#but still I´ve wanted to talk abt them so bad for a while and I´ve yet to be prompted to hah

[nico-the-overlord]

might make a self-indulgent post explaining meanings to (most) of my fic titles. while I usually have a hard time coming up with them, when it does come to me ooohh boy

[my-mt-heart]

About JDM. I agree that in a ideal world no one should be talking on behalf of everyone else, show business or not, "normal work place" (ah ah) or not. But we re not in an ideal world, and people are bound to make mistakes in the heat of the moment..people are human and flawed, even tv super stars.

Also, not to blame her because she does what she wants of course, but MMB never spoke herself publicly on the matter so its kind of hard to know what she thinks.

Also again, the pb for me should not be, as i 've read, that he's a man talking on behalf of a woman. Im not saying there isnt mysogyny or sexism in hollywood or "the real world" (ah ah), but as far as im concerned (and im not a man before anyone comes at me for this), he spoke as a collegue abt another collegue . Well, former collegue, now. Also, apparently he's one of NR best friend, so if ur best friend is attacked and u feel its unfair, yeaaah u re gonna publicly defend him.

Mind u: NR didnt speak himself for quite a long time after the inital mess, i think the first thing he said was after a few weeks with an answer to a fan on line who was like "eh norman have u seen whats being said" blablabla, and he answered something like "what did i miss? 😎" in a sort of ironical/cynical way. Correct me if im wrong.

But my point is that i personnally saw a collegue speaking for a collegue, and a friend defending a friend. If it had been Lauren Cohan saying "eh guys your wrong!" Would people have been more kind to her because its ok for a woman to talk on behalf or another woman?

JDM might no be super close to Melissa but last time we checked, they were more than fine with each other (i still think abt this lovely bts picture of both of them for 10.12, yes, its just promo but still).

And he didnt say anything bad abt her. He just said "they love each other, they re both very sad abt the situation and Norman's not the bad guy here". Maybe he knows them better than we do?

Was it clumsy of him? Yes. He might have actually been hurt for Norman and didnt think straight, who knows?

Was it inappropriate? Not his role? Probably. But the argument of him being a man here, while i do in a way understand where its coming from, still cant help but feel uneased by it. I for one think if we are going to be outraged, we should be outraged at whoever is speaking on behalf of Melissa, but im pretty convinced that if Lauren or Danai had defended Norman, nobody would have bat an eye. We are complaining because he's a man, and because he's supposedly the closest to Norman amongst the cast. Feel a bit unfair.

Its ok if u or your followers disagree of course. Again, im not saying that there isnt a pb with men vs woman in hollywood or the world in general, i just think that in this case, this is not the pb.

The idea that Melissa needed a break is inherently sexist because it implies she couldn't keep up with the same workload that her male colleagues had been given. Also, blasting it on Twitter has major ramifications for Melissa because people are far more likely to accept that a woman needs a break vs. a man needing one. You may recall that Andy said himself that being overseas, away from his family, became too difficult, yet no one criticized his fans for demanding Rick back for four years.

Even if contracts allowed a lead actress to back out that way (they don't), even if it was true that Melissa needed a break (-_-), it makes her look flaky and weak to other studios who might consider casting her on another project. Melissa and AMC legally agreed to announce that the location was "untenable" for her, nothing else. That's important. Regardless of whether or not JDM said what he said to defend his friend, it went off script and that's unprofessional.

Do I like that Norman was being cast as the evil villain? No. Do I think he was the evil villain in all of this? Ultimately...no. I'm frustrated because usually when a show is dealing with a controversy, the go-to strategy is to not say anything until the situation is further assessed, yet AMC and one of their male leads acted pretty fast to directly address the backlash in defense of another male lead. Melissa didn't get the same treatment. In fact, she's been dealing with fans saying sexist and ageist things about her and Carol for years without anything being done about it. And for the record, that doesn't have to mean calling out every fan who insults them. It is worth noting though, that the one person who did come to Melissa's defense last April (in an appropriate way) was Laurie Holden, who is no stranger to mistreatment herself. That should tell us something.

So in conclusion, anon, the issue here might not come down to a man speaking for a woman, but there is absolutely a gender bias in this whole mess. JDM's actions have unfortunately changed my perception of him, and while I might be able to support Norman again eventually (provided Melissa does too and provided I don't feel alienated as a Caryl fan), it's probably going to take a lot more than a Narol tweet for me to support JDM again (not that I had much interest in watching the same drama unfold between Negan and Maggie anyway). Every time I see someone insist that Melissa needed a break and try to scold others for "robbing her of her choice," it makes me angry all over again because how can you ever really undo all that damage?

ETA: If a woman had jumped the gun like JDM did, she would've been fired so fast. JDM still has his show.

[andvys]

Tattoo Kiss part 29:

-       “You feel his hands on your body, his lips on your skin, him. You regret not letting him come home with you” Awww

-  “You need to talk to Steve” Why?

- “You have been aware of your feelings for Eddie for a while now, but you never let them out completely” Aw ☹

- “Your best friend who wants you just as much as you want him” I love them as a couple!

- “The way he was so proud to call himself yours” I love Eddie!

- Eds dreaming abt Reader? AHHH! Love it!

-Why would Y/N go back with someone who broke her heart?!!

- “You stopped eating. You stopped reading. You lost your joy in things you love doing” I definitely don´t want her w/ Steve again.

- Eddie knew she didn´t eat, and he gave her food?? He´s so sweet with her!

- “He took care of you in ways no one else ever did” AHHH! He´s THE ONE

-  “You always meant something to him” AWWW

 “He wanted you to be happy” I want to cry!

-  NOOOO! Steve on Y/N´s doorstep! Why? Let her be happy!

- “You won´t see him tonight” NOOOO, I hate Steve! Like ik he just wants to make up things for what he did to Y/N, but if she wants to be with Eddie, he will interrupt that?

- “I-I was… I found your note, I never read it. I never said I love you, I just, I didn´t say it back, I didn´t say I love you, I didn´t. I put it away, I didn´t read it, until now” I´m still angry at that. Like he focused on HIS happiness, he didn´t made Y/N happy, he made her suffer

- “Your heart hurts for the girl you once were” That makes me sad ☹

- Y/N´S mom is worried about Steve, that´s sweet

- “Why does he have to begin this over and over again?” “You were ready to move on” Now I feel like Steve wants Y/N to be happy, he still wants to be with her, but maybe unconsciously he knows he can´t, like he has seen her with Eddie and know they love each other

-  I think that Steve revealing what he wanted with Y/N hurt her even more after the break up, like the “What could´ve happened if”

- “You cannot help but cry for the girl that wanted it all with him” AWWW, I feel like if that was me irl, i´ll be sad but angry, because why would he be telling me this now that i´m moving on and starting again with someone else or that´s what my delusion tells me) and not when he first broke my heart, like ik that he started a relationship with Nancy, and maybe his feelings for Y/N were clear after some time after their break up, but when she has found someone else that makes her happy again after months of suffering now he wants her back?? No shit. It doesn´t makes sense!

- Why does he calls her baby?

- “He´s unaware of the marks on your neck” AHHHHHH

- “He´s unaware of who´s hands, who´s lips have touched your body tonight” AHHH Eddie! Love him!!

- Is Reader Steve´s AND Eddie´s best friend or just Steve´s bc, Eddie likes her, and she likes him?

- Why did I thought that Y/N and Steve were talking while sitting on the floor?

- “He came here to end things once and for all” Doesn´t Y/N wants Eddie now? Why is she preoccupied abt ending things with Steve? Like he will not be his friend anymore? Maybe they both need some space?? IDK, like I feel bad for Steve, but still, I prefer them as friends bc is less toxicity between them

- Billy and Eddie driving like maniacs, HAHAHA!

- Y/N´s  mom hasn´t appeared in Tattoo Kiss in a while!

- And kissed Eddie? Steve? I´m confused!

-  “I love Eddie, mom” AHHHHHHHHH! I´ve won in this life if Y/N says that!

- “You never told her why he left” WTF, I thought she knew!

-  “How you stopped eating and pretended to be okay in front of everyone” I´m glad she told her mom that, she could help her with that I think!

-  “I have always been here, my sweet girl. You were never alone. You were never unloved” AWWWWW that was so so sweet!!

- She always knew that Y/N loved Eddie? What a queen!

- She also knew about Eddie´s feelings? She´s a queen for sure!

- “I love Eddie mom, I really really love Eddie” AWWWWWWW

- Eddie gave Y/N a Garfield mug? Love him!

- Y/N´S  NECK!!!!

- “The marks on your neck are now visible to him, the hickeys that he left” AHHHHHHH! OMG!! I love how you wrote that!

-  “His eyes fill with guilt, knowing that you stopped eating because of how heart broken you were” AWWW! Poor Y/N

- So, Y/N wanted to paint her nails black, have her hair longer, she started wearing make up (the heavy kind) but she didn´t do any of that because of Steve???

- Everyone knew that Eddie and Y/N liked each other except for them?

- “You are living again…and god, I want to hate him for it but… how can I when he saved you from the pain I put you through?” AWW! Like I feel kinda sad for him, bc again, if he wouldn´t have drank that night maybe he shouldn´t had said all that, but maybe that´s what he needed to realize that Y/N REALLY loved him and he just took her for granted

- “He came here to let you go. So you could find happiness, the way you always deserved it” AW ☹ That´s sad. But Y/N has suffered a lot because of her feelings towards Steve, so I think that it´s time to move on for the both of them

- “I want you to be happy” AWW, I´m crying

- “And I know that you will be with him” AWWW, Now I know that Steve has the maturity to be in  a relationship, bc he can accept that the person he loves can be with someone who wouldn´t hurt her the way he hurt her

-  “You´re scared to lose him” AWWW I´m sad for Y/N, btw i´m sobbing rn

-  “I never knew what I wanted for my future but I knew that I wanted you in it” AWWWW

- A future with Eddie! I love it!!

-  Aww, I´m sad now

-  “I don´t want you to cry over me anymore” AWWW that hurts!

-  “I love you with all my heart and I ache for you, all the goddamn time, but I don´t deserve you” AWW, that hurts, that whole paragraph hurts!

- “There is someone who can give you more than he can, Someone who wouldn´t hurt you. Someone who would rather get hurt by you than do something to break your heart” ☹

-  “I choose  you, sweetheart. This time, I choose you and your happiness” AWWWW ☹

-  P.S I´m listening to the smiths while reading the fic, so i´m really sad!

-  “Goodbye, Dolly” AWW

- The fact that Y/N and Steve had been friends for a long time makes it sadder bc, now they won´t even be friends again

- “I love you, Stevie” AWWW ☹ ☹

- “Please don´t become a stranger again, Steve” AWWW I´m sobbing!

- “You will always be his friend and he will be yours and that´s all you´ll ever be” At least, they will still be friends, and I think that´s the best for both of them, bc of the problems they had in the past, and now as friends, maybe they´ll spend a lot of time together, and will have a good and healthy relationship, like when they were still friends before all the other stuff

- “Your tears are falling again” AWWW

Ok, I sobbed so much while reading this, also, I was listening to The Smiths just to feel sadder, I really like how you made Steve so mature (mentally and emotionally) in this chapter, and it kind of reminded me of some things abt myself so it def made me feel sad, but it was such a good chapter! And sorry if I was being too rude towards Steve!!!

-🩷

You were listening to the smiths just like he was in the last chapter 🥺

I’m so happy you liked this chapter despite how sad it was.

Her and Steve will always be best friends, they have a different bond, than Robin and Steve or than Eddie and her do. All the friendship bonds are special here but her and Steve are just childhood best friends and that’s something so very special. That’s another reason why she struggled to let him go because she knew that their whole dynamic would change the moment she would have to make that decision.

She finally talked to her mom about everything, including her ED, yes :')

She did change a lot for Steve, or did things for him that she knew he liked, even small things like wearing certain clothes or colors. He never forced her to do anything. She just wanted him to like how she looks.

Steve and her both changed so much. They’re both so much more mature and wiser now. They might need some time apart after this, but they will always have each other and their special bond and they will always be friends🥲

& thank you for the review, i always enjoy reading them 🫶🏻

[shorkbrian]

Prelude - I need to stop catching sight of poetry on my explore page lol. This is entirely self-indulgent and very specific cause I’m rotting thru life rn and so if u dislike I understand lol. When I was in the hospital this last time it sucked rlly bad and like the awful horny degenerate I was I kept thinking abt Kirishima and soft sweet Sugawara idk lol

Pairing - Death god Kirishima x Reader

Warnings - Suicide, suicide attempt, no smut. Death. Drunk Drivers. Yandere but only a little bit and cause I can’t voluntarily accept love it has to be forced bc I cannot handle the thot of someone who is sane loving me bc there is no freaking way lol

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5Iy1wdO0tMaHwKnfFYtlel?si=-vqod-W6SHia8ui2Hdl_9g 

Adding this one bc it’s like one of my favorites and I wish god I wish and I hope that this year is better than the last amen lol also there’s nothing more sad to me than someone pleading and begging and crying for the year to treat you nicely like bitch u okay? no. the answer is no.

https://open.spotify.com/track/0xRO7EKgYKVB8zKIoiXMDD?si=HYBaiBzjRGmQwfCHgnTUxA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It hurts.” You had told him, as the entity sat at the end of your hospital bed.

He often sank heavily onto the nearest surface, as if his bones ached with the weight of his body. You saw him often during those first few days in the hospital, days spent puking up pills, every move you made monitored, doctors and nurses scolding you about the severity of your actions.

You didn’t think they could see the hulking figure that comforted you.

“I”ve heard that it’s supposed to.” The red god of death would think aloud.

“I don’t want it then.” Tears upon your cheeks, soft, misty. “Take it.”

“Your life?” A nod would affirm his question, but the red god would shake his head. “I am no thief. Not a hunter, simply a gatherer of souls. I won’t take what doesn’t belong to me.”

“Then it’s yours, have my life. A gift, from me to you. Don’t make me live it any longer…..”

His sadness would show in his eyes.

But the soul-crushing hugs that were provided were admittedly a tiny bit nice.

“You’re far too sweet for your own good. I’ll receive your life when the time is right, not before.”

“But I don’t want it!” You sobbed into his shoulder, the god seeming to be your only friend in the world.

Hands stroked along your back, soft shushing sounds as the god attempted to soothe you in the ways he knew how. Soft touches, kind truths. “Many don’t.  But it happens - life happens anyways. All you can do is find the things that make it less painful.”

“That’s not enough, it still hurts. I can’t stand it.” The sobs wracking your body didn’t stop the entity from holding you.

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

——

He’s patient and kind.

Surprising for a god who’s work involves collecting souls as if they were taxes. A job that should be bitter and tiresome, but the entity has infinite softness resting inside of him.

He walks with you, as you get “better“.

You watch him stop to marvel at flowers, to study the way dew drips from trees in little drops, eyes wide and wondering as crows startle from their perches and take off with noisy weeping.

This courtyard is drab and brown, a prison. Safe.

Yet the god of death treats the space gently, with respect. He thanks the old walls for standing, the worn stones beneath your feet. Their service is noted and appreciated. He’s so tender it almost makes you sick.

But you come to realize that he’s simply allowing himself to be vulnerable, to experience the earth and the beings in it.

For as soon as one recognizes vulnerability, which is so different from weakness or tragedy, one experiences a sense of tenderness. Without tenderness, pleasure means nothing. You need only look at the animals to see the truth of that. It is gentleness that distinguishes their playing from the actions they constantly take to ensure their survival.

You ask why he walks with you, why he is so focused on seeing you get “better“.

A soft smile, a meeting of eyes. “There is an end to your pain, sometime and somewhere. It’s most likely not here, not in this place at least-“ and he looks around, at the cold walls, the other sick patients, the staff. All human.

“-It will come. But for now, it’s enough to try and seek it out ourselves.”

You must look more sick than you really are, talking to thin air like that.

——-

Once you return home, the red god writes you letters.

He’s an old soul, an old god. You’re sure if you asked, he’d be able to recount the very first souls he reaped, a man and a woman, sinful and sweet but in love.

The letters help you get out of bed. What new stories or little quips the god has written pique your curiosity, even when you don’t want to move, don’t want to be awake or alive.

He tells you stories about certain souls, how each one is infinitely interesting, how they all interconnect.  How some of them struggle against him, however fruitlessly. But he’s not the one who brought about their death, he’s there to comfort and guide.

Other souls, (“souls like yours” he writes) welcome him, run to his arms like a long lost lover. Their death was terrifying by their own hand, and it hurt. He can’t take away that pain, those memories. The red god says he wishes those souls find peace wherever he must take them afterwards, or at least, some form of contentment.

“The meaning of life is to give life meaning, at least, that’s what seems to be the consensus.” You rip off that part of the letter, hang it on your wall by your bed.  The other letters you keep in your nightstand, content with the knowledge that there are souls out there like you

It’s hard work, creating meaning for yourself.

The red god takes to visiting you between each letter, says he misses you, the way your soul cries. He tells you that he wishes he could help you quiet it, quiet that raging, terrible storm that hurls you about.

You make him cookies - it’s the only way you know how to say thank you. It’s what your mother taught you, so it may not be right, but the god eats them nonetheless. He likes it when you eat with him, feeding you bites from his cookie, wiping chocolate off of your nose, making you laugh with stupid jokes and a mouth stuffed full of cookies.

Even if some of them are too crunchy, or others too soft, all of them imperfect.

Imperfection is the essence of humanity, he tells you, and it’s more fun eating each cookie with the thought that you’re devouring your imperfections, making yourself whole again, filling up the empty spaces in your soul.

——

Eventually, the crawl back to your feet, rise with the unsteadiness of a toddler. You fall frequently, cry often, but you’re able to get up and try again.

Some days you need to bury yourself in sadness, let yourself feel and feel and hurt. Other days are not so bad, but still tinged  with regret and fear and sadness.

The red god is by your side, gives you something to cling to when you waver.

He is always there.

He will be there when you meet your end.

The god is in no hurry.

You question why he wastes his time on you, hours spent reassuring you, talking to you, tucking you in your bed and leaving glasses of water on your nightstand before taking his leave.

Home is a feeling, not a place. Home is with you - that’s what he tells you. You take his breath away, even though he might not even need to breath because he’s the god of death. HIs thoughts muddle and he trips over his feet and can’t help himself from wanting to hold you.

You learn that even gods yearn for home.

He’s capable of feelings and emotions just like any other human. He may be wiser, and older, able to draw from experience and a deep well of wisdom. But he still feels, and feels deeply.

Just as he gives the earth around him such reverence, he extends that same  attitude when he deals with you.

“Everything I see reminds me of you. When I wake and the sun creeps over the mountains, hesitant, it reminds me of the way that you rise - haltingly, yet it happens nonetheless. The flowers in the field that so steadily grow, you’re like ground they take root in, soft and unstable yet still tenable with the potential for growth. I don’t know, I haven’t exactly held such closeness with a human-“

He trails off, but you think you understand.

Maybe you don’t. It’s hard to relate to a god.

——

A confession occurs, and you’re surprised to learn that the blood-red god of death is in love.

“What did my hands do before they held yours? What did my heart do without all of this love? I can’t hold enough of you, I carry such love for you in my heart.”

With a frail, hopeless human nonetheless.

You don’t know what to tell him, how to explain that you can barely take care of yourself right now, meet your own needs.

But the red god seems to know, seems to understand the way your breath hitches and your eyes widen. One more hug, squeezed tight to his chest while he promises nothing has to change.

Things do change, even if you wish them not to. The world doesn’t bow to your whims, nor the death-god’s.

Innocent touches, his hand on your shoulder, patting your head, offering to rub out the tension in your back after you’ve had a crushing day - they don’t feel so innocent anymore.

The constant survellience still seemed kind, and you knew it was with your best intentions in mind that the god hovered so close, invading every aspect of your life.

But a creeping tendril of unease took hold, and you worried.

Everywhere you turned, he would be there, ready to support you, walk you through anything you wished.

Again, you questioned his commitment. Why? Why you?

“I can’t explain how fond of you I’ve grown. How heat blossomed in my chest as we grew closer. There’s infinite things I wish to say to you, ways for me to express my-my love, but I’ll just let you live.”

He neither killed you nor let you live.

Was it frightening? Maybe. But you had nothing to really live for, lost, searching for your own meaning in a big big world, floundering in an endless sea of sadness and suffering. You weren’t afraid of anything the god could, or would, do to you.

Until you woke up, not knowing where you were, in pitch black.

Arms encircling your shoulders, a soft body beneath your own, holding you tightly, a hand caressing your cheek.

A sun rose, on a strange new land, on the blood-red god gazing at you.

“There seemed to be so much more time for you. But accidents happen, Drivers drink and hearts give out. I was expecting you to grow old, for us to live and love like that, see how you grew through life.”

He looked around this new world, and you vaguely remember what had come before.  A walk along the sidewalk, blaring horns, impact, blood.

“But this will be just as nice. You can stay here with me now. Life can’t cause you anymore pain.”

You don’t feel comforted by those words.  There’s no way for you to know whether this new world would be better than the one you left behind.

[foryouthegays]

techno liveblog w timestamps lets go for ‘a new home (dream SMP)’ stream

good laugh times: 00:13:50, 00:14:55, 1:38:45, ik it doesnt look like a lot but like u should watch the stream anyway bc philzas there and his laugh is amazing and they just go so well together

times techno calls phil his friend: 00:6:00 00:37:00, 00:45:17, 0:1:09:30, 01:11:15, 01:26:35, 01:50:05, 2:35:00

FSDJKFAF;LS HE KEPT THE MUTED INTRO IN JHKADFLS (ends at 00:1:25)

i like how, when faced with Leaving Youtube, techno would choose to be an author. i want a book by techno. reblog this if u want a book by techno (with an audiobook by him as well) /hj. 00:1:33

i love how he says ehhhhhh so much lskjhdfas (abt 2 mins in) 

who the FUCK just remembers that the word fortuitous exists wtf 00:5:17

00:7:45 PHILZA TIME PHILZA TIME LETS GO

00:8:55 tommy time :/

0:14:10 rANBOO JUST WALKS IN, LOOKS AROUN ,AND LEA VE SIM CRYING 

i love how much philza laughs at technos jokes bc pretty much everything he says IS a joke he just says it in such a serious voice that p much everyone else is like,,,yeah,,,,yup,,,,and phil just knows when hes joking and his laugh is so good with technos voice. sbi? whos that? i only know philza and technoblade

00:19:30 ghostbur joins! this is my first time hearin ghostbur btw

00:19:40 haha string axe technos so bad at crafting what a fool /j

00:21:07 ghostbur: “Even I remember how to make a fishing rod!” ghostbur u just MURDERED technoblade oh my god im gonna scream hgjdfksla i love ghostbur so much

00:23:55: GHOSTBUR NO!! DON’T DIE YOU’LL BECOME A DOUBLE GHOST!!!! -technoblade 2020

00:24:55 technoblade neva lies -guys he almost did the technoblade neva dies ahh!!!!!

i havent heard anyone talk about this but techno has a dedicated roleplay voice. like listen to him talk to tommy at 00:25:08. his voice gets more even, he uses names a lot more often (seriously, listen to his theseus speech. he says tommy so often, its incredible.), and his voice gets,,,,deeper? not deeper but smoother, in a way, and he repeats what he says for emphasis instead of humor. and his voice is louder, and he seems more assertive. 

00:27:30 philza: where we goin, by the way? techno: to our- to my new home. 

techno cmon let phil live w u wed get so much more content cmonn

00:28:50 the fact that he calls the manhunt theme “dream music” makes me laugh so hard. and then his version of it,,,,,m love he (also he sings it here and at  01:14:20)

00:35:10 why is ranboo so cryptic im-

why does he just casually know the word sentry wh at i hate him 00:39:45

this is the worst sentence (structurally) ive ever heard techno say im gonna cry 00:49:33 ‘im too busy thinkin of new ideas to sleep so i could actually execute them’ and tubbos *oh?* after is just hdsfgkjlka

LKSJDHFJK 00:51:49

00:54:30

techno: thats one of dreams powers, he can just stop the rain

tubbo, quietly: like jesus!

i love them sm dsfhkjla they kept going but i jus gdfhjksa jesus has op

techno @ being the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans: haha funnie!!

techno @ having fun w religious stuff: i wILL BE CANCELLED NO-

00:58:10 “hey if ur [ghostbur]  a ghost, do instant damage potions heal you now?” “...no,, they hurt me still :(” DSIULZKJHFSLKFJH 

01:04:00 his brother named the cow bob im- aww 

also he has a fanart wall again!!!

01:09:30 “phil, you’re the only friend i have left in this world.” aWWWWW HE GAVE HIM THE COMPASS 

“dont smoke, it’s a joke” -technoblade 01:14:15

ROLEPLAY SPEECH VOICE IS BACK AT 1:16:10 “they pillage my base for everything i’m worth, they use me for the revolution, but oooOOOoo i took a pickaxe with his consent? oOOOooOo i’m a thief!”

holy shit 01:17:15 “you know what, phil? for you, the world, alright? it’s fine.” oH MY GOD HHHHGHG (context, right before they were arguing bc phil took some blocks from his base and techno thought that when he said phil could take anything he meant from the chests)

the COMIDY of that villager coming in and sleeping while techno was readin donos at 01:22:05 RIGHT AFTER phil freaked out abt inturruptin his dono readin im SFDHKJLA:

techno talkin bout the winstreak and how he wont be able to live up to that sort of playin at 01:22:30ish is super important and ill transcribe it tomorrow, but if u can id highly rec watchin it. 

01:24:20 “[readin dono] what’s your favorite movie? uh, the princess bride is pretty good” techno ily that movie rocks also he said it so fast like hes ashamed of it noo

techno says no to canon ranboo son btw! 01:25:30

01:25:55 “i wasnt in that story, therefore it doesnt matter” all of technoblr be like 

01:37:49 is great lemmie transcribe

“how have you still not gotten a second monitor?? holy shit.”

“let me tell you something. and im only telling you this because i know that so many people in the chat are gonna be furious. so i recently realized- i think the second monitor can just be any ol’ monitor, right? you literally just plug it in, and its set up? well i mean you have to turn on some settings, but like, thats it, or something?”

“yeah,,,,, uh techno you fuckin destroyed my chat, by the way, oh my god, [earlier techno told his viewers to twitch prime philza] there has been like 40 primes just flying through”

“yeahhh twitch prime!!! twitch prime philza yeahh!!! so anyways the other day, i like, i looked to my left, and realized that my old monitor has been like, five feet away from where i sit and stream for the last three years?”

“oh my god...”

“so i- i literally do not have to leave my room to set up a second monitor and i havent. and i’m still usin my laptop for this stream.

“is this gonna be one of those situations where you like, you have a thing, you just refuse to do the thing?”

“listen, my desk is-

“yOU STILL HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE!!!”

“AHHHH I HAVENT OPENED UP THE HYPIXEL PACKAGE! I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY MCC COIN! DUDE I HAVENT EVEN OPENED UP MY ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBER PLAQUE! ITS STILL THERE RIGHT BEHIND ME! ITs sTILL IN THE BOX! i never made a video on it....”

“bruhhhhh [philza laughs] thats FREE VIEWS what are you doing??”

“ill open it at 8 mil :/.”

“you could LITERALLY make a video of you just like, throwing it off a wall, and then thumbing up, like doing a thumbs up, and then that would be it. 10 seconds. ten seconds. thumb and elbow in shot. [laughs]”

techno is such a disaster i love him

01:34:18 the way techno says “tommy, that statement has NEVER been true” i dont like sayin i simp for block men but GOD sometimes his voice is nicer than usual hhhgn

“man i sure wish tommyinnit was in this stream” -nobody ever (just after previous timestamp)

01:40:15 is fuckin hilarious and im actually crying oh my god techno just says things and says them well with a completely straight face how does he do it

i cannot WAIT until theres a president w the last/first name andy so we can say president andy and think abt technoblade

IM CRIASDNGUSFHD 01:44:38 PHILZA LOOK OUT LOOK OUT PHILZA  LSKJDAFJASD;LKF

i love when techno talks abt his vids. like u can tell he puts a lot of thought into the vids (esp these ones) and like at 01:47:00 he talks abt the “I DIDNT PUT DEAPTH STRIDER ON THOSE BOOTS, FUNDY!” and how its just that creepin realization that you were doomed from the start and how he made the armor, he isnt intimidated by the netherite bc he didnt enchant it all the way and only he knows that,,, and i just,,,hgg he

he reveals that hes writin the next arc at 01:48:00: “oh, speakin of arcs, chat, i’m writing the next arc. so, you know. hope nothin bad happens in two weeks, chat!” IM SO EXCITED like he clearly has his character fleshed out and is SO good at writing and retellin history im so so excited to see where he takes it AHHHH and also taht means he might stream more bc he might make his character more important (keep in mind this is the guy who wrote self insert hypixel fanfics. he has no shame in puttin himself first and i respect him so much for it) 

01:51:20 “they’re tryin to get a second customer but they’re riskin their first” is lowkey a good line

has anyone else noticed that techno says wise a lot? like at 01:55:10 he literally says “wise dragon armor” as a joke but like i think he says wise so much BECAUSE of skyblock like hjkfdsla

01:57:30 techno plea se eat 

ok 1:58:45 is hilarious and all but at the end of his ramble he says “come back, i miss you” and lowkey im crying 

techno needs to stop knowing his audience more than we know ourselves im hsfkjda 02:05:25 “the chat’s spammin ‘eat technoblade, eat!’ like they’re not gonna start, like, theyre not gonna get super sad if i ended the stream right now, like theyre not gonna all cry ‘i miss technoblade *sniffs* why- whyd he leave to eat food, why did he listen to our advice noooo’”

02:14:50 NEW VIDEO POGGGG CARL THE HORSE POGGGGGG  NOT A STREAM HIGHLIGHT POGGGGG

02:17:40 “i could start a potato farm out here to show how much ive changed” techno last time u made a potato farm u started an entire war that lasted a year that does NOT say calm and retired to me lskgdfjagsldj

02:23:00 why does techno just reference greek mythology so much. makin me scared for his arc. 

also he talks abt smp earth a lot in this stream i love it so much

i also just. love?? how much sbi respect tommy like they bully him but when talkin bout him they just have so much respect for how much work he puts into youtube and i just,,,,hgnn they r friends 

02:33:13 sbi streamer house lets go cmon

02:34:15 “i think if i streamed every day i could keep up” on one hand YE S  but on the ohter oh god techno no we have to keep up tho

hearing techno say “violence isnt the answer” is so scary  02:35:40

02:37:30 technosneeze 

hiS BROTHER SENT HIM 46 DISCORD MESSAGES SFKDJLFLKASF 2:49:25 i love his end screen so much hes just sadness,,,,retirement,,,t,echnoblade,,,the government is going to fall on its own due to lack of organization and ideals,,,,,,subscribe,,,,,sadness,,,,,also 2:50:45 is making me laugh so hard its just sad music and technos like??? whys phil in my house drinking milk????? 

overall, fantastic stream, if ya want some chill techno philza content i highly recommend. 

[papers4me]

Authors’ Fear of Disappointing their Fans

Writing a story divided into “series“ whether it is for TV show, anime, novels, & manga can be challenging especially if the story gains an impressing following of fans. With the help of social media good stories get noticed & spread quickly, we noticed a number of authors hitting big from nobody to big names!

The more the story is well-written, the more it is respected by readers & viewers. ppl appreciate a fascinating, cleverly weaved plot with unique set of characters. Fans wait for the next installment, issue, season, & episode patiently. They excitedly share their views, criticism, theories, & reaction on different social media outlets.

Stories like Game of Thrones/ ASOIAF & Attack of Titans especially benefited from this. The fans eagerness to consume the story had caught the attention of producers & the two stories were turned into massive phenomena in TV history & anime. Both stories have a fascinating lore & huge cast that is bound to satisfy different tastes & preferences.

This happened while the stories were still on going & far from finished. Soon, watching them became a culture must that you can’t escape. The authors found themselves in the midst of unbelievable attention. An entire franchise is established from their story’s lore & characters.

Now, with every possible theory discussed & every character analyzed, the authors are loosing their grip on the plot & you can no longer produce a plot-twist that isnt predicted. To deliver a content equal in quality to the beginning, you need time, but the market is moving fast & soon the fans will turn to the next big thing & producers want to cash more!

More importantly, you’‘ve lost your grip on the characters. You can no longer deliver the blows that captured ppl’s attention, held their breath, shocked them & served the overall theme. Why? cuz the fans would want their faves “winning/ having big mark, happy after all the suffering that was the reason they got fans to begin with”.

spoilers for AOT & GOT below:

GOT producers having no source material found themselves in a dilemma. They can’t hurt any character for fear the fans will roar, so a huge cast ride unbelievable dangers & came out un hurt. defying all logic. No one of the beloved characters lost anything at the end! peace is achieved. Lots of fodder dead for drama & suspense but who cares. Wait! if we kill no one, then how is this the same show? Let’s kill the main character: daenerys !! that’s how we started AOT to begin with! killing a main character: Ned stark. Making her go mad & bad is amazing writing in theory, but the application is horrible, plus the fact that ONLY she lost while everything was solved quickly is bad. But hey, at least all the beloved side characters are happy & alive.

In AOT, Isiyama talked abt “betraying the fans” which is weird, but in the end, he chose to not disappoint the fans. He forgot that fans arent one person. They are different ppl with different tastes & sides. it is IMPOSSIBLE to satisfy all. He chose the same path as GOT. The beloved side characters went on an impossible journey & even died for one second for no reason but shock value, then returned back to life, un hurt & peace is achieved! they lived happily. But it wouldn't be AOT without major death, so, let’s kill the main character only. He turned mad & bad like daenerys. Can’t even visit his POV cuz he did an unforgivable deed, so let’s give a visit after death with short talk that explains.. not much.

Both Isiyama & OAT producers are capable writers who could’ve delivered better, but the fear of disappointing the fans has led to.. disappointing the fans more!

George R. R. Martin is now in a more difficult situation. He must deliver a story that satisfy the disappointed fans who are now convinced the creator of the source material would never disappoint! He saw the backlash, you think he himself won’t fear a similar one? Personally, I don’t think he will ever finish the books. Not cuz he can’t but cuz it is nearly impossible to reach a satisfying end after such rage. I think he’ll focus on other GOT related projects that aren’t yet tainted by fear or disappointment.

Fans are a powerful force that can open doors for wealth to authors, but if you are writing a series, you need to have its end set in stone early on to mach your plot & themes & never change it according to the current overall preference of fans. You’ll end up loosing respect.

I highly respect Isyama & Martin for creating such marvelous worlds, the time spent within is fascinating. Writing a satisfying end is the hardest part of writing a story. Isyama in particular has only written AOT, so, it is expected, I’ll cut him slack, plus publishers, advisors, producers are also involved in such things to keep the market/ merchandise alive post end.

Stories with fitting ending are rare, that’s what’s make them special. After all, preferences & tastes play a huge role. Also, authors are ppl with rights over heir creative product. They have a vision & if what they’ve written align with their own vision & not to just satisfy others, then that’s respectful, even if you hate the ending.

[briggsz]

* LUCY BOYNTON, CIS WOMAN + SHE/HER  | you know DECIMA MARNIE BRIGGS, right? they’re TWENTY-SIX, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, THEIR WHOLE LIFE ON & OFF? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to STARS ARE BLIND by PARIS HILTON like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole MUFFLED SCREAMS INTO SILK PILLOWS, GOING NUMB AFTER ICE BATHS & THE BELLYACHE YOU FEEL COMING IN SECOND PLACE thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is SEPTEMBER 15TH, so they’re a VIRGO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( b, twenty-two, gmt +3, she/her )

hellur...im back with My second baby . do i hav the brain cells 2 write them both ? no <3 bt im delusional n sexy like tht . here’s her . awful pinterest board ! hmu here or on discord if you’d like to plot . u want to plot bc u love me n decima so much . ( gentle godmod )

the much needed update: basically decima is an ex Olympic athlete tryna change her whole life n become an influencer / youtuber bc it’s all she cn do at the moment. everything she does, she gives her 110% .. doesn’t mean she succeeds either. struggles w the change bc shes so used to Living one way ( waking up @ 4 am , practicing fr 8 hrs a day , etc. ) 

ok so decima’s a new muse n if i fuck up . no i don’t <3 i’ll figure her out eventually pls dnt leave skjdhfj i lit rally tried to write this intro 3 times n i hated it each time so this is probably the Worst out of 3 bt here u go.

inspo: rachel reid (the wilds), kendall roy (succession), astrid sloan (the politician), monica geller (friends), haley keller (crawl), kat baker (spinning out), gracie hart (miss congeniality)

ok mr briggs is an ex pro-athlete n he’s the coach fr the town’s .. sports team i dont know Shit abt sports so u nod n look away 

he n his wife, alana adopted decima when she was 13 . she has two younger siblings . always felt like she cldn’t be the Responsible older sister bc had Hard time adjusting to the briggs household. not because she wasn’t welcomed, no, because she was simply trying Too damn hard. 

her life before briggs fam .. she never talks abt it , involves a deadbeat father n a teenage mother. cried for three hrs when she first called alana mom . 

thought sports would be the best way to connect with her dad, so she joined every sports club until she settled on skating . 

juggling school work n such a consuming , competitive activity .. yea ... she started to crumble under the Pressure bt asking for help ? with Tht much virgo on her chart ? nt happening </3

isolated herself from her friends n peers bc the path 2 glory is lonely .. so she thot .. 

channelled her 110% to figure skating, but something was .. missing. she no longer enjoyed skating, only did it to prove herself she cld, because her family expected her to be perfect . delusional . her parents only wanted her to be happy bt she was blinded by her ambition rip .

21, no uni degree, still skating, she met archie while on nationals.

they hit it off , for a while decima ws doing really good bc it was healthy , she had a life outside her practices , made new friends .. didn’t last for long : ) 

the highs were high n the lows .. they were . bad . ABUSE TW: he was mentally n physically abusive , decima started 2 skate more bc she just needed an escape and didn’t think of breaking up . why wld she ? she loved him , and he loved her .  : /

stayed with archie for almost 3 years, on & off. anyone cld see the damage except her .. until their last argument before The most important night of her life . TW END

she made a rookie mistake and fell while performing a quad toe loop, which was her way to the olympics. 

ironically, the death of her dream opened her eyes. she broke up with archie while she was still at the hospital, recovering from her fall

still skates , got her teaching certificate bt irving isn’t the best place to do so sdhjfk

is an influencer / youtuber . posts abt literally nothing important bt she’s using her pretty priviledge so shush

UhMMmM high pitched screams i cnt write it anymore i hate it here This makes no sense im so sorry

PERSONALITY WISE.....ok so . shes the Opposite of frederica </3 hard 2 please. finicky. aloof bt like ??? actually really warm n welcoming jst doesn’t know how to Present herself the best way .

v disciplined n sometimes feels weird abt it . as a skater it ws necessary bt now she’s only vlogging herself n posting shit online so ?? ?? cant balance idk . omg miss congeniality vibes . 

volatile .. i think .. tries 2 be nice n calm bt one off remark n she loses her shit

extremely ambitious n feels like a failure 99.9% the time rip

wears elaborate make up looks .

my body is my temple <3 vibes .... my ass

the Mom friend

cnt hold her drink . one beer n shes out

has her schedule n doesn’t like being late .

p much in l*ve with the idea of l*ve

uhm

ok so basically shes a mixture of babydoll n the jock if tht makes any sense if it doesnt . same

i hate it here

bt love her song and yes she listens to it regularly . paris follows on her insta . her biggest achievement .

[staysuki]

LMAO you were actually serious when you said that you ll drop the remaining chapters today 😭 anyways, props to hyunjins apology 🙇 omaygad hyunjin endgame yuhs 🙌 charot, seungmin is somewhere out there waiting for y/n :( and omg our girl really doesnt want anything to do with hyunjin anymore :< this ship will sink lmao well, dcurb mo naman hyunjin. (ch 29 was released 🤯) y/n has a great point though. rejected, oof. huge respect to y/n for staying strong ugh 😎 the words that she told hyunjin were so cool idfk y. i need help. AGAIN PROPS TO HYUNJIN FOR BEING BRAVE AND APOLOGIZING. just damn. jeongins #NotMyFriend is such a big mood, i love him. omg chan for mvp. oohhh minho and hyunjin have history 😮👄🍵 OMAYGADDD WET LNG SHUTA OMG WAAAAAAAAAAAATTT MINHO LMAOOO SENGMIN BACK OFF 😠 ITS MINHOS TIME TO SHINE wat tHEN WHY TF DID HE PRETEND NOT TO RECOGNIZE HER? LMAO I KENAT WITH THIS REVELATION. nO pls hahahahaha omg minho endgame bud pls omgg di ako maka get over >:( di ako makaurong papuntang ch 29 >:( i keep repeating minhos last message >:( BEST SERIES EVER UGH. im rereading the whole ass series later

ch 29 >>> hahahahhahha seungmin lumayo ka. omg kim seungmin smiled at her lol hope alls. seungmin is sad 😠 now im sad 😠 how did it end up with this? why am i so attached to EHALOJ kim seungmin 😠 ASHHHH 😠😠😠😠😠😠 “I’m a bit sad though, I thought I’d be able to have you for myself.” 😠😠😠😠😠 IDK WHO TO CHOOSE ANYMORE, SAKSAKIN NIYO NA LANG AKO PLS. HAHAHAHA DI TALAGA PAPATALO SI LEE MINHO AHHAHAHHAHA bruhhh idk why but it would seem funnier if this ended with neither any of the 4 getting to have a chance to end with our queen xd. YESS FELIX, the way to a girl s heart is by being patient. lee felix endgame 😗 “So not to make this awkward or anything—” -> JEONGIN IS SUCH A BIATCH AHHAHHSDHHSHSHSHDSHDHSAHSD dasurb mo yun jeongin :<

omgg you re really really really really great at writing, i kenat. im enjoying every second of reading :> seungmin is winning the race, skl. like srsy, among those 4, he s been the only one whom y/n even considered thinking abt dating. HALA ETO NA DRAMA. while the 3 out of the 4 are having a boys bonding time, hwang hyunjin is carefully and slowly making his way back to y/n s heart. ahha hwang hyunin endgame. “Ok.” 🥶 hwang hyunjin is sad 😠 now im sad 😠 uGH hyunjin out here doing his best to fix everything, we stan such a man. im crying 4 him 😠 hurt si hyunjin pero mas hurt ako kasi isang tao lang si y/n edi isa lang makakatuluyan niya hahhhashahshhdhshadh oMAYGAD WALA PALA YUNG 3 LMAO KAY HWANG HYUNJIN LANG TALAGA PAPATOL 😩 HAHAH CHAN WATDAFUQ 😭 the ball felt the tension, it knows that it was a bad time but destroyed their moment nevertheless. IT SAVED Y/N. i mean she still isnt sure of her feelings yet so if the kiss really did happen then im sure she might ve regretted it big time.

“You’re like a double-edged sword. You make people feel special but at the end of the day, they will get hurt. Right?” aaaa chan is so raytt. OMAYGAD CHAN IS SCARIER LMAO like how he uses is words. OMG NEWAYS IN OTHER WORDS "wag mo sila landiin kasi kaibigan ko sila" CHAROT. you re really good at making plots aaaaaaaaaa all of these are so realistic, no cap. i love how y/n seemed to be the heroine with little to no flaws at first glance, then waahhh all of it comes crashing down at the end. also their (y/n and chan) talk. i love how y/n saved them from the problem they all had been having troubles with but at the end of the day, another character comes in and made her realize of an issue she was unintentionally causing that was undermined, in some way, bc of everything thats happening. hala pucha d q ma explain, good luck na lang, this was nice, it focused more on y/n lols CHAN MVP

WAIT I FEEL LIKE VP ISNT SOME KIND OF BTCH LOL PROMISE, I FEEL LIKE SHE'S ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE ROWDY ASS OFFICERS AHHAHHAHHAHHAHHA rip hyunjin, hes the only one not there :<

omggg congrats on finishing s1 ! huhu cant wait for the next seaoson. im v v v v v v excited to see all of them coming back.

- bs

I TOLD YOU I’M REALLY BAD AT KEEPING MYSELF ON A SCHEDULE 💀💀💀. like, it’s there in my drafts, why not just drop it, i wanna see what people think already ��

PALIPAT LIPAT NANAMAN YUNG CHEER FROM HYUNJIN -> SEUNGMIN -> MINHO -> FELIX PLS 😭😭😭. and yes, i’m so happy to finally move on to new arcs, namely Minho’s 😏. i dropped so many revelations and clues for season 2 arcs hehe.

chapter 29 was too much even for me, i was so @&”;@:&;!! while writing it 😭. Secretary Kim is superior thats why :,)))). Minho not even hiding it anymore. Jeongin is such a bitch 😭💔

hwang hyunjin sneaky boy 100%. and it’s because hyunjin is the first one to have romantic history with y/n omo 🤧 bilis magpadala ni ate gurl.

AND YES I LOVE EHALOJ CHAN SO MUCH, he didn’t appear much this season but i have so much planned for him. like, next season there’ll be more focus on the student council so we get to see more of them. i started this series because i wanted to write #StudentCouncilPresidentBangChan and now season 2 will probs feature him a lot 😈. and oml, when i tell you that this is just a taste of his “scary” side jehwjshwjss. i’m so excited to write Scary Prez Chan.

Hmmm the vice president theory huh, let’s see 😏

and thank you!! i’ll probably drop a teaser sometime this week ehehehe 🤧

[nocvil]

*            ‐            ․            ↺            𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙍𝙊𝘿𝙐𝘾𝙄𝙉𝙂 . . .  ｓｏｏ ｂｏｇｕｍ . hitman        .        caretaker        .        the heel        .        a masked hell        .

❝   my love     ,     my love     ,     my love     ,     won't you stay a while     ?   ❞

possible tw’s below: parental death mention, illness mentions, murder for hire mentions, and uh m,,, i think that’s it rlly. just warning ok.

GENERAL INFO

full name: soo bogum ( 수 보검 ). nickname(s): bo, sweetie pie to his mother (: gender & pronouns: cismale, he/him. sexual & romantic orientation: aromantic, demisexual. age & dob: twenty-five, november 8th, 19-- birthplace/hometown: seoul, sk. parents/siblings: only child, deceased father, living mother. pet(s): absolutely not LOL. astrological sign: scorpio. >:-) dominant hand: both! handwriting style: mostly writes in very slanted cursive. i feel like when you see things like royal documents signed or very important letters written back in the day with that vintage cursive ... that would be bogum. language(s) known/spoken: spanish, english, korean. religion: LOL. ok. current living arrangements: a two-bedroom, two bath apartment complex with his older, npc mother. it is pretty spacious given they both have their own room, a kitchen, dining space, their own bathrooms, and a patio. bo has the money if you kno what i mean ... (: occupation/major: hitman.

PHYSICAL

picture reference: uhh... this? this look rlly gives off bogum vibes so (: blood type: type O. nationality: korean. skin tone/color: lighter tanned. birthmarks & scars: heheh wouldn’t u like to kno ??? height: five-foot ten inches. 5′10″. build: pretty average, more on the lean/athletic side though. hair color: red. hair length: uhm ,, look at reference photo? eye color: brown. diet: uhm ... bo has a pretty average diet probably. he would eat just about anything, not very picky. i think he probably has his favorites when it comes to chips and candy but he doesn’t have a special diet. exercise & level of fitness: LOOOL. let me not make a bad joke here ): how’s their posture ( or lack thereof )?: bogum probably has really good posture! i think standing tall with a straight back probably adds to his uh... authoritative look?  typical style of dress: ( from his stats page ) dresses a bit old school, vintage?, almost plain. likes wearing tucked in and cuffed shirts, rolled up pants, boots, baseball caps, at least three rings on one hand, gold bracelets. the following outfits aren’t specific to him but they are probably kinda similar. it’s hard to rlly find exact examples ): (  1  /  2  /  3  /  4  ) body modifications: none, surprisingly. probably pierced ears that he never puts earrings in. that’s really it though. he would prob like a tattoos but wouldn’t do it for the sake of his career ( because tattoos are distinguishing features ).

MANNERISMS

how does your muse walk?: def with a bit of power in his step. very protective when he is with his mother. mostly, he would walk like he calculates every single step he takes. how does your muse talk?: HAHA i just talked about this with myungok’s mun ,, he would talk very plain and probably without a lot of emotion. this would make things that are usually out of pocket probably sound kinda weird.  what accent/dialect does your muse talk with?: he is from seoul and according to google, they speak with a gyeonggi dialect there (: how would you describe the tone of their voice? are they loud or quiet?: QUIET... shh... if you speak too loud you won’t hear bogum speaking with such monotoned you could probably fall asleep. bogum asmr when?  what does their laugh sound like?: bogum? LAUGHING? i feel like bogum chuckles. so he would have like a short, quiet laugh. how does your muse typically smell?: either like smoke from a cigarette or like his mom’s perfume. what kind of air do they carry?: well jinae’s mun said he would have a dark and heavy presence and honestly that rlly fits the bill. do they have a(ny) catchphrase(s)?: time to die. what are their nervous ticks?: um.. not sure. probably knuckle cracking and finger tapping.

PSYCHOLOGY

what makes your muse happiest?: his mommy! seeing his mom thrive and gain her confidence back, even momentarily, makes him so happy. what upsets them the most?: ugh. listen. i talked abt this with some of y’all but the thought that if he ever got exposed or arrested ... how everyone in his life, including his mother, would just abandon him ... CRIES. was this supposed to be a general question? does your muse have any quirks?: i think his tendency to just be way too lax in certain situations would be his infamous quirk. what are their hobbies? how frequent do/can they do them?: bogum is definitely a simple man. he would totally like puzzles, word searches, watching the news, scrapbooking ( YES, SCRAPBOOKING ), taking walks, shopping with his mom, writing, idk, he doesn’t do anything OD or over the top. shrug. do they have any guilty pleasures?: is your muse an extrovert or an introvert? neither?: 10000% introverted otl. do they have high or low self-esteem? what about confidence?: uhm... bogum probably has an average amount of confidence/self-esteem. he’s a realist, definitely. if he look ugly he look ugly. if he look good he look good. ‘nuff said. are they easily stressed and how do they normally respond to it?: stressed? bogum could be in the midst of a bank robbery and be sitting there like ok, y’all done yet? what is your muses worst fear?: his mother finding out about his job. what is your muses biggest dream?: to either escape his job for good or to be able to heal his mother of all her injuries and illnesses. but of course, neither of those will ever happen! is your muse a morning person or a night dragon?: a night dragon? ok. anyway he is probably both. i can see bogum getting like four hours of sleep and waking up like (: let’s fuckin go! how intelligent is your muse? do they acknowledge it?: OH BOGUM has street smarts but definitely probably not book smarts. at least, not a great amount of book smarts. how can he be a hitman if he’s DUMM?! describe their sense of humor: LMAO. the real question is how can someone as funny as ME play someone as BORING as bogum?

RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES

are they currently in any sexual or romantic relationships?: HELL NO. luuuul. what is their experience with relationships?: to really think about it, bo probably had feelings for people here and there and most likely dated short term in high school but after he moved and began doing that he kind of lost all his effort to pursue romance. how does your muse view the idea of friends with benefits? have they ever had one? would they ever?: another hell naw to that sis. how important is sex to your muse?: not important at all. bogum could care less. what are their biggest turn on and turn offs?: see above pls. does your muse find it easy to make friends?: i say yes, only because most of his friends are through his mother. how important is friendship to them?: veRY IMPORTANT if bogum didn’t have the friends he has today, he probably would be a lot more sad and maybe more than just a hitman ): quantity or quality of friends?: quality! how important is family?: VERY IMPORTANT AGAIN bogum would give his life for his mother and to have his father back. are they close to their family? why or why not ?: YES. obviously asdfasdf everyone probably knows why. although bogum is now the one who runs the house, he still really values his mother because she ultimately has nobody but him in the end if she gets worse. his parents were always really good to him and when his father died, he knew that he and his mother had to stick together through it. he also knew that that he had to step up to provide for his mother because of her injuries and dementia. she is his life, really.

FAVORITES

activity: haha. you really wanna kno?... he likes word searches a lot. animal: idk. probably like. idk.  beverage: mmmm some piping hot tea. book: - color: is red cliche to say? designer: - food:  flower:  water lilies, pansies, lilies, peonies, idk, he would love all kinds of flowers. gem: i googled these. if he had a favorite it would be garnet, smoked topaz, and morion. holiday: christmas! his mother’s favorite too, probably. mode of transportation: walking, usually. movie: -  musical artist: oh boy, uhm,, i bet bogum likes indie kpop. like dean, suran, hyukoh, but i dont rlly know a lot to give you more details. quote / saying: - scenery: hm. probably night time in the living room, mom is put to bed already, he’s watching a rerun episode of a crime drama on television and thinking about how it’s so unrealistic. he’s got a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other though he puts it out halfway through because he loses interest. (: scent: i think he’d like the smell of cleaning products, flower scents ( bc it would remind him of his mom ), and metal (: obviously. weather: cloudy or rainy weather. anything that let’s him stay inside for the day. vacation destination: UM. i bet bogum would like to travel out of country to places like europe.

ATTITUDES

greatest dream: to finally have a peaceful life with his mother by his side, healthy or not. he wants to stop being a hitman, really, but it’s kind of like an addiction, plus he’s good at it, and it brings in the bacon. greatest fear: being caught and leaving his mother by herself -- it would be like the ultimate let down since he doesn’t trust anyone with her. most at east when: pls see scenery in section above. least as ease when: out in public by himself. he doesn’t have his mom as his cover. worst possible thing that could happen: PLS SEE GREATEST FEAR. ajdfkjasdfskf biggest achievement: moving to seoul safely with his mom! biggest regret: falling back into the crime life. most embarrassing moment: idk i feel like bogum isn’t embarrassing. he’s too ,, plain. biggest secret: LMAO well ... i think we all know. top priorities: keeping his mom safe, alive, healthy, and her bills paid for. also keeping himself undercover for the most part and making sure neither him or his mother are overwhelmed.

EXTRA TIDBITS

001. bogum is an unhealthy smoker but a social drinker. he never smokes around his mother though.

002. whenever bogum’s mother is around, he is on his own best behavior. he always does his best to be nice and keep up an image of her sweet son although by himself he can be different.

003. so far the only person who knows about his job is sangwoo because he sort of saw him in the act during his first hit. the two joke about it but bogum would take him out in a heartbeat if he spills.

004. i think it’s funny because i always pictured bogum as that person would give the shirt off of his back for you if you were in trouble. but he also wouldn’t hesitate to threaten to make you disappear.

005. his mom doesn’t know how he gets the money to pay for everything but bogum has her believing he “has his ways” and to “just trust him” although she asks about it every now and then.

006. though he stays inside a lot, some of the places you might see bogum outside of his apartment, are grocery stores close to his place, bars around town, museums, little cafes picking up things for his mother, dawon’s flower shop, and very occasionally places where there are a lot of drug activity.

007. here is smth: bogum is a hitman because his father was killed in a hit!

008. despite his mom questioning where he earns his money, his family has always been pretty well off but that was because of his father. so now that his father isn’t alive, it’s kind of ... fishy.

009. lmao probably your very typical scorpio minus the s*xual stuff.

010. my brain stopped working.

AESTHETICS

a card hand full of royals. empty, dark hospital hallways. dirty hands under black leather gloves. an empty, lonely wheelchair. old black and white photographs. an ashtray full of half smoked cigarettes. ripped up diary pages. rolled up fifty dollar bills. two expensive rings on each finger. responding “k” to a paragraph long text message. tri-folded letters written in the upmost calligraphy. roman numeral clocks.

[strawberryjun]

one hundred reasons to love lee jeno

eye smiles !!!!!! hes all (∪ ◡ ∪) all the time

his we young hair !!! metallic and blond and Beautiful

"no jam-jeno" what a b a b y

hes actually hilarious trust the rest of nct just makes him look bad

his dancing !!!! he always tries so hard and I know a lot of ppl compare to jisung, but they have 2 completely different styles and hes amazing in his own way

in his joy interview when he literally did Not Stop smiling

baby dont stop dance cover with jisung

his fashion sense is really nice and cute and colorful

"manners make men"

when jaemin was trying to kiss him and hes all "no,,,, ,, , help me,,,, , , sa ve m e"

speaking of jaemin , ,,,, nomin,, ,, , icons

he named his airpods "jeno's shower heads" like honestly wow

the very beginning in we young where hes dancing in the front ykno and in go and in black on black: Powerful

his face when haechan called him the funniest member

his voice is so nice to listen and it makes his raps so much better

search up "60 seconds with jeno" and u will be b l e s s e d

when he was too excited during the go filming that he was running and ran into and broke the green screen

jeno was one of the members who could do a wheelie on a bike

he tried So Hard during the I love you game but couldn't keep going bc the smile :))))))

whenever hes disgusted by something and his whole face shrivels up and wow

his commercial with the milk when he was younger and the ~cutest~ smile I have ever seen + all the other cfs he was in

I talk about his smile a lot but during weekly idol when the host complimented it and he couldn't stop smiling UWU

such guitar skills !!!!

his eyes literally Glow like I was showing my friend a video and she now stans because the universe is actually in his eyes

his instructions on how to ride a hoverboard

whenever he gets excited it's so evident and beautiful

did a whole one legged spin on the hoverboard time to Stan

part of 00 line aka the ppl who are gonna take over the world

emceeing legend

is allergic to cats, but has 3 of them ?????

hes a taurus (like me wow our bdays r three days apart too !!) and taurus men r very affectionate and love giving gifts and making ppl happy so basically is the best boyfriend you could ever ask for

hes literally the lead rapper, lead dancer, a vocalist and a visual hes really Out Here

hes soft, and his face is soft and his voice is soft and Oof soft icon

he couldn't open the package so he just ,,,, ,,,,,, , ,, ,, started hitting it

"this is jisung" stabs the mochi

just think abt how much his voice changed in two years bro I'm weak

listen,,, , jesus starts with a j,, , ,,, and so does jeno,,, ,, , coincidence ??? I think not

on the most recent the show that hes emceeing, he did this lil eyebrow raise and he got so flustered and omg

he looks so good in hats ??? wow ???

at the end of the joy behind the scenes vid, hes wearin this rlly puffy back jacket and black cap and my heart: burst

he looks so good in glasses ??? not only like framed ones, but goggles too like damn

when mark, jaemin and him were singing go in the car and he just started screaming and made them all have a Chuckle

his beautiful white shirt in the go dance practice he looked so fly

doyoung being his number one fan (other than me, of course) and always hyping him up this is what everyone should do stan jeno

when he kept slipping during one of their performances and he just kept sheepishly smiling to himself I'm gone

dude when he was playing love yourself on the guitar and haechan was singing but jeno moved to the chorus when haechan wasnt finished the verse and the way he looked and smiled at haechan wow

his go photoshoot: Art

him in eye contacts (I mean he doesnt need them but mans still looks hot)

in the joy mv, his highwaisted pants thingy oof that was Good

whenever any of the members makes fun of him, he doesnt say anything and just smiles hes so lovely

he said he likes haek-no jam !!!! and that he wants us to remember him by that and eye smiles !!!!

his laugh is a sound from heaven tbh

he won the random dance because he is a dance legend !!!!

he always seems to look at people with the utmost sincere love I've never seen him mad

in the nct recording thing when the producer said that he sounded like mark and he just goes 'well that's no good' s a v a g e

speaking of the recording he sounded angelic and also he does like this lil turn right after he finishes his part and it's so cute he like bounces back bc he whipped around to hard

his face in the song challenge thing where he was focusing and his mouth was open and he was squinting and looking towards the ceiling

him and haechan pranked jisung but changing his bg to a cockroach no jam-jeno who ???? I only know prank legend-jeno

he always goes straight from his emceeing duties to his nct duties hes a busy loyal man

his fingers r so long ??? how

he looked like such a Nerd predebut ,, , but I dig it

during nct night night where he went on with renjun whenever he spoke he spoke so softly and beautifully and I Cried

ok but his body is really nice like wiki how to have a jeno body

that predebut vid of donghae taking pics of him and he like shoved him at one point bc of how shocked he was of their similar appearance but jeno just stood their smiling at him

theres this picture !!!! its part of the nct dream official goods photoset I think !!!! he has black hair and hes like pulling on a marshmallow and honestly Blown Away from the beauty of this boy (I'll post it l8r)

his hands r so so nice and I just want to hold them :(

his black hair !!!! wonderful !!!!

jAW LINE g u y s

k I already said abt his dancing but he just picks stuff up so quickly and hes so effortless but at the same time giving all his effort idk it's just Amazing

those polaroids of him and jaemin idk of it's the lighting but he looks so Damn Good in those

when they were trying to get the food using the grabbing machine and jisung failed so jeno just 'thank u <3' and proceeded to get three foods

that video where hes woth doyoung and he kept messing with him and slapping him

his color block sweater !!!! I love that sweater so much

the random faces he kept making at the beginning of the 00 live, the one featuring his tongue rlly got me

wHEN HAECHAN KEPT SPOILING GO SO JENO LITERALLY T A C K L E D HIM wow

that vid of him looking renjun then pretending he had nothing to do with it

when he thought that his wish wouldn't come true so he just ran around with his arm in the air

jeno grabbing marks leg and mark clinging onto him like a koala so he wouldn't fall while saying sorry for whatever he did

jeno looks soft but he'll kill u with his eye smile and strong arms bro

the vids of him and jaemin at school: Pure

that vid of jaemin speaking thai and jeno saying no when jaemin asked if he was cute

the thing he did with jisung where jisung made a buzzing sound and jeno pretended to catch the bug and when he shook his fist m8 I uwu so dang hard

when he played the crocodile teeth game with jisung and scared him and he thought it was so funny he had to lay back on the couch to laugh

I really,, , , love his eyebrows ??? idk if it's just me bu t his stylists must have a rlly fun time filling them in cuz they're already so perfect

his legs !!! so nice and long wow

the biting of his bread, almost as powerful as his dancing

jeno-imnida !!!

he always looks good but when he has those stupid filters it just makes my day

his cherry bomb aegyo !!

when they were waking up on nct life and renjun kept making that noise so jeno fell on top of him

on nct life when he was playing the guitar and just Setting The Mood

he said jaehyun was one of his favourite artists he just respects and admires nct so much

shoulders: Wide

hes an absolute god tier denim wearer

I think the question was something a long the lines of who would be the best emcee and they kept saying chenle but the whole time jeno was just in the back pointing to himself and trying to flex well guess what mOrk

sleepy jeno = clueless jeno =baby boy jeno

"jeno hwaiting !!!! hehehhe"

when doing the holding hands with jaemin his "I'll hold u like this, ,,,,, UAOOOoooOh"

right before the we young (?) performance markhyuck were arguing and blocking jeno fron getting to the front where hes supposed to be and so he just moved mark out of the way ICONIC 100. literally softest boy ever, loves his members and what he does so much and I'm proud of him and his no-jam there I said it

[featherdownmoor]

tw mention of self harm

The day i traumadump onto him will be the day im really hanging on by a thread

Looked thru old texts and saw one from 2019

It was late @ night and he was having a breakdown

Some girl from his school had sent his friend unsolicited pics of her cutting

And he was so angry and sad for his friend

And then that same girl texted him just minutes later and tried to start talking about cutting and he blocked her immediately

But by then it was already too late. So he was crying now and i was trying to calm him down (long distance style)

He was saying how he gets random people trying to dump their shit onto him

Stuff about drug addiction and self harm and suicidal thoughts and he says he hates hearing those people tell him that shit

Because he wont be able to help them or do anything about it. It’s probably triggering as well so yea

And i still don’t know whether I’m just a random person to him or not. He’s called me his close friend before but like how do I know he isn’t just saying that?

These days ive been introspective, and i think I’m too codependent, like to a fault. Regular friends can not talk for a while and everythings fine, but when it happens w me and him i get very antsy and when he doesnt reply asap i get irritated, which isn’t very fair of me to do. (I’m working on it tho, it’s getting a little better)

But i cant help but wonder if he sometimes feels codependent on me too. Maybe his standards for codependency are different than mine. What if to him, when i text first, it’s because im bored or lonely, but when he texts first, he thinks it’s him being clingy and codependent.

Usually i wouldnt think about this angle because when someone doesnt really text you first, the reason is pretty straightforward, they just dont wanna talk to you. But there was something that made me think a bit differently.

There was a girl called Ve who was talking to him for a while last year. She also befriended me thru him. She was kind of weird. She also had a sort of dysfunctional crush on him that coalesced into her masturbating on video call w him and him finding out and then they just stopped talking ig. But for some reason she was weirdly supportive of my friendship w him, to the point where she seemed overly interested in us.

In the beginning she was nice to talk to, so I did share some things with her, like what I thought of him and some insecurities i had towards our relationship. He trashtalked her a lot and said she was weird and pervy (he was right in the end) but at the time it just made me want to confide in her more. one of the insecurities i told her about was the fear that i talk to him too much and that he wants to avoid me, which is basically me being too codependent.

And for some reason she was really shocked that i would say that. She sent me a screenshot of her chat w him. She asked him if he had talked to me todat. He said no, and he started telling her how i was having my year end exams for the entire week. Ve said he could just text me anyway and he replied saying he “didn’t want to disturb me”. Then he said “i miss her sometimes tho”.

So reading that screenshot was like getting the breath knocked out of me. Having random affectionate language keenly used about me in third person, completely unsolicited, by someone I thought didn’t give a shit abt me. It was very obvious he didnt like Ve but here he was talking about me happily with her. It stumped me. I think about it sometimes.

Basically, i still dont know where I stand with him. I’m just gonna keep working on my codependency issues and give him and myself space. We should learn how to be casual, text when there is things to say. And if one day he misses me enough to tell me about it honestly, then we’ll see how it goes.

I won’t traumadump, but the second i try to do it is when it’s bound to have gotten very bad. So im not gonna be spending that second in my house behind a screen. At 2am I’m gonna take my bike and cycle to his house. I’ll call him when I’m at the guardhouse and he’ll walk me down the street to his house. Then we’ll climb up and go through the window into his room. And then i guess I’ll stay there.

[daccys-blog]

hello angels ! wink wink. i'm kit, i'm nineteen and i ( never fcuking learned how to read ) use them/they pronouns. to keep it short, i can be really shit at ims or blast u w/ mssgs .... there is no in between and i'm srry ! also, i have discord so if anyone wants to plot or chat on there .... BTSLetMeKnow.mp3 ..... anyway, i've been highkey in love with harry styles for like six years and i'm also very into anime and even more into kpop ! talk 2 me abt bts ? pls. 

to learn all about the muse i'll be playing ( i won't promise this intro is any good .... but when have i ever been good @ intros fhsidguh ), pls continue under the cut ! 

Is that [ HARRY STYLES ]? Nope, that’s [ DACEY WARD ], the [ TWENTY-THREE ] year old human who is [ A PART OF ] the resistance. [ HE ] works as a [ REVEREND ]. People say that [ HE ] is pretty [ + MAGNANIMOUS ] but can be [ - BROODING ]. ( kit / them/they / mdt )

so ! joining this rp is a pretty Big Deal for me bc i get to play ward in a universe where he makes absolute sense. also for the first time. thank u. although the plot has made things challenging in regards to his beliefs, it's honestly so fresh and he can brood Even More ? thank u. anyway .... i'm kinda just jumping into this without a specific format in mind .... just hope i find it along the way ! n hope i don't make it all confusing fhiusdhfg whatever happens after ur finished reading this .... my ims r open and i am up 4 explaining anything necessary to make a plot/connection w/ our charas. 

HIS PAST ///

ward was born on feb 1st, 1994 ( yes this is harry's exact birthday fsdghuih thEY'RE BOTH AQUARIUS ?? MIGHT AS WELL ) 

two hours after his birth, he was handed to an endless system of foster care , being removed from foster home to foster home and waiting to be processed into a new , unknown family . as his age increased , his chances of adoption decreased , and by the age of twelve he convinced himself into forgetting about the idea of having parents , and siblings , and a house where he didn't feel like a stranger .

coincidentally , the year after that he was placed into a long-term home , with a family of three other foster kids and a couple in their forties who had children that had already married and moved away - they needed the money , but that didn't mean they treated ward and the other children like emotionally neglected pets . 

these foster parents taught him the word of the lord . ward had grown up around so many people , each with different opinions and views towards angels , that he hadn't formed an opinion of his own . he just felt pain from the suffering of others , and that was enough to breed hesitance when agreeing to the way angels were captured and held against their will . in one occasion , when he was twelve and hadn't been moved to his long-term home , he shared his views about disliking the way angels were treated ( because in the words of a twelve year old: "it's not their fault they were born that way" ) , and his foster dad at that time ( who had been sharing his own opinions regarding angels which entirely contradicted ward's feelings ) beat him with a broom stick to ' knock some sense into him ' . this is what resulted in ward being moved out of that home . 

he quickly learned that his new foster parents would never do something like that , though . a huge part of him was relieved to learn that they were part of the resistance although he didn't know what it was at that time . 

he didn't share their beliefs right away , though ... it was one thing to be glad about not being beat with a broom because he disliked the way angels were treated , and another thing to accept god into his life . so he didn't , for years . 

as far as he was aware , god was gone . this is what they taught in history classes . he knew that there were groups of people which still believed that god would come back , but there was never much room for thought about them . 

instead , he became an unruly teenager with massive abandonment issues . in his own quiet way he would be defiant of authority and his foster parents , thinking he owed nothing to the world because nothing owned him . nothing really owned him . not like a parent would . nothing like a real parent . 

in his rebellious years , ward experienced a taste of utterly wild youth , until the cancer was detected . he didn't tell anyone about the pain because a part of him wanted it to be a sickness . a part of him wanted to die . a part of him wanted to see what else there was , or wasn't . a part of him always felt like it was living in darkness , anyway . 

he was rushed to the hospital after collapsing down the flight of stairs in his house , effectively fracturing a wrist along the way . after hours of waiting for test results , the news was broken that he had bone cancer in his lower right leg -- right below his kneecap . in the end ward didn't know what to do with the information . he was both terrified and trying to convince himself that it's what he wanted . he was eighteen , about to turn nineteen . 

his foster parents offered the support they could . it wasn't their obligation to pay for ward's hospital bills , or to make sure he was receiving the right treatment , or to make sure he was fine at all , but they took a bit of the burden upon themselves and tried their best to give him mental and emotional support by using the lord's word . 

it was determined that he'd receive almost immediate surgery to remove the cancer before it spread any further -- and through this process ward thought he reached the lowest low with his mental health , but he hadn't been told the surgery had failed yet . that came months after . 

the pain subsided for a while , just for a few months , and then it grew unexpectedly . on his next long stay at the hospital , he was scheduled for an amputation . this was both a period of a total darkness and the appearance of a blazing light . it was when he lost a part of his body but gained a powerful part of his soul when he opened his heart to god . 

after his surgery , ward began recovery and got fitted with an artificial leg . it felt like a beginning , more than anything . in a way he felt like accepting god into his life was almost like being reborn , and he had to learn to walk again . 

when he left the hospital , his entire focus went to studying the word of the lord . his faith grew everyday , praying to god and having the hope that he was listening , praying for his return -- learning what true desire meant . 

his plans to fuck pursuing an education were replaced by the drive to get into a college and major in bible studies . he had the support from his denominational committee to become a reverend for the church he had been occasionally attending during his long term stay at his foster home to indulge his foster parents , but more recently visited several times a week to pray and attend sermons . 

the church was about to close its doors due to the pastor falling ill and unable to tend to it -- there weren't many believers who could fill up the spot , and the church did close for three years while ward studied and did all of the requirements , until a new pastor had it reopened at the nick of time for ward , who right after started working there as a reverend under the guidance of his new pastor . 

nowadays you can find him in the church , giving studies on the different teachings of the bible and occasionally given the opportunity to deliver sunday sermons . 

HIS BELIEFS //

i wanted to include a section for his beliefs since they are a massive part of his life !!

ward has faith that god did not forsake the angels , or humans , and that he will come back . he prays everyday for his return , having the faith that he is listening .

he tries not to question god for the things that have happened , but sometimes he gets a desperate feeling in his chest that has him crying out ' why ? ' . the angels .... rlly haunt him .  he prays a ton for them , but he also can't help but wonder why they fell ... why god left . why would he allow the angels to suffer as much as they have ? as much as they are suffering 

it ... really fucks him up so bad . he often has breakdowns about it . there are two opposite sides playing tug of war inside of him -- one of them is the one that's winning most of the time , the one that doesn't dare question god , and the other side is one who only has small victories but tugs with the force of tidal waves that literally leave him shaking -- the secret side that contemplates whether god is good . 

it burns him a li ve haha a 

although that secret side of him exists , it's something he also prays about . he doesn't want to question god , or have his faith waver , but goddamn ... it's tough when he sees all of the shit the angels are put through ... it really hurts his heart so much . 

that being said , he is not hostile at all toward angels . or thinks he is above them in any way form or shape . he actually worships angels , and hopes for their safety above all else . that is why he is a part of the resistance and would not hesitate to help an angel , in whatever form . he believes they are god's perfect creations that have been tainted by human sins . 

regarding other aspects of his life, though: ward repents for allowing god into his life only until he needed it and not when he was at his doorstep . he repents for all of the sins he's committed in the past and for the sins he continues to commit . he no longer drinks , smokes , or parties . he also doesn't get tattoos anymore unless they're connected to god or religion , and even then , he has only gotten a small tattoos of crosses on his chest and another cross on his right hand . 

HIS PERSONALITY/SMALL FACTS ///

although ward is welcoming of other people and relationships , especially in a church setting ... he can also be hesitant . he will give advice and try to guide anyone who seeks his help with the word of god , and he will listen to people's troubles and be with them in times of need ... but he doesn't do this himself . he keeps it all pent inside and really only speaks to god about what's going on inside of him . 

he has a very long past of abandonment and trust issues that it's almost like an instinct to close himself away but he's trying to heal those parts of himself . just needs some time and all the faith he can have !

with that being said , if you meet him outside of the church , he can come off as very withdrawn , especially in a mundane setting . he tends to be soft spoken and serious , though he's also got some wild in him that loves to laugh and have a good time . you just kinda have to figure out how to get to it . 

it's not really easy getting to know him . he's very private about his personal life and it's very rare when he opens up about something personal , unless he's talking to his pastor .

he doesn't really talk about his experience with cancer either . it was a really tough time in his life that he hasn't healed from and part of him probably never will . the only times when he openly talks about it is when he's retelling his experience of how he let god into his life .

also ! he uses a wooden cane . at first he needed it during his recovery , because it made standing up so much easier and he didn't have to lean on people or tables or chairs . then, he decided to keep the cane with him at all times after one occasion in which he supported himself on a glass table as he stood up and the glass broke and fell on his foot ........ but thank god it fell on his prosthetic foot because that would've hurt like a bitch .

so now his cane is like .... an extension of himself . kind of like how people can't leave their house without their phones , except more important to him . 

he also never mentions it unless someone asks why he uses it . he'll just say he has some leg problems , and if they continue to ask , he'll wonder why they're being nosy and reluctantly say he's got a prosthetic leg . talking to people about it or easily saying he has a prosthetic leg just doesn't come to him . 

going into a new topic, ward doesn't really have a sexual preference , and he doesn't have many sexual tendencies . or romantic ones . he's very unconcerned about a love life in general right now . the closest he gets to experiencing romantic love is when he's performing a wedding ceremony . he has dated in the past though , especially during his teenage years , but he hasn't been in a relationship for a few years now . 

he doesn't tend to go by dacey . there's no real reason why ... he was just called ward as a child by teachers and some foster parents so it stuck around . he introduces himself as ward but doesn't really mind being called dacey ... just throws him off a bit at first , he's not used to it . 

so ! i think i'm gonna leave it off there !! this entire post was pure word vomit fhiusdhf but if you have any plots/connections in mind don't hesitate to hmu , i'll be very excited about them . i'm sorry for the massive mess this was fhdsui but i'm rlly excited to get rolling !! see u on the dash/ims my friens

[68ejgppd-blog]

What is a Certificate of Insurance Rider?

What is a Certificate of Insurance Rider?

I do part-time work at street fairs and festivals, and one of the festival managers said that I needed to get insurance for the event. He said all I had to do is call my insurance agent (I own a co-op home, and I have homeowner s insurance) and ask for a Certificate of Insurance that would list the village of [insert name of town here] on a rider for the particular dates of the festival. He said it was free, and that this was a common practice. He said if I have future events happening in other towns, I can do the same thing. Can you explain to me what this is? I ve never heard of it before. Thanks...

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurance4me.xyz

SOURCES:

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[hinanaha]

*slaps walls* 1-49 🐰👌

honestly not mad i lov answering questions

Femme or butch? femme

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe. it okay so if yasha from critical role had ashley johnstons personality

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets? leather jackets

Describe your style. dresses, long skirts, over sized sweaters, hair band and sneakers w patterned socks

Describe your aesthetic. nature and green witch stuff + anime figures in bad lighting

Favorite article of clothing? i recently got this really cute dress thats navy blue w flowers 

Favorite pair of shoes? my grey converse, they go everywhere w me

Current haircut? short hair up to my ears, im growing it out

Any haircut goals for the future? i still want short hair but just above shoulder length

Describe the best date you’ve been on. i`ve only been on one date but it was rlly short so it was a bit underwhelming tbh

Describe the worst date you’ve been on. it wasnt the worst tho it was nice

Single? Taken? single lmao

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife? someone who is good at talking, likes to do things together, someone who will let their gaurd down around me, and goes out of their way to do things for me i guess

Describe your dream wedding. I don`t rlly care about marriage, but if i were to get married somewhere with a beautiful scenery would be rlly nice

Do you want kids? not at the moment, and probably never but things vchange, but i hate kids rn so no for now

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? whereever i can have an oxen farm and shower my oxen w the love they deserve

Favorite lesbian movie? ive barely watched any lgbt movies or movies in general

Favorite lesbian novel/story? the only one i can think of is “my lesbian experience with loneliness”, its really relatable and i read it infront of my asshole dad

Favorite lesbian song? dunno

Favorite lesbian musician? i dont know peoples names

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any? i guess my fashion style is stereotypical femme and some bits of my personality

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal? nope, everyone at school thought i was a lesbian before even i realised

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that? talk to me often for one, give me cuddles and show that they trust me

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian? having a deep relationship w another girl is the best part tbh, i havent had a lot of male relationships (just in general) so im not interested in having any because women are beautiful and y`kno thats that

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person? cat person meow

Turn ons? muscles :3 soft lips, someone running their hands through my hair, cuddles

Turn offs? idrk tbh i never think about that, maybe i should

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you? i have asked people out most of the time, but the type of person i like would ask me out first tbh

What is your dream career? dietician

Talk about your interests or hobbies! i love drawing both traditionally and digitally, i love gardening cause its so satisfying to grow ur own stuff, knitting is also nice and calming, i also cook everyday and if i have a crush on someone i will bake them treats, and i like games of all sorts tho im best at rhythm games

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have? sincerity maybe

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone? i love easily however after a while if the person isn`t what i thought in the beggining i get over them

Ever fallen for your best-friend? heh yeah

Ever fallen for a straight girl? idk, i kinda like someone atm but idk if she`s straight or not, i have a feeling she aint completely straight but ya

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?) i guess so

Favorite comfort food? oatmeal

Coffee or tea? coffee but tea good

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above? vegetarian

Do you have any pets? yes i have about10

Early-riser or night-owl? depends on the day

What is your sign? taurus

What is your Myers-Briggs type? INFP/INTP

Who was your first lesbian crush? my best friend in year 8 lmao

At what age did you know you were a lesbian? ive been confused abt sexuality and many thing in life for a while and only really sorted things out this year when i started taking my medications, i used to like guys but that was because when i was trans i wanted to be masculine so i kinda pushed my love for girls aside, but once i felt that being trans wasnt me and started just doing what i wanted w my identity i realised thatn yeah i like girls, the thought of dating a guy just doesnt feel right to me at all

At what age did you come out (if you have)? im just a very open person so coming out was never much a big deal for me, however if i was in a less accepting household it`d be a different story

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)? kinda

Talk about how your day went. its still going but i did an all nighter cause there was a scary big spider in my bathroom last night, but i played a game of cah because im scarily funny when im sleep deprived

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future. i dont have many dreams atm however i want to be someone who i can be proud of as to show the old me that desperately wanted to end my life that i can succeed in things i guess, but atm my dream is to get the best possible study score for year 12 i can get

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE02, Ep22

I was pleasantly surprised that this was one of the best balanced eps concerning tohru as of yet!! They touched upon her being mom-figure in the first half but proceeded to humanize her afterward, depicting her as normal girl!, frustrated, vulnerable & somewhat silently struggling. I was right in my prediction that the moment yuki lets go of mom-tohru image, the show will too!! I’m happy!! finally, No more angels in the sky. But only real tohru with flaws, ugliness & humanity.

-Yuki’s acceptance of past feelings & change towards new ones:

The show is aware that they’ve been using the fake love-triangle initially but it actually has an explanation within the story. Yuki is attracted to tohru, so much, but it isn’t romantic at all. his attempts in “correcting” how he perceived her didn’t set right with him & he felt weirded out more! The show brilliantly depicted these “flirty scenes” with a hint of uneasiness. Yuki’s lines/ moves felt cringey & artificial “do you like my act, princess”,”I’ll kidnap you”, being encouraged by Aya to compliment tohru as a boy should. The signs are all there except not in your face, & the writer deserves praise!! Yuki, being perceptive, was able to reach such conclusion, not only by looking into himself, but by also at looking how kyo interacted with her, differently from him. Kyo sees tohru as a woman & is attracted to her romantically & altho kyo’s words & interactions with tohru lacks princely smoothness & have a hint of awkwardness, it was natural, genuine & spontaneous. Kyo didn’t put on an act or forced himself to flirt or deliberately chose words to impress tohru. Yuki was able to notice tohru only looked romantically towards kyo. Yuki used all his observations to reach another conclusion abt himself too!!! What he wants in a relationship is sth similar to kyo/tohru!! Mutual & equal relationship. He won’t be satisfied by one-sidedly giving or taking.

-The Author’s brilliance in writing traumatic-based behavior ( Kyo/yuki’s best interaction!! ) :

-an anon cryptically warned me that I’ll be disappointed in kyo this ep cuz of a certain scene with yuki. After watching it, I can tell you without a doubt I’m not disappointed at all!! Rather I’m beyond satisfied that I’ve decided to trust the author. Ms. Takya is genius in depicting traumatic-based behavior! Any other writer, would write the scene less raw, yuki would still shine defeating his inner demos, but kyo would only grunt, or say sth mild. cuz the writer might fear that it might risk showing kyo as the stupid guy behind in his growth compared to the successful yuki ,or annoy the readers/viewers who are so eager for these boys to reach mutual ground. Only a great writer will be brave enough to write kyo as his trauma/ faulty copying mechanism logically dictates!

-We spent an entire season with yuki, saw him yell at kakeru’s insensitive hurtful remarks, cry knowing he was saved cuz a friend risked freeing him, it took a locked dark room, paint fumes, PTSD, tons of monologues before yuki finally let it all out! & you want such brilliant writer to make kyo turn around & be nice to yuki all of a sudden after episodes of fights & no perspective insight? You bet such amazing writer will give kyo’s perspective its time & his development the logical progress he needs. This writer is all abt logical & realistic progression! whether positive or even negative, the characters will come across human, raw, realistic & real during & after their journey.

- Going through kyo/yuki’s dialogue, it will tell you that furuba is NOT abt friendship saving the day, or abt successful growth. It is abt the journey these traumatized children are undergoing now that they are nearly becoming young adults. Yuki’s journey was amazing not cuz he succeeded (as amazingly as this is) but cuz it made sense from his perspective, was realistic, logical, matched his coping mechanism & character traits & it took the needed time. Now for kyo, all his reactions should match his perspective, & make sense giving his coping mechanism. He wasn’t given time yet. so, he won’t grow much yet. “Making a fool of me?” kyo didn’t see yuki’s perspective abt the hat. he thinks yuki did it on purpose to taunt him.That HE saved tohru while kyo fails as always. “Praised by others, needed by them” Kyo like everybody in school, always thought yuki is a prince, loved, & admired. Kyo is not the audience, he didn’t see yuki’s struggle.”surpass me easily while I struggle” kyo may train for years with tears & blood, but the rat will beat him always cuz he is superiors. “an idiot that never gets anything, wants an idiotic impossible thing” “if only I gave birth to the rat, I’d ve been happier” kyo’s mom wished or the impossible. So did kyo. He wished that he’d prove to her that he can be the rat’s equal. She shouldn't have died becuz of him. An impossible wish.

-I personally think that kyo’s journey will take a different path from yuki’s. Unlike yuki, kyo’s been accused & proved to harm others somehow, intentionally or unintentionally. Some not even in this world anymore. So there are things in kyo’s journey that can’t be fixed. Nothing will bring his mom or kyoko back to life. He can’t apologize to them. There is NO forgiveness here as kyoko said!. Hence, the writer will brilliantly make kyo fall so hard & reach rock bottom so bad before he stands up again!! It matches his personality too!! He’s a person who struggles in expressing himself verbally, gets overwhelmed with emotions, stubborn, hard on himself & fiery in nature. Moreover, due to his trauma, he harbors very low self-esteem & due to his guilt, he is drenched in self-loath.

-The addiction of destructive coping mechanism ( Writing Brilliancy):

Kyo has one of the most destructive coping mechanism in the show. Similarly to what his father did by illogically dumping all the blame of the mom’s suicide on 4 year old child, which resulted in hurting kyo, kyo adopted his dad’s ways & dumped it all on yuki. Illogical. wrong. but it works!! it numbs this tingling sense of guilt, it puts the voice that goes “ you’re unforgivable” temporarily to sleep. All the hate is on someone else. not me. I’m not a monster. does it work all the time? NO. cuz NO drug does! All drugs has this temporary effect, that unless you break away from, will end up destroying you. “don’t you want it that way? you wouldn’t want to have anyone to hate?“  I’m still confused if this is kyoko or his mom. It has kyoko’s hair, the words are very harsh. Kyoko from kyo’s perspective shifts between extremely kind & cruelly harsh! but regardless, the truth has been spoken. Kyo’s eyes are opened. He can’t force blind himself anymore. he does NOT hate yuki. he “ acts like hating yuki is sth you needs to do”, as shigure said! hating yuki is his way to escape from his destructive self-loath. He hasn’t been hating or fighting yuki for a long while, he tries now, one more fight, one more dose of the drug, let the pain go away! Nope. Yuki is not participating, yuki is in the light now. You are drenched in the darkness, as unforgivable as you are. Monster eyes & all. Kyo breaks the window to break away from the memory. from this point on, it escalates to rock bottom as the drug is no longer working & hating himself with no escape is all he’s left with.

-Protecting leading to hurting:

yuki brings kyo attention that while he’s been hard on himself & resisting change, he is hurting tohru. Sth kyo chose confinement in oder to NOT do. Kyo being distant from class activities “life” is his choice. Tohru suffering is a consequence to that choice. Kyo, once again, overwhelmed by tohru’s desire to include him in their activities “ life”. Helplessly & painfully looking at her & acknowledging yuki’s words. Kyo in one of his most vulnerable moments, matched only by true form hug scene, is desperate for a hug. Not only cuz he loves her, but cuz he needs her, cuz he’s so tried of himself, cuz she’s so endearingly stupid waiting for him all by herself when she could’ve easily caught him home!! Ugh! tohru! T_T. Except this time, kyo is aware of his surroundings, it’s school, no place for transformation. As kyo decides to change his position from hug to head rest, he stares so intently in her eyes. Embracing her with his presence. For a moment there I felt weird. Like I was intruding on a personal moment between two ppl. XD. This moment was this excellently weird mix of tenderly romantic, bittersweet cuz they cant be together hug, & sexually tensed! one of the most successful kyoru moment that truly depicted emotions visually without needing much dialogue!

Side Notes:

kyo/yuki interaction was their most honest, filter-free & raw moment! each said what he really felt. yuki’s directly telling kyo to complain to him, which kyo did. yuki urging kyo to see that punishing himself hurts tohru.

I appreciate that Yuki won’t tell tohru now, cuz it will ruin their progress towards a better balanced relationship. Tohru’s lid hasn’t even been touched, so she would be cautious interacting with him. But once she opens her lid, her self-worth increase & her desire to focus on herself more is ignited!, she’ll listen to him without taking his burden as hers. just like kakeru did. Equal friends.

I wanted to talk deeper abt machi & yuki, but didn’t want it to be overshadowed by kyo’s analysis. Next time for sure!

I love how the writer included the most spontaneous flirting moment between kyo & tohru right after yuki explained that he saw her non-romantically. The writer wants the comparison to be clear cutting ties to any love-triangle misunderstanding that might linger from previous scenes. Moreover, it showed yuki fully & genuinely accepting kyoru!!

I’ll never be over tohru acting like normal teenager & chasing kyo, trying to catch the script!!!! These small moments while having not much effect on the grand plot, help depict tohru with her own feisty style of stubbornness beyond the one-sided kind image we always see.

This ep has well-written & visually appealing scenes. Visual imagery were well-implemented in kyo/yuki scene & kyo/tohru last scene.

Thank you anime for drawing tohru older, pretty & more mature in the final scene. She looked like a woman in love & silently in pain. My baby is growing!

Why is kyoko holding the hat in KYO’s flashback!!!! she’s wearing the same white dress from yuki’s memory?? What the heck is the hat’s story?!!!