#but that’s another reason ultrasounds are not always the best

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

Currently rewatching cm rn and i saw that you requests are open and i honestly love your blog and your writing so i decided to make a request.So i was thinking,spencer is in jail and when reader goes to see him she tells him that she’s pregnant (yk that scene where jj shows him henry draw?Instead is reader showing him the ultrasound)sorry if this doesn’t make any sense,hope you have a great night/day🩷🫶🏻

i was trying to find that scene you were talking about but couldn’t, but i get what you mean. liaison!fem reader

spencer was being framed and you haven’t seen him in a month. the team kept work on his case while dealing with the active ones, whenever there was a spare moment you’d look over the files collected and try to see if something might stick out to you. you weren’t a seasoned profiler, but you’ve been around them for ten years that bits and pieces get picked up.

you needed spencer, you needed his arms wrapped around you so you could sleep soundly. you needed his random facts so you could always ask him more questions. you needed his sweet kisses and delicate hands leaving you dreamy and breathless.

you needed your husband so you didn’t have to raise your child alone. a palm rubbed over your small bump, one of spencer’s sleep shirts swallowing your figure. “i’m gonna bring daddy home. don’t worry.” whispering choked as you were hunched at your dining table with the scattered files staring up at you.

tomorrow was your day to visit spencer. you’ll bring the ultrasound picture with you so he could maybe sneak it onto his person. you wanted to give him another reason to keep himself safe as the days tick by.

there were many different families in the visiting room, young children were even sat at the cold metal tables. your knee kept bouncing from anxiety and your fingers held onto small photo, you tried not to bend or curl it.

you perked up when one by one, inmates were escorted to their tables. the officers reminding everyone, “no physical touch from inmate or visitor.” you took a shaky exhale when spencer’s tall figure entered the room, he looked unharmed.

he sat down across from you, his messy curls starting to grow longer. “hi honey,” eyes getting watery at the forced separation. spencer’s smile wobbled, “hi love.”

“i- i brought you some news, it’s not for the- the case. but it’s good news.” you slowly placed the photo on the table and slid it towards spencer then pulled back, just feeling his fleeting warmth as he pulled the paper closer.

he stared down at it, mouth slightly agape. “is- is this real?” he asked quietly. his eyes looked to you and you nodded with a few tears sliding down your cheeks, “i’m three months along.”

spencer licked his lips then dragged his palms down his face, “holy shit.” you heard his whisper. you stuffed your hands under your thighs, “are- are you happy?” voice cracked on the word happy.

spencer was quick to snap his eyes to you, his eyes softening and brows pinching. he started to reach a hand out, but pulled it back to the photo. “of course. this is the best thing to happen to us, i’m just- i’m just worried. emily said it might be awhile and im worried that i’ll miss so much with you and the baby, they might not even know who i am when i’m released.”

you didn’t want to get his hopes up, you didn’t want to get your hopes up. “we’re working on it twenty four seven. it shouldn’t be long before you’re free, and i always play the recording of your ted talks or lectures when i go to sleep. it calms both of us.”

you always made sure to talk about spencer with your growing fetus. making sure you constantly remind them, “your daddy loves you. he’s just somewhere for the time being, but he’ll be home soon.”

the guards reappeared and told everyone their time was up. “keep it,” you jerked your chin at the photo. spencer quickly slipped it into his uniform pocket and stood from the table, hesitating for a moment. “i love you. i love you both.” he said before leaving the room.

[berberriescorner]

"Through It All"

Characters: Rio x Black!Reader.

Summary: There aren’t many things that put Rio on edge. Most people see a calm, cool, and collected individual. Keeping a level head is his specialty. What happens when the person he loves most needs him to be strong for both of them? Get a glimpse of what it’s like seeing him hold someone down through thick and thin, in sickness and health. If you know, you know.

**PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS AND AUTHOR’S NOTE**

Warnings: Angst…like seriously. You’ll understand once you read the author’s note. This fic contains sweet, soft, fluffy Rio. The fic includes some of my crazy humor with a smidge of the character’s inner thoughts. If reading about gynecological procedures makes you uncomfortable, this may not be a fic for you. It doesn’t go into great detail, but it is mentioned and sheds a bit of light. If mentions of the ins and outs of fertility is a soft spot, please read with caution. It isn’t my intention to bring anyone down, but this story is based on parts of my own experiences. Again, the note will explain more.

Author/Personal Note: Okay. Where to start? So, as some of you may know throughout the past two years I’ve been getting cycles of iron infusions. This year, after making several complaints and an ER visit or two. I had an ultrasound performed, which led to me getting surgery months later (the procedure I had done recently). I’ve been spending my days at home recovering, and it’s given me time to reflect. Damn, it’s been a rough couple of years, but I’m so thankful through it all. It’s difficult having a plethora of health issues. This situation put so much added stress on top of it all. As a woman, hearing you have a fibroid. Learning it’s best to get it removed to protect your fertility is scary as hell. You get it done, get sent home, and though you have loved ones taking amazing care of you. It’s still a difficult, challenging process. At times, it’s lonely. No one but you can fully wrap your head around the emotions and feelings the body is going through. It’s pretty wild.

Anywho, sorry y’all. Let me stop rambling and get to the point. We all know how overactive my imagination is. Being stuck in bed, my mind has been wandering. I thought to myself why not take this experience and channel it into a fic. I’m hoping that this will also be a comforting story to anyone who’s been through the same experience. Here is a look at how I envision Rio taking in the experience with his lady. I plan to write at least two more parts for this. Happy reading my lovelies! I wrote this on a whim, in celebration of my birthday, so ignore the grammatical errors my loves. I may come back and do some more editing. Depends on how I’m feeling.

Word Count: 1,800+. 

Inspired By💜:

Random fun fact: Toni Braxton and I have the same birthday😆. Happy Birthday, Queen💓.

Everything was still as a deafening silence fell across the room. It was as if each occupant was afraid to utter a single word. Your mother pretended to distract herself with a Kindle book as your father paced the floor quietly. They’d share a glance each time they checked their watch, smiling at one another in comfort and reassurance. 

Then, together, they directed their attention toward the chair in the far right corner. It was tucked in a tight corner next to a window, giving little relief and comfort to your husband, Rio. He, too was anxious, but no one would ever know it. He was always able to still his facial features. Never one to give his emotions away. The only person who could read him wasn’t in the room. You were on the other side of the building and the reason for your families’ nervousness. No longer able to stand the constant glances and silence, Rio stood from his seat. He released a breath, rubbing his palms against his jeans. Turning to your parents, he stated, “I’m going to grab a quick cup of coffee from the cafeteria. Would you two like something?”

Your mother, a gentle, nurturing soul, responded for both of them.

“No, baby. We’re fine. Don’t worry. I’ll come find you if we receive news.”

Rio ducked away in a vacant spot in the cafeteria, hands folded over top of the steam of the coffee. He searched for peace and solace until a jolting vibration exploded in his jacket pocket. Fumbling for the phone, he answered without looking.

“What they say ma-. Oh, my bad. Wassup? Everything good?” Rio listened patiently before snapping. “You know this is something you could’ve handled yourself, right? I don’t have time for the three stooges bullshit today.”

He instantly felt a slight pang of guilt. Rio realized that the stress and worry of his current situation were influencing his mood. Taking a deep breath, he relaxed. Inhaling, he continued, “My bad bro. She’s been in for three hours, and it’s got me tweaking. Nobody’s giving us any damn answers. It’s a non-invasive procedure, but it’s still considered major surgery. I just need to hear she’s good.”

“It’s all good, boss. I know you’re worried about wifey. She’s a strong woman. Boss lady’s going to be alright. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything. Call me as soon as you know something,” Mick responded.

“You're right. Thank you for holdin’ shit down.”

He laid his phone on the table, burying his face in his hands. The last few moments he spent with you were on repeat in his mind. Rio returned to the present, hearing the chair opposite him slide backward. His eyes connected with your father’s, and he readied himself for wherever the conversation would go.

It was no secret that the two hadn’t always seen eye to eye. The two men sat for several minutes before your father started speaking.

“I’ll be honest with you, man. You’re not at all what I envisioned for my daughter.”

“You seriously want to have this conversation right now?”

“Now wait, son. Let me finish.”

Hold up. It’s son now? Where is this going? It didn’t even sound disrespectful. It doesn’t sound like he’s trying to play me on some sucka shit. I’ll hear him out.

Rio nodded his head, giving your father the floor.

“I may not know all you do for a living, son, but I know you’ve managed to make a comfortable and safe life for my baby girl. When it comes down to it, that’s what I’ve always wanted for her. It took me some time to come to terms with it, but I know, without a doubt, that you’re doing everything in your power to make her feel protected and loved. Let me just say what I’m getting at,” he chuckled. “You’re good at hiding it, son, but I know you’re worried. Hell, so are we, but that’s alright.”

Rio’s head dropped, shoulders slumping. He took the opportunity to be vulnerable finally. Your father’s acceptance allowed him the space to do so. He felt a comforting grip land on his shoulder. Your father finished, “Baby girl is going to be alright, son. With all your love and support, she’ll be back on her feet soon. Now, you take a few more moments to yourself. Don’t be surprised when her momma wraps you up in a big hug when you head back. She’s worried about her favorite son-in-law.”

Rio chuckled, “I’m her only son-in-law, sir.”

“Even better. You ain’t gotta share. That sweet woman sure knows how to smother people in love.”

“You’re daughter is the same way. It’s one of the many things I love about her.”

“Which is why you understand my reasons for being so guarded. That’s my baby girl. Enough with that ‘sir’ shit too. Call me pops. My son may not like that, but I get a kick out of irritating him anyway. He’s overprotective of his sister.”

“Y’all gon’ try to take me out if I ever mess up, huh?”

“What I look like snitching on myself? Let’s not ever get to that bridge, son.”

The two men shared a laugh, but everything turned serious when they saw your mom power walking towards them. Rio's heart began thudding in his chest.

“Ma, what’s wrong? Did-.”

“Relax, sugar,” she cooed, rubbing a hand against both men’s arms. “The nurse said the doctor should be ready to talk to us in about fifteen minutes. Let’s head back to the waiting room.”

Fifteen minutes came and went. Your mother couldn’t help but crack a smile at both men. They both started fussing about how long the surgeon was taking. She felt sorry for the man once he approached them. The doctor, attempting to apologize, was cut off by an impatient Rio.

“You good, doc. We understand these things take time, but excuse us for being anxious. We were under the impression this would be about an hour-long procedure. How’s my wife?”

The surgeon explained himself. “That’s what we anticipated, but the process took longer. Your wife’s last ultrasound a few months back showed a fibroid the size of a plum. Sadly, it grew to the size of an orange, which would explain why things grew more difficult during her last few cycles. However, you’ll be happy to know that we managed to do it laparoscopically, and everything looks great. She’s being taken to recovery now, but we’ve decided to keep her overnight.”

All three of your family members asked, “Why is that,” in unison.

“We just want to keep an eye on her for the next twenty-four hours. Given gas was used to see things more clearly, we’d like to monitor her. We’ll need to see that she gets up and walks to get things flowing. I just want to be sure she gets it moving out of her system. Also, since she’s anemic, we just want to be extra careful. I promise everything went well, and she should be ready to go in the morning.”

Each family member felt at ease. The trio waited for an invitation to your recovery room. Though he wanted to be the first person you saw when you woke up, Rio encouraged your parents to go first. The two visitors' only rule irritated them all.

Your eyes fluttered open, and your parents laughed at the slurred responses given to your nurse. Your parents took turns kissing your forehead, expressing encouraging words. Your father, now at ease, left the room in search of Rio.

“You might want to hurry back there. She’s still a bit loopy. Baby girl has been asking the nurse, where my husband? You got my baby acting ratchet in this hospital,” he joked.

“Aye, she was like that when I met her,” he laughed, walking towards recovery.

Rio slid behind the curtain, laying eyes on the most precious sight. You were in bed, laid back, eyes closed, singing off-key as your mother held your hand, laughing. The nurse stepped beside him, giving a small giggle.

“She’s been looking for you. Ma’am, the man of the hour is here.”

Your eyes popped open as you halted the song. “My husbannnd! Hey baeee,” you winced, given the pain and having a hoarse voice.

“Mama, you back here wildin’ ain’t you? How’s our little patient doing, ma,” he directed toward your mom.

“Crazy as ever. This girl opened her eyes, looked at me, and called herself whispering. Loud as ever, she asked me if she still had a uterus. Her daddy would’ve turned red if he were capable.”

They both shared a laugh as you did your best to shrug shoulders. Wanting to give you two privacy, your mom went to sit in the waiting room. Rio turned to you, holding your hand. His lips brushed across your knuckles, and he shivered at how cold they were. Wrapping his hand around yours, he tried warming the digits.

“My momma ain’t answer my question though,” you mumbled, eyes closed.

Rio smiled, “What’s that now, mama?”

“My uterus. Sis still in there, right?”

“Yes, darlin’. What makes you think it’s not?”

“I signed them papers, man. In the event of a ‘mergency, they were going to take shawty,” you sassed, words still slurring.

Rio did his best to hold back a cackle. Clearing his throat, he replied, “Mama, you straight. Everything went according to plan. There was no emergency. The fibroid is out. It was bigger than expected. That’s why it feels like you were out for a while.”

“Aight bet. So when we making babies,” you asked, wincing again.

“First off, sit still, mama. Your body is pretty sore right now.”

“Baby, I’m drugged up! I don’t feel nothin’.”

“Second. You’ll be recovering for four to six weeks. You’re not going to be in any type of mood for all that. I believe the surgeon said no sex for two to three weeks. No babies for at least six months, darlin’. They just sliced your uterus open and stitched it back together, mama,” he explained, running his thumb across your lip.

He laughed at the pout etched on your face. Rio caressed the side of your face, kissing you gently. “On some real shit. I was worried out my mind over you, mama. I’m so glad you’re good. You’re my world. The clock kept ticking, and I was about to lose it.”

Your eyes connected with his, “I’m right here, papa. I’m good. We gonna be good. No matter what,” you whispered. Even through the drugs and drowsiness, you could feel his angst. Rio could read between the lines. He knew what you were trying to communicate. It had been on both your minds heavily. Your eyes connected with his. Rio saw the unshed tears you were holding back, and he swallowed hard, nodding his head in agreement. No matter where this path led, Rio knew, in his heart, that he loved you with everything in him.

Baby or not, we’ll still feel fulfilled and happy. My life’s purpose is to love and give you the world.

This piece was both personal and therapeutic for me to write. I truly hope you all enjoyed it. Please be sure to comment and reblog, it's appreciated. Now I'm about to go eat some birthday cake and read some amazing fan fiction😆.

Divider credit💜 : @firefly-graphics

tagging💜 : @4everbrookemarie @darqchilddaydreamz @astoldbychae @sunshine-flower

@nightlywords7 @starrynite7114 @amorestevens @fineanddandy

@rio-reid-whoreee @that-one-anxious-mango @novaniskye

@alertyoulikeitsamber @1andonlytashae @lovedlover @blkbutterfly816 @banana123pudding

[inkyquince]

YOU MAKE ME WEEP 😭 I MISS YOU AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ON. can't wait for the semester to wrap up. but i did get a job for the summer hahaha!!

i'm trying to get pregnant by kylar or eden. so far i have FAILED.

honestly, i must ask how you would think wren would be as a parent. would love to hear any thoughts on that!!!

THIS GOT BURIED, IM SO SORRY!!

DW, we know how Eden and Kylar are. Non stop fuck nasty machines.

Okay, for Wren as a dad, it... Depends?

Like, does he like you as a fuck buddy or does he... Like you, like you? Like Like... Like Love Like?

Cuz if its the first one, I think the best you get is that he's going to be not present at all. Like he sends money, he's going to show up some days to absolutely dazzle your kid with a horse ride and presents and shit, and then won't come and visit for another 8 months. He's flighty as fuck, he's busy. Your kid will have his beautiful hair, maybe his soft brown eyes. Maybe your kid will always love him because he's the cool fun dad who spoils them when he does come around. Maybe they get disenchanted by him by the time they hit their teens. He doesn't pick up when they call, he doesn't come to important events. Maybe one day he comes by with a couple of presents and they flatly turn down going out for a day with him. You might get to watch his face fall a bit. Maybe just his eyes just get a bit duller.

Your kid goes off to hang out with friends and you and Wren get to have a drink together for the first time in ages, since his attention is normally on your kid, never you. He's down. Says he wants to do better. But you know him by now. So you just offer a pat on the back, and wonder if this is the last time you'll see him again, since he's finally been turned away by his kid, and has no reason to come back anymore.

NOW, if you're someone he actually fucking likes?

My god. Wants his annoying input in everything you do. Choosing a flat? "Sunshine, babycakes, darling, its cheaper to get a lil cottage out on the farmlands, and then I can come by every night after work and-" Deciding on a crib? "Sweetheart, muffin, angel face, let me see if i can get it handmade, never should trust the plastic shit, fuck, I slept in the top drawer for the first 3 months of my life, baby-" Like its cute, but shut up babe.

He's going to be in your damn life. Even if you say he can take a backseat, he's fucking taking that backseat out, taking out the gear stick and putting his seat there. Fuck you.

Somehow got into your phone to get a copy of important upcoming dates, and he skids into the ultrasound, all sweaty, just as you're getting your gown on.

He's going to be your fucking best friend in this. That's Wren as a lover, boyfriend, partner, it's as a best friend who really wants to get into your pants and deigns to bombard you with sloppy kisses just because he knows it makes you swat at him.

He would sometimes not show up days in a row, but it's never months. Just a few days, and he comes back with an oversized plush under his arm, or a stupidly big cake or something.

He loves that kid man. He's always gonna love his kid, but they aren't an afterthought anymore. He wants 50 more hours in the day, so he doesn't have to choose between work and his home.

Wren's also fucking terrified. He knows the town he lives in, its why he wanted you in the farmlands, not in town. Will beg you to consider homeschooling. In his perfect world, his kid never steps foot in town, and gets to grow up with nature, and feeling safe. Doesn't matter what age, he wants to be old as fuck, and have his 40 year old kid still at home and training horses or something.

Wren, overall, as a parent would love his kid. But his relationship with you would decide how much he wants to actually be there.

[igncrxntripley]

father’s day surprise

a/n: someone submitted this in an ask and i don’t know if i deleted it on accident or not but it’s gone so i’m posting it this way instead!

mentions: SFW, fem!reader, pregnant!reader, not kayfabe compliant

taglist: @thesithdiaries @cassiesgreta @roseheartsworld @theworldofotps @babybatlover @ripleyswhore @auburnwrites @obl1vionblackhart @emogoblin-666 @hereliespumpkin @embertargaryen @neptune-lover @bunnysmyname @i-have-issues-lol @ares-athena @thatonepansexual2000 @witcherfromwallachia @infamousvampcx @christinabae 

being parents was a very, very long term goal for yourself and dominik. 

of course you’d talked about it, and you decided that it was absolutely something you wanted for yourselves in the future. but with his current travel schedule and you having your own goals for the near future, you’d both decided it was better to wait. 

however, he was home from being on the road nonstop for weeks on end, one thing led to another, and you eventually found yourself in your bathroom holding a positive pregnancy test in your hand. 

even though it was a lot earlier than either of you had planned, you were still excited and you know dom would be too. and you had three people who you knew you wanted to enlist the help of in order to tell him. 

rhea, damian, and finn had not only grown extremely close to dominik, but they had also gotten close to you in return. they’d become incredibly important in your lives over the last year so it only made sense to not only include them in the planning of how you’d tell dom you were pregnant, but help them carry it out. 

with father’s day only being right around the corner, you knew it was the perfect opportunity. 

dominik had a house show that weekend and more than likely would either be at ringside for someone’s match, or would have a match of his own. you told him you planned on being there in the audience as well, but didn’t give much more detail other than you just wanted to be in town to watch him do what he loved. 

his match went really well that night, and he even ended up winning! you always loved getting to see him live his dreams in the ring, and you felt like one of the luckiest people in the world to be able to experience it by his side. 

after the match ended, all four members of the judgement day stood in the ring together to deliver a promo to their smaller, yet very enthusiastic audience. that was always the perks of being at a house show. 

rhea was the first to speak up; “now, not only is today a great day here at WWE because dom dom got a huge win tonight.” her statement was met with boos given dominik’s current status as a heel. he didn’t mind though. “today, is father’s day.”

dominik looked a little confused, but quickly erased it from his face so he could play along as rhea continued. “of course, i have to say happy father’s day to my latino heat, papi himself.” 

finn was the next to speak up. “and actually, dom, that’s not the only reason you’ll be celebrating father’s day from here on out.”

damian had helped you over the barricade and into the ring, and dominik immediately looked at you with shock. one hand held an ultrasound from your most recent doctor’s appointment, and the other rested gently over your belly. 

“really?” dominik asked with shock and joy, immediately coming towards you and lifting you in a hug as the crowd cheered. you held onto him just as tightly, sniffling into his neck as you celebrated this huge news. 

everything went perfectly. you and dominik got to celebrate the news of your little bundle of joy in front of the WWE universe, and you had the help of his three best friends to do it. you couldn’t have asked for anything else. 

[yes-divine-ruler]

Falling Pregnant with Kai Anderson’s Messiah (HCs)

based on a request by anon

Taglist/ @v-love @evanpetersfav @demxnicprxncess @kitwalkersgfff @quicksilversg1rl @dahmevan @charsdunkie @iruzias @alexxavicry @soaringcloud @laynna-mcknight @slimshadyvol2 @simp4petermaximoff @sultrysullen @evan4ever @maeveey

CW: kai is abusive at times

You and Kai had been thinking of having kids for a while. He was adamant that your relationship had gotten to the stage where you were ready to bring kids into this world.

When you’d finally fallen pregnant, Kai was ecstatic, vowing then and there that above all else you and your baby were his first priority.

“Did you take the test? Has it been 15 minutes yet?” Kai was almost pulling his hair out as he paced back and forth along the hallway, leaving you anxiously sitting on the toilet seat for your impending result. “Almost Kai, just another minute,” you reassured him, “please stop pacing you’re making me nervous.” Kai stops in his tracks, and comes back towards you, crouching down in front of you and taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry baby, I’m just nervous too,” he admitted, running his palms up and down your thighs, aiming to calm you and himself down. When the timer on your phone alerted you that the 15 minutes were up, you both looked at each-other, before standing to peer at the test on the bathroom sink. Tears filled your eyes, and a hand flew to cover your mouth as you spotted the faint second line in the test. Kai furrowed his eyebrows, not seeming to pick up on the second line, bringing the test up to his face to examine it. “Kai, honey, it’s positive,” you tell him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. He freezes under your tough, before turning to face you. For the first time, you got to experience Kai’s utter vulnerability. “Holy shit, we’re gonna be parents,” Kai spoke just above a whisper, before the test dropped to the floor, and he’d picked you up. With a shriek, you let him spin you around, before placing you securing back on the tiled floor. He knelt down without another word, lifting your top and pressing a soft kiss just above your navel. “I promise Y/N, to look after you both.” He looked up into your eyes with sincerity, before standing to kiss your lips.

Kai made your pregnancy a little easier. When you’d have the worst morning sickness in the world, and the strangest cravings at 2 in the morning, he’d be by your side with everything you needed. He was sweet, accomodating and didn’t let you come down to the basement for any reason - he couldn’t risk having you or his baby in any danger.

Kai would be at every ultrasound appointment, and always asked a million questions. He would listen to your OB, and take mental notes of the different stages of labour, and how to be there for you when it was time for you to experience it.

He was very weary of your diet and exercise routines, and would have to look over what you were eating before you could eat it. After all, this was his Messiah, and the baby had to be readily prepared for his crucial role in the world.

“Speedwagon! What the fuck is this!” Kai slammed his hand down on the table as Speedwagon wearily turned on his heels, his eyes wide in fear. “What is it, Divine Ruler?” His eyes followed Kai’s, and settled on the piece of steak he’d just cooked for you to eat. “How many times do I have to tell you? Meat cannot be even remotely raw! Do you hear me?” Kai spoke between clenched teeth, his jaw locked in anger, his pupils so dilated that the irises in his eyes has been swallowed by them. Speedwagon took a nervous gulp, nodding his head in shame, “I’m sorry, I’ll make sure it stays on for longer next time.”

He even agreed to come to couple’s antenatal classes, and would sit by you with his hand in yours and listen intently as your educator spoke on newborn baby behaviours and breastfeeding your baby. He took it all with a grain of salt, because he thought he knew what was best for your baby.

After 20 weeks, Kai anxiously sat by your side at your gender confirmation appointment, gazing with wide eyes over at the monitor as you listened to the soft sounds of your baby’s heart beat. The technician moved the gel across your stomach, and when your baby turned over, her eyes widened at her discovery. “I don’t know if you can both see that,” she placed her finger on the screen, “but congratulations, you’re having a boy.” You knew Kai always wanted to have a son, and the tears in his eyes affirmed that when he faced you with a big smile. He had to force his excitement down so he didn’t scream in the clinic and startle everyone. Placing kiss after kiss on your cheek in adoration, he whispers in your ear “it’s a boy Y/N, our boy.”

The final month of your pregnancy was the hardest, but every night Kai made sure you were comfortable and he’d rest his hand and his ear on your stomach and feel and listen for the baby. He spoke soft words to him, sometimes too quiet for you to hear, but you’d suspected it might have something to do with world domination.

Kai tried to convince you to have a home birth, where he’d let you pick any maternity nurse you wanted. You were terrified of the thought of birthing a baby without an epidural, and after a screaming match in your shared bedroom, Kai agreed that your comfort came first over his preferences.

Kai was a sucker for baby clothes, and every time he left the house, he’d come back with another outfit to add to the baby’s fast growing collection in his nursery. Especially tiny socks. Who knew that such a man could be so infatuated with tiny clothes.

You’d both agreed on the crib, the change table, and the colour on the walls of your nursery, Kai being particularly persuasive with his choices and you just going along with it to make things easier. Jack and Harrison worked together to paint the baby’s room, and Kai breathed down their necks the whole time to make sure nothing was half-assed.

A week from your due date, Kai had your hospital bag packed, and sent you a message every 15 minutes when he was out of the house to make sure you were okay. It was beginning to become tiring, his constant badgering, but you knew it was just because he cared.

You stood by the sink, washing the dirty dishes when you suddenly felt a wet stream cascade down your leg. Dropping the plate you were holding in surprise, you took a step back, observing what you might’ve spilled on your leg. “Oh my god I’ve pissed myself,” you mumble to yourself, waddling to the other side of the kitchen to retrieve some paper towel. You almost didn’t make it, when a sharp pain jolted your stomach causing you to grab onto the kitchen counter and try and compose yourself. “Kai!” You screamed, not being able to even open your eyes from the explosion of blinding whiteness in your head. Kai was quick to reach you, skipping every second stair to be by your side as quick as possible. “Baby, are you okay?” He asks, peering over your shoulder to the puddle on the floor behind you. “I don’t know what’s going on, I think I’m getting contractions,” “your water broke, we need to get you to the hospital.”

Kai tried to keep his cool during the birth, but everything agitated him, especially the male doctor that kept pressing on your stomach and checking to see how dilated you were. That was his girl, and his baby, and the other male in the room had no place there.

Even though you were the one giving birth, you spent most of the time consoling Kai and telling him it was okay, and that it’ll be over soon, and you’ll probably never see this doctor again.

He might have squeezed your hand a little too tight when you were finally crowning and the baby was born. He spent the whole time, in a scrubs and a hair net, admiring your strained face, and kissing the perspiration from your forehead.

That was until the baby was finally out, and he cut the umbilical cord and cried tears of joy at the reveal of his son. He was just so perfect.

Kai spent every waking moment over the next few days in the chair by your hospital bed, holding your baby skin on skin, cooing at his little breaths and cries and rocking him when you were too exhausted to open your eyes.

He’d taken note in antenatal classes, because Kai knew when your baby was hungry and when he was fussy and when he was tired or needed changing.

When you were finally back home, and Kai brought your baby inside in his tiny cradle, everyone fawned over how cute he was. Kai was strict, he didn’t let anyone touch his baby, unless it was you or him. Winter even had to wait until the baby was older to get her share of her nephew.

Kai was so great during your pregnancy, but afterwards, he didn’t seem to fully be aware of how much work it might take.

“Y/N! Can you get that? He’s crying again,” Kai sat behind his desk in the basement, snacking on a bag of crisps, running over his next big plan. You were so drained, hardly having gotten any sleep the last few weeks, that it turned quickly into anger. “Kai! Why don’t you get him? You haven’t even changed a single diaper!” You complaints were becoming more of a cry for help. Kai stared at you with wide eyes now that’d you’d spoken back to him, his fists clenching on the surface of his desk. He was getting angry, and it was because you as the mother should be the one responsible for looking after your son, not him. “Y/N, shut him up before I lose my shit!” Kai shoves a stack of papers off his desk and they fall in the floor in a scattered mess. Startled, and not used to seeing Kai so angry towards you, you gulp and nod, ascending the stairs to tend to your baby.

It only got worse after that day. You went to bed every night after tending to your baby in a defeated heap, crying to hope it’ll alleviate some of the pain you were feeling inside.

Kai had gotten progressively angrier, more stern and cold, and you weren’t sure why. You’d look at all the pairs of tiny socks in your baby’s nursery and cry wishing that Kai was as good as he used to be.

He’d come home late at night and get into bed beside you, facing away from you and drifting to sleep in an instant. He never asked how you were, or how you were coping. And if he ever did speak to you, it had everything to do with him.

He held his son in his lap most days, rocking him and playing with him when his eyes opened. As soon as he got fussy, Kai handed him straight back to you, letting you deal with your son only when he was upset.

“Kai! I’m taking him and leaving, I can’t do this anymore,” you sob, feverishly packing a bag, your baby already strapped into his carry cradle. Kai only laughed, before picking up a fist of your packed clothes and throwing them to the ground. You’d just pack more, almost not being able to see out of your blurry eyes. “You’re not going anywhere, you’re not taking my fucking son away from me!” He bellowed, waking your baby from his peaceful sleep. The baby screamed and cried at the sudden noise, and Kai only looked at you expecting you to comfort him. “He’s our son, Kai, not yours, I’m not a slave!” You scream back, finally picking up your baby and trying to soothe him. “He’s my fucking messiah, he’d be nothing if it wasn’t for me!” If looks could kill, you’d definitely be dead, as Kai’s eyes burnt into the side of your head. You refused to look at him, rocking your baby and patting his back as you hiccuped from your own sobs. “This is fucking ridiculous, you look so pathetic, you don’t even try anymore! Look at you!” Kai left the room, and not without slamming his fist against the door on his way out.

After your fight, you were holding on by a thread, almost despising bringing a child into this world with Kai. For him to belittle you, make you feel insecure after giving birth to his son, was the worst thing that could’ve ever happened.

Kai began to come around after a week, maybe it was because he thought his actions through. He couldn’t be like his dad was to him, or his own mother.

One day it all changed, and instead of pushing you awake to tend to your baby in the middle of the night, Kai got up on his own, and even changed his first diaper.

You’d woken up the next morning to Kai and your now 4 month old on his tummy on the play mat in the living room, and Kai was trying to help him roll over. The sight almost made all the pain go away, or maybe now that you’d gotten a full nights sleep, you were feeling more clearheaded.

“Hey Y/N,” Kai gave you a small smile, his forefinger held by your son in his own tiny hand. You gave him a small smile back before navigating to the kitchen to make yourself a coffee. “Babe! I brewed the coffee, it’s hot,” Kai called out to you, and your smile didn’t waver. The last few months had been the hardest you’d ever had to endure, but Kai’s kind words this morning almost made it all fade away. You poured yourself a coffee, before heading to the living room to sit on the sofa. Kai joins you, pulling you into his lap. It surprises you, since you’d hardly gotten a kiss recently. Kai pulls down the collar of your shirt gently to access the skin on your shoulder, sweeping soft kisses across it. You eyes close to savour the feeling. Love, something you hadn’t felt in months. “I’m sorry,” Kai mumbles against your shoulder, “you’re so beautiful, you always have and always will be my queen bee.” You turn to face him, your eyes filled with happy tears. He captures your lips in a soft kiss, and before it gets too heated, you pull away. “I’ve booked dinner for us tonight, I think we should go out, I’m letting winter look after the baby.” He said suddenly, and your heart skipped a beat in excitement. He was finally coming around, and making you feel worthy the way you deserved.

The date followed with mind blowing sex, where Kai was almost begging to have another baby already. You told him he’d have to prove himself before you have another and plus, you’d have to wait for your body to heal properly.

[givethemsmut]

Dom Mysterio x Reader

Chapter Sixteen | Where It All Started…

Dom was packing his bags while fixing his eyes on me as I sat next to his suitcase on the bed. He was leaving again and I had no choice but to stay put.

He hadn’t budged on letting me come on the road and it only drove my mind mad. I over thought everything until the only possible reason could have been secretive. Malice. Maybe even painful.

My bump was still small, still barely showing past looking bloated.

Dom flipped the top once he was done, zipping the suitcase and standing at the edge of the bed. “I don’t wanna leave on bad terms.”

I let my hand cover his. It was genuine but a small part of was still filled with fear still. “You aren’t. You have to work and I’ve always known that. It comes with the package.”

Easier said than done.

Dom’s phone buzzed against the bed causing us both to look down at the screen. I saw Rhea’s name flash on the screen before I turned my attention away from him.

Slipping off the bed I tried to act too busy, untrained or interested in Rhea texting him. They were best friends but the chemistry was so tangible it made me insecure sometimes.

“It’s just Rhea,” he shouted like I fled.

Ignoring his justification I went into our closet. Dom was leaving and all the ways I hated that were hard to ignore. I realized how strong Dom’s mom was in this moment, constantly living alone in a big house and keeping life moving while her husband traveled the world.

I felt a sharp pain drag through my stomach when I folded over in pain. “Dom,” I cried out almost panicked.

Standing in our closet doorway he took one look at me and rushed to my side. Squeezing his hand I tried to focus on that inside of the cramp rolling through me. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“I don’t know what happened. Probably just my body adjusting.” Taking a big breath in and out I tried to regain composure as the pain let up little by little.

Dom dialed and held the phone pinched between his shoulder and cheek. “I need to make an appointment for my wife. She’s having cramping and pain.”

I didn’t want to like the word wife coming from his lips but I did. It was hard not to. It was hard to feel just like a girlfriend when our entire lives were entangled.

“We’ll take it. Thanks,” Dom hung up the phone before dialing another number. “I’m gonna be late. I have to take the next flight. My wife is having cramps, we gotta see the doc.”

“You can’t miss your flight. I’ll be okay. Just go.” I stood up right pretending it didn’t even happen and smiling so he knew it was okay to leave. We didn’t need anymore problems, let alone ones that affected his job.

“Get some pants on. OB office in 15. I want to make sure our baby is okay. I’m just gonna change my flight quick.” He kissed my head and left me in our closet. Everything about him put us first and every part of me fighting it for so long felt horrible.

Arriving at the office felt too real. Suddenly my heart raced, the pain I felt wasn’t ignorable, and my hands started to shake at the reality. I could have stressed too hard, I could have been the reason for the pain.

Dom checked in for me when another wave of cramps took over. They didn’t have us wait to be called and my heart dropped into my ass wondering why.

Taking my clothes off I laid on the cold table with my legs separated for the internal ultrasound. All it took was one sentence to ruin the happiness.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t hear a heartbeat.” She said it confidently but with empathy the way someone should.

I immediately felt my eyes well up and the stupidity of fighting with Dom vanished. He bent down covering me in kisses, “It’s okay. We’ll try again. I’m sorry, baby.”

The nurse gave us privacy to mourn before someone else came into the room with information on a miscarriage, a prescription for antibiotics like I needed protection from my own body, and resources for dealing with loss.

I felt broken, physically broken, enough that everything seemed dulled and blurred around me. I had lost our baby at 4 months.

Dom did most of the talking when she asked to make a follow up and I couldn’t stop crying. Holding onto his hoodie I walked with him silently, trying to hold myself together and retracing steps for a reason why this happened.

it was like he could read my mind when he got behind the wheel. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. The stress. We’ll try again as soon as they say we can.”

I didn’t even turn to glance at him. Instead I stayed still and silent.

Pulling into our driveway he didn’t make any moves to get out and neither did I. “Pack a bag. I’m not leaving you here. I’m not agreeing to a storyline either. I’m getting you a plane ticket now. We’ll follow up with a doc at WWE.”

“I’m fine, Dom. I can stay home like I always do. I’ll be okay.” I whispered, defiantly.

“Mi amore, were you listening to the doctor? You’re going to be in pain, bleeding, you can’t be alone. You’re coming with me so pack a bag. We’ll figure this out together.”

Everything from watching Dom pack my suitcase, to his mom texting me, to the cramps piercing through the numbness. I was packed and on a plane before I could process anything. Once we touched down in Ohio I thought I would feel better but I couldn’t do anything but think of how messed up everything was.

“We have a bus but we can stay in a hotel if you want. We’re with Judgement Day until our bus is here tomorrow. Just one night. I have two promos tonight, no wrestling. Mi amore? You heard?”

Dom’s voice sounded close when I finally turned to him in the rental car. “Whatever you want,” I whispered before I looked out the window again.

“We can try again, baby.”

He meant well but he didn’t understand how much of a failure I felt like. Just his eyes boring into me felt like judgement I knew he didn’t have in him. I gave him hell for loving me and this felt like punishment too.

“Okay. When can I see a doctor?” The cramps weren’t getting easier and the meds she gave me in the office weren’t helping yet.

Parking the car at the venue he said I could leave my bags so I did. Taking my hand tightly he kept me close by until we got inside. That was when his hand fell away and the tougher version of Dom came out to play.

That version was reserved for competition, asserting his power, and in the off chance he had to defend me.

[ flashback ]

The first time we had sex I got pregnant and his mom kept my secret. 

She knew better than us, neither of needed to derail our lives more than we already intended to. Dom was a football player who had talent and knew he would be an athlete of some nature. I was just as lost as when his family took me in.

I refused to be the girl who attached herself to his life, disregarding my own entirely. I was always determined to be something more than damaged goods.

After that everything seemed to change. I became hellbent on making Dom hate me enough to stop loving me. Cue my high school boyfriend Blaine.

He was a horrible person. The definition of Mr. Popular even down to being a bully to everyone who he deemed not worthy. 

I tried not to care and that left Dom protecting me a lot. Flexing that tougher exterior. It wasn’t until the senior ski trip that I saw Dom be something worse. He was ready to kill for me and that’s when I knew he had what it took for WWE. 

He toyed with the idea but didn’t want to act his way between the athletics. He didn’t think he had what it took to create a persona but I saw it formulate before anyone else.

Senior ski trip was three days in Big Bear with limit supervision, our treat for behaving at our private school. Everyone loaded on the buses and Blaine bullied the group sitting in the back to move just for us. 

“Need that privacy, ya know bro?” He winked at Dom without ever realizing our own history. 

Dom forced a chuckle before slapping his hand back. Marie was by his side with his arm around her neck and I had to force myself to not react. Sitting down next to Blaine he whispered, “I got candy. What kind do you want baby?”

Blaine’s football season was over and was already promised the world after we graduated, caring about partying went out the window. The baggie was filled with all kind of pills and gummies. 

“Something light. I just need to sleep until we get there.” I held out my hand when his fingers dug into my cheeks and forced my mouth open. Feeding me two pills, I didn’t ask questions. I was self loathing, self sabotaging and wanted no saving.

That wasn’t stopping Dom. 

Our eyes linked and I could see the disappointment all over his face. Instead of whispering I’m sorry I simply looked out the window instead. 

I fell asleep against the window and when I woke up my neck was killing me. Blaine was already grabbing his stuff and making his way off the bus when Dom just starred me down. “Your boyfriend probably has something for that too.”

“You mean your best friend? Isn’t there some kind of rule about that?” I quipped before breezing by him between the seats. 

“I’m pretty sure you fucked me first, sweetheart. Pretty sure that makes you shitty, not me.”

Ignoring Dom’s insults I followed Blaine into the lobby of the five-star hotel. Our teachers who were here with us divided up the keys before Blaine volunteered to do that for them. Scoring us the biggest rooms close to each other and having everyone else fight over doubles. 

Our room was the size of a suite, with a hot tub, deck and perfect view of the cold mountains. We were California kids used to the perfect weather; not the freezing cold but no one could deny how beautiful it was.

The pills seemed to be wearing off when I fished a bottle of vodka out of my bag and started pouring shots for our group of friends. 

Marie was doe-eyed, innocent, displaced. Dom was just trying to soak up the innocence when we both knew he had a dark side. One that was willing to fuck me with his mom downstairs. 

Marie declined and Dom followed suite. “We just got here. Might wanna let the pills wear off.”

Tossing back the shot I pivoted on the ball of my foot, pulling my shirt off in front of everyone just to hurt Dom for his remark. “Blaine, I’m gonna shower.”

Pushing my lounge pants down I exposed the thong I had on with the lace bra to match before closing the door behind me. 

“Don’t mind her. She’s just pissed Laura texted me some nudes.” I could hear Blaine not whispering through the door while I waited for a hint to Dom’s reaction.

“What the fuck man. She’s practically my sister and you’re cheating on her?” Dom shouted and I could feel the tension against the door. 

Calm as ever Blaine responded, “She’s already fucking you, right?” There was a pause Blaine was famous for before he continued, “Don’t give me the brother act. I’m not stupid. Don’t worry, I’m not dumping her. She’s hot, she doesn’t care who watches, she’s a good ass time.”

Dom didn’t respond, or not loud enough to hear, when I gave up and went to actually shower. The hot water felt like it could give me new life if I tried hard enough.

I was pregnant with Dom’s baby. I could have just given in, been his wife and mother of his child. I could have just been happy but every trauma response in my life screamed otherwise. 

I didn’t realize anyone came in until I saw Dom standing outside the shower. I jumped out of my skin before grabbing for the towel and stepping out while the water collided with the tile. 

“What the fuck are you doing? Getting half naked out there in front of everyone?” He said it like it wasn’t a weekly occurrence. 

“And every other weekend was okay? Or only okay when Miss Innocent isn’t there to see it?” Barely holding up the towel I walked over to the mirror, checking my eyes for black circles. 

“Why are you doing this? You don’t need to get fucking naked and trashed every weekend.” His body pinned me against the vanity, hands clutching the counter on either side of me and looking at my reflection. 

“Because I want to, Dom. It feels good. Don’t be jealous I can lose control while you pretend to be perfect.” I pushed my ass against him trying to escape when he might as well felt like stone. 

“Lose control, huh? The pills, the booze, the bruises, the way everyone has seen your fucking body is the goal? So you can fuck everyone but me, right, mi amore?” His mouth was tight, eyebrows slanted down into rage and any control I had was gone. Long gone.

“Because I’m such a slut, right? Blaine tells me everything, Dom. I know exactly what you think.” I twisted around to face him instead. 

His hand snuck up me, wrapping around my neck. “Call it as I see it, sweetheart. I hear all about those fucked up gang bangs.”

I did everything I could to make Dom jealous, hurt him, including letting other guys but Blaine touch me. Blaine encouraged his friends to touch my body while we made out, encouraged other guys to watch. It was something I always managed to escape before it got to actually sex with Blaine. Dom always left before then.

“You mean the ones you never stay for because you’re dating Miss Perfect?” 

“She’s not a slut.” His hand around my throat tightened and I was forced to not fight it. His dark side was pissed and I was about to be punished for it.

“Like me?” 

“We fuck. We don’t need an audience.” 

I laughed around his hard constricting my air. Letting the towel fall down between us I was completely naked against him. “Sounds boring. Why don’t you live a little this weekend? Try paying attention to me less.”

Blaine didn’t bother knocking when he came in. Dom was forced to drop his hand and I scrambled for my towel. “Practically your sister, huh?” 

Blaine walked over to me, pushing Dom further away before slipping his tongue in my mouth. “I mean goddamn, I can’t blame you, brother. Look at these tits… perfection.” 

My boyfriend urged me on the countertop while his mouth hungrily found mine. Tossing his phone to Dom he pulled away only long enough to make demands. “Record this for me, bro. I want to remember this weekend.”

Blaine was pushing his joggers down when I pressed my palm against his chest. I couldn’t stay Dom’s and keep the facade going if he stayed to record us. “Stop Blaine. Not with him here.”

His mouth kept kissing my neck and I could feel him tugging me to the edge more. His hard on rubbing my thigh while I stayed so still it hurt. 

“That’s the only time you give it up - when he’s around. Well, he’s around now, baby girl. Come on. I’ve been patient enough for that pussy.” Blaine’s words were the kind of sharp cruelty that hurt so much more. “You can fuck him next baby. I just want first shot.”

Dom was so heated he was stiff, fists balled up and his eyes focused on Blaine. “Enough. Fucking stop.” He grabbed Blaine by the shirt and pushed him across the bathroom before shaking off his flannel to give me to cover up.

Pushing my arms through his shirt I wrapped it around me. “Dom, it’s fine. I can handle myself. Just go back to Marie.”

His eyes saddened and went up in flames all at once. “Are you fucking serious?”

Without any questions Dom left the bathroom and returned to his girlfriend. I knew I had to prove Dom had nothing to do with when I pursued my own boyfriend.

“Now that we’re alone… Fuck him. We fucked one time when we were kids. Now he thinks he owns me. We both know he doesn’t. Let’s do some shots.”

Taking him by the hand I lead him to the bedside table where I dropped the bottle of vodka. With a big swig I slipped onto the bed, the flannel completely opened exposing my body and I let my legs fall open for him.

I had no choice but to live up the facade now. Blaine wasn’t going to keep me around for no reason and I needed him buffer Dom.

“Don’t fucking play with me. I’m too high right now.” His hand smoothed up my legs and his body filled the space between my legs.

“I’m not playing… you’ve been patient enough.” Every part of cringed, fighting the urge to push him off me entirely.

His mouth nipped at mine before his tongue slipped against mine. “I’m not taking no for an answer tonight. I don’t care if Dom is watching or not.”

Blaine was a statue found in Greece. Sleek muscles, blonde messy hair, these ocean eyes that felt moody, and all the confidence to make every ounce of him hurt. I should be attracted to him but I wasn’t.

He wasn’t Dom. No one was.

The way I blacked out every second with Blaine was a blessing. I didn’t want to remember how fooling around was with him, doing everything but what he wanted.

After a long nap I woke up to a party in our hotel suite, everyone drinking and the music loud enough to mute the moral high ground. Putting on a bikini I slipped Dom’s shirt on again.

Blaine was flirting with some girl when I scored a solo cup of some undisclosed liquor. I didn’t care about the party when I made my way out to the hot tub to see Dom out on the deck by himself. “No girlfriend?”

“Apparently our closeness makes her uncomfortable. Go figure.” His head snapped in my direction while I shook off his shirt and handing it to him. “You fucked him?”

Ignoring his question I dipped into the hot tub teasing Dom when I took my top and bottoms off in the water. Dom got undressed, down to his boxers, before he got in the hot tub. Boxing me in he whispered, “All the boozes and pills helping you forget he ain’t me?”

“Maybe I don’t want you… anymore…” I whispered while he sat down next to me and helped me into his lap. 

“Then maybe remember his name instead of mine the next time you fuck.” His jaw was locked in a kind of angry that was wrapped in makings sure I knew he knew everything. 

That ski trip Marie broke up with Dom and my relationship with Blaine ended when he found someone who would go all the way with him. Dom and I never talked about how I moaned his name behind closed doors with another man, about his breakup, or the fact that I spent all weekend in his bed instead of Blaine’s.

That weekend Dom helped me wean myself off of the pills and boozes. Every sobering moment I realized how much Dom was always going to be the one person I had a hard time letting myself love.

[seiya-starsniper]

Another omegaverse forced marriage snippet? 👉👈

YES ALWAYS. This is like the one WIP I have mostly done so it's easy to pick out snippets lmao. I'm going to pick a happier-ish snippet from the doc!

“Look I know that you have no reason to believe me, but I really mean it,” the alpha says, sounding sincere for the first time since Dream has known him. “From this day forward, my focus is on Dream and our baby, I swear it. If—if you want me to be involved, that is,” he adds hastily as if suddenly realizing that his input may not be welcome at all, even if they are married. Lucienne turns back to look at Dream. “Is that what you want?” she asks. It is, Dream realizes, and he finds himself nodding. Lucienne looks both disappointed and relieved. She sighs and squeezes his hands one more time, before she stands up straight and faces Robert, her shoulders squared as if ready to fight him. Robert himself seems to cower, and the sight of his alpha husband being bullied by his beta best friend and doctor is almost comical. “He has a weekly check-up every Wednesday at 11:00,” Lucienne says matter-of-factly. “We are going to start ultrasounds this week. Don’t be late.” And with that she strides out of the room, leaving Dream alone with his husband.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! You said that you need another vacation after this vacation, so I am not sure, how puppy situation, even if it partual custudy, affecting you ( may be you in panic when he is there and then recovering when he is not, and then round and round? ), but really, If you need another vacation, I hope you know we will be here to support you for it!

It's been nearly 4 weeks now since we got Toby so I feel like I can talk about this with a bit of a clear head.

(Talk of like an actual PTSD meltdown beneath the read-more, including self-harm mention - nothing graphic. There's zero obligation for anyone to read this, especially for folks who don't think authors should ever be honest about being people with issues):

So, I've been kind of quiet about aspects of this, but I have like severe treatment-resistant PTSD and C-PTSD, and puppies specifically are one of my triggers (especially if I'm responsible for them). The reason for that is kind of awful, and I don't really want to talk about some of the things I've experienced/been through that led to that, so let's just move onto the next part. You're kind of right anon, there has been panic while he is here lol.

As a result, I had a severe meltdown the first time I tried to adopt a dog many years ago now. Could not last 24 hours, needed weeks/months to recover.

But I've always wanted to share my life with a dog and I've been in a somewhat better space over the past year or so, and I thought I could maybe handle it better. I told myself 'if I can just get through that 24 hours I'll realise it's okay and it will all work out.' Anon I cannot tell you where this thinking came from, but it was wrong. Idk why past me was kind of naive enough to think this way but here we are.

No, after that 24 hours, it got temporarily better, and then I slammed into consecutive meltdowns, each one worse than the next, until the people around me were afraid for my life. I am still recovering from some of the harm I inflicted on myself during the last three weeks and likely will be for some time to come. The combination of a really intense PTSD relapse, as well as not being able to handle (as an AuDHD person) intense changes to my schedule basically compounded and I broke.

I made the decision to rehome Toby, and first contacted the people around me. Glen's mum said she wanted a dog, and had been specifically looking into dogs like Toby anyway, and so we decided this would be best because then I could still be involved (I love Toby to pieces).

After getting some space, I finally started to adjust, and have gone back to having Toby about 4~ days a week, with a view to going to about 6 days, with one day spent with my mum, or Glen's mum.

Today is the first day I was able to handle having him on my own for around 9.5 hours. And I'm here and able to write about it, so that's progress. He'll be here all day Sunday, and then Tues-Weds-Thurs-Friday. And from there a decision will be made as to where I'm at with my mental health etc.

I'm a bit more hopeful now that I might be able to keep him, but my PTSD is still very very bad. I'm having some nights where I'm simply not sleeping until 7.30am (even if he's not here), and my hypervigilance is crazy. Like, I am having so many auditory flashbacks it's stupid. So this is why I've been saying this break hasn't been very restful or productive. Because my mental health tanked like I detonated a landmine inside myself.

I didn't actually plan the two week break for Toby! That was just a coincidence honestly.

Unfortunately I have a lot of health conditions that respond very poorly to stress, so I'm dealing with those now too. And then additionally, in all of this, I had a breast scan / mammogram / ultrasound that has confirmed a suspicious lump I found a couple of months ago (breast cancer runs in the family), and I suspect I'm going to need a biopsy. I'll find out on Monday if that's the case. That's been in the background and hasn't been helping.

There's some other stuff going on that's not really worth talking about because these are the main things, but that's a good picture I think. It turns out 'just getting through the first 24 hours' doesn't magically make a severe PTSD trigger go away. And that forced exposure is not 'exposure therapy' - that's just reinforcing a trigger.

Anyway! I feel like I'm through the worst of it, and I am seeing glimpses of how my life could be richer if I keep getting through this. But...that's why I think another break. *smiles tiredly.* I have to wait a bit now for the PTSD / C-PTSD symptoms to settle down, and I also need to see what's kind of worsened after this. Realistically, with a relapse to this degree, it could take between 3-6 months to really start recovering, or to at least get back to where I was before December.

I hope with all my heart I can get there with Toby by my side. I love him so much.

(I want to add that Toby has never ever been in a position of harm at any point, and in fact I probably put myself in harm's way for his sake, because I wanted to provide solid continuity of care - in case anyone was worried about that).

Er so yeah! But I've picked up my writing again this week and have been able to do some like...things I'd been neglecting, and I feel more human again, I just hope I get some sleep tonight

[ichijager13]

A part of you and I

established relationship, aged-up characters, married couple, pregnancy announcement, fluffy stuff.

A/N: This is just me having a baby fever and a massive crush on Eren Jäger.

You have been restless since you came from your appointment with your doctor. You glanced at your watch for the umptieth time this evening. you spent the afternoon making and decorating the celebration cake. You have already set the table and got dressed. Eren, your husband should be home any minute now. For some reason you were nervous. You have already discussed the matter with him and you both agreed you are ready for having kids. But talking and actually discovering you are pregnant were two different things. Pregnant, you love the sound of the word. You love the feeling and the thought of having a soul growing inside of you. a part of you and of the man you love. You have asked your doctor, who happens to be Mikasa your husband’s best friend and colleague not to tell him anything. You wanted to surprise him, hence the cake and the dress you wore.

You were checking your watch once again when you heard the door crack open, the sound of the keys being tossed, your dog jumping happily and playing with his master, and the usual “Honey, I’m home”.

“Good evening, dear”. You greeted helping him shrug off his coat. “How was your day?”

“Good evening my love, I had an excellent day”. he pressed his lips to yours. “You look wonderful, and you smell so nice”. He whispered in your ear making your face brighten. He left a couple of wet kisses on your neck before pulling back. “Are we celebrating something?” He inquired holding you in his arms. Smiling sheepishly, you nodded before peppering his lips and cheeks with kisses. “Care to explain?” without a word you guided him to the kitchen.

Still smiling you served two slices of cake with a cup of coffee for him and tea for you before taking place at the table next to him.

“I have wonderful news”. Your heart was pounding against your ribcage and your blood was rushing through your veins. You baited your lower lip. “In a few months, another member will join our family. I’ve seen Mikasa today and she confirmed it”. you took his hand in yours. “We will become parents, Eren”. His eyes grew wider and a slow smile crept up his lips. You have always believed that he looks splendid when smiling. “Do you wanna see it?” he bobbed his head vigorously. You handed him the ultrasound.

You stood behind him with your arms wrapped around his shoulders. You breathed in the comforting scent of his citrus cologne and aftershave. He slowly caressed the images. It felt surreal to him, you have been trying for four months now. Knowing that he will soon become a father, that you are carrying the product of your love, his baby, left him speechless. He wanted to say something, to tell you how happy he feels. He wanted to communicate his joy, to describe it but failed to find the proper words to verbalize it.

“I can’t believe it”. his voice was barely audible. “Finally”. When he finally tore his eyes from the ultrasound and looked up at you, you felt your heart speeding and butterflies gushing in your stomach. His eyes were shining. With trembling hands, he reached for your face. “Thank you, my love”. he breathed before his lips met yours for a sweet kiss. “This is the most precious thing you can offer me”. he spoke voice filled with emotions; he pulled you onto his lap before kissing you again. This time the kiss was longer and more passionate. “You can’t imagine how happy I am, how long I have been waiting for this moment”. He pressed his forehead against yours. You can feel him smiling against your lips and this made you feel overwhelmed. “I’m going to be a father, the father of your child”. You nodded. “I love you”.

“I love you too”. You replied before exchanging other kisses. You remained like this for a while kissing and hugging each other.

“Who else knows?” he asked both hands cupping your rosy cheeks.

“Only Mikasa”. You caressed his jawline still smiling. “I wanted you to be the first one. I’ll call my parents and yours tomorrow”. You buried your face in the crook of his neck. His warmth and strong arms around you always make you feel safe. One of his hands caressed your hair softly as he continued to whisper sweet nothings in your ear and nibble your lobe and neck. “Let me preheat your coffee, you have been out the whole day in this cold”. You plant another kiss on his lips before you pull away.

“The cake is delicious”. He commented taking another bite. “Future papa, future mama”. He read what you wrote with chocolate. “The most beautiful and sweet mama”. He caressed your face when you refilled his cup of coffee.

[heroloverangel]

Double the Fun

Fatgum is best dad don’t @ me.

Being pregnant sucks, you’ve come to realize. You’re only eight weeks along and already you’re ready for this to be over. You’re constantly nauseous. Your clothes are uncomfortably tight around your middle. You’re sore and tender in so many places you can’t imagine how you’ll survive nine whole months of this.

You wanted this, you remind yourself as Taishiro helps you get comfortable in the exam room. There’s nothing in the world you wanted more than to start a family with him a few months ago, and he’d been so happy he’d cried when that pregnancy test came back positive. Now you’re waiting to get your first ultrasound and seriously wondering if you should have just gotten a puppy instead.

“Toyomitsu,” the doctor is annoyingly cheerful when he greets you and begins checking your blood pressure. “How have things been going lately?”

“Uggggghhhhhhh,” you whine dramatically, flopping back against the padded headrest.

Fatgum takes over for you. “It’s been awful, doc. She’s eating like she’s tryin’ to dethrone me in a contest but just throws it all up later. Is that normal?”

“Increased appetite and frequent nausea are to be expected, it’s nothing to be concerned about.”

“Okay but it’s feeling a little excessive now,” you argue. “And I’ve gained ten pounds already, isn’t that kind of a lot?” You watch the older man scratch out a few notes on your file, nodding slowly.

“I have some ideas, but I’d like to get a look at the ultrasound first if you don’t mind.”

You’re a little comforted that he doesn’t look worried, and you’ve been eagerly anticipating this visit for weeks. “Yeah, that’s fine.” A few minutes later there’s a cold gel slathered all over your middle and the magic wand running along your stomach. “You’ll tell us if you see anything weird, right?” The doctor nods and taps a few buttons. Beside you, you hear Taishiro’s breathing stop as the image comes into view and you get your first look at your child. There’s not much to see yet, at this point it’s more of a vague blob than anything actually human-shaped, but that’s not the point. “Oh my god,” you say quietly. Suddenly all the discomfort you’ve been feeling vanishes as you stare at the screen. “Tai, look. That’s our baby.”

“Hey kiddo, you’re doing a great job in there,” he gushes, your hand wrapped snugly in his giant fingers.

“Everything looks perfectly fine,” the doctor assures you. “Now if you’d like to see something interesting…” he shifts the wand slightly and you notice something else in your belly. “It looks like my suspicions were correct.”

“What is that?” You squint and lean forward as best you can, trying to get a better idea of what you’re working with. “Is that bad?”

The older man laughs. “Far from it. That’s a roommate.”

“A…roommate?” You’re confused for a moment, but Taishiro puts the pieces together immediately.

“Cupcake, that’s another baby! We’re having twins!”

Your eyes go wide and you stare from your husband to the doctor in surprise. “Twins? Really?”

He smiles. “Yes, that would explain the increased side effects you’ve been feeling. More babies mean more work for your body, unfortunately.”

You watch them wordlessly, your eyes darting between one little blob to the other as your doctor drones about something you can’t waste any attention on. Fatgum’s hand stays firmly around yours, equally focused on his children on the screen. “I can’t believe it, sugar. We’re getting two for the price of one.”

You nod distractedly, too overwhelmed with the surprise to consider anything else. “And they’re both okay in there? I’m doing this right?”

“Yes, they’re both looking perfectly healthy. We always recommend more appointments when there’s multiple births involved, but there’s no reason to assume you’ll have anything but a standard, uncomplicated pregnancy.” It’s hard to tear your attention away from your babies, but you force yourself to focus. “Make sure you’re eating a healthy diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables, and don’t overdue it on physical activity.”

Thirty minutes later, you’re fully dressed and checked out with the receptionist, your next visit scheduled and a new library of information to read. Your husband’s been stuck to your side the entire time, practically radiating with excitement. “Twins, honeybun. It’s gonna be amazing.”

“I know, right?” You sound breathless, you’re still too awestruck to calm down. You wrap your arms as best you can around your mountain of a husband and find yourself lifted off the ground as he returns your hug. In this position, it’s obvious when your stomach rumbles and both of you laugh. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

He grins, eyes crinkling with happiness. “Takoyaki it is.”

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I know you’re on a König streak but I just wanted to bring it back to Simon and Sarah for a bit… esp the little detail about them having a baby?????… how did Simon handle the pregnancy????

Tbh haha I feel a bit bad for people who follow this blog for other than König related content 🧍‍♀️ And I wish to remind you dear souls that you can always hide and filter the yandere König tag!

As for Sarah & Simon ❤️❤️‍🩹❤️

CW: miscarriage, hurt/comfort, fluff

It takes a while for Sarah to get pregnant. Almost six months – which is not unheard of because most couples their age have to try at least one year before any fertility treatments would even be considered. It’s still a blow for Sarah, who is far too optimistic with their chances. She’s a healthy, athletic woman and eats her greens, and anyone can see Simon is virile like a bull, right?

So when her period still arrives month after month, Simon has to give her a reality check. And then when she does get pregnant, there’s a miscarriage almost right away.

It devastates her. It happens at home, and happens at such an early stage that some people wouldn’t even notice it. But for Sarah, it’s the end of the world momentarily. She has waited for so long, she has done everything right. There’s no reason for this to happen, so now she’s sure it’s her fault simply because she stressed too much about getting pregnant.

Simon finds her sobbing on the shower floor, leaning against the wall, head between her hands, water and tears and hollow pain circling down the drain. He doesn’t even take his clothes off as he walks there under the shower to be with her. He knows Sarah is not like him at all when it comes to pain: she doesn’t want to be alone even if she crawls some place quiet to lick her wounds.

She has a good cry there in his arms, and of course he’s sad too. But he knew it wouldn’t be easy – nothing in life is, and even if he would never blame Sarah for having hope, Simon doesn’t trust life all that much… which is why he actually stays strong when things fall to ruin.

To him, the situation is not even remotely close to a ruin, however. It’s a minor setback at best.

"I know you don’t feel like it right now, but we’ll get past this. We’ll try again," he says to her while cradling her in his arms. "We’ll try again, dove."

And Simon has an amazing talent for setting things right even if everything’s gone straight to hell. He sees what’s still left, even if it’s the last bullet in the barrel. In this case, they have a lot more than that: they have a hundred new chances, a thousand new tomorrows.

Sarah's optimism is gone the second time she gets pregnant, which is perhaps a good thing in the end because this time, she doesn’t stress so much. Everything goes nice and well, and they go to their first ultrasound. That’s the first spark of hope reborn, and when another month passes by and everything still goes smoothly, Simon feels brave enough to buy some supplies.

It’s a surprise for Sarah when he comes home with a pram and a few other things. The realization starts to sink in – they’re having a baby.

"Is this really happening?" She whispers to him while running a hand over the freshly bought baby carriage. “Sure looks like it,” he says, watching Sarah caress what he just brought home. He's having so many mixed feelings.

Simon carries the emotional weight of Sarah’s worries during the pregnancy, so much so that he has no time to even think about the swell of emotion that’s roiling inside him.

He's decided he’ll deal with every issue as they arise. There’s no time to stop and feel emotions. In some way, he even thinks there’s no need to feel them. The decision has already been made: they’re going to have a baby and he’s going to be a father. End of story.

(In truth, he’s feeling like he’s doing a bungee jump that never ends.)

Besides, he’s having it easy here: it’s Sarah who has to carry the child for nine months and suffer all the things that come with it. He can’t even think about the baby yet, all he can think about is how to soothe Sarah.

"Will I still be your dove after this?" Sarah asks one night when neither of them can sleep because the pains in her back keep her up all night. For her, it's quite annoying because she was supposed to be in a good shape.

Simon treats these occasions as "free training" of what’s about to come: that is, sleepless nights and a person demanding his attention and devotion. (He, all in all, takes a soldier's attitude to the pregnancy: it’s a mission he has to accomplish with tact and grace.)

"You’ll always be my dove," he assures. He gives her gentle back rubs, rubs her feet, too. Brings her whatever she wants, whether it be pickles or croissants or banana yogurt (Sarah’s food cravings are rich and various)

Toward the end of the pregnancy, they get into an argument about the name. Sarah already decided it long ago, but she’s having second thoughts about it and wants Simon to pick a name. (Oh and btw it’s a girl they’re having!)

Simon is a bit confused – first, he has barely any say in the name and now she’s not having it that he won’t pick one. He doesn’t understand why Sarah gets so riled up when he doesn’t have a name to give right off the top of his head. They’ve never had an argument this bad save for the time when they were still dating and he left during a fight. Sarah accuses him of not even wanting the baby because it will tie him down even more. It turns out she has had this fear ever since they started trying to conceive.

"Hey. Hey." He comes to hug her as she’s on the verge of tears. It’s kind of a talent really, for Sarah to be able to disguise her true feelings and fears from him, even after all these years. "You really think I’m scared of a baby?"

"Yes?" She answers, lower lip quivering, eyes betraying a long-ago distrust. "Isn’t that what you fear the most?"

"No. What I fear is you pushing me away and trying to survive all alone."

"I miss sex," she sighs and tries to have a laugh about it. The pregnancy is getting on her nerves, and at times, she just wants things to go back to the way they were.

Another good cry will fix the issue because deep down Sarah knows he isn't going anywhere. They're in this now, for life. They end up in bed, trying to have a good, nice cuddle, but it's a bit challenging because Sarah is in her last weeks.

"Yeah. Me too," he says while laying next to her, soothing her nerves with his touch like he always does. The weight of his palm caressing her shoulder or simply coming to rest there on her hip always grounds her to the present moment.

"Tell you what," he rumbles in her ear, this time raising his hand to brush away an escaped strand of hair from her face. "You give me another sweet girl, and I'll make you feel better than ever. Deal?"

"Deal."

She immediately breaks into a soft but bright smile. Simon has always called her sweet –the sweetest girl there is to be exact – and if he's not afraid, then there's no need for her to get cold feet either. After all, they both agreed they would live their life to the full, come what may.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi sex witch. I'm an anon from November who sent you an ask about how long I can put off seeing a gynecologist, with the ideal answer being "forever". You probably don't actually need that information but at some point my brain decided you might want to know that I am finally going to attempt to do that? Idk. While every part of the process still sounds unbelievably horrific to me and just reading about it makes me cry, I am 26 and so I should probably stop delaying, but I…also have no idea how to find a gynecologist? I don't have a primary care doctor to ask about this (why is not really relevant except in that my general experience of doctors is that they have zero interest in helping me, which does not make me more enthusiastic about an invasive pelvic exam) and everything I've turned up in googling was super vague and useless. So I was hoping you might have some pointers on how to get started. Also how do I have a gynecological exam when just thinking about it makes me want to throw up, but like, I doubt anyone has advice on that since most people are, like, normal.

hey anon,

it seems like you're being a little harsh on yourself there at the end of that ask, and I don't care for that at all! if you've been around this blog for any length of time, you ought to know that many people have a hard time visiting the gyno for all kinds of reason. it's one of the most common types of questions I get here, and I've always tried to emphasize that I myself am one of those people! pap smears hurt like fucking hell for me, and I don't want to make any secret about that! as tempting as it can be to view yourself as some kind of anomaly when you're experiencing difficulty, it's very rarely the case.

put it this way: there are almost 8 billion people in the world, dude. even if only 1% of humanity wanted to throw up at the thought of a gyno exam, you'd still be in a club with about 79 million other people.

in terms of actually getting the damn thing done, I recently answered another ask with a very similar problem and raised the possibility of ultrasounds, a noninvasive way of conducting the same examination, which may be a great deal of help to you. in your search for a gynecologist I'd strongly recommend opening with questions about the possibility of conducting an ultrasound instead of a more conventional exam, stressing that it would be much better for your overall comfort and wellbeing.

in a scenario where that's not feasible, it's still a good idea to initiate the conversation to talk about what accommodations can be offered to make the experience as minimally awful as possible - for instance, will they let you bring a buddy for emotional support? can you stay in your own clothes if you'd feel more comfortable that way? fully just. don't get on a table or take your pants off until you've spoken with the person who will be doing your exam and make sure they understand your whole situation and how best to be accommodating for you.

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

How they are as dads

Steve: He has always wanted to be a father so when he finds out that you're pregnant he is over the moon! He never worried about if he'll be a good dad or not thanks to Robin and Dustin reassuring him that he'll be great as a dad but the first time he sees the baby (ultrasound) he passes out and the first time he was able to hold the baby he almost passes out again.

Eddie: He is determined to be the Wayne to his child. His biological dad wasn't the best man and if it wasn't for Wayne he doesn't know how he would've turned out. With the help of Wayne and some late night talks with you he is confident in being a good father. He's worried that his kids will go through bullying like he did but he will always stick up for them. (Once a 3 year old pushed your child down at the playground and he walked over and pushed the kid back.) But when they started getting older he teaches them that they are amazing no matter what differences they might have from other kids and if it gets to the point of needing to he'll teach them to fight.

Billy: He is scared of becoming a father but once he see’s the ultrasound he is in love. He makes a promise to the his child while he thinks you're a sleep that he will never hurt them and he vows to protect them from everything he possibly can. He never wants them to know how to fight so he won't teach them until there is a reason for them to need to learn how to.

All three of them would be a mess seeing their babies grow up and slowly stop needing him as much. He'll try and convince you to have another baby, I think Billy would want three, Eddie would want two, and everyone knows Steve wants at least six.

[sabraeal]

Seven Swipes for Shirayuki, Chapter 5

[Read on AO3]

Obiyuki Trope Madness 2023, Semifinal #1: Bodyguard Crush

It’s not quite a scowl that scrunches the space between Ryuu’s eyebrows, but it’s a kissing cousin; frustration and fondness stirred together to make a cocktail of expression uniquely for her as he stares down at the request.

“She’s ten weeks.” His thumb idly taps the screen, thoughtful. “She’s already had one by now.”

“And she’s due to have one again at twelve, I know, but--” Shirayuki leans over his shoulder, tapping at the line that reads Hyperemesis Gravidarum: Active-- “you and I both know what this means.”

“One sac at seven weeks, one heartbeat.” A sigh saws out of him, his patience worn as thin as his sleeves at the elbow. “I know statistics too.”

“Seven week ultrasounds are notoriously inaccurate,” she scoffs, shifting her wait for the long haul. “There’s a reason half the doctors here don’t bother unless there’s complications. It’s fine enough to date a pregnancy, but even then...”

It’s impossible not to know the reputation Ryuu’s made himself in the ward-- a hardass, Obi’s so quick to remind her, proud-- but Shirayuki never really remembers it. At least, not until his shoulders set as stiff as the mattresses, expression as forbidden as any Haruka’s fixed on her. “Shirayuki--”

“You know I’m not implying technician error.” Not due to lack of skill, at least, though she doesn’t think he’d appreciate the distinction. “But pregnancy isn’t simple. There’s plenty of ways even the best tech could have missed something that early.”

He stares at her, an unmovable object. “I wouldn’t know.”

Good thing she’s got practice being an unstoppable force. “What could it hurt?”

“Nothing,” he admits, too easily. “Except that she had her last sonogram here. If I order another, I would be directly overturning the opinion of the last technician.”

“Ryuu.” Her hands hook on her hips, taking a breath to blunt her impatience. “We’re all professionals here. No one is going to take it personally if you check their work due to new information.”

He might an adult now, old enough to buy his own drinks at hospital happy hour, but his pout-- even as he tries to hide it behind the monitor-- is all teenager. “You can’t promise that. People are very erratic. The last thing I want to do is make enemies of--”

His train of thought stops dead on the track, attention fixed to a singular point on the screen.

“Never mind,” he says, opening the order. “I’ll do it.”

Shirayuki blinks. “Are you sure?”

“Sure,” he agrees, closing out the screen. “The queue’s full this morning, but I’ll see if someone can fit her in around the scheduled patients.”

“Ah, right, of course.” She grasps for something to say, something that isn’t what changed your mind, and settles on, “Thank you.”

He glances over the screen, mouth still stretched thin. “If it’s one sac, you won’t ask me again, right?”

“Er...” Shirayuki’s stared down deans and hospital board members alike, but Ryuu’s tone makes her falter, left-footed in face of his displeasure. That is, until his mouth twitches, straining against the angle of a smile.

“Right,” she says, flushed with pride. “I promise I’m not wasting your time, doctor.”

Ryuu ducks his head, making a show of crossing his t’s and dotting his i’s, but through that thick morass of curls, the tips of his ears are stained a painful pink. “Well, y-you don’t have to call me that.”

Ryuu’s hardly out of sight when Higata whistles, eyebrows hovering just under his hairline.“Well, well. Been a while since I’ve seen the Rules Lawyer handled so quick.”

Shirayuki’s not in the habit of scolding on the floor, but she clucks her tongue, disappointed. “That’s not fair. You know Ryuu just wants to be taken seriously. It’s hard to be the Attending when you’re practically the same age as the interns.”

“Of course I do.” All her worries are shunted off with a wave of his hand, someone else’s problem. “I’m just saying, he’s not going to make any friends if his back’s always up like that.”

Kazaha surfaces in her mind, unbidden. “Ah, yeah, that’s...possible.”

Higata hums at the precise pitch of mischief. “I wonder what made him change his tune, though? You know how he gets about imaging. Never likes to overturn anyone’s work.”

A dozen reasons crowd her mind: His best friend is a tech, and no one gives him any respect. He nearly mastered out of his degree entirely to join imaging so he could deal with computers instead of patients. He’s only here because Kirito told him he’d like to work under a doctor like him--

But logic turns to excuse the minute it leaves the mouth. Shirayuki knows that all too well.

“Let me just..” A few keystrokes-- and an interminable wait-- and Higata’s eyes bulge. “Oh.”

“Hm?” She leans over the station, craning her neck to get a glimpse. It’s the ultrasound, one sac and the barely-there beginnings of a baby, but more importantly:

Technician, it reads, Sisk, M.

She grimaces. “Ah.”

“Yeah, that’d do it.” A few more keystrokes, and it’s gone, Higata shooing her back patient-side. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure this goes through before I’m out the door. Whoever I hand the baton off to will make sure to sit on imaging until they send someone up. Last thing we need is the CEO of this place raising a stink.”

“Oh, there’s no need to--” Shirayuki blinks, blearily watching as he goes through the motions she used to know so well. “You’re on nights.”

He hikes his brows at her, the way he always did when she’d been on shift too long; a silent, maybe you should be using the on-call room.

“Ah, right, you’ve been with me...the whole night...” she murmurs, wishing she had enough sleep for that to be an inside thought. “And if Ryuu’s here...as the day shift...then...”

“Then that means you’ll probably miss me, so long as America’s Sweetheart can keep some crackers down.” There’s no one who can wear mischief the way Obi does, like it’s a design suit tailored to fit every curve, but when Higata glances up from his station, a corner of his mouth quirked-- he comes close. “Unless she’s impressed by my dedication and debonair smile. Then maybe we might be coworkers again.”

Her own smile takes a similar slant. “That’s not a bad idea. I could use another set of hands. And I’m pretty sure that pool house could fit half the ward.”

Higata snorts, shaking his head. “Don’t let that mutt of yours hear that. He’ll be giving me grief for weeks about elbowing in on your love nest.”

She knows all it does is muddy the high ground, but Shirayuki’s been up too many consecutive hours to even try to stifle her sigh. “That isn’t what it’s like between me and--”

“It’d be nice to get back on days,” he murmurs wistfully, ignoring her. Typical. “The quiet’s nice, sure, but it’s hell on the social life.”

“Oh?” It’d never been easy to give up her daylight hours, especially when she’d lived at a latitude where she could get to her shift when the sun went down and still have night to burn twelve hours later. But socially...? “Are they?”

Higata stares at her, the way Obi does when she mentions she’s never seen a Marvel movie. “Shirayuki, are you--?” He shakes his head. “Right, of course. You probably wouldn’t have noticed with that VIP you were dating. Guys like him don’t wake up before noon.”

It’s habit to get her hackles up, to mount a high horse and ride to his defense. All her excuses marshal themselves in her mouth, ready to deploy at first breath: celebrities have a different schedule, most of their days don’t really start until after six, it’s hard to balance a nine-to-five company with a position that relies on hobnobbing after hours--

But she swallows them down, trying not to taste the bitter. That’s not her job not anymore.

And clearly, a voice that sounds far to wry to be her own hums in her ears, the left hand never really knew what the right was doing anyway, hm?

“Guess it’s good you make your own hours now, Ms. Private Practice.” Higata’s brows waggled far too suggestively. “You’ll need to be keeping the same hours as the rest of the plebs if you’re going back into the dating pool.”

There’s too much to take in there, too much that makes the static in her brain sound like screaming, and all she can do is blurt out, “Doctor.”

“Oh, forgive me,” he drawls. “Doctor Private Practice.”

Her problem is typically too many words, all of them trying to jostle out her mouth at once, but right now--

Right now, they’ve all abandoned her.

“I just...” She licks her lips; just one night of recycled air and already they dried, ready to crack. “Did I say I was going to...to be dating again? Or did someone else--?”

“Nah. You’re just a cute girl in a city with the largest amount of singles per mile. I figured you’d just jump back in the pool.” He slants her a sly look. “I mean, after the way you handled 2203 a few weeks, I figured...”

(”Good morning!” Shirayuki hums as she reaches for the chart. A the corner of the screen, the time flashes: 3:31, too early. “Technically. I’m Dr. Lyon, the OB on shift tonight. Can I just get your name and date of birth?”

“Amaryllis Elise.” The girl practically blends in with the sheets, her knuckles clenched so tight over her belly Shirayuki could use them for anatomy models. “April fifth, 1999.”

Shirayuki tries not to choke. Ninety-nine. The chart said the patient was twenty-four, but, ah, she hadn’t know they made twenty-four so young nowadays.

“Is this your first baby?” she asks, keying in her login. The monitor spikes as she types, BPM 120 flashing on the screen, poised like a breath before a scream. With practiced flick of the wrist, she mutes it before it starts. An alarm’s the last thing this girls needs going off right now. “Are you nervous?”

“It’s just-- is everything okay?” Fear makes her eyes wide and watery, flinching as Shirayuki’s fingers key in her data. “I had...there was some blood, right after they found the heartbeat, but they told me that was normal. But now it’s the third trimester, and that’s-- that’s bad right? Something’s wrong.”

The monitor spikes up to 125. Somewhere done the hall, the nurse’s station blares with it. That’s the worst part of being patient-side, really: no privacy.

“Not necessarily.” With a few short strokes, the wait list for imaging rolls across the screen. NEXT IN QUEUE: 2203, it promises. Cold comfort, when every minute without answers would be agony. “Most pregnancies that make it to third term are going to make it all the way to full.”

“But it’s so much blood.” The girl practically disappears beneath that johnny, her voice so small she can hardly hear it over the ward’s mechanical hum. “Did I do something wrong? I thought...I was being so careful. I don’t even eat deli meats...”

It’s hard to toe the line between lie and comfort; Kazaha would tell her, just say what they want to hear, it’s better then them getting hysterical on you. He’s backed up by a set of guidelines as thick as her wrist, all advising that she prioritize keeping the patient calm over keeping the patient informed, right down to suggesting it’s kinder to suggest a chemical pregnancy over a miscarriage.

Sometimes, Opa would tell her, tinkering with the old Ford in the garage, people think so much about what’s easy and safe, they forget it can be cruel.

Shirayuki pulls her hands from the keyboard, fixing her gaze right to where the girl lays huddled in the bed. “It’s always scary to see blood. And it’s even scarier because it’s taken so seriously, especially this late in the game, right?”

She nods, her hair getting even more tangled on the pillow.

“But the truth is, there’s so much that could be going on in there, and most of it just means we has to reassess our timetable for your pregnancy.” It’s Oma that Shirayuki summons up now, hoping her smile radiates even a fraction of the warmth she remembers. “I know you can’t help but worry, but I promise: it’s far more likely that you’ll both be fine.”

The girl considers that, fingers splayed over her belly. “But someone has to be unlucky, don’t they? That’s how statistics work.”

Shirayuki smothers a frown. “Did you say you has someone coming? Your--” she glances over at the screen-- “boyfriend?”

“No.” She shrinks under the sheets, looking younger by the second. “He doesn’t have enough PTO to cover something like this and still be at the birth. And my mom--” she grimaces-- “my mom would not be helpful right now.”

“Then here.” The rooms in this ward are huge, private, and thankfully full to the brim with comfy chairs. Shirayuki steps out, hooking ankle around one to catch her as she sits. “I’ll wait with you.”

The girl goes bloodless. “Oh, god. That’s bad, isn’t it?”

Shiaryuki blinks. “Excuse me?”

“You want to wait with me.” A trembling hand drapes over her ashen face. “That means you think I’m going to lose the baby, right? That’s it’s something so terrible, I can’t be--”

“No! No.” A laugh escapes her, breathless. “That’s not it at all. I just...I know when I’m left waiting, I convince myself of all sorts of terrible things. When I was doing my rotation in Infectious Disease, I coughed in the shower and convinced myself I had pertussis for the whole night.”

There’s no hint the girl’s heard her, but her BPM drops, just a bit.

“That’s the worst part about being a doctor,” Shirayuki confides, leaning close. “You know all the things that can go wrong.”

Beneath her hand, there’s the faintest hint of a smile. “I just have an over-active imagination and WebMD.”

Shirayuki lets herself take a page out of Obi’s book, letting half her mouth slant into a rueful grin. “Lucky.”

The smallest, thinnest giggle spools out of the girl, there and gone before she knows it.

“But seriously,” she says, letting her smile rest at its usual angles. “There’s no secret hint that’s something wrong. I promise, I’m only here because I don’t have anything better to do, and I hate waiting alone.”)

“2203?” Shirayuki frowns, confused. “What does that have to do w-with dating?”

Higata sighs, stretching as he gets to his feet. “I’m not talking about dating. I’m talking about the other stuff. That you, you know, could have some of that in the cards for you.”

It’s not often that she experiences déjà vu, and certainly not for a phrase like, “Having a luteal cyst?”

Obi’s typically the on on the other end of Higata flattest, most unimpressed glares, but today he saves one just for her. “Let’s be real, Shirayuki. Statistics say you’ve already had one.” 

Ah, well. He does have her there.

Higata waves his hand, annoyed. “But I’m not talking about that. I meant the other thing.”

She blinks. “What other thing?”

“Oh, c’mon, Shirayuki,” he sighs. “The baby.”

(The girl nods. “Do you...do you think it’s okay? The baby, I mean.”

Shirayuki takes a deep breath. “I think you’ve done the right thing, coming here. And that’s all you can expect yourself to do.”

There’s a little more color in her now, no longer stark white but an ashen sort of tan. “Do you have kids?”

It’s hardly the first time she’s been asked, but still, it catches her left-footed. “Ah, no. Not right now. I’m not-- it hasn’t been the right time.”

Between medical school, family death, residency, and Izana, there’s barely been time to breathe, let alone think about something like-- like that, but that’s hardly something she needs to bring up with a patient. Especially when Obi could be lurking around the corner, ready to seize on any tender feeling and discuss it down to the bones.

“Oh.” Dark eyes round, pretty now that they’re not glassy with fear. “You’re so good at this, I would have guessed you had a bunch. You’re like, mom-material. You know, warm, I guess.”

Now it’s time for Shirayuki to stare, her hands limp where they lay on her lap.

“T-thank you.” It’s silly how much it means to her, being warm. That even for one minute, someone could feel about her the way she does about Oma. “I’d like to, probably. Maybe in a couple years, it’d be nice...”)

There’s no reason for that to make her flush, for her to feel like she’s stripped her naked on the maternity floor. But she does, crossing her arms over her chest as she murmurs, “I m-meant if Zen and I-- if we ever--”

She shakes herself. “I don’t need to date for that anyway! I could just adopt. Or do IVF if I could get the time off.”

Higata huffs, brows lifting straight to his hairline. “Or you could look around and see there’s a perfect sperm donor right--”

“Hey, Miss.” A paper cup slips into her hand, warm where it’s cradled between her palms. She barely has time to appreciate it before Obi slides up to the nurse station, splaying an arm across it like he owns the place. “Hello, nurse.”

Ah, there’s a flat look. “Oh, you’re still here.”

Obi presses a hand to his chest, rumpling the silk tie hung loose around his neck. Framed by his fingers like it is, it’s impossible not to notice the dubiously professional amount of tentacles on it. A gift from Suzu, if she was going to risk a guess. “As if I’d stray from Miss’s side.”

Higata’s mouth quivers. “Well I suppose if you’ve got to have a dog, it might as well be a loyal one.”

“Woof woof,” Obi agrees with a grin, and honestly, she’ll never quite understand how stand around and insult each other is the basis for a friendship, but somehow these two have made it work despite six years and three thousand miles between them. “Heading out already?”

“Turns out there is sleep for the wicked, so long as they’re unionized.” Higata leans down to close out his station, tension falling from him with a sigh. “I just have to get through shift changeover, and then I’m out. I better not see hide nor hair of either of you when I get back tonight.”

“No problem,” Obi promises. “I plan to wear out our welcome by noon.”

Higata’s barely turned the corner when Obi leans in, grinning as he tells her, “Eighteen.”

Shirayuki blinks. “What?”

“Eighteen,” he repeats giddily. “That’s the number of hours you’ve been a free agent.”

It takes her a whole minute to parse his meaning, staring into his broad teeth the entire time. Goodness, she really needs to check out the on-call. “I already told you, that was over a week ago.”

“Sure, sure.” He waves a hand, unconvinced. “Whatever you say, Miss.”

Most days, she would happily admit to enjoying her bodyguard’s company, but today-- well, if she has to go through another round of assessing how daddy anyone in her acquaintance is, today will not be one of them. “If you don’t believe me, I don’t know why--”

“I do.” He says it earnestly enough that it draws her up short. “But the timing’s not the point though.”

“It’s not?”

“No. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been.” She’s almost touched, until he yanks his phone out of his pocket, brandishing it menacingly. “It’s time for you to rebound.”

“Oh.” She squints, recognizing the logo before her eyes can parse the word. “T...inder?”

That grin of his widens, just an inch short of being Cheshire.

“Oh! You-- you kept that?”

He scoffs, one finger flicking across the page. “What, like I would delete this carefully crafted profile? Painstakingly created by yours truly, just for such an august occasion--?”

“You should have,” she squeaks, heat flooding her face. To think, he kept that all these years-- “Give that to me!”

Her hand snaps out, trying to knock it from his loose grip, but even with the element of surprise, Obi’s too quick for her. With the sort of grace only cats and former hitmen have, he slides it right out from under her fingers, hovering barely an inch away.

“Now, Miss,” he admonishes, his grin giving away that he loves the chase. “That’s not very nice.”

She leaps again, stepping so close her shoulder bumps into his sternum, but this time he lifts it, giving the phone a little wiggle above his head. “I was in a-- a relationship! What if Zen had found--?”

“Then I think the bigger question would be why bossman was--”

She jumps, fingers just brushing the bottom of the case, but it’s too high. And when she comes back down, well--

Obi’s arm clenches around her waist, holding her steady. “Careful there, Miss,” he breathes, wide-eyed. “Last thing I need to explain to His Majesty is why Doctor Humpty Dumpty can’t put his personal physician back together again.”

Braced against his chest, she can feel his heart race beneath her palm. “Fine. But you’ll delete that won’t you?”

The weight slung around her waist disappears as if it was never there in the first place. “Aw, but why? This is the perfect time to--”

“Ah.” A soft, masculine cough cuts through Obi’s theatrics. “I’m sorry to interrupt. I just, er...”

Shirayuki looks up, right into a dark pair of eyes that would be right at home on a golden retriever. An anxious one. “Oh, I’m sorry, can I help you?”

“Ah, yes, I was just wondering...” He can’t be much older than her-- the perfect first-time dad age, Obi had said once, mostly to needle her-- his hair blond and tousled the way everyone’s is out here. “My father was checked in here last night.”

“Your father?” A nurse wheels a woman behind him, belly so distended Shirayuki’s half afraid she’ll tip right out. “Here?”

“Ah, yeah, I think I wrote down the wrong room number?” His fingers tremble where they splay on the desk, like he’s trying his hardest not to drum them. “Do you think you could, um...?”

That’s, apparently, all the words he has. They just run out as he stands there, his mouth still moving but only air coming out.

With this little sleep, she has to admit, it’s kind of charming. “I’m not the nurse, but--”

“Oh!” A flush flares at the collar of his v-neck. “Oh, sorry, I just assumed, since you were here... and the scrubs...?”

She catches her laugh before it can escape containment. “No, no. I’m a doctor.”

“Oh,” he moans, mortified. “I’m sorry. That was-- I’m really-- ugh--”

“Not here though. Private.” If she were Obi she’d lean in a little, giving him a sly wink, but instead she settles on her warmest smile. “But I do know some people on the inside. Let me get someone to look that up for you.”

“Ah...” On anyone else, that toss of his hair would seem confident, but on him it’s just nervous, like a horse after a lightning strike. “That’s really...I mean, that would be great. Thank you.”

It’s an effort not to giggle, but she manages to ask, “Name?”

“Oh!” He clears his throat, blush working its way up to his ears. “It’s, um. Yuuta.”

[knightwar]

She's not able to be in Gotham, no matter how badly she wishes she could. Damian is safe with his father, while Talia still fights with hers. Not alongside, not anymore. It is a new future she has forged for herself. But there is a small package that Alfred retrieves and she's left instructions for it to be placed on Bruce's pillow for him to find when he finally comes to rest. (A reminder that there is always a good reason to return to the bedroom.) A letter and a box with three photos. One, an ultrasound of a strong and healthy son. The second, a baby in a cradle decorated with green and white. The third, one of a small child, perhaps six, maybe less, clinging to his father's hair with tiny, balled fists. Happy father's day, she writes on the back. The scented letter ends with a print of a kiss and a name in calligraphy. To the best father I could have asked for my child to have. (If anything.. it's because he tries.)

It’s almost like being woken from a dream. The scent of her overwhelming him in that liminal space of knowing and waking until realization is slow to kick in and grip him by the tendrils of her. That familiar scent that only promised, with absolute, certainty, that she had been here. 

One way or another. 

He stirs himself from his thoughts to look around the room. One way or another awaiting a surprise. An attack. A guest. Something. Not a gift perfectly laid across his pillow for him to pick up and slowly unwrap. 

He swallows. The familiar calligraphy of his name across the envelope that he opens first as he sits down and reads through. The fear waning. His paranoia creeps back into its shadows as he realizes then what day it must have been, what he had also forgotten swimming in the quagmire of Gotham City’s filth. 

A small smile then as he goes to his desk to tuck away the letter to somewhere private and for now, pin the pictures on the wall along with some of the older pictures he’s kept of the other children. Stepping back then to admire the array of photographs that clung haphazardly to his walls. 

Maybe..he’ll send @pitborn flowers in the morning. 

Maybe.

[benswillbond]

Show #1: The Delightful Sausage: Nowt But Sea

Hoo boy, my first show at my first EdFringe!

My first show after almost THREE years of zero live comedy! (I went to a few in Zurich, but it’s clear why people fly to Switzerland to die.)

Also: my first time meeting @rantsandravingsofashinykey since the start of the pandemic!

And my first time at a Delightful Sausage gig!

And finally, my first of many visits to a sweltering basement room in Edinburgh! I came here for the full Fringe experience, and I was not disappointed.

The Delightful Sausage was hot! It was a sold-out gig but Monkey Barrel always reserve ten tickets for PAYW. We very luckily got the last few but this meant our seats were on the last row towards the far right corner.

So, bearing in mind that I just got off the plane that morning with almost no sleep the previous night, my deliriousness mixed with anticipation giddiness and the unique sensation of being gently cooked alive in an airless room packed with other sweaty punters, while my mind fought off months of Covid-safe training, it felt pretty fucking surreal.

The show, as it turned out, was even more so. Did not know what to expect at all, and frankly, because I’m Hobbit-sized, I did not actually see most of the damn performance. What I managed to glimpse and hear though was great stuff. It reminded me of Daphne’s excellent Radio 4 show. One episode was set on a remote tropical island and they did very funny sketches about their strange encounters. Only in the end you don’t get to see Chris Cantrill wearing nothing but gold boxer shorts covered in lube (it was ultrasound gel, we asked. It’s cheaper, apparently). And there’s a twist at the end. I love that this show is very charming and unmistakably Northern. Amy is so good at playing the much more sassy and clueless version of herself, and Chris is the loyal fool who would never leave his friend behind. (Hot tip: go check out their Twitter exchanges. if they’re not your best friend goals, I don’t know who are).

My favourite bit involved Only Connect and its inimitable host, Victoria Coren Mitchell, obviously. I totally get the crush, Chris. The weakest attempt at doing Victoria’s voice that I’ve ever seen, but it was so goddamn funny. Gutted I didn’t get the connection though :(

Of course I loved it, despite everything. It felt electrifying to be in an audience again. The fact that the Delightful Sausage got another Best Comedy nom is just the ultrasound gel icing on the cake. (Their Twitter handle is @MmmSausage, another reason to follow them.)

On the way out, we paid for our tickets to a still-wet half-naked Chris. Another hot EdFringe tip for anyone (is anyone??) reading is to pay in multiples of £5, not anything in between because those damn card machines would not let you. Chris felt bad that I opted to pay £8 or some stupid amount he gave me a Delightful Sausage merch FOR FREE. WHICH I THEN LOST 🫠