#but technically it counts as a wip okay leave me alone

[wellthatschaotic]

hi! i'm going to Sleep but are there any like. environments/biomes (idk if that's the right word) that don't exist irl? (ik its not the same thing but in my wip there's like. enchanted forests where a bunch of fucked up shit happens and i kinda want to learn abt other things people have??) (this is abt your parascom (?? spelling) in case its' not answered right away)

hope taht wording makes sense, i've taken my melatinin already and its Kicking IN

kdljsklfs hope you have a Good Sleep!!! and YES

we also do have Fucked Up Forests(TM) AND in multiple flavors!! you got the. "fucking annoying pixie forests" (<- direct quote from alisha) (i think theyre actually called sparkling forests). the whispering forest. the dead forest.

sparkling forest: as you can tell from alisha's. quaint description. that's where pixies live. they're very colorful and bubbly and. well. children's fantasy esque. do not be fooled because "the pixies are SO fucking annoying you think it'd be a nice place for a picnic but NO you turn away for ONE SECOND and your sandwich is GONE and theres a little pink PEST fuckin GIGGLING at you" (pulls alisha away from the keyboard). there are also creatures that are Very Cute but . Very Sharp. so uhhh be careful

whispering forest: one of my favorites tbh. it's like. Far Away from other societies? on the border of The Worlds- okay so imagine a venn diagram right. one circle is earth one circle is etheria one circle is asteria etc (those are our 3 main dimensions(?) so theyre the example). the whispering forest is like right on one of the the borders of etheria/asteria but technically in etheria but also like at a point nemo super far from Everything place (not an island but you get it right) (also i could go in more depth about the world connections if you want!!)

ANYWAY back to the forest. it's Dark and Spooky and...telepathic. it's where spirit elves & spirit foxes live (theres other wildlife but not like. sentient ones) who are both telepathic species. they speak different telepathic languages(?) though but can learn each other's. they can't really. speak out loud? their vocal chords and mouth structure just aren't made for that. the trees are also telepathic-y but in like a plant way so it's not like full thoughts its telepathic Vibes. and if you're not used to telepathy and you go there hearing the wind whistle through the trees combined with the Vibe Of Telepathy sounds very eerily like people whispering bc your brain is trying to make sense of what it's. Vibing. which is why it's called the whispering forest. and also why no one outside of it really goes in

the dead forest: it's. uh. dead. but alive? i don't think anyone truly remembers what happened to it but some sort of Magic Nuclear Fallout left everything dead-looking but just barely alive And Wants You Dead. as in look that tree's just sticks Oh Fuck Them Branches Are Coming For Me. there are even zombie/skeleton creatures held together mostly by magic that also Want To Get You. so.

oh also asteria is Mostly Forest (yknow how this world is Mostly Ocean?) and it's just. alien. like forests here can have big trees right? okay so like triple that. them trees BIG. and almost all the wildlife have white spots on them that can appear to glow in the dark (to human eyes). the plants too can generate light for human eyes but the normal light sources (sun, fire) generate light that humans can't pick up or generate very very little. so humans and (moon) elves evolved to see different light spectrums. which is pretty cool

hmm what other fucked up biomes do we have. well there's living islands. they're actually Creatures that float along and like. yknow how some turtles and stuff grow moss on their back? that but so big that it's like a whole ass island. not sure if that really counts as a biome? thankfully they're not usually predatory but if you hurt it. well. earthquake + raising sharp spines. it will not go well. so usually just leave them alone just in case

those are off the top of my head that aren't like. Earth Biomes But With Fantasy Creatures. ig weird shit also happens where the world borders are thin/collide but i wouldn't really count that as a biome.

might make another post about the worlds and how they interact if anyone is interested-

[starlit-hopes-and-dreams]

Writer Q&A

Thanks for the tag, @clairelsonao3 <3

Template below the cut.

I don't know who's already been tagged in this one, so uh, Open Tag? 😅

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

Writing a book and having the balls to send it out for beta reads (well, I mean, the alcohol helped, a lot, but same difference, right? lol)

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

About writing? Uhhh. No, I really can't think of anything. I've had opinions on my writing re: they didn't agree with my choices, but I don't really consider that a question.

What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

Fav: Plucking my little ideas from my head, throwing them on page, and then having people actually enjoy them :D

Not fav: plots. editing plots. plots are evil. why they gotta make sense and shit? unfair. 😂

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

There's a certain catharsis to beating the shit out of someone. I don't know what, but uh. yeah lol. I'm sure there's something else, but it's been a week, and this is what I've got right now.

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

Write for YOU.

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

☝ Also, not to worry so much about "craft". I'm not a technical writer, I'm an intuitive one. I spent a lot of time dithering about bc I felt like bc I didn't know "craft", what I wrote wasn't valid. I bought craft books and couldn't make myself read them.

What is your favorite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

I haven't written very much 😅 I like shattered soul more than shattered dreams (wip intro), but it isn't finished yet.

And I really like my hidden depths AU, but does that even count? XD

What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

My... what? Like, a think outside the box thing? I don't really do quotes, tbh.

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

Okay, but controversial in what way? XD

Guess I'll go with the morally gray oc's, Carr and Nykim. I guess irl (and technically their world, too), it would be frowned upon to kill people, let alone play with their prey before doing so. Even if they've done bad things and "deserve it" lol

Personally, I can't really say. These are fictional people in a world that doesn't exist. Their behavior is not compatible with IRL scenarios, so I can't and won't pass judgement on them.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

Younger me was three years ago, so uh. lol. I suppose younger me would be impressed I actually managed to stick to a plot line and finish the book I was struggling so much with.

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

What is your favorite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

[xavantina]

I am so very bad at actually doing these things, but I was tagged by the lovely and talented @gavotteangel, so I finally got off my butt and went to town.

Fanfic Writer 20 Questions!

1. how many works do you have on ao3? A measly 31. But in my defense, I’m ancient, so I have posted at least twice as many on LiveJournal back in the day.

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 162,236  

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Six are represented on AO3, including a mix of various RPF fandoms, Hannibal, Law and Order: SVU, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and recently Loki. But back in my teenage years I wrote fic in the Lord of the Rings fandom, Harry Potter, and as I got older even more diverse RPF, mostly centered around US political media and, uh... Top Gear. Look, I have a past, okay, leave me alone.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Assemble, a lighthearted, non-graphic-but-still-very-shippy Marvel RPF

As Loud as the Hell You Want, smutty Will Graham/Frederick Chilton

The Ties That Bind, a Barisi soulmate AU

Arrest Me - another Barisi fic, this one smutty

Young Police Cadet Bottoms for Busty Blonde - a Carisi/Amaro (and Carisi/OFC) porn fic where I’m actually super proud of the title. it really sets the tone 😂

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not? Almost always. If you took the time to comment, I will take the time to say thank you. Especially when I get the really juicy comments, like those that quote favourite lines and stuff. I love those comments, they’re so helpful!

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I’m really bad at following through on angst, I wrap that shit up with a vaguely happy ending. That said, Control You is pretty bad. It’s also locked, because I lock RPF religiously. kill them; kill them with fire is technically still a WIP, so it doesn’t count, although it’s some of the angstiest fic I’ve written.

7. do you write crossovers? Not so much these days, but I used to

8. have you ever received hate on a fic? Oh yes, before the US Pundit fandom hid all the RPF away in secret, thoroughly locked LJ communities, there were some pretty ugly instances of hate going around.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? Ahahaha, yes, I do. 23 of those 31 fics are rated E. And it was the same back on LJ.

10. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know.

11. have you ever had a fic translated? I’ve received requests for a couple of fics to be translated into Russian. I gave my permission, but I have no idea if they followed through with it.

12. have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes. Way back when I was 18 I had a 42 year old BFF from California who shared my brand of absurd humour and we co-wrote a sprawling 20K+ Pundit RPF comedy zombie AU, where we took turns writing the chapters as we went along, playing off what the other person had written in the previous chapter. I was a great experience, like the fic equivalent of improv comedy groups. An entire story based on ‘yes, and...’ as a concept.

13. what’s your all-time favorite ship? I can’t possibly answer that question, I’m a bit of a whore in this respect. I mix and match. Although judging from my AO3 account it’s ChillyWilly and Barisi, and it’s true that I love those ships.

14. what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? kill them; kill them with fire probably. It’s a ASOUE Zombie AU with stand-alone chapters focusing on different characters in different locations, but in a vaguely chronological order. Can you tell that I adore zombie AUs? Anyway, I was very proud of this one, because this particular zombie apocalypse is totally “realistic” in-universe. It takes an existing killer-fungus danger and replaces ‘certain death’ being the result of infection with ‘zombies’ being the result. So yes, it’s The Last of Us-style “zombies”. I actually stole the terminology from there as well, because I couldn’t be bothered with creating too much lore. I never care about the actual zombie horror anyway, I care about the human reaction to a deadly crisis. 

15. what are your writing strengths? A writer I admired very much in ye olden days once told me that I was good at blending genres and moods organically, in those day it was combinations of action, humour, and smut. She then asked me, me, for advice on a fic. I still think about that every single time I feel down.

16. what are your writing weaknesses? Definitely a tendency for overly detailed, flowery, self-indulgently elaborate prose. I spent years forcing myself to use a plain ‘said’ more often, because God knows I struggled with the concept from the beginning. And commas. So many commas. I often joke that Ernest Hemingway would fucking deck me if he was alive and reading my stuff. Oscar Wilde would you rather discuss writing with? Case closed.

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? I think it’s fine in controlled doses, especially if you consult native speakers to confirm that google translate isn’t about to make you look really silly to native speakers of the language in question.

18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for? Lord of the Rings, I think? At least in English. I was 14 when the first film came out, so it was around then. It was really bad. English is my second language, and my grammar... left something to be desired. Okay, technically I wrote fic for The Hobbit first, because our teacher was pretty cool when it came to assigning various writing challenges, and in this case he made us all write fanfic that should be a twist on the pretty anticlimactic (according to him) ending of the book. I proceeded to literally kill off half the dwarves in a gruesome Smaug-fight. Very indiscriminately, I might add. Completely random. Just piling up dead, scorched dwarves for shits and giggles.

19. what’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written? Okay, bear with me here, but I’m just really proud of Young Police Cadet Bottoms for Busty Blonde. Probably the smuttiest smut I’ve ever written. I enjoyed every second of the writing process, I had a wonderful time, and it lives up to its title in terms of balls to the wall PWP insanity.  A Guide to Recognizing Your Ghosts and Unfortunate Living Arrangements are also up there, because I’m still a Chilton fangirl at heart.

20. who do you tag? all of my old ASOUE peeps! @beatricebidelaire, @virginian-wolfsnake, @kitsnicket etc. etc. You know who you are.

[danpuff-ao3]

Project(s): Fanfiction..and meta!

Worked on:

HP Astro (series)

The Making of (series)

Miscellaneous meta

Swap (dropped)

Dralbus feat. Snarry

Devotion

Challenges:

Deadlines. Working on a deadline is never good for me. I ended up dropping a few fests.

Illness & injury. A combination of medication changes, stress, exhaustion, and overexertion led to me feeling very unwell fairly often.

Mental health. My anxiety levels are truly horrendous. I faced the 1 year anniversary of leaving my old fandom group. My ex stepmother (who I had a complicated relationship with) died. Work stress and expectations. Loneliness.

Insecurity/Imposter Syndrome. That's always the biggest hurdle. Not smart enough, or interesting enough, or talented enough. Too open, too vulnerable. Why am I doing this? Who do I think I am?

Dralbus has been over a year in the making. It's connected to one of many dramas with old friends. Any progress in this has been hard won. It's hard not to feel haunted by the past when I sit with this work. It feels tainted. But I'm determined to finish it all the same. One way or another, however long it takes!

Devotion. Ah, my passion project. With this I've faced not only having to return to Contempt to make sure everything aligns, but also worries that adding a companion piece/sequel to my pride and joy will ruin it. Oh and: caring way too much, being too invested, being too into it, etc.

Thanksgiving...cuz oh yeah, there was a holiday. And holidays = stress.

Accomplishments:

Therapy! Okay technically I started therapy a month or two or so ago, but I've continued going, and I've talked about fandom/writing with my therapist.

Calling it quits! aka, I dropped some fests when I realized I couldn't complete them without a whole lot of sacrifice. (Thanks to the friends that talked sense into me.) I have a hard time accepting defeat and letting go. But I managed! (With minimal beating myself up.)

Daily writing! I wrote every single day. My lowest word count in a day was 127 words. My highest word count in a day was 7,137 words. Not too shabby, I think!

Completed NaNoWriMo for the 4th year in a row! And for the 4th year in a row: I surpassed the 50k goal! I hit 50k on Day 12. (actually I hit the halfway mark by Day 12, oops! But still!)

Celebrating ALL progress! I have a bad habit of feeling like a failure if I don't accomplish what I set out to do, regardless of what I do accomplish along the way. Letting myself count meta work towards my word count has gone a long way in mending that mindset. I didn't get as much work towards fic done as I wanted, but I still wrote a lot of words! And I chose to be happy about it.

Leaning into my passions! Another happy effect of allowing myself to count meta work was that I was able to focus on subjects/projects I was most enthused about! I feel so much pressure all the time to be super productive. It was so freeing to let myself have fun. To set aside all my well laid plans and pull out my astrology books instead!

Sharing WIPs! I am so ultra paranoid about giving too many details about in-progress works. Let alone letting people read my rough drafts! But I've done both. I've shared the roughest of drafts with friends. And I've spoken more openly about my unpublished works.

...oh hey I mentioned progress, right? I wrote a lot. I also brainstormed a lot. Not to mention all the non-writing progress I've made. My partner and I are decluttering/rearranging our apartment. I'm learning self-care. I'm working on my mental health (therapy and meds, hoorah!) Also I've done hella baking. Many pumpkin loafs. Many cookies.

Improved relationship with creating. Once I get this last fest wrapped up (and this one I'm not dropping!), no more fests for me. As fun as it's been, it's better for my mental health and my creativity to work with lower pressure. It's important to remember that I write out of love and passion, so I need to focus on what I most love and am most passionate about. Not what I need to do. Not what other people want from me, or expect. Step by step I'm going back to writing for the pure joy of it.

Ending: 11/30/22, 2:34 PM.

Ending Count: 74,484

NaNoWriMo 2022

Goal: 50,000 words

Project: Fanfiction

Plan to work on:

Devotion

smile with sweet surprise, chapter 3

Swap fic

Hoggwartyxmas fic

Dralbus fic

Aim: to write what I love and what inspires me.

Starting: 11/1/22, 7:45 AM

Starting Count: 0 words

Note to self: If I don't succeed, I will not beat myself up. It's okay if I can't finish. This is meant to be fun. With luck this will keep me focused and on task. With luck, I'll have at least one complete work. But if I don't, that's okay. I will take care of myself above all else!

Note to friends: if anyone else is participating, good luck! May the muses stay with you to the end!

[marshmellowtea]

i didn’t get very far but while i was waiting i did start writing that fic idea i had

[thenextchapter22]

PART SIX!!

Description: You were an Angel who went to the human world to escape punishment for loving Lucifer only to be brought back into his life, this time in the Devildom where you pretend to be human.

In this chapter: You are back at the HOL...

Tags: Unrequited Love, Fluff, Angst, WIP

Pairing(s): Lucifer/Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Link to my AO3: Click Here

Authors Note: It’s been a month and my hiatus is over now, so please enjoy this next part!! Love you guys so much ~~

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

_+_

Being back in the House of Lamentation was a little strange. After a few extra days at Diavolo’s in that admittedly larger bedroom than yours, Lucifer had taken you back home. He bid you a quick farewell, a single hug and hair ruffling with his smirk, before he said he had duties to attend to. And things seemed back to normal with that. It was a little anticlimactic but…

Home. This was your home. Lord Diavolo gave you, an Angel (and were you still technically one, without your halo? Only wings and some leftover magic?), permission to live in the Devildom. A place for Demons, not… you. He called you ‘family’. Even Barbatos, when leaving the Castle, had smiled at you and given you a happy goodbye and an invite to tea whenever you’d like.

“Your company is always welcome,” the demon butler had said.

You stood just outside your doorway, as if turning the handle would transport you somewhere else. Maybe this was a dream. It was all too surreal to have actually happened.

Once you were inside, barely two steps in the bedroom, an invisible weight lifted off you. This was where you spent your nights, either totally alone and at peace, or with your housemates to keep you company. Studying with Satan or reading a novel and talking about the characters while sitting in your bed, or watching DevilTube with Mammon and laughing at the rom-coms because he was a sucker for those. If Asmo came back late from a party or if he was lonely and needing cuddles, you both would stay up late gossiping about everyone, and you would hear funny stories about Solomon or the brothers. When Levi would come out of his cave, and bring his handheld games, and you would battle each other for hours (you usually won only a few times but it was still fun). Eating midnight snacks you and Beel snuck out from the kitchen, waking up with crumbs in your bed and a different demon boy in your bed, Belphie, who was cuddling you and mumbling in his sleep, warm and soft, like the twins had traded you off.

The only demon brother who never came in your room was Lucifer… That man was always in his own bedroom, up late doing paperwork or wandering around doing things for Diavolo. He overworked himself constantly.

You smiled, recalling the first time you had ventured in his bedroom at night to give him some coffee and poison apples to snack on. He was grateful for it, and he smiled with crinkles in his eyes and warmth radiating from him, and he thanked you. It was one of your best moments here, with him. A small one, but still perfect.

“You’re back!!”

You jumped in surprise as your legs were attacked and you very nearly fell over. Your train of thought vanished immediately. Looking down, then seeing the mop of blonde, you realized it was just Luke.

He was a sweet Angel, still learning and growing, and he had a heart of gold. Sometimes he was a bit sensitive to the demon brothers teasing (mostly Mammon’s). It was funny to watch him get all flustered and red-faced when that happened and insult back to the best he of his abilities.

“Hi Luke,” you greeted, returning his hug. “I’m happy to see you.”

He grinned up at you, head just reaching mid-level, his chin resting on your abdomen. “I missed you. Are you feeling better? Simeon told me everything and I’m so excited to hear you’re an Angel just like us! You have to tell me all about when you lived in the Celestial Realm, please?”

Simeon chuckled from behind Luke, tugging him away gently. “Let’s leave her alone while she gets settled back in, okay? We can visit another time. We came to see Lucifer.”

Luke pouted, but sighed and nodded. He took your hand and squeezed it once. “I want to hear all about it, okay?” he asked with determination.

That was Luke, always adamant and cute. You smiled and ruffled his hair, the youngest Angel huffing. “I promise I will, Luke.”

Simeon waved goodbye, shutting the door behind him, and that left you alone in your little room. You fell onto your bed face first and inhaled deeply, rolling on your side and clutching a pillow to your chest.

Now what would happen? Things seemed to be returning to normal, but would everything?

A knock. “Are you in there Angel girl?” Belphegor’s voice came through the door.

You were a little nervous to see him, but he was the last demon brother you’d thought you’d see first. Seeing as he was usually asleep somewhere.

But when you opened the door, it wasn’t only Belphie. It was all of the brothers, minus Lucifer, and they had wide silly smiles on their faces. And then they tackled you in hugs, squeezing you and overwhelming you with their tight holds and back rubs. You just laughed and let them, knowing they probably had been worried about you after all.

“Guys—please, guys stop! I can’t breathe,” you laughed, shoving at the arms and torsos around you. Once you were free, you stepped back and smiled. Seeing all of their happy faces had your insides twisting in joy. “I missed you guys so much, it’s good to see every one of you.”

Mammon spoke first. “Damn right! We’ve been totally freaked out about you. We-well, I-I mean, I haven’t been losing sleep or anything, but they all kept asking Lucifer where you were and when you’re gonna come back. Ch, losers.” His face was flushed when he finished. Why was this white-haired demon so damn cute when he was trying to not care, you would never know the reason.

“I lost no sleep,” Belphie stated.

You chuckled. Typical Belphegor. “Well, I am sorry for worrying everyone…” You frowned, and looked at the floor. There was that inner voice telling you that even if they were all here and hugging you, it was still possible for them to dislike you for lying, hiding this entire time. “But… You don’t… hate me?”

Asmo gasped. “No, dear, we don’t hate you at all! We love you!”

That made you tear up a little bit, and Asmo cooed and hugged you. Mammon grumbled and Asmo gave you one last squeeze then let you go. Your face was a little bit red but only from the embarrassment of nearly crying when being told you were loved.

“How could we hate you? You’re still you,” Beel said.

Satan agreed. “Yes, exactly. Only now you have wings and magic we didn’t know about. You’ll have to show us sometime, I’ve never seen an Angel’s wings in person, only in textbooks. It makes sense why your grades in Celestial History are on par with my own.”

You smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, well… only up until a certain point…”

Satan chuckled. “Yes, I suppose that is true. I do want to see your wings, but we were told you’re still healing so there’s no rush.”

“Yes, we want to see them too, darling~”

“The Great Mammon should get first look.”

Waving your hands to calm them down, you nodded and agreed. “Okay, I promise I’ll show you eventually. But like Satan said I do have to take it easy for a while.”

You were planning on going for a midnight fly session tonight, though… But that was a secret that you felt comfortable keeping, like a small white lie. Hopefully no one would find out.

There was one demon who hadn’t said a word, in fact he barely hugged you like the others did. Leviathan. He was quietly standing in the doorway, fidgeting on the balls of his feet, probably waiting for his turn to say something but too shy to speak up.

“Levi? Do you have anything you want to tell me?”

He jumped in surprise, but nodded after a moment. His face flushed and he fumbled with his hands, he usually did that when he didn’t have a phone or device in them. “I-I just want to say… Please don’t ever ever EVER leave us again. I don’t know what I’d do without my midnight gaming buddy. And, well, I just—I love you, okay? You’re my Henry and you aren’t allowed to leave like that!” He was flustered when he finished and avoided eye contact with everyone.

The other boys ‘aw’ed and you smiled in happiness. It was incredible to know that no one hated you for hiding this from them.

“I won’t ever leave you, Levi.”

That was a promise you hoped to keep. These 6 demon boys here were family, your own siblings, and you loved them and all of their weird quirks.

“Hm, I want to ask you something,” Beel’s voice rang out.

Oh no, this was it. The dreaded questioning. They would want to know everything, why you left, where you were, why you lied. And you didn’t know if you had to courage to speak up.

“How did we not remember you?”

Oh thank the Heaven’s. Good kind Beel, nothing bad ever seemed to come from him. Shoving the urge to sigh appreciatively out loud because that would cause actual questions that would be difficult to answer, you instead pondered the question. Would it be against Lucifer’s wishes? He never mentioned keeping it a secret from his brothers.

And so, you told them. About Michael and their memories being tampered with. And they were livid. So livid in fact, they all transformed into their demon forms. And your room was filled with infernal magic and wings and tails flickering. It was intense, but you knew it all came from a place of love. Even Satan, who had yet to be born at the time this happened, was upset, his green tail twisting around. In the tiny space, it was a lot.

Holding up your hand, hoping this calmed them down, you spoke softly, “Please relax everyone. I’m okay now. Simeon and Lucifer helped me. No one can hurt me here.”

“And… you’re staying?” Satan asked.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

They all relaxed, and changed back to their ‘human’ forms. You felt that you could breathe again.

The silence was tense, and you swallowed thickly, trying to think of something to say. Luckily, someone else did.

Asmo clapped his hands and exclaimed, “Let’s have a movie night! Popcorn, blankets, cuddling. It’ll be so fun! It’s the perfect thing to reconnect.”

Good ole’ Asmo, you would kiss him if you didn’t think it would cause a disaster. “Yeah, let’s do it,” you agreed. “But I pick the movie. We’re watching a scary movie.” You wiggled your fingers, chuckling.

Mammon’s face dropped. “Uh, we—we should watch something else, like an Action movie. A superhero movie, those are awesome!”

“Why, are you gonna cry if we watch a horror film?” Satan teased.

“Yeah, poor Mammon’s gonna wet himself,” Belphie joked.

“He probably already has,” Levi chuckled.

Mammon growled, and reached for them with his hands, probably to strangle them, but you stuck out your hand. “Please, no fighting. We can watch a funny movie then.”

Mammon relaxed. “I didn’t care either way!” he declared.

So your bedroom was transformed into a fort of soft pillows, blankets and sheets. Satan used a spell to make the bed larger for everyone and he TV was enlarged, too. Very handy spellcasting. Beel and Levi went to get snacks and drinks, and everyone else got the room set up with pillows for everybody.

After the movie started, and everyone was situated on the huge bed, it was quiet. Everyone was scattered around with their own pillows and you felt surrounded by warmth. This was exactly what you needed, just some time with them, feeling at peace.

But the comfortable quiet did not last long.

From where Mammon was snuggled beside you, he nudged your arm and said, “So… are you gonna tell us about it?”

You blinked. “About what?”

“Your life with the humans. We want to know everything. What it was like, who you met. Oh, did you meet anyone famous?”

Satan sat up straight. “Yes, did you meet any historical figures?”

Everyone seemed to be listening in instead of watching the film now.

You thought it over, and nodded. “Yeah, a few I guess… they were ordinary people to me at the time, though… Just your fellow human helping out other humans. I tended to keep out of any major conflicts so not to affect too much. I guess just part of what I’d been taught growing up in the Celestial Realm: don’t do anything to change the path humanity will take.”

Mammon nodded. “What was one of your favorite memories?”

Wow, that was a hard question to answer. You even said so. “I lived on Earth for a long time... I have a lot of stuff packed in my head,” you chuckled.

“Aw, c’mon, there’s gotta be somethin’ that sticks out,” Mammon said. “You can’t think of one thing?”

“Oooh, what was your favorite style of outfit? Maybe those pretty dresses from the 18th century?” Asmo asked.

“Anything before the invention of the internet has to be the worst,” Levi commented.

Beel, while chewing on some popcorn, said, “The food is always gonna be good, but when the cheeseburger was created was probably my favorite time in history.”

You chuckled at each of their comments. But you did go through your favorite memories, friends’ long past and different towns flashing through your mind’s eye. Overall they were happy memories but in the end, it was always the same endgame. They died, and you moved on.

You must have made some noise or done something because Asmo made a cooing noise at you. “Oh, sweetie.” He immediately pulled you into his arms, tucking you into his neck to pet your hair. A few tear drops fell but you did sob or cry at all.

There were hands rubbing your back and arms, and you looked up to see the brother’s saddened smiling faces.

“We are here for you,” Satan reassured you, stroking his hand up and down your upper arm. His hand was warm and comforting.

Levi sniffled, and squeezed your hand. “Don’t cry anymore, you don’t need to when we can protect you now.”

Beel reached behind himself, and held out a candy bar towards you. “Hey, do you want some of my chocolate? It’s got small crunchy bits in it. And chocolate makes you feel better.” He smiled, and handed you the candy bar. It had a bite out of it, but the thought was nice.

“Thank you, Beel.”

“And here, take my blanket, you look cold.” Belphie put his small throw blanket over your lower half, making his brothers curse when it buried their own arms or hands.

You smiled up at him. “Thanks, Belphie.”

Asmo made a huffing sound. “Well, I want to play with your hair. Can I braid it, please?”

You giggled. “Go ahead, Asmo.”

You let them pamper you up, while the movie played in the background. Eventually the movie ended and Levi set up a racing game, and you all selected your characters and played together. It was a perfect first day back home.

[ttttaehyungie]

regular | extra #1

regular | extra #1

main fic

genre | romance, fluff, smut

pairing | film major!jungkook x convenience store worker!y/n

word count | 3.1k

rating | 18+

warnings | sooooftttt smut, morning sex, nipple play, dry humping, thigh riding, multiple orgasms, kisses kisses lots of kisses n cuddles, y/n talks briefly about having low self-esteem

summary | It’s been just a couple of weeks into your night shifts at the convenience store and you’ve caught yourself looking forward to the patronage of the two regulars who come by to purchase ramyeon and the sight of a certain bunny-toothed grin. Little do you know, you’ve caught the eye of the very pair of doe eyes you so adore.

a/n | OK SO,,,, this was NOT planned. did not plan this when i first wrote regular, did not plan this in my upcoming wips schedule, and definitely did not plan for it to get this long slkdjflkj but i justttt love these two lil beans so much and i lowkey hope i didn’t just ruin them by writing this and thought about them celebrating jk’s bday and here we are um 5h and 3k words later :’)

Few things in life are as lovely as being able to sleep in. And being able to sleep in on a weekday? That’s a whole other tier.

Now. Being able to sleep in on a weekday and in your lover’s arms? Transcendental.

The room is just barely lit in the first, feeble rays of the sunrise. The only time you see the sunrise is when you’re working the early shift, the sunbeams filtering their way through the glass panels of the convenience store to reach you.

Which means that the only time you get to enjoy the still quietness of dawn from the comfort of your bed is never.

Although it looks like that count isn’t going up since you’re technically in your boyfriend’s bed and not your own.

You attempt to maneuver your way from between Jungkook’s arms to a sitting position, banking on his heavy sleeper tendencies. But no such luck.

“Huh?” comes his groggy voice, thick with sleep. In his confusion, his arms around you tighten, pulling you closer into his chest. His lips caress your forehead, soft and warm but also sluggish in his sleepy dazedness. Cute. Your heart flutters at the realization that his first instinct upon waking is this show of affection.

Running your fingers through his soft curls, you’re the one to pour out your affection this time. You whisper, “Good morning.”

“Mmhm,” he whispers back, “it’s always a good morning when I’m with you.”

You retaliate against his cheesiness with a tap on his nose. But he only returns this with a peck to your nose. And another. And another. And a whole smattering of light kisses across your cheeks, up to your forehead, down along your jawline, and by the time he lands a smooch to his final destination on your lips, you’re in a heap of giggles that bubble up from the sheer contentment spilling over from your heart.

“Why are you up so early?” he asks, the heat of his breath wafting over your left collarbone.

“I think I’m too used to getting up early for my shift. I was gonna watch the sunrise, then attempt to go back to sleep.”

Pausing in his quiet peppering of kisses along your collarbone, Jungkook looks up at you, and although his eyes are wide and innocent as they peer at you, you recognize the undercurrent of lust burning in them, quiet and low but unmistakably present.

He ducks his head back down and mumbles against your skin, “Mm but we’re both awake now. Would it be a waste if we just go back to sleep?”

A shiver runs down your spine, and it’s only due in part to the tickle of his lips on you. He doesn’t ask for it directly, but you’ve been together long enough to know what he’s asking for.

“It is,” you agree. Your fingers scrape gently along his scalp before you run your thumb over the shell of his ears, watching as his eyes flutter shut in the heady sensation of it all.

Jungkook grabs one of your hands and brings it to his lips, skimming them over the delicate skin on the back of your hand. The feel of his plush lips on your wrist and the sensation of the point of his nose running up your palm has you sighing. He plants tender kisses to each of your fingers before taking just the tip of your index finger into the warm cavern of his mouth.

His tongue flicks. You gasp. The warm appendage glides along your finger and provides ample distraction from the movements of his other hand.

He runs his thumb along the slope of your hip bone, the full warmth of his hand on you as he’s slipped it under your shirt while your attention was elsewhere. It’s when your eyes snap open in the stimulation that you realize they had even drifted shut in the first place.

He pulls your finger out of his mouth, ending it with a kiss to your knuckles.

“Do you want this?” he asks, and you nod frantically. He flashes that bunny smile- the very same grin that stole your heart all that time ago- and you’re falling in love all over again. It’s that smile that tinges his breathy words with a brightness as he whispers, “Okay.”

He turns you onto your back. Both his hands slide up under your shirt this time and you arch your back at the feeling of his big, warm hands on you. He’s not gripping hard- Jungkook’s always treated you with such gentleness- but there’s just something in the way he holds you that makes you feel so secure.

They continue their ascent and pause when his palms rest on your ribs, his thumbs stroking the soft skin of the swell of your breasts. A breathy moan escapes you. The satisfaction in this simple action is already unreal. But it triples when his hands venture further up to tweak at a nipple, already pert even though untouched up to this point.

As your pleasure builds, the shy apprehension that seems to constantly cloak your being begins to melt away. You pull your sleep shirt- loose and baggy as is most comfortable for sleeping- all the way up to bunch up at your neck, and you sigh as you take in the sight of them being rolled, pinched, flicked under Jungkook’s skillful fingers. Just the physical stimulation alone had them raised to points, but the visual of your boyfriend paying so much tender attention to your chest as you’re both bathed in the golden glow of the dawn has you biting your lip.

Just as you think that your pleasure is at its maximum, he takes a bud into his mouth. He sucks on it gently and you jolt upwards from the pleasure. Taking the chance, he slips his hands beneath your back, wrapping you in warmth from both his hands and mouth.

“Mmn, Jungkook,” you sigh out between gasps of pleasure, “it’s your birthday. Shouldn’t you be the one receiving?”

He breaks away from you, and you can’t help but whine softly from the loss of contact. But it’s quickly replaced by his thumb tracing your areola. Taking a quick once-over of your blissed out state, he smiles and answers, “Love, watching you lose it is pleasure enough for me.”

“Are you sure? I coul-”

“Shh,” he kisses you as he cuts you off mid-sentence, “I’m the birthday boy and this is what I want.”

He moves to resume his actions, but you push him off you. Surprise crosses his features, but that’s quickly rectified as you clamber into his lap, straddling him.

“We could both… at the same time,” you explain disjointedly. But Jungkook gets it. With his hands on your hips, he pulls you down to rest your weight on him, his hard-on pressing into your core. The feeling of being pressed together elicits moans of pleasure from both of you. Grabbing your shirt from where it’s collected at your hips, he tugs upwards, divesting you of your top.

He takes a look at you, clad in nothing but your panties as you sit in his lap, hands resting on his shoulders with your breasts on full show, he gasps in awe at the sight. His reaction flatters you to no end and with the boost in confidence, you initiate. Arching your back, you slide your hands through his thick locks and pull his head forward.

Getting the hint, he takes your nipple in his mouth once again, pulling a moan from you once again. This time, you can feel him throb underneath you in response to your moan. In turn, you clench in response.

You begin to rock your hips forward. Dressed in just a simple white t-shirt and boxers, Jungkook’s sleep attire leaves the barriers between you thin. With just two layers of cloth between you, every roll of your hips has you feeling his length in all its stiffness rubbing deliciously against you. Evidently not satisfied with the pace you set, Jungkook’s hands return to your hips to aid you along, broken moans spilling out of both of you.

Releasing your nipple with a pop, he tugs you down for a kiss. You respond eagerly, one hand buried in his hair to pull him closer and the other scrabbling on his shoulder through his shirt.

“Love,” he gets in between pants, “you have to be quiet. Jin-hyung might hear us.”

Not trusting yourself to remain quiet, you drop your head to his shoulder and muffle your sounds in his shirt as your hips continue their rapid movements, frantically chasing your high. Jungkook, too, busies himself with placing open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone, occasionally grunting into you.

Between the feel of his solid cock and the friction of your panties sending pressure on your clit, and the kisses being laved along your collarbone, your high is within reach. You grind down harder. Faster. It coils within you and builds, builds, builds. You’re almost there when-

Jungkook lifts you off of him. The pleasure, tightly wound in your core, ebbs away even as you clench your walls in a desperate but ultimately fruitless attempt to cling onto it.

“No! No, no, no, no. Why?” you whine as he shifts you, laying kisses on your cheeks as he apologizes repeatedly.

“I’m so sorry, love. But it was too good and I- I only want to cum when I’m inside you today.”

You sniff, but you nod your okay. You reach for the waistband of his boxers, but he swats your hand away lightly, earning him a puzzled look.

“Here,” he says, flexing his thigh beneath you so that it presses hard and warm into you. “I want to see you cum first.”

“But-”

“It’s my birthday,” he says, pouting petulantly, “and this is what I want.”

“Okay, okay. Birthday boy gets what he wants.” You chuckle and lean forward to kiss his pout, thumb stroking his cheek with tenderness.

You place his hands on your chest once again, and begin working yourself on his thigh. The muscle is firm, testament to the hours he spends at the gym, and the hard planes of it press into your clit, and you’re quickly addicted to the sensation that sparks from rolling your bundle of nerves over the solid muscle. Jungkook flicks at your nipples, creating delicious shocks that add to your mounting pleasure. Sooner than you’d expected, you’re back at where you were, teetering on the brink and feeling suspended from how tightly wound you are.

Your head thrown back, mouth agape in bliss, your arousal leaking out of you and seeping through your panties in a damp spot and onto your boyfriend’s bare thigh, Jungkook knows you’re close. Rubbing your nipples hard and fast, at an almost brutal pace, the stimulation is just enough to tip you over that edge and free-falling in the bliss of your orgasm.

You bury your face in his neck as you whine out your pleasure, “Jungkook, ungh, Jungkook…”

Your walls pulse and throb, and your hips continue to roll against the thigh that he presses up harder into you, bending at the knee to increase the intensity of your pleasure. Your strokes have become slow but hard, sinking your weight down into the solid flesh to elongate your high.

When you’ve descended, the last waves of your release mellowing out into little tingles, you open your eyes to find Jungkook’s on you, wide in wonder.

Grabbing you, he pulls you into a searing kiss. His lips on yours are urgent, his tongue seeking yours out, his arms clutching you tightly to his chest such that not an inch of distance exists between you.

“I want to be inside you so bad right now,” he pulls away from the kiss to admit, his eyes staring deeply into yours with blatant vulnerability. “I want you so bad.”

“You have me,” you promise. “You have me, birthday boy. Not just today, but every single day. You have me.”

You climb off him to lay down on your back, legs spread slightly and bent at the knee. Running your hand over your clothed core, you eye him where he sits and watches. Despite your recent orgasm, you can already feel the stirrings of arousal begin again.

“Jungkook, please.”

The two words are simple, but they break him out of his stupor. Crawling over to situate himself before you, his hands run warm and sensual from your ankle and up to your knee, and raising goosebumps down your inner thighs as he caresses them. Arriving at your panties, he hooks his fingers in the sides of them.

He looks at you, questioning, asking for permission, and you nod. You lift your bum to help him along and he slides your final article of clothing off of you. The morning air is cool against the slick of your arousal.

Before he can lose himself staring again, you sit up and tug at his shirt. Upon your initiation, he moves faster this time, yanking his shirt off and dumping it on the floor where his boxers quickly join the pile.

As he fiddles to get the condom on, you take your time to take in the sight of your boyfriend. Completely bare, you can see how he’s built with solid and firm muscle all over. A contrast to the way he treats you, always soft and delicate with you, treating you like a treasure to behold. In all honesty, so much of your growth in self-confidence must be accredited to him. It’s the wonderment and awe in his gaze and the matter-of-fact way that he tells you that you’re amazing that began to chip away at your insecurities. Hearing him say it like it was the plain fact, simple and true, so regularly was what had you beginning to believe in yourself.

And today on his birthday, you’re so thankful for his being. You’re so thankful that he came into your life. You’re so thankful for his love.

“I love you.” It comes spilling out of your mouth. But you don’t regret it, you don’t want to take it back. “I love you,” you repeat. “So much.”

His eyes crinkle into those endearing crescent moons you adore. “I love you too.”

He lines himself up to your entrance and carefully pushes into you. The stretch stings a little, but he goes slow and gentle, easing his way in till he’s buried fully in you.

He sighs. “You feel so good around me.”

You hum in agreement and nod, and his smile grows wider in response.

“Do I feel good?” he asks.

“Mmhm. So, so good.” With your body adjusted to him now, you clench around him, eliciting a hiss from him. “You can move, Jungkookie.”

With your go-ahead, he begins moving, gentle and shallow at first. But as the feeling overtakes him, your warmth wrapping around his cock and drawing pleasure from him, he gives in and begins going harder and faster.

“Mmn, ____,” he whispers in your ear, his breath in your ear sending tingles down your spine, “it feels so good to be joined to you.”

You only let out a happy sigh in response, but you understand completely. Everything feels so intimate. The dim lighting of the morning, the soft blankets abandoned but still surrounding your naked forms, the hushed, whispered confessions and gasped out moans, the knowledge that you are making love to the man that you love and the man that you love is making love to you.

You run your hands up and down his sides, reveling in the smoothness of his skin in your palms. With your pointer finger, you tweak his nipple, and the sound that he emits has you clenching around him, eliciting yet another one.

He snakes a hand between you and down to where you’re joined. In the same way that he was flicking at your chest just a few moments prior, he begins playing with your clit. It’s getting increasingly difficult to stay quiet, and you resort to muffling your moans with a pillow as the amount of pleasure you experience gets ramped up tenfold.

But he pulls the pillow away, his doe eyes now steeled with lust as it bores into yours.

“Don’t hide from me. I want to see you when you cum.”

With that, he increases the speed, both on your clit and in the snapping of his hips into you.

“Jungkook, ah, Jungkook. I’m close.”

“I can feel you tightening around me. You’re squeezing me so tight.”

“Mmn, so close.”

“You can let go. Cum around me.”

He circles your clit with an unrelenting intensity and you snap, hurtling off into bliss once again.

As you throb around his girth, he slows down his strokes to work you through it as you whimper his name again and again. He kisses your cheeks lightly, pulling you back to alertness with the sprinkling of his kisses.

Now having ensured that your pleasure has been achieved, he starts up again, rutting into you with no abandon now, unabashedly chasing his own orgasm. You tug at his hair lightly to pull his head back, and begin plant kisses all along his neck, aiming for the sensitive spots near his clavicle. With your other hand, you circle his nipple lightly, pleasuring him the way he did for you so expertly.

Within minutes, he crests the peak, seizing up slightly as he spills into the condom. You clench around him gently, milking him through his high. He collapses into you, his warm weight pinning you down but not uncomfortable. You stroke his hair lovingly as he pants and attempts to regain himself.

Recovered, he slides himself out of you, and takes care of the condom quickly, not wanting to be apart from you for too long.

He snuggles back into your arms that are outstretched and waiting for him as he returns to the bed, and sighs happily as he circles his arms around your waist.

“Happy birthday, my love,” you wish him, twisting a tendril of his hair around your finger.

He hums in contentment. “Being yours is the best birthday present ever.”

You both settle into the quiet of the morning, enjoying the stillness of it. Or at least you intended to until-

“Hey!” Jin’s voice sounds from the other side of the door. His knocks continue to pound on the door. “Time to get up, you lovebirds. Or are you going to spend all of ____’s specially requested off-day just lying in bed?”

Jungkook groans. “Fifteen minutes, hyung, please?”

“C’mon, Sophie’s waiting for us. We made plans for four of us to celebrate your birthday, remember?”

“She waited for you to make a move for an entire year since you joined the company. I’m pretty sure she can handle fifteen minutes,” Jungkook retorts.

“The only thing holding me back from marching in there right now to give you the ass-whooping of your life is that one, it’s your birthday, and two, I’m protecting my eyes from seeing you both nude. You’re not that quiet, y’know. Now please just put some damn clothes on and get washed up so we can go.”

[rosella-writes]

writing tag game

Thank you so much for the tag @noire-pandora, @kittynomsdeplume, @melisusthewee and @emerald-amidst-gold <3

Whoooo boy, here we go.

How many works do you have on AO3?

17, but quite a few are just one-shots. I only have a couple long-fics, mostly because my poor ADHD brain is cruel to me.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

190,052, but if I hadn't orphaned my old (and embarrassing) Skyrim and Sherlock fanfics it'd probably be closer to 300,000.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

honey just put your sweet lips on my lips - 579

i couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted - 56

a fuller feeling (a brighter burst) - 54

Eunoia - 40

i'd wanna be felled by you, held by you (fuel the pyre of your enemies) - 39

(And to be perfectly honest, my most popular fic is by far my worst. I spend so much more time carefully crafting for Eunoia than I do anything else, but the little following it's picked up has made it worth more to me than all the kudos and comments on "honey.")

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! I used to be terrible about it, mostly because the vast majority of comments I once got was hate (I wrote for a weirdly unpopular wlw pairing). Now I make it a point to respond to every single one when I can, even the short ones, to thank them for taking the time. It means so much.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It was a drabble for the r/dragonage writing thread, actually! The premise was a font in the Black Emporium that would show your OC the outcome of a decision made differently. I wrote Eliana Lavellan from Eunoia discovering what would have happened if she'd fought with Solas in Crestwood until he told her the truth... and its outcome was worse than the timeline where he left her and kept his secret. You can read it here (it's about 1200 words, nice and short).

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

My various Solavellan pairings don't get happy endings. Evelyn Lavellan was more of a narrative tool to explore Solas with, so her ending was cut short. Eliana doesn't have her ending yet, but it will be bitter and painful. My happiest ending was for my Bella/Rosalie pairing for Twilight - Bella became a vampire and lived happily ever after with her wife.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't, unfortunately! Since my days on tumblr and FFNet, S*perWh*L*ck left a terrible taste in my mouth when it came to crossovers. I'd be open to it one day if I can find fandoms chill enough.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

As I previously mentioned, yes. In my Bella/Rosalie fic, I made it a point for Rosalie to love all the parts of Bella that weren't conventionally beautiful. My Bella is also a dark-skinned black woman, and the intersection of racism, colorism, and misogyny where it concerns attractiveness was something I thought worth including because I didn't see enough of it in fic. I wanted to highlight all the things that don't get enough attention or are actively reviled, like hyperpigmentation, stretch marks, natural hair, soft bellies, areolas and vulvas that aren't perfectly symmetrical or small, pubic hair and armpit hair and little hairs around nipples - things that I love about AFAB people! I got a lot of comments on my smut chapters calling Bella disgusting, or me nasty for choosing to include those traits. I deleted every single one.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

So much. I love exploring pairings or power dynamics that people wouldn't necessarily consider, like a strong female warrior Lavellan domming Solas, or Solas topping Blackwall. I wanted to show a black woman in an interracial relationship with a white woman where she got to be soft and loved gently, where she got to be quiet, bookish, and looked after instead of expected to be the loud, strong stereotype that we pin black women into. I wanted to show the power of masculinity in an elven mage who loves a warrior woman (Solas/Cass), or the nurturing side of domming in a relationship between a pan giant and a bisexual elf (Iron Bull/Solas).

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, tbh. I turn up to fandoms a decade late, so usually by the time I get any traction the fic-stealers have done their dirty work and leave me alone.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven't! I hope to one day write a fic in Greek for my best friend, though. They deserve to read about Solas in their mother-tongue.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but have done some plotting with aforesaid Greek friend.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Solavellan, absolutely. Any variation, honestly - I've loved m!Solavellan, f!Solavellan, as well as any variation including nonbinary, trans, or other interpretation of the relationship. Solas sees and loves the spirit, and I love the idea that its vessel doesn't matter so much to him. I headcanon him as a he/him agender bisexual, for what it's worth.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I've technically marked i couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted as complete, but it cuts off right before Adamant and was intended to be a full Solavellan story. However, I just didn't care for my rogue f!Lavellan OC very much, and didn't think she matched Solas well. I developed an OC that I enjoyed writing much better and rolled with it. So, I'm sorry Evelyn Lavellan, but your story is frozen with the two of you happy in bed. Solas will never break up with her so long as I don't write that part, right?

What are your writing strengths?

I love dialogue and crafting character voices! Getting a comment that I've managed to portray a favorite character so well that they can hear their voice in their head as they read? Priceless.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Exposition vs description. I want to show instead of tell, but developing the right environment for a scene can be tough for me. It's so much easier to write that the characters are cold and the ground is wet than to wax poetic about dripping leaves and frosty air. But I'm working on it.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I'm obsessed with it. I love little bits sprinkled through that make sense with context, and culturally speaking it would feel wrong not to sometimes! I'm also the type of person that's always been obsessed with languages, and instead of becoming fluent in one I've learned a smattering of a whole lot. So any opportunity to sneak in some French, Welsh, German when it makes sense? I'm taking it. And don't even get me started on Elvhen or Qunlat because I will sprinkle that shit like biodegradable glitter.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Okay I'm gonna flout this question and just write my fandoms in order:

Sherlock (circa 2010 - 2014)

Skyrim (2016)

Twilight (obsessed from 2005 - 2010 but didn't write for it until 2019 or 2020 when Midnight Sun released)

Dragon Age (March 2021 and easily the most fanfic I've ever written ever)

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

My favorite one to write was probably i'd wanna be felled by you, but my favorite to reread is Eunoia. It's most likely the most honest, least presumptuous thing I've ever written, and it's easily the longest thing I've ever attempted. I'm very proud of it.

As far as tagging goes, I've been very rude lately with it by tagging people late in the day, or tagging folks that I haven't tagged before, and am still refiguring out tumblr etiquette (since I haven't been here since the days of the skeleton war and the Mishapocalypse lmao), so presume if you see this you're tagged to participate. With no expectations nor pressure, though, I'll tag @dreadfutures, @varric-tethras-editor and @blarfkey if they'd like. <3

[chim-chimchii]

Highway to Heaven (Yuta)

Genre: Fluff and Sauce! (It’s like eating something really spicy while being buried in a soft blanket)

Word Count: 1,920 

Note: I'm finally getting around to posting this. This Yuta drabble has been a WIP since summer, I believe? I want to thank Ashley for initially giving me this idea and for making the banner. Feedback is always appreciated! 

Set The Mood: Highway to Heaven by NCT127 (You can pick which version to listen to)

It was the day before spring break, and all your friends had decided to rent a van and drive to meet up with the others at a popular camping ground. Your bags were packed and stacked by the door for easy grabbing. You had just put the last bag down when your phone began to vibrate in your pocket.

"Bad news, Champ." Mark's voice sounded from the other end.

Without having him explain further, you already knew what he was going to say.

"The trip's canceled?" You tried not to sound too disappointed, but you were. The excitement was fading with each second that passed.

"Well, not technically. Everyone here had last minute things come up. Everyone, except you and Yuta."

You leaned against the wall and chewed on your bottom lip. Just hearing Mark say his name brought butterflies to your stomach.

"I only agreed to go because I wanted us all to be together. Plus, it's safer when there are more people." You clenched your phone a little tighter, silently praying that Mark would cancel his other plans to come along.

"It would just be you and Yuta until you get to the campgrounds. What could possibly happen on the drive there?" Before you could tell him of the possible outcomes that you came up with, he spoke again.

"Yuta really wants to go still, and I know you do too." You could imagine him smirking on the other line knowing that he was hinting at your crush on Yuta.

"Mark, I don't know." You were still trying to decide. The thought of you and Yuta being alone in a van for a couple of hours brought a blush to your cheeks.

"C'mon, Y/n." Mark was practically begging you to go even though he wasn't coming along.

"Okay, okay. Mark, you have to promise me that if you guys get the chance, you'll come and join us."

"I promise! You're going to have fun tomorrow!" . . . . . . You leaned against the van and watched as Mark and Yuta made small talk while loading your bags into the back. Yuta threw his head back and laughed at something Mark had said; undoubtedly, it was something weird and idiotic, but it made you chuckle too.

You were thankful for the dark sunglasses, for they hid the fact that you had been staring and admiring Yuta from where you were. As quickly as you could, you adverted your gaze when they both made their way over.

"You sure you're not forgetting anything?"  Yuta asked, he leaned his shoulder against the van and looked at you with a lopsided grin.

"I'm sure. I checked again before meeting you guys here."

Yuta nodded and stood upright.

"Good girl." He winked.

You immediately looked at Mark to see if he had heard Yuta, but, thankfully, his attention was on his phone.

"Well, Mark, I guess we'll see you next weekend."

Mark slipped his phone into his pocket. "Have a safe trip, and let me know when you both get there."

Yuta and Mark did a little handshake you didn't understand before Yuta rounded the van to enter the driver's side.

"I really wish you were coming with." You gave him a sad smile.

"Everything happens for a reason. Y/n, try to have fun." Mark wiggled his eyebrows before opening the passenger door for you. You eyed him suspiciously.

"You coming or what?" The engine roared, which made you break eye contact. Once seated and buckled in, Mark closed the door and waved.

"Have fun!"

Yuta honked twice, and the van lurched forward.

"It kind of sucks that the rest of them couldn't come." He quickly looked at you before returning his gaze to the road.

"Hopefully, they'll be able to join us later."

"Well, we'll have fun even if it's just the two of us, right?"

A blush rose to your cheeks.  

"Even if it's just the two of us." You agreed.

"That's right." He mumbled pleased with your answer.

. . . . . . . 

The music faded as Yuta turned it down. "Can I ask you a question?"

You turned your attention to him and nodded for him to go on.

"Why were you so hesitant on coming when you found out everyone else canceled?"

The question shouldn't have shocked you, but it did, and you were sure Yuta could tell that you were nervous. He was still waiting for an answer, and when you decided to be an adult about your feelings, the van began to sputter. You didn't know whether to be relieved that you wouldn't have to confess or be worried because the van was breaking down.

Yuta steered the vehicle off to the side of the road before putting it into park.

"Well, this can't be good." He opened the driver-side door and made his way to the hood. Once the hood was popped open, smoke billowed out. You followed his example and exited the vehicle.

"Should I try calling someone?" Your phone was already unlocked, and Mark's contact was showing on the screen.

Yuta nibbled on the bottom of his lip as he cautiously checked the oil and other fluids in search of the problem. "If you have service, try calling someone."

You pressed down on the small phone icon and listened to your phone as it rang and rang and went straight to voicemail.

"Of course, you wouldn't answer." You muttered under your breath as the monotone voice explained how to leave a voicemail.

It beeped, indicating for you to leave your message. "Remember when I said something could happen? Yeah, well, the van broke down. Please call me back as soon as you can."

As soon as you hung up, you threw your head back and gazed at the sky in annoyance. What good was a best friend if they never answered your phone calls?

The second person in your recents was Taeil. You expected him not to answer as the phone kept ringing, but on the fourth ring, he finally answered.

"Y/n, what's up?"

"I'm so glad you answered. Taeil, the van broke down, and we don't know what's wrong."

There was shuffling from his end. "Did you call Mark?"

You nodded as if he could see you. "Yeah, but he didn't answer."

Taeil tsked. "Sounds about right. I'll go find him, and hopefully, we can rescue you and Yuta."

"Thank you so much! I owe you big time." The tension in your shoulders began to relax.

"You're welcome. I don't know how long it will take to get there, but we'll try to hurry."

You said a quick goodbye and rounded to the front of the van to tell Yuta the excellent news. The hood had been closed, and he was now leaning against it, his arms folded over his chest. You couldn't tell if he was agitated or just thinking; you decided whichever one it was, you would cheer him up.

"Mark didn't answer, but Taeil did. He's going to find Mark, and they'll be on their way to get us." Copying his pose, you managed a smile and watched as the sun changed from a sunflower yellow to a strawberry sky.

"I'm sorry your spring break is starting so horribly." Yuta let out a disappointed puff of air. Whether he was disappointed in himself or the trip, you honestly didn't know.

"If could be stranded with someone worse, like Mark." You nudged his shoulder playfully with yours. He glanced down at you and let out a light chuckle.

"Can you help me up?" You placed your palms flat on the hood behind you to help push yourself to sit. Yuta moved quickly; his hands were gripping your hips as he lifted you.

Once you sat comfortably atop the van, you smiled. "At least the sunset is pretty, and the weather is nice."

Yuta nodded in agreement but stayed quiet. You could tell the situation was still bothering him. To distract him from the current predicament, you decided it was now or never; it was time to discuss the topic of your feelings and why you were so hesitant to come on this trip.

"Yuta."

You waited for him to look at you before continuing. 

"I'm not one for taking a whole lot of risks, and when things don't go as they were planned, I tend to be hesitant--"

He nodded and listened.

"--So when Mark told me everyone backed out, I panicked."

You adverted your eyes away from him. "I was also too nervous about being alone with you because I like you. It's easy to hide my feelings when there are other people around."

You stared down at your fidgeting fingers after confessing the feelings you held dear to your heart. The fear began to set in when Yuta didn't say anything right away. Was he thinking of ways to turn you down? You didn't have time to think of another horrible scenario because he finally spoke.

"You have feelings for me?" His voice was low and almost timid, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

You took this moment to sneak a peek at him. To your surprise, he was biting his bottom lip to hide that he was smiling like a child.

"Mark always told me that someone liked me, but I just thought it was just talking out of his ass."

The two of you shared a small laugh, and finally, your eyes connected with his. He was smiling not only with his mouth but with his eyes too; your heart did a small dance at the sight of him.

"I'm glad Mark wasn't talking about some random person. I'm glad he was talking about you." He turned his body, so he was now facing you, his arms resting on your lap as he leaned forward.

Yuta took your hands and held them carefully. "You make me nervous."

You let out a gentle laugh. Moments ago, he was smug and flirty; now, he was acting shy.

"Isn't that supposed to be my line?"

Yuta blinked at you, deciding whether or not he should answer. You took that moment to slip your hands from his grasp to cup his face, and without thinking about it further, you brought your lips to his. His hands snaked to the underside of your thighs and pulled you close to him.

In the seconds that your lips connected, the kiss took an intense turn. You had never experienced anything like this, and honestly, you were so happy it was Yuta you were sharing it with. His hold on your thighs was firm, you were sure there would be bruises in the shape of his fingers tomorrow, and that wasn't a bad thing.

Yuta pulled back for a breath of air, his lips red and swollen from the deep kiss. No doubt, yours looked the same. He chuckled anxiously and bit down on his bottom lip. "I'm sorry if that got a little too intense." 

Your hands found their way to his cheeks again. You couldn't help but give him another kiss.

"It was the best kiss I've ever had." You admitted.

"For not being a risk-taker, that kiss was very risky." He said with a wink.

You threw your head back, thoroughly shocked at how quick Yuta could switch from being shy to being coy, which Yuta took as an invitation. He started at your collarbone and peppered kisses up to your jaw.

 "I'm so glad it's you." He mumbled with a final kiss on your lips.

[sugarcomatosed]

i love your stories so much!! and was wondering if you can give some writing tips perhaps? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Breaking this up into sections for you + putting it under a cut cause I went overboard. 😅

General Writing Tips

These work for both academic and creative writing.

Make an outline.

It doesn't have to be a formal one, but having at least a general idea of the scenes you want to include is helpful. If I know my fic is going to be a longer one (like Don't Hesitate was and my current WIP is), I break down the larger story beats i want to hit on a piece of paper or my iPad.

It's good to know what you're planning to do, in a any piece I usually have a single specific scene I want to do and depending on what it is, I might either just do the scene I want to or turn into something longer.

Draft, draft, draft.

I cannot stress the importance of going through and reviewing your work. This is a big part of any sort of writing.

Your first idea isn't always your best idea. As you work on a piece you might find your original idea is holding you back, focus shifts! Don't be afraid to let your work change as you go. It's not always easy to let go of your original idea but if you find it's not working, you have to let it change. Sections will need to be rewritten, things have to be readjusted to fit with later sections. Reread for clarity while you're drafting and look to see if this makes sense to you, or reads well to you. If you can't follow it and you wrote it, chances are your reader can't either. Did you use the same phrase again and again? Find and search it on your doc to double check.

Sometimes you have to cut things you really like because they just don't contribute to the fic anymore. Save those bits and use them somewhere else!In a lot of my longer pieces I will write a paragraph, realize that's not where it should go and cut/paste it into another part of the doc because the pacing/scene doesn't make sense where I had it originally, but it works somewhere else.

If you're stuck, skip around, come back and then stitch the bits you have written together.

Don't Focus on a Word Count

This might be controversial, but I'm of the opinion just because something is longer does not make it better. Some works are short, and that's okay! I very rarely try to aim for a specific count of words unless it's for a prompt exchange or a personal challenge. I write till I feel the piece is done. Some stories require more words, some require less.

Don't Hesitate is a great example of this again, because all I wanted to do was a bittersweet first kiss fic, but jumping write into the kiss wouldn't get the full effect I wanted. Meanwhile, with Old Habits all I wanted to do was write dumb comedic kisses, we didn't need a 2k preamble.

Get Someone You Trust to Edit

My go to editor for the past six years or so is one of my good friends. She has edited everything from college papers to my fics for me before I post them to read for clarity, find any funky phrases or misspelled words I missed, and I do the same for her when she asks! A fresh set of eyes makes a world of a difference. Find someone to trade fics with or ask a friend! They might have good suggestions you never thought of, or be able to tell what you were going for when you don't even know yourself.

I also rely on my friends a lot to brainstorm and talk my ideas out before I start because it helps me think and figure out what I need. It's super common for me to text someone and say "im gonna spitball at you, that okay?" and then spend twenty minutes chatting through my ideas.

Have Reference Material

For my 13sar fics, I regularly go back and review/screenshot videos of the dialogue to make sure I am staying consistent with story events, character nuance and small details. You don't have to go crazy, but it is really helpful to have your source material to go back to and check yourself against. In non creative writing I always had a pile of papers highlighted with my own notes on the margins.

Take Breaks/Pace Yourself

Know your own limits, and if you are working and working on something and it's not coming out leave it alone and come back to it. I'm really bad at this personally because when I get an idea in my head I want to see it through but sometimes you gotta step back! It's not healthy to keep working on things and overwork yourself. Stretch, get up go for a walk.

Write What You Want to Write

Don't focus on what people want to read. Focus on what you like. Find a topic, a scene, anything that you are passionate about and the rest will follow. The only time I write fic for other people is when I am writing for a friend. Even prompt requests I only take open ended ones, if I am not interested in writing it it's not gonna happen. I know it's super hard and I get really anxious sometimes about letting people down now, or worrying people won't like something but then I step back and remind myself this is a hobby and I'm doing it for fun.

Play to Your Strengths

You shouldn't try to write like me, you should try to write like yourself. Find what skills you have and use them to your advantage!

I can't give you a step by step list to write like me, because nobody in the world has my background! We're all unique. Everything I've listed so far I know because I'm not a beginner anymore! I'm in my twenties and have come from a strong academic writing background.

I took on an intensive course load in high school, and then went onto college for a sociology degree. I very rarely had test based finals and at the end of each semester would have five 10-15 page papers to submit. Straight up some of my skills come from having read and studied the works of anthropologist Clifford Geertz. I am not saying you should read anthropology/sociology texts. Unless you like that sort of thing lol

I also have 6+ years of theater experience (acting & directing), I use this all the time for my writing. When I think about a scene, I think about how I would work through it as an actor, how the character would move, and how would things read to an audience. The GOTE ("Goal, Obstacle, Tactics, and Expectation") method of acting by Robert Cohen is really useful hear if you want a more technical breakdown of what I mean by that.

This leads to a lot of what we called "business" in acting, doing small tiny things while you talk or move around on stage to give the sense you're a real human. I don't have to think or try on these sort of things because they're in my skill set already!

Things I do Personally

As in, these are not transferable skills this is just the stuff I do while working on projects.

Find a Vibe™️

I come into any fic with usually a goal I want to hit, a line of dialogue or something I want to capture. Just like, the general idea of a feeling a song even if the lyrics don't match up. Make a mood-board, a playlist, just find something you wanna do. It's less about the actual words on the page and what you're aiming to do.

Look to things that inspire you

Don't Hesitate got written because I wanted to write a fic that captured the same vibe as a scene in Macross Frontier, where two characters have a bittersweet kiss before the final battle and that scene still has me fucked up six years after watching it.

My current WIP is doing the same thing but with the song All I've Ever Known from Hadestown. Two characters working through loneliness, the sudden feeling of falling in love and the frustration that feeling can bring on sometime.

I don't plagiarize them word for word, but these are scenes that inspire me! I also patchwork quilt ideas together. Using Don't Hesitate again, I also ended up pulling from a bunch of shoujo anime, Toradora, Sailor Moon, Yona of the Dawn, Princess Tutu...specific scenes I enjoy to blend and create something new.

Goof Off While You Write

I name my documents stupid things, I write dumb placeholder dialogue or vague sentiments like "insert better word here", I make memes when I'm struggling and roast myself and my predictable tastes.

I spent twenty minutes texting a friend Juro's name with different letters spelt out and then the "fuck your chickenstrips" vine saying it was Juro during destruction. Just have fun with it!

Listen to J-POP On Loop for Hours at a Time

i am not kidding I do this all the time. Perfume, AKB48, anime idol osts, Sailor Moon's OPs/ED, vocaloid songs. I like technopop and Japanese is good because it usually doesn't distract my brain since I only know random phrases, but still know what the meaning og the song is.

I love music, it helps me vibe out.

Thank you so much for enjoying my work ;o;

I hope this is useful to you in some way! I'm so sorry it's so long winded but I am overly thorough and love to teach people ;w;

[asukaskerian]

monthly word count

TOTAL: 8 792 words. Hm. Okay. POSTED: nothing! WIP: -Bleach: Ichigo/Grimmjow/his fraccion ABO (347 words but i did unfuck some things. this chapter is being very difficult. just die already, mayuri.) -Naruto: Tobirama breaks time to save his baby bros (12 words sobs. it was supposed to be a oneshot. why can't i finish it.) -Bleach: IchiHimeNelGrim suburban OT4 (345 words. oh god so stuck. this is an easy sweet flirty AU. why.) -Bleach: grimmichi psychic wolves (155 words, end of ichigo scene, now i just need grimmjow scene and the chapter will be complete... so, halfway there.) -Bleach, grimmichi superheroes AU chapter 2 (2 693 words, ALMOSt complete. :O) -Naruto: madatobiizu group marriage ABO chapter 4 (4 218 words hohohohoho) -Naruto: madatobiizu group marriage ABO discarded POV that didn't stall me as i mourned it too hard to write its replacement for once!! (1 002 words. sad re: discard but okay.) Lupercalia is on february 15th so I should finish the bleach psychic wolves chapter. also i'm missing maybe two lines of wrap-up for the superheroes AU chapter 2... hmmmmmm. otherwise it's mainly madatobiizu ABO at the moment. i don't know when i'll post chapter 2 because while it's super interesting atm this is the kind of fic that i feel is gonna stall on me for seven months at some point and it's a high-effort one so i'd feel bad about that. >_>;;; so i want a buffer and not to get people used to monthly chapters or something.

-- grimmichi ABO -- Finding his balance at his back, more than close enough to feel the hot wash of his power, Grimmjow goes from incredulous rage to an odd, giddy burst of -- relief? satisfaction? Fuck, it's heady. It's -- (Oh, he's breathing on Kurosaki's nape, he could -- touch? Grab. Bite.) But the painted fuck makes a displeased clucking noise, and Grimmjow remembers that he has no intention to humor Kurosaki's stupid protect-everything instinct. -- Grimmichi superheroes AU -- Karin's eyes narrowed, going between the two of them with suspicion and wariness that hadn't even been there a minute ago, while keeping an actual supervillain company. Ichigo narrowed his eyes meanly. "I already know he's here, you don't need to keep any more secrets from me." Ichigo bit down on Zangetsu's growl. "Think he wants to do the 'touch my sister and die' routine," Pantera drawled, amused, his head tilted on the pillow just enough to bare a hint of throat. That didn't read as surrender at all, only as teasing, as a dare he knew nobody would take him up on-- 'Zan?' 'He would fucking deserve it if I did,' his alien tapeworm growled lowly back, their mouth watering at the thought of flesh parting between their teeth and blood and a scar. Karin hesitated before handing her cards to Ichigo, eyes flicking between the two of them. Ichigo sighed. "We're not going to fight. He'd bleed like a stuck pig on my mattress, again." "... Fine." She gave Pantera a gimlet stare. "Your one and only warning, grungy -- Ichi fights fair, but I don't." Ichigo waited to hear her stomping all the way down the stairs before he opened his mouth, and was beaten to the punch by Pantera, who was running a thumb across his hand of cards thoughtfully as he watched him. "She's got powers, don't she." ... Had Ichigo thought he was out of the lake of adrenaline? More the fool he. It was like being dunked through ice into a polar sea. 'How the fuck??' was barely louder than 'kill him now / he thinks she's a threat kill him now.' He licked dry lips, tried to find the least incriminating answer he could, only managed an unsteady "What?" Pantera rolled his eyes. "She didn't get nervous until she had to leave you alone with me. She ain't stupid, but she's too fucking sure of herself. She's got powers, you don't." A quick raking glance, assessing. "Or at least not enough." Ichigo opened his mouth, closed it. Well. Technically... Well. -- MadaTobiIzu ABO -- If he went to their bedroom to get undressed first, it would only be more putting it off, wouldn't it. He knocked, then slid the bathroom door open. "Room for one more?" He tried on a smile. Madara looked all loose and flushed, head rolled back over the lip of the tub, hair piled up in a ridiculously huge bun, toes floating up. Maybe it would just be a relaxing time, with some shop talk sprinkled in... Oh. There was a little wooden tub bobbing along in the bath with Madara, carrying a sake bottle and two cups. His throat tightened. "I'm sure I can keep from accidentally drowning you," Madara replied, waving a hand indolently at the wide square of a bath. Izuna blinked, laughed. They could have fit a litter of five adult men in there, or almost. The bath back home was a round tube they had to take turns in. But there were only two people in their household. Taking turns was not that much of an issue. "And drowning me on purpose?" he asked with a faint, vaguely choked-up smile. Madara smirked back, eyes closed, head still tilted back. "That's a risk you'll have to take." Izuna undressed, forcing himself to take his time folding it all nicely because he was going to regret it later if he creased anything; sat on a stool and twisted up his topknot into a silly loop to keep it out of the way, and poured water down his back. Now he kind of regretted not coming in earlier with Madara, though. Maybe they could have scrubbed each other's back. The water sloshed up and over the sides when he slipped in. He tried not to upend the floating tub as he made his slow, careful way to Madara's side and sat. The water was so hot it left his skin tingling.   "Haven't done this in a while, huh," he mused, nudging against Madara's feet. His brother cracked his eyes open to give him a warning look. "We could have if you would only keep your toes to yourself. Why do you need to sprawl like this?" ... Because Izuna wanted to touch him? He made himself bat his eyelashes, turned his voice syrupy-fake. "Because I love you?" Madara narrowed his eyes a little more. "Uh huh." Izuna laughed. What else could he do.

[xavantina]

I posted 2,645 times in 2022

9 posts created (0%)

2,636 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@i-see-you-jon

@sjweminem

@vildmus

@strideerandflashlightgirl

@powerbottombrucespringsteen

I tagged 1,483 of my posts in 2022

Only 44% of my posts had no tags

#our flag means death - 145 posts

#stranger things - 90 posts

#hannibal - 81 posts

#loki - 73 posts

#succession - 69 posts

#loki series - 68 posts

#mobius m. mobius - 52 posts

#eddie munson - 50 posts

#ugly laughter - 46 posts

#the sandman - 44 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#five minutes of awkward silence eventually replaced by him starting to tell me in detail the workings of elevators and the odds of us dying

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

cries i love your loki memes

Thank you 😊 I appreciate the support of my meme follies.

1 note - Posted October 24, 2022

#4

Spotify being down causing such a level of distress worldwide really says a lot about our lives…

1 note - Posted March 8, 2022

#3

This is my cat. Her everyday name is Good Girl, but her full name (as written on her pedigree) is Good Girls Go to Heaven.

So you can imagine, based on that, how much Meat Loaf’s music means to me. I’m genuinely upset by this loss. I mean yeah, he had deeply problematic political opinions, but in this case I’m happy to separate art from the artist. Bat Out of Hell is one of my favourite albums of all time, ever since I was a child. It’s one of those cases of “your dad played it a lot and you automatically imprinted on it”. I think we owned it on fucking cassette tape? So yeah, his music is intrinsically tied to my childhood.

Rest in peace, Mr. Loaf.

2 notes - Posted January 22, 2022

#2

I am so very bad at actually doing these things, but I was tagged by the lovely and talented @gavotteangel, so I finally got off my butt and went to town.

Fanfic Writer 20 Questions!

1. how many works do you have on ao3? A measly 31. But in my defense, I’m ancient, so I have posted at least twice as many on LiveJournal back in the day.

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 162,236  

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Six are represented on AO3, including a mix of various RPF fandoms, Hannibal, Law and Order: SVU, A Series of Unfortunate Events, and recently Loki. But back in my teenage years I wrote fic in the Lord of the Rings fandom, Harry Potter, and as I got older even more diverse RPF, mostly centered around US political media and, uh... Top Gear. Look, I have a past, okay, leave me alone.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Assemble, a lighthearted, non-graphic-but-still-very-shippy Marvel RPF

As Loud as the Hell You Want, smutty Will Graham/Frederick Chilton

The Ties That Bind, a Barisi soulmate AU

Arrest Me - another Barisi fic, this one smutty

Young Police Cadet Bottoms for Busty Blonde - a Carisi/Amaro (and Carisi/OFC) porn fic where I’m actually super proud of the title. it really sets the tone 😂

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not? Almost always. If you took the time to comment, I will take the time to say thank you. Especially when I get the really juicy comments, like those that quote favourite lines and stuff. I love those comments, they’re so helpful!

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I’m really bad at following through on angst, I wrap that shit up with a vaguely happy ending. That said, Control You is pretty bad. It’s also locked, because I lock RPF religiously. kill them; kill them with fire is technically still a WIP, so it doesn’t count, although it’s some of the angstiest fic I’ve written.

7. do you write crossovers? Not so much these days, but I used to

8. have you ever received hate on a fic? Oh yes, before the US Pundit fandom hid all the RPF away in secret, thoroughly locked LJ communities, there were some pretty ugly instances of hate going around.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? Ahahaha, yes, I do. 23 of those 31 fics are rated E. And it was the same back on LJ.

10. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know.

11. have you ever had a fic translated? I’ve received requests for a couple of fics to be translated into Russian. I gave my permission, but I have no idea if they followed through with it.

12. have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes. Way back when I was 18 I had a 42 year old BFF from California who shared my brand of absurd humour and we co-wrote a sprawling 20K+ Pundit RPF comedy zombie AU, where we took turns writing the chapters as we went along, playing off what the other person had written in the previous chapter. I was a great experience, like the fic equivalent of improv comedy groups. An entire story based on ‘yes, and...’ as a concept.

13. what’s your all-time favorite ship? I can’t possibly answer that question, I’m a bit of a whore in this respect. I mix and match. Although judging from my AO3 account it’s Chilly/Willy and Barisi, and it’s true that I love those ships.

14. what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? kill them; kill them with fire probably. It’s a ASOUE Zombie AU with stand-alone chapters focusing on different characters in different locations, but in a vaguely chronological order. Can you tell that I adore zombie AUs? Anyway, I was very proud of this one, because this particular zombie apocalypse is totally “realistic” in-universe. It takes an existing killer-fungus danger and replaces ‘certain death’ being the result of infection with ‘zombies’ being the result. So yes, it’s The Last of Us-style “zombies”. I actually stole the terminology from there as well, because I couldn’t be bothered with creating too much lore. I never care about the actual zombie horror anyway, I care about the human reaction to a deadly crisis. 

15. what are your writing strengths? A writer I admired very much in ye olden days once told me that I was good at blending genres and moods organically, in those day it was combinations of action, humour, and smut. She then asked me, me, for advice on a fic. I still think about that every single time I feel down.

16. what are your writing weaknesses? Definitely a tendency for overly detailed, flowery, self-indulgently elaborate prose. I spent years forcing myself to use a plain ‘said’ more often, because God knows I struggled with the concept from the beginning. And commas. So many commas. I often joke that Ernest Hemingway would fucking deck me if he was alive and reading my stuff. Oscar Wilde would you rather discuss writing with? Case closed.

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? I think it’s fine in controlled doses, especially if you consult native speakers to confirm that google translate isn’t about to make you look really silly to native speakers of the language in question.

18. what was the first fandom you ever wrote for? Lord of the Rings, I think? At least in English. I was 14 when the first film came out, so it was around then. It was really bad. English is my second language, and my grammar... left something to be desired. Okay, technically I wrote fic for The Hobbit first, because our teacher was pretty cool when it came to assigning various writing challenges, and in this case he made us all write fanfic that should be a twist on the pretty anticlimactic (according to him) ending of the book. I proceeded to literally kill off half the dwarves in a gruesome Smaug-fight. Very indiscriminately, I might add. Completely random. Just piling up dead, scorched dwarves for shits and giggles.

19. what’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written? Okay, bear with me here, but I’m just really proud of Young Police Cadet Bottoms for Busty Blonde. Probably the smuttiest smut I’ve ever written. I enjoyed every second of the writing process, I had a wonderful time, and it lives up to its title in terms of balls to the wall PWP insanity.  A Guide to Recognizing Your Ghosts and Unfortunate Living Arrangements are also up there, because I’m still a Chilton fangirl at heart.

20. who do you tag? all of my old ASOUE peeps! @beatricebidelaire, @virginian-wolfsnake, @kitsnicket etc. etc. You know who you are.

6 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Nine months clean and sober. The party I’m dolled up for is for my dad’s though, he turns 60 today.

48 notes - Posted March 27, 2022

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[upstartcrow42]

Fic Writer Interview

Thanks for the tag, @chelsfic!

How many works do you have on AO3?

16

What’s your total AO3 word count?

201,056 👀

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

If we’re just counting AO3, then it’s just one. What We Do in the Shadows. I’ve only had this username for a year. Under different names in different places I have other fics for other fandoms. That would bring the grand total up to 5. I tend to have huge fic dry spells.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

66 - Especially For You - Nandor/Guillermo. Gen - Gift fic for @jujubeas. Guillermo is injured (very minor) and Nandor cares for him by buying him food from Panera Bread.

44 - Tell Me Things Will Be Okay - Nandor/Guillermo. Gen - Gift fic for @riskylatte and a collaboration with @andyandnormski. Nandor tries to calm Guillermo’s frayed nerves after they arrive home from the theater massacre.

35 - The Protocols of Revenge - Nandor/Nadja that leads to Nandor/Nadja/Laszlo. NSFW - My first fic for the fandom. Laszlo makes Nadja made, so Nandor proposes revenge. Nadja eventual relents but on the condition that Laszlo watch.

33 - Just Right - Nandor/Guillermo. Gen. Gift fic for @andyandnormski. A seasonal storm spooks Guillermo, so Nandor takes matters into his own hands as far as his relaxation goes. Naturally, things go awry.

32- He Demands Satisfaction. - Nandor/Guillermo Gen. Tumblr Prompt request for @andyandnormski. Nandor and Guillermo are taking their relationship to new levels post theater massacre, but the threat of sunlight puts a damper on things. 

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I get so few comments on my fics these days, so I reply to them all. I understand why people don’t comment on fics, especially NSFW ones, but I love hearing from readers, even if the comment is super short. I love getting replies back from authors when I comment, so I try to do the same for anyone who comments on my fics. I like engaging with the readers.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Rooftop Reflections. Nandor/Nadja. She’s been missing Laszlo since he want on the run and tries to escape by sitting on the roof. Nandor joins her and then leaves her be. She is really bummed out at the end after Nandor leaves and has to be alone with her thoughts about Laszlo.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not yet, but I’m not against.

I’ve been wanting do a weird one with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/What We Do in the Shadows. They’re both in NYC, and they both have to keep to the shadows, so it makes sense that they’d run into each other. Leonardo vs. Nandor as leaders, lol. Donatello and Colin Robinson getting into technical details about topics. Raphael and Nadja being just the rudest. Micaelangelo and Laszlo straight up chillin’. And Master Splinter and Guillermo shaking their head at their charges acting like such fools.

I’ve also thought about them running away to Canada and meeting the crew from Letterkenny.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

When I was writing HP, yes. It was mainly about how I was ending my chapters, and to be fair, the endings were not great for what I was trying to achieve (setting up some context - kind of omncient). I’m pretty sure I’ve deleted all of those from existence now.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Most definitely. I’ve written mainly mlw and wlw with reference to mlm. I’ve also written OT3 situations with mmw.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of. How does that even happen?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes.

I mentioned Tell Me Things will be okay earlier. Andy and I were very equal partners on that one and it was fun take their lead and then run with it and then see what they came up with next.

Nandor the Relentless: Conqueror of Courting. Nandor/Guillermo. A round robin fic where ideas were thrown out and shaped as a team. Nandor tries to court Guillermo in one-sided fake dating scenarios to protect him. I contributed to the last chapter of this gem of a fic series. I’m really proud that Nandor’s lament of the Windsor name was kept in.

Shoot Your Shot. Fendermo. Another round robin known by the writers as the Basketball AU. Nandor is a WNBA pro and Guillermo is her assistant. They’re even stupider in this story than in the show. It’s not complete, but one day we’ll finish it. I’m really proud of the text chain I wrote in the first chapter.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I know nearly all the stories I’ve talked about are Nandermo, but that’s not my all time favorite ship. I don’t know if I can really pick a favorite. It’s just Nandor/Anyone really.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Chance Encounter. Nandor/Silvia de la Cruz (Guillermo’s mom). NSFW. I’m only afraid I won’t finish it because I’m stuck on the next part for how the story should flow now that the smut is out of the way.

What are your writing strengths?

I’ve been told that I’m good and smooth dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I use the same descriptive language too much. The same facial expressions and dialogue reactions. I also need to work on differentiating my imagery and adding more figurative language to my stories. I love seeing that in other people’s works, but suddenly forget to do it in my own.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love to see it, or even incorporating English language learning sentence structures into fics for characters whose primary language is not English. When I write in another language, I have had a friend who can speak that language check my work and phrasing to make it sound realistic. There was a lot of that in A Chance Encounter and @theoceanismyinkwell was immensely helpful with the Spanish dialogue and the Spanish Speaker in speaking in English lines too.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The first one I ever published on a fic site was Gundam Wing. I really hope that is not floating around still as I can’t even remember the site it was pubished on. It was peak cringe.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

It’s not complete, but Written in the Stars has consumed an epic amount of my time. The word count alone is two novels worth. It’s been fun to look into Nandor’s past, but also make him somewhat of a softie at that time too for a fic that could be otherwise very dark (there are defintely some mildly dark elements, but it’s generally just regular flavor NSFW). And it’s fun to take a semi-canon character who has one trait and flesh her out into a full person. At least I hope she comes across that way.

Tagging: @safetyhazardfics

@walkwithursus

@andyandnormski

@mapnerdbloodbag

@satincowboys

@nandoor

[loyally-unfaithful]

—; don’t run from me river

word count: 2605

pairing: upgraded connor | rk900/gender-neutral!reader

genre: hurt/comfort

summary: nines filed the results of the system check to the back of his mind, to be analysed later, and sighed. he wasn’t originally programmed to sigh, but he sure did it alot nowadays. he sighed once more. this check would most likely return like the previous few, [ all systems optimal; functionality: 100% ]. so why does his processor stutter, causing him to freeze and catch his voice in his throat, when he was around you? there was only one logical explanation: he was broken.

a/n: ya boi is an idiot who made more wips than he could handle,,,, but anyway i wanted to write a nines fic because,,,,,,,,,,,, idk inspiration struck? i must admit i had no idea where i was going w this fic skfksfjaskdfhjk btw nines is deviant in this fic, i just have a hc that since he was forced into deviancy (unlike the 3 protagonists who reached some sort of catharsis) he isn’t as familiar with emotions as those 3, hence his difficulty identifying and expressing them. also rk800-60 and rk900 have assigned names, being colin (nickname sixty) and conan (nickname nines) respectively. connor is just connor lmao,,,,, i am god in my fics and i decide that my 3 bois are bros and happy lil deviants,,,, mk, go!

the ambiance inside the bar was loud and suffocating. many people came to celebrate an officer’s promotion to detective, and while nines wasn’t particularly close to them, he showed up regardless (although a certain duo of rk800 models may or may not have had something to do with his decision). mere formalities; he politely congratulated them and stepped away to ruminate on his own in a corner, absently watching the scene in front of him. for a reason that escaped him, he was (disappointed?) (hurt?) that you got along with colin. he still experienced anomalies in his system when near you, even after being told that he was perfectly fine at the maintenance centre. if the problem wasn’t from within, then there was only one probable cause: an outside factor. a recurring event. one that triggered these anomalies. you.

so he requested to change partners. now, he really wished he didn’t.

while you have taken to your new partner wonderfully, he wasn’t as gracious with his. between reed’s incessant snide remarks and overall unwillingness to cooperate, he’d much rather be deactivated. he found himself missing your partnership. for one, your cooperativeness was a relief. you were determined, passionate and kind. truthfully, he missed you. the shine in your eyes when you find a lead, your composure and professionalism, the soothing quality of your voice, the way you’d let you hand linger in his, how your features softened when you smiled—smiled at hi— he caught himself. why did that last part come to mind? how did you still manage to affect him when you’re so far away? he was about to check why when a laughter caught his attention. your wonderful  laughter. One he was oh so familiar with. you were laughing with his brother, probably at another of his bad jokes. seeing you happy with him stirred an ugly feeling inside him. one that he did not recognise nor acknowledge. one that caused him to glare at his older counterpart.

he was miserable after parting ways from you, having to deal with reed’s complaining. he was hurt, he was away from you and it didn’t feel right. this distance between you two manifested as physical pain on his part, so how come you were fine? how were you able to move on in your life as if nothing happened? sadness and hurt turned into something more despicable: how dare you not feel the same pain he did? seeing you so happy twisted the knife deeper in his heart. how could you? conflicting emotions; he wanted to see you happy. he also wanted to see you suffer with him.

his glowering must’ve been pretty obvious as connor “addressed” him, asking if he was alright, to which he replied with a curt « all systems fully functional ». clearly the wrong answer as the rk800 frowned slightly and asked him to follow him. nines did as told. you watched him as he left, but he’d never know that.

the alleyway wasn’t the cleanest of places, but it was private and quiet enough that the two could converse verbally. connor watched his younger brother, concern in his eyes, and tentatively threaded the topic of his relationship with you. nines squinted his eyes fractionally as he observed his brother, pausing before dismissing anything connor may have assumed: « i don’t know what you’re trying to insinuate. the older model raised a brow in as he doubted his younger counterpart’s words. – you’ve been scowling at them for the past few minutes. – everything is perfectly fine between the detective and i. he forced out, probably more defensive and harsh than he meant it to be, as his brother’s eyes widened slightly, flashing with something akin to recognition. there was a pause before connor spoke up. – are you… jealous? he finally asked. »

nines looked a bit more than scandalised as the thought of being jealous, face contorted to slight disgust: « that’s preposterous. he scoffed. jealous? jealous of what? connor thought back about the scene before he intervened: nines was glaring intensely at you and colin, just after you laughed at one of his quips. – well for one, of collin. how he managed to get the detective’s attention. maybe you’re yearning for theirs, for their affection. his proposition has certainly made nines realise something as his eyes widened, making him look like a deer caught in the headlights. – what are you trying to say? his voice wavered in unsurety. – what i’m trying to say is tha— » he didn’t manage to finish his statement as another voice, not too dissimilar to his own cut him off, announcing how “nines had the hots” for you. connor looked slightly irked at being interrupted while nines quickly dismissed the statement before fully processing it. colin was slightly taken aback by the quick rejection, before smirked mischievously: « great! then you wouldn’t mind if i asked them out right? – colin! exclaimed his twin. »

a sudden rage took over nines’ body as he pushed colin out of the doorway and stormed back inside the bar. a few beats passed before connor threw a chastising look at his twin, which colin shrugged nonchalantly to.

yes, nines knew what dating was. he knew that if two individuals were to harbour romantic feelings for each other, they would come together and be “dating each other”.

date /dāt/ verb gerund or present participle: dating 3. go out with (someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested).

technically, it was fine. logically, it was fine. he didn’t own you. if you were to date his brother, then that would be your choice. but the thought of you being close and loving someone other than him felt so incredibly wrong. he wanted to leave. he needed to leave. this is all too much. he had feelings for you? he needed time to digest that statement. in his rush to get out, he accidentally bumped into another person, who made a small « oof » and an apology. he was about to apologise as well when you both realised who you were talking to.

« nines! i’ve been looking for you! can we… uh, talk? » he realised from this distance that he could smell your scent: lavender, fabric softener, and something pleasant that was unmistakably you. he nodded and followed you absentmindedly. how did you have this power to erase all thoughts from his mind, make him think of you and only you? has he really fallen for you? you both went outside, a distance away from the bar’s entrance when you finally restarted the conversation: « nines. – detective. » you bit your lips at that reply, and he realised now you looked tired, that radiant smile absent. « look, nines, i- i’m not dense, okay?... i-i know when someone’s avoiding me. – what do you mean detect— – i thought i told you that it was alright to call me by my first name… look, i… by “avoiding” i mean this. acting like you don’t know me. speaking to me as if we were just “coworkers”. acting like we aren’t friends. you sounded tired, the lilt in your voice that he has grown accustomed to sullen. – i’m not avoiding you. he lied, but he knew you were smarter than that. – nines please don’t lie… this distance… between us. i don’t understand, nines. your voice cracked. what happened? Why are you doing this? »

watching you hurt inside because of him was worse than any punishment he could’ve received. any and all previous wishes for you to suffer was quickly erased. he’s much rather suffer alone than watch you break. he took hesitant steps back. away from you. distancing himself from you. you noticed his actions and whispered a desperate « nines… please… » he wanted to run away. he wanted to stay. he wanted to leave and pretend this conversation never happened. he wanted to hold you and tell you everything: his fears, his doubts, his growing affection for you. in the end, he found himself running away from his problems like a coward. you didn’t bother to chase after him, desperately crying out « please… please don’t run from me conan. », last part choked out as you tried to hold yourself together. hearing your voice crack and waver because of him was awful. he wanted to turn back. comfort you. But his body didn’t obey him. when he finally stopped to pay attention to where he was going, he was right back at his shared flat. he swallowed dryly and moved to enter his house, a solemn air around him.

the next few days were absolutely torturous. he increased his initiative to avoid you, never seen in the same place as you, much to your chagrin. an act so blatant than someone as ignorant as reed noticed, an act that become the core of his recent round of taunts. avoiding you hurt. so why did he continue to do it? the thought of approaching the subject made him go cold. it immobilised him, stopped him from uttering a single word. a quick search told him he was scared. nervous. for rejection. he doesn’t know if his heart could take much more. he does resolve to tell you one day… just… not today…

but maybe he should’ve taken the chance when it was presented to him, as he may never get one again.

you died. well, you almost did. his mind jumping to the worst case scenarios as anxiety filled his system. arrest gone wrong. gunshot. 9mm bullets embedded within your abdomen. what if it hit your vascular system? you were rushed into the er. he knew that in this profession, the chances for an individual to get shot rises. but he didn’t expect to grow so attached to one of them. so as the surgeons work to quickly remove all bullets from your body, he sat, rigid, as he waited for the procedure to be done. he fiddled anxiously with his coin when your partner placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. he mechanically glanced at its owner, who told him to not worry, that you’re “too much of a stubborn ass” to die from this event. he didn't acknowledge colin’s input as he continues to play with the quarter. he should’ve told you. told you when he had the chance.

the clock ticked. and ticked. and ticked. when finally, the surgeon informed the two that you were alright. they managed to take out all the bullets. your condition was stable. you were ok. heavily sedated and going to be in a lot of pain. but you were ok. nines didn’t stop the heavy sigh of relief that escaped him. the doctor told them that visits will be allowed as soon as you were settled in recovery. he was going to tell you. he told himself, like an unspoken promise. he was going to tell you then. it’s the least you deserve. he was going to apologise and come clean. hopefully you’ll have it in you to forgive him.

when you finally came to, your body ached, you didn’t want to move, so you settled with eyeing your room. what happened? you were chasing this guy… and he pulled out a gun… pain and then darkness. and now you’re here. the recovery room was filled with gifts and get-well soon cards. balloons of assorted colours filled the room, bouquets of diverse types of flowers adorned the table.

« you’re awake. »

you turned your head at the source, seeing connor at the doorway. « how—you cleared your throat—how long was i gone for? you asked, voice raspy. – around 3 days and a half. you’d gain consciousness a few times, but you were too heavily sedated to be fully coherent. he explained as he took a seat near the bed. you groaned. – gosh that long? connor nodded. how’s colin? – doing pretty well all things considered. he does, however, feel immensely guilty about failing to protect you. – well, tell him it’s not his fault and that i forgive everything he’s blaming himself with. you worried about him. despite sixty’s mischievous exterior, he had a tendency to get himself stuck in a depressive loop of self-deprecation. connor smiled graciously. – will do… he placed a paper cup filled with what you assumed was thirium on the floor. how are you feeling? – everything hurts but i’ll live, you quipped. » the android chuckled and was about to reply when a knock caught both of your attention. the door creaked slightly open, as nines peered in. he hesitated before asking if he may speak with you. the “alone” part being left unsaid as connor bid you farewell and left.

you and your former partner were locked in an intense stareoff, you on the bed on one end and him glued to the door on the other. he took tentative steps towards you. closing that distance. when he was besides your bed, he nervously called out your name. you parroted him, mustering out a curt « conan. » he took a deep breath that he technically didn’t need and whispered out an apology: « i… i’m sorry. for everything i’ve caused—for all the hurt i’ve caused… for what it’s worth… i never meant for all this to happen. » his voice was clipped as guilt overcame him. you watched him, silent as ever. he wished you would say something, anything. the silence was deafening.

« then please tell me why… he promised himself that he’d come clean. – i… i don’t… i don’t think i know... for sure… i experienced anomalies in my system when i was around you.. you’d consume my every thought, i’d feel immobilised and i… i’ve been told that i’m being nervous… i’ve been told that i harboured romantic feelings for you… i-i don’t know. i… i yearn for your attention, your touch, your affection… but is it right for something like me to desire such a thing? am-am i broken…? his voice was barely a whisper when he choked out the lay part, and he waited for his response, growing more anxious as each second ticked by. what if you didn’t want him? what if he wasn’t enough? – no, you aren’t broken. you shook your head. just human. »

nines. confident and assured nines was an insecure and trembling mess as he poured out all of the doubts that plagued his mind. your heart aches as you wished to comfort him, so you do. you reached out, best you can, and grabbed him into a bone crushing hug. an action that took him by surprised as he stiffened at your touch. but he soon relaxed and carefully snaked his arms around your waist, returning the hug. you slowly caressed his hair as he nuzzled into your neck.

you both stay like this for a moment, relishing in each others presence, before you spoke up again: « it’s okay to be unsure, you know. he stopped his nuzzling, indicating to you that he was listening. if you don’t feel ready at the moment… if you just wanna be friends for the time being, i’m ok with that. and if one day you decide that you want to be more, just remember i’ll be right here. » you pressed a gentle kiss on the crown of his head and stayed in that position for a while, neither wanting to part ways, but this awkwardly positioned hug took a toll on your back so the both of you half heartedly pulled away from each other. hands holding the other’s, you asked for one more request: « just promise me one thing. – anything, he breathed out. – please… don’t ever run from me again. – never. he promised, fully intending to fulfill said request. »

« thank you. »

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[ahgastae]

phantasm (pt.1) – namjoon x reader

➥ word count: 1.6k | fluff

➥ m.list

➥ a/n: this is a wip i’ve been saving for a while lol. it’s *technically* a rewrite of an extremely old one-shot i had that didn’t quite turn out how i wanted it so here we are!! i’m thinking of making it a series that i kinda just update whenever i feel like/have time to work on it but idk. feedback is always appreciated, and thanks for reading! ♡

An aggravated sigh leaves your lips, giving up on yet another failed attempt to force the basement door open. The metal handle remains stuck no matter what you do or how hard you push, and at this point you’re starting to run out of ideas. 

Part of you wonders how you managed to get yourself into this situation; locked in the basement of some musty, old abandoned hospital. It’s not exactly everyday people willingly wander into places like this, and you would normally be one of the ones who stayed as far away as fucking possible.

So what changed? What made you take the risk? And how the hell are you going to get yourself out of this?

“Why in the hell would I ever want to do that?” You quirk a brow at your best friend, popping another fry into your mouth as you do. “Actually, scratch that, why the hell would you ever agree to that?” 

The unamused look on Hoseok’s face makes you want to laugh, but you cover it up with another sip of your chocolate shake.

“Because,” Hoseok grumbles with a roll of his eyes, “those little shits can be very persuasive when they want to be. I didn’t want to be the only one in the group who didn’t go, you know?”

You nod your head understandingly, “So you didn’t want to be the one to pussy out.”

“Y/N!”

You burst into a fit of laughter, barely dodging the onion ring he throws your way. Hoseok rolls his eyes again, and the furrow in his brow makes you realize he’s a lot more serious about this than you first thought.

“Okay, okay.” By the time you manage to contain yourself, his scowl has softened slightly. “But if all the guys are going, why do you want me to go so badly?”

Hoseok scoffs, “Uh, are you kidding? That place is going to be creepy as all hell, and I need my best friend there to provide some serious emotional support. And to keep Jungkook from posting videos of me freaking out on Twitter again.”

You both cringe, clearly remembering the last time he got sucked into one of these “adventurous” outings. Jungkook got the silent treatment for a solid three weeks because that clip of Hoseok screaming at a pigeon went viral. The kid still apologizes to this day, but you have a sneaking suspicion he’s behind some of the (admittedly hilarious) edits that have cropped up.

It makes sense for that reason alone as to why Hoseok would want you to tag along, but you’re honestly just as much of a scaredy cat as he is. You’re a lot better at keeping it under wraps, though, always coming up with some excuse for why you can’t go exploring whatever creepy abandoned place his friends want to check out next. But Hoseok has never been the one to ask until now, and you’re more than a little conflicted about it.

“I don’t know, Hobi,” You sigh, glancing down at your half eaten burger. “This has always kinda been your guys’ thing, you know? I’m not really into any of that.”

“Honestly, most of us aren’t, either,” Hoseok shrugs. “The only ones who really like it are Tae, Yoongi, and Kook. The rest of us are kinda just along for the ride.”

“You mean the ride through every possibly haunted, definitely dangerous place in the area.”

“Yeah…”

A small silence falls in between you, and you briefly wonder how in the hell he ever thought this was meant to convince you. Sure, he took you out to lunch, said you could get as many milkshake refills as you desired, put on those heart wrenching puppy dog eyes that you always have to struggle to ignore. But is it really worth getting the shit scared out of you with him and his six friends? One of whom might “accidentally” post a video of you losing your mind over something stupid?

You aren’t ready to become a Twitter meme!

With that terrifying thought, your mind is finally made up. You’re just about to open your mouth and tell Hoseok you just absolutely cannot–

“Joonreallywantedtoknowifyouweregoingtocome!”

The words leave his mouth in a jumbled mess, but you make them out clear as day. You should’ve known that’s the game he was playing. There’s no way Jung Hoseok would come to you with a request like this without having some kind of backup plan. And, unfortunately, his role as your best friend means he knows all about your little crush on the de facto leader of his friend group. You just never thought he’d be so prepared to openly exploit it.

“So what do you say?” Hoseok bites his lip from across the table, and you have a sneaking suspicion he already knows what your answer is going to be.

“...Fine. I’ll go on your stupid ghost trip,” You grumble, a bright smile appearing on Hoseok’s face as he starts to thank you rapidly. “But I’ll break that kid’s phone if he so much as tries to record me!”

Your threat falls on deaf ears, Hoseok already whipping out his phone to presumably tell the other guys. Part of you wants to be mad that you let yourself get played so easily, but does it really count if you knew that’s what he was trying to do?

Eh, whatever. At least he’s happy. And who knows? Maybe you’ll actually end up enjoying yourself after all.

So that was a fucking lie.

You haven’t even been out of the car for five minutes, and you’re already starting to regret leaving your apartment this afternoon. Hoseok said you guys were going to check out some old hospital on the outskirts of town when he picked you up, but you had no idea he meant this far out.

The woods surrounding the “hospital” aren’t particularly thick, but it’s just enough to where you know it’ll terrify the shit out of you when the sun starts to go down. You’re honestly not sure if you’d rather be stuck out here or in the creepy ass building in front of you when that happens. But, if all the guys currently standing around Taehyung’s truck are anything to go by, that decision might be made a lot sooner than you think.

 “Y/N!” One of them suddenly calls, breaking you out of your thoughts. “Stop being a weenie and get your ass over here!”

Rolling your eyes, you push yourself off from your spot leaning against Hoseok’s car and make your way over to the truck bed. The three younger ones are huddled around some sheets of paper in the bed while Jin and Hoseok fiddle with some flashlights and batteries near the open passenger seat. You head over to Hoseok first, curious about the two missing from your party. 

“Hey, where are Joon and Yoongi? I thought you said everyone was coming.”

“Don’t worry, they’ll be here,” Hoseok laughs. “Joonie just had to finish up some stuff at work real quick. I’m sure they won’t be long.”

You nod, crossing your arms and scanning over the building in front of you. It definitely looks old. What used to be white paint has faded to a dark, muddy grey, and the windows are either smashed to bits or boarded over with moldy planks of wood. There’s stray graffiti scattered all over the place, the parking lot barely distinguishable from the overgrown weeds and shrubs surrounding the area.

Honestly, everything about it just screams “Danger! Stay the fuck away!” to you. How in the hell did the guys even find this place?

“Ah, fucking finally!”

You’re jolted out of your thoughts once again by one of the boys shouting from the truck bed. It must have been Jungkook, since he’s the one who jumps out and starts running towards the car pulling into the clearing.

Wait, a car? That could only mean-

The car slows to a stop behind Taehyung’s truck, and sure enough, you can just barely see the two boys you were asking about waving to you all inside. Well, one of them is waving. The other seems to be focused on parking without running over the energetic Kook jumping around the car.

You can kind of relate to the younger boy’s excitement, but the butterflies in your stomach are for an entirely different reason.

“What took you guys so long?” Jungkook whines, greeting the two newcomers as soon as they step out of the vehicle. “We were supposed to get into the building before it got dark!”

“I know, I know,” Namjoon apologizes. “We would’ve been here a lot sooner, but-”

“But someone kept insisting on grading ‘one more spelling quiz’ before we left.”

Yoongi’s grumpy pout is as evident as ever as he wholeheartedly throws his roommate under the bus. The three of them have joined the rest of the group now, the other two youngsters leaning over the side of the truck bed.

“You weren’t thinking of ditching us for some second graders, were you, Mr. Kim?” Taehyung teases, quirking an amused brow.

Jimin falls into giggles, “That sounds exactly like something he would do!”

“Hey, I promised the kids I would have them all handed back by Monday!”

Namjoon’s desperate attempts to defend himself are ignored, and you can’t help but smile at the small pout that crosses his face. It’s short lived, though, as Jungkook soon calls everyone’s attention back to him as he hops back up onto Taehyung’s truck.

“Alright, losers, now that we’re all finally here,” A mischievous grin grows on the maknae’s lips. “let’s get down to business.”

[calumance]

La Devotee - Part XIV

Warnings: cussing (probably), gets a little racy but not many details, fluff

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: The first night with Calum gone, Emily decided to get a little brave over FaceTime.

A/N: It’s Saturday (kind of, it’s midnight so technically it’s Sunday), but as promised I am updating so that I don’t forget about this lovely WIP. Thank you to everyone who continues to read!! 💖💖🥰🥰(also thank you to @thesubtweeter​ for finding that gif for me, love you mucho 😘)  Feedback and requests are always welcomed!!! (Want to be tagged? Let me know!)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII

Masterlist

        After the guys were out of sight, Crystal held onto me and allowed me to cry for a while. Once I composed myself and we walked out together. She parted from me as I approached Calum’s Range Rover, and I waved at her. I was standing at the driver’s door, I realized I had never driven Calum’s car, only driven in it. If it had been up to me, we would’ve taken my car, but he thought his baggage fit better in the back of his car. As I sat in the driver’s seat, I ran my hands up and down on the steering wheel. I turned the key in the ignition and listened as the engine roared to life. Before pulling out of the parking spot, I dialed Mikayla’s number. If I didn’t actively talk to someone, I was going to cry the entire way home.

        “Hey, Em.” She knew today was the day Calum was leaving, and she knew how it was absolutely destroying me. “How’d it go?” Even though I knew she would literally take my call at any point during the day, I glanced to the clock to see what time it was. A sigh fell from my chest realizing she was at lunch, it meant I had the entire drive home to talk to her.

        “I ugly cried in the middle of the airport.” I ran my hand over my forehead and sighed. “I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I just, sobbed, and it’s not even like he isn’t coming back. I just wasn’t ready.” My elbow leaned on the edge by the window as I turned onto the highway.

        She sighed, trying to console me. “Did you tell him?” I wanted to slam my head on the steering wheel. Of course I wanted to tell him, that would’ve been the best moment to tell him. It took everything in me to not tell him. My resounding silence gave away my answer. “Emily, why did you not tell him? You made it very clear to me that you want to tell him in person, that was your last chance for the next two months.” She kept going.

        I hit my hand on the steering wheel, the anxiety and the anger finally boiling over. “Because what if he doesn’t love me back?” I yelled, and she stopped talking, almost as if I stole her voice right out of her throat. I cleared my throat and spoke softer, “What if he’s not at the same point I am in our relationship? I don’t want to tell him I love him right as he’s leaving for tour and have him just say, like, ‘okay’ or something.” Mikayla stayed quiet, just letting out a sigh. My eyes closed for a split second, trying to calm my own mind. “I know I should’ve told him, but he didn’t exactly make me feel as if he wanted to hear it.”

        The sound of her fork clinking told me she was getting frustrated with me. “Emily, he is in love with you. It’s obvious by the way he looks at you. He’s probably just waiting for you to say it first.” My stomach twisted with regret, but it wasn’t like I could go back and say it. With a sigh and another minute of absolute silence, I changed the subject and continued to drive towards the house. Our timing was perfect since right as I pulled into the driveway, Mikayla said it was time to go back to work. I bid her a goodbye and quickly made my way into the house.

        The house was eerily quiet, and eerily empty. My heart twisted as I placed Calum’s car keys in the bowl next to the door. Duke came padding towards me, tail wagging. As I walked behind him toward the back door, I pulled my phone out of my pocket to text Calum. “I just got home. It’s quiet here without you. I hope you have a safe flight. Call me when you land. Xx” My phone found it’s home in my pocket as I tried to continue the rest of my afternoon alone.

        It was around nine in the evening when I found myself cuddled underneath a blanket on the couch with Duke sleeping in the bend of my knees. My phone started to ring, causing both Duke and me to jump. Realizing how long it had been since I got home, I scrambled to grab my phone. My stomach filled with butterflies seeing his face on my screen. “Hey, handsome.” I answered, my bottom lip finding its way between my teeth.

        “Hey, sunshine. We just landed, we’re headed for the hotel and then we have an insanely busy day tomorrow.” His voice was like angels singing. My stomach twisted as all I could think about was touching and kissing him.

        My eye shut and I rubbed my cheek. “I’m glad you had a safe flight. Do you want to face time me once you get to your hotel room?”

        “Yeah, I should be settled in like a half hour. I’ll call you then?” There was voices all around him, sounding like they were directing him. Then it suddenly got loud, like he was in a crowd. “I’m sorry, babe, I have to let you go. Talk to you in a bit.” I wasn’t able to get a word in before he hung up. I tapped my phone against my forehead a few times before standing up and heading towards the bedroom. Duke followed behind me and jumped onto the bed. I started shuffling through the drawers that held my clothes remembering I had something that I had bought a long time ago that Calum would enjoy.

        I looked at myself in the mirror, the blue lace nightie still fitting the way it had when I bought it almost four years ago. I lifted my arm and ripped the tag that was still attached off and then spun around and looked at the little dog who’s tail began to wag. “What do you think? You think your pops will like this?” Duke barked as if he completely understood what I was saying and I giggled, leaning forward to scratch under his chin.

        Just as I finished scratching Duke’s chin, my phone rang. I answered, holding my phone just far enough that Calum was only able to see from my shoulders up. When he showed up on my screen, he was laying on a bed, covered in white sheets. He looked tired, but not tired enough to flash me a bright smile. “Hello, my love.” He said while lifting his free hand to place it under his head.

        “How’s the hotel, darling?” I sat on the end of our bed and held onto the phone. Duke trotted up next to me and I looked down at him.

        Calum shrugged and looked around. “It’s alright. I’ve stayed in so many hotels that they all are kind of the same at this point. Nothing will be as good as my own bed with my girl in it.” He turned to reach for the lamp and I felt my cheeks flush.

        “Your girl, huh?” He looked at the phone, a smirk pulling at his lips. He just nodded, and then put his hand back under his head. My eyes flickered down at my specially chosen outfit for him, and I pulled my lips into my mouth out of nervousness. “You don’t have to share your room or anything, do you?”

        He shook his head. “No, we always get our own rooms. I love those guys, but not that much.” He chuckled and I couldn’t help but chuckle back.

        My eyes flickered back to my phone screen, and I pulled my eyebrows together. “Can I show you something?” He nodded, eyebrows furrowing. I pushed myself off the bed and held onto the phone perfectly still as I placed it on the TV stand. “Promise you’ll be nice?”

        He rolled his eyes and chuckled, “I’ll be nice, what are you going to show me?” After I was sure my phone was stationary, I stood up, exposing the lace outfit. His eyes widened and he shifted so that he was sitting up and ran his hand that had been under his head down his face. His fingers paused on his lips, but the wide smile behind his fingers could not be hidden. “When did you get that?”

        I looked down and ran my hands down my sides. “Like, four years ago? I’ve never worn it, the tags were still on it when I just put it on.” My head lifted back to my screen and I bit my bottom lip. “Do you like it?”

        Calum let out a breath and ran his hand through his hair. “Fuck, yeah, I like it. What does the back look like?” He asked, his face flushing a slight pink. As he chewed on his bottom lip, I turned to show him the open back and the large amount of exposed skin. He released his lip and replaced it with his finger and stared at the phone, his eyes darkening. As I turn back around, he smirks and runs his hand through his hair again, only this time leaving his hand on the top of his head. “So, if this is what I get for being gone one night, what am I going to get when I’m gone for thirty nights?”

        I smiled and shifted my weight, biting my bottom lip. “Not sure, I guess we’ll have to see in thirty days.” As I picked up my phone, Calum blinked and his eyes returned to their normal color. Calum cleared his throat as I sat back at the end of the bed. “I think I might go change and get ready for bed. Do you want me to let you go and we can talk tomorrow?”

        Calum ran his hand up and down his cheek, “Can I see your outfit one more time?” I nodded and put my phone back on the TV stand. “You’re so beautiful, Emily. Can I see the back again?” Without a word, I turned around. “Thanks, baby. I just wanted to see you one more time. Will you call me back when you get into bed?” I smiled and nodded. He smiled back and hung up.

        After I was sure he had hung up, I pulled out a pair of shorts and grabbed one of Calum’s sweatshirts that he left behind. Duke and I traveled around the house for a while, making sure everything was locked up and grabbed a glass of water. Once all the lights were off and I was sure the doors were locked, Duke and I made our way back to the bedroom. Duke jumped back onto the bed as I set my glass on the night stand and then made my way into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I leaned against the door frame to stare at the empty bed in front of me, Duke’s tail wagging slightly, as if to remind me that it wasn’t completely empty.

        I climbed into bed, leaving the blanket around my hips. The face time tone rang out a few times before it ended and asked if I wanted to try again. Today had been a long day, so it wasn’t surprising that he probably fell asleep in the amount of time it took me to get ready for bed. After I placed my phone on the night stand, I rolled onto my side and pulled Calum’s sweater over my nose to take in the scent of his cologne. Tonight was going to be a rough night.

        My eyes were wide open when my alarm started going off. I closed my eyes in frustration and groaned. The entire night as spent tossing and turning. If this is how I am going to sleep every night for the next two months, then I have no idea how I am going to survive. I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest and rubbed my eyes before stretching my arm out to shut my alarm off. As I shut the alarm off, I grabbed my phone and saw there was a text message from Calum. The time stamp was from two hours ago. He must’ve had problems sleeping as well. “I’m sorry I missed your call, sunshine. I fell asleep, been tossing and turning all night. Have to be up in a few hours for an interview, I miss you so, so much. Have a great day at work. Xx Cal.”

        I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and tapped a message back to him. “It’s okay, you had a long day yesterday. I tossed and turned all night as well, the next two months are going to be horrible. Have a great day as well, honey. Xx” My phone bounced a little as I tossed it onto the bed to head into the bathroom to shower, and get ready for work.

        My shower felt refreshing, but it still didn’t rid of the exhaustion sitting behind my eyes. After curling my hair and putting on my make up, I pulled on a pair of tight black jeans, a white tank top, a pale pink, loose fitting, long sleeved button up, and a pair of pointed toe high heels, the same color as my top. I grabbed my phone and placed it in my back pocket as I opened the bedroom door and followed Duke into the kitchen. The door slid open as I opened it for him and he went bounding outside into the grassy patch in the backyard. I left the door open for Duke to come back in when he was done when I turned and started making my coffee. Duke came trotting back in as soon as I put his food bowl down on the ground and gave the top of his head a light scratch.

        After locking the back door, I grabbed my bag, and my coffee and squatted next to Duke, “Have a good day, handsome boy.” I kissed the top of his head and headed out the front door, locking it behind me.

        “Welcome back!” Mikayla announced, turning in her chair to greet me. “How was your first night with Calum gone?” Mikayla put the straw hanging out of her cup to her lips as she spun to watch me as I made my way to my desk.

        I placed my bag in the bottom drawer and closed it with my foot. “I tossed and turned all night. I don’t know how I’m going to survive two months.” Mikayla gave me a look asking if anything else happened. I placed my hands over my face in embarrassment as I plopped down into my chair. “I found this lace outfit I’ve had for a long time. The tags were still on it, I figured he’d enjoy it.” She raised her eyebrows. “It was your idea! Why are you acting so surprised?”

        She dropped the straw out of her mouth and laughed in offense, “I told you to do something sexy, not basically stand naked in front of the phone.”

        “Oh god.” I laughed and put my hands over my face again. “I don’t even know how to top that? Now he’s going to expect me to be half naked every time he calls me at night.” My phone vibrated in my back pocket and I pulled it out. “Busy day ahead of me. I’ll FaceTime you tonight when I get back to the hotel. Thinking about you, I know I haven’t seen you today, but you look beautiful. Xx Cal.”

        My cheeks flushed, and I tapped my phone, trying to think of what to say back. “Thank you, maybe I’ll take a picture and send it to you later. Can’t wait for the FaceTime date tonight. Sorry I don’t have any sexy outfits planned. Xx”

        The gray bubble appeared and I waited for the message to come through. “That’s okay, sunshine. I just want to see you, it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing. I would love a picture, you always dress so wonderfully for work. Michael says hi. Xx Cal.” I set my phone on my desk and concentrated on my work before my boss bit my head off.

        When lunch came around, I told Mikayla that I’d meet her downstairs. As I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, I pushed the door to the restroom open. Quickly, I stood in front of the floor length mirror and snapped a picture of myself. Before leaving the restroom, I sent the picture to Calum without a caption. When I opened the door Mikayla was standing on the other side, causing me to jump out of my skin. “What-cha doing, Em?”

        “I know what this looks like, but all I did was send him a picture of my outfit.” I turned my phone towards her to prove it. Mikayla shook her head with a laugh and we walked together towards the elevator. Once we stepped into the elevator, I sighed. “Do you want to come spend the night on Friday?”

        “I thought you’d never ask. I’ll have Trevor drop me off here on Friday morning, that way we can go to your house together.” Mikayla smiled and nudged me.

        As I opened the front door, Duke came running to greet me. I set my bag on the floor and squatted down to scratch his head. He ran away satisfied by the interaction and I reached down to take my shoes off. I carried them into the bedroom and tucked them away and changed into some sweatpants and Calum’s sweater that I slept in the night before. The house was lonely without him, and it never failed that I’d turn a corner and expect him to be there, and it never failed to surprise me that he wasn’t. Calum had made sure to make a trip to the grocery store with me before he left so I had food to last me a while. Which was nice, but the thought of eating right now made my stomach turn. Instead, I grabbed a glass of water and made my way to the living room and turned on the TV.

        I was on my tenth consecutive episode of The Office when my phone started ringing, scaring the ever living hell out of me. Calum’s contact photo appeared on my screen and I answered the Face Time. He was lying in the same hotel bed he had been lying in the night before, he was wearing a grey hoodie with the hood pulled over his head. He smiled a tired smile, “Hey, gorgeous.”

        My back touched the back of the couch and I smiled back at him. “How was your day?”

        He turned his head and yawned, moving the hood off his head as he scratched through his blonde hair, “Busy. Sometimes we don’t even get a chance to eat, thankfully most interviews are accompanied by snack tables. How was your day?” He rubbed his eye, trying to keep the other one open.

        I shrugged, most days I have nothing exciting to report to him, it’s been that way since we met. “It was alright, nothing exciting ever happens.” A chuckle left my chest and he let out a chuckle as well. His eyes stayed closed and I could tell he was absolutely exhausted. “Cal, do you want me to let you go so you can get some sleep?” He protested against hanging up through fighting off sleep. “Honey, you’re falling asleep.”

        He hummed and got in a more comfortable position. “Can you just leave the call on and I’ll go to sleep?” He opened his eyes long enough to place his phone up right on the night table next to him. He reached above the phone and switched off the lamp. “Good night, sunshine. You can hang up in a little bit. I just want to fall asleep seeing you.” He kissed his fingers and then pressed them to the camera. I mirrored his actions and watched as he pulled the comforter up to his chin. Just as he finished getting comfortable, I placed my phone on the coffee table, propped up by my glass and returned to watching The Office.

        Duke jumping off the couch startled me awake, not realizing I had even fallen asleep. When I looked over at my phone, it had died while the FaceTime had continued. I pushed myself off the couch to let Duke out then riffled through the kitchen to find a phone charger. Once I found one and Duke came running back inside, I shut the back door and made my way back to the couch. My phone came to life and I set an alarm for the morning and laid back down, promptly falling back asleep.

************

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