#but she DID write Risley well

[cosmic-walkers]

after seeing that amazing edit...I can't ever stop thinking about Wriothesely and the complexities of his character. From his prior loyalty to Thomas to his eventual loss of devotion to him, whether it be out of fear, lust for power, or both - but his unquestionable loyalty to Stephen at the very end of things. One thing I appreciate is that, in the show , Risley tried many times to help Thomas, trying to get him to make a move against his enemies (Norfolk), trying to warn him of potential threats. There were even instances where we knew Risley was probably talking to Stephen, and he still attempted to steer Thomas in the right direction but just realized he was too stubborn. Then Risley betrayed Thomas and Gregory, which negated all his good qualities unfortunately.

I don't think what Risley did to Thomas at the end of the day was right, by any means, but what I do think is that he is such a nuanced, and complicated character. and i love characters like him.

It would've been so much easier if he hated Thomas and the Cromwells, if he was planning to betray them from the very beginning but that isn't the reality. He loved them, he saw them as his own family, he enjoyed being around them and being in their presence. His heart absolutely ached for what happened to Thomas, despite being the most instrumental person in his master's downfall. It was Risley's confession - that i don't believe was actually in the show - that really pushed Thomas to be executed.

And then there is the other hand, where even in the books there is a power play between Thomas and Stephen when it comes to Risley. They both want him, they both want to use him for their own ambition, they both want to show him off to the other just to say' I have him and you don't.' One of Thomas's main reasons in the books for having Risley close, was to spite Stephen.

And then you have these instances where, as much as Risley loves the Cromwells, he questions his place in their lives. Richard and Rafe outwardly talk down on him, Richard calls him an idiot, Rafe never liked him to begin with. He mentions how Thomas laughed at him when he suggested something and you can tell he questions if this family really accepts him, or not. Or if he is just another example of a man of 'noble' birth that Thomas parades around to show that he can.

So many complexities in Risley - even down to his attire. I was never sure if it was cheetah or jaguar or leopard clothing but the point is, those are both ambush and solidarity predators. They don't fit well in groups, especially the males; they will fight and kill, and they will ambush. I always saw Risley as a person who tried to fit in with the Cromwells but realized at the end, he never had a place, so his next logical step was simply an ambush.

Another animal, at least I find him comparable to is the snake that Thomas many times references in the books. Not just the snake, but the poison that eventually catches up to Thomas. Thomas spoke about how he was bitten by a snake in Italy, but it didn't kill him, but he never knew if it was poisonous or not. However, after that, he would consistently get ill, and it was implied that the poison was killing him slowly he just didn't know when. There was something about Risley being there, like the poison festering from the snake wound, slowly undoing the Cromwell house hold, slowly sinking his fangs into the stability and that family that let him in, and then eventually, destroying them.

[goodqueenaly]

Fire and Blood Volume 1: Under the Regents: War and Peace and Cattle Shows

More F&B coverage! Slowly getting to the end

Something I find very odd about this whole chapter - and it starts right away - is Gyldayn’s tone when talking about Unwin Peake. We’re supposed to think of Unwin as a villain in Aegon III's story, I believe - the graspingly ambitious lord (from a family of narrative heels) who would stop at nothing, even murder and treason, to obtain power and secure the dominance of himself and his family. This chapter starts that way, with Aegon III having made his wishes about his Kingsguard and council known before Unwin Peake stepped in to seize those positions for his own family members and allies, dismissing the will of the king as neither Cregan Stark nor Tyland Lannister had done. At the same time, though, there is a strange sense of pro-Unwin/pro-Peake language being used by Gyldayn. The maester-author spends a whole paragraph praising the history of House Peake (going so far as to call Unwin’s ancestors “legends” and stating that Lorimar Peake had “humbled” the “overweening” Manderlys) and another demonstrating that Unwin was determined to restore the former greatness of his "proud house"; too, when Gyldayn is talking about Unwin’s time with the Caltrops, he mentions that Unwin’s hope to lead the green forces after Ormund Hightower's death was “denied him by scheming rival”. I don’t know whether this is a case of Gyldayn’s sexism and misogyny nicely lining up with Unwin’s, or GRRM not realizing that he was writing so positively about this ostensible villain, or something else.

We get a few new details about the Caltrops membership: an unnamed Lord Leygood, Ser Victor Risley (confusingly, he’s referred to as the “Knight of Risley Glade”, but a “Lord Risley” was married to Lord Butterwell’s daughter, so either the Risleys did better for themselves in the century after the Dance or this is a retcon by GRRM), and George Graceford, Lord of Holyhall. Wonder why GRRM finally decided to give his own name to a character, especially a notorious torturer - maybe it’s a bit of self-humor.

Very interesting to me that Unwin’s aunt (at least, perhaps, one of them) was Clarice Osgrey; my assumption, though this might be wrong, was that she was a Peake by birth who wed a Lord Osgrey. That Gyldayn lists the Osgreys right alongside the Redwynes, Rowans, Costaynes, Oakhearts, Florents, and Hightowers as families the Peakes married into suggests a certain level of - perhaps not grandeur, at least by this point, but certainly some standing, especially within the Reach. Ser Eustace stated in “The Sworn Sword” that the Osgreys had lost Coldmoat during the reign of Maegor (something “Sons of the Dragon” frustratingly did not verify), but the Osgreys may have still had three of the “four castles” Ser Eustace mentioned (which may or may not have included the family holdings at Leafy Lake), so even for vassals of vassals, they were probably doing pretty well for themselves at this time. I like to think that the Osgreys sided with their Peake kinsmen and declared for the greens during the Dance, and that when the black-supporting Rowans (presumably the Osgrey overlord at this point too) came into power during the early regency, the Osgreys suffered as a result.

Gareth Long is doubtless supposed to remind us of Alliser Thorne and Randyll Tarly, though given that I’ve called Jaehaerys’ treatment of his own son Vaegon “Randyll Tarly Lite”, I'm not sure that the villainy comes off quite as strongly as GRRM maybe wants it to do.

Very curious that Unwin Peake had Orphan-Maker in his possession at this time. Did the Roxtons care? Did Unwin and his descendants hold onto it after the regency? Could we possibly see it with Young Aegon and the Golden Company, if any Peakes took it into exile following any of the Blackfyre Rebellions (or if the Peakes end up declaring for Aegon from Starpike)?

Speaking of Randyll Tarly, seems Unwin Peake took a page out of his book, punishing “two pox-ridden whores” “in unspeakable ways” for the crime of “passing the pox to dozens of men”. So glad the misogyny isn't done yet (sarcasm heavier than a ton of bricks).

I wonder if Alyn named the Queen Rhaenys himself, or if this was an existing ship in the Velaryon fleet. Either way, this could have simply been in honor of the first Queen Rhaenys, from whom all the royal Targaryens (and those Targaryen-line individuals of other Houses) claim descent, but I like the possible implications if either Corlys or Alyn named this ship. For Corlys, of course, this could have been a rather unsubtle reference to his wife, Rhaenys “the Queen Who Never Was” - a woman with a very colorable (but ultimately unrealized) claim to the throne, through whom (and whose children) Corlys hoped to channel his royal ambitions. But Alyn too might have been thinking of the Queen Who Never Was when he named the Queen Rhaenys (if he did). After all, his official story was that he was the son of Laenor, and so the only male-line grandson of Princess Rhaenys; any child of his would, at least officially, be the rightful inheritor of Rhaenys’ claim to the throne. Even if Alyn was in truth not a descendant of Rhaenys, there was certainly no doubt that his wife was: as the elder daughter of Laena, Baela was the more senior of the only remaining legitimate descendants of Princess Rhaenys. With the royal succession after Aegon III already in debate, clever and ambitious Alyn might have thought to remind everyone that his children by Baela had a very strong royal claim: on both sides (officially, at least), those children would be the heirs of the Queen Who Never Was.

Also I wonder if cousin Daeron Velaryon named the True Heart as a pun on the name of his wife, Hazel Harte. (Hey, it was a good enough pun for Henry VIII.)

You know, again, for all that Unwin Peake is definitely a villain of this chapter (and the regency more generally), I’m not totally opposed to his fury at Alyn Velaryon. Sure, Alyn won a glorious naval battle and came across as the dashing admiral, hero of the hour ... but Gyldayn isn’t wrong when he points out that what Alyn won for the Iron Throne, with his captured ships and elephant, was the enmity of the richest, most powerful, and - most importantly - most navally fearsome of the Free Cities. 

I am not at all here for the way Jaehaera's murder - and let's call it what it was, murder - is described by Gyldayn. As much as Gyldayn is willing to admit that the only plausible suspect was Unwin, he will not commit to the suggestion. Gyldayn has to throw up a bunch of other suggestions (including that Jaehaera killed herself, possibly out of jealousy of Baela’s pregnancy - despite the fact that she was all of 10); he has to distance Unwin from the “real” possible culprits, Mervyn Flowers and Tessario the Tiger (calling Mervyn a monster for potentially having thrown Jaehaera out the window, not bothering to consider that the man who ordered him to do so would be just as much of a monster); and he has to preface his thoughts with statements like “there is no shred of proof” that Jaehaera was murdered and that any speculation on Tessario's involvement “is all fancy”. My question is, why? Compare this to the description we get from Yandel of the deaths of Elia and her children during the Sack of King's Landing. We know from the main novels that Tywin, Gregor, and Amory Lorch were responsible for those murders, but Yandel won't commit to that suggestion, for obvious reasons: eager to see his work of history gain royal favor and patronage, Yandel is very clearly willing to alter and excise portions of history to get in good with the Baratheon-Lannister regime. But with Gyldayn, I really don't understand it. I can only ascribe this to the aforementioned fondness with which Gyldayn speaks of Unwin Peake, but it's still very strange.

Talked about the unnamed Lady Peake here, and yes, I'm still furious about it. (I'm not any happier at the fact that none of Unwin’s wives are named or have any identity other than bearing Unwin's children.)

Oh god the Maiden’s Day Cattle Show. It's so sexual, and I hate it so much. WHY IS IT SO SEXUAL? WHY MUST IT BE SO SEXUAL ABOUT LITERAL CHILDREN? It's not that I don't see why this is happening - of course every ambitious family in Westeros would want to see its daughter made queen. But the tone Gyldayn uses is so - well, gross is the word that comes to mind.

(My thoughts on the historical influence on the "cattle show" name here, and no, I'm not pleased at the dehumanizing name.)

Like, I'm so incredibly deeply uncomfortable at the fact that the word “nubile” is used three separate times when there are literally prepubescent girls being pushed forward as Aegon’s potential future queen. I'm so, so disturbed and uncomfortable at the idea of Mushroom relishing the idea of parading these LITERAL CHILDREN naked. Daenaera Velaryon (I’ll get to her in a minute) was six, Anya Weatherwax seven, Falena Stokeworth eight, and I’d bet they weren't the only prepubescent girls there - are these the "nubile maidens" whom Mushroom is dreaming about undressing?

Also, Gyldayn can't just sexualize children, he has to marry sexualization to female jealousy, because that’s just so positive. Gyldayn doesn't even consider whether Tyshara was telling the truth and might have been raped; it only matters that the rumor being true meant that she was no longer a virgin fit to marry the king. Elinor Massey’s sexual experience has to be talked up constantly as a point of disqualification. The same-sex relationships of the “three Jeynes” are used exclusively to undermine their potential to marry Aegon. Cassandra Baratheon tried to undermine her sister's chances by spreading a rumor that Ellyn asked the king about her breasts (and keep in mind, Ellyn was probably only in her early teens at the most here). Gyldayn spends so much time talking about these rumors that, as with the Coryanne Wylde shit, I can't imagine that this was done out of reluctant historical necessity.

ALSO, let's talk about how Daenaera Velaryon is described, because jeez man. When I read this I just want to shout this from the rooftops: Daenaera Velaryon was SIX. When Gyldayn writes that she was “so beautiful she took the breath away”, remember that he is talking about a kindergartener. When Gyldayn practically goes into raptures describing her physical features (I can’t read him talking about “her skin as smooth and pale as winter snow” or the “sweet and bold and mischievous” smile that “transformed her face” without shuddering), remember that he is talking about someone who even by the standards of Westeros is still a young child - even younger than Bran was at the start of AGOT. This isn’t talking about the beautiful woman Daenaera would become - this is Gyldayn having no qualms commenting on the physical attractiveness of a child. That’s creepy, and weird, and disturbing, and why am I not surprised by this point in F&B. 

There are only two aspects of this ball that I like. One is Anya Weatherwax, who is just precious (wow, a child who doesn't have to be complete sexualized, isn't that something). The other is Barba Bolton, who very pleasantly surprised me - a Bolton who cares about the fate of the shivering, starving northern people? Good for you, Lady Barba! 

[arkus-rhapsode]

How Sho, Wally, and Millianna joined Mermaid Heel

Hey guys. This is something a bit different. See I have said that I’m going to be doing a rewrite of the Fairy Tail series. This here is drabble I wanted to write that’s related to the re write. In the GMG re write, I mentioned that I would have all of Erza’s friends from Tower of Heaven join Mermaid Heel and participate in the games, not just Millianna I don’t know why, but I got a sudden urge to write this and, while it will appear in the full re write, this drabble is something I’ve wanted to do. So enjoy.

*In Bar Sun*

Erza: *Sitting at the counter*

Sho: Hey Erza.

Erza: Sho? I’m surprised to see you here.

Sho: It’s been 7 years… How could I pass up a chance to see my Nee-san again? *Smiles*

Erza: *Smiles* I’m sorry for… being away. I’m sure you were worried.

Sho: I thought you were dead, of course I was worried...

Erza: But, your part of guild now. You’re a full fledged mage. I honestly couldn’t believe it when I heard it. Though your guildmate seems to dislike me...

Sho: Yeah… Kagura is a but... much...

Erza: How did this even happen?

Sho: Hnn?

Erza: All of you ending up in Mermaid Heel.

Sho: *Takes a big gulp of liquor* Well. It happened 7 years ago...

*Flash Back 7 years ago to a small forset area outside a small town called Fern*

Sho & Walley: *Rounding up pig beasts*

Wally: Sleep Bullet! Sleep Bullet! *Knocking out the pigs*

Farmer: Oh thank you boys so much, here please take this! *hands them a bunch of jewels*

*Heading back into town*

Wally: Wow, talk about easy money!

Sho: Yeah. We’ve just paid for our next few nights at the hotel

Wally: *Blushing* Can’t wait to see the look on Milli’s face when I show her how much we’ve made!

Millianna: *In the distance reading a newspaper*

Wally: Hey Milli! Check it out- Hey what’s wrong?

Millianna: *Crying*

Wally: Come on, doll… I don’t like to see you sad…

Millianna: Guys… Erza’s dead…

Sho: What?! No that’s impossible! Tell me your lying!

Millianna: Read this… *hands him the news paper*

Sho: Magic Council confirms the sighting of a black dragon attack on Tenrou Island. The Island in question was currently holding the Fairy Tail Guild S-Class trials. The island had been utterly destroyed by the black dragon and along with it, numerous mages. According to the ship manifest, those who died was guild master Makarov Dreyar, Natsu Dragneel, Gray Fullbuster, Er… Erza… Erza Scarlet... *struggling to hold back tears*

Millianna: *Cries harder*

Wally: *Starts rubbing his eyes under his glasses, holding back tears*

Sho: This-This Isn’t happening! She can’t be dead! Nee-San can’t be dead! *Has a small flashback of her hugging him in Tower of Heaven*

*Starts to rain*

Wally: We should get back to the hotel…

*Inside the hotel*

Wally: *Walks into an empty bar room with only Sho and the bartender*

Sho: *Taking big swigs of alcohol*

Sho: Hey…

Wally: Yo… *Takes a seat next to Sho* Milli cried herself to sleep. Thought I’d see if you’re feelin’ dandy?

Sho: Does it look like it?

Wally: Hmm

Sho: Barkeep. Another glass…

Wally: Is this all your going to do?

Sho: I lost Nee-san. What else am I supposed to do right now?!

Wally: I don’t know. People die… It just happens…

Sho: But, Erza… Erza was always invincible to me. Even when we were jerked around by Jellal, I can’t forget thinking nothing could touch her…

Wally: Yeah… but she was willing to already die for our freedom.

Sho: *Slams his glass on the table* And that makes me so much more angry!

Wally: Huh?

Sho: She gave us freedom… and what have we done?

Wally: Were seeing the world-

Sho: And?! It’s not like we commit to anywhere, we’re just drifting aimlessly through life! We’re not free…

Wally: What did you say?!

Sho: We aren’t free! We haven’t done anything since we’ve obtained freedom a few months ago! Your telling me that being a free man is sitting on my ass just going from place to place with no goal!?

Wally: It beats living in that shit hole! Don’t tell me you want to go back?!

Sho: I’m saying I want to do something with my life! Like Erza did!

Wally: Oh yeah? And what’s that?  What should we do, huh?!

Millianna: …join a wizard guild.

Sho: Oh… Millianna.

Wally: Didn’t know you were awake?

Millianna: Yeah... *Wipes her puffy eyes a bit*

Wally: Why a guild?

Millianna: Because… We’re mages aren’t we? We have a level of magic other people don’t have. Maybe it’s time we use it for something bigger than ourselves.

Sho: *Just staring*

Wally: Hey, we do stuff for others!

Millianna: Yeah, but then we can do more than just helping someone we stumble upon. We can rescue people, save towns from dark wizards, make sure no kid ever ends in another tower...

Sho: *Takes another drink*

Millianna: Erza… She must’ve thought the same… She took her incredible gifts and used it to help this country, maybe we should do the same.

Sho: Y'know what… *Slams glass on the counter* Your right! We can honor Erza’s memory in another way!

Wally: Aww hell, you guys make me wanna jump in too! It’s settled, Barkeep! Where’s the closest guild?

Bartender: That would be Mermaid Heel in Lilac. It’s about 2 hours north. One of the top guilds in the country.

Sho: Then it’s settled, tomorrow we’ll be mages of Mermaid Heel!

*Arriving in Lilac*

Millianna: Wow…

Wally: Nice lookin’ town. Big too.

Sho: *Sees the Mermaid Heel guild hall* For Erza…

Risley: Hey there, travelers!

Millianna: *Runs up ahead of Sho and Wally* Hi!

Risley: Cheery one aren’t you?

Millianna: Yeah, I wanna be a mage here!

Risley: Really? Can you use magic?

Millianna: Yeah!

Risley: Then who am I to say no!

Millianna: Guys we can join!

Wally: Sweet!

Sho: That was easy.

Risley: Oh… You two boys want to join as well?

Sho: Yes ma'am!

Risley: Umm *Scratches her cheek* Well… we don’t have any male wizards…

Sho: That’s okay, we don’t mind!

Risley: Umm...

Kagura: *Appears* We don’t have many men… Because we don’t allow them!

Risley: Kagura?!

Millianna: Huh?

Sho: You can’t do that!

Kagura: I’ve seen it many times before. Guys come here because they here it has a lot of female mages so they either come here thinking they can stand out in a guild of women, or have every girl here hanging off them. People like that aren’t welcome here.

Sho: Hey we’re nothing like that! Wally, back me up-

Wally: *Blushing* She’s cute~

Sho: Damnit!

Kagura: This is a guild of wizards, to heighten magic in pursuit of its art form, to give assistance to those in need, to help make even the weakest and smallest mage grow into a great wizard... Anyone seek to undermine those standards, doesn’t belong here!

Sho: Look, I don’t know about the other guys who’ve come through here, but I swear to you we’d never do that. We’re not here because of our gender, we’re here because we want to be mages!

Kagura: Very well… prove it.

Sho: ?

Kagura: We can’t turn you away solely on gender, but I can turn you away if you fail our entrance exam.

Sho: Fine! *Grabs his cards* I’ll show you!

*Fight over, Sho on the ground*

Sho: Damn…

Kagura: We’re done here. *Walks away*

Sho: Wait! *Standing up* Again, I want to go again!

Kagura: *Turns around* ?

Sho: You said you could reject me if I failed, but you said nothing about not being able to take the entrance exam again! All I gotta do is beat you once! *Pulls out his magic cards*

*Another round*

Kagura: You lose.

Sho: Again!

Kagura: You can still stand?

Sho: And still use magic! So I can keep trying!

*Another round*

Sho: One… more...

Risley: He sure can take a lot... Especially considering it’s Kagura he’s going against

Kagura: Hmm…

*Another round*

Sho: I… I… *Can’t stand up*

Wally: Let’s call I quits, Sho.

Millianna: Yeah, there’s plenty of other guilds.

Sho: No… I’m not running away! I’m not going to cower when things are tough. *Sees Kagura as Ikaruga* Erza’s not here to save me. I have to win on my own! *falls down*

Kagura: Most men, just walk away. *Walking towards Sho*

Sho: ?

Kagura: Some grumble that this is unfair, others pout, but I don’t think any have other tried again.

Sho: Yeah I’m going to join this guild…

Kagura: Here at Mermaid Heel, we dedicate ourselves to strengthening our magic. And if you’re willing to put yourself through hell just to be a mage. Then you’ve got what it means to be a Mermaid. *Gives Sho a hand* Welcome to Mermaid Heel.

Sho: *Tearing up*

Millianna: *Jumps into the air* Yay!

Wally: Hey… I’m sorry for my behavior… heh

*Return to the present*

Sho: So for the last 7 years we’ve been doing jobs, taking new friends, and becoming stronger wizards. *Sees Erza visibly shaken*

Erza: I’m sorry...

Sho: Erza...

Erza: I’ve feared how people would be hurt if I died and now knowing what you felt...

Sho: It’s not your fault Nee-san. In fact, if we hadn’t thought you were dead, than I don’t think me, Millianna, and Wally would’ve gotten the kick in the pants we needed and make it as wizards.

Erza: ...

Sho: To think even in death you guided us. *Smiles*

Erza: *Smiles* Then I guess it’s time you shown me just how much you’ve grown, Sho.

Sho: Nee-san, me and my guild won’t go down easily!

Erza: Well, I can’t afford to let my guild down either!

[hayaomiyazaki]

Transcript: MAURICE 4K restoration Q&A with James Ivory

I had the absolute, tear-inducing honor of seeing Maurice (1987), one of my favorite novels and films, in its 4K restoration at the Quad Cinema in NYC last week, which included a Q&A between critic David D’Arcy and the film’s director James Ivory. I have included a transcript of the Q&A below the cut (I’m not a professional but I did my best). Enjoy!

DD: How many of you saw this film in NY 30 years ago? Oh my God. Wow. Who saw it for the first time tonight? Please ask a question. Wow. How difficult was it to put this financing deal together 30 years ago? JI: It wasn’t difficult because we’d made A Room with a View, so everyone was very, you know, into what we were gonna do next. I mean, it really wasn’t a problem. DD: So, when this film opened, it played at The Paris [Theater], and Jim [?] told me before we walked in that it played for four months, which seems ― for anything besides a studio film that’s locked in somewhere ― seems like an eternity. A Room with a View played for over a year, was it? JI: Over a year, yeah. DD: Yeah. Happy with the four months or did that not exceed your expectations? JI: Well, who would not be happy at The Paris Theater? DD: So, I read― We did an interview about this in San Francisco about six weeks ago, and what I didn’t know as I was doing research on this is that there was some resistance on the part of the estate that this be made into a movie. Is that right? JI: That is correct. DD: Talk about that. JI: Well, it had nothing to do with the subject matter of the book; it had to do with the belief of writers and literary critics and so on that of all his novels, it was the least good, and that, therefore, if we were to draw attention to it by making it into a film, in some kind of way that it might pull down his literary reputation. So for that reason, they were― When we said we wanted to make it, which was after they... I won’t say that they refused or anything like that, but they were surprised and not especially enthusiastic. DD: Did they take some convincing? How did that happen? JI: Nah. One meeting and it was all okay. We went in there and― Well, they wondered why we had wanted to do A Room with a View and not A Passage to India, and when we said we wanted to do A Room with a View ― the first time when we went to his [Forster’s] executors ― their mouths fell open and they said, “That little book? Why would you want to do that?” DD: So you didn’t have your normal screenwriting partner [Ruth Prawer Jhabvala] working on this project. Why was that? JI: Well, there were two reasons. She was in the midst of writing a novel and she didn’t want to be interrupted in that; that was the novel called Three Continents [(1987)]. And she was also one of those who thought this was his least good book, and she called the book and the film “sub-Forster” and “sub-Ivory,” she said. However, she was enormously helpful. When Kit [Hesketh-]Harvey and I had written the screenplay, she was very, very helpful in making suggestions that would help the story. It was her whole idea for the trial of Risley―I mean, Risley being set up and then arrested (Lord Risley, the friend from Cambridge) and sent to prison. And as a real reason to frighten Clive into some sort of quote-unquote “normal” adult life. That was her idea; that’s not in the novel. There were other things, too... She was always very good at helping one cut things down. DD: Looking back at the way critics saw the film in ’87, what do you think now? Talk about the reaction of the critics. JI: Well the reaction was good here. We never met people―I mean, everybody seemed to like it. And it was right at the height of the AIDS epidemic, and I think, really, people―[mumbling]―there to, you know, confuse issues of morality with a lot going on. No one said, “This is a film that should not be made or should remain,” whatever. There was nothing of that sort. But I think the shadow of the AIDS crisis quieted people. But, really, they were pretty enthusiastic back in the day. I didn’t feel too stabbed [?]... except in England. DD: Tell us about that. JI: Well there, the reaction was strange, really. As somebody put it ― it changed in the direction of the critics, almost all of whom were male ― he called it “mealy-mouthed.” And their reaction was not all that supportive. But almost to the [mumbling], they were gay: every single film critic. So you figure that out. DD: In the film that you just saw, there’s a great line that I’m going to mangle, which is that the English have a hard time accepting human nature [“England has always been disinclined to accept human nature”]. So, some casting choices that you made which were not― I thought the actors fit those roles very, very well, but you had other people in mind originally. Would you talk about that? JI: Well, yeah. Well, Julian Sands was going to play Maurice and John Malkovich was going to play the hypnotist [Dr. Lasker-Jones, played by Ben Kingsley]. John Malkovich was Julian’s great friend and they had worked together in [The] Killing Fields [(1984)], and they were going to play those two parts. Then Julian had some kind of crisis of...his, in which he left the film, his agent, his wife and child, and his country, and came to live in New York for a while. And so he pulled out, like, three weeks before we were ready to start. I mean, the film was all cast, everything was there, we found the locations: everything was ready. And then we had to replace him. But I had met James Wilby. James Wilby played a little, very tiny part ― tiny, you don’t even know it! ― in A Room with a View. I met him and I thought he might work, and he called me back. DD: Have you ever had the experience before of an actor pulling out at the last minute? JI: Not pull out, but― Yeah, we did. In A Soldier’s Daughter Never Cries, Nick Nolte was supposed to play the role of the father in that, and he got involved in doing Thin Red Line, and he was off in the South Pacific somewhere for months and months and months and months longer than he was supposed to be. So he had to be replaced. Then, Kris Kristofferson, who, I think, knew about the situation and had heard about it, and read script ― he offered to do it. He wanted to play the part and I’m terribly glad he did. Nick would have been great, but also Kris was just fantastic in that. I think! DD: I know we’re gonna have some questions from the audience, so I have two general questions I want to ask because I think other people might also be very interested. Why did your producer-director-screenwriter partnership [with Ruth Prawer Jhabvala] last as long as it did? Longer than most marriages, longer than almost anything? How do you account for that? JI: Well, it’s like the American government. Why has it lasted so long? I was the president, Ismail [Merchant] was Congress, and Ruth was the Supreme Court. And we all respected ― we tried ― we respected each other. Each of us did perform our functions and then there was great love and affection there, and that was also part of it. DD: One other thing. There’s a term that’s come to be used: the “Merchant-Ivory film.” Did a critic name that or you, Ismail― JI: No! DD: How did that term come about? JI: No, I don’t. I mean, it’s fine. It’s okay. Why not? Now we’re like a certain kind of movie. People come and actually offer me a book to autograph of novels that were made into films that we didn’t make. So... DD: Alright, let’s get some― Right here, please. Speak up! We don’t have a mic. Audience 1: It’s a pleasure. [mumbling] I was on the set watching you guys film ― JI: Oh yeah? Audience 1: ― [mumbling] Real quick question. Filming at [University of] Cambridge, I know you guys had a problem in some of the halls― JI: No, only the chapel. That’s where the row was. Audience 1: Oh, okay. And you [D’Arcy] mentioned Merchant-Ivory. Things like Downtown Abbey [sic] have a strong hold... [mumbling and a man next to me talking over my recording; Audience 1 asks about Ivory’s being American and his repertoire of films that have become part of British cinematic culture and history]. JI: You know, I always think of these as American films. I’m American, so how can they― Nobody else is British who made them, except for the actors and the crew, but, you know, they don’t count. [audience laughs] So, to me, I’ve always thought of them as American films. And I know what you’re saying, and I don’t think the English ever liked calling them British films. They didn’t really accept them as British or think of them as British. They were too weird and foreign. Audience 1: I think of them as British― JI: Well that’s really Forster. And, of course, it was in the case of [Kazuo] Ishiguro― I mean, you know about that, with The Remains of the Day. Yeah. DD: Other questions? [quick issue with the mic not working, and D’Arcy gets up to fix it] Audience 2: Mr. and Mrs. Bridge [(1990)] seems to reflect a very similar class structure. So many of your films deal with that very rigid class structure. People suffered greatly. It seems to me that Kansas City, Missouri is eerily the same and unchanging to this day, and it fascinated me [mumbling] that you wanted to do Evan Connell’s great books. JI: Well, I was interested in those two novels ― Mrs. Bridge and Mr. Bridge ― when we were working in India. And strangely enough― I mean, we were getting on a train in Calcutta to go to Delhi, and there were these guys that had these rolling book carts. I had read Mrs. Bridge and just thought it was an extraordinary book and I loved it, and then there was Mr. Bridge being sold in a Calcutta station. So I got that and read it on the train. And then we arrived in Delhi and I gave the books to Ruth Jhabvala and I said, “This would make, I think, a wonderful movie. I love it.” She read them and she said, “We couldn’t possibly make this into a movie!” I didn’t think about it for a while. Then, I learned, later on, once I’d met Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward ― just sort of met them socially ― I learned that Joanne Woodward was actually going to make a television version of Mrs. Bridge. I thought that, “Why don’t we combine the two books and make a film?” And then Ruth was ready to go along. She said it was one of the most enjoyable scripts for her... periods of work for her. That and The Golden Bowl were her two favorite pieces of work. Audience 3: There’s one scene where Maurice is having breakfast with his family and his sisters are there, and there’s a woman that’s never identified. JI: That’s― Yeah. The film had a different form once. The film was written― I mean, the script was written as a kind of flashback for much of it. I remember her name was Gladys, and she was the girl that Maurice imagined or tired to kiss and she pulled away from him in some kind of... distaste. That was a friend of the sisters; that’s who that was: Gladys. Audience 3: [can’t make out exactly what Audience 3 says here because she stopped using the mic, but she asks about any deleted scenes] JI: Well, I don’t know. That may be― I don’t know what’s happening with the cut out scenes in this current restoration. I think they’re probably there. I think you’ll find those scenes in there. DD: Okay, the man sitting right there. Audience 4: Can you hear me? Maurice’s mom ― is that the same actress that played Mrs. Baylock in Richard Donner’s The Omen? JI: Yep. Billie Whitelaw. DD: Okay, I was told I have one question left, but that was so short that we’ll give another one. Yes? Audience 5: In 1997 [he is misspeaking and means 1987, the year Maurice was released], there were a couple years there where there were several movies about gay people that were positive and encouraging and this is obviously was. [mumbling] To what extent, given when it was made, was it a political decision for you [mumbling]? DD: Can everybody hear him? I don’t want to paraphrase that. Audience 5 [with mic]: When you made the movie in 1997 [he is misspeaking and means 1987, the year Maurice was released], there was all sorts of stuff going on. To what extent was it actually a political decision or was it just― JI: It wasn’t a political decision. It really wasn’t. I mean, I read the book― We were going to make another movie and that fell through, and suddenly we didn’t know what we were going to do. And I reread that book ― not especially looking to do it or anything ― and I liked it very much, and I saw its resemblance, in many ways to A Room with a View: it’s about muddled young people who are living a lie. And I thought this would be a very good film to make, and also relevant to the day because that hasn’t changed... and that’s how it came about. Audience 5: It was a very good film for a muddled young person. JI: Yes, I know. We want you less muddled. DD: Okay, ask your question, and then I’m going to get in trouble for letting people ask [mumbling]. Audience 6: In the extended set ― there’s a DVD set which now seems to be quite rare ― there was an entire character that was cut out of the film: the young boy. JI: Yeah. Right. Audience 6: The movie is 2 hours and 20 minutes. Was that just done because of time? JI: That was―that was done―Yeah. That was part of this whole flashback situation. Audience 6: I see. JI: But he [Adrian Ross Magenty] turns up again in Howards End [(1992)]. He’s the Schlegel brother, the young brother of the Schlegel sisters. DD: Okay, ask your question. Audience 7: Given the time that you did make this film, did you have a particular vision yourself ― I’m sure that you did ― what your vision was in terms of what you were trying to achieve with this particular story at that particular time? JI: Well, I was trying to achieve what Forster was trying to achieve: I just wanted to tell that story. And as much as possible cinematically, and with is tone of voice. I didn’t set myself a sort of goal to achieve, something I’ve almost never been able to do...that. We just, you know, do our best to go on. [laughs] I really didn’t think of it in that kind of way. DD: Do we have time for one more? Yes! Oh, good! Audience 8: I’m a musician, and the music is stunning, of course. It is such a melancholy feeling in the beginning. How much of that was collaborative [mumbling] discussing the tone of the music, which lends so much emotional texture to the film? JI: Well, the way we used to work was― I mean, he [Richard Robbins] would have read the novel and then he would have read screenplay and then he would have seen― he would have been getting ideas already and thinking about what he might do. Then he would see the rough cut and then he would see the final cut, and somewhere along in there, he and I would sit down together and he would play me things or he would have certain themes he wanted to develop. We’d talk about it a bit. But, on the whole... I mean, it was a step-by-step process, him always going ahead for all the films. DD: Okay, we’re getting the hook here. There’s another sold out screening! Thank you all for coming after 30 years. Thank you very much, James Ivory.

[dalhousiediaries]

DalhousieDiaries Season 1: A Review

♪ Currently listening to: Blem by Drake  ♪ 📚 Currently reading: A Game of Thrones by George RR Martin 📚

I’ve been waiting for so long to write a post like this, I’m so excited to write this you guys have no idea.

My first year has been a phenomenal experience, and I’m sure so many of my peers in their first year of university can say the same.  Living in residence (#ResLife) has been an amazing opportunity, I was able to meet so many new people, to build deep and meaningful bonds and construct connections with a diverse group of people from all different walks of life, continuing their walk through post secondary education.

Let me tell you all about it.

I may be repeating some parts of my journey on the far east coast of Canada, bear with me, I’m going to be going into a bit more detail and reveal things that I didn’t in my update posts prior. 

I was terrified of coming to the East.  No lie.

I had heard all the racism-horror stories, saw the slow development of the city of Halifax and the surrounding cities, and of course when you’re flying from one end of the country, especially a country as big as Canada, to the other side - you’re going to be at least a little intimidated.  But at the same time, I was so excited to begin my journey - this would mark the first time I live by myself, the first time my decisions would affect me and only me, where my parents would be unable to help me out physically.  Maybe that was what attracted me to the cold shores of the East Coast? I’ve never really had the sense of thrill and adventure from relocating and this was the first time I had that opportunity.  The first time I’d truly be able to show that I could fend for myself and prove to my parents that I could take care of myself.

Though my mind was muddled with worry, doubt and excitement, the skies were clear.

I landed in Halifax on September 1st, 2016 around 2 am or so.  I can’t remember as clearly as before since it’s been so long and so many things have happened since then.  Our first night was what my friends would call a “clown fiesta”.  My mother and I, both exhausted, landed at the Halifax Stanford International airport, and we grabbed a cab right away.  The driver, I remember, was a very talkative fellow but at the same time he had this air of what I can only best describe it as superiority? He talked very surely of himself and assumed that my mom would need a “good cab driver” back and handed her his card, to that my mother politely accepted the taxi driver’s business card, while swearing at him under her breath.  I guess the first city in Nova Scotia I’ve been in is Dartmouth, where our hotel was.  The hotel, or should I say motel, my mom booked was a 2 star at best.  She had gone online prior to our trip to the Eastern province to search for a bargain deal on accommodations.  This is important to keep in mind. Anyway, we arrive at our destination and I have no idea what the total of the ride came out to be as both my mom and the taxi driver shooed me out to retrieve our luggage from the trunk.  Assuming she paid, my mom followed shortly after, heaving the heavy pieces of luggage to the front entrance to check in. While we were checking in to our luxurious 2 star room, the cab driver burst through the front door, grinning ear to ear, exposing his yellowing and chipped teeth, excitedly asking my mom if she “meant to write that down”.  I think my mom had enough of this greasy chauffeur and hastily reaffirmed, what would be later discovered as her blunder. 

So turns out that she gave this cab driver a $90 tip.

To anyone who knows even a fiber of my mother, they’d know that Isabel Choi does not fuck around with money.  For an immigrant, coming from Korea with little to no money, someone who had to work harder than others, who had to juggle jobs to earn even a little more money than not, for someone who suffered role strain everywhere, this shocked, upset, and saddened her all at once. And in true Isabel fashion, she took her anger out on me.  Of course I wasn’t the only one she was mad at; she was angry at herself as well but the receiving end of all her fury was me.

“Why didn’t you stop me from tipping him fucking $90?!” ‘Well Mum, you made me go get the luggage.’ “You could’ve stopped all this if you just asked me to check!” ‘And that’s my responsibility how?’

The very first night we arrived in Halifax, we got into an argument.  But for those who know the females of the Choi household, this won’t come as a surprise.  However, from there, everything escalated to an argument.

“Why are we in this kind of hotel? It’s stupidly far from Dalhousie and there’s nothing around here!” ‘You wanted a good deal.  As always, prioritizing value over comfort.’ I retorted.

But the nights went on. 

I forgot to mention, that prior to even boarding the plane, even before everything remotely related to my move to the East Coast, I had been talking to a friend that I met through the Dalhousie Class of 2020 Facebook group, some of my readers may recognize the name from a few of my other posts, Mikayla Fisher.  At the time, I had no idea what this girl was like, but we had each other on Facebook and Snapchat - and talking to her, just knowing that there’s someone I know in this unfamiliar territory brought me so much comfort.  So I’ll actually take the time right now to thank her for that, thanks. 

I remember spending the three days I was in that sad excuse of a motel, just snapping my new found friend, crying a lot (I missed people back in BC dearly), and reading up on Dalhousie.   On the second day, we decided to go “dorm room stuff shopping” as my mother excitedly exclaimed.  The closest Wal-Mart was still quite a ways away, and I can’t really give a reliable source of distance or anything since I didn’t drive, nor did I ever drive in Nova Scotia.  For the mode of transportation, we had rented a cute car (one that my mother had always yearned to drive), I believe we crossed a few bridges and was on a highway the entire time. 

The morning of the second day however, was my first time experiencing and really feeling how the locals thought of Asians and/or immigrants/POC in general.  We decided to hit up the local Swiss Chalet, and of course since we’’ve never been in that Swiss Chalet, we didn’t really know how things worked.  After holding the door for a few elderly folks, mum and I walked in, and were told that there was actually a separate part of the building for take-outs and she courteously lead us there.  So far so good.  Once we ordered our meals however, that’s where things turned sour - and I don’t mean the food.  The cashier, I noticed, continuously rolled her eyes at my mother’s (still) broken English.  Once our food was packed up and ready to be picked up, she called us over (we were sitting on some benches on the opposite side), and before we could even take a step toward the counter, she flung our bag across the counter.  No thank yous, no “have a good day”, nothing. 

Let’s skip ahead, there’s nothing interesting after this.

September 3rd is when I finally moved into Risley Hall, the residence of my choice.  Dalhousie gave me the room 2123, which I thought was an easy number to remember but I sooner or later realized I would have remembered my room number anyway since I’d be living there for the next 8 or so months.  My room was on the second floor, on the first “tower”, which was one of the wings of the E-shaped building.

My room itself was pretty nice, a bit small but I liked that, it was cozy.  Also, I reminded myself that no matter how small this room was, it was still better than living at home (which I later recognized was a debatable statement).  It peered out the front side of the building, opposing the other, newer Residence Hall, LeMarchant Place.  I quickly realized, compared to the other students in Risley, my room was pretty bare.  I only packed the bare necessities and didn’t really bring much “comfort” items - which I now realize, and advise first years leaving their home town, to do.  Bring comfort items. 

Residence Life (stylized as #ResLife) was pretty interesting actually.  The first week or two was filled with activities, and I was able to take part in it because other than the fact I was a freshman, life in residence just made things like that more accessible and more open - if that makes any sense at all. The way Risley Hall was set up was that each wing/tower had it’s own RA (Residence Assistant), since there were three wings per floor, there were three RA’s per floor (excluding the first floor since the first tower for that was occupied by the lobby and the meal hall).  There were six floors that comprised Risley Hall, so quite a number of RAs.  The Residence Assistants are the ones you would usually go to for help, complaints (if on duty or whatever), just to talk to, to get advice or whatnot.  They mainly comprised of older students, ranging from 2nd year to 4th, all from different faculties and areas of interests.  They were the ones that would decorate their respective tower’s bulletin board, make the name tags for residents, patrol the building at night and plan floor and resident events.

My door-tag in first year, first semester - Harry Potter motif.

Speaking of floor presidents, this year I was the Rock’s (1st and 2nd floor) Vice President.  Alongside President and certified-good-guy, Matt Cheverie.  Treasurer Michael Cormier, Secretary Kamryn Robichaud, Environmental Rep Carly Mayhew-Gallant, and 2nd floor rep Adrienne Evans.  Unfortunately we weren’t able to do as many events as we would have liked to due to unforeseen circumstances but my time with the council was a blast and it even helped me to become closer to Matt and Michael  (two grrrreat guys).

My floor and tower, and I guess Risley in general was, (according to the RAs) “uncharacteristically noisy/rowdy”.  But what did they really expect when you put a bunch of first years in the same building?  Especially with my tower, they put all the boys that could be friends in the same hallway.  To no one’s surprise, they all became friends and things like this were a frequent occurrence, though it wasn’t exclusive to our floor:

I don’t know what’s with people and punching walls, but this happened more often than you’d think!

This past year, my RA was  Andrea, who I didn’t end up being too close with but other than her, I found myself making friendships with the RA’s from other floors, most notably from first floor, a second year bio major, Meghan, and from sixth, a psychology major, Ben.  Of course the RA’s and I got along as well, but I find myself looking back, wondering what to write for this segment and realized how much positive influence Meghan and Ben made in my first year, not only just as an University student but as a new student in residence.  However, when I had arrived in Risley, I was so homesick.  

You wouldn’t be able to tell by just looking at me now, but I was so homesick.  So homesick that I had cried almost everyday and anywhere.  I remember David Kerr, one of the two head front desk staff, asked me if I was okay because, well, I guess he noticed I was down.  I started crying on the spot.  But then again, David is a really good friend now, so maybe that wasn’t a terrible thing that happened! But as good as that new forged friendship is, I felt as if I had made the wrong decision by moving so far, so suddenly.  It was, after all, my first time living alone, living away from the sheltered roof of my parents.  Looking back, I can confirm that I was still just as excited, but my sorrow overpowered my excitement and fear lingered in my every decision.  I can recall my peers and some of my teachers asking me if it was an “impulsive decision”, perhaps it was, I can’t even remember anymore - but impulsive or not, it was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my short 18-almost-19 year old life.  In Halifax, I didn’t have any of my elementary or highschool friends; I had no one that I really knew or felt comfortable around, and I guess that made me come off as passive (which I kind of admit, I kind of am), and made me seem more reserved than I actually am.

Basically, making friends was hard.

There was one thing that soothed me that Vancouver and Halifax had in common, and that was it’s coast - the sea.  Luckily for me, Halifax was right by the ocean.  Exiting the building, if I went right - the sea was there and if I went to the left, through downtown Halifax, I’d end up at the Waterfront.  I gotta admit that the Waterfront and beaches in British Columbia are far superior.

If I left Risley Hall and took a right, this is where I’d end up.  The rowing teams for both Dalhousie and the neighbouring (rival?) school, Saint Mary’s, would practice here.

Though I say that BC’s ocean is superior, I have to admit that the East’s sea and rivers are beautiful as well.   I found myself coming to this location quite often, though against my Mother’s wishes of “don’t wander around at night!”, “don’t come here by yourself!” - the first two months at the very least, I found myself wandering here, sitting on the rocks if the tide was low or sitting on the makeshift bench if the tide was higher.  Every time something bothered me, I was scared, stressed, sad, I’d come here.  Like I said earlier, for the first two months, that was pretty often.

As for friends, I had mentioned earlier of a new found friend, Mikayla.  That friend ended up introducing me to a few of her other friends, (and before you ask, yes Mikayla is quite the social butterfly).  She introduced me to Caitlin Singleton and Kylee Smith.  I’m not sure where along the way we met Jessica Perry and Kirsten Clarke but we ended up all being friends.  Because of a fire alarm (for some reason, they were quite frequent in the beginning of the year), we ended up meeting Victoria Byrka; who, when I look back now, was just as scared and alone as I was (if not, and if you’re reading this Vic, forgive me, haha).

A more detailed post about them and how our little group formed is in this blog post.  

Pictured from left to right: Caitlin, me, Mikayla, Victoria. We had gone on a Ghost Tour as it was one of the available activities during Orientation Week (Halifax is apparently a very haunted city).  You can tell how uncomfortable I was at the time. (Circa, September 2016).

I had written about these girls before, but it was so nice to have actual friends that I could talk to and in a way, ease myself into the Haligonian (as they say) lifestyle.  We were there for each other no matter what, no matter who it involved.  I remember the time Mikayla and her long-time (now ex-) boyfriend broke up, it surprised me how involved the girls were in helping her out of her difficult transition from a long term and serious relationship.  It surprised myself that I was that involved with someone.  The night of the Ghost Tour was only one of the many nights we would spend together; from drunken nights gone awry, to casual nights eating SnappyTomatoes we had ordered earlier in the night, nights where we’d chat away in the hallway (quietly of course), into the late hours until the sun began to poke it’s head out.  Another thing about Residence Life that I loved was the constant companionship - I could literally walk down from my second floor room to their first floor hallway and they’d all be there. 

I’m more comfortable in this picture.  We had gone to a Clay Cafe as part of a “Girls’ Bonding Night”.

I had initially chosen to colour in a mug of a shark, but I guess halfway through I thought ‘I know how to make this lamer’ - and drew inspiration from League of Legends champion,Tahm Kench (albeit, done badly!) - Pre-Glazed cup.

So unlike schools in British Columbia, Dalhousie gets two reading breaks (which is basically a one week break in the semester), and for my first reading break I decided to head west (not too west though) to visit my friend’s family.  She wasn’t there as she attends a university in Ontario, but her family is pretty much my family.  We had been in contact, and her mother had invited me up when I had time.  I booked a bus ticket with MaritimeBus or whatever it’s called and left the first day of Reading Break, headed for Moncton, New Brunswick. 

Along the way, we stopped by a few places...

Both are still in Nova Scotia.  I believe after Truro, we headed into New Brunswick.  By then, my phone had been depleted of it’s life juices and I couldn’t take pictures (or Snapchat geotags).

As you can probably tell with the picture of Amherst, I arrived in New Brunswick late at night, where Janet’s (previously known as Helen) parents greeted me at the terminal. One thing I noticed right off the bat is how flat Moncton was.  I mean, to be completely fair, Halifax is pretty flat too.  But at least Halifax had a few highrises and corporate office buildings popping up once in a while, but Moncton was super, super, flat.

Another thing you notice about the small city is that all the signs are bilingual.  Stop signs have both “stop” and “arrête”.  Which I thought was pretty interesting and half of me wished all of Canada did that.

The next morning, I got a better look at Moncton.  I have to say, in the fall, the west coast’s maple leaves just do not compare to the east’s.  I have never seen so many maple trees in one place at once, and the colours were so vibrant.  So many fire reds, stunning oranges, glistening golds and so on;  even the leaves transitioning from green to red or orange were stunning.  As we drove down to the Bay of Fundy, leaves rained down on us in a shower of golds, reds and oranges.  If I only had the time to snap a picture ...

The Bay of Fundy was quite an interesting place, first of all the Bay itself was a colour of chocolate milk or light coffee.  Perhaps it’s because of the dirt or mud? I have no idea and I should really go Google it but that’d take away from the wonder I captivated and was about to write about so I won’t for now.

Tay Zonday would go crazy writing a song for this one.

The Bay of Fundy also had another interesting environmental quirk (I guess I can call it that?). The Hopewell Rocks, also called the Flowerpot rocks.

Moncton was also where I did my first escape room! I had done the puzzle with my friend’s sister, Michelle, and her friends - who had invited me initially to hear about my experiences at Dalhousie.

The escape room was in your typical Prison escape-esque format.  We honestly could’ve escaped, as we were so close but alas, we failed.

Despite what our signs say, we failed.  New Brunswick is the only province that is actually bilingual - that’s why we also had French signs.

Thus ended my trip in New Brunswick.

Sometime in between Reading Break I think, I ended up taking care of fish.

Like, betta fish.  Three of them actually.  One, that was owned by my good friend Mikayla (his name was Gilbert!) and the others, Fluffy and Brute, owned by another friend, Leslie.

Anyone who had me on Snapchat was basically spammed with fish snaps.

It’s me and Gilbert.

Leslie’s fish, both dead now (RIP), Brute on the left and Fluffy on the right.

Again I think I told a lot of people that I’d be attending Dalhousie in hope of getting into their dental hygiene program - and this will serve as an update and more like a final decision on that.   As I was preparing for it, studying to get good grades for it, I got so burnt out.  Perhaps it’s because I didn’t have an outlet for my constantly rising stress and anxiety, perhaps it’s because I actually never really had an interest in such subject.  Like I said in another blog post, I always had an interest in news, politics, then later writing.  People like Peter Mansbridge and Sukhi Ghuman inspired me, drove my desire to go into either broadcasting or politics, or maybe both.  I could never really go against my science-minded parents’ wishes and for some reason, I decided to follow what they wanted instead of what I wanted, instead of believing I could go into something I wanted and actually succeed, I believed that I would fail in life, be poor or miserable if I hadn’t gone into a discipline my parents had mapped out for me. Attending Dalhousie while taking classes like Political Science, Gender and Women’s studies, and European History made me realize how well I actually did in those classes and how much, (and more importantly) how much I actually enjoyed those type of classes.  More writing, more reading up on cases, past experiences and accounts of others, and I guess in general, more reading.

Of course that doesn’t mean that I did terrible in my science classes - I did well actually, but I felt more joy and satisfaction getting back an A- or + paper from Political Science rather than stressing over identifying sutures and types of synovial joints in both my anatomy/physiology classes.

So, many of you probably already know that I had switched majors to political science and sociology (double major), hoping to get into law, or to focus really into politics.

This change, brought a new friend.

In my political science classes, both semesters, there was this guy I didn’t really notice at first but as first semester wrapped up and second semester took place, and the political science class dropped from 300-something people to a measly 70 (and less probably) people, you begin to notice more people.  

Yes, this is how I met Joshua Collins.

I think I can say that Josh is my best friend in Halifax.

Josh, is this guy:

A good looking guy, eh? This was taken during our end of year dinner (just the two of us because we’re super cute) at Your Father’s Moustache.

I get a lot of “how did you and Josh meet?” and “are you two dating?”. To answer those questions, I’ll first tackle the second question and then dive into how Josh and I became friends and how we ended up becoming best friends -

No, Josh and I are not dating.  Next question:

Well again, Josh was in both my political science classes, both in first and second semester but we ended up actually talking in Professor L. Carbert’s political science class in second semester.  We had worked and studied together, and we ended up pooling our answers together along with Ryan Kaulbach, resulting in 98-99%’s on our take home quizzes.  From there we started talking, walking to class together and ordering late night food together.  Months and months of this resulted in the beautiful friendship that Josh and I have now.

One of the many nights Josh and I ordered food.

We talk about everything.  Go everywhere.  I’m fairly certain Josh knows more about my weird quirks than anyone else, especially my pet peeves when it comes to the breakfast/lunch/dinner table.

We went on a little adventure out on the city and got Goji’s (Froyo).  Marking the first time Josh ever had froyo! We’re so cute.

Speaking of dating, during my first semester at Dalhousie, I had broken up with my (ex)boyfriend, (we’re still really good friends so things are fine! Broke up on a good note).  Like in my previous post about my experience dating on the east coast as an ethnic minority, I’ll probably repeating myself when I say this but - I got a lot of backhanded compliments and desire/lust because of my ethnic background.  On the other hand, I also received a lot of rejection, again, because of my ethnic background.  I had met up with a Chinese-Canadian student who was raised in Halifax, he had expressed his struggles growing up in the traditionally conservative city.  That had really broadened my mind in a way I got to experience something without even really feeling it.  What he said was so relatable, even though I didn’t actually live through what he had, but just experiencing the racial divide at 18, as someone who’s been around so much racial tolerance and acceptance, it was as if I moved almost backwards in progress in terms of racial equality - the change had shook me up.

The change actually scared me to go outside, and perhaps this is also fueled by the fact I was unfamiliar with the city.

Let me just say, the weather was dynamic as heck.  The winds, unlike the wind in British Columbia, were like knives.   You British Columbians thought the snow was bad this year? I’m fairly certain, you guys haven’t experienced what a real blizzard is.  Apparently, even according to my Nova Scotia native friends, this past winter was the worst they’ve seen in a long while.  Classes were canceled days at a time, or occasionally if the school deemed things to be clear enough to hold afternoon classes, the morning classes would still be canceled, and since I ended my school-day at around 11:25am -  there were days where I had no class at all. 

The snow piled up super high too.  It came up to my waist in during the peak of the snowfall.  However, unlike Vancouver again, Halifax does a really good job cleaning up the snow.  The main roads and the busier sidewalks were clear of snow the next morning usually - which, I heard, didn’t really happen back west.

A view peering out from Risley Hall’s Meal Hall featuring, Dalhousie’s Snap GeoTag.

Again, peering out from Risley’s Meal Hall.

This one’s from the window from second floor, first tower.  Giving you the view of a snow topped Student Union Building to the right, the Marion McCain building straight ahead and a bit of the Killam Library on the left.

The campus itself is sprawled across the historic city.  Making Halifax a city that really caters to the young academic minds that inhabit the coast-side metro.  With that, comes to lively night-life.  If you’re not 19 yet, then it wouldn’t be a very fun town to live in (which was my personal experience).  There was a board game cafe that actually required you to be 19+, I have no idea why mainly because I never asked.   The city itself is beautiful though - you could really feel the history ooze out of every nook and cranny.  So many old government buildings, memorials, plaques, and more.  The architecture was so old fashioned and European with it’s tall structure and brick exteriors, yet there were signs of budding modern changes in the city, like tall corporate buildings, graffiti that sprawled across, what it seemed like, unreachable heights. 

Halifax, where contemporary clashes with history.

A shopping district in downtown Halifax; wasn’t on the main road but a friend and I took a little detour to get here.

Downtown Halifax.

A view on a rainy day, straight ahead is the Student Union Building.  Photo snapped in front of LeMarchant Place.

Overall I gotta say, Dalhousie was fun.  My first year was fun.  Sure, I had trouble adjusting at first but once I really got into it and found my place, things weren’t so bad.  I made a bunch of good friends and a few really, really, good ones, experienced a ton, and learned a lot about myself.

Like what kind of drunk I am.

Reading Break pt. 2.  I believe this was the only time I agreed to go out, and drink.  Needless to say, I got very drunk and I couldn’t touch vodka for months.  I’m not a good drunk either.  How do I know? Let’s just say there’s a few videos of me out there...

Studying was fun, wait - I’m sorry, studying what I was interested in was fun, and working toward a goal I was actually committed to kept me occupied.

Rare (actually very common) images of my study spread.

Initially, this blog (dalhousiediaries) started up as a joke between me and a group of my friends in BC (4am).  It also started as a way to prove myself that I can stay committed to a project or a long-term goal.  I’m happy and proud to say that I’ve proven myself that I can.  Thank you to everyone who made my year at Dalhousie, in Halifax, Nova Scotia, so memorable. 

What’s next for me? Well I got the position of front desk staff this coming semesters, so I’ll actually be going back to Halifax a little earlier than other returning students and even new first years.  Since I got bumped to floor president as well, I have a bigger room for the next two semesters and things are looking cozier.  It’s always hard when you first start out, no matter what it is or where you are.  That, I can say, is the best way I can summarize my first year.

Until next season.

“With man this is impossible, but with GOD all things are possible” “For I can do everything through CHRIST, who gives me strength” Matthew 19:26 and Philippians 4:18