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gaypasta · 5 years ago

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do you want fries with that?

chapter 13 Read on Ao3 Chapter Directory

The quiet blanket of darkness shrouded the quarry, enveloping the group of teenagers in their own bubble, untouched by the universe. The fire that Mike had managed to get blazing, even with the dampness of Winter settling in every tree branch and log, had set a warm glow around the Marsh, the light from the flames gently bouncing off the thick forest that surrounded them. Their own little pocket of Derry that was just for them.

The little clearing of the Marsh had quickly become the group’s usual hang-out-spot, so much so that all of them - bar Ben, who was working - had biked through the frosted streets of the town, trekked down through iced leaves and mud, with only a pair fo flashlights between them and the moon peeking from behind the trees to guide their way (not that they needed it, they knew the area surrounding the Quarry and Marsh like the back of their hand). It was cold, being December, but none of them had ever queried their collective decision to sit in the great outdoors - all too fond of their time spent there to ever really contest it.

So there they were sat, a group of somewhat misfit teenagers all bundled up in thick coats and scarves and whatnot - thankfully the thickness of the forest around them managed to keep some of the heat from the fire from completely dissipating into the air, and their coats were thick enough to fend off any shivers or teeth chattering they would have. Stan noted that even Richie had forgone his usual outfit of shorts and t-shirt for a frayed pair of jeans that rose high on his ankles - clearly he had dug them from the pits of his closet - and a heavy knit sweater that hung off of his frame so much that Stan had originally mistaken it for a blanket at first.

Richie was sat on the ground, opposite where Eddie and Stan were sitting on the soft fabric of the camping loveseat that Mike had adorned them with one evening after helping his Uncle clear out their garage. Previously, they had all sat on the cold ground, or fought over the log which allowed their pants to avoid the worst of the mud and moss stains - there hadn’t really been much of a fight in reality, just some light-hearted complaints as Eddie and Stan claimed their seats, sat close as to not fall off, shoulders usually pressed together.

The camping couch had been the first addition, a mossy green fold-out seat, that had definitely seen better days.It came with small holes in the arms, netted in mesh to hold drinks presumably, Stan usually pulls off his wool mittens and folds them in it instead, hating the way the fabric rubs against his wrists - which were burning more than usual tonight, after Stan scratching at his left one earlier in an effort to calm his need to skirt around and fix everything.

The next addition had been a plain white plastic deck chair, small splinters running through the back and a couple of strange stains that didn’t quite rub out under Eddie’s furious scrubbing with disinfectant wipes. Richie refused to tell anyone where he found it. He stole it from his neighbour’s front yard after they ran over his bike in their shitty pickup truck, he had told Stan later. Stan doubted they would even notice it was gone. Ben had procured two camping chairs from his parents, who were happy enough to part with them, they were in better shape than the one that Eddie and Stan shared, but they were smaller - only fitting one person at a time. Sometimes Stan or Eddie would sit in those, but today they had sat down together, enjoying each other’s company.

In total there were five seats for their rag-tag group to sit on, or seven if the large log was included. Richie still maintained the ground was way better, being ‘one with nature and all that shit’. Stan knew he just liked to pick tufts of grass from the ground - which is exactly what he was doing now, tugging at the cold grass and plucking it out of the ground, letting it fall onto a small pile on the thick plaid blanket that Bill had rolled out for him.

Richie was in an animated discussion with Bill, who was sifting through his beaten up backpack, while Richie was fiddling with the grass in a pointed effort not to meet eyes with Stan, who was watching the two with a twinge of a headache in his forehead. Stan wasn’t sure why he was staring at Richie with such venomosity - he wanted Richie to know he was mad at him, but with the way Richie shifted to face Bill made Stan painfully aware that Richie could tell he was mad at him, and was purposely avoiding him. Stan clutched his thermos in his hands, feeling the ridges of the handle ache into his fingers a little.

Eddie eyed him up from under his thick wooly hat that was so large on his small head it kept falling over his eyes, his knees up to his chest, holding his tiny hot water bottle into his stomach - an attempt to ward off hypothermia, which his Mother had told him he would catch if he so much as left the house during Winter. “What’s the matter with you?” Eddie quipped, sounding mildly annoyed which everyone had grown to accept was just the way Eddie’s voice sounds, holding no real contempt.

“Nothing. Why do you ask?”

“You're about to geiser your fucking chicken soup.”

Stan forcibly relaxed his hold and turned to meet Eddie’s eyes, not that he could see anything more than a row of small dark lashes from the bottom of his eyes, “It’s tomato soup.”

Eddie mumbled a whatever and changed to topic of conversation to criticism of Bill’s choice of snacks for this evening.

“Are you fucking kidding, you know I can’t eat that much sugar! I’ll go into sugar overload or whatever and fall into a diabetic coma - are you trying to fucking kill me, Bill?”

Bill laughed as he laid out the crackers and chocolate on his blanket, “I duh-don’t think that’s how it works. Besides, you’re not even duh-duh-diabetic.”

“Yes I am, I can’t eat much sugar - don’t you remember when all I had in my lunchbox in fucking elementary school was a cheese sandwich and sliced cucumber - I wasn’t even allowed an apple because it sent my sugar levels up!”

“Juh-just try it?” Bill pleaded, stabbing a marshmallow onto what looked to be a piece of barbeque equipment, Bill must have noticed Eddie eyeing the tool with disgust because he quickly followed up, “I washed it and it’s duh-disinfected.”

Eddie opened his mouth in another complaint, slapping Bill’s outstretched arm away as he tried to poke Eddie with the marshmallow.

“You didn’t seem all that concerned with sugar when you were knocking back cocktails like a stripper in Vegas.”

“Yes, dickweed and then I passed out.”

“Puh-pretty sure that wuh-was more the alcohol's fault than the sh-sugar.”

“That’s a lie!” Eddie flustered, stumbling over his words as he does when he gets agitated. Beverly laughed from between Richie and Stan, perched with her legs crossed in the stolen chair. Eddie turned with a sharp, “What!”

“Eddie, you probably don’t even remember climbing up Richie like a monkey.” She said and judging by Richie’s face - he didn’t either. Beverly laughed again at Richie, “Oh my God - Bill definitely took a picture - I think he took about a hundred.”

Eddie’s face fumed a violent pink, “I didn’t do that.”

“Awww, Eds! You couldn’t keep your hands off me, just wanted to climb me like a tree you little devil, don’t worry - if you wanted my bananas all you had to do was ask.” Bill laughed and elbowed Richie lightly, “Ow - shit - I don’t want to hear you complaining about me being boney, Big Bill - I feel like I just got stabbed in the ribs.” Bill elbowed him again.

“You wuh-were asking Stan what it felt like to be tuh-tuh-tall, then you just stuh-starting climbing Richie, to guh-get onto his shu-shu-shu-shoulders.”

“You ended up hitting your head on the doorframe and started crying, then passed out like three minutes later.” Mike finished for Bill, who had started to choke on his words as he tried to bristle down laughter.

Stan could hardly remember that, replaying it in his head was like watching TV from ten feet underwater, but he found himself biting his own laughter at the mental image nonetheless.

“I fucking hate you all. Give me the stupid marshmallow and shut the fuck up.”

Bill handed everyone out their marshmallows, all but Eddie and Stan getting theirs pierced onto a clean-enough looking stick, clearly snapped off from a tree. Stan wasn’t overly partial to sweet things, but he toasted his marshmallow nonetheless. Mike was telling Bill all about a baby lamb he had helped be born, pretending not to find it amusing when Eddie blanched and grew a little green at the details, while Bill looked at him in awe, his face interested and completely drawn into everything he was hearing. Bill never had anything but love for his friends painted across his face, Stan briefly thinks that whatever girl Bill ends up falling in love with just might be the most loved girl on the planet. His eyes flicker to where Richie was lying sideways on the log, fully leaning on Bill and conversing erratically with Beverly about some show they had both been keeping up to date with, his cigarette leaving trails of orange amber in the air as he wildly gestured, almost burning himself a couple of times.

Stan feels slightly out of place, sitting where he was, because for the last week or two - ever since he and Richie had began sneaking beer and wine and all sorts into their bedrooms and kissing behind the secrecy of their closed doors - they had sat beside each other. It had earned a look from Eddie as Stan gestured Richie onto the foldable double seat, but nothing was said as Eddie sat on one of the single fold-out chairs, rubbing it with a disinfectant wipe before sitting down. Stan feels slightly lost without Richie shouldering him to encourage him into a conversation, or slinging an arm obnoxiously around his shoulder to draw Stan into whatever shitty monologue he was doing. His eyes followed Richie’s cigarette and he found himself tasting the nicotine from Richie’s breath.

He swallowed as the thoughts of Richie’s dirty cigarette breath panting into his own started swimming through his head. He tried to roll the tension from his shoulders as he imagines Richie panting his dirty cigarette breath into someone else’s mouth.

Richie catches his eye for a moment, his mouth stuttered a little around his story before he furrowed his brows and made a point of looking away from Stan. It didn’t help Stan get any less mad at him.

Stan was finding himself brewing over the incident that had happened at work, the very thing causing the current tension between the two. When Stan returned from outside to continue work, Richie just sailed past him with a cigarette dangling from his lips without looking at him. In fact, Richie hadn’t looked at Stan the rest of the shift. It made Stan livid. It wasn’t enough that Richie was using him as a practice fuck, but Richie was trying to drag his name through the mud just because he’s getting pissy about everything.

“Well, I think we see why Stan never does any of the cooking.” Eddie’s voice snapped Stan out of his trance, he had been staring at Richie - who had looked up at the noise and gave him a strange look. Stan’s marshmallow was burnt - to put it lightly - to shit.

“I’ll remember that when it’s my turn to bring the snacks,” Stan said, scraping the burnt food off of his prong against a rock in the fire pit, wincing at the long white strings of sugar that connected the two - it reminds him of when him and Richie pull apart after kissing and their lips are joined by a string of their mixed saliva. Gross.

Not gross.

Stan’s stomach twisted as Richie let out a loud “OOOOOOOOOO - Eddie’s favourite chocolate brownies? Withheld!”

Stan usually baked his own goods to bring down, it relaxed him and it gave him something to busy his hands with. His friends have tried his food enough between Stan bringing in something to sell in the dessert counter every weekend, to him whipping up some pastries or cakes to bring down to the Marsh. And true to Richie’s statement - Eddie was borderline obsessed with Stan’s brownies - always moaning obscenely when he ate, much to the joy of Riche and the exasperation of literally everyone else. Somehow his ‘diabetes’ was always forgotten about those days.

Eddie’s face was instantly bright with panic, “Well - I - no, right - Shut up Richie, God you’re such a tool - cooking and baking are completely different, right?” He looked around the group for support, all of them feeding quickly into this little bit they had started and looking deep in thought.

“I don’t know, Eddie - it doesn’t seem very convincing…” Beverly started.

“I buh-believe Stan has the right to withhold any buh-buh-baked goods he sees fuh-fit.”

“You’re the judge, Stan.”

Stan hummed in mock thought, tapping the pad of his finger against his chin as Eddie vibrated next to him, “Both sides have compelling arguments, this might take a while to reach a fair decision.”

“Oh wow! Stanley on the fence about something, what a shock.” Richie said, lowly, wiping a bit of chocolate from his smore off his mouth. He missed a bit, Stan noticed - just on the corner. Richie met his eyes and forced out a laugh to punctuate his statement. Stan knew better of course, as the rest of them let out small chuckles at Richie’s playful jab - Stan knew there was little playfulness behind it.

“Is Richie Tozier making obsolete observations in an effort to make himself the center of attention? It’s been a while since we’ve seen that.” Stan forced with a sordid smile, biting his tongue a little.

Richie scowled at him for a second, just quick enough so that no one but Stan - who hadn’t lost eye contact - would notice, “Stan the man gets off on a good one. Let’s roll out the red carpet for that one.” Richie lightened his tone and mimed himself unfurling a large carpet, shaking it and laying it in Stan’s direction. Stan shot him the finger in response.

The rest of the night had followed pretty much the same pattern, Richie and Stan throwing digs at each other under the guise of jokes, with laughter in their voice but venom in their eyes as they stared each other down.

“Aw, your Mom’s a bitch? Sorry to hear Eds - but hey! Look on the bright side, she can’t be any more of a bitch than Stan.”

“Beverly - we know you’re not a slut - or whatever those assholes in your class call you. That title goes to Richie.”

“Hey, Stan - wanna show us how much of your dick the Rabbi cut off?”

“Stop molesting Mike - none of us know how many STD’s you’re carrying.” “If that stick up your ass was any deeper it would be tickling your prostate.”

“No, I don’t think those are jokes, Eddie. I think Richie is just truly that desperate that he would fuck anything with legs at this point.”

“Do you guys reckon that Rabbi’s diddle kids the same way priests do? Maybe that’s why Stan’s such a frigid.”

The two quipped back and forth, raising the occasional look of shock from Bill or Eddie - who had known the two for so long that they knew when both Richie and Stan had overstepped the unspoken line in the sand. They said nothing, however - just shooting curious glances at the two and continuing the conversation along its way.

It wasn’t until Richie made comments about the small string of bruises on Stan’s neck that Stan had desperately tried to cover during the week that Stan had decided he had taken enough of this petty back-and-forth bullshit. He’s had enough of Richie painting him as something he’s not, enough of Richie being bitchy, enough of Richie saying shit just to get a reaction out of him and his friends. It wasn’t fucking fair.

So he had stood up, grabbed Richie’s arm mid-smoke and pulled him out of the clearing, out of the Marsh and downhill, just far enough that the wind wouldn’t carry their voices and concealed enough in the trees that they would muffle them too. Richie had tried to tug his arm free and remain seated, but Stan threatened to dislocate his shoulder and he followed suit with a look of displeasure.

Stan all but threw Richie’s arm out of his hand when they reached what Stan deemed a good enough place to talk. Richie looked offendedly at his arm, rubbing it gently and not meeting Stan’s eyes.

“What is your fucking problem .” Stan seethed.

Richie had the decency to look somewhat sheepish as he backed himself into a tree and laid his weight against it, trying to shrink a little under Stan’s eyes, which were sharp and small, squinting at Richie with anger. Richie didn’t respond but he had the look on his face of wanting to say something, but deciding against it.

“Richie, you can’t push my buttons all day, embarrass me, point out my fucking hickeys to my friends - which, by the way, none of them had even noticed - only to decide to stop the trash talk when I’m asking you why. Asking you why you’re acting so weird about everything all of a sudden.”

Stan stopped himself before he went any further. Not looking to rant at Richie anymore than he just wanted Richie to stop being weird. All this aggression and spite was coming out of left field, and between Stan trying to deal with the sinking feeling in his chest every time he thinks about Richie moving on, to the clutching of his stomach he gets whenever he thinks of Richie in ways that no one else has seen him and with the addiction he’s found himself within Richie’s mouth - it was leaving him stressed and worn thin. His disorder had fed into the stress and he found himself sleepless most nights because he could swear the gentle ticking of his watch fell out of beat every twenty-three seconds. He was confused, he was upset, he was angry and he just wanted his best friend to be there with him, side-by-side like they had been.

Richie cricked his neck a little, making Stan cringe when it made a cracking sound. Richie stays silent for a moment, but the look on his face makes Stan let him - Richie looks like he’s mulling over his words, opening his mouth every so often just to close it and start the process again.

It was rare that Richie really thought before he spoke.

“I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I was just messing around.” Richie looked like he didn’t even try to believe his words.

“Don’t bullshit me, Rich.” Richie’s eyes flickered to Stan’s at the nickname, prompting him to pull out another cigarette - having lost his previous one when Stan yanked his arm a little too hard and he had to drop it to regain balance. “You - you can’t just decide to start lying to me now.”

Richie struggled to get a flame from his lighter, twisting his body against the wind a little to catch a pocket of still air. “What am I lying about, then?”

“You tell me.”

“I don’t get it.” Richie took a drag, face relaxing with the rush of nicotine.

Stan moved closer towards him, only maybe four feet between them now. He could see the tobacco curling as it burned in his cigarette. “Stop it. I’m not going to play this game - I’m not playing cat and mouse with you so that you can skirt around the topic and confuse me into dropping it.” Richie shot him a look, “Don’t look at me like that - you know that I understand how you work. I know that you’d love to pretend not to know what I’m talking about, dodge my questions until I get frustrated and then you feed into it, making comments and being a trashmouth until I walk away. I know your game plan, Rich and you know me well enough to know I won’t play it. ”

Richie’s face bled from a look of shock into a small smile. A gentle smile that comes naturally to your face when you’re content, like when you step into a particularly warm patch or sunlight, or when you smell something that reminds you of a good memory, or when you’re sifting through old photos of you and your friends. A small smile that isn’t overly conscious or prominent on the features, but a comfort nonetheless.

“Of course you do.” Richie looked at Stan with an atypical softness, Stan felt like he was under a microscope for a moment, “I just - uh,” Richie trailed off, taking a drag of his cigarette and blinking in thought, “It’s just messing with me a little, us going from two innocent little church boys who want to do nothing more than make their Mommys proud to fuckin’ like rabbits in heat. Forgive me for getting a little whiplash, Staniel.”

Stan’s face heated a little, “We had sex once.”

Richie laughed and winked, taking another drag - for dramatics probably.

“I- is that the issue?” Stan’s stomach had started to hurt a bit, “We can stop. You didn’t have to get all defensive and bitchy about it, all you had to do was say, Rich.”

Richie almost choked on the smoke in his lungs, “No! No, we uh - we don’t need to stop.” He eyed Stan with a little uncertainty, “Unless you do?”

Stan shook his head, toeing the ground with his thick winter ankle boots, “Not really. It’s fun, right?” Stan met Richie’s eyes then, and they both felt a small smirk creep onto their faces before Stan quickly looked away, his face heating up - God it’s cold, no wonder his face is heating up.

“Yeah, it is.”

Stan cleared his throat, “But - why are you getting weird about it, then? It was your bright idea, dumbass.” Richie shrugged, relaxing into the tree, “Hey - don’t get complacent, Richie. We’re not done.”

“I told you why I was acting out, now let’s kiss and make up.”

“No - I want you to apologize.”

Richie blinked, hand falling from where he had gone to grab Stan’s arm. “What for?”

Stan took a deep breath, “For calling me gay in front of my friends, Richie.”

Richie’s jaw clenched a little, his words were spoken forcefully, like he was trying his best to force them out of his throat, “Oh I didn’t realize being gay was so disgusting -”

“Don’t be a dick about it. You know what would happen if rumors spread, Richie. I’m not just some kid, hell, I’m not even just some Jewish kid - I’m the Rabbi’s son. This fucking town hates us enough, what do you think they’ll do if they find out the Rabbi’s son is gay? What do you think all the higher ups in the Synagogue will think? It would ruin us.”

Richie bit his tongue, “But you’re not gay, right?”

“Obviously.” Stan’s fingers dug into his forearms.

“Obviously.” Richie said, a sardonic smile on his face. “So, what? Do you think one of our friends is going to go spread around Derry a rumor that you like dick? Does that fit the script of this little fantasy movie you’ve got playing in your head?”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“No! I don’t, Stan. Because you’re the one getting so paranoid at the fucking horror that any of our friends might possibly think you’re gay. I don’t care if you like dick or not - and neither do they - do you really think Big Bill is going to give a fucking hoot if you start swinging for the other team? Hell, Bill probably wouldn’t even bat an eye if you got down and started giving him a fucking handy - he would just give you a great ol’ pat on the back for being ever so brave.”

Stan stepped closer to Richie and gave him a light shove, “Stop it.”

Richie glared and flicked his cigarette off to the side, barely half smoked, “Stop what? Telling you the truth? The truth that not a single one of us will give a shit if you’re gay, if I’m gay - if fucking Mike’s horse is gay - the only person that has an issue with it is you.” Richie stabbed a finger into the center of Stan’s chest.

“I’m not gay, and I don’t hate gays, either. The reason it irritates me is because it’s gross. I don’t like you fucking talking about me and sex at all.Keep our fucking sex life out of your trashmouth and in the bedroom.”

Richie moved his finger from a point and just … rested his palm on Stan’s chest. “Ha - like it’s our dirty little secret, Stanley?”

Stan’s chest tightened at that, a flush of heat washing over him so fast it made him a little dizzy, he found himself shifting slightly closer towards Richie without really realizing it. “Yuh-yeah.” He choked around the word, his voice cracking. Thanks a lot, puberty.

Richie seemed to catch onto that, a knowing smirk creeping onto his face. The same smile Richie usually shoots Stan after he locks his bedroom door, creeping over to Stan who’s sitting patiently on his bed and leaving Stan all but ravaged in a matter of minutes. Shirt collar unbuttoned down to his chest, lips swollen from gentle tugs and light bites, neck sheening with saliva - and sometimes light peppers of blue and black - if Stan was particularly inebriated either from the alcohol or the need coursing through his veins.

Stan barely had a moment to stall himself before Richie grabbed his coat, pulling him forward to crash into his mouth. Stan immediately becoming pliant under Richie’s mouth, following his movements and moving in tangent with him as though it was a dance they had rehearsed for months on end. Richie pulled away soon after pulling Stan forward, too soon.

“Is this okay?”

Stan found himself moving towards Richie in impulse, lips just brushing against Richie’s every time he lets out a short puff of breath. “Huh?” Great contribution, Stanley. Stellar performance.

Richie kissed into him lightly, a smile ghosting his lips, “We’re one-hundred percent sober. Does that not bother you?”

“Didn’t last time.”

Richie paused for a moment, a sentence clearly dancing on his lips before he swallowed it, taking Stan’s mouth in the process, “Alright.”

They kissed for a while, open-mouthed with Richie sucking on Stan’s bottom lip every now and again, the cold air nipping at the wetness of their lips, Richie’s hands still grappled in the front of Stan’s coat - as if Stan would melt away into the icy ground if he let go. Stan doesn't think he could move away from Richie if God himself pulled at him. A tongue would occasionally trace Stan’s lips - which he would open - only for Richie to trace his lips again and go back to dancing his lips over Stan. Fucking tease.

“You like this being a dirty little secret, huh?” Richie said, words murmured into Stan’s mouth - who let out a groan in response, “You like running around with your best friend in secret?”

Stan groaned a little louder as Richie pulled away only to move to kiss along his jaw, working his way from Stan’s chin to his ear, before pausing and burying his head into Stan’s temple. Stan could feel him mumbling something into his skin, but Richie just shook his head when Stan asked what it was. The thought was pushed out of Stan’s head when Richie gave a firm kiss to his temple - making Stan’s stomach twist heavily. Then he imagined it. Them touching, mouths wet against each other, Richie clutching onto Stan’s coat and face buried in Stan’s hair. Everything - but instead of Stan it was someone else and the twisting in his stomach turned into lurching, a hollow almost painful feeling. He twisted his head, shaking Richie off his temple - who frowned at him through his stupid coke-bottle glasses.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Stan knew it was ridiculous, selfish even, to bring up. He had no right to feel like Richie owed him anything, he knew that this was for fun, that it was just a bit of fooling around for whoever their future partners may be. Stan briefly wonders how much of this could be applied to a woman. He shook the thought.

Richie looked unimpressed, “Don’t make me repeat your big spiel about you knowing when I’m lying back to you - because I will. Well, not word for word, cuz, to be honest, I wasn’t really paying that much attention - but the same sentiment, yeah?”

Sten just stared at Richie, trying to fumble over words in his head, trying to gather all the rogue thoughts in his head and staple them into a cohesive sentence, with Richie’s stupid fucking face half an inch away.

“It’s just uh -” Stan stopped himself, not quite knowing why he started with nothing to say. Richie made a ‘go on’ motion with his hand, “It’s stupid.”

“I know you are but what am I?” Stan pinched his neck roughly, “Ow - who pinches a neck what the fuck - sorry, go on.”

“No.”

Richie looked amused and painted a stupid puppy-dog look on his face, “But what abwout us being fwiends? Fwiends don’t keep secwets…”

“I’ll tell you under the conditions that you never do that again.”

“Deal.”

“I just - it feels weird that we’re doing … this stuff,” He gestured between their mouths, “and someday we’ll be doing it with other people. It’s just a bit strange to think about.”

Richie looked somewhere between aghast and intrigued, “Like… a threesome?”

Stan briefly wonders if the coroner would believe Richie just choked himself to death. Yes, officer - he just wrapped his own around his neck and choked himself to death right in front of me! I have no idea how he did it. “No. Like with our future girlfriends. Or uh - boyfriend, I guess.”

Richie looked crestfallen for a moment, a strange look ghosting over his face that Stan had never seen before. It made him look much older - an appearance of seriousness and the face of someone who was far too tired for someone so young slowly took over his features. Stan didn’t move his eyes off of Richie’s face even as his friend slowly rose a hand to his face, resting his palm on his face. It was so light, Stan wondered if Richie was actually touching him at all or if it was his imagination - yet it was the most definable feeling that Stan had felt all evening. More than the harsh cold, more than the biting anger, more than the open mouthed-kisses and Richie murmuring into his mouth.

“I don’t think I could have anyone after y-” Richie shut his mouth closed, so quickly that his teeth clinked together, Stan just blinked, “You’re my best friend.” He settled with. Stan’s heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest and lie in a heap on the dirty ground.

“You’re my best friend too, Richie.” Even if you are a jackass.

Richie stared at Stan, in the same expression he sees Beverly staring after Ben with, or Bill after Georgie. Without leaving room for argument, it was a look of pure, unadulterated love. Stan’s heart was beating in his fucking guts when Richie placed the most gentle kiss in the world on Stan’s mouth.

“Then that’s enough for me.” Richie said it as though it was final. Like the final piece of the universe had just been slotted into place, planets aligning and stars burning and supernovas beaming, as though that single sentence was enough to stabilize everything that had happened, a final explanation and final prescription to Stan’s worries. It just made Stan’s stomach ache even worse.

Richie parted, the look wiped off his by face now, replaced with a neutral expression, if not with a little tug upwards of the lips. He tugged on Stan’s arm - parallel with how Stan had pulled on Richie’s not minutes before. Richie was laughing as he tugged Stan through the trees - almost slipping and sending them sprawling down the hill, never once loosening his grip on Stan’s arm until they made their way back to the Marsh, to be met with questioning glances.

Richie waved it off with a joke about Stan beating him up, evading the questions at hand, covering up the truth with a grin and walking effortlessly into a separate conversation. Stan thinks he’s very good at that.

Despite Richie’s loud laughter ringing out at Eddie as Mike tries to place a daisy chain on his head, while Eddie desperately tried to shake him off, there was something off about Richie. An air of sadness floated around him, his shoulders didn’t jump as much as they usually did when he laughed, his fingers constantly around a cigarette, consistently filling his lungs up with smoke without a second thought, his spare hand faintly fidgeting with the hem of his massive jumper. Richie could fool everyone else - but not Stan.

Stan briefly sees the flash of Bill’s camera, but he ignored it - the picture of Eddie with a daisy crown and a huffy face will no doubt be catered into his hands in a couple of minutes. He continues to watch Richie - who Stan had decided - is much more of an enigma than he first appears.

Stan can’t help but shake the feeling that their conversation only left him with more questions than answers, and that it had been little more than a thin sheet of wallpaper spread over a growing expanse of mildew, a cheapshot temporary cover-up of a deeper seeded issue. Stan can’t quite shake the feeling of his heart fluttering every time Richie does much of anything.

He spends the rest of the night wishing he could kiss that smudge of chocolate on the corner of his mouth off. Company be damned.

#stozier #it 2017 #it 2019 #it fanfiction #stan uris #richie tozier #dywfwt #anyone else remember when this was a simplelittle diner au lmao

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skam-ruined-my-life · 6 years ago

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Hi!!! Love your blog! I have a fun question for you! If you could assemble the girl squad and boy squad (Including “Even”duh) from all the Skams into one show, who would you pick from each show and why? 🥰

Thank you💕💕

Such a fun but hard question dhjdjdj I needed some time to think.

This got incredibly long, so I am putting it under a read more.

For starters, I am going to exclude the og because, for some reason, it feels wrong to mash the og characters with the remake!ones. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the og wasn’t perfect, it had a lot of flaws actually (see s2 and 4 or the overall poor treatment of wlw). But the squads were perfect imo.

Now that we established that, let’s gooo.

Girl squad

Eva: I have to say Isa (NL) but you could probably tell that from my icon. I love how different she is from all the other Evas. She has such a strong personality, this girl is bold and straightforward, she takes no shit from anyone. There is also something relatable about the gross things she does, like liking her phone screen after she dropped food on it hdhsjsjd. She feels so real. I love her!

Honorable mention: Italian Eva, I am really fond of her.

Noora: I am going to pick Mia (Druck), just becaue I am currently watching her season. Maybe I will have another favourite once we get more versions of s2. But I love that she is flawed. Noora was a self insert and she lost most of her personality after s1, I hated what Julie did to her character. She was basically the perfect girl who does everything right. Mia is not like that. We saw her lying. We saw her making a lot of mistakes. Just look at the mess she caused lying to Kiki. I love the fact that she fucks up, again, she feels real and relatable. Also, we stan a bicon!

Honorable mentions: Liv (NL)-I can’t wait for her season and Eleonora.(IT) Btw remeber that iconic moment when Eva and Eleonora met? They radiate lesbian energy almost as powerful as their og counterparts.

Vilde: Daphné (FR) I have to admit that I haven’t watched skam france s1 and 2 entirely, but from what I’ve seen, I can tell that I love her. Firstly, the actress is doing an incredible job. And I live for her bubbly personality. She is a walking sunshine. I feel like the rude comments she made come from naivety, not from meanness, just like in Vilde’s case and as opposed to, let’s say, Kiki who seems unwilling to change. Also a lesbian!

Honorable mentions: Engel (NL) and Silvia (IT), sweethearts

Sana: hard choice. I’ll go with Amira (Druck) Her actress is just amazing. I can’t really explain it, but I am drawn to her every time she comes on screen. Remeber when she sang? What a talented queen! just love her a lot, I really hope we’ll get her season even though I am not so sure with the whole backpacking in Australia thing.

Honorable mentions because I can’t choose and they deserve all the love:

Amira (Spain) who is lovely and who seems to have a completely different story compared to our Sana. Imane (Fr)“I’ll kick both of your shins” who pulls out tampons to distract the teacher from weed trafficking. Iconic. And her frienship with Lucas is warming my heart. And Imaan (NL). This sweetheart held Engel’s hand in the ambulance and deserved more screentime.

Chris: I have more in mind, but let’s say Josefina from Skam Austin. A bilingual queen. She is so funny and cute. Remember how she said that when she eats broccoli she feels like a dinosaur eating a tree?😭😭😭 or when she offered to split the muffin for Megan. A sweetheart who deserves the world.

Honorable mentions: Alexia Martineau our French bicon, Cris (Spain) dare I say another bicon? Might have a tiny crush on her. And Janna.(NL) Okay they are all bi, moving on.

Boy squad.

Isak: I’ve been asked before and I can’t pick one. They all mean the world to me a gay teen. I just can’t pick between the boys, so I am going to go ahead and say Shay because I relate to her the most as a lesbian and I am dying to see her season.

But if you want me to choose a boy, maybe French Lucas, just because I am watching his season now and I am growing attached to him. I love this brave bean who went ahead and made the first move, starting a conversation with Eliott. Also he can play the piano, he put a spell on me, maybe that’s why I picked him🤧🤧🤧

Honorable mentions: All of them dghdjdj no, really: Martino, Matteo, Dutch and Spanish Lucas, they all own my heart.

Even: We only have two remakes of Even and you can’t possibly make me choose between Nico and Eliott, I can’t.

Jonas: I have to say Druck Jonas because he is the least assholish Jonas of all the remakes and him and Hanna are the only version of Eva × Jonas that I am rooting for. A talented king. “Got your nose” ugh he is the softest. And he is suffering so much from the break up ugh I need them to get back together.

Close tie with Gio who was an incredible friend to Martino, I loved loved their friendship.

Magnus and Mahdi: okay so here is a little complicated because in France’s case Basile and Arthur are original characters and Elia is also more like an original character, but yes I pick Arthur and Elia. But also Carlos who deserves more.

Long story short, this is the ultimate squad:

Girl Squad: Isa, Mia, Daphné, Amira, Josefina

Boy Squad: Fr!Lucas, Eliott (just bcs it feels wrong to put Nico here since I chose Lucas) Druck Jonas, Elia and Arthur.

#ask #anon #skam remakes #thank you for the ask #and if you got till the end you rock

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justadadonthenet · 7 years ago

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Loser’s Club as camp half blood kids hc

(These are terribly organized I’m so sorry, all under the cut)

Stan: deffo an Athena kid, look at that little logic man and tell me he’s not Athena. He would be extremely talented on the battle field but would rarely want to fight (besides, why do that when he could command his battalion in capture the flag) and he somehow befriended an owl in his third year at camp and it’ll do whatever he wants (including keeping richie in check)

Ben: also in the Athena cabin, but one of the softer of them. Always wins when they’re tasked with a building competition cause he actually reads up on what types of structures work best,,he would develop and design all of the Athena cabin weaponry and would specially design stuff for stanley. Their cabin is the coolest one because Ben is always reconstructing as needed, and it’s never too full because he has somehow developed a building that expands as needed, but only on the inside. This kid is fucking gifted.

Mike: Jesus imagine my boy mike as a Persephone kid that’s the cutest shit I’ve ever seen,,,persephone kids are almost as rare (if not more) than big three kids, so he lives in the Demeter cabin. the whole camp would adore him and the wood nymphs would love talking to this ~one~ boy because he has major respect for all parts of nature,, he would grow lil flowers to give to everyone and would make flower crowns for bev,,and although he is a little flower child he takes capture the flag VERY seriously if he’s up against his Losers. (The wood nymphs love doing favors for him such as tripping richie and taking bev’s sword right out of her hand)

Richie: holy fuck he would definitely end up head of the Hermes cabin (somehow) and he would be worse than the Stoll brothers combined,,,don’t ask how he managed to acquire a dildo tree or get a Trojan horse to camp without anyone noticing, he’s also ~conveniently~ part messenger god, which makes sending pranks to people even easier (also imagine the first time he tries to use the winged converse y i k e s there was definitely a face plant in there)

Bill: listen,,,,he would definitely be a Zeus kid if he wasn’t such an angery piece of shit,,, so you better believe he is one of the softest Hades kids to ever enter that camp,,,when he got bored he’d summon cool rocks and shit. As soon as he hears of Nico being able to summon the dead he pesters him into teaching him, learning extremely quickly how to summon spirits. Every once in a while the losers cant find bill, cause he’s sitting in a hidden cave he managed to create, talking to Georgie

Bev: listen my fiery girl would obviously be an Ares kid. She may be the nicest in the cabin, but you’re dead wrong if you think for a second she wouldn’t beat your ass if provoked. Her and Stan definitely have a friendly rivalry in capture the flag (or any battle-related activity, for that matter.) she loves her bf Ben but she can’t help but coaxing the latest Athena cabin weaponry plans out of him. Ben goes to mush as soon as Bev talks to him, and every thought he had of keeping the developments to the cabin goes out the door with one look into those eyes. Coincidentally, next week’s capture the flag battle is between Ares and Athena, and Ben is completely lost as to how the Ares cabin somehow had counter measures for all of their weaponry,, he’d been planning them for months, and had picked through all of the Ares cabin’s tactics previous to this, how did they know? Let’s just say stan was HEATED

Eddie: okay with an idiot of a boyfriend like richie (who constantly forgets where he sets up traps during capture the flag) eddie needs to be able to fix his boy. He may not seem like an Apollo boy other than the fact that he’s wicked good at being camp medic, but he’s getting pretty dialed in on his foresight (even though it only consistently reaches about an hour into the future.) still, this makes fixing up his idiots easier, as he knows exactly what to pack in his magic fanny pack (think Leo’s tool belt) before every capture the flag (even though he no longer needs it, after realizing that it wasn’t his drugs healing him but his own abilities). After LOTS of practice, Eds walks up to richie, touches his forehead, and richie fucking loses his shit because h o l y s h i t why is everything so blurry??? Before taking his glasses off and crying because everything is in focus

Also:

-bill and mike always help in developing the area for the capture the flag games and make sure it’s aesthetically pleasing, interesting, and different from the last time

-SHIT AND MIKE AND THE DEMETER CABIN MAKE CORN MAZE CAPTURE THE FLAG FOR FALL (complete with spooky scares from the grain nymphs)

-most of the hades kids come and go, so billiam is alone a lot in his cabin, making the hades cabin basically the loser’s cabin for sleepovers

-(bill also sleeps in the Athena cabin a lot cause of the immense space and his bf)

-Eds discovers his poetic abilities when sitting with Ben and trying to think of what to say to ask rich out

-Eds definitely also helps richie write songs

-richie is a large lanky boy but somehow kicks ass when they have track events (its one of the only places he doesn’t trip)

-his biggest threat? Billiam, aka lanky boy #2

-“it’s not fair, he can literally influence the track and make my lane turn into sand!” “S-step up your p-prank game, tozier”

-richie replaces bill’s shoes with some winged ones and Jesus Christ he’s never laughed as hard as he did when bill hit the side of the big house as soon as the race started

-eddie never really pursues his artistic abilities but one time rich has a bad night and sends Eds a message to meet him at the hades cabin (bill is with Stan) and he finds richie panicking over a nightmare so he starts singing to richie and holy shit richie was crying but not cause of his nightmare

-mike always brings flowers to the medics tent and brings some of each patients’ favorites to put at their bedside

-mr d cannot stand richies existence sometimes but all of that is forgotten when richie somehow gets him some ancient bottle of wine that d hasn’t seen in millennia

-whenever eddie sees richie’s laugh or smile the camp gets a lil brighter for a second

-sometimes mike goes and sits with bill while he’s talking to Georgie. He helped him with hiding bill’s little spot, can also (to an extent) contact the dead, and bill trusts him immensely. Bill loves the losers but most of the time he just wants to talk to Georgie alone. When he does invite the losers to come talk, they don’t go to bill’s spot

-I can’t help but imagining mike making all of the losers little flower crowns made of assorted flowers and all of them match the person

-richie has so many laurel wreaths from mike due to his immense list of track records

-they think bill was conceived while the gods were battling with their second self, because he was claimed by hades but has the ability to conjure metals and jewels like Pluto (which is super uncommon when you’re Greek)

-(of course he gets his bf’s cabin some of the best metals for weapons)

-richie somehow gets all of the Good Shit from the outside world into the camp. Nintendo switch? Stan buys it off of him the first day rich has it (along with all the Mario games that comes with it.) cigarettes? Him and Bev share those. Books from libraries across the world? Ben is still amazed as to how richie gets a hold of some of the Ancient Greek texts he sells him but he’s not complaining.

-Eds sometimes misses his boyfriends stupid glasses, so richie finds some hipster glasses and wears them sometimes

-sometimes Eds wishes he had better luck with curses bc sometimes his boyfriend needs to shut the fuck up

-richie and Bev live at camp year round, while bill and Ben often return home, eddie has to go home every break (no matter how short), and mike and stan only goes home on the really long ones

-mike also helps Eddie with finding certain medicinal herbs (richie of course finds the medical marijuana eddie is keeping hidden in his fanny pack)

-instead of “your mom” jokes richie now makes jokes relating to Percy (with only the occasional jokes about mrs k) because come on he’s now the camp mom

-“wait eddie this is so gross that we’re dating cause we’re related” “fuck off richie” “gives me more of a reason to date your mom”

-eddie always makes sure Bill gets enough sunlight,,,that kids depressed enough he needs some vitamin d

-Stan’s owl friend always watches the cabins during the night, and when he sees richie setting trip wires and such on the playing ground, alerts stan

-eddie teaches richie guitar, which he picks up on quickly. It’s one of the only things his Hermes dexterity applies to, and his lankiness gives him a little bit of an advantage

-reddie is the musical power couple that everyone loves during campfires, although Eddie objects every time until richie literally pulls him to the middle of the circle with Eddie on one knee and his guitar on the other

-they have WiFi thanks to richie

-richie sets up sensors on all the cabin doors on April first and the first door to be opened (bill’s) sets off speakers in all the cabins, blasting Africa by Toto at full bass and full volume

-let’s just say eddie didn’t talk to him for four days because WHY WOULD TOU DO TJAT RICHARD

-“wait bill can you have blue fire hair like hades in Hercules??” “Richie I s-swear to god”

-eddie purposely makes it sunny all the time cause he loves the way the sun shines in Rich’s hair and gives him lil freckles :,,,,)

-Ben appreciates the sun too because bev’s hair looks like fire and she gets so many freckles

-Percy stays at camp during breaks cause he knows how lonely it can get and it always helps for richie to have one more friend while most of his are gone

-he adopts richie cause he sees a little bit of himself in that little shithead (and he may use him to long-distance pester Jason with letters rigged to spew water at him as soon as he opens the envelope before pulling out a soggy piece of blue paper that says “hope you’re not missing us too much in California”)

-Annabeth ADORES Ben and Stanley, she basically adopts them as her kids cause Ben is an intelligent little softie and stan is equally intelligent (although in battle strategy rather than crafting)

-Ben loves it when annabeth visits cause he has someone to show his architectural plans to and help him revise them

-Ben gets SUPER good at architecture, so good in fact that he’s literally hired at age sixteen to help in construction in Olympus

-Hermes learned from his mistakes of neglecting his kids, and is sure as hell to visit and talk to richie and the others as often as he can, especially Richie because of his family history

-after the Athena cabin’s plan backfire, stan gets richie’s assistance in payback (he gets the Hephaestus cabin to create weapons that look exactly like the Ares cabins’, but turn into a mini metal figurine of richie doing finger guns as soon as the capture the flag buzzers go off)

-Bev has a rage in her eyes that hasn’t been seen since they defeated IT, and sweet sweet Ben has to hold her back and (try) to calm her down until bill can come in and make her pass out

-she wakes up kicking and screaming with her entire cabin giving up at blocking her from the door and parting like the Red Sea as soon as they see a red glow surrounding her

-this is the one time bill allows a third loser into his cave hiding place, as nobody knows where it is (he made richie pass out as well before taking him into the cave to protect him from the Wrath of Beverly)

-Bev finally calms down (eddie may have put that medical marijuana to use in some special tea he’s formulated)

-mike sometimes just goes and sits in the forest if he can’t sleep. He loves how it looks at night, and how many odd creatures are roaming around

-he meets Grover one night, and they instantly become great friends

-Grover figures out that one of the wood nymphs has a crush on mike, and plays match maker

-the losers notice mike going to the forest more frequently, and while walking back into camp, little patches of flowers grow in his footprints

-when they start dating, mike likes to make his girlfriend’s tree bloom, and changes the color and type of flower each time

-they’re adorable and everyone loves them

-he protects her tree with all costs, as its life is tied to hers

-mr d has definitely found richie in his underwear and a camp Jupiter shirt passed out on the steps of the big house at 6 in the morning, with Richie holding a bottle of fireball

-richie was put on pegasus shit duty for a week, and Eddie refused to rid him of his immense hangover

-somehow richie gets a cat into the camp, its the camp pet and rich always brings it into the med tent to cheer up injured and sickly kids

-the cat mainly lives there, but it goes to bill’s cabin a lot for peace and quiet

-listen,,, the cat would totally have some horrible name that richie makes up like mr noodles and mr d would be so confused as to who mr noodles could be

-Ben my sweet boy and Stanley sometimes sit with mike in the forest during the day. Mike and stan watch the birds, and Ben reads more of the books rich has smuggled in

-richie tozier makes it his goal to get as many aphrodite kids after him as possible (eddie acts like he hates it but knows his idiot would never leave him)

-literally half the Aphrodite cabin is in love with him, and the other half isn’t interested in guys

-richie gets mike to give him assortments of flowers, and brings them to Eddie in the medics tent every morning

-it’s basically like an alarm cause every day, without fail, the sun will shine a little too brightly at 8 am

If you took the time to read all this you’re a Saint and I appreciate you

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maksisskambackwards · 8 years ago

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Im sick of all the toxicnoorhelm posts. Im not a William stan, but I am a JULIE stan and reading all the “Julie fucked up"s really rubs me the wrong way.

So this is a season 2 recap focusing on the noorhelm plot (ive obviously forgotten stuff so feel free to ad on).

E1:

texts from William telling Noora she looks good in that sweater - she covers up

William texting and calling Vilde to make sure Noora attends his party or goes on a date with him

E2:

Noora goes on a date with W and treat him coldly. He argues against her and make a few valid points, treats her decently and calls her out on her behaviour. He does not make a good enough argument when it comes to his treatment of Vilde.

When the date ends he assures Noora shes of the hook. (Noora looks disappointed?)

E3:

Noora goes to Williams party when she hears that Vilde is upset. (She changes and put on lipstick first). When Vilde isnt there and Eva leaves with her stuff she borrowes Ws phone and talks to Eskild and LIES TO WILLIAM TELLING HIM SHE NEEDS TO SPEND THE NIGHT. (This is a tipping point cuz now Noora is the one manipulating the situation).

E4:

Easter at the cabin.

E5:

William promise to give some of the money from the "Help the Penetrators” to syrian refugees if Noora attend the party. Rumour says someones gonna pay a lot to make out with William. Nooras first respons is to suspect him paying in her name to make out with her. (That doesnt happen). She confronts W and he tells her to be honest. If she doesnt like him he’ll leave her alone. She says she doesnt and W leaves. NOORA runs after him, NOORA kisses him.

E6:

N tells W (in a obvious flirty way) that shes gonna wait till shes married to have sex. W states that then theyll just have to get married.

Enter Nico and bad communication. W refuses to introduse N to his brother because hes recovering from a bad brakeup. N gets suspicious after rumours in the schoolyard saying Nicos single and sleeping around. Vilde gets N doubting Ws fidelity since hes russ.

E7:

N wants the relationship to stay secret. They party on the bus. The fight happens and W brakes a bottle over another guys head. N leaves.

E8:

N and W discuss violence as a solution and they express very different views. N admits to Sana that shes in love and that Ws becoming the most important thing in her life. Sana calls Noora out on her need to be right ( thats not the same as saying Noora should give up her own opinions, just that she needs to make room for others than her own and that its okey to change your opinion if someone has convincing arguements). N workes things out with Vilde and goes to W to work things out with him. Nico lies, N drinks and she passes out.

E9:

N shuts everybody out obsessing over what might have happened. She feels overwhelmed at school and locks herself in her room. W shows up, comforts her and validates her feelings and help her rest. He finishes her article and DOESNT OPEN FACEBOOK WHEN SHE GETS NOTIFICATIONS.

E10:

N opens up to the girls. N confronts Nico. W asks if she slept with his brother and she answeres “I dont know”. W (is clearly hurt and) leaves. Later Noora text him telling him she doesnt remember what happened. AND WILLIAM DOESNT ANSWER. This is the shitty moment where he didnt step up when he should.

E11:

N and W finally talk and he comes back after pretending to leave/changing his mind about leaving. Lots of happy cuddling and Noora trying to take things further and W holding back.

E12:

N and W back at the appartment. N pushing for things to go further, W holding back. Police interegations. W admitting to the violence (even if everybody INCLUDING NOORA told him to lie). Party at Ws and NOORA INITIATING SEX.

Conclusion: both do questionable stuff. Both fuck up. Both suck at communication. Both are flawed human beings just like everybody we meet exactly like Skam try to teach us every episode! And the no redemption arc for W argument - read the article he wrote for Noora. Thats his redemption.

#skam #skam season 2 #noorhelm #noora sætre #william

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yahoo-puck-daddy-blog · 7 years ago

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Winners and Losers of NHL Draft 2017

CHICAGO – The 2017 NHL Draft weekend in Chicago has come to an end. There were some stunning trades. There were some interesting picks in a tricky draft. There were winners and there were losers, at least in a hasty first glance.

Let’s start with the obvious: The New Jersey Devils won the lottery, and hence are an automatic winner in selecting Nico Hischier at No. 1, for he loves to hockey.

But what about the rest of the weekend in the Windy City? Here’s how Puck Daddy saw the winners and losers:

WINNER: Gary Bettman

The commissioner has basically become a wrestling heel at the NHL Draft, knowing his very presence will draw heat from the crowd. But Bettman took it to another level in Chicago: At one point, with the boos during his opening remarks present but tepid, Bettman told the crowd “c’mon, you can do better than that.” And the floodgates of jeers opened. He’s become self-aware! This is dangerous!

LOSER: Fun In General

Holy [expletive] was that tedious. Brief, but tedious. The big Chicago moves happened hours before the draft. There weren’t rumors flying on Day One, of the “OMG THOSE GMs ARE TALKING!” variety. Little drama, even less intrigue. The most exciting thing that happened in the first round was when Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane showed up on stage for the Blackhawks. Yes, the most exciting thing involved Jonathan Toews. That’s all you need to know.

WINNER: Cales and Coles

Big weekend for Cales. You have Cale Makar, going to the Colorado Avalanche at No. 4. And Cale Fleury, gong at No. 87 to the Montreal Canadiens. Then you had Kale Howarth going at No. 148 to the Columbus Blue Jackets, and that kid better have some sick salad in the NHL.

Oh, but let’s not sleep on Coles! There was Cole Fraser at No. 131 to the Detroit Red Wings and Cole Hults at No. 134 to the Los Angeles Kings and Cole Guttman to the Tampa Bay Lightning at No. 180. Big weekend for Coles, too.

LOSER: D’Artagnans

Alas, D’artagnan Joly, taken at No. 171 by the Calgary Flames, was in fact the only D’artagnan elected in the 2017 NHL Draft. Try harder, parents of Canada.

WINNER: Finland Blue

Finland had an impressive draft, continuing to trend upward as a hockey power. The Finns had 14 players selected, including No. 2 overall pick Patrik Laine. In 2017, they had 23 players selected, including six in the first round and six in the second, which was a record for Finland. Somewhere, Teemu smiles.

LOSER: The Green Room

Eh, sometimes you try something new and it doesn’t click. The NHL went with a Green Room for the draft like the NBA, keeping some of the top prospects there instead of in the stands. The previous format produced better moments and nothing close to the cringe moment that was Klim Kostin being stuck in that room to the bitter end:

Klim Kostin there's a tech guy in the back wrapping up cables. don't do this stupid green room idea again @NHL lol pic.twitter.com/EC256MLoA5

— kms davis (@blueorangesign) June 24, 2017

He would go at No. 31 to the St. Louis Blues.

Speaking of which …

WINNER: St. Louis Blues

The Blues wanted Jori Lehtera and his two years at $4.7 million annually the heck off their cap. Vegas didn’t take him. So they went the trade route, and pulled off a coup: Dealing him to the Philadelphia Flyers with the No. 27 overall pick and a conditional first-round pick for Brayden Schenn.

Then they traded Ryan Reaves, a fourth line enforcer, to the Pittsburgh Penguins along with the No. 51 pick for Oskar Sundqvist and the No. 31 pick, which they used on Kostin, the No. 1-rated skater among European players by the NHL’s Central Scouting who slid down the draft board due to an injury.

Meanwhile, they snagged Robert Thomas, a playmaking center from OHL London, at No. 20, and had a strong draft after that.

LOSER: Jim Rutherford

He traded a first-round pick and a roster player for a 30 year old that plays less than nine minutes a game, is a fighter in a league with no fights anymore and is Ryan Reaves. If there wasn’t so much goodwill built up for Rutherford, this would be Zac Rinaldo Trade 2.0.

But hey, at least now with an enforcer on the roster, the Penguins can finally challenge for the Stanley Cup.

WINNER: Stan Bowman

Cap strapped and contractually obligated, the Chicago Blackhawks general manager got creative and aggressive to get better in the short term and really set up his team in the long term. Getting Brandon Saad gives them cost certainty for four years and could reenergize Jonathan Toews. And talking to people here, there’s a lot of love for the Connor Murphy acquisition. They have to make the Marian Hossa money disappear, and Patrick Kane needs a new linemate – Alex DeBrincat? – but Bowman did well here.

LOSER: Detroit Red Wings

The consensus weakest draft of 2017, for a team that can’t afford a dud. They had the quantity, but not the quality:

Michael Rasmussen was a reach at No. 9, an attempt by Ken Holland to find his Holmstrom or Franzen 2.0 at a time when the League’s going smaller and more skilled. As for the rest of the draw, everyone we pestered about “who had the worst draft?” inevitably circled back to what the Red Wings did. As Scott Wheeler put it:

The worst draft of the weekend, by a landslide, belongs to the Red Wings (relative to my ranking). Keith Petruzzelli the only good pick.

— Scott Wheeler (@scottcwheeler) June 24, 2017

That’s about what was said here in Chicago as well.

WINNER: Vegas Golden Knights

Look, when you have 12 picks, including five in the first two rounds, you’re bound to find some players. What GM George McPhee and his scouting staff did was exceed expectations. Centers Cody Glass and Nick Suzuki were absolute coups in the first round. Erik Brannstrom of Sweden could end up being a Torey Krug type. Their later picks were admirable too. Really strong first class for the Knights.

LOSER: Jim Benning, Poker Player

Please note that the Vancouver Canucks had a really strong draft overall, including a potential goalie of the future in Mike DiPietro in the third round. But as the story goes here in Chicago: Vegas wanted Cody Glass. They were prepared to trade up from No. 6 to get him. The top four picks were all standing pat. Benning and the Canucks were at No. 5. Golden Knights GM George McPhee said he was going to flip a second round pick for that flip-flop of firsts, but discovered he didn’t need to when he was literally told who Vancouver was drafting at No. 5. (One assumes by Vancouver.) So he knew Glass would be there at six, and kept his second-rounder. The art of negotiation, folks.

WINNER: This Shirt

LOSER: That Nameplate

Rough start to Tippett’s Panthers career pic.twitter.com/J3YvNDCM3U

— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) June 24, 2017

WINNER: Philadelphia Flyers

While we don’t love Lehtera, getting two first rounders in that Schenn swap is a ridiculously good return. They used the one in this draft on Morgan Frost at No 27, who has playmaking skills if not exactly love for the Flyers. In Nolan Patrick at No. 2, they get the second best forward in the draft and a better goal scorer than the guy who went No. 1. The aggressive trade to select Isaac Ratcliffe at No. 35, the Matthew Strome pick at No. 106 … just a really great two days from Ron Hextall and company.

LOSER: Matt Duchene

The Colorado Avalanche center continues to live in limbo, as no one stepped up to make a trade for him and now Joe Sakic is making noise that Duchene may be back with the Avalanche next season.

WINNER: Small Guys

Players like Tyler Johnson and Johnny Gaudreau have made the world safe for those of smaller stature, as eight players in the first two rounds were 5-foot-10 or shorter. In the case of Kailer Yamamoto, taken by the Edmonton Oilers at No. 22, he was the shortest player ever drafted in the first round at 5-foot-7 and three quarters.

LOSER: Artemi Panarin

The winger put up incredible numbers in his first two NHL seasons on Patrick Kane’s line, breaking 30 goals in each season. At last check, Patrick Kane is not on the Columbus Blue Jackets. (And for the Jackets, they go from Saad making $6 million for four years to Panarin making $6 million for the next two years before free agency.)

WINNER: New York Islanders

Credit where it’s due with Garth Snow. Getting Jordan Eberle for Ryan Strome was a strong move to bolster the Islanders’ offense. And while dealing defenseman Travis Hamonic to the Calgary Flames will impact the defense, getting back first and second-round picks in 2018 and a second rounder in either 2019 or 2020 is the kind of haul that can net even more top six talent to play around John Tavares.

LOSER: New York Rangers

Along with the Red Wings, the team most frequently mentioned in the ‘WTF?’ category for its draft performance. Lias Andersson at No. 7 (acquired in the Derek Stepan trade with Arizona) was a total reach for a player whose primary upside appears to be a chance to get to the NHL rather soon. Two North Americans among seven picks, a collection of gambles and head-scratches according to the punditry on site.

WINNER: Arizona Coyotes

The first part of the week, everyone was wondering what the hell was going on with the Coyotes, after they bungled the departure of both Shane Doan and coach Dave Tippett. But then they traded for Niklas Hjalmarsson, Derek Stepan and Antti Raanta, had a strong draft, and GM John Chayka was back to boy genius status.

LOSER: Eight Year Contracts For 30-Year-Olds

Locking up T.J. Oshie for $5.75 million against the cap is just dandy. He’s proven he can work in a top line role, does a lot of really good things for you and is a generally pleasant person to be around.

T.J. Oshie at 30 years old for $5.75 million over eight years is … vomit. Consider some of the other names recently making that level of cap hit on long-term deals: Patrick Sharp, Dustin Brown, Brandon Dubinsky, Ryan Callahan and Andrew Ladd. That’s a lot of regret there.

But this is a great contract if your owner already knows there are going to be compliance buyouts in the next lockout.

Who were your winners and losers in the draft?

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Greg Wyshynski is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at [email protected] or find him on Twitter. His book, TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PUCK, is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.