#but that was years ago cuz i stopped using insta for a couple of years hgngdfm

[squisheebugdoodles]

dump of just some of the characters i've gotten ready for art fight this year 83 this particular set are all ones that i got in a trade with a friend years ago, except the green guy which i did still get from them but wasn't designed by them, if i remember right? i love them all very very much <3

[5sosbitchfest]

Reactions to Luke’s IG Story 6/14/2020

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate her as much as the next person but bi people in straight relationships are still bi

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I call bullshit on Messy being bi. Sorry, if she was bi, why didn't she come out earlier? Her 'haters'? Where? Also, Luke needs to learn the difference between supporting Pride and celebrating it while PR dating a fake ass 'bi' woman.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I also don’t think it’s fair to say Sierra has never been in a same sex relationship we really don’t know who she’s dated. This is a big problem in the LGBT community, when a bi woman is in a relationship with a man her bi identity gets erased. Halsey has actually talked about this a lot. While I agree that Lierra is not a queer couple, that does not erase Sierra’s identity as a queer woman, and pride is absolutely still for her to celebrate too 🌈

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: *i understand that it was Luke’s post but obviously she had input to post it.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Does Messy’s journey of her sexuality excuse her transphobia? Bc I don’t think so. She sure is selective about who and what she celebrates then. She posted that picture for attention, like everything else she does. It sounds harsh and if she wants to share her journey then great but let’s recognize and call it out for what it is. She doesn’t need to have Luke in a post to talk about her sexuality. Happy Pride Month to that person she purposely misgendered and attempted to invalidate.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: It’s not about disliking Sierra anon. She has only officially came out in a reply on twitter that she later deleted. That’s the only time it’s been mentioned. People struggle to come out and she tweeted and deleted it as if she actually wasn’t saying it. And now her boyfriend is the one essentially coming out for her? That’s what the issue is anon she has never openly said she was bisexual and now that it’s pride month she is? This is just the first time it’s being brought up& it wasn’t even her

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I don’t care that Luke posted good on him but him posting something for pride halfway through the month makes the other boys look inconsiderate for not posting anything

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm the anon that said the thing about "lets not make this into a mikey situation" I agree that it was a complete distraction tactic, and I also can not stand Sierra I was just trying saying that even with those two things in mind the post isnt harming anyone and so we shouldn't get mad at luke for making it.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate to admit it but I don't see Lierra ending anywhere near soon. Yes, couples don't last forever and still I don't think they will but let's be honest, he cares about her. Idk how things are in their life, and I hope he's happy, but I think she will stay around for this year and maybe a bit of 2021. 🙄

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Okey but was the "biracial" necessary? It made me cringe...

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I know luke can be cringy when it comes to Sierra but cmon haven’t we learn by now all the cringy stuff if from Sierra being on his account lol

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Sierra wrote that ... no caps, her grammar, fave chosen emojis etc totes her 10000000000% although glad acknowledging bisexual biracial but Angel? Angel by day and to stans but I thought she was the “late night devil”

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Something about Luke’s ig story doesn’t sit well with me... the fact that he felt the need to state that she’s biracial and bisexual just makes it look like he’s treating her like some kind of a trophy to show off, idk it just doesn’t feel right

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Why do L and S feel the need to make everything about S? This isn't about you, so shut up and actually get a job.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: “beautiful bisexual biracial angel” i’m gagging and laughing so hard yeah he 100% wrote and posted that himself /sarcasm

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I love luke and I'm happy if he's happy but the way Sierra clings to him in that photo is so gross. It really just feels like she's using him to do her dirty work. Like that post didnt feel genuine at all and it really seems like luke isnt even trying to convince us anymore he just does the bare minimum to make her happy. I dont blame him tho. Just feels icky.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: As a straight person, I hate straight couples and hope to never be cringe.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm sorry but that Instagram story that luke posted talking about his "beautiful bisexual biracial angel🥰🥺" does NOT (capitalize, underline and bold) sound like how luke would type something. The first part where he talks about how far we have to go sounds like him but not that that part.. not even close. Want to bet either sierra typed it, gave him the idea to say that OR did both cause we know she monitors him like crazy

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: "Bisexual biracial" is so unnecesarry. Luke, hon, shut up. People are out here fighting for their rights, and you feel the need and have the audacity to make it about your crazy ass girlfriend? Don't get me wrong, I love the boys, but making every fcking thing about your girlfriend-particularly luke- is not the point of these movements. So stfu Luke, stfu Sierra, stop making everything about S. That pisses me off, sorry I just needed to rant somewhere.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: is it just me or does the whole “beautiful bisexual biracial angel” not sound like him or something he’d say??? idk I’m kinda new to the fandom but it felt cringey reading that come from him

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Did you see what luke posted on his story? Seems him and Sierra are getting along great, smh. Also she's confirmed bi as well I guess. That's cool. Hope she doesnt use it as a weapon to defend criticism tho. Also did luke redo his hair cuz it seems very white again. Idk. Seems fishy. What are your thoughts? Do you think he was told to post that to distract from mike?

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: just when I was starting to forgive luke for his “response” to messy’s MESS, he goes and posts this... I’m TIRED

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: ok but as a lesbian it makes me sooo happy that Luke is celebrating pride and he's supportive of her sexuality 🥺 men never take bisexuality seriously and I love that he respects that. YET as someone who doesn't like s I'm like why....... like this week has been so frustrating and we were all like "they don't defend m bc they're in a sm break" and now he comes to post this and doesn't say anything? i just :(

allisonscarlett said to 5sosbitchfest: Honestly pride month came just in time cause I remember some stans saying that sierra is probably not bisexual and now there's luke insta story. I'm not trying to erase anyone's sexual orientation, I'm bisexual myself and I've found it weird that in the past years sierra didn't anything about her sexuality during pride month (and don't remember when she tweeted about being bi but I don't thing that it was in during pride month)

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: is anyone else getting"i can't be racist/homophobic because my gf is biracial and bisexual" vibes from lukes ig story or is it just me??? does he know he's digging a hole???

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: should we assume luke posted that in response to the insiders muke information? interesting timing on his part

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I honestly can't stand Luke rn. Angel? Angel???? ANGELLL????????????

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Okay but I don't think that counts as a "a straight couple thinking pride is theirs to celebrate". Just cause Sierra is in a straight relationship doesn't take away from the fact that she's bi, or mean she can't celebrate pride. And I think Luke wishing her and everyone a happy pride is actually a really supportive thing for him and again doesn't really count as a straight person thinking pride is theirs to celebrate, because he's focusing on her, not himself.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: “my beautiful biracial angel” i hate it here

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Gonna say something to MAYBE make some people happy. That picture was taken at a PROTEST. So they probably aren't together 😂😂 they were just together for the protest

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The biracial part of his story post is feeding into him being a king for dating a mixed person

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: ok luke did look very cute tho

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Every single time there’s any drama in the fandom, a new “cute” picture pops up and some people really think that’s goals? Like in what world is now the time for that kind of post, if it isn’t a direct pr response to the twitter mess of the past few days? Smh they’re not even trying to be subtle anymore

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: i think it’s fine for straight couples to go to and celebrate pride when one of them or both of them aren’t straight.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I was reading this blog a few hours ago and I read a post where someone said that everyone basically assumed sierra was bi bc of a comment and now Luke comes out calling her "bisexual" as if he was confirming it...Idk felt weird lol

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest:  Bisexual biracial angel😭😭 who made him write that and thought people will take it seriously

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: have you seen luke’s story? “especially to my bisexual biracial girlfriend” i fucking CACKLED like is it how she’s supposed to be known for?

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: thank you luke for that ig post for it will keep messy ass kissers away from m mentions for a while

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Funny how you just brought up everyone saying that Sierra was bi just cause she said she loved men and woman and woopty do guess what luke put on his insta story. “My beautiful bisexual biracial gf” Luke I love you but 🤢

[notalk-justthought]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hehe okay originally I was gonna answer these in an audio post, and I did that, then it turned out to be very quiet and it was 15 minutes of me being awkward af and fully answering like 15 questions soooooo yeah

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. 

one of my favorite movies is Train to Busan and I thought it was gonna be a regular zombie movie, but I ended up crying at the end,,, I wasn’t ready

2: Talk about your first kiss. 

I can’t cuz it hasn’t happened yet :I

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. 

uhhh there’s like two people? but the first one was a crush in 6th grade so maybe it wasn’t really love? idk, then the last one was like last year,,, the 6th grade crush was on this guy I had known since elementary school and idk why I had a crush on him, but 11 year old me liked him,,, but now he’s engaged which is wack cuz we’re both in our early 20s…. then the most recent crush where I had intense feelings for,,, she a gay meme,,,,ye

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far. 

one thing that I regret so far in my life is my first relationship for a couple reasons….

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

OH MY GOD my 15th birthday was lit, so my bro invited like 3 of his friends over (my bday in July 4th) and one of his friends brought those fireworks that shoot off into the sky then explode and it was awesome

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

I can’t think of a bad birthday, they just kinda happen lmao

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

uhhh tbh I can’t think of my biggest insecurity right now

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

I’m proud of living this far in life 

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

I have like freckles on various places of my body, there’s like 5-10 of them,,, uhh I have this cool birthmark on my finger that’s cool idk what else

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

I don’t get into fights

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

Already answered

12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

where I either died or was being stalked

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

my first time is gonna be awkward, I can guarantee that

14: Talk about a vacation.

I went to puerto rico this past summer and it was nice, we stayed in airbnbs, drank a few mojitos, swam in the ocean, saw a lotta cats, dogs, and horses… it was nice.

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

uhhhh idk probably like 6th grade lmao

16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

HOKAY SO this was after volunteering at this camp I had been volunteering at for the past couple years (this was two summers ago) and my bro gets invited to the end of the summer party with the rest of day camp and took me with him. so we went, we played some beer games, had pizza, had snacks and whatnot and it was just a fun time… okay that’s the ONLY party i’ve been to

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

I wanna be friends with this one girl who lives across the hall from me, we have talked once because we have a mutual friend, but she seems cool

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

already answered

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

a lot of shit happened in middle school,,,, there was this one guy I knew who wanted to be a werewolf, I balanced a bunch of stuff on my head, i had mini crushes on girls I didn’t realize were mini crushes, shit was wild

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

there was this one time during 11th grade in chorus class where the alto section was talking about how weird nipples are right? so when we were practicing going on stage for the chorus concert and such and we were backstage, one of my friends was like “hey do you wanna see how weird my nipple is?” and I was like “sure!” and then she showed me her boob,,, it was a gay time

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

I turned down my friend once when he asked me cuz I didn’t like him

22: Talk about your worst fear.

one of my worst fears is being alone, like romantic wise,,, 

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

I’ve never been turned down because I’ve never asked anyone out,,,, okay I GUESS I did kinda ask this one girl to pride, but she agreed….HOLY SHIT that was a date…. I’m so dumb,,,

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

My friend Daria sometimes writes little letters to me when we give each other presents and it’s about how grateful she is to have me as a friend, and it always means a lot

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.

there was this one friend I had and we were friends since like 6th grade and we were in so many classes together and we were both into anime and idk it was a fun time, i mean, online, it would seem like we’re still friends since we like each other’s insta posts and say happy birthday to each other still… her birthday is coming up… idk it’s weird cuz we haven’t talked since the beginning of our last year of highschool

26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

I do the same things I do when I procrastinate, listen to music, watch youtube, sleep yknow. also I only get sick like 2-3 times a year soooo

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.

uhhhhhh my friend Daria has nice thighs,,,,

28: Talk about your fetishes.

UHHHHHH no

29: Talk about what turns you on.

………….imma name two,,,, neck kisses and dirty talk……

30: Talk about what turns you off.

cigarette smoke, mean personalities,,, other stuff I can’t think of

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

already answered!

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

I remember my mom, bro, dog, and I would take walks to the lake where the town gets water from and such and when we’d get there, Sam would start climbing up this steep hill with his climbing gear and our dog would sniff around,,, we haven’t done that in years…

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

cry or talk to myself about why I’m sad/crying

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

foot cramps, but now I’ve had so many that it doesn’t hurt that much :/

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

I wish I could stop procrastinating, I’d get so much done and be so much happier

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

I like watching anime abridged series a lot,,,

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

First, what is love? lmao second, uhhh I don’t think I’ve been in love? idk

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

I can’t think of songs, but certain bands remind me of people, like The Growlers remind me of my friend Audra, MCR reminds me of my friend Ellie, Rainbow Kitten Surprised reminds me of my bro

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

uhhh how to study is one of them, time management is another

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

the end of me thinking about the bad things that happened in my relationship/friendship with my ex was really freeing, like knowing that what caused that was both of us was good to know and it was definitely a turning point. I literally didn’t stop thinking about it until I figured out it was both of us who did each other wrong. I’m glad that I did cuz that would’ve held over me for even longer.

[mftrainwreck]

not today

Ok so here we are. I’ve been meaning to start this blog & tonight I decided it was time because the past month as been w i l d.  Sometimes I feel like I’ve taken two steps forward & three steps back. Nevertheless, progress has been made & I want to document it for myself & for whoever may be going through something similar. Also, I’m writing a paper for class & all this word-processing made me want to write something for myself. & since I haven’t kept a diary since high school, we’re doing this. 

Anyway, in this blog, you (whoever you are) will find my complete & honest thoughts. A brain dump, if you will, for all those bullet journalers out there. I really just need an outlet & the fact that someone might accidentally find this blog & read it & feel for me makes it a little exciting. But hold up, we need some background. . . 

Someday I’ll forget the day he left, but surely not today.

r u n d o w n  This is Z, my boyfriend of 4 years until this past February. Holy moly. Yo, honestly I don’t even wna explain how we met & whatever cuz I don’t think I can do that right now, maybe later. But not today. Anyway, that’s him. Shout out to the real love of my life, my dog, Koko. 

The past three days felt like the first few days after we broke up. I went back to that place where I didn’t want to do anything but figure out ways I could save this, even though I knew that we couldn’t be together right now. Prior to these last three days, I was level-headed. I was reasonable. I accepted the fact & I was excited to work on me. But something happened, a combination of wrong timing &. . .idk, just wrong timing haha. The same day I started my period, he sent me a Snap of him wearing a shirt I’d gotten him this past Christmas. Fantastic. We hadn’t texted in a couple days, & I thought, this is great, he thought about me. So, my PMS-ing ass (I really blame my period for my actions following this encounter) proceeds to text him. That’s when the hurricane hit. 

One day that song won’t make me cry anymore.

h u r r i c a n e r i s c h e l      I was going to call it a tornado, but a lot of crying was involved, so it’s a hurricane. Not to get into too much detail, but like I said, I was crazy. I asked a lot of questions, only having some of them answered because he didn’t “have to answer that” *huge eye roll* & now that I’m thinking back on the past three days, I feel exhausted for myself. Crying is exhausting & puffy eyes are not cute. & I’m NOT going to start crying rn bcuz I told myself I’m not crying tonight. OK. Moving on. 

Oh, you don’t know what sadness means ‘til you’re too sad to fall asleep.

f i r s t    s t e p  My problem, which was not a problem prior to these past three days, was texting him when I pleased. So, as a solution, I deleted his number, which I don’t have memorized. At first, I blocked him, but bcuz he said he wouldn’t text me unless I texted him first. Then I unblocked him bcuz blocked numbers are saved in a list that I have access to so, no no. I deleted our texts & group chats that he was in, so I basically have no way of texting him unless I ask someone for his number. I told Y & J that if I ever ask them for his number, they are to ask me what the hell I need it for. & if I ever do need to send a message to him, I’ll just tell K. Anyway, social media won’t be a problem bcuz I’m not tryna look desperate. So that’s that. I think that’s a pretty damn good step. & today being the first day without his number, I’m not gna lie, I wanted to reach out, & it helped out a lot that I knew I couldn’t. So, I think this is gna be good. 

One day the thought of him won’t hurt the same.

s t a y    t u n e d   Anyway, there’s lots more to come. This is pretty fresh. I still got tons of pictures on my phone. I think I deleted pics from 2016 already, but I stopped cuz I couldn’t take it. So it’ll happen in chunks. There are people who don’t know yet. There are things at home that I want to put away. I’ll probably make a Z box over break. I haven’t yet thought about what to do about my posts on Insta, although I’ve always thought to keep them there if this ever occurred. Anyway (even that stupid word reminds me of him bcuz he corrected me from saying “anyways” years ago), there’s a lot. So here we go.

Also, I’m taking a page from Grey’s Anatomy & using song titles. I’ve been sleeping on Alessia’s new album bcuz I thought it would be too girlish & youthy for me, BUT WHO KNEW it would actually be my life rn. So stay tuned for the next song . . . 

Oh, piece by piece, I’ll be restored, but surely not today.