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#but she’s a main character for a story I’ve been thinking about for a good while now
gojoidyll · 19 hours
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stubborn heart ch. 6
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yan!capitano x wife!reader
summary | or in which capitano is told he needs a wife. and he begrudgingly agrees.
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“M’lady,” your maid bowed to you as she opened your carriage door. After getting ready for the day, you had quickly left the house with your maid following after.
“Thank you,” you said as your attention was soon brought to the bookstore. It was the best one that Snezhnaya has with a grand selection all around. Just thinking about what books you could get today excited you to no end.
“Back again,” the cashier said with a grin as you entered the bookstore. Smiling sheepishly at being recognized so easily, you nodded, “it seems I just can’t stay away,” you answered.
“Your patronage is always appreciated. If you need help finding anything, please don’t be afraid to ask.”
You pondered her words for a moment, before nodding to yourself, “about that. Do you think you can give me some book recommendations?”
The cashier immediately brightened at your words as she clapped her hands together, “I would be happy to! I have some favorites that I have just been dying to share with people, but its always hard to find people who are interested in the same thing…”
“Well,” you started, “I’ve been told that I would read just about anything. Back at the Hearth I would resort to reading cookbooks or how to manuals if I ran out my normal reading material.”
The cashier chuckled at your words, “well, not to worry, I won’t be recommending anything like that,” she moved from behind the counter and gestured for you to follow, “come on, I’ll show you where my favorite section is.”
When she turned to walk off you and your maid followed.
“And here we are,” she stopped in front an aisle and walked into it, and as she would run her fingers along the spines of the book she stopped on a specific one, “this one was just too good,” she said as she pulled it out, but before she handed it to you, she hesitated.
“Something wrong,” you asked.
“Well.. how do you feel about romance books?”
“Oh! I like them a lot! It’s one of my favorites honestly.”
“And what about romance with a little… spice to it?”
Spice? You weren’t exactly sure what that meant…
“Uhm, sure. I’m fine with that too.”
“Perfect!”
Her hesitation was long gone as she handed the book to you, “Arkan is by far the perfect fictional man by the way, he’ll have you wishing you were in the book!”
You looked down at the title as she handed it to you.
Most of the romance books you read were short fantasy stories, and most of the time the main characters only had titles and didn’t have names. Like the book Capitano was reading to you. The princess, knight, and the prince didn’t have any names or stuff like that. So, having a romance book with characters who had actual names may be a good change of pace.
“Thank you! Do you by chance have any other recommendations?”
“Of course!”
Throughout the rest of the time you spent there, the cashier lady kept telling you the level of spice of a book which continued to confuse you, but not wanting to seem like an idiot you kept acting like you knew what she was talking about. Though, luckily, she did give you some books to buy that didn’t have any “spice” in them whatsoever.
“M’lady,” your maid said as you both finally made it back to the manor.
“Yes,” you asked as you helped her carry the many books you had bought today.
“You… do know what that cashier meant, right?”
“About what?”
“Spice.”
You two had made it to the library easily, the both of you quickly setting the books down to give your arms a break.
“Uhm… about that,” you said with a sheepish look on your face, “not really.”
Your maid seemed to blush lightly at your words as she reached for your hand, “then please excuse me, I don’t know how to tell you this but…”
“But what?”
“The amount of spice in a book correlates to the amount of sexual content it has.”
Your maid broke it down to you as if she was telling you that your pet dog died.
“Hah?”
It took a few moments for your brain to properly register what she had just told you, “HAAAAAAH?!?!?!”
You broke your hand free from her grasp as immediately slapped both of your hands to your burning hot cheeks, “what do you mean?!?!!? Are you telling me that I just b-bought- bought sex books?!”
“Well,” she said, “its not like every single page is specifically sex, but if its super spicy then I can guarantee you that there will probably be a lot of it…”
You crouched down to the floor, your hands falling from your red, hot cheeks as you went to hug yourself. You couldn’t believe this was happening.
You heard of sex, of course, but you never once did it yourself nor do you know how to do it. Hell, even when the other older girls in the hearth started talking about their “experiences” and even how they pleasure themselves alone you would always run out of the room. You always thought that that it was a topic you didn’t need to know, but of course that all changed when you literally got married a mere few days ago. Which, of course, is why you get so nervous every time the word consummate left Capitano’s mouth.
“M'lady?”
She crouched down next to you as she laid her hand on your back as if she was trying to soothe you.
“Yeah?”
“You shouldn’t feel embarrassed. You didn’t know.”
“I know, but if Capitano finds out then that will just be another dumb thing I did that he’ll add to the list… I haven’t exactly been giving him the best impressions you know.”
Your maid patted your back, “don’t worry, he doesn’t have to know.”
Once again, your mind took a few moments to comprehend what she said, “h- huh? You- you aren’t going to tell him that I accidentally bought these types of books?”
Your maid shook her head, “of course not.”
You sniffled a little, “should we- should we take them back?”
Your maid shook her head at that, “to be honest, I think reading about sex will be easier for you than asking someone about it. I mean,” she giggled, “you and Lord Capitano have to consummate the marriage at some point.”
You scoffed, “I can’t believe you’re laughing at me!”
“I’m sorry, but it is kind of funny!”
You huffed and looked away from her causing her to laugh again before patting your back once again, “but I am serious. Reading books like that can at least give you an idea of what to do.”
You sighed and thought it over. As much as you hated to admit it, she was right. You had no one to ask about how to properly have sex with someone and you definitely didn’t want to ask Father or Capitano about it. And you know you would be a laughingstock to the others at the Hearth if you asked them…
Maybe reading about it will help after all? Besides, it would be less embarrassing since it means you wouldn’t have to ask anyone, and as long as Capitano doesn’t find out about it, then you won’t have to crawl under a rock or try to explain yourself on how you accidentally bought some not so safe books.
“So?”
You sighed, “well, it would be better to read then ask about it, I guess…, but please. I’m being for real, don’t tell anyone about my screw up today.”
“Of course, m’lady.”
Right then and there, a new friendship bloomed. You learned that her name was Atri and in return you asked if she would stop calling you m’lady. She said she would, but only when no one else was around. To which you were you happy with.
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@nas-ha @simp-simp-no-mi @emmathecouchpotato4583 @sendria @riotakire @littlekohai77 @lvtuss @kreishin @floffytofu @nastylilcvnt @mikoslightnovels @feral-childs-word @barbatoss-bitch @venicecherryblossom @squirrelboxer @temperamentupgrade @avalordream @immahuman @xavlyzn @greensunflowerjuna @sarah22447 @naviabestgiirl @nevermoresworld @depressedbearblogs @ppancakesforu @0vendettaself @lilyalone @mochiivqi
some say "no blogs found" when I try to add them </3
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jacarandaaaas · 1 month
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Mirabel Madrigal & Creativity:
So something I’ve realized after watching the movie a couple of times now is how mirabels story can easily correlate with the experience of someone creative when you’re only considered of use if you’re academically smart.
Not only do they refer to the magic as “gifts” and “gifted” very common terms associated with people who are considered academically smart but also the fact mirabel is shown as an artist. Our first introduction to her you see her room is plastered in artwork as a 5 year old and even after the prologue you still see she’s kept her artistic side. the thing is mirabel is incredibly talented she draws, she sews, she embroiders, paints, plays the accordion too! These are all incredible talents to possess and yet do we ever see her getting praised for them in the movie? not really. because mirabel doesn’t have a “gift” a literal magic gift yes but also could be interpreted for a creative as academic smarts. Creative thinking is something mirabel possesses and its quite literally the answer in the end but because she’s not smart in the expected way i.e academics she feels she’s not worth as much as others in her family.
I like to think making her an artist was an intentional choice as I know a lot of fellow artists have had people tell us it’s not a “useful” skill to have in the real world. It’s not worth taking the time doing when you could be pursuing medicine or law or something that uses your brain. Even in the ending of the movie mirabel tells them they’re “more than just your gift” which I feel can relate a lot to people who heavily rely on their academic achievements they can forget it’s ok to not do 100% every time and these ridiculous standards are just wearing you down.
So in conclusion I believe mirabels story resonates a lot with the experience of being a creative person but your skills not being seen as valuable. I just love that they made mirabel an artist to show how talented she actually is! she shows that creatives are valued and appreciated and needed and deserve to be encouraged not shot down! so thank you mirabel valentina rojas madrigal for being my favorite artist <3
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kiwisandpearls · 7 months
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here are two doodles I made
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junko (from touhou)
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finally sketched out my oc (her names nora btw)
kay I’m gonna go to bed now
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sailorrhansol · 3 months
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Blood & Popcorn | l.c (m)
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❀ Pairing: Lee Chan x f. Reader 
❀ Summary: Fridays are reserved for watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and stuffing your face with popcorn and pizza. It’s been like that for you and Chan since your freshman year of college. But when he skips your Blood and Popcorn night for a date, things take an unexpected turn. 
❀ Word Count: 11,315
❀ Genre: Friends to Lovers, Angst, Fluff
❀ Type: Smut 
❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging in and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.
❀ Warnings: Literally so much misunderstanding and repressed feelings, pining, light themes of jealousy, recreational drinking, recreational weed use, bad communication skills, some mild insecurities, explicit language, explicit sexual content including unprotected vaginal sex (do not do this lmaooo), nipple stim, light teasing, oral (f. receiving), clumsy/playful sex, jokes/banter while fucking. They’re both down horrendous. Joshua as an almost love interest. Jeonghan is both terrible and great at advice. Alternating POVs and some time skips. 
❀ A/N: This is another work coming from a conversation with @daechwitatamic who at this point, I think had been the driving force behind all three random one shots I’ve written. I apparently can’t say no when she asks for something :) so anyway, here is simp Lee Chan and simp reader because ???? And yes I'm posting this at 11:30 pm at night who cares there are no rules!!!!!!!!
❀ A/N 2: Also thank you to Jo for reading this before hand because it would be otherwise largely illegible. King Julian is on the way, bestie.   
❀ Disclaimer: Disclaimer: All members of Seventeen are faces and name claims for stories. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios. Moreover, none of my works accurately reflect, represent or take a stance on the nuances of Korean culture, cities, people etc. Seventeen members are not Seventeen culturally, intellectually, physically, or representationally in my stories, and should be considered name and face stand-ins for made up characters.
Main Masterlist ❀ Tag List Request Form ❀ Ask ❀ Read Next: Still Watching?
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“So why not Blood and Pizza if pizza is always involved but popcorn isn’t?” Mingyu eyes the french fries on your plate. You give him a warning glance, pointing the sharp tines of your fork at him. He retreats, leaning against the cracked vinyl of the booth, pouting. “Also, the title sounds gross.”
“Good thing it has nothing to do with you then.” 
“Wow, you’re not even going to invite me?” 
“No,” you chirp, popping a shoestring fry into your mouth. You savor the saltiness, humming delightedly. “It’s for me and Chan. Not me, Chan and you. Plus, you know nothing about Buffy.” 
“Isn’t that a magic dragon? And are you sure you two aren’t dating?” 
The look you send Mingyu makes him hold up his hands in surrender. It isn’t the first time someone has asked if you and Chan are dating, and you know it won’t be the last. You don’t want to start down that avenue tonight, trying to navigate the questions of why and well you seem to be a good match. 
If romantic relationships were started over simply having things in common and matching a vibe, you and Chan would have started dating a long time ago. But you’re not, and you’ve already gotten over the fact that you’re not dating and that you will not start dating.
Mostly. 
The bell rings above the diner door, drawing your attention. Like he’s been manifested by Mingyu’s dangerous question, Chan spots you and lifts a hand, a smile splitting his face as he heads over. You scoot over in the booth, dragging your plate along with you to make room for him. 
Chan is dressed in jeans and a green sweater, your favorite color on him. He sits down next to you, cushioned seat dipping a little as he leans over to kiss the top of your head and steal fries off of your plate. You let him, feeling heat flush up the side of your neck as you look anywhere but Mingyu’s accusatory stare.
“These are so good,” Chan says around a mouthful of fries. “Thanks, Bambi.”
You grin at the nickname, trying not to flush too hard. 
“I wouldn’t know,” Mingyu says pointedly. You ignore him, shoving your burger in your mouth. “Apparently I’m not allowed fries or to attend your movie night.”
“Order your own fries,” Chan says. 
“Ugh. I already ate mine.”
“So order more, idiot. And of course you’re not invited to Blood and Popcorn. That’s our thing.” 
Our thing. 
The corner of your mouth twitches as you glance at Chan. He doesn’t notice, catching the eyes of the server and waving happily, giving her a broad smile. She gives him a thumbs up in return, confirming she’ll put in his usual now that he’s there. 
There are a lot of things that belong to you and Chan. Studying at the very diner you were sitting in during freshman year had been one of them, though now in your final year there’s not as much of a need to study and you’ve incorporated other friends in your late night trips for grease and calories. 
You also shared trivia nights on Tuesdays with Vernon and Seungkwan, football Sundays with Seungcheol, Mingyu and Jeonghan, once a month family dinners with everyone, and most importantly, Blood and Popcorn. 
Chan steals another fry off of your plate and you let him, leaning back in the booth. Mingyu glares daggers at you, dark eyes flicking from your plate, to you, to Chan. You grin around a mouthful of cheeseburger and he scoffs before looking away. 
Behind you, Chan’s arm stretches across the back of the booth, just barely brushing against the top of your shoulders. Your stomach flips a little, momentarily elated at the contact before you swallow it down with Sprite, pretending it wasn’t there in the first place. 
The two boys immediately fall into a conversation about their shared engineering class. You tune it out easily, a learned habit over the last four years of having to listen to Chan tell you the functions of a bridge and the best way to design one. Instead, you focus on the rise and fall of Chan’s soft voice and the way it lulls you into a state of calm. 
When the server brings over his order, he pulls his arm from over the back of the seat. Immediately you snatch one of the onion rings from his basket, popping one into your mouth and hissing as the crispy snack burns you. He shakes his head, laughing as he gives you a napkin while you sputter.
“Careful, Bambi,” he murmurs. “They’re literally steaming.” 
Mingyu reaches for an onion ring, only to be threatened with the blunt end of Chan’s steak knife. “Don’t even think about it.”
“But she-”
“Bambi has special privileges,” Chan quips. “Order yourself some more fries for the love of God. I’ll pay for them.” 
Mingyu immediately stops whining, mood improving markedly as he orders fries, wiggling in his seat happily. Chan cuts his burger in half, asking, “Why were you talking about Blood and Popcorn anyway?” 
“Shua asked Bambi out on a date,” Mingyu answers around a mouthful of fries. “She told him she couldn’t go because of Blood and Popcorn.”
Chan stops eating and looks at you, brows creasing. You feel your heart rate speed up as you kick Mingyu under the table. He yelps, knee jerking upward to slam against the underside of the table. The salt and pepper shakers rattle in place as Mingyu bends over to rub his shin. 
“He didn’t ask me out on a date.”
“He asked you to dinner!”
“As friends!”
“Oh yeah,” Mingyu snorts, rolling his eyes. “Friends take friends to fucking prime steakhouses. He asked you out on a date.” 
For a moment, silence envelops the table. You stare at your fries, watching Chan out of your periphery. He looks away from you, wiping the grease from his fingers onto the napkin. The air feels pregnant with tension suddenly, your anxiety bubbling as you open your mouth to assert once more it wasn’t a date.
Chan beats you to breaking the silence, “We can skip this Friday so you can go!”
You open and close your mouth a few times, heart dropping to your ass. “What?”
“It’s totally fine if we have to skip. I don’t mind.” 
Chan picks his burger back up, not looking at you. Heart pounding in your chest, you can’t help but watch him in total silence, trying to string together a response. Sure, maybe Chan doesn’t mind if you miss your weekly solo hangout. But you care. 
The ache of the implication cuts you suddenly, a delayed reaction. You feel your throat tighten painfully, reaching for your Sprite to try and swallow past the sudden tension. It does nothing to quell the way the casual dismissal of your tradition keeps cutting you long after he’s said the words, sawing down to the bone. 
“I wasn’t aware that we could just skip Blood and Popcorn, I guess.” 
“I mean if you’ve got a date.” 
That’s not the point, you want to scream at him. 
Chan is a lot of things. Perceptive isn’t one of them. If he had been, you know he would have sniffed out your feelings for him a long time ago. Luckily for you, he’s remained completely oblivious over the last four years of your friendship, and you like to keep it that way. Keep it safe. 
Nothing ruins a friendship more than unrequited romance. You know that from more than just the media you consume - you’ve seen more than once first hand when one friend catches feelings for the others but the desire isn’t mutual. 
It isn’t mutual here. It’s always been very clear where Chan’s interests lie, and you’re totally fine with that. You accept the relationship that you have happily and quietly, and thought moments like are a brutal reminder of where you stand, it’s alright because you also love your friendship. More than you love him - at least, you think so. 
So when Chan so easily suggests to go on a date, to cancel your thing with him to accommodate, you know it isn’t because he doesn’t care. He just thinks that you should go on a date because it doesn’t occur to him that the real reason you don’t want to is because your interests are somewhere else. That you don’t want to cancel Blood and Popcorn because it’s for the two of you and no one else. 
“Yeah,” you rasp, unsure what else to say. “Um, maybe.” 
“Shua is a good guy.” 
“Yeah. Yeah he is.” 
Mingyu and Chan go back to their conversation about class. You finish your meal in silence, leaning back against the seat as your thoughts wander listlessly. You gaze around the diner, drinking in detail as their conversation becomes background noise and you can no longer understand what they’re saying. 
Rounders Diner had been a staple in the college community long before you were born, and continues to be the center for academic life. Students fill the booths sipping on milkshakes as they cram for exams or homework, night shift workers sit at the countertop and order coffee before heading to work, and the jukebox in the corner glows neon, only offering a selection of music from the 50s. 
Behind the countertop is an open scratch kitchen, the sound of sizzling grease and yelled orders bracketing an Elvis song you know the words to but don’t know the name of. Black and white tile flooring with years worth of scuffs reflect the canned lighting in the ceiling. Over near the entrance is a wall covered in pictures of students of note throughout the years. 
You remember the first time Chan had hauled you to Rounders. It was the first day you’d met, two freshmen absolutely terrified of the world after experiencing two back to back intro courses together. The dining hall was on the opposite side of campus from your classes, but Chan had insisted there was a diner just off the corner that everyone said was a necessary experience. 
He was the first real friend you made. Your roommates had become your best friends too, Lorna and Mai splashed across almost every memory you have of college. But that first day is only colored with Chan, who had slid into the seat across from you and looked around the diner with a bright grin like he was suddenly at home. 
Wanna start coming here after class? 
You did. And you had. 
A hand waves in front of your face, making you blink several times before Chan’s face swims into focus. Your thoughts are a little delayed as you drink him in: dark hair framing dark, angular eyes that turn molten brown when the sun hits them just right, a jawline that has turned sharper as he’s aged, though his cheeks still have a youthful softness that you adore, and a grin that makes the world dim. 
“What?” you ask him, totally at a loss for words. 
He laughs and you feel the corners of your lips turn upward, an automatic response to his mirth. “I asked if you were ready to go.” 
You look up to see Mingyu at the register, passing over the bill and a card. “I think I spaced out. I thought you were buying him fries?”
He snorts. “Never fear, it’s my card. Everything okay?” 
You hesitate. Not for the first time, the urge to spill your guts to him grips you so forcefully that you almost do right in the middle of Rounders. Almost tell him everything from start to finish, the feelings, the reason you don’t want to date Joshua, how beautiful you think Chan is-
Mingyu starts heading back and you force a grin on your face, bumping his shoulder with yours. “Of course. A little tired, though. Thanks for dinner.” 
“You know I’ve got you.” He gets up from the booth and holds his hand out to you. “Always.” 
-
Chan is the stupidest fucking person he knows. He lets out a loud scream into the warmth of his pillow, squeezing his eyes shut as he lays face down in his bed. His arms are shoved under the pillow, fisting in his sheets as the long-winded scream finally begins to die out. 
“Yes, that is healthy,” Seungkwan calls from Chan’s desk against the window. “Let the pillow know everything that you’re feeling.” 
Scowling, Chan lifts his head up and looks over his shoulder at where Seungkwan is sitting. His roommate is hunched over Chan’s laptop, a document open on the screen as he clicks around rapidly, cursing under his breath. 
“Why are you in here again?”
“My literature professor is a dinosaur,” Seungkwan answers. “And only accepts printed essay submissions.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.”
“No, I mean you don’t have your own printer?” 
“No, and I will not be paying thirty cents a paper for an essay that is almost thirty pages long.” 
“That’s like, nine dollars dude. Also, why is your essay thirty pages long?”
“Ask the dude who wrote Beowulf.” 
“Isn’t that like… a movie?” 
Seungkwan mutters something under his breath. The printer chimes, followed by a mechanic whirring as the paper feeds into the machine and starts printing. Spinning in the chair, Seungkwan looks at where Chan is still laying stomach down, face squished against his pillow as he cradles it. 
“Speaking of movies - are you having Blood and Popcorn here or at Bambi’s?” 
Chan can’t help but smirk at the nickname. It had stuck ever since your freshman year when you’d called Rin Hartford a bambi-eyed bitch for saying nasty things to Mingyu. He thinks that night might be the night he realized he was absolutely head over heels for you, even if he had only known you for two weeks then. 
Despite your quiet disposition, you’ve always been the epitome of bravery. He can’t recall a time that you haven’t said what you meant or meant what you said, and defending your friends and speaking up has always been paramount to you. 
For someone like Chan who was often the youngest and the softest spoken in any group he was in, you were a breath of fresh air. And you’ve taught him to speak up for himself, letting him grow comfortable pushing back with people - especially his friends - and how to give back what he gets. 
Corrupted, Seungcheol joked once. She corrupted him and taught him how to bully us back. 
“I’m not really sure,” Chan says slowly, thinking about your conversation at the diner, the exact source of his pillow-scream. “We might not be doing it.”
“Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?”
“There is no paradise. We’re just friends.” 
“That’s the trouble I’m talking about, brother.” Seungkwan turns around to start collecting the pages out of the printer. “Is the Blood and Popcorn cancellation the reason for your pillow screaming?” 
“I don’t know that it’s canceled.” 
“That really clarifies the issue.”
Chan scowls. “Did you know Shua was into her?” 
“Uh, yeah.”
“He asked her on a date.”
“Joshua must have got tired of waiting for you to make a move on Bambi. I guess he decided you weren’t going to.” 
Chan frowns and sits up. He didn’t realize Joshua remotely had a thing for you, and while Chan adores the older member of their larger friend group, the thought of him taking you to dinner - a date - makes his stomach tighten. 
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” Seungkwan clarifies. “That you have had the last four years to nut up or shut up. Everyone has waited for you to make your move on Bambi and you haven’t. If you’re not going to do it, someone else might as well.” 
“I mean, anyone could ask her out. It’s not like I have-”
“Don’t you dare say you didn’t have dibs. Dibs can be unspoken, Chan. You’ve been in love with that girl since freshman year, if you think people - especially our friends - cannot tell and don’t respect you enough to give you time to ask her out, you need to wake up.” 
“It’s that obvious?” 
“Not to her, clearly.” Seungkwan stands and grins at Chan placidly, his essay collected in his hands. “Fortunately for you, the only person who is as dumb as you are is Bambi. Match made in heaven, really.” 
Chan chews his bottom lip. That offers a little bit of relief. He doesn’t like knowing that his feelings are so obvious to everyone else, but at least you don’t know. He cannot imagine how uncomfortable it would make your friendship dynamic knowing he was mooning over you while you just saw him as a friend. 
“Well, she doesn’t feel that way about me. I’m not going to confess my unrequited feelings and put her in that position to deal with them. It wouldn’t be fair.” 
Seungkwan gives Chan a slow blink, smile turning plastic. “Like I said. Match made in heaven.” 
Heaving a sigh, Chan throws himself on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Chan was certainly an idiot for a lot of reasons, but the biggest reason has to be the way he has let his feelings for you fester since freshman year. Instead of implementing preventative maintenance, he’s let the problem grow to the point that his friends are no longer waiting for him to do something about it. 
The window of opportunity is gone. 
Not that there was a window of opportunity to begin with. Chan has seen what it looks like when you’re interested in guys - dazed eyes, a little flustered, a tiny grin on your face. You’ve never looked at him that way. At least, not really like that. You smile at him all the time, but it’s different. 
If he had the slightest indication you looked at him like you were interested, he’d have spilled his feelings a long time ago. Hiding this from you feels almost like a violation of friendship, but in order to preserve the friendship and keep you comfortable, he does what he must. 
The memory of him telling you to go on a date with Joshua makes him  groan in embarrassment. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, seeing stars explode behind his lids. It had been a knee jerk response, something to distract you from the immediate jealousy and panic he’d felt that moment that Mingyu had dropped that bit of information at the table.
Mingyu. That motherfucker did it on purpose - not to rile Chan, but to try and  give him a kick in the ass toward the right direction. But like everyone else, Mingyu doesn’t get it. If Chan told you how he felt just to get it off of his chest, it would be putting his burden on you. You’d be the one who had to feel guilty for it being unrequited, you’d be the one who would inevitably feel uncomfortable or out of place. 
No. It would be the highest form of selfishness he can think of, offloading the heavy weight of his feelings just to give them to you as a reprieve from carrying them around so long. 
Chan blinks away the swimming colors, staring up at the popcorn ceiling of his bedroom again. He can hear Seungkwan singing somewhere in the apartment, liquid voice calming even in Chan’s mild state of distress. 
Joshua is a good guy. Honestly, there are only a few guys that Chan knows who would make a suitable partner for you, and he begrudgingly acknowledges that Joshua is at the top of that list. And yet he still feels a twist of self-loathing that he had pushed you so quickly towards it, the regret like bile in his stomach. 
The last thing Chan wants to do is skip Blood and Popcorn this week. It is the one guaranteed day of uninterrupted time with you, and he waved it away like it meant nothing to him, which could not be farther from the truth. The nights of watching Buffy and eating pizza and sometimes popcorn mean everything to him. 
He just wishes he had been brave enough to stand his ground. 
-
Maybe Joshua Hong is the worst person ever. Chan dismisses the irrational thought as soon as he has it. Joshua isn’t awful at all. It’s just that he’s leaning in toward you and saying something into your ear over the loud din of the party, and Chan watches the way you nod. 
Crack. The plastic cup in his hand splits and immediately spills rum and coke all over the kitchen floor. Jeonghan starts yelling at him, ripping paper towels off of the roll and throwing them in Chan’s direction. He mutters an apology, gaze drifting over the kitchen counter to the living room where you’re laughing, head tilted back, warm light splaying across your throat-
“Ya! Don’t just let it pool at your feet!”
Jeonghan’s screech brings Chan back to life. He snatches the copious amounts of paper towels Jeonghan has thrown at him and starts to soak up the drink. The tile floor is already sticky and Chan cringes. No way have either Jeonghang or Seungcheol cleaned this floor any time recently. If anything, Chan has done it a favor. 
The party is in full swing around him. He stands up with the soaked paper in his hand, tossing it into the trash and grabbing more while Jeonghan digs underneath the counter. Chan finishes soaking up the spilled drink and comes eye to eye with a new set of paper towels and spray cleaner. 
Chan gives Jeonghan the soaked papers. “Jeonghan, your floor is already disgusting.”
“Then you should have no problem cleaning it!” 
“Sure, Mom.” 
“Don’t call me that!”
He rolls his eyes but does what Jeonghan says, spraying the area quickly and pressing down the paper towels. They come away sticky and black, making him cringe in disgust before tossing them out and washing his hands. As he turns off the faucet, Jeonghan has the decency to hand him a new drink.
Chan takes it without comment, the image of Joshua leaning into you a little too much for him to deal with right now. He drains the cup, sputtering a little. Jeonghan is a heavy pour and the spiced rum goes down rough, his eyes tearing just a little as he finishes the drink. 
“Well, that’s one way to stop from spilling.” Chan shoots Jeonghan a look before reaching for the mixer and handle of rum again. “You do normally drink like a fish, but anything in particular driving tonight’s thirst?” 
“Nope.”
“Right, so it’s not tall, dark and handsome hanging out with Bambi?”
Chan feels his eye twitch as he heavily pours the liquor into his cup. “Nope. And Joshua isn’t even that tall.” 
“Taller than you.” Chan shoots Jeonghan a venomous look. His face is beatific, grin a little bit dangerous as he holds his hands up in a white flag. “You look pretty bothered. If only there were a way to fix that.” Chan looks at Jeonghan with wide eyes, hope surging for a moment. “Just tell her you like her.” 
“Why is that the only advice any of you have?”
“Because it’s the only advice I have. Either tell her or get over your feelings. Those are your options.” 
“And I’ve already told you, it would just make her uncomfortable. It’s not her burden to bear.” 
Jeongan taps his fingers on the countertop, studying Chan. Chan pouts into his cup, taking long draughts, trying not to cringe at the strong taste. He can already sense the oncoming buzz and he welcomes it, needing a little something to distract him from the obvious elephant in the living room. 
“Alright,” Jeognhan relents. “Then deal with the consequences and get over your feelings.” 
And he will. Chan has always been good at dealing with the repercussions of hiding his feelings, and he does them well. So he tips back the cup and rejoins the party, nerves steeled and ready to deal with the consequences like his friends keep telling him to. 
-
“What?” you asked, lifting your voice to be heard over the rowdy game of cards at the coffee table. Joshua had asked you something but the words had been lost on you as your gaze drifted to Chan where he was leaning against the wall, talking to a girl you didn’t know. He was leaning awfully close. “I didn’t catch that.” 
Joshua smiles. He really is handsome, and everything someone could want in a partner. He’s kind and gentle, has a little bit of an insane streak, and he is incredibly intelligent and loyal. So why do you feel nothing when he grins at you or laughs? 
Your eyes drift over to Chan again and you feel your stomach flip. The alcohol turns to lead. The girl Chan is speaking to is so close to him, both of them turned toward one another as he ducks his head down to say something to her. She laughs and he smiles, looking her up and down.
Jealousy swallows you whole. It roars so loudly in your ears that you almost miss Joshua’s question again. “Did you give any thoughts about dinner on Friday?” 
Dinner? Friday? Oh right. He had asked you to dinner on Friday, but you’d declined due to your planned Blood and Popcorn night. With Chan. Who is flirting with the girl next to him, who is flirting back. 
The jealousy feels like a raw, rotten thing. It turns the alcohol in your stomach sour, makes the sweat on the back of your neck feel too much, like the room is too loud and too full. Even as the envy rears its head, an ugly beast ready to unleash, you turn to Joshua and say, “I really can’t. Friday nights are really important to me.” 
Joshua looks disappointed, but he’s polite enough to nod and smile. “I understand. Maybe a different night?”
“Um, maybe. Would you excuse me? I really need some air.” 
You stand abruptly, starling the people next to you. The cup in your hand shakes a little and your throat constricts and oh god. You cannot cry in the middle of a party just because you’re a little buzzed and the boy you like is across the room with another girl. 
“Do you want me to-”
“No!” You quip, shaking your head. “Totally fine, I’m so fine, I just need some air. Please! Sit! Stay!” 
Joshua raises his eyebrows at your frantic commands and you give a laugh that is a little on the hysterical side as you step over the legs of people sitting on the floor and on the couch. Joshua calls after you as you make the escape but you don’t turn around, eager to get out of the room. 
You trip over someone’s foot and nearly launch into a passerby as you go. Strong hands steady you before you totally topple over, though your drink sloshes over the edge of your cup, spilling it on the carpet. 
“What is it with you and your other half?” You look up to realize that it’s Jeonghan who stabilized you. “Spilling drinks all over my damn floor!”
“It probably helps. Your floors are disgusting.”
“Ya! That’s beside the point - why do you look like you’re about to die?”
“I feel like I might. I need fresh air.”  For a moment, Jeonghan looks confused. You watch his dark brows pull together and he looks over your head, dark gaze scanning for something. For Chan, you realize. It’s usually Chan who leaves with you if you need air or need to stick your head in a bucket to vomit. The realization hits you like a brick. “Not him,” you whisper. “I’m fine.” 
Your words land at the same time Jeonghan focuses in the direction you’d last seen Chan. He holds you there, suspended in time for a moment as his eyes dart between you and back to where you know Chan is still leaning against the wall. 
There is a flicker of something that you cannot place in Jeonghan’s gaze before it softens and he nods. He pulls you toward him and helps guide you around the groups of people. “Fresh air it is.”
“You don’t have to come.”
“I don’t know, crying alone is kind of lame, Bambi.”
Cool air hits you the second you step onto the porch. Soonyoung is sitting on the railing with Jihoon and Vernon leaning next to him. He waves enthusiastically when he sees you, breaking out into a grin and lifting the joint between his fingers, an offer. You shake your head and he shrugs, passing it to Vernon who lifts a hand in salute. 
The smell of weed chases you down the grass slope of Jeonghan’s backyard. It’s not so much a backyard as it is open to the apartment community’s lake. The spray of the fountain grows louder as the sounds of the party fade. 
Jeonghan sits down in the grass, leaning back on his hands. You join him, cringing at the dampness from the dewey grass. Taking in a deep breath you close your eyes and lean your head back, letting the wind cool the sweat on your overheated skin. The breeze mists the fountain, tiny specks of water tingling on your face as you sit in silence. 
Behind your lids, you can see the image of Chan leaning in toward that girl. The intimacy of the space. You hate how you can recall it in such detail - you’d always been able to remember details where Chan was involved. Like the way he was wearing a black, long-sleeved tee that pulled against his chest and arms perfectly, or the way the necklace you bought him two years ago glinted in the light of the living room, or the way-
“I did it to myself, huh?” you ask, feeling the first tear collect on your lash line. You tilt your head upward, trying to blink it rapidly away. “I could have just told him a while ago.” 
“Well, I don’t think you’re entirely responsible,” Jeonghan mutters. “Look, putting your heart on your sleeve is really scary, especially when it’s to someone you really value. But you have to decide what to do. You can either tell Chan you love him or you can decide to get over it. You can’t cling to unspoken feelings, though.”
“I just… I don't feel like he returns the feelings and I don’t want to ruin what we have.”
“Then get over him.” You snap your gaze at Jeonghan, who is looking at you with the cool and calm you wish you felt. “If you’re unwilling to be honest with him, then your option is to get over it.” 
“Do you think he would… react poorly?”
“Of course not, but I will not speak to all of Chan’s feelings. Those are his to share, not mine, and I believe in the sanctity of acting on one’s own.”
“You sound so… saintly.”
“Dealing with all your problems has turned me into a saint. Do you know what it’s like being therapy to all of these damn people? You all take ‘door open’ a little too seriously.”
You laugh, feeling a little lighter. Pulling at the grass, you sigh. “You’re right, though. I either need to just tell him or let it go. I can’t just… suffer.”
“If only you’d come to that conclusion a while ago.”
“Bleh.” 
Fresh air and the weight of Jeonghan’s words weigh down on you. You know that he’s right. Though you’re confident that Chan doesn’t return your feelings, you don’t explicitly know because you’ve never asked. And if you never ask, you’ll never know. 
Calm settles over you as you decide your course of action. Blood and Popcorn is in two days - you can bring it up then. 
Nodding to yourself, you pluck more grass out of the ground. “Alright,” you tell Jeonghan, heaving a sigh. “Thanks, Mom.” 
“Ugh, you two! Don’t call me that!”
-
Hands shaking, you stare at your phone. You’ve had two days to mentally prepare for this evening and yet when you look at your phone, you think two days was not remotely enough to prepare for this evening. You haven’t spoken to Chan at all about what time you want to have your weekly hangout, but that’s not unusual. 
The only thing unusual is your hesitation to hit the call button and ask what time he wants to come over. It’s such a simple thing - you don’t need to confess your feelings to him right now. But the anticipation of what inviting him over means and the possible disaster it can bring makes your fingers shaky. 
Instead of hitting dial, you take one deep breath and let it out slowly. In slowly again, and-
Your phone starts ringing before you can finish the exhale. Your heart pounds in your throat when you see Chan’s name flash across your screen. For a few seconds there is pure panic, but you manage to collect yourself and slide your thumb across the screen. It takes a few tries, your hands clammy with anxiety as you answer. 
“Hi!”
“Don’t kill me,” Chan immediately says on the other side of the line. You pause, cocking your head. 
“Why would I do that?” 
“I have to raincheck on Blood and Popcorn tonight.”
“Oh no, are you sick? Do you need me to bring anything over? Is Seungkwan-”
Chan laughs on the other side of the phone and your stomach flutters helplessly. You hear the creak of bed springs and you know he’s sitting on his bed. He has the world’s creakiest bed. “I’m not sick.”
“Oh.” 
You frown, sitting down on your couch and folding your legs. There’s nothing else you can think of that Chan would cancel Blood and Popcorn for, so illness had seemed like the first rational thing. You feel a little embarrassed at immediately trying to take care of him, but push it away to ask, “What’s up?” 
“I have a date. Tonight is the only night she was available for like two weeks. She’s in her first year of law school so her availability sucks.” 
It feels like the air vanishes from the room. You lean back against the backrest on the couch, deflated. You hold the phone to your ear, but don’t feel the weight of it in your hand. The TV across the living room becomes a blur, the muted program in the background unrecognizable. 
A date. Chan has a date. That he’s willing to cancel your night for. 
You think back to that night at the diner when he told you to just go out with Joshua instead of doing Blood and Popcorn. How easily he pushed it aside. Like it was unimportant. Easily missed. 
“Bambi?” Chan’s voice sounds distant through the roar of your emotions. “You there? The cell service in your apartment is so shitty.” 
“I’m here.” 
“Oh good. Sorry to miss, please don’t kill me. We can add two days of Blood and Popcorn next week to make up for it?”
“Yeah. Uh. Yeah.” 
There’s a pause. “Are you okay?”
“Definitely.” Lie. “Sorry, I just woke up from a nap and I’m a little spacy.” Lie. “No problems here. I’m not mad. Enjoy your date.” Lie. 
“Thanks, I’ll let you know how it goes after!” 
“For sure.” 
When Chan hangs up the phone, you think that Jeonghan was right. Crying alone is lame. 
-
Chan can’t do this. 
Sol isn’t the problem - at least not directly. She is beautiful and funny, sharp as a whip and has an edge to her that he loves in women. She is successful, has goals, and she’s sensible. And she’s into him, which is perhaps the biggest plus of all. 
But she isn’t you. Sol’s biggest problem is that she’s not you, and it’s not really her problem at all. It is Chan’s and Chan’s alone, and he cannot sit through this date anymore. He’s tried for the last hour already, asking all of the right questions and laughing at all the right places, but he cannot stop the way he wonders if you’re watching buffy. He cannot help but wonder if you’re in those expensive pajamas you like, drinking inexpensive wine from the corner story, his favorite contrast. 
Chan cannot stop thinking that his button up is a little too tight on his chest and the uncomfortable way his new shoes rub his ankle. He’d rather be in a tee and shorts, freshly showered and stretched out. He cannot stop blinking his eyes, hating the way one of his contacts is irritating him, wishing instead to be in glasses and the lowlight of your apartment. 
From the moment he ended that call with you to cancel Blood and Popcorn, all he’s felt is dread. Dread for the upcoming date with someone he should be excited about, dread for telling you how it goes, dread for having to be in public with people and to get to know someone, dread at what happens at the end of the date, does he have to kiss her? Does he have to go get ice cream? What does he do-
“Are you okay?” Sol’s raspy voice draws him from his thoughts - not for the first time that night. She’s leaning back in her seat, dark eyes pinning him to the spot. She is as sharp as she is beautiful, and normally someone like Sol would make him trip over his feet. “You zoned out.”
“I apologize, that was rude of me.”
“It was,” she agrees. She swirls the wine in her glass, looking him up and down before giving him a sympathetic smile. “I won’t be offended if you want to call this off early.” 
“What?”
“You’re not interested,” she asserts. Confident. Self-assured. “It’s totally okay if it’s not working for you.” 
Heat crawls up the side of Chan’s neck. He runs his sweaty palms over his slacks. “I am so sorry,” he says earnestly. “This sounds so stupid to say, but it is me, it isn’t you.”
“No offense, but I know. You’ve been distracted since we got here. You obviously have something or someone else on your mind.” 
“That easy to read, huh?”
“Open book. I have some pride, though. Let’s pay the bill?”
“I’m sorry.”
Her grin is polite. Understanding. “Don’t be. You’re cute and nice, but I cannot suffer knowing your mind isn’t on me.” 
“Understandable.” 
Chan knows he’s lucky. Anyone else a little less level-headed or less confident might have made him suffer. As it is, Sol does let him suffer a little, sliding the bill over to him with a knowing grin. He likes Sol - not like he likes you, but she’s good people. 
“Promise me one thing?” Sol asks before ducking into her Uber. “It’ll help my pride.”
“Sure.”
“Go spend the rest of the evening with whoever it is and make sure you tell them how you feel. It’ll be worth it, that way.”
Chan grins. “Alright. I promise.”
And he does intend to hold to that promise. Something about tonight is different. He can feel it as he walks quickly to his car, undoing the top button of his shirt as he goes. The air is crisp and there are still a few streaks of orange in the night sky, the sun long gone. 
Chan calls you as he turns his car onto the road, heading toward your apartment on the northside of down. He drums his fingers along the steering wheel, buzzing with nervous and excited energy as the line rings. When you don’t pick up, he ends the call. 
Jeonghan was right - he usually is. Chan could either tell you how he feels or live with the consequences, and he’s decided he cannot live with the consequences. He cannot sit across the table from someone who isn’t you and pretend that he isn’t wondering what you’re doing. He cannot look at the curve of someone else’s mouth and wonder what it would be like if it were yours. 
The date had been spurred by the intense wave of jealousy and inadequacy he felt at Jeonghan’s party when he saw you sitting on the couch with Joshua. He has no idea how else he would have had the confidence to start chatting up someone as commanding as Sol, but he was powered by rum and a wounded heart. 
Stupid. It was stupid, he realizes now. He has been stupid so many times regarding you and for long enough that even Joshua, the most polite of his friends, felt like they could respectfully intercept you, now. 
Well, perhaps you will choose Joshua instead. Chan is fine with that. What you want has always been paramount to him. But if you choose Joshua, it will be with the knowledge that Chan loves you and he always has. 
Steeling himself, he gets out of the car at your apartment complex and looks up at the building. He can see the lights on in your living room, confirming you’re still home and probably watching Buffy. The thought sends a thrill through him and he smiles, shaking his head and taking a deep breath.
“You’ve got this, Lee Chan,” he tells himself. “You’ve got this.” 
-
A loud knock on your door startles you. You finish blowing your nose in the issue, trying to suck up the rest of your tears. Pulling the sleeves of your sweater - Chan’s sweater - over your hands, you wipe your face with sweater paws, trying to erase some evidence of your tears before having to face the delivery person. 
Grabbing the bills on the counter, you wonder how many people delivering food have seen people answer the door while crying or immediately after crying. Honestly, they’ve probably seen all types of strange situations, which makes you feel a little bit about answering the door after very clearly sobbing. 
Unlatching the top and flipping the deadbolt, you yank the door open, prepared to not make eye contact to make it a little less awkward for you and the person just trying to hand you pizza and soda, except- 
“Chan?” 
It is Chan standing outside of your door. You blink in surprise, giving him a quick once over. He looks really nice, dressed in slacks and a black button up shirt that is a little too tight across the chest - not that you’re complaining - and the top of the buttons undone to reveal the necklace you gifted him. His dark hair has styling product in it, pushing it out of his face, save for a small rebel strand that hangs over his eyebrow. 
Chan looks… beautiful. You’re suddenly very aware that you’re in his sweatshirt and sweatpants, face swollen from crying, nose a little snotty and looking worse for wear. 
“What are you doing here?”
“Why are you crying?” 
Chan pushes his way into your apartment and you let him, dropping your arm as he passes by. He shuts the door for you, flipping the latch and lock out of habit as he turns to you. He reaches out to grab you by the shoulders but you back up a little, suddenly terrified of his touch. 
He notices. “Why are you crying?” he asks again, dark brows knitted and mouth twisted in a frown. “Talk to me.” 
“Aren’t you supposed to be on a date?” 
“Left early, wasn’t working. What’s going on?” 
You swallow thickly, realizing you’re at a crossroads. Silence stretches between you as he waits for your answer, looking at you with so much concern that you begin to crack. The tension in your throat returns, the telltale sign of tears and you ball your fists, nails digging into your palms.
A torrent of feelings bombard you. Anger. Hurt. Desire. Relief. Hurt again. 
“You canceled Blood and Popcorn.” 
Chan opens and closes his mouth, head cocking to the side a little bit. He looks mystified, trying to put together the pieces to the puzzle. “I don’t understand.”
“You canceled Blood and Popcorn for something else. For someone else.” 
“I-” 
A series of emotions flit over his face. You feel your heart pounding wildly in your chest as you watch each one, trying to catch them as they go. Confusion. Thoughtfulness. Confusion. Realization. You watch as he drinks you in, the tears, the wet stains from crying on the shirt, your words. Slowly, Chan puts the pieces together for the entire picture, and his face becomes so soft that you nearly cringe. 
“Oh, Bambi.” 
“You can date whoever you want, you’re not mine,” you punch out, wiping a tear as it escapes your eye. Feeling small, you back away from him a little, breaking eye contact. “But it hurts when you shove me aside like that. Look, I know we’re friends, but-”
“Bambi,” he says gently. You’re not looking at him, but you know that tone. The pleading. He’s begging you to stop, you think, but if you don’t get this out now you never will. 
“Blood and Popcorn is important to me. You’re important to me. I know you’ve never seen me as more than a friend, but Chan-”
Chan interrupts you again. This time though, it’s by crashing against you. You nearly topple over onto the coffee table with the force of it, but you cling to him, digging your hands into the meat of his biceps to hold yourself to him. His hands press into the small of your back, sending a bolt of electricity to you that you can’t pay any attention to, because Chan presses his mouth against yours softly, stealing all of your thoughts.
For a second, your brain goes static. You’re so stunned you don’t do anything but cling to him, vacantly aware that the softness of his lips are on yours. Tentative. Questioning. 
Chan pulls away and your eyes flutter open. He is only an inch away from your face, his minty breath fanning your lips as he begins to apologize, panic on his face. You interrupt him this time, surging forward to crash your lips to his, far less gentle than he had been the first time. 
The box you’ve shoved every feeling for Chan cracks open. You feel everything pour out of it, a steady stream of want as you press into him. He smells like teakwood and mint, hypnotizing you. His mouth is soft and eager, sucking gently against your bottom lip. 
Everything feels lighter, like gravity has lost all meaning. Chan pulls away from your mouth a little, close enough to brush your lips against his in a feather-light kiss, but enough to gaze down at you through half lidded eyes. 
“The date didn’t work out because I kept thinking of you,” he whispers, voice shaking. You feel your breath stop as he speaks, each word sinking in. “It was stupid to ask her out. I was feeling insecure about Joshua asking you out, and it was stupid and petty-”
You kiss him again. He smiles into the kiss, letting you lead him, slow and lazy. You feel his tongue brush against the seam of your lips and you eagerly let him in, toes curling as he licks into your mouth. 
“I just want you,” Chan admits, breaking away for a quick breath of air. He presses his lips against the corner of your mouth, your jaw, your cheek. He peppers your face in them as his hands skate up your back, hot even through the material of his sweatshirt. “I have for so long and I’ve been so afraid to tell you.”
“I was afraid too.” 
“I have wasted so much time.” His hands cradle your face, turning you to look at him. 
Chan is so earnest. Raw honestly glitters in his eyes. Deeper, hiding beneath the surface is something a little darker and more intense. Want. Desire. Something that lingers, waiting for you to call it forward. You love him so much that in that moment you almost cry more, feeling overwhelmed with everything you’ve buried down for years. 
“I want to make up for it,” you whisper, stealing a kiss that is more teeth than anything. He makes a noise in the back of his throat. Your hands sink to his waist, gripping at the fabric of his shirt. “I was actually going to tell you tonight, before you canceled.”
“What a stupid man I am.”
You smirk a little. “Yes.” 
“Let me apologize,” he murmurs, voice low. You feel yourself shiver as he pushes you toward your room, connecting your mouths again. The kiss is messy and needy, so different than the one moments before. You tangle together, stumbling toward your room. “I’ll make it up to you.” 
“Oh?” 
The crash landing onto your mattress is not graceful. Chan’s full weight falls on top of you and your foreheads smack a little. You yelp in paint and Chan groans, burying his face in your neck. You can’t help the laughter that bubbles to the surface, exploding out of you as your hands press flat on his back, soothing as you hold him to you.
“First step of apologizing,” you wheeze under him. “Give her a concussion.” 
“I’m sorry,” he says, burying his face further in embarrassment. “I’m a little eager.” 
His breath tickles your neck, making you squirm under him. He seems to notice, opting to press open-mouthed kisses against your throat. You hum, eyelids fluttering at the stimulation. “It’s okay,” you breathe, fingers turning to claws against his back. “It’s cute.”
Chan leans off of you, properly supporting himself with arms on either side of your head, caging you in. His knee slots between your legs, making your stomach leap in excitement as he scoots it up a little, almost pressing against you. 
“You’re cute,” he notes, kisses getting messy as they go up your neck toward your ear. He nips your ear and you let out a sound. His laughter is warm against you and you shiver. “You’re in my clothes.”
“I wear them all the time.”
He groans. “I know. Fuck I know.”
“Is that what does it for you?” You move your hands from his back to his waist, pulling the tucked shirt from the waistband of his slacks. His hips twitch forward, excited. He busies his mouth with pressing wet kisses to your jaw. “Me in your clothes?”
“Everything does it for me. I am down horrendous for you.” 
“I really didn’t know.”
He moves a hand to pull at the collar of his sweatshirt, exposing more of your collarbones to him as he kisses. “Everyone else did,” he assures you. You hiss when he bites down and licks over the sting, looking up through dark lashes to gauge your reaction. You nod a little and he grins, doing it again. “Biting. Got it.” 
With trembling fingers, you work the buttons on his shirt. You steal touches as you go, greedy for him. Too long have you hidden what you want in the shadows, too long have you resisted this. Now, you take. 
You brush your fingers against the flexing muscle of his stomach as you pull at the shirt, making him moan deep in his throat. His skin is like fire as you brush your fingers across its warmth, shoving his shirt off. He leans up, letting it fall from his shoulders, rippling to the ground.
The light from your hall glows behind Chan, haloing him in golden light. Your breath catches in your chest as your fingers press to his skin, brush over his shoulders and chest, down his stomach. You feel him twitch beneath your hands but he lets you explore, breathing hard under your reverence. 
Golden boy, so full of fire. It’s all you can think of as you stare up at him, equal parts light and dark in your bedroom. Your hands drop to his belt and you tug him to you, desperate for him. 
“Kiss me,” you beg. 
He does. His mouth is greedy, stealing your breath. A thrill shoots through you when he slides his knee up higher, pressing it between your legs. You breath the kiss to gasp at the barest amount of pressure and Chan grins, watching your reaction through a heavy gaze. 
“Take this off for me,” he asks, voice raspy. He pulls at the hem of his sweatshirt on your frame. “Please.”
You lean up, pressing your mouth to his collarbone in a sweet kiss as you pull the shirt over your head. He helps you, tossing it somewhere else. His hands go to your sides, fingers tracing up your curves as he pushes you back down, claiming your mouth again. 
It feels like you might go crazy. Your bare chest presses against his, the friction turning your blood to liquid fire. His knee is firm between your legs, and when his hand slips to your waist, squeezing you and urging you to roll your hips you can’t help but let out a moan in the shape of his name, helpless.
“Fuck,” he swears, dropping his forehead to your shoulder as he helps you move against his thigh. “If you say my name like that again I might bust in my fucking pants.” 
“Chan.” 
“Don’t,” he laughs, biting your shoulder. “I want this so bad.” 
“I want you.”
“I might pass out due to sheer joy.” 
“I have some ideas on how to revive you.” 
He lets out a swear and you laugh. “You’re going to be the death of me.” 
“Maybe.” 
Truth is, you think he might be the death of you. You’d die happily in his arms, completely swept up in the feeling of Chan’s tongue as it skates across your skin and up the swell of your breast. When he pauses, you look down at him. He smirks, happy to have your attention before he flicks his tongue lightly over the peak of your nipple. 
You squeeze your legs around his thigh, back bowing off the bed. He lets out a chuckle, repeating the flicking motion as he watches you with dark, satisfied eyes. It drives you insane, the way he watches you with equal parts reverence and determination to find out what makes you squirm. 
Chan is a fast learner. His teeth scrape against your nipple and you whine, thrashing under him as he teases you, pulling gently. The sting feels so good, making you melt into the mattress underneath him. He makes a sound of appreciation, sucking gently and sending you to the moon before trailing his mouth toward your other breast. 
The hand on your hip squeezes you, reminding you why it had been there in the first place. “Keep going.” His breath fans against your skin and you tremble. “I like seeing you worked up.” 
“God,” you whisper, trying to roll your hips against his leg again. It feels so good but it’s not enough, and as he sucks greedily at your chest you feel like you might rip at the seams. “Who knew you were so… this.” 
You feel his wet grin against you, tongue flicking against your pert nipple. Your head falls to the side as you pant, trying to catch your fucking breath. 
Of course he can reduce you to nothing so easily. No one knows you better than Chan, the two of you like twin flames. Every touch of his tongue, every press of his fingers into your skin, every breath of your name on his lips were made to unravel you because it’s Chan. Your Chan. 
Your Chan who gently pulls the sweatpants from your hips, groaning low and slow when he sees the way your panties stick to your folds. Your Chan who kisses and bites the softness of your thighs, breath ghosting across sensitive flesh, fingers prying your legs apart when they start to twitch shut. 
You’d always been made for him. To think otherwise was folly. You know that now, hand gripping his bones tight as he pulls your hands to the side, the cold air hitting your aching cunt. He lets you squeeze his hand, not caring that your gripping is bone-breaking. 
“Hmm.” He looks up at you and you look down at him. His eyes are blown and he grins, shaking his head a little. “This for me?” You nod, your thoughts banging around the near empty space in your head as you do. “Fuck.” 
And then his tongue presses against you, flat and warm and fuck fuck fuck. You can barely function as Chan drags his tongue slowly up your pussy, avoiding your clit entirely before dragging it back down. He makes a sound in his throat that sounds like a whine and you nearly lose it there, driven insane by him. 
Chan takes the hand he has linked with yours and rests it on your hip, pressing into you to keep you still. You buck under his mouth and he laughs, unbothered as he looks up at you. The vision of him between your legs makes you dizzy, his hair mused, tongue pressed between your folds, eyes starving. 
Your other hand grips his wrist where his opposite hand holds you open. You cling to him, thighs twitching as he licks you at his leisure. His mouth is a weapon, bringing you to the edge of insane easily. When he closes his lips around your clit and sucks gently, you fear you might break. 
He can sense it too, setting himself to the task of pushing you over the edge. Chan learns you so quickly - maybe just knows you intuitively - alternating between circling his tongue around your throbbing bundle of nerves and sucking on it gently. 
“I am going to die,” you gasp between ragged breaths. “Your fucking mouth.” 
“Yeah? Feels good?” The buzz of his words drive right into your lower stomach where your orgasmed has so much compacted pressure you know you’re going to snap any moment. “Taste so good. I could eat this pussy all fucking night.” 
“Fuck, Chan. I’m gonna come.” 
He gives a harsh suck to your cunt, the wet sound obscene. “Good.” 
“Like that.”
“Yeah?” he asks, panting. He does it again, following your instruction. Your mouth falls open as you nod, unable to string together more than. “Mmm.” 
Chan doubles his effort, the wet sounds of his mouth making it all the harder to keep it together. He keeps you in place as best as he can, but his little hums of pleasure and the combination of his mouth and tongue send your orgasm slamming into you. 
You think you say his name. You have no idea if anything comes out at all. You come hard, thrashing against the bed as he licks you through it, uncaring. Every nerve in your body is on fire, limbs tingling as you float in the momentary high of your peak before you start to come back down, breathing raggedly. 
A cramp throbs in your fingers that are still twisted in Chan’s grip. You loosen your grip a little bit, feeling a little bad about almost snapping his fingers. He doesn’t seem to mind, head still between your legs, tongue gentle and pressed against your twitching entrance. He avoids your clit, letting you catch your breath.
“Chan,” you mumble. He lifts his head, your arousal spread across his mouth. He is a mess, spiking your need for him. You pull at him, wild. “Kiss me.” 
He doesn’t hesitate. He scrambles up to you, letting go of your hand in favor of cradling your face. The kiss is hungry and wet, your heady taste on his mouth as you drink him in. You don’t care, desperate to have him close, pulling him into you. 
One of your hands snakes between your bodies, pressing against the firm outline of his cock through his pants. He lets out a whine, shaking his head as he breaks the kiss, breathing heavy. 
“Don’t,” he begs. “I will cum right now.” 
“Oh?” 
“I’m so serious, I almost came untouched.”
“Wow, I really do it for you, huh?” 
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” His sincerity makes you flush and you peck him on the lips. “I cannot promise I will not come apart after a single stroke.” 
“Don’t care.” You undo his belt, pulling. “Want it. Want you. Please don’t make me wait.” 
He curses. “I can deny you nothing.” He sees your wicked grin and shakes his head, laughing as he pulls away to kick out of his pants. “You like having me wrapped around your finger, huh?” 
“You’re not the only one whipped.” He looks at you, doubtful. “You think I share my fries with anyone? Be so real, Chan. That’s something only you can do.” 
“Got it. French fry privileges, what else can I weaponize?” 
You don’t answer his question, distracted by him as he peels his briefs off and fists his heavy cock. You lick your lips, drinking in the length and thickness of him, the sticky, swollen tip, the way he pumps himself when he kneels on the bed again. 
“Hmm?” he asks, noticing you're distracted. “Everything okay?” 
“You have a nice dick,” you blurt. He pauses, raising his brows, thighs pressed to the back of yours. You fold your lips flat, a little embarrassed by your outburst. “Thank you is the proper response to a compliment.” 
He bursts into laughter and you can’t help but join him, covering your face as it heats up. “Don’t hide from me, wanna see you,” he teases, grabbing your hands and pulling them from your face. He pins them above your head. “And thank you.” 
Chan runs the head of his cock along your sticky folds, both of you moaning in unison. His hand still pins yours above your head, making you feel open and vulnerable. Your knees squeeze his hips as he ruts against you a little, eyes focused while he uses his other end to guide himself to your entrance. 
“Mmm,” the sound escapes you as he presses in, the ache in your core doubling for a second as he sinks further. “Fuuuck.”
“Okay?”
“Very. Just- slow.”
“You got it, baby.” 
The term of endearment hits you low in the stomach. Between him whispering baby and sinking into the hilt, you don’t know what drives you crazier. The easy answer is just Chan. It’s simply Chan who does this to you, who turns you inside out, who reduces you to a whimpering mess. 
Chan lets go of your hands and brings it to your face. He leans down, supported by the other hand as he kisses you gently, letting you adjust to his girth, pussy spasming around him as you try to keep it together. The kiss is slow and sweet, in contrast to the feral kiss you shared earlier. 
“Fuck,” he breaths against you mouth, laughing. He presses his forehead against yours. “You’re fucking squeezing me. I might die.” 
You do it on purpose this time and he hisses, all of his muscles clenching. “Like that?” 
“Doonnn’t. If I come right now I’ll be so embarrassed.” 
“Why? It’s just me.”
“I don’t want to one-stroke my dream girl, are you serious?” 
“Dream girl, huh?” He pulls out a little before shallow thrusting back in. “Mmm yeah. That feels good.” 
Instead of answering your jest, he kisses you slowly. His strokes are slow but deep, making you sigh. He feels so good, having him like this. Chan presses his body against you, melding the two of you. You wrap your legs around his waist, squeezing to keep him as close as possible. 
Your name falls from his lips as you move in sync. You can feel his heart pounding in his chest, feel him shake in your hands. He buries his face in your neck, mouth pressed against your skin as he breathes heavily. You cling to him, as though you could press your love into him, as though you can transfer it through touch. 
Chan slides a hand between the two of you, reaching down to circle your clit gently. You whimper in surprise, squeezing around him and drawing out a low sound. “I’m gonna come soon,” he murmurs. “Do you have another one, baby? Can you try for me?”
You nod. He presses his lips to your temple, driving his hips faster, fingers firm. You feel yourself wind up again, desperate to catch up to Chan, to give him what he wants, to come undone together. You’d do anything for him - anything he asked. You always have.
A glint of metal catches your eye. You see the necklace you gifted him hanging around his neck, tapping his collarbone in time with his movements. The sight of it makes you possessive, your desire for him surging. Gripping the back of his neck, you bring his mouth to yours. You don’t kiss him, but your mouths are pressed together as you mutter, “I love you, you know?” 
He groans, hips stuttering, fingers firm. You’re so close, you feel yourself right on that edge again. “I do know,” he admits, his cock pressing that perfect spot inside of you that has the room spinning. “I love you too, you know?”
You feel him smile against you. The kiss he gives you is so gentle that it sends you over the edge. You hold him tight, coming undone around him as he groans into your mouth, unraveling with you. When he stills, you keep holding him to you, his embrace warm. 
Chan nudges your nose with his. You open your eyes to find his dark ones peering at you. You smile, lifting a hand to trace your fingers along his jaw, the gentle slope of his nose, the roundness of his cheeks. You note the faint freckles under his eyes, his long lashes, the way one side of his lips lifts before the other when he smiles. 
“Hmm?” he asks.
“You’re so pretty.” You trace your finger to his nose and then flick it. He frowns and pulls away, making you laugh. “There is cum leaking down my leg to my ass.” He thrusts once sharply and you whine. “Chaaaan.”
“Hmmm?”
“Can we shower?” 
“We?”
You grin. “You speak French?” 
“I speak pussy.”
“Ew, get off of me!” you laugh, hitting him in the shoulder. He laughs too, rolling off and pulling out. “Take me to the shower, you loser.” 
“Oui.” 
“Then I want to watch Buffy - oh no.”
“What?” He stands and reaches a hand out to you, helping you up. “Are you alright?”
“I ordered pizza and they probably tried to deliver.” 
“That’s okay.” He pulls you toward the shower and smacks your ass lightly, making you yelp. “Start the shower, I’ll call and get it re-delivered.”
You pause, looking at him, unable to bite back the smile. “I love you.”
“Mhmm. Love you too, Bambi.”
-
“I know I’m good looking,” Chan murmurs, eyes on the screen. “But you’re staring very hard at me.” 
You’re laying against his chest, head tilted up to look at him. You can’t help it, watching the blue light from the TV dance across his face, reflected in the glasses he put on after the shower. His hair is still damp and fluffy, skin glistening from the skincare post-shower. 
“You are good looking.”
“Damn. Only like me for the looks?”
“Well your jokes aren’t very good.” 
He levels you with a glare and you laugh, kissing him quickly before settling down in his arms again. His embrace is warm and he smells like your shampoo. You press yourself into him further and he grunts, letting you. 
“Can we do Blood and Popcorn forever?” you ask, watching him fondly. He smiles and kisses your forehead, flooding you with warmth. “Please?”
“Anything you ask, baby. Blood and Popcorn forever.” 
-
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beescake · 7 months
Note
PLEASE PLEASE MEGADUMP THE ARASOL!!! PLEAAASEE MR BEESCAKE I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU
HFHGHD GLADLY aaa i’ve been adding notes to it here and there for months but just hesitant to post it bcs im 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂
also this is just my own takeaway of the events, it doesn’t necessarily comply to the Ultimate Truth of Canon-Alignment or represent the actual facts of what hussie intended! v sentimental smh but hopefully its still interesting to read
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i love when characters inform each other by proximity, it's one of my fave things to see in media :') it feels even more significant when two characters deliberately choose to stick together, so that when one operates, you can tell the other is similarly aligned in associative solidarity.
sollux is a keystone of this trope — whoever he aligns with is a wordless statement, a nod of approval. this stood out to me bcs the main four humans were alr friends by default, but once you reach hivebent you realize the trolls can actively choose who they want to hang out with.
and as we all know, after assessing every troll's biases/loyalties, sollux is the only one who maintains his selective preference for innately Good 👍 people.
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aradia is such a beautiful character honestly, she evokes such incredible feelings in me. she might not have been consistently written with care but the best parts of her character are truly stunning. i think it's easy to remember sollux as the self-sacrificing one bc he's so open about it (and his friends frequently react to his Moments) but when you compare him to aradia, it's always struck me
how much more. raw it is
to be so alone as an agent of time, having to orchestrate immeasurably harrowing events nobody understands or gives a fuck about
with your role painted in the story as one who must tend to the needs of the narrative, responsible to match every next note
because when you're given the capabilities, it becomes your duty to carry it out.
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it becomes expected of you to keep experimenting and arranging the machinations to work for everyone, dusting off hundreds of necessary failures to keep going
and having to be so unwavering in your drive knowing miserably that there's no one who can help you but yourself.
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or alternatively: to make things fun! so other people won't think twice about letting you go off on your own.
sure she's had some very good buds, notably thanks to Team Charge v Team Scourge antics.
and yet, at the end of the day, the one friend that kept choosing her time and time again was the friend with the highest standards.
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i can see why people like to define arasol as moirails/matesprits but surprisingly i find the nondescript, unlabeled aspect of their relationship more straightforward to understand.
there's no shortage of people who would accommodate sollux. most of the surviving trolls are his oldest friends bcs he’d chosen them well. his transparency with his feelings had built him strong friendships that won’t falter or break, regardless of how much of a dick he can be. they’ve already seen and accepted him at his worst, and they still like him for who he is.
contrast that with aradia, who'd been so approachable, friendly and reliable in her exchanges it was super fun to talk to her. but the moment she became depressed, all her connections broke down.
her friends became hesitant to interact with her (until she became god tier, “happy” and amicable again) because her gloom and resignation didn’t serve them. she dealt with it alone.
there’s def something of note here abt the disparity between the way male & female characters are written+perceived in homestuck (esp parallel arasol with davejade) but i won’t go into that lmaoo
with this in mind i like to think of sollux as a gift to her, a loyal companion given to complement and commend her resolve. she's capable of doing so much alone but hussie took the time to build her and sollux's relationship as one of a unit; a set.
the ambiguity of their status does complicate things, but i do believe it makes sense with their characters. aradia's relationship with romance is a rocky one, the dubious stringalong equius had with her is a pointed reminder that her feelings of attraction are ultimately controlled by the author writing her.
unlike the other trolls who can openly address and own up to their crushes, aradia had romantic emotions forced upon her (especially when hussie implies 'she kissed equius back on her own volition'). and it seems like her character is so intrinsically neutral abt attraction that even when forced by the almighty powers above, she's unable to retain it wholly.
however, looking back to pre-game when she could actually "choose" her own feelings, she did have a crush on sollux.
their soft spots for each other were so obvious to the point where other people could see it.
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taunting aside, when vriska comments on their unit as bf/gf it actually informs the audience that arasol's relationship is romantic in nature despite not aligning with the quadrant system.
even while dead, aradia could still describe her care for sollux, expressing that she would like to see him happy. if they had more time to explore their relationship on alternia, it's possible they could've settled in a quadrant once they grew older.
but going back to the lack of labels, their dynamic was affected once more when aradia became god tier.
to me, her ascension was both the perfect culmination and possible closure of her character. it's the light at the end of her journey toiling through countless of timelines where she had to actively assess and participate. that's why it's cool to see her being silly and having fun giving guidance, passively exploring and watching other people do their parts.
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and yet the joy of her freedom makes it hard to explore further introspection. if we take her by her word, she'd already come to terms with the hurt she's been through and forgiven those involved.
i can't help feeling attuned to how impersonal and detached it can be, to devote and meld your identity so completely with your designated position as Maid of Time until you've become hard for your old friends (and even some readers!) to personally connect to.
idk post-canon but i assume there’s some degree of similarity to be bridged here with aradia's god tier and how the hs2 humans' Ultimate forms was described as a consolidation of all their possibilities. since aradia's classpect is inherently of service to Time, going god-tier may have elevated her beyond personhood with the "game construct" possessing her entirely. sollux doesn't realize the extent of it bcs he's still mortal, but a part of him may have subconsciously understood this.
i think there is a core aspect to aradia that was lost to the dehumanizing glory of god tier — a core aspect that may have contained an element of why sollux enjoyed talking to her in the first place.
to him, aradia hadn't just been a nice girl, she was a cool girl. despite not having much in common, he's still willing to chill next to her so she's not alone while she does what needs to get done.
back on alternia, they held a mutual and equal-level regard for each other that could've definitely settled into something permanent. but now, he's placed himself in a position where he can be kept around or left behind at will. the parameters of the relationship are largely in aradia's court, so any label she suggests to identify their relationship with he's likely to accept.
but that's why it's so difficult to label it. because god tier aradia may not necessarily Want quadrants or relationship labels. rather than the initial romantic attachment, their commitment to each other had evolved into one fundamentally of companionship.
no label? ok fine. no matter what, he still thinks she's a good soul worth latching on to. the best, actually. aradia > everyone else.
even if it gets stilted at times. there's an unexpected struggle to connect when sollux's go-to default for talking points is his feelings about things, and aradia may not want to talk about emotions all the time.
not to mention god tier aradia became an observer, especially of chaos. but sollux's avoidance of involvement comes partially from his innate pressure to get involved if something goes wrong. and he can't always tell when something goes wrong, because aradia doesn't mind if things go wrong anymore.
it's a non-negotiable preference that causes them to take the occasional time apart, a new boundary that wouldn't have existed before the game and aradia's god tier.
but just like how his friends tolerated his moods, sollux accepts aradia as she is. with no quadrants, their connection doesn't break down because there's no implicit romantic expectations to be disappointed by or resentful over.
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sometimes when i see hs content that deliberately distances sollux from aradia, i assume this is the dissonance people might have felt. people might find it "easier" to be cynical about them bcs of this strange tension.
but idc lmao. grab that shit by the neck
lack of easy resolutions and cleanly tied ribbons is pretty standard of homestuck and imo it doesn't make arasol's dynamic any less incredible. with the right affection and consideration, there's still so much potential to develop the nuance of their relationship outside of the popular quadrant-based depictions.
hs has a lot of really great character compatibilities but the way aradia and sollux are in their own special orbit is why i can write this much about them in the first place. it's that frail innocence between first loves that makes it so sweet to me, two kids who grew up too fast playing guesswork without being clear where they're going.
ultimately i do think you're meant to feel a little tragedy for just how much they care for each other, even if they can't quite establish it in simple terms.
maybe they keep taking breaks to progress their own paths. maybe they remain as anchor partners while seeing other people. but even if you decide to separate them, they're still (awkwardly) texting each other updates all the while. and when they reunite it feels like coming home.
and well. more than anything, i like to believe that they do want to be exclusive.
they're just afraid. after all, they're still learning how to love, beyond the projections of the foursquare quadrant system they had inadvertently distanced themselves from since young.
they might not have everything figured out, but they'll get there eventually if you just hold them together and write them there.
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optional post-canon segment:
one of the limitations of main hs is that (monogamous) relationships are often written as the go-to solution to wrap up character growth; it's an easy "patch" to imagine characters getting their happy ending because they have a partner, and those who don't end up with someone don't get that closure (most notably jade).
hs2 reaffirms this by suggesting that aradia's character cannot progress without letting sollux go, because happily settling in a relationship automatically locks your potential.
that pathetic panel of sollux staring emptily into the sky is still my fave hs2 spoiler ngl i find the impact of their parting so emotionally provoking precisely bcs they were written in original hs to be each other's forever, coming back together again and again
but now, they're subject to the decisions of the post-canon authors who might choose to deviate from that.
it's not new for them to part, but now there's an underlying worry that her dropping him off this time might be the last time. while i think the prospect of shattering their stability to make them grow separately sounds fun on paper, no amount of me desperately hoping for a good execution is gonna guarantee it
idk. i guess prediction-wise im expecting sollux in classic dramatic-hs2 fashion to tell dave to back off aradia LMAO. otherwise it's just gon be sollux and karkat pathetically watching aradia and dave from a distance swimming in their unresolved feelings for narratively-powerful time players smh obvs it sounds corny as hell but who knows its still plausible
srsly tho i hope they take the opportunity to develop arasol's relationship in a fresh direction that doesn't hurt me too badly...... and i hope they force sollux out of his comfort zone. i like watching him struggle :-)
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srjlvr · 10 months
Text
SEVEN ROYALTIES
“once upon a time there was a prince, who did anything he could to be with the love of his life” — park sunghoon.
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park sunghoon x fem!reader genre: childhood friends to enemies to lovers , one sided love somewhere into the story , heavy angst , fluff ! warnings: character’s death (not a main character) , curse words. (lmk if i missed something pls!) || NOT FULLY PROOFREAD!!
WORD-COUNT ; 5.5K+
NOTE. wow i dont even know where to start! it’s been a real while! i think like more than a month, i’m extremely sorry for being gone, school is so stressful, but i got some time to write now and honestly? i missed it so much!! hopefully you’d like this part and don’t let it fool you, just because i’ve been gone for a while doesn’t mean i’m not continuing this wonderful series!! it was also supposed to be enemies to lovers but i honestly failed miserably and idk how to define it- some mentions of sunoo’s story are dropped here too :)
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“why do you always look at me like that?”
“like what?”
“like i’m the most precious thing you’ve ever saw”
a few years into your childhood and you were already been told that you’re going to marry off to someone as soon as possible.
you, being the second princess and the least favorite one, had to deal with a lot of struggles through your childhood.
everyone loved your older sister more, praised her, cherished her, spoiled her, gave her whatever she wants.
you, on the other hand, had to work hard in terms of getting what you wanted.
you always looked up to your older sister, you can’t lie, you definitely understand why she’s getting all the attention to herself without even trying.
your mom is your favorite person, she’s actually your best friend.
some kids have hard time deciding what to answer when they’re being asked who’s their favorite parent, but you definitely know the answer already.
it’s your dad that never bats an eye to you, your mom however always tries to maintain her attention to both you and your sister. you’d do anything for your mom.
as much as you’re happy that you’re at least not a second option in your mom’s perspective, the king is the one who’s more dominant.
you’ve always tried to get your father’s attention, even for a mere second, but he always pushed you away, making you feel unworthy and sad.
at age six, you were forced to go with your mom to one of her friend’s kingdom, your neighbor kingdom.
everyone in royalty knows about the good friendship your kingdoms have, and they’re all surprised it still keeps on going.
royalty comes with a dangerous risk, people will always look at anything you do, and will not hesitate to attack if you happened to do something they’re not a fond of.
your kingdom suffered lots of wars, but won almost all of them.
at the very same day you were forced to go with your mom, you also met the person who finally had all their attention on you, the person who you could rely on no matter when.
“i’m y/n!” you extended your hand out with a smile.
“i’m sunghoon” he whispered and you tilt your head. he wasn’t shaking your hand and you couldn’t even hear him.
“what?”
“i’m sunghoon”
“i cant hear you!!” you shout and put your ear really close to his mouth.
“i’m sunghoon!” he shouted into your ear and you fell down while holding your ear.
“you did that on purpose didn’t you!” you pout and he laughed.
that’s when you realized his cute smile and the little dimples that grew on his cheeks.
he was cute, a cute and shy prince, you could get along perfectly with him.
and you actually did. you spent the rest of your visit just roaming around their castle.
he introduced you his six brothers, they were all very nice and funny, but only sunghoon interested you.
he told you about his interests and you told him about yours.
“i want to learn how to skate!” he said and you noticed his eyes growing in excitement while talking about it.
“it sounds really interesting!” you smiled and cheered him.
“what about you?”
“i actually don’t know” you sighed, “i want my father to pay more attention to me”
“who needs your father when you have me? i’ll be always here for you” he smiled.
“really?” you asked and he nodded, “really”
“promise me!” you held out your pinky and he locked his with yours, “i think promises are stupid, but only for you i promise to never leave you side”
“why are they stupid?”
“because sometimes you regret them, or even forget them, and you cant keep them forever”
growing up with sunghoon was something you could never explain.
having to suffer your father’s comparisons between you and your sister was something, but having to see sunghoon going through puberty was something else. scarier indeed.
the both of you were inseparable, to the point where your parents even started talking about marriage between the two of you when you were twelve.
every now and then in your teenage years, you’d come around his castle, your second home.
whenever you were pissed off with your father or just wanted some quiet, you’d find yourself going back to sunghoon, only he knew how to make you feel ten times better.
“what are you reading?” he asked you.
you were laying your head on his lap as he sat under a tree, it was a peaceful day and you wanted to enjoy some time with him.
“just some fairytale stories” you put your book on your stomach and looked at him who was already looking down at you.
“wishing it was you?” he teased.
you rolled your eyes and smacked the book on his head, “fairytales are the best!”
you returned to read the book while he kept staring at you.
“read for me” he asked and you looked at him, sharing an eye contact.
“hey”
“hm?”
“why do you always look at me like that?”
“like what?”
“like i’m the most precious thing you’ve ever saw”
sunghoon coughed a bit and looked away, “just start reading please, im interested”
“the princess then took the prince’s hand and held it tightly, slowly closing the gap between them and leaning in for a kiss—“
“never mind! i’ll just go sleep” sunghoon threw you off him and laid down next to you.
“you could’ve done that nicely!” you scoffed and he laughed.
he can’t explain it, but something about you makes him feel warm and comfortable. he loves your company more than anything else in this world and there’s nothing he loves more than staring at your gorgeous face.
spending a few years together made him long for you more and more every day that he’s not next to you.
he fell in love with you, and he fell hard.
you weren’t better either, every day without sunghoon for you felt like eternity.
he’s the only person you can see your future with, the only person who loves you for who you are and the only person that has his full attention on you.
you trust him more than you trust yourself and you family members.
on royal events, you’d be acting like a married couple, shooing away the singles royals that wants to catch you.
you belong to sunghoon and sunghoon belongs to you.
“it’s nice to meet you prince sunghoon” one filthy princess introduced herself to sunghoon while you stood by his side, holding his arm.
“likewise, meet my wife, y/n” he said, clearly uninterested in the princess but as soon as he looked over his side and met your eyes a smile formed on his face.
the princess scoffed and went away, finally letting you and sunghoon laugh it off.
“did you see the way she looked at you when you said you have a wife?” you held a hand over your chest, out of breath because of the amount of air you let out.
“please, it was so funny i’ll remember it for long” he nodded and you continued making jokes about everyone around you.
you shared your first kiss with sunghoon when you were fifteen.
“i love cherry blossoms” you said as you walked together with sunghoon under the cherry blossoms.
it was one of your favorite things to do with him, walking through the long road, hand in hand.
“and i love you” he let out.
“what?”
“what?” he repeated after you.
“what did you sa-“
he cut you off with a kiss, your first kiss.
cherry blossoms fell from the trees and the wind caressed your skin.
his lips were soft, locked with your lips. it was perfect, the kind of fairytale you were always wishing you could have finally came true, with the person you loved the most.
when you parted your lips to get some air, both of you giggled and he put his forehead against yours.
“i said i love you” he smiled.
“i love you too”
regardless of the sudden confession, you decided to stay as friends, and when the both of you will feel ready, you’d try it out.
at age sixteen, your mother’s condition started to go downhill. she got sick and had to take medical exams every now and then, ever since then, you decided to spend time with her as much as you could.
“good morning mom! how are you feeling today?” you asked with a huge smile on your face when you saw your mother.
“feeling as usual, nothing new” she gave you a weak smile, “have you eaten yet?”
you shook your head, “i was at the garden after father had his daily complains over me, i needed to take some breathes”
your mother nodded and hugged you, “i’m sorry your father is like that, if being a selfish father was a competition he’d definitely win”
both of you giggled and spent a few hours together.
you never told sunghoon anything about your mother’s condition, every time he’d ask about her well-beings you’d say she’s doing well but she’s too busy with duties, and he’d suspect nothing.
at the age seventeen, your mother’s condition worsened, she had doctors around her all the time.
“hello mother” you smiled.
“y/n! good morning” she tried to smile back.
“how are you—“
“i must ask you something before it’s too late” she cut you off.
“what is it?”
“i’ve been thinking about it for a while, and it might be silly and selfish of me to ask you to do that” she sighed, “please promise me you’re going to marry sunghoon”
“what?” you asked confused.
“he’s treating you well y/n, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you happier than when you’re with him. you’re perfect for each other” she nodded, “i don’t have much time left, hearing you promising you’d marry the man who makes you the happiest, would help me leave peacefully, to know that you’re going to live the life you deserve”
“i promise mom, i promise i’ll marry him but please, you have much time left, don’t say such nonsense!”
your mother hugged you and thanked you. guess it wasn’t so well-hidden that you were in love with sunghoon.
on one of the days your father called you. before walking inside his room you rolled your eyes, what kind of a complain he has now?
“hello father” you looked at him coldly.
“y/n,” he called, “i need to ask you to do something”
“huh?” you looked over him confused, “you never ask me for favors”
“your sister is too busy with her duties, so i trust you with this one” he shortly explained.
“okay,” you nodded, “what is it?”
“i need you to come with me to visit the other neighbor kingdom—“
“but we were never on good terms with them, they’re hybe’s kingdom biggest rivals too!” you cut him off.
“they’re the only ones that can help us with your mother’s condition. we must do anything we can to help her” your father sighed, “they have a son who’s interested in you, they requested to see you too”
you shook your head, “i’m not interested in him—“
“this is the only way to help your mother!” he shout and you backed away.
“what about hybe kingdom! can’t they help in any kind of way?” you argued.
your father shook his head, “they can’t do anything about it, and they must not know about your mother’s condition”
“so going to the rival kingdom and risking your good friendship is better?”
“you’re coming with me and it’s final”
a few days before your visit in your neighbor kingdom, sunghoon came over.
before he went to search for you, he heard two servants talking about something that drawn him to it.
“did you hear about y/n’s mother’s condition?” one of them said.
“it keeps on getting worse, poor y/n! i heard she has to go to the other kingdom to ask for their help together with the king” the other replied.
“i heard they’re the only ones that could help! hybe kingdom knows nothing about it because they don’t want to bother them too much, i also heard the son of the other kingdom is interested in y/n, what about prince sunghoon!”
“poor them, i just hope she won’t end up with their son. i was rooting for y/n and sunghoon endgame”
“agree, i also heard their daughter is interested in sunghoon! this is risky” she shook her head.
“y/n is strong, she won’t marry the son i just know it” they both nodded their heads and sunghoon slowly walked back.
he refuses to believe what he just heard. y/n’s mother’s condition worsens? y/n marrying someone else? he’ll never let that happen.
“sunghoon!” you called and hugged him, “i was searching for you instead of you searching for me”
sunghoon was not responding, he was too deep in thoughts and didn’t know how to stop them.
“sunghoon?” you waved your heads in front of him and he finally came back on track.
“i was just thinking about something” he smiled.
“would you like to talk about it?” you smiled warmly at him.
how could you smile so widely when youre going through all of this?
“it’s not something that should bother you” he smiled and kissed your cheeks.
you spent the rest of the day looking out for sunghoon, he was different today, as much as he didn’t want to show it, you noticed.
the next day sunghoon found himself standing in front of his biggest rival kingdom. he never thought he’d have to step his leg into this kingdom, but he’d do anything for you as long as he could.
“park sunghoon! i’ve never thought i’d witness a hybe royal inside my kingdom!” the king teased.
sunghoon closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, “i need your help and you’re the only one that can help me” he said firmly.
“we’re rivals, why would i want to help you?”
“because i have something you want” he sighed, “i’ll be getting my kingdom sooner or later, i’ll give it to you together with my crown”
“you’ll lose your crown for something possibly stupid?”
“i need you to help princess y/n’s kingdom. the queen’s condition is getting worse. i heard you gave the best doctors that can help her”
the king laughed, “you’re doing this for y/n and not for yourself? what a stupid prince you are!”
sunghoon looked away, fighting the urge not to stab the king and fight him.
“very well, i will help in exchange of your crown”
their agreement was that the king will send his best doctors to help your mother, and as soon as sunghoon will get his crown, he’ll give it to the king. if one of them breaks the agreement, it’s off.
a few days passed, and it was supposed to be your visit day in the other kingdom, except that it got canceled.
“did you tell anyone about this visit?!” your father shout at you and you shook your head.
“how come he sent me this stupid letter saying that if we step into his kingdom he’ll declare a war!”
“i don’t know! i did nothing!” you argued.
“something stopped him, more like someone! i’m going to find out who did this!” your father roamed outside his room, slamming the door harshly and you flinched.
a week passed and your mother’s condition wasn’t doing any better, the doctors told you it was already time to say goodbye but you refused to do so, you refuse to believe you won’t be able to see your mother everyday soon.
everything was too overwhelming and stressful, you decided to go to your second home, you needed some comfort and it’s been a while since you saw sunghoon anyway.
“what are you up to?” you found him in the castle’s garden, deep in thoughts.
“just thinking about something”
“by something you mean me?” you teased and he smiled, not answering your question because the answer is quite obvious.
you then hugged him tightly, and sighed deeply as you rest your forehead on his shoulder.
“is everything okay?” he caressed your back slowly.
“my mom isn’t doing well lately” you finally confessed. you had to let it all out and tell sunghoon the truth.
“she’s sick, too sick. and the last week was such a roller coaster, her condition isn’t getting better and it’s our time to say our final goodbyes, i’m not ready for that sunghoon” you sobbed, “i’m sorry for dumping it all on you and telling you all of this now when it’s late i just—“
“it’s okay” even though he already knew about your mother’s condition, he was so glad that you finally opened it up and told him, “i’m here for you”
he held you tighter than before and whispered sweet comfort words that always knew how to calm you down.
right after you left he thought about what happened.
he made a deal with the other kingdom, the king was supposed to help your mother, how come her condition worsened? something didn’t make sense to him at all.
“sunghoon!” his father called him and sunghoon rushed to the king’s room.
“yes father?”
“you’re getting married to our biggest rivals daughter and didn’t even tell us? are you out of your mind?” he shout.
sunghoon could’ve swore that in that moment his heart stopped beating, “what?” he asked in disbelief.
“the other king sent us a letter! inviting us to your wedding with his daughter! we’ve never been so humiliated, how could you betray your family?” his mother interrupted.
sunghoon shook his head, “there must be a misunderstanding—“
“how come?” the king asked, “your name is written on that letter! and it was probably sent to all the other kingdoms!!”
“what about y/n?!” his mother asked and his eyes widened.
“y/n…?”
“how do you think she’ll feel receiving that letter? huh?”
“no, no! none of this is true! you must believe me!”
“explain yourself then! we’re here waiting!” sunoo, one of sunghoon’s brother argued.
sunghoon sighed, shutting his eyes tightly and clenching his fists, “y/n’s mother, the queen, her condition is getting worse. she’s been awfully sick for a few years already, i overheard their servants talking about how only the other kingdom could help her because they don’t want to bother us. so i went to them myself, i made a deal with the king that he’ll help the queen in exchange of my throne—“
“are you out of your—“
“jay! let him talk” the queen shushed him.
“yes! i was ready to give up my crown if it means i can help her in any way!” sunghoon sighed, “the king obviously did nothing and lied to me! and now apparently im ‘marrying his daughter’ you know damn well that’s never going to happen because i want to marry y/n!”
sunghoon’s mother wiped out her tears and hugged sunghoon, “i’m sorry you had to go through this, you could’ve told us—“
“i didn’t want to bother you too, this story is complicated than you think”
“what about y/n’s mother’s condition?” the king asked quietly.
“y/n said it’s been getting worse, they started to say their final goodbyes” sunghoon whispered and the room became quiet, as a respect for the queen.
“you should go to her, to check on her” heeseung suddenly spoke.
“yeah, i bet she needs someone by her side right now” jungwon added.
sunghoon nodded and with his parents’ approval he went to your kingdom.
he searched for you around and saw you staring at your garden, he smiled for himself and tapped your shoulder.
“hey” he said.
“what are you doing here?” you asked coldly.
“what?” he tilt his head, “i’m here to visit you”
“don’t you have a wedding to go get prepared to?” you scoffed, “go away park, you’re not welcomed here anymore”
sunghoon had been stabbed a few times in his life, but your words hurt him more than ten stabs at once.
“you have to listen to me i—“
“there’s nothing to explain! i got the letter, saw your name on it and it was enough for me to understand this was all a game for you” you shout, “i can’t believe i actually believed your bullshit”
“i hate you, park sunghoon” you spit out, nothing but hate is in your fierce glance at him. he just chuckled, “you don’t mean that”
“oh i do,” you nodded, “and to think that i actually promised my mom i’ll be marrying you” you chuckled in disbelief.
“looking back at that promise, i realize why you used to believe that promises are stupid” you added.
“i’m sorry” he apologized, “sorry isn’t going to change anything, is it?”
“y/n—“
“just get out, please” you were being nice, asking him to leave and pointing your hands to the door although he already knew where to go.
sunghoon didn’t want to bother you, he thought you’d probably relax in a day or two, and he’d be able to talk it out with you.
you can’t just erase all your feelings and delete all your memories after so many years, right?
as soon as he got out he went to the other kingdom, to finally get some sense into that stupid, useless king.
“park sunghoon! so nice to see you my son-in-law!” the king said and sunghoon only wanted to punch his face.
“wedding? with your daughter? son-in-law? you’re out of your fucking mind!” he spit out.
the king only laughed in his face, “why? wouldn’t you like to be my son? i’ll take good care of you”
sunghoon rolled his eyes, “the deal is canceled, you won’t get any crown or another kingdom, fix whatever you did, you ruined my life anyway and you never even helped y/n’s mother”
“oh but i feel like i haven’t ruined your life enough”
“cut it off, we both know my kingdom will finish you once we’ll declare a war”
“what makes you think that?”
“i did” another voice was heard in the room.
sunghoon’s father stepped in and put his hand on sunghoon’s shoulder.
“and i’m afraid i also know too many secrets about you, old friend” he teased, “leave my son alone, and don’t you dare ruin his life again. he did a mistake asking for your help but he did what he had to do”
sunghoon’s father then dragged him out of the kingdom back to theirs.
right after sunghoon left your room, you went out to breathe and relax your brain a bit.
how could sunghoon do this to you? everything he ever said to you, every hug, every joke, was it all a lie to him?
there must be a reason behind it, but you’re too hurt to even care about it. no reason could be enough for you right now.
you decided to focus on being next to your mother, spending her last days together and showing her the brightest side of you, you didn’t tell her anything and she didn’t suspect anything so you just left it be.
three days passed ever since you last heard from sunghoon.
you miss him, you miss everything and anything about him. you needed his comfort the most right now, but you couldn’t bring yourself to see him.
“y/n, sunghoon is here to pay a visit” one of your servants informed you.
“tell him i don’t want to see him,” you sighed, “and tell him to take care” you whispered that line.
you refused to see him in any cost. you’re too angry to even care about his feelings right now. all you could feel is betrayal, and hurt.
in one of the next days, you went out to the garden to read some books and write on your diary.
when you got back inside the castle you saw your mother’s doctors standing with their heads down.
“we’re sorry your highness, we did everything we could” they said and couldn’t even make eye contact with you as their eyes were full with tears.
you froze there for a few minutes, you knew this day would come but could never prepare yourself enough for that. you didn’t want to believe this day would come so fast.
“please tell me i’m dreaming” you told them but they shook their heads, “we’re very sorry your—“
they got cut off when they saw you falling to the ground, sobbing and covering your eyes.
you were crying like a little child who lost their ice cream, refusing to get up and screaming at everything.
the last few days were just about you and her, she taught you everything you needed to know about life and royalty.
“you need to be a good wife to sunghoon!” she smiled.
“mom! he has to be a good husband before that!”
“you’re right! if he’s being mean tell him you’d leave him and take all of his money” she joked and you giggled.
“i don’t need money”
“you don’t, but you do need to annoy him and help him realize he’s nothing without you!”
all of those memories past by your mind all day, thinking about your dear mother, who was there for you when no one else was.
“who’s going to be by my side now, mom?” you asked quietly, “i already miss you so much”
it was dinner time in hybe’s kingdom, all seven brothers sat together with their parents.
“sunoo, we’ve found the perfect wife for you! you’re going to meet her at the ballroom on ni-ki’s birthday!! isn’t that exciting?” the queen clapped in excitement.
“yeah, very exciting!” sunoo tried to sound cheerful, but failed miserably in sunghoon’s eyes.
he pitied his younger brother for being the only one who’s being forced to someone he doesn’t even know.
sunoo explain multiple times to his parents that he wants to marry someone out of love, and that he believes that when it’s time, he’ll meet the one for him. but his parents turned deaf to his thoughts.
“i already met her once, she’s really pretty! the perfect pair for you!”
“your highness” a few servants came into the room and interrupted the dinner.
“is it important? we’re having dinner right now—“
“queen (name) of (name) kingdom is no longer with us” the servants lowered their heads as a respect and the king got up from his seat instantly.
sunghoon’s eyes widened, he was left speechless and froze in his place.
“we’ll be going to pay our respects tomorrow morning together, prepare yourselves” the king said and left the dining room.
sunghoon didn’t know what to do. it has already been a week and he’s been trying to reach out to you, but you rejected him every time.
he sent you letters but didn’t get any back. he was hopeless.
what is he supposed to do now? he didn’t even say his last goodbye to his mother-in-law.
the next day, you received loads of letters from loads of kingdoms, thanking the queen for her service and mourning her death.
hybe’s kingdom however, came personally to comfort you and the rest of your family.
the king and the queen, and six of their children. yes, only six of them. one of them was missing.
park sunghoon didn’t come to comfort you.
“we’re very sorry to hear the devastating news, the queen was the kindest soul we’ve ever got to meet” the king shook your father’s hands and pat his back.
the six sons came to you and hugged you. you hugged them back and broke down. the six sons already became your brothers long time ago, you felt safe around them.
“we’re sorry y/n, we’re here for you now” heeseung, the oldest one said with a comforting smile.
as much as you were thankful for them, you were hoping to see a certain person, a person who didn’t even bother showing up.
it only added up to your anger on him, how could he do that? what happened to always being there for you?
“sunghoon felt a bit sick and unwell today, he couldn’t get up from his bed, he really wanted to come” the queen smiled weakly at you and you returned the smile.
you spent the rest of the day with your six brothers, completely forgetting about your father and sister, they were here to comfort you and be with you.
“sunoo,” you called out, “hm?” he answered quietly.
“is sunghoon really sick?” you asked and he nodded, “i think the news about your mother caught him off guard, he couldn’t even speak after he heard the news”
you pressed your lips together and nodded, “please wish him well, i hope he’ll get better as soon as possible”
“i will do that” he smiled warmly at you.
just because you’re hurt by him, doesn’t mean you don’t care about him. he still holds a big place in your heart.
the next days passed by slowly, you spent most of your time in your room, sometimes even refusing to get out for a whole day.
sunghoon crossed your mind every day. your last words to him crossed your mind every day too.
you said you hate him, but you lied. you love him, you love him too much that it hurts.
you feel too betrayed and hurt by him but it’s somehow the last thing that interests you.
you just need to see him and hug him. but your ego wouldn’t let you.
so you waited for him to fight for you, you knew he’d try again, and again, and again, that’s just the person that he is.
after a while of isolating yourself in your room, you decided to get out and read some books.
that’s what your mom would want you to do, to move on and start a new life.
as you were reading your book, you heard a familiar voice calling you.
“y/n,” your heart skipped a beat. you were too scared to turn around and see the person you were so hoping to see for so long.
“please tell me you’re not who i think you are” you breathed slowly.
“i’m sorry” he let out.
you finally decided to turn around and you met his eyes. it’s been a while since you last saw him, you missed staring at his beautiful face, and his beautiful moles that made his face look ten times better, his kissable lips that always felt soft against yours, you missed everything about him.
“please,” he whispered, “please hear me out this time”
you blinked a few times, still not believing that he’s actually in front of you.
“you didn’t show up when i needed you the most, you betrayed me and lied to me, why would i listen to any of your excuses now?” you argued, but deep down you wanted to hear him so badly.
“y/n please” he pleaded, “just listen to what i have to say, and it’s up to you wether to believe it or not, just please, i don’t want us to break apart without you hearing the reason behind it”
you let out a few tears to fall and slowly nodded, he was right, you never let him to explain himself, you were too selfish and cared about your feeling that you didn’t even care about his.
he told you the whole story from the start, and you were sobbing your heart out.
“i’m sorry,” you let out, “i’m sorry for refusing to listen to you, i’m sorry for rejecting you so many times, i’m sorry for telling you that i hate you—“
“stop apologizing stupid,” he chuckled, “it’s over now isn’t it? we’re even now right?”
“it’s over now, promise me you won’t ever hide from me something like that again” you extended out your pinky.
“but you said that promises are stu—“
“not when it comes to you” you smiled.
instead of locking his pinky with you he cupped your face and pulled you into a kiss.
“i love you y/n, i’m sorry it took me a while to get back to you” he whispered.
“i love you too sunghoon, im sorry for rejecting you multiple times” you giggled.
“finally! get married already and leave this kingdom please!” you heard your sister in the back.
“i’m sorry that my sister can’t be a bit more like your brothers” you awkwardly smiled and sunghoon laughed.
“she’s right though, let’s get married as soon as possible and get our own kingdom” he pecked your lips.
“IN TWO DAYS??”
“well you said you wanted to get married as soon as possible! i already planned everything!” sunghoon’s mother smiled and hugged the both of you.
“can’t say i’m not biased, i’ve been shipping the two of you ever since you both met” the king added.
“are they gonna have babies as soon as possible now too?”
“NI-KI!!!!”
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strawberripine · 4 months
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yet again emerging from the depths to post my last bits of fable art :,)
also throwing in a large sappy paragraph (slight cw for some discussions of family issues):
being a part of fable smp was such a privilege. when i first joined, it was just me and a couple of my irl blorbos deciding it would be a fun quirky idea to start an smp our own, and now it has become something truly impressive and heartfelt.
specifically from my perspective, playing c!momboo meant a lot to me. she’s similar to me in a lot of ways, obviously she is an extension of me, but i think she’s way more than that. c!momboo was based on another story that means a lot to me: Oneshot. if you’re familiar, her character is extremely influenced by not only the plant woman in act 2, but the world itself that communicates with you throughout the game. the idea of the world itself becoming so vulnerable and weak it becomes sentient really struck me, and I knew immediately that’s what I wanted c!momboo to be. what i didn’t expect was how much of a turn her character made early on, when jamie and swipn approached me half joking about her being their mom within lore. i think that’s what really ended up bringing her to life, and what overall became her main driving force: being a mother.
i’m gonna be kinda vulnerable for a second here: i never thought of exploring motherhood in any story i’ve been a part of, even before fable. the idea always scared me, since I don’t have the best relationship with my own mom, and i thought i would end up doing things wrong. but i think that’s kind of the point. there is no guidebook on how to be a good mom, you have to figure that out yourself, along with help from your kids. c!momboo wasn’t a perfect parent, far from it. she made some pretty intense mistakes, especially early on, and i’ll be the first to admit that playing her through those times was rough. there were moments where i felt i was leaning into the exact parent i would never want to be, and it was scary, but eventually c!momboo learned from those mistakes, making an effort to regain her kids’ trust over time.
c!momboo holds a special place in my heart because of all the things i stated, and while her story is over, i think she’ll always somehow end up in things i create. not by name, but her own courage and strength infused into what i do.
before i wrap this up, i want to mention the one story that really stands out to me from the process of working on fable: when the famous haleygar herself and i the night before the server released were scrambling to help sherbert figure out a title (not only that, but knowing this title would end up being the name of a certain major character later on lol) and eventually settling on Fable, not just because it sounded cool, but because that’s what this server was always meant to be: a story. a story filled with heart and soul poured not just from the cast, but from you guys. i think my favorite part of this project was always seeing what you all created, and how you guys ended up influencing us. our stories wouldn’t have been the same without you guys there, whether that be in chat, or even simply lurking. i’m grateful for all of you who were there, and i really hope you enjoyed the story <3
Until next time,
Momboo <3
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is there a way to experience arknights that doesn't involve playing a gacha game? i kinda wanna see what it's deal is the girls in it are really hot
Yes there is!
There’s an online tool that lets you read the visual novel story sections: https://akgcc.github.io/cc/story.html. It lets you read the main story, event side stories, operator records (mini stories focused on specific operators), it even has modules (upgrades to operators that cost a lot of resources but also give you a short story blurb when you unlock them). It usually takes a bit for new stuff to get added, so it can’t really let you read along with the current ongoing events (unless you can read Chinese, the CN server is 6 months ahead of the global server and I think the story reader gets updates for their stories but I haven’t checked, it might just be the ones on global).
There are 2 8-episode seasons of an Arknights anime covering the first 2 parts of the main story. They’re called “Arknights: Prelude to Dawn” and “Arknights: Perish in Frost”
There are a handful of official manhua covering various groups of characters, including one for the main characters at Rhine Lab (American science company with a lot of well meaning characters working for a flawed corporation with ethics issues) and one for Blacksteel (the mercenary group with Franka, Liskarm, Jessica, and Vanilla, who I’ve been posting a lot about. The new event side story is about Jessica so that’s why. The mangadex fan translations of this one were tagged as “girls love” and then the official translation made it even gayer, highly recommend for foxgirl dragon girl yuri). As well as a few others. There’s even the mostly lighthearted Rhodes Island test kitchen series about different operators making different foods from their cultures and backgrounds and stuff, it’s very cute. Official translations are here https://www.arknights.global/comic but for the ones that haven’t been fully translated you can usually find them fan translated on mangadex.
Speaking of mangadex, there are also 2 other comic/manga/manhua things you can read. There is the light hearted 4 panel series “Arknights Operators!” that has short, usually comedic, comics about various operators and their lives on the Rhodes Island land ship. I don’t think it’s explicitly canon (it has a gag about Hoshiguma bumping into door frames bc she’s so tall, but her “canon height” is 5’11” [no one likes the canon heights]) but it’s pretty fun and cute.
And what I think is the last thing I have the mention is the Arknights anthology manga series. It’s explicitly non-canon as the comics are all made by guest artists, but it is officially published by Arknights. It was only published in Japanese but scanlators have translated a large portion of it and it’s very good.
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pastelpinkkadan · 4 months
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My most blunt, controversial ACOTAR opinions. Nothing is safe, nothing is sacred. Mind the tags for your own peace of mind please.
P.S.: Absolutely not directed at any other blog/person specifically. Just general fandom/shippers.
Elriel/Gw*nriel:
Gwyn is not that important of a character. She is a secondary character whose main purpose in the story was to be Nesta’s friend. She has no connection to any overarching plot. She could literally never be seen again in the books and all the main plot points would still work.
People have inflated Gwyn’s character and importance solely because they ship her with Azriel. And they ship her with Azriel because 1. She is the only other single female character (besides Elain) that he has interacted with. 2. Gwyn is enough of a blank slate for people to project/self insert themselves into and thereby romance themselves with Azriel 3. Gwyn has only been shown in a positive light, with only positive personality traits (good friend and can wield a sword) so there’s no REAL controversy on her character/personality. Because there’s not enough to actually have any controversy.
If Gwyn was actually that important, Emerie would also be as important, if not more so. But 90% of time Emerie is forgotten by the fandom. Even to the point that the theory of an Illyrian plot is somehow given to Az and Gwyn, rather than Emerie. The two people that, arguably, have the least skin in the game concerning that theory. And the reason Emerie is this pushed out of her own potential story line is because she isn’t shipped with Azriel or another Fae male.
If there was no Bonus Chapter Gw*nriel would not exist. Or at the VERY least, it would be acknowledged as the crackship that it is. Because outside of the BC, there is nothing in the main ACOSF to accurately ship them to the degree that the fandom does. Elriel, however, still has several books where canon scenes have taken place. The BC is absolutely not needed to show that Elriel have feelings for each other, we already knew.
“Well Elain gave by TruthTeller, so Elriel isn’t end game!” Is one of the stupidest reaches I’ve seen. TruthTeller was always, OBVIOUSLY, meant to be something lent to Elain for the war. It wasn’t a permanent gift, and Az didn’t say it was. He said he wouldn’t use it TODAY, implying he would expect to use it again in the future. Imagine -
“Well Gwyn gave back the books Nesta recommended to her, so they obviously aren’t friends.”
Thats what y’all sound like. It’s just purposely misinterpreting things in a scene that obviously aren’t there for the sake of your ship. It’s disingenuous and not at all the win you think it is.
You cannot call Azriel an incel/fuck boy for Elain and then ship him with Gwyn in the same breath. If he’s all those things with Elain, he’ll be the same for Gwyn. She is not magically going to make him “better” or a gentleman. Actually, he’s already a gentleman. He just didn’t have sexual thoughts about Gwyn and y’all can’t stand it.
Same vein, but if Azriel had had those sexual thoughts in the BC about anyone else besides Elain there would have been no issue/debate.
If a Gw*nriel book did somehow happen, it would 1000% be for fan service/peer pressure. No previous books have set it up, even the main story in ACOSF. Elriel has been setting up since book 2. It makes sense. Anyone who says it doesn’t just doesn’t want it to happen, mostly because they don’t like Elain. And that’s also mostly because they can’t see themselves in Elain, so they lash out.
Saying Elriels are delusional is the wildest thing, because Elriels have the most canon scenes spread throughout the books, Elain and Azriel have interacted with each other positively the most and the longest, and they are the only potential couple that actually bluntly like each other. They exist outside of misinterpreted bonus chapters and “what if” theories with no real backing.
Elain:
Whether anyone wants to admit it or not, part of the Elain hate IS misogyny. The amount of hate this character receives, compared to what she has actually done in the series, is entirely undeserving. She has received the same level of hate, if not more, than Tamlin, any of the ACOTAR villains, and Nesta, who is still a very controversial character. And for what? Liking Azriel, and not wielding a sword while doing it, apparently.
Elain liking flowers does not determine who she’ll end up with. For fucks sake we didn’t know Nesta liked to read smut or was great dancer until her book. And neither of those things determined her partner. It’s just what she likes. Same with Elain.
Nessian/ACOSF
The idea that Nesta will leave Cassian and make her own court is stupid.
Being anti-ACOSF but Pro-Nesta is a streeeeeetch, because all of Nesta’s actual good character development came from ACOSF. Like, did you like that she was angry and unhealed before? Because that’s where she would still be without all that happened in ACOSF.
People don’t understand the intervention that HAD to happen with Nesta in ACOSF. And I would even venture to say that most people against it have never HAD to have a real intervention with someone to that level. The level of, go to rehab/therapy or you are not allowed to be in my house/take up my resources. Because you will not get better on your own, you will only hurt yourself or others and I won’t enable you anymore. It’s a difficult decision that but often it is NECESSARY. Speaking as someone with several addict family members.
El*cien/Lucien:
All the theories about an El*cien plot line are completely focused on Lucien, and ignore everything built up with Elain. It’s always about Lucien figuring out his heritage, becoming some High Lord of one of the courts, or something with the Band of Exiles. Elain doesn’t have to be involved for any of that to happen. She’s pushed to the side in her own romantic story line. Nothing about her Seer powers, or the fact that she’s apparently been gaining spy abilities, or her place at the Night Court.
Lucien fans make me hate Lucien more than Lucien ever could.
The poor Lulu mindset can die.
While we’re at it, the theory that Elain likes Lucien so much that she avoids him is also stupid. That makes no sense. She loses her boldness around. She got better WHEN HE LEFT. All of Elain’s most powerful moments are when Lucien isn’t around. And that says something.
People cling to 1st book Lucien so much, but he has not been that way SINCE book 1.
Tamlin:
Tamlin already got a redemption arc when he brought Rhys back to life. He doesn’t need another one, and he certainly doesn’t need a full book.
The Tamlin/Elain ship is stupid and only benefits Tamlin, not Elain. Once again placing Elain to the side of her own romance, much like El*cien.
ACOTAR:
If you hate everyone in the IC, you don’t actually like ACOTAR. They’re the majority of the books, including half of ACOSF. And it’s actually really stupid to hate the IC and still pretend you’re an ACOTAR fan. Because, again, the IC is the MAJORITY of ACOTAR. Please read something you actually like.
If you hate the entire main story and main characters of ACOTAR, but like one or two characters, you don’t like ACOTAR. You see yourself in a character, and want the story to reflect what YOU want to happen to that character (ie, yourself), and can’t handle that it didn’t. You don’t actually like the ACOTAR series. Again, maybe it’s time to read something else.
3 Acherons x 3 Bat Boys isn’t cliche. It’s a pattern. It’s a literary motif. It’s a theme. It is a pattern that SJM has naturally set up, the fact that you can see and assume that Elriel would be apart of that just means you can recognize basic literary devices in a fantasy novel. Which is the POINT.
I have no intention of debating anything. I’m just stating my opinions on my blog, like everyone else gets to do. So take that as you will.
Anyways, thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
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planetnini · 1 year
Text
ONE — MAYBE I COULD FIX HIM ?
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with the week you're having, you don't have it in you anymore to deal with anymore bullshit and take it out on your asshole of a roommate gojo satoru (3.8k words)
content. cheating (we don’t do the cheating), named ex: hiroto, shoko is an extremely good judge of character, geto suguru the man that you are, gojo is a bit of an asshole, reader goes off at the end (rightfully so) <33
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Whoever said that if you do what you love, you'll never work another day in your life was a liar. Sure it was a well-meaning sentiment and while it filled your soul with some semblance of hope on some days, it was the main reason you were struggling with your degree and drowning in work. 
So much for dreaming big…
“What’s got your panties in a twist?” the girl questioned. The smoke from her cigarette created an odour that permeated the air as you let out a sigh, leaning back on the wall.
“That shit’s gonna kill you one day.” you muttered moving your head toward the cigarette in between her fingers as you turned your attention to the scene in front of you, waiting for her to finish.
“Make sure I have a nice funeral.” she chuckled before puffing out a cloud of smoke as she pulled the cigarette away from her mouth. When you didn't laugh at her comment, she just stared at you. Your eyes were closed and breathing a little jagged as she observed. Did you think she wouldn't notice?
Ieriri does not reveal much about herself, but everyone that was friends with her knew she was deathly loyal and cared for her friends in a unique way. She put the stick up to her mouth inhaling as she spoke, "You look like shit.” 
“You know how my afternoon lectures are.” she sighed.
She put out her cigarette in the ashtray bin and tucked her hands into her pocket. She was not at all convinced by your story. 
“Hold it Missy.” she demanded and of course your feet stopped in its tracks before her, “Tell me what’s wrong now.”
“I’ve been hearing things about Hiroto.”
You don’t think you’ve met someone that hated Hiroto more than your best friend herself. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as you mentioned your boyfriend or as she called him ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’. She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, her lips pulling into a pout. She always had a thing for the dramatics.
"What else is new? Hiroto is a scumbag."
"Ieiri!" you scolded, frowning at her choice of words. 
She scoffed with a shrug before she linked your arms in hers and started walking toward the cafe. You had no idea what she had against Hiroto. He was the most popular guy in your university, and he was the one everyone wanted to be with, but it came as a surprise when he chose you. He had eyes for you, and you couldn't understand why anyone would want you of all people so he asked you out one day and you didn't have the heart to say no. Even if you had liked him at the time, which you didn’t, you still couldn't have said no, it would have been an opportunity wasted. He wasn’t the nicest guy but you would say he treated you well so you defended him every time.
“I still don't understand what you see in him.”
You smiled faintly, “As much as you doubt him, he really does care about me."
You could tell that Ieiri didn’t approve. She never made her opinion on him a secret, and you don’t expect her to start now. 
She rolled her eyes again and sighed, "Yeah, well you should really find someone better, like a certain someone."
It was your turn to roll your eyes at the thought of who she was referring to: a certain white haired roommate of yours. 
“I hope you’re not trying to suggest who I think you are?” you stated as she gave you a sly smirk before shrugging.
“Have things with Satoru been better?”
You paused, contemplating on how to respond as you both walked into the cafe. You turned your attention to the menu as you stood in line. Your eyes scanned over the pamphlet you received when you walked in as you also looked at the assortment of baked goods and pastries. 
"I still can't quite figure him out." you muttered as you stared at some of the menu items.
Her curiosity was piqued as you said this, already knowing what she would order as she stared at you now. "What's he up to now?" she asked.
When you got to university, you opted to follow your dreams and your heart and while you looked forward to finishing your degree, reaching your dreams and goals was expensive, which was something you had known as a teen. It explained why you had to get a job that definitely does not pay minimum wage and why you had to room with Satoru Gojo, as per Ieiri’s request, just to be able to do what you love.
At first, you had thanked Ieiri for convincing the prestigious Gojo Satoru to be your roommate at the start but when he moved in, you were less than grateful.
Gojo Satoru was a scion of a wealthy and successful family making him the epitome of privilege: rich, handsome, and effortlessly at the top of his class without ever needing to study– he pretty much had everything handed to him on a silver platter. 
The first few months were turbulent, to say the least. Gojo acted like a spoiled prince, which was not surprising, always expecting things to be done for him and showing little regard for your personal space or boundaries. Arguments were frequent and inevitable but you shouldn't be complaining, he was the one paying most of the rent. 
Entitlement dripped from his every pore but then something shifted. With you trying to assert your own space and independence against his behaviour and actions, it was as though he had picked up on your growing frustration and decided to turn over a new leaf or whatever. 
It started with small gestures- he'd clean up after himself, occasionally ask if you needed anything from the store, and even helped out with chores around the apartment. These moments, though rare, caught you off guard. You couldn't help but wonder if it was all an act, a facade he put on simply because you were sharing a living space. Deep down, you were convinced that the 'nice' Gojo was just a pretence to keep the peace.
Yet, there were times when you couldn't ignore the fact that he seemed genuinely concerned about you, though these moments were fleeting– hidden beneath layers of sarcasm and his usual arrogance.
“He is just utterly unpredictable." you sighed as you put a hand over your eyes in frustration.
"Sounds like Satoru." she chuckled.
“I don’t know, it just feels like he’s nice to me because I’m friends with you.”
Shoko raised an eyebrow, a hint of concern in her eyes. "Are you saying he's being fake around you because of our friendship?"
"Yeah, sometimes it feels that way. Like he's just putting on a show."
Shoko's lips pulled into a small frown, her eyebrows knitting together, "That doesn't sound like him at all. Maybe he's just trying to be friends with you."
You had been so focused on the topic at hand, you hadn't realised you were at the front of the line.
You shrugged, "It's probably nothing.”
"Stop thinking about Satoru, you’re holding up the line." she scoffed as she smiled at the cashier.
You gave the worker an apologetic smile before turning to the person behind you, "Sorry, about that."
After ordering your favourite drink and some pastries, you approached a small table to sit. “I don’t know. I mean I guess Gojo and I are friends but still, I’m a bit suspicious.”
“I don’t think he would do something like that for my sake.”
"It just feels like you're trying to get him on my good side, I wonder why that is." you hummed with a tilt of your head, raising your brows at her.
"I think my best friend just deserves someone better." she shrugged with a pout.
"And Gojo is 'someone better'?" you scoffed.
Her hesitance was telling and you could see the gears shifting in her head, "That's like asking if apple juice is better than orange juice."
You rolled your eyes at her and looked around the café. The coffee beans alongside the soft humming of the machine, muffled speaking, jazz that played through the speakers really defined the atmosphere. Perhaps this place would become a regular study spot if they nailed just how you liked your drinks. 
“Thank you for coming with me by the way.”
“No problem.”
You had a small smile on your lips as Ieiri decided to fold the receipt she had in her hand into origami, your eyes leisurely scanned over the cafe's charming layout but then, as fate would have it, your heart suddenly felt like it had been gripped by an icy hand, causing it to skip a beat.
The cafe that once felt spacious now seemed to shrink around you, constricting your senses. Your gaze, once idly roaming the room, had fixated on an all-too-familiar figure.
There, amidst the warm, cosy ambiance of the cafe, sat Hiroto. He was not alone. He was sitting across from another girl, their faces close. A rare smile was etched across his features, who was she to be able to make him look at her like that? He had never looked at you that way… 
Maybe it was a friend?
Ieiri, perceptive as ever, noticed the abrupt change in your expression. Her eyes followed your gaze instinctively, and when she locked onto what you were seeing, her face transformed from one of carefree enjoyment to sheer disbelief and anger. 
Their smiles were flirtatious and you could feel the creeping feeling of fear settle in your bones.
They were completely engrossed in each other, oblivious to the world around them as they leaned in for a kiss. Definitely not a friend.
Ieiri was right. He was a scumbag.
Your mind couldn't quite grasp what was unfolding before your eyes, reality not even seeming real for a second.
Confrontation was the last thing on your mind. You didn't want to cause a scene, not here, not now, even if every fibre of your being screamed for justice.
Shoko's fingers tightened around her origami creation, crumpling it as her anger flared up. Her eyes locked onto the two with an intensity that could have scorched the room. 
She had always been vocal about her disdain for him, and this seemed like the perfect moment to let it all out. Without hesitation, Shoko started to push her chair back, her intention clear: she was going to confront Hiroto, give him a piece of her mind, and let the whole café know about his deceit. To berate him for everything he did to you, everything he did that you were too blind to see. You sat there in silence, your heart heavy with disbelief and betrayal but instinctively your hand reached out for hers. You shook your head ever so slightly, silently pleading with her not to make a scene.
“We can't just let him get away with this." she whispered back, her frustration growing by the minute.
Shoko's anger was palpable, and her lips quivered with the words she wanted to unleash but she respected your unspoken plea, if only for now, and reluctantly sank back into her chair waiting for your order number to be called out. Once you received the drinks and pastries, the two of you continued walking back to your shared apartment, the weight of the situation heavy on your mind as a tear slipped from your eyes. You had no goddamn appetite now.
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The evening had taken an unsettling turn for you. After returning from a troubling encounter at the café that you wished you could just forget, you found yourself back in your cosy apartment that you shared with the Satoru Gojo, the most popular boy on campus.
As you pushed off your shoes and set them by the door, you overheard some of Gojo's friends chatting in the main area. Forcing a smile, you greeted the people in the room as Ieiri followed behind you, making her presence known as she greeted them as well. You placed the bag of pastries on the table, knowing that for certain, Gojo would inhale them when he got his hands on them.
“Hey, do you have a smoke?” Geto asked Ieiri as he looked over his shoulder. Next thing you knew, Geto had moved to sit across from you at the island counter while you sipped at your glass of water, mind wandering back to your jerk of a boyfriend. “How are you?” he inquired, patiently waiting for your response.
“I’m alright, thanks,” you mumbled, trying to muster a genuine smile in response to his concern. 
Geto waved a hand in front of your face as your thoughts drifted. Suddenly, you were locked into eye contact with him. Leaning down to eye level, he asked, “You sure you’re okay? You look a bit tired,” a playful chuckle escaping his lips.
You sighed a little before shaking your head resolutely, “Just had a terrible fucking week.”
Geto chuckled, “Tell me about it.” he scoffed, commiserating with your struggles. Although he didn’t know the full story, it didn’t matter, you were seen for a second and it felt good, "I swear they have it out for us."
Ieiri was best friends with both Gojo and Geto in high school. You never really understood their dynamic at all but the brief interactions shared with Geto had been enough for you to come up with a comprehensive answer. 
Many people around had said that Geto was like the sun personified, radiating this warmth and light wherever he went. His presence had an undeniable magnetic quality, drawing people toward him but he could leave an indelible mark on anyone in his presence. It was quite possible that what was true, made you smile a little.
Gojo's friends continued their lively chatter, sharing stories and laughter and it wasn’t until you heard the tap turn on that you realised Gojo is standing right next to you drinking water aswell.
“Hey. You smoking or what? I don’t have all day, Suguru,” Shoko chimed in, her voice cutting through the conversation.
“That shit will kill you one day Suguru.” he muttered next to you.
“Funny. You said the same thing to me today.” Ieiri commented and you could feel all their gazes land on you.
“I guess we’re a lot alike.” Gojo joked and you feel yourself smile at his words as Geto and Shoko shared a look.
Geto cleared his throat, a hand coming up to your shoulder, “Things will get better, I promise.” he smiled as both he and Shoko exited the apartment for their smoke.
The atmosphere inside the apartment shifted slightly as you were left alone in the kitchen with Gojo.
“What was that about?” he spoke, regarding the comment that Geto had just made. 
You turned your attention to Gojo and shook your head dismissively, “It’s nothing.”
“You sure? You can talk to me, you know?”
“I know,” you nodded, “It’s nothing, really.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” he took another sip of his water. 
You paused for a moment, “If I knew you had guests over, I would've brought them some as well.” you stated, pointing at the pastries from the café in the bag.
Gojo raised an eyebrow with a smirk. "So those pastries are for me?" he inquired, his playful tone evident.
"Don't push it." you scoffed, your heart warming at his teasing for just a second. There is suddenly a nagging feeling that tells you he is just being nice to you due to the circumstances.
You clear your throat as you tear your gaze away from him, "Are your friends staying for dinner? If they are, I might skip."  You weren’t exactly feeling like yourself, and would rather not be spending time around people you hardly knew. You were just getting warmed up to the man next to you anyways.
“They’re not staying over. Even if they were, I don't really encourage skipping meals.” Gojo replied, his tone shifting between genuine concern and playfulness.
You can’t even force yourself to smile at his concern, you wanted to keep the discussion going, but your recent experience at the café had left you feeling on edge. "I guess I’ll see you at dinner then." you teased, your playful tone masking the underlying curiosity you had about his intentions. Did he truly want to be friends with you or was he doing it just out of pity? 
He nodded at you and you retreated back into your room to grab some clothes but the voices of his friends drifted into your ears.
“Was that Hiroto’s girlfriend?”
“Yeah.” you heard the familiar white haired boy reply.
Their conversation had been about you, and you knew it. Trying to push yourself to stop them from eavesdropping, you shook your head and continued at finding some comfortable clothes for tonight. You needed to do something to take your mind off the events from earlier.
"Wait, seriously? I thought he was dating someone else."
Their words cast a shadow over your thoughts and only amplified your bad mood. You clenched your fists, trying to push down the mixture of anger and hurt.
“I don’t know how she’s still with him.”
The weight of their judgement had hit you harder than ever, especially after what you had witnessed earlier. As you contemplated confronting them about it, you could hear the hushed murmurs growing louder, escalating your frustration as a couple of voices interject. 
“She’s kind of pathetic. Don’t you think so?”
You weren't ready to hear them belittle you any further, so you decided to retreat to the sanctuary of the shower, hoping the water would wash away the bitterness. 
You turned on the water, stepping into the shower trying to drown out the sound of their voices echoing in your head. You wished you hadn't noticed how little effort Gojo made to defend you. Perhaps you were wrong to think the two of you were friends to begin with and considering his track record, maybe you shouldn’t have been so lenient to think he was different.
As you emerged from the shower, refreshed but still vulnerable, you were in the confines of your room as you messaged Shoko about what had happened. You knew she would give her a piece of her mind when she saw him next. You laid in bed, letting out some breaths steadying your heartrate as you heard Gojo call for you from outside your door. You weren't prepared for this, not after what you just heard between him and his friends.
With your emotions still raw and your nerves on edge, you slowly opened the door to find Gojo standing there, his usual confident demeanour softened.
His presence in the dimly lit hallway was both comforting and disconcerting. You met his gaze, your eyes holding a mixture of anxiety and frustration.
Gojo's voice was gentle but laced with concern as he spoke, "I sent my friends home.”
You nodded, not even bringing it in yourself to even berate him for being an absolute asshole to you when he thought you weren’t listening.
“I noticed you've been quiet since you got home. Is everything okay? Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?"
Your emotions, a turbulent whirlwind of hurt and anger, surged within you. With a deep breath, you finally found your voice, but your words came out sharp and accusatory, "I don't appreciate it Gojo," you began, your tone wavering but determined, "I know what you and your friends say about me when you think I'm not listening."
Gojo's brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"
"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about," you continued, your voice quivering with anger.
You could see Gojo's expression shift from confusion to realisation, and a pang of regret flickered in his eyes. His usually playful demeanour had vanished, replaced by a sombre and sincere expression.
"I'm sorry," he finally whispered, his voice sincere but unsure of how to proceed.
You felt tears well up in your eyes replaying the pain of your boyfriend cheating on you and the callous things they said behind your back. The disappointment of his apology settled in- he’s only sorry because he got caught. 
“That was the last thing I expected from you.” you spat out. "I thought…” you let out a deep breath, your words hanging with every ounce of pain that you’d felt today. You shook your head as you continued, “I thought we were friends."
"We are." he declared, his eyes wavering now. With guilt or concern, you couldn't tell but you knew he didn't really care.
"We're not." you emphasised, still burning with the fury of all the events that transpired today. "Every day, I see you look at me with those eyes that say how pathetic you think I look."
Gojo's brow furrowed in frustration with himself. He wanted to say the right words, to offer comfort, but he struggled to find them. He stepped a little closer, his hands outstretched towards you. You stepped back, your heart pounding erratically, and he instantly retreated.
“You have no idea how much it hurts but I guess I shouldn’t have trusted you to begin with.”
Without giving him a chance to speak, you shut the door with trembling hands. You felt a thud against the door on the opposite end and you could hear him muttered a few curse words as you slid down the surface defeatedly.
His face that was etched with guilt and regret. That look was embedded in your head as you let the tears slip down your face. He gave a resigned sigh before turning away and trudging off towards the kitchen to make dinner– alone.
You stayed in your room until you heard the door to his room close after a couple hours of distracting yourself: with studying, messaging Shoko how much you hated Gojo, and cleaning your room. Retreating from your bedroom as quietly as you can, you see a plate of food he made for you wrapped up with a small post it note on your favourite drink next to it.
I know you're still mad at me, but I hope you don’t skip dinner. Eat well, you'll need the strength... ᕙ(‾̀◡‾́)ᕗ
You scoffed at his note, scrunching it up, putting it in your pocket. It was all just lip-service.
As you sat there alone, your eyes welled up with tears, and you could feel your composure slipping away. The weight of the day became too much to bear. Your heart ached, the hurt and betrayal coursing through you as you sobbed softly.
What a terrible fucking week.
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tags! @stsgluver @pandoraium @cottonheadedninnymugggins @satoryaa @bbyxxm @itsthemodelinme @sattosugu
notes. this is not proofread. i don't think the last half of this is as good but... we move!!! i'm sick and wanted to give back with the first chapter since i have some free time to write now <3 it gets better i promise, please comment and give me some love (or feedback), thank you :)
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marlynnofmany · 1 year
Text
The Little Things
“It’s the unexpected stuff that gets me,” I said, swirling my drink. “Like, I’ll expect alien food on the alien spaceship, but the first time I heard offworld music, I thought the engine was about to fail.”
“Oh, I know, right?” agreed the other human, waving her own drink around. She hadn’t spilled it on the spaceport floor yet, but her ship had heavier gravity than this, and she was still adjusting. “And have you smelled what passes for perfume among the Mesmers? It’s like someone cut an onion and rubbed it in hot peppers.”
“Wow, I haven’t come across that yet,” I said with a glance back toward the spacedocks. “We’ve got two Mesmers onboard. Maybe they haven’t felt like getting fancy.” I tried to picture either of my exoskeletoned crewmates preparing for a high-class event, and my brain shorted out. Neither of them seemed the type. Zhee would stand by the punchbowl and complain about everything, while Trrili would hide behind curtains and jump out to startle people. Probably.
“It might be a courtship perfume,” the other human was saying. “Either that or it’s really expensive. I swear, if our navigator wore that on a regular basis, I’d have to invest in one of those high-quality personal air filters. It was bad.”
“Enough to make you miss the people who overdid the perfume back home?” I asked.
She set her drink down and leaned forward. “Enough to make me miss the body odor back home. And I don’t say that lightly!”
“I’ll bet!” I said with a toast of my own drink. It was cherry soda in a champagne glass. The Frillians running this restaurant were so proud of their Earth foods, and I didn’t have the heart to tell them that was anything other than a perfectly normal combination. And the fried-chicken-on-French-toast was actually good.
“It has been a while since I was home, though,” she said, picking at the remains of her macaroni and peas. “Earlier I saw somebody wearing a scarf like my mom’s, and now I keep thinking of all the things I miss. The tree outside my bedroom window, the cat purring, the sound of rain over an old TV show.”
I had a mild epiphany. “Well,” I said, finishing my drink. “I can’t help with all of that, but if you want to make a quick visit to my ship…” I leaned with a conspiratorial grin and whispered, “I’ve got kittens.”
Her gasp made people at three different tables look at us. “Oh my god, yes! Here, I’ll pay for your food. Where did you get kittens??”
“It’s a long story,” I said as she tapped at the payment interface. “I’ll tell you while they’re busy trying to fight your shoes.”
With a happy squeal that caused more than one wince from the aliens nearby, she swept our dishes into the recycler, then we were off to the spacedocks.
~~~
The ongoing backstory of the main character from this book. More to come!
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espinosaurusrexex · 1 year
Text
Forever, of course.
SteveRogers x Female!Reader
summary: Steve has a crush on you but your flirty character isn’t making things easy for him. Now he even has to marry you to please a 6-year-old superfan of his. Whether that’s a good plan or not, isn’t quite clear for Steve yet.
a/n: I think this will be the last AI-adaptive story but it was a lot of fun! Shoutout to @RandomTingsForFun on beta.character.ai for having created the character that helped me write this story (and the Bucky one).
Word count: 4k
warnings: a Stevie in love, an attempted funny reader, and a super excited 6-year-old (she carries the story tbh), this is really just super fluffy
・゚✫* 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 。✭・゚
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Steve shook his head at the sight of your chat history. It wasn’t too long ago when he didn’t even know how to listen to music on the device he was holding in his hands, let alone write a text message in less than 30 seconds. Now, he was bickering with you, and he had to admit it was even a little fun to wait for a response from you. Of course, Steve didn’t do anything else in the time he waited for your reply. He just stared at the screen in his hand and willed his heartbeat to slow a little. 
*ping* Why would that be important? So? Maybe I have been talking to Sam about you. Have you been talking about me with Bucky?
Steve: No I haven’t! And it is important because if he’s badmouthing me, then you’d believe him. What has he told you anyway?
You: Just the usual. Save the world this, Captain America that. I stopped listening when he started obsessing over your shield again.
You: Wait. Did you seriously think Sam would say something bad about you? That guy is obsessed with you.
Steve just laughed at your antics. Sam loved the shield for some reason, but every time Steve would give it to him to ‘throw it one time’ Bucky would intervene and ‘show him how it’s done’. 
*ping* Anyway what I actually wanted to ask is if you’d come to my niece’s house with me this weekend. She’s a huge Avenger fan and I might have promised her to meet one as her birthday present 😬
Steve: Of course, I will! I would feel bad if you made such a promise and I wasn't able to make it. And I bet she'll know who her favorite Avenger is after a visit from The Cap 😉
You: ugh please don’t call yourself that. ever. 
You: I’ll pick you up Saturday at 1:30? 
Steve: Yeah, sounds good! I'll make sure to clear my schedule. How old is your niece by the way? And what’s her name?
You: You can call her Izzy. And she’s turning 6 this Thursday. Be nice. And make sure to talk me up a bit, will ya? I mean, I’m already her favorite aunt but just making sure...
Steve: How could she not love you? But I’ll do it anyway. I’ll talk you up so much you’ll never be able to escape my praise! What’s her favorite food?
You: weirdly enough it's carrots, that child is strange. Says vegetables make her a superhero or something. 
Steve: I mean she’s not wrong. Carrots are great for your eyes! What does she think of Iron Man? I need to know my chances against the competition.
You: I just asked her and she said she doesn’t care about Tony because you are her one true love. 
You: I told her that’s not possible because you are already mine. Now we’re in a big fight so thanks for that.
Steve: why would you say that?
You: I like to see her freak. Don’t worry about it, captain. It was just a joke 
You: ...or was it 👀
Steve: I don’t believe you. You’re lying.
He got a little nervous. But it was a good nervous.
You: why? Do you want me to? 
You: Am I making you nervooouuus?
Steve could practically see you wiggle your eyebrows with a grin. A silly idea flashed past his mind, and he felt like grabbing it.
Steve: You need to stop before I accidentally propose to you.
Nothing - just a second, though. Then:
*ping* you have a ring?
Steve: I can get one in less than an hour. Meet me at the chapel on main and I’m all yours. 
You: I’m stunned. I’ve taught you well. 
Steve: 😊 I’ll see you Saturday, doll. 
Steve sat back on his sofa. That girl is really something. A smile broke loose on his face at the silly thought of marrying you. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind if it happened. Out of all the people he knew, you were the only one he’d want to spend the rest of his life with. You were fun and you made him loosen up. He was a whole new man around you and he loved it. Because being in your presence was easy, and comforting. There was nothing to worry about.
He sighed before putting his phone down and staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t wait to see you again.
❁ ❁ ❁
Steve stepped out of the door and smiled upon spotting your car. You were already waving at him, a beautiful smile adorning your face and Steve felt his heart skip. Car rides with you were nice. You always had some soft music playing. Always making sure it was nothing too funky so he felt comfortable. Still, he was a little nervous. It wasn’t every day that he go to meet someone who looked up to him - well, actually, it was every day - but this one was different. Because it was your family and Steve needed to make a good expression. 
It wasn’t long before you pulled up to your sister's house. But before you could even reach the front door, a little girl jumped out of the door and ran toward you with wild screeches. 
“Auntieeee!!!! OH MY GOD, you really did it! You invited Captain America!” The girl jumped up and down beside you and Steve couldn’t help his smile from spreading. Izzy was adorable - very loud - but adorable. Concentrating on it made his nervousness subside a little.
Then she turned around and stared up at him with wide eyes. He could have sworn there were little stars sparkling in them when he crouched down to her height and extended his hand.
“Hey there, little lady. It’s so nice to meet you, I’m Steve.”
“I know that!” The 6-year-old giggled as Steve shook her hand. But when he was about to let go, her tiny fingers grabbed onto his wrist and dragged him up the driveway. “I want to show you something! It’s soooo cool!” 
Steve was still a little cautious as she dragged him to her room. His only experience with kids came from Sam’s nephews and prior he had only gotten to hold a couple baby’s for pictures. He didn’t know how to navigate the situation, but he decided he would just rock with it.
Your niece pushed the white door with her name brightly colored on a sign hanging on her eye level open and revealed a tornado aftermath of action figures. He was able to spot most of the avengers laying scattered around a dinosaur toy but the overwhelming red, white, and blue covering her room was undeniable. There was a poster of Steve hanging by the desk and a bunch of her own drawings framing the magazine shot. Izzy appeared next to Steve again, holding a small action figure of himself in her hands. 
“My aunt gave me this one. It’s my first one.” She reached up to Steve and barely passed his hip with her little arms. The figure was well loved - he could see it from here. And when he bent down to retrieve it, your niece pulled him down further and whispered a giggly ‘you’re our favorite avenger’ into his ear.
His heart swelled at the excitement presented in front of him. It was adorable, and he could see a little of you in the little girl nervously treading beside him. 
“I’m your favorite, huh?” He said, his voice full of affection. Steve usually wasn’t the kind of person to get mushy over an adorable child, but the way her face lit up was too cute. The little Cap figure in her hands was pretty cute, too. “My, my. I must be pretty special then.” His thumb stroked over the blue helmet in her hands.
Lost in thought and seriously flattered by being the hero that inspired this impressive collection, he almost didn’t notice how Izzy threw her hands in the air. “So special! My mom says I will marry someone as special as you one day, but my aunt says there is no one like you. That is so mean!” Her little chubby cheeks puffed with a pout and Steve had to hold back his laugh. The 6-year-old had no idea what you implied with that comment, but he still felt more pride from being called special by you and your niece than from any medal of honor he had ever gotten.
“Well, a girl your age shouldn’t worry about things like that. But who knows, maybe I will be part of your family one day.”
“Really?!” Wide eyes stared back at him and Steve could practically feel the floor vibrating when he nodded with a laugh. Izzy held out her finger and then she exclaimed a rushed ‘stay here’ before zooming past him and out the door.
Steve stayed a little longer and admired Izzy’s room before he heard an excited ‘Captain America said I can marry him!’ Which made him instantly rush to the source.
He spotted her clinging to her mother’s leg, giddy and jumpy. But your sister just shared a laugh with you over the kitchen counter. “I don’t think he meant it like that, buttercup.” Steve watched your sister explain before his eyes got stuck on the little frown on your face. Was that a hint of jealousy, he was detecting? “But if he marries your aunt, he will be your uncle and just as much part of the family.” A little fire hushed past your older sister’s face. It was a look of mischief he had seen you hold all too well. Steve’s cheeks heated when you caught him leaning in the doorway, scratching his neck at the slightly awkward situation. 
“That works?”
“That’s how it works, baby.”
Izzy turned with excitement and within a second she was before Steve again. “You have to ask my aunt to marry you! Right now!!” She ordered with a stomp of her foot. “Then you can be my uncle and we can hang out every day!”
Steve’s eyes wandered from the six-year-old to you and his heart picked up its pace at the laugh you shared with your sister. There was no harm in a little play pretend, right?
So, he knelt down in front of you and when your name traveled past his lips softly, he almost imagined a grasp coming from you. “Will you,” his head tilted with a wink, “marry me?”
You hid your laugh behind your hands as they covered your mouth in feigned astonishment. But Steve caught the little glimmer in your eyes at his little show. He continued to take your hand as he threw together a little speech for Izzy to hear, and when the child began excitedly jumping up and down beside him, your face softened. 
“Oh, Steve! This is so unexpected!” You clutched your chest and your sister chuckled beside you. Steve felt a tinge of nervousness wash over him then, but he would be okay with a fake rejection - he wasn’t sure if Izzy would, though. “Of course, I’ll marry you! Come here you big, hunky, handsome superhero!”
And as if he hadn’t been prepared for you to agree so quickly, Steve felt his cheeks heat up. He couldn’t deny that the words you described him with had his stomach tingle with excitement, and before he could help himself, he leaned forward and kissed our cheek.
“That was the easiest marriage proposal ever,” he mumbled beside you to which you just slightly pulled from his embrace. 
“What? You’ve done that before? Are you already cheating on me, Rogers?” You raised your brows suspiciously, but Steve was only able to shake his head with a smile before Izzy blared into his ear again. 
“A wedding! A wedding!” She swirled by him like a tornado, immediately collecting things around the house. “Mom, get all the stuffies, ready! We have to do a wedding!!!” And then she was off to prepare the quickest wedding in history. 
Steve shook his head as his arm remained around your waist. “What did I get myself into?” He mumbled to himself before turning to you. “Do I dare ask what a six-year-old’s idea of an official marriage ceremony looks like?”
“I think Paddington Bear will be your best man and if I’m lucky, my sister gets to be my maid of honor, but who knows.” You shrugged with a laugh that warmed Steve’s heart all over again. 
❁ ❁ ❁
Not even ten minutes later, Steve found himself kneeling beside a makeshift altar with a bunch of toys and stuffed animals as wedding guests. Action figure Cap had made best man and was neatly propped up behind him. Your sister had officially been crowned the ‘disco machine’ along with a lengthy speech on how important the right song was for the bride’s entrance. Steve had fought hard to keep his face steady, but when Izzy had suggested ‘Party Rock Anthem’, he’d lost it. When really, he was just proud, he knew the song because you had shown it to him the other week - it was Izzy’s favorite. 
You had been instructed to wait behind the couch until the music started to play, and Steve felt himself get a little nervous. It was silly, but somehow his desire to have this wedding according to your niece’s wishes was a lot more important to him than he had initially thought. 
“Now what do we do?” He asked as he leaned over to Izzy, but that was when the girl gave her mother the ‘sign’ - which was the chicken dance, of course - and his eyes immediately swerved to you. He could see the amusement in your gaze as you bit back a laugh.
Izzy wasn’t wasting any time, as soon as you had reached the altar, she put your’s and Steve’s hands together and immediately began talking. Steve had had barely any time to wipe the sweat from his clammy fingers before they connected with yours, but you didn’t seem to care. He smiled as he watched you listen to your niece’s little speech.
“We are gathered here today, to make Captain America my uncle,” she started, and both you and he struggled to keep it together. It was cute though, and something about becoming this little girl’s uncle excited Steve like nothing had in a long time. “Mr, Captain America, will you take my aunt as your wife?”
Izzy’s eyes were serious as she waited for Steve’s answer. And when he didn’t do so fast enough, she leaned over and whispered the answer to him.
“I will,” Steve chuckled and gave your hands a small squeeze.
Then Izzy’s eyes wandered to you. “Do I even have to ask?” She said with her adorably high voice and everyone started laughing. 
“Yes, I will take Steve as my husband,” you answered with the same squeeze of your hand as Izzy imitated the audience cheering.
“You are now husband and wife. Now, kiss, kiss, kiss!!!” It was a little awkward, but Steve leaned in, anyway, to press a gentle kiss to your cheek. He looked at you again and the spark in your eyes was a little brighter as that smile lit up your face again. You looked beautiful, Steve thought, and his heart jumped in his chest at the realization.
“Wohooooooo!” Your sister cheered loudly and ripped Steve out of his trance.
“This is so awesome! You have to come to every family dinner and we can be best friends forever!!” Izzy must have eaten a bag of gummy worms with the way she was vibrating to the song coming out of the little pink CD player. Steve was sure he’d never seen such a hyper six-year-old before. 
“Every family dinner?” He asked her as Izzy swayed his hands to the music. When his eyes caught yours, you just shrugged. "Forever?"
"Of course!" Izzy exclaimed as Steve spun her around. His eyes stayed locked on you, however. Forever didn't sound so bad...
“Looks like you’re stuck with me.” You laughed, but Steve didn’t mind that in the slightest.
❁ ❁ ❁
The evening had come sooner than anyone had anticipated. Steve had been so occupied with Izzy all day, he had forgotten all about the time. It didn’t bother him too much, though. He had fun, but exhausting as well. And now that he was finally sitting in your car again, his head leaning against the headrest and enjoying the silence for a moment, he felt how much energy it had really cost him. He would do it again, though - especially if it meant marrying you over and over for eternity. 
His eyes opened when you sighed beside him. You hadn’t so much as bothered to start the car just yet, and Steve was kind of happy about that. 
You smiled at him when his head turned to you, still leaning back with a dreamy smile himself. “Who would have thought that we would get married today?” You chuckled with a shake of your head. “And you didn’t even give me a ring. I should reconsider my standards.”
“A ring, you say? Well, you are married to the greatest superhero in the world - according to your niece - so I think we’re going to need something pretty special...” Steve joked as he turned in his seat to look through the car, and when he spotted the right thing, the smile returned got his face. “Should I do the honors?”
And then he took the lid off his water bottle and popped the plastic ring off to place it on your finger. 
“It’s perfect, blue like your eyes,” you laughed watching the big plastic ring hang from your finger. “I’m gonna have to get that resized, though. You must think I’m fat.” You shook your head. “Wow, not even a day in, and I already have things to tell my therapist about.” But the mischievous glimmer in your eyes told Steve that you were only joking. 
“Do I really need to say it, doll?” He took your hand in his before spinning the plastic piece. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” He whispered, secretly meaning every word.
You laughed it off but Steve didn’t miss the stutter in your smile at his words. It made the butterflies in his stomach go wild. 
“So what should our first act as a fake married couple be? Celebratory drinks at the Stark Tower rooftop bar?”
"Stark Tower... that sounds good to me.”
The engine roared to life and soon, the faint music was playing in your car again, the streetlights passed him by and the full moon shone above the New York City skyline. But Steve didn't care, he had more beautiful things to look at. 
❁ ❁ ❁
“You’re what now? Married?! And I wasn’t invited?!” Sam’s shocked face yelled across the bar, making few agents turn their heads with intrigue. 
You chuckled before leaning your head against Steve’s shoulder. The second Martini seemed to already work its wonders on you, but Steve loved how close you were. 
“Married by a six-year-old. Count that as you will, but I have a ring on my finger and I’m not telling you how much it cost.” You stretched your hand over the counter to show off the blue piece of plastic and Natasha just laughed at the cute story.
“So, how is the newlywed life?” She leaned on her hands to play along while Sam still tried to get over his non-invitation to a fake wedding. “You guys talking about kids yet?”
That startled Steve a little but he tried his best to keep a straight face - he failed. The thought of having a family with you did things to him he couldn’t explain if he wanted to. The warmth in his stomach spread to his heart and his arm almost instinctively came up to press you further into his side. 
“Who knows, I wouldn’t mind a couple mini me’s.” He shrugged with a low smile. He loved this little game more and more. It just got harder and harder to remind himself that it was just that - a game.
“Hold your horses, now. You’re not the one squeezing them out of your body, Mr. Rogers.” You patted his chest and sighed theatrically. “I can already see that I will be home alone with a bunch of kids and you’re working late every night. Our life will fall apart!” Your hand brushed over your forehead as your head fell back like that of a damsel in distress. 
The group laughed at the little performance, but Steve was a little quieter now. Somehow, he couldn’t rid himself of the feeling that he needed to tell you how much he really cared. He’d never let your life fall apart - not when he was able to prevent it. And while he sat there with his friends, laughing about something as ridiculous as Captain America settling down, he contemplated in silence, if all this life had really been worth it when he would end up alone in the end - giving up the dream of an easy life he’s had for a century. 
❁ ❁ ❁
It was about 12am when Steve and you stopped before your door in the hallway. His eyes were glued to you, his mind racing with scenarios this could go. He had decided to tell you about his feelings about two hours ago, and ever since, he had tried to come up with the best thing to say. But even though talking to you was the easiest thing he’d ever done, and even though you were already married - fake married - he didn’t have a single idea. Not one word that seemed fitting enough to describe the exciting fireworks in his chest whenever he saw you, to somehow tell you how bad living without you would be. 
He must have been staring for a while because you began to shift from one foot to the other before finally clearing your throat to kill the silence. 
“So... uh... that was an eventful day...” You started, fists nervously opening and closing beside your body. “Thank you for playing pretend. You made a little girl very happy.” You smiled and Steve’s heart skipped another beat. 
He caught the small shimmer in your eyes just in time to give him confidence. Your body kept moving forward as if you willed it back again and again, and Steve gathered all his bravery to open his mouth.
“You know what,” Your name tumbled over his lips like a song he’d sung a thousand times. But the effect it had on you still excited him every time anew. “Today... it’s not going to be pretend.”
And before you could even react to his weirdly vague statement, Steve leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. Full of love and affection, his hands moved on their own - one to your hip and the other onto the wall behind you. There was a moment of panic settling in Steve’s brain, but then your arms came up to sling around his torso and he leaned further into your touch. You pulled him even closer, your lips melting with his, tongues gently stroking soft skin until air got scarce. His whole body felt electric with you so close to him - finally. And when he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, eyes still closed and thoughts swimming in the moment you had just granted him. 
“I... I love you.” He whispered against your skin, and he felt his warm breath bouncing back. Your chest was still rising and falling beneath him, a subtle reminder of how breathtaking all this was - Steve couldn’t get enough of it, of you.
Your hand came up to stroke over his cheek, making him open his eyes to find you already looking at him. 
“I love you, too, Steve.” You bit your lips, and it made Steve just press his mouth to yours once more.
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a/n: I have to say I was pretty impressed at how much it adapted to my writing and I really liked the last part, so I put it in here. I hope you enjoyed it :)
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genshinluvr · 6 months
Text
Where Are the Updates? (HSR Filler)
Pairings: Somewhat HSR Men x Isekai'd!Reader, but there's no romance in this fic (unless you count the moment with Sampo)
Summary: The person who writes the script for your and the men's future project is visiting the Astral Express. Everyone is wondering what is their future role in the projects (and Sampo is being Sampo)
Note: This is a filler fanfic since I haven't updated in so long and I'm trying to force myself to write something so I can get used to writing fanfics again. I'm not expecting anyone to read this. This is a filler chapter until I can actually write something. Anyway! I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1.6k
Caelus walks into the Astral Express, approaching March and Dan Heng. “Hey, does anyone know where [Y/N] is? I’ve been trying to look for them, but they’re not in their room.” Caelus says, crossing his arms over his chest.
March scratches the back of her head. “Uh, I think they’re with the author right now. [Y/N]’s been keeping them company ever since they boarded the Astral Express.”
Caelus does a double take. “Well, this is news to me. How long has she been on the Astral Express?”
Dan Heng looks at his phone. “She’s been here for a few hours now. I don’t think you should disturb the two of them. But if you want to see what they’re up to, they’re in the Parlor Car.”
Caelus quickly thanks Dan Heng before rushing to the Parlor Car. Dan Heng and March watch the silver-haired man leave the Passenger Cabin before turning to look at one another.
“Should we follow him to make sure he doesn’t cause any problems? Who knows what Caelus is going to ask the author to do for him,” March says, propping her hands on her hips.
Dan Heng sighs. “Looks like we have no choice.” Dan Heng mutters before following March to the Parlor Car.
Caelus enters the Parlor Car and freezes. You look away from the woman sitting across from you and wave at Caelus, who presses his lips together while surveying the area. You shrug and turn towards the woman across from you, leaning in your seat. 
“How about a story where you make the main character, aka me, get mad at someone, and they jump universes and get lost for months?” You suggest.
The woman sitting across from you puckers her lips, tapping her chin as she stares at the laptop before her. Hey, you’re merely suggesting ideas for her to write, but the woman seems hesitant about it.
“I like the idea, but I’m not sure. Is it supposed to be another version of the story where these men,” she gestures to the men sitting around you and her, “jumped to another universe in search for you— I mean, the main character from their universe?”
You squint at the woman before you, nodding slowly. “Yes? But that’s up to you! I’m trying to help you come up with ideas to write.”
She nods wordlessly, eyes focusing on the screen before her. Caelus approaches where you and the black-haired woman are sitting. Before Caelus can make it over to the table, someone places a heavy hand on his shoulders, causing him to stop in his tracks. Caelus turns to see Jing Yuan standing beside him while his eyes are elsewhere.
“General, it’s good to see you on the Astral Express! Though, it’s a bit unexpected,” Caelus says, glancing in your direction from the corner of his eyes.
The General of the Xianzhou Luofu chuckles, shaking his head. “I received a message from [Y/N]. They wanted us to come over while someone important was stopping by,” Jing Yuan replies, showing Caelus his phone.
Caelus looks at the screen, and yep, you certainly sent out a message to the General to meet up at the Astral Express. However, Caelus doesn’t know why this “important” person was stopping by the Astral Express. The very same person glued to her laptop, occasionally pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose as it kept slipping down. Caelus has met this woman before, heck, and so has everyone in the Astral Express. The woman with black hair is the one who delivers everyone their “scripts.” And since it’s been a while since there was an update from the author, no one has heard from her since then. Until now, of course.
“Ooh! If you ever write about Penacony, would the others make an appearance?” You ask excitedly, tapping your foot on the ground.
The woman blinks at you cluelessly. “Oh, shit. There’s more?” She mutters, looking around the Astral Express for new faces. Lo and behold, there are certainly new people on the Astral Express. The woman turns toward you, scratching her head, “I haven’t even written anything that debuts Dr. Ratio and Argenti’s appearance— which is long overdue—”
“Very overdue. I understand academics are important, but I don’t see how you can’t write something short and simple for my appearance,” Dr. Ratio comments, crossing his arms over his chest while staring at the woman, displeased. 
The woman gives Dr. Ratio a tight-lipped smile and closes her laptop. “Dr. Ratio, with all due respect, but if you continue to give me that sass, I will continue to delay your appearance in future works.”
Dr. Ratio huffs, looking away with a visible pout on his face, while Adventurine snorts and shakes his head. Adventurine props his arms on Dr. Ratio’s shoulders, only for the man to push him off with a glare.
Adventurine clears his throat. “Dearest author, allow me to pitch my idea for your possible upcoming story~” he strikes a dramatic pose.
The woman nods, “And what is the idea you’ll be pitching?” She asks, waiting for the blond man to say something.
Adventurine clears his throat and jogs over to the woman, sitting beside her before whispering something into her ears. Caelus nearly let out a loud groan. Damn him for making his pitch a secret. Adventurine pulls away and clasps his hands together, placing them on the table while waiting for the woman’s approval or disapproval of his idea.
“I will think about it, and if I’m able to map out how your idea goes, then I will try to make it into a script.” The woman nods.
Adventurine cheers loudly, hopping up from his spot and jumping in the air before looking at Dr. Ratio smugly. Dr. Ratio rolls his eyes with disgust before walking to the other side of the Astral Express while muttering under his breath about how Adventurine is an annoyance. 
“And what about me, Madam Author?” Sunday asks, bowing to the woman before him.
The woman stares at Sunday, pressing her lips into a thin line. “If you’re talking about your appearance in future works, I will include you and new people in future works. The only issue is I’m still unfamiliar with all of you, and your personalities won’t be nearly as accurate as the others.”
Sampo approaches the table where you’re sitting with the woman. You stare at Sampo while he gives you a sheepish smile before looking at the woman. If Sampo had a tail, it would’ve been wagging. Is he excited, or is he nervous? You can’t really tell.
“Ahem, Miss Author, I was wondering why there’s a delay in updates for the script,” Sampo says, poking his index fingers together. “You’re not tired of us, are you?” Cue the puppy dog's eyes.
Welt Yang sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Sampo, I don’t think you should be asking something like that. There could be many factors that play into why she hasn’t been updating us with new scripts.” He mutters, giving Sampo a subtle glare.
The black-haired woman smiles at the older man and gets up from her seat, dusting her pants off. “Sampo, I wasn’t able to update you all on new scripts because I have other priorities, such as my education. I was also behind on your world and wasn’t able to keep up with what was happening in your world.”
Sampo sniffles dramatically, his bottom lips trembling. “But you have time to keep up with the other universe with other people?” Sampo whines, batting his eyelashes at the woman.
“To be fair… I didn’t even update things for them, either.” The woman shrugs.
You got up from your seat and pat Sampo’s shoulders. Sampo dramatically drapes himself over you, burying his face into your neck while dramatically sniffling. You can’t tell if he’s pretending to cry or if he’s trying to inhale you— or both.
Luocha whispers to the woman, “I think he meant being updated with what’s happening in the universe, not your stories and scripts.”
The woman mouths ‘oh’ before nodding slowly. The Parlor Car feels crowded with how many people are present on the Astral Express. All have pressing questions regarding their roles for future projects and what they can expect to happen as the plot (is there even a plot?) progresses. Of course, you and the author reassured everyone that their roles are safe and nothing is going to happen to them. However, even if something were to happen, it would not be permanent. Speaking of something happening and permanent….
You turn to the woman and clear your throat. “You’re not going to kill me in any future projects, are you?”
The woman takes her glasses off and wipes the lenses with her shirt. “That would depend on the plot and the situation. I’ve killed you once, and the other time where you reincarnated, your death was implied and mentioned, but there weren’t scenes, you know?”
You pout, crossing your arms over your chest. “I know, but why do I have to be the one to die? Why can’t it be someone else like, and I mean this as nice as possible, Blade?”
The woman puts her glasses back on and tucks her hair behind her ears. “Because I love making the male love interests suffer.” She replies nonchalantly, brushing her hair off her shoulders.
“I mean, you can still do that without killing me,” You bat your eyelashes at her.
The woman nods. “You’re not wrong about that. I’ll see what I can do, but it will take time, and I probably won’t have the script done before I complete other scripts as well.”
You’re fine with that. As long as you don’t die in future projects (again), then you’re not complaining! Although now that you have (somewhat) given her an idea for future projects, you don’t think you’re going to be prepared for anything gutwrenching. 
Note: I feel bad for not updating in so long 😭 I've been super busy with school and did not have any motivation to write at all, even though that's what I'm required to do for my major. I have finally caught up with Honkai Star Rail— it took me days to catch up because I was also exploring Penacony. I have school in 4 hours, and I still haven't slept. Goodnight! Anyway, to all my new and returning readers, keep in mind that I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!
Read more of my works on my Masterlist / Masterlist 2 | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon! I might post all of my stories on there, too, but who knows. You can also tip me on Tumblr if you'd like as a way to show support! ^^
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oddballsducks · 6 months
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Honestly I think the best way they could have integrated Della into the comics is for her to be a character that only shows up for special issues.
First off, let’s just establish the unspoken requirements that must be met for Della’s existence:
1. She can’t be dead, because that’s too sad. These stories are for kids, remember!
2. She can’t be around, alive and well, either, because then it wouldn’t make sense for HDL to continue living with Donald if Della is there, and that would mess up the status quo. You can never change the status quo, especially a fact so important as “Donald is the triplets’ guardian.”
3. But she can’t be a bad mother or a bad person either! Again, that would be too sad for a Disney comic!
And that’s the reason Duck comic writers have simply ignored the concept of Della entirely, because it’s practically impossible to meet all these rules at once. They just pretend she doesn’t exist, and never existed in the first place.
And then That Comic happens. The 2014 Dutch Della Duck comic. It provides the story that Della is currently traveling in a rocket so quickly that the last (however old the triplets are, minus a couple of months or so, given they were babies when she left) years have only been 15 minutes to her. She will stay in space for another hour before returning home, not knowing it will actually be a few decades. The triplets don’t tell their mother about her situation for honestly no good reason, but that’s a different post.
This story meets the Della Requirements! Della is a good mom, she is alive, but she also isn’t coming back anytime soon.
But it’s still a pretty sad outcome, in my opinion, because Della is unknowingly stuck in space decades, and she’ll miss her children’s entire lives. She can never show up in stories.
I’ve thought of a better way to fit Della into the comics and meet the Requirements:
Just have her be working all the time as a pilot. She’s flying around between different countries all the time, so she leaves the kids with Donald. She could even be a military pilot, if they want to do that. And she can come back to Duckburg when she’s on leave/a break, and we can have a story with her in it every so often, but not so often she’s a main character. It’s the best compromise, I’m telling you.
She’s alive, she’s a good mom, and Donald still gets to be HDL’s main caregiver.
Anyway I’m tired so this might be worded awkwardly in some places and be rambly.
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love-lilly02 · 7 months
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The Challenge pt. 5
Authors Note: this one is gonna make yall mad, i already know it. Also i think i'm gonna have to create a schedule of posting on weekends as apperently all my ideas for this story hit on fridays.
Chapter warnings:
minor character death, mentions of suicide
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“You can’t do that!!”
“I can and I will.” Laswell said, closing the file. “She’s on a solo Op and that’s final.”
The boys all rolled their eyes, sighing heavily. 
“Let one of us go, Las. We can’t just let her walk into the lions den-“
“Price, that’s enough. She has her assignment, you have yours.” 
“But we don’t have an assignment.” Price stressed. 
“Exactly.” 
Another round of complaints. 
You had left the room long ago, departing as soon as you had received your mission. A solo op, just an intel gathering. Get in, get the information, get out. 
Get out of one of the most heavily guarded buildings in all of Russia. 
What could go wrong?
“Okay, I’ll be the one to say it.” Kyle stepped up, leaning forward in his chair. “I don’t trust that she’ll be able to get out of this place. Even with her level of skill, that’s something no one’s been able to pull off without dying.”
“If you’re worried about her, you can say that you know.” Laswell said simply, raising an eyebrow. 
The whole room went quiet. 
“Alright, look. I don’t know what’s going on between you four and her, but get it under control. I had enough of it when you lot-“ she points to Ghost and Price-“ wanted those two-“ She points at soap and Gaz- “to join your… whatever this is. I’m not dealing with four children mooning over my best asset.”
“We are not moonin’-“ Ghost protested at the same time Price said “I thought I was your best asset?”
Laswell just rolled her eyes. 
“I’ll put you boys on cam duty. How’s that?”
“It’s enough.” All the boys agreed.
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You could feel their eyes on you as you adjusted your weapons for the fiftieth time. The suit they had you in was very different from the gear you normally wore, instead of cargo pants and a vest you had on a completely black bodysuit with a matching hood and shoes. Various knives and fewer guns than you would like were hidden among your body, and you kept anxiously touching them to be sure they were actually there. 
You looked like the Black Widow from the Avengers. As far as you could tell, the boys thought so too, with the way they kept sizing you up. 
You weren’t entirely sure if you liked that fact or not. 
You knew exactly why they had chosen you instead of Ghost or Kyle for this mission- you were a lot quieter. They could think quickly and kill faster, but at the end of the day you moved around quieter, left much less noticeable tracks than they did. 
This stupid challenge supported that idea. 
“Keep touching ‘em and they’re gonna rust, lass.” Soap called over the comms, and you shot him a glare. For the sake of the mission- and your life- you had decided to temporarily cast aside your feelings for their last behavior, allowing them to talk to you again. Some people, like Gaz and Price, understood you would need space after what happened. Ghost and Soap, however, did not get the memo. 
“She’s allowed to touch ‘em, Johnny. They’re her knives. ‘Sides, I don’t suppose knives can rust by just touching ‘em anywho.” 
“Awh yea they can! I’ve seen it ‘appen me self.” 
“Drop it,” Price warned.
Both boys responded with a simple, “Sorry captain,” and the helicopter was silent again. 
“Okay. One more time, what are you doing?” Price couldn’t help but be nervous as your drop zone crept closer and closer. 
“I get dropped off and enter through a side window, go through some rooms and get to the main center to put the information on the computer with a red chip into a flash drive. 
Price nodded and ran his hand along his beard, a nervous habit you noticed he developed. 
“Okay, good. The boys and I will tell you where to go and when it’s safe over comms, and-“
“Price. I’ve heard the debrief over fifteen times now. I got it.” You said, doing one more quick pat down to make sure all your knives were in order. “I trust you. Now you need to trust me.”
“Drop zone approaching!” The pilot called, and they all watched as the plane opened to reveal the darkness of the night. 
“Wish me luck,” You said, pulling the hood over your head. 
“Luck,” they all chorused back weakly. 
And you jumped out of the plane. 
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Anxiety coursed through Ghosts veins as he watched you jump. A while after, thirty seconds as planned, you deployed a parachute, barely visible in the night. It was dangerous to have a black parachute in the dark but it was a risk they needed to take. 
There was complete radio silence the entire time you landed. That was another rule, unless you were receiving directions or telling them something important you were to be radio silent at all times. To “make sure no one hears or picks up anything,” as Laswell said. 
Ghost thought it was a load of bullshit. 
Simon agreed. 
Truth be told, he worried for you. Both of him did. This was something he wouldn’t be able to pull off, not even with years of training for it. And they were sending you in with less than a few hours notice?
A suicide mission. 
He hadn’t asked, if this was what you wanted to do. He didn’t ask if you were okay with risking your life, possibly dying, for the “greater good.” He honestly wanted you to disagree, he wanted you to protest, say they were stupid for sending you on this mission.
But you had just listened quietly and took the file. 
“At the drop zone, headed to the entrance.” Your messages were short and to the point, and he could see the others relax at your words. 
“Right, stay on standby,” Ghost said, loading up the cameras. 
“Copy.” Then silence. 
Once he got the feed loaded he quickly scanned the cameras for you, his eyes flicking back and fourth. 
“There,” Kyle said, pointing to one screen. You were kneeling behind a bunch of crates, watching the entrance carefully. 
“Okay. Move left, there’s a side entrance, you might have to pick a lock or two.” 
“Copy,” and you moved towards the door. They watched as you crawled, seemingly gliding across the concrete floor. Once you reached the door, it took a total of three seconds for you to slip inside. 
“Door’s are locked. What’s the next move?”
“Shit, that was locked?” Soap asked, even though his comms were off. 
“Suppose so. Two desks down to your right.” 
And so it continued. They gave you directions and watched as you absolutely flew though the levels of the building. Till finally, you were where you needed to be. 
“Okay, transferring the information.” It shouldn’t take that long, Ghost told himself. He watched as you stayed crouched behind a wall, nervously tapping on your thigh as the transfer commenced. 
“Done!” They could all head the relief in your voice, even if you tried to hide it. You put the computer back where it belonged, tucking the flash drive in your pocket. 
“Good job, now head out the way you came, it’s-“  Ghost stopped short when he saw two men walk into the room. They were soldiers for the enemy team, the Russian flags in the middle of their vests displaying that. To your credit, you heard the voices and stayed pointedly in place.  
The two of them spoke in gruff Russian to each other, monitoring the room carefully. They were going a bit too slow, getting a bit too close for Ghost’s liking. And, based on the way Kyle was gripping his shoulder, for him too. 
They kept snooping, till finally one of them jumped out into your hiding spot. 
It was absolute chaos after that. 
You stabbed the one who found you, using his body as a shield when the other started shooting. You fired your own shots and landed one with rough time to drop the guy you were holding and run out of the room. 
By this point, multiple alarms had been tripped, and you abandoned all sense of decorum, flying down steps quickly. 
“Get the fuck out of there!” Ghost yelled over comms. 
Apparently that didn’t warrant a response. 
The cameras he was using to track you were being taken over, and he was quickly loosing visuals. 
“Mirage, do you copy?” 
“Mirage, what is your position.”
“Damnit Y/N, answer me!”
But he was met with silence. 
And for the first time since Las Almas, Ghost felt truly afraid.
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For what it was worth, you had heard Ghost yelling over comms. And you had wanted to respond to him, but the current circumstances made that harder than you would have liked. 
There were soldiers shooting at you almost constantly, and maybe about two or three snipers on other buildings. And you had about five more stories to get down, not to mention an entire parking lot- which was swarming with soldiers, you checked- and somehow get back on the evac vehicle alive. 
One step at a time. 
Having cleared two floors already, you burst through a nearby office, breathing out a small sigh of relief when no one occupies it. Over the comms you hear a voice saying something, but it’s Price now instead of Ghost. 
“Mirage, there’s a supply drop headed your way, what’s your location?” He doesn’t sound as worried, and you can’t help but wonder where Ghost went. 
“I’m hidden in an office, sir. If there was a drop there would be no way for me to reach it without being ambushed.” 
You’re met with silence for a moment, before Price comes back into your ear. 
“Copy that, just get to the parking lot in one piece. We’ll take it from there.”
You just roll your eyes. As if that wasn’t your plan to begin with. 
The stairs seem endless as you run, down flight after flight after flight. You seriously considered taking the elevator but decided against it- they were Russian, not stupid. Once you make it to the room you entered the building through you’re throughly disappointed to find it’s occupied by a few armed guards. Nothing you couldn’t handle, so long as you went out quietly. 
Carefully, you made your way behind the first one, pulling one of the longer knives out of your thigh holster. In your other hand, you slip a throwing knife, crouching silently. 
It takes a good few minutes before you’re able to make a move, throwing the knife in the eye of the guard at the door before you stab the one in front of you in the neck. The other two load their guns, but you’re faster, flinging two more throwing knives across the room into their heads. You allow yourself the time to collect your knives and slip out of the door, just in time to hear more gaurds enter behind you. 
Close calls that just keep getting closer. 
You’re able to see the parking lot now. And as you expected, it’s absolutely swamped with enemies. There were small cracks in the defenses, however, just small enough for you to slip through if you were careful. 
You stuck to the shadow of the trees, figuring darkness was your best cover. Carefully, you picked your way through the ranks of men receiving instruction, having to duck to hide behind cars multiple times. Finally, you were close enough to make a break for it and just test your luck. 
And that dammed supply drop just had to show up. 
Immediately, it set off widespread panic, and in the chaos one of the soldiers stumbled over to your hiding spot. Before you understood what was going on you were being hoisted up by multiple soldiers and brought into the center of a light, surrounded by angry Russians who were yelling at you in one of the few languages you couldn’t understand. 
Finally, one man walked up to you and said simply, “Where is the band of coonies you work for?” He looked kind of familiar, with almost a dad bod and dark eyes to match.
“Don’t respond, that’s our target.” Price insisted, and as if he could hear him, the target looked up to your ear. 
“American.” He spat out the word like a curse, and looked at you with an even nastier scowl. “A shame, you are very pretty.” He said something in Russian, and the men all raised their guns and pointed them at you. 
“Wait!” You shouted, and to your surprise, the target stopped. He turned to you slowly, and raised an eyebrow, signaling for you to continue. Carefully, you moved your hand to where the flash drive hid, pulling it out. It glinted red in the bright spotlights, and the target stopped dead in his tracks. 
“What is that?” He asked, stalking closer to you. 
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You teased further. God you had a bad habit of teasing men. Maybe it’s what got you into these situations. 
“Give it to me,” He said, practically running at you. 
“Mirage, whatever you’re about to do, don’t. Do it.” Price was yelling, and you could hear the chaos of the helicopter behind you. 
“Listen to me, American girl. I will give you one chance to give me that flash drive. And maybe we will let you out alive.” The target stopped a good distance away from you, holding out his hand. You just smiled. 
With a flick of your wrist, the flash drive was replaced with a pin. “Over my dead body.”
And a grenade went off- right where you were standing.
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Authors Note: this is completely random but i've decided to open my inbox for requests, not just COD but across all fandoms, and i'm doing a bit of blog reorganizing so i'll get to them fairly quickly (tonight that is)
also don't hate me lol the next chapter will be out next week if all goes well
My Masterlist
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stormcloudrising · 2 months
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if d&d knew about jonsa why did they change it? martin said the ending is gonna be the same with more additions which is obvious bc the show cut some of the characters
Why did they marry Sansa to Ramsay, which won’t happen in the books? Why did they write Dany as not having feelings for Daario and leaving him in Essos without a backward glance, which won’t happen in the books, since she chooses him at the end of her last ADWD chapter.
Why did they write the Dornish story in a way that won’t happen in the books…especially the Sand Snakes? Why was Bran the only Stark child that was given the power to warg his direwolf and other animals? Why were the final two seasons and everyone’s individual story sacrificed to Dany’s arc, which won’t be the case in the books? Why was Bran the only greenseer on the show? Why did they make Cersei the ruling queen when Dany attacks, which won’t’ be the case in the book.
I could go on and on, but you get my point. It wasn’t just the Jon and Sansa story that D&D dropped or changed. They changed a lot of storylines, and in the end, they did what George didn’t want and why he chose them over other writers who came to him proposals to adapt the books. They centered the back half of the story around one main character…Dany.
Part of the reason is because unfortunately, George didn’t finish the books in time for a proper adaptation. But another part I think is while D&D are great at adapting completed material as we saw with the first 5 seasons, they are not good at writing complex characterizations or plots on their own.
And so, once it became obvious that George was not going to complete the books on time, they simplified the hell out of the remaining story…including Jon and Sansa because that’s probably going to be the most complicated of the remaining stories to write…even with George handling it.
Truthfully, knowing D&D’s skill set, I don’t think that there is anyway they could have done it without having the printed word from George to adapt. This is because IMO, it’s not just the familial relationship that George will have to deal with but Jon and Sansa’s hidden connection to not just the current magical storyline but the one from the ancient past as well. So, in a way, I’m glad they didn’t attempt to write it on their own.
However, they did drop a lot of hints and if we ever get TWOW from George, I think fans will look back on the show and say, oh, that’s why D&D wrote them like that.
ETA: I haven’t yet watched 3 Body Problem on Netflix, but from what I’ve heard, D&D seems to have done a good job adapting it, which proves my point. They are working with a finished story. Yes, another complex story, but one that is at least completed and so most of the heavy lifting in terms of plotting has already been done for them.
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