#but srsly someone slap me and force me to write

[cl3fairyyy]

hide and seek || edward nashton / the riddler x fem reader (nsfw !) ⋆｡𖦹°‧★

summary || your sex life recently with edward has been non existent. with him being so focused on his plans for gotham, you have found your needs being neglected. you decide to take initiative and plan a fun game for edward while he's at work.

warnings || SMUT!! there is plot but this is pretty much straight up porn lol. reader and edward role-play a kidnapping scenario but everything is consensual!! slapping, restraints, degradation, light knife play, overstimulation, p in v, pussy eating, choking, hunting(?kind of?), (fake) threats of violence, mentions of stalking, the suit stays ON during sex, some weird purity/ corruption stuff in this idk i think a demon possessed me halfway through writing this. minors please do not interact!!

word count || 4k i did not mean for it to be this long oopsie!!

notes || i haven't written smut in a LONG time so i am so sorry if this is straight up garbage pls go easy on me. recently reread year one and im seriously going insane the hyperfixation is so back guys. i love writing edward so much especially when it comes to writing some nasty porn about him LOL. i srsly had no idea how to end this so its kinda bad sorry D:

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In recent months, you have found yourself growing increasingly frustrated. For the longest time, you haven’t had the faintest idea of what has been causing this, and that has caused it to manifest itself in various ways throughout your everyday life. You have found yourself much more easily annoyed by the most minor inconveniences, and have had repeated warnings at work to stop arguing with customers over the pettiest of matters. 

One afternoon in late November, whilst attempting to share in your boyfriend’s body heat on the sofa of your freezing living room, watching the news and listening to him ramble about finally ‘revealing the truth,’ it hits you. 

Edward hasn’t fucked you in months. 

Even before this change, you didn’t have the most active sex life- you were both too busy holding down your day jobs whilst simultaneously investigating the corruption poorly concealed beneath Gotham’s cobbled streets. Still, you’d find the time every other week or so to take care of each other. 

You love having sex with Edward; he’s so gentle with you, handling you like a precious gem that will shatter if dropped. He always makes sure your needs are met before he even thinks of himself, worshipping your body with an obsession akin to a deeply faithful Catholic’s love for Christ himself.  

But sometimes... it can get boring. Not as boring as not having sex at all, but boring enough that you often find yourself lying awake at night, longing for Edward to keep up his Riddler persona for just a little while longer after he arrives home from doing whatever he does to have the coppery scent of blood soaking into the walls of your small apartment. 

You know your frustration will only worsen the longer you go without having sex, so you decide to do a small experiment. 

You take the next few days off work, pretending to be sick, and Edward, usually ever attentive to your every need, your Edward, who begins panicking if you all but sniffle the wrong way, barely notices. With your theory proven that his work has been turning him into someone who is evidently not your sweet Edward, you begin doing everything you can for even an ounce of attention from him. You give him shoulder massages after he returns home from a long day at work, cook him his favourite meals, run baths for him, at some point it evolves into you all but throwing yourself at him, and you have to take a step back to reevaluate your approach. Being that desperate for sex is not a good look, especially when your boyfriend is completely oblivious to how horny you are.  

You decide you need to formulate a plan to force him to focus on you. 

It starts with the lingerie. You scour the shopping apps on your phone for an embarrassingly long time, trying to find something perfect. You eventually come across a pretty lilac set, its sheer mesh bra framed with soft ruffles and feminine frills to accentuate your chest, and immediately order it, even begrudgingly spending a little extra for next day delivery. 

The next step of your plan is to come up with a simple puzzle, something stimulating but still to the point- you're so horny that you know the next time you’re in a room with Edward while he still has that Riddler costume on, it’s going to take some real self-restraint to stop yourself from ripping it off him.  

The final step of your plan is waiting for the perfect moment to put everything into action. You realise it isn’t the most complicated or glamorous scheme to ever exist, but if it manages to work and allows you to finally get some action, you won’t be complaining.  

One evening, when it’s well past 5pm, and definitely well past the time Edward should have been home from the office, you get a text from your beloved. 

hi honey, moved tuesday’s plans forward to today. got an opening with savage and cant miss it. will be home late- ill pick up food on my way back. love you. 

we’re finally making some REAL change : ) 

You almost leap out of your chair with excitement, rushing around the apartment to make sure everything is in place for your little game of hide and seek. 

When Edward finally returns home, the apartment is dark- it’s well past 11pm, so he figures you’re in bed. He sighs, setting down the takeaway bag on the coffee table and calling out your name, pausing when you don’t answer. You always wait up for him when he’s running his late-night ‘errands.’ When he thinks about it more, he realises you didn’t even text him back earlier this evening; you’ve been sick, too- what if you collapsed, or had complications, or worse?  

Before he can begin panicking, he finally notices the lit candle on the kitchen counter. Next to it is a piece of paper, which Edward gingerly picks up with shaking hands, reading the five words scrawled across it. 

‘Dear Riddler, 

Come find me.’ 

Confusion clouds Edward’s mind for a moment before he realises that he’s reading your handwriting, and the sweet flowery scent giving him a headache is his favourite perfume of yours. He stands still for a moment, rereading the note as the familiar feeling of want begins to curl in his lower belly. You’ve never actually addressed him as the Riddler before. 

He definitely likes it. 

You crouch uncomfortably in your hiding space beneath the dining table, straining your ears against the silence of the apartment as you try to gauge how Edward has taken your little game based off his breathing. You hear the rustling of fabric and the sound of something zipping up, and realise he must’ve slipped his jacket and mask back on because his breaths are definitely muffled now.  

He begins taking slow, deliberate steps around the apartment, his combat boots loudly thudding on the wooden floorboards as he does so. You suddenly feel very vulnerable in only your undergarments and wonder if this is how his victims must feel, a thrill tingling deliciously up your spine. 

You shift a little in your spot, trying to find a way to crouch comfortably while also remaining out of sight. Your heart pounds so hard in anticipation of being spotted that you’re sure Edward can hear it, especially when his footsteps begin to head towards your hiding spot.  

You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to keep the sound of your breathing to an absolute minimum; the silence in your apartment is deafening and, for the first time in all the years you have known him, you begin to feel almost weary of Edward’s presence. In this moment, you’re not just Edward’s partner. 

You’re his prey. 

So wrapped up in your own mind, you don’t hear Edward’s footsteps behind you. You feel two strong, gloved hands grab your hips and rip you out of your thoughts. You squeal giddily as Edward throws you onto the wooden dining table, biting your lip to stifle the giggles that threaten to spill out. 

Edward looms over you, his glasses glinting in the moonlight that seeps into the apartment through the cracks in the blinds. He is completely silent, save for the heavy breaths muffled by his mask. When he finally speaks, his voice is low and raspy, and the sound of it sends tiny shivers of excitement up your arms. 

“I’ve been watching you for so long. Every move you make, I’ve followed from the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to snatch you up. Do you know how hard it’s been? Hearing your pathetic whimpers while you fuck yourself every night, and having to wait until it’s me making you unravel? But now I have you here, all to myself, and no one is around to save you.” 

The sight of him like this, so indescribably large compared to you, looking down on you like a lion that has captured its prey and is about to rip it to shreds- it sends sparks of arousal through you that pool in your sheer underwear. You look up at Edward through your eyelashes, smiling innocently. 

“Looks like you caught me.” 

With that, he drags you up, throwing you over his shoulder as he heads towards your bedroom. Your face burns, unsure of when or how he got so strong, and the anticipation of what he is about to do to you sends tingles of delight down your spine. 

Edward throws you carelessly onto the bed before straddling you. He wordlessly grasps your wrists in one gloved hand, holding them above your head while he rips off a piece of duct tape from the roll that dangles from his belt, and binds them together securely. He subtly tilts his head to the side, and you can read him so well at this point that you know he’s asking if your restraints are too tight. You shake your head, and he immediately melts back into character, sweeping his gaze down your exposed body predatorily.  

His gloved hands reach forward, roughly groping your breasts, pinching and rolling your clothed nipples between his fingers. You squeak, writhing beneath him, deciding to put on a bit of a show with it. 

“P... please, don’t...” you whimper pathetically, bucking your hips into his. You hear him groan under his breath above you, removing one hand from your chest to grip your chin harshly, squishing your cheeks together. “Shut up.” His voice is low and dangerous when he speaks, a complete contrast to the sweet voice Edward usually addresses you with. “You’re trapped here, and no one is coming for you. You can scream as loud as you want, it won’t make a difference.” 

“You’re so pitiful, dressed up like one of those whores on the street just to get my attention.” He breathes out slowly, slipping a gloved finger beneath your bra to massage your nipple. “I can’t say it hasn’t worked, but a whore is still a whore. You need to be cleansed, like the rest of the filth in this city, and the only person willing to do that is me. That’s why,” he pauses, the hand gripping your chin roughly yanking your mouth open as he leans over you, pulling up his mask slightly and spitting in your mouth, “you will take everything I give to you like a grateful little bitch.” 

He slaps your face, hard enough to sting but not enough to bruise, and you swallow the mixture of your saliva and his. You can’t stop the moan that slips out from between your parted lips, and he locks eyes with you, his pupils blown so wide with arousal that his eyes appear completely black in the low light. He leans forward again, pulling up his mask, and harshly kisses you, pushing his tongue into your mouth as his knee forces your legs apart. You whimper when you feel his erection brush against your thigh and he bites down on your bottom lip, hard. He moves his focus to your neck and collarbones, attacking the sensitive skin with kisses and bites, marking every inch of you that’s visible. 

“This is so,” he murmurs breathlessly between fervent kisses to your skin- and, Christ, is he smelling you?- “everyone knows you were fucked by the Riddler. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? For everyone to know that you’re such a whore that getting fucked by a serial killer gets that pathetic cunt of yours completely soaked.” You moan at his words, arching your back to press your chest against his as you grind against his knee. 

“Such a needy little thing. One touch from me and you’re already at my complete disposal.” He leans back on his heels to look over you, your hair a complete mess, your lips swollen and as red as the flush on your skin. The strap of your bra has slipped down your shoulder and Edward’s breaths become haggard as he reaches for the knife on his belt; he cuts away the fabric hiding your breasts from him, much to your dismay (that lingerie set was pretty fucking expensive), and immediately takes one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud before biting down lightly. You moan louder, squirming against your restraints and trying to pull away from him. 

He slaps you again, harder this time, running the flat side of his knife against the mark that begins blooming on your cheek. “If you don’t shut up and take it like a good girl, I'll have to hurt you.” He presses a chaste kiss to your parted lips. “I wouldn’t want to ruin a face as pretty as yours.” 

You whimper, rubbing your clothed core against Edward’s thigh, feeling the arousal in your lower belly build from the stimulation. Edward certainly doesn’t miss this, his eyes widening slightly as he peels your underwear away from your pussy. A string of your own slick connects you to the mesh fabric, and you can hear the amusement in Edward’s voice when he says, “oh, I’m going to ruin you.” 

He cuts your underwear away, dragging his knife down your body painfully slowly. You shiver from the cool metal, whining from frustration when Edward’s gloved fingers spread your glistening folds, pointedly ignoring your throbbing clit. 

“You pathetic girl... so wet for me. No one else could get you to react like this from their words alone, could they?” You shake your head rapidly, wiggling your hips in an attempt to get closer to Edward’s fingers. “Say it, then.” He begins lazily rubbing circles into your clit, causing you to cry out with relief at him finally touching you. He runs the blunt end of his knife across your neck, twisting it in his hand so the tip presses into your skin, not quite breaching your flesh. “Nice and clear for me. Tell me that you’re my bitch.” 

You moan when he begins speeding up his movements on your clit, stumbling over your words. “I.. I’m your- your b-” He cuts you off with another slap to your cheek, and the action sends a sharp jolt of pleasure right to your clit, causing you to choke out a moan. “Not quite, pretty girl. Try again. Whose bitch are you?” Your eyes narrow with confusion for a second before you realise what he wants you to say. 

“I’m th- the Riddler’s bitch.” 

He nods, satisfied, pushing two gloved fingers inside of you while the other continues rubbing your clit. You can feel your orgasm approaching embarrassingly fast, whimpering and giving Edward a pleading look. 

He nods wordlessly and you unravel, your orgasm enveloping your body in a blissful warmth as your pussy clenches hard around Edward’s fingers. He breathes out through his nose, hard, as he watches you cum, his cock throbbing at the feeling of your pussy spasming around his fingers.  

Edward pulls his fingers out of you when your body finally finishes shaking, inspecting your wetness on them in the low light of your bedroom for several moments, before pushing them under his mask and sucking them clean. He moans at the taste of you, and you feel his dick twitching against your leg as he closes his eyes, savouring you. He sighs, opening his eyes. 

“I need more.” 

Before you can react, he’s gripping your waist with strong hands, dragging your body up against him, holding you up almost completely off the bed, and hooking your legs over his shoulders. Edward gazes at your drenched cunt with a hunger in your eyes that you've never seen displayed by him, his breaths deep and shaky as he smells the arousal leaking out of you. You squeak, thighs still quivering from your previous orgasm. 

“W-wait, Ed- Riddler, I... I’m still t-too sensitive for...” You cut yourself out with a cry of pained pleasure as he latches his mouth onto your pussy, pushing his tongue into your sensitive hole. You sob as he sucks on your clit, shocks of overstimulation wracking through you as you weakly kick your legs against him, your body growing limp. The sounds Edward makes as he devours your pussy are obscene, the room filling with echoes of your cries and Edward’s moans as he sucks and licks crudely at your sex. 

He pulls away occasionally, praising and degrading you in barely coherent pussydrunk babbles: “such a perfect girl for me,” “stupid bitch, such a needy whore for your savior,” “so pretty with mascara running down your face,” “any louder and I'll give you a real reason to cry,” “taste so good, i need all of you.” And it’s all so much, his tongue writhing so deep inside you, the grip of his hands on your ass, the cool leather biting into your flesh, the way he moans and ruts into the bed from the taste of you, and before you can even breathe you’re cumming again, and you’re cumming so hard your back lifts off the bed entirely, the strength of your orgasm rocking you all the way to your core. Your mind goes blank as a chain of choked moans and sobs spill from between your lips, all you can focus on being the way Edward continues to fuck you with his tongue all the way through your orgasm. You can feel your slick sliding down your thighs, and when Edward pulls away you can see it dripping down his chin, and you don’t miss the proud grin on his face as he pulls down his mask. 

He drops you back onto the bed, straddling you once more and wiping your slick from his chin with his finger, motioning for you to open your mouth. You obey him and he pushes the digit inside, motioning for you to suck it clean. When he pulls his finger from your mouth, his eyes darken, and you can practically feel the smug smile in his words. “Such a good little girl for me, aren’t you? No one can make you cum like I can... and I can still smell how horny you are for me. You’re so needy, yet you’re never satisfied.” 

He tilts his head, and the dim light from the lamp behind him illuminates him similarly to a halo, and you almost find yourself beginning to create a religion in your head just to worship him. 

“I don’t think you’re being very grateful.” 

You begin crying out words of thanks, rubbing your legs together to lessen the ache of overstimulation. Edward's knees cage you in, and he grips one of your thighs with his hands. 

“Quit your grovelling and stop fucking moving when I’m talking to you.” His hand travels to your face, cupping your cheek with a surprising tenderness as he sighs. “You’re still so filthy... look what this city has done to you. I suppose I’m your last hope.” 

He unbuckles his belt and unzips his trousers, finally freeing his cock from its confines. The tip is an angry red and leaks with precum, and Edward lets out a breathy moan as he strokes it. He spreads your legs, lining himself up with your sex and pushing into you slowly. He gazes down at you, a complete mess beneath him, and groans. “You’re so lucky... being fucked by Gotham’s salvation...” 

You can barely think, let alone speak, and when Edward begins moving his hips, his thumb finding your clit and massaging it, you sob, tears streaming down your cheeks. He moves in and out of your agonisingly slowly, and when you look up at him, you can make out that his eyes are closed as he savours the feeling of you. 

“Your virgin pussy is so... so fucking tight. Oh... h-how does it feel to be fucked by your saviour? Your God?” 

You sniffle beneath him, choking on your sobs as he speeds up to a punishing pace, his cock bruising your insides. He grabs at every inch of you, his hands finding refuge around your throat. 

“Oh, you’re so good. You were so filthy, but I will cleanse you. I will purify you; I will plant the seed of hope within you, and you will be saved.” 

He babbles on as he fucks you, squeezing his fingers around your throat, verging on crushing your windpipe but never quite gripping hard enough. You cry out for him, so cockdrunk and lightheaded from your sudden lack of oxygen that you find yourself looping your bound wrists around his neck, pulling him forward and crashing your lips to the rough leather of his mask. He makes a noise of surprise before his fingers once again find your clit, rubbing at it desperately as his hips begin to stutter against your own. 

Edward, ever the gentlemen, wants you to cum before him; you feel your cheeks grow warm at the thought, and pull away to look at him. You can barely keep your focus on him, your vision going hazy, and he begins assaulting your clit with more fervor. 

“Be a good little angel and cum for your savior.” 

Your vision goes white as the orgasm rips through you, your entire body spasming as your pussy clenches down hard on Edward’s cock. He has to stop moving to prevent himself from cumming as he guides you through your own orgasm, his fingers weaving through your hair as he coos at you. 

“Yes, that’s it. Such a perfect girl. So pretty cumming on my cock.” 

He begins speeding up again, his hips slapping against yours with a clumsy rhythm, his breathy moans growing louder and more desperate with each thrust. You lay, exhausted, whimpering incoherent words of encouragement to him as he chases after his own climax. 

You feel him begin to pull out and you weakly wrap your legs around his hips. “W-want you inside. Need... need you to cleanse me from the inside.” 

Your words are what tip Edward over the edge, and he whimpers loudly as his cum spills inside you, his hips grinding into yours as he relishes in the aftershocks of his orgasm. 

Thank God you're on birth control.

Edward slowly pulls out of you and cuts the duct tape that binds you, gently pressing kisses to the insides of your wrists. He pulls off his fogged up glasses and his mask, placing a gentle kiss to your lips as he smiles at you worriedly. 

“I didn’t go too far, did I?” 

There's your lovely Eddie.

You shake your head, laughing weakly and he smiles, pushing his glasses back up his nose as he helps you to your feet and guides you to the bathroom, letting you use his body for support. Edward sits you on the lip of the bath and dampens a towel, gentle cleaning you up and placing loving kisses to every bare patch of skin he can reach. He reluctantly leaves you alone to freshen up as he straightens up the bed, changing into his pajamas and finding your favourite t shirt of his to sleep in. 

When you re-enter the bedroom, with a slight limp that Edward definitely notices but refuses to comment on, he dresses you and tucks you into bed before lying next to you, brushing your hair out of your eyes. 

“Sorry I’ve been so... distant lately.” 

When you go to answer him, he rubs his thumb soothingly on your cheek and you get the message that he hasn’t finished talking. 

“We have big things planned, we both know that, but... it wasn’t right of me to not look after you when, now that I look back at it, you really made it obvious that you needed me to. I hope you can forgive me.” 

You smile, pressing a shy kiss to Edward’s lips. 

“Don’t apologise, Eddie. There’s nothing to be sorry for. You can apologise tomorrow when I can’t feel my legs or sit down properly for a week.” 

He laughs and buries his face in your neck, inhaling your scent.  

“I really love you, you silly girl. A-and..."

He pulls away from you but continues to avert his gaze, his cheeks pink and a lopsided grin tugging at his lips.

"The, um, th-the lingerie was very pretty, you looked really lovely. I'm, ah, sorry about..."

He doesn't meet your eyes and you snort, bringing a hand to rest on his cheek with a fond smile.

"Yeah. That I'm not so quick to forgive. You have no idea how expensive nice underwear is when you're a woman."

Edward laughs shyly, delicately holding your wrist and pressing tender kisses to your palm that leave you melting. The heat in his eyes, however, is undeniable.

"I absolutely will not complain if you decide to spend all my money on pretty lingerie and then decide to model said lingerie for me."

"You're unbelievable."

You both laugh as Edward continues peppering soft kisses up your arm, then your bruising neck before finally meeting your lips in a tender kiss. He pulls away, and the way he looks at you with such love and adoration almost makes you tear up.

Edward twirls a strand of hair around his finger, pulling you closer to his chest. His fingers reach up and he begins combing them through your hair properly, whispering sweet praise to you as you find yourself dozing off.

[fashionkingcarney]

ravenous, ravenous

one | two

When he looks up and spots her, standing paces away, his whole face lights up. “Eurydice,” he says, breathy and hopeful, and damn him for how her name sounds in his voice.

Home, he'd promised her.

“Eurydice,” he says gently, prying her hands off his shoulders and clutching her fingers. “Do you want this with me?” 

chapter two - read here on AO3

The lock on Orpheus’s door is rusted over. He fumbles through his pockets with one hand, dropping crumpled scraps of notepad paper on the dusty floor, apologizing with every breath. Still, he holds her hand tight, as if she might make a break for it if he lets go. Even as he struggles, reaching crosswise to his left pocket, he refuses to release her.

“Hold on a second,” she tells him, swallowing the ridiculous giggle that bubbles up in her gut.  

With her free hand, she reaches into his pocket, digging through the copious amounts of crumpled newsprint, until she finds something cold and metallic, with teeth on the end. It’s a skeleton key tied to a length of torn red cloth, frayed along the edges.

“You can open it,” he offers, “If you’d like.”

A door for her to open; Eurydice can’t remember the last time she’d had one of those. She fumbles with the key, using the end to push aside the flap. She jams it in the wrong way on her first try, the metal creaking angrily in protest. She turns it to try again, the end of the key scratching hideously against the surface of the lock. It takes try after try, of turning the key clockwise and then counter-clockwise, and then back again. Orpheus is entirely unhelpful, holding her left hand sandwiched between both of his, when she pulls her right out of his grip.

Finally, a wiggle and a twist to the right and the pins click. The doorknob turns and the hinges on the door groan as the door swings open. He beams down at her, eyes alight.

Eurydice swallows another ridiculous giggle.

Orpheus’s apartment, a second floor walk up on top of the liquor store, is little more than four walls and a roof. The door opens to empty space, a kitchen and what must be a dining area with a makeshift table; a piece of plywood over a rusted metal frame, and a single stool. There’s a trio of chairs lined up one side, each with a bent leg or a slanted wooden seat or a contorted backrest. Scavenged furnishings and do-it-yourself projects; she isn’t surprised. She’d expected as much, when he’d offered her that paper flower.

And still; it’s four walls more than she’d had, wandering the streets.

“Well?” she slips off her coat and hugs it to her chest, setting her bag down at her feet. “What can I do?”

“I can take your coat,” he offers, taking it from her and draping it over a hook on the barren tree in the foyer. “Do you want some tea? Lady Persephone left me some from her hibiscus garden, before she left for the winter.”

“Orpheus.” Six steps and she’s crossed the room to where he is. She curls her hands around the leather straps of his suspenders and yanks him close. Until he’s standing flush against her, so close she can feel the thrum of his heart. “You wanted me to come home with you.”

He swallows. “Yes. Yes I did.”

“Well then, lover,” she purrs, “What do you want me to do?”

“I…I don’t know,” he stutters.

“What about this?” she leans up on tiptoes and presses her mouth to his jaw.

His breath hitches. “Is this what you want to do?”

“That’s not important,” she takes him by the hand, leads him to the rightmost chair. It creaks when he sits, the legs teetering like a seesaw when she gently pushes him down with her hands on his shoulders, standing between his legs. “You brought me home. Tell me what you like.”

“Eurydice,” he chokes out. “I didn’t ask you to come home with me because I wanted this.”

Her grip on his shoulders tighten. “Well why did you, then?”

He looks down at his hands. “To talk to you, I guess. I just feel like I need to know you.”

Need; she could scoff. How fanciful a life did he lead if he had the luxury of using need in the context of this? A musician with his head in the clouds, by the state of his apartment, she should’ve guessed his grasp of the reality of this broken world to be less than practical.

“You want to know me,” she corrects. “Need is something else, lover. Let me show you.”

“Eurydice,” he says gently, prying her hands off his shoulders and clutching her fingers. “Do you want this with me?”

“You’re giving me a choice?” She chokes on a laugh. “There is none. Not for a thing like me.”

“What do you want from me, then? What did you want with me?” he swallows. “You came back, you said you wanted to come home with me. Why?”

That she’d been cold and hungry, and he’d seemed decent enough that she might offer herself to him to solve one of those problems—she can’t explain that to him. He, who doesn’t understand the difference between need and want, or perhaps just places want before need. The wants of his mind over the needs of his body. She’d resigned herself to bartering her flesh. Her body for a place to sleep, it’d seemed reasonable. But it’s her he wants and not the physical of what she’s willing to trade. She’s not for sale. She’d come to him as her last resort, but she’d sooner freeze than barter her soul.

Eurydice can’t stay.

She picks up her bag, heaving it up over her shoulder, wincing as the strap bears down on that line of muscle in her back that’s ready to give out. “This was a mistake. I should go. I’m going to go.”

“I’m sorry,” he says in a rush, “If it’s something I’ve said or done, please, I’m sorry. You don’t have to go.”

“Look, I’m offering you sex and only that,” she squints at him. “But that’s not what you want, is it?”

He runs his fingers up his hair, mussing it even more. “Where will you go?”

What he doesn’t say: he doesn’t want sex, if it’s something she’s offering for trade.

She could laugh at his privilege.

“I’ll figure something out.” She picks her coat off the hook he’d draped it on. “Goodbye, Orpheus.”

The door closes gently behind her. She’ll find a way. She’ll have to.

  The doors to the train station close at eight in the evening, but there’s no lock on the door. Just a deadbolt on the outside that slips open with a tug at the latch. The lights are turned off, and the heating system’s creaky old pipes that had whined all day are silent. Eurydice exhales in a huff of frost. The place hadn’t been inviting in the light of day, but in the dark of night, it’s downright haunted.

There are slabs of wood on concrete blocks serving as benches, placed intermittently along the station’s walls. Glass panes form the exterior walls, and the black sealant is broken in places. Day had brought a touch of warmth, the furnace heating the space, but the nights are colder and with the heating powered down, the chill creeps through the cracks.

Eurydice picks the bench farthest from the windows and sets her bag down. Months ago, she’d had bedding, a roll of blankets with a pillow sandwiched in the hollow. No bed of feathers, but something to lie on, something to cover her legs. That’s gone now, lost on a train somewhere in the Midwest. All that remains are the clothes off her back. The wool on her coat unravels in tufts, the silk slip she’d repurposed into a dress offers no warmth. Her stockings have runs, where they’d caught on hooks and nails, gauging the skin underneath. She’d bled and then healed, the torn flesh scabbing and then scarring, but the wounds to the delicate nylon weren’t so easily healed.

Her coat is her blanket, her bag, a pillow. She clutches it to her stomach, curling her legs up and around all her worldly possessions. Eurydice yawns, wincing as the movement sends a fresh wave of pain through her stomach; she’d journeyed so far and so long, and all for this. A bench in a train station and a worthless three quarters to her name. She’d slept sitting up on dirty hay, dozed off while standing, holding onto a railing inside a train car. There’d been a rhyme and a reason to that struggle then, she’d given up her feather bed for—honour. There’s no honour to being homeless in the winter; pride will neither feed her, nor provide her shelter.

Fatigue pulls her under now, she drifts, her eyes heavy.

But the wind picks up, the building rattles. Something tugs at her bag and she jerks awake, clutching the coarse canvas satchel so tightly her knuckles turn white. The door to the place had opened easily for her, it would be just as easy for someone else to come in take all she has. A meagre nothing, but her nothing all the same.

And though the day—the days—had been interminably long, her eyes stay glued to the horizon as the morning light bleeds through the night.

She can’t do this again.

[0ooruioo0]

↣Shinra, Beni

Fandom: Fire Force

Pairing: Shinra/Reader, Benimaru/reader

Content/s: Headcannon, I don’t know if I got s/o’s personality correct forgive me

Request: Shinra and Beni dating a female s/o who's carefree and shameless? Thank you in advance

                                               Benimaru Shinmon

•　This man's fucking proud for your shameless behavior

•　He finds it cute how carefree you are from this awful world

•　Likes to watch you enjoy and be free

•　When you want to say smth rude he won't stop you

•　Especially when they did deserve it

•　He'd be supportive and tells you to continue

•　"Don't worry, break their ego more!"

•　Sometimes he thinks you two are alike ya know. When you guys are in those stupid meetings.

•　"Jesus he looks like a fcking donkey"

•　"I know right, go tell him that"

•　I bet he's that person who'd ditch you when your caught doing shit

•　"I don't know them"

•　"What- Beni?!"

•　He would join you somewhere on a high building, hearing you insult ppl

•　He thinks being truthful is good, he likes that about you

                                                Shinra Kusakabe

•　Everyone whose friends with Shinra or at least knows him sees him as a very respectful boi

•　When everyone found out he was dating the y/n, that woman who needed a leash around her neck. They were shocked...

•　'they were total opposites, tf?' they thought

•　Yeah well, they do say opposites attract

•　Whenever you were looking like you did something wrong. Shinra would quickly drag you away as fast as he can.

•　Especially someone like Benimaru or Hinazawa (that man took shit srsly)

•　Sometimes when he couldn't drag you. He would slap a hand on your mouth to shut you up before you get a scolding

•　But sometimes, he'd leave you alone to your remarks.

•　That person probably deserved it either way

•　Shinra's just gonna be in the side and pretend he's not listening

•　Silently rooting for you to go even further sometimes.

•　"Go ahead."

•　Steps to the side as the person cries for help and Shinra just stares at them.

 ───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Inbox Slightly Open?

  Fandoms I write

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz ep 400 - 404 lb

now, let’s see what fresh hell my idiot children have raised in the one week i left them unsupervised! 

ep 400 (30.10.17)

ok you know what, i reallllllly do not care about this lameass shivika plot. i didn’t care one week ago when i was watching in real time, and now one week later, i literally couldn’t give less of a fuck. ugh. already disgruntled at having to sit through this garbage. 

YOU FUCKERS SHOULD BE CONCENTRATING ON RIKARA, PAR NAHI, IDHAR BHI APNE AINVAYIII KE ISSUES. HONESTLY. THINK ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELVES FOR 4 MINUTES. AND IF YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOURSELVES, THINK PROPERLY LIKE NORMAL MARRIED COUPLES, AND GO BANG. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD. 

ugh ok i really don’t care about anika’s nonsense mental issues when there’s literally so many other problems. fwding this bs. 

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas, rikara!!!!!!!! 

i am honestly so emosh rn. 😭😭😭

yaaaaaaas baby girl! call him out on his bs! 

ok can’t help but feel a little bad for kunal’s kamar in this scene. is it just me or is he ladkhadaayiing a bit? 

UGH GTFO SHIVIKA I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU TWO RN UNLESS YOU’RE FUCKING. 

anika has legittttttttttttt lost her goddamned mind. honestly, what the fuck have they done to my girl???? 

IS THIS HONESTLY AN ISSUE???? LIKE???? I CAN’T EVEN WITH THESE TWO ASSHOLES RIGHT NOW. JUST GTFO MY SCREEN BEFORE I RAGE QUIT WATCHING THIS EP. 

lmao ok kunal ki saaas phul rahi hai, someone give the poor boy a sec to catch his breath. 

YAS GAURI ASKKKKKKKKKKKK HIMMMMMMMM 

pffffffft, don’t even talk about shivika’s ishqbaazi rn gauri, coz... i just can’t. 

“WOH DONO EK DUSRE KO NEECHA NAHI DIKHAATE KABHI.”

ok someone needs to sit gauri down and tell her all of bade bhaiyya ke puraane paap. 

and rudra’s just going snip-happy on ajay’s car like a toddler in crafts class. best. 

ok ruvya nonsense is what i care about least in this show so fwd fwd fwd. 

this trope of shit getting stuck in each other’s jewelry and what not is literally the worst. 

OK RUDRA NEEDS TO BE GIVEN ONE TIGHT SLAP. WHY THE FUCK IS BHAVYA EVEN PUTTING UP WITH THIS BS? SHE JUST NEEDS TO TELL SHIVAAY WHAT’S UP AND GTFO THE STUPID “BOND” CLAUSE. 

god i’m just so mad at heterosexuality rn. all these ppl just need to leave each other alone already, coz together, they just make each other and everyone else miserable as fuck. 

YAS GAURI. TEAR THAT DUPATTA. FREE YOURSELF FROM THE SHACKLES OF THE HEGEMONIC INSTITUTION THAT IS MATRIMONY IN THE DESI SOCIETYYYYYYYYYYYY

why am i being forced to watch this utter TRASH that is this shivika plot? it’s literally worse than the ruvya plot. #bloodyUNSAHIKKABLE (something for my southie peeps there.) 

never thought i’d relate SO MUCH with shivaay during an argument, but hey, here we are. matlab facepalm kar kar ke mera toh mooh hi laal ho gaya hai. 

ok what even is this editing? ffs, kuch toh transition effect daalo scenes ke beech mein. 

oh gauriiiiiiii, my baby girl, don’t cryyyyyyyyy. mera dillll jaltaaa haiiiiii. i can’t bear to see you like this. 😥😥😥😢😢😢

ok i can’t bear his crying either, but he deserves to cry a little, so dil pe patthar rakh ke seh loongi main. 

GOD SRSLY ANIKA YOU NEED TO GROW UP. 

great. usko bhi pakad ke taana and issue. shivaay just leave her be. let her go eat something and she’ll calm the fuck down in time and come find you. 🙄🙄🙄

i’m just fwding this garbage, because after EVERYTHING they went though, if she still doesn’t trust him, phir mujhe kuch nahi kehna. honestly, so done with this. 

ok just in case i didn’t hate men enough in this episode, ajay’s here to MAKE SURE ki koi kasar reh toh nahi gayi. 😒😒😒

okay fuckkkkk offf shitty ajayyyyyyy, with your crappy unibrow. 

OMFG HAATH LAGAAYA, SAALE KAMEENE HIMMAT KAISE HUIIIIII KAAAT KE GANDE NAALI MEIN NA PHENK DOON MAIN

ok this grownass man has been TOLD the issue to his face and he’s still like “idk why she’s mad at me?????” why are men like thisssss????? 

god why won’t this shitty ass episode enddddddddddddddd??? 400th episode my ass. 

waah, bhavya’s gonna solve the mysteries of the feminine mind for bhaiyya. 

lol this little golu molu baby sardar. what a cutie. 

this show really nails their casting of kids. highly surprising how all of them are non annoying. 

YOU KNOW HOW YOU CAN BRING BACK HER KHOYA HUA CONFIDENCE? BY SEXING HER. SO PLEASE. GET TO IT. MATLAB, TUM AADMI HO YA PAJAMA?!!?!

GOD FINALLLLLLLLLLY THIS DAMN EPISODE IS FUCKING OVER. HALLELUJAH. 

ep 401 (31.10.17)

aaaaaaaand golu molu is back. 

shivaay, don’t you have enough issues in your life???? ek aur issue ke beech mein taang adaa rahe ho???? go talk to your stupid wife.  

... is there a reason he got outta costume for this???? 

and god the ugly blue filter. hate. HAAAAAAAAATE. WHY DO THEY USE IT EVERY TIME THESE TWO HAVE A SCENE IN THIS LOCATION????? IT’S SO FUCKING UGLY. 

man do i haaaave to watch this???? he’s just gonna be all i promise ill love you when you’re old and blah blah blah physical looks don’t matter dil matters and blah blah. 

“i’m not trying, i AM cute.” 

pffffffffft. ek toh overconfidence ki hadh. you’re not even that cute. doosra, bebe!Anika is this close to taking off her chandni and beating all the cute outta you. 

my god i cannot be gladder than i am to be utterly single rn, coz jesus above, being in a relationship looks fucking exhausting. yahaan mujhse apne emotions aur issues jhele nahi jaate, and you have to be deal with someone elses’ neuroses too???? no thanks. 

i am baby!sardar and he is me. utterly sick of these ppl and screaming “meri jaan baksh do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

called shivaay’s nonsense speech almost down to the word. not feeling particularly proud about it tho, coz that just means the writing of this show is just thaaaaat thakela. 

OMG ANIKA WHICH OTHER WOMAN WOULD EVEN WANT THIS STUPID GODFORSAKEN DEMON OF A MAN?????????? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT????????? THAT LITERALLY NO OTHER WOMAN IN ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH CAN TOLERATE HIM????? 

ok i swear to god rudra needs to get hit by a bus or something. #freeBhavya

WHY WON’T THIS STUPID SCENE END OMG

fwding. don’t care. gimme gauri. NOW. NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW. 

OOOOH. WHY’S BULBUL COMING TO OMKI????? is she realising that she’d rather be married to repentant hottie shaayar rather than ugly unibrow handsy fucker???

ok. clue has been given that richa is the reason. use your goddamn brain now, omki. 

god his sexyyyyy agony whisper voice. it’s doing things to meeeeeeee. 😍😍😍

haaaaaye his face. be still my beating heart. 

of course. ajay is daksh 2.0, but not even half as entertaining. 

i miss daksh, man. after svetlana, he’s the most lolz delivering waala villain this show has ever had. 

OK WHAT EVEN IS THIS OUTFIT GAURI IS WEARING LORD ABOVE NA SAR HAI NA PAIR, JAANE KAISE TEEN CHAAR CHICHDE JOD DIYE HAI AUR USKO “OUTFIT” BULA RAHE HO

angsty sexyyyyyyyyyyyyy eyes are being maaaaaade. 😭😭😭

and ugly ajay is noticinggg and grinding his teeth all shivaay-style. 

ughhhhh ajay you’re the fucking worst. i really fucking hope the oberois go to town on you and repeatedly kick you in the nuts. 

ok shivaay’s outfit has actually made me go blind and i’m now watching this episode with my mann ki aankhein. 😣😣😣

shivaay still can’t understand the concept of consent and free will. honestly, i think this idiot needs to have the point beaten into him. 

aisi time par bhi isko shayari sooj rahi hai. emo!maxxxxx only my son is. 

“mujhse vaada karo hum aur kuch nahi karenge.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR OBEROI KIN AT ALL??????? SHAADI KHUD KI HO YA KISI AUR KI, TAMASHA TOH KARNA HI HAI! 

omfgggggggg anika, COZ PYAAAR (woh bhi aisa ek number ka ghatiyaaaa “pyaar”) ISN’T EVERYTHING IN LIFE OK????  

ok anika just don’t give a fuck anymoreeee. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaand the wig is offfff.

why’s gauri shocked? she fully knew anika was here? they slept in the same bed??? 

ajay is the shivaay of bareilly. all authoritative and shouty and shiz. pity that the real shivaay is here, and about to teach him how it’s really done. 

LMAO MAAAAAAAAAA IS LIKE “I DIDN’T KNOW NOTHING! MAIN TOH ALLAH MIYAAN KI GAAAIII HOON!!” 😂😂😂😂

shivaay’s having a haaaaaard time controlling himself. teeth grinding and eye rolling to the max. 

lololololololol looks like ajay’s maa itself shall be cockblocking him. 

“THA NAHI. HOON.” 

daaaaaaaaaayum son! 

LMAO SHIVAAY’S FACE LIKE “I TRIED, MAN. I TRIED.” 

styyyyyylish and tadi-filled removal of pagdis and wigs. 

god kunal, tumhe koi haq nahi banta ki tum itne khoobsurat lago. NOT FAIR! 😫😫😫😫

lol nakuul’s champu hair, compared to the other two’s faaaaaahbulous, totally-unaffected-by-pagdi hair. 

obligatory ‘haaye my beautiful boys!’ waala shot. 😍😍😍

gauri be like WHY ARE MY SASURAAL WAALE SUCH FREAKSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OMG

EP 402 (01.11.17)

LMAO like whaaaaaaaat trip is ajay even on? she’s HIS wife, not yours. what “cheeeen lega” and all??? kuch bhi. chal hatt, chutiya kahinka. 

can’t wait for obros to hand ajay’s ass to him. coz he’s quite honestly asking for it. 

hee hee hee, i shall always get a kick outta shivaay jumping men who have like at least half a foot on him and trying to fight them. my smol fighty baby. 

OMFG OMKARA KO CHAANTA. AB TOH NAHI BACHEGA TU BETA. AB TOH TICKET KATAA HI LE WAAPSI KI. 

WHY’S RUDRA STOPPING SHIVAAY???? BRO, YOU’RE SUPP TO JUMP AJAY TOO???? MY GOD, NIKKAMMA KA NIKAMMA ONLY THIS IDIOT BOY IS. WHEN YOU GONNA START PULLING YOUR DAMN WEIGHT AROUND HERE, ASSHOLE???????????????

awwww man shivaay’s face is making me cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy. 😭😭😭😭

OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGG BULBUL CALLING OUT TO BADE BHAIYYE #MYBROTPLIVES #shivriHameshaAmarRahe

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BITCCCCCCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

ab baby bulbul ne aadesh diya hai tohhh... 

lol bulbul’s bloodlust will not be satisfied with just the one obro. she wants them ALL to go to town on these bareilly bastards. and that’s allllllllll the encouragement hubs needs. 

how awesome is this shot of bulbul and her three protectors tho! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

gimme some shots of anika and bhavya kicking ass too plz??? 

ugh no, they’re relegated to cheerleaders. how lame. 

LMAO GAURI’S HAPPINESS AT THE CHAOS, FADING AWAY AT RICHA/MUKESH’S WTF FACES HAHAHAHA

shivaay’s like bro i’ve had enough of this small town bs. can we gtfo here pls? 

god i realllllly hate gauri’s outfit. it’s drowninggggg her tiny frame. 

“hum waapas nahi jaa sakte.” 

lmao everyone’s faces like “behen itna maar dhaar karne se pehle nahi bol sakti thi???? phukat mein energy waste.”  

i really love how shivaay is having waaaaaaay more of a devastated reaction than om at gauri not coming back. 

protip to shivaay: just legally adopt gauri (like you did sahil), so she’ll be your sister no matter what the fuck goes on in the rikara marriage. 

... we’re back in OM? 

oh yes we are. unless shivaay authoritatively makes hot chocolate for ppl in others’ kitchens as well. 

ok that sleeved vest looks really bad under THAT kurta, shivaay. 

shivaay, ever heard of giving someone (anyone!) personal space? no? ok cool. 

CAN A MAN ANGSTILY MOPE IN THE DARK ABOUT HIS WIFE MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE IN PEACE? PLEASE???!?!?!!!!!!

heavy vibes of post-ishaana kadhi-chawal scene no? 

still one of my eternal fave obro scenes. (“main iss baare mein baat nahi karna chahta!” *talks about it for 2 hours*)

“hota hai.”

haan is ghar mein toh aksar hota hai, ki biwi kisi aur se shaadi karne chali jaati hai, lekin NORMAL LOGON KE SAATH aisa nahi hota. 

oh boyyyyyy, shivaay ke khurafaati dimaag mein idea. 

meanwhile gauri is doing full intezaam of bhaagna from there. 

gosh gauri, since when are you such a terrible liar???

maa is doing everything she can to cover bitiyaa’s ass. love it. 

ajayyyyy doesn’t even wanna marry her???? then why’s he so insistenttttt????? 

STOP LYING TO HER SHIVAAY. FOR FUCKS SAKE HAVE YOU LEARNTTTTTTTTT NOTHINGGGGGG. GOD. 

“shankar ji apni chiraiyya ka dhyaan rakhlenge.”

YUP. IN THE FORM OF BADE BHAIYAAAAAA. WHO’S FLYING OVER AS WE SPEAK TO SAVE HIS BABY BIRD. 

omg how daaaaaaare he LIE TO HER FACE LIKE THIS. BITCH, ONE. YOU A HELLA SUCKY LIAR. AND TWO. SHE KNOWS YOUR DUMB ASS BETTER THAN YOU KNOW YOURSELF. 

“WE GOT OURSELVES A BULBUL TO KIDNAP.”

god this asshole really going to fucking kidnap gauri. srsly, it’s like he learned nothing from his first wedding. 

“yaar hum raat ko ghee lene jaa rahe hai????” 

LOLOLOL

fuck, my hearttttttttttt. god i love these stupidass boys so much. 

ooooooooooh gauri is overhearinggggg. 

YAAAAAAAAAS BULBUL YOU BEAT THE F OUTTA THIS ASSHOLE. 

pffffffffft, oh nowwwww she wants to call omkiiiiiii. 

of course he won’t pick up. girl, this is why you should depend on no man. 

ugh the cgi for the helicopter is so terrible. 

lol gauri has emptied her whole wardrobe into making escape waali rassi. she’s seen golmaal (puraana waala, not the chutiya new ones) one too many times i think. 

pffffffffffft waise toh bada kidnapping ka plan bana raha tha??? karne ka time aaya toh shivaay is just standing there frozen and other two just pushed him to side and moved on. 

LMAO HER INNER MONOLOGUE I LOVE GAURIIIIIIIIIII SO MUCH 

LOLOLOLOL HE WAS GONNA BUST INTO A SHER AND RUDRA’S FRUSTRATION

“YEH KAISA AADMI HAI???? BHAABI MUBARAK HO, HUM AAPKO KIDNAP KARNE AAYE HAI.” LMAOOOOOOOOOO

be still my beating heart! 😍😍😍😍

omfg ommmmmmmmmm you idiot her headdddddddddd!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand great. ajay and minions are here. ugh. 

obros exchanging “it’s go time!!!!!!” faces. 

wow. that was hella easy. 

ep 403 (02.11.17)

wow, gauri still hasn’t regained consciousness? maybe you shoulda taken her to a doctor for a ct scan or something first.

“bhaiyya, aur koi illegal kaam karna hai ya main sone jaaon?” LMAO 

anika’s detective dimaag is on during half-sleep also. AMAZING. 

but never fearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! billu’s here to romance it outta her. haaaaaaye.

ugh. fuck these two ridiculously attractive assholes who won’t bang and insist on killing me with sexual tension. 

uh ohhhhhhhh, billu made a boo boo! wife is on to him!

omg look how tiny shrenu’s feeeeet are! 

ugh my heart. can these two just be happy now... pleaseeeee. they’re the life raft i have to tie myself to now that shivika are... just... idk what. 

snort. fucking idiot. 

“japan mere zehen main hai kyunki it’s my favt. country. wahan ki jo mount fuji hai na, it’s a really good mountain! mujhe wahan ka khaana bhi bohut pasand hai!”

LMAO WHAT IS THIS A NIBANDH HE WROTE FOR INTERNATIONAL DAY AT SCHOOL????? 

omfggggg “sabudaana vada khaaya hai tumne japan ka???” hahahahahahaha

I NEED SPACE?????? BITCH GO MAKE AN OBEROI COLONY ON MARS THEN. BADA AAYA SPACE MAANGNE WAALA. 

IDGI???? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TELL HER GAURI’S IN THE HOUSE???? WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER????? 

goddddd anika, why must you discuss all your marriage matters with some other person???? 

lol anika calling bhavya out on knowing rudra wasn’t home last night haha

ouffffff anika, you really need to get a hobby. like, take up watercolours. or knitting. maybe get a pet. horseriding?you need SOMETHING to distract you from the fuckery that is this house and your weirdass marriage. 

LMAO RUDRA “usually kidnapping ke baad phiroti ke liye call karte hai. main karoon kya???” 

“BIWI HAI MERI, GHADDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 😂😂😂😂

“we have to keep it under wraps”... MAYBE START BY CLOSING YOUR DAMN DOOR?!?!!?!? 

lolololol man i’m loving the return of omRu scenes. i reallyyyyy missed these two together. 

OMFG OM EK TOH SHE’S UNCONSCIOUS UPAR SE YOU’RE WRAPPING HER AND STASHING HER IN A CUPBOARD????

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the sisters are here. with their shak waali nazrein. 

the face on an honest man who isn’t lying his pants off. amazing. 

oh hooooooo anikaaaa, you’re so annoyinggggg when you get like this. 

pfffffffft. brothers are here. ab hoga tamasha. 

LMAO AND TAMASHAAA IT IS. THE WAY HE FAINTED ONTO THE BED HAHAHAHAH 

ouff the amount of nautanki. 

LMAO THE WAY HE GOT UP ALL FINE AND THEN REMEMBERED HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE AND FELL AGAIN LOLOLOLOL

lol for first time rudra is doing bagaavat against his eternal master bhaabi

OMFG THE WAY RUDRA JUST PICKED HIM UP AND TOOK HIM I AM DYING HAHAHAHAHA

ohhhhh boy she’s going back into om’s room. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand caught! 

OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA “DEKHO KAUN AAYA HAI!!!! GAURI! AA GAYI!” HAHAHAHAHHAHHA I AM FUCKING DYING OMG HAHAHAHAHA

ok, what exactly is anika’s problem here? she also wanted gauri to come back? matlab... i really don’t get her newfangled issues these days. 

kabhi nahi socha tha ki yeh din bhi dekhne padenge where i’d be on shivaay’s side during arguments. waah re prabhu, teri leela. 

gauri’s having a legit “main kahaaan hoon?” moment. 

great anika has taken her lecturebaaazi outside to the devars. she’s really getting on my last nerve these days. 

like i get her point and all, but behen, tum apne buddhi waale dhong se kaunsa usko izzat-o-aabroo se lene gayi thi???? matlab kuchhhhh bhi.

lmao anika ki toh tain tain phisssssssssssss ho gayiiii. 

and lolololol look at this idiot boy who’s not even hugging her back, he’s just like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO SOMEONE TELL ME?!?!!?!?! 

lmao shivaay’s look of triumph. he’s literally likeeeee 

ouff ok gauri, heavy on the mythological references this early in the morning. 

lmaoooo shivaay knocking om on the back for the patti thing. matlab, when sso thinks you’re being a little extra, know you’ve gone truly overboard. 

ugh ok she forgave him already??? itnaaa bhi lightly nahi jhaadna tha matter ko. 

anika be like behen, y u no tell plan? ainvayiiii mein moral science lecture diye phir rahi thi.

ok i really thought the anika learns about gauri title was about the chutki secret, but siiiiiiiiigh. 

aaaaaand these two are fighting. 

“aise hi rehna hai???? sudharna nahi hai???” 

lol 1 crore ka sawaal pooch diya tumne anikaaaa

god you two, this relationship is fucking exhausting and i’m just a passive witness to it. I CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE BEING IN IT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND THERE GO THE PHONES. 

ep 404 (03.11.17)

servants of the house be thinking ‘itne din se kitchen achcha khaasa saaf-sutra tha. lo aa gaye phir gandh machaane.’

godddddddddddddd rudra’s besura singing.

shivaay’s being hella relatable these days.

ok i really don’t like this shakki biwi nonsense of anika’s. like, stop ruining my girl pls. 

awwww my chiraiyya and her bhaujai. 

um, why is this person dressed literally in pinky’s clothes??? 

ok i don’t caaaaaaaaare about this nonsenseeeeee. fwding. 

what even is happening?? you two have been married for like 3 hours and are still fucking up on a minute by minute basis. bade aaye rudra ko marriage advice dene waale. 

I HATE THIS GARBAGE TROPE OF MEN IN DRAG ON INDIAN TV. DAMN YOU KAPIL SHARMA FOR STARTING THIS NONSENSE. A PLAGUE UPON YOUR (ILLEGALLY CONSTRUCTED) HOUSE!

lol shivaay and om inspecting the custard in the bg as if it’s some huuuuge lab experiment or something. 

..... god anikaaaa, you’re a fucking idiot. 

lmao bhavya’s such an enabler. 

ouffff gauri, not you toooooooooooo. 

anika idiot, custard toh lekar bhaagti. 

he’s not gonna catch her. and this is gonna create a huge big raita. *siiiiiiiiiigh*

calllled it. 

bhavya, my sweet, please find yourself a better man. you deserve sooooooooooo much better. 

OMFG SHIVAAY PUT THE FUCKING PLATE DOWN. FUCKING IDIOT. 

GOD THIS IS THE STUPIDEST PLOT EVER ITS FUCKING 4 AM WHY AM I WATCHING THIS GARBAGE 

NOWWWWWWWWW WE TALKINGGGGGG 😏😏😏😏

oooooooooooooooh the chutkiiiiiiii photooooooooooooooo. 

SHE’S IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH YOU. SHE’S MISSED YOU TOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BABIESSSSSSS!!!! MY TWO GIRLSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

EVERY TIME I THINK OF THEM BEING SISTERS FOR REAL, MY HEART OVERFLOWS WITH FEELS

abbe, seedha seedha custard deke jaa na; yeh senti waala lecture kisko sunna hai.

that custard is fucking LIQUID. matlab, set hone tak toh sabrrr karta bro???? 

GOD I HATE THIS NONSENSE OF THE GIRL SAYING SOMETHING WHEN SHE MEANS SOMETHING ELSE. I KNOW WE DO THIS SHIT A LOT BUT WE REALLY GOTTA STOP. MEN DON’T UNDERSTAND IT THE WAY OTHER GIRLS DO. THEY JUST DON’T. SO STOP IT. 

“400 episode ho gaye lekin anika abhi bhi yehi keh rahi hai ki SHIVAAAAY AAAP KYAAAA KAR RAHE HAI???”

i would laugh at the meta but i am too angry that you haven’t as much as made outttttttt yet. what the everlovingggg fuckkkkkkk. you ppl better bang before ep 500 so help me god. SO HELP ME GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ouffffff rudra, ever heard of personal space? you’re the worst. dafaaaa ho!

oh haaaaaaaaaai abhayyyyyy, you hotass demonchild. how you been???? actually, fuck you, where’s my girl tanya and how’s she been???? 

THIS IS LITERALLY DOODH AND JAM THAT HE’S FEEDING HER. LIKE.... IT’S ANNOYINGGGGG ME YOUGAIZ. IT’S ANNOYING ME SO MUCH. 

dayummmm, omki making sex eyes at wife. will i get my tharak fulfilled here first????? will omki shomki and chutki maarofy baazi first?!?!?! 

OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!! I JUST MIGHTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! 😯😯😯

OMG FUCK YOU RUDRA MAY YOU NEVER HAVE ANOTHER ORGASM IN YOUR LIFE EVER AGAIN YOU STUPID COCKBLOCKER 😡😡😡😡

lmaooooo om’s glee when rudra finally left. i love this idiot child so much. 

UGH BAATEIN?!?!?!!? WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT BAATEIN?????GET BACK TO THE MAKING OUTTTTTTTTTTTT YOU STUPID NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[ericbrandonrp]

SHIPPING INFO

Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog. REPOST. Don’t reblog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse?:  Each single one of my ships are my OTPs, tbh. They are all different.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?: Almost anything you like. I’m not a fan of pre-established relationships because there are so many things about Eric that I haven’t written up on his about page and that muses have to learn about - but what’s what he would tell a partner. Other than that, we can go with a lot of fluff (and a good portion of angst), friendships, one-night stands, whatever you like, really. Eric is a huge flirt, though, so beware.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?:  Personally I don’t like huge age gaps, but whatever. An absolute no-go is with a muse (and mun!!) under 18; everything above 21 is absolutely perfect. This is also Eric’s preference, btw.

Are you selective when shipping?: Not really. I’d like to say I am, but that wouldn’t be the truth. I ship with chemistry, which means that when our muses click, I will already ship it. What I absolutely don’t like is when someone chooses their muse to go straight for a ship. Eric will usually block it.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?:  The moment hands wander down south. Kisses are a-okay and not considered NSFW. Once any genitals are mentioned, I will tag it with NSFW (but not write it under a read more because srsly what’s the use of that? I don’t use any icons for explicit sex scenes).

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?: ...there are so many lol Just check out his ship page!

Does one have to ask to ship with you?: No. But I also don’t like to be asked because like I said I ship with chemistry. If someone comes into my inbox and I don’t know them and they go ‘hey wanna ship our muses’ then it’s a clear NO. Because? CHEMISTRY. I need them to interact. Sometimes it takes a bit longer for Eric to develop a crush and then work on it; sometimes he falls in love head over heels. Just like in real life.

How often do you like to ship?: Stupid question.

Are you multiship?:  Yes.

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?: Ship whore. I mean seriously look at my blog there is way too many ships there xD 

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?:  I’m in no fandom. Eric is fandomless, too.

Finally, how does one ship with you?:  Aaand another stupid question. Just ship it. We are both allowed to ship anything we like, as long as we don’t force it on the other. Yes, Eric loves women as much as he loves alcohol, and he will work on that and flirt with any female being that is crossing his path. I may ship it. But that doesn’t mean you have to like it or feel forced to do the same. If he flirts with your muse, and you are not comfortable with it, then let your muse slap him. Let them tell him to fuck off. Easy as that.

TAGGED BY: @the-storm-within-me TAGGING: @ophelia-hendrix @warrioroflondonbelow @a-kitten-with-claws @littlcstarling @mikahcastile @dysfunctionalmasons @xdiaryofavixen and whoever wants to