#but she's had some bangers and i mourn for them

[cyborgrhodey]

regina spektor is a violent zionist, but i don't think it's constructive or honest at all for people to be like "well her art was always bad anyway." some terrible people have made great art. This idea that artists with unsavory morals can't make good art (1) only feeds into some people's mindset that if they dislike something, that MUST mean there is something ideologically wrong with it, and (2) some people then take longer to realize the true colors of their favorite artists because... good artists can't be ethically bad right?? and so they hang on to their faves and pretend they are so righteous and defend their every move when sometimes. sometimes you just gotta accept that your favorite art was made by somebody you don't agree with, and you have to identify how much you are willing to support someone like that and what lines you have that can't be crossed

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

We are heading into a bit of a quieter period for QL corner, with two shows ending now and another next week. At least we still have a true banger airing to sustain us through the drought. Smells Like Green Spirit is also now airing in Japan but has not yet been picked up for international distribution (pray for it to get to us soon). These shows are available for weekly streaming on Gaga unless otherwise noted.

Happy of the End

CWs: Blood and gore, child abandonment, child molestation, childhood sexual slavery, death, family rejection, heavy scarring, human trafficking, rape, sexual coercion and exploitation, suicidal ideation, suicide mention

This week was relatively lighter compared to last week's very rough episodes, but still so laced with sadness even in its happy moments. Haoren mourned his mother, and finally admitted to himself, and to Chihiro, that she was never protecting him. The show dug deeper into how this bond between them is giving them both a reason to shake off their apathy about survival, though that is definitely touch and go for both of them. The way Haoren experienced a few moments of happiness and immediately jumped to the conclusion that he would like to die now because he'll never top this feeling was telling, as was Chihiro casually laying down in the street and not moving until Haoren dragged him away. They don't have any real hope for a better life, but they each seem more invested in the other's survival than their own, and that is giving them something to cling to. It was nice to see them have some moments of trust and connection between them, and for Haoren to finally feel safe enough to strip himself bare, physically and emotionally. I'm bracing for a rough final week, with Haoren's former enslaver coming after Chihiro in a bid to destroy the source of Haoren's new happiness. I don't really know what to hope for in terms of an ending for these characters; I just hope the show can leave us with the sense that their relationship mattered and gave them something they can each hold onto.

Love is Like a Poison

This episode had me screaming with laughter and delight. Haruto can read his Ryo-kun like a book, and Shiba can't seem to figure out which way is up. I don't even want to describe all the hilarious gags and sexy tension and extremely unsubtle metaphors in this episode; I don't want to ruin it for anyone. Go watch!

Chaser Game W 2

Of all the great JQL we've gotten in the last year, why this one got picked up for a second season I could not tell you. I was less than impressed with season 1, and I don't have high hopes this next go round will be any better. Especially after watching the first ep of this new season, in which they unceremoniously undid the ending of the last in a laughably silly way only to introduce a new, more annoying conflict. They could have made something of a story about Fuyu trying to work out a way to manage her family life to be with Itsuki, but they'd rather hand wave that away via gay penguins in favor of a new love triangle. Whatever, show. Here we go again, I guess! I’ll be watching this one mostly to support the ratings.

Tagging @bengiyo to do our last anime update for the next little while, as Twilight Out of Focus has officially ended its run and there is no new animated ql on the horizon.

[thievinghippo]

So I promised a postmortem and it’s finally time! Here’s the TL:DR. I loved it. I can already tell I’ll probably have more played hours in this game than Inquisition, and I fucking loved Inquisition! Good, bad, and ugly beneath the cut and there will be heavy spoilers for the entire game, so read at your own risk. (This is also long, because I have a lot to say!)

THE GOOD

Rook. Once I let go of my preconceived notion of how Rook was (mid-40s and serious but kind) and accepted Rook for the young, sarcastic character they are, I fell in love. Edda is going to be an A possibly even S tier OC for me

The dwarves. We were fed so well, y’all. So much lore and dialogue choices. There was even a Grey Warden dwarf specific dialogue choice. I love the confirmation of what we all suspected with the Titans. I just wish that a dwarf Rook had the opportunity to confront Solas. He apparently apologizes to Harding. But what about a dwarf Rook?

Exploration. I’m an idiot when it comes to figuring out in-game puzzles and such. I’ve read some complaints that everything was far too easy, but for one of the first times I remember, I could do a vast majority of puzzles and finding treasures without consulting a game guide. And I was actually proud when I figured things out. When I play Edda again, I’m going to 100% the world and I cannot wait

The Companions. Bonus points for Emmrich Volkarin. I ended up loving all of them. Even the ones I was very ‘meh’ on before playing the game. Like Bellara. She was on my list to romance second to last. And she has moved up to third, after Emmrich and Davrin. 

Emmrich Volkarin. Yes, he gets his own special mention. I love him so much that I created a second Rook to romance him. That way I have one Emmrich that is not a lich (Edda’s choices) and one Emmrich that is a lich (Sonnet’s choice). I love his compassion, his kindness, his reverence of the dead. I adore his romance and how clear it is that Rook has bewitched him, body and soul. The fact that they lean into the age gap and it becomes entwined with his own fears of death. He has my favorite personal quest. I loved the music, the atmosphere. How it pertains to his own journey, facing his mortality (plus Johanna Hezenkoss can get it). Plus it has the banger line of ‘Show them what a real necromancer can do!’ I even can’t wait not to romance him and see what the friendship is like and encourage him to hook up with Strife

The backgrounds. Granted, I’ve only played through the game 1.5 times, but there have been so many background mentions. Especially for the Grey Wardens. Mourn Watch has some great ones too. I mean, there was Grey Warden romance banter during a fight. In a side quest! I can’t wait to discover more

The character creator. I love how inclusive it is, especially when you compare it to previous Dragon Age games. The hair is beautiful (but where is my braid crown! my kingdom for a braid crown!) and I have overweight OCs, which make me very happy. Varric's shaving mirror is also amazing, and because I want EA to know that people are using these options, Sonnet is a trans woman who will save Thedas

THE BAD

Weird tonal switches. Emmrich and Harding are going to Ferelden so she can show him around but the South is being razed by darkspawn. Harding’s mom sends her back with pie and gives great hugs. How in the world are they getting to Ferelden? Rook was amazed to see the Inquisitor in the North so why would the members of the Veilguard be able to go to the South? Some of the codex entries are so dark and yet everyone is happy in the Lighthouse 

Give Rook a problem, please! I kept waiting for Rook’s LI to go up to her and ask if there’s anything distracting her. If there’s any problem they could solve together. But that never came and Rook is apparently the only person on the team that can’t be distracted by their own problems. How amazing would it have been if Rook had some sort of personal quest. Maybe based on lineage. Or background. Something that shows that she matters as much to her companions and they mean to her

The Act One Choice. Still mad about it. Are you telling me that two extra people would have saved Minrathous? That a city full of the most powerful mages in the known world couldn’t take down a fucking dragon? It didn’t feel earned and it did annoy me a great deal

Let. Rook. Mourn. While I appreciate that Rook was able to mourn Varric and Davrin (in my playthrough) privately, the fact that it immediately jumps to a sex scene sort of bothered me. Especially Emmrich’s taking them to the Necropolis so they can bang in a coffin. This was not the time to leave the Lighthouse, Emmrich! The rest of the team got to mourn Davrin and worry about Neve together. I wish Rook could have been a part of that too. 

Let’s talk Varric’s death. I didn’t see it coming. I actually ranted to a friend before I knew what happened that they should have killed him in the prologue if this was how they were going to use him. Oops. I hate how callous the truth about his death makes Rook look. I hate that Harding and Neve didn’t even really seem to mourn. Hate how the Inquisitor or Dorian or Isabela don’t mention him at all. I hate how obvious his death is in my second playthrough. I will have to fix this all in fanfic

THE UGLY

Assuming there is another DA game, where do we go from here? I really dislike the concept of the Executors in the secret ending. One thing I’m optimistic about is that by basically wiping the south off the map, we might be able to have more games there. Because everything will have been reset, so to speak. How does the South deal with the mages when they’ve all been fighting darkspawn for their lives? Put them back into Circles? I think not

I’m also not sure about what choices would move forward into a new DA game. Not talking companion choices, but choices that actually affect the world. No matter what we do, the Blight is over and the Veil is safe. If BioWare couldn’t be bothered to have the Well of Sorrows choice matter, I can’t imagine they’ll care how Solas was bound to the Veil, whether it be by choice, trickery, or force. Minrathous or Treviso is the only other non-companion choice I can think of that might possibly matter

But honestly, it doesn’t matter, because who knows if we’ll ever get another Dragon Age game? I know I would love one, but I have this sinking feeling there won’t be (please let me be wrong!)

So there you have it. I really love this game, good, bad, and ugly. And I found so much more to love than to dislike. I have a feeling I will be yelling about this game (and Emmrich!) for a long, long time

[evergreenalice]

having finally beaten ToTK awhile ago, I feel I can give some thoughts, I have many, but I'll focus on the story right now

my main feeling towards the game is frustration

this game had some of the best scenes in any Zelda game, full stop

Ganondorf's unsealing, fucking banger

the dragon scene? fucking AMAZING

drawing the master sword high up above the clouds? Beautiful

"Remember this name" as the main theme plays in the background, FUCK man

and that was possibly the coolest final boss of any video game I've ever played

but everything else is just... meh

and it's really frustrating, I feel like if given more time to cook, they could've made something really fucking cool

the story was really disorganized, and frankly, I got tired hearing the same thing 4 times, not skipping any of the sage cutscenes in hopes something, ANYTHING, would be different, but they weren't, I was fed the same thing four times!

and ultimately... I wasn't that invested in the story

some say that Zelda has always had bad stories, and this is just false

Zelda has always had relatively simple stories

but I was invested in stopping Ganon in OoT, I saw his impact on the world, and I saw how it impacted characters I'd grown to love!

I was really invested in the story of Link's Awakening, I didn't want the island to disappear, but it had to as sad it was

I think I cried the first time I beat LA as a child

but... here? Meh, I didn't feel the stakes, they were certainly there, but I mean, when it came to viewing the past, I cared about Zelda I guess, I like her, and I mean, the really fucking good scenes in the past are centered around her

I somewhat cared about Rauru and Sonia, but I mean, that was several millennia ago, I don't mourn dead people from the 2nd century much, of course they're dead, it was long ago, perhaps their death was tragic in some way, but, I don't feel that upset at it

and for the ancient sages... not even the writers cared about them! They don't even have names! WE DON'T EVEN SEE THEIR FACES!

and in the end, the most powerful part of the story, a beautiful scene of sacrifice... was just undone

and I'm not saying that Zelda shouldn't have been saved

BUT

let there be consequences

say that perhaps, she is very negatively impacted by her experience, it may take years for her to get over what has transpired. Which isn't impossible, and is still a hopeful note... but there were consequences, ones that will be overcome with great effort, and community, and support

but instead we are left with Zelda as she was... prior to her sacrifice, she doesn't remember it

I'm not saying happy endings are bad, but, a happy ending out of nowhere with no consequences? I don't like that

I grew up playing Zelda, and often these games had a sense of melancholy to them

Link saved the wind fish... and in the process lost that entire island of people, and Marin in particular

Link sealed away Ganondorf, and went back in time to warn the kingdom, and live out his childhood that was stolen to him... but he knows he's not a Kokiri, his identity was false, and he fundamentally, as Saria said, is of a different world from her, there is an innate barrier that will only grow between him and his former home, and in the end he will eventually become the Hero's Shade

Breath of the Wild did this well, it is a game about the aftermath of your failure, Zelda and Link have both lost their past, they can't return to it, they've failed, and time only moves forward, and they do

in all of these cases, it's not entirely negative, there is hope, there is a future

but there's also melancholy, there is loss, and I think that's something that ToTK just couldn't do

[tomboyyyaoi]

FUCKDUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKUFCKUFKCUFKCVUKV STANPEDEE STATURDAY THOUGHTSD I FUCKING GUESS OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKINGV GOD FUCKING TRIGUN FUCK

AAAAAAA

aaaahhAAAHHHHH

AAHH FCUKFUCKFUFUCK WHTFUCK??? FUCK

FUCK

SHIT

OH MY GOD

elendira is such a little drama queen bitch i love her, annoying little sister coded, can i get 5 more of these little blonde bitches

WE ALL FUCKING CALLED IT I WAS SUCH A PEDDLER OF THIS THEORY BUT I WASNT EXPECTING IT THIS EPISODE I REALLY LIKED HOW IT WAS DONE IM GOING NUTS A LITTLE BIT

MERYLLLL MERYL MERYL OH MY GOD the fact the derringer still has his blood on it makes it SO FUCKING GOOD her pressing the button to go back up w her red raw eyes and loading the derringer w shaky hands oh my god im going fucking nuts im obsessed

BANGER vashwood moments this ep how r u guys doin

SCARS SCARS SCARS SCARS SCARS

FUCK the fact conrad has just been using human kids as bases for clones of knives.... the extent of his experiments, absolutely fucking vicious i love how much they are pushing that he is truly a piece of shit

knives' little eye on his.. knife. epic swag begging for some more body horror

let us not forget roberto got merked by a little trans girl. i support trans rights and trans wrongs, rip bozo ill miss u

nick continuing to treat other eye of michael experiments like siblings he is their annoying big brother who they all hate♡

"wolfwood. thank you for everything" pff gay u'll see him tomorrow i bet

vashs smarmy lil wave at meryl and roberto while A) roberto was fucking dying (unbeknownst to him tbf) and B) meryl was screaming at him thru the glass not to go bc it was a trap. very vash of him.

VASH AND WOLFWOOD GETTING CAUGHT BY THE POLICE BC VASH FUCKING SNEEZED then wolfwood fucking punching him in the head for it which was the most vashwood moment ever THATS their dynamic... 2 me...

JULY LOOKS FUCKING AWESOME its like this super cool mix of steampunk and cyberpunk i really fuck w it, LOVE the culture in it too i love the idea of other cultures being alive on nomans land not just american

zazies lil "aw man. >:(" wen meryl n roberto just walked off with conrad THEY R SO PATHETIC i love them. best antagonist.

wolfwood getting the scar reveal scene instead of meryl is a little weird but oddly enough? i dont mind! ik im a stark mash head but im unbothetrd (looks like shes gnna go in to save him next ep anyway n im BUZZIN 4 that)

roberto sat FUCKING DYING in the elevator and just bein like "im 2 sober 4 this :/" bitch im gnna miss u

KNIVES SAYING HES GNNA REBUILD VASH THEN CHUCKING HIM IN A BIG PLANT VAT?????? RRRGGHEHFHFHGGRGFG GOING NUTS

we r gathered here 2day 2 mourn the loss of roberto deniro, we all knew u were gnna die, we all called it but man? u were great while we had u, bringing a certified smarmy depressed alcoholic uncle vibe to the group that was so much fun in contrast with the others, rip bozo, gnna miss u big boy

anyway fuck fuck man mother fucker fuck shit man shit fuck fuck motherfcukdf come back next week for more

[utilitycaster]

Didn't get a chance to update my progress last night before CR started but. many things have happened:

Did Davrin's companion quest. I must say. Davrin is a fucking INTENSE person. He wants to talk all the time back at the lighthouse. He uses the most wild hunting metaphors. He is single-minded and arrogant. It is a vibe and he is fun to talk to but he is So Much (I say, known Paladin enjoyer). I also need to level him and the other new companions up more (I am NOT playing favorites even though I have them) but the thing is also, I play a warrior so I was doing pretty good with my initial crew of rogues and mages. The quest was great though, Assan is adorable and I did like learning about Davrin's past (which he's really forthcoming about). You get the sense this man hasn't had anyone to talk to in a while but unlike Neve or Lucanis he's like "and I'm going to do so IN ABUNDANCE." (Bellara and Harding and Emmrich seem to have had more people to talk to; Lucanis would have but for the year in the Ossuary; hard to read Taash).

I have picked up Emmrich! there was a weird crossroads thing where I could eavesdrop on the elven gods whose names I can't spell reliably due to the apostrophes. I love the crossroads by the way. I am trying to balance out my impatience with doing quests (including sidequests) and hanging out at the lighthouse watching Lucanis explain cacio e pepe to Bellara (real thing that happens and it's glorious; it's a way for you to also catch that Lucanis is buying nice coffee for when Neve comes back, pardon me while I lie face down on the floor) with the fact that I would LOVE to explore things forever with the fact that I can't read a fucking map apparently. ANYWAY brought Bellara there and she and Emmrich are pen pals, so this was fun. I fucking love the Necropolis, which is good because I do play a Mourn Watcher and it would be weird if I didn't, but I must admit Emmrich's recruitment quest is like "kill six billion demons while I do a ritual for a bell" and it's like professor you must be shitting me. Then again I play a Mourn Watch warrior (I have heard this is weird within canon lore, to which I say fuck you I'm a cavalier, also clearly SOMEONE needs to kill venatori and ferry around wisps and slay demons and these mages sure aren't doing it, AND the reaper specialty fucks hard AND I get to say goth things that Neve and Emmrich like and Myrna needs SOME boots on the ground to boss around, so there) so it would be kind of weird if I hated it. Anyway Emmrich is great.

Harding is like, a sleeper character; I like her a lot but as a person with no emotional attachment to Inquisition I'm more drawn to the other three starter companions, and she's solid in combat but not flashy for the most part. However I perked the fuck up when she said she felt sorry for Solas and thinks he's deeply lonely; that was a banger conversation and I do think loneliness and not knowing where you fit into the world is very much a theme of this story.

Neve sent a letter saying Rana, Elek (Threads paper seller) and Hal (street fish merchant) were alive but she needs to stay there. This is honestly the best news; if Hal had died I would have never forgiven myself.

Went to do one Mourn Watch quest and was immediately given two more Myrna is my boss and she's like I know we sent you away for "going against the nobility" even though it was "baller" but now that you have a reason to be back temporarily, please do 3 quests now. And I did, and it was pretty great, although the wisp-ferrying stresses me the fuck out.

Decided that before I seek out the trillion other sidequests that suddenly popped up I should grab Taash, because i kept getting "Tab" pop-ups because I have my game on "I don't know what the fuck I am doing mode" to light Necropolis braziers and then they were like "haha no one can do this, Rook, you dumb bitch". There's also Gaatlok somewhere in Minrathous that I couldn't do shit with. So I did that. Taash fucking rules. I was expecting to not necessarily like them not because of their vibes, but because in real life when I encounter 23 year olds I'm like you're baby. And they are, sort of, baby, but they're also hilarious and blunt and a lot of fun. The surliness towards their mom is great; the fire breathing rules; I finally understand the Antaam's deal. I will say I need to go back to the Appearance Mirror because I picked up a really sick shield that does NOT go with my aesthetic. I respect you slutty pirates, but I am a goth. This also ngl makes me wonder what I would do on a replay because Lords of Fortune are not my personal vibe, though Isabela seems great. Probably Veil Jumper honestly. or a mage crow, which would also probably not work with the lore? really my issue is I love the shadow dragons and also probably will always save Treviso so I can never play it because I am if nothing else loyal. Point being, Taash is here and I'm excited.

Neve is back and she's colder than ever towards me! I don't care, she's back and I re-statted her, time to take her out into the field and destroy shit. This does mean I will probably need to, for the first time, make Lucanis heal me. I don't usually need much healing because Story Mode but I'm very slowly learning combat and one day perhaps might inch up to a higher combat level and then I will. Also the champion fights and the dragon fights. I'm just really terrible at avoiding AOE. Also maybe I'll finally use her time slow stuff. I haven't been doing much with the buff abilities because I am a melee/tank/shield-throwing beast but Davrin's taunts were actually very useful.

I have so many side quests and also some main quests so I have no idea what to do. Might check out Morrigan in fallen Minrathous; might do the veil jumpers quests though. There's also some quest in Treviso I haven't pursued and something I picked up in Taash's room. Everyone's back so might as well!

I haven't been talking a ton about all the little codex bits but they are great, and specifically it is important you know that the first book club occurs AFTER everyone is recruited, which is to say, Taash, Davrin, and Lucanis do not attend for whatever reason but Neve, who is grieving and angry, does. This is hilarious.

Manfred and I are tied 1-1 on Rock Paper Scissors; I have been petting Assan every time I go check on the unhinged pantry conversations or go talk to Davrin.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Impressions of ttpd under the cut.

Okay, I’m writing my thoughts down as I listen so I don’t lose track.

Songs I’ve listened to : Fortnight, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart, Fresh Out The Slammer, Florida, Guilty As Sin, I Can Fix Him, loml, How Did It End?, The Prophecy, I Look In Peoples Windows, The Bolter, Peter.

Songs I liked: The Bolter, I Look In People’s Windows, The Prophecy, Peter.

KEEP IN MIND: I only listened to the above mentioned songs. Albums are usually meant to be consumed as albums. So if I’m missing certain pieces of he puzzle because I skipped around, lmk/ remember that as you read this.

General note/ TLDR: there are moments of strength on the album. It’s not all bad. In the songs I liked most you can even see the signature strengths of TS, story telling being one of them. But the album feels too bloated and might be her weakest work imo.

The aesthetic: confusing! She oscillates between the asylum and the poet motifs. I understand why. I think a perfect combo for this would’ve been the dark academia trope. She should have embraced that fully. Madness/ darkness as a result of love and creativity is a huge theme in dark academia and in the 18th century poetry that it comes from. She seems to be circle those vibes. But the whole asylum, craziness, poetry, creativity, childhood innocence, corruption and sex, end up confusing the message when they all could have fit coherently together if she did the academia thing.

Positives: the album is hella relatable. The type of love that she describes (setting aside who it’s about) is something I’ve definitely experienced and it’s definitely stuff that people in love will do. Justify acting stupid even when deep down they know what they’re doing will only harm them/ the other person doesn’t see or appreciate it. Building a grandness around the feelings you have for the other person the deeper you fall for them, looking back and mourning that version of yourself as much as you’re mourning the relationship / losing someone. Or like realizing that the greatness that you saw in someone was due to the respect you had for them and goodness you imbued them with not because they were actually worthy of those things…that’s a big ass feeling to accept. Super real. Been there. It stingssss lmao. So I appreciate the honesty.

She’s always known how to tell a story! The Bolter and Peter are great examples of this but it’s in all the songs that I liked. And this has been true since day one. Her classic bangers like “Love Story” and “You Belong With Me” all the way down to Folklore and Evermore. In fact, I think that’s why when Red initially came out in 2010 people found it confusing. She herself always says it’s part of the country music genre that she took with her. Red did that in pop form and purists didn’t enjoy it. She does it on ttpd as well. In some songs it works, in others not so much.

Which brings me to the negatives: when it doesn’t work, it REALLLLY doesn’t work. Like in Guilty As Sin and How Did It End? Which for me are the lowest points form the collection of songs that I listened to. There’s some reality in there I’m sure, but it gets lost under all the bloated metaphors. I don’t think there’s a single line in either of those songs that isn’t supposed to be metaphorical and fake deep. It’s too much! She should’ve stripped it back / edited herself heavily in those songs. The result is she sounds ….idk empty?? Trying too hard. Like straining to really convince you that she’s devastated for real. I’d believe her more if she didn’t feel like she had to prove to me how much pain she’s in and just laid it out as it is.

The album sounds like too much of the same thing? I say this and I didn’t listen to the whole thing. Like the whole breathy/ broody sound and production is the same throughout. Sometimes, artists will do this on purpose to give the album a cohesive identity or to suggest that it’s one story unfolding over time. Like in AM’s 2014 album. That’s not the vibe I got here. Then again, see my disclaimer about not listening to the whole album maybe if I had listened to it from beginning to end I would feel differently. But the vibe I currently get is that some songs might have been recorded in the same writing session so they were too close to each other artistically cuz that’s the idea that was in her head at the time. Or like some songs were made from scraps leftover from another song that came before it. You know what I mean? It’s hard to kill your darlings, as creative writing teachers always say, but sometimes you really should, lol.

General frustration: this album doesn’t have a signature Taylor Swift song that I can sink my teeth into or play in the car, or on the radio and I genuinely don’t think there has ever been a Taylor Swift album where at least one song didn’t go viral/ become a likeable hit.

Overall not as trash as some takes have made me think however nowhere near as good as a TS album should be. Yeah. That’s all I’ve got.

[officialdaydreamer00]

some lore crumbs and silly rambles about irene lovejoy's family history and powers (which will be more detailed and fleshed out when i write 'the House of Engelika' and 'DOOMSDAY DEVICE')

FAMILY

the house of engelika had a long history with mixed origins, a few of which were recorded from southern europe during the 1600s

their family tree used to have so many branches for siblings, cousins, nephews and nieces, but a lot of them got struck out as either disowned, unrecorded, or dead

their family name changed from engelika to angelis to lovejoy when irene's great-great-grandmother married a man with that surname

irene's middle name is angelika, in honour of their original family name

irene has four younger sisters named after the muses

POWERS

initially, i gave her technology related powers since her og lore had her created a soon-to-be popular video game (*cough* minecraft) and thus born birb child erin

later on, i thought "owls and crows are cool birbs and i like them *gasp :O* maybe,,, i can recycle erin's idea and turn that into her powers instead!!" ,,,,,and then percy jackson came roundhouse kicking me in the face :'D so i made her a child of athena bc it kinda fits her vibes and personality. but that's another au and i digress ^-^

then my irl and i, we goofed around with our ocs' dorm outfit, and i threw in a variant of victorian mourning dress for shits and giggles. I DID NOT THINK WE'D RENOVATE RAMSHACKLE INTO A FUNERAL HOUSE— :'D

and after that, derivakat made her grand comeback with her dsmp bangers, aka doomsday (especially doomsday), and that got me thinking "dark irene??" and whipped out a design for her dorm uniform, with braincells losing sessions with my irl :D

so now, her current power is: dark arts with a huge side of crow summoning :D she can (kinda) manipulate dark matter and/or shadows, and can summon a murder of crows from inside her cloak to do her biddings. she can also talk to crows (and, to an extent, owls) as a result, like philza minecraft and his chat :D

tagging people in lore to confuse them: @identity-theft-101 @thehollowwriter @xen-blank @taruruchi @axvwriter @cookiesandbiscuits @azulashengrottospiano @ferris-the-wheel @dove-da-birb @siren-serenity @edith-is-a-cat @escha-evenstar @ameleii @loser-jpg

[h-doodles]

hi, can I ask for your top ten favorite fics ? :)

Hi anon hiiiiiiii welcome!!! u caught me at a good time, ur soooo lucky bc i just glanced at my notifs and saw this ask get sent <3 KDBDKDKK its been literal years since i checked my ask box 👉🏻👈🏻

BUT ANYWAY! top 10 of all time???? be warned that while i am currently enchanted with ONE (1) 6 ft 3 in actress, I still do consider myself a girlie with varied tastes so. my old & other fandoms are mixed in my current list!

without further ado:

#10: knowledge for knowledge's sake by tigriswolf (ao3) || quite an old piece detailing how a change in the personality of one Hermione Granger could have had a massive impact to the story— and while I don't fuck with JKTerfling, the fics I've read from the old fans in the HP fandom are still honestly, some of the BEST I have EVER read. This one in particular irrevocably changed me as a teen, and is one story that I continue to draw inspiration upon when I create dark!AUs for my SI/OCs.

#9: Zutopia by itslivybear (ao3) || the fluff, the worldbuilding, an AU where Izuku is mentored by our beloved Rat God & together, they fix the world problems? GIRLIES catch me forever LOVING this concept like you could NEVER believe <3

#8: (not so) Bad Idea by @sarahpaulsonsoftie (tumblr post) || HEE HEE ITS LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE LIKE HELP THESE BITCHES GAY!!!!!! GOOD FOR THEM!!!!!!! ft a meddling plantita who really mothered; Marilyn Thornhill <3

#7: Hold my Soul by connyhascontrol (ao3) || I got into Trixie/Katya completely by one @montaguehphm introducing me to UNHhhh (HIIIIIII bestie I hope everything is going good and that ur gay keeps slay <3) and I haven't recovered ever since— reading the fics by writers on AO3 was a happy little accident, but one i will FOREVER love, nonetheless. Anyway, this particular fic was SO brilliantly original and YET so entrenched in the personalities between T&K that it ABSOLUTELY just wrecks me everytime I reread it. anyways hi @connyhascontrol pls know ur brilliant <3

#6: I think I'm gonna call him out by hellelf (ao3, users only) || again, another AU for Hermione fic, that's chockfull of world building and interesting relationships! It's been unupdated from its 5 chapters since 2021, but I still LOVE to look back at it from time to time 💖

#5: The Confectionary Chronicles series by cheshire_caroll (ao3); Into the Black series by angelholme (ao3); Hermione Granger & the Serpent's Renaissance series by epsi1on (ao3) AND New Blood by artemisgirl (ff.net) || if it's not evident, i am an absolute slut for fics ft. Hermione being badass & put into a v cool plot w/ insane amounts of world building, so yeah, def a top 5 most contender <3

#4: The Infinitely Curious Woman by chararii (ao3) || literally ALL of their fics are absolute bangers, and while I forever mourn their decision to stop all Naruto fics thanks to the great harddrive incident of 2022, I have nonetheless the GREATEST respect to their skill & talent to bring SUCH LIFE to their stories. In particular, I chose this particular fic of theirs because the premise of Sakura making her own way by shedding off her morality the more she learned & got influenced by her 2 greatest teachers was absolutely nothing short of DIVINE. It was and IS such an inspiration to read, reread & explore, and I will forever love @chararii for this brilliant piece of a fic

#3: The Endgame that never was series by @heleneplays aka me (tumblr masterlist) || ok I know this seems self-absorbed but DEAR MOTHER OF CHRISTIE i literally WENT OFF for a whole ass day and a half going feral for the Relics of the Lost Age series book 3 finale (hi @jamesshawgames pls know im still here and STILL simping even tho i am currently having a brainrot for a different thing on main sjdhdkdk i hope ur doing well dearest mr. chief author sir!!!!) and created this series from my dreams + nonstop ben&ben playlist— and honestly, I think it's VERY sexy of me <3 bc I rarely like things that I do after a while, but THIS— alongside Universal Constant (ao3) are truly my BEST work <3

#2: Across the Stars by nomisunrider (ao3) || I CAN NEVER STRESS THIS ENOUGH, HOW MUCH THIS FIC ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY LIKE. its been 4 YEARS since it was completed but HOLY. MOTHERFUCKING. GOD. The story between Michael & Philippa persisting beyond the odds, in a twist of the canon happenings in Star Trek: Discovery is FOREVER ingrained in my heart and soul and honestly once again THANK YOU @nomi--sunrider for SUCH a beautiful story 🥺🥺🥺

and drum roll please!!!

#1 (current): I literally cannot pick between Better than Gold + Little Cat by @lady-dimimi / @azu-zu (tumblr post for BtG | LC ao3); How to woo a Hot Principal by @softshrimpy (ao3); and Lipstick Stains by @weemssapphic (ao3) || LIKE HOLY SHIT THE FUCKING AMOUNT OF TALENT, PLOT, FLUFF, DRAMA AND UTTER GAYNESS THESE FICS BRING ME— its SOOOOO insanity inducing in the best of ways <3 also, i really count myself lucky to get into a very active (x reader) sphere LIKE ITS SOOOOO INSANE i get to consume CONTENT daily for such wonderful characters and these special morsels be like. authors, I am sending you all a MWAH from me

[agentmmayy]

march + april rotation

it’s gonna be...... may finally posting the march + april rotation playlist. combining these two months since most of the music i listened to in march was off the previous rotation list!

flowers in my hair - calista garcia: sweet, slow, and syrupy. i love this song and how it feels like a breath of fresh air. it’s achingly romantic and has got me singing along and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. though, at the same time it’s so intimate i feel like i’m intruding 

back for more - nia hendricks: the usual type of slow groove beat i adore that makes me want to dance around with the love of my life. it’s just as sweet as the previous one but it feels... lonely. mournful. i’d be dancing but with a ghost

bodybag - charlotte lawrence: this song is so *clenches fist* i am obsessed with how the body bag fills in for the other person in the relationship and holds her when they can’t or refuse to! the relationship is already dead! she’s holding on! in that liminal space between resurrection and burial! also the vocals in this are insane. my favorite part is ‘she’s at the bowery bar, showed you her paper heart’ and then ‘help me hurt and then i’ll come back’ YEOW

gasp of air - lisa curtis: THIS SONG MAKES ME WANT TO SING AND SCREAM ALONG AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!!!!!!!! and then the lyrics slapped me across the face. ‘but i’ll stay and such ‘cause i think it’s love enough’ ‘i’m yours enough that i come back’ ‘some water if i’m lucky but i would never ask that much’ ‘what kind of person needs to breathe A HEALTHY ONE I’M SURE BUT THAT’S NOT ME’?????????? 

nothing left to give - BAILEN: ‘i wanna live i’m sick of just trying to survive’ *looks into the camera* anyway. obsessed with this band and how weird this song sounds 

kilimanjaro - dolores forever: this song and the next have me asking how songs can be this good. like. is it crack? is that what they put in these?? the music and the vocals are EVERYTHING it’s unlike anything i’ve heard recently and i’m digging it. then the harmonies?? and the lyrics???? ‘a thousand shards of glass from your silver tongue got me like a shot gun’ the way ‘i was young. you were pure ice and snow’ IS SUNG?????? WTF

labour - paris paloma: this has been my hype song for the past few weeks. the intensity of it still continues to blow my mind. it’s unapologetic and awful. it’s incredible. i felt every lyric in my gut. i don’t want to over explain it since i can’t do the song justice but it’s so brutally honest in describing and dismantling traditional roles placed upon women and girls. the entirety of it is like poking at a wound that never closes, a wound that’s been gaping and bleeding for centuries and it makes me so angry. the visceral reaction i had to the lyric ‘if we had a daughter’ girl i- ouuuuugh. i got sick to my stomach. i was screaming crying throwing up etc etc. anyway this song is a masterpiece. still haven’t recovered from it. also it’s a fucking bop. 

bad blood - trousdale: another banger for the books!! trousdale always delivers these perfect harmonies and this time it’s a fantastic, bitter song but that’s not the only element! there’s indifference and confusion and acceptance! there’s healing! and the repetition of anyway *patcha holding earbuds meme* perfection

all the love - katie gregson-macleod: katie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions!!!!!!!! this one is SO SAD. i ache each time i listen to it. it doesn’t apply to romantic love but all other types of love and what happens when you lose it and how you deal with that loss. the grief is so thick it’s almost suffocating but as always the way she sings is enough for it to not be overwhelming. every lyric hits but the combination of her voice with ‘but i’d rather do that in bed alone’ is my favorite  

BONUS: here are a few stray songs that didn’t quite fit in the narrative but i wanted to share them anyway :)

far and wide - WILDES: doesn’t quite fit the narrative, but it’s a good follow up to all the love. it’s toned down more and easier to get lost in, but still woven with the running strand of grief that makes it sorrowful. once again, back at it with the yearning 

ava - famy: this song had me by the throat the first time i heard it in teen wolf and it still does. chewing glass over the switch between ‘this world is primal’ + ‘this world is rabid’ to ‘this world is pure’ + ‘this world is learning’  and ‘my conscious burning, my beastly flaw’ 

[toyzoneofficial]

ohhhh okay thoughts on npmd (warning for spoilers ofc!) (also warning for like. anti max/grace if that is something that upsets you)

-i couldn't see and hear everything super well on the digital ticket so there's probably a lotta stuff i missed and i definitely wanna see if there's more stuff i can find when the youtube version releases...

-ohhh pete and steph were really sweet <3 they were always sweet but not like hugely standout characters to me previously? i like them though. they're very cute together. their relationship felt like it moved really fast but idk. maybe that's how highschool dating works.

-grace was a HIGHLIGHT. god i love her she is sooooo messed up and SO entertaining. her scene with the cops was maybe my favorite scene in the whole thing (either that or the lords in black scene. or maybe max getting scared in the whalen house). still mourning what could have been with lesbian!grace though. i literally have a whole unpublished fic about her gay repression that will never see the light of day now. i have to believe she's still a girl liker in some sense but it will take forever for her to even begin to unpack any of that.

-max i am like...conflicted on. sort of. he was a REALLY fun character who had some really good lines and was very entertaining as a villain but i can just tell people are already tipping the line into woobifying him. guys he's really fucking bad. i mean his scene in the whalen house was kind of cute but his initial interaction with grace was literally sexual harassment. if she wasn't into it and he was portrayed as less charismatic people would be completely up in arms about that.

-maybe i'm just biased because "popular jock boy could have any girl he wants but is into the weird nerd girl because she doesn't want him and he likes the hunt" is one of my least favorite tropes in the whole world. like i don't think there is any story in the fucking world that could make that interesting to me. there are ways you could have done their dynamic that would actually interest me but straightforwardly shipping them is NOT it. major squick for me. i'm not going to go so far as to say that nobody should be shipping it but i don't want to see it lol

-i am ALSO biased because whenever a female character shows traits comparable to a traditional "mean girl" fandom shits all over her forever no matter how bad the actual stuff she did is and make up bullshit excuses for it. but when there's a guy character like that people just adore him without fail. this isn't a hatchetfield fandom specific thing though it's just general fandom misogyny and i am a Hashtag Mean Girl Defender

-dirty girl was a banger though.

-ruth was another highlight!! i mean we didn't get grace with a yearny crush on steph like i was hoping but we got a girl with a yearny crush on steph so that is still pretty good. she was such a sweetheart i think her death scene was i think one of the saddest for me personally in literally any hatchetfield property.

-richie was okay but he's on thin ice because of the attack‏‏‎ ‎on‏‏‎ ‎titan‏‏‎ ‎comment. BOOOOOO. WATCH BETTER ANIME.

-the lords in black scene made me CRAZY!!!! i love how insane the audience got too i think it made me even more hyped. so so so so awesome i loved their outfits i loved the dialogue i loved their creepy ass song i loved literally everything about it

-um. yeah. all i can think of for now. even if it wasn't a perfect show to me (black friday is still number one in my heart) i had a really really good time with it and i'm excited to see the fan content people will make!!

[suzakushimon]

Thoughts on Jing Liu quest?

AHAHAHAHA (negative connotation)

u came to the right person anon, i have a lot to say...

IT WASNT THAT GREAT..... at first i spent a whole night convincing myself it was a reasonable way for the story to go but they did dan heng WAY too dirty. idk why luofu writing is so SHIT but if the current scandal is true and an employee rly has been messing w the story just to mess w the female fans, it explains a lot 💀

there were parts i liked: the art + the fight scene was a banger + how jingliu points out dan heng fights exactly like dan feng. it emphasizes how, whether he likes it or not, there are some things dh has inherited from df and he cant escape that. his appearance, his spear, his bracer, the ribbon, his vidyadhara powers, etc etc... if it wasnt for df, dh wouldnt be who he is today-- thats the truth, and its something dh can grow to accept.

but holy FUCK. the way they handled everything else. dan heng's memories. jingliu's introduction and her motives. blade's characterization. THE PLOTHOLES. just....ITS KINDA ALL WRONG!!!!!

IN MY OPINION. dan heng's whole POINT is that he doesnt remember his past life/his "past". he considers those memories as "not his", and asserts himself as his own individual person without them. its IMPORTANT he doesnt remember anything + that he doesnt NEED to bc this way he contrasts march 7th and the trailblazer, who also dont have their past memories-- but those 2 WANT to remember, are actively trying to, and they DO consider their past memories/past life as part of "themselves". whereas dan heng runs from his past and tries to find his "true self" without it, march and trailblazer run towards theirs, trying to catch glimpses of their "true selves" through it.

SO THERE'S LITERALLY NO REASON HE HAS TO REMEMBER DAN FENG'S PAST. it completely messes up his character arc/the message his character is trying to send!! they backpedaled so hard on their stance towards dan heng... first it was "only u can determine who u are, no one else; the expectations others hold for u dont matter" and now its "u are him no matter what u do, these sins are yours". like WHAT???? jingliu's quest just made more people equate dan heng with dan feng when the story is SUPPOSED to emphasize that they r DIFFERENT PEOPLE💀💀💀💀

dan heng did decide to face dan feng's sins, but he's NOT a part of the quintet. he's a WHOLE NEW PERSON. so why was he invited as a part of the quintet, but bailu wasn't?? its like theyre saying bailu is a whole new person, but dan heng is still dan feng, WHICH GOES AGAINST HIS CHARACTER THEMES(i am silenced and forced to sit down) anyways imo if bailu didn't have to attend the worlds worst high school reunion, dan heng shouldn't have had to attend either!!!! THIS AINT HIS PROBLEM. DAN HENG GET BEHIND ME!!!!!!!!!

his convo with blade at the end was so ooc it killed me. like, a little walk with his past life's old friend, and suddenly he's willing to forgive blade's literal years of stalking and attacking him??? now hes willing to play along with the vengeance he spent his whole life insisting was directed at the wrong person???????? i only chose that option bc the one on top sounded so wimpy/out of place it also felt ooc to me 💀 he wouldnt show weakness to blade, but there's no way he'd be that accepting either. maybe 3 years later and x patches in, but not NOW...

and jingliu. ooooh girlie. JINGLIU. THEY DID HER SOOOO FUCKING DIRTY. she's a new character. casuals/people who dont dig through lore don't know anything abt her except that shes jingyuans teacher. so why is her INTRODUCTION a fucking CONCLUSION TO HER CHARACTER ARC???? shes already DONE wandering and finding an answer in her heart. shes already DONE deciding whether or not to keep running or face her past. now shes mourning for a PERSON WE DONT EVEN KNOW. we watch her get closure for her dead girlfriend. BUT SO WHAT??? WE DONT EVEN KNOW EITHER OF THEM!!! SEEING HER GET CLOSURE MEANS NOTHING TO US. ITS JUST AWKWARD. why was her INTRO her fucking CHARACTER ARC'S CONCLUSION!!!!!!! they should've made her quest like luocha's, where all we did was speculate and her real motives remained a mystery. then we couldve been spared from this shitfest!!!!

the difference in quality between belobog story and luofu story is insane!!!! like, just compare luka's quest to jinglius....hello??? its crazy how unsympathetic they made her. it was literally "tell not show" instead of "show not tell".

anyways im just upset at dan heng's treatment. like, this character has a clear message/direction they were going for, but jinglius quest kind of stomps all over it, and her quest was supposed to introduce her but her introduction flopped hard. she was so much cooler when we saw her during yanqings quest and she was half insane. its awkward to mourn for someone we dont even know and its awkward to watch someone we dont know mourn. and, ngl, it rly felt like they only added dan heng in there bc they want more ppl to care abt the quintet. that whole quest couldve been through jingliu's pov where the reunion only happened between blade, jingliu, and jingyuan, so why wasn't it??? as opposed to those three, dan heng already moved on from the past. it was awkward for dan heng and for the audience💀

tldr i had high expectations bc i thought hoyo cared abt the quintet but not only did it flop it also dragged dan heng's characterization through the mud

[talenlee]

A Software Pirate Looks at 40

A Software Pirate Looks at 40

There’s this song.

A Pirate Looks At Forty

Watch this video on YouTube

This song, from 1975, was written by Jimmy Buffet, born in 1946. My whole life as much as I’ve remembered it, this song has had a deep reverence, a mournful seriousness to it. It got to be on the regular rotation in the car’s road-trip songs, despite it having that swear in it, and the references to drugs (that I did not understand, of course). We would sing along with the Jimmy Buffett tapes in the car, but when this song came on, we wouldn’t sing along, we’d just listen. There was something about it. There was something heavy to the words, something I didn’t quite understand.

When I hit my teenage years and started trying to make sense of everything, listening to the lyrics and reading the liner notes and trying to put every song into this like, structured and meaningful coherent whole where all the fictions that stories told were in fact part of some greater truth, I thought it was about Jimmy Buffett himself turning forty, and that crystallised something – it made sense. This was the anthem my father saw, sharing with Jimmy Buffett, when they were both facing turning 40, and that was when the song was made.

Jimmy Buffet was not forty when he wrote the song. He wasn’t even 30. He wasn’t forty until 1986, a year in which I was three. My father was 38, and two years later, he was 40. My dad has been on the far side of 40 most of my life. I never really saw someone facing turning 40 until members of my peer group did it. And, thing is… they’ve mostly been fine about it. Nobody I know has been making a point of their anxieties at getting older. There hasn’t been this anguished cry of ‘oh no I’m old,’ in fact most of my peer and friend group has been looking at their life getting through their 30s and shouting defiantly at the world thank god that’s done with.

Nobody I know makes being 40 bad. Most of them make it something great. I love you all, especially those of you repeating to our youngers: Don’t feel you wasted your 20s. You’re allowed to take your time working yourself out.

The Last Saskatchewan Pirate by Captain Tractor

Watch this video on YouTube

Maybe growing up with role models who were pirates was part of the place the rot started. My family after all were good upstanding Christians but I somehow grew up seeing laws as things to be gently circumvented where necessary and eventually entirely meaningless when they were never fairly deployed. I know that this song, The Last Saskatchewan Pirate, got me into a weird head space in my teen years of wanting to know about Canada and Canadian culture, a door that, once opened, I think, is where I met a lot of my best friends.

I remember this song being so… appealing to me, because of its oddness and silliness while still being a banger to sing. It wasn’t even an actual Captain Tractor song, though they wound up helping form that period of my teens into twenties, a sort of interesting bet-you’ve-never-heard-of-them musical icebreaker. Like a weaponised ship part. I have memories, in the time just after graduating from school, standing in the front yard of my parents’ house, spooling up a hose while singing this song to myself, and by myself, I mean the whole street.

I really wasn’t good at being a person.

But thing is, I got this song from mp3 dot com, which was like Kazaa and Limewire and Napster, but it didn’t go down. It was just bands asking you to take their songs. How cool was that? I couldn’t see how it would make money. The fact I wound up buying both of their albums at some point later, well, that may have played into it.

[Bulldog Mansion] (2002) Funk 15. Happy Birthday To Me

Watch this video on YouTube

I started a ritual of listening to this song after I heard it, first in the There She Is!! series of videos. I downloaded it from a bootleg site because I couldn’t even find the name of the band that made it, what with it being in all squidgy letters I didn’t know. Now it’s on Youtube. Now it’s easy to find.

I have files on my computer that are snippets of anime episodes from 30 years ago, that have managed to successfully cling to my digital presence this entire time, since I very first got onto the internet. I can namedrop people like Mike Rhea and Megazone and Richard Pelley and Anand Chelian and Blade and Epsilon and gilmae and µ and Guardian and there’s a time anchored to those things, things that the right people might head-snap around and go oh holy shit, I remember that… but not many people do.

Deep, old magics from a time when the internet was smaller, and where so much of what I was doing, I was doing for free, shared by people for the sake of sharing it, for the novelty of it. I learned to do Photoshop work on a pirated copy of Photoshop, and moved to GIMP when my partner wanted to, because she hated Photoshop (and I didn’t have a copy any more). I’ve been using GIMP for something like twenty years. It was free. A free version of something I’d have had to pirate that’s about as good, as the thing you have to pay for gets worse.

You can’t beat the pirates. Free is a hell of a price point. For a little more than free, I’d expect to get good, as well. You can’t even make a moral case any more. I’m technically pirating a copy of Word, because the version I paid for doesn’t do what I want, and I can’t buy the version I want to use any more because it’s too old. When I can’t even buy the thing you tell me you sell, because of where I live or your controls or price point incentives, all those things tell me the only correct course of action is to steal. And to steal from the people who have so much, and where the stealing cannot hurt people who matter.

How to be a Pirate Captain! 🌈 ☠️ 🌈

Watch this video on YouTube

As this post goes up, I have just turned forty.

I feel sad.

I do not feel old. That is part of it. I feel like at forty my dad had been a priest and a traveller and in the military and a chef and had lived a childhood of hijinks with his twin brother and his famous dad. I feel like I have spent the past two weeks learning how to finally, properly, do the dishes, and that I am still responding to a world around me that is here to punish me for not being good enough.

I feel a little bit hollow and a little bit wasted.

But I can at least delight in knowing that gleeful, joyous, shameless piracy is not a thing behind me.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#Diary #BoatsToBuild

[ennabear]

i’ll say rn this is 100% gonna be the longest reblog i’ve ever reblogged so leave rn if you don’t wanna read… don’t get me wrong i love my bae ellie but please i love this even more… my rayray coming at us with another banger!!! tumtum is not prepared i’m afraid.

fun fact they actually hired a squadron of cyber troops to reinforce the site for a few days because they KNEW this was gonna be internet breaking. earth shattering. boner giving. HEY WHO SAID THAT???!??! WHATTT THAT’S CRAZY!!!!

anyways… here are my thoughts hehehehe, i will acknowledge that i yapped a lot but i am NOT sorry. in fact i’d write a whole book on why rayray is the best writer… you’re LUCKY i’m keeping this somewhat short.

Any success is so trivial if she has no one to celebrate it with, not without you.

From the very start, you've been right there by her side. From the very beginning, it wasn't as picture-perfect as she imagined. The fairytale began with what she thought would be a never-ending love story.

Something so pure, it could never turn rotten.

ok for starters, absolutely loveeeeee love love love loveee the way you wrote ellie in this one. how she’s not fully toxic, but has a few traits that make her unbearable. and the sticky feeling of loving her anyways, because you’ve known her for so long, it’s all you do know. and then having to deal with the grief of losing a relationship like that, the way it tears you apart and has you questioning who’s fault it really is. yeah, sure, you could’ve stayed, and maybe you could’ve worked it out. but what if you stayed and things got worse? if you stayed and started to resent her more, driving a wedge in between the two of you and mourning the loss of the ellie you used to know?

"One day, going to be just like him, but better. My old man got too old before he decided to be good. I'm going to be the best player ever."

"I bet you will be." your eyes find hers, the sun making them shine like an emerald diamond, just like the one your mom wears on her ring finger.

"My coach says I'm good already but tells me not to get my hopes up."

BABY ELLIE BABY ELLIE BABY ELLIE!!!! so cute i love her so much ughhhh. this dynamic is always one of my favs, but i love the twist you put on it. instead of it being the two of them forever, ellie makes some… poor choices and tears their relationship apart. so sad but so beautiful ugh. i can’t tell which part of me was the most wet while reading this, my eyes or my pussy. (definitely the latter…)

Slowly, she takes your figure in, examining you up and down before smirking. She says nothing to you as she orders a neat whiskey. She hands her silver credit card to the bartender,

"and whatever she wants for the rest of the night."

You think for a moment she'll talk to you, but she winks before settling into a booth with four others who look oddly familiar.

The rest of the night, you're met with tranquility and the steady and skilled bump of the bass guitar. It reminded me of when you were young, ambitions were the only thing on your mind, and you were lost in the never-ending need to be someone. It's when you still believe something is worth living for, more than beating your drum to someone else's tune.

You sipped on three Mexican martinis throughout the night and got lost when you walked up to the bar. The beefy, muscular blonde was there to greet you. This time, you got a clear look at her. Her rugged and toned frame shows off her commitment to the gym.

just squirted everywhere and it soaked my car seat… oh nooo guess i’ll need a new car…. if only i had a rich muscular blonde to buy me one……. 🤣🤣😂😂😅😅😭😭😢😭😭😭😭 PPLEASSEEEEEE ABBY i’m creaming i’m creamingggg oh her strap help i can’t stop bouncing on itttttt nooooo i’m wet i’m wet i’m wet i’m wettttttttt abby abby abby i need youuuuuuu 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 nghhhh i need her

This time you are drooling; her thumb wipes away the liquid before she sucks it back into her mouth. Her grin is even more wicked, knowing she has you right where she wants to be.

It's when you notice the mirrored scorpions, one on either side, her muscular biceps littered with tattoos, and the front of her neck - practically having fuck me written all over her.

You should leave.

You fucking should.

my favorite scene of all time actually… so so so so so honored to have read a preview of dis TEEHEEEEE OH GOD I NEED HER SO BADDDDDD don’t leave don’t leave don’t leave!!!!! her tattoos yeah it’s over. i’ve been killed. rip ennabear. i’m actually drooling so hard i’ve started a flash flood… and i’m drowning in it… and i need mouth to mouth cpr from drummer abby……… i’m so sorry btw… i really don’t know who’s writing all of these horny words…

It's there. The smidge of penance you feel you're obligated to ask for. Regardless of how amazing it feels, there's something about the ending. This will be the end of all fuck ups; maybe, there's still hope for the two of you if you go home. Call Ellie in the morning before the need to suppress the shame.

But don't you deserve this one thing for yourself?

Everything under the sun has been for the auburn-haired beauty who has held your heart from the moment she patched up your bleeding knee. The moment a total stranger managed to win your heart, an adolescent love that knew nothing of the lesson of heartbreak or the years you chased after Ellie while she was chasing others.

ooooh this feeling is so tricky… but obviously i don’t forgive her, especially when this sexy ass blonde is fucking me in the bar HELLOOOOOOO sorry for the notes the last few paragraphs but i can’t even see straight i’m so in love with this…

"Fuck, they are perfect." You confess, your eyes gleaming at her pink nipples exposed before meeting with her eyes once again.

"Yeah, they are, but they would look even better with your pretty lips around them."

😳😳😳😳🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍💦💦💦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🫦🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 i need her i need her i need her i need her i need her please abigail let me suck your soul out of your nipples PLEASEEEEUHHHH

"You can still walk out that door. Just say the word and my driver will take you home." Abby whispers into the busy street beneath you, it's so faint from the distance but the two of you can hear it. "Or you can let me slide your pretty little skirt up and let me make a slut of you, babygirl."

Maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's your throbbing clit, maybe it's the lack of contact in months, most of all maybe it's the fact Ellie took so long to reach out, but you give in. Throwing your arms around her neck, pulling her lips to yours, regardless of the possible consequence looming after you, threatening to tear apart the picture perfect life you thought you're living.

she’s rich she’s sexy she’s confident she has piercings she smells good she’s buff she has good taste yeah i’m on my knees… on one knee… kneeling before her with a small velvet box… asking her to marry me… the way i’d never leave… like as soon as she opens the door to her apartment i’m cementing myself into her bed and not even god’s strongest men could tear me away from her… also ellie taking that long to reach out is pissing me off!! oh so i hate this bitch and she hates me too?? GET OUT OF HEREEEEEE

"Oh..." Abby grins at your desperate moans, "You really do know how to be a good girl and take it." Her name falls from your lips like a stuttering prayer, as if she's the god you're praising at the altar. With each thrust, Abby back more of her strength into, packing a powerful punch to your cunt. Pulling at the strings, already making you see stars as you take from the angle.

When you start bouncing on her cock, Abby loses all coherent thought. Your not so subtle bounce of your tits, she loves them so much she cranes her neck to suck on your nipples, her tongue piercing adding a new sensation, unable to stop your pussy from gushing around her.

i… really… do… know… how… to… be… a.. good… girl… and… take… it… 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 TONGUE PIERCING TONGUE PIERCING TOMGUE PIERCING!!!! horny alert horny alert horny alert LOCK IT DOWN!!!!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!!!!! 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

"You said you would tell her." The frustration written all over Abby's face, her voice only raising an octave higher. Abby has never been so disgusted with herself, stopping so low, thinking she would get chosen over the long term girlfriend.

Stupid.

"I know what I said. I'm telling you, I can't." Ellie pinches the bridge of her button nose, trying to concentrate as Abby makes no move to do anything else but continue to fuck Ellie's cunt.

"Oh no?" Abby slips a third finger in her pussy as she shoves her face between her slender thighs. "You don't wanna tell her why you won't fuck her anymore? All the light night calls with your manager are flights to come to my penthouse and get your pussy fucked out?"

Her tongue dips into Ellie's pussy, she flattens her pierced tongue, the cool golden ball adding stimulation to the weeping woman's clit, her body jerking at the action. "She's too fucking good for you." The speed of the bigger girl's fingers send Ellie into godspeed, flirting with another dimension as she allows Abby to play tricks on her pussy.

The reason she comes back, no one makes her cum like she does, not even you. Abby wants more but Ellie refuses to give it, not willing to leave you even if you know what she's been doing, all the lies she's told in order to fuck Abby, you'd never look her way again. "She can't do this though? It's why you keep coming back, you need my fingers stuffed in your pussy?" Abby's fingers are reaching so deep, kissing Ellie's cervix as she grips onto her wrist, bucking her hips up into the rockstar's fingers.

plot. twist. of. the. fucking. century. i hate ellie so much but also i can’t really blame her, if abby fucked me like that i’d wanna come back every night too LMAO. but obviously… i would NOT lie to my sweet girlfriend(s???) like a fucking loserrrrrr!!!

"Maybe I should give them to her instead. I'm sure she would be more grateful." Abby spits sloppily on Ellie's pussy, kitten licking her clit until she sucks it in her mouth, tongue rapidly flicking over her bundle of nerves. Abby tsks, "Selfish slut, cum on daddy's tongue like you fucking mean it."

again, this foreshadowing is crazy… raybear try not to be the best writer on this app challenge FAILED AS ALWAYS!!!! BIG FAT F WRITTEN IN RED!!!!!!! i’m actually creaming my pants just reading this holy shit…. drummer abby i need you. every single bone in my body is twitching right now….. the dykes are yearning for this absolute sex monster……..

PLEASE JUST ONE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!! 🙏 also her piercings and tattoos yeah i’m squirting… like i said a while ago with tennis abby (which i read daily if you’d like to know…) the way you write so descriptively is just. UGH. PERFECT BUT BETTER!!!! like please can someone QUICKLY come up with a word that means perfect in every way and so good that it makes you cry… i feel like perfect isn’t deep enough to describe how i’m feeling. like this is changing me on a spiritual level. this is a summit in my life and now i’ll be permanently attached to this fic every single second i live until the day my skin grows pale and my bones can’t hold my weight and my soul gets taken with the wind… now i’m crying help raybaby i love u so much please never die your fics give me life i swear…

She exhales a puff of smoke, her sun kissed skin reflecting off the moonlight, every defined line of muscle making her even more beautiful. "But why? Did you suddenly grow a conscience?"

"No but I'm not interested in being someone's side piece. I'm the main fucking show." Abby shrugs her shoulders matter of factly, "Show yourself out, Williams."

oh i hate her. HEY, ELLIE, LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU WANNA GROW TF UP AND TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU!!!! i guess you could say she’s… rotten…. she’s a bad apple….. heh, get it???

The memory flashes before Abby's eyes, she's sure it's crossing Ellie's mind, her worst nightmare playing in front of her. Her girlfriend, screaming her mistress's name, as she clings onto Abby like a second life line. The look of horror in her emerald eyes, she would know your body everywhere, it's you.

SWEET, SWEET REVENGE!!!! KARMA IS REAL AND SHES A MEAN MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!! i kinda feel bad for her though like tbh if i lost my sweet girlfriend AND my sexy side piece AND found them hooking up ohhhh i’d be devastated. like. jumping off the nearest bridge devastated.

Unbeknownst to you, the rotten apple lays beneath you, the same E chain hidden beneath the countless chains adorning her neck but sometimes they can taste just as divine as the sweet one. Sour or sweet? That's for you to decide.

Bloody, intentional, reckless - Abby Anderson has brought it all.

Showing Ellie just how sweet something rotten could really be if preserved for someone else.

this is crazy… ellie screwing them BOTH over???? another insane plot twist. insane writing. rayray you’re insane and i love u so much it makes me dizzy. i’m actually implementing this into my morning routine so if any of y’all catch me reading this every day… ignore it… or join me, heh….. i’m actually ur biggest fan EVER and i’d gladly fight to the death for that #1 spot. hunger games but the winner gets to be rayray’s biggest fan?? oh i’m in. and i’m winning. I KNOW THATS RIGHT!!! i swear my heart beats in morse code that spells out r-a-y-r-a-y. i seriously don’t know where i’d be without you like. i would’ve left tumblr such a long time ago if you didn’t keep this fandom alive with your own two hands. there are actual tears falling onto my phone rn LMAOO i’m sorry for being this sappy but i’m forever grateful to get to exist at the same time as you and interact this closely. also the way i’ve been your biggest fan ever since i joined tumblr is crazyyy. i remember downloading the app just to read fics, before i decided to start writing, and the very first thing i read under the abby tag was older!reader x younger!abby and i fell in LOVE with it. like please i owe you my whole life and more….. i. love. you. so. much. and i’m going to sleep now before i embarrass myself even more than i already have BSBDHABEBDSNS SORRY!!!!!!! (but not really) xoxoxoxox your biggest fan!!!!!!! mwah :3

≛ THE APPLE'S ROTTEN STRAIGHT TO THE CORE!

❝ ABBY!CENTRIC ONE SHOT ❞

♪ ˚. THE BRAT CHALLENGE ♱ ⋆.˚

feat. drummer!abby x fem!reader x footballplayer!ellie

warnings. eighteen+, nsfw content: switch!abby (kinda), jealousy, cheating, abby’s pierced nipples, reader desc. feminine, fingering, munch activities, toxicity ensuing, voyerisum, strap sex.

THE APPLE'S ROTTEN STRAIGHT TO THE CORE, ellie williams, sporting 88’ on the back of her jersey, the world renowned football player from the united states. the overly competitive blood runs through her veins, passed down from her father, just as well as an overpowering ego the size of texas. she has the girl of her dreams, the most important game of her life in sight, but what happens when one drummer threatens to wreck it all?

wc. 10k

It’s easy to feel safe and comfortable with her, slipping into a simple life. Traveling the world with your favorite soccer player, the auburn-haired five-foot-five of pure talent, as soon as her custom cleats step foot on the field. 

When the crowd echoes chants of her name, the rumbling of the rowdy fans, aggressive shouts cursing the other team. With crushed beer cans, sunflower seeds are spat on the ground, and they are begging for a goal. The 88’ jersey was littered across the stands. Every fan in the arena went to see her, yet you aren’t here. 

It was one of the biggest games of her career, and you would not be seen anywhere, especially after the past week. She doesn’t blame you; Ellie could only blame herself but needs her good luck charm. The events replaying in her mind, haunting her while she tries to get one wink of sleep, but the look of horror in your eyes, the shoulder check you left her with, green eyes pleading to reason with her, but you refused. 

Let me know when you want to grow the fuck up and tell me what’s wrong with you. 

The words running in her mind, haunting her as she sleeps at night, wondering if today is the day the stone will be unturned or if she’ll actually tell you everything bothering her. But she doesn’t. Never had she seen you like it; rage carries higher than the waves of a tsunami, and all of it, every drop of water, seems to be crashing over her. 

Every drop of it suffocates her until there is no oxygen left to breathe. 

When she gets home, she scours the apartment for a trace of you, yet half of your belongings are absent. Ellie starts to wonder if she’s pushed you too far this time. Always, she’s betted on you sticking around through thick and thin but maybe you finally had enough. 

Has she pushed you too far? Are you too far out of reach? She has no choice but to let you drown with the devil itself, succumbing to your own needs for once, not hers. 

The side of the closet holding your belongings was in disarray. Ellie could see that your favorite belongings were absent. All the sweaters, hoodies, hell, even the flannels you would steal from her were meticulously folded and placed in the corner. 

Ellie thought you would give her the benefit of the doubt. She thought you would let her explain why she had taken the job offer without consoling you. Now, considering what she seems to be losing, there’s nothing she wishes for more than to take it all back. 

Any success is so trivial if she has no one to celebrate it with, not without you. 

From the very start, you’ve been right there by her side. From the very beginning, it wasn’t as picture-perfect as she imagined. The fairytale began with what she thought would be a never-ending love story. 

Something so pure, it could never turn rotten. 

—

Growing up on the outskirts of New York had its perks. The small town was busy, yet the countryside tucked an hour away gave you a sense of solitude. Entirely predictable suburbs, the cul-de-sac tucked in the back of the neighborhood reeks of disturbed suburbia. 

Everyone knew everyone, and you knew Ellie. 

You were ten the day the two of you became friends, and you’ll never forget it. Clumsily, you had just fallen off your bike, knees skidding by the concrete as the skin had been peeled, the wound viciously open. 

“Did you fall—” the girl shakes her head at herself, curses flying into the wind. “Of course you did. God, so stupid.” 

She continues talking to herself as you weep slightly in a pathetic manner. Affectionately, the mysterious girl who also happens to be riding her bike past the park in your neighborhood pats you gently on the shoulder. 

“I'll be right back. Stay there. I'll be back. Promise.” 

She disappears on her blue and red bike, red hair flying in any direction the wind takes, but returns just like she said — a girl of her word. 

“Here, let me fix you.” She grabs the first-aid kid from the bucket on her bike. Ellie kneels on the ground. You notice her bright blue Converse with red laces, which match her bicycle perfectly. 

“Yeah, okay—” you sniffle, wiping away your tears as the nice girl tends to your knee. “Thanks.”

She grabs the needed tools, “Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing. Well, I used to fix my dad all the time. He's a soccer player and gets hurt a lot. 

You stay silent as she rambles on. 

“One day, going to be just like him, but better. My old man got too old before he decided to be good. I'm going to be the best player ever.” 

“I bet you will be.” your eyes find hers, the sun making them shine like an emerald diamond, just like the one your mom wears on her ring finger. 

“My coach says I'm good already but tells me not to get my hopes up.” 

You realize Ellie has already cleaned your wound; her small hand applies pressure with the gauze as he wraps it away. She's so concentrated but simultaneously rambles away about her dad, the last soccer game she played in, and jokes to get your mind off the pain. 

“How does it feel?” Ellie asks, the corner of her lip upturns, a soft smile gracing her freckled, full cheeks. 

“Better,” you thank her, smiling shyly. She observes you as you hop back on your bike, ensuring you aren't in pain. Curiously, her mind drifts to how cute you are, and she wonders why her stomach is in complete knots. 

She confuses it for sickness. 

“You’re welcome.” Ellie stretches the nape of her neck, and her short hair sticks to her skin from the heat. “I'm Ellie, by the way.” 

“I know.” You offer your name as Ellie blushes, her cheeks tinted pink. The love you feel is etched right into her heart, and she feels it from the first moment your name is said. 

In a cliche, obvious way, the rest was history. 

The two of you were best friends until college, bringing out the best in you—platonic love blossoming into something sweet, a one-in-a-million love you can only hope to find in someone else. 

The tricky thing? It works. The two of you fit better than you could have ever dreamed of. The incredible bliss of youth leaves your faith blinded, corrupted by the true love you have for Ellie. Oblivious to flaws, all you see is her. Assuring you follow her around like a lost puppy; anything she wants, she gets. The skeletons in the closet are no match for the two of you, each being dragged out one by one. 

But not by either of you. 

— 

One Week earlier…

“Would you stop so we can talk about this?” Ellie nearly shouts at you, granting her another eye roll, she’s lost count on how many you’ve thrown at her since the two of you left the club. The longing looks, her wandering olive eyes on someone else all night, gawking at the muscles, making you feel envious of someone you couldn’t have. 

Your girlfriend’s attention. 

But this is all your fault, right? 

“Talk about what? How you, Ellie, made a decision to make a life altering decision without me? Yeah, okay, let’s fucking talk.” You have a bite in your voice, one Ellie has rarely heard, the sweetness diluted with her consistent need to keep you in the dark. “Fucking talk, please. I’d love to hear the bullshit excuse you’re gonna give me.” 

“Why are you making this a big deal? It’s my career, not yours.” You bite your tongue as the words leave your mouth. Instantly, you feel burned by the person who thought loved you more than anything. Even in the heat of the moment, you figured she would give you the benefit of the doubt, even when you’ve been blind sided by her teammates. All because she was too much of a coward to tell what she’s already done. “Right. Foolish of me to think we’re a team.” 

Spitefully, you throw your belongings in your tote, ignoring when she tries to grab your wrist, dodging her quickly. She tries again but stops when you tell her to. The only boundary she leaves untouched it seems. 

“We are a team.” Ellie tries to convince you, but you don’t budge. Not an inch of you believes the shit she’s spewing at you. 

“Oh! Well, that’s a surprise to me. If we’re such a team, why don’t you tell me why you won’t have sex with me….for eight months?” You raise your eyebrows at her, giving her an opportunity to speak but she stays silent like she always does. “If we’re such a team, why did you accept a job offer on another continent without even giving me the respect to tell me about it before you accepted the offer?” 

Ellie stays silent, finding the hardwood beneath her feet more interesting. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” 

You change into something more comfortable, slamming the bathroom door shut as you do, gathering other toiletries, different necessities you would need for the next few weeks. 

You find her sitting on the edge of the bed in tears, as much as you want to hug her and give her the comfort she probably needs, there’s no good will in your heart. As much as you love her, only the boiling anger can be found. Blistering frustration, the one someone has when their girlfriend won’t touch them, kiss them, or even warrant them the truth. 

“I love you, okay? I just need to figure some things out.” Ellie pouts, eyebrows furrowed as she says enough to get you to look at her. She sees the tears threatening to spill over, but you won’t let them fall in front of her. Never have you liked crying in front of others. Just as if she was anyone else, you would wait until you were in private to lick your wounds. “I just need some time, I just don’t know what’s happening to me.” 

But all sincerity is lost, all you see in front of you is lies and deceit. Someone backed in the corner with no way to manipulate their way out. 

“Well…figure your shit out, Els. Right now? It doesn’t seem like you do.” You grab your bags, slipping your shoes on, “I’ve had enough for now. Let me know when you grow the fuck up and let me know what’s wrong with you.” 

— 

Still, your blood boiled from last week’s exchange, the venomous words crawling up your throat like bile, as if this wasn’t what she wanted, what she started. All of this had been her idea. 

Time and time again, dismissive words found their way into your heart, making a home before you had enough time to catch them. Sure, committed and faithful, she says. Then, she does this, makes your decisions without consulting you, and scolds you for getting upset about it. You craved space, so you did what any rational person would. 

Swiftly packed your bags and flew to the other side of the country. 

The fresh feeling is still swarming through your head, and the lingering words are aimed at your heart with more impact than you could stand. When they were told, Ellie regretted them the second they left her heart-shaped lips. Yet she stands there as she analyzes your tense frame, avoiding her at all costs. 

You leave her with a soft murmur: staying at a friend’s. What you neglect to mention is that your friend lives on the other side of the country, tucked away in the safety of New York. Luckily, the nightlife is an easy distraction and does its job. 

Intentionally, the first few nights are spent drowning yourself in liquor, letting yourself be grinded on by other drunk girls until they buy you shots, walking up back in your hotel room alone — then the cycle repeats. 

The tranquility of a life forgotten, the gift of Don Julio, so like anyone else, you chase it. The drinks are free, the girls flirting with you are prettier than you’d ever seen but maybe that’s just the loneliness eating you up from the inside out. Yet, you find yourself itching to venture beneath, allow yourself to drown in someone else. Was there black lace? Possibly white or navy green boxers underneath? But you couldn’t, and you won’t. The guilt would eat you alive. 

You told yourself it was just a fight, but was it? It’s when the second thought seeped in, invading the pessimistic part of your brain and feeding into malicious tendencies. Maybe you do want this? Something new? 

Someone who wasn’t Ellie. 

The thought alone sends shivers down your spine; an agonizing dread fills you. Never had you ever been provoked to leave, but the longer the silence welcomes you with open arms, the more the affliction lingers. 

No text. No calls. No voicemails. Nothing.  

Part of you ached for resolution. Even if it meant a means to an end, you could somehow soothe the aching in your chest. On the seventh day, she reached out. 

A lazy effort of a text — couldn’t even be bothered to call. 

elsbaby: can we talk, baby? please. 

Perhaps if it had been the day after, two, three, even four — you would have the compassion to empathize. When she comes crying a week later after she spewed the most severe insults you’ve ever heard come out of her mouth? Any need to reconnect has dissipated at the drop of a hat. 

this is what you wanted. 

It shouldn’t make you spiral, but it does. You end up at a show; a rock band takes center stage at The Wolfhouse, and upcoming musicians try to make a name for themselves. Sitting at the bar, letting the vibrations of the base and the thumping of the snare drum infiltrate 

Solemnly tapping the beat of your healed boot to the beat of the drum, you take in the singer on the stage. Black raven-haired beauty with a prominent nose and beautiful lips. She made the stage her own as she worked every angle known to man. 

A firm belief is settled in your heart and everyone in there. She was born to be up there. You were too entranced, enjoying the music too much along with the cocktail in your hand, and you didn’t even notice the blonde making her way up to you. 

As soon as you felt someone next to you, the first thought in your mind was how hellbent you were to be left alone. Even if it physically put you in distress, fuck, you couldn’t even remember the last time Ellie and you went on a date. The last time she touched you, kissed you, fucked you within an inch of your life. 

It’s a pathetic, good for nothing excuse. 

The line of morality blurs whenever your eyes latch onto eyes so gray the blue almost fades into them. Gorgeous freckles scattered across her smooth cheeks like twinkling stars in the galaxy. 

Slowly, she takes your figure in, examining you up and down before smirking. She says nothing to you as she orders a neat whiskey. She hands her silver credit card to the bartender, “and whatever she wants for the rest of the night.” 

You think for a moment she’ll talk to you, but she winks before settling into a booth with four others who look oddly familiar. The rest of the night, you’re met with tranquility and the steady and skilled bump of the bass guitar. It reminded me of when you were young, ambitions were the only thing on your mind, and you were lost in the never-ending need to be someone. It’s when you still believe something is worth living for, more than beating your drum to someone else’s tune. 

You sipped on three Mexican martinis throughout the night and got lost when you walked up to the bar. The beefy, muscular blonde was there to greet you. This time, you got a clear look at her. Her rugged and toned frame shows off her commitment to the gym. 

Yet, her deep blue pools are more charming than you would like to admit. A delicate edge to her jawline pulls you in as you admire the septum ring decorating her freckled nose, the bump in her nose making you smile softly. 

You’ve always loved a girl with an intense nose for many reasons. 

Mouth-watering, luscious, bliss - are all the words coming into mind when you’re looking at her. She’s wearing as little clothing as you would expect someone who leans masculine to wear, but fuck does she know it works for her. Black leather vest worn in, eating you up from the inside out, the musky scent filled with mahogany and a dash of vanilla. 

The mysterious blonde's lack of undershirt adorns her body and steals the show. Immediately, she commands attention in every conceivable way. As mesmerizing as the raven-haired beauty appears, you would pay a lot to see her front and center on that stage. The shape of her small breasts is the real show in your mind, and the broad and toned torso gives you much to gawk at. 

Nearly, you salivate at the defined four-pack she’s sporting. A pretty enticing deep v disappears delectably into her black leather pants as if she’s a modern-day adonis but with divine feminine written all over her. Without one doubt in the world, she knows she’s the hottest piece of ass in this bar, and for some unknown reason, she’s made you her target for the night. Wined and dined you all night without saying more than a sentence to you, and it seems she’s here to collect. 

In the forefront of your mind, you believe it’s to serve some self-serving action to get off from what’s between your thighs, the sweet treat every girl has chased in this long week, but your long-term commitment tying you down like handcuffs to the post of your bed Ellie has kept you in. 

Petrifying you to your bones, you aren’t sure what to make of the thrill building up; you can’t deny the longer you look at her, the more your thighs rub together in sync with the other. 

“So—” With her tall stature, decisively, she steps forward, lips pressing against your ear with her hot breath seeping under your skin, “Are you wet because you know who I am or because you can’t stop looking at my tits?” 

“Who are you?” Your eyebrows quirked up, and you wondered why it was a factor. Was she someone you were supposed to know? Now that she said something, there was something familiar, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. “Why would I have any idea who you are?” 

Though your pussy has a heartbeat and seems to have a mind of its own. You forget about everything else when the woman gives you a toothy grin, which is too perfect. 

“That’s cute, but see, everyone knows who I am—” Abby takes matters into her own hands and begins to nibble on the side of your neck, harshly biting and sucking lightly, taking in the taste of your skin as if she’s trying to find the perfect vein to puncture with her pointy canines. If it were the case, you’d let her suck the life out of you if you got to keep her to yourself for the night. “Don’t worry pretty girl, you’ll know by the end of the night.” 

She’s passionately driven when her skilled lips and velvet tongue continue to make a mark on you as if you are hers to own, hers to please as she sees fit. You don’t even know her name, but the raging storm of lust isolates you within her honey trap. All of it feels too finite, everlasting, even if it’s just solid concrete to stand on for the night. 

Then, you remember Ellie. The longing text sent to you, not even a call. The love of your life, or so you’d always hoped, couldn’t be bothered to call you this entire week. The fallout of an inconceivable aftermath only now did she try to reach out. 

“Tell me why you’re soaking wet, baby girl.” 

You try to push her back, but she doesn’t even move; her frame is too strong. Now, your warm, firm hand places itself on her defined abdomen, pressing against the clearly defined muscles. 

You can’t deny how flushed you’ve become. 

This time you are drooling; her thumb wipes away the liquid before she sucks it back into her mouth. Her grin is even more wicked, knowing she has you right where she wants to be. 

It’s when you notice the mirrored scorpions, one on either side, her muscular biceps littered with tattoos, and the front of her neck — practically having fuck me written all over her. 

You should leave. 

You fucking should. 

She has an appetite for something else, pulling you by the waistband of your pants, her finger securely wrapped around the belt buckle. Pelvis to pelvis, grinding against you swiftly to see how much you move, and the smile she’s wearing is satisfying enough. 

She’s always liked them needy, messy, and so damn right horny they’re putty in her extensive and capable hands. 

“I’m waiting.” Her hunger is evident in her tone. She is ready to relish her sudden craving, at least to you. 

“I-I don’t even know your name,” you confess, hoping it will steer her away from you, but it’s a pathetic attempt. 

“Abby. What else is your concern, babygirl?” Her knee sneaks between your legs, applying pressure to your cunt. 

“I—” Almost with a soft thrust of her knee, Abby pushes against your cunt, damping her leather with a fucking desirable slick she’s dying to taste. Although it’s clear you like the chase, she gives it. 

Had you had sex in the past eight months, you might have pushed away the overly cocky specimen, but it has been that long. Only making the patch in your panties grow as she teases your pussy. 

Abby’s frame blocks anyone from seeing what she’s doing to you, your skirt riding up so much she can see the rounded cheeks slipping out, the black fabric slightly exposed under the bar's dim light. The more she presses, the faster your hips move against her. 

Without a care in the world, you slid so far back, and you’re on her thigh, strong arms wrapped around you, whispering filthy nothings in your ear as you get yourself off on the stranger’s muscular body. If the bartender notices, she doesn’t mind. Pretends like you’re not even there. You’re not sure which is more embarrassing. 

“Fuck, move those hips. Just like that, yeah.” 

The high, the one you’ve wanted from your girlfriend who doesn’t even want to touch you, is so close. There’s a burn in your throat infused by sheer guilt that someone else will bring you to head. Some stranger you don’t know, one handsome stranger, yet when she pushes your panties to the side and thumbs your clit it’s so challenging to care about anyone but yourself. 

You moan her name as she touches you, a skilled touch as she lightly pinches and soothes the sensitive bud. She completely enraptured you with the light touch she had to offer. Terrifyingly so, it shouldn’t affect you the way it does. 

The look in her eyes would have sent you reeling. Her musky scent is already doing enough for you. You find yourself tangled in the webs of honeydew, suckling until you’ve had enough of the sweet sensation. 

You’re just not sure how long it’ll be until you do. 

“God, acting like you haven’t been fucked, baby. Such a dirty slut letting me do….well, whatever I want.” 

Abby uses her free, dominant hand to guide your hips at a pace she sees fit. A thrill shoots down her spine as your incessant need grows like a flower at the dawn of spring—a tiny seed that is useless unless it bears root flourishing from where it’s planted. 

“So, what’s it going to be?” Abby questions. A glimmer of assurance fills her ocean eyes. She was playfully biting your exposed shoulder blade. 

“I can get you off right here, or you can come home with me.” the incredible sensation of her pierced muscling punching your skin with a chill, the stainless-steel ball adds a new sensation you weren’t expecting. She suckles and bites, marking you the more bruises as if she’s decorative for her enjoyment. “Or both. I think someone is close. I bet you’re ready to spill on my thigh. Wanna give me every last drop like the whore you are.” 

“Your home?” you manage to spit out, trying to ignore the filth she spits, but it only brings you closer to your much-needed euphoric bliss. Abby’s efforts double over as if she’s fucked you before, bouncing her leg as as you ride her thigh, knowing exactly what you need to cum all over her. 

Typically, the thread of your orgasm wouldn’t have been so easy to pull, but it seems she’s the one who placed it there in the first place. Months of not being touched left you in the hands of this Greek god who could make you feel whatever you wished for. 

She’s cocky, confident, and the sexiest woman you’ve ever seen. Yet, the answer is still hard to find. 

“Yeah, angel, my place.” You nod, unable to make a verbal confirmation. 

“Gotta hear you say it.” Just then, the feeling that was bubbling spills over and all over her hand as she cups your cunt, thumb continuing to rub at your puffy clit. 

“Yes, Yes, Yes.” you curse, chants of ecstasy fumble from your loose lips. Carelessly, you’re focused on the intense heartbeat between your legs, your body convulsing against her. 

“What's that? M’not sure if I can wear you over your weeping cunt.” Repeatedly, Abby slaps your cunt as punishment. 

“I-I want to, fuck, shit. Oh god, yes. I want to go home with you.” Your body slumps against her as she holds up your weight, and your high fades. Still, you feel blissful against her touch. Any other worry plaguing your mind dissipates, and all you think is her and strong muscles keeping you upright. 

“Good girl,” she whispers before paying off the tab and putting the lace material pack in place. You feel the white liquid stick to you, filthy, resting against you—the once taintless fabric coated with the pleasures of your sin. Dizzy, unsteady, breathless — it’s everything you feel. 

She thrives on knowing you need her. Even if it’s for tonight, the purpose will be served. Regardless of what she needs, this will be even more of a thrill, and the only thing she uses is her hand—not even her dominant one. 

Abby moves your skirt down so your ass is covered again. “C’mon, pretty girl. let’s see how much of a slut you are." She leads you outside while she makes quick work of her phone, and suddenly, there’s a sleek black car, a Cadillac, you assume, with a driver in tow. The windows are tinted enough for you to wonder if it’s even legal. Silver rims, with a diamond emblem in the center shining so bright under the moonlight that it nearly takes your attention from the woman who has you in her grip. 

“Last chance? I can have her drive you home.” She smirks, knowing you won’t take the out that’s being so generously given. Perfect, beautiful, she thinks, eyes still dilated from you getting off on her thing and the continuous swipe of the pad of her thumb. 

It’s there. The smidge of penance you feel you’re obligated to ask for. Regardless of how amazing it feels, there’s something about the ending. This will be the end of all fuck ups; maybe, there’s still hope for the two of you if you go home. Call Ellie in the morning before the need to suppress the shame. 

But don’t you deserve this one thing for yourself? 

Everything under the sun has been for the auburn-haired beauty who has held your heart from the moment she patched up your bleeding knee. The moment a total stranger managed to win your heart, an adolescent love that knew nothing of the lesson of heartbreak or the years you chased after Ellie while she was chasing others. 

How she let her feelings hover over the friendship of years with no consequence, especially after her long-term high school girlfriend, the one whose heart she broke into a tiny million pieces. Tragically, there still stood an existing fear for you. She was just a kid, but would she move on as quickly now as she did back then? It was as if they meant nothing to her, moving from the next one as if the time spent together had been insignificant, meaningless, just an ease to pass the misery of time. 

You feared you would be the same. 

Falling under the same umbrella, but you hope you are different. There were talks of marriage and settling into the countryside once she could retire. A shared dream, you thought. Perhaps it was a foolish sin to keep close to your heart. 

Then there was Abby, a heavenly distraction from all the dread waiting for you. Everything you must pick back up eventually if you want to stay tucked into the nightlife of New York is just your dreams hanging up on the shelf, totting away with the relationship. An expiration date was labeled on the two of you, and an impending doom you could only fall through. 

Everything was always for her. 

Ellie. Ellie. Ellie. 

“What’s it going to be, princess?” She pulled you towards as she spun you around with ease, back pulled to her chest, her lips kissing your ear. All you could focus on was how strong she felt. Her strong hold bending you to her will wouldn’t be a challenge. If she wanted to, she could do whatever she liked. You are sure no isn’t a word she’s used to hearing. 

But it went further than just how she looks. 

It’s in the way she doesn’t even have to lift a finger to have you hooked on her. It entices you, thinking about how long she’d been staring at you all night. The curve of your ass in your tight, little skirt — was she staring at it? Did she think about all the ways she could fuck your perfect little hole if you would let her do everything she’d been thinking of? The way your hardened nipples poked through your mesh top. If she said anything, you could blame it on the draft, not just her sheer presence making them protrude through the fabric. 

She did no work whatsoever to make you cum, letting you use her to get yourself off. There was an ease to it. One you hadn’t experienced before. 

Here she is, using it against you again. 

“Am I coming in the car with you, or will you rub your clit, alone, wishing you’d let me fuck you in all the ways I’ve been dreaming?” Her hands sneak under the lace, pinching your nipples between her thumb and forefinger, enjoying the way your hips buck up, aching to be touched by her again. 

“Just give in, baby. I know you want to.” Her dominant hand abandons your nipple, leaving the other to tease it. While she escapes underneath your skirt once again, “So wet for me already, huh?” Harshly, she grips your cunt, a finger sliding up your slit, but she’s intentional about not letting it slip in. 

“I-I shouldn’t, shit, oh my g—” You try to think of an excuse, one good enough to convince yourself you should not go through with this. “I really shouldn’t.” 

“And?” Abby’s canines dig into the side of your neck as she teasingly bites the flesh, soothing it with a velvet tongue, making more marks on the side she hadn’t touched tonight. “Are you taken?” 

“That’s a complicated question.” Abby grins at your response with a sinister smirk. 

“Well, if she’s not making you happy, let me do it for her.” Abby tilts your jaw, forcing you to gaze at her. 

“Let me guess, no one has touched this perfect pussy in a long time. So, fucking neglected, huh?” 

“I didn’t say I had a—” 

“It doesn’t matter to me.” Your pussy dripping with shame at her words. 

“Yeah, it’s been a while.” You admit. Abby continues to torture you with the split of your slit, the two of you starting to draw attention, but you think it just excites her even more. “I haven’t felt—” 

The moment you say the words, Abby spins you around. You whine at her touch leaving your pussy, but she makes up for it slightly when her hands palm your ass. “Tell me. Look me in my eyes, baby, and tell me what you need. I’ll give you whatever the fuck you want.” 

Your hands weave themselves into her golden locks. You are intertwined with the waves that disguise themselves as shimmering waterfalls. But you look down as you try to think of some excuse to leave and make yourself leave with dignity. 

Big mistake. 

The happy trail, the blonde hair travels inside her pants, leaving you in awe underneath the moonlight. Abby’s leather vest pushed off slightly, her tits still covered with black pasties. 

“Why don’t you take them off? Wanna see my pretty tits, baby?” You nod with too much eagerness. Abby chuckles. 

She watches with a smirk as you take them off. The silver, shining barbell has you moan at the sight of them—the sight of her. Smudged black eyeliner makes her appear even more irresistible, hooded eyes gazing at you; a gentle hand finds your throat, applying pressure with her thumb, constraining your breathing slightly. 

“Fuck, they are perfect.” You confess, your eyes gleaming at her pink nipples exposed before meeting with her eyes once again. 

“Yeah, they are, but they would look even better with your pretty lips around them.” 

She will not give up. 

“This is such a bad idea.” Abby knows your mind is made up, and you’ll come home with her. Even if the guilt swarms like a bee to a honey hive, it’s all the same to her. “But, God, you’re so fucking hot.” 

Your hands roam her toned, tattooed torso, the scorpions so delicious you want to outline every detail with your tongue. The thought of being strong has worn off—only the woman before you is on your mind. 

“Well, to me, it seems you can’t keep your hands to yourself.” Fingertips grazing her tits, her nipple hardening underneath you touch. “I’ll let you do whatever you want after I’m done with you. Well, if you still have the energy.” 

A grumbling of frustration leaves your lips — you aren’t sure if it’s a desperate plea, a sigh of relief, or something else entirely. 

“Like what?” You can’t stop touching her breasts, continuing to tease her pink nipple, but you meet her eyes. Abby’s positive you’ve never seen a smirk so wide. 

“What do you like?” Abby pushes your hair back, fuck me eyes looking up at her. The ones that hadn’t left from the moment you laid eyes on her. She leans down just a little so her lips are pressed against your ear, “Do you wanna fuck my ass? Want me to sit on your gorgeous face while you eat me out? Fuck me in front of the mirror and watch my face when I cum?” 

Grabbing your hair, she yanks it. Exposing the expanse of your neck. She’s grown so fond of marking. The slick between her thighs continued to blossom as you let her do whatever the hell she wanted. Like a whimpering bitch in heat, you took everything she had to offer. 

Fuck it. 

You cradle her face with her palms, smashing her lips to yours. It’s all tongue and teeth. Rough palms squeezing your ass, making you grind into her again. Your force casually lets her stumble into the car but you don’t let up. Whimpering and moaning into her mouth like there’s no tomorrow, as if this moment will slip right through your fingers. 

Her breath smells of fresh mint, her tongue casually dominates yours, staking claim to what she already believes to be hers. It’s then you realize your forever doomed because you feel the fluttering in your stomach as she growls in your mouth, animalistic — your pelvis grinding against her much more defined one. 

You pull apart for one moment, unable to take one more moment away from her. 

If you don’t get it, her tongue, her cunt, those pretty fingers decorated in silver jewelry, hell, you would settle for her pierced nipples rubbing against your clit. 

“Abby?” She stops, opening her eyes to see you. You’re even more fucked out than she is. “Yes, baby?” She hums into your mouth, the sweet sensation vibrating your entire body. 

“Let’s stop giving everyone a show and give me one.” Abby nods, the first sign of her eagerness as she opens the door for you, unable to keep her hands off you. 

“We better go before you soak my car then, hm?” She slaps your ass as she leads you in. 

— 

As she has you in tow, hand in yours leading you towards the elevator in her building, the most luxurious one you’ve seen, one so high you’re sure it’s the highest in the skyline of New York City.

 It isn’t surprising she has her own driver, or she lives in the penthouse of the building, even the plaques decorating the wall — a shrine to her evident success. Everything just…makes sense. Yet there’s a pit in your stomach, crawling and feasting. It's swarming within you, a nagging incessant fly buzzing around warning you to run. You don’t have much time to think about how horrible of an idea this is. 

Alone with someone who could easily overpower you, at the mercy of a complete stranger yet when she puts her arms around your waist, all of it seems to melt away. She’s given you no reason not to trust her. You’re just thinking too much. 

That’s all it is. 

The little voice chants in your head, trying to make excuses for yourself as to not go through with this but they dissipate when her calloused palms find home on your waist. Soothing over your delicate skin, enticing you into her impenetrable web. Everything about her intoxicates you. Making every thought vacant your head, even more so when she starts playing with the hem of your skirt. 

“Let me get you a drink.” She kisses your temple before going behind the makeshift bar in the dining room. An assortment of every liquor component known behind her. Part of you thinks she’s doing it for show, the way her biceps flex as she shakes the drink in the silver canister, pointingly making the drink you’d been ordering all night long. 

So, she had been watching you all night. You knew if she wasn’t as hot as she is, you’d be creeped out. But it’s hard to be creeped out when she’s still shirtless, the black leather vest doing very little to cover her. Any time she moves you see her pink pierced nipples, nearly making you salivate. 

With the Mexican martini in her grip, with her own in the other, you’re stuck. You didn’t think she’d actually want to have a conversation with you. Leading you out to the balcony, almost the entire view of the city before your very eyes, practically causing you to freeze in your footsteps. 

“Wow.” Unable to conceal it, you voice your immediate awe. Abby chuckles, the first sign of sincerity you’ve seen all night. Everything else only seemed as a woman trying to get a needed fuck but right now but she hasn’t even tried to even so much as kiss you. Taking small sips of her whiskey, hip touching yours as the moonlight reflects from the water to her blue eyes, nearly as vivid as the moon itself. 

“Yeah, it’s quite a view, think it’s the only thing keeping me coming back here. I’m on the road so much, it’s nice to have some stability.” Abby smiles softly, the confession tumbling from her lips before she can catch it. ”A pretty penny for me to keep it but it’s worth it.” 

“Is this your move then?” You know the martini is doing the talking for you, if not you’d be a mumbling mess unable to form one sentence that even sounds remotely coherent. Abby quirks one of her blonde eyebrows upwards but keeps her mouth shut, waiting for you to continue. “Is this what you do with everyone?” 

Abby takes a step closer to you, giving you all her attention. She plays with the chain on your neck, pulling it lightly to bring you closer to her. Carefully eyeing you up and down, smirking as she does, “Do you want the truth or do you want me to lie like I do with everyone else?” 

It’s more than you expected her to offer. A careless lie would have suited her more. If there is one thing you know for sure, Abby could get anyone she wants and she wouldn’t have brought you here if she didn’t want you to be here. 

“Are you capable of the truth? M’not sure you are.” For once, Abby is a bit silent. Carefully, she contemplates on what to say next. She isn’t sure what she should say. Usually she’s the one laying the honey traps for the swarming bees but right now? Abby feels like the control is slipping from her grip. 

She can’t have that. 

“Which one is going to make that guilt easier on your conscience?” Abby smirks as the shame fills your eyes. “It’s a girlfriend, isn’t it? It always is.” Anyone else would take two steps back, maybe even see themselves out but you want to prove a point. 

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” The immediate rejection of your very real girlfriend fills you with even more shame than you know what to do with. Abby chuckles at the omission, the way your voice shrieks out the statement with a sense of urgency. A desperate action to cover the truth. “Sure you don’t.” 

“I’m telling the truth!” Your voice raises as you lean into Abby, her firm hands on your waist as you both face each other. Abby nods, tongue poking through her cheek, pulling at your necklace once again. Admiring the curve in the E, the gold chain shining. It’s a pretty necklace, probably one your girlfriend gave you but Abby makes no comment of it. 

“Yeah, okay, and I hate pussy.” Abby giggles. You think it’s so cute, it shouldn’t even be funny, but it is. Just like earlier in the night, you’re so close to her, nothing as slim as a sheet of paper could fit in between the two of you. Without even thinking about it, you rest your hand on her abdomen again, her strength tangible as you feel her up once again. Truly, you’re unable to stop touching her. Every part of you wants this to happen, even if it comes back to bite you in the ass, the curiosity and your fluttering cunt can’t really think of anything else. 

“You can still walk out that door. Just say the word and my driver will take you home.” Abby whispers into the busy street beneath you, it’s so faint from the distance but the two of you can hear it. “Or you can let me slide your pretty little skirt up and let me make a slut of you, babygirl.” 

Maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it’s your throbbing clit, maybe it’s the lack of contact in months, most of all maybe it’s the fact Ellie took so long to reach out, but you give in. Throwing your arms around her neck, pulling her lips to yours, regardless of the possible consequence looming after you, threatening to tear apart the picture perfect life you thought you’re living. 

All of it happens in a blink of an eye. Abby’s tongue staking claim, dominating in ways you didn’t know were possible before she’s pushing your front against the balcony, placing your hand on the railing. With ease, she maneuvers your body in just the way she wants. “Gotta tell me yes pretty girl, that’s the only way this is going to start.” 

Facing the view, the buzzing city filled with nightlife and wonder, endless possibilities on your fingertips but you’re thinking about her hands. How much you want them inside you, fucking you full, or the strap in her pants you’d be rubbing against earlier. The thoughts of her slipping her cock inside you, claiming you in a way no one has in awhile. Making you feel wanted, needed, even if it was a fleeting feeling just for the night. You deserve it. Just one, stupid, decision — you were owed at least one. 

“Yes, s’what I want. You.” That’s all it takes before Abby pushes your skirt to your waist, sliding off your panties as she allows you to step out of them. 

“Are you sure?” Abby questions you. She pushes off from you, you hear her zipper being brought down as you look back at her, her vest being chucked to the lawn chair by the pool. 

Fuck. 

If she’s even half as good as she’s claiming to be, you are so fucked. 

“I’m sure.” 

Abby wraps her hands around your waist again, hands dipping under your shirt as she squeezes your breasts, teasing your hard nipples with her fingers. You sigh instantly, loving the stimulation she’s providing. You feel the barrel of her tongue piercing as she lightly sucks behind the sweet spot behind your ear, as if Abby's the one to place it there in the first place. 

“Good.” Abby teases your entrance with her cock, your body shuddering as it slides over your folds, using your slick as lubricant. Already, you’re grinding against her, just like before as she guides your hips in the pace she likes. “Do you like getting off on my cock, baby?” 

“Mhm, yeah, I do.” It’s all but a whisper. Abby still hears you speak, slapping your ass playfully, blunt fingers digging into the skin. She can’t believe anyone not wanting to touch you, not wanting to make you feel good. You’re the hottest person she’s ever fucking seen. Your ass, your tits, the moans spilling from your mouth, it’s been in her filthiest dreams. 

“What about now?” Abby lets her cock slip inside you, stretching out your walls as you take everything she has to offer. It’s been so long since you’ve been filled like this, your cunt greedily taking every inch has she slides in further and further. With a tight grip, you hold onto the railing as she thrust with her strong hips forward, your back arching so deep as she places her hand on your lower back, forcing the bend. 

“Oh…” Abby grins at your desperate moans, “You really do know how to be a good girl and take it.” Her name falls from your lips like a stuttering prayer, as if she’s the god you’re praising at the altar. With each thrust, Abby back more of her strength into, packing a powerful punch to your cunt. Pulling at the strings, already making you see stars as you take from the angle. 

“Fuck!” With no warning, Abby pulls at your hair, your body conforming to her will. She could do as she pleased and you would let her. You wonder if you even had a chance or if this is what was meant to be. Her speed grows rapidly, your stomach doing flips as she penetrates you, fucking you until you’re irrevocably spent. 

“See? You’re just a whore. My whore. Got you cock drunk for me. Don’t I?” Abby thumbs with your clit, making you see stars. Lost in the effortlessness of her actions, calloused fingers playing you like her drums set. With ease, from memory she pulled out a performance, just like she did at every show, aiming to please her audience. 

“Do you—” Abby draws circles on your puffy clit, your growl as you attempt to push through your words. “Shit, I’m—” 

“Hm?” You hear it, the sound of your cunt being fucked blending into the busy street, her hands pulling you on her cock over and over. “Didn’t think I’d take it easy on you now, did you?” 

“I just didn’t think you’d actually feel this good.” With one particular hard thrust, Abby has your eyes rolling into the back of your head. Your body begins to shake at her ministrations. 

“We’re just getting started but I wanna see that gorgeous face.” She pulls out of you as she sits on the nearest lawn chair, “Hop back on, babygirl, s’all yours to use.” You remove the rest of your clothes, the E chain the only thing adorning your body. 

Messily, Abby spits on her large palm, mixing your slick coating her cock making sure she’d be nice and ready for you to slide right back on. You grip her soft, freckled shoulders as she helps guide you, her blue eyes darkening as she sees the bliss written all over your face. Sinking on her cock is a sight Abby wants to replay in her mind, the high pitched moan that releases from your body is food for her soul. 

“Fuck yourself on me, babygirl. Mhm, show me how much you need it.” You lean her forehead against yours, look in her beautiful blues, feeling a strange sense of intimacy as she fucks hours brains out. Abby likes the fact you have no idea who she is but you’re riding her like no tomorrow. 

When you start bouncing on her cock, Abby loses all coherent thought. Your not so subtle bounce of your tits, she loves them so much she cranes her neck to suck on your nipples, her tongue piercing adding a new sensation, unable to stop your pussy from gushing around her. 

“Does your girlfriend fuck you like this? Mhm, I don’t think so. My sweet babygirl, so frustrated, and all you need is some good fucking cock, huh?” 

“All I need is you.” Abby thrusts her hips into you, her heavily ring hand slips her pinky ring off, the shimmering gold is placed on your clit, your body jerking from someone so cold on your throbbing bundle of nerves. 

“Since you can’t feel the little ball on my tongue right now, I suppose this will have to do.” 

“Is that so, baby? Need me?” Abby glances over your shoulder before looking back at you, before she continuously meets the roll of your hips with her thrusts. “Dirty fucking slut, so horny for your cunt to be fucked properly. It’s why you came out tonight, why you got off on my thigh at the bar, why you couldn’t stop looking at me, s’why your hands have been over me all fucking night.” 

“Abby, shit, keep talking like that.” 

“Hm, you like when I call you my dirty slut? When I tell you how needy you are for me? Bet you would have let me bend you over the bar and fucked you right there.” You’re groaning, you scream her name so loudly, Abby can’t help but grin with a sinister smirk. 

“Yes, would let you do anything.” Abby hums approvingly, the cool sensation of her diamond encrusted ring doing wonders to bring you over the edge, “Please, don’t stop. Don’t ever—” 

One particular hard thrust has Abby wrapping an arm around your waist, holding you up as your body nearly becomes deadweight, her head making home on your shoulder. It’s when she steps into the light, met with Abby’s darkness. The night she had perfectly curated to fully benefit her, the strategic planning of a rotten apple, split right down the middle when push came to shove. 

— 

Three Months Prior…

“You said you would tell her.” The frustration written all over Abby’s face, her voice only raising an octave higher. Abby has never been so disgusted with herself, stopping so low, thinking she would get chosen over the long term girlfriend. 

Stupid. 

“I know what I said. I’m telling you, I can’t.” Ellie pinches the bridge of her button nose, trying to concentrate as Abby makes no move to do anything else but continue to fuck Ellie’s cunt. 

“Oh no?” Abby slips a third finger in her pussy as she shoves her face between her slender thighs. “You don’t wanna tell her why you won’t fuck her anymore? All the light night calls with your manager are flights to come to my penthouse and get your pussy fucked out?” 

Her tongue dips into Ellie’s pussy, she flattens her pierced tongue, the cool golden ball adding stimulation to the weeping woman’s clit, her body jerking at the action. “She’s too fucking good for you.” The speed of the bigger girl’s fingers send Ellie into godspeed, flirting with another dimension as she allows Abby to play tricks on her pussy. 

The reason she comes back, no one makes her cum like she does, not even you. Abby wants more but Ellie refuses to give it, not willing to leave you even if you know what she’s been doing, all the lies she’s told in order to fuck Abby, you’d never look her way again. “She can't do this though? It’s why you keep coming back, you need my fingers stuffed in your pussy.” Abby’s fingers are reaching so deep, kissing Ellie’s cervix as she grips onto her wrist, bucking her hips up into the rockstar’s fingers. 

“Maybe I should give them to her instead. I’m sure she would be more grateful.” Abby spits sloppily on Ellie’s pussy, kitten licking her clit until she sucks it in her mouth, tongue rapidly flicking over her bundle of nerves. Abby tsks, “Selfish slut, cum on daddy’s tongue like you fucking mean it.” 

Like the greedy whore she is, Ellie squirts into Abby’s mouth and the blonde doesn’t waste a single moment, she slurps obnoxiously on Ellie’s cunt. “Fucking whore.” Her tongue flattens as he licks from her puckered hole to her clit, every drop dispersing into mouth. 

Ellie’s entire body shakes, barely registering when Ellie throws on a robe, leaving it open and she lights up a cigarette on the balcony of her bedroom. Ellie whines for Abby. 

“This was the last time.” With a flip of a switch, Abby’s tone changes, her cunt with her blonde pubes making her pussy appear even more irresistible, all she wanted was to get on her knees for Abby, repay the favor but the stoic look on her face tells her she won’t be getting anywhere near her tonight. 

She exhales a puff of smoke, her sun kissed skin reflecting off the moonlight, every defined line of muscle making her even more beautiful. “But why? Did you suddenly grow a conscience?” 

“No but I’m not interested in being someone’s side piece. I’m the main fucking show.” Abby shrugs her shoulders matter of factly, “Show yourself out, Williams.” 

— 

The memory flashes before Abby’s eyes, she’s sure it’s crossing Ellie’s mind, her worst nightmare playing in front of her. Her girlfriend, screaming her mistress’s name, as she clings onto Abby like a second life line. The look of horror in her emerald eyes, she would know your body everywhere, it’s you. 

“All mine, my pretty pussy baby, m’babygirl gonna cum soon? yeah? can you do that for me?” Every word spoken was salt in the wound, smearing in as Ellie stood frozen still. The text was deliberately sent tonight for her own demise. Using Ellie’s needy nature against her, but it seems someone else was quite needy, but fuck was she prettier. 

Ellie is a fucking idiot, Abby thought. 

Knowing how much she loved it, Abby brought her finger to her mouth, sucking on the digit, then she teases your puckered hole and you’re begging to convulse. Letting yourself be held by Abby, but your hips don’t stop moving. 

No. 

You’re fucking yourself even harder on her. 

“Mommy, please? Make me cum, fuck, need to cum all over your cock. Gonna dump her for you, please. I’ll do anything you want, just don’t stop, don’t ever stop.” With her finger only slightly slipping into your ass, you see pull on her golden waves, allowing yourself to slip into the hold of rotten intentions. Ellie has seen enough as she slams the door on her way out but you’re too fucked out to even clock it. 

“Good girl. Let it go. Mommy’s got you. Mhm, give it all to me, baby.” When she’s don’t fucking you into another dimension, Abby lays back on the chair, feeling quite satisfied with her successful plot of revenge. 

Even better, she has you. 

You fall on top of her, still stuffed full, when she finds sucking on her nipples. Your tongue toying with the barbell, pushing and pulling as Abby takes a sharp intake of breath. 

“Sorry, I've been wanting to do that all night.” You giggle lightly, Abby drawing random patterns on your exposed back. She doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt as she lets you suck on her tits, marking her porcelain skin. You’re already more of a giver than Ellie, she smiles at the thought. 

“Don’t have to apologize. Never going to say no to a beautiful girl sucking my tits.” 

She’s entirely mesmerized by you, in ways she hasn’t been before. Truthfully, she almost came from seeing you cum. Never in her life has someone brought her so close without having her pussy in their mouth. “Do you want the driver to take you home or do you want to go for round two? I’d like to fuck you on my bed, feel your dripping cunt on mine, make you forget about that pathetic girlfriend of yours.” 

You forget she’s still inside you because you sit up fully and you’re moaning, again. 

“I’d like that but let me give you another ride, yeah?” 

Unbeknownst to you, the rotten apple lays beneath you, the same E chain hidden beneath the countless chains adorning her neck but sometimes they can taste just as divine as the sweet one. Sour or sweet? That’s for you to decide. 

Bloody, intentional, reckless — Abby Anderson has brought it all. 

Showing Ellie just how sweet something rotten could really be if preserved for someone else.

reblogs and extra thots are appreciated! hope you enjoyed ♡

taglist: @plutolovesyou @brackishkittie @only4theweeknd @tlouloser @marvelwomenarehot0 @grey-jedi12 @r3starttt @bittersu1te @pxgeturner @maxinephobia @marsworldd @aouiaa @mytwoseater @cherrybunny @twopeoplee @i-lov3-w0men @lvlymicha @half-of-a-gay @pa-co @rkivedpages @lucidfairies @vxqen @liizzygrant @ivka165-blog @yourfriendlyneighboorhoodeden @lluvme9 @wifeoftish @wildcatsgs @skzhoiic c @sheadoreshannah @angelynn-nicole @dizzy-dyke @crackhead237 @fairydxll @ellieusedtampon @bottom4butches @slxtcity

sorry if you aren’t tagged, my tumblr likes to be a butt. </3

[philzasjuicyass]

Like I had a dream of Season 2 last night, and weirdly it seemed exactly like what Season 2 might actually be like in terms of reveals. Like it turned out Alastor was actually a fraud, he didn’t kill all those overlords when he first got to Hell, but rather lied and said he did, and began attaining some power over the years with that rep, never a lot but enough to beat out smaller names, that being why he was so dependent on smaller deals like those he had Rosie keep an eye out for. He wasn’t pacing himself but desperately trying to live up to the myth of the Radio Demon. And it turned out Husk had been more powerful than Alastor when he acquired his soul, and the day he did was just as stressful for Alastor as it was for Husk. Then Vox tried to have him join the Vees, Alastor turned him down since he didn’t want to truth of his power being much lower than thought being found out, they got in a fight, and Alastor was legitimately hurt but managed to hide it and leave before Vox realised, just as he did with Adam. Alastor then encountered the real force responsible for those overlords going missing: Eve, the first woman. Basically in the world of ‘Hazbin’, before Heaven and Hell, there was simply Good and Evil, literal personifications, concepts given awareness. Good was the first to gain mass, becoming God, creating the angels and then Earth, Adam, Lilith, Eve, while Evil was left a simple force, until Lilith formed the apple of free will and gave it to Eve, infecting her with Evil, and so she became its embodiment, God’s counterpart in evil. Who could be seen in the opening storybook in the first episode, Go(o)d a closed eye amongst clouds, Evil a red eye(s) and smile amongst darkness, I checked once I woke up to ensure that shot was real. So basically all descendants of hers, humanity, would have both good and evil within them: the reason Adam was in Heaven was that in spite of being a jerk, he never had Evil as a concept within him. So what neither Alastor or Eve would have known was that because of this, he was among the few that could ever kill her (Evil), and now that Niffty took him out of the picture, the only ones left who could do so are Lilith and Charlie, the only ones of human descent not to be infected with Evil on some level (angels not having the right stuff to make it work). Anyway my dream had it that Alastor and Lilith hadn’t really met, but once Alastor made his deal with Eve, and she got herself a representative, Lilith felt it, and immediately fled to Heaven. And we would find this out since in Season 2, overlords started to go missing again as they once did before, only this time Alastor couldn’t really claim credit. My dream ended before it was clear who had killed them, whether it was Eve trying to find a new rep (the process having dissolved the souls of most whose wills were not powerful enough to escape her, before she had found Alastor, who would have spent the seven years he was gone attempting to escape her mass, regain corporeality to act on Eve’s behalf), or whether it was Lilith trying to figure out which overlord was Eve’s rep and wipe them out, but it did feature Vox be killed later on in the season, and Valentino and Velvette had a beautiful mournful ballad in response to this, like with her being the source of all Evil in this world I could have seen Val apologists in real life saying all he did wasn’t his fault because of her, what her influence did, which wouldn’t be great, but the scene my mind came up with was (great). So anyway Alastor’s purpose would have been to prevent redemption within Hell from being possible, since it would ruin Eve. It seemed surprisingly plausible to canon as we know it: I was thoroughly impressed with my subconscious mind on waking up.

i love hearing about other people's dreams. banger subconscious storytime, anon

[moldygreenblue]

things from the asoue movie

(i personally think did better than netflix asoue, with “honorary mentions” that i can tolerate in ways.)

1. the movie soundtrack. thomas newman composes a lot of good scores, and everything in the asoue movie soundtrack is no exception (drive away is a real head banger). the fact it’s all on youtube, means one can jam to it whenever they go on youtube (i’m guilty of this). i love the netflix soundtrack a lot as well because shoot that is jim dooley’s music (i love his music ever since pushing daisies came out!). but netflix...where’s the official soundtrack? the fact jim dooley’s youtube channel has him uploading songs via request means he’s the only one to listen to the fans who want the show’s soundtrack is why the movie did better because of netflix’s poor treatment by not releasing it. it has to be jim dooley himself having to do it (and i appreciate him doing so because omg i can finally hear the tpp version ‘that’s not how the story goes’ without lemony talking over *tears up*)

2. the vfd group photo. everyone in the photo feels all organic and real. you got members sitting on the floor and steps. some members are standing. some members smiling happy to be there, or with neutral expressions because they don’t want to be there. some are in gestures of sorts (ike is flexing his arm like a goofball; that’s a nice touch to flesh out a dead minor character). it almost feels like the movie team decided ‘since we have the budget, we should get billy connolly, meryl streep, and others to take a photo and we’re telling them they can do whatever they want’. netflix’s vfd feels artificial and very, fake in ways. i don’t want to say it’s a bad photoshop, because group photos can have everyone stand in neat little row all smiles, but some heads feel...off. like, something feels really off with larry, ike, and uh, the guy i think is lemony who is clearly got the worst of it. is that a bad photoshop?

3. the littlest elf. the movie made that elf have a (minor) presence from beginning to end. there’s the fake out opening. the theme song from the fake out opening is heard three more times (twice in-verse, and it’s the final song in the credits) and it’s annoyingly catchy. olaf having a bobble head doll so shoot that means it’s popular franchise in the movie world. the movie made the littlest elf a thing, and netflix only makes it a word-of-mouth reference. what’s weirder for netflix is gustav despite having more of a character and kept his director status (unlike movie!gustav), never bring up this horrific masterpiece and the connection between the two (that i can recall). like, this is not cool, netflix!

4. movie!monty being able to carry snakes and having a personal snake.  the movie probably had the budget to do so unlike netflix, but monty in any continuity would carry a snake with him if possible, even for a short amount of time. movie!monty goes up a level by being a giddy herpetologist with his own personal pet snake he loves and adore (sidenote: movie!monty, that’s why petunia thinks you’re a tree you always carry her around. you spoil her rotten). netflix!monty with the winged lizard is not the same vibe, because it’s cgi. i think netflix!monty should have hold a real snake for at least a minute, as a treat.

5. two-thirds of the wide window section. it’s not that i think the netflix version is bad, for i do enjoy it. but there’s so many details in the movie version i enjoy: josephine and her poofy black mourning dress. klaus dissociating in the kitchen and josephine losing it. josephine casually telling the children ‘oh no he [ike] got eaten by leeches’ and the baudelaires are all (O_o) and sunny speaks for them all. the fact josephine is strong enough to pull the chain to show off the wide window all by herself and violet and klaus are still (O_o).  josephine screaming at the jane lynch cameo + “we got to get her out of the house.”. sunny accidentally dropping the apple basket. klaus tackling captain sham shamelessly. the baudelaires getting accuse of shoplifting. everything about hurricane herman, especially with josephine’s fears coming true. klaus assuming violet may kill them all with her plan to get off the platform.

the fact that the deleted/extended version of josephine’s death is so messed up (josephine realizing she can’t jump, josephine allowing herself to sit back on the boat, crying as she apologizes, the fog covering her and the boat), i truly think the wide window was the book the movie team attempted to do the series right in their own way, but meddling got involve.

and now, honorary mentions.

honorary mention 1: movie!powder face women ages. i don’t know what is up with their personalities (i’m including deleted scenes), but you know what? the movie team did cast two actresses who fit the age range of the sbg. had the movie continued in hypothetical sequels, i would have 100% believe their recruitment into vfd is connected to the loss of their sibling in a fire. netflix!powder face women are older than their movie counterparts (and maybe book counterparts, taking brett helquist’s illustrations of them as them being on the younger side), so when netflix decided to make ishmael the creator of vfd, they pretty much made a giant hole of a contradiction over their statement of losing a sibling to a fire (unless they aged very badly). netflix due to their major changes of vfd, made the movie look good in a weird way. honorary mention because movie series is dead in the water, and their characterization.

honorary mention 2: the baudelaire’s mansion. the exterior only shows up for one second in its glory before fernald stabs his hook into the photo, but given how the ruins are shown a lot, it’s easy to tell the mansion isn’t super huge, but still huge and noticeable. its location being in middle of the street holding a corner spot of sorts means looking from high above does give the illusion it’s in the ‘heart of a dirty and busy city’. the netflix mansion...it’s something. the netflix mansion looks like it’s borderline on a suburb neighborhood, and the mansion takes up six lots like this not what i thought in mind. it’s honorary mention because the exterior shows up for one second (and i’m not sure how to feel about the interior).

honorary mention 3: movie!lemony hiding his face 24/7. netflix!lemony showing his face is because he’s narrating the series from the future. whenever (past) netflix!lemony shows up, there’s is a sense (future) netflix!lemony is trying to avoid narrating himself because it screams, “oh hey that’s me! oh wait that’s me. i’m just...going to go.” and he leaves and only comes back after he’s certain past!lemony is gone. as much i as actually enjoy what netflix did, i do like the ‘i’m not going to show my face, suckers’ angle lemony has in the books. 

the movie carries this over. lemony’s face is always not in the shot because the movie is showing his body head down, obscure by shadows, or do show his face but partly. the whole ‘my ribbon just jam’ bit still has lemony still refusing to not show his face. in fact, it’s hard to find a shot where his face is ‘visible’ without editing the lighting and shadows and what not until the ending, when lemony gets his transcript out of the typewriter due to the lighting of the lamp:

it’s a honorary mention because excluding lemony having no shame on interrupting the fake out opening, no shame on telling the audience to jump out the airplane if they’re watching the movie there, the ‘ribbon just jammed’ moment (if only because movie!lemony blank out afterwards), and technically lemony being melancholic after looking out the spyglass (lemony would totally do that, but in a different context), movie!lemony doesn’t do a lot of things that make him be, well, lemony. that, and movie!lemony’s aesthetics still confuses me to this day.