#but swansea was in a position where he COULD do something. after anya told him he could have made the decision to incapacitate jimmy

[pinkshortbread]

Can you do members of the tulpar with a partner who struggles with mental health issues (like depression or something of the sort), if it makes it easier for you to only do one of the tulpar members tho that’s fine !! love your writing btw ^_^

Thank you so much for your feedback ! 😭💞

For the moment, I only write for Curly, Daisuke and Anya. I hope you all don't mind. Maybe later for Swansea, I'm uncomfortable with writing about Jimmy (even though I like how written he is, eh I don't even need to justify myself why I don't want to write for him, anyway-) 😔✌️

WARNING : MDNI ; May triggers some people ; Sensitive Subjects.

[How do the members of the Tulpar cope with their partner who struggles with mental health issues ?]

Due to personal experience, I have chosen anxio-depression. When you went on broad the Tulpar : you lied about your condition to protect yourself from losing your job. In fact, Pony Express used to be precise and kept an eye on mental health issues but now, it's not quite the case (unfortunately).

💫 Curly 💫

Curly noticed some details : you felt restless, you had trouble sleeping. That's why you went to the lounge pretty late at night to pass the time.

"Curly ? Why are you here ?" "I should return the question Love." "Trouble sleeping, but I'm okay." It ticked something inside Curly's chest, you weren't okay. Everytime he left the cockpit to go to sleep to his quarter, you were here : your eyes on the screen, in your own world, looking tired, drowned in your thoughts.

He sat next to you, placing his hand onto your thigh, rubbing sweet circles to soothe the stress feeling you were breathing out. "I'm sorry, but I know you're not..."

The next thing you did is throwing yourself into his arms. You cried, cried so much into his shoulders, confessing to him that you were struggling with your depression on broad the Tulpar, that you lied about your issues, you didn't even talk about it with Anya. You were lost, you didn't know what to do. That only built up your anxiety you already tried to control. It was unbearable for you to keep everything to yourself.

And Curly listened. He listened to everything you said : your had trouble to manage the little of energy you had, you didn't know how to feel positive, your sleeping schedule is completely broken...

He kept your crying form close and tight to him, almost afraid of losing his partner and companion. He is the only one who were able to listen and feel what you felt at the right moment, he did it perfectly.

"I lied to everyone about it, even you !" "No you didn't, you kept to yourself and you needed to let go. But I'm here and I'm not dissapointed by you. I love you"

Let's just say, not too short after that, you asked him if he could sleep with you in your quarter after your confession. He accepted.

🌺 Daisuke 🌺

Daisuke didn't notice at first, but : sometimes you where quite irritable to him, which questionned him but he couldn't put his finger on it, maybe you were nervous about the "not being on Earth situation", was he wrong ? But one day, you stormed into his room, sliding and opening his door wide.

"Daisuke..." You started crying as you fidgeted your fingers nervously. "I'm sorry, I've been awful to you..."

As he turned his head to see you crying, his door completely open. Your cries started to resonate inside the Tulpar. He rushed to you, closing his door behind you in the process and cupping your cheek. "No no no, baby what's wrong ?"

Between your cries and hiccups, you told him about your mental health, that you've been struggling even more with your stupid job and that you felt like it started to ruin your relationship, your medication started to run low due to a debut of an anxiolytic addiction. It was bad.

"Shit, baby, I didn't know about that..." Daisuke felt helpless about your issue but : "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better ? Food ? Video games ? Cuddles ? We can take the whole night if you want to talk about it, I can't leave you like that..."

"I don't want it to ruin our relationship-" Suddenly, Daisuke grabbed you by your hips, bringing you even closer to him. "Don't you dare to say that again Boo, I still love you."

💧 Anya 💧

Due to the fact that Anya is the nurse of the whole crew, you told her about your mental health way longer before your relationship started. But one day, you didn't show yourself to the psych eval. It was very unusual from you.

Anya decided to look for you around the Tulpar, questionning everybody. They didn't see you, so you must be in your quarter.

And there she saw you, sitting on your bed and staring at the floor. "Oh no Honey..." She faced you, sitting in front of you. "You weren't ready for your psych eval today ?" You nodded.

You needed some time to talk about it with her, when job and personnal issues start to bond together that's where the problems start you told yourself. Anya told you that it couldn't be an issue, but your thoughts were louder than her voice.

Anya brought her hands to your calves as she layed her head onto your lap. "It's going to be okay, I'm here. You don't have to talk about it, you are not alone." Her words sounded right, you shoulders relaxed. Your hands meets her hair, your fingers intertwined with her strands. You let out a big sigh.

"I love you..." Anya looked up at you, some tears rolled onto your cheeks. You didn't want to lose her. Her look softened. "Oh, I love you too, so so much... Don't forget that..."

For the first time, you heard her.

[echidnana]

also the notes on the last post are so bad LMAO like fundamentally mouthwashing is about the systems in place that enable abuse in the workplace. like to say any of the men "did nothing wrong" is simply incorrect and ignores the point. every man on that ship was benefitting from the system that allowed anya to be abused. jimmy's actions, while obviously made of his own free will, were informed by the environment he was in and the fact that he FELT COMFORTABLE abusing anya. he had zero regret for assaulting her, only that there was evidence (her pregnancy). this is because he fundamentally did not see abusing her as being wrong. he only expresses guilt that he tried to crash the ship, hurting curly.

[void-ink-studios]

Rinse and Spit [Part 7] - A Mouthwashing AU

I DID NOT MEAN FOR THIS TO BE THIS LATE!!! I wanted to update this a week ago. But work got very busy and annoying all at once. But it's here now! Merry Christmas.

Content Warnings:

General Jimmy Behavior, just in a flashback

Word Count: 2,100

Daisuke seemed eager about something.  Excited.

He would pop in and out of the Med Bay, sometimes talking to Curly, sometimes talking to Anya, sometimes just observing the room around them.

Curly wasn’t sure what to make of it.  Or his questions.

“Hey, Cap, uh… Do you know morse code, or something?  I-I was trying to find something useful and I found a few old textbooks tucked away in a locker.”

Curly nodded.  It was part of his training to become a pilot, and later Captain.  Pony made sure the Captains could communicate if for whatever reason the keyboard interface on ships went dark.

“Oh, that’s super cool.  Was it easy to learn?  It looks complicated, having to memorize everything.”

Curly shrugged.  He really wished he could give him more nuanced answers.  It isn’t as hard as Daisuke seems to think, it just takes consistent practice.  Although, he’s not a very fast type when it comes to long messages.

Daisuke gripped the frame of the bed, shaking it lightly.

“That doesn’t hurt you, right Cap?”

Curly shook his head.  He was curious what he was up to.  Swansea’s words from a few nights ago echoed in his head.

“Daisuke’s been working on something for you.”

He could hear the kid murmuring about something, sounding more and more excited as he continued his inspection of the bed.

“Daisuke, I hope you’re not harassing my patient.”

Daisuke’s head popped up from where he had stuck it.  “No, Ms. Musume!  Just checking something…”

Anya was there in the doorway, a subdued little smile on her face.

“Is this ‘something’ for that secret project you won’t tell us about?”

“Maybe it is.  I-I wanted to show Swansea I’ve been listening.  So I’m working on something awesome.  And it’s got nothing important taken, I checked.”

“I’m sure you’re right.  But if you wanted to show Swansea you’re listening, you might want to let him know where you’ve wandered off so he’s not convinced you’ve stuck your head in that vent again.”  Her smile grew a little sly.

“...He’s looking for me, isn’t he?”  Daisuke at least had the sense to look a little embarrassed.

“Has been for about ten minutes now.  Might want to go to Utility before he’s convinced himself he needs to climb in after you.”

Daisuke huffed a little, looking at Curly.  “I’ll be back, Captain!  Gotta make sure Mr. Harford doesn’t blow a gasket.”

And with that, the kid shot off, no doubt to raise Swansea’s blood pressure a few notches.

Anya took her usual place by his bedside, beginning her daily ritual of checking on him.  She’s been doing that a lot more recently.  Before, she’d check when he made too much noise.

“I think your recovery finally seems to be progressing a little bit, Curly.”  Anya was soft in her words as she continued her examination.  Curly let her move his limbs seeing how they flexed, watching for him wincing or making some kind of noise of discomfort.

Truth be told, he wasn’t sure what she was talking about.

All the days blended together, a never ending blur of pain and discomfort.  Nothing ever felt comfortable, he’d just found the position where he was least uncomfortable.

But, he believed Anya.  She had the cunning to keep him alive this long, he sees no reason to doubt her now.

“I-I’m sorry I can’t make it much better here.  You need… a lot more than what I can do with Pony’s resources.  But… You’re getting a little bit better. I think.”

Well… Maybe a little reason.

“I think you can sit up a bit now, if you’d like.  Would you like to try?”

Curly didn’t spend too much time thinking before he nodded.  He had to admit, he was getting stiff and sore laid flat on his back all the time.  And he could finally see the whole room a bit easier, without straining his neck.

Anya smiled softly, bending down to adjust the bed.  Curly felt his world move as she raised and folded the frame ever so slightly, letting him be propped up at a gentle angle.

He can’t say for certain if this was better.  But at least it was different.

“Now, I don’t have to worry if you throw up… You won’t choke.  It should also help you sleep a little better, your airway is freer now.  If we had any soup left, I’d try to see if you’re strong enough to eat yet…”

Curly really wished he could tell her how much he appreciated her.  For everything.

“I-I’m going to go… check on things.  See if there’s any other medicine stashed in the hallways that we could get to.  Maybe see if there’s any hope in accessing the quarters wing.”

And like that, Curly was alone again.

He wondered if he’d go insane with how much he’s been sitting with his own thoughts.  Maybe he’d done so a long time ago, and this is all just some terrible nightmare.

Just off from Center.

What a joke.

Maybe if he took that seriously, he’d have spotted the red flags a lot sooner.  Maybe he’d have volunteered to go to the cockpit instead of letting Jimmy go.

How could he have not been alarmed at his little speech right before?

Despite the best efforts of the Captain, there were no survivors found.

Curly had froze back then.  Why did he freeze?  Could anyone have reasonably expected that he’d actually do something this destructive?  Maybe, given the circumstances.

People do wild things when backed into a corner.

Maybe Curly had just gotten desensitized to Jimmy saying offbeat things to him.

“Do you think you’d die?”

Curly jumped a little, realizing he dozed off a little.  The smell of cigarette smoke hung heavy in the air, even from all the way up here.

Curly had always wondered what the view from the water tower might be like.  It made this town seem so small, looking at it from up here.  He could see, in the distance, the Pony Express station, covered in its haze of smog and rocket smoke.  He could see the trucks moving in and out of the warehouse.  They were like ants.

Curly remembered that Jimmy had asked him something.

“Excuse me?”

Jimmy took another drag from the cigarette, arms crossed and leaning over the railing.

“I said… Do you think if you fell off this tall… do you think you’d die?”

Curly gulped as his eyes cast down, suddenly feeling a bout of vertigo.

“I… I dunno.  Probably?”

“Maybe the trees would catch you and you’d just break your neck.  Wonder how long it’d take for someone to find you.”

“You wouldn’t come help me?”

“I’m not getting blamed for that shit.  You know how the cops feel about me.”

Curly felt uneasy.

“Although… It would be fairly easy.”

Curly felt a hand on his back, a gentle push.  He wouldn’t admit later to the embarrassing noise he made, and how much his limbs flailed.

Jimmy caught the hood of his jacket to keep him from falling, laughing hysterically.

“Jesus Christ, calm down, I was kidding.”

Jimmy continued to laugh.  Curly managed a weak, uncomfortable chuckle, pointedly moving away from the railing.

“You should’ve heard yourself, man.  Didn’t know your voice could go that high.”

Curly didn’t say anything.  He could barely hear his own thoughts over the pounding of his heart.  He jumped a little as a hand was placed on his shoulder and squeezed.

Curly’s eyes flicked between Jimmy and the ladder.  “I think… I wanna come down now.”

Jimmy looked annoyed, his face falling into a scowl.  “Hey.  It was a joke you know.  Don’t get all pissy about it.”

“I just… I’m feeling a little sick.  I’m going to climb down.”

Jimmy groaned, flicking his cigarette onto the walkway and stepping it out.

“Fine, fine, I’ll come down with you.  You really gotta lighten up dude, it was just a joke.”

Curly remembered that day.  He remembered how it was the start of a long line of jokes like that.  He made that joke so many times…

Maybe that should have been his first warning?

Curly jolted awake as the door slid open.  Daisuke stumbled in, carrying something heavy, Anya and Swansea following him, a mix of curiosity, boredom, and confusion between the two of them.

“Captain!”  Daisuke struggled his way towards his bed, putting whatever he was carrying down on the chair next to the bed.  “I have a gift for you.  It’s awesome.  Super awesome, I think.”

Daisuke presented Curly with what appeared to be a scavenged monitor from the cockpit, some kind of clicker or button, and a mess of wires connecting the two.

“So uh… what exactly is this, kid?”

Swansea didn’t seem to know what he was looking at, even with how proudly the intern was presenting this gadget.

“I think I found a way to let Curly speak!  Outside of a yes or no, at least.”

Curly tilted his head at the device.  He didn’t quite see how the concept matched the execution.  But that didn’t mean he wasn’t intrigued, that selfish part of him that so desperately wanted to reach back out into the world.

“How on Earth…” Anya murmured.

“W-Well, uh, we’re not on Earth!  That’s how I managed!”

“Just explain yourself, kid.”

“I found a textbook for Pony Express Captains, going over the basics of morse code.  I read there that the ships are able to receive and interpret morse code signals in case the radios aren’t working for some reason, and Captains are trained in it!”

Curly stared at the screen, suddenly recognizing it much more clearly.  That… that was Pony’s built in morse code display.  The one part of the cockpit able to receive those signals.

Well… Not the only part…

How desperate Curly wished he could tell them…

Swansea’s eyes widened, looking at the clicker connected to the screen.  “So… You’re saying Curly can press that, and it’ll read the signals?”

“It didn’t take too much messing with, just needed to rewire where the signal was coming from but… it’s basically a bunch of on and off switches… Just like you showed me.”

Daisuke attached the monitor to the hand railing on Curly’s bed, making sure it’s standing securely.

“So… Go ahead, Captain.  Try it out.  And, if it hurts, I’ll fix it!  Make it more comfortable to use… Uh, you press the left button for the input, and the right button to start a new word!  You wait a second to start a new letter.  Then, you wait a few seconds, and the message will disappear.”

Curly hesitates.  The screen has a dull green glow to it, one he hasn’t seen in over two months.  The clicker was more like a computer mouse, although rigged together to make the buttons much bigger than normal.

He moved his arm over the buttons, lightly pressing down once.

One dot.

The screen displayed the output of E.

He waited half a second before doing it again.

One dot.

E

He waited a few seconds, both E’s soon disappearing from the screen.

Two dots.

I

“Daisuke… This is incredible!  I… I’d never even thought of morse code!”  Anya seemed eager, looking between Daisuke, Curly, and the screen.

Curly decided to test this properly.  From the outside, it was just a series of dots.

But the screen typed those dots out dutifully.

HI

Daisuke clapped his hands together, smiling wide.  “Hi Captain!  It’s good to finally get to talk to you again.”

The crew erupted into chatter, Swansea giving the kid a firm pat on the back, job well done.  Even if they die out here, Daisuke can at least die knowing he made something like that.

But Curly didn’t have time to celebrate just yet.

He groaned a bit, trying to get their attention.  He waved his arm for good measure.  Anya was the first to notice, who quickly quieted the others down.

“Yes Curly?  What is it?  Do you need something?”

Curly nodded.  He thought how to best relay his message… This might get uncomfortable after a while.  He’d need to develop some kind of shorthand to make this as painless as possible.

But now was not the time for that.

He began typing as best he could, dusting off his training for the first time in years.  He never thought he’d end up relying on it.  He watched as the letters slowly came onto the screen, ignoring the throbbing pain starting to build up in the tip of his arm.

SOS BEACON COCKPIT