isn't any serious fact that makes him a bad person or a criminal. But, there's enough to have his Character and image questioned. Henry is not a brave, self-confident man. He's insecure and that makes him avoid being involved in criminal or very bad acts. But, if there's a chance to slip a little to boost his image and sell it as a man he's not for vanity, he will. Such as lying and pretending to be a promiscuous' boyfriend and her baby father, just to avoid exposing the biggest PR mistake in history.

[myopicry]

Hi! Sorry if this is rambly as I'm in the middle of brain fog. I just wanted to say,I really like your blog! Even though I follow it,it won't show up on my dash (60 % of radfem blogs don't) so I just pick random days to come visit,like it was a favorite shop. And it feels like coming home. This place made through your words feels truly comforting.

You might say you are rambling but I personally love long,complex explanations. It doesn't read like you are repeating things,but like you are covering the shades of grey too,instead of only the broad strokes.

Also,I have had a gender identity and identified as male for a couple of years. Many otherwise good radfem posts focus too much on shaming "gendies" and reiterating how delusional/abnormal/jobless sad freaks they are. So it all makes me feel like I'm in high school again,getting bullied by the popular neurotypical squad. To be honest,the tumblr "queers" of today are more similar to me,as a weird,socially inept,bisexual woman who cares more about ideas than actual physical reality. However,they threw women's rights under the bus. They started encouraging 4chan incel-like levels of misogyny,and cult-like levels of obedience. So I lost any desire to belong there or to ever interact positively with them.

I fully agree with,and admire many radfem bloggers,as they really know their shit and have the courage to stick to their beliefs. But I feel that even that side is sometimes guilty of misogyny and especially ableism. And I have seen textbook narcissistic bullies being hailed as defenders of human rights even there.

So thank you for making a blog and building this in-between space here. It is very necessary to understand the opposing side are humans too,and your kindness and ability to see multiple points of view really shines through. This is very hard to do in 2024. I personally am completely out of empathy and have become a very intolerant and bitter person. So it's kind of amazing to still be able to encounter more reasonable and calm points of view online,like this.

Still,if it gets too tiring and exhausting(because it does!) you have full permission to change and go as cold and uncaring as you want,at any time! (I feel every woman needs to be told this)

🌼🌞❤️‍🩹

wow, first of all, thank you for such a lovely message !! my instinct is to make a self-deprecating joke about how this is definitely going to fuel my ego but I have actually been trying to build my self-esteem up lately, so maybe I will let it get to my head this time lmao

I definitely see where you're coming from, I find that radfems (and I have to admit, I myself am guilty of thinking like this too) find some kind of catharsis in ripping into adherents of gender ideology, whether it's out of anger, a sense of justice, or satisfaction in just pointing out how wrong someone else is. I think it's just a sort of natural behavior with political/ideological spaces, think atheists dunking on christians, leftists dunking on the right, or conservatives dunking on liberals. "dunking" culture and solidifying your own beliefs by making fun of an opposing view is just something I feel has to be expected online at this point, even though I feel like it's the most unproductive aspect of online ideological communities, especially when I otherwise agree with their beliefs.

that being said, I really can't fault people, especially individuals within smaller, niche ideological communities such as radblr, from seeking outlets for their frustration and bonding through a common enemy. ironically, I find it way easier to understand this behavior on tumblr communities because blogs feel much more like a reflection of an individual, and I can at least understand when an individual makes mistakes or lashes out negatively, but that might just be my bias towards blog culture in general.

overall though, I definitely find that it helps to look at a variety of blogs for a diversity of opinions within the community (I swear my following list gets longer and longer every day) and find the places that do curate a space you can feel comfortable in. I am honored that you might find my blog as that kind of avenue, and I'm certain there are just as many more blogs on this platform and beyond (perhaps with better writing lol) that accomplish a similar goal of fostering empathy. in fact, I know those blogs are out there because I hope one day my writing will be even a fraction as good as some of them !! I also hope one day tumblr fixes their algorithm (they won't but I will stay hopeful in slight delusion) and I can find more awesome radfem blogs without having to scroll through the oft spammed tags...

whew this response turned out way longer than I though lmao (and as always I have thought of even more words to say sigh) but once again thank you for the ask, I wish the absolute best for you !!

[k-u-r-a-g-e]

Hi Ari! First of all I wanted to thank you for keeping the kabukiboys blog up even if you don't update it anymore, it is still very useful and very interesting to read even for those of us who don't live in Japan. I do appreciate a lot all the hard work you put into that blog and all the good advice you gave regarding the host world. I am also glad to see you seem to be doing well, I really hope you are living a happy life nowadays :)

Regarding my question, let me provide you with some context. I hadn't checked your host blog (well, tumblr as a whole) for a few years and the other day I came back to your blog and started reading all the posts from oldest to newest and something caught my attention, so I wanted to ask you your opinion if you don't mind (if you decide to reply to me I would be very thankful if you reply privately). A few years ago I saw a couple of posts in which people were asking about adding hosts to LINE and you mentioned that they probably won't reply to you if they think they don’t have a use for you and it is less probable if they are in the numbers or really popular (which makes perfect sense). Those asks caught my attention, but since I have never lived in Japan and my only intention was to admire the hot guys from afar, I forgot about it because it was not like I would message them and intend to meet them, if anything I would follow them on Instagram and add them to LINE to check their status and I thought that no one would ever notice me on LINE.

So back in the day I had a huge crush on Ichijou Hikaru (I don't know if you remember this guy, he was at Radio, then DARLIN, now he is the kaichou of several clubs belonging to the BJ Group) and I started following him on Instagram when he had like 4000 followers. This guy: https://www(.)host2(.)jp/shop/blackdiamond01/hikaru/index.html After a while, in 2017, I decided to add him to LINE because I wanted to check his status updates in the shadows. I did not message him, just added him, I thought that, since he seemed to be so popular, he probably had tons of contacts in LINE and he wouldn't notice another gaijin appearing out of nowhere, but not even a couple of hours later he messaged me with a text emoji with a confused face and I freaked our because I thought he felt like I had crossed some boundaries I shouldn't have crossed, and I don't even speak more than a few words of Japanese. I asked a friend for help and messaged him back telling him sorry for adding him, that I did not speak Japanese, that I was following him on Instagram and I just wanted to check his LINE but that I did not want to disturb him, and he messaged me back saying: 連絡してくれるのだけで嬉しいで す! 是非お会いしたい! I don't remember the whole conversation, unfortunately now I only have a couple of screenshots I sent my friend back in the day to help me reply, but he was very polite and he knew I was not in Japan (I was in Korea back then) but I had told him that I wanted to visit Japan soon, and despite knowing that he never asked me to go to his club.

Back at that time I was surprised and excited because he talked to me, but I did not give it a second thought and just guessed he talked to all his female contacts in LINE. But this week, after reading again those Asks about adding hosts to LINE and messaging them and how they might not reply to you and that it is harder to hear from them if they are popular, I was wandering... maybe I was wrong and he was not that popular? I mean, I know the clubs from AIR Group were popular and expensive back in the day, but I don't know how high or low were the hosts from DARLIN in the whole popularity ranking. I guess that is something that only the people who have enough experience in Kabukicho can know.

Is it possible that I had a distorted perception of his popularity and he was not as popular as I thought and maybe that is why he messaged me in LINE after I added him? Because otherwise it doesn't even make sense for him to message some random gaijin who simply added him to LINE and did not even message him, right? (I don't even look rich, I never wear clothes or accessories from expensive brands) It is not something relevant nowadays, it is just that after re-reading yours posts this week I realized it did not make sense for him to message me at all, so I am a bit perplexed by it now. Sorry for the long message, I just wanted to provide as much context as possible. Whether you reply or not, thanks again for all the hard work you've put into your blog and thanks for sharing so much useful information with us :) Have a wonderful day!

Thank you so much for your kind message!

He was quite popular back in the day, but by 2017 I feel he was already sort of “old news”. That said, he’s a professional, and LINE notifies when someone adds you. It makes sense that he might reach out to at least check on who you are/scope out a potential customer!

I think what I meant by popular hosts won’t respond, is that they won’t continue conversation or forge a friendship with you if they know it’s not going to be useful to them.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

I was in the middle of writing a pity party post when I realized why the pity party wasn't and isn't deserved. Damn. That must be my favorite thing about writing introspectively - being able to write down my thoughts and then examine them as I'm writing until I come to the conclusion, "Oh wait, this is my fault. lol I do deserve these shitty feelings, actually."

Basically, me @ me: I can't be upset about being ignored when I've ignored everyone else! That's just hypocrisy, dear.

But then I have to ask myself: if I care about not being ignored...do I care about these people (people I went to high school and shit with, who I'm FB friends with but who I haven't been FRIENDS with for years) enough not to ignore them [anymore]?

It takes effort to maintain those relationships (I know for a fact), and I have to ask myself if I want to make the effort. And will it be worth it?

Only, that just brings up painful memories of high school again...like being abandoned by my entire friend group sophomore/junior year when we'd all been friends since middle school, and some of us had even been friends since elementary school. Junior year I did Running Start (took classes at my local community college) and dropped out of all but two high school classes (that I needed for my college applications and because I was wayyyyy too bad at math or science to take them at the college level) because I was sick to death of my high school population and I was sick of not fitting in. Yeah, I was "the weird girl" (I was called that by a couple of the most popular guys in my grade), and I held contentious opinions that OH WAIT I STILL HOLD TO THIS DAY (and thankfully now I actually have the language and the knowledge and the understanding to explain it all, unlike in high school) no one wanted to understand, and I was like 'Why am I floundering in loneliness in a peer group that I don't get along with at a school where I don't belong...' so I cut myself off from the school and the people at my school the best I could - I made it my choice as much as I perceived that it was theirs. So yeah, most people I went to high school with I don't talk to anymore, and haven't since I graduated high school, because it hasn't felt worthwhile to be friends or talk with them in far longer than a decade. None of those people were anything like a 'true friend,' so why should I make the effort to be one when they couldn't be bothered?

I guess the main difference is that I don't know any of those people anymore. We're all different people now even as I feel like I haven't changed hardly at all - hence 'I still hold opinions that I had in high school that were not popular then and heyyyyy they still aren't popular now!' lol. So maybe I should make the effort to get to know them again, or more like, anew?

And yet I have to circle back to a thought that I heard and thought of A LOT while I was in high school...something my mom used to say to me a lot, even before I started high school, I think. And that is: "Wherever you go, there you are."

I was lonely in high school...and I'm still lonely as an adult. It doesn't matter that I live in a more populous or progressive area of the state, and it doesn't matter that I went to and graduated from college...what I am still dealing with, I think, is that I am still lonely in the same way. No one knows me, because I won't let anyone know me. Because I don't believe that I'm worth knowing. And that is what makes me reluctant to reach out to anyone; in a way, it's why I'm okay with being ignored. If I can justify why people ignore me, then I can justify ignoring people.

Oof! That sounds like grounds for some motherfucking therapy!

[but-thats-its-own-story]

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@sukabu89

@tsukinoinaba

I tagged 2,687 of my posts in 2022

#references - 1,692 posts

#anime - 691 posts

#toonami - 690 posts

#pokemon - 230 posts

#one piece - 195 posts

#magical girls - 134 posts

#pokemon tcg - 109 posts

#marine biology - 105 posts

#art - 98 posts

#assassination classroom - 92 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but the consistent use of certain type combinations allows fewer card types to represent a broad range of pokemon types from the videogames

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Before people inevitably forget that this happened, I should point out that all four books of Infinity Train were billed as 'Top TV Shows' on the iTunes store the other day.

CaN't ImAgInE wHy 🙃

22 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

#4

Oh man that dream sequence and the intensity of Chat Noir's pain upon realizing it was what they both wanted but it wasn't real...

😨😭

23 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

#3

You know what?

Hey New Tumblr Users TM

(and everyone else here btw)

Feel free to not reblog anything.

Heck you don't even have to like anything.

Lurk all you want. The worst someone can do is block you.

It's perfectly okay if your blog doesn't exist for the sole purpose of supporting each and every artist of every single post that appeals to you.

Your blog doesn't belong to them.

And I'm saying this as a blog that primarily actively reblogs art and only uses likes for organization.

People get so hung-up over reblogs being better than likes.

Like it's such a necessity for all the new users to "learn how tumblr works"...

Do they stop to consider that maybe someone just wants to exist on an anonymous public platform without a stranger on the internet telling them what to do?

If new users care about tumblr etiquette they can learn it easily enough without 'Well actually' posts talking down to them.

Y'all seem all too quick to blame the people who barely just got here for not supporting artists enough...

Just a suggestion,

but how about you blame platforms and their exploitative marketing and censorship practices for screwing over the content creators they depend on to keep their companies afloat,

rather than random individual users with new accounts who, contrary to popular opinion, still don't owe you a thing?

25 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#2

After watching Risk/Strikeback for the who-knows-how-many-nth time, I just noticed something.

So Nino doesn't believe Adrien doesn't want to go because he figures his best friend would tell him, right?

Well that's good logic, except this is after Rocketear, where Adrien saw Nino react negatively to Cat Noir, the version of himself where he gets to actually express his feelings.

Even with the misunderstanding with him and Alya, it had to have hurt to see how Nino really felt, just like it was with Kagami.

So of course he doesn't tell Nino his true feelings. After what happened this season, he feels like he can't trust anyone (he even considers it a risk when he tells Marinette).

***

This makes it even worse that it becomes increasingly apparent to him that Ladybug doesn't trust him. Because she's the only one he feels like he can be himself around.

He's felt more alone than ever this season.

But then Ladybug has a full-on panic attack right in front of him, and because he's Adrien, he finally gets to see past the brave face she puts on, and her constant frustrations with Cat Noir, to the incredible pressure the girl he still loves is under.

He's never seen her fall apart like this. He immediately snaps into focus, talking her through it. And when she realizes she lost and collapses in despair, the look on his face when he decides to go in and comfort her says it all.

He was right to be upset at how she was treating him, and finally she acknowledges this, but he'd never abandon her. And now that it's just the two of them against the world all over again, his unwavering support and devotion is what finally gets through to her.

33 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

@stalkerkyoko

It's only Teenage

Cartoon Wasteland

39 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hufflepirate]

I just finished rewatching X-men Origins: Wolverine, and like... I get it.  This movie is terrible. I get that. There are massive, MASSIVE continuity problems with the other X-men movies. Like... drive several busses side-by-side through those plot holes continuity problems and WHY IS CHARLES XAVIER WALKING. The choices they made with Deadpool are not just weird they're an abomination, and most of what they did with Gambit was pretty much a waste of his potential. Kayla Silverfox deserved better than the racist Native stereotypes that cropped up around her and also better than being played by a white lady, so bad job, movie. Liev Schreiber's Super Fingernails never once fail to look ridiculous. Emma Frost is apparently?? Native American?? How??  Also, her diamond form looks terrible.  The fact that Dominic Monaghan is in it is weird. It's WEIRD.

But this movie has a special place in my heart anyway, because it was the first comic book movie I went to in the theater after discovering that I liked superheroes in college. I walked out of it thinking “wow, that was kind of disappointing” but still.  Special.  And I obviously didn’t give up on superheroes.

So anyway, here is an exhaustive list of all the things I love about Wolverine Origins: 

All the scenes of Logan being a sweet tormented lumberjack. It's cheesy. I don't care. I love it.

The scene where Kayla drives him to work and demands a kiss before he gets on the truck with the guys and he comes back and kisses her and all the guys make noises like they're teenage boys at school and somebody got called to the office and he just climbs into the back of the pickup and rides off like it's whatever ok whatever he loves her. 

 Logan: *wakes up screaming from a nightmare* 

Kayla: Was it the wars? Which one? 

Logan: All of them 

An actual line actually uttered nonsexually: "Looks like we're gonna need new sheets again, baby." 

The part where Logan is making boards while chewing on a CLEARLY UNLIT CIGAR, which he then refers to as "clean living." 

The part where this time I watched it and I’m about to make more money in a year than Lumberjack!Logan instead of the same amount or less. This isn't about the movie and I still don’t make very much money but this is the most I’ve ever made in my life and that’s pretty great.

"Your country needs you." "I'm Canadian." 

THEY USE THE I'M THE BEST AT WHAT I DO AND WHAT I DO BEST ISN'T VERY NICE LINE I'M PERPETUALLY SHOOK 

 SOMETIMES WHEN HE'S WITH KAYLA HE SMILES AND I DIE 

 I can't watch the part where he's running around naked without thinking of that one behind the scenes story about Hugh Jackman running naked down the hallway and rounding a corner to find a bunch of female crew members waving dollar bills at him.  That was actually from X2, but shhhhh, I still always laugh. 

 EVERYTHING! WITH! THE! OLD! PEOPLE!  (Except the part where they get murdered.  That part is the Worst.)

"Travis, I think there's a naked man in the barn." 

Every line Travis has in the barn is golden I'm not kidding. 

I can't even list all the things I CANNOT HANDLE ABOUT LOGAN WITH THE OLD PEOPLE 

(I'm glad the New and Good Wolverine standalone also has family dinner with kindly strangers bc OH MY GOSH MY HEART.) 

That scene where he blows up the helicopter is Peak cool-guys-don't-look-at-explosions and possibly the last truly great cool-guys-don't-look-at-explosions shot to be presented unironically, unpoisoned by the filmmakers' knowledge of that song. 

Every single thing about that first boxing scene with Blob is 100% terrible. It is Transcendently Bad. Every moment it lasts makes it more absurd. Will.i.am is in it. It's great. 

Did I mention Will.i.am is dressed like some kind of cowboy? Because he is. It is 100% believable, especially the part where his hat kind of looks like it might have a flower on it?

I love Taylor Kitsch. This movie may be a waste of Remy Lebeau, but I love Kitsch and it's nice to remember that time a couple years after this movie came out when we all thought his career might be taking off. I mean, obviously it didn't, really, but still. Good times.

The last 30 minutes are almost irredeemably awful, but the "Nobody kills you but me" line is good. Also everything between Logan and Kayla is Extremely Cheesy but imma be honest I'm here for all of it except the bits where they’re using Cheesy Indian Tropes.  We already talked about that, though.  I especially enjoy the part where she's injured and he literally carries her off into the sunset, but like, before he gets shot.  The 20 seconds of walking before the getting shot is great.

[this-is-krikkit]

Top 5 queer characters

ooooh good one, thank you !!

5. Frankie Bergstein. The most gentle soul out there, hilarious whether she wants to be or not, an incredibly loving and warm character who ends up falling in love with a woman who's shown her nothing but disdain most of their lives before they end up in the same shitty situation. What i especially love about her is that in my headcanon where that show didn't queerbait us to death, she's the bold and crazy one who doesn't care about other people's opinion, she's the one you'd expect to be brave and loud and clear about how she's in love with her best friend and it's not just platonic. But i actually love the idea that she might be the one struggling most with that realization and how to act on it, because she used to be so open and loving of everything and everyone (and still seems that way) for the seven decades before the show starts ; and she got her heart broken so badly from the twenty year old affair, that although she did get attached to Grace quickly enough and jokes about being more than friends all the time, she's deadly afraid of those feelings and what may come of them. I absolutely love this strong and funny and silly woman on the outside, who hides a much more vulnerable and frightened woman on the inside, who deserves all the lifetime of love and affection Grace has never allowed herself to feel or show anyone.. until now, post-canon !!

4. Crawley, my actual demon child, who is way too good for this world, and the other two he's visited. (And i've been torturing myself for a solid half hour trying to pick between him and his equally amazing boyfriend Aziraphale, and ended up flipping a coin for it. I'm sorry Aziraphale. I love you so much.) Anyways, back to Crawley and his ridiculous crush on an angel that makes him do crazy things such as going to actual heaven to save said angel's ass, and who embodies Iris by the Goo goo Dolls so perfectly it's a lil suspicious and he probably had smth to do with that song coming to life while he was under cover on Earth. I love a tv show that brings a book to my attention, i loved both of those media and i cannot wait for season 2.

(do i need to explain that gif choice ? no i don't. bye.)

3. Charity Dingle, chaotic bisexual icon if i ever saw one !! haven't had a chance to catch up with the soap since the Vanity shit hit the fan, but i'll get back to her one day because i miss the truly Slytherin Queen that she is (sorry for the HP mention but it belongs to us now, fuck JKR and terfs in general). Pretty sure she's the most flawed character in this list, but i apparently LOVE a queer anti hero ? She's a lot of things and not all of them good ; she's a cheat, a liar, a bad mom most of the time, selfish and venale and has trust issues towards everyone and herself the size of a mountain. She's also a survivor of terrible abuse, a fighter, a love-starved but deeply insecure person who won't let that be seen easily. She's the only such representation i've ever seen of a wlw woman esp in a popular soap, and her simply existing gives me so much hope that society might just be evolving in the right direction ? Idk man, on the good days where i still have faith for lgbt future, she sorta gives me hope for our queer lives to become part of the norm and not just sensational and weird.

2. Regina Mills from OUAT. What a great show with a great lesbian power couple and awesome message about queer families, or so i'm yelling somewhere in that parallel universe where the two cowards who wrote it grew courage instead of magic beans and made Swan Queen canon. I grew to love this character, it wasn't love at first sight (although def lust at first sight, shout out to them Evil Queen gowns) and now i'm trying to write self indulgent fics from her pov and day dreaming about all the things she deserved that she never got. Best redemption arc (apart from my #1 down there maybe) i've ever seen, a full badass bitch energy. Sidenote, Lana Parrilla being the biggest and loudest Swan Queen supporter in the cast felt suspicious to me in the beginning (idk, i don't get me either), but i'm finally at a point where i can fully appreciate how awesome that was of her.

(Yes that gif was queerbait. Yes i still get excited seeing it.)

1. Obv my number 1 queer bitch forever is ROOT from Person of Interest, it's been 6 years and i'm still in denial of the byg trope they pushed down my throat a meer day after she finally got her tiny sociopathic soulmate back. She was a lot of things that i can't detail or i would die from dehydration bc the tears would consume my entire stock of water, but she also happened to appear in a TV show i actually loved. I mean i did start watching strictly for the gayness i vaguely knew was ahead, let's be real, but POI is a show i really came to love so much even when she wasn't a main character. It touched me deeply, and i still rewatch it and get blown away by the genius of so many of its episodes, from the mind blowing plot twists to the soundtrack. I had so many kids on that show and loved them all so much, just thinking about it hurts... We were robbed of a Shoot reboot, and i'll leave it at that.

(look at her being so passionate and right and fierce and hot. loooooook. i would have followed her into battle from day one of her psych ward escape 😢 )

[humanuser0613]

Hey! I saw your post on the Instagram following percentages thin and I had a few questions.

1) Why do you think Tae and Jungkook have the most followers out of all the members?

2) What is your opinion on why Tae seems to have the most solos and akgaes?

3) This question is biased because Jimin is my ultimate bias, but, why do you think Jimin is the least popular member? I genuinely don't understand why? He has such a loving and kind personality, he's beautiful, funny, smart and extremely talented. He's humble yet confident in who he is. I guess I dont really see why he would be disliked.

Thanks!

I have thoughts, lots of thoughts sometimes. Hopefully I'm eloquent enough to string together a coherent answer. 🤞

Trigger warnings: wording used for homophobia and misogyny

1) JK is the most popular member globally. I had a post on this....

Found it!

VMin also enjoy a lot of popularity globally.

Ships might have something to do with why they have the highest follower counts, but I tend to suspect that personality of the "fan" has more to do with ships. It's about what people can project onto the members and what they get out of belonging to the community more than anything they're actually seeing when it comes to ships and shipping.

As to why they're popular: I think both are objectively good looking and good singers and performers and very, very talented with cute sides to their personalities. OT7 can recognize these qualities and appreciate them as the people they are. People who aren't part of the fandom might follow at first because of their looks or maybe performance stages. I think anyone trying to get to know them and become their true fan needs to watch original content and hopefully they become fans of the other members through that method.

I also heard rumors about "buying followers" and can't say I've seen the proof so this doesn't affect how I present my opinions. (It's only opinions here on what I've seen anecdotally as part of this fandom for a few years now.)

2) Here's where I get into some speculations as to their solos and a little bit more about why their counts are higher:

Tae and JK have very masculine looking features. Square jaws, taller frames, Tae has a deep voice, both with wide shoulders and narrow waists....they're pretty perfect looking men. In fact they've been voted as some of the most handsome men on the planet. Now JK has tattoos. That obviously makes him super masculine, right? 🙃

Do I think there are cultures where toxic masculinity is preferred over the soft masculinity BTS presents? Yes I do. I also think that these two members, in particular, have those traits projected onto them the most. There's a lot of wish fulfillment involved and projection.

Just look at that chart above and the list of countries there....how many of them are conservative? How many put women into traditional roles? How many have toxic masculinity as the prevailing masculinity mode?

Their solos project personality traits onto them that they don't have while not supporting who they've actually shown themselves to be as people. They don't listen when they talk about their love for their members and what they do as artists. They see only what they want to see. Do I think solos are into their looks more than their personalities? OF COURSE THEY ARE! Solos get mad at their own faves all the time: "#member x go solo," "they don't appreciate you," "only I can support you like you deserve," and "you're being held back from your true potential," etc. 🙄

They also victimize them. "I don't like how the other members treat my fave" and then whining and cursing at the other members, forgetting 1) they're adults, 2) they can manage their own relationships, 3) they love and respect each other and have stated so MANY, MANY, MANY times, and 4) they don't know jack or shit about what goes on behind the cameras in their personal lives. They have no clue how many times they've held each other and cried, bandaged knees or iced ankles, held deep talks, had fights that brought them closer to understanding each other, fed each other, bought gifts, tucked each other in, called to check in on each other....they will never know or understand the depths of each of their relationships. Nor do they try to understand. It doesn't mesh with their worldview of their member being the most mistreated, held back the most, given the least amount of time/lines/parts, deserving of more love than they receive of which only the "solo fan" is capable of meeting, and generally being the only one deserving of the spotlight in a group of 7.

Are there some people out in the world that simply enjoy their music as solo artists? Maybe it's about the type of music and they prefer the rapline over the vocal line as an example? Maybe it's the type of ballad they sing or timbre of their voice? I suppose there are people out in the world with very specific preferences 🤠. It's possible they aren't involved in the petty fandom shit too and don't know about all this craziness.

As to why there's more for Tae than JK, it could be because JK has tattoos and often does have dainty expressions. Tattoos aren't accepted in every culture. And that masculine fantasy is kinda hard to maintain when he's in "baby, dainty, hitting on Jimin mode." 🤷‍♀️

Alternatively Tae has been pretty vocal about shutting down his m/m ships and dating "scandals" (idols can date and people need to leave their partners the fuck alone 😡) and wanting kids....it's easier to project onto him the perfect male partner role.

(he's beautiful inside and out and no troglodytes following him on IG will ever degrade his shine 😤)

3) Jimin is very popular globally and has the third most followers on IG. He's nowhere the least popular member. Just among the solos that follow the members (except for Tae) he's the least popular. I think some of it has to do with his less masculine/more androgynous features, perhaps his higher vocal capabilities, perhaps it's the competition that solos project onto him. There's a reason he has so many terms associated with misogyny thrown his way: "homewrecker," "slut," "flirt," "he does that with all the members," etc. It's tiring. 😩 Then there's the homophobia: "he keeps pushing himself onto JK," "he's out of control," "he needs to leave BTS," etc. He's seen as competition. He is definitely someone that looks after the members emotionally as they've all said and that's usually a feminine associated trait. His looks are beautiful, he's kind, nurturing, intelligent, funny, great body, hard working, artistic, polite....sex on two legs 😳. Do solo/akgae y/n treat him like a threat to their fantasies? YEP! Does it make logical sense? NOPE!

But anyone hating on any of the members and refusing to see how amazing they are as humans just has to have emotional, intellectual, and psychological deficits. 🤷‍♀️ I don't make the rules.

TL:DR - y/ns are projecting their stunted human issues onto the members and they include things like toxic masculinity, misogyny, and homophobia.

[wickedpact]

A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

[fumiko-matsubara]

Chiba Ryuunosuke ー The calm type of social butterfly?

So yesterday, Zaina and I had a fairly long talk about how Chiba is a lot more social and friendly than he appeared to be despite being a supposed introvert.

And no, I am not just talking about him being comfortable in his own friend group, which is a very normal thing among introverted people. In fact, if you actually read the manga and some of the extra materials Matsui had released post-AssClass, most of the students you see him interacting with the most are the ones who are outside of his friend group... well, that is if you consider his friend group being him and the art trio even though there are hardly any scenes of them actually interacting in canon but ahehe.

Zaina pointed out to me, or rather stated an unpopular opinion about how Group 2 is like the kids have their seperate group of friends instead of them being a whole friend group, which is a popular take in the fandom, and I completely agree with her. Because think about it, we have the Art trio (Sugaya, Mimura, and Okajima), Hayami is friends with Touka and possibly even Hinano as well, Fuwa has Ritsu and Hara initially, and Nakamura just goes to whatever friend group she sees and dives right in.

As for Chiba (take this with a grain of salt as this is purely based from how I generally understood his character in the manga), I believe that he has almost the same case as Nakamura whereas instead of forcing himself into random friend groups like she does, he gets pulled into different friend groups because he had gained the trust of the rather many people he had interacted with before.

I'm basing this assumption from some of the kids I've seen him interacting with in the mangaー Hinano, Maehara, Sugino, Okano, Isogai, Kimura, Okajima, and Karma to name a few. As for the extra materials like the albums and the novel parts of the lesson books (korotan and korosuu), there was Nakamura, Nagisa, and Takebayashi as far as I still vaguely remember.

I find it so interesting that despite the little screen time he had even in the manga, he still managed to be seen interacting and maybe even becoming friends with at least one member from each group, the most being in Group 1 (5 out of 7 members) which is also the group that has most of the class extroverts.

This pretty much supports my headcanon about how Chiba finds it easier to get along with people who are more talkative than he is instead of people who are quieter than him, because he doesn't feel pressured to hard carry a conversation, which is something he understandably struggles with for someone whose only source of social interaction growing up was with his family, as I have previously talked about in here.

This also explains why he struggled to get along with Hayami outside of school even though they worked so well together whenever they get paired up for training and such.

And no, I am not saying that Chiba is an extrovert. He still is not despite what I have said, not even an ambivert actually. He's just a very social introvert. Not exactly loud nor very talkative, but he finds it easy to approach anyone who is willing to look past his supposed unapproachable appearance and just talk to him without prejudice. He's not the type to unnecessarily bring attention to himself when in a group, definitely not lol. But he's the kind of social introvert who prefers to be in a friend group with extroverted people and would already be contented with just watching his loud friends having fun.

How do I say this? He likes the commotion without wanting to cause said commotion lol.

Chiba is also canonically empathetic, observant, and quietly looks after people. This was evidently shown in the Takaoka arc when he asked Hinano regarding her feelings about the situation despite the very welcoming front Takaoka had firstly shown to the class on his first day, which shows that despite Hinano's fixation towards Karasuma being considered as mere fangirling that can be brushed off, Chiba still pays attention enough that he'd consider her feelings for something as supposedly simple as substitute teaching. (The anime adaptation completely omitted this scene by the way, hence why it may be unfamiliar to some of you).

What really hit me in this panel (It's seriously just one panel lol), was that Chiba was so casual when he asked Hinano about it. As in, you could tell he probably doesn't want this to be made a big deal of, let alone accidentally bring unnecessary attention to Hinano. Because I assure you, if he instead pulled her in and whispered to her, people around them will find it suspicious at how they are huddling together and will make a big deal out of it then (reminder: more than half of Class E are ridiculously nosy).

Chiba clearly knows that and definitely doesn't want that to happen to Hinano, of all people. Especially considering what happened later in the chapter or, what nearly happened to Hinano only because she decided to be loud about it. Yikes.

I know a lot of people like to use what Chiba had subtly done for Karma in the finals arc as a popular example, since it's also one of the only scenes that had made it to the anime adaptation. But I decided to give more light to what he had done for Hinano because it fully showcases how observant and caring he is and at the same time, taking more of his surroundings into consideration.

Zaina also added how while he's the type to quietly enjoy the commotion his extroverted friends do whenever they have fun, whenever he feels that someone is likely feeling left out, he'd be also the type to try including them in and making sure that they feel belonged. Because I don't know about y'all, but unless they deserved it, I strongly believe Chiba wouldn't want people to go through what he did growing up.

Now the question is, how does Chiba get along so well with plenty of people?

Honestly, if you looked past his appearance, which inadvertently does make him seem very quiet and gloomy, Chiba has always been a friendly and happy kid. The independent, mature, and serious side of him is mostly showcased whenever he's in "work mode", which is pretty telling that he clearly knows when to take things seriously and when to have fun. Chiba is known to be very calm and gentle among the class, which is definitely the big part of his personality that drew non-judgemental people towards him (this was stated in the korosuu, @clownao please confirm this unless I'm remembering it wrong T-T).

Unless you're one of the many people who stubbornly refuses to approach him due to his appearance, Chiba's personality is what makes him naturally likeable, especially with his classmates. Like who wouldn't want to be friends with someone who's just as unconditionally kind as he is?

And to think that he still managed to turn out like this despite the social bullying he had went through growing up 💔

Just so you know, I am completely basing this from the screen time he had in the series (anime, manga, and the extra materials), as in what was shown canonically. For all we know, he's probably friends with everyone in the class and that Matsui just didn't bother showcasing them all since Chiba is just a side character who doesn't have to have many screen time.

People just either avoids him, don't bother talking to him, or straight up just wants to be his friend.

There are no other options outside of the given three :D

[writerfae]

♪ The Knights of the Alder - Band AU: Headcanons (part 2) ♪

this is part two of me gushing about my daydream Band AU, this time sharing random headcanons

here's part one btw

♬

Aiden is the lead singer

the other's do background vocals sometimes

I'm not sure if Halea or Talon would be the drummer of the band but I lean towards Halea because I think it would fit her best

they sing duets too. sometimes it's Aiden and Talon, but oftentimes it's Maya singing with Aiden

Maya has a very lovely singing voice

she was too shy to sing in front of people at first but when she got closer with the others and they encouraged her, she felt comfortable enough to do it eventually

the band would also totally make one of those unplugged sessions

Talon loves those sessions especially, because he's a huge fan of acoustic songs

I feel like their band would make very cool and badass music videos

Talon and Aiden write a lot of songs together, later it is mostly love songs

they are dating, but they didn't make it official at first so they kind of had a secret relationship for some time

but some fans were on to something and the two decide to have their fun with that and mess with their "shippers"

like, they never confirm their relationship when asked, but they constantly drop hints and watch people make wild theories

in one music video Aiden wears a Shirt that belongs to Talon (one he was often seen wearing) and there are whole videos of people being like "they're dating and i can proof it"

in an interview someone once asked "Who are you thinking about when singing love songs?" and Aiden answered "Apple pie."

eventually they do confirm their relationship tho

they do have a YouTube channel where they do acoustic covers, just the two of them

speaking of dating, I like to think that at some point at the beginning some fans were like "we're pretty sure some of them are dating but we don't know who is dating who"

I imagine Aiden, Talon, Halea and Maya would be that kind of band that interact with their fans a lot

for a while Halea got her hands on the band's official snapchat account and used it mainly to cause chaos

they also do stuff like reading tweets about themselves (doesn't matter if thirsty ones or hater comments or just opinions and nice comments about them in general) and other "games" like "never have I ever"

one tweet said something along the lines of Talon being the bad boy of the group and Aiden, Halea and Maya burst out laughing because that's just so unrealistic

Talon always tried to keep up the baddie imagine a bit, but was completely outed as a big softie when in one interview he said the two big loves in his life are music and Aiden

their first tour is sold out in no time and honestly they are sorta overwhelmed at the first concert because where do all these people come from?

for Halea, touring is actually the most fun part of being in a band, while Maya prefers studio work, Talon likes that they get to travel around when on tour but he also thinks it's low-key stressful

hear me out: BACKSTAGE TOUR VIDEOS

Halea is also the one who talks a lot during interviews and Maya is doing surprisingly well, too, despite always being anxious over interviews

Talon absolutely hates interviews at first and Aiden is really awkward in them at first but he gets better

when on tour in a new city, the boys like to take some time for sightseeing, dressing up so no one recognizes them. you notice, they like to be sneaky

Halea and Maya regularly have spa days when on tour

for Aiden the music had always been most important, he couldn't care less if they are popular or not as long as he gets to play music and have fun with his friends, because that's what makes him happy

but Aiden is still happy that people love their music just as much as he does

Talon, Maya and Halea would say quite similar things when asked

the four of them often say in interviews that they're more than just a band, they're family, and they are happy to make this incredible journey together

♬

maybe wanna check out the AU soundtrack? You can find it here :D

so this was my last band AU post I'll shut up now I promise xD

general tag list: @deadlycupid @writing-is-a-martial-art @writingamongther0ses @blueinkblot @wildswrites @abi-radio @theroyalcoven @7devills @myhusbandsasemni

[mymemoirs]

Unrecorded Memories and Missing Taiwan #8

This is gonna be my last post for this series because I am left with only one week worth of story. Yes, my 2018 summer exchange story is coming to an end. I'm so glad it's going to be over because there's so many things I want to write in my next post.

32) Monday came and each groups presented their presentation in front of the class. My groupmates and I presented our presentation. It went smoothly and there were no real pressure compared to my AI presentation. Unlike the AI presentation, there was no grading for our presentation and thus no recognition of who's the best presenter in our class. Well, I think this way we can just be neutral and enjoy everyone's presentation. Although, to be honest, I can't remembered any of the presentations during this class compared to the AI class.

Okay, this is really out of context, but I have to admit that the Indian students I met are confident and good presenter. One presenter in particular presented like Steve Jobs. His talk is inspiring and full of hope (well, his expressions especially) even though he's just explaining about an AI that creates lyrics for music.

Now, back to topic *laughs*. So, after everyone in the class finished their presentation, I think we were dismissed quite early. I don't really remember what I did that day. The only clue I have of that day is a photo of the 7-Eleven near the campus. I think knowing well that I will miss that place, I just took a photo of it for my memorabilia. Well, sure enough, I do missed that convenience store. They have everything! I always bought my breakfast there. Sometimes I even have my lunch or dinner there. It's such a memorable place. I really love how the convenience store really depicts 'convenient' very well. It's very different from the convenience store in my country. Oh, and I think it's open for 24 hours. Like, seriously, this is too convenient!

7-Eleven store besides Asia University Campus. Look at that infinite supply of foods with chairs and tables. I just love so many selections of foods to choose, I really miss Taiwan's 7-Eleven.

33) On Tuesday, our professor suddenly told us that we were going to have a campus tour. So, off we go around the campus with our professor as the tour guide. It's not like we don't explore the campus but after the tour, I realize how big the campus is and how little exploration I did. There were so many places, BEAUTIFUL places around the campus. But the only thing I did whenever I finished classes was to go back to my room and rest. I don't really explored much except when I get lost. I also didn't visit other friends in different dorm buildings which is located quite far from my own. Now, that I think back, it's really too bad that I don't do much exploring but that's also one of the reason why I would still want to go back to Taiwan if I had the chance. I'm only in Taichung before and there were a lot of cities in Taiwan I haven't explored yet. I'll love another chance to explore the country.

The first half of our class (before lunch) was spent on touring the campus. After that, on the second half of our class, we went to an art museum in Asia University. I think our professor was out of ideas on where to take us and since most of us never visited the art museum that was actually located in the campus. He suggested that and we all went along, although, we must pay for our own entrance fee to enter the museum. However, I think it was discounted. I vaguely remembered paying 100 NTD for that.

The museum itself is called "Asia Museum of Modern Art" located in Asia University's premises. I actually had to pass through the museum every time I went back to my dorm. It have this amazing architecture that's also one of its selling point in my opinion. The architect of the building is a Japanese man named Tadao Ando. I just have to go gaga on him after searching more about him and his works. What a talented man he is! It even shows in the museum I went.

He's a King of Concrete because his works mostly uses concretes and the museum I went was made of concrete. It was also not painted and that's really interesting to see a building not painted but still exudes such a classy and modern look. There's also one spot in the museum that's very popular. Since the building is triangle, the corner of it have this eye fish effect if we took a picture from that corner. Just take a look at this picture below!

In one of the corners in Asia Museum of Modern Art.

As you can see, being in the corner allows people to see both sides of the wall, making an effect of using a wide lens or fish eye lens. I saw Tadao Ando's other work too in the internet and I am officially a fan of his work now. He really have piqued my interest in the world of design. I'm in love. *laughs*

Since it was an art museum, there were a lot of art works ranging from pottery, paintings to very abstract object. According to the guide, the museum have different arts displayed there depending on the exhibitions. I don't really remember what exhibition or what theme I am seeing when I went there but I was mostly focused on the architecture of the buildings. Walking around and seeing people taking pictures. I don't really take pictures which is kind of a bummer but I don't think I feel comfortable asking people to take a picture of me. Most of my pictures are taken in a group or by my classmate's initiative.

I took a picture of this because of the meaning behind the words which is very simple but deep. You read it downwards and from right to left, it would be translated as: "In Beauty, there are great pain and ecstasy"

34) After our trip to the museum, we can go back to our dorm. That Tuesday was actually the last night for my roommates since their classes had finished. So, we decided to eat outside and find a cafe where we can chill near the campus. The campus is actually very convenient since there's a lot of shops near it. I actually enjoyed eating around there to be honest. Ah, now I really miss my student's life. Hahaha.

When we went to the cafe, we ordered waffles and shared it among the four of us. While we were eating, the cafe owner suddenly approached us and offered another serving of waffles for free. That is actually quite surprising for us but we received it with delight. Who wouldn't like a freebies right? However, I had a feeling the reason we got that free waffle was because my roommates were attractive. Or maybe it's just because we were new customers and he wanted to gain repeating customers. Which is me *laughs* cause I brought another friends to that cafe again but we weren't lucky to receive a free waffle again. Oh yeah, the name of the cafe is 唯享时刻 (Enjoy Moments) which have a very cute exterior. I think that's the reason why the four of us is interested to try out that cafe.

Anyway, while being on the topic "being treated/ getting freebies" cause you're attractive, it's only when I went to Taiwan that I do saw this kind of thing. I mean back in my country, it's really rare to see my friends being treated or offered by strangers 'cause we're really scared if that actually happens. Heck, I even saw it twice happening with my roommates since one of my roommates were especially attractive. Aside from the cafe, there's this one time when we went to a minimart to buy our breakfast for tomorrow. The cashier actually didn't charge one of my roommate for something she brought it was as if he was treating her. It was actually amusing for me to witness that, their conversation goes like this:

Cashier: *scans barcode of the stuff, leave out an item and then says the price*

Roommate: Um, you forgot to scan the banana.

Cashier: Oh, no, it's alright. It's for you.

Roommate: Um, okay... *while giving the money* Thank you.

This is not really the exact conversation since I forgot if the cashier even said anything at all about giving it to her. I am not beside or behind her when this happened and I remembered the cashier being meek but he was definitely attracted to my friend. Because after going out of the minimart, the rest of my roommates who also went to the same class with her, tease her and said that this is not the first time the cashier treated her. And I think that's also part of the reason why they chose to shop at that minimart.

Last picture together before my roommates leave Asia University.

Anyway, back to to the cafe moment, I was really sad that we had to part ways tomorrow. Iris and Karen were going to stay in Taiwan for a while but they will go to a different cities tomorrow. Vincy, on the other hand, will be going back to Hong Kong. I can't remember every conversation we had, but I do miss them from time to time. I don't know if they feel that way towards me because our meeting is really such a short period of time and I actually rely on them as my roommates. We still had the WhatsApp group chats but it's always me who initiate the conversation in the group but even if we're not close, they really leave behind such a deep impression on me. I do hope I can meet them again.

35) The next day, on Wednesday, we have our class as usual. Our professor invited other lecturer to teach us about Fintech that day. There weren't much to mentioned for this day except that my roommates all went to their respective destination and we parted ways. I did have the chance to eat my lunch with Vincy before I sent her off in front of the campus. Aaaah, now I really miss them and the moments I had with them but life must go on and that's the thing about making friends across countries. You need to go back to where you belong.

On Thursday, the professor told us that we're going to have a farewell party and ask us to gather in a cafe near the museum. The cafe was actually managed by an alumni of the university and I think that's the reason why our professor wanted us to go there. Although, I don't know if the cafe still exists since it doesn't show up in google maps. With the pandemic that's happening, I felt it cause businesses to go bankrupt but at the same time new kind of businesses went viral during the pandemic.

During our farewell, everyone is having a light snacks and coffee, conversations, picture taking, etc. I don't quite remembered how the event unfolds in the Entrepreneurship and Creativity class farewell compared to the AI class farewell. I think the professors only gave some short speech and we also watch some videos before we received our certificates. The owner of the cafe also gave her speech about the cafe which really fits our class.

Receiving the certificate of completion from the professor.

After the farewell party, everyone is free to go. I usually hang out with my Thai friends when I'm on this class but instead of going out with them, I went out with my classmates who came from the same university as I am. It's funny that I only get close with them on the last day. I think they've told me that they felt I was not really approachable especially since I always hang out with my Thai classmates. I don't really deny that because I personally felt the time is so short to be friends with everyone and I'm the type to focus on one group of friends rather than getting along with everyone which I think is impossible for introverted me.

It's a good thing that I do get along with them eventually. I am also grateful that they invited me to go out with them 'cause I don't think I'll go anywhere that day if they didn't invite me. Although, initially I think they just invited me to get a picture together in front of the campus as the representative of our university. After that, they find me approachable enough to ask if I had any plans and would like to join them. Since I love travelling and am not the type to plan most of my days, I gladly accept their offer.

So, off we go to their dorm since they had to take care of some stuff (like preparing to go out, do a little packing, pray, etc). Since, I'm ready to go out and have done most of my packing, I don't mind going along with them to their dorm. It's also the first time I visited other dorm buildings aside from my own. Their dorm rooms are actually quite different compared to mine. They had inner toilet in their rooms while in my dorm the toilet is outside of our rooms. While I am there watching them, one of the classmates actually offered to do some makeup on my face and I let her do it. Although, I don't really have a picture of it unfortunately.

Me and my classmates from Airlangga University

After that, we went downtown to get our lunch since the food in the cafe is just light snacks. It was quite late when we grabbed our food, I think around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. We went to subways since they're craving for it and I also think it's halal for them. I actually enjoyed talking with them, they're funny and expressive. However, in terms of a travel buddy, I don't think I can get along with them because they only visited shops and more shops to buy the stuff people ask them to. Of course, they charge for it which is very business minded of them but I can see they're struggling with their baggage too.

We were outside for the whole day. Since, I had no makeup remover, I had to follow them to their room to use it. Afterwards, I left their dorm because I had prior plans with two of my Thai classmates (Phoom and Benz) to eat together since this is our last night in Taiwan. I remembered only eating with both of them even though there are other Thai classmates who didn't joined us that night.

While walking to our meeting point, I actually thought how beautiful the night view is around the campus. There were couple of places I went during daylight but it looks so different and beautiful with the lights. The moon was very bright that night too. Tbh, those kind of moments actually reignite my desire to travel again and even during that time I already missed Taiwan. I'm sure people who travel or on a holiday have those kind of moments where they miss holidays even before it ends.

Now, back to our dinner. We ate our dinner in a beef noodle shop near the campus which is actually very popular because it's close to the university and it also tastes quite good. Although, I don't think we can eat that everyday because it's quite costly compared to other available options (around 100 NTD). But when's the perfect time to eat a bit costly dinner than the last day, right? I personally enjoy talking to both of them even though they are much older than me since I knew they were a master's student around their 30s. After eating, we went to a minimart where they bought beers and then we walked back to our respective dorms since my dorm buildings aren't the same with them.

36) Friday, my last day in Taiwan! Everyone who's going back that day went to the meeting point in front of the campus where we will board on a bus that's heading to the airport. We say our goodbyes to the remaining friends who's going to stay, taking pictures together and just spent some time chatting before the bus arrived. Most of my classmates are going back directly to their countries but I was heading to Singapore instead because I have relatives living there.

The moon is so tiny but trust me, it really caught my eyes. Seeing it with your own eyes does feels different.

We all went home that day. It was really a memorable month for me and I am grateful that I get to experience all of this. I have always wanted a student exchange experience while still balancing my college life and this opportunity came through. Having this summer exchange on 2018 was one of the best highlights I had during college. While on the plane back home, I sat near besides the window and I was able to see a full moon shining brightly and beautifully. Although my phone didn't do much justice to the grandeur I saw, I really wanted to share with everyone the picture of it to end this series.

- Reina

PS. Thank you for reading this series, if anyone ever read it. I really appreciate it. Even though there are certain events or timelines that I'm not completely sure of, I find writing and sharing about the memories I had in Taiwan as a fond thing to do because it's really a memorable one that I just had to write about it. I also find this process - digging up past memories - to be a good exercise for my brain.

[cetospandiglia]

Ywsterday (sunday february 14th of 2021) there was an election in Catalonia and I feel like talking about it so I'm gonna explain it briefly (a brief explanation, a long post mayne 10 or 15 min read) for my American & international readers out there. (This will have a clear bias, I'm no journalist. That said, I don't belong to any of the parties discussed in this post.)

First, a bit of context for those completely unaware. Catalonia is a historical region of Spain with its own language (which has been marginalized and banned to various degrees during the last 3 centuries, which stirs controbersy to this day) and a separatist movement that has had moments of relevance and irrelevance along the last ~100 years.

Independence as a social movement has had its ups and downs, 25 years ago it wasn't very relevant but in the 2010s it started gainign traction ending in an unsuccessful unilateral declaration of independence in 2017 which resulted in the arrest or exile of most of the government (President Puigdemont is exiled in Waterloo, vice president Junqueras has spent years in prison now).

With that out of the way, to talk about the players in this election first we have to understand how does one get to be president of Catalunya.

Catalunya, as well as Spain as a whole and many other european countries and regions, doesn't have Presidential elections, they only vote for the parliament members: voters choose a party and once the Parliament is made up they vote for the president. In this particular case, the Parliament has 135 seats so if some party gets 68 seats they have an absolute majority and can govern by themselves in most cases (some things require 2/3 majority but to elect a president and to pass most laws it's just half+1).

The thing is, this election the winner didn't get anywhere near 68 seats, they got 33 so whoever ends up governing needs to pact. It's time to know the players:

To start, we're going to talk about the parties in the previous, independentist government:

THE INDEPENEDENTIST FORCES:

Junts per Catalunya (together for Catalunya) is a big, centrist coalition of organisations with left leaning and right leaning sectors. The left sees them as right wing and they're the only catalanist right wingers, so the rest of the right fucking hate their guts. They were in power for decades (under the name Convergència i Unió, the history of this party is convoluted) since the end of the fascist regime and did a lot of work to reestablish the place and institutions of the Catalan language (Franco was infamously against any languages in Spain that weren't Spanish). This is the party that the exiled president Puigdemont belongs to. Of the main 2 parties in power this was the bigger one until last night.

Esquerra Republicana de Catalunya (ERC, Republican Left of Catalunya, republican as in opposed to monarchy): Left wing, cataln nationalist run-of-the-mill european social democrats. They defend the catalan culture and language as JxC has done, they were in power as a part of the "tri partit" (three parties) with other left wing forces from 2003 to 2010 to avoid more years of JxC government. Then, independentist movement started to gain traction, the more conservative faction of JxC left and they (JxC & ERC) formed a government together with the complicit votes of CUP.

CUP (Candidatura d'Unitat Popular, Candidature of Popular Unity) is a far-left, socialist, quasi-anarchist organisation that used to have a few members of local councils but didn't even bother going to Catalan elections, then independence happened and have had a few MPs ever since. Not enough to pass any radical laws, but enough so that the JxC and ERC coalition needs their votes to govern: they vetoed Artur Mas, an infamously corrupt president and actually got what they wanted.

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ELS COMUNS (the commons?) is neither independentist or unionist, they're a left wing party (less radical than CUP but also with less relevance and votes in the general Catalan panorama, although they have the Mayor of Barcelona). They try to pass progressive left leaning legislature and even though some of them want independence, they don't believe it's a pressing issue for the catalan people. Their Spanish Counterparts, Podemos, are in power as the 2nd, more "radical", left leaning force of a center-left coalition in the Spanish governent with PSOE.

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THE UNIONISTS:

PSC (Partit dels Socialistes de Catalunya, Socialists' Party of Catalunya) is the Catalun branch of PSOE (socialists etc etc español), a center-left party that is currently in the Spanish government. PSC used to have catalanist sectors and when they were in power in Catalunya (as the 1st force of the Tripartit) they passed laws to defend catalan etc (to this day since the death of Franco no regional government of Catalonia has been against defending Catalan). Those positions towards the language and culture probably remain but now they're explicitly anti independence. They're not super left but if you don't count Comuns as unionists, PSC is the farthest left you can go in the unionist side.

PP: the strong Spanish right wing party since the 90s, where all the francoists ended up after the transition in the 70s, they held the Spanish governent '96-2004 and 2011-2018 and do not want to defend catalan. They won't usually say it out right though, they'll say things like "spanish speakers are oppresed in Catalunya", and that's the same for all anti-independentists. In Catalonia, though, they have very bad results.

Ciudadanos (citizens) is basically a split from PP that formed in 2006 in Catalonia to be explicitly anti-catalanist. For a hot second it seemed like they could be the new strong party of the Spanish right but now the party is crumbling and in Catalunya specifically they've gone from 1st force (they still didn't govern) with 36 seats to second to last with only 6. Rumours say that the party will dissolve before the next election.

Vox is a far right party that likes Donald Trump and fucking hates independence and Catalunya, they're a new party and rn the strongest of the spanish right wing forces in Catalunya in 4th place in the parliament.

Now you know all the players I can explain THE RESULTS:

(the big hemicircle is yesterday's results, the little one is last election's)

PSC has had a slight edge over ERC but they haven't been able to reflect that in more seats. Cs has crumbled from first place to 8th. Vox has appeared out of nowhere, but the rise in unionist seats (26) between PSC and Vox is still smaller than the 30 seats Cs has lost.

In the independentist side, ERC has gained 1 seat, JxC lost 2 and CUP gained 5 for a total gain of 4 seats for the independentists.

Even thoug an explicitly far right force has entered the parliament, this election shows a trend towards left wing forces: unionists towards PSC rather than Cs, and independentist towards ERC and CUP.

Even though the JxC+ERC coalition is a mess, all analysts and journalists agree that ERC's Pere Aragonès has the best chance to become the next President. All evidence points to the fact that CUP will have an easier time voting for a leftist President from ERC than a centrist/right winger from JxC, and some rumours say that ERC could be looking for Comuns' support. They don't want independence but maybe they can be brought in to strengthen the left wing stance of this new government.

The opinions of analysts and the rumours I mention come from last night's TV3 election special.

Election results:

If you've read the whole thing thank you and I hope this has been useful 😊❤️

[henrik-von-schneeplestein]

sorry we keep coming to bother you with stuff like this, but did you happen to see the nasty 'creepy comment' about ego shipping huffle-dork made before retagging it? that horrid septic-dr-schneep came in with their own stupid post. are shippers in the wrong for being upset? should there be an anti ego shipping tag for those that don't like it you think? (sorry if including their names doesn't sit well with you) ~🥀

Yiiiiikes omg I was at work and didn’t see at all but I did some ~research~ and jesus fucking christ lol

Shippers are definitely allowed to be upset at being called creepy (can’t believe that needs saying but this is the JSE fandom so) but honestly this is one of those things that I don’t even have the capacity to be angry about anymore. Anyone who ships the egos has heard this, and we’ve heard it eight million times. We know exactly what these people say about us, and we also know that no one else in the community cares. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it every day if I have to: the reason things like this are so asinine and hurtful are because ego shippers are without contest the nicest part of this fandom (they’re also the most talented, which is I think a bigger part of the issue than people realize lol - for some of those people, it truly is jealousy). I don’t give a single fuck if people in this fandom like me; it’s when I see people, especially LGBTQ+ people, talk about how ashamed they feel of shipping and making secret blogs to avoid backlash for it, that I get angry. Because to see the kindest, most welcoming people in the fandom feeling like they don’t belong - being told that they don’t belong - is heartbreaking.

I didn’t see the ‘should people who hate ego ships have their own tag’ part of the discourse, but all I can say is that if the concept of gay people writing stories that represent their own identities makes you so angry that you feel the need to comment on it in literally any way that isn’t ‘hey I personally don’t like ego shipping so don’t tag me in it or send it to me,’ I don’t think what you need is a tag, I think what you need is probably therapy. 

Unless what you meant is should there be a specific tag they can block, in which case the answer is absolutely: the name of whatever ship they’re uncomfortable with. It’s absolutely valid to be uncomfortable with/hate a certain ship - I’m sure plenty of shippers have a few - and if there’s more than one, you can easily block more than one ship name. If you hate the concept of any of these male characters being shipped together, it’s your responsibility to block all those tags. Some people may tag ‘ego shipping’ on fanworks they post (sometimes it’s nice to do - I track ‘ego shipping!’ Get that exposure, y’all!) but that’s in no way required. It’s not something that necessitates warning, like violence or sexual content; there’s nothing inherently objectionable or controversial about ego shipping (or any other queer content) so it doesn’t need to be tagged and it most certainly doesn’t need to be warned for. 

By the wayside, using names is fine on my blog. I’m definitely a big believer in ‘if what you’re saying is justified, you sign your name to it and don’t subpost or be passive aggressive; own it entirely, otherwise it’s just gossip and shit talk.’ I’ll always risk ‘drama’ to make my stance clear.  Every time I see a blog that has one of those weird insult things isa-ghost gives out in their description - idk if it’s an AU or like a joke but they’re like “’ugly carrot’ according to isa-ghost” or “’unwanted suitcase’ according to isa-ghost” - I desperately want to add “’petty shipper’ according to isa-ghost” to my description but I mean I think that might validate the ‘petty’ part a little too much jghjfgh. ‘Horrid’ is maybe a stronger word than I would use for s-d-s but I mean if they’ve made you feel uncomfortable you have a right to say so. I’ve never had an issue with people just saying on their own blog that they personally don’t like shipping which to the best of my knowledge is what that person mainly sticks to, even if I agree it’s pretty clear that her stance is the same as the people who are actively horrible to us, and I did take issue with something (unrelated to shipping) she said once so I don’t really interact with her. The blogs I’m always talking about that I really find disgusting are the ones that call us gross, the ones that claim we shouldn’t like it or should ‘trigger warn’ it, the ones who say we don’t belong in the community, the ones who say we should ‘have our lgbt cards taken away’ lol. That’s the thing - we literally are asking for the most basic of respect. The bar is literally underground, and these people just keep picking up shovels.

Honestly, my reaction to this happening is ‘well, what are we gonna do about it?’ Not in a defeatist way - I’m genuinely asking. What can we do to make sure all the wonderful, creative, talented, sweet ego shippers know that they’re valued members of this community, and deserve better than this kind of treatment? To anyone who may still be reading who isn’t actively a shipper but likes to consider themselves a kind & welcoming community, I’m sorry, but I need to ask you to do better. If you see someone saying something actively mean or disrespectful about ego shippers, at the very least, unfollow & stop interacting. I know that’s a big ask, even if it shouldn’t be, because these are big blogs and you want to feel included and have friends. But continuing to support them is by nature saying that it’s acceptable behavior, that it’s just a difference of opinion, and again, once it crosses that line, it’s not anymore. By all means, interact with people who don’t ship and don’t like shipping - interact with ONLY those people if you want. And of course I can’t tell you what to do when it comes to the downright mean people, I’m just asking you to consider what you’re saying when you tolerate people who insult and demean certain community members for no reason, and I’m also asking you not to further insult us by telling us you support us while making it very clear that you don’t care if we’re treated with basic respect or not.

And to the shippers, my ‘what can we do?’ is a genuine, open-ended question. If there’s anything that I personally can do to make you feel welcome in this community, please tell me what it is. I’m not a very popular blog at all, but you should always feel free to tag me in/send me any ego ship content and I’ll happily reblog it, and god knows I’m always around to talk about ships, AUs, headcanons, and that kind of thing! I’m also around to talk just in general - if you’re feeling ashamed, angry, or sad about your place in the fandom, I’ve always got open ears and heart emojis for you. I love you very much and I’m glad you’re here.