#but srsly someone slap me and force me to write

[fashionkingcarney]

ravenous, ravenous

one | two

When he looks up and spots her, standing paces away, his whole face lights up. “Eurydice,” he says, breathy and hopeful, and damn him for how her name sounds in his voice.

Home, he'd promised her.

“Eurydice,” he says gently, prying her hands off his shoulders and clutching her fingers. “Do you want this with me?” 

chapter two - read here on AO3

The lock on Orpheus’s door is rusted over. He fumbles through his pockets with one hand, dropping crumpled scraps of notepad paper on the dusty floor, apologizing with every breath. Still, he holds her hand tight, as if she might make a break for it if he lets go. Even as he struggles, reaching crosswise to his left pocket, he refuses to release her.

“Hold on a second,” she tells him, swallowing the ridiculous giggle that bubbles up in her gut.  

With her free hand, she reaches into his pocket, digging through the copious amounts of crumpled newsprint, until she finds something cold and metallic, with teeth on the end. It’s a skeleton key tied to a length of torn red cloth, frayed along the edges.

“You can open it,” he offers, “If you’d like.”

A door for her to open; Eurydice can’t remember the last time she’d had one of those. She fumbles with the key, using the end to push aside the flap. She jams it in the wrong way on her first try, the metal creaking angrily in protest. She turns it to try again, the end of the key scratching hideously against the surface of the lock. It takes try after try, of turning the key clockwise and then counter-clockwise, and then back again. Orpheus is entirely unhelpful, holding her left hand sandwiched between both of his, when she pulls her right out of his grip.

Finally, a wiggle and a twist to the right and the pins click. The doorknob turns and the hinges on the door groan as the door swings open. He beams down at her, eyes alight.

Eurydice swallows another ridiculous giggle.

Orpheus’s apartment, a second floor walk up on top of the liquor store, is little more than four walls and a roof. The door opens to empty space, a kitchen and what must be a dining area with a makeshift table; a piece of plywood over a rusted metal frame, and a single stool. There’s a trio of chairs lined up one side, each with a bent leg or a slanted wooden seat or a contorted backrest. Scavenged furnishings and do-it-yourself projects; she isn’t surprised. She’d expected as much, when he’d offered her that paper flower.

And still; it’s four walls more than she’d had, wandering the streets.

“Well?” she slips off her coat and hugs it to her chest, setting her bag down at her feet. “What can I do?”

“I can take your coat,” he offers, taking it from her and draping it over a hook on the barren tree in the foyer. “Do you want some tea? Lady Persephone left me some from her hibiscus garden, before she left for the winter.”

“Orpheus.” Six steps and she’s crossed the room to where he is. She curls her hands around the leather straps of his suspenders and yanks him close. Until he’s standing flush against her, so close she can feel the thrum of his heart. “You wanted me to come home with you.”

He swallows. “Yes. Yes I did.”

“Well then, lover,” she purrs, “What do you want me to do?”

“I…I don’t know,” he stutters.

“What about this?” she leans up on tiptoes and presses her mouth to his jaw.

His breath hitches. “Is this what you want to do?”

“That’s not important,” she takes him by the hand, leads him to the rightmost chair. It creaks when he sits, the legs teetering like a seesaw when she gently pushes him down with her hands on his shoulders, standing between his legs. “You brought me home. Tell me what you like.”

“Eurydice,” he chokes out. “I didn’t ask you to come home with me because I wanted this.”

Her grip on his shoulders tighten. “Well why did you, then?”

He looks down at his hands. “To talk to you, I guess. I just feel like I need to know you.”

Need; she could scoff. How fanciful a life did he lead if he had the luxury of using need in the context of this? A musician with his head in the clouds, by the state of his apartment, she should’ve guessed his grasp of the reality of this broken world to be less than practical.

“You want to know me,” she corrects. “Need is something else, lover. Let me show you.”

“Eurydice,” he says gently, prying her hands off his shoulders and clutching her fingers. “Do you want this with me?”

“You’re giving me a choice?” She chokes on a laugh. “There is none. Not for a thing like me.”

“What do you want from me, then? What did you want with me?” he swallows. “You came back, you said you wanted to come home with me. Why?”

That she’d been cold and hungry, and he’d seemed decent enough that she might offer herself to him to solve one of those problems—she can’t explain that to him. He, who doesn’t understand the difference between need and want, or perhaps just places want before need. The wants of his mind over the needs of his body. She’d resigned herself to bartering her flesh. Her body for a place to sleep, it’d seemed reasonable. But it’s her he wants and not the physical of what she’s willing to trade. She’s not for sale. She’d come to him as her last resort, but she’d sooner freeze than barter her soul.

Eurydice can’t stay.

She picks up her bag, heaving it up over her shoulder, wincing as the strap bears down on that line of muscle in her back that’s ready to give out. “This was a mistake. I should go. I’m going to go.”

“I’m sorry,” he says in a rush, “If it’s something I’ve said or done, please, I’m sorry. You don’t have to go.”

“Look, I’m offering you sex and only that,” she squints at him. “But that’s not what you want, is it?”

He runs his fingers up his hair, mussing it even more. “Where will you go?”

What he doesn’t say: he doesn’t want sex, if it’s something she’s offering for trade.

She could laugh at his privilege.

“I’ll figure something out.” She picks her coat off the hook he’d draped it on. “Goodbye, Orpheus.”

The door closes gently behind her. She’ll find a way. She’ll have to.

  The doors to the train station close at eight in the evening, but there’s no lock on the door. Just a deadbolt on the outside that slips open with a tug at the latch. The lights are turned off, and the heating system’s creaky old pipes that had whined all day are silent. Eurydice exhales in a huff of frost. The place hadn’t been inviting in the light of day, but in the dark of night, it’s downright haunted.

There are slabs of wood on concrete blocks serving as benches, placed intermittently along the station’s walls. Glass panes form the exterior walls, and the black sealant is broken in places. Day had brought a touch of warmth, the furnace heating the space, but the nights are colder and with the heating powered down, the chill creeps through the cracks.

Eurydice picks the bench farthest from the windows and sets her bag down. Months ago, she’d had bedding, a roll of blankets with a pillow sandwiched in the hollow. No bed of feathers, but something to lie on, something to cover her legs. That’s gone now, lost on a train somewhere in the Midwest. All that remains are the clothes off her back. The wool on her coat unravels in tufts, the silk slip she’d repurposed into a dress offers no warmth. Her stockings have runs, where they’d caught on hooks and nails, gauging the skin underneath. She’d bled and then healed, the torn flesh scabbing and then scarring, but the wounds to the delicate nylon weren’t so easily healed.

Her coat is her blanket, her bag, a pillow. She clutches it to her stomach, curling her legs up and around all her worldly possessions. Eurydice yawns, wincing as the movement sends a fresh wave of pain through her stomach; she’d journeyed so far and so long, and all for this. A bench in a train station and a worthless three quarters to her name. She’d slept sitting up on dirty hay, dozed off while standing, holding onto a railing inside a train car. There’d been a rhyme and a reason to that struggle then, she’d given up her feather bed for—honour. There’s no honour to being homeless in the winter; pride will neither feed her, nor provide her shelter.

Fatigue pulls her under now, she drifts, her eyes heavy.

But the wind picks up, the building rattles. Something tugs at her bag and she jerks awake, clutching the coarse canvas satchel so tightly her knuckles turn white. The door to the place had opened easily for her, it would be just as easy for someone else to come in take all she has. A meagre nothing, but her nothing all the same.

And though the day—the days—had been interminably long, her eyes stay glued to the horizon as the morning light bleeds through the night.

She can’t do this again.

[0ooruioo0]

↣Shinra, Beni

Fandom: Fire Force

Pairing: Shinra/Reader, Benimaru/reader

Content/s: Headcannon, I don’t know if I got s/o’s personality correct forgive me

Request: Shinra and Beni dating a female s/o who's carefree and shameless? Thank you in advance

                                               Benimaru Shinmon

•　This man's fucking proud for your shameless behavior

•　He finds it cute how carefree you are from this awful world

•　Likes to watch you enjoy and be free

•　When you want to say smth rude he won't stop you

•　Especially when they did deserve it

•　He'd be supportive and tells you to continue

•　"Don't worry, break their ego more!"

•　Sometimes he thinks you two are alike ya know. When you guys are in those stupid meetings.

•　"Jesus he looks like a fcking donkey"

•　"I know right, go tell him that"

•　I bet he's that person who'd ditch you when your caught doing shit

•　"I don't know them"

•　"What- Beni?!"

•　He would join you somewhere on a high building, hearing you insult ppl

•　He thinks being truthful is good, he likes that about you

                                                Shinra Kusakabe

•　Everyone whose friends with Shinra or at least knows him sees him as a very respectful boi

•　When everyone found out he was dating the y/n, that woman who needed a leash around her neck. They were shocked...

•　'they were total opposites, tf?' they thought

•　Yeah well, they do say opposites attract

•　Whenever you were looking like you did something wrong. Shinra would quickly drag you away as fast as he can.

•　Especially someone like Benimaru or Hinazawa (that man took shit srsly)

•　Sometimes when he couldn't drag you. He would slap a hand on your mouth to shut you up before you get a scolding

•　But sometimes, he'd leave you alone to your remarks.

•　That person probably deserved it either way

•　Shinra's just gonna be in the side and pretend he's not listening

•　Silently rooting for you to go even further sometimes.

•　"Go ahead."

•　Steps to the side as the person cries for help and Shinra just stares at them.

 ───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

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[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz ep 400 - 404 lb

now, let’s see what fresh hell my idiot children have raised in the one week i left them unsupervised! 

ep 400 (30.10.17)

ok you know what, i reallllllly do not care about this lameass shivika plot. i didn’t care one week ago when i was watching in real time, and now one week later, i literally couldn’t give less of a fuck. ugh. already disgruntled at having to sit through this garbage. 

YOU FUCKERS SHOULD BE CONCENTRATING ON RIKARA, PAR NAHI, IDHAR BHI APNE AINVAYIII KE ISSUES. HONESTLY. THINK ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELVES FOR 4 MINUTES. AND IF YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOURSELVES, THINK PROPERLY LIKE NORMAL MARRIED COUPLES, AND GO BANG. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD. 

ugh ok i really don’t care about anika’s nonsense mental issues when there’s literally so many other problems. fwding this bs. 

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas, rikara!!!!!!!! 

i am honestly so emosh rn. 😭😭😭

yaaaaaaas baby girl! call him out on his bs! 

ok can’t help but feel a little bad for kunal’s kamar in this scene. is it just me or is he ladkhadaayiing a bit? 

UGH GTFO SHIVIKA I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU TWO RN UNLESS YOU’RE FUCKING. 

anika has legittttttttttttt lost her goddamned mind. honestly, what the fuck have they done to my girl???? 

IS THIS HONESTLY AN ISSUE???? LIKE???? I CAN’T EVEN WITH THESE TWO ASSHOLES RIGHT NOW. JUST GTFO MY SCREEN BEFORE I RAGE QUIT WATCHING THIS EP. 

lmao ok kunal ki saaas phul rahi hai, someone give the poor boy a sec to catch his breath. 

YAS GAURI ASKKKKKKKKKKKK HIMMMMMMMM 

pffffffft, don’t even talk about shivika’s ishqbaazi rn gauri, coz... i just can’t. 

“WOH DONO EK DUSRE KO NEECHA NAHI DIKHAATE KABHI.”

ok someone needs to sit gauri down and tell her all of bade bhaiyya ke puraane paap. 

and rudra’s just going snip-happy on ajay’s car like a toddler in crafts class. best. 

ok ruvya nonsense is what i care about least in this show so fwd fwd fwd. 

this trope of shit getting stuck in each other’s jewelry and what not is literally the worst. 

OK RUDRA NEEDS TO BE GIVEN ONE TIGHT SLAP. WHY THE FUCK IS BHAVYA EVEN PUTTING UP WITH THIS BS? SHE JUST NEEDS TO TELL SHIVAAY WHAT’S UP AND GTFO THE STUPID “BOND” CLAUSE. 

god i’m just so mad at heterosexuality rn. all these ppl just need to leave each other alone already, coz together, they just make each other and everyone else miserable as fuck. 

YAS GAURI. TEAR THAT DUPATTA. FREE YOURSELF FROM THE SHACKLES OF THE HEGEMONIC INSTITUTION THAT IS MATRIMONY IN THE DESI SOCIETYYYYYYYYYYYY

why am i being forced to watch this utter TRASH that is this shivika plot? it’s literally worse than the ruvya plot. #bloodyUNSAHIKKABLE (something for my southie peeps there.) 

never thought i’d relate SO MUCH with shivaay during an argument, but hey, here we are. matlab facepalm kar kar ke mera toh mooh hi laal ho gaya hai. 

ok what even is this editing? ffs, kuch toh transition effect daalo scenes ke beech mein. 

oh gauriiiiiiii, my baby girl, don’t cryyyyyyyyy. mera dillll jaltaaa haiiiiii. i can’t bear to see you like this. 😥😥😥😢😢😢

ok i can’t bear his crying either, but he deserves to cry a little, so dil pe patthar rakh ke seh loongi main. 

GOD SRSLY ANIKA YOU NEED TO GROW UP. 

great. usko bhi pakad ke taana and issue. shivaay just leave her be. let her go eat something and she’ll calm the fuck down in time and come find you. 🙄🙄🙄

i’m just fwding this garbage, because after EVERYTHING they went though, if she still doesn’t trust him, phir mujhe kuch nahi kehna. honestly, so done with this. 

ok just in case i didn’t hate men enough in this episode, ajay’s here to MAKE SURE ki koi kasar reh toh nahi gayi. 😒😒😒

okay fuckkkkk offf shitty ajayyyyyyy, with your crappy unibrow. 

OMFG HAATH LAGAAYA, SAALE KAMEENE HIMMAT KAISE HUIIIIII KAAAT KE GANDE NAALI MEIN NA PHENK DOON MAIN

ok this grownass man has been TOLD the issue to his face and he’s still like “idk why she’s mad at me?????” why are men like thisssss????? 

god why won’t this shitty ass episode enddddddddddddddd??? 400th episode my ass. 

waah, bhavya’s gonna solve the mysteries of the feminine mind for bhaiyya. 

lol this little golu molu baby sardar. what a cutie. 

this show really nails their casting of kids. highly surprising how all of them are non annoying. 

YOU KNOW HOW YOU CAN BRING BACK HER KHOYA HUA CONFIDENCE? BY SEXING HER. SO PLEASE. GET TO IT. MATLAB, TUM AADMI HO YA PAJAMA?!!?!

GOD FINALLLLLLLLLLY THIS DAMN EPISODE IS FUCKING OVER. HALLELUJAH. 

ep 401 (31.10.17)

aaaaaaaand golu molu is back. 

shivaay, don’t you have enough issues in your life???? ek aur issue ke beech mein taang adaa rahe ho???? go talk to your stupid wife.  

... is there a reason he got outta costume for this???? 

and god the ugly blue filter. hate. HAAAAAAAAATE. WHY DO THEY USE IT EVERY TIME THESE TWO HAVE A SCENE IN THIS LOCATION????? IT’S SO FUCKING UGLY. 

man do i haaaave to watch this???? he’s just gonna be all i promise ill love you when you’re old and blah blah blah physical looks don’t matter dil matters and blah blah. 

“i’m not trying, i AM cute.” 

pffffffffft. ek toh overconfidence ki hadh. you’re not even that cute. doosra, bebe!Anika is this close to taking off her chandni and beating all the cute outta you. 

my god i cannot be gladder than i am to be utterly single rn, coz jesus above, being in a relationship looks fucking exhausting. yahaan mujhse apne emotions aur issues jhele nahi jaate, and you have to be deal with someone elses’ neuroses too???? no thanks. 

i am baby!sardar and he is me. utterly sick of these ppl and screaming “meri jaan baksh do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

called shivaay’s nonsense speech almost down to the word. not feeling particularly proud about it tho, coz that just means the writing of this show is just thaaaaat thakela. 

OMG ANIKA WHICH OTHER WOMAN WOULD EVEN WANT THIS STUPID GODFORSAKEN DEMON OF A MAN?????????? HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT????????? THAT LITERALLY NO OTHER WOMAN IN ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH CAN TOLERATE HIM????? 

ok i swear to god rudra needs to get hit by a bus or something. #freeBhavya

WHY WON’T THIS STUPID SCENE END OMG

fwding. don’t care. gimme gauri. NOW. NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW. 

OOOOH. WHY’S BULBUL COMING TO OMKI????? is she realising that she’d rather be married to repentant hottie shaayar rather than ugly unibrow handsy fucker???

ok. clue has been given that richa is the reason. use your goddamn brain now, omki. 

god his sexyyyyy agony whisper voice. it’s doing things to meeeeeeee. 😍😍😍

haaaaaye his face. be still my beating heart. 

of course. ajay is daksh 2.0, but not even half as entertaining. 

i miss daksh, man. after svetlana, he’s the most lolz delivering waala villain this show has ever had. 

OK WHAT EVEN IS THIS OUTFIT GAURI IS WEARING LORD ABOVE NA SAR HAI NA PAIR, JAANE KAISE TEEN CHAAR CHICHDE JOD DIYE HAI AUR USKO “OUTFIT” BULA RAHE HO

angsty sexyyyyyyyyyyyyy eyes are being maaaaaade. 😭😭😭

and ugly ajay is noticinggg and grinding his teeth all shivaay-style. 

ughhhhh ajay you’re the fucking worst. i really fucking hope the oberois go to town on you and repeatedly kick you in the nuts. 

ok shivaay’s outfit has actually made me go blind and i’m now watching this episode with my mann ki aankhein. 😣😣😣

shivaay still can’t understand the concept of consent and free will. honestly, i think this idiot needs to have the point beaten into him. 

aisi time par bhi isko shayari sooj rahi hai. emo!maxxxxx only my son is. 

“mujhse vaada karo hum aur kuch nahi karenge.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR OBEROI KIN AT ALL??????? SHAADI KHUD KI HO YA KISI AUR KI, TAMASHA TOH KARNA HI HAI! 

omfgggggggg anika, COZ PYAAAR (woh bhi aisa ek number ka ghatiyaaaa “pyaar”) ISN’T EVERYTHING IN LIFE OK????  

ok anika just don’t give a fuck anymoreeee. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaand the wig is offfff.

why’s gauri shocked? she fully knew anika was here? they slept in the same bed??? 

ajay is the shivaay of bareilly. all authoritative and shouty and shiz. pity that the real shivaay is here, and about to teach him how it’s really done. 

LMAO MAAAAAAAAAA IS LIKE “I DIDN’T KNOW NOTHING! MAIN TOH ALLAH MIYAAN KI GAAAIII HOON!!” 😂😂😂😂

shivaay’s having a haaaaaard time controlling himself. teeth grinding and eye rolling to the max. 

lololololololol looks like ajay’s maa itself shall be cockblocking him. 

“THA NAHI. HOON.” 

daaaaaaaaaayum son! 

LMAO SHIVAAY’S FACE LIKE “I TRIED, MAN. I TRIED.” 

styyyyyylish and tadi-filled removal of pagdis and wigs. 

god kunal, tumhe koi haq nahi banta ki tum itne khoobsurat lago. NOT FAIR! 😫😫😫😫

lol nakuul’s champu hair, compared to the other two’s faaaaaahbulous, totally-unaffected-by-pagdi hair. 

obligatory ‘haaye my beautiful boys!’ waala shot. 😍😍😍

gauri be like WHY ARE MY SASURAAL WAALE SUCH FREAKSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OMG

EP 402 (01.11.17)

LMAO like whaaaaaaaat trip is ajay even on? she’s HIS wife, not yours. what “cheeeen lega” and all??? kuch bhi. chal hatt, chutiya kahinka. 

can’t wait for obros to hand ajay’s ass to him. coz he’s quite honestly asking for it. 

hee hee hee, i shall always get a kick outta shivaay jumping men who have like at least half a foot on him and trying to fight them. my smol fighty baby. 

OMFG OMKARA KO CHAANTA. AB TOH NAHI BACHEGA TU BETA. AB TOH TICKET KATAA HI LE WAAPSI KI. 

WHY’S RUDRA STOPPING SHIVAAY???? BRO, YOU’RE SUPP TO JUMP AJAY TOO???? MY GOD, NIKKAMMA KA NIKAMMA ONLY THIS IDIOT BOY IS. WHEN YOU GONNA START PULLING YOUR DAMN WEIGHT AROUND HERE, ASSHOLE???????????????

awwww man shivaay’s face is making me cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy. 😭😭😭😭

OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGG BULBUL CALLING OUT TO BADE BHAIYYE #MYBROTPLIVES #shivriHameshaAmarRahe

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BITCCCCCCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

ab baby bulbul ne aadesh diya hai tohhh... 

lol bulbul’s bloodlust will not be satisfied with just the one obro. she wants them ALL to go to town on these bareilly bastards. and that’s allllllllll the encouragement hubs needs. 

how awesome is this shot of bulbul and her three protectors tho! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

gimme some shots of anika and bhavya kicking ass too plz??? 

ugh no, they’re relegated to cheerleaders. how lame. 

LMAO GAURI’S HAPPINESS AT THE CHAOS, FADING AWAY AT RICHA/MUKESH’S WTF FACES HAHAHAHA

shivaay’s like bro i’ve had enough of this small town bs. can we gtfo here pls? 

god i realllllly hate gauri’s outfit. it’s drowninggggg her tiny frame. 

“hum waapas nahi jaa sakte.” 

lmao everyone’s faces like “behen itna maar dhaar karne se pehle nahi bol sakti thi???? phukat mein energy waste.”  

i really love how shivaay is having waaaaaaay more of a devastated reaction than om at gauri not coming back. 

protip to shivaay: just legally adopt gauri (like you did sahil), so she’ll be your sister no matter what the fuck goes on in the rikara marriage. 

... we’re back in OM? 

oh yes we are. unless shivaay authoritatively makes hot chocolate for ppl in others’ kitchens as well. 

ok that sleeved vest looks really bad under THAT kurta, shivaay. 

shivaay, ever heard of giving someone (anyone!) personal space? no? ok cool. 

CAN A MAN ANGSTILY MOPE IN THE DARK ABOUT HIS WIFE MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE IN PEACE? PLEASE???!?!?!!!!!!

heavy vibes of post-ishaana kadhi-chawal scene no? 

still one of my eternal fave obro scenes. (“main iss baare mein baat nahi karna chahta!” *talks about it for 2 hours*)

“hota hai.”

haan is ghar mein toh aksar hota hai, ki biwi kisi aur se shaadi karne chali jaati hai, lekin NORMAL LOGON KE SAATH aisa nahi hota. 

oh boyyyyyy, shivaay ke khurafaati dimaag mein idea. 

meanwhile gauri is doing full intezaam of bhaagna from there. 

gosh gauri, since when are you such a terrible liar???

maa is doing everything she can to cover bitiyaa’s ass. love it. 

ajayyyyy doesn’t even wanna marry her???? then why’s he so insistenttttt????? 

STOP LYING TO HER SHIVAAY. FOR FUCKS SAKE HAVE YOU LEARNTTTTTTTTT NOTHINGGGGGG. GOD. 

“shankar ji apni chiraiyya ka dhyaan rakhlenge.”

YUP. IN THE FORM OF BADE BHAIYAAAAAA. WHO’S FLYING OVER AS WE SPEAK TO SAVE HIS BABY BIRD. 

omg how daaaaaaare he LIE TO HER FACE LIKE THIS. BITCH, ONE. YOU A HELLA SUCKY LIAR. AND TWO. SHE KNOWS YOUR DUMB ASS BETTER THAN YOU KNOW YOURSELF. 

“WE GOT OURSELVES A BULBUL TO KIDNAP.”

god this asshole really going to fucking kidnap gauri. srsly, it’s like he learned nothing from his first wedding. 

“yaar hum raat ko ghee lene jaa rahe hai????” 

LOLOLOL

fuck, my hearttttttttttt. god i love these stupidass boys so much. 

ooooooooooh gauri is overhearinggggg. 

YAAAAAAAAAS BULBUL YOU BEAT THE F OUTTA THIS ASSHOLE. 

pffffffffft, oh nowwwww she wants to call omkiiiiiii. 

of course he won’t pick up. girl, this is why you should depend on no man. 

ugh the cgi for the helicopter is so terrible. 

lol gauri has emptied her whole wardrobe into making escape waali rassi. she’s seen golmaal (puraana waala, not the chutiya new ones) one too many times i think. 

pffffffffffft waise toh bada kidnapping ka plan bana raha tha??? karne ka time aaya toh shivaay is just standing there frozen and other two just pushed him to side and moved on. 

LMAO HER INNER MONOLOGUE I LOVE GAURIIIIIIIIIII SO MUCH 

LOLOLOLOL HE WAS GONNA BUST INTO A SHER AND RUDRA’S FRUSTRATION

“YEH KAISA AADMI HAI???? BHAABI MUBARAK HO, HUM AAPKO KIDNAP KARNE AAYE HAI.” LMAOOOOOOOOOO

be still my beating heart! 😍😍😍😍

omfg ommmmmmmmmm you idiot her headdddddddddd!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand great. ajay and minions are here. ugh. 

obros exchanging “it’s go time!!!!!!” faces. 

wow. that was hella easy. 

ep 403 (02.11.17)

wow, gauri still hasn’t regained consciousness? maybe you shoulda taken her to a doctor for a ct scan or something first.

“bhaiyya, aur koi illegal kaam karna hai ya main sone jaaon?” LMAO 

anika’s detective dimaag is on during half-sleep also. AMAZING. 

but never fearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! billu’s here to romance it outta her. haaaaaaye.

ugh. fuck these two ridiculously attractive assholes who won’t bang and insist on killing me with sexual tension. 

uh ohhhhhhhh, billu made a boo boo! wife is on to him!

omg look how tiny shrenu’s feeeeet are! 

ugh my heart. can these two just be happy now... pleaseeeee. they’re the life raft i have to tie myself to now that shivika are... just... idk what. 

snort. fucking idiot. 

“japan mere zehen main hai kyunki it’s my favt. country. wahan ki jo mount fuji hai na, it’s a really good mountain! mujhe wahan ka khaana bhi bohut pasand hai!”

LMAO WHAT IS THIS A NIBANDH HE WROTE FOR INTERNATIONAL DAY AT SCHOOL????? 

omfggggg “sabudaana vada khaaya hai tumne japan ka???” hahahahahahaha

I NEED SPACE?????? BITCH GO MAKE AN OBEROI COLONY ON MARS THEN. BADA AAYA SPACE MAANGNE WAALA. 

IDGI???? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TELL HER GAURI’S IN THE HOUSE???? WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER????? 

goddddd anika, why must you discuss all your marriage matters with some other person???? 

lol anika calling bhavya out on knowing rudra wasn’t home last night haha

ouffffff anika, you really need to get a hobby. like, take up watercolours. or knitting. maybe get a pet. horseriding?you need SOMETHING to distract you from the fuckery that is this house and your weirdass marriage. 

LMAO RUDRA “usually kidnapping ke baad phiroti ke liye call karte hai. main karoon kya???” 

“BIWI HAI MERI, GHADDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 😂😂😂😂

“we have to keep it under wraps”... MAYBE START BY CLOSING YOUR DAMN DOOR?!?!!?!? 

lolololol man i’m loving the return of omRu scenes. i reallyyyyy missed these two together. 

OMFG OM EK TOH SHE’S UNCONSCIOUS UPAR SE YOU’RE WRAPPING HER AND STASHING HER IN A CUPBOARD????

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the sisters are here. with their shak waali nazrein. 

the face on an honest man who isn’t lying his pants off. amazing. 

oh hooooooo anikaaaa, you’re so annoyinggggg when you get like this. 

pfffffffft. brothers are here. ab hoga tamasha. 

LMAO AND TAMASHAAA IT IS. THE WAY HE FAINTED ONTO THE BED HAHAHAHAH 

ouff the amount of nautanki. 

LMAO THE WAY HE GOT UP ALL FINE AND THEN REMEMBERED HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE AND FELL AGAIN LOLOLOLOL

lol for first time rudra is doing bagaavat against his eternal master bhaabi

OMFG THE WAY RUDRA JUST PICKED HIM UP AND TOOK HIM I AM DYING HAHAHAHAHA

ohhhhh boy she’s going back into om’s room. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand caught! 

OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA “DEKHO KAUN AAYA HAI!!!! GAURI! AA GAYI!” HAHAHAHAHHAHHA I AM FUCKING DYING OMG HAHAHAHAHA

ok, what exactly is anika’s problem here? she also wanted gauri to come back? matlab... i really don’t get her newfangled issues these days. 

kabhi nahi socha tha ki yeh din bhi dekhne padenge where i’d be on shivaay’s side during arguments. waah re prabhu, teri leela. 

gauri’s having a legit “main kahaaan hoon?” moment. 

great anika has taken her lecturebaaazi outside to the devars. she’s really getting on my last nerve these days. 

like i get her point and all, but behen, tum apne buddhi waale dhong se kaunsa usko izzat-o-aabroo se lene gayi thi???? matlab kuchhhhh bhi.

lmao anika ki toh tain tain phisssssssssssss ho gayiiii. 

and lolololol look at this idiot boy who’s not even hugging her back, he’s just like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO SOMEONE TELL ME?!?!!?!?! 

lmao shivaay’s look of triumph. he’s literally likeeeee 

ouff ok gauri, heavy on the mythological references this early in the morning. 

lmaoooo shivaay knocking om on the back for the patti thing. matlab, when sso thinks you’re being a little extra, know you’ve gone truly overboard. 

ugh ok she forgave him already??? itnaaa bhi lightly nahi jhaadna tha matter ko. 

anika be like behen, y u no tell plan? ainvayiiii mein moral science lecture diye phir rahi thi.

ok i really thought the anika learns about gauri title was about the chutki secret, but siiiiiiiiigh. 

aaaaaand these two are fighting. 

“aise hi rehna hai???? sudharna nahi hai???” 

lol 1 crore ka sawaal pooch diya tumne anikaaaa

god you two, this relationship is fucking exhausting and i’m just a passive witness to it. I CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE BEING IN IT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND THERE GO THE PHONES. 

ep 404 (03.11.17)

servants of the house be thinking ‘itne din se kitchen achcha khaasa saaf-sutra tha. lo aa gaye phir gandh machaane.’

godddddddddddddd rudra’s besura singing.

shivaay’s being hella relatable these days.

ok i really don’t like this shakki biwi nonsense of anika’s. like, stop ruining my girl pls. 

awwww my chiraiyya and her bhaujai. 

um, why is this person dressed literally in pinky’s clothes??? 

ok i don’t caaaaaaaaare about this nonsenseeeeee. fwding. 

what even is happening?? you two have been married for like 3 hours and are still fucking up on a minute by minute basis. bade aaye rudra ko marriage advice dene waale. 

I HATE THIS GARBAGE TROPE OF MEN IN DRAG ON INDIAN TV. DAMN YOU KAPIL SHARMA FOR STARTING THIS NONSENSE. A PLAGUE UPON YOUR (ILLEGALLY CONSTRUCTED) HOUSE!

lol shivaay and om inspecting the custard in the bg as if it’s some huuuuge lab experiment or something. 

..... god anikaaaa, you’re a fucking idiot. 

lmao bhavya’s such an enabler. 

ouffff gauri, not you toooooooooooo. 

anika idiot, custard toh lekar bhaagti. 

he’s not gonna catch her. and this is gonna create a huge big raita. *siiiiiiiiiigh*

calllled it. 

bhavya, my sweet, please find yourself a better man. you deserve sooooooooooo much better. 

OMFG SHIVAAY PUT THE FUCKING PLATE DOWN. FUCKING IDIOT. 

GOD THIS IS THE STUPIDEST PLOT EVER ITS FUCKING 4 AM WHY AM I WATCHING THIS GARBAGE 

NOWWWWWWWWW WE TALKINGGGGGG 😏😏😏😏

oooooooooooooooh the chutkiiiiiiii photooooooooooooooo. 

SHE’S IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH YOU. SHE’S MISSED YOU TOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BABIESSSSSSS!!!! MY TWO GIRLSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

EVERY TIME I THINK OF THEM BEING SISTERS FOR REAL, MY HEART OVERFLOWS WITH FEELS

abbe, seedha seedha custard deke jaa na; yeh senti waala lecture kisko sunna hai.

that custard is fucking LIQUID. matlab, set hone tak toh sabrrr karta bro???? 

GOD I HATE THIS NONSENSE OF THE GIRL SAYING SOMETHING WHEN SHE MEANS SOMETHING ELSE. I KNOW WE DO THIS SHIT A LOT BUT WE REALLY GOTTA STOP. MEN DON’T UNDERSTAND IT THE WAY OTHER GIRLS DO. THEY JUST DON’T. SO STOP IT. 

“400 episode ho gaye lekin anika abhi bhi yehi keh rahi hai ki SHIVAAAAY AAAP KYAAAA KAR RAHE HAI???”

i would laugh at the meta but i am too angry that you haven’t as much as made outttttttt yet. what the everlovingggg fuckkkkkkk. you ppl better bang before ep 500 so help me god. SO HELP ME GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ouffffff rudra, ever heard of personal space? you’re the worst. dafaaaa ho!

oh haaaaaaaaaai abhayyyyyy, you hotass demonchild. how you been???? actually, fuck you, where’s my girl tanya and how’s she been???? 

THIS IS LITERALLY DOODH AND JAM THAT HE’S FEEDING HER. LIKE.... IT’S ANNOYINGGGGG ME YOUGAIZ. IT’S ANNOYING ME SO MUCH. 

dayummmm, omki making sex eyes at wife. will i get my tharak fulfilled here first????? will omki shomki and chutki maarofy baazi first?!?!?! 

OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!! I JUST MIGHTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! 😯😯😯

OMG FUCK YOU RUDRA MAY YOU NEVER HAVE ANOTHER ORGASM IN YOUR LIFE EVER AGAIN YOU STUPID COCKBLOCKER 😡😡😡😡

lmaooooo om’s glee when rudra finally left. i love this idiot child so much. 

UGH BAATEIN?!?!?!!? WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT BAATEIN?????GET BACK TO THE MAKING OUTTTTTTTTTTTT YOU STUPID NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[ericbrandonrp]

SHIPPING INFO

Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog. REPOST. Don’t reblog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse?:  Each single one of my ships are my OTPs, tbh. They are all different.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?: Almost anything you like. I’m not a fan of pre-established relationships because there are so many things about Eric that I haven’t written up on his about page and that muses have to learn about - but what’s what he would tell a partner. Other than that, we can go with a lot of fluff (and a good portion of angst), friendships, one-night stands, whatever you like, really. Eric is a huge flirt, though, so beware.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?:  Personally I don’t like huge age gaps, but whatever. An absolute no-go is with a muse (and mun!!) under 18; everything above 21 is absolutely perfect. This is also Eric’s preference, btw.

Are you selective when shipping?: Not really. I’d like to say I am, but that wouldn’t be the truth. I ship with chemistry, which means that when our muses click, I will already ship it. What I absolutely don’t like is when someone chooses their muse to go straight for a ship. Eric will usually block it.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?:  The moment hands wander down south. Kisses are a-okay and not considered NSFW. Once any genitals are mentioned, I will tag it with NSFW (but not write it under a read more because srsly what’s the use of that? I don’t use any icons for explicit sex scenes).

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?: ...there are so many lol Just check out his ship page!

Does one have to ask to ship with you?: No. But I also don’t like to be asked because like I said I ship with chemistry. If someone comes into my inbox and I don’t know them and they go ‘hey wanna ship our muses’ then it’s a clear NO. Because? CHEMISTRY. I need them to interact. Sometimes it takes a bit longer for Eric to develop a crush and then work on it; sometimes he falls in love head over heels. Just like in real life.

How often do you like to ship?: Stupid question.

Are you multiship?:  Yes.

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?: Ship whore. I mean seriously look at my blog there is way too many ships there xD 

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?:  I’m in no fandom. Eric is fandomless, too.

Finally, how does one ship with you?:  Aaand another stupid question. Just ship it. We are both allowed to ship anything we like, as long as we don’t force it on the other. Yes, Eric loves women as much as he loves alcohol, and he will work on that and flirt with any female being that is crossing his path. I may ship it. But that doesn’t mean you have to like it or feel forced to do the same. If he flirts with your muse, and you are not comfortable with it, then let your muse slap him. Let them tell him to fuck off. Easy as that.

TAGGED BY: @the-storm-within-me TAGGING: @ophelia-hendrix @warrioroflondonbelow @a-kitten-with-claws @littlcstarling @mikahcastile @dysfunctionalmasons @xdiaryofavixen and whoever wants to