#but someone needs to start talking about burgene and it may as well be me (has already written like 10k words for them)

[randlemartin]

the presence of sid does make any post war non-sidsledge fic very funny. obviously in this instance im thinking about burgene and how it would be like for burgie, a stranger to visit sledge and he's sledge's old platoon sergeant and he's older and was on gloucester too (but not guadalcanal) and he's polite and nice and kind of normal all things considered but he was sledge's platoon sergeant and he went through sledge's campaigns with him and comforted him when sid couldn't. and he's from such a vastly different background to both sledge and sid but he still has so much in common with sledge and was there to see sledge become the man he is now. and he's literally nice :)

[itsthestutterforme]

Your Fault (Supernatural)

Summary: Mary Winchester had died and Jack is in the wind. Sam and Dean just finished burying her and Dean is furious. He takes it out on Y/N and Cas, which leads Y/N attempts to take her life. Dean manages to save her before she follows through. He tries to comfort her but she refuses, so they bring someone else.

Warnings: mentions of self harm, mentions of suicide, attempted suicide, mentions of suicidal thoughts, please do not read if any of these trigger you. And please check up on your friends. You never know what they are going through and refuse to tell anyone about.

Characters: Dean x reader, Sam x reader, Castiel x reader, Jack x reader, Bobby x reader

--

You continue to pace back and forth in the study. "Pacing won't help anything," Cas states as he sits down at the table. "It helps my nerves, that's all that's matters right now." "How are you holding up?" Cas says, looking to you with concern weighing on his ocean blue eyes.

"What if they hate us, Cas?" "He can't hate you, Y/N. You're like family." "No, you're like family. I'm just.. I don't know what I am. You heard Dean, he said we were dead to him." "He's just in pain and he needs us," "We'll see." The door creaks open and the sound of the door closing echoes through the bunker.

Sam's face weighed with sadness, his forehead is absent of it's normal concern creases and his eyes were red and puffy. Dean on the other hand, his face was a neutral but the vertical crease between his eyebrows dipped. "Dean," you say, trying to hold his hand but he pulls away from you sharply. "Don't," he says before pushing past you.

"He just needs time," Sam says before approaching you. "Sam, I.. I'm so sorry." Cas says. "I know," Sam says softly before returning his gaze back to you. "I'll go check on Dean," Cas says before leaving the room. More tears escape Sam's eyes and you take his hand to lead his to his room. He follows you go the room and you close the door when you both lock in.

He sits on the edge of the bed and combs a hand through his hair. You stand in front of him and he looks up at you as he unravels before you eyes. You sit down next to him and his lips quivers. "Come here," you say, opening your arms and he leans into your shoulder. Your hold the back of his head and sobs into you.

The more time passed, the more intense his sobs became. Tears prick your eyes out of guilt and you lean your head against his temple. You were the support role for the Winchesters. The sound board of sorts. Even Mary came to your help for advice when she messed things up with the boys. She said that you knew them better than she did, well, the adult versions anyway.

You met the Winchesters through Bobby when you assisted with stopping the Leviathans and you just kept running into each other in various states. You were convinced that they were stalking you and they were convinced you were stalking them. You did not have any close family telling you to stop hunting, all you really had was Bobby. So you continued to find and go on hunts.

Soon enough, you ended up tagging along with the Winchesters and grew closer with each hunt. Sam is more in tune with his emotions, unlike Dean. Dean sees showing emotions as weak. Any other emotion outside of anger is rejected by him.

He was pissed at you and Cas, you knew it. And what's scares you is that you've never seen him that angry before, let alone at you.

The look he gave when he said if Mary was dead, that you were dead to him, sent chills down your spine. You love and depend on these boys. You would hope that the feeling would be reciprocated, but you're starting to question that. After thirty minutes of holding Sam and drawing circles on his scalp, he falls asleep.

You gently pull yourself away and kiss his forehead before quietly leaving. "You can't keep pushing yourself away, Dean," "Enough of this! Stop pretending to care! If you cared, you would have told me that there was something wrong with Jack ages ago!" "Hey, what's with all the yelling?" You ask, walking into the study.

"Sam is finally sleeping," you add. "How could he sleep after we just buried our mother?" "Hours of crying can drain your energy, believe me." You answer vaguely, not wanting to expose yourself.

"Why are you guys even here? It's clear what side you're on," "There are no sides here, Dean." "Yes there are. There's our side and there is Jack's side. Obviously, you're on his."

"You hated him from the beginning like some how he could control who his father was," Castiel defends. "And clearly I was right because she killed my mom!" Dean yells. "We don't even know the full story, Dean." You say. "I don't care about the whole story. It's about an eye for an eye now." "Dean, come on,"

"No, I think you guys should leave. Go somewhere else, anywhere else besides here." "You know that something goes wrong with the plan. Something always goes wrong," Castiel says. "Yeah, and why does that's something always seems to be you?" Dean snaps. "The angel with the bent halo and the leech overtook their stay," he adds.

"You don't mean that," you whimper with tears threatening your eyes. "I mean every single word." Dean snarks as he nears you. "Since Bobby introduced us, you were like a parasite trying to find it's host in us. No one else wanted you so you thought that we did. Sammy may have made you think that you're needed here but you're just a burgen. And that's all you ever will be," Dean spits.

A sharp pain pierced through your heart and you felt like you were going to be sick. "And you--" "Enough, Dean. You've said enough," Castiel snaps, knowing you were barely holding it together.

"I'll be gone by morning," you say softly before walking into your room. You close the door and lock the door behind you. Your eyes fall to the drawer where you hide your thin razor.

Everytime you relapse, you make the same promise to yourself saying that this is the last time and things will get better. But truthfully, things have only gotten worse and now you question if there's even a point from refraining. You slowly approach the drawer and open the top hatch to reveal the razor.

You take it's thin presence in your hand and smooth your thumb over it. You walk to the bathroom to take off your pants and pull down your underwear a little to see the other faint scars litter your butt and thighs.

You sigh and look at yourself like the filthy, disgusting scar that you were. Just as you were about to dig the razor in when I hear the door knob jiggle. "Y/N, it's me." Cas calls from the other side of the door.

The sweat from your palm makes the razor slicks and it slides right out of your hands. "Wait, no!" You watch helplessly as the razor falls down the unnaturally large drain. "Y/N, is everything alright?" Cas askss. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just need a minute," you call but fear got the best of Cas. He used his wings to fly into the bathroom and he sees your scars.

You quickly pull up your pants and buckle them. He opens his mouth to speak but you go off on a frantic tangent. "Castiel please don't tell them. If they find out that I'm doing this, they'll... they'll look at me like I'm some broken toy that needs fixing." "You are so much more than just a toy, Y/N," "It doesn't matter," "Stop dismissing yourself,"

"What can I say? I've been dismissed all my life, so I try to beat it to the punch." His face softens and he steps closer to you. "How long has this been going on?" "Since Bobby died,"

"That was yea-" "I know it was years ago but the pain is still fresh. I never got the chance to actually mourn him because I was busy helping the boys."

"Just please don't tell them," "Okay." You lean into his chest and he puts his head on top of yours as he hold you. He's less awkward than the first time I hugged him. "I'll pack my stuff tonight but can you drop me off in Boston. I've always wanted to go there." You ask. "Of course, if that's what you want." "Well what I want, I can't have. So this is the best alternative,"

"What do you want?" He asks, pulling away a little. "To escape," "Escape from the bunker or escape the world?" It's amazing how fast he catches on things now. He's come a long way from before. "Both," "Y/N-" "I'm fine, I'll be fine." "I'm sorry but I don't believe you. You've been suffering in silence while Dean takes out his suffering on you, it's not fair."

"Life isn't fair, Castiel. But if you really care about me, then you won't tell them and you'll let me leave. You'll let me escape," you say pushing on his chest. "Promise me," you add. "I promise," he says reluctantly. "Good," you walk back into the room and take out your duffel bags.

You can feel his stare on you but continue to pack. "You deserve better than this," "I'm not too sure about that. Hey, you mind stopping by the grocery store to pick up some snacks?" You ask. He eyes you suspiciously before saying, "Alright." He opens the door and walks out. You wait until the bunker door closes to pull out your laptop and scroll through your files until you come across ImSorry.mp3.

You click on it and look at yourself talking. This wasn't the first time you've had these deep, dark thoughts. But this is the first time they're winning. This seems like the best way to stop your pain. It'll be painless. You wait a few minutes to become one with your intentions.

A shaky breath leaves your lips before standing from the bed. You press pause on the video and activate the algorithm you created to send out the mp3 file an hour from now.

You should be gone by then. You close the laptop and advance towards the door. You walk past the kitchen and through the study when you hear Dean say, "Where are you going?" You stop in your tracks, careful not to let a sob slip. You take a deep breath before walking up the stairs to go to the garage.

"Y/N, wait," he says. You close the door and pick a random car in the garage to take out. You slowly drive out to the nearest bridge. You pull off to the side and put the car in park.

You hop outside and hold onto the ledge as you peer over. The water gushes and hits the massive rocks on the sides. Judging by the height of the bridge, it would kill you on impact.

You inhale sharply before hiking one of your legs over the ledge. You swing the other leg over and cautiously stand up on the ledge. Strong gusts of wind push and pull your hair every which way. You open your arms and close your eyes as you let the wind tug your body closer to the water.

Your feet stayed planted on the concrete ledge and you inhale the wet, salty air from the water below. "I'm sorry, Sam," you whisper. You hear a familiar hum of an engine. You look over your shoulder to see Dean getting out of the car. "Y/N, what the hell are you doing!" Dean yells.

You return your gaze back to the water and you move one foot off the ledge. "Damn it, I didn't mean anything I said. I.. I can't loose you too, please." You turn away from him to hide your tears. "Please, Y/N." "It's time that I be with Bobby, now Dean," "No!" You lean forward and lift off the ledge with your back foot.

Your hair covers your face, preventing you from seeing anything. And that's probably for the best. Gravity gains control of your body and you tumble down towards the water when you feel a strong hand grab your ankle.

Another hand grabs your waist pulls you back onto the ledge. Your eyes meet Dean's wide green eyes.

He pulls you down so your feet are planted on the ground. "You actually jumped. You were willing to die because of something I said," he says in disbelief. He holds the sides of you arms with a firm grip.

"Let me go, Dean," "I can't," "You were more than willing to push me away, how is this any different?" "Because I need you alive. Damn it, I need you."

He squeezes my arms and you stare into his eyes for a moment before looking over your shoulder at the water. He grabs your wrist and drags you towards the trunk of the Impala.

He lifts the trunk and grabs a pair of hand cuffs. He captures your wrists in the them and pushes you into the passenger side.

"Did you even think about us when you jumped?" He says sternly. You look out the window the entire ride back to the bunker. When he pulls into the garage, he lifts you out of the car and motions you to led the way back to the bunker's door. The door opens and there Sam and Cas stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"What happened? Why is she in handcuffs? And why did we get a I'm sorry video from you?" Sam asks frantically. You decided not to say anything and sit down at the table. Dean approaches them and tells them to go to the kitchen. He informs them of what you tried to do and Castiel was pissed.

"Im mean how can she be so selfish?" Dean snaps. "Selfish?" Sam repeats. He was about to say something else when Cas cuts him off. "You are such an asshole, Dean. She's dedicated more of her life and time to you both instead of herself. She hid her suffering and her pain to make sure you two were okay! She was hurting herself damn it, but of course you would give a damn about that!" Cas snaps.

"Cas," Sam mediates. "You have the nerve to shame her for having a big heart. I don't care if I'm dead to you because you blame me for Mary, you're dead to me for making Y/N believe that she'll never be good enough for you!" Cas spits. He pushes past them and makes his way over to Y/N long strides.

"Come on, Y/N, we're leaving." Cas motions you to stand up. You shake your head no and he adds, "You want to stay here?" "I don't know what I want, Cas, that's the problem."

"You should leave, put this -us- in your rearview mirror." Sam says, walking into the study. You shrug and lean your back into the chair. You lean your elbows on the table and rest your face in your hands.

"You could have told me, Y/N. You've been there for me more time than I can count. Let me help you." Sam says softly. "We can be there for you when you need it, Y/N. You just have to trust us." Cas says.

Sam pulls you in for a hug first and Cas followed suit. Dean walks into the study to see that they were hugging.

He didn't know what to do. He feels at fault for Y/N keeping to herself. He made everything about him and Sam and didn't think about how Y/N was holding up.

**

Even after Cas and Sam showed their support, you remained quiet. You appreciate their efforts, but nothing they can do is going to make you feel the closure that you needed to mourn Bobby.

You stayed behind with Charlie to make sure things went as planned on the flip side. Sam and Dean took Bobby to the hospital after Dick shot him in the head.

An hour after his surgery, he died and you never got the chance to say goodbye. "Are you sure this is going to work?" Dean asks Sam. "I really hope that it does." Sam says before looking to Cas. You were fresh out of the shower and in the process of pulling your hair into braids.

You heard a loud clash followed by the ground shaking. "Guys?" You rush out of the room and run to where you heard voices. "Sam? Dean? Castiel?" You call as you cough from the smoke entering your lungs. You swat away the smoke with your hand and continued to cough.

"We're alright," Dean says. The rest of them were coughing too and when the smoke and dust finally cleared, there stood Bobby in the middle of the dried twigs. Him in his favorite white and blue sea bass hat and the green rain jacket he always wore over his flannels.

"What are you idjits doin'! You know how many unwritten laws you're breakin' right now? Too many, that's how many," "Bobby?" You say in disbelief. "Hey pumpkin," he says with his face softening after yelling at the boys.

He knew you're past all too well and he tried his hardest to help you move past it. And here you are, right back where you started. Your body has a mind of its own and runs over to him. He reached out to smooth a hand over your hair and you gasp in disbelief that he was actually here.

"What happened to you, honey? I told you knuckle heads to take care of her," Bobby snarks. "I relapsed again, Bobby. I'm so sorry."

He holds the sides of your face and caresses the hood of your eyes with his thumbs. Bobby was not the physically affectionate type, but he knew that was the only way to show you that he cared.

"There's nothing for you to be ashamed about. You're human and you make mistakes." You duck your face to hide your tears from him and he pulls you into his chest.

You completely unravel and you sobs prevented your ability to breathe. You collapse to floor and Bobby followed you.

He cradled you into his arms and you sobbed into the crook of his arm. Bobby looks up to the boys and they stare at her. "What the hell happened?" "We don't really know. She's been in a rough patch, but we just don't know for how long." Sam says, watching Y/N's body tremble as she cries.

"You boys were suppose to take care of her," Bobby says. "We know, we-" "We failed her, I'm sorry, Bobby." Dean says, clenching his jaw. "Well don't tell me. Hug her and tell her you're sorry. And you better mean it, boy," he commands.

Dean reluctantly kneels down next to you and tugs you towards his chest. You lean your head into his collarbone and holds the side of your head. You sniffle a little but furrow your brow when you hear him sniffle. "I'm so sorry."

You wrap your arms around his neck and rest your head on his shoulder. "Let's give em' a minute, we're all going to take some turns getting our heads out of ours ass. Come on," Bobby says, motioning the rest of the crew to leave.

[stonersheep]

Gary the protector of trolls

King peppy looked on to his people as he left his pod smiling and care free. He could see everyone either playing together or learning new dance moves, but in the corner of his eye peppy saw a shadow quickly move from one part of the village to another. Even though everyone is happy king peppy knows that they are in a dangerous part of the forest so the burgens wouldnt think to look here. King peppy always had to be on alert, patrolling every day smiling through the sea of trolls so they did not worry. Even though they had escaped from burgen town they still always had that fear in the back of their hearts.Happly king peppy makes his way through his subjects and makes his way to where the shadow figure was last seen. Looking through the grass he sees nothing. While searching he hears his lovely daughter's voice giggling, poppy is hanging with her little friends playing hug tag. A few feet off king peppy sees the shadow figure watching poppy as well. Without anyone noticing peppy lungs at the shadow. To his surprise its a small gray troll, branch the orphan. He refuses to reintegrate with the village or any family, living in a little hole on the outskirts of the village. Poor boy he wants to play with the kids. A terrified branch goes “im sorry king peppy i didnt mean to bother you daughter and her friends… I was just… keeping an eye out for burgens… Ya thats it.” Peppy chuckled “thats my job, hence the surprise boy. Why not go play with the other children.” Branch gets a terrified look on his face and starts to stammer. “I…i dont think i can.. I mean they are all happy and singing and im not much of a singer… Oh king peppy its getting pretty late i better head home. Thank you for your advice gotta go” branch bows and runs away. That child is so strange. King peppy continues the patrol even if the strange shadow was branch you never know who may be out there.. Finally finish checking all of troll village with the sun setting king peppy realised that he cant keep doing this everyday. The trolls will wonder why he would be so serious…

Days past and king peppy continues to keep an eye on the village. After a wonderful song and dance made from his daughter, a glitter troll comes running in with another purple troll its poppys friends creek and guy diamond…“king peppy come quick branch is hurting an animal.” Branch that shy boy? Why would he hurt an animal? Rushing to the scene he comes across branch smirking looking up at some contraption wrapping up a small figure. “Branch whats going on here” peppy bellows. The smirk quickly disappears from branch’s face. K..kking peppy im sorry im sorry i was trying to protect the village.. Branch’s voice fades as peppy starts to think. My goodness this is a young growl beast. If he caught this one the pack is not far behind. “Let him down branch.” “bb..but king peppy this thing can hurt the village!” Branch shouted, king peppy looks to guy diamond and creek “you two go back to the village and thank you for telling me what’s going back on.” both of them look reluctantly at each other and tell the king in unison “yes king peppy.” king peppy turns back to branch as he lets the growl beast go it scampers off whimpering. Peppy goes to branch his shadow looming over him, “do you know what that was branch?” Peppy asked “No Sir it just kept creeping near the village so i set up my net trap.” “Your net trap?” “yes Sir its a safe way to protect us without getting hurt i…i just wanted to help” Branch says shyly. King peppy’s mental gears begun to turn… Maybe i can get two hugs at once with this situation… “Branch how would you be my special helper?” peppy asked branch’s eyes get wide with shock. “You want me to be your special helper… I.. Dont know maybe you should ask someone else.. I dont really think can help you..” branch said disappointingly King peppy chuckled “my boy your actually the only troll who can. You see your not the only one who thinks protecting us isnt a bad idea, but i dont want the trolls to worry so i pretend its not a big deal but maybe you can help me… Do you think you could help me set up some kind of system to protect everyone?” branch’s eyes light up “king peppy really!!! I have a ton of ideas to make the village safer and better like tin cans hanging on all pods to alert for noises..” As branch goes on peppy couldnt help but smile he was afraid this boy would never want to be apart of the village but he wanted to be apart of it all along. Coming back to reality king peppy cut off the young branch… “Why not start putting up the defenses and ill check you tomorrow” branch smilies and runs off.. Glad to know that boys not to different than the rest of us.

The next day rolls around and king peppy looks for branch while making his daily rounds. Finally he finds branch in the outskirts of the beach “branch my boy how goes everything” branch had bags under his eyes and seemed out of breath but quiet pleased with himself. “Im finally finished your majesty” “with your trap?” peppy asked curiously. “With my hole defense system for troll village” branch says confidently. “Branch you didnt have to my boy we just need a few here and there.” Peppy says abit in shock. Branch looks down embarrassed "im sorry i just realised that you spend every day patrolling troll village while putting on smiling face… I want that smiling face care free.. Ill take over protecting the village if youd let me.“ While saying all this he pulls out a small box like thing… "Whats this?” peppy asks “it what controls all the defense system” branch replies. Peppy smiling big and bright takes the controller and uses it to lightly touch each of branch’s shoulders. “I king Peppy leader of the trolls apoint you branch the secret protector of troll village.” Peppy bellows at branch who a looks up at the king with a proud smile something he has ever seen from this child. “I promise i wont let you down your majesty” branch says proudly. King peppy parts ways from the boy, finally everything is settling in their new home.

A fews days past branch is checking up on the traps when he comes across some young trolls playing. Should he talk to them? Hes the kings secret protector he can play with some fellow kids… Right? He trys to get the courage to head over there when one troll breaks away from the pack, its princess poppy she seems so happy as she runs.. Straight into a trap!!! In a panic branch comes out of the grass screaming at poppy..“WATCH OUT!!” branch pushes her out of the way. She looks up at him hurt and confused.. “Why did you do that??” “im sorry are you ok i didnt mean to hurt you you were just about to..” he got cut off when a purple troll came up to the princess picking her up. “Are you alright poppy your not hurt are you?” The purple troll asked making a rude look at branch. “Im fine creek just startled,” poppy looks to branch “that was rude of you why would you do that?” “im sorry princess poppy i didnt mean to hurt you, you where about to get caught by one of my traps.” branch said apologetically. “Traps! Your that weird kid who lives on the edge of the village who likes to trap helpless animals” creek says “poppy come on lets play somewhere else” creek continues in a whisper “what if he tries to trap us” branch hearing some of the whispering “im not trying to trap you… Im trying to trap burgens and other intruders.” “burgens aren’t going to find us” Poppy says confidently “come on poppy lets get out of here before his sadness infects us.” creek says grabbing poppy by the arm slowly walking way. Poppy looks to branch then to her friend and reluctantly follows… Branch looks down at his controller.. Stupid traps… Stupid burgens… Stupid controller..as he thought it he throws the controller to the ground in defeat… Stupid me… Why would anyone wanna be my friend… Im so different no matter how hard i fit in….

Looking at his controller a new feeling swells inside… So what if they dont wanna be my friends i dont need them.. I have a friend the best friend.. Pickung up the controller he looks at it and says out loud “i have you gary and my traps. If no one likes me for me thats all i need”…