#but sometimes i am just bitter or angry or both

[he-on-honeydew-hath-fed]

.

[blugrlgroup]

How am I supposed to value myself when everyone I love or care for abandons me in the end

[goldsbitch]

remember that

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. But everyone need assurance that they are still loved sometimes. The first time Lando almost slept on a couch blurb

warning: couple fight, angst

It was bad. This time, it was really fucking bad.

After weeks of snarky comments being swallowed in, the "it's fine" line being burned into Lando's ears almost on a daily basis and growing minutes Y/N had to wait before Lando decided to respond to her texts, shit finally hit the fan.

They hadn't seen each other for two weeks now. Inevitable fight broke out right as he crossed the threshold. Postponed dates and forgotten dinners lined up. They couldn't help themselves and put it all on the table. First it was the fact she didn't smile upon seeing him, then it was a reminder that he promised to bring something from Italy and forgot. It went on and on and on. She sat at the dinning table, while he leaned over at the kitchen counter.

"Lando, sometimes it feels like I'm in a relationship with your assistant and not you! For heaven sake, this week I had to call him, once again, when I could not reach you. Do you know how embarrassing it is?" she half-screamed into her hands.

Lando took a breath so deep an average yoga teacher would be jealous. "How am I suppose to be expected to pick up on a race day. You know that I get super busy and distracted."

"Funny how you never were when we started dating," she murmured bitterly.

He had to turn away, couldn't watch his love giving up on him just because they were not in the honeymoon stage anymore. "Yes, but now I'm winning races! Closer to my dream that I've ever been. It's different now."

"I'm glad I met you back then, because obviously you'd not date me if we met now," she couldn't stop those words that rotted in her coming out.

A beat. Maybe it was time to actually break the rule for once and go to sleep angry, because it was getting out of hand. "You know what, that's probably true and it breaks my heart that once I start doing well, you're suddenly not the supporting girlfriend anymore."

A crushing blow. "Tell me how am I suppose to support you if you don't even answer my phone! We used to talk for hours!

"Maybe understand that I can't!"

"I do! But you can't assume that I'll let you push me away completely!"

Lando thew his hands up in desperation. How could she not see it? "I'm coming here to you whenever I have a slightest chance! And I come what? You constantly dragging me through the mud."

"Oh interesting you mention that. How sad that your assistant had to remind you of my sensitive skin before you having him book me an "apology mud massage" when you cancelled on me few weeks ago," se shot, knowing it would hit the target.

"How do you even know that!" he said, unable to comprehend that he did not even control his paid assistant, not mention his own life anyway.

"Well, I talk a lot to you assistant! And he slips up!" It was a weird friendship between people who both wished they could get a little more info out of Lando.

"That's it. I can't deal with this now," he said, with the intention to sleep on the couch for the first time in their relationship. He didn't even know why he chose that action, walking towards their bedroom and dramatically bringing a pillow and a blanket over to the sofa, but if this is what couples did when the fought, there must have been a reason for it.

It absolutely infuriated her. Sparked up something she hoped she'd never feel. "Oh, sleep tight." she spitted with bitter undertone.

"I will!"

//

They walked around each other in silence, him getting ready to sleep on the couch and her cutting her skincare short this time and spending more time debating whether to close the bedroom door as they usually would or leave it open. Just in case.

He could hear her shifting back and forth. It angered him a little bit, since he was the one playing a cruel joke on his already tired muscles.

Thousand things she wanted to say and only one came to her mind in a form of an actual sentence. There goes nothing. "Do you still feel good about this?"

"What?" he whispered, not expecting her to speak to him again before the next day.

"Nevermind, forget I asked."

"About what!" He hated when she did this. If you didn't catch up at the first moment, she did not give you a second chance.

"Do you still feel good about us, being together?" She cursed herself for asking this. Dangerous questions brought up explosive answers. She wished for a reassurance and a rejection. She snuggled deeper into her blanket and turned around to face the door. As if wishing for him to stand there and coming back to her.

Lando hated her question. In fact, it made him furious again. But it was a peace offering, he had already learned that before. "Even here, lying on the bloody couch, because we're fighting...It's the place I wanna be at."

Anxiety kicked in Y/N. "What, you mean like away from me?"

He laughed lightly. She was always thinking the worst. "No, silly. The exact opposite...We could both be at thousand different places at the moment. But we're not. And for me at least, it's because like---I want to be with you. I hate that we'd drifted apart lately. I'd love to be in bed with you, laughing without a care in the world, like we usually do. But, we can't do that now. And yet, I'd rather be left on the couch if I know you're next door than all alone in my bed." His words hit like small drops of rain after a long draught.

She whispered, choosing her words carefully. "You're my twin flame. You make my soul light up in fire, make me feel like I'm the sun. Do you know what my biggest fear is?"

Lando also tuned into sweeter tone, one that was more familiar from days filled with sunshine. "What, my love?"

"That we're gonna burn out. You and me, ending up like an epic love story. The good ones work because they end in tragedy."

"You're always so poetic," he smiled, proud to think he was her love story.

"There is no other way to describe how you'd changed my life. Flipped it upside down the moment you walked into the same room."

Lando chucked. "Yeah, remember that?"

"How could I not."

"You were not having a good day."

Finally, she spoke loudly again. "So, what? Everything was going to shit and the event we were doing had to be perfect before the 'important people' arrived".

"Such an ego boost to know I was your priority before you even met me," he uttered, happy to push her buttons.

"Oh, and you were so cocky! Just laughing around, like we were some sort of comedy sketch."

"Well, I'm sorry, have you heard yourself when you're upset? The way how your voice goes up seven octaves higher?" he laughed, his breath feeling lighter now.

"Coming from you, that's rich! You were giggling in a tone so high the elderly couldn't hear you!"

"I'm so happy I managed to bag the grumpiest person in the building. And bare in mind there must have been around 500 people there."

"980 if you could in staff as well."

He let out a heavy sigh. "You with your pristine memory."

She paused before responding. "Yes. Wish I didn't have that sometimes."

"Wish I had at least a pinch of that."

Silence fell in both rooms. Heavy breath and wondering eyes. The lack of their touch suddenly being more obvious than before. Playing a contest who will reach out first.

"Lando?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Can you back here, please?" she said, somewhat nervously. Lando took a pause. There was nothing he wished for more. It hurt to fight. But he figured a relationship needed that sometimes. As the poets say, you loose a woman when you forget to cherish her. He liked to think this went both ways. And they both started slacking a bit. He could only affect his own behavior, with the hope that she'd also come to the same understanding.

"I'd like nothing more in the world, my love."

[inuyashaluver]

Hi bestie, woso-vida here to formally request Alexia x Jenni x Reader 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

I'm thinking (playful) jealousy?? I'm thinking them both arguing who you'll be sitting beside on the bus?? I'm thinking them constantly trying to one up eachother in terms of romance??

Or yknow, whatever you'd like. I'll read everything from you 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

three’s a party - alexia putellas, jenni hermoso

alexia putellas x jenni hermoso x reader

description: in which your girlfriends are incredibly jealous of one another when it comes to your attention

warnings: i am not shipping - this is PURE FICTION, polyamory, let's pretend jenni is in barcelona for the sake of this, slight swearing - spanish is in bold italics!

a/n: i got excited to write this i won't lie, HAPPY AUGUST YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!! enjoy, my lovesssss, thank you so much for your support, love! this is so meh

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if there was anything to know about football players, they’re incredibly competitive. they are so competitive that it can sometimes develop into jealousy, envy and even bitterness.

and the two girls that embodied these qualities the most, just so happened to be your girlfriends.

the jealousy was playful most of the time, but sometimes it could really push your buttons.

—

jenni and alexia, your girls. they were obsessed with you. the two spaniards were so obsessed with you in fact, they don’t know how they went through life without you.

in the beginning stages, they were together for a relatively long time, and it was incredibly unexpected when you joined the equation.

the three of you just made sense. it was easy, familiar and just felt so right amongst all of you. it was your own little bubble, the way you all liked it.

it was private, not a secret, with no confirming nor denying when the question came up. you were all happy and that was all that mattered.

you’d now all been together for a little over 3 years and they were probably the most special and fun years of your lives. and within these three years, you learnt how competitive these girls really could be, especially when it came to you. 

—

“this is unbelievable, we are basically late” jenni curses under her breath, walking back and forth past a sleeping you and alexia as she attempted to find all your belongings needed for the day.

you and alexia’s fronts were pressed against each other, your head tucked under her chin, “you can’t sleep all day” jenni points out, much louder this time in attempts to wake you both up.

alexia’s arms were wrapped around you tightly, you were still sleeping against the older girl as alexia drifted in and out of her slumber.

“niñas (kids), we have training” jenni says pointedly, fighting the smile playing at her lips at how cute you both looked in this moment. you slowly stir against alexia, pressing your nose into her neck.

the other girl is fully awake now, her hands on instinct rubbing up and down your back soothingly. she chuckles in your ear tiredly as you curse out jenni.

“no” you grumble, holding onto alexia tightly as she tried to sit up, “yes” jenni mocks with a laugh, her hands on her hips as she watches you from the end of the bed.

“jen, she’s sleeping” alexia coos, leaning down to kiss your cheek repeatedly, you smile at her sleepily, “yeah, jenni” you giggle, letting alexia cup your cheek with one hand and pull you into a sweet kiss, waking you up even more.

jenni gaws at both of you, “no, that’s not fair! why does she get a kiss first?” she frowns, growing angry at seeing alexia smile into your mouth before she slips her tongue in.

you pull back for a moment, pecking her lips quickly, “because she’s in front of me” you grin, that’s when jenni loses it. jenni leaps onto the bed, quickly spinning you around and straddling your hips with hers, a wolfish grin making you chuckle, they were like children when it came to sharing.

“buenos días, mi amor (good morning, my love)” she sings out, winking at you cheekily, you can’t help but laugh at her, returning the greeting.

you look over at alexia next to you who just shrugs, shaking her head amusingly, clearly she wasn’t in the mood to fight over sharing just yet.

she kisses both of your foreheads, moving past both of you to the adjoining bathroom to begin getting ready for training. “it’s my turn” jenni says as she squeezes your cheeks, directing your head to look at her. you breathe out exaggeratingly, “come on then” you puckered up your lips jokingly, though, jenni is jenni. everything is serious.

she wasted no time pressing her lips to yours, making a quick effort to slip her tongue into your mouth and relished in the fact she pulled a hum from the back of your throat. someone was clearly trying to prove a point.

it was a lot easier now in your relationship ever since jenni returned to barcelona, she hated the short time apart when she was in mexico. 

“calm down, hermoso!” you breathe out a laugh, she hops off you with an accomplished smile, holding both your hands to pull you out of bed. “okay, get off me” she says cheekily, pushing you gently into the awaiting arms of alexia, the blonde currently brushing her teeth.

you laugh as alexia pulled you to her with one strong arm around your middle, you hug her back tightly around her waist. 

she smiles down at you, brushing her teeth with her free hand, swaying you gently from side to side, you could honestly fall asleep against her. “ale, tell her to get ready” jenni calls out from the kitchen, making you all a protein shake. 

alexia chuckles again, letting go of you for a second to give you your toothbrush. 

she now hugs you from behind, both of you smiling in the mirror as you look at each other through it. alexia is done first so she takes advantage of it. 

she kisses your shoulder sweetly, loving the way your cheeks filled with pink over her. “my beautiful bebé (baby)” she grins brightly, continuing her trail of kisses from your shoulder to your jaw, making you squirm from the ticklish sensation. 

“did you give jenni a kiss?” she mutters against your temple, absolutely loving to watch you get ready in the morning. “more like a make out” you chuckle, you spot alexia’s eyebrows furrow and that’s when she spins you around, pressing your back into the sink as she smiled at you. 

“then i should have one too” she wastes no time pulling you into a kiss, humming against you happily as your arms wound around her neck to pull her even closer, her hands finding home on your waist. 

“are you joking?” jenni groans, coming behind alexia to pull you both apart, “that’s not fair!” alexia exclaims, pushing jenni away from you as she tried to pull you into another kiss. 

—

situations like that were a daily occurrence, but they only grew tenfold when it came to national camps. the bus was your nightmare, and it wasn’t even an exaggeration. 

“sit in the window seat” alexia tells you, taking your bag from your hands as you all awaited to get on the bus. “ah, she’s sitting with me” jenni points out, pulling on your arm to launch you into her chest. 

you sigh heavily, you knew this would happen. “you said you would sit with me” alexia pouts slightly, gently pulling your other arm. you smile, “my loves, it’s a 20 minute bus ride” already knowing this would turn into a playful argument.

“but 20 minutes is 20 minutes” jenni scoffed, 

“you got to sit next to her on the way there last time!” alexia frowns, her arms crossed over her chest intimidatingly, “i did not! that was you, ale!” jenni defends, staring at alexia. 

you stand of the middle of both of them, clearly unimpressed, you look between both of them with a deadpan expression 

“bebé, who did you sit next to last time?” alexia asks you sweetly, her tone completely changing for you, jenni scoffs a laugh, though smiles at you gently awaiting your response.

“i sat next to jenni” you think, nodding at your response, alexia’s face brightens, looking at jenni smugly, the other girl frowning.

“princesa (princess), why did you tell her?” she groans, though smiles when you look at her in offence. “i’ve had enough of this, sit together, i’m sitting with leila” you tutt, walking over to the smiling girl waiting for you. this was clearly preplanned by you.

“you fucked up” alexia slaps jenni’s arm, “i did not!” jenni scoffs, picking up her back and walking to the bus. they walk past a laughing you and leila, slightly sad they weren’t the ones making you laugh. jenni plops down in the window seat and stares at you longingly, it takes everything to not look at her.

alexia suddenly remembers something, rummaging through her bag and finding one of your favourite protein bars she always kept for you. she smiles, rushing over to you before the bus moves off, tapping your shoulder sheepishly.

you smile at her sweetly, taking it from her appreciatively before pulling her down for a quick kiss, she pinches your cheek softly, winking at you before moving back to her seat.

jenni looks so grumpy when alexia comes back, “sit down” alexia says sternly, squeezing her knee when she was about to get up to go over to you. "that is so unfair" jenni grits out, though leans her thigh to press against alexia's.

they both bicker quietly back and forth before you turn around to wave at them, both of them perk up quickly and return to normal almost like nothing happened a few seconds prior.

—

during training, you three returned to your regular selves. during a small break, your sat with your back against jenni’s front, talking back and forth with misa and irene. you play with one of jenni’s hands, laughing brighting in the conversation with the other girls. 

when alexia plops next to you both, she smiles at you when you make eye contact and you already know she wants to cuddle with you. you turn around and kiss jenni’s cheek, she looks up at you confused, still in conversation. you make your way over to alexia, wrapping your arms around her shoulders from the back, kissing her cheek sweetly.

her hand comes up to hold your arm and she smiles brightly, though a little pink in the cheeks at how quickly you read her mind. “jealous?” you whisper in her ear in your knelt position, she chuckles lowly, hushing you with a pinch to your thigh resting on her side. 

“look how sad she got” misa chuckles, pointing at jenni, jenni makes an effort to get up slightly and flick her on the forehead, moving over to you, kissing you and alexia softly in turn before she got up to get some water. 

“go with her, bebé (baby)” alexia smiles, squeezing your arm reassuringly, you laugh, they really knew each other so well. “what a treat, mi amor (my love) is here!” jenni exclaims, cupping your cheeks and kissing your lips repeatedly, you both laugh into the kisses, so childish but really just so cute.

alexia watches you both with a smile, shaking her head fondly as she gets up to walk over to the both of you.

“happy?” alexia questions, jenni nods, giving alexia a kiss before picking her up and running around with her. alexia curses her out harshly, though laughs brightly when she saw you basically in stitches laughing at your girlfriends.

—

“princesa! (princess), look, i’m doing the dishes”, “bebé (baby), look i’m folding the laundry”, they both yell out when you come through the door with breakfast one morning.

“why are you both acting like i told you to do that? we all live here” you laugh, letting alexia help take the groceries and drinks out of your hands. "it is not a competition, i am both of your partners, and so are you" you remind.

“tsk, you should have let me come with you” alexia scolds, bringing you into a quick hug, “you’re so stubborn, hermosa (beautiful)” jenni scolds as well, patting the top of your head affectionately as you sit at the kitchen island.

“because i can do it myself” you roll your eyes, smiling when alexia presses a kiss to your cheek. “you’re around this one too much” jenni says smugly, winking at alexia with a flirty smile.

“and you’re not stubborn?” alexia springs into action, moving her chair closer to yours as jenni looks at you both from the other side of the island. “do not even start on me right now, putellas” jenni laughs, alexia turns to you immediately, “bebé- (baby)”.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you know the drill - pretend it's you! ily oni

liked by ireneparedes4 and 44,232 others

alexiaputellas: she just always has to come into the hug

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jennihermoso: how funny, i was thinking the same about you!

↳ alexiaputellas: watch it

yourname: my girls!!

↳ alexiaputellas: my girl

↳ jennihermoso: my girlll

↳ marialeonn16: you are all ridiculous xxxx

[venerawrites]

sfw and nsfw headcanons Victor x scientist!fem!reader 🙏🙏🙏

author's note: I finally have the chance to write for Viktor and I am so happy about it! Thank you so much for your patience and your request! Hope you enjoy! x

warnings: 18+ content: MINORS DNI

➤ SFW

Match made in heaven!

Seriously tho, I don't really see him with someone who is NOT a scientist. Mainly, because his job is practically his life, but also because I think that getting close to someone he is working with, is the most probable way for him to fall in love.

With that being said, your love life and work life would practically be the same thing. You will be together from morning till evening, working on the Hextech and trying to figure out different ways to incorporate it into your experiments.

As his lover, of course, your main priority is to find a way to help Viktor and better his health. Despite him being against it at first, due to his worry that you may get hurt in the process, eventually, he lets you help him.

Your work is often transferred from your lab to your home, and sometimes it can cause bitter arguments between you.

While Viktor is very calm and collected as a lover, but when it comes to scientific debates or arguments about work, he is extremely stubborn. He likes his way of work, and while usually, he is open to other opinions, he doesn't take it lightly if you boldly say "you are wrong".

He doesn't like arguing tho, so while he may be very passionate in the first 10 minutes or so, eventually he will go outside to get some fresh air and calm down before he comes back and apologizes.

This man acts so reserved, but he is a BIG SOFTIE! In the name of peace he is ready to say sorry even when he is right, so please don't be mean to him! (He honestly deserves the world!)

Loves to make stuff with you. It doesn't always have to be Hextech projects, sometimes he enjoys making small trinkets or toys, or just anything really, as long as he can spend some peaceful time with you.

Reading has always been a hobby of his, but since he met you, one of his favourite things to do is read to you. Before bed; while you are out on a date in the park; while travelling... And you love it too, as I can promise you, there is no sound more soothing than Viktor's voice!

Honestly, I don't think he is romantic. If anything, he is extremely smart academically, but when it comes to emotions... let's just say he is awkward. Any dates, gifts, or romantic gestures are mainly planned/made by you.

Not into PDA either, BUT will hold your hand while you are outside and sometimes place a sweet peck on your lips. In private, however, he will be more relaxed and while he will be a bit shy at the beginning of your relationship, soon he will relax and will even initiate intimacy.

BIG SUCKER FOR HUGS!

Again, he will do it mainly in private, but for him your arms just feel like HOME. No matter how stressed or angry he is, once you hold him in your embrace, he will forget every worry that has been troubling his mind.

He may not be the most open or easy partner, but he loves you to death. So please, please, be patient and gentle with him!

➤ NSFW

Not gonna lie, sometimes it baffles me when I see someone describe Viktor as some sex machine/kinky man, because... HOW? WHERE? WHEN?

If anything, I don't think sex ever excited him much. He had probably one girlfriend in his life before meeting you and even then, he was way more interested in studying and spending time in the lab than rolling in the sheets with someone.

He is the type to make love, rather than fuck.

At some point in your relationship, after you both felt comfortable enough with each other, lovemaking would definitely be one of his favourite ways to show you how much you mean to him.

Usually sex with him is slow and sensual, with a lot of quiet grunting, sweet whispers, eye contact, and holding hands.

He is not super vocal, but would always mutter in your neck or ear "I love you" and "You feel so good, God!".

(Likes it when you are loud tho, it definitely boosts his ego a bit!)

Due to his health, he is not really into rough sex, neither he has the stamina or the energy to perform it. Still, if you are somewhat of a freak in the bedroom, he will reluctantly agree to try using toys or tie you up while pleasuring you.

Speaking of pleasure...

So good at oral! I don't think he even realises it, as he was very embarrassed the first time he buried his head between your thighs, but he definitely has a natural talent for it!

As I said above, he is not into PDA, let alone trying intimacy ANYWHERE outside your bedroom, BUT with a bit of begging, whining, and assuring him at least 10 times the door is locked, he will let you climb on his desk and spread your legs before him. The combination of his tongue and fingers is guaranteed to make you see stars!

He also enjoys receiving, but for some reason always feels embarrassed and shy, so he doesn't let you do it often. Again you either have to beg him for it or he has to feel extra stressed to let you do it.

Your usual sex position is missionary, as he loves being able to stare at your face and it also gives him control, without excessive movements, but he also enjoys you riding him. Not only is the least painful for his leg and back but he also loves watching your tits bounce.

Even tho as a man of culture he appreciates BOTH your tits and your ass.

When it comes to aftercare, he is very gentle and to be honest, often more tired than you. He enjoys you pampering him and showering him with affection.

cc artwork: "Arcane" Concept Art

[zorrasucia]

Teach Me Tonight - Part 7

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Deleted Scene] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] Part 7: [Deleted Scene] [Part 8]

Reader x Carmy Berzatto (The Bear FX)

Rating: Explicit (3k)

Tags: Smut, Set sometime after the opening of The Bear, Porn with a little plot, Virgin!Carmy, Fluff, Miscommunication, Angry Sex, Nightmares, Domesticity, Morning Sex, Mutual Masturbation, Both Carmy and Reader have a bit of a praise kink

Summary:

Glimpses of every day life and sharing an apartment with Carmy.

"I'm sorry, okay? I am! I won't use your ingredients without asking- just- please calm the fuck down!"

Your small argument from closing time had escalated on the way home to the point where you were screaming at each other by the time you slammed the apartment door behind you and followed Carmy to the bedroom. You had fought before, of course you had. But this was probably the worst one so far.

Carmy stood on the opposite corner of the room, hands on his hips, breathing heavily.

"Do you know how fucking expensive imported black garlic is?"

"I don't, but I have the feeling you're going to tell me," you spat, petty, the whole sentence leaving a bitter taste inside your mouth. You backtracked."I'm sorry. I'll pay for it, okay?" you tried to appease him even as your blood was boiling. "Listen, when I moved in, I was ready to make some compromises. I downsized my closet, I sold some furniture-"

"I didn't ask you to do any of that," Carmy interrupted you.

"Carm," you gave him a stern look. "I'm only saying that you could be more understanding about shit like this. We share the fridge and the pantry. I'm sorry I assumed I could use the stuff inside without asking, it will not happen again," you repeated, then inhaled deeply. "Just- I can't help feeling this isn't about that."

Carmy looked red in the face, angry like you had only seen him inside the kitchen, pacing and flexing his fingers. You couldn't believe he was actually losing his shit so severely over a steak and some garlic - even if it was a super expensive steak and black garlic.

He looked at the ceiling. "It is about you touching my shit without asking. It is about you leaving your things on the kitchen table when I need it to work-" he clenched his jaw. "I'm sick and tired of not knowing where anything is in my own fucking apartment!"

You had organized the closet to fit your stuff, and  put Carmy's vintage denim and your bigger dresses in storage. You still had to get a desk for your sewing machine and work stuff, in the meantime it had stayed on the kitchen table, which, in your defense, had remained unused for most of your stay.

"Why didn't you say anything?" you asked in exasperation. "I've been living here for three weeks! You could have said something instead of bottling it up until it was-" you gestured vaguely in his direction, "whatever this is!"

"I like you being here, I didn't want to scare you off!" Carmy groaned.

"Carm, did you think I would leave if we didn't agree on where the shirts are supposed to go?"

He shrugged. "Dunno. Dunno!"

"You can tell me things, Carm!" you crossed the room until he was close enough to touch. His eyes looked like the sky before a storm. "You can tell me anything."

"Then why are you so fucking mad?" he said defiantly.

"Because I don't like when you yell at me like I'm just another chef in your fucking kitchen," you said, it was something you had been keeping quiet since your fight started. "I'm not getting paid to put up with this shit."

It struck Carmy completely quiet. And you regretted it the moment it left your lips. You had almost found some middle ground and you had trampled all over it. He took a step closer and stared at you, his eyes dark and angry, the space between you felt charged.

Before you knew what was going on, he grabbed you by the back of the neck and kissed you roughly, biting on your lips, mouth wide open. You pressed on his chest with your hands - you were still too mad at him. But his hands were strong and his tongue was relentless and you could feel yourself getting wet from the mixture of anger and lust - and who knew those two emotions were so close to each other?

"Fuck, I can stop," he said, barely separating his lips from yours, breathing hard. "You want that?"

You pulled on his shirt, bringing him towards you, kissing him back with just as much fervor. Then, using that same grasp, you moved him to the edge of the bed and pushed him hard, his curls bouncing as he fell on his back.

"I want you to fucking apologize, Carmen," you climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. You leaned over and trapped his wrists with your hands, above his head. Even putting all your strength into it, he could wiggle himself free at any moment, but he didn't; he stayed down and looked at you hungrily.

"I'm sorry," he said, a little too cocky for your taste, a smirk barely hidden on the side of his face.

You ground your hips against his, feeling his cock harden underneath you. He rolled his eyes and arched his neck. He looked beautiful, like a marble statue.

"What was that?" you asked, stopping your movement abruptly and getting close to his face.

He whined. "I'm sorry," and it sounded more truthful this time.

"Mhmm, that's more like it."

You kept holding both of Carmy's wrists with one hand, while the other moved downward, going underneath his shirt and playing with his nipple, massaging and pinching gently until he closed his eyes and hummed in bliss. Then you stopped.

"Fuck you," he said, letting out some leftover venom from your fight. 

You smirked - why was this so hot?

You got your answer immediately after, when Carmy got free and turned you over, fast and aggressive, like he rarely was in the bedroom. He caged you with his arms and legs, all taut muscle and shaking breaths.

"What about you?" he said, his voice low.

"What about me?" you tilted your head. "I apologized like ten times, Carm. And I meant it."

"You said some fucked up things just now," his breath tickled your face as he studied you from every angle, like he was a wild animal and you were his prey.

"I did," you admitted. You arched your neck, trying to get close and... What? Kiss him? Bite him? You weren't sure. He put one hand on your throat, not quite a caress, closing his tattooed fingers around it. You squeezed your thighs together, blood flowing with need. "I meant some of that too."

"Which part?"

"That I don't like when you yell at me," you said honestly, the moment a little cheapened with how horny you sounded.

"That all?" Carmy's voice had turned hoarse from screaming and you wished you didn't find it so attractive.

"Yeah," you exhaled.

"Good," he said dryly and got up, freeing you, but you remained immobile.

Suddenly, he yanked hard on your jeans and underwear, leaving you bare in seconds.

"Fuck, Carmy."

You hated how needy you sounded, how wrecked you felt as he licked his hand and finally put his fingers inside you, how good he was at making you crumble... You let out a pleading and pathetic sound as he touched your clit roughly and finger fucked you a little too hard.

Then, he took his fingers out without a warning, leaving you empty and out of breath; his hands ghosted the insides of your thighs. You grabbed at his wrist, begging to be touched again. Carmy climbed on the bed instead, hovering above you, kissing you ferociously.

"Eager?" he teased when you started raising your hips to rub on his jeans.

"Impatient," you replied, trying to wind him up.

It worked - his eyes darkened again.

"Hands above your head," he ordered and you obeyed. He took your shirt off carelessly, your bra was almost spilling out with how forceful he was being but he didn't bother taking it off. The whole thing was angry, urgent, and so fucking hot. Carmy was undoing his belt and you used the pause to scoot backwards, just enough to reach your bedside table.

"Hurry the fuck up!" You threw a condom at him, hitting him square on the face.

Carmy gave you a look that was half exasperation, half amused lust. He unbuttoned his jeans just enough to take his cock out, then threw the empty wrapper back at you. He grabbed your legs and dragged you closer, forcefully, the duvet wrinkling underneath you.

"I swear I'm gonna-"

You didn't let him finish. You fisted the collar of his t-shirt and brought him down to kiss, biting on his lower lip, then soothing with your tongue. You opened your legs wide and tugged at the belt loops of his jeans - there was something arousing about him being almost completely clothed and you being almost naked.

"Fuck me, please, fuck me," you begged into his mouth, way past any sense of pride you had at the beginning of the fight. Carmy wasn't any better, rushing to obey the moment you said it.

"Fucking need it," he groaned as he entered you. It wasn't clear if he was talking about you or him - not that you had time to think about it before he started pounding into you. You felt every inch of Carmy's cock as it went in and out.

"So fucking good," you rasped to the side of his face. It spurred him on and made him go faster and harder - your moans got louder and louder. He covered your mouth with his hand.

"The fucking mouth on you," he mumbled low. You clenched your pussy in retaliation and watched as he rolled his eyes and lost his rhythm. "Holy shit, you're gonna kill me."

You ran your hands under his shirt, tracing the contour of his muscles, feeling them quiver and strain as Carmy tried his damnedest to keep going, one hand on the mattress and the other keeping you quiet. Part of you smiled in satisfaction knowing he was getting tired and wouldn't last.

"Shit. Fuck me," he whined and stopped for a moment, sweating and panting. He finally uncovered your mouth, conceding defeat.

"Want me to take over?" you asked with a chuckle.

Carmy sighed and fell on the mattress beside you. "Still mad at you," he said, the sound pitiful with how hard he was breathing.

"Good to know," you climbed on top of him, straddling, lowering yourself on his cock, making him arch his back with pleasure. "I'm still mad too."

You rode him mercilessly, your hips slamming against his, hands on his chest, his eyes marveling at the bounce of your breasts. You took him right to the edge and left him hanging, the veins of his neck bulging as he groaned in frustration.

You clicked your tongue, swaying gently. "Not coming until I do."

"Yeah?" he arched his eyebrows, taking the challenge for what it was.

His hand moved from gripping your hip to where your bodies connected, his thumb finding your clit and caressing it. Your legs shook involuntarily, a spark going through you.

He grinned.

"Oh, fuck you," you sighed, your neck arched, looking at the ceiling while you bounced on his cock. He knew just what he was doing - making you tremble and moan with every gentle touch.

"Come on," he urged you, meeting your thrusts, fucking into you, hitting your G spot almost by mistake.

"Fuck," you gasped, biting your lip to stop from screaming.

You rode him much faster, something desperate and feral taking over you. Carmy's eyes widened when your walls started fluttering around his cock.

"Are you-? Can I-?" he asked in a choked out voice.

"Yes, yes," you managed to say, squeezing the wrist of the hand that was touching your clit so deliciously as your orgasm started taking over every one of your senses. "Yes, Carmy."

He tensed underneath you, flushed all over, eyes closed, and his lips forming a beautiful 'O'. You stared, waiting patiently for him to open his eyes.

He looked up at you, soft, grateful, a smile curling his lips.

"C'mere," he beckoned you downwards, meeting you with relieved kisses, breathy laughter filling the space between you. He caressed your back, tugging on your bra straps until you were somewhat covered again. The tenderness of the gesture warmed you all over.

"You okay?" Carmy asked and you nodded, nuzzling your nose against his in the process. A pause. "Hey. I am sorry. I was angry and-"

"I know," you fixed his hair, all sweaty and sticking on his forehead. "I'm sorry too."

He kissed your shoulder lovingly.

"I like you being here," he said. "I just- I need time to figure it out. That okay?"

"Yeah," you traced the line of his nose with your finger. "We'll figure it out together, baby."

You kissed him sweetly and he rolled you over to your side.

"I'll go to the thrift store tomorrow," you said, cupping his face. "Buy a desk and shit."

Carmy smiled. "I'll fix the pantry. Put labels on my shit. Make room for your things."

"I think that's the most romantic thing you've said to me," you joked, giggling when he tickled your sides.

"Shut the fuck up!"

He laughed with you, leaving kisses on your face and throat.

~

You woke up to the sound of Carmy talking in his sleep. Most of it was gibberish, quiet mumbles as he thrashed on the bed, the one word you could make out was 'Mikey' - over and over. He winced and let out a pained sound. You got closer and held him, your arm across his chest.

You knew he had nightmares, you'd been there for a couple of them, but sleeping every night with him meant you saw much more of it. It broke your heart how many you had missed, how bad he hurt...

"It's okay, Carmy," you soothed softly. "I'm here, baby, it's okay."

He woke up with a startle, breathing fast.

"Fuck, sorry," he sat up and ran his hands over his face. "Bad dream."

"I know," you waited for him to settle, giving him space.

After a while, he laid back next to you. You moved slowly, gently, touching the side of his face and caressing his hair, calming him down.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Uh," Carmy looked up at the ceiling, blinking hard, "there was a fire. Just so much smoke," he cleared his throat. "And, uh, Mike was there." There was a long pause. "Did I ever tell you he planned to set the restaurant on fire?"

"What?" you froze.

He hummed. "To cash the insurance money, you know," he reached for your free hand, intertwining your fingers and bringing them close to his chest; his heart was pounding.

"I'm sorry, Carm," you waited for him to say something but he stayed silent, vacant. "It feels so weird that I never met him."

"Probably for the better, to be honest," he said dryly. There was something dark about the way he said it.

"Hey," you squeezed his hand, trying to ground him. "What'd you like about him?"

"About Mike?" he said looking at you. "Uh- He was warm. He told the best stories, took care of Nat and me, gave the best hugs... A real big brother, you know?"

You nodded.

"Started getting tattoos because of him," he said, flexing his hands to show the ink on them. "He was so cool, and I wanted to be that."

"I think you're pretty cool," you said sweetly, kissing his knuckles.

"Thanks," he said through a sad smile. "Richie says he was all wrong by the end of it..."

"Wrong how?"

"He wasn't warm anymore, he was, uh, like a fryer fire, I guess. His stories didn't make sense. Kept forgetting shit. A mess, you know?"

"Maybe that's why he pushed you away," you said softly. You knew Carmy felt guilty for his time in New York. "He wanted you to remember him like he was before."

"Maybe," he conceded, looking up at the ceiling.

You stayed like that for a while, caressing his arm, tracing lines on his skin.

"Would you-" he said, then stopped.

You turned to face him. "Yes?"

"Would you hold me?" Carmy asked, his blue eyes open and vulnerable.

"Of course," you smiled and shifted on the bed to spoon him, his back to your chest, your arms around him, leaving gentle kisses on his shoulder blade. You could feel his heartbeat settle as he went back to sleep.

"Love you, Carm," you said right before you drifted off.

~

You woke up to the feeling of Carmy kissing your face softly. You hummed, content. When you opened your eyes, the bright light of late morning was all over your bedroom.

"Didn't hear you coming in last night," you said, your voice raspy with sleep.

"Got in late. Bad day," he raised his hand to touch your hair, staring at the way it caught the light. "Nat forced me to take today off."

"That bad?" you asked, a little concerned.

Carmy moved his fingers to the worry lines on your face, soothing.

"Not really. Someone talked about work life balance in her last Al-family meeting and she's all about that shit right now," he smiled. You loved to see how he looked soft with sleep, relaxed for a little while.

"Have I told you I really like her?"

"You might have," he said playfully, then leaned over to kiss you. It was a gentle thing, his lips lazy on yours and his body flushed as he hugged you.

You took his shirt off, not out of lust, just wanting to get more warmth from his skin on yours. You slowly started kissing his tattoos. You liked the ones on his arms and hands; they were familiar, whenever you thought of Carmy it was the image you conjured. But you loved his other tattoos, the ones nobody else saw, the secrets he kept and only shared with you. You left kisses on his shoulder and his chest, running your fingers on the ink on his ribs and right above his hip bone.

"I've missed you, Carm," you confessed.

It had been a hectic couple of weeks. You had barely seen each other, mostly just sleeping on the same bed, saying good night and good morning before each of you left for work.

"Missed you too," he replied.

His hands roamed your body, tugging gently at the fabric of your sleep shirt, helping you out of it, all while kissing you. You melted in his arms, pliant as he rolled you over and started leaving pecks on your skin.

"Carmy," you sighed. His lips left imprints on your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, and your chest. He stayed there, kissing the top of your breasts, the side, the valley between them, and your nipples. Your pulse was racing and you wondered whether he could feel it with his mouth.

"You're so soft," he said, his exhale giving you goosebumps. "Smell so nice."

"You smell nice too, baby," you giggled. Carmy's hair still had a lavender-like scent from his night shower.

"Mmm..."

He kept kissing. Your belly, your hip, the wrinkle that formed between your mound and your thigh. There was something so like devotion in the way that he moved; it wasn't about filling some selfish need to get his dick wet, he wanted you to feel loved.

"C’mere," you called him back up, to kiss his lips fervently, your hands buried in his hair. When you parted, he smiled, his eyes were still sleepy. He looked so comfortable, so soft...

Your hand traced again that tattoo on his hip, then moved downward, to the hair on his navel, and lower, touching him over his boxers. He was half hard, his nose buried in your neck. When he groaned, his chest rumbled against yours.

"So nice," he said. "’m too fucking tired to fuck you like you deserve, though."

Your free hand caressed the back of Carmy's neck, holding him closer.

"Just want you to relax, make you feel good," you whispered, moving the hand on his cock back and forth, slow, loving.

He moaned, then shifted a little on the bed. You didn't realize why he was moving until his hand snaked its way inside your shorts.

"Oh," you squirmed a little at the feeling of his fingers.

"Too cold?" Carmy asked.

"No, it's okay," you leaned to kiss him. "It's okay," you repeated.

You kept on touching and kissing, everything in that sort of clumsy haze, one of your legs over his. You needed this: being with him without the rush of being late, no urgency, no fucking as fast as you could before Carmy had to run to the restaurant. You had all the time in the world - you could count the freckles on his face and stare at the blue in his eyes as he mumbled sweet nothings into the morning air.

His free hand touched your wrist, guiding it to the head of his cock, the sluggish rhythm you had set just enough to make him roll his eyes and kiss you hard, drowning a whine against your lips as he released.

"Love you so much," Carmy mumbled.

You kissed the side of his face. "I love you, I love you," your voice came out choked and high.

Without you noticing, the constant massaging between your folds had built up too. You came with a long exhale, closing your eyes for a moment, lightly squeezing his side.

"Wanna stay here forever," he said after a while of just looking at you and caressing your back.

"Just sleeping and fucking all day," you replied tiredly.

"I'd like that."

~

[Deleted Scene]

[Part 8]

~

@th3h0nkz @faephoria @wadupppp

[nishik1]

bittersweet \\ Nishimura Riki

synopsis: being in a relationship with Nishimura Riki was never easy, but you still made it work.

pairing: idol niki x non idol fem!reader

genre: light angst to fluff

warnings: reader is a bit mean, slight arguing, cursing,?

a/n: a short fic to make up for the lack of updates in “you jealous, nishimura” 😭 this kinda sucks so please don’t be disappointed

wc: roughly 1.4k (NOT PROOF READ)

you awoke to the sounds of knocking on your bedroom window. what the hell..? furrowing your brows as you make your way over to the window. lazily you throw open the curtains and your eyes widen for a second as you process who is waiting outside of your window.

“Riki..? what are you doing here?” you said in disbelief as you stare at the boy who stands beneath your bedroom window with his hands on his knees, hunched over as he tries to catch his breath.

“please just— let me in first—” he says breathlessly. you stare at him for a second before letting out a sigh. hesitantly, you open your window further and lean out just enough for him to grab onto your arms and pull himself up. his eyes light up when you reach to him, he immediately grabs onto your arms and comes tumbling into your room.

theres a moment of silence as you watch him sit on the floor of your bedroom, still trying to catch his breath.

“so… are you gonna tell me why you’re here or are you just gonna sit there?” you cross your arms over your chest, slight annoyance present im your tone. Riki feels his heart clench at your tone, you only ever talked to him like that when you’re angry with him.

“I came to explain myself” you let out a bitter chuckle as you narrow your eyes at him.

for context, you and Riki had a date today. In fact it was supposed to be your first date in a while since Riki’s been quite busy being an idol and all. you both had decided to go to this new restaurant which opened recently, your date was scheduled for 7:30. you had arrived on time but Riki? Riki never came at all. you had messaged him multiple times only to get no reply, hence why you were mad at him. you waited for 2 hours straight and he never showed and now he’s here in your bedroom?

“seriously, Riki? that’s all you came here to do?” he frowns at this, he could tell in your eyes that you’re annoyed and angry with him. I mean who wouldn’t be? he showed up in the middle of the night unannounced.

“I know I should’ve told you—“

“you should have just told me the moment you found out you were going to be busy!” your voice cracked slightly as you inhaled sharply before continuing

“Riki you and I barely get to spend any time together anymore and the one day we actually had plans to see each other, you flaked on me!” you said feeling more hurt than angry, the two barely got to see each other with how busy he was but today he was supposed to be free.

“I know and I’m sorry… I never wanted to flake on you but we had to do some filming today and—“

“Riki I don’t want to hear it, It’s been like this for months. we never get to see each other anymore and whenever we think we might have time you always get busy with something!”

“I know that and I’m sorry for that too but I can’t help it if my schedule changes. I’m an idol, Y/N. It’s my job and sometimes this is what idols have to do. I know I don’t have as much free time as I used to but I have to do these things, they’re important to my career!”

“what about me? am I not important?” both of your eyes widen at this and you saw hurt flash through his eyes. you didn’t mean to say it, you didn’t want to say it, it just slipped out.

“I never said that.” he grits his teeth in annoyance. though he was annoyed he was also hurt. he was hurt that you thought you didn’t matter to him, of course you matter to him, you’re his girlfriend!

“no but you implied it. Riki you never make time for me anymore!” you run your fingers through your hair, feeling frustrated with everything going on.

“god why are you like this? my whole life can’t revolve around you, this is my job Y/N!” he raises his voice slightly. you inhale sharply and you pull your gaze off of him and to the wall behind him.

“I never said it had to revolve around me. all I’m asking for is for you to just make an effort to see me.” you lower your head as you feel your tears betray you and begin well up in your eyes.

please not now. you can’t cry. not now. you think to yourself, digging your nails into your palm.

you had been feeling like this for so long, feeling as if you didn’t matter to him. at the beginning of your relationship, everything was good. you were both happy and saw each other almost everyday. well that was until the group Riki was in began to grow more and more popular. the dates which you used to have daily started to happen less and less. it went from daily, to every other day, to weekly and eventually to none at all.

it started to feel as if you were no longer relevant in his life, like you no longer mattered to him. you were angry and his words only fueled your anger more. you’ve been bottling up these feelings, trying to ignore and hide them as best as you can but its starting to become too much to bare.

“you think I don’t try? I’ve—“ thats it. this was your breaking point. his harsh words finally pushed you to your limit.

“well it doesn’t seem like you fucking try! Riki I can’t take it anymore, can’t you see how draining this is for me?” one by one hot tears began to trickle down your cheeks as you finally let out the feelings you had been keeping in for so long. his eyes immediately soften as all the anger he had towards you dissolved into guilt.

“oh Y/N… I’m so sorry.” he cups your face with his hand, gently wiping your tears as you lean into his touch. how long has he been hurting you for? how long have you felt like this? how can he make it up to you? would you even forgive him? a million questions raced through Riki’s mind as he pulled you into a tight hug, resting his chin atop your head as a few tears escaped his eyes.

“I’m sorry too… its just— i miss seeing you in person. i miss your hugs, I just miss you... i’m tired of seeing you through a screen.” his heart clenches at your words as you mumble into his chest, your breathing uneven from crying.

“I’m sorry, I’ll try to make more time for you i swear. my schedules just been so packed lately, i was supposed to be free today but they needed us to—“

“its okay, you don’t have to explain— just… just stay with me.” you bury your face in his chest, hugging him as if this was the last time you’d ever be able to. your tears betrayed you as they began to drip onto his shirt.

he badly wanted to tell explain what happened and why he was unable to attend your date today but he knew that all you needed right now, was for him to stay. to stay and make up for all of the lost time you two could’ve had together, to stay and comfort you the way he should’ve before and most of all, to stay and show you that he loves you.

“I’ll stay with you as long as you want me to.” you felt your heart sting at his words, but not in a bad way. in more of a “i love you so much but i’m still mad at you” way.

you shut your eyes tightly trying to prevent any more tears from falling. you’re not even fully sure if your tears are happy or sad ones perhaps both?

“I love you..” your voice is quiet but still loud enough to hear as you raise your head from his chest. teary eyes locking with his, Riki’s gaze softens at you as he brings his hand to your cheek caressing it gently.

“I love you too”

its the moments like these which remind you of why you fell in love with Nishimura Riki. with Riki, disagreements dissolve into peaceful silence and all you can feel is the comfort of resting in his embrace, where worries melt away and all that is left is love. it’s moments like these which make you fall in love with him all over again.

you think you’ll forever adore the moments like these, even if they’re bittersweet.

taglist: @rksbae @lizzyyaaaaaa @berry-and-kkami @chaewon-slays @solstramaii @infi0 @beomgyusonlywife @misoxhappy @ramenoil

[francis-writes]

could you write something about Feyd and Rabban competing for reader's affection?

It's a dream scenario... at least until you actually partake in it. None of Harkonnen brothers is willing to give up and they both are able to almost everything to gain advantage.

(By the way, in this scenario they both fell for you, but it would be possible that one seduces you just to piss off the other; it would be more likely that Feyd tries to win over Rabban's crush just to assert his dominance. Or perhaps Rabban tries to take Feyd's partner to get a revenge for Arrakis and also to at least this time not be the second, worse brother)

They are both rather straightforward but still their methods are a bit different.

Feyd would be more subtle and strategic. He would observe and listen to you to find out what you like and to know more about you. All these informations help him to give you things you may like or to randomly mention some facts you told him to prove that he cares. He doesn't hide his intention to seduce you but he's more subtle in his approach. He tries to use his charm and sweet words to convince you to him. He also invites you to watch his fights because he also wants to impress you with his fighting skill (and he would be happy if you enjoyed the murder as much as him). Feyd is likely to send servants to observe you and tell him what you're doing, whom you're meeting and what you're talking about (as i said, he has yandere tendencies). If there's a need, he will try to manipulate you into a relationship.

Not saying that Feyd's methods are much better but Rabban is more honest. Or simply not concerned with subtlety nor formalities. He tries to impress you by showing his strength and bragging about his power. He spoils you with gifts, not necessarily connected with your interests, he rather chooses things representing luxury and wealth he can give you. He may get a bit touchy - nothing too far but Rabban often puts his hand around your waist or on your thigh or he randomly lifts you up to show his strength (i am sorry, me and my friends sometimes lift each other for fun but now i imagined that considering size difference with Rabban it may look like that scene from lion king and it's too funny. I may draw it one day). He also wants to suggest that he can make you happy but uhhh idk if talking about his previous romances (with all intimate details) is a good way to do it.

Their rivalry goes on behind your back as well and it's even more ruthless. They threaten each other both with violence and blackmailing, there's also perhaps a few physical fights.

At one hand, they both often make sure that you aren't alone with the other. At the other hand, you can't spend time with them both at once because of the tension. They try to stay calm and make good impression but sooner or later (usually sooner) there starts a little squabble. They start mentioning each other failures or embarassing memories. After some time Rabban can't control himself and starts yelling, meanwhile Feyd-Rautha looks coldly at him as if he barely holded himself back from murdering Glossu.

By the way, of course Baron would quickly notice this competition but he wouldn’t interfere as long as the situation isn't out of control and as long as brothers' fight for your feelings doesn't disrupts his plans. Moreover, he may even use this occasion to turn them against each other even more and manipulate, perhaps promising help in winning your affection.

No matter which one you choose, the other one is P I S S E D. Probably they won't try again after you rejected them and hurt their pride (unless...?). Rabban will just be bitter and angry seeing you with his brother, he may start avoiding you or lash out when you meet. Feyd-Rautha on the other hand will just claim that you have bad taste and it's your loss, but he still becomes cold and distant. He may plot a way to take a revenge on you.

Also, you can't choose both. Both are pretty possesive and wouldn't share you, especially with each other. And if you don't want any of them? You are fucked. They reconcile temporarily just to get a revenge on you for rejecting them.

[notallrobots]

i couldn’t stop thinking about toxic starnerve after watching that scrapped storyboard… the one where fear tries to FUCKING MURDER joy. omg.

i’m not super happy with my art at the moment (just want to improve my interpretations of the characters , you know how it be). but i really wanted to make an song / plot analysis of this storyline, using the song New Magic Wand by Tyler the Creator.

song analysis / au explanation (is it an au, if this is how Inside Out was originally going to go? 😳 ) below ⬇️

song lyrics in bold, plot connection in italics. :3

Sometimes you gotta close a door to open a window

Fear feels as though Headquarters would be better off without Joy’s strong-arming. The other emotions agree with him to a degree, but are highly against his plot to kick Joy out of Headquarters forever. So he develops an evil plot in secret.

I saw a photo, you looked joyous

My eyes are green, I eat my veggies

Fear is highly jealous of Joy’s strong, loving connection with Riley, both from a parental standpoint (He feels as though he cannot influence Riley positively with Joy in the way), and a possessive one (Fear harbors romantic feelings for Joy but cannot properly express them. He feels as though bringing these feelings out into the open would jeapordize Riley’s well-being. So his surpressed affections and attraction to Joy manifest as resentment, bossiness, envy, and, at a certain point, rage).

I need to get her out the picture She's really fuckin' up my frame

Fear is angry that Joy tries to take such extreme control of Riley’s emotions, bitter that he may not ever have the relationship that he wants with Joy, and his jealousy influences his ability to properly do his job. He starts growing more erratic, crass, and temperamental. The other emotions begin to take notice.

She's not developed like we are

Fear tries to convince the other emotions that Joy is a liability in Headquarters, because she cannot stop herself from taking total control of the console most of the time. The others agree (especially Anger, who craves justice and feels as though Joy’s control is teeming on the edge of dictatorship), but only to a certain point.

Like magic, like magic, like magic, gone New magic, new magic, new magic wand

Fear starts to drive himself crazy with the idea of expelling Joy from Headquarters.

My brother said I'm on the spectrum Don't call me selfish, I hate sharin' This 60/40 isn't working I want 100 of your time, you're mine

The other emotions are disturbed by this conflict, even though much of it manifests through passive aggression on Fear’s part, at least in the beginning. Fear desires more influence of both Riley and Joy. And he wants Joy to himself.

Please don't leave me now Please don't leave me now (don't leave)

Ayo, take one look in the mirror, implications so clear I live life with no fear, except for the idea that one day you won't be here

Fear is very conflicted about what to do. What he wants.

I will not fetch the ball, eyes are green I eat my vegetables It has nothing to do with that broad, but if it did, guarantee she'd be gone, well

The other emotions strongly suspect that Fear is starting to experience highly dangerous inner turmoil. They don’t know what to do.

The only one who doesn’t notice is Joy.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK>?!??!

[thisfrailheart]

prompt: sickfic | july 26 | wolfstar | M: language/swearing - complicated feelings about dealing with chronic illness (anger issues/depression/fear of abandonment/unfair treatment of partner) | word count: 722 | @wolfstarmicrofic

***

"Ow. Shit."

His knee gives out on the way to the door. Pain explodes in his hip, nerves are misfiring and his leg can't handle it. Remus stumbles into the doorframe, hits his shoulder on the edge.

He closes his eyes. Grits his teeth to keep from screaming. He's so angry and so tired. And he can smell himself. He reeks. Pain episodes always make him break out in a cold sweat. He gags a little and wishes the ground would swallow him up.

He hears rustling. A sleepy voice. "Remus? Y'okay?"

Why are you awake, he thinks and despises himself for the rage in his chest. He sighs. "Just go— going to the bathroom."

Remus hopes it sounded neutral enough. There's shuffling and he knows for a fact it didn't. A moment later Sirius is by his side.

"Let me...?"

Remus wants to say 'no' but knows he can't. He hates the other man. And himself as well. Sirius pulls Remus' arm around his own shoulders to help hold him up, puts his hand on Remus' waist.

Remus bites his tongue as they shuffle down the hallway.

"Hip or knee?" Sirius asks and pushes the bathroom door open. Flips the light switch. Remus says nothing. "Both?"

And Remus can't take this. "Yes, it's fucking both, alright? I just needed a fucking piss and I can't even fucking do that without help because one issue has turned into fucking two has turned into fucking three. And there'll probably be a fourth and I'm fucking sick of it! I'm so fucking sick of it!"

He pulls away, stumbles into the bathroom and slams the door in Sirius' face. Guilt takes over immediately and he drifts through the motions for a bit. Too caught up in his own horrid thoughts.

Remus limps back to their bedroom, holding onto the walls. The apology is on the tip of his tongue when he steps into the room. "I—"

Sirius isn't there. His heart skips a beat. Two. Then he notices a sound coming from the living room. The TV. His shoulders sag in relief. He sits on his side of the bed with a sad smile. Sirius arranged his pillows in the way he likes. It's the only way to take pressure off his painful joints sometimes. He wants to cry but exhaustion wins in the end.

Remus wakes the next morning, bitter taste of guilt in his mouth. He sits up with a wince. Feels even worse when he notices that Sirius propped his cane next to the nightstand but didn't actually come to bed.

"You're awake."

Remus shifts to look at Sirius, who's standing in the doorway. He looks tired and his eyes are red. "I'm—"

"Shut up!" Sirius snaps. He stalks into the room, comes to stand in front of Remus. In between his legs.

This is it, Remus thinks. He's finally had enough.

"You see this?" Sirius asks. He bends down to grab Remus' hand, then proceeds to hold it in front of his face. The little black star tattooed on his finger mocks him. "Did you lie? When we stood in front of that officiant and you promised to love me, now and forever?"

Remus looks up at Sirius. He's shaking and close to tears. "Cause I didn't. Through good times and bad, I promised. So let me help when it's bad, you fucking prick. I'm sorry you're in pain, I really am. If I could take it away, I would. But I can't. So we're just going to have to deal with it. Cause I'm not letting you go it alone, you hear me? We're forever. Sickness, health, whatever else." He takes a deep breath.

Remus leans forward, into Sirius. Nuzzles into the fabric of the shirt Sirius had thrown on at some point. It's one of his. He rests his cheek against Sirius' stomach, feels fingers carding through his hair. "I'm sorry for speaking to you like that. I'm so sorry. For what it's worth, it wasn't a lie. I meant it. Mean it. I just wish I wasn't—"

Sirius tips his head back with a gentle finger under his chin. Looks at him with a soft smile. The one that's just for him. "Hush. I love you, now and forever."

Remus' heart calms. "Through good times and bad."

[chrisgotitall]

I need ANGST like big argument between mike and younger reader where he gets quite mean, maybe an all too well type situation

i didn't go for an all too well situation because I can't imagine Mike being like that, hope this works anyway

You and Mike didn't fight a lot, there wasn't a lot of time for you too to fight. You had crazy schedules and whenever you saw each other at night you only wanted to have dinner and cuddle up on the couch together.

Unfortunately that night, you weren't so lucky. 

You sorted out a special dinner for the both of you. You had been cooking since this afternoon but you had it laid for 2 hours now.

You heard the front door opening so you got up and cleared the table. He saw you visibly angry and sighed.

“Baby…” he started.

You don’t answer to the sweet pet name because now you hate him. 

“Please… come on, I’m sorry” he continued spilling out apologies.

“No!” you finally let out, “You’re not sorry! Cause if you were sorry, you would have called. You wouldn’t have let me lay everything out waiting for you to come at the time you said you were coming” you spat out, continuing to clear the table.

“I know, I got caught up… I am truly sorry, it was such a hard day today, there was so much to do…” he said.

“Should I feel sorry for you?” 

“No! Baby, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you wait this much”

“The problem is not the waiting, I do that all the time. The problem is you don't care how much I wait for you everyday” you said.

It wasn’t just that night, it was last night, every night last week and always. You were always waiting for him.

He stopped for a moment, taking in your words.

“I don’t go playing around” he scoffed.

“And I do?” you asked.

“I didn’t mean it that way. I meant that I don’t make you wait for me for anything. I’m at work” he said.

“And what’s my utility in this relationship then?” 

“What? You… I-...” he didn’t seem to have a proper sentence and that was enough to make you walk away from him.

He walked right behind you to take your wrist. 

“No” you shoved his hand off of your arm. 

“What is wrong with you? Everything was fine till… this tantrum you’re throwing at me! What do you want from me? I’m trying to make everything right! I’m trying to build a future here! What do you have to go and ruin everything?” he spat out.

“And what am I ruining exactly? You’re so sure that every night you come home late I’m gonna be here waiting for you and cuddling you and telling you just how good you are? Well, you know what? Sometimes I need to hear those things too. Sometimes I need to be cuddled. Sometimes I need you to wait for me” you spat back.

“I take good care of you and you can’t say otherwise! You just do the bare minimum after I manage to keep you in a big house making sure you have everything you need! And you never get anything right”

You looked at him, not believing his words. How could he say that? You never get anything right. Those words rang in your head. 

You literally felt your heart break, not in a million pieces, just a break in the middle, enough to make you say these words.

“It’s over… between us, isn’t it?”

He looks at you, bitterness in his eyes, “There is no us… not anymore”

[theredcuyo]

You know what?

I want Tim and Damian to get along, but not because suddenly they understand each other, and magically they both get over the inherited emotional constipation

But because they are themselves and for a spare second, they realize they're brothers wheter they want to or not, and you can be an asshole to your sibblings but there's a limit to it and sometimes, they're more similar than they'd like to admit

So, a sleep and coffee deprived Tim is finally going back to his room, not because he wants to, but because Babs blocked his access to the internet and the servers. In all his devices. And his anxiety is slowly stalking him, as if it were Ra's and damn it, he just wants a cup of coffee now, because he knows he won't be able to sleep cause of it.

And he's in the kitchen, trying his best to avoid a mental breakdown while making some coffee at two am when a very angry little demon spawn enters the kitchen.

He claims to just want some water, but that's a blant lie and they both know it, his puffy red eyes say otherwise, but none of them say a thing onto that. Damian wouldn't dare tell Drake a thing like that, no matter how much Grayson and Father keep telling him that 'anyone in the family could help him with the nightmares' on the times they've caught him because he stupidly outed himself, this his own problem, his own weakness and under no circumstance you tell your enemy your weakness.

So they stay in silence for a bit more, but before either of them take their first sip to their own drink, something finally scapes Tim's little over worked brain. "... You think i'm useless?"

And Damian is ready to answer as harshly as ever, but then, for a single second their eyes meet, and something, who knows what, really, makes sense in that very second, where both of them are in the kitchen alone, in the middle of the night, trying to act like that's completely normal and that there's not a problem at all. And he averts his gaze down and instead takes his first sip, sending them into silence once again, for a moment at least.

"You are not the greatest." Damian spits out, his tone as far away as he can from being dismissive. "But you're proven yourself to be of use, yes, no one should refused to admit there are many situations that would've reached an nearly impossible task were it not for your prescence"

"I see..." Tim mumbles, and the clock ticks marking the pass of time, and neither of them know how much it is until it's cut again, this time by the youngest.

"Am i..." Damian starts, unsure of what the word he's searching for is, but Tim doesn't pressure him into finding it. "... Unworthy?"

The silence swallows them whole, while both process the question, as Damian finds himself surprised of his own words. "Well, i wouldn't say you're worth all the money on earth..."

Damian glanzes at Tim, and he shrugs, searching for his own words. "But whatever else you're doubting about, it doesn't matter. You are who you are, wheter or not you think you should, the truth remains that it is the card you've been dealt, and if anything, you can just work 'till it feels enough"

Silence fills the room once again, as they finally finish the task they supposedly came to do, and there's no more talking while Tim cleans out his mug until Damian reaches for the door.

"Drake?" He calls, turning around just so slightly, to find the other looking his way. "Yes?"

"... You are a useful brother."

Tim blinks, half thinking that he took decaf instead, but upong seeing Damian again, he knows it's not the case.

"The one you're worthy of, demon spawn."

Damian nods at that, and Tim goes back to his own chore.

It's not like it meant anything, really, but if the next morning there are less bitter comments to each other and only a few death treats, then that's fine with them.

[czrpenters]

sam carpenter nsfw alphabet

pairings: sam carpenter x fem!reader.

masterlist | request rules.

a - aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Sam is the type of girl who will literally do anything for you. Anything. If you wanted a glass of water, she would get up to fetch you some. If you felt hot, she would turn on the AC immediately. Sometimes she would literally exaggerate so much, to the point where you had to make her stay with you instead of going to buy you some water bottles after you've fucked, because you guys' were running out of them.

"But you said you were thirsty, baby..." She would whine like a baby when she couldn't take care of you.

b - bodypart (their favorite part of their partners body)

Sam loves everything about you, so it is pretty hard for her to think about picking a favorite spot on your body. But, if she had to choose, she would say your eyes. She can read you pretty well by then, especially read your eyes; she can tell if you are sad, angry, horny, anxious. Just by looking at them.

c - cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

She loves your taste more than anything. It's what drives her the most when you're fucking; she mostly wants to make you cum so she can taste it. It's bitter, a little bit sour even, and she would taste you everyday if she could.

d - dirty secret

Sam wil never, ever tell you this, but she would literally die if one day you called her Mommy. It's something that she would only tell you if you were the one that brought it up, otherwise she will carry that secret to the grave with her.

e - experience (how much do they have?)

She definetly has some experience, more than you. Boys, girls, you name it. And your lack of it never was an issue to her; in fact, she loved teaching you everything she knew about sex.

f - favorite position

Every position where she gets to see your face are her favorites. Although, when she's feeling a little bit angrier at the moment, she'll definetly want something where she could slap your ass, or your face. All fours is a must, as well.

g - goofy (how are they in the moment? are they more serious or humorous?)

She takes it very seriously, but not in a bad way. She just gets too focused in making you feel good, and you enjoy that about her. Even in times where she feels rougher, she's always serious.

h - hair (how well groomed they are, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Sam prefers to keep it all trimmed, most of the times she just wax everything off for convenience, as well.

i - intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Really depends on her mood. And depends on you, of course. If you sit on her lap, kiss her slowly and ask nicely, she'll have the most romantic night with you. Candles, music, you name it. Everything that you love, she'll do. You just have to ask. She absolutely needs to know how you're feeling the entire time when you're having these romantic nights. "Is this good?", "Am I hurting you, baby?", "I'm gonna put another one in, okay?". You felt like a princess every damn time.

j - jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Oh, she does it more than she can admit it. I mean, you're a busy girl, she's a busy girl, you both don't always have time to be intimate and that's fine to her. But sometimes it gets harder than she expected, and she literally has to lock herself in the tiny bathroom of the diner she worked at, just to get some relief.

k - kinks (one or more of their kinks)

She likes to play it rough. Bondages, wax play, strap-ons. And slapping. That is her weak spot. Anywhere she can slap you, she will. In your ass, your thigh, your face, especially your pussy. She likes causing you pain, but still worries about you all the time. You both had a safe word that, thankfully, was never used, but still; Sam knew that she could be a little too much when she was horny, and she would hate hurting you in a way that you didn't liked it.

l - location (favorite places to do it)

Sam isn't the number one fan of having sex in public places. She liked making you scream, she enjoyed the privacy. She would only consider if you really, really wanted to; otherwise, no.

m - motivation (what turns them on)

Unironically, you. Anything you do. If you wore a shorter skirt, she was down. If you tied your hair, she got wet. It wasn't hard to get her in the mood, you just pretty much had to exist. But something that really, really gets her going, is when you ask for it. If you got home from work, wanting for Sam to fuck the stress out of you, she will immediately do so. And she will do it like she has a fucking PhD in sex. Or in the middle of sex, when she teases you a little bit just to hear you say "Please". Being in control makes her crazy.

n - no (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

Honestly, Sam is down to try almost anything, except if it was anything that you didn't want to do. Even if it was something that she personally wanted to try. She would ask you once, and if you said no, she would never bring it up again.

o - oral (preference in giving or recieving, skills, etc.)

I'm not gonna lie, Sam is pretty talented with her mouth, but there was something about having you down on her that really makes her go crazy. She loves how good you're with her, how you know exactly the right spots. And it's funny because she was the one who thought you all of that, she felt like a proud teacher most of the times. She praised you everytime, saying stuff like "You're such a good girl, baby...", "You're a fast learner, huh?".

p - pace (fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

Like I've said, it really depends. If she's feeling romantic, slow. If she's feeling angry, rough. And sometimes she would do both at the same time, surprisingly.

q - quickie (their opinion on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc)

She never really enjoyed quickies, to be honest. It was a habit that came with you guys' relationship. Specifically, it came when you both were alone in the house, horsing around, when you said jokingly (enphasis on the joke part) that she couldn't make you cum before Tara got home (which had just texted you saying she was 5 minutes away from the apartment). Like the competitive girl that she is, she took it as a challenge. And spoiler alert: she did make you cum (in 3 minutes).

r - risk (are they okay with experimenting, do they take risks, etc)

Sam is down to try anything, you just needed to ask her. She's just so whipped.

s - stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long they usually last)

For real, she can go for hours. Sometimes she just needs some 5 minute breaks in between rounds, but she can go as long as you want her to. She's there to please you, after all.

t - toys (do they own any? do they use them?)

You guys call it "The Collection". The amount of toys that you guys bought over the years was embarrassingly high. Strap-ons, vibrators, ropes and chains, you name it. The last purchase she made was a bullet vibrator type of thing with a remote controller. She was having way too much fun with that.

u - unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

She only teases you just to hear you plead, because in the back of her mind, she hates to not give you what you want. She loves spoiling you with everything, but she also loved it when you asked for stuff.

v - volume (how loud they are, what kind of noises do they make, etc)

She isn't too loud, she believes. Sometimes, when you guys are alone, she allows herself to be a little bit over the edge, but not always. She prefers to moan for you, and only you. But when it was her turn, she just wanted to make you scream her name. And also, Sam had the filhtiest mouth you'd ever seen, honestly. She would say the nastiest things while you were fucking and that honestly got you more turned on than ever.

w - wild card (random headcanon)

Sam's personal goal, everytime, was to make you cry. She loved making you feel so good, but so good, that it made tears roll down your face.

x - x-ray (what's going on under their clothing)

Sam loves to wear matching underwear, and loves when you do the same.

y - yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not that high, but also definetly not low. She was a little bit over the middle.

z - ZZZ.. (do they fall asleep afterwards?)

Almost never. She loves watching you sleep. Cuddling you, kissing all over your face, making sure that she didn't stepped over the line with your body. She would only sleep if she knew for sure you were alright.

⠀

[fierrochase-falafel]

Making a case for Xie Lian's complex morality in TGCF

Finally getting over myself and getting this one out of the drafts...

Disclaimer: Any MXTX book has a very divided fandom on whether practically all the characters are "good" or not- Hua Cheng, Xie Lian, Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, Pei Ming, Luo Binghe. I feel the way MXTX writes is such that our own interpretation of the book can grow to be the very thing we love about it. So naturally I am going to start off by saying this is my interpretation of her work- you can disagree with me, sure, and I'd love to hear other people's thoughts, but I don't think it is something worth calling me wrong over. I'm not claiming to preach the 1 true reading or even claiming to be 'correct'- this is just my interpretation. This doesn't mean I don't find value in alternate interpretations, contradictory or otherwise. Please be nice to me!! :,)

Part I: Smart, but not smart

So anyways...there's this quote in book 3, when Xie Lian reveals Ling Wen as the creator of the Brocade Immortal, where this happens:

Ling Wen crossed her arms and shook her head. “Your Highness, someone like you…sometimes you’re smart, but sometimes you’re also not very smart; sometimes you’re soft-hearted, but sometimes you’re cold-hearted, too.”

And I've always loved this quote, it's arguably one of my favourites, because it emphasises what I think is the core of the story- to ascend is human, to fall is also human. What matters is appreciating that humanity, and nobody embodies this like Xie Lian. MXTX always pits together contradictions like this throughout the story: ascension with falling, soft-hearted with cold-hearted, laughing with crying. Humanity is a series of contradictions, and Xie Lian is the epitome of that. We see him saving a child with regal presence/grace and also drunkenly yelling swear words in a ditch; we see him calmly ascend to godhood at 17 and also almost violently kill a guy for insulting his street performance. Xie Lian is a man who can be kind, calm, endearing and spirited but also vengeful, bitter, jaded and broken. He has been naive and impulsive as well as strategic and controlled.

These differences often seem to happen at the same time in him, even. Xie Lian as a prince was still relatively calm and controlled, but it didn't stop him from being naive and desperate at various points too- sometimes at the same time. His decision in the Land of the Tender (T/W- to stab himself) was arguably a sign of him losing control of his senses yet remaining just on the cusp of controlling his actions. He is holding on to his no-sex cultivation by saying the Ethics Sutra and making the impulsive decision to turn his sword on himself voluntarily but also reacting sexually to the flower demons involuntarily. He is placed in situations where he is distinctly both in and out of control at the same time! Later when he's lying in a ditch (T/W- having stabbed himself AGAIN), there's a lens to it that he's waiting for someone to be kind to him, just once. He's optimistic in giving people a chance- hopeful and altruistic on some level while also being angry and bitter at nobody having helping him yet. In present day he's still impulsive at times but also level-headed, jaded and also optimistic. Hua Cheng fully recognises this in him, and his recognition of Xie Lian's utter humanity is what makes him the one person who truly understands Xie Lian.

"Your Highness, I understand your everything. Your courage, your despair; your kindness, your pain; your resentment, your hate; your intelligence, your foolishness."- Hua Cheng

Part II: Mass murder is...a big deal

Xie Lian is nowhere near perfect, like Feng Xin tends to see him, but neither is he just pretending to be altruistic to make people like him, as Mu Qing tends to believe. Both of them have these ideas in their heads of Xie Lian being amazing or awful, when really Xie Lian has the potential to be both, and that's what makes him, ultimately, just a human above all else. And Hua Cheng gets that about him, more than anyone else, which is important. Hua Cheng loves him and believes in him not because he is inherently, fundamentally good but because of who he is entirely. Part of that 'being' for Xie Lian is trying not to indulge his worst emotions, trying to be good as much as he can, but part of that 'being' includes parts of him that can't be perceived as 'good'. See, no matter how traumatised you are, and even though I'm not judging Xie Lian for his mental state, choking some man on the street almost to death is a no-go, okay.

Xie Lian's will to keep to his principles of what is right and wrong is one thing, but TGCF stretches these boundaries over and over as we watch Xie Lian's view evolve from being a child. I don't think Xie Lian is a 'good person' because he never strays from his values, because he does. Save the common people? The people of Yong'an he intended to mass massacre were the 'common people'. And yes he tried to save them before, and yes it took very little to make him not massacre the people of Yong'an, but the fact that this was something he started at all? He himself used Fangxin to collect the souls from the battlefield- no matter how much he subconsciously wanted to believe in the worth of humanity with his self-stabbing social experiment, he created the conditions necessary to commit mass murder and that in itself is a sign that a part of him meant to go through with it. This isn't just a byproduct of his rage, a response befitting of an uncaring society, no, this is a big deal, and I don't think we can still argue Xie Lian is / has always been a beacon of virtue. Xie Lian isn't just flawed in ways that are easy to forgive, it's not just that he's inherently 'good' with flaws such as impulsivity or naivety that do not really reflect on his moral character. He is also morally flawed, in a way all humans can be but may find it hard to recognise within themselves.

To be fair to the guy, most humans don't have their kingdoms destroyed, their bodily autonomy violated and all their loved ones gone from their lives. Particularly not the first one. For trauma of such epic proportions and disasters of such epic proportions, this intense of a response to commit mass murder isn't shocking. Given his exposure to all this power through his godhood and descent, the power to commit mass murder is less massive-seeming than needing the power to save his own people from it. Given the deaths of so many Xianle inhabitants, this is almost an eye-for-an-eye response: something which some people or cultures may see as morally righteous (the Locrians in Ancient Greece were huge on this, for instance) and some see as morally wrong. However, the way I see it that does not make potential mass murder easily ethically justifiable. MXTX doesn't shy away from giving us insight into Xie Lian's vulnerable and broken mental state and reasons for attempting this, but his actions are still consequential in a huge way. Had he committed the murder; had he not been pulled up by the farmer or had he not found it in him to stop, would we view him as morally good? Could we? What if he did murder the Yong'an citizens but then realised how awful that was then, and spent the rest of his life trying to be good? It feels a bit like a cop-out to say, "well, he didn't do it so that's that", because even the idea, the intention of him doing it and the fact it almost happened raises so many questions about how much blame would be attribute to him if the people of Yong'an really were killed. Even if Xie Lian hadn't done it himself: if he failed to stop Bai Wuxiang from killing them all, for instance. If he were stabbed over and over again but his body couldn't take it, if the rest of the people of Yong'an weren't willing to stab him, and Wu Ming didn't take the bullet then what? It's not like Bai Wuxiang had any reason to go out of his way to call the spirits of Yong'an to Fangxin, for to him the biggest matter was getting Xie Lian to do it and solidify the latter's allegiance to resentment and apathy (just like himself). That would have been done by Xie Lian's hand, and how much the consequences would lay on Xie Lian's head is really difficult to think about. Even if he'd have done his utmost to stop it, but it would've happened atleast partially because of him.

Part III: Morality measured

It's interesting to consider how we measure morality as individuals- somewhere in-between intentions and consequences we diverge, and this tension is what fuels MXTX's conflicts. This is why it's so hard to assign blame in TGCF. Shi Wudu's intentions with the fate-swap were not malicious at all but the consequences for He Xuan were utterly disastrous, and that's on Shi Wudu. Quan Yizhen's intentions were never to make Yin Yu feel bad, but his obliviousness and shining talent hurt Yin Yu anyways. Of course, Yin Yu was the one who kept silent until he couldn't take it anymore, and said the worst possible thing at the worst possible time even if all he wanted was to be nice to Quan Yizhen and not project his feelings onto him. Book 3 contains an increase in these dynamics where the intentions and consequences are SO vastly incongruent that it plays with what morality means, encouraging you to ask: "Who do you believe was in the right?" "Do you think anyone here is or isn't entitled to what they want?" "Is there any way to objectively assign blame here, or are some scenarios too complicated for there to be a direct conflict of right and wrong?" So when it comes to Xie Lian, all that he could have been and all that he is, book 4 naturally stretches the limits of his heart being in paradise.

In conversations I have had or opinions I've seen on this platform and others, people's opinions on how much Xie Lian caused aspects of his own downfall range from "he did absolutely nothing wrong ever" to "he was the epitome of hubris and ignorance", the latter usually accompanied by a favourable analysis towards another character such as Mu Qing. When getting into MDZS, I was reminded of this when seeing Wei Wuxian-Jiang Cheng discourse actually, people talking about Wei Wuxian as a model of goodness who never hurt anyone unless his hand was forced (as if the Wen Chao toruture scene didn't happen) or as an irresponsible and disloyal rascal (as if he wasn't protecting defenseless people including JC's rescuers in the Burial Mounds). This sort of range can be seen with many characters in TGCF: particularly with Xie Lian, Hua Cheng and Mu Qing but you also get many for Jun Wu, He Xuan, Shi Wudu and the like. Xie Lian, as the main character, is possibly the most complicated of them all. The series is in his perspective, he recognises and regrets both his glory days and his fall from grace- the former due to his naivety and the latter due to his resentment. Since then all of the plots he has involved himself in have involved him taking on as much of the pain as physically possible for himself because his desire to help other people flourished again alongside and mingled with his shame and lasting trauma. He is ashamed of both his highest and lowest moments for not being able to offset the consequences, but while you're reading the story it feels very often like there's nothing else he could have done. Partially because (although this is debatable imo) this is somewhat from his perspective despite the 3rd person narrative, so we know what he's like before anyone else. Plus, with how book 2 plays out like a classic tragedy where his greatest strength (will to help his people despite tradition) becomes his greatest weakness, it's the age-old question of how much he can be held accountable for his kingdom's downfall or how much was completely out of his control or in the hands of fate.

One take I remember very strongly that was quite popular was about MXTX's characters being ultimately morally good characters, in which Xie Lian's character was said to not change or develop. Rather, Xie Lian has always been inherently morally good and TGCF is about the world around him not rewarding that goodness yet Xie Lian remaining good and pure-hearted all the way through no matter what, even in his darkest times. While this may be an interpretation some people have, I think it's more complicated than that. Xie Lian's morality was seemingly very clear-cut in book 2 because he had no huge reason not to be 'good'. Yeah sure, he was chastised for saving a child during the lantern festival parade, but nothing was genuinely going to happen to him. He was the crown prince! The stakes for him were never as high, and he had no reason to believe he could fail at all. When put to the test, given the fact he did set up the conditions for the immediate slaughter of Yong'an, I don't think any goodness automatically present in his character was being channelled in his decision. Morality can be as easy as "I want to always do what's right" when you have money and security, but becomes more difficult when you're consumed by grief and rage, or when you've lost everything you once had. Morality is more than an inherent aspect to one's character, and how we perceive someone's moral nature depends on their intentions, their choices, the consequences of those choices and whether they accept responsibility and accountability for the other 3 things.

Part IV: Complexity is the key

Having said all this, I hope it's clear I am NOT saying Xie Lian is an immoral character. In fact, I WOULD argue that he is a 'good' person, that is, a person who embodies what goodness would look like despite all the complications involved. What I'm saying here is that he is a good person not because he always sticks to his standards/beliefs, or even that he always believes in his own standards, but because he chooses to try to believe. In humanity, in the power of his own actions, in the kindness of strangers after he was shown kindness once himself. And this is something earned and learned, not something he had in the beginning. In the beginning it came natural to him because he had the privilege of that as Crown prince. "If something goes wrong, I'll fix it, and everyone around me will always be looking out for my best interests even if I disagree with them. Murder is wrong, following the path to ascension is the ultimate good." etc. etc. When he has to face the world as someone with nothing, those are the experiences that mould his current day understanding of why people do the things they do even if they seem completely morally wrong. Why people would stab someone knowing they would feel the pain, why people would murder someone, why they might steal or rage or drink. And in most cases, it can be hard to judge someone as completely morally wrong for doing actions deemed morally wrong if you believe intention has any bearing on morality.

Xie Lian to me is not inherently good, but someone who chooses to try to be a good person, thus arguably being a good person. And I would defend him as such on that premise, not because his righteous morals have remained static and intact throughout the novels. It isn't that he didn't choose to be good as a child, but he didn't really have to TRY because he hadn't faced the sort of crisis that shook his foundations and forced him to grow, understanding and adapting to the complexity of living in the real world. Where you fail, where falling upon hard times can force you to resort to things you once thought beneath you. Where your actions have power over your circumstances, but your circumstances also hold power over you whether you like it or not. The root of Xie Lian's compelling character, for me, is in his growth from a man with a static morality to a man with moral complexity. A belief in one's principles that accounts for its limits and recognises its flaws in the face of circumstance, and adapts accordingly. It's not like Xie Lian wanted to betray and murder the Yong'an king who was so kind to him, and to actively do that seems pretty horrible until you remember he did it to save a whole group of people, Xianle descendants. Xie Lian still blames himself for this in book 1 even though in this act he saved numerous civilians, but Hua Cheng reminds him that he made that choice for a good reason, and has faith in Xie Lian's choices.

Speaking of the devil...Hua Cheng, even though he loves all of Xie Lian, does not love him blindly or without consideration of the worst parts of himself. He would follow Xie Lian into the abyss of his mental state but still try to help Xie Lian out of the sort of guilt, back from the point of no return. One interpretation of his refusal to let Xie Lian kill Lang Ying is that he wanted Xie Lian to not have Lang Ying's blood on his hands as well. If this would affect any future cultivation or make him feel any more guilty in the future. He also tried to gently tell Xie Lian that he still has believers to calm him down when he sees the white flower. However, to Hua Cheng, whatever Xie Lian would've chosen in the end would still be a decision taken by the same Xie Lian, and Hua Cheng would follow Xie Lian no matter whether he's engaged in the worst parts of himself or not. I think it's very easy for us to assign a specified amount of goodness to a character based on just 1 thing- be it just their intentions or just their choices or just the consequences of their actions. A few sample assumptions I've seen (that do not reflect wider society or anything, these are just opinions I've seen around online): To want to save people is good, therefore Xie Lian is good. Hua Cheng has no qualms about killing 33 gods for Xie Lian, so he must be amoral. But the nature of what is good is variable- under the light of different interpretations, Xie Lian is more morally grey and Hua Cheng is more morally inclined than those assumptions would give them credit for. My point essentially is that many characters, but Xie Lian in particular, are more complicated than we sometimes give them credit for. It's also why he's so easily put up against Jun Wu- someone who is the antagonist and committed several heinous crime, but also parallels what Xie Lian at his worst could have been. If Jun Wu really did repent on everyone he damaged at the end of the novels, you can't call him a good person just based on newfound intent and he can't be so easily forgiven, but to imply alternatively that after all he's done he will always be a bad man and that's that...doesn't sit right with me either. Of course, the question of Jun Wu seems even more complicated somehow, funnily enough.

I think when I first read TGCF years back, Xie Lian is the character who showed me not to judge multidimensional characters or people on a consistent metric of goodness but rather on numerous aspects of how they live that can change over time and leaves room for circumstantial flexibility. I also think that acknowledging complexity in how we view morality in each other can allow us to gain a better understanding of what it is to be a human. And in my view, what makes Xie Lian such a well-written character is that he's nothing if not a human.

[mynameis-noe-body]

Okay, for marquis de gramont we can get reallll toxic. Both the reader and Vincent are angry with each other and are tying to make one another jealous at the event. Because they’re very kinda delulu and possessive they kill the people they're using to make the other jealous and confess their feelings

Thank you so much for this request, my dear anon. I hope you'll love this. 🖤

I am your slave

Marquis Vincent Bisset de Gramont × you (F/GN)

Rating: Teen & Up Audience

Status: Complete (one shot)

Author notes: I used Google translate for the Russian and French sentences. Let me know if it's incorrect!

Obviously. You muttered the word under your breath, chewing its bitter taste, testing its sound on the tip of your tongue as you watched, disarmed, as the Marquis made his triumphal entrance.

The most influential families of the High Table had gathered at the Hotel Mademoiselle de Condé for a gala and business evening. Those weren't rare events, but that didn't make them any less sumptuous. Money flowed freely, as did the champagne, the drugs, the caviar. And the lovers. Yes, they were purchasable too. Women and men of supreme beauty, unattainable, sometimes sons and daughters who were given away, exchanged, lent — everything, in exchange for favors.

But the Marquis — Vincent — never had to ask anyone for anything.

With a gallant gesture he opened the door of his 1970 Cadillac DeVille and offered his arm to a woman. And not yet another high-class whore that he would have refused to touch even with the tip of his little finger, no. The woman who accompanied him that evening was a creature of rare beauty, perhaps someone's protégé. Perhaps his protégé. She was graceful, elegant, she flaunted a cascade of golden curls that would make Venus herself envious. And you, you felt flooded with anger.

"Champagne" you ordered, snapping your fingers. They served you immediately. You too had your power, and you had never hidden it. You knew, deep down, that it was one of the things that attracted him. Your shy elegance fiercely contrasted the anger that could ignite in your heart. The strength of your hands, the fury in your eyes, the power you wielded ruthlessly. Yet, in his arms and in his bed, you were capable of the deepest love, the most total devotion. He was bewitched by it, and inebriated. Therefore, he loved to instigate every jealousy in you, just to have you desperate at the end of the night.

Vincent didn't even glance at you. He shook dozens of hands, ordered food and drinks, laughed with his colleagues and friends. And he ignored you. At least until, from the door of the luxurious hotel, taking off his Armani coat and handing the keys of his Ferrari Portofino to the doorman, Mr. D'Antonio entered.

"Santino!" you exclaimed, with a smile so bright it lighted the entire dining room. Many turned, if only for a moment, to watch you gallop towards the man, with a hem of your beautiful dress grasped between your fingers to reveal crystal heels that echoed off the walls.

Santino opened his arms, and welcomed you with a loud kiss on the cheek. "Meraviglia! Look at you — beautiful, you are beautiful."

Santino was warm, welcoming, purely Italian. And charming, in every aspect of his person. He knew how to make any woman feel like the most beautiful in the world. He gallantly offered you his arm and ordered for you. His laugh was loud, contagious. His exuberant nature amused you. You had been friends for years now. You had worked together, sometimes — often you had worked for him. And he appreciated you. He was generous in his payments. And above all, Vincent was morbidly jealous, because D'Antonio had no qualms about making blatant advances on you, even in front of all those people.

Vincent was daydreaming about murder. God, how he hated him. And yes, he had planned to take that beautiful Parisian home with him, one of the new acquisitions of his organization, now that he saw you... you were his favorite. Oh, bullshit — you were the only one. Since he had met you he had no longer been able to keep faith with his numerous lovers. One by one, they had extinguished his desire, and you had ignited his. Or they were fallen dead, because you killed them. Many of them, to be honest. And every time he learned of one of your murders, his desire to possess you — body and soul — violently took hold of him. He didn't want to give in, not that easily. But now he understood how difficult it was to resist you, while your hand caressed the muscular shoulder of that penniless Italian. That coward. The mere thought that you could enjoy yourself under his fingers made him vomit — so much that he poured what was left of the wine into the boulle and twisted his mouth in a grimace of disgust.

With my bare hands, he thought. He crossed his legs and wrapped himself in his double-breasted jacket, brooding. I want to kill him with my bare hands around his neck. He would have done it. He was Vincent Bisset de Gramont, the Marquis and he could do whatever the fuck he wanted. He could have attached Santino D'Antonio to a pole and set him on fire to make him feel a tenth of the physical pain with which, due to that jealousy, he himself was now burning.

The young woman he had brought with him caressed his face. Or at least, she tried. But he grabbed her wrist before she could touch his cheek. He looked at her with the same hatred. "Go take off that lipstick" he hissed, through clenched teeth. "You look ridiculous."

She obeyed, humiliated, and reached the bathroom. Of course, she didn't expect to meet you anytime soon.

As soon as you saw her walking away towards the toilet, you took your chance, followed her and closed the door behind you with a sharp slam, waiting for her right there, outside her niche. She, surrounded by that shiny hair, those brilliant eyes, those scarlet lips, had raised a single eyebrow in an inquisitive manner.

"And you are?" she asked, passing a cloth over her lips, cleaning them from that bright color.

You inhaled deeply. "You know who I am."

She allowed herself an amused smile. "Ah," she had commented, smugly, "nomer dva."

You thought that, before speaking, she should have made sure that you didn't speak Russian.

▪️▪️▪️

"Dance with me." Vincent took your hand, intertwined his fingers with yours and dragged you before you could respond, or refuse.

He had chased you as soon as you left the bathroom. The Marquis had immediately noticed your flushed chest, your freshly washed hands, your disheveled hair pulled back with a mechanical gesture of your hand, your pupils as narrow as pinpricks. Magnificent. On the dance floor, he had first twirled you once, before grabbing you and holding you against his chest; one hand — the right one — on your back, the lower part, the other intertwined with yours and pressed against his chest, on the beating of his heart. And his face in the corner between your neck and your shoulder.

You huffed, trying to maintain composure. "They're all watching us" you whispered in his ear. He smiled against your skin. "You'll make us look ridiculous in front of the High Table."

"Mon amour. I am the High Table." Vincent left the ghost of a kiss on your neck before making you sway in his arms. Another pirouette, and there you are again in his inevitable grip. "I could order half the men in this room to lick the floor where you walk, and they would do it for me."

You barely held back a small smile. "I can not stand you." But you settled a little more against his chest. The soft, slow music lulled you gently. "And what do you think of Santino? Would he kneel for you too?"

His nails dug into your side, making you flinch. You met his icy eyes in mid-air. So cold, so beautiful. "The Italian. That's it then, you like him."

"He's a charming man."

"He is rude, and vulgar. So pompous."

"And you're not?"

You almost heard him growl. Vincent shot a terrible look at D'Antonio, across the room, who was watching you swing on the dance floor with dark, annoyed eyes.

"You shouldn't be here with me" you added, coldly. "Your woman? Where is she?"

He laughed heartily. "Oh, please. We both know she won't make it out of that bathroom alive. How long did it take you to kill her?"

But you didn't answer. You never responded to his curiosity... it was your game.

Vincent grinned. The kiss on your neck now became passionate. You felt his soft lips caress your skin from your bare shoulder to the tip of your chin with five deep, intense kisses. "You drive me crazy."

This time, you smiled happily. "You are sick."

Vincent looked deadly serious, hovering over you, his back straight and tall to tower over your beautiful figure. "I will have monsieur D'Antonio's raw heart served to me on a silver platter. I will kidnap you, lock you in a dungeon, make you die of hunger and thirst if necessary — anything, as long as you admit the truth."

He was scary. Exciting. Terrifying. Beautiful. You blushed, panting slightly. "What truth? What the hell are you talking about?"

He smiled. He leaned down and whispered in your ear. "That you love me, mon amour."

"I —" yes, you loved him. And you loved the way he made you feel. You loved that hateful jealousy you felt for him, and that he felt for you. You caressed his face with an unexpected sweetness. Your eyes were large, languid. Vincent felt his whole body tremble like never before... "I'll tell you. Not now, though. Tomorrow morning. Now, take me home, and make love to me."

He stopped. He smiled, looking younger than he was. So happy. With a ridiculous low bow, he offered you his hand. "Je suis ton serviteur."

[lionlena]

I Hold You (Oberyn Martellxf!reader) one shot

Summary: Oberyn has a nightmare about his sister's death, which makes him fear that he will lose you too.

Warning: angst, hurt/comfort, canonical death of a character, tragic death, blood, mention of rape…

Title inspired by the song: CLANN - I Hold You

A/N: I am obsessed with thinking, how tragic and terrible was the fate of Elia Martell.

Also, watch this: Robert's Rebellion by Oberyn Martell

Hot air blew across their faces as they ran through the courtyard filled with the Dornish sun. From time to time, the shadow of the palm trees growing along the courtyard fell on them. Her dark hair bounced on her shoulders and her bare feet hit on the ground.

She held his hand tightly. With strength so contrasting to her petite body.

And she laughed. Oh… What a sweet sound that was. Like the nectar they drank for breakfast in the morning.

He didn't resist her as she pulled him towards the fountain. He never resisted her.

Even though she was weaker and so delicate, she was able to capture anyone's heart, especially his. She walked gracefully among the vipers and knew that no one would dare to hurt her. And if someone like that was found, he would make sure that such a fool suffered unimaginable torment.

Oberyn loved her like no one else. His sweet sister. Elia Martell. His friend, confidant of secrets, and comforter. He spent so many long hours with his head on her lap as she ran her hand through his raven hair and explained to him that not everything could be solved by force. And that he can't be mad all the time. She taught him how to read poetry. For her, he began writing poems.

She wasn't just his sister. She was part of him. An integral part of his wild soul. It was like a cozy, cool hole in which an angry desert viper hid when the desert heat was deadly.

When she jumped into the fountain and started splashing water on him, he laughed happily and his dark eyes sparkled. She took a step back so that the water flowing from the marble snake's mouth soaked her head. She waved her hand at him, encouraging him to do the same. He wanted to do it and feel the pleasant coolness of the water. But when he took a step forward, the water flowing down his sister's head turned red. His heart stopped and she looked at him in surprise, as if she hadn't realized that her face was turning red with blood.

She extended her hand towards him. With a heavy heart, the prince took a step closer but stopped when he noticed the bodies of two children floating in the red water. He heard his sister scream as she was now holding her dress covered in blood. She lifted the material up, revealing her thighs covered in slippery goo and blood.

He felt bile rising in his throat and struggled to find his voice.

"Elia," he croaked. "Do not leave me!"

His sister looked at him with eyes full of suffering, and suddenly her face turned into yours. The prince suddenly stretched his hand towards you, grabbed your dress, and shouted:

"NO!"

*

Oberyn woke up and sat on the bed, breathing heavily. His body was covered in sweat, his hair was stuck to his forehead, and he felt a bitter taste in his mouth. He glanced sideways at you and his heart tightened. You looked so peaceful as you slept next to him, still with a blissful smile on your face after he took proper care of you and brought you to multiple orgasms.

He carefully leaned over you and brushed your hair away from your face. You lived, you breathed and you were fine. And yet he couldn't shake the feeling that your life was as fragile as his sister's was. You reminded him so much of her. You were delicate and intelligent, sensitive and full of empathy. It was both a blessing and a curse for him. Sometimes he even thought that it was his sister's spirit that put you on his path. To remember again what it's like to have someone he will trust with all his heart and who will surround him with care and love.

Oberyn sighed heavily and moved away from your warm body. He sat on the edge of the bed and was lost in his thoughts. He was the best warrior in Dorne, and yet he failed to protect his sister. What if he fails you? Would you be safer without him? No... He shook his head. The thought of not knowing where you were or what was happening to you was even more terrifying to him.

While he was lost in his thoughts, you woke up and immediately realized what the problem was. This wasn't the first time he had nightmares. Your sweet prince was full of life every day, full of jokes... He was also arrogant, conceited, and proud, but when nightmares came, he was sad and needed support. His entire demeanor changed and you saw a side that few people saw.

You carefully stood up and sat down behind him. You hugged him from behind and placed your chin on his shoulder. You didn't say anything, you just waited for him to speak.

Oberyn sighed, feeling the comforting warmth of your body against his back. In moments like these, he was grateful for your love and understanding. You were a special woman to him. He had never opened up to any other lovers like he did to you. And maybe that's why, paradoxically, he had nightmares more often than before.

He placed his hand on top of yours, which was resting on his belly.

"I'm fine... You can go back to sleep... I'm sure you're still tired from what we did." He tried to make his voice sound convincing, but you could hear the note of sadness and desperation.

You nuzzled his neck as a signal that you weren't going anywhere and tightened your grip. For a moment, a small smile appeared on his face. Then he sighed and took a few deep breaths. And finally, he whispered:

"I saw her again... First it was a memory from our youth. Happy life at Sunspear. We ran to the fountain to cool off..." His voice suddenly became quieter and trembling. "When she entered the water... The water turned to blood, and then... Her face... Her..."

You noticed a tear rolling down his cheek and hugged him even tighter. You pressed your lips against his cheek, feeling the salty taste.

"Her face turned into yours…" Oberyn finished and you sighed softly.

Sometimes you would give anything to take this pain and these terrible memories away from him. Not only were you hurt by your loved one's suffering, but by poor Elia's suffering. When you first heard her story, you cried. You didn't know her, but it seemed so unfair what happened to her and her children. And even though House Lannister had done nothing wrong to you, you hated them as much as Oberyn did.

However, you knew that no one in the world had the power to undo what had already happened. Living in memories led nowhere. So instead of thinking about the past, you focused on the present and comforting your loved one.

"But I'm here... And I'm holding you. You feel my warmth and my breath."

Oberyn nodded.

"But what if one day I can't protect you from the horrors of this world?"

You thought for a moment. His question was one that had no easy answer. Neither of you could promise that nothing bad would happen. You finally answered slowly.

"If something bad happens to me, I will be sure that you did everything to protect me. And I will die with the feeling that I was loved... And that I will be mourned."

Oberyn took a shaky breath and gripped your hands tighter. Your answer was honest, painful and... somehow comforting. But... No, he didn't do everything to protect you. Suddenly he turned towards you and cupped your face in his hands.

"Be my wife."

"What?"

His sudden reaction took you by surprise. The candlelight reflected in his brown eyes, and you could see the sincerity in them. It definitely wasn't one of his jokes or teasing.

"Be my wife." He repeated, his voice becoming more confident, almost demanding, even though you knew he would never force you to do anything.

"I thought that... That you didn't want this... That you were comfortable with our relationship."

Oberyn smiled softly at you and rubbed his thumb against your cheek.

"Because it suits me, but... As strange as it may sound, since I found you, I no longer need other women and I want to provide you with even greater security. And this will happen when you gain the title of princess. Hurting a prince's lover is not the same as hurting his wife. Everyone will think twice. Besides, if something happens to me, you will be left with my estate and under the full protection of the Martell family."

You frowned and looked away from him, and he didn't understand your reaction. He thought you would be happy.

"What happened, my love?" He asked tenderly and gently grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"You talk about marriage like a business. Something that will make you sleep soundly at night."

He finally realized what the problem was and immediately kissed your forehead.

"Oh, forgive me, my desert flower. It wasn't meant to sound like that. Your safety is important here, but... I want you to be my wife because I love you like no one else. Because you are part of my heart and the air that I breathe. Because I can't imagine a day without your kiss, without your look. I just want to make official what I have known for a long time... I am yours and only yours."

Even if you tried, you couldn't stop the smile that appeared on your face. His words easily warmed your heart and all you could do was whisper:

"I agree."

Oberyn smiled and kissed you gently on the lips. However, you could see that he still hadn't fully recovered from the nightmare. So you stroked his jaw and pulled him towards the center of the bed. You knew that in the morning you would want to discuss your wedding and that you would have many questions, but you knew that you both needed to rest.

"Let's go back to sleep. You're tired."

You could tell he wanted to argue with you, but you had a trick up your sleeve. You laid on your back and patted your belly and you knew he would always take him up on that offer. It was his favorite way to fall asleep after a nightmare. He always wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his head in your lap as you stroked his hair soothingly.

It was like that this time too.

He snuggled into your body and you started stroking his dark hair.

"Rest now, my love. It's all right. I'm here and I'm holding you."

Oberyn closed his eyes, listening to your calm voice. The fear of losing you was still there in him, and he squeezed you a little tighter as if hoping that the gods wouldn't be able to break you free from his grasp.

"I've got you." He whispered and slowly fell into sleep, hoping he wouldn't have another nightmare.

Rest now, my love It's all right The dark is gone I am here I hold you

Pernament tag list: @harriedandharassed