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helnjk · 4 years ago

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In a Crowd of Thousands - Part 2 // F.W.

Fred Weasley x fem!reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: You never really forget your childhood love. For Princess Y/N of Diagon, hers came in the form of a boy whose dream it was to start a business and support his family. As it goes, life–and her duty to her kingdom–had gotten in the way. She longed to see him again, to see the success she was sure he had achieved. Luckily, fate was on her side.

Warnings: food mention, alcohol mention (champagne, blink and you’ll miss it), gambling mention (it’s a small bet, blink and you’ll miss it again)

A/N: okay but im lowkey proud of this part. this is the last official ‘chapter’ of this mini series, and i’m really excited to share it with y’all hihi xx

(also also, there’s a bonus part at the end that you don’t have to read but i love it lol)

flashbacks are in italics

Prologue | Part 1

The grand ballroom of the palace was packed with people.

Princess Y/N of Diagon sighed internally as her eyes swept over its expanse. At 21 years old, she was mere months away from her coronation. And, as tradition dictated, a ball was being held in her honor and she avoided it until the last minute that she could.

To be quite honest, she thought that the idea of a ‘presentation’ was completely outdated and there was absolutely no need for it. She was more than familiar with her people and she didn’t need this night of frivolity and grandiosity to prove it.

When Minerva first brought up the idea of having to fake a smile and discuss politics in a stuffy room with a bunch of aristocrats, Y/N immediately rolled her eyes. She knew that it was tradition for her to be ‘presented’ to her kingdom, but she also knew that those invited to the ball would not be able to speak for the majority of her subjects. They would be nobles, far too uptight and far too removed from the masses to know what they would truly need.

They were exactly the kind of people the princess tried very hard to avoid when she went on her rounds throughout the towns and met with people of all walks of life.

The Princess was very dedicated to living out her goal of being a fair and just leader. From the moment she turned 16, she made it a point to immerse herself in the lives of those who relied on her for, well, everything. Though, much of the fire under her had to do with the initials etched into the trunk of a tree that stood tall and proud by the banks of the river.

Her reaction to the news of the ball, however, wasn’t appreciated by her governess. Not that she needed a governess anymore, but Y/N would always be grateful for the strong and steady presence that Minerva had been her whole life.

“Oh don’t look at me like that,” she defended, crossing her arms over her chest, “Even you know how useless these kinds of things are.”

Minerva merely shook her head and tried to look stern, “Yes, well, it is tradition, at least try and enjoy yourself. You are not expected to speak with investors and nobles all night, and there will be many opportunities to eat and to dance!”

“As long as my corset isn’t too tight, I think I can manage an evening with the snooty elite.”

“My dear I hope you know that you are a part of the snooty elite.”

True to her word, Y/N managed to get through several conversations without any sarcastic remarks or backhanded compliments. In fact, she found herself enjoying the party much more than she had anticipated. The music was lovely, the food phenomenal, and she daresay her dress was absolutely stunning.

She was fetching herself a drink when a familiar voice spoke next to her, “Well don’t you clean up nicely, sweetheart.”

“Lord Black!” the princess exclaimed, turning to him and letting out one of the few genuine smiles of the night. “I wasn’t aware you were going to be attending the ball! If I did, I would’ve stuck by your side the moment I entered.”

The older man’s eyes crinkled at the compliment and he leant in for a warm hug.

Sirius Black was one of the only aristocrats that the Princess actually held a fondness for. The moment the pair met at one of the first few meetings the King and Queen had allowed her to attend, Y/N knew that he was of the right sort.

He came from very very old money, but once his parents had passed and he was given access to the Black fortune and title, he began to make very good changes wherever he could. He was a silent investor in many business ventures, and more often than not, the businesses he chose to support would end up flourishing.

“Anything new and exciting to tell me about?” Y/N asked, taking a sip of her sickly sweet champagne.

Sirius’ eyes lit up at the question, “I met a very promising pair of brothers–twins, actually. Their minds are as sharp as a knife, and they’ve got the most absurd ideas! Brilliant, but absurd. I think they can make it work.”

“I’m excited to hear more about them, then.”

The pair spent a good amount of time chatting away, seeking refuge at one of the emptier tables and settling. This was a great compromise for the Princess, who was hitting two birds with one stone as she spoke to someone she enjoyed the company of as well as someone who was a part of the ‘snooty elite’.

He spoke about his godson and how he was learning to walk and absolutely terrorizing his parents. In return, she told him about how the coronation planning was driving her up the wall. It felt good to be this open and genuine with someone, especially at a function like the one they were attending.

Sirius was in the middle of an exciting anecdote about Harry’s adventures with his mother’s makeup when Y/N caught a glimpse of fiery red hair.

Her heart stopped and leaped simultaneously in her chest.

As if they were being pulled by a magnet, her eyes focused solely on the familiar silhouette weaving in and out of the crowd. Her tunnel vision allowed her to see him and only him, and her mind began to go on overdrive.

“Princess?”

She barely registered the older man calling out to her, too distracted by the thought of seeing him again. Of being in the same place as him again. Of finally speaking the words she held in her heart for years to him.

“Excuse me for a moment,” was all she managed to get out.

Y/N could hear her blood rushing to her ears as she pushed through the, frankly too many, people in the way of her and her best friend. She didn’t care if she wasn’t behaving in a way that a Queen-to-be should be behaving, she didn’t care about any niceties at the moment. The last few years for her were spent almost completely alone, without her favorite redhead by her side, and she would be damned if she was going to let this opportunity slip through her fingers.

If she was being honest, time hadn’t done much to settle the grief she felt over the Weasleys moving away. Every little thing had reminded her of Fred and she was ashamed to admit that she wasn’t as open to new relationships–or friendships–because of the lingering feelings she harbored for the twin.

But now, now she had the chance to finally speak to him after so long. To feel the familiar comfort of his presence, to be herself and not have to worry about being the perfect royal that she was expected to be.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

Y/N could see Fred, he was right there, only a few steps away with his back turned to her. He was laughing at something the person he was speaking to had said, his whole body shaking with unabashed glee. Someone in front of him called out her name as they saw her approach and she watched as he froze for a fraction of a second before turning on his heel.

Their eyes met and she paused mid-step.

The world was coated in molasses now, everything around her moving haltingly slow as they saw each other for the first time in years. All other things in the room melted away as he stepped forward, and suddenly he was standing right in front of her.

“Hi,” she breathed.

“Hi,” he replied, charmile smile and all, “I told you we’d find each other again, didn’t I?”

Y/N let out a small laugh, still in shock that Fred was really in front of her. His arms wrapped around her torso in a tentative hug, and she spared no time clinging on to him with a ferocity that surprised even her. It was almost as if she was trying to convince herself he was really and truly there. Luckily for the princess, he had no qualms with how tightly she was gripping onto him.

When she finally eased her hold, he held out his arm. “Care for a dance, Princess?”

“I’d love to.”

All eyes were on them as they walked onto the dance floor, clearly not just another pair among the others. Still, Y/N only had eyes for the man in front of her. Her eyes scanned over his features, taking note of the things that changed and the things that didn’t.

Fred was still her Fred, just older now, more confident. He had an air around him that wasn’t there the last time she saw him. It was a pleasant surprise, though, seeing him so sure of himself as he spun her around.

Music flowed around them as Y/N was dipped and twirled. She had never felt more like royalty than she had in that moment, dancing with Fred Weasley, her hand in his. Everything around them seemed to melt away as they moved through the dance floor, eyes locked and bodies pressed together.

Even when the music paused and they left the dancefloor, their hands remained intertwined.

Slowly, those in attendance began to make their leave. Some passed by the Princess to say their goodbyes and politely thank her for the night, but most knew better than to interrupt her time with someone who was clearly quite important to her.

Y/N had never been more thankful for the night to be ending.

“Didn’t know you were so popular, Y/N” Fred teased after another nobleman bid her goodnight.

“I am a Princess after all,” she replied, watching the man leave.

“And a damn good one, I’ve heard.”

She turned to look at him, “Been asking around about me, have you?”

The look he gave her nearly made her swoon. It was full of affection and admiration, taking the princess off guard.

Instead of answering, he merely cocked his head in the direction of the exit, saying “Fancy a walk through the grounds? I hear it’s been decorated quite beautifully for the night.”

After spending so much time packed in a crowded room, it was a welcome relief to be in the cool evening air. True to Fred’s word, the gardens looked spectacular. Lights glittered through every little nook and cranny, the soft trickling of water from the fountains filling the air. It felt like something from a fairytale.

The pair of them walked together in a peaceful silence, sneaking glances at each other every once in a while. It wasn’t until they found themselves in front of the old weeping willow that they paused.

“Remember this place?” Fred chuckled, his eyes scanning over the draping branches covered in glittering lights.

“How could I forget?”

For the first time that night since they had seen each other, Y/N let go of Fred’s hand. She gently moved aside the curtain of leaves in front of them and stepped into their childhood sanctuary. Fred had to take a moment just to take in the sight of her, a vision in the midst of a sea of stars.

His heart stuttered in his chest.

“Do you remember what we promised each other here?” he asked again, eyes shifting to the trunk behind her.

“It’s on my mind more often than not,” she admitted, feeling heat creep up her neck.

If he noticed how flustered she got, he didn’t comment. Instead, he said, “Me too.”

Y/N was right in front of the trunk now, running her fingers over the indented wood. Nimble digits pausing when they brushed over their initials. Fred couldn’t see her expression, but he could tell that there were many things running through her mind at that moment.

“I think I’ve held up my end of the bargain,” his voice filled the quiet air, “George and I have a rather successful shop in town, if I do say so myself.”

The Princess turned around to face him with a smile, her back to the tree, “I think I’m on my way to fulfilling mine.”

As they spoke, their bodies slowly inched towards each other, magnets unable to stay away. The air around them was charged, pushing the two together bit by bit. Soon, they were toe to toe, breaths mingling and eyes locking.

“I think,” Fred whispered, “I think I’m going to fulfill another dream of mine tonight.”

Time froze as his face dipped close enough for their lips to brush. Y/N let out a soft gasp as he drew close, body abuzz with nervous energy and skin alight with every touch. Fred was there to ease her mind, though, with warm hands at the small of her back and soft lips gently pressing against hers.

She felt herself melting into his arms, melting into the kiss as if it was what she was born to do. Nothing else seemed to matter at that moment.

Like waves finding their way back to the shore, crashing into each other the way only the ocean could, somehow Y/N always knew that Fred would always find his way back to her. The mere thought of it brought a smile to her face and she laughed as he kissed into her smile. Once, twice, three times.

“You are my dream,” Fred whispered once they broke apart, both of them sharing the same dopey grins.

“And you are mine,” she replied, pressing her palm to his heart.

–

The clock tower had already struck midnight when Princess Y/N and Fred decided to make their way back to the castle. The night was far too short for their liking, but it comforted them to know that they had the next day (and the next and the next, and so on) for them to spend with each other.

Their pace remained leisurely as they walked through the familiar place. The castle seemed brand new to the princess now. It was coated in a new light as she looked at it with fresh eyes and a happy heart. She came to the realization that the years spent apart from Fred were far too silent and still without him. Now that she had him by her side, the halls seemed to be filled with happiness and light.

The laughter echoing through the halls and the adrenaline pumping through her as they tried to remain unseen was a welcome feeling. It was familiar, almost intimate in a way. She was thrown back to when they were little and Fred had started teaching her about all the different secrets and passageways the castle had to offer.

“This way, Princess!” a young boy’s voice whisper-yelled to Y/N’s right.

She spun towards the direction of the sound to see Fred pulling aside a large tapestry. Behind it was a hallway she had never seen before. Her eyes widened at the sight, but she did not hesitate to duck into it.

“How did you ever find this place?” she asked, eyes scanning the narrow but comfortable passageway, “And where does it lead to?”

“I spend a lot of time running away from mother,” Fred shrugged. That earned him a laugh from the princess and he let himself feel smug. “This is a shorter way back up to your room, if you’re ever in a hurry.”

Now, instead of shortcuts and easy ways to get from one place to the other, the pair found themselves taking their time. Fred would tug on her hand and bring them into an empty alcove, stealing kisses and sharing soft smiles. His body was warm, a comforting presence beside hers, and Y/N found herself leaning against his side more often than not.

By the time they found themselves outside the Princess’ chamber doors, they were giggling like little children, running away from governesses and mothers.

Y/N’s back was pressed against the door suddenly as Fred’s body enveloped hers in a searing kiss. Her heart beat erratically in her chest as her hands found themselves clutching at his coat.

Then, as quick as he had come, Fred pulled away with a smirk, “Until we see each other next, Princess?”

She scoffed, “If you think I don’t have the resources to track you down and kill you for saying that, you’re wrong.”

“I’m only joking,” he grinned and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her to him once again, “We always find our way back to each other, don’t we?”

The princess rolled her eyes, but he could see the edges of her lips trying–and failing–not to quirk up.

BONUS

Sirius watched as the Princess hastily stood up from her seat next to him and hurried off in the direction of Fred Weasley. The same Fred Weasley he had been working with for the past few months.

He tried not to stare, but it was too tempting not to. His eyes followed the girl as she deftly wove through the throng of people–people who tried to grab her attention to no avail. It was clear that she had a goal in mind and she wouldn’t stop until she got what she wanted.

He watched as they locked eyes, as they shared identical smiles, as they glided through the dance floor and eventually made their way towards the gardens. It was almost ridiculous how elated he felt at the sight.

The chair beside him made a sound as it was pulled back and he turned to see who had taken a seat beside him. Sirius tried to ignore the man next to him, the man who gave him nothing but a smug smile, but it was useless.

“Enjoying yourself?” he asked, lips quirking slightly.

“I think you owe me a few galleons,” Remus replied, looking very pleased. He cleaned up quite well in his navy blue suit, and Sirius had to hold back from causing a scene in the middle of a very prestigious ball just so that he could show Remus how much he loved him.

Sirius rolled his eyes fondly, “So quick to judge the events that transpired this evening, Moony.”

The look his husband gave him was enough for him to dig into his pockets for a few of the gold coins. Remus held out his hand, opening and closing it in front of him smugly.

“You know,” Sirius said as he pressed the money into Remus’ palm, “When I made a bet against you, saying I was positive that the woman Fred was in love with was not the Princess, I really thought I was going to win.”

Remus pressed a kiss on his cheek and smiled, “Never bet against me, love, you’re never going to win.”

Series Taglist: @prismarts @snoopydoop1 @the-romanian-is-bae @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @manuosorioh @daltonacademia

General taglist: @expectoevans @george-fabian-weasley @gxthsanrio @slytherinscribbles @harpyloon @nuttytani @mesmerisedangel @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @lumos-barnes @cherryweasleys @writingsomewrongs @the-unmanaged-mischief @mrzweasley @inglourious-imagines @pr3ttysw33t @amrtxntias @miraclesoflove @thatlonelyalto

Weasley twins taglist: @pineapplesandpinas @papapapadumb @a-castle-of--glass @hey-there-angels @leovaldez37 @pinkypurplemagic @werewolfslut @surprizeshawtyy @oldschoolkiddo @gcdricreads @turtletaylor98 @secret-obsessions @weaslxyss @serendiipty @nojamsonmytoast @famdomhideout @georgeweasley19 @asuperconfusedgirl @loonylovegood13 @lumielikesbooks @nanahachikyuu @freds-slut @theweasleytwinsgirl @ghost3rr @littlemisswitt @astoria-malfcy @weasleysprofessionalhoe @freddie-weaselbee @daydreamgirl8 @jubilee-the-flying-dragon-pirate

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prorevenge · 4 years ago

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Cousin tries to steal my mother's inheritance

The whole story was a few years ago and is very convoluted. In order not to write a novel here, I try to keep things clear and as short as possible. If some things are incomprehensible, I am happy to submit updates upon request.

Yes, we were too trustworthy and in retrospect we should have done more earlier.

The story begins in the early 90s when my parents got divorced. My mother had been given custody of me and my older sister by the court. We moved into my maternal grandmother's house. The house was built by my grandfather in the 50's and had never been renovated. There were 2 apartments in the house. One apartment on the ground floor and one on the 1st floor. My grandma lived in the lower apartment. But even though it was actually too small for a woman with 2 teenage children in the upper apartment, my mother initially wanted us to see the house as 2 separate households. It took my grandma some time to convince my mother to consider the house as a whole as not my grandmothers, but ours.

My mother and grandma decided not only to renovate the house, but also to refurbish it. But before that could happen, something important had to be clarified.

Because my grandfather had built the house and he died without writing his last will, the house was not legally owned by my grandmother at the time, but belonged in part to my mother and her sister (let's call her Estelle)

My grandma bought Estelles share.

The 40-year-old stove heating was replaced by a floor heating that was modern at the time, windows were renewed, old pipes and cables were replaced and much more. My mother put all of the money my father gave her after the divorce into the house. Among other things, she paid off an old loan that was still on the house.

In order not to repeat my grandfather's mistake, the three made a will. The share in the house that belongs to my grandmother should go to my mother after her death, as she lived in the house and contributed significantly to its value through her investment. Estelle should get a large amount of money and everything else my grandma owns should be divided equally between the two.

Fast forward to 2015. My mother had retired and took care 24/7 of her mother, who is suffering from dementia. The alternative of putting my grandma in a nursing home was out of the question for us. As long as it was somehow possible, my mother wanted my grandma to stay in the house that she built with her husband and that she called home. I haven't lived in the house for a long time, but I still visited whenever I could to relieve my mother of work. But these opportunities are few and far between, as I live and work around 2 hours away by car. So I was all the more pleased that my mother got help with housework for a few hours a week. This domestic help (let's call her Nadine) is the girlfriend of Estelles son Tim.

When Tim was a Teenager he had fallen out with his father and most of our family had very few contacts with him. He showed up once a year, called on our grandmas’ birthday and on Christmas. For over 20 years, he was, besides these 3 occasions, basically nonexistent.

Nadine works full time in a nursing home. After having been in the hospital for a few days, my grandma was supposed to be in that very nursing home for a while. The insurance companies offer this option so that caregiving relatives should be able to recover for a few days themselves and my mother really needed the break.

But my mother was not granted this break. On the second day, in her demented confusion, she crawled under her room neighbor's bed and did not let the nursing staff lure her out from under it. Nadine then called Tim, who came by. While playing hide and seek, my grandma was slightly injured and was taken back to the hospital. After that, she refused to go back to the nursing home, and my mother gave in and took her home.

In the next few months, it was 2016 then, Tim appeared once a week to, as he said, “take care of grandma”. This “taking care” consisted of going to Grandma, who was sitting in her TV chair, holding her hand, asking if everything was okay and driving off 15 minutes later.

At this point I would like to emphasize again that my mother has basically sacrificed herself since 2011 to look after her mother in need of care. She never moved more than 50 meters from my grandma without someone to take her place. Both my grandmother's doctor and the official auditors in charge of the nursing service had certified my mother that my grandmother was doing great under her supervision.

Estelle's birthday was in March. My mother told me later that Estelle had advised her in a conversation that she should put some money aside for the time when Grandma is no longer there.

Nadine celebrated his birthday in July. Since my grandmother was again spending a few days in short-term care at that time so that my mother could recover a little, Tim offered to pick up grandma for the party.

And in August the mood changed.

Estelle expressed concern that my grandma's confusion was really dementia and instead suggested that grandma was in her condition because of poor care from my mother. Tim was increasingly aggressive towards my mother. In a conversation I insisted on participate, he accused my mother of embezzling my grandmother's money and evading taxes. And although I am a peace-loving person, I lost my composure a little and I was only a blink away from beating him.

After we calmed down again, I suggested that instead of just coming by for 15 minutes a week and spreading accusations, he should really take care of Grandma and look after her for a week at a time.

He agreed.

Two weeks later, Tim and Tim's brother appeared with his family and picked up Grandma for a visit to a fair.

When they came back they told my mother that they had ordered a new TV chair for Grandma and that my mother should pay for it with her money. The reason was that my mother “lived rent-free in Grandma's house” and practically doesn’t do anything. Since my grandmother was so “gracious to take in a mother and her two children” she was entitled to the money, my mother supposedly saved on rent.

A few weeks later my mother had an appointment and asked Estelle to take care of Grandma during that time. When she came back there was also a note on the table. Estelle had taken grandma with her to look after her. First a week to try out.

The joy that my mother had about the free time she gained quickly vanished when it turned out two days later that Estelle took the opportunity to go to her bank with my grandmother to revoke my mother the right to access my grandmother's account. We only found out about it by accident.

A few days later Estelle appeared accompanied by Tim, his two siblings and their families and got clothes, jewelry and everything valuable that my grandmother owned. They said that my grandma wanted to stay with Estelle now because she couldn't stand my mother anymore.

The mood between my mother and grandma had deteriorated noticeably in the months since the first stay at the nursing home. At first, we assumed that the dementia was getting worse.

A few days later, 9 people came to my mother's home. Including my grandmother, Estelle, Tim, Ts. siblings and their family. When my mother was about to let 2 visitors out of the door, one of the group stormed through the open front door, pushing my mother and sister aside and demanding that they leave the (lower) apartment immediately. They supposedly had no right to be there and are only allowed to stay in the upper apartment.

A neighbor saw the incident and called the police. The group convinced the police that my mother actually lived in the apartment upstairs and had no right to be downstairs. To this day I still don't understand why the policeman accepted it that way. In any case, he asked my mother to leave the lower apartment until the matter was legally clarified. The police then disappeared. The group then took the opportunity to exchange the lock and searched the apartment for incriminating material that they could use against my mother. Unsurprisingly, they didn't find anything. My mother hadn't done anything wrong.

The day after, my mother went to see a lawyer to give her access to the home again. After a week back and forth, my relatives agreed to let my mother back into the apartment.

They cleared the furniture out of the apartment beforehand, because they thought it belonged to my grandmother, and switched back to the old locks.

Since they were 9 again and my mother had a nervous breakdown from the whole affair anyway and was on the verge of the 2nd, I wanted to receive the key in her place. However, they insisted that my mother personally collect the key.

Since I could already imagine why my relatives insisted of being in a group of 9 to give the key to a 70 year old woman personally, I had an idea. I picked up my smartphone in a clearly visible position and activated the recording function.

As I expected, most of them noticed my cell phone and remained silent. All except my grandma. Although she could hardly see anything, she recognized me and wanted to talk to me. She accused me and my mother of plotting against her. That she always supported me and she couldn't understand how we could do that to her. It broke my heart to hear what monsters my mother and I had become in her mind. But I knew that this was the dementia talking. I listened patiently and tried to explain what she had misunderstood, but I also knew that she had sunk too far in her illness to convince her of the truth.

One of the allegations in that conversation was that my mother and I wanted her out of the house. As already written that was not the case. But I have to be grateful today that my grandma said that. Estelle was sitting next to her at the time and reflexively replied "It wasn't him, the others."

At the time, I was too fixated on my grandma that I hadn't even noticed. Fortunately, I had my phone in my hand the whole time. When I listened to the conversation a while later, it finally clicked and I could slap myself today for not noticing it earlier:

Since the incident at the nursing home, the mood between my mother and grandma had deteriorated noticeably. We had blamed it on dementia, but now it was clear to us that in her condition between dementia and the strong painkillers she was taking, my relatives had talked her into believing some conspiracy against her.

My mother then applied for guardianship for my grandma. In Germany it is regulated in such a way that it is first checked whether the care is necessary. That was a relatively straightforward matter.

Then a judge has to check whether there is a possibility that a relative will take over the guardianship. This test was an on-site appointment at Estelle

As I could deduct from the court papers, the judge was of the opinion relatively quickly that family-internal guardianship was not possible. The decisive factor was apparently, among other things, the aggressive behavior of my relatives towards my mother, whereby the judge was almost injured with a burning cigarette.

Mrs. G. was declared to be my grandmother's guardian. A few weeks after Mrs. G. took over her job, she paid my mother a visit.

Ms. G. said that she was amazed when she met my mother for the first time. After all, she wasn't the hell spawn my relatives described her. We learned that Estelle's family had apparently spread wild rumors about my mother in town. We also learned that apparently my grandmother's set up a new will.

Since my mother lives in a small town, it didn't take long to find out that Tim was named the sole heir in the new will. Nadine had said the same to a friend and if you know someone who knows someone…. Small town.

My grandma died in July 2017. Shortly afterwards, I drove to the court to deposit my grandma's will there so that it could take effect. The lady there said there would already be another recent will. I still insisted on depositing the old one.

The will was opened a few weeks later. We saw for the first time what we are dealing with.

The new will was drawn up by a notary which is normally better than a handwritten will from over 20 years ago. In the will, Tim is established as the sole heir with Estelle in the 2nd position (in the event that Tim would have died before my grandmother). Not a word about the fact that part of my mother's house already belonged to her, instead she was only given a right to live in the upper apartment. But the real shock came when we saw the date. The will was written in July 2016. On the day when Tim and Estelle had so generously agreed to pick up Grandma from the nursing home. When they were still trying to pretend everything was fine and their “only concern was Grandma's well-being”.

I made an appointment with an inheritance lawyer. The lawyer first wanted to convince my mother to only sue for her legal inheritance claim and to otherwise accept the will. Challenging a notarial will is one of the most difficult cases you can try in German courts and it takes a lot of evidence to do that.

My time to shine. It took me almost an hour to convince the lawyer that my grandma had dementia and that the new will is therefore invalid. Doctor's reports that certify dementia back in 2011. The report for the guardianship. Every minute I presented her with new documents and in the end she is ready to go into battle with us.

So the matter goes to court, which means that the lawyers write letters back and forth. In one of the letters, Tim's lawyer mentions that there is an assessment from a doctor A. that clearly confirms that my grandma did not have dementia. That would contradict the evidence I submitted to my lawyer. So the court commissioned a new, independent expert assessment.

Although I had a lot of evidence and the behavior of my grandmother was always a clear sign of dementia for me, we waited a little nervously for the assessment.

We receive the assessment and what can I say, I haven't read anything so beautiful and sad at the same time for a long time. It is sad because the expert quotes from many reports that describe what my grandma was going through after she was brought to Estelles house. Nice because the appraiser completely dismantled the other side's argument. For every argument that the other side has come up with by then, the appraiser has evidence to invalidate it. Most impressive is the fact that the alleged report by Doctor A. is completely worthless to the other side. On the contrary, the doctor was so incompetent that he accidentally not only failed to refute my grandmother's dementia, he even confirmed it.

So there is a court date. The appraiser, Doctor A. and the notary who wrote the will are present.

A. is given the opportunity to defend his "report" before the judge. And he only makes it worse. It is going too far to explain that now. In any case, A. made it clear to the judge that he had no idea how to carry out the test.

Then it's the notary's turn. When he testified, it turns out that there were 2 appointments with him and my grandma. And in their attempt to look particularly good in front of the judge, Estelle and Tim admit that they were both present at both appointments. Not only that, apparently the conversation and further coordination between the notary and my grandmother went completely through Estelle’s hands.

The trial ends and my mother's lawyer is overjoyed. She explains to me that if there were any doubts that the new will does not reflect the will of my grandma, these are finally resolved by the statement of the notary.

A few days later, the judge gives the verdict and it's even better than expected.

The house was awarded to my mother.

Tim is no longer entitled to even one cent from my grandma's inheritance.

All claims that Estelle could still make against my mother, i.e. both the stated sum of money from the old will and possible claims under the law, are offset against what was in his possession at the time of my grandma's death. So she has some old furniture, clothes, some jewelry, etc. And what it looks like so far, that means that's all she can hope for.

tl;dr My cousin tried to cheat my mother out of her inheritance. Didn't work out for him in the end.

(source) story by (/u/Sam_Ronin)

#prorevenge #by /u/Sam_Ronin #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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gilded-green · 3 years ago

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Eeeeeeee!!! Congrats on ten years!! I am having FEELINGS about this! All of your OCs are my favourites and I am so grateful for Stingrae’s support. I would commit CRIMES for a rewrite of GG, but mostly I want to know whether you have any favourite things you want to share? <3 <3 <3

Thank you Polly!!!! <3<3<3

We all owe Stingrae so much I stg.

I would also probably commit crimes for a rewrite of GG but frankly that’d still involve me having to WRITE it so idk if it’d help. XD

Oh jeez MY favorite things??? Uhhhh okay let’s see...

The fact that I am STILL loving this story and very devoted to it even after years, many of which were just radio silence. I knew that I was the slow and steady type, but it’s nice to have confirmation. XD

The fact that when I started writing this fic I was younger than Lu Ten is at the beginning, and now I am older than he’ll be at the end. Jk that’s not a favorite thing it’s just a pathetically hilarious thing forgive me lol. XD

I think I was one of the first people to say “actually Lu Ten would kind of be an imperialist jerk” long before I knew the term “imperialist”

ALL THE HISTORY AND CULTURAL THINGS I’VE LEARNED FROM RESEARCHING FOR MY FICS. I learned a lot of history as a kid but good curriculums on Chinese history just didn’t EXIST back then, or at least didn’t exist in the homeschooling catalogs my mother was able to access, so it’s really nice to have a hobby that also helps me learn stuff.

Huang and Wu Sheng. I love them so much and I’m very proud of them and how they always catch new readers’ attention because they are NOT what you’d expect of Dai Li agents. I can’t wait to expand upon them and their backstories in upcoming fics.

Shirong, and how people can’t decide if they love him or hate him or relate to him or all of them at once. XD

The fact that, ten years later, people have FINALLY STOPPED ASKING ME if I took Shirong from a certain other fic, because the idea of different writers looking at the same baby name lists is a foreign concept :P

Literally everything about the Preservation Branch, I’m so proud of my dumb museum guards

The fact that it’s been so long since I first wrote GG and I’ve written so much other stuff since then that a lot of things people REALLY wanted elaboration on back in the day (Enlai, Huang and Wu Sheng) have kinda fallen to the wayside. I get a lot more questions about Nanyue and the Dai family now. The passage of time sure is funny!

Just the fact that I was actually able to write Gilded Green at all. Like. It’s hard to explain. But I had to grow into my writing. Or my writing style, or approach to writing...idk what to call it. But this thing I do? With the worldubilding? And the OCs? And just the careful web of....stuff? I always wanted to do that, even as a kid, I grew up on massive stories like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings with crazy worldbuilding backgrounds and deep meanings and elaborate politics and I could not figure out how to tell stories like that myself. I remember being 12 years old staring at a bunch of concepts for an original fantasy idea I had and realizing that I had no idea how to make them work because I was too young to understand how the world worked. I remember deciding to shelve that whole story because I realized I didn’t even know what I didn’t know. Tolkien and Star Wars didn’t really explain how the worldbuilding happened, it was just THERE and I couldn’t figure out how to make it appear for myself, it wasn’t exactly easy for a child to figure out. Sometimes I envy kids these days who’re growing up with, like, Elena of Avalor, that show lays out some FANTASTIC political responsibility concepts in ways kids can understand, I could’ve used that as a kid. I was also crap at understanding how people actually interact with each other and just....had all these issues with figuring out how to make a story work, not at the writing level, but on a my-understanding-of-the-universe level, which was kinda humbling and also kinda scary. And some of that was youth, and some of that was undiagnosed ADD making it so that I just didn’t Get Things, but either way when I tentatively started writing GG and realized that wait, I think it’s making sense, and the characters are interacting and it’s not weird, and I think I’m GETTING it, omg, AM I GETTING IT??? That was a great feeling, even if it did feel like I was balancing on a tightrope.

ALSO the way in which you can KINDA track me slowly going from raised-in-a-conservative-Christian-environment to WELP-I’m-queer-and-pretty-progressive-now over the course of my writing, tho that may be hard to see if you don’t know what you’re looking at. I can see it tho, lol. I was fortunate in that my upbringing was just kinda incidental because my mother was too tired to consider any other approach to life, and as time went on my family all actually grew into very different, much better people. I was kind of the trailblazer in that regard tho (not fun) and frankly it was fanfiction that helped me get over my queerphobia and internalized misogyny, and it was the racebending protests that cropped up around The Movie That Shall Not Be Named that made me start to realize how racism actually worked and what cultural misappropriation was. If you squint you MIGHT be able to make out where in my stories I started getting excited over my newfound beliefs and started frantically shaking more sexualities over my characters like “I have GOT to de-heteronormative-ize this” XD But yeah this fic has been a big part of my life and you can see me changing as a person if you know where to look.

MY OCs. The fact that my OCs win people over so well! I had a very volatile relationship with OCs in my youth - self-inserts were A Thing Of The Devil in fandom back then and were to be mocked. I was, I’m semi-sorry to say, part of that crowd - never flamed anyone directly, because I was raised to Not Be Mean, but I joined in on the mocking on private message boards. These days I look back on my youthful indiscretions with eye-rolling fondness, because I can now see how much internalized misogyny I was dealing with and I’m very much over the whole idea of Mary-Sues. But the community I was with did actually have a lot of GOOD writing advice as well, and it was a fun group of people, so I can’t fully regret my time there. When fandom drift eventually caused me to float away, I took those lessons on what made an OC annoying and useless with me, and when I started writing OCs of my own, I made sure to go in the opposite direction. It really seems to have paid off!

The fact that I’ve managed to collect a small but loyal following and see the same names popping up after I post something. I don’t think I could handle being a BNF, but knowing that I’ve got a dozen people who consistently read and enjoy my stuff? That’s so cool. <3

There’s a LOT of other stuff, really, but off the top of my head...here you go! <3

#GG tumblr escapades #GG 10th anniversary #caelum rambles

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years ago

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05/25/2021 DAB Transcript

2 Samuel 7:1-8:18, John 14:15-31, Psalm 119:33-48, Proverbs 15:33

Today is the 25th day of May welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today as we…as we lock in and buckle up and do what we do every day, take the next step forward on the journey that we have embarked on through the scriptures this year. And I guess we’re moved into 2 Samuel by now since we’re moving into chapter 7, but we’ve probably got the lay of the land. 2 Samuel is dealing with the life of David, whereas 1 Samuel was dealing with the life of Saul. And as we’re dealing with both of these people there are sharp contrasts, and we can find things about ourselves in both of these men. And now we’re focusing on David who is king of all Israel at this point and is Israel’s 2nd king. And, so, we pick up the story in Samuel chapters 7 and 8.

Commentary:

Okay. So, through the course of our year so far and even recently we’ve talked about the boxes that get made to stuff God in so that we can have a better understanding of God but He’s bigger than the box and He won’t fit in the box. And, so, that kinda…kinda gets us disgruntled and we can’t figure out mystery. So, we’ve talked about these kinds of things that bring us tension on our journey of faith. We actually have a real God box described today in the Old Testament in the book of 2 Samuel. David is now firmly established as “the” king of Israel. There are now rivals, he is the king, and he has used that kingdom to subdue the enemies all around him so that there’s respect and peace around the nation. And David has had a very nice palace built and gifted to him. And, so, he lives in this nice palace. Basically, he’s able to slow down a little bit and look around that all that he has and all that he’s in control of and he has this rev…revelation, this sort of realization that his nation is in good shape, he’s in good shape, he has everything he could dream of but…but God, the Lord God who made all this possible still lives in the same tent that He’s been living in, the tabernacle, since…since the time of Moses. And, so, actually from a good place in David’s heart he’s thinking, you know, he’s making this comparison and thinking “I have it better than God. Like, I have been blessed with so much here and then the Lord is living in a tent and we need to make God a spectacular home to live in. This box, this walled in area, this temple for God to live in.” And David shares that with the Prophet Nathan who’s like, “yeah, if that’s in your heart than do what’s in your heart.” But that wasn’t what was in God’s heart. That’s the thing. And, so, God’s speaks to Nathan who then comes back to David and this is where we get this…this kind of God box description. Through Nathan the prophet, God says to David, “are you the one to build a house for me to live in? I have not lived in a house from the day I brought the people of Israel up out of Egypt until today. I have been moving around in the tent and the dwelling. I have traveled everywhere with all the people of Israel. Did I ever speak a word to any of the judges of Israel whom I commanded to shepherd my people or ask them, ‘why have you not built a house of cedar for me?’” I think this is really interesting because what God is saying is, “you know, you’re not gonna put Me in a box. I am out and among the people where I have always been. Everywhere you’ve gone I’ve gone with you and led you. That’s how this works.” Now as we know, Solomon, David’s son, the next king who we haven’t met yet, he will be given permission to build a permanent temple. And he actually will bring Israel to its finest…finest hour. But it’s interesting to just sit there and look at David, look at what he might be thinking realizing how blessed he is, how fortunate. I mean he has had his share of struggle. So…and so there is no way that he can’t appreciate where he is now. Running…he was running for his life from cave to cave and now he’s the king. And he knows that this only happened at the hand of God. And he looks around at all he has and in his good heart wants to build something even bigger for God. And isn’t that kind of what we do? Like God has blessed me and I need to build something big for God and we start thinking along those lines. And man, it gets mixed motive.…our motives get mixed really, really quick. Cause we’re gonna build this big thing and people are gonna see us build this big thing and so we’re gonna get the notoriety and the performance value for building this big thing for God. And maybe God doesn’t want that thing built. Maybe He’s just fine being out and among the people. What exactly would we conceive of building for God that just on the face of it is gonna be so impressive that God becomes speechless? I’m mean we’re talking about the Being who spoke the world into existence. So, what are we going to build for God? That really, really checks our…our motivations. That really, really checks why we would try to do some of the things that we try to do. What we ultimately find out as we continue the journey through the…the bible is that we are the temple of God and God indwells us and is everywhere that people are, He’s within us and among us and hovering around us. So, He doesn’t really need the box. It’s we…we seek out the box so we can say, “there…there is God, that’s where God is, that’s what God does, that’s what God does not do. Whatever is not in that box is not of God.” So, what if we were to start realizing that we are that temple, that box, if we want to call it that? Are we open? Are we surrendered? Like are…are we available or are we a closed box and we just tell God who He is and what He does and doesn’t do all the time? We just quote scriptures back to Him like He’s forgotten or never really even knew what was in the bible. And we sing worship songs that describe for Him who He is as if He doesn’t know anymore. What kind of freedom would there actually be if we let go of all of that and said God is God, which is well, well, well beyond any possibility of my human understanding? Like, all of eternity, a billion, billion years from now I will still be learning new things about the Lord. So, I…I do not know what I think that I know. What kind of freedom would there be in just believing in faith that He loves us profoundly and wants to draw near and we don’t have to come up with a formula for that, we just have to draw near back? Think of the freedom in that, the freedom of being in a loving relationship. Let’s live into that today.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit come. We are so often trying to become aware of Your presence through our intellect when You remain beyond anything that we can conceive of. We only see glimpses and…and they’re so good that we want more, but it’s You who comes in Your kindness and graciousness to be among us. So, we want to experience You for who You are in the gentle, unhurried way of…of actual love, of actual relationship instead of us running around thinking of what we need to do to impress You or what we need to do to impress everybody else so it can seem as if we’re closer to You. We don’t need any of that. We just need intimacy with You. There’s nothing else that our heart…like this is what our hearts truly crave, and we fill it with all kinds of other stuff. And, so, forgive us for, even though we’re the temple of being a closed box that simply tries to control You. We pray this in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com, that’s home base, and that’s how to get connected and stay connected and find out what’s happening around here. So, check that out. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can access all of these things from there. There is a Drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner of the app and you hit that, and it pops open a drawer.

And, so, you can access things like the Community section, which is where the Prayer Wall lives as well as the Daily Audio Bible Shop where there are resources there for this journey. All kinds of stuff. We have the Daily Audio Bible journal in the Shop that we’ve developed over the years to be the perfect size to carry around. Like, it’s just the…the “the” journal that we’re using around here to journal in. Things to write in like the Black Wing pencil line. I love journaling with a pencil. That’s been going on for several years now. Everybody has their own preference but it’s a little old school to have a really great pencil and sharpen that pencil and write in your own hand, old school, in your own penmanship no matter how bad it might be, to say things. And I’ve journaled digitally in my life, I’ve done that, it’s just a different kind of process than just sitting down, sharpening a pencil and just kind of allowing what’s in your heart, what’s in your mind to flow out onto the page. It’s really, really helpful and the precedent is very much in the bible. We’re continually instructed to remember, remember what happened here, don’t forget God’s faithfulness and…and when we’re pouring that out on the page in our own hand it sure is nice to go back when things get foggy and it seems very unclear, to be able to go back and see, yeah, that thread is true. God has always been here and has always been faithful. And we begin to tell the story back to ourselves as we read through our journal. And it’s an incredible thing. So, stuff like that, resources like that are in the Daily Audio Bible Shop. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. And I can’t thank you enough other than to say what I say on a regular basis. This wouldn’t be happening if we weren’t in this together. That’s just a fact. And, so, I’m humbled and awed and grateful that we are on this journey and have been on this journey for these years. And I thank you with all of my heart for your partnership. So, yeah, there’s a link on the homepage. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996 Spring Hill, Tennessee 37174.

And as always if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit that Hotline button in the app, the little red button up at the top, you can’t miss it or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that’s it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I’ll be waiting for you here, tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi, good morning this is D from New York. I’m about a four-year listener and second time caller. My first call was early March when I, my husband, and my son were sick with COVID. And, so, this is a praise report to say that we’ve all recovered very well. Thank God and thank you for your prayers, especially Randal’s who I heard a couple of days after I recorded my prayer request. I’m also calling for Mom Tries. I just heard her prayer request. Congratulations on becoming a pro athlete, a pro triathlete. I totally understand the jitters and the nerves that you may be experiencing or maybe not quite since I’m not a pro athlete. I am a 66, 67-time marathoner, a novice triathlete and as an indoor athlete I totally understand, and I get it. And I pray that you perform well this weekend at that full Iron Man and know that all things, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. I’d like you to give us peace feedback and let us know how it went. Praying for you girl. You’re going to do wonderfully. Bye-bye.

Good morning DAB family this is Laura from Eugene, Oregon. I’m just calling in with a grateful heart this morning as I’m listening to the reading, as I listen to Brian’s commentary, to the prayer requests and the prayers being lifted up. Thank you each one of you. I am so so grateful to be a part of this Daily Audio Bible community. I just wanted to share an answered prayer. I called in a while back with a prayer request from my son’s mental health. He was really in a bad place and it’s always concerning with him and he is such in a better place now. Prayer is powerful. So, thank you. I just pray now that he can come to know the Lord again. He accepted the Lord as a child but he’s far away now. So, that’s where that true healing can happen. So, I just am praying and asking you to pray with me for his return to the Lord. His name is Andrew. And then I’m also asking prayer for my mom Alice who just received a cancer diagnosis this week. It was very unexpected, and we’re all in a little bit of shock and not knowing where to go next. So, of course we are turning to the Lord and I’m asking you for prayer for healing and for wisdom and discernment as we go forward and navigate this whole situation. Thank you DAB family. I am so grateful for each one of you and I love to pray for you. It’s my honor.

Hello this is Gods Tree From Many Branches But I Am Rooted in the Word of God. I’m calling because I feel like I needed to give some words of encouragement. About two years ago I called DAB desperate, crying, and upset because I got an announcement that my brother was suicidal, and the police were looking for him and everybody was looking for him and we didn’t know where he was, and I called you all immediately to start praying immediately for my brother. Praise God, we found him, and they were able to get him help, and he was… he had a total breakdown. He went through a total mental break, but God was able to restore him and get him to counseling he need and get him back on track. And it’s been two years later, and he is living happily. He is in love with the Lord, he is trusting God for everything in his life. He still has a lot of things that he needs to straighten out in his life, and he still beats himself up for things that he’s done but he knows God has given him grace and giving him mercy. And he has found joy and he’s found a purpose in life. And I wanted to give this encouragement to those who are struggling right now in dealing with depression and even suicidal thoughts. Bind the enemy and rebuke him in the name of Jesus because there is happiness after the darkness. You will find joy after weeping all night long. God is an awesome God, and He is the Keeper and I just want you to trust Him and believe it’s going to get better, take it from me. In Jesus’ name, I do pray for you. Amen.

Hi this is Victorious Soldier just calling pray for some of the DABbers. I want to pray for…for Keith and Grace the lady with her husband and her who was having some challenges. I’m gonna pray for you and your family. I wanna pray for Michael Rowing the Boat Ashore, just thank you for being a part of the DAB and continue to pray that God continue to bless you. Thank God for bringing you aboard and thank God for giving you some wonderful insight into His word. I wanna pray for Paperclip and Allison’s son. It’s so good to hear that. I didn’t realize you had a son. Thank God that you’re free and thank God that you’re there and just stay in the word. We’d love to hear from you. Tell Allison Shalom, Shalom. I wanna say, Shannon from Salem, praying for you in your classes, that suicide prevention is great. Prayerfully, with all the depression and everything that somebody will latch on and see that life is worth living and God would give ’em joy. Gracious Father we just lift you up. We praise you for the DABbers, we praise you for the light. I want to pray also for those who have lost their mothers or lost their fathers or are going through with their children with the depression and everything that’s going on Lord, we just ask You the names I call and the ones that are going through with the depression the one that’s going through with the COVID. Lord, we just ask You to have Your way. We thank You for our brother over…overseas who is doing better. We just lift you up. We praise Your name, Lord we just ask You to touch as only You can do. We ask You to speak the word Lord. We ask You to…to connect with them and let them feel You that You are there and I’m recognizing and acknowledge You that you can direct their path…

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cashbanct · 4 years ago

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THREE MINUTES THESIS I Kun

N/A - Thank you so much @neocrackheadtechno for requesting this ice cream. You wanted a professor Kun and I hope I wrote him right! I really liked writing this ice cream, Kun always makes me weak, he is so perfect. I hope you like it (:

Pairing – Professor!Kun x DoctorateStudent!Reader

Rating – 15+

Words Count - 3,022

Genre – Fluff, Heavy kissing

Warning – Some steamy kisses on the sofa but other than that, it’s only some fluff and a doctorate student being stressed and working.

Synopsis – Last year of studies for you to get your doctorate and you are beyond stressed as your university decided to change how doctorate presentation were going to be. But it’s alright, as your thesis professor comes to your rescue.

This is part of the Story Store stories.

Flavour: Bubble Gum: University/High School

Toppings: None

Share with: Kun

You were exhausted. Your head was resting on top of all your documents on your desk, your computer still on and the clock on your right was displaying 2:35 am.

But you couldn’t go to sleep, you simply couldn’t. As you were a doctorate student, finishing your last year in less than a month, you had to submit a thesis to your university in order to get your diploma. You picked your subject at the beginning of your first year and continued to work on it during those 3 years.

As a neurolinguistic student, your main topic was the Power of Languages on the Brain, and more precisely, the differences on the brain when someone becomes bilingual in their childhood versus their adulthood.

It was really interesting for you, and you loved finding new information, getting interviews from people, receiving brain images, and comparing them.

But after three years, three long years of working on the subject, you were mentally exhausted. You had to put all the information you got together to build up your essay.

You have done that already, as you had to submit your thesis couple of weeks ago. But then, it didn’t explain why you were like this. Why would you be exhausted if you had done all your work?

Well, you didn’t. Your professor adverted you a week ago that the presentation of your thesis, which would happen at the end of this month, changed a little bit. Instead of wanted to have a full presentation of your work in 20 minutes, they thought it would be interested in for students to resume their three years of work, in well, three minutes.

Three years in three minutes. Also known as your 3 minutes thesis.

You heard of it last year, as fellow of your now post doctorate friends passed it and told you that it was really hard. But they were in another university, so you didn’t think yours would do the same.

But they did. And you were now exhausted as you tried to pack all the most important information in less than 3 minutes. Only you didn’t succeed, as every time it exceeded 8 minutes.

As you read on your clock that it was now 3 am, you gave up. You went to bed, tired, stressed and just wanted this to be over with. How? You didn’t know yet.

When you woke up the next morning, you thought that it would be nice for you to work at the library for once instead of your bedroom. You were starting to get fed up of seeing the same four walls while stressing about what you had to do.

The library was really busy as every single student were preparing for their respecting exams. Fortunately, as a doctorate student, you had access to a quiet room in priority, making it easier to find a place to study in peace.

You managed to find one pretty quickly, as they weren’t a lot of professors or doctorate students yet because it was still early in the afternoon.

You took out all of your papers, your computer and your pen and got to work, again. You managed to reduce your thesis to 6 minutes, but it was still twice too long.

You were starting to lose your mind that you didn’t even notice that someone sat down in front of you until you heard your name being called. You raised your head and was face to face with Professor Qian, or as you know him better under his first name, Kun.

Professor Qian was your third-year doctorate professor. He got his doctorate diploma two years ago and was assigned to help last year doctorate students to prepare their thesis, as he did his not long ago. He was only three years older than you, and quickly during the year, even with staying professional during school hours, formalities were dropped between you two.

You were working nonstop in November in the library when he saw you and offered to read your work in order to help. You gladly took his offer and after a lot of evenings spent together, he became like a friend.

In his part at least.

Because in yours, you couldn’t stop the growing crush you developed over Kun. He was everything you ever loved in someone else.

He was helping, always understanding and reassuring. When you were starting to stress to much, he would speak in his deep and calm voice, telling you that it was going to be alright. He was really funny too when you took some rest from working, cracking jokes that made you laugh too loud for being appropriate in the library.

He was also very intelligent and had lots of knowledge. You would both sometimes talk about other topics than your classes or your thesis, and you couldn’t stop being mesmerized at everything Kun would explain to you.

You also learned that he was a great cook, as one time, you both ate lunch together. He had his lunch wrapped in his container, telling you what he cooked and making you taste it. You never had eaten something so good and he had laughed as you asked for one more bite.

To put in simple, Kun wasn’t a regular crush as you could have over the coffee shop guy or some artists you liked. No, the truth was that you were deeply in love with Kun, no more, no less.

You loved Kun, but you couldn’t do anything.

You had to remember that even if both of you had a great time talking in the library and sometimes outside, he was your teacher and you were one of his students. At least for now.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Kun asked with a smile, as you finally raised your head to look at him.

You managed to keep your face and emotions in control when you ever talk to him, at least on the outside. No one knew about your feelings and you preferred that it stayed that way.

“Dying, that’s what I am doing…” you answered as you showed him the pile of paper in front of you.

He shook his head. “Come on, I am sure you are doing great!” He said, a cheerful tone in his voice. “Show me what you did so far so we can see where to continue.”

You both went over everything once more and you were very grateful for his help. Having someone exterior to guide you and asking questions for you to understand where some parts were lacking made you work more effectively.

At the end of the afternoon, he told you that you both could meet next week to keep working on your thesis. And you did, meeting him every day for some time to go over every aspect that your jury would want you to say and explain.

However, one day, almost two weeks before your presentation day, Kun and you stayed until close hours at the library, and it wasn’t until you both went outside and were met with the dark sky that you realised how much time had passed.

“I’ll walk with you to your apartment, it’s too late. Is it alright with you?” He said as he checked the time.

You nodded, wanted to have his company for a little bit more. It wasn’t the first time he dropped you off at your place. Sometimes during the winter, when it would get dark earlier and you were both working late at the library, he would drive you back to your place.

But, it was the first time he walked there with you.

You both were in an animate conversation about some neurological terms and aspect when you noticed you arrived and were in front of your building.

Without even thinking twice about it, you asked him if he wanted to stay more to eat something because it was really late and you both didn’t eat dinner.

You didn’t think he would accept, but he did, and that’s how you both were looking in your almost empty fridge for something to eat.

“Ah, I am sorry, I didn’t go grocery shopping these days, I actually don’t have a lot to eat.” You said embarrassed.

He chuckled lightly. “It’s okay, look you have some tomatoes, some onions,…” he opened one cupboard on his right and found some cans and a packet of noodles. “and noodles.”

You laughed at the distraught face he made.

“Don’t worry, I usually call for take outs.” You tell him.

He shook his head, disapproving. “Take outs are not good in the long terms. I’ll cook you my go to noodles recipe.”

And he did.

You didn’t think that seeing a man in your kitchen could make you feel something but seeing Kun cooking for you effortlessly made your heart burst in your chest.

You took out some beers, the last ones you had, for both of you as you asked him if he wanted one and once the noodles were ready, you went to sit on your sofa to eat.

You both conversed for a long time, eating, and drinking in the same time, and you felt at ease. Talking with Kun was easy as he always had something interesting to say.

You listened to him talk, and talk, not taking you eyes away from his face, focusing on his lips moving. Even if you tried to look only at his eyes, his now red and plump lips from eating the spicy noodles were catching your eyes every time.

He then took a sip of his beer, distracting you from staring and you did the same. You saw his cheeks reddening.

“I talk to much, don’t I?” He said.

You shook your head quickly.

“No, you never speak too much, I love hearing your voice, it’s so mesmerizing.”

You paused, realising what you just blurred out. You were now the one who talked too much.

You were now both blushing and an awkward silence took place in the room.

“Thank you,” you heard him whisper delicately, “I like hearing you talk too.”

You felt yourself get warmer as you turned your head to stare at him. He was already looking at you, smiling so bright, his eyes disappearing slightly.

Just looking at him, sitting casually on your sofa in your apartment, drinking beer and eating with you made you create scenarios in your head. This scene was so domestic, as if you just both were living together and came home for work, talking about your day.

It was too much for you, but you loved it, and you secretly wish it were real.

You really wanted this to be real.

But maybe you could make it real.

As Kun leaned towards you slowly, seeing that you were deep in thoughts, you didn’t think twice more. Maybe the beer helped you made the action, but you didn’t mind.

You leaned forward too and kissed him.

At first, you didn’t really realised what you did, as your eyes were closed, and the only thing you could feel was his warm lips on yours. It’s only when you understood what you did and that he was not responding at all that you retreated, panicked.

You messed up. You just kissed your professor, and even if he won’t be anymore in a month, you still did it.

You opened your eyes, displaying probably the same shocked face as he was showing you right now.

“I am so sorry…” You started, your voice trembling slightly as you were mentally preparing yourself for Kun to yell at you or telling you that you did something wrong.

But neither of what you were thinking came true.

As you opened your mouth to add another apology, looking around to not meet his stare, you didn’t catch him move quickly towards you, taking your face between his hands to look at him.

The next action made your brain go blank as you felt his lips on yours.

He was now the one kissing you.

You couldn’t think about anything else as you kissed him back, putting as much passion in the kiss as him.

Soon, the kiss turned out into a full make out session without both of you realising it. As he took your bottom lips delicately between his lips, sucking on it slowly, you let out a quiet moan. His hands were on your hips, his thumbs caressing your skin under your shirt as your arms were locked behind his neck, your hands roaming in his hair, playing with it.

Your back was now pressing against the sofa as he was now on top of you, your tongues battling with each other for dominance.

Your breath was getting shorter, but you didn’t want it to stop. Your hands went under his shirt, wandered on his back and he took it as a sign to take it off.

He did it quickly, and you just had the time to take a quick glance of his naked torso until he was kissing you again.

Your shirt got discharged rapidly after without you even realising it.

It’s just when you felt his hands just under your chest as yours were just on top of his back jeans that you both stops and stared at each other.

You were both breathing really loud, trying to catch your breath.

“Wow.” Kun just said after he took a deep breath, “it escaladed quickly.”

You chuckled slightly as he went to grab his shirt and you did the same, putting it back on yourself.

“It did,” you paused then added, “but I liked it.”

He just nodded at you. “I did too.”

You looked at him and couldn’t stop thinking that he was really sexy with his hair a mess from your fingers and his lips even plumper and redder than before from your make out session.

You were sure you looked like him right now, and you couldn’t stop your cheeks from getting warm.

“You know,” he told you quietly and you caught him already staring at you, smiling sweetly, “I have been waiting for a long time to do this.”

You looked at him surprised, “did you? Really?”

He nodded once more, than shook his head as not believing at what he was going to reveal you. “I actually have had noticed you since your first day of your doctorate.” He smiled, lost in his souvenirs. “You were so determinate to work on your thesis, and as a fresh graduate, knowing how painful it is, I couldn’t stop thinking that I looked like you when I started. But, you never gave up, always looking for more, always interesting in going further. I really admired you and when I got to be your professor this year, when I got to know you for who you were, outside of work related, I didn’t know that I was missing someone like you in my life.”

“Someone like me?”

“Yes,” he chuckled lightly, “someone like you. Someone hard-working, open minded, who pays attention to every details. You are the only one who saw I was not feeling good last year around the holidays, even my friends didn’t even see it. I think that’s when I knew I felt for you.”

You then remembered this moment as you beamed back at him. Last year, around Christmas, you were working late at the library. You went to grab another book when you saw Kun sitting at one of the other tables. In appearance he looked fine, but you noticed how he was rubbing his eyes behind his glasses, how he was messing with his hair slightly like he was stressed.

That night you went to talk to him, feeling brave enough, and you learned that he was supposed to come back to his family’s house, but couldn’t in the end. He was really sad about it. You then invited him to your friend’s Christmas, telling him that even if it were not family, he could spend it with you instead.

You remembered how bright his smile was after you both talked for hours, and maybe you thought, you felt for him this day too.

“I liked you for a long time too, but I didn’t think the situation was right for me to do something.” You confessed to him as well.

He agreed with you, “You are right, that’s what kept me also from trying something. That’s why I kept bugging you at the library after class hours. I wanted to spend more time with you.”

You felt yourself blush again; you were sure your face was so red.

“That’s why you were popping in the library when I was thinking of you, I thought I had the power to summon you.”

He laughed as he took your hand in his.

“Probably you had because I always wanted to be with you.”

You shook your head at his reply, your cheeks hurting from smiling too much.

He then put his other hand to bring you closer to kiss you again.

And you kissed some more, and some more.

After this night, everything felt like a dream.

As Kun and you kept your relationship secret, spending time together after working on your presentation and studying, you had never felt that happier.

He made sure you were ready for your presentation, cheering you up everyday by sending you messages or writing you notes and giving them to you when you saw him.

When the day of your presentation arrived, you had never felt this stressed before. But, three minutes was fast and before you even noticed, your time was over.

But you did amazing because you knew everything and studied a lot for this moment. You managed to answer to all the questions thrown at you. That night when you met with Kun, he congratulated you, telling you that even if he was not in the class to see you, he was sure you nailed it.

And nailed it, you did, as you received your diploma a week later and the biggest congratulation kiss ever.

N/A – Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it (:

I wanted to make it cute and fluffy. I don’t know if I managed to do it, but I enjoyed writing it! More ice creams coming soon~

The moodboard is made by me!

#Kun #kun wayv #kun qian #kun fanfic #kun fic #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct imagines #wayv scenarios #wayv fanfic

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yurimother · 5 years ago

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LGBTQ Visual Novel Review – The Expression Amrilato

I adore any work that tries to do something different with yuri, and visual novels are perhaps the medium pushing boundaries most when it comes to traditional yuri storytelling. I recently played such a visual novel, Mangagamer’s English adaptation of SukeraSparo’s The Expression Amrilato. The Expression Amrilato is an educational yuri game, focusing on teaching the player the international language of Esperanto, or Juliamo as it is known in the game’s world. The game was developed in collaboration with The Japanese Esperanto Institute and I was thoroughly excited to not only experience a cute yuri adventure but to learn something new!

The story begins when the protagonist, Rin, is transported to a mysterious parallel world. It is almost identical to her own with the only obvious differences being the language spoken and the eternally pink sky. Lost and scared, Rin frantically tries to figure out what is going on to no avail. Fortunately, she is saved by a younger girl, Ruka, who speaks a smattering of the Japanese familiar to Rin.

Soon Rin is registered as a vizitanto (the Esperanto term for visitor), a person who traveled to the world from another. Ruka, who again, is three years her junior, is established as her guardian, a dynamic Rin is somewhat embarrassed by. The two girls begin living together in Ruka’s apartment as Rin learns the basics of Juliamo. She is assisted in this endeavor by Ruka and the helpful, if somewhat mischievous, librarian, Rei.

These three women, Rin, Ruka, and Rei, are the main cast of the visual novel. By focusing on such a small cast SukeraSparo was able to give each of them a distinct personality, complexity, and intricate relationships with each other. As previously mentioned, Rei is mischievous and often pokes fun at Rin and Ruka. However, she is incredibly protective of both of them, giving advice and acting as a sort of parent to the two younger girls. This dichotomy of character works surprisingly well, especially later in the game as she reveals more about the world and her past.

Rei is excellent but the highlight of the game is Ruka and Rin. Rin is a superb protagonist. She often thinks and narrates inwardly, giving us insight into her feelings. She describes herself as pretty unremarkable but is determined to be good at one thing, learning Juliamo. She also constantly ponders and overthinks her relationship with Ruka, an incredibly complicated topic. Ruka, however, is much more quietly confident and reserve (as well as adorable). Although the younger girl is prone to pouting and frustration at Rin’s occasional stupidity. But, their relationship is the real highlight of the game.

Rin is “freeloading” off Ruka, and as Ruka is her guardian and teacher she is subservient. However, these tables are turned at times as Rin helps to teach Ruka more Japanese. Rin is also attracted to Ruka but she often blunders attempts to navigate or explain her feelings. The main boundary here is their language difference, which compels both Rin and the player to do their best learning Juliamo.

Rei acts as Rin’s primary resource for learning about the world she has wandered into. There is a surprising amount and world-building in The Expression Amrilato, particularly around the mechanics of how vizitanto come to the world and how governments support them. The established systems for how these vizitanto exist and assimilate, or not, into the world are fascinating and incredibly well thought out. This detailed setting creates an excellent framework for both the game’s education aspects and the core romance.

Overall, the romantic plot between Rin and Ruka is nothing new, it is the same “girl meets girl, girls likes girl, they get together” plot that has been told and retold countless times in the genre. This is not to say the romance is not enjoyable. Rin’s embarrassment and fumbling attempts to control her feelings for Ruka are simultaneously adorable and hilarious. The game has some fun with cliche moments like Rin falling into Ruka and them ending in a compromised position but also has some excellent human moments between the two, such as Ruka sleeping next to Rin to comfort her. The visual novel is decently tame with a little bit of suggestive description and one non-nude bathing scene early on. The lack of service feels appropriate and the characters are still able to hold their own romantic and sexual identities, a welcome accomplishment in the yuri genre which often spends too much time focusing on girls freaking out that they like other girls.

Choices exist in the game, primarily around using the Juliamo language. However, the romance and Rin’s fate ends in one of three ways, good, neutral, or bad, according to late game choices. I strongly disliked the choices as, for the most part, they have no clear indicator of where they are going, turning the story into guesswork, which was indeed my process to find all three endings, replaying the last section over and over again. Furthermore, on some routes, the choices that most players will want to make can lock them out of the best ending. I also was baffled by the choice to not have the player’s aptitude with Juliamo factor into the ending, as you can fail every quiz and get every dialogue option wrong and this will not affect the endings at all. Fortunately, the choices that do affect the ending are late in the game, so backtracking to find your desired outcome is possible.

The character designs and artwork are by Naruse Chisato, and she does a fantastic job. Each of the major characters looks are distinctive, with differing heights, body types, fashion sense, and proportions. I particularly enjoyed the varying outfits on Ruka and her facial expressions (especially when pouting). However, the characters often have a stiff cardboard feel to them, as they have very few poses and clash somewhat against the depth of the backgrounds. Additionally, some of the expressions, particularly on Rei, appear warped and unnatural.

The backgrounds and CG artwork, the latter of which are plentiful, are wonderful. They have a soft pastel look without ever being washed out, and the characters here appear much more at home in their environments and more animated, with cutouts frequently appearing in CGs to show action. Different art assets used in the educational scenes such as flashcards or writing on a chalkboard are excellent editions. Unfortunately, as the story takes place primarily in Ruka’s apartment and the library, the player will quickly become bored by these backgrounds and long for a change of scenery.

The voice talent matches the artwork in its high quality. This is particularly important in this game, as listening to language pronunciation is vital. The actresses easily switch between Esperanto and Japanese in a natural-sounding way. Great praise must be given to voice actresses for Rin and Ruka, Nagatsuma Juri and Uchida Shuu respectively, who convincingly stuttering and struggling over the languages their characters are learning while still being comprehensible.

Sadly, I found the soundtrack to be severely lacking. The game opens with an intro song, accompanied by animation, which was nice for a listen or two but I quickly grew tired of it. This is the most praise I have to offer the music. Most of the tracks are boring at best and at worst grate on the ears with discordant and irritating sounds. If I had not been playing the game to review it I would have disabled music after the first hour.

Finally, I cannot conclude my review of The Expression Amrilato without talking about the educational aspects and value of the game. For those of you who may not have known or have forgotten, when I am not writting about gay anime I am a teacher and spend a great deal of time studying pedagogy. Educational software can be an amazing tool for teaching, as it offers three key benefits, feedback, increased engagement, and interactivity. Using these criteria and just some of the knowledge I have gained from spending my entire life in school, although not always as a student, I examined how The Expression Amrilato teaches Esperanto.

The language is primarily taught through quiz-based learning. There are seven lessons which build on each other and the player then answers questions on. I was surprised by the variety in these quizzes, as they are not always just spouting the vocabulary word to name an object but can involve sentence and grammatical construction as well. Some of them are quite creative, such as when learning the parts of the body the player clicks on Ruka to identify the word she gives. These quizzes can be accessed independently after playing through them via the main menu and there is a Juliamo dictionary, although this is unlocked much later in the game than I would have liked.

Outside of the quizzes, new vocabulary and grammatical rules are often given and old ones reviewed, which appear as little pop-in at the side of the screen that gives pronunciation and spelling. Some gameplay sections of the visual novel have Rin complete actions that review previous lessons, such as going out shopping and needing to name the foods she buys. I enjoyed these sections in particular, as they felt more compelling to me than the quizzes ever did.

Given the criteria for education software, The Expression Amrilato does an okay but not amazing job. It does offer instant feedback, telling the player if they got a question wrong and giving them the correct answer, and has limited interactivity. However, on this front, I cannot help but wonder if the medium is holding the game back. The player never has many complicated choices or questions, and cannot write in answers or construct sentences. Instead, the quizzes and story sections are limited almost exclusively to multiple-choice selection. Engagement is probably where the game shines most, as it has a deep story and amazing art to compliment the learning.

The Expression Amrilato is a unique and enjoyable experience. The story has surprising depth, although it did little to break out of genre tropes. The game’s artwork is stupendous, giving both quality designs and backgrounds and a plethora of great CGs. The yuri romance is reliably cute and serves as a fun framework for learning Esperanto. While not pedagogically perfect, you will get out of the game what you put into it and, with a bit of work, you should walk away with some basics of the language and a big smile from those animated lesbians.

Ratings: Story – 7 Characters – 8 Art – 9 Voice – 7 Music – 2 Education – 5 LGBTQ – 5 Lewdness – 2 Final – 7

Review copy provided by MangaGamer

You can purchase The Expression Amrilato from Steam, Mangagamer’s website, and other digital storefronts.

Mangagamer is offering free review copies to any and all educational institutes that endorse Esperanto learning.

#reviews #yuri #the expression amrilato #visual novel #mangagamer #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#queer #gay #anime #manga #game #video games #lesbians #girls love #gl

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mirandhariesca · 4 years ago

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My Old Peeps

I never wrote about my parents. Except that one time when i first had my blog and thought that i would have it forever so i posted something about them to look back to. It’s not really about them. I wrote to them, but never let them know. Instead, i posted it for nobody to read. I still have the blog, somewhere on the internet. I just don’t have the access to it, anymore. I forgot the password, changed my email, whatever. I can’t access it anymore. So...

Let’s start with my dad.

My dad is a typical Makassar dad, whatever Makassar dad is. He’s the second of five children. Could’ve been a billionaire if his mother had let him out of this place when he had the chance. Yes, he was born and grew up here, the exact same area that i was born and grew up in. Shocker. He spent 20 something years of his life teaching art at the junior high school i attended. He’s patriarchal, just like the majority of our people. Thank God it’s not that bad. But still, his wife does almost everything for him.

We used to be best buddies, my dad and i. I was like a son he never had. He taught me how to play football. He took me to football games. I even stayed up late to watch The World Cup and leagues with him since i was a kid. I love coffee because of him. He also taught me how to ride a bike and surprised me with one on my 8th or 9th birthday. I had to work hard for that, tho (begged for weeks and weeks). Many years later, bike turns to car. No, the car is for my mom, i am the driver. My most favorite memory with my dad is when we went fishing. The first time i went, he made me. I didn’t even wanna go but it turned out little me has a thing for fishing. So, i made him bought me my own fishing gear and every other week after that, we went on a fishing-date. It became something we bonded over.

As i grew older, i spent less and less time with him. There were even times when we rarely see each other. We never really talked about things that matter. Everything he knows about me he knows from my mom and vice versa. Not to mention that we’re both stubborn as stubborn can be. We disagree about lots of things and sometimes i lost it. I should’ve tried to be more understanding everytime things got heated but i guess we have way too much in common. And, when you are faced with someone who is exactly like you, more often than not, you just can’t. it’s sad because i know he tried his best and he still does in a way he knows how. All i need to do is to understand but damn, it’s hard.

Now, about my mom.

My mom is a badass woman. She can be whatever you need her to be. There's nothing she couldn't do. She came from a Christian family and converted right before she got married to my dad. My mom's side of the family is something. I couldn't be more grateful to be a part of it. My grandpa was actually a priest. My grandma and him used to take in and foster less fortunate children. They have a lot of children, five of them are biological. Oh, they even gave their land to build a church which still stands to this day. Too bad i never got to meet my grandpa. He passed away before i was born. That's the kind of family my mom grew up in. No wonder she's an angel.

Have you met my mom? She's beautiful, she's getting old but you can still see the beauty. She is also a very intelligent woman. She's a teacher, a math teacher, a great teacher (according to her students). I adore her so much. She's my role model. I always wanted to be like her. Strong woman, devoted wife, patient mother, loving daughter, and great teacher. It never fails to amaze me how one person could do all that. But, just like any other people, she's not perfect. She has her own flaws. I had problems with her, too. And, that's okay. That's what mother and daughter do, right?

#day5 #30dayswritingchallenge

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laffinandlovin-blog · 4 years ago

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It’s a long post today folks!

I would like to begin this post with the assurance that I am safe and under the great care of amazing mental health professionals. I’m surrounded by the love of amazing friends and family. It is not lost on me that I am incredibly lucky to be employed and therefore have the opportunity to have great healthcare. Not everyone can afford professional care. Because of To Write Love On Her Arms, more people can. Because of To Write Love On Her Arms, I have a permanent community of support. I know I am about to share very personal information. I also know that when I’ve done so before, someone has always reached out in appreciation. I’m not writing for appreciation. I’m writing with hope that someone feels less alone. I am writing to combat the stigma that we cannot talk about mental health. If I have learned anything (and I’ve learned much), I have learned that it is okay to ask for help. It is ok not to be okay. I have learned that the bad feelings ALWAYS pass but some storms last longer than others. This pandemic has been incredibly difficult for many people. Some people experienced depression and anxiety for the first time and others felt their depression and anxiety amplify to new levels. I’m writing to say: I am here for you. I see you. I believe you. I’m also here to say thank you. Thank you to the friends and family members meet me in the sadness and love me because of it not in spite of it. Thank you for the hard conversations, the song recommendations, the cards, the IG messages, taking me to the doctor, holding me when I cry even though I’m not a hugger, for taking me to the ER junior year of college when I had a debilitating anxiety attack, and most of all for accepting the good days, the ugly cries, the loud and obnoxious laugh, and the understanding that I have a mental illness-I am not an illness.

Here’s the abridged version.

About 15 years ago I successfully convinced myself that I was stupid while studying for Chemistry as a sophomore. I just did not get it. I went to a private all-girl college prep school. Academics were intense. I worked my tail off, fell asleep with my books in my arms, and obsessed over school work. I was never very good at positive self-talk- I constantly put myself down. I was too fat, too dumb, didn’t have weekend plans therefore I had no friends. I was “too sensitive” and I became disgusted with myself. I would cry and cry and cry because I just did not know how to get past these hurdles-the doubt bullies. My dad would pick me up from school every day and the tears would come. At the time we didn’t know I was dealing with a major depressive disorder. I was told I had nothing to cry about at 16 and asked why I was so miserable. I believed that I was truly just a miserable and moody teenager-don’t we all go through that phase? Sometimes at night when I was studying I would bang my head against my bedroom wall questioning why I was so stupid, why I didn’t have any friends, and why I was so ugly. I look back now and know that was the depression talking. I never got lower than a B on a report card, I was student council president, and I had many friends. However, I didn’t know how to get the depression to just shut up already.

Those formative high school years and the negative mantras shaped my journey into adulthood. I successfully convinced myself that I was unattractive and undeserving of romantic love or any love for that matter. I would scratch my arms to feel some physical pain to make sense of the internal pain.

Amazing people were sprinkled into my life since the time I was in grade school (friends) and since birth (family). I had no idea how to explain my experiences with depression to my family. By the time I got to college I had become pretty set in my ways and my detrimental thinking. I remember calling my mom during what was most likely my first panic attack during college. She assured me that it was probably my nerves and stress (which were huge contributors) and to “try some tea and listen to Johnny”. John Mayer’s music was the first that I was able to identify with in terms of anxiety and depression. It wasn’t his most popular stuff but it was a lifeline for me. I also found in college a group of friends that became my chosen family. They didn’t understand my illness either but they were and are the most patient, supportive, and caring people I could have ever hoped to meet and still be close with 14 years later.

After year after graduating college, I moved to Boston. My relationship with Boston is a pretty great love story because of the people I met there. For the first time in my life I met people who struggled with self-worth, self-injury, and relied on medication to keep themselves safe. During a particularly difficult season of my depression, I began self-harming. My therapist and I decided it was best for me to begin an IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program). For 3 hours a night, 3 nights each week, for 6 weeks I attended a program where was enveloped in acceptance. I have never had plans to take my life however, I have thought that the life I was living just wasn’t worth it. I thought for sure that the best part of my life was behind me and that I really didn’t have much worth living for. I was convinced that I was a lost cause. The effectiveness of the meds always wore off and there were weeks at a time when I questioned if this life was worth fighting for. I found friends in Boston that I still reach out to to this day when things are feeling very low. Those people, unfortunately, know what it’s like to question if this is all worth it. Those people, fortunately, remind me that the fog does lift even if it feels like it’s all I know.

Now at 32, I still struggle almost daily. Where I am at 32 is very different than what I envisioned. I have wanted to be a mom since as long as I can remember (I had 40 baby dolls as a child and they all had names. They were also my students in my pretend classroom in my basement.). I long for romantic love. Someone who I can love and be loved by. But the real love. That person who can call me out and be my biggest fan. And vice versa. Someone with a big heart and an accepting mind. This is getting gushy. I regress. And to be a mom. I long to be a person who is fortunate enough to create her family and love her job and her friends and dogs and stand up for others and speak out against injustice. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting closer every day.

When I look back on my experiences thus far with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, I think about just how lucky I am that I have a sister, brother, parents, cousins, aunts, childhood friends, high school friends, high school teachers, college friends, Italy friends, furry friends, Boston friends and roommates who have loved me through my darkest times. I am amazed by the support, both of those who haven’t had experience with mental illness before loving me and those to whom I am forever connected because of our similar experiences. My people are #worthlivingfor.

There is so much #worthlivingfor. I’m so glad I’m here to experience it.

I am fundraising with @twloha to help provide access to counseling for those who need support. Please visit https://give.twloha.com/fundraiser/2871863 .

Thank you for reading this. personal message. It was long and it was sensitive. I am grateful for the courage to share and thankful for every listening ear and kind heart. I could write pages more. But today I encourage you to share what is #worthlivingfor in your life. Tag me (@lafferrx on Insta). Spread the love- the world needs it more than ever.

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honeysuckle-venom · 5 years ago

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4, 8, and 14 for the ask

Thank you so much for asking! I just answered 8 and 14, but here’s 4!

4: What has your experience with therapy been like?

Oh wow. Okay, so I’ve been in individual therapy since I was 11. I started also seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication at 15. I’ve also done some groups, some family therapy, and I’ve been in inpatient 4 times. So I have a lot of therapy experience. I’m not going to talk about all of it, that would take forever.

Unfortunately, most of my therapy experience wasn’t that great. My main therapist from when I was 11-16 was...fine. She wasn’t equipped to handle my situation, and I was pretty good at hiding what was really going on anyway, so not a lot of progress was made. It was better than not having therapy, but overall she wasn’t very helpful and my mental health went on a steadily downward spiral the whole time I saw her.

My main psychiatrist from when I was 16-21 also wasn’t great. She specialized in DBT, which isn’t a style of therapy that ultimately worked very well for me. I learned some useful tools from it, but it never got anywhere near the underlying issues.

When I was 16 I also got a new regular therapist. I still see her to this day (I’m 22 now). She’s absolutely amazing. I’ve had something like 10 therapists over the years in various long term and short term situations, and she’s the only one I ever really connected with. She’s mainly a psychodynamic therapist, which doesn’t work for everyone, but it works really well for me. It took me a long time to trust her, but at this point I trust her more than anyone and I’m willing to listen and take her advice when I wouldn’t from anyone else. She has a lot of experience working with childhood trauma, and some experience working with DID, and we’ve been doing trauma work for a while now. It’s very very difficult and intense and often leaves me exhausted and upset, but I’ve seen progress in a way I haven’t with anyone else. She trusts me, she doesn’t condescend and she takes my experiences seriously. At the same time, she doesn’t let me get away with shit. I’m incredibly grateful to have her.

Even though many of my experiences with therapists have been mediocre at best, I’m a big believer in therapy. I searched and searched for the right therapist, and I was lucky enough to find a good match, and it has made all the difference. I strongly believe that therapy is very important with DID (though of course I understand that it is not always possible) and I’m incredibly grateful to have had access to therapy for much of my life. I recognize how fortunate I am to have been in therapy starting at an early age and to have found a therapist who is really helping me, and I hope other systems can find the same thing.

#answers #about me #about us #j #thank you again for asking!#also if anyone ever has specific questions about therapy #i'm happy to answer #Anonymous

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sapphicscholar · 6 years ago

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A/N: Warning for an instance of threatened/attempted violence

And thanks to @performativezippers for the delightful first half of the title and to @bathtimefunduck for suggesting the Bachelorette. And most importantly HAPPY BIRTHDAY @lurkz!! Hope you have a great day and enjoy this unreasonably long one-shot

Chapter Preview:

Alex ran a finger over the cool metal of the gun tucked into its holster, letting the familiar feel of it comfort and ground her as crowds rushed around the room, taking no effort to avoid slamming into her or pushing past her.

Day one. She could do it. Just 49 of them left after this first day ended. J’onn’s reminder to “use these seven weeks as a time to recenter yourself” rang in her ears. She doubted there would be any recentering happening here. He’d insisted it wasn’t a punishment for her diving in front of a spray of bullets on their last job, trusting her Kevlar and her helmet more than she trusted the rookie agents tasked with protecting the Senator’s daughter, but she suspected it was. Why else would she get stuck with some reality television star? It was all glitz and glam and entitlement and everything Alex loathed.

The only good thing was that they were charging the studio a small fortune for the 24/7 private security, so Alex knew she had a decent payout coming at the end of the seven weeks. J’onn had already suggested it might be nice if she used it to take a vacation. They both knew she wouldn’t.

“Danvers!” About goddam time. She’d been up for over 12 hours with almost nothing to do except familiarize herself with the set layout and camera feeds.

Alex lifted her head at the sound of the producer’s grating voice. If she didn’t already hate the woman for all the exploitation that went into making a reality show, she’d hate her for the nails-on-chalkboard tone that had been ringing in her ears since 5 in the morning.

“Time to meet our bachelorette!”

“Kay,” Alex grunted, hefting her bag onto her shoulder and following in Siobhan’s wake out of the maze of trailers and food service trucks into one of the two houses on the property—smaller, but still nicer than anything Alex had ever slept in. Not that she really wanted to be sleeping in it. Though she, at the very least, would be spared the indignity of having surveillance cameras set up to watch her every move. She might have to live in a tiny room down the hallway from the bachelorette’s suite, but J’onn had insisted that his security teams couldn’t do their best work while worrying about moles and plants on the other end of the feeds.

Alex forced herself to listen as Siobhan reviewed the different areas of the house—the gym, the in-house sauna, the kitchen, the dining room, the entertainment room. Honestly, the list was too goddam long for a single person, let alone a person who was only inhabiting the place for a few weeks.

They ended up in some room with a name that Alex suspected meant something to people who watched the damn show.

“And this”—Siobhan announced with a flourish—“is Maggie Sawyer.”

Alex looked her up and down. Short. Attractive, she supposed, but there probably wasn’t anyone who got on a show like this that wasn’t attractive. Plaid button-up. Alex wondered if wardrobe chose it to remind the viewers back home that Maggie was the first ever lesbian bachelorette—like they needed some easy was to make that connection. Of course, even with the tucked-in shirt, she still had skinny jeans tight enough to highlight everything any straight man tuning in would want to see and heeled boots that looked incredibly impractical. Then there was the long hair that had been styled to glossy perfection in the hair and makeup trailer moments before. And sure, okay, Alex could admit it looked pretty. Whatever. But still, a part of her wondered what it would take to have a lesbian bachelorette that looked a little more like her or some of her friends. She unconsciously ran her hands through her wavy hair, the tips of her fingers gliding across the short hair of the undercut she’d gotten a few months after coming out.

“Maggie,” Siobhan continued, “this is Alex Danvers.” Alex gave a nod of her head. “She’ll be providing 24/7 security for you.”

“Because of the threats?” Maggie asked, her lips twitching and features hardening slightly.

“There will always be some threats in show business.” Siobhan waved her hand and smiled broadly as if death threats were laughable. “The girls have their own security as well. I’m sure everything will be fine, but it’s best to protect our bases, hmm?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll leave you two to get acquainted. I’ll send a PA back in half an hour for both of you. Maggie, you’ll be filming your intro monologue, then we need to get you to wardrobe for an outfit change before the girls show up.”

“Okay.”

Alex narrowed her eyes, wondering how someone so curt possibly got chosen for a show like this one. Then again, she didn’t get paid to ask those questions or care about whether or not some random woman was going to look like an ass on national television.

“Alright,” Alex began, switching to the authoritative tone she found worked best for getting through to people, “in order for me to do my job best, I need you to follow my—”

“I get it,” Maggie interjected.

Alex narrowed her eyes and huffed. “Look, just follow me, we’re doing a tour of the house, looking for weak security points.”

“My entire bedroom.”

“What?”

“The whole thing—floor to ceiling glass windows that I can only hope are bulletproof but definitely leave me visible, which is, I guess, the whole point. Two different egress points—door to the hallway, then one to the bathroom, which also has a door to the sauna, which then opens up down the hallway. And none of the doors lock for easy camera access. It’s a security nightmare.”

“I… What are you doing looking around for things like that?”

“Would you prefer if I acted as ditzy as you clearly think I am?” Maggie shot back.

“Excuse me for not assuming that the woman parading herself around on television for some quick cash and a chance to get laid by a bunch of desperate women is a fucking genius.”

“I’m a detective, Danvers. I know my way around basic security.”

“What?”

“I’m here because I lost a bet.”

Alex folded her arms across her chest. “Bullshit. People audition for years to get on shows like this.”

“Thought you didn’t know anything about it.”

“I can do a basic Wikipedia search.”

“Look, I’m a newly single lesbian who can talk about wanting to date and get back out there and find love or whatever. I’m hot with enough muscles from my job to be able to flex for the cameras but not so much that I’ll make straight people uncomfortable. I’m exactly what they were looking for.”

“You auditioned, though. You didn’t get in because of a bet.”

“No. I let my coworkers make and submit an audition tape for me because I lost a bet.”

Alex continued to glare. “Whatever. We’re still going over the house.”

Read the rest on AO3!

#sanvers #celebrity/bodyguard au #slow burn #enemies to friends to lovers #some angst #lots of fluff #surfer!Alex #bachelorette!Maggie #alex danvers #maggie sawyer #fanfic #supergirl #completed fic #ao3feed

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nyxi-styx · 6 years ago

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Reflecting

I don’t normally do a year in review, but this was such an interesting year of ups and downs. That meme about “I was somehow living both my best life and worst life simultaneously” is true. At least in my case.

January to March didn’t bring me much of anything. I did, however, start working on my drawing skills. I didn’t stick to it as much as I would have liked, but I’ve found that I’m actually really good at drawing in the Rick & Morty style. Unfortunately, I was also raped this year. It wasn’t forceful or violent and I was afraid to say “no” verbally, but my body language and resistance should have been clue enough that I did not want it.

In April, I was able to go and meet Sean Astin at Indiana Comic Con. It was brief, but memorable. He was so sweet and funny and undeniably handsome. I was glad I was able to make that dream come true for my mom and that she and my little sister could enjoy their first convention with me.

In May, I got to be with my very best friends again in Los Angeles where we were able to explore gorgeous Santa Monica. I became closer with a friend I’ve confided in regularly for quite some time. I did not get to meet Andrew Scott again, which was heartbreaking, but I did get a wonderful, intimate convention experience with so many other Sherlock people I love, particularly Sian Brooke. A week later, I got to see @therealjacksepticeye live on stage in Indianapolis at the Old National Center, which was quite a fun experience. His “Positive Mental Attitude” movement has really gotten me through a lot this year which led me to getting my fourth tattoo in June. Immediately after that, I was fortunate enough to attend Indy Pop Con for a second time and meet @crankgameplays

In July, I was given the privilege and honor of being the photographer for my aunt’s long-awaited wedding, which was a beautiful and intimate affair. I also had the pleasure of seeing Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson live in concert at their Twins of Evil Tour Indianapolis show, both artists which were on my bucket list. It was truly something to behold and won’t easily be forgotten.

From late June to late September, I was in a relationship which caused me to learn a lot about myself. Unfortunately, I had to end it when it became clear that we were just far too incompatible to continue. Honestly, I don’t wish her any ill, but I hope she learns some things about life and relationships. It boiled down to immaturity and anticipating/understanding my needs the way I did with her.

August saw me abruptly quit a job I had been with and loved for a year due to an abusive change in management. The old manager had been a friend and a wonderful leader. The new manager was verbally abusive to all employees, paranoid, neurotic and so many other things. I literally could not handle it mentally anymore and left after my shift, never to return. I’m not proud of that, but I had to do what I had to do for my own mental wellbeing. I immediately started looking for a new hotel job, but was left unemployed for a month. I just barely managed to keep my head above water.

In September, I started my new job at an upscale hotel in Downtown Indianapolis that is part of the Marriott franchise. It’s different in many ways from the hotel I used to work at and I’m still trying to find my groove, but I work with some really wonderful people and I have an amazing boss again. He’s a great leader and very friendly and down to earth. I was also able to go and see Pentatonix in concert with my cousins. Another fantastic experience. It was so much fun and I’ll cherish that memory for a very long time. Later that same month, I hosted friends at my home and was able to attend my final Supernatural convention in Indianapolis. I got some wonderful photos and was able to be on stage again for karaoke. I can’t think of a better end to my attendance at these conventions. Especially considering that weekend’s Saturday Night Special was, by far, the best I’d ever attended. I wish I could continue to go, but their increased prices that don’t seem to have a ceiling are preventing me from going. I wouldn’t have been able to go to this one at all without the help and generosity of my friends.

In October, I was able to meet Tom Hiddleston. Unfortunately, it did not go as well as planned which unfortunately left be feeling a little flat and slightly brokenhearted, but it was still a good experience and I can’t quite believe I didn’t fail it entirely. As an added bonus, I got to meet Tim Jacobus who was part of my childhood in that he was the artist for the majority of the Goosebumps novels. I also finally got to work at my first ever haunted house and met some truly amazing friends in the process. Unfortunately, I did not get to celebrate my 26th birthday as I worked all day at both my regular full-time job at the haunted house, but I’m thankful that I had jobs to work at. I unfortunately also worked on Halloween which was soul-crushingly sad for me.

November, unfortunately is where everything got horrible. Everything was okay until Thanksgiving when I received a notice to vacate on my door. I am thankful it wasn’t an eviction notice. I was able to stay with a friend temporarily and I am forever grateful to her for opening her home to me. November was also the time in which I discovered Shane Dawson and I am glad I did because it was his humor and deep distractions that got me through the very difficult time between homes. He’s very relatable and him being so open and public about his own body dysphoria makes me feel seen and heard and understood. He refuses to let his bisexuality be erased. He’s an overall kind and genuine person.

In December, I have moved into a new, accessible cheaper place. I’ll be getting together with family at the holidays when I’m not working and overall I’m just going to keep doing the best I can. Oh and I’ve recently taken up makeup! I can’t wait to keep improving on that front as well.

Overall, it’s been a year full of both highs and lows. I cannot wait to see what things 2019 has for me.

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all-things-andrew-scott · 6 years ago

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Reflecting

In May, I got to be with my very best friends again in Los Angeles where we were able to explore gorgeous Santa Monica. I became closer with a friend I’ve confided in regularly for quite some time. I did not get to meet Andrew Scott again, which was heartbreaking, but I did get a wonderful, intimate convention experience with so many other Sherlock people I love, particularly Sian Brooke. A week later, I got to see Jacksepticeye live on stage in Indianapolis at the Old National Center, which was quite a fun experience. His “Positive Mental Attitude” movement has really gotten me through a lot this year which led me to getting my fourth tattoo in June. Immediately after that, I was fortunate enough to attend Indy Pop Con for a second time and meet another Youtuber I enjoy, Ethan Nestor (CrankGameplays).

November, unfortunately is where everything got horrible. Everything was okay until Thanksgiving when I received a notice to vacate on my door. I am thankful it wasn’t an eviction notice. I was able to stay with a friend temporarily and I am forever grateful to her for opening her home to me. November was also the time in which I discovered YouTuber, Shane Dawson and I am glad I did because it was his humor and deep distractions that got me through the very difficult time between homes. He’s very relatable and him being so open and public about his own body dysphoria makes me feel seen and heard and understood. He refuses to let his bisexuality be erased. He’s an overall kind and genuine person.

Overall, it’s been a year full of both highs and lows. I cannot wait to see what things 2019 has for me.

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shekeepsmeworms · 6 years ago

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Having internet access is great because you can learn about any health condition with the click of a button! Unfortunately, as a total hypochondriac, it means I can learn about any disease or condition with the click of a button! Sometimes I don’t even have to search! When I was young like idk 5 or 6 I saw some whole long infomercial thing about how like “BlOoD CaN SeEp InTo YoUr BrAiN” I still remember the fucking voice and I got so freaked that for literal MONTHS I slept with my head at like a 45 degree angle on top of a big bundled up blanket because my logic was that the gravity will like make my blood stay away from my brain and I’ll be fine that way. Did not occur once to me that all the people in the commercial were either very old or had severe head injuries because I was 6 and had more fear than sense. But also also also reasons why I’m the way I am-

My dad got cancer twice! First when I was 5! At age 7 I spent Easter at a friends house because my dad got a huge blood clot and spent the night in the er! He got cancer again at age 8 and we couldn’t even visit him for at least a month but probably longer don’t remember exactly because he had literally no immune system at all like white blood cells whom? and any germ of ours would have killed him! When I was like 13 I watched him have a grand mal seizure and be carried out of the house on a stretcher into an ambulance not knowing if he’d ever come back!

Thankfully he very much did come back and is doing well today and even driving and has been in remission for like a decade, and I’m so so so fucking lucky and fortunate and grateful that he’s been able to get the medical care to keep him kicking through all this shit, but like fuck man. I like to pretend to myself that I was totally fine watching my dad almost die like so many times growing up, but man did it really fuck me up. Like just. Shit. No wonder I can’t have a stomach ache from too much pasta without panicking that I’m having a heart attack. (That freak out was not a childhood thing! It was last month! I’m 20!) basically I need to actually talk through some of this for once and not just ignore it because it hurt and I was scared just so scared for so much of my life and while I’m so fortunate he’s alive I’m still so far from being okay or over it.

#this is long and its 2am and i needed to get this out somewhere

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feelup2lifewithsoundboardvision · 3 years ago

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I WROTE THIS THE DAY AFTER INDEPENDENCE DAY. JUST A THOUGHT........

Through this very important space and time, I'm going to be honest and say some truths that I have been having to come to terms with as far as how can I honestly express my relationship to the world around me in the country that I live in especially now here in the United States of America, in a way that does honor my gratitude for my family, where we are in America to the degree which I am conscious enough to be fortunate to be in America of all places on Earth, while benefiting from all of the not so tender moments to say the least. I hope everyone had a great day of gratitude yesterday for where they are in terms of freedom and, if you are reading this then you, like myself, have plenty to be grateful for in this moment.

IF only evidenced by your access to this information to remind you that you do, ALWAYS, IN FACT, have a choice in how you decide to feel from moment to moment. Here's the rub; what has to happen in order for you to decide how to emotionally ground yourself purposefully requires that you recognize that the first choice is for you to be present enough to pay attention to how you are actually feeling, and why. To know where you get to go to feel your way to wholeness in your life experience, you get to First understand where you currently be. Much of where we currently are energetically and what surrounds us that we can perceive with our senses is due to our emotional and experiential set points of the past. The beauty is, you do not need to uncover anything much from the past other than a historical snapshot to make sense of where you are and what is your perception of this life as we understand it to be on today. It is simply an answer to the question why here and why now.

I personally am not affiliated with any denomination or religious sect. I have studied and continue to study many different ancient wisdoms and cultures, I absolutely am in love with science and what all the research is showing these days in terms of how science is actually now catching up with religion in terms of proving that many of the principles across the board are actually producing biological chemical reactions that give the same outcomes that the wise sages already knew thousands and thousands of years ago. And this includes in such a powerful relevant way in our contemporary times, the Holy Bible. In specifically the New testament in Jesus Christ and the offer he GAVE HIS LIFE FOR provides a road map of how to get right in the energy so that there can be Peace and Harmony amongst us. Both on an individual level no matter what the circumstances around us, and an actual harmonious fashion as a collective. We have Free Will and the choice is and has always been ours.

It's now really becoming clear to me that this is a testament of assistance to a mankind that, time and time again throughout history and prophetically speaking forward to our current moment like clockwork apparently, was going ONCE AGAIN develop in leaps and bounds faster than our capacity to be intentional in creating a Harmonious alignment with our environment, fellow brother and sisters on Earth, and so generously have a solution if we all can actually resonate with the truth of who Jesus Christ is and his offering. However I am in love with Jesus Christ and what the Holy Bible offers and I will be remiss not to say this in the hopes that not a whole lot of people miss out on it because of the misrepresentation that actions and words of this alignment are causing people to turn away.

Now, the day after Independence Day, I will be remiss not to offer a notice moment to my fellow Americans and anyone else around the world. Especially if you truly align yourself with the Christian faith, and it's true essence and I'm talking you claim to have a connection with Jesus Christ? And you are not willing to step away from tradition when it is out of alignment with true Christ energy of renewal, of being your brother's keeper, of not producing fruit that is clearly coming from a good tree a righteous tree a good place? Then your claims of doing everything on behalf of Jesus Christ outwardly for righteous attention is the reward so I hope that you're enjoying it cuz that's your reward, the false security of a self righteous feeling by sharing words without the true actions of love behind them is will be your reward. It says this very clearly in the Bible. I hope it's worth it, because Christ says that if you are not willing to leave your mother, father, brothers son behind when you recognize that they are out of alignment with what Christ is truly representative of, you are not following His teachings.

So in that spirit, I would like to invite you to get back to the book and get into your prayer closets, people. who believes that you would rather sink your claws into a comfortable history of what "was the past is the past but just leave everything the way it is because those are my fond memories that you're wrestling with , let's dig into some real talk because it's something to notice. Something to attempt to wrap your head around because it's important, and not because I feel like any type of victim. In fact, it is because I am empowered and because I am holding everyone that I know in the highest of regards that you are going to take the time to open up your heart enough to actually listen and stop trying to be comfortable, because that's why you feel like they're coming after your s***. Because you're totally okay for it to not matter about somebody else's feelings, that's how control is created. It's a psychological manipulation where they have you feel totally cozy while they assert control over a certain groups of people and take away their rights and or don't ever really provide them in true spirit and Truth, and what is eating away at everyone that I know that so worried about some big Liberty grab right now is that your conscience is attempting to get your attention! However you're looking in the wrong direction of where the enemy is my friends!

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years ago

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09/29/2020 DAB Transcript

Isaiah 57:15-59:21, Philippians 1:1-26, Psalms 71:1-24, Proverbs 24:9-10

Today is the 29th day of September welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it’s great to be here with you today as we continue the journey, the voyage that we embarked on so many days ago, 200…I don’t know…270 something days ago we started our journey and here we are moving forward through one of the strangest years we've ever experienced in the rhythm of the Scriptures and our lives. It's been such a gift to have in our lives. It’s been such a gift to have each other to take this journey with. So, we’re reading from the Lexham English Bible this week and we’ll pick up where we left off in Isaiah. And then when we get to the New Testament, we’ve got a new letter from the apostle Paul. It's known as Philippians and we'll talk about that when we get there. But first Isaiah chapter 57 verse 15 through 59 verse 21.

Introduction to the book of Philippians:

Okay. This leads us to the letter to the Philippians, although of note…and I don't usually like talk right here in the middle but the we see yesterday we…we read as we were closing, Ephesians about putting on the whole armor of God and we see the inspiration for this in Isaiah today. But anyway, let's move forward. Philippians. So, there’s…there's very little debate among biblical scholars about whether Paul wrote Philippians, and there's really not a lot of debate about sort of the circumstances behind Philippians, what ill Paul's circumstances where. He was incarcerated. He was in Rome. He had appealed to the Emperor and he was awaiting trial. So, as Paul writes this, he is imprisoned. And the letters that he writes from…from…from incarceration are known as his prison letters, right, his prison epistles. We should also note that Philippians, as well as all of Paul's letters, that these are some of the earliest, and in some cases, the earliest Christian writings, documents, that still exist. So, this letter that we’re going to read, even though we’re well into our year, this letter is earlier than the New Testament for sure. It became part of the New Testament. But there was no New Testament for this letter to be added to. This is a letter that predates the Gospels, predates the book of Acts. All of that stuff came a little later. And, so, this letter is roughly, couple, three decades after the life of Jesus, His earthly life and ministry. And Philippi itself, this is a Roman colony in the region of Macedonia, which is northern Greece today. And it was a prosperous city but the church that was founded there, they weren’t particularly powerful or wealthy or influential. What we’ll find is that they are rich in love and their rich in their concern about Paul who had come to them and brought the Good News. And, so, part of Paul writing this letter is just to encourage them and thank them because they've encouraged him. So, basically when the church in Philippi found out that Paul was in prison they sent a man named Epaphroditus, who was part of their congregation, to Rome to bring…to bring a gift, but also to bring the gift of love, like to lift his spirits and to find out how he's doing and to bring word back. And of course, Paul being imprisoned in Rome, receiving a visitor, like a friendly face, you can only imagine the joy and the comfort and peace that that would bring. And, so, Epaphroditus stays with Paul while he's in prison kind of trying to help care for his needs and just…just be there for him. But while he was in Rome with Paul, he became deathly ill and in fact, we’ll find out in the letter, like nearly died. And, so, when he recovered and was restored to health Paul was...was determined to send back Philippi and he carried this letter back to Philippi with him. And it shares of the circumstances and it's meant to be…it's meant to be encouraging. It…it's meant to lift up those that read it. And as we’ve mentioned before, these letters, these letters…like we’re actually reading these letters as they were originally read. They weren’t silently read. Like you didn't go to church, and you know to congregation one day and there are Xerox copies of a letter that had just come in and everybody gets a copy and then they just sit there and silently read. That’s not how letters worked. So, the letter would've been recited. It would have been read aloud before the congregation as if the reader were Paul. And in some of Paul's letters, we even hear him saying, “although I'm not with you present…like I'm not physically with you, I'm with you in Spirit.” Those are in the letters, and those are supposed to be read aloud, like “I'm with you in spirit” that people took that to heart. Not literally like there's some kind of a metaphysical thing going on here. More like the spirit of Paul, like what Paul is trying to convey, somebody else's voice is being used but these are the words that are actually being said. The spirit of what's being said is from the spirit of Paul. And what we see that he’s trying to convey, like what his spirit is trying to say to them is encouraging, is to lift them. Even though he's in chains, even though persecution and marginalization is beginning to occur he wants to talk about the joy of salvation. And we’ll see that he wants to talk about perseverance, which we won't be able to escape as we move forward. The idea of endurance as a necessary component of the Christian life is impossible to avoid as we move forward into the New Testament. So, like it's…it's been crazy out there. Like I know you guys have noticed. It's been a crazy year. It's been crazy. And it’s still kind of crazy…like it's still crazy if we’re just being honest. This has been a very disruptive year. Just a lot of uncertainty and a lot of divisiveness. And that's only gonna amp up here, especially in the United States since we have an election year. So, it is kind of a crazy year with a lot of disruption. And, so, Philippians kind of comes in right now when we need it most, with joy and encouragement, I mean, with lots of things, but fundamentally, with words of encouragement and perseverance. And, so, we begin. Philippians, chapter 1.

Prayer:

Father we thank You for Your word. We love You Lord. We just…we’re continually thanking You for the gift of each other and the gift of Your word and we are grateful every day, but we worship You. We just take a moment to worship You. And it's because of who You are, but the benefits that are bestowed upon us that we cannot get any other way that are just gifted to us when we reach out to You in faith, is unspeakable. It's good news. And, so, we are grateful. We love You and we thank You. And as we move through Philippians, we invite Your Holy Spirit to bring words of encouragement into a very discouraging time. Come Holy Spirit and lead and guide us. May we put on the full armor on a daily basis knowing that we are equipped, that nothing can get to us, nothing can get to our spirits to destroy the union that we have with You, nothing can access that spot, that place unless we allow it. And we don’t. We declare it. Nothing is getting between You and us. You have never left. You have always, always been there for us. We confess we have come and gone more times than we could possibly count. But there's nothing getting between us now. We need You now more than ever and we thank You for the opportunity for…for the odd circumstances that surround us to make us aware of our utter dependence upon You. And, so, we rest in that. We get to depend on You. We are fortunate. We have a rock and a redeemer. And, so, we rest in You. Lead us forward we ask in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, it's where the Global Campfire is, it's…it’s where we gather, it’s where you find out what’s going on around here, its where we get connected. So, let's do just that and stay connected on our journey as we continue forward.

The Community section will be a great place to start. That's where the Prayer Wall is and different links to different social media channels that we are on. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, thank you, first of all. Thank you, humbly and gratefully. This mission that we started so long ago to bring the spoken word of God read fresh every day for anybody who would listen to it has grown into this community that we now have and the Global Campfire that we come around every day and that has happened because we've done this together. And, so, thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if you prefer, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the little red button at the top in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning DABbers today is Friday, September 25th this is Lelah from Virginia. I’m a 9 or 10 year listener but first-time caller. I don’t often listen to the prayer requests but this morning I did, and I know God kept me on the program to hear the heart of Denise from North Carolina. Denise I too am in a 3- year marriage with no intimacy. I suffer greatly as you are suffering now, longing for connection to the one I love. Being lonely in a house full of people is so a very hard to endure. I am praying for you sister. Praying that your heart would be totally enveloped with the love of God for you, praying that you would not be jealous of your friends who have these seemingly perfect soulmates as spouses. My ability to endure and have peace about the situation came when I recognized that my desire for my marriage to be more had become an idol to me. I desired that more than I want to God. I was able to let it go and became satisfied with the companionship. It’s still not easy but it’s so much less painful. I’m praying for peace for you. The situation may never change but God will never change, and He loves you. Sink into His love dear sister. Cry in His arms. He is there for you. You are not alone. You have never been alone. I love you. I love all of you DABbers. Thank you for being such an important part of my life. Thank you, Jill, Brian, China and the rest of your family. May God bless you all richly. Thank you.

Good morning fellow DABbers Joe the protector from Georgia it’s Friday, Friday, September 25th 7:54 in the morning. Just got finished listening to the DAB and I heard Pelham from Alabama call in and state how he wanted to start a new…a new part of his life by calling in for others and encouraging them. And, I don’t that is much as I need to or should. But Terry the trucker did call in the other day. Terry you’ve been a part of this community for a while and we should all be encouraging you. But I can remember just a couple years ago you called in when you had your accident. And brother, you know, I know you’re away from your family do to the COVID but you’ve been through worse, you know. If I remember correctly, you told us that…that you almost or could have died from that accident and you went down an embankment if I recall correctly. So, you know, you’ve been through a lot and the Lord’s still with you. He hasn’t a left you. And just consult Him as we all know we should at all times. Alright fellow DABbers you all have a blessed and wonderful day. See y’all.

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is Preston from Sunnyvale California today is September 25th. I want to lift up today the people of Dubai or at least the people working there. Seems like we’ve been getting a few prayer requests from different people whose job situations seem to be in somewhat a challenging situation. So, I’d like to pray for them. Dear Father, we thank You for those of us who are called to work in foreign countries. We thank You for those of us who make the choice to live and work in places that are not their home. Father we love You and we thank You for calling us to…to…to be in those places Father. We ask that for those individuals who have called in, that You would make their work situations viable, that You would make those work situations…just smooth out those paths where they are crooked and make it so that they can continue to live and work and prosper in where they are. Father we love You and we thank You for sending Your son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins. We thank You that You sent the Holy Spirit to be our helper in these difficult times and we just ask that Your Holy Spirit make…make Dubai a hospitable place for these individuals who have called in. In Your precious name Jesus.

Hello, I just want to ask everybody to pray with me for Denise who called in from the Carolinas seeking intimacy with her husband. And Father we lift up Denise to You and her husband and we ask Lord that You would bless them with a battery relationship Lord God. We ask Lord God that by Your Holy Spirit You would move in each one of their lives and bring them together, knit their hearts together, knit their love life together Lord and bless them and their marriage Father in the name of Jesus. Denise is a believer looking to You and crying out to You and we thank You Father for moving in that situation in Jesus’ name. And if it would be good for them to go to counseling Lord God we ask that You would put that desire in their heart and lead them and guide them and direct them to a good godly counselor and we thank You for doing that Father. Thank You for Denise. Thank You Lord that everything is important to You, every need we have is important to You and that is an important thing that she is believing for You to work in. And we thank You for doing that work, for Your glory in the name of Jesus.

Well hello again fellow DABbers this is James the Mighty Warrior. I called in a couple of days ago. I really just was more or less edifying, exhorting the DABbers and expressing my regards for this….for this…for this family but I do have something to pray about this time and I’d like for you guys to pray with me. Actually, my wife and I, we’ve been separated for about two years and I hadn’t heard or seen her but maybe once or twice since then and it was very, very brief. But I called a friend of mine today and he told me that she had called his wife and explained to her that she had met some guy from O wherever and she’s going to be get married and she’s going to be filing for a divorce and all of that kind of stuff. But it’s so…it’s like a coincidence because over the last three weeks I’ve been dreaming about her, seeing her in visions and things like that. And, so, the Lord laid on my heart to fast and pray for her today and I did and I got on messenger and I hadn’t heard from my friend in a long time but anyway he told me that, you know, what had transpired. She had talked to his wife and she told em that we’re getting divorced and all this. So, guys, I just ask you all the pray for me, with me, that we could get the mind of God on this thing. I really don’t want a divorce even though we haven’t been around each other in about two years because I just don’t want another divorce, you know, for whatever reason. And I believe God is into reconciliation...

Hello this is the first time I’ve ever called. I’m Melissa from Louisiana. I was calling…I wanted to pray…I have a prayer request of my own. I’ve had multiple eye diseases for the last 20 years. About 18, 19 surgeries in both eyes. Last month I had a macular hole repair in the left eye but the doctor says that the right eye his family, my pressures a 4. It’s because the capillaries keep bleeding into the eye and it’s…it’s been inflamed for 10 years. I’ve been using steroids and it is not responding to the steroids. So, the inflammations causing everything from the macular…the eye is failing. So, I just…I believe in the Lord and I need everybody’s faith to help carry me to a miracle. I am believing for an absolute miracle, that the Lord will heal my eyes so I can see out of this eye, so it doesn’t hurt when I blink or move from left to right. So, there’s just a lot of pain and issues in this right eye and I just pray for a miracle in Jesus’ name. Thank you, DABbers.

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