#but she also has other clothes that arent stupid shirts i swear

[obsidian-art04]

Finally gave her a ref!

[Old designs below the cut!]

Reverse chronological order(?)

(Newest to oldest)

And ig I should also include the previous oc, who also went by Miyako (who isn't her. I transed his gender a while ago)

[anarchistgumball]

Bakukami

Continuation of this fic not nessicary to read but highly appreciated!

Events from the previous night flooded Bakugo’s mind. Shit. Kaminari was curled up to his side lightly gripping his shirt, he didn’t know if he should wake Kaminari up or let him sleep because of the tough night he had. Bakugo cracked his neck and tried to escape from Kaminari’s grip, thankfully he succeeded. He went to the kitchen where Kirishima was making a protein shake (one of the few things he could make)

“So uhh are you going to tell me why Kaminari’s on our couch?”

“Jiro cheated on him, so he came here”

“Oh shit…. Why’d he go to you though…. You arent exactly the… nicest.”

Bakugo just shrugged and got out things to make breakfast. While Bakugo was cracking open eggs Kirishima seemed to be thinking.

“You know we should go get his things”

“What the hell do you mean?”

“Well, he probably doesn’t want to be around Jiro right now and it’s just a manly thing to do something for your bros”

Bakugo rolled his eyes. “We’ll talk to him about it.”

Kirishima nodded, poured out his shake and went to sit on the chair beside the couch. When Bakugo was done he could hear Kaminari yawning. Fuck, why did he have to be adorable and in pain and not his. He sighed and divided up the eggs for him, Kirishima, and their (hopefully at least semi- permanent) ‘guest’.

“Hey idiots”

Both Kaminari and Kirishima’s eyes lit up when they saw the plates.

“Thanks bakubro!”

Kaminari just smiled, as Bakugo handed off the plates.

“So.. Dunce face”

Kaminari raised an eyebrow at him, swallowed what he was chewing and spoke “Yeah?”

“Would it be okay if me and Shitty hair got your stuff from Jiro’s”

Kaminari looked down, face contorted in what looked like pain “yeah” It was quiet.

Kirishima put his plate on the coffee table and sat next to Kaminari, arms open. Once Kaminari’s plate was next to Kirishima’s he dove into the others arms. Kirishima rubbed circles into the others back while Bakugo awkwardly watched. Kirishima was definitely better than him at this though. Why couldn’t he be like Kirishima?

“Shhh Kami, it’s okay, it’ll get better.” He started stroking his hair. “We’ll help you, we all will. Me, Bakugo, Mina, Sero- we’re all here for you.”

Why couldn’t he help Denki? This wasn’t about Bakugo, he knew it wasn’t but now he felt like shit. Not necessarily their fault he felt like a shit friend- He should know that he should’ve said something like that, been more comforting. After a minute that seemed to last a lifetime Kaminari untangled himself from Kirishima.

“Thanks kiri”

Kiri just smiled while saying ‘no problem bro!’ Bakugo stared off somewhere trying to ignore everything.

Kirishima and him had just left to get Kaminari’s stuff. He was not looking forward to it, just knowing he’d have to interact with Jiro- someone who hurt Kaminari, left a bad taste in his mouth. Honestly on top of all the emotional shit if this got out it would effect her newfound career, how could she be so stupid? Once they pulled up Kirishima knocked on the door, smile dimmer. Jiro answered it, her eyes rimmed red. How the fuck did she have the audacity to cry when she caused this. She frowned.

“What are you doing here”

Kirishima opened his mouth to speak, but Bakugo interjected first. “We came to get Kaminari’s shit”

“No”

“What the hell do you mean ‘no’ I didn’t fucking ask- I told you why.”

“Kaminari has to come here if he wants his stuff and talk to me”

“Why?” At this point kirishima was on the sidelines while Bakugo and Jiro argued.

“Because I want- need to talk to him”

“No you don’t, not until he’s ready. Let us in.”

She wasn’t moving. “No”

Bakugo growled. “I swear to fucking god if you don’t let us in I’ll tell people and the damn media what you have done.” Shady? Completely. Did he care? Not in this instance. She moved. “Only his stuff.” Bakugo roughly entered, Kirishima treading after to him. They had trashbags to put Kaminari’s clothes and small things of his in. He went to their bedroom, it was somewhat messy- mostly Kaminari’s things strewn around. He couldn’t tell if it was his or Jiro’s doing. It didn’t matter as he shoved it into the bag, he took whatever might’ve been Kaminari’s not really knowing as the guy could wear sweats and a T-shirt one day and a crop top the next. He could hear Kirishima trying (and failing) to softly toss items like deodorant, body wash, and shampoo into the plastic bag.

“You guys don’t even fucking understand what happened” They could hear Jiro muttering.

“What did happen then” This time it was Kirishima who spoke up, voice harsher than normal. Jiro just pressed her lips into a thin line and stayed quiet.

When they got home Kaminari hugged them both, sniffling again.

“So uh We also got an air mattress because we didn’t know if you had a place to stay” Kirishima scratched the back of his head setting down the box that contained the mattress. Kaminari living with them was something Kirishima brought up on their way home, to Bakugo’s pleasure, he really didn’t want to be the one to open the conversation. It wasn’t a very long discussion before they abandoned going home in favor of getting the shitty bed. Kirishima didn’t mind another one of his best friends living with them especially if it meant less chores, Bakugo was pretty easy to convince seeing he already knew about his ‘soft spot’ for Kaminari.

“Oh I don’t want to intrude….I can find a place to stay”

“Or you can not let this go to waste and live here while you get back on your feet” In all honesty Bakugo would be fine with Kaminari never moving out, but he wouldn’t say that. He’d also be fine with helping Kaminari move on with Jiro but taking advantage of his friends while they were struggling wasn’t really his forte.

“Okay I guess but if ever geet in the way or intrude, or something-

“Pikachu shut up”

“Bro you aren’t intruding, we’d love it if you’d stay!” Kirishima elbowed Bakugo while he scowled.

“Okay guys, thanks! I love you two!” Kaminari basically launched himself towards the both of them, hugging them with one arm each.

“Love you too bro!”

“Yeah..” Was the only thing that escaped Bakugo’s mouth. When Kaminari released them, him and Kirishima kept talking about how cool it would be to live together. At least he wasn’t crying anymore.

@rreset (I didn’t know if you would want to be tagged in this but you requested a part two so here!)

[latestageyouth]

When you walk away (Nothing more to say)

chapter 10 - just,,,,all the fucking angst

trigger warnings: sympathetic Remus and Deceit, self-degrading talk, thoughts of suicide, crying, glass stuck in hand (Remus breaks a beer bottle in his hand), blood, toxic father, lots of swearing, lots of angst, allusions to biting nails into blood, rain, talk of hypothermia, some mentions of a dog barking, allusions to self harm and suicide (no actual suicide or intended self-harm), cognitive distortions, underage drinking, drinking spoiled beer let me know if i missed something

summary:  All the fucking angst poured into one chapter intended to emotionally destroy you.

author’s note: it's 2,500 plus words, buckle up, buttercups. I am writings this at near-midnight and if ya'll see some typos, don't blame it on me blame it on the red bull. Also wooo!!! this is the 10th chapter!!! can't believe I made it that far and that ya'll are still reading my elaborate daydreams that I vomited onto a screen!! yaay!!!

He was cold. No, not cold, numb. Both, actually. The rain trickled along his soaked denim jacket. Not that Damon cared, he deserved it anyway. The jacket did nothing to keep him warm, after all, it's main purpose was to look cool. A shiver shot through him as his phone buzzed in his back pocket. His shaking hand slowly took it out, "Avery...?"

Remus.

Damon put the phone back and let it ring until the only sound he could hear was the rain falling, the occasional car driving by. He didn't want to talk to Remus right now.

...Huh. Didn't want to talk to Remus, that would be a first. A bittersweet feeling flooded Damon's chest. He couldn't tell if he was still crying or not, if yes, the rain mixed with the tears too perfectly to tell. He could still see the sidewalk before him, but not for long. It was dark, it was getting darker. Damon sighed, just a few streets more. Just a-

He sneezed. Great, so now he has a cold, this day couldn't end any better. He flinched as a loud barking began, probably a dog. It's not like Damon paid any attention to it. He didn't know if Avery would be home, he prayed that they were not. The barking stopped, that or Damon was far enough for the sound of rain to block it out. He should check if Avery was home.

He pulled the phone out again, scrolling through the phone screen with some difficulty due to the rain. He finally reached their phone number, typing a simple message: 'u home yet??'

He waited for a response, still walking towards their house. He tried to shield the screen with his arm but eventually gave up when his arm started cramping. After a few minutes, after he finally accepted he would get so response, his phone buzzed. Damon looked at the screen again.

'U MEAN U ARENT HOME YET!?!!'

Oh, shit, that's right. God, Damon was so stupid sometimes. It wasn't long before the phone buzzed again.

'DAMON HORACE BARNES ANSWER ME DAMN IT!!!'

Well, there goes his freedom for the next six years and a half. He sped up his tempo and began writing back: 'i was at-' he hesitated, finger hovering before the screen for a while, then they got back to work 'i was at virgil's'

'...at least u were inside, wouldnt want u hanging out under a bride in this bad weather or something'

'lmao y would i be under a bridge im not THAT stupid'

'just get home already -_-'

And with that, Damon shut off his phone and looked up at where he was, hopefully his muscle memory didn't betray him. It didn't seem to, as his house was finally in view. He sighed and walked directly towards it, picking up the spare key from beneath the welcome mat on the rocky path. He opened the door and was immediately hit with a wave of warmth. He took off the soaking jacket and tossed it onto the kitchen table. He shivered at the feeling of bare arms, the wet t-shirt doing nothing to preserve his body heat. Not that he cared anyway, it was just another thing to add to his list of problems.

He went straight to his room, not bothering to turn on the light, plopping onto his bed in the still wet clothes. Now that he was alone, still cold, and at home, he could think about what will be the consequences of his actions. He tangled his hands into his hair. Stupid. Remus probably hates him now, great, he made everything between them awkward because he was selfish and wanted Remus for himself. He curled up into himself. Stupid. Of course the one time he doesn't think, the only time he acts on impulse, is the time that he ruins everything and more. He tugs on his hair harshly, taking his attention away from the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He's so stupid.

"Okay, you guys ready?" Jenna glanced between the two, "Or is our widdle newd here afraid of freezing to death?" she baby-talked at Logan.

Logan rolled his eyes in retaliation, not saying anything and instead walking up the steep hill to Jenna's brother's car. He...wasn't entirely sure what he was called. Kind of a bad thing considering he was getting a ride from him. It wasn't long before the other two joined, Jenna sitting in the front seat while Logan and Virgil were in the back seat. Logan didn't care for nor listened to the bickering of the twin. He turned his head to the other side at the heavy feeling on his shoulder. Virgil was resting against it, of course, Virgil always preferred to initiate physical contact, it was obvious why. The ride was not at all silent, not that it bothered either of them. It wasn't long before they were at Virgil's house, with the mix of Virgil signing and Logan interpreting to...Tyler, was it? for directions. He didn't thank the twins, even when exiting the old car. It was a bummer leaving Logan, but he'll live, right?

Virgil pulled out his keys to the house and let himself in, recoiling in panic when someone threw himself at him, "There you are! I was worried sick! I thought someone had kidnapped you or you froze to death!" Emile pulled back, still clutching at his shoulders, to look at him, "Do you even know how late it is?! I thought you…" Emile trailed off. The scars on Virgil's legs hurt faintly as he did. Emile soon shook his head, "Well, I am really glad you didn't. Y-you must be cold. Wait on the sofa, I'll make you some hot cocoa and reheat yesterday's dinner, yeah?"

Virgil couldn't help but nod, his chest heaving with guilt of what he did. Not the same guilt mom made him feel, no, definitely not. This was a new kind, he didn't like that one either. The sofa was soft, softer than he remembered, maybe he was just tired…Was Logan tired? Why was Virgil asking that? Of course he was, who wouldn't be?

To say Logan was tired would be an underestimation. He was exhausted, in more than one way, "Answer me, for fuck's sake!" The hands banged on the table. Logan didn't relent answering this time, "I, uh, I was heading home and...got caught up with some friends…" he fiddled with the loose of his flannel.

His dad scoffed, "Some friends you have, you smell like cigarettes and paint."

Logan needed to think of a good lie, just until momma comes down. Just a few minutes, she always worries for Logan, she would check if he came home. His dad inched closer, "It's a second-hand smell, I had to take a shortcut through a poorer part of the city."

Soft steps could be heard up the stairs, growing closer and closer. It wasn't soon after that momma revealed herself on top of them, tired as always. She froze for a second when she saw Logan, then stomped down, all while dad tried to reason with her, "Honey, Melissa, you surely know what a slacker he is, I mean, look at him."

Melissa turned her head so she couldn't see Gerald sign or move his lips. She looked at Logan taking his face in her hands. Logan looked away, sighing after an intense staring contest that Melissa won, "I am sorry, it won't happen again, I promise," Melissa was still frowning, but her face softened, she always had a soft spot for Logan.

Gerald scoffed, knowing his wife won't hear him anyway, "I can't believe she's that gullible..." he grumbled something under his breath, most probably about Logan being spoiled, and went upstairs to his office, where else would he go? His mother removed her hands from his cheeks and began signing, a thing Logan was glad he didn't have to interpret to someone anymore, like, do you even know how tiring that is?

'Where on earth have you been? Do you know how worried I was?!'

Logan sighed, signing back, 'I was out with some of my friends, I apologize for making you worry,' he watched as surprise glazed over her face for a second.

'Boys like Roman and Patton would never stay out so late.'

Logan hesitated, looking away.

Melissa raised an eyebrow, eventually waving it off and sending Logan to bed. The poor boy must be tired, she was too. She can interrogate him about his whereabouts some other time.

Tap. Tap. Tap. The droplets of rain fell to the ground endlessly. Clank. Remus kicked the trash can over, garbage spilling over the sidewalk. Tap. Tap. Tap. His shoes tapped against the concrete. His uneven breaths echoed the streets in white clouds of breaths. The place where his fingernails should be is stinging with the cold and pain, fingers digging into the outer side of his arms, dried blood on where the fingers were placed. It wasn't from the arms, his nails weren't sharp enough to do that. Remus could still feel the metallic taste in his mouth, the familiar taste, it didn't mean he liked it though. He hit his foot on something hard, his eyebrows furrowed. Remus looked down at it, slowly picking the beer bottle up. Did it have something left? Remus shook it. Hah, at least something in his life didn't go wrong for once. It tasted bitter, flat, Remus might say. Not that it mattered, as long as it got him drunk. He took another swig, face scrunching up at the taste, but hey, he'll get used to it. Just like he gets used to everything. Like living with momma. Like being a disappointment of the family. Like being alone. Yeah, he can get used to being alone again, no biggie. He'll get over it. He gets over everything.

He heard a car passing, god, he hopes it'll run him over. It gets closer, Remus can hear it. He considers running in front of it...no, he...he couldn't do that to Virgil. A freezing shock runs through the left side of his body, he shrikes and jumps away from the road.

...God, simply fucking amazing. Now he's soaked completely. Well, too late to jump in front of that car now. Remus blinked and looked up...Where was he again? How...How long did he walk for?

"Remus?"

He already knew who that was, how couldn't he? He didn't need to be babied. Remus kept walking. He couldn't even bare looking at Damon's family.

The car still rode beside him slowly, "Remus, kid, you're gonna freeze out here, c'mon."

Remus kept walking.

Avery sighed, "I'll drive you home, okay?"

"Why?" Remus barked back. His step quickened.

Avery stuttered, "Why?!" Remus flinched at the sudden rise of tone. Avery tensed, "Look, sport, by this rate you're gonna get hypothermia, and I already have one teenager to worry about. Get in the car."

Remus didn't relent. He didn't wanna deal with anyone right now. Knowing Avery, they wouldn't...interrogate him, per se, but they will try to, ugh, talk to him. He didn't need that. He didn't hear them say anything. Did they drive off already? He didn't hear them.

Avery sighed, "I'll call your mom."

Remus' eyes widened, "Wait, no, don't!"

Too late. Too late again. Fucking god, Remus just couldn't do anything right, could he? He just...always messed up no matter what. Remus' grip on the bottle tightened. He could just hear ma and Roman, 'God, Remus, you're such a burden!' his hand started shaking. Why should he even bother them with his presence? Maybe if he hurts everyone he comes to contact with he shouldn't exi-

The bottle shattered. Remus hissed in pain. Fuck. He dropped the remains of the beer bottle onto the ground, beer mixing with his blood. His hand twitched, he trembled with pain, and the rain isn't fucking helping. Great, just...fucking magnificent. This shit is just asking to get infected. Whatever. Whatever. What the fuck ever.

Avery opened the door to their house, putting the keys back in their purse. It was dark, don't tell them..."Damon? Honey, are you here?" they called out, listening carefully for any sound. Soft sobbing came from his room. Avery slowly walked to Damon's room, not bothering to knock and opening the door right away, "Sport? You okay?"

The light from the kitchen illuminated a part of his room, mainly the bed where a bundle of sheets shifted more into themselves, "Get out," came from beneath them, voice hoarse and raspy, almost like...

"Oh, honey," Avery walked closer, sitting on the edge of the bed, "I am assuming it has something to do with Remus?"

The muffled breathing stopped, they could almost feel Damon tense.

"I...saw him on the way here," they explained.

Like on command, Damon rose from the bed, "You what?! What did- did he say something? Wh- why is he still out, it's late!" his bloodshot eyes were wide and searching all over Avery's face for answers. All he was getting were dark circles and even darker eyes.

Avery sighed and slowly moved their hand to Damon's. This time, they could actually feel him tense up, "Damon, sweetheart, what happened? Did Remus hurt you?"

Damon looked at Avery like they had just slapped him, Wh-what?! Of course not! He would, he would never do that!" his hand clenched into a fist. Damon looked away from his parent, "I just...messed up like I always do."

Something in Avery broke, "Dee, dee, sugar, look at me."

Although unwillingly, Damon looked at them. They took Damon's face into their hands.

"You could never mess up something as big as you and Remus, okay? One mistake won't erase years of friendship."

"B-but-"

"There are no buts in this household, Dee," they slowly stroked the other's cheek, "I am sure you two will make up in no time."

Eventually, Damon gave up on trying to convince Avery otherwise. He nodded, "Yeah, okay. You're right," just get over with it, he wanted to be alone right now. Or forever.

Avery sighed, "Of course I am, just wait," they got up from the bed and walked over to the door before turning back to Damon, "I'll order some pizza and we can watch Law & Order on my laptop, yeah?"

Damon nodded. As soon as Avery walked out he buried himself back in his bed. Huh, he didn't notice but he was starving. Whatever, he deserved it anyway. He could hear Avery talking on the phone, though he tuned them out. He wanted to be left alone, how could he trust himself around other people now? He couldn't. He shouldn't. He should just...pretend tonight didn't happen and avoid Remus as much as possible. Yes. The best-case scenario, Remus was too drunk to remember it, though, he probably wasn't. Eh, give Damon a rest, let a man dream. Though...Damon wasn't sure he would dream tonight...or anywhen in the future, really. Now that he thinks about it, Damon wasn't sure about a lot of things. Hah, how pathetic of him.

[minerva26love]

Royal Flush

Ok, so this one is really long but i couldnt stop writing and didnt know where to end it. If you liked this please go on my profile i have a couple more. 

“I cant believe your parents trusted us in being here by ourselves,” Remus said as we all were sitting in the living room. I was on the floor reading Witch Weekly laughing at what he said. James and Sirius were as usual arguing and this time it was about pizza. My friends were coming over in a minute. Remus and Peter were at the dinning room table playing Wizards Chess. James parents are out of town for a weekend, so they left us here with money and a liquor cabinet. Obviously we are not old enough but his parents arent strict and they know we wont do anything that stupid. I finally had Lilly to agree to come over as well as Alice. 

“Check mate!” Peter layed his head on the table in defeat.

“Remus, is there anything you arent good at?” i smiled at him

“Only one game and that is poker, I know how to play but i am bloody awful.”

“Yeah me too.” i said. The doorbell rang as James ran to eagerly answer it. His obsession continues.

“Lilly Pop! How are you my darling? Oh hey Alice.” 

“Nice to see you too James.” 

“(Y/N) how are you dear?” Alice and i exchanged hugs as well as me and Lilly. 

“Doing well Lilly Pop.” Remus chuckled in the background and Lilly smacked me. “That was so worth it though.” We all sat around the living room talking about the school year and how we did on our finals. See me and Remus we are kind of competitive and usually i beat him. 

“So (Y,/N) and Remus lets go over grades!” Lilly said, James and Sirius Groaned but thats only because they suck at school. “DADA.”

“Acceptable.” Remus said proudly,

“Acceptable.” i said. Everyone now are even more intrigued because we are tied. 

“Potions.” Lilly said 

“Acceptable.” Remus said 

“Outstanding!” I yelled. Everyone cheered. 

“Charms.” Everyone laughs because i suck at charms.

“Outstanding.” Remus smirks

“Exceeds Expectations” I frowned

“Wow (Y/N), i even beat you on that one.” Sirius laughed. 

“History of Magic” 

“Acceptable” Remus smiled 

“Acceptable.” i said 

“Ok well looks like you guys are tied, theres only one class left. Herbology.” Lilly said. “Remus what was your final grade?”

“Acceptable.” He smiled proudly. The room became silent and everyone look at me. 

“Acceptable.” i smirked. “Looks liked we tied Lupin.” Everyone laughed at Remus’s disappointed face. 

“Well what do we do now? You guys tied.” Everyone sat in silence for a minute thinking on what other game to play. We have already challenged eachother to Wizards Chess many times. We really cant play Quidditch with two people. James then got up in excitement and went in the other room for a moment. We looked at eachother worried about what this boy is going to come up with next.  

“I swear we are not playing spin the bottle!” James yells from the other room. As he came back into the room, holding what looked like a silver briefcase. I get slightly nervous when James has some unknown object in his hand. He leads us to a round table in another room. “We ladies and gentlemen, are going to play some poker.” He opened the briefcase and took out chips. “Does everyone know how to play?” Everyone nodded in agreement. James decided he would be the dealer then we will take turns after that. 

“Wait, so we have no money, how is this fun to play?” Peter asked, 

“Sirius dont you dare say it!” Alice said 

“Then we play strip poker.” Sirius smirked. Alice, Lilly and Peter’s mouths dropped. I mean i was totally ok with this because i would love to see Remus with no clothes on. After they closed their mouths they surprisingly all agreed to play, “So heres how it works if you lose you have to remove one item of clothing. Lets say someone ties they both win, does everyone understand?” Everyone nodded in agreement. What they dont know is that im actually pretty good at poker. “Oh i also forgot, if you fold at any time you dont have to remove a piece of clothing.” James dealt out the cards and the first round of many began. There was a Queen of Hearts in my hand as well as a 8 of hearts. Not to horrible but wasnt feeling confident. Everyone stayed including myself. James dealt out the first 3 cards. 2 of hearts, 10 of clubs, and 7 of hearts. James looked intrigued so he stayed so did Sirius, Remus and myself. Everyone else folded, James dealt the next card on the river it was a 3 of hearts. I sighed because i wanted them to see i was frustrated which i wasnt. Everyone else stayed no one has even raised yet. James put down the last card, it was a 6 of spades. 

“I’ll check” Remus said 

“I raise to two pieces of clothing.” Sirius smirks. Remus sighs and James starts to tap his fingers on the table. 

“Alright, i see your two pieces of clothing.” James decided. 

“I am actually going to raise to 3 pairs of clothing,” Alice and Lilly lean in. Everyone matches the bet. “Remus you first.”

“Pair of 10′s.” Remus blushes. Sirius laughs and shows his cards.

“ Straight, 2,3,4,5,6.” Remus puts his head on the table in defeat, Peter starts laughing. The girls just are looking intrigued because we can see Remus with three less pieces of clothing. “Ok James your turn.” James hesitantly places is cards down.

“Two pair, 3′s and 7′s.” Sirius clapped thinking he is still the winner, (Y/N) what do you have?” 

“Start stripping boys, Flush!” All the girls cheered. All three of the guys heads were on the table in defeat. The three boys took off their socks and then their shirt.  Alice and Lilly cant help but giggle. I try not to stare at how hot Remus looks without a shirt on. A couple of rounds later this is where we all stood. Remus, Sirius, James and Lilly all had shirts and socks off. I only had my socks off and well Alice and Peter just kept folding. I am now the dealer in this round. After handing out the cards i look at my own hand. Ace of clubs and a King of clubs. This is either going to turn out great or a total shit show. If Remus or Sirius have a good hand they can go all in. I could definitely loose and end up in my bra and underwear if i am not careful. Everyone took a moment to look at their cards. With no surprise Peter, Alice and  also James actually folds for the first time and everyone else checks. I deal out the first 3 cards. Queen of Clubs, Jack of clubs, and a 4 of diamonds. Holy shit, if i get a ten i will have a straight, but if its a 10 of clubs it will be a Royal Flush. Its not rare but not really gonna happen. Everyone still checks as we go to our next card, a 7 of spades. Everyone still checks, i really thought someone would have folded by now at least. We start glaring at eachother, there is one asshole here that probably has absolutely nothing and i think its Lilly. I deal out the last card and its a 10 of clubs! Holy shit i have a Royal Flush. “Im gonna go all in!” i said. Everyone gasped then looked back at their cards seeing if it was really worth it. I know i have the best hand here. Everyone else matches all in. I think they may just want this game to end already. “Ok, we start with Lilly.”

“Pair of twos.” Everyone laughs because you should rarely go all in on a pair of twos. I think she also wanted this game just to be over. 

“Ok Sirius your turn.”

“Ace high card,” Peter almost falls of his chair he was laughing so hard. “Come on i thought u had nothing.” 

“Ok next is Remus.” Remus smirks and looks down at his cards, I try not to laugh because i know i beat him already. 

“I have a Flush.” Sirius slams his head on the table and Lilly sighs. They know they already lost. Everyone then looks at me. I get really excited because i won. 

“Royal Flush.” Everyone's mouths drop as i smile. Remus just stares at me. I finally beat him. Remus just stays in his boxers. “Good game everyone!”

“You said you sucked at poker!” Remus joked. 

“Well Moony i lied.” Everyone laughed at him as i left the room for a minute. I couldnt believe i actually beat Remus at something. I actually left the room because i couldnt stand seeing Remus just in his boxers. He was so hot in just his boxers. I have had a major crush on him for the longest time. Im just to awkward and stubborn to say anything. While trying to find my pjs someone knocked on the door. “Come in?” i said in sort of a question. Remus walked in the door with just his boxers on still. “Oh, hey i was just going to change really quick,” 

“You finally beat me at something, you broke the tie. What would you like Ms, Winner.” I bit my lip as i looked away. All i wanted to say was all i want from you is a kiss. But what if he doesnt like me back? What if it ruins our friendship? “(Y/n)? You ok?” I looked back at him and blushed, I sat on the bed and he sat next to me looking at me waiting for an answer.

“Yeah im fine just thinking what i want.” he smiled. Looking at him, he also looked slightly nervous. “If you beat me what would you have wanted?” He looked back up at me and put a piece of hair behind my ear. He then put his hand on my cheek and kissed me. I froze for a minute, but this is what i wanted as well. I kissed him back feeling how soft his lips were against mine. I could feel the kiss getting deeper, like he wanted more of me. After a minute he stopped and looked at me. “I wanted you” 

“Finally.” I kissed him back on the bed leaning into him more, I straddled him and kissed him harder. i heard him moan and bite my lip. I rocked back and forth into which made him hard. I pulled away from him and took of my shirt. I went back to kissing him and i felt his hands explore my body. He started at my shoulders, then down my chest onto my breasts. He cupped them in his hands. He pulled away from my lips and put his mouth on one of them, I grinded into him more. Him sucking on each one of them, “Ugh Remus,” His hands went back to exploring my body. He ended up near my waist playing with my underwear. He looks back up at me. 

“(Y/N) i have liked you for a long time.” I smiled so big at him. I never thought i would actually hear him say that. 

“Ive liked you since i asked you for an extra quill in potions class.” He laughed remembering that whole day. He flipped me over now he is on top of me. 

“If you want to stop you can.” I shook my head.

“Ive wanted to do this for a long time,” he smiled then continued to explore. He continued where he left off. Remus touched me softly and played at the waist of my underwear. I moaned because i wanted him to keep going. He touched my clit while my underwear was still on. “Please Remus.” He took off my underwear and played with my clit. He rubbed all around it and then put on finger inside of me. He curved up his finger hitting my spot and rubbing circles on my clit, “Oh, fuck that feels so good.” My hands just reached the waist of his underwear as well. He took it off. He looked very nice and hard, I was about to touch him as he slid down with his lips near my opening. He slipped one finger in me and he put his mouth near my clit. He started sucking and biting on it. I couldnt stop moving it felt so good, “Remus i dont want to cum yet,” He looked back at me confused, “I want you.” He smiled. 

“ We dont have to do that tonight love, i like pleasuring you and-” i cut him off by kissing him. He took that as i dont care i really want to fuck you. I flipped him over so i was in control. “I want you.” I smiled. I grabbed his dick and put him inside of me. “Ugh, that feels so good,” he looked up at me as i started to play with my breasts in front of him. “You are so hot.” I then lowered my hands to play with my clit. He fucked  me as his dick got deeper. “Yes just like that faster.” I leaned one hand on the wall as i rode him. “Go on all fours.” I smirked and obeyed, On all fours he put his dick in me again and fucked me so hard, 

“Yes, Remus holy fuck,” He started pumping harder into me. “Ugh i feel it Remus,” 

“Cum baby.” I felt this powerful sensation in me. I was almost there. Then he stopped to tease me. I sighed in frustration, I flipped over, he grabbed my legs and slide me in front of him, I was now laying down and he was standing up by the edge of the bed. He smirked and went inside of me again, He pumped harder into me, rubbing circles on my clit. The feeling i had before quickly came back to me. 

“(Y,N) im gonna cum baby i can feel it.” He starts going faster. 

“Ugh Remus, Fuck, Oh fuck.” I cum all over, i feel so sensitive but it feels so good. 

“ Oh yeah, Ugh,” He pulls out and cums a couple seconds later. We both lay down in the bed together, silent. We look at eachother and smile like we have never smiled before. 

“We just fucked for the first time at James’s house.” We both laughed as we ignored our friends and stayed with eachother for a moment. After awhile we got dressed then walked hand in hand to our friends, They took one look at us and cheered,

Taglist: @rainandhotchocolate @siriuslymarauders

[the-kipsabian]

Pixiefeathers and/or pixietown pls

this is long cause it includes both so throwing it under a read more yay ~

pixiefeathers ~

Who offers their jacket when the other is cold?they both do this tbh? they both come from a rather cold part of the world so they are both used to the cold to some degree, and they always want the other one to be warm if they even as much as mention how cold it is, so yeah

Who giggles uncontrollably when the other playfully picks them up?mads will just scream tbh lol. but shes also so used to getting picked up and carried to places and kit does it all the time so whenever mads manages to do it to them, thats always a surprise tho. so kit

Who compliments the other in front of everyone?both do this honestly, cause they love the other one so much and everything they do and everyone else needs to hear it too so yeAH

Who is more likely to tell the other a pun and what is the other’s reaction to the pun?i feel like im gonna end up saying both to a lot of these lol, but yeah, both. and more often than not when puns are in the play, the other either just super deadpans it, or just freaking loses it. there is no in between no matter the quality or the context of the pun

When one of them has a bad day, what does the other do to help cheer them up?this works very much for both of them, but theres a Fort de Cuddle getting build in the dorm room, they watch whatever they feel like they need that day (ranging from animal videos to their favorite movies and everything in between), theres sweets and cookies and tea and just all around chill times with all their favorite things, just between the two of them

If they got to pick what one another wears for a day, what would one another wear?aaaaah honestly with this pair i dont think they’d change much of anything from what the other normally wears, tbh? their usual clothes, but the others favorite set of them i guess. like ‘oh i love how you look in this shirt pls wear it’ or ‘these pants make your butt look great PLS’ or what have you. that, and just making sure the other one is comfortable in whatever they wear ~

Who introduces their partner to their family first? How does it go?this could be either or really, but i wanna say kit does it first? knowing that their family is small and sparse, they just. kinda wanna do it before it gets even smaller, you know? plus i feel like while kit doesnt have the best relationship with their family, mads really doesnt either, and she would honestly just hold out on the introduction for as long as possible cause ‘hngg no kit you really dont wanna meet them i swear’i’d say it would. probably go as well as you’d expect. especially if anyone says anything bad about kit or dear lord deadnames them, mads WILL fist fight them. she will throw down. no you dont do that you sack of shit, family or not. so... yeah take your pick on how well this interaction goes hmm

In a coffee shop AU, who would be the coffee shop employee and who would be the customer?well i mean we have this already, it kit who works part-time in a coffee shop and mads is the customer (plus bonus fellow co-worker luke who wants these two to date already gdi)

When they sit side by side, do they touch one another? For example, does one person has their arm around the other, do they sit holding hands, or linked arms, ECT.if they are in a place with just the two of them, they cuddle tho. leaning against each others shoulders, just a pile of smol bodies tbh. arms here and there, wherever they decide to land really. around one another if one needs hugsother than that, they just. sit pretty closely by? like, shoulders-glued-together close. they both have their reasons to not be super touchy feely in the public, but for stuff like reassuring the other or just making sure everythings fine and whoever keeps making those eyes at you can fuck off, there is hand holding yay

What is a small thing that one another does to make their partner happy?i mean they do a lot of things (as in anything they can tbh), but one thing they definitely both do is give little gifts like way too often? ‘oh hey i saw this at the mall and i had to get it to you’ ‘hi i know you dont like getting gifs but i got this custom made for you’ ‘you need a break, im gonna pay that coffee for you, lets go’. just little things like that, it doesnt always even need to be anything of monetary value, its really the thought that counts like. every single time with these two

What would they do to celebrate their one year anniversary?i dont honestly think they would do anything really different from what they usually do when they are together? they are both too anxious and exhausted to really go out to celebrate in a big manner, and they want it to be more of a private thing tbh. so like. its probably gonna be a pizza party with fave movies and as many strays as luke is willing to bring to the room at once

When did they know that loved each other, and when did they first tell each other that they loved one another?i mean. as love love its. a complicated thing. but the ‘i love you’ has been honestly thrown around since a very early stage of their friendship? ofc at first as a friendly gesture, but its not like they are afraid to say it tho. as to when they first told each other, i feel like no matter the route (as in if its rival roommates or not), its after the first tournament when its first thrown around. its like a heat of the moment thing, you know?as for loving one another uuuuuuuuh. i mean as a demi mads goes through some heavier shit and kit helps her through all that and shes like ‘oh heck i like you’ which eventually turns into ‘hecK I LOVE YOU’ and well. kit is aro so mmmm

Who likes to give the other hugs from behind followed by a kiss?i wanna say they both do this? ofc after verifying with the other that its okay tho! as pda isnt comfy for everyone woo

Who would make a playlist for the other person? What would be featured on the playlist?i wanna say kit? they would probably be more confident of pulling a list together knowing that mads will love literally everything, while mads knows what kit listens to but isnt. super confident in putting together something that they would like? if she does this tho, she asks help from luke. or nate if hes involved in this timeline lol

Who would bring their partner on a romantic date under the stars?kit. mads might be the more romantic of the two, but she doesnt want to force any of that on kit cause boundaries are important. but kit knows that mads is a sucker for this stuff (also it lights up their heart when she goes ‘oh my god this is like one of my fanfictions’ whenever they do something like this) and tries to expand their horizons by doing this stuff they arent so familiar with, but they know their gf likes tho

~~~~~~

pixietown ~

Who offers their jacket when the other is cold?luke, definitely. first of all, mads’ jacket doesnt fit him lol, and luke is a gentleman aaaaaa

Who giggles uncontrollably when the other playfully picks them up?well i mean. the day mads manages to pick luke up is probably the day she dies tbh. tho mads doesnt giggle. she yells. she fucking yells luke put her down pls she didnt asked to be picked up

Who compliments the other in front of everyone?luke. definitely luke. mads would yell and scream about his music stuff tbh, but luke does like. ALL THE COMPLIMENTS. just look at his cute gf he aint gonna hide the love yo

Who is more likely to tell the other a pun and what is the other’s reaction to the pun?just straight up luke tbh. depending on the quality of the pun, mads either throws one back at him, or just deadpans him. most days its the second one tho

When one of them has a bad day, what does the other do to help cheer them up?its usually mads with the bad days tbh, and luke knows theres two ways to fix it - play her songs, and bring kitties

If they got to pick what one another wears for a day, what would one another wear?if mads gets to pick, luke is gonna wear his d&d gear (assuming she knows about it). luke is gonna make her dress as arielle the mermaid princess

Who introduces their partner to their family first? How does it go?luuuuuuuuke. like mentioned above, mads isnt. really comfortable with the idea tbh mmmmand yeah i’d say it goes pretty well in the end? like i have no doubt that lukes parents are nice people and luke holding mads close to a princess level in his eyes yyyeeeah thats gonna go through really well lol

In a coffee shop AU, who would be the coffee shop employee and who would be the customer?same as before, luke is the employee and mads is the customer ~

When they sit side by side, do they touch one another? For example, does one person has their arm around the other, do they sit holding hands, or linked arms, ECT.i really wanna say luke just. has restless hands lol. not in like a dirty manner, but he needs to be holding something at all times - and most of the time it happens to be mads, so his arms are constantly around her given the chance. and mads just takes it and leans into his shoulder cause hes soft and warm and yay

What is a small thing that one another does to make their partner happy?mads leaves luke little love notes wherever she can. luke sends her custom playlists and makes her mix tapes

What would they do to celebrate their one year anniversary?recreate their first date? also depending if mads knows about what lukes original plan was to woo her (with the stalker angle), hes gonna lay it all down on the table as a goof, cause hey, she kinda deserves to learn it after theyve been dating for a year, you know?

When did they know that loved each other, and when did they first tell each other that they loved one another?i feel like luke throws it out first tbh. he works out his feelings faster than mads (also cause mads is probably. more thinking it just as a stupid crush cause ugh hes a cute nice musician i love him so much on the aesthetic level, you know), and those feels make themselves very clear after he starts working on really wooing her after kit gives him an earful about his ways lol. mads comes afterwards, when luke starts building all this up to the love letter confession, and she realizes that damn i have real feels for this boio, lemme show it to him. and as the saying it. mmmm after she is officially initiated to hidden block? like ‘oh my god im so happy youre here now ily’ ‘wait luke yOU WHAT’ ‘..i love you?’ cue internal screaming cause he means it

Who likes to give the other hugs from behind followed by a kiss?luke. shouldnt be too much of a surprise lol

Who would make a playlist for the other person? What would be featured on the playlist?this isnt really a surprise either, its definitely luke. he puts together mads’ favorite songs, some of his own songs, and combination of the two aka some covers hes been recording of her fave songs

Who would bring their partner on a romantic date under the stars?luke, once again. he knows romance is a weak point for mads, and he wants to deliver with that ~

[onlyjihoons]

demon!jihoon

a/n; very much inspired by jihoon's demonic lenses he wore here?? and this prompt!i would also like to thank @hwinkinghwi for the demonic(?) moodboard hehe,,,happy early halloween!

jihoon is one of the most cunning demons

he would actually use his ungodly looks to his advantage to get his way

almost everything his goddamn face will make people give in/compromise

sometimes he uses his evil to help kids out

like, he sees a kid being bullied at a playground or something, he would give retribution by shoving sand down the bully's shirt??

(i have no idea how demons work so please spare me)

but other than that jihoon is pretty cynical

when he disguises himself as a mortal, he looks normal, until you look at his eyes,,,

theyre a light blue

they arent even contacts, like theyre just his eye colour

people just believe his lie that those are prescription contacts LOL

jihoon is being notorious for the senior who uses his looks to get through anything and everything

but not his grades lmao

so he's two years older than the kids taking their college entrance exam

basically he just wasted 2 years of his life in school

but he just wants to live off fellow demon!seongwoo,, so he just, doesnt study and goes to school

but seongwoo found out about it,, and made sure jihoon spends his legit last year in high school or jihoon would be ugly in his next life LOL

you're a senior in high school, trying to make the best out of your dying grades

you do know jihoon, but avoid communication as you're an angel

like legit,, angel

you were an angel thanks to your mother, who was involved in the heaven

and she wanted you to live a sin-free life as much as possible

ok now back to avoiding jihoon

why avoid communication?

for a simple reason;

you had a crush on him

and the rule of thumb your mother bestowed upon you was

"you can date anyone but demons"

and you were well aware jihoon was a demon, as your halo(which was invisible to the eyes of mortals) were blinking whenever jihoon would be near you

and you just didnt like the idea of dating a handsome asshole

fun fact: jihoon used to be an angel until he was involved in the 101, which made him evil

you knew jihoon relatively well due to the fact he used to be an angel

he was your childhood friend

always protecting you and looking out for you

your crush on him developed even before he became a demon, and didnt falter even when he wasnt a angel

but the both of you grew distant as your mother would warn you not to play with fire

you were taking a media studies elective as a subject and there was a coursework you had to do

which involved acting w a partner of the opposite gender

and to your luck, jihoon was the only student in the class who took media studies

not knowing anything between the both of you, your teacher assigned the both of you as partners LOL

to make things worse, the story was

romeo and juliet

how ironic lmaoooo

meaning, you had to kiss jihoon

or rather, jihoon had to kiss you

because your teacher chose the last scene, which had the least lines, for the both of you to "ensure your distinctions"

and the both of you just had to bite the bullet and take it because you'd want to graduate from school quickly and attempt to wash the sins of kissing jihoon away by doing more good things in college

while jihoon just wanted to get this thing done and over with

you told your mom about it, she was okay with it, but she still warned you not to fall for jihoon

though, your dad is a demonxangel

its a given that you and jihoon had to stay after school to run through the script

and every time you and jihoon renact the last scene, your breath hitches in your throat and you hiccup

or on days where you just burst out laughing and accidentally spit on jihoon

he actually wasnt that mad about it because 1. he knew how hard it was to keep one's composure in a kiss scene WITH THEIR CRUSH

2. he just thought you were cute

despite jihoon not kissing you for practices

which you were thankful for or else you cant sleep at night

until,,, the day of the assesment

everything went fairly smoothly, and the dreaded kiss of life was very soon approaching you

you thought jihoon wouldnt kiss you like he did in practices

bitch you thought

he kissed you on the lips and you were trying your best not to shoot your eyes open in shock

and of course,, the kiss of life received a standing ovation from the teachers who were really impressed

because most students dont actually kiss lmao

so you had to drag jihoon aside after yhe assesment and he had that stupid smile on his face

"cant you see i like you???"

you were stunned and also happy

but you had to keep your promis to your mom

"im sorry jihoon, i cant be your girlfriend"

boy he was shocked because he was never rejected

"why?"

"because," you bit your lip, contemplating wheter to tell jihoon

"because??"

"angels and demons cant be together," was all you said before leaving jihoon hanging

you and jihoon never talked until,,, halloween

which, you decided to go as yourself to your friend's halloween party at universal studios

you wore a plain white dress,, and wore a halo headband

pretty basic and simple but you really didnt care and just tried to dress nicely

apparently her parents rented the whole theme park for a private party lol

your friend was asking why you didnt bring jihoon along as your "plus one"

and you just shrugged,

"shit happened and we arent really talking anymore"

she got the hint immediately and stopped mentioning jihoon

meanwhile, jihoon was also dressed as himself

his hair was dyed a lighter blonde and wore a v neck black button up w ripped jeans,,,,,, and wore a choker on his neck too

basically all-black and looking good as heck

when he arrived every girl turned their heads and were shookt

like he barely needed to do anything to look THAT good

"a demon" was what he replied,, but he was laughing inside as people dont know his real identity

he was just enjoying the atmosphere of halloween where people dressed up and didnt care if their make up was shit,, its halloween anyway

he was just chilling and walking around w fellow demon!baejin when he saw someone carrying a girl in a white dress,,,

and that girl in a white dress seemed too familiar...

that when it clicked and he had to abandon baejin to save you

when he stopped the figure holding you, he ripped off its mask and revealed someone he wouldnt expect

lai guanlin

"guanlin, what are you doing?"

"i..i can explain--"

"explain what? drugging y/n and bringing her somewhere to hurt her?!" 

at this point jihoon was really really angry, his irises turned red

"who made you do this?”

“i can’t tell you--”

“im severing all ties with you if you dont tell me.”

“okay okay! seongwoo-hyung made me do it,, he just wanted to mess with you. nothing poisonous was fed to y/n! i swear!”

jihoon could only sigh and roll his eyes, as he motioned guanlin to come closer to him

and when he did, he twisted guanlin’s ear, making the younger groan in pain,,, while still holding onto you LOL

“help seongwoo-hyung again and not only your ears would be red,” jihoon snapped, as guanlin helped to load you on jihoon’s back

jihoon was contemplating where to bring you to,,, in this state where you were fast asleep

he decided to bring you back to your home

of course, with you on his back was pretty crazy

people were staring at him, thinking that he got a girl drunk lmao

but some people were noticing how cute he was and he’d just blush and try to hide his face??

meanwhile you were still sleeping, and jihoon made your head lean on his shoulder

and it was quite a scene bc a literal angel leaning on a literal demon’s shoulders??? p sadistic but cute at the same time

he knew the exact route to your house because it was almost like muscle memory,, he always came over to your house during the weekends when the both of you were childhood friends

when jihoon knocked on the door he was pretty nervous to how your mom would react

“y/n youre--jihoon?”

“sorry you have to see this, but y/n got drugged by someone... i saw her and i had to save her”

“ah, i see...” your mom was weirdly happy that no one but jihoon saved you??

“her room is the last bedroom to the right...” your mom pointed, “i think you should stay over, it’s quite late.”

“but i don’t have any clothes...” jihoon smiled nervously 

tbh how is he not tired after holding you for so long;)

“its fine! daniel has some clothes he cant wear anymore, you can use those.”

casually slips in olderbrother!daniel

jihoon was reminded of the times where your mom would take care of him p well, he was so touched that her heart didnt change over the years despite being a demon himself

“thank you mrs y/l/n, please rest early too!”

thats when your mom muttered something about him calling her mom

“excuse me?”

“yeah i will sleep soon, when daniel comes home.”

as jihoon entered your room, it was clean, and like a typical teenage girl’s room, with fairy lights and wall decorated with polariod pictures

after he settled you on your bed, he looked around your room and spotted a picture of the both of you amidst all the polariods

it was the both of you during your freshman year,, he took you to smoothie king because you were having a bad day

he smiled, but then sighed at the thought that your mother didnt allow you to date demons

but she was liking him so much she wanted yall to get married right there

all he could do was kiss your forehead and ruffle your hair

when he was about to leave he felt something tugging on his arm

“don’t go...” 

you were sleeptalking lmao

jihoon hence slept at the side on your bed, while holding your hand

the next morning, you woke up to a weight on your hand, and you saw a blonde head 

you were surprised so you screamed

and you woke jihoon in the process

“w-what”

“what are you doing here?”

“well...” jihoon scratched his head sheepishly 

“...”

“what-- y/n! i know im a demon but no, i would never do that”

“then?! what are you doing here, in my room, in your...outfit”

“because you told me to stay??” jihoon raised his eyebrows

shit he heard that, you cursed internally

“but thank you for saving me.” you blushed

“that’s it?” jihoon smirked, “no thank you kiss?”

“what?why?”

“because you are mine.”

shit i cringed so hard but smth jihoon would say tbh

“but my mom--”

he then interrupted your words with a kiss, which worked

“i can bet you my life saving that she is peeping at us right now,” jihoon whispered

and yes she was, peeking at the both of you and you could see her punching the air in victory

dating demon!jihoon is just like dating a huge fluffball

and takes revenges on your behalf if anyone dares to hurt/offend you

but sometimes hes hella r u d e 

like randomly flipping his hair and winking

and whenever he trips,,

“i think i fell for you”

like p l e a s e  s t o p

still has the innocence in him despite being a demon

like lighting up in front of candy

and buying you stuff in a non-evil way

your mother openly supports your relationship with jihoon

like 

“yes yall my son in law is jihoon,, isnt he handsome??”

and you had to shut her up everytime she starts talking about jihoon

sometimes you wonder if she forgot that youre her child and not jihoon

overall, a relationship most wouldn’t expect but still ship together

[formalsocks]

mulch and some soil

mulch summary: the sensation of the empty pits scattered around your body feel as though they are currently eating away everything on the inside, you are just waiting for them to eventually eat you whole the pain can fool you into believing that you are completely empty, everything inside of you has been eaten, everything is numb and you will eventually have nothing left but outer skin, completely hollow, no thoughts you are aware this doesnt make sense and is not normal to feel this way but can not stop feeling the pain anyway and thinking what you think of when you are thinking about yourself or you see yourself in a mirror every thing is in your head. the pain you are feeling is not physical. it is emotional. very few feel "physical pain" when it is actually their brain but thats only when they are really upset where they start hurting in the inside because they have too many emotions and they have to have somewhere to go if thier head is too.full ......................................................................... .soil brain. they seem kind and caring. saying they care about you and dont make fun of you when you say weird things to them. they are perfectly normal, they have all feelings and do not feel hollow or numb and they do not think their organs are being swallowed by a black hole that eats your insides because you are the only one who feels like that and made it a fake disease because you are the only one who feels like they are being eaten from the insideby a black hole (not all the time, but will happen) they are aware that you are in pain and cant feel certain emotions because they are blocked (you do not know how to unblock them you are also unsure if you have ever been able to feel certain emotions and maybe you were just born incapable of feeling them or they are locked away from yourself) (defense mechanism? maybe). side note:this type of brain in a person is perfect for helping mulch brains but they are rare and if you find them cherish them and be really good to them .brains. .their brain. their minds were made from the richest soil, very beautiful flowers that smelled like good memories (block parties,snow,your dad when you hug him after he says he loves you) covered their brain, bragging how healthy and whole they are and they dont feel hollow at all. among the soil also grows the really lush soft grass that is natures blanket and twinkles in the sun because it is such a pretty green. a new couple are on their third or fourth date eating strawberries and also eating watermelon straight from the melon with two spoons (cut in half and sharing both halves), the guy drops his spoon (it gets dirty) and blushed when she feeds him with her spoon, they both blush and look away to hide their smile. this part is cute and they will look back on it when they part ways and smile and blush at the thought of it, both of them wonder if the other one saw them blush and the answer is yes they both saw it they will remember this moment for a while. and the girl is wearing a white sun dress that she wore on purpose because the last time she wore it the guy said she looked like the prettiest girl in school. the guy remembers he said this and hides his smile when he thinks maybe she wore it for him (she did) but he has low self confidence and thinks he likes her more than she likes him so he thinks that she wouldnt do that for him but he secretly pretends that it is true (it is)) with mary janes she is very cute and has lots of freckles and light brown eyes, the ones that have gold flecks in them. and the boy is wearing a yellow shirt, (you can decide if he is wearing shorts or jeans (if jeans, light blue/paint splatters (accidental) if shorts, maybe cool plaid ones his dad had when he was 17 that he found in attic) he has bright red vans on with blue writing scribbled across the side of the shoe (right one) but you cant make out what it says but i will say that it is one of his favorite album titles (he also has good music taste so it is a cool album) this is how nice their brain is they are naturally beatiful and have the perfect balance and perfect thinking process and have very few problems and for the most part they are happy. .your brain. your brain is covered in damp brown/orange mulch and has no crops or flowers in it. the mulch on your brain never dries so even if you had seeds to plant, it would be too much moisture and they would never grow. you cant remember when your crops and/or flowers died, or if you ever even had them. (you think the ugly colored mulch suits you well because you also feel ugly and gross like mulch but you wish you had nice soil like they do) you dont remember much of your childhood. you know something happened and it made you very upset and made you not understand lots of things and made you forget what happened that night when you became older because thats how much you didnt like it and your mind made you forget it on its own so you didnt even mean to do it. you remember bits and pieces but you are also missing the most important parts of the event so you dont know exactly what happened. you also think this event is partialy responsible for having damp mulch and no flowers or crops growing from your brain and making up a disease that isnt real that you also diagnosed yourself with even though it is not real and the pain of your insides being eaten by black holes is very irrational and doesnt actually happen to you it just feels like it is sometimes. you also only remember your life with the person who you saw do something bad *after* that certain event. you remember mostly everything about your kid years but for the ones who were involved in the bad memory you cant remember 1 single moment you had with them and if you have a memory and they are in it you only see them as a figure of static, the one that looks like a lot of ants spinning very fast and also running around (you think ants are cool because they are very small and cute but can like like 30× their weight). you can make out their body shape and you know it is them but you cant hear what they are saying. you also think this is why you hate mirrors and cant tell what you look like because something broke at some point and your eyes dont work but only when you look at your self but when you are looking at anything and anyone else you have 20/20 vision and you think this is weird but you have grown used to it because you dont remember how you looked at yourself when you didnt have this problem so it is now normal for you but also upsetting because you cant tell if you are fat on the day you look in the mirror or your eyes just do that because you used to be fat and dont think you changed from your kid self and that is scary because as a kid you were very ugly and fat. you sometimes think this is for the better because in the mirror you dont look right and your face is mixed up and if you knew what you looked like all the time you would be very sad about it because you at least know you look bad to some degree if your brain is also hiding what you look like from yourself. (brains do this when something is too upsetting to see or remember something you really dont like and cant hanlde). so it may be better off not knowing. you are also someone who tries to be postitive so you consider this a good thing overall-. (you try to be positive but you can be really negative because when you are upset about something you cant change all you can do is complain and that is a 1 very negative thing to do. you should stop doing that) -because you dont have flowers or crops and have mulch for a brain and most people have okay soil,average soil,and,very good soil for brains and mulch is the worst one you can have bc its shitty for crops (thoughts and emotions) and is ugly and also damp, doesnt dry, and has an ugly color and is made out of things that look ugly in large amounts (most mulch is in a large amount). you think you cant process things and cant access lots of emotions but when you do you care about something too much you can ruin it. or care about somebody too much and it scares them and you lose them forever and they also wont like you how you like them and then you get sad but understand bc you know exactly why they dont see you like that but its still upsetting so you swear off of liking someone but you end up doing it anyway bc you cant help it it is quite the cycle) you are also scared all the time because every second you look different and you dont know what you look like not including the seconds you look in the mirror and not knowing that is scary because the thought of people thinking you are gross to look at also makes you feel gross about yourself. you also constantly say you have to go to the bathroom but you go to see what you look like and when you are hanging out with someone and dont want to seem like you are checking yourself out so you dont look in the mirror and then yiu cant make eye contact after 30 min bc you dont know what you look like and cant risk it) people stare at you and you say it is because of the clothes you are wearing because you wear weird clothes that arent feminine (if you are a girl) or masculine (if you are a boy) (you also dont care if you wear boy clothes if youre a girl and girl clothes if youre a boy because that is really stupid and people should wear what they like which is what you do and you really think you look cool and portraying a fun personality but when other people think you are weird you feel like you are weird and that makes you want to hide and leave when no one is watching and go home to put pjs on because pjs are comofortable and people dont judge them usually even though you are at home and no one is even there to judge you but your parents (siblings if you have them theyre probably mean if they judge you tho)and they judge when you are dressed too boyish (if you are a girl) and dressed too girlish (if you are a boy)). you wish your brain knew what was okay to wear and do and how to act but a lot of things, again, it doesnt work in your brain like they should so you dont know but what does work well a little tok well is awareness and paranoia and you are aware of people looking at you and paranoia is when you are worried and want to know why people are looking at you so you can change whatever youre doing to something normal and if it is because you are ugly you are going to be tempted to do a big change to try to change your face as soon as you are alone and you will examine your face to try to make it out but it looks different everyday and in different mirrors and cameras so you get upset at this and go to stress eat but then stop because you already ate granola earlier and dont want to get fat again bc that would suck (what to change when you are questioning your appearance: eyebrows, style of eye makeup that creates an illusion of a different eye.shape because your eye shape is weird, hair? color and/or cut but some are not allowed to dye their hair like this author but wouldnt anyway because they like how soft is it and it never ever tangles whihc is super nice) and then you will ask if this will actually mask your bad facial features and it wont so you give up and lay in bed and dont turn the lights on for a while because light can show way too much of your face and all the imperfections that you cant see in the dark (not necessarily pitch black but you have to be careful because so lighting can be low light but then adds shadows excentuating the shape of your features (good example: big nose). this what you would be like if you had a mulch brain. this was to see if you think the same things as the author of this or if this author is the only person in the world who has a mulch brain. main qualities of a mulch brain: doesnt know how to feel about things and the process of understanding something very serious is non existant 3/4s of the time you can not tell what you look like but you know it is bad and people dont want to look at you so you feel like you have to apologize for them seeing you but then you would sound like you are fishing for compliments and that makes people uncomfortable (also be careful about how much you talk about something you dont like about your self ppl can also be uncomfortable by the fact you are openly talking about something that is not something too discuss so openly especially if you are graphic i.e. "skinning my face would look better than my normal face" the author has said this and didnt actually mean it because skinning your face would be gross looking but you think about it sometimes bc you would get rid of all the bad parts and that would be cool but your face will also....be skinned. in conclusion the person this was said to got uncomfortable and was laughing before ithe author said it and the girl immediately stopped laughing and stared. (this is not fun) something bad happened in your younger years you 1.cant remember well or 2.you remember it too well where you think about it all the time and it still upsets you a long time after it happened and there is no threat against you but you are still scared you remember literally nothing important or what happened but you remember something extremely insignificant but also very detailed for ex. the color of your parents bed sheets the night it happened and exactly what you said to your sister when you went to hide in your sisters room and remember the amount of times the two sisters called their father until he picked up you ruin lots of relationships you dont want to but yea you love your sister like, a lot, if you dont have a sister you love your brother and if you have no siblings maybe you cherish something that has always been around? trying to list something for everyone ex. dog. stuffed animal. toy. you are probably ugly (i think this is listed but needs to be stressed) you like horror movies and gore but you would not and will not ever hurt anyone because that is terrible and is one of the worst things you can do but since you look weird and like horror you think ppl think you are scary and it is very likely tho do think you are scary and dangerous but you are not at all and you also threw up and cried when you were 16 bc u stepped on a frog and killed it side note: vowed to not eat anything for a day if i kill another animal you love animals you like alex g (you are even more of a mulch brain if you love him and know all of his songs) (and also is honest about his two new songs bobby and witch and dont just say theyre good because its by alex g but giving an honest opinion on it its is more of a real fan thing to do) you try to be nice to everyone but assume ppl think you are boring and if they have similar style and they try to be friends w u bc they also dress the same and like the same music but you cant carry on convos bc u get nervous and that makes u boring so they stop trying to be your friend and probably think they are similar to me but cant start a friendship if they cant talk to you unless they are drunk (let me be specific: smashed drunk. normal drunk still makes you nervous) you think your friends are mad at you all the time except for the super nice ones because they are understanding and actually love you because they are really good people and it is shitty you compare them to super nice ones to the other ones who can sometimes be mean and you feel bad about it bc they are both your friends even if one can be a little mean. you like giving gifts a lot you cant tell if youre fat or not sometimes lights make you dizzy for thinking about what you look like in that light setting and also bc lights can be fuckin bright and give you insane eye and head migraines you are actually a secret romantic but have little to no experience w anyone except when you have been dr*nk and didnt care about being bad at kissing and you want to do it sober but worried youll be bad but also hoping the person you like wont care and think it is cute (hopefully you would like someone nice where they wouldnt make fun of you for it and they are understanding because if you are kissing them sober and also have a mulch brain they probably already know about you and what insecurities you have) you are funny online sometimes and you will say the same exact joke in person that ppl laughed at but they go quiet bc they dont know how to respond and then you wish you didnt say it youve only.truly liked three people for their personalities *and* looks you are the one typing this (not a requirement)