#but still. look how they massacred my girl | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

matan4il · 5 months ago

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The other day, I went with my rl bff to the Jerusalem branch of the Museum of Tolerance for an exhibition on the Hamas massacre.

This is the sight that greeted us. "Esthers of the world, rise up!"

It's a poster celebrating two women whose families had lived in Iran, one is Jewish, the other is Muslim, and both women ended up being murdered due to the Islamic regime of that country, even though the Jewish woman's family had escaped Iran and fled to Israel after the Islamic revolution. The face of each girl is actually a composite, made from many smaller pictures of her people who have lost their lives because of the Islamist regime of Iran.

I knew this right away, because I have shared a piece that was done about the poster and how it came to be almost 2 months ago.

"You don't understand!" my bff (who works as a teacher) said, all emotional, "She," my friend points to the Jewish girl on the left side of the poster, Shirel Haim Pour, "is the cousin of one of my students."

There is zero distance in Israel between us and the Oct 7 atrocities.

We go in and join the tour of the exhibition. The guide tells us it was built jointly with Malki Shem Tov, who is a well known name in Israel, if you work at a museum. Malki founded a "creative visual solutions" company with his brother Assaf, through which among other things, they helped build many Israeli exhibitions over the years. "His son..." the tour guide starts to say and I don't need more than that for something to click in my head. I know so many of the names, faces and stories of the hostages, and so Omer Shem Tov pops right away into my mind. I didn't make the connection before, but now I can only imagine what it meant for this father to work on an exhibition that recounts, among other stories, how his son was victimized and robbed of his freedom during this massacre.

There is zero distance in Israel between us and the Oct 7 atrocities.

The opening wall has a huge time stamp, 6:29 in the morning.

The tour guide doesn't have to explain this number to Israelis, or why it's designed to look like an alarm clock display. We were all woken up on that fateful Saturday morning by the alarm clock of Hamas' rockets. And it doesn't matter what we thought or believed the day before, as the full scale and horror of the attack were starting to become known along Oct 7, we were all woken up.

There is zero distance in Israel between us and those atrocities. I know this, and still it strikes me, again and again.

There's an area dedicated to the pictures of one photographer who went to the south soon after the massacre. I knew some of them already, like the pic showing the bodies of 13 elderly Israelis, who were on their way to a tour of the Israeli south on that Saturday.

Some are new, like the pic of the door handle in one bomb shelter. I stop for a second, because now that I've moved into my new place, it hits me that the bomb shelter door was made by the same company. Suddenly, I feel like I'm inside the picture in a reality where the terrorists took a slightly different route on Oct 7. The door was photographed from inside the bomb shelter, and the bullets that pierced it, they had to have hit the personal holding it shut. The handle has blood stains on it, and it's broken off. I can only imagine how many hours this person held, and how much force they had to use, for that to happen. I know one thing, even without knowing exactly who this bomb shelter belonged to... If this person was on their own, they would have probably ended up surrendering rather than keep fighting to hold on to the handle this desperately. This was likely someone trying to keep their family safe.

One note retrieved from the body of a terrorist is on display. It says everything about the motivation of the monsters who committed these atrocities, and every word is purely motivated by antisemitism and religious zeal. The note is actually not in Arabic, as it may first appear, it's in Farsi, the language spoken in Iran, hinting at the source, the Islamist regime there, which doesn't care about the liberation of anyone, it aspires to create a global network of fanatic terrorism.

The translation: "You must sharpen the blades of your swords and be pure in your intentions before Allah. Know that the enemy is a disease that has no cure, except beheading and uprooting the hearts and livers. Attack them!"

There is a section dedicated to women's stories. The exhibition visitors spread out to watch the testimonies, each on a separate screen. It's a not like a forest, you can't really see it for the trees, and it's another moment of feeling overwhelmed because we can't truly get it. It's just not comprehensible, facing so many stories about intentional, face to face cruelty, brutality, sadism and joy in it. Mali Shoshana tells the story of how she tried to play dead while lying shot in a pool of her own blood, but her body wouldn't stop shaking, so she somehow turned on her side to the wall and knocked her injured knee against it, causing herself to pass out from the pain. It saved her life. Ricarda Louk tells the story of the last message they got from her daughter Shani, trusting she was right and there was nothing for them to worry about. Then Ricarda's son started screaming and crying, because he saw the same vid many of came across on that day, of his sister being dragged into Gaza stripped down, mutilated, abused, molested and humiliated, while Gazan civilians were celebrating the public degradation of her body. And there's more and more and more. "You can come back and continue to listen," the guide promises as he moves us to the next segment, but the truth is no matter how many stories I've listened to and absorbed, it still doesn't feel like enough.

There is a wall with the head shots of the victims in Israel who lost their lives due to this war, whether they were murdered on Oct 7 or since, but it's only been updated up until Mar 27 of this year. Even so, no matter what angle I tried, I couldn't fit in all of the pictures.

Interactive screens allow a geographic telling of the massacre's story. They show maps of Israel's south, with dots on them, red for the murdered, dark blue for hostages, bright blue for hostages who have been returned, grey for the injured. You can tap a dot and read a story. Or you can zoom out and try to comprehend how is it possible for there to be that many dots on the maps.

"From darkness to light," reads the exhibition title. That's the perception of time in Judaism. We always move from darkness to light. And there's a section for the light, for stories of resilience, of bravery, of rehabilitation, of mutual support and caring. Filmed interviews that do their best to summarize an incomprehensible amount of good we've seen in response to an incomprehensible amount of evil. It features people from every demographic in Israel, and in that way also serves as a reminder of just how diverse we are as a society.

This part, I think to myself, was included for visitors from abroad. We Israelis, we know.

There's one story I know already. Tomer Greenberg, an Israeli officer, rescued on Oct 7 baby twins from the carnage. He was later killed fighting in Gaza. Like a puzzle, I've heard this story from several angles, including from Tomer before he died. This movie features an interview I hadn't heard yet, with the volunteer paramedic that Tomer handed the twins to. Shalom, this medic, talks about how they clung to him desperately as they got to be fed and feel safe and cared for again for the first time in what's estimated to have been 14 hours. I'm sitting there, thinking of those babies crying, not understanding why their parents aren't coming to feed them, and I don't know how to deal with this.

Shalom shares that the experiences of Oct 7 have inspired him to try and become a combative soldier, something that wasn't on the cards for him before that. I wonder again at people who can act like subjecting an entire (already traumatized) society to a sadistic massacre can liberate anyone.

And I understand Shalom fully. When your family is in the pits of hell, there's nowhere you want to be other than there, with them, doing what you can, rather than sit and watch helpless from afar. Most people would say he did a lot on that day. Shalom must have felt like that still wasn't enough.

At the very end, visitors are invited to add their own little piece of light, through neon notes and pens on which they'd share their thoughts. Nothing feels like it can sum everything I'm thinking and feeling up, but not writing anything feels worse, so my bff and I add a few of our words to the notes.

I don't have any profound conclusions for this post anymore than I did for my note. I just know that this still hurts, that we're still losing people daily, that we can't begin to heal, because we're still in the middle of the wound being inflicted. But I also know that we WILL heal, that even if the wound can't be closed yet, our collective immune system kicked into action on Oct 7 already, that we will continue to share the pain and the comfort and the care, and this massacre and war will probably never stop hurting, that we'll never be the same, but eventually we will be alright. Where people choose to care, there's just no other option.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

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byunpum · 3 months ago

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Back to you | Part 3(final)

Pair: Jake(human and avatar) x Neytiri x Human reader (trio couple)

Warning: i think kinda sad. soft moments, mmm more neytiri and reader, mention of death, mates.

Note: It's been almost a month now, I'm so sorry. I still have no excuse. I tried to write the story, but I feel that in the end… I didn't like it. I think it could have another ending. But still…I'm going to leave it like this. I hope you like it very much! And thanks for your patience! I hope you enjoy this part a lot. Love ya <3

+Read 'Mama's boy' HERE+

AVATAR MASTERLIST | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3(final)

Everything was supposed to be fine, the meetings Grace had had with the RDA investigation team were supposed to have understood her claims. It was assumed that they would not continue with the massacre they were committing in other clans, it was assumed that no one would have been harmed… it was assumed. That day promised to be a quiet one, neytiri and you were sitting on the stairs of the school, which grace had built. In order to have a better contact with the Omaticaya clan. Although the atmosphere felt a little heavy, the last few weeks you had learned that the clan was planning something against the humans. The mistreatment had led them to make the worst decisions, that's why you had stayed away from the clan. It was not for your liking, you loved being in the clan. But Mo'at insisted that you stay with your people. So you could only see neytiri when they were at school.

They were playing with their hands, and telling whatever gossip you had missed in the last 2 weeks. Until you hear some noises coming from the jungle, you can see how a group of RDA men arrive, some in their robotic suits and others normal. But with weapons in their hands, Neytiri quickly rises up, taking your arm to drag you towards her. Walking away closer to the jungle behind you. Not five minutes had passed since his appearance, which is when the chaos began. The screams of desperation, the sounds of gunshots and grace's voice trying to explain, was the only thing you could hear. Neytiri and you had hidden under the stairs. You were both scared, and were waiting for help. But everything gets worse, when you feel someone grabbing you by your hair.

Lifting you off the ground with force, you scream in pain and twist in the air. You can feel Neytiri trying to hold you up, but it was useless. You see that it was some RDA soldier, indicating to take you with them. "This girl should not be here…. take her to the base" says the man. "Leave her please!!!" shouts grace, the woman was gagging on the ground. Her only hope was that you would escape with the clan, there you would be safe. You hear a scream from far away, and see how sylwanin jumps to a great height, attacking the man. "Let go of my sister!!!" shouts the girl, knocking the man down, leaving you free for her to help you. She held your hand tightly, both of you running into the jungle. When the sound of a gun is heard and everything goes silent.

Sylwanin stayed still in her place, her eyes wide open. While your gaze looked at his chest. Shot straight through the heart, your eyes met hers. Feeling her swoon over you, you try to handle her weights. "Sylwanin no…please don't. Let's go home" you cry, hugging her tightly. But you watch as that same man reaches over and grabs you by the arm again. Now with more strength, pulling you away from Sylwanin. Pulling you away from what you considered your family. You try to scream, but it was impossible to get out of his grip. You watch as neytiri tries to keep up with the group, shouting your name. "Y/N!!! NOOOO, COME BACK!!!" shouts neytiri, while you can only watch as she gets smaller the farther away you get.

present time*

Jake didn't know how to act, and what to do. He felt like he was in trouble, but at the same time he was not. You two were there just looking at each other, the looks on your faces were calm and nostalgic. There was no hate or anger…it was as if you had been waiting for this moment for years. You dared to take the first step, approaching quickly, hugging neytiri tightly. Your head resting on her lower belly. As tears began to flow from your eyes. You were afraid she would pull away and reject you. But your heart calmed down when you felt hands on your back, and felt someone slide off. Neytiri had lowered herself to your level, so she could hug you better. Wrapping her long arms around your body. "I've missed you…Y/N" neytiri says, pulling away a little. You can see how she has tears in her eyes. You wipe some of them away. "Me too" you speak, neytiri takes your hands.

Both smiling softly, while just letting time pass. Until jake makes a noise with his throat. both of you look at him and laugh. "I think I have a lot to ask," says Jake. And yes, he had a lot of questions, but you guys weren't going to let him worry. Just at that moment it had started to rain, there was a beautiful sun and a soft, cool rain. Everything looked like new changes… The three of you decided to be in a more comfortable area. Up a tree, not far from the laboratory. The three of you had sat down, while neytiri and you explained everything to jake. Even you were able to talk about the terrifying things he had experienced in the RDA all those years ago.

Time had passed, and the evening was showing. Jake can see you take a few glances at the view of the sunset. "Too bad…it's dark already," you complain, the night idicating that you had to go back to the lab. "We can meet again tomorrow, right?" asks Jake, looking at Neytiri. With very big eyes, you look at her too. This made neytiri a little nervous, having two people she cared about looking at her straight on. And waiting for her response, as if it was a law. "Well…I don't see why, besides…" neytiri pauses, moving closer to your side. "Y/N and I have a lot to talk about, how about tomorrow you go to the clan" neytiri says. You are a little surprised, but lower your face in embarrassment.

After all that had happened, they might hate you. They would still accept you?, you were afraid. "I'm not sure…I" you are interrupted, by neytiri. "I'm sure our parents would be happy to see you," says Neytiri. You swear you almost cry, hearing that they still considered you as a daughter. You agree. After a couple of minutes, Jake leaves you at the entrance of the lab. And neytiri says goodbye to you, anxious that it's already the next day. "See you later…ok" says jake, giving you a quick kiss on the crown of your head. Running back to his ikran, jake needed to drop his avatar off somewhere safe.

You watch as they walk away, if you hear a celebratory shout from neytiri. You enter the lab, with a big smile on your face. This was like a dream… you couldn't believe it.

On the other hand, Neytiri and Jake arrived at the big tree. Jake was getting down from his ikran, when he felt how neytiri hugged him, and then gave him a quick kiss on the cheek of his face. "Thank you…" says the woman, jake shakes his head to the side. Laughing a little. "Why?" asks jake. Neytiri pulls away, and nudges him a little playfully. "For helping me find her," she says. Walking away from jake, to go rest. She was looking forward to the other day. She wanted to spend the whole day with you, to go back to the way she was before. And you were the same, but even more anxious, you hadn't left the connection machine, waiting for Jake to open the lid. The strange noise of the machine alarmed you, and you see how a hand lifts the machine. "H-hello" jake was just sitting up, when he feels you hug him. "Thank you!!!" you say almost shouting. " I know…she's just as excited too" jake says.

"Jake…you don't understand, this is so important to me, I'm looking forward to seeing my family" you are on the point of crying. Jake tries to calm you down. You had to, because Grace was already noticing, if not already did. She had stayed close and could hear everything. Something in her chest tightened. She felt happy but afraid at the same time, this could be dangerous for both of them. But she couldn't deny that seeing you this happy was what she wanted. Grace was like a mother to you, your happiness was also hers. She comes out from the other room, watching as you turn and get up from your chair and run to her. Jumping up and down and telling her everything that had happened. That same night, grace approached jake, still very tired jake. Touching his shoulder. "Please don't do anything stupid with those two girls…just, take care of them" says grace, pulling away from jake. She had to rest, she sensed something big was going to happen. "Don't worry, I'll take care of them," says Jake. Hearing a small laugh from grace, "Thank you" says grace, leaving jake alone in the room.

The morning came quickly, and you hadn't slept at all. Only about 2 hours, you were so anxious. You had already picked up jake, telling him to join his avatar as quickly as possible. The plan was for Jake to come get you in his ikran, and that you were all going to meet near the big tree. Jake still had a slice of bread in his mouth, when you help him into the machine. "Wait!!!" jake complains, but laughing at the same time. "Come on!!! You're taking too long!!!" you hit the buttons as fast as you can. "I'll be here in about 30 minutes, wait for me outside" jake speaks, as the door to the machine closes. You quickly, go get your oxygen mask, and a small bag you put on your hip. Grace just looked at you with a warm smile, while Norm was complaining. Saying how bad this could be. And he was partially right, this reunion could go wrong.

You come out of the lab, sitting on the same rock as the day before, waiting for Jake. You were getting anxious, because the minutes were passing and nothing. But you calm down when you hear the ikran's scream, and see him approaching. Landing nearby, only for you to approach carefully. "Come… hurry up, neytiri is super anxious" says jake, offering his hand, for you to come up with him. You get a little scared, because of the ikran. But you climb in front of him and jake wraps one of his hands around your waist. "Ready?" jake asks, noticing the big smile on your face.

The ride was scary and yet so slow at the same time. You wanted to get there already, you wanted to know how everyone was doing. What things had changed? Everything was still the same. You had so many questions. But you were interrupted by the sudden change of light when Jake started to descend, seeing a Neytiri in the distance. Greeting you and giving some jumping up and down in joy. "Y/N!!!" says neytiri, running towards the ikran, helping you down from it. " I'm glad you're home, ma y/n. Come!!!" neytiri is so excited that she almost forgets that you that you were not her own size. You stumble into a large branch, feeling jake hold you by the forearm. "Hey…watch out," says jake, watching as neytiri turns and apologizes to you, giggling. They both had big smiles on their faces, it was beautiful. They seemed genuinely happy, and something in him felt satisfied. That he had managed to get the two of them together.

The closer they got to the big tree, the more nervous you got. You could see some na'vi watching you with fear and curiosity. Some of them did not even remember your presence, you were strange to them. But they could not say anything, since neytiri had you close to her. "Are you sure they will accept me?" you ask, waiting for an answer from neytiri. "Sure…I know they will" says neytiri, she kept walking. Leading you to where her parents were. Neytiri had informed them that she had found you. Her parents' reaction was one of happiness but also concern, what if you came with bad intentions. Mo'at had to make sure that you were still… you.

You can see Mo'at and Neytiri's father. You were getting even more nervous, looking back to see jake. Making sure he was still there, if anything happened you knew Jake would protect you. The three of you arrive in front of the leaders, and you can already feel their eyes on you.

"Mother… here is Y/N" neytiri pushes you forward a little. The whole clan is around you, making you more nervous. Mo'at approaches you carefully, keeping eye contact with you. Lowering herself to your level, to be very close to you. She observes how you have changed, you are big and your appearance is not the same. Moving her hand to your chest, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. She breathed a few words, which you understood very well. It was a prayer to eywa, asking for wisdom and understanding of the unknown. Meanwhile neytiri was next to jake, waiting for her mother's approval, for her it was important for her mother to accept you back into the clan.

Mo'at opens her eyes, and can see that you are still looking at her with great concern. She moves her hand from your chest to the side of your skull. As a smile spreads across her face. "Oh my child…how we have missed you" says mo'at, as she wraps you in a big hug. "One of our own has returned home" shouts neytiri's father. Also happy for your return. Mo'at pulls away, leaving neytiri now to be the one to hug. "Eywa has answered me…our sister is pure of heart, as she has always been" shouts mo'at, as shouts of celebration are heard high up in the great tree. The clan was filled with joy and celebration. Jake still couldn't understand how you were part of the clan, you were supposed to go through a whole process to be part of it. But he could see how some na'vi came to greet you and welcome you. As if your presence was something normal for them.

It was decided that your arrival would be celebrated that night, after all this was a cause for celebration for the whole clan. Of course, some were still suspicious of your presence as tsu'tey, but that did not matter to you. You were so happy, you had to catch up with neytiri. And so you did, you spent the whole day together.

Neytiri forced you to change your clothes, and adjust one of hers, just for you. "Ney I think this…" you laugh, while the top didn't want to adjust. "Let me help you" neytiri laughs. Coming closer to you, and helping you. Admiring you for a moment, this seemed so unreal. Neytiri could hate all humans, but you. You and she had a different connection. She loved you and she felt you loved her back. "That's it!!! Now you do look beautiful" says neytiri, watching you try to cover yourself up. "Jake look!!!" shouts neytiri, inviting jake to join you. The poor man had stayed behind you, it seemed like he didn't exist between the two of you. "Doesn't she look beautiful?" asks neytiri. Watching as jake's ears perk up as well as his tail, from excitement. "Y-yes…pretty" says jake trying not to look at you too much. "Don't look at me!!!" you moan, it was the first time jake had seen you naked like that. Of course, neytiri didn't understand what was going on between you and just laughed.

The day went on as normal, neytiri and you continued to do your thing, while jake followed and tried to join in. You included him, but sometimes forgot about him. The night came quickly, and the celebration began. Everyone was dancing, singing, eating. And they were eating a very special game, neytiri's father himself had hunted for you. Everyone was happy, even grace and norm had joined in. Already consumed by alcohol, saying stupid things. While you were sitting on a log watching how cozy everything felt, like it used to. It finally felt like home. You watch as neytiri is dancing with jake, flirting and having a good time. You had a soft smile on your face, until neytiri makes eye contact with you. Causing you to blush a little, changing your gaze.

You hear her approach, and she plops down next to you. You knew she'd had a bit to drink, so it was all laughs for her. "Do you want to dance, with me?" neytiri speaks, silly in her movements. "I don't think so…I'm fine here" you speak, still a little shy. "If you want you can dance with jake, he would like that" neytiri says as she laughs. You look at her for a moment, you knew the tone she was talking in. "If you want we can both dance with him…share him" says neytiri, saying the last word more slowly. Waiting for a response from you, you stare at her for a moment. Bursting out laughing with her. "Well… if you insist, but first I want to dance with you" you get up from the floor and take her hand to take neytiri with you. After dancing with her, after a while Jake joined you.

After the party, Neytiri insisted that you sleep over with her. No one could stop them, they both wanted to be together all the time. And no one refused the request. So now you were both lying in neytiri's hammock, laughing and talking about anything. "Excuse me ladies…" speaks Jake, from his hammock. You both look at him at the same time. "Hope you get some rest" jake says, listening as you two also wish him goodnight, but quickly ignore him to keep talking. Jake chuckles to himself, and settles down to sleep. After all he needed to rest, soon it would be his initiation ceremony into the clan, so he had to be in perfect condition.

"When will be jake's ceremony?" you ask neytiri, she was next to you. "In the next few days, you will be there, right?" asks neytiri. You settle more on top of her, looking warmer. The nights could be cold in Pandora, colder than usual. "I'll try to be there…but I don't know" you say, shifting your gaze a little. There is a silence between the two of you, until Neytiri laughs to herself. "What do you think?" you speak. "After the ceremony…Jake will be able to choose a partner, a partner who is from the clan," says Neytiri. "Are you thinking of proposing?" you joke a little, but you see that neytiri falls down. "I thought about proposing but for both of us…" says neytiri, looking down to see you. "Both of us, us sharing Jake?" you think for a moment. You had so many doubts.

"I think we have to ask jake first" you speak, hearing neytiri laugh. " Don't worry, I'm going to make him" neytiri says joking with you. "You know… I'm glad we're back together" you hug neytiri. "Yes, I hope we will never be separated again, never again" neytiri hugs you tighter. And the idea of you and her and Jake being a couple, she was excited. She was already planning everything, she already had more or less an idea.

(I'm going to try to summarize the battle part as much as I can, because it doesn't go very much with the plot of the story)

But neytiri wished these moments had lasted longer. After jake's initiation ceremony. She kept her word, neytiri took jake to the spirit tree, declaring herself and also declaring your feelings for him. Telling him the plan that you and she had, trios were a normal thing between them. Jake didn't hesitate to accept, it was a shame that you weren't there with them to join them in eywa's eyes. Neytiri wished you would stay, but the chaos that was going on in the lab was different. The RDA had already sent their warnings, and grace was trying to calm the waters, but all to no avail. The next morning the chaos broke out, and harmony was exhausted.

After jake told the truth, and everything that was going on. There was a moment of doubt towards you, on neytiri's part. You hadn't had a chance to talk to her. To tell her that you didn't know anything about it. Jake and the team, including you, were able to escape from the RDA and do something for the Omaticaya clan. It was not after jake became toruk makto, that you were able to see neytiri.

The humans who were in favor of the na'vi, and the omaticaya had to unite to save pandora. So you were finally able to meet with her. Jake explained to Neytiri that you had nothing to do with this…you were so innocent about it. Neytiri knew that you were not capable of betraying her like that, neither her nor the clan. The fight was tough, and left many fallen in battle. But it was worth it… now they were free. At least for a while, everyone knew it wasn't over.

(end of summary <3)

After the first battle, and the humans went back to earth. That was when neytiri felt some stability again. Things were slowly calming down. She just needed something… and it was you. She needed you to accept to be in her family…she needed you to be her partner. Both hers and Jake's. But she didn't know how to do it, she was already by jake's side. But she was noticing since the humans left, you were distancing yourself from her. Keeping your distance and this did not please her. She could understand that you were analyzing everything that had happened, you had lost grace, all the chaos of the RDA. But now…now she could be a little happy.

"Today is your transfer ceremony…I will ask Y/N, do you think she will accept?" neytiri asks jake. "Didn't she already accept?" jake laughs a little. consoling neytiri. "Yes…but now it would be formal. You and I are already bonded…it would be our turn to bond with her. That makes me nervous" neytiri brings her hand to her chest, and tries to reassure herself. "Everything will be fine." jake also has his doubts. A human being paired with two na'vi, that's strange. Even for him. Sure, he wants you to accept his proposal, both he and neytiri want the same. But what will it be like, what will the others think. How this was going to work.

Jake's ceremony went perfectly. Jake left his human body, to now be a permanent part of his na'vi body. And of course, everyone was there to see this happen. You were right next to Jake's human body and Neytiri next to his avatar. "See you later" you say to Jake, watching as he smiles at you and closes his eyes. You couldn't help but feel a little sad, you had gotten used to seeing this jake, human jake. But you also knew it was the best thing for him…now he would be better off. He would have a better life. You could see jake's last sigh leave his body, and watch as all the attention turned to his avatar. Picking yourself up off the ground, and walking away a bit. You settle into a corner of the group that was helping Jake welcome his new body. You felt like you didn't belong there… you were no longer important. Or so you thought…

After a while, the ceremony was winding down, and everything began to get quieter. Less people, more privacy. Jake still felt a little strange, but it was great. Neytiri was by his side, happy but with her head busy. She was looking for you, but couldn't find you. You were supposed to be by her side, but out of nowhere you disappeared. "I don't see her…where is she?" says jake, looking around. "Y/N? I saw her walking towards the jungle, I guess she's heading to the lab" says norm and max. Jake and neytiri give each other a look, before getting up from the ground and going to look for you.

On the other hand, you were steps away from the lab. Thinking to yourself, well this was the end of it. After all, it's all calmed down. It didn't happen what you expected, but at least they are… a noise interrupts you. You hear voices calling your name. You turn to see two large silhouettes approaching. "Y/N wait!!!" says neytiri. Approaching you, you smile a little. "Why are you gone?" asks jake approaching you. Both na'vi kneel down to your level, so they can talk to you better. "Well…just, I thought it would be better if I walked away." You speak, watching as neytiri's gaze falls. "Why would you think that…we don't want you to walk away" the woman says somewhat agitated. "I…I don't want to" you start to speak, but neytiri interrupts.

"We had already talked about this…and maybe you thought it was a joke. But, what about us. I thought we were going to be a couple…the two of us, jake and…" neytiri pauses for a moment. "Were you really talking?" you ask, as your eyes widen. Jake laughs, and moves closer to you. Taking your hands, he also takes neytiri's hands. Just for the three of you to be together. "Since you are part of the clan…and I am aware that there are other couples that would be better than us, but…would you like to be our mate?" asks jake, neytiri looks at him for a moment, only to stare at you.

You didn't know what to answer. Never in a million years, you thought you would be in this position, you were well aware that you were a human, and no na'vi could find you attractive. Even when you began to have feelings for Jake, you found it hard to think that his na'vi side would find you attractive. But neytiri…like her who hated humans so much. "You don't want to be with us?" neytiri breaks the silence, you had been silent in thought for a few minutes. "It's not that…but it scares me a little" you speak. Watching as neytiri moves closer to you. "Afraid…you shouldn't be afraid of us" says neytiri. "We will never hurt you," says Jake. Joining neytiri.

"And if you start to hate me…and get tired of me" you begin to stutter a little. "Y/N…we want you to be our mate, and it's because we both love you. We want to have a family with you, please" jake speaks, now he was holding your hands tighter. You look at both of them for a moment, smiling at them and shaking your head. "Yes…I accept" you speak, neytiri comes over to hug you and pull you to her. She was so excited. She tries to find some space so she can give you a kiss, but she stopped for a moment. "How? Ahhh?" she sounded a little confused. That damn glass you had on your face, it had never bothered her as much as it did now. Jake reaches over and gives you a kiss on the hundred. "I think if you hold your breath…" jake looks at you shaking his head to the side along with his little ears.

The three of you hadn't noticed, but you're so close together, so tight. You could barely see. Norm just happened to be arriving at the lab, coming upon the scene. He sensed something was up but decided to ask. "Is something going on or what's happening?" speaks Norm, from the distance. You both look at him at the same time, separating. Neytiri and Jake get up from the ground. "It's nothing…we were just looking for Y/N, we were just leaving right?" says jake, taking neytiri's hand. "Yes, we were just leaving" neytiri speaks. You feel jake tap you on your shoulder, offering you his hand. You make eye contact for a moment with neytiri and then with jake. You were aware that as soon as you took jake's hand. Your life as a regular human was going to end.

It wasn't like living in pandora was normal, but you knew you had to leave everything you knew so far. Accepting to be neytiri and jake's mate, implied living like them, living like na'vi. And you were willing to do it, holding tightly Jake's hand. "Norm… later I'm going to get more oxygen supply" you speak, leaving a confused norm. But he was going to be okay, eventually he was going to know what was going on. Neytiri approached the other side of Jake, taking his other free hand. This was going to be a great adventure for the three of them. And she couldn't wait for it to begin.

And it didn't take long, weeks after the three of them settled into their new home. A nice hut up in the trees, perfect for a big family. Neytiri became pregnant with neteyam, this was just the beginning of your family's expansion. Soon after neteyam was born, grace's avatar body showed signs of pregnancy. And so kiri came into your family. Neteyam was a year old, and kiri was a couple of months old when your pregnancy came as a surprise to the entire clan. You were the only human who was able to become pregnant by a na'vi. Norm and Max came to the conclusion that as Jake's avatar, he had DNA in his system. There might have been a possibility. And that's how lo'ak came into your life. Your handsome prince, your precious angel. Even though all the children in the family were equal siblings and you were his parents regardless of who his mother was, you had a special attachment to lo'ak. You never thought you could get pregnant, so you cared for him a lot.

Present, location: Metcayina clan (read mama boy's "here")

You had been in the clan for a long time already, and after all the problems that had happened. Between being accepted into the clan, the problems between your children and their father and not to mention how insecure you had felt. The same doubts were beginning to consume you. The little akira was already quite big, so watching her run around the marui was your new activity. It had been 14 years since you had your last baby, so you felt like a first time mom.

"Tuk keeps insisting that she wants to make a new outfit for akira" says neytiri. She was sitting next to you, preparing the food. Her voice brought you back to reality. "Ah?" you speak, looking at neytiri, with a blank stare. "Ma y/n, is something wrong with you?" neytiri pauses, putting the knife aside. She had already spent so much with you, she could read you with her eyes closed. "No…I'm just a little tired. akira didn't sleep very well" you speak, Neytiri arranges your hair a little, she knew you weren't feeling well. "This fish is gigantic!!!" jake speaks as he enters the marui. "akira look who's here!!!" you speak, catching the little girl's attention. Who saw her father enter, and ran as fast as she could to greet him. Jake grabbed her with one hand and held her in his arms. Giving her many kisses on her cheeks. Neytiri laughs a little, and looks back at you.

After preparing the food, you had gone for a walk with tuk and the baby of the family. Leaving Neytiri and Jake alone. Neytiri thought this was the perfect time to talk to one of her partners. She was worried about you. "Do you think something is wrong with Y/N?" asks neytiri. "Well…I've seen her a little distant from us" said jake. Neytiri thinks a little, she wanted to do something to cheer you up. "How about we take a walk along the coast, she likes to do that since she came here and since akira was born, we haven't had a date" says jake. Watching neytiri get excited, she thought jake's idea was great. "Perfect, I'll tell neteyam and kiri to take care of the kids and we'll take a night for ourselves" speaks neytiri, excited.

That same night, Neteyam was left in charge of his younger siblings. Something that you doubt a little, because akira was still very small, but Neytiri manages to calm you down. She knows that you need your space and to clear your mind. The three of you leave the marui, taking the ilus to one of the nearest islands. Luckily for you, the island was lonely, and the marine life was so active.

Everything was so peaceful and calm. just what you needed, neytiri was in the water swimming while you and jake were on the sand watching her. "Hey!!! Come here" neytiri shouts, watching as you quickly get up and join her. Laughing as you feel the temperature difference in the water. Neytiri catches up to you, you quickly wrap your arms around her neck. You were both laughing, and swimming together. "Hey?" you speak, looking at neytiri. They were so close, one to the other. "I'm afraid we'll get separated…like we did before. That's why I'm like this," you speak. Neytiri just keeps silent, and comes closer to kiss you on the lips. ( Y/N is wearing "THIS" oxygen mask) "I think that after everything we have been through…nothing will separate us again" says neytiri.

"Hey…would you guys like me to join you?" jokes jake from the edge. He had already started to enter the water. Reaching out, he reached out for your hand so he could take it. Jake was big enough to be able to hold you both in the same embrace. Pulling them to his chest, he stretched up so he could kiss them both. "It's been a long time since we were like this…" jake speaks softly. Close to your ear, you were in between the two of them, both cuddling in the embrace. "Yeah…so that's how I got pregnant for the second time" you joke, hearing neytiri laugh. "well…I guess we could try again…don't you think" you feel jake's hand run up your thigh under the water, giving it a little squeeze.

"Hey…that's my thigh!!!" says neytiri, giggling. You had your legs around her waist, and were quite high up on the surface. "Here…here" you take jake's hand and guide it, feeling neytiri take your face in her hands and give you another kiss. As you feel jake's lips on your shoulder, closing your eyes.

What a fool you were, it had been so long, they had been through so much…and yet they had found each other.

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helloledena · 3 months ago

Text

Uh-oh... I'm falling in love~

Synopsis: Kakashi though he had everything under control, especially his feelings. But one ninja from Village hidden in mist was enough to change that. Oh how wrong he was...

Pairing: Kakashi x Reader (but in Kakashi's pov 🙂‍↕️)

Content: fem! reader, slow burn, strangers to "something" to lovers, light smut, mention of depression, lot's of thoughts, lot's of confusion.

Word count: 8.3k (😬)

A/N: Kakashi's character is so complex and hot and hard to write and hot and tragic but hot, so yeah, love him so much *.*

pervert.

When the saleswoman at his favorite bookstore gave him a raised eyebrow, all Kakashi could do was smile while scratching the back of his head in a manner that reeked of humor.

"I understand why you wanted to read Make-out Paradise… but now even the other two books?"

"What can I say, it really drew me in."

"And.. you say you've read it..."

"Yes, I've read it three times already, I think it's time to find out what happens in the sequel, don't you think? Hahaha" he let his body wiggle a little, and his free eye rolled up into a smile.

"Pervert," the girl muttered as she slid off the counter and went to get more books.

The ninja tiredly scanned the other books on display on the counter. The well-known novel "Life of a shinobi: Honor or Death" caught his eye. With a soft sigh, he picked up the book, turned it upside down, and began to stare at the wall clock that didn't actually work.

He would never admit it out loud, but reading an erotic novel, in which the most exciting thing is actually the various lovemaking positions, had become his new favorite way to distract himself. The distraction from the dead bodies he was cleaning after massacre several months prior; from the feeling of total guilt of allowing Itachi, the boy with soft eyes and always a calm expression on his face Itachi, to go and slaughter everyone in his clan; from death of his friends..

Not to speak of it, he realized that nothing calmed him as much as re-reading the same book with the light and warm plot. The fact that he could relive what he knew would end well gave him a sense of comfort that he hadn't experienced in a long time. Life was bearable again. Just a bit. Just a little bit more, he didn't want to kill himself.

"Your books," mumbled the saleswoman into her chin, still clearly under the impression, as she quickly took the money from him "enjoy the rest of your day."

"Thank you. Be sure that I will. Ha! I mean... not in that way..." the now blushing girl looked at him as if he had gone completely mad. He felt his own cheeks slowly warming up "well, anyway... I'm going now. You! You have a nice day... really nice day..."

His smiling aura slid at a moment as he left the shop. He put the third part of “Make-Out” in his shoulder bag, while opening the second one as he walked slowly in an unknown direction. What is he gonna do now? Maybe he should go to get some ramen? But he failed to keep Obito's promise, he couldn't save Rin from death, his father wasn't there to see how much he had progressed. Perhaps he could go back to that cursed rock again. Yeah, that seems like better idea.

"Kakashi!!!" he heard Gai shouting for him from a distance "my eternal rival!!!! Come! Let’s see who can drink more sake before nightfall!!"

But he just continued walking, looking at the first page of the book. He reminded himself that if he does not get involved no one would die because of him. If he doesn't intervene, it wouldn't hurt as much if someone from them died. If he doesn't get involved, perhaps those damn stubborn people would finally realize how truly awful person he is.

When he reached the next corner between streets, he was about to run the rest of the way, but a melodic voice froze him in his tracks.

"Are ninjas in this silly village not taught manners?" He turned and saw a girl leaning against one of the buildings at the corner. How, in the hell, hadn't he noticed her presence before? He decided to let his visible eye wander into a something that seemed like smile.

"I really don’t know what you’re talking about…"

"Pfft" the girl continued to lean her head against the wall, staring at Kakashi with a smirk on her face; her relaxed body language contradicted the words she spoke to him, as if she wasn't intimidated in the slightest "The famous copy ninja Kakashi Hatake, known to all bounty hunters, his name written in more bingo books than can be counted... Yet, you appear to be even more of a creep than the old man who wrote that perversion you're reading"

Kakashi felt strange at her words, gripping his kunai knife tightly in the pocket of his pants. Was she an enemy? He quickly surveyed the area suspiciously as he seemed to be merely searching for a more comfortable way to stand. Hidden Mist Village headband... what the hell?

"Well.." now he was looking cautiously in the direction of the girl "you talk about manners, and you didn't introduced yourself... very hypocritical, don't you think?"

"Hmmm" the girl smiled again, and then pulled out a scroll from her pocket that opened in front of Kakashi "I have permission. And besides, I'm done with my work for now, so I’ll be leaving today. I was just wondering if you really are as cold hearted as everyone says..."

"And?" he looked away from the scroll, returning his gaze to the book that he still held open in his left hand "are they right?"

"I can only say that I'm disappointed" he felt the girl shrug her shoulders "well, see you next time, pervert."

He just hummed. Before he turned and continued walking towards that cursed, stupid rock, he heard the voice again.

"Oh, and did you hear," he looked and she was smiling very widely; something hot filled his stomach "that now the 4th part is being written? I mean, the creepy old man... you already know who I'm talking about."

She winked and disappeared from his sight as silently as she had come. As he continued to observe the now empty space where she had been a second ago, he felt feverishly lucky that he had not learned the girl's name. And if something happened to her, her name would not appear before his eyes in his nightmares.

mercy.

It was the 4th day of the chunin exams and Kakashi couldn't sit and wait any longer. The link with the birds that were relaying information about the happenings had been cut since Orochimaru had magically appeared, then disappeared. He felt nervous. He felt nervous and noticed that it came out in the way he peeled an orange, in the way he would grip the doorknob when he left the room to get some air, and in the way his leg bounced every now and then.

Perhaps he shouldn't have been so harsh with Iruka a few days earlier, saying that his students were now warriors. But he knew that if he had shown even a fraction of the insecurity he felt, his decision would not have carried the authority that now have. So because he wanted his ego to remain intact he left the company of the other jonin, who would probably feel his nervousness at any moment, then climbed onto the roof of the Hokage building and let the sun caress him.

They have the best chance to survive in the shinobi world if they ruthlessly face every obstacle. They have the best chance to survive in the shinobi world if they ruthlessly face every obstacle. I did not send them to their deaths. I did not send them to their deaths. Kakashi repeated those sentences to himself more than he would like to admit.

With big sigh he opened the 3rd book of Make-Out and stared blankly at the pages.

"Hahahaha, wait, wait, you're still reading that nonsense? How long has it been? 4 years?"

His smile curved beyond his will, though she didn't see it because of his mask. He didn't hear her when she got closer to him, like few years prior. How wonderful...

"And who are you?" he looked at her now with his head tilted to the side.

"Oh, that hurts, you know" said the girl with a sneer in her voice, sliding next to him "I know I'm not that *ultra famous* like you are, but we've already met. Plus even I have a target on my head now. These criminals' bingo books, blah blah" and Kakashi was aware of that. When he was in the Land of Waves on a mission with his team, about a month ago, he took Zabuza's bingo book with him. As he flipped through the pages he saw a familiar face, although for a moment he was slightly unsure if it was the girl he met a few years ago. The scar on her cheek was new...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: y/n

Rank: unknown, approach with caution

Village of Origin: A Hidden Mist village, Land of Water

Known Techniques: water manipulation, blood manipulation

Orders: wanted dead or alive

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah, many new faces lately..." he cooed while watching over village in those quiet moments. How the hell she keep finding him when he is alone? And he didn’t have much alone time since becoming leader od Team 7.

"By the way, your kids are holding up well there, as far as I could see" - now he looked at her "if I hadn't seen other things in my life, I would say that they are very young. But we both know it could have been worse. They'll finish the obstacle... they had that crazy determined look in their eyes about half a day ago."

"Search birds are not working for 3 days now."

"Ah well, we "watermen" don't use birds for surveillance. That's what you should have learned at your sweet little academy."

"The fact that you're not on the organizing team for this exams and yet have your own means of monitoring shouldn't surprise me?" Kakashi knew more than he asked. The ninja of the Village Hidden in the Mist were not at all interested in the official ninja ranking that the other villages held so dearly. They were ruthless warriors, deadly as soon as they left the academy, probably even then at chunin level. Now this is simply gathering information… he was aware of that from the moment the first registration from that village for the chunin exams in the last 7 years came. Only Kakashi wanted to know why…

"You know" the girl now closed her eyes and laid so still for a few minutes that the copy ninja thought she fell asleep "even though the rest of the ninjas in my village are furious because of what happened to Zabuza, I'm very grateful to you. I mean, I really wasn't the least bit touched by anything that happened to that... that.. him. But the way you treated Haku's body…"

Kakashi felt his stomach acid rising in his throat. Haku... another mistake of his. Another victim of chidori that shouldn't have been. Haku had a soul as pure as snow, Haku should have escaped... Haku shouldn't have ended up like Rin.

"In any case" now she opened her eyes, slightly teary, keeping Kakashi rooted in place "you showed mercy that our village has not experienced in a long time. Thank you for that. Especially since it was a boy who was kind."

Kakashi let out a soft breath although to his ears it was almost as loud as a scream. No one had ever seen him that way. No one had ever called him merciful... He felt dizzy... what the hell was this woman doing to him...

"Didn't you say last time that you made sure I'm cold-blooded like everyone says?"

"I think I actually said that I was disappointed. And by disappointed, I meant that I was expecting someone with a dirty aura, and I got something completely opposite."

Kakashi hummed, now loking at the village. But still feeling her eyes on him.

"And didn't you say you don't remember me?"

"Huh. Tushe."

stupid distraction.

Ever since he saw y/n at the time of chunin exams, Kakashi actually, even 6 months later, hasn't stopped seeing her. It turns out that y/n has actually been in high demand in the Lands of Water since last January, with a huge bounty on her head. Words circulated that with her blood manipulation, she forced the Mizukage's own brother to cut himself bit by bit with his blade until he died by his own hand in a pool of blood. Rumor has it that she left a letter written in his blood which said that his death was compensation for the rape of the girls from the Village Hidden in the Mist, one of whom is her cousin. Since blood revenge is completely justified in the villages of more southern longitude, the Mizukage made all the criminals of those villages duty to kill y/n on the spot or bring her alive. That's why she is in all bingo books.

He hadn't heard much about on whose permission she was in Konoha before, but when Tsunade came back and became Hokage she gave y/n asylum and declared her an auxiliary force. It turns out that during the chunin exams, she helped the village a lot in monitoring the enemy even though she didn't have to and therefore Tsunade befriended her very quickly.

What Kakashi really couldn't understand at the begining was how everyone got close to her so quickly. He found himself pretty often following y/n as she moved around Konoha, looking for anything that would make his suspicion justified. He watched when she stops by the market for fresh fruits and veggies, or talks to Kurenai in the street with a big smile, or when she practices her water control by the stream next to half a kilometer from the memorial stone. He wished he could just stand next to her and feel the warmth radiating from her up close again as she squirmed when she talked.

Which was out of the question now, sure, because she didn't want to talk to him anymore. But it certainly didn't stop him from being attracted to her warmth. Of course, it wasn't like that for the whole 6 months, it even seemed to him that she enjoyed being in his company for the first month. She kept popping up, each time making no sound as usual and going on and on about how Naruto had gotten stronger, how Kakashi needed to be more gentle with Sasuke, how maybe it was better for Sakura to learn 1 on 1 new techniques to help her reach personal, not someone else's potential. She told him how in her village she liked to go to the banks of the harbor early in the morning and look for children who were fishing by themselves and to use her "magic" to pull out a few fish. They would laugh and call y/n princess of the sea. With a very serious expression on her face she listed endless crazy reasons why Kakashi could wear a mask and swore in front of everyone present (even though they were actually alone) that one day she would find out what his face looked like. And when she talked she was beautiful.. actually, she was always beautiful. He mostly listened in silence, allowing the warm feeling in his chest to grow little by little with each of their conversations. He realized that he began to take the path to the memorial stone more often where there was a better chance of her jumping out. Once, she even came along with him as far as the stone itself, bowed and stood quietly for a while before whispering "at least you have a place to mourn your loved ones."

However, that huddled routine that Kakashi looked forward to more than he'd like to admit stopped 10 days after Sasuke disappeared, and he ran into her for the first time after the failed mission. "You shouldn't blame yourself, you did everything you could" she was silent for a few minutes "I don't think you really could have stopped him.. you said yourself that Sasuke was stubborn. If you managed to bring him home, the question is whether he would still want to be a part of the team...". When Kakashi was still silent and tried to turn and leave she spoke again "When I lost my cousin I couldn't sleep for days, I blamed myself and wanted to die. But I realized that what was happening to us was inevitable, if she had survived then maybe the Mizukage would have sent his guards and...” “You trying to cover your guilt with failed excuses shows what person you are like.. I will not live in such a miserable field” when the anger came out of him with that sentence Kakashi realized how wrong he was and tried to speak again, but a cold "I got it, go bathe in guilt if that's what you want" cut him off with eyes that glared at him. Y/n left after that and didn't speak to him again to this day.

So he was left to watch her from a distance. In moments when he felt lonely he blamed her. He often let his frustration get the better of him and then tried to talk to others about his doubts and pin his ugly feelings on y/n. Unfortunately for him, everyone loved her, starting with Gai who was finally getting a talkback about the flower of youth and someone with whom his passionate level would be similar.Kurenai finally felt close to a female ninja and laughter could always be heard from Tsunade's office when she was in. Genma showed a closeness to her like he hadn't with anyone in a long time... Kurenai even mentioned that they went on a date after some difficult mission. Which is perfectly fine and didn't leave Kakashi choking on a feeling he hadn't felt before at all. Hot again, but not in a nice way, it even felt a little like anger. And now he was standing in the Hokage's office wondering how a ninja with chakra that was impaled on a water core could cause so much fire.

"Well Kakashi, it's time for another S-rank mission" Tsunade smiled at him, holding sake in her left hand. It was already dusk and her paperwork work was due in about an hour, so her advisors weren't in the room "I hope you had enough time to rest."

"And if I said I didn't, it wouldn't change the situation much" he wasn't looking anywhere in particular while keeping his hands in his pockets. He was on the last mission for a full 3 weeks. Of course he was chakra exhausted. Of course he felt tired. Of course he wanted to do nothing but sleep, read Make-out, and visit the memorial stone. And check out what y/n is doing…

"You know yourself that the level of missions has increased since the death of the 3rd Hokage and the destruction of the village. All our enemies strike us now because they're hoping to catch us in weakness. Unfortunately we don't have enough jonin to cover the steady increase in S rank missions...so there is no time for long breaks. This one is especially hard, so you'll get an escort."

"Ah, escort..." now he was looking at the ceiling, how interesting tiles... "didn't you say that sending couple jonin rank ninjas on a mission is a waste of resources? That it should be done only in exceptional cases? Or you've actually started caring about me? In that case my heart is about to break…"

"This is an exceptional case, Kakashi" Tsunade got up from the chair and sat on the table directly observing Kakashi "the fact is that many jonin go on missions with their genin and chunin and they consider it a kind of vacation, because all those missions are B rank at worst. However, that privilege has been taken away from you since Sasuke escaped and Naruto went to train who knows where with Jiraiya" when she noticed that Kakashi would not respond to her remark she sighed deeply and continued "since this mission involves going into enemy territory you will take escort."

"Enemy territory?"

"Land of Waves to be precise. Y/n was already notified this morning that she has been assigned an S rank mission and will need to be your guide and support."

"Y/n?!" Kakashi felt his anger spreading through his body, so he tried with all his might, fists clenched in his pockets, to calm his breathing; he spoke very slowly and quietly "y/n has a huge bounty on her head in those villages. Or did you miss that? They will kill her as soon as she gets close."

"The scroll that was stolen is very important to Konoha, Kakashi " she held the tip of the nose with her eyes closed "y/n knows the risk and she accepted it. It was her duty at the end of the day" as she looked at him determinedly "as it was yours to take orders from the Hokage. You have a mission to complete, and for efficiency you'll bring a guide with you, who, if I must remind you, is also a jonin who does S-rank missions. You will take care of each other."

"You can't send her with me" he couldn't stop his legs from getting a little closer to her "you can't send her there, it will only be a big distraction."

"The decision has been made" she handed him the scroll looking at him resolutely "the deadline for the mission is 1 week. If you do not return by then, help will be sent to you. All the details are in the scroll, I expect a successful report when you return. That's it, you can go."

"But, Lady Tsunade –"

"That's it Kakashi" a small crack was heard from the wood of the table that cracked under Tsunade's pressure "you can go."

Damn it he thought.

i’m so sorry.

"Of course you're late" y/n looked at Kakashi leaning against the wall of village gate, her bag on the floor between her legs.

"You won't believe what an infestation of angry geese was in front of my house" he smiled at her, scratching the back of his head.

"Yes, yes. Move then..." she just walked away leaving him standing there for a few moments staring at her. He wondered if she knew where he was going before every mission. He wondered if she could see through his acting with that haunting gaze.

After few hours passed, in not so pleasant but endurable silence, air was getting colder. Kakashi felt his fingers slowly tingle, frantically trying to warm them in his pockets.

"Fuck.." muttered next to him y/n holding a finger in the air that was covered in water and her chakra "fuck, fuck."

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, observing their surroundings. They were around 25 kilometers away from Konoha for a pretty short time because they were running most of the way wanting to reach the border of Land of Water by evening. It's only about an hour to the small town. They were currently in an open area and Kakashi desperately wanted to get out of the way as soon as possible.

"Once every few years Land of Water gets a period of so-called „false winter“"y/n blurted out through her teeth, keeping her gaze still on the water that was wrapped around her finger "you see? There is a thin layer of hoarfrost gathering on the surface. It's not cold enough to freeze, but maybe, in 2 days, it will be enough."

"And what do those winters look like? Should we expect snow?"

"Probably not. The problem with this winters is that they are very cold and wet. On the other hand they never last more than a week. But people freeze to death because winters come so suddenly, so we have to be very careful. And of course, to return home as soon as possible."

"Clearly..." Kakashi spoke in a moment, swearing at his fate. This mission probably couldn't get any worse.

He watched y/n wipe hands on her pants, and warming the hand she had attached the water to by slowly blowing into it. He couldn't resist the urge and slowly put his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him with a look that almost brought him to his knees. Honest, clean, which allows the color of her eyes to completely come to the fore.

"Don't worry" he said quietly, now in some incomprehensible fear of not scaring her further, and with a huge desire to slowly dance his fingers on her face... to get rid of every concern "we will finish this mission successfully. Everything will be alright."

"Mhm" the girl in front of him uttered a falsely cheerful voice "and even if something happens, you won't have to swim in pool of pathetic excuses so I'm not even worried about you" she slipped out of his touch with the speed of an eye blink "it's time to go and find a room if we don't want to sleep in the cold."

"Y/n..." he tried

"Come on" she interrupted him already ready for a new round of running "don't lose sight of me."

When they arrived at the room they had barely rented as it was the last one in a shack at the very end of a famous town, within reach of a Village Hidden in Mist, Kakashi thanked every exalted being that existed for the 2 large separte beds in their room. As he made the beds, placed the maps on the floor of the room, took the food out of his bag, he listened to the sound of the shower coming out of the bathroom and suddenly he felt terribly hot. Although he had never been intimate with a woman... or anyone really, out of constant fear of getting hitched and that person dying, Kakashi actually often felt very lustful. It had appeared in flashbacks before, when he saw a pretty girl at one of his missions, when he passed a public women's bath, when he was reading his books... however he had never wanted something or someone so much that it made him act on that lust. The present moment, on the other hand, was driving him completely insane. Yes, he thought y/n was very very beautiful and her strong character was surprisingly attractive. He thought her smile was as sweet as honey and there was nothing warmer than her beautiful disposition. And yes, sure, one time when they happened to be together in a bar with mutual friends, not talking to each other of course, he got surprisingly turned on by one look at her bare legs. Although now he thought that that arousal could not even be considered arousal because what he was feeling right now was 10 times stronger. When he realized that if he continued like this he would either go crazy, or unwillingly go and do something.. with her, or cum within a full minute Kakashi went into deep concentration considering the mission.

After a few minutes y/n came out in a plain t-shirt and shorts, no bandages on her arms and legs so now he could see a lot of small cuts on the lenght of her arms. He felt that she could see that he was looking at her and he just kept his eyes on her waiting for her to speak.

"We have very hard endurance training as kids" y/n muttered noticing Kakashi is staring at her "they're not as gentle with us at the academy as they are with you. Especially if you are female."

"I understand" he looked at her with full attention "it must have been difficult for you."

"Of course it was" she threw herself on the bed with a sigh, letting her wet hair fall on the pillow "although we don't talk much about it. What happened happened."

"Does it bother you that I saw?" he left the question floating in the air. Her thighs were dripping with water that she hadn't wiped off. He wondered what it would feel like to run his lips over them.

"No" she fell silent a little and looked him directly in the eye "even though I don't agree with you about some things, I believe you. I've seen how you treat others. You always put someone else's life before your own and I really appreciate that. So the result is that I'm not ashamed of who I am right now. At least not in front of you."

Kakashi's legs walked on their own towards the bed where y/n lay. He wanted to comfort her, he wanted to kiss every cut on her body, he wanted to show her that she can show her vulnerable side. When she saw him coming towards her y/n sat down in a meditation pose leaving room for the ninja to sit on the other end of the bed which he did. When some time had passed Kakashi removed the headband from his other eye and looked at her with both eyes open. He noticed how the girl in front of him was trying like hell not to stare at his sharingan now, her eyes darting left and right as she paid attention to both eyes.

"I'm so sorry" mumbled Kakashi "I'm so fucking sorry for what I said the last time we spoked. If I could, I would do everything differently."

She watched him quietly. Then uncertainly reached out a shaky hand and touched his scar just below his eye which made Kakashi wince. What the hell was he thinking?! If she wanted to, she could have dug out his eye and taken it to the enemy!

"Sleep. Tomorrow is a tough one" he spoke harshly when, without looking at her again, he stood up and went to take a shower. Then hating himself, he entered the room again and saw her pretending to sleep with slightly red eyes from crying.

regrets.

The next day, they were already passing few small communites, moving through the Land of Waves. They only had a few more hours of walking left before they entered the Village Hidden in the Mist, and darkness was already slowly falling. Both of them had bought long coats on their way out of the city, so that the cold, which was slowly but surely getting into their bones, could be endured. However, Kakashi was feverishly aware of one thing – this all seemed too easy. They hadn't encountered a single ninja so far, there was no sign of anyone noticing who y/n was and the road was passable without control.

"Probably because of the cold " y/n mumbled trying to gather the cold mist into droplets on her palm when Kakashi shared his worries with her "I told you people doesn't handle it well enough in these parts."

"Hmm" he watched as the mist and chakra slowly danced and merged at the tip of her palm, making water "it would certainly be good if we didn't linger here for much longer. Considering how in demand you are here and how cold it can be."

"It's good that we left most of the things in that hut" now she let the water slowly drip from her fingers "being overloaded would only slow us down. And since sleeping in any hut here is not an option because of our bountys, and sleeping outside is not because of the cold, we can only finish the mission tonight and return to the hut tomorrow night."

"Sure thing, lady" he hummed.

It was the dead of night when they were half a kilometer from the base, which did not seem protected. Guards were probably inside because of the cold, Kakashi thought. The fog enveloped them and honestly suffocated him slightly even with the mask he always wore. When the wind blew, it would whip his face and make him shake for a moment. It was very cold. He watched as y/n looked at the white rabbit with small cut on right ear in confusion, crouching. He took out his kunai sorry little guy.

"No" she spoke quietly next to him "white rabbits are not always a distraction... don't worry."

"I hope you didn't trick me...trust me i will find out and it won't end well for you."

She glared at him, tilting her head to the side... a sarcastic smile moved to adorn her lips.

"How are you not ashamed?" she whispered, but because of the silence of the night he heard her very well "I sacrificed myself for your village in this half year than for mine my whole fucking life" she poked him in the chest with her finger "I was more polite to you than you deserve. And I would have fucking killed you in your sleep last night if I wanted to."

"You remained as fiery and hot as the last time I saw you" spoke a voice from the shadows behind them. Kakashi lifted his headband and grabbed the shuriken in his pockets. However a stiff y/n caught his attention more.

"Y/n" the copy ninja cracked "y/n what's going on?!"

"Shino..." she whispered confusedly looking into the darkness. How the hell do these swamp ninjas manage to be so damn quiet??

"What's up beautiful," out of the darkness, where y/n was looking, a tall ninja came out with the band of the village hidden in the mist hanging around his neck. His entire body except face was covered in bandages and a blade similar to Zabuza's was attached to his back… this is not good "you know I missed you."

"You tried to kill me" Kakashi watched y/n holding outstretched hand in front of her, chakra on the surface of her palm trembled slightly "I trusted you and you tried to kill me."

"Princess" a sneer was heard in his voice, he raised both hands above his head as if he wanted to show her that he did not want to hurt her "business is business, nothing personal."

"I loved you and you tried to kill me" her voice trembled as she turned her hand upwards and the ninja fell to his knees still with a smile on his face, his blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight

Kakashi tried to use the Sharingan to quickly assess the situation, but realized that there was nothing to be gained from it. The fog was too thick, the night was too dark and he didn't fucking know what to do. Should he summon Pakun? Should he kill the asshole on the spot?

"I see you still like bad boys, princess. But you yourself know that in the end you are regretted by everyone, in the end everyone sees how weak you are." Shino spoke with difficulty on his knees, a grimace on his face, probably due to blood manipulation "you still chose none other than Kakashi of sharingan. I'm impressed" he was looking at Kakashi now, a dirty smile returning to his lips "you know the redwater brothers want you dead ever since you killed Zabuza... that wasn't nice of you Kakashi."

"Ah, business is business, isn't it, nothing personal" Kakashi smiled with his eyes.

"Hah" Shino looked at y/n again "honestly, I never even loved you. What has to happen happens."

Then several things happens at once. Kakashi saw the ninja on his knees turning into water with his sharingan, and heard rustling behind them. Fucking water clone.

"Fucking shit -" Kakashi whispered furiously under his breath, quickly turning on his heels and activating chidori. A few seconds passed before he stood behind y/n shielding her back and pierced the spot where Shino's heart was with his chidori. The ninja fell from his hand, along with his blade with a dull thud. Kakashi turned to look at y/n who was looking at him with wide eyes and felt a searing pain in his chest. With a low curse he fell to his knees as he realised that he was almost cut open in half.

"No!" y/n shouted as she quickly knelt in front of him with her hands glowing with chakra "Kakashi, Kakashi, keep your eyes on mine."

Is this it? He thought as his head reeled. Although his eyes seemed to be open, he saw nothing. He only heard the soft sound of chakra vibrating somewhere nearby and shallow breats. Maybe some whimpers. But he wasn't sure.

"Kakashi! I will never talk to you again if you die now" a distant soft voice cracked "I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you."

"I l-lied" he spoke quietly, not sure if she heard him at all, but he tried anyway "you are very brave... so brave it scares me... So, of c-c-course you are not week. Of course you're not a dis-straction. Of course I don't regret going here with y-you."

"Look at me, I'm begging you."

The last atoms of power Kakashi focused on what appeared to be y/n's face. When his vision sharpened a little he saw a smile or a twitch, he wasn't quite sure, and the beautiful color of the eyes that he had come to love so much.

"You are so beautiful."

lavander.

When Kakashi woke up in a dark room that smelled of lavender he was sure he was dead. He tried to blink hard a few times and shake the sleep from his eyes before he managed to sit up. His mask was still there, though he was dressed in plain clothes and covered with a thick blanket. Although he was warm, the air in room was cold. He realized that he was in the hut where he and y/n had left their things before they went to the Land of Waves. When he turned to the right he saw lavender in a pot and a small letter. He took the letter and began to read.

By all accounts you should wake up before I’m back. I left medicinal herbs, tea and food on your table. Don't even think of touching the bandage. I managed to sew up the wound completely, but it's better that the bandage soaked with medicinal water stays until I return, just in case. Of the flowers in the local flower shop, there were only lavenders because of the winter, I hope you are not allergic. Hehe. I went to get that stupid scroll and finish the mission so I'll be back soon. Don't follow me. You lost a lot of blood and strength. Please wait. I'll be back, trust me.

P.S. I didn't peek under your mask. Pinky promise.

Those few hours in which Kakashi drank all the tea, ate all the food and thought about the best way to go after her, felt like days. He realized with great amazement that y/n had somehow managed to heal entire wound which now only itched, not hurt. He felt very exhausted as he looked out the window at the rain falling wrapped in a blanket. It must have been terribly cold outside. How many days did he sleep? How is y/n? Is she hurt? What if they catch her and kill her? What if she's already dead? How many days has she actually been out of the hut? If she is dead he will kill everyone who is responsible. But he is responsible... He let his guard down and let that jerk almost kill him and that's why y/n is out there alone now. He won't be able to live with himself if she's dead. He was too tired. He will rest for only half an hour more and then he will leave. Towards her. Yes, that sounds like a good idea.

Knock knock.

Kakashi stood up with his heart pounding. They found him. But if they found him that means they will wait there for y/n to come back and then kill her easily. He took the kunai, opened the sharingan eye and cautiously approached the door. He wouldn’t let that happen. When he flung open the door he saw y/n with gentle eyes watching him, a scroll in one hand, a Shino’s blade in the other. She was wearing a normal ninja uniform and was soaked to the core. Y/n smiled widely at him but fatigue was very visible on her face. Her body was shaking uncontrollably from the cold.

"Oh thank heavens, you're awake" it came as sigh from her lips "I didn't want to drop any of this on the floor. Sorry if you had to get up. Everything went smoothly. Mission is complete."

He quietly helped her inside, took the things from her hands and put them on the floor. When he went to turn on the shower so that somehow hot water would warm up y/n he realized that there was no use because the water had frozen in the pipes.

"The shower doesn't work" he rasped and realized that it was probably the first thing he had said in days "change into something dry. We need to warm you up."

Kakashi then placed 2 blankets over each other on his bed and pulled y/n who was now only in a t-shirt and shorts (because that was the only thing dry) into bed with him. He hugged her tightly, limbs completely intertwined, his hands rubbing hers, trying to bring some warmth back into her body. All this with full awareness of how she was lying next to him in just shorts and a t-shirt. He fought the growing erection in his underwear, thinking about anything but the woman in his arms that he wanted more than anything else.

"I thought you were going to die" she spoke quietly against his chest, probably more to herself than to him, but he certainly heard her very clearly.

"You saved my life, Thank you" he mumbled against her hair.

Now she cocked her head hard and fast locking her eyes with his, fire in them, just the way Kakashi loved it.

"If it wasn't for you, I would be dead" she snapped angrily, holding his gaze with hers, now he kept his sharingan eye open "I just did one tolerable, but miserable thing."

"You are extraordinary. Really. I’m all heald now thanks to you. When I woke up today I felt like whole new person. Thank you" he lightly touched her cheek with his hand "And I don't know if that went through your crazy little head, but the last thing I want is to let people I care about die while I'm just watching from the sidelines. That very much includes you."

As if momentarily embarrassed, she looked away from him and brought her head back to rest on his chest. She breathed deeply.

When he noticed that the normal temperature was slowly returning to her body and the shivers stopped being so strong Kakashi let out a soft laugh.

"I don’t believe a thing you say,"

"What?" y/n cocked her head again looking into Kakashi's one open eye with a confused expression. That made him grin even wider.

"I don't believe you didn't look under the mask."

The girl in his arms scoffed looking at him with mocking eyes "My curiosity is big, but not so much that I want to play dirty. If i really wanted to see what's underneath I'd make you show me yourself."

"And?" Kakashi felt his breath slowly run out of anticipation "do you want to see it that badly?"

She looked at his mask silently then studied his open eye.

"You want to show me?" she asked quietly, and he just continued to watch her, with an unknown glow. She slowly removed both hands from the blanket and ran her fingers to the top of his mask. Her hands were shaking slightly and Kakashi realized with something, ah here it is again, very warm in his stomach that she wasn't shaking from the cold this time. Y/n slowly removed the mask from his face as he watched her carefully. When the whole cloth was finally removed, she sighed deeply. A soft smile graced her lips.

"Ah, what a disappointment" her gaze circled all over his face "nothing of the huge lips and horse teeth."

Kakashi felt his lips curl into a smile. He hugged her a little tighter.

"You are so beautiful. Gorgeous even." she looked him in the eye and now he was terribly, terribly hot all over. No one ever addressed those words to him. His body just moved closer to her until her lips were only inches away from his. He felt her breath brush his lips. He was waiting for her to do something… anything.. to give him the green light. Because no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't move on his own. Such tender and fragile moments were not frequent in his life, and suddenly he was terribly afraid of breaking this too. However when y/n pressed her lips to his all worries were quickly erased from his mind.

They kissed deeply and slowly as he ran his hands all over her body. He made sounds he didn't know he was capable of, but realized that nothing compared to her sighs and moans from the kiss. He slowly moved from her lips to her neck which he had been watching for so long as they talked months from now, taking deep breaths.

"How perfect you are" he murmured as she melted in his arms. She ran her hands first over his shoulders, then his back, finally letting her hands go under his shirt. He moaned burying his head deeper into her neck.

"Kakashi..." came out of her mouth like a plea, as if it was too much for her.

"I know y/n, I know," he breathed a big, hard sigh as he held her hips tightly so she wouldn't move against him anymore. It was very clear to him that she felt how much he wanted her. And he now wanted her to show her how much he wanted her "can I touch you?"

She looked at him with a warm look and red cheeks, then nodded briskly.

He let his hand dance from her neck, over her stomach, down to her lower abdomen where he pressed his hand firmly.

He kissed all over her hands, all the little cuts he'd seen just a few days before.

"Perfect. So fucking perfect. Lift your hips for me pretty girl" he whispered softly.

When he took off her shorts and realized how wet she was, he almost cummed In his pants at that moment.

He just touched her enterance briefly and she moaned leaning into his touch. Nothing has happened yet and he was so fucking turned on. Turned on by her smooth skin, maddening smell, her sighs, moans... This is 100x better than any erotic novel. He slowly kissed her clit, than licked it experimentally. Y/n closed her eyes and left her hands flying to his hair, hips bucking up to meet his mouth.

'Look at me, let me see you" he darkly whispered against her pussy, looking at her with his both eyes. He then licked and sucked her swollen clit, eyes never leaving hers, making her moaning mess.

"Fuck Kakashi, fuck" she cried pressing one hand against her mouth, than changing mind and letting that hand grip on his hair too "i need you now. Please."

He stopped for a second watching her.

"Are you.. -"

"Yes, yes, and don’t you fucking dare to leave now."

"Sure thing pretty lady" he smiled against her heat.

He took his time, exploring every exposed piece of skin now that he took her t-shirt off too. He blinked open the sharingan again and he was so damn happy that he could predict how she would react to every touch. He looked at her; sprawled out underneath him, with her face flushed, lips swollen.

"Have I ever told you that you are perfect?" he had that boyish smile now, looking at her lovingly.

"Pervert" she grinned while kissing him quickly.

"Ah yes" he left few kisses to her neck again "I remember you calling me that a few times" he put his fingers on her clit making her to squirm with embarrassment.

"Please Kakashi" her voice was so fucking sweet "I need you. Please."

"Need you too" he mumbled against her lips "so much. My beautiful girl."

Then all he could feel was her. She clouded all five senses and he felt like he was going insane. It was over far too quickly.

"Madness" he whispered in her ear and nuzzled her neck, thrusting deep and steady "you are madness."

He gave a few last thrusts and reached down with his hand to help her finish. It wasn’t long until she was writhing and whimpering underneath him.

He kissed the top of her head before he pulled her into him protectively, feeling sleepy. Enjoying the feeling of her skin flush against his, her sweet smell and now steady breaths he felt his body completely relaxing.

As he slowly drifted off to sleep he asked quietly against her hair "do you want to go out sometime?"

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