#but she's trying to be more subtle about it by saying they will be different and imply hers will be better by virtue of her being ayumi
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slut4megantheestallion · 1 day ago
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˚ ⋆ .Squid Game characters x Flirty!reader Headcannons
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˖⁺‧₊ ˚✧Hc squid game characters with a flirty reader.˚ ⋆
Character: Thanos, Myung-gi, Gi-hun, in-ho, jun-ho, Sae-byeok, dae-ho.
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-Thanos (Choi su-bong)
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● If you flirt with him, oh, he's gonna flirt with you back, and he's not gonna stop. He'll flirt right back one, one-upping your flirty comments with exaggerated gestures. He'll say some corny shit like, "Is it getting hot in here, or is it just you, senorita?" He teases. He loves attention and knows how to turn it into a game.
●He'll randomly just start rapping just for you, making sure the attention is all on you. "Yeah, she's so fine, no need to pretend, got me rapping for her, again and again," he'd rap while laughing.
● Thanos loves when you react with his flirty antics, and he'll keep pushing boundaries. He thrives on attention and will keep making bold moves to keep your attention on him. He's not subtle with it he'll always make sure you know he's interested, even if it's a bit obnoxious.
● He might be playful and goofy and making jokes. He's really stubborn if you play hard to get. He'll keep coming at you, pushing your buttons just to see how you'll react. He just loves the chase.
-Myung-Gi
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●Myung-gi isn't the type to outwardly flirt back, but he'll notice you more than anyone else. If you flirt with him, he'll most likely respond with a long, intense gaze, his expression unreadable. He doesn't get flustered, but he's intrigued by your flirty personality and the attention.
● if you continue to flirt with him, his responses would be quiet and calculated. "You seem different." He might say showing interest he isn't loud or bold he just wants to keep things mysterious and make you wonder if he's truly interested
● he's the type to observe before making any moves. He wouks keep you on your toes with his silent and subtle actions. While he's not overt with his affections,he'll make an effort to be around you more often, taking mental notes of your reactions
●He's not going to say to much outright, but if he's drawn to you, he might offer small, thoughtful comments like, "You stand out among the rest." Or someone that feels cryptic yet genuine.
-Gi-hun
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●Gi-hun would likely be nervous and awkwardly if you flirt with him, especially in such a dangerous environment. He'd provide laugh nervously, unsure how to rest, "Uhh... thanks?" Hell say, completely unsure of how to handle the attention.
● Despite his awkwardness, gi-hun would be genuine in his responses. If you continue flirting with him, he might get more comfortable, offering sweet but clumsy compliments. "You really think I'm.. worth your time?" He might ask, unsure of himself but flattered.
● as he grows more comfortable with you, he might begin to flirt back with his own goofy charm. "I'm not the best guy, but I'm glad you're giving a chance," he might say, trying to make you smile.
● His flirtation might be quiet but sincere. He might offer to help you with something or share food, showing affection in ways that aren't loud but are deeply caring.
-In-ho
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●In-ho, is always in control. He's never caught off guard, and he'll never be overwhelmed by flirtation. If you flirt with him, his response will be calm and composed, and even a little cryptic. He honestly finds the flirty tension a game.
●He might use his flirting to keep you intrigued, but it's all a part of his bigger plan. He'll charm you, only to make you feel like you're in his grasp. "You don't realize how much power you have, do you?" He might say while gently manipulating the conversation.
●He won't overtly show interest, but you can tell he enjoys having your attention. He might drop hints about how you're a valuable player in the game, subtly praising your actions, all while keeping you at arm's length, maintaining the upper hand.
●He won't hesitate to make the flirtation feel dangerous, and if it's playful, it's always with an undertone of power and control. He might enjoy the chase, but he's always thinking one step ahead.
-Hwang jun-ho
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●Honestly the flirtation might catch him off guard. He's not used to attention being drawn to him in that way, so he might act a little surprised. "Why are you flirting with me in a place like this?" He asks, trying to stay focused.
●Despite his initial surprise, he would still be protective. He would probably respond to your flirtation by trying to shield you from danger in submitting ways.
●His flirtation would be hesitant at first, but over time, if you show genuine interest, he might soften, but he'd still have his guard up.
● if you continue to flirt with him, you might find that hwang jun-ho shows his affection through small acts of kindness, like bringing you someone to eat or standing up for you when others threaten you. He may not say much, but his actions would speak volumes.
-Dae-ho
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●When you flirt with him, it throws him off. He responds politely at first, thinking you're just teasing. "Persistent, aren't you?" He says with a small smile.
●your playful remarks or brushing against him make him freeze for a second, followed by a subtle blush. He clears his throat and tries to redirect the focus, but his stiff posture gives him away.
●He's fiercely protective of you, standing close in dangerous situations or subtly moving between you and others. If someone flirts with you he won't confront them directly but will watch them with a quiet intensity.
●Over time, he starts to enjoy our teasing, responding with calm, understated flirtation that catches you off guard. "If you're trying to distract me it's working."
●In quieter times, he softens, showing affection through small but meaningful gestures-offering you food, ensuring you rest, standing watch.
●Dae-ho is so cute, loyal, and protective, making you feel deeply cherished even without grand gestures. His calm demeanor compliments your playful energy.
-Sae-byeok
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● if you flirt with Sae-byeok, she'll probably be taken off guard. She's not used to receiving attention in such a forward way.
● Sae-byeok might get sarcastic with her responses, trying to deflect the flirtation. She'd tease you, turning the tables to see how you respond. "If you think I'm impressed by yourcharm, you're wrong." She says, but you'll know it's half-joking.
●Though Sae-byeok's hard to crack, the more you flirt with her, the more she starts to soften, though she'll never admit it. If you show genuine interest, she might get a little less cold over time, even if she'll always keep up her tough exterior.
●After a while,Sae-byeok may surprise you with moments of quiet affection- like a unexpected compliment or a protective gesture when you need it. Her flirting is more subtle, but when she does show her interest in you, it'll be in an unexpected but meaningful way.
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darlinluxx · 3 days ago
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𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓 | 𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐀𝐄 𝐁𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐊 ౨ৎ
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request from : @erika-mon2-blog “Hi sweetie! I saw that you were accepting requests for Saebyeok, and I would love to ask you for one. I recently came across your profile and I'm in love with it! I'd love something along the lines of a sweet and clingy *reader* and a cold and unaffected Saebyeok; I know it's not a specific request, but I just want to see Saebyeok fighting against his cold attitude to please his favorite person. 😭🩷”
pairing : saebyeok x fem!reader
fluff
warnings : none
summary : you and saebyeok are complete opposites. i guess it’s true what they say : opposites attract
a/n : thank u sm <33 i literally just finished this fic as you sent me this lmao perfect timing !!
if you have any requests, feel free to message me <3
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𝐓he chipped paint of your apartment wall is the same shade as the chipped paint of the subway station Saebyeok seems to gravitate towards. except here, in your little corner of Seoul, there’s a soft blanket draped over the worn couch, the aroma of jasmine tea lingering in the air, and the sunlight spills in, warm and inviting. the subway station? it’s cold, concrete, and constantly echoing with the anxieties of the city.
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you hum softly, arranging the hydrangeas in a vase until they’re just so — a perfect, delicate dance of blue and purple. Saebyeok, on the other hand, isn’t about delicate dances. she’s more cold and quiet storms. and yet, somehow, you’ve found yourselves woven together.
you hear her before you see her. the jingle of the keys she pulls from her pocket, a small, almost involuntary noise that always makes your heart flutter. she’s in the doorway, silhouette framed against the hallway light, a stark contrast to the soft glow of your living room.
“hey.” she says, her voice low and a little rough, like gravel being shifted beneath the tide. she doesn’t look at you directly, her gaze fixed on the floor, her hands shoved deep in the pockets of her dark green jacket. it’s a gesture you’ve come to know well: the guarded posture of someone who’s used to fending for themselves.
“hi,” you say, your smile immediate and genuine. you leave the hydrangeas, walking over to her and pulling her in for a hug. your hands brush against the cold fabric of her jacket, a reminder of the world she moves through — a world so different from the one you curate within these four walls.
she stiffens for a moment, unused to the physical expression of affection, before relaxing, her breath ghosting against your neck. it’s a small victory, something you treasure.
“anything good happen today?” you ask, your voice light even though you suspect the answer might be in the negative. you know about the struggles; the constant search for her family, the need to survive. but you believe in offering her a soft place to land.
Saebyeok shrugs, a slight lift of her shoulders. “the same.” she says, which could mean anything, or nothing at all. you don’t press her. you know she’ll tell you when she’s ready, in her own time, in her own way.
instead, you lead her to the couch, tucking a soft blanket around her shoulders. you bring her the tea, the steam swirling around your face, a faint wisp of comfort in the stillness of the room.
“how was your day?” she asks, her eyes finally lifting to meet yours. you told her about your day. Saebyeok listens, her gaze intense as if she’s trying to decipher a complex puzzle. you suspect it is that for her; all the vibrant color, the soft petals, the open displays of merriment — it’s a foreign landscape.
she doesn’t comment much, but you can feel her presence, hear the subtle shift in her body as she adjusts on the couch, moving closer to you. in her quiet way, she’s here, present, with you.
later, as you’re both curled up on the couch, a book of poetry open in your lap, you lean against Saebyeok, your head resting on her shoulder. she runs her fingers through your hair, a habit she’s developed, a small gesture of intimacy.
you, with your bright colors and gentle nature, and Saebyeok, with her shadows and guarded heart, are an unlikely pair. but here, in this small apartment surrounded by soft light and the scent of jasmine, you understand why this works. you are her anchor, the bright spot in her storm. and she, well, she is the grounding force that keeps you from floating too far away, reminding you that there’s a strength in silence, in resilience, in surviving even the harshest of storms. and in this quiet intimacy, you know, with absolute certainty, that this love, two different worlds colliding, is exactly what you both need.
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mywhisperingwords · 2 days ago
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am i what you wanted? | fred g. weasley
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summary: casual. no strings. just something to forget the loneliness. right? word count: 7.6k masterlist
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The air at the party feels heavier than usual, like everyone is trying too hard to pretend they’re having a good time.
You’ve spent most of the night nursing a drink you don’t particularly like, offering polite smiles to people you barely know. It’s not your scene, but you came anyway because that’s what friends do—they drag you out, convince you it’ll be “fun,” and leave you regretting it by the second hour.
You’re just about ready to slip away when you spot him—Fred Weasley.
He’s leaning against the kitchen counter, casual and effortless as always, but there’s something different tonight. The usual spark in his eyes is dimmer, his smile not quite as wide. He’s talking to someone, but his gaze keeps drifting, like he’s only half paying attention.
You consider leaving without a word. After all, you’ve spent years perfecting the art of avoiding him. Not because you dislike him—quite the opposite.
Your stupid schoolgirl crush on him hasn’t quite fizzled out, no matter how much time has passed.
And of course, there was the matter of his latest relationship, a whirlwind romance with someone you considered a friend, Leah.
It would be wrong to approach him now, wouldn’t it?
But then Fred’s eyes land on you, and there’s no escaping. He gives you a faint smile, a shadow of his usual grin, and lifts his drink in a lazy sort of greeting. It’s an invitation, subtle but unmistakable. Against your better judgment, you cross the room.
“Fancy seeing you here,” he says, his voice low enough to cut through the background noise without effort.
You shrug, trying to seem unaffected. “Alicia dragged me out. Said I needed to get a life or something.”
Fred huffs a quiet laugh, looking down into his glass. “Sounds like something she’d say. George said the same to me, actually. Guess misery loves company.”
The comment surprises you. Fred doesn’t usually talk like that—so openly, so vulnerable. It’s enough to make you pause, to glance at him more carefully. “You don’t seem miserable,” you say, testing the waters.
He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he takes a long sip of his drink and stares past you, like he’s trying to find the right words. “You’d be surprised,” he finally says, his tone softer now.
It’s an opening, one you hadn’t expected but can’t ignore. “What happened?”
Fred glances around, his expression unreadable, before gesturing toward the balcony. “Do you mind? It’s a bit loud in here.”
You follow him outside, where the night air is cool and quiet compared to the chaos inside. He leans against the railing, staring out at the city lights, and you stand beside him, unsure of what to say.
“She left,” he says abruptly, and it takes you a moment to realize he’s talking about her—his ex.
“Oh.” It’s all you can manage.
Fred smiles faintly, but there’s no humor in it. “Yeah. Not the dramatic kind of leaving either. No big fight, no slamming doors. Just… stopped caring, I guess. Said it wasn’t enough for her.”
The confession stirs something in you, a mix of sympathy and something sharper, harder to define.
You’ve never known Fred to be anything but confident, self-assured. Seeing him like this—guarded, almost uncertain—it’s disarming.
“I’m sorry,” you say quietly, and you mean it.
He glances at you then, really looks at you, and for a moment, it feels like he’s seeing you for the first time. “It’s funny, isn’t it? How loneliness sneaks up on you. One day you think you’re fine, and the next, it’s like you can’t breathe.”
You nod, because you understand more than you’d like to admit. “Yeah. It’s awful.”
Fred studies you for a moment longer before offering a faint, almost wistful smile. “You get it.”
The words settle between you, warm and unspoken, and before you can overthink it, you say, “Maybe we’re just terrible at choosing the right people.”
Fred laughs then, a soft, genuine sound that eases some of the tension in your chest. “Maybe we are.”
It feels like an unspoken agreement, a quiet acknowledgment of shared pain. And when he leans just a little closer, his shoulder brushing against yours, you don’t pull away.
&
The door slams shut behind you both, barely closed before Fred’s hands are on your waist, pulling you closer. His mouth is on yours again, urgent and consuming, and the world outside this moment ceases to exist.
You’re not sure how it started—or maybe you do—but you’re too caught up in the feel of him, in the way he kisses like he’s unraveling a part of himself he’s never shown anyone.
Your back hits the edge of the couch, but Fred doesn’t stop. He moves with you, stumbling through the dark like neither of you can think beyond each other.
You barely make it to the bedroom. A trail of discarded shoes and jackets marks the path, forgotten in the haze.
He pauses only briefly, just enough to catch his breath, his forehead resting against yours. “This��” he begins, his voice rough, barely a whisper. “This is what I needed. Something… easy. No expectations.”
The words are quiet but land with a weight that sticks somewhere in your chest. You know what he means—casual, uncomplicated, something to dull the ache of loneliness he spoke of earlier.
Your heart lurches, but your mind, clouded with want and the intoxicating proximity of him, nods before you can think it through. “Yeah,” you murmur, barely above a whisper. “Me too.”
The lie tastes bitter even as the kiss resumes, as his lips trail down your neck, as his hands find your skin. You tell yourself you’re fine with this. It’s Fred, and it’s what he wants. Isn’t it better to have this than nothing at all?
When morning comes, he’s gone.
You’re not surprised—he doesn’t strike you as the type to linger—but the silence in the room feels deafening. The sheets are cold where he was, and you stare at the ceiling, replaying his words in your head.
Something easy. No expectations.
Your agreement, muffled and uncertain, rings louder now. You agreed. This is what you signed up for. So why does your chest ache? Why does it feel like you’ve made a mistake you can’t undo?
You sit up, the mess of the night scattered around you—a shirt draped over the chair, an overturned glass on the table. It’s all so mundane, yet it feels like the air has shifted in your room, like the walls are pressing in.
You bury your face in your hands, letting out a slow, measured breath. Maybe this wasn’t the right decision. But you can’t change it now. Fred was what you wanted for so long, wasn’t he? Maybe this is all you get.
Maybe this is all you’re allowed to have.
You hope you can convince yourself of that.
&
The pub is buzzing, laughter and conversation spilling out from every corner as you sit wedged between Alicia and George.
Fred is across from you, casually leaning back in his chair, a pint of beer balanced between his long fingers. His laughter blends with the noise around you, effortlessly charming, as always.
It’s easy to forget, in moments like this, that this is supposed to be casual. Easy.
You catch yourself watching him longer than you should, noting the way his hair falls into his eyes when he laughs, the way his smile lingers just enough to make your stomach twist.
You remind yourself to look away.
The conversation circles back to someone’s recent breakup, a natural segue into a casual remark about Fred’s ex.
It’s Angelina, sitting two seats down, who says it without malice—just an innocent mention of the girl who was once by his side.
“You were so into her, Fred. Thought you two were endgame, honestly,” she says with a smile, tipping her glass toward him.
Fred’s expression flickers, just for a second, but it’s enough to change the energy at the table. The easy grin falters, his fingers tightening around the glass. “Yeah, well,” he says, voice light but guarded, “things don’t always work out the way you think they will.”
The group catches on quickly, steering the conversation elsewhere, but you can’t take your eyes off him. There’s something in the way his shoulders tense, in the way he avoids eye contact, that makes your chest tighten.
The rest of the evening is a blur of noise and small talk. You find yourself gravitating toward the bar, needing space, needing air. But you don’t get far.
Fred appears beside you, leaning on the counter with a quiet sigh. His eyes are darker now, shadows of something unspoken behind them. He doesn’t say anything, just glances at you, and suddenly the air feels heavier.
“Come with me,” he mutters all of the sudden, so low you almost don’t hear it.
You hesitate, your heart skipping, but you follow.
He leads you down a narrow hallway, past the kitchen, until you’re standing outside the bathroom door. He checks once over his shoulder before pulling you in, locking the door behind him.
“Fred, what are you—”
He cuts you off, his mouth crashing into yours with a force that takes your breath away.
It’s messy, hurried, like he’s trying to drown something out. His hands find your waist, pressing you against the cold tile wall, and you can feel the tension in his grip, the desperation in the way he kisses you.
It’s different this time—more frantic, less controlled. There’s no room to think, no space for words, just the heat of him against you and the quiet hum of the pub muffled beyond the door.
When it’s over, you’re both catching your breath, the silence settling around you like a weight. Fred’s forehead rests against yours, and for a moment, it feels like he might say something—something real, something vulnerable.
But then he steps back, adjusting his shirt, his eyes not quite meeting yours. “Thanks,” he mutters, almost too softly, and the word hits you like a slap.
You blink, trying to find something to say, but he’s already unlocking the door, slipping out like nothing happened.
You’re left standing there, the cold tiles against your back, your pulse still racing. You stare at the empty space where he was, your mind replaying the moment in vivid detail.
Something about this feels wrong. But then again, wasn’t this what you agreed to?
&
It’s late. Later than late, really, with the kind of stillness in the air that only comes when the rest of the world is sleeping.
But you’re wide awake, perched on the edge of your couch with a half-empty glass of wine in your hand, listening to the faint hum of the city outside.
You don’t know why you’re waiting.
Or maybe you do, but admitting it feels like giving it more weight than it deserves.
It’s been a few days since you saw Fred—since he showed up at your door for the first time, with that crooked smile and a cocky, unspoken challenge in his eyes.
You hadn’t known what to expect then, and you still don’t know now. But when you hear the knock at your door, your chest tightens in anticipation anyway.
You set the glass down and cross the room, opening the door to find him leaning against the frame, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket.
“Bit late for a social call, don’t you think?” you tease, though your voice wavers just slightly.
Fred grins, that easy, practiced grin that always feels like it’s hiding something. “Thought you might say that. But then, you’re still awake, aren’t you?”
You roll your eyes and step aside, letting him in. He walks past you, his steps slow and deliberate, like he’s taking his time to assess the space.
It’s not the first time he’s been here, but he looks around like it is, his gaze lingering on the small details you’d never think to notice.
“You always keep it this tidy?” he asks, turning to face you with a smirk.
“I knew you were coming, didn’t I?” you shoot back, closing the door behind him.
Fred laughs, the sound low and warm, and suddenly the room feels smaller.
It’s always like this with him—this electric push and pull that leaves you feeling off-balance and exhilarated all at once.
He shrugs off his jacket, tossing it carelessly onto the back of a chair, and then he’s sitting on your couch like he’s been doing it for years.
You join him, keeping a safe distance between you, but it doesn’t matter. The tension fills the space anyway, a quiet, unspoken thing neither of you is willing to address.
“So,” Fred says, his eyes flicking to the wine glass you left on the table. “Drinking alone, are we? Rough night?”
You laugh softly, shaking your head. “Not rough. Just… quiet.”
Fred hums, leaning back and stretching an arm along the back of the couch. His fingers are close enough to brush your shoulder, but they don’t.
“Well,” he says after a beat, “I’m good at making noise. Want me to liven things up?”
You turn to look at him, arching a brow at his choice of words. “That depends. What exactly do you have in mind?”
He grins again, wider this time, and before you know it, you’re caught up in one of his ridiculous stories—something about a prank that went wrong back at Hogwarts and ended with George covered in soot and screaming about cursed cauldrons.
You’re laughing so hard your sides hurt, the kind of laugh that feels like it’s shaking loose all the tension you’ve been carrying for days. Fred is laughing too, his head thrown back, his shoulders shaking.
And for a moment, it’s easy to forget the doubts gnawing at the edges of your mind.
But then the story ends, and the laughter fades, and the room feels too quiet again.
Fred’s laughter dies in his throat first. He turns his head toward you, the space between you charged, his expression softening as his eyes flicker to your lips.
“You’re staring,” you whisper, trying to keep your tone light, but your pulse betrays you.
“Am I?” he murmurs back, his voice low and teasing, but there’s something in his gaze that makes it hard to breathe.
You don’t know who moves first—maybe it’s him, maybe it’s you—but suddenly, the space between you disappears. His mouth meets yours in a rush of heat and hunger, and your body reacts without thought, your hands tangling in his hair as he pulls you closer.
He tastes like mint and something else, something unmistakably Fred, and for a moment, it feels like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
It starts like it always does—feverish and desperate, hands searching, breaths stolen. Fred’s hands find the hem of your shirt, tugging it over your head, and your back hits the cushions of the couch before you even realize you’ve moved.
But somewhere in the middle of it—between the hurried kisses and the whispered curses—something shifts.
His touch slows, his fingers trailing along your skin with an almost reverent softness. He presses his forehead to yours, his breath warm against your lips, and for a fleeting moment, it feels like there’s more to this than just a casual arrangement.
Your chest tightens, and you open your mouth to say something, anything, but the words catch in your throat.
Fred pulls back slightly, just enough to look at you, his eyes searching yours like he’s trying to figure out if you feel it too.
But then the moment passes, and he closes his eyes, shaking his head like he’s dismissing some unwelcome thought. He presses a lingering kiss to your collarbone before shifting his weight and standing, grabbing his jacket from the chair.
“Leaving already?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
Fred hesitates, his back to you. “Yeah,” he says, his tone lighter than the moment calls for. “Gotta keep you wanting more, don’t I?”
The grin he throws over his shoulder is forced, you think, but you don’t call him on it.
You watch him leave, the door clicking shut behind him, and you’re left alone again, your chest tight and your mind racing.
This is what you signed up for, you remind yourself. Casual. Fun. No strings attached.
So why does it already feel like so much more?
&
The party isn’t much different from the last one. A haze of laughter and music hangs in the air, the dimly lit living room thrumming with energy as bodies mill about. You’re leaning against a wall, clutching a drink, when you spot him across the room.
Fred.
Your breath catches—not because you didn’t expect him to be here, but because it’s the first time you’ve seen him like this since everything began.
In the few weeks since that night, he’s always shown up at your door under cover of darkness, a secret that slips away before the world wakes. Now, he’s here, among friends, out in the open. It feels… surreal.
His eyes catch yours, a flicker of something unreadable crossing his face before he looks away. You should probably do the same, pretend he’s just another person at the party, someone you barely know outside of shared jokes and casual conversations.
But something about seeing him here, the same Fred everyone else knows, tangles in your chest.
The game between you feels different now. Riskier.
You manage to avoid each other for most of the night, though you’re painfully aware of him. The way his laugh carries over the music. The effortless charm in the way he leans against the kitchen counter, surrounded by people.
But it’s when you least expect it that it happens.
You’ve slipped into the quiet hallway, hoping for a moment to breathe. He appears from nowhere, leaning casually against the wall a few feet away. His hands are shoved in his pockets, and he looks at you like you’re the only person in the world.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he says, low enough that no one else could hear.
You swallow, refusing to meet his gaze. “You’ve been avoiding me too.”
A ghost of a smirk crosses his face. “Fair enough.”
For a moment, neither of you speaks. The silence stretches, filled only by the distant hum of the party, the bass thudding like a heartbeat. Then he shifts closer—too close, considering the thin walls and prying eyes just a room away.
“This is risky,” you murmur, though you don’t move away.
“Since when do you mind risky?” he counters, his voice teasing but quiet. There’s a flicker of warmth in his tone, a reminder of those moments when he’s let his guard down just enough to let you in.
You should push him away, but you don’t.
Instead, you glance up, and for the briefest second, he looks at you like he’s about to say something important. Something real. But he doesn’t. He’s Fred, after all.
Instead, his hand brushes yours, a fleeting touch that sends a shiver down your spine. “You know I shouldn’t be here,” he mutters, more to himself than to you.
You hesitate, your chest tightening. “Then why are you?”
He doesn’t answer right away. His fingers graze your wrist, light and hesitant, before he steps back, creating a distance that feels far too wide.
“I shouldn’t be,” he says again, as though repeating it will make it true. Then, softer, “But I am.”
The air between you feels heavier than it should. He’s pulling away again, retreating into the shell of secrecy he’s so carefully built. It frustrates you more than it should.
“You don’t have to make this so complicated,” you say, surprising even yourself.
Fred’s jaw tightens. He glances at the door leading back to the party, his gaze distant, before his eyes flicker back to you. “You think it’s that easy?”
You don’t answer, because you don’t know how to.
Instead, he leans in, his voice a whisper. “Careful. Someone might see us.” His words are teasing, but there’s an edge of something sharper beneath them.
And then he’s gone, disappearing back into the crowd as though nothing happened.
You’re left standing there, your heart racing and your thoughts tangled in ways you can’t quite unravel.
The rest of the night passes in a blur. You don’t see him again, but his presence lingers like a shadow, like a secret you can’t escape.
And when you finally leave the party, stepping out into the cool night air, you can’t help but wonder if this game you’re playing is one you’ll ever win—or if it’s one you’ll lose before it even truly begins.
&
It’s been days since the party.
Days of wondering if Fred will show up again, if you’ll hear that familiar knock on your door in the dead of night. He doesn’t call, doesn’t send any owl—not that you expected him to. But his absence still gnaws at you.
When the knock finally comes, it’s past midnight. You hesitate for a moment, standing barefoot in the hallway, staring at the door like it might vanish if you blink. Then, as if on instinct, you reach for the handle.
Fred is there, leaning against the frame, his hair tousled, his expression unreadable. He doesn’t say anything, just steps inside, his hands finding your waist almost immediately.
It’s fast, like always. A trail of kisses down your neck, murmured words you can barely catch, and then you’re stumbling toward the bedroom. It’s almost routine now—the way he knows exactly how to pull you apart, the way he leaves before the sun comes up.
It’s the same pattern, the same urgency, like he’s trying to chase away whatever’s haunting him.
Only this time, he leaves without saying much of anything. A quick glance back, a muttered “I’ll see you,” and then the door clicks shut behind him.
The quiet that follows feels heavier than it should. You sit on the edge of the bed for a long time, staring at the empty doorway, wondering why the familiar ache feels sharper tonight.
&
Alicia’s offer couldn’t come at a better time. “You need a reset,” she says, twirling her straw in her iced tea. “Seriously, this guy is perfect. Smart, funny, normal. Give it a shot.”
It’s not like you have anything better to do, so you agree.
The date is fine. Fine. Paul is nice—charming, even—but there’s no spark. By the end of the night, you’re both laughing about how you’d make better friends than anything else.
It’s late when you finally get home, the streets quiet and dimly lit. You’re fishing for your keys when you notice the shadow near your door.
Fred.
He’s leaning against the frame, his hands stuffed into his pockets. He looks up as you approach, his gaze flickering to the key in your hand before settling on your face.
“You’re out late,” he says, his voice casual.
“I had plans,” you reply, matching his tone as you unlock the door. You don’t elaborate, and neither does he.
Inside, the tension follows you, crackling in the air as you set your bag down and turn to face him. He’s watching you, his expression neutral but his shoulders taut, like he’s holding something back.
“How were the plans?” he asks, his voice steady, but there’s an edge to it you can’t quite place.
“They were fine,” you say. “We’re better off as friends.”
He nods, his lips pressing into a thin line, and for a moment, you think that’s the end of it. But then he’s stepping closer, his hands finding your waist like they always do.
This time, it’s different. His kisses are rougher, his grip firmer, but there’s something else underneath it—a quiet desperation, like he’s trying to claim something without admitting it. His hands linger longer, his lips move slower, and you let yourself lean into it, pretending not to notice the shift.
Afterward, he’s quiet again, lying beside you in the dark. The air feels heavier, and you can sense the walls going back up before he even moves to get dressed.
As he pulls on his shirt, he pauses, standing by the door with his back to you. For a moment, it seems like he’s about to say something, but instead, he runs a hand through his hair and exhales softly.
Then, just before he leaves, he glances back over his shoulder, his gaze flickering to yours. “Let me know when you’re too busy.”
It’s barely a whisper, so quiet you almost miss it. But there’s something in the way he says it, something unsaid lurking beneath the words, that lingers long after he’s gone.
You sit there in the dark, replaying the moment over and over, wondering why it feels like he just said goodbye.
&
Angelina’s birthday party is already in full swing by the time you stumble through the door, only half-committed to being there. The laughter, the music, the clinking of glasses—it’s all too loud, too bright, too much.
But you came anyway, maybe out of habit, or maybe because part of you hoped you’d find a distraction in the chaos.
Fred is here. You noticed him immediately. He’s impossible not to notice, leaning against the bar, his easy smile tugging at something in your chest you’ve been trying to ignore. He hasn’t come near you, hasn’t even spared you more than a glance. But that glance—it felt like it saw too much.
You bury your feelings in your drink, letting the bitterness of it settle the knots in your stomach. It doesn’t help.
“Alright, what’s with the face?” Alicia’s voice cuts through the noise as she drops onto the couch beside you. “You look like someone just ran over your cat.”
“I’m fine,” you lie, swirling the last of your drink. “Just…thinking.”
“About your nonexistent love life again?” she teases, nudging your shoulder. “Seriously, you need to loosen up. Or at least stop picking all the wrong people.”
You force a laugh, but it feels hollow. Alicia doesn’t know. No one does. You’ve kept Fred a secret, just as he asked. The weight of it presses heavier tonight, threatening to spill over as you down the rest of your drink and reach for another.
As the night goes on, the alcohol blurs the edges of everything. Faces blend together, voices turn to static, and you’re left moping in the corner, the ache in your chest louder than any song playing.
Fred’s there, somewhere. You’ve caught glimpses of him—his easy posture stiffened, his smile more strained than usual. But he doesn’t approach, and you don’t give him the satisfaction of looking too long.
By the end of the night, most people have left, and the crowd has thinned out. You’re sitting on the couch, staring at the bottom of your empty glass, when a shadow falls over you.
“Let’s get you home,” Fred says, his voice low but firm.
You look up at him, the alcohol dulling your usual instincts. “I don’t need your help.”
“Yes, you do.” His tone leaves no room for argument, but there’s something gentler in his gaze, something that makes your chest tighten.
You don’t resist when he helps you up, his arm steady around your waist as he guides you out the door. The walk home is quiet, the chill of the night air biting at your skin. Fred doesn’t say much, and neither do you, but the silence feels heavier than usual.
When you finally reach your flat, he helps you inside, sitting you down on the couch as he disappears into the kitchen. He returns with a glass of water, kneeling in front of you.
“Drink,” he says simply.
You take the glass, your hands shaking slightly as you bring it to your lips.
“Fred,” you start after a moment, your voice barely above a whisper. “Stay.”
He looks at you, startled by the request. “I—”
“Please.” The word spills out before you can stop it, raw and pleading. “Just for the night. I don’t want to be alone.”
He hesitates, his expression flickering between something unreadable and something achingly vulnerable. Then, finally, he nods. “Alright.”
Relief washes over you as he helps you to your feet again, guiding you to your bedroom. He’s careful as he tucks you into bed, his hand lingering briefly on your shoulder before he steps back.
“You’ll stay?” you ask again, your voice softer now.
“I’ll stay,” he promises, his voice low and steady.
You don’t remember falling asleep.
When you wake up, the room is quiet, the sunlight streaming through the curtains. For a moment, you lie there, disoriented, the haze of last night still clinging to your thoughts.
Then you notice it—the bed is empty.
Your stomach drops, a hollow ache blooming in your chest as you sit up. The other side of the bed is cool to the touch, and for a moment, you wonder if he left as soon as you fell asleep. The ache sharpens, and you feel foolish for believing he’d actually stay.
Swinging your legs over the side of the bed, you bury your face in your hands. Of course, he left. Of course, this is what it always is with him—half-hearted promises and fleeting moments that never mean as much as you want them to.
It’s only when you lower your hands that you notice it.
A glass of water and a small packet of painkillers sit neatly on the nightstand.
Your breath catches as you reach for the glass, the pieces falling together in your mind. The bed might be cool now, but the faint warmth lingering on the pillow tells a different story.
And then you hear it—the faint click of your front door closing.
Your chest tightens, your heart pounding as you realize the truth: Fred stayed. He kept his promise.
The ache in your chest softens, replaced by something you can’t quite name. It’s not relief, not entirely. It’s something more fragile, more complicated.
He stayed.
And for now, that’s enough.
&
The pub feels suffocating tonight, the air heavy with laughter and music that’s a touch too loud. You’re sitting at the edge of the booth again, nursing the remnants of your drink while the conversation at the table flows around you. Fred is there too, only a few feet away but worlds apart, as always.
At least, that’s how it’s supposed to be.
But tonight, something is different. You’ve caught him looking at you more than once, a flicker of warmth in his gaze that lingers just a moment too long before he turns away.
And then there are the little things—how he slid the drinks menu your way when you couldn’t reach, the casual way his hand brushed yours when passing the salt, and the faint smirk on his lips when you dropped your napkin, like he found your clumsiness amusing.
It’s maddening. These small, almost imperceptible gestures that would mean nothing if it were anyone else, but with Fred, they feel like everything.
You glance his way now, trying not to linger. He’s leaned back in his chair, his long fingers drumming lazily against the table, his attention seemingly on George, who’s telling some animated story about a prank gone wrong. But then, as if he feels your eyes on him, Fred looks up.
The corners of his mouth twitch, and there it is again—that fleeting, private smile that feels like it’s meant just for you.
It’s a cruel kind of softness. The kind that makes you want more.
“Leaving soon?” His voice pulls you back, low enough that it barely cuts through the noise, and you realize he’s speaking to you.
Your heart skips. You shrug, trying to feign indifference. “Maybe. You?”
His smirk deepens, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. “Not yet.”
The words hang between you, unspoken but understood. The plan forms, unspoken as always. You’ll leave first, and he’ll follow.
When the clock creeps toward midnight, you push yourself up, offering the table a vague excuse about an early morning. Fred doesn’t look at you, but you can feel the tension, the way his fingers still against the table as you grab your things and step into the cool night air.
The sharp contrast of the quiet street is a relief at first, but it doesn’t last. Your thoughts churn, the familiar mix of guilt and longing rising to the surface. You shake your head, trying to focus on the walk home when you see her.
Leah.
She’s leaning against the wall just outside the pub, her arms crossed, the faint glow of a cigarette in her hand. She looks up when she hears you, her face illuminated by the streetlamp above.
“Hey,” she says, her tone casual but her gaze sharp.
You freeze, your chest tightening. “Hey.”
Her lips quirk into something that’s not quite a smile, and she takes a slow drag of her cigarette before exhaling, the smoke curling into the air between you.
“You’ve been quiet tonight,” she says, tilting her head slightly.
She must’ve watched you—you hadn’t even noticed her in the pub. Had Fred?
You force a shrug, your voice tight. “Long day.”
She hums, her eyes narrowing just a fraction. “Fred seemed to have been distracted too. Must’ve been one of those days for everyone, huh?”
The mention of his name sends a jolt through you, but you keep your expression as neutral as you can manage. “Yeah, maybe.”
Leah watches you for a moment longer, her gaze unsettlingly calm. She takes another drag before flicking the cigarette to the ground, crushing it under her heel. “You two seemed friendly tonight.”
Your stomach twists, but you don’t falter. “We’re all friends, aren’t we?”
Her lips press together, her expression unreadable. “Sure.”
The pub door swings open, the sound spilling into the street, and your heart sinks as Fred steps out. His hair is a little messy, his face flushed from the warmth of the pub. He glances around, his eyes landing on you almost immediately.
“There you are,” he says, his tone light as he steps closer. “What’s taking so long? I thought you’d—”
His words die as his gaze shifts, landing on Leah.
His smile falters, and for a moment, the easy confidence he always carries slips. “Leah.”
“Fred,” she says smoothly, her tone neutral but her eyes sharp as they flick between the two of you.
He straightens, shoving his hands into his pockets as the tension thickens.
“What’s going on?” he asks, his voice tighter now.
You feel like the air has been sucked out of your lungs. You glance between them, your chest tightening. You can’t do this. The weight of the secrecy, the guilt, the unspoken accusations—it’s too much.
“I was just leaving,” you say quickly, your voice steadier than you feel.
Fred’s gaze snaps to you, his brow furrowing. “Wait—”
“I’ll see you later,” you cut him off, stepping away before either of them can stop you.
You won’t see him later, you’re sure of it.
The last thing you hear as you walk away is Fred’s voice, quieter now but still tinged with something you can’t quite place.
“Leah, we should talk.”
You don’t look back. You can’t.
&
You’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. The faint hum of the city outside is no comfort tonight. It’s too quiet, too still, and your mind refuses to stop racing.
You picture them together—Fred and Leah. You imagine their conversation, her calm but sharp gaze and his uneasy expression. Maybe they’re sitting close, voices low and familiar, smoothing over the jagged edges of their breakup. Maybe they’ll work things out. Maybe they’re already back together.
The thought is a knife to the chest, twisting deeper with every passing second. You roll onto your side, pulling the blankets tighter around you, but it doesn’t help. The ache is relentless, carving itself into every corner of your heart.
Hours pass. The clock on your nightstand glows faintly, marking the time you’ve spent wide awake. 2:47 a.m. Your body is heavy with exhaustion, but your mind won’t let you rest.
You try to reason with yourself. Fred never promised you anything. This was always supposed to be casual, meaningless—a fleeting distraction for both of you. You knew that. You agreed to it.
And yet.
A sharp knock cuts through the silence, jolting you upright. For a moment, you freeze, your breath catching in your throat.
Another knock.
You stumble out of bed, heart pounding, and shuffle to the door. When you open it, Fred is standing there, his hair disheveled, his shirt wrinkled like he’d left in a hurry. The faint light of the hallway casts shadows across his face, but his eyes are clear, intense.
You can’t speak. You just step aside, and he walks in without a word.
The door closes behind him, the lock clicking softly into place. He turns to you, his gaze searching, but whatever he’s looking for, he doesn’t say. He just steps closer, his hands brushing against your arms before they settle on your waist, pulling you toward him.
There are no questions, no explanations. Just his mouth on yours, slow and deliberate, like he’s memorizing the way you feel.
It’s different this time.
The usual rush of urgency is gone, replaced by something quieter, softer. He touches you like you’re fragile, like he’s afraid you’ll slip through his fingers if he’s not careful. His hands linger, tracing patterns on your skin, and his lips trail down your neck with an almost reverent slowness.
When he lifts you, carrying you to the bed, it’s not hurried or thoughtless. He lays you down gently, his weight pressing into you as his lips find yours again.
It’s almost too much. The tenderness, the quiet intensity—it’s overwhelming in a way that makes your chest ache.
Somewhere in the back of your mind, you wonder if this is goodbye. If this is Fred’s way of ending things, giving you something to remember before he walks away for good.
The thought makes your throat tighten, but you don’t stop him. You can’t.
When it’s over, you lie there in the dark, the sheets tangled around you, his arm draped loosely over your waist. His breathing is steady, his body warm against yours, and for a moment, you let yourself pretend that this is enough. That this could be enough.
But then he stirs, pulling away.
You turn to watch him as he sits on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair. He doesn’t look at you as he stands, gathering his clothes and pulling them on with quiet efficiency.
Your chest tightens, but you don’t say anything. You just watch as he moves to the door.
He hesitates, his hand on the knob, and for a moment, you think he might say something. But he doesn’t. He just turns back to you, his expression unreadable, and steps closer.
He leans down, pressing his lips to your forehead in a soft, lingering kiss.
It’s the kind of tenderness he’s never shown before, the kind that makes your heart break even as it swells.
When he pulls back, his eyes meet yours for a brief moment. There’s something there, something unspoken, but before you can grasp it, he’s gone.
The door clicks shut behind him, and you’re alone again.
You lie there, staring at the ceiling, the ache in your chest heavier than ever.
This is goodbye, you think.
You close your eyes, but sleep doesn’t come.
&
The weeks without Fred are a blur of emotions, each one more exhausting than the last. Some days, you manage to feel like yourself again, like the world might not actually end without him. Other days, the grief hits you like a wave, dragging you under with the weight of all the unsaid words and the things you wished could’ve been.
Your friends help, of course. Alicia keeps you busy with plans you don’t want to make, and Angelina sends you pep talks at odd hours of the night. But there’s a hollow ache they can’t touch, a space inside you carved out by Fred and left empty when he walked away.
You try to fill it with distractions—new books, long walks, even the occasional half-hearted date—but nothing works. Because no matter what you’re doing, your thoughts always circle back to him. To the warmth of his hands, the sound of his laugh, the way he looked at you that night before he left.
The worst part is the silence.
For weeks, there’s no word from Fred. No knocks at your door, no teasing notes slipped under the frame. He’s just… gone. And while you tell yourself that’s what you wanted—that it’s for the best—you can’t stop wondering where he is. What he’s doing. If he’s with her.
And then, one day, the silence breaks.
It’s mid-afternoon, and you’re home, though you have no memory of how you spent the morning. The hours have blurred together in a haze of restless pacing and half-formed thoughts, none of which have brought you any peace.
When the knock comes, you almost don’t hear it. It’s soft, tentative, like the person on the other side isn’t sure they’re welcome.
Your heart stutters.
You tell yourself it’s probably Alicia or Angelina, or maybe even Leah. But when you open the door, it’s Fred.
He looks different in the daylight. There’s no mischievous grin, no late-night bravado. Just him, standing on your doorstep, his shoulders tense and his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
“Hi,” he says, his voice quieter than you’ve ever heard it.
You stare at him, unsure whether to laugh, cry, or slam the door in his face. “What are you doing here?”
Fred shifts, glancing past you into the flat before meeting your gaze again. “Can I come in?”
You want to say no. You want to tell him to leave, to take all the chaos and heartbreak he’s brought into your life and walk away for good. But instead, you step aside, letting him in.
Fred moves to the middle of the room and stops, his eyes scanning the space like he’s trying to memorize it. He doesn’t sit, doesn’t relax, just stands there, his weight shifting from foot to foot.
“I didn’t know if you’d let me in,” he admits after a moment.
“Why are you here, Fred?” you ask, crossing your arms over your chest.
His eyes flicker with something you can’t quite place—guilt, maybe, or fear. “I needed to see you. To explain.”
“Explain what? That you left? That you couldn’t give me what I wanted? What I needed?” Your voice wavers, betraying the anger you’ve been holding onto for weeks.
Fred flinches but doesn’t look away. “Yes. All of it.”
For a moment, neither of you speaks.
“I was a mess when we started this,” he says finally, his voice low and steady. “Leah and I were over, but I wasn’t okay. I told myself I didn’t want anything serious, that I couldn’t handle it. And then you…”
You hold your breath, waiting for him to continue.
“You made me feel like I could handle it,” Fred says, his gaze dropping to the floor. “And that scared me. It made me feel wrong, like I was moving on too fast. Like I didn’t deserve it.”
You blink, his words sinking in.
“I pushed you away because I was scared,” he admits, meeting your eyes again. “But that doesn’t excuse what I did. I hurt you, and I hate myself for it.”
You swallow hard, your throat tight. “And now? Are you still scared?”
“Yes,” Fred says without hesitation. “But I’m more scared of not being with you. Of letting you slip away because I was too much of a coward to fight for this.”
Your breath catches, your chest tightening with a mix of hope and fear. “And what happens when it gets hard again? When you start to feel like it’s too much?”
Fred takes a step closer, his expression earnest. “Then I’ll tell you. And we’ll figure it out together. Because I’m done running, and I’m done pretending this doesn’t mean something.”
The sincerity in his voice is almost too much. You look away, your hands trembling as you try to keep your emotions in check.
“What are you asking for, Fred?” you whisper.
He hesitates, and for a moment, you think he might not answer. Then he reaches out, his fingers brushing yours. “I’m asking for a chance. To do this right. To give you what you’ve always deserved.”
You close your eyes, his words washing over you like a wave.
“Okay,” you say finally, your voice barely audible. “But we take it slow. No more secrets, no more running. We do this the right way.”
Fred nods, a small, relieved smile breaking through his tension. “Slow. Got it.”
He steps back then, extending a hand like he’s meeting you for the first time. “Hi. I’m Fred. Nice to meet you.”
You laugh, the sound a little shaky but genuine. “Nice to meet you, Fred.”
For a moment, you let yourself smile, the tension in your chest loosening just a little. Then you glance at his outstretched hand, raising an eyebrow. “Though I have to say, you look a lot like this guy I used to know. Total pain in the arse, but surprisingly charming when he wanted to be.”
Fred grins, his eyes lighting up in that way that always makes your heart skip a beat. “Well, I’m hoping I’m nothing like him. He sounds awful.”
“He was,” you say, shaking his hand firmly. “But I think you might be an improvement.”
Fred laughs, the sound warm and unrestrained, and for the first time in weeks, you feel like you can breathe again.
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katherinemckay · 17 hours ago
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one musical to movie change i haven't really seen anyone talk about is the subtle difference in how glinda's potential future with the wizard is laid out to her before defying gravity (and how that changes how you can read her motivations).
in the musical the wizard explictly says "you have so many opportunities ahead of you - you both do" and then that's that, so glinda has reason to believe she has a legitimate future with the wizard regardless of whether elphaba's there. this can play into the interpretation that she stays behind for her own ambitions - she clearly has opportunities waiting for her.
however, this actually isn't how it comes across in the movie, at least to me. the wizard's original inclusion of glinda in his plans is changed from explicitly mentioning opportunity to just "you having a home here [...] and if it'll make you happy, possibly, your friend." in the movie version, the wizard directly states only that glinda would be joining them in the palace - and it's merely a suggestion as an addition to elphaba (she's even just referred to as her friend, not being spoken directly to) to make elphaba want to stay, rather than him describing glinda as someone who could have her own individual opportunities.
then, when elphaba runs away, morrible tells glinda "you want to do yourself some good, bring her back." here, morrible now suggests that glinda could do something for herself and her individual future. what i find interesting is that glinda instead jumps on the hot air balloon with elphaba and even fights off the guards with her. while glinda does try to talk elphaba down for awhile ("let's just have a word with them," "you've got to let him explain," etc.), she ultimately abandons this approach by the time elphaba has chosen to defy gravity.
in the movie, glinda goes against morrible's direct orders of bringing elphaba back when she accepts elphaba's choice to leave and helps her get ready. this means that by supporting elphaba in her decision, glinda actually abandons the chance she believes she has to finally get in with morrible (and by extension the wizard). in movie-verse, glinda really has no reason to believe staying behind without elphaba could advance her own ambitions, because both the wizard and morrible have laid out a potential future for her that is reliant on having elphaba at her side and keeping elphaba compliant to them (and using glinda to do that). i don't think that movie!glinda ultimately stays behind for selfish/power-seeking reasons, because the wizard and morrible haven't actually suggested to her that she has a path alongside them as an individual. (they also just truly show no interest in glinda as an individual person in a much more obvious way than in the musical, but that could be its own post.)
ariana grande has spoken a couple times on how one of the emotions glinda feels in the added hug scene with morrible is relief, and i think this all is why. glinda chose to stay behind while helping elphaba escape, knowing it was disobeying what was asked of her. given glinda is also being detained by the guards in that moment, i think that relief comes from her genuinely not having known if she would be safe or would become essentially a prisoner after staying behind, and feeling relief when morrible does free/accept her and suggests there's still a path for her.
there's definitely moral grayness to discuss with how glinda accepts her position within the regime and settles into it, but i think (in movie-verse) the actual choice to stay behind isn't one of those moments — it wasn't established to glinda that staying behind without elphaba could actually lead her to power and opportunity with the wizard, and she directly goes against the one path to power that was suggested to her by helping elphaba leave.
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lucygraysboy · 20 hours ago
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“would you like to supervise the process?” he offers with a smile, figuring she ought to have some sense of control over what’s happening to her most precious belonging. “also, i’ve been thinkin’… i’m sorry ‘bout what i said last night. ‘bout my ma’s scarf.” how he initially thought she must have stolen it and decided to take it away from her. “that was very wrong of me. it’s not like my ma will ever wear this scarf again or like just lookin’ at it, lyin’ there collectin’ dust, will bring her back or somethin’. maybe we could use the fabric to replace the missin’ ruffles on your dress? i think she’d like that.” it would give the dress a fresh look, some more color, and they would be reminded of both their mothers every time lucy gray put it on. of course, only if she allows it. “well, i don’t think there’s a covey as unique as ours out there. we win,” he laughs, dragging the twigs through her wet ringlets, fingers following. repeating the motion until there’s not a single tangle left. “horse playin’,” he echoes with a chuckle, basking in the sound of their happiness. suddenly, the little hut feels almost cozy, homey. filled with laughter and jokes, with a sense of togetherness. what else could anyone need? “no!” he’s quick to protest, squeezing his eyes shut momentarily just in case she decides to turn around and stand up, determined to protect her dignity and innocence. “i mean, no, thank you. an anatomy lesson won’t be necessary. not that i’ve ever seen a…” goodness gracious, what is he trying to confess? and why? what for? he scolds himself, cheeks burning, tongue tied with embarrassment. “i’m — it’s… oh! there’s other kinds of soap here!” he lays the makeshift brush on his lap and picks up the box that the previous owners must have left behind, occupying himself by taking out different bars of soap and sniffing them. “this one smells like lavender, and look, it’s such a pretty shade of purple, too.” he extends his hand, presenting the small, oval-shaped soap to the brunette. “how do you even make soap?” he wonders aloud, not the most subtle subject change but he prays it will do. 
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listening intently, billy finds himself nodding his head in agreement. the subject of coriolanus seems to be a sore one for the both of them, in their own way and for somewhat different reasons. “oh, that one,” manipulation, “he’s been great at always. guess that’s an inherited talent,” he muses with a chuckle, trying to make the conversation a bit more light-hearted even if it’s ultimately impossible. “i think you know him a lot better than i do, and so you’re most likely right. somethin’ must have switched at some point.” as a boy, he seemed very much capable of loving others. or so it seemed to billy. who really knows? “you don’t know who the third was? what’d he say when you asked ‘bout it?” he wonders, scooping up some more water to pour down lucy gray’s back and shoulders. the one sentence that haunts him being — coriolanus seemed as nice as you. well, was he faking it the whole time? or is it some generational curse? “i’ll never lie to you, lucy gray. never turn on you,” he swears and then is left wondering whether she’d heard the same exact words before, from the mouth identical to his. “i’d never try to kill no one i hated either. i don’t think most people have that in ‘em.” the ability to just take life. “if one of my loved ones was in danger and it was either the bad guy goes or the person i care for… that’s the only time i would pull the trigger.” he would stop at nothing to protect her because a part of him feels deeply responsible for her, because she’s brought so much joy and meaning to his life, but would he kill his own twin brother if it came to it? he doesn’t even want to think about having to make that choice.
“you’ll always be safe with me, lucy gray.” feeling her warm skin on his, slender fingers keeping his hand in place, billy’s heart expands so impossibly that it’s a wonder his chest doesn’t just burst open. his cheeks rosy. she nuzzles into his palm like an affection-starved cat and something inside him cracks, his own eyes filling with tears. it’s a monumental moment, gaining some of her trust, and he promises to never jeopardize it. he won’t ever betray her. before he can do something stupid like leaning in and bumping their noses together or kissing her forehead, he clears his throat and speaks up, “is the water still warm? want me to boil some more?” the pad of his thumb stroking her skin, ever so carefully and with all the affection he has. 
"alright, i'll trust you with it." he's been so gentle with her hair, so she gives his forearm a pat and believes he'll do the same with her precious mama's dress. how kind of him too... to promise. "alright, mr. hair stylist." a little laugh dances out of her throat, doe eyes watching him get up and go over to the bed. "that's the best part about a covey... the more unique it is, the more special it is." lucy gray points out, sweetly smiling. "well, you ought to be careful there. don't go horse playin' around like that..." creating puns causing her to laugh as she watches him playfully stumble around with his eyes covered. "you're actin' like i showed somethin' already. if you need me to, i can just show you if you need schooled on female anatomy lessons." he clearly isn't the type to take her up on things like that, which is why she's saying it. just to provoke a shy look out of him again.
"no, believe me billy, you're entitled to your own opinion. i don't blame you for not agreein' with me at all. i don't even know if i agree with myself when there were moments coriolanus seemed as nice as you, i think he could have just been fakin' it the entire time. he's great at manipulation. but it sure is a mystery if all he was– was stuck up as a little one. then, all grown up he turned so cruel, selfish and dead on inside. maybe somethin' switched... between a father like that and the loss of your mother, somewhere between there. but it just hurts when someone betrays you. i felt he betrayed me when he lied to me about how many people i asked that he killed, two were valid. but the third... guess i'll never know. he betrayed me pretendin' he was coming along with me to live in the wilderness and the entire time, he was just lookin' out for himself. he betrayed me tryin' to kill me. it's the lord's work to take me outta the world, not him." angrily she spoke, and she truly feels sad for coriolanus and his soul. "he might not been born evil, but he was absolutely born with somethin' rotten. i'd never try to kill no one i hated– let alone cared for."
flinching in the slightest, but her hand comes up to keep his hand in place. she doesn’t want him to remove it. she wants to embrace a kind touch, feel it, as she turns hand over to feel his fingers against her skin. eyes watering, lower lip curving upwards, before affectionately nuzzling into his palm. it makes her deeply emotional. the kind touch, embracing she can’t always be scared of touch, the reassurance, the horrible conversation and ideas that someone she cared for would want to kill her. essentially, twice. because billy taupe nearly sent her to her grave getting involved with mayfair who sent her to the hunger games.
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nyatbinary-81 · 8 months ago
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choice—#—which gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont 💛 peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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xbuster · 9 months ago
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Glass Mask (1976) Suzue Miuchi ※Translated by me
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arundolyn · 7 months ago
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its really interesting to me how the resident vampires in general of gg and bb have such completely different ideologies. mostly in reference to slayer and rachel but i think this somewhat extends to clavis also bc iirc he wasnt an observer but still kinda played by the same rules. theres at least a plot reason for rachel not to stick her nose into anything plotwise but she still kinda does anyway and i think even if she didnt have the bystander restrictions she wouldnt deign to interact with anyone all that often. i like the dichotomy of the alucards' general attitudes towards humans being at least moderately scornful and superior to some extent even if not actively despite still ultimately wanting to help out (mostly rachel tbh but theres still elements of the typical fiction vampire superiority complex type shit just in general vibes wise for all three of them, esp in relation to like. fuzzy) and slayer's attitude that humanity is a beautiful thing and wanting to help the people he comes across despite having no particular incentive to do so aside from personal fascination and goodwill. rachel already built in having some level of scorn for humans as lesser and also having ample incentive to never interfere with the main storyline as it carries out but doing it anyway because despite these things she still cares despite the active threat to her Literal Existence vs slayer having no skin in the game either way if he does or doesnt help anyone out but still deciding to try to help others find their way regardless just because if nothing else its the most interesting thing to do from his perspective. he has no external motivation TO or NOT TO interfere with anything, its just essentially long term people watching and hed rather do good than do nothing
#crow.txt#ggposting#blazblueposting#not a dunk on rachel or any of the alucards for once its just an interesting dichotomy#and also the like. slayer being very chill with the whole living forever thing. he gets to be with his wife forever and help lost souls#and hes content with this. pretty cool#and whole assassins guild thing WOOF.#also not to say slayer doesnt have any supernatural superiority complex adjacent stuff going on#its just more flippant and subtle. hes chill about it. he states it like a fact cause it is and jokes about it#like ah yes ill try not to crack you in half like a twig sorry about that!#vs rachels whole Bark Like A Dog You Are Beneath Me Worm Become The Dirt I Tread On shtick#which very. very. very quickly gets tired. between her and valk. like its funny at times but i never really like haughty bitches#unless theyre funny or self aware about it in some way. like wagner unib is just so fucking unhinged about it that its hilarious.#she grew on me. rachel admittedly has too over time but theres just some inherently grating aspects in my brain#shes not even funny about it.............#like eliza too. talks mad shit. she can back it up at least. like hardcore. rachel can too but its kinda boring#eliza is ready and willing to just cut someone down for being remotely in her way. she dgaf.#i think one of the most crucial differences is you can talk to slayer However and he'll be chill about it to some extent#vs rachel getting big fucking mad if you say something unintentionally disrespectful like calling her a kid. and acting like shes not#like if your first response to a normal person saying 'uh hey kid wheres your parents??' is Lightning#i dont think youre actually as high and mighty as you like to act. youre just kinda irritating and childish#the 'you have to respect me utmost before i treat you like a human being' is not cute ma'am
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tvrningout-a · 2 years ago
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okay last coherent thought of the night: i don't think we as writers talk about our own oc's and canons interacting with each other. bc i know in my heart that pav and chiyo would get along bc who wouldn't get along with pav?? but also i absolutely see chiyo squinting at him and avoiding him at times bc pav is too observant and just says what he sees instead of keeping it to himself, and that is chiyo's nightmare asdfg people don't need to know when she's sad or has a crush thank you very much
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screambirdscreaming · 8 months ago
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No it's literally that she canonically has terrible taste
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Love and light to marcille but she has the worst fucking opinions on God's good earth
#it's also canon (per a different bonus comic) that she doesn't think laios and falin look that similar but#I admit that that's getting dangerously far into the “referencing obscure details to prove a minor point” weeds#Whereas this image is extremely relevant and reasonable to reference.#Also i don't get why people keep acting like she bullies Laios or is preoccupied with thinking he's weird#Like. They are friends. Sometimes Laios says something that comes across wrong but the rest of the group are generally pretty decent about#Trying to figure out what he meant to convey and letting weird accidental implications roll off? And marcielle in particular if anything#Like yes she spends a lot of page time being like “I really don't want to be going along with this idea of yours” but that's like.#Her not wanting to personally be doing it. Not inherently bullying others for doing it?#I get why people conflate those bc we've all had bad experiences with people mocking us for being excited about things they think are gross#But marcielle specifically is not doing that. She's just expressing that *she doesn't want to*#Sometimes in a way that's pretty immature. She's often shocked to learn her standards of decency aren't universal or at least widespread#And she weighs her distress very heavily even in pretty dire situations - vs say chilchuck#Who spends a lot of time going “i don't like it either but deal”#She comes across as pretty young tbh?#But even when she's shocked about other people being ok with things she finds gross. She doesn't take it out on them.#That's specific and I think really important! To her character!#Sorry I have a lot of feelings about marcielle as a character with some really interesting and subtle faults#And I don't like to see that being subsumed into more generic faults. Let her have her chringefail depth!! >:[#/end soapbox#Dungeon meshi
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ubeb0nes · 1 month ago
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Getting jealous as Sevika's girlfriend…
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Look, we all know this lady gets around. Brothel or not, she's big and she's strong and she looks good. She's gonna be pretty experienced no matter when you meet her and get with her.
But once you two are together? Oh baby, there's nobody more devoted. Even if she doesn't say how much she cares, Sevika always shows you what type of person she is. And loyal, she definitely is.
Go ahead and try to ask her- pettily, childishly- if you're not the only pretty thing warming her bed. She'll shoot you a withering look as she tells you with all the unshakeable affection in her big, guarded heart, "I haven't even looked at any other woman since we got together, you ass."
A love confession as good as any!
In truth, you know you don't have to worry about Sevi's eyes straying. You know it in your heart. But you know that still doesn't stop others from looking, or even talking to her.
And sometimes all the present conditions just make it far too easy for your most unfounded insecurities to seem all too real. The way she can be so careful, so guarded about showing you affection in public has been a sensitive issue between you two for a while.
I HC that she's not the type to have you perched on her lap while she plays cards with the guys or anything like that. She's too protective, too possessive herself. Why should anybody get to see you all pretty like that?
But perhaps more importantly, she doesn't want to treat you the same way she treated her more… casual partners. Whether that may be right or wrong, it's how she makes a point of how different you are from her past flames. You're not just some pretty thing to prop up (although you are her pretty thing). You're the woman she's chosen, and that chose her back.
Obviously, it doesn't always translate that way. Sometimes, it just makes her seem cold. Again, whether it's right or wrong.
Maybe you were feeling extra sensitive that night, maybe she was being extra detached, but it was probably the most opportune time for outside forces to make it worse.
You're sitting at the bar chatting with Ran to try and take your mind off things when you see, out of the corner of your eye, some bitch sliding up next to your woman with a whiskey tumbler in hand.
Sevika doesn't even look up as she takes the offered drink. Your brain honestly shuts off then, ignorant to the way when a hand slides over her shoulders and she finally looks at the woman, Sevika jerks away like she'd been burned.
It happens so quickly, and you were already feeling like shit that particular night that you don't even go to confront. Ran had been ready to wrangle you back from killing someone, so she's surprised when you just… leave. You storm out of the bar, not hearing the "shit, doll, no…" that Sevika mutters under her breath as she stands to follow you.
The glare she gives the girl could win awards. "You better hope she tells me not to kill you," she growls, jutting a finger in the girl's face before leaving.
The guys she plays cards with every week swivel on the girl once Sevika leaves, throwing their cards up and bemoaning the "goddamn homewrecker!"
You hear her call your name almost immediately after you're out the door. "Baby, stop, you know that was-"
"I know that was what?" Sevika stops in her tracks when you swivel on her. Her eyes are wide, taken aback by how firm your voice is.
…Where'd you been hiding that lower register?
"It was a mistake, I thought it was you-" "You didn't even bother to look!" "Yeah, 'cause I thought you were bringing me a drink like you always do!"
She doesn't push back against you too hard because she knows it's her mistake, dumb and unintentional as the harm may be. She lets you yell, picks out the deeper hurt from your words and the why.
And when you're done, and the tears start to well up, that's when she closes the distance. She wraps her human arm around your shoulders, hiding your vulnerability with a subtle shrug of her cape halfway over you.
"Listen to me, woman." She cups your face with her human hand, smirking slightly at the surprised laugh you let out.
"You're the only fuckin' thing I see. Okay? The only damn one. That won't happen again."
Sevika didn't ever apologize, not really. But she did make promises that she never broke.
"…So do you want her dead?"
"Nah. I can't even blame her, I'd homewreck too if I didn't already have you."
"Ha! Your call, doll."
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ridher · 5 months ago
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rafe cameron defending his shy & non-confrontational girl
one the the biggest perks in a relationship with rafe is how different he is from you, opposites attract or something like that.
his charismatic and confident nature makes it easy for him to interact — and more importantly, get what he wants. something you, however, tended to struggle with. it's not a negative quality, just the way you grew up and part of your personality rafe loves so much.
he caught on right away and it was what drew him towards you. being able to provide for his girl and be the man she relied on was truly all he could wish for — especially in situations like these.
today, you and your boyfriend went out to the country club, a common pastime for the two of you. he would hit a few holes and you'd watch all prettily from the golf cart, sipping on a drink that'd get you tipsy and clingy — just happy to be there.
that is, until another cart pulls up, the sound startling you before you're able to turn and look over at the disruption.
it's a group of asshole kook boys — something you used to assume about rafe, so you remain nonjudgmental. the rowdy group of three is focused on you since your boyfriend is a few meters away, zoned in on his sport.
"yo! could you go any fuckin' slower?" the driver shouts, hanging out the side of the open vehicle. his words leave you stunned, mouth agape and face heating up from the accusation you weren't sure how to handle.
instinctively, your head snaps back towards rafe who's already making his way back over with his club held dangerously tight in his grip — knuckles white and all.
"i'm sorry, i said something, didn't i?" the boy speaks back up, trying to get your attention through the subtle insult.
it works, because you look back over at the group, silent and overwhelmed by conflict. something that wouldn't seem like a big deal to others — namely your boyfriend who's already handling it with nothing more than a tense jaw in reaction — feels equivalent to the end of the world.
like always, rafe fixes it for you and they speed away with a wave of the middle finger — directed towards who is unclear.
he snaps you out of it with the touch of his hand on your chin, refocusing your eyes to connect with his. bracing the other on the roof of the golf cart, his body leans over yours and speaks up all low and soft just for you.
"that was all 'cause of me. nobody's mad at you, aight?" and he knows just what to say. if your eyes could be filled with hearts, they would be — instead, dilated pupils fill the color of your iris almost completely and you're nodding at his reassurance, mind hazy.
he smirks lazily, ego inflated at the feeling of being your savior and the confirmation that he is that person for you.
pressing a wet, sloppy kiss to your forehead, he taps firmly at your hip as a signal to scoot over so he can slide into the driver's seat and take control. all is well again when he feels your head fall to his shoulder during the bumpy ride across the course.
his large hand snakes around your waist and his thumb nudges the hem of your shirt when it starts circling absentmindedly.
the outing is cut short for reasons neither of you need to communicate, even more so when rafe hurries the two of you back to tanneyhill where he all but manhandles you up the stairs and into the familiar space of his bedroom — giggles and affectionate kisses following all the way.
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pandapetals · 2 months ago
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Mrs. Howlett
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You get jealous of a student's mom trying to flirt with Logan.
professor logan howlett x professor fem!reader - married couple, cute, fluff, banter, no y/n used, no reader description, your an english professor, logan is a history professor, jealously
read on ao3 or find more parts for the series: here
divider credit: @enchanthings
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You hated to admit it, but you could get a little jealous. Not that you ever had a real reason to be—Logan didn’t give other women a second glance, and he made it clear you were the only one he wanted. Most of the time, when someone flirted with him, you’d brush it off, secure in the knowledge that he was yours. Logan was usually too gruff, too uninterested, for anyone to make much headway with him anyway.
But today was different.
You were heading to his classroom to drop off some papers when you spotted him leaning casually against the doorframe, arms crossed, a faint smirk on his face as he talked to a woman you didn’t recognize. She looked young—probably a little too young than some of the other student’s parents, with sleek hair and an outfit that was more stylish than practical. Beside her stood a teenage boy, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, clearly embarrassed.
But she? She was smiling up at Logan like he’d just hung the moon. Her hand even touched his arm briefly, a little too familiar, and you felt a flash of something hot and prickly ignite in your chest.
You tried to brush it off. It wasn’t a big deal. Logan didn’t even seem particularly invested in the conversation—just nodding along, probably humoring her because he had to be polite. And yet, the way she looked at him, hanging on his every word, had your jaw clenching before you realized it.
You took a breath, schooling your expression, but when you caught Logan’s eye over her shoulder, his smirk deepened, his gaze flicking to you with that glint of amusement he always got when he knew he had your attention. Oh, he’d noticed. Of course, he had.
Clearing your throat, you approached with an air of casual calm, though the jealousy simmering beneath the surface was anything but subtle.
“Oh, there you are, Logan,” you said, slipping your hand onto his arm with a bit more possessiveness than you’d planned. Your fingers tightened slightly, grounding yourself in the solid warmth of his bicep. “I was looking for you.”
The woman’s bright smile faltered for just a second, her gaze flicking down to your hand on his arm. She took a tiny step back, trying to recover her polite expression but with a hint of something else lurking in her eyes. “Oh, I didn’t realize… are you Miss… I’m sorry, I don’t remember your name?”
You felt Logan tense slightly, but you just smiled, leaning a little closer to him. “I’m Mrs. Howlett, actually.” Your voice was warm, but you let the words sink in, feeling a small thrill of satisfaction as you watched her face register the correction. Your fingers brushed up and down Logan’s arm in a slow, familiar rhythm, letting her know exactly where you stood. “And you are?”
She cleared her throat, glancing down at the teenage boy beside her. “I’m Liam’s mom,” she said, resting a hand on the boy’s shoulder as if to keep herself anchored. “Logan—Mr. Howlett—was just telling me about the upcoming history project. I thought it would be good to get a sense of what Liam would be working on.”
Logan’s smirk widened as he looked down at you, clearly enjoying the subtle show of jealousy you rarely let slip. His arm slid around your waist, pulling you closer in a way that made his claim on you unmistakable.
“Yeah, sweetheart,” he drawled, voice a low, amused rumble that you felt through his chest. “She was just askin’ about the assignment.”
You looked up at him, arching an eyebrow as you played along. “Of course. Well, Liam’s a very brilliant student,” you said sweetly, turning to the woman with a smile that held just a hint of a challenge. “Logan says he’s a natural at history. Must be quite a proud mom moment for you.”
The woman’s smile became a bit too tight, her expression polite but strained. She straightened, giving a brisk nod. “Of course. Well, I think I have all the information I need for now. Come along, Liam.”
As she ushered her son down the hallway, Logan’s quiet chuckle rumbled in his chest, his arm still snugly wrapped around your waist. He waited until she was out of earshot before he leaned down, his lips brushing close to your ear.
“Didn’t know you could be the jealous type,” he murmured, his voice dripping with amusement. “Should I be flattered?”
You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t quite keep the blush from creeping up your cheeks. “I’m not jealous,” you replied, feigning nonchalance. “I just didn’t appreciate her… forgetting my name. I mean, it’s Mrs. Howlett, after all.”
Logan chuckled, his warm breath grazing your skin as his fingers traced lazy circles along your hip. “I gotta say, darlin’… I kinda liked seein’ you all protective and possessive. Not somethin’ I get to see often.”
You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t quite keep the grin off your face. “Oh, don’t let it go to your head,” you shot back, trying to sound nonchalant. “But I guess I might get a little territorial when some random woman decides to ignore the fact that you’re taken.”
His smile softened, and he leaned down to press a kiss to your temple, lingering just long enough for his warmth to seep into you. “Relax, gorgeous,” he murmured, his voice low and fond. “You know you’re the only one I’d ever put up with.”
“Oh, really?” you challenged, raising an eyebrow with a playful spark in your eyes. “Maybe I’ll keep you on your toes more often, then. Just to see that little possessive streak of yours come out.”
Logan’s laugh rumbled through his chest, his hand drifting lower to give your hip a slow, teasing squeeze. “Be my guest,” he drawled, his lips curving into a smirk. “I don’t mind remindin’ everyone who I belong to.”
You tilted your head, your fingers tracing along his arm savoring the solid warmth beneath your touch. “Good,” you murmured, voice barely above a whisper, “because I don’t plan on sharing.”
Logan leaned down, capturing your lips in a kiss. His mouth was warm and unhurried, lingering as if he wanted to make sure you felt every word he hadn’t spoken. When he finally pulled back, you were left breathless, a soft heat blooming in your cheeks.
He looked down at you, the playful gleam in his eyes softening. His forehead rested against yours, and whispered, his voice rough but gentle, “You don’t have to, sweetheart. I’m all yours. Always have been, always will be.”
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helioooss · 3 months ago
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music girlfriend
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synopsis: you’re the weirdest loser karina has ever met in her life, but you’re cute. and different. and she might just like you. (loser girlfriend x mean girlfriend core)
w/c: 5k+
warnings: swearing, lots of it; mentions of bullying. like always, read at your own risk :)
a/n: a concept like this was my first ever fic…except that it was way more toxic and horrifying. i’ve rewritten it. but just reading something i wrote over 10 years ago makes me CRINGE
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
yu jimin is a force of nature on campus; the kind of girl people talk about in hushed tones, partly out of awe and partly out of fear. she’s got a reputation that precedes her: mean, cold and walls higher than the burj khalifa itself.
she doesn’t mince words, and her insults almost always land with surgical precision. you don’t cross her unless you’re looking to get burned, and even then, it’s not guaranteed she’ll care enough to react.
people say she’s a heartbreaker, and the rumours aren’t exactly subtle. she’s the type who’s been through a messy breakup or two, you’d never know it by looking at her though.
karina, as everyone liked to call her, doesn’t mess around with vulnerability: she does leather jackets, sharp eyeliner, and a smile that’s more threatening than warm.
most of her relationships don’t last long; people get too close, then quickly realize that they’re only scratching the surface of someone who’s built walls too high to climb.
and, then, there’s you. you’re not even remotely on her radar, like at all. unless you count that one time she stared you down just for coughing in her presence. you remember it vividly: it was a wednesday morning, and you were hurrying to class when you caught a coughing fit through the hall after attempting to chug a tropical juice box in two minutes.
unfortunately, she was passing by at the exact moment you let out a loud, ragged cough, and she stopped dead in her tracks; fixing you with a death glare that never left until you were out of sight.
“are you fucking kidding me?” she yells out as you practically run away. “loser!”
that stare was enough to make you want to crawl into a hole and disappear, and it cemented your fear of her. you’ve avoided her ever since, not that it’s been difficult — she’s too wrapped up in her own world to notice someone like you anyway.
yet, despite the fear and the certainty that she’d tear you to shreds if given the chance, you never miss an aespa gig.
every friday night, you make your way to the dingy dive bar outside of campus where they perform, staking out your usual spot in the far corner with a ginger beer in hand because you couldn’t stand the taste of anything else, but you only ever manage to drink half before losing interest. it’s not about the drink; it’s about watching her own the stage.
you sit there, trying not to make eye contact, trying to be as invisible as possible while simultaneously wishing she would look your way, just once….in a way that isn’t terrifying.
of course she doesn’t notice you. or at least, she pretends not to. she’s too busy flirting with half the room, her eyes sharp and her voice carrying over the crowd like a spell.
your only real friend on campus is yunjin, your roommate, who’s the complete opposite of you —confident, outgoing and friends with pretty much everyone.
she talks about the girls in aespa often, but you never really pay attention because, well, you’re usually too busy trying to complete a lego set or desperately attempting to finish either a boss in wu-kong, or a quest in dead island 2. in desperate times, you turn to call of duty though.
one saturday evening, as you’re halfway through building a lego roller coaster on the kitchen table, zero human interaction, yunjin drops a bombshell.
“hey, by the way, aespa’s coming over tonight,” she announces casually, as if she’s talking about ordering pizza, fingers twirling her hair and all.
you don’t even look up from your seat. “uh-huh, cool.”
“no, like, they’re actually coming here. to our dorm,” she repeats, clearly trying to make sure it sinks in.
you snap a lego piece into place and nod absentmindedly. “yeah, i hear ya.”
yunjin sighs, clearly defeated. “you’re really not listening, are you?”
“nope,” you admit, focusing intently on the roller coaster track.
“can you please get a girlfriend?” she leaves you to yourself and retreats back into the couch, shaking her head at how hopeless you are. “god, this place needs another woman.”
and then, maybe fifteen minutes later, it finally registers. aespa. karina. here. in your dorm. you’re in your toy story pyjamas with fresh spaghetti stains on it.
you freeze mid-piece placement, your eyes going wide as panic washes over you. “wait, did you say aespa is coming here?”
yunjin looks up from her phone, a grin spreading across her face. “finally paying attention, huh? yeah, they’ll be here any minute.”
“jennifer, are you serious?!” you practically yell, scrambling to your feet, knocking over half your lego set in the process.
“very serious,” she says, clearly enjoying your reaction.
you don’t waste any more time. there’s only one thing to do: that’s to get the hell out of there. before yunjin can say another word, you’re darting down the hall, your feet barely touching the floor. you burst into your room and start throwing things into your bag, moving with a speed you didn’t know you had.
“are you really running away?” yunjin calls after you, chuckling.
“yes!” you shout back, shoving random clothes into your bag. “i can’t deal with this!”
“you’re such a wimp!” she teases, but there’s affection in her voice. “you’ll be fine, i promise —“
“absolutely not,” you cut her off as you slam your door shut. you grab your keys, yank open your window and climb out onto the fire escape, your heart pounding.
as you make your escape, you look down and realise you’ve left a trail of legos behind you, tiny colourful pieces marking your pathetic retreat.
meanwhile, aespa finally arrives. winter, the band’s chaotic drummer, is sprawled on your couch, balancing a bottle of cheap beer on her forehead. ningning, the bassist, is rummaging through your snack drawer like she’s on a mission from god. giselle, the lead guitarist, is inspecting your lego collection with an expression that’s equal parts curiosity and confusion. and then there’s karina — leaning against the counter, looking bored and vaguely annoyed, like she’s too cool for this entire dorm (which she probably is).
“so, where’s this lego nerd?” ningning asks, looking around the living room.
“oh, y/n? she…left,” yunjin says with a shrug, trying not to laugh. “like ran away when i said you guys were coming over.”
“scared of us?” winter asks, looking offended. “we’re not that bad.”
“no,” yunjin adds, shaking her head. “she just really sucks at socialising but once you get to a point, she will yap your ears off.”
“it’s karina,” giselle says knowingly, nudging the singer with a grin. “she’s the scary one.”
karina just rolls her eyes, unfazed. “whatever. if she’s that much of a coward, she’s not worth worrying about.”
as she glances around the room, her eyes land on the half-finished lego set on the kitchen table. she moves closer, her gaze shifting from indifferent to slightly intrigued. she picks up a piece, examining it for a moment.
“what’s this supposed to be?” she asks, holding up the stray lego.
“a roller coaster,” yunjin replies, still smiling. “she’s been working on it all day.”
karina raises an eyebrow, setting the piece back down. “interesting.”
“what, the legos or the girl?” giselle teases.
“both,” karina admits, her voice low and thoughtful. and for a moment, just a moment, her usual cold demeanor softens. “she’s kind of weird, isn’t she? fucking coughed on me once and it just set me off.”
“so you know of her?” giselle raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk on her face.
karina frowns. “what the hell is your deal?”
“definitely,” yunjin cuts them off before they get started. “she’s into video games and all that nerdy shit. has never had a girlfriend in her life, but she’s gorgeous and funny in her own way.”
karina hums, her gaze lingering on the legos. “i’ll be the judge of that.”
meanwhile, you’ve been hiding out at the park not too far from your dorm for a while now, perched awkwardly on a bench — staring blankly at a nearby pigeon that’s scavenging for crumbs. it was the first place you could think of in your panic, but now that the adrenaline is wearing off, your stomach is making very loud complaints.
“great,” you mutter to yourself, pressing a hand to your rumbling belly. you didn’t plan this escape well. you don’t have money on you…just your keys and the few legos you hastily shoved in your pockets.
with a sigh, you finally accept defeat. “screw it,” you mutter, pushing yourself off the bench. “i’ll just sneak in, grab some food, and sneak back out.”
you start making your way back to the dorm, trying to convince yourself that you can avoid those girls altogether. if you’re lucky, they’ll be too busy talking to yunjin or trying to figure out the roller coaster you abandoned on the kitchen table.
approaching your dorm cautiously on your tippy toes, you open door as quietly as possible, sets of laughter audible from the living room — familiar voices that make you both excited and anxious.
you manage to sneak inside unnoticed, keeping your head down as you head straight for the kitchen.
the fridge is glowing right in front of you, immediately grabbing the nearest thing you see: a pack of cheese sticks and a pineapple juice box. you’re so focused on grabbing food and getting out of there that you don’t notice the figure leaning casually against the kitchen counter.
“back so soon, coward?”
you freeze, and slowly turn to find no one else but karina standing there. she’s holding a half-finished lego roller coaster piece, looking at you with a mix of amusement and something else you can’t quite read.
“oh,” you croak out, feeling your face heat up. “i was just…hungry.”
she raises an eyebrow, her expression somewhere between disbelief and mockery. “hungry enough to risk coming back into enemy territory?”
“it’s not enemy territory,” you mutter, peeling the wrapper off the cheese stick awkwardly. “i just panicked.”
karina’s smirk widens. “because of me?”
“maybe,” you admit reluctantly, taking a bite of the cheese stick. “you’re kind of scary, you know.”
“good,” she replies smoothly, stepping closer. “keeps people on their toes.”
“it definitely kept me out the door,” you mumble, trying not to flinch as she moves even closer. you notice she’s still holding the lego piece, twirling it between her fingers like she’s trying to figure it out.
“so,” she says, her voice dropping a notch, “what’s with the legos? seriously. i mean, a roller coaster?”
you glance at the half-built model on the table, feeling both embarrassed and defensive. “what’s wrong with a roller coaster?”
“nothing,” she replies, surprisingly sincere. “it’s just unexpected considering you’re over twenty.”
“what the hell is that supposed to mean?” you ask, narrowing your eyes.
she shrugs, her gaze shifting between you and the legos. “i’ve never met anyone who builds a roller coaster in the middle of a saturday night. alone.”
“what kind of person do i seem like, then?” you challenge, more curious than offended.
“the kind that runs away when someone like me shows up,” karina shoots back, but there’s no malice in her tone; just that familiar teasing edge.
you feel your face heat up again, but you manage to hold her gaze. “well, maybe i just don’t know how to deal with someone like you.”
“and what’s someone like me?” she asks, taking a step closer.
“mean,” you say bluntly, surprising even yourself.
karina blinks, caught off guard. “you coughed on me.”
“you remember that?”
“i felt a splash on my face you sore loser,” she whines, remembering the day so clearly. she watches you for a moment, then she gestures to the roller coaster. “so, are you gonna finish this or what?”
“i was planning to,��� you say defensively. “it’s not my fault i got interrupted.”
“by yourself?” she raises an eyebrow at you.
“by you,” you correct, feeling a strange mix of frustration and attraction.
her eyes narrow playfully. “well, i’m here now. so, let’s finish it.”
“you want to help me?” you ask, genuinely surprised.
“why not?” she says, picking up another lego piece. “i’ve got nothing better to do, but come meet everyone first.”
you eventually shuffle into the living room, feeling like you’re walking into a lion’s den. the place is chaos: winter is trying to balance on one leg while shouting about something unintelligible, ningning is tearing into a bag of doritos with alarming enthusiasm, and giselle is inspecting your lego city sets like she’s discovered a hidden temple.
“look who it is!” ningning calls, grinning at you with chip dust on her fingers. “finally decided to join us, huh?”
“i was busy,” you say awkwardly.
“busy hiding,” karina corrects, plopping down next to you on the couch with a casualness that makes your heart rate spike.
“it’s not hiding,” you mutter. “it’s called strategic retreat.”
she shrugs. “sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“she’s literally just a girl,” yunjin chuckles, taking the first sip off her beer before grimacing. “what is this shit?”
winter suddenly flops onto the floor in front of you, looking up with wide eyes. “so, do you build like castles and stuff? or just boring things like a roller coaster?”
you frown defensively. “it’s interesting!”
“wow,” winter says, clearly unimpressed. “that’s so nerdy, i think i just lost 10 cool girl points talking to you.”
you roll your eyes. “i didn’t think you had 10 cool girl points to begin with,” the room erupts in laughter, and you can’t help but feel a small sense of triumph.
“ohhh, she got heat!” giselle hollers, slapping her knee dramatically.
karina leans closer, her voice low enough that only you can hear. “you’re funny.”
you blink, caught off-guard by her close proximity. “uh, thanks?”
“don’t get too excited,” she adds, a bored look on her face. “i still think you’re weird.”
“i know,” you reply simply. “but that’s kind of my thing.”
somehow, yunjin turns the tv on and you end up in an impromptu mario kart tournament, with winter yelling instructions at everyone like an overly aggressive coach.
“take the shortcut, take the fucking shortcut!” she screams, despite the fact that she’s not even playing.
you manage to hold your own, despite ningning’s attempts to distract you by waving doritos in your face and giselle’s shameless attempts to use every dirty trick in the book. you’re neck and neck with karina, who’s surprisingly good and also surprisingly ruthless.
“you play dirty,” you accuse as she sends a blue shell your way, knocking you out of first place.
“you say that like it’s a bad thing,” karina retorts with a frown.
“it is a bad thing,” you insist. “only jerks use the blue shell.”
“guess i’m a jerk, then,” she adds, not looking the least bit sorry.
“you’re the worst,” you say, but there’s no heat behind it. in fact, you’re kind of having fun.
“i’ll take that as a compliment,” she says, flashing you a victorious smile as she crosses the finish line.
“you shouldn’t,” you mutter, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably because karina just smiled at you for the first time in your life.
as the night goes on, the group slowly starts to mellow out. winter has passed out on the floor, snoring softly with an empty can of beer in her hand. ningning and yunjin are sprawled across the couch, humming some random tune and giselle is poking at your lego millennium falcon with a mix of fascination and confusion.
karina is still sitting next to you, her elbow resting on the back of the couch. “so,” she says, breaking the comfortable silence, “you really like legos, huh?”
you nod. “yeah. it’s kind of my thing.”
“i can see that,” she says, glancing around at your impressive collection. “it’s such a loser vibe.”
you raise an eyebrow. “hey, you’re not the first to say that.”
“i’ll make sure i’ll be the last.”
you laugh, feeling a strange warmth in your chest. “well, thanks, i guess. you’re not as scary as i thought you’d be.”
“i can be scary,” she insists, narrowing her eyes for effect. “maybe one day i can build one with you, deal?”
“woah, okay,” you say, grinning back. “a deal it is then.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
since that unexpected night at your dorm, things between you and karina have taken an unexpected turn. it’s not exactly friendship —karina’s still mean, still cold in that familiar way, but there’s a new rhythm to it, a pattern of teasing that you’re surprisingly getting used to.
whenever you pass each other in the hallways, she makes it a point to throw some kind of insult your way, usually with a smirk that’s equal parts mocking and playful.
“hey, loser,” karina calls as you’re trying to balance a stack of books in your arms.
“hi,” you shoot back with a smile, doing your best to sound unfazed.
“nice outfit,” she adds, eyeing your oversized hoodie and faded jeans. “did you rob a fucking thrift store for that look?”
“maybe,” you reply with a grin. “at least i’m consistent!”
she laughs (surprising everyone around her), her eyes flashing with that familiar mix of amusement and something else — something warmer. “still a loser, though.”
“and what about it?” you retort, shaking your head as she walks away, still chuckling.
it becomes a routine over the next few days. each time you cross paths, karina manages to find some new way to tease you. whether it’s about your outfit, your habit of carrying too many books, or your eternal obsession with legos, her comments are always mean-spirited, but in a way that somehow makes you smile because you know she doesn’t mean any of it.
“what, still working on legos?” she asks one morning, catching sight of a lego manual sticking out of your bag.
“yep,” you say brightly. “gotta build something, right?”
“how pathetic,” she drawls, but there’s a spark in her eyes that betrays the insult.
“at least i’m consistent,” you say, giving her a mock salute as you pass by.
not everyone understands the strange dynamic between you and karina. a group of boys in the football team who’ve been eyeing the whole thing decides to get in on the fun — or at least what they think is fun.
one afternoon, as you’re making your way across campus, you hear someone call out, “hey, loser! still building legos? what are you, five?”
you turn, your stomach sinking as you realize it’s not karina, but felix who is doing a poor imitation of her usual teasing. his tone lacks the playful edge, replaced with something harsher, meaner.
“seriously, you’re still into that kid stuff?” jake sneers, towering over you. “what, got nothing better to do with your life?”
you try to laugh it off, shaking your head. “just having fun, guys.”
“yeah, real fun,” taehyun mutters. “no wonder karina only talks to you to make fun of you.”
you flinch at that, the words cutting deeper than you expected. before you can think of a response, someone else steps in.
“hey! back off,” yunjin shouts, marching over with fire in her eyes. “what’s your problem?”
they all look momentarily startled, but jake just shrugs. “we were just joking around, yunjin. it’s not a big deal.”
“well, it’s not fucking funny to me,” yunjin snaps, her voice loud enough to draw attention. “and if i see you messing with her again, you’ll have to deal with me. got it?”
they mumble a few half-hearted apologies before retreating, clearly not expecting to get yelled at in public.
yunjin turns to you, her expression softening. “are you okay?”
“yeah,” you say, trying to sound nonchalant. “i’m fine.”
your roommate isn’t convinced, knowing you better than anyone else. she pulls you aside and demands to know if this has been happening often. you try to brush it off, insisting it’s just dumb teasing, but she’s not having it.
“i’m telling karina,” she says, her voice firm.
“don’t,” you plead, but she’s already walking off, determined to set things right. “it literally just started today!”
when yunjin finds karina, she doesn’t hold back. “your stupid jock friends have been picking on y/n,” she says bluntly. “all thanks to your teasing.”
karina’s eyes narrow instantly. “what? who?”
“those idiots on the football team,” yunjin explains, crossing her arms. “they think it’s funny to imitate you.”
karina’s expression darkens, a mixture of anger and something else — something protective. “where is she?”
“probably at lunch by now,” yunjin replies. “but karina, don’t just—”
“i’m going,” karina interrupts, her voice leaving no room for argument. she stalks off toward the cafeteria, her jaw set and her steps quick.
you’re sitting alone in the cafeteria, picking at your food and trying not to let the earlier incident get to you, but before you can get too lost in your thoughts, you hear a familiar voice.
“hey assholes,” karina calls sharply, her voice loud enough to turn heads. “got something to say to y/n here?”
you look up, startled, as she strides over to your table with the same jocks from before trailing behind her. they look a lot less cocky now, their heads bowed in a mix of embarrassment and fear.
“uh, we’re sorry,” felix mumbles first, barely making eye contact. “we were just messing around.”
yunjin’s eyes flash dangerously. “yeah? well, don’t. she’s off-limits.”
“seriously,” karina deadpans, her arms crossed - voice cold and mean. “if i see you pricks messing around with her again, you can say goodbye to your scholarships.”
you sit there, stunned and unsure of how to react. you weren’t expecting this; definitely not karina marching in like a one-woman army to defend you.
the boys mumble a few more apologies before scurrying off, leaving you alone with karina and yunjin.
karina lets out a slow breath, her expression still serious. “you okay?”
“i’m fine,” you say, still processing everything. “you didn’t have to do that.”
“yes, i did,” karina replies, her voice softer now. “and…i’m sorry.”
you blink, caught off guard by the sudden apology. “for what?”
“for making it seem like it’s okay to be mean to you,” she says, her tone unusually sincere. “i didn’t mean for it to go that far.”
you shrug, trying to play it off. “it’s fine. i know you were just messing around.”
“still,” she insists, her eyes meeting yours with an intensity that makes your heart skip a beat. “i don’t want you to feel like that. not because of me.”
you manage a small smile, the warmth in her voice easing the lingering hurt. “thanks.”
karina looks almost relieved, her smile returning in full force. “so, we’re good?”
“we’re good,” you confirm, feeling a strange mix of gratitude.
and as karina sits down next to you, the rest of the girls start joining in.
you’re sitting in the crowded lunch hall, trying to enjoy your chips while listening to giselle talk about some wild party they’re planning. as usual, karina is scrolling through her phone like she’s half-bored, half-amused by everything around her.
you pop another chip into your mouth and crunch loudly, completely unaware of how it sounds in the echoing hall.
“jesus, y/n,” karina suddenly blurts out, her voice louder than necessary and back to her usual self. “could you chew any louder? i’m pretty sure they can hear you in the next building.”
you pause mid-chew, feeling a blush creeping up your neck. “sorry,” you mumble, covering your mouth with your hand. “i didn’t realize it was that bad.”
she rolls her eyes, but there’s a hint of a grin tugging at her lips. “you sound like a woodchipper. it’s a miracle i’m still sitting next to you.”
“you could always move,” you say, trying to sound unfazed.
“nah,” she replies, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. “someone’s gotta keep an eye on you, make sure you don’t choke on those chips.”
you catch the faintest smirk on her face, and despite her words, you can’t help but smile. “you’re all heart, karina.”
she shrugs, pretending not to care. “you’re lucky i like charity cases.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
one day, karina manages to pull you out of your room and invites you over at the campus skate park. she’s doing tricks on her board like it’s the most natural thing in the world. you, on the other hand, are struggling just to stand on the board without wobbling like a newborn deer.
“come on, y/n,” she taunts, skating over to you with a smirk. “it’s not that hard. just balance, push off, and roll. even a baby can handle that.”
“easy for you to say,” you mutter, trying not to fall over.
she rolls her eyes but skates closer, reaching out to steady you. “here, let me show you. put one foot here, and the other here,” she instructs, positioning your feet.
you follow her instructions, but as soon as you try to push off, you lose your balance and crash to the ground with a loud thud.
her teasing expression instantly shifts to one of panic, her eyes wide as she crouches down next to you. “oh my god, are you okay? did you break anything?”
“just my dignity,” you groan, rubbing your sore butt.
“idiot,” she mutters, but there’s no heat in her voice. she offers you a hand, pulling you back up with surprising gentleness. “you fucking scared me, you know.”
“didn’t think you cared,” you tease, but there’s a warmth in your chest at her reaction.
“well, someone’s gotta keep you from killing yourself,” she says, her tone gruff but her grip lingering on your arm a bit longer than necessary. “just…try not to die, okay? i’m not ready to be a witness to your embarrassing end.”
“don’t worry,” you reply with a grin. “i’ll keep falling just to see that worried look on your face.”
she scoffs, but there’s no hiding the small smile that creeps across her lips. “you’re impossible.”
“and you’re mean,” you say, but there’s no real bite behind it.
“yeah, well,” she says, stepping back onto her board. “i only pick on the ones i like, loser.”
you watch as she skates away, your heart doing an odd little flip. this wasn’t good.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
it’s a rare moment of downtime in aespa’s usual whirlwind of rehearsals and chaos. the four of them are lounging in the practice room, sipping on energy drinks and half-heartedly tuning their instruments. giselle’s strumming random chords on her guitar, winter’s scrolling through her phone and ningning’s lounging on the floor, doing absolutely nothing.
karina’s leaning against the wall, her eyes distant and her expression unusually serious. she’s been quieter than usual lately, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed by the others.
“yo karina,” giselle suddenly says, breaking the silence. “what’s up your ass? you’re freaking me out.”
“nothing,” karina replies quickly, a little too quickly. “why are you always up my ass?”
“oh, please,” winter scoffs, looking up from her phone. “this is about y/n, isn’t it?”
her face stiffens, and she tries to play it off with an eye roll. “why would it be about her?”
“uh, maybe because you’ve been obsessed with her for weeks?” ningning chimes in, smirking. “seriously, the way you look at her, it’s like you’re trying to set her on fire with your eyes.”
the girl under interrogation’s cheeks flush slightly, but she keeps her expression neutral. “i just think she’s funny, that’s all.”
“sure,” giselle says, drawing out the word like she’s speaking to a child. “and i think jacob elordi is funny too.”
she glares at her, but it’s half-hearted. “you don’t know what you’re fucking talking about.”
“really? bullshit,” ningning continues, sitting up and crossing her legs. “it’s obvious you like her. the teasing, the constant calling her a loser, that thing where you get all weirdly protective of her? classic crush behavior.”
karina scowls, hating how transparent she apparently is. “she’s interesting.”
“interesting, huh?” winter teases, raising an eyebrow. “interesting enough to make you lose your cool every time she’s around.”
“whatever,” she mutters, turning away slightly. but her attempt at indifference only makes the others laugh harder. “fuck off.”
“you know, y/n’s actually not bad-looking,” ningning comments casually. “she’s kind of cute in that nerdy way.”
“if she cut her hair a little and maybe wore something that wasn’t a hoodie three sizes too big,” giselle adds, grinning, “she’d probably have all the girls swooning.”
karina’s jaw tightens at that, her mood shifting from defensive to something closer to possessive. “she doesn’t need to change anything,” she says flatly.
“ohhh,” winter coos, catching the change in her tone. “you know, i actually heard a couple of girls in my class talking about how cute y/n is. one of them even said she’d ask her out if she got the chance.”
“what?” karina snaps, her eyes narrowing. “who said that?”
winter grins, delighted by karina’s reaction. “oh, i don’t know. just some girls, but they sounded pretty serious.”
she stands up abruptly, her whole body tense. “which class is this?”
“whoa, chill,” giselle laughs, her eyes wide with amusement. “you’re not actually jealous, are you?”
her expression is a mix of annoyance and something deeper. “i just don’t like the idea of people trying to mess with her, that’s all. she’s my friend.”
“sure,” ningning says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “and i’m sure this sudden urge to go find her has nothing to do with jealousy.”
“whatever,” karina mutters again, already heading for the door. “i’ll be back.”
“where are you going?” winter calls after her, though she’s pretty sure she knows the answer.
“to make sure y/n’s okay,” she replies over her shoulder, her voice leaving no room for argument.
the other members burst into laughter as she disappears down the hall, clearly unable to resist the pull she feels toward you.
she makes her way to the building where she knows your class is held. she doesn’t exactly know which room you’re in, but that doesn’t stop her from pacing the hallway, her eyes darting to every door like she’s on a mission.
she leans against the wall, trying to play it cool, but her mind is racing. the thought of someone else being interested in you makes her blood boil in a way she doesn’t fully understand. it’s not like she’s made her own intentions clear, but the idea of you with someone else, it just doesn’t sit right.
she waits outside the classroom building for what feels like an eternity, her patience wearing thin. students start filtering out, and karina’s eyes scan each face, looking for you. she feels a strange mix of anticipation and anxiety, and she hates it.
finally, she spots you. you’re walking out with your head down, clutching a book to your chest. when you look up and see karina, your eyes widen in surprise.
“karina?” you ask, stopping in your tracks. “what are you doing here?”
she shrugs, trying to act casual despite the fact that she’s clearly been waiting for you. “just passing by.”
“really?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. “you’re ‘just passing by’ outside my class?”
karina scratches the back of her neck, looking uncharacteristically awkward. “maybe i wanted to make sure you weren’t gonna trip over on the way to your next class.”
“are you serious?”
her expression shifts slightly, her usual confidence faltering. “maybe.”
you can’t help but smile, a mixture of disbelief and amusement on your face. “you’re unbelievable, you know that?”
“i know, i’ll walk you to your class anyways.”
and for the first time, there’s no teasing, no sarcasm, just a moment of comfortable silence between the two of you.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
it’s a lazy afternoon, and you and karina are sitting on the floor of your dorm, legs stretched out as you dive into a bag of cheetos.
yunjin left the room to run errands, leaving you and karina in rare company. she came over to drop something off to yunjin, band stuff they said, even though your roommate could not be in one for the life of her.
“these are so good,” you mumble, licking the orange dust off your fingers as you looked at the screen in front of you.
karina watches you with an expression that’s equal parts disgusted and fascinated. “you’re a mess,” she comments, her tone as dry as ever.
“thanks,” you reply cheerfully, taking another handful of cheetos. but as you reach for your drink, you accidentally brush karina’s arm with your cheetos-stained fingers.
she flinches dramatically, her eyes wide. “oh my god, you did not just touch me with those filthy fingers.”
you stare at her, half-amused, half-embarrassed. “oh, come on. it’s not like it’s toxic waste.”
“might as well be,” she snaps, though there’s a glint of amusement in her eyes. “look at what you did!” she adds, pointing at the faint cheeto dust now smeared on her porcelain skin.
“sorry,” you laugh, grabbing a tissue and trying to wipe it off, only for karina to pull back like you’re trying to brand her.
“don’t touch me!”
“you’re such a drama queen,” you say, still laughing.
she scowls, but there’s no real anger behind it. “one of these days, you’re going to have to find someone else to hang out with.”
“and one of these days, you’re gonna admit you like hanging out with me, cheetos fingers and all,” you retort.
“don’t push your lock, loser,” her eyes narrow, but she can’t hide the small smile tugging at her lips. “come to our gig this weekend, please?”
you shook your head - unfortunately, you had plans. “i can’t, i promised mina i’d join her party tonight.”
and within a second, karina inches closer towards you — burning holes through your face. “mina? party? what?”
“oh, not that kind of party,” you don’t pick up on the way her tone changes. “it’s a chat party, we’re gonna play games all night and —“
“who is this mina?” her tone shifts and you don’t miss the way she clenches her jaw. “is she a girl from one of your classes?”
“she’s from japan, really cool and she sings too, sometimes she sends me legos from japan.”
“no, you’re coming to our gig,” she shakes her head, not wanting to hear another girl’s name coming out of your mouth. “and that’s final, yes?”
“yes, okay,” the directness catches you off guard but it doesn’t take long to convince you, specially if karina and her dirty stares are involved. plus, you could always join mina’s party later on.
a strange mix of emotions start brewing in your stomach — guilt, excitement and something you can’t quite name. you’ve never been good at reading people, and with karina, everything feels even more complicated. you’ve never liked anyone before, not like this, and the whole thing is so new, so raw. you don’t know if her insistence is just about wanting you in the crowd, or if it means something more.
you’re still trying to process it when karina stands up, stretching lazily. “i should probably get going,” she says, grabbing her jacket from the back of the couch. “ningning’s angry spamming me, i’m late to practice.”
“yeah,” you reply, watching her as she heads for the door. “have fun.”
“can i come over again later?”
you smile, feeling a heap of butterflies down your stomach. “anytime, jimin.”
she gives you one last, lingering look before she leaves, and you’re left alone in the suddenly too-quiet space, your mind racing with questions you don’t know how to answer as you head back to your room and turn your console on.
yunjin returns a while later, as your exactly three hours deep into disco elysium, looking a bit worn out but still cheerful. “hey, i’m back,” she calls, tossing her keys on the table before popping her head in your room. “did i miss anything?”
you hesitate for a moment, then decide to just spill it. “karina invited me to their gig this weekend.”
her eyebrows shoot up. “and? are you going?”
“yeah,” you admit, feeling a mix of excitement and confusion as you put the controller down. “she was really keen about it.”
she studies you for a moment, then sits down next to you, her expression serious. “what’s going on, y/n?”
“i just don’t get her,” you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. “one minute she’s mean, the next she’s nice. and now she’s acting all weird about me going to her gig. and she comes here to hang out with me but i know she’s a heartbreaker and i don’t want —“
“she likes you,” yunjin cuts you off bluntly, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“but what does that even mean?” you ask, feeling a surge of frustration. “i’ve never…don’t know how to deal with this. why?”
“it means she wants you there because she cares about you,” she explains patiently. “you know you’re a catch right? she even gets jealous when other girls are around you.”
“jealous?” you repeat, the word feeling foreign in this context. “how?”
“yes, jealous,” yunjin confirms, nodding. “karina’s not used to feeling like she’s not the center of someone’s attention, specially yours.”
you let out a sigh, your shoulders slumping. “this is all so confusing. i’ve never liked anyone before. i don’t know what to do.”
“you don’t have to do anything,” yunjin reassures you, her voice gentle. “just be honest with yourself. if you like her, let yourself like her. don’t overthink it.”
“easier said than done,” you mutter.
“i know,” yunjin agrees, her expression sympathetic. “but maybe this is one of those things you have to figure out as you go.”
you nod slowly, feeling a small sense of comfort in her words. “yeah, maybe.”
and as you sit there, replaying the conversation with karina in your mind, you realise that yunjin might be right. maybe this is something you have to navigate one step at a time, no matter how uncertain it feels. because despite everything, one thing is clear: you want to be there, even if you’re not entirely sure what it means.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the weekend arrives faster than you expect, and soon enough, you’re standing outside the venue for aespa’s gig. the usual nerves are there, made worse by the fact that this time, karina explicitly asked you to be here. yunjin’s with you, chatting excitedly about the show as you both head inside. your mind is elsewhere, tangled up in all the uncertainty that karina’s invitation has stirred up.
“you okay?” yunjin asks, nudging your shoulder as you both make your way to the backstage area.
“yeah,” you lie, forcing a smile. “nervous, i guess.”
“don’t worry,” she reassures you. “it’s gonna be fun, at least you’re finally with me instead of that musty corner.”
you try to take her words to heart, but as you step backstage, a new wave of anxiety hits. the chaotic energy of the crew prepping for the show is overwhelming, and you can’t seem to spot karina anywhere.
“she’s probably getting ready,” yunjin suggests, noticing your fidgeting.
“maybe,” you mutter, but something feels off.
you’ve been backstage before, but never like this. tonight, it’s different because you know karina specifically wants you here, which only makes her absence feel sharper.
after a few more minutes pass and there’s still no sign of her, you make a decision. “i’m gonna go look for her,” you tell the girls.
“want me to come with?” winter ask, looking back at you from the dressing cabinet.
you shake your head. “no, it’s fine. i’ll be quick.”
you wander through the backstage area, dodging equipment and crew members as you make your way toward the quieter sections.
that’s when you spot them: you’re certain it’s karina, standing in a dark corner with another girl, their heads close together.
a sinking feeling forms in your chest. something about the way they’re standing feels too intimate, like you’re intruding on a private moment. you can’t make out their conversation, but then you hear your name.
“y/n? really?” the girl scoffs, her voice dripping with disdain. “you’re actually interested in that pathetic loser?”
you recognise the voice now — it’s soyeon, karina’s ex. the one you’d seen flirting with karina before she even knew you, she was the ex.
karina’s voice is low, almost defensive. “she’s not a loser.”
“could’ve fooled me,” soyeon replies, her tone harsh. “come on, karina, you know she’s just a rebound.”
you feel your face flush, a mix of anger and humiliation burning in your chest. part of you wants to step forward, to confront them both, but your feet feel like they’re stuck to the ground.
then, suddenly, soyeon closes the gap between them, her lips crashing against karina’s. for a moment, she doesn’t pull away. instead, she seems to hesitate, caught between resisting and giving in.
that’s all it takes for you to turn and leave, your heart pounding in your chest. you push your way through the backstage crowd, barely registering yunjin calling after you. everything feels like a blur, like the world has tilted sideways and you’re the only one struggling to stay upright.
the whispers warned you — she’s a heartbreaker who still can’t get over her hot ex. and you really should’ve listened.
you’re back at your dorm before you even know how you got there. you slump onto your bed, trying to make sense of what you just saw. your emotions are a confusing mess of hurt, anger and a crushing sense of betrayal.
all the uncertainty you’d been feeling, all the questions you’d tried to answer, now feel pointless.
you’re not sure how much time passes as you sat in front of your tv, mina and some of your friends are on the other end of the screen, but then there’s a loud knock at the door.
“y/n! open up!” it’s karina’s voice and she sounds angry — knocks echoing throughout the quietness.
“damn y/n,” mina chuckles through your headset. “who did you piss off?”
“i fucking know you’re in there, don’t be a coward!” the knocks are louder this time and you’re almost certain she put some cracks on that fragile door.
you hesitate for a moment, but then you take the device off and stand up as you heave a sigh. “i’ll be back guys, won’t be long,” you hear a bunch of ‘ooooh’s’ from them before pause.
with hesitation, your expression is blank as you walk towards the door. as soon as the lock is twitched open, you stumble back as karina pushes her way in, her face flushed and her eyes filled with anger.
“why did you not show up? be fucking honest with me,” she demands, her voice sharp. “i told you i wanted you there — did that not matter to you?”
“yeah, well,” you say, your voice colder than you intended, refusing to meet her eyes. “i had a good reason. i really thought i knew you.”
she frowns, clearly confused. “y/n, look at me. what are you talking about?”
“i fucking saw you,” you clench your fists, the bitter words tumbling out before you can stop them. “back there, with soyeon. i heard what she said and then you kissed her.”
her eyes widen, and for a moment, she looks genuinely shocked. “wait, you were there?”
“obviously,” you chuckly bitterly, crossing your arms. “or do you just make out with your ex in front of your toys and rebounds at every gig?”
karina’s face hardens, her anger replaced by a mix of guilt and frustration. “it wasn’t like that.”
“oh, really?” you challenge, looking her in the eye this time. “because it sure looked like that from where i was standing.”
“she came onto me,” she insists, her voice desperate now. “i didn’t want it, y/n. you have to believe me, you mean so much more to me than you think.”
“i don’t have to do anything,” you say, feeling a surge of hurt rise up again. “you asked me to come and then you turned around and kissed her. how am i supposed to believe anything you say?”
she runs a hand through her hair, her frustration evident. “it was a mistake, okay? i was just caught off guard.”
“well, congratulations,” you say, your voice breaking slightly. “you definitely caught me off guard too. had everyone fooled.”
“please, y/n, you have to understand. i didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” she takes a step closer, her expression pleading.
“it’s my fault for believing something. tell me, was there a bet between you and the band too?” you ask, pushing her hand away as she tries to touch you. “how much was i worth?”
“what are you saying?” she asks, her voice almost panicked. “i do like you, way much more than i’d like to admit. and god, there are no fucking bets involved, okay? i fucked up and that’s it.”
“i don’t know if i can do this,” you admit, your chest tightening with the words. “i don’t know how to deal with all of this — specially not when you’re…clearly not on the same level as me.”
karina’s face crumples slightly, but she tries to hold it together. “y/n, i’m sorry. i really am. i don’t know why i did it. i know i’m a mess, but i don’t want to lose you.”
“you might have already,” you say, feeling tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, but refusing to let them fall. “but it was my fault for letting myself believe you could like me.”
“don’t say that,” she whispers, her voice filled with a kind of desperation you’ve never heard before. “i like you, of course i like you.”
you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “i need time, karina. i need to figure out what this means for me.”
she remains quiet for a minute, and you wish you can read what’s going through her mind but her expression softens and she nods slowly. “okay. i’ll give you time. just don’t shut me out completely, please.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
the days after the argument are rough, to say the least. you do everything you can to avoid karina —ducking into classrooms when you spot her in the hallway, sitting at different lunch tables, even changing your usual route to class.
the hurt and confusion from that night still linger, like a bruise that refuses to heal. you thought seeing her with soyeon would make things clearer, that it’d help you move on, but instead it’s just left you feeling hollow.
karina tries to reach out, of course. you get texts, missed calls, and the occasional knock on your dorm door that you pointedly ignore. the messages range from desperate pleas to frustrated demands, but you’re too tired to engage, too confused to even know where to begin.
“you can’t avoid her forever, you know,” yunjin says one evening as she flops down next to you on the couch.
“i’m doing a pretty good job of it so far,” you mumble, keeping your eyes fixed on your phone screen, pretending to be engrossed in bitlife.
“seriously, y/n,” she continues, her tone more concerned now. “you need to talk to her. she’s been a wreck. a stupid wreck.”
“oh, so now i’m supposed to feel bad for her?” you snap, the words more bitter than you intended.
she sighs, rubbing her temples. “no, but shutting her out completely isn’t going to fix anything. i know you’re hurt, and you have every right to be, but maybe there’s more to this than you realise.”
“more?” you ask incredulously. “like what? she kissed her ex. right after telling me she wanted me at the gig and leading me on. turns out, i was another rebound!”
“i get it, but people make mistakes. and from what the others told me, karina really does care about you and she’s really trying to show it.”
“well, she’s doing a great job of showing the opposite,” you bite back, leaning back into the couch.
“you need to hear her out,” she insists. “even if it’s just to get closure.”
“yeah, maybe,” you mumbled. “can we not talk about this anymore please?”
the next day, you’re in the middle of a study session in the library when giselle, winter and ningning appear, sliding into the chairs across from you. you glance up, already dreading what’s coming.
“we need to talk,” ningning says, her voice gentle but firm.
you sigh, closing your textbook. “if this is about karina, i don’t want to hear it.”
“too bad,” giselle replies, folding her arms. “because we’re not here for your approval. we’re here to make you face reality.”
you glare at her, but there’s no real anger behind it, just exhaustion. “and what’s reality, exactly?”
“reality is that karina’s a mess without you,” winter speaks, her eyes sincere. “she’s been snapping at everyone, barely talking to us. it’s like she doesn’t know how to function.”
“and you think that’s my problem?” you ask, trying to sound indifferent.
“yes,” giselle answers bluntly. “because whether you want to admit it or not, you care about her.”
“i don’t know if i do anymore,” you confess, your voice small. “look, my world was completely fine before she even knew who i was. i know i’ll be fine without her.”
“you don’t know that,” winter says softly. “and she knows she messed up. she’s trying to fix it, but she can’t if you won’t even talk to her.”
you feel a pang of guilt at their words, but the hurt from seeing karina and soyeon still lingers, like a wound that hasn’t scabbed over yet. “i don’t know if i can forgive her.”
“no one’s saying you have to forgive her right away,” ningnint replies, her tone surprisingly gentle. “talk to her. let her explain.”
“i’ll think about it.”
giselle puts a hand on top of yours, squeezing it gently. “thank you, y/n.”
later that night, you’re alone in your room, staring at your phone. karina’s last text is still on the screen: “please, y/n. just talk to me. i miss you.”
you close your eyes, trying to fight the urge to respond. everything about this situation feels messy and complicated, and you hate it. you’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and you don’t know how to navigate it. the push and pull of your emotions is exhausting and you’re torn between wanting to hear her out and wanting to protect yourself from more hurt.
as you sit there, you hear yunjin’s words echoing in your head: “you need to hear her out, even if it’s just to get closure.”
you let out a frustrated sigh, tossing your phone onto the bed. you know she’s right, and deep down, you know that ignoring karina isn’t going to make the pain go away.
the next morning, you wake up with a sense of determination you haven’t felt in days. you’re not sure if you’re ready to forgive karina, but you know you can’t keep running from her either.
you spend most of the day debating when and where you’ll finally confront karina. your nerves are on edge, your thoughts a jumbled mess of everything you want to say, but also everything you’re afraid to admit.
after your last class, you find yourself making your way toward the music building. it’s the only place you’re sure she will be — probably rehearsing with the others, maybe alone. the whole walk there, your heart hammers in your chest, and you can’t stop fidgeting with the strap of your bag.
you’ve rehearsed a thousand things to say in your head, but as you approach the familiar practice room, your mind goes blank. for a brief moment, you consider turning around and leaving. but before you can talk yourself out of it, the door swings open.
karina stands there, her eyes widening in surprise. for a second, neither of you speaks.
“y/n,” she breathes, her voice barely above a whisper. her eyebrow twitches when she notices your shaking hands. “hi, is everything okay?”
you swallow, trying to keep your voice steady. “can we talk?”
“yeah,” she says immediately, stepping aside to let you in. the room is empty, dimly lit, and filled with the lingering sound of guitar chords from earlier practice.
you both take a seat on the edge of the small stage, the air heavy with tension. karina’s gaze is cautious, like she’s afraid of making the wrong move.
“i know i don’t have the right to ask anything from you,” she starts, her voice low and raw. “but i really need you to hear me out.”
you nod slowly, bracing yourself for whatever she’s about to say.
“that night,” she continues, her eyes filled with regret, “i messed up. i let soyeon get too close, and i didn’t stop her soon enough. but i swear, y/n, it didn’t mean anything. it was a stupid moment of weakness.”
you feel a twinge of hurt, but you try to stay composed. “then why didn’t you pull away sooner?”
she looks down, as if the weight of your question is too much to bear. “i don’t know,” she admits, her voice breaking slightly. “maybe it’s because i was scared of how real things were getting with you. or maybe it’s because i’ve always been too good at sabotaging anything good in my life.”
“so, what am i supposed to do?” you ask, feeling a mix of frustration and vulnerability. “just pretend it never happened?”
“no,” karina says quickly, shaking her head. “i don’t expect that. i want you to know that you’re not just another person to me. you’re not a rebound, and you’re not a distraction.”
you take a deep breath, trying to process her words. “then what am i, karina? because honestly, i have no idea where i stand with you.”
her eyes soften, voice quieter than before. “you’re the first person who’s made me want to try. really try. and that scares the hell out of me, but i don’t want to lose you.”
you sit there for a moment, the words hanging heavy in the air. this whole situation is still new, still confusing, but her sincerity feels more genuine than anything you’ve felt from her before.
“i’m scared too,” you finally admit, your voice barely audible. “i don’t know how to do this, karina. i’ve never liked anyone before. not like this.”
her expression softens further, and she reaches out hesitantly, her hand stopping just short of yours. “we don’t have to figure it all out right now. i just want to be honest with you. and if you’re willing to give me another chance, i promise i’ll do better.”
“okay,” you say quietly, finally meeting her gaze. “one chance, karina. that’s all you get.”
her eyes light up with a mix of relief and something else, something that looks a lot like hope. “i won’t mess it up. i swear.”
you manage a small smile, feeling a tiny weight lift from your chest. “we’ll see.”
the days that follow are tentative, filled with awkward moments and intimate conversations. karina is different now — not softer, exactly, but more attentive. she tries to be less mean in her teasing, though the familiar edge still slips out sometimes.
“nice shoes,” she says one morning as you’re both walking to class. “you finally decide to wear something that doesn’t look like it came from a dumpster?”
you roll your eyes, but there’s no real bite in her words anymore. “you’re still terrible at compliments.”
“working on it,” she admits with a smile.
the rest of the girls notice the shift too, specially yunjin, who seems pleased with the progress.
“told you it’d work out,” she says one evening as you both sit in your dorm, watching another episode of the witcher.
“we’re not exactly there yet,” you warn, but there’s a small smile on your lips.
“well, you’re getting there,” yunjin replies confidently. “and that’s enough for now.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
then comes another gig, this time with less anxiety and more anticipation. you’re backstage again, but this time, karina finds you before the show starts.
“you came,” she says, a genuine smile breaking across her face.
“of course i did,” you reply, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. “i said i’d give you a chance, didn’t i?”
her eyes soften, and she reaches out, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “and i’m not wasting it.” as she heads for the stage, she throws a glance over her shoulder. “stay close this time.”
when the music starts, you find yourself smiling, the weight of the past few weeks finally beginning to lift. you don’t have all the answers yet, but for now, just being here feels like enough.
the end.
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bi-writes · 4 months ago
Note
Simon would never argue with MOB, that’s a given. And defending her honor??? Maybe it’s leaked that Mrs. Riley is in fact a Mail Order Bride for who knows where doing who knows what and let’s just say someone spreads that rumor around base and it gets back to one Lieutenant👀👀
mail-order bride
cw: graphic depictions of violence, a little smidge of dark!simon, misogynistic language (18+)
"here to see your husband, mrs. riley?"
you smile, shuffling in the chair. the woman who greets you is always here with a happy disposition, even when she's drowning in paperwork and the telephone on her desk won't stop ringing. she looks a little stressed today, but she gives you a smile anyways.
"yeah," you smooth your hands down your jeans, looking around. "told me his day would be slow, so i thought i'd bring him--"
you're interrupted by the sound of intense laughter and loud voices. the front doors open, banging against the wall practically, and a group of soldiers move past you. you fiddle with your purse, smoothing your thumb over the leather, but when you hear the subtle laughter and whispers still around you, you look up.
you make eye contact with several privates. they're whispering in each other's ears, but once they notice you're staring, they laugh a little more and make continue into the building. some of them look over their shoulder at you, and you look down to see if something is wrong with your outfit. when you check to make sure no tags are sticking out and that you haven't worn two different shoes, you just try to shrug it off, tucking your hair behind your ears and tapping your foot anxiously against the linoleum floor.
"okay, he's ready to see you. you know where it is by now, right?"
you blink, nodding, and then you swing your purse over your shoulder to walk over.
there's a game playing in the rec room. they've got banners up for their teams hung on the walls and streamers in different colors, and there's lots of men cheering and whooping in the room. just as you pass by the door, you squeak as you bump right into two laughing men, stumbling a little as they try to right themselves.
"fuck, sorry--" one of them chuckles. you frown a little but try to smile, moving to shimmy past them.
"is that her?"
"who?"
"didn't ya hear? lieutenant bought her off some sort of fucked-up catalog. heard she's real expensive."
you whip around, your lip trembling, and your shoes squeak against the floor as you stare right at them. one of them is smiling from ear-to-ear, and the other is laughing to himself.
"where did you hear that?" you ask.
"everybody knows, love," he winks. "so how much is it for a night? maybe we can do a group rate."
"e-excuse me?" you whisper, and he leans his arm against the wall, trapping you there.
"we heard all about the...program. thought maybe if we asked real nice, maybe we'd even get a discount."
"i don't know what you're talking about," you spit at him. "whatever you think this is, you're wrong. now get out of my way--"
"how much? how much did he fucking pay?"
"oh, mate--mate, you have to stop--" his friend tries to warn him, smacking him on the shoulder, but he glares down at you still, in your face, accusatory.
his face goes from smug to absolutely terrified when he's grabbed from behind. the hand that cages you against the wall is gripped by a gloved hand, twisted at an unnatural angle, and you flinch a little at the sound of his wail when his arm follows it's motion and a sickening pop echoes in the hallway.
his screams are suddenly drowned out by the cheering from the football game. someone scored maybe, but the man underneath simon screams, too, terrified as your husband mounts him like a fucking horse and slams his face against the floor.
it's like watching an artist. he paints his surroundings in flecks of red, the occasional clatter of a tooth falling at their feet, and you tilt your head to the side as you watch simon fist that man's hair and makes him eat whatever that floor is made of. he's in agony--that much is clear, from the way he shakes to the terrified look in his eyes, the pleading he sends your way as he asks for mercy.
when simon lets him go, he collapses onto the ground in a fit of bloody coughs and groans. his arm hangs from his shoulder limply (surely it's been pulled out of its socket), and his face is unrecognizable. you think his eyes were blue, but you can't tell anymore. they're red now, pupils blown wide, and he keeps moaning between broken teeth, "didn't mean it...i'm sorry...i'm sorry..."
simon kneels, leaning over him, and he grips the front of his uniform and pulls him up to sit, making him cry out from the pain. he tilts his head to the side, narrowing his eyes, and he drops his voice low.
"dunno where ya heard all tha' shit," simon mutters. "ain't true."
"n-no, sir--"
"i didn't say you could fuckin' talk," simon continues. "and if ya do again, i'll make sure ya can't." when he says nothing, simon tsks. "maybe ya wish ya could even afford my wife, mate. but ya can't." he tugs him a little closer. "'m gonna make ya an example. 'm not done with you. you are going to eat a fuckin' bullet from me, mate, but it won't be today. it'll be someday." simon presses his masked mouth to his ear. "but if i hear anyone else repeat wot you said 'ere today, i'll do it sooner. and you should know better than t'run...because i will find ya. wherever ya go." simon jostles him, and you swallow as he cries, trying to pull away, "now say thank you t'my wife. say thank you, because if she wasn't 'ere, i'd put my fuckin' boot in yer mouth--say it!"
"thank you! thank you!"
you simply blink as simon lets him go finally, standing, and as he walks past you, he grabs your hand roughly in his and starts to walk. you look over your shoulder as he tugs you along, and when you look back, you intertwine your fingers with his.
when the door closes behind him, simon slumps in his chair. he grips his mask from the back of the neck and pulls it off, burying his face in his hands. you set your bag down and kneel in front of him, putting your hands over his.
"simon--"
"wot the fuck is wrong with me?"
"simon--"
"i-in...i...i fuckin' lost it--"
you pull his hands off his face gently, cupping his cheeks. the eye-black smears a little around his eyes. there are no tears, but his eyes are watery as he stares into yours. his hands are shaking, and he palms his thighs to keep them steady.
"it's okay, simon," you whisper.
"i didn't want you to see me tha' way," he shakes his head. "violent. aggressive. fuck, i must've terrified you--"
"i'm not scared," you say softly. you smooth your thumbs under his eyes. "no one...no one's ever done anything like that for me before." you meet his eyes, and he leans a little more into your hands, bending low to get closer to you. "maybe he deserved it."
"i would...i would never--"
"shhh," you quiet him gently, shaking your head. "i know. i'm not scared of you."
you lean up, putting your hands on his knees and getting up just enough to get into his lap. you close your eyes as you kiss him softly, hugging him close, soothing him with a soft hand on the back of his head.
"you didn't do anything wrong, simon..."
"it's okay, baby..."
"i love you."
you know it isn't true. you're lying, somewhat, but it doesn't feel like a lie because it feels good. sick of being smaller, sick of being stepped on, sick of letting other people not be held accountable for the things that they do.
just this once maybe, you can let someone bleed. for misunderstanding you. for judging you. for not realizing there is a thing attached to you that bites and tears apart.
the world is a terrible place. and maybe you are simply just owed.
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dreamsteddie · 22 days ago
Text
Nancy knows what people think when they see her and Steve together these days. People mostly include Robin Buckley who, despite what they both say, Nancy doesn't completely believe isn't carrying some kind of torch for the man.
They aren't dating, but it's obvious to anyone who knows them that's what Nancy is angling for. She's not subtle, and she's not trying to be. Doesn't see any reason why she should be. But she knows what it looks like. Nancy Wheeler, fresh off an amicable but heartbreaking end to her relationship with Johnathan Byers has turned tail for a rebound with former boyfriend Steve Harrington. She's using him. She's leading him on. She's going to break his heart, again.
The truth is that Nancy has always liked Steve, was in love with Steve for a fleeting moment when they were both young and stupid and full of mistakes waiting to be made and in the end they had hurt each other, misunderstood each other, too many times to last through their tumultuous teenage years.
The Nancy and Steve of 1984 couldn't have loved each other right, but Nancy knows in her heart that the Nancy and Steve of 1987 could make something beautiful.
Steve is so different from who he used to be. There's a steadiness in him that he always tried to emulate but never fully embodied until the summer of 1985. He always knew how to make her laugh, how to get her to tap into that adventurous spirit within her and live life, but now he also makes her feel safe.
She wants to hold him the way he used to hold her. Wants to whisk him away to New York and build a life perfectly balanced between her ambition and his steadfastness. So she's putting everything she has into rekindling those embers that have always smoldered between them into a steady fire.
She just has to convince Robin that she's in it for the long haul this time.
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Robin thinks that before she met Steve Harrington her life was never so much like a soap opera.
Her best friend seems to attract danger, betrayal, and romance to him like the world is full of moths and he's the only flame for miles. It would be funnier if it wasn't so god damn annoying sometimes.
Steve doesn't know it, despite how much he insists on being some kind of love expert, but he's got two very eligible bachelors vying for his hand at the moment. She's pretty sure they both see themselves as tragic heroes in this tale of romance, but from her vantage point, it's more like two ornery cats fighting for the prized spot of their owner's lap.
Nancy and Eddie have made themselves both near-permanent fixtures at the Family Video. Ostensibly, they come in because Hawkins is still in the process of rebuilding and there isn't much to do at the moment outside of wandering the woods, loitering at the convenience store, and watching movies at home. In actuality they're both trying to monopolize as much of Steve's time as possible, each trying to lock down his weekend plans before the other.
The first couple of weeks it was funny just to watch, now the only enjoyment she gets out of the whole circus is ruining their plans. She relishes the pissed-off-priss look she gets from Nancy when she asks Steve to go to the drive-in the next town over and Robin turns it into a group outing instead. It's equally funny to watch Eddie's puffed-up shoulders droop when he can't figure out a way to say no to Robin enthusiastically asking if she can join them at the trailer to smoke up on a Saturday night.
In truth, as much as she enjoys messing with them, Robin knows who she wants to win this war. She knows too much about Steve and Nancy's past and all the ways they weren't good for each other to trust her deceptively fragile best friend in Nancy's capable hands.
Eddie, on the other hand...well she's still going to make him work for it before she throws him a bone.
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Eddie's never been one to fall in love.
He's had crushes, shared a few kisses with girls and boys alike, and lost his virginity in the same fumbling but meaningful way most teens do.
But love? He's never had that before, wasn't sure what it would even feel like.
It turns out that for Eddie, being in love feels a lot like being an overgrown house plant that's finally been moved into suitably a larger pot.
You see, Eddie knows a lot about growing up on his own. Raising himself and finding ways to survive, if not thrive, with a distinct lack of nurturing. He knows how to grow under someone, to grow under the clumsy guidance of his uncle Wayne who never intended to become a parent. And most of all he knows a hell of a lot about growing despite. Growing under the harsh boot forever trying to push him back into the hard dirt he came from.
It's something else entirely to grow with someone in the way he's been growing with Steve.
Steve who was there when he woke up, almost equally as injured as Eddie himself after a second, world saving round with Vecna. Steve who let Eddie lean on him in the difficult month of physical and emotional recovery that came next. Who helped Eddie come to terms with the new reality he was living under the way Steve wished someone had been there for him after his first encounter with the Upsidedown. Steve, who on paper should have been one of the people pushing him down, always gave Eddie the space to be himself and never tried to force either of them into a box they didn't fit.
Eddie knows he's not The Girl. He's not the one who got away, he's not the stalwart princess in one of his campaigns who saves the day herself but still gets the guy. He's not Nancy Wheeler.
But he's also not a quitter, and even if everything about the world and the narrative arc of their lives says that Steve will never end up with him, Eddie knows he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't put his hat in the ring for the hand of the fair Sir Steve.
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Steve's not stupid.
He knows that there's something happening between Nancy, Eddie, and himself. Knows that if he chooses to look a little closer, to examine why exactly all his weekends are suddenly booked up and Robin has taken to stealing the Recese's Pieces off the shelf whenever either one of them comes into the store like she's settling in for a show, he would come to the conclusion that two of his best friends are essentially courting him in competition with each other.
But Steve isn't looking closer.
His mom always said that he was just like his father, too stubborn for his own good.
Robin says he's a control freak, pushing non-life-threatening problems off until he knows how to deal with them on his own terms.
The truth is Steve already knows how this will end, and he knows how this should end.
Because in the eyes of society, in the arc of the narrative, Steve and Nancy should already be making plans to move out to New York and start a life together. Steve should be looking at apartments while Nancy finalizes her class schedule. He should be looking into getting a job at his dad's New York office to support his future wife through her college education where they both know she'll breeze through her classes and move onto the world-changing career she was always meant to have, while Steve stays home with their children like a perfect little modern family.
And the thing is, if the story had gone like it was supposed to, if the world had been saved the fourth time around and Eddie Munson had died on the cold, hard ground of the Upsidown, that's probably exactly the future that would have happened and Steve would have never known to not be content with it. But Eddie did make it, and while Steve mourns the future he could have had, he knows it's not the one he's going to choose in the end.
Even though Steve knows exactly what will happen when he allows himself to face the ever-mounting tension between the three of them, it's scary to take that plunge.
Everything about Steve's world up until Robin has told him that what he's going to choose will damn him forever, and even if he's never put much stock into God and the church, he knows that the future in front of them will never be easy. There's a part of him that wants to take the easy way out. He's never been attracted to a man before Eddie, never had to imagine himself loving someone discreetly, and the thought of it makes his heart hurt prematurely. It would be simpler, he knows, to choose the path most taken.
But Steve has always thought more with his heart than his brain, and he knows that after everything they've been through, after all the time they've spent healing together and growing as one that he could never choose anyone but Eddie.
The time is coming for him to make his final decision, he can feel it, but for now he'll let them sit in this liminal space a little longer.
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