#but still. i don't and 99% of us don't do that by threatening to kill that person lol

[hetalia-club]

I'm not normally one to rant or anything but here goes.

I hesitate to tag this. but I feel it needs to be said, in fact I feel it HAS to be said or I think this fandom is just going to be done for within the next 5 or so years. People need to read this and understand what is happening within the fandom and not continue this behavior or turn a blind eye to it.

This fandom has a SERIOUS problem. I don't say that lightly either. I feel like 99% of this fandom are sweet and caring people. but we have that 1%.

This 1% is killing the community in this fandom. How is it okay to message someone, demand they make a statement on THEIR blog and when they say they don't want to talk about it you then tell them you wish they would die a horrible death?

TW for suicide and SA! (you have been warned) Long rant below. (preempted note to let everyone know that I am fine, I am not posting this for people to feel bad for me. I am using my own experiences as examples, but this is not a 'me' issue this is a fandom issue)

Why is that so normalized here? The vague blogging and the call to arms people in this fandom do is actually disgusting. Picking one person and just beating them down until they eventually leave the fandom and at the SAME people will be like. "Why is the Hetalia fandom so small?" Who wants to be in a fandom where making one statement that's not even bad could get you death threats?

I don't think the fandom realizes how hurtful what they say can be. Sure you might not have liked a post someone made because you disagreed. Well then scroll down, hit the block button and carry on with your life. Why do some of you feel it is acceptable behavior to make mass posts calling out someone or going into their inbox to tell them you wish they would kill themselves?

I say I don't like Spamano and people say they want me dead. I say I don't want to talk about IRL politics on my parody Hetalia blog and my life and entire country is threatened.

I say we shouldn't insert our ships into everyone's lives and let people ship what they want and not feel forced to appease you. and you guessed it people wish terrible things onto me and my body.

I feel the only way this behavior will change is if we start calling it out more. I know it will feel repetitive but I think ignoring it is only making it worse at this point.

I know a lot of people would read this and think "If you don't like it then leave the fandom" well YOU'RE the issue. This is not normal behavior. These are not actions of someone who is mentality well. Why should I leave a fandom I've been in for 10 years because some idiot cannot handle that I don't like shipping characters together? How is that impacting their life at all?

a few months ago I made a post and it was highjacked and someone totally just took it over and added their own thing onto it talking about SA. Totally out of left field not related to what I posted at all. I simply messaged them and asked them if they could please remove the comment as I am a survivor of SA and it don't think it was funny or appropriate to add onto my post and they just said. "No I can say anything I want to. I was talking about Hetalia so it's fine." like what do you mean no!? Who responds that way? What a normal considerate person would do is say "I'm sorry of course! I can just go make my own post." but no they just left it there. It's still there, won't say which post or who it was because it doesn't matter anymore.

But this is the kind of behavior I'm talking about. This weird entitlement of everyone being so defensive and angry all the time. Just wanting to pick a fight over nothing. You never know if simply saying something like (Example) "I don't really like Austria" Could land you 100 anons all saying they wanted you to off yourself. It's like a game of Russian roulette. It's a very stressful environment for a big creator to be in. All it really takes is the wrong person to see a post you made and disagreed with and all of a sudden they are making posts about you without mentioning your name but are CLEARLY about you saying "This person hates all Austrians, they are a neo-nazi and we should all block them and send them hate and also let's just reword what they said to make it sound 100x worse because people won't read the original post and they will just believe us." Who would want to be a creator in an environment like that?

would you believe me if I told you I still to this day am getting someone in my inbox calling for my r*pe because of the stupid fucking beauty pageant poll I did? Is that not insanity? Who is that person? Wtf is their life? I personally could not imagine sending hate to anyone for any reason, and if I did it would be off of anon and I would say it with my chest. Because in order for someone to push it that far they would have to saying some absolutely terrible stuff to make me take time from my day and life to give them negative energy.

The fandom is shrinking because of the 1% driving them away. They come after artists who draw a character in a way they don't like. They come after writers for depicting a character in a way they disagree with. They go after shippers for portraying their ship 'wrong'. They will comment on people's fun little head canons and just leave the rudest most unnecessary comments thinks like "He wouldn't do that" like okay?? Thanks for your insert betty sue. And it's always when you were never trying to set someone off is when they lose their minds. They do not understand even if a blog is big and has a lot of followers it is still THAT creators blog. they are a person not an identity who just churns out content for just you and they have to say and do whatever you want.

Another thing the 1% like to do on here is they will wait for you to say something and then they will jump to attack a person who does the thing you said you dislike and they will tell that person "blog name XYZ said you are a horrible person and I agree kill yourself" That one is a near direct quote I got not too long ago. I got several like that and actually had to message said creator and say "Why are you mad at me?" and they were completely confused, had no idea how they decided to attack me because of what they said. When I tell you that the 1% are sitting there frothing at the mouth wanting to send hate and death threats I mean that 100%

It's not JUST me either. All creators in the Hetalia fandom I'm sure could tell you about upsetting hate they received and had no idea what they even did or said wrong. I have spoken to former Hetalia blogs ones who I used to call my pals before I went on my hiatus and came back. They all said they left not because they started hating Hetalia but they left for their mental health because the 1% got too bold and unchecked. This was never an issue before quarantine. I know it brought a lot of new fans and that's great! But I also feel along with bringing in some wonderful people it brought in some really dark minded people as well. Saying "Just disable anons and move on" is also not a solution. these people are still here and if they're not bothering me or you they are tormenting someone else because that's what these people do. That 'someone else' may only need the tiniest nudge at the edge and they may just actually hurt themselves. You don't know people. You don't know what everyone is going through. You don't know what someone's life is like outside of here.

PLEASE Please! stop telling people to kill themselves. Stop telling people to go get R**ed in a gutter. Get some help talk to a therapist, a friend, a trusted teacher, a life coach, your parents, your sibling. anyone! And if you don't have anyone in your life you can talk to you can message me and we can talk about what you're going through. I'm sure any other Hetalian on here would say the same thing. Bloggers are real people.

International suicide hotlines

Website to help you find a therapist in your own country and in your price range

I know I will more than likely get hate for posting this. Which is upsetting to just know is going to happen but someone needs to say this because it's getting kind of out of control these last couple months I feel.

if you read this through reblog it, spread it around let the people who NEED to see it see it.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

The Problem With The Southern Raiders

Brynn_Sasha191 asked: And what do you have to say about TSR episode as a whole? And how ZK shippers constantly refer and think of it as 'the Zutara episode'.

***

The episode itself is alright. Katara and Zuko looked cool as hell in their ninja outfits, sneaking around and being menaces. The scene of Katara choosing to bloodbend (and her horror after) were shocking. The moral of the episode ("Unnecessary violence is never the answer, BUT that doesn't mean people who wronged you are entitled to your forgiveness") is pretty good. Zuko looked like he gained some genuine understanding for Katara's situation, as well as respect for her mom, when he was told about how Kya's death happened. Plus the Sukka bit, and Zuko's reaction to it, was one of the funniest moments in the show.

The only thing that REALLY bothers me about it how it is the ONE time the show tried to sweep Zuko's mistakes under the rug. Katara was not mad at him because she was wrongfully "projecting" her grief over her mom, and her anger at the killer, on poor, innocent Zuzu.

She was mad because this entitled prince that had threatened the people of her village, tried to use her mom's necklace to blackmail her and then threatened to burn it, had been chasing her group all around the world, endangering them several times, to kidnap her best friend managed to convince her for five minutes that maybe there was some humanity to him - and then immediately helped his sister essentially win the war for the Fire Nation, and killing Aang. Then after Katara saved him, the same goddamn prince sent an assassin after them.

It doesn't matter that he was never fully evil, that he had understandable reasons to do what he did, that truly changed sides, and that he doesn't intend to ever do something like that again. Katara does NOT have to forgive him, and she sure as hell does not owe him her friendship, and it's not cool how the episode keeps allowing Zuko to act all entitled, without ever calling him out for it - and worse, activelly saying KATARA is the one in the wrong.

Plus, it's kinda fucked up that it's never acknowledged how Zuko, the guy who was disfigured and banished for wanting the soldiers of the Fire Nation to be treated fairly and with any humanity, and saw harming them for daring to OBEY ORDERS as an absolute betrayal, was willing to kill one of these guys for the crime of... following the Fire Lord's orders - which Zuko had also been doing mere WEEKS before.

Don't get me wrong, I can understand Katara being out for blood and not giving a shit about "well, if he didn't obey, he'd be traitor" when what he did traumatized her for life and made her grow up without her mom, but Zuko just seemed a bit hypocritical, and like he was betraying his beliefs there. It just doesn't make sense in my head that he wouldn't be thinking "What that guy did was fucked up, but I nearly got all of my current allies killed just a month ago because they were still enemies and it'd make sure my dad would not disfigure/banish me again or even kill me, it'd not be right of me to act like I can judge this guy"

But this one doesn't bother me as much since the whole point of that episode was for Zuko to unlearn all the awful "lessons" his father taught him by fully normalizing violence to him - and considering the finale showed us he was feeling sorry for Azula (hell, he was already giving off Concerned Big Brother vibes on the opening scene of TSR)  and was willing to spare even Ozai, I think it's safe to say he will never make that kind of mistake again (the comics are not canon, I don't care what anyone says).

So yeah, it's a deeply flawed, but entertaining episode that MOSTLY works - but it's NOT the "zutara" episode, not just because there's no romance there, but also because, if anything, 99% of it just shows how these two have the potential to bring out the absolute worst in each other, and that, at least until he genuinely started bonding with her during their mission) Zuko had no problem with playing the victim whenever Katara dared to be mad at him for doing horrible things that hurt her, the people she cared about, and innocents in general.

Thank God they grew as people AND have other friends that can pull them out of destructive spirals.

[electrikworm]

Human Shield: Part 2

Hunter wasn't ready to lose a brother, not like this. But they're soldiers, so they have to finish the mission, with or without Wrecker.

Part 2 of my "how Wrecker got his scar" fic :)

--

Content warning: Temporary Character Death, Blood and Injury, a lot of talk about death

This took me so long! I kept getting distracted. Oops… Hope the angst makes up for the wait!

Inspired by this post by @squad-724

Part 1

Enjoy :)

Read on Ao3

Hunter's heart drops at Wrecker's answer.

He's always hated plan 99. Hunter's not a tubie, he knows that sacrifices are a big part of their lives as soldiers. Even they've heard plenty of stories of clones laying down their lives for the greater good. Clones are expendable, that's just how it is.

Hunter still didn't like giving the act of dying for the mission a name, doesn't like the way doing so has put the thought of self-sacrifice into his brothers heads so prominently.

“What?” Crosshair says. Hunter can hear the way his heart rate skyrockets.

“What do you mean 'plan 99'?” This can't be happening. It can't. Clones die every day, but Hunter's brother's don't. Wrecker can't seriously mean that.

“Self-sacrifice, remember?” Wrecker responds. Hunter knows he means it. Wrecker wouldn't call a plan unless he intended to execute it, wouldn't call plan 99 if he didn't deem it absolutely necessary.

“We know that Wrecker.” Tech says. Hunter glances at him. His eyes are wide behind his goggles.

“You're not dying today, vod.” Hunter says. Wrecker can't die today. “Get your shebs over here, and that's an order.���

Internally, Hunter begs his little brother to listen, to call off what he's planed, to suddenly see a better solution to the problem he's faced with. Instead, Wrecker laughs. The same genuine heartfelt laugh he's always had.

“Can't do that, sarge. Door won't close, and if it doesn't, the fire'll just funnel though the corridor and kill us all.” Wrecker's voice is strained but calm.

Hunter wants to tell Wrecker that he doesn't have to do this, that none of them have to die, that they'll find another way. But Hunter doesn't know that, does he?

“Wrecker.” Hunter says warningly, not sure exactly why. Hunter trusts his vode, trusts Wrecker, but this can't possibly be the only way.

“I can hold them closed.” Wrecker says with a sigh. Hunter shakes his head despite being aware that Wrecker can't see him. “It's what I'm made for.”

“Wrecker, don't!” Hunter shouts, finally regaining enough control of his body to try and run in Wrecker's direction.

Hunter doesn't get far before the whole building shakes. Even with the helmet, the noise is unbearably loud, almost bringing Hunter to his knees. Further down the corridor, the ceiling collapses.

Hunter feels sick, and not because of the way his head hurts. Wrecker's gone. His kih'vod is buried under that rubble, and Hunter could do nothing to stop it from happening. Hunter's vision blurs.

“Hunter we've got company.” Tech's voice wavers ever so slightly as he speaks. Now that Hunter's paying attention, he can hear the steady approach of droids. He can't think about Wrecker now, if he does, he risks wasting Wrecker's sacrifice.

Hunter readjusts the grip he has on his blaster, trying to push down the suffocating emptiness threatening to rise in his chest. Crosshair's still staring at the rubble down the hall. Hunter can see the way his shoulders shake.

“We have to keep moving Cross.” Hunter says, putting a hand on his youngest brother's arm. There's no denying how close the sniper is, was, with Wrecker, even if Crosshair likes to act like they aren't.

“We can't just leave.” He sounds despaired. Hunter wished he knew how to comfort his brother, but that's always been Wrecker's thing. They barely have the time to stand here now, Hunter hasn't got the time to figure out the right thing to say or do.

“We're behind enemy lines. We'll be overrun by droids if we don't.”

Crosshair's head snaps round to look at Hunter. He can feel how intense his gaze is, even through the visor. “We don't leave vode behind.”

“He's gone, Crosshair!” Hunter snaps. He shouldn't let his emotions run free on the battlefield, but he can't stop it this time. “And for nothing if we die here too.”

He grabs Crosshair's arm and starts dragging him. After a few steps, the youngest member of Clone Force 99 start walking on his own again.

As they engage in combat against the approaching droids, it's painfully apparent that they're missing a member. They hardly always fought in a group, but Hunter had planned for Wrecker to be here. His brain seems not to have caught up to the fact that he isn't, and won't ever be again. Hunter keeps trying to spot him, keeps listening out for his heartbeat and heavy breathing as he ploughs through their enemies.

The absence of those rests heavily on Hunter, like it intends to crush his chest. Every time he picks up on it, he's reminded of where his little brother really is.

But they can't stop, don't stop until they're out of enemy territory and back on the Marauder. Hunter has to fight to not let the gravity of the situation consume him as soon as there's a quiet moment.

He and Tech contact the general that gave them the mission, some Chagrian jedi Hunter had never seen before. Hunter can't help but feel some resentment towards the general, despite her not being involved in their brother's death.

As Tech informs the jedi of the data he retrieved, Hunter's barely able to focus. Crosshair didn't even get on the Marauder, still lingering outside.

“The agreed meeting point still stands.” The jedi says. “Can I expect you to arrive on time?”

“Affirmative.” Tech answers, not sounding entirely certain. Hunter wanders off to find Crosshair before Tech's hung up on the jedi.

“What are you doing?” Hunter asks as he comes to a standstill next to his kih'vod.

“We can't leave him Hunter.” Now that Crosshair's helmet is off, Hunter can see he's close to tears. The only thing keeping them from falling is likely the years of harsh training and preparation for a moment like this he's endured. The statement feels a lot like denial.

“Cross, you know he's-”

“I know he's dead, Hunter! You can stop repeating yourself.” Crosshair snaps, face pinched in anger before he turns to look away. “That doesn't mean we have to leave him there, where the seppies can get their filthy hands all over his body. Doesn't mean we need to leave him to rot under rubble in an enemy base.” Crosshair's voice falters more and more as he speaks.

“We'd have to fight our way back in.” Hunter doesn't want to leave Wrecker's body where it is any more than Crosshair, but it's a risk to go back for him.

“I don't give a motla'shebs! We took most of them out, there's just stragglers left.” Crosshair's visibly shaking again. “If you won't come with me, I'll do it alone.”

“If we go back to him, we will be late to the meeting.” Tech says as he descends from the Marauder.

Crosshair's eyes snap to stare at Tech. “Why the kriff would that matter now?”

“Oh no, I agree with you Crosshair. I was merely stating fact.”

With both his brothers advocating to go back, Hunter couldn't bring himself to do the reasonable thing. Not when he so badly wanted to see his little brother at least once more, and to lay him to rest with the respect he deserves. Though Hunter had to admit that he knew little in the ways of burial rites. Tech surely has some information tucked away somewhere, otherwise they'd improvise.

Hunter tries not to think about it too hard as they make their way back to where they firs entered the base. Hopefully there'd be less rubble on that side of the explosion.

There really isn't many droids left. Hunter feels awful for almost deciding against going back for Wrecker's body, just because it's what the rules dictate. They're experimental clone force 99, rules have always been little more than suggestions to them. Hunter doesn't know why he thought now would be the time to starts following them.

The devastation leading up to what used to be the generator room is substantial. The smell of fire and fuel is almost overwhelming. Hunter hopes death came quick and painlessly for their vod.

Hunter can smell the blood long before they get to where Wrecker's body must lie. The silence around the three brothers becomes heavy. Hunter knows they all dread what they'll find. There's no saying how much of their brother will still be recognizable.

Among the bits of twisted metal, Hunter is able to distinguish the remains of the door, dented and warped by the explosion. His eyes watch the glint of something reflective. Nausea twists Hunter's stomach as he recognizes it as a pool of blood, Wrecker's blood. But, that's when he hears it.

A heartbeat so weak, Hunter barely recognized it as such, and wheezed breathing. Hunter's own heart almost stops the second time that day.

“He's alive!” Hunter yells as he tries to find a way to get closer to their brother. First, he just sees an arm poking out from under the door, then Wrecker's head. What's left of the door is laying on top of the rest of their brother. Hunter starts trying to get the weight off of Wrecker.

Blood soaks into his gloves as Hunter drops to the floor next to his little brother. Wrecker may be alive, but barely. If they don't get him out now, it won't stay that way long.

Tech and Crosshair don't need to be told what to do, finding their place next to Hunter with practised efficiency. It isn't lost on Hunter that Wrecker could lift the debris with ease. Wrecker groans when the door is shifted off his chest, but remains unconscious.

“What do we do?” Crosshair's voice cracks. He sounds so lost.

“Stop the bleeding, no matter what.” Tech says, dropping to his knees next to their fallen brother. “We can worry about infection once he's no longer going into hypovolemic shock.”

Now that he's uncovered, Hunter can see the extent of the damage to Wrecker's body. Most of his left side is a torn and bloody mess. Hunter tries not to think about it too hard as helps his brothers pack Wrecker's injuries with bandages. His armor, even his helmet, is badly damaged. Wrecker's face is a particularly dire sight.

They do the best they can under the less than ideal circumstances. Hunter worries it might not be enough. Wrecker's dangerously pale and shivering as they drag him out of the base. With their effort combined, they can move him at a decent speed.

If they'd went after him faster, Wrecker wouldn't be this close to death. Hunter thought Wrecker was dead, so he made a decision based on that fact. But he'd made a mistake, left his kih'vod to bleed out under rubble.

Had Wrecker been conscious as first? Was he lying there in a pool of his own blood, in pain, just waiting for death, waiting for it to be over?

If they lose Wrecker now, it'll be Hunter's fault. He'll never be able to forgive himself.

Wrecker's still out when they put him down on the Marauder's floor, though he's writhing and struggling against them holding him still. Crosshair kneels on the floor, supporting Wrecker's upper body in his lap. Hunter helps his youngest body fix any slipped bandages and add more from the ships medkit as Tech gets the Marauder on the fastest route back to Kamino. Hunter can't help but notice that Tech's flying more careful than he usually does.

Seeing Crosshair hold Wrecker close, the large clone's head limply resting against the sniper's chest, Hunter's reminded of how the two of them had bickered that morning. Hunter hadn't caught all of the disagreement, but it boiled down to Crosshair saying he finds Wrecker's habit of hugging them childish and refusing to do so before the mission. Not a new argument by any means. Crosshair loves to act like he hates any affection coming from his vode.

Hunter wonder's if Crosshair's thinking about the disagreement now too. If Wrecker doesn't make it, that would been the last chance Crosshair had to hug him. Crosshair looks miserable as he keeps readjusting his arms around their dying brother.

“He'll be fine Cross.” Hunter says, barely believing the words himself. Knowing what to say has never been Hunter strong suite.

“You can't know that!” Crosshair hisses. “Look at him Hunter!”

Hunter doesn't say anything again. He takes Wrecker's hand in his. Even through his blacks, Wrecker feels ice cold, especially compared to how he usually runs hot.

“He needs blood.” Hunter can hear how slow Wrecker's heart is beating. The sound isn't comforting in the slightest.

“We've done direct blood transfusion before, what are we waiting for?” Crosshair says, stripping the armor off his arm. Hunter calls for Tech, not trusting himself with this. He knows the theory, but this isn't the moment to test if he's up to the task.

Crosshair makes sure to remind them all of Wrecker's dislike of needles, snapping at Tech to be careful more than once. Hunter can thankfully keep the two of them from starting an argument, reminding them in turn that there's little to no chance of Wrecker waking at the moment. Tech still takes care to firmly tape the the needle to Wrecker's arm once it's in.

None of them speak as they watch Crosshair's blood trickle through the tube connecting him to Wrecker. They almost have to fight Crosshair when Tech tells him he's given enough blood, the di'kut being willing to put his own health at risk to give Wrecker a better chance at survival.

It's not much blood, especially considering the difference in mass between the youngest of the squad, but Wrecker's heart sounds a little better, and his breathing is less erratic. Still, Wrecker's hardly out of the meteor field yet, blood loss being far from his only problem.

“What state is he in, Tech?” Hunter asks.

“Oh he's clearly doing great, can't you tell?” Crosshair snarks before Tech can even open his mouth. Hunter glares at Crosshair, but doesn't react verbally.

“It's hard to say.” Tech adjusts his goggles. There's so much blood smeared on his chest plate, though Hunter can smell that it's on all of them. Tech's white armor just allows it to be more visible. “He has numerous broken bones and his left eye and ear are beyond saving. The med scanner doesn't indicate bleeding in the brain or signs of organ failure, however, it is well documented that portable med scanners aren't always as precise as they should be.”

Frustration crosses Crosshair's face. “So what, that's it? He could be dying and we won't know until it happens?”

“Well, Hunter will be able to tell if Wrecker's heart stills, or he stops breathing. Other than that, yes.” Tech's answer doesn't make the situation feel any less tense. “Preventing further loss of body heat would be ideal. As would keeping him comfortable in general. Though that is less in favour of increasing his chance of survival, and rather to make the situation as peaceful as possible, if he does pass before we make it to Typoca City.” Tech's voice almost gives out towards the end of his statement.

Hunter's chest aches as he squeezes his little brother's hand. Wrecker has to make it. They can't lose him, not like this, not because Hunter made a stupid decision.

They hardly talk the rest of the time, focusing on keeping Wrecker warm and calm. Hunter barely dares to breath too loud, scared he'll miss a change in Wrecker's condition.

It's chaos when they land on Kamino. Crosshair and Tech yell for a medic as Hunter still doesn't dare to do anything more than listen to Wrecker's heart and wheezed breath.

As they watch Wrecker's limp form being transported off on a stretcher, none of the three brother's dare to say a thing. Hunter wouldn't be surprised if his kih'vode are wondering if this is the last they'll see of Wrecker too. They likely won't get an answer to that for hours.

Feeling sick to his stomach, Hunter trudges his way to their barrack. There, all three of them collapse next to each other, incapable of doing anything but cling to one another as the await news of their brother's fate.

[lionydoorin]

requesting happy sam and tara headcanons <3

EM!!! hi <333 okay some happy sam and tara hcs because i don't want to put them in the blender 100% of the time! (only 99%)

when they were little, tara followed sam around like a shadow. it was so cute to see; not only her clothes sometimes mirrored sam's, but tara also had her mannerisms. if sam crossed her arms, tara would too. if sam started practicing basketball, tara would tell her parents she wanted to, too. if sam's go-to dessert was cheesecake, tara would also say hers was cheesecake. sam's favourite colour was red? no, sam and tara's favourite colour was red. it was endearing.

said habits come back pretty quick when sam returns, as well. tara unconsciously started to mirror her older sister again; agreeing immediately with everything sam said, sometimes wearing clothes that look like sam's or stealing sam's clothes.

baby tara starting to practice basketball and sam teaching her how to shoot? adorable <3

they loved lilo and stitch, as well. tara would point at nani and lilo and tell sam it was them. sam would laugh, and tell her that she was lilo and tara was her stitch. tara would cross her arms and sit back on the couch, mumbling a i'm not stitch with the most adorable pout.

(tara's definitely stitch.)

sam immediately reclaiming her role of big sister once tara and her start living together again. she still knows her favourite meal. still sings that lullaby that helped with tara's insomnia. she helps her eat since tara forgets to, helps her change because her hand is still wrapped up in bandages and tara's leg is still in a cast. she's so gentle and so caring and does her best to understand even when tara's screaming and telling her to go away. sam never complains.

when they were little, tara would always sneak into sam's room to sleep with her or get up early in the morning to cuddle before class. after they rekindled their close bond, tara started to do the same, again.

it's not uncommon to hear them singing duets together. if you mention it, though, they'll probably threaten to kill you.

they have weekly "sam and tara" time, like this reserved moment where they do something together or just give each other undivided attention. once they're in a sam and tara moment, nothing can take them away from it.

their codependency is somewhat endearing. sam and tara have no sense of personal space around each other, actually. sometimes tara gets painfully aware of it and they fight, but in the next second they're stuck to each other like a glue. if you expect sam somewhere, tara will probably be with her.

they never talk about moving out, or about the possibility of not living together. if one of them does? nothing would change, probably, seeing the other would be around constantly.

their acts of service is so strong and they don't use a lot of words. sam just makes tara's lunch and leaves it by the door for tara to grab, or tara covers sam in an extra blanket when she sees her sister passed out from working an extra shift. if one is sick, no matter how much at risk the other is, they'll simply brush it off and take care of one another. if tara's depression gets specially bad and she doesn't want to leave bed, sam will call in a sick day to stay with her – not necessarily in bed, but always around, ready to give tara some water or food or just to embrace her when her sister needs a hug.

they still hold hands when they cross the street. sam holds tara close as she checks both sides, then tugs tara along as her sister is probably staring straight ahead.

healthy communication!!!!! after scream 6 specially!!!!!!!

the way they get each other amazes everyone else. it's kind of like telepathy.

[thekimspoblog]

Women's rights are more important than democracy.

If I am locked in a room with 99 guys. And we take a vote on whether it would be ok to rape me. It wouldn't matter if there was a 99% majority consensus. All that would mean is that I would need to kill 99 men so that the consensus matches what's in my best interest.

Thankfully, it hasn't come to that: abortion rights are what the majority of Americans want, and supporting a democracy furthers the pro-choice agenda. But just keep this thought experiment in mind, because it's not just about abortion.

Democracy is not some sacred cow, not something you can simply stamp as "the best system of governance" and end the lesson there. Democracy is - at the end of the day - a dilution mechanism. A system of checks and balances is a somewhat effective means to slow a tyrant's ability to do whatever tyrannical things they wished to do. But there is a flipside to that; maybe if an intelligent and idealistic older woman was plucked from the very bottom of the card deck and given absolute power to rule as she saw fit, she would quickly resolve a lot of the crises currently threatening our world. Because she would have empathy and first-hand experience that a lot of the incumbent powers don't. After all, it is not actually absolute power which corrupts, but the pursuit of power. Power corrupts, because no matter the good intentions a politician may have when entering a democratic system, the plutocrats who have already staked their claim are extremely savvy about playing the shell-game with her causes; they know they can force the idealist to compromise her values on one progressive issue, in order to get their permission to advance another aspect of the progressive agenda. So by the time the politician reaches any noteworthy rank in office, she has been so turned around that she has forgotten her original purpose.

What's more, no matter how liberal a democracy, there's one thing you must remember: dead men cast no votes! A system which hears everyone's voice is still only able to respond to those still alive enough to voice their concerns. The plutocrats understand this and have integrated it into the shell game. So our democracy has never been an alternative to violence, because the system we have still rewards direct and indirect violence as a tactic to silence dissent and force a specific desired outcome. On some level, we all know this: it's common sense, and yet still we preach that democracy is some sort of alternative to anarchy and violence. It's not! The parameters of what sorts of questions are up for debate, and who gets to debate them, are still drawn in blood.

And so, my platform is simple: abortion is not up for vote. Abortion is not up for debate. Pro-choice is the only acceptable position for the world to hold, and anything that threatens that conclusion must be crushed with an iron fist. Free speech be damned, misogyny must be intimidated into submission, until our sons never even think to question whether a life-saving medical procedure should be banned. If promoting majority-rule is the fastest way to ensure this future, I will promote democracy. If installing a feminist authoritarian from a minority group in a life-long position of unilateral power starts to look like a faster or more certain way of creating that future, I will do that instead.

Women have the right to defend themselves against exploitation; nothing we do, no matter how violent or short-sighted, will leave us as the villains of history when we have been backed into a corner like this.

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

Hi, @bunnycat70, I don't accept messages from blogs with no age because I don't wish to be dm-ing with potential kids. Not saying you're a child, it's a blanket statement. Hence the 18+ at the top of the blog. Replies and asks are fine since 99% ofbthe time they're related to my posted content, messages not so much. Just my boundaries.

But Gray Wing has, many many times in canon, worried more about how people see his extremely dangerous, abusive brother, than the people said brother has hurt. This is enabling behavior. Along with trying to peacefully tall with him and reason with him. Clear Sky is a proto-dictator, you can't reason with those types. When Bumble is dying and it is very clearly Clear Sky's fault, all Gray can think about is that people are going to hate his brother. Not the woman bleeding out in front of him.

He is also horrible towards every female character he meets. They're either attractive and he wants them immediately, or if they aren't, they're ambitious and threatening despite everyone being logically on edge due to Clear Sky's threat. Clear Sky's "redemption arc" doesn't work due to his previous actions the writers of the next book forget or don't bother to remember or don't or are maybe having some kind of power trip fantasy, and Gray Wing's excusing of them means he is enabling Clear Sky to commit more atrocious acts. This cat slaughtered a mother with 2 kittens and literally left her body to rot for like... Weeks. He killed Bumble, who did nothing wrong, murdered Rainswept Flower for offending him (despite the next book trying to say "oh he wasn't in his right mind anyways remember this event that didn't happen?")

You don't get to make excuses for those peoplenbut not others just because you have connection with the first and foreigners are evil. You do not get to be possessive over the girlfriend you treated like shit before you started being attracted to for wanting to take shelter during winter and accuse her friend of "stealing" her when you pushed her away until all the prettier girls got fridged. You don't get to be eager to throw out a domestic abuse victim for being fat and 'too traumatized to be useful'. You do not tell a mother who just lost her child that "Maybe it's better only the strongest kits survive" when that baby's corpse IS STILL WARM and CLEARLY SUFFERED in his last moments. (All while Clear Sky kicks cats out for being "too weak", hmmmm). Later after his death he effectively says that cats can't change and rather than try and help and accept that they can change after their death, he takes the lovely excuse "Well you shouldn't be bad in the first place".

Fucking RICH coming from you, I bet your brother was really scared when he murdered countless cats, smacked, emotionally abused, and endangered children, and left "useless" cats out to die while piles of tiny animal corpses rotted in his camp. I bet he was totally terrified of cats starving to death while those tiny bones bleached in the sun.

And you know the writers still think this is a good thing, because they constantly claim he is full of "love and compassion" and actively pushed back his death because they like him so much.

So yeah, with all that in mind, Gray Wing is the very first villain protagonist for WCR, and he's a shitty cat in canon.

[rmorde]

SaShiSu: Honne-tatemae (PART 1)

What is "tatemae" and "honne"? What role do they play with SaShiSu? I'd like to explore these ideas these series of posts.

Now, a few clarifications:

This is not a serious university level research study. Please do not expect equally serious citations.

Aside from the "tatemae" and "honne" definitions plus their significant role in Japanese society, the rest of non-canon/official stuff are purely my opinion. So, if you disagree, it's alright.

Okay, cool? Cool.

TATEMAE & HONNE: A GLIMPSE

Now, back to "tatemae" and "honne". Simply put:

Tatemae = Facade -> The "face" shown to remain in harmony with society Honne = True feelings -> The real face hidden away from society

"Tatemae" is the "masked self" used to get by and avoid causing trouble to others. "Honne" is the "true self" suppressed deep inside in exchange of being accepted by others easily.

These concepts are vital when living in Japan. It's practically a communal obligation because being in harmony with society is everything there.

"Tatemae" is practiced by everyone EVEN among people with very close relationships because it has to be ensured first that said connection is extremely strong and trusting. The people involved have to become so in tuned with one another that they can read between the lines whenever they interact. So, when people starts showing their "honne", they would just get it without fuss.

SaShiSu: The Disaster Trio

So, what does "tatemae" and "honne" had to do with SaShiSu? Frankly, I think it is what led to their disastrous end which I talked about a bit in the past. This is kind of an expansion of it.

I'll establish first how I think their honne-tatemae works first. Starting with simplest one:

Satoru

Satoru has no tatemae to speak of at the beginning. He is crass and rude. He has no filter whatsoever. He shows 100% maximum no chill honne.

If he says "We're strong together" to Suguru, he meant it 100%.

If he displays comfort drawing confidence from Shoko, it is exactly just that. No double meanings or ulterior motives.

Satoru functions in JJK's world with just his honne and a lot of people around him dislikes it - even pre-Toji Suguru admonished him for it.

However, during the Star Plasma Vessel mission, he started to have a semblance of tatemae for Riko's sake. Satoru wanted her to live her last days worry free, so never once did he display any weakness in front of her and Kuroi. The only one privy to that was Suguru.

Even after being stabbed, Satoru kept his bravado: "[I'm strong]. It's fine. [Everything will be okay]." He also used it on Suguru so he'd be dissuaded from backing him up and just focus on helping Riko escape. In a way, this was the foundation of the tatemae Satoru would display for the rest of his life.

However, this tatemae is not a traditional one. It is not put up to maintain societal harmony (aka to please the conservative higher-ups). Satoru put it up as a reassurance for the people that matter to him. He is not doing it to make society happy. It was for the sake of the people he values most.

Another complication is Satoru's tatemae and honne are practically blurred together. He only had to "save face" twice:

The aforementioned reassurance when Toji stabbed him

The happy face he had for his students after he killed Suguru

So, distinguishing Satoru's tatemae from his honne is a nightmare for everyone because his facade is never really tested much. They never saw it crack to help them tell the difference. This means that people just assumes that Satoru is using tatemae all the time to be safe - that he has ulterior motives in everything ranging from annoying to threatening.

In truth tho, Satoru is being real for real. In his perspective, he rarely has to use tatemae. So, technically he is still functioning with no chill honne. Just 99.9% and not the previous 100%. It's not much difference from when he was in school but different enough.

'Satoru shows "honne" 99% of the time. People don't believe it and thinks he is showing "tatemae" instead. Satoru has yet to catch on the misunderstanding of his image.'

Up next! The unexpected disaster of the trio.

Shoko

If Satoru is honne menace, Shoko is the tatemae nightmare. We never see beyond the surface with her.

Details about Shoko are minimal. A simple answer to that could be that Gege didn't care. But considering his female characters had substantially fleshed out backgrounds (narrative utilization of their characters are a different topic), I think a case can be made that Shoko's little to no display of PoV is intentional - that she always held her true thoughts and feelings very close to her heart and it takes a miracle or the end of the world to even glimpse them.

To put it simply, Shoko is the exact opposite of Satoru. Her tatemae is ironclad 21/7 and her honne is so shrouded that it fools people into thinking that it's actually her tatemae.

Her unflappable personality and neutral stance made her look cool, calm, and collected albeit detached. It is a great facade for her job as their resident doctor & forensics. But it is terrible for her relationships because everyone thinks that is all there is to her and leave her alone to it.

'Shoko shows "tatemae" nearly all the time. Compounded by the fact that she is rarely seen off-work and without her poker face, people assume she is always like that. No one tries to understand her "honne" because they believe she is already showing "honne". She has yet to show skills in refuting the wrong perception.'

Lastly, this fucker who I absolutely love but really really needs help. The poster boy of honne-tatemae:

Suguru

Satoru and Shoko are two awful cases of honne and tatemae on steroids. Suguru is the one who uses these concepts very well much to his advantage and detriment.

I think it was mentioned before that, officially, it is actually Suguru who is much more popular than Satoru. It is not hard to see why in a Japanese society.

Suguru is the epitome of an ideal man in Japan from his looks down to his behavior: tall, dark, handsome, and very appropriately polite in public but refreshingly fun in private.

Suguru fits the Japanese ideal especially for that last factor. He knows how to properly show tatemae and honne. In front of authorities and strangers, he is the prim and proper stand-up guy aka "dutiful model sorcerer". However, among friends, he is as much of a nasty gremlin as Satoru albeit more agreeable. The contrast makes him charismatic which is a great boon for his work and relationships.

At the same time, since everyone knows his tatemae, he has basically boxed himself in a particular role publicly. This was not a hardship at first for Suguru because his facade is in line with his true feelings. It just all fell apart post-Toji because the experience transformed his honne into something so antithetical to his tatemae.

Suguru grappled with that incompatibility for more than a year until eventually, he came to a decision to discard his tatemae of "dutiful model sorcerer" by becoming a mass killing curse user.

Does this mean Suguru is now living like pre-Toji Satoru - just 100% maximum no chill honne? No. Absolutely not.

In fact, Suguru displayed his honne-tatemae on a much grander scale instead.

Tatemae = Ordinary Facade World of Non-Sorcerers = A helpful monk Honne = Cursed True World of Sorcerers = A genocidal curse user.

Even on a micro-level within his new family, Suguru also maintains another layer of honne-tatemae which seems to be only Satoru, Shoko (maybe), Nanako, and Mimiko were privy to.

Tatemae = Jujutsu sorcerers, especially those from school like Satoru, are his bitter enemies. Honne = He actually has no hard feelings against jujutsu sorcerers and their enmity is just simply a difference of mindset.

'Suguru is a master class of how "tatemae" and "honne" works. Unlike Shoko, he is in full control of how he presents himself. Unlike Satoru, he is also in full control of how *most people perceive him.'

*I say "most people" here because Suguru failed to control how Satoru and Shoko view him. He was absolutely delusional at thinking he succeeded at it. What a dumbass. I'll explore it next time in PART 2. This post is already long as it is. I'll just leave it as PART 1.

[horseforeplay]

i am 99% certain i know who you're talking about. we're still in mutuals because i'm afraid of her after noticing how many rumors about p***** t***** linked back to her but what the fuck happened if you don't mind sharing?

hmmmmmm yea. no comment re: p.t. but i can speak to my own experience

it's still hard to talk about but i was dazzled by a relationship with a B-list tumblr lesbian when i was seventeen and she was nineteen where she used me as her therapist and refused to let me leave when i realized the relationship was wildly unbalanced and unfulfilling. she was incredibly charming online but during her first physical visit it became clear that she did not care about who i was as a human being and we had zero chemistry. we kissed maybe twice during a nearly three-year relationship and when i attempted to get out she would threaten self-harm and suicide in retaliation. this went on (with my total compliance -- i can't think of a single way she abused me which i did not eagerly collaborate with her on and make compassionate excuses for) until, about four months after our "official" breakup (one she vetted for nearly six months before she felt comfortable going public with the news)............ i was taking a two-hour exam at college and left the classroom to find almost thirty voicemails calling me names, accusing me of cheating, telling me she hoped i was happy with whoever had poisoned me against her. four months after the breakup. and i finally blocked her phone number. and she made tumblr post after tumblr post (including one with my phone number so her followers would call me to "talk some sense into me") stating that if i did not speak to her she had a plan for killing herself. i have comprehensive screenshots of this meltdown, but they are boggling and upsetting and i don't care to share them in the context of just uhhhh LOL answering an anon on my succession blog. so i deleted the blog i'd had since i was a kid. i had enough. i cannot tell you how surreal it was to break down and call her, weeks after, just missing this person who had alienated me from my friends and family to such an extent that i believed she was one of the only people in my life who loved me, to hear zero emotion in her voice as she told me it was over because my blog was gone. the relationship was no longer a public source of clout for her and therefore not worth her attention. she immediately moved on to bullying a different cartoonist into submission. i did not realize the extent of what i endured until i was able to connect with other people who dated her and we were able to compare stories. i even apologized to her, owning up to my behavior in the relationship (after a stint in codependents anonymous and early transition anxieties made me dead-set on doing the right thing with zero regard for the reality of my situation) and then realized with horror that someone she abused soon after me also apologized around exactly the same time. all of our stories had frightening similarities -- the idyllic super-online early days, her dead-faced disinterest when she met us in person which would flip into picture-perfect happiness as soon as she pointed the camera at herself (one ex had a story about her seeming bored and even being pointedly mean to them until she insisted they take a selfie, at which point she would not stop kissing them as long as the camera was on). like i am a human being who has certainly hurt friends and partners and then made clunky choices when it came to amends, i'm not some saintly victim because i encountered this person (and neither are any of the other people i connected with who had similar stories about her), but i'm not gonna put my hands over my eyes and pretend i don't see a bloody trail of repeated behavior with her just because none of us are perfect survivors. literally no survivor ever is

and LOL i don't mind sharing. while also bearing in mind that social media is truly not the forum for understanding any of this, like this is Her Domain for a reason. survivor testimony, no matter how articulate, just does not hold a candle to practiced DARVO tactics and the tried and true appeal of being shamelessly and flippantly cruel on the internet for fun. like i can be as honest and earnest as possible Online but if i think for a second that that'll save me i'm fucked. like i am smart enough now to know this LOL. the complexities of that relationship, what it was like being on this site between 2012-2016, how much shame and fear around transness played into it, how tied up fandom behavior was in interpersonal abuse........ like. i'm gonna make comics about it because that's where my power is. like i'm grateful i am no longer so afraid of this person that i feel like i can't Share My Truth Online but also this is not the end-all-be-all for how i express myself. it's much bigger than fuckin..... posting u know

[autisticlee]

sometimes I really want to do boring generic things that most other people do all the time and take for granted, that I never get to do. like going to a pumpkin patch in the fall, picking a pumpkin, then carving it. i've never picked pumpkin before. last time I remember carving one I was a tiny kid and my mom had to end up doing it because I couldn't.

the more i do things alone, the more frustrated i get and more i end up facing some horrifying danger because being autistic disables my ability to keep myself safe and navigate the outside world alone, making me an obviously easy target for bad people and likely to get hurt from the many traffic violations i do every time i drive because of how much i struggle to do it, yet am still forced to do it because im forced to do everything alone. do you know how upsetting it is to not be able to experience "normal" life things you watch everyone else do and brag about and post all over social media because you're disabled and cant keep yourself safe but everyone constantly dismisses your struggles and experiencess? so your only choice to keep yourself safe is to give up living your life since dont have any close friends or people at all 😭😭😭 not even one person! everyone has at least one person right? one person to go to? Who is there for them? (maybe not people here since this is the lonely autism site) at least irl people do and every friend i've made online. I have no one irl. i'm always stuck alone.

I know. I know!! before i'm told again. I know. do it anyway. keep doing things alone and i'll "get used to it" (how long until then? it's been my whole life long already and I'm still not???) stop complaining how boring and difficult it is. stop making excuses and being paranoid. stop letting your dangerous mistakes that luckily didn't get you killed stop you from driving alone. or doing anything else alone. stop letting the multiple times creepy strangers threatened you, took your money, and sexually harassed you, and all the ones that tried to kidnap, hurt, and sexually assault you when you were alone stop you from doing things alone. thats what i'm always told basically. tough luck its your fault if those people hurt you! you should have been careful! being disabled by your autism isn't an excuse to be unable to do the things your autism prevents you from doing! haha! 🫠

but why must I knowingly keep putting myself in danger, when i know im not equipped to "be careful" due to disabilities, just to experience a semblance of "normal" life? does being forced to do 99% of things alone while not enjoying any of it even qualify as "normal" though lmao. why is this my life?😭 why do I deserve this in the eyes of everyone that tells me to "get over it"

I always hoped i'd make it somewhere in life and "grow out of" my struggles like I was told would happen if I "just do the scary things alone enough" so I could prove all my bullies wrong and make them jealous I have a cool important life they can't be part of. turns out they're right and i'm stuck being a useless loser that can't even figure out how to enjoy being out alone without getting severely overwhelmed and sensory overload, shutting down and becoming a dissociating zombie, doing everything wrong and not able to speak so cant ask for help, and attracting creepy freaks that threaten me for money, threaten to kill me for whatever reason they make up, try to kidnap me, try to sexually assault me, or explicitly sexually harass me. why is this my life. I don't understand. and I also don't understand why everyone in my life dismisses my experiences and concerns and won't take it seriously. even if it happens time after time. they say oh well you have to do everything alone anyway.

why is my only choice to keep me safe since no one else cares is to give up living my life? stay locked inside my room and do nothing and speak to no one and never have friends and never do any of the things I want to do? Great life 10/10 /s

[lexidius]

hey! sorry, i’m really awkward. we’re mutuals and everything but i get super anxious being the first one to dm people. i just wanted to say it’s really nice to find someone with similar views, especially on syscourse and shipping. we’re very rarely able to be open about being a system, kin stuff, or any fandom interests really because of how intense the harassment from antis can get. also the fat positivity is wonderful to see as well :) i hope your pillow is always cold and you find $20 on the sidewalk soon

hey i totally get it anon! i used to be pretty heavily involved in both the pro and anti sides of Discourse on both tumblr and xitter (pronounced "shitter") and no matter the subject, be it plurality, alterhumanity, shipping, politics, fatpos... spicy furry cringe porn... it was... usually a mess that could have been avoided if I'd stopped worrying what others thought about my interests or what kind of personal autonomy I carry with my identity. Nowadays I usually just decide "fuck it, I can't get everyone to agree with me, who cares." If they're not willing to hear me out after I've tried to hear them out, and their arguments don't seem to be able to sway my opinion or come from a place without personal bias, then it's not worth my time to give them any attention or let their bullshit get under my skin.

Haters gonna hate, I'd rather just keep doing what I'm doing and as long as I'm not hurting anyone irl or imposing anything on anyone, or condoning/endorsing/excusing anything that could be harmful outside the realm of fiction/fantasy, then who the everlasting flying fuck cares? A majority of the shit I like in fiction is also stuff that I'd be downright terrified to try or see emulated irl tbh, or it's stuff that literally can't be done safely eg. fuckin... objectum/conceptum sex with a lightning bolt or tropical cyclone or whatever. because basically my fappin-and-zappin fun times would just fry me to a crisp and kill me on the spot, which is very... not fun, lmfao. I actually want to write a proper fully fledged post one day about the fiction vs reality dilemna and how to balance these things in a way that allows Narnia to still feel real and valid while not actively affecting reality outside the wardrobe, keep putting it off though. But I digress, that's a rant for another time.

I hope you can find some form of safety and comfort within a niche corner of your fandom experiences, even if it's only small. A large part of navigating fandom, imo, is just learning not to give a flying fuck about what other people in fandom are doing and if someone's going to be a nasty-ass fuckwit and start threatening to doxx you, making up shit, throwing around wild allegations and generally just stirring the point because of whatever personal vendetta they have against against others in the fandom, then they're just bringing everyone else down by being a NASTY-ASS LITTLE FUCKER who's only going to end up digging their own grave and eventually too many of these kinds of wankers are going to kill the fandom in question. Unfortunately there's only so much that legal action can do against the sincerely malicious people, but for anyone else, 99% of the time they're just talking out their ass and King/Queen Shit is literally standing up to their neck in a mountain of their own shit.

Stay safe out there moot, you're welcome to come off anon and dm me whenever, I'm completely judgement free as long as you're not like... a terf or racist or pro-offender or anything like that but if you were I probably would have blocked you by now so you're all good /gen

[godesssiri]

Rant time

I have 2 jobs and one of them is in a call center. The nature of the job is that you are not going to be able to help everyone, either because they are crying for the moon and you have no power to give them what they want - no one does - or because in order to help them you need them to do some of the work themselves and they don't want to do the work, they want you to waive a magic wand and fix things for them. Sometimes when you get someone like this they will threaten to kill themselves. 99% of the time they don't mean it, they're pissed off and trying to get a rise out of you. I've done this job (part time) for 19 years and today I had only me second ever caller where I was sure that if I let them off the phone they were actually going to go kill themselves.

This woman pissed me off.

I have very little sympathy for her. Yes I believed that she was capable of hurting herself but she was also pissed off and trying to get a rise out of me. I stayed on the phone with her for 32 minutes trying to reason with her and trying to get information out of her to get her location so I could send someone around to do a welfare check. I pleaded with her to call her doctor or her counselor and she stonewalled me the whole time and blamed her problems on everyone but herself. I got basically her whole life story and I'm sorry but if you are having the same problems now as you were having 30 years ago then you are the problem. She had so many people currently in her life who's job it was to help her, it sounds like she has been in situations for the last 3 decades where there were that same range of professionals around her and she has had every opportunity to take the help, to work on her mental health, to get herself out of the endless merry-go-round of crap she has been stuck in. But she doesn't want to do anything for herself, she wants other people to fix her life for her and when her life remains crap then it's their fault no hers. She had her kids taken off her 30 years ago and 'the police still won't let her see them', lady if the police won't let you see your adult children it's because your adult children have taken out a restraining order against you - that is the ONLY way the police COULD stop you from seeing them. I don't think she really has the guts to kill herself, the reason I stayed on the call with her so long was because she had threatened to make the government kill her and I was pretty sure she was going to go into her closest government office and attack a security guard to provoke them so I was trying to find out where that would be so the police could call them and they could be prepared. If she was in the US she would be someone who would commit suicide by cop, she want's someone else to do everything for her including taking her life. Looking further into her file after the call this was not her first time calling us and threatening suicide. And when my manager got off the phone with the police he told me she was known to them. I guess she just likes traumatizing random people who are just trying to do their job.

I have decided I am going to forget about her and focus on the first suicide caller I ever had because I KNOW I helped that guy. He didn't want me to fix his life, when I told him the situation he was in (which was totally fixable) he just said in a quiet defeated little voice that he didn't want to be here anymore. I stayed on the phone with him while my manager called the police, I got his address, I talked to him about small nice things and stuff that helped me when I'd been in his shoes, eventually I got him to walk out of the bedroom he'd locked himself in and go out to his flatmate and give her the phone. I explained to her that he was suicidal and should not be left alone and the police welfare check were on their way, they would be able to contact mental health services and get him help, she should call his family (whom he had a good relationship with). When I got off that phone call I was confident he was no longer in immediate danger and that his friends and family would now be aware of how bad it was and that he needed help. The fact that he listened to me and went to his flatmate told me he was capable of accepting help. That guy I felt hope for.

[renatogpadilla]

I posted 6,344 times in 2022

That's 4,993 more posts than 2021!

83 posts created (1%)

6,261 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@funnytwittertweets

@couchtaro

@memewhore

@sparring-spirals

I tagged 2,644 of my posts in 2022

#critical role - 541 posts

#dracula daily - 497 posts

#cr - 443 posts

#dracula - 433 posts

#cr3 - 341 posts

#bell’s hells - 282 posts

#the sandman - 157 posts

#kingdom hearts - 124 posts

#sonic the hedgehog - 109 posts

#exu - 108 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and if they demon slayer us and the last part is a movie and they don't release it everywhere simultaneously then anime-onlies are screwed!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

*Wakes up in a cold sweat*

IS WILD THE ONLY LINK WITHOUT A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT?!?!

Like, maybe Twilight too? Because he just howls?

Time and Four have Ocarinas, Legend is a one-man Marching Band after Link's Awakening, Sky and I'm pretty sure Champion had a harp at some point or another, Wind has the Wind Waker, Spirit has Pan Flutes and I'm pretty sure the Hero Between Worlds and the Traveler Hero (Hyrule) had instruments as well... Don't know about "4 Swords Adventures" Link, but all the others DO have an instrument, right?

So is Wild the only Bard without an instrument? And he can't hold a note or something?

It really just occurred to me because every single Link is so strongly affiliated with music at some point in, if not throughout, their Quest that it felt weird noticing that Wild didn't have something to play...

Edit: It's been brought to my attention that Twi had a Horsecall Item, which he used to Play Epona's Song, so really, yeah! Wild is the ONLY ONE to not have a musical instrument!

136 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

#4

Okay, I GET that it's because Mina talked to him like he was a normal person instead of a patient, but can I just say NOTHING in this Book has sent chills down my spine (at LEAST since Jonathan in the Castle!) as much as seeing Renfield talk normally???

Like, we've seen him be completely unhinged so much that the total 180 of him talking about philosophy and being a total gentleman is TERRIFYING!

Almost like every time he's done it without Dracula's influence, few occasions though they were, he was making it to make Seward mad. Like HE was the patient instead...

I imagine the smile in his face as he says goodbye to Mina and Jack, flies still on his teeth, and a little bit TOO much satisfaction in the good doctor's response...

224 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

#3

Mourning the loss of:

"Vax, I have a Sister." (Unbelievably happy)

"I know. It's pretty cool isn't it?"

And the later:

"Freddie, you have a Sister!"

"Oh GODS I do..." (Exasperated beyond belief in a way only a younger brother could be)

Another line that was taken from us was "Anna, I'm going to choose to believe, despite all the evidence before me, that you are a smart woman."

The most CONDESCENDING LINE Percy ever said.

And Cassandra actually entertaining the idea of banging Scanlan for a good minute before Percy threatened to kill him? "It's a shame you're not as tall as your tales, Gnome."

Oh, and in the Campaign, Delilah doesn't whisper "I broke the world for us."

SHE SCREAMS IT AT THE FULL POWER OF MATT MERCER'S LUNGS. IT'S BRUTAL.

That and many other moments (do show-onlys even know the trees have voices and the Sun Tree sounds like surfer bro Matthew McConaughey? That Vex pins Percy to the wall for a solid minute to talk him down from his vengeance? THAT PERCY ALMOST BREAKS HIS LEGS TO GET VEX OUT OF HARMS WAY???) that we didn't get animated...

¡SCANLAN'S PORTRAIT!

Anyway, PLEASE watch Campaign 1. The Briarwood Arc starts at episode 24. (Ignore the bald dude that plays the Dragonborn Sorcerer. We don't talk about him and come episode 27 you'll see why, sorry in advance.)

Do be ready for audio spikes, tho.

You will come out better for it!

238 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

#2

Linked Universe called it!

Wild ACTUALLY BROKE THE SWORD.

But man, that delay HURTS when you've been specifically abstaining from buying to have the money for this game...

531 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A Normal Day for Dream:

This comic tells us a lot about Morpheus’ day to day... Like how he still watches Shakespeare on occasion and gets dissapointed when the dreams he turned into plays get... Mistranslated.

Also, he’s a top, apparently, and he keeps REAL ESTATE IN THE WAKING WORLD. Dream has a HOUSE somewhere out there... Hmm...

542 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[medicinemane]

Man these days just kill me, and the fact my grandma just pissed me off one two many times kind of took a lot out of me too

Just... it sounds like nothing with any of these incidents in isolation, but the more I string together (knowing that I've straight up forgotten 99% of them over the years), the more it really shows a pattern

Like if you have to pick just two people to pin it on why I'm as messed up as I am, my mom and her mom (throw her dad in for 3rd place) and that's as far as you need to look. With my mom there's text book neglect, and with my grandma there's eternal belittling and the total refusal to respect boundaries, purposefully not listening at every turn

Cause I gotta ask, who literally bakes a cake just to trick a literal child because they're salty that the kid is "picky" cause they don't like bananas. You can't tell me that's a sane action, and you can't tell me that's anything but intentionally disregarding the simplest of boundaries

So yeah... not sure I have anything actionable to do with this info yet but there it is

Oh, and I never even in all of this brought up what a controlling person she is

Like she's one of those people who wields money and guilt like a cudgel. As a small child I understood the phrase and concept of "strings attached" cause I knew that was how everything from those grandparents came

My mom would basically trade time with me for money, her parents would constantly guilt her to keep her doing what they wanted. They would bitch that the phrase "guilt trip" was just psycho babble

Hell, my grandpa who at least I think liked me even if he wanted me to be totally different, the time as a little kid I was like "I don't want to talk about this, you're making me mad" was like "no one can make you mad" then acted shocked when I got pissed at him

Fucking constantly got stuck in car rides with him, which he basically used as a way to have a captive audience while he harangued me about whatever shit he was fixated on that day. Sometimes it was a nice ride, usually it was a lecture

Then one time when I'd actually started reading (but not a book he cared about) he insisted I do this history lesson with him, and I'm like... once I finish this chapter

No, now. He follows me through the trailer insisting all the way back to my room, and I go into the bathroom which was one of those open ones, and he's standing outside not letting up, and I'm slapping at and kicking the walls saying "leave me alone" and my foot goes through the flimsy innerwall of the trailer and he was shookth to the core in terror (for guilt, I mean he was a huge guy and I was 12, he wasn't scared of shit)

Anyway, that's off topic. On topic is that the real reason my grandma hated me getting the house is that it meant I cut off some of her control of my mom. She couldn't threaten to stop paying and make my mom move in with her like she'd constantly do (she never knew I'd moved out of the trailer, she thought she was threatening me too, but my dad was paying a sanity tithe for me in the form of rent money)

And petty too, my dad bought me a Thomas the Tank Engine board game, they decided they'd bought it for me. When my grandpa came over to help my mom clean up the trailer, he'd just throw out stuff he didn't care about, which is where my copy of Space Hulk and Green Things From Outerspace went (really cool game with really cool art... I should find another copy)

Anyway... like I said, maybe it just give some context as to why I don't really hold much opinion for myself, cause my whole childhood I was basically told what a fuck up I was and all the ways I needed to do shit different, and my whole teen years my grandpa had dementia from the stroke and then was gone, but my grandma keeps it up to this day

Just gets tiresome you know, and with my mom it's like, you feel duty, you fucking go. Why you drag me along? I don't like the lady, I don't think of her as family, still fucking using me as a sacrifice

(Did I mention the time my grandpa told me "sometimes we have to make sacrifices" cause I didn't want to do something around my grandma cause I knew she hated me? Looking back on it, old man no one in the family made more sacrifices then that kid, y'all were always asking him to sacrifice to me you happy, every last one of you. Dad's parents not so much, though they're not flawless, but mom's side wanted nothing but sacrifices)

(Then my grandma has the gall to say I'd have turned out right if they'd just been able to be the ones to raise me. Fuck nuts, you fucked up both your children, the fuck makes you think you'd do any better with me?)

Just tiresome, and she acts like I'm bad with money, like those grandparents aren't the two worst people with money I've ever known. I got a house in 2019, they got one in like the 70's, we're not the same. You couldn't get shit these days cause you're idiots

Grandpa once spent $1000 trying to get my dad's name off the trailer (which was only there cause my grandparents wouldn't cosign it so my dad had to). He was obsessed with it even though my dad didn't give a shit, and in 2020 when time came to get rid of it... my dad just signed the dotted line and got nothing (like me, cause despite all my work the trailer was worthless thanks to my mom destroying it, best we could do was get someone to take it as is for free, and my grandma bitched we'd been taken for a ride)

Just fuck that family, they're such shit, all of them. My uncle's alright, but still a fuckhead in various ways, my mom's way better than she used to be, but fucked me up too bad for me to ever be close or even able to tolerate her

I don't know... there's no such thing as closure talking about this. It's on going, it is what is, and I probably won't be free of it till they die, which I don't look forward to exactly but it's probably true

Probably can't break free, but at least I can not fuck anyone up the same way. Preferably just die myself already, but that seems like a hassle right now, so I'll go to bed soon instead

Just what a bunch of selfish assholes they all were, and are if they're here. Fuck it, I'm not really good enough, I'm not lovable and never will be, but at least I'm not a controlling asshole and try and make the people around me feel valuable instead of worthless

[gayvlad-remade]

im watching daredevil season 3 with my mother and my brother and we've just watched ep 5 and im. concerned about the bpd representation, tbh

[biaswreckingfics]

If you are still taking requests can u do wooyoung 96 + 104 misc please!!! (Thank you so much!!!)

Mafia!Wooyoung(ish) + Crack? -aka Wooyoung causing trouble-

(I don't know where I am. Help me. + Sometimes you need to make your sarcasm a little more clear.)

If you could spew out any more curse words, you would, but you're about 99% sure that you've used all of them already. Multiple times. A branch snaps you in the arm and you let out a scream of frustration. If you ever see Jung Wooyoung again, you're going to kill him with your bare hands.

Pushing through the dense trees, you end up nearly face-planting into an open field. As if this stupid day couldn't get any worse. When you catch your balance, you observe your surroundings and see nothing but fields and more trees.

Something in you snaps and you want to break down and cry right on the spot. You're so freaking lost and have no clue how to get back to the city. You're probably going to die out in the middle of nowhere, and it'll be all your fault for listening to that idiot. 

You pull your phone out - even though you've had zero signal since you stepped into the woods - and nearly weep with relief. A signal! A sweet, beautiful, precious bar! 

Punching in Wooyoung's number, you don't know whether to cry or cuss him out when he answers. Why on earth did you listen to him when he told you your rivals probably had a cabin out here and that you should go check to be sure? Especially after you pissed him off earlier today. Of course, he couldn't remain professional and set you off on a wild goose chase for payback. 

"Where the hell are you?" He immediately answers.

"Jung Wooyoung, I swear on everything I'm going to stab you."

When you hear the rest of the guys asking Wooyoung what he did, you realize you're on speaker and that everyone is wondering what the heck happened to you.

"Threaten me later," he ignores the guys and asks again, "Tell me where you are."

"I don't know where I am," your voice cracks. "I've been walking around for hours and it's getting dark. Help me."

When Wooyoung makes a sound of pain, you hope that someone hit him hard.

"What do you see?" Seonghwa suddenly asks.

"Trees and fields, and more trees and more fields!" You want to scream, but you know that's not going to help at all. "I haven't seen another person or building in hours."

"Are you in the forest?" Seonghwa asks in confusion. "How the heck did you end up there?"

Plopping down on the ground in hopes that they'll be able to track your signal, you tell them about the job you and Wooyoung were working on and how Wooyoung suggested you search for any outer buildings. A moment later, Wooyoung yells in pain, and this time, you hear the smack.

"That was sarcasm!" Wooyoung yells. "I thought you'd figure that out and meet me at the safehouse!"

"Well, sometimes you need to make your sarcasm a little more clear!"

Wooyoung starts to argue back when he suddenly goes silent. Hongjoong's voice soon reaches your ears and you smile. "Are you telling me that you fucked around on a job?"

Wooyoung responds with no at the same time that you answer yes. Before you can start arguing again, Yeosang's sweet, angelic voice reaches your ears.

"I found you. We'll be there soon."

You let out a cheer of happiness and lay back on the grass. The only thing to do now is plan Wooyoung's demise and wait.

[baticorngirl]

I love how Shadow War is progressively making less and less sense.

Okay but why? He's been away from the Lazarus Pits for like, a year at the absolute most. Probably less, I'm not sure. But either way, definitely not enough to even BEGIN to erase the previous insanity it's given him.

Rightttt.... this. Because Damian has not been changing for the better for the last three years, and this definitely isn't just only happening now because in this case it gives Damian more angst. Ugh. And that isn't even considering the fact that, at the end of the day, Ra's THINKS that by killing everyone, he's the one doing good, not Bruce, who is supposedly indirectly destroying the earth by stopping them. Damian stopping killings, in his eyes, would be destroying the earth as well. It's DEFINITELY not going to inspire him, at least on its own. He'd need something else to actually make him realize that what he was doing was wrong in the first place, and then maybe Damian could inspire him to change.

He's just as much a villain with good intentions as people like Poison Ivy.... but after Respawn's ridiculously OOC backstory, I'm not exactly surprised that this writer doesn't understand that.

I mean... if he gives you a decent enough reason to... yeah your Pre-Morrison self would probably at least consider doing what he tells you.

God, why is Talia acting so cold to not just Bruce but EVERYONE... Bruce is supposed to be the edgy one here, not her lol.

Okay so basically he has no reason at all to trust you. I don't care what weird crap is going on with your genes, you two still hate each other. That's not how genes, hatred, or trust works.

Also, the Fandom has enough of an issue thinking Tallant and Ibn are the same as Damian just because they're brothers, can we not have actual CANON do this for a half-brother he only met like a month ago?

Look, I know I'm a Talia fan so I may be kind of biased, but why the heck is Talia being blamed? I thought you two literally stated a couple seconds ago that she had no involvement whatsoever. Is this because Respawn wouldn't have been created if she would've let Damian get tortured instead? Because if so, just.... Wow. I would say that Slade is insane, but I'm pretty sure considering he's a murderer we kinda already knew that, but.... the writer is definitely portraying this as correct, so I think he might be a little out of it too to be honest (not that I'm necessarily surprised about that, either).

She's no more at fault than Slade is, and I stand by that.

Also, they still haven't explained why Ra's wouldn't just use anesthesia. It's completely possible that, assuming he was careful, Talia would've allowed it on Damian then. It's way easier, AND less sadistic. Both of which Ra's would usually be pleased by if he's characterized correctly.

Although actually, this experiment specifically... okay fine, that probably can't be done "carefully". But he has a million other people he could do it on instead! Creating an entire clone is super unnecessary. Like his gazillion super loyal assassins, for example?

All I can really say at this point is that I'm glad it wasn't torture, because they're screwed up Talia's characterization enough as it is.

Then why did you literally threaten Deathstroke again only a few panels ago.... Damian, what are you even trying to achieve at this point?

Also, there's like a 99% chance Respawn and you have different lying techniques. He's just your half-brother, who you weren't even raised with. That means a grand total of nothing.