#but that wont change the fact that im out of food and too tired to do anything about it

[vile-wizard]

Me after making the worst nutritional decisions of my life for the past 3+ weeks:

[wh6res]

127 SQUAD AND ROMANTIC BF TINGS

tw a lil bit of suggestive on jae's but nothing explicit

✰ — TAEIL would sing lullabies over the phone or video call. you and him would just be doing your own thing, not talking but enjoying being each other's presence. he'll probably pull out his guitar and start singing random songs until he eventually notices you fell asleep on him. will not end the call and when you wake up in the morning, his snores and his cute sleeping face is the first thing you see. "love? you still there? ... taeil?" then laugh out loud when you hear his snores instead. "okay yeah lets sleep more" the call will only end probably because his phone died. he kinda strikes me as a guy who's phone is always < 50% battery lmao

✰ — JOHNNY is your everything. literally. as long as he has the power of youtube, google, and instruction manuals on his side, he can fix anything and everything for you. we've all seen him do crafty things on jcc lmao so it'll probably apply to relationships as well. will 100% say you now owe him cuddles for fixing something for you. you kinda dont like the fact that he's doing all these things for you so you try doing them on your own without him knowing only to fail big time. "what did we learn today?" "never touch the pipes under the sink" "and?" "and always ask johnny for help" "nuh-uh thats not how i said it" you sigh exasperatedly "always let my smokin hot amazing handsome boyfriend johnny suh get the job done"

✰ — TAEYONG doesn't care whether you take the time shopping or not. in fact, he loves seeing you all excited and giddy for pampering yourself as you should. totally the type to hold the paper bags even if you complain and say you can manage on your own. is a complete angel and will wait patiently outside changing rooms and will give you genuine insight he has of the clothes you picked. "that looks nice. you should get that. the length is just right and the sleeves help accentuate your waist" "really yongie?" "yes love. i mean you look pretty in everything anyway" miss ma'am my heart just fucking melted ?¿?

✰ — YUTA doesn't look like it but will exert real effort into things. would be the type to have a note or a google doc about your favorite orders from restaurants because he just loves how your eyes light up appreciatively and you look so smitten by him. its like a cheat sheet. eventually he memorizes the list with how much time he spends with you and he wont even need it. the type to always bring you food before meeting you (if its just hanging out inside the house). "no way! i was just craving for these!" he smiles before kissing your forehead, volunteering to put the food out its container for you. "i figured. you'd been working since this afternoon. lets eat first then you can tell me about what you've been working on so i can help you, okay?"

✰ — DOYOUNG loves cooking for you. i highkey feel like its his love language? like cooking for you and seeing your eyes light up as it darts back to him after you take your first bite from whatever he cooked just gives him so much happiness. its disgustingly sappy and he doesn't like talking about it. now he understood fully what it meant to see your loved ones eating and being full yourself or some shit. idk how the actual quote goes okay dont come 4 me but u probably get it. anyway the type to always pack you lunch and will get hella mad if you skip meals. "what do you mean you havent eaten yet?" "yeah but i will after i--" "you mean you're going to eat Now?" "what? no maybe later--" "thats it im coming over"

✰ — JAEHYUN would be the type to make you playlists. its really random sometimes he'll send them to you in the early morning for the heck of it bc he cant sleep. most of the time its him being horny lmao the frat boy in him awakening and sending you a playlist called imma blow your back out or something extremely cringey and thirsty pls dont block his sorry ass maybe he'd spell out the words using song titles too! idk jae just rlly strikes me as a guy who's love language is music. "hey babe did you check the playlist i sent you?" "wtf its 4am???" "oh so you havent listened to it yet?" "fuck off" but at the end of the day he'll come over and will use the playlist to,,, you know,,, do the sexy thing ;)

✰ — JUNGWOO always makes sure you walk on the inside of the road. you know when you're walking in the street and he softly nudges your waist? yes. will probably even scold you playfully because with how long its been since you both are together, "babe you always walk on the inside of the road how many times do i have to tell you?" is also the type to remind you to wear your seatbelt immediately after hopping onto his car. would ask you Again while in the middle of the car ride because he forgot that he already asked you earlier. please don't mind him he's just looking out for you bb. "seatbelt?" "yes, babe. already done" "are you sure? i dont think i heard it click--" "babe eyes on the road please" "oh right sorry"

✰ — MARK sends you tiktoks, vines, or memes. this is his love language fite me im calling it. he just wants to see you laugh too okay? thats why he does it. i mean it made him laugh, so maybe it will you laugh too. also because he hopes to make inside jokes with u cuz he believes thats how people really get close and stuff. would definitely love it if you do the same thing with him. you'd be chilling in the sofa while khalid plays on the bluetooth speaker and he'll suddenly go "babe babe babe check this out!" then you both proceed to laugh at a vine for the next thirty minutes <3 #living.the.yn.life

✰ — HAECHAN will do your skincare for you when you're drunk or super tired that you just passed out cold on the bed. would probably come into the room to see you snoring and tutting bc now he has to do it for you again but meh deep down he loves it because he enjoys admiring your sleeping face. its sorta like a healing thing for him? yeah it just washes away all the stress he's feeling and bb is just excited about the idea that this becomes "your thing" with him if u get what im saying? altho the next day he'll probably use it as a leverage to get out of chores :) "no way im not folding our clothes" "and why is that?" "i took your make up off yesterday u know how hard that is? im still tired" "but its literally the next day--" "awww thank you for doing my chores, baby! u the best!" ._.

[ultrastellara]

hi i saw that you were taking requests if you aren’t anymore feel free to ignore this!! if you are then can i get a kirishima x bakugou’s sister how would bakugou react thanks and i hope you have a great day!! :)

sorry for my lateness but pls dont worry, i love getting requests! and enjoy the scenario that you wanted , lovely!

DATING KIRISHIMA AS BAKUGOU'S SISTER

kirishima x bakugou's sister reader

fluff , cuteness, & friends to lovers <3

the beginning

i think being bakugou's sister isnt that easy

bakugou wouldnt be the type of sibling to hand you the toy that you desperately wanted

he also seems the type to also make you jealous because of his grades or brag about how his quirk is way more awesome than yours

mistuki and masaru were grateful that they were able to have a daughter, so you were mostly the spoiled child out of the family

you werent snotty or arrogant because bakugou took over that job for you

between you and bakugou, you shared a two year difference

you were the kinder sibling, the one who would give the toy to bakugou

you were also the one who would give your money to bakugou if he forgot his lunch money

now when it he attended UA, you were attending middle school still

you acknowledged that bakugou was childhood friends with midoriya

you remembered all the play dates they had and the moments they shared over all might

you would always try to come into their conversations, trying to make friends with midoriya

midoriya wouldnt talk back much but when he tried to, bakugou would tell you to go away

bakugou really hated the fact that you would tried to be his friend

so he would purposely give excuses or things for you to do or go with

you didnt know he hated the idea with you hanging out with his own best friend

but he simply hated it, because he found you " annoying "

as bakugou attended UA, he would always or sometimes bring home his best friend kirishima

now let me tell you that, kirishima wasnt exactly like midoriya

kirishima would cut bakugou off if he tried telling you to go back to your room

but you just wanted to make friends that's all

kirishima wasnt the type to ignore what you wanted to say

he would actually listen to you and chat with you

" so are you also a fan of all might, kirishima ?" you asked

" hmm not really but crimson riot is my favorite hero!" he said cheerfully

bakugou would always leave the room whenever you two talked

the only time where you didnt talk to kirishima was when bakugou and him would have study sessions in his room

you would stop by once in a while to give them food or drinks

sometimes you'll chat with kirishima but very minimal

you respected him and he respected you too

on days where him and bakugou arent studying they're probably playing games

now during those times you would always stay in bakugou's room just to talk to kirishima about the things you learned in school that day

did bakugou get irritated? yeah

but he wouldnt bother you and kirishima, since he felt okay with you hanging out with his best friend

during their game sessions , you would always be next to kirishima watching him as he played the game

your eyes would be focused on the screen, however once in a while you would look at kirishima and admire his face

you thought no one in the room would notice this small habit

until you caught bakugou giving you a disgusted look

the look of ' stop looking at him you're being so fucking weird '

you would always give him back a happy smile to just piss bakugou off but you didnt stop this habit after that encounter

ever since that encounter of just looking at kirishima, you slowly started to want to see him everyday

it didnt scare or catch bakugou off guard because he only viewed you and kirishima as friends too

kirishima never saw you annoying or stupid like how bakugou did

" hey katsuki, is kirishima coming today?" you ask as you're standing near his doorway

" yeah, what about it dumbie?" he would annoyingly reply

" oh nothing just asking that's all " you would run off to your room and waited for kirishima

the middle

bakugou would be hella honest to kirishima about how you are as his sister

honestly kirishima did see you like the way bakugou did

annoying, clingy, and stupid

until the first day he was able to meet you and get to know you as bakugou's sister

boy was bakugou wrong about you

you werent all the things bakugou had told him, he found you fun and kind

you were fun to talk to about heroes you both admired

your kindness when you would always bring him and bakugou their snack and drinks

those traits of you really did catch him off guard

as he got to learn more about you, he found more things he slowly wished he could spend more time with

your beauty was one of them, you had a bright smile whenever you said hello to him

that cheerful laugh and your adorable blush whenever kirishima would compliment about the outfit you had that day

slowly as time passed, he was finding you more as a person than just the title ' bakugou's sister '

as it hit his third year at being UA, you started to attend UA like your brother

he would usually see you hanging out with your friends in the hallways

it was your first year at UA, you werent like the girl that kirishima knew years ago

you still had that smile and laugh but your personality had expanded beautifully

you would hang out with the bakusquad sometimes

you still had cling onto kirishima talking to him like you usually would

you and kirishima have grown closer and could be best friends too

bakugou didnt really care for you hanging out with kirishima since he realized that no matter what he could do you would always find your ways to the shark boy

your friends at UA were suspicious when you told them that you were friends with kirishima

countless times you would always drag your friend over to you while you would follow around your brother and kirishima

they would hear and see the conversations and many interactions that you and kirishima had

they did think that your bond with him was adorable since he was your upperclassman until later on in the year

they wanted to tell you what they had thought of you and him because let's be real, they were sorta tired of this obliviousness between you and kirishima

" you know y/n, you and kirishima seem pretty close to be best friends" your friend said

" yeah i mean i known him since i was in middle school" you stated

your friend gave you a curious look with a head tilt

" what i meant was that im started to think you might have feelings for him. i know you both dont flirt openly but just the way that he looks at you, it seems like hes giving you the look of ' hey youre cute and maybe you and i could be closer than before "they stated

now that changed your view of kirishima

let's just say your friend mightve been right about you and kirishima

the next following week, whenever you had seen him in the hallways or even just think of kirishima

your heart would always beat rapidly

your cheeks were usually flushed with pink and bits of red

you were always all over the place with the conversations you had with him

things were slowly changing of how you looked at him

you never thought of liking him because you didnt see him as a person for you to end up with

you had an ideal type but

i think your ideal type was the definition of kirishima written all over it

kirishima noticed your small changes in how you talked to him but he didn't think of your blushing too much

he understood that you were going through puberty so maybe it was just a normal thing for girls to do with guys

it wasnt until he heard your friend talking to you about kirishima

" im not sure, i feel like me liking or possibly liking kirishima... i think maybe it wont work out.." your voice was spoken softly

" maybe but you never know until you try. i get that he is a upperclassman and that many girls could be after him but he is your brother's best friend and your best friend too. if you really like him, i think you should go for it. unless hes taken but seeing the times hes been hanging out with you i doubt he has a partner" he heard them saying.

she likes me ? he thought to himself with red hues coming onto his cheeks

he felt bad for dropping in to hear your conversation about him but he couldnt help himself but think more of this

he knew that you were younger than him but he never saw you in a sisterly way

he always looked at you as a person or more specifically a woman

he didnt mind thinking of you liking him however the only part of him that got him wanting to stop having you on his mind was that

how would it work out ?

and how would bakugou react?

he really wanted to talk to you about it but seeing how uncertain you were about these feelings for him, he decided to try to get your attention and see that he too, had possible feelings for you

the pining

ever since he heard that conversation between you and your friend

he would subtlety leave you small hints

sometimes he would ask if he could take your backpack and hold it for you

during the study sessions between him and bakugou, whenever you would come into their dorm room ( with mr aizawa's permission ) he would ask if he could lean against your shoulder when he would get tired from the countless hours of studying

you would always say yes to his offers

you said yes to it because one, you were having crazy feelings for him but two, you thought it was really sweet of him to ask you for these things

you never had any other guy to ask you these offers, kirishima was the first one

as these small interactions started to happen, you caught yourself hearing a conversation between kirishima and bakugou

" you like my sister ?" bakugou asked.

" uhh...what made you think that?" kirishima nervously asked.

you were hiding from the corner away from the hallway where your brother and kirishima stood.

" oi, shitty hair its fucking obvious" he states.

" haha...how did you know ?" Kirishima nervously replied with a fear of look on his face.

" come on you and my sister, i see the way you look at her and the interactions you have with her. i mean im fine with you to date her but shitty hair, if you hurt her feelings or hurt her in anyway i will blast you " bakugou leans in closely to kirishima, giving him a glare.

" so uh most importantly you're okay with me wanting to date your sister ?"

" yeah as long you treat her right shitty hair"

after that conversation with bakugou and kirishima, your face was really red

the confession

kirishima's confession to you was simple

he wanted to tell you when you and him had some alone time away from anyone else

" hey can i talk to you, y/n?" kirishima asks you.

" sure kiri!" you reply back.

kirishima leads you to the hallways where nobody was seen. his face was slowly becoming dark red and he was fidgeting with his hands.

he was nervous. you started to get sorta suspicious of him acting like this but you couldnt jump to conclusions until you heard what he had to tell you.

" you know , im not sure if you know but i wanted to tell you that i think i been liking yo-"

" i know, kiri. " you truthfully told him.

" you know what?" he asks.

" i know you like me" you smiled at him with a chuckle, " it's cute but i accidentally heard you talking to katsuki about me. i apologize for walking in to hear that but-"

you were caught off guard because the next thing you saw that was coming at you. you felt a warm hug and kiss on your forehead by him. you didn't realize he was holding you this close and had kissed you on the forehead. however your cheeks were speaking what your mouth couldn't produce.

" no please y/n, im glad you found out by then. i actually had overheard a conversation between you and your friend about me" he was looking at you with his eyes focused on your eyes," it was cute. really really cute. but since we know how we feel about each other. ill wait for you after i graduate" he states.

your eyes soften as you heard the word 'wait'. you never had experience anything like this especially finding yourself waiting for your brother's best friend to date you after you graduate UA.

" you'll wait for me? are you sure about that, kiri?" you asked him, your hands were softly caressing his cheeks.

"of course. i mean i dont think i want to give myself away to anyone else but you, y/n" he give a reassuring smile before kissing your forehead again.

" let's wait for each other okay?" he hands his pinky finger for you. you take your pinky finger out, both creating a pinky promise.

the dating and reaction of bakugou

after you graduated and became a pro hero like kirishima and your brother, bakugou

you were happily dating the hardening hero, ejiro kirishima

you both had time for each other on the weekends

movie nights would happen, cuddling sessions and sometimes even cooking sessions too

your hands were always held against his and kissed by him too

you were there for him whenever he had insecurities of his quirk

and he was there for you to lean onto when you had moments of your own insecurities too

but you both balanced each other out

your first kiss with him was shared on your half way mark to your first anniversary of dating

then by the full year mark, you both had kissed so much

you often wore his clothes and shared the things you learned from your online classes

he shared his memories at work with his agency and

it felt like the memories you and him shared when you were in middle school

now bakugou, when he first saw you both together once as a couple

as a couple i said not as " friends "

let's say that he was utterly disgusted when he saw his best friend running over to you, kissing you on the forehead

"DISGUSTING! THATS SO FUCKING GROSS JESUS CHRIST !" he had to walk away from the both of you.

he was happy for you and happy for his best friend

but mostly for you, because

he was your older brother and you were his sister but

he didnt ever want to see you hurt from his best friend

sure he bullied you and was a little brat towards you but only he could make you try or feel hurt

if it was someone else like kirishima, he would be hella disappointed in him but also would feel shitty about himself

he doesn't like admiting he cares for you and wants to protect you

but if he can protect you from a far or tell you something to prevent you from getting hurt

that's all he cared for

because from the day he saw you looking at kirishima, he knew that you had to be with his best fiend than anyone else

besides he was ok with you being next to kirishima in the past

and now hes relieved that someday his best friend will be marrying his baby sister

that's all he could care for

[mlm-mod-taka]

Aw shoot im sorry dude! Next time Ill more thoroughly read your blacklist!!

Can I replace Nagito with Kaito Momota?

STRESSED & ANXIOUS READER • byakuya, gonta, kaito x transmasc reader

dont worry about it, 🦑 anon! (im assuming youre the one that requested this.) and sure! i hope these are okay, ive been a little tired recently so i apologize if there are any typos. enjoy!

tws/cws: mentions of top and bottom surgery.

|| -> mod taka <3

ive stated before that byakuya probably relates to you being stressed about school work, so he does try to help you the best that he can.

will most likely help you study and complete certain projects, there are even times where he'll just do it for you since hes worried that he might stress you out more if he did include you.

if youre anxious about a test, or about handing in a project, he'll try to help you overcome it with logic, and probably slandering your other classmates.

"your project looks just fine, s/o. in fact, its much better than what hagakure brought in. compared to that, you should get a perfect score."

when you come back to him with a good score, he'll invite you over to his house so you can have a "small" celebration, or atleast what a small celebration is in his eyes.

he buys your favorite food, gives you new clothes, there are decorations all over the room that were probably placed by the maids, and a cake in the middle of the table.

is really happy when he sees that you got a good score, honestly. you can clearly see a small smile on his face while he congratulates you, but if you bring it up he'll deny everything, most likely.

now, if youre stressed about transitioning, he has many solutions for that. he can practically contact anyone in the world and get whatever he wants, so this includes you too.

if youre anxious about it for medical reasons, then he'll hire the best doctor in town so that they can tell you the whole process of it, and what changes it'll bring.

if you also plan to have any surgery but youre worried about the pain or the cost, say no more. he'll probably already pay for your surgery in the most prestine hospital, and ask a surgeon about things to help reduce the pain or the swelling.

if youre anxious/stressed about what others will say when you transition, he'll reassure you by saying that no one would ever dare to hurt the boyfriend of byakuya togami. and if they do, then he'll take care of them to save you the trouble.

he doesnt want to be the cause of stress in your life, he wants to be the only you can come to for comfort and reassurance. it sounds really cliche, but he just wants to be there for you so you wont feel lonely like he did.

helps you cope with it. understands that people need to let out their stress somehow, so he'll help you do it. starting with bugs.

will bring you the prettiest bug that he has, and points out all the cool things that make it stand out from the rest of the crowd. will probably make you pet it so you can feel calmer, since it always calms him down.

if you dont like bugs, then he'll just bring you to his favorite sanctuary where all the bugs either need to be seen with a magnifying glass, or theyre hiding in the plants.

that way you dont see them, and you get a pretty view of some exotic plants! he'll talk about subjects that help him deal with stress, so even if it doesnt work on you, then atleast you can look at him being happy.

he does try to help you with some of the subject youre stressed in. so, if youre struggling with science then he'll definitely lend you a helping hand.

if youre struggling with english, then he'll still try to help, but it really doesnt do much since he himself isnt the best at it. would probably ask kaede or shuichi to help you instead.

would definitely try to help by doing your project for you, but hes really clumsy when trying to glue small pieces together, and he probably breaks a few things accidentally. so, he just resorts to being next to you while you do it for moral support.

will be your personal cheerleader! encourages you that your score will be great, and that you dont need to worry about anything. will probably do a small dance that kaede taught him to motivate you.

when you mention that youre anxious about transitioning, he doesnt know what to do at first. gonta will probably give you a speech about how he will still love you, completely misunderstanding your point.

when you explain more in depth, then he'll understand what you mean. what he does to help you is telling you that the process wont hurt that much, and that he'll be there for when you need comfort.

if youre worried about the surgery, then gonta will buy you foods that will help reduce swelling. he has a bunch of pineapples in his fridge for when you get your surgery.

is just very supportive and will do anything you ask, even if hes not great at it. gonta is willing to help you in everyway he can, because he hates to see you so down in yourself.

you? stressed? well, leave it to him! kaito will do things to help lighten your mood so you can atleast laugh for a bit. hes not great at comforting people and doing school things, so hes happy to help you this way.

will make jokes about things that he knows for sure you'll laugh at. hes known you for awhile now, so he definitely knows your sense of humor, and has it down to a t.

it gives him an ego boost when he sees you giggle at his joke, and it makes him happy that youre still able to smile even if youre going through something.

tries to pander alot to your interest, so you can focus on the positive instead of the negative. youre stressed about a test that you studied for? you think youre not gonna do well? incorrect.

of course, lets you vent out your feelings and cry if you want to, hes not gonna force you to be happy and guilt trip you when youre clearly sad.

since hes not the best at expressing it with words, he'll do it in actions. the hug he gives you while youre ranting about how worried and nervous you are all the time is full of sympathy and love.

if youre struggling with a project, then hes happy to help! he'll hold certain things for you, glue things together, write down the notes for you, etc. etc... just alot of small things that shows that he wants to help out.

when you mention that youre also worried about transitioning, he also doesnt get it, but he will agree with whatever you say! just because he doesnt get it, doesnt mean that whatever youre feeling isnt valid.

the main way he helps you with this is by telling you that you will look so handsome when you transition, and telling you all the new and great things that will happen to you.

when you mention that youre worried about the surgery, if youre referring to top surgery, he'll say that you dont need to wear something so tight on your chest anymore, and you can run without feeling it move!

if youre talking about bottom surgery, then he'll honestly mention that you can choose your size. he thinks thats a really great and convenient thing, and its better to look at the positive rather than the negative!

just tries to make you happy. he wants to be that person that can always make you smile in any scenario, no matter how dire. your smile means the world to him, so he'll definitely try his best to get it back.

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Can u do a Tom Holland x black reader

Where there relationship has been secret for a while and reader confronts him while there with the ffh cast at a get together and they have a huge argument in front of everyone and reader starts to think he wants to keep her a secret because of what she looks like . Ending in fluff

YES. BTW IF ANYONE ELSE HAS REQUESTS THROW THEM AT ME I NEED TO MAKE IT UP TO UU GUYS🥺

Summary: huh-

Warnings: uhhhh- a dick thomas and a faking it andddd- NOW NOW NOW NANANANA NOW YÆS- jk fluff

A/n: AYO CHILL WITH THE FOLLOWS-AHHHH I LYSMMMMMMMM-

You wanted to not care, you wanted to act like your feelings weren’t hurt- but it wasn’t true, it wasn’t fair. You sigh and laid in bed with him thinking about everything you gave to him, everything you’ve done for him.....but he can’t even take you outside? What the fuck, no really. What the actual fuck.

Your blood boiled on the inside out, just looking at him clouded your mind with all these negative thoughts. You didn’t want it to happen but you couldn’t help it, and since you refused to shed a tear your head was pounding and lips slightly chapped. Hearing his moan made you jump a bit, turning your back to him as you acted sleep. “Y/n?” He whispered, turning enough to look at you and smiled, leaning over to kiss up your arm all the way to your cheek as he took his hand to rub your waist. “Y/n wake up, I wanna make you coffee” he chuckled, biting your ear before kissing it. You opened your eyes and tried best not to laugh, just something about getting caught always made you giggle.

“Hmm?” You let out when he pressed a kiss to your lips, “I wanna make you coffee” you smacked your lips and laid back down “Thomas I’m still tired” lie, you just wanted time to yourself to think about what your gonna do. “Pleaseeeee y/nnnnn!” He shook you and you groaned “fine” he smiled and bit your revealed shoulder making you squeal and try to wiggle him away leaving him laughing at you before he stood up and walked to the kitchen.

“Soooooo” he tried to ease the sudden tension sitting at the table, looking at you drinking the coffee. “Yes?” You looked up at him, placing the mug down. “Uh, I don’t know....just wanted to speak to you ya know?” “Nah I don’t” you shook your head and he furrowed his eyebrows at the mean comment, wondering what went wrong, but he knew better to bother you or else you’d go off the chain. “Zendaya wants to see you” Tom smiled, putting his hands in his lap and rubbing them together while he looked away from you. “Really?” You asked.

It was like a child and their independent, self centering father were talking....the silence loud and the father barely even caring...or at least that’s what it looked like. “Yeah, and so does Jacob, haz, Laura and tony” he cheered up, excited to see you happy. “When?” You grinned as he chuckled, “today, we have to go for lunch” he moved his chair closer to you and pressed a kiss on your forehead before holding your hand. “I love you so much, y/n” it wasn’t the first time he said that, but when he did it sent you unplesant chills as the angel and devil on your shoulders agrued.

‘If he were to love you then he would show you off’ ‘y/n no, he might be scared to’ ‘what is there to be so fücking afraid of, listen to me’ ‘stay positive! You both are gonna get there’ ‘you’ve been dating for multiple months, it’s not even fücking dating it’s like a fling at this point, just a longggg fling-‘

You cut them both out and looked at him “I-I” you choked. “Don’t worry you don’t have to say it, I already know you do” he chuckled.

‘What a cocky bitch’ ‘he just said he loves you!’ ‘He’s laughing at you because you can’t say three simple words’ ‘he’s not pressuring you into doing anything, listen to me!’ ‘You’ve been getting negative signs every single months, it’s time to fucking move on’ ‘just give him another chance! He can change!’ ‘He won’t y/n, he wont’

You didn’t know how to stick to, your angel couldn’t fight anymore because the your devil kept pointing out the larger things and storing up the pot, you chose angel this time and decided to give him one more single chance, after that it’s done. You know your worth.

You smiled up at him and put a kiss to his lips thanking him “it’s no problem princess”

After that whole shannanagin you washed the dishes and took another nap on the couch this time, you wanted to watch Disney+. Tommy woke you up and told you to get ready so you did, just something comfy like sweats and an oversized hoodie with some uggs, he wore jeans and a sweatshirt per usual. “You ready?” He asked watching you when you looked up and nodded, he smile and held his hand out for you to take and you put it there.

‘He’s using you!’ ‘He’s being nice!’

You told your conscious to shut up mentally and then poof they left, the ride was silent and playing some random songs that you couldn’t catch while he tapped his fingers on the wheel.

Once you came in the small quiet restaurant you all sat around the table saying hi to each other, tom sat next to you on the right and on the left was the boys while the rest of the girls sat across from you. Food was ordered and you all were chatting “sooo I see that you two are hanging out a whole bunch...what’s goin on?” Zendaya said. You looked at Thomas “no we aren’t together” he laughed “she’s a friend”

That hit so deep. To deep. You only nodded your head and filled your cheeks with air, Tom looked at you with a smile, his eyes happy too. “Yeah just friends!” You agree, “right” he said after, you released the air in your cheeks and bit the side of your lip. “Cool” Zendaya smiled and looked down at her plate.

Everything was normal for everyone else except you, the small people on your shoulders appearing.

‘I told youuuuu’ ‘y/n I never thought that I could agree with him’ your angel pointed to your devil ‘but I do, whatever needs to come it has to’ the devil perked up to the words, standing and walking to your ear before whispering all the things he’s done.

As you mind cakes up your eyes flare and nostrils perk and jitter, “I have to use the bathroom” you looked at Tom and he only shrugged but noticing the look in your eye he could tell somethings wrong. You stood and walked in the bathroom, your hands shook as you sat ontop of the counter, taking time to yourself to try and calm down but that’s all that you could think about. Trying to be respectful as possible.

Tom pretended to walk inside the men’s bathroom but instead came into the woman’s, seeing you stare at your hands. “Y/n?” He tried to be gentle. “What the fuck do you want, Thomas?” You looked up at him. “What-“ “get out” “tell me what’s wrong” he stepped in and the bathroom door closed by it’s self. “what’s wrong? We aren’t dating so what does that matter? Leave me alone” “I’m not leaving you a fücking lone, you need to get your act together so you can sit down with your fucking friends” he said sternly.

“What am I? Your fucking pet? Child? No the fuck I’m not!” You stood, walking over slowly. “I’ve tried my fücking best to ignore it, to suck it up, to hide it, but you fucking enrage me SO MUCH that I can’t help it!” “Shut up y/n your being to loud” “IM BEING TO LOUD? HERE ILL BE MORE FUCKING QUIETER!” You raised your voice louder.

Everyone’s eyebrows furrowed as they could hear your screams.

As you got closer he backed up more. “Y/n please-“ “what thomas? You dont wanna let everyone know what a fucking bitch you are? The fact that you LIE TO EVERYONE about our relationship”

At this point you were so blinded you didnt notice that you were infront of everyone.

“Why do you hide me away?” You genuinely asked, and suddenlyyou were crashed by a sudden rush of anxiety. “is it because i dont look like your past exes?” He was backed up against the table as you stopped right infront him, your eyes started to water as he didnt reply.

“Y/n i-“ zendaya harrison and jacob looked at tom too, it was clear what the problem was and zendaya was getting kinda mad and was waiting for an answer.

“Thomas” you begged and he had nothing, he said.... nothing.

Tears fell down his cheek as he watched you sniffle and rub your nose, grabbing your bag and running out.

Everyone watched him in silence as he leaned back into the table “excuse me” the lady gently said, tom noticed it wasnt his table so he only walked out of the store and waited outside.

He watched as you pulled out of the car but he didnt even feel like trying to make you come back, you do need to have some time to yourself.

“Fuck” he let out, wondering why he didnt say anything nor do anything. Harrison walked outside and sat next to him.

“Why?” He asked and tom looked at him. “I dont know i just felt like- i felt like my fans were gonna hurt her” “but you did” harrison pointed at tom “you didnt even give a chance and she stuck by your side for how long?” Tom told away and as he speaked he noticed how much of a dick he was......is.

You cried in the bed while you had your things out, getting ready to pack them up as you could barely breathe choking ob your sobs.

What did i do wrong? What did i do to deserve this? Should i change?

All these things running through your head and distracting yourself from putting your stuff up.

You ened up crying your ass off, crying it longer then the months that youve both been together, its all that you could think about honestly.

So when he came home you didn’t even notice your head hurt and your eyes stung, cuddling the pillow while your clothes were on the floor.

He hated seeing you like this, it made him cry and something he couldnt suck up, so when he saw you hurt and hearing your weeps it instantly hit him and made him come over and sit on the end of the bed, uncontrollable tears falling down his cheeks while he let out matching sobs.

You sat up and saw him, your eyes drying as they filled with hatred you stood and walked but tom beat you to the door, shutting it and locking it behind you.

You pointed to the door silently asking him to let you out but he shook his head refusing to. You walked up to him and tried to take his hand to pull him out the way but instead he forced his arms around your neck to hug you.

“Get off of me!” You yelled muffled. “No” he simply said, kissing your head as tears continued falling down his cheeks. “Get off- please get off!” You tried pushing him but he wouldnt budge.

“You can hit me, push me, whatever you want but im not letting you go” he gripped tighter speaking into your hair. “Fuck you” you muttered and he replied with a ‘i know’.

You both sat in silence all day and he was still hugging you but you didnt hug back until you calmed down, sobbing into his chest. “Y/n, you’re the one i want, you’re the one i need. So im begging you please... just dont leave me” he whispered starring at wall, his fingers touching your hair and trying to sooth you.

“Im scared your gonna leave me tom” you look up at him with your chin on his chest. He looker back at you “i cant even think of it, darling” he rubbed away your tears “but why-“ “i was scared” “what is there to be so afraid of?” “My fans are terrible... at least the 12 year olds” he chuckled “im scared they wont see the same beauty i see in my eyes, id rather keep you to myself then share you with this cruel world”

He reached down and kissed your forehead. “But youve been doing it for so long and-“ you sighed “i didnt feel like it was that long, you made me feel like-like you took it away. Like i could spend forever with you and it woukd seem like it was just an hour or so”

You gave him a weak smile and he returned it, reaching to meet his lips you did, the kiss salty from the shared tears but no one was complaining, you both laid in the bed and he cuddled right behind you, while you were sleep he took a picture and posted it with the caption ‘couldnt ever ask for anything better, love you y/n’

After that he shut off his phone and returned to your side and pressed a kiss on your neck before falling asleep, safe and sound.

[phantom-god-suki]

Precautionary Elegance

Chatter filled the ballroom as more people arrived at the gathering. Every noble in Nightmare was there to either socialize in leisure or with hopes of improving their social image. The elegant dress you were wearing was a bit too pricey for your liking, but at least it accentuated your curves quite nicely. Kaim had to drag you around town all day to find ‘the perfect dress’ for the occasion. On top of that, you were forced to wear this damned corset that made breathing unbearable. However, beauty is pain so you supposed it was worth it. As you observe the ballroom, your eyes unconsciously trailed to the sunshine haired outcast that everyone seems to alienate.

You smile as you see him happily chatting to the lord of the Angels and King, Lucia. After repeating the same cycle for an eternity, he was finally able to liberate you both from the curse. Now that you have your memories back from other timelines, you felt just a tad bit closer to him. No matter how much you tried to be with him though, he always pushed you away. You feel a presence behind you and turn around.

“You will age faster if you keep glaring like that.” A green demon chuckles as he approaches.

“You don't say. Why are you even here Mefy?” You suck your teeth and roll your eyes at him.

“Fine by me hag but if you get old then how am I going to blame you for my pranks?” Mefy muses.

“Oh please. I’ll be a cool granny. Don't you ever think I can't keep up with you. Plus if I'm older than you, you'll have to listen to me for once.” As you were chatting with your frenemy you felt a pair of eyes on you. Mefy notices this and leans into your ear.

“Wanna make your crush jealous?” He whispers. 

“You know this won't work...” You lean in and whisper back. “He said he loves me but lately he has been avoiding me.”

“...There's a word for that you know.” Mefy smirks.          

“Don't you dare say it!” You hit him playfully.

“There might be a way for you to… motivate him” You can see the gears turning in his head as a sly smirk spreads across his face. You can guess what he was planning but was it fair to Lucas? What if he didn’t want you? Doubts in your head started swallowing you.

“Sulking about it wont do you any good. You have to take a risk at some point.” You can tell he was getting impatient.

“You're planning something, aren't you?” 

“Always. Now come on.” He giggles as he grabs your hand and drags you to the balcony away from prying eyes, especially Lucas’.

The cool evening air grazed your skin as you stepped onto the balcony. It was nice to take a breather from over ambitious nobles and all the court drama for a while. The balcony reminded you of some unpleasant memories but you decided to stay on point.

“Ok what's up Mefy? Why did you drag me all the way here?” You said.

Mefy takes out a vile of potion from his many hidden pockets. It was kind of ridiculous how many items he had with him at all times. It's like he had a warehouse in his pockets but considering his magical abilities it might not be far from the truth.

“See this thing? It's a love potion.” He smirks. 

“Love… potion…?” You give him a look of suspicion.

“What's with that look? You don't trust me?” He asks in a sickly sweet voice.

“Fuck no.”

“Aww come on. Have I ever lied to you?” He says as you remember when he used you in alternate timelines. 

“Literally all the time but okay. Ugh just give me this ‘love potion’.” 

“Sure. But you owe me a BIG favor, got it?” Mefy skips away and you sigh, wondering if this was a good idea or not.

You had a basic understanding of potions from living in Nightmare for a while and all your alternate memories. They’re not any different from drugs in the human world. You hid the vial of potion in your sleeve before you entered the ballroom. What you are about to do is really not fair and Lucas does deserve better but so do you. You were sick of being pushed away and not getting any answers from him. Desperate times require desperate measures.

You walk to the drink fountain and grab two drinks for Lucas and yourself. You carefully pour the liquid into Lucas’ drink. You were scared for a moment that the contents in the vile would change the color of the wine but luckily that didn't happen. With both drinks in your hand you seek out Lucas. You find him at the food table eating a cupcake.

“Hey Lucas,” You approach him like a predator stalks her unsuspecting prey. “I got you a drink.” You smile sweetly. 

“Oh thank you Y/N.” He smiles forcefully. You're not sure if it's that he is tired or pissed that you were with Mefy a couple moments ago. He tends to get awfully protective of you whenever you get close to Mefy or Ricardo. And you can understand why though. 

“Ever since you became the advisor I never got a chance to talk to you. I missed you a lot you know.” 

“I'm sorry it's been really stressful lately. Not all nobles are happy with the decisions that Lucia made.” He says as he takes a sip. Bingo. You get a surge of arousal just by looking at his neck and collarbones. He was a model in your eyes.

“Y/N?” His question snaps you back to reality. 

“Sorry, I couldn't hear that part.” You answer sheepishly.

“I was just saying if we could go somewhere else. It's really stuffy here.” 

With that you started following Lucas through many many identicals hallways the castle had. You reached out and grabbed his hand nonchalantly. 

“So where are we heading?” You can a sharp inhale escape from Lucas’ mouth.

“Planetarium. So we could get a breather. I'm so sick of the nobles but don't tell them that” He winks. 

The planetarium was huge. In fact, huge was an understatement. Above you was a dome shaped glass that made the stars seem bigger than they actually are. By the time you arrive you can hear the subtle huffing coming from Lucas. You ignore it and stare up at the sky.

“They are beautiful.” You say looking up at the constellations.

“Yes… they are..” He replies while looking at you. Lucas was really warm. He had a cute blush on his face already. The potion was working wonderfully. 

“Did I take your breath away Lucas? You are blushing” You nudge his side smirk. 

“O-oh it’s just a little warm in here that's all haha.” He shyly averts his gaze. 

Both of you sit at the bench in the planetarium and talk about your daily lives as if nothing was wrong. You decide to make a move and scoot a little closer to him until you can feel his warmth but he moves away. You get closer again and he moves away once again until he has nowhere else to move on the bench. 

You put your arms around his shoulders. 

“Y/N? W-what are you doing?” He whimpers pathetically. You lean to his ear and whisper. 

“I missed you Lucas. You never pay visits anymore.” 

“I-Im sorry it's just Lucia and the nobles-” He shudders and takes a sharp breath as you lick his ear. 

“That's no excuse Lucas~” You got him where you wanted. It's like he was under your love spell. Well he is under the potions influence literally. You sit on his lap so he can't escape. Not this time. The games end tonight whether it ends in your favor or not.

Lucas wraps his arms around you. Poor Lucas you thought. It was bitchy of you to do this but the look on his face was delicious. Droopy eyes, face red as a tomato, winded. You barely touched him and he was wrecked already.

“Do you love me Lucas?” You whisper against his lips.

“I do… more than anything…” The way he was rocking his hips sent shivers up your spine. This is all you’ve ever wanted. Him between your legs… where he belonged. 

“Prove it baby…” You murmured. His eyes were glossed with a dark, desperate and lustrous look. He was very motivated as Mefy would say. Even though there was no one but you in the planetarium, this was a public space.

‘What if someone walks in on you. Maybe this wasn't the right time-’ He worried to himself.

His thought process comes to a halt when you roughly grab his hair and slammed your lips against his. You can feel a deep shiver run through him. The taste of his lips were sweet probably by the cupcake he was sampling earlier. He let out soft whimpers and pulled your body closer to him as he was easing up. If only he was inside of you… You started removing his clothes and revealed his pale skin. 

“W-Wait! What if someone hears-” 

“Then we'll just have to be really quiet.” You smile at him. “Let me help you”

You got up from Lucas’ lap and easily stripped of your evening gown to reveal lacy lingerie. Lucas gasps and covers his face.

“Lucas… I want you to look at me…” With that you started touching yourself sensually and swaying your body to an imaginary song. Lucas was looking at you from the gap between his fingers. The damn corset was limiting your movements to an extent but it wasn’t so bad. You grab the strap of your bra and let it slide over your shoulders. You then toss the undergarment onto the ground in a whimsical manner. His eyes wander around your body before fixating on your chest. “Oops.” you say cheekily as if you accidentally dropped your bra. In a single gracious movement, you bend over, pretending to pick up your bra. You can feel his gaze on your ass intensify as you begin to peel off your panties in front of him and show how excited he made you. It seemed like Lucas forgot how to breathe after seeing your little stunt. You sit on his lap again and grind yourself against his thigh.

“This is what you do to me Lucas...” You moan. With shaky hands he grabs your waist and pulls you closer. It's like you were made out of glass and he was afraid of breaking you. You grab his hands and put them on your breast. 

“Touch me…” You say before resuming the kiss. He was a lot more eager to please you. Lucas started massaging your soft breasts while kissing you hungrily. You quickly unzip his pants and pull down his underwear to reveal his erection. Just looking at it his member makes your mouth water. A slight glistening on the tip of his cock suggests how aroused he already is.  When you grab it and give it a jerk, Lucas can't help but moan loudly against your lips. You break the kiss. 

“Ah ah ah Lucas... You need to be quiet or we'll get caught...” You tease him.

“It feels s-so good.. I can't stop it…” He stutters softly. 

“Well I did say I would help you…” Lucas squealed in shock when you stuff your panties in his mouth. The taste of your juices spread on his tongue and muffled moans emerged from his throat as his lips pursed over your panties. You resumed stroking his manhood as Lucas threw his head back in pleasure and exposed his neck. It was too tempting not to mark him like this. You pepper his neck with kisses before focusing on a certain area to mark. His body convulsed in pain and pleasure when you sank your teeth into his soft flesh. You tasted a slight tang of iron as you broke the skin. His cock started tensing up in your grip signaling his inevitable release. Lucas trembled when his orgasm hit him like a train. He spurts his hot load all over your chest and corset. You remove your panties from his mouth so he could breathe easier. The advisor took a big gulp of air as he tried to compose himself. You then bring your fingers to your lips and taste him while looking intensely at Lucas.

“I'm glad you enjoyed yourself” You teased.

“Y/N… why..?” He whimpered shakily. “Of all of them… why me..?” Tears welled in his eyes. The sound of his sorrowing echoed through the planetarium's walls. Your blood ran cold for a second. What was he referring to? Does he hate you now?

“L-Lucas?”

“I'm not like you!.. I'm not even like them. All my life, I’ve had a single purpose. To save Nightmare...I wasn't meant to have you...” He says while breaking down. You breathe a sigh of relief while tears of sorrow run down his cheeks. 

Lucas tensed up when you embraced him. “I know but.. It's not like that anymore. We saved this world. Together. Now we can be free.” You kiss his tears then softly kiss his lips. This kiss was more passionate than all the rest. You left little pecks on his lips before slipping in your tongue. He kisses you back almost immediately while his hands explore every crevice of your body.

“Lucas please… I want you in me…” You whimpered. He takes you by surprise when he lifts your hips and slams you down his cock, filing you to the hilt, stretching you. Lucas waited for you to get adjusted to his girth for a moment. “God you feel amazing… so warm and tight... “ Lucas growls against your ear.

After getting used to his size you started grinding your hips against his. Lucas was still somewhat sensitive from his previous orgasm but he didnt care. Pleasure was consuming his mind, throwing all the reason from the window. Both of you were trying to hold back your moans but with each thrust it was getting more difficult. Then suddenly you found your back on the bench. Lucas was on top of you, looking at you with an intense expression.

“Even though I still feel like I don’t deserve you, I am going to cherish you with all of my heart.” He softly smiles and kisses your cheek before starting to move. As soon as he thrusts inside, you wrap your arms around his body and dig your nails into his back. 

“Fuck...Lucas...your huge cock feels so good inside of my tight pussy.” Lucas clenches his teeth and starts to move faster. He leans down to suck on your nipples. He licks one nipple while flicking the other one with his fingers. 

“Princess… You are doing so great… I love you so much.” He moves faster while lifting up his head to place soft kisses on your neck and lets out small moans. You shiver every time you hear his beautiful moans on your body. It didn't take long for you to reach the edge of climax.

“Lucas...please...more. I’m gonna cum.” You feel drool running down your cheek. Lucas licks your cheek and leans into your ear.

“Come for me then.” You whimper and melt with his words. You can’t hold back anymore and cum. His pace became erratic and you could hear the low growls in his throat become louder and louder. He is about to pull out but you lock your legs around him and pull him closer gently.

“It’s okay Lucas...You can come inside.” He smiles and lets out a loud groan before releasing inside of you. He collapses on top of you and hugs your shaking body. 

“Y/N...Are you alright? Are you hurting anywhere? ” Lucas breathes into your neck and leaves a light kiss. 

“I… I’m okay Lucas. I love you. Please never say that you don't deserve me.” You lean into Lucas’ head and stroke his hair.

“Alright Y/N. Thank you so much for accepting me… I love you so much.” You can hear a little sniffle as he nods his head. “Can you stand up? Let me help you.”

“I can stand but i don’t think I can walk properly after such a performance.” Lucas blushes at your words and helps you stand. He grabs your dress and helps you put it on. He then sits you down while he gets dressed. 

“You're so handsome… It makes me want seconds~” You smirk as you stand up by yourself. 

“Just wait till I get you in bed then. I won't be holding back.” He chuckles as you reach over and smack his ass. His back jolts up and he turns to get revenge but you are already wobbling away. He smiles and walks slowly behind you to admire the stars for just a little longer. You make your way back to the hall and feel an arm wrap around you. You look to see Lucas smiling softly at you. You both enter the hall holding each other. You look around before seeing Mefy at the drink table sipping wine. He spots you and smirks while lifting his glass. You chuckle while Lucas looks at you genuinely confused. 

“What is up with that little gremlin?” He squint his eyes and whispers to you. 

“Ahh nothing honey, he's just being dumb~” You laugh his comment off. 

“What else is new.” Lucas rolls his eyes while grabbing you closer and pulling you in for another kiss before saying. 

“I can't wait for tonight.” 

[feisty-fae]

If you still do the flower ask thingys.. 👉👈 𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙤 :)

HoooH boY hEre we gO-

Alisons: Sexuality?

I sexually identify as a can of beans

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

Cis female she/her

Amaryllis: Birthday?

27 September

Anemone: Favorite flower?

All flowers pretty,, but stargazer lily, rose, dahlia and cherry blossoms

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

I don't watch tv but I'll list some other stuff i like to watch:mha, beastars and aggretsuko

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

Idk depends on scenario??

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

"Kanye West he likes, fingers in his ass."

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

Any Milkshakes or smoothies (mostly banana and strawberry for milkshake and p much anything for smoothie)

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I've never had kith

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

Well you see yes but actually no

Baneberries: Favorite song?

I listen to a lot but to keep it short:baby in the kitchen, in my mouth and friends slowed (chase atlantic)

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

We p chill fam

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

Irl bestie,, shes not on tumblr lol

Begonia: Favorite color?

PinKKK

But i like most colours

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

Cats,,,,

FoxES,

ANYTHING CUDDLY AND CUTE

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

Night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

I'd be like a doggo bc it would be the most fun i think-

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a vet but then when my granny asked me "but whos gonna clean up the animal poop?" I was like "eWW pO0pP!" and then decided that mayb i shouldn't be a vet

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

They're either really kind and sweet

Or literal demons from hell

Legit no inbetween

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

I'm afraid of lot of things-

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

I was one dumbass bitcg-

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

Idk eat pizza and cry or smth ajakamkw

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

Single

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

NEW YORKKK, CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFF THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN'T DO NOW YOU'RE IN NEW YOOORKKK

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

When someone hugs me or just generally spends time with me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

Nop

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

I used to have piercings when i was a bab but eHh haven't worn them since and i dont think my ear holes are big enough now-

California Poppy: Height?

4'10 grrr I'm the omega midget and I'll devour ur ankles

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

Nop

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

Pant, pink top and black hoodie

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

I think i have??

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

My mom and my dad

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

I never kith

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

I dont have one so imma say sans bc it always looks out of place and makes me laugh-

Columbine: Are you tired?

No

I feel like screaming and jumping around my room like a crackhead

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

Nothing in particular ig

Coneflower: Dream job?

Smth kinda fun and art or design related hopefully,,,,

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert but i also get lonley easily

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

Nop,,,,

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

I would get run over by 5 monster trucks, jump off a plane, get mauled by 10 bears, get trampled on by a stampede, get brutally tortured for 12 hours straight, yeet myself into the Grand Canyon and then break all my bones with my bare hands if they weren't broken already

Ok basically i care a lot

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

I had this st bernard plush called Sparky and this lion named Sammy,,

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libra

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

My memory is legit so bad it's probably concerning uHHH

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

Mayb art??

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

Ehhh i might reason with them and then if they still disagreed I'd just keep the relationship a secret

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

My parents

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

Ehhh arT

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

EhhHh everything that isn't art-

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

Oh boy here comes my shitty memory-

Hmmm

Idk but I'm mostly happy that I've been more social and stuff and i feel like im kinda coming out of my shell a bit

Not sure what to say for other 2 bc nothing in particular has really happend?

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

Ehhh oK??

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

Mayhapsn't

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

I hope to pass all my exams and get an okish job mayb

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

1.fRIENBS ILY MY HABIBIS

2. Fammm

3. eHhh yummy food,,

4. Drawing and uhhh art

5. EPIC MUTUALS

6. Ok idk what else aside from like serious stuff like house and etc.-

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

Drawing, crying, venting to a friend/parent

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

Hugssss,kith,cuddle, *draws u stuff*

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

MmmmmMy aRRt?

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

Wake up

Don't go to school

Vibe with friends

Sleeb

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

MmMmMM aRT-

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Ehh 8yrs? We met in hell school

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Friendos

Mom

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

6..?? Aa idk theres some people that idk if they'd consider me a friend or not,,

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Idk any compliment is best compliment for me,,

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Ew yucky gröss

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

m y a r t

Also my hair bc its soft and wavy,,

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

Everything else-

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Climb trees and do dumb shit

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Same irl bestie i mentioned before

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

MmmmmmMMM,,,

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

MMMmMMmMMMMmmmMMm,,,,,,

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

Well I chose Fae bc i thought it sounded pretty

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

Idk what to rlly say lmao

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

Kinda the same but i had toys everywhere-

Also when i was like 5 i had this legit fucking cursed thomas the tank engine shaped bed that i actually found a pic of but it's FUCKING HORRIFYING SO I PROBS WONT SHOW HERE-

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

EW BEING A TEENAGER SUCKS ASS HOW DO I UNDO????

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Hi mom ily ur epic

Onions: Tell about your dad.

Hi dad ily ur epic

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

Omg i miss my grannies sm bc i couldn't see em this year bc nasty pandemic

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

Haha shit memory gor brrRR-

I don't really remember too many specific parties but when i was like 7-10 i had these epic parties in those birthday places with the giant play areas

I kinda wish i wasn't too old to go to them sobs

Peony: What was your first job?

I haven't had a job yet

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Hmmmm idk? I haven't really thought abt that but i don't really mind i just wanna find someone to vibe with,,

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

I cri

Pink: Where is home?

Home is home home

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

Now where do i start...

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

I look up to people that are kind, caring, brave, funny, cool or stronger than me ig?

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

Basically my current life minus school, stress,pandemic and responsibilities lmao

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

I used to believe in ghosts after i thought i encountered one

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

Hermmmst

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

Peoples laughsss also music

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Bro i dont have one,, my aphantasia makes it hard for me to remember stuff-

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

A

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

I wantttt better chargersss thattt donttt telll meee thatt myyy tablett will finishh chargingg innn 1 dayy andd 7 hoursss

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

Kinda difficult but im opening up more

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

fRIENDS,,,,,wAh

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hrs

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

Idk ig i kinda have to go to school and do stuff

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

Non existant

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

My black and white stripy top, and all my hoodiess

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

I don't think i have just one aesthetic bc im drawn to so many different aesthetics at the same time-

Like vintage, neon, dark, spoopy, pastel, cute, etc etc

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

OMG I LEGIT JUST SCREAM AT ANYTHING ANYONE GIVES ME-

IF SOMEONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE ME SMTH I CRY,,

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

🤏

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

I haven't been reading anythinggg

But i should really finish reading Percy Jackson bc it do be picking up dust-

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Everywhere

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Mmm yummy 👅

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

I am currently living and breathing yes

[wolferals]

audition

Arón Piper imagine

*

saturday, january 18th 11:22pm • Today was Monday, August 22nd and all I've seen since 8am were wannabe actors reading their stupid lines to us pretending they were fucking Johnny Depp himself. God I was so sick of it, but since I've been grounded my dad made me cast people for this movie he was going to direct. Why were you grounded, you may ask. Well let's say, we just moved to Madrid basically to the end of the world since I grew up in America all my life. Yeah, my first days of school didnt really turn out to be super great, my english teacher was super racist in my opinion. She kept making „jokes" about my country/ and at some point i just snapped and told her how she dared to be so fucking racist. My class agreed with me yet my teacher didnt and put me in detention first and then called my dad. So yeah, thats why he's making me do this.

Some might think, its not a punishment to cast people for a „super cool movie" but have u ever been in a all white room for 10 hours listening to the same sentences over and over, being read by the worst people ever? No, exactly.

Its been exactly 4 hours now, its been around 12 when we decided to take a short break to get some food. I walked around the building for a while, grabbed a iced coffee at the bar and then sat down on a couch in the foyer to immediately text my friends from back home about how horrible i was feeling.

I didnt even get to text 5 words until my dad came around the corner saying something like:"Y/n, lets go. The people wont cast themselves. I mean they'd love to but that's our job." He then laughed loudly and almost couldnt stop. One thing about my dad: He thinks he's hilarious but in my opinion he's a little too full of himself. No offense, i love him of course.

Therefore I walked back to the cruel looking white room and sat down on my chair sipping my iced coffee. „Alright, next up, we have a Joshua Hamilton reading for the part of Jamey." I rolled my eyes. Yet again another Jamey. Ive heard the line:"No way Daniel, are you insane?! Have you even thought about the fact that you could get fucking killed?" about 50 times today.

And to be honest, the only person i'd like to get killed right now would be myself.

„Hello, my name is Joshua Hamilton, I'm 22 years old and I'll be reading for the part of Jamey." The tall, skinny looking guy then spoke after *extremely happy looking* entered the room. Well no offense but super happy people make me puke.

He then read his lines, horribly. He was just too enthusiastic and grinning through the entire thing. It was supposed to be a mad Jamey yelling at his brother who was about to attack his ex girlfriend's killer.

Dad then told him, they will call him. But lets be honest here, obviously they wont. • Alright so another 4 hours passed and we had almost all important characters casted, except Jamey. The crew was getting impatient and we were all super tired. „Dad how many are left?" I then asked because I wanted nothing more than this to end. „26." he answered, sounding annoyed. So was I. „Jeez, for fucks sake." I exclaimed and leaned back in my chair. „Y/n, watch your language!" He scoffed and took a sip of his water before leaning back as well.

„Okay next off we have a Arón Piper. He is Spanish-German, which wouldnt quite match with the way we pictured Jamey. But lets get the guy, kay?" Evan, the producer spoke after reading some reviews.

„Mhm." my Dad hummed. He seemed extremely tired and messed up to be fair.

As I said, I was annoyed and super damn hungry but the second this guy walked in, all my senses were on and I couldnt help but stare at him. He was tall, had curly hair, an earring on his left ear, chocolate brown eyes and a smile that could kill. „Hola,, I'm Arón." My dad seemed to like him too because he sat up straight scanning him up and down. „How old are you Arón?" Lucy, the executive producer asked him, smiling as well. „I'm 23." The handsome guy answered calm and sent me his billion dollar smile.

fuck • I smiled back and for whatever fucking reason I just said:"You must be working out, am I right?" Everyone looked at me but I didnt care, I just looked him right in the eyes and saw him laugh. „Y/n what the hell?" My dad whispered sounding pissed yet confused. „Jamey is a fit dude, he goes to the gym 6 times a week. We have to consider the fact that the actor has to be healthy and all as well." I tried to get out of the weird situation but actually I was just wishing for him to take off his shirt to show us -okay, me- his amazing abs I bet he had. „Uhm to be honest, I just dance, thats it. But you could call that a work out since Ive been doing it since I was 7 years old."

The others seemed impressed too, so Lucy cockily said:"So if acting wouldnt work, youd become a professional dancer?" Arón laughed again and answered:"Yeah, probably. But i havent even read my lines yet."

The entire time he was acting his lines, I was just staring at his god like face, every emotion, every move, every little change in his body language was perfect. My dad looked like he was impressed too and he then, after Arón had finished, spoke:"Thank you, Arón. That was amazing!" He smiled happily and answered fully paying attention:"Oh gracias, it means so much coming from you!" He walked up to my dad to shake his hand and then took back his portfolio. „Honey what do you think? Should we put him in round 2?" I looked over to my dad, took a glance at Arón who was smiling cutely at me. „Nah."

Everyone gave me a confused look and in Arón´s eyes I could see pure fear.

„I think we should give him the part.“

My dad smiled, nodded at me and then spoke:“Alright, Arón Piper, congratulations.“

Arón walked over to me and stuck his hand out for me to shake it. I slowly took his hand and, okay that might sound weird, but it felt so damn good to touch him. God I sound like a creep. No but for real his hand was a lot bigger than mine and really warm compared to my -always cold- claws. „Gracias." he said quietly and stared directly into my eyes while smiling. I wanted to say something like:"Of course, you deserve it, you were amazing." but i just couldnt, i wasnt able to look anywhere but into his beautiful brown eyes.

My dad saw that and cleared his throat loudly. „Thank you again Arón, we will call you next week for further information. But for now, since Jamey is the main male protagonist and we will be filming most of the scenes with you, we'd like to invite you and the other main actors to a dinner party tomorrow night. We hope you're free and we would text you further dates later on today."

-„Yes I'm free, that'd be amazing! Thank you so much! See you tomorrow then, bye guys." He grabbed his jacket from off the floor and left the room smiling brightly.

-„We've got it! We found, first of all the perfect Jamey, and we finally have all the actors, people!" Lucy shouted and sighed relieved. „Alright then, lets celebrate!" My dad exclaimed happily and the others stood up after him. „I'll be right out, I'll go to the bathroom real quick." I informed the guys and just simply hit the bathroom next to the audition room. When i checked back to see if the room had been locked, I noticed that a portfolio book was left on the table. I grabbed it, opened it and and noticed it was Arón's.

Right, he grabbed it before, then shook our hands and put it down again. Then he walked out without it.

So I quickly locked the door and ran through the building, past my dad saying:"Be right back." I figured, Arón couldnt have gotten very far, so I sprinted down the stairs, out of the front door of the building and i looked around if I might spot him. I then saw a guy that looked like him walking down the street towards a silver car and i ran as fast as i could to reach him.

„Arón!" I yelled and stopped once I finally reached him. „Yeah?" he was about to get in the car but turned around. „You forgot that." I passed him his book and tried to catch my breath real quick. „Oh god, thank you! I totally forgot about that. Gracias." He took it smiling.

While I was trying to breath, he opened the car door and said:"Just a second." Me, still dying from all the running, I was now leaning against a wall. „You okay?" -„Huh? Yeah. Im.. good." I was kind of embarrassed at how unathletic i was. „U sure?" he came closer and looked actually quite concerned. „Ya dont worry. Uhm.. See you.. tomorrow..at the.. party?" i tried to play it off and stood straight again Arón smiled again and answered:"Of course. Cant wait!" He then walked back to the car and sent me another smile before getting in.

Damn, this guy.

[adlexegam]

please tell me, am i in the wrong?

so basically i decided to join here cause i at least know my post wont get removed here. i tried posting my story on reddit’s AITA but my post kept getting removed because on their posts you cant post about abuse. so fuck it, here i am, hoping for someone other than my bf and myself to tell me im not wrong. context:i decided to invite my boyfriend over without telling my parents, i did it max 5 times. i was 16 at the time and he was 18. i got caught and my punishment was to get my phone taken away, my number cancelled, im no longer allowed to drive a car or get my license, im only allowed one friend, im not allowed my laptop anymore, im no longer allowed outside without constant supervision, cameras were installed in and out of the house, and just about every day since december of 2019 ive been getting told how disgusting i am for wanting to be with a n****r (my bf’s half puerto rican half white, i’m half hispanic and half white too), how if he was white he would have come to the front door and shook my parent’s hands and asked for permission to date their daughter, how im a dirty n****r lover who will get pregnant from him and have to slave away to take care of our half breed mistakes, how if i stay with him he’ll sell my body on the streets for money, how if i have sex with him ill get every std on the plant, all that 50′s bullshit. ive gotten pregnancy tested (im celibate), drug tested (mom claims she smelled weed in my room, so he’s a dirty n****r drug dealer apparently forcing me to do drugs, guess what i am against drugs since i know itll change my brain chemistry and i have weak lungs),and std tested (still celibate).  for the first few months after they found out i was allowed my laptop at home to do homework, and only allowed my phone during school. one day i got home and i got greeted to the fact that i no longer have a laptop and now have to use the house computer to do all my work at home. of course i got mad because for months ive been doing everything they wanted, and suddenly im being punished for being suspiciously good? my mom got on top of me and fought me to take off my backpack to take my airpods too, left my phone on the kitchen table. i grabbed my phone and locked myself in my room. she found out i took my phone, and once i unlocked the door i held my phone above my head so we can just talk. instead she got on top of me and started scratching me and all over my arms to get to my phone. i dropped it from the pain of the scratches on my arms. earlier that same day i was getting ready for school with my laptop open, camera taped over, looking for any school assignments i missed. my mom unlocked my door and saw my nude body getting ready with my laptop open, and just went back to the kitchen table and told my dad how much of a slut i am and how im posting my nude body on the internet. i quickly put on clothes and came up to her yelling how im just getting ready for school and how theres tape over the camera. i even told her to look at the laptop, the only thing open was google classroom. my dad got up and started yelling at me for being a slut and for talking back. for once i finally got tired of being yelled at, i finally stood up for myself. he punched me in the face and when my mom got in between to defend me (she caused the whole situation), his swings went back in on her stomach. i screamed dont hit my mother and tried to push her off him, he used the oppurtunity to grab my shoulder by my uniform and punch me in the shoulder. everything was a blur after that. my mother drove me to school and yelled how i shouldnt have been a whore on the internet. i fought back. before i got to school i yelled “please, just fuck off”. this is important later, because she used me saying that as the excuse for her getting on top of me and scratching me and ripping my backpack off my back. because i swore at her. it was okay. but here’s the important part. he hit me in front of the camera. i knew the police would ignore the emotional abuse ive been getting for my entire life. i got my physical evidence. finally, after 16 years, i had my evidence. i told my boyfriend what happened, and we agreed to meet after school the next day and call the police. i wanted to be emancipated, since my parents adamantly agreed that i (apparently) only wanted to be emancipated because my ‘poor street rat n****r boyfriend’ was manipulating me into it. ive been dreaming of this day since i was 8, when i realized what ive been told wasnt normal. they showed up on the corner of where i called. i told the policemen what happened to me the day before. they asked if i had any scars or bruises. i said no, he didnt punch me hard enough to get a bruise the next day, and my mother didnt scratch me hard enough to get scars. they knew what would happen if they gave me physical evidence. after i said that, the policeman interrogating me asked me something that will stay with me until the day i die. “he never really hit you, did he?” i began crying and saying yes! yes he did! i have video footage to prove it! we have cameras in the house! it happened right in front of the cameras! more questions ensued, and i was brought to the police station while my boyfriend waited at a local coffeeshop for me to finally be free from the abuse. at first i was scared, but the cops calmed me down. i told them everything. all my memories spilled from my mouth like water from the niagra falls. everything came rushing out, my fears, my forgotten memories i forced into my box of never to be remembered, the times before i feared for my life, the times i knew something wasnt right. i told them everything from the bottom of my heart. they listened and asked all the right questions.(if you want to know what happened to me and what i told them, ill post them in a future post if anyone cares)  one of the officers, the only one with melanin skin and a father to a beautiful girl, expressively felt sick from my stories, from my life. not even he could understand why, as a father, why any parent would find it right to do to me what they did. he was my favourite police officer, he was the kindest and the only one who really wanted me to feel comfortable. he talked to me on the level of a person, not a child. eventually cps came and he told me to tell her everything too. i did. she asked where i wanted to go if i got emancipated. i said to live with my boyfriend, his family is willing to take me in and once i get a job ill pay minimal rent so i can be free. she said ‘no, you cant live with a minor.’ i said he’s not a minor, he’s 18. she said ‘oh, then yeah you definetly cant live with him’ she said if i wanted to leave i would be put into a women’s shelter since i was too old to be adopted/put into foster care. she said i would be r*ped if i was put in there. she said i should just take it until im 18, then ill be fine. she said that there were no scars or bruises, so it wasnt that bad. (this part is blurry, the more i remember it the more the memories overlap, im sorry for any confusion) the police interrogated my parents. they believed every word they said. my mother used whitepages as a source to prove how my boyfriend lied about his name. my mother used our hours long calls to prove how im obviously being manipulated to lie. she said how im just a liar, as my father said, a pathological liar. they had no cause to me being a pathological liar, i was just born that way. i was lying to get into my manipulative boyfriend’s arms for my body to be used by him and his friends. i was obviously being manipulated, why would i want to leave my loving parents arms? i was obviously doing this just out of anger of getting my laptop and phone taken away, obviously. its not like they EVER did anything wrong to me, they were just teaching me to grow up a mature adult, ready for the world. they would never put their hands on me. the police never looked at the cameras. they never questioned me again. i was a liar. at home the child protective services lady said my room quote ‘ranked of weed’. i have never done weed. my boyfriend has never done weed in my room.  at the station they said they couldnt find a record of my boyfriend. i later found out that, even after he gave them his social security number, they still questioned his existence. at the station they told my parents they couldnt find his record (he has none, hes never committed a crime). at home a therapist came. to my knowledge, my boyfriend was never real (no record) and i would still have to be at home. i wanted to die. the therapist said she wanted to take me to a mental hospital. my mom was there and consented. my dad later came home, yelled at me in front of the therapist. she said im suicidal, with his consent she would call her supervisor to take me to the local mental hospital. he consented. while she called her supervisor from across the kitchen, he said: “she wants to kill herself? fuck if i care, she can drown herself in a river for all i care” i sat there shocked.  the mental hospital was a blur. once i got home i got my phone taken away too. my only communication would be from the 10+ year old computer we have in the kitchen. facing out so anyone that walks by can see what im doing. one of the cameras is watching me at all times, but is positioned so that it cant see what i am doing.  once i got home i used our kindle fire. i logged into discord on incognito mode. i asked him to send me his birth certificate. was he even real? was i even real? was our late nights of cuddling nothing? were the walks in the park nothing? were the ‘i love you’s nothing? did meeting his family from an hour long train ride mean nothing? were the chinese food dates nothing? were the confessions of our embarassing secrets nothing? were the times we had non-vaginal sex and laughed in the middle from how silly we were being mean nothing? were the times we had tiffs and talked it out mean nothing? did he save me from my ex-abusive partner just to use me? were the times we layed down next to each other with the only covering being my blanket, staring at each other in wonder of how lucky each of us were, was that nothing? when we spent hours telling each other our  entire life stories, was he lying? did the times he called my body the most beautiful thing he ever has seen, the times he’s said he didnt think he’d ever fall in love again from his ex, was that a lie? he sent his birth certificate. it was real. his birth date his name it was all real. he told me what happened to him. i told him what happened to me. he apologized for it going the way it did. i apologized for doubting him. child protective services sent a therapist me and my mother had to meet with weekly. 2 hours, 10 times. it lasted until the first weeks of quarantine. me and him are still in the same love we’ve has since before he found out how truly insane my parents are. the only reason we’ve ever gotten into fights is from how much he wants me to run away (before you say ‘ok maybe the parents were right, he sounds manipulative’, no, he only says that after every time something else happens at home and how he has to cope with the fact that im okay with being abused since its my normal. he wants me to run away from the abuse, not just so we can see each other again, so i wont be hurt anymore). he’s still the man i want to marry, the man i want to call mine and for him to call me his. we get scared the other might get tired of the waiting and just decide to leave for someone each other’s family would like. we talk through it. we know we can wait. i know i can take it until im 18. he knows he’ll be prepared to take me in once im 18. we know we can take the late nights awake, missing each other. we can take it because this isnt puppy love. this isnt purely passionate love. he wants me to be safe, and i want to finally be free. so you’re up to this point and you’re probably thinking one of three things: jesus christ can this lady capitalize anything?? or holy FUCK this is long it better be good or why did she title her post that? first of all, i do what a want nehenehenehneh second of all, whoever reads this needs the full context before i ask my question third of all, because of what happened a couple of days ago. a month ago my dad passed from covid-19. ive become the housewife while my mother has taken over the family business and my brother does the grass once a month. my mother still cooks, but i clean the dishes and fold laundry every day and vaccuum the whole house twice a week. a letter came in the other day stating how our child protective services case is now closed. they never found signs of physical abuse or neglect. my mother reminded me for the infinitieth time how stupid i am for getting manipulated. how much of a dirty n*****r lover i am. how i will never be anything without her. then she brought my father into this i started the situation, which made him depressed. he was depressed, so he couldnt fight off the virus. because he couldnt fight off the virus, he died. she blamed me for killing my father she blamed me for my father for deciding to go out every day without a mask for my father deciding to put in his eyedrops in an insanitary environment she blamed me  it was my fault i knew i was leaving when im 18 i knew i wanted to tell my mother at least a month before i left that i was leaving but now theres no going back once im 18, im gone im never turning back i will never be treated like this or talked down like this ever again but who will clean? who will vaccuum? who will make sure the house is organized? do i stay? can i even go? i just dont know anymore should i go? and well, what i started this post with, please tell me, am i in the wrong? for planning on leaving when im 18? to finish this post, i just want to say a few things. dont tell me to call the police or child protective services.i already did. they believed my abusive parents and told them how they can protect themselves against me, since i was the one who started all this. plus, look at the fucking news. no fucking wonder they believed my parents. my boyfriend looks hispanic and i look white. no fucking wonder they believed my parents. fuck cops. not all cops are bad, but no cop should fucking gun down people for their race. no person should be judged from some racist  person saying “oh im fearing for my life” and the person in question is black/a poc and is doing fucking nothing. they believed my fucking abusive parents because they threw my bf under the bus as bait and the police went for it. dont come after my family. all that will do is make everything worse for me. my mother can’t even look at a poc without claiming they’re related to my boyfriend and are going to follow her to kill her. dont do anything to me. just please answer my question. please just tell me if im in the right or if im in the wrong. i know this is abuse. i know whats happening to me is wrong. but i know i can take it. i know i can survive. i will survive and achieve my dream of becoming a doctor. i will be my own person. i am me

[toshis-puppycat]

Dreamscape Part One

Masterlist

It was a new day, your father was driving you to your campus. You were starting a new semester at college. Correction, you were starting a new semester at a university. And your dad agreed to have you move out and get your own space on campus, so long as your grades didnt drop and visited when you weren't busy studying. You jumped at the opportunity leaving the house, you loved your dad but it was difficult to grow and flourish like your peers did while living with him. Your father parked the car at the apartment complex you'd finally be moving into that day.

"Now honey, remember to call" your father sighed, looking at you fondly. "I guess you dont have to remember to call now, you're gonna be living here!" Your dad said, you could hear the twinge of sadness in his tone. You knew it was hard on your father.

"Papa it's not like I'm gonna forget you and mama." You stated, your voice cracking. You loved your dad, seeing him worry like this made you worry for him too. He sighed and looked forward to your building. 

"Just be safe, alright? I I don't want my daughter getting hurt trying to make a living for herself." He says.

"I wont papa, remember I'll fight anyone." You joked, although it wasn't too truthful. You would in fact fuck up anyone who messed with you, but you didn't know anything past the simple defense training that your father was able to teach you when you were younger. 

"I haven't said this much, but sweetheart. Im very proud of you." Your father said, he turned towards you tears in his eyes. You felt yourself tear up too.

"Thank you papa." You choked out. You two had a good cry after that, then you were finally able to move your things into the apartment your father got for you. He said he didn't want you worrying too much for renting and that he'd cover all those expenses for you as long as you were smart about everything else. He said he wouldn't worry too much about where he lived and you believed him. He was always smart with money and you knew he saved up so much money for you to be able to have a good life, especially after your mom passed away. You sighed, you missed her so much. You couldn't remember a lot of your mother, but your father was so in love with her and he was heartbroken when she passed away only bringing himself together for you to have a good life. You'd always be grateful for him. You looked at your apartment, finally furnished and looked proud. You moved out of your childhood home and into your own apartment (even if your dad was paying for it, he told you to be proud of it anyways because you still moved out and you had great grades. "You deserve it!" he said). 'I could definitely get used to this' you thought, falling into the couch and staring at the ceiling, feeling your body start to relax and your eyes began to droop. You passed out without a second thought. 

"Stanley!" You shouted, running through the village, a boy clutching your hand. He was laughing and pulling you the open meadow just outside of the area. 

"Y/n, I have to tell you something!" He yelled excitedly.

"Okay! Tell me then!" You giggled, looking at him.

"Mother and father said they'd talk to your father about me marrying you!" He yelled out, falling onto the ground, smiling up at you. You felt yourself smile back, dropping next to him. "We have to collect flowers! So you can hold them for the wedding y/n!" He said, looking over at you, adoration in his eyes. He always looked like this towards you, ever since you could walk he'd be doting over you and when you started talking it was even more so. You'd met him when you were just a babe, he was 5 years older than you but he was smitten when he'd laid eyes on you for the first time proclaiming he would marry you when the time was right. You never minded, Stanley was the sweetest boy you had ever met in your life. It wasn't like the other village boys had a chance to have your hand in the first place. 

"Okay, Stanley." You laughed out, you were happy. Laying out in a field, laughing with your best friend, what a wonderful life. 

You woke up, suddenly and shaking. You forgot to eat and your body had quite literally told you to get the fuck up. You carefully stood up and looked at your phone, 10pm. Youd eaten very little throughout the day, and now you were starving. Thank god there was a pizza place just down the block. You left without even a passing thought of the dream youd just had. 

Richard was tired, Stan was brooding too much for his tastes. Getting too pissed off and getting too ready to beat the shit out of him. He'd already had a black eye, he didn't want two. Leaving to get food was the best thing to do for all of them. There were many things he missed as the years passed by, but the suffering wasn't one of them! God the things humanity came up with! Pizza was one of his favorites that they came up with. 'Took fuckin forever for them to make it though' he angrily thought as he walked into the building 'Slice of Heaven Pizzeria'. He suddenly smelled something delicious, and it wasn't the pizza. He looked around the brightly lit area, his eyes falling on the frame of a cute girl. He could see you debating on what you actually wanted in the place and to be fair he felt the same, he liked changing it up sometimes and they put together new things all the time. But jesus, you smelled like heaven. He could practically hear the blood pumping through your veins despite him not being a fledgling anymore. He felt his fangs coming out and he felt himself hold back, something he hadn't done in centuries, since he was a fucking fledgling. You were dangerous, he could feel himself smirk. A challenge he could do for himself to prove he wasn't someone who'd just attack whoever smelled good. And damn, you smelled good. "Wow toots, you're gorgeous." He said, smiling at you as you looked at him startled. You scowled.

"Ugh, dont call me that you fuckin creep." You said, surprising yourself. You never swore at new people, especially fucking guys. He laughed.

"Alright, alright I'll admit that probably sounded fucking creepy. But like the complement was genuine." He said, he looked more sincere this time around, so you let it slide. 

"Dont be a fuckin weirdo. Girls don't like that shit. Just compliment them like a normal person." God he liked you. You were feisty.

"I'm Richie, sorry I was being creepy. Im just naturally calling people that ya know?" He said, holding his hand out to you. 

"Y/n." You said, shaking his hand. "And yeah, I get it." You replied. You probably just made a new friend, you thought smiling to yourself. Seeing Richie trip over nothing walking to the counter made you think it was a dumbass friend though. 

Two weeks later you found yourself thinking the same thing. Richie really was a giant dumbass, but he was a funny dumbass. 

"I can't believe you did that!" You yelled at him.

"You should have seen his face! He was so shocked!" He laughed out, this was a great idea, it want nearly as hard as it was the first time he'd seen you to deal with your scent. 

"Oh fuck! I completely forgot, Rich." You got serious but you had I light in your eye that he liked. "I was formally invited to a Halloween party and I would like to add you as my plus one for Saturday night." You said, in an exaggerated British accent you loved mocking him for. "You can even bring your friends, I'm sure you have more than me ya know." You finish, back the laughing mess you were before you asked him anything.

"Aw shit doll, on such short notice? Whatever will I do for a costume?" He asked, mockingly and happily. You were a great friend, he hoped the others liked you too since you wanted to meet them so bad. Unfortunately Richie did what he usually did. He fucking forgot to tell them how he reacted when he first met you.

——

A/N: Wow two whole parts out. I hope everyone enjoys, and please send whatever criticism you have or whatever you predict, who knows I might take it into consideration 😉 Thanks for reading!

[chickennoodlesoupfortae]

BTS imagine

A/N- I promise I’ll do a fluff piece soon but for now enjoy this angst with a fluffy ending. 

Summary- their reaction to you walking out during a fight, more of a slice of life 

Word count- 3.1k

Warnings- mild cursing otherwise none

Jin

“I don’t want to clean right now, I’m so tired, please. can’t you just do something?” you whined in protest to Jin’s request to help him clean the house

“Ugh, why are you this way?” he groaned in response

“What way, I just want to rest.” you snapped back.

“What do you even have to rest from?” he mumbled

“Huh, say it louder.” you instigated

“You never do anything,” he exclaimed

“So, I just go to work and sit around doing nothing?” he continued looking for the broom

“I don’t just sing and dance around like you.” he looked up triggered by your statement

“My dancing around pays for this house.” your eyes widened in anger

“Bullshit! I pay for this house with you.” you were now screaming across the living room

“Sure, I’m the bad guy who you live off of!” he screamed back.

“That’s a lie.” you threw back at him

“Cause you love to use my card when you go shopping!” he was now pulling all the stops

“We have a shared bank account that’s our card. Are you stupid?” you scoffed

“One of us is putting in more than the other and taking out less.” he regretted saying it when he saw your face turn from angry too over it

“Then one of us is gonna leave the other,” you said nonchalant showing you were over all of this.

He ran across the living room to stand in front of the door

“Stop baby, you can’t just leave.” he looked down at you blocking the exit

“Get out of my way seokjin.” you pushed him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.” he grabbed both your hands pressing them against his chest.

“Ugh let go. You're just saying that so I won’t go.” he looked at you with puppy eyes “Stop that, you can’t be fighting me one minute and fine the next.”

“You were fighting me too.” you sighed at his response pulling your hands out of his

“No. You were the one who took it to another level cause I suggested you should clean. You’re such a dick” you started pushing him out of the way.

“You’re right, it was a dick move” he sighed getting out of the way

You stopped in your tracks at his sudden change in attitude

He let out a soft smile

“I hate you, you know.” you turned around and sat down on the couch

“This is dumb, I’ll just find us a maid,” he said sitting down next to you

“That’s the type of thinking we need in this house” you rested your head on his shoulder

Yoongi

“You need to stop overworking yourself!” you shouted

“I can’t (y/n) you know that I know that. We’ve known this” he turned his back to you

“Don’t you dare turn your back to me!” you shouted

“Calm down babe. You’re being too much,” he said still walking out of the bedroom forcing you to stand up from the bed

“You just got home two hours ago.” you rushed to grab his hand and force him to look at you.

“I need to go finish up a track let go.” he pulled his hand out of your own

“It’s three am, you can do it in the morning,” you told him

“It’ll take only a couple hours and then I’ll come back,” he said looking for his keys “Oh my gosh where are my keys!”

“I have work and I won’t be able to see you.” he continued looking for his keys ignoring you. “You need to stay here a while at least the night. You’re never home anymore. It’s like you don’t even live here. I’m all alone all the time.”

“I’m never here but I still seem to hear your shit (y/n)” he said finally finding his keys.

“Fine then be alone.” you grabbed your keys and left.

He groaned in annoyance seeing your car pull out through the window “why is she this way?” he asked himself as he opened the door heading to his car.

You weren’t sure where to go thinking he would’ve stopped you but yoongi wasn’t that way and you should’ve known he’d let you leave

“Why is he this way?” you screamed at the top of your lungs and making your fourth right turn at the last minute

He started driving to the studio when he noticed your car make another right

“Where is she going?” he decided to follow you at least till he could think of where it maybe you were going.

After four more rights, he realized you were making a circle and turned on the high beam to get your attention.

You pulled  over recognizing the car after the headlights flashed into your car

Soon there was a light tap on the passenger side seat and you unlocked the car letting him slip into the car and take a seat

“Go home honey,” he said in a stern yet apologetic tone he had mastered after using it at excess

You continued looking forward “I just want the best for you.” you looked over at him

“I know and I’ll tell them today and request for a break and spend the next two weeks with you. Todays just not a good day to throw in the towel.”

“You know best. Just remember I will love you as long as I can so don’t kill yourself over an album.”

He left the car after kissing you and went to work finishing the take and then proclaiming he was going on an indefinite break for his health

Hoseok

(does he have to go this hard? I mean I’m dead already.)

“Why don’t you want to tell people about us hobi?”

It was the fourth time that month that you had to use the backdoor at a shop to avoid being seen with him

At first, you hadn’t been mad at the fact he wanted to keep things private

But it had been a little over a year now of hiding your relationship and it wasn’t cool or exciting anymore.

It was hurtful for you to have to be hidden and hide the person you loved around almost everyone

“Why is it such a problem now (y/n)? You’re overblowing this.”

“It’s been a year and we’re still hiding our relationship from the world.” you raised your voice

“You’re being too much you know it’s complicated.” he rolled his eyes turning on the television

“Really? Because all I know is that my boyfriend of over a year is not telling people were together but instead is fine posting pictures with,” you pulled out your phone opening up the twitter app and typing in hashtags. “Let us see jane doe 1, which she’s pretty what’s her name, oh it’s ‘ilovehobi4’. Maybe if I change my username to ‘i-fuck-hoseok-but-he-wont-let-us-be-seen-together-like-im-a-whore3’ I can get a photo up with you in it”  you said in one breath

He laughed and shook his head

“I’m not kidding. I shouldn’t have too strong-arm you into telling people were together.” you stayed quiet for a moment, hoping he would say something but he continued watching the drama that was on

“Fine then.” you stood up and went to the bedroom

Half an hour later and with three bags packed you walked out

“I’ve tried with you hoseok.” he looked up at the use of his real name quickly noticing your bags

“Oh my gosh (y/n) you have to be kidding me-it's ten pm are we doing this now?” he looked more bothered than concerned

“I’ve been understanding but if you don’t go public I can’t anymore. No one can handle being treated like a dirty secret and I’m no exception.”

He let you walk out thinking you’d come back in ten minutes tops

He falls asleep on the couch waiting for you and when he wakes up he calls his managers right away

“Look I don’t care how they react I just wanted to tell you guys first”

He looks through his camera roll and finds a beautiful photo of the both of you sitting on stage in an empty arena

You opened your phone and saw a text saying sorry with a picture of the tweet

You smiled as you read the caption ‘Tbt to when I and my beautiful sweetheart (y/n) almost got sunburned in Los Angeles’

You drove home

Namjoon

 “Get off your phone babe.”

You were out eating dinner with him but it was more like eating alone being that he was on his phone emailing and completely ignoring you

It wasn’t the first time this had happened

It was probably the tenth time this month you had eaten in silence

“Joon baby are you there?” you asked growing irritated with him

“What (y/n)?” he said sounding annoyed with you

“Nothing it’s just were out eating and you haven’t even said more than a ‘yes’ and ‘no’ and both were said to the waiter.”

“I have important things to do. Please just let me get them done.” he looked back down as you sighed

You sat there for ten more minutes just picking at your food

You stood up and left the table

“Okay! I’m done now.” he looked up noticing you weren’t there anymore “Fuck.” he muttered noticing your bag was gone too.

“Can I get the check to please?”

When he got home he noticed that a bag was missing and some of your clothes

He saw you in the bathroom throwing in some of your make-up into the bag you had packed

“Baby what are you doing? you gave me a heart attack.”

“I’m leaving Namjoon. What does it look like?” you scoffed

“Why?”

“You never give me any of your time and I’m sick of it.” you pushed past him trying to look for anything else you might need

“Come on don’t be this way. Work is so busy now and it’s really important, you know this.”

You looked up at him “If it’s more important than I’ll go”

“Don’t make me choose.” he pleaded

“I won’t. I’ll take the option away”

You left and didn’t hear from him for two days

You were sleeping at a friend’s house when you hear a song start blasting

“Ugh they need to turn it down I’m trying to have a sad nap” you cried into the pillow you were using

Then you realized what song it was “no it can’t be,” you walked to the window of the small townhouse hearing the song you and Joon had first danced to blast “that shit head,” you said to yourself as you saw your boyfriend on the street

You walked outside in you pyjamas even though it was the afternoon

“Turn it down Joon, this is a nice neighbourhood,” you shouted over the music

“Not until you agree to come home,” he shouted back turning it down a bit so you could talk

You shook your head and turned to go back to the house

“I’m sorry, honey it’s you. I’ll try to be better. I love you more than anything.”

Jimin

“You know it’s not that simple.”

You were ignoring Jimin and trying to shut down the conversation

“Then tell me how it’s complicated so I can understand and help,” he replied

“I don’t want to.” you walked out of the bedroom standing up from bed for the first time that day

“I’m worried about you (y/n). You don’t seem ok. It’s five and you’re still in bed.” he followed you out

“Nothing's the matter,” you assured him

“I know you’re lying.” he followed you like a puppy around the house

“Stop Jimin leave me alone,” you said turning around to face him

“I’m just worried,” he whined

“I’m fine, I just had off for the first time in a while and I wanted to rest.” you tried to shut him down

“Well you shouldn’t just lay in bed all day.” his tone changed slightly into his judgemental one

“Well I think I had a great time so leave me alone.” you snapped back admittedly a little meaner than intended  

“You’re always saying for me to leave you alone when I’m your boyfriend who you live with and supposedly love,” he complained from the couch where he had found refuge in one room away

“You're so whiney.” you clapped back

“That’s not even a word.” he laughed

“You know what I’m saying.”

“You’re so backwards. What am I supposed to do when I find my girlfriend sleeping in bed in the same clothes as ten hours later.”

“This is why I like living alone.” you lied

“You’re welcome to go.” he lied

“Fine then.” you were joking trying to get a reaction when you started packing a bag and then before you know it you were walking out of the room and to the door

“Come on (y/n) let’s watch the movie we’ve been meaning to watch.” he looked up not realizing what you had done “Shit, what are you doing?” he laughed standing up

“I’m leaving,” you stated

“Come on baby calm down, I was joking.” he grabbed your bags

“Stop that,” you shouted

“Don’t do this.” he pleaded to realize you weren’t joking

You hadn’t intended to leave but his reaction and taking that choice away made you want to in spite

“I’ll do as I please.” you grabbed the bags back

“Come on baby, why are you leaving?” he asked trying to understand

“Because you told me too. I want someone who wants me,” you stated

“(y/n) are you kidding?” he laughed

“This isn’t some joke,” you shouted angered by his laughs

You started to smile a little falling victim to his demeanour

“No, no.” he collected himself. “I know this isn’t a joke.” he took your bags out of your hands and threw them onto the couch

“It’s just I care too much and you yell at me and then I back off and you yell at me.” he smiled

“I’m sorry.” you sighed out realizing what you had done

“Sorry, too I need to find the right balance.”

You both sat down on the couch and started the movie

Taehyung

( i had to do it to em)

“I’m leaving.”

You couldn’t remember why the two of you had started fighting and it was becoming unbearable

He rushed over to the door

“I swear on the lord that isn’t above Kim Taehyung if you don-” you were interrupted by him pressing you against his chest in an embrace shocked by the show of affection

“Come on, we can talk this out,” he whispered

“I don’t even know what we have to talk out anymore.” you sighed letting yourself relax into his arms

“I know, me either.” he sighed back

“Can we just forget this happened and go back to normal, I’m tired of all this endless bickering. It makes it hard to live here.” you let yourself breath “I don’t ever wanna go and I also can’t stay if we continue down this pat-”

“We won’t,” he reassured you still hugging you tightly

“Can we just go to bed in the same bed again?” you looked up

“We can do whatever you want.”

Jungkook

“What is this?”

You were holding your phone in the air while shouting across the office in your home

“What?” he shouted back

“This.” you were showing him a picture of leaked tour dates

“Oh,” he  looked down “Oh no,” he said a little more aggravated as he realized what they were

“Were you gonna tell me when they dropped or when you were on the plane?” you asked him your voice still a couple of octaves higher than normal

“Shish (Y/n) calm down,” he said going back to his work on the computer

“What do you mean calm down this is at least two more months.” you weren’t mad anymore but the reality hit you “You jus-,” your voice cracked “ just got back.”

You walked out of the office and into the kitchen pouring yourself a cup of water

“It’ll be fine. I’ve been away for longer.” he broke the silence while searching for snacks

“I don’t know,” you chugged some water

“What don’t you know?” he asked with no empathy

“I just can’t do this anymore.” you walked out of the kitchen and then the house with only your cards and phone

“What do you mean babe?” he walked out of the kitchen and realized you weren’t there

“(y/n) where are you?” he called out into the empty house

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!” he screamed running to the window to see if your car was there

“What do I do?” you asked yourself driving down the highway

Suddenly you started sobbing and got the nearest exit

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!” you screamed pulled over in a back street

“What do I do” you cried

“I don’t know?” Jungkook pleaded into his phone

“I don’t know what to tell you man.” Namjoon sighed on the other end

“She just, she said she couldn’t do it.” he sobbed into his phone

“Calm down. It’ll be ok. Go after her call her and if she doesn’t pick up, call her friend or her mom or someone who would know.”

“Ok. That sounds like a step in the right direction.”

You were still crying in your car when your phone went off

You sobbed a little harder when you saw the caller id

“He doesn’t even care. It took him an hour to notice I was gone.” you cried

Ten rings later and you picked up your phone

“What Jungkook it’s not a good time.” you tried to compose yourself but your voice was hoarse

“  Baby, Thank you for picking up” he was sobbing “I was so worried.”

“Why are you sad? I’m the one being left behind.” you choked out

“Because I love you (y/n)” he responded, “I love you so much and I don’t know how to fix this but it doesn’t matter because if you’re gone there's no one to fix it for.”

“I don’t know if it can be.” you sobbed

“Just come home so we  can figure it out together.”

There was a long silence

“Ok,” you whispered turning the car back on

You drove home with him on the line and in silence both scared at how this would end and  whether you’d both make it to the other side

[mrschangrettawrites]

Acquisitions

Summary: Every person has their purpose, and yours has just come up.

Pairing: Luca Changretta x Reader

Words: 1692

Notes: FINALLY AN UPDATE AFTER SIX MONTHS FDKNGKDOFNGDKFNGOD god im so sorry it has taken this long to update but i've gotten a job since starting this fic and it's consumed much of my time, then the holidays were upon us and, well, yall know how it goes. but i got hit with inspo during my shift today so here it is! the long awaited fourth chapter! hopefully future updates wont be as delayed but who knows lmao. anyways thanks for waiting! minor tw for violence. Spoilers for season four, but it is v canon divergent so not really very many, reader is a WOC. I highly highly highly recommend installing the InteractiveFics extension from the Chrome store if you can. To add your name and last name simply install the extension, then click ‘Need to replace something other than Y/N?’ and in the value bar put Name and put your name in the Replace With bar, then click change! And be sure to tick Store this replacement so that you don’t have to do it every time.

Tagging: @kittiofdoom @justanothergal22 @sophspark @blinder-secrets @ree-duh @kamala-khaan if you would like to be tagged just lmk!

Just as the tension was getting to be almost too overwhelming, a waiter arrived with two menus, and you had never been so relieved to be served in your life.

“Thank you.” You said, smiling brightly as you took one and did your best to hide behind it under the guise of reading the dishes on offer. Thankfully there were pork free dishes on offer, which made you remember that you were going to have to educate Luca on Islam and it’s rules. Then you wondered if he would be as open and kind about there being another religion in his home as your father had been prior to his reversion. You guessed that Luca was Catholic, and while there were similarities between Catholicism and Islam, there were far more glaring differences.

“When we have our wedding,” you began hesitantly, “will it be in a church?”

“If I know my mother as well as I think I do, I doubt we’ll have a choice.” Luca joked. “Why?”

“Just checking!” You said quickly, going back to the menu. Even though there had not been a masjid in Small Heath, you had always dreamed of getting married in one. Your parents had to go all the way to London, so you figured that you would be able to do the same. Would New York have masjids? Would it have Muslims? Would it have Turkish Muslims?

“What's New York like?”

Luca paused, setting his menu down. “Well, for one, it’s a lot bigger than Small Heath.”

That made you smile. “I thought as much.”

“I don’t know, it’s just...hard to describe.” Luca drummed his fingers on the table, making your gaze flit down to his hand, and watch how elegantly it moved. “It’s full of life.” He said finally, his hand still again. “Everywhere you go there’s at least twelve dozen people around you, even at night it’s busy. Makes Small Heath look pretty sleepy in comparison.”

Your heart hammered in your chest as you considered this. Your mind ran wild with images of towering spires, roads that went on for kilometers, people dressed in all manner of ways. Your life had been a sheltered one, but that was all about to change.

A waiter soon arrived, asking for your orders.

“I’ll have the chicken Alfredo.” Luca said. He and the waiter both looked over at you, waiting for your order.

You began to panic as you had become too wrapped up in your thoughts to think of an order. “Oh um, make it two!” You said, inwardly wincing at how your voice raised at the end.

But the waiter made no indication of noticing, merely made a note of the orders and said that the kitchen would get right to it.

You looked back down at your teacup, eyes traveling over the lines, both dark and faint, trying to figure out what they were trying to tell you, if anything.

“Have you had much Italian food?” Luca asked, and you were grateful for the distraction.

“Not really.” You said. “Just Turkish and English food.”

“Well I can’t speak on Turkish food, but English stuff sucks.” Luca said bluntly.

A giggle slipped from you. “It can be pretty bland.” You agreed. “I mean, the English have an empire that spans the entire globe, with colonies that have incredible spices, but they never use them in cooking for some reason.” That would never cease to bamboozle you.

Luca grinned and chuckled. “I know Matteo can’t wait to be back in New York with proper food.”

You furrowed your brow. “Which one is he?”

Luca raised a brow, but pointed at a booth just a few meters away, where you recognised two of Luca’s men. “The one of the left is Matteo, and the other is Frederico.” He explained. “Matteo can be a little hot headed, but he’s loyal. Frederico is more quiet.” His gaze went back to you. “And they will both protect you.”

While the notion of being protected and watched by gangster was far from a new one, the gangsters in question were usually men you knew well. You glanced at them nervously. “So, they’re ok with this whole marriage thing.”

“That’s irrelevant.” Luca said dismissively. “They’re soldiers, and they’ll do what they’re told.”

You knew that was meant to put you at ease, but it didn’t work. They had orders yes, but orders have been ignored before. And you couldn’t help but wonder how they really felt about their leader marrying some girl from England, who belonged to a family that not a week ago they were planning to kill. You fisted the fabric of your dress that rested on your lap.

“W-Why me?” You asked quietly. You had managed to keep the question away from the front of your mind so far, but you needed to know. “Why would you choose me? If you were going to marry anyone, Ada would’ve been the smart choice. She’s Tommy’s sister, and she already has a son, she knows how to…” You trailed off, face burning. “Well, you know.” You cleared your throat. “Why are you marrying me?”

Luca was silent, his unreadable, impassive gaze slowly going over you. It made the hairs all over your body stand up, in fact your surprised that the hair on your head hadn’t all magically sprung to life. “I wanted to repay a debt.”

You furrowed your brow. “Debt? What debt? You don’t owe me anything.”

“It isn’t my debt.” Luca clarified. “It’s my mother’s.”

“Your...mother?”

He nodded. “She hasn’t forgotten, how you got her out of Small Heath.”

Oh. You looked back down, face flushing again. “I didn’t help your mum to have her in my debt.” You said, horrified that that’s what they, the Changretta’s and their people, all thought.

“I know.” Luca sounded calm, patient. “My mother said you weren’t that type. But you still got her out of Thomas’s path, and because of you she’s alive. I’m just repaying you. Now we’re even.”

You nodded, slowly, still not sure what to make of this reason, if it was in fact the truth.

If you were completely truthful, you hadn’t been thinking at all when you had gone to help Audrey Changretta. You just knew that her husband was dead, after hours of torture, and you knew that Tommy wouldn’t have thought twice to go after her. You still remembered that day, as if it had just happened.

While the early morning fog had still clung to your ankles, you raced to her home, heart hammering. You were terrified that you were too late or that she wasn’t home, but she was there, tired and a little disheveled, but there.

“You have to leave.” You had blurted out. “I’m so sorry. Tommy’s killed your husband and you have to go I’m so sorry I really am but you need to go please, please just go!”

It had taken you a few minutes to calm down and fully explain everything, but once you had, Mrs Changretta did as you asked. You even helped her pack, and kept an eye out for any Blinders. You went with her to the train station, all the while telling her how sorry you were. You were almost hysterical, and in tears by the time her train arrived. You thought that would be the last time you ever saw a Changretta.

When Tommy heard that Mrs Changretta was gone, he was livid. You had walked in on him yelling at John and Arthur, demanding that they go out and find her, leave no stone unturned, no person unquestioned. He was going to have his pound of flesh, one way or another.

“She’s gone.” Once again your mouth had moved faster than your brain could think, and you stared, wide eyed, as the three brothers and Polly all looked at you in shock.

“She’s what.” Tommy’s tone had been dripping with venom, and it sent a chill all through you.

“I’m sorry Tommy but I-I helped her leave.” You wilted a little, hunched over, equal parts ashamed and scared. “She didn’t do anything Tommy! She-”

You were cut off by the feel of skin colliding harshly against your cheek, sending you to the ground.

In a daze you looked up, to see Tommy being restrained by Arthur and John, while Polly screamed at him.

“YOU DON’T RAISE A HAND TO FAMILY LIKE THAT THOMAS!” You had never seen your aunt so furious, and it had only made your state worse.

“DON’T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!” Thomas roared, eyes alight with rage. “YOU BETRAY THIS FAMILY AGAIN AND YOU’RE OUT!”

You began to cry. “I-I’m sorry Tommy! I’m sorry!” You wept and begged for forgiveness, but that had only angered Tommy further.

“Should ship you to fucking Istanbul!” He snarled. He paused when a child’s cries began to echo in the house, making him look at the ceiling. “And you fucking woke up Charlie!” Tommy managed to shake off his two brothers, and he glared down at you before getting out a cigarette. “I mean it.” He said, in his low, quiet, dangerous voice. “If you ever pull that shit again, I’ll put you in a fucking crate myself.”

Even after Polly got you out of the house you were sobbing, still saying how sorry you were.

“Don’t be sorry sweetheart.” Polly had said gently. “You did a good thing.”

‘Did I?’

“How is your mother?” You asked, trying to ignore the memory of the stinging pain from Tommy’s slap.

“She’s alive, which is what matters.” Luca smiled gently. “Thank you. I mean that. My mother is all I have left now.”

You nodded, swallowing thickly. “I would do it again.” You said, only realizing how true it was once all the words had left your mouth.

“Two chicken Alfredos.” The waiter had reappeared, carrying the dishes on a silver platter and laying them out in front of the both of you.

“Grazie.”

“Thank you so much.”

The waiter nodded before moving onto another table.

“Still can’t believe you people don’t tip.” Luca said, sounding genuinely mistified.

“What’s a tip?”

[thehonestmommy]

What I wish people told me about postpartum life

There is a TON of advise and guidance on what to expect when you are pregnant. Theres even more about how to handle every little cough, hiccup, and milestone that your baby goes through. But theres something in between thats severly lacking in conversation and warning. Postpartum life. Im not talking about how tired you will be or how your house will turn into a toy store. I mean the little things that will likely take you by surprise unless a well meaning friend shares it with you. Because for some reason, we as a society dont talk about the post partum mom, except for breasfeeding, baby weight, and stretch marks. But let me tell you, there is a whole lot more than that.

Well, as the over-sharer that I am, allow me to prepare you for the things that never get spoken about, and might surprise you about life after pregnancy. Here are some of the things I had to learn on my own, and that I wish someone told me about so I was more prepared.

WARNING: I’m gonna get personal and gross right from the get-go. Buckle up.

You will sweat…profusely

Seriously. My first night after giving birth, I was so sweaty. But I passed it off as just part of recovery. I mean, I did just spend 3 days pushing a human out of my body, I’m understandably sweaty. But then the next night, same thing. And the following night, too. For weeks and weeks it continued. I would wake up at night to feed my baby and be soaked, almost like I had the flu! I felt disgusting, and was constantly changing clothes. But the more I questioned other moms (online and in mom groups) the more I realized we all were experiencing this to some degree….we just wen’t talking about it. I mean, sure. It’s a bit embarrassing, especially if you aren’t a person who sweats very much under normal circumstances. But it woulda saved us all a lot of embarrassment if it was something we were told was par for the course! No need to worry, soggy momma. You are normal.

You will smell

This goes hand in hand with being sweaty. But it’s so much more than that. I was constantly getting whiffs of my own body odour…and boy was it bad. And it wasn’t the typical B.O. smell I’d get if I’d done some cardio and wasn’t able to shower straight away. This was a whole other beast. I kept trying to compensate for smelling horrible by saying it out loud and apologizing. But my mom and my husband kept reassuring me that they couldn’t smell a thing. But how couldn’t they?! I was so rank. Im telling you, it was so bad that I would shower, and sniff my pitts after soaping up while SILL IN THE SHOWER and I could still smell myself. Seriously. No amount of soap or scrubbing was making this go away.

But heres the thing. No one around me could smell it (or at least they wouldn’t tell me so) except my baby. You see, this is a special function of a breastfeeding mom. You take on a unique signature scent that helps your young baby identify you. And as they grow and their senses develop, the stench (or strength of it) fades away.

If i had known this before it happened, maybe I wouldn’t have cried in the shower after scrubbing my armpits raw.

Postpartum insomnia is a thing

We all know that new parents have a hard time sleeping. But I always thought it was because

A) The baby keeps you awake with its very loud singing, practicing for auditions on The Voice, B) The baby being asleep makes you freak out that its too still to be breathing , or C) You cant stop watching this adorable little chubby mini-me peacefully sleeping

So, it really surprised me when my baby started sleeping through the night, but I did not. I didn’t feel anxious. I wasn’t plagued of thoughts about my baby’s safety. And even though I loved watching him sleep, I was cool with rolling over and enjoying my much needed rest. But, no matter how tired I was, the sleep wouldn’t come. I would lay awake, utterly exhausted. I would just nodd off and the baby would wake. Every 5 nights or so, I would sleep. Yes, you read that right. I would only sleep after about 4 full sleepless nights. Those 4 to 5 days were torturous cat naps only. After about a month of this, I went to my Dr because I thought something was seriously wrong. She knowingly chuckled when I explained what was going on. “Postpartum insomnia” she said. Apparently, it’s a hormone thing. Not every woman experiences it, but it’s not uncommon. “it will go away when you are done breastfeeding, most likely.” Oh. My. God. Are you kidding me? My kid is finally sleeping for more than 30 minutes at a time, and now I cant, and wont, until i’m done breastfeeding? (I plan to breastfeed for at least a year) Mother nature, your jokes aren’t that funny.

Carpal tunnel syndrome

Exactly the same as postpartum insomnia, some women get carpal tunnel that wont go away till breastfeeding is over. Its not unusual for women to get it while they are pregnant, but even if you didn’t have it then, you could still get it once your baby has left the flesh-building. According to my doc, hormones mixed with weight-bearing hand positions (breastfeeding again, yay!) is the perfect recipe for some inflammation of the nerves in your forearms and hands. My hands didn’t hurt much during the day but at night they would drive me crazy. Think pins and needles to the nth degree. That shit is going to keep you awake #postpartuminsomnia

Breastfeeding + binge eating

breastfeeding burns a LOT of calories. You think you were eating for two while you were pregnant? Thats not nothing on breastfeeding. That baby keps getting bigger and hungrier. Get ready to smash some food.

Breastfeeding + thirst

Breastmilk is surprisingly watery. Baby drinks breast milk, your fluids deplete, the body needs more to make more milk. The process is not surprising. What might surprise you is that you get thirsty IMMEDIATELY after your baby has triggered the let-down (aka within minutes of him/her latching on) Keep a bottle of water handy for every nursing session. You are gonna need it.

Period pains

I think its fairly well established in the way we discuss postpartum that your period may not come back for a while. But what they DON’T tell you, is that you will still get similar pains fairly often. In the beginning, your uterus needs to go back to its regular size, so cramping/contractions will take place for a few weeks after giving birth to contract that uterus back to its old self. Thats right. You will still have contractions for WEEKS. Yay!

If you are breastfeeding, the cramping will happen DURING nursing. Its kinda cool, although pretty uncomfortable. You might notice the postpartum bloat go down in unison with those sessions of cramping. its different for all women, but for me, that intense cramping only lasted about 3-4 weeks. But here’s where people stop talking about it. But guess what? you will still get cramps! Pretty much once a month, I get a day of mild cramping. Its nothing like what it used to be (although my experience may be biased since I’m an endometriosis gal) but it’s still noticeable, and identifiable.

You are still ovulating

Carrying right on from getting those period cramps comes the obvious but often misunderstood fact that you are still ovulating. Many people are lead to believe that if they are breastfeeding and did not get their periods back yet, that they can not get pregnant. This is FALSE INFORMATION #fakenews So many woman end up pregnant again because they are not practicing safe sex under the assumption that no period means no ovulation. Sorry to say, your body goes right back on makin’ them eggs. Life, uh…finds a way #jurassicpark

Hormone imbalances continue (acne, sweats, cravings, mood swings)

Again, no secret to anyone that pregnant women are on a rollercoaster ride of hormones that are challenging at best, and downright unfair at worst. But whats most unfair is that you dont get to just be done with all that after your sweet little bundle arrives. Oh no. no no no. The rollercoaster gets more intense, if you can believe it.

Many people will be familiar with the term Post Partum Depression, which is common and no joke. If you suspect that you or someone you care about might be suffering from PPD, please access help. Start by talking to a doctor. There is LOTS of help available.

But, outside of PPD, it seems a disservice to me that no one explains that mood swings, food cravings, exhaustion, acne, hair loss/hair gain, sweating and the like are almost guaranteed to happen. I don’t mind speaking out about PPD and saying that I suffered, and I still do suffer from regressive episodes from time to time. But for a while, I wondered if all my other symptoms were PPD. My amazing midwife explained that those things are not indicative of PPD but a normal part of your body settling into its new role as a food truck (breastfeeding, again! argh!)

So if you are experiencing things that make you feel like a teenager again, you are not alone. It’s par for the course. But please talk to a Dr to get screened for post partum depression just to be sure.

leaking breasts

So I heard of this before. But I seriously was not prepared. I thought it was a unicorn thing that only happened to the rare woman who’s a breastmilk goddess with an oversupply. So i’m going to do you ladies a service and let you know the real deal here. Even if you think this wont happen to you, it probably might.

You don’t need to have an oversupply, your baby doesn’t need to suddenly sleep through the night. (although both of those things make it even more likely) Your breasts will spontaneously leak; maybe when your baby sleeps through the night the first time and your supply was hoping for a night feed. Maybe when your baby cries because it’s hungry and you don’t immediately get to them. Maybe when a srangers’ baby cries because it’s hungry. Maybe when you are looking at them on the baby monitor or watching them do something especially cute. Or maybe when you are having an intimate moment with your partner (YUP). MAKE PEACE WITH THIS. It will happen, and continue to happen, when you least expect it. You’r boobs now have a mind of their own.

Oh and just when you think that phase is over, it will happen again. #oops

Speedy hair and nail growth

This may be a pleasant surpriuse to some (or a major inconvenience depending on your maintenance level). Your hair and nail growth might speed up. Not sure why that one happens, but wow I feel like i cut my nails every week now. And I am getting 2x more haircuts, too.

Another common thing that happens is the texture of your hair changing. Many women go from luscious curls to straight locks or vice versa after pregnancy. Your body grew, sustained, and continues to sustain life. Those are MAJOR changes, so… Anything is possible!

Dry vaj (masquerading as injuries)

Oh yes. Im going there. If you made it this far, lets just assume you’re cool with how gross I can be at times. okay? Great. :) OKay, You are a mom. You might have pushed at baby out of your body. Or maybe you had someone surgically remove it. In both cases, your muscle structure gets significantly compromised. Under good health care, we are told to limit our activity for 6 weeks while the body heals. I dont know a single mom, c-section or vaginal delivery, who felt like their body was actually ready to get back in the game. It takes MONTHS to heal, and my midwife (did I mention shes awesome?) laid it out for me honestly. She said things are not gonna feel anywhere near normal for the better part of a year. I’m currently 8.5 months postpartum, and yo she was right. My core is weak, my diastases is still present, and I was in some serious pelvic pain for a long while.

So, on the advise of many a Dr and friend, I decided to see a pelvic floor physiotherapist in hopes that she can help guide me into a life where it doesn’t feel like I’m going to lose my uterus every time i squat down.

It was an embarassing and humbling experience. This Dr literally tests out your muscle control from within. Its like the most revealing pap you’ve ever had. But seriously, it was worth it. What i learned was even though i was expierencing pain, my muscle structure was NOT compromised. Where did the pain com from you might ask? Dryness.

Yeah I know. It’s not ladylike to talk about that. No one wants to admit its an issue either. But remember how breastfeeding affects almost every topic covered above? Well this one too. Surprise! Your body’s natural fluids are depleted in a big way when your kid drinks sometimes 200ml 6-10 times a day. (Go measure that our if you’r not familiar with it. Its a lot.) If you are not super hydrated, and extremely well nourished, your body will totally ditch its other systems to provide for your child instead. Its admirable, but dang if your not careful it really translates in so some serious discomfort.

Turns out that some topical moisturizers (coconut oil did it for me, but some people need something more substantial with estrogen in it) and maintaining my body’s hydration brought me back to 80%. Couple that with learning how to do diaphragmatic breathing and activating your transverse abdominus during kegel exercises (okay can we just not cover that? I’ve said enough gross stuff) and you’re well on your way to recovery.

The takeaway

Growing and serving up a baby does a number on your body, but it continues after the birth. It takes work, healthy choices and a lot of knowledge to stay on top of whats happening to your body once your baby is here. Breastfeeding, no matter how long you decide to do it, is a lot harder than people give credit for. It goes far beyond latch and weight peoblems, and not enough people talk about that. Be prepared for your body to continue to go through changes as your baby changes with you. Be kind to yourself, eat well, drink as much water as you can every day, and TALK TO OTHER MOMS about what the heck is going on. You’ll be surprised to know you are not alone. <3

[beeyeah]

Jikook: Appeal to Logic

Title: Appeal to Logic

Summary: /Jikook/ Two-shot/ Canon/ Where Jimin tries to convince Yoongi why he was positive Jungkook likes him and Yoongi asks him, “What would you do with that information?”

Indeed, Jimin wonders what the point was to all this.

Notes: I wanted to post on Valentine’s but I guess my calendar is ten days late hhhhh Anyway, I lurk a lot in Jikook tags (like I’m here everyday) and I’ve read long discourses regarding the legitimacy of their relationship. I thought it’d be interesting if one of them begins to share his proofs too and joins the hot pot of convo his own way. TLDR; enter this fic lol I promise it won’t be 20 chapters this time. 

Chapter 1 under cut or you can read at Ao3

Chapter 1: Points Were Made

It was an on and off thing.

Like a passion project that you know you just would figure how to complete someday but needed time because life would get in the way.

Today though marked the moment Park Jimin was ready to lay out his cards and tell someone that definitely… maybe… with a little more sprinkle of confidence that --

“Hyung, I think Jungkook likes me.”

There was silence in Min Yoongi’s room when the statement was pronounced. It made Jimin squirm on his seat as he tried to understand the non-committal stare directed at him, right behind the bond paper that held Jimin’s scribbled notes for lyrics.

Ah, that was right.

His initial purpose was to hear Yoongi’s feedback on a thing he'd been working on. Somewhere along the way, his thoughts drifted to another which inevitably led to his bold declaration of Jungkook’s far from familial, alleged infatuation for him.

Yoongi reached out to his left where his mug of coffee sat.

“I don't know what you want me to say. Of course, Jungkook likes you.”

Jimin frowned, wrapping his head around how he should explain himself. “No, hyung. I mean Jungkook likes me.”

Yoongi’s mouth was slightly gaped and his eyes were blank. His hyung looked lost while he attempted to blink his confusion away.

Well, his observations go way way back, two years worth of evidence. Right in the hallway of their home, an evening in October.

“Jungkook treats me differently,” he told Yoongi, legs crossed and under him as he put up a finger and discussed his first point.

It wasn't as if it was only him who questioned it. Jungkook only gave Jimin a birthday present in the span of the past years, no one else and that got to mean something.

They were all tired from shoot that most of them were tempted not to shower. Hoseok was pushing him around and urging him to a quick bath before lying on his bed because that was what Hoseok was. He liked things clean and perfect and that same rule applied for his roommate. But then Jeon Jungkook, his beloved dongsaeng, appeared out of nowhere and blocked him from his merry way to the bathroom. A little awkwardly might he add because he stood there, hand fiddling with his fringes and eyes searching the floor in trepidation. At that point, both Jimin and Hoseok unlatched themselves from each other's grip to attend to the youngest who seemed to need some attention.

To his surprise, and perhaps his hyung’s too, Jungkook held out his hand and shoved Jimin a paper bag. Hoseok curiously peeked from his shoulder as Jimin tried to open it while muttering, “What's this?”

Jungkook answered with a shrug and he waited. He waited there and watched Jimin opened his present.

It wasn't even anything grand. In this stage of their career, they were just beginning to gain traction from their first win and as Namjoon had put it, at breakeven, to finally enjoy the fruits of their hard labor. Knowing how their earnings were distributed based on performance and royalty fees, Jimin was pretty sure Jungkook received the same profit he did. To be honest, it wasn't exactly much. The only difference was that Jimin was prone to lavish it on people while Jungkook would save it for practical and grander things.

The practical, grander things in Jungkook’s head was Jimin. Bought him a sweatshirt which costed around 44,000 krw. Jimin researched the price because he was curious how much the maknae was willing to spend on him.

No greeting cards. Not a high end brand. Just plain white paper bag from the department store where he bought his first gift for a Bangtan member.

Needless to say, Jimin was ecstatic and made sure to rub it on everyone's face.

“Jimin-ah,” Yoongi tried to interrupt him but he shushed the older with an afterthought.

“It wasn't the gift that's strange. Jungkook's face was really weird when I thanked him.”

Jimin knew Jungkook well enough to know when he was happy. Whatever gratefulness he saw on Jimin’s face translated on how satisfied Jungkook was on what he did. There was a sense of pride and innocent glee in Jungkook’s eyes similar to the way they would twinkle when he was offered cheesecake or lamb skewers. It was odd how he was comparing himself to food but Yoongi would probably understand the reference. He would bring Jungkook to lamb skewers so often that the maknae even vowed to stay with him forever if he would agree to become business partners.

That was beside the point.

Back then, Jimin thought he was onto something but the idea didn't linger because it was indeed a special occasion. Jungkook was a good dongsaeng and treated his hyung well even outside their birthdays so, on a second thought, it wasn't really much of an evidence.

The hand that held Jimin’s lyrics now dangled limply over the office chair’s armrest.

“Jimin-ah, just get to the point.”

Jimin pursed his lips. As far as he was concerned, he was straightforward from the get-go. He thought Jungkook likes him and he stated the fact right on, now presenting his evidence.

“Number two,” he said after lifting another finger. Perhaps Yoongi wanted him to speed things up and he should. He certainly didn't have all day with their comeback looming around the corner. “Jungkook thinks I'm beautiful.”

Yoongi’s confusion had more color to it this time. Beyond his blinking eyes that questioned where this conversation was headed, his brows met when he spoke, “Should this really be coming out of your own mouth?”

“It didn't come from me. Jungkook told me,” he replied, voice defensive.

“Jungkook thinks you're cute. But so do I. Might as well tell me that all members like you.”

“No,” Jimin answered, tucking his arm in and across his chest. His eyes narrowed, teeth worrying his lips, trying to recall the exact moment that prompted him to ask the youngest. “Ah, that's right,” he muttered when the epiphany came. He searched his pockets for his phone and scrolled through countless and countless of albums of selcas and videos of him with Bangtan.

It was somewhere in there.

“Hyung… this,” he finally said after almost five minutes of sifting through his files.

Yoongi’s back was facing him after he stopped talking to look for his proof. He really should've prepared it beforehand. Now his hyung seemed to have completely lost his interest. He was typically patient to listen, but Jimin interrupted him when he was in the midst of editing a melody submission.

Though Yoongi said it was fine. Jimin would be his breath of fresh air because the team would so rarely go out during crucial period right before their comeback. He knew better not to push the limit but it was tempting and he needed someone to listen to him.

He pulled the bean bag next to his hyung’s leg, lifted his phone so that Yoongi would be able to see what he was referencing to.

His hair was pink, the clip a mere six- seconder. He was staring at the camera, trying to appeal to ARMY. He needed it. There was this greedy part of him that wanted to know how they would react to his flirting. Tell people, ‘Hey, Jimin is right here and this is how he looks right now. His hair changed.’ That kind of drill right before their comeback and their response would in a way boost his confidence. A conscious tactic to keep his fans interested in him perhaps?

“What do you think?”

Yoongi made a face and pulled back to a cringe as he'd expected. Highly likely, he would've done the same thing if any other member showed him a video of themselves. So he merely nodded in agreement. Bangtan wasn't the audience for this video. ARMY was.

“Do you know how Jungkookie reacted when I showed this to him?”

Yoongi sighed. “Would I want to know?”

“He replayed it, hyung,” he said as a matter-of-factly. “He told me I should post it because our fans would love it. Which I did, if you remember.”

“I don't,” Yoongi admitted and turned his chair so that he was facing Jimin, a leg over the other while he waited for him to continue.

“I posted it on Twitter and do you know who posted afterwards?”

“Jungkook?”

It wasn't a wild guess.

“Yeah,” Jimin confirmed the obvious. “After 10 minutes, he posted something and you know what it said?”

No response.

“He posted a song.”

The title was right on the hashtag #ILYSB by Lany.

When it came to music that wasn't in their own language, Jimin would seldom take efforts to find translation. So long as he understood bits and pieces of what little English he knew, he could work around it. Namjoon said to be careful of listening to artists that might cause uproar by association, so he would still have to check it out if he'd want to share it with the fans. But for as much as he believed that lyricism was a key ingredient to any good music, Jimin preferred to feel rather than completely understand and analyze. That job was for their leader.

However, he decided that he wanted to fathom the youngest’s thoughts that night.

The noob part of him thought the title was some secret internet code popular in the west so he searched naver only to be greeted by a simple yet telling I love you so bad. His mouth formed an ‘oh’ when he realized that it might've been an intense confession. It invariably piqued his curious mind so that later he would be listening on loop to… and you need to know that I'm hella obsessed with your face.

“You're reading into it too much,” Yoongi told him with a shake of his head as he reached again for his coffee. “I'm not one to judge who you want to date, but think how this appears to other people.” Yoongi paused, seemingly debating what he should and shouldn't say next. “Jimin-ah, a lot could happen in ten minutes. Like you, Jungkook might be sending that message to the fans. Namjoon recommends a lot of songs. It wouldn't be about us.”

“I know, so I asked him directly.”

Yoongi almost spat his drink on him. He tapped his chest as he drowned out his cough to reaffirm. “Ya, you what?”

“I asked him if the lyrics were about me.”

“And?”

“He laughed,” Jimin confessed.

Truth be told, his ego was slightly hurt to see Jungkook’s initial response to his question. He was serious about it because he was just about more than a quarter sure about his theory. It didn't feel good to have this kid finding amusement to something he pored over. He could've just said ‘no’ outrightly and Jimin wouldn't have minded.

Jungkook’s laughter died down when he saw Jimin’s expression transform and he was reaching out for his hand in apology before he knew it.

Jimin let him hold him.

“It was…” he almost sounded uncertain. “Hyung, why are you being like this?” Sounded almost helpless and then relenting, “Yeah, it was about you. I was nervous so I laughed.” Instinctively, his free hand reached for his fringes like the night of Jimin’s birthday.

When he saw the younger fidget, Jimin felt relieved. Ah, he still knew Jungkook better than anyone. Mindful to see every little shift in the air, Jimin wasn't wrong in reading the situation.

He ruffled Jungkook's head and returned the wide staring with his own curled eyes in amusement. “I knew it,” mumbled to himself and turned once he got the confirmation that he wanted.

“You just left?” Yoongi asked him, tone surprised that it nudged some bafflement at the back of Jimin’s head.

He bobbed his head yes because, well, what else was he supposed to do? He already proved he was right. Yoongi hadn't even heard the rest of his evidences yet.

“Three,” he said to share what was left in his folder.

“Stop,” Yoongi said, planting a foot on Jimin's thigh to emphasize the urgency of his demand.

Jimin slapped the foot away and dusted off his pants.

“Do you even like Jungkook?”

He tilted his head sideways. “Of course,” Jimin answered simply, wondering why it was even a question in the first place. He liked Jungkook. Jungkook was and still is his favorite dongsaeng and BTS member. He'd take care of him even if he grew his muscles and grew taller than him.

Yoongi shook his head. “I don't think we're talking about the same thing.”

“For the third one… ” Jimin took in the opportunity of minute lag on Yoongi’s response to divert the conversation back to the task at hand. He really didn't understand what Yoongi meant but better to finish this off before his momentum dried and faltered.

He picked up his phone again and browsed through his apps. It was quite a long memory lane down Vapp’s timeline until he found the correct reference. He slid the video right on the important moment, him in his bathrobe with Taehyung’s voice singing in the background. The camera was on with Jungkook in his white shirt’s glory, sitting for all ARMY to see.

“That's right… Jimin-hyung is bad at playing games,” Jungkook said to echo his claim.

Back then, the staff berated them silently to turn off vapp. Jungkook was too loud. Jimin wasn't kidding when he said he was hearing him across the hallway. They were only given five hours to eat, take a bath, and nap before they reconvene for post-con review and plan out the adjustments in their set list but this kid chose to do an hour of live for the fans.

Jimin was out his room because Sungdeuk wanted to talk to Hoseok. They needed to work on spacing for Not Today. Their hyung thought they didn't maximize the stage well enough and he was also keen to give feedback on blockings for medley so they could properly execute group choreography for Bultaoreune.

Hoseok was too tired to get up his bed so he texted Jimin if he could get the notes in his place. Which Jimin was happy to do. He loved the fact that Hoseok trusted him and it gave him a sense of pride.

He and Sungdeuk were just about done talking when the older guy stopped him from his tracks by grabbing his arm.

“Can you tell Jungkook to tone it down a little? I heard he opened vapp but everyone's tired.”

Jimin honestly didn't want to deal with it. He was wearing his bathrobe without any make-up and only rushed out in the middle of his evening skin care routine because he wanted to be a useful dongsaeng to Hosoek and let him have an early rest. If he so much as spoke, audible for fans to hear, people were going to ask and he'd have to show himself on camera. Jeon Jungkook, really this kid should know when to stop.

“You know Jungkook listens to you well.”

Jimin jutted out his lower lip, “He doesn't.”

He could already imagine the maknae turning the volume up further for the sake of raising his hackles. Sungdeuk knew this but he was asking Jimin to do it because he knew Jimin couldn't say no when it came to Jungkook.

“Alright, alright,” he said, bobbing his head weakly and dragging his feet towards Jungkook’s room.

Across the end of the floor, he saw Taehyung towing right behind their leader who whispered him something. It made his friend glance at his direction and the next thing he knew, Namjoon was off his room and Taehyung was walking the opposite direction.

Taehyung got hold up by Sungdeuk who was midway his own room and right then, Jimin pressed on Jungkook’s room’s bell and twisted the knob open.

“I heard you from the neighboring room. Let me sleep,” he said, trying to keep his tone annoyed and nagging even when Jungkook was beaming at him so widely. “Stop singing in the middle of the night. Go to sleep.”

“You're losing me here, Jimin-ah. This is just you trying to discipline Jungkook. I would've scolded him the same.”

“Hyung,” Jimin replied sternly, eyes determined and a hand squeezing Yoongi’s thigh. “Did you watch it? Jungkook wanted my attention.”

Yoongi leaned back on his chair, challenging.

“Well, it wasn't even about that.”

His proof went beyond Jungkook's childish yet so endearing attempts to make Jimin come back and join his live. He slid the video right back to the moment and handed his phone in Yoongi’s hand.

When he crashed Jungkook's live that evening, Jimin had every intention to make an impression. After how people disregarded his precious, scant hours of work reprieve, he believed he deserved the screen time. It was tempting to test the waters to say the least. Not just with Jungkook. He wasn't dumb, well aware of his effect when he tried to appeal to someone.

“I don't know why you go to those lengths. They like you already,” Yoongi interrupted him mid-explanation, referencing to their fans. “What's more to prove?”

Jimin wondered to himself why but decided against it. “That's not the point, hyung,” he offered, not wanting to divert from the case at hand. They could ramble on about his insecurities later.

After confiscating the speaker that agitated Namjoon down to coordi noona who just finished fixing damaged buttons of their Blood, Sweat and Tears stage costumes, he went back in Jungkook’s room to greet their fans. A hand comb through his blond hair, cute sounds, zoom the bare face closer to the camera when he knew he just applied mask so he'd look good.

More important than that though was to stare at someone far longer than what was necessary that he’d be conscious to repay the attention. So he did what he knew would work, lure Jungkook's eyes to him and whisper. Mumble because that required someone to pay better heed and read his lips.

“That's not right, I was good at playing games a year ago.”

Then Jungkook would nod absentmindedly and whip his head towards his direction as Taehyung sang Chandelier in the background. Jimin wouldn't say it was the perfect song for the moment but it was good to have a song. Cause Jimin was aware they were recorded. He could go back to this, a song would help with epiphany and drama.

“What do you think?” he asked Yoongi who was squinting at his phone. Doubtful but probably a lot more convinced than he was five minutes ago. “I can be convincing if I want to.” He extended an arm to retrieve his phone.

He fell forward when his hyung suddenly pulled back to keep the small device out of reach. “I don't know if you're being serious about this.”

Jimin titled his head. “I am,” he said. “I am serious. Jungkook really likes me.”

He wasn't unreasonable. The kid had a habit of staring when someone would talk. He observed these things, sometimes obsessively, because it helped him understand the maknae better. So he knew why Jungkook would do it. He found it difficult to focus and physically directing his attention to someone would help him catch what they were trying to say better. It wouldn't be a deal then if Jimin was talking.

But when it was Namjoon who was put on spot to answer an English interview, their leader who still strove to speak a foreign language to represent the group, Jimin quite expected for Jungkook to listen… ogle.

“The korean teacher asked me a question, ‘What are the hardships of being a leader?’”

It wasn’t the first time Jungkook was caught. There was one at a fansign, then at the backstage of a music show, also during that one gayo episode and probably instances he wasn’t aware or the others he couldn’t remember. If Jimin wasn’t so busy overthinking things, he would have found it funny how Jungkook would play it cool and avert his gaze elsewhere. 

“There are hardships when we take positions, specifically being a leader...”

Namjoon continued his answer in the background while Jimin thought to himself what actually goes through the maknae’s head when he would look at him. Was the need so compelling that he’d do it or was Jimin really just that. Beautiful?

“Ya, do you hear yourself?”

Jimin giggled, his head falling back to comfortably rest on the loveseat. It was funny to call himself beautiful. Even he wouldn’t be that shameless.

The point still stands though. Jungkook would stare at him, and he would call him beautiful.

“It has to mean something right?”

He wanted to confirm the motivations behind the not-so-subtle attention. However, he didn’t want to do a repeat of the last time when he confronted Jungkook about the song. It made the air between them strained and the youngest would agonize in his presence. Jimin thought he was being shy so he’d hold back.

But then what about his own curiosity?

“You’re curious, that’s it,” Yoongi said plainly. “What would you do with that information?”

Jimin pursed his lips as he thought about it. 

Good point. Where was he leading with all these? He didn’t think that far enough. He wasn’t even done with his final proof.

“What do you think, hyung? What should I do about it?”

...To be continued

[fairycosmos]

chloe im so stupid im tired and I don’t feel well but here i am at school bc even tho my parents offered several times for me to stay home i have such a guilt complex about missing school that i pretty much just always go but i don’t know what’s wrong w me like im just sick and i keep crying and im just so STUPID i should’ve just stayed home in the first place but esp now that im here i feel like i can’t go home (im sorry I’m r

hey angel. it’s okay, you’re going to be okay. you’re having a really tough day but you’re getting through it, you’re trying your absolute best and that counts for so fucking much, i mean it. i just want to say that i’m super proud of you for making it to school in the first place, seriously. it seems like you care a lot about your education, and that’s extremely admirable. way more than i cared about mine when i was in school anyway. i cant tell you how many days i missed - but i was always able to catch up on the work and to find a way around it. you don’t have to be perfect all of the time, you dont have to constantly over exert yourself. you and your health are way more important than your grades. you can always fit studying into a schedule, but you can’t do that with your own comfort and happiness. it’s hard to accept that as a fact, but it’s the truth. if you need some time, a day or an afternoon for yourself, to recover from the fuckin stress of being a person - that’s alright. you’re entitled to that. everyone needs a break sometimes. 

when you’re feeling so depressed and upset and fucked up inside, it’s very easy to turn to self hatred. you’re trying to make sense of things, and if you turn against yourself, then at least you have someone/something to blame, right? but the thing is, is that these thoughts aren’t accurate or true. they’re coming from a very sad, panicked part of your brain. you’re not stupid, you’re not what you think you are. you’re just going through a tough time. the academic system is literally built to make you feel inadequate. your stress isn’t a reflection of you or you ‘failures’, it’s a reflection of your environment. look, it’s okay to process negative emotions, and it’s definitely okay to cry when you need to. it’s healthy, even if it’s painful. let it out, let it wash over you and then try your best to let it go over n over again. of course, it’s a lot easier said than done. but it’s still possible, if you want it to be. there’s comfort in pain, but holding onto it for longer than you need to is pointless. you can make the active choice to just let it be what it is, for now. 

it’s completely up to you what you do next, and how you go about dealing with the rest of the day. find a quiet place, like a bathroom, and sit down for a while. take a few deep breaths. maybe cry again if you need to. and then think objectively about what you need to do for YOU. i know there’s some sort of complex in your mind that is forcing you to believe that going home now that you’re already at school would be some sort of unforgivable crime, but i swear it’s not. it’s not a big deal, even if your brain is making you feel like it is. if you want to ask your teacher to call your parents to come pick you up, if you feel like that would be your best option deep down, then that’s your answer right there. there’s no shame in at all, babe. looking after yourself is actually more productive than completely exhausting yourself. take today to recharge and rest, and then you’ll be more capable of actually focusing on your work when you return to school, you know? you’re only human, and you’re at the end of your limit. it happens sometimes. and it’s nobody’s fault. after some sleep, some food, and some peace and quiet, you’ll see the temporariness of it all. 

if you dont want to go home, it may be a good idea to go to your school counselor/nurse to see if you can talk to them about what’s going on. i KNOW you don’t want to, and i know it literally seems like the worst idea in the world - but at the end of the day, leaning on other people is one of the healthiest ways to cope with what you’re going through. if you feel like this a lot, there may be an underlying issue that you can get real help and support for you. where you’re at right now isn’t where you’re always going to be, and if you genuinely feel like you need some guidance, then there are so many people who are willing to give you it. i promise. talk to your parents about it, or your doctor, or someone at school, or even a hotline if you’re too scared to reach out to anyone in person at the moment. you’ll see that there are so many resources and avenues of support available, so many ways to change your perspective so that it doesn’t feel as heavy and as bleak. there are coping mechanisms, thinking patterns, forms of therapy and counselling that will help you figure out the root causes of why you think the way you do, and how to calm yourself down when you get overwhelmed. of course, it’ll be a process. i’m not saying that talking to someone is going to instantly solve everything. but it’s a really wonderful place to start. and i honestly believe with all of my heart that you can do it, love. you don’t have to fight this all on your own. others understand more than you realize at the moment. like i said before, it’s easy to turn to self hatred and destruction. but if you’re aware that that’s just a defense mechanism, then you can start acting against it - you can start putting your mental health first. please at least consider it. and for today, just find some privacy, breathe and decide what you need to do. that’s more than good enough. you wont feel like it is, but it is. i’m sending you so much love and again, i hope you know how proud i am of you. i’m rooting for you so fuckin much. i’ll be here if you need a friend or if you want to talk properly, just let me know. 

[trickstarbrave]

i will probably have to move across the country to be w my gf a year and its rly exhausting to think abt. the cold is rly hard on my joints and ill be staying in fucking cleveland and A: ohio sucks and my parents are going to fight me on this decision bc they hate it and B: the weather there is god awful. i have a metal bar in my leg and it is physically painful to be in the cold and have weather changes and the like

and like i said my parents are gonna fight me on it. if i say we’re planning on moving to arizona after like a year of being there, they will get fussy and angry bc they wont see the point in me moving there and back despite the fact my gfs parents have a lot of money and are perfectly willing to help me move there and then the both of us move back. their solution will probably be sell a car in hopes i can pay some rent in the valley or smth or me getting a job in my home town and i literally despise my home town and would rather live anywhere else but there. im fine with visiting my family and friends and getting food, but i do not want to work a job where i am forced to interact with the people who decided i was the fucking anti-christ in middle/high school. i was afraid to go to my own neighbors funeral over the fact ppl would be there who i knew fucking hated me. and their solutions for jobs are either jobs i cant do due to physical limitations, maybe getting a job i can do but will be too competitive, OR taking classes at the community college part time while working as a full time fucking high school teacher in a building that housed some of the worst years of my fucking life educating children i am in no way mentally or emotionally capable of educating. 

where as there at least my gf’s parents would help support us until i can find a job, our mutual friend may also be allowed to move in and help us w bills and groceries and stuff, and my gfs parents will help us get a good apartment and help me get a job/sign me up for a program where disabled people get coaching and help us search for jobs we can do and gain experience. its not the worst place to spend a year trying to figure out how to fucking adult until we can all move to AZ (bc our mutual friend also wants to go there but ha ha money and also i dont feel comfortable just letting them fucking move here where they have no family and 1 friend who i know for a fact is emotionally and financially not super stable enough to help them)

im just really tired that i have to explain to my parents i would rather move to another place i hate than stay there or make them go into debt trying to get me a place to rent in a big city in hopes i can get a job and get on my own two feet alone when i have a gf w rich parents who literally wanna help me do it and also i would be helping our friend get out of a building that doesnt have fucking proper heating or wifi at all bc its a shitty old building and they cant pay to fucking fix it. 

sorry now im just rambling abt my life even tho i kno i have it WAYYYY better than most ppl. im from a pretty poor home town and not rly well off family. i just know they hate that state and are worried id die in a year and im also bummed i wont be able to see my best friend really/will have to fly down for christmas and stuff but. im tired of doing this long distance thing for 5 years lol i just wanna live together