#but she messaged me 'i know all your secrets :)' before telling me what she'd done and it hurt so badly

[i-smoke-chapstick]

'ALL YOUR EXES,

-THEPENGUIN!SOFIA FALCONE X READER-

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; You attempt to ration with Sofia's jealousy.

⋆ tags/warnings. sofia falcone x female reader. POSSESSIVE BAHVIOR!! minor angst, lots of murder and rage (she's got some issues to work through) somewhat unhealthy obsession, reader comforting sofia <3 pre!arkham sofia.

♫ “I want to live in a world where all your exes are dead, / Be the only girl that's ever been in your bed / I'm confident I've got them accurately demonized / You tell me not to worry, I'm the only thing you see / Well, yeah, I fucking better be.” All Your Exes by Julia Michaels

You think you should be used to this by now.

You've mulled it over in your head, the implications of dating a mob family member. To you; Sofia was always just Sofia. The same girl you'd grown up with. Respectful, in a quiet and calculated type of way. With you, her smiles were always genuine. A slight twitch of the lips that let you know; she cares for you. You're different. Good.

Though, you didn't think she cared this much.

"Tell me you didn't." You say, swallowing. It's rare she comes over to your house, and not the estate. But there is a quiet buzz and intimacy your home captures that hers does not. You think she's always preferred it. "Tell me it wasn't you."

You look between her and the TV. You never pay much attention to the Gotham News. It's always the same; murder, robbery, more murder. But this...this murder was different.

The voice on the screen recites a robotic retelling of a body discovered in an apartment around your area. An apartment you'd been to many, many times. And the body of a girl you'd had more than few flings with in the past.

"It seems as though the Hangman has struck again. This time, twenty-two year old Sarah Parkins has been found deceased..."

You lick your teeth in frustration.

Sofia stands there. You watch her jaw clench, and she seems to swallow in return. Her whole body is taut as the drink she's cradling pauses before her lips.

She sets the glass down with a clink, and averts her gaze from you, as if she's lost in thought. Eventually, her hands fold neatly in her lap before staring up at you. Her facial expression doesn't change besides a subtle twitching.

She knows where this is going.

You'd known she was the Hangman. There were no secrets between the two of you, she'd made sure of that. Though she'd never explicitly stated it, it was glaringly obvious as someone who'd loved her.

"You were going to find out eventually." She finally speaks, nostrils flaring for a moment. She says it simply, like it's been an item checked off her to-do-list.

You gape at her. Despite the quiet monotone in her voice, she seems to be nervous. You glance down to her nails subtly scratching into her wrist.

You take a breath. Or two. Or three.

"Wha- why?"

"She was practically stalking you. Always watching you. She was going to get...involved...eventually. I did what needed to be done."

"Fuck." You mutter, under your breath. You let out a groan, sitting down next to her. You drag a palm across your face as you scan the TV.

"The cause of death seems to be strangulation..."

Having enough, you grab the remote and switch it off.

"You can't do that, Sof."

She breathes hard.

"She was a threat. I handled it. You are vulnerable. I do things you're incapable of to keep you safe."

The words come out with a mixture of indifference and quiet worry. You see straight through the subtle manipulation and choose to ignore it.

"I haven't talked to her in months."

Her eyes narrow, and she leans forward. Her hands find yours, attempting to tether herself to you.

"Are you not listening to me?" She stares deeply into your eyes. "I did it to protect you. To protect us. It's about sending a message."

She looks...raw. There is a fury burning behind her eyes, and an insecurity you can't quite place. You purse your lips, and grasp her hands in return. Her breath hitches.

"There...there were other women before you Sofia. You have to accept that. What's important as that we are together. Right here. Right now. And there will be no one else, ever."

You mirror her intensity, breathing out the reassurance. You feel her hands clench yours tighter when you mention the others. Her insecurities rear their ugly head within her, but she hides it well, keeping her calm exterior as she gazes at you with steely eyes.

"She touched you," Sofia whispers, barely audible, voice shaking with what you can only assume is rage and regret. The next words come out of her mouth tightly, bluntly, like a threat.

"Did you...love her?"

You inhale, and watch what you say. Without a moments hesitation, you respond truthfully.

"No. I've never loved anyone else like I've loved you. You should know that."

When you finish your small declaration, it's like the apex of a crescendo. Her body finally relaxes, and she raises her head out of whatever violent fantasies she was drowning in.

She stops holding your hand so tightly, and nods slowly in response.

She puts a hand against your cheek, softly drawling you in with a nod. She kisses you softly, like it's a reward for your fealty, but you know better. It's for her own reassurance.

She pulls away, scanning you over one last time. There is still a burning jealousy that engulfs her, and her voice is low and serious.

"We belong to each other," She recounts, "Loyalty is very, very important to me."

It's a warning.

"I know." You mutter, before drawling her back in for one more kiss to soothe her.

You wonder if your words are enough to prevent her from tracking down other past lovers of yours.

You assume only time will tell.

[adventuringblind]

Nothing Like The Picture

Daniel Ricciardo x Reader

Genre: Fluff, some spice towards the end

Summary: She's seen his pictures growing up, talked to him through letters, but the real thing is much better.

Warnings: ramblings about how good-looking Danny Ric is and an age gap of sizable amounts (I'm not sorry)

Notes: A request from @poster66 that I fell in love with.

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

Growing up knowing you're going to be used as a pawn in a political game is certainly something that can drive even the sanest royals to madness. The thought of having your entire life planned out for you the moment you're born has to be exhausting.

It's not for her.

Maybe it's because it's all she's know from the second she was born. Or it's the stacks of letters that sit on her desk from before she could even read that make this whole thing feel endearing.

Daniel wrote to her before she was born. Mostly ramblings about what he'd been up to. It's like he's written her an autobiography, so they aren't strangers when it does come time for her to be married off to him.

The age-gap wasn't planned. Not when their parents entered into this agreement. Neither of them had been born when they'd been promised to each other.

So, Daniel wrote her letters and when she was old enough, she wrote back. He was elated to get her first letter. Enough to write back instantaneously despite not having done much since the last one.

They wrote about interests and activities. About how their studies were going and how much they disliked their tutors.

She'd sprint through the castle, almost falling down the steps in her rush to receive his letters. The growing feeling of butterflies in her stomach with each written word became all consuming.

Daniel's kind words of consolation, paragraphs of endearing affection and lines of encouragement when she fell into emotional turmoil. She'd go as far as to say he is her closest friend and confidant. She'd shared all her secrets with him. He'd shared some of his with her.

The canvas painting on the wall of Daniel and his family is her only clue as to what he looks like. Aside from his own personal description of himself. He has a 'charismatic smile and devilishly good looks.'

Daniel asks her often about what she wants in the future. He claims that she will be treated as his equal. It's only fair she gets to have her own interests and he'd like to make sure she has whatever she needs when she inevitably has to move.

He writes her often about horses and how much time he spends in the stables. Tucked up in his horse's pen writing her. He rides often, much to his parents' demise. Daniel promises to take her riding and show her all his favorite places to hide away.

She tells him about the hidden corner of the library where she hides herself to read and write. Nobody has yet to find the secret location. Sometimes she uses it to escape her mother's constant hovering and fathers' ridiculous wrath.

When the day comes for her to leave, she neatly tucks away every letter, so they remain safe during the journey. She sends one last message to Daniel expressing her enthusiasm for getting to see him in person.

It takes far too long to get there. She wonders in Daniel would've ridden his own horse. They'd certainly reach their destination faster that way.

After what feels like years of traveling, she's standing at the foot of the steps. Butterflies making it difficult to breathe. They rage around in her chest and stomach.

She gets sympathetic looks from her hand maiden. It's not that she's upset about being here. But the anxiety of finally seeing Daniel is messing up her thoughts.

She manages to coax herself into at least going up the stairs and inside out of the cold. Surely Daniel would not want an icicle for a wife.

She takes a moment to admire her new home, letting herself breathe and relax before she has to face the inevitable.

"Princess!" She whirls around on her feet and is indeed met with a large charismatic grin. He jogs up to her, the distance now standing between them oddly suffocating.

She gives up on restraining herself. It's only the two of them in the hall for the moment. Her arms wrap around his neck.

Just as she imagined, he smells utterly addictive. Strang arms hold her in place. He's too, which is an added bonus given how cold she is at the moment.

"You, are incredibly stunning." He smiles in her hair. It's a good thing he can't see her face because she can feel the heat of the blush. "I hope I meet your expectations and my descriptions did my physique justice."

"I've been staring at the same portrait for five years now. I can safely say that it didn't do you any justice."

"The painters always get my nose wrong!"

Daniel pulls away and cups her cheeks. For a moment, she thinks he might actually kiss her. Which - she won't lie - Is something she'd very much like to have happen. So much so, that she goes for it first.

Alas, Daniel foils her attempt. "Not here. I have plans for you later. We've been writing for years; you can be patient a little longer."

She whines at him, but when Daniel lays a kiss to her cheek and brushes his fingers against his skin, she knows she'll wait for him.

Thousands of years, if neccecary, if only to look at him in real life and not through a portrait.

[killersfool]

I Want You | ELIJAH HEWSON

PAIRING : elijah hewson x original f!character

GENRE: fluff, friends to lovers

SUMMARY: dahlia jenkinson, josh’s sister is asked to fill in as photographer at his bad’s concert. her plan is to ask him out by the end of the show as she’s been crushing on him for ever. what she doesn’t expect is that one of their songs was written about her—and she’s right there when he confesses it.

WORDS: 5.6k

WARNINGS: smoking, drinking, kissing

Friday. Underground. London.

I run through the station passing the endless people, posters and children's screams. My brother, Josh, had asked me yesterday to help out at his band's concert. He'd told me that their photographer had gotten COVID so he needed someone to fill in.

I dragged my roommate along with me as my moral support, seeing as she's heard me spill every secret in my mind about the band's lead singer, Elijah.  I've been helping Josh with his band's endeavours for years and have also had to condone countless sleepovers. I've had the sound of drumsticks crashing together engrained in my head by this point. Robyn has always told me to 'stop being a pussy and ask Eli out on a date' but honestly, I'm terrified I'll ruin everything. This photography thing has really helped to get me new jobs and more exposure.

"So, you still crushing on Eli?" Robyn asks. She's been glancing over at my phone for the past few minutes. I've been texting the band group chat that I've been added to. They usually kick me out randomly. This is the longest period of time I've been in it without having an argument. I'm pretty proud.

"Shut up." I scoff. "If you dare say anything to any of of them, I will kill you."

"I wouldn't," she laughs. I give her a look. "I'll try not to..."

"You and your big mouth."

"I can't help it."

"I shouldn't tell you things."

"Who else would you tell?" She grabs at my phone, noticing a message from Elijah pop up.

It reads: "Missed you. You've always been the better Jenkinson." I try to contain my smile at the stupid message. It's just a couple words beneath a name on a screen and I'm getting all nervous. It's pathetic. God, this is getting bad.

"That's cute," Robyn says and is about to start writing a message back until I snatch my phone back. Who knows what kind of bullshit she'd start sending. She'd surely send some terrible pictures of me. That's happened on many ocassions. I've learnt my lesson to never trust her with my phone.

"Cringe." I type back, although the smile on my face is betraying the words on the screen. I stare at his profile picture for a few seconds. It's a selfie of me and the band. I look half asleep, probably drunk. Eli's hair is all over his face and Josh is squeezing Ryan's cheeks. Bobby is just angrily staring at the camera. He definitely didn't want to be in that photo. It's sweet that Eli has kept his profile picture that way for so long. We haven't seen each other in months. I send another message, "Well you're not my favourite Hewson."

He sends an angry emoji. "Who is then?"

"Bono, course."

He sends a few more angry emojis before spamming the group chat. There is already some kind of argument happening. Robert seems to be late and they're all asking where he is. I switch my phone off, sliding it into my pocket. Robyn's been unusually quiet.

"What have you done this time?" I ask with a subtle tilt of my head. She's chewing on some haribos she'd bought moments ago. She then smirks to herself, "Nothing."

I'm a little worried but decide to brush it off. We leave the train station and I'm struck by the freezing air. I sometimes forget how cold England is. Having moved from Ireland over a year ago, I feel like I should've acclimatised. But, why is it always so cold? I hold my jacket closer to myself to try to warm up.

We pass at least ten people with 'I love London' shirts. Sounds of street sellers are familiar along with the hustle and bustle of late London nights. I see the London Eye twisting in the distance. Big ben is tolling. The venue comes into view a few streets away. I'm dreading it slightly. I feel as if I'm not going to cope this time seeing that ever-so-familiar face. It's as if with each passing month, he gets better looking. It should be crime. I'll probably melt when I see him.

I instead focus on seeing Josh and my excitement for seeing the gig. They've all really improved over the years. They really know how to put on a good show. Adrenaline rushes through my veins. It'll be fine. Surely.

"You're nervous, aren't you?" Robyn takes notice of me fiddling with my earrings. It's become some nervous habit. I find a comfort in twiddling the crystals between my fingers.

"A bit," I say. Honest. "What if he finds out? We'll surely get piss-drunk. What if he only wants to be mates?"

"Lia, darling, you've got to stop overthinking it. After hearing all these stories you've told me, it sounds like he likes you a lot," she says, grinning. "I'll tell you if I see any looks passed or anything suspicious, okay?"

"You're the best." I give her a hug, forgetting for a moment about the crowded streets around us. Robyn hugs are always too good to be true. I sometimes forget how unbelievably short she is and how she tries to suffocate me with her arms.

Just as we're about to continue down the endless streets, I see someone running past us. I barely even realise he's passed me until Robyn points him out. I see long, curly hair and a massive case swung over his shoulder. Bobby. Then, he turns to face us. Blue eyes catch me off guard then a massive grin. He seems to question whether he should stop or get to the venue. He's very late.

"Is that the bassist?" Robyn wonders. "Robert?"

"That's me," he says, retracing his steps. His mullet has gone all messy in the autumn wind. He's trying to swipe away a few stray hairs from out of his face. "Hey Dally. Who's this?" He points towards my friend with a lazy smile.

"This is Robyn. My roommate. She's the one who accidentally stepped on a pigeon."

"Ah." He then turns into his bird lover mode. "How could you do that to a poor, helpless bird? How could you? Can't believe you're called Robyn. That's a disgrace. Wish I was called Robyn. Or sparrow. Or some kind of bird. God, do I love birds—"

"Okay, Robert. We get it," I interrupt with a finger in the air. He crosses his arms over his chest, pouting. Robyn is laughing at his angered demeanour. He always puts on this irritated-sarcastic face in moments like this. He looks like a child after stepping on lego.

"Aren't you late?" Robyn asks the blue-eyed boy. His phone has been pinging with notification throughout the few minutes they have been walking together. He seems to be a little stressed. I have to almost run to keep up with this speed of impossibly long legs.

We approach the venue. It's a huge, pretty rundown building which strikes out in stark contrast to the fancy buildings around it. The words 'Inhaler:tonight' are written on a chalkboard beside the entrance. The place really matches the band for some reason. There's a queue of fans outside. A lot of them are sat down on the pavement. They scream at the sight of the bassist, piling around him. Phones are being held up to take pictures of him.

"Sorry guys, I've got to get inside. Thank you for coming," Robert mumbles.

Robyn and I act as body guards, preventing anyone from getting too close. Banners have been dropped onto the ground, passersby glance over in confusion. There's colourful cowboy hats covered with jewels everywhere. That music video really drove the world crazy. It definitely drove me crazy. I probably make up at least half of the views.

The majority of the crowd continue to take photos. Some say 'Oh my God, that's Josh's sister!' I give them a smile whilst simultaneously pushing Robert forwards.

We finally get to the back door. The gathering give up after a while. They go back to the queue, attempting to slot in to their previous place.

"Well, doors haven't opened yet so you can't be that late," I remark. The front doors are still locked.

"I'm missing sound check though."

I hear music booming quietly through the walls. I open the door, pressing down on it with fingertips. It creaks open to a long corridor with white plastered walls. It smells of fresh paint. The light is barely even attached to the ceiling. It looks like some horror film scene. Creepy.

But then Josh comes around the corner. His guitar is slung over his chest and his face lights up to reveal a huge smile that I've always adored. He's taller than the last time I've seen him. He runs straight towards me, engulfing me with his arms. I'm uncomfortably pressed against his guitar but I couldn't care less. I'm so glad I came. I missed him so much.

Robert slides past us and Robyn awkwardly stands in the doorway. I introduce her to my brother. He gives her a hug as well. She seems to enjoy this whole situation a lot. She's getting all loud and giddy.

The rest of the band are still playing through songs. They're running through 'Dublin In Ecstasy'. Elijah's voice is echoing through the entire building, sliding it's way through my skull. There's a part of me that wants to turn back. I could just make my way back to my apartment, have a cup of coffee and stalk Twitter accounts of people who went to the show. I definitely haven't been doing that for the past few months. I'm not that insane. Or obsessed.

"Do you want to listen to sound check or hang out back stage?" Josh asks us. He's been talking to Robyn, getting to know her and she seems to like him, thankfully. It'd be downright awkward if she hated his guts.

"I'll follow you," Robyn says to Josh. She starts to traipse down the corridor. I watch her curls bounce from side to side as she jumps with every step. She suddenly realises that she's left me behind. "You coming?"

I groan, staring at the door. "Yeah. Fuck it."

I pick up my camera in preparation. I've been using the same one for years. It's got stickers all over it. Some of random bands, some from different countries and little letters spelling out my name. Elijah had bought me a few pages of letters of the alphabet as a birthday present when I turned 15. I still remember that day. We were all huddled inside my living room after being drenched by a sudden storm. There were about fifteen of us, including the band. The fireplace before us was the only source of light in the darkened room. I think I was dating Ryan at that point. That was a strange time. He was sweet. It only lasted a couple of weeks. Elijah had a girlfriend too. Younger me was very jealous. I think that's what made me realise I liked him.

Now, fast forward eight years and my heart is beating in my ears like I'm a teenager all over again.

I allow Robyn to go first. I trail behind. Josh has left us to our own devices and we try to figure out where exactly we're supposed to go. We decide to follow the sounds of music booming. Closer and closer. We go down a staircase, open a door then we're right at the stalls, just beneath the stage. The door crashes so loudly that all of the band stop playing. They all peer down at us.

The band name 'Inhaler' is upon the wall and coloured lights paint the stage. This room is a lot nicer than the exterior. There's a standing area then seats up along the top. The walls are painted a deep shade of crimson with gold lines intricately painted everywhere. It's too good to be true. It feels so weird being at one of their gigs again. It feels even weirder to see all of them in the same place at the same time.

I trace my gaze along the stage. I take a quick glance at Josh who is tuning his guitar, then Ryan who's staring at us with wide eyes. I shift my eyes a little further to see Elijah. He's dropped his mic at the sight of us. I take notice of the length of his hair. It's falling over his eyes, a mess of curls shrouding his face. He's wearing a white vest top and a bulky blazer which is holding onto his shoulders for dear life. I can't see him very well from here. What I can see is the complexity of his gaze. The way he's looking at me is making me nervous. I take a deep breath.

"Dahlia?!" Ryan calls out. He drops his drumsticks similarly to Elijah.

"Surprise?" I say. I thought Josh had told them I was coming. "Wait, did Josh not tell you?"

Elijah picks up the microphone from the ground, not taking his eyes away from mine. "Josh, you gobshite. I thought she was coming next week," he says into the mic, words jumping through my ears. I hate how warm his voice is through those speakers. It's sickening.

"Well, I'm not complaining." Ryan jumps down from the stage, giving me and Robyn a hug. It's a group hug where we're all squashed together. He's grinning from ear to ear.

"You're still short," I say. I can still look down on him, especially with my chunky boots. He rolls his eyes.  "This is Robyn." I introduce my roommate to both Ryan and Elijah.

"Nice to meet you," Elijah murmurs as he jumps off the stage. He's left the mic on the stand. He's pushing his hair from his face.

Robyn gives me a look, raising an eyebrow in the direction of Elijah. She's got a malevolent smile. What's she going to do? Maybe I shouldn't have brought her.

"I've heard all about you." Robyn gives Elijah a little wink. I kick the back of her leg .

His lip raises the slightest bit. I find myself staring at his mouth for far too long. There's stubble lining his chin and a splatter of freckles on his cheeks. "Have you, now?" His low voice drifts through the air. He's maintaining eye contact with me. I'm trying to evade his gaze.

"She's exaggerating." I assure him, trying to stop myself from giving Robyn another thwack.

"Eli! We have like 5 minutes until door opens and Dublin In Ecstasy is a mess. Get up here. You can swoon later." Robert is already playing the introduction to the song. Ryan and Josh join in.

"Swoon?" Eli shakes his head with a grin.

"We're just that amazing," Robyn whispers to me.

I hold up my camera, taking a picture of the three lads on stage. Then I point it at Elijah. I take a few of his confused face before he leaves us to sing along to the music.

"He's whipped." Robyn watches as he climbs back onto the stage. "Likes you so much he can barely even function-" She points out how he can't even plug his guitar in. He's been trying to shove the lead in for a while but his eyes are wandering elsewhere. "You've got to say something to him. He's leaving tomorrow, isn't he? Maybe tonight.."

I breathe in. "Alright. I'll try."

Robyn and I hum along to the tune. Elijah's rough vocals make my mind go cloudy. He sounds so much crisper in person. I think back to the cuts and bruises vinyl on my shelf. Robyn had bought it the day it came out. Josh sent me every version possible. Robyn went on about supposedly being 'the first person in the world who bought it'. She said she saw the record in HMV and instantly thought of me. We had stayed up late that night to listen through each track. Eating popcorn, drinking alcohol, talking about random shit. That was when I told her everything about Elijah. From the schoolgirl crush, to the trying to forget him then to the full-blown infatuation. She enjoyed listening to every detail I had to offer.

Elijah continues singing. I'm holding my breath, my palms are sweaty, I feel my heart pulsing at my throat. Robyn is swaying to each beat of the drums. Elijah won't stop looking at me.

Then the song ends and we all tun backstage, in an attempt to evade the incoming fans. I hear shouts echoing in the distance. We've gathered in a little room backstage. Josh is showing me some fancy chocolates he bought in Rome. I'm taking pictures of the band members. Robyn keeps photobombing. I rest my head upon the armrest of the sofa, closing my eyes. It feels nice. Calm. Until, someone settles beside me. They grab my legs so that they can properly sit down. The hands are cold and fingertips are calloused. That someone is Elijah. "Excited for the show?"

He's got his pre-show drink in one hand and his phone in the other. I close my eyes once again.

I shift around in the soft cushion attempting to get into a more comfortable position. He scoffs and pulls my legs up by the ankles to rest them over his thighs. "I know you're tired," he says. He takes a sip of his drink. "But if you dare fall asleep during the show, I will throw my guitar at you." I move my legs around his thighs then actually raise my head to look at him. I take a picture as he makes a stupid face. I don't know how he can do that whilst still looking pretty.

"Is this comfortable?" I ask. He's been very still. "I can move if you want."

"It's nice... fine," he mumbles as he scrolls through messages on his phone. "Reminds of that music lesson. Must've been our first year of secondary school. You fainted after some practice test we did. We were sat in this exact position for at least an hour. I think my legs stopped working."

I try to bring my head back to the memory. He was so different back then. Shorter hair, insanely asthmatic. He only knew me as Josh's twin sister. Somehow that was enough for him to stay there with me and keep me safe. After that, he had some complex where had to look after me with his life. It was charming.

"I had to kick you about nine time because you feel asleep, " I recall. My mind is wandering through moments I can barely even remember. "You were so strange."

"I could've left you there in the practice asleep. You should be thanking me for saving you from embarassment-"

"Why, thank you. Oh how you've changed my entire life. I owe you all that I have."

He shakes his head, squeezing the skin at the bottom of my ankle. He then rests his hand there. As if it's normal. He's still reading through messages, biting the top of the plastic cup.

"When do you lot go on then?" I ask everyone.

Robyn has started drawing eyeliner onto the other boys. She just pulled it out of her pocket randomly and asked if they wanted her to do it. They've filed into a queue. She's done some graphic liner on Bobby with little stars that makes his bright eyes pop out all the more.

"Ten minutes." Ryan is putting some hair gel through his hair. He puts some music on using a bluetooth speaker they placed in the corner. Lover, You Should've Come Over by Jeff Buckley comes on. I'm trying to stop myself from falling asleep but it's getting harder with each passing second.

"I'm so excited," Robyn says as she does Josh's eyeliner. She's made his more smudgy and messy. It suits him a lot.  "Elijah, should I do yours? Or Dahlia can do it?" She passes the tube towards me. There's some malicious intent behind her eyes. I narrow my eyes down to the black contraption, taking it uneasily between my fingers.

He lays down his phone and drink. He's trying to push all the hair out of his face to give me some access to his eyes. I kneel down on the sofa beside him. I grab a hair bobble from my wrist then tie the top half of his hair up. He groans as I pull some strands way too hard then relaxes into my touch. He smells like cigarette smoke and cologne.

"How should I do it?" I wonder out loud. I've opened the tube and I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about this. He looks like his teenage self with his hair like this. His eyes are maintaining a hard eye contact as I near him. There's a warmth rising to my face.

Robyn pulls out her phone and shows me a picture of Rodrick Hefley. I snort. "Try it like that," she says.

Elijah closes his eyes as I begin to draw little lines then smudge. I've grabbed his chin to keep him in place. I can feel the sharp stubble poking at my fingers. He opens his eyes every now and then. They're half-lidded, watching. I poke his eye by accident. I scold him for opening his eyes. He decided to instead keep them closed.

I admire my work once I've done. It's not my best liner but it's alright. The other boys gather around to get a look at him. His hazel eyes come into view and he smiles widely at the sight of us all. "Does it look good?"

"Looks class," Ryan says as he grabs a mirror. The other boys nod along.

Elijah looks at himself. He seems to not know if he likes it or not. He smiles at me and says, "Thanks, love."

I just smile back, pulling out the bobble from his hair. An unruly splatter of curls cascade across his forehead. There's something about him wearing eyeliner that's stopping me from thinking straight. It's different. I'm still sat half on top of him, one knee resting on his thigh and the other on the sofa. He helps me off of him then stands up.

He ruffles his hair as he says, "Let's get going lads."

The four boys grab everything they need for the show. Water bottles, instruments, drumsticks, their sanity. They all give each other a group hug. It must be some pre-show ritual because they all down their drinks at the exact same time. If that wasn't planned, it was uncanny.

"Good luck." I wave them off and they travel down the corridor in a straight line. As each of them walk out, I take a picture. Elijah is the last to leave. He stops in the doorway, still holding his plastic cup. He raises his lip to reveal his white teeth as I take the picture. He really enjoys making the strangest faces.

"If you don't get our best angles, I'll have to think about firing you." Elijah warns me just before he turns around. He then disappears down to another asylum-like corridor before I can get a chance to insult him. I let out a breath.

"That went well, right?" Robyn's trying to figure out what's going through my head. I can't even comprehend anything that just happened. The feel of his hand still lingers at my ankle. "That whole time you were talking to Josh about those chocolates, he was staring you down. It was pretty creepy, to be honest." She laughs. "Don't even get me started on the eyeliner. All of us felt like total third wheels."

"Sorry," I say. I play around with the bobble at my wrist. It had been wrapped around those glorious curls only moments ago. "God, I'm so in love it hurts."

"That's how I felt when I started liking Emmy. Literally all I could think about was her." Robyn is in a daze, eyes glued to the wall. "You need to do something before it's too late."

"After the set, I will tell him." I finally accept my fate. I could possibly not see him until next year. Or the year after. Who knows how busy I could get?

"Good," Robyn says. "I'm tired of hearing Elijah this Elijah that. Girl, I get it."

"You had an Emmy this Emmy that phase. Don't even start."

She frustratedly sighs. "Come on. I think they're going on."

I hear the crashing of drums reverberating through every wall, every floorboard. Slowly, we approach the main room. The bodyguard lets us through to the wings of the stage. I can see all the crowd from this angle. There are phones, cowboy hats and banners littered through the crowd. Some of the audience are people we had seen when Bobby was surrounded. They're screaming at the sight of the band.

The first song they play is These Are The Days. I keep my camera handy through every song. Elijah takes notice of us standing there. He steals a glance at us when he has a chance to breath. He's singing a lot stronger than I'd ever seen online.

Then they play through a few more songs on the new album. I sing along, I dance, I try not to get blinded by the flashing lights. Then all of a sudden they've finished playing Love Will Get You There and he turns to look right at me.

"This next song..." His words are pretty slurred. He's drunk. "This is an old one. I wrote this when I was about 17. There was this girl at my school who I just liked so much— I couldn't even focus in class. I played it to her once we'd got it perfect and she had not a single clue that it was about her. She still doesn't. It's been six years and I've never told her." He pauses and looks at me. "This is for you."

I'm overwhelmed by emotion. I raise an eyebrow at him. He just starts strumming along with his guitar. That's when I realise he's playing I Want You. They'd played that song to me in Elijah's garage. I asked him who it was about. He lied and said it was about his ex-girlfriend. I never thought twice about it. I never listened to it because it made me sick to my stomach that it was about her. A girl who I had been so jealous of.

"You got your lipstick on..." He starts singing. He's literally pointing at me. The crowd looks confused. They can't see me.

"Oh, Jesus," Robyn exclaims. "Oh, wow. I can't believe this. He's fucking confessing! Dally, I'm so happy for you right now. What the hell!"

Robyn is just as shocked as I am. We're both slack-jawed, wide-eyed yet caught in a silence as the song goes on. The crowd sings along with each and every line. The other members of the band have caught on with what is happening. They all seem to be pretty proud. Especially Josh. He's smiling so big it's making me smile too.

The truth is, I don't want the song to end. Or the show. I just want this moment to drag on forever. It all feels too good to be true.

The song finishes, the lights switch off, the crowd screams. I'm left in the darkness. Robyn is holding onto my side for dear life. The only thing illuminating the world around us is a tiny light bulb above us. My eyes start to get used to the darkness. I see a figure approaching.

"Can you come with me?" It's Elijah. His cheeks are tinged a shade of bright red. There's sweat lining his throat and his chest. He's taken off the blazer and has slung it over his shoulder. The eyeliner has bled down a little.

"Yeah..." I'm exasperated. My throat is raw from singing so much. My brain can barely process what is happening around me. My hands want to reach out and hold him close to me.

He grabs my hand, pulling me down through a corridor. We're both running towards the back door. I'm trying to match his pace but his longer legs give him an unfair advantage.

We finally reach the exit. He opens the door for me, allows me to pass through then shuts it. I'm met by London streets. Brick walls, crooked alleyways, a rubbish bin. It's not particularly romantic. But, with him standing there in front of me, it becomes the most romantic place on Earth.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like that," he admits. "I just couldn't stop thinking about you when you left. I was going to tell you at the airport when you were about to leave Dublin. So that you could think it through without us seeing each other every day. Then I got fucking terrified."

"I was going to tell you then too." I press my back against the wall. He's pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He offers me one. I let it rest between my lips. "I had plucked up some courage after I went to the toilet but then I sat beside you and forgot the whole script I'd planned out in my head. That was a pretty awkward five minutes. Felt like a century."

"We're idiots, aren't we?" He says as he lights his cigarette. "Josh has always known. I don't know how he never told you. He's great at keeping secrets. Six years of keeping his mouth shut. I don't know how he has that much self control."

"Six years?" I blow out a puff of smoke into the air. My eyes wander across the star covered sky. The moon is looming and watching us.

"I know." He's blushing again. He's trying to keep his distance from me, leaving a slight gap between us. "I'm pathetic."

"I liked you for longer."

"What?"

"Eight years. Since the day you started dating the blonde girl." I feel stupid saying it out loud. He's laughing at me.

"That's class."

We stand there in silence just looking at each other. I can hear ambulance sirens and birds calling. The brick walls is hard against my back. My shoes are covered in water from standing in a puddle. I can imagine that there's a camera above us. This could be a scene straight out of a film.

"Are you going to kiss me then?" Some sudden burst of confidence brings those words from my lips.

He's taken aback. His eyes fall down to my mouth. He then takes a step closer. I can feel his breath at my cheeks.

"Do you want me to?" His voice goes all low and his accent gets thicker. His hand reaches up to cup my cheek. Metal presses against my cheekbone. His thumb lazily draws a line across my bottom lip. His words hang in the air. "Dahlia, my love. Do you—"

I press my lips to his. I can't hold back anymore. I can taste the smoke on his tongue. His mouth is minty and his lips are soft. I've imagined this moment countless times. In a bookstore, in a train station, in the garage. But, this is perfect. Perfect.

My fingers sink into his hair. He groans into my mouth as I pull a few strands at the back. His thumb is sliding across my cheekbones. He's dropped the cigarette to instead use his other hand to clutch my waist. My hands are at his chest. His heart is beating incredibly fast. He holds me tight against him until I feel his chest rise and fall. Up and down. Breathing in and out.

We hear voices behind us. He pulls away quickly. We both turn to see a group of fans. They're teenagers and they're all dressed in bright outfits. They didn't see anything but they seem rather suspicious, whispering.

"Eli! Oh my God!! Can you take my BeReal please?" One of them shouts over.

Elijah runs his fingers over his lips. His ears are a pink shade. He slides his hand away from my waist.

"Yeah, sure!" He approaches the three girls with a small smile. He's trying to act normal. "I love your hats." He points at the 3 cowboy hats which spell out the word 'Inhaler' when they're all stood side-by-side.

"Thank you so much!" The darker haired girl passes him her phone. "Your eyeliner looks so good. You should do it like that more often."

"I had a grand makeup artist." He winks. I roll my eyes.

"Could Dahlia be in it?" The girl with glasses notices how I've awkwardly shifted to the side.

"Course she can," Elijah says.

I stand in the frame next to Elijah as he holds up the phone. His lips are red after being stained by my lipstick. I drop my head onto his shoulder and close my eyes. He nestles his face into my hair as he takes the picture. We're both giggling like lunatics.

I'm so glad it happened like this.

[cherrycola27]

Star Spangled Seresin

Series Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption. Political situations. Unrequited love, one night stand, military and political inaccuracies. Smut. 18+ Minors DNI. Banner Credit: @thedroneranger

Series Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

...........................................

Chapter 1: (I was) Enchanted to Meet You:

After you had left the apartment, Jaycee decided to take some time to herself and get some writing done for work. She was halfway through her article when her phone chimed. It was a text from Jake.

She took a deep breath. She shouldn't have given Jake her phone number. Jaycee didn't do relationships. Not after what happened. But Jake was sweet and made her cum three times and then fixed her breakfast the next day. So, in a moment of weakness, she gave him her number.

She checked his text. It was a message checking to make sure she had made it home okay. After confirming, she was fine, he asked her about her day.

Feeling bold, she snapped a picture of herself with a messy bun, glasses, leggings, and her oversized Georgetown sweatshirt with her laptop. Jake chuckled when he received the image before texting her back a selfie of him in a US Navy tank at the gym.

Jaycee blushed before typing back, "I figured you'd be the kind of guy who works out shirtless 😉." Jake quickly replied, "Normally, I do, but my back had a run-in with some nails last night 😏."

Jaycee's face turned red. And before she could fire off a response, Jake texted her again, "When can I see you again?"

Jaycee sighed. She wasn't a second date or first date, whichever this was kind of girl, but Jake did seem sincere, a nice meal, and some good sex did sound appealing. Of course, she'd have to keep it a secret from you, but that shouldn't be too hard. So, before she could talk herself out of it, she texted him back that she was free on Monday.

Moments later, a smiling selfie of Jake graced her screen with the message, "Fantasic. Meet me at Marcel's at 7:30. The reservation will be under Seresin, party of two."

Jaycee collapsed against the throw pillows of the couch. Was she really about to do this?

The rest of the afternoon was spent texting with Jake. She learned all kinds of things about him, from where he grew up, to his time in the Naval Academy, to his career in the Navy, and some about his family. Jaycee shared more details about herself than she had in a long time. She was about to order some takeout and text you to see what you wanted when she got a message saying you'd be out late and wouldn't be home until after midnight. Something with the campaign.

Jaycee rolled her eyes at how dedicated you were to your job before placing her order.

She'd just settled down to enjoy her orange chicken when a FaceTime from Jake lit up her phone.

"Um, hi?" She said as she answered it. "Hey." Jake said smoothly. "Sorry, I probably should have texted to see if you were busy, but I really wanted to see you again." Jake said.

"It's fine. I just got some takeout and was about to watch some true crime." She told him. "Oh, true crime? Are you more unsolved mysteries or serial killers?" Jake asks. "Unsolved mysteries for sure. And I love a good conspiracy." Jaycee replies as she grabs her chopsticks.

"Conspiracy theories are fun. Once Bradley and I get elected, I can't wait to learn all the secrets they keep locked in the Library of Congress. After the inauguration, I'm heading straight for the JFK file." Jake says without missing a beat. "Why JFK? Is it because he was assassinated in Texas and you're from there, or is it because he was a Navy man, too?" She asks him with a mouthful of noodles.

"Both." Jake confirms

Jaycee snorts out a laugh. "You know that secret section of the Library or Congress is a myth, right?" She tells him. "Guess we'll just have to wait and see. Maybe you and I can look for it together after the election." Jake tells her with a bright smile.

"Yeah, maybe," Jaycee shifts uncomfortably.

"So, other than run for office and fly planes, what do you do for fun?" She asks, changing the subject.

"I like to hike. If I am back home, I love riding horses on my family ranch. A pickup game of football or basketball is fun every now and then. I'm a great bowler, but even better at darts and pool, and I'm a sucker for a good musical or theater performance. My sisters were in drama and dance in school, so I always went to their shows and then started seeing a few shows on my own." Jake tells her.

"Oh, so you have culture?" Jaycee teases him. "What's your favorite show?" She asks him. "Hamilton, obviously." Jaycee can't help but laugh. "Basic." She teases him. "But it could be worse. I figured you would have said something like Oklahoma." She says.

"No self-respecting Texan would ever say their favorite show is Oklahoma." Jake says in a serious tone.

"So what about you, other than grilling potential vice presidents, what do you do for fun?" Jake asks her.

"Um, I like hiking too, I've never rode a horse, I like yoga, and reading, and mini-golf, and kickboxing. And I, too, enjoy the theater."

"So, what's your favorite show then?" Jake asks her. She can tell he's waiting to tease her.

"Wicked." She admits sheepishly. "Oh, and I'm the basic one." Jake rolls his eyes dramatically. "Hey it's a great story about fighting for what you think is right and denying social norms!" Jaycee defends herself.

"If you say so. I've never seen it." Jake shrugs. "What!" Jaycee shrieks. "You said you have sisters. How have you never seen it?!" She asks him. "I tried once. The flying monkeys creeped me out." He admits.

"Okay, okay. I get that." She tells him. "So, I had a really good time with you last night." Jake tells her.

"So did I. Three really good times." Jaycee admits. "I was talking about at the bar. Like, don't get me wrong, the other stuff was great too, but I enjoyed getting to know you." He tells her.

Before Jaycee can answer, she hears keys in the door, and your voice calling out to her. "Jaycee, I'm home!"

"Oh, shit, Jake, I've gotta go!" Jaycee says before quickly ending the call.

"Hey! I thought you said you wouldn't be back until after midnight?" Jaycee asks you. "Yeah, Bradley and I finished up early. Who was that on the phone?" You ask her.

"Um, no one." Jaycee says quickly. "Wait—was that Mr. Tongue Tricks? You gave him your number? Where you guys having phone sex?" You ask her.

"No, no, and ew, no." Jaycee says as she cleans up her mess in the living room. "Okay, whatever you say." You sing-song back to her.

"Hey, do have plans Monday night? Candice and Talia are going to be in town and want to get drinks." You tell her.

"Actually, I do have dinner plans. Sorry." Jaycee tells you. "No worries." You respond before heading to your room.

All of Jaycee's Sunday is spent texting Jake. The two of them talk about everything under the sun. He makes her feel good— happy even, something she haven't felt from a relationship in quite a long time. But then—

Jake had brought up the topic of dumb things he did as a teen and told her about the scar on his ass from a bull. Jaycce laughed at him. Then, he texted, saying how he loved how she had turned her surgical scar into something beautiful. She asked him what he meant. And then he replied, "The one on your side, that's the quill tattoo. Did you have your appendix or something removed?"

Her heart sank, and she dropped your phone. The scar he was talking about wasn't from surgery. It was from the worst moment of her life. She quickly got up and went to the mirror in her room. Jaycce lifted her shirt and traced the jagged lines that ran across her right side.

You had convinced her to get the markings tattooed as a way to reclaim them, but even though she had tried to make them beautiful, they still carried ugly memories.

Flashes of that night flooded her brain, the yelling, the glass, the blood —so much blood. She shook the thoughts from her mind.

Jaycee quickly changed the subject, but suddenly, her heart wasn't in it anymore. Who was she kidding? She couldn't date Jake, she had too much baggage for a guy like him.

On Monday, she barely texted him. And that evening, just as you were able to leave to meet up with your friends, she came out of her room dressed to go out. "Hey, wait up!" She called to you. "You're coming? I thought you had plans?" You ask her skeptically.

"They got canceled. Let's go get drinks!" Jaycee cheered as the two of you walked out the door.

At 7:10, Jaycee, you, and your college friends got a table at the bar right across from Marcel's

At 7:15, she watched Jake enter with a bundle of flowers.

At 7:25, he texted her that he was there.

At 7:30, he asked if she was on her way, and if she was running late, that was fine.

At 7:40, he tried calling her, and she immediately sent it to voicemail.

At 7:45, she stopped checking her texts.

At 8 p.m., she watched a deflated Jake Seresin leave the restaurant. Jaycee finished her drink and excused herself to the restroom.

Once she was alone, she turned off her phone and allowed a single tear to slip down her cheek.

"This is for the best." She told herself in the mirror." But she knew she was lying to herself.

Okay! Here we go yall! Taglist: @daggerspare-standingby @shanimallina87 @teacupsandtopgun @hecate-steps-on-me @roosterscock @roosterbruiser @roosterforme @seresinsbabe @startrekfangirl2233 @soulmates8 @xoxabs88xox @avengersfan25 @blackwidownat2814 @loveforaugust @mak-32 @cottagecori @amysteryspot @heyimmadisonn @princess76179 @bradshawseresinbabe @sunlightmurdock @lewmagoo @cassiemitchell @die-cunt @mj-l4 @shipinabluebottle @malindacath @violyn20 @imawkwardlysoc @books-for-summer @blackroseboulevard @recordblues @desert-fern @luckyladycreator2 @katieshook02 @samhapner6 @sebsxphia @roosters-girl @diorrfairy @je-suis-prest-rachel @dakotakazansky @mizzzpink @a-linabean @amklibrary @gretagerwigsmuse @jstarr86 @actuallyazriel @krismdavis @bradshawsbaby

[the-bar-sinister]

Lucifer Was an Angel As Well (14252 words) by thesavagesabretooth

Additional Tags: Ambiguous Relationships, Dubious Morality, Post-Canon, Inappropriate Behavior, vera has a crush on the man who almost killed her, Extremely toxic, Vera Misham-centric, Kristoph Gavin-centric, not ship not not ship but a secret third thing Miles Edgeworth has been looking out for Vera Misham since her father's death, but he's not the one she considers her guardian angel. The letters had started almost immediately after the devil was locked away from the sunlight, and she keeps them hidden from everyone despite their influence on her.

Meanwhile in jail, Kristoph tries to weave another spell, and regain some measure of control. Will he be able to secure a deal that allows him his freedom, or anything like it? And what will happen if he does.

-

August 26, 2028– 10:15 am

Vera was almost done with her shopping and packing for police academy. There wasn't much left to do, and a hum of excitement ran through her body, not only the thrill of her new future.

There were also the letters she'd received back from her guardian angel.

…it pains me to see the wrinkles and smeared ink on your letter– does the thought of me make you cry so much? Or is it really the thought of my absence that upsets you? 

If it's the latter, I have news that might excite you. Chief Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth will be contacting you very soon to ask you a question that may alter both of our fates…

Vera felt lighter than air as she folded her new wardrobe neatly upon the bed. She still had some shops to visit, some supplies still left to find, but she was nearly ready to face the Police Academy with all the strength she’d worked for these past few years.

The letter still lay open behind her against her desk, a source of strength and joy that she found herself returning to again and again as she bustled about her apartment. The news within, the amazing and unbelievable news, warmed her the way the last letter had left her cold.

Kristoph Gavin may escape the hangman's noose– the opportunity she’d been hoping for to save her guardian angel…

According to my sources I need three people to speak on my behalf if prosecutor Edgeworth is going to strike a deal. One I already have. The others are yours and Miss Trucy Wright's. Perhaps you could quietly put in a good word on my behalf?

Vera Misham’s heart fluttered in her chest as she once more turned back to the letter. With a word, she held his life in her delicate, paint-stained fingers. Mr. Edgeworth wanted to know if she forgave Kristoph for what he’d done…if she’d endorse his salvation.

He didn’t–couldn’t– know just how desperately she wanted to give it. And with Mr. Edgeworth’s offer, she no longer needed to throw herself into a drastic measure to save him from the gallows.

The small and fragile smile never left her face as she held the letter to her breast, inhaling its gentle perfume .

“I’ll tell him yes…” she whispered in reply to the written word.

And just like the devil had promised him in his letter, Mr. Edgeworth had sent her a message letting her know that he had a serious matter to discuss, and if it would be alright for him to visit this morning.

She’d responded in the affirmative, busying herself happily with preparing her bags for the big move to the barracks. 

She’d written a reply to her guardian angel and already mailed it out before Edgeworth would ever have the chance to see it. A promise that she’d put in a good word…that, if Mr. Edgeworth’s kindness allowed, she would see him soon.

All that remained of the visible evidence was the letter she held to her chest and refused to hide until it was necessary. 

Of course, it shortly became necessary when– right on time as always– Mr. Edgeworth knocked on the door of her home.

Vera quickly hurried to her drafting table, flipping open the drawer and hiding the letter under its false bottom with the rest.

After carefully closing it, she hurried over to the door and opened it with a bow of her head.

“...Mr. Edgeworth. Thank you for meeting me here, I’ve been busy packing..”

He smiled pleasantly at her, and even performed a little bow. 

"I'm very aware, Vera, thank you for lending me your time. I know you're in the middle of a lot right now, and I hate to put more on your plate. Hopefully, this will be a simple matter."

He stepped inside, letting the door close behind him.

Vera raised her freshly painted nails to her lips as she let him inside. 

“Can I make you some tea, or do you think you won’t have time…?” 

"Things are busy at the office right now, admittedly, but I always have time for tea with you, if you've got time to spare from your packing."

He shrugged off his outer coat and hung it on the peg by her doorway, following her toward the kitchen area.

Vera smiled timidly his way with a nod as she bustled along to start the water “Busy at the office huh? Is it with whatever you need to talk to me about?” 

"That's part of it, yes," he nodded. "We're in the middle of doing a lot of restructuring in the department. – is there anything I can help with, or shall I stay out of your way?"

Vera leaned on the counter as the flame flickered to life under her teapot. 

“Just make yourself comfortable…the water’s got to heat before I can do much of anything.”

She put her fingers to her lips again “I heard a little about that from Mr. Wright the last time we spoke..that there were changes happening in the justice system.” 

Edgeworth arranged himself elegantly in one of her kitchen chairs at her insistence and nodded. "Mr. Wright is correct. It's a big job, but it has to be done."

Vera thought carefully, disguising it as her usual quiet and hesitant affect. The restructuring of the justice system..; the changing of the very way they treated suspects and prisoners..this was what Kristoph had meant in the letter.

“I think that’s really admirable, sir.” She put her fingers to her lips, before they shifted to wind through the ribbon-wound braid over her shoulder. “The justice system has…has its flaws, we saw some of that in my trial, didn’t we?” 

"I suppose we did, yes," Edgeworth nodded, leaning on her table. He seemed hesitant, and a little defferent to her today. "But thankfully we managed to get to the right place in the end, despite mistakes and assumptions."

“Despite mistakes and assumptions…” she trailed off. “Part of why I want to become a detective, Mr. Edgeworth, is to try and help with that. By being one of the people with their hands on the evidence itself…” 

"I look forward to having you on our investigative team, Vera, truly," he nodded. "Your skills, I know, will be incredibly valuable on the side of the law. Especially once we've finished refining how the law is applied."

Vera smiled a little wider, a rare thing that only flitted on her face for a moment before she twisted her braid around her fingers again.

“I’ll be doing my best, I promise. Maybe I can help— help change the law for the better.” 

"Perhaps.Actually– the application of the law is the reason I've come to talk to you today."

The water heated behind her, she could hear the faint burbling of it inside her old and battered kettle as she fussed her fingers through the ribbon of her braid.

“I’m happy to talk about it, Mr. Edgeworth…what is it?” 

"I'm afraid it's not a very pleasant subject. So I'll approach it delicately. Are you familiar with Prosecutor Simon Blackquill?" Edgeworth laid his hands on the table, one over the other as he leaned toward her.

Vera nodded quietly. “Yes sir, I know him. I followed Mr. Justice’s cases on TV. He’s the former death row inmate who was prosecuting for a while while serving his sentence. There was that whole thing with the Cosmos case, too.” 

"He was," Edgeworth nodded seriously. "He was prosecuting cases for me as part of a larger investigation that I hoped would exonerate him for a crime he didn't commit– and that is fortunately what happened. However, my actions with that regard have set a… precedent."

The chief prosecutor spoke carefully, and precisely as he described the situation. As if he were in court in a delicate situation, or a tight corner.

“That someone could be allowed to prosecute from within prison, if they prove to be trustworthy enough?” Vera asked. “or even be exonerated, or pardoned if the situation allows? Just like Simon Blackquill?”

She kept her voice quiet and even, tensing her fingers around her braid. She didn’t want Mr. Edgeworth to think she was getting excited…to think she knew. Her letters had to remain secret, her thoughts on her guardian angel had to remain her own little secret.

He wouldn’t approve.

"Precisely," he agreed, nodding. "And someone that I consider a dear friend, whose judgment I once trusted implicitly, and still put good stock in, has asked me to consider another case for such a situation. A prisoner has requested to be allowed to work with the prosecutorial department. A matter on which I am seeking your opinion."

From the way Edgeworth's stormy grey eyes caught hers, she could tell he was wondering if she would guess what he had to say next, or if he would take her off guard.

Vera’s heart fluttered in her chest, but…she’d always had a good control of her emotions. Her quiet, placid expression never left her face as she tilted her head to the side.

“If you’re coming to me…” she started carefully “then it has to be about that case, yes? Mr. Kristoph Gavin?” 

Edgeworth closed his eyes briefly behind his little glasses, and he could see his hands tense on the table. When he spoke again, his tone carried little urgencies in it– sure to be attempts at reassurances, so that Vera would not recoil in horror.

"Indeed, it is the very same. I will tell you now, that I am very hesitant to even consider the idea. Blackquill, we had good evidence that the conviction was wrongful. You and I both sit here knowing that Kristoph Gavin's conviction was not. The man is a killer, and I do not trust him. But I have set the precedent, and I must give the matter due and honest consideration."

Vera opened her mouth to reply, only to be startled by the shrill whistle of the teapot. She jumped, her hand to her chest before she wheeled around and began setting up Mr. Edgeworth’s tea and her own.

In turning her back to him, she allowed herself the frail and tentative smile that had been threatening to bloom.

“Your friend thinks that he’d make a good candidate for the precedent you’ve set?” she asked quietly. 

"She has made the case to me, yes," he said delicately. "She was very compelling, admittedly, but I am extremely hesitant. After all, we've seen that Mr. Gavin can be both dangerously forward planning, and alarmingly physically violent."

Vera watched the water pour into one cup after the other, before adding the small metal strainers with her loose leaf tea packed within to each and clipping it to the side.

But he’s so much more than just the darkness. A devil is an angel too, after all. Where he could be physically violent, he could be tender, like when he taught me how to paint my nails. His forward planning could both be dangerous, and helpful…his advice sound.I wouldn’t have gotten this far out of the shell my father kept me in if it weren’t for his encouragement.“That’s true…” Vera murmured quietly. “But I wonder if it’s really true…his violence, or how much of it was circumstance.” 

Edgeworth looked up curiously, and there was a small, sad smile on his face. "That's very compassionate of you, Vera. I need you to know I am very much not pushing you to agree to this. And rest assured your opinion isn't the only one that I'll be considering. I had him speak with a psychologist, trying to ascertain the answer to the very question you mention."

“And what did the psychologist say?” She asked curiously, placing the mug down in front of him with the faintest smile. 

"She worked up a psychological profile of him that went on for ten pages," he drawled. "The short version of it is that she thinks he's stable, and that circumstances that drove him to kill are, in her words 'unlikely to be repeated'. She believes him to be largely self-interested, and that despite his confidence, he wouldn't attempt another murder now that he's been caught. Additionally she– like Lana, my friend– brought up the idea of justice being done by him being given the opportunity to do good in the world rather than evil."

 Vera sat down opposite him, looking up at him with her dark and serious stare.

“I think I agree with that, Mr. Edgeworth. From what I know of Mr. Gavin…that sounds like him.” Her hands folded around her mug, rubbing the ceramic with the edge of her thumb as she nodded once. “I think he’s not likely to kill again…and I support the chance to let him do some good in the world…though there’s on-one thing…” 

Edgeworth raised his eyebrows, and leaned toward her. "I'm listening, Vera."

She rubbed her thumb nervously over the hand painted mug’s surface

“If it works out– and he prosecutes for you. If I don’t fail in my time at the Academy…I want you to assign me to him. “ She hesitated before she added– “so I can keep an eye on him.” 

Miles Edgeworth looked at her in sheer disbelief, his eyes wide and his glasses slipping down his nose. "Vera, I– that's certainly a request I did not expect. I can see why you'd want to keep an eye on him, but wouldn't you prefer I assign some– mm, more heavy handed watchdog to the man? Should any of this even take place."

Vera watched every expression flicker over Edgeworth's face. Perhaps he was thinking about what had happened with Simon Blackquill's 'watch dog'

Vera sipped her tea quietly before she worked up an answer. 

“I’m not as weak as I was two years ago…and I don’t think a heavy handed touch would help with Mr. Gavin, anyway.” She looked into the darkened liquid in her cup, and the ripples that flowed as she placed it down again. “I trust myself to keep him in line, and I don’t think I’d be happy if someone else were to watch him on my behalf.”

Miles Edgeworth wrapped his fingers around his cup of tea and took a sip. He made a wildly incorrect guess.

"You think it would be… useful… to remind him constantly of his sins."

It was a useful lapse of logic for her, at the very least. Better than the unpalatable truth that the devil still held a hold on her heart. She smiled faintly with a nod. 

“Potentially, yes. It could be a reminder…I could be the angel on his shoulder.” 

Yes, the devil certainly had a hold on her heart– maybe his methods had even rubbed off on her. It was a bit manipulative to allow Mr. Edgeworth his misapprehension. But if she didn't… would she get what she wanted?

"The angel on his shoulder," Miles repeated, considering. "I suppose that you could be. If this were to move forward. You said that you'd support the idea if I were to allow this condition– shall I assume that if I do not, then you would revoke your consent?"

“I would have to strongly consider it,” she murmured. “but I want him to have the chance to make up for everything he did.” 

I want him to be free…I want to see him again. 

"As if such a thing could be possible," Edegworth sighed. "Vera, I will consider your request, but I don't know if I can guarantee it. If nothing else, there will have to be someone else assigned to him while you're in the academy. I'll be asking Trucy Wright her opinion next. if, for some reason, she should give her support…"

“Then Mr. Gavin will be given his chance at rehabilitation?” Vera couldn’t help but lean over the table, even if she stifled the hope before it became audible. 

He set his jaw, and wove his fingers together. 

"So far, as well as Lana Skye's endorsement, my court psychologist, Athena Cykes has given her own firm endorsement. You have given me a hesitant one. In light of this, should Ms. Wright give me her own firm endorsement, I may be forced to allow the precedent to hold. If she's more hesitant, I may return to confer with both of you on the subject. Vera– if you want to shut this down, all you need to do is give me a firm 'no' and it will be spoken of no more."

Vera grabbed her mug with a quiet smile.

“I want this to happen, Mr. Edgeworth. ...I just want to be a part of it. Like I said…” She brushed her finger over the mug. “...Please tell me what Trucy says.” 

August 27, 2028– 4:00 pm

It turned out that Vera didn't need to ask Mr. Edgeworth to relay Trucy's reply to her, because the next day, Trucy contacted herself and asked if she could come over and talk about 'Mr. Edegworth's question'.

Vera replied– after putting away her half packed suitcase and the partially complete attempt at a painting on her drafting table– telling Trucy that she could come over whenever she wanted.

So Trucy had already been told. Meaning the votes that will determine Kristoph Gavin’s future were cast.

When Trucy came in that afternoon and hung her hat and her magician's cloak up, Vera could see the dark circles under her eyes, even though she smiled widely.

"Long time no see, Vera!"

Vera smiled at her faintly as she gestured for her to come inside. Her own eyes had dark circles, as they often did, for for once her and her eternally peppy friend seemed to match.

She could guess exactly why…

“Long time no see, Trucy.” she murmured happily. “I’ve missed you..” 

Trucy grabbed her into a little hug. "Aw… I missed you too. I know you've been pretty busy, like Pearl, huh?"

Vera squeezed her tight with a quiet laugh. “Yeah…the police academy’s got us both running around getting ready. I still wish I took a little time to visit anyway, though.” 

"It's okay. I've been busy training up my new assistants, too. Seems like everybody's busy, busy busy." Trucy chuckled and shook her head as they parted.

Vera nodded, brushing her hair over her ear…she hadn’t had the time to put it into the braid just yet today, and it hung in curls over her shoulders. 

“The world’s changing and we’re changing with it…” She gave Trucy a smile. “...it’s not always a bad thing.”

"Sounds like someone's excited for the big day." Trucy smiled, and wandered into the room toward the kitchen. "You must be mostly packed, huh?"

Vera followed closely behind. “Mostly…I need to do another shopping trip for some essentials, mostly. But other than that it’s just the last suitcase…can I get you something to drink?” 

"Sure," Trucy chirped. "Whatever you're having– I don't want to trouble you." 

The magician leaned on Vera's counter and gazed thoughtfully up at her ceiling.

Vera thought for a moment before she got out some iced tea from inside her fridge, bustling around the kitchen as she worked to get Trucy a glass.

“You’re never trouble, Trucy��you’re one of my friends…” Something precious to her, given her late start and withdrawn personality. 

"You're too sweet, V." Trucy smiled, looking at her over her shoulder. "I'm really glad we're friends. Are you doing okay?"

“I’m glad too, Trucy...” Vera turned with a nervous nod of her head. “Yeah…I mean, I’ve had a lot to think about, admittedly. Are you doing okay?”

She offered her a glass of iced tea, ice clacking against the glass’ sides. 

Trucy took the glass and raised it in salute to her. "Me? Oh yeah, doing just fine you know?"

Vera raised her own glass. “Even with Mr. Edgeworth’s question?” 

"Oh sure!" she said, taking a sip of the tea. "Kind of wild though, you know? Not exactly what I expected from my afternoon!"

Vera blinked a bit at her, before she took a sip of tea as well. “Not what I expected from my afternoon either when Mr. Edgeworth spoke to me…I..ah…I gave the idea my approval.” 

The ice cubes in Trucy's glass clinked as she jolted. "You did, huh?"

She nodded slowly as she stared into her glass. 

“Yes. I did. I know Mr. Edgeworth wasn’t…happy…to hear it. And I know he killed my father, but I wanted to …” She trailed off before she spoke back up and continued “I wanted to give him the chance to do some good.” 

Trucy looked at her out of the corner of her eye, without turning her head toward her. "What about you, Vera? I mean, you're the one he tried to kill, right?"

Vera looked at Trucy with a tilt of her head. “And he almost did, yes.”

She had thought about it, the feeling of the poison in her veins, the pulse of agony before she’d fallen into the seemingly endless darkness– the fact that death was hidden in her two favorite things in the world…

Her magic charm, and her favorite stamp of Trucy’s father and his troupe.

She knew Edgeworth, Trucy, Phoenix– they all would have wanted her to hate him for it. 

She couldn’t help but think it was almost mercy. 

She’d been, at that point, condemned to a life of being nothing but a printer of copies. Too scared to leave the house, ever deeper in criminal corruption without even understanding what it was she was doing.

She was glad he failed, and glad she survived. But she could see the logic she knew their surely had to be in the seemingly cruel and heartless action of the devil himself.

“But I-..in trying to poison me, it allowed me to meet all of you and to find a foothold in a life I was never meant to have.” 

"Well, I guess, but it's not like he meant to do that, right?" She cocked her head at her again, looking at her with her deep, penetrative gaze. "Do you know why he did it?"

Vera’s heart skipped a beat, and her fingers tightened on her glass. “Not 100% for certain, but I have my guesses…strong guesses based on his behavior towards me since I’d met him.” 

"Can I ask?" Trucy brushed her hair out of her face. "Cause.. that's kind of my hesitation, you know? I know he killed my dad and all, but…"

“But there was a circumstance?” Vera asked a little faster than she knew was ‘acceptable’.

She bit her lip and her manicured nails tapped against the side of her glass. 

“...I think he did it as a twisted way of trying to save me, Trucy.” She looked down into the glass “My life was hopeless when I met him. I was too scared to leave the house, and instead of…of ever doing anything to help me overcome it or even just protecting me as I tried, my father saw my talent for art and turned me into a production mill for forged art. My life was that rotting old house, my father, and my criminal talent.”

Vera frowned thoughtfully. “Papa was a demon who played the ‘kindly old man’ role to perfection. Mr. Gavin…he was kind to me from the moment I met him. I think in his own mind, letting me pass into the next life was the only way I could have been free. That’s why he chose something so quick, if not painless.” 

Trucy's fingers tightened on her glass, and she nervously chewed the knuckle of her free hand.

"Trying to protect you, huh? From your rotten papa…."

Vera’s smile turned tentative on her face as she nodded. 

“Yes…trying to protect me from my rotten papa…and trying to help me escape the filthy prison I’d grown used to.” She brought her thumb up to her lips, nervously nibbling just under where her nail ended, against the fingertip. “like a guar…guardian angel. So…so I’m willing to give him a chance, provided I can watch over him. It…it sounds like you heard something similar?”

Trucy put her hand down, and bit her lip, looking away. "Something like that, I guess. At least I think I understand a little more. I wanted to know if you'd be upset, you know? And also if, well, he just tried to kill you cause he was completely bad."

Vera shook her head. 

“...I’m not upset. I’ve actually asked if I can be assigned to him once I graduate…” She chewed her fingertip quietly as she murmured ‘...that makes sense…but no, I think he had a reasoning.” 

Trucy shifted where she was standing and turned to face Vera more fully now.

"You asked to be assigned to him, huh/"

Vera nodded, keeping her expression still and placid as she could. “Yes, I did. Mr. Edgeworth seemed unhappy, but I insisted.” 

"I can see why Mr. Edgeworth wouldn't be too happy," Trucy said. She took another long sip of her iced tea. "But if that's your ambition, then Trucy Wright will support you all the way, got it?"

Vera looked up at her in surprise 

“Trucy…thank you. ..you really are one of the best friends I’ve ever made.” She smiled widely. Cautiously, she reached her hand out towards her. “Whatever your ambition is, you’ll have my support too. Okay? And if you need someone to talk to about…all this…” 

Trucy smiled back, and clasped her hand. "You too, okay? A magician is great at keeping secrets, you know. So you can tell me anything you don't want to tell anybody else."

Vera nodded seriously. 

“You’ll be a confidant.” she murmured softly, and her eyes briefly glanced towards her desk “...sworn to secrecy.”

"Magician's honor. And I trust you to keep my secrets too."

Vera laughed into her shaking hand “I’m no magician…but I can promise you that I can keep a secret. I won’t tell a soul anything you ask me not to.” 

Trucy put her finger to her lips and nodded. "I trust you, Vera! So that makes us confidants."

Vera nodded. 

“Confidants, Trucy Wright.” She looked down into her glass before she looked up with a genuine smile “I’ve been keeping correspondence with Mr. Gavin since his imprisonment.” 

Trucy's hand flew to cover her mouth as she gasped. Her look was shocked– but not necessarily judgemental.

"Oh my goodness, you have?"“Please don’t tell anyone…” Vera’s fingers tightened on her glass. “but he sent me the first letter only a few months after I woke up from my coma. Ever since then we’ve been writing back and forth…he’s given me advice, and I’ve kept him company through the…the written word.” 

"Oh wow…" she chewed on her knuckle. "Right after… I guess it would be easy to send you letters, huh, since you live alone?"

Trucy glanced away thoughtfully.

“Exactly… and something grew out of that. A correspondence, back and forth." She looked up at Trucy, her expression making it clear something was on her mind “...thoughts?” 

She bit her lip, looking uncomfortable. "Just that if he ever sent me any letters around that time.. I don't know that I would have received them."

Vera nodded slowly, brushing her hair over her ear with a sad half frown. “...Because you live with your father, who…who was very unhappy with Mr. Gavin.” 

Trucy nodded along with her. "Yeah, um. Mr. Gavin and my daddy were very…. close. I think it hurt daddy a lot when it turned out he did what he did, and he got put in prison."

“I understand…I think Mr. Gavin hurt a lot of people that day. Mr. Wright most of all, perhaps.” Vera sank into her chair. “And Mr. Wright isn’t a man who forgives easy.” 

She followed Vera over and put her arms around her from behind the chair. "He's super not. Daddy's amazing and loving and cool and courageous– but he doesn't forgive people easily at all. So. If Mr. Gavin ever sent me any letters, I didn't get them. But it sounds like you've had quite the correspondence."

“Sorry you didn’t get any, Trucy. …I can ask him if he ever sent you any, if…if you want me to.” She bit her lip “..I have over five hundred letters in my drafting table…if you want to see some of them.” 

Trucy's hand flew to her mouth again. "500– in two years? That's so many…. wow. You guys must have shared a lot by now. Um… honestly, I'm curious, but I think it would feel too rude to snoop on your private letters."

Vera relaxed a little bit, leaning back into Trucy with a little smile. “That's fair. We’ve shared a lot…twice a week like clockwork. He’s the one who suggested I try and become a forensic scientist after I lost my inspiration for art.” 

"He is, huh? Well, you seem pretty excited for it." Trucy leaned down close toward her, unconcerned with personal space as the magician usually was.

A while back, Vera had been nervous about it. She was unused to others, especially so close to her personal space. The attempted kidnapping, her father, they all lead to a certain wariness over her personal space.

But the more she got to know Trucy Wright, the less nervous she got. She had to admit it was a comfort by this point– a sign of friendship and care.

“Of course I am…when he brought up the idea I got excited…more excited than I’d felt in months. My eyes and hands are good for more than just forgeries, after all..”

"It's true. You can do whatever you want to do with your talent, not just what–" Trucy faulted and fell silent for a moment, and Vera felt her fingers tighten on her, "well, what other people expect you to do with it, you know? You don't have any duty to just keep doing what you were raised to."

Vera looked up at her, tilting her head back with a concerned furrow of her brow. Trucy Wright– the magician scion to the Gramarye legacy, her old idols from the only show she’d ever seen, certainly knew about the weight of talent, and the path of expectations.

She’d followed every trial obsessively, tracked every revelation and twist during that tumultuous year in the Wright Anything Agency’s life. She knew the cursed and bloody Gramarye legacy weighed heavy on Trucy’s shoulders…after all…

She’d written part of it with her forger’s hands.

If anyone aside from Mr. Gavin understood her, it was Trucy. And she understood her.

“Nobody’s beholden to what they’re raised to be. Even if it’s hard to break away from it.” ” she quietly agreed. She reached up and put her hand against the side of her face with a sad smile “...Thank you Trucy. I know you understand that as well as I should.” 

"Yeah," Trucy nodded, leaning her cheek against Vera's hand. "It can be hard to break away from, but you're not beholden to it. It's all up to your own choice. And it sounds like… somebody's helped you make a good one for yourself."

Vera nodded, her thin fingers brushed against Trucy’s face with smooth and manicured nails.

“Someone has, and…and I’m embracing the path I chose with the push I needed.” she smiled at her, the implicit continuation on the tip of her tongue. ‘And you can too’. 

[madaboutmunson]

WIP Wednesday

Here is a treat as I haven’t posted something in forever.

[captions welcome]

I went for:

“Eddie doesn’t like the show and he’s gonna make it a problem!”

Other things:

I’m working on a lot of different events and projects right now. I’m still writing a fic that turned into a bit of a beast, but once it’s finished I’ll be posting chapters on a more regular basis for it.

So here is a snippet from that mini beast

ITICHBS (it’s a secret 🤫 😂)

rockstarSteve x photographerEddie

Eddie goes to type back, but he feels the car slow to a stop. A crunch of gravel and muffled voices. Moments later, his door is opened.

"Mr Munson?" The woman asks as Eddie steps out and nods. The car is swarmed by athletic people sporting black security uniforms.

The woman in front of him makes eye contact with her team members and then looks back at him, "Your agent said you were staying?"

"I-I am. Just not here." Eddie says nervously. He was supposed to be, that's what Marney had advised, but Eddie had dug his heels in and got an airport hotel instead, at his own expense, "I'm so bad at waking up for flights, so," he scratches the back of his neck, "the closer, the better."

She folds her arms and levels him with a look before scanning him up and down. "You don't want to spend the night? Stay in Steve Harrington's house?" She almost laughs out the last question.

Eddie figures it's something ingrained in him that is making him nervous with all these official-looking uniforms around him, "Not if I wanna keep this job," he says with a forced laugh, looks down and rubs his stomach, "I should really learn that fast food doesn't always agree with me." He raises his eyes to her to see if his performance has landed, and though he's not sure she believes the story, she seems happy enough to accept it for some reason. She extends her hand to him.

"Buckley. Head of security here for Mr H. This is my team. Get to know their faces and names if you care to. If it's not one of us telling you, it's not mandatory." She says and waves him through the huge ornate gates that slowly open as she signals to the house.

Eddie quirks an eyebrow at that. Mandatory? If it's not one of us? What did that even mean? She didn't look like your typical bodyguard or security guard that Eddie had seen over the years, but knowing he'd be meeting her at the gates, he'd done his research.

Robin Buckley. She'd only ever worked with Harrington, no one before, no one in-between. She wasn't a waif by any stretch of the imagination, but she was not your typical heavy-set build either. However, the footage Eddie had unearthed last night definitely sent the message home that she is not to be fucked with. She easily kept the crazies at bay, and Harrington's humanising posts about how safe he felt with her around, made her a fan favourite. Even though she was often the only thing standing between him and his adoring followers.

He'd seen three times caught on film she'd intercepted a weapon or projectile aimed at Harrington. One effortlessly caught out of the air, cool as anything. Then there was a guy with a gun who had been leg swept to the floor, had his wrist snapped, and was disarmed in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it display of prowess. You could see on the video Harrington hadn't seen any of it. Busy leaning back into the crowd for a selfie at the barrier with a fan's phone. Her team carried that guy away, and she just fell back into step beside him. The third was definitely the most terrifying. Mainly due to the fact, there were so many different views of the same event because it happened whilst Harrington had been singing one of his most famous songs. It looks like a fan rushes the stage, not uncommon, but as Harrington shuts his eyes to croon to the crowd under the spotlight, something catches the light in the fan's hand, and if this had been a movie, you'd swear this would be the singer's last scene. But it wasn't. From out of nowhere, Buckley's big black boot steps into the light and puts the assailant in a choke hold from behind. They were out for the count in seconds and pulled back with her into the darkness.

Hope you liked it 🥰

[riddlerosehearts]

🐍No worries! I'm likely going to be slower at responding too since school's getting busier again, but I always enjoy reading your answers!

Oh man I didn't even remember that part about Athena kids (it's been really long since I last read the series) but yeah that'd make things even more complicated... especially if like, Jamil has to learn to fend off these monsters on his own since a young age and be able to take care of Kalim, I'd think he'd have to quickly learn to be just far away enough from Kalim so that if any monsters attack, he'd be the only one harmed instead of Kalim, which is just awful. I love your suggestions for their godly parents though, they all fit so well but nemesis kid jamil is like extra angst: he's a child of revenge, he probably wants revenge for his life being the way it is, yet he's bound by his position and can literally do nothing about it unless he snaps from the pressure.

I went through your valdangelo tag and there's so much good stuff there! The heavy focus on romantic relationships in HoO felt like Rick just really wanted to pair everyone off before everyone had a chance to develop as an individual or explore other types of relationships with the rest of the cast. I found myself disappointed in several characters and longing for what could've been, even though the pjo series is dear to me. But the beauty of fandom is people can fill in those gaps or rewrite things and the valdangelo stuff definitely counts.

I think Leo wouldn't be putting tons of outward accessories on his uniform but he might add several secret pockets to stores things in, since in this AU I assume he doesn't have the toolbelt. If it's hotter outside he might just wear the vest unbottoned and no blazer, just bc I don't think they allow students to wear zero dorm colours haha. I do think he's likely the type to roll up his sleeves a lot though! And he likely enjoys the PE uniform far more than the usual one. Speaking of which I think Leo'd enjoy the lab classes more since they involve getting hands on and making stuff! And Nico might enjoy the ceremonial robes while Leo'd find them too bulky and stuffy and be on his way out to change the moment any ceremony is over.

I feel like I'm running out of interesting questions to ask about the AU (curse my lack of writing creativity) but I'm starting to work on some doodles and hope to show you eventually! In the meantime if you have any more headcanons for either of Leo or Nico or literally any other PJO characters in TWST please feel free to share them/make posts! I don't get lots of posts on my dash these days so it's easy to find yours, I'd love to hear more of your ideas. (Did I mention I was living vicariously through your PJO reread since I want to do it too but just can't make the time? Your commentary is great ❤)

sorry this reply took even longer LOL, if you've seen me keep posting but not replying i hope it didn't seem like i was ignoring you. just gotta find the time/energy to answer asks and messages sometimes.

yeah, annabeth talks about it when she's telling percy how much she hates her dad and her stepmom in TLT and it lowkey made me feel sympathy for frederick chase on my reread, just because i really don't know what i would do in the situation that athena put him in lol. of course, he still should've done better to make sure annabeth felt loved and secure even if he hadn't wanted a baby. but i also got to thinking about how that would affect riddle and i feel like it'd be so rough because it's like, at first his mother might think it's good that her child is blessed by the goddess of wisdom because he'll be a natural genius and easily be able to become a doctor just like she wants. but then monsters would start to attack and she'd see it as him bringing danger to their family and anyone else around them. just imagine what it would be like if when he sneaks out with trey and chenya, they get attacked and she finds out about it... also agree with what you said about athena kid jamil. nemesis kid jamil would also be crazy though, because just look at the list of powers we know nemesis herself has:

and while we've only ever seen two nemesis kids in canon, one of whom we know basically nothing about, we do know that ethan nakamura may have tychokinesis because as also explained by the riordan wiki: "this might explain his lucky hit to percy's weak point, which nobody but percy knew at the time."

so like, imagine if jamil inherited that ability too and he knew that in theory he could give himself just a little bit of good luck or give kalim a little bit of bad luck, just to get a tiny bit of revenge, but he doesn't know what exactly might happen and his position makes it too risky to try anything.

honestly, i think i would've been happy if every single romantic relationship in HoO (aside from percabeth of course because it was pre-established. and i guess maybe jasiper too just because it has relevance to piper's arc) had just been developed as a friendship, with hints of it becoming romantic toward the end. like how blood of olympus hints that nico and will like each other, but they really aren't clearly established as actually dating until trials of apollo. and speaking of trials of apollo, i know all of rick's post-PJO series are kind of contentious in the fandom, but i love TOA and this is a big part of why: while there is some solangelo and caleo stuff and of course apollo's past romances are discussed, the platonic/familial dynamic between apollo and meg is by far the most important relationship in that series. and i wish the friendships between the seven were written as well as i feel like theirs is. they all just don't feel nearly as close as they should for the most part.

this discussion about how nico and leo would wear the school uniform reminded me that i once came across a chart of how all the canon students wear it. i went back and found it just now: link. and from the looks of it, yeah, everyone, even kalim and jamil despite how much extra stuff they've added, wears either the blazer/coat or the vest so that their dorm colors are visible somewhere... except for idia lol. even ortho basically wears it post-book 6 but idia is the only student who literally wears just absolutely none of the uniform except for the pants. i agree with everything you said about leo! also, i love the cermonial robes, they are peak aesthetic. i had ceremonial robes idia on the home screen for weeks when i first started the game.

if you wanna ask me about anything else related to pjo or twst or other things i post about feel free to! i'm glad you don't have trouble finding my posts because i usually post so much that i worry about anons i reply to getting buried haha. also, glad you're enjoying my silly little commentary on my reread LOL. i've been going a bit slower than i'd like because i've had some stuff going on irl + started reading another book at the same time as well. but i'd been wanting to reread the series for a while and finally got started because i felt disappointed at all the stuff the tv show left out or changed. somehow the lightning thief musical still prevails as the most accurate adaptation.

hmm, as for other thoughts about the crossover... i just remembered that in one of my earlier replies i said i wanted to sort luke castellan and alex fierro into dorms but couldn't decide where to put them! so, here's some thoughts on that now:

luke - based on the dorm analysis i linked before, i keep getting the vibe that savanaclaw makes the most sense for him. he certainly has the tenacity, ambition, and athleticism to fit in there, and with how admired and respected he was at camp half-blood prior to his betrayal, i could see him becoming dorm leader. i also feel like to mirror PJO canon he would eventually overblot... and probably die from it in an incident that the school would absolutely try to cover up.

alex - she's genderfluid and is a girl most of the time but again we'll let her into NRC for AU purposes. alex is very clever, cunning and sharp-witted and is even associated with snakes. so i initially wanted to place her in scarabia before remembering that she's also pretty reckless and hotheaded lol. not exactly the embodiment of scarabia's emphasis on careful planning and deliberation. he even canonically hates big parties. i actually think he'd also fit well into savanaclaw! i can see him getting along well with ruggie.

and another random thought i had about nico: i bet he loves what a big deal halloween is at NRC. whether he stays in ignihyde or goes to ramshackle, he's going to be so ready to go all out with decorating the dorm and picking out costumes. and i can imagine him hanging out with the ghosts, trying to give them the best halloween they could have.

[billysgirllol]

“yes, exactly what i was coming to say.” she sighed heavily in relief, he was finally getting it. “yes i do— but that’s why i said one day at a time.” quietly speaking in return. moving her feet up, she rests her heels on the bed and curls into him. his scent, warmth and his familiar safety and love she’s always found in him for as long as they’ve been babies holding onto each other. she went months and months without him, crying over him... feeling him and being held only in her dreams. while being stuck in billy taupe’s presence, it was depressing and horrible… she figured this would never be an experience she’d feel again. doe eyes looking off to the side in embarrassment, until billy succeeds in getting her to look at him. eyes threaten to water at the words i won’t hurt you… just because it unraveled how much it really was still bothering her. being harmed by someone's hand... it wasn't like she'd forgotten the times step dad's hand, the preacher's hand, had been any kinder smacking her limbs when she was little. she just kept those things hidden from billy and her mama all these years until that big explosion recently that aided in causing it alas between her mother and him. "the first who won't." saying more to herself than him, never had hands felt more trusting.

"yeah, he wasn't too thrilled about the window on his truck. so he's been actin' like i'm gonna pay to fix it and clearly...i'm not fixin' shit. then when he gets back on his drunk at nights, here he goes usin' his friends phones to give the ole 'i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i won't do it again' messages. but i'm done with that... he'll never change and even if hypothetically he did... i don't care. i want nothin' to do with a man who hits a woman." that's one thing she won't forgive or take back. "i will, i'll do that. thanks for always lookin' out for me." if not for billy taupe, ironically, they wouldn't even be talking right now probably. so in a way, she does believe it all happens for a reason.

"course i liked it before... i mean, i'll accept you however you wanna look. but i admittedly do have an attachment to your curls. it's just how i always have remembered you, since you were little. you didn't know it, but little me would stand up lookin' at the back of your head while you were doing something like ordering ice cream for us. whenever i knew you were distracted. and be admirin' those cute curls." lucy gray admits, one of many secrets she's kept inside her mind before she laughs. laughing continuing as he makes her shy all the way up, causing an authentic blush to grace her olive features with her powder blush as she gets kissed on her jaw. refraining from freezing up and stammering. "oh, these are just my curls i left out because i didn't like the entirely slicked back look." good, now she has a reason to do something with her hands, twirling the right sided tendril hanging against her cheek with her finger. "and? she can't say anything because she lights up her own stress smokes ALL the time. plus, i won't tell her, come on billy...."

turning her head to look for his backpack, thinking she'll just steal it herself. "i always like the chocolate chip waffle, that's what i want tonight. and... that's not fair you get to smoke and i don't." even if she's smiling on the inside at him being just like the old billy. "noo, don't do that." she's gently grabbing his hand with his spit covered thumb in the fashion of a mom, moving it away from him cleaning off the makeup on her jaw. but the movement alone causes his thumb to swipe away the spot of foundation even if she doesn't notice, hopping up from his lap and grabbing his backpack. looking into it for those cigarettes as she briefly bends to snatch it up. taking a few steps back in case he tries stealing it from her. "it's really not as big deal as it seems." smoking weed. "come on, no snacks necessary. won't it be fun bein' smoke buddies? with the cigarettes, i mean. let's be rambunctious and rebellious and stuff. walmart's got beer and wine, too. not like mountain moonshine but it'll do." being chipper and hyper as she's acting now is a lot better than shedding another tear. "party at our mo-hizzle. yayyy!" she exclaims, hopping in place.

billy’s expression can only be compared to shifting glimpses of a kaleidoscope, constantly changing, displaying a plethora of different emotions in less than a minute. sadness becoming confusion, confusion morphing into disbelief, disbelief giving way to pure, unbridled shock. is it possible that he’s had it all wrong? that it’s not unrequited love he’s experiencing but mutual adoration? has he been blind this whole time? “what?” he mouths, his brain’s struggling to make sense of lucy gray’s confession but his heart faces no such dilemmas, beating like a hummingbird at the back of his throat. i love you, i love you, i love you, is all he wants to say but keeps catching himself just before the words can tip over his lips. it’s too soon, too complicated. tears stinging his nose, but he does his best to actually hear her out this time, no interruptions, no unwanted interpretations. once she’s done talking, he’s speechless, his chest twinging like his feelings are too big and heavy and his ribcage will have crack just accommodate them. “so you… you didn’t run away that night because you didn’t know how to tell me that you didn’t feel the same way? you just didn’t want to lose me as a friend and needed more time to think things through?” he recites her own words back to her, and although he’s still processing what she’s just told him, for once he doesn’t want to be anywhere but in this moment with her. “we can definitely take it slow and day by day, but…” he trails off as she climbs into his lap, his arms coiling instinctively around her slender waist, pulling her into him as close as humanly possible. the world around them melts away and for a moment he’s back home. she’s the only home that he’s ever had. their cheeks rubbing together, his fingers caressing her sides through the velvety fabric as the smell and warmth of her skin engulfs him whole. “do you really want to give it a try? ‘cause what if i don’t come home any time soon? what if i stay in new york? i just don’t want you to wake up one day and realize you’re unhappy,” he whispers in her ear, his hand refusing to let go of hers. 

billy’s extremely observant and doesn’t miss the way lucy gray flinches at the faintest touch, large palms framing her face in the most delicate way possible, holding her as though she was made of glass. “hey, look at me. it’s alright. i won’t hurt you,” comes a loving reassurance, the tip of his nose bumping against hers. ocean hues marveling at her visage. “and i won’t let anyone hurt you again.” he knows that she’s very much capable of protecting herself, but wants her to feel less alone. “sounds a bit obsessive to me. but maybe it’s finally registered that you’re not a toy for him to play with and break once he’s no longer interested. if he ever bothers you again, if you see him stalkin’, actin’ sketchy… you let me know, alright?” he’ll pay the scumbag a visit himself. “yeah, that’s what the beanie is for, though.” to keep him warm. he saves the story of how he shaved his head for some other time, not even realizing that her’s shorter, too. it’s pinned up so prettily, pulled into a bun, that he doesn’t suspect anything. “i’m not sure yet. did you like it better before?” he wonders out loud, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “speakin’ of hair, yours is even prettier, and the bangs… i really like the bangs. make you look even more adorable.” the only thing he doesn’t like is the fact that she’s covered up all her beauty marks. still, he presses his lips to the spot beneath the left corner of her lips where his favorite little mole should be. “yeah, no… your mama would strangle me with her own two hands if you were growin’ up and tryin’ new things with me. we can try somethin’ new at waffle house? somethin’ we never had before?” he suggests with a sweet smile, putting the pad of his thumb between his lips to get it wet before finding her chin again, shamelessly rubbing her makeup off that one beauty mark. he’s about to ask what possessed her to cover it up when the word joint reaches his ears and he freezes in place.

“a what? a joint? you smoke weed? who are you are what have you done to lucy gray?” he doesn’t even try to conceal the look of utter bewilderment that overtakes his features, his jaw dropping. he’s sure putting up with billy taupe requires a whole bunch of drugs, but it doesn’t sit right with him, makes him wonder whether she had been coerced into trying it. “your choice but my cigarettes, and i’m not… i can bring you a snack from the vending machine outside?”

[fantabulous-bitch-nextdoor]

Anyways I'm sick of people finding out your sexuality and/or gender from your or someone else (or in my case by going through your messages with your friends and finding your blog.) And getting big mad that you didn't tell them immediately and saying things like they have a bi friend or that one of their best friends is dating someone who's trans. Firstly it's not your right to tell me or anyone else someone else's sexuality or gender, secondly having an LGBT+ friend isn't the same as knowing what it feels to be LGBT+ like or being accepting and thirdly my not coming out to you immediately doesn't mean I don't trust you it just means I wasn't ready to come out to you yet. You have no right to get mad when someone doesn't immediately tell you their sexuality or gender or if you find out they've told other people before you. They don't owe you that knowledge and you have no right to that knowledge no one owes you that and if you're going to get mad that you weren't immediately told about someone's sexuality or gender then maybe you don't deserve to know in the first place

[alyssalenko]

Don't Forget Me

Here we are three weeks later and I realize I forgot to post my piece for the @kotorgiftexchange for @hnnny. I apologize for any sadness this causes because I made myself cry a little while writing this so I couldn't make it longer because it's hard to type when you can't see the screen XD. AO3

Carth and Revan have one brief moment together before the galaxy needs her again...

Carth’s voice floated out of the cargo hold, making her pause outside the open door to listen leaning against the door frame arms crossed over her chest.

“T3, there's not much time--I've seen that expression on her face before. Now I don't know where she's planning on going, but it's dangerous. She's going to leave without telling me--I don't know why, but there's a chance that she'll take you with her. If she does, I need you to watch out for her. She's strong, but she can't face everything alone. Do what you can T3--if she doesn't make it back, then I need you to come back, find help, if not me, then other Jedi, the Republic…I can't lose her, even if she wants to be lost.”

The hitch in his voice nearly undid her.

So he had noticed; she'd been trying to hide her worry and keep a smile on her face so no one suspected she was scared…except that it was more than that–she was downright terrified. She could feel something dark stirring through the Force and had been feeling it since long before the Star Forge had corrupted her and the Jedi had wiped her memory. She’d regained most of it and with it that same sense of dread that she’d felt at the start of the Mandalorian Wars: that something was very, very wrong–and it was happening again. Pushing herself off the doorframe, she ducked out of the cargo hold and made her way to their room to record a message to let him know why she was leaving--she didn't have the stomach to say goodbye in person.

There is little I can say that will ease this pain. Leaving you is the hardest thing I've ever done and I hope one day you'll find it in your heart to forgive me, but I have to do this. Something was behind the Mandalorian Wars–I feel the same darkness now that I felt then, and I sincerely believe it wasn't the Mandalorians' choice to attack the Republic. There are places I have to go that you can't, places I can't take the one I love because you'd be in danger and I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you. So I need you to do something for me: I need you to stay here, keep the Republic strong and know that wherever I am I love you and I'm sorry…and…don't forget me….

His timing was uncanny, finding her barely five minutes after she'd finished recording her message on her personal holocom and shoved the device under his pillow. With the way he slept, he'd find it first thing in the morning, when he bunched the pillow with his arm as he curled up and tried to catch a little more shut-eye before getting to work. Carth smiled at her as he approached, making her heart skip a beat when he leaned down and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. He didn't know she'd overheard him talking to T3--yet another secret she'd been keeping from him, they just kept stacking up and making her feel even guiltier. The galaxy needed Darth Revan again, whether she liked it or not, so her life had to be put on hold, indefinitely. She could tell him everything, but she didn't, instead letting herself get lost in his touch.

It was their last night together and she knew it--if she waited any longer she'd lose her resolve, though she didn't say it, hadn’t wanted to spoil it and let him think it was just like another night. When his breathing finally evened out, letting her know he slept, she disentangled herself from his embrace--he'd been holding her tighter as of late; afraid he was losing her--and pulled a bag from the bottom of the wardrobe, tiptoeing softly to the door. Slipping out in the middle of the night wasn't like her at all, but this was just something she had to do, and she had to do it alone. She paused in the doorway, glancing back over her shoulder at Carth as he slept, the blanket had slipped down to his waist, his arm flung out where she'd been and two obstinate strands of hair in his face begging for her attention, her fingers itching to push them back, but she stayed right where she was. This was a path she had to take and she couldn't–wouldn't–take those she loved with her, even though Carth would do anything she asked…but that was the most dangerous part of all. Who knew how long she'd be gone and he had Dustil to think of; they'd just started repairing their relationship again, he couldn't keep throwing himself in harm's way–but she could think of no better hands to leave the Republic in than his. She heaved a sigh and blew him a kiss before walking out the door, leaving him behind.

"I love you." She whispered into the quiet ship.

***

…300 years later, she awoke with his name on her lips…

[julemmaes]

The One Good Thing

Rowaelin Month, Day Two

A/N: again, I'm gonna fail all my exams because of this stupid app, I'm sure. Also, I miss the off campus boys so much I kinda made Fenrys one of them and I love the idea of the tog men as hockey players so yeah, enjoy;)

Word count: 2,581

Aelin would have killed for a second of silence.

She daydreamed of that almost noisy quiet that makes you feel every deepest thought hidden in your brain that exists only at 3 a.m., when every soul is resting and cars can't drive around the campus. And there are no children screaming at the top of their lungs or parties going on all night long.

That was what she had been promised, the flyers she'd been handed during the open days, when she had come to visit the college.

That was how it was supposed to be.

Aelin had tried so many times to ask her upstairs flatmate to hold his Twitch live streams strictly in the afternoons or mornings when she wouldn't be home, but when Fenrys Moonbeam had first opened the door to his place, the girl had known immediately that she wouldn't be able to change his mind even by paying him.

Especially since his live streams were followed by such a large audience that Aelin couldn't even begin to understand how he had managed to build an empire so big in just under a month. Surely it had something to do with the long blond hair, different from her own but just as beautiful, and the arms covered in tattoos so colourful they blind you. They had their own charm. Add to the pile the fact that he was the goalie on the hockey team, and he was the perfect mix for the guy to marry.

From what their common friends had told her, he was already earning enough to afford an off-campus home, but that he liked the comfort the college dorm gave.

A comfort that Aelin, after three years in those filthy rooms and shared bathrooms, had yet to find.

When yet another howl of celebration at yet another victory that everyone expected pierced through his floor and her ceiling, nearly drilling her eardrums, Aelin gritted her teeth so hard that for a moment she feared they might shatter.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to whisper, "Shut," failed miserably to keep her tone under control and shrieked the second word, "up!"

A booming laugh rang out upstairs and a millisecond later a message lit up her phone screen.

From Lys: Girl, maybe you should take a chill pill, I heard you on the live stream. Are you still studying?

She tossed the phone to the side, pulling her hair up and pinning it back with a pencil.

"Fuck off." she muttered under her breath.

Lysandra was one of the few in their group of friends who never missed a Fenrys broadcast. Whether it was at eleven at night or five in the morning, she was always one of the first to join in.

Aelin often wondered if she was just doing it because Fenrys was helping her sponsor her YouTube channel, but then she remembered that Lysandra would do the same for all her friends.

She got out of bed, taking all her books and notes in her arms, pen in her mouth and holding her phone between her pinky and ring fingers. She threw open the door to her room and found herself facing a wall of muscle, slamming into her roommate's chest.

Rowan's hands snapped forward and kept her from falling backwards and when Aelin looked up at his face, she almost lost her balance again.

His face was sleepy, only one eye open as he suppressed a yawn. The imprint of the pillowcase on his cheek just another sign that he had already been sleeping.

"Are you okay?" he asked her in a hoarse voice, stepping back and letting her through, "I heard you screaming. I was coming to check on you."

Aelin grimaced, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

He shook his head, moving a hand in mid-air, "Don't worry about it." then his gaze snapped to the ceiling as another laugh from Fenrys cut through the thin material dividing their quarters. He frowned, lowering his gaze back to her, and it was at that moment that he noticed the books in her arms.

If possible, his frown deepened even more.

He closed his eyes, gently grabbing her wrist and leaning against the wall behind him, pulling her towards him.

Aelin let herself be tugged, arranging the books so that they didn't poke at either her or him in that uncomfortable hug, but she positioned her head against his chest, letting his fingers expertly massage the nape of her neck.

"Baby." he sighed into her hair. Her toes curled.

It had only been a few weeks since they had decided to start dating, a few weeks since Rowan had confessed to having feelings for her. They had exchanged a few kisses in secret from their friends, wanting to enjoy that first phase of their very fresh relationship in privacy. They hadn't done anything too steamy yet, and Aelin had more than agreed with his decision to take it slow, but one thing Rowan hadn't held back in the slightest from the first second she'd agreed to go out with him had been the pet names he'd given her whenever they were in the safety of their dorms.

Baby was definitely her favourite.

His hands slid lower, down her back, and she looked up, resting her chin on his chest and fixing her eyes in his. His gaze softened, still clouded with sleep. "You shouldn't be studying at this hour."

Aelin grunted, smacking her forehead against his chest, "But I have a test tomorrow."

Rowan sighed again, pushing her away and taking the books from her arms. "Precisely why you should be sleeping." He walked towards the common room, speaking softly and hoping Lorcan wouldn't hear them. They both knew their roommate suspected something, but he didn't have enough worries in the world for him to actually give a shit about their possible relationship, and they also knew he would never say anything to anyone. Maybe to Elide, but neither of them would bet on it. "I left you alone tonight because you needed to rest, not stay up until morning melting your brain."

She followed him like a lost dog, dragging her feet on the ground, finally feeling that visceral fatigue get the better of her.

"I can't leave the study half done."

Rowan dropped the books on the table, turning around just in time to block her before she bumped into him again and slipped the pencil out of her mass of hair, letting it fall around her shoulders.

"You're not leaving the study half done," he told her as he rubbed her arms to keep her warm, "you've spent the last five weeks studying this stuff and I'm sure you know it like the abc. You need a break." he told her.

Aelin looked up at him from under her lashes, a little annoyed that that was true, but completely distracted by the lines his fingers were drawing on her arms. She took a deep breath through her nose, puffing out her chest and thrusting out her breasts, catching the attentive gaze of her almost-boyfriend for a nanosecond.

He smiled wearily at her, "Are you sleeping in my bed tonight?"

Aelin just nodded and took both of his hands, pulling him down onto her. Rowan squinted his eyes and placed his lips on hers in a quick, chaste kiss. She hummed in satisfaction as his hands slid under her bottom and wrapped around her thighs, pulling her up. She tied her legs around his hips and rested her head on his shoulder as Rowan made his way into their tiny flat.

He lowered her onto the bed, pulling the blankets out from under her body and laying down beside her before covering them both. Aelin moved as close to him as she could, pressing her back against his chest and her butt against his crotch, tangling their legs together.

Rowan's arm wrapped around her waist as the other slipped under her head and his hand found hers under the pillow.

The second they were settled, every bit of their bodies touching, Rowan left a soft kiss on her shoulder, pulling her even tighter against him.

She smiled weakly, in a drawling tone, "Thank you."

He hummed against her skin, "That's what I'm here for."

"Don't let me die around finals time?" she asked in a teasing tone.

Rowan chuckled softly, making her back shake, "Exactly."

Aelin tried to turn towards him, wanting to trace the pale freckles that were starting to sprout on his nose now that the days were getting longer and the sun kissed his cheek every afternoon, but his arms blocked her.

"No, it's not fair for you to be the big spoon every night. I'm fucking sick of it, I want to hold you today." he muttered, the chains of sleep already dragging him towards that blissful unconsciousness.

She huffed, stopping struggling against his grip, relaxing and feeling her muscles scream with pleasure after being tense for hours on end while she studied.

She hadn't realised she'd stayed up so long, but she was terrified of failing this last exam. If she failed it she would have to wait months before she could retake it and the idea of it was getting her down more than perhaps it should have.

She started thinking about the various questions the professors might ask her the next day, repeating the answers in her mind, closing her eyes as she thought.

"Baby," Rowan grumbled, "you're talking out loud."

She hadn't realised she was biting the cuticles around her nails until his hand came to rest on her arm, pulling her hand away from her mouth. He took a deep breath, helping her turn to face him.

When she looked up at him from under her lashes, she saw the way he was fighting sleep. And she felt terribly guilty. If she was having trouble sleeping the day before an exam, that didn't mean he had to stay awake for her too.

She was about to speak, tell him to close his eyes again and let her go into the living room so she could finish going over the last few pages and then return to his room, but he put his hand on her cheek and in a soft voice asked, "What's bothering you?"

She bit the inside of her cheek, shaking her head, "Nothing."

He tried to hold back a yawn again, but couldn't this time and Aelin's guilt grew immensely inside her. "If you tell me right now what's wrong, I could help you fix it sooner. And we could get at least three hours of sleep before we have to go to class." he pointed out in an exhausted tone.

She blinked once, twice, searching for the right words.

"It's Fen. If he'd stop playing so late every night-"

Rowan quickly cut her off, closing his eyes, almost as if he could no longer physically stay awake. "Ace, Fenrys never really bothered you. You've always managed to study and ignore it. What is it that's bothering you?"

Aelin let go of a shaky breath, "It's nothing, really. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

He only opened one eye, watching her carefully as she hid her face against his chest and wrapped her thin arms around his torso.

His hand began to slowly massage her back, "If we don't talk about this now I'll be up all night worrying."

She huffed, knowing full well how true those words were. For the love of the other, she began to ramble on about the real reason she hadn't been able to focus on the textbooks.

"I don't want to tell anyone we're together yet," she confessed under her breath.

Rowan opened both eyes then, fixing them on her and giving a small nod with his chin to keep her going.

"It's not that I don't want to tell the others," she said, referring to their closest friends, "but the second they find out, the news will become public knowledge and there are some people I really don't want to let that information get to."

He nodded, understanding perfectly who she was talking about.

"We don't have to tell anyone," he kissed her forehead, continuing to talk in that position, his lips brushing against her skin with every word he spoke, "it'll be our little secret for some time more, until we figure out how to get all the puck bunnies off our backs."

Aelin smiled, lifting her chin and kissing him.

Being the captain of the hockey team, Rowan didn't exactly go unnoticed on campus. Not many people approached him during the day, especially when Lorcan was at his side, knowing full well that they would receive nothing but a rude invitation to leave, but their friend couldn't spend his life attached to Rowan's hip, and the few times the two of them had gone out alone it had happened that a horde of fans had overwhelmed them. After those afternoons, Aelin had found herself the victim of not so nice threats from unknown numbers, as had happened to Lysandra when she had first started dating Aedion.

With Manon's help they had managed to track down the senders and Rowan had been unpleasantly surprised to discover that it was one of the girls he always partied with after the games. A girl he'd always considered a friend.

Rowan had taken all the blame, feeling responsible for those attacks on Aelin and it had taken months to convince him that he had no part in the insanity of others.

They'd started limiting the dates they went on as a pair, even when they were just friends, to prevent similar things from happening again, but Aelin felt trapped.

And she knew it was the same for Rowan.

She wished she could get a place off campus, where she could retreat with him, away from the prying eyes of the world, but it didn't seem right to bring up the topic of 'let's move in together' after not even three months of dating.

Rowan rested a hand on her cheek, moving a strand of hair behind her ear, "It'll be fine. And if anyone finds out and the threats come back, we'll do something about it."

She nodded, not entirely convinced and not at all reassured.

He knew instantly, "Aelin, whatever happens, I don't care what others think. I've waited years to finally have you. I've been on the sidelines all this time, watching you go on date after date with everyone and never with me-"

"You never asked," she mumbled in annoyance.

Rowan continued as if she hadn't spoken, "I would have preferred not to be the talk of the town all the time, but I'm not going to let public opinion take away the one good thing in my life."

She opened her mouth wide, "What about hockey?"

He shrugged, looking at her, "Hockey is just a sport."

"If Lorcan could hear you right now..." she shook her head.

"But Lorcan's not here. And you won't tell him," he made her silently promise.

They exchanged another brief kiss, before they carried on talking about all the worries she had and every word that came out of his lips acted as a sedative for her fears, killing one at a time, until she fell asleep in his arms, lulled by his soft breathing on her neck.

tog tag list (if you wanna be added or removed just dm me or send me an ask)

@maastrash @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sleeping-and-books @hellasblessed @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @letstakethedawn @terrible-and-proud @post-it-notes33 @booksstorm @nalgenewhore @queen-of-demons-and-hell @lanyjoy-13 @vasudharaghavan @cupcakey00 @bri-loves-sunflowers @queen-of-glass @thewayshedreamed @the-regal-warrior @fangirlprincess09 @januarystears @rowaelinismyotp @starbornsinger @bookstantrash @thegreyj

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

Sinners. (Stalker!San x You)

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Semi Non-Con, sadism, masochism, fear kink, hair play, head shaving, complete submission, humiliation, degradation, anal, camera play, piercing, denial, chastity, Psycho!San, twisted and dark fucked up shit. Read at your own risk. You've been warned. This isn't for everyone. It is purely fiction and doesn't reflect any individual's behavior nor does it encourage it.

It was early in the morning and she was about to go to college in an hour. But instead of running around having breakfast, getting ready and making sure she had her assignments ready, Y/n was standing in front of her mirror, eyes closed as she touched her pussy and touched an electric razor to her head, imagining what it'd feel like if it was on and an imaginary 'Master' was forcefully shearing her. Like a sheep. "Ahh... Master… please..." The girl let a whimper fall from her lips, having no idea that the curtains of her room were open and someone could watch her through the window.

"Fuck…" The man standing outside, behind the PCO booth on the sidewalk outside Y/n's apartment complex whispered to himself, feeling his jeans tighten. Taking a picture of the girl before switching it to video mode, planning to send her the photo later. It had been a while now. Maybe a bit more than a while. He was ready and sure now, unable to wait anymore.

San had to have Y/n now.

He had to claim her rightfully his. Or, he felt like he'd lose his mind now. Just watching the pretty girl wasn't enough anymore. He wanted to touch her, feel her, tell her, that he knew… He knew that she wasn't as innocent as she made herself look in front of the people that knew her. That she was actually a hormonal little dirty girl. And whilst nobody knew that nasty side of her, he did. The thought made the man feel powerful. In control. Like he had a claim over Y/n.

There was no way in hell that she wasn't made for him.

Y/n got done with masturbating and packed up before going to college, having no idea that she had a stalker. The girl spent her usual regular day at college, having no idea of the storm that was coming.

.

San knew Y/n were in class and that’s exactly when he wanted to send her the photo he took. A sick smirk made its way on his face and he took his phone out, sending it with the caption, 'having fun there?' He knew where she sat, a lone desk by one of the windows in this classroom, the spot he was standing in providing him a clear view of her face. Yes. The man had all the information he could gather about her memorized by heart.

Y/n was drifting off when she suddenly felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, peeking at the Professor sneakily, the girl took it out and unlocked it only to choke on her breath before starting to cough, making some heads turn which caused her to put the device in her hand away to prevent it getting seized. Her blood ran cold and skin paled.

What the fuck just happened?!

San patiently waited for the female to exit her college, her being earlier than the usual time today, however. The man grinned deviously as he texted her again once she passed by him in a hurry, his taller figure getting up to follow her.

'Will you give that show again? Would you like someone to shave your hair off? That’s what gets you off right?' It shamelessly read, making her tremble.

Y/n started to rush towards her house as she didn't live too far away from her college, not having to use any vehicle because it was barely a 10 minute walk as she nervously glanced around. She was quite twisted herself. And so, a dark part of her mind thought... things, making her start to shudder as tears welled up in self hatred. She hated the soft pounds in her southern region, overpowering the thump of her heart ringing in her ears as she reached the building and rushed in.

'What's the rush for, Princess? Are you so eager to touch yourself again? Tsk. Are you horny? Knowing someone is watching you?' San was absolutely sick in the head. Chuckling at his own text, he bit his lip and hit send.

Y/n was shaking as she read the message. Yes. In her fantasies this was… thrilling, exciting, pussy throbbing and she'd like to play like this with her top but… a legit stalker? She wasn't THAT fucked. Or so the girl belived, at least. Rushing to the curtains after locking the front door, the girl drew them while trying to catch someone's glance outside but no luck.

San had mastered the art of hiding as he watched her. It wasn't like this was new or anything.

Y/n felt hopeless. She couldn't even call the cops! What would the girl show them as evidence?! She didn't want to tell or show them this! Her filthiest desire.

The 21 year old was having a mental breakdown! All her savings were in this college. She could not run away, didn't have any friends because Y/n was a foreigner and the people of this country were rather hostile to any outsiders. Couldn't go back home because she had run away from there, which was a hell in itself, when she had received her acceptance letter.

'Aww come on now!' Her phone pinged again, and then again. 'You can’t keep the fun all to yourself!'

The realisation felt like a bucket of ice cold water everytime she was reminded of it. The person had seen her masturbating and that to the fucking… razor! They knew her fantasies and at that the darkest ones! She couldn't even text them back asking him who it was! The girl was simply too embarrassed to! What if it were someone she knew in her college or around the apartment complex!

It was a dark day and it started raining. Y/n felt tears streaming down her face as her heart beat never slowed down, more terror filling her as everything outside got dark and thunder struck.

Maybe she should call the cops... No one else would help a foreigner… She just knew it. Nobody liked college students especially that lived alone because they were 'reckless' and often lied to get a good laugh out of the elders with their friends. So no one really opened their door for a student they didn't know personally.

But what would she tell the cops?! They ask for evidence!

Meanwhile, San stood on the spot he had found. Even if it was literally the end of the world, he'd still be there. Always. She was his and he had to have her all to himself. There was no other way. The man wasn't exactly sure how he'd do it but he’ll find a way.

.

Y/n called the cops at last when she started suspecting someone's presence outside her apartment. Or window… she wasn't sure anymore. And the loud thunder outside didn't help her situation. Dialing the police the scared girl told them she was afraid someone was stalking her and needed an officer for security right now. i Telling them about the texts and deciding to leave the nasty parts out, she sighed in somewhat relief when they informed that they will send an officer on the way. The student grabbed a water from the fridge and sat on the couch, taking huge gulps while trying to calm down.

Finally.

It only took some minutes before there was a knock on the door. A nervous Y/n looked through the peep hole to only cry out in relief when she saw the uniform through it. "Oh! Thank God, officer! Thank you so much! You're here!" She  was overjoyed. "Thank you! I- I am so scared!" A weak sob left her. "Please come in!"

The officer looked around the house, nodding. "I need you to calm down, miss. Tell me everything. We are here with you." His tone was professional. His name plate read 'Park Seonghwa'.

"I- I have a stalker! I don't know how!" Y/n quickly locked the door after he stepped in. "Not many people like me because I am a foreigner! I don't know if it's someone from college troubling me o- on purpose or what... B- But they've been sending me some really p- personal stuff..." She looked up at him innocently, scared.

The dark haired man hummed and nodded. "Do you maybe know the number? Have you noticed any suspicious activity around you before? Is there someone who has a motive to do this?"

"N- No... I got the first text today... I- I am really scared... I've got no one here... W- What do I do?" She told him all of it, hoping that the culprit he caught as soon as possible so she could go back to her life where she was a nobody. No one knew her and she was just another face among many others..

"Alright. We’ll keep a close eye on you. Within this period, try not to hang out too much, yeah? It is best to come directly home after college. And call us on this number if you suspect anything." He wrote a number on a paper and handed it to the shaky girl.

"Oh... Alright officer... thank you..." She saved the number gladly. And since he was supposed to stay with her to ensure the girl's safety, they sat down and Y/n awkwardly turned the TV on. Oh she never had a guy in her apartment before.

.

After getting used to the feeling of safety, Y/n got up after a while, finally having calmed down as she felt hungry. Cooking some dinner for two people, she went and handed the officer one of the two plates. "You've been here since evening... Please eat." She politely smiled, softly blushing from the embarrassment. The girl was too soft, continuously thanking him like it wasn't his job.

"You're a true hero..." She giggled and sat on the other couch, totally not thinking about how handsome he was. Before a sigh left her as she was reminded of the situation. "Officer... What will happen to my stalker when you catch him...?" He knew her darkest secrets. "I am really afraid... They mentioned some... things... very private... things..." The girl finally confessed.

“Mind telling me those things, miss? It will help us with his punishment. The more detail, the better” he placed his plate down, grabbing his pen and notepad.

"O- Officer... I uh..." Y/n gulped. "I- I can't..." She felt ashamed

“Why not? We should know so we can sentence him longer in the court. This is not okay. And you’re a foreigner. So it may also come under bullying.” His tone was soft and assuring as he looked at her, concerned.

It took the student a bit of persuasion before she spoke, hanging her head low and fingers fidgeting in her lap. "I... I was being naughty with myself... A- And they took p- pictures from my window... A- And taunted me about my... p- preferences, s- sir..." She put her own plate on the table now.

The man only hummed, nodding in an understanding manner. “That’s such a disgusting thing for him to do…” Before the man continued. “You shouldn’t do those nasty things while your windows are open either, Miss… You never know who will be watching.”

Y/n was blushing hard as her cheeks felt extremely hot. "I am sorry, s- sir... I won't do it again..." She couldn’t help but reply obediently. Her sub side sometimes got the best of her.

Besides… The officer was so handsome... It wasn’t helping her situation here.

.

A few hours later when it was bedtime and Y/n went to sleep in her room after taking care of her assignments and on the work she missed at school today, the officer got comfy on the couch. He was going to be here until tomorrow morning. Unless something happened. The girl was so tired she fell asleep easily, feeling protected and warm despite the terrible weather outside.

It was really late at night when Y/n woke up to a phone call.. "Hello?" It was the police, informing her that the officer that had been sent to her house had a bad ‘accident’ on the way and whether she still needed an officer.

The girl’s eyebrows at first in confusion before it sunk in and her blood ran cold as the phone fell from her shaking hands. At the same time she felt someone next to her. On the fucking bed. Pure terror filled her and she slowly turned to look at the relaxed figure dressed in the uniform. A shaky cry left her as she started trembling, literally mortified.

“Tsk... The stupid cops ruined the fun.” His voice was nowhere near that gentle and warm comforting voice now. Instead a low and deep hiss filled with nothing but mock.

.

San's eyebrows were frowned when he saw the cop car pulling up. "Oh no... you did not, Princess." The male smirked and shook his head slowly as he noted that it was only one officer. Moving through the shadows, he pulled out his blade from the pocket of his pants, expertly swirling it around in his hand and toying with it like he usually did. "Now, let’s see why do you need the officer, babygirl" his voice was barley a whisper as he made his way over to the car.

San was always so slick with his movements, catching the non-existent sounds of his figure were barely audible to the human ear. Before the officer could even realise there was someone around, the male had banged his head against one of the entrance walls of the low rent cheap apartment building, dragging him into the darkness with him before stealing his clothes and then dumping his body in the river along his car.

It didn't even take him long. He was fast, accurate in his calculations and confident in his abilities. "Now, to my Princess' rescue" chuckling to himself as he climbed the stairs, pinning the nameplate reading 'Park Seonghwa' on his breast pocket before ringing the bell to her apartment.

.

"The real fun is only starting" San sang as he pinned her down on the bed, holding her wrists tight above her head. "You have no idea how many nights I've watched you touch that bitchy cunt of yours." His hard bulge rubbed against her thigh.

An astonished Y/n was trembling, warm piss suddenly starting to leak out of her in pure terror as her heart threatened to burst out of the skin of her chest. Oh no! Is that what she thought this was?! It took her brain a few moments to understand it as the realisation sunk in like a ton of bricks. "Y- You... You're... You..." She could only whisper, eyes widened to the shape of saucers as an evil grin made its way on his features.

As San felt the bed getting warm, he started laughing at the girl condescendingly. "Look at you! Pissing yourself like a baby! How pathetic and disgusting! Did you really think anyone would help you, tsk?" He loved how she was shaking, the glow of her skin caused by the little droplets of sweat, her heartbeat that he could literally feel and the terror in her eyes.

Y/n started crying, the piss not stopping as it pooled inside her thighs. "Y- You're... You're the... stalker…" She whispered, still in disbelief as to how he managed that. "H- How did... How did you..." Oh God. Oh no.

The storm outside was so loud that screaming for help would just be in vain. It was so late no one would even be up...

"Baby, just like you said… I’m the stalker… I know everything about you…" His tone was sensual as he started kissing up the soft skin of her neck, moaning from how soft and delicate it felt. "Fuck! Your skin is even softer than i- it looks…" San felt himself twitch.

The girl was trembling as she slowly put it all together, staring at the ceiling as a feeling of despair and hopelessness filled her. "Y- You were p- pretending a- all this time! You're not the officer!" Adrenaline filled her as she kneed his cock, swiftly turning on her stomach and crawling off the bed before rushing out of the room. Nobody could hear the commotion. It was too loud outside.

"FUCK! YOU BITCH!" San yelled before laughing loudly. He loved this. Finally something enjoyable in his once lone and bland life. Holding his crotch, the male after her to catch the girl before she got away, catching her easily. "Where do you think you’re going?!" A smack landed on her face as punishment for what she did.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! Y- YOU CREEPY BASTARD!" Oh she would be getting a lot of beating for this! "H- HOW DARE YOU STALK ME A- AND THEN ENTER MY HOUSE! ILL R- REPORT YOU!" As she reached out to my table to hit him with something, her hand so conveniently ended up grabbing the razor and swung it back, going to hit him with it on the head.

San laughed tauntingly and caught her arm before she could hit him and shook his head, sighing. "Now now, isn’t this the razor you were holding when you played with that tiny little cunt of yours?" The shiny object dangled in his hand.

"P- PLEASE!" She remembered the text he'd sent her. "PLEASE! I- I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT DON'T DO THIS! PLEASE! I BEG YOU!" Y/n had no idea what to say.

"Aww sweetie…" His words were soft. Almost. "Keep your begs for the time when I'll be pounding that dirty little pussy of yours." San held her hands above her head. "You like to be owned, huh? You like to serve your Master and show everyone how much of an obedient little whore you are?"

Y/n was crying harder now, afraid because she didn't know what was going to happen. "N- No! Please no! It's not true! P- Please just let me go! I- I don't want to!" Oh but she had a being kidnapped and raped fantasy. She loved the thought of someone dangerous, like San, terrifying her and fucking her, making her into his cockwhore. And he knew it. She wanted it all. The girl loved the fear and force. But all of it actually happening was something she'd never thought of. "Please! Let me go!" How could it? A whole fantasy becoming true?

"Oh please, my little slut! Let’s not fool ourselves here. I know you love the thrill of this, I know you LOVE getting used like a worthless little toy and I will give you what you want. You can try to resist me all you want but you’ll never get away from me. You're mine. I'll always catch you. You're mine and belong with me." Her eyes were on the razor as she kept thinking about the text he'd sent.

Y/n tried to reach out of his iron strong hold and snatch the razor from him. "Nu-uh…" San sang out as he held the object above him. "What if I shaved your head while I’m destroying that slutty pussy, huh? Would you like that you little whore?"

"No! NO! NO PLEASE!" Oh… But she felt wetness trickling down her leg. Oh no.

"My my!" The man chuckled darkly. "What’s this?" He swiped a finger up her bare thigh. "God, you’re such a pathetic whore, trying to fool yourself by saying no but I know you’re enjoying this. How stupid and dumb. Stupid slut!" His free hand smacked her face before grabbing her hands again.

"N- No! No! Please stop! This i- isn't what it looks like!" Before she somehow broke free again, this time biting his hand before she managed to reach the door, trying to unlock it but her hands were sweaty and cold, fingers literally frozen as she struggled to open the locks, cursing when they kept slipping against the metal.

San pushed Y/n up against the door with the most force he could come up with and pounced himself on her, letting his hard cock feel up her ass. "Don’t fight it anymore." And with that, he pulled her pj shorts down and turned her around before spreading her legs and pushed her up against the door, unclothing his cock and aligning his tip against her vagina before forcefully thrusting into her without warning before moaning loudly, throwing his head back. "God! Such a tight little nasty cunt!" San moaned and kissed along her neck, feeling like he'd go crazy from how delicate and nice her skin tasted.

The girl moaned loudly in pain, a warm stream of blood trickling down the man's monster cock. "O- Oh my God!" A sick part of her wondered if he would also shave her head and face... "I- IT BURNS!" A scream tumbled out of her lips.

"Oh… You were a virgin? Such a nasty little thing. Everyone thinks you’re an innocent little girl but in reality, you’re just a needy little bitch! Needy for cock! All the time!" He picked her up and carried the girl back to her room while still keeping his cock in her before plugging the razor in. "Come here!"

Oh yes. Oh no! Oh… She was having a battle with herself. Did she want this or did she not want this?! "PLEASE... S- SIR..."  Please yes or please no...? She didn't even know what was happening anymore. This was fucking crazy. Her stalker who had done God knows what to the cop and had entered her house after watching her for who knew how long. The stalker that had a private photo of her and she didn't even know how many other materials. And now was on top of her like this...

"Please what, babydoll?" San pulled her in and kissed the soft trembling lips roughly, loving how good she tasted and felt.

Y/n cried against his lips, the man's huge cock still in her wet and tight walls. "I- I am scared! P- People will laugh!" Was that the only thing she cared about?

"So you want me to, but scared people will laugh?" San smirked while pushing his hips back and forth, moaning with each thrust. "Let them laugh, that will turn you on even more because you love getting humiliated. I know you too well, baby.”

Y/n had faced such rejection and hostility her whole life from different people she had trusted with her safety from time to time… this was driving her crazy. Her messy emotions got the best of her at the end of it. Her breaths were heavy. "Y- You're right... You know me so well..." She started speaking his language. "Y- You want me? O- Or you'll leave me too?" This was wrong; sick.

“No. I am staying by your side and you’re staying by me. I’ve wanted you for so long... you have no idea.” He groaned at how good she felt, biting back the whimpers threatening to fall out of his lips from the pleasure. “You have no idea just how many nights I have jerked off thinking it was your tiny little pussy, hugging my cock as you moaned and begged me for more, slut.”

The girl blushed, feeling like she was dreaming. This felt perfect… at least to her troubled mind. "You're crazy... You're scary... You made me piss myself out of pure…” She whispered slowly, a small smile making its way on her lips. “...P- Please own me... P- Please shave me... my head and face... make me look like a dumb slut... s- sir... Your dumb slut..." Her shaky hand turned the razor on for him, pussy suddenly clenching around him as she finally acknowledged the pleasure it was receiving, a soft moan escaping her.

“Mmm... that’s my good slut” San hummed and praised, taking the now on machine and placing it against her hairline before running it down the top of her head, both of them moaning, Y/n from the feeling and San from the sight of the sight of now small bristles between her locks as his hips pushed in and out even faster.

The man now shaved off another strip from the spot besides the previously shaved one, humming as he remembered something and took the machine to her eyebrows first and pressed it against the skin, feeling himself hit her g-spot as her eyes rolled to the top of her head, mouth falling open as the male erased the hair above her eyes.

"Yes, s- sir! Please make me your good slut! I- I love you! I'll never leave you! Please never leave me, Master!" She started crying out of joy, kissing his hands as her unstable emotions made her feel absolute joy. He had accepted her as she truly was. In her darkest form. “Please write funny things o- on my skinhead when you’re done. I am a dumb whore!” To her, there wasn’t a man more great than him.

“Fuck yes… That you are.” San grunted as he started to shear the rest of her long locks like one would to a sheep. “You are my dumb little slut who will do nothing but serve her Master from now on!” His free hand landed a smack on her head which was showing up more and more, nothing but thin stubble covering the skin.

"Yes I will, Master! Please! Please treat me like trash!" Y/n clenched around him, near to cumming. “Trash that was born to take your cock! You're so good to me! I wish you'd snuck in my house this morning and raped me right there! I wish you'd have shaved my head and forced me to go to college like that! It would have been a pleasure to be humiliated like that and by you!” She was literally crying out of pleasure

“Oh..” The man chuckled while panting. “I will force you to go like this baby, don’t worry.” He promised as he snapped his hips even faster, feeling himself getting close from the sight and all her filthy confessions. “And I will wake you up by fucking you every morning, making you a mess and sending you off to college like that.” It was done, the only hair on the girl’s head slight messy stubble that he’d remove with a hand razor later to reveal the skin underneath.

"Yes, please! Please always only force me and rape me! Please keep me bald! Keep me at your feet! Please feed me your piss and cum! I want to be your hand and footrest! I want to be an object for you to fuck! A bitch for you to breed! Your little animal! I JUST WANT TO BE YOURS! I WANT TO BE THE DIRT UNDER YOUR FEET!" She was sobbing as she started cumming hard, her tiny body spasming in pleasure while holding one of San's hands because it was her first time cumming from sex.

Y/n wrapped her arms around him from the intensity of it and kissed him while he played with her tits, pinching her nipples painfully as he kissed the girl back and let her ride out her high before pulling out. “On your knees!” San kept pumped himself until he came all over the girl’s pretty face and mouth. “That’s my good little cumdumpster.”

She smiled and started to kiss his cock and hands in respect, then his balls. Y/n really had truly submitted. "You're perfect, Master! Where have you been all my life?!" A pout made its way on her lips as she whined, hugging his leg and kissing it, not daring to go further up out of fear.

San was satisfied with her behavior. “I’m here now baby… And I am never leaving.” He kissed the younger one and slapped her ass lightly after helping her get up. “Lets get cleaned, doll.”

"Master, I wanna drink your piss." She shamelessly told him, not standing up, taking his cum off her face with her hand and greedily sucking at it. "A- And I wanna kiss your feet!" She was way too eager for this.

The man chuckled at her request. “You want to drink my piss? Then open up, my whore.” San held his cock over her mouth before putting pressure on his bladder, whimpering before the hot stream hit her lips.

Y/n was obediently on her knees drinking all of it after cringing at the taste a little, moaning happily. It was her first time drinking anyone's piss. She was in heaven. She finally had an owner! The girl made sure not one drop went to waste. "Thank you so much, Master! It is amazing!" The younger one stopped drinking and let his piss wet her face before starting to kiss his feet, fully in her subspace.

“You’re such an obedient little girl.” San praised, not being able to hold back the smile as he watched her, never having imagined her willingly being like this for him in such a short time period. But then again, he wasn’t surprised. “Good girl.” He cooed patting her head.

Y/n desperately kissed his hand and grabbed it, starting to cry. "M- Master... everyone leaves me... P- Please don't leave me... I- I'll die!" She almost promised him, nothing short of a maniac. Maybe she was even more twisted than San, in a way

“I’ll never leave you, you’re mine and everyone will know that.” Cupping her cheeks, he passionately kissed her, already making plans in his head about how he will modify all of her features as his perfect little pet.

The girl giggled, sucking at his lips greedily. "Master! Your piss was on my face!" She tried to get it off. "Give it back! Ish mine!" Huffing, she lapped at his piss like a needy little bitch.

San chuckled from her antics and swiped his fingers on the pretty face before holding them up against her lips. “Open up…” He let her suck on the piss covering his fingers. “Fuck... you’re so perfect for me.”

Holding his arm like a child, Y/n started sucking on his fingers greedily, smiling. "Thank you, Master!" Before she made his fingers hit the back of her throat, making herself gag and loving it all. "Mashter Mashter! Whatsh your name?" The girl questioned while deep throating his fingers.

“It’s San, baby.” The man replied with a smile, watching her choke on his fingers, her warm drool trickling down his long fingers.

"Shan! Ish sho pretty! I am Y/n!" Letting go of his hand, she hugged him which was returned with a chuckle.

“I know, babygirl.”

"M- Mashter... I- I dunno why b- but... I- I shaw a video too a- and I want you to s- shove my shaved hair u- up my assh and i- in my mouth... a- and take picturesh... Hehe I am sho naughty!" His eyebrows raised as she hid in his chest, a smirk forming on his lips.

San patted her messily shaved head. “Yes. You are, baby. You’re fucking naughty but okay. Daddy is here to help his little girl with all her little disgusting whore fantasies.”

"Y- You wanna?" Before she chirped again. "Mashter I want to be owned like an object a-nd like an animal! I wanna be like a p- piggy! A- And I want you to b- beat me and whip me e- everywhere a- and I wanna be bruished! A- And I want to be raped all the time!" She was too fucking sick and twisted but now that she wasn’t afraid of being judged, she was letting all that was locked deep down out.

“If that’s what you want, then I’ll treat you like one, baby.” San said before chuckling to himself, still in disbelief of just how fucked up she really was.

"A- And I want you to fuck my bummie and not let me cum for monthsh! I wanna be forshed to wear chashtity! I want you to make me cry and beg but you don't give in and only torture me more!" She told him. "Pleashe alwaysh shlap me and my head!"

“Fuck... you’re so naughty baby… I love it.” San almost moaned from the sight before getting a chunk of her shaved hair and shoved it in her mouth before getting his phone and taking pics of her all stuffed and messily bald like that.

The twisted girl smiled in the pictures and eagerly nodded, turning her fat ass in front of him now. "Please put hair in assh too!" She struggled to speak, smiling and posing for all of the pictures.

San actually wanted to take a video of him shoving hair up her ass and so that was what he simply did, laughing. “Look at this disgusting little dumb cock whore! So slutty and needy! Loving to be humiliated and looked like a dumb fucktoy by her owner!” He spat on her.

"Yesh I am! Yesh I am!" Y/n spoke with difficulty, showing her stuffed face and head too, arching her back, imagining herself a beauty goddess of her own kind. "My lobely mashter shaved me! And ish gonna treat me like hish trash and look! I habe hair up my assh! And in my fashe! I've got no eyebrowsh!"

“My good little slave… All mine… So submissive” San praised, kicking her ass in the camera and chuckling at her squeak, watching her clench the hair up when her pucker winked. “You’re really loving this, aren’t you?” Lifting her face, he spat on her forehead.

"I ammmm~" she whined, face red before starting to try to rub her cunt against the floor.

“Look at her trying to desperately rub her slutty cunts on the floor…” He filmed it all. Fuck. He loved seeing Y/n all dirty and submissive for him.

Drool was dripping down her chin and boobs. "Yesh Mashter! O- Onwy fow yoooouuu~" a needy whimper left her.

“Mmm... yes, only for me” San spoke and slapped her hard which the girl loved, getting even more wet and kissing his hands. "I- I... cum pleashe..." She whimpered again, loving the control she was in.

“No... get up.” San warned sternly. “You’re not allowed to cum, you’re never allowed to cum.”

"B- But... M- Mashter..." The girl pouted and whined, having forgotten that she was the one that told him that she wanted him to never let her cum and torture her like that.

“Are you talking back to your Master?” Raising an eyebrow, he gripped her chin before slapping her, making sure it was all being recorded so he could fuck her to it later.

Her pussy tingled. “N- No! No Mashtew owwiieee…” The hair in her ass and mouth tickled humiliatingly.

"That’s what I thought" San husked and threw the phone on the bed before pushing her on the carpet again. "Tell me when you’re close."

"M- Mashtewwww" Y/n started crying like a little baby, shaking and dropping the hair from her mouth because it was getting hard to breathe.

"Did I say you could drop the hair?!" The man growled darkly before pushing the hair back in. "Breathe through your nose, dumb slut!"

The girl let out a cry, trembling and sobbing as she nodded. He was rough. It was making her cry. But she also loved it and felt wet. "Yesh!" She loved being at Master's mercy.

"Good girl." He said pushing her down on the carpet more. "Rub yourself nice and hard slut." Y/n started rubbing herself as he ordered, feeling the carpet burn against her pussy but she couldn't help but love it, biting her bottom lip through her stuffed mouth. Oh… She loved it so much. The girl wanted it to bleed almost… Reaching out to hold his hand, the girl spoke. "You're sho perfect... I wish I'd m- met you when I wash l- little..."

"I wish that too baby, fuck... I’d fuck you every night while your parents were peacefully sleeping in the next room…"

"Y- You'd fuck me when I wash a little baby?" This was fucking revolting and twisted. They were both utterly sick. Y/n kept moaning loudly and getting wetter, rubbing harder and harder. "Y- Your fat cock i- in my toothlessh mouth... AHHH... I wouldn't need miwk... You'd have fed me your Mashtew milk fwom youw cock..."

"Fuck yes!" He growled as he felt himself getting hard. "Yes baby… I'd feed you my cum every day. You'd have grown up getting your nutrients from it, eh?"

"Daddy... Daddy... You'd be my Daddy? But inshtead of miwk you'd feed me youw cum evewyday? Ish the besht miwk!" She was very close and her eyes fluttered shut when he started playing with her tits and pinched her nipples before pulling at them. "Then I'd say I grew up drinking Mashtew's cock miwk! Hehehe!" The girl was too far gone.

"God, yes! You’re such a filthy and sick whore!" San knew she were close so he pulled her up. "No cumming!" It made the girl whine loudly and she fell on her face.

"Mashtewwwwww!" Before she curled in his feet, calming down a little when he didn't give in and ripped her pussy away from the carpet. "M- Mashtew... p- pleashe may I wemove haiw now...?" It was getting stuck to her mouth.

"Yes. You may, my little cum rag." The male wanted to use her mouth and feed her his cum so he allowed.

Y/n dropped it and quickly cleaned her tongue and inside of the cheeks with her tiny hands. "Bleg... hehe~" she curled in his waist, rubbing her tiny head against his chest.

"Good girl~" he patted her head before pushing her back in position. "Now use that mouth good baby…" San pushed his cock down her narrow throat, loving how tight and warm she was, making her gag from the rush of it in an instant.

The girl gagged but enjoyed it, loving it all. She quickly started sucking his cock, grazing her teeth against it and swirling her tongue. Y/n had watched all that porn for a reason. Kissing his balls, she sucked on them, whimpering from how his private hair tickled her nose.

"Fuck! look at you! Sucking on master’s cock like a starved bitch!" He slapped her again, feeling his shape against the skin of her cheeks. "You love it, don’t you?!"

"Yesh! Yesh! Yesh!" She hollowed her cheeks and bobbed her head up and down his shaft, sucking and whining as San rubbed the top of his foot against her pussy, smacking her bald head before pushing his cock all the way down her throat, tightly clasping the back of her head.

The man groaned loudly as he twitched in the soft walls of her throat, washing her throat with his hot semen before cleaning her up and finally shaving her head fully until there was nothing but glossy skin left before they went to bed.

"I have shchool tomorrow... Mashter do you go to shchool?" Y/n yawned as she snuggled into San's built chest, whimpering and smiling whenever the realisation of who he was hit her.

She loved being owned.

"No I don't. I will be right here when you come back, my pretty slut." San said while kissing her softly like he hadn't unleashed his sadistic likes on her.

"Why don't you go to school?" She suddenly pouted. "Then how will Mashter have a career?! You'll be poow! I dun wan poow Mashtew!" Y/n huffed brattily. She didn't really care about that, only wanting to see his response because she loved to piss off her top.

"You don’t really have a choice, sweetheart." The male gritted out. "You’re stuck with me forever. If I am living on the streets, you’re living with me."

She opened her mouth to brat but the bell rang. Rushing to the door, Y/n opened it to reveal a police officer. "Oh... hi..." The officer smiled a bit at her and asked the girl if she still needed an officer and why she had hung up when they called. "O- Oh no officer... I was just being paranoid... It wasn't anyone..." Y/n's cheeks blushed because she could see the officer was staring at her shiny bald head and eyebrows. Feeling herself getting wet as humiliation made her blush, Y/n found herself wondering what it'd feel like if he smacked her on her head. The girl's nipples got hard.

But oh... she couldn't cum!

"Okay then, be careful, Miss." He tipped her hat, nodding a little before walking off.

Y/n felt so wet. "Have a good night, officer!" A giggle left her as the man disappeared, starting to rub herself against the door up and down, running her hand against her head.

"Now, what was that?!" San deeply spoke, pushing the girl against the door, making her head hit against it embarrassingly. "Did you forget who alone can make you wet?!" The male yelled before slapping her. "You sick little exhibition loving whore! Not even you can do what you like to yourself! You're all mine! Only I can do whatever I please to your whore body!"

"Yes... You... You sir!" Y/n closed her eyes and held her hands above her head, lowering it for him to slap. "Please hit my head... Ugh... fuck me up... I want my head to be bruised... Ugh fuck! I am so wet... Please beat me!"

"What a disgusting little trash!" The man laughed, slapping her head this time. "You love people making fun of you, huh?"

"Yes I do! Yes I do!" She whined. "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make fun of me! Humiliate me! Hit me and bruise me! Make fun of me! Humiliate and degrade me! I want my whole college to laugh at me!" A loud cry left her.

"Let’s get you bruised up, then." San decided and started slapping the girl's tiny head and face until it was all red and sore. Y/n was crying by the time he was done, literally sobbing as she just fell on her knees and knocked out of exhaustion, her owner carrying her to the bed and then laying next to her knocked out form.

"Good night, my love." The male kissed her soft and red cheek before falling asleep too, holding her fragile body close to his, his slumber calm and satisfying today after so long.

.

Y/n stirred as she felt her pussy being invaded the next morning, making her stir as she felt lips upon her own and fingers pinching her nipples as her other boob was being groaped, her pussy expanding and sucking in a huge cock. San's huge cock. "M- Master~!" She whispered out when her eyes flew open and she was met with San's face. "W- What… s- so early?!"

"I promised you I'd wake you by fucking you every morning, didn't I, my slut?" He grinned and attacked her lips, eliciting an excited gigglish moan out of her as he started to fuck her fast and rough, pushing his balls in all the way.

“Y- Yes! Yes! F- Fuck!” Her eyes rolled to the back of her head from the realisation that he had been fucking her in her sleep before she woke up, feeling him twitch inside her. “M- Master! I- I… c- cum…” Y/n tried to speak, her back arching from the pleasure of him biting on her nipples before smacking her bald head softly.

“Little breeding whores don’t get to cum, baby. They just take cock and let Master use them like the cum rags that they are.” San’s cock slammed in and out of her pussy, his hand gripping her neck for support when she clenched around him. “Fuck! So tight!”

Tears welled up in her eyes as her face got red from how rough his thrusts were, how much her clit was burning for stimulation, how much her ovaries hurt to cum. “Look at this hairless little whore! Unable to even breathe without my permission let alone cum!” He spat in her mouth before turning her around and pushing up her ass, chuckling when she whined out.

“Sorry, slut. Little whores don’t get what they want around here and only please Master as they are supposed to.” Grabbing a sharpie, San started writing on her head whilst choking her with one hand, pounding her harder and harder up her ass. “Hurry up and please your Master well so we can go to an important place before you go to school.”

‘I am a bald little nasty slut. Please hit my head. I love it.’ Was written on the back of her head as the man laughed, deciding to not tell her what he’d done just yet, waiting for her to find out later when the people on campus would be warming that cueball up.

.

Y/n was whimpering as San waved at her and she shakily walked inside her college with a bald head, wearing nothing inside her skirt as she sneakily pushed the slipping ass plug back inside her cum filled ass. Lowering her bald head now that she was outside and people were staring at her new look, the girl gulped and felt herself squeezing her legs when some girl giggled at her.

Fuck… She couldn’t help but bite her lip, loving the humiliation as her cheeks felt hot.

Master had gotten her pussy, septum and nipples pierced before walking her to college. He was going to buy a special leash for that that was going to be passed through all her piercings to ensure she was in his control at all times.

Her train of thoughts was broken when a smack landed on her head by a guy passing by before he chuckled at her shocked expression. Before the girl could question him, she received a text by San. A picture message. Of what was written on the back of her head.

Widening her eyes, Y/n gasped and her hand automatically grazed against her head. No wonder the piercing lady had lightly smacked it before Master and she had laughed at the girl. “N- No… you didn’t…” She whispered in shock before one of her ‘friends’ smacked her head, making it jerk forwards.

“Cute look, Y/n.” Before she walked off to class, the people passing by gave her looks and talked about her.

Fuck… She squeezed her thighs in utter humiliation as the wind blew, making her desperately try to keep her skirt down as wetness trickled down her thigh. The girl wasn’t allowed to touch herself and not cumming was one of the rules now upon Master’s order and her foolish confession. She had a whole day to last before getting home and begging him to let her earn it.

Her ass stuffed, body owned, everyone silently chuckling at her humiliating look and getting smacks to the head like that wasn’t going to help.

“Oh, Master…” She whined to herself in despair. “What have you done?”

.

[sunlightandsuffering]

ANGST+

Here look y'all here's your subscription to unedited angsty garbage, DIVORCE ANON THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!!

It happens swiftly and before Mikasa even has time to really contemplate the decision. It hurts to much, the pain is too great, it all just needs to be over.

She’s done.

Fuck him and his dumb fucking secretary.

“Miki let me explain baby, I’m telling you it’s seriously not what you think.” “You’re cheating on me Eren and you’re saying exactly what I know every other unfaithful man does, excuses, excuses, denial, denial. It’s so obvious, you and your secretary, the late nights, the panties that weren’t mine.” Eren erupts, “It’s not true! And I already told you I have no fucking idea where those panties came from.”

She laughs sardonically, “Of course you don’t. Whatever, I can’t take any more of your lies, I’m done Eren, I’m fucking done. You’re nothing but a liar and a cheater, I’ll be gone by the end of the day.” “Mikasa please wait—” she slams the door in his face stomping out of their apartment and towards the underground parking lot where Porco is waiting to pick her up. Fuck Eren and his stupid fucking secretary, she’s done.

It’s only a year later when it’s too late for her to go back and she’s happily married to someone else does she realize how supremely she’s fucked up.

“Eren was really upset afterwards, but he’s okay now, I think. If anything, I was more upset about how we missed your surprise party, it sounded like it was going to be epic. He booked an entire hotel banquet hall, catering and everything,” Sasha looks forlornly at her muffin, “It was a really good restaurant he got to cater too, would have been delicious.” Mikasa stops eating for a moment, struggling to comprehend Sasha’s words as she finally lets her best friend tell her about the aftermath of their break up. She'd thought she was finally at a place where she could deal with whatever she told her. But as she considers what Sash has just said about her ex-boyfriend, Mikasa thinks maybe she's not so ready.

“What?” Sasha looks up from her muffin, “I was talking about the catering for the surprise party Eren was going to throw for your promotion. I was sure you must have known, he wasn’t very great at hiding it, hell he wasn’t great at hiding his cheating either if you figured it out,” Sasha scoffs.

“It really grinds my gears that his stupid little secretary was involved in that party at all now. They’re still friends you know? Once, I gave Eren a piece of my mind about it but he told me I didn’t know what I was talking about. They’re not still together, but they’re still friends, I’m just glad he never brings her around, I’d rip her to shreds.”

Suddenly, everything makes sense.

The lies, the secrets, the bashful expression, his horror at her calling him a cheater, how appalled he was by the very insinuation, how he begged her to let him explain. Blocked calls, deleted text messages, now she wishes she read them, wishes she paid attention because the ugly truth is coming out and she’s not sure she’s prepared to face what she’d done to the boy who used to love her.

She gulps, “Eren was throwing me a surprise party?” Sasha once again looks at her like she’s nuts, “Yeah it was for the week after you guys broke up, it was a real bummer it got cancelled but Eren had us all involved it was supposed to be really fancy.”

Her stomach turns as she thinks about all the little lies she’s sure Porco fed her. Eren always telling her he was sure he had a crush on her and Mikasa telling him they were just friends. How he managed to turn her against the only boy she’s ever truly loved so easily.

Like taking candy from a baby, the little digs, always asking about his whereabouts, making Mikasa question him.

The panties, fuck the panties. It all comes together little by little how the evidence stacked against Eren always came after Porco’s visit to their home, why she’d never actually caught Eren in the act, no matter how many times she’d tried to. How many surprise visits she’d thrown on him after Porco had first started planting the seeds of doubt, and how many times had Eren been completely innocent. How many times had Pieck, his always nice secretary told her to come by more often because Eren was unbearable without her.

Fuck.

This is the beginning of the end of Mikasa’s marriage and some part of her deep inside knows it, no matter how she struggles to salvage the pieces. But it’s almost worse to get divorced now. She torpedoed one of the most important relationships of her life on the advice of her current husband, if she divorces Porco now than it really will all be for nothing and that hurts even more.

[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

We Met Within This Screen (chapt. 2)

[Donnie x fem reader]

Sfw, part 1 here

Intellectually, Donnie was the best matchup for their leader as today was sparring day. He'd gone against his oldest brother many times, sometimes even coming out the victor himself, but today was just not his day.

He held his staff with that iron grip of his and waited for Leo to come at him. Donnie was more on the defensive than any of his brothers; he had to be. Out of all he was weakest physically but superior in calculations, but he was missing range in this matchup. Leo had a hard time disarming him as his katana could sometimes get lodged in the solid wood staff, giving Donnie leverage to perform the finisher in the short time it took him to dislodge his sword. He thought this time would be how that would happen.

"You're slow today, Donnie," Leo said as he lunged at his brother with a swing of his katana, forcing Donnie to step back. He was too focused on blocking Leo's rapid succession of attacks to respond.

Leo reeled back to swing his blade again but Donnie parried and struck his arm with his staff, shoving it aside. For a split second, Leo actually thought he was fixing to go down by this move if Donnie could hit him again quick enough. But his brother hesitated in thought, and without any reluctance himself, he used his other katana to put him in a compromising position. The match was over and Donnie was forced to stand down.

"Why did you hesitate?" Leo questioned him, lowering his blade. Raph watched from the sidelines with Mikey as they prepared to go up next. Since Leo was the winner, it was Raph's turn next to spar in his younger brother's place.

Donnie huffed and dropped his stance, putting his staff away. "It's just an off day," he replied. Splinter wasn't there to dictate today's training session and tournament, so Donnie was already on his way out to go to his lab by the time Raph stepped up to spar. But Leo sheathed his sword and put a hand on Donnie's shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.

"You've been pretty eager to run back to your lab lately," Leo said matter-of-factly. He was wondering what was going on, why Donnie seemed weirdly distant the last couple of weeks. He had gone through a very withdrawn phase in earlier times upon entering his teenage years, but now, he was legitimately making everyone guess. He didn't snap at his brothers, and he wasn't any more impatient than usual. But something was different. He'd been spending a lot more time holed up in his lab, which everyone began to notice. Leo wanted to know what was wrong.

Donnie shifted and shrugged, "Like I said, I've been busy with some projects. Also, it's not like I have much to do out here beside training and patrol."

Leo opened his mouth to speak, but Mikey jumped on between them. "You missed game night last week! You never miss it," he butted in. Both Donnie and Leo gave him a look as if to say really? and he added in, "Well, uh...not usually."

Gently moving Mikey aside, Leo wanted to continue, but he saw Donnie staring at him expecting a follow-up when he didn't really have one. Whatever this was, Leo knew that coming at Donnie with questions was not the way to go about it. So he stepped back and gave his brother some space.

"We all have off days," Leo said finally after an awkward moment of silence. "Just work on your speed, Don."

"Got it."

With that, Donnie turned to leave, and Raph entered the ring to go against Leo in the last match of the night.

Once Donnie was gone, Leo got ready to spar with Raph. As they got into position, he contemplated bringing this recent development up with the other two, but decided against it in the end. He didn't want to incriminate Donnie, especially with Raph's assertive approach to handling things. Donnie could be somewhat flighty at times when it came to resolving matters of emotion, at times a little too introspective, but Leo couldn't fault him—he had his own struggles with that very thing, too.

Done, finally, Donnie thought as he skirted into his lab and started up the game. He was late to the party quite literally; training lasted longer than he'd thought, and he was disappointed to see that his newest friend was online, but not responding to his invite. Did everyone get together and play without him? After a few minutes, he almost decided on giving up. The instance made him contemplate whether he even wanted to continue this. Perhaps he'd been too eager.

He sighed. And then the menu pinged, and he was there reading the message in an instant.

Hey, sorry I partied up without you, I just didn't know if you were gonna be on or not :/

Without even thinking, he licked his lips typed back, repeatedly deleting and retyping his message to make sure it was casual but not too casual, apologetic but not desperate—

It's okay, don't worry about it

Likewise sorry it took me so long to get here.

That would do. He'd be lying to say he wasn't feeling that flutter in his stomach; the excitement of something new got to him in a way that only a discovery in his research did, or how he felt when he mastered a new technique in his training.

Let's get started then :)

They started the game, and this time he kept the mic on, as she did. They talked back and forth as they fought creatures and enemies and looted things, eventually coming to learn that she herself was in New York City. He was surprised; suddenly, the world felt a lot smaller, and he couldn't concentrate on just playing after that. The time they spent became more of an opportunity to converse than to play a mundane game for hours on end.

At some point, she switched the topic to his whereabouts. Donnie's breath hitched.

"I'm...not anywhere near. So it doesn't really matter," he told her, cringing. If the guys found out—if Splinter found out—he would be in such trouble.

"Oh," she paused for a moment, trying to find something to say. "That's alright, I don't want you to feel like you have to tell me, you know?"

He'd muted his mic to release a deep breath. He got lost in thought thinking about how in that moment, he wanted to be human. If he weren't a giant mutant turtle, he could actually form a connection with someone. It was a very "Mikey" thing to think, he reckoned, but at times he wanted friends just like his brother did.

"Yeah, sorry, I just…"

"It's really no problem, dude."

He felt as though he could hear the smile in her voice. What did she look like, he wondered. He wanted to see her, but he couldn't ask for that when he could never do the same. If he could get her name, he'd be in the clear to do some preliminary lookups on this person, but so far, she'd been dodgy about sharing info about herself as well. He couldn't blame her. They were two strangers online, one with a huge secret and the other completely in the dark about who he truly was. For all she knew, he could have been a creep, looking to stalk her online and perhaps do even worse. The thought made him feel almost nauseous, how she could be considering that about him as a possibility as they spoke. But she seemed comfortable enough. Unlike him, who was still slightly skeptical of the entire thing, because after spending his whole life in practical isolation, he was at a loss as to what to say or do after a certain point. The conversation died off and both of them thought simultaneously about how weird the sudden silence between them felt.

She hummed, as if searching for something to bring up. When she spoke, he was taken aback—"Hey, I'm gonna be honest, I really like talking to you but this game is getting boring. Do you wanna chat somewhere else?"

"Uh…" he trailed off, mind shooting blanks. Oh, was it just a horrible idea. He couldn't keep the jig up forever; the truth was bound to get revealed somewhere down the line. He was fixing to reject the proposition, tell her that he didn't want to take it that far. She could be anyone. The likelihood of it being a clever ruse on account of the Foot Clan was slim, but the paranoia still worked ambiently in the background noise of his mind. But his other doubt stopped him—when would he ever have a chance at this again? He wanted to have the strength to say no and leave it at that. The loneliness that crept up on him from time to time had something else to say.

"Yeah," he answered after a terribly long pause of mumbling, fighting with himself all the way as she told him where to add her. He could have kicked himself had it not been for the fact that he knew how to encrypt data, and that as long as he didn't leak a word about his inner circle or life, it would be okay. It didn't feel okay, though.

"Nice! I'll text you, see you later, Bo. I had a lot of fun tonight," she chirped.

Before he could respond, she was gone from the party, and the mic went silent. It happened so fast. He was barely caught up with the fact that he was now receiving messages and prompts to talk, but he couldn't bring himself to answer right away. He had to refocus his logic; how could this be used by the enemy as a way to get to them? Could they have somehow anticipated he'd download this game and find this random on there? The more the thought about it, the more glaringly obvious it was that it was not the case. It was just too improbable.

"The probability of the Foot being able to simulate such a specific scenario in order to get intel on us is so slim, it is practically non-existent," he told himself as he finally pulled up the messages. He read through them. "Approximately a zero-point-zero-zero-zero..."

My name is (Y/N), by the way :)

Well, that was easier than expected. He figured that somehow, the name suited you—a fitting name for such a personality. But it also gave him a glimmer of hope. It made him want to ask why you appeared to trust him, as he could be anyone on the Earth over the screen, not his benevolent self. Which she had no way of proving, technically. But he soon came to realize the screen painted him in a whole new light that it casted on him. It hit then that he could be anyone. He didn't have to be himself; not necessarily. She'd never have to know, as he could wear a human mask and she'd be none the wiser. Problem was, the lying made him feel guilty, and slowly would develop to be the thorn in his side.

Donnie thoughtfully stared at the screen. Now that he was here, some of his anxiety began to fade. He found himself actually able to talk, someone to listen to his tangents and even build upon them. They spent hours texting back and forth about anything and everything until it was almost time for him to put the phone down to leave for patrol. He felt giddy, like a kid, all over again.

________________________________________

Had you ever been able to talk to someone this easily?

You asked yourself that question as you exchanged with the faceless and nameless stranger over your screen, chatting from afternoon to night. Time flew by in an instant, with him, and you loved every minute. He was someone intellectual, but funny and so easy to talk to that it was as though the conversation carried itself. After some time he came out about his age after you revealed yours. Oftentimes, he'd just present to you a random question when the subject tapered off and run with it, like now:

What do you think of reptiles?

Puzzled, you took a second to reply. Odd question.

Why do you ask? Do you have one?

I was just curious

What do you think of them?

The chat indicator flip-flopped between "typing" and "idle" a few times before a message finally popped up, and you smiled. You'd learned over this short time that he was a dork in a cute way.

Well...I think they're pretty cool.

They've got natural armor and you would be surprised to know just how fast a turtle can be

You laughed a little to yourself. It was such a random thing to bring up, yet you were endeared. Deciding you'd go along with it, you asked him what else he knew about turtles.

Well...

__________________________________________________

Donnie was wondering what he was talking about just as much as she probably was. Stupid, he thought, facepalming. His first time really speaking with a human as an equal and he starts talking about turtles. Of course he knew a lot about them, he was one himself—but for some reason he found himself wanting to dispel myths and misunderstandings about turtles as if they reflected on him, when as far as she knew, he was just a human guy like herself.

He groaned lightly and typed, thinking up a fact that wasn't too conspicuous.

Red eared sliders are semi-aquatic.

As he typed the next part, he caught himself writing "we" instead of "they", to his dismay. He quickly fixed the error and continued, feeling weirdly exposed as it was almost as though in sharing this information, he was putting himself under a microscope for her to inspect.

They can hold their breath for up to thirty minutes, usually

Holding his breath was something he'd tested numerous times before. He and his brothers had actually made a game out of it on a few occasions, with Leo leading at thirty-three minutes, Donnie in second at thirty-one. Raph broke at twenty-nine minutes and Mikey followed behind in last at just twenty-seven. The ability could be trained, nonetheless.

That's interesting, I wonder what it's like to be able to go underwater so long?

It's kind of cool, you should try sometime

For THIRTY MINUTES?

Shit. He promptly replied:

No—not like I can hold my breath that long, I just mean you should try to see sometime I guess

I tested it just for the fun of it.

Looking up how long humans could hold their breath on average (between thirty seconds and two minutes), he bumped the number up a little bit and added:

Personally, I'm at two minutes and forty-five seconds

He was embarrassed, partially covering his face as he waited for a response. Such a foolish slip-up; he couldn't afford to say anything cryptic. But he still was fairly sure that he had recovered that alright. He couldn't help but think about how awkward or weird he seemed to her. Who talked about this?

I don't think I could hold my breath for more than a minute, kudos to you haha

Anyway, sorry to switch gears all of a sudden but if you don't mind me asking, what's up with your family? You have any siblings?

He told her no. He would not bring his brothers into this, lest it be the slim chance of a ploy, after all. He said his family situation was unconventional and left it at that.

With that, he said to her goodnight and put his phone away, getting up to go get geared for patrol. It was only then he noticed the figure leaning against the doorway.

Chapter 3

[sweetestlamb]

You Can’t Just Leave Me

Summary: The Han family is a force to be reckoned with. 

Author’s Note: Writing this chapter made me smile, I hope reading it as the same affect on you all. Thank you to everyone who supports this story and leaves comments (or my silent readers). I appreciate you all and I am so thankful that you like this brainchild, I’ve just been winging it- never expecting to be on chapter 7 on something I initially planned on being a one shot. You all made it come this far, enjoy chapter 7!! Beautiful header by @ewolfwitchwisegirl text message created by Junjin fairy @prodmina

The apartment is eerily quiet following Su-ah's departure, he hadn't intentionally tried to eavesdrop but it was hard not to overhear their sniffles through the door. Then hours later the usually bubbly girl had exited the room with red rimmed eyes, he'd never seen her cry before in his many years of knowing her. He was awkward in the face of it, not used to comforting anyone besides Ju-Kyeong. 

Their conversation was clipped and it was clear that Sujin hadn't opened up about what happened. The Su-ah he knew would be making plans to sabotage her father, if she knew the full story.  She'd left with the final words, "Take care of her." He nodded without hesitation that was his intentions, he just needed to get her onboard with his plan to do that.

Taking a deep soothing breath he walks over to knock on the door.

"Sujin-ah, can we talk?" He asks, pressing his head against the door. Ready to plead if need be, she hadn't been answering him since being here. He never saw her come outside, but the food he brought would just disappear hours after he placed it. He waits patiently before reaching out his knuckles to knock again, but when the door suddenly opens he takes a quick step back surprised to see Sujin's face. It's clear she's been crying. He looks away, it's a bit unsettling to see her like this. Too raw.

"Let's talk in the living room." He suggests quietly, stepping back and walking towards the couch. Nerves easing minutely as he hears her soft footsteps behind him. He slides into one corner of the couch and watches as she sits on the opposite end. An awkward silence bellows around them as he stares at his hands and she stares at the ceiling. They have both never been the most talkative on a good day, but now it’s painful. 

He clears his throat stilling when he feels her eyes on him, waiting. He had this speech planned in his head for days but now that the moment is actually here, he's terrified. Too nervous to say the words he wants to, does he even have the right to apologize to her now? Does she even want his late apology or will she brush him off? He wouldn't blame her one bit, it had taken him too long and he still hasn't even forgiven himself, how could he expect her to forgive him? 

"Thank you."

He almost misses the quiet utterance because he's so lost in his own self deprecation. They are staring at each other now eyes locked, his own wide in bewilderment.

"What?" He responds caught off guard, he didn't expect Sujin to speak at all-much less for those to be her first words.

"You heard me. Thank you for letting me stay here and for not pressuring me to talk about it."  Sujin awkwardly squirms in her seat, glancing away from him before darting back and she gives him the courage to finally saw what he wanted- no needed to.

"I'm sorry." It's his turn to watch the shock form on her face but he presses on before she can question him. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, I knew what was happening but I didn't know how to help. I understand now that just being there would have been enough, you just needed a friend. I'm sorry I wasn't one."

A slight weight lifts off his shoulder and his heart, he's not free but he's one step closer. One step at a time.

"You didn't do anything wrong. We were just kids, what could you have done? It's okay, I never expected you to save me. How could you when you were dealing with your own pain?"

She's giving him an out, and logically she's right the pain of losing his mother crippled him for years. It was still weighing heavy on him to this day but he doesn't want an out, he wants to be accountable. He would rather her rage than her understanding.

"I know you didn't need a savior, but you needed a friend. Am I wrong? Were you okay dealing with everything on your own?" It's a low blow he's aware and the way her eyes narrow further confirm that his question isn't appreciated.

"Am I wrong?" He repeats and watches as the ice around her eyes melt away glacially, too many emotions flashing in her dark orbs- anger, sadness, disappointment, broken acceptance each emotion cutting at his heart.

Leaning forward he grabs at the folder on the table, he's already come this far might as well go all the way now.

"Here." He hands it to her, she raises an eyebrow taking the thick object. "Open it," he nods at the folder watching quietly as she breaks the seal and pulls out the documents, eyes scanning the papers before realization settles.

"Emancipation?" She whispers, now staring at him unblinking he can feel the heft of her undivided attention.

"Yes, we've been doing research and I think the best bet is for you to get emancipated." He winces at himself as she glares at the use of "we", he should have left that out with how distant they've been; she didn't even know that Seojun was the one providing the meals she seemed to love. She might stop eating them if she knew, she was so stubborn sometimes. 

She leaf's through the pages, carefully looking over the document and he sits silently awaiting her reaction.

"He would never allow this. You know that." It's said with certainty as if she's accepted her fate long ago, probably thought of this very option herself and then talked herself out of it.

"I'm going to ask her father to help, he's been supporting your father all these years. If he knew the truth..." He trails off letting her finish the rest and she barks out a humorless laugh, it sounds more like a sob.

"You want to tell your father? They have known each other for years, why would he believe me?"

"He's my dad. He'll believe me. We have to at least try." He pleads now desperate for her agreement. It wasn’t the right thing to say, he knows that instantly. 

Instantly she stands up, slamming the documents on the table the ice restoring around her eyes. "I was fine all those years you were wrong.  I'm not doing this, I don't need your dad's help." She spits the word "dad" like it's poison on her tongue, storming off to the room and slamming the door shut.

He sighs, defeated leaning back onto the couch. He sends a text to his father and Seojun. He failed. 

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Guilt eats at her following her outburst, she wasn't mad at Suho despite her harsh words. She can blame her anger on many things but she's self-aware enough to know that it's a defense mechanism; she was jealous. It was ugly and grotesque, but she cannot stop the way her blood boils when she sees others with parents that care. 

He's my father, he'll believe me.

That would never be her reality, Suho and his father had been able to reconcile and restart their broken relationship. That would never be her truth, her relationship with her father would never resemble something healthy and despite her efforts to repress her true feelings, it hurts. The little girl who desperately wanted to make her dad happy and proud still hadn't died.

She feels stupid, the biggest fool on the planet. How can she still be looking for love from someone who has never shown her anything but hatred? She’s the one with a problem here, she knows that. 

She shouldn't have lashed out especially after his apology, that must have taken true guts and she had thrown it all back in his face. She tries to make amends but every time they cross paths she freezes up and escapes to her borrowed room instead. It continues on for days with him still bringing food to her door and the combination of their kindness is too much for her. She doesn’t deserve it from either of them. 

Tugging on her jacket she leaves the apartment hastily with only a small note on her door. She needs some space to think without feeling suffocated.

Gone for a walk.

It's just her luck that it's raining outside, only a drizzle but it coats the world in a thick fog and it's hard to see. The biggest benefit is that nobody can see her, she just needs time alone to think. 

The idea of emancipation wasn't new to her, she had considered this option before but in the end she discarded it. Her father wasn't someone she would simply leave, he would drag her back kicking and screaming. He had instilled long ago that she was his, it was pointless to have dreams or aspirations, she just needed to follow his orders. That was her purpose. Being an obedient dog. 

Suho's plan also called for revealing her pitiful life, what if she went through this ordeal only to lose and not be given emancipation in the end? No. She couldn't make herself that vulnerable at least now she had her dignity, only two people knew about her secret. It might not be much to others, but her dignity was everything to her; it was all she had left.

Sighing loudly at the skies she mentally curses the weather, maybe it's poetic but all of her worst times have been bookmarked by the rain. It must be a metaphor for her life, damp and cold with no warmth in sight.

Stopping to sit on a bench she stares up at the gray skies before closing her eyes, accepting her fate. "Fine, rain on me. I probably deserve this." Cool raindrops roll down her cheeks imitating tears and she can feel the moisture seeping into her clothes and siphoning her heat.

"Unnie?" She jumps at the voice, sounding too close and she shifts away when she opens her eyes and is greeted by the large bespectacled eyes of Gowoon. The younger girl smiles sweetly, covering her with a pale blue umbrella with ice cream cones decorating it. It’s too innocent and too young the antithesis of everything in her life. 

"Unnie! What are you doing in the rain? You're getting wet!" Gowoon grabs her arm tugging her to her feet using her umbrella to shelter them both. She's shocked when she doesn't bristle at the unexpected and too familiar manhandling. She almost rolls her eyes, what was it with the Han family and finding her during rainstorms? 

"Come on, my house isn't far. I'll make you some soup so you don't catch a cold." The other girl doesn't wait for her reply before she starts pulling her down the sidewalk. She sputters but feels her feet following obediently.

"Oppa is working late, so he won't be there to bother us."

Her heart defiantly jumps at the mention of him, she hasn't seen him in a week. She has dozens of unsent messages to him, cowardice has rendered her fingers useless though. 

"That's good." She lies, "So it'll just be us two?" She's not quite ready to meet any other members of the Han family.

The other girl nods absently, easily easing them into a riveting conversation about a boy at school who won't leave her alone. She offers to beat him up if he keeps on bothering her to which Gowoon laughs gleefully before squealing, "You sound just like Seojun oppa!" She glares at the comparison watching entranced at the young girl's uncontrollable giggles. When was the last time she'd laughed so freely? She had no recollection.

Gowoon wasn't lying and within minutes she's staring at the apartment she's only seen once before. That feels like a lifetime ago.

She immediately regrets her inability to say no to persuasive girl later when they are greeted at the door.

"Gowoon, sweetie is that you?" A maternal voice calls out and she instantly recognizes it, stiffening in the doorway. Stepping back she starts thinking of excuses, but her tongue is too heavy in her mouth and she's too slow as the woman comes around the corner halting her escape. 

She blinks unhurried as the older woman gapes at her clearly not expecting to see anyone besides her daughter.

Gowoon breaks the silence, her voice nonchalant, "Hi mom! This is my unnie Sujin, she's the one who saved me the other day! Is it okay that I brought her here for dinner, I found her in the rain!" Gowoon makes it sound like she picked up a stray puppy outside, but she knows the other girl means no harm. 

Her skin prickles at the question, anxiety filling her stomach without her permission. She's waiting for rejection. For Gowoon’s mother to say that it is not okay and she would rather eat with her daughter without a stranger intruding. 

"Of course! I didn't realize it was the same Sujin." Gowoon looks confused by her mother's statement and she feels embarrassment swarming in her belly. Oh no. She has to stop her before she reveals too much, Gowoon knows nothing and she wants to keep it that way. 

"I didn't realize you knew Sujin too, isn't this Seojun's cru.."

"Classmate!" She suddenly interjects staring at the woman with pleading eyes, she's not ready for Gowoon to know about her brothers “feelings”. She's trying her best to forgot them too.

They both stare at her and she squirms under the scrutiny, before the older woman puts her out of her misery. "Yes, Seojun mentioned her before I didn't realize she was the same person that helped you. Thank you." She freezes as the woman embraces her hand, smiling at her warmly as she thanks her. She can only stare in response, nodding dumbly.

"Come on unnie! I'll get you some warm clothes, you'll catch a cold if you keep wearing those."

She lets herself be tugged into the younger girl’s room. Just like Gowoon the room is bright and vivacious, wall covered in posters and books littering her table. It looks completely normal and it makes her ache, her own room was militarily decorated with nothing out of place and no evidence of her personality. Since she was young her father would inspect it and punish her if anything was untoward. She had stopped trying to make the room look lived in after seeing poster after poster thrown down. 

"Here unnie. You can borrow this." Her eyes bulge at a familiar blue shirt with a puppy on the front. "I know it's so embarrassing but oppa got it for me, it's really warm though." In the end he'd gotten her to wear the ridiculous shirt, she reluctantly goes off to change into the top and leggings. They are the same baby blue hue, making the outfit look like a set. She's thankful the boy isn't here to see her.

"Well don't you look adorable?" Seojun's mom coos at her when she finally comes out of the bathroom, she desperately wants to disappear. The woman must notice her ruby cheeks because she turns with a smile calling out to her daughter, "Gowoon! Come help with dinner!"

Now changed too, into cactus pajamas the younger girl bounds out grabbing an apron and tying it behind her back.

"What are are we making?" She curiously peeks over her mom's shoulder. The air between the mother and daughter is comfortable, the two leaning into each other naturally as they discuss what to make for dinner. She observes with a heavy heart as Gowoon easily puts her head on her mom's shoulder and the woman strokes her cheek lovingly. Something inside her throbs in response.

"Do you want to help?"

Shaking her head to clear the longing she looks at their mom, who's looking back at her with soft eyes already holding out another apron.

She can't control herself her yearning is too large, she stands without hesitation walking to the woman, sucking in a breath when the apron is placed over her shoulders and then tightened snuggly.

"We're making wonton soup. Have you ever made dumplings before sweetie?"

She looks at Gowoon waiting for her reply but then realizes that both pair of eyes are on her and oh, she's talking to her. She called her sweetie. Swallowing thickly she shakes her head before replying, "No. I've never made them before." She waits to be berated or at least chastised for her lack of culinary skills, her father always said a woman's place was in the kitchen.

Nothing happens. The woman hums before smiling again, she's always smiling it's so pretty. She wishes she had the courage to say the words aloud. She doesn't.

"You can help Gowoon chop the vegetables for the filling. Then we can mix it with the ground pork and I'll show you how to make the dumplings." If the woman is disappointed at all at having to teach her she's doing an incredible job of concealing her frustrations.

She accepts the knife when Gowoon hands it to her, both of them working on a wooden cutting board. They've gotten into somewhat of a rhythm slicing the chives and carrots finely for the filling. She'd never chopped vegetables before but their mom had casually stood behind her shocking her so much she almost dropped the knife, but the older woman had easily caught the utensil before holding her hand and manually showing her how to tuck her fingers and mince the vegetables. She froze before imitating the woman, she was good at replicating acts.

"That looks great sweetie! You're a fast learner!" The woman praised her turning back to the broth and adding more seasoning liberally. She preened under the attention smiling shyly before Gowoon shouted out loudly, "What about me mom? How do mine look?" They both looked at the younger girl's unevenly chopped chives and carrots, next to Sujin's perfectly identical veggies all in an even row. The difference between the two is stark. 

"They look fine dear, they'll be hidden in the dumplings anyway." Her mother tries to soothe her ego, patting her shoulder before turning back to her soup dismissively and a burst of laughter explodes from her chest at the offended look on Gowoon's face, her cheeks are red and her mouth is turned down in an exaggerated frown. The younger girl looks positively livid that her mother is not similarly singing her praises and she starts to defiantly chop more vegetables, only to have them come out even worst; even more lopsided and haggard. 

She tries to tamper her laugh but when the younger girl starts whining, crying about how her veggies were “cousins not siblings” she loses it, clutching at the counter for balance. She feels the air bursting from her lungs as she clutches at her stomach, laughing harder when Gowoon glares at her pout on her lips. The older woman joins her rubbing her daughter's back as she cries about her dignity, and then Gowoon looks at them both laughing at her and a smile spreads on her face and soon they are all laughing in the kitchen, soup bubbling beside them as a delicious aroma permeates the room.

None of them hear the front door opening or a deep voice announcing its arrival.

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He's cold, tired and wet. Once again missing the forecast for rain, he really needed to start carrying an umbrella around all the time. What was up with the weather lately anyway? Why was it raining all the damn time?  He absently thinks of a certain someone and hopes she's somewhere warm out of the rain. They always seemed to meet when the sky was pouring and raging. 

It was hard not contacting her but he wanted to listen to her requests and respect her wishes no matter how hard it was for him, it was also getting pathetic being the only one fighting for this. She hadn't outright rejected him after his confession but her silence was an answer in itself and he wanted to respect that. He wasn't too manly to admit that he was hurt, and he was reeling from being pushed away so many times already.

So he followed his mother's advice, he'd given her something that he knew she needed and expected nothing in return.

All week he'd been waking up early to cook for the girl, reading recipes off his phone  fluffy cat headband on his head keeping his fringe out of his eyes. The easier recipes like soup and grilled meats had been simple enough to accomplish but when he ventured into more complicated bento boxes that's when frustrations had arose. They looked so easy but they were tedious and he wasn’t the most patient or detail oriented person. 

He struggled to recreate the detailed meals and almost gave up,  throwing his phone across the room.

That's how his mother had found him, fuming and tugging his hair on the kitchen table. Seconds away from bashing his head into the surface and screaming at the ceiling. 

"What are you doing up so early?" He jumped at her voice, looking around at the mess he'd made in the kitchen with wide guilty eyes.

"I-I can explain." He stuttered out but couldn't come up with a feasible answer once she looked at him expectantly, arms folded. The patented mom stare. 

She had calmly walked across the room picking up his discarded phone, peering at the screen before looking back at him.

"Is this for your friend?" She shook the phone at him knowingly and he pressed his lips tight together, nodding mutely while looking away.

"Okay let's see what you have so far." His mom walked over and assessed what he had already made, nodding with a proud smile. "You did good so far, let me show you how to make a hotdog into an octopus. I did this for you all the time when you were a kid."

He was grateful when she didn't ask him any questions and it became their morning ritual, until he no longer needed guidance and he was able to make the boxes on his own. The satisfaction he felt when Suho would return the containers, clean as a whistle not even a grain of rice remaining was incomparable. It wasn't much but at least she was eating, that was all he needed even if she didn't want to see him or know that he was the one making her meals.

He sighs at himself, he told himself not to think about her but that was proving easier said than done.

Shaking himself at the front door like a wet dog, he tugs his keys from the back pocket of his jeans slotting it on the doorknob and turning.

"I'm home!" He calls out instinctively announcing his arrival as he toes off his drenched boots, but then his eyebrow lifts as he hears peals of laughter coming from the kitchen. He chuckles without knowing the joke, instantly rejuvenated by his family's abundant joy. Slipping on his slippers after hesitating a second because he doesn't recognize the shoe at the front door. When did Gowoon get those and how the hell was his little sister affording Chanel sneakers?

Those thoughts are swarming in his mind when he stomps to the kitchen, all the air sucked from his lungs when he sees an unbelievable vision. His mother and sister are grasping at each other, lost in laughter completely unaware of his presence but the image that most shocks him is Sujin, holding her stomach as she spots something on the counter that sets her off into another bout of boisterous laughter.

He can't help it he starts to categorize her every move, the way her eyes are crinkled and a stray tear is leaking out the corner, the way her nose is scrunched up like a rabbit and the way her mouth is stretched wide, visible even behind the futile shield of her hand. All of his thoughts from earlier regarding not needing to see her dissipate, he wants to tattoo this image in his mind.

"Oh! You're here!" His mother suddenly turns to face him and that causes Sujin to freeze laughter fading off with a whine, regarding him with huge bright eyes. It's almost too much once he notices what she's wearing, he wasn't prepared to see her like this in his house. It's overwhelming in the best way.

"I'm home. I'll go change and come help." Both his mother and Gowoon nod easily no longer paying him any mind but he can feel eyes on him as he runs away, trying to regain his composure and his breath. He purposely avoids Sujin's eyes not ready to see if the walls are back up at his arrival.

When he comes back out the table is already set and they've all taken a seat, the only available chair is between his mom and Sujin, so he takes a calming breath before walking over with fake confidence. He’s used to faking it until he makes it. That could be the name of his biography. 

He answers his family's questions about work and school blowing on the soup before taking a bite of the slightly lopsided dumpling. What it's lacking in appearance it more than makes up for in flavor, he groans at the delicious flavor that dances on his taste buds looking up excitedly at his mom.

"These dumplings are delicious! Thank you for the meal!" He praises his mom, happily chewing at the soft delicacy in his mouth.

"Thank you Junnie, but I didn't make the dumplings. They worked on the filling together but Sujin-ah seasoned and filled the dumplings while I made the broth and your sister helped with the side dishes." His mother smiles proudly over at the two girls, Gowoon beaming with pride but Sujin, almost disappears into her soup her head so close to the steaming hot bowl.

They haven’t said anything to each other and he's nervous to be the one to break this stalemate but he also really wants to talk to her, has wanted to since he stepped through the door and saw her smiling face. Has wanted to since that night he stormed out and didn't look back. So finally he does, gathering all his bravery to finally look over at her.

"The dumplings are great." And when she doesn't look up or seemingly react at all, he tells himself he's fine and he expected that. She wasn't ready to talk to him yet, it was his own fault for hoping when she'd explicitly told him to stop doing that.

So he goes back to eating, more lethargic than before eyes locked on nothing but his food and his spoon. It was embarrassing. He knows his cheeks are pink and he hates it.

"Thank you. I just followed your mom's directions. It was nothing."

He pauses, peeking up at her and almost choking when she shoots him a small smile before filling her bowl with more rice.

His heart thumps in his chest. Fuck.

He doesn't hear anything else the rest of the meal, too lost in his thoughts and it's only familiarity that has him standing up when everyone is finished, collecting the plates and bringing them to the sink.

"It's almost time for Sunbae, don’t wear those high heels!!" Gowoon shouts, he cringes at the name of the new drama they've been obsessively watching, he'd only tuned in one time before flabbergasted by the exorbitant amount of times the female protagonist had fallen into the arms of various men but especially the male lead. She fell off a balcony into his arms that time, with neither of them needing to be admitted to the hospital somehow. His mother and Gowoon had both hushed him when he'd voiced that particular opinion and he had happily banished himself to his room.

"Oh no, I'm going to miss it because I'm washing the dishes." He replies deadpan as his sister rolls her eyes dramatically at him, "Whatever it's your loss. Let's go I want to see if she's going to choose the sweet bad boy or the cold cute guy!"

He scoffs at the cliché characterizations scrubbing harder at the plate.

"Come on unnie!" Sujin gasps as she's tugged to the living room too, glancing over he sees his little sister place her in the middle of the couch sandwiched between her and his mother. Sujin looks overwhelmed as Gowoon animatedly tries to catch her up on the series. He shakes his head, maybe the show wasn't that bad. He could watch a few minutes with them.

He strolls casually to the living room, easing onto the ground beside his mother's legs after all the dishes are clean and drying.

"What are you doing here? I thought you despised this "cringey" show?" He leans his head back, sighing when his mother eases her fingers into his hair scratching at his scalp and he sighs content in her lap.

"I do. But it's too early to sleep so I have no choice but to watch this crap."

"Mom! He said crap!"

"Watch your language."

His mother scolds him immediately and Gowoon sticks out her tongue at him vindicated because he got in trouble and immaturely he does it back, tugging off her sock much to her chagrin, dodging her when she tries to kick him.

Sujin looks back and forth between them both before discretely looking at their mother, she seems shocked when all the woman does is chuckle and say, "Children please. Do I need to remind you that we have a guest?" He looks away bashfully not wanting to look childish in front of Sujin, he hadn't thought about that. That makes them settle down and he finally looks at the TV, groaning loudly when low and behold the heroine is falling again, tripping over a candy wrapper on the ground.

"She falls a lot. She should probably wear protective gear." Sujin says breaking their new silence and he chuckles at her observation, happy that someone agrees with him, excitedly he turns to her "Right! Last time she fell off a balcony!" He shouts in disbelief and suddenly they're all arguing about the feasibility of someone surviving that. His mother shaking her head fondly at them, choosing to say out of it which makes Gowoon pout because she's outnumbered.

"Okay who would you choose Unnie, the tsundere type or the bad boy with a heart of gold?" Suddenly he's very invested in her answer, he tries not to react staring at the ceiling and breathing evenly but inside his heart is thundering ready to pound out of his chest.

A few seconds drag on and he wonders if she's not going to answer, he doesn't even know why he cares so much but curiously is gripping at him. He knows that this doesn't mean anything necessarily and he's not getting his hopes up but--

"The sweet guy. He just looks like a bad boy but he's sweet to her, he never says anything mean to her. That would be nice." She answers, trailing off at the end and he hears Gowoon instantly disagreeing saying the other guy is way better, but he can barely hear his sister over the thumping of his heart in his ears, he can't help the wide smile that spreads on his face. 

He turns to hide it in his mom's lap.

It doesn't leave his face the rest of the night.

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It's getting late, she knows that it's time for her to take her leave she's been imposing on them for too long but....she doesn't want to. She doesn't want to leave, they are so warm. She's never seen a family like this outside of television shows, how was it possible that this was their real life? How could they have a mother who was that loving? Everything they did was greeted with fond exasperation, where was the reprimanding or cold backhanded words that cut like a knife?

She'd even treated her kindly, calling her sweetie more than she said her name. And she got used to it similar to how she'd gotten used to Seojun calling her princess, she knew she should fight it but she didn't want to. She was ashamed to say she liked it. 

She tries to soak it up for as long as she can before she says reluctantly, "I should probably go. it's getting late." Then she watches in a daze as the woman races off before returning with containers stacked and tied in a bag.

Before she can argue or refuse their mom is already shaking her head, "You made this so it's only right that you take it home. I won't take no for an answer." At this point that should have been the Han family motto she thinks fondly. But she accepts the food, bowing in gratitude at the simple act of kindness.

"Unnie, can I have your number? I just realized I don't have it and we're so close!" Gowoon thrusts her phone out with two hands, giving her the biggest puppy eyes she's ever seen. Without a word she accepts the phone, punching in her number before handing it back. She hadn’t realized the girl considered them close, but she finds that she doesn’t mind it at all. 

"Thank you! I'll text you so you can have my number too." The younger girl dances in celebration before grabbing her in a hug, she awkwardly pats her on the back once before she's finally set free. They're all so naturally affectionate and she's not the least bit accustomed to it, used to harsh words and slaps instead of praises and hugs.

"Get home safely sweetie. Junnie! Where did you go? Come walk her home!" She rushes to say it's okay she doesn't need an escort home, she's fine walking by herself it truly wasn't that far it turned out. But Seojun comes out of his room, changed again with a coat on and a beanie. Walking over to them he thrusts a sweater at her, when she looks blankly he replies sounding defensive, "It's probably colder now. Put this on too." He pushes it at her again firmer and she grabs it, gasping when their fingers brush.

It's a thick dark green sweater with fleece lining the interior and it smells just like his earthy cologne, she wants to give it back. Instead she puts it on over her borrowed long sleeve shirt from Suho and feels like a child playing dress up when it reaches the bottom of her knees. She knows what he's thinking when he smirks at her, she wasn't short he was just a damn giant.

She takes off the slippers and slides back into her sneakers, thankful that they're dry now. She's distracted by Seojun's heat, he's so close to her putting on his own boots. So much so she nearly misses what his mother says, "Get home safely. Please come again soon, I need more maturity in this house." Seojun and Gowoon both shout affronted but all she can see is the genuine smile on her face, she finds herself nodding throat too thick for words. When she's pulled into another hug, this time she has to blink away tears arms still by her side. She’s vibrating from keeping her emotions contained. 

They are walking side by side, the sounds of the city filling the silence that would be present. Every once in a while their arms brush but he moves away after the third time and she feels cold, more so than when the wind blows.

They're getting closer to Suho's apartment and she's wrecking her brain to find something to say to him, knowing that the ball is in her court; it always has been. She's just terrified to swing her racket. What if she misses? Or trips and embarrasses herself? It was usually better to just do nothing then you wouldn't be disappointed.

With each step she loses more courage until they are standing in front of the building and she still hasn't said anything.

Coward.

They stand awkwardly looking at the building pointedly avoiding each other and she finally speaks, "Oh your sweater! Here you go." She says stupidly, not at all what she wanted to say but she starts to pull the sweater off to commit to her exclamation. However he steps back shaking his head at her.

"It's cold. Just wear it upstairs. I'll get it later from Suho, you won't have to see me again. Go up." He sounds deflated, nothing like the animated jokester she'd seen just minutes at his apartment. It aches that she's the one making him act this way.

Then he turns around after looking at her, all of the light drained from his eyes.

He takes three large steps, putting immeasurable space between them in no time and she knows that if she lets him walk away right now he might not come back and that's a gut wrenching thought that makes her chase after him.

Thoughtlessly, she grabs his arm halting his exit from her life.

"Wait!" She shouts, but at the first touch of her hand on his forearm he's already frozen, still in her arms. He doesn't turn around. She shoots him a silent mental thank you, even if it's not his intention it's much easier to say what's on her mind like this without him facing her and her feeling too open and vulnerable. 

"I know you're the one making me food." There was supposed to be a thank you somewhere in there but instead she ends up sounding accusatory, and he tenses instantly his arm tight in her grasp.

"I'll stop. I know you told me to leave you alone. I--just. There's no excuse. I'll stop."

His voice is strained and this is going all wrong already, she's ruining everything.

Letting go of his arm, she sidesteps and brazenly moves directly in front of him. She can't keep hiding from this. She needed to be vulnerable, that was the only way he could understand.

His eyes are wet.

She gasps at the sight, not expecting it and so jealous at his ability to just feel and be seen. She was always hiding from everything. 

"Don't."

He doesn't give her a chance to finish.

"Sujin. Let me go. I know already, I know it all. I can't like you, I shouldn't get my hopes up, I need to mind my business. I know it all!" He shouts, pain marring his face but she notices how he still tugs his arm free gently, still careful about harming her even while he’s breaking down. 

She doesn’t deserve this. 

This is all her fault she knows that to be an objective truth, but the way he throws her own words back at her makes her realize how cruel she'd been while trying to spare him. She hadn't spared anything, the pain in his eyes and voice makes that abundantly clear.

"Don't stop. Don't give up on me." She finishes, staring at him with her own wet eyes, tears prickling at them.

His shoulders sink as he stares at her, lost and hesitant. 

"I'm sorry. I’m sorry for saying those things to you.  I can't promise I won't push you away again. I'm...I'm fucked up Seojun-ah. I'm a fucking mess. But I want to stop, I don't want to push people away."

I don't want to push you away. But she’s still too much of a coward to say that out loud. 

"Sujin, what-what are you trying to say?" He looks at her with guarded eyes, not yet ready to believe the words coming out of her mouth.

"I want to be friends."

She watches him wrestle with her sentence, hurt being covered up by a façade and she's not obtuse, she knows that's not the answer he was hoping for. Knows he thinks she's friend zoning and clipping the wings of his feelings.

"That's all I can deal with right now. I have a lot to work on, I need to work on me." It may seem like a cop out, an excuse but it's the most honest she's ever been with herself, it's not that she doesn't like him she might- if the way her heart thumps when he’s around says anything- but more importantly she has realized that she doesn’t like herself.

"Right now." He repeats in awe, she blinks confused before realizing the implications of her words, she starts sputtering trying to backtrack but he's too quick beating her to the punch.

"I can do friends. For now." She blushes at the beaming smile on his face, his happiness over such a small acquiesce is too much. Why did he have to wear his heart so obviously on his sleeves?

They stand simply staring at each other. Locked in the moment.

She might need to remind her heart that they'd only agreed to be friends.

For now.

💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄💄

I don't like onions.

She doesn't know what possesses her to text him first, or what compels her to send that particular message. She starts googling if there's a way to unsend messages, instead finding stories from others regaling their own embarrassing messages and finding solace that she isn't alone in this feeling. 

She jumps when her phone vibrates. Slowly turning it over like it's a ticking bomb.

Of course you'd be a picky eater. Onions are good for you.

She rolls her eyes at the message, he was such a nagger.

It's not good if I don't enjoy it.

Alright princess, noted. No more onions. Are you okay with chicken teriyaki tomorrow?

She recalls the delicious chicken teriyaki he'd made for her just days ago, it was succulent and juicy and she'd fought Suho over it, reminding him that this was her food and she replies quickly.

Yes! Do you have more kimchi?

I do. I'll pack some.

She stares at the phone, in disbelief at the how easy it is to talk to him again, like there was an empty spot in her life, a Seojun shaped gap that was now filled once more. She wasn't fixed, she had meant what she told him; she couldn't examine her feelings for him yet. But she needed him in her life, he was there when she needed someone and now no one else would do.

I missed you.

[roselen-mylady]

In Another Life

Bucky Barnes x reader °part fourteen°

Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life. They were separated by two different times.

But the pain in their lives were connected.

Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occured she lost him.

And Bucky never got to meet her.

"It's called Recover and Enable with Stark Technologies: Opportunity, Revival and Excellence. Or uh, RESTORE for short." Tony explained, the hologram capturing what they all knew to be one of his last days. "Damn, now that I say it aloud, it's a bit pretentious but we'll get used to it." He chuckled, still a little proud of his abbreviation.

"It's a resources company really. Offers financial help to families affected by the snap along with structure and aid to businesses, cooperations, hell even the government. They've always had their heads up their asses though." Y/n listened carefully, her heart stinging a bit more than usual. Maybe it was from watching yet another message from her idol and lost friend.

"It comes along with therapy and counseling. Really it's supposed to help piece the world back together. You should feel right at home. It was that aspect that told me you'd be perfect for the job. I'm sure I can help you with the other parts of the job. Or uh, Pepper will. I was never any good at running a business that was always her thing." Tony smiled fondly, the hologram's eyes seeming to stare straight into Pepper's.

Y/n could tell Pepper was fighting tears. It only made her own guilt grow.

Why did Tony have to die? It wasn't a fair question. Not to her. She should've done more, should've given her life to let him live the rest of his. To see his daughter grow up. To let Pepper finally have peace.

But what if she had? Would Bucky had even known she was his soulmate? Would he have found her body in the rumble, her shattered arm and scarred skin barely visible from the damage of the stones she should've been destroyed by. Would he have had to find out his soulmate had lost the war from her stopped countdown? Would he have had to piece together how close they were to meeting? Would he recover from that?

"We need to start soon," Pepper spoke suddenly, hastily wiping her face as she stood. Y/n watched wide eyed and silent as Pepper paced over to a man she'd learned to be Happy, quietly requesting he watch Morgan. Y/n stood, quickly moving to follow the woman.

She understood what Pepper was doing. She was avoiding the pain, putting all her effort and focus into anything but the death of her husband. Hundreds of people did it after the first snap and she couldn't say she blamed them. But it was different this time. There was no way she could've prevented the first snap, no way she could've saved all of those lives that were now returned.

But the last snap was within arms reach of her. She was capable of stopping it, sparing the last victim of the snap. But she failed.

Maybe Pepper had the right idea. This guilt was overwhelming.

"Tony set up some meetings with other corporations for Monday. I'd like you to be there with me." Pepper told her, her heels rhythmically clicking down the steps as Y/n followed carefully.

"Monday? Doesn't this seem a little rushed? I mean, I don't even know what I'm doing. Shouldn't I have some kind of lessons?" Y/n objected, her brow creasing warily.

"You'll learn through experience." Pepper replied. It was too much, too overwhelming. Y/n had just lost two friends, another left her and she'd met her soulmate. Now they wanted her to run a company that the world would eventually depend on?

How would she even begin?

In an effort to take a breath, she looked away from Pepper, her eyes trailing to the lake. It was peaceful, much more peaceful than Y/n had felt in days-years if she was being honest.

She hoped that after everything that had happened, she could just go back to being normal or as normal as someone like her could be. She didn't care about the hero's life and she didn't want to be Iron Star for any longer than she had to. But as she looked around at the others, she realized that was becoming less and less of a possibility. They looked at her as if she were next.

They seemed to know she was going to be one of them just by looking at her. But why? Because Tony took a chance on her? Because they were so similar? Or was it something else, something she hadn't seen yet?

Suddenly the calm ripples in the water were disturbed with a large splash, sending the area into chaos. A rock had broken the surface of the lake, sinking in the next second. It happened so quick and so subtly that she wasn't sure it'd even happened. The water calmed once more and the rock was lost to the bottom of the lake.

Once finding the source of the rock, her breath hitched.

He was there at the lakeside, pacing with one hand in his pocket while the other rubbed his neck. His head was downcast and he looked stressed, just as stressed as she was. That's when she realized.

He'd just met his soulmate too. After what she guessed to be almost 90 years. Nearly a century without his soulmate. He was just as nervous and overwhelmed. But it didn't mean he wasn't dying to talk to her. She could feel it, his eagerness. The way his heart ached to speak to her again even if only a few words. She wondered if he could feel her own longing.

"I need to do something. I'll be right back." Y/n excused herself, trying to be as polite as she could. She knew Pepper wanted to carry out her husband's last wish as soon as possible but they both knew he wouldn't have meant it like this. Didn't mean to leave them alone to handle it.

Pepper nodded, releasing a sigh. Everything was beginning to weigh down on her and she knew forcing more onto her shoulders wasn't gonna work this time. "Just call me tomorrow, okay?"

"I will." Y/n assured, looking back to Bucky. Pepper's expression had softened a bit following Y/n's gaze.

She remembered the first time she'd met Tony. At first he was adamant about their relationship, refusing to let her forget they were soulmates. But after what happened in Afghanistan he stopped his teasing. He stopped addressing it altogether. The trauma was too much.

Tony wasn't the same and things changed. But she liked to think it was for the better. He was a better man but he stopped seeing himself as worthy of a soulmate. He forgot what soulmates were for and it crushed Pepper.

She refused to let Y/n feel the same.

"Just meet me at Stark Industries on Monday. Have this time with him." Pepper told Y/n, motioning her head toward Bucky.

Y/n nodded softly, working up the courage to make her way to him. "Thank you."

•••

"What did that poor rock do to you?" Bucky froze at her question, whipping around to face her. She offered a soft smile, trying to break the awkwardness before it became too strong.

Bucky let out an airy laugh, looking back at the lake where he'd just thrown the rock. "Looked at me funny." He replied jokingly, turning back to her. She moved carefully toward him, coming to stand at his side a couple feet away.

He wished she would stand closer, close enough for him to put his arm around her. Close enough for him to hold her tight and never let her go. But he'd respect the distance. He'd give her space.

There was a buzz in the air as she stood there next to him, as if everything was falling into place. It felt like the atmosphere had shifted, that the stars had aligned. After all these years without her, he finally had her.

And all he could muster was, 'looked at me funny'?

"Must've been some look." Y/n replied with an amused smirk.

The silence was overwhelming but welcomed. Of course both wanted to fill it with anything and everything they could say but neither were ready for that. They each had their secrets, their pasts. They were at a conflicting crossroads.

"It's strange. I've waited my whole life to tell you everything but now I don't have anything to say." Y/n let out a strained laugh, looking down at her sling. She wanted so badly to see her countdown, to finally confirm to herself that she had him and that he wasn't going anywhere. But her countdown couldn't promise that. Only fate could keep him at her side and so far fate hadn't been kind.

"Me too." Bucky mumbled, cringing at how awkward he believed to be making things.

'Say something.' His mind cursed at him. 'Say anything.'

"You're really beautiful." He spoke suddenly, his face flushing at how stupid he sounded. He meant it of course. She was stunning despite the cuts and bruises along her features. Gorgeous even with the dirt and dried blood that traced her hairline. Enchanting regardless of the sling that obstructed her movement. She was beautiful.

But saying it aloud after only speaking a few words to one another made him feel silly. So long ago he'd call complete strangers beautiful without a second thought. But was that right with his soulmate? Were there certain things he should do? A way to act?

All his worries faded away with her smile, such a glorious thing he couldn't wait to see everyday for the rest of his life. If she would have him.

"Thank you, Bucky." His name slipped off her lips so naturally it was as if she'd been saying it all her life. And maybe she had. Fate worked in mysterious ways and his mother was a firm believer that soulmates always found one another. In this life or another. He'd never believed it but now he had. They'd found each other, despite time and despite space. They were bound to one another and he could feel that Y/n knew it too.

"I have a place in the city. It's where I was heading before...you know. Not that meeting you was an inconvenience, I honestly never thought I would. Not that I didn't want to, I dreamt of it...-I'm rambling now." She sighed. How had she managed to make it even more awkward?

"It's okay." Bucky assured, unable to stop his smile from growing.

"What I was trying to say is I'd like you to stay with me, if you want. It might be a little bit more comfortable than whatever lodging Fury is getting for you all. I have a spare room." She offered, her heart heavy with the idea of Steve being gone. He'd chosen the life he wanted. Unfortunately she wasn't a part of it.

"I'd like that." Bucky nodded, his heart swelling at the suggestion. Not only was it one of the few kind acts he'd experienced since escaping HYDRA, it was also an invitation from his soulmate into her life.

He wouldn't squander the opportunity.

"Great." Y/n smiled, releasing the breath she'd been holding upon his answer. A part of her had been scared of rejection. But she guessed things with soulmates were different. They were easier. Maybe it was the assurance that they were the right match or maybe it was just the overall feeling of belonging that came with the other's presence.

Soulmates were easy.

At least she thought.

•••

When they arrived at Y/n's apartment, she was grateful she had cleaned up before everything that had happened. She'd never brought a man home before, let alone her soulmate and she wasn't sure what to say or do. The only person that she'd even brought to her apartment was Steve and by then their conversation flowed as easily as breathing.

"You have a nice place, very um, modern?" He offered, not knowing what to say himself. It'd been so many years since he'd even talked to a woman and he wasn't even sure he knew how to flirt anymore.

"Thank you." Y/n replied quietly, glancing around the apartment as if trying to see it through his eyes. She remembered Steve mentioning the lack of photos once when he first started to live there. Did Bucky think it was weird?

"Can I get you something to drink? Water, coffee, wine…?" She trailed off. Bucky looked at her, taking notice of her own nerves.

"Water is fine." He answered, smiling at her softly in any attempt to soothe her.

It seemed to work as she smiled back at him, turning toward the kitchen to get a glass of water. "Make yourself comfortable. You can watch TV if you'd like." Y/n called to him, taking a moment after pouring the glass to lean against the counter and sigh, hiding away from the source of her anxiety.

She'd always wanted to meet him. She had wanted to have him in her life from the moment she'd heard about soulmates. But what she never expected was how awkward it would be. She'd always been told that soulmates clicked instantly but they hadn't quite clicked yet. And she could tell Bucky felt it too.

Perhaps it was everything they'd been through? Maybe it'd changed them both enough to where clicking was harder? Or maybe they'd never click.

Her heart dropped at this, sending a surge of pain through her chest. Would she even be able to live with herself if they never clicked? She'd lost everyone, would she lose her soulmate too?

Suddenly a booming voice echoed from the living room, frightening her out of her daze. Quickly grabbing the glass, she dashed into the living room, plucking the remote from the wide eyed Bucky. Hastily, she muted it letting out a panicked sigh as the reporter continued on with his story silently.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Don't be sorry, really. Trust me that's not the first time I've had to rescue a 100 year old vet from my TV. It just seems to know who to attack." She nervously laughed, setting down the remote. The tense air seemed to relax at that and Bucky found himself chuckling along with her.

The accident, though startling at first, made her feel more at ease. It was something familiar and for the first time since their meeting, there was no awkward feeling between them.

"Here," Y/n handed the glass to him with a shaking hand, trying not to let him see how much had spilled out onto her hand when she rushed into the living room.

Bucky accepted it from her, his fingers lingering on hers for just a moment before retracting.

He could feel her but not like his hand used to. The metal digits no longer felt warmth or pain or tenderness. He could feel when something touched him but all the things that made touch special were stolen along with his real appendage. He wished he'd reached out with his other arm, that he could feel the softness of her skin, the warmth.

"I-I'm not sure how this goes. I rehearsed this a thousand times when I first got my countdown but things are so much more different than I expected. My parents always raised me on the false ideal that we'd meet somewhere cliche like a coffee shop or something." She shook her head, immediately regretting her words the moment they left her mouth.

"I don't really know either. Honestly, I never thought I'd meet you." He sighed, his heart aching with the decades he'd lived believing that he'd die before meeting her. But now she was here and he was ruining it.

Y/n frowned with him, racking her brain for anyway to save their less than perfect first day. "Maybe we should start over." She suggested, putting out her free hand to him.

"Hi. I'm Dr. Y/n L/n." She introduced, deciding there couldn't be harm in starting over. Their meeting was emotional and overwhelming and after all it was just awkward. But Y/n didn't want to remember it that way and neither did Bucky.

As she had hoped, he smiled, putting his own hand into hers and shaking it gently. "Sergeant James Barnes. But everyone calls me Bucky." He replied, his smile growing as she looked at him, her eyes conveying all the warmth she was too scared to admit.

"It's very nice to meet you, Bucky." Y/n smiled, studying the way he looked at her and trying not to let herself blush.

"It's an honor to meet you, Y/n."

•••

The rest of the evening continued this way, an occasional small bount of awkwardness along with some silence before another conversation arised. It was just like getting to know a stranger and while it wasn't what she had anticipated when she thought of meeting her soulmate, it still made her happier than she had ever been.

"So, I started to climb up the fire escape because I definitely wasn't going to wait outside in the snow storm for Steve to rescue me." Y/n explained matter-of-factly, earning a small chuckle from Bucky.

"Of course." He replied shortly, already picturing the woman before him beginning her journey up the fire escape.

"Turns out Steve was already home but he was in the shower. He got out right as I made it to the window and he nearly threw me several stories because he thought I was a burglar. He was so mad, he called me crazy about a hundred times before finally letting me in." Bucky laughed at her retelling, watching the glimmer in her eyes as she relived it.

"Like he's one to judge. When we were younger he'd lose his key all the time, had to start hiding one under a brick at his ma's apartment." Bucky told her, his heart aching slightly as he thought of the last time he'd had to help Steve. His mother had just passed and Bucky was pleading with Steve to stay with him. But Steve was independent, always had been.

"He wanted to change the locks when he found out I lost my key, which I mean, is a fair request but realistically there are about 3 million apartments in the city and the chances of someone finding this one was impossible. Also when you add Captain America into the mix, the chances of your apartment being robbed are quite slim." She explained. She still hadn't changed the locks now that she thought about it and Steve was gone.

And besides she'd survived before Steve. But it didn't make her miss him any less.

"You can never be too careful." Bucky replied, shrugging softly.

"I suppose." Y/n mumbled, looking down at the coffee table where her feet were resting. It always drove Steve crazy but it never stopped her. Yet now she almost felt compelled to do so. Some way to respect his wishes. "What was he like? Who was Steve before the serum and everything?" She asked, slowly dropping her feet from the table.

The question stunned Bucky, leaving him speechless for a few short moments. Several words popped to his mind to describe Steve but they were all things he knew Y/n would already have witnessed.

"He was selfless and brave. And stupid. So stupid. Never knew when to sit a fight out." Bucky chuckled fondly, though it faded just as fast as it had come. "He fought for me when I was on the run from HYDRA. He lost everything to save me."

"Sounds like Steve." Y/n didn't lift her gaze only offering a weak smile at her beloved friend's description.

Y/n was exhausted, so much more tired than she believed possible but given her physical state it made sense. She yawned, trying to muffle as much of it as she could, her eyes watering at how harsh the yawn had rolled through her.

Bucky hardly noticed, a bount of guilt settling on his heavy heart. Bucky didn't deserve saving. But Steve fought for him anyways. And now he was sitting next to his soulmate, the very soulmate he dared not envision a life with for fear of a broken heart.

"How weird that Steve befriended us both, nearly a century apart. And I thought fate was fucked." Y/n laughed quietly, drawing Bucky out of his thoughts. Another yawn took hold of her and Bucky noticed this time, a soft smile gracing his features as he watched her nose scrunch and her hand pathetically fail to hide the yawn.

"It's been a long day." Bucky said quietly, earning a small nod from her.

"You're right." She mumbled, trying to fight off the sleep that so desperately wanted to claim her. There was still so much she wanted to talk to him about and the few hours they had spent getting to know one another didn't feel like enough. But her body was protesting every second she spent awake.

With a silent sigh, she stood pacing off toward Steve's room to find Bucky some clothes for bed. Bucky rose from the couch to follow, taking notice of how her breathing seemed ragged, almost forced.

It worried him but he didn't say anything. Maybe this was normal? He had no idea. He hadn't thought to ask Steve about her condition and asking her now didn't seem right. So he merely watched her with a silent and concerned gaze.

However once reaching Steve's room, Bucky's attention was stolen. It was clear Steve lived in this room. Whether it was the religiously kept bed, neutral colored clothes hung neatly in the closet or the drawings and pictures strung along his walls, Bucky knew this was where Steve had spent a great deal of time.

The pictures varied in a great deal of things, from NYC buildings drawn from the point of view of the street to beautiful scenes from different cities that Bucky guessed Steve had seen during missions. But one in particular caught his eye, pinned carefully to the wall with a tack.

It was of Y/n from her shoulders up, her head slightly turned down. He found her face was quickly becoming a source of comfort. Just seeing her put him at ease and he'd only met her that day.

The picture gave him that same kind of feeling, the feeling that made his chest soft and his muscles relax. It was a way he had yet to see her, so peaceful and calm.

She was reading a book or maybe a magazine? Her eyes focused on the words but there was a daze behind them as if she were daydreaming. He wondered what she had been thinking about. Wondered why she no longer wore her hair like it was in the portrait. Or maybe she did and he hadn't seen it yet?

There were so many things he'd yet to know and a part of him was furious that he had missed all this time with her. He wanted to know her as well as Steve had, wanted to know everything that made her Y/n. He was furious with fate for stealing that from him.

"Here, these might be comfortable enough for sleepwear. But honestly none of Steve's clothes look very comfortable." Y/n spoke, sending a wary look toward Steve's closet where she'd just been.

"So, Steve lived here?" Bucky asked, under the impression that Steve was more of a frequent guest. Y/n tilted her head with a small nod, looking around at the room.

It had once been her office, the very office she used to hold her sessions in. But once branching out to old cafes, the room was often vacant. Thankfully that was around the time she met Steve and the room quickly found a new purpose.

"Yeah, I mean he still went to the compound sometimes but this was his home. He didn't pay rent but he helped out around the apartment, most of the time." Y/n shrugged, smirking slightly. "He had a thing about dishes." She spoke, raising a brow at Bucky as if he might have some sort of background on the interesting flaw.

"He used to say didn't like his fingers to get wrinkled but I always knew it was because soggy food made him sick." Bucky explained, smiling at the memory.

Never before had he met someone who knew Steve as well as he did. It had always been just them. And while he was gone it was just Y/n and Steve. Now they were desperately trying to piece themselves together. It was strange, finding someone exactly like him, yet so different.

"You know, for a guy who's seen so much violence, I didn't think that soggy food would be his Kryptonite." Y/n remarked, walking over to the bed and sitting on the side.

"Kryptonite?" Bucky asked, the word foreign to him. Was it like Vibranium?

Y/n paused. "Oh um. Superman? From the comics? He was still kind of new around your guy's time. 1938, I believe." She explained.

Bucky nodded softly, vague memories of Steve mentioning it to him resurfacing. "I remember seeing them but I never really read them." Bucky replied, watching as she adjusted her sling.

"Well, Superman's one weakness was Kryptonite. I guess Captain America's weakness is dishes." She chuckled, seemingly unaware of how distraught her condition made him.

A silence fell over them after that, nearly killing them both. It was almost annoying how badly their conversation flowed. The most at ease they'd felt with each other was when they first met. When they were in each other's arms. It took everything she had not to stand up and throw herself into him again.

"Well, I um, I'm going to um-..." Y/n mumbled, trying to dismiss the thought. Bucky nodded softly, shifting the clothes in his hands. A simple pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

"Yeah." He murmured, watching quietly as she stood making her way to the door.

There was a tension between them, the kind that made Bucky's heart clench and his brows furrow. Y/n could feel it too. But neither acted.

"Goodnight, Bucky." Y/n spoke barely above a whisper, the weight of the tension crashing down on her.

"Goodnight." He replied, his eyes trailing her until she disappeared down the hall.

The weight lifted as soon as she was gone but he soon found himself missing it. Why was talking to her so impossibly hard? He tried telling himself that with time things would get easier but time was the only thing he was no longer willing to give up. He needed to try something different.

Needed to reapproach the whole soulmate thing.

Part fifteen

Taglist:

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Sorry for such a delayed update, I've been so busy lately but I hope to start updating regularly again! Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist!!!